#This is silly ignore me

[lewiscarrolatemybrain]

Reading about the cultural and social importance of bathing throughout Chinese history (because I am exactly the kind of person who spends hours reading about the cultural and social importance of bathing throughout Chinese history for no particular reason on a Tuesday night) and obviously now I'm imagining the sects all lowkey competing with regards to their public baths -- or at least the ones meant for visiting disciples and dignitaries.

The Jin are obviously doing The Most and being incredibly tacky about it. The floor of the bath is made of gold tile that dull super quickly and the whole tub needs to be frequently drained so the tiles can be deep cleaned and polished, and of course once they're shiny they reflect light up and through the water in a way that's actually really distracting. The bath bean has crushed pearls and seventy four different types of flowers in it. The benches are intricately engraved and inlaid with gems in places that pinch your butt when you sit on them.

The Nie have a natural hot spring that they have turned into their main public bath. The massive cavern houses a number of varying-sized pools, some of which interconnect and others of which are freestanding. The free standing pools are typically treated with different soaks to give the water various medicinal properties (most often for things like muscle aches or minor injuries, but also for skincare and such.) I imagine the Nie recipe for bath-bean would include animal fat and pancreas, making it very rich and cleansing.

Part of me wants to say the Jiang would just bathe in the lake but that seems cheap to me, so instead: Through a combination of well-placed pipes and clever array work, the Jiang bath house feels like a mini indoor rainstorm, with water falling in thousands of warm droplets from the ceiling above to fill the pools, which are more shallow that a typical bath would be. There are built-in overhangs you can sit under to get out of the "rain" while still being in the water. If requested the rain can be "turned up" and the lights dimmed, and cymbals crash so you feel like you're really standing out in a raging thunderstorm, which some people find incredibly soothing and others find terrifying. I can't think of anything unique for the bath bean other than lotus flowers but I do think, given the proximity to the river, that mud wraps would be a common treatment offered.

The Lan... probably have the worst public baths, actually. They may not even actually have a public bath at all. If they do have one, it's not meant to be a place of luxury or entertainment, although of course it would be tastefully decorated and comfortable. Rather they'd find some way to make public bathing less about socializing and more about silently meditating while pretending you aren't surrounded by other naked people. I guess the cold springs kind of sort of count as a public bath but not really. Bath bean smells distinctly medicinal, but obviously whatever is in it works, because the Lan all look Like That.

The public bath in Qishan stopped being a popular attraction when Wen Ruohan stopped having visitors, but for years their bath was one hell of a marvel. Massive, bronze statues of phoenixes would be heated until glowing-hot and then lowered into the stone tub, filling the air with thick steam. Patrons would sit around the room on their benches, sweating it out until the statues had cooled enough for the water to be safe to enter. If you wanted a cold bath, the adjoining room was also home to a massive bronze statue, this one of a dragon that sat in the center of the tub and poured cool water out of it's mouth. Bath bean was made with plant ash rather than rice or soybean powder, and the water was all treated with volcanic ash.

And, because I am Me, the Wei sect: I'm imagining a dark hall deep in the cave systems, the floor lined with man made in-ground pools of varying sizes not entirely unlike the Nie baths, however these pools aren't connected to an outside water source or each other. There are illusion arrays carved into the walls that send out glowing, ghostly shapes of fish and otters and other river creatures swimming through the air. The pools are filled through overhead pipes that pour water, oils, and herbal mixtures into the pool, and each pool has access to it's own set of labeled levers, so a person or group of people can customize their bath while they're having it, adding more cool water, hot water, or various add-ins. The bath bean is more of a paste due to the addition of a ton of collagen. (They get it from the kitchen's bone broth. The bones are not human, but that doesn't stop visiting disciples from scaring each other about it. Don't piss off the Yiling Louzu or you'll end up in the soap.)

[pinkhairedzayn]

i've never in my life failed a drug test and now i did. why? because apparently too many poppy seed muffins made it look like i was high on both morphine and other opiates. this is what i get for choosing that over chocolate. i'm telling you, dudes and dudettes, never again. n e v e r again. @scandaloushqstarters

[shares-a-vest]

Steve is met with a face full of flowers, blinded by an indistinguishable array of colours the second he opens his front door.

And just as quick, they are gone, Eddie revealing himself from behind the bunch with a smile so dimple-filled and sickly sweet Steve can't help but be suspicious.

