#They should change it some sort of bitch about your boyfriend group because that's all anyone does

[animalcuckllective]

The yandere femcel group should really change their name since everyone in the group seems to be polyamorous sex workers. Not the kind of people I think of when I think yandere femcel.

[hongjoongslut]

Title: Mortal Chaos

after being banished from Mount Olympus, you are forced to wreak havoc on mortals. every man that has stepped into your life, they’ve fallen to your knees and did what you asked at will. no mortal man has ever given you trouble or attitude at your requests, except for one. Yoo Kihyun.

pairing: goddess!reader (Até, goddess of mischief, delusion, ruin, and blind folly, rash action and reckless impulse) x mortal!mafialeader!Kihyun

rating: 18+

Word Count: 2.4k

warnings: greekmythology!au, tatted!kihyun, nonidol!kihyun, reader is such a bitch but thats how she was made, mafia themes, sarcasm, so much sarcasm, mentions of readers and kihyun’s past victims, reader and kihyun have a physical fight but it doesn’t last long.

NSFW warnings: dom!kihyun, brat!reader, unprotected sex (this goddess has superpowers to not get pregnant lol, always wear protection), pull out method, oral (f receiving), kihyun is a cocky little shit in bed, slight degradation from both parties but no harsh names

BTW reader's thoughts are in italics :)

Enjoy!!

being a goddess should be beautiful, right? it’s not everything it sounds like. you just so happen to be one of the few goddesses that are feared instead of loved. you’ve made men do unspeakable things countless times, they just fall to your knees and bend at your will. for years you fooled gods until Zeus had enough of your antics. he banished you to Earth. now you’re stuck with pathetic mortals, but at least you can still wreak havoc here.

you can’t exactly be in your goddess form without notice, so you pretend to be some sort of rebel among the others. you’re going to your usual club where sorry, pathetic men roam freely, unknowingly that you’re about to ruin their lives. “these mortal songs aren’t too bad.” you thought to yourself, searching for your prey. you see a few men that are far from sober and you almost pity them, almost. no one has really sparked your interest, so you go on the dance floor. “might as well act as a mortal since i’m here.” your outfit is sure to spark men at a club, how could they not fall in love with fishnets hugging your thighs oh so deliciously.

so far you’ve been looking for random men to practice on, while you wait for your target to show up. Yoo Kihyun. you’ve been in this town for a while, and everybody you meet tells you to stay away from him and his gang, Monsta X. there’s wanted posters almost everywhere you go. you thought the members would be nice to mess with, but once you figured out who the leader was, your heart was set. he was definitely a handsome man, even a blind person could see so. his men are attractive as well, you’re sure so many women fall to their feet.

you’re dancing in a crowd of people who smell of sweat and alcohol. “almost smells like sex.” of course you’ve been bumped into, but someone is getting a little to close for your liking. you push it off until someone grabs your hips and tries to make you grind on them. you turn to find some wasted dude, smirking. “back the fuck off bitch, you don’t want to mess with me.” he laughs “i can’t resist you baby…” he slurs. you scoff, shoving him away. you turn to dance again but he grabs your wrist. “feisty, i love it sweetheart.” you’ve had it. you turn and sock him directly in the nose. “don’t fucking touch me. go to hell.” he stumbles, blood beginning to pour from his now crooked nose. “you bitch…i’m gonna kill you!” he tries to run to you, but he is stopped by a tatted arm. “get the fuck out of my club before i deal with you myself.” the man turns to face Yoo Kihyun, his eyes immediately widened. the drunk runs away from the situation, leaving you and Kihyun standing there.

“im so sorry about that ma’am. you did break his nose, i’m impressed. i’ve never seen a woman do that.” he scoffs, now facing you. “can i get you anything on the house for dealing with such an asshole?” you smile. “No thanks, but is there any first aid kit in here? My hand really hurts..” you rub your perfectly fine hand. “i’ve got you kihyun.” he nods. “follow me. don’t worry, we’ll get that hand looked at.” you walk behind him, studying his features. “he really is handsome. i’m gonna have so much fun with him.” he brings you to his office, guiding you to a chair. “i’m sure you may have just bruised or maybe even broke it. you socked the hell out of him.” he laughs again. “you’d be perfect for the mafia. i’m sure you’ve heard this town is filled with gangs left and right.” he turns to you and examines your hand. “wow, i don’t see any cuts or bruises. it doesn’t feel broken or anything, you’re a strong woman.” he looks at you smirking. “thank you, what’s your name?” he rolls his eyes, scoffing.

“have you not been in town for long? everybody here knows my name. I’m Yoo Kihyun, I run this club.” he offers his hand, you reach out to shake it. “ahh, well nice to meet you Kihyun, i’m y/n.” he smiles. “what a beautiful name, it suits such a badass woman like you.” you start to admire his office. “he has good taste in decor and aesthetic.” you walk around, analyzing his office. “this office is gorgeous, who are all these people?” you point to a picture of him and Monsta X. he walks to you, seeing what picture you’re pointing at. “ahh, those are my closest friends. they work for me here at this club.” you can feel the music blaring through the floor. “you know, i actually recognize these men. i think they’re in some sort of gang.. why would you be friends with such horrible people?” you start to back away, pretending to be scared.

“so you did know who i was all along. i’m not that dumb sweetheart.” he looks at you, then walks to his door and locks it. “so, who do you work for and why are you here? i suggest you tell me willingly or we’ll have to get it out another way.” you back away from him, your butt hitting his desk. “i-i don’t work for anyone! i just came here because my boyfriend just left me and my friends suggested i come here to forget about that asshole… please don’t hurt me!” you really should become an actor, he’s completely fooled. “i’m so sorry about that y/n.. i can make him disappear you know. just say the word and it will be like he never existed.” you smiled, looking down to his feet. his finger comes to your chin, lifting your face. “you’re really beautiful darling. he’s missing out on such a kickass woman. tell me, since you’ve definitely heard of my gang, what do you think of me?” you don’t know how he’s affecting you, this isn’t supposed to happen. wetness fills between your legs.

“i think you’re very attractive and maybe you need a woman by your side to help with this shitty town. i may look innocent, but i’ve done unspeakable things baby.” he smirks, eyeing your features. “you wouldn’t last five minutes in my gang babygirl. we’re feared internationally.” you hum, biting your lip. “i’ve terrorized gods and men alike. nothing scares me.” you reach to hold his cheek. “maybe it’s you that wouldn’t last five minutes with me.” you wink, caressing the apple of his cheeks. you feel his cheeks becoming warm. “why don’t we test that theory then darling. you sure you want me and you can handle me? i wouldn’t want to be the same person that asshole downstairs.” you shake your head. “you’re so much better than him. give me your worst-“ you lean into his ear “-daddy.”

he steps back, eying your figure. “you play a wonderful lie darling, but i’m not fooled. i suggest you tell me why you’re really here or im getting my friends up here. you do not want that sweetheart.” he pulls a knife from his pocket, holding it against your throat. you laugh. “oh kihyun, you really think this knife scares me? you’re all bark and no bite baby.” his pupils dilate, pushing the knife closer to your throat. “don’t fucking push me brat.” you stare at each other for a moment before you push him away. you punch his stomach, making him stumble back. “instead of using the cowards way out, show me how tough this mafia leader really is.” he scoffs. “im not hitting a lady. get out before i change my mind.” you walk towards him. “if you want me out so badly, why did you lock the door?” you push him to his knees and knee him in the jaw, making him lay flat on the floor. “i suggest you do as i say or you’ll be my next victim.” he sighs. he wraps his leg around yours, pulling you to the ground. he punches you hard in the gut, making you whine slightly. he pulls out a walkie talkie. “boys, get up here, now.” your eyes widen.

“they will be here soon unless you apologize darling, i suggest you do so.” you sigh, not wanting to ruin your plan, “i’m sorry kihyun...im just fighting because its all i know how to do. I’ll leave you alone.” he lets you up and calls his members. “nevermind that, boys. i’ve got it handled.” you let a small smile show to your face. you turn to leave his office when he stops you. “y/n, i never thought i’d beg to anyone but we definitely need you in our group. we may look handsome but its nothing to your beauty. not to mention, you can definitely fight and defend yourself. please darling, i’ll do anything.” you smile subconsciously. “oh how dumb can you really be?” you stare at him, watching him eye you up and down. “listen here. if i tell you my secret, i’d have to kill you, but just know that i can fight a lot better than what i did with you. i’ve never seen someone so handsome...it attracts me.” he smirks. “Well, what do i need to do so you’ll join Monsta X princess?” you stare at him for a moment before softly pecking his lips. “how about you show me how one of the most feared leaders is when he’s begging to cum?” something switched in his eyes, you could see it. “i definitely will, brat.”

he picks you up with ease and slams you on his desk. his lips are devouring yours and his tongue is exploring every part of your mouth. “how the hell is a mortal making me so aroused?” he leaves your lips to mark your neck. your body is getting antsy. “as much as i love this, just fuck me already kihyun...or is it that you’re too weak to please me?” he grabs your throat, closing his hands. The loss of air is so thrilling, you almost don’t want him to leave. “princess, that’s not the case at all. you better learn your place quickly or you’re not cumming at all tonight.” he rips off your shirt, taking a second to view you. “so beautiful darling...and all for me.” you smile at his words. he removes your pants, leaving you in just your lacey boyshorts. “i swear if he judges me for wearing boyshorts, i will actually kill him” he removes them, staring directly at your pussy. “so wet...yet you called me weak? how ironic.” he licks a stripe on you, your entire body losing itself. “sweet tasting, beautiful looking and is badass? you must be my dream.” he goes back to your pussy, eating you as if he has never tasted food before. moans leave your mouth, your mind can’t even process words. “kihyun...don’t fucking stop please...holy shit.” he doesn’t respond verbal;y, he responds with pushing his index finger into your soaking cunt. “god…. i cannot wait to feel these walls against my cock. so perfect princess.” a familiar feeling is bubbling inside you. “kihyun, im so close...please let me cum!” he looks up at you, smirking at your already fucked out state. “since you asked so nicely, cum all over my tongue darling.” he starts eating you out again, his tongue and fingers moving faster than the speed of light. you scream his name as you cum. he leans up, licking his lips. “the sweetest thing i’ve ever had baby. he removes his shirt, showing you his inked chest. “holy shit, how does he keep getting hotter?” he sees you looking at his chest. “you got a staring problem baby. i know, they make me so irresistible.” you roll your eyes. “come fuck me already or i will blue ball you in a split second.” his eyes widen. he takes his pants off, slipping his boxers off with them. “are you on birth control?” he softens a bit. “im not able to get pregnant, and i wont tell you why.” he laughs. “jeez, so hostile.” he slowly pushes in, watching your reaction. “holy shit kihyun…” he sighs. “so warm and wet...i am definitely not gonna last long.” he pushes further until he bottoms out. he watches how your body is reacting, making sure he isn’t actually hurting you. “please move kihyun. i can’t wait any longer.” he pulls out slowly only to go back in harder. he picks up his pace, moans bouncing off the walls. “shit...you’re so perfect y/n, i wish i could stay in this pussy all day.” you can’t pronounce anything but his names and very explicit words. you’re uncontrollably squeezing down on his cock, making him falter his pace. “you’re squeezing down on me….god im so close.” you can feel another orgasm bubbling inside you. “k-kihyun, please please please let me cum, wanna-wanna cum all over your cock.” his breathing and pace is becoming irregular. “yes... yes princess, cum all over my cock.” he rubs your clit, making you scream. your orgasm hits you hard, your body shaking uncontrollably. “princess…. holy shit!” he pulls out of you, shooting his cum all over your stomach. he sighs, still getting over his high. he grabs a tissue from his desk and wipes you clean. he helps you back into your clothes. he starts dressing himself, wearing a permanent smile. “so, is that what i needed to do for you to join my gang, princess?” you scoff, rolling your eyes.

“you’re so arrogant kihyun, but hell yes.”

oh my goodness my baby is finally out!! it took a while for me to finish this but i absolutely love this

[bqstqnbruin]

F is for Friends - part 4

Look, I know it's 4 am, but hear me out: I finally finished this part. Ignore typos because at this point, that's just who I am as a person honestly.

Hope you like it!

Read the other parts here: part 1 // part 2 // part 3

__________________

“You haven’t seen him in how long?” Maddy asks you from the kitchen. You and your roommate were both home on a weekend for the first time in what seemed like forever, taking the opportunity to invite Fran and Lindsey over for a girls day. Nolan always seemed to be the topic of conversation whenever you entered the room, and you had a feeling that he was even when you weren’t there. The girls were overcome with affection for the rosy cheeked, long haired boy next door who was slowly becoming your friend.

Just your friend.

“Not since he came to my classroom last week,” you tell them. “I dropped him off and then got ready for my date with Keelan that night.”

Fran scoffs at the sound of your boyfriend's name, Lindsey rolling her eyes. “Oh, god,” Maddy groans.

“What?” you whine, dreading where this conversation was going.

“I’m trying to block that night from my memory. Especially considering you didn’t remember that I was home that night,” she says, handing Fran and Lindsey the water they had asked for.

“We weren’t that bad,” you tell her, the heat rushing to your cheeks in embarrassment anyway. You two had went back to your place after the date, not hesitating to polish off the two open bottles of wine that were in your fridge, also not hesitating to have sex as would most couples who want to do that sort of thing.

“Yes, you were. Hearing you and Keelan fuck is like listening to a poorly written PG-13 makeout session audio clip from Riverdale,” she lets out, Fran spitting her water as Lindsey starts choking on hers.

Your mouth hangs open as you try to comprehend what she just said. “Ok, one, rude. Two, why is that the comparison you make? And three, why were you listening?”

Maddy scoffs, “As if the walls weren’t so thin that Nolan and Kevin could hear you playing music in the first place. Anyway, whatever it was you were doing in there I’m pretty sure it would end up in Riverdale.”

“I need you to stop watching Riverdale,” you say, straightfaced to your roommate, “and stop comparing it to my sex life!”

“Oh! I have an idea!” Fran squeals, changing the subject.

“Oh, no,” you groan, knowing that whatever she was about to suggest was going to end poorly for at least one of you.

She rolls her eyes, getting up and going over to your window. Your car was parked right next to Kevin's, an indication that the boys were home. “What if we went out tonight and asked Kevin and Nolan to come?”

You can’t help but glare at her, knowing what her tactics were: if you and Nolan went out and got drunk together, her mind believed that you would reveal whatever feelings she thought you had for each other. Everything would come out in a drunken confession that you would have to deal with in the morning. “We’re not going out tonight.”

Fran drags you from the chair you were comfortably sitting in, Lindsey and Maddy following as the four of your run out your door. You were facing Nolan and Kevin’s, Fran knocking wildly on the wood before pushing you to the front of the group.

Nolan hears someone at the door, interrupting the workout he was doing solely to keep himself busy. He could hear voices on the other side of the door, indicating that he probably should grab a shirt to put on, reaching for the nearest towel he could find instead. “Hey,” he says, seeing you, Maddy, Fran and Lindsey all standing at his door, your mouths hanging open. He could feel his cheeks turning more pink at the thought of all of you seeing him without a shirt, even though he knew you had before.

You, on the other hand, were trying to figure out what to say, coming up short at the sight of Nolan’s abs, sweat making his body shine and leaving you to admire it longer than you needed to be. “I,” you start, forgetting why you were standing in front of your shirtless neighbor in the first place, “have no idea why we’re here.”

“We’re going out tonight,” Fran starts, pushing you out of the way, “and were wondering if you and Kevin and any of the guys wanted to join us.”

Nolan wasn’t focusing on what Fran was saying, he was too busy trying not to read too much into your flustered reaction, paying more attention to how your eyes traced his body. “Yeah, sure,” he shrugs, not taking his eyes off you. He sees your expression change, a nervous look on your face as you shook your head at him. “Uh, actually, we, um,” he tries to retract.

“Perfect!” Lindsey practically screams, Nolan visibly shaken by her outburst. “Y/N will text you the details!”

Before you or him could protest, the four of you are running back to your place, you looking over your shoulder at Nolan, an apologetic look on his face.

Why didn’t you want him to go out with you guys tonight? That was the first time he had seen you since he went to your classroom. He didn’t know if you were avoiding him or if you were just busy, but either way, he wanted to see you tonight.

“Ok, girl, if you don’t want Nolan, can I have him?” Fran drools once the four of you are back in your apartment. “God, he is so hot.”

“I, uh, I don’t care,” you tell her. What or who Nolan did was not your problem. “If he wants to and you want to, then go for it, what’s stopping you?”

She looks at you, a smirk covering her face. “You.”

You scowl at her, not unaware of the shocked looks on Maddy and Lindsey’s faces. “Oh, really?”

“You clearly like him. You’ve liked him since the day he knocked on your door.”

“I’m in love with Keelan. I have been in love with Keelan for a couple of years now, if you remember. Just because you hate him for whatever stupid reason, doesn’t mean that I do,” you tell her, walking away to your room. You didn’t have to deal with this. She wasn’t one of your students where you had to settle whatever conflict was coming up between you.

“Your boyfriend is a jerk, come on,” she says, following you.

You whip around to face her, catching her off guard as she takes a step back when she sees the anger in your face. “How has he really been a jerk to you? Because, from what I remember, he was the only one on the guy's team who stood by you guys when the athletic director wouldn’t help fund your trip to that regatta in England while they were fully funding the boy's trips to Boston and the IRAs and a trip to California for a training session with someone from Team USA. He’s the one who tutored you for the entirety of our junior year for free so you wouldn’t fail your class and wouldn’t lose your scholarship or your place on the team, and did the same for Lindsey. He’s the one who literally gave us the key to his family's beach house down the shore the last three summers in a row because he wanted to make sure that we took a break and didn’t get burned out. But you’re right, Fran, he is a jerk.”

“Come on, Y/N-” she starts.

“No. Stop,” you tell her. “I’m sick of you guys being absolute bitches about Keelan when he has never done anything to warrant this besides be on the crew team. If you want to go out with Nolan, and he wants to go out with you, then be my guest. I’m happy with my jerk.”

She stands there, stunned by your outburst, Lindsey and Maddy trying to comprehend what just happened themselves when you slam your bedroom door, locking yourself in your room until it was time to leave.

Your phone buzzes as you throw yourself onto your bed, thinking it would be one of the girls asking you to come out of your room.

Nolan: Do you really want us to come with you guys tonight?

Y/N: I really don’t care. Fran seems to have something planned and wants you guys there.

Nolan: Fran does?

Y/N: Yep.

Nolan shouldn’t be reading too much into this, staring at his phone hoping to see those three bubbles popping up to show that you were going to explain more. What could Francesca have planned? What did that mean?

He gets the details about where you guys were planning on going, forwarding the information about going to Howl to some of his teammates. What could Fran have planned?

You lay on your bed, your phone buzzing with texts from Nolan and Keelan coming in. Anything you felt for Nolan was meaningless. He was your neighbor. He was your friend. Keelan was the guy you were dating. Keelan was the guy you loved.

You start going through your closet, not really wanting to go but knowing that you were going to end up dragged out anyway, flipping through all your teaching clothes as if you thought there was anything in there that was appropriate for a bar and not for school.

You hear a knock on your door, Fran poking her head into your room earning a scoff from you. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m still mad at you,” you respond, not looking at her.

“That’s fair,” she says, plopping herself on your bed next to the pile of clothes that you were forming from your closet. “Does this mean you’re still coming with us?”

“Yeah, you’re paying for drinks.”

“That’s fair, too.” The two of you let silence come between you, you rummaging through your clothes to try to find something to wear while she fiddles with the hem of one of your shirts. “What if you did the black ripped jeans with this shirt?” Fran says, holding up something that you were sure was Maddy’s, probably stolen from her on a night when you were going out without her and buried amongst the rest of your clothes.

“Are you guys going home to change or what are you wearing?” you ask her, both of you pretending like you weren’t mad at her.

“Can I borrow something of yours?”

“Yep.”

She shuffles through your clothes some more, Maddy and Lindsey clamoring around in the kitchen to make something for the four of you to eat before you started drinking, not doing anything to try to be quiet. “You know I love you. I just want you to be with a guy that deserves you.”

You take in a deep breath, finally turning to Fran sitting on your bed. “How do you know that isn’t Keelan? I’ve been happy with him for how many years now?”

“You’ve been together since we were juniors which was, what, five years ago now? Four? Have you two even talked about anything like getting married or starting a family together?”

You think about it, knowing that you’ve seen proposals, you’ve definitely looked at rings, but it was never serious. You’ve watched movies with Keelan where the characters get engaged or get married, try to have a family, all of that, but you never did talk about it. You never thought of a future with him, you only thought of the present.

You shake your head, Fran giving you that sympathetic look that you didn’t want. “If you’ve been together for this long, and he’s not thinking about forever with you, then what’s he thinking of? You can love Keelan, but if he can’t promise to love you back forever, then you’re just wasting time.”

“You think so?” She shakes her head, but you wish she didn’t. “You’re not just saying this because you don’t like him?” you ask.

“I don’t like him because I’m saying this. He’s a good person, but I don’t like seeing you with him when I’m not sure he wants to be with you forever.” Before you can answer, you hear Maddy and Lindsey dropping something from your kitchen, knowing that whatever it was you were going to have to clean up yourself if you ever wanted it clean. “If you want your kitchen safe, I think we need to go out there,” Fran laughs, pulling you up from your bed. “We’ll change after we eat.”

The four of you eat and pre-game, thankful that Lindsey and Fran actually managed to clean up the mess well enough that you didn’t have to worry about it during your night out, Maddy no help even though she was the one who made it.

The boys said they would meet you at the bar, getting to Howl and texting Keelan to let him know where you were. Fran’s words had freaked you out. You knew you didn’t have to text Keelan where you were going, but there was something about the whole ‘if you’ve been together this long, shouldn’t you be talking about forever’ that made you feel like you had to. You and Keelan were happy, but did that mean that you have to be talking about marriage and kids and all that stuff? Was there something wrong with your relationship if you weren’t at this point?

“You look like you’re having a lot of fun,” Nolan’s voice snaps you out of what would turn into you spiraling. “What’s wrong?”

You shake your head, signaling to the bartender to get you another drink. “Nothing.”

“Good thing you don’t teach drama because you’re an awful actor,” he laughs, earning a glare from you. “Oh, come on, that was good.”

“Good thing you aren’t a comedian because you aren’t funny,” you fire back, a smile on your face as he laughs with you.

“Come on. What’s wrong? You can tell me anything,” he says, probably a little too flirty. But that’s something a friend would do. A friend would listen to you when you were having problems or when you were feeling down.

You sigh, taking a sip of the new drink in front of you. “Fran said something about Keelan and I that bothered me.” He raises his eyebrows, urging you to tell him more. “Apparently they think I’m wasting my time being with him,” you tell him, looking off to the crowd at the bar, just spacing out with your attention on nothing in particular.

He swallows hard, thankful that you didn’t notice his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down at your words. If you were wasting your time, then that would mean you would break up with Keelan, wouldn’t it? He was thinking too far into this, wasn’t he? “Do you,” he hesitates, clearing his throat to try to cover up his nerves, “do you think you’re wasting your time?”

You shrug, turning your attention back to him. His cheeks were more red than normal, his blushing causing heat to rush to your own cheeks. At least if you broke up with Keelan, you could try with Nolan, right?

No. Because you weren’t breaking up with Keelan. But, “I didn’t. But now, I don’t know.” You set into a rant about what Fran said to you in your room, adding in the fact that Lindsey and Maddy told you they also felt that way, but Lindsey still didn’t like him based on the fact that he was on the crew team and she had decided to hold that petty grudge even though that was a few years ago at this point. “I love him. But we have been together for a while, so why haven’t we even talked about it?”

“Do you see yourself marrying him?”

You stop and think about it. Before you can answer his question, Lindsey and Maddy whisk you away to dance, leaving Nolan at the bar with your drink. He sits and watches you, pretending not to hear the girl who had approached him and tried to have a conversation with him. He wasn’t trying to be rude, but he couldn’t help but focus all his attention on you. He studied you as you moved, the fluid motions in sync with the rhythm of the music, the laughter that escaped your lips when you hear Maddy and Lindsey sing, probably off key, the smile on your face as you joined in with them.

Nolan takes your drink back with him to the table, his teammates sitting there, unsurprisingly not getting up from the corner they had occupied. He doesn’t listen to them as they talk, Kevin and Travis being obnoxious as always. He found you again at the bar, leaning against it and talking to Maddy, Lindsey and Fran nowhere in sight.

“Nolan,” Travis calls to him, finally getting his friend’s attention. “Why are you over here if she’s over there?” he asks, pointing to you.

“Why would I go over there?” he deadpans, not wanting to be reminded that he was falling for you, hard and fast when he shouldn’t be.

“You’re in love with her and you want to be with her?” he states as if it were obvious, Nolan glaring at him while his teammates nodding. Nolan wasn’t that discrete when it came to his feelings about you to any of the guys, apparently. With you, he was sure you had no idea, but with them, they could read him like a book, something he hated at this moment.

Before he could answer, Keelan appears, as if by magic, his arms wrapped around you from behind. Nolan could see you tense up for a moment, not knowing who it was. You look down at your waist, a smile on your face as you come to realize it was your boyfriend, Nolan wanting nothing more than for him to be the one surprising you and holding you like that.

“Is that the boyfriend?” Oskar asks, right as you squeal in delight that he had come to see you, kissing him, your one hand on his shoulder, the other at the back of his neck, fingers intertwined with the curls there.

“Yep,” Nolan lets out, burying his face in his hands.

“He’s pretty hot,” Travis lets out, Kevin smacking him in the chest.

“Then you date him,” Kevin chirps, Nolan not wanting to say anything else to them.

“Karly might have something to say about that.”

Nolan tunes out the boys, their banter something he wanted nothing to do with, probably about him fawning over you while you were there, Keelan’s hands on you as the two of you danced, your foreheads touching and not taking your eyes off each other. If you were worried about the future, it didn’t show, enjoying the moment that was happening in front of you.

“Hey, come dance with me,” Fran snaps Nolan away from you, her hand extended to Nolan.

“Sure, why not,” Nolan mumbles, trying to be excited about dancing with your best friend, ignoring the guys hollers as they watched their friend get up with a girl, actually saying yes to someone who approached him.

The two of them start talking, falling into a weirdly easy conversation. People started gathering on the dance floor, pushing the two of them together, Nolan’s hand finding Fran’s back, pulling her closer to him. For the first time since he met you, he wasn’t thinking about you. He didn’t know if it was because of the alcohol, but Fran was right there, single, beautiful, funny. You had mentioned that going out with the guys was Fran’s idea, so did that mean Fran wanted Nolan for her? Should he be focusing his attention on someone who didn’t have a seemingly serious boyfriend? Probably.

You and Keelan get interrupted by Maddy and Lindsey, finally prying Keelan’s body off you. “Have you seen Fran?” Lindsey yells over the music.

“Not for a while, no,” you tell her, Keelan’s arms wrapping around you, both of you still moving with the music.

Maddy cranes her neck, trying to see over the crowd. You see her eyes go wide, grabbing Lindsey’s arm to show her what she was seeing. You follow their gaze, finding Fran and Nolan dancing together, her arms draped on his shoulders, him holding her as close as Keelan had been holding you. Fran kept her word about moving in on Nolan. “Good for her,” you swallow hard, Maddy and Lindsey turning back to you, shocked. “What?” you ask as if nothing were wrong.

Keelan had felt your entire body tense up when you saw Nolan and Fran. It was probably nothing, though. You were just happy for your friend, your body having an involuntary reaction to seeing her with someone you knew instead of a complete stranger like she normally was. He didn’t think anything of it. He didn’t want to think anything of it.

________________________

“You’re still at school? It’s four already,” Keelan’s voice fills your classroom from your phone speaker, the building empty except for the teachers still roaming around.

You sigh, putting down your pen, pushing aside your lesson plan book. “Yeah. It’s parent-teacher conferences tonight, so I’m just staying until those are over. There’s no point in me driving all the way home just to have to drive all the way back.”

“What are you doing for dinner?”

“Ya know,” you start, getting up from your desk to stretch your legs as if you weren’t on your feet all day, “Hadn’t thought about that. I’ll probably just throw together whatever is in the fridge when I get home.”

“Babe, that’s going to be almost nine, you can’t wait that long,” Keelan says, concern in his voice.

You shrug even though you knew he couldn’t see you. “It’s fine, I’m not that hungry anyway.”

“What time is the first conference?” he asks, extraneous noise coming from his end. It sounded like he was getting into his car, starting it up and driving off to whatever it was he had to do, even though you were sure he still had to be at work for another hour.

“Uh, 6, why?”

“Just wondering.” The two of you stay on the phone for a little while longer, talking about anything you felt like until he had to go for whatever reason.

You get back to filling out your plan book, looking through your one from last year and the hundreds of lesson plans you had on your computer, using the time for prep that you were supposed to get during the day, even if you were always called to cover another class or just had other things to do in general.

Someone knocks on your door, praying that you were right to call, “it’s open.”

“Delivery,” Keelan pokes his head in, holding up a bag of what you presumed was food based on the smell. “Still have some time to eat with me?”

“Keel!” you squeal, jumping up from your desk chair to greet him. You pull him into your room, grabbing some paper towels to clean off one of the lab benches quickly so you could eat, not a hundred percent trusting your students to clean up all the chemicals they could potentially spill on the table tops. “What’s this for”?

He starts unpacking the food, handing you a container with your favorite dish from Sabrina’s. “You didn’t sound like you were too sure you had food you could eat, and knowing you and Maddy, you’re probably on the end of food from your last shopping trip. Plus,” he says, leaning closer to you, “this way, I get to have dinner with my girl.” His lips connect to yours, quick and sweet so the two of you could get to eating.

For the first time, you were focused on just Keelan, Nolan not lingering in your thoughts. Keelan was the guy for you, you were sure of it. You were almost sure of it, at least, Fran’s words still swimming around in your mind. “Hey,” you start, finishing the bite of food you took, “Have you ever thought about our future?”

Keelan freezes, confused and probably caught off guard by the question. “Our future?” he repeats, “What do you mean?”

“Like, us. Are you going to be my boyfriend forever, or is anything going to happen?” you start, not sure how to put it otherwise.

He shrugs, focusing on his food. “I haven’t really thought about it.”

Your shoulders drop, wishing that his answer wasn’t the same as yours. “You’ve never thought about us getting married or having kids. Nothing?”

“I never thought of my life without you, but never explicitly thought of marriage, I guess?” You nod, not wanting to look at him in the moment. You had parents coming in less than twenty minutes at this point, wishing that you hadn’t asked him this question now. “Hey,” he says, reaching out and touching your hand. “When I think of the future, I think of you and I being happy together. We don’t need to be married to be that. Do we?”

“I don’t know. It wouldn’t hurt.”

“You want to get married?”

You open and close your mouth like a fish, realizing that Lindsey and Maddy pulling you away from Nolan at Howl was the right thing to do, because you still had no answer a few days later. Before you could tell him you didn’t know anything, Javier comes into your room, Anderson not far behind.

“Have you taught Electrochem yet?” Anderson’s voice booms for no reason, Javier somehow looking both annoyed and panicked at the same time.

“Yeah, last month. Have you taught Electrochem yet?”

“No,” Anderson says. “I thought we were doing it after gas laws.”

“We have never done it after gas laws,” you tell him, getting up from the lab table. “We do it with types of reactions because of half reactions and redox.”

Anderson starts going off about how all three of you are supposed to be on the same page, Javier and Keelan awkwardly just there in your room while you shuffle through your box of papers.

“Anderson, aren’t you the one who put the Galvanic Cell on the midterm? Is this why every single kid of yours got it wrong last year, because you teach it too late?” you say, handing him a packet while his face turns red, “Just take this, Javier and I made it a few years ago and it works.”

“We need to be on the same page from now on,” he tells you before storming out.

“How is it our fault that he doesn’t listen when we say this is what we’re teaching next?” Javier asks, sitting down next to Keelan, putting his face in his hands.

