#They just deserve to have a relationship in some sort of capacity.

[disregardcanon]

i've been reading catching fire for the first time this year and i don't, personally, think that the quarter quell was a "smart move" for snow and the capitol even if things went the way that he wanted them to and katniss and peeta and all the rest died and he got a victor he could control. sure, it would have taken out katniss. but taking out katniss wasn't actually going to be the quick fix he wanted it to be.

because even the capitol citizens were upset about all of this. the capitol citizens, who had grown so used to having pretty victors to smush together like dolls and gush over and show that people from the districts CAN do something and make their lives better. it's the american bootstraps ideal made hideously manifest.

yes, they've been fed this propaganda diet that the games are proper retribution for a crime that happened a lifetime ago, but they're also supposed to bring out these Ideals TM the capitol claims to hold to and then the Beautiful Shiny Model Minority winner gets fame and fortune and safety and a promotion into capitol society. because they beat the odds and they won all these things! they *deserve* this!

now all of the privileged masses have these strong parasocial relationships where they thought they'd see their favorite athletes become safe and glamorous and happy. the social contract says that the capitol citizens get to have these lovely dolls to play with and now he's taking their toys away in a way that shows the propaganda never held any truth in the first place. if we don't actually value these people and what they represent, then why do we actually do it? (it's the cruelty. but the average capitol citizen doesn't understand that the cruelty is the point, because it took snow years and years and years of building up that Capacity for Cruelty, and most people never get to that point. there has to be a pretty facade over this for it to run smoothly for those average citizens like the prep team. and now it's not there anymore.)

and that's not even mentioning the different sort of horror this becomes for the districts, as the idea that's been sold to the wealthier districts is that if these children win they get fame and fortune and protection for life. but you're dragging them back into the horror that was supposed to buy their eternal glory? the careers aging out this year don't even have their "chance" in the arena to make their mark and gain their fortune. they'll just be losing some of their mentors in a pointless rehash.

in the poorer districts, perhaps there is some relief because their kids are safe this year but that means their only victors are being shipped off to die instead. and then their kids who won't have a chance in hell next year! because the hunger games are a perpetual motion exploitation machine, and the only way people were able to be numbed to it was figuring out the rules and then gritting their teeth and living their lives. but the rules are out the window, now. those rules that were supposed to make this terrible system something they could navigate and grit their teeth and suffering through are being blown to bits because snow tried to stomp out the tiniest embers instead of letting them burn out.

[saintsenara]

Thoughts on Ron and Hermione as a ship?

thank you very much for the ask, @thesilverstarling!

i’ll state my position straight away: book ron and hermione are the best of the canon couples.

they will have a long and extremely happy marriage made rich by great and stalwart love, lust, fun, and faithfulness, rather than held together by duty and couples’ therapy like so many readers and authors (including jkr, who seems to have decided to spend the years since the conclusion of the series failing to understand anything about her own characters) tend to think.

i will state another position straight away: lest i seem like i’m just a fan with blinkers on, i think this even though hermione is, by far, my least favourite member of the trio. if she were real i would detest her, and i dislike how she is treated by the narrative as always justified in her negative characteristics. i like fanon hermione - perfect and preternaturally good - even less.

as a result, i think that it’s ridiculous that jkr has said that she thought ron needed to ‘become worthy’ of hermione. they belong together as equals - which is what they’re set up in the narrative as being from the off - and i hate seeing that undermined.

because ronald weasley? he’s an icon. and he doesn’t get anywhere near the respect he deserves in fandom.

there are multiple reasons for this - ron’s narrative purpose is to be the everyman sidekick, and so he is able to be less special than harry or hermione (the helper-figure); the amount of aristocracy wank in this fandom means that the weasleys’ ordinariness is less appealing to writers than making harry have twenty different lordships and call himself hadrian; the narrative interrogates ron’s flaws - especially his capacity for jealousy - much more intensively than it interrogates either hermione’s (cruel, inflexible, meddling) or harry’s (reckless, self-absorbed, judgemental) - but one i feel is particularly significant is that ron is such a british character that many of his traits are not understood as intended by non-british readers.

in particular - as is outlined in this excellent meta by @whinlatter - ron’s sense of humour isn’t indicative of immaturity or a lack of seriousness, but is, in fact, evidence that he’s the most emotionally aware of the trio.

ron is shown throughout the series to understand how both harry and hermione need to have their emotions approached - and i think there is no piece of writing which says this better than crocodile heart by @floreatcastellumposts:

That was what she liked most about Ron, she thought vaguely. He was very good at being suitably outraged on your behalf. For Harry, for her, for Neville. That sort of thing mattered, when you were hurt or embarrassed or wronged in some way. You needed to have someone else on your side, to be as emotional as you felt, maybe even more so, so that you might feel a bit more normal. It was very decent of him, and she was not sure he realised he did it.

ron’s inherent emotional awareness is an enormous source of comfort to other people. he does the work which isn’t flashy or special - he makes tea and tells jokes and is just there - but which is needed in healthy human relationships far more frequently than a willingness to fight to the death for the other person.

[as an aside, this normality - even though i think it is assumed rather than justified by the text - is also what ginny provides for harry. if you believe that hinny are a good couple but romione aren’t… i can’t help you.]

but let’s look at some specific reasons why ron and hermione belong together:

their communication styles mesh perfectly. ron is the only person hermione knows who feeds her love of being challenged and debated, and who is able to engage in this way of communicating without becoming irate when she refuses to back down. ron is good at picking his battles, but he’s also good at recognising that hermione’s tendency to argue isn’t intended to be confrontational a lot of the time - it’s just the way she works through feelings and problems. he’s far more easy-going about her tendency to nag, interrupt, try to provoke arguments, or speak condescendingly than he’s given credit for - and hermione evidently respects this, since when he does tell her not to push a situation (above all, when she’s trying to needle harry into talking about sirius), she listens to him.

that ron and hermione’s tendency to bicker is taken by fans to be a bad thing is because it’s something harry - from whose perspective the narrative is written - doesn’t understand. harry is extremely conflict-avoidant - he tends to take being pushed on views and opinions he has to be insulting; and he has a tendency to assume that he is right which is just as profound as hermione’s. he and ginny communicate not by debating, but by ginny having no time for his rigidity and refusing to indulge it - but ron and hermione bickering about everything is not a negative thing within their specific emotional dynamic.

[as another aside, this glaring chasm in communication styles is why harry and hermione would be a disaster as a couple.]

they each provide validation the other needs. it’s clear - reading between the lines - that hermione is a tremendously lonely person. the friendlessness of her initial few weeks at hogwarts seems to be a continuation of her experience as a child, and - outside of ron and harry - that friendlessness endures through her schooldays. i’m always struck, for example, by the fact that, when she falls out with ron in prisoner of azkaban, she has no-one else to spend time with, and that this is only avoided in half-blood prince because harry decides not to freeze her out. i don’t think her friendship with ginny is anywhere near as close as fanon seems to imply (ginny has no interest in being nagged either), nor do i think that she’s anywhere near as close to neville (not least because she is so condescending to him) as she’s often written to be.

and this loneliness seems to stretch beyond hogwarts. the absence of hermione’s parents’ from the narrative is - in a doylist sense - clearly just a device to maximise time with the trio all together, but the watsonian reading is that she doesn’t have a particularly good relationship with them. hermione’s obviously upper-middle-class background - the name! the skiing! the holidays in the south of france! - can be presumed, i think, to come with a series of expectations from her parents which she feels constantly that she’s not entirely meeting, particularly expectations attached to academic success.

[for example, the grangers - were she a muggle child - would undoubtedly have ambitions for her to attend an elite university and then go into a prestigious career. tertiary education of the type that they’re familiar with doesn’t seem to exist in the wizarding world - most careers seem to be taught by apprenticeship - and this, alongside all the other divides between the magical and muggle worlds which contribute to the distance between them, would be one very obvious area in which she felt the need to prove herself to them.]

ron, too, has quite a difficult relationship with his position in the family - voldemort’s locket is not wrong to point out that he seems to receive considerably less of his mother’s emotional attention than ginny or the rest of his brothers - and he too is constrained by expectations which he doesn’t know how to explain he has no interest in - above all, molly’s desire for her sons to achieve top grades and go into the ministry.

he also suffers while at hogwarts from being ‘harry potter’s best friend’, something which harry never appreciates. but hermione does. she recognises ron’s jealousy and never allows harry to minimise it (and she and ron are very much aligned on having no respect for harry’s saviour and martyr complexes). she appreciates ron’s strengths - above all his kindness and his sense of humour - and makes him feel as though he’s achieved things with them. and ron does the same for her; he is hugely observant when it comes to her, and he challenges and defends her.

the two of them clearly spend a lot of time together one-on-one while harry’s involved in his various shenanigans (including outside of school - hermione has often arrived at the burrow days or even weeks before harry, and they seem to write to each other frequently when apart). they do this within a relationship which is fundamentally equal. one issue with hinny is that, post-war, harry is going to have to get used to seeing ginny as a peer, rather than as someone he has to protect. but ron and hermione never have that issue - equality is baked into their relationship from the off.

because, to be quite frank, fandom overstates the role that jealousy plays in their relationship. it’s true that ron certainly doesn’t acquit himself brilliantly when it comes to hermione’s relationship with viktor krum (it’s because he’s bi and doesn’t know it yet), and a tendency to externalise his insecurity into trying to make others also feel insecure is one of his primary negative traits (hermione does this too, via her patented lofty voice when she’s trying to condescend to people). but this is often taken as the initial red flag for how the relationship would crash and burn, and ron’s toxic jealousy is often used in fan-fiction as the trigger for emotional and physical violence towards hermione which, frequently, seems to drive her into the arms of either draco malfoy or severus snape… who are, of course, the first people we think of when we hear the words ‘not prone to jealousy’...

but i think it’s important to point out several things in defence of ron’s jealousy over krum. firstly, hermione evidently regards his jealousy as ridiculous - she’s upset by it, yes, but her upset must be understood as being caused by the fact that she wanted him to ask her out. she doesn’t think he’s being possessive, she thinks he’s being stupid. secondly, hermione is equally as jealous over ron’s crush on fleur delacour and relationship with lavender brown. she behaves just as cruelly when it comes to lavender as ron does when it comes to krum - and the narrative only treats her actions as more sympathetic or justified both because harry dislikes lavender too, and because, by that point in the series, jkr has dispensed with any inclination to ever criticise her.

but, outside of this teenage pettiness, ron is never jealous of hermione over things which matter. he is never jealous of her intelligence or competence or ambition or success (indeed, he defends her constantly from attacks designed to undermine her in these areas). for someone who struggles with being overshadowed by harry, he is never upset at being overshadowed by her. he is clearly going to be happy to support her in any of the career ambitions she can be written as having post-war.