"Brought you some flowers!" Eddie sings, swaying back and forward on the spot before shoving them right in his face again.

Steve recoils, his nose itching from the sheer proximity to their pollen centres.

He moves to lower Eddie's hand but decides it would be best to wrap his hand around his wrist instead because...

"Eddie, your hand is covered in ants."

[sannin-three]

Do condoms exist in the Naruto world or do they just go "STD obliteration jutsu!" and call it a day

[disfrutalakia]

Anyway, bagina carmila au but not the book carmila the web series one

[a-studious-reej]

I still like responding to things with “as god intended,” partially because it’s always been a reflex silly joke but now with the added level of like… which one?

I’ll never tell.

Was it the intention of a good god? A decent god? Or a petty-as-hell one?

Or both??

You’ll never know.

[mychemicalbrromance]

Guys ive been reading peak

[mizzyislost]

youre interrupting them

[pr0cyon-lotor]

AU where instead of Shen Yuan being obsessed with Luo Binghe, he's instead obsessed with the scum villain himself. I mean we all know Bingge is Very Not Good Person™ but you know who else a Very Not Good Person™? Say it with me: Shen Jiu

Like just imagine a timeline where Shen Yuan is writing paragraph after paragraph about how Shen Qingqiu might actually be a good person but Airplane is wasting his potential. The other commenters are saying he's delusional because he abused the protagonist and as all these TERRIBLE allegations towards him. So he's a clear cut villain.

But Shen Yuan is defending his fav with the vigor of a devout worshipper. He's constantly siting parts that are obvious plot holes and how they could give much needed context to Shen Qingqiu's character.

Other people are demanding for worst things to happen to Shen Qingqiu to spite him. Airplane caves. Shen Yuan actively commissions art and fics where Shen Qingqiu is happy. People tell him "Shen Qingqiu won't fuck you bro"

Shen Yuan isn't interested in that. He's a freaky little man with freaky little likes. He'd gladly take Shen Qingqiu's cold glares and even volunteer to have tea poured on him.

When he finishes PIDW, he's been outraged that Shen Qingqiu was killed off a while back. He's even more outraged that Shen Qingqiu wasn't given any mention at the end.

Now, imagine with me that he gets transmigrated into some NPC, literally Unimportant Character No°5. Probably as the head disciple for drama reasons. And as soon as Shen Jiu is brought in, scruffy and hissing as he is. He immediately hugging his thighs and saying he'll be peak lord for sure.

Please follow me into this suspicious alleyway as I continue to explain my vision fueled by sleep deprivation.

So now imagine your Shen Jiu. You're a former street rat and demonic cultivator, you aren't expecting to be liked or respected. You're expecting it, you've come to terms with it a long time ago. What you weren't expecting was for this random ass guy you have to call da-shixiong is immediately insane about you.

He met you first day, literally saw you bite a guy, and immediately started spouting out how you'll be the next peak lord and the absolute envy of Cang Qiong Mountain. You conclude he's missing a few screws because he said it in the most disgustingly sincere way.

You try to continue on with your life, trying to beat him and he looks almost... Excited about you beating him. So he's an M, you think to yourself. But then you see someone trying to beat him or you on something, and this guy immediately gets aggressive. Okay so he's just weird with you.

You continue to deal with him. He's weird but also weirdly respectful. He leaves if you tell him to leave. He defends you like it's his very birth right. He's always there to tend to you as if you were a god. He doesn't touch you and only sits around like a dog waiting for a command.

You eventually get strong enough to beat him, and this absolute buffoon is over the moon about it, already spouting about your supposed success again.

When you actually become peak lord, it isn't surprising. Your hype man has been saying it since day one, he was expecting it for some reason. He continues to spout out nonsense about how he just knew you were going to do it.

So what now? You obviously desire him carnally. What is the next step?

Okay so I know this wouldn't fix them. Almost without question this would make they both worse. But, hear me out, it would be funny. (Especially since just know Shen Yuan's entire inner monologue would be him saying he's just being a good friend as if he isn't being the gayest man in the sect and Shang Qinghua is there. That's an accomplishment to outgay the author)

[erinwantstowrite]

i finished writing chapter 14 so no one needs to spray me with water to get me to focus (we just have to wait for my beta to wake up and double check that it's good)

so have some timkon sillies in the meantime!!!

