#This blog is for me to remember to draw things sometimes
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I get what you mean, as a (different) ClanGen comic blog creator myself x.x It’s definitely gotten harder to manage the sort of public responses and interactions when it comes to those kinds of asks. People being rude or parasocial, or outright asking you to tell you the entire future plot over and over again, or jumping to crazy conclusions and not listening, or otherwise not treating you like you’re a living human being with a life behind the screen. The amount of asks I’ve had to delete or ignore (or even fans I’ve had to block) because of how bad the ask culture/“content consuming culture”/fan interaction has gotten, it’s exhausting. Very very exhausting. I’m surprised you haven’t turned off asks completely, I’ve had to do that multiple times now just to give myself mental health breaks from it all. I love drawing and I love creating so I don’t think I could ever stop creating comics, but my god sometimes I really wish I could upload my things to a vacuum where I could just create without ever seeing any of the fan responses to it haha
yeah its rough out here. theres a lot of very positive comments and thoughts directed at comics too, so its certainly not all bad. might be bold to say, but the world is a better place with our stories and i dont think we should ever feel forced to stop sharing them but there is a ratio of negativity thats much higher than we would all like, and i just wanna encourage people who may feel negatively to keep it to themselves unless the author outright asks for critique. and to just re-read or drop the comic if it is so confusing or frustrating
i actually did have the ask box closed for a while, i dont remember how long. it was after firespots betrayal, there was a lot of really upset people and at some point there were over 100 unanswered asks from weeks of build up that i just purged and closed it for a while. i dont mean to threaten to take away things bc i know i enjoy reading insight from creators i like. but sometimes i dont want to deal with it and sadly it IS because people are mean or they talk about my characters in ways that make me feel like im a bad writer or that they hate what i made
#asks#i really deeply prefer to not engage with negative or annoying people#bc when i do put my foot down i feel like im seen as a mean sensitive a-hole who cant take criticism#but when i dont put my foot down#then im not establishing boundaries and “who are you to expect people to know it annoys you”#its just very tiresome
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VERY lighthearted PSA, I’m not upset at all, but I feel like maybe I should reiterate that I’m not A Hyrule Historian, I’m just a fan doing a comic about ocarina of time because I love a giant bastard man and his debut game. Most of my headcanons come from that game specifically and I cherry pick inspiration from the direct sequels.
I’m not writing the next game, you don’t need to quiz me on continuity! I promise I don’t know anything that isn’t specifically about Console-dorf. And most of the shit I know about him is shit I made up.
#silly hours#Don’t get me wrong there are some very deep political cuts you can get into with these games and I do#But that is not what this blog is for#This blog is for me to remember to draw things sometimes#sspsa
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Hope you're doing okay! I miss your posts 😢
🥺😭 this really does mean a lot to hear, thank you so much anon ♡♡
Things have been a bit touch and go, I'm trying to be here for my friends who need me while also dealing with my own stuff n it's got me wrapped up in a heavy brain fog where I just can't seem to think of stuff to draw
Even then most of my drawing energy has been put into rebooting my ask blog @ask-edd and doing drawings for it when necessary
I do genuinely wanna post here more and keep up my drawing energy and such, maybe yall can send requests in if you've got any
Idk if I wanna do a fun little song based one or maybe I can reblog an expression challenge or something or just give yall free reign idk
Maybe one day I can just do a request stream in my EW server (which is linked on the ask-edd blog if you wanna join)
#slightly venty/negative tags but like#i forget sometimes that im a whole person that people remember and know things about#so hearing that someone actually misses me and wants me back just gets me all teary eyed and means the world to me ♡#i would genuinely love for this to be a daily post blog#even if it's just talking to yall or posting sketches#i just cant seem to form ideas without some kind of prompt or even be able to focus in general#im constantly getting distracted and side tracked and it sucks#i just wanna draw all day like i used to 😭😭😭#but yeah ramble over thank you again for the ask ;-;#ask
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hey- i hope this goes without saying, but if you ever follow me or interact with my posts and someone contacts you about me or starts harassing you for some reason and it seems to be connected to following me for some reason, or if i rb from you and you suddenly get harassment or something from someone else, or you see someone impersonating me online- please let me know about it. i dont condone that shit. i'm pretty sure this isnt happening, but i often worry that my time spent in the early part of vaush's community has invoked the ire of some neo nazis and/or the fact im p sure my abusive ex is secretly a neo nazi and everything they say about me wrt that is projection and they have neo nazi buddies online- what im saying is i wouldnt be surprised if no-life neo nazi types are trying to manipulate shit on here to make me look a certain way either on behalf of my ex or bc they know my situation and the shit my ex says about me and wants to convince people its true so i get dragged down and either kill myself or join them.
#somethings ill say: i have no other accounts on here besides the ones im gonna mention: this one. snakeshifting. wyrddog.#monstermashwebcomic. snekdoodsart. snakes-art. snakenpals. all the other ones are empty place-holder blogs#or names i like lol#another thing: the only platforms im active on are here and deviantart. and sometimes reddit.#and youtube. but my youtube is linked (somewhere. might just be on my dA) so there should be no confusion on who i am there#i have an account on instagram but i dont go on there anymore bc i think meta is too invasive#havent been on there in like. months.#i also have a wordpress acct...a twitch... artstation.... theres a couple other art sites im on i cant remember the name of lol.....#and thats it :| so#if you see me anywhere else or anyone claiming to be me they're lying.#anything not linked likely isnt mine. i dont link my reddit tho but the name and spelling and all is the exact same as this one.#if someone is impersonating me- tell them to post a specific phrase on here.#or- better yet- tell them to draw a picture :) id love to see them try :)#if they give some excuse then they're lying bc im ready to go at any moment just lmk#about
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i hope whoever still pays attention to this blog knows that it's basically a graveyard i collect some pretty pictures in once in a while. don't expect anything from me thanks x
#strongly resisting the urge to change my theme & url despite changes of interests bc it simply doesn't matter#I'm letting my art blog die it's missing like a year of drawings and I can't be assed to update it#even with twt removing moments and fucking up any organization of works i mightve had. ugh#sometimes i miss interacting w ppl here but i mostly do that on twt. i haven't been sent an ask in at least two years anyway#doubt anyone remembers me which. good tbh. i did many embarrassing things in the nine-ish years I've been here#rowan rambles
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Sometimes I regret drawing cutesy things because it just attracts the most entitled people ever who are about to act infantalizing and controlling towards me .. but then I remember that it's not my fault if someone mistakes me for a people pleaser. I am allowed to draw comfort art specifically for myself and not for other people's comfort. It's my blog and my art is for myself
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where you belong [3/10]
Summary: As Luffy's big sister, you've viewed it to be your job to see him become King of the Pirates in place of your absent parents, even as you try to find where it is you belong in the world. You never really expected to draw the attention of Trafalgar Law in the process.
Pairing: Trafalgar Law x Fem!reader
Warnings: Discussion of feelings of abandonment, age gap relationship (four years), brief secret relationship, mentions and heavy refences to sex, mentions of alcohol, typical One Piece stuff. Other warnings to be added if needed.
Note: Hahaha almost 7.3k words, I'm so sorry. I almost completely removed this chapter, but I wanted to do a little bit more showing Law and Reader's relationship. :) If you'd like a song to listen to as you read, Clock Strikes by One OK Rock is what I was listening to as I wrote parts of this. 💚
Taglist:
@pinksaiyans | @sukunas-play-thing | @spiderlily-w1tch-blog | @mineymak | @valen-yamyam16 | @shimmerxc | @luffy0s | @fluffybunnyu | @laws-wife-things | @crmnic | @eyes-ofhell | @hopelesslover06 | @nyfwyeonjun | @extremely-ashtridic | @idk67876 | @mysweetmagicworld | @lorelexi-main | @pandabiene5115 | @shakysif | @bern87
[Ch. 1] ● [Ch. 2]
Law takes his time telling you about his childhood and time with Corazon. He doesn’t want to overwhelm you, especially knowing how you react when Ace is brought up, he’s not sure he can deal with you crying over the things that have happened to him. He also needs the time to work out his own feelings, trying to keep from choking up himself when he remembers everything, even though when it happens you quietly take his hand to try and provide some comfort, like he's done for you.
He never shakes your hand off his, just pushes down the pain and tears and keeps talking to you.
He starts by telling you about his family and life in Flevance. His mother and father, how wonderful and brilliant they were, how much they loved him. His little sister Lami, who adored him more than anything in the world, she always wanted him to join her during the festivals in Flevance. He loved his family more than anything, they meant the world to him back then. You smile when he tells you about the first time his parents let him take Lami to get ice cream, by themselves, and how she dropped hers, so he had to share with her.
While he doesn’t remember too much, he does tell you about his friends from the church nearby. They’d all been classmates too, spending their days going through normal classes and sometimes the boys, Law included, would catch frogs to dissect and gross out the girls. He remembers all the festivals, the neighbors he’d pass by every day, the old lady next door that always tried to get him to eat bread for some reason.
Law tries to make it easy for you, the first day is only about his family and friends. Nothing about the destruction of Flevance yet, he takes a bit to get there, and it affects him just like it does you, it still does to this day.
He really does try to keep his emotions in check, but once he begins to remember how it felt to see Lami sick with the white lead disease, he starts to struggle with keeping his voice steady.
