#This drawing also displays my partial lack of understanding how the spine works

[trashburgersblair]

Tired Nastya <3 (ID in alt text)

[sunriseseance]

Allison, Leadership, and the Role of a Kind Protagonist

Allison Hargreeves serves as the true protagonist of The Umbrella Academy, and the true leader of the team, and because of the leadership required by the show, these two facts link inextricably. The show, as we know, uses an ensemble cast to tell the story of a family, and I am not trying to take away from the importance of the others because ultimately, her role as protagonist is about her unique journey in the show, not about her importance versus the importance of others. It’s also important to define our terms here. I am going to be talking about Allison as the protagonist, and that means I am going to be talking about Vanya as the antagonist (yay sisters!). These terms do not mean good guy and bad guy. I do not believe Vanya is evil in any way. For my terms, I’m gonna go to The Cambride Introduction to Narrative Second Edition, which says “The Greek word for conflict… is agon and how the agon played out formed the spine of any Greek tragedy… Characters in the narrative were assigned roles in the agon. Thus there was a “protagonist”(hero) and an “antagonist”(the hero’s chief opponent)” (H. Porter Abbot 55).   TUA functions as a Greek tragedy. The main characters bring the prophesied bad shit onto themselves in a theater literally named after Icarus. These are my terms: Allison is the protagonist, and Vanya is her chief opponent. 

So, Allison. The first time we see Allison, she’s a spectacle. In contrast to Vanya, Luther, and Diego before her, she is well lit, and focus is clearly on her. She is the center of the universe, and she stands alone. Sonically, we hear people calling her name repeatedly as Vanya’s music wanes. The next time we see her, she is being told the news about Reginald. She is the conduit through which we discover what has happened. We see her learning that he died third, but it is the first time we, as audience members, hear it. I’m risking repeating myself, but we hear it with her which centers our discovery around hers. In-universe, the death is made about her. They ask her when she last spoke to Reginald, and what she will wear to the funeral. She remains the center of the universe, and the center of our universe as she is the reason we know what is happening beyond vague sensations. This sequence concludes with Vanya, who was also alone, also had a light on her, being revealed to be unwatched, and in the dark. This lack of attention in a similar situation sets her up in direct opposition to Allison. I only bring this up because the care and focus taken on Vanya in this sequence, and subsequent care and focus given to Vanya, is care and focus that we are also supposed to give to Allison. Vanya is the antagonist, and Allison is her chief opponent. 

The next time we see Allison, she’s towering again. She’s backlit with gold light as it streams through her hair, mimicking a halo. She’s descending a staircase to come and meet Vanya at her level. She hugs Vanya, which we see Vanya does not expect. As we’ve been following Vanya (a sympathetic antagonist) thus far, we see Allison’s kindness as good, and correct, and she affirms it as an active choice when Diego comes in and says, very bluntly, that Vanya is not welcome in his eyes. This moment serves as the first hint that Allison is not just the protagonist, but also the best leader in the group. She opposes Diego’s callousness to his face and she is correct. Allison reaffirms to Vanya that she knows she is making the correct choice in welcoming Vanya with literal open arms.  “Forget about him,” she says, “I’m glad you’re here.” When Vanya doubts herself, and says she thinks she should leave, Allison makes a direct decision and gives a direct order. She is positioning herself, from the first episode, as a leader who makes concrete decisions, acts on them with conviction, and steps in with said conviction when those around her lack direction or assurance. 

This is long already, and I am three scenes into episode one. Whoops. Some rapid fire seems in order. When she talks with Luther about her daughter, she asserts that she will not use her powers to benefit herself anymore because it has negative consequences. She makes a choice, and she sticks to it almost completely throughout the season (and when she fails to stick to it, it serves as a reminder of her flaws as the protagonist of a Greek tragedy). She is the one who draws the link between Klaus not being sober and him not being able to use his powers, showing that she has an awareness of her team as people and an understanding of how they work as heroes. She continues her dedication to Vanya when Vanya leaves without saying goodbye to any of them, while the others fail to care implicitly or explicitly. 

