#This is silly ignore me

[lewiscarrolatemybrain]

Reading about the cultural and social importance of bathing throughout Chinese history (because I am exactly the kind of person who spends hours reading about the cultural and social importance of bathing throughout Chinese history for no particular reason on a Tuesday night) and obviously now I'm imagining the sects all lowkey competing with regards to their public baths -- or at least the ones meant for visiting disciples and dignitaries.

The Jin are obviously doing The Most and being incredibly tacky about it. The floor of the bath is made of gold tile that dull super quickly and the whole tub needs to be frequently drained so the tiles can be deep cleaned and polished, and of course once they're shiny they reflect light up and through the water in a way that's actually really distracting. The bath bean has crushed pearls and seventy four different types of flowers in it. The benches are intricately engraved and inlaid with gems in places that pinch your butt when you sit on them.

The Nie have a natural hot spring that they have turned into their main public bath. The massive cavern houses a number of varying-sized pools, some of which interconnect and others of which are freestanding. The free standing pools are typically treated with different soaks to give the water various medicinal properties (most often for things like muscle aches or minor injuries, but also for skincare and such.) I imagine the Nie recipe for bath-bean would include animal fat and pancreas, making it very rich and cleansing.

Part of me wants to say the Jiang would just bathe in the lake but that seems cheap to me, so instead: Through a combination of well-placed pipes and clever array work, the Jiang bath house feels like a mini indoor rainstorm, with water falling in thousands of warm droplets from the ceiling above to fill the pools, which are more shallow that a typical bath would be. There are built-in overhangs you can sit under to get out of the "rain" while still being in the water. If requested the rain can be "turned up" and the lights dimmed, and cymbals crash so you feel like you're really standing out in a raging thunderstorm, which some people find incredibly soothing and others find terrifying. I can't think of anything unique for the bath bean other than lotus flowers but I do think, given the proximity to the river, that mud wraps would be a common treatment offered.

The Lan... probably have the worst public baths, actually. They may not even actually have a public bath at all. If they do have one, it's not meant to be a place of luxury or entertainment, although of course it would be tastefully decorated and comfortable. Rather they'd find some way to make public bathing less about socializing and more about silently meditating while pretending you aren't surrounded by other naked people. I guess the cold springs kind of sort of count as a public bath but not really. Bath bean smells distinctly medicinal, but obviously whatever is in it works, because the Lan all look Like That.

The public bath in Qishan stopped being a popular attraction when Wen Ruohan stopped having visitors, but for years their bath was one hell of a marvel. Massive, bronze statues of phoenixes would be heated until glowing-hot and then lowered into the stone tub, filling the air with thick steam. Patrons would sit around the room on their benches, sweating it out until the statues had cooled enough for the water to be safe to enter. If you wanted a cold bath, the adjoining room was also home to a massive bronze statue, this one of a dragon that sat in the center of the tub and poured cool water out of it's mouth. Bath bean was made with plant ash rather than rice or soybean powder, and the water was all treated with volcanic ash.

And, because I am Me, the Wei sect: I'm imagining a dark hall deep in the cave systems, the floor lined with man made in-ground pools of varying sizes not entirely unlike the Nie baths, however these pools aren't connected to an outside water source or each other. There are illusion arrays carved into the walls that send out glowing, ghostly shapes of fish and otters and other river creatures swimming through the air. The pools are filled through overhead pipes that pour water, oils, and herbal mixtures into the pool, and each pool has access to it's own set of labeled levers, so a person or group of people can customize their bath while they're having it, adding more cool water, hot water, or various add-ins. The bath bean is more of a paste due to the addition of a ton of collagen. (They get it from the kitchen's bone broth. The bones are not human, but that doesn't stop visiting disciples from scaring each other about it. Don't piss off the Yiling Louzu or you'll end up in the soap.)

[pinkhairedzayn]

i've never in my life failed a drug test and now i did. why? because apparently too many poppy seed muffins made it look like i was high on both morphine and other opiates. this is what i get for choosing that over chocolate. i'm telling you, dudes and dudettes, never again. n e v e r again. @scandaloushqstarters

[shares-a-vest]

Steve is met with a face full of flowers, blinded by an indistinguishable array of colours the second he opens his front door.

And just as quick, they are gone, Eddie revealing himself from behind the bunch with a smile so dimple-filled and sickly sweet Steve can't help but be suspicious.