and, on this point, i think it’s worth interrogating why so many readers still seem to feel uncomfortable with the idea of ron and hermione having a dynamic where she is the more ‘powerful’ one. [it’s always a bit trite to say ‘but what if the genders were reversed?’, but actually that’s not irrelevant here]. if hermione ends up taking the ministry by storm and ron becomes a stay-at-home father or has a job which is just to pay the bills, what, precisely, is wrong with that? why, precisely, should hermione regard ron making that choice for himself as a negative thing? hermione so often seems to leave ron in fan-fiction because of a lack of ambition - something which seems to be particularly common in dramione - but, in canon, she is shown to not particularly care if ron and harry do the bare minimum when it comes to studying etc. she nags them to do their work so they don’t get in trouble. she doesn’t nag them to do it to the same standard that she would.

and, actually, i think that ron being less ambitious than hermione is something which is key to how well they work. because ron provides not only emotional support, but emotional clarity.

hermione is shown throughout canon to - just as harry does - have a tendency to become obsessive to the detriment of her own health. she is also often - as harry is - emotionally or intellectually inflexible, and finds it hard to move on when what she feels or believes is proven to be wrong. both she and harry are micro-thinkers, who lean towards knee-jerk assumptions and stubborn convictions (and, indeed, hermione has a remarkably hagrid-ish tendency towards blind loyalty).

ron is none of these things. ron is a big-picture thinker (it’s why he’s so good at chess). he’s a pragmatist. he’s the least righteous of the three. he understands that faith and loyalty are choices, and that sometimes these choices will lead to outcomes which are bad or hard. he is the one of the three most willing to own up to having made mistakes. he is the one least likely to act on gut instinct (and, therefore, the hardest to fool - i think it’s worth emphasising that he clocks that tom riddle is tricking harry immediately, the only one of the trio to do so). he understands that things are a marathon, not a sprint. he is the least obsessive.

and these traits contribute to aspects of his character which are underappreciated. ron worries about hermione making herself ill during exams, or when she is using the time-turner, and makes an effort to get her to set healthy boundaries and redirect her anxiety. ron stands on a broken leg in front of sirius or goes into the forest to fight aragog not out of righteousness, but out of choice. ron takes over the burden of preparing buckbeak’s defence when it is clear that hermione is approaching burnout. ron is completely right that harry hasn’t done any long-term planning for the horcrux hunt, and his anger does force harry to tighten up after he leaves the trio. ron has a clear head in the middle of battle. ron makes harry and hermione laugh. ron is unafraid of human emotion. ron arrests harry’s tendency to brood over the little things by looking at the bigger picture. ron will always come back.

ron is bringing his politician wife regular cups of tea and making sure she doesn’t work all night. he is helping his lawyer wife to feel less upset over losing one case by reminding her that she’s won ten others. he is noticing stress creeping in and whirling her off for a dirty weekend, or even just a takeaway on the sofa. he is teaching his daughter to be proud of her ambition and his son to treat women as equals and both of his children that all you can do when you fuck up is apologise and try to do better. he is making hermione smile on the worst days of her life. he is helping her strategise her long-term goals when she gets stuck on the short-term ones. he is telling her straight when she needs to get it together. he is seeing a misogynistic head of department call hermione a ‘silly little girl’ and choosing to tell him exactly what he thinks of that.

ron is the ultimate wife guy. hermione is a very, very lucky lady.

[blessedwithabadomen]

in love with the mess - day eleven

summary : Aubrey is going on tour and, for once, she's decided to focus on having as much fun as possible. Oli can be a little shit but he does nothing short of adore Audrey and... well, maybe Noah a little, too. Noah likes the flirting, as long as no one gets too close, emotionally. But what will happen when the three of them take it too far?

content : smut (p in v, fingering dirty talk), angst, fluff

length : 6k

tags (let me know if you want to be tagged!) : @veronicaphoenix @cookiesupplier @lma1986 @jilliemiw86 @bngurngheart @lacktoesandtoddlerants @narcissisticbehavior81 @flowery-mess @shilohrosechicken @justeli6 @starvingarsyn @floatinglikeaswan @blacksoul-27 @somebodyels3 @kageyasma @spikeisdaddy @broken0mens

a/n : Enjoy!! Leave a comment if you do hehe 💕

•••

day eleven

What on earth was one supposed to do when everything they’d ever craved, ever needed without quite knowing that they’d needed it at all, suddenly seemed to appear right at their fingertips while knowing that every move toward it would only make it recede further?

Waking up in an empty bed had flooded my brain with loneliness, feelings of rejection, a cold seeping into my bones, just for a moment, completely automatically, but then the rest of my senses loaded in and as soon as my hearing permitted me to realise I was far from alone in the apartment, my whole body relaxed again. A chaotic mixture of shouting and uninhibited laughter filtered through the open door, interrupted by the tell-tale noises of pots and pans and everything else Oli’s kitchen had to offer. Then, slowly but surely, the scent of coffee reached my nostrils. I inhaled it deeply, turning onto my back and snuggling into the blankets for another minute.

How cruel was the world to gift me this moment? I wanted to sink into the bliss this morning provided. The domesticity. The soft wake-up, the realisation that Oli and Noah were preparing breakfast, the gentle lull of the bed that promised a future that could look exactly like this.

Could it? The pull at my heart stung more painfully than ever. The clarity that all I wanted seemed so close and yet unattainable hit me harder than before. I didn’t want to assume that either Oli or Noah were doing it with any ill intent, but the way they kept dangling this possibility in front of my face hurt all the same. What would it take to get this for real? Every morning of my life? My whole body seemed to ache with the love I had for them.

I was on the verge of giving up. Not giving up either of them or this thing we had going on. Giving up on being quiet. Giving up on hiding my feelings, lying about what my heart was screaming for, making myself and my needs smaller than they were. Maybe then, we would stand a chance. Maybe if I was being honest with them, they could be honest with me too. If only there was any sort of knowledge that their truth would bear the same content as mine.

Five more days of this tour. Five more days until we would, in some capacity, have to part ways. Oli was going back home to finish the album. Noah was heading on another tour. I was… well, packing up my things and trying to find a place to stay. How much longer would I manage to keep my mouth shut? I didn’t just want to blurt out a confession of love, hit them out of nowhere, possibly scare them away with my intensity. But I would have to speak up, sooner or later. Before the tour was over. I couldn’t leave without letting them know, even if it meant the end of things. Even if it changed my relationship with Oli irredeemably. Even if it meant never having Noah again. I’d simply have to find the right moment. 

Or rather, moments. I wasn’t sure if telling both of them at the same time would be wise. They were two individual people that each deserved my undivided attention. As much as my heart was beating for both of them, it would be wrong to pretend it had the same quality with both. I’d known Oli for years, a crush that had been steadily growing, going dormant and growing again. Noah had only appeared on the scene recently, even if he’d caught my heart with no difficulties at all. But it was different. Every love was. Their own, the one between them, was too.

A loud clatter pulled me out of my thoughts. It was followed by a beat of silence and then rambunctious laughter. The smile on my face appeared involuntarily at the sound. Rolling myself out of the sheets, I quickly looked for something to put on, remembering I only had my dress from last night. Pulling a few drawers open, I located an oversized sweatshirt in Oli’s closet that I allowed myself to put on along with a pair of clean boxershorts. My underwear from last night was too sticky to even consider it.

The kitchen was a mess when I entered. It seemed like the two of them had made it their mission to open every single cupboard and then proceeded to place every single item in there somewhere completely different. In between, some cooking that wanted to be an English breakfast had happened. Still, as soon as I was spotted, shuffling toward them on bare feet, Oli made quick work of fixing a plate for me with whatever hadn’t gotten burned or landed on the ground in their mayhem.

“I promise, I actually know how to cook,” Noah whispered in my ear as he hugged me good morning, his hands moving upwards on my thighs until they disappeared under Oli’s shirt. “Not so sure about him though.”

We both turned to watch Oli plate some more stuff for Noah and himself, some of it looking suspiciously black, but he was obviously trying so hard to make it a good breakfast meal that my heart couldn’t help but flutter at the sight.

It was perfect. Too perfect.

•••

The morning was filled with half-edible food, giggles over the breakfast table and slow, lazy kisses on the couch as we took turns showering. Oli ended up lending Noah and me some clothes that definitely looked more ridiculous on me than it ever did on those two men, but it was still better than trying to make do with last night’s outfits again. It still very much felt like a walk of shame when the cab driver all but dropped us back off at the hotel. I almost asked if Oli would mind us grabbing our suitcases and going right back to his place to stay there for another night until we had to get going to London. But I didn’t.

Noah and I had planned to make a quick dash to our respective rooms to change into clothes that actually belonged in our closets while Oli would make his way to the venue, but the plan was foiled when we realised that the rest of Bad Omens were gathered in the hotel lobby, chatting and… well, probably waiting for Noah before heading to the arena together. Unfortunately, that also meant that the three of us were the topic of conversation as soon as we got spotted.

Folio saw us first, his eyes moving back and forth between us, then up and down our bodies as he seemed to realise what we were wearing. He gave a low wolf whistle that briefly caught the attention of every uninvolved person in the lobby, but he didn’t mind at all as he approached us with a big smile on his face.

“Noah! We’d been wondering where you were. You could have told us you were spending the night with your boyfriend and your girlfriend!”

In an instant, Noah’s face had taken on a blush like no other. He dropped my hand as if caught in some sort of compromising situation, his eyes darting everywhere but me or Oli.

“Very funny, Folio,” he mumbled, but there was no humour in his voice.

“Come one, you all look like you’ve had a very good night,” the drummer continued, harshly slapping Noah’s shoulder in what I assumed was supposed to be a friendly, if teasing, gesture. “No need to be shy about it.”

But Noah wasn’t shy about it. Not exactly. Noah was… somewhere between embarrassed and terrified. At least that was what he looked like. The shuffling of his feet, the way he played with the hem of the shirt and then suddenly let go as if stung by the realisation it was Oli’s, the restless energy. Even Folio backed off suddenly.

“I need to change,” Noah announced and before anyone had the chance to stop him or even say a single word, he had set off towards the lifts. He needed to change. He didn’t say he was going to. He needed to. It set off all the alarm bells in my head. I couldn’t let this whole situation run off its course again, whatever the course was. But I also knew better than to push Noah into what would only result in him withdrawing and refusing to talk altogether.

“We should talk to him,” Oli piped up next to me.

“We should. But not now. Bryan needs you for pictures and then you’ve got soundcheck. I’ll meet you at the arena, yeah?”

Oli nodded, not quite convinced, but knowing that his schedule called for him. We’d already taken the whole morning off, it was time to get back to work. I moved to quickly press my lips to his cheek before heading to my room as well, but he stopped me, hand on my neck, leading me exactly where he wanted me.

And then, in public, and in front of everyone still watching us, Oli Sykes kissed me.

•••

“Aubrey! Just the person I was hoping to see!”

I stopped dead in my tracks at Becky’s voice. I’d successfully maneouvered Oli from soundcheck back to his dressing room where he’d have a bite to eat in preparation for the show when I decided to see what sort of mood Noah would be in. If it was time to talk to him yet. As much as he preferred to battle his demons alone some times, there was a point where he would simply end up overthinking and, at worst, grabbing some bottles again, and I wanted to stop that process by all means necessary.