“At least we know why his students do shitty on that page of the midterm.”

“Anderson really is a jerk,” Keelan pipes in. “Didn’t he blame you for grading his students wrong on the midterm last year?” he asks. You had filled Keelan in on how you guys split up the grading since you all gave the same midterm; you had the first four pages, Javier the next four, and Anderson the next three. Anderson’s kids always did awful on the first eight pages, somehow redeeming themselves when he put the grades in.

You nod, the principal coming over the loudspeaker to alert the teachers that the parents were there. “I’ll see you tomorrow, maybe?” you tell Keelan, cleaning up in a hurry.

He says yes, kissing you goodbye and running out the door to go home, probably, Javier lingering behind for a moment. “You two ok?”

“How could you possibly think something was wrong,” you say, slightly sarcastic.

“I can read you like a book.”

“Yeah, well, I guess there should be a book club,” you groan. “Nolan says the same thing.”

“Tell me fast,” he says, both of you standing outside your doors to greet parents and try to direct them around the school in the event that they were lost, something that was very easy to do if you weren’t in the building every day.

“Fran said something about how Keel and I haven’t talked about our future together and we just talked about it,” you say, praying that the parents passing you by weren’t that focused on your conversation and instead were looking at the numbers on the doors.

“And what does that future look like?”

“The same as the present.”

“You could always go for Nolan,” he jokes, throwing his hands up in defense. “I’m kidding.” He leaves, one of his student’s parents showing up at his door.

You were waiting for Darren’s mom, Mrs. Alexander a few minutes late. “Ms. Y/L/N!” you hear someone yelling, a woman who looked just like Darren trying to sprint down the halls. “I’m sorry I’m late! I got lost!”

“Don’t worry about it,” you chuckle, the contrast between Darren’s shyness and his mother’s lack thereof somehow not surprising. “Come on in.”

The two of you sit at one of the lab benches, pulling out your notebook and pen. “Darren has made some great improvements this semester, this month especially,” you start, handing her a print out of his grades. “Grade-wise, he’s one of my top students. He’s smart, he knows what’s going on, I have no worry about how he’s going to do on the upcoming midterm.”

“That’s so good to hear,” she says, her finger running along the sheet that displayed A after A on it.

“And he’s talking with Sydney when we do labs, especially since we had some of the Flyers come in the class and work with them. Something Nolan Patrick did really stuck with him.”

She smiles, taking in a deep breath, “That would make this the only class he talks in.”

“Well, progress is progress. One class is better than none, talking with one classmate is better than no one.” She looks down at the paper, trying to force herself to be happy. “Mrs. Alexander. Darren is a great kid. He’s not the most talkative, but he’s getting there. I don’t want to force him to talk if it’s not something he’s comfortable with, but anything you want me to do, you know I’ll do it.”

“He likes to draw,” she says, starting to shuffle through her bag. “He loves talking about his drawings, too.”

“So do you think if I had him draw more in class, work that into my lessons for him, that he would be more open to talking?”

“He might. It’s worth a try if you can,” she say, slipping a piece of paper across the desk. It was a self portrait of him, your classroom in the background. Nolan was sitting next to him, doing the experiment from the other week. “He came home that day, went to his room, drew this, and then told me in detail about class. I’ve never seen him so excited about this before.”

You stare at the detail of the drawing in awe, from the dimples on Darren, the bubbles in the Erlenmeyer while it was heating, right down to Nolan’s rosy cheeks. “This is incredible.”

“He wanted me to have you give it to Nolan, if you could.”

The principal comes over the speakers again to have parents move to the next class they were going to, you now waiting for one of your CP student’s parents to arrive. “I will. Thank you, Mrs. Alexander”

Both of you get up from the table, walking over to the door. “No, thank you, Ms. Y/L/N.”

The rest of the parent-teacher conferences go by in a blur, you not focusing on anything other than the memory of Nolan and Darren working together. You did secretly love parent-teacher conferences, as late as they were, because it helped you get to know the student’s family background just a little bit more. A teacher is only good if they know their students, a student will only trust their teacher if they know them. You lived by that statement.

By the end of the night, you were exhausted, wanting nothing more than to change into a pair of sweats and curl up in bed until you passed out for the night. You were about to call Nolan to ask him if you could stop by for a minute to give him the picture Darren drew of him when Lindsey’s name popped up instead. “Hey, Linds, I’m driving home from school,” you preface as you start your car, “What’s up?”

“Mind if I stop by and hang out for a bit?” she asks, you hearing Fran yell something you couldn’t make out in the background.

“Sure. Maddy’s home, too, tonight, I think. So if I pass out, you’ll still have her unless she also passes out.”

You didn’t think anything of it, pulling up to your apartment as Lindsey did, too, Fran stepping out of the car and before you could.

“Hey,” you call to her, watching Fran run over to Nolan and Kevin’s door, a dress and heels on, her hair and makeup done perfectly. “Where’s she going?”

"Uh," Lindsey stammers, not sure what to tell you. "A date."

Before you can question it, Nolan opens the door, kissing Fran, taking her hand and leading her over to his car. You stood there, frozen, surprised that Fran had gone further than she did at Howl the other night, watching as Nolan and Fran drive away to go out on a date.

[rae-arts777]

because i'm a sucker for a fake dating AU, 7 & soudam? or kuzuhina? or any DR ship your heart desires babe

Kuzuhina cause I love you Bryn

(Btw this is NOT a short fic hahaha, I ended up writing 2288 words)

He’s My Boyfriend, Yeah That’s it..

#7 Fake dating

Summary: Fuyuhiko needs a plus one

“Why?” Hajime felt like the yakuza was pulling his leg.

Did Fuyuhiko seriously ask him to hang out? More importantly, did he just ask him on a date?

“Listen bastard this isn’t exactly an ideal for me either.” The shorter male growled, “I hate attending these family functions alone.”

“Why don’t you just go with your girlfriend?” Hajime asked

“PEKO IS NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!!” Fuyuhiko snapped, “I mean! Fuck! One she’s like my sister, we’re just close! Two she’s busy! I’m fucking proud she has her own plans rather then hovering over me! And I’m sure as hell not going to ruin that by asking her to come with me!” he explained

“Ok but why me? Aren’t you and Kaz really close?”

“Please that pink hair bastard won’t last a minute in a room full of yauzkas”

“Uhhhh….Nagito?”

“Is that a joke?”

Hajime sighed, guessing he really was Fuyuhiko’s most reliable option, “Ok fine, I guess it gives me an excuse to get out of the house.”

“Good, come on, we're going shopping.”

“I have a suit a home” Hajime protested

“No offense but I'm a hundred percent certain your suit is not suited for a yakuza gathering. Consider this as my thank you for dragging you to my shit family function.”

Before Hajime could protest further, Fuyuhiko grabbed his wrist and dragged him out. Despite the size difference, Fuyuhiko was surprisingly strong. Hajime sighed, he knew there was no point in protesting.

Hajime felt as if he tried on the whole store at this point. Every time he saw the price tag, he felt like he wanted to die. He felt a little bad for allowing Fuyuhiko to spend this much on him for a suit for a one time use.

Stepping out of the dressing room with the last outfit on, “Are we done yet?” Hajime groaned.

Fuyuhiko looked up from his phone and froze. Hajime for sure could pass for a common yakuza. Fuyuhiko cleared his throat and walked towards him.

“It’s missing something.” Fuyuhiko grabbed a red tie and applied it to the taller male.

Hajime felt tense with how close Fuyuhiko was. He watched as the shorter male took his time adjusting the tie.

“Umm..there..” Fuyuhiko turned him around to the mirror “You look good, better then nothing I guess.”

“Why do I feel like a sugar baby?” Hajime jokes.

“Oh shut the fuck up tall bastard.” Fuyuhiko handed his card to the retailer, “He’ll be wearing this out.”

“What are you going to wear?”

“I already have something picked out at home. I'll change when we get there.”

The retailer returned Fuyuhiko’s card, “Thank you for shopping with us.”

“Yeah thanks for the help.” He nodded, “Let’s go Hajime.” the yakuza walked out.

Hajime grabbed his bag and started to follow, but was stopped by the retailer.

“I just wanted to say, you and your boyfriend are super cute together.” She smiled.

“Boyfriend?” Hajime was taken back.

Did they seriously get mistaken for boyfriends? Did they act like boyfriends? Who else thought it? Should he correct her?

Hajime stared at the retailer who had a big smile on her face.

“....Thanks, yeah my boyfriend and I appreciate your help.”

“Shop with us again soon!” she waved him bye as he left.

Trying to catch up to Fuyuhiko, he felt his mind racing. Why didn’t she correct her? Why did it not bother him? Hajime shook his head. No, it was just easier to just say yes cause they have somewhere to be, no time to explain, yeah that’s it. Better she told Hajime and not Fuyuhiko.

The two arrived at the Kuzuryu manor. Fuyuhiko led Hajime inside, there were already a few guests.

“Just stay here.” Fuyuhiko sat him at a table, “I’ll be back in a second.”

Hajime looked around, it was hard to believe these were the people Fuyuhiko hung around with daily. Awkwardly he fidgeted with his hands, he was thirsty. There was a mini bar across the room, he just needed water. It wouldn’t hurt to get up for a few seconds for water.

Hajime made his way over the minibar. The bartender glanced at him and raised an eyebrow.

“Who are you with?”

“Oh I’m just here with Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu, I just wanted water.” Hajime explained.

The bartender sided with Hajime as he got the boy a glass of water.

“What are your relations to him?” Was this an interrogation?

Hajime hesitated “I’m...here as...his plus one…”

“A date?”

“Yes...date...he’s my...boy..friend.” Hajime drugged out. Shit he did it again.

“Boyfriend? Huh. Well guess you never know huh? Enjoy your evening.” The bartender turned to help another guest.

Hajime shuddered and took his water back to the table. Why did he say boyfriend? He could have just said friend. This was different from the store, the bartender will most likely tell Fuyuhiko something. Shit.

As Hajime’s mind was racing, he was pulled out from a tap on the shoulder.

“Hey.” Natsumi sat next to him.

“Oh, hey Natsumi '' Hajime sighed in relief, at least there was one more person there he knew.

“Did my dipshit brother drag you to this?” She asked.

“Well he needed a plus one, and I needed an excuse to get out of the house. So I sort of agreed to this.”

“I see, speaking of that asshole, where is he?”

“He said he needed to change real quick. I think he should be back soon.”

“Bastard! Leaving you here all alone! Sorry my brother dragged you on a sucky date. Come on, you’re coming with me.”

Before Hajime could protest, Natsumi was already dragging him away. How is it that he's been dragged by both Kuzuryu today?

Fuyuhiko returned to the table, dressed in a more fancy suit for the occasion. Real quick he noticed Hajime was gone.

“That fucking bastard!”

Fuyuhiko started to walk around looking for him. Deep down he was worried, he shouldn’t have left Hajime alone in a room full of people like this. God knows who he’s with. Scanning the room, Fuyuhiko’s eyes finally landed on Hajime, but his blood boiled.

Hajime is wrapped up in a group of Natsumi’s friends. A guy resting his hand on Hajime’s shoulder. It was clear the male was trying to flirt with Hajime.

Fuyuhiko stormed up to them, “Hey.” Just as the guy turned around, Fuyuhiko struck him in the jaw.

“Jesus Christ bro!” Natsumi yelled “Seriously?! Why are you attacking my friends?!”

“Well tell your fucking “friend” to keep his hands to himself!!” Fuyuhiko snapped.

Hajime flinched, shit he felt like this was a little bit of his fault.

“Why do you care so much?! Hajime is just trying to enjoy himself!”

“I care because-” wait, why did Fuyuhiko care so much? “Because…..” he grabbed Hajime’s arm and pulled him towards him “isn’t it obvious? I brought him as my date! Cause! We’re dating! Yeah! That’s it!” Fuyuhiko proclaimed, the heat rising on his cheeks.

Hajime felt his whole face turn red, did he hear him right? Natsumi looked between the two, studying both their faces.

“Oh. My bad bro I didn’t know!” She smirked at Hajime, “I’m surprised you didn’t mention you’re dating my brother.”

“Oh well...it’s..” hajime looked at Fuyuhiko “We just recently started dating!”

“Yeah!” Fuyuhiko chimed in, “We..started dating...this past week!”

“Yeah..uhhh, Fuyuhiko asked me out.” Hajime smirked a bit “I seriously never seen him so flushed, he was all so shy and nervous. Had a letter and everything. It was just so cute.”

“HUH?!” Fuyuhiko glared at him “I think you’re remembering things wrong! Yeah I asked you out but YOU were the one who was all shy! You guys should have seen him! The bastard was practically sobbing because he was so flustered.”

Natsumi smirked watching the two, “Please tell us more!”

“Yeah please do!” another person chimed in

“Where did he confess?”

“How long have you liked him?”

“Have you two gone on any dates yet?”

“So is he like your eye candy?”

“Wait, the boss likes men?”

Hajime and Fuyuhiko were bombarded with questions. The two looked at each other, well there was no turning back now.

The supposed yuzuka gathering turned into a hearing of Hajime and Fuyuhiko's love story, everyone was invested. The two tried to bounce off of each other’s stories, but also both tried to embarrass the other in some way.

“If I remembered correctly, you were the one staring at me in the locker rooms.” Hajime smirked

“Like hell I was! You’re one to talk! You’re not slick, you were practically drooling over me in there. Now that I think about it, you did tell Nagito that you liked me.” Fuyuhiko chuckled.

“Oh...well I do guess saying I like chihuahuas is the same thing.”

“THE FUCK YOU SAY?!”

The room busted out in laughter.

“Awww you two are just two cute.” Natsumi smiled, “I didn’t know bro was such a romantic!”

“Shut the fuck up you bitch.” Fuyuhiko growled.

Natsumi just smiled, “I have to say it was such an interesting story, but I think we’re all tired of hearing about your love life.”

Thank god, both of them sighed in relief.

“We want to see! So give us a kiss!”

“WHAT?!” Both of them yelled at her.

“Yeah, kiss him!”

“Kiss!”

“Come on!”

The whole room was chanting for them to kiss.

“I mean it’s natural for you two. YOU DID SAY your first kiss was in your classroom late at the end of a school day.” Natsumi snickered, “So is a simple kiss a problem?”

The two males looked at each other, feeling their cheeks turn red.

“Ok…” Hajime said

“No problem, no problem at all....” Fuyuhiko mumbled.

The two awkwardly faced each other. They fumbled with their hands not knowing where to place them. Fuyuhiko grumbled and rested his hand on Hajime’s waist. Awkwardly, Hajime draped his arms over Fuyuhiko’s shoulders. Hajime looked down at him, he never saw Fuyuhiko so nervous.

“Everyone is staring…” Hajime whispered.

“yeah...I know...can’t really turn back now..” Fuyhukio tried to avoid eye contact.

Hajime slowly leaded down, he felt Fuyuhiko’s grip tighten a bit around his waist. Testing the waters, Hajime brushed his lips against the yakuza, giving him one last chance to back out. Even though their lips were barely apart, the shorter one mumbled something the taller one could not pick up. Hajime was taken back when Fuyuhiko actually closed the gap.

Their lips felt awkward at first, smooshed against each other, but they worked with it. Hajime felt himself lean in deeper, as Fuyuhiko brought a hand up to cup Hajime’s cheek, trying to pull the taller male closer against him. The two almost forgot they were in a room filled with people watching him. Almost.

They quickly broke the kiss when they heard a flash of a camera. Fuyuhiko head shot around to see Natsumi holding her phone up with a shit eating grin.

“DELETE THAT!!!” Fuyuhiko screamed

“No thank you!” Natsumi ran off laughing.

Before he chased her, Fuyuhiko turned his attention to the crowd “WHAT?! You got what you wanted! Now fuck off!” He then ran off screaming at Natsumi to delete the picture.

The rest of the night is uneventful. Some people came up to congratulate Hajime and Fuyuhiko on their couple status.

Hajime could not stop thinking about the kiss though. He looked over at Fuyuhiko who was chatting with someone. It didn’t seem like the kiss was getting to him as much as it was to Hajime.

Hajime felt his heart tug a bit. He guessed the kiss did not mean much to Fuyuhiko. I mean why would it? They weren’t even dating. But also, what now? Were they going to stage some big breakup or something?

As the party ended, Fuyuhiko walked Hajime out to the car he had arranged to take Hajime home.

“So….that was something..” Fuyuhiko said.

“Yeah...sure it was..” Hajime looked down at his feet.

“Sorry..for forcing you into that silly narrivate.”

“Oh it’s nothing..I mean it was kind of fun...well I mean..I played along so yeah..” Hajime nervously chuckled.

“yeah ...yeah…”

“You know...funny enough, earlier that retail lady said you and I were cute..heh she thought we were boyfriends, and ummm, I didn’t correct her..” he explained.

“Is that so…?” Fuyuhiko said.

“Yeah...so haha. Anyways I guess we can stage a breakup or something like that.”

“Yeah we can..or we can do something else rather than lie again..”

Hajime looked up to meet Fuyuhiko’s gaze, the shorter male had taken a few steps closer.

“We can make those previous lies true..I mean like...the story about our first date. I honestly..umm fuck...I mean if the park and dinner is an good ideal for you as a..first date..” Fuyuhiko's gaze focused on Hajime’s tie.

Hajime felt his heart race, did Fuyuhiko just ask him on a date?

“I…” Hajime grabbed Fuyuhiko’s hand, the shorter male looking up to meet his gaze, “I would really enjoy that..”

Fuyuhiko blushed and nodded. He let go of Hajime’s hand and opened the car door for him.

“Text me when you get home.”

“Yeah I will.” Hajime got into the car.

“hajime ..”

“yeah ?”

Fuyuhiko grabbed his hand again, and kissed his palm “despite what happened, I..really enjoyed tonight.”

“Yeah me too,” Hajime smiled.

The two waved goodbye and Fuyuhiko closed the car door. He waited on the side of the crib until the car was out of sight. Fuyuhiko rubbed his face, mumbling, feeling his face become flushed again.

“Fuck.”

[favefandomimagines]

More Money, More Problems 2

Masterlist

Ever since that night at the golf course, Rafe had found more and more reasons to talk to Ella. 

Of course he wouldn’t do it out in the open in front of Topper or Kelce but he always found a way. 

One day Ella was helping a group of golfers on the hole next to Rafe’s group and he ‘accidentally’ left his pitching wedge on the ground. Giving him the best excuse to go over and talk to her. 

But his friends were starting to notice his sudden fascination with the Pogue. How his eyes would move to Ella whenever she was close by or how he wouldn’t partake in anyone talking bad about her. 

Then again the only person who talked bad about Ella was Poppy Miller. Poppy was a royal bitch and that was putting it lightly. She hung around Rafe and his friends because she was disgustingly into Rafe. Whereas Topper was head over heels for the bottle blonde Kook. 

Poppy never strayed from Figure 8, knowing the advantage Ella would have. Ella and Poppy used to be friends in elementary school. Having sleepovers, getting ice cream, making trips to Mainland with Poppy’s parents. Then they all got older and the Kooks vs. Pogues war as strong as ever. 

Poppy convinced Ella’s boyfriend Will to cheat on her just for the sake of hurting Ella and the fact that Poppy could. The two had been arch enemies ever since. 

__

Ella was reloading the golf cart at around 1:30 that afternoon after Ward Cameron and his business buddies drank the whole thing dry. Ella didn’t hate Ward but she didn’t like Ward. Sarah told all the stories about how her father treats Rafe and though Rafe himself was a bit of an asshole, no child should have to endure that from a parent. 

Rafe, Topper, Kelce and Poppy arrived at the golf course as Ella was doing her task and the oldest Kook snuck off without any of his friends noticing. 

“Hey, Green.” He greeted her. “Cameron, fancy seeing you here.” Ella replied. “Seems to be your new favorite hangout spot.” She added. “Gotta get better at my golf game. I’m very rough by the 16th hole.” He lied. “Hmm, okay.” Ella hummed a small smile on her face. 

“What are you doing after you get off?” Rafe asked. “Going home. Paying my bills.” She answered. “Do you maybe want to hang out?” He questioned. 

Ella stopped what she was doing and looked back up at Rafe. That had to be some sort of joke right? There was no way Rafe Cameron wanted to hang out with her. 

“You’re kidding right? Poppy put you up to this, didn’t she? She knows I’d kick her ass so she’s trying to humiliate me.” Ella replied. “What? No, I’m being serious.” Rafe said. “Can you blame me for questioning your motive to ask me out? I mean, just a few months ago you called me a good for nothing Pogue when I was helping Pope deliver groceries.” She told him. 

“Would you believe me if I said I had a change of heart?” Rafe asked. He could see it on her face that she was considering accepting the invitation to go out with him. 

But he couldn’t hear her answer when he was called over by his friends. “Rafe! Come on!” Poppy yelled. “I’ll be there in a second.” Rafe called back. “Now! Why are you talking to her anyways?” Poppy rebutted in disgust. “What club do you think would do the most damage to her face?” Ella asked rhetorically and rather loudly. 

Poppy clenched her jaw both out of fear and annoyance before she stomped away towards Topper. 

“I’ll see you around, Cameron. Duty calls.” Ella told him. She grabbed the materials she didn’t use and walked back to the main building. 

Rafe cursed himself for not being fast enough. And for Poppy having to insert herself into every conversation Rafe was in. He was well aware that she had some creepy crush on him but he never paid her any attention. 

He walked back to his group of friends, angry and frustrated. “Didn’t you ever learn not to interrupt a conversation that doesn’t include you?” He asked the blonde. “Are you actually mad? You were talking to a Pogue, a Pogue who happens to be the biggest bitch on the island by the way. I was saving you.” Poppy rebutted. 

“You’re completely clueless.” Rafe muttered as he grabbed his golf bag. 

—

Ella walked into her house and practically fell on the living room couch after a long day at work. But her peace was short live when she heard her brother running down the hall.

“Ella! Guess what Mr. Hayward said!” Tommy shouted. “What did he say?” She asked. “That I am his best employee ever!” Tommy answered.

The girl sat up and smiled at the young boy before pulling him onto her lap. “Well, since Mr. Hayward is always right, why don’t we celebrate you being the best employee ever?” She offered. “Fishing?” Tommy questioned.

“Fishing. I’m sure John B would let us borrow the boat. We still have a couple hours of sunlight left.” Ella said. “Yes!” Tommy cheered, running back to his room to get his stuff together.

Ella laughed lightly at the boy when a knock caused her groaned.

“JJ, I swear to god if you got yourself into another fight with Kie,” Ella started, opening the door. But the person on the other side of the door wasn’t JJ. “You’re not JJ.” She commented.

“Thank god for that.” Rafe muttered. Ella sent him a glare before leaning against the doorway. “What are you doing here?” She asked. “We never got to finish our conversation from earlier.” He answered. “You mean when you asked me out.” Ella said.

“Yeah, that conversation.” Rafe confirmed. “How about this, Cameron; Tommy and I are going fishing on the Pogue in a couple minutes. Come with us and prove to me that it’s not some stupid joke. Then I’ll consider going out with you.” Ella suggested.

Rafe smiled triumphantly as he nodded. “Yeah, let’s do it.” He said. “Great. I just gotta get changed and we can head out. You can wait inside.” She said.

Ella let Rafe inside the house and told to make himself at home while she changed clothes. 

Rafe looked around the house and examined everything. It was definitely smaller than his but he supposed that it was a good fit for Ella and her brother. He looked at the pictures on the wall and saw tons of Tommy’s milestones. 

Him catching his first fish, when he stood up on a surfboard. Tons of Tommy with JJ, John B, Pope and Kiara. Rafe decided that Ella surfing with Tommy was his favorite picture on the wall because of how genuinely happy she looked. 

Then he noticed the lack of a picture. The wallpaper where it used to hang was darker, almost brand new. A large contrast to the faded wallpaper around it. He wondered what picture used to hang there.

Rafe heard footsteps come down the hall but they were much lighter than Ella’s. 

“Are you friends with Ella?” He heard a small voice ask. Rafe turned around and saw Ella’s little brother standing across from him. “Uh yeah you could say that.” He answered. “Are you coming fishing with us?” Tommy questioned. “Yeah, is that okay?” Rafe replied. “Yeah, that’s okay. JJ hasn’t wanted to come with us in a while.” Tommy answered. 

“Well, I haven’t been fishing in a long time but I’ll help when I can.” Rafe told him. “Okay, kiddo. Did you get the sunscreen?” Ella asked, reappearing. Tommy groaned and Ella rolled her eyes. “Sunscreen. Go.” She told him. 

“Sorry if he said anything weird. He doesn’t have a filter sometimes.” She said. “It’s okay. He seems like a good kid.” Rafe replied. “Have a lot of pictures with the Pogues.” He commented. “Well they are my friends.” Ella replied with a small laugh. “Are you and JJ like...a thing?” Rafe asked, afraid of the answer he might get. 

Ella looked at him with slightly wide eyes before a laugh escaped her lips. “God, no. Me and JJ are like siblings. Besides, we have a no Pogue on Pogue macking rule.” She explained. 

“That is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.” Rafe laughed. “It keeps the friend group friendly and comfortable. It’s not our fault your friend group is like incest where everyone dates each other.” Ella said. “That’s not true.” Rafe rebutted. “Oh really? How many times has Kelce slept with Poppy?” She asked. 

“Four.” Rafe answered. “Okay and how many times have you slept with her?” She questioned. “I haven’t. She’s annoying and weirdly obsessed with me, and no amount of sex is worth that.” He replied. 

“Interesting.” Ella said. “Why is that interesting?” Rafe asked. “Because she seems like your type.” The girl answered. “And what’s my type since you seem to know so much.” Rafe teased.

Ella smiled for a moment before she answered. “Blonde, obsessed with you, has money and she’s a bitch.” She said. “Whether you want to believe it or not, that’s not my type.” Rafe told her. “And what is?” Ella asked.

“Dirty blonde hair, blue eyes, likes to surf, works at the golf course. Hates my guts most of the time except for when she invites me to go fishing.” He said.

Ella looked up at him, not sure if he was kidding or not. But she didn’t have to worry about finding an answer because Tommy came back into the room.

“I’m ready!” He said. “Great! Let’s get to John B’s and get the boat.” She told him. She gave Rafe one last fleeting and flustered look before she followed her brother out the door.

Rafe smirked happily to himself as he followed the two siblings.

They arrived at the Chateau and Ella was rather grateful that John B wasn’t home. Ella grabbed the keys to the boat and the three were off.

“You know how to drive a boat?” Rafe asked. “Duh. I live on the Cut, Rafe, I don’t have someone to drive my boat for me. Though most of the time it’s John B.” Ella answered.

“Guess I never realized just how different the two sides were.” He said. “I would say it’s not your fault but you do partake in the whole turf war thing we have going on.” Ella said.

Rafe swallowed the lump in his throat, the tone on the boat shifting. But Tommy didn’t seem to notice as he got his pole ready.

“I didn’t mean to offend you or anything.” Ella added. “No, you didn’t. I just realized you were right. And if I’m being honest, I don’t want to be that guy around you. I’m so worried about maintaining this stupid reputation I guess I never realized how much of an asshole I am.” He explained.

“Why me? Why not be that way around everyone?” Ella asked. “Because you’re the only person who I care how they see me.” He said.

“Ella, can you help me get my hook on?” Tommy asked his sister. “Yeah buddy let me just find a place to drop the anchor.” She said. “I can do it.” Rafe offered.

Tommy handed him the fishing line and Rafe tied the hook to the line securely. “Thanks Rafe!” Tommy replied.

Ella watched the interaction with the two and she didn’t know why she was feeling this way towards Rafe. She was supposed to hate him and he was supposed to hate her. So why were they actually enjoying spending time together?

For a few hours, Ella Green and Rafe Cameron weren’t the Pogue princess and the Kook king. They were just Ella and Rafe. They just got to be themselves without all the pressure to conform to who people wanted them to be.

Ella didn’t have had much pressure to conform than Rafe did. Ella was always her most authentic self but Rafe had to hide who he really was with a rather harsh facade.

He got to be himself around Ella without all the judgement and to him that was the most refreshing thing.

As Ella was driving the boat and Rafe was helping Tommy fish, the oldest boy spotted Topper’s boat just a few feet away from them.

“Shit.” Rafe muttered, ducking behind the seats to hide from his friend. Ella noticed and a part of her was a bit disappointed that Rafe was hiding.

But it was the world they lived in. “Hey, Green! Where are all your Pogue friends?” Topper called. “Can we not do this, Topper? I’m with my brother.” Ella asked. “Come on, I’m just messing around. Where’s Kiara? You two are usually attached at the hip.” Topper replied sending you a wink.

“It’s never joking around, Topper so just leave me the hell alone.” Ella snapped. Usually she would fight back, but Tommy was there. She always told Tommy to take the high rode and him growing up to be richer than the Kooks would be revenge enough.

Topper rolled his eyes before speeding off, causing the small HMS Pogue to rock back and forth.

“I’m sorry about him.” Rafe apologized, returning to a normal seated position. “It’s fine. I’m used to it.” Ella said. “I hate that guy.” Tommy commented.

Rafe and Ella laughed lightly at his words before Rafe replied. “Some days I can’t argue with that.” He said.

“Then why are you friends?” Tommy asked. Rafe fell silent, not really finding an answer to his question. “Stop with all the questions, you’ll annoy him.” Ella said. “I will not! You’ll annoy him before I do!” Tommy fired back.

“Hate to say it but he’s right.” Rafe joked. Ella rolled her eyes with a ghost of a smile on her face.

Soon after that, Ella was back at her house and Tommy ran inside to get ready for dinner. “Thanks for inviting me today. I had a lot of fun actually.” Rafe said. “Rafe Cameron had fun with a Pogue? Someone alert the press.” Ella replied.

“Ha ha very funny.” He said. “Oh and uh, yes by the way.” Ella said. “What?” Rafe asked. “Yes, I will go out with you. But preferably on the mainland. I don’t want you to abandon me halfway through dinner when your friends show up.” She explained.

Rafe gave her an incredulous look. Not really thinking she was going to say yes. “Wait, really?” He asked. “Don’t make me regret it, Cameron.” She said, writing her number on his hand.

“Text me the details.” She added before walking back inside. Rafe scoffed happily as he looked from the digits on his hand to the girl walking through the door.

He practically thrusted his fist in the air on the way back to his car. And he was determined to not make Ella regret saying yes.

taglist: @chicagoblackhawkslover96 @i-love-you-green

[tenthgrove]

Sorbet and Gelato x stressed reader. Like she is trying to work on something that is really hard, but Gelato being Gelato is being really annoying and childish, then she finally snaps at him, and they start arguing. Then sorbet comes in to see what's going on and the reader runs out the room crying. How do the ice cream duo fix that?

Do not, I Repeat, Ignore Gelato

Sorbet and Gelato x Reader, romantic, sfw

Gelato was definitely not bitching when he warned you how bad the workload for La Squadra di Ezecuzione would be. Killing is one thing, but it’s usually over fast. The long days of tracking and preparation take up far more of your time, and the pressure to succeed is intense.

You and your two boyfriends generally operate together, but as a relatively new member of the group it’s important you prove to Risotto that you’re fully capable of handling things without their help.

So here you are, getting ready for tomorrow’s hit all by yourself. The target is a difficult one, largely defensive but with a habit of moving around. You’ve spent the night relentlessly scanning your sources to make sure he’s still where you expect him to be, and the plan you scrupulously created is still going to work.

“Oh come on, don’t tell me you’re still at it,” you hear Gelato say behind you. You swivel on your chair to see him at the door, his face a mixture of concern and mild annoyance.

“Yes, Gelato,” you sigh with frustration. “I have to be dead certain I’ve accounted for everything. If I screw this up it will set my standing with Risotto back weeks.”

