#This has been sitting in my drafts for 6 months I might as well just throw it out now idk what else I was gonna add but this is good enough | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sabraeal · 6 months ago

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If the Mind Is Willing, Chapter 6

[Read on AO3]

Written for @claudeng80, who has been waiting longer than a month now for this birthday fic, and who has indeed beta'd this birthday fic as well, for we long ago passed the point where we pretend with each other that our final drafts are our first drafts. And though she cannot and will never see those first drafts because that is a layer of vulnerability on par with peeling off my skin to show off my bones, she can at least see my seconds drafts. Where she will then promptly tell me that I am missing a crucial word in a sentence, and maybe I should consider a comma or maybe a whole ass period, or possibly learn to spell words the way the god or at least the Oxford Dictionary intended. Because that is what friendship is all about 🤣

The problem is: it feels like too much.

The suitcase had been a given, of course; Chizuru only had the one, a gift from Father on her twelfth birthday, meant to be used on the single vacation he’d set aside time to take her on. Even after six years, the flower decals still looked like they’d been applied yesterday, pink a vibrant cherry blossom, only the dint on one corner to serve as proof it had ever been used. Disney World might have only lasted two days before a work emergency had them hopping the next flight back home, but at least the Orlando baggage carousel had left its mark. It’d been a happy reminder of better days when she’d been living out of it for those few weeks, unsure of where she would land— or whether she ever would.

It’s only— she hadn’t thought it would be full. Chizuru wouldn’t call herself a light packer by any means, but the event’s only three days, at a hotel that is possibly twenty minutes door-to-door, at least when school’s in session. It hardly seems like the sort of thing that calls for a suitcase filled to the brim. Above the brim even, if she were gutsy enough to take Kimigiku’s costume out of the garment bag— which she isn’t. It’d been heart-pounding enough putting Sen’s paper-wrapped kimono in there, let alone something with parts and pieces and things that could very easily scatter under her bed skirt and be lost for eternity.

Which brought her tally to one suitcase (over laden), one garment bag (to be treated with care), and the small travel pack she’d slung over her chest (overstuffed), gone over a half dozen times each, pared down to the barest bones, and still, still—

She can’t possibly take up this much space. Even in Shinpachi’s Range Rover, it’s too much. Maybe if she tried again, this time—?

3:15, her lock screen reads, a little snowflake sitting beside the 33°F below. Haah, with a four o’clock check in, there’s no chance of her whittling her luggage past the basics. Not unless she want to be late, and if she’s late, then—

Then everyone will be waiting for her. All of them clustered at the bottom of the stairs, watching the time tick down as she tries to decide if she really needs an extra pair of underwear or another package of hair ties. Just the thought threatens to have her break out in a full-body rash.

With a steeling breath, she adjusts her travel pack and rolls out to the hallway. A proposition that would be easier if not for the wall-to-wall carpets in the hall, but Chizuru manages to steer her suitcase competently enough, drawing up to the stairs with enough confidence to survive the six sets of eyes sure to turn her way—

Only to find two instead. Not waiting on her either— no, Yamazaki’s got his head bent close to Hajime, hands shaking with emphasis as he hisses, “I don’t care if he’s done hours before anyone else, I’m not getting in a car with him.”

“I was not insinuating that I would make you,” Hajime intones with weary patience. “I merely wanted to mention the likelihood of Souji being the first of our companions to finish with his preparations.”

“And I’m telling you that I’m not—”

It’s not on purpose; between fight or flight, Chizuru’s legs have chosen freeze, and she’s perfectly resigned to stand statue-still up here, silent and just out of sight. But her suitcase chooses to make it known to everyone in the major metropolitan area that one of its wheels is not perfectly situated on the landing. It tilts, the aggrieved wheel letting out a plaintive squeak— and that’s all it takes for Hajime’s eyes to narrow, slanting up to the top step.

“Good afternoon, Yukimura,” he says, oddly pointed. “It seems you are ready to head to the hotel.”

“Ah…” Her suitcase clunks down the next step with her, wheels spinning. “Yes. I just, um…”

Have to survive these stairs, she swallows down, gritting out a smile instead. She tries to lift her case and garment bag all together, but—

“Yukimura.” Long, well-clipped fingers wrap around the side handle, quite literally taking the weight out her hands. “Would it be alright if I handled this for you?”

“Oh.” Yamazaki’s not a tall man, not by any measure, but in the dim light of the stairway, he looms, and it— it flusters her, free hand fluttering uselessly between them. “I-I can’t possibly ask you to—”

“You’re not.” Hajime hovers at the bottom of the banister, a strange sort of lightness in his voice. If Chizuru didn’t know better she might call it…bubbly. “He is.”

“O-oh.” She stares down at the hand still clenched around a handle, willing each finger to release knuckle by knuckle, so slow it feels like someone else’s hand entirely. “Then…thank you, I guess.”

Yamazaki spares her a nod and a terse, “No problem,” right before he lifts her suitcase and—

And rams it right into the floral wallpaper.

“Nice,” Hajime hums, appreciative.

Yamazaki’s still flushed when he glares down, snapping, “I don’t see you helping.”

“And get between you and serving hime-sama?” Hajime’s not one to smirk— honestly, he’s not much on smiling either, save by millimeters— but a corner of his mouth trembles as Yamazaki tromps down the last few stairs, stormy as one of their winter squalls. “I would never.”

His jaw doesn’t so much open as fall, working, as if he needed a good running start to get his next words out. Chizuru simply slips around his side, asking brightly, “Have you been waiting long?”

“We were just discussing who we thought would be next in finishing their preparations,” Hajime tells her, not really answering her question. Experience tells her that means ‘a long time.’ “Although Shinpachi could fit the seven of us in his vehicle, we would more comfortably divide into three and four amongst two cars, and since I have a perfectly serviceable sedan”— Chizuru’s confusion must show her face, since one look at her has him hauling to a stop, coughing to clear his throat— “I mean to say, we were waiting for our third.”

“Oh.” She blinks, glancing between the two of them. “I guess that’s me?”

“So it seems.” There it is, that tremble at the corner of Hajime’s mouth, threatening to curl. For a moment, she’s certain it will, but he turns his head away, casting a speculative look down the hall. “Should we wait to take on another passenger, or—?”

“Better not risk it.” Hajime half-turns toward Yamazaki, disappointment palpable, and he adds, “Oh come on, Nagakura has the bigger car.”

“That doesn’t mean we should—”

Whatever Hajime means to say is lost in the tangle of boy and bag clattering down the stairs, the struggle so loud Chizuru’s ears still ring even after it’s over.

“Oh hey,” Heisuke says, cheerfully emerging from the tumble. “You guys haven’t left?”

Yamazaki blinks. “Not…yet…”

“We were just discussing if we should wait,” Hajime says. “Since Shinpachi’s vehicle might be preferable to the remaining passengers.”

“Nah, those guys are gonna take forever to get ready. Sano has a whole bag just for his freaking hair! And not only that, but him and Shinpachi have been fighting for the last ten minutes over who owns this styling gel or whatever, which like, who cares? But still” — Heisuke stops to catch his breath— “You got room for one more?”

Yamazaki and Hajime exchange looks. Just what exactly they’re saying, Chizuru can’t even begin to guess.

“Well,” Hajime hums, bemused. “That does handle one problem.”

“Fine.” Yamazaki sighs, hefting a bag over his shoulder. “Let’s just go already.”

Despite all her fretting, her suitcase fits easily into the back of Hajime’s Elantra, slotting into the last spot in the trunk with little more than a twist and a lift. It helps that all Heisuke has is a duffel, crammed into the corner with all the care of a dirty sock being returned to the hamper.

“Don’t you have costume parts in there?” Yamazaki manages around a grimace; one that only deepens at Heisuke’s shrug.

“It’s fine.” He gives the bag one last good shove, wedging it firmly against the side. “I just threw it together. And Sano says he’s gonna bring all the sticks or whatever—”

“They’re boffers,” Hajime interjects, “technically.”

“Yeah, that.” Heisuke claps him on the back. “Don’t worry, it’ll be fine. Hotels have those iron thingies, don’t they?”

Both eyebrows hitch up to Hajime’s hairline. “You know how to use an iron?”

Heisuke’s face crumples in confusion. “Well, no. But how hard can it be?”

Plenty is the answer, though Chizuru’s in no mind to give it, not when she’s preoccupied with trying to hang her garment bag on the hook over the window. Yamazaki and Hajime had made it look easy, but hers just keeps sitting wrong, taking up too much space and—

“You can take the front.”

She blinks up, half spilled out of the back seat, right up into Yamazaki’s concerned frown. “Excuse me?”

“I mean, if you wanted. It’s probably, er, nicer than having to share the back with—” his gazes darts over her head, to where Hajime patiently coaches Heisuke in the proper way to treat his personal items— “anyone.”

Her hands fly up, waving between them. “Oh, no, I couldn’t possibly! I can’t have you sit back here with my bag in your way.”

“We have bags back there too,” he reminds her, leaving the ‘and we’re definitely making Heisuke deal with it’ unspoken. “It’s only fair for me to make the offer.”

“Ah, I suppose…” She runs her fingers down the seam of her garment bag, considering. “But really, I’ll be fine. I’m sure Hajime would prefer to have you as his copilot!”

His mouth furrows, the perfect counterpoint to the storm brewing on his brow. “Yukimura—”

“All done!” Heisuke bursts onto the bench seat beside her, quivering with the same energy as a dog wagging his tail. “We gonna get this show on the road soon?”

Yamazaki’s mouth pulls too thin for a sigh to slip through; instead it all rushes out of his nose, coming to an abrupt halt when he glances down at her. “Are you sure you wouldn’t like to change seats?”

“Hey! What’s up with this thing?” There’s not a lot of Heisuke, but what there is stretches across the seat, reaching out to give her garment bag one good tug. It’s like magic— one minute it’s shoving a shoulder across her seat, and the next it’s tucked into the handle, laying flat against where the door would be. “There, all set.”

He settles back, utterly nonchalant, as if he didn’t realize he’d done anything exceptional at all. Chizuru fails to stifle a laugh.

“Yes,” she says, giving Yamazaki one of her brightest smiles. “I think I'll get along just fine.”

“Woah? This is the place?” Heisuke jabs a finger toward the glass doors beneath the portico, duffel slung over his shoulder. “You sure?”

“Of course it is.” Yamazaki steps into the revolving door, suitcase clattering at his heels. “Haven’t you seen the campus hotel before?”

“Well, like, not up close,” he admits, following him through. “But this is nice. Like nice-nice. Are you sure they’re gonna give us discounts on a place this swanky?”

Chizuru has to admit, she’s thinking the same. From the outside, it didn’t seem like anything much— just another brutalist building squatting on campus, only with better parking access— but on the inside…

“Is this marble?” she murmurs faintly, nervously mincing across the floor. A hundred dollars for the weekend seemed like a steal when she’d thought it’d have the same level of amenities as a Holiday Inn Express. Now it’s practically highway robbery. “And the chandeliers…?”

“Satsuma Estates has been very kind to our organization since it started,” Saito informs them as he emerges from the door, his own suitcase coming to rest at his heels. “Most of their meeting spaces are influenced by traditional Japanese aesthetics, which meets our standards for a desirable location, and on their part, we are regular, respectful customers who—”

“We hold our biggest events during the part of the fiscal year where there isn’t much in the way of guests.” Yamazaki’s mouth slants, almost sly. “Spending New Year’s Eve on an empty campus in the middle of nowhere isn’t exactly on anyone’s bucket list.”

“So we get to have this place all to ourselves?” Heisuke eyes a vase that could have been just as at home in the Forbidden Palace as it was in a hotel lobby. “And they don’t have a problem with us running around in our costumes? I mean, with the swords and everything?”

“Boffers,” Hajime reminds him at the same time Yamazaki sighs, “They’re just foam.”

There’s a look that passes between them; a weary one, at least for Yamazaki’s part, though Hajime…well, Chizuru could hardly pretend to be an expert on the minute changes that marked a shift in his moods. But if she had to hazard a guess, she might say…amused.

“The more regular players typically bring foam or rubber replicas, with little intention to use them outside of aesthetic accuracy.” Hajime nods his chin toward a plastic pipe leaning against the front desk, both ends thickly padded and wrapped in what looked like duct tape. “New ones or the more…martially oriented roles usually elect to use boffers. Regardless, any weapon paraphernalia is inspected and registered at check-in.”

“They are also not allowed to be drawn outside the designated bounds of a scene,” Yamazaki adds, not a little stern as he surveys the crowd. “Personal combat sequences usually require advanced warning as well, since they have to prepare an area especially to accommodate—”

“Hold up. ‘Personal combat sequences?’”

“Duels,” Hajime clarifies.

Heisuke’s eyes pulse wide. “Duels? Really? We can have one of those?”

“As honor demands.”

“Woah.” There’s a new level of respect in Heisuke’s eyes as he scans the room. “And everyone follows the rules?”

“Yes,” Hajime says as Yamazaki grunts, “Mostly.”

Another look slings between them, though this time Chizuru doesn’t mistake the censure in Hajime’s stare.

“They say we’re better behaved than a regular convention,” Yamazaki allows, begrudgingly. “Or at least, we smell better.”

Heisuke blinks. “Smell better?”

He huffs out something in the neighborhood of a laugh. “You don’t want to know.”

“Should we get in line?” Chizuru eyes the crush creeping toward the front desk, barely contained by the black tape borders. “It seems like there’s already a bit of a wait to get through…”

“Jeez! That’s a lot of people!” Heisuke startles, like he’s only just noticed. “I thought this was supposed to be small?”

“Our usual group is around twenty to thirty members.” Hajime casts a speculative look over the lobby. “But for our weekend events, it can easily double.”

“Dude, this is definitely more than double—”

“Why don’t we check into the event first?” Yamazaki juts his chin toward the hall past the lobby, tightening his grip on his bags. “If everyone’s out here, then there can’t be much of a line there.”

Heisuke’s mouth clicks shut with a shrug. “Sounds like as good a plan as any.”

The event’s check-in is down the hall from the real one, just inside the first exhibit hall they come across— nearly empty, just like Yamazaki said, the number of people loitering around denser behind the tables than in front of them. For the two boys who are best known as the only ones in the roommate agreement who possess some sense of caution, there’s no hesitation, no moment for them to take in the currents of the room and pick the best course— both beeline straight for one of the tables, lining up with all the ease of habit. Chizuru follows after them, not on their heels, like Heisuke, but taking in the size of the room, in how there’s a few people clinging to the corners, their conversations hushed but curious as they pass.

There’s a mountain of a man in front of them, made larger for how the seams of his button down strain at the shoulders to contain his hunch, and she can’t shake the feeling that it’s familiar. Especially when he stands, unfurling head and shoulders taller than all of them and—

“Yamazaki.” The man doesn’t so much speak as rumble, like far away thunder, turning to them with a warm smile. “I see you did bring your friends after all.”

“M-Mr Shimada,” Chizuru gasps, heat flooding her cheeks. “I didn’t even—?”

