#The way Ellie lights up when she realizes what he's saying.

[schmweed]

[hiiikiko]

𝖈𝖆𝖚𝖌𝖍𝖙 𝖎𝖓 𝖞𝖔𝖚𝖗 𝖜𝖊𝖇

[1: spider-man’s more awkward than i thought..”]

spiderman!ellie x reader | tlou m.list

synopsis: ellie is in your biology class, she’s the quiet teachers assistant, who also happens to double as your agency’s part time photographer, but you notice that lately she’s been acting strange..

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You never really noticed her before, to you, she was just the nerdy TA and your agency’s assistant photographer but right now, you needed her to be your saviour. You were failing your biology class, a side effect of how many modelling gigs you’ve picked up to pay your tuition but what good was paying your tuition if you couldn’t even pass your classes? That’s how you ended up practically begging Ellie to tutor you.

“God, please, Williams,” you sighed, taking her hand in yours, “I’ll do anything! I’ll even pay you or I could speak to the agency—.”

“I-it’s fine, Y/l/n, I can do it,” she pried her hand out of yours and nodded, “Just put in a good word with your boss, yeah?”

You practically jump when she says that, “Oh thank you, thank you so much! Um, do you have my number?”

Ellie bashfully nods, “Uh, yeah, I have all the model’s numbers..”

You nod, “Okay, cool! Let’s meet at my place tonight, yeah? Maybe around 6? I’ll send you the location and the door code.”

Ellie straightens up, “Uhh.. can’t do six.. can we do it earlier? Maybe 4..?”

She looks a little nervous about asking, her eyebrows are furrowed and she’s staring into your eyes, anxiously waiting for your response, “Oh.. yeah that’s cool!”

With that, you go your separate ways.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

At your apartment, you prep it for your visitor, shoving your clothes into your laundry hamper, putting out some snacks, straightening up your ‘living room,’ it wasn’t really a living room, given that you lived in a small studio apartment, it was really just a corner of your apartment with a couch, rug, and coffee table. Come on, it was New York and you’re a college student! This is as good as it’ll get for now.

Just as you’re folding a blanket, you hear a thud against the glass door leading out to your balcony. Just as you’re about to take a step towards it to inspect it.. ding dong! You jump a bit, forgetting all about the peculiar sound and making your way towards your front door. Peaking through the peephole, you see Ellie, she’s awkwardly rubbing the back of her neck, camera bag resting on her shoulder and her bangs messily in her face.

“Hey,” you smile and open the door to let her in, “Uh, make yourself at home.”

“T-thanks,” she nods, taking off her shoes and putting her bag down, “Nice place you got.. very, uh, homey. Oh, you a fan of Spider-man?” She nods at the Spider-Man poster on your wall and the Spider-Man t-shirt you’re wearing.

You giggle at her attempt at making small talk, “Thanks, can I get you anything? Water.. soda.. tea..? And, yeah, I know it’s kinda ‘fan girly’ of me but he’s just so fuckin’ cool, y’know? ”

“I’ll take a water,” she sits down on your couch, she looks really tired, not sleepy tired but she looks like she just fought Captain America.

“Shall we get started,” you place the glass in front of her and sit on the floor, the fluffy rug underneath aiding as a cushion, she nods and the two of you get to work.

The first few tutoring sessions went just like that, they were stiff and awkward but eventually, you realized that Ellis isn’t just a nerd that occasionally takes your pictures, she’s also really funny and is actually a really good teacher, she’s patient but doesn’t treat you like you’re dumb. She talks you through the formulas and makes sure you understand each chapter by quizzing you. She’s actually not awkward about this after all, she seems confident when she’s talking about cells. Watching her is nice, her eyes light up when she gets to a chapter that she is obviously interested in and a small smile falters on her lips. You never really realized it before but not only is she really smart, she’s also REALLY hot. Like, the way her veiny arms l flex when she reaches over for her glass of water, the veins flexing under her tattoo, the way she gazes at you through her eyelashes, and her smirk when she gently teases you for getting a problem wrong.

On one particular tutoring session, the rain pattered heavy against the thin glass on your balcony doors, creating a serene, almost cozy atmosphere. You and Ellie were sitting close together on the floor, a thick textbook resting on the coffee table in front of you, you could feel her breath against your neck and her voice was deep and raspy, almost like she’d been out in the rain earlier, and—

“Hey, you with me?” Ellie waves a hand in front of your face, “Hm, maybe we should stop here for now, yeah? It’s getting la— shit, it’s 7?!”

Your expression fell at the thought of her leaving, so you thought ‘fuck it’ as you decided to try and get her to ‘sleep over.’

Ellie scrambled to get on her feet, grabbing her bag and putting her battered converse on, “Oh, you’re leaving? But it’s pouring out there, wanna spend the night?” You graze her arm with your hand, you know it’s wrong to wanna sleep with your TA and your coworker but.. it had been so long since you got any.. and shit, how could you stop yourself now? You could feel her lean muscles underneath her baggy jacket.. you had no idea she even worked out.

Ellie’s eyes flicker to your hand, almost like she was considering it, “S-sorry.. I really gotta go, see ya Friday, yeah?”

And before you could say anything else to try and convince her to stay, she was out the door and you could hear her footsteps echoing down the stairwell.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

“The nerve that girl has!” You throw your hands up, “She didn’t even consider it.. I mean, look at me! An up and coming model offers you the night of her life, you say yes!”

Your friends nod in agreement, “I just don—.” Just as you’re about to make another comment, you see Ellie come into the lecture hall, a band-aid on her eyebrow, ouch. What in the world could have happened between 7 p.m. and this morning?

