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snowylupus · 3 months ago

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🐺 My Therianthropy and Me 🐺

I thought it would be interesting to write down how I view myself as a Therian. If you'd like to read, then check out the rest of this post below!

I identify with Therianthropy as it's defined here, which is a person who experiences being and identifies as a non-human animal on an integral, personal level.

I don't see myself as anything but wolf; however, I still accept and understand that my physical body is human.

»»-----------► My Awakening 🐺

My first realization that I was different is when I was between the ages of 6 and 12. Just like most kids from my generation, I loved playing 'animals'. I'd group up with others on the playground and we would all pretend to be different animals, interacting and running around like animals would. For me, I always chose to be a wolf. It didn't feel like 'acting' and it felt freeing. I felt extreme happiness being a wolf. Yet, as we all got older, the other kids grew out of pretending and I didn't change. I kept having urges, instincts, 'feelings' that I couldn't form into words but knew made me different from everyone else.

At first I was scared. I grew up in a very 'cult-like' religious household where mostly everything that wasn't associated with God or the Church was considered the Devil. Freedom of expression was non-existent and I was terrified that I was possessed by some demon. So for a while, I tried to deny what I felt, but it never went away.

By the time I did reach 12, I started to accept that whatever was happening to me was real and I needed to find out what. Sadly, I didn't really have anyone to talk to so it took me a while to figure things out. Luckily, when I turned 13, my parents finally got me my first computer and Dial-Up internet. That's when I used the internet to search for what I could be.

I didn't get far at first, coming across things like werewolves and shifters, some old Native Indingenous tales, and European myths. I almost had given up until, finally, I discovered the term therianthropy.

Come 2010, when I was nearing 14, I finally found out what I was - a therian. I searched and searched, studied hard to find all I could about this new term. It was hard considering I had to do it either late at night or when my parents weren't home, but eventually, I learned enough to be confident in my identity. I joined a site or two to try and talk to more therians, but most were adults and it was hard to find connections. Thankfully, a few older therians talked with me and gave me some more insight as to what being a therian was. When I told them about myself, they only confirmed it more for me. Come 2011, I joined my first ever 'pack'. It was more like a upport network for therians, animal-people and those who otherwise identify as partially non-human or animalistic. But for me, it became a home, a family of others who guided me and helped me with my self-discovery.

That's more or less how I awoken. From what I now know as mental shifts as a kid to joining my first therian site, to now as an older therian, that was my whole experience.

»»-----------► Being a Wolf 🐺

Reading newer terms today, I find it necessary to explain how I identify with the Therian term.

It's mostly a spiritual aspect, though I do acknowledge some psychological reasoning behind it. I feel mostly, though, that I'm a wolf because my soul is a wolf. I connect myself with my soul, one in the same, and I am inhabiting a human body. Therefore, I'm a wolf in a human body, experiencing and living life like humans do. I don't know why I came to reincarnate as a human as I don't really experience much in terms of past life memories - minus some flashback images, triggered scents, and heart pulls when looking at certain landscapes/nature images.

For me personally, being a wolf and being human is a balance. I feel, as a therian, one should combine the two aspects of themselves for they are both part of who you are. That's what I do, anyways, and it makes life easier to comprehend when species dysphoria gets in the way. By reminding myself that it's a gift to be doing what most wolves can't, I'm able to let go of the sadness that comes with missing my original form. That's not to say I don't miss it; often my species dysphoria can climb to dark heights, but it's rare now. My phantom limbs help me a lot, too, being able to feel my ears and tail, claws, sharp canines, muzzle, and even fur in the colder temperatures.

╰┈➤ ❝ [Discovering My Theriotype] ❞ When I did discover I was a therian, canine naturally came with it. I always acted canine like as a kid, around our dogs, and it felt so natural. Yet when I was first asked what my theriotype was, I couldn't answer. Dog didn't feel right at all, not even close, but I didn't know how to figure it out. After talking with other therians at the time, and after trying out their methods of full body phantom shifts, I quickly was able to make a short list.

At first, I thought I was a coyote. My howls were high pitched some times, I yipped, and I liked the environment I was in (I was born in raised in South Louisiana). Soon, though, I noticed some therian characteristics that just didn't match. My next thought was then wolf. As soon as I thought it, I felt a tug, a pull. Like someone inside was saying 'yes'.

As I looked into them more, I found myself no longer 'thinking' but 'feeling' that I was a wolf. I no longer said "my theriotype is a wolf" but instead, "I am a wolf".

After I confirmed wolf, it was even harder trying to distinguish what species of wolf. There were so many. I had some therians tell me it didn't matter, that I was a wolf and I didn't need to know anything further. I wanted to know, though, because of course Mexican wolf didn't fit, I hate the heat. Despite loving swimming, I wasn't a Coastal wolf as I didn't like eating fish that much. I felt drawn to mountains, to wide open plains, thick pine forests, and I loved venison meat. I also noted that I loved colder weather, I thrived in it. I couldn't stand hot summers; still can't. My phantom fur was just too thick to be capable of withstanding hotter temperatures. When I took all of that into account, I discovered two types of wolves I could be: the Arctic Wolf and the Tundra Wolf.

Some people might say they're the same wolf, but that's not true. The Arctic Wolf lives only in the Arctic Circle while the Tundra Wolf ranges further down and can be found throughout Northern Europe and Asia from Northern Finland to the Kamchatka Peninsula, from the far north of Russia into the Arctic. I studied those two wolves for a few months, gauging which I felt closest to.

Finally, after realizing the Arctic was too far north in landscapes I didn't feel connected to, I discovered I was a tundra wolf!

Anyways, that's me as a therian! I kind of rambled in some places and didn't really have a layout for this post; just sort of typed what I thought.

To sum it all up into a simple statement; I am wolf and wolf I always will be.

#snowy howls #greymuzzle #wolf therian #wolfkin #wolf theriotype #canine therian #therian blog #therian community #nonhuman

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annepsilvaauthor · 2 years ago

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Fighter Weapons — Chapter 12

Pairing(s): Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x OC (Claire Mitchell) / Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Natasha "Phoenix" Trace

Summary: An untold story. A series that shows what happened during the Top Gun of our beloved pilots of Top Gun: Maverick.

Warnings: Subtle sexual innuendos, brief language, alcohol consumption, angst, smut, fluffy.

Word Count: 5.239

The darlings who don't want to miss any updates ↪️ @missathlete31 @togetherisawonderfulplacetobe @switch3rr @na0my @aprilwithapricots @goldenloverschild @rightwhereiwantyou @jackiequick @oliviah-25 @bellyliveslife @anerdquemoraaolado @callsign-barbell @struggling-with-space

FIGHTERTOWN, USA

Hangman walked through the hangar facilities with his mind swarming with thoughts. He didn't understand how in a single day he could have such upheavals of feelings. He lived those hours like he was on a roller coaster and he hated roller coasters.

He had planned to enjoy a quiet day at the beach. Maybe surf a little, or just hang out with Coyote over a few beers. An ordinary day in the life of a fighter pilot. However, everything started to unravel as soon as he arrived at The Hard Deck. His sister called to once again insist that he attend her parents' event, but he was resolute.

Then it was his own mother's turn to call and he didn't answer. He couldn't. He wouldn't be able to answer. His hurt and disappointment were still too great for that. He wasn't sure if talking to her would end up taking all of his anger out in words or a childish cry. Both options were terrible to happen to him.

Hangman learned to guard his emotions from an early age, as people didn't care about that or what he said. Being ignored his entire life changed him in layers so deep, he couldn't say if he'd ever be able to get through them all. It was much easier to put on a mask and move on, after all, that's the way the world was. No one really cares about anything but themselves, so why should he?

That thought of his clashed with Phoenix's attitudes that day. He knew he could have gone a little overboard with her and Rooster, even Claire and he totally understood the anger towards him. He expected that. What he didn't expect was a succession of affectionate acts coming from someone like Natasha Trace.

Hangman didn't know her for a long time. Not even. But he'd lived with her long enough to understand that Phoenix was a strong, determined woman who took good care of her friends. She had a hard, earnest look. And he was pretty sure she could be vindictive. He expected that from her whenever he teased her and Storm. But not. For some reason, she thought him worthy of being petted, of being soothed.

He didn't understand. He has never seen anything like this. He was her rival, her adversary, at times even her enemy, but she took care of him anyway. With each call from his mother, he felt more awash in hurt. The memories of her words, the laughter, the pain all came back as soon as he saw her face on the screen. And Phoenix noticed. Fuck, she realized. He spent years of his life hiding behind masks, but she came and found him. She saw him. It was irritating and comforting at the same time.

Spending that afternoon with her was the last thing on his plans, but it became the most essential in the face of what he felt about the phone calls. He loved the way she never backed away from a good game and confrontation. Hangman noticed the twinkle in those beautiful black eyes every time the match got tough and he couldn't help but smile in satisfaction. At that point, they were equal. Two crazy people for the adrenaline of a good competition.

As much as he considered himself a hunter by nature, Hangman had never been involved with any professional colleague. He even flirted with a few, but simply because he couldn't help it. He liked to flirt with everyone. But with them Hangman always took a step back. He recognized that they were pilots like him and anyone else. They deserved respect like everyone else. They deserved to be there as much as he did.

However, with Phoenix it was being different. He continued to flirt even after finding out that she was a pilot too just to tease her. But as he watched her fly, received her direct responses and competed with her, Hangman didn't continue for the simple pleasure of seeing her angry, but because he was genuinely attracted to her.

Phoenix was physically different from all of his ex-girlfriends. He could be said to be a fan of short blondes and he didn't remember being attracted to any woman who deviated from that pattern. But she came. Hangman tried to hide it, but it was in vain. He loved her black waves, as well as those bright eyes and small nose. He loved the way she stood up to him. He loved that smile. And after seeing her in a bikini, he loved her curves. Phoenix was a very attractive woman and very interesting too. And he couldn't hold back. He wanted her. A lot.

He had considered stealing a kiss from her since the day he saw her at the bar in Lemoore and it was getting harder and harder to obey his own rule about not getting involved with professional colleagues. He tried very hard, but each time she passed, he couldn't look away. Phoenix, even wearing the standard uniform and with her hair tied back tightly, still attracted a lot of attention. And he wanted the pleasure of sinking his fingers into that soft-looking hair and kissing that feline mouth. He imagined it several times, in several different ways and saw that he might have a chance on the bet they had made. But he lost.

And he lost her again when Rooster took her away. They were having fun together at the bar, they had shared certain opinions and certainties about life and spent the whole day together. It was a day of rest and truce. They were finally getting along. And Rooster showed up to ruin everything. Hangman didn't accept that Rooster was using Phoenix to forget Claire or replace her. Phoenix was more than that, she deserved more. However, whenever he called, she was there with him and left Hangman right away.

It was all very new between them, but Hangman felt a confidence growing there. She was the only one who was seeing him and, after years, he wanted to find someone who understood him without needing words to do so. There was only one thing in life that Hangman wasn't good at: expressing feelings in words. And with Phoenix he didn't have to. She saw him.

He felt betrayed seeing Rooster and Phoenix together at the bar and hurt when she insulted him like that. He was just protecting her from impending drama and she shooed him away. With that, she made him return with the mask and feel terrible all over again.

Hangman arrived at the male dormitory and was surprised when he saw the door of his room open. He approached there observing a backpack on the floor and a man lying on the bed next to his. He wore all black clothes with heavy fabric and boots. His tattooed arms were supporting the back of his head as he looked up at the ceiling with a satisfied smile on his face. A crumpled dog tag was sticking out of his shirt and the man he knew very well looked down at Hangman. He immediately felt an icy chill run through his entire body.

“Well well well.” The pilot said with a sadistic smile. “Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin. What an honor to be among royalty.”

Hangman remained silent for a few seconds that felt like hours. Why was he there? How had he not been expelled from the Navy? Why was he back? How had he managed to get into Top Gun after what he'd done? Questions roamed the mind of an already disturbed Hangman and the man realized it. He had a black, icy gaze that saw the worst in someone. Hangman looked away from his.

“Ethan ‘Cobra’ Allen. Shouldn't you be expelled?” Hangman commented in the same tone as him.

Cobra let out a humorless laugh.

“I see the news has spread.” He looked back at the ceiling. “It's just bureaucracy.”

"Five people are just bureaucracies?"

Cobra turned his gaze to Hangman, this time a deadly one. He let out an icy smile.

"I thought you were a lone wolf. You're letting me down.”

“I act alone. I sacrifice myself for others. I don't kill them…”

Before Hangman could finish his sentence, Cobra got up from the bed and charged towards him as fast as a fighter jet. He stopped very close to his face demonstrating that he was a few centimeters taller. Hangman felt the impact of that approach, but he forced himself to remain still. He didn't want to show that Cobra's mere gaze made him fearful.

“Be very careful when you finish that sentence.” He threatened, still smiling.

“Or what? Are you going to do to me what you did to those pilots?”

“Who knows?”

Hangman swallowed hard.

“I’m not afraid of you.”

“Oh. You should be.”

Cobra held a slashing gaze on Hangman who remained motionless in defiance. However, Hangman's desire was not to spend another minute near that pilot. Just looking at him, he felt a dark and malevolent energy. Cobra exuded danger from his pores.

So Hangman didn't ask any more questions, after all he would never get the answers from him. Hangman entered the room and gathered his belongings. He wouldn't stay there while Cobra was there. He couldn't bear to be next to a murderer.

“We have more in common than you know, Seresin.” Cobra commented when he saw him leave the room.

Hangman didn't answer and headed to the break room, where he found them again. That time it was worse. They were in an intimate embrace in total silence in the middle of the night. Hangman felt his blood boil, but decided not to say anything. The situation with Cobra was troubling him enough.

[***]

Everyone gathered again in the hangar for another week in the much feared and desired Top Gun. Phoenix and Storm sat in the front row, with Hangman and Coyote on the opposite side, as usual. Rooster was a row behind Phoenix, alone, as he preferred to be. And everyone noted the presence of another member in the select list of pilots.

Porkus and Fungus were the first to see him walk between the rows, as they sat in the last seats. He walked confidently and calmly, aware that the other pilots were watching him. Sunglasses rested on his face, curved in a victorious but cold smile. He sat in the vacant chair next to Rooster, who frowned. The pilot just nodded.

"Good morning, pilots!"

Blade shouted from a podium in front of the huge American flag displayed in the hangar, drawing the attention of the pilots to him. The chief instructor seemed to be particularly uncomfortable that day, dropping his coolness and professional impartiality for a few seconds. That pilot's arrival might be getting to him too. However, Blade composed himself and concentrated on what he was supposed to do there.

“Today we will begin the second stage of elite training in this unit. In this phase, we will divide you into pairs to compete against each other. We want to take teamwork to the highest level.” Blade paused to look at each of the pilots and continued with a smug smile. “Starting today, the duo that does not score at least once will no longer be entitled to participate in the race for the title of Top TopGun.”

A silence hung for too long between the pilots, something Blade relished. Porkus and Fungus exchanged startled glances, as they were the only ones who hadn't scored yet. Phoenix and Storm shot each other measured looks, understanding the seriousness of this week but not dreading it. Hangman just smiled in enthusiasm at the challenge and Coyote didn't need to look back at his friend to know his reaction.

Rooster shifted in his chair and folded his hands on the table under the weight of that information and watched as his rowmate snorted as he sprawled across the chair, slouching far too relaxed in the seat.

