#The Last of Us Ellie

[noxsspace]

“i’m gonna be a dad” YES YOU ARE SWEETIE (she unfortunately takes the role of a dad a bit too seriously though iykyk)

[cinelestial]

The Last of Us Season 2 Episode 4 ‘Day One’

[theoddityherself]

The writing for Dina and Ellie in the show has me confused. Like very confused. I don't understand it at all. The way they delivered that pregnancy line. The fact that they just had sex right afterwards. The fact that right before all of this Dina was literally afraid for her life. But they made everyone saying that this relationship was supposed to be slow burn look stupid because that was not slow burn. Thank goodness they didn't give Dina cliche storyline. Thank goodness.

[evesbookshop]

𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐨𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐧!𝐀𝐔 𝐄𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬. 𝐖𝐡𝐨’𝐬 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐤𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐭 𝐟𝐞𝐥𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞

✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀✿

Elementary Ellie, who all but announced that you were her wife a few weeks into sharing the same first kindergarten class. Who dirties up the overalls Joel spends so much time cleaning just to be on her knees while plucking dandelions during recess to bring to you . And harps on and on to Joel about how he can’t forget food for her wife

Elementary Ellie, who stops calling you her wife around 2nd grade and settles for best friends , but god forbid a boy decide he has a crush on you. And you who talks her down while very sweetly rejecting the seven year old boy in front of you. Because well…you’re practically taken.

Elementary Ellie, who’s in fourth grade the first time kids make fun of her for being so protective of you. Who gets called words a kid shouldn’t be. And who sees you blow your top for the first time since kindergarten, because how dare they. (Joel also has a few choice words for the parents of those kids and slips you a 20 when your parents aren’t looking)

Middle school Ellie, who starts to get a little less possessive after that. Who still gets called names but shrugs it off, and who ignores the odd nauseas feeling she gets when a boy asks you out. And who goes home to cry when you get asked to be someone’s valentine and say yes.

Middle school Ellie, who starts distancing herself when she realizes she has a crush on her best friend. Who in the process absolutely shatters your heart, because why doesn’t she wanna be your friend anymore.

Middle school Ellie, who’s doing a really good job at not bothering you and suppressing whatever she’s got going on until she over hears you ranting to a group of girls about how sad you are. how you miss your best friend , and don’t know what you did wrong. She shows up at your house the next day and pulls some lie out of her ass about why she’s been so distant. Who’s little thirteen year old heart flutters when you give her a hug for the first time in weeks.

High school Ellie, who has come to terms with being in love with you. Who thinks she’s doing a really good job at hiding it but the closet has been glass since elementary. Even you know she’s gay, you just haven’t figured out who she likes.

High school Ellie, who gets her first girlfriend sophomore year. Her name is Dina, she’s an angel, and for some god forsaken reason you can’t brings yourself to like her. You yourself don’t even know why. Not till you all end up hanging out in a group of friends and you see the way Ellie’s hand sits on her waist, or pushed the hair out of her face. That’s when you realize, you wish it was you instead.

High school Ellie, who thinks maybe this is her karma for those few weeks in middle school when you start avoiding her. And she’s the one who wants to know what she’s done, hell her chasing you around got so bad Dina dumped her. And while she’s mildly upset, really doesn’t care as much as she should because she misses you instead.

High school Ellie, who backs you into a corner while you’re walking home, not her best look, and asks you why you’re avoiding her. Who takes great offense when you tell her to go hang out with her girlfriend and corrects you saying Ex immediately followed by a “what the fuck is your problem”. And who blue screens when you grab her face and smash your lips into hers before rebooting and breathing you in like it’s the first gasp of air she’s had in her entire life

College Ellie, who shares an apartment with you , her girlfriend. Who’s still a little nervous around you and blushes when you compliments her. Whose favorite place to kiss you is pressed against the wall because it reminds her of the first time. And who can’t wait to make you her wife, again.

[watermelonshine]

BBF ELLIE PLS W SMUT? 🤗🤗

best friend!ellie x reader nsfw mdni

cw: possessive ellie, reader got out of the relationship so it's not cheating, fingering

Ellie and you are best friends, been so since middle school. She used to scare off the kids that tried to mess with you. She used to scare off the jocks that tried to hit on you. Now, she scares off anyone who tries to get in your pants at the club.

Somehow, regardless of her being so protective and possessive of you, you happened to get a boyfriend. He was...good you'd say, you didn't have any prior experiences to compare your relationship with. But you did assume it would be something more than you had expected. He was the first ever person who confessed to you and you being the hopeless romantic you are, you said yes. He treated you well, never tried to pry into your life, was somewhat respectful; he really shouldn't have called your old cat "almost expired", and never asked you to join his occult group meetings, thank goodness for that. And then there was the sex... He was sloppy, but not in the good way. Most of the time, it's just him rubbing on you with the poor attempt to playing with your clit. Thinking about it sent shivers down your spine, it was terrible. You guys have broken up a few days ago, he initiated, stating that he and his group tried to do some weird ass paranormal activity and that it would have an effect on their relationships or some bullshit and he can't risk your life or whatever. You needed to get out of the relationship anyways, he just gave a reason to do so albeit a dumb one. But jeez you spent too much time in that relationship.

Ellie didn't know that nerd from the other class would be a threat. She noticed him around you, staring at you with... something in his eyes, it's hard to say when he had huge glasses on. But she assumed he wouldn't have the guts to come and confess to you. Besides there were bigger threats surrounding you than him, she can't waste her time on that scrawny dude. But oh boy, was she proven wrong. She was almost about to break that boy's nose but then, she heard you say yes.

"Seriously? That guy? Come on now."

"I just want to give it a try, I've never done this before. Besides if anything goes wrong I have you, no?"

Her heart did a flip but she put that aside.

"He looks like he has tentacle porn on his hard drive!"

She wasn't wrong, you did find questionable stuff on his computer when you were looking for some photos. But you brushed that off, you weren't supposed to see it anyways, bringing it up would mean he'd know you were snooping around in his computer.

Ellie hated when he would put his hands around your waist and boast about how beautiful you are.

He didn't even know how to get you off, the fuck is he boasting about?

Ellie hated when you laid on her lap and told her how you didn't feel any sparks around him anymore, if you ever even had the spark with him. She hated that he was the one who was able to wake up next you and not her. She hated the fact he had the right to call you "girlfriend" and not her. She hated the fact that he had the chance to see you naked before her. She tried to keep those limp dicks away from you almost her entire life and somehow, you ended up with the worst of them all. So when you knocked on her door that day and said that you got dumped, she felt a weight off her shoulder- wait did you say he dumped you?

He?

Dumped you?

Over what?

"I spent months even years over him, thinking maybe I help him grow into his full potential. But all these years and he still wasn't even able to please me! What was I even thinking?"

Ellie wanted to ask you the same thing, what were you thinking dating him and not her? What were you expecting from dating someone she definitely didn't approve of? Why did you allow someone else who was not her to even live with you? To see you all day every day? To eat in the same table as you? To sleep in the bed as you? To have you under them?

Poor you never even had a proper orgasm before.

So when she hovered over you with her face few inches away from you, you whimpered at the proximity.

"Shush just let me make you feel like the goddess you are."

You were a gasping mess when she was thrusting her fingers into you. She peppered kisses all over you, your face, your neck, your tits. Gosh the sound you made when her lips brushed over your hardened nipples. You wrapped your hands around her, with your palms digging into her shoulder.

"E-ellie- t-too much-"

"You can take it, I know you can princess."

Fuck you've not felt this way in a long time, and you don't want it to end. You've been deprived for far too long. And it definitely seemed like Ellie really loved your fucked out face, with the way she kept grunting and speeding at every moan you let out. You weren't stupid to let go of the opportunity of allowing Ellie to fuck you stupid.

While you chased your orgasm, Ellie nuzzled her nose at the crook of your neck and peppered kisses all over it. Her fingers still moving to help you get over your high.

"Took you way too long, didn't it?"

Ellie's eyes went wide open.

note : I should really stop writing stuff at ungodly hours, I wrote this at the asscrack of dawn. also I'm back! ⊂⁠(⁠(⁠・⁠▽⁠・⁠)⁠)⁠⊃

[ellieabbyy]

[lorasdolly]

𝚂𝙷𝙴 𝚆𝙰𝙽𝙽𝙰 𝙶𝙾 𝚅𝙸𝚁𝙰𝙻 🌽⭐️ 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛

Ellie sat back against the headboard of the bed, the dew scent of an old motel drowning out all her other senses. She had her hair half up half down, strand pinned to the back, stray pieces framing her face perfectly.

Her sleepy gaze kept still on you, watching as you removed your overcoat, revealing a lacey, black lingerie set. Her eyes never left you and her hand fiddled with the camera right besides her. She had agreed to film you for your videos, driving half an hour to a run down motel. She wore a grey wife-pleaser, highlighting her biceps and all the freckles running down her arms.

Your hair was done and ready for the video, slowly making your way to the end of the bed. "Els', you can start filming." You spoke in a sultry voice, doe eyes set on Ellies'. She ran her tongue across her lips then finally tore her eyes away from you, grabbing the camera in both of her hands. "Yeah? What are you gonna do, babe?" She whispered, slightly raspy.

"Don' worry about it, you'll see." You reply, hands on your hips with a slight tease coating your langauge. A smirk is painted on your lips, watching her work with the camera to turn it on. Her cheeks slightly flushed red simply from imaging what you would do, the pinkish color contrasting with her freckles.

"It's on," She stated with an exhale following suit. She moved her gaze back to you, feeling as if it had been a century without looking at you when it truly was four minutes. You started to crawl on the bed towards her, ass swaying behind you and captured on clip. The seduction in your eyes was deeper compared to the videos you filmed alone, more tension to be seen when Ellie was present.

Her breathing got more heavy, watching as your figure got closer, now climbing to straddle her hips. Your movements were slow, sensual, calculated. You glazed your hands over her clothed chest, cupping her breasts and squeezing slightly. She moaned softly in response, her eyebrows knitting together at every little sensation. "God, babe," She begun, restraining herself from touching your curves and dips. "Wanna touch you so damn badly,"

You giggled, toying with the hem of her wife-pleaser and then trailing it up to reveal her navel. Slowly, your hands continued, lifting it above her chest, no bra underneath to cover her boobs. You fiddled with the hardened nipples, Ellie's and your cunt pulsing at the skin-to-skin contact.

