#They didn't even really propose it as a sad thing necessarily but it did make me a bit like :(

[shikai-the-storyteller]

Listening to some Just Rolled With It stuff while I'm cooking, and I got to the episode (#65) where randomly they all start sharing small compliments they've received from strangers that they've carried with them for the rest of their lives and meant a lot to them and I'm like :(

It makes me a little sad to hear, especially since I know dudes in particular (at least here in the US / my region) don't typically receive tons of compliments.

[wordsaladbitchezz]

Agatha x Grief

I have seen a bunch of posts etc talking about after Nicky's death Agatha keeps killing for herself to continue outrunning death, so she isn't next etc which I don't think is necessarily wrong but I think it's boring and not as emotionally devastating as it could be. So I would like to propose my own sad headcannons regarding Agatha's continued killing of covens -

• Her continuing to kill in some ways being a form of lashing out at Rio, but also kind of a desperate bargaining despite knowing it's too late. You know kind of in the way that someone giving the silent treatment is painfully loud - I'm going to keep on doing stuff in such away that you are going to have to deal/interact with it but I am very deliberately going to not acknowledge you during it. 

• It also being in some ways Agatha not wanting to let go of what's between them and keeping Rio close but also at a distance. In that its a way of interacting with Rio that she gets to feel in control of and she desperately wants Rio but she also needs that sense of control and can't really forgive or face her.

• Nicky really being all that was important to Agatha and how the need to constantly kill to keep him alive was her primary drive and purpose, and following the loss of him her life is in some ways a meaningless void of grief so she just keeps going through the motions of doing what she wants doing because it gives her some sense of purpose/normalacy. It's rearranging the deckchairs on the titanic because it's what you are meant to do/have always done, so you might as well keep doing it even though it no longer matters just to try and have that sense of routine.

• I also think that she likes making herself the villain just to try and feel something. 

• She thinks it's better to be considered a monster than broken so she becomes a monster. She can't stand the idea of being pityed because that would make her emotionally exposed, and she would much rather be feared than in any way emotionally vulnerable. And I think that's such a real experience and so true to her character in general in the way that pity and grief can make you feel so small and helpless. And that desire to do whatever just to feel like you have power and are in control

• Maybe Rios apologies/pity/shared grief is one of the things that makes her want to lash out and just keep killing, because Rio is the only person that truly sees or understands her and she can't stand anyone seeing how broken she is. 

• I also like the idea that Rio would visit the morning after Nicky's death to apologise/comfort Agatha, which the grieving and clearly so emotionally well adjusted in general Agatha would not handle well.  And that the anger and anguish in that interaction would have really well led in to that first killing she did post Nicky's death.

Bonus: 

• I like the idea of Rio visiting once a year either on Nicky's birthday or the anniversary of his death, because she knows it's when Agatha feels most alone and also something something her thoughts being so close to death even though she is stilled angry at death. And in general Agatha being angry towards Rio and lashing out in these meetings but it's really just a manifestation of her grief and she much prefers Rio being there than being alone, especially since Rio is the only other person who knew or cared for Nicky shares Agatha's sense of loss about him. And usually these meetings happening by some body of water because I just like the imagery of it. Especially the Moon on the water, that would be good.

• Also she's a freak and just likes killing people and stealing their power, which yknow I respect, I will defend her wrongs but this point didn't really fit with the rest of the above

[starryseth]

Attention Grabber

Seth Borden x Reader

Sam, Colby, Nate, Seth and Reader are doing an investigation. What happens when the Reader faints by Seth?

Content: established relationship between Reader and Seth, mentions of murder, evil beings, harm to people, sickly but mostly fluff for Seth.

If any of these things mentioned above makes you feel bad or something along those lines, please click away

Sam, Colby, Nate, Seth and I walked around the Villisca Ace Murder House before Sam and Colby started their video. The house had a very dark entity and it did well to make itself known. Even during just the tours during the day the guide explained that people would get scratched, pulled and sick.

"When we initially walked into the house I was like okay it's creepy in here, little spooky but I'm fine. When we went upstairs, it wasn't when we went into the parents room, it's when we walked into the kids room, I felt the same feeling in my back that I felt when I had that experience at the seance at the conjuring house when I got an attachment. When a spirit is trying to attach itself to you it starts by making like a back pain in the bottom of your spine and it goes all the way up. That's legit what I felt and I just felt that same thing upstairs." Seth begins their video by explaining how he felt during the tour.

"That's crazy because I noticed the shadows around you but didn't say anything because they didn't seem ill intentioned. There were three around us in the kids room and were trying to play. I don't necessarily think that they were trying to attach themselves per say but they did look very curious." I told the boys what I saw when we were touring. They all looked a little scared when I was finished but they nervously laughed it off. I thought it was hilarious because the kid spirits were super friendly. Yes they had a bit of sadness and anger but they were residual emotions from the murder.

"I definitely felt like how I did during the conjuring house." Colby added onto what Seth told us.

"To be quite honest when I was like alright we're gonna go to these haunted houses, alright, but compared to like Hell Week we're chilling. After all of these stories and interviews we've done today I'm like thinking this might be one of the more scary places we've actually been to" Sam confessed to us.

"Seriously it feels like it too." Colby responded.

"This feels like you walk into the room and there is a psychic oppression. I noticed (y/n)s shift of mood really quick." Nate noted. I got nervous for a second because I hadn't even realized I did that.

" I'm not trying to hype this place up for the camera. I'm being so serious right now, like I have not felt that feeling since I had thy experience. " Seth chimed in. Reconfirming that this house was full of bitter emotions.

"He said that this house was actually known for physical touch, scratches and things happening. Most paranormal occurrences are like sounds or like you see apparitions. This is physical it's different." Sam pointed out. He was right. Most paranormal occurrences don't result in poltergeist activity.

"Oh and what's freaky is its not even the axe murder that's freaky. It's the fact that there's an energy that's been here for a long time. But that entity is still here. So that technically means that the murder is still here. " Nate pointed out.

"You guys all have great points. Now let's see if we can get anything. But we have to remember, we were told that this entity, spirit, being, whatever you may call it. It is a trickster. We may not come to the official conclusion like we hope. " I commented. The boys all agreed but we are all in the best spirits to keep hope that we can help shed some bit of light on the story.

Time skip to after the attic Estes Method

"That was crazy. I feel like it's still with us. Maybe we should try to go down to the guest room to do another one. I feel sick being up here. Something definitely wants us to leave." I proposed. The boys agreed luckily and we left the attic. I was feeling dizzy. "I think I am gonna get sick. I need to sit." I announced. Seth looked very concerned. I grabbed ahold of his hand and sat down. I was about to talk about how I wanted to just leave because something wasn't right when the music box started going off. I stood up really quick because I was sitting right by it.

"It's like something was waiting for us to come down here. I feel genuinely sick being in this room. " Seth muttered.

"I agree. But I think it wanted us to retrace its steps. I think it's playing with us again. " Sam frowned. He was right. I looked towards the door again. I could see the figure there. It was then that I got a throbbing head pain. Not quite like a headache. It was way worse. My vision went blurry and then eventually went black.

When I woke up I was confused. My head was in a lap and my hair was being played with. I turned onto my back and saw Seth smiling at me. He looked so cute.

"You fainted straight into my arms. You know, if you wanted my attention that bad you could have just asked for it, you didn't have to go to such extremes. " Seth smiled when I looked away blushing.

"I wasn't trying to faint but we do need to get out soon. Did you guys get anything when I was out?" I questioned trying to change the subject. The boys nodded.

"Yes. I don't think you'll believe this but it couldn't be the rival because he was out of town. If we are thinking logical then it was Paul because of the identical crime scenes. If we are thinking more spiritually then it is the reverend. When we did the Estes method, the answers it would give us were too perfect. It would give us a trail and then cut us off. " Nate indicated that the spirit continued to mess with them.

"In any case I think we should leave. I know that we technically haven't come to a conclusion but the ghost wants us gone and I have a feeling the next attack won't be as kind to you guys. " I voiced nervously. Seth helped me up and we gathered our equipment up.

"Hey (y/n) have you scratched your leg recently?" Colby inquired. I shook my head as I looked down. I had three long claw-like marks from the outside of my calf leading to the top of my shoe.

"Ya let's get out of here quickly. Thank you for communicating with us but you may not follow us. You may not attach yourself to us. You have to stay here. " I headed towards the door and the boys followed me. "Thank you again Seth for helping me. I appreciate it." I confessed to him.

"It's honestly not a problem. I didn't want to see you get hurt. " he leaned down and kissed me.

