#This is about people who don't use tumblr or follow me and don't use tumblr enough for me to be worried about them seeing it

[phoenixyfriend]

i was someone who did originally follow you for star wars stuff (and i still like ur star wars stuff), but honestly i’m… now, like, less inclined to unfollow when you post abt things like colourpop or the news and such. like, maybe i’m just not following the right people, but it is really nice to follow someone who explains issues in a way that i think is really accessible, does so without guilt tripping, and also in a way that outlines concrete steps one can take to mitigate them. like, i’ve never read twilight but most of my friends did, and i never knew about the racism in it until you explained it in a way that doesn’t guilt-trip people for liking it but also explains how to mitigate some of the harm caused by it. if i had social media other than tumblr i can probably guarantee your posts about this would’ve gotten me to messages the company. also there aren’t many blogs that tag as thoroughly as you (i have no idea how you do it - i tried, it took so much of my energy and was so confusing to remember - but i really like it since it helps so much with filtering). so yeah lol sorry this got long, but i just wanted to say that i can see how people are unfollowing, but also as someone who originally came here for sw stuff i like the way you post about things in general, it’s actually made you noticeable enough on my dash that i wouldn’t really unfollow now, yk?

Context

ANON THIS IS SO SWEET I IMMEDIATELY TOOK SCREENSHOTS AND RAN OFF TO SHOW SOME FRIENDS

I do take pride in explaining things in ways that I hope are understandable and not too guilt-trippy and follow that Persuasive Essay Structure where you include a call to action.

Also I have two tricks to make my tagging faster:

Download Xkit Rewritten and use the Quick Tags function for anything you tag a LOT (I'll add a snippet of some of mine at bottom)

I frequently draft instead of reblog. That means I can use the quick tags once I get back to my laptop, and if I've drafted a lot of posts that are about one topic that I don't plan to come back too in the future (e.g. the superbowl), I can copy-paste that into the freeform part of the quick tags.

Some of my quicktags as seen in the extension (I have 22 in total at the moment):

This is how it shows up on my drafts page. The "Tags (comma separated)" bit is the freeform:

[storkmuffin]

The Magic of San (2/N)

my question: what are your thoughts about san!! in comparison to wooyoung, he is much more like...feminine? not like he is a feminine person, but he reminds me of my dad. my dad has all the masculine hobbies and is very traditional in his beliefs, but i always say about my parents is that their instincts were swapped. my mom is loud and brash and blunt. my dad is very in touch with his emotions, he cries, how he interacts with his loved ones is quite maternal. san reads to me like that. i don't think he's necessarily feminine, but he has a lot of emotional intelligence and care i think a lot of boys aren't raised with.

@gorekiss Thank you for asking me this question (absolutely ages ago), because it's about San, but also because it has so many interesting elements to the question! The topics that are going to be covered in this, my second essay on the topic of the K-Pop Idol Choi San of Namhae, born 1999 and a member of the band Ateez are:

THE DAD CONNECTION. Being the tough, logical daughter of a tender, emotional father. (I'm not presuming that you are this - I'm saying I am.)

Gender and cultural analysis of men who cry.

What it means to be a man from Gyeongsangdo and how people of that region think and talk about ourselves, and how people from other regions think and talk about us, and how that ties in with San's presentation as an unusual star.

The inevitable Wooyoung mention at the end.

gif by tumblr user: newpartnerincrime

What follows is not really an answer to your question but me using it to discuss masculinity, Gyeongsangdo, and all kinds of other stuff.

Whee~~~

It's always fun to meet people on the internet, because you usually connect with them for one really specific reason (fandom about something), yet time and again, the people I actually end up having meaningful interactions with tend to have surprising things in common with me, across cultural and background differences. Such as this one!

Hey @gorekiss ! My mom is also brash, blunt, unromantic and emotionally self-sustaining, whereas my dad is emotional, and wants things to be nice, soft, and lovey dovey. All the women of my immediate family tend to be stoic and logical, with a tendency to get irritated with mushiness, whereas the men are more romantic and soft. And San also reminded me in many ways of my dad - or rather, to be more precise, reminded me of what I have gathered my dad as like when he was a young man. But you see, my dad is from Gyeongsangdo (he's from North Gyeongsang, San from South, and within Gyeongsangdo this is seen as a meaningful difference), he came up to Seoul as a teenager to pursue his dreams, he speaks the dialect as a native language, has one older sister and was adored by his mother, so he has a lot more in common with San!