Recognize you, she nearly says, but he’s wearing the same button down and slacks he does behind his desk, looking every inch like the professor he is. Or at least, will be, once he’s made the jump from adjunct.

Think you’d be here is more accurate, but the longer she considers the idea, the less improbable it seems. He’s a history professor after all— the kind that keeps replica swords mounted on his office wall, right above the pictures of his wife and kids. An active kendo instructor at the campus gym too, plus a dozen other martial arts she can only half remember the syllables of. She’d already seen him do demonstrations with live steel at the freshman orientation fair, dressed up in a kimono and hakama. And when she thinks about it like that, it’s honestly more surprising that he’s the only one from the department here.

A chill shivers up her spine. He’s the only member of the department she sees. That doesn’t mean he’s the only one in attendance. Her eyes skitter out over the hall, searching for stiff shoulders or the lingering scent of Marlboro—

“He’s brought quite a few friends this time.”

Chizuru startles, but it’s not an expletive that’s been dragged over gravel— no, it’s the reedy voice of the man behind the table, a wide smile pulled across a face as dainty and delicate as a doll’s. And yet when those large eyes fix on her— not the same shocking green of Souji’s, but something softer, mossier, more natural— there’s no innocence behind them, just the ceaseless churning of a great machine.

“Though I see not all of them have made it yet.” He rises, half out of his seat and hand outstretched. “I take it this is…?”

A narrow set of shoulders steps between them. “Heisuke!”

The man blinks, impossibly long eyelashes batting against porcelain pale cheeks, but his smile doesn’t lose any of its shine. “Ah, yes, of course, Heisuke. How nice that you’ve decided to join us. I’m Keisuke Ootori, one of the game masters.”

“Thanks for having me,” Heisuke says, so easy, and— and it would be nice to be like that, to be so confident of being welcome that pleasantries don’t turn oddly personal; that saying hello doesn’t come off as desperate. “It’s my first time doing this whole LARP thing!”

“You don’t say.” Keisuke’s mild gaze slants toward Yamazaki, mouth hitched at a corner. “Well, any friend of Hajime and Susumu’s is a friend of ours.”

“Su…Susu…?” Heisuke blinks, rolling his eyes to stare at Yamazaki. “…Mu..?”

“Don’t start.”

“Now, you were playing…?” A finger runs down the binder in front of him, stopping with a victorious tap. “Matsu Yoshitora, the beastmaster.”

“He’s lion clan!” Heisuke leans over the table, practically quivering without a tail to wag. “Because that’s my fursona.”

“Oh.” There it is again, that little wobble at the corner of his mouth, that dart of his eyes to where Yamazaki stands, hands clapped over his face. “Isn’t that nice.”

“I don’t know him,” Yamazaki says through his fingers, ears blazing bright red. “He just followed us in.”

“What Heisuke means,” Hajime interjects with beatific levels of patience, “it that the lion is his favorite animal. At least out of the options presented in the player’s guide.”

“Ah, I see.” Teeth peek through his smile when the game master turns back to Heisuke, fingers knitted over his binder. “You know, one of our other players has a whole functioning tengu suit. I think you might get along.”

“Don’t encourage him,” Yamazaki grumbles, but it’s too late, Heisuke’s already nodding his head, saying, “I have no idea what that is, but it sounds cool.”

“It sure is. Technically impressive too. Now, if you have weapons”—his hand sweeps out toward the table cozened up to his, and the girl behind it— “Marie can take care of their registration.”

“They’re not here yet,” Heisuke hurries to tell him— and as an afterthought, her. “They’re in the other car.”

“If you can describe it, we can get the process started.” The girl— Marie— smiles, but it doesn’t have the same warmth as Keisuke’s. It’s perfunctory, precise, and certainly satisfies Heisuke, since he slides right over and starts trying to gesture dimensions. But still, Chizuru can’t quite shake the feeling that there’s something cold beneath that polite smile, something pointed about the way her eyes avoid anything past the midline of the tables—

“Now, you”— Keisuke’s angles sharpen, teeth flashing behind his smile— “must be Hime-sama.”

Conversation careens to a halt, even the restless murmurs from the corners of the room pressed into silence.

“Ah…um…yes.” Chizuru shuffles a hesitant step closer. “Chizuru. I mean, I’m Chizuru”— he only smiles wider at her blush— “I’m playing Doji Kaoru.”

“Ah, a pleasure to meet you, Chizuru.” He presses a gallant hand to his chest, a sparkle lurking in the corners of his eyes. “And Kaoru. We’ve been waiting a long time to do something with Hime-sama…”

“O-oh! Really?” Her stomach knots itself before hurtling to her throat, bile sour on the back of her tongue. “I’m sorry— it must be so much trouble to— I can always play someone else if it’s going to ruin—”

“On the contrary, Chizuru! You saved us quite a bit of trouble. Especially poor Marie here.” He jerks a thumb toward where she sits, studiously ignoring their conversation. “But on that note— once we’ve wrapped up with check-in, I’d like to talk to the three of you.”

“U-us?�� Every hair stands on end. “Are we in…in trouble?”

She could pass out just considering it. Her name’s barely gotten crossed off the list, and already she’s being called in to the principal’s office to explain herself. If only—

“No, no, not at all. In fact, the opposite”— he laughs as he leans in, lowering his voice to a stage whisper— “we’d like you to raise a little trouble.”

“O-oh.” She clasps her fingers to keep them from trembling. “Okay? I guess.”

“We’ll discuss it in a bit.” He settles back, tilting his chin toward the table next to him. “Now if you have any weapons to register, you can—”

“I don’t.”

His words grind to a halt. “You…don’t?”

“No.” She blinks, fingers clenching painfully tight. “Is that…bad?”

“No, no.” He shakes his head, the warmth still radiating from his smile— but there’s a sharpness to it too. An edge an unwary finger could cut itself on. “That’s perfect.”

“Hey, Shinpachi! Sano!” Heisuke bolts like a dog let off his leash as they round the corner to the lobby. There’s more than a few people that stand head-and-shoulders above this crowd, but no-one besides Harada shines bright apple red under the light, hair so glossy and soft Chizuru wonders just what he uses for conditioner. “Look! I got this cool bracelet.”

His wrist thrusts out right under their noses, fluorescent green so close their eyes nearly cross just trying to look, but Shinpachi just pushes it out to a visible distance and grins. “Sweet, bro! Where do I get myself one of these babies?”

“Around the corner.” Heisuke puffs out his chest, free hand hooking onto his hip. “There’s a girl handing them out. Look, Chizuru’s got one too, and—”

“Do they really think I’m going wear that?” Souji doesn’t so much arrive as appear, gone one moment and holding her wrist the next, like the neighborhood cat that only winds itself around her ankles when she’s throwing out old chicken bones. One finger slips beneath the pink band, tugging like he hopes it’ll give. “I’d rather cut my wrist off.”

“If you’re not having fun,” Yamazaki sniffs, “you can just go home.”

Souji’s sneer hones to a point. “Don’t threaten me with a good time, nerd.”

Yamazaki’s jaw works, breath so heavy Chizuru’s half worried it might steam, but before he can manage to marshal anything beyond ‘you—’ Hajime replied, “Yes, the bracelet is required. It marks us out as participants in the event, as well as informs security at a glance that any weapons on our person have been registered and approved by the game masters.”

“Wow, really?” Shinpachi blinks, prodding at Heisuke’s band. “Is there some sort of chip in there or something? RFID or whatever?”

“Er, no.” Yamazaki scratches at the back of his neck. “It’s just the color. Green means he’s only got one registered.”

“Blue is two,” Hajime offers, flashing his own wrist. “As I wear both tachi and tanto.”

“Oh!” Chizuru blinks down at her pink band. “What about mine?”

“You do not possess any weaponry,” he tells her, tone taking a surprised lilt. “Either visible or concealed.”

“What?” Yamazaki catches her wrist up in one hand, long fingers feather-light across her pulse, and he blinks at the band like he’s never seen a red paler than fire engine. “You didn’t bring anything?”

“I…” hadn’t known that would be an option. “Is that bad?”

“Ah, no.” His eyes meet hers, pulling wide before his fingers flinch, both hands and gaze skittering away from her. “Just…unorthodox, maybe.”

“I just thought…Kaoru is a courtier.” She shies beneath a shrug, cheeks flushed. “That means that she would put more weight on her words rather than, er…”

Hajime nods. “A good character choice, Yukimura. One that may also have complicated consequences, depending on the sort of story the game masters would like to tell.”

“Oh.” Her throat squeezes, the first prickle of tears stinging at the corners of her eyes. “Sorry.”

“Don’t worry.” A hand falls gently onto her shoulder, fingers tightening in the barest squeeze when she dares to glance up. Yamazaki may not be one for smiles either, but there’s a faint one clinging to the corners of his mouth now, both amused and— and something else. Fond, maybe. “You’re with us, Yukimura. Experienced players live for complications.”

It’s warm where his hand presses to her, even through her coat, and her tongue tangles trying to find the right word, to find the compromise between thank you and I’m sorry, but—

But Souji saunters right up between them, flicking the band at Yamazaki’s wrist. “Hey, if all these colors are supposed to have some meaning or whatever, what’s with the lame ass purple?”

Yamazaki snatches his hand off her shoulder, cradling it against his chest. “What if you just—?”

“It means that he keeps up to the event maximum,” Hajime informs him mildly. “Concealed.”

Harada frowns, considering the band. “And just how many is that?”

“Five.”

“Woah!” Shinpachi takes a half step back, Heisuke quick to follow suit. “That, uh….that’s pretty impressive. Do a, uh…lot of people do that, or…?”

“No, it’s special dispensation,” Hajime clarifies casually. “Only a handful of players ever display the responsibility and mastery of play to earn the right.”

“No way!” Heisuke suddenly no longer shrinks from but stretches toward Yamazaki, an eager grin tugging at his lips. “Dude, are you like, really cool?”

Souji sniffs. “Only if hell has frozen over.”

For once, Yamazaki doesn’t rise to his bait, merely shaking his head. “No, no. It’s really not that big a deal—”

“Uh-huh.” Harada crosses his arms, one corner of his mouth curling toward a smirk. “And just how many people have a band like yours?”

He hesitates— too long, since Hajime is quick to offer, “Three.”

Yamazaki flushes under the sudden spurt of attention turned his way. “Saito would have one too, if he wanted it! It’s just— shinobi carry knives!”

“Lots of ‘em, apparently,” Shinpachi mutters, impressed.

"That's not--!"

“Ah, hey, Chizuru…” Harada turns to her with a sheepish look, rubbing at the back of his neck. “You know, the bunch of us already checked in here, so uh, why don’t you guys go on up?”

“M-me?” She blinks, on hand resting against her chest. “B-but…”

It’s habit to turn to Yamazaki, to leave space for him to air his own thoughts, his own opinions drawn from forethought and experience, but—

But he’s too busy stumbling under the hand Shinpachi claps to his back, looking like he’d like the carpet to swallow him whole.

“Ah!” Her fingers squeeze tight. “Um, yes. Sure. I’ll…get on that.”

The line’s smaller than it was when they first arrived; no longer a crush of people and garment bags and boffers, but a more subdued queue. It’s in no way quick— it moves along, but there’s time to idle between their forays forward, Heisuke pressing Hajime about clans and combat and conspiracies while Yamazaki surreptitiously checks his phone. Never for long, just a click on and off of the screen, like he’s waiting for something, and—

“Next, please.”

“Yukimura,” Hajime intones, utterly serious. “It is your turn.”

She jolts up from her suitcase, eyeing the open desk. “O-oh! Are you sure? I don’t want to keep you all from—?”

“Next customer, please!” another clerk calls from further down as the cluster of people in front of her walk away, polite smile already tacked in place. “Please approach the desk when you’re ready to check in!”

“That’s us,” Yamazaki says, skirting his suitcase wide as he steps around her. “We’ll wait for you when you’re done.”

“Don’t look at me,” Heisuke says, even as she does. “I’m just here for the company. Sano and Shinpachi already handled my room.”

“A-alright.” Hand wrapped tight around her suitcase handle, she rolls forward, knees barely trembling. “H-hello. I have a reservation?”

The receptionist smiles down at her. “Can I have your name?”

“Chizuru Yukimura?” She rises onto her toes, neck craned to watch the woman key her name into their computer, as if that might somehow help her find it. “I should have a single—?”

“Single…? Oh, hm.” The receptionist sits back in her hips, stymied. “I’m actually seeing one of our queen suites?”

A chill races down her spine. “Ah, no, but I— it definitely was supposed to be a single.”

At least it was when she booked it; it was the only thing she could afford, even with the discount. And even then—

“Oh! I see.” A couple clacks across the keyboard brightens the receptionist’s smile by a couple of watts. “It seems you’ve been given a free upgrade to one of our deluxe suites!”

Nothing good comes for free, Father’s voice blares in her ear, they only want to hide a cost you would hesitate pay. Her stomach twists, cold seeping up her throat. “F-free? I don’t have to, er, sign up for anything, or…?”

The receptionist relaxes with clear relief. Chizuru wishes she could do the same. “Yes, completely for free, at no extra charge!”

It’s impossible to swallow past the lump in her throat. “W-why? Did I do something…?”

“It doesn’t say on the reservation.” Her shoulders offer up a scant shrug under her blazer. “We must have run out of single rooms.”

“But…” It’s worse this way, she wants to say, the words clawing in her throat. Because I didn’t earn it. “I…”

“Yukimura.” Yamazaki steps up beside her, furrowed brows already aimed over the counter. “Is everything all right?”

“A-ah, yes!” Chizuru drops her heels, shuffling back from the counter. “It was just…something with the room…?”

“Ms Yukimura received a free upgrade to her reservation,” the receptionist replies cheerily. “Give me one moment, I’ll activate your key.”

“Free upgrade?” He blinks down at her. “Is there something wrong, or—?”

“No!” It’s ridiculous how much of a scene she’s making— anyone else would have just received it with a smile, happy to have gotten the extra mile out of their money, but here she is, half faint, making a mountain out of a molehill. “It’s fine, really.”

The corners of his mouth bite deeper into his cheeks, unconvinced. “Are you sure? One of us could always—?”

“Here you go, ma’am— 1204.” The receptionist hands over a small envelope, two keys nestled inside. With one glance at Yamazaki, her smile slants, angle all-too knowing. “Enjoy your stay. Next customer, please?”

He frowns, knuckles blanching where they grip his bag. “Yukimura—”

“It’s fine!” Her teeth grit down in a smile. “Really, it is. Let’s just get settled in.”

The elevator doors ding in distress as Harada wraps his whole hand around one side of them, refusing to let them slide shut. “Are you sure you don’t want one of us to come with you? It’s not that far out of the way.”

It’s four floors at least— her twelve to their eight— and with how the halls stretch across this landing, the lobby central to the rest of the rooms, it’s impossible to say how far of a hike. “No no, it’s fine. I can handle finding it myself.”

“We’re not worried about your sense of direction, Chizu.” Shinpachi crosses his arms over his chest, forbidding. “But what if someone gets weird with you while you’re wandering around up there?”

