#There is a reason the image is staticky

[suns64]

A sleeping family... 💤

[firewolf-pyro]

8. REMORSE

The Doctor enters through the cracked open window of the control room onboard the crescent ship. Rose and him both are climbing into the ship that is sticking up sideways in the snow. The room is nearly vertical to the ground with how the ship had crash landed. Both of them drop into it then are suddenly horizontal on the ship’s surface as the artificial gravity onboard the spacecraft takes hold of them. The snow storm outside of the ship has increased, the howling of the winds are so intense that each step they take into the ship causes it to shiver and quake, threatening to rock sideways or backwards in the wind.

“There has to be a reason this Dalek is here- what reason would a genocidal creature like that have coming to a frozen wasteland?” He moves quickly away from the cold open window over to the screens of the control room. The computers there are flickering and staticky having some obvious damage from the crash but they are still clearly functioning. With a smirk he immediately begins messing with what he could, the sound of his sonic screwdriver low under that of the storm just behind him.

“It could just be here by accident… Like the other one.”

She suggests and turns to look at the world outside of the ship that is horizontal to them. The blizzard outside has gotten so bad that she can no longer see the TARDIS beyond besides a few flickers of the blue box every once in a while.

“Mistakes? Daleks don’t make this many mistakes. Their whole ideology wouldn’t allow for it, oh good the computers’ Star mapping functions are still available.” He ignores Rose and what she is looking at, instead he is frantically poking and prodding at the Dalek converted computer system. He opens a Star map to try and figure out where the Dalek was coming from and where they were planning to go.

“Or, maybe they aren’t as perfect as they seem to think they are. As perfect as you seem to believe they are.” She retorts as she leans against the wall watching the snow beyond. She squints her eyes as a dull yellow light flickers through the dark snow beyond them. She moves to lean out of the window, her hair shifting under the hat of hers down towards the snowy ground below her. Under the groan and moan of the wind she can barely hear the familiar noise of heavy machinery.

“This - this doesn’t make sense… They came from earth, they JUST came from earth. What was this Dalek even DOING on earth?” The Doctor scrolls through the star map’s route showing the planetary system the ship came from then scrolls forwards to see where it was going. The solar system the Dalek was attempting to head to was nearly a light year away from this place.

“Oh- old stomping grounds…” He whispers as he seems to recognize the planet that the star map pulls up. The strangely colored marble rotates around and around on the screen as he peers at it. The only reason the Daleks had abandoned this one was due to the strange sentient plant life that had an odd habit of rooting down into metal. Sure their seed pods were rather explosive too- but the Daleks seemed to have opted out of wasting their time attempting to totally terraform this planet at the time.

“Doctor… Doctor I think she’s coming back-“ She looks over her shoulder for a brief moment before looking back out the window towards the growing light. By now the machine’s front, hauling the casing, was cutting through the snow and was mostly visible.

“Why would you … Wouldn’t they want to waltz right back into the current hive? Why hide out in an abandoned Dalek mining facility?” He pulls up visual records from the computers connected to the planet. A few comic book images of the planet are scattered throughout other images of a forest covered planet with large vine-like plants that had even larger flowers on them. Amongst the images are pictures of old Dalek casing’s with the flowering vines sprouting from their surfaces .

“Doctor…” Rose backs away from the window as she keeps her eyes on the machine while the shovel presses right up against the side of the ship. It shakes the crescent ship with such force that Rose stumbles backwards, thumping into the computers where the Doctor had also braced himself. After the shockwave there is stillness. The machine’s noises echo through the space of the control room along with the howling winter wind. A groan comes from the outermost part of the ship as the cat clambers out of the vehicle onto the shovel then into the ship itself. She sits with a huff just inside of the window. Rose backs away from her but keeps herself between the Doctor and the cat. The Doctor is looking furiously down at the half frozen cat.

“Did it get too cold for you, kitty cat?” The Doctor scoffs in a mocking tone once she is seated against the underside of the window. He inches around Rose’s side to try and get to her. Now was the perfect time to rip that mutant away from the warmth of its host. With it half frozen it’s actions would be slow and sloppy.

“Oh jargza off you old jaski.” She sputters as her arms pull into a self hug. She is very obviously shivering with snow coating the outside of her snowsuit.

“Hey now! Watch your language and I am in no way irrelevant.” He looks first surprised by the swearing then offended via the insult. He wanted to go around Rose’s side but she prevents him by elbowing his gut.

“Why’d you come back? You have what you wanted-“ Rose starts, stepping closer to the cat who is now chattering her teeth as she tries to warm herself. Even in the ship they can see each other’s breaths.

“I- … Is your companion blind, horrorkon esc j-wibbial.”

She looks mildly concerned at Rose before making a move to stand up. The action causes Rose to stiffen, the girl wanting to stand her ground just in case this was a move to harm her or her partner. But the cat woman didn’t make a move for anyone, the goal primarily seemed to be to get away from the open window.

“Oh man I think the weather here’s busted my translator or something, Rose did you catch any of that?” The Doctor glares over at the cat who is now dusting the snow off of her coat and stumbling away from the window. He moves to stand beside Rose who is carefully moving closer to the cat.

The cat circles back around the console of the control center’s computer system. She looks over what files the Doctor had open and glances over to him then to Rose with a deepening look of concern. Had he figured out what she was planning yet? The Doctor and Rose both walk just a few feet away from her side. She is keeping a close eye on both of them as she closes out the Star system maps and instead pulls up a radar system designed to read the current weather and predict what is to come. She hoped he had not.

“Not a word, but I’m sure she’s trying to insult you.” Rose stops just a foot or so away from the cat’s shoulder. She was peering mostly at the cat’s back, inching closer and closer as if aiming to pull the hood down from her again.

“Well you are not wrong there, Menns thing.” She glares over her shoulder at Rose, but doesn’t move away. She was daring her to continue her approach. With how much blood the host had lost if she pulled him off of her now she was done for. He was absolutely ready to justify killing Rose just for causing the host’s death.

“With how freely you are talking I’m going to assume you aren’t just … Some soldier or drone?” The Doctor also moves carefully around to the cat’s other side. He is glancing at the screen then back to the cat as he does so. With her closed in on both sides it would be easier to detain her.

Rose uses the very points of her fingers to gently pull the hood of the cat’s snowsuit down. Before either the Doctor or Rose can react a tendril comes shooting out from the cloth and slaps her hand hard enough to make her yelp. Rose quickly steps back a few feet holding her hand close to her. She pulls her glove off to see a very red welt along the surface.

“I warned you not to touch me again. That is your SECOND warning.” Blueton snarls, the hood is pulled back up to cover her head via some tendrils before she turns to face the Doctor who is reaching out to Rose in a sympathetic sort of way. She gives him a scolding look as if to say ‘get control of your little pet.’

“Rose- are you okay?” He skirts around behind the cat to comfort Rose who at this point is glaring in a hurt manner at the cat. He takes her hand and looks over the red welt. He’d taught Dalek mutants in the past sure but the most out of it he had ever experienced was being choked out. He wasn’t away they could use their tentacles in this manner.

“Be thankful I did not hit you harder.” The cat woman growls lowly before standing tall over the computers in front of herself. The fact that she had to deal with both of these humanoids had really made this trip more complicated. Now she had to figure out how to ditch them, and keep them out of her… Well, buisiness.

“I will be stuck here for awhile if this snow storm does not give in, this is worse than the oquolloquox on Skaro.” She crosses her arms back over her chest and turns to look over the Doctor and Rose who are standing shoulder to shoulder. Her head tilts a bit to the side as she observes their interaction; she wishes she could join in for the body heat alone.

“That was entirely unnecessary, Dalek.” The Doctor glares at the cat as he coddles Rose to his side. He lets Rose take her hand back to herself. If this one could hit that hard with just one tendril he did not want to know what else it could do. He felt horrible for the cut this creature was clung to- it must have been a horrible fight.

“It was necessary. All of the Menns things only seem to learn via punishment or reward. And to answer your question, no. I am not a drone nor am I a mere soldier.”

She turns to look back over the computer’s readings. The storm readings she was staring at looked to be growing then shrinking then growing again. The strange pulsing made her think the planet’s atmosphere had been strangely damaged via their entry.

“Stop calling her an alien, Rose, this is… A Dalek piloting some poor cat nurse. Cat nurse piloted Dalek, Rose-“ He gestures between the two of them. He is still moving closer to the cat now that Rose has been seen to. There could be a way to remove the mutant from her without harming her- but he would definitely need to be careful about it.

“There is no need for introductions. You will either kill me for simply being a Dalek, or- I exterminate you for being the enemy of the Daleks.”

Actions: she turns to glare at the Doctor, once again ignoring Rose entirely. She stood tall as the Doctor walks right up to her front.

“Tell me the truth, and tell me honestly. Why are you here? How did you get here? And this ship is clearly non-Dalek, so how did you get it? Why are you even using it?” He leans on the counter to prevent the cat from averting her eyes back to the screen. His arm is rested on the counter to block more of the screen. With the controls and the important information in front of her blocked off the cat nun lets out an irritated huff. She glanced behind her to the door leading to the rest of the ship. She debated showing him- would he kill what she had created? Would it prevent him from killing her?

“Please… We won’t try and hurt you- I won’t let him hurt you- we just want to know what’s going on here.” Rose pulls her glove back on as she cautiously walks towards the door that the cat was glancing towards. She was curious about what might be behind it.

“And if I do not?” She answers the question with a question. When she notices Rose step closer to the door she also takes a few steps back towards it. Was Rose lying? Would she actually protect her and what she had made from this monster? Could she actually protect her and what she had created from this mess of a man? She didn’t believe so, she did not trust this situation.

“What’s behind door number one, eh?” The Doctor bolts over to the door with Rose, blocking the cat’s path. He flings his hand onto the button that opens the door then rushes out into the hall. He stops dead in his tracks. The hallway is dark, the lights are non functional.

When the cat nun sees that the whole inner system of the ship was inoperable she moves quickly past both Rose and the Doctor through the darkness to the exact room she really did not want to lead her worst enemy to. Her worries were about the life support system controlling the fluid levels in her little experiment. She tests the dead door panel with her hands before prying the panel off of the wall. Quickly she fiddles with the wiring - with a flash the door slides open before the lights go dead again. Before the Doctor or Rose can get to her she is in the lab. She is lost in the dark for only a moment before the lights in the lab flash blue then bright white. She takes a moment to thank Skaro the backup generators to this room hadn’t been damaged in the crash.

“Thank the song of the Lallapalange they are not dead-“ The cat leans against the tank's glass and stares deep into the dark yellow water. She completely ignores the entrance of the Doctor who carefully looks around himself- though he sticks an arm out to block Rose from entering the room with him. He had a sense of what was going on in here- the last thing he wanted was to get Rose stuck between him and a very protective brooder.

“So… This…” He takes a good long look around himself at all of the different tanks along the walls. This was a nursery. He side steps to one of the walls and peers into the murky fluid beyond. There was no doubt about it.

“Oh… Oh~” He smiles looking over at the cat then immediately frowns. He blinks back to the tanks as he relaxes a hand to the warm glass. This was- something morally horrible he had to debate with himself. These were Daleks- this was a Dalek broodery. These babies had done nothing wrong but they would, he had no doubts about that. They would grow up to be killers. They would grow up to be one the most dangerous species in the universe. He had not prevented their species creation in a past life- but maybe today he could prevent another wave from growing up. Prevent them from killing off more alien species later on down the road.

“I have witnessed thousands upon thousands of my own kind perish… I do not know if I could handle losing these ones too.” She keeps her gaze on the tanks as she moves towards one of the computers reading the life signs of the creatures within. She kneels down to read the lower display screens. They were stable. All one hundred of them. She let out a deep sigh of relief.

“Yet the deaths of billions of other species doesn’t bother you one bit?” The Doctor scoffs though quiets himself when he sees the cat visibly flinch. He stays where he is to watch her. It had? The deaths of other species had bothered this one? Or was that the cat nun herself reacting to the statement. Reacting to the memories of the Dalek itself about the mass exterminations, the death camps, the planet glassing.

“It is easy if you do not see them as people.” The cat nun seems to relax in that sentiment, standing and staring into the water. A very soft smile pulls itself onto her lips as she watches the tiny squid looking things only about an inch across move around in the liquid. No, Daleks did not see other species as sentient. They had trouble comprehending the idea that others could think like them. Different was inertly wrong.

“But they are still people.” Rose speaks up from the doorway. She doesn’t make a move to enter the room knowing if she did the Doctor would likely react poorly to it. Instead she steps from side to side watching the two interact with the creatures in the tanks around them.

“And Yet I am still using one as a flesh puppet.”

She turns towards the Doctor and points towards the door. Her look of love towards what was growing in that tank turns immediately to one of sheer rage. She couldn’t have him here. Not with these little ones all around her. He would kill them, she decided. The predator of the Daleks wouldn’t care if they were children or not- she knew this.

“GET OUT! Get OUT of my lab and AWAY from my Arkellis!” The metallic snarl calls out as she steps closer to the Doctor. The cat snarls in the Doctor’s direction causing him to flinch backwards. Now this is as the reaction the man was expecting from her the first time when she came back to the ship. Instead of moving away the Doctor glances over the tanks and the computers behind her. He stands up from the tanks he was looking into and steps closer to her instead. She certainly seemed to care quite a bit about this brood. It weirded him out a little.

“Who are you… Really.” He stares into the cat’s face. His arms are outstretched as if offering himself up to her. It was time to try a more gentle tactic here as he was still debating on what he would do. Could he bring himself to kill off these small creatures? All it would take was a flick of a switch really, all he had to do was turn off the life support systems and the small Dalek mutants would perish.

“I am Dalek Strategist BT122.”