“Then you need to relax! A sleepless night won’t do you any good, so spend the rest of the evening with me!” Gelato offers, approaching you coolly. Even as you turn away, returning to your screen, he takes your shoulders and caresses them firmly. As good as his touch feels against your stressed muscles, you don’t have time for him now. You gently bat him away.

“Later okay? I need to get this done,” you tiredly insist. Gelato pauses and huffs, turning to leave.

“Fine, later.”

He’s back in the study within the hour.

“(Y/n), (y/n)” Gelato whines, tugging on your arm. “Enough of this, come see what I’ve done for you,” he pleads.

“Gel, what is it?” you mutter, hoping your disinterested tone will give him the hint to leave you be. It doesn’t, of course, and before you can protest further Gelato is practically lifting you up and leading you out of the room. “Gel, I don’t-”

“Come on, come on,” he interrupts you. “You’ll see.”

Gelato takes you upstairs and into the bedroom. What you see is a surprise, you’ll give him that. The sheets are freshly changed (something Gelato never does himself), and an array of movies are spread out on the duvet, along with an assorted selection of your favourite snacks.

“What do you think?” Gelato asks excitedly. “We can have a nice movie night, spoil ourselves on food, and Sorbet can join in when he comes home!”

“I- Gel- this is lovely of you, but I really don’t have time for this. Another night.”

Not wanting to see the disappointment in his face, you turn your back and walk away. He grabs your arm.

“(Y/n), don’t just- I did this for you!”

“I know, and it’s very nice of you,” your rebuke, harsher than you intended. “But this mission is important to me.”

You shake off his hand and march downstairs, cursing internally when you here his rapid footsteps stumble after you.

“Fine, you wanna get this done?” Gelato snaps, dropping down onto the other chair with crossed arms as you return to your desk. “I’ll stay right here. Then when you finish, you’re coming up with me,” he pouts.

“Gelato, you’re acting like a child,” you chide him, frantically resuming your work. “Get out, you’re distracting me.”

“I never treat you like this when I have work to do!” he retorts. You can tell he’s starting to get angry. Great, this is the last thing you need tonight.

“Yeah, that’s because you never do any work! Until it’s time to get your hands dirty you give everything to Sorbet!”

Silence. You regret your words at once. Peeking over, you see the hurt in Gelato’s eyes turn to rage.

“The fuck is wrong with you! Every time I go out of my way to make time for you, all you do is act like I’m some problem! Am I a problem to you?! Is that what this is?!”

“Gelato, ugh, why do you always have to make everything about you?!”

“I knew it!” Gelato asserts, that pain from earlier returning to his expression without lessening the anger. “You’re angry at me! I’ve done something and now you’re avoiding me!”

“Oh for fuck’s sake don’t get histrionic. You know that’s bullshit,” you snap.

“Then come upstairs!”

“No!”

“How hard is it to just give me your undivided focus for one evening?! You keep acting like you can get out of being with us just because you have work to do. You never make time for me like Sorbet does, and that’s why I’ll always be his-”

“I need to go!” you cut him off, pushing past him. You bury your face in your hands to try and stop the tears from falling, but they can’t be stopped. As Gelato dashes after you pleading his apologies, you slam the bathroom door in his face and lock it.

Sitting down on the edge of the tub, you break down crying.

“(Y/n), Bambina,” Gelato calls to you. You can hear him pushing against the locked door. “I’m sorry okay! I didn’t mean a word of it!”

“Just leave me alone,” you sob, defeated. Gelato mumbles something frantically and you hear his footsteps patter down the hall, leaving you in peace. You slink down onto the floor, bringing your knees up to your face. Alone, you cry for several minutes.

At some point, you hear a door open downstairs, a woosh of air coming in from outside. You hear murmured talking. Sorbet’s arrived.

As you hear his footsteps coming up the stairs towards you, you press your lips together, hiding your face in your legs. You’re ashamed of your outburst, and don’t want him seeing you like this.

“(Y/n), darling, could you open the door please?”

You have second thoughts now. His voice sounds so sweet and inviting. You can’t help but step towards the door. Your hand lingers over the lock.

“It’s okay sweetheart,” he calls to you.

Fuck it. You open the door and step forward, looking down shamefully at the floor.

“Oh, my darling, come here.”

Sorbet pulls you into a tight hug, resting your head against his shoulders. You want to protest and say you’ll ruin his shirt, but you can’t find the words. You just sob, and he hushes you.

“There, there. It’s okay, it’s all sorted now,” Sorbet promises. You sink tighter into his hold.

You peer over his shoulder and see Gelato at the other end of the hall. His head is hung down, but you can tell he’s been crying too.

“Caro, come here,” Sorbet beckons him. Gelato steps forward nervously and is pulled into the hug. He hics, swallowing tears.

“I- I’m sorry. It was horrible of me to say those things to you. I should have left you alone I – know you had work to do,” Gelato rambles. You pull him closer with your free arm, and nuzzle against the crook of his neck.

“I know, it’s okay,” you promise him. “I’m sorry too.”

The three of you hold each other close, feeling nothing but the warmth of each others’ bodies.

“Now darlings,” Sorbet tells you. “How about you both go to bed? (Y/n), I’ll take care of the rest of your work.”

“Are you sure? You don’t have to do that for me,” you check with him.

“It’s no issue to me. You need rest and Gelato wants to be with you. It’s okay to take care of yourself once in a while.”

“Okay,” you nod. “I’ll go.”

Gelato takes your hand and leads you back to the bedroom.

“Come on,” he tells you gently. “I’ll let you choose what to watch.”

[bbyboybrock--archived]

Happy New Year (Colby Brock Imagine)

Summary: *REQUEST* Can you do one where they are strangers and meet each other during a new years eve party and then end up kissing each other when the ball drops and make it super romantic (not in covid times) pretty please

Written: 2021

Word Count: 2,040

Warnings: Swearing, mention of being roofied, breakup

Masterlist

I sit in the uber, waiting for everyone to get out. Maybe they’ll be too excited about the party to realize that I went home. Maybe I should escape out the other door and disappear into the night. I didn’t even want to come out tonight in the first place. After the year I’ve had, going to an influencer party is the last place I want to attend. Unluckily for me, my best friends were tired of me staying in my apartment all day, every day, and refused to let me ring in the new year alone. Sadly, this meant that I had to go with them to a party because my apartment gave off “depression vibes” and that “wasn’t the move” for 2021. That’s the only thing that I agreed with them on, the vibe thing, not going to a party. 

After nearly a year of quarantine and processing a breakup, my place is a bit of a disaster. If it wasn’t for Janie ambushing me every day last week to help/force me to clean up, my apartment would still look like that cave where the grinch lives— minus Max. There were various alcohol bottles collecting dust on the counter. Not in a “she’s spiraling very rapidly” sort of way, but in a way that you could tell that I had a rough few weeks and the occasional wine night with the gals. There were boxes, mostly from March and April, that I still had yet to throw out after impose buying a bunch of stuff. My closet had turned into my bed because that was the only safe space that wasn’t cluttered with food packaging or tainted by memories that no longer bring me joy. I hadn’t properly seen my floor in months until we pulled back the layer of filth. I forgot that I had carpet. Still, after all that, I managed to make videos every week without fail.

“Y/N, c’mon, you’re not escaping this time. Let’s go so you can forget that asshole and that backstabbing bitch.” Persephone begs as she pulls me out of the car. Once out of the car, she adjusts her long, dark brown curls and smooths out her dress before reconnecting to her boyfriend’s hip. They both match with their gold and black outfits. All of my friends and their significant others match. Ophelia and her girlfriend are wearing silver and blue while Janie and her boyfriend are wearing maroon and gold. They all look like gods and goddesses and here I am wearing green and sliver on my own. Could I be anymore single?

“I’m not going to do it, I was just thinking about it. Don’t worry. I have to get footage for the vlog anyway. Gotta prove that I did something other than stay home this year. My fans are getting concerned.” I pull out my camera and get a few clips of everyone.

“Might as well get some pictures then so people will believe you.”1 Ophelia winks before grabbing me and leading us to what I’m assuming is the designated photo spot. There’s even a line. This is going to be one of those nights.

****

“Aw, fuck…” I mutter to myself as my drink gets knocked out of my hand. This house isn’t big enough for the number of people that were invited. 

“I am so sorry! Here, let me help you.” The guy who bumped into me extends his hand for me to grab. I’m sober enough to know not to take completely random strangers' hands at parties, especially in LA, but I’m also drunk enough to not care. He looks nice enough and I can spot Ophelia and her girlfriend Zoe keeping an eye on me from the corner of the room. I guess everyone is taking turns to make sure I don’t bail.

Against better judgment, I take this beautiful stranger’s hand and let him guide me out of the house to the backyard. It’s less crowded out here, maybe because there are more activities to do inside. Out here, I can actually breathe even though people are smoking and vaping out here. The music is quieter. The music is still loud, but like it would burst your eardrum like the music inside. I get a better look at the guy who brought me out here. He’s not bad looking, and I really hope that’s not the alcohol talking. He has the most relaxing blue eyes I’ve ever seen on a guy. His hair is dark brown with a bit of, I think, purple in the front. He looks as threatening as a pug, but looks can be deceiving.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t get any on you did I?” He asks as he scans my body, not in a creepy way. Which is a nice change of pace.

“My feet but they’re just shoes so I don’t care. I call these my going out shoes, they’re made for moments like this so you’re all good. I’m Y/N by the way.” I stick my hand out for him to shake. He looks at it puzzled for a second before it registers and he grabs my hand and gives it a firm shake. 

“Right— I spilled your drink on you and basically kidnapped you from the party and you don’t even know my name. It’s Colby, Colby Brock.” Colby shakes my hand a little too long before quickly pulling it away.

“I’m Y/N, you can get the last name later,” I bite my bottom lip, close my eyes, and mentally slap my head. “That was lame, wasn’t it?”

“It’s fine. It’s a thousand times better than anything I would have come up with. Just blame it on the alcohol.”

We both laugh before Colby singles that he’ll be right back. I watch as Colby disappears a small group of people. I take off my shoes and walk to the pool, dipping my feet in as I sit. The cool night air is soothing me. It’s a nice change from the stale scent of my apartment and the sweaty bodies inside the party. I look up to the night sky. The light pollution makes it impossible to see what stars and constellations are above us. Whatever I’m staring at right now feels peaceful, like they are aligned or not in retrograde. I have no idea what any of that means, but I do know that I’ve been around Ophelia too much.

Colby taps my shoulder when he gets back. He kicks off his shoes and socks before joining me in the pool, not even rolling up his pant legs. He’s going to regret that in a few hours. He hands me an unopened can of Truly. I take it from him and open it myself. At least I know he’s not a creep. He opens a can of White Claw and sips it before breaking the silence.

“I have to be honest, Y/N.” Colby looks forward, taking another sip.

“Oh no, what is it?” I ask nervously.

“The real reason I dropped your drink is because I saw some asshole slip something in your drink.” Colby finally looks at me and I can tell he’s serious.

“Wait…what? Someone tried to… Any you thought the best was to inform me was to spill my drink all over me?” I’m more taken aback by the idea of me almost getting roofied than anything. That would have been the perfect way to end this shit storm of a year.

“In hindsight, I planned to spill your drink. I didn’t mean to get any on you. I’m not a hundred percent sober right now so that was the downside of my plan. Don’t worry about the guy, my friend Corey went after him.”

“Wow— Uh, thank you. I mean it. I don’t think I could have dealt with… that on top of everything else I had to handle this year.” I take a sip of my drink and swing my legs in the water. 

“Do you want to talk about it? I’m not big on talking about serious stuff with strangers, so I’ll understand if you don’t want to. However, we’re both getting hammered, if we aren’t already, so the likely hood of us even remembering this conversation tomorrow let alone who we are slim. So if you need to vent, vent.”

I weigh the pros and cons of actually venting everything to this beautiful stranger. Maybe it’s the alcohol talking, but I decided to say fuck it. The year is almost over anyway, might as well get rid of this baggage and start the year fresh.

“Long story short: after months of quarantining together Axl, my boyfriend of 10 years, cheated on me. The entire time we were in quarantine. With my younger sister, who I let quarantine with us so she wouldn’t be alone and not have to fly back home to be with our parents. And to top it all off, I found out about it on my birthday when I walked in on them fucking each other on my bed.” I take a larger sip of my drink before leaning back and staring back at the virtually starless sky.

“Holy fucking shit,” Colby leans back to join me in looking at the sky.

“Yup! We met in preschool and started dating when we were 13. She’s four years younger than us to that’s annoying.” 

“Not to be that guy, but I don’t know what you expected when you started dating a guy named Axl.”

“… You’re right, that is a pretty douchey name. I literally ignored the biggest red flag in my entire life.”

Colby and I laugh again until it fades. I don’t think I’ve laughed this much, like actually laughed, in months. It feels good. Inside the house, the crowd starts counting down from 15. Colby must have heard it too because I watch him turn his head from the corner of my eye. I turn my head to face him. He really does have beautiful eyes. Like the ocean.

“This may be a dumb idea and I know we don’t know each other, but do you want to be my new years kiss?”

“I may regret this in the future, but what the hell.” We both sit up and adjust our clothes.

It might be risky to just kiss a random stranger at midnight, but who cares. We’re most likely not going to be in each other’s lives after tonight anyway. But by God, I could do much worse than kissing Colby. Unless I’m very drunk and the drunk goggles are seriously fucking with me. It’s not like I’m going home with him, my friends won’t let that happen. Maybe after this party, we’ll go our separate ways and never see each other again. Maybe we’ll run into each other in a random store in LA or at some creator convention.

The drunken yells of party-goers inch closer and closer to midnight.

“Three,” Colby whispers, moving his hair out of his face.

“Two,” I take one more small sip before finally setting my drink down. Colby does the same. My heart is beating a loud, steady rhythm in my chest like it’s about to burst.

“One,” We whisper at the same time before slowly leaning in.

As our lips touch, it felt like time had stopped. The beating intense beating in my heart only intensifies the longer our lips stay pressed together. One of Colby’s hands finds my face why the other reaches for my thigh, but I can only focus on how soft his lips are. My stomach starts forming knots as he tries to deepen the kiss. I don’t know if it’s everything I drank tonight coursing through my veins or the fact that I haven’t been kissed in months, but I slightly part my lips. The mixture of Colby’s scent and his body heat wash over me like they’re intoxicating my senses. The kiss ends just as suddenly as it started. We both pull away and just stare at each other in awe.

“L/N,” I breathe, fixing my hair.

“What?” Colby takes another sip of his drink.

“My last name is L/N.”  

[worldwidemochiguy]

Love You A Latte (MFEEU! Jimin)

��� You have always wanted a story book romance, no matter how many times your friends tell you it’s unrealistic, and even unhealthy to have such high expectations. You can’t help but yearn for the one who will make your heart sing, who will captivate you with one word, who will treat you like you’re worth more than anything else in the world... and then Park Jimin crashes into your life, with a pretty smile and a warm cup of vanilla latte with your name on it. 

➵ Warnings: Yandere Jimin, Stalking, Daddy Kink, Masturbation, Unhealthy Idealisation of Romance 

➵ Word Count: 9.1K

➵ MFEEU Masterlist

➵ General Masterlist 

➵ a/n: it’s finally here!!! and i made it part of the mfeeu!!!! idk it just felt right also i actually finished this a few weeks ago but i wanted to add a bonus scene which had smut lol. buuut i was finding it hard to write and i didn’t want to make u guys wait any longer :/ so,,, sorry for the wait! but i hope you enjoy :D

“You do realise that kind of stuff isn’t real, right?”

Your head jerked up, fingers curling slightly around the dog-eared page you were just about to turn, leading you deeper into the intoxicatingly perfect story. Your friend looked almost concerned, worry digging a groove in between her eyebrows.

“Huh?” You replied absently, mind still fixed on the story beneath your fingertips.

“I mean, you’re always reading those books, where a perfect guy comes and steals the girl away into a world of love and happiness and all that crap. You know that won’t actually happen to you, right?”

“…Uh, yeah?” You laughed nervously, one hand releasing the book to come up and brush your hair out of your eyes. “Any particular reason why you’re saying this, Buttercup?”

Buttercup’s expression was pinched, almost painfully so.

“I just… I don’t want you to waste your life away waiting for a guy who’ll never come.”

‘I know.” You said, your throat uncomfortably dry, “I know. It’s just… it’s nice to imagine, right?”

Watching you was the most treasured part of Jimin’s day. Thanks to the multiple cameras he had installed in your apartment while you were out of town, he was able to spend many happy hours watching you, completely besotted.

If he ever missed you, maybe while you were in your classes or meeting with your friends in that ridiculous coffee shop — a practice he planned to stop as soon as he officially became your boyfriend — he could just open his laptop and watch endless saved recordings of you. He even had the cameras linked to his computer at work, though he had to make sure Jungkook wouldn’t peak over his shoulder as he opened the webcam viewer, the nosy little brat.

If he was lucky, you might have danced around to the music on the radio while you were waiting for the kettle to boil, or you would be on your couch, giggling as you read one of those romance novels you were so fond of. Little things. Domestic things, which made it easy to image the day when you would dance around in his apartment, safe and happy in his embrace.

Jimin was thankful you didn’t spend much time in the bathroom. He had refrained from placing cameras in that room because he wanted the first time he saw your beautiful body to be a conscious choice on your part. He would also do his best to avert his eyes whenever you got changed in your bedroom.

However, that didn’t stop him from shamefully imaging you in the privacy of his own penthouse apartment, when the nights became long and lonely without you, or any other human company. More often than he would like to admit, Jimin found himself fantasising about how tight you’d feel clenched around him, how sweet your release would taste on his tongue.

Though the two of you had never actually spoken, Jimin knew everything about you, from your favourite colour to the way you had your eggs in the morning. From a little extra research, made easy by your friends’ various social medias and the occasional overworked college administrator that was sweet-talked into giving out students’ personal information, he knew your birthday, your blood type, and many other precious facts that he wrote down in a diary personally devoted to you, containing his photos of you taken from afar and and Jimin’s records of what you did that day. He had filled up several diaries after having first laid eyes on you only a year ago.

The moment Jimin saw you for the first time was forever burned into his memory. He was waiting in front of the office building, checking his briefcase to make sure he had remembered to bring an important file in for that day’s meeting, when the shopping bag of a passerby had broken, spilling all of their belongings onto the ground.

Jimin had merely watched, unperturbed, as the stranger struggled to pick everything up, and it appeared everyone else was content to do the same. Well, everyone except you.

You descended like an angel from heaven, the only one to help him. Jimin could barely feel his heart pounding in his chest, he was so enraptured by your beauty, your kindness, the grace with which you held yourself. Even your scent, wafted over to him by a blessed breeze, was enough to make Jimin realise that you were the one for him.

The only one there could ever be.

Jimin had listened, captivated, as you comforted the stranger with your melodic voice, all the while helping them to collect their possessions which had spilled out across the sidewalk. You were just- ethereal, as you comforted the stranger — they seemed to be having a bad day, not that Jimin cared at all — introducing yourself as a friend. Your name was the most beautiful thing Jimin had ever heard.

Jimin repeated that name over and over again in his head, and with little difficulty he located you and immersed himself in your life. He had to make sure that when he ‘met’ you, he would not be like that bumbling stranger, too weak to even reply to your kind words. He needed you to realise immediately that he was the one for you, your soulmate, as you were his.

Jimin grinned as his laptop started up again, finally fully charged up. When he woke he discovered that the battery had died as he had it playing all night while he slept. Jimin loved linking it to the live stream while you were asleep and then listening to your cute mumbles and sleepy groans, imagining that you were lying beside him, safely wrapped in his arms.

Usually, he would remember to plug it in so that it wouldn’t run out of charge, but Jimin had been a little distracted that night after you released some… strange noises in your sleep, noises that sounded like moans. Jimin was glad you didn’t say a name — he really didn’t have time to murder someone, what with all the workload on his hands — though your moans slightly tarnished his innocent vision of you.

Jimin knew you were undefiled, a fact that brought him great delight and daily erections. He knew this because during that dark period several months ago when you had that despicable ‘boyfriend’ hanging around you, a constant source of contention between you and him was the fact that you wouldn’t let the bastard touch you.

After he drunkenly attempted to pressure you into making out with him on your couch — a proposal you strongly rejected much to Jimin’s delight — the drunk asshole had left you, sobbing into your hands, to ‘get his dick wet’ elsewhere.

It really was too easy for Jimin to follow him out that evening. To knock him unconscious and then drag him into his rundown car. To place his heavy leg on the accelerator and let it speed into a tree, and watch him regain consciousness a second before the car collided and a branch fell through the windshield, stabbing him in the chest.

Jimin watched it all, and smiled, knowing you were safe from that monstrous son of a bitch. You were safe from everyone, as long as he was there to protect you. Not that you knew it yet, of course.

The cops ruled it as an accident caused by drunk driving, a verdict supported by your testimony of his behaviour earlier that night and his general reputation as an irresponsible party-goer. How that scumbag ever got you to go out with him was beyond Jimin, especially given all the work Jimin was putting in to even be worthy of your attention.

But it didn’t matter. After the death of your boyfriend, Jimin watched as you became happier, rising out of the depression that asshole had put you in. Though, to his consternation, you were spending more time with other people, even widening your previously small friendship group, it was worth it given that he was able to see your bright, joyful smile all the more often.

Jimin let out a groan of frustration as the livestream continued to take its sweet time loading. Thankfully, he had a day off today so he didn’t have to worry about being late to work, not that Taehyung was particularly strict about that sort of thing.

It was now 10 in the morning, a Saturday, so according to the rough schedule Jimin had worked out, scrawled on the inside cover of his diary and imprinted into his brain, you should be just starting to wake up. You were a bit of a late riser, but that just made Jimin love you all the more, imagining lazy mornings filled with kisses and pillow fights that devolved into indulgent morning sex.

An excited grin spread across his face when the picture finally cleared and he got to see your beautiful face. The grin dimmed slightly when he saw you were just putting the finishing touches to your outfit, seemingly leaving your apartment to go somewhere. Jimin scowled.

Who did you have to meet that was so important you would wake up specially to see them? He hurriedly got dressed, eyes still pinned on the live feed which made putting on his trousers a tad more difficult than usual.

Thankfully, he was able to be out of the door more or less the same time you were. He followed the now well-trodden route of shortcuts and back alleys that led to your apartment. Or rather, the road across from your apartment.

Jimin followed a block behind you, baseball cap pulled low over his face so you didn’t recognise him, watching as you strolled along the avenues, smiling to himself whenever you saw a pile of autumn-tinted leaves and jumped into them, creating a cacophony of crackles which made you giggle cutely. He almost regretted not bringing his camera to capture these adorable moments, but he knew it would look strange to the other pedestrians if they saw him following behind you taking photos.

Jimin finally realised where you were headed with a bittersweet smile. The coffee shop you loved, The Roasted Bean, which you frequented with your friends. He was hesitant to go in there, worried that your friends, stupid though they were, would notice his constant presence and poison you against him.

He couldn’t resist strolling up to the window, though. Watching as your face brightened when you saw your friends (who had already ordered without you, the ungrateful swine). He imagined a similar look appearing on your face whenever you saw him — except happier, because obviously you would be more excited to see your boyfriend rather than your friends. Maybe when he was coming home from work to greet you in your and his’ shared apartment.

A handwritten note stuck to the window distracted him from his reverence, something which originally irritated him but what he soon realised was in fact a blessing. The ‘help wanted’ sign, proclaiming that the shop needed a new barista, and that they didn’t mind if the applicant had no previous experience, was all Jimin needed to situate himself in your life.

After all, if he started working at the cursed coffee shop, he would get to see you every day when you visited in the mornings, and after that Jimin was sure it wouldn’t take long to make you fall in love with him.

Of course, if Jimin wanted to get the job at the coffee shop, he would have to do something about his proper, full-time job.

“Uh, Taehyung?”

Two heads popped up as Jimin knocked on the office door. They must have been having a meeting. Fuck, Jimin really didn’t want to have this conversation with Jungkook as a witness, but it seemed he had no choice as Taehyung waved him in and Jungkook showed no sign of getting up. On the contrary, he settled into the office chair and looked for all the world as if he wanted a bag of popcorn to snack on while he watched the conversation.

“What’s up?” Taehyung asked, and Jimin felt a slight lick of heat paint itself across his cheeks. He cleared his throat and pointedly ignored Jungkook’s snort.

“I want to cash in my vacation days.”

“Oh, really?” Taehyung’s brows flick up, “It’s… September. Shouldn’t you save them for… I don’t know, summer?”

“No, I want to use them now.” Jimin asserted, and Taehyung gave a puzzled little frown, before shrugging.

“Okay, well, there’s a a form you’ll have to fill in. How long are you thinking, a week? Two?”

“About two months, I think.” Jimin said, less confident than he would have liked, and Taehyung’s jaw dropped.

“Two months? Why on earth do you want to take two months off all of a sudden?” Taehyung asked incredulously, before his expression sobered abruptly. “Is there something wrong with your health?”

“No, no, it’s nothing like that, Taehyung-ah, don’t worry.” Jimin assured his friend quickly, “I just… want to pursue something else for a while, that’s all.”

“Want to pursue someone else, you mean.” Jungkook cackled, obviously casting off his role as a spectator, and Jimin fought to keep his expression unmoved. “You’ve been bright red ever since you stepped into this office.”

“It’s… warm.” Jimin muttered, and he wasn’t wrong, his cheeks certainly were warm at that point.

“It’s September, Jiminie,” Jungkook laughed, “and you’ve got a crush!”

“Is it true, Jimin-ah?” Taehyung asked delightedly, “You’ve found someone?”

“That’s hyung to you, brat.” Jimin snarled at Jungkook, ignoring Taehyung’s coos and his shouts to his girlfriend to come into the office. Jungkook stuck his tongue out at Jimin.

“Wow, look, hyung’s blushing.” Jungkook announced, before walking over to the office door and swinging it open. “Hey, everyone, get in here, look how red hyung’s cheeks are! Hyung looks like a strawberry!” Jungkook turned back to Jimin triumphantly as the rest of the boys came to the office to see what all the commotion was about. He gave Jimin a saccharine smile. “Is that better, hyung?”

“Respect your elders, kid.” Yoongi drawled as he reached the office, the rest of the floor in two. “Anyway, what the fuck is happening?”

“Yeah, why did you call me here, Taetae?” Taehyung’s girlfriend asked, who had come in from her section of the office and been promptly tugged onto Taehyung’s lap. He merely stared up at her, utterly besotted. Fuck, is that what Jimin would look like with you? Gross.

“No reason, I just missed you.” Taehyung smiled dopily at her, and she giggled, pressing a quick peck on his cheek and actually, Jimin would murder every single person in this room if you looked at him like that. Maybe affection isn’t so gross, as long as you’re involved.

But then Jungkook crowed, “Jiminie’s in love!” And affection very quickly became intolerable again.

“Shut up.” He snarled as they all begin laughing and cooing at him jokingly, “I’m just going to be leaving the office for a while.”

“What, so you can take a job at her favourite coffee shop and write love notes on her napkins?” Jungkook laughed, and Jimin-

Jimin looked at his shoes and used the age-old logic of if I can’t see them, they can’t see me.

“No-” Hoseok gasped, equally shocked and gleeful, but Jin interrupted him.

“Jimin,” He said calmly, and Jimin could just imagine his lips twitching up and down as he desperately tried not to break into peals of windshield-wipe laughter, “Look me in the eye and tell me you aren’t going to get a job as a barista as an attempt to get a girl.”

“He can’t look you in the eye, he’s too short.” Jungkook whispered, and Jimin generously refrained from hissing at him.

“I-” Jimin stuttered as he looked up and deep into Seokjin’s pitiless eyes, “I’m not-” He started to say, but… honestly no one can lie while looking at Kim Seokjin.

“She’s so cute!” Jimin bursted out, and immediately there was chaos. Several people were yelling. Hoseok somehow produced a bottle of champagne which he must’ve just been, like, carrying around with him, but Jimin simply did not care anymore.

“She’s so fucking cute all the fucking time and she goes to this coffee shop so fucking often, so if I become a barista there then I’ll see her every day! Do you understand?” Jimin asked, before shaking Jungkook — who had risen from his seat in celebration — frantically by the collar. “Every single day, Jungkook!”

“He’s worse than Taehyung!” Jungkook shouted gleefully, and Taehyung — who was still sat on his chair with his girlfriend — frowned.

“I- don’t know if I should be offended or not.”

“You should always be offended when it comes to Jungkook.” Namjoon told him sagely, and Jimin yelled a wordless noise of agreement.

His yell seemed to remind Taehyung of why Jimin came into his office in the first place, and he starts rifling through his desk, having to shift his girlfriend off his lap slightly to do so.

“Here, Jimin- sorry baby, this’ll just take a second — here’s the file for the vacation days.”

Taehyung passed Jimin a sheet of paper, having to lean around Hoseok, who had just started a conga — where the fuck was that music coming from? Who the fuck brought speakers to an office? — to give it to him. “Take as much time as you need.”

“Thanks, Taehyung-ah.” Jimin grinned as he left the office, pausing half-way out the door as he heard Taehyung call his name. He turned around to see his friend grinning at him.

“Good luck, Jimin. I hope it goes well.”

So do I, Jimin thought as he left the building, calling a taxi to take him to his next job, and (hopefully) closer to you.

You sighed as your alarm went off, jolting you from your dream. It was another romantic one — what a surprise, your friends would probably mutter sarcastically — but it truly hurt your heart to let it drift as your mind fully woke up. That was always the way. Real life coming to interrupt what you dreamed your life could be.

Another sigh escaped your lips as you imagined him. The one who starred in all your dog-eared romance novels, who would sweep you of your feet and take care of you, both in the bedroom and out of it.

In your head, you knew that you should probably want to be self-reliant and independent, values that your family and friends and teachers tried to drill into you, but you couldn’t help creating day dreams of a man whom you could trust enough to let yourself be truly submissive to him, to allow him to make all of the difficult decisions and comfort you when you got upset.

You used to be certain you would find him, your soulmate who would do anything for you, who would be endeared instead of weirded out by your odd quirks, who would love you no matter what happened, but to be honest you were starting to lose hope. With the disaster of your first ever relationship — the one that ended abruptly with his death — you vowed to stay away from boys until you found the one.

This inevitably led to you spending more time indoors and refusing whenever your friends wanted you to join them in going to all the hottest clubs, simply because you were tired of the whole thing. By now, you had pretty much accepted that you would die a spinster surrounded by fourteen cats.

Your alarm blared again, somehow more grating and obtrusive than the first time, and your eyes flicked to the analog display, swearing quietly when you saw the time. You stumbled out of bed, internally cursing the day you decided to sign up to an early morning lecture class, a bizarre decision considering you were so much not a morning person that you gave Garfield a run for his money.

Speed-walking to class, you were thankfully ahead of schedule since you managed to get dressed at the speed of light, forgoing any kind of beauty routine beyond jamming a toothbrush in your mouth and scrubbing frantically. By a rare stroke of luck, this class was quite small so not many people would bear witness to the horror that was bare-faced you with partial bed-head.

Since you, surprisingly, had more than enough time, you decided to pop into your favourite coffee shop. The familiar tinkling bell went off as you entered but, instead of greeting your favourite barista Rosa at the counter with a sunny smile and your usual order already prepared, you came face to face with the most beautiful man you had ever seen in your life.

You locked eyes with him and watched, awestruck, as his full, pillow lips tugged up into a smile, exposing his perfect teeth. His eyes almost disappeared as he grinned, turning into twin crescents above mochi cheeks, so soft and adorable that you felt all the thoughts you ever had fly out of your head, all replaced by one overwhelming sense of… something.

Something strange, that you had never felt before, which made your knees weaken imperceptibly as you made your way to the counter, closer to this Adonis in human form.

He obviously noted your flustered state, which only intensified your embarrassment, and his adorable expression melted into a smirk that had your heart racing and your libido awakening with a vengeance. It was just unfair. The barista somehow managed to be cuter than any puppy you had ever seen in your goddamn life, and then turn you on more than you thought was physically possible.

