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dannyphannypack · 2 years ago

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Writing ASL: Techniques to Write Signed Dialogue

Hey, guys! I've been reading a lot of DC Batfamily fanfiction lately, and in doing so I realized how little I see of ASL being represented in written text (love you, Cass!). I wanted to briefly talk about tactics to writing American Sign Language (ASL), and ways that these techniques can help improve your writing in more general contexts!

SOME THINGS BEFORE WE GET STARTED

I will be discussing everything in terms of ASL! If you have a character who uses Chinese Sign Language or even British Sign Language, the same rules will not necessarily apply! Don't be afraid to do some extra research on them.

Do not let this dissuade you from writing a character who signs ASL! This is by no means the end-all be-all to writing ASL dialogue, and I do not intend this post to insinuate that by writing ASL the same way you write English you are deeply offending the Deaf community. If this is something you're interested in though, I highly recommend experimenting with the way you write it! Above all, have fun with your writing.

Related to 2nd rule, but still very important: not everyone will agree that sign language should be treated/written any differently than English. This is a totally valid and understandable stance to take! I do not hope to invalidate this stance by making this post, but rather to introduce an interested audience to how ASL operates in the modern world, and how that can be translated into text.

ADDRESSING SOME MISCONCEPTIONS

ASL is the same as English, just with gestures instead of words.

Actually, no! There is a language that exists that is like that: it's called Signing Exact English, and it's an artificial language; i.e., it did not come about naturally. All languages came from a need to communicate with others, and ASL is no different! It is a language all on it's own, and there is no perfect 1:1 way to translate it to English, just as any spoken language.

2. But everyone who signs ASL knows how to read English, don't they?

No, actually! Because it's a completely different language, people who sign ASL and read English can be considered bilingual: they now know two languages. In fact, fingerspelling a word to a Deaf person in search for the correct sign does not usually work, and is far from the preferred method of conversing with Deaf people.

3. Because ASL does not use as many signs as we do words to articulate a point, it must be an inferior language.

Nope! ASL utilizes 5 complex parameters in order to conversate with others: hand shape, palm orientation, movement, location, and expression. English relies on words to get these points across: while we may say "He's very cute," ASL will sign, "He cute!" with repeated hand movement and an exaggerated facial expression to do what the "very" accomplishes in the English version: add emphasis. Using only ASL gloss can seem infantilizing because words are unable to portray what the other four parameters are doing in a signed sentence.

4. Being deaf is just a medical disability. There's nothing more to it.

Fun fact: there is a difference between being deaf and being Deaf. You just said the same thing twice? But I didn't! To be deaf with a lowercase 'd' is to be unable to hear, while being Deaf with an uppercase is to be heavily involved in the Deaf community and culture. Deaf people are often born deaf, or they become deaf at a young age. Because of this, they attend schools for the Deaf, where they are immersed in an entirely different culture from our own. While your family may mourn the loss of your grandfather's hearing, Deaf parents often celebrate discovering that their newborn is also deaf; they get to share and enjoy their unique culture with their loved one, which is a wonderful thing!

YOU MENTIONED ASL GLOSS. WHAT IS THAT?

ASL gloss is the written approximation of ASL, using English words as "labels" for each sign. ASL IS NOT A WRITTEN LANGUAGE, so this is not the correct way to write it (there is no correct way!): rather, it is a tool used most commonly in classrooms to help students remember signs, and to help with sentence structure.

IF THERE'S NO CORRECT WAY TO WRITE IN ASL, THEN HOW DO I DO IT?

A most astute observation! The short answer: it's up to you. There is no right or wrong way to do it. The longer answer? Researching the culture and history, understanding sign structure, and experimenting with description of the 5 parameters are all fun ways you can take your ASL dialogue to the next level. Here are 3 easy ways you can utilize immediately to make dialogue more similar to the way your character is signing:

Sign languages are never as wordy as spoken ones. Here's an example: "Sign languages are never wordy. Spoken? Wordy." Experiment with how much you can get rid of without the meaning of the sentence being lost (and without making ASL sound goo-goo-ga-ga-y; that is to say, infantilizing).

Emotion is your friend. ASL is a very emotive language! If we were to take that sentence and get rid of the unnecessary, we could get something like "ASL emotive!" The way we add emphasis is by increasing the hand motion, opening the mouth, and maybe even moving the eyebrows. It can be rather intuitive: if you mean to say very easy, you would sign EASY in a flippant manner; if you mean to say so handsome, you would sign handsome and open your mouth or fan your face as if you were hot. Think about a game of Charades: how do you move your mouth and eyebrows to "act out" the word? How are you moving your body as your teammates get closer? There are grammar rules you can certainly look up if you would like to be more technical, too, but this is a good place to start!

Practice describing gestures and action. ASL utilizes three dimensional space in a lot of fun and interesting ways. Even without knowing what a specific sign is, describing body language can be a big help in deciphering the "mood" of a sentence. Are they signing fluidly (calm) or sharply (angry)? Are their signs big (excited) or small (timid)? Are they signing rushedly (impatient) or slowly? Messily (sad) or pointedly (annoyed)? Consider what you can make come across without directly addressing it in dialogue! Something ese about ASL is that English speakers who are learning it tend to think the speakers a little nosy: they are more than able to pick up on the unsaid, and they aren't afraid to ask about it.

Above all, don't be afraid to ask questions, do research or accept advice! New languages can be big and scary things, but don't let that make you shy away. Again, there is nothing wrong with deciding to write ASL the same as you write your English. I've personally found that experimenting with ASL dialogue in stories has aided me in becoming more aware of how to describe everything, from sappy emotional moments to action-packed fighting scenes. Writing ASL has helped me think about new ways to improve my description in more everyday contexts, and I hope it can be a big help to you as well, both in learning about Deaf culture and in pursuing your future writing endeavors. :)

P.S: I am quite literally only dipping my toes into the language and culture. I cannot emphasize how important it is to do your own research if it's someting you're interested in!

P.P.S: I want to apologize for my earlier P.S! What I meant by “I am … dipping my toes into the language and culture” was in direct regards to the post; what I should have said is “this post is only dipping its toes into the language and culture.” While I am not Deaf myself, I am a sophomore in college minoring in ASL and Deaf Culture, and I am steadily losing my hearing. Of course, that does not make me an authority figure on the topic, which is why I strongly encourage you to do your own research, ask your own questions, and consult any Deaf friends, family, or online peers you may have.

#dc batman #batfamily #cassandra cain #ASL #american sign language #deaf #deaf culture #tayscreams #writing advice #writing

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0nyancat0 · 2 months ago

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My take on “radical feminism” that nobody asked for

I myself consider myself leaning very into radical feminism but I see that terf ideologies seem to get mixed in more often than not (wanna make it clear I support trans rights)

1. A lot of rad fems think that all heterosexual sex is rape which is such an insane thing to do and implies that women do not have the power or capacity to consent to heterosexual sex

2. I do agree that we as woman will never find liberation through sex or sex work however rad fems do not realize that a lot of women fall into sex work and can not simply quit, I do not support the sex work industry but I support sex workers

3. To me it seems a lot of white women have overshadowed the movement and only mention woc when it’s used as an aha! moment against men and not with the intention of actually helping

4. Extreme transphobia, the main idea is that trans women rape women’s body’s and appropriating the body, my conflict with this is women are not their bodies and trans women have always felt like women since birth is the biological aspect that’s the problem

5. A lot of rad fems think a women choosing a certain lifestyle or religion is oppressive which again perpetuates the idea that women can not make a choice without a man or patriarchal idea being involved or a sense of brain washing

I think a lot of rad fems have lost sense of the movement and more times than often make themselves appear victim like and in a constant state of martyrdom, yes we women have suffered and continue to suffer and be oppressed but we can not let this weight break us down and make us point fingers at people (trans women and women who choose religion or certain life styles) who are not the root cause of our suffering

Please let me know your thoughts

Edit

⭐️Some people seem to be confused about this but i was born a woman and will always be a woman, it’s so crazy how other women will try to degrade me as if they were men for disagreeing with them or seeing things differently, i do not like liberal feminism and i never have, and i do not like to label my belief system and prefer to make a more individual standpoint than community⭐️

Another edit lol

⭐️I have never claimed to be a rad fem or that I know everything about rad feminism because I don’t, and that was the purpose of this post, it’s really crazy how people will say they want to educate and liberate women while yelling and degrading me for simply not agreeing with them and proceed to do the same things men do, you are no better than a man, I’ve come to realize that this community strayed from its original purpose and roots and has been taken over by people who want to put in their own two cents and opinion, this community or at least a good portion of it seems like a very miserable community, I have meet a lot of rad fems who have common sense and realize that hate will get them nowhere and being rude to me won’t achieve anything, on the other hand majority of rad fems I’ve meet have misconstrued the movement from what I’ve read and put feelings over facts, I won’t interact to hate and only to genuine discussions ⭐️

#radical feminist safe #radical feminism #radical feminists do interact #radical feminist community #radical feminists do touch #radical misandrist #trans exclusionary radical feminist #radical feminists please interact #radical feminst #radical feminists please touch #feminism

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daycourtofficial · 6 months ago

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Falling in Love on the Fourth Floor - Part 13

Pairing: Azriel x reader | WC: 1.8k | Warnings: none | Masterlist

Summary: Out of an act of desperation, you move in with a guy you kind of know who happens to have a really hot brother who lives next door.

Author's note: everyone say thank you to @sarawritestories for bullying me to get me to write and to @milswrites for the NEW HEADER LOOK IT'S SO PRETTY

Ten minutes to the dot from getting to your door Azriel was walking into your apartment with a bowl of popcorn and several bags of candy. He brought chocolates, gummy worms, cookies, and several other sweets in the crook of his elbow, several being held by random fingers. You really weren’t sure how he was carrying it all.

In your absence he also changed into some black sweatpants and a black tee, his arms flexed with all the snacks in his hold. He looked great at mini golf, but now he looked attractive in such a different way.

“What are you doing?” He looked a bit ridiculous, as if he just raided a candy store. He looked even more ridiculous trying to toe his shoes off before making his way over to you.

“I know you don’t have food here.”

“Yes we do - Cassian was supposed to go grocery shopping yesterday!” You whip your head to the kitchen, as if you could see the inside of your pantry from where you sat. “Besides I ordered a pizza.”

He gives you a look, “Cassian’s version of grocery shopping is stopping at our apartment and taking what he wants.”

Your eyes widen, “no he does not! He said he goes to the store for food.”

