#Theo is the impulsive as shit and fuck this fuck that guy

[elliot-orion]

For Atticus: 7, 10, 14 For Theo: 15, 20, 25 For Edgar: 29, 33, 35

Atticus

7 You have the key to immortality in your hands. But not for free. If you want it, as a price, your worst enemy also gains immortality. Is it worth it?

“I mean not really. I don’t really care about the worst enemy thing, I can just. You know. Move. But immortality is overrated and I’d rather Just… not… (id like to note Atty is mildly suicidal. So there’s that)

10. If a lot of people, possibly innocent people, have to die in order to make a real change, is it worth it? Can you live with their deaths even if it helps people in the present?

“What kind of change are we talking here? I need to move away from my family change, or like. Slavery is bad change? Because no for the first one. The second… I don’t know. If they aren’t innocent, sure whatever, but innocent people… I don’t know. I definitely couldn’t live with it, that’s for sure”

14. What of love? Say you discover your lifelong crush on another has finally been reciprocated… but they are currently dating a family member or a dear friend the crush feels responsible to honour. Do you force the break up? Date on the side? Bottle it up forever?

“Well how on the nose of a question. It just so happens my two crushes are Fucking dating each other, and no, I’m not going to do shit about it. They are much happier without me barging in on the relationship and I wouldn’t dare break them up. It’s TheoandEdgar. Inseparable. They have their fairytale ending and I’m not a part of it. That’s just how it is.” (Id like to note that eddie and Theo who are serial eavesdroppers are pretty pissed about this. Also you made atty mad and now he’s moping)

Theo.

15. Is lying to others to gain their approval more important than being genuine and hated?

“Fuck no. I’m not going to lie! If you have a problem with me bring me then you can just leave because I don’t have time for that shit.”

20. Are there people in this world who, no matter how much time and penitence is given, should never be forgiven?

“Considering I know Atty’s Dad and sister… abso-Fucking-Lutley.”

25. What is more important to you? An idea of yours being used and appreciated or the credit for that idea beings yours and yours alone?

“I have never done anything even remotely interesting so I don’t know. Usually my ideas are of the enabling kind so they aren’t appreciate anyways. Well, Edgar loves it. Atty and Reilly… less so!”

Edgar

29. Is genius equal to hard work? Does a genius deserve praise for doing well without effort? Are they above us?

“Genius is a bullshit term ok? You are smart. Cool I guess. Genius is inventing French fries. Genius is someone who can beat a rigged carnival game and win me another squid hat. You don’t count as a genius if you can make numbers work. You’re just smart. Congrats fucker now you’ll never get a date because everyone hates math.”

33. If you could wipe certain memories from your head, would you? Why would you? What memories?

“I used to think I wanted to wipe Theo from my brain. I thought forgetting everything that happened would make it easier to deal with his death. But Mom talked to me and said that forgetting doesn’t make it any easier, because your heart will still remember the pain and you can’t get rid of that. So no. I think I’ll keep my memories.”

35. Is every person in this world wholly unique or can they be categorized? Can they be grouped and mentally dissected? Are you just another sheep in another flock or are you the sole unique soul?

“You know what? Fuck that ok. People are unique. Every Fucking one of them. I’ve seen people’s souls. I know for a fucking fact that every one looks different. People don’t fit in neat boxes. Even if you like the exact same things as someone else, you have different emotions and you can’t categorize those. Life isn’t neat little boxes. Life’s messy colors and drawing outside the lines. So fuck this question and fuck the idea that you aren’t original.”

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE ASK FRUEND I LOVE YOU

[juminly]

As The Rush Comes (Ikémen Vampire Theodorus Van Gogh x Reader)

Summary: You are at a nightclub with your friend Theodorus Van Gogh. The problem is, you want to be more than friends. Does he feel the same? Hell yes. Change is bound to happen. And it does. This one-shot was inspired by the song As the Rush Comes.   Read all 3 parts on AO3. Rating: Mature (explicit/coarse language, detailed mention of sexual acts) 

Tags: Modern AU, mutual pining, sexual tension/frustration, jealousy, dirty dancing. 

Warning: mention of the reader not remembering the events of a past night of heavy drinking and partying.  Word Count: 3500 approx. 

Club Music Playlist *Kiss you by Nadia Ali **Down to Love (Kyau & Albert Remix) by Armin Van Buuren feat. Ana Criado

***Still I Wait (Richard Durand’s In Search of Sunrise Remix) by Jonas Steur feat. Jennifer Rene. 

Song lyrics are in bold; look at this asterisks to know which song is playing in the background and play the song as you read -------------------------- *I'd wake up, and make love to you if I had you, I would touch you so much, but I'm not allowed to… Nadia Ali, bless her heart, was only adding salt to your wounds. You were already feeling salty enough for feeling the way you did and she didn’t make it any better. Why were you salty? While the song went on and on about how the vocalist just needed to wait for the perfect moment to kiss the one she wanted to show love to, you were here lamenting pathetically over Theodorus Van Gogh, the man that occupied your every waking thought and dream… and most recent fantasies.

The music was thrumming loudly in your ears, the discographies selected by this particular local DJ was always to your liking. The rhythmic beat of trance sending the club-goers into an ephemeral state of rapture as the dancefloor flocked with writhing bodies, the scent of alcohol, sweat and sex heady in the air. Were people living in some sort of state of drought? The thirst was real… and so palpable. You were not one to judge, you felt it too.

Thud… Thud… Thud… Was that the music or your pulse? You couldn’t tell anymore.

Would you pretend, we're only friends, if I kissed you, At least I can dream of you in a scene, when I'd kiss you.

You’ve dreamed of so many scenes, in so many different locations and in all of them, you were in the most compromising situations and positions. Holy fuck, just thinking about how those icy blue eyes staring into you while he lazily ran his tongue over his swollen lips, the ones you wanted to kiss and bite so damn much, that chiseled body of his positioned between your… No.. No… You told yourself you wouldn’t go there but your mind couldn’t help but wander.  The song had just been coaxing you to act on your impulses and you covered your ears, just to keep Nadia from tempting you more than you already were.

How many months has it been since the incident?

The office hottie, Arthur Conan Doyle, had thrown an extravagant birthday bash in his so-called crib, and to your own surprise, the man had exquisite taste and the entire thing was planned immaculately. Who had been his wingman during the entire process? The hot mister that was your companion at the club for the night. That was how, when and where you met him, much to your dismay.

You heard that things had gotten hot and heavy between you during that birthday party and you were literally flung over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and carried into Arthur’s bedroom. Things had gotten that heated… However, big emphasis on the word “heard” cause you unfortunately don’t remember jackshit from that fateful night and cursed yourself all the time for this.

His hands roughly groping you and his lips fiercely crashing down on yours… The things that could’ve happened… The things you could’ve done… You could ONLY imagine. Imagine, yes. Remember, no. The heavens indisputably had some mocking plot to make you miserable. Miserable? You definitely were. After that night, you were thrown into the friendzone. With a capital F.

Pining after a man that wouldn’t lay a finger on you unless it was to ruffle your hair like some puppy. You almost got your chance at some type of romance in your uneventful life… Still, things only got interesting when that asshole suddenly showed up, but it wasn’t like you were actually willing to admit that to him. You’d rather swallow his… Brain and heart, focus. Libido and hormones, get the fuck away. He wants me… He wants me not… I want everything he’s got.

Shut it, Nadia. You were already drowning in heaps of doubt and you’ve clearly… clearly had enough of her feeding you more fantasies and unlawful and excessively unadulterated thoughts and you were doubting yourself already. And what you decided to do? Drink yourself into oblivion, accompanied by the vexing perpetrator who had just gotten back from the men’s room. It was admiration and pining time for you. As he slowly approached you with long and sure strides, Theodorus was, is and will always be probably the most gorgeous, handsome piece of eye-candy that you’ve ever laid your eyes on and you were 99.99% sure that this statement was your true and unbiased opinion.

Beige dress pants hugged the length of those legs that carried him, giving you the chance to drool over the definition of his stature that you could see thanks to the tightness of the fabric, emphasizing a bit too much for your liking on his… No, don’t go there. Heat flooded your reddened cheeks as your thoughts scrambled wildly in your mind as he found his seat next to you. That’s always where you found yourselves. Together. Always. You get along so well. It’s bound to be this way, right? The string of fate and the butterflies of time managed to find a way to bring you together. While your internal ruminations besieged your mind, a rich baritone touched your ears, unmistakably his. “We probably should leave soon. I don’t want to suffocate in this clothed orgy.” You shot him an inquisitive look, silently asking him to elaborate on his point. “You look like you’re about to melt in that pretty little dress of yours, Hondje. I’d rather hop to any pub or have a drink at that klootzak’s place and deal with his moaning than this. At least his place isn’t as filthy as this hellish kennel.”

“You talk like an old man, Theo. Why don’t we just try to live a little?” He simply gave you a glare, a response that you knew very well. He wasn’t going to waste his breath on such mundane frivolities. It seemed that you would have to take the drinking party elsewhere. Clubs were clearly not Theo’s favourite destination.

You couldn’t help but giggle at this man’s dog analogies. As much as they pissed the shit out of you… Wait. Rewind. Did he just compliment what you were wearing...? He noticed?

For the first time in a while, you decided to try “letting loose” and go for something different. You would usually go for something, more like, anything black but today was different. In celebration of whatever weird feeling and eccentricity that came over you, you decided to go for a skimpy off-the-shoulder purple dress that kissed every curve of your luscious form, barely reaching the top of your mid-thigh and pushed your bosom in a way that accentuated your cleavage. You felt hot and you wanted to feel hot too.

**It's down to love tonight, This is where we are, As we turn into the light, Let’s make it last...

On any other day, Down to Love would’ve been one of your favourite songs to listen to but definitely not today. You were clearly not down to any kind of love. This is not where you wanted to be and you didn’t want this to last. You growled under your breath, enough to have Theodorus, the man of the hour… no, he was the man of your every-fucking-day and your every-goddamn-dream and fantasy, tilt his head to the side to cast a judging gaze at you, raising an arched eyebrow with a silent what-the-fuck is wrong with you.

There was so much that was wrong with you and he was the cause of it all. The prime suspect. The only one, this maddeningly handsome asshole.

Lips slick with moisture, your eyes lingered a little too long on the inviting gleam before you attempted to relax in your seat, while Theo remained hunched apathetically over the bar counter, nursing his drink thoughtlessly. Both of you were so accustomed to whatever it was that you were doing, you fell into a pattern that soon began to feel more like a ritual. You couldn’t even remember how you became his drinking buddy but there was something that Arthur said once… Both of you were not the type to party hard so it made it hard for him to have fun with the both of you, even though Theo and him spent an obscene amount of time together. You were kindred spirits. That was a fact.

Being around him made it hard to breathe. You noticed that not only the first button of his shirt was open, but now, the second one was too, giving you a good look of impeccably sculpted pectorals, his skin shining under the epilepsy-inducing lights of the nightclub while drops of sweats meandered down to places unknown, unexplored… and desired. With one arm propped on the counter and leaning his full weight to one side, his form was completely angled towards you and his eyes roamed appraisingly over your provocative dress and your overall physique. You knew that look, you’ve seen it before. It was the same way he scrutinized and examined art.

His gaze was now posed on your thighs, your dress hiked up even more on your silky skin as you crossed and uncrossed your legs restlessly. “Looking at something, big guy? My eyes are up here. You’ve been checking me out since we got here.” you quipped with a smirk. “Hm?” he hummed, as if you had ripped him away from the depth of his thoughts. You could see a faint blush on the top of his cheekbones… It was clearly only a sign of inebriation. Right? “Oh, I was just wondering who you’re trying to seduce.” he replied blankly before continuing. “You wouldn’t need to dress up like this to impress me.” His tongue swiped over his lower lip, wettening it before throwing his head back, draining his glass of whiskey and turning his body away, leaving you perplexed by his words.  What… What exactly did he mean by that? Shaking your thoughts away, you had enough wine in your system to finally get the words spilling from your lips. “Theo… Wanna dance?” Those three words prickled his ear drums and he turned to look at you with a judging smirk. “Is it playtime, Hondje?” You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms at his expected remark, climbing off your bar stool and tapping your heeled foot on the black tile beneath you. Looking at him expectantly, your heart clenched, momentarily regretting your decision to build up the courage to take the first step. He was bound to embarass you somehow.

“I’m sure you can find lots of other pups and mutts to play with in that disgusting pile of bodies.” An affronted expression washed over his handsome face and you resisted the need to slap his smugness away. You began to tremble slightly and snapped at him “You suck, Theo!”. His reaction made you freeze for a second. His eyes were taking you in, gliding over your body from head to toe before locking with yours. “Would you like to take me for a test drive? Are you in heat, Hondje?” he practically purred.

“Fuck you, Theo.” Was he capable of doing anything but frustrate (and arouse) you? You could feel an intense heat building inside of you, your heart beating angrily in your chest as you seethed from his response. You blinked, completely outraged and offended as he dared to freaking chuckle at your contained outburst.

“You wish. Now, can you go bark at someone else and let me enjoy my bloody drink?” Not wanting to give him more of your precious time, you actually flipped him the bird this time, scowling at him in disbelief, all that wine in your blood giving way for your tongue to sharpen as the night went on. “Do you always have to be such an ass?”

The ear-splitting grin on Theo’s face suddenly transformed into a smirk… and a scowl? when a young man behind you asked you to dance. You couldn’t really register what the guy was saying. Something along the lines of “ I don’t know if he’s just stupid or blind” and honestly, you kind of agreed with him. As much as Theodorus Van Gogh was a genius at what he did, he was stupid for not giving in to you. You were ready to give him… your everything. You were in deep shit, being so in love with a man who would possibly not return your affections? He looked like the incarnation of heartbreak and didn’t that just make you giddy? Being around him almost made you… sarchotic.

Sarchotic or not. Now you had his full attention.

Those ocean blue eyes were trained on you, an unfamiliar predatorial aura reverberating from him, still seeping through Theodorus’ attempt to enshroud it with the negligible quirk of those lips, that half-smile that you knew too well. If he wanted a show, he’s gonna be getting one. Not that you really cared whether he enjoyed it or not, but the least you could do is actually enjoy the company of the… You looked at your newly appointed dance partner, who had just lead you to the dancefloor, to evaluate him.

Okay, he wasn’t too bad: a bit shorter and less muscular than Theo but his hair were waves of chocolate brown that were simply asking to be threaded through and pulled. You beamed at your partner, feeling a rush of adrenaline course through your blood, knowing that the handsome Dutch man had his eyes on you and you were going to put a damn show. Wait, it wasn’t a show. You were doing this for you. You didn’t give a fuck and just wanted to have some fun. Looking at the cutie in front of you, you raised your arms in the air and jumped to the beat of the music, body-rolling as you let the sinful rhythm of your racing thoughts lead your every movement. ***I wanted it, I needed it, I love the way your skin felt upon my skin, And I thought you felt the same but you threw me away, Threw me away and still

The man in front of you was definitely getting into the groove, slowly inching close to you and you were more than ready to welcome him. Your hands that were in the air were now resting on his shoulders, your fingers finding the inviting chocolate strands of his hair. His hands were on both sides of your hips, claiming control over the frantic sway of your hips, matching the booming tempo that filled the room. You licked your lips and bit them, feeling your heart race as you snuck a quick look at the bar counter, the expression on Theodorus’ face was absolutely feral… and bloodthirsty.

Good thing you had bitten your lips because you were about to let out an obscene moan as he looked like he was ready to slam you into a wall and fuck you senseless, growling in your ear: You’re already so wet for me, Hondje, so ready for me to slide inside you…. You’ve been teasing me all damn night and when I stuff you with my cock, make you mine… You’ll be screaming my name. A looming presence was suddenly behind you, a hand gripping your hip and forcefully pulling you away from the “cutie”. You had absolutely no idea what happened, when it happened and how it happened. You could’ve sworn that you heard something along the lines of “She’s mine” but it was most probably your brain playing tricks on you. Or not.

“Are you trying to play games with me, Knabbeltje?” His heavy hand on your hip clenched tightly, his fingertips digging in your soft flesh while you drank in the rumble of his voice in your ear, velvety smooth yet deep enough to shake you to the bone, capable of making your knees buckle in weakness. You fought the temptation to rub your legs together and continued the lascivious sway of your hips from side to side in a rhythm that was your own and one that Theodorus would come to learn. Cutie, who? Theodorus was the only person you knew. All your senses acutely aware of him and he made sure of that. Only a breath of air seperated your bodies yet, he was so close but still felt so far before he yanked your back brusquely, your back hitting the vast plain of his chest and the softness of your derriere grazing his crotch. You closed your eyes and hummed with a nonchalant tone, your back arching as you reached your arms behind you, gripping Theo by his nape and threading your digits leisurely through his chestnut locks.

“You really want to know, hm?” You crooned and he tensed briefly but soon relaxed behind you, one hand caressing the curve of your hips, his hold on you was firm and steady, making you feel the heat radiating from his body and enveloping you with the scent of his cologne mixed with whiskey, intoxicating you even more than the wine you drank.

One of his large hands snakes up the curve of your waist, lightly grazing the side of your soft mound and trailing up your neck and resting there. He rolled his hips against yours, your body following his every moment as he dictated your every single motion. The warmth of his breath tickled your ear as he crooned sultrily in your ear. “I could eat you all up, Knabbeltje… right fucking now.” I don't wanna feel rejection, don't wanna have no regrets… Is this a good decision or will you look for someone else? Leave me all by myself...

“Is that so?” you could hear your own smile in your voice and could hear an inherent raspiness in it too. Your thoughts swiveled with yearning and your judgement was clouded by your love for this man… and your inebriation. Your mutual ministrations continued as he grinded his hips at an excruciating pace, drawing out the torture that you were both suffering from. His long fingers were now teasing the column of your neck, careening over your sensitive skin and sending shivers up and down your spine. Slowly, he wrapped his hand on your neck, pressing only lightly and bit the tip of your earlobe before sucking on it, letting his tongue glide over its seams. “I wouldn’t say it if it weren’t true. You want me to repeat myself?”

“I didn’t say any such thing, Theodorus.” You dared to use his full name, intentionally triggering him. His grip tightened on your neck and warm breath caressing your ear. “I’m not all bark like you.” He truly thought that you were all bark but you were prepared and intended to do lots of biting, now that he was so near. You tightened your grip on his strands, making him groan in response. “I hate that you make me feel this way.” you breathed out slowly, trying to ignore the tightening of anticipation rousing in your chest. “Enlighten me… What kind of way do I make you feel, hm?” It was now his turn to tease you. “You know how I feel about you…” you pouted, grudgingly taking a sharp inhale before you carried on with this morphed, semblance of a confession. “You keep… you keep messing with my head, Theo.”

“You’re doing much worse to me, mijn liefste.” Oh God, you didn’t know what he said but you were positive that it was not some dog related insult and your heart drummed even harder in your chest. Why did this man have so much control over you? His voice was like whiskey and chocolate, dark, decadent and ��heavy with yearning, a blazing fire in your core, an excited tremor coursed through your veins like lightning, but not once did you rush the wicked to and fro of your hips, brushing your softness against the harsh ropes of sinew that made him the Adonis that he was.

Your cheeks were rosy as the pink dusk that painted clear skies and he saw that as you twisted your chest to look back and up at him. His fierce stare reflected in your glimmering eyes, your pupils dilating clearly, making them appear almost darkened in their shade. It would be blasphemous to say that Theodorus was anything but completely mesmerizing. “Don’t give me those eyes, Knabbeltje... or I promise I’ll take you here and now.”

I love to see you smile, I love, my love… As much as the thought had you reeling, you wanted the awaited spectacle to be a private one. Gazing straight in his almost glowing orbs of sapphire, he had the look of a man who was born ready to ravage you and rearrange your insides. Leaning down, he drawled against your lips with a huskiness that sent you into a frazzled state of need.

“When I fuck you, I’m going to make sure you always remember it. The only thing that’s gonna spill from those pretty lips is my name.”