If this was what a sexual awakening was, you didn’t know how people managed to refrain from having sex all day, every day. And then you were struck with the image of having sex all day, every day, with the Greek God of a barista, and decided there was not enough holy water in the entire world to cleanse you from your sins.

“Hello,” the absurdly attractive barista said, after several minutes of you wordlessly floundering in equal parts of embarrassment and arousal.

“My name is Jimin. What would you like me to make you?” I’d like you to make me come, your traitorous mind suggested, causing even more heat to rise to your cheeks.

“H-Hello… Jimin.” you stuttered, praying for the sweet release of death. The Adonis- Jimin - watched you expectantly, gaze fluttering from your eyes — wide as a deer’s caught in the headlights — to your cheeks — probably so red they had surpassed the visible spectrum and were now emitting radiation — and he chuckled. You wanted to cry. Of course he’d be one of those people with low, sultry chuckles.

“Do you want to tell me your order, Princess?” He questioned, when it became clear you were more focused on not melting into a puddle than telling him what drink you wanted, and you became certain you had died and gone to hell. This was torture, having this perfect specimen of humanity in front of you, having him call you ‘Princess’ with his bedroom eyes dark and mischievous, and choking on your own tongue.

His eyebrow quirked — and of course his eyebrows were just fucking perfectly shaped — and you somehow managed to pull yourself together enough to remember the order you had given every damn day of your life since discovering this godforsaken place, the place you would never come back to due to a mixture of shame and self-preservation (there was a real possibility you might just die if you ever saw Jimin again).

“V-Vanilla latte… please.” You practically whimpered, too distracted with your own internal chaos to notice him cooing over your choice quietly.

“A cute drink for a cute girl.” He smirked again before striding to the espresso machine to fulfil your order, leaving you shocked on the other side of the counter. He called you cute. Cute.

You had never been more aware of your makeup-free face and unbrushed hair, quickly swept up into a messy bun. Fuck, you could've had dried up drool on the corner of your mouth and you wouldn’t have even known it. He returned with your order just in time to catch you running your tongue over your bottom lip, the pink muscle darting out just in case you had missed any on the side of your face.

If you hadn’t been so focused on your own appearance, you would have noticed Jimin falter for a second, his eyes widening, fixed on your mouth.

You caught his attention and sealed your lips together firmly, determined to not let him think you were some weirdo who licked her lips excessively in public. His dark gaze made your mouth go dry. You tried to subtly swallow down the lump in your throat, but his eyes tracked the bob under your skin.

The two of you stood in an oddly charged silence for a moment before he remembered himself and handed over your latte.

Your skin brushed his and you held your breath, his hand pausing over yours for what felt like an eternity, but it was still too soon when you forced yourself to pull back. He smiled again, the adorable mochi-cheeked smile that still managed to turn you on despite its sweet and innocent appearance.

“There you go, Y/n.”

You were so flustered by the sound of his pillow lips curving sensuously over the syllables of your name that you didn’t even question how he knew it, content to stumble backwards out of the shop. You were still caught in his gaze until you backed straight into the door, knocking you out of your stupor and causing you to practically fly out of the shop, his warm laughter chasing you up the street.

You barely heard a thing during the lecture, your pen had dried out after you uncapped it and then did not replace the cap for a solid forty minutes, letting it rest on your blank notepad. The professor had given up calling on you and asking you to pay attention, drawing the conclusion that this was an off-day for his normally-attentive student. You were actually very focused at that moment, it was simply just not directed at the professor.

You were pouring over your memories of Jimin, recounting with perfect clarity how his soft-looking hair fell over his forehead perfectly. It looked so pretty and you would sell your soul for a chance to run your fingers through it. The corners of his perfect lips tugged upwards into a smile a million times in your imagination, and you wondered what it would feel like to be kissed by those lips, to have those lips running all over your body, dipping downwards and tasting-

The professor signalling the end of the class could not have come at a better time, and you rushed out of your seat as fast as your shaky legs could carry you, the heat coiling in your belly tugging you home. You spared a moment to thank past-you for not scheduling any other classes today, because, judging by the slight damp spot in your panties that was growing embarrassingly quickly, you would be quite busy for a while.

Jimin rushed home as soon as his shift ended. His elation invigorated his steps to the point where he was practically skipping. Holy shit. Holy shit. He had met you. He had talked to you and you had blushed and stuttered and been perfect in every single way. He always thought there was no way he could love you more than he already did but that was just another way you changed his outlook on life.

Seeing your beautiful face, devoid of makeup and yet still you put any work of art to shame, and hearing your soft voice speak his name — you knew his name, holy shit — and smelling your sweet perfume was a life changing occurrence for Jimin.

Of course, he had smelt your perfume before — he wrote down what scent you preferred when he broke into your apartment to place the cameras and he had a pillow at home that he doused with the stuff so that it smelled like you — but experiencing it in real life was on a whole other level.

He got back to his apartment and switched on the live feed just in time to catch you coming back from your lecture. Jimin cooed softly at the sight of you, your eyes were wide and vacant, distracted, and your cheeks were adorably flushed, like you had been rushing. You dumped your bag by the door — Jimin couldn’t wait until he could be the one holding your bag for you, having you tucked under his other arm — and went straight to the bedroom.

Jimin switched the feed to the bedroom cam, holding his breath in anticipation. When you came home and went straight to the bedroom, that usually led to-

You flung yourself on the bed and started working your pants down. Jimin stopped breathing entirely as he felt all the blood in his body, and possibly some extra, rush down south. He knew he should look away, should let you have this moment in private, but he found himself unable to stop palming his erection through his jeans.

He pulled his hand away briefly to turn up the audio feed, and your soft moans filled the air. Jimin almost came on the spot, but he forced himself to wait, he promised he would never come before you. Your lower half was entirely bare and Jimin’s mouth watered at the sight of your pretty pussy, wet and glistening, positioned in the perfect spot for him to see it, for him.

He tugged himself out of his jeans and spread the beads of precome over the head of his cock distractedly, watching as you teased yourself open with one finger. Fuck, you were so fucking tight. He could see the slight discomfort on your face as you thrusted your finger into yourself again and again, obviously trying to get yourself adjusted as fast as possible.

Jimin felt a curl of jealously flare up within him, even as he started pumping his fist up and down his cock faster. What had made you so desperate to come? Who had done this to you? As far as he was aware, there hadn’t been anything new that day so far, unless-

You started to relax, the finger gliding in and out so easily, aided by the slick coating your digit. His mouth dried up just thinking about the taste of you. Jimin watched as your head fell back, your eyes rolling in their sockets, and your perfect lips parted.

“Jimin,” you moaned, and Jimin almost blacked out.

He was so hard it was physically painful, but he gripped the base of his cock tightly, unwilling to come because he knew if he did he would miss the rest of your magnificent performance. You were properly riding your hand now, your hips rolling to meet your own thrusts, eyes shut tight, imaging something- imagining him. Jimin had never felt such sweet torture, needing to come so badly, but needing to watch you come more.

You moaned his name again, sounding more debauched than the first time, and Jimin knew you were close. He wanted so desperately to know what you were imagining him doing, so that he could recreate it with you once he had you. It was like you had read his mind, because a second later you granted his wish.

“P-please, daddy.” You moaned, and Jimin whimpered, he wasn’t sure how much longer he could hold on.

Daddy.

You were going to be the cause of his death and Jimin found that he didn’t mind at all.

“Ple-ease,” your begging was interrupted by a drawn out moan, and if Jimin could have thought straight at that point, he would’ve frowned. Imaginary Jimin was much crueler than Real Life Jimin. Real Life Jimin knew without a doubt he would give you anything in the world if you begged him like that.

“Fuck me, daddy, please,” You cried out, somehow managing to add a third finger, thrusting into your tight, tight wet heat, “Fuck your princess.”

You called out his name again as you came, and Jimin lasted a few seconds watching you pant and ride through the aftershocks of your orgasm before he simply loosened his tight grip on the base of his cock and finished.

When he regained consciousness, you were still splayed out on your bed, seemingly unable to move just like he was, but if he could move he knew he’d be jumping around the room in elation. This was undoubtedly the best day of his life, maybe even better than the one in which he first caught a glimpse of your angelic face.

He had met you in person for the first time, and you had been so obviously flustered by his presence, which was something that delighted him more than he could say and he had thought the day could not have gotten any better, but then you went home and masturbated and moaned out his name and called him daddy and then came with his name on your lips and Jimin honestly didn’t know how he was still breathing.

You were perfect, and amazing, and Jimin was almost mad at himself for not realising just how perfect you would be. He hadn’t anticipated you being this affected by him so soon. He had planned to gradually introduce himself into your life, ‘coincidentally’ running into you outside of the coffee shop after a few weeks, slowly integrating hang-outs and seamlessly turning them into dates. Shyly confessing his feelings after a month of being ‘friends’.

Jimin was not exactly a patient man, but you mattered more than anything to him, and he knew that he would have to be careful until you were so in love with him that you wouldn’t leave no matter what. That would be the point where he would break out the diaries and the videos, and bask in your gratitude that he was so enamoured with you from the very moment he met you, just like those romantic heroes in the books you were so fond of.

But at this rate, Jimin was practically ready to start shopping for engagement rings. He knew your ring size, of course, and your jewellery preferences due to studying your buying habits, but he managed to calm himself down enough to realise you probably wouldn’t appreciate a proposal just yet. But you were certainly attracted to him. Very attracted, Jimin thought smugly. He couldn’t exactly fault you though, since he had looked in a mirror before.

Jimin was an attractive man, he was fully aware many would call him stunning, and now he finally met his match: you. God, Jimin could not wait to see how amazingly perfect your children would be.

You chewed your lip as you ran over the dilemma in your head. It had been two days since you last went to The Roasted Bean. Coincidentally, it was also two days since you saw the most attractive man on the planet. And two days since you had the most intense orgasm you’d ever experienced.

You were seriously craving your caffeine fix, and a small, perverted part of you that was heavily repressed was desperate to catch another glimpse of the beautiful barista, Jimin. But the last time you saw him, you embarrassed yourself so much you wouldn’t be surprised if he turned on his heels and fled at the sight of you.

It was so annoying. You had waited your whole life to meet the perfect guy, but the second you meet him, you realise that you can’t spend longer than three seconds in his presence without melting into a puddle of goo.

After another five minutes spent deliberating outside the coffee shop in the chilly weather, your nose had turned so red you could practically see its glowing reflection in the cafe window. You decided that the chances of Jimin even having a shift now were very slim, and it was even less likely that he would remember you.

He probably got reactions like that (maybe slightly less embarrassing ones) every day given how stupidly attractive he was. He probably had girlfriends to spare. You scowled. Getting jealous over a stranger’s hypothetical girlfriends? Wow, you really have hit a new low, you taunted yourself.

The door opened suddenly, shocking you out of your thoughts so much that you jumped, much to the amusement of whoever opened the door, judging by their chuckle. You looked up at them, and then regretted every life choice that brought you to that exact moment.

It was Jimin, because of course it was, and he looked as stunning as ever, his complexion glowing, his eyes shining, his existence in general devastating. He was in his cute little barista outfit, a fitted white button up and black apron that might as well be a runway look for how much it suited him.

“Are you going to come in, Y/n?” Holy shit he knows my name, you screamed to yourself, vaguely hoping your face had an expression of pleasant detachment and not the strange amalgamation of shock, delight and arousal that you were experiencing. He chuckled, shaking his head slightly as if privy to some inside joke.

“Yes, of course I know your name, Y/n.” You stopped dead in your tracks. Could barista boy read your mind?

“No, I can’t, you just say everything you’re thinking out loud, which is very cute. And you can call me Jimin, you know.” Oh, if you thought you were embarrassed last time, that was a sweet walk in the park compared to today. You cleared your throat quietly, refusing to let yourself be dumbstruck again.

“I do call you Jimin.” You replied, trying to make him believe that you remembered his name because God, you were unlikely to forget it. For some reason, this made him pause for a second, his expression darkening and his tongue darting out to wet his lip.

“I know you do, baby.” He said, low enough that you questioned whether he said it at all, and he had already moved past, slipped behind the counter as you advanced to be opposite him, just like you were when you first met.

“Vanilla latte, right?”

You really should stop getting shocked by Jimin’s seemingly eidetic memory.

“You remember my drink?”

“When a customer is as beautiful as you are, Princess, you tend to remember their drink.” You elected to ignore the way that nickname had your toes curling in your boots, and instead fixated on the pinch of jealousy in your gut.

“I guess you must remember many customers orders then.” You knew you sounded too jealous for someone he barely knows, but your strange possessive behaviour seemed to please him, for a small grin tugged his mouth upwards.

“Nope, just you, Princess.”

“Are you flirting with me?”

The question blurted itself out, bypassing both your common sense and your anxiety. Jimin, however, replied promptly.

“Yes.” His confidence, evident in the way he leaned over the counter and into your space, began to falter as you just stared at him wordlessly. “That is, if you want me to-”

“I do!” You blurted out again, and you really needed to gain a filter, but his confident smirk returned.

“Actually, I was going to say: if you want me to stop-”

“I don’t!” Jimin let out a laugh, eyes crinkling in the most adorable way, before he continued.

“Will you ever let me finish what-”

“No.” At that, he threw his head back, releasing a peal of laughter that you swore could’ve lit up the world with its brightness.

He finally stopped laughing, his eyes still swimming with ill-concealed mirth. You were pretty sure your cheeks were about three seconds away from setting the coffee shop and the surrounding neighbourhood aflame, so it was a relief when Jimin turned to the machine, snapping the mechanism into place, even if you felt a hint of disappointment when you lost sight of his beautiful smile.

God, even his back is sexy, you thought, watching as he tinkered with the various machinery behind the counter. At one point, he bent over to check the positioning of the cup and, well, you had never really paid attention to any guy’s ass before but maybe you should start because damn.

Finally, Jimin turned back to you with a perfectly made latte in his hands. You noted how cute his fingers were absently as they brushed yours. But, when you made to grab your drink, he retracted it suddenly, a Cheshire Cat grin on his face.

“Not so quickly, Princess.” You humphed,

“It’s funny, Jimin, you claim to know my name but you never use it.” He laughed again and you tried to convince yourself that your heart wouldn’t always skip a beat at that sound.

“Oh, so you want me to use your name, huh?”

“It’s only fair, considering you wanted me to use your name, Jimin.”

“Alright then, Y/n.” He purred, bending down to scribble your name on the cup, a bit unnecessary considering he could’ve just handed it right to you, but you got the sense he was trying to drag out your interaction for whatever reason.

He straightened up, the glint of mischief present again in his eyes, and you prepared yourself for another verbal sparring match.

“Do you not want me calling you Princess, then?” He winked at you as he said the nickname, which was frankly quite rude. You would have to send him a bill for all the batteries he made you buy, since your vibrator was definitely going to be running out of power soon thanks to him.

“I didn’t say that.” You hated how quiet and meek your voice came out.

“Oh, it sounds like poor little Y/n’s a bit confused. What do you prefer? Y/n? Or Princess?”

“S-stop it. You’re not funny. I’m going to class.” You spun around and marched towards the door, trying to ignore his laughter following you.

“Baby!” Jimin yelled, and, for some reason, you turned around.

“What?”

Jimin smirked when you responded to the new nickname. “Since you couldn’t decide, I thought I’d use Baby instead. Do you like it?”

“No! I mean, yes- no, I don’t. Goodbye.”

“Baby! Aren’t you forgetting something?” At that, you finally exploded, all the sexual frustration caused by him bubbling to the surface.

“What?” You yelled, “You want a kiss farewell?”

“I was going to say you’d forgotten your drink but, since you asked, I wouldn’t mind a kiss.”

You stomped back to grab your drink, avoiding his eye contact like the plague. As you took the cup your fingers brushed his and the odd, frustrated tension between the two of you dissipated into something almost tender. His skin was so soft and warm. Everything about him seemed so cozy and inviting, and hopeless romantic part of you wanted to sink into his arms and never be let go of.

You left before your tongue released the stupid feelings you were longing to express. Jimin couldn’t even watch you go because he was smiling so wide his eyes had disappeared into little crescents.

“-and then he called me baby!”

“Awww-” “Ew!”

Two very different reactions emerged from your friends as the three of you sat cross legged in your friend’s apartment, a haphazard ‘study session’ with open textbooks spread across the floor beside a half-empty takeout pizza box.

“Buttercup!” Two of you whined simultaneously at the third girl, who remained unbothered, tipping her head back to dangle a stretched slice of cheese into her mouth. The three of you had been practically joined at the hip since birth, and — due to an adolescent obsession with ‘The Powerpuff Girls’ — you each had a corresponding nickname, which had stuck as the years passed you by.

You had been nicknamed Blossom, due to your — usually — level head and desire to make peace whenever your two friends were fighting. Your friend — the one who had cooed at the ending of your story — was chosen to be Bubbles, given that she was the personification of candy floss and possibly the closest thing Earth had to a real life fairy.

Your second, much more cynical friend who was currently finishing her slice of pizza and determinedly not looking at Bubble’s puppy eyes, was Buttercup. Self-proclaimed hater of all romance. Given what happened with her parents in your teenage years, you couldn’t really blame her.

“That’s so romantic.” Bubbles sighed dreamily, before huffing slightly. “I wish you hadn’t told me that tonight. I have to study for-” She flushed delicately, “Mr Kim’s lecture and now I won’t be able to think about anything else but my maid of honour speech at your wedding.”

“Hey!” Buttercup interjected, “I’m going to be maid of honour!”

“But you don’t even like weddings-” Bubble started to protest, and you cut them both off.

“There will be no maid of honour!” You announced shrilly, before forcing yourself to relax. “And also, Bubble, you don’t need to study for Mr Kim’s lecture. It’s not like it’s a class or anything, he’s just a guest lecturer.”

“Yes, but…” Bubble mumbled, docilely accepting the pizza slice that Buttercup held up to her face and continuing to speak through a mouthful, “I wuhmfda fimprsh im.”

“What?”

Buttercup scowled, but translated for you.

“She wants to impress him. Gross.” She turned to Bubble. “Isn’t he, like, forty?”

“First of all, he’s in his mid-twenties at most,” You admonished Buttercup as Bubble let out an indignant wail, “and second of all, we were talking about my problem!”

“Oh, what was that again?” Buttercup drawled. You snatched the pizza slice out of her hand in retaliation.

“Jimin! The hot barista! Calling me baby! And, just, existing in general!”

“Oh, that,” Buttercup sighed, as if you hadn’t literally just been talking about it. “That’s simple. Just bang him.”

“I- You- What?” You spluttered as Bubble giggled quietly.

“You’re thinking of this too romantically, like you always do.” Buttercup continued, sounding fantastically confident for someone who had even less experience with relationships than you did. “You just need to bang him and realise that the feelings you’re having are all just repressed horniness.”

“I mean, I would’ve put it differently, but… I agree.” Bubble chirped, paying no attention to your embarrassed whine, “He definitely… sounds attracted to you, and clearly he’s not alone in that.”

“But… I’m a virgin.” You argued dumbly, and Buttercup snorted.

“Do you want to stay a virgin for the rest of your life?”

“No,” You replied, frowning, “…but… it’s kind of a big deal to me. I want it to be special.”

“Haven’t you already said that the guy is like the hottest person on the planet or something like that?” Buttercup asked, raising a lazy eyebrow. “Isn’t that special enough?”

You didn’t reply, too busy blushing furiously, and Bubble squeaked with excitement.

“Oh my god! He’ll be your one and only! This is so exciting!” She cheered, before abruptly slumping down. “I really wish you had told me this after Mr Kim’s lecture. I can’t study now, I’m too excited.” She mumbled forlornly, shutting the textbook and grabbing another slice of pizza. Your mind was still stuck on Buttercup’s suggestion.

“I mean… I barely know him. I just know his name. And his smile. And the way his eyes twinkle when he laughs, oh my god it’s so cute-”

“Y/n,” Buttercup interrupted you, a rare use of your actual name stopping you in your tracks as she framed your face with her hands and shook it gently. “Bang. Him.”

“I-”

“No, no,” She chided you, putting a finger over your mouth, “No overthinking. Just… do what you want to do. Okay?”

Okay, you repeated to yourself. What you want to do. What you want to do…

But what do you want to do?

“I want you to ask me out!” You blurted over the counter the next morning when you walked into the coffee shop and saw Jimin’s back facing you as he cleaned out the milk-frothing machine.

It was only when he turned around that you realised the guy was decidedly not Jimin, and this random stranger was now looking at you confusedly as you debated the advantages and disadvantages of sprinting out of the shop and directly into oncoming traffic.

It would be a quick and painless death, you mused absently, certainly much less painful than this-

“Y/n?” A voice interrupted your thoughts and you whirled around to see Jimin standing in front of the staff door, seemingly just ended his shift with his uniform off. Oh no, he’s even hotter without the apron, you realised miserably.

His gaze darted between you and not-Jimin, something strange and unfamiliar solidifying in his eyes.

“I didn’t know you knew Sungwoon.” He commented mildly, before shooting an abrupt glare at the other barista- Sungwoon, who hurriedly went back to work.

“Oh, I don’t.” You told him immediately, feeling some kind of compulsion to tell him the truth, “I thought he was you.”

The — anger? you weren’t quite sure, only directed at Sungwoon though, not at you — on Jimin’s face melted as realisation dawned. “Oh-” Then his face did something strange, morphing into a smirk which had you biting your lip. “Oh.” He purred, stepping closer to you. “So… you wanted to tell me something, baby?”

Oh no. He called you baby again. Someone call Life Alert.

“I- uh-” You stuttered, thoughts grinding to a halt as he approached you. And then closed his hand around your wrist. He was closing his hand around your wrist. If Bubble were here she’d be having a fit.

“Let’s go and sit down in a booth, huh?” He said smoothly, before tugging you along to the most secluded corner of the coffee shop. After he guided you onto the cushioned bench, he didn’t sit across from you, sliding right in next to you so you could feel the warmth emanating from his skin. He didn’t let go of your wrist.

You were trapped between the wall and him, and as he smirked down at you, you thought that the wall was probably more merciful.

“Anyway, baby, you were saying?”

All the courage which had somehow flooded into you as you stormed into the cafe had abandoned you, wasted on the not-Jimin who had moved onto wiping down the tables, studiously avoiding your corner.

“I…um,” You mumbled, wringing your fingers together nervously. Jimin stopped you by releasing his hold on your wrist and moving his hand upwards to intertwine with yours instead. Your breath hitched as he smoothed a thumb over the back of your hand gently.

“It’s okay, baby.” He said, his voice soft and comforting, “Just say it. I promise… whatever it is-” His lip quirked up slightly, “I won’t say no. I would never say no to you.”

“Never say never.” You mumbled, and he chuckled. You could feel the warm puffs of air brushing your cheek.

“Okay, um, please don’t laugh. I know we don’t really know each other or anything, but… I… like you.”

“You like me?” Jimin parroted, and you would worry he was mocking you, but his eyes were far too happy for that.

“Uh huh,” You replied quietly, squeezing his hand. He took your other hand in his, and you squeezed that one as well.

“Like… like me like me?” He asked, and you could tell he was joking now, so you whined and gave him a half-hearted shove. He shifted slightly, only to rear back and cage you in his arms, dragging you onto his lap.

“I’m sorry, baby,” He murmured, burying his nose in your neck, and you felt like you were going to melt in the middle of the cafe. All those romance books never told you how embarrassing it was to have someone actually pay attention to you. “You just look so pretty when you get teased. My cute little baby.”

You squirmed on his lap, and his hands came to grip your hips securely.

“Baby’s a little restless?” Jimin asked, his voice low, and you let out another little whine. His hands tightened.

“Does this mean… does this mean you like me too?” You asked timidly, and he huffed a laugh against your hair.

“What do you think, Y/n?” He asked, squeezing your hips playfully. After a moment, he softened, tilting his neck slightly to plant a kiss on the crown of your head. “I like you too much.” He said simply, making you flush.

“Well, that’s good, because I like you too much too.”

“You might even say that I like you-” Jimin wiggled his eyebrows, “-a latte!”

You didn’t react, and Jimin’s smile dimmed slightly.

“You know, because I’m a barista?”

“Actually, never mind, I don’t like you that much-” You said as you tried to shift off his lap, but he held you firmly, tugging you back with a smug laugh.

“No, baby, you won’t get away that easy.”

He pressed you back against the wall bordering the booth, and-

So this is what true love’s kiss is like, you thought, before you stopped thinking altogether.

His lips were soft against yours, but insistent as they slanted over your mouth and pressed urgently until you gave in and parted your lips. He swallowed your whimpers as he skilfully twisted his tongue around yours, licking and sucking and biting and-

He drew back so both of you could catch your breath, and you slumped forwards into him.

“Now I’ve got you…” He said, his voice gravelly from the kiss. You did that, you realised smugly. “Now I’ve got you, I’m never letting you go.”

You hummed happily, curling into his arms without protest. Of course he’d never let you go. Why would you want him to? You’ve finally found your fairytale ending, except you hope it never ever ends. And, just like he promised, Jimin never lets you go again.

[spade-riddles]

"Adjusting Expectations" Post

This submission received a lot of responses and 120 notes, so I thought I would compile the comments here.

Anonymous said:

Adjusting expectations anon was so good. If their timetables are right and we do just need to be patient a little longer, can Kaylor please send us a sign? I guess it would be too loud to slip "adjusting expectations" into social media posts, but maybe they could both do something with playing cards? To show they are card sharks right now but they'll find their way home eventually? That would reassure people. And it would fly under the radar.

casuallycruel131313 said:

I agree with a lot of this but I think the main issue right now is that moral and ethical lines have been crossed and there's no coming back from that. In these post-Trumpian insurrectionist times it's unfathomable that they could continue the Kushner narrative I no longer care if or when they come out, I enjoy the music and I'm happy to observe from a distance because I'm interested from a PR/marketing point of view but my opinion of T &K as people has changed irrevocably and I don't see how they can clean the tarnish off.

@theprologues said:

Agree with most of not all if this but I would like to say as a Kaylor the toe Grammy stunt didn’t phase me. I was not crushed by that by any means. I just shrugged and honestly expected it. It was the attributing Betty and exile to him during the LPSS in November that bummed me out and really made me go...really?

rockcrow20 said:

Have to say I also agree with most of this.

I no longer have any expectations on anything changing any time soon and have not been surprised by the recent events its to be expected after everything over the years really

Nothing has really changed (bearding narrative wise) since I fell down the rabbit hole in 2017 (except that great night in nashville 2018 rep)

Honestly I can't say I am as invested anymore about them ever coming out as I was.

I think the wb/Joe thing was the last moment for me and the continual kushner connection just troubles me like many others.

I mean my kaylor motto for awhile now has been hope for the best but expect disappointment.

Low expectations = limited feelings of disappointment.

original-cypher said:

@rockcrow20 the WB was a breaking point for so many. You are absolutely right. There are just so ma'y contradictions that feel like absolute whiplash. (I know I seem to have been the only one experiencing that with Gorgeous but... that was a big one for me, too) But like. You go on a whole PR campaign about speaking up and standing up for yourself. You say you're capable and tired of men trying to take ownership of your success and profit off of your name. And you credit you literal damn work to a bloke? Bitch, 'consistency'? Look it up. It grossed me out. It would have felt iffy if I believed they were real. But since I wasn't born yesterday it just sent me the message "this is how far I'm willing to sacrifice my principles to not be queer".

rockcrow20 said:

@original-cypher exactly why it bothered me and I know alot us so much. Such mixed messaging of being a strong fighting for your rights female and then oh hey let me attribute some of my best work to my pr boyfriend and the pr pics where she is walking behind all the time like 🙄 The Betty thing that was big one for me too!

rainbowdaisy13 said:

This write up and the comments are spot on. I don’t have much to add other than like @original-cypher said, Miss Americana is tainted for me now and seems like at the very least, it was released too soon in the plan. I get we think they have had to pivot but man, that doc, and including her literally saying “gay rights make me me” at the end was such a false flag. To see her wax poetic about not taking shit from men anymore and then see her do the same old hetero weak woman song and dance routine with the WB shit for albums that are of her genius mind has been so disappointing. I still believe Kaylor is real and I hope they get a chance to show the world that. Karlie posting that cardigan pic in the woods before the folklore release cemented for me they are still together. Adding a baby makes me feel all kind of weird ethical things but I hope I live long enough to see it play out and wear my I Told You So shirt 😁

@kellykaylor said:

agree with your post... I dont care about toe stunts but what really pissed me of was hetwashing betty 🤮! beautiful post tho anon!!

roameroo said:

Totally agree with these all comments especially the strong messaging of MA only to turn around & pull that WB = my "bf" crap. I was disheartened by her mentioning him at the Grammy's only bc he's getting credit for sh*t he doesn't/didn't do. That is what irks me the most about this, giving him credit for her life's work.

always-the-last-word said:

Can I throw my pennies in the pool ?? Taylor will put out the big three first Fearless, RED then 1989 that should bring us to about August. This is where the excitement should begin. If Taylor preps and waits for National Coming Out day it's a no lose for her. Lover her money making machine will go through the roof !! If things go bad or good in the public eye she'll have REPUTATION Taylor's Version ready to release. It will be epic and she'll own it and be FREE.

@karlie-what-you-want said:

always-the-last-word I like this take a lot! I try not to be too optimistic but if she wanted to come out sooner rather than later, I think this plan would satisfy both business and PR needs (at least on Taylor’s end). Remains to be seen how Tay will help Karlie dig her way out of the mess they made together regarding the K*shners.

always-the-last-word said:

Always remember that Taylor has a PLAN. Some of her plans are year's old (easter eggs). Taylor's one and only LOVE is her music, everything else comes second. If KK wants to change and be with her full time she'll make moves around the same time frame. That's if she chooses to. In any event Tay will be open and own all her music. I've seen this film before and WE might not like the ending.

chosetherose said:

I’ve been going back and forth for a day trying to figure out what I wanted to say when I reblogged this post. I’m tired. I’m frustrated. I understand I’m owed nothing by Taylor or Karlie. I understand that circumstances out of their control have caused the girls to pivot over and over again.

But, the root of my frustration in the past months stems not from me battling with the trivial (e.g. pap walks, etc.) but with my personal principles. I fiercely believe credit should be given where it is earned and I uphold this in my career regularly. To see Taylor crediting Toe with her art was deeply disappointing. Watch the 1989 and folklore acceptance speeches back to back and tell me it doesn’t upset you. I believe the K******s have blood on their hands and that their actions during the pandemic have killed people. To see Karlie still associating with one of them disgusts me.

I can’t help but think back in frustration - Would you really fall from grace to touch her face? (And in the brilliant words of @9w1ft) But would you die for her in public? I go back and forth feeling like questions like this aren’t fair at all and thinking they are sort of valid. At this point, it sort of feels like Taylor would only fall from grace for her lover if all the stars and facets of her life aligned perfectly. But perfection like this does not happen. Such is life. So why am I here?

I do question why Spade left certain messages in their final days. I am still holding hope a fervent revolution exonerates everyone. I so desperately want Taylor to regain control of her masters or re-records. Maybe this is the plan they thought was best with multiple goals in mind (re-records, having a family, coming out of the closet one day etc). I’m trying to remain patient because Spade told us to trust her endless yearning. But WOW it is asking a lot of us at this point.

Anonymous said:

Despite being a pragmatist kaylor and oftentimes getting into arguments with fellow optimistic kaylors (owner of this blog included) I think it's quite unfair -at this point- to say to the optimists who have patiently sat through the worst kind of stunts with the most terrible kind of people (yes I'm talking about the Kushner's friend group too) that they should have seen it coming. Besides, if it weren't for the optimists we the cynicals would have burned this fandom down by now.