"Awe what a cute way to end a horrifying video." Sam chuckled

[lucinatta]

GIRL OK I'm going to vent. If u want to read that'd be great cause I want to know if I'm in the wrong here lol. It's long tho so no need <3

Last monday was my birthday, it's a sucky day to have as a bday so what I did was invite my friends over for dinner on sunday, wait till midnight, blow the candles, eat some cake, open presents, and send everyone on their way at about 1 am so all of us could sleep relatively early. These were like, my "important" birthday plans, because they happened on my actual birthday. I invited my closest friends + 2 girls my friends have been dating for about 7/8 months, because a) I like them! and b) I knew they were spending that weekend over at my friends' places anyway so bringing them was easier than not.

Context for later: The 2 friends with the girlfriends are male, those are the only 2 partners that are external to the friend group, there's 9 of us, and we've been friends for about 10 years.

Anyway, so when I set that plan up on the gc, I explicitly asked both my friends to bring their girlfriends. They told me they would, they did, everything went great. After sunday's plan, I proposed we go out to dinner and then for drinks this saturday so I could have like proper bday plans that don't get cut short because everyone has to get up early for work. Everyone said they could come. Great, no issues so far.

Issues start yesterday, in a gc I'm NOT in that my friends made so they could discuss my present for sunday + a surprise cake (that now I know about lol) for saturday. This is not uncommon, we have bday groupchats for everyone in the group. One of my friends (girl) proposes the surprise cake, and apparently one of my male friends says that his gf can make the cake (as a gift) because she works as a baker. My friend (girl) says that it's not a good idea, since it be weird to have her make a cake for a plan she's not invited to. Apparently this caught both my male friends off guard, because they were under the impression that both their gfs were invited and had already told them about the plan. Now, to be clear, I didn't invite them and at no point did I imply they were invited. Not necessarily because I didn't want them there specifically, but rather because I wanted a night out with just my friends. These 2 girls come to a lot of our plans as a group, but when they do it's because we either tell them to, or our friends ask if they can come. NEITHER OF THESE 2 THINGS HAPPENED!! I want to clarify though, I didn't and still don't feel strongly about them not coming, and if it had been up to me, I would have liked both my friends to reach out to me and let me know that they had misunderstood, that they thought the girls were invited and that they had already invited them, and I would have told them to bring them!! like it really wasn't a big deal. Instead they got upset and told their girlfriends that they couldn't come because I DIDN'T WANT THEM THERE, which sounds sooooo much more drastic than what it actually is. So I find myself in a very shitty situation with NO WARNING (because again, this started in a gc I'M NOT IN!!!), when one of my friends sends me this really long message about how sad and hurt he is and asking me if I'm mad a him or his gf or whatever, and how he had hoped that I would think of her as my friend after all this time. To clarify she's not my friend, she's my friend's gf (that I really like!!), and "all this time" is 8 months lmao. Now these 2 girls think that I hate them, and I have to apologize for something I DIDN'T DOOOOOO. Like this wasn't my misunderstanding, I wasn't even on the gc!! and like what options do I have, realistically? Telling them to backtrack and invite them back gives major "you can come, IF YOU WANT" vibes and I hate that, and telling them that, no, they're not invited sounds like I don't like them or want them there. Like both my options suck.

Things have smoothed over now with my friends but I know they're mad about their gfs being hurt and SO AM I but like, it's not my fault!!! They (my friends) assumed they (their gfs) were invited when they weren't!! But again, it wasn't something I felt strongly about! like honest to god idk why they didn't just tell me they had invited them because they thought they were invited before stirring the pot behind my back. Now everything's a mess and things are tense because the rest of the gc sided with me. And I'm not gonna lie I'm kinda mad that they made this my problem on my bday week. Like couldn't you have waited a week to bring it up?? Anyway that's it lmao

[mikimeiko]

Ok, so, thoughts on Ted Lasso finale and on season 3 as a whole:

Ted going back to Kansas was always the only possible ending. He has a son! He had a dad who abandoned him in the worst possible way and fucked him up, he HAD to go back to his son! (and no, Henry moving to London was not the best solution. Even if Michelle was actually ok with moving as well for some reason, uprooting your kid is not… the best move.)

(And sorry but I don't really agree with "Ted is leaving is support system in England!" and even less with the idea that he has built a found family there. He integrated in the community to a point, and he started doing it on day 1. And he has good, strong work relationships with all the people at Richmond. But! Most of the time when he is outside of work is either with Beard or by himself. He accepted Rebecca's help with that first panic attack, but he never reached out to her (or anyone else outside of doctor Sharon - who is a professional) in moments of distress. He made himself available to the people around him, but it's always been kind of unidirectional. (Ted has a wall around his core. He started chipping away at it in therapy but I would say that for now it's all very internal, he's really not ready to share. "It's just like I… It's like I'm scared sometimes to, like… to get close to that little boy. 'Cause I know he's gonna leave." This is about Henry, but it's really not just about Henry). So anyway, yes the show could have handled it better - maybe even just showing us a scene of Ted in Kansas going around with saying hello to everyone like he did in London, to let us KNOW that he is also present in that community, but anyway it doesn't feel so jarring to me). Also: I don't think going back to where you came from is necessarily a regression.

Staying in Kansas for a bit, I hated the Dr Jacob storyline. It made no sense, it was unpleasant and had no point, and I hated it.

I loved that Rebecca almost sold the team and then realized that she could be a force of change in a better direction for the game. I loved the fact that she sold the shares to the fan, I LOVED Keleey proposing a women's team because it felt SO RIGHT. I didn't particularly like the idea that they paralleled these choices to motherhood, because it's the stupidest idea ever, I'm sorry but just no. Also: I'm very sad that dutch man came back. I profoundly enjoyed the idea that Rebecca could have had that one night out of place and out of time, that it had a profound impact on her and changed the trajectory of her life a bit, while staying contained to that one night. Instead it turned into a love at first sight, happily ever after story. Ok, then? Sorry, not as interesting.

I'm so sad and upset and disappointed by how they handled Nate. I hated that it went from episode one (in which he was end-of-season-2 Nate, bitter and cocky in his new position) to episode four and he was old Nate again? Funny, clever, sweet, a little shy, basically full of love. What?! When did this happen? Where's the "be careful what you wish for cause it may come true"? Where's the disillusionment in Rupert and that kind of club culture? Where's the realization that what Nate thought would make him happy was actually not what he wanted at all? Where's the fight to make things change? ARGH. Also: that ending? Coming back to Richmond to be Will's number 2? What is going on. (I enjoyed A LOT every bit with his family. The conversation with his father! So tender.)

Also Keeley. I don't know, she felt so lost and then she actually lost everything (but it was because of her relationship with Jack) and then she didn't actually lose everything (but it was because of her relationship with Rebecca) and? Also Shandy's storyline was such a shame, when it could have been about finding the right balance to be the boss of your friend in a way that made you both shine more. But even though I liked her with Roy and hoped they would go back together (I also would have found the throuple interesting), I appreciate that her endgame was not, after all, a relationship. She's happy and she's thriving with her new weird, bloodthirsty coworker/friend and that's good to see.

Roy was so uneven. I have no words. I'm sad. I cried when he learned to ride a bike with Jaime, and at his Diamond Dogs speech. I wish they could have found a better way to show that unlearning shit and changing is hard.

Jamie definitely had the longest, better executed arc of the season and of the show (only Rebecca's is comparable). I hated him and now he is my precious bean. I actually loved Ted's speech on the field of letting go of the rage and the hate for his father for himself. I'm not enraged that they showed him reconnecting with his father, but I would have liked that part more if he hadn't immediately reached out to him (it was not supposed to be about his father).

What was Zava doing there in the first half of the season? I really thought that a character like him could have had a better story. But the answer I found is this: they needed that part when the team keeps losing to get to the revelation of total football with Jamie as the director; but they also needed Richmond to have enough points to almost win the whole fucking thing. So they got a star player that got them (alone, with no need to integrate into the team) to the top of the league, and then they made him leave suddenly. At least they made him more interesting that I thought he would be in the beginning.

Sam was also relegated to a much minor role this season (on one hand, the show has a big cast, and if you want some secondary characters to have more space - I'm thinking of Colin especially - you have to take out something else; but on the other, this could have been handled better). "His" episode felt so empty that you could take it out without changing much of the narrative structure of the season. His father was everything we thought he would be and more, and kudos for him not being a Ted-like character.

I kinda wished they would have ignored Rupert after the Akufo episode. I hated that they were showing his human side, but at the end of the episode I thought they were actually going for a very clever choice: he was this larger than life villain in Rebecca's mind, but in the end he's just an aging man, losing power and influence, fading out of everyone's memory. But no, they had to have the wife and mistress rebellion, the re-evilification, the loss of control, the crowd yelling "wanker" at him. I get the parallel, but I don't like it.

I am actually quite happy at Tedbecca not being canon. They had this amazing connection, they changed each other (though as I said above… it was mostly Ted changing Rebecca, not so much the other way around), their relationship was a life altering event. And it was NOT romantic. Sorry not sorry but I love this. I love a show that says that you don't have to be in love to love someone.

