#These shows are all so good and i love the fandoms

[amazable01]

OOOO thank you for the tag! <3

Favourite Colour: Lavender/Dusty Lilac

Last Song: The Summoning, from NPMD (background noise; though sometimes it's for the characters in my brain, and it goes on loop)

Currently Reading: Fanfiction, mostly; but I am looking at picking up a new series soon, hopefully

Currently Watching: Do podcasts count? If so, Magnus Protocol is a big one. I don't watch too many TV shows ;-;

Currently Craving: Waffle House (eggs, toast, hashbrowns, all the works)

Tea or Coffee: Tea! It's my go-to; hot or cold, rain or shine. Coffee makes me feel bad, and I love how many fun flavors you get with tea. I get the basics, but I also get a bunch of themed teas, too

Bonus: I try to collect a plushie from every fandom I'm in :3c So far I have Wally from WH, Rambley from Indigo Park, Skipp from Ramshackle, various Pusheens (it's a problem), mini Sanders Sides, Enderchest from DSMP/Ranboo, and a Fizz from Helluva Boss on it's way! (Still looking for a good FNAF Sun/Moon plushie, tho)

Tagging: @laytonsartblog, @buttercup231, @theobsessor1. @creativitycache

get to know your moots tag game!

✶ answer the questions, then tag six people

Thanks for the tag @kiraandhervibes

Favourite colour: blue and purple

Last song: the challenge from EPIC

Currently reading: I just started Silverborn

Currently watching: rewatching Series of Unfortunate Events

Currently craving: nothing in particular rn, but I’m always craving iced tea

Tea or coffee: tea!

Npt: @somanyquestions-featuringanxiety @shelbeforgotten @sparkleylittlepoo @stars-and-leather @ravensncrowsx @permetutotheworld + anyone else who wants to

[arkhamsknightz]

STARLIGHT // SUPERMAN HEADCANONS. CLARK KENT & JOURNALIST!READER.

content: just fluff, pure pure fluff. It's the biggest vomit of love lmao im sorry but i'm in love at this time so deal with it. I don't dare to write smut yet (i'm very rusty lol), + we don't accept snyder fans!clark here — sorry not sorry — this is the clark who would rescue a kitten from a tree so....

word count: 0,4k (almost 500 words)

notes: i'm testing the waters in the dc fandom, even though it's been too long since I've written in it, but the superman trailer is my new obsession and I can't wait for july. the brat summer hits hard, but the superman summer hits harder.

divider: @bernardsbendystraws

☆ You keep pretending not to notice when he leaves your apartment, and five minutes later "Superman" shows up to make sure you got home safe from your late assignment.

☆ Clark literally melts whenever you call him "Superman" in a teasing tone. like—he’s supposed to be the man of steel, but his knees go weak the second you smirk and say, “What’s the plan now, Superman?"

☆ You learned pretty quickly that dating the man of tomorrow comes with random date night interruptions. But he always makes it up to you. Like one time he flew in from stopping a train derailment with pastries from Paris and an "I'm sorry I missed our dinner" post-it stuck to your laptop".

☆ He’s so soft for you. Like, he’ll listen to you rant about Lex Luthor and his stupid company for an hour and then say, “You’re incredible. Do you know that?” with the most adoring look in his eyes.

☆ He's ridiculously good at remembering everything. birthdays, deadlines, how you take your coffee, and your favourite quote. He once quoted your own article back to you when you were doubting yourself, and you cried. He freaked out. tried to fly to get flowers or something.

☆ One time you tried to surprise him by bringing him lunch to the Daily Planet, and he got so flustered he nearly knocked over his desk. “You... you brought me food?” He blinked like krypto when he acts like never been fed before. Now he talks about it like it was a grand romantic gesture and not just an stupid sandwich.

☆ You once told him, half-asleep, that flying with him felt like dreaming while awake. Now he always asks, “Wanna go dream?” before lifting you into the sky.

☆ He sometimes reads over your drafts while you're out cold on the couch. leaves little notes in the margins like “love this part,” “so proud of you,” or “you spelt ‘crimes’ wrong, but you’re still my favourite reporter.”

☆ He lives for when you adjust his glasses or fix his tie before a press conference. It’s the only time he lets the whole “Clark Kent” act drop just a little and looks at you like you’re his whole world.

☆ Sometimes when you’re deep into writing, completely zoned out, he lands silently on your balcony and just watches you work for a minute—arms crossed, head tilted, that soft “I can’t believe she’s mine” smile on his face. When you finally notice him, he acts like he hasn’t been standing there like a lovesick puppy for the last five minutes.

☆ On your worst days at the paper, when deadlines crush you and the world feels heavy, he wordlessly picks you up and flies you above the clouds. No noise, no pressure—just the two of you, floating in golden light. “All of that can wait,” he whispers. “You can’t.”

[hedwig221b]

Hi! Can you please recommend age gap sterek fics? 🙏🙏❤️❤️

and @dauntlesslypinkterror asked:

Hii. Can you recommend age difference fics? ❤️❤️

You may notice by the length of this rec list that I love age diff... This was very delightful to put together. Featuring older Derek as well as some older Stiles

Older Derek

serve me lemonade by endversed

"Do not hit on our professor,” Lydia says. “Technically,” Stiles starts to point out, “he’s just our professor’s friend.” “Technically,” she purses her mouth primly around the retort, “he’s old enough to be your father.” Instantly, Stiles catches his tongue between his teeth. He can feel his nose scrunching up with the utter glee of his smile. “I know,” he breathes. “Isn’t it awesome?” Stiles is a law student with a thing for older men. Derek is the middle-aged divorcee he wants to climb like a tree.

DNCE (Desperate Need for Care and Ecstasy) by LillianDeLooney

Gentle lumberjack Derek takes care of Stiles in a new and exciting way.

Hunger by SinQueen69

Anon on tumblr: Are prompts open? feel free to ignore. 40 year old werewolf Derek/ Succubus Stiles. Derek is a hot experienced werewolf who can keep up with Stiles hunger, Stiles can takes whatever Derek can dish out and looks like all his shameful jailbait fantasies. Rough sex, knotting, come inflation, and Derek using Stile' little demon horns as a hold to pull him back on his dick. + Anon on tumblr wanted: Hey can you write a story where Derek has to train Stiles to take his very BIG cock and then after taking it for the first time Stiles becomes addicted to Dereks dick and he wants to have it in him all the time?

Put Down in Words by paintedrecs

"Oh,” Stiles said, his voice coming out low and breathy, “fuck me.” “I don’t think that’s on the syllabus, but we can check to see if there’s a spot open in any of his classes,” Scott said, grinning. “This isn’t an actual professor, though,” Stiles insisted, unable to resist brushing his thumb over the sharp line of the man’s bearded jaw. He was laughing at something off-camera, the shot taken in three-quarters view, his coat collar casually rumpled and opened to reveal a sliver of a simple grey t-shirt. The whole thing was deliberately calculated to lend him a more accessible feel, and god help him, Stiles was falling for it. * When Stiles signed up for Dr. Hale’s intro to history class, he had two goals: knock out the credits his advisor was bugging him to complete before he graduated, and spend a few hours a week daydreaming about his sexy professor’s salt and pepper beard. Derek, a few months away from turning forty and not sure when his life had started feeling so damn lonely, had never encountered someone like Stiles before. Bright-eyed, sharp-tongued, determined to throw Derek’s carefully cultivated world into disarray…and absolutely the last person Derek should be falling in love with.