He scoffs, setting down the candy and snacks on the table in front of you, lining them all up so you could see the label on each bag, “the store of Rhys and Az, maybe. A 24 hour convenience store Cassian has a lifetime membership to.”

You think back to all the times Cassian told you he was going grocery shopping, but you’re not sure if you ever did see him come back with bags of groceries. All the food and supplies just showed up. “Well, I’m sorry he does that. It does explain his luxurious tastes though…”

“It’s fine,” he says sitting next to you, your legs touching. “Rhys’s dad pays for the groceries, so..”

His sentence lingers as he shrugs his shoulders. “It’s what’s worked for us for a long time. Rhys couldn't care less. Actually I think he prefers getting to spend money on us.”

“So things with Rhys’s dad are weird?”

“Uh, yeah, I suppose. His dad sucks. Gives Rhys a- basically an unlimited credit card. Rhys has played with the limits on it before. We all know he’s rich, we just don’t know how rich. He’s spent a ridiculous amount of money on that card with no response. Once he bought all of ours and Cassian’s furniture in one trip - bought ridiculously priced shit too. Didn’t even blink over it.”

He scoops up a handful of popcorn, popping some into his mouth. “Well, all the furniture except their ridiculously sized tvs.”

You giggle, grabbing the bag of sour candies he brought and opening them, popping some in your mouth. “Mm, you’re too good to fall victim to their childish antics?”

“I’m more evolved than them.”

“So it was a different Azriel that Cassian was talking about going racing with him on some backroads a few weeks ago?”

A beat passes and he refuses to look at you, his eyes straight forward. “I think Cassian has face blindness.”

“Oh yeah, mhm.” You pick up the remote, scrolling to look through potential movies to watch. “Maybe we should get a decal for your bike so he won’t get confused again. I’m thinking of something that makes you seem distinguished.”

“Oh?”

“Something that makes you seem intimidating.”

“something scary?” His eyes dance with amusement, crinkling in contained joy.

“Something terrifying. So they know you’re a menace.”

You scroll through the movie options, Azriel’s arm making its way across the back of the couch behind you. He spreads his legs a bit, and you nestle into his shoulder as you put on Jurassic Park, picking a movie you’d be okay with missing some parts to it.

The two of you had watched at least three quarters of Jurassic Park, several parts of the movie missed because the two of you couldn’t keep from making out on your couch.

You watched the entire trilogy, staying up late with him. By the time the second movie came on, the two of you talked through most of it, until you’d reach the scenes with the pterodactyls in the third movie. Then you had forced your hands over his mouth, not letting him talk over your favorite scenes. Once you had pulled them away, he immediately dove on top of you, pushing you into the couch and nuzzling his face into your neck.

The two of you stayed up until somewhere around 3 AM, the third movie long forgotten as you asked him to stay the night. Nothing happened, except you did wake up the next morning with his arm slung around your waist, making it very tempting to completely ignore your alarm clock.

Unfortunately, Azriel had work to do, kissing your temple before he snuck back into his apartment to get dressed.

He had been gone for all of twenty seconds when your phone buzzed and he asked if you’d like to get coffee the next day before class. Your classes lined up at the same time each day, so you two would meet up at a local coffee shop in the morning. You’d park your car in the grocery store lot afterwards, Azriel holding out his spare helmet for you before helping put it on your head before he’d zip you two through campus, one of his hands always on your thigh.

The two of you would separate once he’d walk you to your classes, and then you’d meet back up at the library. It was a bit concerning to you how quickly the two of you fell into a routine, most of your free time of the week either spent with him or texting him.

“I got you something.”

You rummage through your bag when Azriel walks up to the table, his jacket being thrown onto one of the extra chairs. He sets down his helmet as you continue your search. You slide the envelope across the table, his scarred fingers touching yours as he grabs it from you. He opens the envelope, pulling out the note.

‘To be more menacing’ is written on pink stationary, a sticker falling from the paper. He picks it up, a smile on his face as he turns the sticker in his fingers, the cartoon goose with a knife in his mouth looking back at you.

His smile is captivating in the harsh lighting of the library, the LEDs making his skin several shades too light.

But it made his smile all the more blinding.

“Thank you,” he slips the sticker into his jacket pocket, sliding into the seat across from you.

He pulled out his laptop, his bag neat and tidy, a far cry from Cassian’s paper cluttered bag. You go back to reviewing your notes, as Azriel begins typing on his computer. The silence is comfortable between you two, and as you feel it start to settle, Azriel’s foot grazes your own, sticking itself between your crossed ankles.

You peer at him across the table, but his tortoiseshell glasses don’t move towards you, his computer screen reflecting through them to show he was working on some form of coding you had no desire to understand. You smile back down to your books, trying to get all your work finished before Friday, the six of you spending the weekend at Rhys’s dad’s lake house.

Cassian had been moaning and groaning for several weeks about wanting to go to the lake, but Rhys’s dad was having renovations done on the house and on the private dock until roughly two weeks ago. Since its completion, Cassian has been relentless, worming the word ‘lake’ into every conversation he’s had, not being very subtle about what he wanted.

Every morning he texted your group chat about his ‘cornfLAKEs’ or about how he just loves ‘snowfLAKEs’. He had just run out of words two days ago and now resorted to making up words that had ‘lake’ in them. Rhys immediately texted everyone to ‘please for the love of my sanity, be available this weekend or else I’m petitioning we murder Cassian’.

None of you wanted to be stuck doing any kind of work this weekend - Cassian and Azriel already had the weekend off, Mor and Feyre were free, and your plans revolved around the work and the man in front of you. All of you were desperate to finish any work that was due on Monday before the six of you left.

“So this weekend.”

He holds up a finger, typing furiously before he stops, looking up at you. He closes his laptop slightly, pushing it away from himself.

“This weekend.”

You put your chin in your hands, looking at his tan face. You loved seeing him wear his glasses - they made him look so endearing and soft. “Are we um going to tell anyone before we go? Besides Mor, obviously.”

You had texted Mor at some point during the second or third movie, asking her if she had mentioned your date to anyone. She had said no and that she’d be willing to keep it that way if you remembered to thank her profusely for ‘setting you up on the best date of your life’.

You had agreed, but now this left you with a bit of a dilemma - when do you tell everyone? Does he want to tell everyone?

“You don’t understand how annoying they can get when it comes to my love life.”

You giggled, certain you could figure it out based on how nosey and meddling Cassian was.

He clears his throat, “besides I’d like to figure things out with you before they know. I don’t want them to scare you off.”

You laughed, “I walked in on Cassian trimming his toenails the other night. I think anything worse than that violates the Geneva convention.”

His smile is bright as he watches you giggle at your own joke. “How about this,” his hands move across the table, laying them palm up so you can sit yours into them. Your fingers lightly trace the lines on his palms as his voice picks up again. “I’ll take you out for lunch tomorrow, and it will be the official end of things… until we get back.”

You raise your brows, but he’s not finished. “Obviously, not really the end of things. But just.. We’ll come back from lunch as the people we were last week. Before mini golf.”

Your voice is a bit unsteady as you ask, “do you want to stay those people? The before mini golf versions of ourselves?”

“No.” His reply is fast, voice full of conviction.

“You’re not just saying this because Rhys’s lake house has a hot housekeeper, are you?”

He blows out his lips, laughing at your waggling eyebrows, “Sonya’s been about eighty years old for the past fifteen years.” His fingers quickly snatch yours, holding them tightly. “So she’s perfect for me.”

You throw your head back, about to laugh, but he pulls your fingers forward, bringing you in for a soft kiss you can’t help but giggle through.

Series taglist: @anotherbook-obsessedhoe @impossibelle @hayrunnwr @just-a-social-casualty-1 @thisisew @brieflyclassymortal @glitterypirateduck @marshmummy @bookishbroadwaybish @azsteris @doriansgf @footyandformula @mybestfriendmademe @od-anon @judig92 @luvmoo @marina468 @buckyandgeraltsupremacy @acotarobsessed @maryssong23 @acourtofbatboydreams @azrielover

Permanent taglist: @vanilla-seabass @cyrygher @lees-chaotic-brain @topaz125 @chessebookgirl @fides25 @lady-of-tearshed @ashbatz @fxckmiup @lilah-asteria @justvibbinghere @daughterofthemoons-stuff @mybestfriendmademe @heartless-tate @tsunami-of-tears @idrkwhatthisisimsorry @olive-main @azrielsmate3 @pit-and-the-pen @durgenyx @dee-writes-smut @chairofchaos @thelov3lybookworm @berryzxx @throneofsmut @kennedy-brooke

Azriel taglist: @brieflyclassymortal @thisiskaylin

Thanks for reading <3

#acotar fanfiction #azriel x reader #azriel #azriel x you #azriel fanfic #azriel fluff #fourth floor #acotar writing #azriel shadowsinger #azriel spymaster #acotar series #azriel acotar #acotar

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honeydazai · 1 year ago

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⁎ ˚ ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ ᴛᴏᴏ ᴇᴀɢᴇʀ ᴛᴏ ᴜɴᴅʀᴇꜱꜱ

feat.: Dazai, Chūya, Ranpo, Kunikida, Fukuzawa, Fyodor, Nikolai, Mushitarō, Jōno

content: f!reader, nsfw content, clothed sxx, degradation, teasing, dry humping, thigh riding, semi public sxx, cxm on clothing (don't mind the x.. perhaps it won't get labeled with a cxmmunity note then?)

Whether you initiate making out with him in one of the storage rooms of the Agency or you're simply along for the ride really doesn't matter, given how DAZAI will tease you mercilessly anyway. His lips curl into a smug smile when you grind against his thigh, pressed flush against his body, head resting against his shoulder, and his taunting words are as sugary sweet as they're mercilessly cruel.

He urges you to continue, thigh muscles flexing underneath you and giving you a hard surface to grind again, and he chuckles when you cry out, all but aching for him to touch you instead, for slim fingers to slip underneath your skirt and into your panties. Unfortunately for you, he quite likes watching you get more and more desperate the longer you're unable to come by yourself.

“Having trouble, love? My, my, you're too cute when you whine like that. Why don't you try again, hm? I'm certain you'll be able to come if you just rut against me long enough.”

Honestly, CHŪYA is not too fond of having actual sex while still dressed. It's fine for making out, exchanging hungry kisses, your hands wandering underneath his clothes as much as his are on your bare skin, but, in his opinion, that's when the next part should follow, which is tearing said clothing off each other. Still, he does understand why you'd be too impatient to wait and, this time, would prefer to just get to the main event; it is kind of hot that you're still dressed when he stretches you open on two fingers, some of your arousal dripping down onto your skirt.

