#They work to the best of their ability I'm sure

[dsireland86]

Requesting Noah x reader where the reader experiences post partum depression after giving birth to their newborn baby girl.

Post partum depression is no joke and something so many women, including myself, have had to deal with. I wish it on no new mom. But, when you have a good partner who supports you entirely, it makes all the difference🥰

PostPartum

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I held her in my arms like she was the most valuable thing in the world. To me she was. She was my daughter. She was the best part of me and her mother put together, a treasure created out of pure love.

I looked over at my wife, watching as she delivered the remaining proof of her pregnancy, feeling nothing but pride and respect for her. What I had just witnessed in the last thirteen hours was nothing short of an absolute miracle.

I had no idea how difficult it was for a woman to give birth until now. The strength and resilience I saw in her made me see her and all women in a whole new light. It was an indescribable yet incredible feeling.

She looked up at me, smiling her beautiful yet exhausted smile. She looked completely different now; she was a mother. I grinned back, offering her our daughter and gently laid her on her chest when she said yes.

"Noah, she has your nose and your eyes," my wife gushed, kissing our little girl's rosy forehead.

"She really does, doesn't she?" I marveled, unable to hide my grin. I kissed my wife's forehead, praising her over and over for what she went through for us. I had what I'd always wanted. I had my family.

Days after we came home were a struggle. The nights were sleepless, the days exhausting. The constant feeding and changing diapers was a lot of work I wasn't prepared for. But neither was my wife.

She started crying more than usual. At first, it was simple little tears, but then there were days where those tears lingered all day and sometimes into the night, too. They would lead into spurts of her doubting her ability to be a mother and caring for our baby the way she needed to be cared for.

That's when she would say things like, "Our daughter does better when I'm not around. Maybe it's for the best", or "I just want to disappear. All of this is too much."

I knew she was exhausted, not mentally prepared for any of this, so I did my best to help take the burden off her shoulders, hoping it would help. Sometimes it did, but most of the time I think it only made things worse.

A few weeks went by, and things began to mellow out some; with our daughter at least. We got into a routine and a schedule of sleep, making the nights more bearable.

But my wife would still have her spouts of irritability, sometimes waking up and starting things for no reason. It was usually over little things like dishes or clothes, but then it started to become bigger. She accused me of not being home enough and not helping out enough which would always end with her falling apart and crying again. It broke me.

I didn't know what to do, except hold her and tell her everything was going to be okay, even though I wasn't so sure.

I would watch her during feedings and how she seemed distant from our baby, looking away, never making that mother to baby eye contact I read about in the "What to Expect When Your Wife is Expanding" book Jolly bought me for my first "father's day". She was physically there, but not mentally.

Days after our daughter turned a month old, I came home to find her sitting on the couch in the living room, staring into nothing. She had the most distant spaced out look on her face, her eyes completely void of anything.

"Baby, are you alright?" I gently shook her. She finally snapped out of whatever daze she was in, shaking her head.

"Noah," smiling weakly at me.

"Baby, I'm really worried about you. You're not looking or acting like yourself," I finally admitted to her.

"I feel okay," she said weakly.

"When was the last time you ate?" I brushed some loose hair out of her eyes, running my hand down her cheek.

She thought for a moment then shrugged.

"Come on, I sighed, taking her hand and pulling her towards the kitchen. That's when the baby monitor went off, signaling our little girl was awake.

"Why don't you go get her, and I'll make us something to eat." My wife shook her head.

"No, you get her. She wants her daddy."

Letting go of my hand she made her way into the kitchen, leaving me in a bit of shock. I thought this was the worst of it, but I didn't know how much worse it could get.

Sex was out of the question. Not just for the first six weeks of course, but even past that. She closed herself off to me, not wanting me to touch her or be around her. It got to the point that she was sleeping on the couch and whenever I came into the room she would leave. I didn't understand any of it.

I eventually had to stay home from the studio and recording with the guys, having everyone bring everything to my house because I was too scared to leave her and the baby alone. Something was off with my wife, and I couldn't figure it out. I was taking it personally, thinking that the end of us had come and what was meant to be the happiest time in our lives was now becoming the hardest and most hurtful. I was done. I couldn't go through with it anymore.

One night, after our little one fell asleep after her feeding, my wife laid her in her bassinet then turned to leave the room.

"Don't leave. Please. Just stay with me for a minute," I asked, trying not to sound too desperate.

She turned and looked at me with tears in her eyes.

All the color was gone from her beautiful face, her complexion dull. Her hair, normally shiny and in her wavy ponytail, was unkept, piled high on the top of her head in a messy bun. Her sleep clothes were the same ones she'd worn for almost a week.

This was nothing but a shell of my wife and it killed me seeing her this way.

"Come sit with me, baby, please," patting the bed next to me. At first she hesitated, but then, surprisingly, she came and partially sat on the bed.

I tucked her hair behind her ear, smiling at her when she looked at me so sadly. I leaned in to kiss her, slowly so as to not startle her, and felt relieved when she kissed me back. Her hands found the back of my neck, twisting the longer pieces of hair at the nape of it. Her touch sent shivers down my spine. I was longing for her in ways I didn't even realize.

"I miss you," I confessed, placing my forehead to hers and holding her head between my hands.

"I know," she sniffed and I wiped away the tears that slid down her cheeks with the pads of my thumbs.

"I miss you, too, Noah."

"Then talk to me," I whispered, "tell me what you're feeling. Even if you can't make sense out of it. Just tell me anyway. I'll listen."

And she did.

I ran a hot bubble bath and for the first time in months I held my wife's beautiful naked body against mine, listening as she told me everything she had been going through.

I washed her hair, scrubbed her back, and helped her shave her legs, and in return, she gave me the best sex I'd had in a while.

Watching her face as she came on my cock buried up inside her made me cum, the feeling taking us both to a higher place we hadn't been in a while. It was euphoric.

Once out of the bath and fully dressed, she checked on our little angel still fast asleep, and for the first time since we brought her home, I watched the brightest, sweetest smile grace my wife's face as she looked down on her. It made my heart swell with joy.

We discovered that night, after some slight research that what she was experiencing was called postpartum depression.

It's something most new mother's get, some more extreme than others. We weren't throwing all our eggs into the basket of self diagnosis, but she promised to call her doctor the next morning and schedule an appointment.

Seven months old. Time flies when you're having fun. I watched my wife as she attempted to feed our angel sweet potatoes for the first time. Surprisingly, she liked them. A quarter of the jar later and we had a happy, sleepy little baby.

I cleaned her up and handed her to mama as she willingly and lovingly took her and cradled her just the way she liked it. With some warm milk, a soft blanket, and mama's arms, our little girl was out like a light.

My wife looked up at me, smiling brightly. She was herself again and there was no better feeling than to see her return. With a mild medication and a little therapy, postpartum depression slowly made its way out of our lives, restoring to me the woman I loved.

She apologized, over and over, time and time again, but I always reminded her there was nothing to apologize for. None of it was ever her fault.

"Thank you for sticking it out with me, Noah. Thank you for not running away."

I took her hand and kissed it, rubbing her growing belly carrying baby Davis number two. Now that we knew what to mostly expect, this little gem would be easier to handle.

"For better or for worse, Princess. You've got me and them, forever."

[captainsophiestark]

Dance Like Nobody's Watching

Dick Grayson x Reader

Masterlist - Join My Taglist!

Written for Fictober 2024!

Fandom: DC

Day Twenty-Seven Prompt: "Let me remind you."

Summary: Dick's SO is having trouble adjusting to the new scrutiny of attending Wayne galas as his date, but thankfully, he has an idea to help with that.

Word Count: 1,449

Category: Fluff

Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.

I sipped my champagne, trying to get a handle on my nerves. I could handle fighting the Joker and Scarecrow with no problems, but attending a Wayne gala as the partner of Dick Grayson was throwing me for a loop.

I fought the urge to scowl about it. If one thing could make this night more awkward, it would be some person I barely knew finding me making faces in the corner.

What irritated me the most was that this was by no means my first Wayne gala. I'd grown up with Dick and spent countless hours in the manor with him and his family. We'd been each other's primary entertainment at these things as kids. But being here as his date, and as an adult expected to do more than turn the banquet tables into a fort, was turning out to be surprisingly stressful.

When we were kids, nobody seemed to care what we did much beyond just noticing and thinking we were cute. Now, it seemed like everybody in this room wanted something from Dick, and either saw me as a threat to their ability to get it or as a secret backdoor to him, if only they could get me on their side.

I was seriously on the edge of losing it and going back to the buffet tables kid-style.

Dick had done his best to stick with me, but people kept showing up to pull both of us away from each other for a conversation, and we hadn't been able to do much without being incredibly, obviously rude. I'd finally managed to extract myself enough for some breathing room, but I could see Dick still in the middle of things, a group of old men who almost certainly wanted money from Bruce talking his ear off.