------------ Read Part II  HERE.  Tagging le Theo simp squad + those who have been so kind to send me their ideas on what the “dirty dancing scenario” should be like: @delicateikemenmemes @sweetlittlemouse @nad-zeta @nafeary @raymiazaki @munarisblog @karmaaf​ (sorry if I forgot anyone else)  Hope you enjoyed this 💜 Please feel free to leave comments/feedback! Masterlist

[oliviermiraarmstrongs]

mid-year book freak out tag

thank you @bloody-wonder for giving me an excuse to share my book thoughts!

1. Best Book You’ve Read So Far in 2021?

It’s gotta be The Blind Assassin by Margaret Atwood; I hear “feminist period novel about mentally ill woman unable to cope in upper-class society” and I am THERE! It’s like [Stefon voice] This book has EVERYTHING: repressed women, a decaying old house, a complex relationship of two sisters, a pulpy sci-fi story-within-a-story-within-a-story, criticism of capitalism and reactionary attitudes and politics, commentary on how conservative society shuns those it perceives to be “other” and a threat to the social order (poor people, socialists, “unconventional” women). It is EXTREMELY my shit.

2. Best Sequel You’ve Read So Far in 2021?

The only one I've read is Siege and Storm, so Siege and Storm! Shadow and Bone was captivating, if a little simplistic, but the sequel really fleshes out the characters, setting, and themes. It’s great to see Alina take a more active role, and I love the exploration of sainthood. 

3. New Release You Haven’t Read Yet, But Want To?

I’m really curious about Michelle Zauner’s memoir Crying in H Mart. Same with Axiom’s End, which I haven’t really been seeking out, but it’s been resting on my list since I like a lot of Lindsay Ellis’ stuff.

4. Most Anticipated Release For Second Half of 2021?

5. Biggest Disappointment?

The Penelopiad by Margaret Atwood. I’ve been getting into Atwood, and I have a soft spot for female-centric retellings of myths, so this was on my list for a long time. It’s not bad; it’s decent as a character study and offers some good perspective on the hanged slave women from The Odyssey, but overall it came off as...bitter? And not in a good way. It’s reasonable to include commentary on how bad things were for women in ancient times, but after a while I’m just like “But there had to be a time when Penelope was happy, right?” But the biggest failing has to be the treatment of Helen. Why a story focused on bringing literary justice to silenced women also characterizes Helen of Troy as a manipulative, arrogant bitch who single-handedly ignited the Trojan War because she enjoys fucking people over, I’ll never know. Ironic that in the opening chapter, Penelope bemoans being used as a yardstick with which to judge other women, and then the book proceeds to do exactly that with her and Helen. Can’t let Penelope have a positive relationship with another woman! There could be some form of unreliable narrator at play, but there’s not much indication that that’s the case here. Even Homer had a more nuanced portrayal of Helen than this!

6. Biggest Surprise?

I suppose The Red Tent. I picked it up at a Goodwill because of my aforementioned interest in female-centric retellings. It’s not amazing, but I wasn’t really expecting it to emotionally affect me like it did. You spend so much time setting up Dinah’s family and this supportive community of woman within a patriarchal society, only to have Dinah abandon it all after getting betrayed by her father and (most of) her brothers. Hearing about how her family fell apart after she left and she never got to see her mothers again really gets to me. The book has flaws for sure - neither of Dinah’s romances are developed very well, and some of its themes can come off as gender essentialist - but I think it’s a nice exploration of female labor and traditions that too often get ignored.

7. Favorite New Author?

The only relatively new author I’ve been reading is Leigh Bardugo, soooooo... honestly I don’t know what I can say that hasn’t already been said, I got into the series pretty late. Great world-building, witty dialogue, a familiar type of story with enough interesting ideas to make it feel fresh. Check out Shadow and Bone if you get the chance. Sound of the summer.

8. Newest Fictional Crush?

You would think it would be Nikolai Lantsov since I just finished reading Siege and Storm and he seems to be the fan favorite... but nah, not yet. He’s fun, but he doesn’t hit me in that way (Though very sexy of him to just casually proposition Alina and Mal for a royal polycule, a la Arthur/Guinevere/Lancelot; would love an AU where they accept his offer). However, I would let Zoya murder me. Every time Zoya is not in a scene I am asking “Where’s Zoya?” Also shout out to Alina, just because I would treat her better than all the men in her life! 

9. Newest Favorite Character?

Gonna try to do this without spoiling too much, but Laura Chase in The Blind Assassin really resonated with me. Her personality reminds me a lot of myself, especially as an an autistic person, like the way she has her own way of thinking that makes perfect sense to her, but makes other people see her as odd and naive. I love how she’s set up in-universe as this Sylvia Plath-esque tragic heroine, with Iris spending the rest of the book interrogating and deconstructing, and in a way, reconstructing this image of her. Atwood you’re insane for this. I forgive you for the Helen thing now.

10. Book That Made You Cry?

I never got as far as crying, but the part in The Goldfinch where [spoilers incoming] the art heist goes wrong and Theo is alone in the hotel room and he’s spiraling and considering suicide and finally dreams of his mom… all that was too much for me and I had to put the book down for the night. This guy just can’t catch a fucking break.

11. Book That Made You Happy?

fucidjdjdj I didn’t read any happy books this year. Shadow and Bone and Siege and Storm because I read them really fast unlike my usual months-long reading schedule.

12. Favorite Book Adaptation You Saw?

Predictably, Shadow and Bone. I basically bought and read the book less than a week before the show came out because I thought it looked interesting and wanted in on the hype (mostly because Jessie is cute 🥰). Honestly, the show improves a lot on the first book; the multiple storylines make it more dynamic and complex, the actors really help to make the characters feel more fleshed out, and Alina and Inej interacted for like three scenes, introducing an unexpected but thematically rich ship.

13. Favorite Review You’ve Written This Year?

14. Most Beautiful Book You’ve Bought So Far This Year?

I impulse-bought this book of Romantic poetry at Barnes and Noble just because it was pretty and I had a gift card

15. What Books Do You Need To Read By The End Of The Year?

Besides finishing The Grisha Trilogy/Six of Crows duology/Zoya’s duology that I forgot the name of….I don’t know. I’m not a reader that plans in advance. I acquire books, finish whatever I’m currently reading, look through my stacks deciding what to read next, spend an hour doing so because I can’t decide if I’m in the mood for any of them, and either force myself to read one or buy/borrow a new one.

I’m tagging @betweenironyandsilver, @illuminaticns, @borispavlikovskys, @chdarling, @sctine, @mightyaubs, @excuseforadrink, and @trckstergods, if you wanna! Or anyone who wants to yell about books.

[pirateboy]

Josh and Donna for the ask game 😎

The babes!!! Will absolutely do them hell yh

(also realising that i don't rlly have any proper hcs outside of queer/nd stuff so lmao we'll see how this goes)

Joshua ;^)

Adhd josh!!!!!!! U see all those exclamation points? I am Passionate about this hc. He literally does have adhd I dunno how to explain it to u. (Obligatory plug of my ADHD josh fic sorry). I think he definitely struggles with rsd a lot (e.g leo in disaster relief), as well as impulsivity and not just. doing stuff lmao (tobacco and when he almost got fired in the first ep). I think he gets rlly deep into hyperfocus as well, luckily a lot of his interests are in politics so often it's stuff for work, but it's equally as often not (see lemonlyman.com). He's pretty hyperactive and definitely is a very fidgety stimmer, I can also see him vocal stimming a lot, but not even words he'll just make weird sounds. Space hyperfixation josh lyman is my beloved it makes Perfect sense. Also the theoretical physics thing? Yh that was a hyperfixation I dunno what to tell u. Oh also I have to mention how he forced himself to do work.by tying himself to a chair with a belt like. that man has adhd I'm sorry to tell u

Trans Joshhhh. I don't rlly have. proper reasons like I do for the adhd hc I just think it would be cool lmao. (Also have a trans josh fic to plug for this oops). It's definitely something that he's very insecure about, it's something that he doesn't want a lot of people to know about (cos y'know politics), but obviously the gang all find out at certain points and they're all very cool about it <3 I think it's something he's always known about himself in a way, but I think he only lets himself realise it when he's in college. And I mean like, within the first term he's just like oh shit. Also I think a lot of his whole * I'm a manly man >:( * thing is a product of his insecurities about being trans and y'know I've gotta act a certain way or people won't accept me type thing. And hey, at least in the earlier days of his transition probably to prove to himself that he's trans as well. Anyways my guy low key hates himself but he's learning. He's healing <3

Ok hc numero 3, aka the sexuality one. So I Have been converted to gay josh, but also I'm gonna be talking about my tried and tested aro josh hc as well :) I'm doing these together cos I don't have too much to say on gay josh and I've already elaborated too much on aro josh. A couple things about gay josh tho, definitely giving me lesbian > gay man vibes, also was very affected by the whole 'u have to be straight to be trans' rhetoric which led to him denying he was gay for a long time. Aro josh I've talked about to death, but I've been thinking a lot about romance repulsed josh as well and it's very good. Also josh being grey-aro (shout out to theo for this :)). Actually it's probably how I usually think of him now, and not only because I have joshtoby brainrot, I think it makes sense. But also exploring how people who don't experience romantic attraction navigate romantic relationships so... I go back and forth.

Ok Jesus this is getting long. Anyways this is just the vague josh childhood section. Would like to start off by saying that josh was an art kid u can fight me on that. He also did music as well, but it was never his thing on the same way? I also think it was something he picked up, or at least continued cos it helped him feel close to Joanie after she died, and he doesn't play as often as he'd like too but he still kinda keeps up with it. I hc him playing the violin and/or piano btw. Also josh doing ballet my beloved. He has a pretty complicated relationship to it, he still likes to dance but doing it in an organised sense rlly fucked him up, he has adhd and is trans and even aside from that ballet is pretty brutal. His guilt after Joanie died meant for a while after he rlly focused on trying to be the Perfect child, he didn't wanna cause any more trouble so he stayed with ballet a lot longer than he would have otherwise. Also when he started struggling in school a lot more, he's grieving already and he puts so much pressure on himself to be perfect in school but he just Can't do it and it just makes everything worse. In the mrs morello episode he also mentions a teacher that he had who he rlly liked? Anyways that teacher recognised that josh doesn't work in the same way as other people and helped him and taught him different study techniques and all that so he started improving. Even so, I think he was getting by pushing himself rlly unhealthily, he definitely uses his anxiety to help him get stuff done (which is bad lmao) but that's stuff he's continued doing into adulthood as well. Oh this is a rlly random one but I think he moved schools quite a few times.

Last one let's go!!!! Josh and his mental health B). I think he has a lot of fire anxiety still (inspired by that one time he says to Ronna to make sure the buildings up to fire code). I also think he has a lot of regular anxiety. He. has Anxiety is what I'm trying to say. Definitely started when he was a teenager and he's been in therapy on and off for it since then. Actually no wait. He had anxiety when he was a teen yh, he'd have panic attacks but he'd hide them cos he didn't want anyone to worry about him. But he gets to college and his mental health gets a lot worse, I think he is actively suicidal at one point, but he eventually finally goes to therapy, and he's not ok, but he's better. I obviously think he's been in therapy for lots of things, but anxiety is one thing he consistently finds himself in therapy for. I hc that he originally started seeing first stanley cos of his anxiety, obviously worsened because of his dad's death, but that and joanie is something he's still uncomfortable talking about, he doesn't bring it up often even to his therapists. Josh dissociates a lot as well, I don't have anything to elaborate on that I just think it's true. Also he's rlly bad at avoiding his triggers at least at the beginning, he either thinks he just has to push through it or he's too afraid of telling people they're doing something that's triggering him (he's also pretty bad with poking at his triggers as well, which we can see a bit of at the end of noel). He's also uncomfortable talking about his ptsd, so no-one rlly knows what his triggers are at first. At one point he has an episode in front of the gang, at which point they kind of force him to tell them stuff and they're a lot more careful with him after that, which josh kind of hates? But also appreciates cos he knows he's not at a point where he can ask for that himself. But y'know he gets better he keeps going to therapy all that.

Ok wow I'm so sorry that was like 20 hcs squished into 5 probably lmao. I'll have to do the donna one in a pt.2 cos this is getting way too long but uhh yh. Thx for the ask again :)

[novelconcepts]

I’m so pumped to see the ficlets you decide to write!

Not to start OFF will Hill House right off the bat but...Nell says Shirley almost always picked up the phone for her in the past—would you consider writing one of those conversations where Shirley actually DID help Nell?

(We don’t get a lot of it in the show but Shirley’s relationship with Nell is kind of the one I relate the most to out of all of the siblings and so it’s always the one I wonder about the most)

The phone is ringing again.

The phone, it seems to Shirley Crain, never quite stops ringing these days. It’s Steven with excuses, or Theo to say she’ll be working late; it’s the rehab center with updates that make Shirley tired, or Dad trying to patch something too long broken to even find all the pieces. It’s people, mostly, strangers Shirley doesn’t know and can’t help letting in anyway--people who are aching with loss, adrift in their own shock, saying, “I don’t have much, but I want to do right by her--is this enough? Do you have packages that could...”

The phone is ringing, and Shirley is exhausted. A fifteen-hour shift, a headache that seems only to swell when she baits it with aspirin and cold water, a creeping guilt that never entirely fades when she catches sight her own reflection. 

It’s ringing. Still. Always. She closes her eyes, taps her fingers against the back of the phone case. Flips it over. 

Nell.

Of course. 

Shirley has never much believed in sixth sense magic--in Theo’s furtive need for gloves, or Nell and Luke with their “twin thing”, or Dad’s peculiar brand of talking to shadows--but she always seems able to tell when the call is coming from her youngest sister. There’s an extra vibrato in the ringtone, somehow, when Nell is calling. An extra tremble in Shirley’s hand as she lets her finger hover over the accept button.

Oh, might as well. Nell will only call again in an hour, or two days, or next week. Might as well see what’s on her mind.

“Hello?”

“Sorry,” Nell says instantly. “Sorry, it’s late.”

Shirley’s eyes slide to the computer monitor, to the white numbers announcing an accusatory 9:07. Shit. It is. “Honestly, I hadn’t even noticed.”

“Oh.” A beat. Nell had clearly been prepared for sharp words, had clearly been ready to shield herself in endless apologies until Shirley came back to a level she could approach. Am I like that? Shirley wonders with a wince. Do they need armor to make this call? 

“What’s up, Nellie?” Too casual. Too smooth. She sounds like she’s trying to play Theo’s role, all cool eyes and darting snark. “I’m--it’s good to hear your voice.”

It is. She misses Nell more than she truly knows what to do with--misses Nell’s easy smile, the way she leans forward into a conversation with hands clasped between her knees, the furtive little looks she sends across the room to whichever sibling is making the most sense that day. Nell’s choice to move across the country had been reasonable--at least to Nell--but to Shirley, it had felt like one more battle lost. One more sibling stepping over the line to Steve’s way of thinking. 

“Nell?” She thinks for a minute the line has gone dead, that Nell has abandoned whatever worried twitch sent her hand skittering for Shirley’s name in her contact list. “Are you...”

“Sorry,” Nell repeats. “Sorry, I had--it was a weird day. Do you have those? The ones where you just...really need to hear someone’s voice?”

Someone stable, she doesn’t say. Someone who isn’t hiding out in a nightclub, or warding off the urge for a needle, or pinning all the family trauma to a butterfly board with the biggest, sharpest knives he can find.

“Bad dreams again?” Shirley asks, and Nell exhales. Laughs. It’s shaky, that laugh--it sounds like Mom did, near the end of that summer, when she’d been all dressing gowns and pounding headaches. Shirley closes her eyes.

“No. I mean, yes. Yes, I guess. Always. But no. I think I just...you remember movie nights? I miss movie nights.”

Nell, always going back. Nell, always finding little ways to dig up the past. Sometimes, it’s like this: mundane, sweet, nostalgic. Sometimes, it’s harder to stomach. Shirley is grateful she's having this sort of night, the kind steeped in monotony. 

“What movie would you watch, if you could?” she asks. She leans back in her chair, lets her muscles slacken, lets Nell’s surprised giggle drag her over the line from exhausted mother, wife, businesswoman to sister. 

“This is stupid--I can never remember the name of it--the one that used to scare the pants off Luke? You remember?”

“Going to need to be much more specific than that,” Shirley says, smiling. Luke hadn’t found a movie he couldn’t run screaming from until he was almost twelve years old, and even then, it had been a matter of stiff upper lip above actual courage. 

“The one with the sea monster,” Nell says. “And the guy--the kid from those hockey movies--”

“Magic in the Water,” Shirley intones, remembering all at once a mock sleepover in Aunt Janet’s living room, sleeping bags spread across the floor. Theo, pretending she was too old to care about a baby movie; Luke, pretending he was too old to flip out whenever the screen got even remotely dark. 

“And Luke hated it so much, she agreed to switch movies halfway through,” Nell goes on. “And she put on--”

“The fucking NeverEnding Story,” Shirley finishes, laughing despite herself. 

“Luke just screaming when the luck-dragon shows up for the first time,” Nell says fondly. “And I’m trying to remind him that’s a good guy. That’s a good thing to have turning up. And Luke just goes--”

“Why,” Shirley recalls, “would you want a dragon in your house?” She waits for Nell’s giggles to die down, for Nell’s breath on the other end of the line to level out again. “So, which one would you put on right now?”

“Easy,” Nell says simply. “The Secret Garden.”

It’s so out of left field, so perfectly Nell that Shirley bursts into laughter again. She can hear Nell grinning, can picture her perfectly: dark hair curtaining a hopeful face, eyes bright as she leans across her table or into the comfort of her couch. Nell no-longer-Crain, with a ring on her finger and a house she’s made into a home miles and miles away from anything Shirley can touch. 

“I miss you, Nellie,” she says, shutting her eyes against a surprising well of emotion. “I really do.”

“Come out,” Nell says. “Next time you get a break, fly out and stay with us. Arthur would love to see you.”

Next time you get a break. Nell, dreaming again. Nell, believing with her whole heart that life is simple enough to allow for breaks, for impulse flights, for sisterly bonding time just because it’s needed. 

“You’re okay?” Shirley says, sidestepping the invitation for now. “You’re doing all right with all that sunshine?”

“Sure,” says Nell without missing a beat. Shirley imagines her smile dipping, the tension drawing back into her shoulders as she hunches smaller in her seat. “Sure. It’s great.”

It’s great, Shirley. I’m great, Shirley. I only call because my head is ringing with monsters too big to shut out even after twenty-odd years, Shirley. 

She isn’t Mom, Shirley thinks. She isn’t Mom, muttering to empty rooms, or Dad, all vacancies and no space to rent. She’s just Nell: a heart laid open, beating too hard, waiting for someone to patch her up again. And if that never happens? If no one ever learns quite how to stitch her shut?

She has Arthur, Shirley thinks, and there’s relief in the idea. Arthur and Nell, a closed circuit. Two people with all they could need in one house. Maybe there will be kids someday, or maybe they’ll sweep in at Christmas with expensive gifts and wild laughter, and it’ll all be--it’ll all just be--

Great, Shirley. I’m great. 

She hangs up gently on Nell’s soft goodbye, and wonders why it doesn’t quite feel like Nell was telling her the truth. 

[steppedoffaflight]

Summer’s a Knife - Chapter 1

“You know, if they’re really buggin’ you…” Van’s voice is quiet, but it cuts through the soft background noise of the street. He gives another one of his shrugs, as if what he’s about to say next isn’t important. “We could head back up to my room,” He finishes.

or

Your annual birthday trip with your best friend to San Diego ends in a chance encounter with Van McCann.

A/N: Clearly I’ve just created this blog and popped up out of nowhere, but I wanted somewhere separate to post my writing. This is a full length fic that is (almost) finished and I plan to post a new chapter once a week. It’s incredibly long and I’ve been working on this universe forever so if you’d like to come talk about it in my ask please do lmao.

Word count: ~11k

Chapter One

January 2019

Every single year you debate driving down to San Diego for your birthday.

