#They haven’t been good; but the unexpected character interactions were entertaining

[raifuujin]

:/ :/

Ngl, I was hoping for a Hakuba and Kidnichi meeting...

But I was hoping for it in the movie, where it could at least be funny. (And also have precedent for Kidnichi.) Like, Hakuba mentioning that 'Shinichi' looks like someone he knows, or general immediate suspicion/knowing and poking.

Which I guess could still happen, but. Gosho why. You probably don't have the time within your case structure to make it fun, and. The full potential would have been before a murder added a layer of 'it's not worth my time to actually catch Kid, there's a more pressing criminal here'.

Though, the murder is at least an uncommon Kid event. Wish him playing detective were. You know. New. And also not teased and ripped away by the 'actually, it's not Kid, it was Vermouth all along!' case. I'm still salty about the mess of implications that were just thrown out there just for the shocking twist. Like. Conan casually accepting that Kid would show up as his dad is one thing, but also the general idea of 'no, actually, since it was Vermouth the whole time, she figured that she could set it all up, and knew Conan would accept help if Kid randomly showed up and offered it, and somehow knows his mannerisms when he interacts with Conan to not be suspected at all'. Mystery Train surprise help would not have keyed her in to anything to justify all that.

... -brushes the salt back into the corner-

My Kid bias really can't fight back against all the disappointment from the past. But I'll still wait and see how the case pans out.

[cno-inbminor]

domus

a/n: here we have another short drabble dump! i wrote this up very quickly -- i’m still working on that long fic i’ve been talking about! i apologize for taking so long to put it together. pls take this short fic as an apology for now. stay hydrated, wear your masks, and be safe! love you all so dearly <3 

plot: when kuroo tetsuro drops the hard-hitting truth that he’s fallen out of love with you, your first thought is to escape. but you find comfort in the least likely person: akaashi keiji, a boy you had grown up with out of forced family interactions, who always seemed so distant from you. yet you probably knew more about him than anyone else. 

characters: fem!reader, ex-bf!kuroo, & family friend!akaashi 

wc: ~3.7k, will probably have other parts in the future.

genre/warnings: angst with dashes of fluff; mentions of alcohol

pt. 2 | pt. 3

edit: now crossposted to AO3!

When you’re in love, you spend weeks and months wondering why time won’t stop. You sit and ponder over why you’ll have to die someday and leave behind the person you’ve dedicated your entire soul to, or what might happen if your death came early and you didn’t get to say goodbye. You wonder why the seasons seem to pass you by so quickly, that in the blink of an eye, you go from enjoying a cup of iced tea on the porch to holding a mug of hot chocolate inside watching snowflakes swirl in their journeys to the ground.

But when love ceases to exist, time seems to stop. The days drag for longer, the seasons crawl at a turtle’s pace, and the inevitable end feels less terrifying. You no longer fear the eventual sagging of your skin or the spider legs that grow at the corners of your eyes. You no longer cling onto a hope that there will be a lover’s hand holding yours at your bed of eternal sleep. You simply become, just you. Solitary, single, independent you.

It’s no longer you and someone else. The realization stings so badly that it physically hurts you, a whimper leaving your throat. You shakily reach over for the next blouse and fight back the tears, teeth gnawing at your bottom lip. The skin is chapped and broken to the point that you would need layers and layers of chapstick to save any semblance of it, a terrible habit that you wish you hadn’t possessed. It’s muscle memory, the way you fold the blouse in half, fold the sleeves in, bending it over your arm before it lands in a neat stack of other tops in your suitcase. Your eyes take a glance at the clock, and you gather you have about another hour before you needed to leave for the airport and make it on time for your flight.

You ignore the male figure hunched over on the edge of your bed, tuning out his pleas and broken promises. He begs you to give him time, to implore that it’s all his fault and he’ll make it work for the two of you. Tetsuro promises that he didn’t mean to and that it wasn’t anything you did, but you feel so empty inside that you can’t even find the energy to argue, to turn on him and say that he was pretending to take all the blame so it’d be a better explanation to all your friends. A relationship involves both parties, and while there were special exceptions, this wasn’t one of them. Something was clearly wrong with you, and you were okay with that. You were just tired of Testuro attempting to take everything onto himself.

“I thought it’d be best to come clean with you,” he says, throat hoarse from lack of hydration. “I know you would question it and I haven’t done anything, I swear, I know you’re amazing and don’t deserve to live a lie and—”

“Do you want me to say ‘thank you’?” You interjected quietly, morosely. Your hands slide open the underwear drawer and take out a week’s worth of underwear, bras, and bralettes. “Do you want me to express my gratitude in your honesty for telling me that you don’t love me anymore? You can easily buy a trophy online and make the inscription yourself. ‘Most honest man alive’? Is that what you want?” You ask, tone flat and not possessing the least bit of amusement and humor.

“Can’t you give me some time? I’ll try, I’ll try to figure out what went wrong, and I can love you again. We can still get married and everything, but please don’t leave.”

“I’m not leaving forever, Tetsu. I’m just gone for a week, maybe more.”

“Where are you even going?”

“That’s none of your business,” you quickly reply, defenses back up as you make a beeline for the bathroom. You pick up all the toiletries you can, the ones that would be allowed in your carry-on. Strangers won’t care about your missing skincare routine and your complexion not looking its best.

“What if you get lost? Or kidnapped? What if people ask—”

“Easy. Just tell them I had a last minute business trip, family emergency, whatever floats your boat.”

“Can’t you see that I’m trying? I—”

“This isn’t just about you!” You snap, whirling around to look at him for the first time in the last hour or so. Testuro notices with a pang in his heart that your cheeks have sunken in slightly since he broke his revelation to you just last week, the eye circles darker than ever. But your eyes are soulless, dead, no shine or spark that he’d wake up to every morning even muddled with sleep.

“You can’t just expect me to be okay and continue to bend over backwards for you without question. The least you could do is give me my time, give me some space to think about all of it. That’s the bare minimum.”

And with that, you zip your suitcase shut, grab your passport (even though you probably don’t need it), keys, wallet, and phone, and walk as quickly as you can to the front door. The scheduled Uber will arrive in just a few minutes, and as you slip into a pair of flats, you can hear the creak of the bed and Testuro’s padded steps nearing you.

“Just be careful, okay? Call me if you need anything, anything. You’re still one of the most important people to me, so just – text me at some point. Let me know you’re alive at least.”

“You need to rest. You’re on call tomorrow,” you digress while opening the door.

“(Y/n)—”

“I’ll text you. Promise.”

And the door shuts behind you.

-

Your relationship with Akaashi Keiji is…hard to explain. In fact, you’re not even sure what to refer him as in your life. Anytime you spoke of him or attempted to explain, you’d fumble over words and draw blanks. While it was irritating and aggravating at times, you learned to just accept it.

Akaashi Keiji was the neighbor down the street, two years older, and someone who had known you since you were 8. Your moms were attached at the hip not longer after you moved to Tokyo, and that meant holidays were spent together, impromptu get-togethers and dinners were a common occurrence, and you saw him frequently at school. He was a quiet soul, gentle, but reserved. In fact, most of the things you knew about him were secondhand conversations from your mother talking about the family, because honestly his mom was basically your second mom now, and your mother trusted you with everything. His past, his troubles, his personality all relayed through your mom from his own, and when you saw him in the hallways, he wasn’t much of an enigma to you. Many other girls had found the mysterious air around him to be attractive, that the pretty setter who only ever smiled around his volleyball team and kept a tight circle of friends had something significant beneath the layers.

Keiji grew up with you, playing Smash on the Wii to pass time as your parents gossiped away. Sometimes, you’d play an intense game of Monopoly with him, a game that typically tipped in his favor. He never said much about himself, always relayed more about others that overlapped in your lives. The most he ever spoke to you about was when it came to teachers at school, even giving you some of his old notes and pointers. But even you could tell that he kept his guards up, and you wondered if he even classified you as a friend.

Your go-to explanation of Keiji’s standing in your life was a family friend. But that insinuated you were close with him, which you weren’t at all. No matter how many times he walked home with you (mainly at the pushing from his mother), no matter how many times he was forced to entertain you at dinners and holidays, no matter how many times he gave you a small smile in school, there was such a large gap between the two of you. He always seemed so different around his team, like they had the privilege of knowing the real him, and at times, you felt…jealous.

And the weird thing is that you can rely on him somehow – whether it be because he’d get an earful from his parents if he didn’t help you when you asked it or out of the goodness of his heart, he was simply always there. Sometimes, you were bold enough to text him about a show he talked about in the past, and he would reply quickly as if your unexpected, rare text about something benign didn’t faze him at all.  

Yet despite the distance, despite the lack of any semblance of an actual friendship with him, he was the first one you thought of when all this happened. He was the one you wanted to see – maybe it’s because he was the closest thing to home, and you didn’t want to go back to your parents explaining everything. It’s been a while since you’ve been back in Tokyo, ever since you moved to Sapporo for your job and Testuro got matched for a residency at a hospital there.

At 7PM on a Friday afternoon, past the baggage claim with the sunset beaming in through the sliding glass doors, you stare at Keiji’s contact on your phone, thumb hovering hesitantly over the call button. You could count the number of times you’ve called him on one hand, but this was an emergency, right? Is this why your heart is pounding against your chest, so anxious that you feel like you’ll break into a cold sweat any time soon?

You jump into the deep end.

Your hand nervously brings the phone to your ear, waiting with bated breath as the dial tone echoes in the chamber of your brain. Part of you wants him to miss the call so you can avoid this awkward conversation, but another part of you desperately wants him to pick up as if he’ll be able to save you.

Oh god oh god oh god, you panic as the tone stops, there’s a pause, a rustle, and then a hesitant, “—Hello?”

You didn’t plan this out. You’re not ready for this. Shit, what are you supposed to say?

“—hello? (Y/n)?”

“Have you had dinner yet?”

Wow, you’re a terrible conversationalist.

“…um, I haven’t actually. I was about to warm up some leftovers?”

Your eyes focus on the taxis driving by, picking up passengers as they get waved down. Maybe you should just find a cheap hotel nearby, continue this conversation tomorrow.

“Well…I’m in town, actually. I just landed about 30 minutes ago and realized I didn’t have anywhere to go and I don’t really want to call anyone else and I don’t exactly know who else to call so I just, um, thought about calling you and asking if you’ve had dinner? Which if you’re busy and stuff, that’s totally fine, I should’ve texted you beforehand instead of springing this on you and—”

“(Y/n), it’s okay, alright? It’s okay. I’m not busy, so you can stop by. Did my mom ever give you my address?”

Keiji’s brief attempt to calm you down works, surprisingly. You allow yourself to take a deep breath despite the stale airport air, but it was some much-needed oxygen. This is going to be okay, Keiji doesn’t hate you quite yet.

“N-no, she never did.”

“That’s fine, I’ll text it to you. My place is about 30 minutes from the airport, I’d recommend getting a taxi instead of an Uber. I’ll order some delivery—”

“Oh, you don’t have to—”

“You still like the miso ramen from that shop not far from your house, right? They opened up a second store not far from where I live.”

How did he remember that? You’re pretty sure your own mother had forgotten that fact by now.

“Y-yeah, I do,” you smile to yourself. “I still think about it sometimes.”

“Sounds good then. Get here safely then.”

“Okay. Thank you loads again. I’m sorry for all this—”

“Don’t worry about it. Keep me updated, see you later.”

“Yeah, bye.”

Not 30 seconds later, a text arrives to your phone with an address, a keycode for getting past the main door, and other relevant instructions.

-

Keiji’s apartment is exactly as you expect it to be – prim, proper, neat almost to a fault, with minimalist decorations. The apartment complex he lives in is rather high-end, if the security guards standing outside the main entrance indicated anything. You almost feel completely out of place or like a bug on the wall as you step in after him, a rather comfortable silence between the two of you. His kitchen is spotless and almost sparkles back at you, and the only thing that seems out of place are the containers of your ramen he so kindly ordered for you.

“Your place is really nice, it’s really…you,” you comment, setting your stuff down at the door. Keiji indulges you with a quiet laugh, making sure that there wasn’t anything that would be in your way. His glasses are perched on his head, an old monochrome t-shirt on his shoulders and sweatpants hung low on his hips, yet in this apartment that almost seems like it should be in an interior design magazine, he looks at home. His ethereal beauty, the softness in his eyes, the gentle up-turned strands of his hair – he belonged here.

“The ramen came not too long ago, so it’s still hot. I’ll go ahead and put it together, you can put your jacket on the couch.”

“Oh, thank you.”

Instead, you fold your jacket over your suitcase and quietly make your way into the apartment. Straight across from you are doors to a balcony – darkness had long taken over the city, so you see nothing but your reflection at first. But as you near the plexiglass, the reflection disappears into the view and you almost gasp from the beauty of it.

Blinking lights, flashing billboards, and the brightly lit Tokyo Skytree peer back at you. It only hits you now how much you’ve missed home, and that even though Sapporo was one of the largest cities in Japan, it still wasn’t Tokyo.

“I never get tired of it,” Keiji chimes in while carrying your bowl of ramen to the dining table.

“It’s an amazing view, I can see why you’d live here,” you reply while moving away from it. The table also has two empty wine glasses, and just as you’re about to ask him why they were there, he returns with a newly opened bottle of chardonnay.

“I haven’t had a lot of time to restock the wine fridge, but I knew I was going to kick myself for not having a bottle of that dessert wine we had before you went off to college,” he said with mirth and amusement. “You remember that one?”

“Yeah,” you nearly splutter, almost flushing that once again, Keiji was remembering details about you that you didn’t even know. “Your mom wanted to throw me a graduation dinner and you made it back in time after finals. And she had a bottle of it and between the two of us, we probably drank most of it. Our parents said it was too sweet.”

He nods and sits across from you, elbows on the table as you mutter, “Itadakimasu,” and start eating. You finish your meal silently for the most part, making small talk here and there. Keiji refills both of your glasses and the two of you sip the wine demurely, and while he seems okay with the lack of an explanation, you’re struggling to find the right words.

“So what’s with the impromptu trip to Tokyo? Are you going to see your parents?”

“Should I try to lie to you?”

“It’s up to you.”

Oh, okay then.

But he looks expectant, as if he knows you wouldn’t lie to him – in fact, you’ve never lied to him before. There was never any need to, but did that just mean neither of you ever cared enough?

“Something happened with me and Testuro. I don’t want to bore you with the details, but at the end of the day…I just needed to get away, as cliché as it sounds,” you laugh brokenly. Keiji continues to carefully observe you with a stare that you can’t escape. “I don’t want to tell my parents – you know them, they’ll ask a million questions. Without thinking, I booked a ticket to Tokyo and…now I’m here.”

That was a lie. How are you supposed to tell Keiji that he was the first person you thought of in an effort to run away? You and Keiji have never gotten personal before, he made sure of that. The last thing you want to do is weird him and scare him off.

“…did he cheat on you?” Keiji asked. His voice is darker in his inquiry, deeper than you’ve ever heard before. He has his hands folded in front of his lips and his eyes harden. Testuro may be an old friend to him, but you were in his life longer.

“Nonononono,” you quickly wave off. This isn’t the time to slander your…boyfriend? Could Tetsuro still even be your boyfriend if he no longer has any feelings for you? “Nothing like that.”

“That’s good to hear. If you want, you can tell me another time then. You’re welcome to stay here until you go back to Sapporo.”

You look up at him, eyes incredulous. Could Keiji really be this comfortable with you?

“I wouldn’t mind staying tonight, but I can stay in a hotel for the rest of the week that I’m here.”

“Nonsense,” Keiji refutes, standing from the table and taking your wine glasses to the sink. You follow with your bowl and he starts washing them before you can even offer. “Mom would kill me if she knew I let you pay for a hotel when I have a perfectly functioning bed you can stay in.”

“I mean, if it’s not a bother…”

“It’s not. The futon’s pretty comfortable, I’ve definitely fallen asleep on it plenty of times.”

“We can switch, I would never let you sleep on the futon for a whole week.”

“If you say so then. But for tonight, you can take my bed. Let me grab you an extra towel so you can shower. I’m sure you’ve had a long day,” he says while drying everything off, folding the kitchen towel neatly before heading off to his room. He returns with a large, soft grey towel and you shyly take it from him with a word of thanks, but he stays there in front of you, waiting for something.

“I’m really glad you picked up the phone,” you whisper softly, feeling the effects of the alcohol. You’re entering uncharted territory for the two of you, and this could either kill or strengthen this odd distant friendship. “I meant it when I said I didn’t know who else to call. You were the first person that came to mind and just…I don’t want to make this weird, like you can kick me out,” you begin to ramble. “Don’t feel like you’re obligated to take me in because your mom would be disappointed if you wouldn’t, you’ve already put up with me for over 15 years and it’s fine, I can be on my own and—”

Smooth, calloused hands delicately hold your face, large palms and nimble fingers cupping your cheeks. Your words die on your tongue as Keiji stares straight into your eyes, holding your gaze until your breathing calms down to a steady, languid pace. “You’re my friend, (y/n). So it’s good that you called me.”

“I’m your…friend?” You ask unsteadily, feeling a sense of disbelief.

“Yeah,” he confirms with the corners of his lips turning up slightly. “We’re friends.”

“Okay.”

“Okay. Now go shower.”

“Okay.”