Even from here, I could tell Dick was barely paying attention to them. His eyes scanned the crowd, and after a moment, they landed on me. He raised an eyebrow, and I gave him a reassuring smile. Unfortunately for me, he knew me too well and was too good of a detective to believe it.

Dick quickly made his excuses to the men around him, and didn't take no for an answer as he left the conversation and headed in my direction. He crossed the massive room quickly to stand before me, and this time when I smiled at him, it was much more genuine.

"Hey," he said, returning my smile and leaning in to kiss my temple as soon as he reached me. "How are you doing?"

"Good." I tried to strengthen my smile, but Dick saw right through it. He raised an eyebrow at me.

"...Are you sure?"

I sighed. "It's just... this all feels a little weird. I've known you forever, you know it's never been important to me that you're the famed son of billionare Bruce Wayne. But it seems like that's all anybody else here can think about, and they all either hate me because they want to be with you or want to be my new best friend, all so they can get to you and Bruce. It's fine, none of their opinions matter to me, but... I just didn't expect to feel so weird coming to one of these things again."

Dick took a step closer to me, reaching out to take my arm with a concerned look on his face. He spoke quietly enough that, even if someone had been intentionally eavesdropping (which had happened more than once tonight), they wouldn't be able to hear him.

"Do you want to go? I'm happy to leave if you want to. We don't have to stay here."

I shook my head before he'd even finished his sentence.

"Running and no-showing Bruce's galas isn't a long-term solution. And seriously, it's fine, I'll adjust. I just... I don't know. I miss the days where we hid under the punch bowl giggling out of sight of everybody, you know?"

My boyfriend grinned. "I mean, if you really think about it, there's nothing keeping us from doing that again."

"I can think of a few things," I laughed, swatting his shoulder lightly. He hummed, but sobered quickly as he scanned the room, clearly thinking.

"Well... if you're sure you don't want to commandeer the space under the desert table?"

"I'm sure."

"Then why don't we try dancing? That's a little more... socially acceptable than hiding under the tables, but it's one of the things we used to have the most fun doing at these things. Remember how we'd just take over the entire floor to do whatever we wanted when we were kids?"

I laughed. "Yeah, of course. Although it's a little harder to remember the feeling that inspired us to just run out there before."

Dick smiled softly and extended his hand to me.

"Let me remind you."

My heart did a little backflip, especially when I met Dick's sparkling blue eyes. I huffed a little laugh of disbelief, especially at the thought of stepping into the center of the spotlight when I knew just how many people were going to be watching. But then I looked at Dick again, and I decided that, as long as I was with him, they didn't matter.

I took his hand, and he didn't waste a second before pulling me after him to the dance floor. I laughed, unable to hold back a smile even as heads turned towards us. Dick ignored them completely. He pulled me to his chest when we reached the center of the floor and wrapped an arm securely around my waist, the other taking one of my hands. I rested my free hand on his shoulder, and as we started swaying together to the music, his eyes didn't leave mine for a second.

"You know..." he started after a moment, drawing my attention back from a glance over his shoulder to where people were watching us. "This is nice, but a slow dance wasn't exactly what I had in mind."

I gave Dick my full attention and raised an eyebrow.

"I'm almost afraid to ask, but... what did you have in mind?"

He grinned. "Something more like this."

Suddenly, Dick was spinning me out and away from him, twirling across the floor before pulling me back. We'd know each other long enough and spent enough time as vigilante teammates that his steps were easy to follow, even as he started something closer to swing that didn't match the music at all.

I laughed, a warm feeling spreading through my chest as I shared a smile with my partner. In the back of my mind, I knew more people were probably watching and judging than ever. But suddenly they didn't matter like they used to.

Dick swung me around again, then pulled me close and into an exaggerated dip. If I didn't know he was a superhero, I probably would've been a little worried about him dropping me. Instead, it just made me laugh, especially as Dick grinned and led me into something way too close to something you'd do to Cotton Eye Joe.

With every second that passed on the dance floor with Dick, everyone else in the room faded further and further away. It felt like when we were kids, just me and the most important person in the world to me having the time of our lives.

"Feel any better?" asked Dick, whispering in my ear as he pulled me close again, both hands wrapped tight around my waist. I smiled, running my hands up his arms and across his shoulders.

"So much better. Thank you."

"You don't need to thank me. We're partners, you know I'd never leave you hanging."

I pulled back enough to meet Dick's eyes, and found their familiar sparkle and a smile waiting for me. I gave him a soft smile back.

"I love you, Dick Grayson. So fucking much."

Dick beamed back at me. "I love you too. Now come on, the band's finally catching on to what we want. I want to dance with the love of my life to music that's actually fun for dancing."

I just laughed as Dick swung me out and away from him again, the two of us twirling across the floor, this time in sync with the now-faster music. Suddenly, after a few minutes with Dick, the propsect of all these Wayne galas didn't seem nearly so daunting anymore. Sure, I might have to deal with a few unpleasant strangers whose opinions didn't matter to me. But I'd also get to do this, laughing and dancing and having the time of our lives, with my favorite person in the world.

Worth it in the long run, as far as I was concerned.

****************

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[hippiegoth97]

Into the Fire: An Eddie Munson x Reader Story Pt. 36

Collage by me :)

Master List

Part 35

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Content Warning 18+ Only, Minors DNI: swearing, alcohol use, crying, fluff, smut, groping, heavy kissing, oral sex, fingering, premature ejaculation, squirting, praise/degradation

Word Count: 6.7k

divider by @strangergraphics

Part 36: I’ll Be There For You

Friday, October 6th, 1989

For the next few weeks after you’ve left the apartment, you do everything in your power to get your life back on track. You get up early every day, having breakfast with your Mom and helping clean up afterwards. Robin drives you to school, and you do the typical model student thing you've always done, taking notes and participating in class. At work, you focus on getting your tasks done, and supervising your subordinates to the best of your ability. Then you go home, get your homework done before dinner is all set and ready for you on the dining room table. You share the meal with your mother once again, the both of you talking about your day and carrying on like everything is normal. It's almost like you never left, like you never met Eddie at all.

That's not to say you haven't thought about him. Of course you have. But you reserve that for when you're in your bed, alone to marinate in your thoughts. Every night, you get closer to the solution to the problem he's created. Every night, you hate him a little less. Every night, you miss him more and more. Every night, you move nearer to where you know you want to be. Forgiveness. You've wanted to be there this entire time, even when you'd convinced yourself it would be impossible to look past this. One of the things that helps you reach this conclusion, is a phone call you have with Dustin about halfway through your period of rumination.

"Of course, she's right here." Mom says sweetly into the headset of the phone. She's been talking to Dustin for a good while, he's been filling her in on all the wonderful things about California and college. "Dusty wants to talk to you, Y/N." Mom hands the phone your way, and you gladly take it. You've missed him a lot since he's been gone. He may be your annoying little brother, but you still love him very much.

"Hey, Dustin. How's college treating you?" You ask once you put the phone to your ear.

"It's been great! This place is awesome! Everyone is so smart and nerdy like me! You'll have to come visit! And you have to try the breakfast burritos! They. Are. Amazing." Dustin says excitedly through the receiver, talking far too fast.

"I'm sure I will sometime, Dusty." You smile, though your tone still comes off a little sad. You're glad he seems to be fitting in well and adjusting to living away from home. But you miss having the little goober around to get on your nerves.

"What about you? Everything going okay? You know...with school, and work..." Dustin does his best to avoid the tender subject, but you know immediately that he's alluding to Eddie. You suppose they've probably talked at some point recently, they are pretty close. You aren't sure you want to have this conversation with him. But maybe another perspective will help you figure out what choice to make.

"I'm fine, Dusty. I mean, I'm not fine. But I'm doing my best." You pause, wondering if you dare ask what Eddie said to him. "I take it you and Eddie talked? About...us?" You ask, wanting to bash your own head in with the phone for opening this can of worms.

"Well, yeah. He's, like, my best friend. But he told me everything about the party, and Chrissy, and all the other idiotic shit." Dustin explains, making you laugh at his earnest use of the word 'idiotic'. "I'm really sorry, Y/N. I had no idea they had history. He seemed really ashamed of it. God, I swear he was crying a little over the phone." He says sullenly, his heart aching for the both of you. He can't imagine what you must be going through. The broken trust you must feel, and the guilt wracking Eddie to the core. It sounds like a complete mess. Much like all your friends, though, he's still rooting for the both of you. He may not know a whole lot about love, his only real relationship crashed and burned. But he can guarantee a picture of you and Eddie would be smack dab under the word, if one looked it up in Merriam-Webster.