You retrieved your hands, letting her shirt remain in an exposing manner. You now accentuated your own curves, teasingly tracing your fingertips over your body. You slightly lifted the black lace on your body, carefully removing the top part of it. Your arms lifted above your head, stretching your body and throwing the top part of the lingerie to a random corner.

"Touch me, Ellie." You whispered needily, nearly a whimper. Your got her hand within your own, letting the camera only be carried with one hand. She chuckled, "Yeah, babe? Need me to touch you?" She responded, willfully bring her hand to cup the supple skin of your boob, squeezing and kneading it. You bit your bottom lip, eyes fluttering at the feeling of her calloused hands admiring your body reverently.

"C'mon, baby, move your hips..." Ellie spoke, her hand now coming onto your hip, guiding it to grind against her bare tummy. You position both of your hands on her upper stomach, feeling her abs. You used that as a support to keep yourself upright, rocking your hips back and forth against her. Ellie smiled at the scenery, amused by how you pathetically rubbed your covered pussy against her bare stomach.

Ellie's palm on your hip came to toy with the waistband of your matching panties, stretching the elastic to hit back against your pelvis. "Let's take these off, yeah?" She mumbled and you nearly immediately lifted your hips in response. She single-handily pulled the panties off of you, witnessing the slick that had pooled between your thighs. Her finger tips traced the stretch marks on your inner thighs and groaning.

"Shittt, baby." She licked her lips, crashing your body back onto hers forcefully. "This fuckin' messy for me? Such a messy girl," She said with a smile, receiving a small giggle from you. Ellie felt the wetness soaking her navel, she felt the way your clit throbbed against her. Your hands came to unzip Ellie's pants, needing to feel her against yourself. Ellie's free hand came back to hold the camera, allowing you to take the lead for a few moments.

"Ellie, can I? Please?" Your words came out as a babbling mess, glassy eyes making you irresistible to refuse. She nodded, granting you permission. You pulled down her pants along with the girl-boxers she had underneath. You whined at the sight of her cunt ready for you, her hand traveled back to your waist and positioned both of your pussys.

The sensation made your hips stutter, hands grappling with Ellie's waist to balance yourself. You apply pressure against her, moving laboriously to get off from the friction Ellie's moans synced up with your whines and whimpers, "So fucking shameless, babe, moving like a bitch in heat." Ellie rambled words that sat between degradation and praise making your cunt clench around nothing.

You moaned her name repeatedly like a mantra, a string of drool exiting your mouth and landing on Ellie's tummy. She chuckled, moving the hand to your hair and tugging on it. "I got you, baby," She angled her hips so both of you could get the perfect motion, moans and squelching noises echoing throughout the thin walls of the room.

Your legs begun to shake, "Ellie— I'm so close–" She nodded, your orgasms about to simultaneously crash. "Hold on, baby, give it a second," You shook your head at her words, creaming against her cunt at the same time as her. She made sure to help you ride your high, the camera's view slightly shaky.

The moans turn into huffs and pants, the camera shuttering off. Your body collapses against hers and Ellie chuckles, hoisting you up on her, perching you to observe your body. "Look at yourself in that mirror, babe." Her finger tips grab your chin, moving your face to the side to catch sight of the mirror on the wall. "So fucking pretty," You giggled at her praise, cheeks flushed. "Made me feel really good, Els'."

Ellie nodded, spreading your legs further to look at your slightly engorged clit. "Think you can give me another one, babe?" Your narrowed eyes land back on her, whimpering at the overwhelming thought of a second orgasm. But you didn't want to disappoint or distrust Ellie. "O—Okay." You replied briefly, allowing her access to your body.

She roughly pulled your chin to watch her toy with your body in the mirror, eyebrows furrowed. She latched her lips onto your nipple and her hand working mediocre circles on your clit. "El—Ellie, please don't tease," You begged, rocking your hand down against her hand. She kept you still with another hand and bit down on your nipple as a reprimand.

Your back arched, squirming as her tender circles turned into sharper and far more precise ones. She worked at your clit, suckling at your boob, leaving love marks everywhere on them. Your loud moans and tears trickling at your eyes were enough to catch her attention. She released your breast with a 'pop' noise, her hand on your hip wandering to wipe stray tears.

"That's right baby, let go," You nodded with her, getting closer to cumming by the second. "It's too much— Els'—" You whined, cumming all over her hand and squirming back and forth. "Shiiiit—" Ellie had a grin on her face, watching you squirt unknowingly, streams of your climax all over her hand. "Did so good," She spoke gently, letting you actually fall against her body.

Your head hid in the crook of Ellie's neck, "S'embarassing." You mumbled, kissing it softly. Her hands caressed your hair, "Shame we didn't get that on camera, baby. Could've been the next Kim K." You huffed at her teasing.

[sulkenswan]

♱ casual, part i

ellie fucking williams, the girl you've been in love with for years, she who only sees you as casual. no strings attached. but you're tired of pretending it's casual, and she's tired of the feelings.

cw: 2.4k words, inspired by chappell roans single 'casual' slight angst, smut! mdni, 18+, eating out no diner, fingering, semi-public sex? ellie's kinda a dick but she's needy so it's okay

note: hi it's me @taintedpearls but on a new account... thought you might've missed this fic so here it is slightly more edited hope you enjoy it more than before & part ii at 1k notes x

"you're such a loser!" your friend chuckles from beside you at the bar.

you had been staring at ellie, you knew that. she knew that. but she was simply just so... so pretty.

"pfft, no i'm not," you laugh it off, taking a sip from your far too strong drink. eyes lingering on the auburn haired girl a second longer before you hesitantly turn your head back to your friend, failing to notice ellie's eyes immediately looking back at you.

"you still hang around and talk to her? you should know better by now then to get involved with her. i've heard the rumors, you know. she only sees you as some girl to fuck on her couch"

"i'll be fine," you jump in with defense. "it's not like it's serious. it's casual. let me have my fun!" you play slap her, the alcohol in your system starting to take its effect.

"okay, okay," she laughs along with you, taking a sip from your own drink. "i won't get in your way. just.. be careful. you never know with girls like ellie williams."

"wowww, her government name-?"

"mind if i steal her for a second?" you could recognise that voice from a thousand miles away. turning your head ever so slightly, meeting eyes with her, before quickly looking away and giving apologetic eyes to your friend.

"of course," she glances to ellie before looking back to you "i'll see you at home, okay?" she smiles at you, ellie is quick to grab you by the waist and hurriedly push you towards the exit down the stairs.

"ellie? why're you being so pushy? you didn't even thank my friend-!" you begin to protest when she suddenly pushes you up against the stair wall, roughly placing her slightly chapped lips on yours.

you moan into the kiss, allowing your purse to fall by your side as you subconsciously put both your hands into her hair half up half down you thought, she's wanted to do this all night.

"i couldn't stand to see you in that fucking dress any longer without my hands on you," ellie moves down from your lips to your ears, to trailing down your neck. sucking on that one sweet spot, you know there's going to be a purple mark there later. "and you were laughing with her as if she was the funniest person alive." she has one hand around your head, another slowly trailing along the outline of your hips.

"ellie..." you sigh happily, your nails slightly scratching and pulling at her hair. "we... we're just friends." that sentence made you mad. you didnt want to be friends. friends dont do shit like this. friends dont fuck on the regular. friends dont get jealous. at that sentence, she roughly pulls away from your neck, removing her hands from your body, forcing your own hands to be pulled out of her hair. you whine at the loss of contact, chasing her lips.

she's quick to move away, dodging the kiss. "ellie c'mon, please dont be like that," you throw your head back against the stairwell, locking eyes with her.

"baby, no attachment." she reminds you.

"i know."

she looked... needy. she looked desperate. desperate for you.

"ellie?" you question for what felt like the millionth time that night.

"my car. now. please."

and thats where you were. in a more secluded parking spot, knee deep in the passenger seat, dress pulled up and panties pulled down with ellie's tongue working around your pussy as if she was starving. her fingers pushing in and out of your cunt at such a fast pace and it felt so fucking good.

you were a moaning mess. squeezing your eyes tightly shut with your head placed firmly against the headrest. when you began to feel your orgasm approaching, ellie knew it too. from the way your walls were squeezing her two fingers tightly and slowly adding a third one. "look at me baby, or i wont let you cum."

immediately you open your eyes, letting out a few panicked "no"'s, worried that your orgasm would be ripped away from you.

"ellie..." you whimper "please, please can i cum?" you practically beg, falling apart on her fingers bit by bit. your wetness dripping down your own legs.

"how could i say no to a girl as pretty as you?" she briefly lifts her head up before diving back down, working at a much faster pace and showing more attention to your swollen bud, and its not long before you let her overtake your entire being as your orgasm rippled through you. pathetic "thank you's" spilling from your mouth at lightning speed, the girl below you helping you work through your orgasm. detaching her mouth from your puffy clit and reaching up to attach her pink lips to your own. to get you to shut up, of course. her tongue lapping up your liquids.

when you begin to calm down, she slowly starts speeding up her fingers again.

"think you got one more for me?"

it's just casual you remind yourself, looking down at her with your fluids dripping down her chin. casual.

11:02 pm ellie

hey

my dad was asking about u

he was wondering if u wanted to come over for dinner tmrw night

11:36 you

hi ellie!

sure i would love that, what time should i be there?

11:37 ellie

around 6

dont dress too fancy

his name is joel and he's chill, you dont have to bring anything

oh and here's the address ***********

11:40 you

okay! i'll see you there :)

11:40 ellie

see you

"hi mr. miller!" you cheerfully introduce yourself. you wanted to make a good impression on ellies father, taking off your coat and stepping into the house. not forgetting to hand him the surprisingly nice bottle of whisky you had purchased him on your way.

"hey kid! it's nice to finally put a face to the name after hearin' ellie talk my ear off about you." he hugs you quickly before thanking you for the bottle. the southern accent was the first thing you took into account the second he opened his mouth, the second was the words he actually said.

ellie talks about me to her dad? and we're casual?

"joel!" you hear ellie complain from behind the man, he moves out of the doors way, giving you a perfect view of ellie and ellie a perfect view of you.

you had taken her advice, opting to wear some simple low rise baggy jeans and a white shirt that had bows on the sleeves.

"hi baby," she makes her way towards you, abandoning her previous task of setting the table. giving you a kiss on the cheek before grabbing the small bunch of flowers you had also brought for dinner and grabbing your waist. gently leading you over to the table.

your cheeks heat up at this action. casual. its just casual, shes trying to be respectful. respectful around joel.

"how've you been kid? ellie tells me your volunteerin' at a local dog shelter eh?" he makes his way to the old wooden table. ellie nudges you towards him, insinuating you too are able to sit down while she finishes prepping dinner.