"Did I say a joke, Cobra?" Blade asked professionally.

“No sir. I know you don't make jokes.” He replied in a too intimate tone for just a pilot and his instructor.

Blade looked at him as if he could shoot him right there in the seat and everyone noticed. Their chief instructor was an impenetrable stone, unshaken. At least that's what they thought.

Phoenix decided to turn her face towards him to find out who was the one driving Blade crazy. When contemplating a man with a loose smile behind her, she should feel empathy, since she loved someone who smiled like that. But not. She felt a certain heavy energy.

He lifted his sunglasses and gave her a wink, keeping his smile slack. Phoenix remained with a serious look without giving any reaction to that. She didn't want everyone to think they could do this to her. They didn't have that freedom, and they never would. Maybe, just... her gaze instinctively sought Hangman's.

To her surprise, he was already watching her, giving her an intense look that told her a lot and made her feel warm. Images from the night before raced through her mind and she imagined his was no different. However, the emeralds turned towards the pilot in defiance.

"Ahm..." a voice scratched from the back gaining the pilots' attention. “I think I speak for everyone when I say, who is this guy?”

A buzz spread through the students long enough to annoy the inspector and silence them with a call for silence. Blade sighed at the pilots' surprised expressions in his direction and opened his mouth to explain, but it wasn't necessary.

“Me? Oh.” The new student rose to his feet with satisfaction. “I'm the pilot whose name will be engraved on the wall.”

The reactions were varied. Some chuckled, some snorted, some threw glances as if to say "who does he think he is?", and others just stared at him suspiciously.

“Sit down.” Blade ordered firmly and the pilot considered disobeying, but finally sat down. “Students, this is Lieutenant Ethan Allen. Codename, Cobra. He will be part of Top Gun starting today.”

"But it's not fair!"

"He missed a week!"

“We got here first."

"What's so special about him?"

Comments flew all over the place, making Blade impatient. In the second row, Cobra was amused to see the uproar he caused. Chaos fed him.

“Silence! You're just pilots, you don't get paid to question!” The instructor shouted firmly making everyone shut up. “Lieutenant Allen will be with us until further notice. Now... let's go to the doubles.”

As Blade divided up the pairs on the large whiteboard at the front of the room, the pilots still hadn't given up. In their minds there were questions about that new student and he didn't want to explain anything. Cobra was amused by their confusion. A confused enemy was easier to defeat.

After the pairs were chosen, the pilots left for the flight line with the necessary uniforms and equipment. Rooster was walking along the track when he was overtaken by hurried steps, but the figure soon stopped in front of him. Cobra chewed on a cereal bar for a while until Rooster got tired and spoke impatiently:

“Can I help you?”

“You know, I've heard a lot about you. The great Bradley Bradshaw. The youngest pilot to be chosen for Oceana, the largest naval base in the country.” He chewed some more. “You are a legend.”

"Should I feel bad for not knowing who you are?"

As much as Cobra was praising him, Rooster sensed something else in his tone. It looked like dissimulation and coldness. He usually didn't jump to conclusions about anyone, he preferred to get to know them first. But not in that case. Cobra didn't seem like a nice person.

“Oh, I don't care about that.” He grimaced. “I just want to do my job. I don't need that much recognition.”

“Hmm. That in the hangar was pure humility, wasn't it?” Rooster mocked.

Cobra's smile faded, but he quickly resumed it, chuckling and smacking Rooster on the arm.

"It was just to fend off the stares. Us pilots can be pretty arrogant don't you think?”

“What I think is that we should focus on today's training.”

“Sure, sure. You are the man.” He saluted and handed him the cereal bar.

“No thanks. I'm allergic to peanuts.”

Cobra saw Rooster's impatient look and decided to walk away, but threw him a smile before heading to his fighter.

On the other side of the flight line, Phoenix was fiddling with the gears in her F-18, analyzing whether everything was really ready for a competition. Inside the fighter was Storm, who marked a "check" on the list before takeoff.

“Turbines. Check. Flight equipment. Check. Vomit bag. Check.” She read aloud for Phoenix to hear downstairs. "How are the calipers?"

“Almost there!”

Phoenix kept tinkering with wires and gears, that being the second best thing about being a fighter pilot. She loved getting her hands dirty and fixing her own plane and she used her knowledge beyond the Academy. Phoenix had a degree in Mechanical Engineering and any piece of metal excited her.

She was turning a key when she noticed him beside her, standing like a Greek statue with his hands in the pockets of his flight suit and the tiniest smile on his face. Phoenix watched him sideways, wanting to get rid of the sensations in her body before turning to face him.

“Need help?” he asked in the smug tone wanting to piss her off.

“No. I know what I am doing.” She swallowed what she really wanted to say and went on with her work. He remained there. "Aren't you going to check your fighter?"

"I need to check on something more important."

Phoenix finally turned her face towards him meeting those tender eyes and that annoying smile. He was fully attired, his hair impeccable, showing no sign of the gale it had been hours before. If it weren't for that sparkle in the emeralds, she could tell Hangman was an unshakable man. But he wasn't. At least, not with her. Phoenix smiled inwardly.

"You don't look too bad for someone who slept on the couch."

"Was that a compliment?" he asked with a raised eyebrow and that smug smile.

“Think what you like.” She disdained.

“You know very well that it was not the sofa that stirred my sleep." he teased with a smirk.

“Oh, sure. Could have been the flight line lights.” she dissembled with a mocking expression.

“Of course, a light black haired one."

Hangman approached with his eyes steady on hers, unable to look away. Those emeralds looked beautiful in the sunlight. He stopped inches from her body and, again, she would pull away, ignore it, as she would anyone else. But she didn't. Damn it! Why did his presence affect her so much? No. She needed to put a stop to this.

"If you've come to talk about yesterday…" She started, preparing to push him away again, but he cut her off.

“Not now, my angel.” He gave her a long look as if he wanted to memorize every detail of her face and held out a hand to the fighter, supporting it on the bodywork. His expression changed to seriousness. “I need you not to do anything risky up there today.”

“What? Did I hear right? You're asking someone to be predictable...are you?” She let out a humorless laugh. "You know we're a team, right?"

“Yes I know. Do you know who we're training against?”

“Rooster and that cocky pilot.” She threw a 'you think I'm stupid?' look. "Do you want to lose, by any chance?"

He made a face.

“Me either.” she continued. “Then don't ask me to.”

“If you don't want to do what I say, then do it for Storm.”

Phoenix pulled away from the fighter and stared at him deeply with her arms crossed. Hangman expressed calm and cleverness in his arguments and tone of voice, but those eyes couldn't lie. Not for her. That mountain of muscle and ego wasn't right.

"Are you going to tell me what's going on or am I going to figure it out myself?"

“Is nothing. It's just strategy.” He looked away from her.

“No, we both know Rooster plays in the realm of the obvious. If we go to this game, we will be defeated.”

“Rooster is not the problem.”

“Oh. So it's Cobra that the big Hangman is afraid of?”

“I told you before that I'm not afraid of anything or anyone." he reminded firmly.

“It's not what it looks like. Have you ever seen him fly?”

“Yes, unfortunately.” He sighed, leaning against the stairs that gave access to the fighter.

“And...?”

“Just do what I asked, Phoenix.”

"Of course, and leave all the honors of victory to you, eh? Forget it, Bagman.” She raised her voice a little. “I didn't get this far because I fought the obvious. That's not me. And today isn't going to be any different just because you're scared of a smug guy!”

“Okay, that's right. Do not do. Be the daring and unpredictable Phoenix against a pilot with no love for the lives of others. Just don't say I didn't warn you!”

“Message given.” She looked at him defiantly and he handed it back. How easy the transition between malice and hatred was with them!

“See you in the sky.”

Phoenix watched him walk away and when she didn't see him anymore she finally got her breathing right again. What was his problem anyway? Since he had arrived he defended boldness and belittled the obvious with nails and teeth and suddenly changed his speech. What was so special about that rookie that made Hangman fear?

“What did he want?” Storm asked when Phoenix sat in the booth across from her.

"Annoy me, as usual."

“Moment with Bagman. Check.”

"Did you really put this on the list?" she asked turning her face towards her friend.

“I put everything that happens regularly. And... when he comes you get angry and with anger you drive even better.”

“So you think I always need to have a moment with him before I fly.”

Storm smirked and winked. Phoenix didn't need more words to know her answer. She looked back forward and smiled. She actually drove better when angry. And that day, he had once again managed to piss her off.

"We're gonna beat this shit."

“That's it Girl!” Storm cheered as she put on her helmet.

[***]

The sun lit up the blue, cloudless San Diego sky, giving the competitors plenty of space and excitement. Rooster led the pair, while Cobra was his wingman. They pointed the jets' noses down in a dive, flying side by side at five thousand feet outlined against the blue Pacific.

From a distance, two more fighters watched them. They looked helpless. They had already been flying over for twenty minutes without finding them or, at least, without trying, since Hangman did not guide his ward to strategic places. He looked like he wanted to hide.

Phoenix was finding her rival—now leader—too quiet. Not that she preferred all that ego in the form of words or having him explain the plan, because she knew he wouldn't. But...he looked very serious and tense. She could hear his heavy breathing through the communicator and there was no sign of any offhand comments. He wasn't being Hangman.

“Two to seven o'clock, Phoenix. Floating.” Hangman warned through the communicator.

"Understood. Taking the left.”

Rooster and Cobra noticed the presence of fighters on the opposite side.

“Holy shit, there they are. Hangman is here.” Rooster informed preparing a maneuver.

“Great! He's probably saying, ‘Holy shit, it's Rooster and Cobra!’

“Of course it is.” He mocked.

The planes split. Rooster charged to the left, chasing Phoenix, and Cobra to the right, covering him. Phoenix made a strong vertical move, but Rooster stayed on her heels.

"Focus on her! Sign the maneuvers!” Cobra ordered.

“Hey! Hangman at three o'clock!” Rooster watched on his radar. "Coming too fast!"

Cobra glanced quickly at the three o'clock and saw Hangman's F-18 returning to the fight. He pushed the stick to the right, and the two planes made a quick pass.

"I lost him!" Hangman reported to Phoenix.

“I'm a little busy right now.” She warned giving curves and more curves in the sky. "Need cover?"

“No. Take down Rooster...I'll take care of Cobra.”

“I can hear you, you know?” Rooster called on the shared communicator.

Phoenix managed to reverse the zigzag by getting behind Rooster, after a moment of his lack of concentration. He was now hotly pursued by Phoenix.

"I'll focus on the pilot! Rooster, you're on your own now.” Cobra informed.

“I need cover, Cobra. Mutual support, man!”

“I'll get him, man.” He was smiling under his mask, vibrating with the adrenaline of being able to fly again.

“Do not be greedy. Back me up!”

"I want Hangman!"

Cobra lunged vertically, taking the plane straight overhead. He looped the F-18 down to get a clear angle on the opponent. Hangman took off, running away from the fight again. Cobra looked over his shoulder and saw that Rooster still hadn't been hit. Then, he lunged hard to the right and flew towards Hangman.

Hangman dashed through the sky with Cobra close behind. He pushed the throttle forward, activating the afterburner fully. He showed many of his tricks... left, right, rolling vertically, launching into a dive. And Cobra was still on his trail.

Cobra turned to put Hangman in the crosshairs. He heard an alarm on his radar and communicator but ignored it. Phoenix was busy with Rooster far away. Cobra managed to put him in the box, just aim...

“Careful! At three o'clock! Nine o'clock! Get away!” Rooster was screaming into his communicator as he was brushed aside by Phoenix, who charged towards Cobra.

Hangman managed to get rid of his aim and reversed positions, leaving Cobra in the middle of the crossfire.

"Last words, Cobra!" Storm teased.

Cobra widened his eyes, stunned by the shared maneuver. If he stayed there he was going to get hit. Leaving wasn't an option either, as he would still be within their crosshairs. There was only one option left.

Cobra dove towards the sea and aimed his weapon upwards. A real weapon. Bait and bombs left the plane's compartments in search of Phoenix.

"Fuck that...!" she cursed in surprise.

“Phoenix!” Hangman roared into the communicator.

Phoenix lunged heavily to the left, but that wasn't fast enough. The baits blinded her and the bombs hit one of the turbines. She tried to revive the fighter activating some controls in the cabin, but it was not enough.

“What the hell is that?!” Rooster asked dazedly into the sky as he approached them. “Phoenix!

"We need to eject." Storm warned calmly, as she didn't intend to pass out in despair.

“I still can…” Phoenix was pressing buttons and controls all over the place trying to save the plane.

Alarms beeped in the cockpit on all screens and red lights flashed. Their hearts raced as well as the alerts, their breathing failed, their chests desperate. The turbines completely failed and they began to lose altitude. Phoenix clamped her lips together in tension, still hopeful of resolving the situation.

"Phoenix, eject!" Rooster said into the communicator, his voice muffled by his sneering ears.

“Don't play heroine now, please.” Hangman's voice came out in pleading, as if it were just a thought aloud.

They lost more and more altitude and Phoenix understood that she had lost. She had no choice. She gave Storm a signal and the two ejected from the plane in moments before it exploded into the air.

Pieces of the F-18 were thrown in all directions and a strong hot light hit the pilots still flying over the sea. They watched as the two seats deployed their parachutes, and soon the two pilots were flying through the smoke-clouded sky.

[***]

"What the fuck was that?!” Rooster shouted to Cobra as he got out of the F-18.

“What?” He replied walking with a peaceful smile.

"Still asking what?" Rooster lunged at him and stopped him with a hand on his elbow, which Cobra quickly disengaged.

“Do not touch me!” he glared at him with dark eyes.

“Weapons are prohibited in training.”

“Oh, are they? I did not know that. A week late, sorry.”

"Don't come with that, dammit!" Rooster huffed in the middle of the flight line. “I know you're not that stupid. No weapons were ever allowed in training, neither at the Academy nor at Top Gun.”

"Fucking rule! What do they train us for then?” He opened his arms in a sweeping gesture. “On the battlefield real weapons are used.”

"You had no right! It was just training!” Rooster continued ignoring his arguments.

“I just defended myself.”

“You could be expelled for that.”

Cobra let out a slurred laugh and Rooster got even more enraged.

"Wait for it." Cobra patted the pilot twice on the shoulder and started walking again.

Rooster hadn't given up on that interrogation, but before he continued, a figure intrigued him. Hangman had landed his fighter a few minutes after them and was now walking down the flight line without his helmet on, his gaze fixed on the ground, sweat dripping from his nose and his hair in disarray, which he didn't care to fix.

Hangman walked past Rooster without saying a word or flashing that smug smile or cracking a joke. The pilot seemed immersed in agonizing thoughts, evidenced by the pain in his expression. Rooster recalled his actions in heaven. He didn't do any risky maneuvers or show off, he just tried to keep the fight as calm as possible, as if he feared something. That wasn't Hangman. Not by far. What was happening?

Rooster decided to leave that for later and invested in the direction of Cobra, who had already entered the hangar facilities. As he walked through the halls towards the locker rooms, Rooster saw her. For the first time since the elevator incident, he found her. And fuck. She was beautiful.

Claire walked elegantly through the halls wearing a white midi-length dress and a black leather jacket covering her thin arms, which carried some handouts. Her blond hair was slightly curled at the ends, touching her small ears. Her face curved into a tender, tiny smile. Enchanting. And she saw him.