“I…I was horrified when we realized she was sick,” Law has to stop and take a breath, swallowing down the tears he feels trying to slip out, “I didn’t want to watch her die.”
Nodding, you don’t say anything, you don’t want to interrupt his thoughts as he works them out and how to voice them. You just grip his hand a little tighter, which Law returns before he continues, reliving when his home was destroyed by the World Government.
“I left the hospital after I found my parents were dead, I was going to find the nun who had told me some Marines were going to sneak us kids out, so we could get Lami and go,” you can already tell where this is going, while Law grits his teeth remembering everything as vividly as he does, “She had been killed too, all my friends from the church…the hospital was burned down with…with Lami still inside…”
“Law…I’m so sorry…”
“I escaped in a mass of corpses, I had to get out somehow. That was the only way. I, eventually, I found Doflamino and his crew, and worked to join them when I was ten.”
Both of you quiet, you’re trying to take everything in, and Law is trying to get past his feelings again, he hates talking about all of this. Every time someone new joins his crew, he waits a while to make sure they’re trustworthy before he tells them anything.
But he believed you should know, even though you aren’t staying forever, and now you’re slowly learning everything.
You know when he’s done talking for the time being once he becomes quiet, you’ve noticed that about him over the last several months, allowing you to hug him though he doesn’t return it. He does appreciate it though, you don’t ask him to tell you more than what he’s ready to, taking it all at the pace Law sets for this.
“It’s getting late,” you hadn’t even notice until Law brings it up, but it is starting to look dark outside, “Everyone will be back for dinner soon.”
Law can’t help the slight smile that comes to his face when you sniffle a bit and nod, rubbing at your eyes with your sleeve. He didn’t fully expect you to start crying but he’s also not surprised, he figures it must bring out your own feelings of protectiveness and sibling love towards Luffy. Once he stands, Law holds his hand out to help you up which you gladly take, but you pull him into another hug that, this time, he gently returns.
“Thank you, again, for trusting me…”
“I hope you won’t betray that.”
“I would never!”
Law laughs a bit at your shocked expression, while you smile and kiss his cheek, something you’d started doing more recently. He’s gotten more used to it; it doesn’t affect him the same way it did the first time. He likes it, but tries to make sure none of his crew are around to see it, to avoid any kind of teasing that may come from it.
“See you at dinner, Law!”
“Mm-hm.”
Watching you leave before going back to his desk, Law thinks that went better than he could have expected. He expected more tears from you than he got, but he’s glad he didn’t have to spend several minutes calming you down before you left. He has to take some time to relax himself after dredging up those memories, but maybe next time he’ll tell you some happier ones he remembers, not just about his family but about Cora-san too.
~~
Before he even has the chance to tell you about his time with Corazon, Law is hit with several nightmares, all flashbacks to that night, something he never expected to happen. He believed he’d gotten past it all, but it seems the thought of telling you everything was causing it all to resurface and disturb his sleep (not like he gets much anyway).
He's good at hiding it though, you don’t question the dark circles under his eyes, even if they look darker to you lately. He tells you it’s nothing when you ask, convinced that’s enough for you even though you give him a skeptical look before going on your way. Law thinks you’re going to let it go, he can take care of himself. He’s handled this before on his own, before his crew came to be and he had friends to help him.
He can handle it again, he swears he can.
But it gets worse, especially after Law does tell you about Corazon, everything they went through to save him, and how his savior died to protect him. It keeps you up some nights afterwards, thinking about it all more than you should, and you know that wasn’t Law’s intention. He wasn’t trying to upset you or garner sympathy, it was simply his life story, and he felt like you needed to know. Like he wants you to understand why he’s started the plans he has, with stealing the hearts of other pirates to become a Warlord, the rest of his plans he won’t tell you about for whatever reason.
It probably would be strange to outsiders, but you’re surprisingly okay with it all. You aren’t a permanent member of the Heart Pirates, you don’t need to know all the details.
Still though, you feel like something is off, not with you but with Law and how you two are now. You’ve noticed how tired he is lately, he almost seems to doze off during the crew meetings he lets you in on, at least until someone says his name and it wakes him enough. He still seems to yawn more than normal, it’s what led you to be standing in front of his office door so late tonight, you want to make sure he’s doing okay or see if he needs anything. You feel nervous and you’re not sure why, while you quietly knock on the door and wait to hear if Law calls you in.
When he doesn’t, you open the door and call for him.
“Law? I was going to make some tea and was wondering if you want any…”
You don’t get a response since he’s asleep at his desk, your first thought being that at least he’s sleeping. You’re glad to know that until you realize it is not a peaceful sleep and he seems to be having a nightmare from the distressed look on his face.
Oh that makes so much sense.
You had hoped it was just the stress of everything going on that was keeping Law from sleeping, not that he was having his sleep disturbed by nightmares. Of what, you don’t know yet, but you feel the need to wake him.
“Law? Hey,” you’re quiet as you set your hand on his shoulder, hoping that wakes him, “Law, wake up. You’re having a nightmare.”
It does work to wake him, but also startles Law to the point he nearly knocks himself out of his chair when he wakes and sits up, eyes wide when he looks at you but not really, you know he’s still waking up.
You mostly know that when he barely whispers ‘Cora-san’ and it makes you realize what he’s been suffering from in his sleep. The memories have come back fiercely and it makes your heart ache for him knowing everything he’s gone through.
You’ve suffered worse than you let on.
Once his eyes focus and Law sees it’s you with him, he worries he’s let things slip about the nightmare, especially when he sees how concerned you look.
“What…[Y/N]-ya, what…what time—”
“It’s after midnight. I was checking to see if you wanted tea but,” he doesn’t say anything but you watch him as he rubs at his eyes with his sleeve, you wonder briefly if it’s sleep or tears he's trying to get rid of, “I noticed you weren’t sleeping well…are you okay?”
No I’m not.
“I’m fine, don’t worry about it.”
“Are you sure?”
Law nods, waving your hand off his shoulder before turning back to his desk.
“I am.”
He’s certain you don’t believe him, based on the face you make as you nod, before shaking your head.
“You don’t really expect me to just accept that answer, do you?”
I wish you would.
Before he even responds, you take his hand and pull him up out of his chair, which also surprises him though he is still waking up fully
He doesn’t even fight when you start to drag him towards his bedroom, or when you get him in there and tell him to change for bed, you’re going to go make some tea for the two of you real quick.
While he does get ready for bed, he doesn’t expect you to stay long after you return with the drinks. He fully expects you to hand his over and leave, going back to your room to sleep, not for you to climb into his bed beside him and give him a smile like you’re wanting to talk before going to sleep. Law just stares at you for a moment, before he speaks.
“Do you want to talk about something…?”
“Hmm? Oh, um! Well, I…was going to stay with you tonight.”
“…why?”
You become quiet, Law halfway expects you to decide to leave, telling him goodnight before doing so. You don’t need to stay, he’s fine on his own. He’ll get over the nightmares again soon, he’s sure of that.
“I have nightmares too…about Ace…”
He really shouldn’t be as surprised as he is, but he never thought you’d be struggling like this too. With the fears that come from having witnessed such tragedy and the resulting pain, perhaps he should’ve expected that though. After all the times he’s held you through your breakdowns over Ace’s death, he should’ve known you’d be having nightmares too. But you’ve hid it so well, you’ve handled things all on your own once again, just like he has.
Maybe it’s time we both accept some help.
“Sometimes I…,” you bite your lip before shaking your head, “The nightmares, are about if you hadn’t saved Luffy. So…let me help you tonight, Law…just for a bit?”
“…okay…”
Law isn’t sure how long you two stay awake that night talking, all he knows is that, eventually, he wakes up to someone knocking heavily on his door but he’s not able to move at first. You’ve got his head held against your chest, still fast asleep yourself, no signs of waking but he’s nearly frozen in place when he realizes what’s going on. It takes a moment or two for Law to decide what to do, internally yelling at himself about how on earth this happened and how does he get out of this without someone thinking something scandalous is going on.
He's lucky enough that you release him and roll over in your sleep, he doesn’t have to figure out how to get out of your arms on his own. Now it’s a matter of getting out of his bed without waking you, he doesn’t want to interrupt your own sleep. The knocking stops eventually, Law hears someone mumble to themselves, they’ll probably come back later but he’s got to get out of bed now. He has a chance to get out before you wake or someone catches you in his bed. He quickly slips out, grabs some clothes and goes to his bathroom to change, taking a deep breath and letting out a sigh.
This…isn’t going to be good in the long run is it?
Law isn’t looking forward to having to wake you when he goes back to his room, but he’s lucky enough that you’re gone by the time he gets back. You definitely woke up and had the same thought he did, sneaking yourself out quickly without making any noise. When you see him again at breakfast, you don’t say anything but give Law a smile that he returns with a nod.
No one else knows or finds out, much to the relief of you both, and Ikkaku doesn’t question where you’d been the night before.
While he hates to admit that he did need someone that night, Law can’t deny the fact he’d slept better with you there than he had in months.
+!+
A few weeks later, the Heart Pirates are throwing a party for their captain. Law’s birthday has come around and while he’d tried to tell him no party they still threw one together, even dragging you into the planning though you didn’t need to be asked to help really. When you heard it was his birthday, you were happy to help, having a couple of gifts put away for him as a thank you for all the help he’s given you the last year and a half or so. It's not a lot, just two small things you think he’ll appreciate, even with Ikkaku and Uni telling you he's going to love both gifts, it's hard to think that much about them.