[gordonfreemanspussy]

happy october :]

@scienceteamtober day 1: before the game

with lovely beautiful awesome forever character art by @winkreallyisntable goes CRAZY!!! full art below the cut.

[14dayswithyou]

💖 Day 3.5 is now available! 💖

For the last couple of months, only Server Boosters had access to the 3.5 update... Buuuuut now it's available for everyone to play in the 14DWY Discord — and soon itch.io once I'm happy with the QA and state of the game — so please don't feel pressured to join unless you want to!!

The full devlog + even more screenshots are under the cut ^^

What's been added to the 3.5 version?

📺 Streamer Mode!

I've been told that it's difficult to stream and monetise age-restricted videos on YouTube and Twitch, so I added an option to remove the sexual content and strong language used in the demo.

Now y'all can invite Ren into your bed for cuddles without putting your streamer career on the line /silly /lh

This won't affect the 18+ rating or dark themes/elements of the game, however! Although Streamer Mode will prevent you from seeing any "gruesome" CGs in the future, most of the core elements of the game will still be tied to the choices and decisions you make. So you won't miss out on the overall experience by using streamer mode!!

⚙️ Custom Pronouns!

It only took me one entire year to get around to it, but you can finally choose your own preferred pronouns (or use a set of pronouns instead)... At the cost of being able to change them mid-game ^^;

Since the original pronoun screen wouldn't update until a new scene was displayed, I temporarily disabled the feature. But once I find a workaround, I'll bring it back!

💗 Choose how others perceive you!

You can now choose how the cast and narration perceive you! Originally, the narration was kept strictly gender-neutral (outside of pronouns and genitalia picked by the player), but this will soon change in future updates.

For more clarity: you don't get to choose the words specifically, but you can choose between masculine, feminine, and androgynous terms!

📋 Separate top and bottom genitalia!

You can now choose your tatas and pps separately! >:3

Alongside that, you can also choose your preferred body type!

I removed the "both" genitalia option because a few players still assumed it was an obscure version of "intersex". That wasn't my intention and I don't want to mislead anyone, so I took it out for now ^^;

I also didn't want to include a screenshot of the new genitalia choices in action (because it's NSFW), so y'all get the same character menu screen for the nth time instead lmao

📱 Relationship Screen Overhaul!

You can now change your own status for more immersion, and long-term Server Boosters will eventually be able to submit and use their own icon within the game as well!

Stalking finding your friends has now become easier by using "Buddy Maps"; a new app that allows you to see the location of all the cast members!

I want to offer players more incentive to check the relationship screen since they tend to miss the status updates, so hopefully this might help ;v;

It also says it "updates every few hours" so folks don't go overboard and check every 5 seconds to see where Ren is gdsghf (also keep in mind that he's a hacker lol)

🖤 Additional Scenes Update!

Day 2 received a brand new CG!!!!! Originally, I planned on only adding a few CGs sporadically throughout the game, but it didn't feel right to leave Day 2 so... empty... so I added a brand new CG to (hopefully) make things feel more balanced and natural!

If you decline Teo's offer on Day 3, Leon will now call and try to convince you to reconsider. However, players are still allowed to decline, and if they do, they'll reach a dead end.

After listening to feedback on itch, I changed some of the dialogue during Days 1-3 to make it seem more consistent! They're only small changes though, so it's honestly not worth looking for sdgjssga

🎶 Updated BGM and SFX!

I wanted to try out a different style of music to see if it fits the vibe of 14DWY more! The BGM features more acoustics to suit the "beachy" theme of Corland Bay, though I made a conscious effort to include piano elements as well to stay true to the original!!

I figured it'd be better to give players a live example before I make a poll (to see if they prefer the change or not) and publish it to Itch.

Some new SFX have also been added, though it's very minimal and honestly not that noticeable.

How to download and play the update?

(warning: clicking on the following links will open Discord!!) To download the Day 3.5 update, simply join the 14DWY Discord server, verify your age, and visit the "14dwy-updates" channel!

Alternatively, you can also wait until the update is publicly released on Itch to play it as well!! (It normally gets released shortly after a round of QA testing/getting feedback from the server, though I may release it earlier if I feel like it hehe ^^)

Enjoy!!

[ozdicaff]

“HEEELLOOOOOO, NEW FRIEND!”

[abnomi]

the only thing keeping him alive are his cartoon physics

[bepoucorp]

happy late bday to Arkham Origins!

[maudiemoods]

Reblog to kiss sun and moon fnaf !!