“Of course that’s your problem with all this,” Souji snorts, slinging his bag over his shoulder. “Chizuru gets an upgrade and suddenly you’re all acting like there’s lions trying to split the lame gazelle from the herd. What’s the problem, think someone’s going to make eyes at her getting ice if she doesn’t have at least three of you to scare ‘em off?”

“This is serious,” Shinpachi spits. “There’s a lot of people in this place right now—”

“A serious waste of my time.” With a desultory wave of his fingers, Souji stalks off down the hall, calling over his shoulder, “Chizuru’s already said she’s fine. Call me when it’s time to eat.”

“Don’t listen to him,” Harada hums, his too-kind eyes looming over her. “If you don’t feel comfortable, it’s fine for one of us to—”

“No, I’m okay, really.” Chizuru lets her mouth pull wide, hoping her smile is more confident than she is. “You guys need to get your stuff settled. We can meet up later for dinner.”

Harada hesitates, struggling against another distressed ding. “I don’t know…”

“You have your phone, don’t you?” Yamazaki drags his glare from Souji’s back to where she stands, softening. “You’ll call if you need to?”

“Ah, yes!” It takes a moment to fish her phone from her bag, opening and closing zippers as Harada slowly, by inches, loses his struggle against the doors. “Right here!”

She waves it, lock screen bright in the car, and Harada loosens his grip. “As long as you’re sure…”

“I’m sure.” The words echo behind closed doors, her stomach rolling as the elevator lurches upward. She glances down at her screen, just in time to see it flash 20% at the corner before going black. “I think.”

It’s the toots that startle her as she creeps down the hall, suitcase wheels rattling across the close-textured carpet, the loudest noise she’s heard since the elevator doors closed behind her. Her grip tightens around her garment bag, weight shifting back on her heels, ready to turn tail and run, but—

But it’s her. The tooting, that is. Or rather, her phone. Embarrassing how long it takes her to think of it, really, but she does, slipping it right out of the pocket she’d tucked it into. 15% it reads now, but that’s not what draws her attention, not when there’s a notification with Sen’s smiling face beaming beside it. did you make it?

The breath rushes from her lungs, half-sigh, half-laugh. Two steps away. Thanks for asking.

It takes an improbable amount of minutes to manage those two-steps, however. Maybe Harada could have made it in one— or Shinpachi, even— baggage all happily come to heel, card in hand, but Chizuru has to trip over hers first, juggling garment bag and suitcase and half-unzipped travel pack until she realizes she can just put her phone away to free up that critical hand. Even still, there’s rustling and shuffling to trade one flat slip of plastic for another, the envelope half bobbling out of her hands before she manages to prise one of those little cards free.

And then, with a wave of her hand— well, a couple of waves, trying to figure out just how to place the card before she just presses it to the pad at the handle— she’s in. Except—

Except it’s not a bedroom. No, it’s a small living area, couch and TV and a half-wall of a kitchenette, a few chairs scattered around. Chizuru toes off her shoes, parking her suitcase neatly beside them, and peers into the next nearest door— bathroom, the glass enclosed shower tucked into one corner and a huge tub beside it, big enough to fit at least three of her inside without touching. She pads her way across, tiles cold even through her socks, and opens the other door, leading out into—

The bedroom, finally. The queen suite with what has to be the largest queen she’s ever seen.

Her fingers fumble her phone from its pocket, flicking past the lock screen straight to the camera—

Only for, anyone swallow their tongues yet?🤭 to flash right across the top of the screen.

There’s no costumes tonight, only a dinner! Tomorrow will be our first opportunity to be in character Though I don’t think anyone will be swallowing their tongues when I’m dressed as a boy 😅

Chizuru clicks back through to the camera, tapping the screen to focus, but—

“Are those leaves?” She blinks, first at the screen, and then, as she lowers it, the bed covers. Which, as she suspected, is littered with…some sort of nature. She steps close, pinching one velvety piece of detritus between her fingers and murmurs, “Petals?”

Well, she can’t have that.

boo have some confidence!!! you look super cute in that jinbei i bet *someone’s* heart will flutter at the very least

Her neck swivels, this way and that, trying to find someplace— anyplace— where it’s safe to put down her phone, hopefully close to hand, and— ah, there it is, the bedside table. She sets it down, turning back to the bed with a shake of her head. To think, in a hotel as nice as this one, they had just let someone track in half the outside with them.

It takes her a moment to find the trash can hidden beneath the table, but after that, it’s just a matter of goading all the plant stuff off the cover and into it. A bit more work than she thought she’d be putting into settling it, but it’s worth it to have a clean place to sit when Sen asks, is your room nice?

Very!!! I reserved a single, but it seems they had run out of them, so they gave me a free upgrade 😱 The room’s huge! I don’t think I’ve ever seen a bed this big!

With a proud grin tugging at her lips, Chizuru takes a quick picture of her newly cleaned covers and sends it off.

omg LOOK at that 😱😱 a real princess bed for hime-sama

Ah, she hadn’t thought of that. Her heels hook around the bed frame, knees cradled up against her chest, and— and Yamazaki might find that funny too, wouldn’t he? Hime-sama having her own palatial accommodations. It’s nothing to flick open his thread and attach the picture, thumb hovering over send—

the only question is who is going to warm hime-sama’s bed 😏

Heat floods her cheeks. What do you mean?

i hear what happens in feudal japan stays in feudal japan you have any idea who you’d like to share with 😏😏😏

I thought princesses didn’t have to share beds

😩 you’re killing me

It’s not new, being teased like this— about this even, not when she lives in a house with six men and a solid half of them only begrudgingly allow themselves to be clothed. But Sen won’t be placated with a blush and stuttered denial— no, once she gets a whiff of romance, she doesn’t know how to give up until she’s got it clenched between her teeth. And unless she wants to pick out one of the guys as her, er, target, well…

It’s funny though! When I got here there was stuff all over the bed

Distraction is the only way out.

stuff?? like…fluids??? gross 🤮 pls tell me you called housekeeping

No, no fluids thankfully! Just some leaf stuff I handled it myself! It took me a while, but I finally got all those little petals off 💪

leaf stuff? petals??

A knock startles her, enough that she finally sees 8% hovering in the corner, her screen flicking over into power saver mode.

“One minute!” she calls out, rummaging through her bag until her fingers catch on the charger cord, tugging it out—

And half of her travel bag. The knock comes again, no more insistent, but Chizuru’s sure it sounds impatient.

“Ah, just another minute, I just have to”— miss the outlet at least twice before she gets it seated— “do this—”

Her screen lights up, the charging icon taking the place of the percentage, and it immediately toots with, where are you staying again?

She has just enough time to dash off, Satsuma Estates, before the knock comes again, and she yelps, “Coming!”

She hurries over, nearly tripping on the corner of her suitcase, but she gets the door open.

“Good evening, Chizuru,” Hajime says, once she does. “It’s time for dinner.”

#yamachi #hakuouki #my fic #modern au #college au #if the mind is willing #LARP au #okay this chapter was not as MUCH unlimited OC works as anticipated #mainly because Chizuru's anxiety alone managed to triple my word count #so uhhhhhhh good for her i guess #but next time should be yamazaki POV. with LORE. and OCs #huzzah

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crescencestudio · 2 years ago

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Devlog #28 | 02.26.23

Hi everyone! We are already close to March, which is crazy to me. This year is flying by oml. Our little team continues to work hard to bring Alaris to life, so let's see what we've been up to this month!

Writing

I officially, officially finished Fenir's draft this month---plot, personality options, romance choices, and more. And we are sitting at almost 50k words now, bringing us close to where Kayn's route is at! So, I'll be shifting to developmental editing for Fenir's route now. Kayn's route is also getting the last finishing touches before I hand it off for final editing to our line editor.

I have some exciting news now that Kayn's route is just about wrapped up with developmental changes, which I'll be announcing at the beginning of March, so stay tuned!

Now that Kayn and Fenir's routes are in other people's hands, I'm hoping to start Druk's route this upcoming month! I was initially supposed to work on his route after Kayn, but I was having trouble writing it. Since then, I've gotten a good amount of inspiration, so I'm excited to return to his character <3

Art

Vui has continued to build out the beautiful world of Alaris. Here, we have the Cafe BG, which we will see in Free Time, and the Library BG! I continue to be blown away by his ability to create such beautiful pieces, and I can't wait to see everything in-game.

I also recently commissioned a friend for some item art! I initially wasn't going to commission item art for Alaris, but I'm so glad I decided to since the result is infinitely more beautiful than anything I would've come up with <3

The results of this commission are... affection point indicators! For those of you who have played the demo, you may know that there are personality indicators (which I will also probably be updating). I thought it would be nice to also add affection point indicators so it was clear when choices were specifically related to personality or affection points.

Each of the icons contain a flower, which is associated with an LI. I wonder if you all can guess which ones are associated with which LIs, hehe! If you are versed in flower language, you might even get hints into them as characters/their routes uwu

Pictured (from left to right): Primrose, Chinese Milk Vetch, Azalea, Peach Blossom, Petunia, Lily of the Valley

I continue to make progress on the CGs of Alaris. Progress was a bit slow on my end for art this month. I focused more of my time on writing and commissions, to be honest! But as it stands, I have 4/6 of the demo CGs for the individual LIs finished (Etza and Druk await rendering while I wait on the BG). And then 8/9 of Kayn's CGs have been either sketched up, lined/colored, or are completely rendered!

Additional Notes

In other news, aside from development, I launched my Patreon this month as well (yay!!). There is no pressure at all to support, but doing so will give you more in-depth sneak peeks at development, access to early builds of the game (when available), and help raise funds for different aspects of the game, such as voice acting, art commissions, etc.! Thank you to everyone who has already supported the Patreon :')

I think that's enough from me, so that is all for this month's update! Stay safe, and see you all next month <3

#devlog #alaris

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pupintransit · 1 year ago

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We're at the end of Month 5™️ of the wait. In the same way that August was pretty dull all things considered, September was very much not.

While I still don't have a firm surgery date, on the morning I'm writing this draft I scheduled my pre-surgery consultation with Dr. Brassard. It's set for November 6! Which is yet more waiting but having a date to look forward to is going to make the lead up to it much easier to manage. I'll be taking lots of notes, and i'd be more than happy to share them with everyone after it's all over! I want my experience in getting gender affirming surgery something that i can record for people to reference, so that it can be of use to someone on a similar journey to mine.

Another milestone this month was the fundraiser I started. As you might well be sick of me talking about by now, I launched a GoFundMe at the beginning of this month. Currently it's sitting at $435, which is honestly not too shabby! This could easily be where it fizzles out, but even if I don't get any closer to the $5,000 goal i'm still incredibly grateful for what everyone has given. Most of the donations came from people I know personally, who chose to send what they could to help me with such an important. I'll never be able to fully express what that means to me.

Plus, $435 is in an of itself a tremendous help! That'll cover the lion's share of one the four plane tickets i'll need to purchase, so for that metric alone the campaign has been a great success.

Now, something that comes with the territory of sharing around a fundraiser for a very major and famously queer surgery is that your friends and family are inevitably going to find out. For the more part the response has been overwhelming positive. Old college friends and old coworkers of mine - folks i hadn't seen in years - sent me lovely messages of support and affirmation. A few even donated to the campaign! It was honestly hard to take in right at first, and i still don't fully know how to articulate the joy i feel in that.

Now, all of this seems like pretty excellent news so far sooooo why am i using the header image i am? Well this is the part where the stress comes in. Earlier i said that a lot of folks found out i was transgender and pursuing gender affirming surgery via the campaign i linked to. I figured it was best to let my parents and in-laws know ahead of time, since i didn't want them taken off gaurd. My in-laws were terrific about it. My own parents?

Ehmmmm not so much.

Mom had a very difficult time with the news. I'm not going to get into specific details but, while i haven't been written out of the proverbial will, she's very much against me doing this and will be "praying" that something changes my mind or cancels the surgery. I think (i hope) with time she comes around on it and be more supportive of me, but i can't be sure of that. Truthfully i also can't be too upset at her reaction. This is a major change in one of her children, so it's unreasonable to think she wouldn't have a emotional reaction to it.

I'm a little more concerned about my father. He did not take me being gay well at all. I remember specifically he called my husband my "friend" (complete with quotation marks) for the first few months of our relationship, so i can't imagine he'd take me being transgender or getting a vaginoplasty well either. What isn't helping my nerves is that he plays Ben Shapiro and Matt Walsh in their living room as though they were day time talk shows. I'm not being hyperbolic when i say that Shapiro, Walsh, and their ilk want to do trans folks like me harm. Talking with him about this is neither something i'm looking forward to nor have the slightest desire to bring up with him.... but since my mother has almost certainly already told him this is almost certainly going to be inevitable.

My parents don't have to understand why i'm doing this and what it means to me. They just have to accept it as a reality of my life, and respect that it's something that will make my life happier. I want them to know that i've put thought and care into this choice, and just how many professionals i've debriefed with to be sure of my choice, and that my relationship with my husband will withstand the change to my body. If they can't accept it, they don't have to be a part of my life.

Of course, it's much easier to say that about my parents than to believe it.

Anyway i have an appointment with my therapist on friday so he and i will have a lot to talk about.

#enby #transgender #gender affirming care #transition journey #introspection

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recurring-polynya · 1 year ago

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*CLAPPING AND CHEERING WHENEVER I SEE BYAKUYA'S SQUAD 6 MEMOS AGAIN* Honestly an early favourite when I was getting into Bleach. Anyways for the deleted scene stuff my vote is for Hold On, Hold On. Academy squad...

I hope someone from Squad Six saves every memo Byakuya ever writes, like, in a binder somewhere. For posterity.

Ahem! So, in the first draft of Hold On, Hold On, when Renji hit the depression stage, Kira convinced him to stay in bed. I didn't like it though, and I eventually decided that a) it was too sappy and b) it was out-of-character for Renji to allow himself that level of self-indulgence, and I rewrote it. I absolutely stand by the final version as superior. Regardless, there are certainly some charming bits in this version, so here it is. This is actually, like, 3 deleted scenes, but they go together so you can have them all. (If the first few paragraphs are familiar, it's because they're the same as in the final story, but I wanted to keep the lead-in)

🛏️ 📖 🌧️

Renji relentlessly fills binders for two days. It’s actually kind of fun for Izuru to be able to supply information on various protocols and etiquette. For once, Renji is actually interested in things he knows about. But Izuru hopes this doesn’t turn out to be permanent. There’s a certain anxious mania to School Supply Renji that he finds exhausting. This may also be due to the fact that School Supply Renji doesn’t sleep any better than Denial Renji or Angry Renji.

But Saturday morning, things have changed once again.

The day dawns bright and beautiful and Izuru hopes maybe they can spar outside or walk down into the city proper, instead of cutting articles out of magazines in the library again.

Renji is lying in bed with his blanket over his face and his feet sticking out the bottom.

Izuru hopes against hope that he’s asleep. “Hey, Abarai?” he whispers.

A muffled “yuh?” emerges from the blanket.

“You ready to go down to breakfast?”

Izuru has lived with Renji for nine months now. Renji has never once not been ready for breakfast.

