#This is about people who don't use tumblr or follow me and don't use tumblr enough for me to be worried about them seeing it
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Thank you for tolerating me at my worst....
We all have our stories and trauma we drag with us. My goal was to show my healing journey and the positive sides of being a "little"
I've been through some insane events this last year, to the point of psychosis.
Luckily, i had this community to help me through it.
Thank you all so much. I can't express how your words and intentions helped me when I felt completely alone and lost within my own mind and body.
I couldn't tell what was real and I felt like the walls around me were closing in and I was the literal joke of the world. It broke me in ways I may never fully recover from.
I'm more than grateful, and I'll share my life with you all to the best of my abilities.
I'm going to embrace my little side more now than ever before without losing my independence. Life is messy, and being innocence brings me an inner peace that nothing can compete with.
I've spoken with so many of you, and i lose track of who I'm messaging, so please don't take it personally. Tumblr has a terrible setup if you have more than 99 messages. It's both a blessing and a curse. Im only one person after all... and I dont like the idea of liking one human over another. Mainly because how I was neglected as a child. I just want things to be as fair as possible.
I care about knowing who I'm messaging so be patient with me. I've met many followers and I like to give everyone a chance, no matter your imperfections or insecurities .. trust me. I'm full of them too. Just know I'm literally not for everyone and that something that kills me sometimes but its life. We all want what we cannot have.
I just wanted to share my thoughts..
I'm not trying to be super serious, but its good to ground ourselves in reality once in a while.
I wish you all the best year yet, I bless your path and all those you care about.
Let's teach people how to be human again. You're literally eternal souls having this temporary experience, so make the most of it ❤️
Blessings to thee for Blessings Are Free 😘💖
Little Fina/Mylee K
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I won't rattle on about every new scan but this one is new and very interesting to me. I used to be unclear on this thinking it was one of the Black Form paintings of 1964. Same year, same format, fits in quite well. I'm still not entirely sure it was not mean to be (who knows really) but it is not numbered as the Tate has catalogued them so we will say it's a stand alone.
Our former scans of this were terrible, a mess of weird looking black and brown and sometimes cropped (it's really confusing when people do that) so now, our new scan here is pretty good and get's the color right, obviously a huge improvement to what I had previously.
This can be kind of typical for paintings in private collections. Museums have reasons to photograph their paintings but individuals don't let these very expensive paintings out much.
This painting appeared at the Paris LVF show and looked beautiful, the scan doesn't capture the gradation and seamlessness of the painting out in the wilds but it's new, good and a representation of how the painting looks now as this is a recent photo.
I'll take it and am glad to have it and I am hoping you guys like it too.
Tumblr seems to be the social media platform that appreciates the dark Rothkos as much as I do, as I have an affinity for his late work when a large number were painted.
The classic Rothko paintings of beautiful colors and great panache have a certain mastery by the mid 50's akin to a a great film director showing what they can do with a camera. I love these too but I feel that the simpler Rothko paintings are refined in a particular way that I find emotionally involving. They are stripped of the lushness he favored and brought to a more austere form. They can be more subtle and certainly they are hard to photograph, but I have a special tenderness for them.
Just a note that you are welcome to reblog this with the credits but without my commentary (Xkit should still do this). However, please don't steal my scans. It's taken me a decade to be in a position to acquire them and people end up stealing them and putting them up without credit and then it's a drag for the everyone involved, including all my followers as it becomes harder to get permission to use them. I do not mean reblogging, of course, that is great and that's what most of you do. Also i absolutely can tell where a scan came from at this point. Me having to track people down to get proper credits on pictures I was allowed to use, is a real drag This may all sound dramatic, but you must remember Rothko's work is still under copyright and must be handled differently than a picture of the Mona Lisa. Thank you
Mark Rothko Untitled, (Plum and Brown) 1964 Oil on canvas 81 X 691/8 inches
Private Collection © 1998 Kate Rothko Prizel & Christopher Rothko / Artists Rights Society (ARS), New York.