"I'm sure he was. I know he feels bad, he's told me so himself. And I don't want it to be a big deal. But, somehow it is. Eddie's never lied to me about anything, except this. He did everything he could to ensure I wouldn't find out about him and Chrissy. I just...I wonder what else he's lied to me about." You bite down on your trembling lip at the thought, unable to stomach the concept of every single thing Eddie's ever said being untrue. That the truth is...he doesn't love you, or like you. That he only ever said that to get further into your pants. Deep down, you know none of these suppositions make sense. But if you're honest with yourself, his little affair with Chrissy doesn't either. Not to you, anyway. He could've easily found someone else to screw, but he chose her. Why?

"Y/N, I know it's especially hard to believe right now. But I swear to you, on our mother, that Eddie is no liar. At least, he's not one to make a habit of it. I really think that all this is, is a huge mistake he regrets. I'm sure if he could take it all back, he would. But he can't, so the next best thing was hiding it." Dustin explains emphatically, really going to bat for his friend.

"I know...You're right. Everyone is. I'm just overreacting一" You say, slightly annoyed. Everybody sounds like a goddamn broken record lately.

"I didn't say that, Y/N. And if I know the others as well as I think I do, no one else did, either." He cuts you off. "Look, all I'm trying to say is that you both love and care for each other. Like, more than I ever thought two people possibly could. And while it's up to you what you want to do, I think it would be pretty stupid to throw in the towel over this."

You roll your eyes at his words, but he's not wrong. Until the party, you had such a wonderful thing going with Eddie. You made a home together, and it was perfect. You were happy. Truly happy for the first time in your life. And your entire being aches to get that feeling back. "I know." You finally reply, barely above a whisper. "T-tell me more about California." You stutter, sniffing hard and wiping a tear from your eye as you change the subject.

Dustin thankfully lets you be about your broken relationship, fully aware that his words have been taken into strong consideration. He fills you in on everything, mostly about all the science-y stuff and delicious food he's been devouring lately. He's always been quite the sponge, absorbing the world around him to his heart's content. Hearing him speak so cheerfully about his new life lifts your spirits, allowing you to put your own troubles aside. You're so proud of him, achieving such great things already. You hope he'll come home for the holidays, it definitely wouldn't be the same without him.

After Dustin has talked your ear off for a good hour or so, you give the phone back to Mom and go to your room. The rest of your night is calm, and cool-headed. You really take Dustin's words to heart, allowing the things everyone's been saying to truly soak in. Eddie didn't want to deceive you, and nothing else about his words or actions has been dishonest. He made a bad choice, as any human being does from time to time. You yourself have made some choices you aren't proud of, namely dating Tommy and putting up with the abuse he inflicted on you. But you know better now, and so does Eddie. He loves you more than anything in the world, and you love him just as much.

Despite your talk with Dustin bringing you around a bit, you still keep your distance from Eddie for a little longer. You aren't sure why, really. Perhaps it’s an exercise in self-control. Getting yourself comfortable with the idea of being alone, if something else causes your partnership with Eddie to end for good. You know, just in case. You continued your routine, slowly warming up to him again. A small smile at work here, a brief 'good night' at the end of a shift there. Little things to let him know that soon, you'll be ready to try this again. You've felt a bit bad, seeing him sulking behind concessions, or sweeping the theater sluggishly. But he hasn't called, or tried to talk to you about anything besides work. He's lets you have your space, waiting patiently for you to come back to him.

Friday, October 13th, 1989

October is well underway by the time you think you're ready to take Eddie back. The air is cooler, and the leaves have turned to rich hues of yellow, orange, and red. It's currently Friday the 13th, and Robin insisted on coming over for the night and watching the horror film named after this mysterious day, which she vehemently claims is 'tradition'. You find it a bit silly, you're far from superstitious. But you're glad to have the company. You've grown much closer to Robin these last few weeks, to a point where you'd safely call her your best friend. Vickie is definitely a lucky girl, even though you still haven't met her yet. Robin swears she'll be attending Steve's Halloween party, and she's eager to meet everyone.

"Ready to watch some horny teens get slaughtered?" Robin asks, holding a VHS tape in her hand as she stands in your doorway.

"You know it!" You reply giddily, stepping aside to let her come in. You close the door behind her, and go to the kitchen. "I've already got the popcorn ready, and I've been chilling some wine I bought after class. So, just pop that tape in and we'll一" You're cut off by the doorbell ringing, which you find odd. You didn't invite anyone else over tonight, at least, not successfully. Steve's manning Family Video on his own tonight, and Nancy doesn't like scary movies. Wondering who it is, you go right back over to the door and pull it open. And you find the absolute last person you'd expect to darken your doorstep. Chrissy. Maybe this day is unlucky after all. "Oh, no. Absolutely not." You chuckle angrily, shaking your head and attempting to slam the door in her face. You don't want to hear a damn thing this whore has to say. But she blocks the door with her body, desperate to speak with you.

"Y/N, please. I just want to talk." Chrissy insists, her sad eyes begging with yours to let her in.

"About what? Have you been talking to Eddie?" You ask accusingly, ready to try and force her out again.

"No! I-I tried to. Just to apologize. But, he hung up on me." She explains, straining against your grip on the door. "Please, just give me five minutes."

"Fine. Five minutes. And they better be good ones." You sigh in annoyance, ceasing your pushing. She steps inside, meekly holding her purse close to her body.

"Uh, what the fuck is she doing here?" Robin asks angrily after she's put the tape in the VCR. She crosses her arms, standing her ground. She looks about ready to beat Chrissy up on your behalf.

"Relax, Rob. We're just gonna talk in my room for a minute." You explain, leading Chrissy down the hall to your bedroom.

"Alright. Let me know if I have to kick some skank ass!" Robin calls after you, peeking her head down the hallway. She narrows her eyes at Chrissy, making her gasp in fear.

"Alright. Out with it." You say flatly after you close the bedroom door. You lean against it, standing above her as she sits on your bed.

"Look, Y/N. I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I shouldn't have kissed Eddie at your party. That was wrong of me. I just...still had feelings for him after what we used to have." She explains sadly, looking down at her hands. She kisses your boyfriend, in front of everyone, and she can't even look you in the eye.

"I'm not really interested in hearing what you two 'used to have', Chrissy." You snip, and she finally looks at you.

"No. I know. And I'll never forgive myself for any of this. The affair, the kiss, the drugs. But I want you to know that Eddie in no way reciprocated it. He froze up, he didn't feel the way he used to. It was clear to me at that moment that he doesn't have feelings for me anymore. He only cares for you." She speaks sincerely, not breaking away from your gaze this time. She knows how wrong all of this is, that she shouldn't have betrayed her friends like this. All you've done is try to help her, and she acted selfishly in return.

"Is that all?" You ask, still none too happy to have her in your house.

"Yeah. I guess it is." Chrissy nods, standing up. "I don't expect you to forgive me, Y/N. I certainly wouldn't. But...don't let Eddie go. He loves you so much, I see the way you two are when you're together. Don't lose out on something that comes once in a lifetime, if you're lucky." She gently pats your shoulder, and you surprisingly don't shrug her off. You just lead her out of the room, and give her a small 'thank you' at the front door. You sit down on the couch once she's gone, and Robin comes to your side.

"I heard everything, Y/N. What do you think about it?" She asks softly, taking hold of your hand to ground you. You feel like you've left your own body for a moment. It's strange, you'd already drawn the conclusion that Eddie had no interest in Chrissy anymore. But to hear it straight from the horse's mouth, to know that not one ounce of him accepted her affection, even out of reflex? It means far more than any reassuring words you've gotten from anybody else. It's finally clicked for you now. You're ready.

"I think...I've got to get my boyfriend back." You say slowly, laughing in disbelief once the words leave your lips. You look at Robin, who's smiling brightly at you.

"That's great, Y/N. I'm so happy for you." She pulls you into a hug, squeezing you tight.

"I should call him!" You exclaim excitedly, about to lunge for the phone.

"Oh, no. I don't think so. You can call the dingus tomorrow. Tonight is our night. No boys, no drama. Just Pamela Voorhees, wine, and popcorn." Robin insists that you slow down and let the man wait another night. He'll survive, just like he has for three whole weeks.

"Ugh, you're right. We've got our plans, and I intend to honor them. Just let me get the glasses." You reply, feeling rather chipper now. You practically bounce off the sofa to get your snacks.

"That's my girl!" Robin cheers, getting the tape ready to start playing. You come back to the couch shortly after, switching off the lights along the way. You both settle in, draping a warm blanket over your laps and setting the bowl between you. Robin clicks the remote, and the movie begins to play.