Impatient by SinQueen69

2024 Suggestion Form Anon: Older biker/criminal Derek loves corrupting 16 year old sheriff's son Stiles. Stiles makes a joke about how it's good he can't get preggo but Derek instantly develops a new kink. The thought of knocking Stiles up so everyone in town knows that Stiles let Derek breed him, that it was Derek that stole Stiles out from under the sheriff's overprotective grip is almost too much. Any Fandom Dark Bingo Square: Forbidden Relationship

i've been pushing for this (for so long) by marinbel

"I’m too old for you,” Derek says. “Peter’s too old for me, and he still wants to fuck me,” Stiles says. He smiles—just a little, just the corner of his mouth—and spares a glance in Derek’s direction. “I think you’re just fine.”

Hitchhiking and Propositions by halcyon1993

Stiles hitchhikes and gets picked up by an older man.

One life stand by Vendelin

Stiles is used to selling himself to make ends meet. But it's getting harder to keep those ends meeting, and there's only so much of Stiles to go around. Until a too-fancy car shows up in his neighborhood, and he meets Derek Hale. All Derek wants is Stiles's time, someone to stay on his arm for events and smile for the cameras. It's the easiest job Stiles has ever had, the best-paying one he's ever had, and he's more than happy to sign up. Derek is everything and nothing Stiles expects him to be, with his tailored suits, sharp mind and his quiet way of caring. But it's just a job and Stiles never meant to fall in love.

Put In His Place bySinQueen69

Tumblr Anon: aggressive underage omega Stiles pursuing older alpha Derek who is reluctant because he's married or he feels guilty about the age difference

One Door Closes by KouriArashi

Derek knows that Stiles is too young for him, but Stiles doesn't agree. Eight years after Derek rejects him due to the age gap, they meet again where Derek has settled in Wyoming as a ranch hand, and Stiles is the new deputy, and still pissed as hell about the way Derek turned him down. Things don't go as either of them planned. (I'm sure a million fics have been written about older Stiles and Derek, but this one has cowboy Derek, does that help?)

With or Without You by SinQueen69

Anon on Tumblr wanted: Could you write Alpha stepdad Derek finally gives in to barely legal omega Stiles' seduction. & Anon from my feedback form wanted: bottom stiles. belly bulge, nipple play, a/b/o, so much dirty talk

Off Limits by halcyon1993

A story in two parts: When Stiles tags along to one of his dad's basketball games, he's instantly drawn to one of his dad's friends, a man named Derek Hale. Derek is over twice his age, but Stiles can't stop himself from wanting him. Jackson has hidden his sexuality and obeyed his parents' orders for years, but when the pressure finally becomes too much, he can't do either of those things anymore. As his best friend Danny helps him to pick up the pieces of his life and discover who he truly is, Jackson realises there might be more between them than he thought.

His Father's Friend by SinQueen69

Tumblr Anon: Derek is John’s friend from high school coming to stay with him while he manages a messy divorce. John’s happy to have an extra set of hands around the house and someone to makes sure 16 yo Stiles is home by curfew. He wouldn’t be so happy if he knew what went on while he’s at work. Kinks-size and age difference, bottom Stiles, hung Derek, taboo kink, possessive Derek, forbidden love. + Stiles has very puffy sensitive nipples and Derek just can’t leave them alone. He gropes and pinches them whenever he can, he shoves Stiles into dark corners and makes Stiles pull up his shirt so he can suck on them in public, he pulls out of Stiles’ mouth half way through a blow job to rub his wet cock on them. Kinks- Stiles with sensitive puffy nipples, hung uncut Derek, possible surprise lactation.

Oh, Teach

Stiles is Derek’s mate, and Derek is Stiles’ professor. So Derek does the only logical thing he can think of: he repels him.

Alway's Hungry by SinQueen69

Chapter 1-Anonymous prompt fill: Teen Stiles starts hooking up with or is in a sugar daddy/baby relationship with an older bear with a big, hairy gut. He loves parading Stiles around in crop tops, tiny shorts, choker collars, covered in hickies. They fuck in public bathrooms, or Stiles sits on his cock every opportunity he gets. Stiles with zero shame loving his daddy's coke can thick cock. Barebacking/toys/creampies/voyeurism all great! Chapter 2: Anon on Tumblr wanted: Can I prompt sterek + spanking + daddy kink + exhibitionism Chapter 3: request from moodyprincess00 for Fisting

How Derek Got His Groove Back by WhoNatural

Cora kicks him under the table. “Do you have the hots for the baby lawyer?” she hisses urgently, and Derek blinks at her, feeling his face heat. “Don’t be ridiculous. He’s young enough to be my--” “Younger brother,” she cuts in, and shakes her head. “Age difference excuses do not fly with me. Are you gonna ask him out? Derek, you need to do something about that.” “About what?” he says, frowning, watching as Stiles sits down at a table with a group of older, lawyer-types. “The fact that you’re both about one drink away from sex in some janitor’s closet.”

Sharp and Sweet, Soft and Sound by astrugglingstoic

After spending the last six years together, Stiles thought it was time to expand their family.

A New Toy by SinQueen69

Derek has a new toy for his baby to try out.

Housekeeping by lvmehtme

Derek is a busy novelist with no time to care about or clean up his house. When he's made aware of the condition of his house he turns to a housekeeping agency for help. Stiles is having financial troubles and takes on a load of jobs to help him and his father get by.

The Long Way Home by MonsieurBlueSky (MyChemicalRachel)

Stiles didn’t plan to sleep with his best friend’s dad. It just kind of happened. And then it happened again. And again. And again…

Later, mate! by Smowkie

Derek looked at the time and sighed. One more hour until he could go pick up Alex and go home. It was Friday, and Fridays were their nights, so they were going to eat Chinese food and watch Beauty and the Beast for the thousand time and probably play a game together, and he couldn’t wait. Someone knocked on his open door and he startled a little as he was pulled out of his head. Stiles smiled at him from the doorway. ”Hey, professor Hale,” he said. ”Mr Stilinski,” Derek said and tried to keep his smile professionally polite. Every time he talked to Stiles he had to remind himself that he was his student, that while he was 18, and legal in that aspect, he was still ten years younger than Derek, Sheriff Stilinski’s son, and again, his student.

Knotty Professor by CharWright5

It wasn't the first time Stiles had totally lost focus while working on an essay, writing a topic that most definitely wasn't the assigned one. It was, however, the first time a teacher—or professor, in this case—decided that his paper was so inaccurate he would have to give the student a first hand lesson in order to right his wrongs. Which, this time, meant teaching Stiles exactly what it was like to be knotted.

Take Your Breath Away by thecheekydragon

Stiles didn’t need Scott to tell him who their new English Lit teacher was. He knew it was Derek Hale. He also knew Derek Hale was hot.