Claire stopped her movement abruptly, her eyes widening a little at the sight of him. Rooster swallowed, feeling his heart race and forgot how to breathe. Her eyes were so intense, emotional. The world seemed to have stopped just to contemplate that meeting. He wanted to talk to her, wanted to explain everything, tell her everything, even though he didn't exactly know. He wanted to take her in his arms, wanted to kiss her until his lips ached. Rooster wanted her so badly.

However, the world not only started to spin again, it was falling apart. Rooster watched Cobra approach Claire and envelop her in a tight hug with silly hands on her bottom. And he kissed her hard.

Rooster's heart was ripped out of his chest.

#top gun maverick #monica barbaro #glen powell #natasha trace #jake seresin #hangman x phoenix #top gun phoenix #hangman #hannix #hannix drabble #miles teller #dianna agron #bradley bradshaw #bradley rooster bradshaw #bradley bradshaw x oc

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dandylion240 · 1 year ago

Note

ORIGINAL CHARACTER ASK MEME – PSYCHOLOGY EDITION #2 all questions please for both your bachelor doers, that my brain refuses to remember the name of.. please and thank you!

3: Does your OC struggle with any type of addictions?

No addictions.

4: How does your OC behave typically under severe stress?

He becomes hypersensitive and becomes easily offended when he's overly stressed. He'll try to isolate himself, spending hours locked inside his room. He's been known to delete all his social media sites feeling he's not good enough and that everyone would be better off if he disappeared.

5: What calms your OC down the best under severe stress?

If he has to do something that's causing him stress he needs to break the task down into bite size portions so it doesn't feel so overwhelming. Once he accomplishes one thing it bolsters his confidence to do the next thing and before he knows it the task is done and instead of being stressed he has a sense of accomplishment.

6: Does your OC have an unrealistic view of some area of their life or worldview?

He's always looking for his self identity and wants to be unique. He even gets upset if he thinks someone is trying to copy him or take credit for an idea he had.

7: What does your OC hate and like about themselves?

He hates that he tends to have a lot of negative thoughts and doubts his ability to accomplish his goals. But he also delights in thinking of himself as unique.

More under the cut

8: What does your OC hate and appreciate on others?

That people don't always understand him and what he does. They don't always see the artistic value in writing computer games and programming them.

9: What maladaptive behavioral models in your OC’s personality do they have to struggle with the most?

He has a tendancy to day dream a lot sometimes to the point where it interferes with his grip on reality. So if he's staring into outer space don't worry he's not staring at you but at the images in his own head.

11: What makes your OC feel most guilt in their life?

That he wasn't able to protect Ephy from being bullied at school. He tends to think if he was a better brother he'd have been able to prevent it.

12: Is your OC mature or immature for their age?

He appears to very mature but inwardly he's very immature.

13: How independent is your OC for their age and life situation?

Not independent at all. He says Ephy lives with him so that he can look at for Ephy but in reality Zeke would be lost without his brother.

14: Where and what from does your OC seek most typically comfort from?

He often feels not quite good enough or that he's broken in some way. So he seeks reassurance from those closest to him. Protecting Ephy helps him feel confident and less inept.

15: Is your OC afraid of confrontation or do they seek to lay things down on open?

He's really volitile. One moment he's afraid to express himself and the next he's pushing all your buttons to provoke you into action.

16: How openly does your OC show their emotions?

He's pretty good at expressing his emotions except for when he's feeling overwhelmed then he's apt to take offense at the slightest things especially if he feels it was unjust.

17: What does your OC do when they’re dealing with intense emotional pain?

Withdraw from everyone and everything.

18: What aspect of your OC’s personality or essence do other people usually have a problem with?

How sensitive he is.

20: Do other people have misconceptions about some parts of your OC’s personality?

He want's to be seen as unique so people sometimes think he should used to comments about how odd he is without realizing how upset it makes him.

21: How much of an attention seeker is your OC?

He'll say he's not an attention seeker but he also likes to be different.

22: Does your OC believe in something supernatural or not scientifically proven?

Definitely. You name and he believes it.

23: Does your OC have a criminal record?

No he does not.

24: Does your OC have any sexual deviances or kinks?

None at none that he's aware of as well he's pretty inexperienced.

25: How does your OC see their own value in comparison to other people?

Well he thinks of himself as having a piece missing or broken somehow. Yet he's also unique which makes him pretty special. So it depends upon his mood.

26: Does your OC live in self-denial about anything?

That he's more self reliant than Ephy. He'd say you were wrong if you told him that he depended on Ephy more than Ephy depended upon him.

27: What does your OC think about the concept of love?

Oh he can't wait to fall in love.

28: Is your OC loyal or more prone of take advantage of people close to them?

He's pretty loyal.

29: Is your OC wild/ reckless or do they tend to stay on the safe side inside their comfort zone?

He has an adventerous side once you convince him to leave his comfort zone. Not an easy task.

3: Does your OC struggle with any type of addictions?

He's addicted to life. He likes to have fun.

4: How does your OC behave typically under severe stress?

He deals with it by pretending it doesn't exist. He'll start a new hobby, join a club, read a book, watch a movie, throw a party. It doesn't matter what the activity is as long as he's too busy to think about the problem.

5: What calms your OC down the best under severe stress?

Someone who doesn't let him ignore the problem and helps him confront it.

6: Does your OC have an unrealistic view of some area of their life or worldview?

He focus on the positive things while burying the negative. So he often believes the best in everyone he meets and is genuinly shocked when someone turns out to be not as good as he thought they were.

7: What does your OC hate and like about themselves?

He has a curiosity to learn and he tries many things but he hates that he doesn't have the focus to actually get really good at anything. He's always bouncing from one thing to the next.

8: What does your OC hate and appreciate on others?

Oh he hates it when people assume he's not smart enough to do something. But he appreciates the few people who have the patience to actually show him how something is to be done and let him try it before making any judgements about him.

9: What maladaptive behavioral models in your OC’s personality do they have to struggle with the most?

That he buries any and all negative emotions focusing only on the positive leaving him wide open to being taken advantage of. He's really like a happy go lucky puppy.

11: What makes your OC feel most guilt in their life?

He feels bad that Zeke feels guilty about the school bullies. It's why he lets Zeke think he's dependent upon him.

12: Is your OC mature or immature for their age?

He is quite immature for his age

13: How independent is your OC for their age and life situation?

Oh he's quite independent but don't tell his brother that.

14: Where and what from does your OC seek most typically comfort from?

He mostly goes home to his dad and Cecil. He's super close to Cecil and he tells him everything.

15: Is your OC afraid of confrontation or do they seek to lay things down on open?

Ephy seldom feels the need to confront anyone. Everyone is his friend and when your friends there's no need to confront them.

16: How openly does your OC show their emotions?

He's an open book.

17: What does your OC do when they’re dealing with intense emotional pain?

He ignores it and pretends it doesn't exist. He focuses on the positive and if that doesn't work than he keeps himself as busy as possible so that he's too tired to feel anything.

18: What aspect of your OC’s personality or essence do other people usually have a problem with?

He's a bundle of energy always bouncing from one thing to the next. People often think he's an overgrown child and tend to treat him like one.

20: Do other people have misconceptions about some parts of your OC’s personality?

Since he focuses on the positivie and does his best to ignore the negative things people tend to think he's not very bright.

21: How much of an attention seeker is your OC?

He doesn't go out and see attention but it kind of just finds him.

22: Does your OC believe in something supernatural or not scientifically proven?

Definitely

23: Does your OC have a criminal record?

24: Does your OC have any sexual deviances or kinks?

Right now he's pretty inexperienced but it's something he's going to find he likes a lot XD

25: How does your OC see their own value in comparison to other people?

He knows the value of his own self worth and it's neither more nor lesas than anyone else. He's just himself.

26: Does your OC live in self-denial about anything?

That the world isn't as good as he things it is. A lesson he's going to find hard to learn.

27: What does your OC think about the concept of love?

Right now he has this larger than life idea of what love is and it involves a lot of fireworks and explosions.

28: Is your OC loyal or more prone of take advantage of people close to them?

He's very loyal.

29: Is your OC wild/ reckless or do they tend to stay on the safe side inside their comfort zone?

He's a bundle of energy and he's always looking for something new to try. So he can tend to be more on the reckless side of things.

#ezekial reagan #ephriam reagan #ts4 #character development

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tetsunabouquet · 2 years ago

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God, how can you just turn history upside down?

1 )You are talking about women (give an example of men?) and Why do you say Britain and Argentina if I'm talking about the Vampire Knight universe? Zero does not have a noble title. These are the rules of the story of this manga.

2)Hunters were created so that people could protect themselves and there were adult residents (and none of them were forced) (show the page where he taught children? 🤦‍♀️ And where did you see the children 😂?

Zero/Ichiru were 13*. what is the use of children? He would use it when he grew up, not for himself, but for the common good.

3) Kaname did not teach Seiren, he saved and took her under his wing and in order to repay him, she decided to become strong). he was dear to her.

4) Have you ever wondered if Kaname needed all this? (to experiment on himself, to participate in the war for so many years and all this for the sake of weak beings. Why do you think that he is obliged to do all this? He became king not because wanted, but for the sake of the world.

5) You forgot about the curse of the twins). Where one must absorb the other. Do you think a pureblood couldn't escape from prison again?

Your stories are about children, Seiren, I have a feeling that you are telling fanfiction, and not the story of this manga

Wish you good health.

Kaname is a very deep and complex character, so the bulk of his fans are an adult audience (I noticed). maybe you are a teenager when I was 12-13 I didn’t understand him, now after 6 years I understand perfectly. A huge responsibility fell on him, he is also a living person who can make mistakes and be depressed.

You remember that he postponed what was supposed to happen, but not that he just saved millions of lives without demanding anything from them in return. And if Kaname left everything as it is, he wouldn't be a bad person, would he))

I'm literally 25, don't insult my intelligence and maturity for simply seeing the numerous red flags. I already said I don't run this blog just to write these answers that make me want to vomit. I know you're the same person, cute that you want to stay anonymous. They could have been either twelve or thirteen, their age at the time of the incident was never stated, only that it is about 4 years afterwards, which could also be 4 years and a month (and Zero's birthday could have been in that month). We don't know exactly, but is it really that much of a difference when it comes to maturity? NO. So that's irrelevant. VK never stated that the Kuran monarchy isn't following the rules of real life monarchies, so your point about that is also invalid. I'm talking about Brittain and an Argentinian Dutch Queen, because they are gender flipped examples of how monarchies work in this regard. A monarch's partner is generally always given the title directly below their own regardless of their status. A King marrying a aristocratic or common woman? She's the Queen. A Queen marrying a aristocratic or common man? He's a Prince. That's how it works. You're really twisting my words about the Hunters too. I never said there was a page. I said he was involved with the very foundation of the society, and yes, in the beginning there were only adults because they had eaten the Hooded Woman. The Hunters weren't suddenly born like vampires were. However, that we aren't shown that he was teaching the children of the first Hunters, literally does not negate the fact Kaname had the power to create rules about the appropriate ages and forbid minors from at least going on missions. And don't pretend like Kaname could have established such a rule because else this would have been mentioned like the way his creation of Artemis and Bloody Rose was. He absolutely taught Seiren! Don't pretend otherwise. He was mentally an adult and definitely could have manipulated her into ACTUAL recovery. He didn't. He literally named her that because she had to 'repent', and the fact he never helped her out of her delusion only means one thing: He was using her brainwashed childhood to his own advantage. DISGUSTING. Do you think he couldn't have forbidden her to train? Do you think he couldn't just tell her to stop following him and make up fake missions whilst he does his bussiness instead of her being his bodyguard? Oh, I do know why Kaname did all of that, and you're literally ignoring the fact that I did acknowledge they were good efforts turnt into something bad. It's just that Kaname's shortcomings did contribute to why they became bad, because Kaname wasn't perfect. But the Kaname during the Hooded Woman era, was seriously suffering main character syndrome. Like the whole, 'I'm pretty much amnesiac at this point without a purpose until the love of my life comes along and gives me a mission', very hero route. Even in Memories, he's actually likable as a human without memories. But the Kaname throughout the original main series? Deserves eternal hellfire. The curse of the hunter's twins is irrelevant. It's just another allegory for a stigmatized disease that Ichiru is suffering from. Shizuka literally couldn't escape for a 1000 years until she found an accomplice in her lover. So no, she clearly could not escape on her own. Which is exactly what should have been done to Rido's remains as well, making the Shizuka- Kiryu plotline entirely unneccesary if it wasn't for Kaname planning to take down MORE then just Rido and thinking he struck gold when he saw the first known pair of living Hunter twins. I'm not telling fanfiction, but the things that are present in the manga. Kaname Kuran during his posing as Juri and Haruka's son era, is someone who literally gets me shaking with anger. I hate this piece of garbage, as I should. Stop sending me these clearly biased fangirl messages that try to talk down to me -the whole kid thing at the end, when you're too fucking lazy to even read my bio description in which I literally mention being in my mid-twenties.

#vampire knight #kaname kuran #shizuka hio #kiryu family #seiren #vk #juri kuran #haruka kuran #can you even read?

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tiffanylamps · 2 years ago

Note

just realised (or connected the dots) that when han juwon says that those who’re connected to the case shouldn’t handle it, dongsik agrees becuz the reason why the killer isn’t suspected is cuz he’s part of the close-knit village.

and dongsik understands this. and later on juwon understands that dongsik did understand that. which is why later on, juwon’s reflecting everything dongsik has taught juwon back to him, telling him “you’re too connected to this case. you’re too connected to the people connected to this case. you’re not suspecting the right ppl”

and mf gives him a list of ppl to suspect.

i love their dynamic so much

OKAY!! Tell me to shut up now because this is one of my favourite parts of Joo Won's character!!

Despite how rigid Joo Won is - spine-wise and in terms of his moral compass - he still manages to be a very adaptable person. I think it's one of the things that many of the other characters in the show don't expect from him, which causes them to underestimate his intentions and misinterpret his actions. Some of these characters are Han Ki Hwan, Lee Chang Jin, Chief Jung Cheol-Mun, Oh Ji Hwa and Kwon Hyuk to a certain extent.

Episodes 3, 4, 5, 6, 10, 12, 13, and 16 (there might be more) follow the theme of one being too emotionally connected to the case at hand. Whether that be Dong Sik with Min Jeong and Yu Yeon or Joo Won with his father. But the topic is first probably introduced in Episode 3. Episode 3: Joo Won and Dong Sik have been asked to give a statement after they found Min Jeong's fingertips, so Dong Sik can be dismissed as a suspect (which Joo Won realises straight away and states out loud for the audience). DS: Your office is big enough. Why are we here? JW: She's doing this for you. A cop is only human. She knows how people will think of you with the recent case. The first thing Ji Hwa asks in this scene is are you okay? She hasn't entered this situation as a police officer, which is something she struggles with throughout the entire show. [Side note: Joo Won and Ji Hwa oftentimes share the exact same beliefs about how to approach their jobs. They believe a cop is a cop and no one is above the law BUT the law sucks. They both express these opinions in different ways throughout the show, Joo Won with action and Ji Hwa with opinion. But obviously, they express themselves differently and we are meant to perceive them differently because of their age, gender, and their role within the narrative.] So, because of the traumatic thing that has happened, which she now has to investigate, she approaches the situation as a friend. Which, given the informal nature of the summons, I get BUTTTTT the issue with that is... They're police officers and this is an active missing person/murder investigation, of which, Dong Sik was the lead suspect in a similar cold case... So, the two of them sharing information willy-nilly in the investigation room is actually kind of unprofessional (in my opinion). When I first watched it, I agreed with Joo Won: Ji Hwa is too emotionally involved to be non-bias and Dong Sik shouldn't be given information (inside the interrogation room), it doesn't do well for the investigation... AND to give Joo Won credit, he did live with Prosecutor (Kwon Hyuk), so he probably knows the ways a lawyer can tear apart a case. This then poses a very interesting line of questioning. Joo Won states all the logical reasons why Ji Hwa and Dong Sik shouldn't be a part of the case: they were like family to Min Jeong, Dong Sik was once a suspect 20 years ago, and the formality of the questioning of a witness does not allow for the briefing of that witness. But then Dong Sik counters his argument with: What's wrong with that? Why can't detectives get their feelings involved? What's wrong with being like family to the victim? We want to lock up the bastard who did this to our family. What's wrong with that?