Also in general the season felt a little cartoonish. The characters were always on the brink of being caricatures of themselves (and, in the case of the himbos, many times it was not just being on the brink). Amazingly poignant moments followed by silly jokes or wildly out of characters stuff.

I watched the season finale on my way to work wednesday morning because I just couldn't wait. When the episode ended I was crying on a bench, filled with emotion. I know that probably reading what I wrote above it seems like I disliked a lot of things, but I also didn't? There were a lot of good things as well. A lot of love. This show will always have a special place in my heart, no matter the disappointments.

I just wish they could make a season 2 and 3 that fulfilled the promise of season 1. But I also think it was nearly impossible because… season 1 was written pre-covid. It was a different world.

[aii-staff-tani]

Which canon character does your OC not respect at all? Why?

Does your OC love anyone? (generally, although he seems pretty fond of everyone so far)

What is the worst thing your OC does in their story?

Which canon character does your OC not respect at all? Why?

"WaWa! I hate that guy, aha~! He's like, the tooootal opposite of Nicky if you ask me, which you did!!! Sooooo deffo that guy. Boo him!"

Does your OC love anyone? (generally, although he seems pretty fond of everyone so far)

"Nicky!!!!! Nicky Nicky Nicky~! I love everyone but he's suuuper duper cute and awesome and I'd propose to him tomorrow, for sure for sure!!!! But he's already said no fourteen times! Boo!!!"

What is the worst thing your OC does in their story?

"Top secret~!!! If I tell you then I'd get in sooo much trouble, so keep it on the Dee Ell, 'kay?" He winks. And then he pauses as if he said something important and nods. "Deffo that! Does that answer your question?"

< Mun answers below! >

Which canon character does your OC not respect at all? Why?

Hyde! Kamitani has honest to god forgotten the reason, but it's because Hyde and him have vastly different ideas on the issue of anomalies co-existing with humans and the like. He also finds Hyde's 'under the table' type of dealings to be shady and unfair, and generally believes that Hyde is more dangerous than any other staff, so he finds it unfair that Hyde hasn't even gotten in trouble for things (while others like Nicolas have).

Does your OC love anyone? (generally, although he seems pretty fond of everyone so far)

Generally, he's fond of most people he meets in a Pet sort of way. Like, he's not necessarily looking down on anyone, but he doesn't really see people as Real Objects With Much Worth. So he genuinely adores them, but wouldn't be sad for most people who die. Nicolas, however, reminds him of his lover on an unconscious level, so he really, really likes him, and would care if he died.

What is the worst thing your OC does in their story?

In MY opinion, I think the pure body count of anomalies he's caused is his worst thing. Like he's done some bad shit but most things have some sort of justification. A lot of anomalies he kills is either because the Institute asked him (and he didnt say no) or because he just genuinely didn't think they needed to live. And that's probably not his call to make, really!

[bringbackmaes14]

I've been a Sophie before so this question was complicated for me, to say the least.

I really did like the guy. We met in highschool when I was a freshman and he was a junior. We were good friends for about a year before we started going out, and I did genuinely enjoy dating him. I loved hanging out with him, watching movies, going to get ice cream, and spending time at the lake or the State Fair with him and sometimes his family. We were together for a little over a year, but I never felt that spark.

He'd ask me if he could hold my hand and I'd say okay, and he'd ask if he could kiss me and I told him I didn't want to and he'd say "okay we don't have to I love you anyway" and I truly treasured how kind he was and how respectful he was of my boundaries and how fun our time together was.

And then I broke my spine and was bedridden for months. He visited me in the hospital, and he'd stay by my bedside at my house and watch TV with me and play with my dog while I rested.

He truly was a great partner and his time and presence and care meant the world to me, but I still never felt that spark. But I wanted to be around him. With him.

Until I found out he was going to propose.

I mean, here's the thing: I was 17 and had literally broken my back trying to make it through my junior year of highschool. He was 19 and graduated and already had a fulltime job at his dad's company. I had told him I'd loved him because I enjoyed being with him so much, but I realized too late that I loved the things we did together, not necessarily him. At least not romantically.

And my mom told me in early December of that year that she'd heard from his mom that he was planning to propose to me at his family's Christmas party. In front of his entire extended family.

And I panicked. I called him, in tears, with both my mom and his parents in the background, and told him I couldn't do it. I knew he was going to propose and I wouldn't be able to say yes. He told me calmly that it was okay and that he would wait. And I sobbed and admitted to him that I didn't want him to wait for me because I didn't love him and I didn't want him to waste his life waiting for me. And he was still so calm, and so kind, and he was sad but he asked if I wanted to end things. I told him I thought that I needed to. That it was for the best because I didn't deserve him. He told me that it was okay that I didn't love him, even though he really loved me because relationships were complicated and sometimes they worked out the way they did for us.

And we stayed friends after the breakup, at least until I moved away about a year after that. We tried to stay in touch over the phone because we both still enjoyed each other's company, until I didn't because it was clear that he was still holding out hope that I'd come back to him some day and actually love him. I couldn't handle the pressure, or the longing.

I don't know what I'd do as a Kate because having been a Sophie still haunts me.

Hypothetical situation. Let's say Kate and Sophie start dating. Kate is in love with Sophie, and is under the impression Sophie is also in love with her. Kate is happy with how the relationship is going.

Sophie realizes after dating Kate for a while that she is not actually in love with Kate, but is still happy with how things are and wants to maintain the relationship.

Would it be better for Sophie to be up front with her true feelings and allow Kate to reassess, or for her to keep the status quo since both of them are still happy with it?

Thought experiment. Names are random, and this is not describing any specific real situation.

–

We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

[eroaneki]

It doesn't matter anymore, but I can't help but ask myself on occasion if it was all a lie.

That's the one thing that has tripped me up for years. I've never gotten over that. I can sometimes hardly even think about it before becoming so overwhelmed that I just can't anymore.

I mean now, I'm dating a great guy. We're engaged. We're happy for the most part. Shit gets rough sometimes but that's to be expected.

But the one thing feeding my inability to commit fully to someone, is this.

I don't know if my whole experience with him was genuine at any point. And the fact that I don't know bothers me so much more than I wanted to ever admit to myself.

When I started playing BG3 and Astarion admits that the whole beginning of your relationship was a fucking ruse, you cannot even begin to imagine how legitimately triggered I was.

I thought of nothing but him.

I literally went "holy shit, this is literally him."

And I just felt awful. Disgusting, really. All the feelings I had buried in a chest deep down that I haven't touched for years came up. Anger, sadness, disgust, shame, guilt, betrayal, hope.

I really need to focus on ending this. It doesn't matter anymore at all whether or not he was ever genuine about anything.

I'm successful. I won. I made it. And I should be proud of that, and I am.

But I guess it hurts because I did genuinely love him at some point, only for him to quite literally abuse that love for his own selfish benefit. He broke my trust so many times, over and over again.

And I just want to know why?

But I guess a simple answer would be that I was an easy target, even if I wasn't necessarily deserving of it. I was just there, and happened to comply easily.

And that used to make me feel really shameful, but now it doesn't. I was conveying love by trusting someone enough with my heart to not break it.

But they did, and they never seemed to ever give a flying fuck how many times they did it.

But what used to get me was the genuine disgust and disdain he had for himself over how and what he was. He hated himself. Truly, he did. Talking to me about ending shit a few times while he'd be in a panic.

He had someone take their own life one year on Christmas, and that's probably why I'm also thinking about this tonight. Christmas was always really hard for him. I used to have to talk him through it, or just be there for him so he didn't feel alone. He didn't get along with his step-parent also, and used to complain a lot about how the guy was always fucking with him.

He looked for a lot of validation in others, and was also desperately afraid of people leaving him. The two big motivators of everything he did.

He'd make promises he could never keep to everyone in his life in an effort to make them happy, often at his own expense.

He did not take rejection well because you might as well be telling him you hate him. Again, very afraid of being left alone.

Never did it with me but proposed to a number of different girls after dating for short intervals because he was absolutely desperate to have someone who couldn't leave, at least not easily. He also tried to convince me to not get plan b after sleeping with me (entrapment with a child) but did drive me to go get it anyway.

I just think about everything and I'm like what the fuck was I involved in for 7 years?

And sometimes I just wanna spam message him on social media and scream that he owes me an apology, or sometimes I feel like I owe him an apology for hopefully not ruining his life in any way. Probably because he's impacted mine.

But what stops me every time is I have no idea if any of this was ever real in the first place.

So I pretend it wasn't, and I go about my daily business.

Odds are it was just a game, a fun distraction. And that I was the only player.

It doesn't make me sad to admit that. It used to. But not when I know I was just following what I thought was actually happening between the both of us.

[nyeddleblog]

Unsteady.