Just for flavor, I’m making this a standalone: If everyone had listened to Allison (including Allison), the world would not have ended. 

In episode two,Allison affirms that she does not know what to do with herself, and that she has things to do before she reaches her end-goal of being with Claire again. She acknowledges a void in herself that, I would argue, is and should be filled with leadership. This is reflected in her desire to see Claire again, and her having to take steps to get there. Ultimately, it is a complicated desire. She wants it for herself, and she wants it for Claire, and neither of these things are bad. It’s not bad to want things. However, her dedication to doing it right shows a dedication to seeing a plan through, and to being a good person even when it is not personally advantageous, that the  leadership in TUA demands. However, she fucks up sometimes. Her fuck ups are disastrous, and they all directly impact Vanya, our antagonist. Allison’s first fuck up comes in this episode. She says “unkind” things to Vanya that, because of her position as morally correct in other instances, lead Vanya to be more open to Leonard than is advisable, and close her off from Allison. This brings me back to my thinking about Greek Tragedy. Allison tells Vanya that her self isolation is her fault, and this leads directly into Vanya meeting with and being open to Leonard when she otherwise wouldn’t be. As the protagonist of a Greek Tragedy, Allison is responsible in part for her own demise from episode two, and this can only be the case because usually Allison is right about things, and the decisions she makes are good decisions. Allison’s time in episode two concludes with her discovering further conspiracy about their Father’s death. Pogo chooses her specifically for this task, for seeing the video tape that suggests that Grace killed Reginald, which puts her directly at the center of the conspiracy. In addition, she was about to leave, and because of this anchor, she no longer feels she can. She, as the protagonist, is trapped by the story. This centralizes crucial plot discoveries on her for a second time in two episodes. 

Episode three, for Allison, opens with her making a concrete decision that overrules Luther, the ostensible leader. In reference  to the video tape, Luther says “play it again” and Allison replies “We’ve watched it over and over, Luther. It’s the same every time.” Luther making a request of her, Allison denying it, and Luther accepting this denial. He goes on immediately to ask her what is goin on, and he seems to genuinely expect an answer. This says to me that he knows she is smart, observant, and capable. He trusts her abilities more than he trusts his own. It’s also worth noting that when Allison says that Grace did not kill Reginald on purpose, she is completely correct. While interrogating Grace, Allison prioritizes Grace’s emotional state and personal hardships over logistical questions about time and space. This echoes largely throughout her approach to problem solving and leadership in the entire show. While others focus on where, and when, Allison focuses on why. In this moment, Luther’s questions about where and when fail completely, while Allison’s give them explicit proof that something is wrong with Grace in some way or another. This confirms from the start of the third episode that she is, usually, correct in her approach. In her subsequent conversation with Luther about Grace and murder, Allison attempts to understand Grace’s state of being, and refuses Luther’s proposed idea that she does not have one. This plays partially into her projecting her motherly feelings onto Grace, but I think it’s important to note that she’s completely correct. When Allison sides with emotions and emotional intelligence over logic, she is consistently correct. 

Allison, as a leader, is capable of bad choices. We go from seeing a good choice (not killing Grace) to her explaining a bad choice she made in the past (rumoring Claire). However, she displays emotional understanding (“I know that’s what three-year olds are supposed to do”), and understanding that it was a choice she made with consequences. She takes responsibility, and is willing to do the emotional work to fix it. The end of this conversation reveals something sort of paradoxical about Allison. When Luther says “some things just take time,” Allison replies “yeah, and some things just stay broken.” To me, this line is fascinating. It feels out of line with all of the work that she is doing, and continues to do throughout the show. I don’t think it’s wrong, though. I don’t think it’s out of character or inconsistent. I think it’s further proof that she is both a good leader, and a protagonist. Allison has the emotional intelligence to understand that things will not always go the way she wants them to, and to work towards being better anyway. She knows that she will fail sometimes, and she does not let this knowledge crush her because she still has work to do. In a way, this feels pretty tragic to me. She suggests that she doubts she will ever be able to see her daughter again, but she is still willing to give up her powers and put in grueling emotional work for something that is one giant question mark in her head. This suggests to me that she thinks the work is worth something even without the result. That being good, now, is just as important as things ending well. This is reflected in her consistent tries with and deliberate prioritization of Vanya throughout the series. As far as Allison knows, being kind to Vanya will not save the world, but Allison wants to be kind to Vanya anyway. She wants to be kind even if the world is ending because, regardless of how broken things may stay, being good now is important to her. On a meta level, we know she is right. If everyone in the series acted like Allison, the world would not have ended. 