It's the whole reason he became a police officer. It's what he's spent 20 years doing!! HOWEVER, 3 years prior to the canon timeline, Dong Sik berated Lee Sang Yeob for having the exact line of thinking... and it influenced his actions, which lead to his murder.... (and considering how borderline suicidal Dong Sik is, are we stepping too far to assume that he doesn't care to come out of this whole experience intact/ alive??? Maybe, maybe not)

But Dong Sik knows where Joo Won is coming from because he's been in his shoes but he also knows that sometimes, you need emotions to get involved. Lee Yu Yeon and Kang Min Jeong don't have anyone to help them now... there's only Dong Sik left. So, when it's your family that is killing your family, you need those emotions to stop them/bring them to justice.

"To catch these monsters, we must become monsters." Dong Sik, episode 3

So, Joo Won thinks the police shouldn't investigate with their emotions. Dong Sik thinks they should. Out of the two of them, Joo Won is the hypocrite here. He approached his investigation of Dong Sik with nothing BUT emotion (despite how much he likes to pretend he didn't). Joo Won is responsible for Lee Geum Hwa's murder. She's a sex worker with no family in Korea, with no one to claim her body. So, incensed with folly and guilt, Joo Won investigates with emotion.

In episode 4, Dong Sik asks one of the most important (throwaway) questions of the whole series: “It’s a dangerous thing to become attached to someone. Don’t you think?”

The series shows us throughout that the answer is yes and no. It is dangerous but it is worth it.

Episode 10 Joo Won is one of my favourite versions of him. He took the time to digest his relationship with Dong Sik, he highlighted all the parts he didn't like and all the parts he did, he realised Dong Sik's language and decided to reapproach him speaking it. I don't care what anyone says, he's adaptable! It only took him a week to realise Dong Sik isn't the killer, it took a month for them to bring a 20-year-old serial killer to justice (although, you can't really give Joo Won credit for that), and it only took him 3 months to process whatever the fuck was going on between him and Dong Sik. Joo Won learned to speak Dong Sik's language by copying his actions. He planted the evidence (so the police would investigate Kang Jin Mook's suspicious death), he smiled at the camera so Dong Sik would know it was him, he made them dinner so Dong Sik would stay, he said the list of names to prove to Dong Sik 1) look I've been paying attention 2) I know you and I see you (he's a lil creepy) and 3) you've been blindsided by your trust. He doesn't want Dong Sik to make the same mistakes.

Plus... everyone should be a suspect. (that's the way i see it anyway)

Throughout the show, Dong Sik proves time and time again that there isn't much he'll do for those he loves. Plant evidence? Sure. Get himself arrested? Duh! Be a part of a plot to take down the Commissioner of the police? Piece of cake.

But Joo Won is just as willing and twice as reckless as Dong Sik.

So, if Dong Sik investigates with his emotions, Joo Won investigates with his whole heart. Because as soon as Dong Sik gains Joo Won's loyalty, there's not much Joo Won wouldn't do for him. Plant evidence? Sure. Voluntarily get arrested on live national TV? Duh! Promise to go to hell? Piece of cake. Go into a house with the knowledge that you could be murdered? Let's go!! Arrest your dad and your partner? (that one is a little harder)

(gosh he needs to chill)

So, Dong Sik asked: What's wrong with that? Why can't detectives get their feelings involved? What's wrong with being like family to the victim? We want to lock up the bastard who did this to our family. What's wrong with that?

He investigates with his emotions dictating his actions BUT like he says in episode 11:

Inspector Han, it's my job to go berserk without thinking about the consequences. You can stick to just being you. Be calm and composed. That is your job.

Dong Sik knows, as does Joo Won and us, the audience, that Joo Won is not a calm and composed man. Out of the two of them, that's Dong Sik. He is the one that can compartmentalize his emotions and think these through before acting but he is very trusting, far too trusting for his own good. Whereas Joo Won is very analytical but he's impulsive and his emotions can make him sloppy and presumptuous.

But when they work together, they are able to keep each other in check and follow through.

So, to answer Dong Sik's question Why can't detectives get their feelings involved? The answer the show gives is that Joo Won is right: A cop is only human. So, yes, they can but they need their partner to keep them in check.

Thank you for sending this ask! I absolutely adore this aspect of their dynamic as well. So I decided to agree with you by writing way too many words and include beautiful gifs. I went a little off-topic but I hope what I'm trying to say correlates with your point and furthermore, makes sense. I hope you have a great day!

#(thank you to everyone who makes gifs. love you <3)#(this is sloppy but we get what i'm trying to say)#i'm ignoring the institutional corruption storyline for the sake of my point #the babies work best when they're working together #you could say they're two sides of the same coin....#beyond evil analysis #jtbc beyond evil #jwds #han juwon #han joo won #lee dongsik #beyond evil meta commentary #answered

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asteristories · 5 years ago

Text

Demo Link + About the potential ROs of ‘Nevermoore’ (With Art!)

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Game Demo | Forum

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I decided to put all semi-relevant info + commissioned artwork in one post so it’s easy to find for any newcomers. I’ll be pining this too. (Though some info might change slightly over time bc I am guilty of being inconsistent with my characters whoops)

For RO info, I had also included their music themes. It was based on an ask I gotten a long time ago, but instead on separating them from ‘character songs’ and ‘romance path ballads’, they’re just in general now (But you can still interpret them however you want) Also there’s now an extra song for each because I can’t help myself haha. (And one more thing...a lot of songs are english covers of anime music because I am a weeb. Just...putting it out there)

Also, the some of songs themselves could reveal a bit of the ROs backstory/motivations/etc, if you know where to look 👀.

Disclaimer: All art is done (commissioned) by the incredible @apexred! Please check them out when you can! And even though the ROs have their ‘official art’, please don’t be discouraged if you had wanted to imagine them looking a little different when their descriptions eventually show up in the demo! These designs are more for myself than anything 😅 .

Under the cut-

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Micah/Miriam Sterling

They come from the back alleys of early 1900s New York with a soft-spoken and patient personality. Generally civil and polite to most people they meet, and tries to avoid conflict as much as possible. They also have a habit of being constantly alert of their surroundings, picking up sounds and sensations that would normally be missed by others. Nobody considers it unusual, however, because it becomes understandable once you meet them. If the pair of shades and solid wood walking cane doesn’t give it away, then their clouded blue eyes definitely will.

However, it’s best to remain wary of them. Because there is just something...off, in the way they carry themselves. Like a predator, waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike their prey.

Age: 26

Birthday: February 25, 1896 (Pisces)

Height: 5′9″. Becomes 5′10″ in the heels.

Background: They actually don’t know the specific date they were born, but had went with February 25 because that was the day they were found left on the doorstep of a church orphanage. Because of this, they also don’t know where they are from. But they do know how to speak other languages like French, German, Italian, Russian, and many more.

Recorded Date of Disappearance: 1922

Songs: Unravel English Cover Acoustic, Last StarDust English Cover, Towards the Sun

Related Art: 1,

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Elias/Eloise Lain Romero

They grew up in Cuba before moving to Canada to study journalism. They are often sarcastic and have a bit of a sharp tongue, directing it towards anyone that’s within their vicinity for longer than a minute. However, it’s known that they do genuinely care for the other residents, even though they’d probably rather die again than admit it out loud. Oddly enough, they can also come off as rather nosy, always asking others (including you) rather personal questions. They insist that it’s important, but don't specify what they need the information for.

Also, they are always seen carrying a leather-bound notebook with them at all times. With everything they seem to know about the people and the town, who knows what's written in it...

Age: 21

Birthday: May 11, 1969 (Taurus)

Height: 5′7″

Background: Was born and lived in Cuba until they were about age 7. Knows how to speak Spanish.

Recorded Date of Disappearance: 1989

Songs: Hello World English Cover, Shikisai English Cover, Reason Living English Cover

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Pavel/Pris(Priscilla) Falken

The brightly coloured, mismatched clothes they wear match their upbeat, free-spirited personality. An aspiring cook, specifically a baker, who was looking to open their own cafe before they arrived to the town. But even so, they won’t let the curse stop them from doing what they love, despite the potential risks (In fact, they’ve lost count on how many times their oven blew up on them). They also love to chat with people, especially with the newcomers. Expect to see them show up at your doorstep with a fresh batch of freshly baked goods as a way to make you feel welcome.

Their family actually shares their love for cooking, having once owned a small, local restaurant. Once is the keyword here. And it’s their fault.

Age: 23

Birthday: August 7, 1981 (Leo)

Height: 5′4″-5′5″

Background: Mixed Scandinavian ancestry and probably had distant viking blood. Knows mostly English, but may or may not know some curse words in Swedish and Norwegian.

Recorded Date of Disappearance: 2004

Songs: Best Day of My Life, When Can I see You Again, Glad You Came

Related Art: 1,

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Simon/Sarai Zhang

They are a person of science, following the footsteps of their father. Can be mostly be found in the town library, preferring the company of books rather than people. Their stoicism and aloofness makes it hard to get a read on what they are really thinking, and their bluntness sometimes turns others away. But they are hardworking, and take their situation more seriously than others. Which is why they are the only one who is actively trying to find a way out of the town, as well as understand how it works. They’ve tried everything, and are still coming up with new ways and theories (and experiments, sometimes even on themselves) all the time. They are determined to escape.

They have to. For their father.

Age: 25

Birthday: November 12, 1945

Height: Simon is 6′2″, while Sarai is 6′0″

Background: Has a Chinese father and an Israeli mother. So because of this they know how to speak Mandarin and little bit of Hebrew.

Recorded Date of Disappearance: 1970

Songs: C’mon, Tell Me Now English Cover, [To be added]

#astericae speaks #Nevermoore cog #ROs #Nevermoore Sterling #Nevermoore Romero #Nevermoore Falken #Nevermoore Zhang

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casmybelovedass · 4 years ago

Text

The Destiel Folder: Season 8

[Season 4; Season 5; Season 6; Season 7]

Oooohhh this is where things start getting JUICY

Episode 1:

Again, Dean copes with the idea of Cas not being there by lying to himself

Parallel from S6: Dean behaves exactly like he was while looking for Lisa and Ben, looking for Cas. "Where's the angel!" (16:57)

Dean clearly states he won't leave PurGAYtory without Cas (22:45)

Episode 2:

Since Dean has come back, he has been snappy with Sam and Crowley about Cas, but every time he remembers PurGAYtory, he is either looking for Cas or with him, and that's all he thinks of

Again with the paraparallels with Lisa and Ben (12:21), also "You'll find your angel there." (13:19) ICWAW, come on, do I have to point that out?

"There are some in Heaven who still believe, despite his mistakes, that Castiel's heart was always in the right place [...] I think... too much heart was always Castiel's problem." (22:25) Samandriel says all of this while looking directly at Dean

Look at that hug. Have we ever seen Dean hug Cas before? The gring on Dean's face. [This is so fucking funny too me, the "Nice peach fuzz" reaction to Cas' beard VS the Sam's "That's the most disgusting thing I've ever seen!" reaction in season 14] (23:21)

"I prayed to you, Cas, every night!" (24:37) Cas once again chose to leave/hurt Dean in order to protect him, even tho he really doesn't want to leave him. "There've been things hunting me. [...] I've a price on my head and I've been trying to stay one step ahead of them to... to keep them away from you." (24:54) Those fucking eyes kill me

Dean is willing to risk it all to get Cas out with him. "Cas, buddy... I need you." [yeah, let's see how well that ages on episode 17], also the little "Dean... " after that... BABIES (25:33)

That smile, those eyes... LOOK AT HIM. This is such a "You and me against everything" moment that, ICWAW, would be considered HELLA ROMANTIC

"I'm not leaving here without you. Understand?" (25:51) for fucking finally, also 12 seconds of STARE + LICK of the LIPS action. Oooohhh ICWAW... just imagine

Let us remember that all of this ⬆️, Dean remembers after Samandriel told him "too much heart bla bla bla"

"... [Kevin] thinks people I don't need anymore, they end up dead." (40:36) 'you', Dean? Only you? That's so much guilt you are packing. And immediately after he thinks about trying to save Cas from PurGAYtory and failing... Alrighty then

Episode 5:

I get why some people ship Dean and Benny, but they really do struck me as a bromance. When they call each other "brother", I believe that. With Cas, Dean pulls the "brother card" whenever he's opening his heart to him, basically "no-homo"ing it at the end. Weird right? (12:03)

Benny bitches about Cas being a danger to them because of the attraction monsters have to him, and Cas himself tries convincing Dean he has to leave him behind for his own good, but Dean is having none of that shit and is ready to die trying to save him (12:56)

FUCK MY LIFE we are getting flashbacks from both Sam and Dean, Sam about the time he spent with Amelia, and Dean about looking for, finding and trying to save Cas. I MEAN??!!! ICWAW you BET this would be seen as a ROMANTIC PARALLEL

"He's a friend." "A friend? Dean, you don't have any- all your friends are dead." "That's not what I called to talk about!!" Ouch (25:27)

Episode 6:

"I was in Purgatory." "Like 'purgatory' Purgatory?" "No, the one in Miami." ... that's a gay bar, Dean, how would you know? (11:23)

Dean's lying to himself about Cas letting go (35:32)

Episode 7:

Parallel to S1 Sam seeing Jess while in the car (2:31). Kill me. Also Dean allucinates Cas just like Sam did with Jess (10:15) band tries coping with it by repeating to himself that he didn't leave Cas behind

Every scene in Purgatory where Cas tries to reassure Dean that, if he doesn't make it, it's just the way it is, and Dean insisting he won't leave without him. "I'm just saying... if it doesn't work.. Thank you. For everything." (12:50) I'm dying

Cas comes back and all Dean does for the first few moments is check him out (16:16-16:21) He says he kept trying to reach for the boys, but wasn't at full power, tho somehow Dean was the only one who could see him. And Dean's eyes looking back at Cas (17:58) End me now

FUCKING👏BONER👏SHIFT👏 (20:38)

LOOK AT HIM!! He's checking him out, making THAT face and SHIFTING IN HIS SEAT WHILE PRESSING A HAND TO HIS CROTCH. THAT'S A BONER SHIFT. Look at Sam and then at Dean (20:44) One is a friendly fond reaction, one ISN'T.