-

You’re fast asleep before Keiji finishes his own shower, his bedroom door left ajar as the hallway light beams through. He pauses in the midst of drying his hair with a towel, letting it bunch and hang off his neck as he cautiously pushes the door open. Keiji notices your even breathing and how much more relaxed you look in sleep. You’re curled up on your side with the blanket pulled up to your face and he can’t lie: it’s adorable and cute, and he shouldn’t really be thinking these things.

He sits on the edge of the bed in the little space that’s provided, lithe fingers reaching out to brush back a few stray wisps of your hair. Watching you sleep pulls him back into a fond memory he’s kept of the two of you, one that might’ve held very little significance to you but meant something so much more to him. He knows you know him well, he knows how much his mother babbles on about him, and adults were more prone to gossip than the rowdiest of teenagers – he’d be painfully oblivious if he didn’t think you knew that much about him, or more than the average friend.

But it’s comforting to him, sometimes. Knowing you, how kindly you think of others, he might not have to explain what he’s feeling in the moment. You would be able to know, and that soothes him to some degree.

Maybe he had a little bit too much wine as well, but ever so subtly, motions steady and unhurried, he deftly leans closer and closer until his lips brush the apple of your cheek. He lingers for no more than a few seconds and sits back up, gazing at you before standing. His hands adjust the blankets and make sure you’re properly tucked in. He pads away, shutting the door behind him as quietly as possible as to not wake you.

And when he’s found a comfortable position on the futon with his most comfortable throw blanket, he realizes, begrudgingly, that this week will fly by too fast for his liking.  

[quillyfied]

Omenstuck Act 2 Bonus Content

Hello! Here’s just some extra bonus content from the pretty weighty upd8 I posted to my fanfic Omenstuck today (for Chapter 4: Act 2 specifically). A lot of background info went into it that I’m not going to get much occasion to use, so I’m doing what any self-respecting writer would do and dumping it here instead. Obviously has huge spoilers for Omenstuck so if you haven’t read the upd8s from today, don’t look. Hope the readmore holds on mobile, and there are some images below, too. Enjoy!

So for starters, I’m going to post the little cheat sheet that I had on hand for remembering all the characters’ assigned blood colors, Trollian handles, god tier titles, and quadrants (both filled and experimented with):

In order, here’s what we’ve got:

Crowley. Blood: burgundy. UN: anthomanicCaduceus. GT: Rogue of Life. Quadrants: Aziraphale (matesprit), Eric (auspistice, unwitting) and Hastur (other leaf of auspisticism quadrant, unwitting). Lusus: snake

Eric. Blood: brown. UN: coneyCloning. GT: Heir of Time. Quadrants: Auspistice to Crowley and Hastur (unwitting); Uriel (auspistice between arguing Erics, short-lived). Lusus: rabbit

Beelzebub. Blood: yellow. UN: carrionTyrant. GT: Prince of Rage. Quadrants: Dagon (moirail), Gabriel (kismesis). Lusus: giant fly

Ligur. Blood: lime/red (vacillating glitch). UN: guanineChameleon. GT: Sylph of Space. Quadrants: Hastur (moirail), Michael (kismesis). Lusus: chameleon

Hastur. Blood: olive. UN: amphibiousGrunt. GT: Knight of Breath. Quadrants: Ligur (moirail), Eric (auspistice, unwitting) and Crowley (other leaf of auspisticism quadrant, unwitting). Lusus: frog

Dagon. Blood: jade. UN: aquaticTaskmaster. GT: Witch of Mind. Quadrants: Beelzebub (moirail), Sandalphon (matesprit, short-lived), Metatron (kismesis, one-sided crush). Lusus: lungfish

Aziraphale. Blood: teal. UN: aetherialAntiquarian. GT: Thief of Doom. Quadrants: Crowley (matesprit), Michael (auspistice, coercing) and Sandalphon (other leaf of auspisticism quadrant, coercing). Lusus: ??? (dragon, owl?)

Michael. Blood: cerulean. UN: tenebrousAgent. GT: Seer of Void. Quadrants: Uriel (moirail), Aziraphale (one leaf of auspisticism quadrant, coerced) and Sandalphon (other leaf of auspisticism quadrant, co-conspirator), Ligur (kismesis). Lusus: ??? (tbh spider would still fit here)

Sandalphon. Blood: indigo. UN: toughenedCrusader. GT: Page of Blood. Quadrants: Michael (auspistice, co-conspirator) and Aziraphale (other leaf of auspisticism quadrant, coerced), Gabriel (moirail), Dagon (matesprit, short-lived). Lusus: ??? (Possibly musclebeast)

Uriel. Blood: purple. UN: celestialAureate. GT: Maid of Heart. Quadrants: Michael (moirail), Eric (mediated between two of his arguing selves, short-lived). Lusus: ??? (sea-goat still viable)

Gabriel. Blood: violet. UN: gregariousArchangel. GT: Bard of Hope. Quadrants: Sandalphon (moirail), Beelzebub (kismesis). Lusus: ??? (seahorse or shark)

Metatron. Blood: fuchsia. UN: communicantGodhead. GT: Mage of Light. Quadrants: object of one-sided pitch crush from Dagon. Lusus: Horrorterror from Beyond (Gl’bgol’yb, probably)

Here’s the shipping chart of what this madness looked like:

Solid lines for established or longer-lasting relationships, dotted lines for either crushes or experiments that didn’t pan out. Crowley, Eric, and Hastur’s auspisticism is dotted because it’s not a consciously-thought out relationship that’s actually been defined so much as a convenient social contract that keeps Hastur from killing Crowley by distracting him with a multitude of Erics, which makes it a pretty functional auspisticism, actually.

Some notes:

- If you’re thinking that the blood colors and god tier titles don’t exactly fit, you’re right, but there’s a reason, and we’ll get to it in future chapters of Omenstuck. Maybe one day I’ll do the thing proper and give them all more accurate classpects and blood colors, but I think I did pretty well, given everything.

- This means that it was Hastur and Ligur’s jobs, as the Knight and Space players, to breed the Genesis Frog, which creates each new universe, and that tickles me to the bone.

- Ligur’s whole situation is a nod to both Good Omens and to Homestuck; for a bit I entertained making Crowley the hemo-mutant that Karkat is, but thought he fit best lower on the totem pole (on his belly he shall crawl and all that). Canonically, Karkat’s bright red human-like blood is a mutation off of an old hemospectrum caste, the limebloods, and it tickled me to think of Ligur occupying both the limebloods and the red mutation that spawned from it, as a nod to his color-changing in Good Omens and his affiliation with chameleons. Also, apparently it’s the guanine in their skin that makes chameleons change color, which is what the G in Homestuck pesterchum handles stands for (bc the chats are all supposed to represent DNA strands that make up each Genesis Frog that creates each new universe), so it came together kinda perfectly. If Ligur ever was in a pesterlog, I was going to code it so his lines would alternate colors, but it didn’t pan out that way.

- Was it overly simplistic to cast Hell as the lowbloods and Heaven as the highbloods? Yes. But there are two reasons for this, one of which I can’t say because spoilers, one of which I will freely admit, which is that I got tired and just simplified where I could because I was already putting more effort into backstory that turned out to be less relevant than I thought once I finally got the dang thing written.

- In the bowels of my Instagram there is a doodle of Gabriel with the traditional Bardic codpiece and an expression to match, but I didn’t keep it in canon. It is definitely there in spirit and more loving detail will be paid attention to it if I ever go back and do a proper Homestuck troll AU.

- There was a subplot I discarded when thinking of the quadrant entanglements that involved Dagon hooking up with both Sandalphon and Michael in a redrom way and that being one of the catalysts for the bloodbath at the end, because I adore Dagon/Michael and wanted to go there first but she was already appearing so much, and I remember reading about Dagon/Sandalphon once in a fic I wish I could remember off the top of my head and it was so bizarre I adored it. Ultimately I stuck with Dagon and Sandalphon having a redrom fling, because why not.

- Dagon was also going to have a whole Thing against Metatron that boiled down to her having vestigial seadweller traits and being jealous of an actual seadweller that didn’t do his heritage credit, but Metatron was such a non-entity that it didn’t feel relevant to bring up, with so much already getting crammed into this upd8.

- Gabriel and Eridan have some eerie synergy and that’s a hill I’ll die on.

- Uriel was supposed to have a bigger part, too, delving into how they fit into the whole purpleblood Mirthful Messiahs cult and how they use their paint to emphasize their vitiligo (inspired by their canonical pretty gold face markings), but once again...not enough room, not enough interaction with Crowley or Aziraphale. They were either going to be a huge part of it, or eschew it entirely in favor of worshipping Metatron and possibly Metatron’s eldritch lusus instead, but eh. Roads untraveled. I also didn’t doodle their facepaint while I was doing my concept sketches/brainstorming activities so I just let it be.

- The whole Michael and Sandalphon using a heavily manipulative auspisticism to blackmail and control Aziraphale was a concept I had from the beginning, but when I wrote the scene, it actually shook me up a lot; Auspisticism is one of the platonic and weirder quadrants in Homestuck, but it didn’t hit me until I had written it how that particular dynamic could be exploited and turned into something kinda borderline abusive, if not outright abusive (I’m trying to be more careful in how I apply the word so I don’t know for sure if what I wrote counts as fully abusive, or just a super bad time). To be honest, in all the Homestuck fics that ever were, I don’t think I ever read a single one that described what I did in this fic (and RAPE MENTION TW a part of me that is forever struck by my friend’s fic that described a brutal pale rape, as in forcing the usual nonsexual markers of the pale quadrant on an unwilling victim, was worried that I had written ashen rape, which was NOT where I wanted to go; after worrying about it to friends and sleeping on it, I don’t think I quite went there, but the implication that it COULD happen is going to haunt me for a while).

- I did want to get more detailed with a lot of things, like Crowley and Aziraphale’s influencing and talking with humans, and how it was affecting things like their vocabulary and how they saw the world, but it was just too much to tackle in any great detail.

- the whole thing where Crowley uses his god tier powers to steal Life energy from his fellow stranded trolls and makes plants that could potentially feed them one day? Totally unexpected. I did a LOT of refreshing myself on the classes and aspects of god tiers when I was doing the groundwork for this part of the fic, but it didn’t strike me that that was a thing Crowley could do until I was already writing it. And maybe Aziraphale should’ve been a little more horrified by it, but Crowley’s right, they ARE immortal now. Also the whole “taking Life energy and redistributing it among allies” thing probably wasn’t meant to be interpreted as “puts the other trolls in the Mood for quadrant hookups” but it was too hilarious a coincidence to ignore. Life needs things to live, as a wise internet dnd player once said, and when you’re the last of your species, you’ve gotta do what you can to propagate (even if it’s functionally impossible to restore your species, since there’s no Mother Grub to donate slurry to and no ectobiological lab to make ectobabies from. God loves a trier). Does that make all the hookups dubious consent, since weird Life magic was involved? I don’t think so, I think it just accelerated what was already present, but I’ll leave that to y’all to judge.

- Crowley was actually supposed to be the one to die. It said so in my notes. It was a whole Thing, Crowley getting speared or shot or whatever and looking at Aziraphale like “ha I got this one better luck next time”. But then I made Aziraphale a Thief of Doom, which was originally a joke to myself about how he hoards books (Thief players are hoarders and Doom can represent rules or systems), and then he got all contemplative and hit ME back with “no, no, sister, you made me a Thief of Doom, I’m gonna steal this death meant for Crowley and keep it all to myself, and there’s nothing you can do about it.” And he was RIGHT. I can’t believe I’ve killed Aziraphale THREE TIMES now. And I completely forgot about how god tier players are also immortal from being killed unless the death is Heroic or Just until, again Aziraphale reminded me by pushing Crowley out of the way--therefore making his death to sacrifice himself for his friend and beloved Heroic. I played myself in every possible way. Checkmate, brain. (As for what that means in future chapters, stick around, it’s only gonna get weirder, but Homestucks who are puzzled at the inclusion of Dream Shards rather than Dream Bubbles are encouraged to draw some conclusions of their own.)

I think that’s all I wanted to talk about, so have a doodle of Michael with her Seer hood drawn for funsies.

See y’all later! Feel free to send me an ask or a comment or whatever if you have any questions or just wanna talk about this madness I’m creating!

[purpleyellow]

Quick Visit

NCT 22nd member / Dream 8th member

Bee’s Masterlist

“Mark drops by to visit after spending time away with SuperM”

a/n:  Sorry for not adding Haechan to this, I decided to let him take a break since SM isn’t giving him one. Don’t be shy and interact a little, ask box is always open. Any kind of feedback will be very appreciated💛

Renjun and Bee were sitting on the floor while peacefully painting on the cafe table. Well, Renjun was painting on a little canvas he had bought while the girl was indeed making little doodles on the wood of the table.

“You know this apartment is rented right?” Renjun raised an eyebrow at her as she made little roses with a paintbrush.

“I spoke with our manager and he said it was fine since Taeyong Oppa does pretty much the same in his room. Plus, we both know SM pays the landlord so well, he has no intention of ending the contract” Bee said recalling the talk she had with her manager the first time he saw her painting on the table.

“I swear you’re going to turn this place in a garden someday” Renjun did have a point, considering that the girl enjoyed painting flowers over anything, it was an understatement saying that the mostly white furniture was by now filled with roses, sunflowers, and tulips. 

She did paint other stuff sometimes, mainly random doodles of Disney characters or inside jokes, she manages to turn into pictures. Since no one complained Bee kept “decorating” the inside of the Dream’s apartment. The boys even think it was nice for some part, made the apartment less cold and more fun, as long as she stayed out of their rooms, she could do whatever she wanted with the furniture.

As she finished the small rose, Bee leaned back on her arms and checked the table from a more open sight to see how it was turning out. Realizing there was too much pink and yellow, she leaned in again and started to work on the grass, something she did in order for the boys to stop complaining she was making things too girly.

As she mixed different shades of green, somebody pressed the bell, making Renjun flinch and go over the line on his painting. Groaning he sat up and went over to the door to open it. Taking the little canvas on her hands, Bee took a napkin and started to wipe the boys mistake away, only leaving a little stain she was sure a coat of white paint would cover.

"Mark Lee!" Renjun exclaimed from the door making the girl's head shot up. The dreamies haven't seen Mark in a long time, due to the time he has spent in the US with SuperM.

With the commotion on the living room, one by one, Jeno, Jaemin, Chenle, and Jisung came to see what was going on and greeted the boy with bro hugs and pats on the back.

"Marko Leeno." "How did you make time to visit us mortals?" "Did you miss us too much?" 

The boys surrounded him as they asked away, trying to make up for the long time they hadn’t seen each other.

Looking from the group, Mark noticed the girl still sitting on the floor while staring at them with wide eyes, mostly because moments ago she was sure he wasn’t in the same country as them. Remembering that Bee was a bit shyer than the others Mark decided to approach her instead of waiting for her to come back to reality.

"Hey you" he said with a big smile walking closer and she hastily got up, being engulfed in a bear hug by him "I missed you too" Mark spoke, patting her a few times in the back and letting her go.

From her side vision, Bee saw Renjun raising an eyebrow as she slightly blushed from the unexpected contact. Mark walked back to the boys and they all sat on the dining table, one of the few pieces of furniture that was still white.

Renjun and Bee went over to the kitchen to grab some snacks for the team to eat while talking. "I wasn't too weird, was I?" she asked while grabbing some chips "It's just that we haven't seen him in a while. I didn't even know he was in Seoul."

"It's just Mark, there's no reason to be so uptight" Renjun tried to calm her down "You were fine, just remember that he's that loser who came from Canada" As they walked back, she settled her bags on the table and sat next to Chenle, slightly repeating on her mind "It's just Mark".

"You've seen Haechan at the 127 dorms right?" Jeno asked grabbing a can of soda and opening it.

"Yeah, yeah. Taeyong wanted to come by as well, but he was too tired from the flight and decided to sleep before" Mark grabbed a chip and popped into his mouth "But I couldn't leave my dreamies waiting"

"Awwwwwn. Where's our presents then?" Chenle deadpanned and got softly slapped by the girl.

Mark giggled at their antics and answered "We bought some American candy for the dorms, I have yours in the bag I left by the door " as soon those words left his mouth, Jisung sprinted towards the entrance and came back with a bag Bee didn’t even know was there.

Dumping the candy on the table, Mark laughed as the others dug through the different packages, they didn’t pay much attention to the ones who were sold in Korea, rather entertained by the ones they hadn’t seen before. Not wanting to engage in a fight like Chenle and Renjun were, Bee grabbed some snickers and a few m&ms, she wasn’t going to pass on free candy just because she had already tried them. 

Putting his own hand in the pile, Mark took out a bar of Three Musketeers and passed to her “You’re probably going to like this one too, I had it with Ten Hyung and it’s pretty good” 

“Oh, thanks” she smiled shyly and Mark grinned at her cuteness, turning back towards the boys fighting. 

“I’m older than you, obey me and give it to me” Renjun pulled at a red package and Chenle pulled it back

“But Mark Hyung likes me more, just give it up” and with a last pull, the red package burst, and a bunch of colorful pieces fell on the table. Looking dumbfounded at each other, the two bickering boys didn’t notice Jeno picking up a little bag identical to the one that had been ripped open and adding it to his own pile of sweets.

[slstmaraudersjple]

Belated Fic Rec Event post!