But once you’re there, welcomed into the city by bustling shops and their neon signs, the smell of the ocean and the sound of the waves crashing against the shore, the comfort of your usual hotel and the good company you bring with you, you never doubt this tradition.

It started three years ago, making this your fourth trip down here. At first it had been impulsive, a dangerous combination of your desire to run away after dealing with your family for the Christmas holidays and your best friend Mary’s down-for-anything attitude. You two had packed up and made the 3 hour drive from L.A., making a hotel reservation on the fly. After a relaxing weekend shopping, laying out on the beach, and forgetting about all the chaos of the holidays, you two returned back home refreshed, renewed, and determined to make this a usual thing.

And so it became. The next January you two made your return voyage, this time scheduling the trip so it landed on your birthday, which only amplified the excitement and festivities. That’s how the tradition remained; despite internal debates between you and Mary about whether you could afford it, and whether the drive was worth it when you could easily do something fun closer to home, you two faithfully continued to celebrate your birthday in this fashion.

This year is no different from any other, except for the addition of Theo, Mary’s boyfriend. She was dating him on your last birthday, but not long enough for you two to guarantee he wouldn’t spoil your fun. By this year, however, he was practically a second best friend to you, fitting into you and Mary’s clique nicely.

After a long, afternoon car ride in traffic under the blistering California sun and a two-hour debate over the music, the three of you have finally arrived and checked in to your hotel. And once you’re finally out on the hotel room balcony, looking down at the sprawling view of the beach and sparkling ocean, you know that despite your doubts this was so worth it.

\\

After getting settled in and some light shopping, your first order of business is getting some food, preferably something greasy and carb-y. Thankfully, there’s a bar right across the street from the hotel that has excellent reviews and some amazing photos of bar burgers online, so you three decide to have dinner there.

It’s a quaint place, a narrow building fighting for sidewalk space, but considering its positive reputation and its proximity to the hotel it’s packed. It takes a good forty-five minutes to be seated at a small round table near the outer edge of the room, and still some time after that for someone to be available to place your orders, but eventually everyone has hot food and cold drinks.

And even after the food is gone the drinks keep flowing, the three of you ringing in your annual trip by ordering rounds of whatever drink name sounded the most interesting.

“You know,” Mary starts when Theo brings back a tray of mixed drinks that have sliced strawberries laying at the bottom of the glass, “I think that guy’s been staring at you.”

You roll your eyes. “Stop.”

“I’m serious!” Mary insists, her voice raising slightly. “I thought maybe he was into Theo, but he didn’t check him out when he went to get drinks. He’s been glancing at you.”

“Lost another man to Y/N,” Theo shrugs.

“You’ve lost zero men to me,” you correct him sternly, “Because men are not interested in me.”

“Not true!” Mary argues. “I’m literally watching someone be interested in you!”

“Is he a creep?” You lean forward to whisper. Mary keeps glancing over your shoulder, so you know he’s behind you, and you’re absolutely determined not to turn around and make a scene trying to take a peek at him.

“No! He seems normal.”

You sigh. She’ll never get off your case unless you humor her. “What’s he look like?”

Mary narrows her eyes, takes a long sip of her drink, and seems to mull over her next words. “Really… normal. Floppy kinda hair. But not in a Justin-Bieber-swoopy way, ya know? Clean shaven. Simple clothes. Can’t really see if he’s got tattoos or anything.”

You try to piece together a mental image. “What color hair?”

“Eh. It’s hard to see in this light. I think brown. Maybe black?”

“How do you know he’s looking at me?”

“He’s not like, staring at you,” Mary looks down quickly, pretends to be interested in the drink menu. “Oh fuck, I think he saw me looking.” She points to a random picture of a drink, pretending to look interested. “He’s mostly on his phone, but he’ll glance over once in a while.”

“Who’s he with?”

“Nobody. I think.”

“So he’s just sitting at a table alone?”

“He’s not at a table,” Mary chances a glance up. “He’s sitting at the bar. I haven’t seen him talk to anyone so yeah, I think he’s here alone.”

“Good to know,” you murmur, taking a long sip of your drink. “Anyway…”

Your efforts to get a new conversation going last for a little while, but Mary stays persistent.

“You should go get us another round,” She suggests.

You narrow your eyes at her, lifting your half-full glass. “We don’t need another round!”

“I do,” She insists, and with an obnoxious slurping noise she gulps up what’s left in her glass through her straw.

“That’s lovely,” You nod, “Enjoy grabbing yourself one.”

Theo snorts at that. Mary is not amused.

“Y/N!” She huffs.

“What?” An edge of irritation has crept into your voice from her persistence. “Why are you always trying to matchmake me? I’m just trying to enjoy my birthday weekend!”

“Hey, you’re the one that told me you wanted this year to be different for you! You know, try new things, put yourself out there, get out of your comfort zone, all that good stuff! What better place to put yourself out there than somewhere away from home?”

You let out a long, agitated sigh. Of course Mary would turn the heart-to-heart you guys had last week into excuses for her meddling.

“This isn’t what I meant,” You huff. “I didn’t mean pick up a random creepy stranger the second I get to San Diego! I more meant, like, I wanted to go on more dates! Have more nights out with you! Get a better job!”

“Plus,” You continue, encouraged by her silence, “I was talking about the year in general. No need to rush into this weekend!”

Mary lets you finish, listening carefully to your rebuttal. But you know better, bracing yourself for her next point after she takes a long sip of her drink.

“Obviously, you have all year.” She states it like it’s an obvious fact, adjusting the hair hanging over her shoulder. “But hear me out, and stay with me here: To set up the rest of the year so that you can enjoy yourself, like freely going on dates, you’re going to have to break your dry spell.” She says the last part with her hands pressed together in prayer position, her fingertips pointing towards you.

Mary lets the first part of her message sink in while it’s your turn to sip your drink. When you’re done you fidget with your straw, eager for something to do while your cheeks heat up in a mild blush. It’s not like it’s any secret that you’ve been busy and haven’t been on a date in a… long time, and as a consequence have not been having sex, but you can’t help but duck your head, feeling called out.

“So to enjoy the rest of the year, you’ve got to do some preparation. Like jumping in a pool, right? If you want to swim, you’ve got to get in the cold water first. So I’m saying have some fun this weekend, and then you’ll be warmed up to do all the crazy, uncomfortable shit you want to this year.”

She was right, but you won’t admit it. And even if she’s right, there’s still no chance, ever, in a million years, that you’re going to go hit on a random guy at the bar.

“Mary,” You say sternly, “I am not hitting on a random ass man in this bar. The end.”

Theo, well-accustomed to the bickering that occasionally happens between you guys, finally clears his throat. Mary doesn’t say anything either. It’s obvious that the conversation is over, and the matchmaking topic is best dropped for the time being.

You take the last sip of your drink, surprised when the straw slurps. 

“I’m gonna go get another round,” You tell them, and don’t bother to take their orders. You use the moment to collect yourself, heading for the bathroom first, and that’s when you see him.

He’s just as Mary described; hunched over his phone, thumbing the screen while he takes idle sips from a bottle of beer. He’s in a dark jacket, collar pulled tight to his neck, and dark jeans. You can see his knee bouncing anxiously where it’s bent so that his feet can rest on the bar of the stool. As you pass by him, a necessary evil to get to the bathroom, he looks up. He looks away just as quick, but his eyes flit back to yours, the two of you making awkward eye contact for a millisecond before he’s looked away yet again. He sets his phone down on the bar, his fingers nervously running through his hair as he looks to the bartender as if he’s going to order, but you notice he doesn’t. You’re overly aware of the breeze between your bodies as you awkwardly step behind him, but once you’ve shimmied between him and another table you’re in the clear, ducking your head down and trying to make it to the bathroom a little faster.

When you head back to the table you make sure to walk around the perimeter of the room, avoiding the bar altogether. 

\\

The rest of the night is as fun as can be. Matchmaking topics are dropped, Mary is in a better mood when you return, and the drinks keep flowing until suddenly it’s last call. 

“Aw,” Mary groans as the bartender makes the announcement a second time. “But I’m still having fun! What sort of bar in a city this busy isn’t open twenty-four hours?”

“That is pretty dumb on their part,” You nod. “They could make a lot of money.”

“Should we grab something? Or call it a night?” Theo asks, gesturing to his empty beer bottle.

“We have been here a while,” You realize when you check the time on your phone, which has been forgotten in the business of today. “Maybe we should call it a night.” 

There’s a reluctant agreement to that until you guys stand up, shuffling your chairs back in place.

“Wait!” Mary exclaims, eyes shining as she throws her bag over her shoulder. “The hotel bar is open all night!”

Everyone’s mood seems to perk up at that suggestion, and you chew it over as you flip through your wallet, looking for some cash to pay your tab. You should probably be exhausted by now, considering the day you’ve had, but the hustle and bustle of the city at night makes it hard for you to feel tired.

“We could…” You trail off, glancing at Theo. He seems into the idea too, and by the time the three of you have paid your tabs and merged with the crowd of people heading for the doors, your plans to continue the night are set. 

The sun had set when you guys make it outside, the sky blanketing the street in a navy blue, barely any stars visible from the light pollution. The neon light from the bar sign shines over the cement, and for a moment in the quiet air the chime of the door opening and closing is the only sound.

“C’mon,” Mary giggles, and you realize you've been swimming in your own thoughts, drunker than you expected to be. She leads the way, fearlessly dashing onto the street as you and Theo stumble behind. You can see headlights making their way towards you, but they’re far enough away and you cross safely.

As soon as the car passes, and the street is shrouded in darkness again, you see him. The guy in the dark jacket is crossing too, a little ways down the road, hands buried in his pockets, head bowed towards the ground.

Instantly his presence sets you on high alert, your stomach feeling uneasy and heart palpitating. Theo and Mary are already headed through the hotel doors and you follow behind them, praying the guy hasn’t seen you. He was far enough down the street that it didn’t seem like he was coming to the hotel, but you can’t shake the fear that there’s a sinister connection between the way Mary and Theo said he couldn’t take his eyes off of you and the way you were both headed in the same direction. 

The hotel lobby is warm and glowing, and despite the late hours there are still people bustling about. You usher Mary and Theo away from the doors under the guise of trying not to block anyone’s way. You check over your shoulder in a fit of paranoia, but there’s no strange man in a dark jacket to be seen through the glass. You breathe a small sigh of relief.

“I need to go back up to the room,” Mary announces, and you see she’s examining herself in the black screen of her phone. “My makeup’s smeared everywhere.”

“I’m sure mine is too,” You agree. “Let’s head up there real quick.”

“I’m gonna go have a smoke, then,” Theo says, “So just come meet me out there when you’re done. Don’t take forever!”

You and Mary promise not to take too long before heading for the elevators, unsteady on your feet and overly giggly.

You realize that Mary was right as one of you finally gets the room key to work, and you both dash to fix yourselves up as quick as you can. You didn’t feel the slightest bit tired, and instead you were actually excited to keep the night going. Maybe it was just the alcohol pumping through your veins, but you felt a sudden surge of gratefulness for her as you dabbed away a bit of smeared mascara from your under eye.

“You were right,” you say out loud. 

Mary is leaned over the bathroom sink next to you, and you watch her eyebrows furrow. “About what?”

“Tonight,” You say, grabbing for your hairbrush. San Diego humidity has made your hair resemble a frizzy bird’s nest, and you try to smooth it back out. “It’s just got that kind of vibe, you know? You were right about needing a round two.”

“Right?” Mary gestures with her hands, makeup sponge almost hitting you in the face. 

“You’re good at getting me out of my comfort zone,” You admit. 

“Exactly!” Mary seems overjoyed at this admission, and she turns to you, putting her hands on your shoulders. “That’s what best friends are for! That’s my fucking job! And I’m fucking good at it!”

You two realize how drunk you sound and burst out laughing, steadying yourselves on the marble counter.

“Okay, okay,” You say as you start to catch your breath, “C’mon, Theo’s waiting!”

“Ah, fuck him,” Mary jokes, gathering up her things and shoving them back into her purse before following you out into the hall.

“Speaking of,” Mary groans, before bringing her phone up to her ear. “Hi, babe!” She chirps happily, before rolling her eyes at you. You can’t stifle your laughter.

“We’re headed downstairs right now,” Mary confirms as she pushes the call button on the elevator. “Okay, we’ll come to you.”

Down in the lobby, you two navigate your way out of the hotel and around the corner of the building, based on the instructions Theo had given Mary on the phone.

“Hey,” Mary greets Theo when she rounds the corner. You’re right behind her, but when you turn the corner you stop in your tracks.

“Hey, guys,” Theo greets you both easily. Mary is tucking herself under his arm while another figure standing next to him watches. You recognize the dark jacket instantly, and your mouth goes dry. 

You realize you’re an awkward distance away from your friends, and force yourself to step closer, watching the other man take a puff of his cigarette. 

“This is Van,” Theo tells you both, taking a drag of his cigarette. He exhales before motioning between you two. “Van, this is Mary, my girlfriend, and this is Y/N, her best friend.” 

“Ah, Mary, that’s me mum’s name,” the british accent that comes out of the stranger startles you, and you watch as Van reaches his hand out for a handshake with Mary. “Lovely name,” He laughs. Mary takes his hand happily, and they laugh about her name for a brief moment before he’s suddenly turned to you.

“And Y/N, that’s a great name too,” You can see his grin in the darkness. “Don’t know anyone named that, but it’s a lovely name regardless.” He extends his hand to you, and you swallow thickly as you take it. His hand envelops yours, and there’s a warmth that lingers even after the handshake is done.

“So’s Van,” You say after you’ve realized how impolite your silence must seem. “Never met anyone with that name either.”

“Yeah, It’s after Van Morrison,” He quips, “But when I was born my name was Ryan. Bet you’ve met someone with that name.”

“Ugh, don’t remind me,” Mary speaks up suddenly. You smile at the mention of an ex-fling.

“Bad associations, huh?” Van seems to find it funny, beaming at her. “Well everyone calls me Van, so hopefully that’ll be alright.”

“Anyway, before you guys walked out, I was just telling Van that he should join us tonight,” Theo chimes in. “Wouldn’t that be fun?”

“Yeah!” Mary, of course, is all for the idea even as your stomach continues to do somersaults. How strange was it that this guy actually was headed for the hotel? And even more strange that he ended up chatting with Theo!

Thankfully nobody notices your silence as Van tries to brush off the invite, Theo and Mary playfully pressuring him into it.

“Please!” Mary begs, “It’ll be so fun. It’s Y/N’s birthday, so the more the merrier!”

Van turns back toward you, face still covered in the grin that hasn’t left from the moment he shook your hand.

“Is it really?” He inquires, cocking his head.

“Tomorrow, technically,” You explain. “As in, it’s past midnight right now, so there’s all of today, and then it’s my birthday.”

“Oh, cheers, happy birthday. How old are ya?”

“Gonna be 24.”

“Ah, I loved 24,” Van lights up, taking a puff of his cigarette before gesturing with his hands. “One of the best years ever. Had the best fucking time.”

“How old are you, then?” You can’t help but ask.

“‘M 26. Gonna be 27 in the summer.”

“Oh. You made it sound like you were way older. Scared me.” The nagging anxiety that he’s some murderer that’s stalking you still tugs at your chest, but something about him keeps the conversation flowing, you volunteering information without thinking about it. 

“Nah. Seems like forever ago, though.”

“So you’ll get drinks with us?” Mary cuts in excitedly. 

“Well, I guess that’s up to the birthday girl,” Van laughs, gesturing to you. “Am I invited to the party?”

All of the sudden Theo, Mary, and Van are looking at you expectantly, and what were you supposed to do then?

“I mean, why not?” You can’t help but laugh, more in disbelief at how this night is turning out. “Like Mary said, the more the merrier, right?” 

“Mary’s are always right,” Van nods in agreement. Him and Theo snuff out their cigarettes on the sidewalk before heading around the corner back towards the main doors. 

You and Mary lag behind, Mary silently clapping in encouragement and you widening your eyes in an attempt to portray your anxiety. 

“You said I was right about tonight!” She hisses as you two head through the front doors. 

“About having more drinks!” You hiss back. “He’s some weirdo that’s been watching me all night and then followed me to the hotel!” You glance around for him, worried he heard, but thankfully you spot him with Theo heading into the hotel bar.

“Because you’re both at the same hotel and went across the street for drinks?” Mary asks, dubious. “He seems super nice!”

Your conversation dies out as you follow the boys to the table. It’s a small four-seater nestled in the corner, and with Mary naturally sitting next to Theo that leaves you next to Van.

In a quick motion Van’s grabbed the back of your chair from where he’s sitting, pulling it out for you.

“Oh, thanks,” You tell him, taken aback as you sit down.

“No problem,” He says casually, turning back towards Theo and continuing their conversation. You and Mary make eye contact, her eyes widening in what you can tell is pure delight.

“Let’s grab drinks,” Mary announces suddenly, hand coming to rest on Theo’s arm. He goes with her easily, leaving you and Van alone for a moment.

“I never get used to this kind of thing,” Van says. He turns toward you, but he’s looking past you at the rest of the bar. “Places being so busy at night.”

“That’s L.A. for you,” You sigh. “I guess technically we aren’t in L.A. right now, though. But still.”

Van nods in understanding. “Are you from L.A?”

“No,” You shake your head. “I’m from the midwest. From a much, much smaller town. But I live in L.A.”

“Ah. I’ve got a place there, too,” He tells you.

“Obviously you’re not from there,” You say, unable to help the smile that makes its way onto your face at the unspoken joke.

Van’s signature grin is back. “Obviously not,” He laughs. “Nah, I’m from somewhere much, much smaller, too. From the U.K., obviously.”

“Obviously,” You echo him, and you two share a smile before drinks are being set on the table, Mary and Theo having returned.

“So, Van,” Mary begins as she hands out everyone’s drinks. Van must’ve told Theo what he wanted, because there’s one for him that he accepts graciously. “What brings you to San Diego?”

“I’m in a band, actually. We’re called Catfish and the Bottlemen,” Van admits, taking a sip of his beer. “We’re on tour right now. Had a show here tonight.”

“No way! Where did you guys play?”

“The House of Blues.”

Mary sputters on her drink. “Holy shit!”

Van laughs, taking another sip. “Yeah, it was fucking incredible.”

“Sounds amazing,” Mary agrees. “We’ll have to check you guys out!”

“Yeah, for sure,” Van nods eagerly. “Y/N was just sayin’ she lives in L.A., next time we’re around there I could get you guys some tickets.”

“That’d be perfect,” Mary beams at him. 

“You’re up late!” You can’t help but blurt out. You’d checked your phone while Mary and Van were talking, and it’s closer to morning than you thought.

You realize everyone at the table is looking at you and clear your throat, putting your phone face down back on the table. “I just mean, aren’t you exhausted? After doing a whole show?”

“Nah,” Van shrugs. “It’s such a rush, the adrenaline keeps me going after. I can’t just head back to the hotel and go to sleep. Keeps my heart pumping, you know?”

You nod, even though you can’t personally identify with the experience. Just like that, any awkwardness from your random exclamation is soothed away from Van’s laid-back response, and as conversation continues to flow easily again you can’t help but marvel at his charisma. Maybe Mary was right about him not being a potential murderer.

Van’s the first to notice when everyone’s low on drinks, and politely offers to go grab another round. Everyone else had been too preoccupied in their current discussion, which consisted of questioning Van on the different aspects of U.K. culture and stereotypes. 

“Y/N, go help him,” Mary tells you, peering at you over the rim of her almost-empty glass. You blush and roll your eyes, but you listen. 

Van’s already standing at the bar, so you try to strategize the least awkward way to come up behind him. Thankfully, he sees you out of the corner of his eye, turning towards you and giving you a small smile.

“Hey,” You start nervously, leaning on the countertop next to him. “Just thought you could use some help carrying this stuff back.”

“I could, actually,” Van smiles gratefully. “I ordered it before I realized there were four of us. Was kinda hoping you’d be the one to come help.”

You blush at his words, but try desperately not to read too much into it. “Sorry,” You say suddenly, and Van’s head cocks in confusion.