"um yeah i have been! honestly its been incredible even if a little hard..." ellie tunes out of whatever your talking about, simply staring at you as you had been to her at the bar only two nights prior.

you were so pretty. too pretty.

and she could already feel herself beginning to drip, she was so fucked tonight.

"foods ready!" ellie announces, pushing the feeling deep down. you stand up and make your way over to her to help bring the array of dishes to the table.

ellie uses this opportunity to whisper in your ear a simple, but desperate,

"i need you."

and you couldnt even think about focusing the rest of dinner.

your entire body was on high alert, ellies hand placed firmly on your thigh and her gaze unwavering whenever joel was asking you a question.

it felt like she was mentally undressing you, imagining all the things she would do to you when dinner was over.

but you werent having it.

it was supposed to be a nice dinner, one night where you two dont fuck and you're able to respectfully meet her adoptive father. but as always, ellie couldnt fathom to see you fully clothed for more than five minutes.

plates were empty and the conversation was starting to die down, this is when the auburn haired girl took the opportunity to stand up from her seat and start collecting plates, you (respectfully) following in suit.

"dinner was lovely mr miller and ellie, thank you so much." you compliment, trying your hardest to be slow and force ellie to wait even longer for your touch.

"of course, you're so kind. oh and please call me joel. it's so nice to see ellie's got herself such a... respectable partner."

you let out a small laugh at his comment, thanking him and starting to wash the dishes.

"oh no no no please let me, you've already done plenty." joel inturrupts, grabbing the sponge and dish from your hands

"oh no its okay really i dont mind-"

"no point in arguing with the old man, he's stubborn as fuck." ellie's voices creeps up from behind you while she loops her arms around your shoulders and rests her head on the top of your own.

"ellie, language!" joel scolds while laughing, making it clear he clearly curses more than he does -- especially based on the conversations the two of you had at the table.

"sure, joel" she huffs, discreetly trying to push you towards her room.

"thank you again joel! hopefully i'll see you before i leave!" ellie lets go of your shoulders and instead, grabs your hand, turning you around and making a run for her room.

"'course kiddo! see you later" the old man chuckles, leaving you and ellie to your own activities.

the minute the door to her bedroom was shut, your lips were already on hers. roughly pushing her up against the sticker filled wood. you remove your lips from her mouth and start kissing down her neck, simultaneously unbuttoning her jeans.

"hey," she says, almost like she's scared you'll stop "what're you tryna do?"

"did you think you were funny when you kept teasing me all dinner?" you ask mockingly, ellie stays silent. she's too lost in the mere thought of you to acknowledge her precious actions.

when she doesn't answer, you pull your hand out of her jeans. she opens her eyes at lightning speed.

"what the fuc-?!" her words are cut short when you drop to your knees, pulling her jeans about midway to her knees. you can see her slick seeping through her boxers.

"all for me ellie?" you giggle slightly, pulling down her boxers as well and allowing the cool air to hit her aching cunt.

"oh shut up... fuck" she moans as you started kitten licking her pussy, you did that for a couple seconds, basking in the moment before she grabbed your head, pushing you in further, indicating she wanted needed more.

so, you did exactly that. going rougher, harder. diving your tongue in and out of her pussy faster and faster. you could barley breathe as she had her hands on the top of your head, pushing you further into her. you copy exactly what she does with you, swirling your tongue around her clit before inserting it back into her clenching hole.

she was on the verge of coming, if her lewd moans and harsh grip on your head weren't sign enough, she started to curl her toes and you could feel her knees on the edge of bucking. she was so close.

"cmon baby you can come" you let her know, removing your mouth from her clit for a second before going straight back in.

tears are leaking from the corner of her eyes while she screams, you cover her mouth quickly, removing a hand from her thigh and shushing her. what are now muffled screams ring throughout your ears while you help her ride out her high.

casual. you just made this girl cum, don't forget your casual. don't fucking forget you're-!

"thanks for that," ellie says, looking down at you while you stand back up again, using the back of your hand to wipe her off your chin.

"um... yeah no worries?" you hesitantly reply.

"you can go now," she's buttoning up her jeans, and you look at her in shock. is she serious right now?

"are you serious?" you voice your thoughts.

"yeah? why wouldn't i be?" ellie's looking back up at you, as if she's done nothing wrong.

you scoff, wiping the rest of ellies fluids off your face and pushing her away from the door, she blocks it before you can leave. please, just let me go.

"hey hey hey what the hell is wrong with you?"

"you want me to leave? well i'm leaving." you bite back

"yeah but like- why're you actin' like your pissed at me?"

"ellie i-" you stop yourself as you can hear your voice raising, you want to be civil. and you know your voice will crack sooner or later. "ellie, i don't know if i want things to be causal anymore."

silence.

"wha-" she stammers "what? that's what we agreed on!"

you start to tear up, "i've heard the rumours, you know. you tell everyone how i come everytime you simply touch me, how im just another girl on your roster you bang on your couch," you point to the grey sofa just a few meters away.

ellie scoffs, running a sweaty hand through her hair in disbelief. how the fuck did you know?

"listen-"

"no. no ellie i can't. i just can't, you invite me over to meet your dad just to get a quick fuck? are you serious?"

ellie's silent again, this time she doesn't know what to say. because she knows the truth, and she knows how fucked up it was of her to do.

her silence, however, is everything to you.

fuck this casual shit.

with tears silently streaming down your face, you make a move towards the door. ellie moves away, and it solidifies your broken heart.

a hand on her doorknob, you say your final words to her "my favorite bra is still in your dresser, by the way. please give back when you can." your voice shakes, as are your hands, and with that you open the door and leave.

and as soon as you do, both you and ellie are broken messes on either sides.

[sarastial]

shower thoughts

──────────────────────

ellie williams x reader

summary: a lazy shower after a slow morning with ellie leads to contemplation of your continuously budding relationship.

(implied homophobia from parents; established lovers)

a/n: not sure how i feel about this one lol ,, i might have to release something else soon to make up for how short it is

──────────────────────

Your hair sticks to the back of your neck and back in wet clumps. The light touch of Ellie’s lips to your skin is soothing as she kisses your shoulder, then the space between your shoulder blades, her mouth just barely grazing your skin.

It was a slow, quiet Saturday. Both of you had woken up in the early hours of the afternoon, and, after a couple more hours of burrowing under the covers like mice, decided to wash off your grogginess in the shower. It was nice, sleeping over at Ellie’s. Sure, her bedroom was always a mess, with comics strewn around the carpet and charcoal somehow smeared across her walls, but that gave it character. It was all so Ellie.

“D’you think we’d still be here even if I didn’t slip you my number at that coffee shop?” you murmur suddenly, barely audible over the sound of the showerhead.

You were feeling thoughtful as it neared half a year together as a couple. It was strange to think back on how you two had met now that you had come so far. After seeing Ellie, a then stranger, a couple of times at your favorite little coffee shop in the city, you had finally decided to bite the bullet and approach her after some hyping-up from a friend. That was back in March of last year. It was December now, and the two of you had been going steady since that summer after your first introduction.

Ellie kisses at your nape silently for a moment. You can tell that she’s pondering your question even if you can’t see her face with her standing behind you.

“Why’re we talking about this?” she asks softly, though not accusatorially. Her fingers come up from your waist to play with the stands of hair at the back of your neck, pushing the hair away from the damp skin and gingerly wrapping the strands around her fingers.

You don’t reply for a long time. You just relish in the feel of your girlfriend standing behind you in that tiny old shower, in the feel of the hot water pouring down against your front from the shower head, burning your skin deliciously.

“I almost didn’t do it,” you finally admit, letting your eyes close and dipping your face slightly so that the scalding water poured over it.

That was the truth. You almost didn’t approach Ellie that day. There were a couple hundred worries plaguing your mind as you had sat at your little table in the far corner of that coffee shop, squeezing your paper cup tight and hashing out the details of how exactly you were going to go about it. At the forefront of your thoughts were your parents and what they would think about their daughter asking out a girl.

That was a worry you had poured over quite a bit last year before you and Ellie first started talking, before she had sat down with you on your worn down couch in your own apartment that one night after you had nervously confided to her and gently told you, “Y’know you’re not obligated to tell anyone anything, right?”

Ellie knows about your struggle with your sexuality, with accepting yourself and with not worrying so much about others accepting you. With your parents and how hard it’s been not being able to be honest with them. The two of you had talked about it before, of course, lots and lots of times.

“I was really scared,” you admit, using your girlfriend’s silence as a cue to continue, “of what it would mean if I approached a girl. Of what it would mean if I approached you.”

“But you did it,” Ellie murmurs into your skin, lifting her face from your nape, “You approached me in the end.”

You nod, mostly to yourself, silent for a moment. “I did.”

Ellie kisses your skin again, nimble fingers rubbing at your naked sides as the water streams over the two of you. You swear to yourself that this is as close to serendipity as you’ve ever been — under the hot stream of the shower-head with your girlfriend, hidden away in her tiny apartment away from the rest of the world. One day, you’ll have the strength to seek out more — holding hands with her outside in front of strangers, kissing her under the rain in the city center, showing her off to your parents — but, for now, you were content.

You turn in Ellie’s arms to face her and study her face carefully, taking in every single detail of it and committing it to your memory — the freckles dotting her rosy cheeks, the scar on her right eyebrow, the slight part of her pretty lips.

“You’re so pretty,” you exhale, eyes darting without purpose as Ellie’s hands move up to brush wet clumps of hair from your cheeks, “I really like you, Ellie.”

Her thumbs rest on your cheekbones, rubbing absentmindedly at the warm skin of your face. “You’re such a dork.”

Ellie’s lashes flutter though, in that way they always do whenever she’s flustered or surprised, even if she’s trained herself to maintain a mellow expression. She swallows, throat bobbing ever so slightly. You almost miss it.

She reaches for the loofah, almost as a distraction, lathering it up in the lemon shortcake scented body wash you had brought over one night because you didn’t like smelling like pine trees. Her hand moves gingerly against your neck, loofah squeezed tight in her grip, then down your bare front. It’s strangely intimate, and you let her lather you up without saying anything, gaze trained to her face. She’s looking down at her hand as she works, but her gaze flickers upwards to meet yours after a while.

“I’m glad you approached me that day.”

Her voice is soft, almost inaudible, and you can tell that her words are genuine. They melt you, and you find yourself leaning into a subtle, barely there kiss. When you draw back, Ellie’s lashes flutter again.