Your friends turn to see what’s got your tongue, then one of them speaks up, “Haven’t you heard? She is always getting weird scratches.. a guy in my last class said that she tends to get in a lot of fights, crazy, right?”

Ellie gets into fights? You scoff at the idea, no way, she’s the most gentle person you know, you can barely feel her touch when she adjusts your hair during shoots, besides she’s way too awkward, you can imagine her trying to talk herself out of a beating, no way. Right?

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

During that night’s tutoring session, you ask her about the bandaid, “Oh,” her hand darts to her forehead, “This? I, uh, got it when I fell off my skateboard..”

Convincing enough, right? But the tone in which she said it betrayed her statement, damn, she was a shitty liar.

“Hm,” you hum, still not completely convinced.

Ellie’s eyes rest on yours for a moment before going back to this week’s chapter. Usually, you could focus pretty well but right now all you wanted was to ask her more about the cut, right as you’re about to bug her again, she interrupts you with a question of her own. “Hey, uh, are you booked for that shoot on Sunday?”

You can tell she’s trying her best to act as nonchalant as possible but the way she’s nervously tapping her pencil against the textbook, the way her teeth gently bite her soft pink lips, and the way her eyes look like a deer caught in headlights betray her rather calm tone.

“Yeah, didn’t Regina tell you? She booked me a few weeks ago, something about how they want a ‘fresh young face’ or whatever,” you on the other hand, have mastered the art of being nonchalant, your voice calm and your eyes never leaving the paper of your textbook.

“R-really?” Ellie looks like a puppy who’s owner just shook a bag of treats before forgetting she’s supposed to be feign the whole ‘mysterious loner’ shtick, “I mean, uh, cool, cool. I’m gonna be there too, so, uh.. yeah.”

“Mhm,” the rest of the night carries on like nothing happened, Ellie continues teaching and you continue ‘listening,’ which was a little hard because your eyes kept drifting to her eyebrows again.

There’s something about her that you just don’t get.. if those rumours are true, which you highly doubt because look at her, she’s smiling while talking about RNA… be so for real right now, there’s no way BUT if it is true, why is she so gentle? Sure, she’s clumsy but her personality, she’s not hostile, hell, she blushes whenever you graze her hand. You know how the rumour mill works and it doesn’t just churn out baseless rumours, most have some kind of truth to them, so, how did someone make one about Ellie being so violent, you wonder.

“Uh, Y/n?” Ellie’s eyes move towards the balcony doors, “Can you, uh, please stop staring? You’re making me nervous..”

Your face erupts in a blush, the sweet red colour creeping up your neck, coating your ears, and finally, sweeping over your face, “S-sorry, just spaced out.. haven’t been getting much sleep, you know?”

Ellie nods, “Yeah.. I get it.. neighbours arguing a lot ‘nd stuff, right?”

You nod before realizing, “I never told you that.”

Ellie lets out a forced chuckle, “Uh, you did! Well, you didn’t tell me directly, just heard you say it… God, please believe me, I’m not stalking you, I just heard you say in passing, I swe—. Um. I should go, it’s getting late..”

“Huh, it’s only 6..?” You stand up with her, hoping she doesn’t leave so soon.

“Sorry, but I really should—?”

You grab onto her bulky jacket, tugging on the sleeve a bit, causing it to slip down her shoulder a bit and reveal her shirt underneath, huh, it looked like…

“Hey,” she blurts out and straightens out her jacket, “Wh—?”

“Oh my god, is that a spider-man tshirt?” You jump up, a smile creeping onto your face.

Ellie is washed with relief, “Uh, yeah! Gotta love the, uh, the guy, right?”

Nodding you say, “Totally! You should’ve said something sooner, I’m like his biggest fan, I even have an, allegedly, signed poster of him!”

Ellie’s ears burn bright, “R-really? Can I see it?”

You scramble to your room and pull out a small signed flyer, “See?”

Ellie gently holds it then she snorts and mutters, “Yeah, that’s not real.”

Your expression falters, “Wh-what? As if you’d know,” you pull it from her grip, your pride hurt and internally kicking yourself for spending so much on what could be a damn knock off.

“Oh, I think I’d know a thing or two about ‘Spider-Man’,” she chuckles.

“What does that mean,” you shoot her a glare.

“Oh, nothing.. I just, uh, met him” Ellie is scrambling for any way to cover up her loud mouth.

“No way, really?!” You jump up.

“Y-yeah, a few times actually.. back in my first year of college, he let me take some pictures of him a few times for the paper.”

You squeal and begin to bombard her with questions, “What was he like? Is he tall? How does he sound? Wh—?”

Ellie is patient with you and answers all of your questions, stretching she takes a look at the clock and jumps up, “Fuck, I really should get going, it’s rainy and the parade is tomorrow and that means more cr —.”

“More, what?”

“Uh, more cramped subways!” (Ellie is internally patting herself on the back for coming up with a word that begins with ‘cr’ instead of saying criminals.)

“Oh, alright.. see ya.”

Ellie is out the door quicker than you could say ‘your friendly neighborhood spider-man.’

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

It’s the day of the parade and everyone’s spirits are high. Today, everyone is celebrating the election of the new city mayor. There will be a parade, drone show, and a market. Even you’re excited. You and your friends are making your way through the crowded streets when you bump into Abby, your ex. She must be here for her family, Abby’s family was widely renowned. Her dad isn’t just a highly esteemed surgeon, he’s also CEO of Oscorp and has very close ties to the city officials. You don’t really want any drama, so you pass by without giving as much as a nod.