“About us grilling you back there,” You explain. “I’m sure you get those questions all the time. It’s probably annoying.”

Van’s easy-going shrug makes another appearance while you two watch the bartender mix up your drinks.

“I don’t mind,” He replies. “You guys are proper funny. Anything you wanna know, I’m happy to tell ya.”

You breathe a sigh of relief, another potentially awkward moment dissolving.

Midway through his beer, Van starts shouldering on his coat, which had been hanging on the back of his chair. Your stomach sinks as you realize this is probably his way of saying goodbye. 

“Gonna head out for a smoke,” He tells the table, then nods to Theo. “You need one?”

“Nah, I’m good,” Theo declines, but there’s an edge to his voice that sounds like he’s being dishonest. You mull over why he just wouldn���t go have one when Mary pipes up.

“Y/N, you look like you need some air.”

Your eyebrows shoot up. “What?”

Van hesitates where he’s been pushing his chair back in.

“You’ve been yawning,” Mary explains, and her eyes widen at you for just a quarter of a second, trying to convey an urgent message. “Go get some fresh air.”

You can already feel your stomach tying itself in knots at the idea of being alone with Van. It was one thing to enjoy easy conversation with him in a group setting, never mind how he’s had to iron out your awkwardness more than once. It was a whole other thing to go pester him when you’re sure he wanted a minute alone. You stay frozen in your seat.

“Can’t have you yawning,” Van says from behind you, and you feel the back of his hand brush your shoulder playfully. “C’mon.”

You swallow hard but give in to the peer pressure, slowly rising from your seat. You glare at Mary before you turn to Van, who nods his head towards the door as you two head out together.

It’s a silent walk outside and around the corner, to the same spot you’d first met Van in just a couple hours prior. He fishes a box of cigarettes out of his coat pocket and pops one into his mouth, offering the open box to you.

“You smoke?” He inquires.

“No,” You tell him, and he goes to put the box back. “But gimme one,” You say quickly.

Van doesn’t question it, offering the box to you again. You pick one and Van fishes out a lighter. 

“Ladies first,” He hums around his cigarette, and offers the flame of his lighter to you. Once your cigarette is lit he lights his own, and you watch him visibly relax as he takes his first drag.

Off the top of your head, you figure it’s been at least a year since you’ve had a cigarette. You’ve never done it as a habit, but you’re not opposed to having one on occasion, especially on nights like these when your nerves were making you crawl out of your skin. The taste isn’t pleasant, but it’s familiar, and it soothes you.

“I’m sorry about them,” You apologize after you two have had a moment of peace and quiet. “They’re being… obnoxious.”

Van tips his head back, exhaling a puff of smoke and laughing at the same time. “Ah, don’t be. I love ‘em.”

“That makes one of us,” You joke, soliciting another laugh from Van.

Silence lapses over you two, and it leaves too much space for you to realize how attractive he is, sneaking glances at his face the way you have been all night. You catch him looking at you and quickly divert your eyes down to the pavement. But when you look back up, he’s still looking.

“You know, if they’re really buggin’ you…” Van’s voice is quiet, but it cuts through the soft background noise of the street. He gives another one of his shrugs, as if what he’s about to say next isn’t important. “We could head back up to my room,” He finishes.

Your stomach squeezes, sending any butterflies in there into an absolute frenzy. You stare at him in absolute shock as you try to process what he’s said. 

“Or your room, if you prefer,” He tacks on, punctuating his offer with an inhale of his cigarette. 

As he smokes you remember your own cigarette and take a puff from it, buying yourself time to try and weigh your options. It was hard to think rationally with your heart about to pound out of your chest, but in general the more the possibility turned over in your mind, the more your mind ticked off reasons it was a good idea; You were attracted to him, and if anything went wrong, you’d be in the safety of the hotel. Plus, besides for the fake-stalking incident you overreacted about, he hasn’t triggered one red flag, which is more than you can say about any date you’ve had in the past year.

“Well, considering we’re sharing a room,” You start, exhaling smoke, “it’s probably best if we go back to yours.”

Van laughs at that, tipping his head back to rest against the brick wall. “My room it is.”

You both finish up your cigarettes with a poignant silence hanging between you. It makes your mouth go dry and your hands shake, nerves getting the best of you, and you conceal it the best you can from Van, who seems cool as a cucumber. He’s looking at you openly now, desire written clearly on his face, and it feels like the temperature outside is rising when you meet his gaze. 

“Ready to head back in?” He asks, done with his cigarette first, stomping it out.

You follow suit. “Yeah.”

Van keeps pace with you as you two head back into the hotel walking side-by-side, his hands buried in his pockets. He gets the lobby door for you, gesturing dramatically, and you laugh, feeling some of your anxiety melt away.

“I have to grab my bag,” You tell him as you two head for the elevators, which is past the hotel bar. “And tell them where I’m going.”

“Course,” Van replies, letting you lead the way to the bar.

You turn to him just as you’re about to walk in. “What’s your room number?”

A slight smile tugs at the corners of his lips. “337,” He tells you.

He hangs back as you head to the table, the gravity of what you’re about to tell Mary and Theo finally hitting you. 

“Hey guys,” You say nervously as you approach. They’re wide-eyed and silent, obviously curious about how your moment alone with Van had gone.

“So, I’m gonna head up to his room,” You explain slowly, grabbing your bag off of the seat of your chair. “He’s in room 337 in case I go missing.”

“No way!” Mary exclaims, and you see her peering around your body towards where Van is standing. “I can’t fucking believe this!”

“Are you guys gonna be okay without me?” You ask. You’re mostly kidding, but there’s an edge to your voice. “I mean, this is for my birthday and all, so if you wanted me to stick around I-”

“Oh my god,” Mary says, exasperated, but she’s grinning. Theo is too. “Shut up and go! Get on with it!” She makes an exaggerated shooing gesture with her hands, before she mimes pushing you away from the table.

“Remember to use a condom!” Are her parting words as you head back to where Van’s leaned against the wall by the entrance.

“Like I said…” You say as you approach, knowing he’s seen the entire exchange even if he couldn’t hear it. He’s beaming, and when you look over your shoulder you see Theo and Mary giving you both a thumbs up, waving you away. “...Sorry about them.”

Van doesn’t seem bothered in the slightest, leading the way to the elevator. It’s pretty late, the amount of people awake at this hour starting to become sparse, so the elevator comes immediately when Van calls it. Predictably, he lets you on first before he trails behind, punching the button for his floor.

The wait for the elevator to make it to the third floor is about as awkward as it usually is, maybe a little less considering there were no strangers in your breathing space. You flip through your phone even though it’s got no service and nothing will load, and Van opts to gaze around, looking lost in thought. When the elevator comes to a halt and the doors slide open, Van presses his hand to the seam of the doors so you can safely exit before he follows.

“Do you always let everyone go first?” You can’t help but ask as he leads you down the hall and around a corner.

“Um,” He seems confused at the question as he pats his pockets, clearly looking for the room key. “I mean, it’s different with my mates, but usually I do. Is that not something you do here?”

“Holding the door? Yeah, sure, but I’ve never met anyone who does it as… consistently as you.”

Van’s found the key card in the inner pocket of his jacket, and he comes to a stop in front of room 337. 

“Raised with good manners, I guess,” Is his explanation as he gets the room unlocked. He turns the knob but still lets you in first, your bodies brushing slightly in the narrow doorway. It gives you goosebumps.

You don’t know what you were expecting to walk into, but you’re pleasantly surprised that his room is just like any other suite. It’s a bit more spacious than yours, but that’s due to the fact he’s only got one bed, a king bed that looks so soft it practically makes your eyes water. It’s still impeccably made, the entire room untouched except for his luggage arranged nicely by the room air conditioning unit.

“This room is nice,” He remarks from behind you after he’s put the chain on the door. “I haven’t been in here yet, not gonna lie, I was a little nervous about what we’d be walking in to.”

“Whose stuff is that?” You ask in confusion, pointing at the suitcases.

“Oh, that’s mine. Someone from the crew brings ‘em up.”

“I see,” You murmur, as Van shrugs his jacket off and slings it over the chair resting at the desk. 

“Want something to drink?” He asks, and when you look at him you notice there’s a gift basket resting on the desk, a corked bottle of wine and glasses perfectly arranged inside.

“Yeah, sure,” You agree, setting your purse down on the desk while he procures a corkscrew from the basket. 

“I’m gonna freshen up real quick,” You tell him as he goes about trying to open the bottle. You linger for just a moment, watching the way the tip of his tongue sticks out of his mouth in concentration and the fabric of his button up shirt strains over his arms before you walk away.

When you come back into the room Van’s sitting on the bed against the headboard, legs stretched out in front of him and crossed over each other. He’s messing around on his phone, and on each of the bedside tables there’s a full glass of red wine, Van’s with slightly less than yours.

“Jeez, at least take your shoes off,” You laugh, his black boots looking sorely out of place on the white duvet. He looks up at you, then, his gaze following you while you make your way to the empty side of the bed and take a seat. 

“Just my shoes?” He inquires, a mischievous smile appearing. But he sets his phone aside, leaning forward and unzipping his boots, chucking them off.

“And your socks, duh,” You joke, and he obeys, and soon his bare feet are exposed.

“That all?” He asks, the pitch of his voice lower than it’d been a second ago. It makes your heart skip a beat, and you swallow thickly.

In a sudden rush of boldness you reach over, giving the fabric of his button up a quick tug. “This too, maybe.”

“Ah, but it’s got so many buttons,” Van says in faux-concern. It’s so cheesy, and you can tell he knows it from the grin on his face, but you climb up onto your knees on the bed anyway. 

“I can help,” You try to keep a straight face while you say it, but a laugh manages to bubble up despite your best efforts. Still, it doesn’t stop you from completing the task, undoing his buttons only to reveal a black t-shirt underneath.

“Sort of anti-climactic,” You tell him. 

“S’ exactly why I needed help,” He tells you, leaning forward. “Two is just too much work.”

You slide your palms over his shoulders, easing the button up off of him. The slide of your hands against his arms is the first real skin-on-skin contact you’ve had, and the feeling of his smooth skin and soft hairs is strange and exciting. 

“There you go,” You hum, tossing the shirt away from the bed. There’s a moment of panic where you wonder if maybe he’s someone who’s particular about his clothes, and you could’ve just thrown some sort of priceless designer shirt on the floor like it was nothing. But from the way he’s looking at you it’s clear a shirt on the floor is the last thing on his mind, and you exhale in relief.

“Alright, round two,” You say quietly, but Van shakes his head.

“I’ve got this one,” He murmurs. “Just needed help with the buttons.” One of the corners of his mouth quirks up, and suddenly he’s pinched the hem of your shirt between his index finger and his thumb and given it a slight tug. “You worry about yours.”

You oblige, trying to get your top over your head as gracefully as possible. Van’s tugged his t-shirt off in record time, and you jump when you feel his cold hands help you get your shirt the rest of the way off.

Instinctually you go for his belt, starting to get into the rhythm of how these things go. He lays there quietly while you get it unbuckled and tuck your fingers against the warm skin of his stomach to unbutton his jeans, and tilts his hips up obediently so you can shimmy them down his legs. 

There’s a heavy moment where you take him in, laying back against the headboard in only his briefs. He’s got a smattering of dark hair no matter where you look; over his thighs, on his chest, in a thin line making its way under the waistband of his underwear. 

“No fair.” Van finally interrupts your gazing. “I’m the only one not wearing pants.”

It takes all your willpower to rip your eyes away from his form, but you stand up from the bed, unbuttoning and starting to peel your skin tight jeans off of your legs. He watches you the whole time, and you blame his gaze and your self-consciousness for throwing you off balance as you kick your pants off of your ankles, almost falling over.

Van is sitting up straight in a flash, his hand shooting out to steady you. It lands on your hip, his fingers digging into the skin right above your underwear, and you look up at him, gasping in a mix of mortification and surprise.

“Ya good?” Van asks quietly as you steady yourself.

“Yeah, yeah,” You assure him, although you can feel your face heating up from the blunder. Van withdraws his hand and it feels like the most frustrating thing in the world, your body screaming for more.

“Sorry,” You apologize nervously as you get back on the bed, making your way over Van’s long legs and settling down next to him.

Van seems amused at your apology. “No worries,” He assures you, turning his head so he’s facing you. His face is way too close, self consciousness burning through you as you two examine each other from mere inches away.

His hand comes to rest on your side again, this time landing on the skin right under the band of your bra, and before you can inevitably make the moment awkward by any means necessary he’s leaned in, and your lips melt together.

It’s a bit chaste, but definitely not the worst kiss you’ve ever received. After a few beats Van pulls away.

“Sorry,” He grunts, shifting his body weight. “This is such a weird way to sit. My arm’s getting crushed.” He tries to move himself from where he’s pinned his shoulder against the headboard in order to face you.

You make the snap decision in that moment to slide down from where you’re sitting so that you’re laying down.

“Here,” You tell him, “Let’s try it this way.”

From the way Van’s eyes travel up and down your body, you know he’s caught your drift. 

“Yeah,” He smirks, laying down next to you. With a few minor adjustments he’s got most of his body weight pressing you down onto the bed, his nose just barely brushing yours. “This might work a bit better.”

Then he’s kissing you again. You’ve already got the chills from the way his body is pressing tight against yours, but once the kiss deepens, Van’s tongue pressing into your mouth, you can’t help but shiver. Van feels it and must think you’re cold, because a second later his palm is rubbing over your arm like he’s trying to warm you up.

Any trace of chastity or awkwardness from the initial kiss has completely disappeared, revealing Van’s true talents as a kisser, and with every second that passes you feel him climbing up your makeout leaderboard. His mouth is absolutely incredible, and tastes like the glass of red wine he’s got sitting on the nightstand, and you can’t get enough, your hand instinctively coming to tangle in the hair at the nape of his neck. You don’t expect him to moan, the sound so satisfying your body reacts on it’s own, your back arching as much as it possibly can with him pressing you down. It only encourages Van, who exhales sharply out of his nose, the hot air brushing over your cheek, the kiss becoming more desperate.

You two separate to breathe, every inhale causing Van’s chest to brush against yours.

“Christ,” Van says quietly, and the way his voice is rough around the edges sends another shiver down your spine. He gets off of you, sitting up and reaching over for his glass of wine. You take the opportunity to sit up too, unclipping your bra and sending it over the edge of the bed. You cup your breasts in your hands, not yet ready for Van to see you exposed, but you work up some courage after a few moments, letting them go in favor of using your hands to shimmy out of your underwear. 

There’s the soft clink of Van setting his wine glass back down, and when you dare to glance over at him his expression is neutral, his eyes flitting over you.

“No fair,” You start, but have to stop to clear your throat. Van’s eyes dart up to meet yours, listening intently.

“I’m the only one naked,” You parrot his joke from earlier, and give him a nervous smile.

“Yeah,” Van’s long fingers come up to scratch at his jaw. “I guess that isn’t very fair.” Within a handful of seconds he’s chucked his briefs on the floor.

He changes position then so that he’s resting on his knees, and you hold your breath while you get a proper look at him for the first time. 

“Oh-” You start to speak, but you’ve got the common sense to swallow the rest of the sentence.

Van stills, waiting for you to finish.

“You’re… British,” You say sheepishly. 

Van chuckles, looking down at himself. “M’ uncut,” He voices your exact thoughts.

You gulp, nodding, hoping you didn’t ruin the moment.

“Same thing underneath,” Van murmurs, wrapping a hand around himself. With the slide of his wrist the foreskin moves back, revealing the flushed head of his dick. “See? Works just the same,” he quips cheerfully, looking up at you.

“Right.” You nod. “Good to know.”

The kissing resumes after you two lay down again and Van can’t keep his hands off of you, stroking at your sides and stomach and eventually your thighs.

“This alright?” He asks, pointedly brushing one of his knuckles against your inner thigh.

“Yeah, yeah” you choke out, spreading your legs so he’s got access to you.

The first press of his soft, tentative fingertips against you makes your eyes squeeze shut, but you can’t hold back your moan when he starts working in tight circles.

He teases his way lower and lower, the only sound in the room your harsh breathing and your heartbeat pounding in your ears. When he starts to feel his way inside, slowly and methodically easing in two fingers, your back arches up off of the mattress. 

“Van-” You breathe, and feel his stomach clench from hearing his name.

“You can just-” It’s hard to get the words out with the way he’s pumping. “You should stop,” You manage finally. “We can just get started.”

Van’s fingers still, and you blink your eyes open slowly, greeted to his face mere inches from yours, his hooded eyes watching you.

“Yeah, I…” You breathe out, your face burning in self consciousness at the thought of him watching your face throughout that. “I’m definitely ready.”

“If you’re sure,” Van says slowly, and you feel his fingers slide out of you, leaving an awful empty feeling in their wake.

“Definitely sure,” You tell him, eager to feel full again. “Do you want me to…” You trail off, but Van understands the unspoken rest of your sentence.

“Probably best if you don’t,” He laughs quietly. “It’ll be over before things even get started.”

You nod against the pillows in understanding, and Van rolls over, hanging off of the edge of the bed for a moment until he rights himself, leather wallet in hand.

You watch him procure a condom from one of the folds, and then he’s getting up on his knees, shuffling so he’s in between your legs before ripping the wrapper and sliding it on.

“You settled? You ready?” He asks you, one hand on himself, the other resting on your hip, warm and reassuring. 

“Yeah,” You tell him, nervously adjusting the way your knees are bent.

“Alright,” Van says quietly, and it sounds like it’s more meant for himself. There’s a few quiet moments and the sound of the duvet rustling before you feel the head of him press against you, warm and persistent, and your body adjusts for him instinctively, letting him inside.

It’s been a while since the last time you’ve had sex, but thankfully the warm mix of attraction and your drinks from earlier leave your body relaxed. Van looks like he feels the same, any tension in his face dissolving as he eases in, replaced instead by what looks like pure relief. You feel it too, sighing contentedly.

When Van’s done pressing in, the heady feeling making it hard to breathe, you two make eye contact, the spell that had you two so engrossed in yourselves broken. 

“Good?” He asks, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Good,” You affirm. “Now get going.”

You say the last part with a smile that Van returns, and without further ado he starts trying to find the rhythm. He tests a few out while you shift your hips, attempting to find the perfect angle, and after a moment there’s a palpable feeling that you two have gotten it right, punctuated by Van’s sharp intake of breath.

The sound catches you off guard, in sync with another push in, and you gasp in surprise, one of your hands reaching out to grasp at the blankets. It only encourages Van to stay persistent in his thrusts, and you can’t help but groan.

“God,” You croak out. You release your death grip on the blankets, instead putting your hand on his back. You’re careful not to scratch him, but the feeling of him fucking you is amplified with the way you can feel his muscles strain under your hand. “Van,” You breathe.

You kept it quiet, the remnants of your usual self-consciousness still floating around in your head, but you can tell he’s heard.

“Ah, fuck,” Van moans, long and low, and your other hand comes up to grasp at him wherever it can reach as you feel the steady pulse of sparks down your spine.

Your hand lands on his shoulder blade, and it’s as if you’ve given Van some sort of unspoken permission. He leans forward, your lips meeting in a wet and clumsy kiss. It’s more panting in each other’s faces than it is actual making out, but your hand still slides from his shoulder to his jaw, taking care of guiding the kiss while he’s in his distracted state.

You can feel him starting to come apart, missing a beat with his hips every so often and letting out a whine when you take charge of deepening the kiss, tilting his jaw with slightly more force than necessary so you can lick into his parted lips. You’re getting close too, so you decide to let go of his face, instead slipping a hand between your bodies so you can start to rub at yourself.

Van’s head sinks down to your neck, kissing at any skin he can reach while you cry out at all the sensations your body’s trying to take in at once.

There’s a shift of Van’s body weight, his lips leaving your neck. You want to yell at him for taking his lips off of you but you’re too preoccupied with getting your fingers to match the pace he’s set, every moment in sync taking you closer to the edge.

Without any warning there’s the warm brush of the pad of his thumb against your nipple, and your whole body jolts with it.