Anonymous said:

Even if we ignore that an insurrection happened partially because of the family karlie's still working for and getting paid from, she literally said before the pregnancy debacle unfolded that j*sh was her last client while talking about cutting hair and doing a cutting gesture. How should we have interpreted that? 😤That a year later she would be more stuck with the Kushners than ever? We don't wake up on day and decide to have unrealistic expectations. She feeds into them. 😠

Anonymous said:

I have no expectation of Taylor coming out anymore. Zero. None. I have no expectation of her dropping Toe or even of Kaylor publicly reuniting. It doesn't even matter that much anymore. But I - do - expect 1 thing. Karlie to drop and completely dissociate herself from the Kushners and this has nothing to do with kaylor. It was everything to do with me being unable to support a person who willfully assists (now using her baby too) and receives money from a family that has made so many suffer.

Anonymous said:

A quick word from an ex-kaylor (who will never become an anti). A year ago, when the Trumps were still in power and untouchable and there was no baby, I was excusing and turning a blind eye to many things Karlie did for the K*shners. Even that dinner in September. I had also made peace with the truth never being revealed. But a year later the Trumps are gone, Karlie is still on full stunting mode now with a baby in the mix, a baby that is already being used by the Kushners, and I've really run out of excuses. Now the only thing that could possibly keep me on board is if I knew there was a good chance that the full truth would come out, so that Karlie's inexplicable and honestly borderline immoral actions could eventually make sense. But as your sub said, this is an unrealistic expectation, thus I became an ex-kaylor and I'm not planning to come back even when they reunite. 😕

Anonymous said:

What baffles me is that Taylor has explicitly expressed her regret about not giving her lover the credit she deserves and her doubt whether fame is worth hiding her true love: "when I walked up to the podium, I think I forgot to say your name", "what's a lifetime of achievement, if I pushed you to the edge". But yet again she didn't do anything to change this. I didn't expect her to acknowledge Karlie, but a nod or at least not falsely crediting her beard would be a good start.

Anonymous said:

1🙁 Let me chime in re: "expectations". I'm one of the kaylors who ever since the pregnancy reveal was trying to tell everyone there's NO way she was gonna dump him soon after birth let alone before that. It would bring too much unnecessary attention and Jerk would have never agreed to something that would make him look like a bad guy/husband. For the exact same reasons, I was also saying there's no way he wasn't going to post about the baby. All the above against the popular opinion back then.

2🙁 So I agree that the day of the birth post was known to T, not the timing though. Simply bc Kushner-leaning outlets made sure to note that detail. If they wanted it to go unnoticed, why draw attention to it? That being said, kaylors would have been more patient with this mess, if Karlie hadn't gone overboard with her freedom "smoke signals" last summer and Tay's "insiders" hadn't been insinuating that the end is VERY near. Both of them SHOULD have known by then how we would react to these.

3🙁 So it's natural that everyone feels played and has no patience for any more bullshit. Another sore point is how Jerk AND the Kushner-Trump klan monopolize the baby news. This isn't just to make it realistic, it's an abuse of Kaylor's baby's name to garner good pr for the worst family in America, with Karlie's blessing. In order for her marriage and split to appear realistic she's putting a LIFETIME burden on her child's back. Unless you believe she's eventually gonna say Jerk isn't the dad.

4🙁 So "we’re in a position we should realistically have been able to see coming". But we did see it coming, that why some made these extreme scenarios, bc this is the worst possible outcome. "Good people try to make it work, even in bad relationships." Ultimately this isn't just a "bad rs". It's a horrific association that should have been resolved ages ago, not one to bring your child into, doom it to suffer a similar fate, and expect people to sit idly and watch. That's what frustrates most.

[collecting-stories]

Something New - Pope Heyward

Request: Hi! I was wondering if you could do an Outerbanks imagine where the reader is dating John B, but he breaks up with her because he thinks he loves Sarah. After that, the reader likes runs to Pope, JJ, and kiara for comfort and starts to like either pope or jj. As the reader gets closer with Pope or jj John B starts to get jealous and wants her back but it may be too late. Thank you so much!

A/N: I did this for Pope because he doesn’t get enough love.

Outer Banks Masterlist

///

“That’s the trouble with having the same friends.” Pope mentioned, sitting beside you in the hammock. He leaned all the way back so you had to turn to look at him, his presence a welcome distraction from John B and Sarah flirting over by the Twinkie.  

“What’s the trouble?”  

“You can’t exactly avoid them.” Pope replied, “I mean you could but you’d have to avoid us too.”

“Well John B isn’t worth avoiding you.” You said, glancing back over to your ex. Kiara was talking to Sarah and John B had his arms around her shoulders, a move you were all too familiar with.  

“Hey, Kie was talking about that kook movie night, it’s just her, me, and JJ. Would you wanna go?” Pope asked, “I could pick you up?”  

Truth be told, from the moment John B had introduced you to the group and you’d been inducted into their clique Pope had known that he liked you as more than a friend. You were with John B though and the two of you always seemed pretty serious. Pope had never had the opportunity to make a move before and now that you weren’t dating anymore he couldn’t help wanting to put himself out there. He knew he didn’t have a lot in common with John B but he also knew that out of everyone the two of you got along the best, that you were always texting him outside of the groupchat, hanging out with just him, so maybe it wasn’t a stretch to think that you could like him too.  

“Yeah, that’d be really cool actually. I would love that.” You replied.  

-

The day after Chapel Hill John B had shown up at your house and broken up with you. He told you he kissed Sarah Cameron and it just felt right and he didn’t know how to explain it but everything made sense with her. He told you he was sorry but he didn’t know if he’d ever really loved you.  

After he left you’d called Pope and asked him to come over while you sat on the floor in your bedroom just trying to piece together everything that happened.  

“He said, I don’t know if I ever loved you.” You had said, head swimming with his words, “what am I supposed to do with that?”

“Hey, it’s okay.”

“I shouldn’t drag you into this, he’s your best friend.” You had apologised once you stopped crying, laying back on your carpet and looking up at Pope.  

“You’re my friend too. There isn’t any this person over that person crap. We’re all friends.” Pope replied. “And don’t stop hanging out with us okay?”

“John B asked if I would still help with the gold.” You replied.  

If there had ever been a time in Pope’s life when he felt particularly inclined to violence it was in that moment. Hearing you tell him that John B had asked for your help after basically telling you the last year was nothing to him.  

“He’s a dick.”

“He’s just...”

“Being a dick,” Pope said, “don’t make excuses for him. He was an asshole to expect that of you.”  

“I would never ditch you guys,” you replied, sitting back up.

“Yeah and he knows that and is manipulating you into feeling guilty if you don’t help.” Pope replied, “I’m sorry but that really pisses me off like, he’s messing with your feelings and he knows it.”

You moved over closer to Pope, leaning against him and resting your head on his shoulder, “I don’t wanna talk about John B anymore.”

-

John B a ways off from the keg, half listening to what Sarah was saying as he watched you sitting on a branch with Pope. You were turned in toward him knees touching his. John B couldn’t tell what Pope was saying but his hands were moving and you were laughing, leaning into him. When your hand landed on his arm, John B’s hand tightened around his cup.  

“What’s up with them?” He asked, looking back at Kiara as she came over to grab a beer.

“What?” Kiara followed John B’s gaze and so did Sarah, suddenly cut off from her retelling of a story from the past week. “Oh...they’re cute, right?”

“Are they dating? They are cute.” Sarah said, watching Pope scoot a little closer to you as someone else joined the two of you. He put his arm around you and you leaned into his side, a hand resting on his knee.

“For a few weeks now.” Kiara replied, watching John B a lot closer than Sarah was. His eyes narrowed as he watched you laugh at something Pope said before kissing his cheek.  

When he got up and walked over to the keg, your cup in his hand, John B headed that way too. You didn’t notice, pulled back into the conversation you were having but Kiara noticed, following your ex-boyfriend. She recognized the look on John B’s face, because she knew it from all the times he would get peeved when guys would hedge in on you at parties, only this time he had no reason for the look.  

Things between you and Pope had changed after the movie night with Kiara and JJ. He’d picked you up and taken you home and somewhere in all of that Pope had stopped being a friend and become something else. Both of you had agreed not to say anything to anyone because of the gold search and your history with John B, though Kiara had worked it out over the fews weeks that passed.  

“You know you’re just a rebound.” John B commented as Pope filled up your cup.  

Pope frowned, brow furrowing but he didn’t say anything as he stood there. He knew that John B would act territorial when he found out the two of you were dating. In John B’s mind, even though he had broken up with you for Sarah, he still technically had you. You were still there helping find the gold, still hanging around, still talking to him as if you were friends. It was easy for him to think to himself that you were still there, just like you had been for the past year.

“She doesn’t like you.” John B continued.  

“John B, what the hell?” Kiara cut in, looking between the two boys.

“I’m just being honest with him,” John B said, “she doesn’t care about you. She knows we’re-”

“What are you?” Pope said, turning his attention to his best friend, “besides a douche? Man, you can tell yourself whatever you want but the truth is she doesn’t give a shit about you.”  

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” John B said, stepping closer to Pope.

“Are you kidding me right now? You’re being such a dick.” Kiara cut in, glaring at John B. Her raised voice caught both your attention and Sarah’s. You had been heading over anyway and you quickened your pace when you heard Kiara.

“No, you’re right, my bad. I don’t know anything about what a dick you were to her.” Pope said.

“Pope,” you grabbed his arm as you came up beside him, “let’s just go.”

“You should go. When she’s done with you she’ll just move on to someone else, she doesn’t care about you-” John B started to say.

“Shut up man.” Pope shouted.

“What’s going on?” Sarah asked, looking around for some sort of explanation.

“John B didn’t tell you?” Pope asked, “he never mentioned how he was dating her before you or how he told her that he never loved her and it meant nothing!”  

“Pope, please...” you pulled on his arm.

“God, you’re pathetic.” John B said, “you’ll believe anything she says just cause you’re-”

“Shut the fuck up JB!” You snapped, “Look I’m sorry I wasted a year on you but it’s over. You ended it. And I’m with Pope. And he’s not a rebound, so fuck you.” As you turned to go you pulled on Pope’s arm again, leading him away as Kiara began to admonish your ex-boyfriend.  

When you and Pope were far enough down the beach you stopped, pressing your hands against your face and trying to relax your entire body. You wanted to scream and bitch about John B but you also never wanted to speak to him or about him again.  

“You okay?” Pope asked, hands over your wrists and pulling your hands down so that he could see your face. You opened your eyes to look at him and smiled just slightly.

“I’m okay. I’m great, I just need to...leave.” You replied honestly. You sighed, “this isn’t a rebound, Pope.”

“I know.” He nodded. He pulled you closer, kissing you, “I know.”  

-

taglist: @maplelattes22 @poguesrforlife  @freckled-and-daydreaming  @chasefreakinstokes @millie-753 @fangirlwithme @alex12948 @howdyherron @katherine097 @tangledinsparkles @tragicmisfits @carbonated-beverage @mariofgreengables @damonsalvawhore27 @ssprayberrythings @dopedoodes @dolanfivsosxox @belledutchess @poguelifeeee @jjsthumbring @faded-blue @parkerpetertingle @thebookwormlife @summer-clouds-and-long-days @jellyfishbeansontoast @minigranger @louisolos @hoewkeye @love-someone-special @finecelle @vitaminekabc @tiredfeels @g4bster @strangerthanfanfiction713 @the-only-nana @tomzfrog @mozz-are-lla @vindictive-hearts @poguestyleskye @pensysto @jenahbell @beautyandthebleh @lavenderxraindrops @gothackedalready @teenwaywardasgardian @thelonewolfdies @hvitost @haha-fuck-you-thot @stillbelieve398-5 @rewindlr @queenniccimicci @kissessforharryyy @thedarkqueenofavalon 

[shawnmendesbuddy]

Boyfriend‘s Brother

Summary: Y/N’s boyfriend is Peter. Shawn is Peter’s brother. Shawn likes Y/N, but has a terrible way of showing it. Warnings: Swearing! PeterxReader (at first)

“Oh my gosh, look who it is? The school’s know-it-all. What a beeyotch,” Shawn said laughing with his friends at Y/N as she grabbed her books out of her locker.

“Yeah I heard she was only with your brother for your family’s money. What a pig!” Shawn chuckled at his friend’s comment.

Y/N kept her head down as she started to quickly walk away, but Shawn grabbed her wrist and pulled her into him. She dropped her books on the ground and cried out in shock at her proximity to Shawn’s face. His warm breath fanned onto her cheeks and she shuddered, cringing slightly.

He looked very similar to his brother, Peter, Y/N’s boyfriend to be exact. They had the same dark brown eyes and curly hair. As she stared into Shawn’s harsh eyes, she saw a flicker of what she thought to be regret, before he pushed her to the ground laughing with his friends as she crumpled to the floor.

Y/N started to gather up the books scattering the floor when Shawn kicked a book she was reaching for, out of her reach. She watched in horror as the book skidded across the floor.

A foot stomped on the book and she stared up into her boyfriend’s worried face. He made eye contact with her and sent her a sad smile. “Leave her the hell alone! The hell are you doing Shawn?!” Peter yelled at his brother, a dark look in his eyes.

“Nothing,” Shawn said shooting Y/N one last glance before following after his friends towards his class.

Peter helped pick up some of Y/N’s books and sighed. “I don’t understand why he he acts like that. He’s such a dick, I’m so sorry.” Peter shoved Y/N’s books into her bag and zipped up it up. He flipped her around and pulled her into a tight hug.

“You look tired, did you have a tough night?”

Y/N nodded. “I was up late studying for that math test.”

Peter nodded. “Sorry I couldn’t pick you up today, Shawn and I had early morning hockey practice.”

Most mornings Y/N would catch a ride with Peter to school because she didn’t have a car of her own. On the rare occasions where he couldn’t bring her, like today, she would ride with a friend.

“It’s alright.” Peter pulled away and left his hands resting on Y/N’s shoulders.

“K so my parents want you over for dinner on Saturday, do you think you can make it there?” Peter asked.

Y/N felt her head spin. Peter was amazing and fantastic and the guy everybody in school wanted. Y/N had met Peter through Shawn when she was a Freshman and he was a Sophomore.

Shawn and her had been partnered up to do a group project on Romeo and Juliet for English. Shawn had invited Y/N over to his house because he said to Y/N, and I quote, “Why would we go to your house? You definitely live in a dump and I’m not getting my clothes dirty.”

Y/N and Shawn had been arguing if Romeo and Juliet were in love, or if they had an obsession with each other.

“They’re definitely obsessed with each other in an unhealthy way. I mean come on, who threatens to kill themselves if their wife is sad? That’s disgusting!” Y/N said.

“Well I think they’re in love. I think it’s romantic that Romeo and Juliet don’t care what their parents think, they just want to be with each other. And plus, Romeo couldn’t live without Juliet just like Juliet couldn’t live without him. They were definitely in love! And I’m surprised, most girls our age fawn over how beautiful and romantic the death scene was, how come you don’t?” Shawn had argued back.

Peter had been walking past the kitchen when he heard the argument going on. He slowly cracked the kitchen door open and peeked his head in.

His mouth gaped open as he saw a beautiful girl sitting across from his brother. She had the kindest smile and the prettiest colored eyes. And her face was full of life and light. Peter felt butterflies flutter around in his stomach.

“I agree with her, they were definitely obsessed with each other!” Peter said intervening.

Shawn shot Peter a look that said ‘back off’ but Peter continued. “I mean, sure they had some sort of attraction towards each other but they had just met two nights before and they are already killing themselves for the other person? It’s ridiculous Shawn!” Peter said taking a seat next to the pretty girl.

She blushed and Peter sent her a small smile. “What’s you’re name?”

“I’m Y/N. You’re Shawn’s brother, Peter right?” Peter nodded.

Peter hardly saw Y/N after that day, but he still would wave at her in the hallways and he still thought she was gorgeous.

At the beginning of his senior year, Y/N’s junior year, him and Y/N were put in the same P. E. class and he finally worked up the courage to ask her out on a date. The rest is history.

Y/N was still stunned that the most wanted boy in the school—next to his brother—wanted her. It wasn’t that Y/N wasn’t popular or pretty, because she was. She was smart and intelligent and lots of guys liked her—with the exception of Shawn and his friends—and Peter felt as though he was the lucky one.

However, there was a slight problem with them dating each other. Well actually three problems. 1) Shawn despised her with every bone in his body 2) Y/N despised Shawn with every bone in her body 3) Peter’s parents hated that Y/N was middle class and not rich like them.

Actually, the third one might’ve been the biggest problem. Sure she could deal with occasional hate from Shawn—granted it was only occasional because Peter would usually whoop Shawn’s ass before he got a chance to say something mean—but receiving hate from Peter’s parents was a slap in the face. She just wanted them to love her, especially because family’s opinions mattered most in her eyes.

But Peter always reassured her that no matter what his brother or his parents thought, it wouldn’t change his opinion on her.

“Are you sure that going over to your house for dinner is the best idea? I feel like your parents hate me more each time.”

The bell rang over head and she sighed. “I’ll walk you to class. And hey, it’s Friday, you still have a day to decide. And I’ll tell them to play nice.” He said as he put his hand on Y/N’s lower back and guided her down the hall towards her chemistry class, which of course she had with Shawn.

“I don’t think Shawn or your parents are going to play nice but if you really want me there, I’ll do it for you.” Peter’s smile stretched across his face. As long as she could see that smile, she would say yes to anything he asked. “Alright, I’ll be there. What time?”

“6:00, I’ll pick you up.” He said. They reached her chemistry classroom and Peter swooped in planting a long and passionate kiss on Y/N’s mouth.

“Oh my hell! Get your mouth off of that ugly bitch!” Shawn yelled as he walked into the chemistry classroom.

Peter pulled away and shoved Shawn into the classroom causing him to trip over the doorway and fall on his face. Peter chuckled as did Y/N.

“Don’t listen to him, you’re beautiful babe. I got to get to class but I’m taking you out for lunch today,”

Peter said slowly backing away.

“Alright, see you then.”

***

Y/N had just finished curling the last strand of her hair when she heard the doorbell ring. “Honey! It’s Peter!” Her mom yelled up the stairs.

Y/N took one last look at her outfit—a black and white striped shirt with a denim jacket over it and dark blue ripped skinny jeans—before heading downstairs.

Peter was dressed in a white shirt and black skinny jeans. His mouth widened a little and his breath left his lungs. He always got this way around Y/N.

“You look fantastic babe, you ready?” Peter questioned.

Y/N nodded and grabbed onto Peter’s hand.

***

“Y/N I’m sure Peter has told you, but isn’t it wonderful that he got accepted to NYU? He’s only going to be 4 hours away, of course by plane. We can go visit him anytime we want in our private jet. Distance won’t be any issue at all. What do you think about him going to NYU Y/N?”

Y/N sighed. It had been a topic her and Peter had talked about for a while now. They both agreed that they wanted their relationship to last through college even if it was long distance. Peter promised to fly out to Y/N as much as possible, but Y/N didn’t have enough money to fly out to him as often as they both liked. Peter had tried to tell her that his parents would probably let her use the jet but she told him she wasn’t so sure about that.

“Well, I was thinking that Y/N would fly out with you guys when you used the private jet.”

Shawn scoffed. “Why would we bring that bitch with us in our,” he put an emphasis on the word our “private jet?

Y/N felt her face turn red. “He’s got a point Peter. I mean Y/N should have to provide for herself. After all we worked our way to the top and so can Y/N.”

Y/N thought she saw a twinge of regret in Shawn’s eyes but it was gone before she could even register it. She waited—the whole table waited in silence—for Peter to do something. To stick up for her. But he didn’t. He sat there stunned that his family would act this way towards the girl he loved.

Y/N felt tears prick her eyes. He was her boyfriend but how were they supposed to make this work if he couldn’t even stand up for her in front of his parents. Y/N stood from the table and ran out of the kitchen.

No one came after her. Not even Peter.

***

Y/N was crying into her hands when she heard the voice. “Will you stop the dramatics? What the hell was that in there?! You don’t think Peter’s already upset enough that our parents hate you? And you go and make it worse by running out and causing a scene! Peter’s a wreck and it’s all your fault,” Shawn said to her.

Y/N stood up quickly and slapped him hard across the face. “You insolent jerk! You douche! You son of a bit—“

A soft pair of lips cut Y/N off from her sentence. A pair of strong arms wrapped around her waist keeping her steady as she threaded her fingers through Shawn’s hair and pulled him closer—if that was even possible—to her. She didn’t know why she was kissing him back. He had brought her nothing but hell! But it felt so right, so different from when she kissed Peter.

Y/N finally gained the strength to push him away. He pressed his forehead against hers and smiled a genuine smile at her. And she couldn’t help smiling back a little too.

“What just happened?” She whispered.

He chuckled. “I finally got to kiss the girl I’ve liked since Freshman year.”

Y/N’s mouth gaped open and she pushed him away from her. “You’re such a liar! You hate me!”

Shawn shook his head. “I never hated you. I was just embarrassed that I had feelings for someone who wasn’t upper class like me, which is really shallow. I mean, coming from an upbringing like that though,” Shawn pointed his thumb back at the door,”I mean my parents discourage liking anyone below us. Not that your status matters to me,” Shawn said quickly. “Look I know it’s ridiculous, but I needed a way to push you out of my life and I thought by being mean to you, you would back off. But you hardly ever took my crap—well except for this morning—and I liked you more each day. And then Peter started dating you and...”

“You were jealous,” Y/N concluded. Shawn nodded.

“I’m the worst. I called you terrible things and I’m really sorry.”

Y/N nodded. She looked up to see Peter standing in the doorway dumbfounded. “What the hell’s going on out here?! One minute you two hate other and the next Shawn’s confessing his undying love for my girlfriend. Unbelievable! You’re joking Shawn, right?”

Shawn glared at Peter. “The hell I am! You knew I liked her and you asked her out!”

“Because you dodo brain couldn’t get it through you’re thick skull how to treat someone with respect!” Peter yelled.

“Well I guess I must have some sort of sense of respect because you’re girlfriend was just kissing me!” Shawn yelled back.

Peter’s face fell. “It’s that true Y/N.”

Y/N looked down at the ground and nodded. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

Peter looked beyond hurt. ”After everything I’ve done to protect you from him? And you choose him? He…he,” Peter sighed. “I just don’t understand!” A single tear dropped down his face.

Y/N wanted to comfort him, but she also didn’t want to send the wrong message. Yes she did like Peter, but the thrill of the chase with Shawn was exhilarating. But now that the chase was done, would their relationship be as exciting?

And Peter had treated her so well. How had she gone and betrayed him?! He was so good to her.

“Look Y/N, I love you. All I want is for you to be happy. And I know that I’m going off to college but we could still make this work. I…forgive you for kissing Shawn. But if you do want to be with him—if he makes you happy—I’m not going to stop you. It’s your choice.”

Y/N stared at both boys, contemplating the pros and cons of each one. Before sighing and making her choice. “I choose…”

A/N: This is a choose your own ending story. I know it’s crappy, but like, I’m trying here 😂. Also please send in requests.

Peter’s Ending

Shawn’s Ending

[devinescribe]

Together

Chapter 4 to 100 Promises

Chapter 3 | Chapter 5

It's going to start off where chapter... 2? Left off. I think it was chapter 2 anyways.

Warnings: swearing, weapons, and I think that's it. This chapter isn't that bad.

You feel down to the floor, staring out to the person standing on the balcony. 'Why did I have fucking glass see through doors? Oh fuck my taste in aesthetics!' You thought, looking around a bit panicked, looking for any type of solutions. You quickly crawled besides the bed, hoping they didn't see you. They did. It was to dark out without any lights, so you couldn't see any specific features, other than they were tall, and had some sort of weapon. "Please be locked please be locked please be locked," you muttered, grabbing the dagger you had from the game. The person turned the doorknob from the outside, opening the door. "Oh, fuck me!" You shouted standing up, pointing the dagger at them. "Try me bitch, see what happens! I am not afraid to stab you!"

"Woah there. Didn't think you'd hate me that much," they said, laughing. You recognized that voice. That laugh. You'd know it from anywhere, although it sounded a bit more... confident.

"Niragi?" You asked, hopeful in his answer. "That's me," he said, finally stepping into the part of your room that had enough light from the moon to see. You dropped the dagger, your eyes widening. "You're not? You're not dead," you whispered, walking over to him. "Dead? Why would I be-" he started, before you hugged him tightly. He could feel the shaky breaths you were taking, and decided now wasn't the time. "You stupid fuck, I thought you were dead!" You suddenly shouted, pushing him away. "Yeah? Well, I thought you were safe back home you dumb bitch!" He shouted back. You two looked at each other with a straight face for a few seconds before bursting into laughter.(that's how you know you're best friends UwU)

"I'm so glad I found you! Well... you found me? I don't know, I don't care. How did you find me?" You asked, watching as he walked around your old room. "An educated guess," he said. You laughed watching as he walked around. "I'm guessing all your stuff is at our apartment?" He guessed. You nodded. "Not like I would need it. Also, what's with the gun? And how did you find out I was even here?" You asked, it suddenly dawning on you there was no possible way he could've known. "To your first question, I'll answer in a bit.  To your second question, a... Cheshire cat of sort, I guess you could say," he answered with a smirk. "Cheshire cat? The only person who I've even talked to is- wait... that little! Does he have really blonde, almost white hair and a very condescending look all the time? Pretty short?" You asked, getting a bit angry at the thought that someone had lied to you, and you hadn't caught on. "Uh.. yeah? Wait, do you know him?" It was Niragi's turn to be confused. "That little bitch! He told me- hmph! I'm going to kick his ass off a roof next time I see him!" You yelled in anger. Niragi knew when you got angry to let you rant. You were scary when you were angry. He learned that pretty early on, and learned to stay out of your way when you want to deal with someone. "Yeah, he has that effect on people. He pisses me off. Chishiya... he's well, Chishiya. Thinks he's better than everyone sometimes, I swear," Niragi said. You stopped your rant with a sigh. "Sorry. This is kind of a new situation. Don't know how to deal with it," you muttered sitting on the edge of your bed. Another thing Niragi noticed early on was that you didn't do exceptional with change. "It's human nature to adapt to new things. Just takes you a bit longer. And from what I heard, you did great for your first game," Niragi said as he sat next to you. "Who- oh... Chishiya... Where have you been staying since the games started?" You asked, looking at him curiously. "That's actually what I came here to talk about. Basically, it's a 'safe haven' called the Beach. Players go there, we all play the games when assigned, collect the cards, and give them to Hatter, the leader. Basically communism," he explained. "The fuck?" Were your only words. He laughed. "The more games you play, the more cards you collect, or the more useful you are to the Beach, the higher you wristband number. Right now, we think that if we collect a complete deck of cards, a person can leave. The number 1 leaves first, then we all go up a number," he kept explaining, showing you his wrist band. "4? What did you do to get up that high?" You asked, amazed at his high ranking. "Played the games. Oh, and I guess I'm part of the milital sect, so there's that," he said. He found it cute how you were so excited about something so... irrelevant to him. He had always found it interesting how your emotions could go like the flip of a switch. You could be a total badass one second and the next be curled up under blankets acting cute.

"You're so mean to me!" You pouted, crossing your arms over your chest. He could only laugh in response. "Jerk! I'll lock you out!" You shouted, stomping your foot. He knew you were lying, and you wouldn't. Or, at least he thought so.

"(Y/N), it's been 3 hours, come on I'm sorry," he apologized for what seemed to be the hundredth time to him. You really had locked him out on the balcony. You sat in front of the glass doors, sticking your tongue out at him. "(Y/N), you're 17, not 5 for God's sake, let me in already! You're being really annoying right now!" He shouted, getting angry at you now. Not something that happened very often. You tilted your head to the side, and frowned. You unlocked the door and opened it. He came into the room, and you went and sat on your bed. "Fucking finally..." he whispered to himself. He heard you say something under your breath.

"What was that?" He asked, looking at you. " 'M sorry... don't be mad. I didn't mean to be annoying," you whispered loud enough for him to hear. He suddenly regretted his choice of words from earlier. Being childish sometimes was how you expressed your feelings. You didn't get to be or act like a child when you were younger, so with him, you felt like you could be. He realized that you trusted him enough to do that, and he had been rude about it. "I'm not mad at you. I shouldn't have used those words, I know it's just you being you," he said, sitting down besides you. "I'm sorry I locked you out..." you muttered an apology as you hugged him. "Apology accepted. And I'm sorry for what I did for you to lock me out, and for what I said," he apologized, hugging you back. "You just... it scared me, I thought you had actually... actually done that," you whispered. "I'm thought you'd left me..."

He had remembered that day more than most because it showed how much he actually mattered to you. Back then, when he thought he was worthless and how no one would miss him if her were gone, you did. You had always cared, since the first day he met you. It was one thing he liked about you. The way you cared about people, even if they didn't deserve to be cared about. Sure, you had trouble accepting apologies from people who had hurt you, but it didn't stop you from being nice when needed.

"Yumi? Are you alright?" You asked, seeing one of your bullies crying. "G-get away from me freaks," she had stuttered, wiping away the tears. Niragi tried to pull you away. He knew what this girl had said to you. She was always making fun of you, how you looked, your weight.(I mean, I didn't make the reader plus sized(I'll keep it as neutral as possible), but the more I write, the more I want to. Niragi gives me vibes of the skinny guys who love chubby/plus size women. Aka, the best kind of guy) Anything to make you feel bad about yourself. "Let's just go..." he whispered, trying to pull you away. You shook his hand off, walking over to her. "Yumi-San, what's wrong?" You asked, reaching in your bag, finding a tissue and handing it to her. She blew her nose into it. "M-my boyfriend broke up with me. But it's none of your concern, freak," she sniffled. You both knew who her boyfriend was. One of the guys who was in your main group of tormentors. "Oh honey... a pretty girl like you shouldn't cry over trash like him. You are a solid 11/10, he doesn't deserve the tears," you said, taking another tissue, and drying her tears. Even though she was always so rude to you, you had to admit she was a beautiful girl. She had short back hair that was just above her shoulders, and beautiful brown eyes. She didn't like makeup, so she never wore it, so it made her beauty natural. She wasn't curvy, and made a lot of girls look up to her, as she was actually pretty flat chested. She was incredibly smart as well. All in all, she was simply a teenage girl that was attractive to most guys. And a part of you liked that she wasn't the normal beauty standard, because it was just so badass to you. She hadn't used her looks to get ahead either. She was just mean. You had always thought she was pretty, even if she was mean. "If he can't see how pretty you are, then he's not the one for you," you said. "W-why are you being so nice to me? I- I'm always so mean to you," she stuttered. You stopped to think for a second, and looked back at Niragi. He walked over to you, and stood besides you. "Ok... mm... 'M being nice to you 'cause... I wanna be. No one deserves to feel unwanted. And besides, my karma stays clean," you smiled. She laughed. Not a mocking laugh, not a rude laugh, not a fake laugh. You  told her some joke to make her feel better, and she started laughing even harder. Her real laugh, not the fake preppy laugh she always did. She snorted, and covered her mouth in embarrassment. "You should laugh like that more often. Your real laugh is so nice," you complemented. Yumi had always hated her laugh, as it wasn't the cute laugh that was described in books. But, then again, neither was yours. "Bye bye Yumi! Hope you feel better soon!" You shouted, waving back at her as you and Niragi left. She smiled to herself, waving back at you.

"I want to take a nap," you muttered as you got closer to your house. "You are something else, you know?"

"If... if I go with you right now, I don't think I'd be that helpful. I've only played in one game after all," you stated. Niragi thought for a moment. He'd talked about you, Chishiya would most certainly talk about you seeing as he would never bring someone from a game up unless they were interesting, and once you showed how you could play, he was sure you'd get a high rank. "I've got my ways. You coming with me, or not?" He asked, getting up.

"Yeah. I don't want to be alone again. Or at least without you again. That's 6 months of my life I didn't have my best friend you asshat."

"That wasn't my fault, I had no say in it!"

"Fuck you."

"This is a personal attack on my hp, you're lowering my health bar with your mean comments."

"Nerd."

"Bitch."