The Land of Milk and Honey by MereLoup

Derek had followed Peter to many a business dinner. When Peter was trying to woo a client, he pulled out all of the stops. He would spend however much money was necessary to ensure that the client was impressed and felt like the most important person in the world. Peter Hale had a gift when it came to client relations. Derek had been to just about every five star restaurant in Manhattan, so much so that the shine of expensive business lunches and dinners at exclusive restaurants had begun to wear off just a bit. All of the safety precautions were a little strange, and they were definitely atypical from the normal places they had attended. Derek wasn’t exactly sure why, but he didn’t really care. Every place had their niche. But once they passed through those doors, everything made complete sense. This wasn’t a restaurant at all. It was a bar. An omega milk bar.

Mixing Business with Pleasure by halcyon1993

To get away from the stress of his job in NYC, Derek rents a house in the Beacon Hills preserve and quickly picks up a not-so-secret admirer in Stiles Stilinski.

Only Me

He held Stiles’ face like it was the most precious thing and licked Stiles’ neck like he owned it. A kiss was the first thing to greet Stiles in the mornings they spent together, and at nights, it was the last thing he felt on his face. Each time was more desperate than the last. Derek told him he was made to be kissed. It was a reward, a pleasure, a relief. And then, after all of this, he would disappear. For two days, three, or for a week. Stiles would choke from the thought that this time he definitely ruined it (how? god, how?), and then, in a click of a light, Derek would come back as if he were always there. Calling from a hidden number, cupping his chin, tugging Stiles closer with his hand splayed on his back, so big and insistent. Kissing, loving, refusing to let go. But only in a closed room, in the darkest corner of a restaurant, in a black sports car with its windows thick and tinted. Stiles dreaded saying goodbye.

Desperate

Derek understood perfectly well how young Stiles was. Just how many times did he stop himself from digging his teeth into that lovely neck to claim him? Maybe, next time he shouldn’t. The thought, wild and sudden, came to him, and once it did, there was nothing he could do to get rid of it. If he got Stiles pregnant, then the omega would be his. Fully his. They would be bound for life. Stiles wouldn’t refuse the mating bite, then. Stiles was his omega. Derek would do anything to keep him. Anything.

Older Stiles

Risking It by dbeaux

A chance meeting changes everything. Stiles and his band, Rogue, are currently on hiatus, and he's in the process of turning things on their end. He's not looking for love. He can't. The band and his daughter have to come first. Add in that he's not out to anyone other than his best friend and his dad, he's resigned to the fact that love is just not in his future. He's not even sure how to be in a relationship, much less where to begin. Derek is Rogue's self-proclaimed biggest fan. He's had posters of Stiles Stilinski on his walls for years and went to loads of concerts, but he never got a chance to meet him before the band went on hiatus. Little did he know that he wouldn't even recognize him if given a chance. Will Stiles be able to figure out how to let someone in? Can Derek trust that he's enough for someone like Stiles?

Multidisciplinary Studies by DevilDoll

Stiles is a slightly-older-and-very-sexy librarian and Derek has a thirst for knowledge.

Becoming Yours by dbeaux

As a dom and owner of Stockholm Syndrome, Stiles takes pride in providing a safe place for people to scene. After a bad breakup, he's not looking for a sub, isn't sure he wants a full time sub again. College student and curious sub Derek needs a full time dom but hasn't found anyone willing to take him on so he spends as much time at Stockholm Syndrome as he can, pairing up with various doms willing to take him on for an evening. When their worlds collide, can they find what they need in each other?

Knot So Typical by KnottheWolf

Sure, Derek has a boyfriend. But he keeps it a secret, not because he's embarrassed he's dating an older Alpha man, but because he knows the moment his sisters find out it'll be hell.

Duly (K)noted by KnottheWolf

"Interesting little show you’ve got their, Derek.” The Alpha comments, his voice is so cold with an edge of harshness it has Derek’s stomach rolling with anxiety. “H-How much did you see?” Derek twist his head a little so he’s not staring up at Stiles face. He wants to hide somewhere dark and cry, Stiles saw him. He saw him showing off to a bunch of strangers like a whore. God, what if he tells his mother, what would she think of him? “Enough.” Stiles clips, pushing off from the wall to stand in front of Derek, “Enough, that I could see you fingering yourself open before fucking yourself on some silicon cock just to show off to a bunch of nobodies.” It’s like a slap to his face and Derek’s head is dipping low in regret.

Coach Stiles by DirtyKnots

Stiles shouldn't be doing this, any of this. Shouldn't feel like this about a student. But he does.

[masterlist link]

[asexual-fandom-queen]

The thing about having been around the fandom block a time or two is that I'm pretty good at recognizing the writers doing a shitty job from blatant network interference and holy shit, the whole of 1B, but especially that finale, is so incredibly steeped in network interference.

Doctor Odyssey is the pro-polyamory show. That's its literal thesis statement. It's stated in their media coverage. It's stated in the freaking text. 1A went hard in showing us all the various ways people can be in love and be in relationships. They gave us fucking Gay Week.

That's not a show that doesn't know what it's doing. That's a network reacting to a changing political climate and throwing its weight around to protect its bottom line.

There is little to no consistency between 1A and 1B, in storyline or even characterization. And my heart actually breaks for the writers and actors involved - yes, even Ryan Murphy. Because I guarantee, they didn't choose this. They didn't put all this love and heart into 1A to torpedo it in 1B. ABC did.

I just hope that if we do come back for a second season, it's with a change of heart from ABC, or with a new network that will let the show be as subversive and polyamorous as it was created to be.

[cosmicgendershifter]

So there's some conflict in the OFMD fandom here, I think partly triggered by the PCCP situation, about how to draw the line when it comes to the relationship power dynamics surrounding Ed as an indigenous man. This is definitely a topic worth discussing, but it's got lots of difficult grey area too, which can make for a fraught conversation.

Many of us love imagining a soft dom Stede/sub Ed dynamic and Ed taking on a "babygirl" role. I'd say there's textual evidence to support this. At the least, the show makes it clear that Ed has the desire to step back from a leadership role so he can behave more softly/"femininely" and receive, mostly from Stede, the love and care he's not gotten to have much before. I think it's important to note that, despite the societal imbalances at play, it is not inherently demeaning for people of color to be submissive with white partners, the same way that it's not inherently demeaning for women to be submissive with male partners. Sometimes it goes that way as the natural result of human diversity! Likewise, we all have our moments of softness or "femininity," and we all need help and caretaking at different times in life.

However, the Gentlebeard dynamic does need to be approached thoughtfully because of the characters' races. It's hard to parse out where loving dom/sub caretaking crosses into racist paternalism. I think most of us agree that PCCP went too far in his fics--though that's hardly the worst of the problems we've had with him--so now our community has to consider how to better navigate the relationship from a power dynamic standpoint.

Certainly it helps to keep in mind how multifaceted Ed is, that his desires for rest and domesticity and love coincide with a high level of competence in the pirating world. It helps to make sure that Stede has his moments of being cared for too, no matter how you believe their overall relationship dynamic or sex life might go. I've seen some good points about not decontextualizing moments on the show that are focused on race, and the fandom has talked before about how hygiene and hair care are racialized topics that must be handled very carefully. I'm grateful for any further advice that people, particularly POC, can offer on this topic.