“I’m glad too.”

[dollveis]

☆ ┆ SHE'S A LADY AND I'M JUST A LINE WITHOUT A HOOK. ellie williams — ❝ you can hold my hand if no one's home. ❞

CHAPTER 2 : i wanna be so much more. you help ellie with her studies and you start to grow fond of the auburn haired girl.

quick navigation .ᐟ series masterlist ⋆ next chapter

featuring. college!ellie x afab!reader content warning ! loser!ellie x popular!student, not really any warnings, mostly fluff, ellie is pretty awkward. 5.9k words.

❀ not much happening yet, this is mostly reader and ellie bonding, im just establishing their dynamic for now, from chapter 3 it's where things start to get interesting, trust

The following days pass in a strange, unfamiliar rhythm. People still whisper when you walk past, eyes lingering a little too long, like they're waiting for something, maybe confirmation, maybe denial or just a spectacle but you've mastered the art of not giving people what they want.

What you weren't expecting was Ellie Williams becoming a recurring presence in your life.

At first it's small things, you catch her watching you in the halls, eyes darting away the second you would look back; then it's the way she lingers near the places she wasn't before, the library, the main courtyard, the coffee shop off campus, never close enough to be obvious but obvious enough for you to notice. Then she finally starts talking to you, not a lot, just a word here, a sentence there, awkwardly mumbling ‘hey’ when you pass each other. She never pushes, never forces herself into your space, if anything she seems hesitant, like she expects you to tell her to fuck off at any moment.

You don't and you don't know why. Maybe because Ellie is easy to talk to in a way most people aren't, she doesn't expect anything from you, she doesn't pry into your life or asks questions she has no business knowing the answers to. Maybe it's because, for the first time in a long time, you're curious about someone, so you let it happen.

It's late when you see her again, tucked away in a far corner of the campus library, the space is quieter now, students having thinned out as the night dragged on. You were just about to leave, stretching out the tension in your shoulders from too many hours of studying, when you noticed her.

Ellie is slumped over a table, one hand buried in her already messy hair, the other one gripping a pen like it personally wronged her, a single notebook is open in front of her, pages scrawled with half written notes and little doodles in the margins– guitars, stars, something that might be a dinosaur. She looks miserable and before you can think better of it, you walk over.

Ellie doesn't notice you until you're practically next to her, she startles, looking up in mild panic, like she's been caught doing something she shouldn't, “uh,” she says intelligently.

You raise an eyebrow, “you look like you're in hell.”

Ellie blinks at you, then she glances at her notes like she forgot they were even there. She exhales, slumping forward onto her arms, “feels like it,” she mutters.

You glance at the page in front of her, it's a mess, half of it is indecipherable, scratched out words and arrows pointing at other notes that don't make sense, you take a seat across her without thinking, “what class?”

Ellie hesitates before sighing, “chemistry.”

You look at her, “the one you almost burned down the lab in?”

She groans, dragging her hands down her face, “Jesus Christ, you too? That was like… months ago.”

You smirk, “i'm just saying, not a great record,” Ellie just mumbles something that sounds suspiciously like ‘gonna kill Jesse’ before shaking her head and slumping further into the table. You don't know why, but the sight of her, clearly frustrated and exhausted, makes something in your chest tighten, you're used to seeing people at their best, their most polished. This is different. Real. “Alright,” you say, reaching for her notes, “let me see.”

Ellie stiffens, “what?”

“Your notes,” you say, already scanning them, “Jesus, Williams, how do you even read this?”

The girl next to you looks deeply offended, “hey, my system works.”

“This isn't a system,” you deadpan, “it's literally a crime scene.”

Ellie groans, rubbing her face, “you don't have to help me, y'know?”

You just shrug, “i know,” a beat of silence after your words and then you hear her mumble a quiet ‘thanks’ under her breath but you pretend to not hear it when she says it.

That night something shifts, you don't know what exactly, maybe nothing at all but when you're finally back at your dorm after helping Ellie your phone suddenly buzzes with a new message.

Unknown number

uhh hey it's ellie

i got ur number from the uni gc hope that's okay

It's fine

Unknown number added as Ellie W (uni)

cool cool

also thx for helping me earlier

ure scary smart

You smirk, hovering over the keyboard before typing.

Scary smart?

yeah like intimidatingly

but in a hot way

Your stomach flips at her text.

Did you just flirt with me through text?

attempted

did it work?

You bite your lip, staring at the screen.

Maybe :)

Three dots appear on the screen, then they disappear, then they come back. Ellie is hesitating. You smirk to yourself, settling back into your bed, phone warm in your hand.

fuck wait

hold on

i had something cool to say

give me a sec

Should i come back later??

NO

i got this

Sounds fake but okay

There's another long pause, you can practically picture her, sitting in her dark room, hunched over her phone, probably frowning at the screen like she's trying to solve a math equation instead of, you know, holding a basic conversation.

okay

um

so whats up

You blink, that's it? That's what she spent all that time coming up with?

Wow, that was worth the way

shut up

i panicked

You don't say

look im not good at this okay?

i don't text people

ever

So I'm the first?

… maybe

no actually wait that sounds weird

not like in a creepy way

just like in a normal way

if that makes sense

It really doesn't

fuck

You bite back a smile, turning onto your side, curling into your blankets.

Relax, I'm messing with you

oh

cool cool cool

i knew that

obviously

Obviously

You pause, watching the screen, wondering if she's gonna try again, if she's gonna give up, if she's gonna say something that makes this weird, the thought makes you regret even entertaining this idea.

A new message pops up.

u like music?

No. I hate it.

shit really?

Ellie.

oh wait ure being sarcastic

There you go

fuck off

Your grin widens, this is kind of fun.

What kind of music do you like?

oh umm

i dunno

stuff w guitars???

Wow, such an expert

ill have u know i play guitar

No way

yes way

Prove it

how the fuck am i supposed to do that over text?

Figure it out, Williams

There's a long pause, she doesn't type anything.

brb

You wait, confused, wondering if she's just given up entirely, then, out of nowhere, your phone buzzes with a voice memo. You hesitate before pressing play. There's some fumbling at first, the sound of fabric rustling, something being shuffled around, then a quiet, almost hesitant strum of a guitar. It's not perfect, some notes sound a little off, like she's nervous or playing too fast, but it's nice. Calming in a way.

After some silence, Ellie's voice comes through, soft and incredibly awkward, “uh yeah. So. That's a guitar. That i'm playing. Which is proof that i play guitar. Okay. Uhm. Bye,” the voice memo ends, you stare at your phone and you press play again.

Wow, truly masterful

shut up

No, really. The “uh” at the beginning? Inspired. The “bye” at the end? Groundbreaking

im blocking u

No, you're not

ure right

You bite back a laugh, staring at the screen, feeling something settle into place, something that feels weirdly easy, natural, like you've been talking longer to her than just a few days and some awkward words.

Do you always narrate everything out loud when you're nervous?

no

maybe

fuck off

Thought so

whatever

did u at least like it?

You pause. You could tease her again, could keep the back and forth going, watch her fluster herself into oblivion but then you remember the way her voice had wavered, how she sounded almost embarrassed, like she was second guessing herself even as she played.

Yeah, i did

You're good

────────────────────────────────────

Ellie doesn't text again for a few days after that message, which is… weird, not that you're waiting for it, not that you care but she'd been the one to start texting in the first place, and it's not like you shut her down or anything. So, what? Did she just change her mind? Decide she doesn't want to talk after all? The thought nags at you longer than it should.

By Thursday, you've convinced yourself you don't care.

By Friday, you're still thinking about it.

By Saturday, you're walking back to your dorm after grabbing a coffee when you spot her sitting outside one of the academic buildings, hunched over a sketchbook, a pencil tapping absently against her knee. The late afternoon casts long shadows across the pavement, catching in the strands of her messy auburn hair, her sweater is slightly too big, sleeves pushed up just enough to reveal a tattoo on her forearm and faint ink smudges along her wrist. She doesn't see you, you could keep walking, could ignore the small tug of curiosity in your chest, let her exist in her weird bubble of loser awkwardness. But against all logic, you don't.

“Hey, Williams,” you say, stopping in front of her.

Ellie jerks so hard she nearly drops her pencil, “Jesus— what— hi,” she stammers, looking up at you like she just got caught doing something illegal.

You raise an eyebrow, “that was dramatic.”

She rubs the back of her neck, already avoiding your gaze, “didn't uh— didn't see you.”

“No kidding,” she looks down at her sketchbook, then quickly shuts it as if you were about to snatch it out of her hands, you tilt your head, “you draw?”

Her shoulders shrug, like it's not a big deal, if like she's already prepared for some type of judgment, “kinda. Sometimes.”

You nod, studying her for a beat, then casually take a seat on the bench beside her and she immediately goes rigid but you pretend not to notice, “so,” you say, stretching out your legs, “you gonna tell me why you ghosted me?”

Ellie seems to choke on her own saliva, “what?”

You glance at her, “you heard me.”

“I— i didn't ghost you,” she insists, clearly panicking, grabbing her sketchbook like it was a lifeline.

You can't help but raise a brow, “oh? So you just happened to stop texting out of nowhere?”

She opens her mouth, closes it, open it again, then finally she sighs and mutters, “i didn't know what to say,” her words catch you off guard, you'd expect an excuse, a half assed attempt to brush it off, not honesty. Ellie shifts uncomfortably under your silence, fidgeting with the edge of her sleeve, “you're, like, really good at talking to people. And i'm uh. Not,” she says it almost like a confession, voice quiet, fingers still twitching the hem of her clothes.

Something tugs in your chest, you don't think before you move, you just nudge her foot lightly with yours, a small, barely-there tap. Ellie freezes, like, completely.

You fight the urge to laugh at her reaction, “relax,” you say amused, “i wasn't expecting poetic answers. You can just… talk. Or send tragic voice notes. Whatever works for you.”

Ellie exhales, low and measured, “you didn't mind that?” so quiet you almost miss it.

You shake your head with a soft smile at the corners of your lips, “no, it was cute,” and Ellie looks at you with wide eyes, if like you just told her the sky is green, then, almost instantly, she turns red, shoves her hands deep into her sweater and looks anywhere but you, you bite back a smile. It's actually impressive how red she is, her face flushed to the tip of her ears, like her skin is physically incapable of handling any kind for attention

“I– uh,” she stutters then stops, shutting her eyes for half a second before shaking her head like she's trying to reboot her entire system, “shut up.”

You blink at her, wide-eyed with feigning innocence, “i didn't say anything.”