You’re too distracted to moan but your jaw falls slack. That’s all the approval Van seems to need, starting a very light pace with his thumb, brushing over you back and forth.

“Is it good?” He asks quietly, lips brushing the shell of your ear.

You can hardly form a proper word with your mouth. “Huh?”

“This bit,” Van clarifies, and his thumb rubs your nipple more insistently. “Do you like that?”

“Yeah,” You manage, your eyes squeezing shut, closer than you thought. You can sense that Van understands the gravity of the moment, his movements all becoming very precise and impeccably consistent.

“Don’t stop,” You can’t help but beg.

“Won’t,” Van assures you quietly, and he holds true to his word, fucking into you and circling your nipple without fail as you feel your orgasm start to crash down upon you, squirming and calling out through the entire thing.

You lay there catching your breath when you’re done, Van free to set his own rhythm to get himself to the finish line. He speeds up, setting a frantic pace that you can hear as your skin slaps together with his. 

“What do you need?” You slur, removing your hand from yourself in favor of rubbing over his back again.

“Nothin’,” Van answers, his voice tight and slightly higher-pitched. “Nothin’.”

You stay quiet, leaving him to it, and after a few ragged breaths you can feel the way his whole body goes rigid, thrusting fast but shallow as he rides out his climax, burying his head in your shoulder and biting down hard.

You yelp in surprise from the pinch of his teeth, but let him stay there until he’s done, when he releases you with a long, content sigh.

There’s nothing said as you two catch your breath, your brain attempting and failing to find words for the experience.

“Shit,” Van sighs after your breathing has slowed.

“Holy shit,” You agree. You’ve been looking up at the ceiling, but you turn to look at him. The angry red indent from his teeth against your shoulder catches your peripheral vision, and you crane your neck more fully, examining the crooked lines of his teeth pressed into your skin.

“Sorry,” Van says. “I didn’t mean to hurt ya.”

It’s so refreshingly sincere, so different from the few other apologies you’ve received from men during sex, their smug faces usually indicating their value for their pleasure over yours. You actually laugh.

“Totally fine,” You tell him, and you mean it.

Van heaves himself up from where he’d flopped down, half on top of you and half on the bed, and carefully pulls out, the sensation of the heavy condom sliding out of you making you cringe. You watch his long fingers tie it off before he clamors off of the hotel bed on shaky legs, depositing it in the garbage by the coffee maker before nipping off to the bathroom.

“Ugh,” You sigh, starfishing out your limbs on the empty bed.

“Do you care if I don’t go back to my room right this second?” You ask Van as soon as he emerges from the bathroom.

“Whatever you wanna do,” Van shrugs. As he approaches his side of the bed he starts to tug the duvet down. “At least get under the sheets with me.”

You shimmy your way under the sheets, your body melting with the heavenly feeling.

“Mind if I shut the lamp off? It’s starting to give me a headache shining in my eyes.” He asks.

You dismiss his concerns with a wave of your hand. “Go ahead.”

With a click the room is shrouded in darkness, the only exception being the blue glow of Van’s phone.

You yawn. “What time is it?”

“Five.”

“Are you not tired?” You ask him around another yawn. “Even after your show and everything?”

His smile looks tired. “My body’s on a different time.”

“Oh.” You curl up under the covers. “I’ll go in a second, I promise. I’m just fucking exhausted. Unlike you.”

Van snorts in amusement, but you miss his facial expression, your heavy eyelids falling shut.

\\

You wake up to the echo of running water and the glow of the lamp painting your eyelids red.

You squirm, tugging the blanket around your head so you can peacefully return to sleep, but as you start to doze off the water abruptly stops, and you can hear the clatter of Van getting out of the shower.

Soon he comes out of the bathroom, singing softly under his breath as you hear the rip of different zippers through the air.

You kick your legs out, shuffling around sleepily. “What time is it?”

“Seven thirty. Sorry if I woke you. I was trying to let you get a couple hours of sleep in.”

“Did you sleep at all?” You ask him, concerned, as you peer over where he’s bent in front of a suitcase, hair dripping wet and a white hotel towel wrapped around his waist.

“I slept for a good hour,” He shrugs, before he’s gotten what he needs and heads back into the bathroom. “Probably steal a couple more on the bus.”

“Where are you headed next?” You can’t help but ask, raising your voice so he can hear you from the other room. 

“Got no idea, to be honest,” Van tells you. He stands in the bathroom doorway, in the process of running a brush through his hair. “That’s a good question for Steve, actually.”

“Our tour manager,” He’s quick to tack on after he notices your blank stare. “He keeps track of our schedule.”

“Oh.” It’s the only thing you can think to say.

“I guess I should get going,” You say awkwardly after a moment of silence. “I didn’t even mean to fall asleep, sorry. I haven’t stayed up that late in forever.”

Van seems to think that’s funny, giving a quick laugh as he goes for something else in his bag.

“God, my contacts are so dry,” You complain, rubbing at your eyelids in hopes of clearing the foggy film clinging to your vision. It doesn’t work, and you flop back down onto the hotel bed, sighing as you try to gather the willpower to get up and get your things.

“What shirt size do you wear?” Van asks.

You tell him, and after a moment feel a soft thud of something landing on the bed. You sit up to see a rumpled lump of fabric.

“One of our shirts,” Van explains. 

You grab the gift, holding it up to examine it. “Um… What is it?”

Van lets out a belly laugh at that. “It’s our next album cover.”

“Oh, alright. Thanks,” You tell him, sliding it on immediately. It feels weird to still be naked, and you’re grateful you don’t have to get into the tight top you were wearing last night.

You go through the process of retrieving all your scattered clothes from the night before, made less awkward by the fact Van is preoccupied with getting himself ready. You cram your bra and top into your purse before shimmying back into your skintight jeans and getting your shoes on.

You do a quick once-over, making sure you’ve grabbed everything as Van pulls a fresh button up over his shoulders.

“You, uh,” He starts hesitantly. When you look over, he wipes underneath one of his eyes with the tip of his finger. “You look like you’ve got a black eye.”

You realize in that moment you’d rubbed at your contacts while you were still wearing makeup. “Oh, fuck,” you groan, heading into the bathroom and trying to clean up the mess. “Thanks for letting me know. Mary probably would’ve been worried.”

“Wouldn’t want Theo catching me in the lobby,” Van jokes, and you two laugh for longer than what was probably warranted.

“I was wonderin’, before you go, if I could get your number. For those tickets the next time we’re playing in L.A..”

“Oh, definitely,” You say, extra enthusiastic to assure him of your interest.

There’s a knock at the door, and you hear Van answer it, talking to someone for a moment.

“Got interrupted for a second,” Van tells you, and when you come into the room you see he’s loading his luggage onto a bellman cart. “But perfect. Lemme grab my phone.”

He retrieves his phone off of the bed, typing into it for a moment before he offers you a screen to enter your contact information.

“And y’know, the next time I’m staying in L.A. I’d love to have dinner.”

He says it so casually, no trace of nerves even as the question hangs in silence.

“Me too,” You offer him a smile as you hand his phone back, a satisfied look spreading over his face. “I’d love that.”

“It’s settled, then,” Van punctuates the deal with a nod, walking you to the room’s door and undoing the deadbolt for you.

“Alright. Well, see ya?” You offer as a goodbye, internally cringing.

“See ya,” Van echoes, swinging open the heavy wooden door for you. “Hopefully sooner rather than later.”

With that you step out into the hallway, Van shutting the door softly behind you. You hadn’t realized how awake the outside world was while you were safely cocooned in Van’s quiet room; There are a few doors open, the smell of hotel room service wafting around. There’s a luggage cart supporting a mismatched stack of suitcases that’s haphazardly rolled so it’s blocking a doorway, and you startle when the door behind the cart swings open. 

There’s a deer-caught-in-headlights moment between you and the man in the room, before he examines the obstacle.

“Jesus Christ, Bond,” The man groans, struggling to roll the cart out of his way. “It’s too early for this!”

You hear a deep chuckle come from one of the open doorways, before a man in a newscap sticks his head out into the hall. “C’mon, Blakes, food’s here! I got you your ice cold oatmeal and raw eggs in a cup, just as requested.”

The man in the hat notices you standing here, and you watch the way his eyes latch onto the t-shirt Van’s given you. But he’s gone just as soon as he appeared, and you head for the elevators despite the nagging feeling you should’ve helped the guy that was barricaded.

Once you’re on the elevator, you realize with a start that you’d just unknowingly met two of Van’s bandmates. 

\\

As quiet as you try to be, of course Mary wakes up as soon as you slip into your shared room.

“How did it go?” She stage whispers, and you notice Theo’s still asleep.

“It was…” You take a deep breath. You knew these questions were coming, and had tried to properly prepare for them, but you still couldn’t comprehend last night.

“Incredible,” You eventually settle on.

Mary’s face lights up at that. “What’d you guys do?”

You chew on the inside of your cheek, trying to hide your smile.

“Did you fuck him?” She asks. “Please tell me you fucked him.”

As hard as you try to conceal it, your smile widens.

Mary gasps. “You did, didn’t you?”

When you nod, Mary leaps off of her and Theo’s bed, sitting cross legged in her sleep shirt on yours. 

“Tell me everything!” She begs.

“Hold on,” You shush her. “Let me get out of these damn jeans. And take my contacts out.”

“I can’t believe it,” Mary muses to herself as you peel the denim back off of your skin. “I can’t believe you’ve finally had your first one night stand.”

“Me either,” You admit, screwing the lid on your contact case closed.

“How was he?”

“Amazing. So nice,” You gush, sitting down on the bed with her. “It’s like, no matter how awkward I was, he just thought it was funny! It was the weirdest thing ever!”

You recount most of last night’s details back to Mary, making sure to include the part where you almost fell over, awkwardly called out the fact he was uncircumcised, and almost left his room with racoon eyes before meeting two of his bandmates in the strangest circumstance. You talk until your throat is dry and you’re exhausted, climbing under the covers to resume the peaceful sleep you’d been in the process of getting in Van’s bed.

\\

The next day you get a text from a phone number you don’t recognize while you’re out shopping.

Happy birthday. Van x

Thank you, you send back, but there’s no reply.

\\

Read Chapter 2 here

[siren07tucker]

Incorrect quotes  it’s for the kids because I can

Big brother AU is made by @petrichormeraki I am just a motherfucker that decides to continuously forces children into existence because I don’t have a life! :)

Grumbot: we are all made out of Adams and Adams never touch. so no papa I did not just drop kick my brother.

Grian: I am both proud of you and disappointed at you... you’re only half grounded don’t do this again! 

-

Tommy just tied pink B to a ceiling fan!: A potato flew around my room! 

Tommy turned the fan speed up: Holy shit!

-

Tango: I want to see my little girl!

Impulse and Zedaph: here she comes!

Tango but louder: I want to see you my little girl!!

Tizzy waddling in because she’s like two: here I am!

-

Dream waiting for whoever the hell is the main character to come and fight him: finally you have arrived- what the fuck are you wearing?

Theo wearing a sleeping beauty costume! make up and all : it’s my ass kicking outfit bitch

-

Symphony: I want to adventure in the great widesomewhere!

Ghostber: you can do it right now no one stopping you? (you’re like 16?) 

Symphony: but not today because I am tired!

-

Djali singing to Grumbot: I can’t believe it’s finally just me and you!... and your friend jiggles! Do do do!  jiggles?

-

 OK but here’s an actual question how was the new bedding go like tizzy was originally the top dog on who was born the weirdest but then we have Theo aunt Symphony and ... kids that I still need to come up with more concepts for... I feel like symphony would win just like

Tizzy: now new guys I know it might be hard to compete with me but-

Symphony: my dad fucked a tree... but I am a ram duck hybrid? But I have the mental instability of my dad? And apparently I have a half brother who’s mom is a salmon and my half brother fuck a green screen and they have a kid which is technically my nephew? And apparently my grandma is a Samsung refrigerator? And let me tell you I might be only 16 or however age I’m at but I have consumed 15 bottles of wine! To try to finish a project from second grade where I had to drop family tree!

Tizzy:... OK new betting pool who has the most fucked up family tree! 

[bespectacledbun]

What is in Arthur, Sasuke, Mousse, and Charles that you super love about them?

GASPPPP I LOVE THIS ASK SO MUCH OMG 💕💕💕 it’s gonna be a long post so I’m putting it under the cut sjdjfkg 

if you don’t want eng/jp spoilers for any of the guys, please don’t read!! that is my warning for this post, so if you decide to click anyway and then complain I put spoilers, I will laugh in your face ✌🏽😚

Sasuke – where do I even begin with this boy??? He’s caught my eye since day fucking one of ikesen when I downloaded it and I was so??? excited??? because 1) holy SHIT we get a meme-y best friend and 2) he’s?? a ninja??? and  I got into this game when I was 16 and I was like THIS IS THE ONE I WANT HIM. I’ll admit, the first thing I liked about his character was that he wore glasses (gotta stay on brand yo) but when we got to see more content of Sasuke in the other routes and in the events I just…slowly fell in love with him and all his quirks. The way he could reference memes with such a straight face. His enthusiasm for history and the warlords. The ninja jokes. The way he couldn’t wink. The more stories he featured in, the more I started loving him (@under-sengoku-skies knows how much I’ve rambled about Sasuke in our dms)

The first story event he featured in, Lord vs Vassal, his story side was him taking the MC on a stargazing date and they saw shooting stars from Azuchi’s roof and I just… The way I felt reading that is indescribable. As a history nerd and space geek myself, I loved his jokes, and the way he thought that his and MC’s meeting was designed by fate is just. I couldn’t help but fall in love with that, y’know? The idea that this man of science is such a romantic that he believed his meeting with MC wasn’t just a chance encounter, but it was arranged by destiny… I can’t think of anything right now except cute hdgahshfg.

And then when we got his route and I found out that he’s been waiting for FOUR YEARS and training all that time just to protect the MC it was like,,, the last piece of the puzzle clicked in. To wait all that time and constantly be there for MC in every single route and to protect her… everything Sasuke does has always been for MC (this is your reminder to go read Sasuke’s route if you haven’t done so already). So tldr, Local Sengoku Ninja is Actually a Romantic and Makes an Excellent Boyfriend

~

Mousse – So when Mousse first got released in…late 2018 iirc, I actually didn’t think much of him at first 😂 it’s funny, because at first all I knew was that he was the Sleeping Dormouse and a diplomat. So I didn’t have much of an opinion outside “oh cool, I wanna see what he looks like” right?? And then cybird dropped his character design and I was like. Shit. He’s actually kind cute?? So I think @ladygacha translated a few of his stories and his introduction story where he’s napping in the Civic Centre was released and I was like fuuuuuuuuuuuck. 

It’s kinda weird to explain but hdgajsd his hair is so fluffy and his general character design was just so appealing to me and then… I heard his voice. From that point on it was basically over for me ajsjdk I was WHIPPED. In 2019 his first birthday story released and he talks about how he fell in love with Alice at first sight and I was just g o n e HE’S REALLY SO CUTE IN HIS INTERACTIONS. It’s like what happened with Sasuke asdjfkajd I’m a sucker for “love at first sight” characters.

So when we got to see him in Zero’s route in English I was !!!! FINALLY I GET TO SEE MY BOI and holy SHIT, it was everything I could have wanted. The way he just called Zero out for not protecting Alice?? I was sold. Just his character and personality in general, the way he’s so passionate about other cultures and countries and the way his love towards Alice is so pure and genuine, it’s adorable, and I’m really excited to see more of him in English ajdfjgjajdf

~

Arthur – strap in because this is prolly gonna be so much longer than the other two ajsjdjfg. So funny thing, I liked Arthur before ikevamp got announced in English–before it was out even in jp, actually. For my 15th birthday, I had gotten a huge volume of Sherlock Holmes novels from my mother, and when I read them I LOVED the stories. I liked Sir Arthur Conan Doyle the mystery writer before I liked Arthur, the ikevamp suitor. So when I found out he was going to be a character I could date, needless to say, I was REALLY excited for his route and ikevamp in general.

To anyone who’s read Arthur’s route, remember the chapter where Theo explains that Arthur is scared of getting close to people because he’s afraid they’ll leave??? Yeah. That chapter was the biggest fucking callout for me because I’m a little like that too. I’ve always been afraid of being left so when I read that, I was like ‘oh shit, this hits too close to home for me’. I know the popular fandom portrayal is this fuckboi who just sleeps around and has -10 braincells, but there’s actually so much more to him than that, which is what made me fall for him in the first place. 

I’ll be honest, I was really disappointed with the first few chapter of his route because I knew that it wouldn’t go over well and. Well. I really wish that we didn’t have to have such a scene in the first place, but sadly I’m not the story writer for ikevamp 😔 I was a bit scared of how he’d be portrayed in the rest of the route, mainly because I wanted to like his character a lot. So when his route actually dropped and we got him entertaining children, and his confidence at games, and how his brogue slips out when he’s stressed or nervous–all of that made me feel ‘okay, so this isn’t so bad’. I liked that we also got to see the darker parts of his route and his trauma wasn’t just brushed over for the sake of romance. 

Also, Arthur is… really stupid. Like really stupid. He might be smart most of the times, but when he goes into Panic ModeTM or when his emotions are running high, he becomes rash and impulsive and does the first thing that comes to his head (much like myself, which was a callout I did Not appreciate). Like throwing himself under a knife for MC. Or buying her a music box to see her smile. The first time I got to his confession at the end of his route, and he said he got a note from MC and ran to the portal without even checking to see if it was actually from her I just. stared at my screen. like, How can you be so smart and yet be such an idiot at the same time??? I don’t know. I really don’t. Tl;dr, Arthur is a dumbass but he’s a lonely dumbass with a heart of gold and has some really soft event stories in jp (gap moe, anyone?), so please stan him hdgsjdhfg

~

Charles – Charles has literally only been out for a max of 4 months and yet, if anything happened to him I would shoot everyone in ikevamp and then myself. The funny thing is, NOBODY thought I would fall for Charles at first. Last December when they were releasing character designs for the new characters in ikevamp jp, all my friends tagged me for Faust because everyone, including me, thought I’d fall for the megane character. Then Charles waltzed in and wrecked my home and hearth and I was done for. 

Like Sasuke and Mousse, he’s one of those “love at first sight” characters, and in his first story he calls the MC cute and they go shopping together and I just *flails around* he’s so cute??? His character profile also says he’s starved for love and I just,,, in real life I would never stay with that kind of person but since he’s a fictional character, I can’t help but just want to stay with him Q_Q My friends like to tease me by saying all the guys I like have a sort of “puppy” personality ahshdjfg wheezes 

~

And that’s all of them!! If you came here expecting a coherent explanation, you’re asking the wrong guy my bro ajshdjf but please talk to me more about these boys I would gladly talk to anyone in my inbox 💖💖💖💖

[martinskis-lydias]

for i need your love

pairing: Scott x Stiles

word count: 1642

warnings: kidnapping but i don’t think it’s really that bad?? it’s not graphic and there’s no torture or anything

Scott had fallen in love with Stiles gradually. So much so that he hadn’t even realized he was in love with his best friend until it was too late. He couldn’t say what made him fall in love, or when it had started. Perhaps he’d always loved him, or maybe it had just gone from platonic, brotherly affection to head-over-heels adoration over the years.

It didn’t matter, not really. He was hopelessly in love with Stiles and that was that.

The thing about Stiles was that he had always been there, always helped, always trusted him, never made him feel guilty about his faults or his mistakes. And Stiles wasn’t perfect, not by a long shot, but he was everything Scott wanted.

And as cliché as it sounded, he wasn’t sure if it was worth telling Stiles. Not because he didn’t think love was worth risking everything for, he was a big believer in love being the most important thing. But he was terrified of the consequences that could come from this change.

What if he told Stiles and Stiles didn’t feel the same? What if it ruined their friendship, or worse, ended it completely? What if Stiles did feel the same but they ended up breaking up later?

He was just scared of the possibilities, and while he knew some of those possibilities could be good, could work out, he wasn’t sure if his friendship with Stiles was worth the risk.

So he hadn’t said anything. He hadn’t dated, he’d controlled the impulse to growl at anyone that flirted with Stiles, and he acted like he always had.