He's so hard it's becoming painful with how tight his trousers suddenly seem and your heels dig into his shoulders, but he's not about to complain, not when you clench tightly around his fingers and whine for him to please just fuck you properly and, well, he doesn't think he'd have the patience to undress either of you right now. He's all throaty groans when he pushes his trousers only down far enough to get his dick out, immediately pushing into your tight heat, moaning in the process and, before he can spare your sharp heels any more thoughts, he's rasping out praises about how good you feel around him.

“God—, you're so damn tight, fuck. Hah, guess this was a good idea after all. Seeing you all fucked out in your everyday clothes is a cute look.”

KUNIKIDA prefers to do things slowly and thoroughly, to have enough time to gently take you apart and build you back up, to make you come on his fingers before he actually fucks you — but, occasionally, he struggles when it comes to denying you. That's the only explanation he has as for why you're all but making out in the Agency's office, empty except for the two of you, with you pinned against his desk, wood digging into your lower back and lips meeting in a desperate kiss.

You can't really pretend to care about the mild discomfort, not when he moans so sweetly into the kiss as you press your palm against his dick, straining against the fabric of his trousers, and your lips curl into a smirk at his weakening protests about someone walking in and seeing you like this. The way his cock twitches at the idea certainly doesn't seem like he minds the thought.

“We need to be—, ah, quick about this, darling. Both of us would lose our jobs if someone caught us doing this, in the office no less. Oh—, that was good. Do that again, please—, ah, God. You are too irresistible.”

RANPO is quite fond of it whenever the both of you get too impatient to actually undress and make out properly, instead settling on rutting against each other, his hard dick rubbing against your cunt even through the layers of your clothes, the pressure causing both of you to moan softly. It's a quick and effective way for you to get each other off, especially when the situation doesn't quite call for it; the restrooms in the police station, especially while he's waiting for Minoura to return and drive you to some crime scene, really isn't the best place to have actual sex, after all.

If you get too loud, he's quick to push two fingers between your lips and into your mouth, giving you something to busy yourself with while you grind against each other, panting and moaning. It wouldn't be a good look for the Agency if you were found making out while on the job, after all. Occasionally, when he doesn't want to do any work at all, he merely lets you sit on his lap in the office, you rutting down against his cock, whining that it's not enough — if you beg sweetly enough, he'll gladly help you out and slip his hand into your panties. Though it might take a while; you sound awfully cute when pleading, after all.

“Ah, I'm not sure whether you deserve my help yet, love. Why don't you beg me some more, hm? Perhaps I'll change my mind. We'll see. Just do your best for now, will you? I'm quite enjoying the show.”

While JŌNO isn't opposed to the idea of thigh riding — not at all, even; go right ahead, he certainly won't stop you —, he's mean about it. His smirk stretches wide across his lips, as condescending as can be, as you try and pleasure yourself through grinding down against his leg, strong muscle firm underneath you. Occasionally, the angle is just right, the fabric of your panties rubbing against your throbbing clit, providing delicious friction, causing you to whine softly, back arched.

His voice drips with amusement as he calls you a slut, a needy whore even, his words all too cruel until your face feels hot with embarrassment, though it's not like you can stop — literally, because he's got his hands on your hips, moving your body for you, pulling you down against him in a steady rhythm. When you get too comfortable, he makes sure to bounce his thigh a little, relishing in the high-pitched cries you let out at the sudden change in angle.

“I have to admit, you're adorable. Really, I knew you were needy before, but that you're as insatiable as to rut against me like a bitch in heat — that's cute. How about this; if you manage to make yourself come in the next minute, I'll fuck you properly afterwards. If you don't, well; that'd be a shame. It'd seem like you're not grateful for my thigh, then.”

Naturally, FUKUZAWA has quite a lot of patience; it's one of the many qualities that come with the job, whether he wanted it or not. Still, despite all that self-control, he occasionally just can't help but indulge you when you keep on whining about wanting him. His office, the door leading to it heavy, gives an illusion of privacy, at least, which is why he assumes it's not that bad, not quite as lewd as it could be, when you sink down on his dick, a soft moan falling from your lips as he bottoms out inside of you.

You've merely opened his yukata enough to get his cock out, your own skirt convenient, panties pushed to the side instead of pulled off fully; it's messy, but both of you are eager as you rise up on your knees, setting a steady rhythm of up and down, up and down, the head of his dick catching on your hole before it can slip out fully. The friction has both of you moaning, his raspy groans a contrast to your soft mewls, even as you try and stifle your noises in his shoulder — the Agency's walls are as thin as paper, after all.

“Quiet, dear. I don't wish for anyone but me to hear you like this. Those cute noises of yours are reserved for my ears only, understood? .. Good. Good girl. Keep that pace up, now. I'm close already. Come together with me.”

FYODOR is a busy man, that much you're aware of. Still, you can't quite help but miss him, especially when he spends all day hauled up in his office — if you can even call the room that, dark and gloomy as it is, with merely the shine of many computer screens illuminating it —, working on things that are too important, on plans that are too big for you to fully grasp. Luckily, you're able to settle on a compromise, for when you merely need his touch — even though his legs are thin, his lap is quite comfortable when you cuddle up close to him — and for when you need him in other ways, too.

He doesn't mind it particularly much when you grind your hips down against skinny thighs, moaning softly and burying your head in his shoulder while he continues to work, the soft clacking noises of his keyboard a steady background noise you at least try and focus on. Occasionally, one hand of his moves to rest on the curve of your waist, gently caressing you before being taken away again and, even though the occasional friction against your clit when you catch a good angle feels heavenly, you doubt you'll be able to come like this — especially since the rule of you having to be lowkey about it and not disrupting his work had fallen from pale lips.

“Ah, ah — mind the movement, darling. I am certain you do not want me to accidentally press a random button; who knows what might happen, hm? Perhaps it would be a catastrophical event, triggered by your needy behaviour alone. Slow down, dear.”

NIKOLAI is rather eager — really, can you blame him when you run around looking cute all day? He just wants to ruin you so badly; you absolutely can blame him, naturally, but you won't, given how he's awfully good at getting what he wants, and it's no surprise that, soon enough, you find yourself pinned to the wall in some hallway, his hips pushing against the curve of your ass, his dick pressing against you. He doesn't bother to stay quiet and encourages you to be as loud as you wish, too; so what if someone walks in on you? He certainly doesn't mind.

The dry humping has mewls and whines falling from your lips, with you trying hard to brace your hands on the wall in order not to be completely forced against it; Nikolai groans and moans into your ear, warm breath against your neck, your back arching in pleasure. Of course, he's not content just making out with you — the moment he's close, he's quick to open his trousers just a bit, enough so that he can come onto your lower back, successfully staining your clothes and giggling about how utterly ruined you look.

“Ah, ah, look at you, you're so cute, doll—, that's a nice view. A good look on you indeed, hm; perhaps I should mark you up like that more often, yes? Ah, I wonder what you'll do now; I'm afraid everyone will know just what we got up to. My, my, that's quite troublesome for you.”

It's really not your fault that MUSHITARŌ is quite this handsome — so much, even, that you just can't wait until you're home —, though, with the way his eyes narrow at you when you grind your hips down against his thin thigh again, it's obvious he seems to disagree. Still, his cheeks are flushed a lovely pink colour and his hands settle on your hips when you whine softly, curling into him, cheek resting against his shoulder as you rut against him.

He's equally as eager as you are, yet hesitant to admit it, though there's no hiding the way his dick strains against his trousers. The sight of you getting yourself off using his thigh, sitting on his lap in a room that, for now, is empty yet with an unlocked door — God, someone could walk in at all times —, unfortunately gets to him, too; the moment you push your hand into his underwear and wrap it around his dick, he whimpers, the noise high-pitched, eyes squeezed shut, all previous complaints dying on his tongue and, while he pretends to scrunch his nose up at the wet stain your arousal left on his thigh, dripping into expensive fabric, his cock merely twitches again in your hand with mild interest.

“Ah—, I'm afraid my suit deserves a proper wash after this. How am I going to cover the stain up until we're home, hm? I'm not complaining—, stop mocking me. I do not sound like that. Naturally I enjoyed this, too — you must have noticed that much.”

notes: SEASON 5!!!! EPISODE 1!!! TELL ME YOUR THOUGHTS!!!!! also i listened to dance the night away from the barbie movie while writing this. good song

requested?: yes!

reminder to join my tag list (in my pinned post)!!

in case you want to support me, here's my kofi! 💜

tag list: @pigeons-are-rad @cicada-teeth @dzaixchuu @hanakotheghost @shinwifexx @rhaeena @moonssandstars @violet-19999 @iheartpixiedust @irethepotato @beandaifuku , @the-foreigner , @ranpobb, @arixsux, @dei-lilxc , @atsyushi @satoruislove @pastelsbaby @marina-and-the-memes @texchou @shiggysredhead @savagemickey03 @rosepxtlz @nikolaiswife @okura-s @ladykatakuri

@lunerenzo @berywritesstuff @xelia25 @yuuotosaka3 @double-black-dazai @alice0blog @fyodorstolenushanka @ttaiyaki @itsnovariella @black-rose-29 @fyodorscumsock @ayshaashaya @qxxstuff @serenareiss @atsvsh1 @dilucshandholder @reiikonee @1-800-mocha @xvocadooo @hexiisexii @cupxfcxffee @jodidann

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astra-ravana · 2 months ago

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Must Love Demons

Demon originally meant "spirit replete with wisdom", that is until Christianity gained supremacy and began negatively labeling every spirit or pagan deity as a demon. Today it still conjures images of horror movie monsters and torturous possessions. When I tell others that I choose to work with demons, even other witches, I am met with everything from concern to disgust to morbid curiosity. But, I'd like to take a moment to clear up some misconceptions and ease fears regarding these brilliant and misunderstood spirits.