donations
#mark rothko#markrothko#rothko#daily rothko#dailyrothko#abstract expressionism#modern art#abstraction#colorfield#ab ex#colorfield painting#mid century
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#WIP#art#vampire hunter d#vhd#Sorry I realize I've neglected the folks that only follow me on tumblr for a while !! 😭😭😭#mmm and sorry to anyone who follows me in different places y'all are probably sick of it (updated at least...)😭😭😭 forgive me 🥹🫶👐#Sorry I tend to focus on one social media at a time -I post the most liberally on my instagram's close friends#.... anyone is free to join it actually just send me a message there if you want ♡ (๑´• ᵕ •ू`๑)#I do want to make drawings that make people think more deeply - to give D the depth that Kikuchi doesn't allow us hahaha#Mmm.... I like some D jesus allegory 🤤 It kinda works if you think about it#then again stress turns me into a perv🌝 so don't have high hopes for the future - school oughhhh school....#Also I enjoy seeing strangers going like “husband” or what not - you're not oomf??? Who are you 😭😭😭#DW btw I actually really don't care LOL I just think it's funny#I'd rather that then be haunted by private quotes - there's 1 private quote on my Damned D and gosh I'm so curious😭🌝#Also I'm back in school it's my final year and I only got fall semester for my entire senior thesis so I won't be able to post as much..oug
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Hey I found ur art uncredited on tik Tok
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMreQSnaw/
They said they "found it on Reddit" so they just decided to steal it and post it ig?? Ugh!!
Wow, that's a whole other repost to the one I thought it was going to be, lol. It's been reposted to TikTok once before, and I'm also not surprised this person got it from Reddit, where I doubt I was credited either.
At the end of the day I appreciate the heads up but there's nothing I can really do about it. The most helpful thing anyone can do is to leave comments on the reposts to provide credit,* because if artists ever try and comment then we pretty invariably get attacked. Don't be mean or aggressive, that just builds their animosity towards the artists, but I do think people respond positively to outside pressure to do the right thing 🤷
*Remember to make sure there's enough context - eg. something like "art by @ landegart on Twitter" is more searchable/useful than "artist is Landeg" to someone on TikTok who has no idea who I am haha
#this comic has been reposted A Lot and I appreciate people keeping me in the loop but it's just wearing me down#I can't do much about it and I'd rather just ignore it rather than spend time thinking about it#especially when people get into arguments with them on my behalf and now suddenly I'M the one catching heat#like it's been reposted a couple of times to twitter too and when people tell them to credit me-#-the reposters call *me* a bitch like. I'm not even there any more you're arguing with the wall#anyway. it makes me happy to see people politely but firmly crediting artists in the comments section :) thank you!#also it's kind of interesting that the conversation has become entirely about credit. when I don't want it reposted WITH credit either#I just don't want my art reposted to sites like reddit or tiktok at all. if I wanted it there I'd share it there myself#and the fact that I don't says a lot about what kind of communities those places have fostered#there's a reason like zero artists use reddit to share their own work even though it's a pretty big platform#anyway that part isn't @ you at all anon thank you for your message & keeping me informed#it's more just how the conversation has gradually shifted from 'reposting is bad' to 'reposting without credit is bad'#i understand that it's because we can't stop people from reposting so it's basically the most we can ask for. but still#and make sure you guys aren't following reposters here on Tumblr. even a lot of the ones who say they get permission just lie lol
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Defending @lil-liaa
I usually don’t post in this blog cause i have other ones but i don’t think this is being fair, me and Lia have been moots for a year and I have seen all her work over the years, I don't know a more creative person than her and I have been with her while she makes her moodboards by call and it is simply impressive the hours she invests in doing it, today I She wrote so devastated and we made a call talking, she has worked on this for so long, I remember how excited she was when she reached 1k, what I mean is that her community and her blog are very important to her, these people are accusing her because three Posts are similar to those of other blogs and that seems stupid to me since you have not even seen her other posts to know if she really makes an effort or not, Lia has made collages, dividers, banners, and a lot of other things, to she is really passionate about digital art and the only time she left her blog was because of the loss of a loved one and the truth is I don't care how many people are going to believe me after this post I just want them to leave her alone, here I am attaching some evidence...