So us both going "Oh, that's a lot like my dad!" is very funny.

The thing is, I don't think it's actually an expression of femininity for men like San or my dad to cry.

Granted, weeping in the form of emotional incontinence, and I do mean that literally, is a trait attributed to women and treated with the same contempt that is given to someone who pisses themselves in public, with all that it implies in both sexism and ableism: weak, embarassing, humiliating, and generally attesting to the inability to be a full, functioning adult.

"Real" men don't do this kind of crying. And it's generally agreed, isn't it, that 'real' men aren't supposed to cry? And because they allegedly don't, when "real" men do cry, those tears are so valuable, so moving, so precious. This is definitely true in the Asian context, and I would argue that it's true in the Western one as well.

When a man cries at someone's funeral, that proves he really loved the deceased, because he's a man, and he's crying. When a man cries because he's drunk, he's forgiven immediately and cooed at, because it's the alcohol that's melting the hard cement of what it means to be a man and you get to see the little boy still in there somewhere, and that precious child must be protected. When a man cries at art or in empathy, it's a testament to the goodness of his spirit, his artistic sensitivity, and the tenderness of his heart,precisely because he's not supposed to cry, which then means he must be protected by women and men alike.

What I have experienced in life is that men are not supposed to cry but actually do cry, liberally, a lot, whenever they want, because men have the monopoly on valuable tears. They are free to panic and start screaming at a high pitch (because all humans do this when panicked) because hysteria doesn't apply to a creature without a uterus, even though the symptom they are exhibiting is exactly the same as a creature that does. Men in Korea protest that there's a lot of rules preventing them from having full emotional lives, but as that's an interior thing I can't gauge the veracity of this sort of claim. What I have seen and experienced, however, is that they basically cry when they want, panic when they want, lash out when they want, whine and complain when they want, talk as much as they want about as many stupid topics as they want, utterly untrammeled by anything stopping them, because of this monopoly on valuable tears. Korean men do all the shit (cry in an incontinent manner, get emotionally warped, gossip meanly, complain) that they accuse women of doing. It's women who can't express much beyond a narrow set of 'correct' feelings in public in Korean society. We can't even like pop stars loudly without there being a whole set of words invented to speak of us in a derogatory manner so harsh that other women react by disavowing all interest in something as harmless and fun as pop music.

The types of crying that San (and also Wooyoung) have done that I have seen in the 자컨 (self content) has all stayed firmly within the lines of correct, valuable, masculine tears. These include: 1) when drunk, in the company of other men, in a light or funny way and 2) being overcome with sentimentalism with your adoring mother.

Sidebar: Male Korean judges have forgiven confessed rapists of elementary school aged girl children because the rapist said he had been drunk. Yes. It's like that. No, we hate it. Yes, it makes me homicidal.

Moreover, San being able to cry while drunk and protesting that he has picked a terrible seat (between the very aggressive prankster Wooyoung who knows he will always be forgiven by San no matter what he does, and Jongho who is an opera singer pretending to be a kpop star and a very dominant eldest son strafing against his work-assigned role of being the maknae of this group) is in many ways Gyeongsangdo masculinity that is so old school it's a little shocking. But then, Ateez is a group that both pushes forward with gusto (Hwa playing with gender, Woo kissing boys) while at the same time insisting on values that are actually going out of style (뉴꼰대, Woo insisting on babying the maknae, there being a 대장 / captain who has the final say). He wept because he was being screamed at, but he was drunk, and he did it while cursing someone out and in dialect.

Illustrative example of what I mean by Gyeongsangdo masculinity. When my dad as in college, he and his buddies went on a hike up a challenging mountain. We have a lot of these. They were ill prepared, and so got caught in a snow storm and had to shelter in place because going down was more treacherous than staying put. They were unable to light a fire (because ill prepared) and so couldn't eat properly, and were freezing besides. Night fell. It was cold. They were huddling, and then one of the started to cry. Someone else said, 임마, 울지 마라! (Dude don't cry! but in the Gyeongsangdo accent) and the crier replied, 내 안 운다! (I am not crying! - same accent), sobbing, and then, my dad said, these dudes in their 20s all hugged on the mountain pass and cried together until the snowstorm subsided. Nobody had gay panic about this at the time because, gayness didn't really exist in Korea back then, but also because this sort of homosocial safety - men can be really themselves only with other men, in the same way women can only really be themselves when men are not present- is a core norm of Korean society. They all became super close friends for the following decades from this experience. My dad was not embarassed by his friends' or his own tears. He tells this story as a way to show how very manly (in a boyish way) they all were. The capacity to trust other men enough to burst into tears is a form of correct masculinity.