However, I’d only just made it into the general standing area of the venue when Becky called me over. I shot one more look at Noah on stage, in the middle of his own soundcheck and seemingly miles away in his mind, before walking over to the sound booth.

“So, slight trouble ahead,” she said, kneading her hands awkwardly. “Someone on the team is having a family emergency and he needs to leave after the show. Which means we’re good for tonight, but we’re a pair of hands short in London. I have some contacts for the Dublin show so that won’t be a problem, but no one is available for the next two days on such short notice. I’ve already talked to Oli and Noah and they agreed so I thought I’d ask if you could help out for those gigs?”

My brain was whirling with the amount of information she’d just dropped on me. But it was one particular piece it got stuck on - why had she asked Noah? Oli was a given, considering I was technically his employee and he’d have to do without me if I was gone during soundcheck and the actual show, but Noah didn’t make any sense.

“Noah?” I questioned, more to myself than anything else and Becky interrupted me immediately.

“Will you? Please say yes. It’s important. Really.”

“Sure,” I smiled, even though I felt anything but sure at that moment in time. Still, she needed help and if I could be of any use, it would be ridiculous to decline.

“Perfect!” she exclaimed, reaching over the barrier to pull me into a hug. “You won’t regret it!”

I didn’t know what that was supposed to mean either.

•••

Noah vanished right after soundcheck, which seemed to be a special talent of his. All of his usual hiding spots came up empty and if he’d left the venue in some capacity, there was no way I’d be able to track him. Trying the dressing room one more time, I opened the door, just a small gap, to peek inside, but the only person present at all was Nicholas.

To my surprise, he waved me in. I followed the invitation gratefully - not only was I out of ideas on where to find Noah before the show, I also didn't have anything else on my schedule for the day. Plus, I'd not really had the time to hang out with anyone apart from Oli and Noah lately.

A beer was thrust in my general direction as soon as I sat down on the other end of the couch. It wasn't my favourite, but I took it anyway.

“So, Aubrey, how are you doing today?”

I stared at Nicholas with the most suspicious look I could muster. “Nick, in the ten days we've been in this tour together, we've not once made silly small talk.”

He chuckled, a little nervously, a little caught out, but he looked so sweet that I couldn't even pretend to be mad. “Yeah, I don’t know why I said that.”

The silence settled between us for a moment, but I didn’t mind. I figured he’d called me in here for a reason, and I’d give him as much time as he wanted to needed to figure our what to say.

“Would you mind if we stole Noah away for the night?”

“What? I mean, of course. He’s your friend, you don’t need my permission to hang out with him.”

I had been hoping to spend the night with both him and Oli again. Go pack to his place. Maybe have a quiet night in before the four-hour drive to London tomorrow. Get some takeaway. Stare out of Oli’s windows to watch the city as it fell asleep and woke back up. But with Noah making an abrupt exit this morning at the hotel and being basically untraceable ever since, my hopes had been dwindling anyway.

“‘Course, ‘course,” Nicky mumbled, briefly looking up at me with a smile. “I’m not complaining about you spending time with him, by the way. But we…” He looked contemplative, as if trying to decide how much to tell me. “We sat down together, Folio, Jolly and I, for lunch today and we decided we need to talk to him. Because, well, he seems very happy to hang out with you and Oli but then it takes one comment from Folio and he just closes off completely.”

I’d seen it first-hand, more than once. They were right to be concerned, too. With all the fun we were having among the three of us, reality kept punching Noah in the gut relentlessly. I still wasn’t entirely sure what sort of demons he was battling, but they were weighing heavily on his mind and impacting his moods. The other three were probably both worried about his ability to perform as their frontman and how he was coping as their friend. And as much as Oli and I needed to talk to him, sooner or later, maybe what he needed right now was the people he’d known for years.

“I know,” I sighed in response. “He switches from extremely carefree to withdrawn and pissed off in a split second sometimes. An evening with the guys will probably do him good. If… I don’t know if it’s appropriate, but if he says anything, you know… I don’t know, that would be helpful to know… I know you don’t know me very well but I genuinely just want what’s best for him and I’m at a complete loss sometimes.”

Nicky’s hand on my shoulder was so reassuring, I suddenly felt like I had to bite back tears. “I’ll let you know. Unless we somehow get him to grow some balls and talk to you himself.”

I giggled, pushing away the emotions, leaning slightly into his touch, simply glad to know Noah was surrounded by people who really cared about him and his wellbeing. Even if that included bullying him on the low when he was being a diva about communicating properly. He deserved it, to be honest.

“So, what’s the plan for tonight then? Hope it’s not an intervention because that’ll probably make him run for the hills immediately.”

“No,” Nicky laughed slightly. “We’re just going to call it a guys’ night. Take him out after the show. Have a beer.”

I couldn’t help but raise my eyebrow at him a little bit. Somehow, he caught it immediately. The questioning look on his face compelled me to talk.

“He’s been… drinking. I don’t know if that’s a general pattern with him, but, sometimes, it’s to the point where he doesn’t remember things the next morning.”

Nicholas seemed more somber than he had been the entire conversation. The way something flashed in his eyes, just for a moment, told me enough. Enough to know that this wasn’t exactly the first time he might have gone down that road. And that they were well aware of it, too.

“I’ll keep an eye on him. Promise.”

I nodded, finally getting up from the couch with a heavy sigh, my almost untouched beer still in my hand. “Well. I’m going to need the rundown tomorrow. And if I don’t see you again before you leave, good luck.”

“I might need it.”

•••

Some days, things just tended to go wrong. And while, a lot of the time, I could accept that, be gentle with myself and move on, today was not like that. At all. What had started as a lovely morning with Noah and Oli had quickly spiralled into worries about the former, then feelings of confusion and being slightly overwhelmed at suddenly working with Becky for the next two days. I couldn’t find Noah anywhere, but I’d all but given up on that since the conversation with Nicky. I’d check up on the situation tomorrow, when, hopefully, some things were cleared up. At least in Noah’s head.

But then my AAA pass went missing. It wasn’t a massive problem, excluding the embarrassment of having to let people know that the person who was responsible for keeping Oli in check and organised had managed to misplace what was probably the single most important item on any given tour date. What bothered me much more was the fact that I’d attached my Powerfuff Girls keychain to it, as I’d been doing every day since I’d bought it.

Lee was the one to find me, near tears, picking apart Oli’s dressing room to no success.

“Alright, let’s walk through your day then. You’ve obviously had it when you arrived here or you wouldn’t have gotten in. Where did you go from there?”

I knew he technically didn’t have the time to run this through, but I was simply too distraught to send him away, silently grateful for his help as we re-traced my steps from Oli’s dressing room to the sound desk and catering to all the hallways I could have possibly walked. Additionally, both of us had shot messages into any group chats we were part of, but so far no one had replied with positive news.

“Wait, is that-”

Lee was pointing slightly further ahead in the hallway. I was there in an instant. There, on top of one of the boxes, was, indeed, a backstage pass. Adorned with my name. Only - there was no charm on it.

“But- that doesn’t make sense!” I exclaimed, turning the item over in my hands, then bending down to study the floor around the box. “If I’d lost it, it would surely be on the ground and not up here, right? And if someone picked it up, they could have given it back to me, because my name is on it. And why is the keychain missing? There’s no reason for it to detach!”

Lee shrugged his shoulders, not quite as bewildered as I was, but I figured he also didn’t have as much personal attachment to a keychain. I had the pass back, which should be all that mattered, probably.

“Aubrey! Aubrey, help!”

Oli’s voice echoed through the hallway. He didn’t sound like he was in any imminent danger, but I still set off as soon as I’d reattached the pass, finding him in the middle of his dressing room. He stood in the most awkward, uncomfortable way, his head strangely bent down toward his shoulder. I was about to question it when he turned around, showing me exactly what the dilemma was.

“My hair!”

I didn’t know how he’d done it, but some of his strands were caught up in the rings of his black jacket. I bit back a smile, very unsuccessfully.

“How the fuck did you do that,” I giggled, unable to hold the noise back as soon as I opened my mouth.

“Does it matter? Help me out!”

With laughter still wrecking my chest, I started fumbling with his hair and the accessories on his jacket, trying to be as delicate as possible as he kept making noises of pain even when nothing was actually tugging on his scalp. Drama queen. I finally pulled him free, giving him a soft kiss, before toying with his outfit until it was perfectly in place.

“Thank you, love,” he said, suddenly mellow. His hands were toying with my hair now, mindlessly playing with the strands as he stared at me. I felt as naked and vulnerable under his stare as I felt protected. “Can I invite you over to mine again tonight?”

“You don’t even have to ask. Can we grab my suitcase this time though? I’d rather not do another walk of shame tomorrow morning.”

“Anything you want.”

I almost melted at how soft he was. I wasn’t sure if it was me or the fact that he was in his hometown, playing to more people than ever, knowing that friends and family were watching, but I wallowed in it all the same.

“I don’t think Noah’s coming, though,” I added after a beat of silence and only after I’d managed to tear myself away from the way his eyes were seeing right into my soul. “The guys are taking him out. But we’ll talk to him tomorrow, right?”

“Tomorrow,” Oli agreed, pressing a kiss to my forehead. “We’ll figure it out tomorrow.”

•••

The show in Sheffield was nothing short of magical and when Oli came off stage, he was an electrified bundle of energy. He was all over me, pulling me into his arms, completely ignorant of the way his sweaty skin stuck to mine where my top didn’t cover me, swaying me side to side.

“Fuck, I just love playing here,” he mumbled into my hair before pulling away just so much that he could look at me without having to fully let go. “What do you say to going straight home? I really need a shower but I’m so tired of venue bathrooms.”

I ignored the way my heart fluttered at the idea of home being not just his but all of our place to retreat to. I had no idea if he’d meant it like that or not, but suddenly I wished for nothing more than a shared comfort place. With him, and with Noah. Instead of dwelling on it, I sniffed at the fabric of shirt, loudly, just to annoy him.

“Yeah, that’ll just about do, I don’t think the uber driver is gonna kick you out for that smell just yet.”

“You’re fucking rude,” he laughed, carefree and not the slightest bit impressed. Then he continued to envelop me in his arms, awkwardly rubbing his body against mine. “There. If I smell, you do too.”

I couldn’t hold back the giggle, pulling him away from where several people working at the venue pretended not to stare at us and his antics, and started making my way outside with his hand firmly in mine. “Guess we’ll both need a shower.”

•••

Neither of us mentioned the way the backseat of the cab seemed a little empty as we made our way to the hotel to pick up my suitcase and then Oli’s place. Even though Oli’s energy was filling the space tenfold and we kept talking, giggling, touching as innocently as possible while still being within the driver’s view, I was sure that he felt the absence of a third person in our midst. Tomorrow, I told myself. Tomorrow we’d talk to him. For now, I decided to focus solely on having Oli all to myself tonight.