This doesn’t even have so much in common just a three pics, in case you don’t know how moodboards are made, 2 or more colors are taken as a base and the images that best match the tones are searched on Pinterest, not only what she "copied" are just two photos but she also made a divider and a collage
Here’s just pinterest pics (proofs that are from pinterest in keep reading) and again i saw a lot of rude comments towards her that so unfair and hurt feelings cause considering how long Lia has been on her blog it's like invalidating all her hard work!!
In this post she even clarify that the divider isn’t made by her but the collage it is, also it’s just 2 pics that are similar!
This pictures are from pinterest, everyone can use it!
People bullying her
This doesn't just happen on the internet, but in real life, one of Lia's moots simply republished the post where they accused her of copying, she asked him/her why he/her did it so quickly, If they were supposed to be moots, if someone betrays you so quickly without questioning anything, they were never your friend and instead of responding privately she/him made a post just to make her/him moots laugh and the comments are gross, my god it's disgusting, this is directly bullying, if you are a thinking person and if you have ever had some kind of link you should try to talk something privately instead of calling the crazy girl and tagging all your moots so they can laugh, the worst thing is that you can tell that this girl only wants interaction because when she and Lia were chatting she threatened Lia with blocking her but then when Lia blocked her she made another post like "she blocked me" it's like, besides being a treacherous rat you can't have the decency to talk to her about it, Lia has been so nice to everyone but after all, this is where you can see who the ones who truly supported her are, and not the fake friends.
I'm not going to censor his/her username, he deserves it, tumblr is as much as real life, the importance of moots is like friends in real life, because if you want you can just harass someone and all your friends will laugh without question anything.
Also, Lia has a tutorial of a lot of things that she made! If she knows how to do it, why would she steal or copy from other blogs?
She has tutorials of gifs, texts, banners, etc, if she really stole and copy, why she knows how to do it by herself?, and if she knows how to do it by herself she doesn’t even need to stole!
LIKE SHE DIDN’T CARE?! Sorry but this is so wrong, i can tell that, SHE CARES, all these people who are making posts mocking her and calling her crazy because according to them she "copied" three measly posts, when if I were in her place and all my years of work were at stake I would also act like a crazy person because it's worth it, here it is demonstrated clearly her hypocrisy, if Lia wants to defend all her hard work or defend herself from bullying by blocking you she is crazy but if she makes a post explaining everything it seems like she doesn't care, this frustrates me so much
Here more evidence of Lia’s drafts
youtube
Just a few of her drafts
And last but not least I want to give credit to Lia's great work these years, so you can see that there is a true artist behind all this nonsense controversy, here are some of her moodboards, my personal favorites that I can't imagine how much time it would have taken
Extra: “Lia we know it’s you” Don’t acuse me of being Lia, i’m just a real friend
Evidence: Contact of Lia and me
Hi guys, it's come to my attention that someone in the moodboard community known as lil-liaa has been copying / taking heavy "inspo" from other creators like @y-unjins and @iluvrei view more for more info + evidence + my opinions on the whole situation
before i start, i'm not trying to run lil-liaa off the platform nor am i trying to stur up drama, this is just to bring light to the situation as not many people know and many people (including myself) defended her when this first happened, i also want liia to realize that what she's doing isn't right and that she shouldn't just brush off "accusations" like these when there is evidence.
proofs
you can see the similarities as lil-liaa used 3 of the exact same pics as iluvrei's including one edited by the original creator without adding credits to the post.
2nd
here you can instantly tell that the moodboard was copied (lil-liaas on the right being an exact replica of y-unjins), only changing 2 pics excluding the idol change and
3rd / last
lastly, you can see how one lia used the exact same divider (+ didnt give creds), two she uses the same images not only in the moodboard but also in her gif (same pics from y-unjins moodboard including the png)
now, lil-liaa was sent multiple anonymous ask from last year and one recently accusing her of stealing moodboards, although a lot of people defended her last year including me due to the ask having no sorts of proof of moodboards being stolen and no one else speaking on it but now the recent ask she has received included proof and her response to it was very (in my opinion) rude and just sounded like she didn't care.