ICWAW, we wouldn't even be QUESTIONING it!

The amount of checking out in this episode is crazy. Look at Dean checking out Cas. Look at his face! THE EYES (24:08) ICWA- OH COME ON DO I HAVE TO POINT THAT OUT?!

"Did you not trust me?" "Dean..." "I did everything I could to get you out. Everything! ... I did not leave you." "... So you think this was your fault?" OH MY GOD SO FUCKING #MARRIED LOOK AT CAS' EYES (28:06) ICWA- I'm not even trying anymore

So many soft shoulder touches (34:42) also HOT SCENE I don't know why "I'm going in." "Cas, no. You're not strong enough." (35:15) precious babies

"You could've gotten yourself killed. Why didn't you wait for me?" "Well, I didn't get killed, and it worked." "And if it didn't?!" "It would have been my problem." "Well, it's not the way I see it!" (37:36) #MARRIED they're SO MARRIED

Dean keeps blaming himself for Cas not getting out "I don't need to feel like hell for failing you like I've failed every other godforsaken thing I care about." SEE??! (38:16) Dean preferred believing he had let Cas down, something he is used to, than he had sacrified himself for him (38:48). Dean can't believe Cas thought he deserved to stay in Purgatory. Also THE WAY THEY'RE LOOKING AT EACH OTHER (39:38) And Dean's deeply hurt by the fact that Cas would leave him to safety and remain in Purgatory as self punishment for what Dean had painted as all Cas' fault. And he is full of regret (41:30)

Episode 8:

[How fucking cute is it that Cas wants to become a hunter. I'M SQUEELING]

They are so #MARRIED my heart ACHES (5:02) and the way Dean looks at Cas is so fucking SOFT. And 6 seconds of just staring and... well, Cas in general (5:13)

"What? I was being bad cop." "No, you were being bad everything!" (9:12) #MARRIED (12:04) I'm dying, they're so cute

"I don't sleep." "Okay, well, I need my 4 hours, so-" "I'll watch over you *puppy eyes*" (12:52)

"Hey, can you lift this?" sure, Dean, every excuse is valid to have Cas be hot by effortlessly moving an anvil. And see how Cas looks at Dean, like "Really? You even had to ask? I'll fucking show you I can lift this shit". Look at how he looks back side-eyes at Dean here (14:16), like he's making sure Dean is watching him being hot. I'm dead

This is such a fucking sweet moment [I mean, kinda looked like the begging of a porn at first] (16:01). Dean can sense Cas is not okay, and gets him to open up about his feelings. And when Cas admits being suicidal, Dean is speechless, not even being able to imagine such an outcome. Anyway, it is so fucking sweet that they're always able to show themselves vulnerable to each other

Shut up. Look at this scene (18:51-18:53). Mute the video and just look. This is Sam marrying Cas and Dean. PERIODT.

"You're so pretty, Charles. [...] You were quite the bounder." DEAN'S FACE (20:27) He's so in love, and immediately after he LICKS HIS LIPS

While Sam talks about running away from your problems (referring to Amelia), and having to wake up in order not to destroy everything, the pan focuses on Cas (35:33) Subtext, gentlethem, subtext. CAS, FACE YOUR FEELINGS. SOON

Dean's face when Cas says he's not coming back with them (38:16-39:21)

Episode 10:

I now this scene is supposed to be funny, but the way Cas looks at Dean AAAWWW (6:53-7:01) Also do you really have to walk so close to Cas, Dean? Do you? While CHECKING HIM OUT nonetheless?! (7:54)

Remember when in 7x01 Dean was totally comfortable watching porn in front of his brother? Well, Dean goes on and on about Cas being a "brother", but his fucking reaction to Cas being in the same room as him with porn on his computer, is BY FAR the same he has with Sam, hell he even keeps watching with Sam! (8:05) Is it because the last time he, porn and Cas were in the same room, Cas popped a BONER?

Random guy @ Dean: "Are you serious?" Cas: "*leans in to look at Dean* That's his serious face, yes." And Dean's reaction (12:59) SO FUCKING #MARRIED

Dean, that's not the way you look at a friend, or a BROTHER (13:38)

LOOK!! I swear to GOD ICWAW that would be seen as nothing other than CHECKING OUT YOUR CRUSH

"Hey, how about we say, if this doesn't pan out, we had back to that beer and bacon happy hour a mile back, huh?" Translation: "Since I'm starting to realize I might feel something more for you, let me take you on what is totally not a date unless you want it to be" (16:58)

(24:02) #MARRIED

Dean, will you stop checking out Cas during missions? (25:06) Same goes for you, Cas, don't check if your husband's got a boner for you being the hero here (25:08)

Since the start of this season, we've been getting parallels between Sam & Amelia and Dean & Cas. The flashbacks, the guilt for leaving the other half behind, and now Dean tells Sam he's jealous he got a chance at being happy with Amelia (37:32)!!! I MEAN- and fuck my life when I tell you there are parallels with the whole Sam-Amelia-Don & Cas-Dean-Benny thing. I'M TELLING YOU

Episode 11:

"Trust me, this life... you can't afford attachments. You just gotta... let go." "... Are we still talking about Sam, or did you break up with someone too?" (21:17) CHARLIE KNOWS. TELL HIM CHARLIE

Episode 13:

Bitch... Dean's reaction to getting publicly hit on by a dude, so not the one a straight guy, confident in his sexuality and masculinity, "no-homo bro" would have (15:36). Just saying, we have seen Dean turn down what he thought were avances, and other implications regarding his sexuality, with either sarcasm/humor or anger... this is new. Progress?! [Wait till we get to 15x7]

Episode 16:

[Keep in mind how Dean's bedroom looks. Trust me]

Episode 17: OOOOHHH BOI

Cas has been tortured, mind-fucked, obligated to kill fake Deans over 1K times, in order to be ready to kill the real one. Let that sink in

Dean prayed to Cas, I'm sure almost every night, and can already sense something is not right with him ever since he came back from Purgatory (11:31), but when Sam questions his prayers to Cas, Dean doesn't know how to respond. Like, what, do I need a reason to try and contact my crush?

"There has to be another way. [...] This isn't right! [...] I won't hurt Dean!" (29:51-31:00) "Cas, fight this! This is not you! FIGHT IT!" and he does. Cas fights it. [and as soon as Cas starts fighting back, Heaven tints with BI COLOURS! LOOK AT THEM WINDOW THINGY (31:16) OF ALL COLOURS]

Dean is on the verge of tears, kneeling in front of Cas, telling him "This isn't you!", and to fight. He is pleading. And by the end, bloody, hopeless, "Cas... it's me! We're family. We need you... I need you." and Cas stops. (33:13)

Cas breaks the connection Naomi had installed in him. Once again, when presented with the choice, he chooses Dean over Heaven. All of this because Dean needed him. And let's not forget Dean was originally ment to say "I love you.", and that would've been the reason Cas snapped out of the control. I MEAN ICWAW THIS WOULD FUCKING BE CANON

Dean, thinking Cas is going to kill him, clutches onto the coat's sleeve for dear life, to the memory of his Cas (34:21) KILL ME

"What broke the connection?" The look in Cas' eyes... "I don't know." OH YES YOU DO (36:15) and Dean's face when Cas says he needs to protect the angel tablet. Dean knows he's gonna leave again (36:23). ICWAW, this whole scene would be the UMPTEENTH CONFESSION

Episode 18:

"I'm fine. Are you okay?" "Me?" "Yeah. Cass dinged you up pretty good." "... and?" "And I just wanted to make sure you're okay." "...What, like, my feelings?!" "If that's what you wanna talk about, sure." Dean gets pissy pretty easily when talking about Cas, who left once again, and his feelings. Also, Sam knows, and he ships it. He's president of the Destiel Company (4:02)

Episode 19:

The thing with the Deanny relationship is: Dean is naturally affectionate towards Sam, and he expresses the same towards Benny. His relationship with the both of them is very very similar, while see Dean showing affection towards Cas [same as he does with Sam] only during extreme emotional moments. Dean is known for repressing his feelings, and having a tendency to maintaining a "macho" exterior. He shows himself vulnerable in front of Cas, but not enough for him to think less of Dean. So, think about it

Episode 20:

Charlie, a lesbian, who has only ever heard of Castiel through Dean, describes him as seeming "dreamy" while talking to Dean... GAYDAR ANYONE??!!! (9:16)

Episode 21:

"In the words of a good friend... 'bite me'." Cas is quoting Dean, and if I remember correctly, Dean will quote Cas' "ass-butt" later on (16:"10)

Episode 22:

I hate when Dean treats Cas poorly, badly, because he can't deal with his feelings. In the heat of the moment, Dean is always forgiving, helpful and caring, but as soon As things cool down, he goes back to being cold, bitchy and snappy, like nothing ever happened. Repressed mother fucker

The small flash of hurt on Cas' face when Dean ignores his "Good morning" (3:33) fighting coupleTM. "Dean, I can go with you. *is ignored* Dean... I'm sorry. [LOOK AT THAT FACE]" "For what?" "For everything." "Everything? Like ignoring us?" #MARRIED

Cas is buying porn, beer and pie to make amends to Dean. "Where's the pie?" "I think we're out." "*grabs store clerk* You don't understand. I need pie!" (14:50) they are so fucking #MARRIED

Episode 23:

This is such a sweet moment. Cas is about to close the doors to his old home behind himself forever, while risking getting killed by his own kind, and Dean is worried about him. They are sharing drinks while longingly staring into each other's eyes. This is so sweet. Also, Dean warned Sam he might not be coming back. Why? Cuz he would probably die while trying to protect Cas from other angels. To them, they are probably spending their last moments together, while looking at each other like THAT (22:38) And 5 seconds of STARES (23:10)

In love. Fucking fools in love, that's what they are.

This is so stupid but they have just witnessed a cupid matching up two dudes, after all of the above⬆️ (23:53) AND IT'S JUST FUNNY!! Dean is stunned and all, while Cas is complitely fine and professional (24:04-24:17-24:21) DEAN'S FACE

"Talk first, stab later." (26:21) Cas is like "Bitch, you talking? That was our first date!" #MARRIED

[I'll just leave this here (37:00)]

Now shit's getting real

[Season 9>>]

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welcome-to-green-hills · 4 years ago

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I am a 12 year old boy, and christian. But lately I've been pretending that i'm a girl, and whenever my parents leave, i put a blanket around my legs and pretend it's like a princess dress. Are these habits normal? I personally don't believe that boys wearing dresses is a sin or anything, but I don't even know if I'm right about that

Hello, buddy!

I’m very sorry that this took so long. Please know that I was not trying to ignore you at all. I have been thinking of the best mature answer to give you. I wanted to take the time to carefully evaluate my words and string them together comfortably. This post was revised a few times due to my opinion being expressed rather than the opposite. What was asked of me was if this was a normal behavior, not my opinion. For this post, I strive to only share logical evaluations and concepts before arriving to a conclusion.

(There will be articles and research data referenced as well, but I’ll put a hyperlink in it as a source and reference it at the end).

I think that what should matter is that what feels the best to you. What matters is how you feel in your heart and mind. If that is what feels comfortable to you, then that is what works best for you. Viewing this as an anthropologist, clothes are not defined with a binary—humans define it by a binary. Meaning that when clothes are made, there isn’t a strict rule as to who and what should wear it. A dress doesn’t come with instructions saying, “dresses are for girls/women only.” Humans, the cultural and social norms that they were raised in, advertise articles of clothing as a norm. In short: yes! It’s becoming normal, especially now (Ipsos 2019, #3-6). Even back when Christianity was just beginning, many wore animal skins, tunics, wool, and a special unisex skirt called a “stola” or similar to. (Wikipedia 2020).

I’ve shared a long time ago that there are at least 52--and counting--genders in the world and 6 different types of biological sex that a person can have (Joshua Kennon 2018). There is no reason, or excuse, to have clothes catered to only two options. We, as a society, hear more about people of multiple genders use clothing as a form of expression. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. It seems weird now because we’re becoming, what you youngings say, “woke.” There is nothing wrong with a person who identifies as a male and wears a skirt. Nor is there anything wrong with a person who identifies as a female and wears bow ties. (Weak example, I know, but it’s the most “male” item I can think of for Western Culture). Normalizing a binary as a “non binary” is a bit odd for a hardcore culture to understand, but overtime it can be taught and woven into cultural morals later on.

Here’s an example:

One thing that came to mind while writing this was Schitt’s Creek star, Daniel Levy. In the show, he played a role (David Rose) where his character wore skirts and skorts as a norm. The character also wore a skirt equivalent to his wedding when he wedded his husband.

Recently, the show’s actor and creator wore a skirt while receiving his nineth Emmy award in 2020 (Fernandez, 2020).

I’ve been trying to find my notes and PDF files shared through previous anthropological courses through each semester to share. I don’t want to make any claims without sharing proof... plus it gives you something to read if you’re interested in it. However, in ever class I’ve attended and talked with professionals of specific archaeological and cultural fields, the use of gendered clothing appears to be traced back to when humans began agricultural societies. Agricultural (also referred to as “agrarian” society anthropologically) societies were really the start of just about everything, like governmenting officials, farming, the concepts of relatives and families, gender specific roles (like taking care of kids and gender specific jobs) in a defined group, and religion.

Anthropologist Joanne Eicher studies humans in the now, the contemporary. What she loves to view is cultural standards art, humanities, and the way that people dress as well. She brushes up on this in her published work called “The Anthropology of Dress” from the late 2000s. Give it a read if you’re interested, we can talk further about it if you have questions.

In short, if you really were asking for my opinion about it it’s okay for males to wear skirts, then my answer will be “yes.” I think that it’s perfectly okay and cool beans for males to wear a skirt. I also think that it’s perfectly okay for females to wear male clothing, like suits/tuxedos that give off an alpha vibe and sports gear.

Onto the second portion of your question:

Tackling the first section, “I am a 12 year old boy, and christian. But lately I've been pretending that i'm a girl...” Are you asking me if it’s normal for someone your age to pretend to be a girl?

If you’re asking me if it’s normal for kids in your age group to portray themselves as a different gender, then yes in some cases. It is normal, it’s just deemed as a surreal topic to hear it in public. It is perfectly normal to question the portrayal of yourself, and it’s perfectly okay to explore other possibilities (Mascareille, 2015).

As stated before, what should matter here is what you think and feel is right in your heart/mind. No one can tell you what you can and can’t be. I can’t tell you who and what you should be in life, that’s all up to you. I can’t force you to become something that you’re nots only You know what’s best for you in your heart and mind. What helps is to have that conversation with yourself. Ask yourself who you are and what you strive to be. This is an important part of life—you get to invent the person that you want to be. And the glorious thing about this development is that this is the perfect time where you’re open to all possibilities and emerging into a culture/society where we ask questions. It’s okay to ask questions and try new things (Early Childhood National Centers, n.d).

I’m going to leave two links down below to a couple website that you can read more about. I do not mean to leave you on a short note here and shrug you off. What I’m leaving you with are some other source materials that you are welcomed to brush up on as well. I am very honored that you trust me enough to have this conversation, but I can only provide so much. This means that I can provide you with much information as I can on this topic, but I don’t know what it means to you in your heart and soul. You know better than I do.