He played video games with Stiles, they hugged and bumped shoulders (they had always been tactile, even before Scott was bit), they called each other when Scott was off on a lead about the Hunters or Stiles was working a case, and they had each other’s backs.

Everything had been going great, just as he’d planned, until it wasn’t.

Scott had been in a motel with Liam, Argent in the room beside them, when Scott heard them. The telltale sound of soft, careful footsteps, the smell of wolfsbane and gunpowder. There were Hunters outside their doors.

“Liam,” Scott had whispered as quietly as possible. “Stay quiet and calm. Leave through the bathroom window. Get help. Go. Now.” He would have texted Argent but he wasn’t fast enough to get out in time.

Liam hadn’t argued, though Scott knew he’d really wanted to. Liam had been doing this enough to trust Scott, to know when he should stay and fight and when he should bide his time and get back up.

Scott was proud of how much he’d grown in the past couple years.

Seconds after Liam was out of the motel, the front door had been kicked in and Scott had been ready to fight. But then he’d felt the sting of a tranquilizer dart and had blacked out before the Hunters even came in focus.

The last thought he’d had: Well, fuck.

That was how he’d found himself here: in a dingy warehouse, chained to a chair, and listening to a few voices arguing on the other side of the building. They were too far away to understand what they were saying but he knew what arguing sounded like.

“Nice of you to join me,” Argent said beside him. He sounded bored, like he frequently woke up tied to a chair and with the possibility of death or torture incoming.

“I think they went a little overboard with the tranq,” Scott answered. “I still feel a little groggy. Amateurs?” He asked, hoping Argent had gotten a better look at them.

“I think so. I woke up as they were chaining you up and they didn’t seem to know what was enough to restrain you. They sound like they’re new to this, possibly trying to gain a little recognition by catching a True Alpha and a Traitor to the Cause,” Argent was smirking, Scott could hear it in his tone.

“I warned Liam just before they busted in, he’s getting help. I would have texted you but I didn’t hear them until it was too late,” Scott told him apologetically.

“I know, I heard them. I knew I wouldn’t be fast enough to get away. It’s good you got Liam out to get help. I have a feeling these guys will be tracked relatively easily,” Argent said. Scott nodded his agreement.

A few minutes later Scott heard the voices getting closer. He straightened up a little and he heard Argent do the same.

He didn’t know what he’d been expecting of these Hunters, but he was a little surprised. There were three of them, but Scott could hear two more heartbeats just beyond the doorway they’d walked through. The lookouts.

The three he could see looked pretty average, two guys in their mid-twenties flanking a girl who looked no older than twenty. Scott knew that a lot of people had learned about the supernatural in the few years since Monroe had fled Beacon Hills but it still shocked him every time he saw someone his age that wanted to kill him.

“Scott McCall,” the girl said his name with a mocking tone. “No offense but you aren’t exactly what I’d expected.”

Scott snorted at that, as he’d just thought the same thing about her. “Sorry to disappoint. What were you expecting exactly?”

She tilted her head slightly, sizing him up. “More of a stereotypical jock golden boy. You look more like the kind of guy that people fuck around with in college, lots of tattoos, motorcycle, ripped jeans and leather jacket. They puppy eyes are in line with expectations though,” she told him.

Argent snorted. They both knew that the expectation was more accurate than his appearance. He may have gotten more tattoos in the last couple years, but he was definitely not someone who had casual sex or someone who people “fucked around with.”

“And Chris Argent. I’ve heard so much about you,” the girl said, turning to look at Argent with contempt and disgust written all over her face. “You used to be a legendary Hunter, stories were told about you. But now… Here you are, the last of your family, a traitor to Hunters everywhere.”

“Scott is my family. And my family would be proud of who I am if they were here to see it,” Argent replied evenly. “The family whose opinion I care about, that is,” he adds.

Scott felt a surge affection for Argent, a twinge of sadness. The way he always felt when Argent reminded him they were family, when he remembered Allison.

The girl sneered at Argent. “You are just a huge disappointment, siding with this monster, working against everything your father believed in.”

“Sorry, I never caught your name,” Scott interrupted. He was bored of the bad guy monologue, the same shit that everyone said to him and Argent.

“I’m Angelica Grace,” she announced to Scott, as though he should applaud or bow to her. Like she was royalty and he should know who she was.

“Ah,” was his only response.

Angelica’s expression darkened. “You’re saying you’ve never heard of me?”

“Sorry, should I have?” Scott asked.

Before she could start a rant that he could see building up, there were a few gunshots, shouts, thuds, and then silence from the room the lookouts had been. Scott couldn’t see what had happened but he could hear five or six heartbeats in that room now.

Looks like the cavalry had arrived.

The two guys who had been silently lurking behind Angelica turned, shotguns in their hands. But nobody had come through the doorway yet.

“Well, Angelica, this has been swell,” Scott said, smirking.

“But I believe our ride is here,” Argent finished. Scott then heard Argent smash his chair on the concrete floor, freeing himself and immediately rushing the henchmen in front of him. At the same moment, their friends burst through the doorway, overwhelming Angelica and the other goon.

The Hunters were outnumbered and easily subdued. Malia, Liam, and Theo took their weapons and restrained them, while Lydia checked over Argent to make sure he hadn’t been injured too badly during the capture or when he’d broken the chair.

Scott noticed all this subconsciously, but he only had eyes for Stiles. And yes, he’s aware of what a cliché he is. Oh well.

Stiles was rushing towards him, panic and anger written all over his face, slowly being replaced by relief. Before Scott could say anything to reassure his best friend though, Stiles’ hands were in his hair and his mouth was otherwise occupied.

Scott was caught off guard for maybe half a second before he was kissing back enthusiastically, straining against the chains locking him to the chair. He wanted nothing more than to throw his arms around Stiles’ waist, put a hand on his chest to feel his heartbeat, run his fingers through Stiles’ hair.

Stiles pulled back after a few seconds that had felt like a lifetime. His cheeks were red and his eyes were bright.

Scott thought that he’d never looked so beautiful.

After a few seconds of both of them staring and breathing heavily Scott smiled, huge and bright.

“I love you,” Stiles breathed.

“Get me out of these chains and I’ll show you how much I love you, too,” Scott replied. He could hear how rough his voice was, he could also hear Malia, Liam, and Theo fake gagging, but he was concentrating on the shiver that made its way through Stiles before he rushed to unlock the chains that Lydia had found the keys for.

Maybe Scott didn’t know when he’d fallen in love with Stiles. It didn’t matter, not really. He was completely in love with Stiles and now he knew that Stiles loved him back.

[floorbed]

7 19 23 35 40 52 69 for The Jester and The Crimegirl

thank you so much bee omg i loved the questions u made sm!!! time for Them. this is super super long im sorry njdkkfkrenkjr

7. which party member do they understand the least?

for pen it is probably alba if he had to pick anyone? just because he can do Crazy Shit Sometimes. but pen still feels like he understands him v well!!

for agni its probably elvira! she is from a place she knows next to nothing about besides what elvira’s explained or what she’s learned from school, she is 100+ years old, yeah! while agni doesnt like fully Understand her she still thinks she’s really cool!! it was rlly nice of her to try and comfort her when she initially found out abt Rei Time. and also knitted her a pretty holster that was so nice of her!!

19. what haunts them? what doesn’t?

pen’s is home. so mf much he genuinely loves his party a lot and has gotten really attached but also like he misses home so bad it hurts. he felt like he was an intrinsic part of something that he fit perfectly and was never gonna have to give up, and he got to be w everyone he cared about all day. he’s haunted by mikolai’s wedding lol. he’s also haunted by The Shit That Went Down Pertaining To His Exile, His Subsequent Exile, Making the Pact,  Dying, Making The Pact Pt 2, The Thing He Had To Do After He Made The Pact, And Then Also Dying Again. he’s haunted by holding ori dead in his arms and bringing her back using power he now understands was from a Not That Great Place. he barely knew her then but he still thought about it all the time, and now he thinks abt it even more lol! he just is not used to life being. Like This. at all. he was a vvvvvv spoiled kid. (some nobility complex part of him is haunted by lydia! stupid jester!) 

he’s not haunted by everyone he’s been a bitch to lol, unless he vocally apologized for it later nfjnf. he’s not haunted by vargas. uh

agni is not haunted by most things and That’s On her super healthy coping mechanism! she tries to not think about her personal life with that much weight, she tries to keep it abstract in her head? but also there are some things she can’t help but get Unnamed Bad Feeling from instinctively. rei. w how last session fucking turned out lol, watching seras collapse in the doorway Will Def Become One. Moms Time, both for individual reasons. sometimes, not being accomplished, but that also filters into Moms Time. everything else tho she kind of just vibes through. 

23. how do they feel about nicknames, titles, or labels that have been given to them? how do they feel about their name?

pens Official Title is penance the jester, court jester of tarbyen (and he makes sure no one forgets it lol.) everyone he grew up around had official titles so it made him feel realllyyy good abt himself that he had one too! (he likes that the party’s nicknamed him pen tho, he thinks its sweet >:) ) his Name name is camil, but only his mom n mikolai called him that, so he thinks its very like..... informal, and he likes being a Formal Title Boy, but also it makes him go all soft bc the two ppl he loved most called him that!! conflicting feelings. 

agni’s had her nickname since she was really young i think, one of those like, you’re in fantasy kindergarten and learning how to spell and your first name is rlly long, so u employ a nickname very early Kind Of Moments. her full name is agnodice and she likes it well enough! it feels very kind of like. stiff and formal to her tho. she thinks agni suits her better!

35. which party member do they worry for?

pen worries for All Of Them. he tries to follow juni when he’s having one of his (as pen puts it) “freak out moments” bc he’s scared someday it’s going to be something that really hurts him, and he wants to be there to help if it does. pen has fully accidentally triggered ori before, and he feels really bad about it, especially since her triggers literally Set Her On Fire. so you know. he tries to be really careful with his words around her, especially since the incident a couple sessions ago. also, he is Very Concerned abt all of her past stuff with the mahne that he’s recently learned abt, especially putting together all the past knowledge she’s given him abt the river and what to do in a pact and Where Exactly She Got That Info From. he’s grateful she’s not in any of that anymore, though, whatever the mahne is exactly. alba’s impulsivity worries pen n he wants to make sure alba doesnt accidentally Put Himself In A Situation accidentally w that someday. 

agni worries for theodosia, just because she seems to know a lot about the fucked up illness time thats going on and it seems to rlly effect her and she knows it cld be coming from prior past experience? she also worries for cyrus because of the whole you know. his family’s shop and home being burned to the ground Situation, even though theyve since recovered it couldnt have been good for him. worries for kai, also, because he is Small Baby Boy. but worries as in like. does so in her agni way and it may not come across as such?

40. do they enjoy poetry?

pen loves poetry he heard a lot of epics at home!! the stories were Less fun when it was about like, war and bloodshed and stuff, but he loved them when they were all pretty n flowery or like romantic 🥺

agni likes hearing poetry recited, especially when it has a specific repetitive syllable pattern she can get lost in!

52. from whom do they seek validation?

pen simply be like [wants validation from nobility noises]. its his Complexes. thats why being @ ravenloft rn is so... bad for him lol bc hes getting like all the positive attention from important people hes wanted for his entire life, oops. hes literally living out a dream being asked to dance with someone so important!! he also seeks validation a lot from like powerpful women bc of growing up with his mom and how much he looked up to her and cared about her, which manifests itself a lot w wanting attention from ori and jenny (and previously w lady wachter lol) and also the lady of delights. 

growing up agni sought validation from her mothers n instructors, now (while she still wants momsvalidation) she looks for validation mostly from herself, which is kind of bad bc she never feels fully satiated w her work n accomplishments! 

69. how would they describe their party members?

for pen: ori feels like an older sister to him, hes too scared to express as much, but yeah! she is warm (he means figuratively but also lol) and Kind and Competent and Smart and above all, Safe. he defintely feels like, the safest with her than anyone else he’s encountered in his life, both i mean in the physical protection sense but moreso the emotional sense! yeah. juni is.,, complicated. at first pen was uhhh scared of him bc of the whole Sorcerer Thing, but after all of them talked abt it at jenny’s, that feeling passed and he was more just concerned for him than anything. he is Powerful and Pretty and even though he’s been thru a lot of things pen himself cant even comprehend juni’s still Soft and Understanding and pen really admires that about him! alba is Also Complicated, for different reasons. pen thinks he is Reckless and Impulsive but also Smart in his own little scheme way, and pen really appreciates him as like a constant in his life? like yeah, he is scary and concerning sometimes but he’s always Predictably as such and while pen doesn’t see alba as all that loyal in general pen is kind of blind to that stuff when it comes to ppl in relation to him, so he’s just glad he’s met someone that wants to stick with him.

for agni: cyrus is so nice to her!! he feels like a capital f Friend in her head and so far like. she’s only had one of those before so thats really cool!! he helps her out a lot and she tries to do what she can to be there for him too! it was nice of him to teach her abt Beach Swimming. theo is really cool and agni loves seeing her in her element doing Medicine Stuff she thinks she is really smart w that kind of thing and rlly respects her practice, agni’s also very interested in her magic!! she thinks dendy is small little lizard guy who sings silly songs. greatly appreciates him. she wld follow kai blindly into terrible plans because she wants to make sure this cool teen is alright , is thankful to know he can turn into a bear at will and she didnt do that on accident that one time! amadeus is confusing and hard to keep track of in her head, but at the end of the day she thinks he’s very caring and just looking out for people. adaeze is really fun to hang out with and she is both concerned and greatly impressed w her just straight up downing one of fer’s Fucked Up And Evil Potions no questions asked, bc thats something even Agni’s too scared to do. thinks her sword is very interesting in terms of the arcane, wants to see what happens w all that! elvira is super different from anyone agni’s been around but she thinks she’s an amazing artist and would love to see her home bc she talks about it so vividly!! 

[formerprincess]

Mirror of Origin | Chapter 3

Chapters: 3/? Fandom: Teen Wolf (TV) Rating: Not Rated Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Liam Dunbar/Theo Raeken, Corey Bryant/Mason Hewitt Characters: Theo Raeken, Liam Dunbar, Mason Hewitt, Corey Bryant Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe, Tomb Raider, Swearing, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Guns, Violence, Minor Character Death, but only bad guys die I swear, Blood, Injury

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Liam sat on a small rock near the river and watched the water sparkle in the sun. They had stayed in a small secluded cave nearby and he had been the first to wake up so Liam used the opportunity to reach out to Mason and Corey and check in with them. “I’m still looking through your mother’s notes for anything related to this Vera person. Your mom wrote a lot but I haven’t found anything yet. If I do, you will be the first to know,” Mason filled Liam in with the progress. “I tried to research about Insight but holy moly, Liam, they are like literal ghosts. Barely any mention and even if they get mentioned it leads nowhere than to the fact they are an organization working in the archaeological field,” Corey now told Liam and typed on his keyboard. “A secret organization without any traces in the web? Why am I not surprised?” Liam drawled sarcastically. “I’m not giving up and digging deeper,” Corey promised. “Still, you should be careful around them. Everybody leaves traces unless they are very adamant about not doing so. This has weird written all over it.” “And you say I worry too much,” Mason mocked his boyfriend and Corey sighed. “But you’re also right. Liam, you should be careful.” “Guys, you know me.” Liam rolled his eyes. He knew what he had to do. “That’s why we’re telling you!” Both of his friends said at the same time and Liam sighed again. “Why am I even talking to you?” “Because you love us,” Mason deadpanned and Corey awed. “You’re idiots. But you’re also right, I do.” He chuckled softly. “Anyway, I have to go. When we reach the village, I will call again. Stay safe!” “We are not the ones walking through the Peruvian Jungle with a mysterious group of people,” Mason muttered when Liam ended the call.

He stretched, got up, and looked around. To his left, the jungle began again and to his right, the river bank was covered with sand and pebbles. Different birds chirped in the tall trees and it was peaceful. As long as he heard the birds, the jaguar was far away and that was probably the best thing yet. It bugged him they had not found anything relatable this far. Vera and her group were hopefully more successful because right now this all felt like a giant cosmic joke. Maybe Ferguson had found the mirror and then decided to play a prank on anybody looking for it. Except for a part of Liam believed the note he had found in the Emperor’s tomb. Why would the old guy lie? His note had stressed how dangerous this search was but aside from almost drowning – and that in a building not even related to the Mirror – they had not encountered anything dangerous yet. The jaguar was living in the jungle and Liam counted the dangers of their environment not to the horrors Ferguson had described. So what had put so much fear in the guy he had been traumatized for the rest of his life?

The young archaeologist sighed and wandered a bit further down the river. The morning sun was warming everything up and it was already disgustingly hot. His t-shirt already began to stick to his body. Well, it was still better than being in Egypt and having sand stick to your skin like a natural peeling; especially when you had cuts and gashes on your skin... His eyes suddenly fell on a large tree. It was enormous and Liam couldn’t even see the top when he tilted his head. The bark was thick and covered in moss but there was an opening big enough for a person to slip through. Liam wasn’t the tallest and it now came in handy when his curiosity picked up. This was a perfect hiding spot for whatever and he had the strong suspicion it had been made by human hands. He carefully slipped inside the tiny cave and turned on his flashlight. A few mushrooms grew on the inside of the tree and aside from a wooden box on the ground, nothing was there. With a humming sound, Liam knelt down. The box once had been painted with blue embellishments but now the paint was slowly fading and the wood was crooked from the humidity in the air. The little lock gave no resistance when Liam opened it and revealed handwritten notes inside. Liam put the documents out and began to read.

I received the invitation today. When the mother invited me, I felt honored. I am sure no king in any of the lands would decline such an invitation. I see it already. Me and one of her daughters married and taking a stroll over the market, basking in the admiration of our followers. It will be fantastic.

The family is admired and the people say the daughters are blessed by the gods. I don’t know how that shows but the stories I heard are impressive. Having one of the daughters as my wife would do my kingdom proud.

I heard the word my rival, the Monkey King, also received an invitation. I don’t care. I’m bringing the best clothes, gems, jewelry, the best gifts to show the mother I am worthy to receive the hand of one of her daughter’s in marriage. My rival has nothing on me, I know how to court a woman.

As I’m writing this, the last preparations for my journey begin. Tomorrow I will leave to travel to the family. If any of these stories are true, it will be a journey worth the troubles. The path is not easy but the mother assured me, this is only the first test to see if I am worthy. She already planned on many more. I will pass them all. I know I will.

Liam hummed. A family blessed by the gods? That sounded interesting and he made a mental note to that. For now, he just pocketed the notes in his backpack and slipped out of the tree cave again. “Didn’t we say no more detours?” Theo stood a few feet away, arms crossed in front of his chest, and gave Liam a stern look. Liam scoffed. “You decided on no more detours and I couldn’t care less what you want.” He brushed past Theo but the other grabbed him by his upper arm. “Listen to me, you little shit, stop being so damn arrogant!” Liam growled and wrenched his arm out of Theo’s hold but grabbed his arm instead and twisted it painfully. Theo groaned. “Never. touch. me. again. I do not like anybody touching me without my consent and I sure as hell don’t like it when you do it. My body is off limits for you, got it, bastard?” Theo just glared at him and Liam let him go because he actually didn’t want Raeken to punch him. The mercenary held his arm and glared angrily at Liam. “Vera won’t like you acting like that! Wait till I tell her!” “If Vera gives so much about your opinion why aren’t you with her but stuck with me in the middle of the freaking jungle?” Liam shot back and smirked mockingly. “I swear, the next jaguar we see, I will fucking throw you in its way. I don’t get what Vera sees in you but we don’t need you to find the mirror. So, next opportunity, you are big cat food, Dum-bar!” “I fucking hate you!” “I couldn’t care less!” They stared at each other with angry snarls and Liam really wanted to punch the guy. But he still had his two friends and so Liam was outnumbered. “Can’t wait till we reach the village,” he huffed. “One more day,” Theo replied coldly. “Perfect.”