Ellie scoffs with her eyes still not meeting yours, “yeah, well. You're thinking something.”

As an answer you hum, tilting your head, “maybe," she groans and tilts her head back against the bench, eyes shutting again like she's in actual pain, the reaction only makes your grin widen. “So,” you muse, studying her, “do you just malfunction every time someone's nice to you or is it just me?”

Ellie's head snaps back up, her green eyes narrowing in a glare, “i do not malfunction,” you flick your gaze to her hands, still jammed deep in her pockets, like she's physically restraining herself from doing something embarrassing. Then to the way she shifts in her seat, legs bouncing slightly, like her own body is actively working against her, you raise a single eyebrow, Ellie huffs, “okay, maybe a little.”

You laugh, shaking your head, “you're a bit of a loser.”

“Yeah, yeah,” she mutters with voice low, still flustered and awkward, still so very Ellie. It's weirdly endearing.

You stretch your arms out, tilting your head back to look at the sky, the air is crisp, that perfect in between of autumn-cool, enough to make you tuck your sleeves over your fingers, but not cold enough to be uncomfortable; leaves rustle in the breeze, spinning in lazy circles, across the pavement, the campus hums faintly in the background, distant voices, footsteps, the occasional sound of a car rolling by. The silence between you isn't awkward, it's easy, natural.

Still, you break it, “so,” you say, shifting slightly to look at her, “you drawing anything interesting?”

Ellie tenses subtly, her shoulders tightening, fingers curling inside her pockets, you almost expect her to completely dodge the question, but she exhales and mutters, “not really.”

You give her a skeptical look, “can i see?”

She stiffens, “uh– no.”

You smirk, “that bad, huh?”

Ellie scowls, “it's not bad.”

“Oh?” you lean in slightly, peering over her shoulder, “then, what's the problem?”

She immediately yanks her sketchbook against her chest like it's some kind of top secret government file, “personal.”

You can't hold a laugh, holding your hands up in surrender, “alright, alright, no sketchbook invasions today,” Ellie eyes you warily, as if expecting you to lunge for it at any second, you roll your eyes, “relax, i'll keep your little secrets.”

Another beat of silence, the breeze picks up slightly, carrying the faint scent of coffee from somewhere nearby. Ellie shifts beside you, and you can tell something is brewing in her head, something she's debating whether or not to say.

“I wasn't actually trying to ghost you,” she says quietly, you blink turning to her, Ellie isn't looking at you, her jaw is tight, her fingers twitching against the edges of her sketchbook. She exhales, like forcing the words out is physically painful, “i just– sometimes i don't know what to say. And i figured you probably had like… actual people to talk to.”

Something tugs in your chest, you don't know why, but the words sit strangely, like they hold more weight than Ellie wants to admit, “you're an actual person, Ellie.”

She shifts uncomfortably, staring down at her lap, “yeah but like… you know what i mean.”

You do.

You tilt your head slightly, studying her, it's not hard to piece together what she's saying, what she thinks is obvious. That you're popular, well liked, surrounded by people who actually belong in your life, that she isn't one of them. Which is funny, because for some reason you want her to be.

You nudge her foot again, this time softer, “i meant what i said, you know.”

Ellie hesitates, “about what?”

You meet her gaze, “i wanna talk to you.”

Her throat bobs and barely above a whisper, she says, “oh…” then silence. The wind stirs the leaves, somewhere in the distance you can hear some laughs, Ellie still hasn't moved, for a second you wonder if she's actually broken this time, like full system failure, but then she clears her throat and looks down again, fidgeting with her frayed sleeve, “uh, cool.”

She really is nervous, tapping her fingers against her sketchbook, bouncing her knee, shifting in place like she wants to run but also doesn't want to leave. The movement is restless, jittery, like an animal caught between fight or flight, her entire body radiates nervousness, shoulders hunched, muscles tight.

You watch her for a moment, amused, taking in the way her fingers drum against the worn cover of her sketchbook in uneven, erratic beats. She's always like this, you've noticed, always buzzing, always on edge, like she's just waiting for something to go wrong.

“You always this awkward?” you ask, lips twitching into a smirk, “or is it just me?”

Ellie groans, dragging a hand down her face like she's trying to physically wipe away the embarrassment, “i swear i used to be normal.”

You raise a brow, tilting your head, “used to be?”

She hesitates, mouth twitching as if she's debating if she should be honest. With a resigned sigh, she mutters, “okay, maybe not normal but like… less of a fucking disaster.”

You snort, shaking your head, “well, i think it's cute.”

Ellie chokes, like full on chokes. A sudden, violent cough that nearly knocks the wind out of her, she sputters, hacking into her sleeve, her grip loosening on her sketchbook enough that it almost slips from her lap, her entire face goes bright red once again.

For a second, you actually think you might need to call for help, “Jesus,” you laugh with wide eyes, “breathe, Williams.”

The girl waves you off, still coughing, trying, but failing, to regain composure, “i'm– fine.”

You smirk, taking a sip from your coffee, “if you say so.”

She exhales through her nose, shaking her head, “you really need to stop saying shit like that.”

“Why?”

Ellie finally looks at you again, cheeks still tinted with pink, lips parted like she wants to say something but thinks better of it. Her eyes flicker before she drops her gaze, rubbing the back of her neck, “because,” her voice quieter now, “some of us don't have the mental stability to handle it.”

“Good to know.”

She groans, slumping against the bench, like she's trying to disappear into it, “i hate you.”

You just smile, watching the way she avoids your eyes, watching the way she fidgets with the hem of her clothes. For a while neither of you say anything, it feels nice and comfortable.

Ellie isn’t fidgeting as much anymore. She’s still tense in that way she always seems to be but there’s a difference now, a slight shift, like she’s settling, even if just a little.

You check your phone, a message from Hana popping on your lockscreen, asking you to go back to the dorm, you sigh, shoving your phone back into your pocket, “i should go.”

Ellie sits up slightly, posture stiffening, like she wasn’t expecting that, “oh. Yeah. Right.”

You stand, slinging your bag over your shoulder, “try not to die of embarrassment while I’m gone.”

Ellie glares, but there’s no real heat behind it, “no promises.”

You laugh, stepping away, tossing one last glance over your shoulder, “see you around, Williams.”

Ellie hesitates, “…see you.”

You turn, heading toward the dorms building, the sound of your footsteps fading as you disappear into the crowd. Ellie watches you go, the way you move, the way you disappear into the blur of students, the way you didn’t hesitate when you said see you around.

Her fingers tighten around the edges of her sketchbook, her heart hammers against her ribs.

What the fuck is she supposed to do now?

──────────────────────────────────

You don’t hear from Ellie for the rest of the day, not in person at least, she lingers in your mind, though. The way she fumbled over her words, the way she reacted to the smallest bit of teasing, how she looked at you like she couldn’t believe you were actually talking to her, it’s funny, in a way. She’s so awkward, so bad at hiding how flustered she gets, but there’s something about her that keeps pulling your attention back.

By the time you’re back in your dorm, laptop open, trying to focus on notes for your upcoming test, you realize you’re waiting.

For what, exactly?

Your phone buzzes, and you don’t even have to check to know.

so

uh

hey

You fight a smile.

Hey

uh

how’s ur night

It’s fine

Studying

You?

same

Are you actually studying?

kinda?

does it count if i’m staring at an open textbook but not actually reading anything

Not really

shit

ok

well

i’m trying that counts for something right

Sure

There’s a pause, a long one, you assume the conversation is over since Ellie isn’t exactly the type to keep things flowing effortlessly but then your phone vibrates again.

do u wanna help me?

again…

Help you how?

with studying

y’know like the other day

since ur smart as hell and i’m dumb as fuck

I thought you were trying

i am

it’s just not working

That’s tragic

it really is

thoughts and prayers

Fine

But if I help you, you actually have to try

No half-assing it

deal

when

You glance at your schedule, thinking.

Tomorrow. Library, after class

ok

cool

yeah

see u then

Try not to fail before then, Williams

Ellie doesn’t answer right away, when she finally does, it’s short.

no promises

You put your phone down, smiling to yourself before getting back to your work.

──────────────────────────────────

The next day moves at its usual pace, classes, assignments, the endless rhythm of routine but there’s an undercurrent of anticipation beneath it all. You don’t acknowledge it outright, don’t let it settle too deeply in your thoughts, but it lingers at the edges, an unspoken thing that refuses to fade. Ellie Williams.

You’re going to see her after class. Alone. And it shouldn’t be a big deal, it really shouldn’t be. You’ve helped people study before and you've helped her before, you’ve spent late afternoons cramming for exams with friends, tutoring classmates who needed a little extra help, staying late in the library to go over notes with someone who begged for a last-minute review session. It’s normal, something you’ve done a hundred times before but this feels different this time. Maybe it’s the way Ellie looked at you yesterday, like she wasn’t sure if you were real, like she expected you to disappear if she blinked too long, or the way she texts, so hesitant, so careful, like she’s constantly waiting for you to decide she’s not worth the effort.

She intrigues you. You’re not sure why, but she does.

By the time your last class ends, the quiet weight of the library calls to you, you shift your bag over your shoulder as you walk through the door, the scent of old paper and printer ink familiar in a way that feels grounding. The hum of hushed voices drifts through the aisles, the occasional rustle of a turning page filling the space between them, you scan the room, eyes drifting past occupied tables, past students hunched over laptops and stacks of books, until you see her.

Ellie is already there, she’s easy to spot, tucked away near the back, hunched over a table like she’s trying to disappear into it. Her sweater is slightly too big, the sleeves bunched around her wrists, the fabric worn soft from years of use, a battered notebook sits open in front of her, but she isn’t even pretending to look at it. Instead, she’s flipping a pen between her fingers, staring off into space with an expression that’s equally distracted and vaguely troubled.

You approach, setting your bag down with a quiet thump before sliding into the chair across from her, “you look so studious right now,” you tease.

Ellie startles, her pen slipping from her fingers, it clatters against the table, rolling toward you before coming to a stop near the edge. For a second, she just stares at it, then at you, then back at the pen, like she’s trying to process what just happened, “uh,” she clears her throat, straightening slightly, “yeah. Totally.”

A smirk tugs at your lips as you pick up the pen, twirling it between your fingers, “i can tell you’re working very hard.”

Ellie shifts in her seat, rubbing the back of her neck, she looks guilty, like a kid caught sneaking candy before dinner, “i was, uh– about to start.”

You lean forward slightly, placing the pen back in front of her, your voice laced with mock sternness, “good, because if i’m wasting my time, i’m going to be very disappointed, Williams.”