“The BLUE one! Oh- of COURSE it HAD to be the BLUE one!” The Doctor yells and takes a step closer to her. The connections were drawn as he recalled exactly where he knew this casing from. A Time War Strategist- one who certainly worked closely with the Time Controller. This realization only seems to anger her further.

“Listen- Blue- or.. Blu. Or…Blueberry or-“ He takes another step closer to her. The rumors about this maddened strategist ran wild during the chaotic war. He wanted to test them, test what exactly was true about this snake.

“You do not know me, Storm.”

“No, I really do- story’s about a meddling Dalek causing strategies to fail despite their calculations showing they should have succeeded… Sure you’re no Rusty but -“ He glances towards Rose who is watching the both of them with a look of concern. His smile widened- she should be concerned. This Dalek in front of them was one of the true insane.

“There is no proof tying any of those failures to me.”

“Are you sure? Last I heard you were locked up in some god forsaken asylum somewhere. It seems not even your own empire believes you DIDN'T play a role in those ‘failures’.” He cackles as he took another step closer, closing the distance between him and the cat. He grapples her, his arms wrapping around her much unlike a hug. The illusion of a friendly face had worked. A little bit of compassion and he could walk all over his victims.

“GET OFF!” They push him trying to get him off of herself. With a few shuffly steps the cat tries to push or pull the Doctor away from the tanks. Her goal was to get back out into the hallway.

“Come on, Blue- tell me why you are here-“ He reaches a hand into the suit again trying to get a hold on any part of the Dalek mutant. By doing so the cat makes a gagging coughing noise- blood spewing out of her throat and mouth as the Dalek releases her entirely. Blueton was fed up with all of this touching.

“THIRD WARNING REVOKED!” He snarles and bolts off of the woman’s back. She collapses into the Doctor's arms very clearly dead. The holes in her throat ooze blood letting the last of her warmth trickle out into the floor around the man. The Doctor gasps and quickly holds his hands up around the bleeding wounds, sinking down to the ground to better hold pressure on them. It wouldn’t matter, however. She had no pulse.

“No- nooo Blue no-“ The Doctor winces letting the woman sink down to the floor carefully as he looks around trying to find where Blueton had leapt to. She was a lost cause, he was sure of it. And now with the mutant on the loose out of sight he worried he had taken a step too far. What was this insane creature plotting? He had to think a step ahead of them but how could he? The damned thing was so unpredictable.

“Oh my god-“ Rose gags at the sight of blood seeping out onto the floor around the woman. She frantically looks up around the room trying to spot where the Dalek mutant had gone. The Doctor shouts, jabbing his finger towards some movement. Blueton was in the computers, their longer tendrils dangling over the edge of them as they scrambled up their sides. They say there, shorter tendrils on the controls- staring at the Doctor waiting for him to move.

“You didn’t have to do that- … You didn’t have to kill her…”

“I don’t believe she was even alive to begin with, Doctor.” Anis states from where she stood at the entrance of the lab room. Behind her in the dark hallway some torchlights flicker around as more people explore the interior of the ship. Behind her Bastion and Lesly both peak their head into the room. The Doctor looks over at the group behind him which is enough of a give to make Blueton lunge down at him. No one there was ready for such an ambush.

[dustedmagazine]

the sheaves — Excess Death Cult Time (Minimum Table Stacks)

We can’t seem to find a photo of the sheaves, but this came up in the image search. 

Excess Death Cult Time by the sheaves

If you’re going to compare the sheaves to the Fall, fair enough, but let’s be clear. The reference point is not the hooky, keyboard-lighted Fall of the Brix years, they of “C.R.E.E.P.” and “Cruiser’s Creek.”  No, this is more like the late dystopic Fall, the slurry, spitty years following Country on the Click, where Mark E. Smith drawled madly on over disintegrating textures of rock-adjacent guitar noise. Like end-stage Fall, the sheaves are always falling apart, always dissolving into chemicals, always losing the thread. Listening to Excess Death Cult Time is like trying to make sense of a dream you’re having, not later, but while it’s still going on.

The title track, for instance, starts with a bass haring off in an indeterminant direction, and someone coughing. Soon, two more guitars are at it, noodling high and not in any recognizable key, at odds with one another, but possibly making the convergent points. (Imagine a bar fight where two drunks are yelling at each other at increasing volume but, weirdly, yelling the same thing.) The drums very nearly hold things together, or at least keep them in the same room, but chaos roils underneath, always ready to spew up out of the murk. And over all this, the singer, drones disconsolately, his voice discernible mostly as a buzz but occasionally taking shape in words, i.e., “Are you losing your hair, it’s passing you by, it’s passing you by, it’s a lovely excess death cult time.” The song is a mess of sharp-edged parts clanking together.

This is a band not afraid to try out a song called “Guitar Wank,” which, true to its name, gives a pair of players license to do whatever the fuck, in concert and conflict with a high noodling keyboard, also wandering untethered. The song coalesces out of parts, taking shape from dream-like voices, doubled, but slightly out of sync, and a snaggle of intertwined dissonance. Imagine staring at tangled piles of junkyard wires until you can see the shapes of animals in them (and then staring longer, until these shapes disappear). This is what listening to “Guitar Wank” is like.

Not that it’s unpleasant, especially if you’ve been weaned on folk-noise-industrial eccentrics like Siltbreeze’s Pink Reason and CIA Debutant. If it were easier to get to the songs, you might not bother. Everybody loves a challenge. And so, perhaps, it’s worth mentioning that two songs on this disc come together right away, not exactly welcoming you in, but at least opening the door.  

“Hit Silly” is the real ringer here, with its rumbling shimmy of electric guitars and half swallowed vocals giving it a cracking, staticky sheen like early Guided by Voices. It’s considerable signal cuts through the noise. Indeed, it’s anthemic the way the guitar chords shift in inevitable ways. There’s a clear progression and none of the antic scrabbling in corners, the mumbled venom, the chaos.

“Lariat Slung” makes it a party, too, with its thundery bass and antic carnival keyboards. The singer elides and swallows the words, muttering ominously most of the time then breaking into startling clarity. “Oh there’s nothing to do, all of the time, oh say, I feel sick, all of the time.”  You might feel a little woozy yourself by this point, but in a good kind of way.

Jennifer Kelly

[faytelumos]

"Sir, visual contact with an incoming craft?"

Admiral Paxie turned their head, quirking a heavy jaw in confusion. Engineer Tinel wore a similar expression, her four eyes glittering questioningly. Paxie padded down from the captain's chair, thick claws clicking on the metal deck as they made their way.

The display showed, unmistakably, another spacecraft on a steady course through the system. It was travelling briskly.

"Show course," Paxie instructed. Tinel pushed a few buttons and the computer quickly mapped a course.

The ship wasn't… aiming for anything.

"Where are they going?" Paxie mused.

"We don't have much data for their course yet," Tinel reasoned. "Maybe they're turning?"

"Maybe…. What can we tell about their ship?"

"This style and material composite isn't in our registry," she replied, pressing more buttons. She looked up. "We haven't met this species yet."

A shiver of excitement and nervousness surged over Paxie's scales. They'd always wanted to be involved in a first contact. But other Xoixes were always better qualified, with better personalities and better ratings. But now an unknown species had wandered right into Paxie's patrol zone.

They couldn't mess this up.

"Maintain a visual connection, even if we have to adjust course."

"Yes, sir."

"Captain, you have the bridge while I'm gone," Paxie declared, turning and trotting off to the elevator.

"Aye, sir."

Before Paxie could initiate contact, they had to get permission and instruction from home command. They made a quick report, explaining the situation briefly and succinctly before starting the instant relay drive. A tight radio signal fired the situation into a narrow wormhole, and within half an hour, they had their permission and the adjusted steps in return.

Paxie read the instructions over with their captain.

"This is… unorthodox," Captain Eme mused.

"This is an unorthodox situation," Paxie replied.

"I suppose so." He sighed, reading the instructions again. "Why can't I ever have a boring assignment?" Paxie laughed through sharp teeth.

The first step was to send the Greeting Call. It projected without issue as the strange ship's course was indeed straight.

The entire bridge and likely most of the crew waited and watched the live readout of the ship's course and activity. Some species waited a long time to reply to the Greeting Call. Others sent back replies within a day. Yet others didn't reply at all, but began to defend themselves against an imaginary threat. The way a society answered the Greeting Call was often the best way to judge if they were ready for contact.

"We got a reply," Tinel said. Everyone leaned forward.

"What'd they say?" Paxie asked. She hit some buttons… then hit them again… then squinted.

"There's… no data. It was just… a ping."

Odd….

"Maybe they need a confirmation?" Eme offered. "We don't know what sector they come from. They could get complex signals all the time."

"Good point," Paxie replied. "Send the call again."

"Yes, sir."

The Greeting Call went out again. This time the ship was quiet.

The Xoixes all waited, watching the ship as it made its way through the system, steadily closer to the patrolling squad. By now, the four other ships in the squad were surely waiting with bated breath, everyone watching the silent, alien craft as it bustled its way through empty space.

An hour passed. There was no change in course. There was no replying call. Paxie sagged further and further into their seat as Eme paced the bridge slowly.

"S-sir!" Tinel cried. Everyone perked up at once. "We're being hailed!"

"Open the channel," Paxie ordered as Eme clamored into his seat. Everyone sat straight and tall, ears perked, claws down. There was a staticky buzz, and then an image was projected before the bridge.

Two creatures stood in the image. What struck Paxie most about them was that… they didn't look like predators. All intelligent species had been apex predators of their planets. But these creatures seemed… squishy. They didn't have claws on their thin little hands. They didn't have any kind of armor on their awkward, boxy shoulders. Even their jaws were so unlike the Xoixe's; thin and… delicate. And their teeth, shyly exposed from soft-looking skin, were flat.

What they did have were massive foreheads.

They spoke, and the computer above whirred and clicked as it deciphered the language. Paxie watched with burning curiousity at how their faces moved. Two eyes, an inelegant nose, and thick lips. What could the purpose of such… puffy mouths be? The two specimens were different slightly in shape and height, and one was light-colored while the other was dark.

The computer clicked and chimed.

"Greetings," Paxie announced, and the computer repeated their words in the other's language. "I am Admiral Uten Paxie of Arkinu. Our species is the Xoixe. It is a pleasure to meet a new race of intelligence." Paxie and Eme bowed their heavy heads.

The two creatures looked to each other with wide eyes. The smaller one, the dark specimen with a more delicate build, looked back and spoke first.

"Greetings, Admiral P-Pak-shey," they managed. Someone on the bridge lowered their head to stifle a small laugh. "I am Captain Adina Ramirez of Earth, and this is Lieutenant Johnathan Harrison." Harrison, taller and of a sturdier (but still not predatory) build, lifted one of those strange, soft-looking hands and shook it slightly. Paxie glanced to Eme, feeling slightly embarrassed at forgetting to introduce him.

Not a great start.

"We weren't expecting to meet intelligent life on our journey," Captain Adina said. "Normally, we probably would have packed a few extra diplomats. Unfortunately, you're stuck talking to scientists."

Ramirez and Harrison both bore teeth and stuttered their breathing. It was… unsettling to see a species bare its teeth while laughing. But those teeth were so flat.

It made Paxie light-headed.

"You have no diplomats?" Paxie asked. Ramirez turned their head side-to-side but did not move their eyes.

"No, we didn't bring any."

"Bring from where?" Paxie asked, tilting their head confusedly. Ramirez and Harrison both raised the little line of fur above one eye, then looked to each other.

"From our home planet," Ramirez replied.

"Would you feel more comfortable if we contacted your diplomats?" Paxie offered. Eme looked confused now, too. Ramirez lowered the corners of that puffy mouth, their little fur patches creasing together above their nose.

"Even if we could, our home planet is twelve lightyears away."

Paxie waited for further elaboration, but Ramirez offered none. Eme leaned his head close to Paxie's and uttered lowly:

"They don't have any rings on their ship."

Paxie blinked and looked back towards the engineering station. How had they not noticed? This ship had no rings or projecting structures. And they had no Faster Than Light signature.

They had just been puttering through the system on a barely active engine.

Paxie turned sharply to Eme, noticing Ramirez and Harrison were also muttering to each other.

"So they don't have FTL technology."

"And they're already twelve lightyears away from their home planet."

"They weren't even travelling at fifty percent the speed of light."

Eme blinked and looked to the engineering station.

"Captain Ramirez," Admiral Paxie announced. "How did you travel here? What methods did you use — how long have you been traveling?"

"We use combustion engines, igniting fuel to produce thrust in a directed vector," Ramirez explained. "Our ship launched," Ramirez stumbled on a word, "26 million of our years ago."

There were gasps all across the bridge, and Paxie felt the blood draining from their face. These creatures had been living on that tiny vessel for 26 million years? No wonder they had lost all of their predatory adaptations.

Eme lowered his head, and Paxie almost did the same. But this was first contact. This was their only first contact. They had to keep a straight face. They had to make a good first impression, for their entire species. They swallowed.

"How many generations have passed on your ship, Captain Ramirez?"

"None," Ramirez replied, and just as Paxie felt their hearts begin to stop— "everyone on this ship is in cryogenic stasis. Our ship received your call and selected Lieutenant Harrison and myself to respond."

Cryogenic… what?

What in the name of Creation had caused a species to freeze all crew on a ship?

What did this say about how they would treat other species if they were willing to do this to themselves?

And what in all the universe was a species this old doing traveling by candlelight?

"Captain Ramirez, Lieutenant Harrison, please excuse us," Paxie managed before toggling off the translation protocol. They looked to Eme, who looked just as horrified as they felt.

"What the fuck," Eme breathed.

"They must have fled a dying system," Paxie whispered. "There's no other reason for this kind of self-abuse."

"Admiral, I don't think we want to get to know these people."