Now Liam could brush past him but then he turned around again. “I am still sorry about what happened to your friend.” He meant it. Losing someone was traumatic. Theo gave him a puzzled look. “Huh?” “Davis, I’m talking about Davis.” And now Raeken barked out a laugh. “He wasn’t my friend! We worked together and he was so stupid to tease a wild animal. His fault he died.” He shrugged and Liam realized how cold these guys were. They showed no real emotion, aside from anger and annoyance, determined to go through with their mission. Showing compassion? No, not these guys. Right now, they were on the same side as Liam but he had already learned in his young life how fast that could change. He stored this revelation in the back of his mind. It wouldn’t stop him from searching for the artifact but Liam would be more careful than before.

It’s why he didn’t say anything else and just returned to the other guys. Donovan sneered when he saw him. “So Theo found you again. Pity, I hoped you would have died last night. One less problem to take care off.” “You are three guys against one, why don’t you use your guns?” Liam snapped back and then mentally slapped himself. Way to go when you already figured out how dangerous they are, Liam! “Trust me, if I could, I would.” Donovan raised his gun when Theo appeared next to him and pressed the weapon down with the palm of his hand. “As entertaining as your little pissing contest is, let’s go!” “The faster we reach the village, that faster that one becomes Vera’s problem again,” Burwell mentioned. Liam raised an eyebrow. “That one? What am I? An animal?” “There are many small and annoying animals, it wouldn’t be that farfetched,” Theo replied while he shouldered his bag and his gun. He turned around and then startled when Liam stepped directly into his path and they stood face to face. Liam let his eyes wander over the other’s appearance. “We are the same height, you prick!” He grinned triumphantly, spun around and began walking. Burwell snickered behind him.

                                                ~~~ THEO ~~~ “You could use your gun right now. There’s nothing for him to hide,” Donovan muttered and Theo felt his finger twitch to flip him the bird. “If you will explain the incident to Vera, be my guest.” “We will say he also fell victim to the jaguar. No harm will be done.” “Yeah because that is such a good idea. You know Vera doesn’t like it when we lie to her.” The woman could act like the sweetest person on earth but she could also get very angry and impulsive. Theo still felt the cold water she had dosed him and his team with after she thought they held back information in Russia. Cold water wasn’t so much of a problem but it quickly became one when it was freezing outside. She had later explained she only did this because she cared about their duty and they had to be inured to anything crossing their path. She was right, Theo knew this painfully well. It was the main reason he had so much respect for that tiny woman. He now shook his head to clear it from unwanted thoughts and then followed the annoying wannabe tomb raider. “Do you even know where we’re going?” “Towards the village,” Liam helpfully replied and Theo sighed. That idiot would cause his first gray hairs.

****** There wasn’t much Dunbar did right but he purposefully didn’t lead them through the jaguar’s lair again. Sure, you could never really tell where the hunting ground began and where it ended, but Liam tried to stay as far away from the point they encountered the animal as possible. Theo was actually impressed. The guy could think if he wanted to, would you look at that.

If only he wasn’t so keen on exploring everything he deemed interesting. He reminded Theo of a puppy, the way he bounced left and right, knelt down to inspect rocks or stopped to take a look at the map. When asked about it, he repeated the same lament, that Ferguson might have found something between the mission and the village and it was worth looking out. It was wearing Theo and his men down because they were slowly marching forward. They all were too impatient for that. “Can you not?” He, therefore, hissed at Liam when the guy inspected some carvings in an old tree. “I had planned on reaching the village today!” Dunbar never reacted and instead ran his fingers over the cravings. “Blessed by the gods, cursed by a human. Found their demise by the hands of their own flesh and blood,” he muttered and rounded the tree. Theo frowned. “What?” “I am translating what’s carved in here,” Liam replied. “Greed and envy…a family tragedy.” “If you’re done with your jungle soap opera I’d like to continue walking.” Theo checked his own map and found they were not as far as he had thought they would be during that time of the day. All thanks to the dumb puppy trapped inside a human body. Burwell and Donovan had already walked past them and waited for them a few feet ahead. “Already told you, I couldn’t care less what you want!”

Maybe it was the heat or that he was generally annoyed with babysitting a twenty-something brat whose mom had crossed paths with Vera in the past but Theo snapped. He strode over to the guy, grabbed him by the bag, and dragged Liam after himself like a stubborn mule. Liam shrieked and Theo felt him stemming his feet to the ground and trying to resist getting dragged. And then he suddenly felt a grip on his arm and was thrown to the floor in a totally surprising judo throw. He landed in the dirt and then Liam pinned him down while he straddled Theo. “I already told you I don’t like you touching me. Leave it!” Theo glared at the younger man and used a quick moment where Liam didn’t pay that much attention to rolling them around. Now he pinned the other. “Then move your ass and don’t stop every two minutes.” “You do know this is an expedition?” Liam replied angrily and rolled them around again.

None of them wanted to submit and let the other overpower them and so they rolled around until they reached the end of the little uphill they had been on and both tumbled down. It created separation between the two fighting men but Theo would have liked it better if he landed on his own two feet instead of on his back. He groaned and Liam next to him let out a similar sound. He had landed on his front and Theo sincerely hoped he had hurt himself. Served him right for being the idiotic brat that he was. He sat up and surveyed their current position. While it wasn’t that high, the walls of the little uphill they fell down were made from massive stone and he doubted they would manage to get their hiking axes into it. Theo still got to his feet and stepped closer to try it. He had been right, it didn’t work.

“Are you happy now?” Theo looked over his shoulder when he was spoken to. Liam had sat up too and looked like he was pouting while he glanced up the stone walls. “Me? You’re the one to blame for this debacle!” “Am not. You began to drag me.” Liam got to his feet and dusted his pants off. Then he glanced around. There was a small path they would have to follow because climbing up was not an option. “Theo?” His walkie-talkie crackled and Bullwell called out for him. Theo grabbed the device. “We’re fine, we just fell and now have to find a way up again.” “Shit,” Burwell cursed and said exactly what Theo was thinking. “It’s alright, you continue walking towards the village; we will join you later.” No use in them waiting for Theo and Liam. “You sure?” Burwell asked and Theo sighed. “Yeah, just continue. I will keep him in check.”

He clipped his walkie-talkie on his belt again. Suddenly he saw something flying towards him from the corner of his eye and caught it last minute. It was a still wrapped small medical kit. “You hurt your elbow. Patch yourself up and let’s get going,” Liam just said and then proceeded to follow the path Theo had spotted earlier. Theo stared after him and then back at the kit in his hand. He didn’t get the guy. One minute they were at each other’s throats and now he made sure Theo had something to tend to his wounds. Speaking of: He raised his arm and turned it so he could see the damage. His elbow was bloodied but it was just a simple cut, nothing more. Thanks to Liam’s kit he could use a disinfectant wipe to clean it from any dirt and then put the band-aid over it. Then he followed the brat.

Said brat currently peeked on his map and frowned. Theo snickered. “Aw, lost your way? That’s unfortunate.” “You’re unfortunate,” Liam muttered and Theo laughed.  “Weak comeback, brat, even for you.” “Shut the fuck up! I wasn’t looking for directions, there is only one path we can follow right now anyway!” True. The narrow path between the walls from the uphill was the only way. It was so narrow, they only could walk behind each other. Theo knew that as well but it was so fun to rile the other up.  “You know, you guys always threat to shoot me but you realize I have guns of my own?” Liam asked and put a hand on one of his pistols while he glanced over his shoulder.  Theo raised an eyebrow in challenge. “And would you? Shoot me?” He considered Dunbar all talk and no action so he kind of knew the answer but he really wanted to know what the guy would reply.  Liam ground his teeth. “I don’t shoot people unless I have to,” he finally spat out and Theo snickered. He had been right.  “Oh, the wannabe tomb raider has morals.” Dunbar stopped so suddenly Theo ran into him. He turned around. “I always had morals. Believe me, I know about my shortcomings and the things I did wrong. But I have some moral values I always try to uphold and won’t forget for people like you,” he stated earnestly. The look he gave Theo then made the hairs in the back of his neck stand up. Theo hated it when people looked at him as if they had figured him out. He wasn’t open and rarely let people in, not even his friends knew everything about him, and he liked the protective wall it brought with it. Especially in his line of work, Theo fared better with it. And to have the brat look at him as if he thought he found a way to peek behind the wall made Theo’s skin crawl. “The question is, do you have some?” Theo snorted. “My moral values are none of your concern,” he said dismissively and then grabbed Liam by the shoulders to turn him around. “Start walking again or we have to sleep in the middle of the freaking jungle.”

Liam even let himself get manhandled for once and walked into the direction Theo had steered him into.  They walked for a while until the path turned wider again and they could walk next to each other. The stone walls still surrounded them but the path deviated to the left and they had no choice but to follow.  And then they walked around the corner and suddenly faced a sculpture of six persons, all women. Every woman was engraved in the stone wall and the attention to detail was formidable. Theo let out a low whistle and raised a hand to stroke over the intricate forms on their dresses.  “The artwork is meticulous. The artist even got the folding of the dresses,” he muttered in admiration while he blinked in the artfully crafted stone faces. The whole carving was larger than any human and went over the whole wall, it must have taken a long time to finish it. The women, Theo realized, were the same as on the paintings they had found in the building yesterday. The daughters stood with their hands folded as if they were about to receive a gift and the mother had her hands raised as if he was preaching to them. Above her head flowed an oval object with artful forms on both ends. Theo frowned. “Is that...?” “The Mirror of Origin,” Liam confirmed. “That’s the exact same form Ferguson had once scribbled down on his notes.” 

He laughed and pumped his fist in joy. “I knew we were on the right track!” In a swift motion, he had pulled his camera from his backpack and took pictures of the artwork. “I found some notes regarding this family. They are described as blessed by the gods. Know what else has this attribute?” “The Mirror of Origin?” Theo didn’t even really ask, it was crystal clear at this point. Liam still nodded and continued to snap pictures.  “So this family is what? The guardians of the mirror?” Liam hummed. “For now, let’s call them that, yes. Though I don’t think Ferguson ever mentioned a family in his records. Have to check this again when we're at the village. Have to check in with Mason as well.” Though Theo was sure the last part had more been Liam talking to himself, he could not resist answering. “Who’s Mason? Your boyfriend?” “Best friend.” Liam gave him an annoyed look. “Though this is none of your business. But I don’t have a boyfriend. And no girlfriend either.” “Shocker, no one wants to date the little Ivy League brat. Why am I not surprised?” “Oh, and you have a wife and kid to come home to every night?” Liam asked and rolled his eyes. “I don’t want a relationship. I’m good as single. I would be a great whiskey. Relationships are just pesky.” “Says only the one who can’t get any.” Theo scoffed. “Oh, believe me, I get enough. Men and women if you must know.” “What do you mean...Oh god.” Liam retched. “Dude, gross, why would you tell me that?” He stuffed his camera in his back again and stalked away from Theo. The mercenary snickered but followed him.  “Thought you might want to know not everybody is as lonely as you are. Don’t you have enough money to buy yourself a relationship? I’m sure there are people who would love spending all your money and give you sex in return.” “That’s called a sugar baby. Do you know so much about it since it was your first job? Oh sorry, that would actually mean you’re pretty. And you’re not.” Okay, that little bastard could call him names all he wanted but he was not allowed to insult Theo’s looks. Theo knew he was pretty, okay? He shoved Liam in retaliation. “Fucker! I am attractive!” “Meh,” Liam said and made a vague hand movement. “I’ve seen better.”

Theo scoffed and decided to change the topic. “Well, what’s your plan? I’m sure your little brain is already rattling with the newfound information. Let me tell you in advance, if you continue stopping every two minutes to inspect something, I will drag you to the village by your hair if I must. You’re slow.” “I’m detailed,” Liam defended himself.  “Brat, even a turtle moves faster than you. And turtles don’t move fast.” Liam just scoffed. “I traveled to Peru before and I already was on the track to find the mirror. Only to learn that Ferguson lied for whatever reason. Looking back at my expedition, I neglected so many things that now I’m double as detailed and now I want to turn every stone. If this is too slow for you, fine, leave me behind. I’m sure Vera will understand.”

Theo wanted to agree, take the easy way out and just leave him be. Liam had offered it himself, Theo just could take it. But he set his jaw.  “I can’t.” “Why not? I’m used to working alone and I can always meet Insight later at the village. I surely don’t need three bodyguards. I’m better off working alone anyway.” “Vera won’t like it.” Liam glanced at him and again Theo felt like the other was able to see right through him. It probably was the blue of his eyes, that made him seem deeper than he actually was. Because if you asked Theo, that guy was as shallow as a kiddie pool. “She has a good grip on you all. Dare I say you are afraid of her? Why is that? That woman doesn’t even carry a gun.” “She does. In her boot. A tiny pistol but she can shoot you with it,” Theo shared with Liam. “Listen, she is the boss. I’m aware you are not familiar with how an organization works but we have a hierarchy. She is our boss so we do as he says. And she gave my team and myself the order to accompany you. Trust me, I would love to leave you here, in the middle of the jungle, but she would freak out. You’re not worth the trouble.” “Hm.” Liam moved his head slightly while he pondered on it then he just began walking again. Theo blinked. He honestly had expected the younger to argue once more. 

When Theo finally walked up to him again, Liam fiddled with his map again. “The jungle mission is here, the village there. We are somewhere in this area I think and there was the building we almost drowned in.” He marked the points on the map. “Our usual route would have been there but now I think....”  Theo glanced over at the map and then looked around.  “I see a mountain in the distance. With our usual route, we would have rounded it from the right but now we might have a chance to round it from the left. It might even save us some time,” he realized and now it was his turn to point at the map.  Liam nodded. “We could even be faster than your two friends.” “Already told you they’re not my friends, we just work together.”  “How could I forget that? The big guy doesn’t have friends, right.”  Theo really didn’t like how cheeky the other was. And his only way of retaliation was to either snark back or shove him. Which he did now again. Liam stumbled and hissed. Theo grinned. It was childish but the guy had started it all so Theo saw no use in being the bigger person.  

The brat now ducked under a tree trunk growing over the path they were on and right when Theo followed him, he heard a shriek. It was on impulse that Theo reached out and grabbed the other by his backpack and pulled him back. It saved Liam from tumbling down yet another uphill. This time, however, his fall would have been more hurtful cause this declension was bold but even worse, on the bottom of the uphill rusty spears soared from the muddy ground. Dunbar would have been Swiss Cheese after tumbling down.  He now peaked over the ledge and breathed heavily. “Shit.” “Indeed,” Theo confirmed and let Liam go after he was sure the other was standing safely on his own two feet. “Can you be a bit more careful?” “How was I suppose to know the path would narrow even more after ducking under a tree trunk?” “We’re in the motherfucking jungle. Every step could be our last.”  He slipped past Liam, careful to stay away as far from the ledge as possible.  “Anyway, thanks,” Dunbar mumbled behind him and Theo shrugged.  “Don’t get soft on me now. Let’s get going.” He heard Liam shuffling behind him and then how he followed. Good. At least, he didn’t feel the need to discuss this now and they could continue their path. Theo didn’t know what waiting for them around the next curve but he had to be prepared for everything. Wild animals, deadly traps, the whole nine yards. And again he hoped Dunbar would be more action than talk when it came to firing guns. Theo was still not very convinced the guy could handle himself in a fight. So far he might have managed to get them out of a trap he led them into in the first place and ran away from a jaguar but that about was it. In Theo’s book, Dum-bar had been just lucky. 

Crumbled walls from an old building, covered with plants and moss and worn down by weather and time appeared in front of him. Theo marched through some smaller bushes and they stood in the inner yard of the building. A roofed corridor had been built all around the atrium, some parts of the roof had already crashed down but it was enough to give Theo an idea how people wandered through it and enjoyed the plants inside the atrium probably. Right in the middle of it stood a beautifully crafted stature, again made from stone, and the details were impressive again. Various vessels in front of the statue held various treasures; from gems and colorful stones to gold, everything was there. It almost looked like it had been a place of worship. “Was this a temple? If yes, what kind of goddess was she?” Theo stepped to the statue and examined her stony face.  “Not a temple for a god but a sacred place indeed.” Liam stepped next to Theo. “The people around must have worshiped her. And you know who that is? The mother of the family we already encountered. Watch this.” He held up his camera where he had the pictures he had taken earlier on display. He was right, the same facial features.  Theo looked up at the statue again and once more marveled at the details of face and dress. Even the hair was meticulously worked so you saw single strands. The mother held bother hands up, palms facing the sky, and smiled kindly at anyone approaching her statue.  “Hey, do you see that?” Theo nudged Liam. “The stone on her left hand looks a little off. It’s not the exact same color as the rest of the statue.” Liam glanced up and pursed his lips. And then he held out his own hand for Theo to take. When the older just stared at him, he looked at Theo and then rolled his eyes. 

“Stop looking at me like I proposed to you. I don’t want to hold hands with you but I need a hold,” he mumbled. When Theo still reacted too slowly for Dunbar’s liking, he groaned and grabbed Theo’s hand. He put his foot on the statue’s leg and then pushed himself up. Due to the hold he had on Theo, it was easier for him.  “Excuse me, what are you doing? You can’t climb an old statue. Don’t you have any respect?” Theo hissed. He had done a lot of things to ancient artifacts but he never used one as a personal climbing wall.  “Relax,” Liam just said and continued climbing until he reached the statue’s hand. He tilted his head and then felt around before he pressed down on the hand in a handshake.  The hand moved slightly under the light pressure and suddenly snapped off to reveal a rolled document hidden in a cavity inside her arm. Liam whooped and slowly pulled the document out. Thankfully it worked without problems cause the moment he had extracted the roll, the hand snapped back. Theo snickered at the shocked sound the brat made but then helped Liam down the statue again. 

On solid ground again, Liam rolled out the document he had found while Theo peeked over his shoulder. It was an old map to an area Theo knew he saw once but couldn’t immediately recall. Liam didn’t fare any better and he frowned.  “This is so old, it doesn’t necessarily mean the area still looks like this, right? But maybe some larger landmarks or something? I count four temples. One, two, three. four. Some mountains, there’s a river. But where is this area?” Theo tilted his head and then he pointed at something at the lower border of the map. “That seems to be a village. Wait a second! I think I know this.” He pulled out his own GPS and opened the map. Comparing the route of the river, he tried to match the two maps and finally succeeded. “See that? The village down below on the old map is the village Vera is waiting for us in. And see those ruins on the new map? They’re literally right next to the temples form the old one.” Theo pressed a button and the map projected in front of them. Liam held the old map beneath the projection so they could really see both maps showed the same area.  “But that doesn’t make any sense. If those ruins are already found, wouldn’t it make more sense for the temples to also be found?” He questioned.  But Theo was sure he was right. “Not necessarily. Not when those old temples are beneath the new ruins. There are many places in South America where one building was built over another one. If nobody dug deep enough - probably because they didn’t know what they were looking for and had to dig deeper - the temples are still there, still untouched by humans since hundreds of years.”  “That makes sense.” Liam nodded. “We need to get to the village as fast as possible.” Theo nodded as well. “Yeah.” 

For probably the first time, they actually had the same goal. Vera would be over the moon when they told her what they found. It would perhaps give Theo a nice bonus. His co-workers could get lost.  And again, Theo felt the tingle of excitement running through his veins. They were on the right track and had taken a large step closer to the Mirror of Origin. This was huge. And he was part of it. It felt unreal and oh so wonderful. This was the reason he had accepted a job with Insight. The joy of finding old artifacts lost for hundreds of years. It was always a thrill.

Happy weekend guys! I hope you all are fine and enjoy some lazy days! It still amazes me to see people liking this story. I know I took my time with the third chapter but I hope it was worth the wait. Writing Liam and Theo constantly fighting with each other and bickering is fun. And Theo being an asshole is just the best! I am having a field day with that one!

As always, comments, suggestions, and wishes are welcome. Share your thoughts with me in the comments.

♥

[squirrel-the-adhd-mom]

Chapter Ten- Wtf?