Pairing: Andrew! Peter Parker x Fem!Reader. Warnings: some swearing, angst, mentions of death, short. Summary: He really thought he lost you, but now he had a second chance. Request: 1. heyyy! i was wondering if you could write an imagine on andrews peter parker in nwh. so basically ned and mj are doing the whole portal sequence where they're trying to find tom's peter, so they accidentally bring andrew. before that they try to find y/n they find her, only she's from andrews au. then andrew comes along and they start crying, hugging, kissing etc bc y/n dies in andrews world. it's such a sad yet cute idea to me :) (they're dating before y/n dies in his world) 2. hello it could be a request from andrew peter where the reader returns, despite being dead, as otto and goblin. and all angst and happy. because I read that emma stone was going to appear but due to the covid she couldn't. 3. i was just wondering if you could write fluff imagine with andrew!peter parker x reader who was his girlfriend in another universe but they broke up and then she died (not necessarily for the same reason as gwen, you can come up with something new) and when he meets her it feels like it all they had never passed? just fluff, but you can make second part with smut thx <3 4. i found out your requests are open and i am so happy! can i pretty please request fic? Peter Parker (Andrew Garfield) x Fem!reader?What about this one. Y/N runs to save child but she hurts herself. After she returns the child to the parents, she falls away and Peter tries to save her.... Thank you very much!

It was difficult for Peter to get over the fact that you weren't coming back. He still had the memory of your eyes fading, as the color in your skin slowly went away; your soft hair sprawled all over the pavement and your clothes dying of a dark red.

He couldn't save you; he didn't even realize he should have been there to save you. It was supposed to be a harmless date; a last date before he finally proposed.

He had everything planned, the ring was in his pocket, and he was taking you to this empty coffee shop that for some reason you loved.

He would spoil you all day until you came back home, he would take you to the prettiest places, make you spend the most magical moments, have you wondering all day when he was going to do it because he knew you knew this was the day.

And then, as you hung your keys and your coat, he would kneel behind you and surprise you.

But things didn't go as planned. Maybe it was the universe telling him that he just didn't deserve you...

You just... You wanted some ice cream. And who was he to say no to you, right?

And you waited for him sitting in that bench where you guys had your first kiss, and he ran to the ice cream shop. And he patiently waited for the guy to scoop your ice cream...

And then he turned around, because the look on this guys' eyes... He would never forget.

It had been so silent.

A girl was crying, held desperately by her mother. And your body laid there, trying your best to not close your eyes.

Maybe if the car hadn't left. Maybe if you had accompanied him to get the ice cream...

Maybe if you just hadn't gone out that day.

But you did. You did and now you were gone.

Peter blamed himself even if it wasn't his fault. He blamed himself because he wouldn't be able to live with himself either way.

So when he saw you again, it was like he finally got some air after being underwater for four years.

You were there, confused, and dressed up in the same sundress you had left him with. And when you saw him, any sign of fear left your face.

Peter almost fell to his knees.

"You... You know each other?" Ned asked.

Before you could say anything, Peter stumbled his way to you and pulled you into his arms.

"I guess that's a yes..."

Your soft hands traveled to his hair, caressing it in the way only you did. The smell of your perfume was sprawled all over his suit, it made you wonder what happened.

He looked a bit older, a bit more thin, but overall, it was your Peter.

"I missed you so much" he cried. You frowned immediately "Please don't leave me again, please."

"I would never leave you" you said, clueless.

He cried harder, because he knew it was a lie.

Oh, how easy would it be to just think that you chose to leave him.

Your eyes went all over his trembling body. He was on his suit, his hair longer, his beard sloppily shaved, a chain with a ring hanging from his neck...

"Did I..." You were scared, your eyes trying desperately to find his, but he just wouldn't pull away "Did I die, Peter?"

He shivered at the word, his head on your neck. You didn't need any other answer than that, and you hugged him harder.

It wasn't an easy task, but the expectant teenagers needed to find a way to save you. And if they could save the villains, they would definitely find a way to get you back with Peter.

TAGLIST: @itssvphia @swaggysposts @allisonxmcu @elarasstardust @lartdestrouvailles @crying-is-your-latest-fashion @mrsbarnes107th @pastel-painted-sunrise @allisonxmcu @endlesssummerfun @glytchfic @apoloslut @ceyoongs @yunho-leeknow @starfirette @justbookworm

[weakforarwen]

The Changeling is such a feel-good episode. Bradley was really great in this one.

I'm still sad that Elena became the typical princess in the end. She was still not as fairytale like as Mithian, but why in the world did the Sidhe manifest itself like that in Elena? Also, did Merlin really get away with killing the Sidhe leader? No repercussions, really?

I wanted more episodes with Elena. She's one of my favorite minor characters. I hope she married for love - to someone who liked to compete with her in horse-riding and didn't feel sore about losing to a woman - and lived happily ever after.

Grunhilda: And what does that mean, anyway, "Perfect princess"? Sounds perfectly boring. You've got spirit, child. If Arthur's got half a brain, he'll recognise that.

Sorry, Elena. He really doesn't have half a brain.

I wonder why they wrote Elena like that? Was it to make it easier for Arthur to reject her? Gwen, by comparison, was a lot more graceful, well-mannered, and princess-like than the actual princess. She was also more conventionally feminine. She didn't sword fight, wasn't a competitive horse-rider, didn't trip and embarrass herself, etc. Even Mithian, the perfect princess, was a better hunter than Arthur which bruised his ego a bit. Both Elena and Mithian had something typically masculine that they were better at than Arthur, which hurt his pride a bit, while Gwen was a seamstress... She was also a blacksmith's daughter, though, and was able to start a fire when Arthur couldn't, in The Castle of Fyrien. That had bothered Arthur a tad too.

I think it's pretty monumental how Arthur defied his father. Everyone had been expecting him to marry Elena. Gwen certainly hadn't believed Arthur would go against Uther. She hadn't believed they had a future and Morgana had convinced her of it even more. If Morgana, who in the past would've supported Arthur marrying for love, hadn't thought Gwen and Arthur stood a chance, then Gwen probably thought they didn't.

Poor Arthur looked so sad the whole episode. I liked that he first asked Gwen for permission to marry Elena. I think he might not have even proposed to Elena had Gwen believed in their future. He usually counted on her to tell him to follow his heart. As it was, it was up to Merlin, but Merlin only told Arthur what he wanted to hear. It was the same with Mithian. Arthur didn't ask Merlin if he should've broken up with Gwen in His Father's Son, or if he did the right thing banishing Gwen. He had already known what Merlin would say. But he talked to Merlin when he wished to back off of his wedding to both Elena and Mithian and take Gwen back. He knew Merlin would tell him to marry for love. Arthur wanted the opinion of someone normal, who didn't care about old-fashioned family traditions and alliances, who would probably have more romantic views on marriage. Even the word of a "clueless servant" would've been enough to validate Arthur's feelings.

One of the things I love the most about Arthur and Gwen is that Arthur constantly shattered my expectations of him. Arthur's number one trait had always been that he loved Camelot above all else. Yet, Gwen proved that wasn't necessarily true. He wasn't just some idyllic Prince or King who lived for his people. He was a man. He wanted love and companionship, and would do foolish, selfish things for the woman he loved. He would leave Camelot for her, embarrass himself and his father, give up on his lands, put her before Camelot if needed.

I adore this about them. I never thought King Arthur would be a romantic, and no one else had either. Gwen couldn't comprehend the extent of his devotion and how he gave it so freely. It had initially surprised Merlin in Lancelot and Guinevere, and it surprised even Morgana in Queen of Hearts. Arthur himself likely didn't know how far he would go for Gwen. All he had known was to give everything of himself to Camelot. He hadn't expected to do the same for Gwen. He didn't even agreed to it. It was bigger than him.

Arthur never truly had to put Gwen before Camelot, but knowing there was a scenario in which he could've faltered and chosen Gwen over his destiny really should change how anyone sees Arthur. The Once and Future King couldn't exist without his Once and Future Queen. He couldn't exist without Merlin either, but we're talking about choices Arthur made. Marrying Gwen was the first choice he truly made as King, before he was even crowned.

Anyway, I truly feel like people overlook how Arthur's love for Gwen wasn't just "romantic" or showed he was different from Uther. It had the potential to completely alter Arthur's destiny as surely as Merlin, Morgana, or Mordred had. Death didn't stop Arthur from becoming The Once and Future King, but Gwen's death, for example, might've. It's so hard to express how I think that Gwen undermined the basic premise of his character.

Also, unrelated, but Morgana was so thrilled to ruin Arthur's wedding. I thought she would want him to marry Elena and be miserable, but perhaps she wanted Uther to lose his shit even more?

[bluediamonder]

it was a lot more than a hug: an (unintentional) short essay on mental health & steven worm

I LOVED THE HUG OKAY.

I’ve seen a lot of people saying things like “uGh thE eNdiNG sUcKEd geTtiNg a hUG doEsN’T sOLvE aLL yOuR pRoBLeMs”. but in my opinion, that’s exactly the point. 