"If they're an orphaned species, we have to offer refuge." Eme looked back to the specimens on the screen. They were talking to each other, but the language filtered in untranslated and meaningless. "If their system was dying, then it was freezing their survivors and praying or dying outright."

"Admiral," Eme whispered, his voice lower now than ever. "If they've been asleep for so long, then why are they so alert now?" Paxie eyed the specimens. They had no baseline to measure health of this species, but it was true. Any species (except perhaps the Keloyans) was groggy and awkward after sleep. Moreso the more they slept. These creatures had been asleep for 26 million years.

This not-predator species was becoming increasingly frightening.

"What do we do?" Eme whispered. The two specimens had stopped talking now, and Ramirez was watching Paxie steadily. Patiently.

It made them shiver.

"We send a boarding crew," Paxie muttered. "Small, non-threatening. I think they're a prey species." Eme scoffed. "We'll figure out what's going on, and make a decision from there."

---

next

When the humans came out of the void between stars, the Xoixe were startled. They were used to initiating first contact. When they learned they hadn’t seen the humans coming because they hadn’t used FTL, they were concerned. When they learned about cryogenic freezing they were horrified.

[systastic]

9, 16, and 32 for the ask game! ~ roulettesys [Lucky]

9. does your system have system members who age slide or age regress?

yup. most of us do, actually. we experience age as more as a feeling than a number, so virtually everyone age slides. tbf tho, they aren’t very large gaps (17 to 19, 18 to 23, 7 to 11, 5 to 9… etc)

if you mean specifically to a way smaller form, then i guess cody does? he rarely appears as an adult in his late twenties, but his regular form is a fifteen year old. doesn’t really change how he acts though.

16. what system member is the strangest species?

we have a few atypical species: vampire, vocaloid, mermaid, moth shifter slash cryptid, angels, ghosts, hybrids… the weirdest one has to be a tie between misery and umbra.

misery, aka xey who will not be named, is a living shadow. its hard to get xem under control cus of it. xey can shapeshift, ignore blocks, whisper to current fronters when not being close to front, and even influence physical actions to pull ppl close to front (mainly persecutors)

umbra is… nothing. literally nothing. its like a giant static mass / blob that is insanely eloquent for god knows what reason. its like a presence but also… not? like you know someone is there but you can’t see shit. they have a staticky or scribbled appearance if it pushes themself to take on a human form.

32. which system member has the most based takes? [for current fronter]

two of us are here rn, so we’ll both answer:

❤️ (kris) — dunno, tbh. id say ella, aspen or silas. ella can be over critical but she has solid takes. aspen is chill asf & crazy artistic. silas is based af. dude likes cursed images. we both scroll r/diwhy and r/stupidfoods. we are the same person. /j

🪻(imogen) — mmm… honestly? ana. im also in the 12-16 slide range but she’s usually younger than me. still, she’s got some solid takes (endo-neutral/positive, pro-good faith identities, anti-anything that’s harmful to a real life person/animal). so yeah. might be biased here cus we’re so similar, but she’s based.

❤️ (kris) — thx for the ask 👍

[tourettesdog]

A list of some of my personal favorite Danny Fenton headcanons in no particular order:

Transmasc 

Ace and bi (he figures out he’s ace much faster than bi)

He’s very short, roughly 5′1″-5′2″ (Sam is the tallest of the trio)

The portal accident fucked up Danny’s hormones (partly why he’s so short-- also he doesn’t menstruate anymore which is a small win)

Danny’s ghost form is moderately influenced by his mental image of himself, making him appear somewhat more masculine (slightly broader shoulders, a flatter chest)

He has white pupils in Phantom form, but also white sclera (for the aesthetic)

Eyebags for days

His eyes have a subtle glow to them, even when human

Danny doesn’t feel hungry unless he’s overexerted himself/been injured. He still needs to eat semi-regularly to maintain his human body’s condition, but the ectoplasm in Amity Park keeps him comfy

Has to eat Entirely Too Much food if he leaves Amity Park for any period of time to make up for the energy deficit

Can technically survive without ectoplasm, but his ghost half is healthier/stronger through absorbing or consuming ectoplasm regularly

He drinks (usually filtered) ectoplasm when he needs a pick-me-up

Entirely too much coffee, containing worrying amounts of caffeine

Danny has a very hard time putting on weight and muscle and stays pretty scrawny

Does age, but more slowly

He has lichtenberg figures going up his left arm and at least across part of his chest. The scars are white when human, but green when a ghost.

His left hand is messed up from the portal accident. Nerve issues, chronic pain, unreliable grip strength.

He wears a sweatshirt pretty much everywhere, regardless of the temperature. It hides the scars, dysphoria, and is comfy

Danny has a Lot of scars and keeps getting more. For obvious reasons.

His human blood looks normal enough, but close inspection reveals green flecks-- vise versa for the ectoplasm he bleeds as Phantom. If an injury becomes bad enough, the opposite color starts to seep in

He’s very cold to the touch as Phantom, and somewhat cold as human. Once he gets control of his ice powers, he can willfully adjust his temperature a certain amount at the cost of some energy

No heartbeat as Phantom, very slow heartbeat while human

He doesn’t really need to breathe as Phantom, but does so anyway out of habit and instinct

Breathing as Phantom still has some benefits; mostly in being able to calm him down

Fangs in both forms. Not super big ones, he can hide them if he’s careful, but they’re there.

Danny has a healthy fear of electricity. Lightning storms make him anxious and uncomfortable physically (uncomfy, staticky sensations)

He’s very touch-starved and likes to cuddle with his friends. Doesn’t like being touched by people he’s not close to.

He’s very close with Jazz and confides a lot in her. She’s the first person he comes out as trans to

He loves his parents but is genuinely terrified of them after becoming a halfa and struggles to feel close to them (I also like angst so I err on the side of his parents reacting Badly, and Danny and Jazz slowly at least resenting their parental neglect more and more as they get older)

Danny likes to vibe around with a spectral tail more than legs. Will drape/coil the tail over any surface and sometimes friends (usually in summer, or once he can control his temp better)

Ghost core thrumming/humming/pulsing shenanigans with emotions

His core purrs when he’s very happy

He does have an Obsession and it is to either protect or help (I like both equally)

Danny’s Obsession involves (protecting/taking care of) himself as well, but he’s Bad at that. Good friends help. 

He does not pursue a job at NASA. He still loves the stars, but after exploring the Infinite Realms and experiencing so much existential dread, he craves comfort more than the unknown (I am personally terrified of space so that influences this I’m sorry!!!)

He gets Really good at making ice sculptures and sells them. He can control the chill of the ice, making it less of a hazard

If/when he takes up the mantle of Ghost King, he maintains strong ties to the human world 

His ghostly wail always sounds like his 14-year-old dying screams and Sam, Tucker, and Jazz are very upset by it

When Danny’s angry or upset, his ice powers easily bleed into his human form, dropping the temperature and creating frost around him if he’s not careful

He can use his core to keep him cool in summer, but it exhausts his energy badly since he’s not meant for hot weather

Danny still feels the cold when human, though he has a much higher tolerance for it. He prefers cold temperatures, but sometimes he likes being warm just for the sake of being warm (especially when he’s anxious or wants to cuddle)

He gets overstimulated easily by sounds and smells (unaided by enhanced ghost senses)

He doesn’t need to sleep as much as a regular human, but still can’t manage to sleep enough (either due to insomnia, nightmares, or rude interruptions)

YE

I have a lot of other contradictory headcanons I like too, but I just wanted to include ones that can coexist in this list

[submaslover]

Chapter 1 of my Little Nightmares au. The combination of what i have posted so far.

Mist swirls in heavy clouds around the boy as he rushes forward, for what reason he is unsure, but he knows he will lose something if he does not hurry. Quickly he sees his goal, another child tied and suspended above a dark pit. He can almost hear his brother's voice as the rope is cut and the other boy falls.

Ingo wakes a gasp escaping as he sits up frantically glancing around, looking for his brother. Thankfully Emmet is in his spot clinging to his stuffed teddiursa, a happy grin on his face.  

'Thank goodness he must be having a good dream' Ingo thinks relieved as the terrifying dream fades into the forgotten. Ingo settles back down in his spot and watches Emmet for a minute longer. He's glad he has his brother, 'What would I do without him?' He wonders as he reaches out to hold onto one of Emmet's hands. Finally, he closes his eyes and relaxes back into sleep as Emmet squeezes his hand and lets out a small happy noise.

The next time Ingo opens his eyes Emmet is gone, thankfully he can be heard giggling at something close by. Emmet can be seen with a small stick drawing pictures in the mud, and perhaps trying to build a castle with the mud as well, he’s certainly covered in enough of it to make Ingo laugh slightly. Emmet, hearing his brother laugh, calls out to him, “Niiii-san! It rained so much last night! Come play with me?” looking up Ingo can see the cardboard making up their roof was now sporting a large wet patch. They would have to go looking for a new piece today, that however could wait. Ingo really did want to spend some time just playing with his brother in the mud.

Walking through the city was troublesome, the rain rarely let up, but when it did it left behind a chill that will cling to your bones. The sweaters the boys sport hardly help but having someone else close by certainly did. As the twins wander, in search of fresh cardboard, they stay hand in hand. This way Emmet won’t get lost in the city as they walk.

In the city any adults they cross are fixated on the static screens of tvs, so long as they are quiet and stay out of their line of sight the two boys are as good as invisible, to most of the adults. The boys know to stay clear of the hospital and the school, for fear of the teacher and doctor. The images of a long stretching neck and loud clattering from above remain the best deterrent.

Today they find fresh cardboard in an old moldering building, alongside lots of newspaper. The paper can be used for crafts or even bedding, so they take what they can. Ingo is certain something is watching them this day, perhaps a pokemon? Perhaps a staticky remnant of someone stolen away by spectral hands extended from a television screen.

The twins return to their humble home quickly today, Emmet starts to sing happily as soon as home is in sight. Ingo though is still on edge, he can feel eyes on his back, he wants to pick up his brother and run… But where would they go? All they know is the city and its outskirts, on one side a vast swath of water and on the other an unknown stretch of forest. They have only ever been feet into the line of trees, only to hear the whispering of spirits and crackle of static.

“Niii-san!”Emmet calls, placing a hand on Ingo’s back. “You've been staring off at the city for a veeeery long time now, did you see a pokemon?!” Emmet's worry quickly dissolves into excitement at the thought of something so rare and new. Ingo simply shakes his head, “Just the wind.” Ingo had to work hard to keep his voice low, he didn't want his brother to worry and didn't want whatever was watching them to become frantic.

The boys would later catch a rather large squirrel for dinner and turn in, Emmet holding the Teddiursa plush as always. Ingo didn’t want to sleep however, the feeling of eyes on them had never lessened. Alas ingo lost the fight to sleep, only to find himself standing in that dark mist-filled room with the hole in the floor. This time he heard Emmet call for him in a very frightened tone.

[crazy-pages]

@wingedachene But if we actually CHECK THE CITATION rather than just taking it for granted, what do we find?

Exactly what @passerkirbius was talking about!!! The study cuts off at 24!!! It does not extend beyond that point! If you actually read the study certain markers of brain development are slowing down prior to that point, which the researchers take for granted means brain development stops shortly after. But brain development is highly nonlinear, there's no real reason to believe that other than cultural presuppositions about maturity. And there's no reason to believe that other types of brain development don't start up later in life. Heck the exact same kind of brain development could come to a stop and then restart later, or even reverse. We just don't have the data on it.

Abstract talk about science and it's reliability under the readmore.

Remember y'all, science is an error correction algorithm and documentation method. It corrects errors in the same way you would safeguard against signal loss when sending a message through a staticky channel.

Like, if I want to send somebody a digital 1, but there's a chance static could flip that 1 to a 0, that's a problem. One flipped bit might scramble the whole message they're receiving, especially if I'm sending them something like a program or a compressed image. We need a way to make sure that the person on the other end receives my message perfectly even through the static. And the same applies to science. When one mistake can be built upon to create more flawed work, we need a method of bringing the error rate as close to zero as possible.

So what I might do instead is send five 1s and tell the person on the other end beforehand that this is what I'm doing. Some of the 1s are still going to be wrong, but if they get 10110, the odds are better that I meant to send 11111 than 00000. You'd need 3+ flipped bits for them to get the wrong signal, which is much less likely, for math reasons. If you commit enough extra bits to ensuring your message gets through, it's possible to send perfectly readable messages even through a lot of static. And this is what science tries to do with peer review, parallel experimentation, and repeated experiments.

But it's important to know how this system can break down. One obvious way is just not doing enough error correction, not contributing enough extra resources. And that obviously happened here, the neuroscience field never did do follow-up studies actually double checking that neurological development really does stop after 25. But another problem is systemic bias.

That basic error correction algorithm I mentioned up above? It's dependent on the assumption that all errors are random and independent of one another. But what if the problem isn't constant background static, what if the problem is sudden bursts of intense static, which leaves most bits alone but flips a bunch of bits very close together? Well the error correction algorithm I mentioned would totally fail under those conditions. There's nothing it can do about that.

And you can run into similar things with societal preconceptions and biases in science. If everybody just knows that being fat is bad for you, or just knows that we stopped getting more mature in our mid-20s, the people who are supposed to be doing the peer review might not question bad conclusions in line with those beliefs. The scientific process can fail to perform error correction and bad science can slip through.

The good news is though, even when that happens we still benefit from the process of scientifically rigorous documentation. Because the study screencaptured above me didn't just assert that brain development stops at 25, the author cited their source. And we could check that source and its documentation, and see just from the abstract (hell just from the citation itself) that the thing they are citing is inadequate for the claim they are making. No matter what may be in the conclusion of either paper, the sources of their conclusions are rigorously documented enough that we can come back to them later and apply less biased, or at least more critical, analysis to them.