Soooo... some of you may know that I was unfortunately not able to post my fic recs for the KC Fic Rec Event hosted by @klaroline-events due to my laptop dying and me needing to order a replacement battery/charging cord. So here are the fic recs for days 2-6! Lots of good fics ;)

Klaroline Fic Rec Event 2020 - Day 2 Sep 1st: All Human!AU Title: Colored You In (Links: FFN | AO3) Author: @lalainajanes (Links: FFN | AO3) Summary: AH-AU. Rebekah asks a favor that turns out to be kind of life changing (life ruining?) for Caroline. Living with a temporarily broke Kol is one thing. A really, really annoying thing. And then Klaus is suddenly always around, planted on her couch, drinking her wine and adding snarky commentary which Caroline DOES NOT appreciate. Mikaelson's and boundaries apparently did not mix. Warnings: none Status: Complete

Why you should read it: This has everything I love in a Klaroline fic: Caroline friendship with Rebekah and Enzo, Caroline/Kol bonding, Mikaelson sibling drama... and of course, Klaus secretly being trash for Caroline. It’s hilariously entertaining, especially when Caroline suspects SOMETHING is up and Kol keeps teasing her about it because he KNOWS, and Rebekah DOESN’T know what’s happening until she does, and the Mikaelson sibling dynamic is so entertaining and YOU WLL LOVE IT. I mean, in the first chapter, Rebekah bribes Caroline into letting Kol stay with her. That alone should set the tone for the entir story for you. Seriously, just read it already!

A favorite scene:

The box said 'Louboutin' so Caroline was on guard. When Rebekah had called yesterday and asked Caroline to meet her for drinks Caroline had agreed immediately. Work was hectic, she had fundraiser to oversee tomorrow, so a martini (or three) to wind down sounded like a good idea.

Beware of Greeks bearing gifts, or so the saying went.

"Do you need a kidney, or something? Because I love you, Bex. But I love gin too."

Klaroline Fic Rec Event 2020 - Day 3 Sep 2nd: Angst Title: all you need to grow inside my spine (Links: FFN | AO3) Author: @highgaarden (Links: FFN | AO3) Summary: Klaus watches, satisfied, and in that moment she realizes something terrible: that she is grateful for the blood in her mouth. The sooner they break this bond the better. / or, Klaus and Caroline try to bargain their way out of their soulmate bond, but discover that dealing with magic isn't quite as easy or liberating as snapping a neck. ONESHOT. Warnings: none Status: Complete

Why you should read it: You should read this for the writing alone. The lines just TUG at your very soul and if you didn’t know words could hurt, this does it. This story is a variation on the soulmates AU where Klaus and Caroline are NOT delighted by what they learn, and so they agree to try to break this bond. What I like about this is that it’s a story where, while Klaus may be intrigued by Caroline, he still chooses power over his soulmate. Or does he? 

A favorite scene: 

“I tried, so hard, to be good.” Caroline closes her eyes to the blood dripping down her forehead. “So freakin’ hard. I was on the bunny diet. I thought if I ever showed you who I was, my soulmate would run for the hills.”

 “Aren’t you glad then that it’s me?”

Klaroline Fic Rec Event 2020 - Day 4 Sep 3rd: Fluff Title: The Sound of Settling (Link: AO3) Author: @galvanizedfriend / Yokan (Link: AO3) Summary: Klaus hates his job at Mikaelson & Sons. He hates wearing a suit. He also hates his brothers constantly butting into his life. Everything will be better once he gets his much desired transfer to the New York branch. Caroline Forbes is the owner of Mystic Café, and when Klaus accidentally wanders into her coffee shop, his whole perspective changes. [AH/Coffee Shop!AU where Klaus is a lawyer. Lots of Mikaelsons and some Carenzo friendship.] Warnings: none Status: Complete

Why you should read it: I love this story so much! It’s a variation of the coffee shop meet cute, and I love how @galvanizedfriend​ can take a simple setting like a coffee shop and making something beautiful out of it!!! All Klaus wants in life is to get away from his family, so he works himself to the bone in hopes of getting a transfer. One day he comes across Caroline’s coffee shop as he’s looking for his next coffee fix, but discovers reasons to keep coming back... and the best part about all this? This beautifully written story reminds us that sometimes, what we think we want is not what we truly want.

A favorite scene:

"Well, you haven't run for the hills. I think you turned out pretty ok, if you ask me." Caroline pushes up her seat and winks at him. "Duty calls."

Klaus is left in a state of absolute disbelief as she walks back to the counter. Thirty-two years of age and this might be the first time anyone claims he's turned out ok. His ex-girlfriend with a degree to validate her opinion would probably have some points to make.

He doesn't know if Caroline is completely crazy or if she genuinely sees something no other person ever did. Klaus is almost afraid of believing the latter.

Klaroline Fic Rec Event 2020 - Day 5 Sep 4th: Smut Title: Battle Lines (Links: FFN | AO3) Author: Jinxed-Wood (Links: FFN | AO3) Summary: Battle Lines [Dark Season 2 AU ] The little cheerleader had seemed the perfect candidate for Klaus's purposes, an outlier of the herd if you will, but as he tried to bend her to his will, it quickly became apparent she was not the pushover she had first appeared to be... Warnings: character deaths, dubious(?) consent, mentions of sexual assault and trauma Status: Incomplete

Why you should read it: This is a dark season 2 AU where morality is very, very gray. Klaus decides to use Caroline to spy on her friends. Caroline, on the other hand, is used to being underestimated, and she takes advantage of it to ensure her survival. In an interesting turn of events, Klaus’ actions result in Caroline getting what she deserves, which is better. However, since this fic is incomplete, I have no idea how it’s going to end! Also, tons and tons of smutty goodness!

A favorite scene: 

He collapsed on top of her and waited for their thrum of their hearts to ease, stroking her hair absently as his mind turned over the future. Truth be told, Caroline's usefulness as a spy had been somewhat eroded as a result of his earlier than planned return to Mystic Falls, but he found her...diverting, and that was not a phrase he used for a lot of people. Perhaps he could convince her to make a more permanent arrangement?

But that meant he would have to to seduce her into his life as well as his bed, and what did he have to offer that Caroline Forbes would want?

Klaroline Fic Rec Event 2020 - Day 6 Sep 5th: Supernatural!AU (undine!Caroline and Originals!Mikaelsons) Title: Drown Me in Ash, Burn Me in Salt (links: FFN | AO3) Author: @cupcakemolotov (links: FFN | AO3) Summary: Cursed with legs by a witch as the gods were unmade, Caroline is a relic of ancient times. Bored and lonely, her interest is peaked by the newest predators in the world - vampires. And in particular, Klaus Mikaelson, with his monsters teeth and the wolf caged in his blood. Warnings: some blood and gore, nothing explicit Status: Complete

Why you should read it: If you’re looking for powerful Caroline and the Mikaelsons, this is it! This is a rather lengthy 14k-word one-shot, and one that I find myself turning to time and time again. @cupcakemolotov does an incredible job building worlds upon worlds, and this is no exception. I love that in this world, Caroline is older than the Mikaelsons (but not an Original), an ancient creature who finds amusement in this dysfunctional family and keeps them around because she can. I love her interactions with the Mikaelson siblings, of the way she seamlessly moves through the world on her own terms and no one else’s.

A favorite scene:  

“So, you’re more of a siren?” Klaus asked thoughtfully, head tilting as he faced her with no fear.

Caroline sighed and disentangled herself from the chains and corpse. “What is it with humans and naming things?”

“Power,” Klaus murmured as she reached for his locks. “Dominion does not come easily, against the unnamed night terrors. Why are you helping us?”

“I’m bored,” Caroline told him, switching to Rebekah’s chains. “Your little vampire creations are amusing, even if you taste like the grave.”

  Klaroline Fic Rec Event 2020 - Day 7 Sep 6th: Free for all! Title: A Pregnant Pause (Links: FFN | AO3) Author: @supremeuppityone (Links: FFN | AO3) Summary: Klaroline supernatural AU multi-chap. Pregnant and alone, Caroline meets a woman named Rebekah, and an unexpected friendship is formed. But then, her ridiculously attractive asshat of a brother starts inserting himself into their lives, causing all kinds of trouble. Despite being distracted by those dimples, she notices something seems a bit off about the Mikaelsons... Warnings: discussions on abortion Status: Incomplete

Why you should read it: It should go without saying that this is one of my FAVORITE Klaroline fics of all time. This features a clueless and pregnant human Caroline who finds herself entangled with the MIkaelson family. I absolutely adore the Caroline/Rebekah friendship that forms, the way Caroline wins over each of the Mikaelson siblings, and the way they find themselves drawn to her in turn. This story makes me laugh and cry, and I appreciate @supremeuppityone’s writing SO MUCH.

A favorite scene:

Clearing her throat, she told Rebekah, “You’ll figure it out. And I’ll help.”

She favored Caroline with a weak smile. “I thought I was supposed to be helping you.”

“So, we’ll help each other then.” Caroline laid back against one of the fluffy pillows on the chaise, a forearm over her eyes as she let out a soft groan.

So here we go! One epic belated post!

[neriad13]

Favorite Media of 2020!

There was a large swathe of this year during which I was unable to concentrate on reading (as there probably was for a lot of other typically-frequent readers), so, as a result, I ended up listening to way more podcasts and watching way more TV shows. Not a bad thing, but boy did I read way less books than usual. 

However, for the first time in a while, the amount of fiction I read was about equal with the amount of nonfiction I read. Last year’s reading resolution was to read more fiction, so...success??

I did read a lot of phenomenal fiction when I had the energy to do so this year.

Books - Fiction

The Martian - Andy Weir

This book is the hardest of the hard sci fi I think I’ve ever read. Every single aspect of it is minutely researched and calculated. The author literally wrote equations to write this book. The science is insanely impressive and yet...it never loses its sense of humor or humanity in the mix. In fact, they’re the thing that drives the entire story.

Warlock Holmes - G. S. Denning

Way early in the year I was strolling down the fantasy aisle at the library, when this cover caught my eye. I took one look at it, went “oh, this looks silly” and...proceeded to devour the entire series in a matter of weeks. 

It is very silly. Especially when it’s pointing out something that was silly in the original. There’s something so satisfying about Watson immediately answering Holmes with the correct number of steps in their flat when he’s trying to make his point about how most people don’t pay attention to things like that.

World War Z - Max Brooks

Every single scenario in here could easily support an entire book. A park ranger whose job it is to contain the yearly zombie spring thaw? HECK YES. I’d read tens of thousands of words about that. A Chinese admiral who defaults, steals the government’s premier submarine, loads it up with the families of his underlings and takes to the sea for years to live in the maritime economy that has sprung up in a world where everyone is trying to escape the shore? That could be an entire movie on its own. 

Every chapter was more creative than the last and as a huge worldbuilding fan, this book was so, so fun.

An Unkindness of Ghosts - Rivers Solomon

In which a queer, neurodivergent protagonist solves a mystery on a spaceship which is a microcosm of antebellum era politics! This had a beautiful, mysterious, wonder-inducing writing style and it was a joy to peer into the wildly differing minds of every single character.

Books - Nonfiction

Underland - Robert MacFarlane

In every chapter, the author visits a different hole. Basically.

It’s an exploration of caves, catacombs, mines, nuclear waste facilities and the hidden underbelly of every forest. It was fascinating. And fundamentally changed how I look at time.

Rejected Princesses - Jason Porath

After years of having enjoyed the web entries, I finally got my hands on the first book and was not disappointed. 

There are the more entertaining entries, of course and the art is as charming as always, but what struck me the most were the more difficult stories. The deeper you go into this book, the more horrific it gets. The author does not hold back on the indignities suffered by the historical figures he writes about. It’s terrible...but also very, very illuminating.

The Gift of Fear - Gavin De Becker

This book - while maintaining all the essential information in it - could be pared down to one sentence in a sea of blank pages and that sentence would be: trust your instincts. End of story.

But in a world where instincts are either customarily suppressed or going haywire, it’s not quite that easy, which is why I’m glad there is more to the book.

I picked it up thinking “ha ha, betcha can’t help a person with anxiety who fears all the time already” and...what it actually ended up doing was giving me the tools to differentiate between real fear and unfounded fear. And did help with the anxiety quite a bit.

Fanfiction

Watch Over Me - cakeisatruth

A Bioshock fic from the point of view of a little sister who is learning how to trust and be an ordinary child again. Dark and sweet. An excellent combo.

All That is Visible - Ultima_Thule

An exploration of a minor character in a well researched historical context? That’s my jam! How did they know?? A Tron fic about what it’s like to be a female programmer in the 70s.

Graphic Novels

The Adventure Zone - McElroys + Carey Pietsch

Yesssssssss! It was a running-to-the-library type event whenever my library got a new volume in. The jokes are so good, the art is so lively and the ways in which they added the details that the podcast couldn’t necessarily get across is *mwah*

Trail of Blood - Shuuzou Oshimi

Hoooooooly shit, the art style of this one!! It’s beautifully detailed and expressive, sure, but the real draw for me was how it changes with the emotional state of the main character. There’s this sequence in which he’s consumed with anxiety at school and all of his classmates become blurry and unfocused, until they can’t be recognized as humans at all, that particularly sticks with me.

It’s a horror story about a kid who witnesses his loving mother push his cousin off a cliff for seemingly no reason and is then obligated by her to keep the secret, which is eating him from the inside out. It’s so good, guys, please read it.

Level Up - Gene Lien Yang/Thien Pham

A story about a kid who is haunted by his late father’s desire for him to become a gastroenterologist. It’s funny and touching and the ending gave me what I can only describe as a feeling of exhilaration. Y’know that feeling when something unexpected but not out of left field, perfectly in tune with the narrative arc and gut bustingly funny happens, all in the same panel? That one.

Film

Searching

This is a fairly standard thriller about a dad trying to find out what happened to his missing daughter. It’s also found footage...but not in the usual way, which was what made it so compelling to me. It’s told through the dad’s phone calls, google searches, social media interactions, news footage, security cameras and webcams. It was such a cool way to tell a story.

Train to Busan

There’s a lot that’s already been said about this movie and I don’t think there’s much more I can meaningfully add to that. Suffice to say that ya gotta take care of each other if you’re going to survive a zombie apocalypse!!

TV Series

My Brother’s Husband

As close to a perfect adaptation as a person can get (barring the entire conversation in English which was...oof). I was so happy when they took it a step further and showed Kana and Yaichi actually getting to meet Mike’s family.

Zumbo’s Just Desserts

I watched a lot of baking shows this year. Like...a lot. They were my much-needed comfort viewing for the year and this one was my favorite, even over The Great British Baking Show (which I LOVE). Why? Because the pastry chef for whom it’s named makes such bizarre and wonderful desserts and fosters an environment in which the competitors do the same. I’ve never seen anything like a lot of the desserts that make an appearance on this show. Every single episode was an awesome surprise and so help me, this show had better get a third season.

She-ra and the Princesses of Power

There’s also a lot that’s been said about this one, so I won’t say much more. Suffice to say: DAMN. That’s how you do an 80s toy tie-in cartoon remake.

Infinity Train

This show’s premise is probably the most unique I’ve seen in recent years. Its balance of comedy, horror and existential dread is also *mwah* I also love how much it trusts the viewer to figure things out on their own.

Primal

A late entry sliding in before the year ends! I finally got to watch the second half of the first season last weekend and it was EXCELLENT. The pacing, the brutal fight scenes, the adorable dinosaur antics, the animation, the quiet moments - *mwah-mwah-mwah-mwah-mwah*

The most emotional moment for me was the part in which the protagonists watch, with sorrow, as the rabid dinosaur who’s been trying to kill them all night dies an excruciating death.

Also it sets up a fascinating new plotline right before ending in a cliffhanger!! Another one for the ‘had better get a next season’ list.

Games

Night in the Woods

This is one that’s been on my to play list for a few years and I was so glad I finally got my hands on it. It’s like...The Millennial Experience (TM), the game. I felt so seen, playing it. The character writing was fantastic.

Prey

I don’t know why I put off finishing this for so long. I guess I wasn’t in the right alien killing headspace for a while?? Anyway, the setting is gorgeous, the alien biology is weird and cool, the ethics are delightfully murky and the interconnectedness of the station was really cool, especially in the OH SHIT moments at the end. 

Podcasts

The Adventure Zone

I tried to narrow this down to one favorite arc, but found that I couldn’t do it. I love Balance for its comedy and creative energy. I love Amnesty for its drama and acting. I am loving Graduation for the depth of its world and the way in which the real story behind everything that’s happened is slowly unfurling. It’s a good podcast all around.  

The Magnus Archives

Who obsessively listened to every single season while playing Minecraft in about a month? Surely not me, nooooo. Of course not.

There’s also been a lot said on this one, so I’ll keep it brief. I’ve seen things in here that I haven’t really seen elsewhere in horror. My particular favorites were the creepy psychiatric hospital in which the horror comes not from the patients, but from the denial of the doctor to believe them about their mental illnesses and every single thing related to the Anthropocene. The one with the Amazonian village made out of trash - CHILLS.

[holyhikari]

FEB. 14 Favorite ship/OTP

In which I out myself as a chaotic multi-shipper and annoy half of this fandom by tagging them because everyone makes such great posts. If I mentioned your @ and you want me to remove it, please tell me so I can do it right away!

I’m insufferable when it comes to exploring all kinds of characters' interactions, and I don’t take ‘being a shipper’ very seriously. (But I do have my favorites). At this point, I’m past apologizing for not picking only one.

Under the cut, because this is a LONG post. 