All throughout the second half of SUF, they’re trying to show us that there is no one way to feel immediately better and have all of your problems solved. He goes to pretty much every source he can. The gems aren’t necessarily seeing what he’s going through, Connie isn’t going to solve this for him, his Dad is helping in an unhelpful way, so he goes to Jasper and that went haywire, so he goes to the diamonds and they just make it worse. And then what is he supposed to do?

Every single time Steven goes to a person to “help” him, he’s going to them seeking help in order to fix it. and there’s a big difference between the two. 

I have anxiety, depression, and OCD, and often when I’m panicking or having moments of high anxiety, I do what Steven did: I seek out people not to help me, but to fix it for me. I then react the same way Steven did - with anger - when people try to help instead of just fixing it.

Anxiety, depression, panic, none of those things can be completely and magically cured and rid of in the snap of a finger. But in the moment, for people like me, for a person like Steven, the thought of that feeling not being entirely solveable is petrifying.

 It’s like if someone is drowning and splashing around: you can’t get the life ring around them because of how much movement and commotion they’re creating. But they’re drowning, so you can’t just tell them “Hey, stop moving so I can help you!” From your perspective, you’re trying to help them by encouraging them to do something that will in turn allow you to help them. But to that person, if they stop flailing, they’re going to sink even further, and that is terrifying, so much so that they can’t even consider that you might be wanting to help them. All they can process is that you told them to stop doing the one thing that they don’t want to do: sink. Even if they’re sinking just for a moment, before you save them, that doesn’t matter. That feeling of sinking is terrifying, so they end up splashing around more. 

When Steven seems to be babbling on, almost comedically, in “Everything is Fine”, trying to convince himself he’s fine, he’s gotten to a stage that I was in for a while, a sort of mania, where he is not only attempting to convince everyone around him that he’s fine, he has convinced himself that he is fine. This is a huge red flag for people with bipolar disorder or manic depression (NOT diagnosing Steven, I am not a professional, I’ve just experienced many of these things and been surrounded by people experiencing these things and professionals explaining them to me. Like I said, I was in the hospital for this, so). Everyone around him starts to see that he is, in fact, not fine, as they’ve already surmised. But the physical consequences of them not doing anything, not doing enough, are starting to manifest.

When he morphs into the Steven Worm, he has lost his sense of self. He doesn’t know what to do with himself, he can’t exist within himself with the world he’s created. He didn’t tell the Gems about the hospital, he didn’t tell his dad he was angry, he didn’t actually tell Connie he needed her he just proposed. He doesn’t know what to DO with all of this. So it explodes around him.

He can’t control his feelings, himself anymore. He feels he’s lost control. For me, a human, this morphs into a panic attack. But for him, he’s a gem, he turns into Steven Worm.

Not even the diamonds, the most powerful beings in the entire Gem universe, are incapable of changing him. His emotions bring White Diamond to her knees. But what they’re doing wrong here is they’re trying to fix him!

When Connie bolts in on Lion and is making her (iconic) rallying cry, she never says they need to fix Steven or heal him; she says they need to help him. Because that’s the only way he can get better.

When you go to the psychiatric hospital, you don’t go to get fixed. You’re in an environment where you’re made so you’re not a physical danger to yourself, and then you do a shit ton of work. You have therapy multiple times a day, every day, all week. You do work, they don’t just fix it for you. And this is the solution that we need to see portrayed. This is the solution they did portray in SUF.

Mental health disorders can’t be fixed. And Steven’s problems weren’t solved with a hug. 

But we needed to see the hug. Because Steven needed to see the hug.

The hug wasn’t just about hugging him. It was about literally forcing him to come face-to-face with the love and support he had been inadvertenly, and then intentionally, pushing away. It forced him to say, “Okay, this is who I am right now. And these people love me.”

I had to have the people in my life tell me over and over that they loved me when I went to the hospital. I had to have my doctors tell me that they cared for me, my therapist tell me that I wasn’t talking too much, because I didn’t believe them. I had convinced myself I wasn’t worthy, I was a fraud, just like Steven. Sometimes you need that love in your face, surrounding you so that it is the only thing you can see, for you to be able to let it in. 

The hug didn’t fix everything! That’s the big thing. The hug was a pure, beautiful moment, but I don’t believe it was meant to be a plot device to try to fix everything. Everyone was still emotional, he still destroyed things, he scared people, he scared himself. That wasn’t all magically fixed because of the hug. But his resolve to do the work, get help, and accept what happened to him - that is what made him go from Worm Steven to Boy Steven.

And afterward, we seen Steven has grown. He hasn’t morphed, his hair hasn’t changed, he’s not pink. But he’s grown mentally. He’s communicating more making plans, his disposition has changed.

Previously on this post, I said" I don’t like that they called what he had a meltdown (again, I vouch that it was a gem version of a panic attack)" However, I learned that this is actually a really good term to describe what Steven experienced, and as a person in my ask box (@a2Ieep) noted, could be relevant to the headcanon/idea that Steven is autistic, or at least autistic-coded, as well as his PTSD or cPTSD. None of us can diagnose Steven but that also means I shouldn't just pass off terminology like that! I realized it gave people who self-identify as autistic, the same feelings it gave me as I struggle with panic and anxiety. While we surmise different meanings from the meltdown, it was a meltdown. We all feel so touched by it, and Steven's meltdown felf like a panic attack to me, that doesn't mean it isn't a meltdown, and that it can't be meaningful to someone else with autism or PTSD. Steven's meltdown is just as meaningful to someone who has autism or PTSD, as it is to me with panic attacks. Erasure of someone else's feelings on my part was not okay, regardless of my intent or my own strength of different feelings. Plus, it was his choice to use that term. I just want to make it clear that at first I didn't like the term, but it is actually a really important term to use. I didn't expect the post to blow up like this, so I wanted to make this edit known and seen as it's a really important of this post. Thank you to everyone for understanding! And thank you to @tentacrocacles @transtistic @satoshigekk0uga @mercurialmeditator @possumpiebruh and @a2leep for sharing their feelings ans thoughts with me, which helped me to realize this and investigate and alter my own sentiments!

but YALL STEVEN HAS A THERAPIST NOW! He’s is not only getting the help that he needs, he is showing that he is going to continue needing this help, and that’s okay! He’s making plans to visit people, to go see the world, on his own terms! 

 He’s scared and sad of leaving the gems, and it’s also time to leave the gems. It’s time to move on, and be a new Steven.

We’ve seen a lot of Stevens the past few weeks. But Steven driving off past the Big Donut into the night was my favorite Steven. That was vulnerable Steven. That was Steven doing the work to be himself, to exist with his feelings and the ways he had acted, and the things he had gone through. That was my boy. Steven Universe.

When I saw my mom for the first time while I was in the hospital, the first thing she did was give me a big hug (I was a blubbering mess, of course). But it wasn’t just that my mom was giving me a hug. She was telling me she was there for me, she loved me, she was telling me she would stay up on the phone with me as long as the doctors would let me, she would drive 3 1/2 hours from our home in Michigan to the hospital in Ohio at a moments notice (I went to school in Ohio and went to the hospital there too before coming home). That hug was her forcing me to see that she was there for me, even if I didn’t believe it, or didn’t want to believe it.

So yeah, Steven got a hug. But it was a lot more than a hug, okay? Take my word for it

[fangirlsmood]

Tomioka Giyuu x reader - inferiority complex

Summary : Noticing how Giyuu doesn't know his own worth, you try to remedy his inferiority complex.

Warnings : Spoilers about Giyuu’s past.

author notes : Seeing our little Giyuu blame and put himself down breaks my heart, it's time for someone to comfort him and tell him what an amazing person he is.

_ Tomioka-san ! 

Hearing your voice, Giyuu stopped in his walk and turned to you, nodding his head to greet you. You noticed that he was holding a bunch of papers, probably a mission report he had to return to Oyakata-sama.

_ You’re already back ! After filing your report, would you accept ...

_ No.

_ But...

You've been begging him for a while to train you. He had saved you a few months ago from a demon and since then you had only one wish: to become like him. You were infinitely grateful to him and you were so admiring. Not really knowing how to fight but wanting to be useful you had started to help at the Butturfly estate. However you wanted to do more, you wanted to save people before they could get hurt like Giyuu had done for you.

_ Ask another person.

_ Kocho-san is already taking care of Kanao, Rengoku of his little brother ... Everyone else is too busy to spend time with me. I want you to train me... please.

He looked you straight in the eye for a moment then sighed, unable to resist your perseverence :

_ Fine. I will train you but don't expect me to be a good teacher.

Since that day Giyuu trained you every time he return from a mission. You couldn't be happier. The training was difficult, tiring and sometimes painful but for you it was an honor. Even if he didn’t said it Giyuu was proud to see your progress. Besides, it was nice for him to have company. 

•••••••••••

One day, at the end of a hashira meeting, Rengoku came to approach him.

_ Tomioka ! We don't see much anymore (Y/n) at the Butterfly estate. I heard that you train her.