“Hey, Y/n,” you hear through the crowds, a groan leaving your lips before looking up and meeting green eyes instead of blue ones.

“Ellie! What’re you doing here? I thought you would hate this kinda stuff.’

She holds up her camera, “Just takin’ photos, the Daily Bugle needs some front page stuff and they assigned it to me.”

“Oh, very cool,” you smile, “S—,” Just as you’re about to ask her if she wants to check out the stands with you, you feel a hand grip your shoulder, it’s Abby, fuck.

“Hey, Y/n, long time, huh? Wanna come see my dad, he’s been asking about you, oh, so has Manny.” Before you could reject her, Ellie is already walking away and Abby is steering you to the city hall building.

Abby drones on and on about her latest lacrosse victories and about her latest conquests, you just nod and try to space out. Normally, you wouldn’t go with her but you so desperately wanted to meet with her father. Being in premed meant you need as many connections as possible, so you were hoping Mr. Anderson could give you some pointers.

As the two of you round a corner you feel a rumble then hear a boom.

“What the fuck was that,” Abby stops and runs up the stairs, your feet are frozen in place but you quickly pull them from their cemented state and chase after her, “Abby, stop! It’s too dang—!”

Then came the second boom and suddenly, you felt the ground beneath you crumbling, fuck, this is it, isn’t it? Just as you’re about to accept your fate, you feel hands grip your waist and you’re flying..?

Through the dust, you can make out a red and blue silhouette. “I-it’s you!’

The masked figure looks at you, “Yeah.. i-it’s me.”

Uh, Spider-Man is a lot more awkward than you thought..

[thechaoticcherub]

Sheep Keeping Age

Pairing: Jackson!Friends Dad!Joel Miller x innocent reader

Summary: Joel keeps the flock of sheep in Jackson, you and Ellie become friends, partially because you think it's cute that he keeps sheep.

Warnings: 18+, explicit content, innocence kink, virgin!reader, big age gap(around 40 years), old!joel miller, frustrated!joel miller, some (very) light manhandling, edging, fingering, dirty talk, no use of y/n, pet names, farming, ellie briefly, pussy pronouns

Notes: My first Joel fic! I hope you like it! this isn't really proofread and def not beta read so sorry but that's just how i roll. Ten thousand cherub points to anyone who knows what the title references.

Word count: 4.4 K

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The first week after you became friends with Ellie, you hung out with her in the garage of her dad, well, her Joel’s house. She was in the process of fixing it up to be her apartment and you had agreed to help her move some stuff around. You had caught sight of Joel through the window of the garage, he was in the paddock just past his house where Jackson’s sheep were kept. He was carrying a bucket of water to fill their trough and stopping to rub one of the sheep that followed after him behind the ears while they all brayed at him. Joel was really good looking for an older guy, broad through his shoulders and chest with a lined and deeply etched but handsome face. His hair was peppered with grey and there was something about his prominent nose and jaw that made you want to stare. You had seen him at other times in Jackson, from across the mess hall when he came in looking for his brother while a movie played in the evening. You had watched him then, your eyes tracking his movements across the building instead of paying attention to the projector screen. You had seen him at the pub, late in the evening when you’d go in to play cards with friends, he would be sitting at the bar with Tommy, drinking and talking in low voices. You had always been friendly, saying “hi Mr. Miller!” all brightly, smiling and sweet. Every time he would give you an awkward ‘’llo’” and then look away as if you were dangerous to look at for too long. You had always found him attractive, but he continuously hurt your feelings. 

“Why are you staring at Joel?” Elli asked, knocking you from your thoughts as you stared out the window. 

“Oh I just didn’t realize he took care of the sheep,” You said, making up an excuse. Ellie snorted with brief laughter, 

“Honestly, I think the sheep are the old fucker’s best friends. He definitely likes them more than probably anyone else.” She said, glancing out the window. 

“It’s kinda sweet,” You said, “Shows he isn’t just a closed off asshole,” You finished. Ellie shrugged, “Orrr it means he’s really closed off. Come help me move this desk,” She said.  

The second week after you became friends with Ellie, it had really started to feel like springtime around Jackson and you had walked over to see if Ellie was home. When she hadn’t answered your knocks on the door into the garage, you had wandered around the back of the building towards the paddock. You spotted Joel by the barn, so you put your foot up on the wooden fence and swung your leg over before hopping down and walking over. 

“Hey Mr. Miller!” You called as you approached him, he glanced over and then quickly looked away, as if the sight of you had burned him or something. 

“Hey,” His voice was gruff and short, “You lookin’ for Ellie?” He asked. You walked up to him and shrugged, “I was, she’s not here though, is she?” You asked. 

“Nope. On Patrol with Tommy,” He told you. It sounded like a dismissal, like you should leave. There was a sheep laying against the side of the barn, her breathing was a little heavy and Joel crouched down next to her, feeding her out of the palm of his hand. His forehead was pinched in worry. You didn’t want to be dismissed. You had come all the way to the house and you liked animals. Maybe you could learn how to help with the sheep and if that meant getting to spend a little more time around Joel then so be it. 

