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nefarious-nightjar · 3 months ago

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Jack's list of Various Omega Red Media

@strongestbanner this is for you, if you are still curious about getting more into Omega Red's character! :D

EDIT, as of 09/17/2024: THIS LIST IS OUTDATED GO FIND THE SPIFFY NEW ONE HERE :)

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Beneath all the murder, the bloodshed, the Soviet State intervention, and the medical malpractice, I really like Omega Red and I find him to be such and intriguing character; if not, in the least, quite the illusive one.

Marvel has never really given him a proper origin story, nor have they fleshed out his background like they have for other villains (like our boy Sabretooth). We don't really know all too much about him and his past apart from the few bits and pieces dropped here and there throughout his very scattered appearances. Even then, there are still some contradictions in the little we do have about him, so good luck with piecing together his past lol.

Regardless, I hope this list can at least give a glimpse into Arkady Rossovich as a character, and how he has been written and portrayed by the various writer throughout his 30 years of existence :)

— Comics —

So! We start with the comics! I'm going to try and place these in a roughly chronological order, but some of it gets a little hard to place timeline wise. This is also by no means a wholly comprehensive list, but I thought I'd highlight some of the more prominent ones I like and let you go from there!

X-Men (1991) #4-#7 Omega Red makes his first ever comic book appearance, yippee! These comics officially introduced Omega Red and his powerset, a well as his history with Wolverine, Sabretooth, and Maverick during their time as CIA operatives.

X-Men (1991) #17-19 Enter, the Soul Skinner! This little ark isn't too widely talked about (at least where I am), but I find this to be an intriguing one nevertheless, especially in it's regards to Omega Red. With a mutant that is terrorizing an isolated Siberian town, the Russian Government sends Omega Red to investigate. Turns out Omega is just as vulnerable to his psychic powers as the rest of the village, and he Soul Skinner ends up mind-controlling and manipulating Arkady into fighting the X-Men when they arrive to help.

Maverick: In the Shadow of Death (1997) This little one-shot is about as close to a 90’s followup to Omega Red’s debut as you can get. Focusing almost entirely on Maverick, Omega Red, and John Wraith, this little comic does a decent job at trying to explain his mutant death factor and his motivations for all of his killings, as well as using the words “carbonadium synthesizer” and “mutant death factor” more that was probably necessary. (also John Wraith gets to use a bazooka and i think that's fun. they need to let him do that more often lol)

*Iron Man (1968) #295-#297 Another one of his earliest appearances. Being such a new character, there is, sadly, not too much to him here. BUT it does establish the character of Olinka Barankova, Arkady's creator and someone who remains an important figure to his history.

*Cable (1993) #9-#11 This ark gives us some very good insight on how Arkady views himself, especially during the early period after which he was unfrozen in the modern day.

*Generation X (1994) #10 and #11 Arkady attacks Emma and Banshee’s little team in the present, while Banshee has flashbacks to his time as an Interpol agent, when he chased down and arrested Arkady BEFORE he went through the Carbonadium bonding process.

Wolverine (1988) #170, #173-#175 Here he shows up, working alongside Lady Deathstrike for Sabretooth.

Wolverine: Origins (2006) #6-#10, and #36-#40 I have not read all of this run yet, so I cannot speak too much on it. Only that showing up briefly in issues #6-10, Omega is mostly there as a back ground antagonist. And, come issues #36-#40, he reappears to be killed off.

X-Men Gold (2017) #9-#11 To Quote the Stone Roses, "I am the resurrection and I am the life". The ones in which Arkady gets his ass resurrected, yay! Can't say much on the run itself, but I'm mainly mentioning it to help place the status of Omega Red, so that you are not left questioning why on earth he's suddenly alive the next time he appears :/

Weapon X (2017) #17-#27 With Sabretooth newly leading Weapon X, he ends up being lured and dragged away by Omega Red during a mission. After a good amount of back and forth and a lot of bloodshed, Creed ends up offering Arkady a chance at redemption from all of the Soviet medical malpractice and lack of autonomy he's been put through at the hands of S.I.C.K.L.E. Accepting the offer, Arkady ends up joining Creed's X-Force in defeating S.I.C.K.L.E.'s Director, Vassily Rossovich.

Now I feel like I need that Gordon Ramsey meme with the "finally some good fucking food" text. These issues, especially #17-#21, are some of the best for Omega red and his characterization. Hands down. As well, this is technically the first time we every get to see him be a “good guy” of sorts, and joining Sabretooth’s version of Weapon X/X-Force for the rest of the comics' run.

Now, this brings us to the Krakoa era! There is quite a bit, so bare with me. Outside of his prominent presence in the X-Lives of Wolverine special, his appearances are very sporadic and a little hard to follow, though you'll usually find him kicking around in both Wolverine or X-Force. I will also admit that I am NOT up to date with all of the krakoa era stuff, so there may have been a good few comics in which I've missed.

His Krakoa appearances, in order (that I can remember) are:

Wolverine #1, Wolverine #4, X-Force #12, X-Force #15, Wolverine #8, Wolverine #11-#12, all five issues of X-Lives of Wolverine, X-Force #27-Present, and Wolverine #26-#27

* Lastly, there is also this website you can check out for finding all of Omega Red's comic book appearances in chronological order. I will admit, I found this a hard list to start with because it can very easily get overwhelming from the sheer amount of stuff to it. But then again, I'm not your boss, and if you want to got combing through every last little bit of Arkady's appearances, then by all means go hog wild and check it out! for yourself :)

— The Animated Series —

I thought I would add Arkady's appearances in the Animated series for the sole purpose of verity. He is in no way a major occurrence, but when he gets his spot light, I feel that he shines like like hell.

"Red Dawn" S2 Ep.4 Outside of a very brief flash of his face seen in Sabertooth's flashbacks during the S1 Ep.4 "Deadly Reunions", this episode is Omega's first real and proper appearance, as well as his introduction into the animated show. Having been resurrected by some radical Generals looking to reclaim and reform the Soviet Union, Arkady wrecks havoc on the Republic's capital and ultimately tuns on the Generals to try overthrowing the Russian Parliament and take control of the Soviet Union for himself.

"A Deal With the Devil" S4 Ep.2 Arkady gets his ass unfrozen by the American government to clean up the remains of a Soviet submarine filled with nuclear war heads off the Hawaii coast. This episode really showcases his cunning and his drive for self determination, even as he drags Wolverine and Storm kicking and screaming into his evil plot to nuke the world.

"Weapon X, Lies and Video Tapes" S4 Ep.16 Not much to mention of Arkady here, but he does shows up in flash backs to the Weapon X Mission where they were tasked with retrieving the C-Synth.

— Fanfiction —

Yes, I am recommending fanfiction, sue me. But honestly, although fanfiction is fanfiction and "rrraaagh Not Canon Material™!!! >:(", I still wanted to honourably mention the work of Soviet_Supersoldier's Living Weapon, Living Computer and a touch of Luck on ao3. It is, as they describe, "A behind-the-scenes journey through the 2019 X-Force and Wolverine series."

With passionate dedication to weaving together the gaps of the sporadic appearances of Omega Red through the Krakoa Era, and to giving characters outside of Wolverine their due, I find this work to be a lovingly crafted case study of Arkady, Sage, Neena, and other non-titular characters we see in the Krakoa Era. I will happily pour my heart out for this work, even if it one day bleeds me dry.

#omega red #arkady rossovich #long post #but bear with me will you it took me two days to gather these #also please do to tell me if i missed anything major and/or completely got something wrong #i love this character but hoo boy am i tired and not great at compiling my thoughts in an orderly manner #long ass post #marvel comics #comics

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ahecen · 14 days ago

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thoughts on percabeth characterization in wottg (or lack thereof)?

oh my godddddd. first of all I just have to note how hilarious it is that everyone forgot about this book a week after it came out. anyway. percabeth’s characterization in the new books versus the show versus the original books is so interesting to me. with allegedly being very involved in the writing process of the show, you’d think rick would be even more aware of how he wrote his characters and translate that to new books. now i’m not saying 17 yr old percabeth should act the same as 13 yr old percabeth. you’d think they’d grow, right? wottg percabeth just doesn’t have that spark and I was honestly confused seeing ppl gush over them in this book. every time I thought they were about to have a talk, just a moment to themselves, the scene ended. how do you set up several scenes for your fav couple and just. end it. it’s extra strange bc I loved them dearly in cotg. but in wottg,,, where’s the friendship? they remind me of those couples in school that have been together for years and don’t seem to enjoy each others company. they’re currently together because… uh…. if this was my first introduction to percabeth, having no prior knowledge of their relationship, I would question how much they even liked each other. yeah, they love each other. that’s great and all, but do they like each other? it’s like percy and annabeth became caricatures of themselves. haha percy’s dumb. annabeth has an idiot boyfriend that everyone knows she’s too good for. this is the shit you read on wattpad, not a published book. I think the worst moment of all was when annabeth seemed to realize for the first time in her life that percy was intelligent. girl you’ve known that since you were twelve fucking years old. I also think percabeth suffers in this book bc annabeth didn’t have much of anything going on. she was kinda there. percy had an emotional moment, grover had several emotional moments, but there was always prepared annabeth, ready to save the day from her helpless boyfriend and friend. rick isn’t known to write female characters well, but annabeth has mostly been the exception to that. what happened? if cotg was bad, this would be a different story. and I know pjo tumblr likes to tussle about the quality of anything written after tlo, but I genuinely really liked cotg. there was a lot of heart. the shift from a good story to the nothingness of wottg was really disappointing. I wasn’t expecting much, but, like, can rick at least pretend to try? there’s a lot more to say but we’d be here all night.

tldr; it was only a matter of time before percabeth was negatively affected by ricks greed

#hashtag not my percabeth #it’s funny thinking this topic is beating a dead horse #when it’s only been a month of the book being out #rick riordan you are washed!#pjo #percabeth #wottg #cotg #ahecen projects