I hope we can keep the nuances in mind. Focusing on how the fandom in general can address this dynamic is going to be more productive and community-supportive than calling out specific posts that fall into that nuanced grey area. Posts that are overtly racist do need to be flagged, and it's worth questioning people like PCCP who have problematic trends in their posts/fics/art. However, I still think it's best practice to give benefit of the doubt and to keep discussion more general so that people don't feel the need to mount defenses for themselves and can stay open to the conversation. I know these conversations are more difficult when you have trauma, and it's not fair that fans of color are carrying the burden of racial trauma. I don't want them to feel degraded or ignored; nor do I want people to feel kink-shamed or otherwise looked down on for needing/desiring help and care. I hope we can find something of a middle ground that avoids both those outcomes!

[lemotmo]

I think we should all be reminded of this more often:

What are the Upfronts?

***

Source: wikipedia

Source: 6ABC.com

We have never, in the history of 911, seen advertising for Buddie on such a grand scale. We were bombarded with it. Just when we thought it was over, something new dropped. It was insane and absolutely glorious.

Unfortunately these Upfronts were held in the same week of the season finale. A season finale that came after a couple of episodes that were not well received, because of Bobby's death and the way all of the characters' personal storylines were sidelined in the wake of his death.

If these Upfronts had been held only one week later? Things would have looked decidedly different. Fandom would have been excited for Buddie in season 9.

The timing was just bad and we were all so swept away by Ryan and Oliver's chemistry that we forgot what these Upfronts were really about: Season 9.

So taking all of that into consideration? Coupled with the fact that Ryan and Oliver would NEVER consciously shipbait in any way? They were just there to promote the next season.

I am looking forward to season 9. I have been on this ship since 2019. I'm not leaving until I see those two idiots und up together. I am still 100% confident we'll get there.

But as I've stated before, I have no idea of the timeline. The only thing I know is that, after the major clues in season 8 and the Upfronts? Season 9 seems very promising right now.

Let's not forget that all of that Buddie build up from season 8 is still right there. It didn't just vanish. Non fandom people picked up on it and have clued in that something is brewing between Buck and Eddie. Even more so, a lot of them are anticipating for something to happen between them in season 9.

Buddie firmly stepped out of the strictly fandom spaces, into the limelight of the general audience. That is huge and so much more than what we ever got from FOX.

Further more, the members of the GA who dislike the idea of Buddie can now switch over to '911: Nashville'. It seems like that show will be right up their alley. Good riddance.

In conclusion:

Was the last part of season 8 one giant mess? Yes.

Did Bobby's sudden death throw a wrench into everyone's personal storylines? Yes.

Was there a lot of weird bts stuff going on with Peter/Bobby's goodbye? Yes. Something happened behind the scenes, that much is clear. I don't think we'll ever find out the full truth about that though.

Were we disappointed by how all of this was handled? Yes. As we should be.

But we're past that now.

The Upfronts clearly showed us that Buddie is, now even more than ever, very popular. With audience, fans and the press alike.

Narratively speaking there is only one way this can go. This show has written itself into a corner when it comes to Buddie. The foreshadowing is very clear.

No other love interest will ever compare or be good enough anymore. There is no beating the natural chemistry between Ryan and Oliver. We saw it on full display last week.

So yeah...

You don't have to agree with me or anything like that. I'm not here to proclaim that my opinion is the only opinion that is right.

Everyone is free to draw their own conclusions and make their own decisions. Whatever you decide to do is completely valid and true.

I just wanted to offer some perspective. That's all.

That being said, you can probably tell that I'm still all aboard the Buddie train. There's no getting rid of me. 😄😋

[ao3cassandraic]

SO OKAY I was right about some parts of this and wrong about some other parts. About par for the course for me.

SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS for the first two episodes of Murderbot. DID I MENTION THERE ARE SPOILERS. BECAUSE THERE ARE. SPOILERS.

Yeeeeeeeeeeep, the Captain totally slept with that bot. And I called it on the possibility of that bot (which I guess I will call NavUnit, that being the nearest available possibility for a name) not being a ComfortUnit. Very curious to see where this goes.

(Still adore Sanctuary Moon for being a technicolor riff on Star Trek. Like, there are some shots that could have BEEN overcolorizations of the first Original Series movie or the ST:Voyager opening credits. They parody because they love, and I'm here for it! And now that I have more than three seconds of it to look at, I definitely think they are taking a shot at the shittastic coloring and rendering from AI image generators. Give 'em hell, design and VFX folks!)

I was also right that Gurathin was trying to get Murderbot to act human, but I was utterly and completely wrong about why. @sainamoonshine got it right: Gurathin doesn't trust Murderbot as far as he could throw it, and in his head, acting what he thinks of as "humanlike" -- with empathy -- is the main symptom of Murderbot's wrongness. So he pokes at empathy and humanness repeatedly.

Which is, like, hilarious on any number of levels! It's absolutely deadly meta! (Those of y'all who know me from Good Omens fandom know that meta is, like, totally my thing.)

But the absolute pinnacle of hilarity in that scene for me is that Gurathin is the. absolute. worst. person. to. test. this. Because he's damn near as socially awkward as Murderbot itself! He sticks out like a sore thumb among the touchy-feely PresAux folks. That whole scene with Murderbot is a massive awkward-off!

(Murderbot wins the conversation, mostly because Gurathin was wrong to block Murderbot going with Mensah and they both damn well know it by then. Which, again, Murderbot winning any conversation with a human is meta as hell. Also metal. You go, MB.)

In another way, though, Gurathin's the best person to test Murderbot's reactions, because he and Murderbot are so very, very alike -- even beyond them both being cyborgs. (Which I like! It makes the line between human and not-human, so assiduously enforced by the corpos, even more clearly bullshit.) Murderbot even lampshades the similarities, all that competitiveness over processing speed.

Does Gurathin ever touch another PresAuxer except when forced to by Ratthi and (implicitly) Mensah in the search for consensus? (I'll rewatch, but I think the answer is "no." He doesn't even hold Bharadwaj's hand in medbay, best I can tell.) Did you see Gurathin trying to dance and failing spectacularly? Whatever he's got going with Mensah (though it seems to be "at" Mensah rather than with her), he both won't admit to it and is incredibly awkward when he shows it. He looks damn near as squicked by the ComfortUnit/sex turn in the conversation with Murderbot as Murderbot does. The dude cannot even turn a damn chair around in a non-awkward fashion.

As someone with more than her fair share of Socially Awkward, I was absolutely cackling. They're utter disasters, both of them. (Don't worry about me, I do okay. Social behaviors are learnable for me, given motivation and time. But at fifty-fucking-two years old I still have to remind myself about conversational turn-taking.)

The thematic point here is that depeopleizing arbitrary types of people -- again, the line between Gurathin and Murderbot is razor-thin if it's there at all -- takes a whole lot of work, alike as we all are. The PresAux folks have it easier, in a way, because except for Gurathin they're not trying to do it.

I guess I grudgingly forgive David Dastmalchian for misgendering Murderbot in an interview. Still wish he hadn't done that (DUDE, there's enough misgendering going around already, not to mention the number of reviewers calling MB a robot, MB is not a robot dammit), but he's doing a great job in the actual show so far.

The depeopleization of *Units in the Murderbot trailer

Just some things that caught my eye as I watched.