♥️ I shipped Hikari and Takeru before I knew what shipping was, and that’s just how life be sometimes. The reason I started learning English outside of regular classes in school was so I could read fanfic of them as a tween. As of now, I’m more interested in them as 'strongly connected to each other and let’s have a good time figuring out the nature of that connection.’ I think they have a lot of potential as a couple. When they were kids, I think their bond was more inclined to sibling-like, especially when they were glued to Taichi and Yamato. Then, around 02 era, it changed a little, and I think Takeru fell for her (firstly in an ANNOYING, ‘protector’ kinda way, like he’s still protecting her because Taichi asked him to, zzzzzz, and then in a more genuine way), but she still saw him as her childhood best friend like-a-brother-to-me-he’s-kinda-cute-though-but-we-don’t-have-time-to-unpack-all-that-there’s-a-lot-of-shit-going-down.  AND THEN, there’s Tri., and I love their dynamic. They’re flirty buddies, they’re intimate, they tease each other and love each other, and I think Hikari is finally realizing that her feelings aren’t just friendly anymore — they haven’t been for a while now. I headcanon that the more she becomes emotionally independent of Taichi, the more she realizes that what she has with Takeru is different. They would start off as BEST-friends-with-benefits when they’re in college, like 19-21yo, for a little while because they’re hesitating to change their dynamic, and then they just say fuck it, we’re in love, let’s see where this take us. Yey! They’re THE power couple. I’ll die as Takari trash, I suppose. I’m good with that.

♥️ I REALLY LIKE MIYAKARI, THEY’RE FJFFJfucking great together. I think they balance each other very well, much better than Takeru and Hikari, and, like Takari, it’s both a romantic ship and a brotp for me. Miyako brought out a side of Hikari we had never really seen before, and it’s the first time she has a horizontal relationship with another girl. (I don’t think she’s particularly close to Mimi, and she’s definitely Sora’s little sister at heart.) It might sound weird, but I’m glad the writers allowed someone to be annoyed at Hikari. It makes the whole thing a lot more human, more believable. Most people care for her in a mostly protector sort of way and then Miyako STRAIGHT-UP SLAPS HER (don’t do this in your irl relationships kiddos) and tells her she’s always gonna be there for her, not because Hikari is weak or fragile or whatever, but because they’re equals, they help each other not to get lost in themselves, they make each other stronger and wiser. Miyako is a very anxious character and Hikari grounds her. Hikari is ALSO a very anxious character and Miyako helps her let it out. Fuck yes. 

♥️ S!O!R!A!T!O! 

Do yourself a favor and go to https://jippy-kandi.tumblr.com/sorato. While you’re at it, visit @fuckyeahsorato​, read @gossipchii​‘s kizunacountdown post about Sorato, which has a link to ANOTHER sorato post by @adventure-hearts​ and have the time of your life. Have fun! I don’t make the rules. You just have fun.

(source: @jippy-kandi​)

♥️ TAITO, YAMACHI, TAIMATT, call it whatever you want, I call it my heart and soul. Digimon Adventure was a Taito soap opera disguised as a toy-selling anime. And Tri. And Bokura no War Game. And Kizuna, for the trailer alone. They’re amazing but Omegamon can rest. Please. 

♥️ I also ship Taiora, tough a bit less. To be honest, Taiorato solves 99% of my life’s problems, and I LOVE it. The potential is unlimited.  

(source)

♥️ Jyomatora, also known as “Takeru’s parents” is another powerful OT3. Don’t boo me, I’m right. 

♥️ DAIKEN!!!!!!! I could go on a rant about them, but @ladyanatui​ already did, better than I ever could. Look at this post that’s basically a Daiken reference guide and Bible.

♥️ Jyoumi makes me so, so happy. The bit in Adventure when they stay together, parted from the others...........dude..........good shit. They respect each other very much by then, and they’re very, very caring, in their own ways. Mimi’s speech in Adventure of how she refuses to engage in the war she was destined to and wants to find her own way to fight and Jyou immediately volunteering to stay behind with her is one of my favorite moments. The kid wants to be a doctor, he doesn’t want to hurt anyone. Mimi inspires him to actively choose a more peaceful option instead of just being in the middle of Yamato and Taichi’s drama, Jyou inspires her to be more level-headed without losing her spark, and together they’re one of the sweetest yet kind-of-unexpected duos I’ve ever seen. They’re good friends in Tri., which is a bit sad but also works for me just fine.  

♥️ This gif says it all:

♥️ So does this blessed, revolutionary pic:

♥️ Taishiro is mostly a brotp for me, but also yay. Supportive boyfriends. They stole medicine from an abandoned fake Hospital together in one of the most emotional episodes of the series. Good content.

♥️ Kenkari is mostly a brotp for me, but also yay part 2. They obliterate the Dark Ocean’s ruler together while having the same haircut (I’m ignoring Kizuna!Ken’s hair length). Name a cuter date, I dare you.

♥️ I like Daikeru and Kenkeru basically the same amount. I love the idea of Takeru and Daisuke getting to know each other better, the idea of Daisuke losing his shit because he’s falling for his ‘rival’ and Takeru and Ken being that infuriatingly attractive couple who actually has a very deep relationship that started off as bonding over similar traumas. 

♥️ Meikari, anyone? I always hoped that, if we got something like Tri., a character that represented ‘Darkness’ would get introduced and they’d have an interesting dynamic with Hikari, because Darkness is just as important to the Universe as Light, and it would be interesting to see these two disagreeing, agreeing, being repulsed by the other and then drawn together, a ‘twilight’ sort of situation. That...didn’t happen in Tri., but the heart wants what it wants. I totally recognize it’s a fanon thing and ooc Meiko, though. I wish they had had more meaningful/complementary interactions. Their partners almost killed everyone, where’s their closure?! 

♥️ Koumi is adorable. So is Kenyako, and I can’t wait for them to interact in Kizuna!

I hope this post entertained you and that reminded you of Digimon’s amazing range of interesting pairings! 

[scifigeneration]

'The Big Bang Theory' finale: Sheldon and Amy's fictional physics parallels real science

by Adilson Motter

The cast made it through 279 episodes. CBS

After 12 successful seasons, “The Big Bang Theory” has finally come to a fulfilling end, concluding its reign as the longest running multicamera sitcom on TV.

If you’re one of the few who haven’t seen the show, this CBS series centers around a group of young scientists defined by essentially every possible stereotype about nerds and geeks. The main character, Sheldon (Jim Parsons), is a theoretical physicist. He is exceptionally intelligent, but also socially unconventional, egocentric, envious and ultra-competitive. His best friend, Leonard (Johnny Galecki), is an experimental physicist who, although more balanced, also shows more fluency with quantum physics than with ordinary social situations.

Their steadfast friends are an aerospace engineer and an astrophysicist. The story revolves around the contrast between their intellect; obsession with comic books, video games, science fiction and fantasy; and struggles with the basics of human interactions, including those with their female counterparts.

Physicist David Saltzberg makes sure the show’s science hits the target. Warner Bros. Studios

Science, especially physics, is a recurring theme in the show and the scientific authenticity and contemporaneity are noteworthy. Part of the credit for that goes to David Saltzberg, a professor of physics and astronomy at UCLA who served as a technical adviser for the series.

Even though it is not intended to educate, “The Big Bang Theory” frequently refers to real science. Many science communicators and distinguished scientists have made guest appearances, from Bill Nye to Stephen Hawking. But perhaps nothing is more recurrent in the show than the use of the “scientist” trope as the punchline of joke after joke.

So how would a physicist like me get interested in this show? Not only is it the most popular sitcom on American television, but it’s also a pop culture bridge to science. While it is not the first time science has been represented in mainstream media, “The Big Bang Theory” is currently its most visible representation. In addition, it just happens that the fictional research in the show makes contact with my own real research.

A science-y setting on a popular show

I was first exposed to “The Big Bang Theory” through interactions with people from outside academia, who would often refer to it as soon as they pegged me as a physicist. Reports that their teenage kids loved the show were common.

But what really got my attention was a Guardian article in 2011 that suggested, albeit anecdotally, that the show was helping increase the enrollment of physics majors. Why? Possibly by bringing the attention of a broad audience to the subject or by making physics look cool. Now that I am familiar with the show, I believe “The Big Bang Theory” is to physics what “CSI” was to forensics. It has brought physics, and especially the people doing physics, to a young audience of prospective science students.

As a physics professor and educator, I have a vested interest in attracting and nurturing talents in physics – and even in 2019, television can influence choices people make. While only good physics teaching and mentoring can convert interested students into talented scientists, a TV show like “The Big Bang Theory” can be what gets them into the classroom in the first place.

The show’s somewhat stereotypical image of physicists also has weaknesses, of which the most significant are the use of misogyny as a point of humor and a lack of diversity in the main cast. The perpetuation of stereotypes can reinforce the perception that certain groups don’t belong in physics. An entertainment show is not obligated to mirror real life, but this is a sensitive issue because physics still suffers from a lack of diversity and the dropout rates are high among certain underrepresented groups.

The show underwrites scholarships at UCLA for STEM students, including Kemeka Corry, on set here with actress Mayim Bialik, who herself holds a Ph.D. in neuroscience. Mike Yarish/©2019 Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc.

Notwithstanding, as the show developed, leading female characters took the stage: an attractive, down-to-earth neighbor, a successful microbiologist, and finally, there was the intelligent, accomplished Amy (Mayim Bialik), a neurobiologist selected through an online dating site as Sheldon’s perfect match. They married in the finale of the 11th season.

The same episode also marks one of the most celebrated moments of the series: Sheldon and Amy’s serendipitous discovery that put them on track for a Nobel Prize in Physics.

A fictional theory worthy of a Nobel

It all starts with groom Sheldon’s difficulty straightening out his bow tie. Amy tells him “I don’t think it is supposed to be even. Sometimes a little asymmetry looks good. In the Renaissance, they called it ‘sprezzatura.‘”

When later he explains to his mom why he’s leaving it a bit off kilter, she says, “Sometimes it’s the imperfect stuff that makes things perfect.” It’s one of the best lines of the entire show, and the one that gave Sheldon the final clue to their scientific breakthrough.

Sheldon: My equations have been trying to describe an imperfect world, and the only way to do that is to introduce imperfection into the underlying theory.

Amy: So, instead of supersymmetry, it would be super asymmetry?!

Sheldon: Super asymmetry! That’s it!!

When the light bulb turns on, Sheldon scribbles out equations in lipstick on a mirror. CBS

The entire last season gravitates around the merits of “super asymmetry” and the threats of a competing group getting credit for it. In reality, no theory with this name exists, but the name was clearly inspired by supersymmetry, which does.

Supersymmetry concerns subatomic particles from which everything else is made. It proposes that every subatomic particle in the current standard model of particle physics has a so-called supersymmetric partner – essentially extra particles that exist in tandem with the already identified ones. This means that the underlying equations would remain unchanged under certain transformations, which has deep predictive implications. Supersymmetry has not yet been proved experimentally.

Now, how plausible is Amy and Sheldon’s super asymmetry as a physical theory? Depending on how you interpret what’s described in the show, it is either not sound or somewhat trivial in the subatomic world. However, it is highly nontrivial for collective behavior, which just happens to be my topic of research.

The real physics of asymmetry

I am an interdisciplinary physicist studying collective behavior in natural and engineered systems. Think of heart cells beating together, a power grid operating as a single system, shoals of fish schooling together, genes in a cell coordinating their activities and so on.

For a number of years, I’ve been working to understand why such systems can exhibit what we call behavioral symmetry – or homogeneity – even though the systems themselves are not symmetric – or homogeneous – at all. For example, your circadian clock can be well synchronized with the 24-hour cycle despite the fact that the individual neurons in the circadian system are quite different from each other. They exhibit the same period only when interacting with each other.

And here is how my research relates to Amy and Sheldon’s hypothetical theory. It’s generally assumed that individual entities are more likely to exhibit the same behavior if they are equal or similar to each other. Imagine lasers pulsing together, birds singing the same notes, and agents trying to reach consensus. My research shows that this assumption is in fact generally false when the entities interact with each other. Being equal doesn’t mean they’ll sync up. Since individual differences are ubiquitous and often unavoidable in real systems, such asymmetry (or imperfection) can be the unexpected source of behavioral symmetry.

There are instances in which the observed behavior of the system can be symmetric only when the system itself is not. My collaborator and I called this effect asymmetry-induced symmetry, but could have referred to it as a form of super asymmetry since it epitomizes the notion that imperfections make things perfect. Asymmetry-induced symmetry exposes scenarios in physical and biophysical systems in which we observe consensus because of – not despite – differences, thus adding a new dimension to the advantage of diversity.

“The Big Bang Theory” ends, but the message from the most gifted couple on television remains: We do live in a “perfectly imperfect universe.”

About The Author:

Adilson Motter is Professor of Physics and Astronomy at Northwestern University

This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. 

[zukadiary]

Beside the Foggy Elbe / Estrellas ~ Star Troupe 2019

First show of 2019! My home base in Japan is usually Kansai, but for the first time I’m in Tokyo for a lengthy stay. I saw Elbe/Estrellas twice in the theater plus the senshuuraku live view. Spoilers, because the ending of Elbe was one of my favorite things about it.

Beside the Foggy Elbe [Summary]

I caught Elbe quite late in the run, and most of the feedback I heard from talking to other non-Japanese fans beforehand was fairly negative, but I found it VERY enjoyable. Elbe is one of the most historically famous original Takarazuka works. While I haven’t seen more than clips and photos of the older productions, I was already familiar with much of the soundtrack, and I always love seeing and hearing classic Takarazuka elements live, especially as a relatively young fan coming in late in Takarazuka’s 105 year history. It’s a special kind of fun to be able to sit in the theater and sing along (even if only in my head) to a show I’ve never even seen. The story is most definitely dated, but I love the vintage-ness of it (if anything, I wish they’d pushed the aesthetics even more vintage). And because it’s an old classic, I was able to suspend my disbelief of the unlikely love story in the same way I can with old Hollywood musicals (is it believable that Dale Tremont falls in love with Jerry Travers three seconds after finding out he wasn’t actually Horace? No but I’m here for it). I also love that they don’t get together!! The first time I saw it, I looked at the clock when Margit and Florian began yelling for Karl on the docks, and went sort of wide eyed when I realized there wasn’t TIME for it to end any way other than heartbreak. I think it’s much more interesting that way.

Quick complaints out of the way first: while the show isn’t really hard to follow, I did find both Beni and Airi quite difficult to understand. Beni uses a very loud, slurred voice to play the foul-mouthed Karl, and while it’s in keeping with her character, I couldn’t untangle a lot of her words, even though they weren’t lines I’d find complicated if I read them. Airi put on a shrill voice that I also found difficult to understand. I get that her character is an ingenue to the extreme so it makes sense, but I still feel like she could have landed somewhere between that and her natural voice and been ok. Additionally, there is a parade in the beginning that I think was an UeKumi addition. I didn’t DISLIKE it, and I understand its usefulness because it’s a very top heavy show and the parade gives the secondary players a bit of fun extra spotlight, but it didn’t really fit the look or vibe of the rest of Elbe. 

I do think you need to like Beni and Airi to enjoy this show, because it is so top heavy (if you love them, I think this will be a really great show for you). I especially liked the role of Karl for Beni. Beni’s Karl was an extremely insecure person who disguised his self-doubt in brash mannerisms and generally poor behavior, which made his moments of sincerity very poignant. Since Beni is known more for her comedic roles than her serious ones, and sometimes seems to be questioned by fans re: her ability to be serious, I thought this really suited her in kind of a meta way. She leaned hard into the brashness because that’s more her strength, but for me she also nailed Karl’s vulnerable moments, and that made them sting extra because it felt like it was coming from a real place. I’m also kind of a sucker for the cross-social-class love story trope. Karl’s behavior for the most part is truly unattractive to the point where it can be hard to sympathize with him, but there are several scenes where you can feel his deep discomfort toward being amongst the wealthy, and how traumatized he is about his ex leaving him because he wasn’t rich enough, and Beni makes them hurt sooooo good (shout out to Otoha Minori who had the very small part of Karl’s ex but really helped succinctly convey that backstory in a way that impacted the whole show).

Margit is a hard sell for me because I don’t find her likable as a character, but I think Airi did a great job hitting the necessary notes. For the story to work, Margit has to be unhappy, but also sheltered, spoiled, frivolous, and naive enough to fall in love with someone she met in a bar at first sight just because he was a little nice to her and the polar opposite of the life she’s trying to escape. Airi made it plausible. She also plays the piano for real a couple of times (angrily!) and I was VERY impressed (Coto also does, but she can’t surprise me with unexpected talents anymore). I think Airi’s strength is sexier more mature characters and I hope she gets to flex that muscle in their taidan show, because in that sense Elbe left a lot to be desired.

As much as I think Karl suited Beni, Coto is the one who made me think it wouldn’t have been quite the same if they’d given Elbe to any current lineup other than Hoshigumi. The least believable part of the entire story is that Florian is too good. There are no men who are that good. Even for the not-men of our 夢の世界 it’s a stretch. But I completely believed that Coto was that good. I don’t even know what to say about her... she can do anything and it’s stupid. Muster up heartbreaking sincerity for a truly unrealistic character? Sure. Play the piano flawlessly while speaking? Why not. (And the way she brushed her coattails out of the way before seating herself at the piano bench made me feel A Way).