The place was as homely as the night before, immediately drawing me in. I almost wanted to collapse on the couch, place myself just in the right way to stare out the windows once more, stay like that until the sunrise appeared, but all of that went straight out my brain as soon as Oli started undressing. He was still in the living room, lights on, with the curtains still drawn open, removing piece by piece and letting it fall on the floor. It didn’t really matter that he was fully on display - no other building in the vicinity was close or high enough to grant anyone the view that I was getting.

More and more tattooed flesh was being put on show and I drank all of it in, studying Oli’s body in a way I never had the chance to before, his broad chest, strong arms, muscular thighs, his half-erect cock. By the smirk on his face, he enjoyed the way I attempted to commit every single details about him to memory.

“Come on, love, you can’t be getting into the shower in all of that,” he grinned, motioning toward my outfit, but made no move to step closer. I didn’t mind. I could undress all on my own.

It wasn’t that I was actively trying to impress or give a show, my entire being was much too clumsy and lacking self-awareness for that, but the way I removed my top, my bra then let my skirt and tights follow before dropping my panties down my legs still seemed to have him hypnotised. It didn’t make me feel insecure. It made me feel like the most desirable person on the planet.

With his hand softly taking mine, Oli pulled me down the hallway and into his bathroom, making quick work of turning the shower on, checking until he was satisfied with the temperature and then pulled me under the large waterfall shower head. It was pure luxury. Both the way the hot water was raining down on me and how Oli wrapped himself around me once more, nothing between our naked bodies, just touches all over that had me sigh in utter relaxation.

I could feel him growing a little harder against me as my nipples perked up, but neither of us was in any hurry to do anything about it. Instead, Oli grabbed one of the bottles on the shelf next to him, stepping back to first lather himself and then me in shower gel. His hands were all over, starting at my shoulders, moving over my breasts with the utmost care, one arm, then the other, moving down my body, my back, my thighs, until he was basically kneeling in front of me. I took it all, the goosebumps following in the wake of his fingers, shivers running up and down my body under his delicate touch. When he stood back up to direct us back under the water, I almost cried out at the loss of his hands on me, before they were back, scrubbing me clean, reaching every single inch of my body. I did the same for him.

I couldn’t tell how long we stayed there as the mirror and the windows fogged up, I still could have remained there for longer, feeling safe and protected and warm, the world outside nothing but a far away thought that had no room between us. But my skin was getting wrinkly from the water and my brain was starting to get mushy from the heat, so we reluctantly detached from each other and stepped into the humid bathroom. Oli wrapped a towel around me, impossibly fluffy, then put another around his waist. We dried each other’s hair as much as possible before giving up, deciding we’d deal with the mess of it tomorrow.

Oli’s bed was unmade, none of us having had the time to strip and remake it this morning and it gave me a brief ache in my chest when I realised just how much Noah was missing, but Oli gently pushed me onto the bed, both of us losing our towels as we slid under the blanket, lights out, still staring at each other as much as our eyes allowed as they got used to the darkness.

“You’re amazing,” he said out of nowhere, his voice a little rough as we hadn’t spoken much since arriving, but it was his words which took me by surprise. “I’m sorry we drifted apart so much in the past. I think I pushed away just how much I need you.”

He moved a strand of hair away, tucking it gently behind my ear, and I had to take care not to let a trail of tears follow. Something in his voice was so honest, so vulnerable and true that I couldn’t help being emotional. It was more than I’d ever gotten from Oli, more than I’d ever thought I’d get, and even with everything that had been transpiring on this tour, I hadn’t seen it coming.

“I need you too, Oli. I don’t…” I swallowed, hard and audibly, my hand finding his, intertwining our fingers. “I don’t ever want to be without you again.”

It still felt like a risk, saying it out loud, not yet daring to say what I was really burning to utter, but hoping and praying that he knew, that he would get it, that my voice and my eyes and my hand in his would tell all. And when he kissed me, it felt like he did. When his hand wound up in my hair, it felt like he did. When he sighed against my lips, so softly, it felt like he did.

I wanted to stay in this moment forever. Anything that meant keeping his hands on me and his mouth on mine. It was so impossibly soft and sweet, it almost made me believe I was dreaming. But then Oli rolled himself on top of me, hot skin warming up my own, every single inch of him on me, his lap slotted against mine, my nipples hardening as they rubbed against his chest, and the kissing suddenly wasn’t even close to being enough. I wanted him, needed him, all of him.

The blanket was easily kicked off as the temperature rose, our naked bodies emitting more than enough heat as my thighs wrapped around Oli’s waist, pressing him harder against me. His mouth moved from my lips to my jawline, down my neck, over my breasts. All I could do was sigh in pleasure, letting his long hair tickle my skin on the way. I could feel he wanted to move further, until his head would rest between my legs, but I held onto his shoulders, then pulled ever so slightly at the back of his scalp to make him look up at me. Those gorgeous, deep, ever-changing eyes that lured me in, even when the dark room, illuminated by nothing but street lights below and the moon up above, barely let me see them.

“I want you, Oli,” I mumbled as soon as we were face to face again. “I just… want you.”

Oli, miraculously, understood. He kissed me again, so deeply that it made my head swim, before reaching down. I gladly let my legs fall open a little more, inviting his fingers in.

“At least let me prepare you a little, my love,” he whispered against my neck, one finger entering me with a sound that was impossible to ignore, a second immediately following. “So wet, so lovely and wet, just for me.”

I tried to get him closer, get more of him, pulling him in, everything that he would give me. I was losing control quickly, of the way my body moved, of the noises that he ripped from me.

“I can’t believe you’re letting me touch you like this.”

At the way his words sounded, voice low and raspy.

“Been dreaming about this so long, you don’t even know. Never thought you’d allow me to be with you like this. That you’d let me have all of you.”

He pumped his fingers a few times, experimentally adding a third finger which barely took any effort to slide in at all. Every single one of his words seemed to send another wave of lust over me, leaving me dripping and relaxed and more than ready to take him. When he pulled away, I whined pathetically, almost grabbing at his arm to keep him there.

“Come here, sweet thing.” He held his fingers out to me, tapping my lips to get me to open up. I licked them clean eagerly. “Taste yourself. Taste what you’re giving me. All for me.”

My brain wouldn’t have worked even if I’d actively tried to use it. I dumbly sucked on his fingers, a delirium waiting to happen, barely registering when he removed them from my mouth again to reach for the bedside drawer. He blindly grabbed a condom, ripping it open and putting him on, all the while keeping his eyes on my as much as possible. I loved how they looked. All hooded and pupils blown, full of arousal. I could only imagine he would be staring back at the same sight.

I immediately wrapped my legs around him again when he settled back on me. His forehead rested on mine, both of us breathing heavily, unable to keep still or quiet enough for another kiss when he pushed in.

“So perfect,” he moaned, completely in tune with mine when he buried himself in me. “So perfect, sweetheart.”

Then he started to move, slowly, carefully, as if he was afraid I could break or fall apart underneath him, and I wasn’t entirely sure that I wouldn’t. I felt like I was barely able to breathe. His cock in me, perfectly filling me up, his hands, whenever they weren’t holding his body up, everywhere on me. His eyes fully focused on mine.

The closeness hadn’t been there before. Not to this extent. And it almost made me want to break out in tears. It was simply so much, bordering on too much, while being just perfect, and all I could do was claw at his back, pull him that impossible inch closer, feel him all over, his breathing mixing with mine. He still took the time to look into my eyes, all throughout. One of my hands moved from his back to his cheek, unable to keep myself from touching his face, cradling it lovingly, a soft moment in between the heavy moans and loud noises.

Still, I didn’t see it coming.

Both of us were on the edge, steadily leaning over it and ready to fall. His thrusts were becoming quicker now, a little more shallow, and then his fingers were on my clit and I came so fast, it took me by surprise. I clenched around him, riding out my high with fingers digging into his back, letting myself fall into the feeling completely, knowing he’d be there to catch me and then he came undone too, low groans accompanying his release as he rutted into me again and-

“I love you.”

[shinjiikar1]

Once again I have so many thoughts about these episodes... i was sort of dreading watching them because i wasn't totally recovered from last week, but I ended up watching it in one sitting (with a lot of breaks to pace around and calm down lol), I really want to give this show the space and thought it deserves, it's just too good for me to watch any other way...

I'm going to make another post with my Extensive thoughts about Go Young and Young Soo, but I wanted to answer some of the questions this week first.

The first part of the story paired the relationships with Choi Mi Ae and Kim Nam Gyu. Why do you believe this section paired Yeong’s relationships with Yeom Eun Suk (Umma) and No Yeong Su (Hyung)?

I think this section really emphasized various relationships to homosexuality, particularly how it intersects with Christianity.

Both characters are homophobic (internalized or otherwise), and enact this homophobia on Go Young, but represent different aspects of how it can manifest. Umma (in the present) is willfully blind, she pressures Go Young about marriage, she sees the picture but doesn't comment, she keeps his books at her bedside and takes newspaper clippings but won't read them and she's relieved when she doesn't have to meet Young Soo. She's avoiding reality as much as she can, it seems by the end she's realized there's nothing she can do to change her son, but she wants to keep pretending that it isn't really real (an attitude I find a lot of staunchly Christian households have).

Young Soo on the other hand is reactionary and anxious. He panics and lashes out whenever Go Young does or suggests something he considers "too gay". When his senior infers he might be, he freezes and then later blows up at Go Young. He's at war with himself, and he cruelly redirects that internal conflict back onto other queer people.

Crucially, both approaches harm Go Young. He lacks acceptance and understanding from his mother as she denies a vital part from him, and he is insulted and berated by his partner because of his comfort and pride in his identity.

With the drama feeling like more of a continuous story rather than four distinct vignettes, how does the connectivity to previous characters adjust the experience with the story?

I have to say I really love the way the T-aras have been included in the show. I can't really speak on how it's adjusted the experience, but to see their continual presence in Go Young's life makes him feel just slightly less isolated and gives the audience familiar ground to stand on. When they appear at the hospital, it feels incredibly meaningful because we've seen them from the start.

While their connection with Go Young isn't as deep as some of the other characters, I think they represent a very important type of relationship. They aren't complicated, they don't insert themselves overly into each other's lives, they share some problems, but never push. I think that's why Go Young doesn't push them away, they don't have as much capacity to cause him deep and lasting harm, but they provide a source of comfort and camaraderie in a life that is otherwise isolated. Not every friendship needs to be incredibly deep and overwhelming, it's important to have friends who can provide a distraction from your problems, and a different perspective on your life. And they clearly do love and care for him, their concern at the bar and presence at the hospital show that. Just because they're not sitting down for deep philosophical chats or sharing all their trauma doesn't mean they're not good friends.

In the last section, Yeong’s experiences with Mi Ae and Nam Gyu reflected the difficult ways heteronormativity impacts queer life. How did this section highlight sources and expressions of internalized homophobia?