 He nodded, Rengoku let out one of his loud laughs :

_ It's surprising ! I had offered to train her but she had refused. Is she doing well?

_ She’s not bad.

It was surprising indeed. You told him that no one was available to train you and he learned it was a lie. Why had you been lying to him? He didn't understand what you could gain from it.

••••••••••

That night he found you serving dinner for both of you like you did almost every day since you had become his student. 

_ Welcome home ! How was the meeting ?

_ Good.

His gaze immediately made you uncomfortable. Usually he always gave you a warm look, while now he was looking at you coldly, as if he had difficulty recognizing you. He took a seat in front of you and began to eat. After a heavy silence which weighed on him as well as on you, he decided to speak :

_ Why did you lie to me ?

You did not remember having committed such an act against him. Seeing your confused stare he developed his point :

_ Rengoku told me he offered to train you. Why did you tell me that no one has time for you ?

You didn't think he would find out someday. Nothing in his attitude or his voice let show anger but you knew he was necessarily upset. Giyuu was a man of his word and honor, for him a lie was a lack of respect. You were terribly ashamed, however, you manage to stammer an explanation :

_ Oh ! It’s not what you think ! In fact it is but... I mean I didn’t really thought about it... Believe me it was far from my intentions to disrespect you, I would have never offended you on purpose ! I just... I just wanted to be trained by you.

_ Rengoku is a really good and strong man. You should have accepted his proposal. 

He marked a pause.

_ Go back to him, if you ask him I think his offer still stands.

Was Giyuu denying you? Did he no longer want you as a student? He got up and turned his back to you as if to end this discussion but you got up in turn, you wanted to stay by his side: 

_ I don’t want anyone else to train me ! 

_ It would be better for you.  He will be able to take care of you and make you evolve. 

Suddenly you realized what was going on. Giyuu thought Rengoku was a better hashira than him. Didn't he know how strong he was too? You stood in front of him so you could look him in the eye, so he would know you weren't lying :

_ You’re strong too. And you’re a good professor. 

_ You don’t know what you’re talking about. I am stronger than you that’s all. 

_ You’re a hashira ! You’re one of the strongest !

He lowered his head you saw in his eyes, him who was usually so impassive, a hint of sadness.

_ I don't deserve this title. I shouldn't be there.

_ What do you mean ? 

You noticed that his hands tightened on his haori.The words struggled out of his throat, as if part of him wanted to hold them back while another wanted to get them out :

_  Those who owned the two parts of this haorie should be there, they should be alive. Them, not me.

It was the first time Giyuu had talked about his past. You kept silent, you didn't want to rush him. You just wanted to understand him, reassure him, make him feel surrounded. 

_ (Y/n)... I know you admire me and it's nice to have someone so dedicated by my side but you don't know everything. You idealize me. I am not a strong. I am not a good person.

One of his hand clenched the red part of his haorie :

_ I wasn’t strong enough to protect my sister...

His other hand clenched on the other part :

_ I shouldn't have passed the Demon Slayer exam ... Sabito should have, he was much stronger, much better in everything, but he protected me and it cost him his life.

You were speechless. Knowing that Giyuu, who was so generous, strong and usually impassive, had suffered so much broke your heart. You wanted to cry for him but you knew it would only cause drama. You will cry another day, now you needed to cheer up your beloved master.

_ Rengoku will know how to protect you, you will be safe with him. 

••••••••••

The next morning Giyuu couldn't find you anywhere. He assumed you had chosen to join Rengoku. He was sure it was the best option and it suited him for the moment. He felt ridiculous for confiding in you last night, and was too embarrassed to see you again. Nevertheless he had become so used to your presence that he already missed you. Part of him regretted telling you to leave. 

Fortunately you came back little less than a month after your departure and with a surprise. You ran to him yelling a "tomioka-san" as a greeting before handing him a package. A little taken aback he examined it for a moment. Impatient you pressed him a little : 

_   It's a gift for you! Open it !

He followed your instructions and found a nice little bundle of papers taht were of different sizes and different colors. The writings and the ink used were also diverse. You started to explain nervously :

_ I wanted you to know how amazing you are, so I asked the hashira, your old master and a few of the people you saved to write down what they liked about you or what you had did good for them ... Oyakata-sama and Gyomei-san could’nt write but they dictated to me and I transcribed everything ... I didn't think it would take so long to contact everyone, sorry ... 

He had already started to read. Everyone had written something even Obanai, Sanemi and Shinobu had found a few nice things to say. Shinobu had recounted a mission accomplished with Giyuu and admitted that without him it would have been a failure while Obanai and Sanemi were content to write a single sentence where they said that Giyuu was not "that bad" and that "some of these techniques were quite impressive". Urokodaki gently reprimand him so that he would stop always blaming himself and telling him that he was proud of him. 

And finally there was your letter. It was the longest and as he read it he wanted to cry with joy. He wondered what he had done to deserve so much praise, he wanted to deny all these compliments but you had written a real reasoning full of examples to support your words that he was obliged to recognize his qualities. 

He felt his heart melt. it must have taken so much effort from you to collect all these little words, it was a real treasure that you had just offered him. You watched him silently in his reading which lasted a long time and since he didn't say anything you wondered if it was really a good idea :

_ Erm... Do you like it ? It's okay if you don't, but keep them anyway. That way you could always reread them when you needed to ... you know ... know how amazing you are.

A smile covered his face and you noticed that his eyes were bright like a child who discovers the world. His smile was so faint you might not have noticed though it was the sweetest you've ever seen. 

_ Thank you. It's the nicest thing anyone's done for me. It must have taken a lot of effort from you to convince Obanai, Sanemi and Kocho and put it all together.

_ You deserve all the effort in the world.

You gave him a huge smile and he believed you. He felt all the weight he had on his heart, all his guilt shut up in the face of all these kind words. For the first time Giyuu told himself not only that he was lucky to have you by his side but also that he deserved to be happy. Every time he read one of the letters he said to himself, although it was still hard for him not to doubt it, that he was worthy. More than feeling worthy, he felt loved.

••••••••••

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[thanks-mike-stamford]

Fics that inspire my writing - Part II

This is Part II. Read Part I or Part III

Continuing the discussion, I grouped these fics together for something they have in common: author style! It was actually a bit hard choosing them because they are all written by authors who have a distinct style. Something in them that makes you recognise the author right away, that makes you think - oh yes, definitely is a story from this person. When you have a bunch of stories with the same kind of feel, it's hard to choose one to illustrate my point. Tip is: binge read the authors below!

Part II

I Used to Live Alone Before I Knew You by etothepii Back when there wasn't even s2 yet I was already reading stuff from this author. I absolutely love their fics. This one is super interesting, a Good Omens fusion book version - beyond numerous screaming posts on the internet I'm not really familiar with this universe.

Something I like in all their fics and it's worked beautifully in this one is that there's more than it seems under the surface. The characters are not an open book even to the reader, and the narrator (close Sherlock POV) doesn't give all the information. The narrator sometimes doesn't even explain the information we are given. The facts are presented piece by piece, building the layers of a character, making it clear that even if right now, for this story, it's not relevant, this person is a complex human being (or angel. Or demon) that doesn't exist solely for the purpose of the plot. Two factors help with this: the non-linear narrative, that permits we only know a part of someone when it becomes relevant; and the sort of omniscience of Sherlock. I say sort of because yes, he's a demon and he has access to the core of someone. He's able to fish for stuff that happened in someone's life and how they feel about that as a way to build their vulnerability to sin. However, this is not necessarily mind-reading or future prediction. He makes deductions based on the soul, let's put this way. But because he can't use it to predict exactly what is going to happen, he still gets surprised. Because the characters are layered, they are able to be consistent with what we know and yet unexpected, up until the end.

The combination of giving powers to the narrator and using non-linearity is brilliant, working to enhance the themes behind the plot, which are about the complexity of the human soul. I'm working on a WIP that has similar themes and I try to play with these aspects to make it smooth like this story, instead of a philosophical essay using voices of characters. I've tried the non-linear narrative in a published fic, but it didn't have the same level of success in serving the story. Let's see if it goes better when I try again.

What It Is by toyhto This author has two main things going on in their fics: the type of angst that makes you question yourself, and the type of humour that is not really about trying to make you laugh, it's a very weird type of humour. I love weird stuff.

This fic is not Toyhto's best angsty one or best humourous one, but it's one that creates a good mix of both, like a tragicomedy (but without a tragic ending). You have John not knowing how to feel about Sherlock, and Sherlock gambling possibilities on how to fix the situation. It's the narrative that fascinates me. The story keeps its cards close, the reader is often a bit uncomfortable, a bit wrong-footed. You don't know where the story is going (hell, sometimes you don't even know where a scene is going), so you keep hanging up until the end. There's an underlying panic in how characters interact, but it's never hysterical, it's never loud or obnoxious. And then you find yourself snorting in situations that shouldn't have been funny. Life is usually not one genre or the other, so why literature should be? I love that the story never tries to be something (sad, funny, intriguing), and yet it is. It's not easy to pull something like this.