The newly inserted Tobias was a nice sendoff for Kai. Not quite as delightful and meaty a role as Kiroku, and not as strong of a goodbye present as Sho Fu Kan, but lovely nonetheless. Tobias was not inherently a remarkable character, but he was an excellent blank canvas on which Kai painted herself, making him cool, hot, and everyone’s big brother—all around lovable. Her costumes made NO sense (cowboy hat??) but she wore them so well I loved them all against my better judgment. Stage time dropped off pretty hard after Beni/Airi/Coto, but the scenes with the other sailors were my favorite, and Kai’s involvement in each was prominent enough (and CUTE enough) to make Tobias feel like a juicy role. She gets a lovely bridge solo toward the end, and fittingly leaves the ship crew to get married (to Mizuno Yuri/Karl’s sister), exiting separately in dramatic fashion to everyone else’s tears and well wishes. 

I found myself charmed by the supporting cast—including (especially??) the nameless lurkers of the background—more than usual. Was it the giant food props? Were they just exceptionally silly back there? I don’t know, but unfortunately the recording won’t illuminate them regardless. As for the named support, Mao Yuuki, Seo Yuria, Shidou Ryuu, and Amahana Ema made up the rest of the sailors with lines and stuff, and while there was barely anything for them to do, I (for reasons not entirely known) found Mao and Seo in particular extremely charming. Amato Kanon played a bratty screaming kid, the exact type of role I’d normally find annoying as hell, but she even managed to make HIM charming; she had a lot of very entertaining wordless interactions with some of the bigger players on the outskirts of various scenes while something else was happening in the middle. Mikkii used 5 of her 7 seconds of stage time prowling through the audience, and seeing her angry face advancing head on toward the gaijin seats was indescribably intimidating. The biggest surprise was I fell a little in love with Mizuno Yuri, who, to be fair, did not have to sing OR dance, but who did play a weird lanky adorably awkward country bumpkin with a stupid accent from Karl’s middle-of-nowhere hometown in a way that I for some reason could not stop watching. She, as Tobias’s bride, also bawled her eyes out on raku when the two of them ran off together. 

So far I still think Another World is the crown jewel of Benigumi, but I’d place Elbe second.

Estrellas

Seeing Estrellas was an odd experience because it got the New Year’s NHK broadcast, and I watched THAT before I saw it live—how often do you see a Takarazuka video BEFORE seeing the show live?? It’s my personal favorite Benigumi revue thus far. I fell in love with it pretty instantly, and interestingly I think a big part of that was the NHK cinematography, which combined with the song selection made it feel more like a concert or a FNS-style big televised music program. I found that fresh. It didn’t have QUITE that same vibe live, but still a good impact. I can see it being polarizing though; it’s very pop and not very Takarazuka at times, and I probably like it so much because I happen to personally like the song choices. 

Allowing for the fact that she was still performing very much within her own quirky style, Beni (up until Tokyo raku) seemed very on point to me, which I was glad to see; my last live Hoshigumi experience was Another World/Killer Rouge in Takarazuka toward the beginning of the run last year, and in Killer Rouge especially it seemed like she was being extremely cautious with her movements in a way that made me wonder if she was nursing or avoiding an injury. Every time I saw Estrellas though she danced full force. Airi had more than one sexy number to make up for Margit, most notably an all musumeyaku dance in the finale portion that I feel like I see pretty rarely from Hoshigumi. Beni and Airi’s duet dance was also VERY cute and very them.

Kai again got a lovely sendoff, a big long 3-song progression with perfectly chosen lyrics. The way she drank in the theater on the last day, like she was really trying to burn the image of the audience into her eyes, was SO much. 

Coto is stupid. She paints with her voice and that gets me real bad. There’s a solid handful of siennes in the top tier of vocals in Takarazuka, and while many of them are gorgeous singers, the only two I’ve heard play and emote with their voices the particular way I’m thinking of are Coto and Daimon. Her vocal control while she’s violently dancing is also astounding. She’s stupid.

Senshuuraku was an ordeal! Estrellas opened with Beni doing what I initially thought was some weird attempt at a sexy breathy thing, and then maybe thought she was trying not to cry, till it became abundantly clear that something bigger was wrong. She got hoarser and hoarser till some notes in “Tonight is What it Means to be Young” failed to come out entirely. She used her chuuzume ad lib time to apologize for her voice... sad, because that was the prime slot for cute and touching moments with the retiring actresses, but she was clearly too panicked and struggling to think of that. Then she explained during the curtain call that she broke her voice at the end of Elbe—and it must have been on the VERY last note, because the entirety of Elbe was COMPLETELY fine (I didn’t even notice a weird crack or anything at the end). I didn’t know you could break your voice that badly on one note, but I guess you can. She was very flustered and apologetic—also full on crying—though every curtain call, and while I can’t blame her for feeling remorseful I wish she’d dialed it back after the first couple of apologies and let the retiring actresses have their moment. But considering her state it was pretty remarkable that she powered through, and I hope she has a chance to recover before the next show.

I’ve lived through my share of Takarazuka retirements, including ones that turned a whole troupe’s vibe completely upside down, but somehow Kai’s feels unusually odd (I imagine Miya’s will as well). I think it’s gonna be a downer of a year. 

[pinkcurse]

Chapter 264, 265, 266 , and 226.5 Thoughts...a mini novel

Ok, I’m sorry, I’m sorry I haven’t posted my thoughts in a long time. Graduate school is a killer! Anyway, let's do this in order.

Chapter 264

1. Do any of us really believe that Kimiko is gone for good? Like seriously. I feel like with her it is a waiting game to when she comes back. The question is, will she be reformed or will she try to do something to hurt Kyoko again? My money is on vengeance. 

2. Kurisaki’s geeking out over Hiou’s grandpa is so adorable. I wonder if he will get a chance to meet him. Like if he comes on set to see how Kyoko is doing. The way he reacts to the fact that he didn’t hire Kanae makes me wonder if he suffers from the same illness that Kyoko suffers—wild delusions. 

3. I think the most important and intriguing thing from this chapter is WHAT IS THIS ROLE THAT KANAE FEELS UNABLE TO DO? Like seriously, what kind of role would she lack confidence in performing? She seems very confident. If I had to venture a guess, it would have to be something about being happy with a family situation like the one she has, to act contrary to her nature. Also, it’s in America. So, Kanae starts the excuse of our beloved characters to the U.S or maybe introduce Juli into the mix.

Chapter 265

1. So the bullying of Koga begins. I’m wondering where this goes. Does he become yet another Kyoko admirer or does he play some sort of role in FINALLY getting Ren and Kyoko together?  

2.”He’s just a toddler, toddling along.” I love this. It is soo true. Unfortunately for Kyoko...she is too. She thinks she understands love but she intentionally misunderstands that Ren is possessive of her. I would love SO MUCH for Kyoko to realize Ren’s feelings for her and call him out on it. Like she has already started to wake up to it with her conversation Kuon and why she shouldn’t have made the kiss promise with Kuon, but I question how many years we have to wait for it.

3. Ok, so Kyoko preserving the flower. I think all of her mementos from Ren are going to be sooo important at some point. Like Ren see’s getting to go into her room and seeing the bed for Princess Rosa, and the preserved the dandelion ring, and whatever place of honor Kyoko gives to her infinity points reward, and the corn stone sitting on a bed of sand from Guam. I hope that he sees this soon. Cause this will be the only thing, I think, that can make him realize Kyoko’s feelings.

4. BLEH SHO RUINS EVERYTHING. Not really, I think he is more of an instigator for Ren and Kyoko finally getting together. With Ren and Sho scheduled to show up at the same time... well, nothing good can come of this. Annnd... for all we know nothing good does come of it...

Chapter 266

1. Once again BLEH SHO RUINS EVERYTHING! I think we could all safely say that we saw Ren finding out Sho was there coming from about 200 miles away. I think as long as this incident wakes Ren up and gets his butt in gear then it isn’t too bad. 

2. Ok, Kyoko and Sho seemed really cute together right there, but I think if we saw Kyoko’s side of the conversation it probably wasn’t as cute and playful as it appeared to Ren and Yashiro. Remember Kyoko is a great actress so she might have been doing what she felt was needed to get Sho out of there ASAP. 

3. I kind of hate that he seems mad. But is he mad at her or himself? I don’t think he can be mad at her. I hope he realizes that and hopefully, they are able to have a decent conversation on the way to the studio. 

4. POOR YASHIRO! He tried soooo hard and he has to put up with grumpy Ren all day. Maybe he is the one who encourages Ren that Kyoko's interactions with Sho indicate that her heart is healed and that NOW IS YOUR MOMENT! GO FOR IT! HONESTLY, though.. I want Bo to be the one to encourage him cause... I just do. If not Bo, then I want to see Ren reach out to his parents and get advice from them. I can’t help but think we might see Julie soon, with all the little Kuon pictures we’ve been getting. I think Julie is going to be important to Kyoko’s growth. Kuu taught Kyoko how to live in her acting and truly love her roles, while I think Julie will teach Kyoko confidence in herself, and show her it’s possible to have a loving healthy relationship without sacrificing herself. 

5. Lastly, THAT LAST PAGE! Can that get any more ominous? With the Chapter title not even till then—Unexpected Results: One Day Earlier. So we are getting closer but the only thing I don’t expect is a confession, but it is the thing I am hoping for the most. I am just hoping they don’t have like an angsty time where they are separated and all depressed and angry at each other. The comment about the end of peaceful times, I think is a red herring (hoping?). I think if Ren does confess, Kyoko would definitely not be peaceful, mostly because she doesn't see herself as worthy of him. She isn’t even a possibility in her own mind. This is why we need Julie to save the day...or someone...anyone... help them...please.

Chapter 266.5

ZOMG WE GOT LIKE ALMOST A WHOLE FRICKEN CHAPTER SIDE STORY AND ITS GREAT!!!! 

Ok so storyline, timing wise this chapter is in two different places. The first page says the event happens a bit before chapter 266. However, it is only chapter 265 where Tashio is trying to remember what he locked away in the vault and chapter 266 is the next day. So, he had to have given her the letter that evening. If that's the case I can see why Kyoko didn’t open it immediately, she might have been worried about angry Ren, but she also was probably too busy worrying about Sho’s arrival the next day. 

So timing wise when Kyoko does open the letter, and based on Kanae’s comments, I think she doesn’t open it until after the Unexpected Results day... But Ren seemed OK... not like I would expect him to look if Ren and Kyoko had a falling out. 

Kanae does conclude that Ren must have dropped some sort of declaration bomb on Kyoko that caused Kyoko’s reaction to Ren. Soooo this gives me some hope for the unexpected result being Ren mans up and starts pursuing her seriously. 

All this being said this makes Kanae’s behavior during the Lotus and the Mire auditions strange. When Kyoko tells Kanae about “Amaya’s” feeling that Ren is in love with Kimiko, Kanae just kind of rolls with that idea, agreeing with Kyoko. We don’t even get a funny look from her to Kyoko. She has suspected Ren’s feelings from the beginning so why would she even entertain the idea that Ren is in love with someone other than Kyoko? The only thing I can figure is she saw through Kyoko’s lie and realized it was Kyoko’s feelings she was talking about. However, Kanae doesn’t indicate during this side story that she suspects Kyoko of having feelings toward Ren. I just find it interesting and inconsistent.

I am looking forward to eventually seeing Kanae call Ren out. Maybe it will be Kanae who gets our two idiots together....

This side story did bring out another inconsistency in the story as well...When Kyoko and Ren meet in the president’s office on white day Ren straight up tells Yashiro that he didn’t get her anything yet, but those tickets were sent the day before white day. Why lie about that? I don’t think Yashiro would have really teased him as much, maybe just said that it was a good idea that Kyoko would like the tickets. 

Ok here is a question for you my friends. Were you as equally disappointed with this white day gift as I was? Like, I kind of thought that when we did get one it might be theme park tickets (cause Skip Beat! hasn’t done that Shojo manga trope yet) buttttt I want her to go with Ren...or better yet...with Korn. 

What are your thoughts?

[him-e]

Why do you ship Reylo? Or, more accurately, what first interested you about Reylo and what do you find compelling about the ship that keeps you engaged in the fandom or rooting for it in canon?

What first interested me about it:

it’s the only thing that actually took me off guard me in a movie (TFA) that was otherwise really cute and engaging but also really, really safe (and predictable). Before watching TFA, I thought I had spoiled myself on every major development: Starkiller Base, Han’s death, Luke’s last minute apparition, Rey and Finn’s playful chemistry… I went to the theatre expecting two hours of harmless entertainment (which I got), the good guys being good and the bad guys being bad, a nostalgia trip at best and an uninspired but ultimately innocuous rehash of the original trilogy at worst… but what I actually did was stumble on a gorgeous and completely unexpected hero/villain ship, the kind that had sadly been lacking in my fandom life for years, at least since the good old days of True Blood season 2. No early review or spoiler had prepared me for that. (no early review or spoiler had prepared me for Rey and Kylo interacting at all, which in hindsight is h i l a r i o u s, and few mentioned how fantastic the character of Kylo Ren was. So not just Reylo, but everything surrounding Kylo was a pleasant surprise to me.) Bottom line: I went to see the movie with several expectations, but Reylo wasn’t certainly one of those. It wasn’t even something I knew I needed in my Star Wars. It just happened.

like, when i say it’s the only exception in a movie that plays it safe, I mean it. Just look at the interrogation scene, and all the pearl clutching it caused. Name another thing in TFA that sparked so much discourse.

it’s also the only dynamic that wasn’t ripped, one way or another, off similar relationships in the OT or PT.

curiously enough, Rey’s parentage wank is also one of the main reasons that got me looking more and more into Reylo. Like most people, I walked out of the theatre fully convinced Rey was a Skywalker and precisely Luke’s daughter. Predictable, but also so typically Star-Warsy, and back then I had no reason to believe they’d go for subverting the audience’s expectations. But Rey’s being a Skywalker meant that she’d necessarily develop at some point some sort of *personal* dynamic with local evil cousin (/brother?) Kylo Ren, a prospect I immediately found more interesting and narratively compelling than whatever relationship she might establish with her presumed deadbeat father, Luke. Were Rey and Kylo going to have a Micheal/Lucifer sort of dynamic, were they going to battle over their “divine” legacy? were they going to feel sympathy for each other? would they see each other as family at all? It didn’t take me long to realize I was actually more into this than into any other aspect (or dynamic) of the sequel trilogy, and it was all downhill from there.

all the post TFA fan theories concerning Rey and Kylo meeting in the middle and what that could entail for the Force plot (a new balance? Grey Jedi?)

yin/yang—opposites attract dynamic—enemies to friends (to lovers) = I CANNOT RESIST

they’ve seen each other’s deepest FEARS

THE STARKILLER DUEL!!!

What keeps me interested in it and makes me root for it in canon:

they’re complicated. Their relationship is complicated. Nothing about them is a simple “good girl redeems bad guy” scenario. Neither of them is willing to accept compromises to pull the other to their side, much less win their heart. They’ll move mountains and cross galaxies (and defy their own masters) to save the other’s life, but they’re not going to give up on their ideals, and if that’s the price to pay they’re fully willing to fight each other to death. They both understand each other deeply, on some instinctual, spiritual level, and don’t understand each other at all. The kinship and intimacy they feel when they’re in each other’s brain and soul dissipates when they try to communicate in person, in the same room, and it’s like they’re talking two different languages. They both want the best for each other, but they disagree on what “best” is supposed to mean. This is all very fascinating to me.

they’re real equals. In the Force, and in terms of narrative weight. See: the lightsaber tug-of-war. (and how interesting it is that in TFA Rey was able to both have exclusive control on the legacy saber and defeat Kylo, while in TLJ they both controlled it to the point that neither of them was eventually able to claim it for themselves?)

I, obviously, root for Kylo’s redemption. I believe Rey will have a huge part to play in it.

lonely eldritch Force children with too much power and too much responsibility on their shoulders, finding solace in each other and crying at the barest glimpse of a bright future together

none of the other options for Rey (or Kylo) interests me. Not even celibate!Rey—as I abundantly discussed before, it’s not the idea of Rey having a platonic/celibate happy ending with no romantic attachments per se that I reject (I’d be fine with it if the context was different), but the fact that, for it to happen NOW, Rey’s feelings for Ben should be inexplicably reduced to some weak sauce *I only care for your well-being as a friend and I’m happy to see you go on your merry way and possibly never see you again* pseudo-platonic thing. The way I see it Rey is super fiercely covetous of having Ben at her side, for her own selfish reasons and not just to win the war or because she has a good samaritan complex. Call it love, call it passion, call it passionate friendship, call it force bond shenanigans but… don’t tell me she’d be perfectly happy without him. 

speaking of which, THE FORCE BOND. Sensing the other’s presence at your side—being able to talk and even touch each other across entire galaxies, feeling what the other feels, but only for a handful of minutes each time, before the vision fades like mist between your fingers and you’re alone again. Dude. It’s the most beautiful trope EVER.

I need to stress it again: the Force is connecting them.

what we saw during the praetorian guard fight—Kylo and Rey fighting together in perfect synchronicity, like the force-bonded warriors they are—kept me awake for many many nights. I want more of that. 