It's really no wonder Young Soo is homophobic given the type of people in his life and his lack of connection (intentional or otherwise) to the queer community. He views gay people in a very stereotypical and simple fashion, and on some level probably thinks he's above them because he doesn't engage in some of their more "barbarous" activities. It almost seems like he's constantly doing penance for being gay, he has to live this austere life to offset it.

After seeing Yeong's journey with these first four meaningful relationships, where are you emotionally as we head into the section with Gyu-ho?

STRESSED. I love this show Dearly, and I'm looking forward to watching more, but also I know it's going to make me cry. Especially because I know some vague spoilers (oops).

This week was such a roller coaster, but I'm enjoying the ride. I also really want to point out how well LITBC uses music, picking a specific piece to underscore each section and tie each pairing of characters together is so smart and really speaks to the level of care put into every aspect.

[serpentface]

How (if he does) does Brakul reconcile his want for a relationship with Hibrides and his kids with the knowledge of the child he abandoned? Does this cause any conflict in him?

It's kind of something he feels immense guilt about and is continually haunted by, but he's also not willing to take like full self-accountability (much less any Direct accountability, which in his very, very slight defense is next to impossible at this point). He kind of just uselessly wallows in it like 'Oh I feel horrible that's the worst thing I've ever done but also it's not my fault, I wasn't happy, I deserve to be happy, but I'm so guilty I wish I never had that kid so I didn't have to abandon him, but I had to do it, but I shouldn't have, but-" etc etc

His go-to self justification is that his ex wife/child are probably better off with his younger brother (who he's (correctly) assuming Sirudan would have remarried). Brakul wasn't treated Badly by his clan by any means but was definitely regarded as lazy and difficult, not particularly talented in any capacity, and with a tendency to cause drama. His little brother was better liked, well behaved, and better husband material. He can partly convince himself that this was really for the best.

The main way he kind of reconciles it is by treating his new circumstances as a second chance. It's simultaneously something that Feels like an opportunity to do it right this time, with people he loves and wants to be with, while also impossible to do so. He loves Hibrides like he thinks he should love a wife, but she isn't his wife. She's Janeys' wife. That's not going to change without a divorce or Janeys dying, neither of which are ideal circumstances (for Brakul or Janeys at least). The children are his, but they're claimed as Janeys' and being definitively outed (or suspected beyond doubt) as bastards would be disastrous for everyone involved, Brakul cannot father them. It's kind of like everything he could possibly want is Right There and yet impossible to Have (which in turn triggers more guilt wallowing cycles for him).

All this is part of why he's so desperate to make everything work out. He's still convinced on some level that there is SOME way this whole thing can coalesce into being a sort of stable family. Maybe when the kids are old enough to keep it secret he can be their father in private. Maybe he can get Janeys and Hibrides to stop hating each other, and get Hibrides to like him again, and he can be with his life partner AND his beloved quasi-wife AND be a father to his children and all this can stabilize into something strange and unconventional but like, okay.

He does think about his son a lot. The kid would be 14 now, close to coming of age. He's probably starting to learn men's tasks now that he's almost an adult, maybe he's even stolen his first cow or spent his first summer alone up at pasture, but Brakul can't know. He doesn't even know if he's alive or dead. He never even saw the kid start to talk, let alone take his first steps. He doesn't really know what to do with any of this.

(I would suggest reading the wildwoman bride story under the cut in this post with all this in mind. Brakul is projecting about as heavily as humanly possible on the story without outright changing the plot.)

[otomotoelzhinee]

This might be their sweetest moment so far.

But, I can't say it feels deserved? At least, from what I gathered. This change of heart comes out of nowhere. I think it's incredible seeing Shrike try and show interest into something that Beebs enjoys. Not only that, he's getting to enjoy it himself as well. Something as simple as playing the guitar, only because he probably saw Beebs doing it and he decided he wanted to do it too, cause it's cool to him! But it also means something to Beebs, and Shrike was able to pick up on that, so he offered a time for the two of them to continue playing together. Shrike's shown to have little care for others so far. When the Lythops were murdered, he was shocked, but he was able to dismiss that part entirely the moment his ship got wrecked. As he said, that's when it became personal. He didn't care about the genocide he just witnessed anymore, that was secondary, if even a concern at this point. Beebs, however, as little as time as he had with the creatures-- Who he barely interacted with compared to Shrike, is haunted by this.

And Shrike dismisses these feelings, unintentionally perhaps, but he's still avoiding them. Despite the fact that, deep down, he does feel some remorse. But it's unclear if it's for this particular incident, or something else entirely.

I feel like it's just the subject of "regrets" that gets to him, rather than him feeling any consequences from leaving Punti and letting his family be turned to paste.

But regardless, although he doesn't care much, that doesn't mean he does not care at all for other people, nor is he "incapable" of caring. There's things he wishes he could take back, just like Beebs. How they cope with this, however, is entirely different. But I don't think this disagreement is used at all for this ep. You could argue it's because this episode is not about them, or Shrike, but about Beebs.

Beebs finding his own way to come to terms with what's happened, about his own regrets he isn't ready to speak of, perhaps accepting them, or allowing the possibility to accept, in some capacity. But not letting these stop him from continuing to seek out to do things right, not letting these regrets cloud his vision, prohibiting himself from caring anymore.

That's a sweet and incredibly powerful step to make, to continue to choose to be kind, to choose to love, no matter how many times it has hurt. To continue to lose people around you and still finding meaning in connections with others, no matter how brief.

It's a direct parallel to what Shrike is doing. Isolating these feelings from everyone, not confronting them, brushing them aside. "Things happen and there's nothing anyone can do about it, so why bother." It feels like this should've brought up a conflict of sorts between the two. But, it never does. The last segment should wrap this aspect about their relationship, at least for this episode. It should be the two of them agreeing there's things they don't want to talk about, Beebs choosing to give Shrike another chance. Even if they can't see things the same way, Beebs still trusts Shrike, he chooses to. He's seen he's not as cold as he wants to make himself out to be, and therefore chooses to spend part of his time with him, to get to know him. He's his friend, and there's so little they know about eachother, he wants to change that. Shrike, on a similar note, is incredibly excited to get to gush about one of his many terran interests. But he's always done that with Beebs, he's always given him the attention. This time, he wants to return the favor. But I'm only left wondering why. After their conversation on the bridge, Shrike is too busy bickering with Scratch and gushing over Terran stuff to have any more interactions with Beebs. During the rest of the epiosde, nobody but Beebs knows what's happening, and Shrike isn't the least bit concerned. Not even for the state of Beebs' hand.

So what made him change his mind? Why does now he care if he's bothering Beebs or not with his show?Maybe out of courtesy, because of what they just went through, to "give him a break". But that feels a bit too considerate of Shrike at this moment. It feels like I just missed a key scene that was meant to bring these issues to light, and them finding a solution to help the Agari. When Beebs can't play anymore, it should've been the moment where Beebs gets a true glimpse of who Shrike really is, the moment where he has to relay on him, unwillingly putting his trust in him to make things right in such a tense moment. But then realizes-- he can trust Shrike.

Shrike notices how nervous Beebs really is, that his arm has failed him, and all he wants is to play his guitar?! No, something else is going on, something Beebs can't explain at the moment but it means everything to him right now. And Shrike chooses to trust him and aid him. Friendship! It would've made more sense then, for Beebs to look at Shrike and say "We're getting there" when the Agari asked him if he had found his way yet.

It would've made this last interaction between Shrike n Beebs watching cartoons all the more powerful. Without a real disagreement, without a small conflict between the two. It's still a sweet moment... But it almost feels empty, there's no resolution behind it, no real meaning. It's just a "small bonding moment", and after everything that went down, it doesn't feel like that was the point.

I've rewatched this ep for a bit and, although I loved everything we got lorewise, and getting to see Beebs be the focus-- I don't think the emotional impact hit as hard as it wanted. I wish I could say I cared for the Agari as much as I did for the Lythops in a single episode, but I didn't. I wish I could say Beebs going from "He's my friend…Or something" to staring into the possibility of considering Shrike an actual friend, got to me. But, it didn't feel like anything happened to defy that in the first place.

So, what changed?

[dangermousie]

Best kdrama you have probably never heard of - Someday (2006)

"I can't breathe because my heart is filled with thoughts of you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you."

Answering the ask about my perfect kdramas made me think of and want to make a pusher post for the most underrated drama on that list Someday, starring Bae Doona, Lee Jin Wook, Kim Min Joon and Oh Yoon Ah.

When she was 17, Hana (Bae Doona), a Korean brought up in Japan by her grandmother, won a prestigious award and was launched on a career as a popular manga artist in Japan. The same day Hana was launched on her path to popularity and fame, Seokman (Lee Jin Wook) was having the worst day of his life -- he and his family were involved in a car crash, leaving him the only survivor. Fast forward three years or so and the paths of Hana, now a well-known mangaka who is facing a creative drought, and Seokman, now a sort of a missing-persons detective, are about to collide.

This is both an old drama (2006) and also one released on OCN back when it was just starting, so even back when I originally watched it 15 years ago, it was not well known. It's such a pity - this one is on my Top 10 kdramas list of all time for a reason. There are so many reasons as to why this deserves to be better known - it has a delicious off-beat vibe and in some ways it reminds me on an old school jdrama with its realistic feel and its meditation on life; but it retains old school kdrama strengths of romance and suffering and gorgeous cinematography. Its love story, which made me cry and cry and then grin like a lunatic and hug my pillows - it's so unexpected and sneaks up on you and then grabs and refuses to let go. Its stories of alienation and connections and families lost and found and made. Its laid-back charm which lures you in until you, all relaxed, are whacked with the darkness at the core, and are left gasping for breath (full disclosure - this drama made me cry more than once.)

It is also a chance for you to see some wonderful performances. The always sublime Bae Doona is well...sublime, as the quirky Hana who has locked her capacity for warmth and caring far away due to childhood loss - when the story starts she is almost an alien dropped among those weird humans - curious, exploratory, and oh-so-different. One of the biggest pleasures of the drama is to watch her learn to become fully human - to feel compassion, to feel love. Lee Jin Wook is one of my huge kdrama crushes and he doesn't disappoint, playing his character with so much sweetness that you get lulled into a false sense of security and don't realize just how much damage and despair Seokman has inside, until you are confronted with it, and then go "of course - it all makes sense now." His chemistry with Bae Doona is just so pitch-perfect - their whole relationship is so full of discovery and hope and tentativeness for both of them. You can't help but root for these two very damaged people to work it out and heal each other. She has no emotions but he has no hope or self-worth - and the biggest pleasure for me was to watch both of them recover what they lack. The drama Someday reminds me of most is my favorite twdrama, Mars - the two horribly damaged protagonists with vastly different coping mechanisms make each other better. It goes dark sometimes, terribly dark, but ultimately it's the story of new beginnings and of hope.