I have a WIP currently on my drive folder where I try to play with this tragicomedy narrative thing. This fic inspires me in trying to keep the reader on their toes all while looking effortless.

Borrowed Ghosts by DiscordantWords DiscordantWords has been out there since 2016 showing how there's more than a way to fix canon. In fact there are multiple ways. This is the author you want to go if you watch the show and think eeh this should have gone a different way. There's probably a story in here which takes the same premise you thought about.

This one is just too incredible. Because it picks up right from a crucial point in canon and said - ok, what if everything still happened, but they actually make sense? For this story consistency is key, and if canon gave us a John Watson making bad decisions while nursing an unreliable brain work, that's what you get. But make it make sense! This is what happens when you are on a roll of bad decisions, this story tells me. This is what happens when you're isolated from what before kept you on track. This is what happens when on top of everything your mind is playing you tricks: they don't just stop because you decided to. That's not how it works. This story acknowledges the bad stuff, but to fix them it doesn't propose miracles, and it definitely doesn't ignore them. We get the consequences but we also get the process of change that is necessary for things to be good once again. Like John says: there's a difference between wishing something happened differently and wishing it hadn't happened at all. But it did happen, so now what?

Make it canon divergence but character consistency and twist it to fix it, it's what inspires me in this fic.

The Ancillus's Tale by Chryse I reiterate that everything by Chryse is a must, but everyone that follows me on twitter had to deal with me constantly gushing about their most recent work for months, so it will be this one here. I just have a lot of feelings about this fic. Oh, yes, omegaverse again, inspired by The Handmaid's Tale.

The one aspect that comes to my mind when I think about Chryse's works is dark themes. If I want to read about fucked up stuff happening, I will go to them. And this particular fix has fucked up stuff from the first to the last chapter. And it's very immersive: you get inside the head of whoever is POV at the moment, Sherlock or John. You get their physical reactions, their thoughts, you know what they know. And the world building is on point: detailed enough that is totally credible, you can see reality becoming that way, but it's not described to exhaustion. We are presented the info about what we need to know, and rest is there, somewhere at your peripheral vision where you know it exists but it doesn't become a nuisance to the plot. But more important than that, it's how the dark themes are treated. It's never on black or white situations, surprisingly, despite the universe setting. The characters especially - they are allowed to have conflicted feelings, they are allowed to misbehave even if they are supposed to be on the good side, they have nuance and complexity. And the cherry on top: just because it has a dark premise, it doesn't mean it can't have a super satisfying happy ending that even brings comfort to the soul after letting it being hurt. We get snippets of comfort, the promise it's going to happen all along the fic, to compensate the extreme suffering the characters are going through. It's glorious.

I have been toying with the idea of writing something on the dark side. In fact my next multi chapter is super fucked up (but as always, with the certainty of a happy ending), and I hope it can see the world soon. I'm writing with this premise in mind: characters are allowed to have conflicted feelings, and they are allowed to misbehave, that won't make them the bad guys.

This was part II! If you missed part I, just click here. Part III is up!

[nad-zeta]

I saw your post about the IkeSen lords and their NoMo MC and thought it was beautifully done! But it got me thinking... What if the lords' mc COULDN'T have kids, not necessarily that she didn't want them. How do you think Hideyoshi, Ieyasu and Masamune would react? Or even Sasuke, Yukimura and Shingen (or any three Lord combo you want... I'm curious about all all of them.)

Hi, hi, dear. ❤🌻🥰Thank you so much for the request love! 🦊Awww, thank you so much for the kind words, dear!❤❤❤❤😳 Hehe, so I didn’t add Sasuke and Yuki cause I was lazy, hope that is okay❤🌻🦋! Anyways so, this one really hit close to home!🙈😱 So I hope I did this justice! I hope you have a super good day and I hope you are keeping safe!  ❤❤🌻🦋

Headcanon: MC that can’t have children feat: Hideyoshi, Ieyasu, Masamune and Shingen 

Ieyasu

The two of you had been married for quite some time now

And naturally, you started trying for children to expand your little porcupine army ^̮^

It had been a few years of trying yet still nothing ≧☉_☉≦

Ieyasu had given both of you, various concoctions of herb mixes to aid in fertility and the two of you practically tried every wives tale in the book, from honey and cinnamon drinks to acupuncture

Yet still nothing (¬_¬)

You decided to go and speak to one of the midwives while Ieyasu was away to war

She did a quick evaluation and after some time she looked you in the eyes, sad look crossing her face ⚆ _ ⚆

She didn’t have to say anything for you to know that you couldn’t have children  ಥ ͜ʖಥ

You offered her a smile and thanked her for the evaluation 

However, the second she left you crumpled to the floor and cried

‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚

Ieyasu came back early that night and was greeted by the sight of you curled up in a ball sobbing  ๐·°(৹˃̵﹏˂̵৹)°·๐

He was by your side in a matter of seconds picking your up and cradling you in his arms, as he moved you to sit in his lap

His heart broke as you refused to look him in the eyes 

All sorts of things had been going through your mind when the midwife left, like would he take up another wife at the news, would he leave you

Long fingers gently wiped away your tears and made their way to hook under your chin so that you were now looking at him ༼☯﹏☯༽

“Tell me what happened, did that stupid Mitsunari make you some horrible tea and force you to drink it.” (◕⍸ ◕✿)

You chuckled through the sobs as he tried to lighten the mood with a joke

His fingertips danced across your cheek as he lovingly caressed your face while wiping away every tear that fell  ( ‘́⌣’̀)/(˘̩̩ε˘̩ƪ)

Finally, through hiccuped sobs, you managed to get out what the midwife had told you

He couldn’t help but shed a tear of his own at how heartbroken you were at the news  (╥_╥)

He simply wrapped you in his arms and tucked your head so that it was now comfortably resting in the crook of his neck. He gently rubs small circles on your back as you spent the night crying in his arms 

He kissed your nose and your cheek, ���It’s alright silly girl, there is more than one way to start a family. It’s not your fault so don’t stress about it.” He tried his best to reassure you knowing that you were beating yourself up  (｡◕‿◕｡)

He smiled kissing your forehead, “Besides we already do have a baby we are looking after, I’m pretty sure Mitsunari would die without our care, especially during times when Hideyoshi goes to war.”(｡◕‿◕｡)

At the end of the day, the two of you did have children, albeit not your biological children. 

You adopted two wonderful little boys who were sent to the Oda clan as hostages after their parents died. 

The second, you saw the look on Ieyasu face when he saw the two little scamps you knew that he wanted to rescue them so that they didn’t suffer the same fate he had as a child.

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

Masamune

Masamune already knew you couldn’t have children

Or rather he suspected 

Every time the two of you would do the deed, you would always joke about, him not having to worry about you getting pregnant (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

He never thought much of it, shrugging it off thinking you had some fancy futuristic contraception

The two of you never really sat down and had a conversation about it 

Although the more serious Masamune Date got about you, the more you dreaded having to have that convo with the man ಠ╭╮ಠ

After all, he was the leader of his clan and as wife to the future leader certain duties and expectations had to be met

Well not that you were at that point yet, or so you thought

Unbeknown to you Masamune had gone behind your back and consulted with your enemy ninja fiend and his fellow warlords to plan the perfect evening to propose to you (✿◠‿◠)

Masamune knew you were the perfect woman for him, and tbh after having met you, you were the only woman he could ever look at

You taught him how to love and healed him from all his traumas and for that, he will be eternally grateful (◕‿◕✿)

He knew you were never one for grand gestures so he decided to keep it small, besides this way the proposal would genuinely be a surprise

He cooked the two of you dinner like any other night 

After dinner, you made your way outside together to sit and have a nightcap under the stars 

That's when he pulled out a ring and proposed ( ° ᴗ°)~ð (/❛o❛\)

You were so happy you could cry, yet the tears you shed weren’t from happiness  ಥʖ̯ಥ

“Masamune I have to tell you something?” you said in a rather serious tone

He froze up thinking you were going to tell him you didn’t love him, that his feelings had been one-sided, he swallowed the lump in his throat as he spoke, “What is it kitten, don’t tell me you’re afraid of commitment”

You shook your head tears still falling, “Remember all those jokes I made about not having to worry about getting pregnant, well those weren’t jokes, I really can’t.”  （>﹏<）

Everything seemed to move in slow motion, as he was faced with a decision between happiness and duty 

He made up his mind and looked you square in the eyes, “And the problem is what exactly kitten, I love you and you love me right, so say yes” he gave you the broadest smile (˶◕‿◕˶✿)

You couldn’t help but jump into his arms in a tight embrace showering his face in small kisses