“Is something wrong with her?” You asked, crouching down next to Joel and reaching out to touch the sheep’s back, giving her a pat. Joel shifted so he wasn’t close to touching you, and glanced over at you, 

“Nothin’ wrong, jus’ pregnant and ready to be done I ‘spose,” Joel said. You immediately cooed, 

“Aww there’s going to be lambs soon?” you asked, excited, you turned your head to look at Joel, your fingers still in the sheeps slightly dirty wool. You watched as he nodded, “Yup, hopefully not too long,” he said, he looked over at you and it was as if he hadn’t been expecting you to be looking at him. He looked a little startled to meet your eyes, you watched as his eyes moved from yours to your cheeks, a little pink from the cool spring air, to your lips, slightly pursed as you watched him. “Look, darlin’,” he stood up suddenly and the movement almost knocked you backwards into the mud. Him calling you ‘darlin’ got your heart fluttering and your cheeks flushing. “I can tell Ellie you stopped by later if you-”

“I can help with the lambs when they come!” You interjected. “I love animals and I bet I could be a big help with the sheep, I’d love to learn about it.” you told him hopefully. Joel’s eyes moved over your eager face, his brow was pinched in that familiar concern. It was like he was thinking of ways to reject you. You didn’t understand, was he really just this anti-social or was it something about you specifically? You had seen him talking to other people just fine, while he wasn’t the friendliest person he made  conversation with them, but ever since the first time you met Joel he hadn’t wanted to talk to you for long. And it wasn’t like he just didn’t pay attention to you, you had seen him looking at you almost as much as you had caught yourself staring at him. You would turn your head while talking to someone in the town square and he would be looking at you, as if you irritated him. You had once briefly thought maybe he was looking at you because he thought you were pretty but the fact that he never said more than a couple words to you dissuaded you of that.

“I dunno, I’m guessin’ there’s better things a girl like you-” 

“Oh come on, Mr. Miller! I want to help out!” You grinned at him and for a split second, his face cleared of concern and he looked ten years younger but then the almost frustrated look was back but he shrugged, “Alright, if that’s what ya want,” He said. 

The fourth week after you became friends with Ellie, the sheep had been born and you had spent every day since at the paddock behind the Miller house. Joel had shown you all around the sheep barn, told you about their schedules, and taught you a lot but mostly you snuggled the newborn lambs while he did the heavy lifting. You had gotten him to stitch a few sentences together to you and even joked with him occasionally, 

“Not sure why I let ya keep comin’ back if i’m going to be the only one haulin’ the shit,” He had said one afternoon while you sat on one of the rails of the wooden fence, cradling a lamb in your arms, one booted foot swinging back and forth and he cleaned out the stalls in the barn. 

“Don’t pretend like you don’t like my company, Mr. Miller!” You called to him, rubbing the lamb under his chin. Joel snorted as he came out of the barn, 

“I’d like it better if you did some chores,” he said, “Instead of snuggling the babies and then leavin’ me out here the second Ellie comes home.” it had sounded harsh but you could see the light in his eyes. He may tease you about helping but he hadn’t ever insisted you pick up a shovel.  You blushed,

“Do you miss me when I leave ya, Mr. Miller?” You asked boldly, eyes shining with mischief as you looked over at him. 

“I told ya to call me, Joel, darlin’” He said, not answering your question. 

One day that week you had shown up in a dress, it had been too warm for jeans, and snuggling lambs wasn’t such hard work that you needed to wear work clothes. When Joel saw you walking up in boots and a floaty cotton dress he had rolled his eyes,

“We’re droppin all pretenses now, aint we?” He asked. 

“I don’t know what you mean, Mr Miller” You answered lightheartedly as you climbed up and over the fence. You knew he had wanted you to call him Joel, but the way Mr. Miller slid off your tongue like honey was too good to pass up.  Joel’s eyes raked over you as you threw a leg over the fence and hopped down, your dress fluttering around your thighs. 

“Mhm,” he said. “You go prancing around town like this a lot?” he asked, you looked over at him, his eyes had darkened slightly and you wondered if it pissed him off that you hadn’t even come dressed like you could do work if he needed you to. 

“No? I mean…I wear dresses sometimes,” You admitted, “You know that,” you added. He had seen you in dresses before, not that you thought he had noticed. He raised his eyebrows and said nothing, going back to his work. You spent the afternoon with the lambs and their mother, taking them farther out into the paddock to let their mother eat the clover there while you bottle fed the two babies. You caught Joel looking over at you three times that day. Once he was stopped just outside the barn and watching as you knelt in the grass in front of one of the lambs, you had felt his eyes on you so you made sure you smiled and looked cute while you fed the lamb with the bottle. You wanted him to look at you, you wanted your wildest fantasies of Joel Miller thinking you were pretty to come true. Finally you allowed yourself to turn and catch him looking, when he saw you look back at him he hurriedly kept working. 

The second time, you were bent over, picking up one of the lambs and when you straightened up, your cheeks flushed as you caught Joel staring at you from just a few yards away. You realized you had probably shown off too much when you bent over, your underwear might have even been peeking out. Mortified it was you who broke away from this gaze, you refused to look back up until you could hear Joel open the door to the equipment shed. 

The last time was when you were leading the lambs and their mother sheep back towards the barn, you were going to go home soon and you were twisting the hem of your dress around your finger over and over again, pulling it shorter and shorter absentmindedly. You were focused on the lambs, hurrying them along when you turned and noticed Joel filling a bucket with water at a spigot, it was unmistakable that his eyes were on your legs. You knew your body shouldn’t warm at the thought of him looking at you like that. He was the father of a good friend of yours. He was at least 40 years older than you. You hadn’t meant to try and show off to him but what if he thought you were just that type of girl now? What he thought shouldn’t matter to you, but it did and so when he looked up and noticed you had caught him looking again, you were the one who looked away in shame even though it should have been him. 

Once you got the lambs and their mother put into their stall in the barn you came out and looked around for Joel. He was standing by the fence, leaning against it and watching the sun slowly begin to sink behind the mountains. You wandered over to him and stood next to him, you could smell him when you stood so close. Something like heady leather, rich coffee beans and the tang of the outdoors and man. You wanted to bury your nose in his shoulder to keep smelling it. 