Ellie swallows, “right. Yep. Got it. No time-wasting.”

You raise an eyebrow, “so, what do you need help with this time?”

Ellie exhales sharply, shifting her attention to her notebook, she flips a page, then flips it back, Hesitates, “um. Well. Pretty much… everything?”

You sigh, resting your chin in your palm, “Ellie…”

She winces, “okay, okay. Specifically? Chemistry again. And maybe… some math, and also, like, writing essays. But other than that, i’m totally fine.”

You stare at her, “so… everything.”

Ellie groans, slumping forward onto the table, “i’m so stupid.”

You roll your eyes, nudging her book toward her, “you’re not stupid, you just don’t try.”

She peeks up at you from where her head is buried in her arms, her voice muffled, “i do try,” you give her a look, “…okay, i try sometimes,” she corrects, lifting her head just enough to meet your gaze.

You smirk, pushing your own notebook toward her, “then let’s start now,” Ellie stares at it like it might catch fire in her hands.

“…Right,” she mutters, picking up her pen, “starting now.”

The first twenty minutes are painful.

Ellie can’t sit still to save her life, she shifts in her chair every few seconds, adjusting her position like the fabric is bothering her, she messes with her sleeves, rolling them up just to pull them back down again, her fingers tap erratically against the table, first a steady rhythm, then an impatient drumming. Every time she stumbles over an answer, she rubs the back of her neck, muttering something under her breath and through all of it, she keeps sneaking glances at you, like she’s waiting for the moment you’ll finally snap, shove your books into your bag, and leave her to figure this out alone.

You obviously don't, instead, you slow down, breaking the concepts into manageable pieces, rephrasing things when she stares at you blankly. She listens, kind of. Her eyes are on you, but you can tell half her focus is elsewhere, you catch her zoning out more than once, gaze fixed on your mouth rather than the equations in front of her.

After the fourth time she does it, you sigh and lean back in your chair, “Ellie.”

She straightens so fast it’s almost comical, like a kid caught slacking off in class, “yeah?”

You narrow your eyes, “did you hear anything i just said?”

Ellie blinks, and for a second, you swear you can see the exact moment her brain scrambles for an answer, “uh,” a pause, “yes?”

You tilt your head, unconvinced, “then explain it back to me.”

Ellie’s mouth opens, closes, she glances down at her notes where she’s written barely anything, then back up at you, “so…” she drags out the word, stalling, “the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell?”

Silence. You just stare at her, Ellie swallows, then gives you a weak thumbs-up.

You drop your head into your hands, “Jesus Christ.”

Ellie groans, dragging her palms down her face before slumping back in her chair, “i suck at this.”

“You don’t suck,” you mutter, rubbing your temples, “you’re just easily distracted.”

Ellie immediately sits up, offended, “i’m not distracted,” you arch a brow, “i’m not!” she insists, a little too quickly, she gestures vaguely at her notebook, where she’s written a grand total of three lines, “i just– my brain works different, okay? Like, sometimes i get it, and then other times my brain just says, nah, not today.”

You watch her for a moment, considering. She’s frustrated, more than she’s letting on, you can tell in the way her fingers tighten around her pen, the way she avoids looking directly at the textbook, like it’s mocking her. She wants to understand this, she’s just struggling to connect the dots.

With a sigh, you flip to a fresh page in your notebook, “alright, let’s try something different.”

Ellie watches as you start writing, her body leaning in slightly, like she’s trying not to seem too interested, her eyes flicker between your handwriting and your face, brow furrowing in concentration.

A minute passes before she mutters, almost like she doesn’t want to admit it, “…that actually helps.”

You glance up, surprised, “yeah?”

Ellie nods, then hesitates, “you– you don’t have to do all this, you know. I know you’re busy.”

You shrug, “i wouldn’t be here if i didn’t want to be.”

Ellie stares at you like she doesn’t quite believe it and bruptly, she looks away, ears turning pink, “oh. Cool.”

You fight back a smirk. She’s such a loser.

The next hour is… easier. Ellie still struggles, still groans dramatically every time she gets something wrong, but at least now she’s trying, she asks more questions, actually engages instead of letting her brain shut down completely. She fidgets less, too– still restless, still awkward, but at least she’s not actively trying to crawl out of her own skin.

By the time you both decide to wrap up, the library has emptied out significantly, the sun has set outside, the sky a deep navy, the overhead lights making everything feel quieter.

Ellie stretches her arms over her head, groaning, “i think my brain is officially fried.”

You smirk, gathering your things, “then my job here is done.”

Ellie watches as you sling your bag over your shoulder, rubbing the back of her neck again but this time, it’s different, like she wants to say something but can’t quite bring herself to.

You tilt your head, “what?”

She hesitates, “uh. Just– thanks. For, you know. Helping me not fail.”

You roll your eyes but smile anyway, “you’re welcome, Williams.”

Ellie ducks her head, shoving her books into her bag like she suddenly doesn’t know what to do with her hands, “guess i owe you one.”

You glance at her, amused, “you owe me two already.”

Ellie groans, dragging a hand down her face, “ugh, don’t remind me.”

You laugh softly, then gesture toward the exit, “c’mon, let’s get out of here before they kick us out.”

Ellie follows you out into the night, the cool air hitting your skin as the library doors shut behind you, for some reason, you don’t mind her company.

The air outside is crisp, the warmth of the day fading as the evening settles in, a cool breeze moves through the trees, rustling the leaves, carrying the faint scent of earth and distant cigarette smoke. The sky is caught in that in-between shade of blue, no longer the soft hues of dusk but not quite the full weight of night either, streetlights flicker on one by one, casting long, pale pools of light onto the pavement.

The two of you walk side by side, footsteps slow, unhurried. The quiet hum of campus fills the space between you, muffled voices from a group somewhere in the distance, the occasional car rolling past, the rhythmic clicking of someone’s bike chain as they pedal by.

It’s not an uncomfortable silence exactly, but there’s a weight to it, like something unspoken lingers in the air.

Ellie shoves her hands into her pockets, shoulders hunched, head ducked slightly forward, she looks weirdly tense for someone who just survived an hour of studying.

You glance at her, eyebrow raised, “you good?”

Ellie startles slightly, like she hadn’t expected you to say anything, which is ridiculous considering you’ve been talking to her for the past hour and a half.

“Oh,” she exhales, her breath visible in the cooling air, “yeah. Just–” she tips her head back slightly, gazing up at the sky, watching as the last traces of daylight bleed out into the dark, “i don’t know.”

You arch a brow, “that’s specific.”

Ellie huffs out a quiet laugh, low and breathy, “i mean, i just– it’s weird, i guess.”

“What is?”

She hesitates, then shrugs, “this. You. Hanging out with me.”

You blink, “we weren’t hanging out.”

Ellie scoffs, shooting you a look, “okay, well, you were helping me not fail, and I was making it as difficult as humanly possible. But still.”

You smirk, “you really think i’d waste my time if i didn’t think you were capable?”

Ellie makes a face, something between disbelief and mild panic. You can see the exact second your words register because the tips of her ears turn pink.

“I—i guess?” she clears her throat, looking away, kicking at a stray pebble on the sidewalk, “but, like, you didn’t have to. You could’ve just ignored me.”

You roll your eyes, “Ellie, you asked for help. I helped you. That’s how this works.”

“Yeah, but…” she hesitates again, dragging the toe of her shoe against the pavement, “you’re, like, you.”

You frown, “what does that mean?”

Ellie shifts, suddenly looking like she regrets speaking at all, “y’know,” she gestures vaguely, “you’re cool. And, like, normal.”

You stop walking, “Ellie.”

Ellie stops too, blinking at you, “what?”

“You do realize you’re a person, right?”

She furrows her brows, “Uh– yeah?”

“And that you’re not some loser at the bottom of the social hierarchy?”

Ellie’s expression twists, like she definitely doesn’t agree with that but isn’t sure how to argue it either, “i mean…”

You narrow your eyes, “Jesus Christ.”

Ellie rubs the back of her neck, “okay, I hear you, but also– ”

“Shut up, Williams.”

Ellie opens her mouth, then shuts it again, “…okay.”

You shake your head, amused, and start walking again, after a beat, Ellie follows. This time, the silence between you feels easier, the walk back is slower, more natural, the tension from before unraveling into something almost comfortable. Every now and then, you catch Ellie glancing at you like she wants to say something, but she never does.

By the time you reach the point where your paths split, she hesitates, shifting on her feet, the streetlight above flickers slightly, casting shadows across her face.

“So, uh,” she scratches absentmindedly at her forearm, eyes flickering to the ground, “guess i’ll see you in class.”

You nod, “yeah.”

Ellie hesitates again, then, in a rush, blurts out, “I’ll—i’ll text you. If i need, uh. More help.”

You smirk, “you mean when you need more help?”

Ellie groans, tipping her head back dramatically, “ugh.”

You laugh, taking a step back, “night, Williams.”

Ellie grumbles something under her breath, but she lifts a hand in a half-wave before turning, heading in the opposite direction. You watch her go for a second, then shake your head, a smile tugging at the corner of your lips.

What a fucking loser.

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taglist!! : @ph4rmacyfa1rie @yasmilks @xaaaavleg @elliesgffrfr @sparkle-jump-rope-queen @liztreez @robinphobia @vahnilla

[hazelistired]

I CAN’T BREATHE

-this belongs to @/daisical7 on tiktok

[pascals-doll]

“dont make a fuckin sound, hands up”

ellie williams x reader

🫧 yes, i lowk tweaked out when she said that before proceeding to kill the woman but i-

🫧 i had originally titiled it dont say a word cause i thought what she originally said was too long of a title BUT FUCK IT THAT SHIT MAKES MY PUSSY THROB

🫧 description: outbreak ellie! joel isnt dead teehee, smut smut SMUT lesbian smut, ellie being rough, fingering, oral sex (both reciving), bonadage with a flannel (reader recieving), finger sucking/gagging?, no mentions of y/n just pet names like princess, doll, pretty, and babe

you were dripping, your own juices trailing down your thigh….

how did you end up in this predicament exactly?

You went to Joel’s house, simply because he asked you to come over and help ellie out in the stables in the morning.

you arrived and greeted Joel, telling you that Ellie is upstairs.

The second you open that door, you were not safe. not for a second.

youre hand turns the knob, the door slightly opens to reveal no one in your view yet.