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hannamoon143 · 29 days ago

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...👀👀👀👀👀

Imma ask all😔✨

1. What song makes you feel better?

2. What is your go to comfort show?

3. Reading or writing? Why?

4. Whats your favorite feeling?

5. How do you like to take care of yourself?

6. What’s your favorite candle scent?

7. Who do you feel most like yourself around?

8. Whats a fabric/texture that’s nostalgic for you?

9. Best childhood moment?

10. When was the last time you laughed so hard you cried? (or just felt really good afterwards)

11. Do you have a comfort item? Tell us about it!

12. What calms you down?

13. Bath or shower to relax?

14. Whats something upcoming that you’re excited for?

15. Comfort food ?

16. What’s something you want to create soon?

17. How do you feel best loved ?

18. What age in life do you think you’ll feel most yourself at?

19. Have you ever written or received a love letter?

20. Tell us about a memory you hold close to your heart.

21. Tea, Coffee or hot cocoa ?

22. Name of your favorite playlist?

23. Have you ever received flowers?

24. Who is your bestfriend ?

25. If your soul was a color, what would it be?

26. If you could live anywhere with anyone you want, where would it be and who would you bring?

27. Do you like to garden? Have you ever grown something?

28. What are you proudest of?

29. Arw you a kind person ?

30. What do your hobbies look like ?

I'm sorry it will take time for u to answer but I'm a curious person so 😔💕✨

Take your time <333

omg thats so cutei😭💕 let's start

secret secret by stray kids, and sweater weather <3

hmmm i'd say gilmore girls, and the drama "it's okay to not be okay"

i personally love both, i love reading cause i can escape reality,also if it's just for a few hours. i love writing cause i can express my feelings so naturally, other than with speaking😅

the feeling when i'm doing something that really makes me happy, and i can just forget everything else

hmm when i feel drained i like to take a long hot shower, and afterwards jsut go to bed and read a comfort book, or when i'm in public, i take my headphones and listen to music

ohhh i love vanilla candles

when i'm alone and with @darqlys

When i was with my that time best friend at night at a little hill, we were watching fireworks, and i thought everything would be perfect forever

hmm i'd say raw cookie dough, and the blanket i have for rlly long now

hmm tbh i can't really remember

soo i think in a way my headphones are my comfort item, cause music brings me a big comfort, but also my old plushies i'd say, and that may seem weird but i keep all letters i ever got, and to this day i still read letters from people who i now not even have contact with anymore, but sweet words from people who loved me once or love me are something that brings me comfort too.

music

shower

hmm i guess i'm excited for christmas

rice.it''s light, never made me feel sick or smth and its also not unhealthy so yea

i hope to create a work of writing that i will be really proud of, and can say that i'm really satisfied with

physical affection. i love love love hugs and stuff, but also loving and appreciating words make me feel really loved and worthy

hmm maybe when i was a child around the age of 6 or maybe in some years

actually i wrote one once, but i wrote it together with another girl and it was really embarassing, cause the guy never said anything about it except thank u so it was really weird after.but i love the memory of it😂

the memories with my old best friends,yes all of them. i was always myself, and there wasn't a day where we didn't have fun together.

hmm i love tea and coffee, but i think i'll go with tea.

it's just my favorites

@darqlys

hard question, it'd be navy blue ig

i would move to japan, korea, or somewhere scandinavian with @darqlys or alone

yes i lowkey like it, and yes i've grown some things before

my family for being so strong even through real shitty times, and @darqlys, i'm proud of u all the time

oh that's hard to say😅 idk how other people see me but i try to always be kind.

i mostly write, read, listen to music, and yea that's it, kinda boring ig

yes that's it ig💕

#ugh starlight thanks #im proud of u #hmm i think as soon as i post this i will notice i have way better answers lmao #hannathings #ye

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foxes-that-run · 4 months ago

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Late Night Talking

LNT is the first song written for Harry’s House, at the end of April 2020. Harry sings about wanting to be there for this person he can’t get off his mind. The videos for it explore the difference of Harry privately vs his public persona.

The lyric video reminds me of grapejuice with wine in the garden and friend with Harry looking at a view. This song reminds me of this part of the Zane Lowe Interview, (talking about As it Was):

I just got to like sit for a second and you create this kind of like space for yourself and obviously everyone kind of had their world shrunk and you really became abundantly clear like who you missed and who you didn't miss and who you wanted to spend time with and what felt more important.

Music Video

The was filmed 13 February 2022. It opens with Harry looking for his muse. All we see of them is a t-shirt and a bra. The record on the floor is the Talk Talk album 'It's My Life'. The title track is about a relationship with someone who is seeing someone else, their MV has wildlife starting on flamingos. The LNT MV opens with calm, private Harry in pale blue socks. Looking for the muse he falls through the bed into a dreamlike world (very Alice in Wonderland) of public perception where Harry wears passionate red socks.

All scenes are in a bed. It may be what if everything people said about him was true and how hard those rumours are on a relationship and self. ("Saying that's not true get's old after a while" “it does, I'm bored of it" 2013 to Heatworld)

The next scene is Harry singing to the listener with his full attention but he has a line of female and male partners in bed. There is a similar scene of Harry with many partners (COSOSOM-esq). Everyone else has bare feet.

Harry then recreates Tracey Emin's 'My Bed', a piece of an unmade bed about depression and public vs private life. Harry is in the bed with male and female partners, on his life on display, he reads the newspaper.

The next 2 scenes show how differently Harry's time with people are viewed, with a man he is in a restaurant and people ignore it, they pass by (This is not in private as some say) whereas with a woman (wearing the shirt from the start, H's nails are red & blue) in what should be in the dark, relaxing and eating popcorn a literal spotlight is put on them in the audience and the camera zooms in, like:

"Sometimes people say, ‘You’ve only publicly been with women,’ and I don’t think I’ve publicly been with anyone. If someone takes a picture of you with someone, it doesn’t mean you’re choosing to have a public relationship or something.” - to Rolling Stone.

These next 2 scenes are Harry officiating a wedding, but lightening and clouds arrive and he disappears, ruining everyones time. I think this is him disappearing because paparazzi arrive (see flashes). And Harry falling through the sky, (see clouds). The video ends with Harry happy back in the blue socks on the single cover.

When was it written

Harry was in LA promoting Fine Line when the COVID travel ban was introduced 17 March 2020. Harry said to Zane Lowe that he took 6 weeks to do nothing then booked a studio and this was the first song while setting up. That places it around 28 April 2020.

Kid Harpoon told Billboard: "Styles booked time at Rick Rubin’s Shangri-La in Malibu, Calif., and invited Hull and writer-producer Tyler Johnson to the sessions. “I was like, ‘Is he insane? We can’t leave our houses!’ ” recalls the affable Hull one late afternoon in New York. Still, the trio showed up and immediately got to work. “Day one, we’re writing a song, and [Harry] came up with this piano part. And then I was like, ‘Oh, that could be faster. And you could do this chord, and we could do this.’ ” That evolved into “Late Night Talking,” the first song written for what would become 2022’s Harry’s House"

Harry told Zane Lowe (24 Mins) LNT, Daylight, Keep Driving and Sushi were in this group, to Stern and Lowe he said Daylight was also one of the first. The leaked Too Much Sauce was also recorded in May 2020.

Lyrics

Things haven't been quite the same There's a haze on the horizon, babe It's only been a couple of days And I miss you, mm, yeah When nothin' really goes to plan You stub your toe or break your camera I'll do everythin' I can To help you through

In the first verse Harry is uncertain about change. I think there’s a double meaning of the pandemic and also Harry himself. Uncertainty aside, Harry is committed to doing anything to help this person and just wants to be with them.

Camera's are in Keep Driving (Black and White Film Camera) and Perfect (Cameras flashing everytime you go out). The camera is interesting, one Harry avoids considering the video's focus on perception.

The only other 'Haze' in a Harry song is in Little Freak, "starry-eyed Crystal Haze'

If you're feelin' down I just wanna make you happier, baby Wish I was around I just wanna make you happier, baby

Harry repeats that all he wants is this person to be happier. Another pandemic reference that Harry is separated from the person physically, in this case by lockdown but it applies broadly.

'Make you happier' reminds me of Happily, where the path to that happiness was being together again. Harry also says 'happier/happy' in:

Only Angel - I'm just happy getting you stuck in between my teeth

Super Pretty (unreleased) "Said you're happier with that big baller That we both knew growing up"

I'm not happy - I'm not happy, but I'm happy you asked

JCHNY

We've been doin' all this late night talkin' 'Bout anythin' you want until the mornin' Now you're in my life I can't get you off my mind

The chorus is so sweet and also simple, Harry has been talking to the muse on the phone. He will talk to them about anything they want because his focus is on them. He wants to share and get close. I line the line 'now you're in my life I can't get you off my mind' he's completely infatuated. This touches on some themes or lyric similarities:

Mind is a theme.

Harry's lyrics about Talk

Harry's lyrics about Night, especially the unreleased I Just Wanna Love You -" Talking to me late night"

Communication theme

I've never been a fan of change But I'd follow you to any place If it's Hollywood or Bishopsgate I'm coming too

In the final verse Harry again would do anything, this time linking back to the first verse, where he saw the change coming and now will do what is uncomfortable, even moving. The Hollywood/Bishopsgate is often reported as connecting OW in Hollywood to Harry's home of London, but it was written before they met. Harry wrote the song in Los Angeles, so I think he means wherever.. though noting he only listed where he was and his home. Harry's lyrics about Change

Folklore, Lover and Midnights

The first songs on Folklore and Harry's LA session songs have similarity. The One is a conversation with an ex-partner. Folklore started 2 days into the pandemic in LA. 2020 timeline. The MV spaghetti scene is similar one in Lover's MV, which has a joke Harry read in Fan Mail. Taylor named the bonus tracks on a special edition of Midnights "Late Night Talking Tracks" in the post she referenced The One and Satellite. Thanks @womanexile

#Late Night Talking #harry’s house #harry styles #lyric analysis #song analysis

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rearranging-deck-chairs · 4 months ago

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Hi hello I watched all of carmilla in a weekend when I was 17 because a student teacher who in retrospect I had a bit of a crush on mentioned that she knew one of the actresses. also I am pretty invested in all your recent vampire stuff because I watched iwtv in 2 days last week because your edit intrigued me

oh hiiii 🫶 thank you for indulging me. thats so cool that you watched iwtv! did it live up to the expectation?