I do believe that a Rey/Kylo alliance / friendship / partnership / romance is not just the heart of this trilogy but also the only satisfying endgame for it, at least for the Force side of the plot. A new concept of balance that’s the result of Light and Dark finding harmony and healing the wounds of the past is imo the only way to give the Force a happy ending that doesn’t feel like a rehash of the OT one (the Light wins = the Darkness is destroyed = the Jedi were right and the Sith were wrong). Also, consider: the PT ended with the triumph of the Dark Side, and the OT with the triumph of the Light. It’s not that much of a stretch to imagine that the ST will end with a combination of the two, or perhaps with a subversion of the whole dark/light dichotomy. 

they haven’t kissed and I live for the day they will

(I also live for the day they fight again and that’s the beauty of this ship: it’s a win-win situation no matter how it goes, and them being sworn enemies is almost as good as them being lovers. almost)

[brokehorrorfan]

Event Report: Rhode Island Comic Con 2018

Rhode Island Comic Con takes place in the smallest state, but the show gets bigger every year. Its seventh incarnation took place November 2-4 at the Rhode Island Convention Center, the Dunkin Donuts Center, and the Omni Hotel in Providence, RI. While the congestion of people between buildings during peak hours is seemingly unavoidable, this year's updated layout across the three locations (all connected to one another) proved to be the best use of space yet.

When not browsing the massive vendor room full of cool geek memorabilia, I spent a good chunk of the weekend in the two panel rooms at the Omni, listening to various celebrity guests discuss their storied careers. Between the gregarious speakers, the considerate fan questions, the enthusiastic hosts (some of whom were celebrities themselves), and the overall energy of the convention, every one one of the eight panels I saw over the course of the three days was supremely entertaining. The first one I attended was with Tim Curry, who received a standing ovation from the adoring crowd, moderated by voice actor Charlie Adler (who worked with Curry as the voice director on The Wild Thornberrys). Curry proudly remarked that it has been almost exactly 50 years since he started his acting career as part of the original London cast of Hair in 1968.

Although a 2012 stroke left the beloved actor in a wheelchair, Curry is still quite sharp on the microphone. The audience went wild when he briefly broke into his sinister Pennywise voice from It as well as his smashing accent from The Wild Thornberrys. When asked about his thoughts on the new It, Curry defiantly responded, "I didn't like it very much." He shared anecdotes about many of his beloved roles, including The Rocky Horror Picture Show (his favorite scene is the floor show, "Because it was all about me. It was very sexy!"), Clue, Legend (for which the makeup took 10 hours to apply the first time), Muppet Treasure Island, and even The Worst Witch (he admitted to getting so drunk on an actress's homemade gin that he later had to re-shoot his big song). He also revealed a few fun facts, such as how he was almost in Alien as John Hurt's chest-bursting character, Kane, which is what eventually led to him being cast in Legend. "I just thought Ridley Scott was the most amazing director," he remarked. He also loved the script for The Silence of the Lambs and was interested in the role of Hannibal Lecter.

Four members of the Loser's Club from It (2017) - Jack Dylan Grazer (Eddie), Chosen Jacobs (Mike), Wyatt Oleff (Stanley), and Jeremy Ray Taylor (Ben) - reunited for a panel that evening as well. The young actors noted that they had immediate chemistry upon meeting before filming and that they are very similar to their characters, which was apparent during the Q&A as well. The camaraderie is palpable when the friends interact with one another with youthful exuberance. Everything except Taylor watched the original It before filming, although he's now coming around to horror movies. Although they were unable to speak much about It: Chapter 2, which just wrapped production, they noted how surreal it was to meet their older counterparts. Friday evening concluded with a rousing screening of the Rocky Horror Picture Show featuring a shadow-cast by local favorites RKO Army.

I anticipated kicking off Saturday with an Elvira panel featuring the Mistress of the Dark herself, but Cassandra Peterson was unfortunately feeling under the weather and was forced to cancel. Thankfully, the session's guest host, Brian O'Halloran (Clerks), was willing to become the subject of the panel instead. He discussed working with Kevin Smith at length. They are mere weeks away from shooting the new Jay and Silent Bob movie, which he promises will be fun and cameo-heavy. Not unlike his character from Clerks, an audience question about Star Wars sent him on a humorous tirade about the franchise. His personal top three Star Wars movies may surprise you: The Empire Strikes Back, Rogue One, Solo.

It was fun to see Danny Trejo - known for playing tough guys in the likes of Machete, The Devil's Rejects, Desperado, Heat, Con Air, and Sons of Anarchy - cracking jokes and being so jovial during his panel. "I play a badass, but I’m not," he remarked as he recounted some of his surprising upcoming projects: the live-action adaptation of Dora the Explorer, a comedy titled Grand-Daddy Day Care, and an AMC sitcom, Food & Familia. He shared stories about the conception of Machete, which dates back to Desperado and then Spy Kids, the time he autographed a living tortoise in tribute to his Breaking Bad role, and his recent branching out into the food (with his Trejos Tacos restaurants) and music (with his newly-launched label, Trejo Music) industries. Perhaps the most interesting moment, however, was when he shared the story behind his signature chest tattoo, which involved being worked on by the same artist in three different prisons after being arrested for armed robbery at 14. It's truly inspiring to see how he turned his life around.

The Office reunion panel with Kate Flannery (Meredith) and Creed Bratton (Creed) was among the most highly-attended of the weekend. It took place in the smaller of the two panel halls, causing a long line of fans to be turned away. Those who were lucky enough to make it into the at-capacity room were treated to a lively conversation that was as funny as watching the show. Flannery was vivacious, while Bratton, true to his character, was dry and straight-faced. In addition to recounting their favorite moments in the series' nine-season run, they expressed their willingness to return for a Christmas special or other such revival if the writers can find a way to make it work and the rest of the ensemble cast is on board.

The Rocky Horror Picture Show panel was an unexpected highlight. Barry Bostwick (Brad) and Meat Loaf (Eddie) needed no moderator; they were old friends having an open conversation with one another. The first 20 minutes were essentially a comedy routine, with Meat spinning a fictitious story about the origins of his stage name while Bostwick occasionally interjected with a question or a dry quip. There was nary a mention of Rocky Horror until they opened up to the crowd for questions. When asked about screenings during which the audience talks back to the movie, Meat was brutally honest: "I wouldn't go to that to save my life." He went on to say that he loved seeing fans dress up, but he found it disrespectful to the movie and those who worked on it to speak out during screenings. Bostwick was quick to add that he believed such screenings are why the film has had such longevity. Meat also relished the opportunity to roast the audience. The actors' remarkable rapport caused the panel to go long, but, since it was the last of the evening, no one seemed to mind.

Rhode Island Comic Con put together a worthwhile after-party on Saturday night. After 90 minutes of DJ Darth Fader spinning music, dancing, cocktails, and mingling with some of the celebrities in attendance - including James Murray (Impractical Jokers), Joey Fatone (Nsync), Bam Margera (Jackass), Bai Ling (The Crow), and Spencer Wilding (Rogue One: A Star Wars Story) - it was time for Epic Rap Battles of History. The creators of the viral YouTube channel, Peter "Nice Peter" Shukoff and Lloyd "EpicLloyd" Ahlquist - took the stage to perform many of their fan-favorite rap battles live, full of energy and the occasional prop. They performed such favorites as Goku vs. Superman, Rick Grimes vs. Walter White, Terminator vs. Robocop, and Zeus vs. Thor, in addition to medleys with verses from various battles. They occasionally invited fans on stage to perform verses, and in the middle of the set they made their way into the crowd to perform a few songs, including a freestyle created on the spot by audience suggestion: Spider-Man vs. Christina Aguilera. Although they haven't released a new video in nearly two years, Shukoff and Ahlquist clearly haven't missed a beat. They concluded their hour-long set by revealing that they have a new video featuring Elon Musk coming in December.

Sunday kicked off for me with a panel featuring Impractical Jokers' James "Murr" Murray and Nsync's Joey Fatone. While no one was entirely sure what to expect, it was a standard - but highly entertaining - question-and-answer session, with Fatone essentially serving as moderator and occasionally offering his input. Fatone first bonded with the Jokers over their mutual love of Superman. He quickly befriended the gang, then appeared on the show before becoming the host of the Impractical Jokers after-show, After Party. Murr teased the upcoming Impractical Jokers movie, which is due in theaters next year. He said that it's a road movie, with a scripted beginning and ending, but the rest of the film features the guys pranking one another around the country. While Fatone revealed he makes a cameo in the film, Murr told the crowd that it features "the most embarrassing moment of my life," which left him in tears. He also shared plenty of fun stories from the show, including showing off his driver's license photo with no eyebrows.

Later in the day, the Stranger Things panel with David Harbor (Hopper) and Noah Schnapp (Will), and moderated by Clare Kramer (Buffy the Vampire Slayer), capped off the weekend on a high note. They have one week left of shooting the hit Netflix series' third season. They were unable to speak much about it, but Harbor called it "the most Spielbergian thing we’ve ever done," while Schnapp remarked, "It's even bigger than season two." Harbor revealed that we'll see more of Hopper's backstory as a Vietnam veteran and a New York City police officer, while Schnapp hinted that there may be a love story between Will and Eleven. Hopper also discussed his titular role in the upcoming Hellboy reboot. Filming in Bulgaria proved to be difficult, and the three hours of make-up each day wasn't a lot of fun, but he promised lots of practical effects and a storyline that would be closer to the comic on which its based. He also shared a funny story about a run-in with a wild bull during shooting.

In addition to the numerous celebrities mentioned above, Rhode Island Comic Con's exceptional guest list included Hayden Christensen (Star Wars), Gwendoline Christie (Star Wars), Kiefer Sutherland (The Lost Boys), Jason Patric (The Lost Boys), Lance Henriksen (Aliens), Tom Felton (Harry Potter), Natalia Tena (Harry Potter), Zachary Levi (Shazam), Tom Welling (Smallville), Michael Rosenbaum (Smallville), Alan Tudyk (Firefly), Finn Jones (Game of Thrones), Billy Boyd (Lord of the Rings), Tony Danza (Who’s the Boss?), Levar Burton (Star Trek: The Next Generation), Michelle Trachtenberg (Buffy the Vampire Slayer), Dylan McDermott (American Horror Story), Michael Rooker (The Walking Dead), Sarah Wayne Callies (The Walking Dead), Laurie Holden (The Walking Dead), Jenna Elfman (Fear the Walking Dead), Zach Galligan (Gremlins), Morena Baccarin (Deadpool), Ice-T (Law & Order: Special Victims Unit), Billy Zane (Titanic), Dee Snider (Twisted Sister), Jason David Frank (Power Rangers), and many more.

Although all comic conventions have slowly become more of pop culture expos and celebrity autograph shows over the years, Rhode Island Comic Con stays true to its roots by inviting many comic writers and artists. This year included Deadpool co-creator Rob Liefeld and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles co-creator Kevin Eastman, among others. I had the pleasure of meeting Eastman, who graciously signed one item - complete with a quick sketch of a Ninja Turtle - for free for everyone throughout the weekend. He was very personable, striking up a brief conversation with each fan who waited in line. In addition to dozens of comic creators, aspiring artists were invited to have their portfolios reviewed.

While the headlining guests were the main attraction at the Dunkin Donuts Center, I was very excited to see an It (1990) display, curated by John Campopiano, writer-producer of the upcoming Pennywise: The Story of It documentary. The crown jewel of the collection was one of Tim Curry's actual, screen-used Pennywise costumes, of which fans were allowed to take photos, but he also had many editions of the film and Stephen King's novel from around the world, among other memorabilia. I was disheartened to hear, however, that two props were stolen from the booth during the event, and as a result the collection will no longer be displayed at conventions. I hope the missing items surface, because the display was a real treat for Stephen King fans.

Impressive costumes - from movies, TV, comics, anime, cartoons, video games, wrestlers, pop culture figures, and mash-ups - could be found walking around the showroom floor throughout the weekend, but many of the best cosplayers competed in a costume contest on Sunday evening. Everyone's efforts were extremely impressive, but the cosplay celebrity judges ultimately awarded the winners in three categories. Eleven from Stranger Things (complete with a Demodog) won for beginners, a group dressed up as Mighty Morphin Power Rangers villains shared the prize for intermediate, and a female Pennywise from It (2017) was selected for the master class. But it was a couple dressed as The Sorceress and Battle Cat from Masters of the Universe who were awarded Best in Show. It was a fun way to end the weekend.

In addition to the celebrity guests signing autographs and taking pictures, celebrity panels, cosplaying, and hundreds of vendors with anything a pop culture nerd could ever want, Rhode Island Comic Con includes exclusive merchandise, fan panels, film screenings, geek speed dating, kids activities, live tattooing, and more. It's impossible to experience it all in one day, so I recommend springing for the weekend pass when next year's event rolls around on November 1-3, 2019.

Click here to see all of my Rhode Island Comic Con 2018 photos.

[truthbeetoldmedia]

Good Trouble 1x12 “Broken Arted” Review

In the penultimate episode of Good Trouble’s first season, sh*t hits the fan. Then again, what else can we expect from the show with more love triangles, rectangles and whatever shape you can think of, really, than any other?

Most of the episode takes place at an art gallery where Gael is featuring eight of his pieces, hoping to attract some new fans and some buyers. Most of the gang tags along, and even some of Mariana’s coworkers and her boss are there.

Raj accompanies Mariana, who is preparing to make an app pitch to the CEO of the company, Evan. Unfortunately, Mariana’s work friend, Casey, has advised her not to pitch her original idea as it’s something he’s heard before, and when Mariana brings up her idea for an activism app, Casey isn’t so sure he’ll like that either.

Mariana is also majorly stressed out about the not-so-anonymous anonymous list detailing employee salaries at the company. Though she still wants to make positive change and close the wage gap at Speckulate, she knows that being the only marked Latina female on the list will out her and attract some negative attention.

Regardless, Raj agrees to stick by her side and remain open about his race on the list as well. He says, “If you go down, I’m going down with you.” (Is anyone else crying?)

Meanwhile, Gael receives slightly negative feedback on one of his pieces, causing Bryan to immediately strategize how he can get some positive publicity. Gael is getting more and more uncomfortable by the minute though, and when his sister, Jazmin confronts him about his feelings for his boyfriend, he realizes that becoming exclusive with him was probably a mistake. He’s still in love with Callie. After all, she helped him craft one of the pieces in the gallery last minute the night before. She’s his muse, as he calls her.

While he tries to sort through his feelings, Jamie and Callie seem to be going strong. Jamie continues to look into Judge Wilson and his son’s legal past, since both find it strange that charges on him were dropped after he assaulted a police officer. With Callie being replaced as the clerk on the Jamal Thompson case, she seems to have more time to snoop, and less worries about the possible consequences. When Malika tries to get her to come to the next Black Lives Matter protest though, she still says no. Being seen at the event may be a little too public seeing as she’s still a clerk for Judge Wilson.

While Malika is attempting to organize the protest, her mind is occupied by her brother, who she hasn’t heard from in a while and whose number has suddenly been changed. She tries to focus on her work, but when she finally hears from him, he tells her he’s not well.

Meanwhile, Sumi and Meera’s relationship is threatening to fall apart. Sumi tells Alice that she’s still in love with her, and even admits she was her soulmate. She’s set to get married in just days, and while she’s admitted her feelings, Alice seems to genuinely be into Joey. I can’t be the only one crossing my fingers every time Alice is on screen that she won’t forget her worth and get back with her ex, right?

Speaking of which, ah, Davia. Her on-and-off boyfriend who’s from Wisconsin and still married (what a mouthful) is back in LA and still promising to leave his wife for her. Though Dennis has made it clear that he doesn’t want to see her get hurt and doesn’t think he’s good enough for her, Davia is continuing to see the guy. However, she seems to be taking Dennis’ words to heart, because she informs her boyfriend that she’s not moving back home until he’s divorced. She’s not going to continue being someone’s mistress. Yes, girl!

At the gallery, Mariana runs into Evan and pitches him her idea, which despite Casey’s warning, he seems to love. Unfortunately, Angela and Josh are watching the entire exchange, and Josh tells Angela that he’s afraid Evan is into Mariana for more than her app ideas. He mentions a name we haven’t heard before, Amanda, and remarks that he doesn’t want what happened to her to happen to Mariana, landing Speckulate smack dab in the middle of a #MeToo movement scandal. He then tells Angela to get her fired.

When Mariana tells Raj about how well her informal pitch went, he isn’t as congratulatory as she’d hoped. Raj then unknowingly echoes Josh, telling Mariana that he’s afraid Evan has bad intentions. She doesn’t want to hear this though, and blows up on Raj, reminding him that he’s the one who had bad intentions. Yikes.

Back at the loft, Bryan confronts Gael about his feelings for Callie, knowing from the paint on Callie’s hands that she helped him create his last minute piece. Gael admits that he should’ve never agreed to be exclusive (sigh) and breaks things off. Bryan’s words to Callie as he leaves? “You won.”

The next morning, at Speckulate, Angela confronts Mariana about the anonymous list, having hacked her way into the system to get it. Instead of firing her on the spot though, Angela gives Mariana a hard drive of all the men’s salaries. Could this be an unexpected partnership blooming? Or is Angela taking Josh’s warning seriously and setting her up?

We don’t have much time to ponder this because in probably the most heartbreaking Good Trouble episode ending ever, Dennis is missing. This comes after his friend who went into a deal with Jesus on building tiny houses is threatening to back out, all because of drama involving Dennis and his soon to be ex-wife.

She then tells Dennis that he was a horrible husband and horrible father, and that it took their son getting cancer for him to care about her feelings. With these words ringing through his head, Dennis takes off and parks his car on the roof of a tall building overlooking the city. He leaves his ex a voicemail detailing how horrible he feels for everything he’s done, and how he wants her to have all the money from the settlement so that she can start a happy life without him.