Moreover, a word about Gyeongsangdo dialect. Gyeongsangdo dialect sounds aggressive to Seoul Standard speakers, both for the sound and for the historic association with men from that region. Gyeongsangdo is where two military 'strong men' dictators in Korea are from - Park Junghee and Jeon Du-Hwan (I'm using my own spellings for their names). They spoke the dialect a lot. Pusan, as the major port city of S. Korea during its rapid development also had a lot of organized crime around import/export, so a lot of gangsters in film are portrayed as having strong Pusan-accented Gyeongsangdo dialect. (And - just to give you too much information - Jeollado, where Yunho is from, also suffered from historic stereotyping as the place where Korean gangsters/mafia/yakuza are from, so in a reverse cultural vengeance sort of thing, a lot of Jeollado culture makers specifically made Gyeongsangdo gangsters to try to give the finger to what they view as the oppressor's region.) (OK that was too much information, sorry).

gif by tumblr user: jenrubyjane

Gyeongsangdo dialect uses a different vocabulary altogether than Seoul Standard Korean but also uses a completely different rhythm, and is almost a tonal language, which Korean is not. You have to sing it in order to say it correctly. And like most regional accents and dialects that are very pronounced, outsiders who didn't grow up with it get it horribly wrong - the sound is wrong. The only persuasive Gyeongsangdo characters I've ever seen in Korean film and tv are actors who are actually from there or only one or half generation removed from native speakers. Plus, the tonality of Gyeongsangdo is impossible to completely eradicate, no matter what. I've never lived in Gyeongsangdo, but since I lived a very peripatetic childhood because of my father's job, I grew up speaking Korean mostly with my parents and grandmother, who are all from different parts of Gyeongsangdo, and I've been told that even I have the tonality bleeding over into my Seoul-Standard Korean (which also has additional weirdness because it's got tinges of various other language zones I've lived in). Since the language is so different, Gyeongsangdo speech is also considered very unfeminine - blunt, impatient, angry, loud, abrupt.

If you've ever wondered why Seong-hwa's Live has fans tell him to 'do the accent' and then immediately tell him that it's scary, or when Hwa and San tease each other for being 'scary,' this is why.

Gyeongsangdo is also the politically right-leaning, conservative part of the country. Conservative in Korea does not mean 'conservative' in the American sense by the way - it's not the same. Right leaning isn't the same either, but I can't get into all that right now. But it was a base of power, and it still is a base of power. Having produced strongmen isn't necessarily a thing to be proud of, but then (in a weird twist?) those strongmen didn't do too terribly in some of what they set out to do - develop the country, build highways, build international relations, make Korea a worthwhile place for foreign investment etc- even as they trampled on democracy. So Gyeongsangdo men are both proud and slightly defensive about being themselves. And more than that, like I said, the accent is impossible to remove.

Gyeongsangdo men are stereotyped to have only three things to say when they come home from work:

밥 묵었나? 아~들은? 자자! (Have you eaten? And the children? Let's go to bed!)

The thing is, as I've said above, as a woman for whom all sides of her family come from north and south Gyeongsangdo and only all moved to Seoul in her parents' generation, this is not true. Gyeongsangdo men talk endlessly. It's just that the Gyeongsangdo dialect is compressive, as a language, and tonal, which makes the very long, very wordy sentences spoken by Seoul Standard Korean speakers unnecesary. But to them, I think it sounds very blunt.

To me, the accent is the sound of love, of uncles consoling me at my grandmother's funeral in sentences no longer than 10 syllables each, but containing everything I needed, you know? To me, guys like HongJoong, who speak in full Seoul-Standard sentences, talk way too much. They just never stfu, and I get tired listening to them string word after word after word, without breathing.

And San is proud to be where he's from. He's not just proud to be the first (and possibly only) Idol to come out of Namhae. He's proud of Namhae. I like that about him so much.