Science is an error correction method which sometimes fails, but it is also a logbook. And it is important that we actually check that logbook when we have disputes about it. Because that logbook is the quickest way we have of course correcting when scientific consensus has failed.

genuinely especially with everything happening in britain rn with regards to trans healthcare we need to start shutting down the "your brain doesn't fully develop until 25!" pseudoscience bullshit asap

[star-going-supernova]

you got anything else for "When the Dead are All Living", such as Gregory's first meeting with Glitched!Vanessa or when he beats the 3rd game?

Your wish is my command! This takes place in the same AU as this ficlet, though, in terms of timeline, this takes place first!

When the Dead are All Liars

“Stupid, useless map,” Gregory muttered, poking at the watch Freddy had given him. Groaning, he let his head thunk back against the wall of the bathroom he was hiding in.

Allowing himself a brief break, he glared up at a small stain on the ceiling in frustration. With the entrance barricaded, he was stuck in the pizzaplex until six, with a handful of robots hunting him down for some reason. He wasn’t even sure he could really trust Freddy but—it wasn’t like there was anyone else who would help him.

“If I was the VIP section, where would I be?” he muttered. The face of the watch was tiny, and the map wasn’t labeled very well. Maybe he should just call Freddy and hope he wouldn’t suddenly go all bloodthirsty too.

As Gregory pushed himself to his feet, he glanced back down at the watch, pausing in surprise. A neat path had been drawn on the map, leading to one of the many unmarked areas.

“Freddy?” Gregory asked, holding his arm a little ways away from his body. “Did you do that?”

He didn’t get an answer.

“Well… thanks.” Should he trust it? Was it some program in the watch marking out a pathway to where he wanted to go? He had mentioned his destination out loud, and the watch had a microphone.

Lacking any other plan, Gregory shrugged and cautiously set out to follow the directions he’d been given.

It wasn’t until later that he found out what—or rather, who—left them.

Between trying to evade the security bots and getting spotted by Roxy, Gregory had unsurprisingly gotten lost again. What could the pizzaplex possibly need so many hallways for?

Not daring to glance behind him—Roxy’s footsteps were plenty loud enough for him to guess how close she was; that being way too close—Gregory planned to keep heading straight at the next intersection.

Except, a woman’s voice suddenly cried out, “Left! Go left!” He didn’t recognize her voice, but it was plainly human. It also sounded tinny, like it was coming through a speaker. Was there a guard or something watching him?

Whoever or wherever she was, Gregory followed her instructions. She clearly knew this maze of a building better than he did, and he’d already done so much running tonight. Even he wasn’t energetic enough to outrun a whole bunch of robots.

The lady’s shouted directions finally led him to a fence barricade. But where he was small enough to slip through the gap between sections, Roxy crashed against it with a horrible metallic screech. Her red eyes followed him through the wires as he scrambled away.

Careening into a storage closet out of Roxy’s sight, Gregory breathed a sigh of relief as he slid down the wall, panting. He’d only just started to relax and come down from the adrenaline high when the woman’s voice suddenly broke the silence, startling him.

“You okay, kid?”

Gregory looked around in a brief panic, heart racing again, before realizing her voice had come from his watch.

“Hello?” he said, raising his wrist closer to his face.

The screen went all staticky for a second before becoming an image of a young woman. She was blonde and wore a white button-up shirt and a black cap reading Security across the front. “Hi,” she said. “Sorry for not helping you sooner, but I had to find your watch first.”

“Uh. That’s okay.” Gregory tried to subtly examine the watch for a camera, but there was no sign that she could see him. And yet, the way her eyes flickered sure made it look like she was taking him in. “Thanks for helping at all, I guess. You’re—do you work here?”

Her shoulders slumped, and she looked away. He frowned, staring at the background behind her. The longer he examined it, the less… real it seemed. Something about it was just empty, in a way he couldn’t quite explain.

“I guess you could say that,” the woman finally answered. “I’m—I was a night guard. My name’s Vanessa.”

“Gregory,” he replied. “And that doesn’t make any sense.”

“It’s a long story—”

“And I’ve kinda got all night.”

Vanessa stared up at him, somewhere between sad and amused, which wasn’t a combination Gregory was used to seeing on adults.

“All right,” she said quietly. “I—” Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. “Tell me, Gregory. Do you believe in ghosts?”

• • •

There was a person in his Fazwatch. A dead person.

• • •

Gregory wasn’t sure if it was easier or harder to trust Vanessa than Freddy. They both seemed to want to help him survive, but he’d been burned before. Being a homeless kid wasn’t exactly a walk in the park.

His options were limited, though, and he definitely couldn’t do this on his own. So… he trusted them. Trusted Freddy to come when he called, trusted Vanessa to find safe paths through the pizzaplex. Trusted them to have his back.

And it all came crashing down when a person in a bunny costume cornered him, a knife poorly hidden behind their back, and said, “Have you been hiding from me, Gregory?”

In Vanessa’s voice.

She had lied to him.

[firewolf-pyro]

REMORSE

Scene: we enter through the cracked open window of the control room onboard the crescent ship. The Doctor and Rose both are climbing into the ship that is sticking up sideways in the snow. The room has a nearly vertical to the ground with how the ship had crash landed. Both of the drop into it then are suddenly horizontal on the ship’s surface showing that the artificial gravity onboard the spacecraft is still active. The snow storm outside of the ship has increased, the howling of the winds are so intense that each step they take into the ship causes it tos shiver and quake.

Doctor: “there has to be a reason this Dalek is here- what reason would a genocidal creature like that have coming to a frozen wasteland?”

Actions: he moves quickly away from the cold open window over to the screens of the control room. The computers there are flickering and staticky having some obvious damage from the crash but they are still clearly functioning.

Rose: “It could just be here by accident… like the other one.”

Actions: she suggests and turns to look it at the world out side of the ship that is at a horizontal to them. The blizzard outside has gotten so bad that she can no longer see the TARDIS beyond besides a few flickers of the blue box every once in awhile.

Doctor: “Mistakes? Daleks don’t make this many mistakes. Their whole ideology wouldn’t allow for it, oh good the computers’ Star mapping functions are still available.”

Actions: he is ignoring Rose and what she is looking at instead frantically poking and prodding at the converted computer system. He opens a Star map to try and figure out where the Dalek was coming from and where they were planning to go.

Rose: “or, maybe they aren’t as perfect as they seem to think they are. As perfect as *you* seem to believe the are.”

Actions: she retorts as she leans against the wall watching the snow beyond. She squints her eyes as a dull yellow light flickers through the dark snow beyond them.

Scene: Rose moves to lean out of the window, her hair shifting under the hat of hers to emphasize the gravity difference between the ship’s interior and exterior. We see from just behind her the single bright yellow light seeming to grow. Under the groan and moan of the wind we can barely hear the familiar noise of heavy machinery.

Doctor: “this - this doesn’t make sense… they came from earth, they JUST came from earth. What was this Dalek even DOING on earth?”

Actions: he scrolls through the Star map’s route showing the planetary system the ship came from then scrolls forwards to see where it was going. We see the screen just as he gets to the solar system the Dalek had been aiming to land at.

Doctor: “oh- old stomping grounds…”

Actions: he whispers as he seems to recognize the planet that the star map pulls up. The strangely colored marble rotates around and around on the screen as he peers at it.

Rose: “Doctor… Doctor I think it’s coming back-“

Actions: she looks over her shoulder for a brief moment before looking back out the window towards the growing light. By now the machine’s front hauling the casing that was driving through the snow was mostly visible.

Doctor: “Why would you … wouldn’t they want to waltz right back into the current hive? Why hide out in an abandoned Dalek mining facility?”

Actions: he pulls up visual records from the computers connected to the planet. A few comic book images of the planet are scattered through out other imagers of a forest covered planet with large vine like plants that had even larger flowers on them. Amongst the images are pictures of old Dalek casing’s with the flowering vine ls sprouting from their metal’s.

Rose: “Doctor…”

Actions: she backs away from the window as she keeps her eyes on the machine as the shovel presses right up against the side of the ship. It shakes the crescent ship with such force that Rose stumbles backwards thumping into the computers where the Doctor had also braced himself into.

Scene: After the shockwave there is stillness. The machine’s noises echo through the space of the control room along with the howling winter wind. A groan comes from the outermost part of the ship then we see the cat clamber out of the vehicle onto the shovel then into the ship itself. She sits with a huff just inside of the window. Rose backs away from her but keeps herself between the Doctor and the cat. The Doctor is looking furiously down at the cat.

Doctor: “Did it get too cold for you, kitty cat?”

Actions: he scoffs in a mocking tone once she is seated against the underside of the window. He is inching around Rose’s side as if he wants to get to her.

Cat: “oh jargza off you old jaski.”

Actions: she sputters as her arms pull in to self hug. She is very obviously shivering with snow costing the outside of her snow suit.

Doctor: “hey now! Watch your language and I am in no way irrelevant.”

Actions: he looks first surprised by the swearing then offended via the insult. He wants to round Rose’s corner but she prevents him by elbowing his gut.

Rose: “why’d you come back? You have what you wanted-“

Actions: she started, stepping closer to the cat who is now chattering her teeth as she tries to warm herself. Even in the ship they can see each other’s breaths.

Cat: “I- … Is your companion blind, horrorkon esc j-wibbial.”

Actions: she looks mildly concerned at Rose before making a move to stand up. The action causes Rose to stiffen, the girl wanting to stand her ground.

Doctor: “oh man I think the weather busted my translator or something, Rose did you catch any of that?”

Actions: he glared over the Cat who is now dusting the snow off of her coat and stumbling away from the window. He moves to stand besides Rose who is carefully moving closer to the cat.

Scene: the cat circles back around the console of the control center’s computer system. She looks over what files the Doctor had open and glances over to him then to Rose with a deepening look of concern. The Doctor and Rose both walk to just a few feet away from her side. She is keeping a close eye on both of them as she closes out the Star system maps and instead pulls up a radar system designed to read the current weather and predict what is to come.

Rose: “Not a word, but I’m sure she’s trying to insult you.”

Actions: she stops just a foot or so away from the cat’s shoulder. She was peering mostly at the cat’s back, inching closer and closer as if aiming to pull the hood down from her again.

Cat: “well you are not wrong there, Menns thing.”

Actions: she glared over her shoulder at Rose, but doesn’t move away. She was dating her to continue her approach.

Doctor: “With how freely you are talking in going to assume you aren’t just … some soldier or drone?”

Actions: the Doctor also moves carefully around to the cat’s other side. He is glancing at the screen then back to the cat as he does so.

Rose: actions: she uses the very points of her fingers to gently pull the hood down, before either the Doctor or Rose can react a tendril come shooting out from the cloth and slaps her hand hard enough to make her yelp. Rose quickly steps back a few feat holding her hand close to her. She pulls her glove off to see a very red welt along the surface.

Cat: “I warned you not to touch me again. That is your SECOND warning.”

Actions: the hood is pull back up to cover her head via some tendrils before she turns to face the Doctor who is reaching out to Rose in a sympathetic sort of way.

Doctor: “Rose- are you okay?”

Actions: he skirts around behind the cat to comfort Rose who at this point is glaring in a hurt manner at the cat. He takes her hand and looks over the red welt.

Cat: “be thankful I did not hit you harder.”

Actions: she growls lowly before standing tall over the computers in front of us. She is still looking rather disappointed in her situation.

Cat: “I will be stuck here for awhile if this snow storm does not give in, this is worse than the oquolloquox on Skaro.”

Actions: she crosses her arms back over her chest and turns to look over the Doctor and Rose who are standing shoulder to shoulder. Her head tilts a bit to the side as she observes their interaction- perhaps wishing she could join in.

Doctor: “that was entirely unnecessary, Dalek.”

Actions: he glared at the cat as he coddled Rose to his side. He lets Rose take her hand back to herself.

Cat: “it was. All of the Menns things only seem to learn via punishment or reward. And to answer your question, no. I am not a drone nor am I a mere soldier.”

Actions: she turns to look back over the computer’s readings. She looks like she is thinking some things over as she ponders the screen.

Doctor: “stop calling her an alien, Rose, this is… a Dalek piloting some poor cat nurse. Cat nurse piloted Dalek, Rose-“

Actions: he gestured between the two of them. He is still moving closer to the car now that Rose has been seen to.

Cat: “there is no need for introductions. You will either kill me for simply being a Dalek, or- I exterminate you for being the enemy of the Daleks.”

Actions: she turns to glare at the Doctor, once again ignoring Rose entirely. She stood tall as the Doctor walks right up to her front.

Doctor: “Tell me the truth, and tell me honestly. Why are you here? How did you get here? And this ship is clearly non-Dalek, so how did you get it? Why are you even using it?”

Actions: he leans on the counter to prevent the cat from averting her eyes back to the screen. His arm is rested on the counter to block more of the screen.

Cat: actions: she keeps still, glancing to the door behind her that leads out towards the hall. It looks as if she is debating on what to say to the Doctor about this.

Rose: “Please… We won’t try and hurt you- I won’t let him hurt you- we just want to know what’s going on here.”

Actions: she pulls her glove back on as she cautiously walks towards the door that the cat was glancing towards. She was curious about what might be behind that.

Cat: “And if I do not?”

Actions: she answers the question with a question. When she notices Rose step closer to the door she also takes a few steps back towards it.

Doctor: “what’s behind door number one, eh?”

Actions: he bolts over to the door with Rose, blocking the cat’s path. He flings his hand onto the button that opens the door then rushes out into the hall the stops dead in his tracks.