There is a long pause. “I don’t feel like it.”

A dark, familiar feeling knots in Izuru’s stomach. He tries not to jump to conclusions. Maybe Abarai has made himself sick with his mania and poor sleep. “You don’t feel like eating or you don’t feel like getting out of bed?”

Another pause. “Neither, really.” Renji sticks the tip of his nose out from under the blanket. “I'm never going to see her again, am I?"

No, it was his first suspicion after all. Izuru knows how to deal with this. It hurts his heart, both because he’s embarrassed by how familiar these feelings are, and also because Renji is strong and cheerful and spits in the face of life’s adversities, and depression is not for him, it’s for people like Izuru. But that’s how it is in this bitch of an afterlife, so Izuru’s going to Do Friendship and help Renji get through this.

Izuru keeps his voice very calm and reasonable. "I think you will see her again. It won't be the same, and it might not be for a while, but I am sure you will see her again, especially if you work at it the way I know you're going to."

"It seems like so much work. It seems impossible."

"You just have to take it one step at a time. The first step is doing well at school, and you'll have that covered if you stop yelling at teachers and trying to show off in kidou. And it's Saturday, so if you want to just stay in bed for a while, you can. You don't need to work on it every minute of every day."

"I feel like I'm too sad to get up. I hate this. Why am I like this?"

Izuru pulls his desk chair over next to Renji's bed and sits down. "A sad thing is happening to you right now. You haven't really just let yourself be sad about it. It's okay to do that."

"I'm being ridiculous. I would never do this back home."

Izuru has never once heard Renji refer to Inuzuri as "home" before.

"Yeah, well, you're not there anymore, so go ahead and be ridiculous. I've spent a few days in bed myself because I was sad, sometimes it's what you need."

More of Renji's face pokes out from under the blanket. "Really?"

Izuru regards him very seriously. "Yes. And some of it was for good reason, like when my parents died, and sometimes it was for no reason. There are some people who just get sad sometimes and I'm one of them. And since I am the voice of experience here, this is what we're going to do today: You do what you want. If you want to stay in bed, stay in bed. If you want to go outside, go outside. At some point, I'll make you eat something, but it doesn't have to be right now. If there is anything you think will make you feel better, go for it. If there's anything I can do to make you feel better, say the word. You want to tell Rukia stories, I'll listen. You want me to go get you some food, just tell me what you want. You wanna borrow my blanket so you can make yourself a big blanket nest, it's yours. If you'd rather have Momo or Hisagi or someone else, I'll go get them for you. If you want to be alone, that's okay, but I will check on you from time to time. Deal?"

Renji nods. "Hey, Izuru?"

"Yeah?"

"I can really borrow your blanket?"

Izuru snorts, and goes to get it. He tosses it over Renji's feet, and then, realizing that his is much softer than Renji's own, reorganizes so the nicer one is on the bottom. "That one was easy."

"Once, in Rukongai, I got sick with a fever and I got the chills real bad. Everyone put their blanket on me and…" he trails off.

Izuru pats the mass of blankets. "I told you. Anything."

---

In a twist that surprises no one, Renji is bad at being depressed. The problem is that he is bored, but he still doesn't feel like doing anything.

"Do you want to get out of the room?"

"No, I want to stay here."

"Do you want to lift your weights?"

"No, I don't want to move."

"Do you want to talk about anything?"

"I don't even want to think about anything. That's the problem, actually. I keep thinking things I don't want to think about."

"You want to read a book?"

Renji wrinkles his nose. He's got blankets wrapped around his head, and if he weren't so sad, he would look really adorable. "Like homework?"

"No, like, for fun. I read a lot when I get depressed, it helps distract my mind."

Renji still looks perplexed. "But what do you read that's fun? I guess our history book is kinda interesting."

It dawns on Izuru suddenly. Renji has mentioned before that paper is rare out in Inuzuri, and that his schoolbooks are the first books he's ever owned. Every time Izuru thinks he has a handle on the awful dump Renji grew up in, he learns some new horrible detail, large or small that makes things seem even worse. "I've heard you tell stories before, " Izuru says slowly. "Not stories about yourself, but about made-up people or events? Stories you tell over and over?" He'd always found this performative storytelling sort of odd, but Renji seemed to enjoy it. He recalls Rukia telling stories once or twice, as well. She had seemed like an entirely different person.

"Yeah, sure," Renji agrees. "Like you would tell at a campfire, or when you're snowed in."

"We have books like that, here in civilization."

Renji looks confused. "But wouldn't the story just be the same every time?"

Izuru shrugs. "That is a limit of the medium, I suppose." He doesn't keep too many novels at school, but he does have a few. He immediately rejects all that have even the vaguest romantic subplot. Here's one that's almost entirely descriptions of the protagonist hacking his way through the War Beneath the Earth, described in loving detail. Izuru can't even remember if it has any female characters. He can remember that Momo hates it. "Here. Give this a try."

Renji looks deeply skeptical, but he sits up, rearranging his blanket cocoon, and accepts the book.

Izuru has been working on homework, but if Renji can take a day, so can he. He picks up the novel he hasn't touched in a week, and settles on his own bed, mirroring Renji.

Just two nerds, reading in their room, on a Saturday morning. This is nice.

---

The sky has clouded over but good, and fat raindrops are smacking against the window. So much for this morning's beautiful sunshine.

Izuru is engrossed in his book when there's a sharp rap at the window. He and Renji look up simultaneously to see Momo's rain-streaked face smushed against the glass. Both boys scramble to their feet to let her in.

"What are you doing, sneaking in here in the middle of the day?" Izuru exclaims.

"It's awful out there and about to get nastier," Momo explains. "No one's going to catch me. I brought supplies." She opens up the bag she's managed to haul up her two-story climb. "First of all, Izuru told me what he gave you to read, and it's unacceptable, so I went to the library for you." She unloads a pile of books into Renji's arms. He looks stricken. "Does that mean I have to stop reading mine? Because I really like it. It might be my favorite book."

Momo gives Izuru a dirty look, then turns back to Renji. "You may do whatever makes you happy," she offers generously. "Then, when you read my books, you will appreciate them more."

Izuru rolls his eyes.

"Next, have you been eating?"

"Stop being his mom," Izuru scolds. "And he ate the onigiri I brought him at lunchtime."

"Never had a mom," Renji ponders. "Momo can be my mom if she wants. You can be my dad, if it makes you feel better."

Their faces are both bright red. "Let's just stick with what we've got, okay?" Izuru suggests.

"Anyway, I was worried you hadn't eaten anything, so I went down to town and got you these." Momo presses a slightly greasy paper bag into his hands.

An overwhelmed, emotional look has come into Renji's eyes. "Is it taiyaki?"

"It is taiyaki," she confirms. "Eat it or not, it won't hurt my feelings." She clears her throat. "I have one more thing for you. If you don't want it--"

"I get it, already! You two are being so nice I'm gonna puke!"

Momo pulls a lumpy grey mass from her bag and thrusts it at Renji.

Very slowly, almost reverently, he puts his taiyaki bag down on his desk and accepts it.

Izuru doesn't get it. It looks like a standard issue dorm blanket, just like the one Renji uses.

Renji's fingers tighten in the scratchy wool. "How did you…?"

"It technically belongs with the room although I hear people make off with them all the time. I asked her roommate if I could swap it out with mine. I use one from home, so--"

Oh. Oh.

Renji cuts off her babbling with a rib-snapping hug. "Thank you, Momo," he whispers, his voice thick.

#1500 follower deleted scenes fest #me: this is so sappy and gross #also me: tearing up like 3 times at my own stupid writing

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scamanderishredmayniac · 2 years ago

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Ten First Lines

I was tagged by @uefb thanks for the tag. I just realised I don’t really have many fics posted online, most of them are WIP and still in my drafts. Some will probably never see the light of day, and nearly all of them or at maybe just most of them are written for my own amusement or entertainment. Even with those in my drafts etc I still probably have less than 10. I’ll probably add a few Harry Potter fanfic as well as Fantastic beasts stuff just to make up numbers. I’ve also noticed while going through half the fics for this post, that I don’t even know where half the stories are going, most of them are just ideas my head throws at me, so they’re just a bunch of idea with unknown destinations. Just because the ideas seem good when they pop into my head. Lol! Anyway here goes.

Rules: Share the first lines of ten of your fanfics and tag ten people. If you’ve written fewer than 10 fics, don’t be shy and share anyway. If you’re an artist or meta-writer, feel free to find a way to participate if you’d like. :) (notice I took out the word recent, because if I just post ten lines of recent work only, then I’d have even less to share).

1. Fantastic Beats and Where to find them: Of Beasts and Monsters

Newt rubbed his face as he looked out over Paris from the rooftops of the crypt.

I have one chapter posted on ao3, and trying to write chapter 2, I’ve started it, but it’s not going well. Lol! Newt is keeping secrets from Tina, one she shouldn’t know about and could land him into trouble and cost him their relationship.

2. The Magizoologist And The Human Mini-beasts

Newt stood transfixed at the scene before him with regret.

I posted this one somewhere on tumblr, but can’t find it through the tags system. It was part of the fantastic beasts week event from 2020 I think. The prompt for that day was to do a Fantastic beasts crossover with something else. This was a one shot, crossover with Kindergarten cop. If anyone has seen that movie, you’ll recognise the scene straight away. This one was a fun write. I may make it into a full story instead of just a one shot in the future. We’ll see. Tina is poorly and Newt is made to take on one her cases, but Newt’s not sure he wants to, and questioning what he’s doing there.

3. Letters From Home

Tina woke to the sun streaming in through the window, the light dazzling her eyes as she fought to open them.

This one was for day 3 of the Fantastic beasts week 2020 challenge. While it is posted as a one shot, and can be read as a separate thing, it will eventually be a part of Fantastic beasts: of beasts and monsters. (I guess I’m cheating. Look it still counts ok). Tina gets a letter from Toliver after the Paris incident, Newt and Jacob try to comfort her.

4. Creatures

Newt and Leta were sitting in their usual place in the little room, where Newt had kept his creatures hidden from prying eyes.

This one was day 1 of my Newty November challenge, the word prompt had been creatures so I did a one shot here on tumblr. It should be somewhere floating around. I think I could find this one, so might share link to it some point. We’ll see. Its just a short little ficlet thing, where Newt and Leta are tending to a new creature they’ve just found.

5. Of magical creatures

Newt stood watching the group of people who would be his students for the next few weeks, perhaps a month or even a year.

This one lives in my drafts and still unsure weather I will actually post this one anywhere at the moment. I wrote this as a sort of fun bit of writing, more for myself than anything. I wanted to explore and AU where Newt is asked to teach and train a few adults on magizoology, as a career path at Hogwarts. Dumbledore is headmaster of the school and thinks there should be more magizoologists in the world, helping Newt’s cause, and suggests Newt uses the school to teach a selection of adult students.

6. Fantastic Beasts and where to find them: The Newt and The Salamander

The Scamander twins had been very close and had a strong bond growing up, but as of late things had changed.

This is one that will probably never see the light of day, and will probably stay in my drafts as a hidden story, just for my eyes only I think. I wrote this one for my own entertainment. As you can see another AU. It starts off with the incident with the jarvey and Newt’s expulsion from Hogwarts, as the catalyst for the twin’s fall out. But after the events of Paris Newt needs to stop running, and avoiding his sister and enlist her help to bring down Grindelwald. Bonds have been broken, but must be reforged in order to work together. Newt is guilt ridden, his sister is angry. They must put grudges and mistakes of the past behind them and work together.

7. The Ring

Newt tried hard to stand still as Theseus straightened his bow for the umpteenth time. He was starting to regret the whole thing.

This one is going to be a two part one shot, which is a work in progress that I’m half way through. It’s part of a February word prompt challenge I took up, but never really managed to finish on time. I was so busy with doing the challenge I was hosting, that I only managed to do this in dribs and drabs alongside the picture for part two and parts of the fic for part two.

8. The Dinner Date

Newt and Tina made their way to a table near the back of the restaurant, a waiter taking their coats and pulling out Tina’s chair for her as she made to sit down.

This is part two of The Ring, again from the same word prompt challenge. The story beginning above being the word prompt ring, and this one the word prompt being Dinner date. As I say I’m working on a fan art to go with this one. I thought i’d finished it, but realised there were mistakes to the artwork and need to fix it. And also realised I’d forgotten to add things to it, so I have to go back and fix the picture. Started the story to this one, but realised I need to fix a few things because I don’t know much about dating etiquettes, and now realised I’m going to have to change the plot a little. I actually started the ring one after realising I needed to change parts of this story. I needed to make this one interesting somehow, so the ring was my way of fixing the mistake on this one. The mistake to this story was supposed to help make things a bit more interesting, but after asking a friend’s advice, I realised it wouldn’t work. So the ring had to be a part of it to make it a bit more I don’t know. Give it back story I guess.

9. Halloween At Hogwarts

With it being the first of October, the weather was changing, and autumn was now in full bloom.

This is or was a spin off to another story I’m working on. Things are not going well at Hogwarts and it’s up to Harry and his friends to stop whatever is haunting the school. What starts of as a fun Halloween game, becomes a Halloween nightmare for the staff and students at Hogwarts. This is the first long fanfic I actually managed to finish. I’m really bad at finishing long stuff.

10. The Scrooge Of Hogwarts

The students had gone home for the holidays, which meant it would be peaceful and quiet at Hogwarts.

A one shot story in which Snape is visited by three spirits. A HP and Scrooge crossover, I wrote for Christmas. This was a fun one to write, some of my friends and colleagues thought it was a fun read too.

Wow ok I actually didn’t do too badly, I managed to at least find 8 Fantastic beasts related stuff to post first lines of. Not bad. I thought it would be less. From doing this little exercise, I have learned that just writing the first line of your story doesn’t promote it well. Especially if they’re short one liners. Eek! That’s why I added a little description after each one, to make them sound a little more interesting. Lol! Ouch!

Ok to tag 10 people, I’m not sure who to tag and don’t know if I know 10 people to tag. I’ll just tag one or two and then anyone else who wants to do it can do. I tag, @newt-and-salamander @afrenchaugurey @snapeysister (I don’t know if you do writing or not, but you can post pictures and fan art to stories you read if you like for the challenge). @themysteriousphoenix And that’s it, I can’t remember anyone else who writes. Sorry if I’ve missed anyone out. Even if I’ve not mentioned you, and you want to take part, then please do.

#tagging game #first lines #fanfic #writing #just for fun

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gummybugg · 2 years ago

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Happy Worldbuilding Wednesday!

In your world, what happens when people get sick/injured? What are the kinds of help they can hope for? Are there properly trained doctors or something similar?

Happy WBW, thanks for the ask!

(mild warning in tags)

You see, remember how in the last ask, I said I took inspiration from Real Life? It totally applies here, as well!

When your Average Citizen has an ouchie or a boo-boo in Crater City, they will generally take care of it themselves. Ambulence? What, do you want a police escort, too? The average citizen scoffs at those able to afford such luxuries. It is almost unheard of to get diagnosed and go into emergency surgery the same day.