Law, although he said no parties, is not one to deny his crew a night of rest and relaxation. He does try to stay in his office most of the evening, but Penguin and Shachi are able to drag him out long enough to have a drink and let everyone wish him a happy birthday. He’s truly grateful for all of them, thanking his crew with a slight smile. He ends up settling beside you for a bit after Shachi hands him a drink, not pushing you off when you lean against his arm and give him a smile.
“Happy birthday, Law.”
“Mm, thanks.”
While you take a sip of your own drink, Ikkaku catches your eye and gives you a wink, which makes you roll your eyes before Law sets his hand on your shoulder, nodding for you to follow him out of the common area up on deck. Ikkaku makes sure to pass you the wrapped gifts you have for Law when you walk by her, it makes you nervous to keep them behind your back when you both sit on the deck to relax away from everyone. You can still hear them shouting and laughing, a few already a little wasted but it makes you and Law smile.
“You crew loves you a lot.”
“Yeah,” Nodding, Law takes a sip from his drink before setting it down, “I love them a lot too…what’d Ikkaku hand to you?”
“…how the—”
“I’m not blind, you know,” his smirk only makes you pout, as you take the items out from behind you, “Neither of you are good at hiding things.”
“Fine,” you sigh heavily as a joke, but still smile as you hold the wrapped items out to him, “A gift for you.”
Law quiets as he stares at the gifts you have in your hands, before he finally takes them from you. The happy yet nervous smile you have tells him you weren’t really ready to give these to him, but Ikkaku seems to have forced your hand. You don’t seem mad about it though.
“…you really didn’t have to get me anything, I wouldn’t have been offended.”
You shrug a little, knowing it’s really not much, but it still makes you smile to see Law just a bit flustered by it. He obviously wasn’t expecting anything from you, but of course you surprise him once again. It seems like almost everything you do lately endears you to him even more than before.
What a mess we’re creating.
“I know but, I wanted to. As a birthday gift and to thank you for everything,” you watch while he starts to open the smaller gift, heart rate picking up out of anxiety, you’ve never felt so anxious giving someone a gift before, “It’s really not a lot, I just…I thought you’d like these…”
Law isn’t at all surprised to find a coin in the small box, he figured that must’ve been it, he’s so familiar with that size of box and the small sound it made when he picked it up. It’s nothing fancy, but it’s from Foosha Village, your hometown, it has to be one you’d brought with you as a keepsake. The port engraved on one side and the Goa Kingdom on the other, he can pick out the tiniest manufacturing errors and possible imprints on the small coin. It’s special though, he didn’t have one from there in his collection yet and you’ve added to it, how kind of you. He knows if you wanted to, Luffy would take your whole crew back to your home for a visit and you’d pick up another coin or two, you likely aren’t worried about giving one up.
Seeing his face light up a bit at it as he thanks you makes you smile softly, at least until he goes to open the other wrapped gift. You bite your lip out of worry and fidget a bit, not a single thing going unnoticed by Law who almost asks what’s wrong but realizes you’re just nervous for whatever reason. There’s nothing to be nervous about in his mind, until he sees what else you’ve given him, and it causes him to freeze up, which leads to you defending your gift to him.
“I…I found it in a bookstore on the last island…the shopkeeper didn’t want to sell it to me, but I was able to sneak it into my bag and get it out of there. I remembered everything you told me and…I just…”
It's a book about Flevance, the country’s history and culture, everything about the white lead export, the festivals they held, the little bit that was assumed about white lead disease itself. All of it there in his hands now, he didn’t know such a book existed. He would’ve thought any and all traces of Flevance had been destroyed by the World Government, including books detailing the country itself. But they missed one, the one you’d been lucky enough to find and steal from the bookstore, that you thought you should give to him so he had a piece of his home again.
When he doesn’t say anything for several minutes, you start to bite your lip, wondering if you’ve made a mistake. He flips through the book quietly, not making known what he thinks at all.
“I—”
“That’s my sister and I.”
Law finally speaks up again, having stopped on a page for longer than you noticed, pointing out one of the pictures printed on it. You lean in just enough to look, smiling at the picture he’s showing you. The boy is obviously Law, he has the same grin you’ve rarely seen, and the girl has her brown hair tied into small pigtails, smiling just as widely next to him. You hadn’t really read too much of it, just getting an idea of what Law’s hometown was like, but that picture makes you realize how happy he was back then.
“She’s cute.”
“I think,” he interrupts your thoughts and makes you look at him again, “that was during a summer festival. Lami would’ve been four, I remember buying her ice cream and playing a game to win her a stuffed rabbit…she didn’t let go of it for months.”
“She looks like you.”
“No, she doesn’t,” Law scoffs, but chuckles a bit, flipping to another page, “I forgot a reporter had taken our picture then…these are my parents….”
It's another picture from the festival, but this time just his parents are shown, probably having been nearby to make sure their children didn’t wander off. Now you see why he said Lami didn’t look like him, she was a carbon copy of their mom. You never would have guessed those pictures were in that book, or that Law remembered when they were taken.
“…you look just like your dad.”
Nodding, Law closes the book and sets it to the side. He’ll read it fully later, those pictures and the small flip through he’s done are enough for tonight. He has to push those emotions down for now and doesn’t push you away when you give him a hug that he quietly returns, thanking you.
Neither of you moves or says anything for a while, before you look up at Law and speak.
“Hey, Law?”
“Hmm?”
“…tell me that I haven’t misread all of this.”
Law is stunned into complete silence, more frozen than he was earlier, when you lean up just enough to press the softest kiss to his lips, it’s almost like it doesn’t happen but he knows it does. You’ve actually kissed him, his feelings aren’t unrequited after all! The fact you think you’ve misread everything he's said and done the last few months, he just wants to sit and tell you everything now. How he’s been stressed about telling you, he wasn’t sure you really felt the same.
But now he is! The confirmation he’s been looking for despite the fact he was already certain you felt the same. With the way you’ve spent so much of your free time together he should’ve realized it sooner, how everything just led you both to each other every time. Its unreal that this is happening, that you’ve taken that first step to change your relationship with him. He really did think it would never happen, you’d both be forever pining, or the feelings would fade.
Honestly Law’s relieved you decided to take the chance, he wasn’t sure how or when to do it himself. He’s not used to this, what should he even be doing now?
Maybe he should be kissing you back, Law realizes a moment later, when you pull away just enough for him to see the disappointed almost sad look on your face. He’d gotten so caught in his thoughts that you must think he doesn’t feel the same, all because he was so distracted he didn’t think to return your kiss.
“Sorry,” Oh you sound so sad, it nearly breaks his heart to hear your voice, to see you looking away from him, “I…I shouldn’t ha—”
“Don’t,” Law nearly whispers it, moving both hands to hold your face and makes you look at him, “Don’t apologize.”
A barely audible ‘okay’ is your response before Law properly returns your first kiss, letting you slip your arms around his neck while he moves one hand to your waist to bring you a little closer to him. He knows this could be a misstep, that you may come to him in the morning and say you’d drank too much, that it shouldn’t have happened. But for now, he’s going to ignore the thoughts that tell him to stop. That he can’t be doing this, you’re a rival captain’s older sister, it’s not going to work out no matter how much he hopes it does. It doesn’t matter to him, not right now.
All that matters is you.
You and him, right now, with your hands in his hair, his arm around your waist, and his other hand stroking your cheek. It’s almost too much to believe it’s real but it is, he doesn’t know how he got so lucky. To be able to receive your affections and return them. Part of Law wonders if this was your plan all along, to get him away from everyone just to kiss him, even though he’s the one who led you away, but he thinks you didn’t plan this part at all, it just happened.
But it’s okay, he doesn’t mind. Not everything has to be planned down to the letter. You certainly weren’t in his plans.
This really might become a mess down the line, but does that matter? Just for a bit, he’ll ignore everything going on around you, Law will briefly ignore his plans just for a few moments tonight. For the several minutes you two spend in a silent confession of feelings that had built up over the last few weeks, he’s going to ignore reality.
Until you softly push him away, Law wonders if he did something wrong, only to see you give him a shy smile.
“Happy birthday, Law.”
He laughs slightly, shaking his head before kissing you again.
“Thank you, [Y/N]-ya.”
You really can’t wait to tell Ikkaku about this.
+!+
Eventually Law walks you to your room, your gift to him in one hand while you hold onto his other one, fingers laced together and stroking the back of his hand with your thumb. You two haven’t fully decided what you are yet, you’ll discuss it later, he’s promised you that. Even if Law would like to sit and talk things through with you tonight, it’s late and there are things to do the next day. The rest of the crew might be hungover and sick in the morning, but they’ve got to get a move on to the next island, there are more hearts to be collected.
Once you’re back to your room, Law kisses you once more for the night, thanking you again for the gifts, before he heads off to his office. He tries to hurry so you don’t see the pink blush on his face, but you already have, you just don’t tell him. You simply say goodnight in return, going into your room and leaning against the door with a dreamy sigh and smile on your face, which Ikkaku picks up immediately when she sees you from her bed.