KidsHealth.org by Nemours

Human Rights Campaign—Tools for Equality and Inclusion

There is nothing wrong with you at all. None whatsoever. And if you have any questions, or just need someone to talk to about it, you’re always welcomed here. I’ll provide you with the recourses that you need in order to be successful. Stay safe and remember that you’re worthy and matter. I hope that this answers your question, buddy!✨

#mystery anon #off topic #I am an anthropologist

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one-abuse-survivor · 4 years ago

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i don't know if I'm supposed to be here. i think i may have experienced trauma. not so much direct abuse (save for only a scatter of instances of physical abuse and emotional abuse), but more than anything emotional neglect, and being witness to DV (if it can be called that - my parents fought a lot in front of us, and it was violent physically and verbally, but maybe that's different)

because of whatever was going on with them, they pretty much left our younger brother to us in every way except physical needs. i think in a way i had begun to see myself responsible for him emotionally and mentally, because he didn't have my parents so he came to me mostly for emotional things. he was six years younger than me - much of this was when i was 10-12 and he was 4-6

but with everything back then, i was depressed and irritable and messed up and he was left to me, and i was trying to be something to him that i had no understanding or idea of, and i feel like i have messed up so much by him by trying to be that to him. i feel like in doing that i just damaged him a lot emotionally by losing control and patience and yelling at him when he was just being a kid with emotional needs

none of it is really an excuse or a justification and i know that. and i don't really know what i'm asking for here. i've never told anybody this, but i read over the traits of toxic parents and i see myself in them and i feel so disgusting and ashamed. he deserved so much better, a better family and life and more love and he never got any of it

i guess i want to think, i was a child in a shitty situation too - i want that as an excuse, but another part of me thinks that maybe it's not really as simple as that. bc i still hurt him and messed him up - or at least, they are two separate things that co-exist

now that i am older and i am more in control and calm, i have apologised to him several times, and i have told him that the way i had treated him back then was not his fault or anything to do with him, and i was the one that was stupid and disgusting and messed up. but the damage is done already, and i see that in all these little ways in him and i can't ever take it back

it feels like i can never really make up for this, and i don't feel like i get to acknowledge the things that happened to me, or let them matter, when i have been so toxic to my brother. i want for him to find a way to get better and be happy and move on from the things that happened in our shitty family and get away from here, but with our lack of financial independence and independence in general, i don't know if it can ever happen

i don't really know what im looking for here. truthfully im scared of even putting this here. i don't know what i probably look like confessing all these things - i'm confused and sometimes i think i might not be seeing anything right, that maybe im being too hard on myself, but then i think that maybe im just trying to justify and excuse myself again or making it about me where i shouldnt, and i don't know what to think

If you want to be here, or you think you’d benefit from being here, then you’re supposed to be here, nonnie. I’ll never ask the people who follow or interact with this blog to prove they were abused enough (or at all) to interact; the only thing I ask for is respect toward me and others.

I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling with all of this—it sounds like a really complicated experience to try to process and understand on your own, and if you can, now or in the future, I do think it’d be a good idea to bring these things up with a therapist who can help you manage all these thoughts.

But for now, here’s what I can tell you:

Firstly, exposing a kid to physical and verbal violence in the home environment on a regular basis is child abuse, even if the abuse is never directed at the kids themselves. And fights between parents that get violent can absolutely be domestic violence, although I can’t tell you for sure whether that was your parents’ case because I don’t know them or the way they experienced those fights. But regardless of whether one was abusing the other or they were just both destructive toward each other, a hostile home environment can cause children a lot of trauma. I myself used to think my abuse had only started in my teens because that’s when my parents divorced and my mother turned her abuse to me; but my therapist told me that having to see and hear them fight violently all through my childhood was very traumatic too, and now that I think back on it, I completely agree with her.

Secondly, neglect of all kinds does classify as abuse too, and isn’t, contrary to popular belief, ‘abuse lite’ or necessarily less traumatic than other forms of abuse.

What your parents did to you, leaving you to tend to your younger brother and do the parenting for them while they neglected all of you, was not okay. And I’m really sorry to hear that you’re struggling with shame and guilt for the way you raised your brother, because the truth of the matter is you weren’t meant to be doing the parenting. You weren’t mature enough, physically or emotionally, to be caring for someone else. You didn’t make a choice to take care of a kid: your parents did, and therefore it was their responsibility to raise him, not yours. And at that age, you yourself still needed someone to be parenting you while you grew up and screwed up. You were meant to be having a short temper, and selfish needs, and to think the world revolved around you, and you were meant to be discovering who you were as a person, and you were meant to mess up again and again because you were still growing up. You were still a kid.

It’s good that you apologised to your brother nonetheless, because, obviously, he was also only a kid who didn’t have the tools to comprehend or rationalise the way he was being treated. But nonnie, neither did you. And here’s something I really want you to know: all those things you’re blaming yourself for, all those toxic traits in lists about abusive parents that you see in yourself, all the trauma you see in your brother today: that, all of that, is your parents’ fault and their fault only. They are the ones that failed you, your brother and your other siblings. They’re the ones that made it so that you had to do the best you could with a responsibility that no kid should ever have to deal with. They’re the ones who hurt your brother because they’re the ones who should’ve understood that a 10 to 12-year-old kid does not have the maturity, tools, ability or responsibility to be a parent figure. And they're the ones who should be held accountable.

This is why I really do encourage you to seek therapy if you can now or in the future. Because you do deserve to acknowledge what they put you through. You don’t deserve to be feeling all this guilt for things you didn’t cause and couldn’t fix, and you don’t deserve to feel guilty for having been a kid.

I really hope some of this helps to hear. I’m sending you a huge virtual hug and one last reminder that you don’t have to feel guilty. It wasn’t your fault. You were just a kid. And any pain you caused your brother is entirely on your parents.

#ask #abuse tw #abuse #abusive parents #toxic parents #domestic violence tw #neglect tw #emotional abuse tw #physical abuse tw #trauma tw #therapy mention #Anonymous #Guilt tw

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dachi-chan25 · 3 years ago

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Haven't done this in a while but I had the time so why not?

1.- Pizza Girl by Kyoung Jean Frazier

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I really did like it, reminded me a lot of "Convinience store woman". Like clearly our protagonist needed thrapy ASAP to help her deal with her dad's death, her pregnancy, her attraction to women and hell just for existing as an Asian woman in the USA, but I liked how messy and obsesive she was and how the author allowed her to be fucked up and take bad decisions, I love to see female characters simply exist, it's also a pretty short read so I definitely recommend it.

2.-The Authentics by Abdi Nazemian

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Daría is a persian teen who is really involved in her cultural background and feels that the most important thing one can be is authentic, so that's the name she and her friends take for their clique. But everything comes crashing down on her when she discovers she is adopted, and soon follows an identity crisis. I loved it so much, it felt pretty realistic, like Daría could be self absorbed and unlikeable at times, but who wasn't as a teen? And we get such beautiful heartwarming moments between Daría and her family and friends. Totally recommend it.

3.- The Mall by Megan McCafferty

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Cassie has her life completely mapped out but nothing goes quite as planned, first she gets mononucleosis and after she gets better gets dumped and fired almost simultaneously. Determined not to let it get the best of her, Cassie gets a brand new job, reconnects with an old friend and even finds a hidden treasure. This one is so much fun, all the 90s references and the growth Cassie goes through is amazing, honeslty i would love to see this as a Netflix movie.

4.- Luster by Raven Leilani

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This book was hard, Edie is a very raw character, at first she seems flippant even when describing disturbing facts about her past or details about her relationship with a much older man she seems to be talking about something that happened to someone else all this to cope dealing with her solitude, her trauma, her self hate. And gosh it was so intresting to see her interact with Rebecca and Akila, especially Akila as Edie finds kinship in this young girl not only cuz they are both black but because they are both lost and afraid.

5.- Lakewood by Megan Giddings

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Lena decides to participate on a financially compensated medical experiment so her mom can get proper medical care and to lessen their debts after her Grandmother's death.

So I had many mixed feelings about this, on one hand I liked that we are adressing how sistematical racism has permited experiments on black people with no consequences at all and how it has been happening for decades, but there were certain parts of the book that I couldn't enjoy as much because they were very trippy like I get we are on Lena's mind as things are becoming muddled up because of the medications and all those mind games and the words they have her memorize and repeat but all of it took me a bit away from the story. Still I do recommend it just be aware there is quite a bit of body horror in this so if you are sqeamish better skip it.

6.-The Voting Booth - Brandy Colbert

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Marva and Duke meet on election day as she helps him find the precint he is registered on.

This is very enjoyable, the story is very straightforward, and it insists on our right and responsability to vote even if we feel our vote alone can't possibly change all the injustice we see in the world. And also the romance was cute and developed slowly as Marva and Duke are just knowing each other. Really cute and quick read.

7.- Such a fun age - Kiley Reid

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Emira works as a babysitter for the Chamberleins' . She loves her little charge Briar, although she feels preassured to seek a 'real job' by her friends and by her own economic troubles. Emira soon finds herself in the middle of a tug of war between her boss Alix who tries to befriend her, and Kelley the guy she is dating.

So much drama. This is a great example of what performative activism looks like, first Alix is completely nuts, from her obsession to be seen as this wonderful understanding girl boss activist and the down right creepy sense of entitlement to Emira's friendship and intimacy. Like it doesn't surprise me she chose to victimize herself instead of recognizing it had all been a misunderstanding. And even then she still wants to seem atractive to the man she feels victimized by. Girl no.

Kelley is the ultimate fake woke ally. Dude Robbie was wrong period, he had no business inviting people over to someone else's house no matter the color of his skin. You don't get to talk over Emira on matters of what a person of color should do or feel on certain situations. That said it was so funny when he and Alix called each other out for their fetishization of people of color and yet none of them actually gave a damn about what Emira thought/felt/percieved. They just wanted her stamp of approval so they could pat themselves in the back for being such good allies.

8.- The Life and (Medieval) times of Kit Sweetly by Jamie Pacton

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Kit is working as a serving wench at the Castle, medieval themed restaurant run by her uncle, though she really wants to be a Knight, not only cuz the better pay would help around the house but because she really admires Joan of Arc, problem is the Castle management doesn't allow for anyone who is not a cis male to be a knight. Kit is set on changing that.

Ok so I feel a bit lukewarm toward this. Kit in my opinion doesn't get much growth, it seems she just can do whatever and her friends have to be ok w it, her romance w her friend feels pulled out of nowhere like Jett at one point tells her he is not intrested in dating her and then he is ???, those GoT references killed me, I get it I watched the show and sometimes even enjoyed it but it's not representative of anything medieval and Kit was always talking about how much she liked the actual history of the medieval times so...

Also as much as this book was about feminism and how we should fight for equal job oportunities, it feels as though Kit only cared about medieval woman who fought physically and not on the badass medieval woman, like idk it feels as a rejection of tradicional feminity like even the girl playing the Princess is a jerk. But I did like some parts, like her decision to confront her asshole dad to help her mom and the girls training together.

9.-Cien años de soledad de Gabriel Garcia Marquez

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En Macondo, una población Colombiana a un lado del río, vemos como una de sus familias fundadoras crece, se expande y cambia a través de cien años.

Me encanto, hace mucho tiempo que no leía una novela de realismo mágico que me provocará tantos sentimientos. Creo que todos los personajes reflejan aspectos de la humanidad tan diversos y complejos que sería inútil tratar de enlistarlos todos.

Ultimadamente siento que lo que condenó a la familia Buendia a cumplir las profecías de Melquiades fue sus propia naturaleza que ellos nunca tuvieron intención de pelear, siempre sucumbian a las locuras o pasiones que los inundarán sin mesura alguna o consideración por las consecuencias. Y creo que aún así lo prefiero pues es lo que hace a cada personaje por confuso que a veces llegue a ser la repetición de nombres (que para mi es el simbolismo de una naturaleza y destino continuos) único e intrigante. En verdad espero que se den la oportunidad de leer este libro por lo menos una vez en sus vidas.

10.-The Monsters of music by Rebecca F. Kenney

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This is a gender-swaped modern retelling of the Phantom of the Opera.

It was creative to make Mel, our Phantom, a true magical creature, and the singing contest was also cool. Like don't get me wrong I did have fun reading this but it also felt pretty unpolished like most characters were teens on the contest and that kinda made me roll my eyes a bit, like unless it's the Voice Kids age ranges are quite ample on this kind of shows, also kinda clumsy the addition of the magical elements with the modern setting, Kiyo didn't make much of an impression with me even when Christine is my fave on the original book. Still if you are a Phan like me you might wanna check this one out.

11.- Anna K by Jenny Lee

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This is a modern americanized ya retelling of Anna Karenina.

Not gonna lie this made me cry so much at the end. I really liked Anna and Vronski together so much, and I don't like the love at first sight trope, but here it felt so inevitable. Anna was so self contained until she met him and could truly explore being herself and they really loved each other so much. Also I liked the treatment of the side characters Kimmie and Dustin were well developed and I really enjoyed this one can't wait to get to the second book.

12.- Wonderland by Zoje Stage

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It was ok, but I was actually a bit disappointed cuz I had such high expectations for it. Like for about half the book I was really into the atmospheric vibe the book pulls you into, but as we get the reveal it started to go down hill for me, and the ending left me feeling meh. But maybe it was just not my cup of tea.

13.-Home Before Dark by Riley Sager

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This book is so well crafted!!! I love how it goes back and forth between past and present , first it feels as if history is repeating itself, then as both narratives unfold we start to question and discovering things and the twist at the end was chillin and masterful, I truly and wholeheartedly recommend it.

14.- The Girl with the louding voice by Abi Daré

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Adunni, a teenage girl, flees from her husband to work as a maid in Lagos, though everything she has ever wanted is to study.

This broke my heart, as it reflects how people coming from rural backgrounds get taken advantage of in the City, like similar things happen here in Mexico, but also it made me glad to see Adunni fight and keep her spirit so no one could ever silence her.

15.- The Year of the Witching by Alexis Henderson

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Immanuel does her very best to fit in Bethel, follow the scriptures and the Prophets words, but nothing seems to be enough to erase her mother's sin especially when the Darkwood seems to pull her in. As a plague starts to ravage Bethel, Immanuel has to face her past to save her people.

So frickin' good !!!! This story is great, mainly about the explotation of woman and young girls by people in power (in this case a church), the atmosphere is always tense, Ezra and Immanuel 's relationship is very well developed and one can really see how loyal they are to each other. A great option for horror fans.

#july 2021 wrap up #wrap up #dachi reads stuff #dachi rambles #booklr

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champagnesupermama · 6 years ago

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I'm ending a toxic relationship with my parents and sister

On Sunday, September 23, my mother very deliberately started an argument with me. Or, at the very least, chose to tell me that a Facebook post I made about Brett Kavanaugh w toas wrong simply because I used the word fuck in it. She was aggressively contrary and nit-picked everything I said up until she found the opportunity to bring up my Facebook post.

Here is the Facebook post:

When I said it was un-American to believe that a sitting president is above being investigated, she did what all Fox News Watching Trump Fans do: Cry Obama. She complained about how he never got investigated and when I pointed out that he never did anything illegal and that Republicans had the chance to do it for school years she reverted to crying and asking when I became a hater. SECONDS after that, my dad yelled out that Obama is a Nazi N******.

I told them that I was going to let them take care of themselves the rest of the day, that I still loved them, and that I would talk to them later.