Kim Min Joon and Oh Yoon Ah are not secondary characters in this - every member of the quartet (and they are not really a love quartet in the usual sense) is equally important. If Hana and Seokman are horribly wounded children, both KMJ and OYA play grown-ups. If you are expecting a typical older kdrama evil secondary girl, you are in for a disappointment. OYA's Hae Young is the sanest, best person in the quartet, and the one most in touch with her feelings, which include her unrequited love for her best friend Jin Pyo (KMJ). And speaking of Kim Min Joon - he plays perhaps the most controversial character in this - a psychiatrist who gloms onto Hana as a representation of his fanboy fantasies, not a real woman (he does not get to know the real Hana the way Seokman does) and who is the one most in control and delights in manipulation. But I ended up liking him nonetheless - in a way, he was caught in a bubble as much as Hana was, only this bubble was of his own willful making.

My favorite scene? Because I am a sadist, it's the sequence leading to Seokman's suicide attempt (it's either that or he gets done in, due to the debts) - his counting how many minutes he has left and getting his math wrong, his visiting the hospital and tying up all the loose ends, his scene on the river bank with Hana, his suicide attempt itself, when he walks off limping and muttering "stupid stupid stupid" not able to think of anything but that he failed.

This drama is SO GOOD and SO UNDERRATED and really should be watched.

[thelemoncoffee]

yk i tend to go the more relationship fallout direction with Kaito not knowing Shuichi very well, but what if i didn't

what if one day while Shuichi's hanging out with Kaito and starts thinking about how little Kaito knows about him, and how he tends to treat people more to how they were when they met and less how they are currently. and what if he decides to ask Kaito a hypothetical

what if he asks Kaito if he can try describing a theoretical person he made up to him, and have Kaito tell him how he'd react to and treat that person if he met him for real. and Kaito agrees and Shuichi describes his true self, hoping to find what Kaito would think of the real him

what if to his suprise Kaito takes it seriously, and actually thinks about what a person like that would be like to hang out with. and what if while he admits they'd probably have a rocky friendship, he thinks the goods outweigh the bads and he'd be able to hang with him

i just want some sorts of confrontation because the way they are in canon is so fucking baaaad. Kaito needs a wakeup call and Shuichi deserves to have a character growth moment where he can express his truest emotions in some capacity

i think the biggest boat rocker for Kaito would be the idea of Shuichi saying the "theoretical" guy wouldn't really like being called sidekick because he'd rather be seen as an equal and not the posse of someone better. this rocks Kaito because he never actually realized that the title could be taken that way, even if it wasn't his intent

Bonus points: Kaito retold this whole convo to Maki and she bluntly drops on him a "Shuichi was talking about himself" and Kaito's brian 404's

[batsplat]

I keep seeing people say Agostini likes Marc and I think you had post which included what Agostini thinks about the rosquez situation.

I was wondering if you knew if they have actually interacted or how this fondness started. And if it's continued.

Apologies if you've already made a post about this and i missed it 😊

And thank you for all the responses to my prev asks!!! You are like my favourite grandparent i sidle up to and ask to reveal some new thing of the MotoGP world. Which you do so patiently 💛. ( I'm sorry for the grandparent comparison i couldn't find a better one 😔😔😔😔😔).

ahaha that's super sweet. and honestly, I don't think there's really a story here, beyond 'ago quite likes him'! they did a joint interview of sorts at the laureus awards in 2015 which is worth a watch - which came after that 2014 season in which a big talking point was how it looked like marc might be able to match ago's numbers in 'winning everything'... also you have that presser clip from 2013 where the riders are asked ago or hailwood, and marc says "if everybody say ago, ago" and laughs, which. I mean. I'm sure respected ago just fine but it's probably worth pointing out he's not exactly an enthusiast, is he

but yeah, beyond wading into a couple of marc controversies, ago's definitely spoken warmly about him quite frequently over the years. as early as 2014, he was saying that if marc matched his records, he deserved to do so - and in 2020, he said marc didn't need to switch bikes to prove his greatness. he compared marc to one of his own big rivals, hailwood, in 2019, he spoke with sympathy about marc's switch to ducati at the back end of last year and sounded confident marc could win again (+ here), and made similar comments early this year and likewise was fairly encouraging in may. in 2023, he also spoke about marc's capacity to put on a show. plus, he also said in 2018 that marc and valentino's relationship doesn't matter as long as "they both make us have fun and give us a show", and also that "they do not have to marry". giacomo agostini homophobic dog question mark

a lot of it just seems kinda generic 'legend of the past being nice about the new kid', like say doohan was with valentino but without the mentorship angle. but yeah, ago does seem fonder of marc than he does of marc's contemporaries? with valentino, let's be honest, part of it is that he was the first to really show up and challenge some of ago's records (even steal some of them like premier class wins) - plus he's italian so there's really more direct competition than there is with marc. but y'know, obviously ago's been asked about both of them gunning for his records (generally win number for valentino and title number for marc)

you can read tonal differences into those answers if you so choose, but you can also say he's expressing roughly the same sentiment for both (if you so choose). ago did also joke in early 2020 that he'd beat them both:

(again, this is obviously a joke and I'm not going to read anything into it lol, just thought I'd include it)

ago does have retired athlete talking head syndrome where he does... y'know, have a lot of opinions and has shared quite a lot of those opinions. which... okay, I'm aware this isn't really what this ask was about, but. look. I just have to bring in jorge lorenzo at this point. this is only tenuously relevant, but I think it kinda provides a fun contrast with how utterly drama-free the dynamic between marc and ago is... AND gives some much needed context for how ago was relating to some other star riders of this century

ago and jorge had always gotten on pretty well - and ago joked back in the day that jorge had to stop valentino from getting too many more wins. it is probably worth mentioning that in that 2013 clip I linked to above, all the riders at the presser were asked the 'ago or hailwood' question. in response, jorge, that old simp, essentially went 'actually the goat is valentino'... but that's really isn't about ago as much as it is about jorge's relationship with valentino being *gestures vaguely* complicated. weird. complicated. anyway, look, ago and jorge got on well, had done so for years. then, in may of 2020, shortly after jorge's retirement and with no racing whatsoever going on during lockdown, the two of them got into a PUBLIC SPAT!! (low key between this and the dovi feud picking up again at the end of the year, jorge was really working overtime to make motogp less depressing that year)

the argument was prompted by ago's comments about jorge's time with ducati and honda:

so basically he's saying jorge was mid for three years because his head wasn't in it. which is... a debatable assessment of jorge's 2017-19, but let's just run with it. now jorge obviously isn't the type to just let this kind of thing go unchallenged, so he hit back:

for some reason. jorge's father also got involved, as he has an unfortunate tendency of doing:

(I'm gonna be so real, personally I wouldn't be particularly flattered if one of my parents suggested I could challenge one of my main career rivals 'on my day'. but anyways)

and then mr agostini in turn doubled down and told jorge that 'the truth hurts':

note the bit about how ago had sided with jorge against valentino! it is broadly true that ago has often been very complimentary of jorge, including to the detriment of valentino - and apparently that might have created tension with valentino's team. ago also added the following bit and it's kinda even more brutal:

so basically - ducati didn't pay jorge that much to win three races. funnily enough. jorge did not take kindly to these comments... and then he hit back on instagram (all of this is still in may 2020 btw, literally the only thing we had going for us). here's the text from the post:

jorge lorenzo a proud fellow warrior in the 'it's useless to compare different eras' campaign, saluting a real one

so, after jorge had said that ago doesn't know what he's talking about, that this kind of criticism was 'improper' from a legend like ago... we'd actually finally gotten to the point where ago wanted to clamp down on the controversy. here's what he had to say:

he doesn't want controversy! it's not his fault jorge didn't win! jorge didn't win a title with either ducati or honda! what a shame!

okay, there is arguably a slight difference in rhetoric between saying 'well I can't say he won at honda when he factually didn't!!!' and 'ducati paid him a lot and got nothing out of it' - BUT obviously this was still a bit of an olive branch from ago. unfortunately, we've gotten no updates on whether ago did ever reach out privately, but we did get jorge's response. and jorge... kinda accepts the peace...? but also not really!

so to paraphrase jorge here, he's basically going 'sure fine I'll accept the peace but I also know ago will start the same shit again when he has a microphone in front of him!!' - and also makes it clear that jorge will not shut up about ago chatting shit, unlike those other cowards who just let ago get away with it (including other champions). jorge then goes on to talk about their personal relationship and ago's past support of him:

and then jorge goes on to stridently defend his time with the ducati project - pointing out that, without detracting from what casey had done, it was a very good bike back when casey won the 2007 title:

(yes, obviously there is a rider who was doing rather a lot more with that bike during the same time span as jorge was there - who you'll note jorge very much does not name. I suppose jorge's argument would be that this particular rider had been with the team since 2013. without getting too much into 2017-18 discourse in a post that really isn't about that, it is broadly true jorge just Was Not Clicking with that bike for way too long, but he was running dovi pretty close in 2018 until he got injured at aragon. which is also because dovi was having a pretty ragged first half of the season himself but y'know, six of one half a dozen of the other. also low key those three jorge wins did get during his time at ducati massively flatter how that stretch of his career gets perceived a few years later, but again. this isn't all too relevant. just some historical context!)

and jorge rounds up the whole thing by demanding an actual apology:

and, lastly, here's what ago said in june:

anyway, that's basically it as the public spat went, but it did still give us some nice little gems. you'll note that jorge believes ago was supporting him against valentino - "what I know is that in the duel I had with rossi he wanted me to win races more, for the titles and all that". and then, of course, there's the fun bit where jorge says that ago has also said inaccurate things about valentino before: "because he has also said things about valentino many times that did not correspond to reality". jorge going full 'enemy of my enemy' about valentino on this issue is just extremely him, not least because that is a rivalry where, according to him!! ago basically always was rooting for jorge! and YET jorge's like 'valentino may not speak up on this issue but I!! will!!' I honestly have no clue if there's anything specific jorge's referring to here that ago is getting wrong about valentino... but again ago does have retired athlete talking head syndrome so really it could be anything

what this does do is give us a little bit of confirmation that ago probably isn't the world's biggest valentino rossi fan (obviously, valentino wouldn't let you know that kind of thing so it's great when you've got someone a little more talkative like jorge around). jorge didn't have to bring in valentino here - he did so of his own volition, because he apparently disagreed quite strongly with something ago had said about one of jorge's fiercest rivals. by contrast, there's nothing comparable you can point to with marc... which, given that we've established ago has run his mouth about past champions, would lead you to the conclusion that ago really is a bit of a marc fan. all things considered, ago seems genuinely fond of the little guy! he's never really talked him down, or taken another rider's side against marc! why? ... unfortunately, I have no clue. maybe it is linked to ago's feelings towards valentino, maybe it's completely unrelated and he just likes marc a lot, maybe he's a fan of him as a rider or his personality or something else. there's not really anything to suggest they're particularly close - for instance, I don't think marc has had dinner with ago's family like jorge has - but he generally always seems happy to offer up a lot of marc prop without any qualifications. it just seems like quite an uncomplicated relationship, and given ago's been fairly vocal within the past year about marc's switch to ducati, about how he could win again etc etc... he's perhaps quite enjoyed following that story. mostly, there's clearly just a lot of mutual respect there... and if ago did ever find cause to criticise marc as strongly as he did jorge, well, it's a lot less likely marc would decide to clap back on instagram. that'll help, I suppose

[cloudraker]

MTMTE Roddi or Whirl with a love-hate relationship with a human liaison y/n who prides herself on being super polite, lady-like and as professional as possible. But! When they think no one's watching they curse like a sailor.