Sitting in draft mode, collecting dust, is a scene in which I plan on explaining the Healthcare System in Crater City a bit more. Blair gets a toothache and must wait 6 months to fix it. "They said it looked like a termite made a home out my tooth," he says. He ends up pulling the decayed tooth out himself once the pain becomes unbearable (goodbye, permanent molar).

In another scene, we find out that there aren't really any reputable doctors or even therapists in Crater City, where Darcy tells Blair

"You just weren’t cut out for Neo-civilization. Maybe you could have been back then, when everyone still had doctors and insane asylums. But there’s none of that left."

The lack of Healthcare providers is mostly due to the staggering amount of citizens willing to go to/pay for college in a scary, post-apocalyptic setting where tomorrow is never promised. It's Very Dangerous in and out of the city border. Yet, Crater City is the most sought-after city in the country. A beacon of hope, some might say.

-------

Crater City Taglist:

@writeouswriter

@lyra-brie

#thanks for the ask!#mention of surgery/medical #crater city wip #my wip #worldbuilding wednesday #blair #darcy #i did forget to put the taglist in the other asks but will slap it here #i do apologize

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kaliawai512-v2 · 2 years ago

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Hey!

I’m trying to develop my own writing skills, but I am a little baby in the world of writing so I’m seeking help and I think your writing is really cool and it makes me happy. So I found my way here.

But I just wanted to ask if you could tell me anything about your writing process? Like how you work with drafts, plotting, editing and how you manage the time/motivation to write so much holy cow! Also how long have you been writing consistantly?

Okay that’s a lot of questions at once, sorry. 😂

Anyway I hope you enjoy your day! ;)

Hiya!!

Aww, thank you so much! I’m so glad you enjoy my writing, and thank you for leaving such kind comments <3 Absolutely, I’m happy to share my experience! Sorry that this is a veeeeeeeery long reply XD

I don’t have a super-neat process for managing drafts. When I get an idea for a story, I jot it down, but I try not to force it. I let it sit in the back of my head and it will either develop or fade into oblivion. If I’ve got enough ideas that it seems like it could make a full story, I start organizing it into scenes and/or chapters (depending on the length). There will often be some “blanks” in between major events, and I fill those in as I get inspiration.

Once I’ve got at least a mostly complete outline, I start writing. And this is where I’m a massive weirdo: I write completely out of order. I’ll write a bit of a scene in Chapter 17 and then a snippet in Chapter 1, and oh, now I figured out how the final chapter will end so I’m writing that now, and then a bit in Chapter 6 … you get the picture XD This process probably won’t work for most people, but I’ve been doing it for around ten years now (yes, I am a Tumblr grandma) and it works great for me - even though it does lead to a bit more editing down the line.

I don’t edit at all as I go, and I try not to start editing until I’m at least a good ways through writing. When I am ready to edit, I read everything out loud - this helps me catch things I might not miss and helps me get a sense for what “sounds” right on the sentence level. It also wears down my voice a bit, so I don’t edit a ton at once.

And I’m flattered you think so highly of my motivation!! But I have a secret to share … I don’t write consistently - at least not in the long run XD If I’m working toward a specific goal, then I try to write fairly consistently (I also love NaNoWriMo). But I find that if I have to force myself to write over and over, then it’s worth questioning whether I’m having fun with the project. Every project has its tough parts, and sometimes you just have to power through if you want to see the end product. But there’s no glory in just tormenting yourself all the time - especially when you’re writing fanfic.

Lately, I write at least 500 words daily - sometimes up to 5-6k. But this is a writing binge. Prior to this February, I hadn’t written consistently in around six months. And before that binge, a lot longer. Why? I have a lot going on in my life. Writing is one of my passions, and at the moment, purely done for fun - and that’s not a bad thing! My creativity in various areas comes and goes, and I’ve learned to accept when it wanes and just do other things for a while. It always comes back eventually.

But the biggest piece of advice I can give you is: figure out what YOU like. Because your goals aren’t mine, and your life isn’t mine! I hope that my experience will offer you something (and questions are ALWAYS welcome <3) but you should always do what works best for you. Absolutely reach out to lots of writers and get their takes, but don’t take any piece of writing advice without a grain of salt. As far as I’m concerned, there are no hard-fast rules in writing.

Have fun with writing, give yourself space to practice on projects you enjoy, and if you can, keep the pressure low! I wish you all the best in your journey and I know you’re going to make amazing things <3

Hope you have a great day as well! :D

#writing #writing tips #asks and answers

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theghostpinesmusic · 8 months ago

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Sabbatical Project Preface Draft (1/4)

So, I know I haven't been posting any trip reports or jam write-ups lately, and while I sincerely doubt the lack of my words is leaving a significant hole in your life, I wanted to explain why and share something slightly different in this post.

Basically, I've switched tacks within the last month from the "reading" phase of my sabbatical project to the "writing" phase, and while taking an hour of my day to write about something fun online after reading dense theory books for 4-6 hours became a welcome diversion over the last few months, taking an hour of my day to write about something fun online after already writing for 4-6 hours that day is...less welcome.

So, while I have lots of thoughts on my recent trips to the Deschutes River canyon and to the snowy rim of the Mountain Lakes caldera, and there are always more Goose jams to write about, all that stuff's been sitting in my Drafts folder for awhile because once I write for work all day I kind of just don't want to look at screens anymore.

That said, I thought it might be fun to share a bit of what I have been writing lately. I don't have a publisher for this project yet (and may never, who knows?) so there's no legal issue with sharing it for free...and it's just a first draft anyway. I have no idea if there will be a finished project (i.e., a full book) or if it will ever be published, but what I proposed for my sabbatical was that I finish a book proposal by the end of the year, and that typically includes an introduction and two example chapters. So I am writing at least that much, and hopefully carrying on beyond that from there.

For now, what I have is a sort of preface, laying out a little about me and where I'm coming from, including a few gestures toward what the book is going to be about. Again, this is a first draft, and it may well be that none of it will end up anywhere. But for now I'm happy with it and have moved on to working on the first chapter, which is about halfway done. I suppose I'll share that too once it's fit to be read.

I'm breaking the preface into four parts here, just in case anyone actually reads it and doesn't necessarily want to have to deal with one monster post containing all the text. So, here's the first part!

As I sit here at my desk, beginning to write the first draft of a preface for this book about summits and circumnavigations, lines and circles, I can’t help but be aware of one particular circle: Earth’s circle around the sun. My home office – a luxury born of necessity, back when COVID-19 shut down campuses but not classes – has one west-facing window, and there is a brief period of time every clear-weather day – longest in summer, nearly non-existent in winter – when the sun lifts itself above the roof of my neighbor’s house and shines through the maze of coleus standing rapt on my side of the window to heat the northwest corner of this room to an almost intolerable temperature. The air temperature on the bottom floor of my house is currently sixty-eight degrees, and the outside temperature is fifty-five. Out of curiosity, I put a small thermometer on the window sill, directly in the sunlight, and the mercury immediately jumps to almost ninety degrees.

Suffice to say that it’s difficult to sit here at four o’clock in the afternoon on a clear April day and not think about the sun. I am that seemingly rare person who would always rather be a little too cold than a little too hot, but I didn’t put my desk in this corner of the room as some idiosyncratic form of self-flagellation. I put it here initially, during COVID-19 lockdown, out of a conscious desire to be able to see the birds as they sang to welcome another spring, unknowingly, blessedly immune. Post-lockdown, I resumed doing most of my work on campus, but on the occasional day that I do work from home, I find that I enjoy having the sun to remind me of the Earth’s rhythms from the other side of the pane of glass that keeps me sealed in this human-made, climate-controlled room – a room that ostensibly exists to distract and protect me from those very same rhythms.

Today, as the sun shines in through the window, it heats up the wet dirt that my recently-watered coleus are growing in, and, briefly – until my nose becomes accustomed to it – the smell of humus fills the room. It’s a smell that has brought me comfort for as long as I can remember, dating back to my early childhood days in Ohio, playing in the backyard after summer rainstorms that you could almost set your watch by. I’d always imagined this to be an idiosyncratic reaction until I read Robin Wall Kimmerer’s beautiful book Braiding Sweetgrass thirty-five years after those first memories of rain and dirt and learned that the smell of humus releases oxytocin, “the same chemical that promotes bonding between mother and child, between lovers” (236). This is one of those wonderful facts that science can “teach” us but is really just reminding us of something we’ve known all along: of course we’re bonded to the Earth as we’re bonded to our mothers, our partners, our children: it’s the dirt that will embrace all of us last, and most finally, after all.

The very word “human” even reflects this truth, as it originates from the Proto-Indo-European root word “*dhghem-,” meaning “earth.” Thus, we literally call ourselves “earthlings,” people “of the earth,” and yet we still so easily forget the truth of something so elemental, so foundational to our existence on this planet as our relationship to dirt. And, as this corner of my office falls back into shade for another day, the Earth spinning me away from the sun, the sun spinning the Earth toward another Oregon spring – circles within circles – I find myself wondering, not for the first time: why?

#writing #research

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winterburnwriting · 11 months ago

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Well, in my last post I said I was sick and would get back here in about 10 days. That was a little over 10 days ago, so here I am. I feel much better now, but the break in writing has made it hard to get back into the habit of doing. I have been writing, though. The short novel is now at 14,000 words or so.

The past few days have been pretty productive. I've been getting good hours in, and I got to write a more interesting part of the short novel. I basically wrapped up act 1 and now I'm starting act 2. Act 1 was 4 chapters, but Act 2 might be 5 or 6, depending on how inspired I am for content in the travelogue style.

In terms of word count, I think it will end up looking like 15k words for act 1, 20-25k words for act 2, and 5-10k words for act 3, which might only be a chapter or two long. I don't think this is such an unusual format. I do think I might cut a good chunk of act 1 out, though, as it feels like it drags quite a bit and I think readers would like to get into the travelogue portion faster. It depends how much I end up being able to come up with for act 2.

Tonight I should be able to get a few more hours of writing in. Given the rate things are going, I am hoping to finish my draft by the end of april at the latest. It might be a little earlier or a little later, but that's my hope. Then it's on to an extensive edit where I retool the content and flair a lot of the phrases. I think that'll take a month, at least.

I feel good about my progress though. The short novel should be published by mid summer, if all goes well. Then it's on to my big first novel!

Just a reminder - The names and content are all subject to change. Graphic imagery may be present in all previews. Here's this post's preview excerpt!

"Okay. You're right. Let's haul it in."

Lucy and Bram left the house, grabbed the air mattress and its proprietary air compressor, and returned to the same spot inside. Lucy held one end and walked away from Bram with it so it would be laying flat. She bent down to plug the air compressor hose into the fixture on the mattress itself. "Perfect!" Bram exclaimed. Lucy raised herself back up and drew a short icy breath, her eyes growing like balloons.

Bram looked at her, puzzled and with a raised eyebrow. The mulleted man with broken teeth from the diner was standing right behind him. Bram didn't notice. Lucy tried to speak - to warn him - but she couldn't exert more than air as the stranger raised one hand as if he were a cat about to catch a mouse. "What? Is somethi-" Bram was interrupted. Lucy couldn't tell what kind of strike the stranger had performed before she felt a pain on the back of her head and heard a ringing.

…

Bram woke up, startled. He struggled against a weight. His arms felt strange. They were numb. He noticed his legs felt similarly strange. Strangest of all was his head, however. It wasn't on a pillow. It wasn't on the ground. He opened his eyes and saw he was sitting up on his knees. His arms were immobile. He blinked several times and looked at himself again to see he was bound in rope and chains. The mist was as thick as milk in whatever room this was. It looked like a dungeon.

"Bram?" He heard Lucy say. "Bram???" She repeated.

"L-...Lucy? Honey?"

"I'm over here."

Bram turned his head around, still groggy, and found where Lucy was. He also shook his head as if realizing something. "God, what is that smell? It-" He began before jumping aback. There was a man in the room. Or Bram assumed he was a human man.

The figure stood some 7 or 8 feet tall, with a body just as wide, if not wider. He was drenched in velvet and silk robes and garments, all cobalt, violet, and fir. His head was as round and bald as a golf ball, and just as empty except for 2 large antlers protruding straight back from the back of his head, quite unlike antlers on a stag. The antlers supported what little blonde hair flowed off of the man’s pale head.

#author #creative writing #novel writing #writing #fiction #books #horror #vampire #current wip

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lgnite-me · 2 years ago

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Found this in my drafts. Basically just fluff, and domestic Nessian. Cassian being a proud father. Anyways, enjoy. Again, this is like one of the first times I’ve ever written so please be kind. Might make a second part not sure yet. Also the child has no name so if anybody has any suggestions, please let me know!

*update- just realized there was an entire paragraph missing 😭 its fixed now

——————-——————————————————

Cassian knew his daughter was smart.

Had seen it from the first moment she’d opened those gray-blue eyes, and looked at him in wonder and curiosity. Besides those eyes, she looked like him, everything from the black hair to the tiny wings that had protruded from her back, so soft and fragile he was afraid of touching them. But everything else was Nesta’s. The curious mind, the wits and cleverness that emerged much earlier than they should have.

She’d started walking much earlier than most babies, even by fae standards. She’d stood up and walked by herself at 6 months, and Cassian had been so damn proud he’d nearly burst with the excitement of telling his family all about it. She’d begun talking at 9 months and was able to speak pretty clearly by 12 months. It was a wonder to Cassian, where she could have gotten these advanced abilities from. He knew damn well it wasn’t from him. It was most likely Nesta.

The first indication that she was truly above average was one night when they were all gathered together as a family. Nyx, at 4 years, was drawing something that seemed to resemble constellations, and his own daughter was sitting on the ground in front of the fire, watching them all with those inquisitive eyes of hers. Nesta sat right behind her, fixing her hair every once in a while or just holding her hand for a moment. Mor was lounging on a chaise to the side of the fire with Emerie sleeping on her lap, and Feyre was similarly curled up in Rhy’s lap, who was deep in conversation with Az about some random topic that Cassian had no desire to listen to.

The only thing Cassian could focus on was Nesta and his daughter. He couldn’t help but be enraptured by the sight, so absorbed in his own thoughts that he almost missed when his daughter said “I think there’s many!”

She’d said it with such a big smile on her face and tiny fists thrown in the air that at first, he thought she was talking to Nesta, but then realized it had been directed towards the couch where Rhys and Azriel had been talking. They both startled at the realization that she had been addressing them, but their expressions changed quickly when they took a moment to digest her comment.

“And why do you think that?” Az asked smoothly, interest and amusement shining through his words.

His daughter looked like she was thinking for a moment, then quickly said,

“Because there has to be!”

Cassian really had no idea what was going on. He’d tuned out the conversation an hour ago when they’d veered into some topic he cared nothing for. Now though, his interest was piqued.

“What are we talking about?” He demanded, as he turned to face his brothers.

Rhy’s face was drawn up in amusement as well, looking at his daughter, and completely ignoring Cassian’s question.

Well, Cassian thought, now that I actually want to know what’s going on, he won’t even tell me.