i also watched carmilla at 17! or like, 17-19. i found it when s2 had just started and followed it to the end. did something permanent to my brain but i think it was a good thing. on rewatch now im like, i was right to like this. like it's a solid show, it's good. it has its flaws obviously but it's well written, the emotional moments still get me, i can see why i liked it and i still like it now even when it's not anymore, you know, meeting every need that baby gay me didnt even know they had

what it doesnt reaallyy do though - i dont remember if i posted abt this or if i left it in my drafts but - is explore vampirism as a concept. their subject matter is more lesbianism than vampirism. which is great! thats what they wanted to do and they did it and it's very good. but reading interview with the vampire the book rn im realising how much potential vampires have to be metaphors for like so many things and i started wondering like 'wait, did carmilla just not really engage with it or did it all go over my head'. but it just didnt really engage with it all that much. which again is fine bc that wasnt what they were doing. im glad they were more about the lesbianism than the vampirism

but there's this interesting difference in framing, because in iwtv they keep calling armand 'ancient' right? and emphasising how old he is. and he's like 500? and i was like 'wait isnt carmilla like 400?'. she isnt, shes 340, but still, thats getting there, you know? and we know quite a lot about her history, but kind of just the Big Events. when she was turned, the events of the novella, coffin of blood, silas. thats sort of what we know. but none of the long lonely slog of history day to day you know? with armand i feel like we can really feel how much time everything takes. how every one of those years is made up of single days. with carmilla i dont feel that as much. i keep kind of thinking about daniel, when louis calls him a boy in the first episode, saying "im an old man, with all the triggers that come with it"

because carmilla might look 18 (or mid twenties at this point) but she has lived all that time. shes also seen her native land be claimed by like a succession of ruling powers, right? like armand. shes been buried alive, like louis. when lestat is born, shes already 80 years old, shes lived a whole human lifetime, and the entire adult part of it shes been a vampire. shes lived through 1680-1870 being a lure. i compared her to abigail hobbs in some tags on a post, i dont know if youre familiar with hannibal the tv show, but i do also kinda keep thinking about that comparison

if youre not familiar, in the first episode of hannibal the murderer of the week is this guy garrett jacob hobbs who kills and cannibalises girls who resemble his daughter. and later on it turns out she was made to be his lure. like they'd go places and he'd sent her to the victims to make friends and maybe get them back to their home or smth. not sure if they specified all the details. but that's what carmilla did for mother. and in s2 we hear from mattie that while every couple of decades carmilla had to lure victims for the fish god, she also seemed to just enjoy humans between those times, right? like the doctor, gets lonely, gets a new companion. but we've only sort of got mattie's mocking word for it ("dont eat him, hes a poet! or her, shes got such a wonderful voice. or that one, shes just too pretty to ruin"), we don't know exactly from carmilla's point of view what she was doing or why. if mattie's talking about stuff that happened after the blood coffin, 1950-now, then i think it's a fair assumption based on what carmilla says in the s1 sock puppet show that after she'd figured out what the real situation was and what her role in it was, when she'd started trying to save girls from being sacrificed, that she mightve been doing the same trying to save people from becoming mattie's victims. it's probably more likely that she was just trying to find excuses to stop mattie from sucking someone dry rather than actually having like an aesthetic based morality. but it might be a bit of both. im still trying to figure out what her philosophy actually is, like i dont know what existentialism actually means ghkfjghkj but i will

i also found it pretty striking in the movie when shes turning back into a vampire she says like "this was supposed to be done, you know? the blood lust, the self-loathing, the sleeping tied to a chair in my own bedroom". thats what defines her vampirism, wanting blood and hating yourself for it (the third part is a joke/reference to s1 but also i think meaningful for how she sees her relationship with laura when she IS a vampire. little bit of that 'she will reject me for my monstrousness' shining through). and thats what defines vampirism for lots of vampires across the genre obviously, but i dont know, it struck me. we dont get a lot from carmilla's pov, we know a fair amount about her, but the story is always told through laura. we get laura's diaries, but just snippets here and there from carmilla, what shes thinking, how shes feeling

and i love that shes a philosopher. i love that thats how she seems to try and find something to hold onto, in a world that kind of moves around her, having been murdered, kidnapped, turned and groomed to be a lure on the cusp of adulthood, never having been properly loved (the relationship with her father wasnt good she says in s3, and her mortal mother i dont think has ever been mentioned (like laura's)). the only good relationship she seems to have had for the better part of 3 centuries seems to have been mattie, and mattie seems to love being a vampire. i can imagine carmilla just sort of going along with anything mattie wants to do just because shes so desperate for that friendship. not like, against her will necessarily really. but more like, she hasnt even had the space to develop her own will, you know? and philosophy lets you do that. philosophy gives you frameworks to understand the world and to develop your own opinions on it. and by the 21st century she seems to have developed those opinions, she has a sense of her own values, but shes also still stuck in that same situation. shes jaded and cynical in the face of laura's optimism and strong moral code a lot of the time in s1 because she feels probably pretty powerless. like she does what she can to save some girls but at the end of the day shes scared of her mother and she has nowhere else to go really, right?

i like how she grapples with that over the course of the series, in tandem with laura grappling with her black and white morality. she sort of jumps ship from her mother to laura bc theyve fallen in love, but then laura still stuck in her hero thinking refuses to see her monstrous side. not literally bc i think the biological vampirism never seemed to be a problem for laura, but morally. the having murdered. carmilla needs laura to see that and love her while seeing it bc the last girl she loved rejected her for being a vampire.

but you see her kind of swing back and forth in s2. she softens first with laura but then they break up and she leans back hard into the sarcastic cynic defense mechanisms, leans hard into "im a monster, dont expect heroism from me". but thats like, it's sort of learned helplessness i think. it's powerlessness, resignation. bc morally shes not a monster. maybe she doesnt have as strong a drive to help other people as laura does and is a little more selfishly hedonistic in that she just wants to enjoy her/their life, but she doesnt hurt people for fun, she never has. she just sort of didnt have another option for a Really long time. so she pretends she doesnt care. "im a vampire, this is what i do, this is who i am". but clearly from the way she talks about it when she turns back into one, she doesnt enjoy it

and i like how she goes even further in s3, where she starts swinging even more to the heroic side, bc she sees hope. shes like "wow if we kill my mother, i'd be free". theres hope and she becomes like a lot more active. and shes like that at the start of the movie too, a lot happier, a lot more relaxed, and then vampirism is back and bam depression gfhgkjh like shes immediately more gloomy, ashamed of her past and her self, retreats into herself

sorry i just took this as an opportunity to dump all the carmilla thoughts floating in my head on you. you didnt ask fhkghgjh consider this an open invitation to you or anyone else to come talk to me about carmilla

#just finished watching the movie and i had actually forgotten but at the end shes a vampire again!#they totally gave us a super great opening for more conflict to explore hollstein's relationship #bc carmilla sort of puts closure to her past by taking responsibility for her part in it and it makes her a vampire again #and laura is like 'dont give up on our life together' and shes like 'im not giving up on anything!'#and laura is like 'we're supposed to live and get old and have grandkids how are we gonna do that if you dont age'#so thats a great set up #im putting the fic im writing i think another 5 years in the future #bc the movie is 5 years from the end of the series and im doing another 5 years so it's 2024 #but theres so much opportunity to play there. theres conflict. tehres problems to solve. but theyre in a good place #i dont think they ever specify how vampires are made in this universe #therees some posts on carmillas blog where she responds to asks abt why she doesnt turn laura or if she would #and she just says 'you have no idea how this works'#but that was still during the series and the writers obviously wanted to keep their options open and their writing cards a bit closer to #the chest #but at this point you could make laura a vampire #you could explore that. see how they both feel abt that. would bea difficult decision #theyre also not married yet in the movie #they celebrate carmilla's 'rebirthday' where she turned human again #you could do a thing where they turn laura on that same day. sort of make that their wedding #not an easy decision i think. i think it would take a lot of discussion to get them there but not impossible #and would be fun to explore. both their feelings abt all that. and like anotehr 5 years in the future where they are in their lives #idk idk. brainstorming #thanks for giving me an opportunity to infodump a little :)#carmillaposting

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notjosieyouremy · 8 months ago

Text

every edsheeran book ive ever read and what i thought

*reblog without tags please

update #1: i just finished reading Letting An@ Go by anonymous. the teenage drama and romance is gross and annoying. the protagonist has a lot of strong opinions about peoples weight, especially her mother’s, which is very triggering. plenty of m3an $pO if that’s your thing. rampant fatphobia. i give it 3 out of 5 ⭐️��️⭐️

5 star tier ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

• hunger: a memoir of (my) body by roxane gay. one of the best edsheeran books ive read. it’s about sa, food addiction, boolimia, feminism, fatphobia, the struggles of just trying to exist black woman in a large body. would recommend

• i’m glad my mom died by jennette mccurdy. it’s so good. i think i finished it in a day. it’s about a lot more than edsheeran. highly recommend. go read it right now

• unbearable lightness: a story of loss and gain by portia de rossi. a gay actor’s struggles with edsheeran. one of the few i’ve read more than once. would recommend

• wasted: a memoir of an0rex!a and boolimia by marya hornbacher. really deserves to be in a class of its own. it’s the best written edsheeran book out there. it’s sad, hilarious, intelligent, perfectly captures the internal voice of mania. highly tr!ggering, so proceed with caution. after wasted was published she relapsed, which she speaks about in madness: a bipolar life. it’s also a very good book but edsheeran is not the focus

4 star tier ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

• insatiable: a young mother’s struggle with an0rexia by erica rivera. if you wanna read about someone who takes fistfuls of bisacodyl and exercises intensely, you might like this book. it’s very good. would recommend

• dying to be th!n by nikki grahame. imagine being so severely malnourished as a child that you never go through puberty. thats how serious her illness was. she basically grew up in treatment facilities, managed to recover against all odds, went on big brother (the reality show), published a book, relapsed, and tragically passed away in 2021. the covid lockdowns were hard on her mental health. would recommend

• the girls at 17 swann street by yara zgheib. semi-autobiographical work of fiction. what sets this one apart is the protagonist isn’t a teenage girl. she’s, like, 28 i think? something like that. would definitely recommend if you get tired of reading about teens and preteens all the time

• elena vanishing by elena dunkle. at a certain point, all these books can be summarized in one sentence: she had to choose between recovery or death. it’s a very good memoir. would recommend

• born round: the secret history of a full-time eater by frank bruni. we love to see male representation in the edsheeran community. he was a chubby kid, turned to unhealthy means to achieve we!ght loss, eventually learns to heal his relationship with food and becomes restaurant critic for the new york times (ever heard of it?). would recommend

• sure, i’ll join your cult: a memoir of mental illness and the quest to belong anywhere by maria bamford. if you don’t know who maria bamford is, she’s one of the best stand up comics, period. that’s not even my opinion, it’s just an agreed upon fact within the stand up community. she’s brilliant. the book is about her mental illnesses and all the different self help groups she joins (so many!). she does go into her struggle with exercise boolimia, though that’s not the primary subject. it gets 5 stars as a book, but 4 stars as an edsheeran book because there just isn’t a lot of dis0rder talk

3 star and below ⭐️⭐️⭐️

• stick figure: a diary of my former self by lori gottlieb. good but i had trouble relating to the protagonist because was quite young and immature

• the art of st4rving by sam j. miller. some much needed male representation in edsheeran literature. and some lgbtq representation. it’s YA (young adult) fiction, not really my taste. would recommend for those who like YA. great cover art!