in my opinion, i don't believe this was just a draft she had premade and i don't believe she somehow got the same exact photos from y-unjins moodboard recommended, i believe since this isnt the first accusation and now there's proof of this i believe she has been copying moodboards since last year when she was accused. i don't believe lil-liaa cares about this, the fact she's stealing from other creators and when she gets called out for it she pushes it off with the same excuses
tags
@miujo @rkkuri @lvioung @ciestial @aeraras @sugarish @gyareii @i-kyujin @daddldee @i-mmaculatus @haerinism @chaeryeos @bloomqi @h-yeoni @p-oisn @bitchey @yeritos @yonkiibums @y-vna @y-urios @fairytopea @shuaver @yeoniis
#Youtube#kpop moodboard#lil-liaa#kpop aesthetic#kpop gg#danielle moodboard#bylilliaa#moodboardcommunity#clean moodboard#new jeans#kpop moots#twice moodboard
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everybody claims to be a kashiwagi enjoyer but the only time anyone ever talks about him is to say he's the hottest piece of meat in the series
#this goes for a lot of characters but he's the one i pay the most attention to#this probably isn't even remotely profound to most people who follow me but it really feels like a massive proportion of fandom nowadays#only cares about fanwriting if it's within 1500 words and rated E#there are some notable exceptions of course but fuck there just doesn't seem to be any real feedback on anything anymore#unless it comes from people i share small discord servers with and chat to every day#the number of times i've linked my textual analysis pieces to people who say they're fans of the character it's about#only to get brushed off in favour of the next off-model drawing of him with his balls swanging#it's demoralising#i don't want to be the elitist ''nobody likes him the way i do'' jerk but this is a lot of the reason i haven't been as active on tumblr#on top of me (mostly) running out of games to play then going on holiday and coming back to my steam deck's display not working#(it's still in for repairs)#maybe when i get it back i'll liveblog yakuza 4 but i'm starting to wonder if there's a point in using tumblr#when the only people who engage are people i speak to directly on discord anyway#like why not just cut out the middleman at this point yknow?#well. guess i'll get back to my sawamura ikki rabbit hole#expect arai posting when i get my steam deck back#me#text#kashiwagi osamu#idk lol i don't want to put negative fandom commentary into the character tag but i DO want this to be in the tag on my blog itself#i don't think there's a way to do that anymore
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probably i SHOULDN'T migrate elsewhere if tumblr goes belly-up. i just scrolled thru my dash for 20 minutes and in that short span i could feel myself transform from a mildly tired 27-year-old butch into an active serial killer.
#starts typing posts like 'i hate you people so fucking much' and then pauses like#this is how every terminally online post i've raised my eyebrows at for Weeks has started.#girl if you put all your thought into the computer eventually your world will shrink to the size of it.#this site really does make me feel like shit. i need to follow more photography blogs and people who don't post stupid fucking bullshit.#hey if you post a lot of photography or POSITIVE fandom stuff WITHOUT a shitload of untagged politics.#hit me up. i've unfollowed 80% of active blogs i used to follow for 'annoying me' crimes and my dash is both dead and profoundly irritating#i need to breathe some new life into this account. or what am i logging on for.#by positive fandom stuff i mean you're not typing a bunch of nasty hot takes i'll hate or bitching constantly about varying properties.#and you don't hate polyamory. and you don't hate ace people. and you don't hate queerplatonic relationships.#SHOULDN'T BE A HUGE ASK!!!!! AND YET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND FUCKING YET!!!!!!!!!11SHIFTONE!1ELEVEN!!1!#i'm tired of tumblr not making me happy. i should be able to see my blorbos and feel joy here.#negative#i suppose
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My thoughts on jewish politics are nuanced and convoluted in many ways, but if somebody comes at me with the idea of categorizing my thoughts as being in line with the "good jews" or the "bad jews," you've just got to assume I'm not One Of The Good Ones.