10/05/2022

I didn’t sleep great. Decent but not great. My body is worn out. Last night I was doing this screwed up type of sleeping that I call “sleep thinking.” Basically my body is sleeping my eyes are closed but my brain says fuck you, Mikayla, you have to much to think about. Then, Logan’s alarm goes off. Of course he doesn’t hear it right away and snoozes it a few minutes after it starts. Poor guy has the man flu. Sorry guys but men are pansies. They get a head cold or a stuffy nose and the world starts ending. Buddy not to be an ass hole which I think we’ve all declared I am, but go ahead and push a baby out or have your body sliced half way open while your awake might I add to bring a baby into the world. Then be expected to get up and do all your normal duties as if a stork just dropped the little crotch goblin off in a sheet on your front porch. Men seriously have zero idea what women put them selves through. Sorry not sorry. Anyways then, CJ (Clayleigh James) wakes up. Eh it must’ve been about 3am. Just for the record she normally doesn’t but sleep regression around the age of one is a real and incredibly frustrating thing. So I wake up make her bottle and get her back to sleep. Lay down and I’m thinking to myself “just go to sleep, count the sheep.” Damn it, brain interferes, “haha nice try, Mikayla, I’ve got things for you to consider.” Stupid things like: what chore am I going to accomplish in the morning? Do I shampoo and conditioner my hair in the shower? Don’t forget to put a load in the washer! Oh if you remember maybe unload the dishwasher. Shit, don’t forget to palate Cruë. Oh and ask Brandi to give Ryann a bath because your a shit for brains mom and forgot. Yeah, yeah, fuck you too ADHD brain. Next time just let me sleep. I function better when I SLEEP!

You know. Well you probably don’t but maybe you do. That people with ADHD more times than not actually have incredibly high IQs. Theo is incredibly intelligent. He catches on to things quickly. Included but not limited to getting out of things he doesn’t want to do. For example: writing. It something he struggles with which is also very common with kids with ADHD. So instead of trying to just misbehaves so he gets sent out of the classroom to go see his behavioral teacher. Face palm. I am so incredibly blessed with a strong willed, intelligent human. Accept I wish he would save all these great qualities for when he moves out of my house.

Discouragement. To some this means something brings you down for a little bit but you get up and try again. For me this means if something isn’t going as well as I thought it might I want to shut down the idea all together because I feel like a failure. This blog for example I thought I’d get more feed back on. My instant reaction and impulsive mind says to forget it no body cares and I should just shut up no body wants to listen to my sob story. My realistic brain says don’t give up. So I am trying really hard not to. Discouragement makes me my own worse enemy. Which leads me to instant gratification.

Instant gratification. When something happens and immediately makes you feel good inside. Which makes the impulsive instinct VERY easy to jump on. Impulsive behavior is not only an ADHD trait but a lot of people struggle with it. Trust me when I say just because your impulsive doesn’t mean you have ADHD, and just because you have ADHD doesn’t mean you are impulsive, but if you have ADHD there is a good chance you are impulsive. I am ADHD with the impulsive trait and the easily discouraged trait along with a lot of the other fantastic traits that come with ADHD. Congratulations, Mikayla, you might as well send yourself to the nut house.

Theo put him self tonight. Didn’t even fight going to his room. It doesn’t happen often but when it does it’s safe to say that he is tired and his brain gave him a run for his money. These moments all though few and far between I like to refer to as the ADHD crash. It’s when your brain just goes, goes, goes until it just can’t anymore. It’s the ultimate exhaustion. Similar to an adrenaline rush come down but possibly worse. Every being of your body just quits. I got home early but I didn’t get shit done for the same reason. The difference is I can’t just go put myself to bed because, well I’m “mom.”

[undxunted]

out of BAZARI + GABE + MIKKY + ELI+ THEO + AARON + ROMEO, rank the most-to-least likely to... ╭〻◕`w´◕〻╮ visit an art museum? donate to a panhandler? unironically enjoy reading/watching a love story whether they admit it out loud of not? graduate as valedictorian in a situation where they all went to a standard high school? solve a math problem faster than the other two? hold a petty grudge? recognize annona bright in public? pass out in a public place? drop acid? break a heart? punch a wall?

WOW. I have like two people in this goddamn site who know about my characters and I think I know who sent this. For practical purposes, I will use the BrightLights rp!AU for Zach, Mikky and Riley. Anyways, back to business:

Visit an art museum: 

Zach

Romeo

Eli

Gabe

Aaron

Basil

Riley

Theo

Mikky.

Zach is the son of two serial killers who were absolutely obsessed with art, design and perfection. He has a very well trained mind regarding the artistic area and considers himself an expert, even though the only strong artistic abilities he possesses are music and theater ( he loves theater ). There’s nothing interesting to say about the rest.

Donate to a panhandler:

Riley

Zach

Aaron

Eli

Gabe

Basil

Mikky

Romeo

Theo

Riley grew up in a very very poor family and knows about struggle. Very few extended him a hand when he and his family needed it and seeing someone go through the same makes him feel ( surprisingly ) bad. Zach is ridiculously kind, Aaron is involved with the church, Gabe is the middle point between kindness and personal interest in this list. Basil hang around horrible places because unlike what people think, the powerful people are below, not above. Romeo probably thinks panhandlers are a myth since he barely uses his own feet to move from one place to another and he is dropped right at the front of red carpets. Theo is just a prick who sees the rest of the world as scum.

Unironically enjoy reading/watching a love story whether they admit it out loud of not?: 

Eli

Gabe

Aaron

Mikky

Zach

Riley

Romeo

Theo

Basil

Eli is a HUGE teddy bear, the only one who is actually looking to become fully good and change his life around. He is secretly very cheesy and probably the only of the list who is not afraid to speak about feelings. Basil on the other hand is painfully cold and neutral, at one point I even thought he was aromantic, but he ended developing a huge crush on his current girlfriend at the group. Still, he is learning how to deal with feelings and how to express them.

Graduate as valedictorian in a situation where they all went to a standard high school?:

Basil

Gabe

Romeo

Theo

Riley

Aaron

Eli

Zach

Mikky

Even due Basil’s cold personality, he knows his way around people and he is also very smart. He wasn’t born with a ridiculous amount of brains like Riley, but he was always very witty and intuitive, aside of extremely scholarly and capable of noticing details that others would usually oversee. This helped him to get to the top of the list. Dangerously close, there’s Gabe, but since he has this weird vibe, not all teachers trusted him at all. Riley could have won, because he has an uncanny intelligence (think of any of the Holmes), but he is too lazy and too much of a curious and party guy, so he spends his time in the detention room alongside Eli and Mikky. Eli is a big Gryffindor who is always getting in petty fights, Mikky is just a yandere witch trying to sleep with all the teachers. Zach doesn’t have very good grades, except for History of Art and Aaron is a fucking hypocrite nobody really tolerates, but ironically, this fanatic child of mine hangs a lot with Mikky because she is the only one who can stand him. Theo is a golden boy, but he stabbed a guy with a pencil once, so nobody really trusts him much anymore and Romeo would be the perfect valedictorian, but he probably missed a point or two in a class while flirting with the cheerleaders.

Solve a math problem faster than the other two?:

Riley

Theo

Basil

Eli

Gabe

Romeo

Aaron

Zach

Mikky

Riley is my smart boy, anything you can do, he can do better. He is a fucking mess with a short attention span ( and interest ) but he can solve anything math-y in seconds. Prolly Theo and Basil follow him next, even though Riley already solved 3 problems while the other two are finishing the first one. Mikky simply wouldn’t do it, she is too pretty and goth for that.

Hold a petty grudge?: Are you kidding me? Literally all my characters can’t let shit go and that’s why they are the way they are.

Basil

Gabe

Riley

Theo

Mikky

Aaron

Romeo

Zach

Eli

Basil murdered his little sister out of vengeance against his mother. Gabe is… well, you know, he thinks he is an angel and must punish men for their bad deeds. If Riley is fooled, lied or tricked, oh boy, you are in BIG trouble. From there, the rest are mostly petty bitches. Eli is the most calm one unless you get to piss him off which is hard, but careful if you do.

Recognize Annona Bright in public?:

Gabe

Theo

Mikky

Zach

Basil

Romeo

Eli

Aaron

Riley

The heir, socialite and also horror fan? ( all my kids are horror fans, tho ), he is a big fan of Annona and wouldn’t miss a chance to meet her. He probably tried to flirt with her A LOT. Theo is a sadist and most likely has had HORRIBLE fantasies with her he would love to bring out of his dreams. Mikky likes the feminine representation in the industry and loves her wardrobe.

Pass out in a public place?:

Theo

Aaron

Zach

Eli

Riley

Mikky

Romeo

Basil

Gabe

Theo is a drama queen, either real or not, if passing out gives this obnoxious bastard the required attention, he will do it. Aaron is that guy that screams like a girl when he is startled or scared and even though he is starting his own cult, seeing dirty stuff would make him pass out. Zach sometimes gets heavy headaches ( in both the Plath and Bright Lights verses ) and this can knock him down. Basil is a doctor so usually can sense if it is going to happen and find a safe place to do it or call someone before it happens. Gabe is a diva who wouldn’t be allowed to be seen weak in public.

Drop acid?:

Romeo

Riley

Mikky

Theo

Eli

Gabe

Aaron

Zach

Basil

Romeo is a rich party boy. He likes having fun spending lots of money, even if that includes drugs for everyone. Riley was in a cage for 18 years ( he is 23 in the current verses, I should update that ), so now he was to experience it all. Zach is a prude and wouldn’t really do it unless the peer pressure is too much. Basil thinks drugs are stupid.

Break a heart?: HA!

Romeo

Riley

Theo

Mikky

Gabe

Aaron

Zach

Eli

Basil

Romeo and Riley like to collect “pets” aka people they can use whenever they want and then dump them just to go after them when they get bored again. Eli is too much of a good person to do that and Basil is not someone you crush on?? And even if that happened, he would get sure the pop the bubble really quick because he has no time for stupid feelings or whatsoever.

Punch a wall?:

Zach

Riley

Eli

Aaron

Theo

Romeo

Mikky

Gabe

Basil

Zach and Riley are the most impulsive ones. They can snap quickly with the correct trigger, that’s why in their brotherhood, Basil is also the one who calms them down, he barely shows any real emotion and after being a crybaby in his childhood years, he learned how to shut himself down. Eli’s feelings are very strong and as your stereotypical Gryffindor, his own ego and pride get in the way sometimes.

[sunjaesol]

Thoughts on 6x16 “Triggers”

Alright, after two weeks, we’re back with another episode of Teen Wolf. Today is the one where they go to the electricity station (i think??? and if so… KIRA would’ve been a nice addition to the show, but I digress.) Here are my thoughts. 

- Ah, she’s been cut by those two maniacs who are testing who’s supernatural and who’s not. Poor girl. How do you explain that yo your mum and dad? “Yeah, hi mum - oh don’t worry about this. Some guys just CUT MY HAND NO BIG DEAL.”  - ITS THE CUTE REDHEADED WERECOYOTE PLEASE SAVE HIM FOR ME - He could honestly be the younger brother of Ed Sheeran. They have the same face shape and features (besides the hair) - ew Aaron go die please - I don’t get it. Everyone fears these two boys, the whole fucking school has been attacked by these boys (FRESHMEN BOYS may I add. They are fourteen - - - at least Aaron is. Why aren’t seniors like “wtf dude calm down.”) Anyway, why isn’t anyone going to a teacher? Like Finstock (true MVP) - i’m almost crying, really. This season kind of symbolises oppression and just the behavioral problems in our society. This redheaded boy hasn’t done anything bad. Why does he have to pay for the mistakes someone else did? I’m very sad and angry right now.  - Edgar? Poor guy. Who names his kid (from this time) Edgar? Wait… Ed…gar. Ed. Ed Sheeran. I digress.  - “doesn’t even hurt” continues to literally slice his hand.  - he shouldn’t have washed it off and should’ve gone looking for gauze. oh well. I hope he doesn’t die.   - WAIT. REMEMBER WHEN LYDIA GAVE HER MUM A FILE WITH ALL THE SUPERNATURAL KIDS AND PUT IT IN A DRAWER LIKE THAT SHIT CAN BECOME IMPORTANT.  - Why the fuck would you say your whole family is, Edgar?  - “More than just shift” ??? Travel through time? What do you mean? - “Someone like me?” does his friend know he is also supernatural? -  poor edgar.  - ugh. Nolan.  - It’s interesting how this season they really focus on close-ups. Eyes, sweat dripping down someone’s forehead, et cetera. It’s really interesting.  - “I’m teaching him to protect himself” That’s where school shootings originate from, sweetheart. - you know, I honestly don’t care about Nolan. So… can we go to our OG cast please? It’s been five minutes.  - so… Nolan’s a psychopath.  - WTF I WAS NOT READY WHAT THE FUCK - wait so they don’t know Aaron is behind this? okay… this will be interesting. - Sure Tamara. Why not? Why the fuck not? Why not let a brainwashed fifteen year old boy kill one of his classmates? Cool. - in which nolan realises in what kind of shit he got himself into. - Wait Nolan can drive? Wasn’t he a freshmen? I’m confused.  - lol it’s all planned. I love Mason.  - LYDIA AND MASON BROTP GIMME MOOOORRREEE - “It’s not just a pack” damn straight - thiam i love it. They have more chemistry than Hayden and Liam’s kisses combined. - lol wait they’re hiding in a zoo? why do i find this hilarious. - That was a nice shot. Like Lydia, then focus on glass, then the cut.  - Melissa preaching the truths. - oh I get it now. Liam and Theo distract them, whilst the rest destroys Gerards weaponry.  - Scott’s like “oh shit do I really have a crush on someone who can literally crush me?” #scalia lol - shards of glass, gunshots. Are these “triggers” for Lydia?  - Lydia can literally predict the future - EXCUSE ME HOW DARE YOU TO GIVE A BOW AND ARROW TO FUCKING NOLAN - dude why do you keep the door open? That way they know for certain you’re in there - fucking hell - Liam’s hair is way prettier when it’s loose. He needs to lose the gel, thank you.  - “something around here is triggering you” WHADUPP TITLE REFERENCE  - lol Liam ever the impulsive one.  - But also Nolan like??? That’s like saying “hey i found the mass murderer with a gun in his hand” - oh fuck they’re locked - no. if you kill Liam. I will kill you.  - “when scott falls” “it’ll break all of them” and I think that just at that moment when Scott is about to give up, Stiles will come back to BH. DOB once said that Stiles is the glue of the pack, I think that that is correct. - oh no… only their tattoo… - great. lasers.  - “She wants me to kill you” no shit sherlock - “so kill me if I don’t” my heart fell though. he’s so brainwashed. he didn’t deserve this.  - lol Theo keeping it real. But wouldn’t this prove to Nolan that not all supernatural is bad? Like Theo could’ve easily let Liam be, but he stopped him and urged Nolan to run. Because they’re not here to kill. they’re not killers. I hope Nolan will get that.  - this is some spy mission impossible shit. Tom Cruise would be proud.  - Malia laying on top of Scott

- SCOTT LOOKING AWAY FROM HER AWW - AWKWARD!SCOTT SEASON ONE IS BACK MY FRIENDS - STRONG ASS BITCH MALIA AYYYEE I love this spy movie-esque take this episode has gotten to - Wait what is that gas?  - oh no Lydia… she thinks she’s gonna lose her friends… - Chris Argent, strongest warrior on the pack. I love you. - OH SNAP LYDIA I DID NOT EXPECT THAT (one good thing coming out of mrrish. She did learn how to fight because of him) - FLASHBACK TO PILOT - I feel sorry for Malia. She’s had a rough life.  - I think that was the longest Lydia has ever yelled damn - Wait how did they escape? Theo said that Nolan should run but… like??? how did they??? i’m confused.  - Theo is smart. He should finish high school and get his degree. 

- THEY KISSED - Scott’s smile awwww - Wait. So Scott has kissed Allison, Lydia, Kira and Malia… well.  - lol meanwhile the rest is trying to fix the problem - there are MORE nemetons? Do they want to connect them? Somehow? Perhaps the anuk-ité travels through them, causes fear all around the world so that all humans kill all supernatural. But I don’t think Gerard knows the anuk-ité is out there… - oh wait nvm Chris explains it - Lydia saving their asses once again  - LYDIA PROTECTING MASON - WHOSE HAND WAS THAT - WAIT THATS MELISSA RIGHT - FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed this episode. It started quite slow, only focusing on Edgar and that whole thing. The real episode kind of started at ten minutes, so thirty minutes of real content. I, surprisingly, do like this season. Next up,”Werewolves of London” where we will see our third gay couple on the show: Jackson and Ethan!  

[angelkss]

if i’m being real honest like just a fic of pippa and boris like...... caring? for theo? that would be fucking fantastic. like these two ppl he really loves Loves, just pampering him and showering him with love would be the best. first pippa is this girl he’s revolved around his idea of perfect lover and shit but tbh pippa is an angel and that’s that, even after all his creepy behavior she genuinely still loves him and understands what he’s going through. because like they both have shitty mental health after the museum incident. and then there’s boris, this trashy rat russian boy who absolutely adores theo just crashes into his life. boris the first of most of what he’d done sexually, romantically(?) and gladly going along with it all. boris the boy he’d got fucking smashed with almost every day he spent in las vegas, snacking on saltine crackers and guzzling his dad’s cheap beer. boris this politically fucked kid, with horrid mood swings, and poor impulse control, the guy that made theo’s internalized homophobia go fucking Feral. the boy theo loves. but he won’t say it, because it’s gay. just these two individuals he’s been in love with for most of his life, giving him the care and love he deserves.

[tvd-imagine]

Mood: Addicted to You - Avicii _________________________________________

Sometimes people make deals not knowing where they’re getting in to, you and Theo for example. Weeks ago you asked him a favor, which sounded very simple and innocent by that time but it turned out being the ending of your friendship. You asked him to pretend to be your boyfriend, pathetic, but you needed it… or that’s what you thought.  It was only to make your ex, Liam, jealous so you had to pretend being so in love, with kisses and everything. At the beginning was okay, was fake, but then everything changed, at least to you. The only thing you needed to not do, you did, you fell for him, and he, being the most heartless boy you know, pushed you away completely. 

Y/N: “I know it was wrong, okay? It was stupid, immature and should have seen it coming, but… fuck! I don’t know what to do.” You exclaim desperately.

Stiles: “At least you know…” You give him an angry look. “Sorry, sorry. But, what can I say? I hate the guy, even more now.”

Y/N: “What would you do if you were me?”

Stiles: “Omitting the fact that is Theo, I would try to talk to… her, let’s pretend is a her, and if it doesn’t works out then just… let it go.” He doesn’t looks away from the road since you’re in his car, driving home.

Y/N: “Stiles, I’m pretty sure you’ve given better advices to your friends. I’m your sister, help me!”

Stiles: “I don’t kn- shit!” He abruptly stops the car and you turn your gaze to the road to see a man standing in the middle of it. “Theo?” The man walks away into the woods.

Y/N: “You sure it was him?” You ask while you take off the seat belt. Stiles nods and you open the door. “I have to go, wait.” You run behind him, eventually you get tired and stop. “Theo!” You shout.

“What do you want?” You hear him behind you and you turn around.

Y/N: “I just wanna talk.”

Theo: “We don’t have anything to talk about.”

Y/N: “Yes we do. Theo… I’m sorry I ended up falling for you, okay? I really am, but I couldn’t help it.” He doesn’t say anything. “And… I never wanted you to push me away, I… I miss you so much.”

Theo: “Stop.”

Y/N: “No, just tell me- look at me Theo! Tell me to stay away from you. Look me in the eyes and tell me.” He gets closer to you with a furious look.

Theo: “Stop! Please Y/N, stop.” He places his hands on your cheeks. “I can’t do it.”

Y/N: “Why?”

Theo: “You don’t have a clue about the things you do to me… That’s why I need to stay away.”

Y/N: “Don’t, don’t fight it… please.” Then, impulsed by fear, love and desire you kiss him. And he does too. You set aside first.

Theo: “After that, I won’t ever let you go Y/N.” You smile.

Y/N: “Good. Let’s get out of here.”