You two basically walked back to the beach like that. Most of the way, anyways. You two knew you meant none of the words, it was just your way of talking to each other. In a playful way.

He had taken you up to a room that had a table with chairs around. In there had been 5 people. One with long ish hair, sunglasses, and a colorful robe, another with tattoos covering his body, a woman with a white, sleeveless button up shirt with black shorts, a man dressed in a black tank top and what you would call 'drill Sargeant pants', and well, you knew the last one. "You little bastard!" You shouted, seeing his smirk. "Everyone, this is (L/N) (Y/N), the girl I told you about,'' Chishiya introduced you, ignoring your words. Niragi held your arm to keep you back from hurting Chishiya. He wanted to see it, but he also didn't want you to die. "Ah, lovely! We've heard about you. All good things, all good things," the man in the robe exclaimed. You smiled a bit, seeing as he seemed to be a person who was a fan of the theatrics. He seemed fun. "That's Hatter. The leader, as I told you earlier," Niragi whispered to you. You nodded. "That's the dissection freak, or Ann," he whispered again, nodding his head over to the woman with black hair."That's Aguni. He's the leader of the milital sect. So, basically, my boss," Niragi whispered again, pointing at him. "And that's Last Boss. We're sort of friends?" He whispered making a gesture to the man with tattoos.  "Ah... ok. So, these are all members of the militals?" You asked him quietly. "No, Ann and Chishiya are part of the executives. Aguni is leader of the militals. If you want to work with weapons, that's who you have to impress," Niragi explained. Chishiya had walked over in the time you'd been talking, and only got your attention by tapping your shoulder. You glared down at him. He looked you up and down. "Are you wearing heels, or are you just that tall?" He questioned. You stared down at him. "I'm just this tall?" You said confused. He hummed walking away. Niragi tried to keep his laughter in, and you immediately noticed. You flipped him off, and he acted offended. "So are you two... together?" Hatter asked, noticing you two were standing closely, you went knocked out or trying to kill Niragi. "Together? Like... a relationship? No. Friends? Yes," you said, grabbing his arm. 'Mhm... friends for now.' Ann thought. "We've heard from both Chishiya and Niragi that you're good with weapons?" Ann asked, keeping everyone on track. You nodded. "Which ones?" She asked

You took a big breath, beginning your list, "Knives, swords, bow and arrow, mace, guns I could go into which type if you would like, daggers, throwing knives, crossbow, and many many more but I don't want to bore you."

The room went quiet. "Well... um... that's quite the list. What games have you played in?" Hatter questioned. "Just one... the game with Chishiya," you said, looking down, playing with your- well, technically it was Niragi's, but you thought he was dead, so in your defense, you thought you would never feel the comfort of your best friend's hugs. "Ah, the five of spades, correct?" Hatter asked, more towards Chishiya than you. You both nodded. "Well, before anything, you must know the rules of the Beach. 1, you must wear a swimsuit," he started. "Woah, Woah woah, sorry to interrupt you, but um... why? And uh... he's not wearing one," you stated, pointing at Niragi. "Oi, don't throw me under the bus you dumb whore," he insulted with a smile. You know he didn't mean it in a rude way. Again, you two were best friends. "Sir, I have more blackmail on you than you can think of don't go there with me. For instance I caught you m-" you started, before Niragi put a hand over your mouth. "And that's enough from you. You were saying?" He said, directing his attention back to Hatter. "Uh... what was I saying? Oh yes, he's a milital and carries that gun around so he can't hide weapons. He has access to them, 2 all the cards you collect get handed into me, and 3 Death to the traitors," he finished. You licked Niragi's hand which was still over your mouth. He immediately took his hand off. "Ew! Disgusting!" He shouted, wiping his hand off. You laughed, and everyone else in the room smiled. Especially Hatter. He liked you already. Not in a creepy way, but he enjoyed that you weren't scared. "Anywho, alright. Swimsuit,cards to you, death to the traitors," you repeated. "Good girl," Chishiya said, a teasing tone obvious in his voice. "Tomorrow, you'll be going to a game with Aguni and An. They will decide your skills so we know where to put you. For know, I'm sure that Niragi wouldn't mind showing you to an empty room, and getting you changed into our 'uniform'," Hatter said. "By empty room, you mean she's staying with me until she gets her number, right?" Niragi asked. That's what he wanted, for you to stay with him. You two had almost 6 months of talking to catch up on. "Oki! Come on bubs, lead the way!" You shouted, grabbing his hand. He rolled his eyes, leading you out.

"I bet you guys anything they'll get together," Hatter stated after you two left. "Oh thank the gods I wasn't the only one who thought so," Ann breathed. You two had quite the overwhelming personalities. "I'm sure. She's a smart girl though. From what I saw, she's a potentially strong player for diamonds and hearts," Chishiya stated, watching the spot you had just stood at. "Oh, I think so too. Aguni, what do you think?" Hatter asked, turning his attention to his stoic friend. "We'll have to wait and see for tomorrow," he responded.

Anyways, this is on Wattpad and AO3 as well, I hope you're all having a lovely day/evening

[managedmischiefs]

chapter eighteen

genre: angst

warnings: prison, solitary confinement, kidnapping, ptsd, hospitals, car accident (no description, just mentions), Cat Adams, allusions to sexual assault

word count: 12.4k (sorry friends)

summary: amelia comes to terms with spencer coming home. spencer needs to save his mom and catch scratch. it's too much for 24 hours.

pairing: season 12 spencer reid x oc

AMELIA

Being woken up by banging at my door was not how I expected my day to start. I'd barely even slept. All my friends came over to my apartment when I told them I needed support, and we wound up staying up until the early hours of the morning watching tv.

But Frankie shook me awake, telling me that someone had been knocking on the door for a few minutes and they weren't going away. I pushed Frankie away at first, murmuring for him to answer it himself.

"Lia," Jenna took her turn in shaking my shoulder, "it's Penelope and JJ! You have to open it. Go."

And so I pushed myself off the couch, falling onto my knees but dragging myself away from my sleepy group of friends. Penelope and JJ burst in the door as soon as I opened it, and in the past, the tear stains on their cheeks would have made me panic. But they're smiling and hugging me and grabbing my hands and the excitement confused me but didn't make me wonder what happened to Spencer.

"We're going to get him." Penelope blurted out, holding my shoulders too tightly and beaming at me and JJ. "You didn't want updates so I didn't give you any but now that we know about Lindsay and that she drugged Reid, we found evidence that put her in Mexico and we also found partial prints and we got them to a judge just in time and she agreed to release Reid!"

"It's over, Amelia, he's coming home," JJ added, pulling me into another too-tight hug.

I didn't believe them. Penelope and JJ seemed elated and ready to bring me to the prison, and even my friends gave me hugs when I moved back towards the living room for my shoes. But it didn't seem real. It didn't seem like reality. Almost five months without Spencer and receiving bad news after bad news after bad news, I should have believed that all of a sudden he's coming home? It wasn't possible.

The girl's ushered me upstairs and told me to change as quickly as I could. And if I believed them, maybe I would have dressed better. Maybe I would have throw on a dress and my signature boots and put my hair up and thrown in my piercings and slapped a smile on my face. Maybe I would've made myself look presentable. But none of this seemed real and so I didn't even care. I just threw on a new pair of pajamas and my glasses and ran my fingers through the knots in my hair. When I returned to the girls downstairs, I just grabbed my backpack and shrugged.

"I'm gonna take my own car," I had picked my car keys up from the bowl as we left my apartment. I insisted that I wanted to drive my own car and not ride with the girls and Luke, but Penelope insisted that she drive my car. Something about me maybe not being in the right mindset to drive. I didn’t have the energy to argue. So she snatched the keys out of my hand and dragged me to my car, making sure I got in the passenger seat, and then drove off.

The silence loomed over us as she drove and I just stared out the window at the passing sights. I tried to keep my breathing regulated and my tears at bay. A few slipped out and rolled down my cheeks but I didn't let them stay for long, I couldn't let that type of weakness linger.

"Hey," Penelope eventually broke the silence, "why aren't you more excited? Spencer's coming home."

I shook my head, biting down on my lip. "Because I don't believe it."

"You don't believe it?" She asked, glancing over at me. "We’re going there now, Amelia. Going to go get him."

"Penelope." I turned to her, my throat tightened to stop the flood gates from opening. "Every time I came to the BAU, there was some horrible news waiting for me. Spencer's arrested, Spencer's going to prison, Spencer's trial was pushed back, Spencer got beat up, Spencer stabbed himself to get into solitary confinement. I know you guys are amazing at your jobs, you're the absolute best at your jobs and I'm sorry if I'm being harsh, but I'm not gonna believe it when you and JJ come knocking on my door on a random Wednesday morning to tell me that Spencer is coming home after he basically tried to start a fight with someone in prison. I'm not getting my hopes up."

Penelope didn't say anything after my tantrum. She just kept her eyes forward and she drove, and when the prison finally came into view, I had to look away. I had bitched and moaned and cried and screamed about Spencer not putting me on his visitor list but as I finally laid eyes on the building where Spencer was being trapped and tortured, I knew I'd never be able to step foot inside. I knew I couldn't force myself into a building where Spencer went through the worst moments in his life.

"I can't go in," I said to Penelope, and she didn't even ask why. She didn't ask why, she didn't try to convince me to go in, she didn't complain.

The three of them rushed inside the prison and I was left in the parking lot. I eventually migrated outside my car, leaning against the driver’s side and staring up at the clouds. I couldn't see any shapes at that moment. I wonder if Spencer was able to see any yet. The last time I'd asked, he couldn't. I wonder if he could look up at the sky and see a hair bow or a tree or a bird.

Time ticked on, and on, and on, and my heart sank closer and closer to my feet. I knew it was too good to be true. They went in there to get Spencer and now they won't let him out. Why else would it have taken so long? How long does it take to get someone out of prison? Surely not the hour and a half that I stood out in the cold, trying to bring my sweater closer around my body to keep me warm.

I just stared at the clouds and wished with every fiber of my being that this would be over soon so I could go home and curl up in bed. I didn't want to be trapped in my stuffy car, or stranded at this horrible prison, or anywhere near the BAU team.

I reached into my pocket, pulling out Spencer's sobriety medallion. There was never a day that I left my apartment without it. I traveled every single step with it on my body. It didn't serve the same purpose to me that it would for a recovering addict, but it did do something similar. It reminded me that Spencer would come home to me. Every time I looked down at the circular metal, at the engraved N on the back, it reminded me that whether it be tomorrow, or next month, or next year, or next decade, Spencer would come home to me. He would, like he promised so many times that he would, remember to keep going north and he would come home. He would do what he believes is right and he would come home to me in one piece.

I twirled the cold metal in my hand and tapped my foot, waiting for this torture to be over. And maybe it was privileged of me to have that thought. I had all the privilege in the world to be sitting outside of a prison with car keys in my hand and a car full of gas that could take me anywhere, while my boyfriend was trapped inside, wasting away and serving time for a crime that he didn't commit while serial killers roam free and taunt the BAU with what they've done.

When you're younger, you memorize the sounds of your family members. I could always tell by the sound of a set of keys if it was my mom or my dad walking in the front door. By the pressure and amount of knocks, I could tell if it was my brother coming into my bedroom to play or my dad coming to hit me. I could always tell who was screaming louder downstairs by the frequency, and I quickly learned who was my mother and who was my father, even if their voices were muffled.

I only started to cry when I heard footsteps. I heard Penelope's heels clicking against the pavement from a mile away, but the moment I heard Spencer's dress shoes against the pavement, I relaxed and let the tears fall. I'd heard him wear those shoes for the entirety of our relationship and I knew the sounds of those just as well as the sound of my own voice. That was the moment that I knew it was real. This was happening. It was over. He was coming home and I would have him in my arms again.

He didn't say anything for what seemed like the longest time. Even as I sniffled and wiped my tears, he just stood and stared. I knew that the moment I looked at him, I would lose it, but not exactly how. I'd yelled and I'd cried and I'd lost my cool at the team, but how would I react towards Spencer? Would I do the same? I was pissed at him, that's for sure. I was pissed and hurt and scared and angry, and I wanted nothing more than to scream at him for putting me through this pain and for leaving me by myself for so long.

But I knew that I'd give anything to hug him, to kiss him, to comfort him, to have him in my arms. I wanted to cry and tell him that, despite his mother's abduction, he's safe. He doesn't have to fight for his life anymore and he doesn't have to watch his back. I just wanted to love him endlessly. But I didn't want to look at him. I didn't want to see what he looked like and face what he had been through and see the physical effects. So I kept my eyes up at the clouds, searching for clouds that I could distinguish to be a shape.

He moved closer and I swear, I could've screamed. Screamed, why? I'm not sure. My chest was so tight, I needed to get some sort of emotion out. But I just clutched the medallion as tightly as I could and zeroed in on a cloud that could possibly, maybe, only a little bit look like a square.

"I'm sorry," he said, but I had no clue what he was apologizing for. Honestly, there are so many things. Was he sorry for approaching me? Was he sorry for going to prison? Was he sorry for getting arrested? Was he sorry for going to Mexico? Was he sorry for bringing his mother to live with him? There are so many things that, in Spencer's mind, he could apologize for. Why now? But I still didn't look at him. "I tried to see dinosaurs and cars and lamps like you told me about, but I couldn't. I need you to teach me how to see shapes in the clouds because I can't do it without you, baby."

The fucking clouds. He apologized for not seeing shapes in the fucking clouds. He apologized because of one conversation we had after I dragged him to the park after he came home from a rough case. But somehow, I understood what he meant by it. He thought that he failed me and that he disappointed me because of this whole ordeal. Not being able to see a fucking dinosaur in the cloud is just a metaphor for his inability to keep himself out of harm’s way and out of Scratch's way. But I never saw it like that, and I wish he knew that.

And in my horrible effort to silently communicate to him that he didn't need to apologize, I looked into his eyes. I love this man with all my heart, but he looked absolutely horrible. His hair was significantly longer than I remembered and looked like it hadn't been brushed in years, his facial hair, while I was right in predicting that it is undeniably sexy, was unkempt, and he had the darkest circles under his eyes that I'd ever seen. I'd seen him deprived of sleep before, but at that moment, I wondered if he ever actually closed his eyes for the duration of his stay in prison.

He reached out for me, and just when his fingers were about to brush the fabric of my coat, he retracted his hands. I wished he hadn't. I wished he grabbed me as tightly as he could the moment he walked over here and kissed me with every bit of strength he had left in his body. I trembled with desire, just needing to feel Spencer on me. But I didn't want to rush him. I knew he went through a lot in those walls and he was clearly a bit unhinged, and I didn't want to set him off.

"I--" he hesitated, it seemed, stumbling over his words. He gulped, choking back tears. I wanted to reach for him, to hold him, to kiss him, to hug him like I'd been craving to do for months on end. But I reminded myself to breathe through my tears and not accost him. "Lia, I need you."

That was all it took. We broke down after that. We broke down crying, and hugging, and kissing, the way we had both been longing to do so badly for months. It was an outpouring of love and emotions and tears and part of me thought that it still didn't even feel real. It was just a moment of relief and happiness before Spencer would be ushered back inside and stolen right from me again.

Even now, it doesn't seem real. Even now as JJ comes to put her hands on our shoulders and grins at us, telling us that the other three are going to head back to the BAU. Penelope and Luke give us hugs and head back to the SUV, leaving Spencer and me alone again.

It doesn't feel real as I pull my keys out of my pocket, turning to my boyfriend with a slightly tired smile. "I know I shouldn't try to convince you to go home and shower, or change, or just-- go home and rest."

Spencer gives me a tight-lipped smile, shaking his head no. "I know you want me home, but I gotta get my mom back."

"I know. I knew that answer already. Get in," I gesture to the passenger side of my car and climb in, starting the engine. I watch the SUV pull away in front of us and put my car into drive, double-checking that Spencer has buckled his seat belt before I pull away from the prison. I catch Spencer's eyes lingering on the building as we pull away, and I wish I could know what's going on in his head. "Hey," I whisper, and his head slowly turns to me, "it's over, dove. You don't have to go back ever again."

Spencer starts to nod but his gaze travels out the window again. The silence in the car thickens and it makes me nervous. It scares me, to be honest. I've heard stories about inmates being institutionalized, but I have no idea what that means. I know of the major events that happened to Spencer in prison but I don't know what he saw, or experienced, or what's going on in his head. I don't know if he's changed and I don't know if he's stayed exactly the same. But if I'm getting the answer based on this car ride, I would bet that he's changed exponentially. Spencer always filled our car rides with stories and facts and statistics. We've never had a silent car ride.

"Amelia?" He's, surprisingly, the one who breaks the silence. "Um--"

"Yeah?" I encourage him to keep talking, looking over at him when I stop at a red light.

Spencer looks down at his lap, fiddling with one of the cuff links on his jacket. "This seems sort of, um, silly, I guess, but, um, could you, um--"

"Lovey, just ask. You don't need to be afraid," I turn my head to him and smile. I try not to let my mind wander off and question how maybe smiles he's seen lately. I try not to let my mind wander off and question how many times he hasn't been afraid lately.

Spencer chews on his bottom lip as he stares back at me, still wondering if he should even ask what he wants to. And I'm not sure what it is that finally calms him enough to ask, but he nods after a moment. "Could you, um, if you could still drive, could you, just, hold my hand?"

It's such a simple request. It's a question that, in the past, would have never even needed to have been asked. Spencer would have just reached over and grabbed my hand at a red light without asking. Maybe he would have kissed me too, and he probably would have even had his hand on my thigh by now. But now he seems so hesitant to touch me, and I don't know if I want to know if it's my fault or his fault.

I retract my right hand from the steering wheel and hold it out to him. "Of course. You know you don't need to ask, Spence."

Spencer nods wordlessly, intertwining our fingers and dropping our hands into his lap. He holds them there, staring straight forward when I start to drive again. I soon feel his other hand covering my knuckles and it brings goosebumps to my skin.

"You got another tattoo," he observes, and then runs his pointer finger over the black ink, "and it's for me."

"I got it after your court hearing," I say softly because even though he brought up the tattoo, I don't necessarily want to bring up things like his arrest and when he was sentenced to go to jail. "Everyone came out to tell me what happened and I just dragged Penelope out and got it done right away. I wanted a reminder of you."

Spencer lifts our entwined hands, pressing his lips to the back of my hand. "I love it." His lips are soft and warm and I never want him to pull away, but then I remind myself that his kisses aren't going anywhere. He's out of prison and he's not leaving me again and he's coming home.

I glance down at our hands and a small smile comes to my face. But he doesn't say anything else and he just moves his gaze back out the window. So I keep driving and I don't say anything else until we arrive at the building where I've spent all of my time lately.

I'm starting to break again as I throw my car into park, leaning my one hand against the steering wheel as I choke back a new wave of tears. "Spencer," my voice cracks pathetically, and I can't even bring myself to look at him, "they're gonna find your mom, and everything's gonna be okay."

"You don't know that," Spencer scoffs and he drops my hand from his grasp. "She's been taken by serial killers who put me in prison just because they wanted to have some excitement in their lives. They could--" he shutters, digging the heel of his hand into his eye, "they could just kill her and-- and-- I'll never see her again."

When I look over at him, something just makes me realize how much he's changed, but I'm not sure what. Maybe it's how he's speaking to me and how he let go of my hand. Spencer never used to let go of my hand if he had the chance to hold it. He would always be making some sort of physical contact with me. I see how he's changed in the way his hair curls, and the way his suit lays on his broader shoulders, and the way his eyes dart across the new environment he's moved into. I suddenly don't even know how to talk to him. I suddenly don't even think I should be in the same car as him, sitting next to him, and then more tears are streaming down my cheeks as those horrible thoughts come to mind.

I tug the keys out of the ignition and reach for the door handle. "Ready to go in?" And without another word or a glance towards me, Spencer pulls open the passenger door and strides towards the entrance.

I always thought that when Spencer got out of prison, it would be an absolute relief. I thought once we cried and hugged and kissed, we would spend some time with the team, and then I'd be able to take him home. I'd be able to take him home and shower him in love and tell him how much I missed him and how much I love him and start dishing out all the affection he missed out the last few months.

I didn't think that he'd hug the team for two seconds upon his return to the BAU, and then they'd go running off in their kevlars. We had gone to his apartment to grab a few things but that was a quick stop and we came right back.

I didn't think that my first day back with Spencer would consist of me watching him pace insistently in the round table room. But here I am, sitting with my legs crossed in the of the rolling chairs while Spencer mumbles to himself and walks the length of the room, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. It's making me crazy, honestly, and he's never paced before. I've always hated pacing. But I know he's anxious about his mom and there's nothing I can do to help.

"Spence?" He barely even acknowledges when I say his name. "Spencer," I say his name a bit sharper, and that's when he stops pacing and looks at me. His hair is disheveled and his eyes are swollen from how he keeps rubbing them.

I beckon him over with a slight wave of my hand, turning the chair beside me towards him. Spencer's chest deflates at my simple and silent request and that hurts, but nonetheless, he throws his body into the seat beside me. "What do you need?" He forces the question out, trying to sound somewhat polite despite his utter panic and stress.

I reach into my pocket and pull out his medallion, staring down at it for a moment before handing it over to him. "I've been carrying it around with me since you got arrested. Haven't taken a step without it in my pocket. Maybe it'll help to, I don't know, ground you? Maybe it won't help at all but I figured it wouldn't hurt you to have it right now."

Spencer reaches forward the grab the medallion from me, and when his fingers brush against mine, it sends a shock up my arm. Gosh, it's like we're touching for the first time all over again. He stares down at it, flipping it around in his fingers a few times before he lets out a long breath.

"Amelia," he practically whimpers, and the sound hurts more than his hostility. He makes a fist around the medallion around me and looks up at me, his eyes rimmed red. "Will you hold me?"

I quickly scramble out of my chair and onto Spencer's lap, wrapping my arms around his neck and resting my head on his chest. We sit like that forever, it seems, just waiting for any word from the team or for them to arrive back here. Spencer stays silent though and just holds my waist, his forehead resting against my shoulder. We stay so still and so silent that I fall asleep in Spencer's embrace. After all, I was woken up at the crack of dawn after a late night with wine and my friends.

I'm shaken awake, though, when Spencer quickly ushers me off his lap and back into the chair I was previously in. He's on his feet in a minute, spewing out a million questions to the team that is filing in with their kevlars still on.

"Where's my mom?" He asks hastily, glancing around the room. When nobody gives him an immediate answer, he slams his hands against the table with every bit of strength he has, and the force is enough to jolt me completely awake and alert. "Tell me! Where is my mom? Is she dead?" I stand, placing my hand on Spencer's arm, but he quickly and easily shakes it off. "Don't touch me!" He shouts, barely even looking at me before returning his attention to his team. "Where's my mom?!"

Everyone in the room is utterly shocked by his explosive behavior, especially me. I'm so shocked that I cower away from him, all the way until my back hits the wall and I'm across the room from him. But nobody pays any mind to me, they're all staring at Spencer.

"Spence, she wasn't there," Emily speaks first, quietly and gently. "We have reason to believe that she's okay, but, um, we got more insight from the house that we need to tell you about. And Amelia, I'm sorry, but I'm gonna have to ask you to leave."

I don't need to be asked twice. I flee from the conference room. I tangle my fingers in my curls and hurry down the ramp, falling into the chair at Spencer's desk, pulling my knees up to my chest again. I pull in deep breaths through my nose and close my eyes, trying to forget the image of Spencer yelling at me and rejecting my comfort.

He's never, ever yelled at me like that. We've been together for two and a half years now and in the two years that we were physically together, we never fought. And in the times that we argued, it was over little things. We argued over missed dates and forgotten chores and broken household items. But Spencer never once raised his voice at me like that and he never pushed me away from him.

I don't know how to deal with him. I've only been in his presence for two hours, at most, and I've already had countless moments of confusion and bafflement. He's different. I should have expected that. But he's so different and I don't know how to help him. I don't know how to calm him down and what I'm supposed to say to him to remind him that he's safe. Am I supposed to say anything at all?

I only lift my head when I start to hear shouting. My eyes dart back towards the conference room where it seems like the team is arguing all amongst each other, shedding their kevlars and throwing them aside. Their anger seems to be mostly towards Emily, but then it momentarily turns to Spencer when he starts speaking, and then it's back to Emily. Rossi is pacing, Penelope is on the verge of tears, and the rest of the team just looks outraged. But oddly enough, Spencer looks calm. He's looked calm this whole time.

And then he lets his gaze linger out to me. He lets himself look out of the conference room to my curled up body, watching helplessly from the outside as the team argues over a matter I can't be involved in. His face softens and even from here, I can see that he sighs. I try to muster up some sort of smile, one that's surely weak and not comforting in the slightest. But at least I offer him something other than crime and arguing.

Spencer turns away from his team and leaves the conference room, taking his time in wandering over to me. I watch his every step, wondering what is going on and why everyone is so up in arms. Maybe I don't even want to know. I'm sure it will just make me mad anyways, especially if it's making Penelope so upset.

Spencer gets to his desk and leans against the edge beside me, breathing out a sigh that's tense and rigid. "I, um--" he clears his throat, putting his hands in his lap and looking down at them, "I'm sorry I yelled at you like that."

I nod at him, reaching forward to wiggle my fingers into his intertwined hands, and he resists at first but lets me hold his hand after a moment. "It's okay, dove. What's going on?"

"Do you remember," he keeps his gaze away from me, "when we first went cloud watching?"

I furrow my eyebrows at him, cocking my head to the side. "Uh, of course I do. We went on a picnic after you had a hard case."

"Do you remember the case?" He asks next like he’s trying to draw out his questions to avoid what he really needs to tell me, and his grip on my hand gets tighter.

"Vaguely," I murmur. "You had to go on a date with a hitwoman and pose as a married man who wanted to kill his pregnant wife. What does that have to do with this? I thought she was in prison, Spence."

"She is," Spencer starts to nod continuously and breaks one of his hands away to rub up and down my arm, a stiff attempt at comfort. "She orchestrated this from prison. Scratch was never involved apparently. She had an accomplice in the free world who did all her dirty work for her, but she ultimately called all the shots. It was her, Amelia," he sighs, and when his hand stops moving, I hear him sniffle. "When the team went to that house just before, they found a message from Cat, she's the hitwoman. She said that if I want my mom back, then I have to go and talk to her."

My eyes widen at his words, and I'm utterly stunned. "What?"

"Me and JJ are leaving in ten minutes. I just came to say goodbye to you, and to tell you I'll be back in a few hours," Spencer never meets my eye. He hasn't this whole time and I don't know if I prefer it that way.

"No!" I exclaim, ripping my hand away from his. The action stuns him and he reaches for me as I pull away, but I'm already standing. "You have to go back to prison? Absolutely not! You just spent three months locked up and going through hell! Send someone else! There's a whole team in that room that's just as smart as you and they can deal with her. I'm not letting you go waltzing right back into prison!"

I turn on my heel and go bounding towards the conference room, but I feel Spencer hot on my heels. He grabs my arm before I can get too far, holding me back. "I know you're upset about this and it's not ideal, but I have to do this to get my mom back."

I turn to him, my eyes filled with tears that I refuse to let fall. "Send someone else." I hiss through my clenched teeth.

"We can't," Spencer responds, and when I try to get out of his grasp, he holds me tighter. "It has to be me. She wants to play her stupid game. I've outsmarted her before and I can do it again--"

"I know you can outsmart her!" I exclaim, pushing his chest, sending him stumbling back a few steps. Our yelling brings the team out of the conference room to check on us but they don't intervene. They just watch us standing on the ramp. They watch me break down for the millionth time.

Spencer groans, running his hands through his unruly hair. "Lia, I--"

"I know you can outsmart her, Spencer!" I shout, hot tears streaming down my cheeks and down my neck, wetting the collar of my tank top. "That's not what I'm worried about! I know that you're smart enough to outsmart every goddamn serial killer that gets on your radar. I've known that since the moment I met you. But I don't--" I choke my words, bringing my hands up to cover my mouth.

I've admitted my feelings to Jenna and to Penelope and somewhat to Dave, but I haven't gotten the chance to speak to Spencer. I haven't been able to tell him how I spent every single moment of his incarceration in fear for his life. Now, I know he had it worse because he was actually experiencing it, but I was in the dark. I couldn't see him and I couldn't talk to him. I was only getting secondhand information from a team of profilers who could have lied to me with ease.

"I can't-" I drop my hands and breathe in a long breath, but it doesn't do anything to slow my rapidly beating heart. "I've spent three fucking months walking around and not being able to see you. I spent three months crying and screaming and cursing the universe for putting you through such intense pain that you don't deserve, because you deserve the motherfucking world, Spencer! And now you just wanna go right back to prison and face some psycho who landed you in a place that had you beat and broken and taken away from me. So I'm sorry that I don't want you to go," I pause again, just staring at Spencer's face. He's giving me a blank face that I can't entirely read. He's never looked at me like this. "I'm sorry that I don't want you to go back to a place that has clearly traumatized you and I'm sorry that I just want to have you here, in my arms so I can hold you and promise you that everything is going to be okay. I'm sorry, okay?"

I push past Spencer and go running off, furiously wiping at my cheeks, but it's a useless attempt. The tears won't stop and I know that. My monologue was also another useless attempt and I know that too. Spencer is going to do absolutely anything in his power to get his mother back. And if that means going to see a serial killer in prison who's clearly obsessed with him, then he'll do it. He's always been that selfless and I used to admire that. But right now I just wish he would listen to me for once.

I throw myself into one of the interview rooms and curl up on the couch, sobbing into my hands. I've just gotten my Spencer back and now he's leaving me to go back to prison. He's getting taken away from me yet again and, after three months of psychological torture, he needs to outsmart a serial killer to save his mother. Can he handle that? He could barely handle asking me to hold his hand in the car. Can he handle a criminally sophisticated serial killer?

The door opens slowly and quietly and then I hear the sounds of Spencer's shoes again. They're dense and heavier than I remember them to be a few months ago. I'm covering my eyes with my hands but I hear him sit down beside the couch I'm on and then his hand reaches out to push my hair behind my ears. My curls bounce back into my face and it makes Spencer chuckle, and that simple sound makes my heart flutter. I want to hear his full-fledged, loud, obnoxious, unhinged, head-tossed-back laugh. I'd do anything to hear that.

"I'm sorry," he whispers, pushing my hair back again and holding his hand on the back of my head. "I know you're unhappy, and I know you're upset and worried and panicked and that you missed me. And I--" he scoots closer to the couch, resting his chin against the cushion, his face right in front of my covered one, "I don't want any of this to be happening either. I wanna go home and finally sleep, and eat something good, and just hold you and-- and cry out my emotions. But I can't do that. I need to do everything I can to save my mom right now. JJ is going to the prison with me and she's gonna make sure everything goes smoothly."

I drag my hands down my face, revealing my tear-stained face to him. Spencer gives me a sad smile, using his free hand to wipe my tears. "Baby?" I whisper.

He hums softly in response, and for a moment, the old him starts to shine through. His tender touch and his soft smile remind me of the person he was. It reminds me of the times we would lay on the couch at night, tangled in a blanket as we eat take-out. Or the times we sit on a freezing cold balcony and shares stories of our days. Or the times we would meet every morning at the same cafe and I could send him off to work with a kiss and a pinky promise to return home safely. This moment gives me just a little bit of hope that the old him is still in him, and that it's just buried deep down.

"Are you gonna be allowed to have your phone?" I murmur, and Spencer nods a tiny bit in response. "Will you just-- can you call me if you need me? I'll keep my phone on me with the ringer on. I know you'll be busy but if you need me, just call me. Even if you just wanna hear my voice, don't hesitate."

Spencer smiles, and I swear, it's the most beautiful sight I've seen in my life. "Of course. I'll always need you, sweetheart."

I grab the hand that's on my face and bring his knuckles to my lips. "I love you so, so much, okay? You got this, dove."