The amount of literal and metaphorical dehumanization -- ugh, bad word; Murderbot isn't and doesn't want to be human, so let's go with "depeopleization" -- of bots in a short li'l trailer is... whew. It's a whole damn thing. If you didn't feel as uncomfortable as the Preservation crew did watching the corpos market their SecUnits not with spec sheets (much less résumés) but by putting the most expensive model on blatantly posed display... I'm not sure I know you, because wow, that's absolutely hideous. The books aren't subtle about Murderbot's story being a sci-fied enslavement narrative, but absolutely zero punches pulled in that scene.

(It reconciles me, a tiny bit, to Murderbot being acted by a white person. I still don't love that! But I can acknowledge there's some symbolic utility to it. Thing is, there would be symbolic utility the other way too; it'd just be different.)

While Murderbot itself waves off the corpos' scorn of it as an older and less-capable (by their lights) model, I can't. That, too, is a blatant denial of inherent worth and individuality. (Also I have every confidence that Murderbot could give that new model a fair fight. Experience counts for something, not that the corpos care. So they're being ageist, too! If Martha Wells was using that moment to take a shot at the publishers that wrote her off, more power to her.)

Obviously SecUnit armor is also designed to look deliberately not-human, even perhaps with an ableist touch. Murderbot's visor makes it look as though it has only one eye, and what it wears as it's guarding the door of the crew base is tilted toward what reads to me as a cliché TV robot. The newer SecUnit is entirely faceless (in a very 2020s-riot-cop sort of way, which was doubtless fully intentional).

I frankly got angry (Watsonianly, not Doylistly; I'm not mad at the trailer or those who made it) at the "it can't hear us!" bit. Personal history as a bullied child. I was walking back to school from a fourth-grade field trip, two of my bullies talking shit about me right behind me. One of them finally noticed I was there, shut up, and nudged or poked or kicked the other, who just said disdainfully and in full consciousness of the lie, "she can't hear us." Yeah, so that completely depeopleized bit in the trailer -- again, possibly with a touch of ableism to it -- was perfectly executed, and that's all I'm going to say about that.

And then we get to the Sanctuary Moon clip, in which the soap-opera conflict revolves around the Captain possibly having slept with "that bot," also a completely depeopleizing (though perfectly soapy, doubtless paralleling "that bitch") phraseology. (For what it's worth, I fully believe the Captain slept with that bot. John Cho's face, y'all!)

What's fascinating about that clip is that the crew's reactions of disgust and dismay are ambiguous. Possibly sleeping with a bot is viewed as inherently gross. Possibly it's something about that specific bot. Possibly it's something to do with how humans gender bots in soap operas (which we know nothing about even from the books, because Murderbot doesn't give a crap about gender or sexuality). Given that Sanctuary Moon is a soap opera, quite possibly there's history specific to the Captain, the bot, or both. We don't know! But what's clever about that is that it forces us to allow the possibility that once again it's bot depeopleization.

Cinnamon-roll Ratthi (perfectly cast) gets himself in a perfectly Ratthiesque muddle trying to work out how to be respectful to Murderbot. Using a person's self-chosen monicker is indeed respectful in almost all circumstances! But as Murderbot itself says about its name, "That's private." So Ratthi's attempt falls a bit short, but I'll give him some love for trying.

If you haven't seen it yet, do find the non-trailer clip going 'round of Gurathin opening a conversation with Murderbot. (If you check the #murderbot tag, you should find it.) This reads to me as Gurathin, perhaps prompted by Ratthi's behavior (the chronology here isn't clear), deliberately trying to assert to Murderbot that it is, in fact, a person. Gurathin does this by requesting that Murderbot do what people routinely do when they talk to one another: bare their faces.

Tactless? Yeah, arguably, though again it's not clear how much Gurathin knows about Murderbot's shyness at that point. But I get what he -- and the show -- are driving for.

[distracted-and-diffused]

Charles is a ghost and is no longer living, and the story we've seen focuses on some of his roughest moments, when he’s angry and sad and troubled for some very good reasons. So it seems like it ought to feel paradoxical that the things I think of most when I think of what Jayden Revri uniquely brings to the role of Charles Rowland are his vitality and his joy.

And yet to me those qualities help define Charles.

This show’s Charles Rowland is the kind of character who, when he finds what’s good, grabs on with both hands and doesn’t let go. (“You’re stuck with me,” indeed.) He loves who and what he loves with exuberance — may we all find someone who misses us as much as Charles misses spaghetti.

And Charles loves Edwin, and his (after)life with Edwin, with a tenacity and a joy that leaves an impact. It’s so amazingly clear that he loves being a Dead Boy Detective with his best mate that when the story shows us yet again that he chooses this over a chance at heaven — that he does it before and he’ll do it again — it’s a confirmation rather than a revelation.

We knew before the opening credits first rolled, and we are shown it again and again, in ways both big and small. Each reiteration is a reminder that even through turmoil and change, that remains constant: that it’s something that Charles will fight for every time.

How lucky are we as a fandom, not only to have the benefit of Jayden Revri’s performance as Charles in Dead Boy Detectives, but to find that Jayden himself loves this character and this show with that same kind of joy and tenacity? And because of that, through that, he has inspired so many fans to employ our own tenacity and our own joy in our endeavors and in advocating for our goals.

[little-one-eyed-monsters]

Smart Boom's Diary No. 3: They did a freakin' escape room and it was HILARIOUS from start to finish 🤣🤣🤣

Petition for all BL couples to do scary escape rooms. There's no proof of relationship more genuine than seeing how your ships treat each other in a life-or-death scenario 😅

Toxic fandom culture is out here duking it out about "alpha-omega male labels" and "top-bottom discourse", as if proving one or the other makes their ships better. Why can't we just enjoy watching a 185 cm, pro basketball player-sized manchild hide behind the one guy we've been baby-fying with cat ears for the past ten weeks? 😅

Smart's also a baby, you guys. The lesson here is we can all be baby. Why are we all fighting for dominance here? We can just admit we're scared and go find ourselves a Boom-sized shield.

Also, I do NOT feel sorry for Boom one bit. He chose the freakin' game. Smart warned him he'd be absolutely useless in a scare-fight, so Boom good luck solving this on your own while Smart cowers behind you 😅

(Sidenote: I have a feeling production asked them to choose the scary one. I felt like Boom was leaning towards choosing the easier rooms at the beginning, but camera cuts off and when it returns he selects the most popular horror game instead. To their credit, Boom did admit that he didn't mind scary games, and was the only useful person in that team 😅)

Well, I did feel sorry for Boom when he had to go through that Final Destination-esque MRI machine because Smart admitted he was claustrophobic:

Sorry Boom, no princess treatment here. You're literally the eldest in that room. You're the sacrifice 🤣

I love that Boom couldn't believe Smart was sacrificing him to the MRI machine TWICE, the abandoned tunnel, AND that separate patient's room in the span of an hour. Dude did every obstacle course in the name of his adorably shaky manchild. And Smart really out here showing us that no one should get special treatment when you're trying to survive a deranged murderer. Love that for them. 🤣

Last one, see this promise Smart made before locking Boom in that creepy MRI?