It’s clear that Dennis is about to hurt himself, but as we see Davia panicking, thinking back on every interaction Dennis had with his friends at the gallery that day, she realizes as we do that it wasn’t a spur of the moment decision. He’s been saying goodbye to everyone he knows and loves for days. And before we can see what he does, the screen cuts to black. For the first time ever, Good Trouble has left us wondering about the fate of a beloved character (can someone pass the tissues?).

So let’s unpack all of this. Where do I even begin?

There’s so many relationships intersecting here that it’s almost difficult to keep track, perhaps the biggest drawback of having so many amazing characters. Of course we have Callie and her love triangle with Jamie and Gael, who’s also dating (well, dated) Bryan. But then, there’s also Alice, Joey, Sumi and Meera, and then there’s the weird unestablished shape that is Mariana, Raj and Evan. Because after all, she may not be interested in either of them.

And a bit more understated, we have Davia whose relationship with her boyfriend is on and off, and who I refuse to believe doesn’t have something going on with Dennis, whom is also dealing with his ex-wife.

On top of all this relationship drama, we have much bigger issues unraveling in this episode. Mariana’s anonymous salary list has now been discovered by Angela, her boss, and it seems like people at Speckulate want her gone. Additionally, the CEO of the company, Evan, who’s taken interest in her, has a cloudy past that may involve sexual assault? Whoever this Amanda person is, I’m dying to hear about her and maybe even get a flashback of her relationship with Evan. But for now, the fact that we know close to nothing is only building the suspense.

Meanwhile, Malika’s brother seems to be in trouble in the midst of the protest she’s organized. I’m still trying to figure out what exactly could’ve happened, but I can only imagine it involves their mom in some way, shape or form. Regardless, it’s about to get ugly.

But most worrying of all is Dennis’ disappearance and worrying voicemail left to his ex-wife. We can all assume that he’s probably about to attempt suicide, and with Davia the only person who seems to be around, I’m terrified to find out if she’s able to get to him on time. I’m really glad though that the show is honing in on this relationship between two friends who virtually hated each other at the beginning of the season. They’ve learned in such a short time that they have more in common than they thought, and that they only want the best for each other. If only one thing can happen in the finale, I hope it’s Davia saving Dennis and reiterating to him that his life is worth living, because he is worthy of love and happiness and  success just like everyone else.

With all the “good” trouble we’ve seen the characters get into, it’s so important that real issues like the wage gap and mental health are being brought up as well. Scandalous relationship drama and threesomes can be entertaining to watch, but Good Trouble is concerned with being more than just entertaining. This show is starting conversations about things like men’s mental health, and I’m so, so thankful they are. Men have only recently been given a platform to talk about their mental health issues, and Dennis is one of few great examples of representation in that space.

As we go forward to the finale and into the second season, I’m hoping that Dennis’ story will continue to be told, and that we’ll see him heal, even if slowly, because that’s real and it’s raw. In addition to Dennis, there’s so many amazing stories being told in this show that will continue to be told. I feel like I say this every week, but the writers of this show are so fantastic and I applaud the work they’re doing to create realistic dialogue between characters that tackles social issues. There are so many characters in the Coterie and at Judge Wilson’s firm and at Speckulate that come from all walks of life and have their own experiences to share.

The finale is definitely going to be full of drama, with Dennis, Callie/Gael/Jamie, and the lesbian love rectangle just to name a few characters/relationships. I’m definitely not ready.

Good Trouble airs Tuesdays on Freeform at 8/7c.

Jessica’s episode rating: 🐝🐝🐝🐝

[bakechochin]

The Book Ramblings of January 2019

In place of book reviews, I will be writing these ‘book ramblings’. A lot of the texts I’ve been reading (or plan to read) in recent times are well-known classics, meaning I can’t really write book reviews as I’m used to. I’m reading books that either have already been read by everyone else (and so any attempt to give novel or insightful criticisms would be a tad pointless), or are so convoluted and odd that they defy being analysed as I would do a simpler text. These ramblings are pretty unorganised and hardly anything revolutionary, but I felt the need to write something review-related this year. I’ll upload a rambling compiling all my read books on a monthly basis.

Wise Blood - Flannery O’Connor I haven’t read much American literature, but far be it from me to state that the sole reason for this is my position as a staunch Englishman. In truth, I genuinely just don’t have much of an interest for the great American texts; the enforced reading of such literature during GCSEs and A-Level taught me that even the American texts with the best prose were not on the most interesting of subject matters, concerned with social progress or supposedly deserving of merit because of relevant historical context, as opposed to actually just being, well, enjoyable. Yes, I am obviously over-simplifying to a ludicrous extent, but these were the thoughts that I had way back in the halcyon days of school, and subsequently these are the thoughts that I’ve carried with me since, simply because I haven’t been arsed to actively try to challenge them. However, my infatuation with the grotesque was bound to bring me to the realms of American literature at some point, and so asking my American friend to procure me a copy of this book with a decent cover, I started on this Southern Gothic classic. I love the idea of transposing the gothic genre to a setting different than one would conjure up from the word ‘gothic’, and the fictional deep South town of Taulkinham does a bloody good job at capturing what I want; there’s madness and isolation and a sense of oddity in the air, and the town is populated by a gallery of fantastic and memorable grotesques. The fantastic and evocative prose, almost comical at points, belies how fucking odd the story’s events are, and breathes life into this setting in a similar way to Hammett’s Red Harvest; this is perhaps one of my favourite techniques in literature, simply because I’ve never thought of envisioning America in this fantastical way. The story is rather fragmented, with many of its major scenes basically being some of O’Connor’s short stories stitched together (and the Frankensteined nature of the story does result in a few chapters having noticeably different writing styles to the rest, or some characters’ decisions that would develop into these slotted-in short stories seeming odd and poorly explained). With this awareness, I remain unconvinced with critics’ dogmatic statements along the lines of ‘O’Connor evokes an individual voice/style, unburdened by the rules or conventions of story writing’; if she had that in mind, as a deliberate means of creating a fragmentary narrative in the name of the genre or in reflection of the characters or what have you, she came up with that shit after she started writing. It is a view that I could subscribe to, on account of the fact that this is not a stereotypical narrative. Characters don’t do much or evolve much, with the decisions made by the characters seemingly motivated more by manic episodes than actual rational thought; Hazel, for instance, is depicted as basically coming up with the teachings and philosophies of his Church without Christ as he goes along, repeating his new discoveries to himself and to anyone who will listen as soon as he formulates them, and it is this improvisational drifting (motivated by his own warped thinking) that defines his story’s progression. What separates gothic stories set in recognisably recent times to gothic stories set in the distant histories of castles and deep dark woods, is the changed understanding of madness, and I’ve talked about this a lot in my rambles on Le Fanu but I’ll delve into this book’s treatment of it. In the words of Bakhtin, ‘in Romantic grotesque, … madness acquires a somber, tragic aspect of individual isolation’, but before the advancement of scientific knowledge as to what actually constituted ‘madness’, it often took the form of histrionics and melodrama. This is all fine and dandy when you’re writing a story about tormented murderers hearing hearts beating under the floorboards, or masked men with skeletal faces scuttling around opera houses, but when you’ve got to transpose this madness to a recent-ish society, with said madness being expressed or brought out via recognisable themes such as religion, you’ve got to tone it down a bit. As such, Hazel and Enoch are manic, not mad, and this is excellently conveyed through their individual speech styles and the ways that other characters interact or interpret the two; my favourite example of this is Enoch running down his day’s activities to himself as a strict and sacrosanct ritual of undeniable importance, swiftly followed by the reveal of the actions’ trivial nature (and his co-workers negative opinions of him as a result). WOULD I RECOMMEND?: HELL YES

The Crock of Gold - James Stephens Trying to ascertain the seriousness of this text boggles my brain. Let it first be said that I rather like this book, despite the shoddy John Murray publication that I have it in; I was prompted to purchase it on account of its place in the great ‘Irish comic tradition’, basically expecting something along the lines of The Unfortunate Fursey, but I instead was greeted with a much more thoughtful and interesting read that I advise everyone to pick up at some point, with the caveat that you have to be in a very specific mindset to read it. It’s a funny story, but it is quietly funny; the humour comes from little quirks in the writing, in the speech and actions of its characters, in the ultimate charm of the story. The dialogue is deliberately circumlocutive and often rather meaningless, pondering incessantly on philosophical matters big and small, and ofttimes the narrative itself reflects these rambling trains of thought, most notably a long aimless pilgrimage wherein the Philosopher stumbles across snippets of other peoples’ lives, experiencing quibbles and learning folk wisdom and ruminating on the head and heart. The book’s world is charming, all made up of storybook character archetypes and Irish folklore (described matter-of-factly and easily accepted as truth); ofttimes, the information that we are given is ultimately unimportant and has no bearing on the overall story, and this is a statement that can, truthfully, be applied to much of the text, but it is all the same delicately written and rather pleasant. The book does perhaps toe the line on this point with its rambling philosophical paragraphs from the Gods, with its grand allegories and metaphysical nonsense getting a tad wanky and mind-numbing, but it’s not the most egregious thing in the world. In any case, the philosophising of the Philosopher is entertaining enough to make up for the rather more dense philosophising of the Gods, being much more like the aforementioned circumlocution, going off on unrelating tangents and eventually bringing the rambling back around to the initial point that catalysed said rambling. I bring this up not only as a point of comparison, but because it ties in nicely with the commonly-utilised storytelling method of basically going off on a tangent, following one person off on their quest before jumping back to where the narrative left off to see how things are doing then. This can perhaps be attributed to this book’s lack of urgency or real danger, and thus lack of a need for hastiness and rapid jumping from one person’s story to another. This extends even to the final resolution of the humans’ storyline, which basically amounts to one sentence saying that what they set out to do was done and dusted; there isn’t even a scene to show everyone happy again, because it is simply implied that things will go back to the jolly equilibrium. Hell, when the book incorporates wistful or thoughtful or even flat-out sad tales, no resolution is offered for them. The story just goes on, and we are presumably meant to just assume that all will end up alright in the end, or at the very least, all will just end, and then it’s not worth worrying about any more. Reading what I thought would just be another fucking The Unfortunate Fursey type of fantasy book has really evoked some unexpected feelings in me. So that’s nice. WOULD I RECOMMEND?: YES, IF YOU’RE IN THE RIGHT MOOD

Gulliver’s Travels - Jonathan Swift I’ll level, I went into this book expecting a low-brow adventure story about little dudes and fucking massive units. It is, in fact, a tad more complex than this. This book is a lot of things; it can be read as a storybook adventure novel, but it is also a satirical piece, both of Swift’s society in general and of the travel writings form, and it is this satire that I am not too fond of. But we’ll get to that. The main technique utilised in this novel (yeah I’m just going to call it a novel for simplicity's sake) is optical conceit, and the idea of viewing familiar things from different perspectives or in different ways, presenting them in a new light as ridiculous or laughable and perhaps to make us reevaluate the workings of society so farcically presented. This technique is noticeable mainly in the first and second travels, coincidentally the two travels that are most widely known, and this optical conceit is a concept that I like a lot more in theory than in practise. The first travel takes us to Lilliput, the island of the small blokes, and here the small size of the people links in with their small-mindedness and melodramatic quibbling over minor matters, but in the second travel to Brobdingnag, land of the big dudes, the size of the folk is seemingly unrelated from the satire. With the possible exception of the pompous Prince, none of the natives have any sort of comical largesse or egotism that might have related to the satire. And then when I had this in my mind, I began scrabbling around to try and find some other snippets of how the native people tie in with the satire, to little to no avail. The Lilliputians put great faith in long and formal written legislations and diatribes (related in full in Gulliver’s account), suggestive of shrewd ink-nosed clerks hiding behind their papers, and much of the Brobdingnagian report is one long rambling philosophical back-and-forth between Gulliver and the Prince, suggesting these large people have large mouths and loud opinions, but the satire, in my opinion, is a) tenuous and b) not what I’d consider engaging reading. And that’s not even considering the specific basis of the satire: contemporary politics! This book is striking an interesting balance between being entertaining in its own right, and ostensibly being entertaining because of its significance as satire, that every character or event in the story is comically reflecting some real-life event in English politics. To this, I have to compare it to Calvino’s story Invisible Cities, and it’s varying depictions of Venice through different disguises; it doesn’t matter how you tart up your source material, or how colourful your new layer of paint is, because if I’m not interested in the original source material then I probably won’t give too much of a toss about how it is newly presented. And contemporary English politics really could not appeal to me less, even if Swift does dress them up as Lilliputian acrobatic displays or thinly veiled warring kingdom allegories. That’s not to say that there is nothing funny to be found in this text; the details in the stories that are not intended to serve any satirical purpose, and instead merely to emphasise the differences between worlds, are always great fun. My favourites are the Lilliputian’s alien descriptions of the gigantic contents of Gulliver’s pockets, and two great instances of humungous monstrosities in Brobdingnag, namely the huge lice on the giant beggars and the scene of a Brobdingnagian mother breastfeeding; the sheer revulsion that Gulliver has to this spectacle is fucking hysterical. The travel to Laputa has got a good grasp on linking the fun content with the satirical aspect (not only is the flying island a great pisstake of science-minded learned folk, but is also like something out of a fucking Lem story), but the overall story is generally rather boring and without much in the way of obstacle or threat. The Land of the Houyhnhnms doesn’t really have the optical conceit, being more of an abstract switcharoo of horses and people, with not much relationship between the two races and a lot of obvious satire about man’s bestial nature. There are occasions of overt physical comedy, again tied in with these changes in size; Gulliver is in one story dousing great fires with his almighty piss stream, and in another being dressed up like a doll or dunked in a bowl of cream by a mendacious dwarf (or rather, a dwarf by Brobdingnagian standards). I am fully in accord with the former sort of comedy, not only because such imagery of dousing fires with a slash puts me in mind of Gargantua and Pantagruel, but because it reflects this book’s fun indulgence in crude toilet humour. Crude toilet humour is fun to begin with, but Swift uses scatalogical humour to demean the noble form of travel writings, taking a moment from seriously discussing the learned folk and their cultures and customs to describe his shitting habits. The latter sort of comedy, however, that serves to emasculate Gulliver by having him toyed with by giant folk or entrapped by tiny folk, only highlights to me the lack of character that Gulliver has, beyond being our narrator. I’m sure that critics will argue for his supposed egotism or pomposity or whatnot, but such details in the text are thin on the ground, and if Gulliver is not characterised as being a dick, why should the reader find it entertaining or cathartic when he gets his shit handed to him? These problems perhaps originate with Swift’s worries of the character of Gulliver being a reflection of himself; he is willing to put the character through light slapstick shenanigans, but he hasn’t got the balls to go too far lest it tarnish his own reputation. Apparently in one early publication of this text, Gulliver partakes in the custom of eating shit with the ape people, but oh no no, Swift couldn’t possibly have something that funny in the story in case anyone thought that he himself might truly be a coprophagous ninny! There is a strange bequeathment of snooty scholarly worth unto this book, considering that it does have talking horses and ape men who shit everywhere, as illustrated by the study done around this book (handily referenced in the editor’s annotations). Let me briefly give some examples. This book uses a lot of nonsense ‘little language’ for its place names and whatnot, and as you can tell by the fact that I’ve taken every opportunity to use the word ‘Brobdingnagian’ in this ramble, I’m rather fond of it all. However, amidst all the daft place names (all bizarre anagrams of existing places), the editor makes sure to highlight some as being ‘obvious, and therefore uncharacteristic’, as though there is a scholarly level of obfuscation or stupidity to adhere to in order to be respectable. This sense of superiority continues to the demeaning of one particularly transparent and obvious satirical paragraph, which is described as being ‘artistically weaker’ than the rest of the text; not that I’m defending the aforementioned insulted paragraph, because it isn’t that good, but the implication that the text deserves artistic merit because of the obfuscation of its satire rubs me up the wrong way a bit. WOULD I RECOMMEND?: PROBABLY NOT

The Nightwatches of Bonaventura - Bonaventura The new introduction to this text, written by the uppity translator Gerald Gillespie, is rather dogmatic in its excessive insistences of all of the things that this text is, or takes inspiration from. As much as I like to portray myself as a learned man and top-quality dude, I’m not so invested in contextualising this book’s composition that I’m willing to engross myself in Napoleonic war history or the works of Kant. What I am interested in, however, is the Romantic grotesque, for whilst Bakhtin’s infatuation with Rabelais’ grotesque completes eclipses any appreciation he might have of any writer who deviates from Rabelais, Bakhtin manages to spare a brief word of praise for this text amidst all the wanking over Rabelais, so I was intrigued enough to get myself a copy. This a book densely populated with great grotesque imagery and content, and as such it is a book that probably warrants re-reading with a certain subject in mind so as to allow for further unpacking, but within the framework of the grotesque, Bakhtin was right to say that this book basically epitomises the Romantic grotesque, because it’s all here in amazing detail. The story is a rambling introspective on dark topics, either prompted by the morbid and corrupt sights of the world around our narrator or plucked from the memories of our narrator’s own dark past. Said narrator, Kruezgang, brilliantly speaks on such subjects with amazing and colourful prose, with literary allusions and warped rumination galore. The other characters in the watches seem more like marionettes or shadow puppets, necessary to tell separate stories or fill a hole where there should be an aspect of Kruezgang’s past, but their purpose as such is fascinating enough and so excellently done that it doesn’t warrant criticism. The world is grim and grotesque, but depicted out as a joke via Kruezgang’s own view of it, described with poetical allegories and bitterly laughing at awful events by portraying them as black comedy farces. This book’s infatuation and idolisation of the mad and the strange and the grim is something fantastic, it really is. Now, having prefaced this ramble with such positivity, I can delve into a truth that looms over this text like a storm cloud; it is so incredibly fucking dense that I could not imagine rereading this book for any reason other than literary analysis. There is so much content, rich bloody content, in this book that it is easy to equate the feeling of numbness in one’s mind with an overload of such fantastic stuff, from the prose to the ideas to the fascinating storytelling, but this process of thought precludes the very important contributing factor to said mind-numbness, which is that the book seemingly just rambles about nothing at all! Am I to assume that such rich prose in the name of maddening circumlocutive (is that a word?) nothingness actually does have a purpose, and my mind just slides over it because it can’t comprehend the information, or perhaps just can’t contain so much information? Am I an uncomprehending fool for glossing over chunks of text, or am I just inadequately prepared to cram so much prose into my bonce at any one time? Such thoughts bounced around in my head as I was reading, and the only conclusion that I could come to was that I would be hard-pressed to recommend this book to anyone, for what if they encountered the same problems, and asked me to elucidate on such matters, when I have no answers to give them? Wouldn’t I look a fool then! But I digress. The introduction snootily says that to break down the narrative’s events chronologically would only ‘contravene the spirit… of the work’, which I believe insofar as a fragmented narrative obviously reflects the fragmented mind of the narrator (real in-depth analysis going on here), but that doesn’t mean that I won’t say that the narrative isn’t all over the shop, generally rather confusing, and interspersed with fragments of other stories of seeming tangential relation to Kruezgang’s storyline, all described with Bonaventura's same grandiose verbosity but often nowhere near as interesting as Kruezgang. Sure, I could have read into the exact (and no doubt important) purpose(s) of these segments, but a) just reading this book and revelling in its dark prose is an enriching enough experience without having to learn all the context clues that contributed to such nonsense being formulated, and b) most of the research writing about this book by Gillespie is just trying to figure out who Bonaventura is, a mystery to which I honestly could not give any semblance of a fuck about. WOULD I RECOMMEND?: NO, UNLESS YOU WANT TO READ IT FOR ACADEMIC PURPOSES

Shit I read this month that I couldn’t be arsed to ramble about: Shakespeare and Co. by Stanley Wells (absolutely amazing, incredibly informative, would absolutely recommend if it’s your thing), and City of Sin by Catharine Arnold (generally fun and informative, Arnold’s voice can get annoying at times, overall would recommend just for the chapters about sex in the medieval/early modern period and the chapter on Victorian pornography).