“Mr. Miller-” You started to say but before you could apologize for wearing a dress, for not doing enough chores, for anything you might have done to upset him, ever, he grabbed your upper arm, turning so you were the one pushed up against one of the fence posts. His hand dropped from your arm to your hip, keeping you snug against the wood. The movement knocked the wind out of you, your mouth fell open and you let out a little, oof. 

“Knock it off with that Mr. Miller shit,” Joel breathed. His body was so close to you, one of his legs wedged between yours, his large hand tight on your hip, pressing through the fabric of your dress and squeezing your flesh. 

“I’m sor-” “Don’t say it.” He growled, “You come to my house lookin’ like-” he cut himself off, his eyes moving down your frame, raking over every bit of you, making you feel even more exposed than you already did. His lips twisted in what seemed like it was distaste, but he couldn’t take his eyes off of you. “Next time you come over here, you better go back to being a good girl and wear jeans or somethin’ otherwise I’ll be fixin’ to do somethin’ I’ll regret.” His voice was dangerous and it set something boiling in you. You stared up at him, eyes wide, unsure. Joel’s dark eyes felt like flames as they stared down at you, scorching you, tearing at you. You wanted to be a good girl, but even more than that, you wanted him to do that thing he’d regret,

“But, Mr. Miller-” The words slipped out of you, and you couldn’t finish the sentence before his hand found your jaw. His thumb pressed into one cheek, his fingers pressed into the other, making you look up at him.

“Enough of that.” he said. “Don’t let me catch you in a dress like that again.” He said and it sounded like nothing but a challenge. He pushed you back slightly as he took a step away from you and then turned and left you there in the darkening paddock. 

The fifth week you were friends with Ellie, you wore a dress every single day but Joel hid for you. He signed up for Patrol on the day you were supposed to go to help with the sheep. He was never at the pub or the mess hall at the same time as you. You spent time with Ellie in the converted garage, talking about friends, about Ellie’s girlfriend, and you tried your absolute hardest not to ask her about Joel and whether or not he had asked about you. You stayed late at her place, playing cards,  and when you lost your third hand of Egyptian Ratscrew you decided to head home. As you were saying goodbye, you noticed a light flick on in Joel’s place. Your heart skipped at least two beats and as soon as Ellie’s door closed, leaving you in darkness, your feet changed course from the road that lead back to the mainstreet of town and to the nearby house. You walked along the driveway and to the front door where there was less of a chance of Ellie seeing you than the back door. You weren’t even sure what you were going to do when he answered the door, what reason you were possibly going to give for coming to his house late at night, the instant you saw that he was home but your feet led you to the door anyway and before you knew it, you were knocking. 

When Joel answered the door you looked exhausted and wary, his expression turned to something you couldn’t quite recognize the second he saw you standing there, booted toes pressed together, thin dress still swishing around your thighs from your movement. Maybe the expression was irritation, maybe it was shock, maybe it was hunger. 

“Mr. Miller,” You said, testing it in your mouth, unsure of what words would come next even as you spoke. You didn’t have an excuse. The title served as a propellant, something that burned fast and hot, sending Joel careening into you. He took one step over the threshold of the door, towering above you and then grabbed both your forearms and tugged you hard. Your immediate reaction was to try and put your arms up to push him back but he held you firm and gave you a little shake,

“I told you not to let me catch you wearing a dress again, little girl.” He said. You struggled with him for a second, trying to shake your forearms out of his grip, but it was no use and you didn’t really want to anyway. You stuttered for a second,

“I’m…I’m sorry, Mr. Miller,” The honeyed burn of that caused him to drag you over the threshold of his front door and slam it behind him. 

“You’re gunna be, darlin’” Joel dragged you through the entryway of the house and into the kitchen. He pushed you back into the counter, his body pressing into you again, his breath against your face. “You really think you can just be flirtin’ with me, tease me for weeks and then show up at my house in the middle of the night when I’ve been doin’ my damn best to avoid you?” 

You wanted to say you hadn’t meant to tease him, you hadn’t thought you were flirting, but thinking back on it, you had always gone out of your way to say hi. You had fluttered your eyelashes at him, and flipped your hair. Had you been that blatant? “N-no! I didn’t mean-” You started but you couldn’t even finish it. 

“You just a little slut, is that it?”Joel asked, his hands started to bunch up your dress around your hips. You gasped. No, you weren’t a slut, you hadn’t ever had sex. You hadn’t ever had a boyfriend. You hadn’t wanted to make any time for the boys in Jackson but you had been wanting Joel for a while. You tried to protest but again, the words died in your throat before they could come out because Joel was holding your dress bunched up in one hand while running a thick finger along the waistband of your underwear. “Is this what you’ve been wanting?” He breathed, his forehead was pressed into yours, you could feel his hot breath and his body pressing into yours. Yes, you did want it, but admitting that was admitting you had been acting this way specifically to get it.

“N-No!” You whined, pressing your back against the counter, trying to get away from his prying fingers but also desperately wanting it. “J-Joel!” You gasped as his hand pushed into your underwear, his fingers dipped into your slick folds, his middle finger slid up the seam of your pussy. When he reached the crest of your labia, his fingers seamlessly found your clit and tapped it, sending a spasm of pleasure through you. As quickly as he had shoved his hand into your underwear, he pulled it out, holding it up in front of your face to show off his fingers coated in your slick.

“Does this seem like no, to you, little darlin?” He asks, his voice sardonic. Your brow furrows as you look at your own juices coating his fingers. 