"Brought you some flowers!" Eddie sings, swaying back and forward on the spot before shoving them right in his face again.

Steve recoils, his nose itching from the sheer proximity to their pollen centres.

He moves to lower Eddie's hand but decides it would be best to wrap his hand around his wrist instead because...

"Eddie, your hand is covered in ants."

[sannin-three]

Do condoms exist in the Naruto world or do they just go "STD obliteration jutsu!" and call it a day

[disfrutalakia]

Anyway, bagina carmila au but not the book carmila the web series one

[a-studious-reej]

I still like responding to things with “as god intended,” partially because it’s always been a reflex silly joke but now with the added level of like… which one?

I’ll never tell.

Was it the intention of a good god? A decent god? Or a petty-as-hell one?

Or both??

You’ll never know.

[aylaaescar]

Stone Ocean ending for SHOH. MC is Jolyne, giving Caine (Emporio) their last bit of strength to stop the big bad. timeline is reset once more and the cast is living happier lives after the big bad's been wiped from existence, though they don't remember their last lives. Caine remembers, though, and meets them again shortly after that last battle. they don't remember him and they're not really the same people, but he sure remembers #traumatizea12yearold

[mychemicalbrromance]

Guys ive been reading peak

[fairyroses]

when your partner transforms into an eldritch herald of the arcane to escape the burdens of human emotion but unfortunately for him you're into that shit 😏

(a redrawing of this comic)

+ some textless close-ups because I like them:

[bepomepo33]

Bros gotta lock in…

(Original post @/handji_kyle on Twitter)

[pr0cyon-lotor]

AU where chess is a common strategy game in PIDW and SY is a chess master before he gets transmigrated. Like undefeated and well known in the community. He's probably popular even in mainstream social media because he's a pretty boy with a soft demeanor.

Of course he still reads PIDW and is a massive hater, but he now hides it because he sees it as shameful especially with his reputation of being a kind-hearted person.

Anyway he dies and gets thrown into the novel a bit after the Qing generation ascends. He's just a rogue cultivator or maybe even a demon, not really important. What's important is that he gets bored and misses his old hobby.

He finds out chess is a thing in this world and immediately hops into it again. Sadly, he keeps beating people and no one is a real challenge. So to give himself a puzzle, he picks up other strategy games and gets really good at them too. And after a few years, he is well known in PIWD with his skills in a variety of games.

Enter SJ. Fresh off getting LBH into his peak and STRESSED about how much he sees himself in this child and about how much he hates that fact.

He enters the Warm Red Pavilion and finds some guy playing a game with one of the jiejies. One of those little mind games to entertain the guests, and he's playing against the best one.

SJ watches while he waits for his room and to his surprise the man wins. He immediately gets ready to step in-between because whenever guests win against one of the prostitutes they always get handsy and he knows that particular one doesn't like to do sex work (like maybe she specializes in poetry and dancing instead yk).

Instead of the man getting handsy, he asks for another game, which she accepts with a smile. And now SJ is watching them play with much more interest. After a while the madam comes over and asks if he's interested in their regular.

SJ asks about the man and gets his name and finds out that apparently SY comes to the brothel to play against the ladies and listen to music at times.

SJ keeps it in mind and then leaves for his room. The next time he sees SY is during another trip down the mountain (probably dressed down to not draw attention to himself). This time he was in a tea shop playing go against an elderly man. SY wins again and patiently explains what mistakes the old man made.

The old man accepts defeat and asks him for a rematch. SY agrees, and SJ finally approaches out of curiosity. SJ asks if he can play SY after they're done. The old man says something about how he's probably going to lose anyway and says SJ just takes his turn.

SJ accepts it and sits in front of SY. He thinks it's going to be an easy win, something to stroke his bruised ego. Only for him to get completely annihilated like it was an embarrassing lost for him. (It wasn't embarrassing, he almost won, but he didn't win so obviously it was embarrassing)

SJ expects gloating and nearly crushes his fan in his hand. SY tells him that he was a tough opponent and he asks for another rematch. SJ is confused about the sincerity and hesitantly agrees even though his ego tells him to cut his losses now.

They continue to play multiple games in a row, each one getting longer and longer with each mistake SY explains and helps SJ fix (he doesn't even notice he's taking advice from a man). They continue playing and drinking tea until they're kicked out because the shop is closing.