[stilinsk1]

Cole’s interview for Boys by Girls Magazine, part 2

(part 1) Sorry for every mistake and typo! 

Where are you at now? I'm still very much figuring it out. I think 'Riverdale' is still a liminal space for me. I never assumed I would go back to entertainment, and I didn't think I'd be doing TV if I did, but it's a Golden age for television right now. I mean, if Anthony Hopkins is on a TV show, you know you're in the right place. My brother and I had played it smart enough throughout our college careers with our finances, that we were in a place where the reason for us to be acting wouldn't be money. That we could be the patrons of our own agency and curate a collectin that we wanted to see, and I'm still figuring out how I can do that and still be a working actor. I think the greatest dilemma for any artist is between commercialism and passion artistry. In saying that, to be an actor means to be a working actor - and to be a working actor often means not being in full control of the narratives you fit into. Although it't different for me now, because I've gone through college, and backed up my understanding of acting and entertainment wish a wide dialogue of other disciplines. I can approach this form now through a much different lens.

I think people have an understanding of my brother and I now that we have it all figured out. I get asked a lot about 'Riverdale' and whether I helped the other young actors on the show get through this and that. I couldn't imagine me going around and being like, "Hey listen to me, I've done this before, okay. Trust me." The truth is - it's brand new. Every new project is an experience that I haven't lived before, this character is very different from the last one, and this experience is different than the previous. The industry has changed dramatically during the five years I was away, so to think that I can bring any realm of experience into this brand new game...

How do you go from arrogant little Cole to an empathetic artist? It seems like two different worlds to me. How do you get from one to the other? Is that just from within or were there circumstances around you that triggered that as well? The circumstances of the arrogance were that my brother and I were the primary bread earners in our family. We were running a ship, completely inexperienced, and as children we were unqualified for the role. I think the shame in recognising how much the industry had shaped that arrogance and how close I was to a stereotypical and cliched narrative of a young actor - along with a desire for uniqueness, that's not only bred within US society, but certainly encouraged amongst identical twins - the more I dissolved myself into these cliches of young male stardom, the more I felt ashamed of them. I realised it wasn't an accurate reflection of myself. It was also so expected. I went to university and had the ability to understand why I was acting the way I was. My brother and I took a step away and saw both edges of the sword of young success and considered the aspects of it that we liked and disliked - it gave us an ability to feel proud of certain parts, while ashamed of others. We desired certain aspects of the industry again, and I know I wanted to serve as a good role model. I had interpreted the pursuit of education as one of those areas that were so unexpected of young actors and also very respectable as a choice, that it seemed like the most logical next step for me. But I hated myself for a long, long time - probably from the age of 13 to 20.

That's a long time. Why did you hate yourself? I was really disappointed in my station, and part of arrogance is a disgust of self - I think part of child stardom is also a disgust of self. I hated myself, because I had an image of myself that was different from what everyone else thought. It's the child stardom issue, which a lot of people lose themselves to. It's the same thing my brother and I could have lost ourselves to, and that many of our peers deal with in complicated ways. When you're so young and given even a modicum of success, you're constantly being reassured of the longevity of it, so when you come to see its inherently fickle nature, you start to blame yourself tremendously. Mixed with your own self-identity and coming to terms with a version of yourself that's different from that of the public, I think it's a petri dish of self-loathing. What I was experiencing was in no way different than what my brother was experiencing or what any of the other kids I knew were experiencing, but we came out of it. We questioned it.

With the success of 'Riverdale', how has this impacted you? The fanaticism has changed. The nature of social media and the validation that comes from it has changed the way people interact with individuals who are sold as public commodities.

And also, social media now puts you back in power. That's been great, but the nature of fanaticism has in my experience been different. People are much quicker to grab, touch and expect. Perhaps this is because people are much ore exposed to me now as a human being and the work I'm doing through social media. When people come up to me they feel like they know me to a much greater degree, and it eliminates their caution in crossing a line with questioning or understanding what should in my opinion be a shared human experience regardless of profession. I have an enormous respect for my fans, because they've been there for me when I wasn't working, and since I was a child - and for the greater part of my career, they've treated me with more respect, caring and understanding than I frankly believe I deserve. I think I understand, to a much greater degree, that this kind of fanaticism is something you really need to take good care of. The success of the show is wonderful and validating. Shamefully enough, it has been validating, because I'd like to say I'm more independent and I don't do it for the feeling of validation. The truth is that when you leave a character with real humal emotion and people take to it and resonate with it, that's a good feeling as an actor, because it means that it's working. If people are asking how much of this is you, that's when you know you've played your part right. I have appreciated the success so much, because I know what it was like when I wasn't acting and I wasn't receiving that kind of resonance - I know what it looks like without it and now I know what it looks like with it. I've always very much enjoyed acting when I'm actually playing the part and working, and I've always had a profound disagreement with the other aspects of the industry, which is the appearances and the keeping up of these sort of more fanciful, more masturbatory sides to the industry.

We talked about your joy of escaping into nature. Is this still important for you? Yes, I call it escapism, and I think it affects every part of my life. My love of thrusting myself into a more reduced lanscape or social experience, was caused by me being paranoid about feeling watched as a child. I'm now starting to feel that again with a renewed kind of fervour, and for those reasons, something like meditation, a passion or something you can lose yourself to for a few moments, is really fundamental to ground yourself and stay present within the industry.

Do you meditate? A little bit. I'd love to meditate more often. I think one of the keys to acting is your ability to stay present within that space for an extended period of time, and the nature of meditation is the construction of a presentness that becomes your currency as someone who is playing a role, so meditation is one of the greatest tools in the box when it comes to acting.

I can recommend a two-day silent retreat at a Buddhist monastery. I recently attended one for the first time. Oh, awesome, that's great. If I had some time here in Vancouver I would be doing that. Growing ip in the States we have a really complicated relationshp with silence, and silence is one of those things that I've had a very hard time with. It wasn't until I had worked overseas in France that I had come to a definition of silence that wasn't necessarily awkward. I was doing archaeology over there and we would have dinner in silence every night and simply be left to our own thoughts. As an actor, silence is a place where you can build the most character development and details, so as an actor it also becomes the currency.

This brings me to the next question, which is about noise. I think there is so much of it in today's society. Talk to me about noise, Cole. When I think of noise, I think of white noise - something that sometimes dissolves your rain of thought, which can be a dangerous thing. When we're left alone to our devices and forced to think in silence, and we're subjected to our own voice in blaring volumes - we learn the most about ourselves. I find myself turning to social media and noise when I don't want to think. Whilst the meditation that can come from that noise can be good, we have to balance it with experiences in which we're subjected to out own voice of thoughts. Again, it goes back to escapism for me. When I go into the woods or I sit in the prairie - it becomes a space that allows me to think. This really has been my therapy for years. Every time you dissolve yourself into a more serene landscape, you reflect in some small or great way, which is why I think it's so important.

Since we last talked to you, your Instagram has more than doubled, giving you even more of a powerful voice. Yes, but to be honest, social media is very illusionary to me. I use my Instagram as a gallery space, but I don't take social media too seriously. For me, to get all heady about follower counts or use it as an accurate form of currency or validation of self is a slippery slope. I think only a small percentage of those people are actually engaging, listening and watching the content.

[lonespektr]

Starting back Vikings again randomly........

blue eyes still hasn't fucked that priest

When's he gonna bang the priest, he doesn't like his new wife 🤷🏾‍♀️

Rollo needs a win/ cmon lady archers

Stop listening to random men, every main character gets bad advice from randos

Very deliberate word choice

Blue eyes is do butthurt his boyfriend is not coming with him priest is literally staying for you, you blockhead

Men are idiots

Tomgirls trying to sit still and look pretty when they clearly want to punch people

They keep using attempted rape for her power ups and they could do literally anything else

Glad the mrs is back

She's worried about jr but it looks like he can fight brother still absolutely in love with the mom cause she's a bad bitch

But he would have cheated too soo 🤷🏾‍♀️

He's big but it doesn't look like he hits hard, he's moving frantically, he doesn't lean into his hits??

The bows are used in short range i feel like it's that accurate??!!

Nobody is hyped the mrs is home and i feel like that was a wasted opportunity

Priest is attracted to bad people

Everybody got a shower

Who ever is subing the sound effects is a fucking poet Every grunt has a adjective

Always gotta upstage your brother just fukkkin relax

He's rejected the sacrament dunt dun dun!!!

Cheese and crackers woman how many boys you churnin out

What's the science? Boys are faster swimmers so short vagina?? I forget

She's gloating

Yea no shit. He don't even like that other future telling bitch

Rollo just stick with old girl u are bad at politics

This is a very sexual prayer priest

You tryina get what by the holy spirit??!! Save that for blue eyes

Thorvard big as fuck

That boy ain't got no right being that big his parents is normal sized

If i wanted to say it in private i wouldn't fucckkin come down to long house

Who's fuckkin army is that , just her homies?? She got warrior homies?

Ah she just wanted to threaten the general community that if anything happen to hey son it's they ass

Yea those'r just her homies

Another sexual assault threat but in an unexpected turn is events his kinsman ain't down with that shit and backed her

Infamous wings pf the vikings

More sexual assault threats

Whoever is writing these subtitles is a fucking legend

Priest new boyfriend is in wooing his old boyfriend's ex wife and he has to be an awkward translator

Wack what a serious waste of ambition

Them two rando little boys already died they really gotta take the one bitch was leadership vibes

She threw away throne thrown for dinner snot nose kids

He play too much, but they are great together

Preist done diddled that brown hair plain and not blue eyes

Vikings does appear to have a strict all rapists must die policy (marital rape excluded- even that's appears to have consequences)

Surprised they let siggs go but i think she landed a better role, shes a bigger actor then all em

I still don't know which god he was supposed to be. Guess i gotta brush up on my norse history

What's rollo gonna go without his political advisor

That guy coulda had a bigger role but this was 6+years ago and he was not as big then so..makes sense

Preist talking shit about women knowin damn well he just left a perfectly boring one to be with sky eyes

Hypocrisy , ungrateful ass volunteer to help the mother of your child

Screw everybody and they mama, leave yo wife month at a time with no backup booty

Why you only slept with yo wife once? 🤨

Seer tied of yo ass

Sky eyes just move to Paris with the preist

They are doing a sharp turn with him that is uncharacteristic, they haven't done a power corruption thing or anything to transition him from opportunist to greed

Also wtf boo /This is your earldom ??? You just gon stand there?

Still holding with the rapist get stitches law

Burning cross bit heavy handed

Bjorn tell your wack ass absentee father to back your mom

Yea we have been here before, cause your dad keeps fucckin up, you forget last time you left with her cause you knew he was wrong

Blue eyes has become a kind of apathetic shell without preist and wifee no1

Um wtf was that with the 👀

Just fuck already

Can the women have a story not around babies

Where rollo headed?

This is evidence of a turning point we should have gotten a half step before this

Except she was taking care of the one kid you ignore and you know damn well that priss don't do no work and her servants watch her kids anyway

Lol whut person or persons unknown, but you have evidence?

King got plans on plans on plans

Do they just not know what to do with the preist anymore??

Hey least he said it

That was the least intimate interaction he's had with anyone

Disrespect on disrespect

I think they are going to do something stupid with her 🙄 looking forward to that

Woah full stop yikes 😬

Another unforced error. I knew they were gon do some dumb shit with her, no he actin stupid too

This really there seasons about an unrequited love story

It gets boring when the main character is white male tyrannical and off his rocker - when he's not a zealot

Mentally ill opportunist are not very complelling

I'm annoyed blondie is really confessing to a man who has been treating her like shit for the past decade because a first good decade

Unforced errors and making her stupid is something shows love to do with women

But they gave her so much pride it doesn't make sense

I thought maybe they all knew, but it's just bjorn

Blue eyes was hoping for a confession

Why do you tear me away from myself

Trojan horse is the only thing that ever made sense with impregnable walls even with that hint he still couldn't figure it out, he had to almost die

Rollo is out here now? Why doing what?

I mean tbh is a really good idea to get away from your brother

Oh so the King isn't a complete idiot, just a coward

Another betray your brother situation 🙄

Just let rollo needs live

All our protagonists are isolated

He still didn't get that confession

Oh he just said it

What was the point of that Christian coming to visit?

Lit of obsessive unhealthy male relationships

Floki/Ragnar

Althestan/Ragnar

Ragnar/ rollo

How would rollo even convince the remaining vikings to go against their own

Now we must be subjected to this embarrassment

Co Earls, this guy is a not confused about his endgame

He should have just married her when she asked

There is one asian

If this the season where the non whites enter? They should have done that in Paris

He's an absentee father but he's annoyed his kids are stupid

Floki bb hella cute

It's odd the show has isolated everyone

He's such as gaslighter

The only stable relationship is the ones between the mentally unstable people

The two best pairings were both uneccesairly antagonistic towards each other

What's rollo doing

Le sigh she's smiling because she thinks he backed her , finally someone did she deserves to be supported

But he only backs himself

Time inside learning could be useful for him

Even rollo is not this stupid soooo 🤷🏾‍♀️

Blue eyes mad that his wife doesn't give a shit about him, knowing damn well he don't give a shit about her

Rollo 👏🏾 isn't 👏🏾 stupid👏🏾

He also wouldn't ally himself with strangers 🤷🏾‍♀️ it's a repeat pattern of making the wrong allies but this don't make sense

Hopefully bjorn gets more interesting

Or another woman character not attached to a damn man comes in

1 poc is already gettin eyeballed by ol blue eyes

What old lady would be concerned with getting revenge on is wessex king who raised her new settlement to the ground

There's that projection again blue eyes

The rollo situation is getting close to puppy punching

He looses his accent a lot

Blue eyes has odd codependencies

Man has no loyalists but strong affections that look like loyalty from afar

Why are they all obsessed with this fucking guy

Predatory men who pretend to be small and unassuming to trick women

She choked those words out, I wonder how many takes they made her do before they went with that one

This descent into madness isn't nearly as entertaining as they think

That's the first time he's called her by her first name

Curious move bjorn /curious situation they pulled moms into

They make women look stupid by having them smiling the whole time while men who are being equally deceived look suspiciously but they are tricked just the same

Once again he just identifies foreigners as roadmaps to conquer new lands

Gaslighter all these men are gaslighters

All these braids and this is the first time i've seen one of the man brushing they hair

It's going to be four full seasons of wounded mentally ill drug addicted blue eyes??

there it is, that was his dream, not the crazed ambitions of winning for winnings sake

Opportunistic and talented or rather lucky is different than tyrannical and that's what they are playing him as with no foundation

I know she tired of these dirty whites raggety ass wash rags she want a real bath with soap

Random edge play over the top hair cutting symbolism

That bb old enough too...ok

The girls were ready. And he even ain't mad because she told him straight up she was going to kill him

She doesn't want to remarry, she's better boss ass bitch but it's fucked up she can't just have a decent man partner and equal but these men are trifling they may as well get her a girlfriend

Is the seer dead?

It's 13 right?

Heavy handed women freedom theme happening