All men do is lie 🤣🤣🤣

(I'm just kidding, please don't cancel me fellow SmartBoomers 🙈)

[sizzlingcloudmentality]

i need a controversial take, so here goes: what’s the one thing the fandom gets wrong about your blorbo? 😌

controversial take you say? *cracks knuckles*

assuming the blorbo in question is Dave:

Dave and Carol are happily married and have kinky and loving sex

if there's a nanny of legal age and interested, they might indulge in some threesome activities in the last week of said nanny's time at their place.

Carol actually knows about Dave's wetwork and supports him the best she can

Dave might be dominant and emotionally constipated (not controversial), but has the fandom ever thought about why? the severe trauma from his time serving? losing friends? killing for the greater good? then killing for a living while trying to be a good dad and husband? this man has layers upon layers upon layers, he's all hurt and guilt and shame and anger. i'd love to see just one of those layers being hinted at in fics. give him the depth he has. he's not just a mean dom, not just a hard cock and a snarl on two legs, even tho that's tempting and attractive, i get it. but he's more. SHOW HIM SOME RESPECT, he's a hardworking man with ptsd.

he looks fucking fantasic in his beanie, idc what the others say

thanks for coming to my ted talk 😌 and thank you for asking 💛

[freedfromthegalactichivemind]

I know I've seen this before because apparently I've liked it prior.

Anyway, it's "Ah, things like this are why I'm glad I'm no longer hard-into the fandom anymore." I do still keep this blog. I re-blog things, but I'm not invested in Spop right now the way I used to be and having moved on, I kind of see why it's a fandom I'm not much inspired to returning to. My current main fandom (Trigun) - features people analyzing the characters and making essays but... wholly without the accusations of who you are as a person or your morality based on who you like / aren't much into? There's not even that much in the ways of ship-warrning. (Even those of us who, say, don't ship Vashwood kind of accept it as a fact of life - just the majority ship in the fandom and those who ship other things or who just aren't into shipping just do our own little corners - or interact with the main ship to some degree, too, because people do fun things with it). Anyway, my point is that while some conflict happens from time to time, mostly, it's super-chill. Maybe it helps that the villains in it do, like, R-rated villainy, so it's obvious that no one who likes them endorses what they do, because that would be silly. Also, in terms of trying to redeem them, the main character / hero tries to do that! No need for the audience-sympathy, there's a canon hero for that! And then I pause and go back to how everyone behaved in Spop fandom and how everything was a personal morality contest and I have no idea if it was because it was a "woke" show or if it was because it was geared toward a younger audience and people just got really concerned about it "teaching good morals to the young." - I think they just went in personally expecting better from the show / perfection from the show and not getting it in all respects, and so came under a greater scrutiny by people coming in / attracted a certain kind of sensitive audience and an audience starved for media representation who were finally getting it, but discontent that it didn't check all of their respective personal boxes of "perfect," with each person having their own definitions of what is good and what is perfect therein. So, yeah, some of Entrapta's treatment grated upon the neurodiverse community. There were people disappointed that the only visibly physically-ill / disabled person was the dark lord villain. There were people disappointed that the canon lesbian main-pairing happened with the main hero and the main villain / under-villain with clear emotional issues used to play up the drama, but was not a perfect person / wasn't given "enough time" to have a redemption-arc that hit everyone's buttons in the right way. And then there was stupid ship-warring and character-prefrencing and a bunch of people just not understanding or respecting, it would seem, peoples' right to like different things / to vibe with different characters and character dynamics. (Just because I like "Pinky and the Brain" goofy mad scientist vibes and dark aesthetics doesn't mean I support colonialism, good God!) And of course, because of the moralizing, there came the backlash, and so everyone was at each others' throats in the fandom back in the day. Glad to be in the fandom of Love and Peace. Anyway, I do hope that if and when I return to She-Ra, and (given that the original was my childhood favorite thing, and I enjoyed the reboot, so it's likely a when rather than an if), I really hope the fandom scene has learned to chill the fuck out. Maybe I have learned, after re-joining an old fandom that used to be contentious (I was an asshole during the old days, for reasons I have grown up and away from and won't get into) that is super-duper chill now is that fandom *can* be chill and just to... chill out, be unbothered. Use the block feature more, etc.

hypocritical because im a homestuck but i dont like simply extracting my favourite parts of media and leaving the rest behind.

shera fandom. i have things to say.

as a huge entrapta fan and an entrapdak fan i see a lot of other entrapdak fans try to extract the pairing from the show and label every other character as an asshole. you'll see a lot of "the princesses" or "the alliance" as this faceless whole of bullies. which drives me absolutely insane. because if you look at the show, "the alliance" is filled with a WHOLE BUNCH OF PEOPLE, each of which has a completely DIFFERENT relationship to Entrapta, and it's only Entrapta herself who ever sees them as this unified big group that she's tried to befriend. I think there's a failure here to understand how entrapta's perception of events isn't entirely accurate. Bow and Adora, for example, were always trying to get her on their side - even though she hurt them the most directly - and they let her do what she needed to do even when it resulted in untold chaos. i also think there's a failure to try to understand what ableism is present in shera and what is not, and where the writing errors lie and how they can be rectified. there's this idea of "it can NEVER be rectified and the characters CANNOT be friends", despite... yknow... the show demonstrating otherwise, and the reason this is especially egregious is I'm sure people ONLY write it that way so they can push entrapta even closer to hordak by alienating her from all her other relationships. to do otherwise would require acknowledging that hordak has done bad things to the other characters and he needs to WORK on himself if he wants to be around them.

as a huge catra fan there was a post on reddit yesterday where someone put a tier list where catra was at the bottom. there was a LOT of people saying it was terrible and the person didn't understand the show, and i feel that perception, but there was also someone saying that anyone has the RIGHT to find a character really annoying and mean, and that they see catra this way. I thought about this, and realised that SO MANY people who will diehard stan Catra and argue that the post was insane will ALSO rank GLIMMER as a bottom character, simply because they find her annoying and mean. it made me think, why is it okay for people to find glimmer annoying and hate her, but suddenly toxic and ableist (the words a certain user had) for people to find catra mean and annoying? why is one thing suddenly a problem when both characters are fundamentally the same? there is a lack of self reflection in how people regard some of the characters. you can't just take Catra out of shera, project yourself onto her, and forget about all the other characters, what she's done to them, what kind of people might connect with them. you can't decide that catra good and glimmer bad because you like catra more.

[orenji-iro-no-sora]

THIS IS IN REFERENCE TO THIS POST I MADE.

I'm truly happy that so many people interacted with that post. I love listening to people sharing their views about books or shows they care about.

I want to clarify though. All I meant was that Shen Yuan isn't a seductress as much as Luo Binghe isn't a casanova. They are fan-made labels. SVSSS fandom often characterises SY as an effortlessly sexy being and SY, as a PIDW fan, assumed LBH to be a fuckboy.

People in SVSSS are attractive because they're book characters. Fictional people have the privilege of being pretty in the way that suits reader's and writer's taste. Imagination has no limit and all that jazz.

So obviously, Shen Qingqiu IS elegant and attractive. SY is also very kind and accepting of others, which makes characters (and readers) feel warm and loved. And that manifests into a desire to connect with him, emotionally or sexually or otherwise.