#jewish politics#jumblr#jew by choice#jewish conversion#personal thoughts tag#caveat that i am not officially jewish yet and some of y'all (antisemites) still treat me with similar hatred and jew hatred#for some (many) antisemites i'm already too far gone and frankly i'm glad. i'm glad to face their hatred rather than concern trolling...#...or the infantilizing antisemitic 'let me save you from the jews 🥺🥺🥺'. it makes me sick to my stomach either way but at least...#...with the outright hatred you arent trying to bullshit me. i despise when people lie to me or put on façades or use platitudes to trick m#i have never been One Of The Good Ones and i'm not about to start now basically#and i would rather stand with others/other jews (again im in progress but i digress) than stand a second near antisemitism 🙏#like i know at some point i'm probably going to have to have more concrete opinions but now isn't the right time for that#i try to educate myself but i don't for one second want to encroach. in many ways i guess i'm waiting until i am a jew? i dunno 👍#felt i should make this clear in case i do start getting the same shit the jews/fellow jews-in-prgress i follow are#thank g-d i haven't had too much shit on this account but i have already been barraged by actual tumblr nazis who called me the k-slur so h#that happened a While ago (again thank g-d) but that still cemented in my head that i am... maybe ig Too Jewish to ever be safe ever again#if that statement makes sense
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In all seriousness, when I was in my 20s I spent way too much time reading tumblr and trying to figure out the right opinions to have on everything. It was pretty soul destroying now that I look back.
#although the people i consider my people (leftists and the left leaning) are always turning on people for slight disagreements#so i guess it was self preservation in a way#luckily i basically never posted back then only read#the truth is a lot of the disagreeing and fucking infighting on the left is internet sickness#and a lot of people who seem to know what they are talking about on here are actually talking out of their ass- seriously.#they don't need to know what they are talking about because everyone reading knows even less#my criteria for which leftists i respect is 'can they handle a slight disagreement with someone broadly on their side-#do they engage in good faith or do they mock and belittle?'#and i understand anyone on here with over a certain amount of folllowers who talks about politics will get bait and bad faith asks and stuf#i'm not saying you have to engage with bait in good faith!#just the real stuff.#i kind of regret this now but i engaged on a post that was using the word liberal in the coloquial (meaningless) tumblr way#that was when someone i followed (unfollowed now) apologised to the op of the post for my dumb idiocy- i was like ohhhhh#and then the op of the post responded to me like 'i'm using the true definition of liberal! which is: [really confusing explanation]'#the truth is there is no one definition because the left and right use it differently#when the right says liberal in a derogatory way they don't mean 'not those further left people though! they are really respectable + cool'#nah they mean the further left also#the point is the term liberal has no set meaning- it changes with context and no one bothers providing the context#i will stop now this is too rambly even for me
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people can use this site however they want but there's something almost- idk, sad? about how few people are actually using their blogs. you can turn themes on and have skeletons dancing in the background. you can make everything hot pink. your blog is your scrapbook and you can put whatever you want in there. tags are okay at organizing things so you can have just a whole archive of cool shit to look at later. i know people complain a lot about people liking stuff about reblogging for engagement, and on one hand i get that- it is WILD to see a drawing i spent hours on get only 12 reblogs and 60 likes. Absolute culture shock compared to my previous fandoms. but i don't think you should reblog anything to make artists happy. i think you should reblog things so you can find them again. i think you should queue things to appear on the dash at specific times on certain days. i think you should reblog things so when you're talking to your friends about xyz post you saw you can look in your blog's archive and find it again. i think you should reblog things so that your dash is filled with one really sleepy cat. with the loss of reblogs there's the loss of engagement, which Does hurt the community-focus that makes tumblr so appealing, but idk i just wish people were more excited about the incredible amount of customization that tumblr allows and took advantage of that more
#if you're ever nervous about reblogging stuff just remember that people can always turn off reblogs#and also pls theme your tumblrs after silly fish or weird cube people or dnd#just anything that's fun to you have fun!!!#this is the silly cringe website please join us and be silly and cringy#i need to go to bed i think#but i also keep thinking about how i enjoy myself the most on this website when people reblog things from me and add commentary#comments/replies are great sure but they really bring the conversation to a halt and doesn't allow anyone else to chime in#idk some of my fave followers are the people who only like stuff#but when there are *only* people liking things it really feels like you're just yelling into a complete void#and then it's harder to find more content for things you like too#because the people you follow aren't reblogging things youd like to see#i have to delve into the main tag for my fandom content a lot because the people i follow are usually just making og posts#maybe i just need to find people who reblog things more but idk#i love it when fandoms become little communities but it feels like that's been stifled recently#which is what my actual gripe is i think#maybe ill delete this in the morning maybe not im just full on rambling at this point#getting a lot of likes feels like twitter validation#and reblogs feels like 'im putting this cool thing up on my very big fridge'#i don't want a popularity contest i just want to share cool shit >:c
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🫂 Do you have any irl friends who like DNP? Did you introduce them or just happened to share an interest?