I want you to know I sat and thought about this request for sooo long I think it's amazing thank you anon <33

MTMTE Rodimus and Whirl with a Ladylike Liaison

Under the cut :)

Whirl

Honestly thinks you're a stick in the mud, a second Magnus sent to ruin all things fun

He's going to spend a truly brow raising amount of time trying to provoke you, only to be met with professional indifference every time

It's truly infuriating, but he's made it his personal mission to get you to crack in some way and he's nothing if not determined (to be a pain in the ass)

It's when he hears something drop and shatter that he goes to investigate, hoping to find somebody to make fun of, only to find you standing above (what he thinks) is a broken glass and a bright liquid seeping into the floor

What surprises him the most is that your attitude has changed completely, curses he's never even heard of spilling from your mouth with practised ease

His entire worldview is changed, endless opportunity stretched before him at the sheer novel of words he's just learned. You've created a monster

It's only now that you notice him come in, and it's impossible to miss the glee radiating from his single eye

"Holy shit." "Whirl-"

Now that he knows you do have the capacity to swear, it's his new goal to make you do it in public. Others are rather confused at the new attitude Whirl has taken towards you, but simply write it off as Whirl being himself

Rodimus

Also thinks you're a stick in the mud, a second Magnus sent to ruin all things fun

As captain of the ship, he spends quite a bit of time with you during your shifts, and has decided that you're a very stuck up, no fun sort of person and isn't surprised in the slightest when you and Magnus hit it off

He was honestly rather excited about having a human on the ship at first, but quickly lost interest after realizing you wouldn't entertain his antics

It's when the two of you are on a late shift on the bridge when Rodimus gets a call from a bot you don't recognize, but from the way Rodimus stiffens it's clear he does

The entire call is basically Rodimus getting chewed out for something he may or may not have done and he may or may not deserve the chewing out, but the bot on the call was honestly just a dick about it

Once the call ends, Rodimus slumps into his chair and it's clear he's thrown off from what just happened

"Who the fuck was that?" "Wh- huh?" "Like, seriously. What a prick!"

He's truly amazed you know how to swear, a dumbfound look on his face slowly being replaced by a smirk and a huff as he chimes in with his own grievances

A bit miffed when you return to your upstanding citizen shtick the next day. Nobody believes him when he tells his tale of the night before

[betaboks]

Okay hashihime au nonsense because I have a lot of spare ideas. Love writing spinoffs for my own fanfiction

Something I realize I completely forgot to address even in the authors notes was that. Like, by the end there Niji totally also has a hashihime. Those transfer when you kill someone with one, not that any characters involved have any way of knowing that. He totally got the hashihime of the man that he killed, and to me sincerely he probably didn't realize for like, a hell of a while. He just doesn't have a reason to see his eyes under his goggles very often.

In any case I definitely think this Niji skipped town pretty much immediately after his Sanji disappears back in time. Sanji was one of the few things tethering him to Germa to begin with and one of the things making it bearable, and with him gone, he may as well try to abide by his wishes, "do something less upsetting", and he can't do that while living there and being a military commander and prince.

He takes Michael with him, not because he cares about her or anything, he's never really spoken to her, but because she's the only other person who knew Sanji at all and cared about him as well. It's not like she has a job anymore, she got put down in the dungeon as glorified babysitter for a reason— and it's not that she really wants to risk herself and leave either, but with enough strongarming everything is possible, and it spares her a crueler fate.

Niji's still not the sort of person who has his emotional capacities actually sorted out. He cared about Sanji, but Sanji isn't there anymore. Trying to sort out having emotions without the person that made you have them in the first place is a doozie, especially since they haven't fully developed but still do keep developing without him there. Whatever relationship he forms with Michael through their travels ends up being kind of weird and unhealthy on his end because he kinda sees similarities between her and his brother and keeps lowkey projecting Sanji onto her. She has to keep snapping him out of it, and the more she does the more she grows a backbone and stops being so scared of him, though she keeps the overly polite streak.

It's not all terrible, though. I know for a fact Michael christens him some silly name from one of her favorite books so they're less easy to track, and Niji takes to it as if he'd never been named no. 2 at all, much to her delight. And Niji on the other hand helps her feel more confident— his praise for her skills as a fighter and soldier are quite candid and slowly disabuse her of the notion that she was strictly bad at her job and thus useless as an individual. Really, her issues were mostly being soft, and if she is a failure for that, Niji tells her he's becoming one too just the same. His apparent selfishness lets him do whatever the hell he wants, too, even when it rains, so there's at least a little upside to his emotions still not being completely normal the way an average person's would be.

Eventually they'd end up traveling with the strawhats for a while, and they slowly help untangle Niji's too-tight grip on Michael and learn to let her go and do her own thing. They were good as traveling companions for a while but it wasn't really meant to be forever, and Michael deserves to live in peace and away from the threat of Germa hunting her down due to association with him. Niji stays with them even when they drop her off though.

When they ask him if he has a dream or not, he tells them he still doesn't think he's enough of a human being to really have one for himself yet, but that he really wants to build an honest-to-god time machine. He wants to be able to figure out how these things work, and honestly he just wants his little brother back so he can show him the outside world. The strawhats keep him while he figures out whether or not that ends up being his actual dream or if he has a more selfish one for self-fulfillment down the road, and if they keep him indefinitely even after he figures that out, well, that's just the way things go.

Also honestly I didn't know where else to put it here but I don't think he ever regains use of his arm. He just didn't care for it properly in the process of running away and at that point it wasn't fully healed, so the sling becomes a bit of a permanent fixture with him. He doesn't mind and doesn't want to particularly have it fixed in any capacity if it even can be, he regards it as a parting gift from Sanji.

[multi-babii]

okay some of my thoughts on the last episode right after finishing it

‼️ spoilers for the last episode ‼️

i'm happy wilmon got a happy ending

i would however like to see them actually working on everything that was an issue in their relationship and actually talking with each other

wille's abdication was something we all have seen coming and i'm happy it happened because he really wasn't happy about being the crown prince and the king

the redemption with wilhelm's parents was bit underwhelming but i'm still happy it happened

i'm still not sure about august but i do think he actually is sorry in some capacity

i liked the talk he had with wilhelm about eric, because we will never know what he would say about wilmon but i think this was the best way for wille to get some sort of closure

also i think he's right, we know eric loved him and i think simon was right about what he said when he found out about the initiations (it being peer pressure and such)

sara and august not being together is good because sara was right - august has issues and just because sara was the first one to see him doesn't mean he can just be forgiven for everything

also liked the talk about how now that he got to be in the line for the throne his life is going to be harder and how his position before was much easier

in a sense it could be seen as a punishment for him as well, he got what he wanted in the beginning but it will cost him a lot

i liked that sara decided to put simon and felice over august

sara and felice fixing up their relationship is nice as well, but again i would like to see them talk about it bit more

i'm also happy felice said the truth about the school and how sara supported her

i was really excited for stella and fredrika this season but i was really disappointed with them

i'm happy they got together, but the way they treated felice was just so off-putting

(also stella lashing out on rosh at the party was a reminder that they still have a superiority complex)

madison is still an icon though, no notes

i still don't know how i feel about vincent, like sometimes he's really funny but then he says something completely insane and i want to tape his mouth shut

i did really like the coming out scene with nils august and vincent, it was really nice moment

there was not enough of henry and walter in the last season, truly sad

i'm actually not that mad that hillerska's closing honestly, i think it makes sense with the show ending

(also completely honest, they are all rich spoiled brats with a superiority complex that thought that just because they are rich the rules wouldn't apply to them so i'm not going to be sad for them that much) (still love wille and felice)

overall i have mixed feelings about the whole season 3 but the finale was nice ending for the show

and getting a happy ending really seemed impossible so i'm glad it happened (god knows we all deserve it)

omar and edvin really portrayed the characters so well, their acting was phenomenal and they made this show into what it is

also shout out to all the other actors, they truly were all amazing

and lastly, i'm gonna really miss this show

[toaarcan]

I've seen a fair few people make videos where they discuss how much the quality of the Archie book jumped up after Flynn took over (which it did, let's not downplay how much better he was than Penders), whether as a focus of the main topic or just as part of a wider statement, and there's something that baffles me about the B-roll that often gets chosen for this sort of statement.

Sonic and Tails' reconciliation from Issue 179 is normally part of the examples of things Flynn fixed, and I fucking hate that scene and think it's one of the lowest points of Sonic's entire character in the book.

And like, on some level, it makes sense why people look at that and go "Yes, this is better", because Penders broke the friendship between Sonic and Tails and Flynn repaired it, that's good. Bit weird that it took him 19 issues to get there but whatever, he's only got so many pages a month.

But it's the way Flynn has it happen that pisses me the hell off, because it ends up repeating one of the major mistakes of Penders' run, and people just kinda ignore that.

Sonic tells Tails that his entire relationship with Fiona was a farce, and he only agreed to be her boyfriend because he thought that doing so would make Tails move on from his unrequited crush.

So first of all this is a really stupid plan. Like, hey, Sonic, you're friends with Amy Rose, why did you ever think "My crush isn't single" would convince anyone to stop crushing? I know this version of Sonic isn't far out from saying that he "takes everything Amy says with a grain of salt" (which feels unbelievably mean to Amy. I've never been an Amy fan but even when my opinion of her was at its lowest, I never thought she deserved that shot across the bow), and I know Tails is generally treated as being somewhat more mature than Amy despite them being the same age in Preboot Archie, but this nonetheless should've been a major sign that this was a stupid plan.

But the thing that pushes it over the edge into "Sonic you unbelievable asshole" is that it's very, very apparent that Fiona didn't know. She probably still doesn't know. He was using her.

And I know some people will argue that Fiona was also using Sonic, but she makes it clear that she was desperately trying to find the thrill she got from being with Scourge with someone who wasn't, y'know, this creep.

In 172, she describes Sonic as 'boring', and no wonder she did, it was fake the entire time and nobody told her.

(This is part of why I dislike the take that Fiona has much more agency as a villain, because she basically never makes an informed decision under Ian's pen. She has no idea that Sonic never loved her-though knowing that would probably only make her angrier- and she has no idea that Scourge is an omnicidal maniac who has already tried to kill her by proxy at least once. She never really knew either of her partners, despite her relationships to them being the driving force of her character)

At the end of the day, this story reduces Fiona to an object to be fought over, without her ever being fully aware of that, and the resolution of it all isn't making things right for her, it's having the two protagonists involved make up, while she gets left stuck with Scourge, who has demonstrated the capacity to kill her if it suits his goal.