Luo Bingge IS charming and handsome. He's an underdog, a hero who rose above the challenges and gained power, women, and influence. He won, in every sense of the genre. He's the man.

Luo Binghe is ALSO charming and handsome. He's very sincere and caring. His love, despite his fucked up approach to everything, was pure. He also won, in his genre. He's the lover.

However, in fan interpretation, character personality traits are often molded for sexualisation. SY sexualised LBH and fandom sexualises Shizun. It's not baseless interpretation. Characters are means of exploration, after all. It's just fans having fun. (In case of SY, it's a fan making catastrophic mistakes which was fun for all of us.)

But it's a very typical fan behaviour.

I don't claim to understand human sexuality in all its beautiful varied forms. I don't know what people find desirable or sexy. But I do think, no matter how beautiful the person is in front of you, your thoughts aren't: "look at that slutty neck, I wish I could suck on their fingers, they'd look soo good panting and flushed, they're so breedable, etc." These are words that seem ok only on a screen. Atleast I have always assumed these things to be fandom specific language rather natural everyday form of expression. [If you do, I mean no offense.]

SY as a person hated this kind of interpretation of himself. He didn't like his characterisation in Regrets of Chunshan. He also didn't like when people assumed he had given birth to mini Luo Binghe. He's a man and this feminization felt insulting to him. As would any real person. It also hurt LBH when SY treated him as a revenge obsessed womaniser. Once again, as would any real person. In fact, SY's problems were solved when he stopped seeing LBH as a character and started treating him as a person.

All I wanted to say was that it's cool how MXTX showed SY using fandom mentality and approach to HIS real life (and fucking up so bad). And now, as fans of SVSSS, we also employ a similar mentality when interacting with our favourite book series. Luckily, there are no consequences for us. :3

TLDR. Art imitates life or whatever.

[olderthannetfic]

There is something so magical about reading fic that's old enough to drink on a handcoded web 1.0 personal fansite with repeating tiled jpegs of the writers' horrible blorbo on the index page. Writing so good, formatting so bad...

Man, you can practically taste that old pre/early LJ style, too. You can see the bones of current Ao3 slash fandom house style in it, but it's very much not the same beast. The writers on this fic archive in particular also seem to love throwing in literally every old LiveJournal style cliche you can think of too, lol. Purple prose, deliberate run-ons, wild uses (and perhaps overuses) of italics, all-caps, and parentheses, certain really stand out repetitive descriptors that become almost a calling-card, and all of it, as OTT as it is, forming this extremely vivid, in-your-face voice that reads almost like spoken-word poetry, and absolutely fits the formalism of the show it's written for. Probably obnoxious as hell to some, but I fucking love it. Gnawing on it like a bone, rolling it around in my mouth, etc.

I do worry/I'm sad about the fact that the writers backed up their completed works on Ao3 (where I found them in the first place) but not their incomplete wips. Like sure, this was last updated in 2004, but that doesn't mean it doesn't deserve to be archived in a stable place alongside the completed works!

--

[rederiss]

in my head you are jeremy knox's number one fan and I wanted to vent about something regarding the treatment of "sunshine characters" and such. very brief i promise.

one complaint I kept seeing about Jeremy from other fans was that he "has no personality" and I'm like halfway through TSC and... that is just not true lmao. He's packed with personality. The darker edges of his character are definitely more subtle (like he blatantly disassociates at periodic intervals it's pretty rampant) but he's also...

There's this scene where he kind of puts his foot down and goes, "hey we are accommodating as well as we can you need to meet us halfway" when talking to Jean. And I found that interesting. Because for all Jean has been through he's definitely in the mindset of "this is what needs to happen and how things need to go" and there's only so much they can do before it directly collides with what Jean needs to heal. Which is someone challenging his perspective. Challenging his viewpoint and having the spine not to back down from it. And I see Jeremy as being very self assured in regards to his team (and less so to himself. I think it's a specific thing of "I am confident and assured and stands straight when it affects people in my team but I tend to run and avoid my personal and familial problems.) And that's like... the first eight chapters.

So, to come back to my point, the whole boiling down of Jeremy to this "bouncy happy sunshine boy" is already frustrating because he IS good but he's got a lot buried underneath that surface and that is legitimately compelling. But fandom is where gentle and good characters with nuance go to die ig. Was that salty? Maybe I'm just remembering my roots. I have a particular venom for characters who aren't allowed to be multifaceted because they happen to wear a smile.

GOD Im Kevin’s rival!! I am sorry but I will fight Kevin for #1 Jeremy fan. He can take #2 where he belongs, which is behind his queen tattoo…

Can I just say I am so glad someone else notices how often Jeremy dissociates. Made a post about it specifically with TGR, but he does do it in TSC. I say it’s a point of his characterization where people need to pay attention the most because it really shows so much of Jeremy Knox. I could go on and on about this, but I won’t. Instead, I will say that focusing on what Jeremy is attempting to omit in his narrative actually will clue us in with his deal.

The next thing I am going to say will be controversial but it’s actually the truth… People do not know how to read anymore. And I mean read with a critical lens and be able to understand the complexities of the words in front of them. Unless those words are explicitly stated (like in Neil’s and Jean’s POV), then they will not understand the complexities of a true unreliable narrator (like Jeremy). There have legit been studies that people’s critical thinking skills and reading skills are declining within each generation. Why do I mention all of this? Because it’s important to know why this is happening. Jeremy is the type of character where we HAVE to focus on what he is attempting on omitting, especially in the first book.There is another side to this whole issue where people believe that characters like Jeremy are boring because they aren’t edgy. We see how the fandom treats Neil, Jean, Andrew, and Kevin (love my edgy boys) vs Jeremy (Love my sunshine boy) and its very clear what the common denominator is for the other four. Jeremy is just as complex (and dare I say he can get just as edgy) as the others, but he has his reasons to not do this. Most people either a) don’t want to see that a sunshine character can have nuance or b) genuinely did not understand the breadcrumbs he dropped in tsc.

Okay, now that I got that long spiel out of the way. Let’s rave about my boy. Jeremy is such a character. He is the captain of the top 3 college exy team. He is caring and loving and understanding but he knows how to put his foot on the ground and stand up on business. I think the reason why he seemed not as nuanced as Jean is because we only get 5 (and a half) Jeremy chapters in TSC and the whole time he is avoiding his whole deal. He puts the focus heavily on Jean for a lot of reasons, which by now you should alreaady have the sense on what he’s doing. Essentially, he is playing a role in jean’s “rehabilitation” by stopping the platform from shaking so that jean can step on it. So, he isn’t focusing on himself. You’ll learn more about the logic behind this in TGR btw.

Fandoms generally dont like sunshine characters. Even with ATLA, the most liked character is Zuko, the most edgiest character in the whole damn show. He has so much complexity but they ignore that Aang (a sunshine characters) also has the same amount of complexity since they do mirror each other. Unfortuantellyyy Jeremy got that. People equate edgy to nuance and sunshine to 1 dimensional when that is not even the case. This goes back to my point of people not understanding complexities unless it’s stated directly to them. Edgy characters do tend to state everything under the sun while sunshine characters bottle up. It’s harder to crack open a sunshine character so they pass them off, but I guarantee you if figure out how to crack those characters open, a whole world will come out. I am hoped that TGR would remedy some of this, but I still see people falsely characterizing Jeremy in their posts or saying off hand comments about him that don’t make sense. It disheartens me as Jeremy lover.