He watched in amazement as his daughter began talking to Azriel in an almost completely clear voice using some words that he didn’t even know. She was rambling on and on and Cassian managed to catch on that they were discussing something about the theories of the Universes and that model that Rhys and Az loved to stare at. Apparently, it had caught the attention of his daughter, and she had begun intently listening to Rhys and Az’s conversations and formulating her own thoughts.

Cassian still wasn’t entirely sure exactly what this theory entailed, but he was so proud of his daughter, he couldn’t help the grin that had broken out onto his face the minute she’d started directly addressing his brothers. He was so proud of her he could cry

***

#nesta archeron #nesta acotar #acotar headcanon #acotar fanfiction #acotar #feysand #emorie #azriel #rhysand #feyre #cassian acotar #cassian #fluff #fluffy #domestic fluff #nessian #nesta x cassian

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cafeinthemoon · 2 years ago

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Don’t Leave Home - Chapter IX

Chapter 9/?

Wordcount 3,2k

Title Festival

Fandom Jujutsu Kaisen

Pairing Toji Fushiguro X reader

Read the previous chapters

1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5 . 6 . 7 . 8

Symbols ⭕ . ➕ . 💛

Warning (s) none, the same of the previous chapter 😘

Tagging @brumous11, @darling-imobsessed, @areusquinn (are you still using this @ bc I can't tag you 😭) (if you want to be tagged in any of my stories, just send an ask or a message 😉)

N. A. So... After 7 fricking months (I guess), a new chapter of my beloved Toji fic is out today! 😭😭😭 You have no idea how I missed writing for him and his cute baby!

Anyways, just as I imagined, there will be an epilogue for this story, so that the present chapter might be considered the last one. In the epilogue, we will have a time skip, with some hints of their life together and an important conversation between mom reader and a teenage Megumi, for which I have a draft that brought tears to my eyes while I wrote it.

I want to thank every person who came here, read, liked, commented and showed support to this work, for it was my first story with these characters and a shot in the dark precisely because of this. I hope I did a good job in my representation of them as well as in putting baby!Megumi in the arms of the right people lol

Love, Debs 💜

You spent the whole morning at Toji’s house, helping him out with Megumi, recovering from the episode with the robber and working on yourselves.

At first, the baby was not willing to take another medicine – it was already difficult for him to eat even when you made his favorite food for breakfast earlier – but with patience you managed to convince him. He spent some time weeping because of the medicine’s weird taste after taking it, as well as for the sickness’ remaining symptoms, only stopping after tiring himself. From your part, you were not hungry and didn’t bother yourself sitting at the table, but you accepted the mug with black coffee Toji offered you and went to the sofa to sip it while he took the boy in his arms, taking him for a warm bath.

You took the opportunity to check on your phone for messages and missed calls, but there was nothing new, mostly to your relief: that time you just needed to rest. You left the phone in silent mode, putting it in your bag.

You laid your head on the sofa’s back and didn’t notice when you fell asleep again.

***

As midday approached, Megumi’s mood became a bit lighter, but he didn’t want to play, neither he wanted to sleep. You stood with him on the sofa while Toji went to the kitchen to cook something for lunch. You tried to refuse the meal by saying you could buy something on your way home, but your boyfriend stated that his girl was not going to leave his house starving.

– But I’m not even hungry! – you laughed – I’m still feeling the coffee in my stomach.

– You’re just afraid to prove my food – he replied, heading to the kitchen; and, already out of your sight, – But that’s something you’ll have to overcome sooner or later, darling.

-– Not gonna lie, I’m a bit afraid.

His response to your teasing came with feigned frustration, between the sounds of pans and tools upon the sink.

– You’re hurting my feelings with this, you know?

– Hmm I’m sorry – you giggled; Megumi, who has been silently watching your interaction, yelled something, as to join the conversation, making you laugh and turn to him – You see, Megumi-chan? Your father has quite a sensibility!

While the baby tried to speak, the sensitive father growled under the sound of vegetables being sliced:

– I heard that too!

***

You kept working as Megumi’s babysitter even after starting to date his father. Though you were doing this out of love, the need of money could not be denied, and you’ve already talked to Toji about your issues in this sense. When he asked if you had any idea of how much time you would need to fix them, you said you estimated three or four months. He then wanted to know what you were going to do after that, and you explained that you wanted to search for jobs in your study area.

– That’s a good plan, love – he complimented – But if you want me to keep paying you as a babysitter, that’d be good for me too. Fortunately or not, the kind of stuff I do will keep me employed for the rest of my life.

It also made sense to keep things professional for yet another reason: you both agreed that you shouldn’t move in together before making sure that you would work as a couple. Yes, you knew you were going to have fun and wanted to make it work, but you were aware that things don’t always go as we plan. And it would be better for the baby in case your plans went wrong; besides, you two shared the opinion that no matter how much love and good will were involved, making a mess with money was usually the main reason why family lives go down the drain.

Apart from the mundane, practical aspects of a relationship’s beginning, you couldn’t forget about the unsettling – you didn’t want to say supernatural or fantastic – side of the story: the secret behind Toji’s abnormal strength, his concern about his son’s resemblance with him, his strange connection with his family and the nature of his work. In comparison to everything you told him about yourself – if you didn’t count what he found out by himself – there were many things you were yet to know about him. Was all of this a shot in the dark? Yes, even more than your last relationship was.

But you couldn’t say you were regretting it.

***

Your first date coincided with the next calendar’s festival, to your own joy and Megumi’s: it was a breath of fresh air for you who hasn’t hanged out in a long time, both by the lack of time and money, and a happy opportunity for the little boy, who was reaching the age when he was supposed to start interacting with other people besides his relatives.

Toji, on the other hand, didn’t seem so excited when you came up with the idea.

At first, you thought he was just being grumpy or had some professional stuff to deal with and wasn’t wiling to tell you, but the thing is that he wasn’t fond of anything that resembled traditional events, so that he had little interest in taking part in it, preferring to engage in average, mundane entertainment alternatives. Not that it surprised you: since the start, he seemed what people would call a man of the world. Still, he was able to recognize when something was important to his loved ones, so that when you talked to him about your reasons to go and mentioned the effect it would have in his son, he agreed in attending the festival.

It was decided that you would not babysit that day, and he was not going to work as well: he would stay with Megumi and you would make your preparations separately, then you would pass by his house and you three would go together.

At the planned hour, you stopped in front of his door and took a deep breath. So… that was going to be your first date. Your first time hanging out as a couple. Should you be this nervous, after knowing him for months? You sighed. You were being dramatic, and you knew that. Toji would probably laugh if you say that to him.

You raised your hand… but never reached the bell.

The door was opened and you found Toji wearing a grey and black yukata, holding the baby on his right arm. You noticed he cut his hair, and thought it was better this way.

– You were breathing so loud that even Megumi heard you, darling – he smirked, touching your cheek with his fingertips – Come here.

His hand surrounded your waist and brought you closer, and you stood on tip toes to give him a kiss in response. Megumi, with his cute “mamas”, touched the gold hairpin that tied your hair up when you approached; you started talking about the pretty clothes his father got for him. It’s been weeks since he has recovered from that sickness, but you still found his endurance incredible: anyone who came to see and hear him now would never suspect he got sick that year. Maybe there was a great chance for him to become like his father in the future, but that didn’t seem so bad when you thought of it now.

You were wearing a yukata as well, but yours was of a more vibrant mixture of shades, with flowers of soft pink upon a magenta background. After playing with your hairpin, Megumi’s attention went to the colors of your clothes, since they were so different from what you used to wear.

– He’s so observant that sometimes I forget he’s still a baby! – you laughed while taking him in your arms; the boy tapped your shoulders with his tiny hands as a response.

– Ha! Can’t believe you only realized that now – Toji went to the house’s interior to take the baby’s bag, laughing.

He got back in a second and you headed to the nearest station.

***

Later, as you waited for the next train, Toji explained that the main source of his stress regarding those events lied on the social obligation of wearing traditional garment, something that reminded him of the time at his family’s house.

– They feel weird on my body, you know – he adjusted a sleeve as he spoke – I don’t even know why I brought this with me when I left. The guy who used to wear this is dead now, and he should stay like this.

You were fixing the baby’s collar while listening to him. You immediately stopped when he said that: you took a moment to understand that he was talking about himself.

– Ah… – you glanced behind – Look, it’s early. We still have some time if you want to go back and change these clothes...

You were going to say that you just wanted him to feel comfortable in the first place, but he didn’t let you finish.

– Nope. Don’t do this to yourself, darling – and with his index finger upon your lips, – It’s just one night. It won’t kill anyone.

The train’s arrival ended the conversation for you.

***

The sound of music reached you ears even before your feet crossed the festival’s entry.

Megumi, whose big eyes were wandering from one side to the other, absorbing every little thing from the new environment, almost jumped from your lap when he heard the cheerful noise: he was used to listen to the radio in low volume with you, so that the difference between the soft, recorded jams and the live performance by the traditional musicians wouldn’t go unnoticed by his little ears.

Toji laughed with the scene.

– That’s how real music sounds like, Megumi-chan – and with a glance at you – If you know what I mean.

You joined the game and gave him an annoyed humpf.

– Your father was today years old when he found out the Beatles are not American, Megumi-chan – you turned to the boy – Music is not his specialty, you know?

Now Toji was the offended one.

– Maybe, but my ears work quite well.

When you turned to him to reply, he looked away, but not so fast to hide the smile growing on his lips. You approached him and leaned your head on his shoulder, startling a bit when he passed an arm around you.

You didn’t need to walk for too long to see yourselves surrounded by countless tents selling food, offering games and anything you could imagine; above them, the bright decoration and the lines of lamps that were waiting for the evening to be turned on were hanging softly under the influence of the breeze. Everywhere you look, there was joy and beauty for you to appreciate.

The place wasn’t crowded yet, so that you could walk freely and observe your surroundings without interruptions. Thanks to this, when you were passing by one of the tents selling sweets Megumi spotted his favorite treat and started pointing at it with little screams of swee! Swee!

– So soon… – sighing, Toji headed to the tent to buy the sweets while you stood at another tent with the baby.

You were telling him that his dad was going to bring the sweet for him soon when a well known voice called you from behind.

– So… when were you going to present me your son, y/n-chan?

You turned around to find Mari dressed in a red yukata and a large smile on her face. Megumi looked at her and smiled, his little hands stretching to reach the hairpin’s jewels dangling between her hair. You told her he did the same with yours.

– Awn, you have such a good taste, don’t you? – she took the baby’s hands into hers – You’re such a pretty boy!

While he yelled something that Mari understood as a “thank you”, you say you thought she was on vacation. Your friend sighed and straightened up.

– Well, I should be on vacation, but we had a problem at work and now I’m gonna have to stay for a couple more days. That stupid Takahashi from the Human Resources department! It’s all his fault! Just promise me, y/n, that you will be a better professional than him when you get your degree!

You shrugged, not wanting to laugh at Mari’s little tantrum and make things even worse.

– I will do my best…

The conversation was interrupted when Megumi turned and saw his father coming back with his treat. The baby started jumping in your arms, happy to see the expected gift, as you noticed Mari silently observing the tall, broad man taking the spot beside you and bow down to give the sweet to his son, then turned to her to say hi.

– Hey. Toji Fushiguro, right? – she glanced at you with a look of you’re gonna to pay for not telling me half of the story, then gave him her largest smile – Y/n talked a lot about you. I’m Mari, by the way.

And then our worst fears became true: by the way Toji smirked and made a casual comment on how surprising was for him to know you talked that much about him and how frustrated Mari looked for not meeting him before, you knew none of them would leave you alone for that entire month.

***

The little amount of time it took for Megumi to get along with Mari to the point she could carry him in her arms and make him forget about you for minutes straight was surprising even to you, despite what Toji said about him enjoying being picked up by other women.

Now your friend was playing a game at a tent, trying to win a teddy bear for the baby, but as far as you could see, Megumi was more interested in the game itself than in the prize, pointing his little fingers at the dices and colorful pieces she was tossing inside the bowl: he had enough toys at home and, as you already noticed, he wasn’t as fond of stuffed animals and dolls as much as he was of cards and colorful bricks, which suggested his future preferences. When you talked about this to Toji one day, he replied that this wasn’t a big a surprise to him at all, but “it would be good if the little guy grew up to become smarter than me, you know?”. You sighed and told him not to speak about himself that way, for his own sake and the baby’s, but he just laughed and kissed your cheek in response.

– Good to have you trying to heal my soul like this, darling.

It was already dark, and the lamps were turned on a few minutes ago, revealing an interesting sequence of colors with the predominance of red, pink and blue. The crowd was getting thicker, and you had to stick to your boyfriend’s arm to not stay behind. Mari, who finally won the game, rushed back to your side while Megumi was holding the bear; it wasn’t as big as she promised him, but it was just as cute, and he seemed content in holding auntie Mari’s gift in a tight embrace.

At some point, you reached an enormous stone staircase that would lead to the upper gardens, where you would find benches to rest your feet (or not, since there seemed to be even more people up there) and an incredible view of the entire festival. Because you haven’t spent even an hour at the event, none of you were really tired, so you three accepted to face the stairs… and after minutes of what felt like a true climb, you reached the gardens. Toji was the only one who wasn’t panting, while you took a moment to finally being able to speak again and Mari only arrived some time later, not much better than yourself: she made some pauses along the way because of the baby, who was staring at her and wondering where did all her energy go. You offered to hold him for a moment, but she said she was fine and soon approached a bench occupied by some teenagers; she convinced them to give her a spot only by standing near with the child, but you knew that she wasn’t above pretending a fainting or anything to get the bench only for her.

You crossed your arms and observed the scene with a sort of worry.

– I wonder if it’s a good idea to leave Megumi with her for so long. I’m not so fond of the influence she might have over him…

You heard your boyfriend chuckling by your side, then a strong hand reached your waist, bringing you closer to him.

– Whereas I myself not only approve her as my son’s new auntie but also understand exactly what she’s trying to do – and when you turned to him and met his smirk, – And you should have done it too by now, love.

Well, after that you couldn’t say you haven’t: Mari was acting like a true friend, trying to get you some time alone with your man, as you still haven’t had since your made it all official. You glanced at her one last time, but she was so distracted in her conversation with the baby that she didn’t notice, or pretended she didn’t.

Toji led you through a narrow path between a line of benches and flowerbeds, stopping at the woody parapet painted in red, through which you could see the various tents down there and the people going from one to another; beyond them, there was another part of the gardens that you would probably not visit that time because of its extension, but your current spot was a privileged one, making it possible for you to appreciate the beauty of the trees under the last light of the day: at the horizon, there was a thin, orange line left by the sun, blended with pink and purple above it, changing the shades of everything.

When you stopped by the red bar, you noticed it was at your chest’s height. A bit annoying, really, but you were still able to appreciate the landscape.

Toji decided to make it the next target of his provocations.

– Is everything okay down there? – his fingers tickled your back – Want me to lift you?

You turned to him to reply, but never had the chance to do so: he passed his hands on your waist and took you in his arms, so that you had to throw your arms around his neck to keep your balance; you let out a little gasp, making him laugh.

– Wow, what is it? Are you afraid of heights, darling?