Spencer moves our hands and presses his lips to mine in a gentle kiss. "I love you too. I'm gonna be back as soon as I possibly can be. But, uh, before I leave, can you just do one more thing for me?"

I sit up and look down at him on his knees, running my fingers over his jawline. "Anything."

Spencer reaches into his suit jacket and pulls out a thin, black sharpie. "It's a weird request, I know. But, that tattoo on your hand, could you draw it on me?"

I raise my eyebrows, glancing down at my hand, a small smile playing on my lips. "Seriously?" He nods, thrusting the sharpie in my hand. "Sure, of course. I wouldn't imagine you want it on your hand, where I have it. On your arm? Just on your forearm?" I gesture to my Starry Night tattoo right under the crook of my elbow, for a reference of placement. Spencer starts to push up his jacket and sleeve, leaving me room to draw an identical symbol to the one on my hand. "Spence, you won't even be able to see it."

"I know," he mumbles, watching me draw the little N, "but you can't see the butterfly on the back of your arm. But you know it's there and it makes you think of your mom. I know this is here and it'll make me think of you."

I cap the sharpie and toss it aside, smiling at him. "Be safe, Spencer," I grab his cheeks again, stroking his skin with my thumbs. "You're smarter than her, you know you are. I meant what I said before. You can outsmart every single serial killer out there and you've already outsmarted this one. You can do it again."

He searches my face for something, but I can't quite tell for what. He reaches for my waist, squeezing tightly. Spencer takes in a long breath and closes his eyes. "Please tell me you love me," he whimpers.

"Oh, my darling," I lean forward and rest my forehead against his, closing my eyes too, sinking onto his lap so our bodies can be as close as possible, "Spencer Reid, I love you with every fiber of my being. I love you more than I love myself. My heart beats for you, Spencer. Please, don't ever forget that. I love you and I'll say it until I'm blue in the face. It'll be the first thing I tell you in the morning and the last thing I tell you at night. I just-- I love you."

Spencer doesn't even respond to my second, yet equally dramatic, monologue of the day, but he just presses his lips to mine. The kiss is the fervent and needy we've shared, but that's what we need right now. This is how I would have kissed Spencer if I had the chance to kiss him goodbye before he went away to prison, and even though I know he's going to come back to me, I have so much time to make up for and I need to start now.

"Say it back," I murmur against his lips, turning my head and kissing him again. "Say it back and promise me that you're gonna come back to me in one piece,"

Spencer wraps his arms as tight as he can around my waist and draws me even closer to his body. "I'm gonna come home to you, just like I am right now, I promise," he presses one more long kiss to my lips before pulling away breathlessly. "I love you."

///

"Amelia," Penelope comes bursting into the interview room I never left, a smile on her face, "Spencer and JJ are on their way up."

I jump to my feet, following her out, walking beside her to the elevator. "Is Diana okay?" I ask quickly, pausing beside her when we reach the doors.

"Yeah, Diana is, you know, physically okay. The team got there and we did our magic and Lindsay betrayed Cat and gave up Diana and the team is on their way back with her now," Penelope throws her arms around me, weeping with joy. "Amelia, it's all over. Diana is safe, Spencer is home, everyone is good. It's over."

I sigh into her shoulder, smiling. "Yeah, it's over."

"Whoa, I wanna join in this hug!" We hear JJ's voice from the elevator, and in just a second, she's joined our hug and thrown her arms around the two of us. We laugh, hugging her waist and accepting her into our circle. "Oh, I love you girls. And I can't wait for when things settle down and we can get Tara and Emily and Lisa and Monica and all go out for a girls night. But for now, Amelia, go get him."

I lift my head and I immediately lay eyes on Spencer. He's sitting on the floor beside the glass doors of the bullpen, knees pulled up to his chest and his sobriety medallion in his hand. I give a smile to the girls and unravel from them, heading over to my solemn boyfriend.

I sit on the floor between his bent legs and cross my own legs, grabbing his free hand and intertwining our fingers. He barely even responds to my touch and he just keeps his eyes on the floor. I reach forward and tuck my fingers under his chin, lifting his gaze until it reaches mine. His eyes look dull and he's truly never looked more exhausted. I thought he looked utterly exhausted when he got out of prison this morning, but now it's the middle of the night and he's been working and stressed all day, and the exhaustion is settling in.

His eyes meet mine and I try to give him a smile. "I'm proud of you," I tell him. "I knew you could do it. You saved your mom."

Spencer just stares at me for a moment before he looks down again, and when he shifts his body a bit, my hand falls from his chin. "It was really hard," he whispers. "She was working with one of the correctional officers at my prison, and he managed to get my FBI file with confidential information in it."

"I'm sorry," I whisper back, placing my hands on his knees. "I'm sure that--"

"And she brought you up," he blurts out. "You're in my file because we've been together for an extended time so you’re required to be in there for protection purposes and she brought up your name and I just-- I like, I freaked out. She spoke so horribly about you. She said terrible things about you to throw me off but she doesn't even know you! How could she say those things?" He rambles on, getting more and more worked up.

"Sweetheart," I keep my voice quiet and calm, "you just said it yourself. She was saying it to throw you off. She doesn't know me. She knows absolutely nothing about me. You surely don't think I'm horrible and terrible and that's all that matters. So ignore what she thinks, okay? She's a psychopath."

Spencer looks up at me with red eyes. "She's pregnant." He states a bit too abruptly. "She told me the baby was mine to try to get me to break.”

My eyes widen. "Excuse me?"

"And she tried to tell me that when Lindsay dosed me in Mexico, that Lindsay, you know--" Spencer gulps, "got my DNA. And Cat tried to tell me that she had Lindsay pose as you to get me in the mood."

"But that's not true. That didn't happen," I shake my head, moving closer to him, wrapping my arms around his shoulders. Spencer buries his face in my neck, hugging my waist.

"But I have no way of knowing that. I'm still missing time. She still might have tried to do that. Lindsay might have posed as you," Spencer whimpers and that's a sound that will always break my heart.

"Spencer, listen to me," I pull away again and hold his face in my hands with a delicate grasp. "Cat's ass is still in prison. Lindsay's ass is on her way to life in prison. You're out of prison and you're going to be able to live the rest of your life as a free man. And you saved your moms life and you're about to see her. Those women are out of your life forever, okay? I know it's really hard, but you should try to not even think about them," a small smirk comes to my face. "The only woman you should be thinking about is me."

Spencer chuckles lightly, shaking his head. "You're incredible."

I hold my hands out in a shrug, grinning. "Which is why I should be the only woman you have on your mind. And also the only woman you're having babies with. Spence, we'd have the cutest babies."

He laughs again and lets his head fall back against the wall, staring me up and down. "We would have some cute kids, wouldn't we?"

"The absolute cutest! Genius babies who can read eighty thousand books a day while painting a landscape with their right hand and drawing a bowl of fruit with their left hand. And they--"

"They're here!" Penelope exclaims, running out of the bullpen and waving her phone in the air. "Emily just said they parked and they're coming for the elevator!"

Spencer jumps up to his feet without a second thought or hesitation, and with a second thought, he holds out his hand to help me off the floor. And I keep my hold on that hand, squeezing tightly. JJ and Penelope move to either side of us, and when the elevator doors pop open, I feel Spencer's body tense up.

It's obvious that as Diana steps out of the elevator, she doesn't recognize Spencer. She doesn't recognize any of us, even though JJ has visited her many times and I've visited Diana countless times over the years I've been dating Spencer. And so I squeeze his hand tighter but I know that this is not how he wanted this to go. He wanted to just hug his mom and get the physical affection that he didn't really get as a kid. But she isn't lunging at him and now he's starting to tremble in my embrace.

Emily leans over to Diana and whispers, "It's Spencer," and that's all it takes. Diana looks once more at her son before gasping and the moment she does, Spencer releases my hand and throws his arms around her.

It's the most relieved I've seen him since before this entire ordeal, and I can confidently say it's also the most relieved I've been. I see Spencer smile over Diana's shoulder, his eyelids squeezed shut. "Hi, Mom."

The team starts to disperse to give them their space and to relax after the ridiculously long day. I give everyone tight hugs, thanking them for all their hard work and giving half-assed apologies for how horrible I was acting towards them. I know that no apology will excuse how I acted while Spencer was incarcerated, but I have to try, right?

"Amelia," after a while, Diana comes to give me a hug, letting Spencer breathe for just a split second. "It's good to see you, honey."

"It's good to see you too," I hug her waist. "How are you feeling? Is there anything you need?"

Diana glances between the two of us, shaking her head slowly. "I'm just-- I'm tired,"

"Okay, Mom, well, why don't I get you back to my apartment so you can rest?" Spencer suggests, reaching to wrap his arm around her waist to support her weight.

Diana gives me a side-eye and I return her look. "Actually," she says, putting her hand on his shoulder, halting him from walking her towards the elevator, "Amelia and I had something we wanted to talk to you about."

Spencer narrows his eyes at me and when I wave the two along to one of the interview rooms, he doesn't put up a fight. Maybe he's too tired by now, or maybe he's genuinely interested in what we could possibly have to say. But either way, he ushers his mom onto a couch and then stands a few feet away as I fall into an armchair. He glances between the two of us, then crosses his arms protectively over his chest. "What's this about?"

Diana immediately looks to me to explain, clutching the cardigan around her shoulders. "Okay," I breathe out, turning my head to my confused and concerned boyfriend, "it's no secret that a lot of people, me included, were not fond of Diana living at home with you. So while you were away, I spent some time looking at facilities around here that would take Diana in, and there's one that's ten minutes away from here. I called them when you were working and they said that they would be happy to let Diana move in tonight."

"Spencer," Diana reaches for Spencer's hands and he happily gives them to her, "this is going to be good. I've always wanted to be close to you. This way, you can visit me more often and you don't have to spend money on flights and hotels. Maybe I can get out to see one of Amelia's art exhibits. I don't want any more experimental medicine, honey. I wanna be close to you and to be comfortable and to be happy."

Spencer pouts and he starts to tap his foot on the floor. He's nervous, and rightfully so. He's about to give his mom up again, right after she was abducted by a serial killer team. He looks from his mom to me, then back to his mom, and then to me again. "Did you go to the facility?"

"Yes, sweetheart. Me, Diana, and Cassie went a while ago and we all liked it," I tell him. "She'll be a ten minute drive and a six minute train ride away instead of a five hour plane ride. You can see her every single day if you wanted to."

"And," Diana grins, glancing between us, "when you two get married and have babies, I'll be right here to help you with it."

Spencer lets out a shaky breath, nodding his head hesitantly. "Okay. Let's go."

///

Spencer and I wave goodbye at Diana and then go heading off to my car, hopping in and I start the ignition. I let out a loud yawn, covering my mouth as I buckle my seatbelt. I feel Spencer's hand in my hair and it makes me smile, and as the ridiculously long day comes to a close, I find myself more and more excited to crawl into bed. And then upon further thought, I get even more excited to crawl into bed with Spencer at my side.

"Do you want me to drive?" Spencer asks, dragging his hand to my jawline. "You look exhausted."

"Oh, you should see yourself, bub," I quip, turning on my headlights. "I'll be fine. It's just a ten minute drive back home."

"Hey, wait," Spencer says, reaching for my hand on the wheel. I turn my head to him, smiling tiredly. "Um," he returns my tired smile, "I just wanted to say thank you for doing this. For, you know, finding a facility for my mom. It means a lot to me to know that you care so much about her."

"She's your mom, Spencer. Of course I care about her. I just wanted to help out and make everyone's lives easier," I shrug gently.

"And also," Spencer drops his voice to a whisper and looks down at his voice, "I wanted to thank you for not abandoning me. I don't-- well, I don't have a lot of people in my life and people have a habit of leaving me after they've been around me for a while. But you've stuck with me through the craziness with my mom and through my arrest and through prison when I'm sure there's plenty of guys who are banging down your door and you could--"

"Oh god," I grimace at the thought. "Dr. Reid, I don't wanna be with anyone else but you. I thought I made that clear before. Remember? Sitting in the hallway? We're getting married and having babies, remember? You're my first and only boyfriend and I don't want any other asshole guy who's gonna swoop in and think they're a Know It All. Why would I want a fake Know It All when I have the read deal Know It All right here?"

Spencer chuckles and he turns his hand to intertwine our fingers. "Thank you for waiting for me. And thank you for even coming to the prison. JJ said you were a bit too scared to come in so I appreciate you coming at all."

I choose not to comment about that. It's not the time to talk about this. It's not the time and not the place. We're exhausted and Spencer is fragile and while he needs to eventually talk to someone about his time in prison, it probably shouldn't be me and it probably shouldn't be at 3 am in a parking lot.

"I'll always be waiting for you," I smile in an attempt to move on from that topic of conversation, and when my phone buzzes in my pocket, I quickly pull it out to find Penelope calling me. I just miss the call and see that she already called me three times. "Oh, that's weird."

"Call her back," Spencer says, leaning over my shoulder. "And put it on speaker."

I dial Penelope's number and put my phone on speaker. She picks up after only half a dial tone. "Thank god!" She exclaims. "I feel like I've been calling you for my entire life!"

"My phone was in my pocket, sorry. What's up? Is everything okay?"

"No!" She shouts, and just her sharp tone of voice makes me panicky. "Are you with Reid?"

"I'm right here. On speaker. Garcia, what's going on? Is the team okay? Is it Lindsay or Cat?"

Penelope goes on the explain how Morgan got a text from Penelope about a safe house Spencer was supposed to stay at. It was all completely fake and due to Penelope's super skills, she figured out that her phone number was duplicated by none other than Mr. Scratch himself.

"The team drove out there but it was a trap!"

"Scratch's traps have traps, Garcia, we know that. They should've been prepared. Are they okay?" Spencer's voice gets louder as he gets more nervous.

"Not really. The house wasn't rigged. The street on the way was. There were road spikes and he was watching for when they came. And after they hit the spikes, a truck came and hit them. They all have to go to the hospital. Luke is okay and he's driving me to the hospital right now, and Matt Simmons is here too. But Tara's in shock, Rossi hurt his leg, JJ has glass in her forehead, Emily dislocated her shoulder, and Stephen is-- he's--"

Spencer and I exchange a downcast look as we understand what she can't say. Stephen is dead and it's all Scratch's fault. This man has been terrorizing this team for years and now he's killed a member of their team.

"Okay, Penelope," Spencer murmurs, "we're on our way to the hospital now. Keep us updated." Despite the fact that my phone is in my hand, Spencer hangs it up. He takes it from me and places it into the cup holder, then replaces my phone with his hand. "Amelia," he whispers, "do you want me to drive?"

Silently, I nod. I climb out of the driver’s side and practically waddle to the passenger side, sinking into the seat that Spencer was just in. He starts the engine and drives off, calmer and gentler than I had imagined he would be.

"I'm sorry," Spencer eventually breaks the thick silence, glancing over at me. "I know you liked Stephen and I'm sure you guys got really close the last few months."

My head slowly swivels to him, and I find that, as he should be, he's not looking at me. His eyes are locked on the road and focusing extra hard since it's the middle of the night. But I'd rather have it that way right now. "I'm--" I hesitate before I speak, but I know that now I've opened my mouth, I've sealed my fate, "I'm a horrible person."

I see Spencer furrow his eyebrows. "Huh?"

"I'm a bad person, Spencer, because I'm only kinda upset that Stephen is dead. I'm upset because--" I hiccup, my eyes widening as I try to speak. "Every time I see a dead cop or a dead agent, all I think about is how that could've been you. That dead agent could've been my boyfriend, dead in the field and I'd have to be the one called in to identify his body. I can't imagine how Monica and her kids are going to feel but I just always think about how I'd feel if I was woken up by that call that you were killed in the field.”

"You won't," Spencer answers with a stubborn shake of his head. "I'm careful in the field. I don't want you to worry about me, Lia. I’m gonna be fine.”

///

I can't remember spending much time in emergency rooms. But in the time that I have, they were never this chaotic. There are people everywhere and I'm surprised it's this busy on a Wednesday-into-Thursday at 4 am. But Spencer grabs my hand and takes charge, marching right up to a doctor and demanding he knows where the Behavioral Analysis Unit agents are. And I have to admit, despite how distressed I am, he looks incredibly sexy taking charge like that. But the doctor answered him and pointed to a certain section for the BAU.

"Amelia," JJ sighs of relief as she sees me, reaching a hand out and I quickly grab it, giving her the support she's looking for, "thank you for coming. I'm sure you're so tired--"

"Shh, shh, stop, don't worry about me," I coo, taking on her usual role of the mother figure. "Are you okay? Do you need anything?"

"Um," a few tears fall down her cheeks and she quickly wipes them away, "I haven't called Will yet and--"

"I did that in the car on the way over here, don't worry. He's on his way over," I tell her, fixing the wrapping on her ice pack so it isn't falling off anymore. JJ nods, relieved, and relaxes more into my touch. "Me and Spencer are both here so if you need anything, you just ask either of us, okay? Don't hesitate."

JJ nods, wrapping her free arm around my waist to give me an awkward side hug. "Thank you so much. Go check on everyone else. Emily is right over there and Rossi is refusing treatment, I think."

"Okay, I'll check on you later," I give her one more smile before heading off towards Emily's gurney. She's laying down and her shoulder is covered by a pile of dressings and her face is full of little cuts and bruises. Her eyes widen when she sees me and she reaches her uninjured arm for me. "Hi, Em. Do you need anything? Are you okay?"

"Amelia," Emily chokes out, and just from the way she speaks, I can see that she's in an intense amount of pain. "You should--" she hisses in pain, "should take Reid and go home. He deserves to go home and so do you. You're both exhausted and just got out of prison and you're--"

"We're here to help, Emily. We're not going anywhere until we know you guys are okay," I adjust the ice pack that's on her head and her eyelids flutter, and as badly as I do wish I could take Spencer home, I know that we need to be here to help everyone.

"Go help Rossi. He's being a little bitch about this," Emily responds, making me laugh. "I've got more balls than him. I'm fine. Go."

I laugh at Emily, shaking my head at her stubbornness, but nod nonetheless. I turn on my heel and start to head towards Rossi's little room but before I can get there, I run right into Spencer and Luke.

"Is Dave okay?" I ask, glancing between the two men who tower over me. "JJ and Emily are beat up but they're pushing through."

"Rossi needs us to go back to the BAU to get something for him," Luke says, holding up his car keys. "Me and Reid are heading back now."

My head snaps over to Spencer, eyes widened. Of course, I should have expected this. Why did I think that we would just show up here to help Spencer's teammates and not expect him to get roped into some kind of work? It was a stupid expectation, to be honest. Almost the entire team is down and Scratch is clearly very close to them. They need all hands on deck.

I just nod slowly, letting out a sigh. "Okay. Just be careful, please. Be really, really careful."

"We will be," Spencer nods back at me. He turns to leave, but before he can leave, I grab his wrist. "Amelia," he swivels his head, "we need to go."

"Just," I hold out my pinky, "humor me."

Spencer smiles softly, wrapping his pinky around mine. "We're just going back to the BAU. We're gonna be fine."

"Please let me know when you get there. And if you leave the building," I squeeze his pinky in mine before releasing him completely, waving him away with Luke. And so, I'm left with four injured FBI agents after an attack from an escaped serial killer, and a boyfriend who clearly has PTSD and hasn't slept or eaten in almost two days. I sigh, turning to look in Dave's room, then at JJ and Emily. "Great. Just great."

///

"Will just got here?" Emily asks, adjusting the strap of her sling, her arm now popped into its socket.

"Yeah, he's with JJ now. I think they said they were gonna--" I'm cut off when my phone starts ringing in my pocket. How is this thing not dead yet? I see that Penelope is calling and I swear, for a moment, I don't even want to pick up. She never has anything good to say. "Hi, P. How's it going?"

"H--Hi," she stumbles over her words, sounding a bit distant. "So, um, I'm at the BAU with Matt Simmons and Spencer is here too and Luke went to get Monica, but, um, I think you should come here."

Emily can hear my phone and she gives me a confused look, which I immediately return to her. "Why? Is Spencer okay?"

"He's just--" Penelope pauses. "We all got to work when we got back and he took on a lot of work and then he kicked me and Matt out of the conference room so he could be alone because he said he couldn't focus and he's just getting really frustrated and he looks so angry and-- Amelia, I feel like you're the only one who can bring him down to Earth."

Emily nods in agreement, gesturing towards the door as if to tell me to go. I feel bad leaving the team in the hospital without anyone to help them, someone who's not a nurse, but Spencer is my main priority right now. So I tell Penelope that I'll be there as soon as possible and go rushing out of the hospital and out to my car for the millionth time today.

///

The elevator doors open and the first thing I notice is how quiet the sixth floor seems. I'm so used to it bustling with people who have agendas and schedules and meetings. But now it's the middle of the night and everyone is home resting, where I wish I could be with my boyfriend.

I pull open the glass doors and find Penelope working on a desk with a man beside her, someone I've never seen before. She looks up when I enter, sighing a breath of relief. "Thank god you're here," she gestures towards the conference room where Spencer is furiously pacing and is clearly talking to himself, waving his hands back and forth. "He's only gotten more worked up since I called you."

"You're Amelia?" the man steps forward, holding his hand out. "I'm Matt Simmons."

"Yeah, Amelia," I nod, shaking his hand politely with a tight smile. "I'm Spencer's girlfriend. I believe I've heard him mention in the past before actually. You have four kids, right? Bless your--"

I'm completely cut off by a loud banging, and the three of us look up in time to see Spencer hurling a book at the glass panel in the conference room. There isn't even a moment of hesitation before we're rushing towards him, pushing open the door and approaching him.

"B-CAP," Spencer states, his hands digging into his eyes. He starts rattling off something about what this plant is, where it's from, and how to find it. Matt responds and Spencer nods, and there's no chance I'll understand what they're talking about, but that's not my main focus. Spencer drops his hands from his eyes and then glances between the three of us. "Why are you staring at me?"

"You," Penelope whispers, "you throw a book at a window. It was jarring."

"Yeah, well," Spencer scoffs, turning his back to us, "it took me thirty minutes to deduce what should have taken me thirty seconds. And if Scratch gets away and more people die because of it, then I'll be throwing a lot more than books," He leans his hands against the conference table and hangs his head, taking labored breaths.

I quickly usher Penelope and Matt out of the room, closing the door behind them. Penelope gives me a concerned look over her shoulder but I just give her a smile in return. Nothing can provide comfort right now, but I'm really trying.

Spencer hasn't moved when I turn back to him so I creep forward and reach for his waist. The moment my fingers make contact with his body, he completely jumps out of his skin and cowers away from me, as if he hadn't even realized it was me touching him.

I retract my hands as he backs away from me, holding them up in the air so he can see there's no foul play going on. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I apologize quickly. "I just-- I just wanted to help. I'm sorry, I didn't think you'd--"

"I can't let him get away!" Spencer is shouting again, waving his hands around frantically. "He's been getting away for too long! He's so close and I can let him--"

"Dove, I know it's hard," I step closer to him and when he doesn't cower away again, I move closer again. "I know you wanna catch Scratch and you absolutely will. But you need to rest. You haven't slept in who knows how long, you haven't eaten, you haven't showered, you haven't changed your clothes. You--" I let out a breath and just gently hold my hands out to him in the hopes that he'll grab them, and when he doesn't, I keep them there as a silent, continuous invitation, "you're a little burnt out, Spence. I know you wanna work and that you wanna help your team, and I admire you for that, but--"

"Rossi reinstated me," he tells me stubbornly, a switch flipping him back to seriousness and away from fear as he walks back over to the whiteboard. "In the hospital, he said I'm fully reinstated for right now and that I need to help out. I'm doing what he asked."

"Spencer," I snap, crossing my arms over my chest, "Rossi was fucking delirious. JJ told me that he told you to get tickets for a baseball game."

"It was code," Spencer retorts, picking up the book from the floor like it wasn’t the object he took his aggression out on and starting to read. "I'm not stopping."

"Fine," I give up, marching over to him, taking the book out of his hands and putting it aside, "keep working then, but I'm not leaving."

Spencer's face solidifies and he gets serious again. "You should leave. You haven't slept or eaten either and--"

"I'm not leaving until you leave. So I'm gonna get on this fucking table and go to sleep and you can join me if you'd like. But I'm not leaving you, Spencer, I told you that. I'm not abandoning you," and with that, I strip off my coat and climb on top of the conference room table, balling up the coat like a pillow and laying down. And with the crazy events of the day, I fall asleep right away, despite being on a table and despite having my unhinged boyfriend in the same room.

When I eventually wake up again, I'm in a different room. I'm not laying on a hard table but instead, I'm in an interview room on a couch. It takes me a moment to get used to my surroundings, but when I do I realize that I'm covered by Spencer's suit jacket and that my hand is clutching his sobriety medallion.

His absence quickly dawns on me and I gasp, sitting up and rubbing my eyes. I search for my phone to check the time and realize it's not on me so I stumble out of the interview room and towards Penelope's office. But before I can even get there, I find her wandering towards the elevators with her heels in her hand and her phones in her other.

"Amelia! You're awake!" She exclaims, grinning. "Come! The team is just coming up."

"What did I miss? What happened? Where's Spencer?" I ramble on tiredly as she drags me away.

"We got a hit on where Scratch was. Spencer, Luke, Matt, Emily, and JJ all went to the warehouse that he was at. They're coming back," she says as we pause in front of the elevators.

"Did they get Scratch?" It wasn't a necessary question. Penelope would have led with that information if it were true. I knew they wouldn't have captured Scratch. It's too easy. She doesn't answer.

The elevator doors open and the team files out in their kevlars with their guns on their hips, and Spencer comes out last. He gives me a tiny smile, his hands tucked in his pockets. He doesn't even make an effort to hug me when he approaches me, just stands close enough that I can feel his breath on me.

"Don't you ever," I sneer, pointing my finger at him, "leave to chase a serial killer without telling me. Don't you ever do that again."

Spencer nods shamefully, chewing his bottom lip. "You were so tired that I thought I could get there and back without you waking up. I almost did."

I breathe in a long breath, shaking my head. "You were close. I woke up two minutes ago," Spencer nods in response, staring down at the floor. Everyone is walking away now, discarding their vests and guns and reaching for their car keys. "Can--" I gulp, "can I hug you?"

Spencer nods and pulls his hands out of his pockets, sliding them around my back and pulling my body flush against his. I hug his waist tight, and despite the harsh lines of the kevlar, I melt into his embrace and close my eyes. Spencer rests his head on the top of mine, starting to hiccup as tears stream down his cheeks. "Amelia?"

"Yes, my dove?" I quip in response.

"Can you bring me home now?"

I let out a breath. A breath that releases all the bad energy and all the horrible events of the past few months. Because even though Scratch has escaped, the BAU will catch him, there's no doubt of that. But my Spencer is coming home finally, and he's here to stay.

"It would be my absolute pleasure."

  TAGLIST

@babybloodstonebones @bxnnywriting @blameitonthenight21 @feralreid @anepiphany @reidscardigan @itsmyblogandillreblogifiwantto @4x24 @whollytaciturn @thegingerfairchild @yasminwashere @shrimpyblog @anamelessfacelessnerd​ @wonderlandhatter​ @whxt-to-write​ @inkandexchange​ @just-call-me-non​ 

[lollybliz]

bout to make a Monster of a fic rec post here we go

heyo @jinx108! We’ll start with the complete ones because sometimes you’re just not in the mood to wait for the last chapter, you know? I don't remember details of all of these so i’m just going to copy the author’s summary rather than write my own. I am literally just going through my bookmarks, I got 400 of these to sort through. if ive talked to or am familiar with the author im gonna mention them, but if I mention you and you don't want me to have Please tell me and i’ll remove it.

If you’re not into spoilers Please Tread Carefully, I don't watch out for that stuff so I wont know to label it

1>Crushing Truth by Bunzuku: Tododeku. “Romance is hard enough for a teenager to understand when they have a good relationship role model. For Shoto, it takes two excited meddlers for him to even realize what his feelings really are.“

2>Disowned by b00mgh: tododeku + others. Unrated, some traumatic elements. “Shouto freaks out under a bridge and I use the word "grass" a lot more than I really should. Izuku does his stupid martyr thing and everyone makes continuous references to his propensity to break his bones. Aizawa goes "oh FUCK my kids are dying again" and his students use him as emotional (and physical) support. A friend requests angst, I say what kind, she say idk make someone get disowned and i say oh this I can absolutely provide my good buddy.”

3>cotton candy hands by @chonideno: Kiribaku. I will take Any excuse to rec this fic, its the most fluffy pile of feels Good Lord. also the first fic I ever bound into a physical book. “Studying to become a hero requires knowing how to take care of yourself. Sometimes you might need help on the way so if your crush offers to do your hair for you or to give you a well-deserved back rub, it'd be stupid to say no. A series of soft vignettes in which a love-struck Kirishima and a touch-starved Bakugou care for each other and it's definitely not making their hearts jump through hoops, they’re never this close to kissing, no, they're totally best friends bro“

4>Catching Sight of the Storm by neo7v: Kiribaku, tododeku. A considerable amount of Whump and related angst, and kinda sad tbh. “Blind. Quirkless. Useless.The first two things were stated clearly by the doctor that sat about five feet in front of Izuku. The third was a word that Kacchan called him everytime he failed to make the jump on whatever forest excursion they were on or when he ran into a tree because he hadn’t seen it. “I’m so, so sorry, Izuku.” Was his mom giving up on him already? But he could still be a hero if he tried hard enough, right? Quirkless or not. Blind or not. Just because Izuku was useless now didn’t mean he would stay that way forever, right? *** A Blind!Izuku AU”

5>Yell Heah by fakecharliebrown: Chatfic. M a n y pairings. technically complete, but part of an ongoing series. “Iida creates a group-chat for Class 1-A. It doesn't go as planned.“

6>Sunshine by Rosey_Note: BIG SAD. tw- failed suicide attempt. KiriKamiBaku. “They didn't deserve to put up with his crappy mood. Because Denki Kaminari did not feel like Sunshine right now. And they deserved sunshine. In fact, Denki didn't feel much of anything right now.“

7>Electric Connection by  Onlymostydead: ShinKami. “Kaminari's quirk has always had... Weird side affects. Like his ADHD. And his constant energy. And his insomnia, which wouldn't leave him be right now, when he really needed to just get some sleep. But, thankfully, he has good friends.“

8>The Best (The Worst) by Onlymostydead: no romantic pairing. tw- rampant transphobia, both outside and internalized. “Bakugou Katsuki has known who he was since he was four years old. He was a boy, it was as simple as that. Around his friends, at school... But things couldn't just be that simple, could they?“

9>Lichtenberg Figures by Q_loves_you: no definite romantic pairing. “Kaminari Denki has a very powerful force of nature running through his body. Kaminari Denki doesn't want to hurt anybody. He doesn't always get what he wants, and "anybody" does generally include himself.“

10>Eventuality by KikaTouka: ill be honest I don't remember this one at all, I maaaay not have read it yet :/. anyway. ShinKami. “Shinsou learns more than just hero lessons after being transferred to 1-A.“

11>Pickup Lines for the Soul by MustardSoup: ShinKami. “Denki is twelve when he is flicking through the TV channels and lands on an old RomCom movie about soulmate marks – specifically the same type that he has. “I can’t believe I’ve had to walk around with a cheap pickup line written on my ankle my entire life because of you!” The leading lady yells at the leading man as he stares at her in awe. Denki laughs. “Oh no.” His mother says, watching him. “Oh no, indeed.” His sister repeats quietly.“

12>caught in my own web by @anxioussailorsoldier: ShinKami. “Shinsou needs some help after getting caught up in his capture weapon. Kaminari enters from stage left.“

13>not so summer love by nataliya: ShinKami. “Class 2-B’s common room, although typically quiet, was currently filled with five students—three slowly giving up on homework, one bitching about noise and another that rushes through the front door. “We’ve been waiting for you—” Mina starts, but Kaminari’s vaulting over the back of the couch, eyes wide as he practically buzzes out of his skin, emitting light like crazy as currents dazzle across strands of hair. “I have a big ugly crush,” He steps off the couch and onto the coffee table, much to Bakugou’s chagrin, “On big ugly Shinsou.””