You allow yourselves to become fully immersed in the film, jumping at every startling moment. You drink your wine, and munch down popcorn like nobody's business. It's rather nice to turn your brain off and relax for a while. It's not something you allow yourself to do all that much. Even during your sleepover, your mind still drifted to Eddie on numerous occasions. But now, you don't have to worry about that. You'll call him tomorrow, and go back home to the apartment. One last night of solitary fun won't kill you.

About halfway through the movie, though, you really have to pee. "Can you pause it? I gotta run to the bathroom." You ask.

"Sure thing." Robin nods, clicking the remote to freeze the film.

You paw your way down the pitch-dark hallway, finding the bathroom after a small struggle. You might just be a teensy bit tipsy. You flick on the light, not even bothering to close the door. It's just you and Rob in the house, and she's not gonna come down here. You take your time relieving yourself, thinking about how wonderful tomorrow is going to be. You'll be with your man again, no doubt fucking like bunnies to make up for lost time. You smile to yourself at the thought, but you're interrupted by the sound of Robin talking to somebody on the phone. You wonder who it is, hopefully she's not blabbing to Steve about your decision. News will travel fast, that's for sure.

"Who were you talking to?" You ask once you return to the room.

"Oh, just my Mom. Letting her know I'll be home tomorrow. I'm way too buzzed to drive home tonight." She says, laughing nervously. Robin is notoriously awful at lying.

"Uh-huh. Sure." You say, unconvinced. But you'll let it be, for now. You keep watching the movie, observing Jason's mother slashing away at promiscuous young adults, earning revenge for letting her little boy drown. It's kind of a sad movie, when you really think about it. That poor woman, she just wanted her son to have a semi-normal childhood. And those assholes who were supposed to watch him were too busy screwing to pay attention. You know you're not supposed to side with the killer in these things, but Pamela Voorhees can surely be the exception. Right?

You let out a long yawn once the credits roll, looking over at the clock. Almost ten. It's not that late, but after school, work, and dealing with Chrissy, you can't help feeling exhausted. A satisfied kind of exhausted, like you've accomplished a lot in one day. But exhausted nonetheless. You're about to get up, taking the empty glasses with you, when you hear the sound of an electric guitar outside. What the fuck?

"Rob, what did you do?" You ask, turning to her with a suspicious look.

"Why don't you let me clean up, and you can go see for yourself?" She replies with a grin. She had in fact called Steve while you were in the bathroom, letting him know what you'd decided. He then passed the news on to Eddie, who has been planning the ultimate way to woo you back into his arms. He spent hours learning one of your favorite songs, even though he doesn't like it much himself. All so he can sweep you off your feet like a true gentleman does.

"Jesus, you guys are incorrigible." You laugh, shaking your head as you stand up. You're dressed in your pj's, not exactly the sexiest thing for Eddie to see you in. But screw it, it sounds like he's got a spectacle of romance waiting for you outside. You go to the door, turning the knob to pull it open. You step out into the night, finding Eddie on your lawn with his guitar slung over his shoulder, plugged into his amp. He's even got a damn microphone set up, and he's lit up by headlights. Where all his equipment is plugged in, you have no idea. The Hellfire kids, Max, Nancy, and Steve are all here, having been brought over in the van or in Steve's or Nancy's car.

You approach the small crowd they've formed in front of Eddie's set-up, and they usher you to the front of it. Your eyes truly meet his for the first time in weeks, and you feel the sparks flying inside you instantly. He looks sexy as hell, his hair tied back, smiling cheerily as he's so happy to see you. He's wearing a red flannel, one of his typical t-shirts underneath, and his usual tight black jeans with the holes in the knees. He grips his guitar like an extension of himself, strumming the notes you recognize immediately. No fuckin' way, he learned a Bon Jovi song for me?

"Hey, sweetheart. This one's for you." Eddie says, giving you a cheeky wink before he starts to sing. "I guess this time you're really leavin'. I heard your suitcase say 'goodbye'. Well, as my broken heart lies bleedin'. You say true love is suicide..." He sings breathily into the mic, the words immediately melting your heart. You know how much he dislikes this song, how cheesy and awful he says it is. But he knows you love it, so he's singing it just for you. His eyes are glued to yours as he sings, his fingers hitting the notes effortlessly. You haven't seen Eddie play a whole lot since you've been together, at least, not like this. "You say you've cried a thousand rivers, and now you're swimmin' to the shore. You left me drownin' in my tears, and you won't save me anymore."

His heart pours out of his mouth with every lyric, truly feeling the music and the strong emotions coursing through him. You watch on, hypnotized by his dark, velvety voice. Again, you've heard him sing plenty, you'd swear he was an exotic bird in another life. But it's nothing compared to this. It's like he's ripping his chest wide open, letting you see all the vulnerable bits beating away inside. The song picks up for the chorus, and he plays it like he wrote the damn song himself. "I'll be there for you, these five words I swear to you. When you breathe, I wanna be the air for you. I'll be there for you. I'd live and I'd die for you. I'd steal the sun from the sky for you. Words can't say what love can do, I'll be there for you."

It slows down once again, and you can't help swaying along as he performs the second verse for you. "I know you know we've had some good times, now they have their own hiding place. Well, I can promise you tomorrow, but I can't buy back yesterday." Eddie's breath catches on the last few words, and you see a couple tears escape his eyes. It's funny, the words of the song have never rung so true for you until this moment. It perfectly encapsulates how you've been both feeling, how you ended up here. And with every line he recites, it's a promise made to you for all time. A promise to take care of you, and never lead you down the wrong road again. You're suddenly overcome with the urge to tell him how much you also want to make this promise. Your feet move before you even realize what you're doing, bringing yourself right beside Eddie to sing the chorus with him this time. His smile grows, and everyone cheers. "Help me out, sweetheart." He chuckles, and you lean into the mic with him.

"I'll be there for you, these five words I swear to you. When you breathe, I wanna be the air for you. I'll be there for you. I'd live and I'd die for you. I'd steal the sun from the sky for you. Words can't say what love can do, I'll be there for you." The two of you sound amazing together, tears streaming down your faces as you gaze in one another's eyes. You silently agree to skip the last verse, as you're about to become an absolute mess in a minute. So you finish it out with the 'whoa-oh's that usually come at the end, with everyone else joining in to sing with you. Eddie punches out those final notes, and you pull him into you once he's done.

Your lips crash against his, and the crowd goes wild. Whooping and clapping and whistling as you hold each other close. Eddie's hands strongly grip your waist, and your arms are so tight around his neck you're almost choking him. But neither of you care one bit. You're too engrossed in having the kiss you've been waiting for, your hearts overflowing with love and affection. You melt against him, allowing his needy tongue to slither into your mouth. Your faces are hot and flushed, absolutely dripping with tears. But you don't dare pull away yet, not until you absolutely have to come up for breath.

"I believe I have something of yours." Eddie pants once you stop kissing, reaching into his pocket for your necklace. He holds it in his palm, presenting it to you for the second time.

"You wanna put it on me, love?" You ask giddily, biting your lip.

"Sure thing, babydoll." He smirks, giving you another short kiss before turning you around. He brings the pick around your neck, fastening the gold chain in the back. You turn back around to show him, and his eyes sparkle with glee. "That's my girl." He chuckles, quickly slipping his guitar over his head and setting it down. Eddie quickly scoops you up into his arms, making you shriek in surprise.

"Eddie! What are you doing!" You cackle, wrapping your arms around him to hold on.

"Takin' you home, baby. Back where you belong." He says simply, carrying you towards the van.

"But what about our stuff?" You ask, wondering why he's in such a rush.

"I'll get it loaded up real quick. But you are gonna stay right here. Because when we get home, I am gonna spoil you all night long." Eddie says lowly in your ear, sending that familiar chill of pleasure up your spine. You've definitely missed that, the deep purr of his voice saying filthy things that make your pussy throb. He sets you down, opening your door and ushering you into your seat. "I won't be long, princess. Stay put." He pats the side of the door a couple times, running back to retrieve all your belongings. Obviously everyone helps him out, you watch them through the side mirror, and turn around in your seat as they get everything loaded into the back.

It doesn't take long, and everybody says their goodbyes and waves as Eddie pulls the van out of the driveway. You'll call mom at work once you get to the apartment, letting her know the good news. You'd hate for her to come home to an empty house again with no warning. The drive is quick, and anxious, the two of you itching to get inside and rip your clothes off. Eddie parks the van rather crooked in the apartment lot, and practically yanks you out of your seat to run inside and up the stairs. As soon as his key turns in the lock, and the door swings open, you're on each other in seconds. You slam the door shut, and press Eddie up against it.