Nope!! I tried to introduce my best friend irl to Dan and Phil, he did NOT get it, so I don't talk about them anymore. This is my dirty little secret lol He knows I write fanfiction, of course, but I don't say what about and he doesn't ask so lol
I do consider Katie who was a phandom friend one of my best friends irl at this point because we've been texting CONSTANTLY for years I basically watched her son grow up at this point, but I can't say she's fully "irl" since we cannot meet because I'm stuck in a different hemisphere lol
#I don't even tell my therapist about this#my family doesn't know shit about them either#like I used to tell my sister but she never cared#it's just me out there screaming into the void with all of you guys <3k#I used to have a few college friends who knew about the phan obsession because they followed my tumblr and honestly regret#one of them exposed it to everyone in class once it was so embarassing like I don't like remembering it#ever since that day and the way people looked at me when they saw I liked Dan and Phil I keep that shit to myself aksdn#properly shamed forever#personal
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i find it very interesting youve never shared the username of the og callout poster 🤔🤔🤔
There's actually a few reasons for that.
1: I literally do not even remember their username at this point, and I don't wanna go digging through my blocks to find it.
and 2: I am not a wilfully ignorant piece of shit, and I know that dropping someone's username in any capacity when airing a grievance is a sure-fire way to get them harassed, whether that's my intention or not.
Also they pretty rapidly proved they're not above cyberstalking, as they hunted down my twitter account (and possibly others), so on the off chance they are still stalking my accounts 3 years later (Gods I fucking hope not, like get a fucking life if you are, holy shit), I don't wanna give them any further fodder to try and paint me like some kind of monster.
They made some truly heinous, and vile false accusations about me, but that doesn't mean I think they deserve to be a victim of the mob they tried to sick on me.
#the callout post used to be the first thing that popped up when you'd search my username#so while I wasn't freely sharing their username it also wasn't exactly the hardest thing to find#but that's the risk you take when you drop someone's username in a callout post#people will be able to find you by searching for who you called out#there's not really anything *I* can do about that#according to a work friend it is now a different follow-up callout post that comes up#but it's a callout post that was in response to the original callout post#so it's all ammo from the same slander#I've mentioned before that I don't know what happened to the og#they either took it down themself#or tumblr did 'cause I reported it and I'm sure a few other people did too#they posted badly censored versions of my art they claimed was CSEM in that post#which means they either fully comprehend that shotacon is *not* CSEM or they're fully willing to share *actual* CSEM#I am not the worse person here no matter how you look at that#like hate shota all you want but being fully willing to share with your followers what you truly believe to be CSEM is never a good look#if you truly believed I committed the crime of exploiting and abusing a child by making that artwork then why tf are you sharing it?#distribution (even censored) is a crime too you dumbass#so again they 100% know that shota is not the same as CSEM and they're watering down terms to prop themselves up and make me look worse#or they fully willingly shared something they believed to be CSEM which is a crime#neither of those are good things
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Rant in tags
#it's easy to forget how unqueer the world outside is when tumblr is such a rainbow place#last night I saw a post about how the drag show in Olympics opening was “perverted” and “insulting christianity” and just.#and this was from a so called queer channel I followed.#someone in the comments even used the word “queerbaiting” which is how you know these are children with no knowledge#yeah the demon of curiosity possessed me and I scrolled the comments#everyone where saying how these folk “ruin the image” and I was like. these people are the reason we have any rights nowadays#and there was this one person defending the show and the admins were going against them full force#meanwhile another guy said polyamoury “isn't normal” and no one other than the defender batted an eye#one of the admins even said “queer platforms aren't covering this so I guess gays are homophobic now”#they say that sarcastically unaware of the fact they just uttered#head in my hands#knew better than to argue with them when my sanity is endangered but gosh I wish they at least studied queer history a bit#as if “not normal” isn't the anthem of queerphobes used even against the “good gays”#wait until they learn about the frontliners of pride#I'm definitely leaving that channel now#sucks to know that some of us don't even have a place within the community sometimes#but at the same time I know who my community are and I'm grateful for them