Scene: the hallway is dark, the lights are non functional. When the cat sees this she moves quickly past both Rose and the Doctor through the darkness to the exact room she really did not want to lead her worst enemy to. She tests the dead door panel with her hands before prying the panel off of the wall. Quickly she fiddles with the wiring - with a flash the door swings open before the lights go dead again. Before the Doctor or Rose can get to her she is in the lab again. She is lost in the dark for only a moment before the lights in the lab flash blue then bright white.

Blueton: “Thank the song of the Lallapalange they are not dead-“

Actions: the cat leans against the tanks glass and stares deep into the deep yellow water. She completely ignores the entrance of the Doctor who carefully looks around himself- though he sticks an arm out to block Rose from entering the room with him.

Doctor: “So… this…”

Actions: he takes a good long look around himself at all of the different tanks along the walls. He side steps to one of the walls and peers into the murky fluid beyond.

Doctor: “Oh… Oh~”

Actions: He smiles looking over to the cat then immediately frowns. He blinks back to the tanks as he relaxes a hand to the warm glass.

Cat: “I have witnessed thousands upon thousands of my own kind perish… I do not know if I could handle losing these ones too.”

Actions: she keeps her gaze on the tanks as she moves towards one of the computers reading the life signs of the creatures within. She kneels down to read the lower display screens.

Doctor: “Yet the deaths of billions of other species doesn’t bother you one bit?”

Actions: he scoffs though quiets himself when he sees the cat visibly flinch. He stays where he is to watch her.

Cat: “It is easy if you do not see them as people.”

Actions: they seem to relax in that sentiment, standing and staring into the water. A very soft smile is pulled onto her lips as she watches the tiny squid looking things only about an inch across move around in the liquid.

Rose: “Yet they are still people.”

Actions: she speaks up from the doorway. She doesn’t make a move to enter the room.

Cat: “yet I am still using one as a flesh puppet.”

Actions: she turns towards the Doctor and points towards the door. Her look of love towards what was growing in that tank turns immediately to one of sheer rage.

Blueton: “GET OUT! Get OUT of my lab and AWAY from my Arkellis!”

Actions: the metallic snarl calls out as she steps closer to the Doctor. The cat snarls in the Doctor’s direction causing him to flinch backwards.

Doctor: actions: He doesn’t move away from the cat, instead glancing over the tanks and the computers behind her. He stands up from the tanks he was looking into and steps closer to her instead.

Doctor: “Who are you… Really.”

Actions: He stares into the cat’s face. His arms are outstretched as if offering himself up to her.

Blueton: “Dalek Strategist BT122.”

Doctor: “The BLUE one! Oh- of COURSE it HAD to be the BLUE one!”

Actions: he yells and takes a step closer to her. This only seems to anger her further.

Doctor: “listen- Blue- or.. Blu. Or…Blueberry or-“

Actions: he takes another step closer to her.

Blueton: “You do not know me, Storm.”

Doctor: “No, I really do- story’s about a meddling Dalek causing strategies to fail despite their calculations showing they should have succeeded… Sure you’re no Rusty but -“

Actions- he glances towards Rose who is watching the both of the with a look of concern.

Blueton: “There is no proof tying any of those failures to me.”

Doctor: “Are you sure? Last I heard you were locked up in some god forsaken asylum somewhere. It seems not even your own empire believes you DIDN'T play a role in those ‘failures’.”

Actions: he cackled as he took another step closer, closing the distance between him and the cat. He grappled her, his arms wrapped around her much unlike a hug.

Cat/Blueton: “GET OFF!”

Actions: they push him and try to walk away from the tanks.

Doctor: “Come on, Blue- tell me why you are here-“

Actions: he reaches a hand into the suit again trying to get a hold on any part of the Dalek mutant. By doing so the cat makes a gagging coughing noise- blood spewing out of her throat and mouth as the Dalek releases her entirely.

Blueton: “THIRD WARNING REVOKED!”

Actions: he snarled and bolted off of the woman’s back. She collapses into the Doctors hands very clearly dead.

Doctor: “No- nooo Blue no-“

Actions: he winced letting the woman sink down to the floor carefully as he looked around trying to find where Blueton had leapt to.

Rose: “Oh my god-“

Scene: we follow the camera as it shakily looks around to locate where the Dalek mutant had leapt to. We then see the Doctor standing over the cat’s body as he points to Blueton who is squirming in the corner of the room, longer tendrils dangling just over the computer’s controls.

Doctor: “You didn’t have to do that- … You didn’t have to kill her…”

Anis: “I don’t believe she was even alive to begin with, Doctor.”

Scene: in the dark hall we see torchlights, Doctor Anis is standing beside Rose with her light pointed down at the dead cat’s form. Behind her Bastion and Lesly both peak their head into the room. The Doctor looks down at the group behind him which is enough of a give to make Blueton lunge down at him.

Camera cuts to black then to credits.

[gftimelord]

*The doctor couldn’t quite recall the exact moment when the world began to spiral, when the heady sweetness of the banana daiquiri wrapped itself around his senses and pulled him under. He should’ve known better— just a drink and a half shouldn’t have had this effect on him. His mind, always calculating and sharp, sent faint alarms, chiding him for his recklessness, for drinking on an empty stomach. But in the haze of alcohol and euphoria, those warnings felt distant, irrelevant. Too late. His internal compass was spinning wildly, no longer pointing him towards the objective, but Ford didn’t care. He let the chaos take him.*

*He buried his face into Preston’s shoulder, finding an anchor in the warmth of the other man's body. The club, with its pounding bass and strobing lights, faded to a distant staticky hum— just background noise in a world that had suddenly become quieter, softer. The neon colors, once overwhelming, bled into one another, swirling into an indistinguishable blur. And yet, amidst that haze, there something tangible. Ford breathed in deeply, letting the familiar aroma of coffee and pine fill his senses, grounding him in the chaos. It wasn’t the artificiality of the club that held him now, but something far more comforting. The smell of home.*

*Coffee, strong and bitter, the kind he drank black, always preferring it sharp on his tongue. The forest, tall evergreens, stretching endlessly around him in a familiar embrace. He could almost feel the cool morning dew clinging to his skin, the creak of wooden panels beneath his boots as he stood in the quiet of his cabin, the world outside still and serene. The image wrapped around him like a well-worn blanket, and Ford let himself sink into it. How was it that Preston— a man who’d only ever been a distant reflection of himself that he met just a few hours ago— was able to evoke such a feeling of peace, of certainty, of home?*

*It was astonishing. Dare he say impossible. But in his drunken haze, Stanford didn’t care to question it. He leaned in further, his body naturally curving into Preston’s warmth, drawn to the safety it promised. His fingers, clumsy and uncoordinated from the alcohol, grasped at the stiff fabric of the other’s jacket, holding onto it as if it were the only thing tethering him to reality. Every instinct he had screamed at him to stay here, in this fragile moment, because for the first time in what felt like an eternity, he wasn’t alone. The incessant noise in his head, the constant buzzing of responsibility, of guilt, of fear, had finally gone quiet. Replaced instead by a gentle hum of contentment, like the soft crackle of a fire in the hearth.*

*He felt himself sinking deeper into the sensation, the world around them reduced to a muted blur of flashing lights and distant sounds. Nothing but white noise now. The club, the people, even the music— it all felt so far away. And Preston, the man beside him, felt closer than ever. The doctor couldn’t remember the last time he’d let someone in like this, the last time he’d allowed himself to feel safe in another’s presence. But here he was, nestled against his companion, drunk and unguarded, letting the moment stretch out like a dream he didn’t want to wake from.*

*The doctor mumbled something incoherent, his voice lost in the hum of the club. His body swayed slightly, barely able to maintain balance, but it didn’t matter. He was too far gone now, too lost in the warmth of another to care about how foolish he probably looked. He giggled— an uncharacteristic sound for him, light and childlike— as he nuzzled into Preston’s shoulder, letting the steady rise and fall of the other man’s breathing lull him into a deeper sense of calm.*

*His vision blurred further, the edges of the world spinning like the inside of a kaleidoscope, but even in his drunken state, he knew one thing for certain. For the first time in what felt like ages, he felt safe. In the chaos of the night, in the arms of someone who, for reasons Ford couldn’t quite articulate, made him feel at home. It was a feeling as natural as the stars blinking in the sky above, as essential as the air in his lungs.*

*And for tonight, that was enough.*

"Another Stanford... so similar yet so different from the rest I've met" Preston looked at the sonic screwdriver with quite the interest

@gleeful-northwest-fam

"Woahoah! Okay! Well this isn't a toy for you, it's for me— big difference."

*Ford would quickly stuff the device in his coat pocket, backing up and away from the other person feeling skeptic. He was used to being the one who would instigate the chaos, somehow this also made him realize that he'd unconsciously switched places with his brother at this age.*

"Now, what brings you here? Any reason you'd seek me out of all people?"

[coulson-is-an-avenger]

[Image ID: A screenshot of the audio only video for Halo by Starset on Youtube. The video shows a staticky black-and-white image of the word ‘halo’, and a symbol resembling a halo, or the crescent of a planet as the sun rises over it. End ID.]

was looking at the transmissions vids on youtube for post-concert nostalgia reasons and my goddd i forgot about the old black and white staticky song logos 🥺 the beloved memories of listening to these in class in the gay year of 2015 is cracking me like an egg

[willidleaway]

OK, let’s talk about Deltarune Chapter 2. Right off the bat two things:

Toby Fox could have been charging 20 USD for this or asked people to pre-purchase the remaining chapters to play Chapter 2, and I’m frankly very surprised (if delighted) that he didn’t.

Soundtrack’s bopping. If you don’t feel like playing two free chapters of a game, which by themselves will give you nine hours of a brilliant time in an absolutely insane world filled with mad characters that all still manages to hold together somehow, I can still recommend giving the OST a listen and then a buy if you are so inclined.

And with that and the spoiler-free lead image out of the way, let’s actually (largely incoherently) talk about Deltarune Chapter 2 below the Read More line. Spoilers galore, including for a bonus enemy ...

OK, so this guy is still a card:

But some non-positive observations to begin with: the Castle Town is nice to look at but maybe a bit uninteresting for the moment, since it’s a completely separate Dark World from the main underworld of Chapter 2. It seems perhaps like a decent hub world for people who haven’t replayed the previous chapter and need some refreshers, especially with the dojo challenges. But some of the other mechanics associated with the Castle Town like recruiting, fusing items, and so forth are as yet unclear. But perhaps it hints at more interaction between chapters through the Castle Town.

And that’s all the non-positive observations I have about Deltarune Chapter 2. It’s not even a negative observation, just taking note of potential seeds being planted for the remainder of the game.

Now. Now now now now now.

I don’t know how Toby Fox manages to continue coming up with such a diverse array of antagonists all so ridiculous and insane in their own special way, but he continues to outdo himself. And not only is Queen insane but so is literally everything that happens in Cyber City and then in Queen’s Mansion, like the layers of truces across Queen and her quasi-willing peons:

and indeed, ye Triumphant Returne of Rouxls Kaard, absolute card:

But the madcap side of things doesn’t mean there isn’t real attention to fleshing out everything introduced in Chapter 1, in tandem on both the narrative side and the gameplay side. As far as the latter, we can (finally) get party members other than Kris to undertake at least basic standard non-magical actions on their own that don’t cost Tension Points, which is very much welcome. But at the same time managing TP well is even more important than before. A lot of careful grazing makes certain fights a great deal easier, in a way that I didn’t really notice for most of Chapter 1 (with the possible exception of Jevil, who I still haven’t successfully pacified). The attacks are correspondingly far denser and often don’t leave too much margin for error, but as someone with minimal hand-eye coordination I still had a reasonable time completing Chapter 2.

Well, except for one particular enemy.

oh god this fight used up every single recovery item I had

Spamton NEO is an interesting enemy, arguably more so than Jevil, and I’m not just saying that because I managed to spare Spamton but still haven’t had any success with Jevil. For one, finding the pieces of the key for Jevil’s cell is straightforward, whereas finding the Empty Disk for Spamton is itself a nightmarish dodge-fest. But more importantly, you actively have to seek Jevil out in Chapter 1, whereas your first encounter with Spamton is actually mandatory as part of the main story and then you optionally follow up on Spamton’s lead later to be able to face off against his NEO form.

Perhaps relevant to the forced nature of Spamton’s introduction is his relevance to Deltarune as a whole despite his bonus boss status. Compared to Jevil’s dialogue, Spamton’s babblings seem far more directly tied to the central themes of Deltarune around choice or agency, or rather a lack thereof (in stark contrast to Undertale’s general ethos). Jevil mostly just wants to wreak mischief and chaos; Spamton is fuelled by a need for freedom, to no longer be a puppet of ... something. And facing him in this way obviously clearly affects Kris, whose own free will is in real question ...

Oh yes, it seems now we’re really getting into the real core of Deltarune’s story, with all of the lore about the Roaring and more talk of the Knight leading up to this ending. But are Kris and the Knight one and the same? Or is Kris a puppet of the Knight? Or ... is it even the other way around? (No idea if that makes any sense but it sounds like a cool thing to throw out there.)

And another thing: this staticky smile ...

I would guess that’s Chapter 3′s boss once we actually go through this new Dark World, but why does this static remind me of the static you see behind Spamton’s glasses in some of his creepier shop dialogue? Maybe I’m reading too much into it, but there’s certainly an embarrassment of riches to over-analyse, even around Chapter 2′s bonus boss.

And I haven’t even talked about every other character being amazing. Susie of course continues to undergo really positive development, but Noelle seems to get the bulk of the attention honestly—we not only get her to finally interact with Susie, but we also learn more about her past as well her family, both about her lost sister (strongly implied to be named December) and her mother. The latter we get not only through more dialogue with her father Rudy but also in an implicit sense through her interactions with Queen, which may well mirror her fractious relationship with an overbearing mother.