First off, what makes a spirit a demon? Well, as it turns out, lots of things can qualify you as demon. Many of the demons of the goetia started their spiritual reverence as pagan gods, then were disgraced by early Christians for going against their god by simply existing. Most of these beings are very complex in nature, but not evil as rumors would claim. Here's some things angels, spirits, and deities did to gain demon status:

• Knowing astrology/astronomy

• Being one with nature

• Taking back stolen books

• Falling in love with a human

• Helping spirits connect with mortals

• Being a "beast"

• Being a woman and refusing to submit to a man

• Connecting with/assisting the dead

• Doing magick

• Teaching magick to mortals

• Divination

• Having horns

• Being part animal

• Having too much confidence

• Inspiring love

• Teaching people science

• Being a strong goddess figure

• By doing nothing at all

So, would you be considered a demon? I know I sure would. As you can see the criteria by which a spirit is designated a demon is incredibly broad. Most demons mean no harm and conversely, have a wealth of knowledge to share with worthy mortals. These spirits are as diverse as human souls, having preferences, flaws, habits, different areas of expertise, personalities, and emotions. Some of them lived lives as human beings and/or were worshipped as deities.

When you begin researching demons you'll discover that this label encompasses a large, intricate pantheon of spirits, each with their own domains and abilities. Chances are, there's a demon out there who would resonate with you.

When I first started my demonic journey I was answering the call of a spirit that had been reaching out to me in my dreams since childhood. He was patient, however, and when I finally was brave enough to reach back he was overjoyed. This was the demon king of Hell, Paimon. I had never had such clear communication with a spirit and at times I forgot we were on different plains of existence. I had never had a spiritual connection with anything, not like this. Soon I began introducing myself to other spirits. I identified a demon that had protected me my whole life, befriended another, reached out to one to ask for knowledge, and my circle grew. Today I work with dozens of demon spirits and still find them to be the most relatable, loyal, understanding, and patient entities to work with.

I guess the moral is not to judge a book by its cover. I mean we know by now, being condemned by the church means very little in the realms of morality and actual goodness. As witches, our history with the church has a lot of common ground with demons. It's only natural we work together. I hope this maybe makes some reconsider any prejudices they may have towards these spirits. They are individuals, like us, chaotic, charming, loving, angry, divine, wise, and very real. They can bolster your spiritual growth and magick, gift you knowledge, and be a friend too. Can you learn to love a demon? It might just be worth finding out.

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izzystizzys · 5 months ago

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Fox tags along on a smuggling bust one (1) time and subsequently wishes he’d never been decanted.

Well, he’s arrested the perp a lot more than just one time, actually, but that very first tackle into a chokehold and electrocuffs more than sufficed to turn the fates against him - the fates, and Cody, the insufferable twat. They’re not actually even batchmates, the lot of them, and going by numbers Fox was decanted long before them (long as in seconds or minutes, no one actually knows), but Seventeen put them all in a training room together and then stupid kriffing Kote looked him up and down, nodded, and hasn’t stopped calling him vod’ika since.

“Why is one of the Republic’s most wanted criminals asking to speak to you, vod’ika?”, Cody asks, without any preamble, almost making Fox cut the holocall on principle. He would, if General Kenobi wasn’t right there next to the little shit. “And why do I not like his tone?”

Fox has to resist the urge to close his eyes and scream, making do with a deep sigh instead. Force curse the day Cody decided to adopt-nap him, and Wolffe following suit immediately. “Weequay, shifty eyes, stupid fucking pirate bandana?”

Cody’s eyes narrow suspiciously, and Kenobi’s eyebrows raise simultaneously. It’s more than a little creepy.

Fox rolls his eyes so hard he sees stars. “Tell him he can go space himself, unless he wants me to do it for him. And then tell him that if he sends me fuzzy fucking socks again I might just hunt him down and do it anyways.”

Past the slide of the door, Thorn’s unmistakable cackle reaches Fox. And Cody, going by the narrowing of his eyes. “Don’t tell him that, ori’vod, he’s probably into that”, Thorn calls out, gleefully, and Force Fox really should’ve kept this to himself in the first place.

He would’ve, actually, but the constant stream of strange presents into Guard headquarters is hard to miss. It was Alderaanian chocolates, last week, which Fox pawned off on the Shinies. A box from a store with a blacked out label before that, which he launched out the window with burning ears before Thire could get a closer look at it.

“Actually”, Thorn continues, happily, “I don’t think it matters much if you do tell him anything - it’s not like the Commander has been the most graceful courtée, and that hasn’t done anything to discourage our favorite smuggler.”

“Marshall Commander”, Fox hisses, because he’s a pissy bitch, and then, because all professionalism has gone out the window anyways, “This is why Stone is my favourite.”

Thorn’s wounded gasp is lost over Kenobi’s thoughtful hum, and Cody’s patented I’m-going-to-do-something-incredibly-stupid-and-you-can’t-stop-me glare. “That would explain why we have Hondo Ohnaka accosting our troopers about your flavour preferences concerning fruit candies. But the one asking to speak to you is Cad Bane, Marshall Commander.”

The string of curses Fox lets out at that is loud enough to have Mauler stick his head in the com room to ask if everything is alright, and Thorn roll on the floor with howling laughter.

Force curse the day he ever slapped electrocuffs on Hondo Ohnaka, and double-curse the one he threw Cad Bane to the floor with a scissor leg takedown.

#commander fox #commander cody #obi wan kenobi #commander thorn #hondo ohnaka #cad bane #fox is hot shit on the scene alright #cody is already texting the group chat #we need to update our hitlist. two new top spots #wolffe who is loading up his lasercannon: coordinates?#hondo ohnaka is the salivating puppy jumping around foxs feet for attention and cad bane is the black cat looming over his shoulder creepily #they take great issue with foxs work schedule #hondo makes this known verbally and also by smuggling stabby new sedatives and top of the shelf bedding #bane makes it known by assassinating the senator he saw make fox carry his bags through the senate for two days #YOU KIDNAP CHILDREN fox cries HOW IS THIS WHERE YOU DRAW THE LINE #i got paid to kidnap those children bane says simply #fox enters the scream closet #corries think this is the best thing since hot chocolate - better arguably bc they dont get to have hot chocolate really #cody wolffe bly and ponds think this is the worst thing ever in the history of the galaxy #cody has to be restrained from physically attacking cad bane when he asks if he thinks fox likes silk against his skin #fox thinks this is all incredibly unfair #I DON’T EVEN FLIRT WITH THEM I’M NOT KRIFFING KENOBI he wails #I JUST ARRESTED THEM LIKE ONE TIME #none of this can ever reach rex fox realizes in a cold sweat #or alpha-17 #fix doesnt wear the fuzzy socks to sleep. HE DOESNT

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bruh-myguy-what · 7 months ago

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Hello! Could I possibly ask for a Echo/reader (Gn)

Setting could be 79’s maybe some angst with someone calling out echos “missing parts” after he rejects their advancements, and he feels a bit dejected about it. The reader (after insulting the other person) would take him back to the Marauder and comforts him (it can be smut or fluff either is fine)

Thank you! Have a nice day <3

He's More Than That***

Pairing: Echo x GN!Reader Warnings: Smut (my first so you must forgive any issues), Twi'lek woman being mean to our beautiful cyber-clone, cursing, filthy nonsense at some point, oral (Echo receiving), intercourse/sex, fluff Word Count: 5K Summary: Hunter, Wrecker and Echo waned a temporary reprieve from their constant stay in the Mauarder and decided you should be their babysitter for the night at 79's. Reluctantly you join and overhear a conversation Echo had with a Twi'lek who doesn't seem to take being rejected by him very well. After defending him and convincing him he deserves more, he shows you exactly what you deserve from him. A/N: When you requested this, anon I absolutely had just admitted- the same day!- that I was basically now an Echo girlie. I hadn't ever really noticed how adorable he was or how much I actually loved him until after the finale. Like I've always loved him, but I was never a girlie until now and now I simp. Also, I've never really written GN or smut so the two together really threw me for a loop lol so I hope this is alright for you! I do really appreciate you sending in a request, feel free to send in whenever you'd like!

Requests are open if you have anything you'd like to send in!

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The atmosphere of 79's was as smoky and dingy as ever, the blue/green lights of the neons hanging around illuminating faces and bodies as they moved about the bar. It hadn't been your idea to be here tonight, usually opting to stay back on the Marauder with Tech and Crosshair for the sake of serenity, but when the other three boys begged you to come along so that they have a designated babysitter who wouldn't get wasted, you couldn't deny them. Hunter wanted to get away from the ship to what he labeled "loosen up" which you knew meant he needed to get laid before the stress made him strangle his brothers. Wrecker wanted to drink some regs under the table and joke about how 99 was better in every aspect while listening to good music.

Echo, on the other hand, didn't give you a reason why he decided to join in on the outing. It wasn't his usual scene. Not anymore, anyway. As far as you were aware he also preferred the relaxed atmosphere of the ship; the two of you spending your time playing a game or watching a bad holomovie you'd downloaded on one of the datapads the Batch kept aboard for entertainment. It wasn't really like him to want to drink all that much, not since he joined Clone Force 99. He'd told you a few stories of him and his twin, Fives, trying to pick up a few women here and there while hanging around the clone bar back in the day but you never thought you'd actually see him here.

You peeked to the corner of the club, seeing Hunter cozied up with a pretty green Twi'lek woman- her legs draping over his lap as he kissed along her neck. At least he'd be less snappy on your next mission. Then you heard Wrecker laughing boisterously over the music as some reg tapped out, his squad mates dragging him away from the table. He'd be content too and it's almost as if you could already hear him hollering at Crosshair to regale his win over the regs. Resting your eyes back on the pale clone sitting at the bar independently, you watched from across the hazy atmosphere wondering if you should approach him or leave him to his thoughts.

You and Echo had a relatively close relationship. His reserved yet courageous demeanor was always something you had admired about him, and whenever he'd joined 99, you were among the first to buddy up with him. You knew exactly how it'd felt not to be "one of the brothers", even with how close you'd become with the Batch. So, it seemed easy for the two of you to cling to that shared understanding. You felt a smile reaching your lips at some of the memories you'd shared with Echo, a familiar ache settling in your chest and you determined that joining him at the bar was the best idea- even if not for him, but for yourself.

You made sure to clock him in the spot he was settled in before tearing your eyes away and descending the stairs to the main floor, losing sight of him through the dense crowd. Weaving through, apologizing to a few couples who were dancing or going about their "business" on the floor, you managed to emerge from the mass of people to find an empty bar stool- entirely devoid of your companion.

"What the-" you muttered to yourself under the loud music, "He was just here." Swiping a glance up and down the span of the bar, the friendly sight of a pale clone adorned by blue neons captured your attention. He seemed to be speaking to someone, though you couldn't quite see who it was from your current position so you stepped up closer to casually join the conversation when you overheard Echo decline whatever they had offered.