– Do you want me to slap you in front of everybody? – you replied, not holding back your own laughter.

It wasn’t so dark for you to not see each other’s face yet. Thanks to this, you found a playful look in his green eyes and a grin that matched the verbal response you received for your threat.

– I’m dying to see you doing it.

You touched his face, but not in a slap: your fingers caressed his jawline, as your thumb rushed over the scar on the corner of his mouth.

– Be patient, then – you kissed his lips, smiling – I wanna be gentle first.

#jjk fanfic #jujutsu kaisen fanfic #jjk x reader #jjk x y/n #jjk x you #jjk toji #toji x reader #toji fushiguro x reader #toji fic #toji fluff

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adelheidvonschicksal · 4 years ago

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182 Centimeters | Tall!F!Reader x Surprise

A great boon has been bestowed upon Aoi Todo. First, he got to meet Takada in person. Second, he gained a brother. Third, he was able to fight a special grade all in one month.

Is there anything else that could make this trip perfect?

Todo didn't think so until he lays eyes on you, standing in the middle of the hallway with luggage tucked under one arm and the other holding onto a rolling suitcase. He remembers now about Mai mentioning a late edition transfer student who was going to be joining in the school games a little late. He only wishes Mai had warned him about the other thing about you. The fact that you are an amazon in the flesh.

"She has to be 187," Todo thinks upon first seeing you and sizing you up from a respectable distance. "No, she's definitely closer to 185. Definitely, 185," he corrects as he tries to measure you by judging how far your head was away from the top door frame. When he glances down at your feet, he realizes his stupid mistake and smacks himself on the forehead. "I'm such an idiot. I forgot about her shoes." Taking your soles into account, he finally narrows down your height range. You have to be 182cm. An even 6 feet. That makes you taller than even Takada!

Todo's eyes widen upon the realization.

You had half his attraction factor right there; and with his help in training, you would definitely have the second half. He knows plenty of exercises that would make your ass look great and have the rest of your body strong enough to toss any curse. You guys could make training into dates, and dates would lead to the two of you making kissy faces. Aoi can already picture it. Naturally, you'd be admiring him, shirtless and glistening with sweat, unable to take your eyes off him. Then, you'd grow embarrassed when he would call you out on it and try to look away like you were never staring in the first place. Luckily for you, he wouldn't mind if you wanted to look at his chiseled chest a little while longer. Or better yet, touch it.

Todo isn't sure what he's done to deserve such luck. Perhaps the world is rewarding him for finally breaking his record of 1000 sit-ups in an hour or maybe it's the limited-edition lucky Takada-chan charm that arrived in a mail a week earlier working its magic?

Either way, this might be the best year of his life, Todo decides.

That is until he hears a familiar voice.

"Hey there! How are you doing?" Yuuji asks loudly as he walks up to your person. Todo should've known. Of course, his brother would sense best girl material walking into the building.

"My name is Yuuji. What's yours?"

"I'm (Name). I'm a new student here. I'm a little lost actually. Could you help me out?"

Even your voice sounds so cute! You were so perfect.

That means Yuuji had no chance with the way he was doing things now. Despite Todo wanting you for himself, he could never leave his brother to make such an embarrassment of himself. If the two of them are to battle for your love, it has to be a fair battle.

"Yeah, the dorms are thi—" Yuuji yelps as he's suddenly tugged away from you and dragged around the nearest corner, leaving you in a confused state where you stood.

"What’s the big idea?" Yuuji asks, breaking free from the grasp that held him.

"I'm trying to save you, brother! What do you think you're doing walking up to a woman like that so casually?" Todo asks.

It takes Yuuji a few seconds to realize that Todo meant you were the woman that couldn't be so casually spoken to since he's fairly sure you're a first-year like him. "I'm pretty sure she's the same age as us, dude."

This is worse than he thought. He's definitely going to have to give Yuuji the rundown on how to properly ask a girl out. "That doesn't matter. She's still a lady that requires finesse if you're going to try to ask her out," Todo says.

Sadly, they are too busy in their discussion to notice you getting impatient for Yuuji to return or to notice another one of your classmates passing them and heading in your direction. You are just thankful to finally have someone help walk you to your dorm and not ditch you instead.

For the rest of the day, Yuuji is stuck with Todo lecturing in his ear. The first time being at the baseball game against the Kyoto school.

"First, you need to set the mood. And by mood, I mean you need to get her attention on you. Do something to impress her without her knowing you're trying to impress her," Todo instructs as you round home base on long legs, which Todo claims is made for a goddess. You were able to get a score for the team thanks to Fushiguro's sacrifice bunt, and the two of you take a seat in the dugout.

"Shouldn't you be helping your team?" Yuuji asks Todo after seeing him compliment your score. Todo sighs. Obviously, Yuuji needs more lessons.

Eventually, Yuuji steps up to the plate for his turn. Naturally, he hits a home run. As he rounds home, he sees you applauding loudly. Your eyes perfectly on him. It definitely feels good to have a cute girl's attention, and Yuuji realizes that he did really want to ask you out. He wonders if Todo thinks that's a good way to set the mood.

The next time Todo decides to instruct Yuuji is after they all take their showers and decide to rest up before dinner. "Next, you need to leave a letter under her door. Something to pique her interest and make her want to meet up with you."

Luckily, Yuuji has seen this before in anime. "Right, right. I heard of that actually." He easily drafted a letter and slid it under your dorm door. It sounds like you're talking to someone else on the other side so Yuuji hopes you'll see it in time so the two of you can meet up in fifteen minutes.

"Finally, make sure the place you meet up is scenic," Todo says, nodding his head and closing his eyes to repeat the steps in his head as he follows his brother to the school's courtyard. Impress? Check. Letter? Check. Scenic meet-up place? Check.

It isn't until he feels Yuuji's hand on his shoulder and a quick thanks that Todo realizes his mistake. Yuuji rushes away from him to the other side of the courtyard where you're waiting with the letter in hand.

"My name is Yuuji. I don't know if you remember me from class."

"Oh, yes, I know! You hit that homerun. It was really great."

Todo stands in shock.

...He was so busy trying to teach that he actually forgot to pursue you first!

"Really? Thanks! I was just trying to make sure I actually hit it. I wasn't expecting it to go so far." Yuuji laughed. "So, (Name), I was wondering if you wanna go out together?"

Todo could cry. Actually, he already feels the tears coming down his face, but his brother could at least be happy. And if his brother is happy, that's all he needed!

"I'm sorry," you say sweetly. "I only showed up because I didn't want to stand you up, but the truth is I already like someone, and I wouldn't feel comfortable going out with someone when I have a crush on another person."

Todo's ears ring with your words. You already like someone!

"Oh, well, that's too bad, I guess. Thanks for telling me," Yuuji says with a disappointed yet understanding smile while Todo finds the opportunity to scoot in the middle of your conversation.

"Excuse me but your crush wouldn't happen to be on me by any chance?" he asks, hopeful.

You force a smile onto your face and tilt your head. "Sorry...Have we met?" you ask, nervously.

Todo gasps as he feels his world crashing down. Your date. Your marriage. Your kids. All gone, and it’s all black in his memory after that. The next thing he can recall is sitting in the eating area with Itadori. He remembers this heartache once before. "It's just like with Takada-chan..." he mumbles heartbrokenly.

"I told you already. We never went to the same middle school, and you never confessed to Takada," Yuuji grumbles, but Todo knows that Yuuji is only trying to make him feel better. He is so lucky to have such a good brother.

"Who...Who do you think it is anyway?"

Yuuji pauses.

He actually wonders that as well.

Then, they hear your voice ringing through the dining hall. Immediately, both sets of eyes are on you.

"Fushiguro-kun, I wanted to thank you for helping me get settled into the academy. My mom gave me a buy one, get one free for a sushi place for when I made some friends, so...I was wondering if you wanted to be my plus one?"

Then, Yuuji finally gets it. He had been ignoring the small conversations happening around him the entire time thanks to Todo's interruptions.

The Hall.

"Excuse me. I'm looking for the dorms. Gojo-sensei was supposed to show me, but he got sidetracked so I've been sort of left on my own."

"Of course, he did. Geeze, that guy." Megumi sighs. "You can follow me. I'll show you where some empty rooms near the other girls are."

"Thank you so much! I'm (Name) by the way."

"Fushiguro," he states plainly and simply as you struggle behind him with your luggage. "Is that stuff heavy? Want me to help you carry it?"

”Yes. My arms got numb while I was waiting. Thank you so much!”

The Game.

"Out!" Gojo says. Fushiguro rounds first base to head back to the dugout, but you at least made it home to score. You head to the dugout as well.

"That's too bad, Fushiguro. You'll get it next time," you say, sitting next to him.

"As long as Kugisaki made it to second and you made it home then it's fine. I'm not really too hyped up on winning anyway."

”Oh. I was really looking forward to seeing you get one.”

”Too bad. Guess you’ll have to wait,” and by “wait” Megumi had meant probably not ever but you laughed anyway even though you had got what he meant.

”I don’t mind waiting.”

The Dorms.

"Kugisaki-san said you could summon different shikigami animals."

"That's true."

"Would you mind showing me sometime? I love animals."

"What is your favorite?"

"I really like rabbits. Are you able to summon those?"

"Not at the moment, but I’ll show you when I learn it. How do you feel about dogs instead?"

”That cute dog was yours? That’s amazing.”

And now.

"Yeah, sure. I wasn't really in the mood for anything at school anyway," Fushiguro agrees, and your face lights up with a glow that could rival sunshine. Yuuji thinks if he squints he can see the anime hearts starting to dance over your head but Fushiguro didn't seem to mind.

Itadori could almost laugh. That's a new record in anyone ever befriending Fushiguro. The two of you must have hit it off really well. Yuuji smiles. In that case, he couldn't be upset. That must mean fate has something in store for you guys, and he didn't want to get in the way. "I guess girls really do like that cool, quiet type."

Meanwhile, Todo is crying in defeat. How could a woman like you like Fushiguro?

"He's so boring though..."

#yuji itadori x reader #aoi todo x reader #megumi fushiguro x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x y/n #megumi x reader

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procrastinatorimagines · 3 years ago

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I Want Us Part 10 (Final)

Fandom: Chicago PD / SVU

Series: I Want Us

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4 // Part 5 // Part 6 // Part 7 // Part 8 // Part 9 // Part 10 (Final)

Pairing/s: Sonny Carisi x Intelligence!Reader

Warning/s: tw rape, murder, assault

Word Count: 2,222

Summary: The Intelligence Unit’s last case with Manhattan SVU had them flying out to New York to track down an abducted boy, and had Dectective Y/L/N and Detective Carisi growing close in the process. Now, a string of rape-murders in Chicago has SVU boarding the next flight out, believing the suspect to be the same man responsible for a set of identical crimes 10 years prior. As the case unfolds, Y/N and Carisi are brought back together, reigniting the spark between them.

A/N: Wow I found this sitting in my drafts unfinished after like 6 plus months, whoops, here you go

Tags: @the-baby-bookworm // @inlovewith3 // @averyhotchner

The case was pretty open shut when it came to the court side, though you’d been informed when it had been extradited to New York that he had pled insanity.

From what you’d been told, Tate had been involved in a childhood accident his mother had caused, resulting in his scar and an axe to grind with women that looked like his mother, never able to become the handsome prince he’d always wanted that swooped in to save the day like he had wished someone would do for him.

It... didn’t erase what he had done, but at least it was over now.

Besides, you’d had more on your mind the past couple of days. Sitting with Burgess in the locker room as she explained what was going to happen to Tate next she noticed the distant look in your eyes as you sat on the bench.

“What gives?” She asked, nudging you from where she stood in front of her locker. You looked up, coming back to reality, your mind still racing.

With a deep breath you knew there was going to be no fooling her, or dropping this until you said it out loud. But saying it out loud...

“Y/N,” Burgess perched on the other end of the bed, brow scrunched curiously as she waited for you to answer.

“I...” Moment of truth, you sat up straighter and swallowed hard, “I’m pregnant.”

“Wow,” Burgess blinked, mind connecting the dots, “Carisi?”

All you could do was nod.

“Does he know?” She asked tentatively, well away of the logistics.

You shook your head, knowing you had to tell him but not knowing what would happen once you did, even saying it out loud right now made it more real than it had been since you took the pregnancy test.

“Y/N...” She put her hand on your knee in comfort.

“I know, I know I do,” you ran your hands over your tired face, the weight of all this keeping you up for the past two nights, “but Chicago, New York... I mean, what would even happen?” The question was more to yourself than her, but you knew she’d always try and help when she could.

“I don’t know,” Burgess admitted, “but neither will you unless you call him.” She was right, obviously, but how would that conversation even go?

Trudy called down for her from the stairs and she stood, offering you one last should squeeze of encouragement and support. “Call him.” She turned to go but stopped and turned back, a small smile on her face, “and, for what it’s work, congratulations.”

Then she was gone, leaving you sitting alone, pondering your situation with one hand ghosting over your belly.

No Molly’s tonight, or for a long while, you resigned yourself to realising as you headed home. There would be no liquid courage to help you through this conversation.

Your finger had been hovering over the call button for longer than you wanted to admit, the fear building up inside of you the longer you stared at his name and number on screen.

“Pull yourself together Y/N,” you chided yourself, “you just caught a serial killer and now you can’t even make a phone call?”

With one last breath you quickly pressed the button before you could talk yourself out of it again. putting it on speaker and placing it on the table in front of you, waiting in anticipation as it rang. He might not even be in, it might so straight to voice mail...

“Hey Y/N,” Carisi’s voice clicked over the other end of the line, “Y/N?” He repeated after a long pause.

“Hey,” you finally replied, your throat tight as you forced your mouth to work.

He seemed to notice something in your voice when he answered. “Everything alright?”

“Er...” God, hadn’t you rehearsed what you were going to say a hundred times in your mirror? Everything had gone out of your head except the words you were dreading to say, but they seemed to be the only ones you could think of: “I’m pregnant.”

You blurted it out, no disclaimer, no warning, no sugar coating... maybe you should have wrote this down, you thought as you waiting in the silence. You knew he was still there, just processing what you had told him.

“Oh,” he said finally, then grumbled something to himself that made you grin a little, knowing he was kicking himself for that profound reply. “I mean, I- oh, that’s...”

“It’s okay,” you interrupted him as he tripped over himself to find the right words, “I’m not expecting you to say some perfect thing, I’ve barely wrapped my head around it myself and I’ve had more than the few seconds you have.”

You waited for his reply to come, and waited, growing more anxious with the seconds. You were about to check if he was still there when he finally spoke again. “What now?”

“Honestly, I don’t know?” You closed your eyes and pinched the bridge of your nose.

“I could come to Chicago,” he offered, causing your head to shoot up.

“I couldn’t ask you to do that,” you told him quickly.

“You’re not asking... I want to be there, and your hold life is in Chicago.” He said, and you could sense the conviction in his voice.

“Carisi we don’t have to decide anything right now, your whole life is in New York,” you replied, “let’s just think-” You head Olivia Benson’s voice cut through the background, calling Carisi’s name to get his attention.