• wintergirls by laurie halse anderson. a lot of people love this book. i thought it was ok. it’s a work of fiction by an author who isn’t really part of the edsheeran or recovery community. it’s another YA book. i will always prefer memoirs and non-fiction

• fat chance by lesléa newman. this was the first edsheeran book i read. it was assigned reading for my high school health class. it’s a YA novel about a 13 year old girl who wants to lose we!ght. she re$tricts, she b;nges, she poorges, she becomes boolimic. i can trace my edsheeran back to this book. i started d;eting, b;ngeing, and abusing lax4tives as a direct result of reading this material. it did the exact opposite of its purpose, trying to steer young people away from toxic d!et culture. my take away was, i’m overweight, therefore i should be willing to do anything to get th!nner. it’s not very good tbh. maybe if you like YA you’d like it but otherwise, would not recommend

#notjosie reads

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cheerycherrycandy-resurrected · 3 months ago

Text

What You've Done, You Cannot Undo (Medieval AU)

Chapter 17

The ghouls settle in some more, and Rain opens up to Dewdrop about his final big secret.

A bit of fluff, a bit of angst, a lot of "just kiss already!" I hope you enjoy <3

Rating: M Content: flashbacks, mild descriptions of violence Words: 7217

Links to full fic: Tumblr | AO3

Hi tag pals! @everybodyshusband @revengeghoulette

Read below, or on AO3!

Sunshine had pulled out all the stops with the picnic she brought; Dew had to wonder how she managed to fit as much into the basket as she did. They lounged around in the midday sun, chatting about their mornings and listening to the gentle lap of the lake against the feet of the dock. Rain had eventually put a shirt on, to Dew’s relief and disappointment, but he could still picture how he had looked climbing out of the lake; the type of figure the ancient Greeks carved statues of, the type that poems were written about. He spent the first minutes of their meal pretending to be incredibly interested in the sandwich he was nibbling rather than the press of the water ghoul’s knee against his, but he quickly found something more interesting to watch.

Swiss and Mountain were sat incredibly close to each other, so near they were practically in each other’s laps – Dew chose not to think about how him and Rain were sat in equal or greater proximity – with their elbows knocking together each time they raised their arms to eat. Dew wondered again what had transpired that morning that had led to them acting quite so cosy.

Rain was keen to see some more of the Abbey, seeing as he had been in the infirmary whilst the others had been shown around, and so Sunny offered to take him to the greenhouses on the way back to the Abbey. Mountain and Swiss followed too, seeing as their visit had been cut short by the pandemonium of Rain’s recovery the previous day.

“You coming too, Aeth?” Dew asked, turning to the quintessence ghoul. He shuffled his feet.

“I think I’ll go back to the library for a bit, Copia was showing me around before Sunshine fetched me for lunch.”

Mist raised an eyebrow.

“Wow, either the old guy’s got a lot more fun, or you really like the books.” She remarked.

“I’ll see you later, don’t worry,” Aether smiled at Mountain’s concerned expression, “seriously, I’m good. He’s really interesting to talk to.”

Dew made a mental note to check in with him.

Sunny had led the rest of them up to the greenhouse complex, Mist giving her a quick kiss on the cheek before heading off with Aether back to the Abbey. Rain was mildly intrigued by the strange sheds made of glass panels, and even more interested when Sunshine explained how she had enchanted some of them to grow summer produce all year round. However, what he was most interested in was Dew’s rapturous expression as he followed her around. In a greenhouse that was almost stifling in its humidity, he had spotted a collection of small plants with long, red fruits hanging from them.

“Chilli peppers,” Dew gasped in delight, “they didn’t grow these before! We only had the dried ones.”

“They’re a new crop,” Sunny smiled, “we traded a few seeds from down south, and now we can grow them in here ourselves!”

Dew nipped one from the plant with his sharp claws, happily biting into it. Rain made to follow his lead, but the fire ghoul shot out a panicked arm.

“They’re really hot, Rain. Hotter than anything we ate before, try a tiny nibble of mine first.”

Rain eyed the bright red pepper in Dew’s hand, unsure how a plant could be hot. Before he could reach out a hand to take it, Dew raised it to his mouth, offering to feed him. He sniffed it, and shot out his forked tongue for a delicate lick, trying not to think about Dew’s own lips touching it moments prior.

He didn’t have a chance to worry about his face blushing red: the tiniest touch of it on his tongue left it burning, and he flinched away from it with a hiss.

“It burns! What is that?”

Dew tried not to laugh, sympathetic to the water ghoul’s pain.

“It’s a chilli pepper. They’re spicy, it makes them taste hot.”

“They’re evil.” Rain countered with a pout, drinking from a stream of water he summoned that cascaded from his hand.

Dew failed to keep a straight face and giggled. The sound was infectious, and despite his still-burning tongue Rain found himself doing the same.

While the two youngest ghouls messed around, Mountain had wandered off to investigate a tall plant with waxy yellow and white flowers he didn’t recognise and swiftly got chatting to an elderly earth ghoulette tending to it. Swiss was left looking around, wondering who he was supposed to tag along with, when Sunshine sidled up to him, following his gaze towards Mountain.

“Looks like you’ve caught yourself a nice one there,” she purred, before looking Swiss up and down, “although he’s not done too badly himself, either.”

Swiss stared down at her, too scandalised to speak.

“Relax, I’m just messing with you!” Sunshine cackled.

“We’re not even together.” He huffed back, bemused by the ghoulette’s behaviour.

“What!” Sunny shrieked, clapping her hands to her mouth to stifle the noise when Mountain glanced their way. “What’s in the water where you lot come from? First those two idiots,” she gestured to Rain and Dew, the latter now trying to see how many chillies he could fit in his mouth at once while the former continued scraping at his tongue, red faced, “and now you? How come none of you talk to each other!”

While Swiss spluttered, at a loss for words, she turned back to bark at the two youngest ghouls.

“Stop wasting all my damn harvest, Dewdrop!”

“I’m gonna talk to him,” Swiss huffed, “I just need to find the right moment.”

“When’s that, next century?”

Swiss gave in, chuckling along with her as he let Sunshine lead him along an aisle of plants, away from the rest of the group and out of their earshot. It was nice, he thought, having someone new to talk to, even if she seemed to be having far too much fun laughing at his expense.

“So, you’re a multi too,” Sunshine said as they strolled, the teasing gone from her voice but the cheerful attitude still there, “I haven’t met another one of us in years.”

Swiss nodded. “I haven’t either. Not since I left my birth clan.”

“How’re you settling in here?” Sunshine asked casually, but Swiss could feel the question was loaded.

“I don’t really know,” he sighed, “everyone else seems to be finding their place really quickly, but I don’t know where I’m supposed to fit in here.”

Sunshine pursed her lips in understanding.

“It’s hard. The other ghouls all seem to have their roles laid out for them, don’t they.”

The pair watched Mountain talking animatedly with the earth ghoulette through a gap in the foliage. Of all the ghouls, Swiss would have thought that the introverted earth ghoul would be the least likely to fit in so soon in a busy community like the Abbey. However, Mountain seemed to be doing better than Swiss so far; a strange experience for the ghoul who had always felt like the ‘face’ of the pack before.

“How did you find your niche?” He asked eventually. “I feel like I’m just tagging along with everyone else for lack of anything else to do.”

“It kind of just happened,” Sunshine mused, linking her arm through his and starting walking again, “I overheard a group of fire ghouls complaining that they were struggling to enchant a warm climate greenhouse because everything was just turning crispy, and I offered to help. Things seem to be doing better now I’ve added more light and humidity, so this has become my main task.”

“I worry I’m just a bit useless here,” Swiss sighed “back home I made predictions and stuff for the people in the town, but there’s air ghouls here who can do that so much better.”

“For the humans?” Sunshine stopped again, and swung round to face him. “That’s something that could be useful! Talk to Copia, he has all kinds of plans for something he calls ‘community outreach’, but no ghouls to help him.”

“He does?”

“Uh huh. I came from living with humans too, and he got really excited about some sort of project to ‘spread His message’? I’m surprised he hasn’t mentioned it to you already, knowing your background.”

“Didn’t Dew say there are humans here who could do that? Why does he need ghouls to do that?”

“There’s a few, yes. You probably haven’t seen much of them, they stay in a totally separate wing to us ghouls. They’re the current ambassadors for the Ministry, but they’re not very successful.” Sunshine gave an exaggerated look over her shoulder, as though to check no errant human had snuck up on them in the last few seconds.

“They’re a bit useless if you ask me,” she whispered conspiratorially, “and so boring. They’re scared of their own kind, and they’re so bad at recruiting that they’re outnumbered by ghouls almost five to one.”

Swiss tried to imagine being a human preaching to their own kind about the wonders of the Dark Lord. That sounded like a one-way ticket to the gallows or the stake.

“Copia thinks us ghouls would do a better job,” Sunny continued, “even glamoured, we’re not human enough to fully pass, and he thinks that our slight otherworldly appearance might attract the interest of humans more suited to our cause, while scaring off those who oppose us.”

“I can see where he’s coming from,” agreed Swiss, “before I joined the pack I used to travel around with my guitar, singing in taverns and such. People were wary of me, but I think that added to the allure for some of them.” He flashed a dazzling smile to demonstrate, slightly-too-pointed teeth glistening next to his lone gold fang.

“Oh nice!” Sunny clapped her hands in joy. “I used to do something similar, I’d go round villages singing the humans’ folk songs in exchange for food and shelter.”

“Huh. Maybe Copia should think about spreading His word through music…” Swiss thought out loud.

“If our voices don’t get ‘em, that smile of yours sure will,” Sunny laughed, “it certainly seemed to work on your earth ghoul, look.”

They glanced over to where Mountain, having finished his conversation with the earth ghoulette, had drifted back over to Dew and Rain. He was hovering behind them, his eyes watching Swiss and Sunshine and he looked guilty at having been caught staring. Steering him by the elbow, Sunny led Swiss back over in their direction, beaming angelically.

“So, where next boys?”

The ghouls ended up in the library a while later, where they found Aether and Copia in a pair of armchairs, surrounded by books and deep in conversation. The quintessence ghoul looked up at the commotion caused by their entry and waved them over happily.

“See you nerds later.” Sunny gave them a mock-salute, and vanished back down the corridor.

“How were the greenhouses?” Aether asked as they dragged more chairs over, thoroughly disturbing the peace the two had been sat in.