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same soup... different day
#hello it is sarah in the tags again#i feel like i tell myself i'll actually use this as a blog and then i forget and then i remember and then i forget again#venting ahead if that is not ur jam (talking to the 2 followers who actually see my posts)#i like tumblr because it;s so removed from my personal life that it feels really like a place i dont have to be anything for anyone#anyway i've been wondering if i should go back to therapy again but i feel like they might get tired of me because i keep bailing and comin#back like an addict lol like i swear i'll commit this time! sike. ghost be upon ye#anyway this time i'd come in for the big D#i don't like the floor it just feels closer to being six feet under and a bit like where i belong#i feel like a great number of things have happened in the past year and i've met all of it with a very lukewarm sense of dread and anxiety#its not even about feeling happy i dont even think i can feel shaken by anything. i feel like people see my apathy and think it's confidenc#anyway im not going back. they always say the same thing. can't do shit about shit life syndrome. and i don't want pills i'm so sick of the#isn't it something that i'm especially depressed the day before i start my new job? it's a tradition at this point. cheers#isn't it cruel that everyone in my life seem to put me on some kind of bizarre pedestal and no one questions my decisions or authority and#i battle with myself to figure out if i'm doing the right thing (no one will tell me the truth they are all scared of me getting angry)#was talking with a friend about how it'll be if i join their group project in a module we're taking soon.#and she's like well isn't it obvious? everyone will just listen to whatever you say and we'll end up doing well.#no one would challenge you because you're always right. and it's like.. yeah. i guess. okay. (hate that i know she's not wrong)#lol can u tell this is why house is kind of getting to me. learning lots of things about myself watching that man commit medical malpractic#anyway. i didn't ghost my therapist this time i remember now. she left the clinic lol she asked me to connect on linkedin. that was amusing#i always feel like the therapists here never know what to do with me and i kind of have to hold their hand a bit through my psyche#also they seem to be a bit at awe of me which is a bit annoying. and i know that definitely sounds like Issues but it's just like#ugh not you too. please stop i'm sick of it i'm sick with it. i don't want you to be inspired by my awful life and how i handled it#and i have nothing to say for it but... *gestures vaguely* of all of this
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found out one of the biggest tumblr users from my country who i frequently see on my dash with big insightful posts lives in the same city i do. which if you knew where the fuck i live you'd know that encountering someone from here out in the wild is NUTS
#literally whomst the fuckst knows about my hometown. it's wild.#i was going to message them but i actually don't even follow them because they're like... too real?#i appreciate a good blog with good posts but i also don't really follow people who frequently post a bunch of politics/science/history#just because i like to use tumblr as my fanart shitpost and sadposting site with my mutuals and not as like a Real place for Real talk#and besides. i am afraid of socializing unless it's at a distance and with people i feel comfortable with. which is very specific.#some guy in their 30s who comes across as like a bit too serious who lives very close to me is. a bit beyond me.
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making gifs is not the most difficult thing in the world but I feel like some people on here could stand to consider just a little more that gifs don't materialise out of nowhere, there are people making and posting them who liked the source material enough to gif it and then share it with you, especially considering gif makers get a notification with a link every time you use one of their gifs
#nvtxt#this post is mostly a joke tho#girl they are using my gifs for x reader!!!#and while that's funny i don't mind that at all#but it does bother me when people say stuff like “how did tumblr know i just played this”#in the tags#tumblr does not know! i posted that a few hours ago because i also just played it and you follow someone who reblogged it from me!#“this show sucked” why are you telling me this! me who clearly liked it enough to gif it!#i get it but omg i hope this way of talking about fanmade content doesnt spread to art and fic#my gif making is very low effort so i really do understand but do YOU understand that gif makers are fans who can see all your strange tags
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