“Ellie?” you call out, slightly peeking.

you’re suddenly slightly pushed in, door closing shut simultaneously before youre swiftly pushed up against a wall.

your body had no choice but to go along with the jerking of each movement.

you were shocked slightly but by the non-aggressive behavior behind it, you knew who it was before even being against the wall.

“hi pretty” ellie says softly, hastily laying yet the softest kisses on your neck.

“oh, i see someone was definitely ready to see me” you joke, as you slightly pull her back to pull her in for a kiss. yet a kiss, led to her cupping your ass.

“lock the door” you mutter in between the heated lip-locking.

ellie locks it, wasting no time in scooping you up with all her strength and leading you onto her bed.

you pull away from the heated kiss momentarily.

“babe, Joel is right down-” you began to softly say before ellie placing a finger on your lips, shushing you.

she gives you a mischievous smirk before lowering her head in between your chest.

you can’t help but let out a soft sigh of relief as your squirm around under her hold.

“you missed me princess?” ellie mutters softly now undoing your bra clasps, straps falling off your shoulders revealing your perky chest.

you slightly shrug your shoulders so the bra falls off graciously completely.

ellie wasted no time in attacking your hard nipples and soft plush skin of your tits.

your hands made their way through her soft short brown locks, slightly tugging causing her to wrap her tongue around your right nipple, palming the left one.

“dont make a fuckin’ sound, hands up” ellie says in a stern yet calming tone, yet enough to make your heart race and back arch.

her hands grabs ahold of your wrists, putting them above your head.

ellie quickly grabs one of her flannels that was laying on her bed, grabbing it and rolling it slightly to tie around your wrists.

“is that good, doll?” she reassures lowly, you swore you couldve let out a purr with the shiver she sent down your spine.

you lift your hips up to brush up against hers “lets take these off, yeah?” she teases as you evidently get impatient.

“ellie baby, please” you coo out, moving your arms from the position they were even if they were tied together.

“nuh-uh, keep them there.” she says, looking up at you through her hooded stern eyes. she begins to undo the button of your shorts, zipper following quick after.

you raise your hips as she slides them down your legs, she grabs each of your thighs, pulling you closer to her and spreading your legs farther apart to reveal the pathetic wet patch seaping through your panties.

“seems like im not the only real excited” she teases with a sly smirk.

you grow pink and shy, trying to shut your legs but her hands quickly pulling them back to their original position “no need to get all shy doll, you look gorgeous like this” she says lovingly, before lowering herself so she can peck your thighs teasingly.

you were hot, you’re entire body felt like it was on fire with each kiss, touch, and word that came out of ellie just made you feel engulfed in a flame.

you’re mind felt hazy as she inched closer and closer to your pussy, making you squirm even more within her embrace.

“please el, please” you whine out.

“please what?” she teases, smiling at you, bringing two fingers to rub your wet folds through your panties.

“please fuck me-fuck me, ellie” you whine out, maybe a little too loud. ellie wasnt so pleased this time.

“what the fuck did i say?” she says before sucking harshly on both titties as she removed your panties quickly as her two fingers finding your pussy.

you let out a pressed shut whimper as your lips are pressed together in pure bliss of finally being rewarded by her.

“t-to not say a word” you say in a delicate tone, it made ellie spiral at how vulnerable you looked.

“ima make you feel so so good, princess” ellie coos, her hand caressing your face then going to cares your tits as her tongue swipes a long line along your juicy folds.

you continue to press your lips shut as soon as ellies tongue fucks you relentlessly.

the sensation of ellies tongue running all along your clit in a circular motion while sucking ever so slightly will have your back arching every fucking time and she knows it.

ellie with both hands pushes your legs up to your chest to get full exposure of your pussy. you bit your lip so aggressively, you swore you couldve bled, biting back the loudest moan possible.

you could feel ellies eyes on you, watching you from the crevess of your cunt and both legs. she smiles as she takes one hand and within no time, she has her middle and ring finger sliding inside of your pussy.

youre eyes roll in pure bliss as you lift your hips to meet closer to her tongue, you struggle in not wanting let everyone outside and Joel know youre getting slutted out in ellie’s bedroom.

“doing s’good pretty” she praises as she fucks her fingers into you nonstop and moving her tongue away.

ellie’s face finally meet yours making you lean up for a kiss hungrily, your lips meet together in perfect moving in sync.

ellies fingers continuing to ease you to you closer and closer to your orgasm.

you let out the softest whimpers against her lips, ellie swears she could listen to you make those noises like the music that plays in her headphones like nothing.

ellie pulls away causing you to let a little frown settle upon your face but being quickly replaced with your jaw loosening and back arching by the vigorous rubbing of your clit by her thumb as her fingers get wetter.

your mind gets hazy as no words fall out but heavy pants and breathy whines

“good girl, c’’mon cum doll” ellies praises were enough to send you over the edge.

you dig your nails into her arm as you cant help but slightly shake “mmhm, thats what i like to see” ellie whispers to herself as she slides her white coated fingers out of you.

“open” she says, you open your mouth taking in her fingers and sucking softly.

you keep eye contact as you taste yourself on her fingers.

“my turn” you say, all done cleaning off her fingers causing her smile as you quickly pull down her sweatpants and quickly switching positions.

you lay ellie down as your lips meet hungrily.

you pull her panties down, she was just as wet, if not even more.

“youre such a good girl for me” ellie mutters, admiring the site of such a beautiful sight infront of her, you in between her legs.

you love each praise that leaves her lips as you inch closer to her pussy, immediately attaching your lips softly to her swollen wet clit causing her to groan out a “fuck” it was little loud.

just like that, a knock on ellie’s door.

you move your head up and look at her in panic.

“is everything good in there girls?” Joel says loudly, concerned sealed into his tone.

“y-yeah! i got a wound and shes helping me clean it! we’ll head to the stables soon!” ellie yells back, giving you a look of panic and hope.

“okay, unlock the door once youre done.” he says before you hear his steps walking away from the door.

you both let out a fit of giggles.

“lets continue you this after?” you suggest, mischievously smirking.

[dohawee]

When did that happen and why do I feel like this?

[good-griief]

losing game pt. 1

HEYYYY i'm actually back with a lil smutty angsty ellie fic bc i needed to write for this woman... anyway here's part one its only a lil angsty i just wanted an excuse to write rly gay smut so enjoy and p2 tmrw!!

as most of yall know any reader i write (as a poc writer) has no race, i just wanted to use a picture of taylor momsen bc i love tpr and that's definitely the vibe of the music in this fic

part two part three

read me click me

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Being in the rock scene was your dream. You started with small gigs, then small venues and festivals, and now you had a band to go along with your music. Your career was kicking off and it felt like heaven; every performance, every song, all the adrenaline made for some of the best nights of your life. 

When you picked your band, you hand-selected each member, and to say you picked your guitarist for any reason other than how pretty she was would be a lie. Yes, she was amazing, but you also couldn’t speak when she walked in for her interview. She just smiled, laughing at the way you stared at her before your manager started talking for you. He often did, she came to realize. 

She still accepted the moment you offered her the position, but she made it clear that she didn’t like your manager. She accepted for you; to be with you.

And she slowly became your favorite part of performing. You had this way of connecting with each other — of course, you were close with all of your band members, but she was different. You’d spend time together one-on-one, smoking a joint and talking about nothing until one of you had to force yourself to go. You’d get coffee together, have dinners, and even spend the night at each other’s apartments. Whenever someone asked about you two, you said you were best friends. Even when she was waiting for you at the end of the carpet, and you both laughed at your answer like it was some kind of inside joke. 

Even when you were onstage, on your knees, singing your most sensual song to her as she melted to your level, smirking as her hips thrust against the electric guitar. Sometimes, she even sang with you. You’d hold her face, or thread your fingers through her hair as you held eye contact or rested your forehead against hers with shut eyes, and if there was a break in the song you’d kiss her hard — a stage kiss that the crowd would erupt in cheers over. But they happened offstage, too… after a shared joint or during a party. Nothing more.

She’d let you place your fingers on the strings of her guitar to find the chords as you stood behind her, her head leaning back on your shoulder in a way that showed the muscles on her neck as she breathed in heavy, hot breaths. She let you wrap your hand around her throat, groaning in your ear as fans caught pictures of you dragging your tongue over her sweat-ridden jaw or biting her shoulder as she grinned. 

There was one night you let her take over the mic as you danced along. She played her guitar, singing and watching you until you sang with her. Your hands drifted down her thighs as you kneeled behind her, the crowd screaming as you lifted her shirt and came around to kiss the line of hair below her belly button. She smirked, stopping her playing and fisting your hair to pull your head back as you laughed. 

Nights when you’d take off your shirt, tossing it into the audience and pouring your water on yourself before she came to lick it up, tongue dragging over top of your breasts as you sang breathlessly. There were times she had to wrap her arm around your back to keep you standing when she did that, the action so intimate, so arousing, that it was hard to remember why you were on stage and not in your dressing room, alone with her. Some nights she’d take her shirt off and give it to you if she didn’t want anyone else to see you, smiling at you with her shirt on before you came over to kiss her cheek. 

There were moments with other band members, but none of them were like her. They didn’t make you feel the same — none of them were her. 

So, when the end of her contract came up and she talked to you about leaving to pursue other things, you were devastated. You didn’t think she’d leave, but after a talk with your manager, her decision was set. 

“I think you should,” you told her anyway. “Whatever makes you happy, Els, seriously. I’ll support whatever you do.” She smiled, taking your hand to kiss. On the inside of her fingers, and yours, you could see the matching tattoos you got months ago, threading your fingers together so they match up. 

You dedicated your last show with her to her. It was a surprise, and she cried when you said it in the beginning, but she just turned away to shake it off quickly. At least, she did until you started crying during a song you wrote for her — it was another surprise from you and the rest of the band, but the minute she saw you crying she couldn’t keep it together. She came over to hug you, kissing the top of your head as she let you hide your face in her chest. The crowd awed, but Ellie took the mic to say you’d be back. She set it down and lifted your head to make you look at her. “I love you, pretty girl,” she said, away from the microphone so no one heard her, but they could sound it out if they wanted to. “Please don’t cry.” She wiped beneath your eyes, ignoring the camera flashes and screams from the crowd. “I hate that I can’t do anything about it right now.”

You smiled. “I’m gonna miss you so much.” 

She laughed at you. “It’s not like I’m going anywhere.” She nodded to the microphone. “Finish my song, I wanna hear the rest.”

“You’re an idiot,” you said, now standing at the mic and making the audience laugh. 

You were such an idiot. 

She never told you what other things she wanted to pursue, but you should’ve known. 