Allison seeks Vanya out for a family meeting, seemingly without the permission of the others, and pulls her away from Leonard on purpose. She makes the decision to prioritize the family meeting over Leonard, and although she frames it as a request, it is clear in narrative that it is the correct decision (and she is happy to speak for the entire family about it). She apologizes to Vanya for what she said in episode two, and she takes full accountability for the decisions she made. She also, crucially, meets the consequence of that decision for the first time, and she hates him. Vanya calls back to exactly what Allison said, making it clear that Leonard is a Greek Tragedy consequence of Allison’s actions. However, She uses direct language, makes it clear that Vanya was not at fault, and cops to a weakness in her ability to be a good sister, with an invitation for Vanya to communicate better what she needs from Allison. 

In the fight at the house with Hazel and Cha Cha, Allison disobeys a direct order from Luther (“You wanna rumor this psycho”) and, instead, gives Diego a knife and an order to “get her.” She holds her own without powers, and she is seen as just as necessary because her command decisions and good eye are crucial to their survival. Without being willing to use her powers, Allison needs a new role on the team, and she falls naturally into leading it when given the opportunity. After the fight is over, she checks in on Vanya, and (imo correctly) expresses to her that she is not equipped for the danger they face. However, she fucks up for a second time, and sends her into the arms of Greek Tragedy, when she listens to Diego’s shitty order to let Vanya go. If Allison had trusted in her own leadership, and followed her principle of doing the right thing now instead of later, the world would not have ended. 

In the fourth episode, Allison begins by understanding that Hazel and Cha were looking for Five, that Grace’s death is hard on Diego, and that Luther needs help. She makes the appeal to Luther, the leader, to engage emotionally with the world instead of logically. His refusal is, for our purposes, sort of inconsequential. Had she recognized herself as the leader, and he recognized her as the leader, the conversation would’ve gone differently, but what matters to me, now is that she had the right instinct, and she tried to follow it. Her arc is leadership, not her current moment. 

In Vanya’s apartment with Leonard, Allison shows herself to be a formidable opponent, and her presence there to begin with shows advance directive to make decisions, apologize, and be good. She goes, immediately, into Hero Mode when she sees the door open, and crucially, she does not let up. She does not trust Leonard after he tells his lie about having to go to the bathroom. She challenges his authority on her relationship with her sister. She takes away his next direct connection with Vanya, and she makes him leave. She does all of this on the fly, on instinct, because she is a good leader and she understands Leonard’s role in the story. 

The next time we see Allison, she is reading a magazine with an interview from (that dirtbag, scumsack, bastard) Patrick about how her old life does not need her. This upsets her, and she endures it anyway as a consequence of her actions. This speaks to a great deal of her fellow Greek Tragedy protagonists. Oedipus accepts his blindness, and his banishment, as a natural result of his actions. She continues to accept consequences regularly, apologizing and working to be better where she can. 

She tells Vanya that Leonard is bad news, after telling her that Mom is dead. These both feel like leadership to me. Complicated conversations about emotional reveals are hard, and they fall to those who can easily endure them. She feels for Vanya’s attachment to Leonard, she engages emotionally with Vanya’s connection to Leonard and the underlying feelings, but she refuses to let up on the idea that Leonard is bad. She refuses to give in, not even when it becomes clear that Leonard was there to drop off flowers. She is confirmed as correct because we see Leonard pouring Vanya’s pills down the sink. This mirrors her discovery of Reginald’s death and (alleged) murder. 

