#This is a joke hahaa

[undercover-grisha]

Zoya: “This is my husband, Nikolai.”

Nikolai: “Hello!”

Zoya: “And this is his boyfriend, Mal.”

Mal: “Hi.”

Zoya: “And this is his wife, Alina.”

Alina: “Nice to meet you.”

Zoya: “And this is Alina and I’s girlfriend, Genya.”

Genya: “Hi!”

Zoya: “And this is Genya’s husband, David.”

David: “How do you do?”

Nina: “Guys I was only gone for one year! What the fuck happened?!”

[nvoc]

SKYRIM ; scenery 44

[can-o-memes]

They’re both fighting for his life right now

[plugnuts]

Pokémon fans are cowards I'm reading the Typhlosion story and thinking that it should have been me instead

[cosmic-mango]

What's the name of the Li and Johnny's duo preparing a meal for the rest of the fraternity?

💀🔥H̴e̴l̴l̵'̷s̵ ̴K̴i̵t̸c̸h̵e̸n̵🔥💀

[teacolouredink]

Obligatory "Sorry for not being active" post lol.. ironically I've been drawing more than ever sjaksj lmao

[tryinganythingtobehappyagain]

The high notes demi lovato can hit >>>>>

[very-sexey-ratatouille]

Me: (to my friend) I love sleeping. Sleeping is my favourite thing to do.

This girl sitting behind me: aggressively sleeping

[millenniumdueled]

Who's your daddy?

um. i don't know..??

[shit-post-god]

Muslims think about how the world was formed

[black-lakritz-dragon]

Using my ladle to push in my shitty ditching coworker who didn't do shit as always yet still consumes the fruit of my labor into the earthen bucket oven along the wood i stir for hours to nourish the flames

[w04hxo]

.

[thereturnofastrosrevenge]

i dont know who i'd personally seriously ship with Nos but it's really fucking funny to joke about but thats how my ships start 😱

[acerathia]

ok, so, in chemistry we had to learn the components of pain killers, and those usually have caffeine, yeah? I asked my teacher, if the caffeine would be unhealthy at some point, and he was like: "I doubt anyone would take that much pain killers for that to be a problem." And laughed, bc understandable, it was a tiny dose.

But my classmates turned to look at me and laughed, bc I was on prescription pain killers all day long and i guess he couldn't have known.

[crowwwzy]

Gamers N' Such

Or „Reigen always ends up being the butt of the joke“

I was too excited to wait to post this it‘s finally DONE HAHAA!! (It doesn‘t even look that … great ahah but hey at least it‘s finished)

[nikoisme]

alright so here's how that happened. storytime

when i was a kid i really wanted to be an english professor and pretty much everyone in my family knew that fact. Also as a kid i really, really hated typically feminine things (dresses, makeup, all that jazz). I liked how it looked on other people. but it just felt wrong on me. Made me very uncomfortable. (cough cough)

Now, this is important for context. Where I live, any man who presents more feminine is immediately assumed to be gay,, and any woman who presents more masculine is immediately assumed to be lesbian. Which is not true. That's just how you present, it has nothing to do with and doesn't dictate how you identify.

So one time we were preparing for a celebration and i, in my typical fashion, declared that i am NOT going to wear a dress. So jokingly, my parents asked me "so are you going to be a lesbian?"

Now, my genius child brain figured out that they are asking me what i want to be when i grow up. Well, they knew i wanted to be an english professor - then certainly lesbian is a very professional term for english professors! So I very proudly said "yes." This was not music for their homophobic ears, and they just stopped what they were doing, looked at me dead serious and asked "Do you know what that word means?" I figured that I probably fucked something up by the tone of their voice, so i went "uhh. yeah. it means english professor". They said "Niko, that's female [insert f slur]". I just went "oh" and we just kind of laughed it off.

It's funny to note that I was taught from a very young age to hate queer people. They tried to drill it into my head that gay people are horrible and that i should hate them with every fiber of my being. But it never worked. I have no idea why. I never really gave much thought about queer people and i never saw anything wrong with being queer. Like,, that's just how you are, what's the big deal. Well boy oh boy was I about to have a horrible, horrible time when i realized I am queer myself (a lot of internalized hatred and denial LMAO). I don't know how those things never stayed in my head because pretty much all of my peers (including my siblings) were taught the same things - and they are some of the most bigoted people i know. So not only do I have to pretend to be cishet, I have to pretend I am homophobic and transphobic as well! It sucks!

But on that note, before I realized I was aroace i thought i was lesbian for years and so my dream way of coming out (if that ever happened, which was highly unlikely) was to yell "I AM AN ENGLISH PROFESSOR." it would be funny if i WAS an english professor and it'd be funny if I WASN'T.

when i was a kid i thought that lesbian was the scientific name for english professors