SY laughs sheepishly and says he didn't even notice the time pass. He asks if SJ is free to play again because it's been the first time in years he's had that much fun against someone else. SJ agrees because he refuses to have a losing streak (and he found it a little fun too).

Eventually it becomes a routine, SJ comes down the mountain every week and plays SY in go until the establishment they're in kicks them out. And because his brain is constantly on how to beat SY, he starts neglecting other things (like abusive LBH and other duties).

And because he's neglecting duties, eventually he has to do a information collecting mission with Shang Qinghua. They arrive at the town and they're tasked with collecting information on a lead of a demon hiding within a festival.

Somehow this leads to SY joining their little info gathering group and finding out SQH is Airplane (he's still somehow unaware of SJ being SQQ because of course he is).

Shenanigans ensue and somehow a sting operation is set up with SY being used as bait. He manages to coerce the demon into a game of chess while he waits for SJ and SQH to arrive.

They play chess. He thinks he'll just stall until the two get there, but halfway through he moves his knight and it ends up near the demon's knight. And with a straight face, the demon takes both knights off the board while claiming "And they're both out for horsie marriage."

Right then SJ and SQH arrive to slay the demon, only to bare witness to SY doing the Xianxia equivalent of shooting the demon point blank with a Glock 19 because surprise surprise that bullshit move pissed off the chess master.

SJ says something sarcastic about not needing to save the damsel (they put) in distress. And then SY asks to speak to SQH privately while dragging him out by the ear.

He continues to interrogate the author because what the ACTUAL FUCK was that bullshit move?! And SQH defends himself by saying he never thought a professional chess player would ever read his stuff, much less play the game in-verse. He tells SY he thought it would be funny if that could happen.

Anyway.

SJ has to pry SY off SQH because he almost legitimately strangles him to death. SY is dragged away, screaming things that'd make even a demon blush, and admittedly, SJ is amused.

They end up in some tea shop, SY muttering about the idiocy of it all in English, and SJ ordering for both of them. He asks what got SY so mad since like this guy has had an unshakable pleasant demeanor until now.

SY makes up some story about how his hometown played chess differently and that he's realizing he doesn't know how chess is played anywhere else. He asks SJ for a guide for playing chess because he doesn't want to overreact like he did before.

SJ agrees in exchange for a guide of how his hometown played chess. The deal was made and after they came back to town they both write their manuals. They exchange them in their next meetup, and SY is muttering about how stupid some of the rules are. SJ finds it very funny as he reads the manual SY gave him, finding that he prefers his version since there was less unnecessary traps.

SJ eventually asks to play SY in a chess game once he understands his version. SY happily agrees and they play over and over again until SJ beat him. SY is over the moon and asks for another rematch, which he gets beaten again. They play a few more times wins alternating until SY grabs SJ's hands and tells him he's in love with him and his massive brain.

SJ is caught off guard and flustered, so he hits SY with his fan and calls him shameless as he leaves to preserve as much face as possible. SY whines about him being unfair and follows SJ while apologizing about the comment.

SJ ignores him and leaves SY alone. He thinks he fucked up until the next time they meet, and SJ brings him a book he been meaning to buy but just couldn't find. SY is about to comment on the gift but SJ shuts him up and hides his face behind his fan. He manages to see the smallest hint of a blush and (shockingly) understands.

They both start exchanging gifts each meetup in silent courting. And surprisingly he hasn't abused LBH since he got there (because he forgets to. he has a boyfriend to worry about thank you very much 🤨), so when the Conference comes, SJ doesn't throw LBH into the abyss.

He still ends up in the abyss but only because MF got thrown in when they encountered MBJ, and he jumped after his shixiong. SY is there because of course he wants to stop the evil scum villain from hurting his little lamb, but he's just standing there like

Because how else is he supposed to react to LBH throwing himself into the abyss to go after MF who was thrown in when they encountered MBJ. Was Ming Fan even supposed to be there????

Also why is SJ in such ornate robes. Why is he mourning? Why are they going back to Qing Jing? WHY IS NING YINGYING CALLING SHEN JIU BABA?! WHY IS EVERYONE CALLING HIM SHIZUN?!!!?!???

[mizzyislost]

youre interrupting them

[gordonfreemanspussy]

happy october :]

@scienceteamtober day 1: before the game

with lovely beautiful awesome forever character art by @winkreallyisntable goes CRAZY!!! full art below the cut.