“We saw Sunny's tropical one,” Mountain enthused, “it was very interesting. I got talking to an earth ghoulette called Delphinia, she's offered to give me a proper induction to working there if we choose to stay!”

“Spicy.” grumbled Rain, so quietly only Dew could hear him. He was still pouting about the betrayal of the pretty red fruit even now, and Dew thought it was simply adorable. His lower lip jutting out, Dew wanted nothing more than to kiss it and wipe the expression from his face. He saw Rain watching him, the slightest twitch in the corner of his eyes giving away that he had noticed Dew's stare, and he forced his eyes away, embarrassed at being caught.

“I've been telling Copia all about our travels before coming here,” Aether continued, “especially our early ones, Mount.”

The earth ghoul chirped in interest.

“They sound fascinating,” Copia gushed, “and not just the environments you saw, but the people too! As you can probably tell, we don't have a large human populous right now, especially not people who have come from any distance away.” He gestured around the library as he spoke, the lone human sat in a corner looking scared for their life as five pairs of ghoulish eyes suddenly landed on them.

“What's so interesting about the people?” Mountain asked, curious.

“For starters, how their attitudes to our cause are changing over time. Are they more accepting? Or are they frightened instead? These are all questions I have wanted to ask!”

“You want to talk to Swiss really,” Mountain said, looking at the multi ghoul who seemed surprised at his involvement, “he's got the most experience interacting with humans out of all of us; Aeth and I tended to steer clear of them when we could.”

“I travelled around with my guitar for many years,” Swiss explained, “playing in taverns and the like. I was just telling Sunshine about it. Most humans acted similarly, but there were always a few who were... more receptive listeners.” He tried diplomatically to describe the humans, men and women alike, who would practically throw themselves at his feet for a few sweet words and a honeyed smile.

“How wonderful,” Copia beamed. The intense focus he was listening with surprised Swiss, “I would be honoured to discuss your experience with us more mortal folk at greater length!”

Swiss shrugged, bashful. After the last few days of seeing his packmates slot into place here, he hadn't expected to feel needed in any way, least of all by their leader.

“I have a goal, you see,” the man explained, his face seeming to regain its youth in his excitement, “to spread His message far beyond these walls, far beyond the distance any missionary could carry it. The problem is, of course, the method.”

Swiss thought back to his conversation with Sunny.

“How about music?” he asked. “At least as a way to lure people in, it always worked for me. Then you'd have a captive audience to preach to.”

Copia nearly leapt to his feet in excitement. Instead, he simply gripped the edges of his chair and pitched himself forward.

“What an idea!” Several others in the library looked round, disturbed by the noise. “You said you played guitar, correct?”

Swiss held his hands out in front of him to defuse his enthusiasm.

“I do, but you must understand we are very wary of humans right now.”

Copia deflated somewhat, but his face was one of understanding.

“Yes, of course. My apologies Rain,” he turned to smile at the water ghoul, half hidden behind Dew, who shrugged at him, “I would never force any one of you do anything against your will.”

As he was looking at Rain, he seemed to remember himself suddenly.

“Why, we haven't been properly introduced! I am Papa Emeritus the Fourth, leader of this Abbey and sanctuary, but you can call me Copia.”

Rain looked uncomfortable as he became the sudden focus of the man's attention, but he held a cautious hand out to shake.

“Rain.” He said, softly. Copia took it and smiled, softer now he had calmed down somewhat.

“It is a pleasure to meet you, Rain. I am most thankful our Dewdrop was able to save you, and I hope your recovery is going smoothly.”

“Yes, thank you. Mist has been helping me.”

“Ah, Mist. With her in charge you will have no choice but to get better!” He laughed at his own joke.

Sensing Rain's discomfort, Dew surreptitiously snaked his tail out to twine around Rain's. The water ghoul's tightened back in return, glad of the comfort. Luckily, Copia's attention was soon diverted back to quizzing the more senior ghouls, and Rain could relax again.

Eventually, Copia seemed to run out of questions and the ghouls were able to make their escape. As they left, Dew made a point of walking alongside Aether.

“Hi Dew, have a good day?”

Dew nodded offhandedly; he was here to question Aether, not the other way around.

“Are you alright?” He asked, in his usual blunt fashion. “Swiss and Mount are clearly worried about you too, afraid you felt left out while they went to go flirt in the woods earlier.”

Aether wanted to point out that Dew had also run off for similar purposes, but refrained.

“I thought they were,” he sighed, “they don’t need to be though, I’ve had a really great day. Copia is a fascinating man, and I bumped into Astra from the infirmary earlier who offered me a position there.”

Dew raised an eyebrow: Aether truly did seem happy today.

“I could really see us settling down here.”

That really did shock Dew. He had assumed Aether and Mountain would have the most difficulty figuring out their place here, but they seemed to be finding their feet best of all. He smiled up at the quintessence ghoul.

“I’m glad, Aeth. Really.”

That dinnertime, they decided to brave the main dining hall for the first time. The ghoulettes led them along the maze of corridors, taking them into a large wood-panelled room with a giant fire burning in the grate. Finally they got a glimpse at how large the Abbey’s population actually was. There were about half a dozen humans, all sat together in one corner, with the rest of the long tables occupied by ghouls. A gentle hubbub filled the air, but it was by no means unpleasantly loud. Cumulus led them over to an empty table in the middle of the room, and gestured for them all to take a seat. Dinner would be served buffet style, she informed them, but only once the kitchen staff themselves were ready to eat. Mealtimes were taken seriously here and there would be nobody left hunting for leftovers at the end, especially if they had a hand in preparing it.

Spotting Astra across the room Aether waved hello, happy to see a friendly face amidst the sea of strangers. The meal was as chaotic as ever, maybe even more so with the overall good mood of the pack and ambient noise in the room, but nobody seemed too bothered.

The ghoulettes led them up to the serving hatch to help themselves to food. Dew happily sprinkled more dried chillies all over his, reaching out an urgent hand to stop Rain from automatically copying him.

“It’s chili,” he laughed as they sat back at the table, “the spicy plant, only these have been dried.”

Rain was unimpressed.

“How can you eat that?” He pulled a face, as Dew began shovelling the mountain of red-freckled food into his mouth. “It’s trying to hurt you!”

“I’m a big strong ghoul,” Dew grinned at him, “let it try.”

“Sure you are.” Rain purred, rolling his eyes and bumping Dew gently with his shoulder.

The ghouls made casual conversation the rest of the meal; Cirrus and Cumulus asking about their days, and Sunshine about their conversation with Copia.

“He really liked the music idea,” Swiss told her, “I don't know if it will go anywhere, but it could be fun.”

Sunny seemed vastly more enthusiastic than him, so he let her excitement buoy him along as they chattered with the others about it. While the ghouls were still highly sceptical about interacting with humans, their memories of nights in the tavern or just around their own farm with Swiss and his guitar were full of fondness.

Back in the Den, the ghoulettes diplomatically left the common room to the newcomers for the evening, knowing they had an important discussion to have: whether they wished to stay at the Abbey for any length of time, or move on. As they peeled off, Cirrus pointed out all the empty doors, telling the ghouls that all the remaining rooms were made up ready for them if they wished to separate at last.

The pack spilled into the common room, occupying the colourful collection of chairs. The hubbub of the conversation from the hallway soon died out and they looked at each other, unsure of where to start.

“So,” Mountain began eventually, jumping straight to the point, “are we staying for now?”

Aether broke the silence that followed the earth ghoul's words.

“I'd be in favour, yes.”

Rain nodded exuberantly, clutching onto Dew's arm with hopeful eyes.

“Yeah, same.” He chuckled, making Rain beam.

“Me too.” Mountain cast his own vote.

They all turned to look at Swiss.

“Sure,” he forced a smile and shrugged, before answering truthfully, “it's the best place for us as a pack.” He would find his place eventually, he figured, and he trusted Sunny's optimism. Besides, where else would he go? He didn't dislike it here, and Copia's plans sounded interesting. Really, he just wanted to be wherever his pack were happy, and if that was here, he figured he would be too, in time.

"So, it's settled then: we stay for a while and try to make a go of things here.” Aether looked around at his pack, the mixture that they were, with pride and hope. They had all come a long way; from the antisocial wanderers he and Mountain had been, to the frail and frightened ghouls Rain and Dewdrop had been when they arrived, they had become a real pack, as strong as family.

Like any family though, they still needed time to themselves, and Aether for one was itching to stretch out in a bed, alone. As much as he had loved their piles over the last few nights, the weeks of camping had taken their toll on his back. He stretched his arms above his head, his spine making a flurry of popping noises, and he knew when he stood his hips and knees would do the same.

“Bedtime?” suggested Mountain with a laugh, slapping his knees before staggering to his feet from the impossibly low armchair he had landed in earlier, like a baby deer learning to walk. The antlers really added to the mental image, though Dew with a snicker.

Back in the hallway, the ghouls looked at the doors in front of them, at a slight loss for what to do.

“The one next to mine looks pretty much the same, the ones opposite have bigger windows and a balcony.” Dew summarised, waiting to see which dithering ghoul chose which. Mountain shrugged and opened the door to the room he had showered in previously; the wooden panelling like in Dew's was perfect for protecting an earth ghoul's energy, especially in the winter. Aether did the same opening an opposite door, keen for the view of the sky the tall windows would provide and already imagining evenings sat watching the stars. That only left the rooms next to him for Rain and Swiss. The latter waved goodnight to the pack, and sent an additional smile towards Mountain directly opposite, leaving only the water ghoul who made no move to leave Dew's side.

“You good with the last one?” Dew asked, concerned he'd overlooked some crucial issue. Rain dug his claws into Dew's arm, tugging him towards the fire ghoul's plain door.

“Oh, you don't want your own?” Dew tried to colour his voice with concern, but was secretly delighted to keep the water ghoul close, and all to himself. Rain shook his head vehemently and tightened his grip.

“Ouch! Okay, I get it, roommates it is.” Dew laughed, and let himself be pulled into his own bedroom.

The pair did not stay there for long. Whether due to the nervous energy that buzzed around them at the realisation that they were truly alone for the first time, or just from the lingering excitement of the day, it was barely half an hour before the two ghouls were sneaking back out of the dormitory, giggling like kits. They ran hand in hand towards the lake, pulling each other along as the light of the waning moon gleamed off Dew's champagne hair, making it appear lit from within.

Their footsteps slapped lightly on the dock as they ran along it, heading for the spot where they had sat earlier, right at the end. Rain looked like he was debating leaping straight in, grabbing at the hem of his shirt, but thought better at the last minute and tested the temperature with his tail first.