For the fifth episode, I think it’s important to talk about Allison’s fatal flaw. It ties in closely with her strengths, but sets itself apart in the way that it repeatedly, from here on out, pushes Vanya further into being an antagonist: Allison will do what she thinks is good, and she will do it unrelentingly. In this episode, instead of engaging with Vanya emotionally about Leonard while still keeping an eye on him, she searches him in the library, breaks into his house, and makes it clear to Vanya that she does not trust her judgement. We know, as the audience, that Vanya’s judgement should not be trusted, but we also can see, directly, that Allison’s approach is pushing Vanya away, not pulling her closer. Vanya bringing up Allison’s daughter ties Allison’s former mistakes, and former punishment, to her current mistakes and punishment. This feels, to me, significant in a Greek Tragedy way. Her former fatal flaw, using the easy way every time, feels opposite to her current one. She went from one extreme to another, and they both get her further away from her goals. In this case, I wanted to emphasize this, because I’ve been singing her praise a lot (how could I NOT), and I want to make it clear that I don’t think protagonist means flawless. She is still a complex character in a piece of media that is not over yet and so she still has things to figure out to be the best leader she can be. Episode five is the episode where she shows this most harshly, I believe, until her flaws come for her neck. 

In The Day that Wasn’t it is Allison’s decision to not save the world that leaves Luther shocked, because he expects her to do her best to be good. However, good in this case, feels to her like it should be loving her daughter. I find this hard to argue with. She takes the time, though, to be good to Luther, to comfort him. If this day had been left to its own devices, the world would not have ended. This is the weakest paragraph and I know that. I considered deleting it. 

In The Day that Was, Allison wants to go seek out Vanya, apologize to her, and talk her through why she wasn’t invited. She was the one to say it was a family matter in both episodes (obviously), further driving Vanya to feel isolated, othered, and angry. She knows this was what set Vanya off, and desires to fix it. She is told not to follow that instinct, and she relents. I’m a broken record at this point, but I believe that if she hadn’t the world would not have ended. She is the one to recognize Harold as Leonard, and to reprioritize Vanya’s safety. In the house, she is the one to discover the anti-shrine in the attic, and understand what it means about Leonard and his motivations. This reminds me of Greek Tragedies as well because, ultimately, Allison is the cause in one way or another of both antagonists’ actions. Leonard and Vanya both resent her and her position in the academy, and she is the only Hargreeves besides Vanya that Leonard ever directly interacts with. They are her chief opponents. 

I heard a Rumor, titled after Allison and her second most defining episode, opens with Allison ruminating on past consequences of her actions. It is her voice scoring her bad choice, her narration of a story from their childhood, and her recollection of this moment driving her to do better, now. In essence, she is the only one that matters in this moment. She is alone, and in danger, and seeking out her antagonists, and she is doing it with bravery and determination. The next time we see her, she identifies Vanya’s scarf at a crime scene, and makes the decision to lie to a police officer (something dangerous) to try to get better information in order to protect Vanya better. She does not, at this point, know that Vanya is her antagonist. The lie she tells is smart, and quick, and it works flawlessly up until the point she makes the decision to push further, again for Vanya’s safety. She then succeeds in talking the officer down from anger, but refuses his direct order to stay safe and close. She is in charge of herself. 

Allison telling Vanya about Harold, alone and opposed, shows genuine bravery and determination. Her unwillingness, even in the face of Vanya’s powers, to let up on worrying about Vanya’s safety and wellbeing shows a dedication to her position as responsible, and to her dedication to doing good. She feels responsible for this moment.

When Allison tells Vanya that she is the reason Vanya spent her entire life out of the spotlight, Allison takes her position on doing good now to the extreme. She takes responsibility for something she did at four, in hopes that good now means enough, but ready to accept that it might not. The decision to rumor Vanya, I think, comes from the same place that the decision to break into Leonard’s house does. She feels so deeply responsible for the wellbeing of others that she is willing to bend herself to make sure they are well. It is not lost on me that Vanya aims for Allison’s throat, runs away, and then in the next episode refuses to take responsibility for actions that actually are her own. Allison feels responsible for everything, and she takes responsibility for her own brutal assault, because she is a Greek Tragedy and Vanya is an antagonist.“MY FAULT,” Allison writes. Icarus, meet sun. 