Ralsei’s characterisation doesn’t try to expand as much, instead continuing to detail what’s already been planted throughout Chapter 1—his rule of the Castle Town, his awareness of the danger posed by the potential dark/light imbalance, and so forth—but nothing quite as revelatory as with Noelle. It doesn’t mean I can’t try my best to ship Kris with Ralsei though ...

Anyway, fluffy boys and mean girls aside, it’s also nice to see characters like Berdly—who seemed like a completely incidental one-note gag character in Chapter 1—get fleshed out with reasonably compelling (although obviously insane) motivation and backstory, and one wonders which other characters may get this sort of treatment in future.

Speaking of other characters as well, how cute and/or cool are all of the new enemies and enemy-adjacent characters???

Part of me suspects Tasque Manager in particular is actually carefully engineered to break the Internet. But my favourite is Swatch, who gives off weirdly Tuxedo Mask-esque vibes to me:

And an additional bit of speculation: I strongly suspect we’ll see some persistent things across the chapters that aren’t necessarily linear in progression. When I brought Spamton’s shadow crystal to Seam, they basically chided me for not having Jevil’s crystal (for god’s sake Seam it’s not for lack of trying), but then said this:

Is it possible that the game’s keeping track of certain global things outside of any of your individual saves, and some of these certain global things might not just have to do with optional bonuses ... ? Is it possible that some of these certain global things may enable cross-chapter nonlinear gameplay to accompany all of the other Castle Town mechanics introduced in Chapter 2?

Or do I just not want to replay all of Chapter 2 if I manage to pacify Jevil?

Time will tell. How much time?

Only time will tell on that front too, I guess.

Overall: Chapter 2 of Deltarune is another spectacular episode in Toby Fox fleshing out this unbelievable yet somehow credible world in his madcap way, and you can bet I will be watching for future chapters with great interest.

PS: I finished Chapter 2 of Deltarune to have a good time and I’m honestly feeling so attacked right now—

look expiration dates are important okay

[missroserose]

if you want it, got to bleed for it, baby

part 1 | part 2 |  part 3

or read on AO3

groove to the playlist

ngl, tax season is eating my face.  but I couldn't go much longer without writing a little more smutty angst for these two.  hope y'all enjoy.

Have I mentioned how amazing @anarchist-billy is? Thanks for betaing, love. <3

*

“Stay with me.”  Billy’s voice is low, urgent, a lifeline.  “Keep the pressure on.”

Steve is there, in the passenger seat of the car, holding a wad of paper towels to the gash in his belly—and Steve is the car, too—he feels the warm gold-red glow of the bonfire, demodog corpses and dead vines disappearing into invisible smoke, fading all too quickly from the rear view mirror.  The bass note of the BMW’s V8 thrums deep in his chest, hurtling towards Hawkins at near-lethal speed.  The cool night air roars in his ears as Billy redlines it—he can feel Billy, too, the atavistic satisfaction of driving this amazing machine, of pressing it to its limits—

The fire disappears, and the outside world is nothing but a dark blur.  No streetlights, no trees, nothing to indicate it even exists. Even their movement fades into a queer sense of unmotion, a bubble of existence floating in the endless void.  The glow of the dashboard lights on Billy’s expression, drawn and set.  The rumble of the car, rearing to meet the challenge.  The just-warm air blasting from the heater.  Van Halen on the radio, staticky signal fading in and out over the road and wind noise.  I been to the edge, and there I stood and looked down—

“We’re nearly there.  Harrington.  Hold on a little longer.”

Billy’s lying through his teeth.  Steve knows he’s lying; he’s driven this road any number of times since he got his license.  Floored the gas, the same way Billy’s doing now, felt his car eat up the thirty-eight miles of two-lane blacktop, straightaway snaking between forest and farmland.  Rolled down the windows and whooped, Tommy in the passenger seat, Carol and whatever girl Steve was seeing that week in the back, all of them chasing the horizon at breakneck speeds.  Not for jubilation, or anger, or any reason in particular; just...because they were bored.  Because they could—because they were young and free and would live forever, would be friends forever—

“What’s the rush?”  Steve has to almost issue a conscious order to make himself smile, like he’s giving his face instructions over a long-distance phone call.  “I’m the King.  They’ll wait for me.”

Billy doesn’t look at him—can’t, at the speeds he’s driving—but his shoulders seem to loosen a fraction.  “Guess that depends,” he says, threadbare bravado thin at the edges.  “You don’t make it, there’s only one king left.  Makes my life awful easy.”

Beer spilled down a bare chest.  Red punch on a white blouse.  Bullshit.  Tea roses and spunk and sweat and blue eyes on his in the bathroom mirror.  “Maybe it does,” Steve says, trying not to let his words run together the way his thoughts are doing.  “But that’s not what you want.”

There’s a gap opening up, a space between the two of them; it takes Steve a moment to notice the knuckles, tense on the steering wheel.  Billy opens his mouth, says something; a moment later, the words unfurl in Steve’s consciousness, time-delayed.  “Like anyone gives a shit about what I want.”

Steve laughs a little, at that.  “That’s the first lesson of being king, Hargrove.”  He swallows, with some difficulty; his throat feels thick.  “You’re not there for you.  Every fool who wants a favor, every damsel in distress, every asshole determined to get a piece of King Billy…” He trails off, seeing a crown amidst those golden curls in a bathroom mirror, set over heated blue eyes, lips parting in a look of mingled awe and desire—

“Hey.  Hey!  Harrington!”  Billy’s slapping at his face, one hand flapping ineffectually against his skin, just hard enough to force his consciousness to surface.  Steve doesn’t particularly want to surface; there’s something looming there, not terror, but a shadow of it, a formless dread.  Like the first time his parents had gone out of town, and he hadn’t been smart enough to put the breakables away before he threw the obligatory kegger.  He’d spent three days waiting for his mother to return and discover one of her Hummel figurines missing, only to have her so preoccupied with his father’s latest fling that she’d left before noticing—

“Don’t you dare.”  Billy’s voice is a growl, but there’s something beneath it that catches Steve’s unmoored attention.  “Steve.  Don’t you fucking dare die on me now.  You ruined my night, you pulled me out here to chase down God knows what those rabid alien dog-things were, you’re going to pull through this and you’re going to give me a fucking explanation—”

Steve gives a small laugh, even though it hurts like a bitch.  “I’m really fucked, aren’t I?”

Billy bites off his rant like a piece of taffy.  “What?”

Steve issues the order to smile again, feels his face sort-of obey.  “You called me Steve.  It must be bad.”

“Not that bad,” Billy says, almost believable, as if he can change the state of the world through sheer stubborn insistence.  “You’re gonna pull through this.  You’ve got to.  When the school hears about how I saved your ass?  It’s gonna be a riot, Harrington.”

Steve could almost laugh again, but it hurts too much.  With an effort, he diverts his reaction, reaches for bitterness instead, bile like he’s swallowing down in the back of his throat.  The school.  Graduation.  The future.  A dark unknown, filled with people whose eyes slide away from his, in respect or in contempt—“You’ve already had my ass.  What do you care about the rest?”  The gap between them is opening up again.  Steve has a mental image for a moment of trying to leap that gap, of hanging in the air over it for a beautiful moment—wonders if people would see him then, shining golden before the inevitable plummet to the nothingness below—

But Billy’s voice is stubborn, penetrating.  “Did you hit your head when that alien tackled you?  Of course I want the rest.  The way you swung that bat? Waded into that fight without a damn hitch?”  Billy’s voice cracks a little, in disbelief, or in awe.  “That’s King Steve.  Not that namby-pamby asshole who haunts the hallways at school.”

And something in that voice pulls Steve towards the looming terror, away from the peaceful dark.  He presses the paper towels harder to his gut, ignores the sharp pain this elicits.  “Didn’t think you were looking for a king, Hargrove.”

A pause, brief and endless.  Steve slips a little, tossed about in stormy waves, uncertain which way to the shore, uncertain which way is up—

Then Billy’s voice comes in, low and smoky, a beam from a lighthouse parting the dark.  “I jerk off at night thinking about your lips on me.”  Steve’s suddenly aware of his lips as they part slightly, but Billy’s continuing, words gushing from him like water from a burst pipe.  “I haven’t bent you over your kitchen counter yet.  Haven’t felt your cock twitch between my lips as you come down my throat—”

The words are gathering somewhere deep in Steve’s hips, insistent warmth, flickering but stubborn in the face of the terror.  The words fall into his mind, and he drops them without thought, uncaring, because who even cares at this point?  “I want to fuck you in my bed.”

A breath sucked between teeth.  A glance, briefly risked, at Steve’s face, as if gauging his seriousness.  “You want it in a bed, pretty boy?”

“I want you.  In my bed.”  The paper towels are growing wet between his fingers.  “Empty house.  Nobody to hear us slam the headboard against the wall.”  He presses a little harder; the lance of pain stabs through him, but the image in his mind is bright as he gives a half-wrecked gasp.

Billy seems to shudder at that gasp.  “Hell yes,” he says, seeming to almost relax for a moment.  “Gonna hear you good and proper as you come—”

“Gonna feel you under me when I do,” Steve says, words tumbling forward heedless, headlong.  “Billy.  You’re gonna feel me inside you as you shake apart.  Gonna walk around the next day still feeling it, and I’m gonna watch you—”

“Fuck—” Billy’s grip is white against the steering wheel now, fingers torqued tight.  “Steve,” he says, his voice rough.  “Promise me something.”

“Sure.”  The words are fading, growing further away, but Steve struggles, holds his head up.  Tries to read Billy’s expression, the hesitation in his voice.  “If I can.”

“Next time we see each other, it’s just you.”  Billy licks his lips.  “Just you and me.  No kids, no party, no—nothing.  We’ll tear the phone out of the wall if we have to.  Just...just us.”

Steve reaches for a careless smile.  Ignores the sudden empty fluttering in his chest.  Isn’t certain if he manages either.  “Gotta settle up who’s king for good and all, huh?”

“Yeah.”  Billy settles back into the seat, though tension still thrums through his body with the engine.  Overhead, the first of the streetlights flashes by, briefly illuminating his face, determined, desperate.  “Yeah, something like that.”

[nyxknocks]

I'll try to explain this.

The reason why Eddie kills her mother and the random man is because until that time, she has been abused or neglected by both parents--with her dad abandoning the family and her mother bringing in random johns. I don't know how much of this type of content you look into, but in situations like this its very common that when mother's neglect their children like this, especially young boys, it fosters a hatred in them. You can also go the extra step and look at the fact that statistically when in situations like this, the men the mother brings home also abuses Eddie. We don't see a linear timeline and that's intentional, because when it comes to all forms of abuse, our memory is staticky and has holes in it. The abused child murdering the cheating mom is a very, very, very common trauma response though it's typically related to future serial killers.

The memory is a huge factor. The whole film Eddie is fighting with her memory. She's rememberin bits and pieces of her abuse and trauma but not the whole image. Time changes people, especially when you have trauma-induced memory loss. There's no way Eddie knew for sure that the man she was sleeping with was her dad because she likely wouldn't have done it in the first place. But again, she is deeply, deeply traumatized and had a psychic break at some point to completely disassociate from her past abuse and the murder of her mother.

Also, just because you know I like to tussle, if we avoid future "allusions to anal sex" then we should also avoid future sex scenes in general. :)

Everything about avant-garde is supposed to challenge you. So, I'm glad you were challenged!

Funeral Parade of Roses

I'm going to be honest. This film was really uncomfortable. I considered stopping quite a few times throughout the film, but realized I probably needed to finish to be able to write a post worth anything. So, Mr. Smith, if you're reading this, this is my official request that we avoid movies like this that feature the allusion to homoerotic anal sex, weird 70s like scenes that flicker between weird poses and scarred individuals, etc. OR if we have to for some reason, making the purpose of the film known first before we dive into it.

The way this movie was written and directed feels like it was written by someone on a bad drug trip. The timeline is scattered and many of the scenes surround same-sex intercourse, doing drugs, and weird dancing. I think a better way I might describe this movie is as an uncomfortable descent into madness in which the points at which the characters sanity broke felt the most comfortable. The murder of his mother and the repeated stabbing I could understand and normalize, but everything else was just uncomfortable.

The main character named Eddie is this kind of demented character. I've read a couple of other posts that talk about how this film helps put us in the eyes of Eddie and lets us see how their trauma is affecting them (where the traumatic event seems to be Eddie murdering their parent); however, the film doesn't really explain why Eddie murders their parent? We can assume a whole bunch of different reasons as to why, but given that a reason was deliberately left out I can only assume that its not Eddie's trauma that we are experiencing, but their detachment from sanity.

There are a couple things I have that might backup my theory. In the movie we see Eddie going out of their way to kill their parents. It wasn't necessary, and in fact Eddie has to deliberately go out of their way to kill his mother. He pulls out a knife, travels all the way across the house, and then breaks in to their room to kill her. Whether Eddie had their Oedipus complex or not yet, isn't clear, but its the only possible reason for the murder given to us by the film. Additionally, the film has a lot of moments that cut really quickly between disturbing images. During these times the movie seems to be instilling this sense of psychosis within its audience, which is enhanced with its discontinuity. Finally, the movie ends with Eddie stabbing both of their eyes out after their father (whom with they had been sleeping with) stabs himself. In the original Oedipus story, he blinds himself because he couldn't bear the truth that he had suddenly learned (that he killed his father and had been sleeping with his mother), but Eddie doesn't have that same kind of logic behind his actions. It feels like a piece of Eddie's character is warped, and has been from the beginning.

[that-good-trash]

Burn Away With Me 2

Shoto Todoroki x reader / Dabi x reader????

Warnings: mentions of death, profanity, kidnap, Angst,

Word count: 6,315

Part 1

Summary: Kidnap and murder usually go hand in hand but not like this. The world thinks your dead and you have to watch them mourn you like a princess locked away in a tower. Except princes don’t look for dead girls. You might just have to rely on the villain who took you.  