There's a moment their ATINY Day live from 2024.11.17, at the 59:30 mark or so, where they all play, the 'You're breaking up with me?' role play, and he starts out speaking in dialect, because he's tired. The others burst out laughing, because again, the dialect can sound aggressive, almost to the point of comical effect, for other Korean regions. San doesn't understand why they're laughing, and that's an interaction I've seen my family members have, and had myself with Seoul Standard speakers. (I will refrain from telling another story about my parents - my mom and my dad - and their first year at Seoul National U, when they had to speak up in class, in their accents, and people either found them incomprehensible or laughed.)

Which is why San is fucking fatal to me.

On top of which, he's very hot when he gets into this tough gyeongsangdo boy character, because all the men I love in my family also can 'get into' this character, and then they fritz out just like he does and turn into puppies.

WOOYOUNG. OK so -

Wooyoung clearly thinks this accent is way cool. He loves imitating it. He doesn't do it very well though. His 마! which he loves saying, is said in the wrong note and with the wrong emphasis (yes, there is a wrong emphasis you can put on a single syllable exhortation). He's absorbed really odd pieces of the dialect, like the word 디비, which he said recently in a live. He as complaining that the 영부인 are sending him off 'too easily' and he says, 디비 자 which means... flop over and sleep. But he says 디비 in a Seoul accent, which had me DYING because you know he's absorbed that word from spending a lot of time with San (and possibly, San's Mom).

And finally, (I say finally like there as some sort of structure to this instead of it just being an insane stream of consciousness ramble) - people used to give 'country' accents, like the Gyeongsangdo one, a really hard time. It got eliminated quite a bit which is why neither San nor Hwa have any difficulty speaking Seoul Standard most of the time (but for the times the OG dialect inevitably bleeds out) and why, by the same time, Yunho actually doesn't seem to speak Jeolla's very distinctive dialect much at all. Then, recently, because it's dying out, it became hip, as all dying cultures do. And I feel some type of way about that too. They're trying to preserve it now, actively. Which is why people who aspire to be big, representative stars like the Ateez guys have not one but two members who trot out an intensely South Eastern Korean regional dialect at will.

The cycles of irony never cease.

[darklinaforever]

At no time did I criticize the Wenclair shippers (a ship that I also like). And yet I have seen countless people insult Wyler's shippers. You're attributing to me things I've never said.

I repeat, this post has nothing to do with the tag dedicated to Wyler. It's just a fact, whether you like it or not. He is there for obvious provocation. Tags exist on tumblr for a reason. It's not because there are no direct insults (which is the case for other antis Wyler that I have posted), that it makes this post more correct and not open to criticism and or anger.

Stop trying to make me the problem here.

As I said before, the only antis I show and post are those who use tags inappropriately to go and bother shippers in a place that is supposed to be a safe space for them, which is definitely what this person is doing.

When I talk about anti-Wylers, I'm talking about these people, and the people who follow me know it very well.

If it’s them that I show it’s for a reason. Maybe I'm not talking about the others who just don't like Wyler in their corner and or with the appropriate tag ? It's not very complicated to understand.

And you're not going to teach me how to analyze Tyler's character, I've done it extensively, and I can say that considering him a simple murderer who doesn't regret his actions without any form of doubt is a mistake.

Someone in my reblog :

Are the anti Tyler Galpins really stupid ? I didn't even know they could even actively exist like that...

[swampybogg]

[wellfine]

Hey I found ur art uncredited on tik Tok

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMreQSnaw/

They said they "found it on Reddit" so they just decided to steal it and post it ig?? Ugh!!

Wow, that's a whole other repost to the one I thought it was going to be, lol. It's been reposted to TikTok once before, and I'm also not surprised this person got it from Reddit, where I doubt I was credited either.

At the end of the day I appreciate the heads up but there's nothing I can really do about it. The most helpful thing anyone can do is to leave comments on the reposts to provide credit,* because if artists ever try and comment then we pretty invariably get attacked. Don't be mean or aggressive, that just builds their animosity towards the artists, but I do think people respond positively to outside pressure to do the right thing 🤷

*Remember to make sure there's enough context - eg. something like "art by @ landegart on Twitter" is more searchable/useful than "artist is Landeg" to someone on TikTok who has no idea who I am haha

[kenzan-kiwami]

everybody claims to be a kashiwagi enjoyer but the only time anyone ever talks about him is to say he's the hottest piece of meat in the series

[crimeronan]

probably i SHOULDN'T migrate elsewhere if tumblr goes belly-up. i just scrolled thru my dash for 20 minutes and in that short span i could feel myself transform from a mildly tired 27-year-old butch into an active serial killer.