In the final episode, Allison proves me right, and wrong, in equal measures. She is still a great leader. She suggests the lanes at the bowling alley for an escape. She asks Luther to let her go in alone just to try to connect to Vanya, in the face of powers that potentially robbed her of her last ever opportunity to talk with her daughter. She is the one that makes it to Vanya in a meaningful way, and, as the protagonist of a Greek Tragedy, she is the one that refuses to let Vanya be her antagonist. “SHE’S OUR SISTER,” she wrote. Allison moves the gun to Vanya’s ear, and chooses not to kill her. She chooses this out of her continued, unrelenting dedication to doing good, now. She refuses to see Vanya as the enemy, as someone who needs to be killed, and the show tells us that she is right. Allison’s final facedown with Vanya ends in the decision to save her, and this decision lets all the Hargreeves walk in Allison’s footsteps. They must act with Allison’s kindness, Allison’s emotional intelligence, and Allison’s unyielding dedication to good, now, regardless of later. Allison is the leader, and the protagonist, and she is going to save the world. 

[fictionplumis]

Another Thing

I[t's six in the morning and I haven't slept. Fucking fight me. You could technically consider this something to go with my little drabble thing if you wanted to.]

Percival learned that there was something very deeply disturbing and transfixing about watching someone's face slowly morph into his own. His first reaction to it had been revulsion. Hatred. There was a man taking his face, a man who stood for everything Percival hated, and now those thoughts and ideas were in his head, coming out of his mouth, said in his voice and the idea was utterly infuriating. But Grindelwald made a routine of it every morning, like clockwork and as the days ticked by the emotions were just exhausting to keep into place. He was tired. He was so damned tired and there was something almost hypnotic about the display. Watching someone's face move to take on features that were intimately familiar, watching the slope of his forehead appear, his eyes take shape, the curve of his mouth slide into something he often saw in a mirror. 

The weird part was probably watching himself blink. Watching his own face with it's eyes closed. It was such a small thing that unnerved him the most but he had seen his own face in the mirror a million times, just never with his eyes closed. 

Grindelwald knew what he was doing and he did it well. Beating someone like Percival Graves into submission would be difficult. He was a warrior, an Auror, someone who was trained to fight. But psychological mind games? 

It was probably a risk for Grindelwald to take Percival out of the locked safe room but it was better in the end. More crushing to go about daily tasks in a casual, familiar environment. Grindelwald moved around the house like it was his own, like he belonged there, without a single trace of awkwardness that visitors usually had in slightly unfamiliar environments. Percival was never put under Imperius, oh no, Grindelwald wouldn't risk any sort of fog dulling the full effect of his act. Instead he used enchantments. The ropes were tight, unable to be magicked off because Percival Graves was very good with wandless magic. A silencing spell kept Percival from uttering any incantations for more complicated things and a few more little enchantments made movement hard unless Grindelwald's wand was pointed at him to direct him. This included turning his head. 

So morning after morning he watched the face of the most wanted dark wizard slowly take the form of his own. He was taken out of the safe room that had become his prison and moved into his own bedroom where he would watch himself go through the closet, fingers trailing on expensive coats and suits. 

"Exquisite taste," he would listen to himself praise. "Most wizards prefer the look of robes but the suits fit you so well, Percy." He couldn't even twitch at the nickname. "They're tailored, I'm sure, nothing can fit a body type so flatteringly and not be tailored. And the colors suit your complexion perfectly." He would watch himself pick something, watch himself lay out an outfit. An outfit he would pick himself. His favorite vest with the silver embroidery along the top of the pocket or maybe the matte black tie with satin designs stitched in. He would watch himself dress, a bubble of mixed emotions clawing at his silenced throat, his tongue like lead in his mouth but always talking in Grindelwald's as he slide into the clothes, turning this way and that as he looked at the image in the full length mirror, his eyes meeting Percival's in the reflection. "Stunning, Percy. Look at this. Not quite my style, I admit, but very fetching for you. No wonder the people at  your office stare. That coat is the best part, it billows nicely. You're all for the dramatic flare, right? Me too." 