"I missed you." You say desperately, still breathing hard from rushing to get inside. Your mouth immediately finds his again, unable to get enough of his taste that you've been craving. Tobacco, sweets, maybe a touch of beer. Eddie drops his keys on the floor, which alerts Arwen to your presence. She comes dashing down the hallway, meowing louder than you ever thought a cat could. She scampers up your back, wrapping herself around your shoulders. She nuzzles her head into your neck, her thick fur tickling your flesh. You pull away from Eddie, giggling at Arwen's affection.

"I missed you too, Y/N. Maybe not as much as the cat, though." He chuckles, reaching forward to give her some scritches. She purrs excitedly, happy to have both her parents home again. You can only imagine how she's been without you here, crying for you all day and night. That must've been rough for Eddie to deal with.

"How was she while I was away?" You ask, carefully plucking her off your shoulders to cradle her in your arms instead.

"Ugh, it was awful. She didn't want to eat unless I hand fed her, and she wouldn't stop meowing. She even shit on the floor a few times out of stress." Eddie explains, crinkling his nose.

"Jesus. I'm sorry you had to handle that by yourself." You tut, giving him a meaningful look.

"It's fine, Y/N. I consider it fair punishment." He replies, his face falling a little. In all honesty, he feels he deserved far worse. "And I know I haven't said it yet, for some idiotic reason. But, I'm sorry for lying to you, sweetheart. I should've been honest with you, and I promise that's the only thing I've ever lied about in our relationship. And I will never, ever do that again." He says sincerely. He knows you've already forgiven him, but it's important for him to give you a real apology. It's the least he can do, it's what he should've done so much sooner.

"I know, Eds. It's all okay now. It's funny, Chrissy actually came around the house today." You start, Eddie's eyes widening.

"Really?" He asks in shock, wondering what you two may have discussed. That is, if you gave her the time of day as opposed to kicking her ass.

"Yeah, she apologized for the whole thing. She made it clear that you wanted no part in that kiss. And she told me that as soon as she did it, she knew you only have feelings for me now. It's exactly what I needed to hear, to help me see past this whole thing." You say sweetly, setting the cat down and putting your hands on his chest.

"Well, I'm glad she did that for you. I'm guessing you're still pretty pissed at her, though. I know I am." His hands find your hips, pulling you in closer until your body is flush with his.

"Oh, big time. That bitch is never setting foot in here again." You say half-jokingly, drawing a breezy laugh from the both of you. "Now, you said something about spoiling me?" You ask, lifting your knee to brush against Eddie's crotch. He groans at the contact, unable to hold back. It's been so long since you've touched him like this. He hasn't even had the sense to 'take care of himself' since you've left. He's thought about it, taking those photos you took for him from the nightstand and yanking one out. But he felt like it would be wrong to do that, and he was sure he'd just end up crying while looking at them anyway. And that is a total boner killer.

"I certainly did, angel." He smiles, lifting you up to put your legs around his waist. You can feel the beginnings of his erection rubbing against you, ramping up your excitement for what he's got in store for you. He carries you to the bedroom, tossing you onto the bed and climbing on top of you shortly after. He kneels above you, cupping your cheek as he gazes at you lovingly. "Promise you'll never leave again?" He asks softly.

"You promise to stop being a dumbass?" You tease.

"Cross my heart and hope to die, sweetheart." Eddie chuckles, making an ‘X’ over his chest while slowly lowering his lips toward yours.

"Then so do I." You reply just before his plush mouth reaches your own. You let him take the lead, curious to see how exactly he intends to spoil you tonight. He nudges your lips open, slipping his tongue inside to tangle with yours. "Mmm." You moan quietly, your body heating up from the heart-stopping kiss. His hand creeps up your side, finding and squeezing your breast. "Eddie." You whimper as his thumb brushes over your clothed nipple, your hips bucking up slightly.

"Already so needy for me, princess?" Eddie asks darkly, pinching the sensitive nub through the thin fabric.

"Yes, baby. I've missed you so much. If I'm being honest, there were times where I couldn't stop thinking about this. Even when I was so angry with you." You answer breathlessly, your back arching as his lips find your throat.

"Did you ever do anything about it?" He questions, dying to know if you touched yourself while you were away. The mental image of you rubbing your clit and fingering your pussy while moaning his name makes his cock twitch.

"No. It would've just made me sad. Did you ever...?" You trail off, knowing he understands what you mean without fully asking.

"Not once. Nothing compares to you, love." He says, biting down hard on your throat to make you squeal. He's missed your noises so very much, the way you hold absolutely nothing back from him. "These pajamas are pretty cute, by the way. Are they new?" He asks, slipping his hand underneath your shirt now. He has to feel your supple flesh in his big, strong hands.

"They're Robin's. I'd forgotten to pack my own when I left, so she let me borrow them." You say, gasping when his hand closes around your tit again. Everything he's doing feels so good, and it's making you unbelievably wet. Your hands slip into his hair as he continues to nip and suck on your neck. You're sure to have a fresh batch of hickies in the morning, once again branding you as Eddie's girl.

"That was nice of her. Sounds like she's been a really good friend to you lately." He says casually.

"Yeah, she really has. I don't know how I would've kept myself together without her." You reply, though you'd prefer to focus on the task at hand. "Now, are we gonna do this, or are we gonna talk about other women all night?" You lower a hand between your bodies, palming Eddie's cock through his jeans.

"Okay." He moans. "Message received, sweetheart. Sex now, talk later." He laughs, sitting up to take his flannel off. He slips it off his arms, tossing it to the floor. He lifts his t-shirt over his head, exposing his beautiful chest. Your hands are immediately on him, running your palms up and down his skin, stopping to admire his ink like it's the very first time.

"I've missed this gorgeous body of yours, Eds." You admit, raising yourself to his level. You press your lips to his chest, leaving open-mouthed kisses in a haphazard trail. He hums at the contact, peering down at you as your pretty lips worship him.

"I've missed yours too, babydoll." He tugs at the hem of your shirt, wanting to see your perfect tits. You allow him to take it off, throwing it across the room. It lands on Arwen who's curled up in her bed, earning a disapproving 'mew' from her. Your breasts bounce slightly once the garment is gone, drawing Eddie's eyes right to them. He takes them in his hands, roughly massaging them. "And I've definitely missed these." He lowers his head to admire your own chest now, carefully nipping and sucking in all the places he remembers will drive you wild.

"Fuck, Eds..." You whine, savoring every drag of his teeth and swirl of his tongue. His lips close around your left nipple, drawing more needy sounds from your lips. "Please, baby. I need you." You scoot yourself forward, straddling his lap in your desperation. You grind yourself down onto him, moaning at the friction of his stiff cock rubbing against your clit.

"Slow down, princess. I'm gonna take care of you." Eddie says sweetly, leaving your chest alone and guiding you to lay down again. "I gotta say I love how needy you are, though. Still such a filthy little slut for me, aren't you?" He asks, hands grabbing at the waistband of your pants now.

"Just for you, my love." You nod, waiting for him to remove the rest of your clothes and see for himself exactly how filthy you are. He slowly pulls the pajamas and your panties down, the clothing joining the rest in seconds. You spread your legs, allowing him to get a good look.

"Fuck, you're soaked, sweetheart." He groans at the sight, so relieved to see your glistening folds again. He licks his lips, like a starving animal. Before either of you can think to do anything else, Eddie dives between your legs and immediately starts licking hungry strokes from your entrance to your bundle of nerves.

"Oh my god!" You cry out, taken completely by surprise. Your hips jolt when his warm mouth meets your cunt, but he quickly laces his arms around your thighs to hold you still. He greedily swirls his tongue around your bud, and dips inside your dripping hole in manic patterns. "Mm, I'm guessing you missed my pussy, too?" You ask seductively, allowing yourself to relax and enjoy his relentless chow-down.

"Yes. So much. You taste so fuckin' sweet. Best pussy in the world." Eddie answers frantically between strokes and flicks of his tongue. You're already building up towards an orgasm, unable to believe how quickly it's coming to be. But everything about this is driving you insane with pleasure. His crazed movements, the depraved moans and slurps he makes as he drinks you all up, his fingers digging into your thighs, his crotch rutting against the bed as he struggles for some friction of his own. He's completely unhinged, untamed. And it won't take long at all to make you cum.

"Keep going, Eds. You feel so good...such a perfect boy for me..." You whimper, grinding your hips against his face. Your hands are tangled in his hair, tugging repeatedly as you move with him. You're both an absolute mess, grabbing at one another any way you possibly can as he eats you out like you're his last meal. Eddie ups the stakes, adding two thick, ringed fingers inside your pussy, pumping them in and out at a rapid pace. "Fuck! Oh, Eddie...you're gonna make me cum already. Don't stop, please." You feel like your mind is melting, unable to comprehend how amazing everything feels.