Curiosity got the better of you and instead of being a good friend, leaving the man alone to hopefully find some solace for the night, you stood just close enough to eavesdrop a little more. "I appreciate the sentiment, and you're stunning, don't get me wrong." His voice was as sweet as ever, a little solemn you could tell, but only if you knew him well enough.

Was she really all that pretty? Were Twi'leks the type of person Echo was into? Against your better judgment, you leaned forward onto the bar to glimpse the woman he had complimented, and your heart sank at how her pretty eyes glimmered against the neon lights.

Then you heard her laughter. It sounded as if she were laughing… at him. "Oh, honey," her accented voice cut through the music with its patronizing tone. "You can't honestly be refusing me when you look like," and you watched as her pretty eyes scanned the clone before her, gesturing lazily with her manicured hand, "that."

Maybe you'd heard her wrong. You'd definitely heard her wrong… right? There was no way in the galaxy that she was insulting him about his looks just because he told her no… right?

Echo stammered in shock, momentarily caught off-guard by her comment. It wasn't as if he'd not been used to people making remarks about his… unmistakable condition. He just hadn't anticipated the Twi'lek to be so hostile at his decline. "Well, I-"

"I mean, seriously? Look at you, you're a mangled mess." She let out an irked breath as if she were, suddenly, too good for the current conversation. You noticed her lean away from Echo, surveying the rest of the room full of clones, "I bet you don't even have all of the right parts to please anyone anymore, do you droid?" The Twi'lek's snide grin as she huffed out another laugh made your blood boil.

Droid?

Did she actually have the audacity to call a man of war, who kept her safe from the rising Separatist threats, a droid? She couldn't even begin to understand the horrors of war Echo had seen.

You heard a disparaging laugh bubble up from your friend, noting how his shoulders sank only a fraction, head inclining to the cup in his hand. His back had been facing you, turned completely to the attention of the Twi'lek in front of him, so you couldn't entirely make out his expression- though you'd felt as if you'd known him well enough to imagine the rueful smile etching his features about now. "Ah, yeah," he breathed with a soft, somber chuckle, "I guess I am a freak at this point, eh?"

"It isn't about that anyway," you finally chimed over his shoulder.

Echo's eyes widened at your raised voice, his hurried voice muttering your name in surprise. "What are you doing?" His brown eyes glanced between you and the Twi'lek nervously as you walked around to place yourself between the two of them.

"I don't think he'd have trouble pleasing anyone that had the decency to see past a few war scars. But clearly, that isn't you, you'd only be a waste of his time." The knuckles of your fingers began to ache because of your clenched fists and only at Echo's gentle touch did you relax.

The soft voice you'd come to rely on whispered past the music into your ear, "Cyare, please, it's not that big of a deal, really." Though his tone was even you could tell he'd been embarrassed that you'd overheard the conversation.

"It is though, Echo. You don't deserve to be spoken to that way just because you don't want to whore around for the night." You defended sharply, throwing a look back at him then quickly pinning the Twi'lek to her spot once more. "He has plenty of satisfying features, I'll have you know. He's funny, loyal, protective. He loves his brothers fiercely. He doesn't shy away in the face of danger. He's the first to answer when help is needed, he's reliable, and a wonderful man who deserves more than what most people give him."

Condescending giggles rippled over her pink lips as she covered them, a manner of mischievous glee sparkling in her eyes as she watched the protective display. "You defend him as if you two fuck."

A burn crept up your neck and into your cheeks at the allegation but you couldn't slow your words quickly enough before you said, "I'd be damn lucky if we did."

Echo's grip on your arm flexed at your statement, tentatively pulling you back toward him to de-escalate the rising frustration in you. "Cyare, maybe that's enough." He whispered again.

"You two are cute. No wonder he didn't want to sleep with me. Whatever," the Twi'lek waved you off noncommittally, then pushed herself off of the bar. "There are other handsome men around who need my attention." And with a subtle flip of her lekku, she merged with the swaying crowd.

Frustration simmered beneath your surface as you watched her disappear, more nasty remarks popping into your mind after the confrontation was over. "Stupid, nasty-"

"Cyar'ika," Echo's warm voice broke your hostility, his fingers raising your chin to meet his eyes, "what was all that about?" The pale brown hues narrowed in concern as if you had just been in a serious altercation on his behalf and were injured in some way. "It's not like that doesn't happen all the time, what with the regs calling us defective," his laughter dying as he noticed your soured expression.

You crossed your arms over your chest indignantly, "Just because people insult you, Echo, doesn't mean it's okay. You don't deserve to be treated that way. By anyone." The reassuring brush of his hand- passing from your chin to your shoulder- made you even more upset as if he were okay with being so dehumanized by someone. You pushed his hand away, not because you were offended by his touch- far from it- but because you needed him to take your words to heart. "And stop with the Mando'a, you know I don't understand what you're saying. I'm being serious right now, ya know? You're not a droid. You're you. You're Echo."

The slight tilt of his head made your heart lock up as he smiled at you. He didn't say anything, he just stood there, the pale brown of his eyes highlighted by greens and blues from the bar. It was something you two often did, communicate with just a few looks, something that Crosshair had hissed and griped about, witnessing it on multiple occasions. As the two of you stood there silently for a moment, you began to notice his smile shift and the color of his cheeks showed a little darker. "A-About what you said to her-"

Your entire world came raging back, the music suddenly too loud for you to think properly. "O-Oh right! The...uh-"

"F-Feeling lucky if the two of us-"

You hummed in agreement, with his sentence, not your earlier sentiment. Not that if you thought about it long enough you would've disagreed with your truthfulness brought on by impulse. In fact, you had thought about it quite a lot since meeting the Arc Trooper. You couldn't help yourself, really… he was quite literally amazing at nearly everything he did. He was fluid on the battlefield, quick to make decisions, soft, and compassionate when someone needed comforting. He walked around as if the horrors of his dreams didn't haunt him, opting instead to care even more for those around him. Echo was a man of honor and you marveled at how he carries himself. Not to mention being in close quarters with him, or any of the Batch really, only heightened your ever-growing desire toward him. It was practically inescapable to see someone either in their blacks, partially dressed, or completely naked while on the Marauder. You had seen Hunter and Wrecker shirtless on more than a few occasions and even once seen Tech remove his blacks to use the fresher, and nothing was really wrong with any of those instances. Though the one that lingered in your mind, that just kept nagging at you when you were particularly desperate to reach out and have his pale hand touch you, was when you'd walked in on Echo after he'd finished in the sonic. You thought Crosshair had been the last one to use the fresher and hadn't seen anyone else take a turn, but when you pressed the button revealing the cybernetic clone with just a towel hanging around his waist you froze. You could've acted normal about it, muttering an apology and turning around but you'd only stood there floundering.

And that was how you reacted in this very same instance- dumbstruck and speechless- as your cheeks and ears burned desperately.

Clearing his throat, jolting your attention back to his face, Echo rubbed the back of his neck bashfully. "Well, we can just forget about it. I'm sure it seriously threw her off when you said that, so that was a good tactic." He joked kindheartedly, eyes closing in that familiar charming, laid-back smile of his.

He honestly thought you were joking. Or just trying to defend him by saying anything that sounded good.

Maybe that was okay.

Maybe you could get away with not making anything awkward between the two of you. Maybe he saw how anxiously you reacted when he brought it back up and was gracious enough to drop it for your sake.

But was that fair?...

He deserved to know how handsome he was, just as much as any of his brothers- 99 or otherwise.

"Besides, like she said- whether it was meant as an insult or not- I'm a mangled mess. We can't have you wasting your good looks on me, now can we?" Echo tapped the tip of your chin with his hand gently, winking mirthfully at you.

He was being serious.

He didn't have any clue how desperate you were some nights to call out to him. Echo genuinely thought he was unwanted and he harbored it like a man devised for loneliness.

Never reciprocating his humor or obliging him in his self-deprecation, you remained stern, eyes locked with his handsome pale face. "I would fuck you right now in the middle of 79's if I knew we wouldn't get banned from the only clone bar on Coruscant."

Disbelief filled the clone's expression, eyes dilated to the size of Tech's goggles, his cheeks flushing a red bright enough to rival the neon lights. It was a terrifying leap to take, conveying these tight-lipped secrets you'd been carefully preserving but if it made Echo understand that he was just as desirable as any other man- clone, Jedi, or otherwise- then you'd shout it at every single person in the bar tonight. Your name fell from his lips in an airy exhale, frantically his eyes searched for any sign of banter or sarcasm but he was only met with decisiveness in your returning stare. "You..." he breathed again, deliberately slowing his racing heart, "You're being serious." At your resolute nod, brows furrowed and eyes stern, Echo looked down at himself critically. "B-But, I-"

"Do I need to prove it to you?" you provoked.

Echo's bewildered stare snapped back to your face, brows raised high in astonishment. "Pro-Prove it?"

Again you nodded with resolve. "You deserve it just as much as Hunter. I'll prove it to you right-" and before you could finish your sentence you were yanked forward away from the bar, weaving through the crowd. Echo's pale hand gripping your upper arm tightly enough not to lose you amongst the moving bodies. Confused but curious, you followed his lead.

Pulled to one of the single restrooms you felt yourself being slung inside, Echo behind you now, locking the door. The dingy lights were also a staple in the small room, the most of the illumination coming from the neon lights outside the high window. "Echo, what in the galaxy-"

"Say it again." His voice rushed as you turned to meet his urgent but dangerously narrowed eyes, the low tone startling you.

You knew he was referring to what you had said by the bar, but which part, in particular, left you timid to respond. "Say what again?" You finally managed, anxiously fiddling with a loose string on your pants.

The clone across the room looked positively possessed as he took only a single step toward you. "Tell me you want me." Echo pressed, the gravel to his voice making you shiver. "Please," his whispered demand nearly lost to the bass rumbling the walls.

This was certainly not where you had envisioned the night to go when you agreed to come out with your squad mates, but as you took a breath, you dove right into the dream. "I want you, Echo." And with the speed of an Arc Trooper, the man descended on you, pressing you into the wall. His body crowded around you, leaving no room to breathe in anything but him as his lips furiously pursued yours. Though he seemed desperate in his actions, there was a hesitation you felt in him. He was leaning against the wall by his arms, keeping himself just a hair's breadth away, afraid to touch you. Pulling back enough to speak against his lips, your hand found his cheek. "Touch me, Echo, please," your own plea a whisper.