14>Blamed by coldandhotsoba: ShinKami. Tw- they fuckin kill a guy and its a lil nasty. “This was not how the day was supposed to end. They were supposed to end the day like they do most nights.  Kaminari clutching onto him like a koala as he slept, wrapped in the millions of tacky blankets Kaminari had bought. Warm and safe in their bed. It was not supposed to end with both of them tied up in some cold metal room.“

15>Lightning Scars by Present-Mics-Scream (write_your_way_out): Shinkami. “It's hard to be confident in your abilities when you're surrounded by people with incredible quirks. Shinsou Hitoshi would know better than anyone. Sure, he was admitted to the hero course in his second year, but being admitted to the hero course, and keeping up with the rest of the class are two different things. Lucky for him, Kaminari is there to prove that the flashiest quirks come with the largest drawbacks.“

16>See No Evil, Hear No Evil by randomfan188: no romantic pairing. “Kaminari Denki is legally blind. When he forgets to wear his contacts and breaks down during math class, comfort appears in the strangest of ways.“

17>how not to enjoy the weather, an article by kaminari denki by dreamtowns: no defined romantic pairing. “If there was one thing Kaminari hated the most in a world wth villains, it would have to be thunderstorms.“

18>”Studying” by emmyrox22: ShinKami, EraserMic. “Shinsou and Kaminari have been “studying” together for a while (but not for school). Shinsou gets stopped by his dads on the way to another “study” session and mistakes are made“

19>Weaknesses by sunflowerstorm: ShinKami. “Kaminari's quirk and storms compliment each other in the worst way, but he's convinced he can deal with it on his own... until he really can't any longer. When Shinsou accidentally overhears Aizawa confronting Kaminari about recent changes in behaviour and hears about the hell his quirks been putting him through, he can't just pretend he never heard. He wants to help.“

20>it’s hurt denki hours by memeingfultrash: ShinKami + others. ““Certain members of our class are...under the impression that...you’re the traitor.” Denki’s body went cold and felt like he was going to short circuit. ~some of class 1a believes that denki is the traitor and avoid him”

21>Petition to replace Mineta with Shinsou- (signed by Kaminari Denki) by CharaTheQuartz: ShinKami + others. This is one of my favorites, I go back to reread it from time to time. It SAYS 41/42, but that's just a glitch cus chapter 36 doesn't exist for some reason, I talked to the author about it and its fine. “Mineta brings shame to the color purple. You know who does not bring shame to the rich color, but pride and sexual tension to one infatuated Kaminari Denki instead? Shinsou Hitoshi, aka sexy zombie man, aka the most perfect hunk of a man to walk planet earth, aka future husband. Shinsou has finally gotten his chance to prove himself to the hero course, and he did more than prove himself. The only question left unanswered is whether he will start in A or B, and how Kaminari can manipulate the end result.“

22>How to Get a Boyfriend (in Four Easy Steps!) by e1ana: ShinKami, EraserMic, + others. “Step 1: Get kicked out of the house by your homophobic parents. Step 2: Run headfirst into your brooding, mysterious crush. Step 3: Sleep in his dad’s (see: your homeroom teacher) house Step 4: Watch everything you thought you knew go to shit. This isn’t exactly the sweet, romantic plan that Kaminari Denki longed for. Will everything be ok, or will step 5 be to crash and burn?“

23>Bakugou and Todoroki’s Foolproof 5-Step Plan to Fuck with Mineta Minoru by Anubis_2701: Kiribaku, TodoDeku, + others. This is another one of my favorites, and the one I am currently folding and sewing into a physical book. you learn how to do funny things when bored and quarantined ig. “It was a simple enough idea; screw around with the resident bastard of Class 1-A to let him know that his medieval ways and perverted behaviour weren't going to be tolerated by even the most career-focused of UA's students. To say that things had snowballed was an understatement. Todoroki had no idea how he had ended up sitting on Bakugou's floor at 1 am, holding a dossier of incriminating material that would make the FBI slobber, but he wasn't sure he wanted to know. The long and short of it was, fuck Mineta.”

24>Colour Theory by chancellorxofxtrash: TodoBakuDeku. this one’s a series. “Midoriya/Bakugo/Todoroki slow burn soulmate AU. All three of them are nerds with their own emotional issues, trying to navigate their way through becoming heroes, and their own relationship with each other.“

25>Summer Sunshine by Mara97: TodoDeku. Ever want a Barbie in a mermaid tale/Bnha crossover? No? well here you go anyway! “Instead of worrying about college, Izuku spends his summer vacation finding out his father is, supposedly, a dead merman king and going on a quest to dethrone the current king, Endeavor. Along the way, Izuku becomes close to the three journeying with him, makes friends with strangers, starts crushing on an unattainable prince, and, in the end, learns to love himself. Oh, and he saves a kingdom, too.“

26>The snowflakes on our skin and the flames in our soul are one (and the same), my love by missunderstuffyou: TodoDeku, Kiribaku. this is one of the ones I keep a running reread comment going on. its at,,, 6, atm.  “Before your quirk begins to present itself, the soulmate link comes through, and suddenly whatever you write upon your own skin appears on the body of your soulmate. As your soulmate writes to you, the emotions they feel follow through the ink.Izuku Midoriya is four years and a few months old when he first feels the slight ebbing in his arms. It doesn’t hurt… he can just feel something, and it’s enough to make him sprint into his mother’s arms screaming that his quirk is coming. She had been washing in the kitchen, and the sudden screech as her son rockets into her side is enough to make her jump with panic, immediately grabbing at him and looking for cuts and bumps before she understands his words and the stupidly bright, alight smile on his face with large, watery, hopeful eyes. Shoto Todoroki doesn’t feel his soulmate connection open up. It is drowned in the aches of a small body worked far too hard.“

27>It was dark inside the closet by Chad_Champion69420: Pre-ShinDeku? maybe? its tagged shindeku but like. it’ll make sense if you read it. “Midoriya is invited to a party. He and Shinsou decide to play a little trick on the rest of the party during Seven Minutes in Heaven.”

28>how to woo your local trash gremlin: a comprehensive guide by Todoroki shouto by wonhaebunny: TodoBaku. this is the fic that dragged me into todobaku, fun fact. “five times shouto tries to confess to bakugou, and one time he doesn't bother tryingaka: wikihow is a scam and bakugou is a terrible, terrible boy“

29>top ten photos taken right before disaster by Shookspeare: ShinDeku. “Izuku participates in a harmless prank, only to end up ruining it and running for dear life.“

30>Secrets to Share by pechebaie: no definite romantic pairing. “Kirishima comes out first, and nothing changes. Kirishima and Kaminari still hang out to complain about class and talk about boys - and sometimes girls, too, in Kaminari’s case; he still plans stupid pranks with Sero that get them sent to the principal’s or nurse’s office every time; Ashido still kicks his ass at Mario Kart without hesitation; and Bakugou doesn’t get angry at him any more than he usually does.“

31>What One Hides by Pinalinet: TodoDeku. “All Might gives class 1-A an unusual assignment that results in Midoriya Izuku and Todoroki Shouto attending a weekly acting class. But with a mysterious villain targeting individuals without Quirks, and a developing issue of Todoroki's own, an after-school assignment is the least of their worries.“

32>whether or not we’re fated, we’re meant to be by juurensha: KINDA SPOILERY. TodoDeku + others. “Todoroki didn’t have a soulmark for most of his life.His siblings all did, but up until the day of the U.A. entrance exam, he had shoved the idea aside. It’s not like they could help him anyway. And then a 9 appears on his chest, and a green-haired boy barrels into his life with a fire and ice soulmark on his arms, and suddenly Todoroki cares very much about all this could mean.”

33>The Midnight Shift by meiishu @meiishu @totallytodoroki (idk which you’d rather I attach so I went with both): ShinKami. ““Hey Toshi,” Denki says, and he laughs, clearly embarrassed. He’s got on a jean jacket that did him absolutely no help and a white tee shirt that is currently stuck to his torso. It’s got a pikachu design in the center. “By any chance, do you sell umbrellas?” “You really went out in this weather.” Hitoshi deadpans, instead of dignifying that with an answer. or hitoshi works the midnight shift at the gas station, which also doubles as a pokestop for pokemon go. of course, denki is a regular.”

34>Rock the House by AkabaneKayo: ShinKami. “It wasn’t just his bed. It was his entire fucking room shaking. Only one thought crossed his mind at that moment: “Holy shit. My room is haunted.”“

35>Technically, they’re morning kisses by CharaTheQuartz: ShinKami. “Most nights, Shinsou cannot fall sleep. Neither can Kaminari. It seems counterproductive to have a sleepover then, but they try to make it work. And they fail, but that is okay.“

36>someone to call mine by nearly_theyre: ShinKami, EraserMic “From: Me wish you were here, denks From: kitten 💛💘💛 what if i was tho? OR Four times Denki snuck into Hitoshi's room and one time he walked through the front door.“

37>Pretty by Onlymostydead (noticing some repeat authors? me too): no definite romantic pairing. “(Or, Kaminari still can't figure out bra clasps.) Kaminari has never really felt good about himself. Herself? Whichever way, not knowing doesn't make anything easier. Especially when he (she?) and Mina have their bodies swapped during training, and everything seems too right.“

38>If I offer you my hand, will you take it? by bleukitsune: Kiribaku. SPOILERY. ““Why?” Kirishima leaned back on his hands, trying to create some space between them. Too close. The ash-blond looked really nervous, his usually arrogant and cunning demeanor gone. “What do you see when you look at me? Kirishima is worried. Bakugou is hurting. After his confrontation with Midoriya, he finally reaches out to him. “

Theres way more but I haven't tagged them properly yet so that m a y come later if I can ever finish going through and adding my sorting tags.

and then a last few that Are Not Complete but im really very fond of them. not as many as id like to add, but my hands are getting tired tbh.

39>State of Mind by GuardianOfTheLoaf: no relationship YET but its looking like it’ll be either tododeku or shindeku, probably the former. EraserMic. tw- childhood neglect and severe depression. Izuku’s not a happy kid. “Izuku was a late bloomer, his quirk lying dormant until his tenth birthday when in a fit of emotion he grabs his mother and she disappears. With All Might slowly restoring his confidence Izuku begins the difficult journey into becoming a hero.“ 18/? chapters.

40>Izuku Eats His Problems by CosmicAce: ShinDeku. Izuku’s a flerkin, what more could you want? “His whole life, Izuku Midoriya was taught to keep his powers, his Quirk, hidden from the world. His kind were feared, hunted to near extinction because of it. He just wants to show people he’s different. That he can be a HERO. And nothing is going to stop him. Even if his Quirk IS like an eldritch abomination.“ 43/? chapters

and then probably my current favorite bnha fic- although it fights with Apertum Mortem for that spot but that ones d a r k and not here-

41>family of the year by periiwren: EraserMic. “Hitoshi is done. Done with moving around every few months to a couple that will scrutinize him and eventually dump him right back where he started. Good thing he’s well past his strike limit now- at least he can stay in one place, be content to age out of the system and finish out his training with Aizawa. Maybe transfer into the hero course, maybe be a hero- but none of that was guaranteed. The only thing for sure was that he was going to stay in that center for the rest of his childhood. Or so he thought- because Aizawa Shouta and Yamada Hizashi have other plans.“ 24/? chapters. we’ve been informed that this one’s gonne be l o n g and im Very Grateful.

42>Here There Be Dragons by here_and_there: pre-ShinDeku. “Izuku looked at the small circle Aizawa had motioned to in front of them. "I won't fit," he whispered, thinking. He raised his hand, tentatively. Sighing, Aizawa grumbled, "What?" "I-I have a question. Actually, two." His teacher just stared at him, unimpressed. Izuku continued. "Can we activate our quirks before we step into the ring?" Aizawa looked up into the sky, muttering something Izuku didn't hear. "If you must." "O-Okay. Uh, second question. You said we have to stay inside the circle, right?" "Yes." The man looked disappointed, not only in Izuku but in himself for letting the kid speak. "Great. Uh... does that include tails?"“ 6/? chapters.

43>Another Option by sandersonsister: TodoBakuDeku, Touya/Hawks, Dabi/Hawks. Potentially Spoilery, depends on whether horikoshi has the guts to confirm Touya. this one is waiting around the corner with a baseball bat, its really cute, and then r e a l l y painful. it might be getting better though. maybe. it might be getting worse. “When Touya stops his mother from hurting Shouto, he decides enough is enough. He needs to get out of this house and he's taking his baby brother with him.“ 33/? chapters.

That's it i’m done for now, oof. maybe ill edit more onto this post later, maybe i’ll just make another one. hope some of these work!

[probably-writing-x]

It had to be you.

Guzmán x Reader

Request by anon: I love your writings, I was wondering if I could request a guzman x reader where lu constantly ambushes the reader cause she knows guzman is in love with the reader and then guzman and lu end up breaking up cause he finally chooses the reader. Something within those lines, hope it’s not so much of a hassle! Keep writing ❤️❤️

Gif is not my own

Requests are open 🤍

“Guzmán, can you focus please?” Lu snaps her hand in front of him, “Or at least listen to me for a minute?”

“I’m sorry, but I have bigger things to worry about than your petty drama with your family,” Guzmán sighs, shaking a hand over his hair. 

“Are you kidding me?” Lu scoffs, “So you ignore me all weekend and then you act like I’m a pain for talking to you about my life?” She reaches up and fixes the lapels of his jacket. 

“I’ll talk to you later, Lu,” He pushes his hands away from her, grabbing his bag from where it was at his feet and hurrying to catch up with the person he’d been waiting for. 

You’re walking down the corridor at a pace quick enough to just about make it to class in time. 

“Hey, (Y/n), you doing okay?” He asks, tapping you on the shoulder. 

“Oh, hey Guzmán,” You smile, “I’m okay, are you?”

“Good. Do you have my notes from Chemistry? I need them for first period,” He comments, slinging his bag over one shoulder.

“Yeah, shit, um, thank you for those. I really appreciate it,” You nod, grabbing them from your things and handing them back to him, “you’re a lifesaver.”

“Are you kidding?” He laughs, “It’s the least I could do.”

He steps aside to let you into the class first and follows close behind you. You two hadn’t ever spent much time together before recent times but you’d found something in him that you hadn’t expected. You’d always been at Las Encinas but tried your best to keep yourself out of the typical group in your year. That was until everything happened with Marina, and Guzmán went through the type of loss he could never prepare himself for. You, in fact, had some experience in the area - after losing your brother only two years before. When Guzmán had confided in you, you’d found it impossible to say no to him, he was like a completely different person. 

“Hey, I was actually going to ask you,” He stops you yet again, scratching the back of his neck, “Are you free again tonight?”

“Yeah, sure, usual spot?” You smile, “I’ll see you later.”

“(Y/n)! Looks like you can get more conversation out of him than his own girlfriend can,” Lu speaks up, walking into the class with a smirk plastered across her face. 

“We’re just talking Lu,” You sigh, setting down your books and sitting in your designated chair.

“And what could be so important that it’s got him so occupied at the minute?” Lu scoffs, “Because honey, I don’t think you’ve had much interest in your life for the past seventeen years.”

“Lu, stay out of it. This has nothing to do with you,” Guzmán snaps, glaring at her before offering you an apologetic smile. 

“Nothing to do with me?” Lu laughs, “Fucking hell Guzmán, you’re spending more time with the fucking introvert than you are with your own girlfriend!”

“Lu, not now. I’m sorry (Y/n).”

You shake your head as means of dismissing his concern as he follows her back to their seats, ignoring her advances as she settles a hand on his thigh. 

You’d never intended on getting close to Guzmán and getting in the way of his and Lu’s relationship - you’d never tried to flirt with him or cause any problems. But apparently that just came with association.

- - - - - -

As you’re leaving school that day, you’re stopped before you can reach the car, as Lu grabs your arm and turns you to face her.

“Okay, darling,” She beams, glancing over her shoulders before turning to you with a deathly glare, “What’s going on with you and Guzmán?”

“Nothing Lu, it’s nothing,” You sigh, trying to push her off.

“Nothing? Then what’s with all the secrecy? Why do I see you together all the time? You were never interested in stealing my boyfriend before.”

You push her hand off, “And I’m still not interested in stealing anything or anyone. Maybe you need to think about being there for your boyfriend and supporting him instead of concerning yourself in matters that don’t mean anything.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“And I think that’s the problem, darling,” You roll your eyes, walking the rest of the way to the car and leaving her stood with a vacant stare in your direction.

It was true. She was so caught up in you that she’d completely forgotten about Guzmán in this whole situation.

- - - - - -

“Alright, I got your favourite this time,” Guzmán grins as he climbs the ladder up to the top of the bell tower and sets down some cans of drink, “And... I got snacks too.”

“Wow, you treat me so well,” You joke, “Try not to eat all the pretzels this time though.”

He shuffles on the wooden floor to sit beside you and lean back against the bench behind your backs, “Hey, listen, I’m sorry about Lu.”

“Oh, no, that’s okay,” You shake your head, “It’s not your fault. And I can see why she’d be jealous, I guess.”

He scoffs, “I don’t think she can stand the idea of me spending any time with anybody but her. I don’t even remember the last time we had a real conversation, that wasn’t about her or school or some petty drama she wants to involve herself in.”

“But she cares about you, that’s at least something,” You point out, “And she’s attractive.”

Guzmán laughs, “I used to think that was enough, maybe it’s only recently that I’ve realised it isn’t.”

You sit in silence with him for a moment as you ponder the thought. You didn’t like the idea of him wanting to change his whole life based on the few months you’d spent knowing him. But damn did you love the idea of being the one who he loved.

“I really appreciate you being here for me recently, I guess I sort of threw all of this onto you,” Guzmán smiles sincerely.

“Oh don’t be ridiculous, you’ve helped me just as much as I’ve helped you. Losing a sibling isn’t easy, and it’s even harder to go through that alone - whatever I can do to help you, you know that,” You assure him, “Besides, you always bring decent food.”

He chuckles, “A lot has changed in a few months, huh?”

“It doesn’t have to change much Guzmán. I know you’ve changed ever since you lost Marina, but Lu is there for you. She might not seem like it sometimes but it’s clear, even in her ambushing me, she does seriously care about you. She loves you, and she’s always there,” You point out, “There’s no reason why that should change.”

“No reason, yeah?” He smirks a little, “If you say so (Y/l/n).”

- - - - - -

The following day, you’re once again minding your own business at school. You’d spent the morning with Nadia revising for an exam and were now sat by one of the window seats reading up on some literature for class.

“Spending the evening with my boyfriend and you seriously want to tell me that nothing’s going on?” Lu’s voice sounds loud and clear from across the corridor, “You bitch!”

You glance up and set the book aside, sighing as you turn to focus on her.

“Who do you think you are? Walking around like you’re so innocent, so nice - when really all you want to do is to take what’s mine.”

“That’s not what’s happening Lu, even though I know it looks that way. I get it. But that’s not the case,” You shake your head, “Guzmán... he just needs help, support.”

“And you don’t think I can give that to him?”

“No, not at all. I think you’re more than capable. But sometimes you need to speak to someone who gets it, who’s been through it. And that’s what it’s like for us - you dont know what it feels like to lose someone like that Lu.”

She looks down at her feet, “I think in the process of you being his knight in shining armour, he’s started realising he doesn’t love me anymore. Maybe he never did.”

“I don’t know if that’s the case, or if it ever will be. But you’re playing a game that I don’t want to play. I never wanted to get between you and Guzmán, I never meant for any of this. I’m sorry Lu, but I was just being a good friend to him - anything that changed with you two wasn’t my doing.”

You collect your things and step past her, heading down the corridor quickly to avoid the stares in your direction. You’re only stopped as Guzman’s hand holds your arm.

“Hey, what’s going on? Everything okay?” He frowns, glancing momentarily at the people around, “Why’s everybody staring at you?”

“I’m sorry Guzmán, I cant do this anymore. I’m not getting involved in your whole whatever-this-is between you and Lu. Helping you out wasn’t supposed to destroy your relationship in the process, and it certainly wasn’t meant to make me your girlfriend’s worst enemy,” You shake your head, “I’m sorry but I can’t do it.”

You pull away from him and leave him dumbfounded in the middle of the corridor, swallowing the lump in his throat as he watches you walk away. God, that was never his intention. He’d just found someone in you that listened, that understood, that engaged with him when he spoke about Marina. Amongst that, he’d found someone that he’d always been missing when he saw you. He found someone funny, honest, caring, intelligent, and so certain of her future that she near enough convinced him that he could be successful too. He didn’t want to hurt Lu. But the pull he felt towards you was too powerful to ignore.

“Lu,” He quickly blurts out as he sees her storming past, “I think we need to talk.”

- - - - - -

“Well, I think this is the most we’ve spoken in a long time,” Lu scoffs as she sits down beside him on the bench, “Do you want to explain yourself Guzmán?”

“You need to stop being so harsh on (Y/n), none of this is her fault.”

“None of this? None of her spending every day with my boyfriend behind my back and knowing more about him than I do at the minute?” She scoffs, “Don’t act like she’s so innocent.”

“It’s not like that Lu,” Guzmán tuts, “She’s... she’s been there for me.”

“And I’m not?”

“No, no, you are. But (Y/n)... she understands. She can sympathise and relate to how I’ve been feeling. She’s helped me deal with losing Marina in a much better way than I would’ve done.”

“I don’t get it Guzmán. You barely spoke to the girl before this.”

“Exactly! I mean she’s been at school with us for years but it felt like I barely knew her. There’s so much more to her than I’d ever expected,” Guzmán smiles fondly, “She’s complex and sh-“

“I get the idea,” Lu rolls her eyes, “Why couldn’t you just tell me?”

Guzmán pauses. Why didn’t he just tell her? Tell her that he was seeking help, that he was doing it for the right reasons. He could’ve explained himself and explained that they were just friends. Instead, he sat here now with every intention of ending things with Lu.

“You like her, don’t you?” Lu states, “I know that look, it’s the same one you used to give me.”

“I never meant for any of this Lu,” Guzmán shakes his head, “But I’m different when I’m around (Y/n)... I can’t explain it but I like who I am when I’m with her.”

“You don’t have to explain yourself, it’s the same way I feel about you. And deep down I know you’ve never felt that way with me.”

“Lu...”

“Go, go and find her. We both know you want to.”

- - - - - -

You weren’t exactly sure why you’d come back to the bell tower, maybe because you partially hoped that Guzmán would still find you here. It was a weird mix of hoping to never get involved in his life again and also wanting nothing more than for what Lu said to be true.

Just then, you hear the sound of the hatch opening as Guzmán ascends the ladder and pushes himself up.

“Hey,” He says in relief as he sees you, “I hoped you’d be here.”

“Did you bring food?”

He laughs and shakes his head, “I have to talk to you (Y/n).”

You shuffle to make room for him beside you as he sits down, both of you silent as you look out at the sun in preparation to set.

“I spoke to Lu,” He states after some time, “I think we both needed to clear up a few things.”

“Yeah? Are you two back to being okay now?”

“Not exactly,” He laughs, “Or maybe just a different definition of okay.”

You look at him and frown, trying to keep composure as your heart ran at double speed.

“I never meant for any of this, and I certainly never meant to hurt Lu in the process. When I first spoke to you about Marina, it was because you’d been the first person to come up to me at school and tell me you were there if I needed to talk - and I believed you. When we first met here, it was because I wanted to know how you’d managed to cope with that feeling that was still so new to me. I was terrified of never being able to really deal with losing her, and you made it seem so clear.”

You swallow thickly.

“Somewhere, along the way, I found someone in you that went deeper than just how supportive you’d been. You were so much more than I’d ever seen,” He smiles and lets out a little chuckle, “You’ve made me some sort of romantic, clearly.”

“Guzmán...” You sigh, “I can’t get in the way of you and Lu. You know what she’s like.”

“Right, I do. And I know when I spoke to her today, it was like we’d both come to the same realisation. I needed to find you to realise the way that I’d never feel about her,” He shakes his head, “You make everything seem clearer (Y/n).”

You smile a little as he reaches over for your hand.

“There was never a choice to make (Y/n).”

[hearthandhomemagick]

Food For Thought - Steven Universe

Hello there, I would like to tell you my story and journey with the amazingly beautiful, and wonderfully written TV Show...

Steven Universe.

I started watching this show when it first came out in High School. I mean, I was so excited to watch it that I anticipated the very first episode and sat down with snacks to observe it’s premier. I had become immediately enthralled not only with the art style, but also with the genuine wholesomeness and elucidations of processing emotions and life experiences. I was astounded that a kids show could express to me how to manage my emotions as well as connect with my moral standings. It’s a show I recommended to everyone, but often didn’t talk about because of it being a kids show, and me being almost being grown. It was my secret love until someone else brought it up.

This show stuck with me through the years, and helped me through some of my hardest moments in life. 

I remember watching the episode, “Mindful Education” and melting into Garnet’s lesson of mindfulness and self-awareness. I had been going through a lot at the end of 2016, graduating and going through a rough election along with having to move states for college. My opinions were forming in the extreme area and I had a fire to protect my thoughts and opinions with no restrain or any form of control of my emotional reality. I was rambunctious as much as I was head-strong and, at times, hard-headed all together. 

When this episode aired, I didn’t know why I loved Garnet and Stevonnie’s song, “Here Comes a Thought.” But I did, and it still carries with me into my life today. 

I want to discuss a specific time, though, that this episode saved my sanity and opened my eyes to a concept I didn’t understand when I first watched it. I was on social media, and was defending my opinions against quite a few people by myself. Eventually, I was getting nasty comments from a bunch of millennials telling me, 

“You’re too fucking stupid to understand, maybe you should go back to school, child.”

“You’re so emotional, and your emotions don’t matter here. Imagine being this dumb.”

“Imagine being a dumb bitch like Carly and saying you wanted to cut your penis off to look like a woman.” *NOTE I am not transgender, there is nothing wrong with being transgender and her insinuating such did not bother me. Her rhetoric insinuating trans was wrong is what irked me, this bitch was transphobic and had issues that she needs to repair in her own time. She wrote an entire post based around this context on her personal page using my real name, and she didn’t even know who I was.*

and my personal favorite, “Here’s the suicide hotline, I know your generation is prone to killing themselves and are overly emotional.”

Now, there were over 50, under 100, messages going back and forth where these people were just bullying me and I refused to back down. I wound up in a panic attack in my bedroom, literally wanting to kill myself because they were bullying me. The hotline would have come in handy if it were the actual hotline. I ended up going to my dad and older sister (my older sisters friend was the main one I was arguing with and her posy showed up on my post), because no one on the post was on my side.

Both told me, “If you can’t handle the heat, stay out of the kitchen.” My sister told her friend to stop, and threatened the other girl for her nasty posts and comments. My dad tried to mediate on the post itself, but the people wouldn’t stop. I eventually had to take it down.

My family didn’t calm me down in this moment. Not even a little bit. It felt like a back-handed helping hand. Like they wanted to protect me, but also somewhat agreed with the people on the post.

The only thing that calmed my nerves in this moment, ultimately, was the song, “Here Comes a Thought.” 

I sat in my room, sobbing, hoping to myself that it would make sense as to why it was okay for these things to happen. The song soothed over my nerves, eventually releasing my muscles and giving me a sense ease. I was able to process and realized a few personal things as well. I didn’t realize it, but before long, I was meditating to the song on repeat. I kept telling myself, “I’m okay, this is a thought. A moment. I am not my thoughts. I am not this moment.”

This was simply one of the ways Steven Universe has helped me process and understand myself more. I bring this up because I came across and article today that disappointed me to the core.

The Steven Universe Fandom has toxic tendencies.

I was shook.

How could a child’s show be turned into something so negative? Something that was meant to promote self-awareness, self-love, acceptance of character, and understanding of others had been morphed into a gatekeepers safe haven.

Now I know this isn’t the majority, and before you get offended, hurt or start defending yourself, I want you to ask yourself if what you are defending is an action you would defend from anyone else. If it is, by all means defend your ground.

But the one concept that eludes me, and offers zero substance in terms of valid arguments, is that men can not watch this show. Let me explain why men NEED to watch this fucking show.

My boyfriend watched this entire show, episode for episode, and benefitted from it. This show offered him coping techniques, an understanding of why love should come before war, and mediating every situation so you see and understand every perspective. These are things children shows didn’t offer him growing up, he has often and openly verbalized his need for this show in his childhood because of certain traumas, and we often continue watching it even after seeing every single episode and movie.

This show was never meant for one or two groups of people, and if you feel that way then refer back to the writers themselves who were literally trying to teach the lesson in the show over and over again to NEVER EXCLUDE PEOPLE FROM YOUR GROUP. You exclude people, and you create a division, a war of sorts. You immediately have become the thing Steven Universe advocated against in the first place.

This also leads into the whole “art” situation in the fandom. 

This show is anti-bully. There are commercials for it and everything. It is expressed in multiple episodes why bullying is never a good thing in any situation. 

You simply cannot justify the hypocrisy in bullying someone out of self-expression that literally harms no one. You can’t justify it.

Think about it. You draw or sketch a piece of art that took you hours, or even a few minutes. It’s your favorite character, and maybe you yourself are going through some mental thoughts regarding your weight that lead you to draw the character thinner or bigger. Size shouldn’t matter in any capacity when relating a character to ones self. 

If you’re skinny, you’re beautiful. If you are thick or curvy, you are beautiful. If you are obese or overweight, you are beautiful. Weight doesn’t matter, but representation of body types in different characters does matter.

Imagine a child falls in love with a bigger character, but is experiencing body challenges where she is being picked on for being too thin or scrawny (it happens, I’ve seen it with my nieces). Who are you to say that making her favorite character look like her own body is wrong? Especially if art is a coping mechanism they use for mental health reasons.

Like Malachite, a fusion that was devastating and abusive in every way, you are taking the choice and voice of an entire being to make your actions and opinions “right” or “okay”.

There is so much more I could say on this show, and so much more I could say about the fandom. And I know it is not the majority of the fandom, but I did want to make everyone in the fandom aware that we are human.

None of us are stoic and balanced like Garnet, and even Garnet had problems in her relationship. None of us are strong and laid back like Amethyst, and even she had self-love issues. None of us are as analytical and organized as Pearl, and yet she had problems throughout the series. 

None of you are perfect, and to act as if you are is defeating the purpose of a show trying to teach you how to be responsible for yourself and your actions. I’m not perfect either, and preaching about a fandom I’m not a huge part of sounds counter-intuitive, I’m aware.

But my nieces want to watch this show. My nephew watches this show with me. My boyfriend’s niece is going to start watching the show. 

Please do not make a toxic environment for kids who need this show to grow up. Kids who experience trauma, and learn from this show deserve a safe space without people trying to justify bullying or force them to think that because they are a boy or girl, they can or can’t watch the show. Without people making people feel bad for being themselves.

Why don’t we create a new space? A space where everyone is accepted as they are, and negative behavior is addressed the same way the gems or Steven would address them. With education, perception awareness, and PATIENCE. 

I know some will say, “It’s not my job to raise your child.” and “It’s not my responsibility to make people aware of their tendencies.”

You’re right. It’s also not your responsibility to bully people into changing themselves to fit your dialogue. Simply put, you’re responsible for yourself alone. But you have no right to complain on someone's behavior, art or experiences if you are not willing to be patient with correcting said behavior in yourself first.  

Who knows, maybe I’m in the wrong here for not knowing the full story. All I’m saying is, if you see someone being a bully, being mean or even being a hypocrite, call them out in the sweetest way possible. Let them know we are facilitating a safe space for people who need a community rather than a closed off club.

Be the change you want to see in this world.

Learn, grow and prosper. 

I wish you all well and genuinely hope we can all expand our perspectives to fully understand each other in healthier and more communicative based ways. We deserve that sort of kindness from each other.