"Cum for me, sweetheart. Soak my face like a good little slut." Eddie commands, his tone pitched and broken. He's been steadily humping the bed this whole time, driven so far out of control by the taste, smell, and sound of you. Once you let it all go, so will he. A big sticky mess in his boxers, all because of you. He curls his fingers harder and faster inside you, and sucks harshly on your clit to send you flying over the edge.

"Eddie! Fuck!" You cry out as an unbelievable high violently rips through you. Your thighs clamp down around his head, nails digging into his scalp. Your muscles spasm, and you completely soak Eddie's face and the sheets with your cum. He groans into your pussy once you've given him what he wants, his load spilling inside his pants, hips bucking a few final times against the mattress to ride out his orgasm. But he doesn't stop there, he crawls back up to you to press his cum-soaked lips to yours. You're still trying to catch your breath, but you meet him in the middle anyway. "Baby, I want more, I want you. All of you, over and over again, please?" You beg clumsily between those same starving kisses from before. It's like you can't help yourselves, clamoring for every bit of pleasure that you can get, completely drunk with lust.

"You'll get everything you want, angel. I promise. I won't stop until you beg me to." Eddie pants, leaving a sticky trail of arousal on your skin as he kisses every last inch of you he can reach. It's gonna be a long night. That first orgasm was far too quick, not nearly enough to satisfy you. It's a good thing you don't have a damn thing to worry about tomorrow. No work, or school, or heartbreak. All you have to focus on now, is each other.

To be continued...

[elderberries-and-honey]

One afternoon when Lawrence and Winifred fancied themselves a stroll through town, Winifred was hit by something she had referred to in childhood as 'colour storms'.

Colour storms were painful headaches, where colorful flashes of light would linger on the outside of her vision. She'd gotten them since she was a girl, usually brought on by stress. However, since meeting Lawrence, they were few and far between; he was just that calming to her.

But on that particular day, the migraine came on so suddenly, she couldn't help clutching her head, and gasping out from the pain.

"Winifred? What is it, my love?" Lawrence asked, immediately concerned for her.

"My head. It's like a stampede is running right through my skull!" She gasped, closing her eyes to block out some light. "I...I need to lie down, Lawrence, I'm sorry."

Carefully, he helped her guide her back to their room, taking slow, even steps along the way as to not cause her anymore pain.

"Just a little bit further, we're almost there." He said, sure to keep his voice soft. "It's been so long since you've had one of your storms, I'd nearly forgotten about them."

Winifred's colour storms became a regular occurrence. Days would pass, and she could hardly muster the strength to leave her bed. The curtains would need to be drawn shut, and the children were told not to disturb their mother or make too much noise - which they obeyed to the best of their ability.

For the first few days, Lawrence remained nearby in case he was able to help, but eventually, there was too much work to be done and he needed to allow Beth to care for his wife in his place.

Beth was tender, and soothing. When the storms were near the end, she'd always bring Winifred a hot cup of tea and sit with her for awhile, chatting about what the children had been up to and telling her about the local community gossip.

She was a good bedside nurse, and never wavered even when Winifred's migraines became coupled with nausea. Instead, she'd stay right at her side and help clean her up once the sick had passed her stomach.

After weeks of the illness, Beth presented her with an idea. "Mrs. Baudelaire, forgive me for my directness but...do you think it's possible you may be with child again?" She asked, wiping Winifred's mouth with a handkerchief to get rid of the sick left on the corner of her mouth.

Winifred was startled by the question. Twice now she had been pregnant, and neither pregnancy had been so...complicated. But as she counted the days between her monthlies, she realised that Beth had been right.

[annoyingann]

my ass is still a little on fire >:(

[sincerely-sofie]

*skitters up to you on all fours with a bunch of drawings in my mouth* *drops them at your feet* *skitters away*

enjoy some schizophrenia / psychosis / mental health-based humor.

[fiepige]

Heya thank you so much for your ask!

I'm guessing you're referring to the deleted scene where Gwen and Miguel talk about how Hobie quit/took time off:

Since it's a deleted scene it should be taken with a grain of salt but since nothing they say here actually contradicts anything that happens in the movie (and I find it fitting for Hobie's character to abandon the spider-society while still looking out for Gwen) then I personally headcanon that something similar at least happened prior to his introduction in the movie.

When you say he was inactive I guess you mean in the spider-society (English isn't my first language so please let me know if I misunderstand/misinterpret anything you said! I'm not trying to put words in your mouth I'm just trying to show how I understand what you're writing but please correct me if I'm wrong <3).But yeah, it would make sense that he was still somewhat part of the spider-society since he's still wearing their watch when he makes his entrance:

(Also did you know that Hobie is the ONLY spider-person that wears his watch upside down??? I didn't before I was getting screenshots for this post lol, here is a screenshot that better shows it compared to Gwen:)

(ALso he's NOT wearing any watch in his introduction scene:)

(Just a fun fact I wanted to share)

About the portals:You make a good point here! We never see the portal Hobie appears from when he enters:

"If anything, he's running in from some place else. And we never see if the portal he comes from is HQ issued, or one of his."This is really interesting, cause at one point I thought he'd just use the HQ portal, but if that's the case then why:

1. don't we see him enter?

2. Is he running like he came from somewhere else? Like you said the watches are pretty precise and put people close to where they need to be.

This made me think that maybe he used one of his own watches (since I think he'd already made some at this point). BUT if that's the case then again:

We should still see him enter right?

If he appeared nearby we should see the effect his watches have on their nearby surroundings like we see when Gwen uses hers:

Maybe he just didn't want the HQ to figure out that he'd made his own watches yet, or maybe LYLA would be able to track him if he used the HQ watch so he used his own one instead and either:

Used it to end up far away from the others as he knew they'd all be able to see the effect his watches have on their surroundings and since Miguel apparently has everyone under constant surveillance he'd be able to figure out that Hobie was planning something behind the scenes. When he got there he then put on his HQ watch (which he hadn't been wearing since LYLA haven't been able to track him, according to the deleted scene at least) to cover up the fact that he made his own.

He used his own watch but it's not as precise and that would also explain why he had to run to get to the others. (Though it seems pretty precise when Gwen is using hers later)

Maybe he was already in Pav's dimension. This might explain why Pav asks if Miles knows about Hobie? But then again why does Pav greet him like he didn't know he was there (and also why didn't Hobie join Pav and the others sooner if that was the case)? In a way it would make sense for Hobie to hide in Pav's dimension if he's hiding from the spider-society and LYLA as hinted at in the deleted scene (which might not be canon though!), so maybe he hid there without Pav even knowing? And then he maybe saw/sensed what was going on with the gang fighting The Spot?

Cause yeah how did Hobie know they needed his help at Alchemax?

As you said, Gwen seems happy/surprised to see Hobie.The deleted scene tells us that Hobie gave her a way to contact him, so maybe she did and she's just happy to see him and maybe suprised he arrived so soon after she reached out? (Though idk when she would have done that, but since we don't know what means Hobie gave her to contact him we also don't know what to look for, for all we know it could've been a small device that just sends some kind of signal to him?)I don't think HQ contacted him either. BUT, we actually see Jess and Gwen talk briefly for like 2 seconds when they're trying to break the barrier at Alchemax:

So I guess another explanation could be that Jess could tell that Gwen was lying here and thus asked Hobie to go help her out as she knew he was looking out for Gwen?

But if Hobie was hiding from HQ then how did they contact him? But that's also only if you consider the deleted scene as canon. (though I don't think Jess contacting Hobie is the case but I'm just writing every theory I can come up with in case anyone wants to maybe look deeper into it).

For the moment I personally headcanon that Hobie either got a message from Gwen somehow or, like I theorised earlier, he was already nearby and his spider-sense alerted him to what was going on.

But I'd LOVE to hear what you or anyone else thinks <3

Once again thank you so much for your ask, I hope I answered it properly. Please let me know if there's something I missed or got wrong! And feel free to message me about Hobie (or atsv in general) I love asks like these as they make for a lot of fun speculation!

Also thank you so much if you read all of my ramblings!

@the-cat-and-the-birdie

[hopeswriting]

part 1 part 3

The look in Tsuna’s eyes has changed, and it makes Nana want to cry.

It’s not a bad change. It’s not one that makes him unhappy or that makes it hard to look in his eyes. If anything Tsuna’s gained confidence, standing straighter, speaking louder and looking people in the eye longer. It seems he’s trying to keep it subtle and unnoticeable, but even if he wasn’t, she wouldn’t be surprised if Iemitsu and her were still the only ones to see the change in him plain as day.

Not when it’s only ever been him and her in the mansion against the rest of them ever since he was born.

It’s only ever been him, her and Iemitsu too against the rest of them when he finds the time to stand by their sides, when having been Vongola first and for much longer before becoming her husband and Tsuna’s father allow him to. Nana noticed the change in Tsuna first, and she doesn’t know if it’s right of her to wish it’d unsettle Iemitsu the same way it unsettles her.