His breath shook against your mouth as he faltered, "I-I'm afraid of ruining this…" His sincerity was the fear of a desolate man. "It's been so long… way before I looked-"

Reaching up beside you where his arms lay against the wall, gently guiding his hand and scomp-link to your body. "You can't ruin anything for me, I promise. I've been wanting this for so long, just touch me." A breathy exhale that sounded like a soft chuckle washed over your face at himself and to keep him from overthinking anymore you surged forward to press yourself against him fully- lips connecting.

The kiss you shared this time, was less desperate and hasty, instead imbued with passion and certainty as your tongue came out to greet his bottom lip. Mandalorian curses escaped under Echo's breath, voice trembling as he did, welcoming the dance you challenged. "I can't believe you want me… How could you want me?" Disbelief greeted you as you kissed him again trying somehow to get your affections across.

"How could I not?" Your simple reply caused him to look at you squarely, again searching your face as if he could find some hint of sarcasm or deception- but he found none. With a warm smile, you started unstrapping your armored chest piece and undressing from your standard issue GAR clothes. "Like I told the Twi'lek," you started as you set the clothes on a bar beside you, trying to maintain your composure with intense brown eyes observing you eagerly. "You're loyal, and kind. Funny as hell, adorable when you get embarrassed, charming when you aren't feeling too tired to banter around with me or your brothers," the last one made him chuckle a bit but it died off when the last of your clothes fell away and you stepped back up to him. "And no matter what's going on down here," you glanced down to where his codpiece sat, "I know you'll satisfy me completely."

"Kriff..." Echo stammered softly at the warmth of your hands reaching to unclasp his armor, a questioning look in your eyes. He grinned timidly, "I didn't think at this point you'd even feel the need to ask, cyare," to which you went at undressing him, yourself. Upon lowering yourself to the floor to undress his lower half, even with him imploring you to not get on the bathroom floor for him, you marveled when his blacks were pulled past his thighs.

"Well, color me surprised," your wistful voice made the clone groan in embarrassment as he covered his mouth with his hand, looking away bashfully. "Looks like you won't be disappointing anyone, will you, Echo?" You teased, glancing between the adorably sheepish look on his face and the solid cock that greeted you. Nothing amiss whatsoever. How could he be so insecure when he harbored this under his blacks?

Echo shifted on his robotic legs, anxiously, "There's no need for the commentary, cyar'ika," he complained, his voice deeper than usual as he stole glances at you between his legs as if he were caught watching something he shouldn't.

Smirking, you shrugged nonchalantly up at him, "Guess I'll just have to keep my mouth busy then." Your tongue splayed out over your bottom lip to experimentally lick at the head of his cock, reveling in the shaking gasp that escaped the clone.

"Oooh, k-kriff," Echo groaned helplessly, eyes screwing shut at the feeling blitzing through him like a barrage of blaster fire. The way his husky voice stretched out your name made your body ache for his touch.

You wanted more.

All of it.

All of him.

Your tongue danced along from the base to the tip a few times, placing delicate kisses here and there over his pale skin. It was sweet, watching him enjoy himself with such a small form of affection. The way his eyes fluttered every time your tongue swiped over the tip, how his teeth found purchase on the skin of his bottom lip to keep himself from making too many sounds. "Y-You gotta stop t-teasing me, mesh'la, please..." Echo breathed desperately, hand falling to the back of your head.

"Please, what, handsome?" The naïveté in your tone betrayed the way your eyes twinkled dangerously up at him and made him groan again, hand coming around to thumb your bottom lip, mesmerized by you.

"Please suck my cock." Desire finally blossomed in his eyes, the adorable timidness dissipating and giving way to a man who hungered for more. "I want to feel your mouth around me… I've wanted that for so long."

The admission surprised you, but you couldn't focus on it for too long before you acquiesced and took his cock into your mouth as far as you could before he hit the back of your throat. Echo choked out a moan at your motion, feeling the way your mouth warmed his skin, your tongue lapping around him. "S-So long… oooh, kriff. Wanted to feel your pretty mouth suck me off."

The filth murmuring from his pale lips was only fueling your lust as you hollowed your cheeks and started to bob your head back and forth on him. "I-I can't believe this isn't one of my-my dreams, oh fuck," Echo whispered as he looked down to meet your gaze, groaning at the hazy look in your eyes and whispering an astounded 'look at you' as his hand pressed into the back of your head. His hips thrust, against his better judgment, shoving himself further into your throat provoking a moan from the both of you simultaneously. Tears pricked the corners of your eyes as you relaxed, allowing him to fuck into your mouth at his leisure, the sounds he makes stirring you up more.

You pull back to catch your breath, a string of drool trailing from your tongue to his soaked cock. "You've dreamed of me sucking your dick, have you?"

"I've dreamed of many sinful things concerning you, cyare." Echo's voice was solid as he pulled you up by your arm, crushing his mouth to yours in a searing kiss. His tongue tasted yours for a moment, scomp pressing into your lower back so you were flush with him. The large expanse of his hand explored your body, mapping every scar and dip of skin to commit to his memory. "Your body is even better than I could've fantasized it; much softer, stronger." He whispered against your neck, placing warm open-mouthed kisses along it.

"Echo," you breathed out his name, his mouth dizzying you. "Show me what you've dreamed… I want to know."

The chuckle that escaped through his lips and fell over your skin sounded dangerous as if you asked him to show you his crimes. "Bend over for me then," the drawl of your name spurred a whine from you that made him grin and you spun around in his arms to place your hands steadily against the bar drilled into the wall. "Kriff, and I thought the sight of you sucking my dick was going to make me cum..." Echo muttered from behind you, his hand brushing down the curve of your spine, admiring the way goosebumps chased after his fingertips. "This view is sure to ruin me."

"Echo, please," you whined over your shoulder at him. The sudden change in power lost on you as you shifted your hips back to meet his, yearning for some sort of relief. Teasing him had done a number on both of you and you needed him to relieve you somehow.

"Looks like I can't deny how badly you want me now, can I, cyar'ika?" The cybernetic clone chuckled from behind you, leaning his tall body over your back to whisper, "Not when you beg for my dick like that." The warmth of his breath tickled the back of your neck and you moaned at the feeling. Without any more taunting, Echo finally leaned away from you to watch himself slip inside of you. "Shit… look at how you take me," he sounded nearly astonished by how his cock disappeared inside, appreciating the sight before him- second only to how you choked his dick.

"Stars, Echo," you moaned desperately, wincing at the stretch of him inside of you, panting as you took more as he pushed deeper inside. "M-More, please, fuck me Echo, please."

"Greedy, aren't you," Echo teased lightheartedly, chuckling at how you begged for him to take you. He seemed to be enjoying himself as he sank into you fully, his typical jovial attitude returning. It wasn't even as if he were teasing you in an expected sexy way. He was teasing you as if he caught you with your hand in the ration box, looking to take extras. The feeling of his cock dragging inside of you as he gradually pulled out to just the tip and then just as slowly pushed himself back in nearly made you sob at the burning fixation for him to shatter you. "I love feeling you like this. I can't believe you want this as much as I do. Kriff, you are stunning. Everything you do floors me." You continually whined his name as he spoke, moving in and out of you at an agonizingly slow pace then you felt his hand brush up your back and grip your shoulder tightly as if bracing himself. "You're the reason I said no to the Twi'lek. I just want this, only this," he moaned as he pulled out one last time before stopping, whispering, "Only you," then hammering into you at a fracturing pace.

"Oh fuck, Echo!"

"That's it," Echo praised in his warm encouraging tone, your name falling from his lips like a tribute as he drives his cock into you over and over until you were almost screaming. His stamina was devastating, the force behind his thrusts calamitous as your body rocked against his. "What a breathtaking sight you are taking me like this, kriffing hells. I'm gonna cum," Echo stammered as his hips faltered narrowly.

You'd hardly been able to process anything he'd been saying, too deafened by the passion though you felt his hips shift a bit, slowing their pace and you begged, "Inside, inside please."

"Maker, y-you can't say it l-like that," Echo chided with a choked moan, "I-I," and with a shocked gasp, Echo's hips stilled as they pressed into you. The Mandalorian praises that intermingled with your name, the way his mouth fell to your shoulder, leaving open-mouthed kisses, everything coalesced to a white flash shooting through your body. A sob of his name reverberated off of the bathroom walls, echoing around the two of you as your release hit you. The force seemed to hit your knees and you faltered on your feet but were caught quickly by Echo's scomp-link arm, reeling you back into him.

"Careful there," the smile in his voice evident as he nosed at your temple, pressing a few gentle kisses along your cheek. "Just relax, I gotcha." The gentleness of his touches weaved around you, lulling you against his firm body and the mechanical parts cool against your hot skin. "Sorry, I know some of the pieces might be prodding you." He winced at the thought abruptly.

You shook your head in response, steadying yourself against him by wrapping your arms around his neck and nuzzling closer. "Perfect… You're cool, it feels good, don't move."

Echo was once again left silent by your unconditional favor of all of him. "You continually amaze me," his chuckle affectionate as he hugged you closer. "Now, let's get dressed and get out of this filthy place. I've been thinking about another holomovie we could watch."

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changes · 1 year ago

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Friday, September 8th, 2023

🌟 New

We’ve rolled out dashboard tab configuration options to everyone. We’re still working on adding the ability to change the default tab between Following and For You. Also, if you were in the experiment and had enabled certain tabs, like Popular Reblogs and Blog Subs, please note that those settings have moved back to the Tumblr Labs settings, instead of being configurable options in the new config screen.

We’ve deployed some performance and stability improvements for browsing feeds through the site, including the ability to truly handle endless scrolling. If you disabled endless scrolling in your dashboard preferences on web because it was laggy, give it another try! If you disabled it because you like paged browsing better, keep on keeping on! You’ll still benefit from these improvements.

We’re working on improving search across Tumblr, and one of our latest experiments is to try surfacing posts in search results based on image recognition. If you search for something on Tumblr and it returns a bunch of images that aren’t actually related to what you searched for, and have no other text or tags to indicate why you’re seeing it, please send us some feedback via Support about it, providing the search term you used and what posts didn’t make sense.

In the post editor on web, you can now choose to convert a link block down to an inline text link if you’d like, via the meatball menu on the link block that’s generated when you paste a link.

We’re shortening the ask button label maximum length to 26 characters, and providing better error messages when exceeding that limit.