Comment: Sorry I haven’t been posting but I’m back. This took longer than I thought and there will be a third part. I’ve decided to make this a series while I work on other fic ideas. Which if any of you have any suggestions or ideas I totally need inspiration for more one shots and series’s. I hope you all enjoy. 

---------------------------------------------------------------

You were dead.

At least that’s what everyone thought, was told, had ‘witnessed’. In a way you were dead because having to watch the world exist without you, killed you. Watching Shoto in interviews and reading article about him made you wish you had actually died since he was lifeless. You had agreed to this so you were an accessary to his misery. The one thing you always promised was to never abandon him, to always love him. You had failed to keep that promise. You were now causing him pain and couldn’t even apologize for it.

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After your Hollywood murder, your vanishing act, you had woken up in an unfamiliar place that smelled damp and musty, like mildew under week old wet carpet. It was toxic to your nose which had become a little sensitive from living a modern clean life. You were wearing a jacket that wasn’t yours that smelled faintly of burning charcoal and cigarettes. While lifting the overly long sleeves you had become aware that you lacked any chest covering. You were naked besides the jacket and silk panties you wore under it. It wasn’t like you had time to pack, hell you actually hadn’t expected to ever wake up again. Trusting a villain was dicey, it could backfire terribly and you couldn’t figure out yet if it had. You were alive. That wasn’t for sure a good thing. The room you were in had a bed, which you were laying in, the sheets were stained and slightly charred in places. There was a single window and two doors, one leading into a closet, the other you didn’t know where. An old suitcase sat in the corner and you didn’t really want to know what was in it. Outside the door you could hear the sound of talking, it was staticky meaning it was coming from a TV or radio. You had gotten off the bed hugging the long black coat against your body as you made your way to the door. Fear flooded your veins. You had no idea what Dabi’s plan had been. While you slept the news of your death spread across all media. You weren’t even aware of this. You were thinking that this was a kidnap ransom thing. As the knob turned you could hear the voices a little more clearly. It was a TV, the light shining down the short hallway. You walked toward it before feeling your heart stop. Across the bottom of the screen was your name, your real name and hero name. It was the words that followed that made your legs give out. Now on your knees with shaking shoulders you read the headline, hear the news caster.

[ L/n F/n – Hero Name, was found murdered in her shared home.]

“Her fiancé Todoroki Shoto cannot be reached at this time but we mourn his lose.” You read the words and listen to the tail end of his sentence piecing together what had happened. The image changed from the inside of the news room to a helicopter view, footage taken hours ago. Your shared home had been surrounded by police vehicle’s and you watch Shoto rush out of his car and directly into the house. A sob escapes as you watch the police and pro heroes look down and away. You couldn’t hear anything other than the helicopter but you could imagine he was screaming your name. What was left behind? That’s when you became all too aware of a throbbing pain in your left hand. Looking down at your hand you scream, your ring finger is missing. How the hell hadn’t you realized this to begin with. There were so many pieces missing to this fucked up puzzle. How the hell did you get here? Where the hell was here? Where was Dabi and better yet your god damn finger? These questions invaded your mind as you watched the screen continue to show pictures of you with claims of death. You weren’t dead and if you were this was one hell of an afterlife. Purgatory was a shitty back alley apartment.

“When we, the public, were informed of L/n’s death everyone wanted to hear what the Todoroki family had to say, specifically Endeavor. His interview shows his conflicted emotions and many are quick to blame grief for his lack of emotion.”

You watch the interview and listen to your future father in laws words. He didn’t care. You had stopped crying as you watched him speak on your behalf. How dare he claim to know what you wanted. If you weren’t aware of the real mastermind, you’d think he tried to have you killed. How could someone be so heartless. You had spent so much time trying to prove you were worthy of Shoto even though your lover told you that you were more than enough. The social pressure Endeavor put on you was suffocating and you were really starting to realize that just by watching some shitty interview he did for publicity. Your hands were clenched into fist despite the pain in your left hand. You stood up a little too fast and fell backward. You never hit the floor, instead a hot hand caught you. You sighed in relief before staring into your kidnapper’s eyes. You weren’t weak or none confrontational. Your eyes burned with fury, your lips twitching with words brewing behind them.

“You son of a bitch, You bastard.”

“Woah, no reason to bring my mom into this, though I will say you’d be right about my father.” He was so smug as he held up his hands in defense against your hissed insults. He had expected tears and fear not an enraged hurricane. “Now calm down, what’s got you so pissed?”

“YOU FUCKING KILLED ME!” Your eyes were bulging out and your breathing was unsteady. Your eyebrows knit together as you glared him down with hell fire behind your eyes. You looked like a savage. Like a crazed lunatic. Instead of looking scared or remorseful he just backup against the tattered couch. His arms crossed and he lifted a brow. His smirk told you that he found this entertaining.

“Um, you seem pretty alive to me doll. You can’t believe everything you hear on TV.” He laughed at his own joke, or maybe the pathetic chaotic state you were in. As you heaved your chest in exasperation. You realized that you’d made a huge mistake. You killed yourself off on your own accord, you should have fought back then maybe you’d be in Shoto’s arms and not on every news station. If you had been kidnapped people would be looking for you but they aren’t. No one is looking for you. In an instant all anger subsided. You were tired, in pain, scared, pissed, lonely, dispirited, you were dead. Your shoulders slumped with no fight lingering. You let the wall catch you before sliding down it. Your head fell heavy into your hands before settling between your bend legs. You weren’t looking at him, but Dabi did seem a tad guilty. He pushed off the couch walking toward you. He dropped down, squatting in front of you. His fingers brush your hair out of your face, you slap his hand away looking at him with feral eyes that had tears bottled in them. A sigh escaped as he stood up, he could hear the TV mention your name. He watched people on the screen hold candles standing along a dark street. This was live. He yanked you off the ground and pulled you out of the apartment making sure he covered you with a scarf he snatched from the rickety coat rack. You didn’t know where he was taking you but when you ended up on the roof of this building you panicked. Was he going to actually kill you? Maybe that would be better for you. Instead you feel your face yanked toward a specific location. This building was old and crumbling but it was tall. It seemed to be taller than plenty of the buildings near it. As you looked off squinting you saw lights in the distance.

“What are you trying to show me?”

“Shh.” You were pissed. What the hell was his problem. Frustrated you cross your arms feeling the cold breeze and get a little less mad and grow shy after remembering again your lack of coverage. You go to ask if you can return to the apartment but he points and you follow. The city lights disappear and in a Disney moment the sky seems to light up. You watch from the ground miles away lights move like waves and from the tops of buildings lanterns fade into the sky. You watched in awe.

“They are mourning the loss of a true hero, you.”

He’s not looking at you but instead watching the lights. His hands are stuffed into his pockets and he doesn’t look at you as you collapse to the cold dirty roof ground. You scream into the illuminated darkness. It’s painful, like a wolf crying out for its mate after receiving a fatal wound. A howl of sorrow and agony. Was Shoto watching these lights mourning you as well? Your knees pressed into the harsh concrete beneath you cutting into them. Dabi stood next to your broken shaking form, his hands sat inside his pant pockets. He was watching the sky letting you fall apart. He had been in a similar situation before, having to mourn his own death.

It felt like hours had passed by the time you ran out of tears. Your knees hurt from the embedded concrete, your hands were shaking and your fingertips had the slightest tint of purple. You were cold, practically naked, empty, and alone. No one knew you were alive besides the person who killed you. The sky was no longer lit up and you wondered if this was goodbye. If this was how your life as a hero ended. You didn’t get a huge battle like All Might at Kamino, or Sir Nighteye’s battle with Overhaul. You didn’t get to retire or die in a heroic way, instead people would remember you as the hero who died in her home, murdered by some mystery villain. You knew in a week you’d be old news and everyone would be talking about this in the future like it was a part of Shoto’s tragic backstory. You stood up before almost falling directly back down. You catch yourself by grabbing onto Dabi. He winks at you which you react to with disgust. He nods toward the door and you walk toward it leading the way. You think for a moment that running off the side of the building would be a good escape plan. He knows what you’re thinking as he links your arm with his own and pulls you along back into the building and eventually into the hellscape of an apartment. You yank yourself free before walking to the couch and falling back onto it with a huff. You were pouting because he had caught onto your plan, because you had to be here in this disgusting shithole.

“This place is gross.” Dabi raises a brow before laughing, his laughter echoes throughout the small room.

“Sorry this isn’t a five-star hotel princess.”

“It doesn’t have to be a luxury hotel; it just has to be livable. The TV looks like it’s from the 80’s and the carpet feels damp. This couch smells like you set it on fire and it’s still burning. The bed room has various stains in various places. I haven’t even seen the bathroom but I imagine it’s even worse, oh god I can’t live here.” You weren’t prissy or someone with high standards, this place was just literal hell and since you were dead it was even worse. You could imagine that Dabi wasn’t going to let you leave whenever you wanted so having to be stuck in this place was going to drive you insane.

“I think you sound be more concerned with clothing than housing. You have a roof and a bed; you have no clothes.” Dabi made a very good point that you forgot in your depression over the living situation. You throw your head back letting out another frustrated sob.

“Fuck, you should have just killed me.” You thought you ran out of tears and yet some slid down your cheek. You were frustrated and wanted nothing more than to curl up against your fiancé while he comforts you but you couldn’t do that.

“This isn’t forever. My plan just needs to go accordingly and you should be free to go. Think of this as summer camp or a stake out mission.” You looked at Dabi skeptically. He stared back lacking any intension to deceive you.

“Tomorrow night I’ll bring you by some clothes. If you really hate this place so much, I’ll let you clean and decorate it. Give me a list of shit you need tomorrow and I’ll see what I can do. Your stuck with me and when I’m not here you are going to be under house arrest. You don’t get to leave and if I find out you tried; I’ll show you exactly why you shouldn’t disobey me.” His eyes darkened at the end. He wasn’t the smug Dabi but one who truly would turn you into ash. Minutes ago, you would have chosen to be burn alive rather than have this as your life but that was quick to change with the hope that you would actually be released. Dabi wasn’t all that bad, scary kind of but not bad. Clothes were a blessing you couldn’t wait for. The ability to make this place livable also enticed you. He really knew how to get you to stop whining. A smile spread across your face and Dabi raised a brow. He expected a thank you, he shouldn’t have.

“You’re still a fucking asshole who kidnapped and ‘murdered’ me so don’t go thinking I like you or want to rely on you. The idea of being burned alive is almost tempting when compared to living here with you as my only company.” All this was still served with your smile. You stood up and let the coat tail spin behind you as you walked off to the bedroom. “I’m a size [Y/size], don’t forget that.”

The door shut leaving Dabi alone in the living room. His head falls backward and a chuckle escapes passed his lips. “Damn, what a weird girl. Can see why you like her little bro.”

His hands dip back into his pockets as he leaves the apartment. Once on the street below the dirty building he looks up toward your window. It’s hidden away in the alley. You are looking out it hoping for a view but there isn’t one. He knows how miserable you are but also knows you’re a fighter who will survive. He lights up a cigarette as he disappears into the night. You are left sitting on a dusty windowsill thinking about your would-be husband, your almost widow. You wonder what he was doing, how he was doing. Were his friends with him? A single tear slips down your cheek and onto the window sill mixing into the dusk leaving a dirty mark. A melancholy laugh puffs passed your lips. You close yours eyes remembering the first time the two of you met. Remembering how falling in love happened slowly then all at once.

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Shoto Todoroki was an emotionless teenager when you met him. You were older than him by a year and met him by complete accident. You both attended UA and he got lost ending up near one of your classes. He ran into you as you rushed to deliver paperwork to the office. More like you ran into him. Instead of swooning over the mismatched eyes and hair like most girls did you pushed passed him. “Sorry gotta go, next time watch where you’re going.”

You had found him outside your classroom afterschool waiting for you. You were confused as he looked at you with about as much emotion as a wall. Hell, you’d seen walls with more emotion. He was like a red and white brick. Your fellow classmates walked around you, some whispering questions amongst each other. You were as confused as they were.

“Um why are you here?”

“You ran into me.” You raised a brow at his blunt accusation. You thought back to earlier and indeed you ran into him. You should have apologized seriously earlier but now you were curious. He waited out here just to tell you that.

“Earlier I was walking down this hallway and you ran into me, then you proceeded to tell me to watch where I was going when you were the one who should have watched herself.” A child, a first year, a stranger was scolding you. A normal person would apologize or defend themselves. You weren’t normal. Instead you laughed at him. He didn’t like that but his irritation subsided into concern. What had he said that was so funny? This seemed like a very serious topic, had he told it like a joke? “Why are you laughing?”

“You seriously waited out here, outside my classroom, just to scold me. Man, you are taking justice pretty seriously, that or I offended your pride as a man. Is it that one? Did I make you feel less of a man because I pushed you while blaming you for my own neglectfulness?” Shoto couldn’t believe how you spoke to him. His cheeks actually heated up from embarrassment and that never happened. People didn’t usually speak to or toward him like this. It was, different? You patted his head when he didn’t speak but just stood there like an old windows computer trying to start up.

“See yah.”

“Wait.” You stopped behind him and turned around. He was facing you with conflicting emotions. “What are you doing right now?”

“I have training, why?” You were put off slightly by his change in attitude.

“Can I watch.” Okay that sounded stalkerish. “I have a classmate who likes to collect information on people’s quirks. You’re from class 2A so I assume you have a unique or powerful quirk. I think he’d like to watch and I have to write a report on quirk studies so…”

Bullshit, it was all bullshit, you knew it he knew it. The janitor that passed awkwardly knew it. This boy would die of embarrassment if you brought it up. A sigh slips out and you can’t say no because you are already late and at least this would give you an excuse to give your teacher. “Sure.”