“So…how’d it go?”
“I kissed him.”
“What?!”
“And he kissed me back…for a few minutes.”
“Holy shit, you got Law to make out with you?!”
Before you can say anything else, Ikkaku tells you to wait, jumping out of bed to grab your arm after she locks the door and drags you to her bed, making you sit down. She quickly goes to her dresser and pulls out a small wine bottle she’d hidden from the boys and joins you back on her bed with it.
“How long have you been hiding that?”
“Doesn’t matter! Tell me everything!”
The alcohol burns but Ikkaku’s giggling at your retelling of what happened with Law makes you smile and giggle in return. She looks like she’s reading a slow burn romance novel while you tell her everything that’s happened, giving Law his gift and kissing him, how he returned it and said you’ll talk about things later. She rolls her eyes a bit at that but the few yawns you give tell her that was probably the reason why he said that.
Once you finish telling the story, you sigh again and fall back on her bed, still smiling while Ikkaku watches you.
“That was my first kiss…”
“Really??”
“Mm,” you nod a little, thinking back and knowing that’s true, “I wonder if it was his too.”
“Probably. Captain hasn’t shown interest in anyone before, I’d be surprised if he’s ever kissed anyone that wasn’t on a dare.”
You look like you’re thinking, but Ikkaku smiles before she takes a drink of the wine and lays beside you.
“This is so cool, you and Law. I knew there was something there when I saw you two working together.”
“Oh please, I doubt he’s liked me that long.”
“You never know! Imagine he’s liked you since Amazon Lily!”
“Now that’s way too far back!”
The two of you stay up laughing and talking, the few worries you have about what’s next dissipating as Ikkaku tells you everything she’s noticed that led her to believing Law liked you, it makes you so much happier to know your feelings are reciprocated.
After he makes it back to his office, Law nearly collapses on the ground, his energy spent and his emotions going haywire.
The gifts you’ve given him, the kiss you shared, he doesn’t know how to fully process all of it. It’s so foreign to him, he doesn’t think he’s felt so happy since the time he spent with Cora, he’s sure he hasn’t felt this loved since then either, even though he’s sure you’re not in love with him yet.
Law sets your gifts on his desk, he’ll put them away in the morning, placing his face in his hands to try and stop the blush he knows is there and the smile that he can’t seem to wipe off no matter how much he tries to. He tries to calm himself down, tell himself this isn’t a big deal, maybe you will come by in the morning and tell him it was a mistake, but he hopes and prays you don’t.
I can’t believe she kissed me. I didn’t expect that…
“Heeey, Law, I’m heading up for night watch,” Penguin knocks on the doorway a bit, stepping into Law’s office as his captain just nods, making him raise an eyebrow, “Something good happen, Cap?”
“Yeah…yeah, something good happened.”
+!+
It takes a few weeks still for Law to ask to take you on a date, but you waste no time in accepting the offer. He tells you not to let it out to anyone, but you may have slipped up and told Ikkaku when you asked for her opinion on what to wear. The two of you sounded like schoolgirls with how you were giggling and chatting over the fact Law actually wanted to take you out for a date, your feelings aren’t one-sided, he really does like you back! It only feels so strange to know that because of how Luffy and Ace would chase off boys that liked you way back when, even if you liked the boy back, your brothers couldn’t stand the thought of one of them taking you away. None of them were good enough for you.
You think Ace would’ve liked and approved of Law. Even though he’s older than you, if they’d been able to meet, you’re sure Ace would have liked Law, liked the fact he’s also a doctor, and that he makes you happy so far.
The night of your date doesn’t really go as planned though. Everyone except Ikkaku, Bepo, Law, and you are off the ship, exploring the town you’re docked near, Law had sent them all out with a day off and stayed on board along with you to get ready for your date and make sure no one was going to find out about it. He’s not ready for the teasing that’s to come and wants this to stay as secret as possible.
Once you’re dressed and ready, you expect Law to come get you from your room like he said he would at the time he’d told you, but he’s late and you start to worry when it gets later and later.
Had he changed his mind and decided to stand you up? No, no Law would never do that, if he didn’t want to go out with you he would’ve said so, he probably never would have asked in the first place.
Right? Right. Law wouldn’t leave me without an answer.
Again you’re at his office door, knocking to see if he answers and once again, you receive no response. He hasn’t left the ship you know that, Ikkaku said she saw him in his office just a few minutes before he was supposed to come get you, so what happened?
“Law? Are you ready to go?” Still no response, so you decide to again let yourself in, you aren’t prepared to see Law is still in his office, but appears to be passed out on the floor, it actually scares you.
“Law!! What happened?!” You hurry over and make sure he’s still breathing, relieved to find he is, before checking him for a fever. “What the hell, Law, are you all right?!”
What a way for your first date to start.
~~
Law never wanted you to know just how nervous he really was about your first date, he kept it all to himself. He only let Penguin know about it by accident, to get some advice that he thought might be helpful, but his friend only ended up telling things not to do. He rolled his eyes and gave up on that, only asking if it was normal to feel like he was going to be sick at the thought of taking you to dinner
“Yeah for a first date, that sounds normal, Cap.”
“How do I get rid of it?”
“I…well…go on the date and see?”
Yes, very helpful advice. It didn’t help with the constant dizzy feeling he had, though Law thinks that may have been slight dehydration from his nerves causing him to forgo all water and food that day. He really didn’t want to risk actually throwing up before or during your date and grossing you out.
Unfortunately, all of it hit him at once when he was leaving his office to go get you, causing Law to realize how badly he’d neglected himself that day, and the day before, as he passed out without the chance to call for someone’s help.
But when he opens his eyes a while later and sees you giving him a worried smile, he knows he’s screwed up. He blinks a few times, barely registering that he’s laying down on the couch in his office, he knows he hit the floor. He can feel the pain in his head from it, yet he doesn’t mind too much feeling your hand in his hair or his head in your lap.
“Hey, you.”
“[Y/N]-ya…?”
“In the flesh.”
“What…what happened…?”
“You tell me,” giving him a concerned smile, you gently run your fingers through Law’s hair while he looks up at you like he’s thinking, “You were late coming to get me, I was worried you’d changed your mind…when I came to see what was up, you were passed out on the floor. Bepo helped me get you here.”
“I…I don’t remember,” he shakes his head a bit before sitting up, finally remembering what it was and groaning, “Wait, yes I do. I was about to come to your room, when I started to feel dizzy. I…guess I passed out…”
“Do you have a fever? Are you feeling okay? We don’t have to go out if you’re sick, Law! We can do it another day.”
Law really doesn’t want to admit the reason for his dizziness and sudden fainting, once he realizes what caused it all, he doesn’t want you to feel bad about something you couldn’t control. It’s all on him for stressing out so much about the date, he just wants to impress you. He's never done this before, dating isn’t in his skill set.
“…Law?”
“Don’t worry about it, I’m fine.”
He gets up so quickly you don’t have time to stop him, but still follow and grab his arm.
“Hey, talk to me,” you make him turn to face you, smiling softly even though he doesn’t look at you, he’s keeping his eyes on the ground, “Whatever it is, I won’t be upset. If you want to postpone, that’s fi—”
“Why do you even like me?”
“What—”
“There’s nothing good about me,” Law moves to pull away from you, but you keep your grip on his sleeve, not letting him get away, “I’m not a good person, you deserve someone who is. You deserve someone who can make you happy, not…not me…I can’t do that…”
The silence feels deafening, when you don’t respond right away. He’s sure you’re rethinking all of this now. His birthday when you kissed him, the few times in between then and now where you’d stop him to kiss his cheek and he’d return it with one to your forehead, how he’s walked you to your room each night, and the few times he’s let you share his bed for the night. When he finally decided to ask you on a date the other day, even though you gave him the brightest smile he’s ever seen from you, he doesn’t believe you could be happy with him.
Who could ever be happy with him, with someone who’s seen so much death in his life, at only twenty-five, when he’s bent on avenging Cora and stopping Kaido?
Why would you want anything to do with that?
“I…am happy, though,” you move to hold Law’s hand, placing your other on his face to make him look at you, “I like you, Law. I really do and I feel happy when I’m around you, you can ask Ikkaku. I tell her all the time how much I like you, how much I want to be with you.”
“You don’t—”
“I’m not lying. I don’t know what you’re thinking about us, and that’s okay right now, but I…I can see myself with you now and in the future. I promise, Law, you make me happy, just by being you.”
Law doesn’t have a chance to say anything before you kiss him, trying to convince him of your feelings being real. He’s hesitant to return it but does so after a moment, before you pull away with a smile.
“…you look nice.”
“Thank you…you do too.”
“I…I was going to take you to dinner.”
“Oh yeah?”
Law nods, wanting to explain better, before you start to sit down, still holding his hand to bring him to the floor with you. When he tries to speak, you just shake your head.
“It’s my turn to ask a question.”
“What about—"
“Will you tell me about your tattoos?”
Law doesn’t pull his hand away from you, while you continue hold it and gently run your finger over the cross on the back of his hand, he has to fight not to just intertwine his fingers with yours.
This isn’t how he thought your first date would go. Not you finding him passed out from stress and turning it into simply talking. He knows already he’s going to make it up to you with a proper date at the next island.