Replies/reblogs/likes from blogs that have blocked the author, or the author has blocked, will no longer appear in the notes view on your posts for anyone.

We’re now filtering asks and submissions from blogs that have blocked the receiver.

🛠 Fixed

We fixed an issue on the Following and For You tabs that was sometimes causing it to take 10+ seconds to load subsequent pages as you scroll.

In the post editor on web, we’ve fixed a variety of issues with copying and pasting and selecting text.

Clicking to like a post while logged out, and then logging in, now brings you back to the post, instead of bringing you to Explore.

When uploading media in the post editor on the web, the “Post” button stays disabled until the media finishes uploading.

Removing a reblog or reply from the notes on your post removes the associated activity item as well.

Folks can no longer mention blogs that they’ve blocked or are blocked by — this was already covered in most circumstances, but we’ve fixed a few rare cases that have popped up where people have gotten around it.

🚧 Ongoing

Nothing to report here today.

🌱 Upcoming

Nothing to report here today.

Experiencing an issue? File a Support Request and we’ll get back to you as soon as we can!

Want to share your feedback about something? Check out our Work in Progress blog and start a discussion with the community.

#tumblr update

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cyberclouddream · 1 month ago

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12th House Musing

The 12H represents the trap of infinity. The fact that something is boundless makes it restrictive. Everything must have opportunity to settle and persevere. The true nature of our soul and existence is actually not possible to actualize in this material state of being.

Try to conceptualize something unbound by physics…exactly. Just like it’s impossible to perceive not existing outside of considering erasure of memories related to you (this conscious existence is literally just a set of memories. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist, we just don’t have the instruments to see beyond patterns.

You know how they say the brain thrives off repetition? It’s because organic life is based on sequences. Nothing in this life can fall outside of rules. And the 12th house represents beyond rules that we can imagine. That’s why it feels like a prison. It’s like you being in a dark world and you’re looking at q white hole of pure potential, but it’s hard to conceptualize it’s purpose.

This hole/whole is our soul, and this beautiful endless cycle of being we’re in. We’re trying to understand that essence of what’s going on in this house not by comparing it to other things but…acceptance. Like Aries 12H, they suppress their desire to act impulsively/instinctual to stabilize and secure what we started (Taurus 1H). This is because the value and goal is to connect with something different, to comprehend duality (Gemini 3H). Something can only be different than you if it has something similar to you, and vice versa. What we all have in common is being able to be perceived based on a factor.

Higher dimensional beings can always perceive us because they live in less congruent forms of infinity/existence, but we can’t perceive them unless we loosen our grip on reality and accept not accepting, accepting nothingness and everything at the same time. Which gets you to the state of the meaning of everything is not having meaning. It’s like if you knocked over of box of cereal, do you typically think that where the fallen pieces landed have a specific and inherent meaning? Unless you’re a psychic or oracle, no. We typically don’t think bout things like why a certain rock we accidentally displaced had to fall here and not a centimeter left, or why this particular drop of milk landed here when you were pouring your milk.

That’s our existence: everything just is and doesn’t have to be complex. The material world is complex and the nonmaterial is nonlinear, it’s not complex because everything is possible in infinity, meaning you always have a simple and easy answer. Intuition is based off tapping into this awareness of the deep, innate correlation and interconnectedness of all and everything.

You have to accept the placement of the 12H as in realizing it’s purpose is it’s existence itself, not labels or rules or structures or weights on your shoulder. Like Scorpio 12H tends to have a hard time understanding the purpose of transformation. They’re so stuck on meaning that they don’t get they actually have to be willing to change. Sagittarius comes after Scorpio, meaning it seeks new meaning after profound transformations. It’s like Scorpio is an explosion, disrupting any weaknesses, and Sagittarius is whatever shoots from that explosion into a new area, comprehending the significance of difference and opposition, which is all unified anyway.

The 12th house is what you need to master the potential of because it affects how you maneuver in every way in your life. Like, make life feel like you’re actually creating your life, not reacting to it. No, not in the “you’re god” sense but that you are in control of how you let things have control over your responses. Like Virgo 12H, they tend to escape what they need to refine, preferring to stay in what makes them socially comfortable, resisting a lesson they were supposed to master in their early or past life.

Like for Virgo 12H, they found it hard to feel useful, component, or in control, which leads to chronic overthinking and guilt. They may have had a hard time accepting imperfection in themselves or others, but avoid confronting those things directly. They may not like telling others how they truly feel when they’re bothered, or have trouble acknowledging flaws in themselves effectively. They may have a hard time with accountability or addressing things that aren’t really working but are convenient. They may ignore their health or habits.

#astrology #astrology observations #astro notes #astro community #astro observations #astrology signs #12th house #twelfth house

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dopaminetreasurehoard · 1 year ago

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Love Crowley's husband energy in this scene and I have to talk about this little moment.

I know people like the idea of a jealous or possessive partner, and label this moment as such. And I love the humor of that idea here.

But to be fair, I actually think Crowley isn't being jealous in this moment. For all that he can get worked up, he is cool as a cucumber in the face of very stressful situations. (Ex. Furfur threatening Crowley after the magic act before he knew that Aziraphale would trick Furfur into using the wrong "evidence", just dismissing the guy out of hand like he's nothing.)

According to Brené Brown, jealousy happens when we're afraid of something important being taken from us, when we're afraid that our connection with someone will be lost in favor of someone else.

It seems out of character for Crowley to feel threatened by a random mortal approaching Aziraphale. His reaction to the man sitting there in the pub would instead seem to be annoyance. He's trying to have "us time" with his angel and here comes this dude, delaying the conversation they're there to have.

His "hello" is just so "where did you come from and how do we get you to leave?"

He even used that line "You astonish me" in that posh voice he gets when he's disinterested or trying to put someone off. Which I love, btw.

I can just picture him in the regency period, posing as upper class a la Byron, using that tone to depress the pretensions of toadeaters.

Anyone who prefers to interpret it as adorably, harmlessly jealous, I'm not trying to yuck your yum. Just making my own observations because I was trying to figure out why it didn't feel like jealousy to me.

As for possessiveness, which is based on a lack of trust in your partner and a need for control over them disguised as love, that doesn't feel like Crowley either.

#good omens 2 #aziraphale #good omens #michael sheen #david tennant #anthony j crowley #crowley #ineffable husbands

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thatfrailsoul · 27 days ago

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– On a day I've found me

tarot pick a pile reading ( → 1, 2, 3 )

pictures from pinterest → one, two, three

Even in the darkest and loneliest days of our life... There is still something within us. Something that we don't feel so much, don't remember or perhaps don't even know to have within ourselves... But that is still so powerful. Enough to gently push and guide us through every obstacle, through every challenge, through every painful or confusing step. There is something within us that is worth it. That makes it worth it to believe in ourselves, to survive, to still be here and to be alive. Our own treasure, our own and true core where is hidden all the magic of our soul. Are we aware of it or not.

This is our second reading from the Divinatory Jukebox inspired by the song "A Brand New Day", by BTS ( V and J-Hope) and Zara Larsson!(˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶) Like with the first reading (that you can find here ♡), this one too was guided by my cards that "set the tone", giving me advice on how to listen to this song, from which perspective, and what it wants to tell us in this period of our lives.

P.s. If you would like to see a reading inspired by your suggested song, you can learn more about how to partecipate here!♡↓

♪♡♪ Divinatory Jukebox ♪♡♪

Slow down for a moment. Give your conscious mind a moment of rest, allow it to step back. And listen to your subconscious mind, to that inner voice, to the intuition that is guiding you to the pile in which your message hides.

P.s. I was considering doing some extended versions of our readings, a sort of add-on through which we will look even deeper and in more detail at the situation. A lot of you gave me your support on this, so I wanted to ask you more about what might be comfortable for you in case of purchasing one day an extended reading!♡ For example, would you prefer to have access to only one pile of your choice (and in case you were called to more than one pile in the original reading you would need too pay again for another one) or to receive all of them at once and with a single purchase?

Thank you for letting me know!♡

—

– Pile One,

the five of wands, the hierophant, the temperance, the six of cups

When the voices get louder, when the words become meaner, the truth is overtaken by the lies... When you stand alone on the first line, protecting with your own back the ones that are being pressured or judged... There is that one little flame, that ignites inside you. That pushes you forward, chest full and eyes on the target. Ready to fight if it is needed, ready to raise your own voice if they don't hear the one of their chosen victim.

Impulsiveness, bad temper, tendency to not mind your own business, somehow even selfishness and desire to make it all about yourself... It can be labelled in so many ways by those for which it is so inconvenient that you are not afraid of them. For those that know too well that one day or another, that same power can be used to protect you from their influence and "guidance". Because although they really do everything to convince you of it, this power and this need to speak up does not come from something bad, from indiscipline or ungratefulness for those that are trying to guide you by so lovingly cutting out what makes you different from what they want or are used to... It actually comes from the deep and profound love. Your love towards your own self, towards what makes you - you. A love that, after so many years of judgment and punishments... you just can't bring yourself so easily to use. And that has as the only way of manifesting - the protection of others that are being treated so painfully similarly to you. That are being silenced and limited by the dreams, desires, and plans of others. And that your subconscious, so beaten up and tired by how many times it has happened in your own life, just can't look at without doing nothing, without trying to save at least others, while you remain to suffer in a life that has nothing of what you like.

Bad intentions, manipulation, desire to keep you the way it is more convenient to them, or just a genuine and scarier conviction and trust in what they do or say... Those around you always had something to say about your behaviour, about your difficulty in following the rules, in respecting the limits, in "trusting" and accepting as yours the decisions or opinions of others... Every time you made a step in a sliglthy different direction, that path was fast destroyed right in front of your eyes. The pain, mistakes or struggles of others so easily used to scare you, to push you back in line. There was never a chance to think differently, to desire things or to realize them in your life without feeling guilty, like you are doing something that you shouldn't, like your one little desire of something else can really crush the whole world in front of their eyes... But those words and hysteria never came alone. They were always so well glazed with concepts like love, wanting the best for you, caring for you and for your life. And tiny bit after another, it simply grew on you. On you that were too tired to fight back every single time just to feel like the one attacking others, the one that is ruining your or their lives...

You became more silent and more docile, more in line with what they wanted or needed. A perfect vessel for all their goals and dreams... And it gave you only a life that is miserable. So peaceful at first sight, but so meaningless for your own heart. A life that you are not really living, but merely following based on their rules. While your mind so desperately tries to live its dreams through others, through their battles, through their creations that you so greedily and secretly consume.