“You have to go,” you guessed before he could say anything.

“Y/N-” He started but you cut him off.

“No, it’s okay, go, we’ll talk more later.” You promised and he resigned himself to agreeing as you hung up, alone in the silence of your apartment.

What were you going to do?

First, food, then decisions. It was never good to make up your mind on an empty stomach.

About an hour later you were sat back in front of your phone, thinking about everything you’d done in your life so far.

Intelligence was more than just your unit, they were your family, but these last few cases... you’d felt a sense of purpose, a pull, like you were doing what you’d always been meant to do.

So, taking a deep breath, you dialled a number, and waited for Captain Olivia Benson to pick up.

She answered after a couple of long rings, “Benson.”

“Hi Captain Benson, it’s Detective Y/L/N, from Intelligence,” you identified yourself, butterflies in your stomach as your nerves built.

“Y/N, hi, I’m glad to get your call,” she told you, her tone giving you pause.

“...you know, don’t you?” You didn’t have to elaborate, you knew Carisi often confided in his Captain when something was on his mind.

“Yeah, yeah I do,” she admitted, something like sympathy and understanding in her voice, “congratulations, by the way, I know it must be a lot right now, how are you doing?”

“I’m... processing,” you said honestly, tucking your legs under yourself and resting your hand near your belly. “It’s actually, well partially, what I wanted to talk to you about.”

“I’m all ears,” she said, waiting for you to respond even though you figured she already knew where this was heading. Had Carisi told her about his plans to come to Chicago? Probably.

Here went... everything. “I was just wondering, how serious were you about that change of scenery?” You asked, remembering what she’d said to you after your first case in New York what seemed like forever ago.

“Serious,” she swore, “truly, I know you might think I’m saying that so I don’t lose Carisi, but you have a real gift Y/N, and I’d love to have you on my team.”

Your throat caught, emotion and relief washing over you all of a sudden. Damn hormones.

“I know it’s a big decision,” she continued, “but I want you to know you have options, and time Y/N, whatever you decide, make sure it’s the right decision for you.”

“I will, thank you Captain Benson,” you said sincerely.

“Take care Y/N, keep in touch,” she added.

“I will, bye Captain.” You promised.

“Bye,” she hung up and you put your phone down, feeling more sure of your next move than you expected.

Olivia was right though, you didn’t have to rush anything, you still had time. Besides, there were more conversations to be had here before you did anything. So, albeit hesitantly, you went and put on your shoes and coat, grabbing your keys on your way out. Better to rip the bandaid off now, next stop, 21st.

Voight was the only one in the office when you arrived, looking up from his desk when you arrived, each step you took from the top of the stairs to his door feeling heavier than the last.

“Sarge, you got a minute?” You asked, knocking on the open door.

He pushed away the paperwork and gestured for you to come in, sensing this was important. With a pause, you sat down and told him everything.

You waited in excruciating silence for your Sergeant to speak, his facial expressions betraying no emotions, no hint of his reaction to your news as you sat on the edge of your seat, your whole body tense.

Finally, he leaned forward in his chair and spoke. “You know, I knew there was something special about you from the first day we met. You were a good cop, and I knew you had the makings of a great one, and I also knew I needed you in my unit when that happened.” He took a pause, collecting his thoughts as you tried to stop the tears welling up in your eyes. “It seems I wasn’t the only one, Benson called me after that case in New York, wondering if I’d be willing to part with you, she saw it too. If this is what you want...”

“It is Sarge, it really is.” You swore, grateful and more than a little shocked that both of them held you in such high regard.

“Then congratulations, on both accounts,” he told you with a smile and a nod, “New York is lucky to have you, and so is Carisi.”

He stood and so did you, offering you his hand in a professional handshake as you rounded the desk and gave him a hug. Needless-to-say, he was caught off guard, but he eventually returned the gesture.

You called Carisi as soon as you were back at your apartment, and after a bit of arguing about who should go where and do what, you finally persuade him. “Honestly, a change has been on my mind for a while,” you insisted.

“Y/N, are you sure? What happens when you get here?” He asked.

“I am,” you promised, “and as for what happens next, we’ll figure the rest out when I get there, together.”

After that, there was only one last big step to take: saying goodbye.

"Drinks are on the house,” Herrmann informed you with a grin as you reached the bar of Molly’s, the place packed as everyone you knew and loved milled around.

“What’s the catch?” Cruz asked suspiciously, pausing mid pour to look at his friend like he’d gone mad.

“The catch,” you answered with an amused smile, “is that I can’t drink alcohol and he knows it.”

Herrmann laughed, ignoring Cruz’s eye roll as he fetched you a lemonade.

The night went on full of laughs, stories, and more than a few tears, and then, at last, it was time for you to go.

“If you need anything, anything at all, you just call me, you hear?” Antonio insisted once he’d walked you to the cab and closed the trunk with your bags, taking your hands and squeezing them tight. You could feel your eyes welling with tears. You’d been green when you joined Intelligence, and you wouldn’t have gotten to where you were now without him by your side.

“You’ll always be my partner,” you told him, smirking as he did his best to pretend a tear didn’t slip down his cheek.

“Damn straight,” he replied, pulling you in for one last bear hug. After a moment he let you go, clearing his throat as he tried to compose himself, “now get out here, you have a plane to catch.”

You nodded; it was time. Taking a slow, deep breath you wiped your eyes, glancing back to the cab waiting patiently to take you to the start of the next chapter of your life.

“Bye Antonio,” you said.

“Bye Y/N,” Antonio smiled, nodding as if to say you could go, they’d be okay.

Turning you opened the door, taking one last look past your partner to Molly’s, the sounds of laughter and conversation reaching you from where you stood with your hand on the door handle, your other lightly ghosting over your belly.

Things had changed fast, but you knew you’d always have a home here, a family, it was just about to get a little bigger.

You were ready, you realised as you climbed in the cab, waving to Antonio as you began to drive away, and you wouldn’t be alone. Whatever came next, you and Carisi would face it together.

Look out New York.

#sonny carisi #svu #law and order svu #chicago pd #one chicago #sonny carisi x reader #sonny carisi imagine #svu imagine #chicago pd imagine #one chicago imagine #sonny carisi imagines #svu imagines #chicago pd imagines #one chicago imagines #i want us

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cuddles-and-kisses · 3 years ago

Text

So The Cat's Out Of The Bag,,,

Another fanfic for Agapito (an OC that belongs to @yandereaffections) The story starts under the cut. Hope you enjoy!

Word count: 1,908 Trigger Warnings: Subtle yandereness, I can't think of any others

It’s 11 pm. I’ve been avoiding schoolwork all day and I’m in no rush to fix it. I've been writing fanfiction, of sorts, for the past 3 hours. On the bright side, the first draft is done! My back hurts from sitting so long while my butt hurts because I’ve sat on a wooden stool this long. I need to take a break but what to do? Oh, what to do? My weekly planner is wide open on a bookstand to my right. I could be productive, or I could keep avoiding them... So the planner is closed now. I’ve reorganized pens in a pen cup for the seventh time. Is there a limit to how many times a person can adjust a desk lamp before going insane? There has to be something else to do but what? As if on cue, my phone lights up with a text from my Baby. We’ve been official for 6 months so our dates are a lot more casual nowadays.

“Angel, I want attention. Unlock the back door” I’m aware it doesn’t seem like it but this is how he asks to come over. He won’t come over until I respond giving the green light. “Bold of you to assume I’m home and not partying at a random frat house” We both know I’m not doing jack at 11 pm on a Friday. Nonetheless, it’s fun to pretend I have a flourishing social life. “That’s cute. Back door please” Alright, now to get up and- ow, fuck, ouchie, ok, hold on. *POP* There we go!

I should probably pick my room up real quick. I made my bed earlier today so that’s not a problem. The svallerup rug from Ikea collects dirt a lot faster than I expected. Although would he really notice? It’s not bright in here. My dresser by the door looks fine. The futon is in couch mode, so there’s not much left I don’t have to clean up for him. In reality, I’m not cleaning for him, I just like having a clean room. The last thing I do is turn on the fairy lights above my head then light a vanilla candle. I know he’s coming over to cuddle or really do anything involving him getting affection. I might as well make my bedroom reflect that, right?

I half-jog upstairs to unlock our back door. Why the back door? It’s not because I love Jesus. Let me explain. The living room floor creaks way too loud. Also, my parent’s bedroom is right next to that door. The side door alerts our dogs to start pitching a fit. How can they hear it from the opposite side of our house? I may never be able to understand. Moonlight drifts halfway across the backroom. Sparse nightlights cover the remaining needed light. I flick on the backdoor lights followed by opening a few blinds to let more light in. Their orange glow overpowers the moonlight near the backdoor.

For whatever reason, the moon is far brighter tonight. Or my pupils are hella dilated because I’m thinking about my Baby. Either way, moonlight dusts over parts of the backroom and kitchen ahead of me. One last light to turn on. An LED light above our kitchen sink smashes through most surrounding darkness, making it almost impossible to see into the living room. White cabinets outline our kitchen. None of the cabinets match each other in this house. It’s as if this house was built in parts instead of planned out from the start. The counter is occupied with things you’d expect; a bread box, knife set, fruit basket, coffee pot, and an air fryer. Yet, there's evidence real people live here. Crumbs from a snack, mail by the fruit basket, half-empty coffee pot, as well as children’s toys forgotten all about

Everyone else is snuggled up in warm beds, sleeping. I can pick out each person’s snoring pattern when they poke through tonight’s ambiance. There are moments where quiet feels like serenity, others where it feels like emptiness. I can’t decide which one I’m feeling because I realize I’m about to have a visitor. A cup of coffee sounds like the perfect way to waste a few minutes while waiting for my lover.

Coffee cup out of the overhead cabinet. A coffee spoon from beside the coffee pot. Fake sugar off the shelves. Room temperature coffee in the pot from this morning. French vanilla coffee creamer out of the fridge. And just like that, a proper cup of coffee is served. Light reflects off the glossy coating painted over our pale coffee cups. Mom considers it a priority to have everything match or look cohesive. Appearing put together is a source of pride for her. A cup is a cup however matching cups make her happy. My ears perk up at hearing his tires pulling into the driveway. My coffee creamer swirls in the cup as he walks up the driveway. The coffee spoon clings against the inside of my coffee cup simultaneously with the creak of our back gate. All that’s left is to wash off this week’s coffee spoon then put it back. I have only a few more seconds until my Love is with me again. I’m a sappy and hopeful romantic for him, get off my back. He’s learned how to silently open the back door and if I didn’t have good peripheral vision, I would’ve yelped.

Intimate hands snake around my hips as a tender kiss is pressed against my neck. I can feel the tender smile tugging at his lips after the kiss, he had a really good day? His body is pressed against mine as he murmurs “Honey, I’m home~” behind my ear; earning a soft chuckle from me. I turn to face him, wrap my arms around his neck, and greet him with a deep kiss. This time on the lips. “Welcome home, my Love.” He’s so close to me, I can smell the cigarette he had on his way over here. The absence of alcohol or weed stench affirms he didn’t have a bad day at work. I can’t wait until these interactions become a daily occurrence. This man is breathtaking under normal circumstances; but, under the glimmer of moonlight,,, I can’t form a single thought while looking at him. The raw admiration and love this man holds in his eyes? Who could stand a chance against him? Not me. Wrong choice.

His hands linger along the sides of my hips. I hold his arms in an attempt to keep him close to me, just a little longer. “I brought you a few things. I’ll go set them on your desk.” He knows gifts aren’t my thing in spite of that he claims I deserve the entire universe. I breathed out, “Ok, I’ll be down in a minute,” then started moving to get my coffee cup, as well as a few snacks to bring downstairs. He starts heading downstairs content with how flustered I am. WAIT A FLUFFING MINUTE THE FANFICTION IS ABOUT HIM!! I whisper yell ‘Baby’ until his head pops back around the corner. I threaten him to not touch or look at my laptop. It was a pathetic attempt considering what he does for a living. In my defense, I tried. I forgot he’s in essence an overgrown teenager who will do the exact opposite of what he’s told. Wanna know what he does? Grin. I’m so fucked.

Agapito dashes downstairs and leaves me in unadulterated fear. I’m frozen in place, trying to come to terms with my fate as his footsteps fade. It’s not smut or anything, just a simple night and morning routine imagining that we lived together. This is going to be so embarrassing. Please spare me this treacherous fate and undying embarrassment. Deep breaths, just take deep breaths. Get your coffee then snacks then, simply, accept what’s just happened.

With arms full of snacks, I shut my bedroom door as gingerly as I can. Setting the cup on the dresser right by the door to make this a little easier. He’s standing at my computer, reading through the last page. Oh hey, he brought me Rolo’s as well as 3 Musketeers. Nice! Oh wait, he’s done reading. His shoulders aren’t tense; his breathing hasn’t changed; all the same, he’s just standing there. “Why did you write this out instead of doing it?” That’s a good question tbh. My Baby’s voice sounds hurt, despite that, he’s trying to hide it. Ok, he needs a hug. Now to throw the snack on the bed. He needs a rib-crushing hug and you bet your butt I’ll be the one to deliver. I tug at his elbow so he’ll face me then pull him into me. His shoulders are right under my chin when we’re facing each other. I bury my face in his neck while my arms hug him as tight as I can. Except why is he upset about this?

His love for me is nothing to scoff at. He loves me the same way he wanted to be loved when he was younger. We’ve figured out he’s catching up from his pre-teen years and onward. So about 13 years without a stable romantic relationship. When he was trying to court me I had to call him out all the time for manipulation. I know he’s terrified I’ll think he’s not good enough. He has episodes of frantic attempts to meet all of my needs, even if it’s not asked for or needed. What is going through his head? Does he feel like he’s not good enough? That he’s not loving me enough so I have to turn to a fictional version of him? Does he think he’s not good enough for me to do this stuff with him? None of those are true, obviously. I explicitly stated that in the story he just read. It doesn’t mean he won’t get stuck inside his head. I need to tell him the truth. Even if I wanted to lie, I couldn’t, he’s a finely-tuned human lie detector. One more deep breath. Squeeze him a little tighter. Look him in his eyes and come clean.

“The reason I didn’t just act these out is because, I didn’t know how to ask for it.” His expression shifts from confused hurt to understanding. I start rambling, “I want to have these experiences with you. I’d give anything to have that life with you but we've only been dating for 6 months and I just, wasn’t sure, how to phrase it.” I’m choking on my own pulse from emotions. I realize I was shifting my weight left to right when he pulls me in for another hug and kisses my forehead. We stand there in each other’s embrace for a few moments before he suggests I come to his house tomorrow night. We both know what he’s suggesting. I can’t help but adamantly agree. Excitement zips through my body thinking about tomorrow night. A smile pulls at my lips as I ask, “Do you mind if I wear this shirt tomorrow night?”

Tonight is about Netflix, snacks, and rediscovering the curves and contours of each other’s bodies. Though, not before I mess up his hair while calling him a butthead. It’s evident his insecurities are still tugging at him. Funny enough, his insecurities forgot they’re fighting against me for his attention.

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