Of-fucking-course she was pursuing her own music. Of-fucking-course she was starting her own band. With yours. Of-fucking-course all of their contracts ending over the course of a few months would amount to this. Of-fucking-course each last show you dedicated to them meant nothing. 

You couldn’t even be mad. It was smart. But you were beyond hurt. 

And she still dedicated her first show to you. She texted you herself, asking you to come. 

When would you learn your lesson?

“I just want to thank you guys for coming,” she said to an audience of mostly your fans. “You might know me — us — from a backup band, but we got a little tired of being backup, didn’t we?” The band laughed. “So, uh, my name’s Ellie if you don’t know… probably don’t,” she laughed as if you’d never thanked or introduced your band before. “And I just want to dedicate this show to the previous artist I worked with. I wouldn’t be here without her, so she means… a lot,” she said it so fucking snarky, “to me, and… I have a few songs for her… if you all wanna guess which ones they are.”

And her first song was the biggest Fuck You song you’d ever heard. 

Still, she texted you after the show. 

She didn’t ask you to come to another show, and maybe that was because you announced a break from music, or because she was getting so much attention that she didn’t care. You saw her at award shows sometimes, and she would cheer when you won. Of course, you’d cheer for her too, but it never went beyond that. Almost like it was an unspoken rule that you weren’t on speaking terms. 

But the minute you came back to the scene, almost a year later, she texted you for the first time since her first show. 

You didn’t reply at first. You hadn’t kept up with her at all during your break, your manager telling you to stay away from any of her and her band's promotions and interviews. He had you block all of them and their numbers, but you couldn’t bring yourself to block Ellie’s. And you were glad you didn’t. Usually, you didn’t have your phone on you until late at night, your manager having your assistant handle your messages and social media, but you were about to fall asleep when she texted. As if she remembered your schedule. 

And it prompted you to look her up. Then her and you, and you could see countless videos. 

every time ellie has mentioned “her” compilation was what you decided to click on. It was made by an account that was clearly a big fan of hers, so you readied yourself for any hate that’d be thrown your way. 

The first clip was an interview, asking her why she split from your team. “You know, I really loved her and her team,” she said, “still really love her. It’s just hard being reminded, constantly, that you're a stepping stone and your time is running low, you know? We might’ve held her back if we stayed, and she was moving on to better things,” it sounded like she was quoting someone else. “—I mean, she always wanted us to shine, and I’m so grateful for her. I really miss being on stage with her, but I don’t miss anything else besides her and I think that says a lot.” 

Another was on her way into a hotel, a reporter asking if you congratulated her on an award. You could remember seeing her at the show before your manager called you over just as she was walking your way. She laughed, “haven’t talked to her in months.” 

Another of a sit-down interview with the whole band, your name being brought up and Ellie snapping at them, “You know I really wish people would stop asking me about her.” She got choked up as the others answered, nose reddening when the question finally circled back to her. “We’re not friends, we don’t talk, she doesn’t want anything to do with us, so...” She shrugged, pissed off. 

The next was another interview. It seemed she was just having to get used to being asked about you. “I’ve tried to reach out,” she said, “maybe she changed her number.” 

Another. “She was my best friend, I miss her a lot. I hope she’s doing okay.” 

And another, asking about her songs. “Yeah, I wrote a lot about her — No, I don’t regret it. I feel like it reflects a moment in time, you know? It was a really nice moment — I mean, I still have our matching tattoos,” she laughed, showing the tattoos on the insides of her fingers. 

Another, after a show. She was always emotional after shows, and it made it harder to watch as she wiped her eyes when the interviewer asked what your relationship really was. “I don’t fucking know,” was her answer before she walked away. 

Some of them were sweet, memories you shared that made you laugh. Others made you sick with guilt, like when she mentioned your lack of response or you blocking the band. Some just made you sad. And you felt like an idiot for doing this, but after reading the comments, some defending you for not running your socials or phone, or angry with you for the same reason, you played a compilation of the two of you together from the same account. 

Then you called Ellie. 

It rang once before sending you to voicemail and you just hung up. You kept your attention on the video to distract yourself from how much that stung. 

But she called right back. 

You stared at the phone for a moment, seeing the contact poster of the two of you at her last show with you lighting up your screen and feeling your words get caught in your throat as your eyes stung. You grabbed the phone, answering quickly. “Ellie?” It was silent, “Ellie, I just wanted to say, I had no idea… I understand if you never want to talk to me again, but I—“ You cleared your throat, trying not to sound like you were about to cry. “I’m really sorry.”

“I thought — I didn’t think you were going to — It feels so good to hear your voice,” was what she settled on after stammering through a few sentences. “You have no idea how much I’ve, just, wanted to talk to you…”

You bit down on your lip as you listened to her. She didn’t sound angry, but she clearly had so much to say to you. Her voice was filled with feeling as she went on, trying to get everything out as if she thought you’d hang up the phone at any minute. You just listened, shutting your eyes and bringing your hand over your face as hot tears spilled down your cheeks. You couldn’t bring yourself to understand why you were so emotional, maybe it was the fact that you misunderstood her so easily, or that your manager had ruined your relationship with her, or maybe it was even that you were just getting to hear her talk after so long, but she paused the moment she heard you trying to calm your breathing. 

“Please don’t cry.” She already knew. “I hate it when you cry and I can’t do anything about it.”

“I’m sorry,” you mumbled. “Keep talking. What were you saying?” You looked at your computer, auto-playing something else of the two of you. It was clips of you on stage and during interviews, heads on each other's shoulders, hugging, kissing each other’s cheeks, singing together. You pursed your lips, tears coming quicker as you slammed your laptop closed. “Ellie,” you cut her off, biting at your lip as you looked at the empty spot on your bed she used to take some nights, “what are you doing right now?” 

“I’m on my way,” she said quietly, and you could hear her shuffling on the other line. She was probably getting ready to go to sleep, and wake up to no response just like every other time she messaged you. And you would have woken up with no idea she even texted you. “Do you want me to stay on the phone?”

“If you’re already headed to sleep—“

“I’m coming over,” she said. “I’m already in the car, I’ll be there in ten, okay?”

“Okay…” Now you felt bad for making her leave her house, looking outside at the snowfall and sniffling as you tried to wipe your eyes. “I’ll see you soon.” You hung up the phone and groaned at yourself, shoving your head in your pillow. 

You opened your laptop, typing in the song names people speculated she wrote for you and queuing them all. Not one was the one you heard during her first show, and it made you feel even worse by the time the doorbell rang. You moved off of your bed, wiping your eyes and going to the door to buzz her up to your apartment. 

You waited by the door, balls of your feet kicking at the floor as you crossed your arms and waited for her to knock. It was the same rhythm she used to knock in, and where it usually made you smile, it made you cry more. God, you missed her, and you didn’t even realize how much until now. You took too long to open the door and you heard the lock click. She still had her set of keys, and that made you feel worse, too. She’d probably texted you about returning them, and you never got to see it. Nothing was making you feel better as she opened the door, and seeing her face just made it worse. 

“God,” she muttered, immediately bringing her arms around your waist. She tucked her head into your shoulder, shutting her eyes as your arms went around her shoulders. Her hands held you like you’d disappear the minute she let go, thumbs running soothingly back and forth over your shirt. “I missed you so much,” she said. “They all wanted me to get over it, but I knew there was no way — I knew we had something more than just — fuck, I know you better than they do. I know I do.” Her lips brushed your skin with every word. “I missed you so fucking much,” she repeated, hugging you tighter. 

Just her touch made your tears slow to a stop, relaxing into her hold and hugging her so tight, but she didn’t care. She was happy to be back in your arms. Your hand drifted to her hair, cradling her head to your shoulder. You could remember the nights you spent playing with her hair until you fell asleep and the thought made you run your fingers through it. She sighed, pulling her head back but refusing to let you go. 

There was a silence as you moved her hair out of her face, tucking the strands behind her ear. Slowly, your hand cupped her cold, flushed cheek. She leaned into your touch, eyes falling to your lips as your thumb stroked her cheek. 

“Ellie,” you muttered and she hummed, turning her head to kiss the inside of your palm. “I missed you, too,” was all you chose to say despite the wanting in the way you said her name. Her hand took yours as she kissed the inside of your wrist. “So much…” Her kisses trailed up your arm, with more of a meaning behind them than any of the kisses you’d given each other before. 

You moved your hand back to her face, turning her head toward you. She met your eyes, hers shining in the low light. They fell to your lips again and she leaned in, kissing your cheek. She kissed away every tear stain, still wet and warm. She moved closer and closer to your mouth, but never kissed you, kissing away the stains on your other cheek instead. 

Then you turned your head, catching her lips for a brief moment before she pulled back. There was a moment of hesitation, neither of you able to speak before she pressed her lips to yours. They were still cold from being out in the snow, but they warmed as you kissed her back, pressing your body impossibly closer to hers as she sighed into your mouth. She couldn’t tell you how long she had wanted this, but she knew it was long enough that her waiting for you was pathetic.

[millsheat]

i am physically unwell

[illovehaileesteinfeld]

space girl 💗

Cw: fluff, sfw, no use of y/n, nerd!ellie, cutie patootie shit, museum date, modern au.

ellie wore a huge smile, nearly dragging you through the doors of the newly opened museum. As soon as the two of you entered, your girlfriends jaw dropped.

"oh my god.." she let out, holding tightly onto your hand before turning around to look at you. She stood eye level, a huge grin playing on her lips.

"mm, wanna keep going baby?" You asked, her happiness fueling your own. She always got excited over space related things, and you had always admired how she knew every little fact.

"yes!!" She said, bringing you closer to her and tangling your arm with her own. You mindlessly walked along with ellie, mainly paying attention to the happiness on her features. She pointed out different astroids they had pictures of, maybe even fragments that she would lose her mind over.

"babybabylook!! they have a real piece!" She would gush, filled with excitement. You would pay attention to anything she pointed out, lightly lingering and giving soft words before she became the center of your focus.

walking around the museum for hours, listening to every word she said with the plus of looking at her lips in such an innocent way. You felt so unbelievably happy when she was happy, the day rolling by in a blur as ellie gathered souvenirs and pins, placing one of them on her backpack beside a similar pin her dad had given her years ago.

"howd you like it, els?" You said, wearing a huge smile that matched hers as the two of you shared ice cream outside the museum.

"it was perfect, baby" she giggles, leaning into you.

"im glad, space girl" you would say, pressing a kiss to your girlfriends lips.

divider creds: @strangergraphics-archive