“Joel, I-I’ve never-” You whine and squirm where you’re standing, not sure how to say it, suddenly nervous this will all stop if you tell him. Joel reaches up with the hand that had so painfully briefly been touching your slit and cups your chin, surprisingly gentle,

“Never what, baby? Come on, spit it out, little girl.” His voice is husky, he leans in towards you, his nose pressing into the hollow of your cheek. 

“I’ve never been touched like…like that,” You manage to blurt out and Joel’s whole body seems to pause. For a moment you think he’s going to stop, he’s going to push you away and tell you to get lost, that you’re too young. But then the hand cupping your chin tightens and you feel his sharp, scratchy stubble against your cheek as he gives you a wet kiss there. He pulls back,

“Aint no one but me’s ever got the pleasure of touchin’ that pretty pussy?” he asks, there was a smile in his voice and you relax a little, he wasn’t about to shove you away. You shake your head slowly, looking up at him, your eyes meeting his. “Well, I should get proper acquainted with her then, shouldn’t I?” The words made everything in your body feel wobbly, like liquid sloshing around. His hands grab your hips and lift you backwards onto the counter. Joel shoves your knees apart and his fingers drag up your thigh towards your undies. You watch as his head tilts down to look between your bodies, his fingers moving to hook into the side of your underwear and pull them aside. Nerves make you try and clamp your legs shut and push him back, whining his name in protest at him looking at your naked sex. 

“Aw, sweetheart, I just want a little peek at her,” He convinces softly, you still whine but let his hands pry your thighs apart. His hand slips down your leg to your ankle and grabs it, pushing it back so your heel is pressed into the counter and your legs are splayed open, your body leaning back slightly. Your heart races, the idea of being exposed to his eyes is too much, you know you’re soaking through your underwear and now he can see that. Joel looks down over your undies and slowly lets go of your ankle, making sure you’ll keep it there. His pointer finger slides down your thigh to your undies, very carefully pulling them to the side, his eyes drinking up the view. “ohh, pretty girl,” he says. “You’re soakin’ for me, darlin.” He says, his eyes flick up to your face. Your whole face is red with embarrassment and desire. Joel brings his thumb up to his mouth, licks it and strokes your clit. Your breath catches in your throat, your heart hammers. All the times you had tried to touch yourself had never even come close to the way this felt. You let out a moan, your head falling back against your shoulders. 

Joel watches his thumb circle your clit, setting a steady, dizzying pace. “Good girl,” Joel said as you mewl out moans. Your body is blazing with pleasure, you can feel yourself dripping, you had never been wet like this before and it’s all because of his thumb softly circling around your clit, barely grazing it and then flicking over it in a mesmerizing pattern.  “Look at her,” Joel says with a short chuckle, “She keeps getting wetter.” His gaze fixed on your pussy and you let out a string of whines. 

Your orgasm is starting to build, you can feel it burning inside you, growing and pulsing, so close but not quite there yet.  Joel’s thumb strokes over your clit and your breath catches in your throat,

“You close, little darlin?” He asked, “I can see your cunt clenching on nothing….she needs something in her, doesn’t she?” You nod vigorously, unable to talk, unable to form a coherent thought. You didn’t care that you had never had anything inside of you, you needed his thick fingers. Your eyes open and look down at him, his face is tilted down, examining your sex, his grey peppered hair pushed back away from his face. His eyes move up to meet yours,

“Beg me for it, sweetheart.” he says, his eyes dark with lust. Your mouth falls open, your brow furrows and you shake your head, 

“C-can’t.” You whined, pressing your hips forward towards his finger as it continues its slow calculated pace of stroking your clit. 

“Yes you can, beg me to fill you up. Your poor, soaking pussy needs it, darlin. Come on, use those words I know you have.” He coaxed. You had never felt so filthy, you wanted to beg for his thick fingers in your virgin pussy but you couldn’t find the words, your brain was mush. “Beg.” he instructed. You whined, feeling like you were going insane and finally the words tumbled out of you,

“Please…please, please fill me up. Finger me, J-Joel. I need it in my pussy. Oh god, please, I’m soaking for it, she needs your fingers in her, please, Joel!” You babbled and whined as his thumb continued to stroked around and around your clit, occasionally swiping over it, bringing you closer and closer to that building orgasm. 

“Say, ‘please finger fuck me, Mr. Miller.’” He instructed, his middle finger notching itself at your entrance, not quite pushing in, just teasing your hole. 

“ughhhh!! Please! Please finger fuck me, Mr. Miller!” You moaned out, louder than you thought you were capable of. Joel let out a satisfied chuckle but instead of pushing that middle finger into your eager hole, his whole hand moved away from your throbbing sex. He delicately took the side of your undies and replaced them back over your swollen sex. 

“Wha- oh god…no! Joel!” You whined, pressing your hips forward, your cunt clenching on nothing. 

“Nuh-uh,” Joel said, looking over your face, smirking. “You spent weeks teasing me.”

“I didn’t know I was-” “Bullshit, little darlin’” Joel said. “‘Please, Mr. Miller can I please spend all my time at your house caring for the cute little lambs, bending over and dressin’ like a slut’” He mimicked you meanly and raised his eyebrow at you. “If you’re going to act like a naughty girl, I’m going to treat you like a naughty little girl.” He said, leaning down to be level with you. You stared at him, feeling like you might go completely crazy. You opened your mouth and then closed it again. Joel pressed his lips to yours in a soft, chaste kiss. When he pulled away he touched your nose, 

“Say ‘thank you, Mr. Miller.’” he insisted. 