I went and told my partner about it, waking him up to do so, and he was supportive and generally perfect. And I told him then that I was pretty emotionally wiped out and at that point I only feared losing their financial support because I've never had their emotional support or approval. And then the concept came about that if they did withdraw that support, that I would be free in a way I hadn't been before. That all the anxiety I had about talking to them or going to see them would be gone because they would have nothing to hold over me any more. And then I started remembering the emotional abuse I went through with them as a child.

I remember:

Any time when I was talking and then any one of them would just interrupt and talk over me like I was on mute. One day when I was 10 or 12 I snapped and tried to assert myself. I think to Angela. I said that everyone always talked over me and it was rude. I’m pretty sure we were at McDonald’s. Everyone was mad at me and told me that it wasn’t true and to shut up. Angela continued.

She, my dad, my sister, brother in law, nieces, and their husbands are all Pro-Trump.

The only time Dad took me out shooting with him and Angela; I was maybe six or seven, very little, I always was. I was holding the box of bullets and I lost my balance trying to get out of the truck and lots of the bullets fell on the ground and Dad just WENT OFF on me and I had to pick them all up. I didn’t get to practice shooting that day or any other with Dad. He never took me out again.

I remember Mom telling me once when I was in my 20s, after I told her I always felt unwanted and isolated by the family that it was because of me. That even as a young child I “didn’t need [them]” I was not equipped at the time to question either to myself or her how or why or when I knew that I had to dissociate from them.

I remember a time when Mom’s aunt Fleta and cousin Anna Lou was visiting and Mom had recently made Angela and I matching dresses and they told her to go put hers on and when she came out they made over how pretty she was. I would have been 8 to 10 years old at the time so Angela was 12 to 14. I got up and went and put mine on and came out. I even did this exaggerated courtesy when I came out. No one said anything to me. At all. I was so embarrassed. I went and sat down and tried to be really still for a long time so that they wouldn’t notice when I got up and went and changed again.

I remember that Angela could go and make up something naughty that I did and they would believe her and I would be punished.

I remember that Angela’s cat was neutered and mine was dumped in the country.

I remember practicing piano when I was six and Mom sat with me and I was very uncertain and slow about the next note to play and she was singing along and she started yelling at me about how a singer would run out of breath and die trying to accompany me.

I remember Mom telling me that everything I was ever interested in doing as a career was something I would fail at because I wasn’t good at it or cut out for it. I remember showing her things I wrote and it was always inadequate, bad, or generally not good enough. The embroidery I did was sloppy. I was a beginner at all these things but I don’t remember encouraging words.

I remember Angela trying to tell me I was adopted because my hair was so light and I didn’t look like Mom or Dad. I look like my dad's mother who died before I was born.

I remember Angela ranting at me about how she was punished with a belt but Mom and Dad never did that to me. She even insinuated that I saw it and laughed. I have no such memory. And I don’t believe that as a toddler I would have laughed if I heard another person crying out in pain.

I remember Angela telling me when she was pregnant with Kristal (I was 12, she was 16) that the reason she acquiesced to sex with Todd was because she needed the attention that everyone gave me.

I remember that my sister is a liar.

I remember Angela telling me that I was Mom’s favorite and she was Dad’s favorite. I remember never feeling like anyone’s favorite.

I see now and have for years that Mom makes multiple quilts a year for assorted family members and has even donated some to the church but she has made 2 for Kirah and 1 for me in my life and that 1 quilt she made for me was one that DeWayne and I picked out when I was pregnant with Kirah. She finished it when Kirah was 11 years old and was upset that I didn’t want it. She couldn’t understand why I wouldn’t want a quilt that I picked out with a man who also emotionally abused me. I mean, of course she couldn’t. On another sewing project for Kirah she took years to complete it. The prints that Kirah had chosen at the age of 6 were no longer so attractive to her when she was 10.

At their 50th wedding anniversary Dad danced with Mom, of course, and Angela. Not me. It’s true that there were technical difficulties with the sound system and that made it late before we could get to these songs. It’s also true that it was later in the evening and people were drawing Dad off to the side to talk to him. It’s also true that no one seemed to have any expectation that Dad would dance with me, and he easily forgot or dismissed any such attention. That happened just a couple of months ago.

I do remember when I painted flowers on a clear glass plate and entered it into a city wide contest when I was 10 or 11 and and didn’t win that Mom felt that I had been robbed because she thought it was a lovely piece. I do remember when I was 27 or so and Byron Boles had tried to accuse me of stealing a ring and my parents believed in me. I do remember them being supportive of me when the bullying I went through in Holy Name reached its peak when I was in the 5th grade and they pulled me out and put me into Longfellow school. I don’t think they knew it was really happening until the teacher was a participant. But these things are minimal requirements for parents and not enough. After all, I felt compelled to ask Dad if he believed I did it because I never could rely 100% on Dad taking my part in something. He never had before.

I remember never feeling like I was loved just for being there and being theirs.

As of 9/30/18 I’m cutting ties. Dad sent me a text that I would have to start paying my student loans again even though they know it will be financially devastating for us. They know I can't even afford health insurance. He says it’s a hardship for them. I guess I can’t blame them. Except I was unsure about going to college anyway because I had no direction and St. Mary's of Leavenworth provided no career counseling or placement, and when I said I wanted to go to a state University, my parents insisted that I remain at the private school. I didn't even know I was signing papers for a loan that would have to be paid back for the first two years. I thought it was student aid. I signed what they told me to.

For anyone who bothered to read all of this, assuming you are also trying to survive or heal from emotional abuse, don't feel guilty for how you are surviving the fall out of that abuse. Don't let yourself feel tied to your abusers for any reason. I have 43 years of experience that whatever kind thing they may be doing for you is just as conditional as any sign of love or affection they have ever given or withheld.

#long post #tw: emotional abuse #tw: emotional manipulation #tw: emotional trauma #toxic family #this fall let something die

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horsepriest · 3 years ago

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I did this meme for Adelie on a whim and to link to her Refsheet page. There is hints towards spoilers for "The Moonlit Path" but none for "A Glimpse Beyond the Illusion."

There is some content warning of general malice and mentions of murder.

Elite Adelie

Basic stats:

Name: Elite Adelie

Gender/Pronouns: Agender she/her

Height: 8 ft with crown

Species: Other-Merged Hirudian Elite

Domain: The Firmament

Sexuality: Undefined

Romance: Undefined

Birthday: Dec. 12

Age: 260

Occupation: She is the Hirudian Elite that oversees all efforts outside of the sphere of Hirud and Light's Landing. Her wing of the military goes off-world to other planets to reap their resources. Her civilian forces mine the asteroid belts and guard them heavily. With her lab nestled in space rock, she is close enough to oversee the extraction processes. However, there is a large facility of hangars on Hirud that is incorporated into her domain. She occupies her time mostly with her experiments with the Other, sapient alien species, and her Liberated.

Weapons: Like all other Elites: innate control of the parasite in nearly every form. This includes her own, the metal plates that form the shell of her body can be molded into weapons she can control tele-empathically. She can, and does, use the Liberated parasite to force Liberated to fight for her- even if they don't want to.

Personality: Aloof, haughty, fickle. Adelie is the highest rank within the Great Hirudian Empire and she knows it. All other beings are below her, beasts or ooze. Adelie likes total control and will do whatever is needed to gain it (even ally with another Elite). Even her experiments are Liberated. She "loves" her experiments, like a person does with pets. This includes her Warlord Gresham. She has raised him from a kit. She indulged his worst impulses and encouraged him to follow through with them. She rewards him for his malice- in a way, she finds it cute.

OC Question Meme

1. How easy is it to make them angry? Do they show their anger or hide it? Extremely easy. Adelie likes everything to be exact to her mysterious specifications and she becomes irritated by anything that does not meet those specifications. Due to the immobility of her face and lack of vocal voice, it is difficult to see or hear her emotions, but it is easy to feel them due to her tele-empathy. She may kill you or take over your Liberation to do her bidding regardless. (In the case of Gresham, she loans him out to other Elites as she knows that is what hurts him most).

2. Do they believe in soulmates? Maybe she did, before becoming an Elite and essentially immortal. Her understanding of companionship has been twisted by her access to extreme power and merging with the Parasite. It has made her manipulative and view others as pawns, beasts, or ooze. Other influence has further twisted her view of the world causing her to lose touch with feelings. The closest thing she feels to “love” is akin to a human’s love for pets, including all the horrible aspects that crops up (breeding for specific traits for aesthetics/the hell of it to the detriment of the being’s health). Gresham is the perfect example of this.

3. Do they have any pet peeves? Disobedience. Disorderliness. Chaos. Anything that is outside of her expectations. While she is familiar with the drawbacks of many of her monsters (such as drool or blood in unsightly places), she prefers sterility. For Gresham, she just holds his jaw shut in her presence. Most others are stored in appropriately sized glass terrariums or aquariums for observation.

4. Do they have a happy place? Somewhere to go to in their heads when they need to relax? Adelie probably does not feel happiness in the same way a mortal could. Such a long life and access to such power and information leaves Elites numb to most emotions. She passively watches her newest experiments when she needs a distraction. She does this by passively accessing the Hirudian collective conscious to access the Parasite’s hivemind (not HiveMind) to watch through janitorial swarms.

5. At what stage of their life were they the happiest? Probably right before Ascension. The process requires being entirely in tune with one’s parasite and exerting one’s will beyond the parasite’s needs. It requires a lot of stubbornness and ambition—typically one ascends when they are at their most powerful, confident, and sure of themselves and thus, typically at their happiest.

6. At what stage of their life were they the least happy? Probably around when she realized that she required the starlight to live initially. Prior to infection, Hirudians are your typical organic-based organism, they don’t naturally require sunlight to function. It is a common frustration when becoming speakers to learn how to be purely diurnal and not require assistance with getting home before the star sets. It is a typical time of mourning of their lives that they have “lost” in the dawning of the new life they face (like many great shifts in life). Perhaps this is what spurred Adelie to become the Star Shunner? It is much easier to protect oneself from the light, than it is to require it.

7. At a bar/tavern/pub are they more likely to buy someone a drink, or have someone buy them a drink?

Adelie is more likely to buy someone else a drink. She cannot drink anymore and lacks a mouth. As for interplanetary negotiations, an expensive drink and hospitality goes a long way. Despite Adelie’s beliefs of her superiority, she knows you catch far, far, far more flies with honey. Or champagne.

8. Have they ever broken any bones? If yes, how?

Ascension is a bloody violent process where the mechanical form tears through the flesh then crushes the organic body under its metal weight. Deep in Adelie’s core, her organic body remains, crushed and unrecognizable by every means. Yet, it is still alive. It will still live long after her “ending” as well.

9. Do they have any memories/experiences they would rather forget? Not really. She does have the ability to remove harmful memories as needed. Also, her long life has numbed her to most of her memories and feelings.

10. What is their favourite memory from their childhood? Her long life has numbed her to most of her memories and feelings.

11. Do they have a “type” they are usually attracted to? Bestial, mutated, and as changed from their natural form as possible. She tends to pick larger specimens, breeding them into a much larger form if needed (usually artificially except for Vactyr).

12. Do they have any favourite possessions? Probably Gresham. He is her show pony, a prime example of her skill in bioengineering and in raising a horribly loyal war machine. He is a monstrous titan that is wrapped around the smallest finger of her smallest hand; he is utterly under her control under his own will—Liberation is just a cherry on top.

13. Do they have any tattoos? If no, would they ever consider getting one? At her present form, she is incapable of receiving tattoos. Not that she would want one anyways.

14. Do they have any piercings? If no, would they ever consider getting one? At her present form, she is incapable of having a piercing. Not that she would want one anyways.

15. What is their dream house like? They already live in it. An isolated asteroid containing all her active experiments and a handful of personal servants to assist her.

16. What is something about them that people would not expect just by looking at them? She is a lot more reactive emotionally than she looks, and her mind is a lot more active than she seems. Adelie is focused on her experiments far away while also handling matters requiring her attention.

17. How good are they at choosing gifts for others? In terms of impressing a potential business partner, she is exceptionally good at selecting things to do and give that feel extravagant and luxurious. However, for those she “cares” about, the gifts are not quite gifts. She will only give something that will benefit her. For instance, she rewards Gresham with the opportunity to torture others to his content for being a good Warlord.

18. Do they have a certain skill that they are particularly proud of? She can survive in the dark, unlike the rest of the infected Hirudians. She can somewhat controlthe Other, as much as one can at least. Her military wing is also running tightly and without direct need of her control; much unlike the crust, which is a mess and is out of control. (Adelie and Argiope have some tension between them)

19. How would a stranger they just met describe them? Intimidating, ethereal, alien. Interacting with an Elite is much like interacting with a biblical angel. Only, they are okay with you being afraid.

20. How would a close friend they have known for a long time describe them? Stuck up, aloof, perfectionist, a bitch, etc. The other Elites do not like her, but honestly, the Elites do not like each other overall.

21. Do they have any personal insecurities? Not really. She is comfortable in the fact that her minions will not revolt and issues in the home world do not bother her much at all.

22. What is their highest physical stat? (Strength, stamina, defense, speed, etc.) and their highest non-physical stat? (Intelligence, perception, charisma, luck, etc.)? Physical: Stamina. She is a machine infused with the mysteries of the universe- there is not anything that could stop her if she really wanted something. Non-physical: intelligence.

23. How would they react to finding out someone lied to them, even if it were for their own safety/well-being? She would get the truth out of you. Lying shows too much free will and that will not do.

24. Do they prefer cold weather or warm weather? Adelie does not really mind any temperature but keeps her lab cold.

25. How easy is it for them to say, “I love you”? Easy, too easy. It is as sincere as an abusive pet parent saying I love you to their pet though.

26. How easy is it for them to tell someone about their worries? Others would be able to feel her worries around her, there would not be really any question of what is bothering her. Adelie probably talks to herself in her lab.

27. Have they ever witnessed someone die? She has killed people in unique and messed up ways. So yes.

28. Are they ticklish? No.

29. How high/low is their pain tolerance? Exceedingly high. She is a machine at this point.

30. Is there something they secretly wish they could do but are too afraid to? Probably take a vacation. Adelie is a bit of an introvert and the Hirudian collective consciousness is probably low-key torture.

31. Are they a messy eater or a neat eater? Adelie is currently incapable of eating like an organic being. Mysteries of how Elites consume resources has not been determined yet, but Adelie is probably neat with the process.

32. What moment of their life made them feel most unloved? As she is so detached from every other being, Adelie probably does not feel very loved as is. Everything around her is either working against her or is a servant of hers. Not that she cares.

33. What moment of their made them feel most loved? If she paid attention, it would be in how Gresham adores her and cares for her. But she does not care.

34. Which of the senses would they hate to lose the most: vision, hearing, smell, taste, or touch? I have good authority to say that she will probably hate it when she loses pretty much everything.

35. Are they good at small talk? Adelie does not engage in small talk; she will steer such conversations back to important matters.

36. If they could ask anyone one question and get the absolute truth, who and what would they ask? She would ask the “powers that be” if her trust in the Other will betray her someday.

37. If they had the chance, would they prefer to travel to the past or to the future? If she knew what is in her future, she would go into the past.

38. Who had the biggest impact in their life, both positive and negative?

A mix of the parasite and the Other. She became an Elite due to the parasite and became more powerful through merging with the Other.