“For my family, and for Cora-san…” he points first to the ones on his hands and forearms, placing his free hand on his chest to point out the one for Corazon though you could’ve guessed that.
Humming, you nod, Law brings his other hand up to softly tuck a piece of hair behind your ear before cupping your cheek and watching you lean into his hand.
He really is very sweet.
“For your crew?”
“My jolly Roger on my back.”
“…what about for you?”
Law takes a deep breath but doesn’t say anything for a bit. He keeps holding your hand, staring at his own, wondering if he should admit it or not. What will you think? Will you decide you don’t want to bother with him?
You probably read the book you gave him, the one about Flevance, he could tell the book had been read. It didn’t go into detail about his home’s destruction, chalking it up to the white lead disease and scarcity of resources, but he wasn’t surprised when he got there himself. The government would never admit wrongdoing, they’d never allow their involvement to be published.
But he thinks you should know. You haven’t walked away after hearing his story, his past, you’re still here with him. You look like you already know what he’s going to say, a sad smile now on your face as you look at his hand in yours.
“’Death’…for what’s marked my life since I was ten.”
He’s quiet, like he’s worried he’s going to scare you off, like he’s marked you for death just by developing feelings for you, allowing himself to entertain the thought of being with you. Everyone he’s ever loved has died, it could be the same for you if trends are anything to go by. It wouldn’t be fair to you, to Luffy, if anything happened simply because you’ve chosen to be with him, Law doesn’t want anything to happen to you. You’ve both been through things, of varying degrees, what could you want with someone like him?
Law tries to pull away from you, you’ve been quiet for so long now, he thinks he’s effectively squashed your feelings for him, you don’t want to be with him now, he's sure of it.
But you don’t let him get too far away, wrapping your arms around him and laying your head on his chest. Law isn’t really sure what to make of this. It’s not like before, when you’ve hugged him other times, you’re still quiet yourself though you nod.
“I don’t think that’s true anymore…not with this crew, this family you’ve built.”
“[Y/N]-ya—”
“I’d like to stay by your side and prove you wrong,” you tighten your arms around him as Law finally returns your hug, tighter than you even expected, “if you’ll let me.”
“…as long as you’ll have me.”
You both stay quiet for a bit, eventually you look up at Law and give him a soft smile before leaning up to kiss him again, which he returns without any hesitation this time.
It'll take some time for him to be fully comfortable and accepting of this, of the love and attention you’re ready to so freely give him, but you’re willing to give him that time.
Anything to make sure Law knows you aren’t going anywhere, even when you have to return to your crew. You’re not going to let him go very easily.
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20 Channeled Messages From Your FS
Hello, it is Inner Viper! I love channeling these messages, some are oddly specific and they are very sweet. I am currently in the middle of planning a very long reading for you guys! I’m thankful for your support for my blog. I created this blog for fun and for people to smile more, I really hope that people can smile more. I am not going to lie, sometimes channeling can be overwhelming for me but this blog has helped me improve in my overall abilities. I even unlocked some new abilities so thanks, everyone!
If you want a paid reading please check out my list here.
Remember to choose the image that is calling out to you. Take what resonates and leave what doesn’t because this is a general pac reading. Some messages are not meant for you, while other messages aren’t meant for you. Also, this is meant to give you insight, not concrete evidence.
I hope you enjoy the reading for today!
TW: Mentions of body dysmorphia, abuse, and slightly suggestive content
»»————- ♡ ————-««
Pile 1
“Hey, come closer so I can kiss you. My day always starts well with you at my side”
“Stay with me forever, I promise to take care of you”
“Don’t deny me, you know you like what you see ;)” (They winking here lol)
“Don’t think you can run away, I finally have you all to myself. You won’t be prepared for what I have planned for”
“Fuck, I wish you were right here. It’s boring without you here right now”
“Oh, what a pleasant surprise! I also got something for you”
“You have stolen my heart, if eros were here then he has struck me to be in love with you even more than before”
“I love you for who you are, I want to be like you”
“Hello? Hello? HELLO? GIVE ME ATTENTION, I’M BORED! I NEED YOU RIGHT NOW”
“Stop, let’s go over here.. Hehe you didn’t expect that right!” (They kissed you but also I leave it up to the imagination since this is GENERAL pac lol)
“Let’s go to Japan, I want to see the cheery blossoms with you. To take a picture of you underneath the petals following. I’ll cherish that picture for the rest of my life”
“Wanna go out tonight? Good thing you said yes because I have already made reservations for us to spend some time alone”
“Hey, do you think you can kiss me? Kiss me now!”
“The warmth I feel near you, the way I am at peace with you, yet my heart still races with you at my side”
“You always make me feel horny, I love everything you do!”
“What’s wrong? Hey, don’t worry. I love you forever and always. You can always rely on me”
“I will patiently wait for you, my heart can’t bare to lose you”
“You are always helping others, why can’t you stop helping? You should chill and let others help, ugh you have such a big heart and that’s why I love you”
“When I see you sitting there passionately drawing, I wonder how it feels to see the world from your lens. The way you think and the words you say amaze me”
“Let me touch you, let me be the one to hold you, let me be the one to always be there for you, will you give me the honor?”
This person is very sweet and romantic. Love these messages I channeled for you pile 1. Honestly, my heart was feeling warm too, there will be so many precious moments with your FS every day.
Pile 2
“Each day is a beautiful day with you, the joy that you bring me is like no other. I can’t put my feelings into words”
“I want to give you strawberries with chocolates, are you being seduced by me now?”
“What is this strange feeling.. I feel like I am on drugs when I am near you. You drive me crazy in the best way possible”
“See! I told you that you would like fine wearing this! Baby, you are gorgeous!” (Maybe you are insecure about yourself? Body dysmorphia? )
“At the end of the rainbow, there is a pot filled with gold, they say that the gems are precious and that the leprechauns hide them away. You are my gold, I am like the leprechaun. I want to keep you with me forever and away from people that might try to steal you away from me!”
“I can create so many things, you inspired a different style in me. Artistic style, yeah this artistic expression of the love that I feel for you. Divine love baby” (Aw, I heard this one strongly)
“Our love doesn’t stop at death, it is eternal. My love knows no bounds with you!”
“I used to believe that I won’t be able to find the one, I often times pondered if you were even out there. I wondered if you thought about me while staring at the moon. I am glad to have found you”
“I finally found you in this sea of fishes. The ocean is far too vast yet I will still go looking for you”
“I love making you smile, you always make me smile. Can you promise to laugh with me?”
“You are the only one that I’ll let inside my heart, no one else is allowed except for you”
“The world was dull, ever since you came into my life. You have brought a fresh perspective that I needed to see. I couldn’t have seen it without you here”
“I want to overstimulate you”
“Follow my lead, I won’t leave you behind. I’ll always protect you until the end of my life”
“Roses are red, and your face is red”
“You are safe with me, you are my safe space”
“I feel like I can just be me when I am with you”
“Let's show our love to the world baby”
“My heart beats so fast around you, I worry that you may be able to hear it”
“I went through so much in my life, you are the only person I feel safe with. I struggle with vulnerability but you make me feel better”
This person went through a lot! I’m sorry for this pile’s FS because I feel they went through some abuse and they have a hard time expressing emotions. They are going to heal with you when you meet them! They are opening up to people slowly though!
Pile 3
“I wonder how many days till you notice how much I love you and care for you”
“I love watching you sleep, your resting face is beautiful”
“You are beautiful in every moment, I want to capture your essence”
“Dear god I love you so fucking much”
“I just want to dance with you, lets dance until the night”
“Let go of the fear of not being enough”
“I have given you all of me and now you’ll give yourself to me! Submit to me because I am Daddy”
“I love the way that you praise me, give me more compliments! You have no idea what it does to me”
“I am honored to be the one to cherish you, to be the one to hold you dearly, thank you for giving me the honor”
“We may have not been there for each other first half of our lives but that doesn’t mean we can’t create memories or form a close bond. We have the rest of our lives, let’s take each day to create something new”
“Oh god, I am a late bloomer. I haven’t had my first love until you, I mean I dated a couple of people but I never loved them. You are the first and last love of my life and I promise to commit to that”
“People often tell me how I got into a relationship with you, you are so fine! I don’t have much of an answer because you are just the one. I never believed in finding the one until I met you. Ok, maybe I am lying because I am a hopeless romantic”
“Ah, you like my sweet words don’t you love?”
“Let’s look at the stars tonight, I will be staring at you all night because you are my light. You are my star in this world”
“You are my best friend and you are my lover”
“The angels are around us because you are an angel! You were sent from the heavens down onto earth!”
“You are nothing like me! You are so different and I never met anyone like you before”
“I want to scream your name tonight, come on you will be screaming my name tonight as well”
“I look at you from afar and I can tell that it is you because no one is as beautiful and as bright as you are”
“I love your laughter, your hair, your eyes, everything about you is so fine”
This pile’s FS is very sweet and romantic! They view you as their best friend and they love everything about you. They think that you have so much to offer for this world, they are intoxicated by you. Also, I think for this pile you may be their first love and for some their first everything! It’s so cute <3
»»————- ♡ ————-«« Thank you for reading! If you want a paid reading please check out my list here.