“Thank you, Mr. Miller,” You mumbled, dazed. 

“Good girl, will you come check on the lambs tomorrow?” he asked, his eyes twinkling. “Ellie is on patrol all day.” Joel stroked his finger down the bridge of your nose. You gazed up into his eyes and nodded. 

“Yup, I really think sheep keeping is super interesting.” You said, still dazed and needy.

[ange1heavensent]

Getting Caught in 4K

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Pairing: ellie williams x fem!reader

Content Warning: light makeout

w/c ≈ 750

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The evening air was crisp, a gentle breeze sweeping through the streets as you pulled your car up to Ellie’s house. The date had gone even better than you’d imagined. Dinner, movie, and her constant smirk that made your heart flutter, it had all felt perfect. Ellie sat beside you in the passenger seat, glancing out of the window as if savoring the last few moments of your time together before stepping out.

"Thanks for tonight," Ellie said, breaking the silence but making no move to leave. Her voice was soft, almost hesitant, as if she didn’t really want to say goodbye. “I had a really good time tonight.” you replied, your heart thudding a little faster in your chest. Ellie smiled, her lips curling up in that way that always made your heart skip. “Me too.”

Before you could say anything else, Ellie leaned over, her breath warm against your skin as she pressed a soft kiss to your cheek. It was meant to be a simple gesture of thanks, but the second her lips touched your skin, something shifted in the air between you. You turned your head slightly, and suddenly, her lips were on yours, tentative at first, but then growing bolder when you kissed her back.

The kiss deepened, your hands finding their way to Ellie’s hair, fingers tangling in the soft strands as she leaned closer, her body pressing against yours. The space between the seats felt too small, too confining, as if it wasn’t enough to contain the intensity of the moment.

Ellie seemed to feel the same way. Without breaking the kiss, she shifted, trying to climb over the center console into your lap. The car was small, though, and Ellie’s movements were anything but graceful. Her knee knocked into the gearshift, and as she twisted her body to straddle you, her foot caught on the edge of the seat. In the scramble, her butt hit the car horn with a loud, blaring honk that shattered the quiet night.

You both froze, the kiss abruptly cut off as you stared at each other in shock, wide-eyed and breathless. Then, as if on cue, the front door of Ellie’s house swung open, and there stood Joel, silhouetted against the light from inside.

“Ellie,” Joel called out, his voice gruff but not exactly angry—more like he had caught her doing something she shouldn’t, which was… well, accurate.

Ellie quickly scrambled off you, mumbling out a curse, nearly falling back into the passenger seat as she tried to regain her composure, then rolling the passenger window down. "Uh, hey, Joel…" She wiped at her mouth, trying to look nonchalant, but the red creeping up her neck wasn’t helping her case. “Didn’t mean to wake you up.”

Joel raised an eyebrow, looking between you two before letting out a heavy sigh. "I was wonderin' why the car horn went off in the driveway. Didn't realize it was... this." His tone was stern, but there was a hint of amusement in his eyes that he was clearly trying to suppress.

You couldn’t help but laugh nervously, running a hand through your hair. "Sorry, Mr. Miller…"

Joel just shook his head, stepping back towards the house. "You two finish up your… uh, whatever it is you're doin'. Just… maybe not in the driveway, yeah?" He gave Ellie a pointed look before disappearing back inside.

The moment he was out of sight, Ellie let out a deep breath, slumping back in the seat, and you both burst into laughter.

"Well, that could've been worse," Ellie snorted, wiping a hand over her face. She turned to you, her face still flushed, still not quite over the embarrassment. "So, what are the chances we can pretend that never happened?"

You laughed, shaking your head. "Not a chance. I’m never letting you live this down."

Ellie rolled her eyes but leaned in to press one last soft kiss to your lips, this time careful not to trigger any more accidental honking. “Guess we’ll have to try this again sometime,” she murmured against your lips, her voice low and teasing, "but next time let’s make sure we’re in your room or something, okay?" “Yeah,” you agreed, your heart fluttering at the thought. “I’d like that.”

As she opened the door and stepped out of the car, Ellie threw you one last playful wink before jogging up the steps to the house, leaving you with a fluttering heart and a memory of the night you definitely wouldn’t forget anytime soon.

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Thank you for reading! If you liked this fic, check out my masterlist for more :)

[daryltwdixon]

Summary: Still trekking through the wilderness, a tense confrontation unexpectedly leads you to what you’ve been searching for all along: Joel’s brother, Tommy.

nice long boy for you guys tonight x

You’re up early the next morning. For a moment, the world is still caught in that delicate balance between night and day, the dim light of dawn casting long shadows across the rocky terrain. The air is cold enough to nip at your fingers, seeping through the threads of your gloves as they clutch the rifle to your front.

Joel had insisted on taking both first and second watch, his gruff tone leaving no room for argument last night. Yet here he is, sound asleep, his pack serving as a makeshift pillow. His jacket is wrapped tight around him, the faded fabric rising and falling with the slow, steady rhythm of his breaths.

You’d woken to the sound of a particularly loud snore—one that startled you at first, then made you smile. Turning your head, you’d found him there, his face slack with exhaustion, lines of tension erased in sleep. For a moment, he looked peaceful, the hardness he wore during waking hours softened by the quiet vulnerability of rest.

He needed it. The man had been running on fumes for weeks, stealing snatches of sleep when he could, always on edge, always alert. You’d seen it in the tightness of his shoulders, the way his hand hovered near his weapon even when he wasn’t in immediate danger. Joel carries everything: the responsibility, the danger, the weight of every decision made on this brutal landscape.