“Fuck that's freezing!” he hissed. How did it feel so much colder now that it was nighttime? Dew giggled next to him, lying on his front instead to look down into the dark water. Rain joined him, their shoulders bumping together as Dew reached out a hand to swirl the dark liquid around. The moonlight reflected off every little ripple he made, spreading out in hypnotising circles.

Dew's mind drifted. He imagined them swimming alone in the lake, dressed only in darkness with the moon the sole witness to their pile of clothes laying abandoned on the dock. He could probably keep a patch of water around them warm, if they stuck close enough together...

Glancing at Rain, his blue-tinged skin glowing luminescent in the moonlight, he suddenly felt very exposed, and rolled onto his back to stare into the dark abyss of the sky. It wasn't empty though, he realised. The myriad pinpricks of light from stars competed for his attention with the moon that hung there, mocking his inaction with her beautiful kin laid next to him.

“It's almost unbelievable,” Dew mused, distracting himself as Rain rolled over to join him and maintain their closeness, “that the moon caused all of this. It looks so small up there.”

Rain followed his gaze and hummed in acknowledgement.

“I knew it controlled the tides, obviously, but I didn't think about it affecting ghouls too,” he agreed, “it seems almost obvious now Mist's pointed it out.”

“You didn't know at all?” Dew asked, surprised. Rain shook his head.

“I don't know why no one ever told me,” he sighed, “was it really obvious to everyone else, and I'm just stupid? Or was there some super-secret club for powerful water ghouls where they talked about all this, that I was left out of because they thought I was useless?”

“You're not useless,” Dew answered automatically, “I hadn't heard of anything like it either, it seems almost unbelievable.”

Rain hummed again, thinking about Dew being half water but with no knowledge of what that meant at all, not even a connection to the element to hold on to.

“Is it strange, having a part of you that you know nothing about?” he asked finally.

Dew thought for a moment about the half of him laying dormant before answering with a shrug.

“I guess. I don't know how else I'm supposed to feel about it, it's not like I've lost anything, y'know? I'm mostly a normal fire ghoul without it. It's always just been this tainted thing about me.”

It was so sad, thought Rain, that the thing that had drawn him to Dew in the first place – his faint familiarity – was something he saw as a negative, just a stain. He was sure the sorrow was clear on his face, as Dew's began to mirror it when their eyes met again.

“I'm still sorry, for taking my resentment about it out on you,” Dew continued, almost whispering now, “it felt like the universe was taunting me by presenting me with such a perfect water ghoul. Showing me something beautiful, but that only made me feel uglier inside like some sort of cruel joke.”

Rain made sympathetic noises, Dew having already apologised enough for his previous actions, until it suddenly dawned on him that Dew was describing him.

“What do you mean perfect? I'm as far from perfect as you could get, everyone in my clan thought I was a pathetic excuse for a water ghoul, even as a kit!”

Dew snorted; he'd never heard anything so silly.

“Look at you though, look at your pretty fins!” Dew gestured to Rain's arms, the lacy fins on his arms glowing a thousand shades of blue and rolled to point at his tail moving lazily through the water, leaving a bioluminescent trail in its wake.

“We all look like this!” Rain laughed, incredulous.

“Yeah, but I don't,” Dew sounded sad again, “all the water in me did was douse the fire some. The worst of both worlds.” He stared at Rain's tail some more, not wanting to meet his eyes. Sensing the beginnings of the familiar slide into self-pity, and not wanting to put a downer on their otherwise pleasant day, he forced himself to pull the topic back into lighter territory.

“Not to mention, that apparently it makes me smell like fish!” He reached out into the dark lake to splash Rain lightly, making the water ghoul squeal in shock at the cold. In retaliation, Rain fixed Dew with a wicked smile, and pulled a column of water up from the ripples below, making it arc menacingly over him.

“Okay, okay, I take it back!” Dew shrieked, not wanting a drenching in the icy water. “I can tell you your fins are pretty again, just please don't soak me!”

Rain carefully guided every drop back into the lake with a pleased trill. The tension utterly shattered once again; the pair sat giggling uncontrollably to themselves. Dew had to wonder if they were becoming slightly delirious; he couldn’t remember the last time he had laughed so much.

They finally regained their composure enough to continue talking, the atmosphere of openness that the dark night provided still surrounding them in her comforting arms.

“Do you have anything at all that links you to water?” Rain asked, curious. “Anything that links you to the moon?”

Dew thought hard. He definitely didn't have the true elemental magic, that followed what Mist had explained too, but he thought about any of his behaviours that had been seen as odd for a fire ghoul.

“I never noticed much,” he mused, “but I guess I like fish a lot more than the average fire ghoul? My clan never really ate it unless food was tight, and then we barbequed it beyond recognition anyway. They all preferred red meat. I don't know if that's a water ghoul thing though or not.”

“Swiss likes fish too?” Rain thought out loud. “Maybe that's also his water element.”

“Maybe the three of us just have more refined palates.” Dew laughed.

A comfortable silence fell again.

“Can you swim?” Rain asked after a while. He realised he'd never actually seen Dew swim, only bob around with his feet on the ground.

“Not properly,” Dew shook his head, “I never learned as a kit, and I just got by without knowing until now.” He met Rain's gaze with shy eyes. “Could you teach me?”

The water ghoul positively beamed at him.

Eventually, the two ghouls found themselves in their earlier position, lying back on the pier and watching the celestial bodies above. Out here in the stillness of the night, the gentle noises of nature were reassuringly constant. Everything felt just a little bit easier, Rain thought, when the sounds of the world carried on regardless of his actions. Nothing he could say would stop the humming of the insects of the periodic hooting of the owls, no matter how monumental it sounded to his ears. The moon shone down at him, imploring him to tell Dew his final secret under her protective gaze.

“It wasn’t just the moon, that day.” He said finally, eyes fixed on her glowing shape in the heavens, so as to not have to meet those of the fire ghoul beside him. Rain could feel Dew’s stare boring into the side of his face, unsure of both where the conversation was going, and where it had come from. He kept looking up, lest he lose his nerve.

“I told you about the ghoulette from my home clan, remember?” Rain felt, rather than saw, Dew nodding next to him. “I’ve been having nightmares about her, ever since I left. They’re usually pretty similar, just variations of her calling me useless, pathetic, that sort of thing.”

“Was that what the nightmare the other day was about?” Asked Dew sadly, unable to stop himself.

Rain debated how to answer. ‘No more lies’ he reminded himself.

“Sort of. She was in it, but that dream was different,” he continued quickly, before Dew could ask a follow up question, “the important one is the nightmare I had that morning.” Rain took a deep, shuddering breath, determined to get the words out fully. “The morning I killed three people.” His tongue felt like lead as he spoke.

Dew reached out a comforting hand, and Rain gripped it like a lifeline before continuing, his eyes still fixed forward.

“It was the same as most of my nightmares usually went; she called me useless, the fire ghoul next to her laughed, I woke up. Only that morning, I couldn’t shake it off like normal. She was in the back of my mind from the moment I woke up. Then when I got to the farm, it was like I was seeing a ghost.”

Rain tore his eyes away from the moon to look at Dew, and wished he hadn’t when he saw the deeply earnest expression on his face.

“Wait, do you remember the girl I–” Rain tried not to choke on the word this time, “killed?”

Dew shook his head. “Not really. I remember Farmer Wilkens had a daughter, but I couldn’t recall her face.”

Rain laughed wryly, but there was no humour in his tone as he focussed back on the moon above.

“She was the spitting image of her. It was like I’d been transported back in time to when I was an adolescent, like I was looking at the version of her who’d said she loved me, rather than the version in my dream who said no one ever would.”

He felt the squeezing round his hand grow tighter, grounding him.

“Seeing someone who looked so much like her from back then, combined with the nightmare still in my head, I panicked, and then I couldn’t stop the magic flowing through me.”

Rain could feel hot tears running down into his hairline, unbidden. Recounting the event like this, dwelling on how he had felt, how he had hurt. However it also felt cathartic, like by telling Dew, the moon and the whole night sky, he could begin to ask the universe for forgiveness, or at least understanding.

“I just wanted her to stop,” he cried, sobbing now, “I just wanted her to be quiet, to leave me alone and get out of my head. Then I saw that poor girl, and I couldn’t stop it coming out! The water just wouldn’t stop, and it was going straight for her.” Rain’s whole body shuddered in horror at the recollection of how the unstoppable tidal wave of his power had felt; how he’d seen the girl’s painfully familiar face and lashed out, desperate to make his endless night time suffering end.

“I saw her get dragged away by the flood,” he gasped between stuttered breaths, “I couldn’t stop it and I killed her!”

He’d seen her body crumple to the floor as the water released her, finally seeing her as the true innocent stranger she was. As the life left her fragile body, the light behind the eyes of the ghoulette who lurked in his mind and haunted his dreams faded too. Rain let himself be pulled into Dew and comforted as his cries of guilt and grief wracked his body.

Dew had tried as hard as he could to hold his tongue while Rain spoke, seeing how much pain he was putting himself through. He could tell how important it was to Rain that he got the words out however, so he tried to provide all the unspoken comfort he could. When Rain finished, he wasted no time in clutching the water ghoul close and letting him sob for as long as he needed. What he had gone through that morning was even more traumatic than he could have imagined; Dew couldn’t even begin to picture how much guilt he must have been holding on to. No wonder he had appeared to lose his mind in the aftermath, he thought. Rain’s constant and recurring need to blame himself made sense too, given the harrowing circumstances.

When Rain appeared to have run out of tears to cry, simply shaking in his arms, Dew shuffled even closer, nuzzling his way into getting his head onto Rain’s chest. He didn’t know what to say, but it seemed he didn’t need to; Rain’s reaction to his closeness clearly showed it was enough for him to just be there for him. The peace was much-needed, it seemed, and Dew was happy to provide.

They could have stayed that way for minutes or hours, it was anyone’s guess. Long past the time Rain had stopped quivering, past the time Dew’s leg had begun spasming with disuse, until the water ghoul started shivering from the cold instead. Dew heated himself up and happily let Rain hold him closer for warmth, like a sentient hot water bottle. Eventually, it wasn’t enough however.

“Do you want to go back inside?” Dew asked in a whisper, twisting to raise his chin and look at Rain for a response, but not fully lifting his head from his chest.

Rain nodded, and released Dew to scramble to his feet where he held out a hand to help the water ghoul up too. He kept hold of it the whole walk back to the Abbey, needing to feel the closeness after the raw emotion of baring his soul. He only released him once they had tiptoed back into the Den, with the bedroom door closed behind them as they went to change into pyjamas.