[blitheringmcgonagall]

For some time, what I liked the most about Lily (and the basis for my characterization of her) was that she had ended her friendship with Snape. Not in a vindictive, I-Hate-Him-And-He-Deserves-The-Worst type of way, but in a "I'm so glad she realized their friendship had became toxic at that point and she made the right choice for herself and cut him off". I really admired her capacity to stand up for herself, you know?

What do you think about their friendship?

I’m really interested in Lily’s friendship with Snape. I get that he was the first peer who (unlike her sister) accepted her as a witch and despite it. He explained what Hogwarts would be like and made her feel excited and less nervous about going. He was clearly very taken with her (as a friend initially anyway), and reassured her (massive lie) that being a muggleborn wouldn’t matter.

But…

The thing is, we know that at the very start of his friendship with Lily:

He was mean to Petunia, and purposely dropped a branch on top of her

He knew more dark magic going into Hogwarts than most 7th years (source: Sirius Black)

He got sorted into slytherin and we know by the end of 5th year he was:

Friends with wannabe Death Eaters

Friends with Lucius Malfoy (that’s from a younger age as he was older and left school years beforehand)

Making up very vicious/dangerous dark magic spells like sectumsempra and using it on “enemies”

Making up other less vicious but still not pleasant spells like Levicorpus

Hanging out with bigoted wankers who called muggleborn students slurs and he was also doing this too (except not to Lily)

Hanging out with Death Eater wannabes who attacked Mary McDonald and calling the attack with dark magic a bit of a joke

Trying to out Remus Lupin for being a werewolf

In what universe did it take Lily (who we know was clever, cheeky, popular, stood up to other popular people like the marauders) so long to figure out her friend was a supremacist arsehole who she needs to ditch goodo, in fact, yesterday???

How do we understand this serious lapse in judgement/blind spot when it came to Snape?

I have some ideas…

What if Lily is really loyal to her friends to the same degree as James? Imagine someone trying to warn James that one of his best friends was a bad guy - he wouldn’t believe it (eh, wait, that’s exactly what happened, it was clear SOMEONE was the spy and it being a friend of his wasn’t a runner!!) - she regards it as the height of dishonour to mistrust her friends. Presumably Snape keeps some of his least savoury elements hidden from her (although by the time of SWM in 5th year she is aware of eg his calling people mudbloods etc) and she refuses to believe he’s gotten THAT bad.

She has a soft spot for the underdog. Snape is a kind of underdog - very obviously poor and halfblood in slytherin, a bit of an easy target for bullies, not good looking, grumpy, a bit painful personality wise etc. She stands up for him immediately as soon as James and Snape go after him. And she immediately stands up for Remus when Snape tries to say he’s a werewolf etc. Of course, James Rich Boy Mollycoddled Doted-On Quidditch-Star Clever Clogs Top of His Class Fleamont Pooter is the literal polar opposite of an underdog (you’re fucked, Potter)

We are told she’s kind, it’s a defining feature of her personality - so probably she makes excuses for him - hang on, she says it herself, she makes excuses and stands up for him and defends him to her other friends despite the shit-ton of evidence that this guy is bad news for too long… until she can’t

When SWM happens, she’s confronted with the ugly truth that her friendship with Snape is beyond redemption. It’s very hard to admit that and let go of a relationship- platonic or romantic - that you’ve invested in for years. HE WAS HER BEST FRIEND- that’s like James realising Sirius is a Voldy supporter and ditching him. Just because we in this fandom hate Snape doesn’t mean she did.

And Lily does that. When it finally hits her (late, in my opinion, because of the above reasons), she makes the right choice for herself and cuts him out. She doesn’t give into him when he refuses to go away and tries to get her to still be friends with her outside Gryffindor Tower. She sticks to her (right) decision and I applaud her for that difficult but really sensible, insightful decision. I think that’s proof that Lily is not a walk-over. It takes her ages to realise who Snape has become but when she gets it, she acts. And I love her for it. She did the right thing for herself I completely agree 🥺♥️

[roo-bastmoon]

LOCK IT DOWN, Y'ALL

Puppykitties, I do not mean this harshly, but distractions, drama, and sabotage happen with every comeback and never more so than with Jimin.

We are in the fight of our lives for placement on the charts and awards on music programs. We need fewer filtered streams and much higher sales.

WE HAVE MONEY TO SPEND FOR JIMIN AND VERY FEW TO STEP UP AND MAKE AN ACCOUNT TO BUY:

We absolutely cannot focus on trash talk and ship discourse right now.

Yes, I know today there was a lot of excitement. Joon, Yoongi, Tae, JK, and others (many others in the industry) went to Harry Styles' concert today and it very much appears that Jimin and J-Hope did not. How do I know? Because there's photos of the Tannies on their personal time all over my timeline when there should be screenshots of streaming and voting.

It's disappointing because Jungkook just got done saying he was human too and asking us not to stalk him during his private time. I know some folks feel like if you're out in public, you are "fair game." But that's my point: they aren't game, they aren't prey--they are people and they deserve to be able to hang out with their friends and not have it scrutinized and weaponized. So just know it's always best to let THEM be the ones to share such info, like Joon and Tae did on their insta.

You best believe, the more we pressure them like this, the less we'll get of them.

The last time we saw Jikook together off-schedule, just the two of them alone, they got in a car to leave from the airport in April of 2022. A few days later, the gossip rags sabotaged Jimin's first OST With You with a bullshit scandal about missing insurance premium payments and his apartment "seizure" (on paper).

And ever since that day, we have not seen Jikook hang out in any personal capacity, unless you count the arcade in DC with Hobi and Her. Not once have we seen them alone. POINTEDLY.

There's been blurry CCTV photos of two people in a mini mart and whispers from K forums of folks seeing them around the neighborhood, but nothing concrete; they don't even mention each other in TMIs any more.

We KNOW they have hung out, as per inferences from their family, tattoo artist, and boxing coach, but no solid evidence from the primary source, even when directly asked. Again, POINTEDLY.

And yet when they are together for a work thing or online, they get along like a house on fire. They slap butts and tap hands and do cute things for each other's birthdays and get into giggle fits and compliment each other and flirt like crazy on WeVerse. Jungkook has issued several emphatic invitations for Jimin to come to him and told us to look forward to his teaser at midnight.

But they aren't sharing their relationship with us like they used to, so we honestly do not know if they hang out in person much these days.

P.O.I.N.T.E.D.L.Y.

Not because there's any indication of bad blood or a whiff of a breakup. Our little perfectionist is booked and busy, and our golden maknae was taking time to recharge.

You need to remember that since solo era was mentioned, Jimin has been writing, composing, and recording his own songs.

He's traveled abroad multiple times--Chicago, LA, NYC, Paris--to name a few.

He's hosted people who have traveled to Korea to work with him.

The producers admonished him for not taking breaks to eat or shower and in fact sleeping in the studio for many nights.

He's had to rehearse for music shows, concerts, his collab, and his own music videos.

He's been training so hard on new choreo that he was in too much pain to join Jin for his birthday and you KNOW how our boy feels about his members' birthdays.

He's filmed RUN content and commercials and a documentary and all sorts of stuff for his own album.

He's had work as brand ambassador for Dior and Tiffany's beyond just Fashion Week, which was huge.

I've lost count of the number of high-end photoshoots he's done for Vogue, W, Elle, and I don't know what all else.

The man JUST got off a plane the day before from traveling half-way around the world to interview with and perform for Fallon for TWO NIGHTS.

If I were him, I wouldn't dash over to a packed concert less than 24 hours later, either. Doesn't mean I don't love my members, or my partner, or Styles. It means I'm TIRED and I'm protecting my health and energy.

Especially considering there are appearances on television coming up and god knows what else to promote FACE.

AND FACE IS WHAT WE SHOULD BE FOCUSED ON.

I love you all, but I swear to God, if you give your time and energy to the assholes on the timeline attacking Jikook, you are robbing Jimin of the time and energy you should be giving to voting, streaming, buying, and hyping FACE. Which is what they want. They want to siphon that energy from you. Please don't be stupid.

We are grasping for every INCH of space on the charts up against absolute giants this and next week. It would be different if all of ARMY got behind Jimin 24/7 but you know how many little 7s actually behave when push comes to shove. To say nothing of the antis, mantis, multis, and cult working against him with purpose.

Please don't let this kind of crap sabotage Jimin's hard work. Celebrate the fact that some BTS members got to hang out at a concert, and honor the fact that some BTS members had other things to do.

PLEASE snap out of it and stick to our goals. We can debate Jikook all day long after FACE is safely to bed. FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS.

We are in lockdown.

SO LOCK THAT SHIT DOWN.

Love, Roo

[theflagscene]

payurain for the ship ask game!

PayuRain

Mmm, okay, firstly I wanna say that BossNoeul have chemistry out the wazoo, like so much chemistry, they are fabulous together. I love Noeul’s ‘don’t give a fuck’ attitude toward skinshipping, he will lick and bite and ride Boss into oblivion and giggle the entire way there, I love that for him lol.

Payu and Rain had the capacity to be really great characters and a really great couple, if they weren’t stuck in the dumpster fire that is the Mame universe. The level of sexual manipulation and non consensual touching really put a damper on the beginning of their relationship for me, I know when LitA was airing there was a lot of stuff going around about how Rain was a brat that didn’t know it and Payu was a brat tamer - all BDSM terms - which might have been what Mame was going for. Personally I don’t think it was, she has a tendency to write extremely toxic characters and seems to always wrap a r*pe fantasy around them no matter what, it has nothing to do with BDSM. She has maybe four or five couples that I can think of off the top of my head that don’t have some sort of sexual misconduct between them or has a tragic r*pe backstory.

I never saw PayuRain as the ‘brat tamer and brat’ because the moment Rain gave in to Payu and became an active participant in the relationship, no longer being the mouse to Payu’s cat, their entire dynamic changed. The dom/sub angle, which I had to squint and turn my head sideways to see it was so minimal - to me that is - was poorly executed to say the very least. Again, if that’s what Mame was going for and I don’t think it was.

I’m going to be honest (like I haven’t been already? lol!), I think they were badly written characters in an even worse written show. Rife with toxic problematic tropes and pointless kidnapping storylines - seriously why always with the kidnapping!? - it was your typical Mame fair. Boss and Noeul deserve another chance at being leading men, they deserve better writing, better world building, just better!

I wanted to like LitA, I did. I was excited when I saw the trailers, I was excited when I saw the lead actors chemistry. But it fell flat and it had nothing to do with the actors and everything to do with the writing, I’ve been waiting for Mame’s writing to get better for I’d say, the past six-ish years now. And I know I’m going to sound like the complete English lit major I was, but it has stayed as pedestrian as ever. PayuRain were a soft pass for me, while PrapaiSky were the hardest pass for me. All four actors deserve better, and I hope in 2024 they get it.

⛵️Send Me A Ship & I’ll Share My Thoughts⛵️

Note: These are just my own personal thoughts on the characters, anyone who enjoys them or Mame in general, I don’t judge. I won’t yuck your yums but I will yuck my own yucks, which is perfectly fine 😉