39. Would they rather life a life always surrounded by people, or always alone? Always alone.

40. Is there anyone or anything that immediately instills fear in them? There is a moment in the story she feels terror for the first time since she became an Elite—It’s when Gresham chooses to stay with her.

#oc meme #the moonlit path

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thegamblingsites · 4 years ago

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Traditional Summer Camps - Frequently Asked Questions, Answered

Positive summer day camp or overnight summer camp encounters can be of enormous advantage to your kid's turn of events. While at a conventional summer camp, either a summer day camp or overnight summer camp, youngsters find out about themselves, figure out how to be more autonomous, are required to satisfy hopes and help out more youthful campers.

A decent customary summer camp program can help increment a youngster's confidence, instruct them regard for other people, empower them to learn self-confidence, and furthermore learn the resistance of others. Living in a gathering circumstance, as in an overnight summer camp, campers figure out how to acknowledge contrasts like race, strict convictions, and social contrasts. The two sorts of conventional summer camps offer advantages that will assist your youngsters with developing and develop and expand their perspectives.

At the point when you get a customary summer camp's pamphlet, you will perpetually have inquiries for the camp chief about the camp's way of thinking just like that of the chief. From that first call or potentially visit the site, you start building up an impression of what a specific customary summer camp resembles and how it's run.

A conventional summer camps 2021 online might be portrayed in nothing not exactly gleaming terms in its pamphlets. The setting can be totally stunning. Exercises offered by the camp may run the range from racquetball to current dance. Eventually, nonetheless, it's the human condition of how those exercises are worked and directed that decides the nature of the summer day camp or overnight summer camp program. Recall the advertising materials for conventional summer camps are intended to make you need to send your youngster there!

Become acquainted with the camp chief as an individual through phone discussions, correspondence and if conceivable, an individual visit. Have the chief portray the camp's way of thinking and how it is completed by the staff. See whether you have the alternative of sending your youngster for summer day camp or overnight summer camp. Ask how long the chief has been at that camp and furthermore discover the complete number of years the person has functioned as a conventional summer camp chief.

The amount Is It Going To Cost?

Perhaps the greatest inquiry confronting guardians when they consider sending a youngster to a conventional summer camp is the expense. The expense of a customary summer camp, regardless of whether a summer day camp or overnight summer camp, can be generous particularly if there is more than a camp-age kid. American Camping Association certifies for the time being summer camps and summer day camps offer value reaches to fit each financial plan. While not generally the situation, if a non-customary summer camp is intended for an exceptionally particular gathering of campers, it very well might be more costly than conventional summer camps, which are additionally regularly called experience camps.

The expense of a conventional summer camp each week will likely additionally consider along with how long of summer day camp or overnight summer camp your child(ren) will join in. The American Camping Association reports the among its licensed camps, both summer day camps and overnight summer camps, the costs for seven days of summer day camp or overnight summer camp reaches from $75 each week to $650 each week.

There are a few different ways to set aside cash, regardless of whether it isn't clear from perusing the camp pamphlet or visiting the camp's site.

The principal question you ought to find out if monetary help is accessible to help finance the educational cost costs. It's normal for a wide range of summer day camps and overnight summer camps to save a specific number of spots for families who may not in any case have the option to stand to send their youngster to conventional summer camp. In the event that they don't offer to sponsor the full expense of the camp meeting, they may pay part of it.

Despite the fact that grants for customary summer camp projects are typically accessible based on need, there might be extra unclaimed sponsored spots which the camp will permit your youngster to fill. You will not know, however, except if you inquire. In the event that you are wanting to get a grant or other kind of monetary help, it's a smart thought to apply ahead of schedule before every one of the spaces are taken.

Another approach to save money on the expense of conventional summer camp is to see whether unique limits are accessible. Regularly summer day camps or overnight summer camps will offer a limited educational cost for early enlistment, for kin going to a similar camp, or for marking your kid up for a specific meeting of the summer camp program. Once more, in the event that you don't ask, you will not understand what your alternatives are.

What is remembered for the educational cost?

Commonly, transportation is incorporated as a feature of the expense for summer day camps. Inhabitant or overnight summer camps may offer transportation from a focal area or may require the campers to be conveyed to the camping area. On the off chance that the overnight summer camp program incorporates trips, motion pictures, clothing administration, café, unique gear or different expenses, see whether they are remembered for the expense, if your need to pay a different extra charge, or in the event that you ought to send additional cash with your youngster to camp.

What is the discount strategy?

Discount arrangements differ significantly from one camp to another. A few discounts cover just the disease of the youngster, while some will give an absolute discount on the off chance that it is mentioned before a specific date. A few camps may return everything except an enrollment or managerial expense and some may not offer discounts by any stretch of the imagination.

What is the camp's way of thinking and program accentuation?

Each conventional summer camp has its own technique for building programs dependent on its way of thinking. Does it supplement your own nurturing reasoning? Are the exercises at the summer day camp or overnight summer camp important to your youngster? Numerous conventional summer camps effectively advance rivalry and sound competition among camp groups, as reflected in group activities. For some campers this is unadulterated fun. A few guardians feel that figuring out how to be cutthroat at an early age shows fundamental abilities to survive. Notwithstanding, different guardians and instructors are supportive of helpful learning. Examination has shown that noncompetitive strategies urge youngsters to find out additional, hold it longer, and create more noteworthy confidence and appreciation for other people. Knowing your kid's character and way of learning is important in choosing the correct summer day camp or overnight summer camp.

What is the camp chief's experience?

American Camping Association (ACA) least norms suggest chiefs have a four year certification, have finished in-administration preparing inside the previous three years, and have in any event four months of camp authoritative experience prior to accepting the obligations of chief.

What preparing do guides get?

At the very least, camp staff ought to be prepared in security guidelines, crisis methodology and correspondence, conduct the board strategies, kid misuse avoidance, suitable staff and camper conduct, and explicit systems for management. Frequently conventional summer camp instructors are understudies pursuing certificates in different games related and human administrations fields.

What is the guide to-camper proportion?

ACA norms require various proportions for fluctuating ages and unique necessities. By and large, the proportions at for the time being summer camps range from one staff for each six campers ages 7 and 8; one staff for each eight campers ages 9 to 14; and one staff for each 10 campers ages 15 to 17. At day camps the proportions range from one staff for each eight campers ages 6 to 8; one staff for each 10 campers ages 9 to 14; and one staff for each 12 campers ages 15 to 17.

What are the times of the guides?

ACA principles suggest that 80% or a greater amount of the advising/program staff be at any rate 18 years of age. Staff should be in any event 16 years of age and be at any rate two years more seasoned than the campers with whom they work.

The number and sorts of projects a specific conventional summer camp offers may likewise affect the periods of the guides. Scholarly camps and another claim to fame camps may require camp instructors to have a specific degree of schooling or a number of long stretches of involvement or preparation.

Which level of the guides got back from a year ago?

Most conventional summer camps have from 40-60 percent bringing staff back. In the event that the rate is lower, discover the reasons why there is certainly not a higher number of staff who get back to work at the camp every year.

How are social and disciplinary issues dealt with?

Are the social assumptions obviously spread out and accessible to the camper's progress over time? They ought to likewise be checked on with the campers on the main day of camp. It's likewise imperative to know the disciplinary advances that will be taken for infringement of the standards.

What is the style and character of the camp chief? What amount of power do the camp instructors have? These are immeasurably significant inquiries to pose since you need to be certain the camp conduct principles and disciplinary arrangements are a solid match for your youngster and your family.

Imagine a scenario where a kid turns out to be sick, is harmed, or has an exceptional need.

See whether prepared clinical workforce are inhabitant in the camp consistently, particularly overnight summer camps. An attendant or other clinical expert will actually want to tell if a physical issue is not kidding and requires more escalated clinical consideration. You'll need an expert accessible if a youngster turns out to be sick or needs clinical consideration in the evening.

On the off chance that your kid has sensitivities or is insulin-subordinate, there ought to be an assigned spot for the drug to be put away in a bolted compartment. It ought to be directed simply via prepared staff. On the off chance that your kid requires a unique eating routine, see whether the camp is capable or able to oblige their dietary necessities. Some unacceptable responses to any of these contemplations can be conceivably dangerous.

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nerdytranswoman · 7 years ago

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NSFW ask! those questions......... alllll of them.

1. Are looks important in a relationship?

Not sure. I tend to follow my gut when i meet people, so maybe there's some subconscious thoughts? But Personally, I’d say not, since I actively seek out thoughts on looks in order to change them by thinking “what if that was you?”.

2. Are relationships ever worth it?

Yes. Yes they are. I feel so good when I click with a group of people, but when I find that one I can spend 100% of my time/energy with, they are all i need.

3. Are you a virgin?

haha, whats that?

4. Are you in a relationship?

Not in any I like, thats for sure. (samy, shut up. you got your family/live under the same roof, i want mine.)

5. Are you in love?

yes.

6. Are you single this year?

yeah. ish.

7. Can you commit to one person?

I can, and I have before.

8. Describe your crush

Smart, funny, nerdy, loves to talk with me, but even the silence in eachothers company was amazing, seeing the stars/moon reminds me of her every night. 9. Describe your perfect mate

^up there.

10. Do you believe in love at first sight?

mmm, yes? people are people, and sometimes they just... click!

11. Do you ever want to get married?

Yes, but not for government benefits. For Love.

12. Do you forgive betrayal?

No, not without a VERY good explanation with proof.

13. Do you get jealous easily?

Yes. bitch, I know I ordered the salad, but I’d cheat on it with your burger anyday.

other than that, no.

14. Do you have a crush on anyone?

Yes.

15. Do you have any piercings?

Yes. Yes I do. ;p

16. Do you have any tattoos?

yes. 27 if you count individual letters separately.

17. Do you like kissing in public?

If it’s someone I love, then the world can fuck off as I make out with them in the middle of the mall.

20. Do you shower every day?

I try to, but water conservation/depression sometimes get in the way.

21. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

Yup. I’m cute as heck, so unless you’re Ace, I assume you have feelings for me.

22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

Probably. Do parents ever not think about their kid?

23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

Easily.

24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

Well, I was engaged last year, so who knows! Maybe!

25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year?

Yes, of course. I’m sick of my heart breaking tho.

26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?

Yes. I didn't think it would be that bad till I lost them.

27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you?

mmm, nope.

28. Have you ever been cheated on?

Kinda? I’ve been lied to in the middle of a break with an understanding we would use the break to improve our relationship.

29. Have you ever cheated on someone?

Never.

30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body?

Yup. Besides the standard surgery, I want to modify my body with augmentable mechanical limbs!31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?

Every day.

32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love?

Yes.

33. Have you ever had sex with a man?

Yup. Hated it.

34. Have you ever had sex with a woman?

Yup. Loved all of them. wait, no scratch that, still love them all even if our lives are going in two different directions now.

35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

Yes. Yes I have.

36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends?

Liked? LIKED??!?! I love her. RIP, Alex. I miss you.

37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

Yup. first gf. she was manipulative and my friends told me, but I wouldn't listen.

38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

Yes. First time I met them I was scared shitless, but now I’m pretty sure that person would fight for me if someone was a big enough of a dick to me.

39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

Yes, everyday for two years now.

40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone?

haha, yes! but none of you’ll ever hear it!

41. Have you had sex so far this year?Yes, though not as much as my newfound horniness would like me to be having.

42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander?

Umm, depends? Sometimes kissing doesn't start till after the wandering?

43. How long was your longest relationship?

3 years.

44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?

Umm, I’ve dated a lot, but in terms of actual relationships? 5.

45. How many people did you kiss in 2012/2013?

Nobody. That’s when I was coming out of the closet to myself.

46. How many times did you have sex last year?

I had a partner then, so...

47. How old are you?

Im currently a Quarter of a century old. How about that?

48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

“Awesome! go get that skan... Skilled tuba player, im assuming.”

49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her?

Currently not applicable. But I do like the intelligence and depth of conversation I’ve had with partners.

50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?

No. That ship has sailed.

51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for?

Yes.

52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why?

A girl named Glenni. She told me she was Ace, but I will admit it took a little longer than that to stop pining for her. 53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?

A few people don’t like my on-again/off-again/complex relationship with a gal in Monterey.

54. Is there someone you will never forget?

Alex.

55. Share a relationship story.

Watching the sunset on the beach slowly turn into a hamburger because of the clouds. We also had a picnic and I made vegan cheese for her sandwich! Idk what happened, but sadly we are no longer together.

56. State 8 facts about your body

Soft, Squishy, blonde leg/arm hair that makes me look shaved even after 8 months, a scar on my nose, a scar on my arm, crazy strength, shit stamina, gets wet at the beach.

57. Things you want to say to an ex

Fuck you for messing me up so badly that when I met the next person to make me feel even happier, I chickened out out of fear I’d lose them.

58. What are five ways to win your heart?

Food, Conversational compatibility, cuddles, Adventures, ability to enjoy eachothers company in silence.59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!)

Here

60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners?

7 years. that's the extreme I’m willing to date.

61. What is the first thing you notice in someone?

Eyes, usually. Not color or shape, but how they express themselves, if that makes sense.

62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?

I’d say something special that shows me how much they care for me.

63. What is your definition of “having sex”?

Um, pretty much whatever you do with you and your partners genitals i guess?

64. What is your definition of cheating?

Seeing someone else in a relationship/sexual capacity without my knowledge.

65. What is your favourite foreplay routine?

Teasing, followed by light touching.

66. What is your favourite roleplay?

BDSM, Brat vs Dom. I’ll let you guess what role I like to play. ;p

67. What is your idea of the perfect date?

Lots of cuddling, movies, and food all at home followed by sexytimes maybe?

68. What is your sexual orientation?

Gay. women are just so hot.

69. What turns you off?

Lots of things. but being mean is pretty high up there.

70. What turns you on?

Cheezy romantic crap directed at me.

71. What was your kinkiest wet dream?

Giving my partner complete (consensual and trusting with a safeword) control for them to do whatever they want with me.

72. What words do you like to hear during sex?

...

”Good girl.”

73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you?

Take me out for fancy food.

74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for?

Weight. I dont like too skinny or too heavy, but someone with a healthy looking amount of chub I can become immediately attracted to.

75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?

Flew out to visit me. We shared one kiss.

76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone?

Idk, I like to think im pretty sweet to most people in general, but I don't know what the sweetest thing I’ve done for someone is.

77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?

if you’re not in your teens, don't date a teen. Otherwise, keep it within a decade to minimize incompatibility brought about by slight differences in culture growing up, especially in this technological age where it seems every six months there’s a new generation influencing the world. My limit is 7 years.

78. What’s your dirtiest secret?

Ever sucked a girls dick on a beach under a new moon? I have.

79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why?

A few days ago. She’s just better than me in every way it seems.

80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

yesterday?

81. Who are five people you find attractive?

Me, samy, rain, glenni, alex

82. Who is the last person you hugged?

um, my therapist. A new one that i can very easily open up too, and apparently the feelings I’ve shared with her made her want to hug me at the end of our session.

83. Who was your first kiss with?

NOBODY. thats who.

she ded 2 me.

84. Why did your last relationship fail?

I have no clue. I thought things were going well, but then she told me she wanted to end things romanticly. I accepted, because why not? I don't want to force someone to be with me that doesn't want to. But I do worry it was something i said, something I did.

85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet?

haha, how do you think i find gf’s?

#geeze #this took forever #ask #Anonymous

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