The pair both blushed deeply with their backs to each other as they stripped, and stumbled into their sleep clothes. Dew turned around as soon as he was finished to see Rain stood with clearly no intention of putting a shirt on over his sensitive exposed gills. He thanked whatever deity was listening for the dim light of the fireplace as they climbed into his – or he supposed it was now their – bed, grateful that the deep flush on his cheeks was camouflaged by it. Letting Rain manhandle him back into the position they were at down on the dock with Dew halfway on top of the him, the two ghouls slipped very swiftly into sleep. It had been a busier evening than either had anticipated, with far more vulnerability from the water ghoul than Dew had been expecting given their light-hearted joking just before. He supposed it was all things Rain had needed to say, and he could only hope that it would help keep the nightmares from continuing to torment him. For good measure, he wrapped his arms tighter around Rain’s torso: no bad dreams were getting past him if he could help it.

Next door, two of their packmates were in a very similar position.

Swiss had gotten ready for bed in the cold, empty expanse of the unoccupied room that was now supposedly his, every move he made echoing loudly off the bare walls. His footsteps sounded like a giant thudding around, and he couldn’t help but wonder if the whole hallway could hear him. Laying in the nest he had tried so valiantly to build, he felt a bone-chilling cold despite his limited fire power heating the blankets around him, and the fire burning in the hearth. He stared at the high ceiling, and tried to distract himself from the feeling of the stone walls closing in on him. They reminded him of Rain’s jail cell, and left him half-paralysed in fear.

Eventually he could bear it no longer; the wind racing past the tall windows was beginning to sound like screams in his ears, the yells of the bloodthirsty mob from the village, and he bolted from the room. He paused outside Mountain’s door, unsure if he could just burst in on the earth ghoul. What if he was asleep? Calmer now that he was out of the room, he considered his alternatives: going back wasn’t an option, he could barely stand to be in there for another minute, let alone sleep a whole night there. Aether had a similar room to his, and no amount of company would make him feel comfortable in the veritable stone prison. Besides, the quintessence ghoul desperately needed more sleep and he wasn’t going to take that away from him over a mere sleeping arrangement issue. There was no way in Hell he was going to disturb Rain and Dewdrop, and he couldn’t just stay in the hallway in his sleep pants, leaving him with no other option.

Quietly he pushed open the emerald green door. Maybe Mountain would be asleep and he wouldn’t even have to explain himself – he could make that a problem for Morning-Swiss. That plan was immediately foiled however at the sight of the earth ghoul staring straight at him, two green eyes glinting in the darkness and the dim firelight flickering on his unglamoured antlers.

“Hey Mount.” he whispered softly, apologetic.

“Can’t sleep?” rumbled Mountain, a sleepy smile on his face.

“How’d you know I don’t just want a cuddle?” Swiss tried to joke, but his voice rang hollow to both of them.

Mountain, however, very much liked the sound of a cuddle, especially with how haunted Swiss was looking as he spoke now. He hadn’t been able to sleep either yet; against all of his prior experience, he was missing the company of his pack. Especially one packmate.

“C’mon,” Mountain hummed, beckoning Swiss forward, “bedtime.”

He pulled the multi ghoul tight to his chest, resting his chin on Swiss’ piled up hair.

“Is this okay?” Swiss whispered into the dark. The room here was so much more comforting already with it wooden interior, although he suspected his specific company helped.

“Course it is, Snapdragon.”

A short while later, the room was reverberating quietly with the sound of their harmonising purrs as they fell into a sound sleep.

Across the hall, Aether was also just drifting off to sleep. He had sat up for a while, wrapped in a heavy blanket and watching the stars from his balcony. The constellations above were familiar: the same unwavering cast of characters telling the same stories they had told for millennia. It made the multitude of changes that had occurred recently easier, knowing that some things remained totally static in the world.

The quiet in his room was blissful; he felt bad thinking it, but it was nice to have a moment of peace to himself. He loved his pack mates, more than anything, but his brain needed the alone time to decompress sometimes. The calm stillness of the room welcomed him, absorbing the loudest of the thoughts that rattled around inside his head like marbles in a jar.

Back in bed, he let the gentle rushing of the wind around the corners of the building lull him into a deep sleep.

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storyspinner91 · 5 months ago

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Twenty Fanfic Writer Questions

Tagged by @littleblackraincloudofcourse

Tagging @lowkeyed1 @evodevo-geekmonkey @dianels @bisexualshakespeare @spybrarian @blackdalek

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

7 (3 are WiP)

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count?

186,452

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Willow! ...Technically other things too but really it's just Willow with playful skins.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Red Embers: dark alternate future AU, resistance fighters against the Wyrm's tyranny, grim & gritty

Like Constellations, a Million Years Away: sprawling mecha sci-fi AU set in the world of the Lancer tabletop roleplaying game. The Questies all pilot giant mechs; four books (2 done), one focused on each of Jade, Kit, Graydon, and Elora (in that order). Posthumanism, anticolonial to the extent a fanfic can be, utopian, dramatic.

Soft Blazing Crowns: Tanthamoretober one-shot. Modern AU. Elora helps Jade with a sexy photoshoot for a gift for Kit.

Full: (E-rated) Tanthamoretober one-shot. Modern AU. Straight-up smut drabble, 100 words on the dot. Extremely funny to me that this is in the top 5. :P

The Loving Hurt: Canon-set one-shot digging into the violence implied by the canon against the Bone Reavers, Scorpia's backstory, how Jade got her name. Dark, grim, not pleasant to write and in some ways probably not to read TBH. I was in A Mood!

5. Do you respond to comments?

Religiously! Sometimes it takes me a while, but I do.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hmmm. I mean I think it's gotta be The Loving Hurt. Like I said. Dark. Blame the show's writers, I do. :P

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Gonna resist the temptation to say Full and instead say I think that it'll probably be Flawless Five vol. 1 when it's finished in a few weeks!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not so far!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

The only thing I'd consider smut is Full. Otherwise, not anywhere that you can see. ;)

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

No true crossovers, though Like Constellations is set (loosely) in the Lancer Universe.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so! They're too weird!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No but I'd be so honored.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope!

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I am a Tanthamore diehard, what can I say.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

If you'd asked me recently I'd probably have said "all of them." Fortunately I'm feeling a little better lately! I hope to finish all of the current ones; Constellations is a slow, weighty project, F5 I hope to have done very shortly, Embers...we'll figure that out after F5.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm pretty good at dialogue, and I'm decent though not incredible at humor (especially character-based humor). I'm also a decent mimic - though this can feel a little clunky sometimes, I think I'm able to adjust my voice pretty easily to suit a situation, genre, or style. My unhinged and unpopular fic Excerpts from a new translation... is a pretty good example of that, lol. And on that note: I have a lot of fun with wacky metatextual stuff.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Taking the wacky meta stuff too far; not being bold enough in straying from the established character arcs/plots in canon; I don't think I'm great at writing really juicy interiority. Starting very large projects that will take forever to finish. ':)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I'm comfortable enough in Spanish to write simple dialogue in that language. I've done one line in Latin (which I'm comfortable with since it's functionally a dead language) and made up some words in a conlang for Constellations. Wouldn't try anything via Google Translate though.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Willow! At least if we count conscious fanfiction. If we're going back to the Days of Yore probably Animorphs when I was a wee one.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Difficult to pick...but Like Constellations is the baby, the one I'll finish come hell or high water (I hope). On the other hand, Flawless Five is probably the most fun (to write, and maybe to read if you like that sort of thing) and Red Embers is the one that in many ways I find most exciting. Like I said - hard to choose!

#tag game #willow 2022 #fanfic #tanthamore #willow #my a03

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thejakeformerlyknownasprince · 1 year ago

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I disagree with your take that Rachel is out of character in the last few books. I think her experiences in 48 show her just how much the team needs her to be that girl, and so as things get more serious she starts leaning into that more and more so they can ALL do what they need to do.

And yes, she really needed one more book

So, my frustration is with how Rachel's written in #52, and how she's not written in #49, #50, and #51.

Rachel can be violent, and even brutal. She often refuses to stop when Jake calls a retreat, which in #41 and #7 puts the whole team in danger. HOWEVER. She stops fighting as soon as she's neutralized her enemies in #17 and #24. She cares a lot about protecting the helpless — Melissa, Tobias, random hosts in #17, the kid in the crocodile pit — to the point where she looks for a way not to hurt unhosted yeerks in #6 and MM3. Taylor is a foil for Rachel because Taylor only hurts those who are weaker than her and runs from a fair fight; Rachel only hurts those who are stronger than her and doesn't back down when outnumbered. Rachel's devastated to have even an indirect role in a civilian death in #37: that guy couldn't have hurt her.

But in #52, Rachel tries to kill a group of civilians because they're in her way. And she only stops because "an order from Jake" is the thing that controls her. She kills a controller who had already surrendered. Ax describes her as "a monster." This could all be a bad day or her not coping with the loss of her dad, but #49 and #50 and #51 all feature mini-teams she's not on, so it's impossible to say. One book later, when she's expressing sympathy for Tom even as she's threatening to "crack open his skull" to get to her real enemy (#53) — that feels more like the Rachel we know.

Throw in Tobias's weird apathy toward Rachel (seriously, he barely mentions her #49 - #53) and Rachel's weird apathy toward Jake hurting Cassie, and she feels forgotten except as an object lesson. I think even #52 could work if we got a book from Rachel's POV that explains her going off the rails the way #53 does for Jake, but that's not what we have.

#animorphs #animorphs meta #animorphs spoilers #animorphs negativity #rachel berenson #52 #the sacrifice #between rachel acting like a rabid porcupine and jordan acting like a 6-year-old... methinks some of the ghosts can't write teen girls

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fanfiction-blep · 2 years ago

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Hey! your writing has literally been making my life atm ❤️ i wanted to request a quaritch x fem reader but the reader is heavily tattooed and he has a moment when he asks her what each of them mean n stuff I feel like he’d be super into this (plus lowkey be turned on bc not being bias or anything but I think a heavily tattooed chick is hot hahaha 🤣) I’m a tattoo artist and like 95% of my body is covered in Tatts and piercings so this would like make my day 🥰

keep up the amazing work ❤️ x

OH MY GOD. I love this idea!! I have several tattoos myself and this idea spoke to me. Thank you so much, I completely agree women with tats *Muwah* chefs kiss. Thank you so much! I do my best, very blessed to have so many lovely anons! ❤️😘

Work of art~ Na'vi Quaritch x Fem/Reader

Warnings: are tattoos even a warning? I know some people are squeamish so just in case. Fluff! Quaritch being all sweet. Talk of life experiences, loss of friends/pets.