In truth, you had received a proposal once before, years ago yet, that man was not able to accept you as you were. Looking back you were thankful he had rejected you, as it had led you onto the path of true love and happiness 

Masamune did eventually get a son and a successor, as the two of you had come across a poor orphaned boy barely surviving on the streets and decided to take him in and raise him as your own. | (• ◡•)| (❍ᴥ❍ʋ)

Shingen

You and Shingen had been married for quite some time now

He was still busy recovering from his lung disease and it was time for the two of you to go back to the future with Sasuke to get him checked out and restock up on meds

 (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

The two of you, would go back to the future every five years or so just to check up on his lungs, to make sure everything was still good (¬‿¬)

While Shingen was at the doctors, you decided to go to your gynaecologist to check up on your lady bits (¬‿¬)(¬‿¬)

Usually, the two of you would chill in the future for a few months until the next wormhole opened up, which suited you perfectly as it gave you an opportunity to catch up with your family (◕‿◕✿)

One day while you and Shingen were chilling on the couch the gyno called and asked you to come in so she could discuss your results

Shingen looked over at you, “Is everything alright, my goddess.” (◕‸ ◕✿)

You wore a concerned expression as you put down the phone, “I’m not sure, she asked me to come and see her as soon as possible.” (◕__◕✿)

The next day you and Shingen were sitting in the consultation room as the gynaecologist broke the news to you, that you had cervical cancer

Shingen grabbed your shaking hands and squeezed it. 

As the doctor explained your options, Shingen helped keep you calm by rubbing soothing circle on the back of your hand (〃‿〃✿)

The two of you decided to start the treatment immediately as that was the best way to ensure that both of you would be in tip top shape to return to the past

To be honest when the doctor broke the news that after the procedure, you would never be able to have biological children of your own, your heart broke  ( ´•̥̥̥ω•̥̥̥` )

You and Shingen had finally decided to try for children and now that dream seemed to be coming to a crashing end  (つ﹏⊂)

Shingen was there for you every step of the way, just as you were for him when he was sick and in the hospital (づ￣ ³￣)づ

The two of you went through the list of options in terms of children, and being in the future, there were quite a few options 

The two of you finally settled on adoption and quickly approached an agency to fast track it before you had to return back home ~(˘▾˘~)

The two of you landed up adopting four children at once. 

They had been in the system for so long, as they came as a package deal. Neither of them wanting to be separated from the others 

Shingen smiled as the social worker warned him about the 13-year-old’s tendency to run away.┗(＾0＾)┓

The two of you returned back to the past with your four children. You had gone from an empty nest to a full house in less than a year

You were slightly worried about the children having to adapt to a new life in the past, but those worries were for nothing as they were absolutely thriving ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪

Even the angsty 13-year old that was rumoured to have run away from his last 10 homes loved every bit of the past

He especially had taken a liking to Yukimura who would train with him

Finally, the four children who had never known love their whole entire lives were now surrounded by it from all sides

Hideyoshi

Oh you had loved your doting husband to bits ( ͡ᵔ ͜ʖ ͡ᵔ )

He was everything you could have ever asked for in a potential partner, kind, loving, caring, need I go on \ (•◡•) /

Hideyoshi had found out very early on that you were unable to have children

In fact, you had actually confided in him way back when he had still sister zoned you ◉_◉

He never judged you for it and honestly never cared whether you could have children or not, all he knew was that he loved you ♥‿♥

He often jokes that the two of you couldn’t possibly raise a child as you already had your hands full with the warlords (｡◕‿‿◕｡)

If the two of you weren’t controlling Nobunaga’s candy binges, you were caring for Mitsunari, heck the two of you even had to break up small fights between bickering warlords

Although all that changed one day when there was a knock on your door in the middle of the night (；一_一)

Naturally, you kicked Hideyoshi out of bed to investigate, as you were to comfortable in the warm cocoon of your bed (｡v_v｡)

Hideyoshi kissed the top of your head as he got up to investigate. 

As he approached the door, he wondered who dare would wake them up so late into the evening ¬_¬

He was already cursing under his breath thinking he might find an injured Mitsuhide on his doorstep in need of medical assistance.

He opened the door and peered into the darkness, no one was there. He frowned thinking it might have been some children pulling a prank ب_ب

Just as he was closing the door, he heard a small sneeze, he looked down to the find out the source of the sound was a baby, that couldn’t have even been more than a few hours old ≧☉_☉≦

He gently picked up the tiny thing and cradled it in his arm. 

He could feel his blood boiling as he felt how cold the little baby’s hand were

(╯=▃=)╯︵┻━┻

He rushed to get a soft blanket to wrap the poor child in and then made his way to your shared room where he relit the fireplace ლ(･ω･*ლ)

At this point, you were sitting up in your futon wondering if Mitsuhide had gotten himself injured again (＾＾；)

Before you could even get up, your eyes widened in shock as you spotted the little bundled in Hideyoshi’s arms as he lit the fireplace ʘ‿ʘ

The second he handed the child to you, you were in love, in fact, both of you were in love  ♡｡ﾟ.(*♡´‿` 人´‿` ♡*)ﾟ♡ °・

You raised the little girl as your own, the two of you could never track down her biological parents, not that you cared as you loved her to bits and would never be able to give her up  (◍•ᴗ•◍)♡ ✧*。

I hope you enjoyed this love🦋🌻! And I hope you are keeping safe and well.❤❤🥰🌻

[willymywonkers]

Some Maude and Willy Headcanons that make my heart go boom.

For starters, Maude is most definitely a hopeless romantic. She loves all those shitty romantic comedies that would just make your brain melt. (Her favorite movie is 10 Things I Hate About You, lmaoooo)

Wonka, being himself, will absolutely over analyze the plot, and rant and rave about the plot holes. Even things that Maude didn't even notice, he will point out and won't stop talking about until the movie ends.

Maude doesn't mind him talking over the movie, if she's seen instead before. Sometimes if he's still going on about a scene that just passed, she'll take advantage of the situation, and kiss him to shut him up.

Afterwards, Willy would most definitely keep his lips sealed for the rest of the movie.

I like to think that Maude's favorite candy would be Nerds, considering that's also an irl Wonka candy. (Ps, that's also their ship name since they're dumb scientists lol)

Maude did an experiment on one of the Oompa loompas once, but she didn't feel too good on how it came out. (It was explosive bubble gum. 😬)

Will shows a lot of favoritism towards Charlie, but he also shows a lot of favoritism towards Maude. Will doesn't like a lot of grown ups, so he relates more to kids. However, around Maude, he feels as if he isn't with just some ordinary grown up, but he's with the girl that was down his block. He doesn't like how Ron changed her. In fact, it really angers him to think that Ron took away her childlike nature, and replaced it with insecurity and sadness.

But, the more time Maude spends around Willy, the more of Maude's old self seems to return to her. She feels a lot more happier in the factory, than she is anywhere else.

And, since Charlie moved into the factory with his family. Maude couldn't feel more like a proper family.

There are many times that press have called Maude and Charlie "Wonka's New Family."

Which, isn't necessarily wrong.

If Willy were to propose to Maude, I'd imagine he'd custom make a candy ring that wasn't too flashy, but would definitely have a Wonka flair to it. He would probably propose to her during dinner in the factory. All the Buckets would in on it, trying to nudge Will and Maude closer.

[singofsolace]

Hannah has really had a crazy/sad life!

1) Her abusive relationship with someone who was a business type and told her what to eat/wear

2) Calling off her engagement when she landed in Australia which is crazy considering she accepted the proposal in the first place so something clearly changed her mind

3) She said she travelled all around with her boyfriend to watch football matches in 1990 because he was such a huge fan but in 1990 she would’ve only been 16!

I agree! I do think it’s possible that when she said she travelled back in 1990, she probably meant the decade, not the year, but regardless, she still would’ve been relatively young. 

The Australia story haunts me, because something HUGE had to have happened for Hannah to do what she did. What could've gone so horribly, terribly wrong for Hannah to make such a drastic and immediate choice to break off her engagement and go home when her things hadn't even arrived in Australia yet? I’m not sure I want to know the answer, though she did say she and her ex-fiancé have since patched things up, or at least both of them agreed that Hannah made the right choice in the end.

She also had a boyfriend when she was a “shimmy girl” who made a comment about her thighs being skinnier than her knee joints and how he “knew he should like it” that she was so skinny but he didn't... and I’ve always thought that was the sort of comment you should probably keep to yourself if you have any perception of how women react to criticism about their bodies.

It’s worth noting that the only other time she’s “asked the universe” for something, besides when she manifested Ted Lasso, was when she was “having a hard time with a bloke.”

She’s also referred to her not being single / to being back with the father of her child (in whatever capacity) as “better the devil you know, sometimes” 👀

I recognize Hannah’s dating history is none of my/our business, but since she has talked about it quite openly, it just makes me think about how many people have to go through similar experiences for so many years, and still don't necessarily find someone who treats them the way they deserve to be treated 🥺