The next place he would be lead to was the bathroom, where he would be perched on the edge of the tub while Grindelwald would go through the motions of grooming. Percival would watch himself comb through his hair, carefully styling it back. "You have incredibly soft hair, Percy. It's surprising, considering how much wax you use for it. Actual wax, not magic, you're an old fashioned man." Shaving. "Regal cheekbones, you know. A very appealing face making for a very appealing look. Better when shaved, though. The stubble isn't a good look." 

Percival wasn't sure how Grindelwald did it, but he had mastered every expression. Every twist of the lips, every sly smile that Percival only gave to his mirror and sometimes to an Auror he was impressed with. Every quirk of his brows or slight crinkle around his eyes, Grindelwald had them down. And he would turn with that sly smile, the one that Percival found on his face when he felt good about himself, when he would stroll into work with a brisk, confident step and a billow of his coat. He would give Percival that smile and the wards holding him in place would slip just enough that when a finger trailed down Percival's cheek, a shiver would roll down his spine. 

He hated this man. He hated him with every fiber of his being but he was made to never look away from his own face, his own eyes, he was forced to listen to his own voice, strangely sincere in their compliments and reverent in their touch. 

"Beautiful cheekbones. And the fight in your eyes, I hope that doesn't dull easily." 

Grindelwald would repeat the compliments, hands brushing through Percival's hair, a careful fingertip brushing along his jaw. He would tip Percival's head this way and that, always finding more to comment on. Percival hated him. The fight never did dull, not completely, but hatred was an exhausting emotion to hold on to and in an effort to preserve his energy for an escape, he allowed it to slip after the days went on. He took the touch, ignoring the way he trembled at it, not bothering to analyze the emotions that welled up, partially relief at feeling something that didn't bring pain and partially revulsion that lingered, thick and bitter in the back of his throat. 

The worst part was when Grindelwald got tired of feeling the scrape of hair whenever he touched Percival's cheek. The scrap of a razor against his skin, held by someone else, was enough to almost make him panic but whatever spell Grindelwald wove around him kept his breathing steady and even, only hitching when Grindelwald allowed it. The lack of control was maddening. Percival Graves, the head of Magical Security, and he couldn't properly react to his situation. He couldn't scream. He couldn't panic. He couldn't even let out a shuddering breath or keep his eyes squeezed shut at the first feeling of a blade pressing against his skin, brushing against it like the fingertips Grindelwald loved running along his jaw. Someone else was shaving his face, holding a razor to his skin, but it was also his hand, his face, his voice murmuring about how much prettier he was when he looked fresh. 

"Mr. Graves?" 

Percival blinked out of his thoughts and slowly put down the razor, glancing over his shoulder as Newt popped his head into the bathroom. His eyes flickered over to the mirror, a towel thrown over it, before drawing back to Percival without a comment. Just a kind, infuriatingly understanding smile. "Queenie is just finishing up breakfast, I wanted to let you know before Tina snags all the bacon again." 

"Right, thank you Mr. Scamander." Razor abandoned, Percival pulled out his wand and with a few practiced flicks of his wrist, silently put his hair together and cleared off the five o'clock shadow before briskly walking past Newt towards the Goldsteins' dining area. 

He didn't talk about what Grindelwald did. There was nothing to say about it and half the time he didn't want to deal with their looks, always a mixture of horrified or pitying. Let Newt think his aversion to mirrors was just from Grindelwald taking his appearance. Really, that's all it was. It had nothing to do with how he would look at himself and hear the compliments in his head, his own voice telling him how regal his cheekbones were or how the dark navy color of his vest really brought out his eyes. And Percival had gotten very good at hiding his aversion to compliments, always smiling politely when Tina mentioned something about his outfit or the time Credence smiled and told him how better rested he looked after he shaved the first time. 

Percival had been through war before. Whether physical or in his own mind didn't matter, Percival Graves would never yield. Never. Especially not to the likes of Grindelwald.