[erinwantstowrite]

i finished writing chapter 14 so no one needs to spray me with water to get me to focus (we just have to wait for my beta to wake up and double check that it's good)

so have some timkon sillies in the meantime!!!

[14dayswithyou]

💖 Day 3.5 is now available! 💖

For the last couple of months, only Server Boosters had access to the 3.5 update... Buuuuut now it's available for everyone to play in the 14DWY Discord — and soon itch.io once I'm happy with the QA and state of the game — so please don't feel pressured to join unless you want to!!

The full devlog + even more screenshots are under the cut ^^

What's been added to the 3.5 version?

📺 Streamer Mode!

I've been told that it's difficult to stream and monetise age-restricted videos on YouTube and Twitch, so I added an option to remove the sexual content and strong language used in the demo.

Now y'all can invite Ren into your bed for cuddles without putting your streamer career on the line /silly /lh

This won't affect the 18+ rating or dark themes/elements of the game, however! Although Streamer Mode will prevent you from seeing any "gruesome" CGs in the future, most of the core elements of the game will still be tied to the choices and decisions you make. So you won't miss out on the overall experience by using streamer mode!!

⚙️ Custom Pronouns!

It only took me one entire year to get around to it, but you can finally choose your own preferred pronouns (or use a set of pronouns instead)... At the cost of being able to change them mid-game ^^;

Since the original pronoun screen wouldn't update until a new scene was displayed, I temporarily disabled the feature. But once I find a workaround, I'll bring it back!

💗 Choose how others perceive you!

You can now choose how the cast and narration perceive you! Originally, the narration was kept strictly gender-neutral (outside of pronouns and genitalia picked by the player), but this will soon change in future updates.

For more clarity: you don't get to choose the words specifically, but you can choose between masculine, feminine, and androgynous terms!

📋 Separate top and bottom genitalia!

You can now choose your tatas and pps separately! >:3

Alongside that, you can also choose your preferred body type!

I removed the "both" genitalia option because a few players still assumed it was an obscure version of "intersex". That wasn't my intention and I don't want to mislead anyone, so I took it out for now ^^;

I also didn't want to include a screenshot of the new genitalia choices in action (because it's NSFW), so y'all get the same character menu screen for the nth time instead lmao

📱 Relationship Screen Overhaul!

You can now change your own status for more immersion, and long-term Server Boosters will eventually be able to submit and use their own icon within the game as well!

Stalking finding your friends has now become easier by using "Buddy Maps"; a new app that allows you to see the location of all the cast members!

I want to offer players more incentive to check the relationship screen since they tend to miss the status updates, so hopefully this might help ;v;

It also says it "updates every few hours" so folks don't go overboard and check every 5 seconds to see where Ren is gdsghf (also keep in mind that he's a hacker lol)

🖤 Additional Scenes Update!

Day 2 received a brand new CG!!!!! Originally, I planned on only adding a few CGs sporadically throughout the game, but it didn't feel right to leave Day 2 so... empty... so I added a brand new CG to (hopefully) make things feel more balanced and natural!

If you decline Teo's offer on Day 3, Leon will now call and try to convince you to reconsider. However, players are still allowed to decline, and if they do, they'll reach a dead end.

After listening to feedback on itch, I changed some of the dialogue during Days 1-3 to make it seem more consistent! They're only small changes though, so it's honestly not worth looking for sdgjssga

🎶 Updated BGM and SFX!

I wanted to try out a different style of music to see if it fits the vibe of 14DWY more! The BGM features more acoustics to suit the "beachy" theme of Corland Bay, though I made a conscious effort to include piano elements as well to stay true to the original!!

I figured it'd be better to give players a live example before I make a poll (to see if they prefer the change or not) and publish it to Itch.

Some new SFX have also been added, though it's very minimal and honestly not that noticeable.

How to download and play the update?

(warning: clicking on the following links will open Discord!!) To download the Day 3.5 update, simply join the 14DWY Discord server, verify your age, and visit the "14dwy-updates" channel!

Alternatively, you can also wait until the update is publicly released on Itch to play it as well!! (It normally gets released shortly after a round of QA testing/getting feedback from the server, though I may release it earlier if I feel like it hehe ^^)

Enjoy!!

[rynli]

YOU: Send the HAM fighter-craft for another mission.