#pac#tarot#hellenic pagan#pagan witch#pick a card#witchcraft#paganism#pick a pile#tarot cards#tarot pick a card#daily tarot#tarot deck#tarot reading#divination#fs pac#pac future spouse#pac tarot#pac reading
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also some clarity for the askbox
1) questions that will be answered by the comic but have yet to be will be deleted. this is the rule im calling 'let me cook' because all will be revealed if you wait patiently for your delicious meal
2) questions that dont serve any interest to other readers will (typically) be answered privately. i do really appreciate all the kind words - i try my best to answer these kinds of asks when they come in, but if i dont get to them right away i promise i still appreciate them!
3) questions are meant to be directed to the characters to answer! while idm answering some questions about my process or art, the ask box is meant to go to the laikas characters so i can draw responses. its actually been so long since ive gotten one like that i dont know if people realize that. (which is okay! thats why im clarifying)
4) though it has been very sparse, any asks that are innapropriate will result in being blocked from the comic's blog and my main and art account as well. innapropriate truly just means any violent or explicitly sexual content (saying 'i think laika is cute/pretty/hot/etc!' or 'i want yues hand in marriage' [all things i have recieved already] are A Okay 🫡)
all i ask is that people keep in mind, while laikas does deal with more serious subject matter this is still an all ages comic. additionally, im just one person writing this comic myself. some of the things people send me can be rather distressing sometimes... all im asking is people please remember i am a person too, and i want to keep writing my comic for you all! i cannot offer much more than that.
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Congratulations, first of all, for reaching the milestone 💐💐💐 you deserve every single follower, and then some. Your art is always so pretty and I love how you bring us along during your process.
Secondly, would you like to make art based on this fic of mine? I'm thinking right at the beginning, when Eddie falls to his knees on stage and he and Steve have their "moment".
Thank you for hosting this fanart party ❤️
Steve tilts his head, and Eddie prepares for a kiss. He gets no lips, only tongue; Steve licks his mouth, from one corner to the other.
🎸🎸🎸
@2btheanswertothequestion
This one was SO MUCH FUN TO DO. I had trouble finding good references for the ambiance, but I love the result. Please, go read the fic, it's so good.
I know that I don't know many of the users that sent me requests a few weeks ago, but I've got a tiny story to tell about this one (I'm getting to know you little by little and I'm falling for every single one of you, you talented fuckers). They are the reason I am in Tumblr. It happens that I created an account many months ago, and didn't know how to use this, I just clicked "follow" to the tags and the blogs ST/Steddie related that posted fics and arts, and on my way to work, in the bus, I read the first chapter of a fanfic that made lose my stop (literally, I got late to the office that day).
Sad thing is the next time I opened the app, the fic was gone. I just remembered a few things and god knows that the search bar in this site works... well, works. Sometimes. I couldn't find it. I made it my personal goal to actually find this fic again, and this user, whose name I didn't catch because, again, I didn't know how to use Tumblr. This user pulled a full Cinderella on me, reading with intent every fic until the shoe fit. And I found it by mere coincidence, because they posted the third part, and I was like "WAIT IS THIS IT?". And it was it.
In the meanwhile, I actually completed my account, like you know, trying not to make it look like a bot (that I learned that it was a bad thing that could get me blocked), I put a profile picture, I made it decent, I learned how to use Tumblr (a bit). So, you see. This user, my beloved @2btheanswertothequestion is the one to blame that I actually stuck in this place. If you're wondering which one was the fic that got me so hooked up it was November Paramedic. (Here the AO3 link). Go read it, you're gonna love it.
(I'm kinda mad that they didn't asked me to draw the actual picture of the calendar, though. I have some ideas, I might draw it the future, because when I say that I hold this fic very close to my heart, I mean it.)
I really, really hope you like it, I worked hard on it and I did this with every bit of love stored in my heart ❤️❤️❤️
#inklessletter#trust the process#fanart#steddie#steddie fanart#steve harrington#eddie munson#stranger things#st art#st fanart#digital art#artists on tumblr#concert#kissing#ink's art#final art#2btheanswertothequestion#fic#fic rec#sorry it took so long#it looks hot tho#piercings suit them so bad
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LIKE AN OLEANDER
Summary: Bill Cipher needs a footstool and a thoroughly Stockholmed Ford is happy to oblige.
Relationships: Bill Cipher & Ford Pines, Pyronica is there too
Content Warnings: Abuse, Master/Pet, Psychological Torture/Horror/Trauma, Stockholm Syndrome, Victim Blaming, Sensory Deprivation
Tags: Triangle Bill, Canon Divergence - Weirdmageddon, Bill Cipher Wins, Collars, Chains, Whump, Hurt No Comfort, Bill Cipher is a Jerk
Word Count: 1,306
Link to AO3: Here
A/N: Based on @jellyskink’s immaculate Domesticated Ford AU, in which Bill mentally breaks Ford in the 1980s and brainwashes him into an obedient and fawning pet. Weirdmageddon started early, and over time the weirdness bubble surrounding Gravity Falls naturally expanded to contain both California and Oregon. If you want to learn more, there’s a lot more tidbits on their blog, though fair warning it’s a pretty dark and sad AU.
Thank you, jellyskink, for giving me the green light to write a fic for this!
I saw someone say this au is “all pain, no sex” which is really at the heart of what I look for in fics, but is so painstakingly absent in most fandoms, so this is a godsend •⩊•
If you haven’t listened to “Oleander” by Mother Mother what are you even doing with your life /lh
Bill Cipher is in a particularly good mood today. He and Pyronica probably broke a record for largest bonfire in California, even counting all their previous antics over the years. Not the dream demon’s most creative endeavor by a long shot, but hey, sometimes you just gotta start a blazing inferno to let off some steam. Nothing wrong with a bit of simple, straightforward arson now and then.
It’s only when he returns to the Fearamid, practically glowing, buzzing and high off the screams of the innocent, that he remembers the state he left Sixer in.
The man is in a kneeling position, collared by the neck. His hair, fluffy and disheveled, feathers down to around his shoulders, brushing against the cruel blue metal. His twelve fingers twitch and grasp at nothing, futilely, as though groping for purchase on a rugged cliffside. His purple sweater is rumpled in places, like he had pulled and grabbed at that too, to no evident avail. He’s whimpering to himself, words that are at first indiscernible as Bill enters the massive chamber.
The scientist is tethered to a ring near the base of the Throne of Frozen Human Agony, staring vacantly into the middle space, unseeing. It’s not his fault. Bill severed all input from his optic nerves, so he literally can’t see. Or hear. Or feel. Yeah, he cut off those nerves too. It was supposed to be a punishment that lasted a few hours. And then Bill had left and gotten carried away with his fun, and well, it had been an entire day.
Whoops.
Make no mistake, he doesn’t feel bad about it. If anything, it’s kind of funny, like forgetting to feed your dog! Wait. Humans don’t find that funny. Well, who can expect them to understand the emotions of an all-powerful chaos god? He draws closer, and the previously indiscernible words sharpen into clarity.
“I love you, my muse. I love you.”
Repeated ad nauseam to the uncaring void.
“Aww,” Bill clasps his hands together and brings them closer to his eye. “He’s so pathetic!” Pyronica, who came in with him, nods her agreement and laughs along. This must be what it’s like to catch your puppy mid-dream, its little tongue lolling and leg kicking at nothing.
He can’t remember whether he instructed his pet to repeat those words or not. Honestly, it’s anyone’s guess. Bill’s will and Ford’s are so inextricable at this point that Ford often does things without needing to be told. Of course, they’re not entirely on the same wavelength, or else punishment wouldn’t be required in the first place.
“Eh, remind me to snap him out of it in another half an hour,” Bill says, settling himself on the throne. With a wave of an arm he summons a martini glass. “I’m gonna have myself a drink.”
“Sure thing, boss.” He summons a glass for her too, and hipshot, she accepts. “Hey, you think we should’ve put the fire out before we left?”
They both share a hearty chuckle over that. “Would be a shame if it all burned down!” Bill sighs as the laughter dies down. “Nah, but seriously. California will still be there for us to play with tomorrow. And if it isn’t, we can always just rebuild it! In my image! Ha!”
“Yeah. Technically the fires are my image though.”
“Touché!”
They talk for a while, maybe 20 minutes or so in this fashion, casually sipping time punch and discussing unnatural disasters like they’re music festivals. Ford goes completely untouched and unnoticed, until suddenly Bill returns his attention to the human, and a light bulb goes off next to his hat.
“Wait. Do you wanna see something hysterical? I have the best idea.”
Every sensation returns to Ford at once in a flood of color, touch and sound. Sometimes, when Bill is feeling merciful, he eases him back into it, but his merciful moods are few and far between. More commonly, he likes to toss the scientist in the deep end and watch him flounder, tears quickly beading at the corners of Ford’s eyes and spilling fatly over his cheeks. His body convulses in a singular, broken sob, and before he can finish another apologetic, “I love you,” Bill hits him with a hard command.
“Stanford! I need a footstool!” The demon extends his legs and wiggles his feet a little. He whistles as though beckoning a dog. “Come ‘ere!”
Despite his disorientation, Ford rushes to obey, lurching in the direction of Bill’s voice and falling flat on his face. Shakenly, he picks himself off the ground, letting loose a singular groan.