(Y/N) drank down her water eagerly, finally relaxing after an intense work out session. Heading back to her room she collected her hygiene products, starting her shower. Once she stepped into the hot stream of water a sigh leaving her mouth as the relief the water brought her muscles.

Once completed with her shower she slipped into a towel, securing it around her chest. Picking up a bottle of moisturiser walking out into her sleeping area surprised to see Quaritch sat on her bed, waiting for her. He had done this before. Only when he needed comfort, she was simple to him. He knew exactly how he felt about her and that gave him a sense of great comfort. A chuckle left her lips as she walked past him rubbing some of the product over her arms paying special attention to the areas that held ink within the skin.

"I never asked" Quaritch spoke, eyes lingering on different parts of her body "Do your tattoos have meaning?" He was sat with his elbows braced on his knees, he was clearly interested, maybe even a little guilty he hadn't asked before in the previous month that the pair had been dating.

"Some" She smiled, "But not every tattoo has to be special-" She dropped the towel to attend to the rest of the her skin, once again paying close attention to her tattoos. "My first was kind of impulsive, I knew I wanted to get tattooed for a long time. One day I decided to say fuck it" She shrugged and opened her arm to him, showing small octopus on her forearm. "It's my favourite animal, this" She traced a larger floral design tracing up her right thigh and over her hip. "My great great grandmother used to tend to her garden daily, my grandmother pressed some of the flowers before things got really bad on earth. When I found the scrap book with the flowers I knew I had to get it"

"It's beautiful" He spoke in awe, she was naked, stood before him but all he could do was admire the art work that covered her skin.

"This" She leaned down running her thumb over the words 'whore' that were written above her knee "Was a dare from a friend, and honestly I regret it a little. But its funny"

"I don't get it" He was puzzled leaning forward to pull her towards him by her hips. A laugh left her lips.

"Whore, Knee" He rolled his eyes at the pun

"What were you, 17?" He shook his head chest rising and falling with a chuckle.

"18" She corrected. "I have several tattoos of show's and movies I watched growing up"

"What does this one mean" His thumb ran across a complex connection of knots over her lower abdomen, just above her pubic bone.

"Its Celtic, it's connected to femininity" He nodded understanding. His fingers dancing over different parts of her body, her shoulders, collar bones, neck and hands. Inquisitively asking the meaning behind all of them.

"Okay how about this one" He placed his lips against a solid black cat underneath her collar bone where the shoulder meets the chest. A hearty laugh left her lips.

"I was drunk, and I don't remember the logic but it had something to do with proving I had bigger balls that one of my friends." He laughed with her. "Tattoos, they are stories." She spoke "They detail you're life, explain growth and maturity and they don't all have to be special. But every one has a story behind it, they are made special by the people who do the work" she smiled placing a kiss on his nose "Plus I like the pain a little" A twinkle shone in his eye at the confession.

"Well I think you make the art work look way better" He began littering kisses down her chest. "You sweetheart are a work of art" She laughed embracing his affection.

"Plus tattoos are super hot, right" He hummed against her skin. licking and sucking leaving light bruises in his wake.

"You are so much hotter because you wear your body with pride, as you should" He moved his position to lay her down on the bed, smirking up at her as he kissed over the different tattoos covering the skin of her thighs and legs. "How about now?"

"What?" She giggled in confusion she looked down to see him wiggling his eye brows lips littering over her knee.

"Ya in the mood?"

"You mean am I Whore knee?"

~~~

This is a little short, But I'm happy to expand!

#miles quaritch #miles quaritch smut #miles quaritch x reader #miles quaritch fluff #tattoos #fluff #avatar way of water #avatar the way of water #thank you anon

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echoes-lighthouse · 6 months ago

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Tate and Echo: The Full Story

I'm trying to get all my lore for my selfships down on paper, and people said they would be most likely to engage with text posts with illustrations, so that's what I'm doing! I'm writing them so that they're hopefully understandable to people who don't know the source material (in this case, American Horror Story Season 1)

Previously: Toga

This selfship is pretty damn dark because of the source material being a horror show, so content warnings for murder, ableism, abuse, sexual assault, school shootings, suicide, toxic relationships, self harm, and parent/child death. Also I really struggled to summarize the ending to the story, because it's a bit of an eldritch ritual thing that only makes sense in the context of the story I haven't written lol

Chapter One: Backstories

Tate Langdon was born in 1977, the youngest of three siblings and the first to be born without a disability. Accordingly, he grew up as his abusive mother’s ‘golden child,’ trying to protect his siblings and ultimately failing. His father allegedly ran away with an affair partner when he was six years old, leaving him the “man of the house” according to his mother (who had, in fact, killed his father and the affair partner).

When Tate was 17, his older brother was murdered with the direction of his mother, who didn’t want him taken away from her due to her abuse (chaining him in the attic). Tate tried to kill his brother’s murderer, then killed fifteen people at his school, Westfield High, and committed suicide via police.

Tate died in the property known as “the Murder House,” in which all people who die there remain in the house as ghosts, to serve an unknown hunger that lingers in its history.

Echo Makovsky was born in 1987, an only child. They grew up happily, a third-generation witch with traditions passed down from their grandmother. They occasionally struggled with their powers, but ultimately graduated high school and went into a teaching degree.

In 2012, everything went wrong for Echo: their best friend died in a car accident, their parents both passed away in the span of eight months. They took two months of bereavement, and then left their job altogether. By the next year, they had taken a new job teaching in the US, and they were looking at places to stay.

While visiting for an interview, they took a tour of the Murder House and were immediately struck by the house’s energy. They went back to Canada, considered their options, and ultimately used their parents’ inheritance to buy the property.

August 2014 finds Echo moving into the house that has claimed so many spirits, not knowing what they will find there… and also taking a teaching position at Westfield High.

Chapter Two: First Meeting

Echo enters the house and immediately starts to have nightmares. The house has many interlocking desires, but one of the pressing ones is to have a baby, to create a baby, to have something small to hold and nurture. Tate has promised one of the other ghosts that he’ll get them a baby, and Echo looks like a perfect opportunity. Among the nightmares of fire and bathtubs and searching endless hallways, Echo has a dream that a man comes to their room in the night and forces himself on them.

That is, technically, Tate and Echo’s first meeting, although only one of them knows it.

Echo starts to explore the house and encounter the spirits that dwell within it. They start to get into little routines: reading children’s books to the unseen sisters who like to sit by the fireplace and whisper to each other, making tea for the woman who wanders through the kitchen every day in tears, and rolling a ball back and forth with the spirit in the attic, who never speaks.

One day, Echo is playing with the ghost in the attic and Tate introduces himself, joining the two of them. He tells Echo about Beau, his brother, the spirit chained in the attic. Tate is the first ghost that can actually talk to Echo properly, and they’re determined to get more information from him.

Chapter Three: Getting Together

Tate starts following Echo around after that, asking them questions and stealing their books. Echo likes him: he’s sardonic and sweet, clingy but goading in turn. He has information and tips about the spirits of children in the house, but stays closed-mouthed about most of the adults. The gaps in his information only make Echo more interested in his story, as do the inconsistencies in his behavior.

Tate has always known how to be sweet and lovely: he knows that he’s pretty, he knows that he can use it to his advantage. The difference is that he’s never wanted to before. His mother always wanted him to be the perfect son, charming and soft, so he made himself as sharp and abrasive as he could manage.

Now, he wants Echo for himself. He knows that the house wants them: he knows that every member of the house will want something from them. Tate is determined to stake his claim first, enough that Echo will choose him when the others come knocking.

So he plays the vulnerable, the bird with a wounded wing. He’s attentive, he plays with his sweater sleeves, he confesses his insecurities, he talks about his nightmares instead of his hallucinations. He tries not to flinch under the onslaught of affection he receives in return, but it’s still not enough, still not more than Echo gives to all the members of the house. So he crawls into their arms and presses them against the back of the couch and Echo takes him to bed.

And Tate thought he would be satisfied: he’s special, he’s chosen, but he’s lying. He’s playing a part and it’s starting to make him feel sick. The closer Echo gets to the other spirits, the closer Echo gets to finding out about the first night they were together, and Tate still can’t tell them how he died, or how he knew his mother abused his siblings and did nothing, or anything that isn’t part of the sweet boy he’s made himself into, to be easy to swallow, easy to hold.

Part Four: Where We’re At The Conclusion

It’s at work that things fall apart: in a conversation with another teacher, Tate is mentioned as the shooter that caused so much collective trauma at the school, and the pieces start clicking together. I hold onto the information for a while, resentful of needing to be the one to bring it up, trying to look at Tate from the right angle to make it all make sense. Trying to pretend that things can keep going as they’ve been.

Filled with my months of labor and love, the house is finally opening up. Knowing that it might mean abandoning Tate, I descend into the heart of the house and give myself to the deepest reaches of the house’s need. I no longer know if I can fix things, with Tate or with the house itself, but I no longer care about my own well-being, and I can hope that my sacrifice will help.

The house accepts me, and the First Abandoned Child, Thaddeus, is reborn through me: a bloody process that would have killed me if the spirits of the house hadn’t come together to save me. I come out of the process alive and with a baby in my arms, which is a bit of a shock since I was on birth control this whole time and have never intended to have a baby. But the house is suddenly alive again, and the spirits are given the chance to move on.

Not all of them choose to leave: Nora stays to be with her child properly, the twins want to stay to cause more mischief, and there are a couple of ghosts who just aren’t ready for whatever comes next, but a great majority move on.

And then there is Tate.

For a while, I think he might have left without saying goodbye: I don’t see him anywhere, and I grieve for him with the others, but I’m still hopeful. Eventually, he comes to me, and we can finally talk honestly. It’s a long discussion, but Tate decides to stay, at least for a while. And I love him, as he is. It will take a long time for him to believe it, but I’m willing to put in the work. I can remodel the house, I can keep the gardens, I can raise my child, and I can love Tate unconditionally.

In the years to come, Thaddeus will grow, and the remaining spirits will move on, but as long as they are in the house, I will love them, and when the time comes to let go, I will continue to love them, wherever they are.

#my ghost boy #this one has soooo many moving parts it's hard to summarize #there are like twenty ghosts in the house and i'm going to fix all of them #but tate is the one that real!echo cares about the most #so he's the Selfship (tm)#but the actual self-insert is kind of part of a huge house-wide web of issues #my selfships #selfship stories #my art

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