[dollypopup]

controversial take?

Penelope did not always love Colin.

Penelope always found Colin attractive. Penelope idealized Colin. Penelope dreamed of being together romantically with Colin. But she was not in love with Colin because the Colin she knew wasn't real. The Colin she made up in her mind was a sanitized, perfectly polished version of him that has never existed save in a society that required him to be as such. Penelope ONLY came to actually love Colin when he revealed to her his actual self: the self that hurt, the self that cried, the self that yelled, the self with insecurities. The self that can sharpen on her like a knife. The self that curls in fetal. Until she cracked his chest open to see the gaping wound of him, she did not love him.

The Colin Penelope thought she loved was a man who was always kind, always sure of himself in society, always sweet and understanding. A Colin who wrote her letters from across the sea to include her in his adventures and always made time for her and was always there with a joke or a question about how she was feeling.

And the thing is: Colin IS kind and he IS sweet and understanding, but there is no always about that. There is no always about anyone. Colin sulks. Colin sobs. Colin feels deeply and loves deeply and hurts deeply. Colin is curious. Colin is lonely. Colin is needy and hungry and conflicted. Colin is tender and emotional. Colin is sarcastic and sharp. Colin is quiet and withdrawn and holds his hurts so tightly, can't ask for help. Colin wants to be useful. Most people do. But when he isn't, he feels aimless. Colin succumbs to the pressures of his society. Colin is rejected and abandoned and blames himself. Colin is warm and empathetic and studious and selfless but he is also angry and jealous and avoidant and human.

The Colin Penelope claimed she always loved was not a person. He was a prince on a horse. And let's be very clear here: in many ways, the real Colin absolutely still is a princely character. That's why very minor things like him saying he wouldn't court her got blown up SO big in the fandom. Compared to 'wed bed and bred' from Season 2? Hell, even compared to some of what Penelope herself has said? Colin absolutely is a sweetheart through and through.

But honestly, the moment where I did feel like Penelope loved and accepted him? Was after the entrapment line. Yes yes, I know. Booooo tomatoes tomatoes tomatoes from the majority of the fandom who INSISTS on demonizing him for it, but. . .truly? That was exactly how someone who actually accepts him would react.

He lashed out, he was hurt, he was upset at her (and let's be clear here: for very, VERY good reason. Most if not ALL people would be upset to find out their fiance was hiding a double life from them), and she absorbed it. She took that blow and assured him, because she knew what he meant was Do you even love me? and her response to it was Yes, I do. I do love you. That was the right way to go about it. That scene, for me, was a moment in which she really saw him. And she really cared for him. No bells, no whistles, no galloping in on a horse with an open hand for her to take. Colin showed her the side of him that could be ugly and mean and she said Yes, this too. All of it. All of you.

That was the only way she should have reacted. Because if she didn't absorb that blow? If she DIDN'T accept him for who he was? That's the death of their love story. If Colin said 'Yes, but you're my mess' and Penelope said 'Too much mess, chuck it out'? What kind of romance would that be? Not a romance at all, really, but a breakup. When Colin said something previously that hurt her, she threw their whole relationship away. Her hearing him say something that hurt her but still choosing him is important character growth.

There truly were not enough moments like that for me in the show. Bridgerton, and Polin more specifically, tends to lean on the whole 'Oh, she's always had feelings for him' thing to justify us getting less genuine affection and acceptance from her in the season, but the truth is that those feelings weren't based on anything real. Their push back, their back and forth, their fights- that's real. It's easy saying you love someone through the good times. Far less so to truly love them through the tough ones. It is only love, actually love, if you love them through the tough ones. Otherwise, it's artifice. Otherwise, it's a bubble waiting to pop with nothing of substance beneath the shiny, iridescent skin.

So, no, Penelope did not always love Colin Bridgerton. There is no always have.

There is, however, an always will.

[contrautism]

(this is long and not super structured but i need to out this into the air for when i actually write a proper essay or sumn lmao.)

i feel like a big reason why a lot of people fail to properly digest the plot and themes of whc1/2 is that they can’t turn off ship brain. and no i’m not one of those “it’s a bromanceee😩” people because a. it’s not and b. they don’t understand the show either.

weak hero is a show that requires you to examine every single dynamic with an equally watchful eye. what is sieun to suho? suho to beomseok? beomseok to youngyi? you even need to dive into all their different dynamics with the bullies (ex. what is it that makes sieun a target vs. beomseok, and how does that translate to the differences in how they’re harassed?) you have to understand how every single character and their actions impacts everyone else. if you watch weak hero as the sieun x suho show (which is your prerogative i promise you i’m not going to war over it) and not a show that highlights destructive cycles of violence, the way that ideals of “masculinity” reward and encourage violence, the ways in which children are used, abused, and discarded within society, and so on and so on and so on, then you miss out on a lot of what truly builds weak hero into what it is.

and like? idk walk w me for a second.

suho was sieun’s first friend, the first person that has his back, the first person who actually cared about him. he loves that boy in a way that he doesn’t properly understand because he has never needed to process emotions in such a way.

suho and sieun were the same for beomseok, but he didn’t have the same ability to accept that he possibly had something good. they were beomseok’s first friends, first people that gave a fuck about him, the first people in his life that didn’t beat his ass every day and night and make him feel unworthy of breathing. and he zeroed in on suho as suho was who he wanted/wanted to like him/wanted to be (complex ass set of feelings, right).

i’d honestly argue that everything sieun felt for/about suho, beomseok felt just as (if not more) intensely and was even more lost when it came to navigating that. which is a fucking nightmare when you remember the communication skills he never got to develop, as that doesn’t just mess up how he interacts with others but also how he interprets other people’s words and actions. and we see how that plays out.

you can’t just water down beomseok’s character to him being jealous and “sociopathic” (also please stop throwing that word around? lmao) and the one that broke apart #real lovers, because it shows that you refuse to engage with who his character actually is and what he represents in regards to the show’s themes and messages.

well actually i mean you can but that don’t make it right. i don’t have it in me at the moment to break down all the ways in which being a victim of horrific abuse for years can break down a child’s psyche in ways that will take twice as long to repair, the inner workings of a 16 year old boy’s mind, the fact that it wasn’t just about an instagram follow, yadda yadda, so to wrap this up:

1. shipping is fun i love it woo but i feel that a lot of the show that deserves to be dug into more just… isn’t? at least not by certain areas of the fandom and that’s not the end of the world but it does just upset me (seeing as how in those same circles i often see very odd discussion of beomseok as an abuse victim).

2. i yearn for more detailed analyses of sieun & suho vs suho & beomseok vs beomseok & sieun’s relationships with each other in ways that truly respect all of their characters and the deep emotions they feel for each other (platonic, romantic, resentment, jealousy, allat). GO DEEPER WITH THE “FIRST LOVE” COMMENT FROM THE DIRECTOR! REACH THE CENTER OF THE EARTH!

alright that’s all i got i hope you can see where my head is at😭