But was it really worth it? Now that you are gorwing up, facing this new phase in your life all on your own... Does it seems like it was worth it? Does it really seem like the perfect end? For your heart it surely doesn't. Not for the one that you are feeling less and less, becoming numb to this life that you are not ready or capable to face. Not for a heart that is so confused and lost, but also so fearful and trembling every single time the ones of the past speak up, with their guidance and advices that are really only judgment and hurtful words...

You relied for so long on your mind that was so good at shutting everything down and following their commands, but now it is really time to switch things up. To give the control to your heart, and let your consumed mind rest, as you take a step back and begin from the very start. From when you were too little and too loving to go against those by your side. From when you asked yourself to not speak up for the first time.

Because as impossible or too late as it might seem, but there is still time and possibilities for you to make things really work in your life. You can still pursue your desires and those passions that you threw away in the past. You can still begin from scratch, try again those things in which you failed but doing them differently, as you think it would be better now. Or you can choose completely different paths. You can do what you wanted and they never considered worth it. You can try and even make mistakes, but also learn from them and at least have your own and true experience. You can live like you always were supposed to, and not like they programmed you to. You can do it, even if they will still judge you. Even if they will still scream at you or ignore you. You can do it because all this time that you followed their guidance and remained silent, there was still and always a part of you that felt that anger, that frustration, that need to scream at them back. And the fact that you still felt it, that you still feel it now... Is all that you need to know that you are alive. That those passions, and dreams, and what makes you unique, no matter if you know what is it or still need to discover it, they are still all here. They never had been destroyed like you thought, they were just asleep, awaiting the moment you will feel ready to speak. To speak you truth, your own opinions. To be louder than their lies or impositions. To protect yourself so courageously, like you always did with others. To not allow your fear of them, or of the loneliness that they so often promise, to silence you ever again. Because their words will only and ever be just that. They aren't prophecies or accurate predictions of your life. They are just their convictions. And you have now yours. And it is time to speak them up as fiercely as they always did. With the difference that you will never use your voice to hurt and control others, projecting and imposing your convictions on them... But you will only protect yourself and pretend the respect that you deserve. The space and liberty to live the life that you want.

♡ { free guidance | a little thank you } ♡

– Pile Two,

the chariot, the lovers, the strength, the wheel of fortune (all major arcanas!♡)

They feel so heavy. Those steps that you need to do every single day in order to survive. In order to have a chance to overcome these obstacles. In order to have even just the tiniest bit of progress... Your legs feel so damn heavy. There is simply too much pressure, too many fears and doubts weighing on them. And at each step... You really do need the help of others. Their guidance, a little advice, support or just some confirmation that you are going in the right direction, that you will be alright.

They say that as we grow we become more wise, more confident. But you seem to have everything but courage in your heart. The same one that, ironically, used to be so brave and beautifully impulsive in the past. The ones that often lead to mistakes, all those passions and drive, it's true. But for which you still would give so much, just to feel even just a little now, because you would exactly know where to direct them, into what to pour them, where they could help you so much right now.

Because it is not at all easy to feel so vulnerable, so lost and scared. It is not easy to need someone to rely on. To look for them constantly, never really having time to focus the same way on your own self. To feel just more consumed, when the one you found influenced you so much but left alone too soon. In paths that you know nothing about and followed just in search of them. With decisions that you can't even remember how you made, perhaps so blindly trusting the opinion or advice of someone that was by your side back then...

It is frustrating. Truly. To feel the life you are living, creating, working so hard on every single day... Just not right, just not yours. So many things constrating you and your visions. So many rhythms and routines that are different from yours. All around you. So many. That it seems impossible to find a way out of this and something that would truly resonate with you for more than just a phase... If you will even ever be able to understand what is it that your heart wants in the first place.

But... The same way as with your life decisions, you are so quick to trust others with their convictions and descriptions of who and how you are too. You so quickly trust their words and vision of you, embodying it so perfectly that it really does feel true. That you are too volatile, too impulsive, too indecisive. That you know too little your own self. That you don't have your own mind or identity, and feel someone only once you become the copy of others and their soul. No ideas, no desires, no passions. Not even one focus, center, of your life that is not someone that you feel so much love and admiration for. You really do believe all of this about yourself. You really, so naively and even sweetly think that others see your core and true self so well... That you don't realize that all that they consider a lack of something, it is what makes you truly whole.

The liberty to change, to feel and experience so many things. The openness of the mind to look at life from different perspectives, of learning everyday new things about this world... We all have it when we are younger. And no one ever considers it as being weak or inconsistent - we know that it is the most important part of our growth. But so many grow, find the safest spot, and settle in so fastly, forgetting everything, even the fact that they themselves can be more, can bloom more... Not you though. Not when you are so versatile, so open, so genuine, so ready to be inspired by this life. No matter if it is through a story, an idea, a feeling, or someone... You are still learning more, you are still becoming more.

Or at least you could if only you didn't bring your own self down so harshly and so often, following the flow of your inspiration only halfway through, convinced that the powerful enthusiasm, the curiosity and passions that you felt weren't truly yours...

The opinions and expectations of people are really strict and specific nowadays, it is true... But only because someone out there, or even close to you, has them, doesn't mean that you need to slow down and force yourself to settle too. It is too soon for you. You have still so many things to do and feel. So many things to see and explore. You are still a child at heart. So innocent, so easily amazed and in love with all that this world has to offer to your soul. So why should you denigrate and change this part of yourself? Why you should judge or be ashamed of something that, if you saw it in someone else, would have filled you with joy, admiration and love? Why you shouldn't love it and embrace it like those that you envy do with their own souls? Why you should do it for others, when being yourself will never hurt no-one?

It never was infatuation, lack of character and discipline or recklessness. It only was your excitement for people and their ideas, so different from yours, so worthy of being tried and felt on your own skin, learned with your own mind and felt with your whole heart, so you can understand them better and connect with them more. It was just your desire to wander, to explore, to bloom more and more with all the colours of this world. It never was you being doomed. But only you being one of the most free souls.

Your mind will change. Your desires. Your passions. Your pace and the direction you'll be guided to take. And that's okay. You will never be stuck or too close to a trap. You never will be lost, as long as you will embrace the power of your soul to hear the many callings of this world.

♡ { free guidance | a little thank you } ♡

– Pile Three,

the three of wands, the page of pentacles, the two of cups, the world

It is so rare to be able to truly see this world, its negative parts but also the hopeful ones. It is rare to have your eyes that can so easily recognise something that is worthy of appreciation, something that we can and need to be grateful for. Your gaze wanders further, it is not focused only on what is here and now, right by your side... But it foresees so many ways, options, possibilities of how things can become better, allowing you to have something that no one else has. Your faith and hope.

It is not just being too positive, hopeful or delusional. It is not stupid to notice precious details and signs in things that others are so fast to label as the worst in their life. It is a different form of courage and strength. To be able to recognise the difficulties and challenges, but at the same time still respect them for all that they give you, for who they help you to become.

But the suffering voices of others are too hard to ignore, aren't they? It is difficult to feel truly grateful and hopeful when so many by your side are crushed under the pressure of their fears and struggles. Your gaze that never focused just on you can't start doing it now, only for the sake of your own peaceful mind... You can't walk past them, or ignore them every time they pour out their soul to you. They are your family, your loved ones. People that you would like so much to share with your strength and patience for this world.

So you do it. You are doing it already for quite some time. You are your own supporter and guide, that always reminds you of how things can and will become better if you just hold on tight. And you are the strength and hope of others. Always ready to listen to them, to help them let it all out. But also capable of finding in their stories and situations something good, something little but still worthy of keeping on going. Kind words. Positive affirmations. Loving support. Readiness to be there no matter what. You do so much for others, you give them so much guidance and love in hopes that one day they can finally see and feel for themselves that hope and faith for a best life... But it helps them so little, it seems so feeble compared to their strong convictions of how it never will be better, of how there is nothing here to be grateful for, of how believing in something different is for the delusional and weak ones.. And it hurts you. It hurts you deeply. That not only you seem the only one to at least try to enjoy this life a little.... But that it is also considered so wrong, for whatever reason, to not focus for once only on the worst. It is hurting you so so deeply, to the point that you are starting to feel for the first time that your enthusiasm is becoming more silent, your sureness more fragile. You are starting to feel so much like they feel. More hopeless, less convinced, less motivated to do anything. Because perhaps if so many say so... Then it really is so bad, so different from what your heart and mind wanted to believe...

Or perhaps it is just a moment in which the voices of others are a little more heavy, enough to pressure you into believing that the life is really only this. Perhaps it is only you that became a little tired, after spending so much time and energy on others, on helping them out. Perhaps it is only your mind that focused for so long on others and their lives, stopping to look for good things in yours, not warming it anymore with your joy and hope, and letting it become more dark and cold.

Life or this world didn't change, in the grand scheme of things. It's not like in this period everything indeed became much worse and horrendous, erasing every beautiful and worthy thing. And it's not like they were always right in their overwhelming negativity and convictions, and you are the one to only now open your eyes and see it all... Everything remained still balanced as it was, the bad and good stuff, the pain and love, the struggle and the epiphany of freedom and safety that is so dear to our souls. But after spending so much time in their minds and lives... You just became used to their ways to feel and see this world, starting to do the same, judging your more hopeful side exactly like they always did to you before.

But you still are this way. You will always be. You will still and always have that light in you, that love and gratefulness for the things. You just need to reconnect with them. Nourish them a little more now, so they can light up once again and warm your heart.

And to do this there is no need to pick sides, isolate yourself or say goodbye to those that not feel this life the same way as you do. You can still cherish your connections, you can still try to lift them up and give them that strength that they need so much. You can still try to teach them, and you can still love them... Just remember, at the same time, to love yourself a little more. Your own ways, your own perceptions and opinions. Your own needs to be hopeful about this world and what the future holds. Just remember to listen to your own self, before anyone else, your own convictions. Cherish them and trust them more than the ones of other people. Because it is truly a power of yours, to feel so connected to the ways of this world. It is indeed something that will save and help you, now and forever. It will always give you the needed strength or guidance to go through the hardships, it will always show you the right path when you will feel stuck or lost. Just remember to nourish it first. Before fighting or protecting so fiercely the ways of others... Remember to nourish and embrace the ones that are yours. So you can share your light, your love and strength with others, but without consuming or destroying it in the process, leaving your own self alone and in the cold.

♡ { free guidance | a little thank you } ♡

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