“I’m still waiting!” Bill sings, swinging his legs a little for effect. Pyronica snickers. Ford tries again, following the sound of his muse’s voice, although he is quickly dismayed to find that he’s already reached the end of his chain. He falls just short of Bill’s feet, and no matter how he chokes himself, no matter how hard he tugs at the collar or the chain attached, he can’t go any further than this. His distress is evident in the way he keens.
“What are you doing?” Bill demands, rolling his eye. “All I asked for was a simple footstool and you can’t even do that? Bad! Bad dog!” Ford sobs.
“I-I’m sorry, my muse!” he rasps, the cold metal of the collar pressing in on his windpipe as he strains to obey. “I’m so sorry!”
Pyronica is practically in stitches at this point, and Bill is a showman, a class clown ever chasing the next laugh. “Are you really though?” His eye wanes to an amused crescent. “Do you even love me, if you can’t even follow a command as simple as this?”
“Yes!” Ford insists with a cry. “Yes, my muse, I love you! I’m sorry that I’m so useless… Please, please forgive me…”
“Why should I? Do you think you deserve forgiveness?”
“N- No,” Ford sniffs, “but—”
“Alright, alright. Since I’m in such a good mood, I’ll give you a hand.” Bill waves his hand in a circle and the chain elongates, allowing just enough slack for Ford to crawl under his waiting feet. Bill settles them heavily on top of Ford’s back and sighs. “Ahh, that’s better.” The man shakes under the weight.
“Thank you, my muse,” he says. Normally, he would be a lot happier about serving Bill like this, but he’s clearly still torn up over his recent punishment and failures. “Thank you so much.”
“Don’t mention it, kid!” Bill rests his hands behind his ‘head,’ or rather, the tip of his topmost vertex. “Maybe after this, if you’re good, you can have a treat.”
“R- Really? Oh, thank you so much, my muse. I promise I’ll be good.” His voice is still wavery from the earlier-shed tears, but his cheer seems to be returning. It’s not difficult to keep the man happy when he’s so thoroughly and hopelessly smitten with his muse. Bill could have Pyronica drop-kick Ford off the top of the Fearamid right now and when he reached the bottom he would find a way to smile and thank Bill, no matter how many broken pieces he was in.
“Yeah. Now shut up while I get some reading in. Hasn’t anyone ever told you footstools don’t talk? Sheesh.” With a sigh, Bill summons an extradimensional magazine and floats it in front of his eye, every so often flipping through the pages. Pyronica says she’s off to see what Teeth and Keyhole are up to, and Bill acknowledges her departure with a little grunt and wave. Ford stifles a whimper. His back has already been giving him issues lately, and this definitely isn’t helping matters, but he soldiers through it for his muse. He’s determined not to mess up again. He’s determined to be a good footstool.
A/N: This is my first time writing from Bill’s perspective! I don’t usually write him this cruel, so it was a fun change of pace to lean full force into that side of him. Thanks again, jellyskink, I hope you liked this little installment!
#Domesticated Ford AU#gravity falls#gravity falls au#bill cipher#ford pines#stanford pines#fanfic#fanfiction#archive of our own#ao3#tw abuse#toxic relationship#stockholm syndrome#image description in alt#cross posted on ao3#matcha-milkies ♡♡
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୨ ♡ ୧︰ TAROT 101: developing your intuition.
Hello lovelies, welcome to the first post of my Tarot 101 series! After receiving a few questions, I decided to incorporate a series of tips and tutorials for other self-taught readers. Today, I'm answering a follower's asks sent in my DM's. I'm tackling it separately, so it makes more sense to other people to read it. PS: Since this is a major work in progress and I'm not an all-knowing, almighty entity, please provide feedback, comments or concerns you might have! Thank you.
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How you develop your intuition and psychic abilities while reading tarot?
There is not one size fits all. While many readers recommend connecting to oneself, that's just the basis of it, really, but the main concept is to look at yourself, compassionately. Without the judgment of our everyday lives and the chaos of getting things right in the first attempt. You cannot be honest with yourself (or your intuition), if self-denial is the state you're living in. Or worse: if you view the truth as punishment.
It's always going to be a journey of discovery, and the first thing about spirituality is that you need to keep an open heart to the magic. Skepticism may get you far ahead in your career or financial matters, but when it comes to intuition, you can't grasp onto logic all the time.
With tarot, it's a little more practical: learn and lean into the cards. Notice I didn't say memorize, because many of us are busy enough with our everyday schedules. Just tap into them. Look at them. What does The Lovers remind you of? Maybe it takes you to the story about the Garden of Eden. Or- maybe it reminds you of your parents, their golden youth before marrying.
Again. No judgement. Let your stream of consciousness free. A huge part of reading tarot is allowing your imagination to run wild. Although the Devil card can symbolize obsession or addiction at first, take into account the spread, the topic. The context. What is your body telling you about the images you see?
We often underestimate the symbolism behind the cards. Without considering the traditional meanings,take one card out of your deck and just look at it. What colors are prominent? What do these colors represent in modern society? Do these people look happy? Are there any people at all? Where are they? Let your mind weave a story.
As a tarot reader, what you do on daily basis for intuition and tarot reading? What practices, book, or some kind of information which help you for tarot readings?
There are many things that have helped me, personally, but I'm going to mention some of the best practices I've seen, both for myself and for others.
› Stay creative. If it means drawing, writing, or painting, then stay creative. Find whatever little (or big) ways you can express your creativity. Remember you don't have to be "good". You can just be. Creativity exists in a lot of ways.
› Engage with other readers. Observe them. You can find a tarot reader that deeply resonates with you and watch how they read. Test if it works for you. Remember this is your practice, it's your sacred space, so you don't have to follow someone else's rules.
› Read, if and when you can. I personally recommend the book "History of Tarot" by Isabelle Nadolny, but not everyone can afford books or the time to read them. There are plenty of Youtube tutorials and free guidebooks on Biddy Tarot, for example. I also love Servant of The Fates' blog. They're both different and great, reliable sources.
› Start small. You can pull one card a day. Get a journal, write its meaning (or what it means to you) and record your progress. In a few months, when you return to it, you might find it surprising.
› Let yourself not know everything. No one does. Sometimes, you'll need to pause, go back to a guidebook and read the meaning all over again. Other times, you'll look at the spread and feel nothing. That's okay too. We're not meant to know all the answers.
Is meditation really important for reading tarot? Why? How much time do you spend daily for tarot readings and spiritual practices?
Since this is more of a personal matter, I'll be talking about myself. I don't meditate as often as most readers. Three times a month, maybe? I have a busy schedule and I can only meditate before bed, if I'm not too sleepy. Many people find that meditation makes them anxious or they're not able to fully let go. Other people find it that being in silence or taking a walk is more useful to them. Relaxation and meditation come in many, many forms. The important thing is to nurture your body and soul more than to adhere to rigid rules.
However, when it comes to saving time for readings or spiritual practices, I don't set rules for myself. It never works for me.
I let it flow. Sometimes, I go weeks on end without really consuming tarot content and I bond with my decks occasionally. And other times, I'm reading daily, journaling and trying to improve my skills. Since I have a billion other things to care for, I'm not always able to prioritize tarot as much as I'd like, but the important thing is to stay passionate, stay curious and get back to it. Better late than never.
When you're getting started, let yourself try. If you get it wrong, at least you'll be one step closer to getting it right.
amourdivine. 2021 - 2024 © do not copy, redistribute or edit my content.
#pick a card#tarotblr#tarot reading#pick a card reading#tarot#pac reading#tarot witch#witchblr#tarot community#tarot reader#tarot tips#witch tips#divination#tarot cards#spirituality#mine.#series: tarot 101#tarot 101: 001
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⋆。‧˚ Hello & welcome! ˚‧。⋆
My name is Spring! You can call me Spring, Springy, Springbon whichever you prefer! My pronouns are She/Her and this is my art blog! I just realized I've never done a proper introduction so... what's important?...
┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ˚★⋆。˚ ⋆ ┊ ┊ ┊ ⋆ ┊ ┊ ★⋆ ┊ ◦ ★⋆ ┊ . ˚ ˚★
Well, I speak both English and Spanish! And I draw... sometimes… mostly cartoons or things I like! (Please try not to spam like, I appreciate the support but it can sometimes be scary to me) I'm currently obsessed with Welcome Home but I also love BATIM, Cuphead, Cookie Run, many Musicals and many other things that I can't remember right now!
I still hope you enjoy being here! ^^
Info:
COMMISSIONS are: OPEN (INFO)
2nd TUMBLR (Doodles & Reblogs)
INSTAGRAM
Events I did:
The Missing CoWorkers (2023) The Star Collectors (2023)
˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗
"Have a wonderful day! Don't forget To Wave! Just wave, any direction!!"
˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗
Help me pay my OCD treatment: HERE
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IT IS DONE!! lil comic page for saisk @alan-in-the-outernet 's figment noogai ava au! you should check out their blog NOW they've got so many cool aus including this one that live in my brain forever. this was a LOT of fun to make and i hope i can share the figment brainrot with more people yayyyy
(today i offer you content exclusively for myself and 4 other people. tomorrow? content exclusively for myself and 4 other people)
summary of the au under the cut because this probably won't make sense if you aren't familiar
so the idea of the au is that victim finds alan's destroyed computer after ava3 and assumes he's dead. they can't deal with the end goal of their life, the target of all their hatred, suddenly being gone, and so being dreaming about and eventually hallucinating an imagined version of him to project that on ("noogai"/"figment")
over time (quite a long time) figment shifts away from the 'noogai' role and into more of, like, "constant imaginary frenemy" mixed with "your subconscious that says everything you'd rather hide from yourself, including the fact that you do want to be better than this"
so IDEALLY vic can move on, grow, and let figment go. but what if they get desperate and lonely and attached enough to make figment real with rocket tech? well let's say figment is NOT having a fun time experiencing Everything At Once Suddenly and victim is quite disappointed in this outcome
that's the gist of what leads up to the comic! figment just... having to exist now, despite the very foundation of its "self" being the fact it isn't real... remembering things from its perspective in the past but knowing those memories never actually happened because it didn't exist... figuring out who to even be as a person, now that it is a person at all, and victim refusing to let it do that because it has been the only constant presence in vic's life for years and is now trying to change... these guys make me so mentally illllll
(not pictured in comic: vic losing their SHIT at figment's comparison)
again CHECK OUT SAISK'S BLOG THEY WRITE/DRAW A LOT OF COOL THINGS (including all the stuff i just summarized, created with some input of askers over there! i just drew the funny arts!!)
yeah this was really a blast to work on (even if also a pain sometimes) over the last 1-2 weeks and i got to practice a lot of things i haven't done in a long time. very happy i was able to finish this :D
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I kinda accidentally been away :(
When I take a hiatus you'll see I don't announce it beforehand because it usually just happens instead of being a planned thing, so I apologize if I made people worry about me (again) but I'm doing fine! A plethora of things happened in the time being, and I feel like it's relevant to mention them here for some clarity. (I didn't intend to make this post so long, I'll crop here so it's easier to navigate)
First I feel like I have been falling out of love with art as a whole. My interest in a lot of stuff has been fading away, I haven't been keeping up with twst for one, and since a lot of my inspiration comes from the stuff I'm hyperfixating on I barely have been creating anything. My uni assigments so far were uninspired at best lol it sucks my mood relies so much on art and vice versa. The only times I feel actual joy is when I'm hanging out with my friends every now and then, I'm mostly alone through the rest of the week.
And it's with this habit of going out that I fluctuated towards using less social media. I don't think I ever liked having a presence online, and that's something I've been doing since highschool for no reason that matters to me anymore. Just quitting isn't something I can do because first, I think it's important getting my news from it; and second, I still want to do commissions, and I'm aiming to turn my socials into something more professional in the near future, rather than the life diary that I had a tendency of building them as. Of course there's nothing wrong with making socials a personal thing, it's just not my style, and with my anxiety of being perceived I realized I can only handle so much of it lol
I also had some personal losses, and it feels like a lot of people around me were having a hard time with theirs coincidentally, so that made me kinda sad too. I won't specify much but I think that's worth mentioning.
The tldr is that I'm lost, I don't know how I got here, and I feel like it only gets worse the longer I stand around doing nothing but I prefer to think that sometimes things get worse before they get better, I know they will get better.
I'm writing all of this from the perspective of how I feel at the moment, the conclusions I'm taking with this kinda depressive state of mind, so I imagine things can still change once I begin to feel brighter again, who knows.
Thank you for everyone who left kind messages on my askbox after all this time, idk if I can reply to all individually but I did read them and I appreciate them very much! I hope everyone is doing well too and staying safe.
And on a side note I'm sorry to the people who asked other things related to my art/blog way before I took this break, I wanted to answer them in a fun way but they've gathered too much dust by now and my inspiration is long gone. I think I'll be cleaning up my askbox since the longer I leave it unnatended the more overwhelmed it makes me feel 😥 I messed it up this time I admit, I apologize again to everyone I kept waiting.
I have a few old drawings I haven't shared here yet, maybe I'll post them if I manage to remember it :)
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Hey! I really really love your blog! If I may request, during downtime, how would the members of the inner circle react to find the Inquisitor drawing/sketching them?
“Companions react to Inquisitor drawing/sketching them”
After our *cough* little thing with Bull, let’s have some fluff, shall we? Thank you anon for the ask!
-Lord Lex
Cullen
“You did this? It’s certainly…it’s…how did you even…it’s amazing.”
-So surprised, no words. It makes him feel a little special that you’d choose to sketch him but also very embarrassed. In return, he tries drawing you. Might not be as good and there are a few rough sketches that were thrown in the fire, but he wanted to return the favor.
Josephine
“Oh! Look at the detail and the softness! I wouldn’t have even thought it was me from how stunning it is!”
-Absolutely gushing over it. Josey’s always had a fascination for the arts and to be the subject of the piece from someone close to her? Adores it, even asks to keep it. She has it tucked away in one of her favorite books. Will always compliment your art even when talking to dignitaries.
Leliana
“I commend you on your artistic talent. Though, I’d ask you not to sketch me. Perhaps one of the ravens would make better practice?”
-Like Josephine, Leliana has an eye for art. She loves looking at the little details in your sketches and finds it a surprise that her face is amongst the papers. As much as she appreciates it, she’d rather her face remain a secret. She is your spy master, after all. Though, if she becomes Divine, she keeps the sketch as one of her favorite pieces of her.
Vivienne
“Darling, as much as I’d like to say you're wasting your talents by leading the Inquisition instead of honing your skills, you are equally talented in both. Most usually fail to make me look this stunning.”
-It might not show on her face or in her words but she loves it. Several times people have been commissioned to paint her yet none come even close to your level of detail. More points if it’s of her smiling or laughing, the lines on her face as well as the wrinkle around her eyes gives her a sense of…normalcy. If she becomes Divine, she commissions you to do her portrait, no one else.
Varric
“You drew me? I think that’s gotta be one of the scariest pieces of your art I’ve ever seen! When you're done, can I keep it?”
-Though it doesn’t sound like it, he brags about it constantly. Even when he’s making fun of his slightly crooked nose or how his eyes might seem smaller than other dwarves, he’s complimenting the skill you put into the very minute details of his face. Varric will try to pay you for it even if you refuse, later trying to commission a drawing of Hawke when they come around.
Cole
“Oh, it’s me! Not really, but it’s Cole. But you’re trying to draw me…I can still remember his face, then.”
-He’ll stare at it for hours, his shoulders down. It’s been sometime since he’d been able to see his own face, forgetting that he even had a face. To see you draw that face, the real Cole, just from looking at him makes him happy. Will ask to look at it every now and then, just to make sure it’s still the same.
Solas
“I must say, you are quite talented and steady with your hands. It does allow others to see how the artist sees. You certainly make me seem…at peace.”
-From one artist to another, he gives you high compliments with very few complaints. It is unusual to see him drawn in such a way since he’s so used to seeing only the mosaics. He meant to get rid of it when he left the Inquisition, but just couldn’t bring himself to do it.
Cassandra
“Inquisitor, though your craft is very beautiful and I admire how you can make these pieces, I must ask you not to sketch me.”
-Don’t get her wrong, she loves seeing your sketches but it’s mostly out of formality (and somewhat embarrassment) that she asks not to be your subject. If she becomes Divine, it’s one of the only pieces she prefers over the paintings. Though she does ask you, if you have the time, to draw something for her. When you give her a perfect picture of her brother and her, it’s one of the few times she truly hugs you.
The Iron Bull
“Holy shit. I’m alright when it comes to sketching, but you make it look pretty damn easy while so complicated! You even got my scars and the detail on my patch! Damn, boss!”
-Bull is used to doing quick sketches, usually of small details to make sure he could track someone or to remember something easier. Never had he really seen himself drawn so picture perfect that it completely baffles him. He looks at all the details with a smile on his face.
Dorian
“I can’t believe you managed to get my good side! In all honesty, though, this is remarkable. And not just because it’s me.”
-He had studied some art pieces before and never really found any he liked, but he has now found one of his favorite artists. Constantly asks if you’ve done any new pieces just so he can look at the heart that goes into them. Ask if you could teach him to sketch as such so that he can add better drawings to his research notes.
Sera
“What the fuck! That’s me! How the fuck! How did you do this! You even got my eyes to be lined up! How the hell did you do that?!”
-We all know Sera’s drawing style. She keeps saying the same things over and over again because she’s at a loss for words. Except for cuss words. Along with the rooftop hangouts, she insists that you two just draw together sometimes. Some of the goofiest drawings come from these times, especially one of a cartoonish Coryshit falling from a very detailed tower.
A little speech bubble near it says “Oh shit, I shat myself!”
Blackwall
“I…I’m honored to be one of your subjects. Not to blow my own horn, but this looks stunning. You really are something special, hm?”
-Blackwall has done a lot of sketching himself and finds your art a breath of fresh air. Other than looking at bits and pieces of his reflection, he usually tries to avoid seeing himself. So when he sees your drawing of him, he almost doesn’t recognize himself. You both trade sketches of each other just for fun and even sketch together.
#dai#dragon age inquisition#inquisitor#cullen rutherford#dai cullen#dragon age josephine#josephine montilyet#lelianna#leliana#madame vivienne#vivienne#madame de fer#varric dai#varric#varric tethras#dai cole#cole#dai solas#fenharel#cassandra#dai cassandra#cassandra pentaghast#the iron bull#iron bull#dorian pavus#dai dorian#dai sera#sera#blackwall#thom rainier
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