The look in Tsuna’s eyes has changed, and it makes Nana ashamed and guilty.

When did it change?

She can’t tell. One day he was her little Tsu-kun the same as she’s always known him to be, and the next she was looking in his eyes and feeling like she was seeing them for the first time in her life.

Why did it change?

She can guess. It’s only ever been him and her in the mansion against the rest of them ever since he was born, but it seems Nana has been failing to meet him halfway, forcing him to look into himself to become his own strength and support.

Tsuna shouldn’t even feel like it’s only the two of them against the rest of them. Not when he’s been born in this world, not when it’s the only world he’s ever known, unlike her who married in it, who loved her way in it. They spend time in Namimori whenever they can, only being Nana, Iemitsu and Tsuna, only being the Sawada family, but surely it can’t have that much weight compared to the life he’s known the most all his life, can it?

But maybe it has, because Tsuna has always taken from her the most rather than from Iemitsu. Iemitsu has always happily and lovingly agreed to that, loves to remind her of that fact whenever he can, and she never considered the thought that fact might one day feel bittersweet to know.

Nana frustratingly wipes the slow tears dripping down her cheeks. She’s alone in her room, too big and luxurious. No doubt something most people would dream of, but it’s never been a dream of hers, has never been a part of what her ideal life looks like. She sits in the armchair, keeping her eyes away from the too large bed she doesn’t get to share at night as often as she’d want to.

She retreats in her room at times when she feels too painfully just how much ill-fitted she still is for the mafia world, even after all these years. She’s learned to put up a perfect front, to be the trustworthy and reliable wife of a high-ranked and powerful mafioso. She’s learned when to smile and when not to, when to demand respect and when to let it slide, when to be accommodating and when to exert her higher influence and status to make them accommodate her, but it’s still just that, a front. It’s still not who she is, nor the way she wants to be a trustworthy and reliable wife to her husband when it comes to his job.

Today it stings especially deep that Iemitsu wasn’t able to make it to dinner even though he said he should be able to, and she couldn’t even bear to finish dinner with Tsuna first before retreating in her room. Not when the look in his eyes has changed.

It’s not a bad change, and she’s even proud of him for it, she is. Tsuna’s growing up, of course he’s growing up. It’s not something any parents can stop their children from doing however much they wish they could, but he isn’t supposed to grow up that fast. Shouldn’t be forced to, shouldn’t feel the need to.

He shouldn’t be growing up so fast not even herself noticed when it happened, shouldn’t have had to do it alone, and it makes her want to cry, makes her heart clench.

She’s learned to be a mafioso’s wife, but she seems to have forgotten to also be a mother at the same time.

She believed she could be both when she decided to become part of Iemitsu’s world instead of going her separate way from him, resolved she would be both. Both Iemitsu’s wife and the wife of a mafioso, as well as Tsuna’s mother, and not just the mother of the son of a mafioso, but here she is anyway.

Here they both are now.

Tears keep trickling down her face, and she doesn’t care to wipe them away anymore. She doesn’t have anyone to wipe them away for her either, doesn’t have anyone to trust the secret of their existence with. Not anyone who’d understand them anyway.

Never mind that she was a civilian most of her life before becoming mafia, because it’s not as if all mafiosi want their children to follow in their footsteps or don’t wish they could get them out of it too. Mafiosi of lower status or of no status at all gaining a higher status through marriage is a common practice too, and similar enough to her situation to allow understanding.

But Nana chose to marry in this world, chose to love her way in it when she was completely free from it and could have remained so. Iemitsu and her both resolved to do everything they could to have the best of both worlds, and she can’t think of anyone who’d understand she truly believed they could achieve it if they just tried hard enough, because she’s the one who was a civilian most of her life.

She can’t think of anyone who wouldn’t laugh at her face or wouldn’t look at her with disdain and contempt should she confide her tears in them.

Of course Iemitsu’s split between his family and theirs, and has to choose his family so to keep theirs safe, if for no other reason. Of course he can’t make it back to them as often and for as long as she’d want him to, and one day might never come back to them at all, leaving her without a husband and Tsuna without a father.

Of course Tsuna will grow up to become mafia too, and she wants to raise him to be a mafioso if she cares about him surviving the mafia and living in it for as long as possible. It’s the world she gave birth to him in, and the life she gave birth to him to.

But now she wants to blame them and their world for it when she chose to become one of them too? When she chose to make their world hers too?

They’d be right about everything, but Iemitsu swore.

Nana loves him, of course she does. He’s the love of her life, she knows it deep in her bones without a shadow of a doubt. When he told her the truth about just what his job was and she wondered just how many other things he might have lied to her about, she’s still never doubted his love for her, nor a second of him loving her.

Ultimately it’s what made her stay, but Nana has always wanted children more than anything else in the world. She’s always wanted to love them and see them grow up and live long, safe and happy lives. If not for Iemitsu swearing to her their children would be able to choose, wouldn’t be forced in anything, that he’d see to it they wouldn’t be no matter what, she swears she would have made another choice because she loves Tsuna more than anything else in the world, she does.

Iemitsu swore.

He lied.

He didn’t mean to, is still trying not to, but here they all are now.

Because Tsuna is an heir to Vongola too, even if he’s only the spare, their very last option should it ever come to that, which is the only reason why they live in the Vongola mansion despite how it politically poorly reflects on CEDEF when it comes to its independence from Vongola.

Anger burns alive in Nana’s chest at the sight of her too big and luxurious room.

It always burns alive too whenever everyone acts as if they’re entitled to see Tsuna as only the spare heir, one they don’t want and don’t think anything of at best, and so they feel all the more entitled to disregard him completely until they’ll have a need of him, if such a day should ever happen. As if they wouldn’t throw themselves at his feet and beg him to save Vongola from meeting its end should such a day happen.

Nana hates the sight of it, yet doesn’t allow herself to hold onto her anger, has no right to. Iemitsu swore, but it’s both their failures that he isn’t able to keep his promise. Because Nana hates even more the way they feel free to only see Tsuna as someone they might one day need but don’t care about in the meantime even in front of her, as if they weren’t talking about her son, but she knows who she has to blame for it.

After all a good mafioso’s wife hasn’t anything to say when people praise her son whenever he shows potential to become a great mafioso, and she shouldn’t want to take his defense when they look down at him for the many ways he’s ill-fitted to become a mafioso, shouldn’t feel happy, proud and relieved at that.

Nana hides her face in her hands, the sobs she’s been holding back stuck in her throat and choking her.

“Mama?”

Nana startles, hastily wiping her eyes dry as she stands. “Ts—Tsuna?” Tsuna’s half in her room, half still hidden behind the door. She smiles. “Did you already finish eating?”

“Do you want me to leave?”

“No, of course not,” she says a little too fast, walking to him. “Come on in. You know I always have time for my little Tsu-kun, right?” Tsuna gives her a small smile, fully stepping inside but staying at the door. “Do you need something?”

“Why didn’t Papa eat with us?” Nana freezes. “He said he would too.”

“I’m sure he tried, but sometimes he still can’t because of his work. Because he works hard so he can take care of us.” Tsuna says nothing, his eyes intent on her, and she kneels in front of him, taking his hands in hers. “Because he loves us,” she feels compelled to say by the way he looks at her.

“You don’t like it here.”

Nana’s smile falters, and it feels stiff when she forcefully keeps it on her face anyway. “It’s… a little lonely sometimes. You know how much your mama loves your papa, right?” She laughs, but Tsuna’s lips don’t even twitch. “If I could, I’d spend all my time with the both of you, so sometimes I just miss him, that’s all.”

“You were crying.”

Nana smiles wider. “I just miss him a lot today. But I’m okay, so you don’t have to worry.”

Tsuna looks down, his shoulders dropping. “But I like Namimori better too.”

“Your dad loves us,” Nana says again, squeezing his hands, and she doesn’t know for whom she says it. “That’s why he wanted us to live together here, so he could still be with us and still keep working at the same time. You know that, right?”

“But I love you too. So I’d let you go so you can be happy too.”

Nana stops smiling, and she can’t make herself smile again even when Tsuna shyly catches her eye again from under his eyelashes. She wants to squeeze his hands even tighter, but she doesn’t want to hurt him. “Tsu-kun, you… there’s something you decided you want to do, isn’t it? Is it anything Mama can help you with?”

“I’m okay,” he says first, because of course, she’s been his mother just as long as he’s been her son, and the smile ghosting her lips is genuine. “I just want to make friends. I… feel lonely too. And…” he looks her straight in the eye, squeezing her hands back, and the new look in his eyes is the most obvious she’s seen it yet “… I want my people. I want a family too.”