[shalom-iamcominghome]

My thoughts on jewish politics are nuanced and convoluted in many ways, but if somebody comes at me with the idea of categorizing my thoughts as being in line with the "good jews" or the "bad jews," you've just got to assume I'm not One Of The Good Ones.

[epiaphany]

Just wanted to thank you for all your no music scenes! Truly highlight during this hiatus! 🩵🩵🩵

( Also if you have the time the buddie confessions ending scene? I know they don't talk in it but I wonder what's it like without the music )

hi! thank you! that's so sweet of you to say, it means a lot 🫶🏻

unfortunately because of the lack of dialogue in that scene, it's not really possible to remove the music in the same way, because there is a lot of music on all the audio channels. i have tried and did manage to make the music not as dominant and bring out the other sounds (door opening/closing etc) a little bit, but it really didn't make that much of a difference for me to think that anyone besides me (who have listened to this clip maybe 100 times now) will be able to tell 😅

[wild-at-mind]

In all seriousness, when I was in my 20s I spent way too much time reading tumblr and trying to figure out the right opinions to have on everything. It was pretty soul destroying now that I look back.

[pyrosomatic-metamorphosis]

people can use this site however they want but there's something almost- idk, sad? about how few people are actually using their blogs. you can turn themes on and have skeletons dancing in the background. you can make everything hot pink. your blog is your scrapbook and you can put whatever you want in there. tags are okay at organizing things so you can have just a whole archive of cool shit to look at later. i know people complain a lot about people liking stuff about reblogging for engagement, and on one hand i get that- it is WILD to see a drawing i spent hours on get only 12 reblogs and 60 likes. Absolute culture shock compared to my previous fandoms. but i don't think you should reblog anything to make artists happy. i think you should reblog things so you can find them again. i think you should queue things to appear on the dash at specific times on certain days. i think you should reblog things so when you're talking to your friends about xyz post you saw you can look in your blog's archive and find it again. i think you should reblog things so that your dash is filled with one really sleepy cat. with the loss of reblogs there's the loss of engagement, which Does hurt the community-focus that makes tumblr so appealing, but idk i just wish people were more excited about the incredible amount of customization that tumblr allows and took advantage of that more

[lesbianphan]

🫂 Do you have any irl friends who like DNP? Did you introduce them or just happened to share an interest?

Nope!! I tried to introduce my best friend irl to Dan and Phil, he did NOT get it, so I don't talk about them anymore. This is my dirty little secret lol He knows I write fanfiction, of course, but I don't say what about and he doesn't ask so lol

I do consider Katie who was a phandom friend one of my best friends irl at this point because we've been texting CONSTANTLY for years I basically watched her son grow up at this point, but I can't say she's fully "irl" since we cannot meet because I'm stuck in a different hemisphere lol

[coockie8]

i find it very interesting youve never shared the username of the og callout poster 🤔🤔🤔

There's actually a few reasons for that.

1: I literally do not even remember their username at this point, and I don't wanna go digging through my blocks to find it.

and 2: I am not a wilfully ignorant piece of shit, and I know that dropping someone's username in any capacity when airing a grievance is a sure-fire way to get them harassed, whether that's my intention or not.

Also they pretty rapidly proved they're not above cyberstalking, as they hunted down my twitter account (and possibly others), so on the off chance they are still stalking my accounts 3 years later (Gods I fucking hope not, like get a fucking life if you are, holy shit), I don't wanna give them any further fodder to try and paint me like some kind of monster.

They made some truly heinous, and vile false accusations about me, but that doesn't mean I think they deserve to be a victim of the mob they tried to sick on me.

[cooltuna69]

Rant in tags

[eclarinet]

same soup... different day

[haarute]

found out one of the biggest tumblr users from my country who i frequently see on my dash with big insightful posts lives in the same city i do. which if you knew where the fuck i live you'd know that encountering someone from here out in the wild is NUTS