After getting changed you found four underclassmen staring at you. It was uncomfortable and almost comedic. You never really brought attention to yourself, actually class 2A never really attracted too much attention. The dual hair colored boy stood next to a green haired boy who seemed really excited to see you. The other two consisted of a taller blue haired boy with glasses and a shorter round cheeked brunette. You actually realized you knew all four of them. A grin spread across your face as you pointed at them.

“You guys are from class 1A. I watched you guys at the sports festival and I watched you guys at the school festival. Oh man you are Midoriya Izuku, you’re Iida Tenya, Uraraka Ochako, and that makes you Todoroki Shoto. They all looked amazed that you knew their names. Hell, it was hard to not when everyone talked about the class of villain fighting heroes. They were famous and you had mocked the class heartthrob. It made you laugh because you had classmates that found him hot with his cold demeanor and mysterious scar. When you looked at him you saw a socially awkward kid.

“You’re L/n F/n! Your quirk is so cool! I read about it in a book Mr. Aizawa had about former students. I would love to be able to see it in action! Would that be okay?” He was enthusiastic and you couldn’t say no. You also needed to get to training because you were even more late now. After a nod they all followed you to the training grounds. Other students looked at you and laughed at your entourage. They made teasing comments while others swooned over Shoto. You rolled your eyes. Training mattered more than some dumb boy. Little did you know how wrong you were at that moment. Running into him that afternoon started a domino effect. He had watched you never looking away as you fought. You were mesmerizing. He hadn’t heard a word said by his friends. It was cliché but he was captivated by you.

After that day Shoto found himself following you a lot. He would meet you after class and watch you train or go with you to the library. It was awkward to you but kind of cute. He opened up to you about his past and you didn’t cry. Instead you smiled and held his hands. You told him that he was strong and that his past would never define his future. He had fallen deeper and deeper in love with you, who seemed so far out of his league. Little did he know that he filled your thoughts. You always wondered what he was doing or thinking. You learned to make soba so the two of you could eat while watching the sunset. He missed being around you when you were at your work studies but he supported you behind the scenes. Eventually the two of you were inseparable, until graduation. You stood amongst your fellow classmates laughing and smiling, beaming with pride that you had made it. Everyone had flowers and gifts except you. You turned when someone had called your name. It was Shoto standing facing you, he had a bouquet of your favorite flowers with red streaked across his cheeks. He said something but you couldn’t hear over the crowds. As you walked closer you tried to hear him better. You kept yelling that you couldn’t hear so he mouthed it slowly and you realized what he said; I love you. Your heart stopped and all of a sudden no one else mattered. The loud crowd disappeared leaving just you and Todoroki. Your legs kicked off the ground flinging yourself the distance tackling him into a hug. He dropped the flowers, wrapping his arms around you.

“I love you too.” He cried against your shoulder because he hadn’t known love like this. Your love was something he gained and his trust was something you had fought for. He loved you and you loved him and that was all the mattered. That time felt so far away but in reality, it was only 3 ½ years ago. You’d been with him for 3 ½ years and engaged for six months. It wasn’t always perfect but you wouldn’t have traded it for anything, except you did trade it. You traded it for some shitty apartment and a death sentence. You were truly the villain of this story.  

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It took Dabi two days to ‘find/steal’ the things on your shopping list. He brought you a haul of ‘crap’ and clothing of various sizes. You were miserable but this was one thing that made you smile through the depression. Cleaning supplies gave you something to occupy your time. A small chipped table for the eating nook next to the tiny kitchen, a dresser with mismatched paint and broken drawers. A clean set of blankets, sheets, and towels found a home on the bed and in the closet in the hallway. It wasn’t perfect but you were excited to put them where you wanted. It was like an interior design show for the less fortunate. Dabi sat on the couch with a bottle of bourbon while watching people play hero on the TV. You cleaned around him. He wrinkled his nose when you poured carpet cleaner everywhere. The apartment smelled of bleach and lemon by the time you finished. He was actually impressed, a smirk spread across his face as you flopped down on the couch. The large blanket he got you covered the dirty stains on it. He looked you over, noticing how you looked good in the wore torn jeans and oversized t-shirt he got you. It was casual and he liked it. He imagined from what you had come from that you wore a lot of blouses and skirts rather than this.

“You did a good job. I’d give the place two stars.” You hit him with the towel sitting on your shoulder. He laughed noticing your eye roll. “I gotta leave for a few days. While I’m gone you better behave and maybe I’ll bring you a treat.”

“Fuck you.” He had gotten used to your foul mouth and wondered how such an energetic snarky girl ended up with tight ass Shoto who only showed emotions like confusion and anger. He pushed off the couch. He needed to go back to the league and knew he couldn’t involve you in it. You were dead and it needed to stay that way. The league would use you for a different goal and he couldn’t let that happen. He grabbed his coat throwing it over his shoulder along with a wink and kiss to you. You blinked with an annoyed face before catching the kiss throwing it to the ground grinding it under your foot. His laugh could be heard even after the door closed behind him. You were once again alone which changed your demeanor from aggressive to weary. Your eye lids drooped and your shoulders fell. Your legs found themselves pulled onto the couch with your arms wrapped around them. You watched the news hearing segments talking about Deku saving three people from a fire and Red Riot helping catch a bank robber. You smiled happy for them. You never resented them, instead you rooted for your fellow heroes. They were saving the day while you scrubbed strange stains out of ancient carpet.

“As you all know we recently lost hero/name and it’s been hard to cope. This Saturday is her funeral. It is not an open viewing but we were informed that citizens are allowed to place mementos and grieve afterward outside the building. We are also being told to remind people to let hero Shoto grieve and not to bother him if you see him in public.”

Whatever was said afterword you didn’t hear because you were processing the new information. You were going to be buried, this makes it even more real. Chest tightening you stumbled off the couch reaching for the remote. Silence surrounds you as the TV clicks off. The room in spinning and you feel as if you are actually in a small box being buried. You cover your ears begging the world to stop spinning and for the voices to stop. You hear your friends giving eulogy’s, you hear crying and whispers of disappointment. You were a hero how did you lose. The ground hit you, wait no, you hit the ground. Your legs had given out and you were sobbing into the carpet, you could taste the chemicals you had used earlier. At the moment you didn’t care, not about the taste or about anything else. You had a request for Dabi that you knew wouldn’t fly well. You wanted to attend your own funeral.

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A week after your ‘murder’ came your funeral. There were strict rules enforced by Dabi, you weren’t allowed to leave the apartment for obvious reasons. This rule prevented you from going but you got to watch it. After begging for some kind of way to be there Dabi returned with a laptop that had shaky footage. You didn’t know who was recording it and knew better than to ask. The footage wasn’t perfect but it gave you what you wanted. Dabi offered to leave you alone but you didn’t want to be alone. The sounds of sniffling were caught coming from many guests. The building was gorgeous. Huge with marble walls and columns near the entrance. It felt like you were at a Greek wedding not a funeral. Everyone was adorned in black. You didn’t recognize the people near the camera person. The camera angle moved and you gasped, walking down the aisle leading toward the end of the room where you assumed a casket laid were your friends. You had friends from your own classes but these weren’t them. These were the friends you made through Shoto. Midoriya walked, his hand holding tightly onto Uraraka’s, she was crying. You smiled sadly at her through the screen. They were an adorable couple who you always rooted for. Now they were finding comfort in each other mourning you. Following behind them was Kirishima with Bakugou, Bakugou looked good in a suit but his red eyes made the red around them stand out more. You felt bad since you knew how much he hated feeling or looking weak. Kirishima was smiling but it held pain. There were many other classmates following behind but the camera turned to watch people gather around the front doors. Your hands flew over your mouth and Dabi had to catch the laptop before it fell from your lap. He placed it on the coffee table angling it so you could watch without dropping it. He wanted to scoff at your pain because he couldn’t understand why you would be sad. This was all a game, a show put on for the media. No one really cared for others this much, or maybe they did, Dabi just knew that he didn’t understand why the dead felt bad for the living.

“Please let him through.” Tenya was signaling people to move away from Shoto. Once the crowds dispersed you could see him. He looked like he hadn’t slept in months, his eyes bloodshot with black holes surrounding them. His cheeks were hollowing, and the rest of him looked thinner. He hadn’t been eating. His hair wasn’t styled and seemed messier, longer. His skin was dull and lifeless, like his eyes. He walked like he had no idea where he was going. Tenya held his shoulder walking with him like a guide. Had Tenya been watching over him for you? You hope someone was, you hope someone will intervene and stop his self-destruction. The camera follows as close as it can and you don’t know how much you can watch. In the front, stood rows of chairs for close family and friends. Your mother was wiping her eyes with her head against your fathers’ shoulder. They looked at the casket that you knew was empty. The camera watched Shoto tap their shoulders. They stood up and hugged him. He was apologizing to them; they didn’t take the apology. Your parents were always fond of him. They wouldn’t blame him. Shoto sat down away from them, Natsuo and Fuyumi sat next to him. Natsuo was rubbing his sisters’ shoulder as she sobbed into her handkerchief. The seat next to them was empty, reserved for Endeavor, for someone who wouldn’t show up. Natsuo had told you before that Endeavor didn’t do funerals, he even missed his own sons. You were actually glad that he wasn’t there, he didn’t deserve to be there. Dabi noticed your change from a forlorn stare to one filled with scorn. He knew you had been thinking about Endeavor, he knew because he had felt he same thing. He had been in the same situation watching people cry over him while the person that caused it was MIA. He watched the footage continue and could feel you stiffen up as people got up to speak. Speech after speech drained you of tears and life. You looked like you were actually dying as you watched Shoto stand behind the mic.

“I don’t want to talk much. I could stand here and tell you every tiny detail about F/n that I love, that I miss. I could tell you about her but I won’t. Instead I’ll say this and only this. I will not sleep, I will not eat, I will not rest till the killer is caught. No one even cares that this was a murder. She isn’t dead, she was murdered and while the rest of you cry and live your comfy lives, I’ll be out there taking down her killer.”

A sentimental speech is what you expected but received a promise of revenge. People gasped and shook their heads in disbelief. It was tasteless to people but to you it meant he fell right into Dabi’s clutches. Dabi was smiling with knowing eyes. He already knew this would happen. He knew all along and you couldn’t be mad because apart of you hoped this would get you back in his arms faster. The rest of the funeral went by without much problem. You watched the casket be lowered into a hole and buried with goodbyes and bundles of flowers. Shoto was the only one left besides the camera man. He put the camera down walking over to Shoto. You gasped as the winged hero put a hand on Shoto’s back apologizing for his lose. Shoto didn’t react while Hawks picked up the camera and turned it off. You watched the black screen feeling your hands shake, you slowly turn to Dabi.

“Don’t ask questions you don’t want answers to.” You did was answers. You needed to know why the number 2 hero of Japan, Endeavors subordinate, was doing Dabi a favor. You had heard about heroes helping villains and selling secrets but this was to close to home. What the hell was happening. “Please Dabi, tell me what’s happening. Why was Hawks there? Why was he recording for you?”

“We all have secrets doll. I can’t tell you to much but I can tell you he owed me a favor and this was how he was repaying me. I needed to see your funeral as well to make sure my plan was actually working. It is and Shoto seems to be playing the game as intended. Soon enough you’ll be trading your stained walls in for your old egg shell white ones. Your pumpkin will turn back into a carriage sweetheart and while your dancing with the prince, I’ll have the kings head on a stick.” You knew he wanted Endeavor but you finally started piecing together exactly how he was going to do it. He was going to use Shoto to kill him or capture him. Either way Shoto was now a pawn on the same board as you. Dabi was playing the game against a cheater, someone who wouldn’t lose easily. Endeavor was not an easy man to break. This was going to be harder than manipulating your husband and you knew that.

“I want to help.”

“You already have. You being dead gives Shoto reason to kill. To go against his hero code. As long as you stay dead and he seeks revenge all goes well. I get what I deserve.” His phone beeps and he’s leaving you. The laptop goes with him, you don’t mind because there isn’t anything you can do on it anyway. You walk to the window watching his figure disappear into the foggy street. What an ugly night. You went to bed and curled up with a book Dabi had brought you.

Elsewhere Shoto stood in the darkness of an alley behind his fathers’ agency. Hawks walked by talking on the phone with someone not noticing the boy’s presence. Shoto waited and slipped into the building before the door closed. He couldn’t be caught using the codes or else they’d know it was him. He knew how to avoid the cameras, how to maneuver the building without getting caught. He found himself outside the large office he had been in plenty of times. To think it would be his father’s final resting place, it was perfect justice. He went to push the door open but hesitated when he heard him talking to someone.

“I offered her money, I offered her positions outside the country, Hell I had other heroes try to seduce her but nothing worked. She was hell bent on staying with Shoto. I couldn’t allow her to ruin his chances at being the number 1 hero. He needed to focus and if he were to marry it should be to someone with a quirk that complimented his. I needed her out of the picture and to think someone else took care of it before we had too.” Shoto knew his father was shitty, manipulative, abusive and so many other fucked up things but this was something else. This was beyond shitty and abusive. This was evil and a power trip. His father may not have killed you but he was going to get what he deserved for playing a part in it. The door opened under his touch and when he walked in his father turned a huge smirk across his face.

“Oh Shoto, I was just going to call you.” He put his phone down and Shoto was able to make out the name of the contact he had just been talking to, Hawks. He thought back to the funeral and pieced together theories. Hawks had a part in this and he was going to find out exactly what happened to you. His arm encases itself in fire the other arm freezing the exits. He stares at his still smirking father. “This isn’t a friendly visit. You’re going to tell me you killed Y/n and then I’m going to decide if I should kill you now or slowly torture you first.”    

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