Nana’s heart clenches, clenches, clenches.

Iemitsu and her failed him both, and so he had to look in himself to find the strength and resolve to be the one to give himself the choice. Maybe to even make it should it come to that.

He’s not saying Iemitsu and her aren’t his family. To him there’s always been family and family ever since he was born, and if he doesn’t want to become Vongola’s family but Vongola still won’t let go of him in case they end up having a need for him, then he’ll just have to carve a place of his own within it so he can call it home and family too.

“I love you too,” Tsuna says again. “Can it be enough?”

Can he be enough?

Can she stand by him even if it might mean she’ll have to stand against Iemitsu at times? Even if it might mean she’ll have to help him go against family at times?

Nana slaps her hand against her mouth, tears spilling out of her eyes before she has any chance to stop them, Tsuna’s hopeful and uncertain voice breaking her heart.

In the next second she holds him tight against her, burying her face in his hair. “Of course it’s enough. Oh, Tsu-kun, I’m so sorry. You’re everything I’ll ever need. Of course, of course, always.”

Tsuna says nothing, but holds her tight too, and when his body shakes and she feels her shirt growing wet, she cries harder.

Her baby boy, her little Tsu-kun, and that she made him lose faith in the fact she loves him for exactly who he is, she thinks him good enough and perfect just the way he is, and that she’d never change anything to him and will always love him no matter what is crushing.

When has he started thinking even her might wish he was better at being who he is? When has he started losing faith in her love for him?

She can’t tell.

How can she not be able to tell?

But Tsuna still wants her to be his mother, is willing to give her the chance to make up for her failures as his mother up until now, and she won’t let him down, not ever again.

And Nana loves Iemitsu too, she does. He’s the love of her life. It hurts to know Tsuna won’t ask the same of Iemitsu, especially when it’s love that’d make Iemitsu not want to let go of him either, and she can only hope he’ll do so somewhere down the line sooner than later, but it’s still an easy choice to do. It’s not even a choice at all, and when—when, hopefully—Tsuna will ask the same of him, she can only hope his answer will come to him as naturally as breathing too.

She’ll stand by Tsuna and will always choose him over anything and everyone else in the world, of course she will.

Nana can’t tell how much time has passed when they finally pull back from each other. She helps Tsuna dries his tears, and he laughs as she does, making her laugh too, both of them smiling bright and wide.

She cradles his face between his hands, leaning his forehead against his. “You’re perfect just the way you are, Tsuna. There’s nothing about you you need to change, and Mama promise to always love you no matter what, all right?”

He marks a pause, looking into her eyes, but then smiles, tears gleaming in his eyes again. “Okay. I love you too.”

“Did you finish eating?”

He shakes his head. “I wasn’t hungry anymore after you left.”

“Then will you go tell Madi we’re sorry, but we’d be grateful if she could prepare us something warm again? I’ll be right behind you.”

Tsuna beams, and she smiles wider at him. “Really?”

“Yes, really.”

He cheers, throwing himself in her arms for a quick hug before running out of her room. She laughs, standing up, and finds a mirror to make sure she’s presentable again before leaving her room too.

She doesn’t look like much with her wet cheeks, red eyes and disheveled hair. Then again, she’s never looked like much in any of their eyes, has she? Even after she met their standards of what they expected the wife of Vongola’s CEDEF’s boss to be. Of how they expected her to be.

She supposes she was a civilian too long for them to not keep seeing her as a civilian before anything else, and one too clueless to ever realize just the full extent of the influence and power her status holds. The authority her status holds too, as long as she makes use of her influence and power right. Especially when she’s only been doing the strict minimum in being mafia, and her personality being what it is likely works against her too.

Good. Let them keep thinking that way, as it’s all things she’ll make work for her now. Things she’ll make work for Tsuna.

Nana learned how to be a good mafioso’s wife. She can start from scratch again and learn how to be Tsuna’s mother too.

And if it’ll help her be a better mother to him, if it’ll help her help him be happy in the world she gave birth to him in and in the life she gave birth to him to, she can also learn to be the wife of Vongola’s CEDEF’s boss and the mother of one of Vongola’s heirs.

She will.

[steorransaluki]

getting emotional about. leather.

[aewrie]

'once a week or more' well rip

my default state of being when i'm not having a bad day is a little tired & nursing a budding headache. i have a headache right now that i'm ignoring

is this going to be another of those 'there is no such thing as a 'mild' concussion, if you hit your head bad enough to black out it is a concussion' lmao???

i get headaches from fucking everything. weather/air pressure (low and high). low/high blood sugar or too rapid changes there. too bright/dim light (at home i am specific about my lights/curtains at different points of the day/depending on how bright it's outside to avoid these). rapid repetitive/jarring physical motions (just jumping a little can be enough/make it worse). muscle tension. doing stretching/exercise that gets blood really flowing. lack of and/or bad sleep, or too much sleep. getting (strongly) emotional. caffeine (a new exiting one! only started regularly drinking coffee fairly recently. how much caffeine is too much is a fucking mystery though). i should wear glasses (myopia, not too severe) but i avoid it unless i need to see that far that well in part bc the glasses pressing on my temples give me headaches more easily than my eyes being slightly tired does.

i'm probably forgetting a bunch more

but every time i've seen people describe migraines i've thought well mine aren't anywhere near that severe/those specific kinds of headaches so No Way it's that

but. i do have other symptoms on that list? i just never thought it might be related to my headaches bc i'd not seen those mentioned, at least not in a way that i could identify as something i should consider in connection to this, and there's always the huge stress that migraines are always extra super bad to the point that a Real migraine completely disables you for a while. while to me it's. it's annoying, it hurts, if it's particularly bad it can make things more difficult but not impossible/near impossible; just, a general It's Not That Bad, therefore normal and i should just deal with it

[strayslost]

Fyodor, despite often being assumed to do so by others, doesn't literally know everything about everyone. This child - known by most as Q, has been a closely-guarded secret of the mafia for a long time, locked away and shut out of sight completely as if that would make them disappear. How typical of humanity... treating a child with such cruelty, and then justifying it to themselves through their own fear - they can't help but fall into sin again and again, while telling themselves they're still in the right.

Fyodor smiles to himself. There will be punishment for every crime in the end, and this is a kind that none of them will see coming. How amusing it'll be to watch...

"Excuse me. I seem to have found myself lost in a place I shouldn't be... I don't suppose you'd be willing to help me out...?"

@theircurse ( starter! )

[talkorsomething]

I get to spin in the parade for realsies btw 🥰 only had one (1) minor breakdown at practice !

[nexus-nebulae]

damn i actually had a pretty good streak there of not having bad insomnia days. that's pretty impressive for me like i haven't really had one since early January

[blackmesa-vr]

🥊🏆

[nekhcore]

HEY YOU!

Yeah, you! Are you trans? Do you like reading books? Or watching movies?

Do you like media about trans men/transmasculine characters but don't know where to find it?

That's sooo crazy because I have this little spreadsheet I'm working on where I'm trying to document all media with protagonists/major characters who are FTM or transmasculine.

The spreadsheet currently has 400+ entries spread across the following categories:

Books

Manga

Memoirs and non-fiction

Movies

TV Shows

Graphic novels / Comics

Webcomics

Audio dramas

Books and movies are also sorted by:

Which character is trans (MC, love interest, antagonist, etc)

If the trans character is POC

The trans character's sexuality (Because I saw lots of transhet guys sad about only being able to find gay romances)

If the author/actor is also trans (if we know for sure)

It's free to use, and free to add to as well! Editing permissions are on, and I check on the spreadsheet every now and then to make sure everything is in order and to clean up.

If you know something that isn't on the list, please add it! You don't have to fill in every single column, but fill it to the best of your abilities.

If you don't want to use the big ass long link below, you can also use: bit.ly/FTM-protags

I made this because I want it to be a community resource. So even if you're not a trans guy or transmasculine person, please reblog!

[neganium]

I lost the thread, so to speak, and now idk if I'll be able to get it back. Which is a shame, bc for once it actually seemed like a workable idea! I wish I had just left StimuWrite as it was (I'm still not completely sold on it in its base form, anyways, tho it was excellent for a very quick piece I needed to get done for this year's Monster Masquerade on Goatlings), or used 2007 Word or SmartEdit instead, since I have both of those as well, and even typically use Word as my predominant writing program. Ugh. I'll still try, tho; I've always wanted to do a monthly challenge, and while I'd likely never make it to the usual goal post for NaNoWriMo, I could at least set an achievable goal on a daily to weekly basis (or just whenever I felt like writing) and get something done to get me out of my slump. One thing that I do enjoy about StimuWrite is the progress bar, and active feedback in the form of little floating emojis whenever you reach a certain percentage of your goal (which you can set for yourself; default is 200 words).