You’d decided, in that moment, not to wake him. Instead, you’d taken his place on watch, quietly slipping into the role as he continued to sleep. It wasn’t much, but it was something you could do—for him, for the group.

You glance back, watching as he jolts awake now, his hand instinctively reaching for the weapon at his side. His eyes dart around, wide and alert, before landing on you. For a moment, he looked disoriented, the haze of sleep still clinging to him.

“Easy, easy,” you say softly, turning your attention back to the horizon. “You were asleep. I woke up early.”

His voice is rough when he answers, still thick with sleep. “You gotta wake me up if that happens.”

“No, I don’t.” A smile curls under the scarf he’d insisted you wear, the fabric muffling your words. “You needed the sleep.”

He lets out a sharp breath, the sound carrying a mix of irritation and something else you can’t quite place. “I’m responsible for you.”

“In what world?” you tease, tilting your head to glance at him. “You’re responsible for that girl. I can handle myself.”

His jaw tightens, and for a moment, you think you’ve overstepped. But then his shoulders ease, the irritation melting into something quieter.

“You wake me next time,” he says, softer now, his voice carrying an edge of insistence. His brows furrow as he looks at you, but there’s a gentleness there too, a quiet concern as his gaze lingers.

“Yes, sir,” you reply with mock formality, enunciating each syllable, your eyes steady on his.

His lips press together, but the huff he lets out betrays him, the corners of his mouth twitching like he wants to laugh despite himself. Before he can respond, Ellie appears, jogging up from the tree line, her breath puffing in the cold morning air.

“Think I spotted some rabbits out there,” she says, slightly out of breath. “Maybe we can catch them on our way.”

Joel turns to you, his brow arching in incredulity.

“She was fine,” you say preemptively, shrugging. “I could see her the whole time.”

He sighs, his jaw tightening briefly, but it’s clear he realizes he isn’t going to win an argument with her. Instead, he turns back to Ellie, muttering, “Grab your stuff. We’re moving out soon.”

“Damn.”

“Well, you’re no Will Livingston,” you mutter to Ellie, referring to her favorite pun book that she carries and often torments you with for hours on end. Your breath mists in the frigid air as you stand at the edge of a steep drop-off. The wind bites at your cheeks and tugs at your scarf while the three of you look down into a massive dam. The structure looms large and gray, weathered by time but still holding firm against the rushing water below.

The river churns and roars beneath you, the dam clearly still in working order, its turbines likely humming somewhere deep inside.

“So that made electricity?” Ellie asks, turning to you with curiosity in her eyes.

You shrug. “Don’t ask me.”

Both of you look to Joel, his profile silhouetted against the pale winter sky. He stares down at the water. After a beat, he turns away with a small shake of his head. “Yeah. Don’t ask me either—I don’t have a clue.”

Ellie huffs and rolls her eyes. “Coulda made somethin’ up,” she says with a shrug. “I woulda believed you.”

You smirk, watching as Joel shoots her a fleeting glance, the faintest trace of a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth before it disappears.

The three of you begin walking again, following the dam’s edge. The icy wind carries the sharp smell of snow and water, and every so often, you hear the faint groan of metal under pressure as the dam does its work.

“Hey…” you say after a moment, your voice cutting through the steady crunch of boots on snow. “What if… this is that ‘River of Death’ those people were talking about?”

Joel’s steps falter, his body pausing mid-stride as your words hang in the air. He turns his gaze to the water, his brow furrowing as if weighing the possibility. For a long minute, he stands there, hand resting on his rifle strap, his breath coming out in slow, visible puffs.

Then, without a word, he extends his hand toward you.

“Map.”

You blink, quickly withdrawing the map from your coat pocket and handing it over. He unfolds it, spreading it flat against his thigh as the three of you gather close.

Joel traces the lines with his finger, muttering something under his breath as he tries to orient himself. Ellie leans in beside him, her breath warm against your shoulder as she peers at the map. You glance at the horizon, scanning for landmarks to compare against the paper.

None of you notice the sound at first—the faint rhythm of hooves against snow, muffled by the roar of the river. It isn’t until it grows louder, accompanied by the distant jingle of bridles and the low snort of horses, that the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end.

“Joel…” you say, your voice low, a warning.

His head snaps up, his entire posture shifting from contemplative to alert. His hand drops to his rifle instinctively, and he turns toward the sound just as the riders crest the ridge behind you.

The sun catches on their weapons, the glint of steel unmistakable, and a cold dread settles in your stomach as they begin to close the distance.

“Get behind me,” Joel says softly, his voice sharp and commanding. His free hand moves to grab yours, pulling you behind him with a firm tug. Without thinking, you grab Ellie’s hand, pulling her beside you as the three of you huddle together.

There are at least a dozen of them, all on horseback, their weapons trained on you. Their faces are hard, unreadable under ski masks that cover their jaws and mouths, but their intent is clear. Joel releases your hand and his rifle simultaneously, his hands lifting in a slow, deliberate motion of surrender.

“We ain’t lookin’ for any trouble,” he says, his voice steady, though you can hear the tension beneath it. “We’re just passin’ through.”

“Guns on the ground,” the man in front orders, his voice carrying the weight of authority.

Joel nods once, glancing back at you briefly. His expression is calm, but his eyes hold a warning. You follow his lead, releasing the strap of your weapon and letting it drop to the ground beside his.

The man’s gaze shifts, locking onto you. Even from twenty feet away, you can feel the weight of his scrutiny.

“You,” he barks, his tone sharp, “Take five steps back. Without the girl.”

You swallow hard, the command clear and foreboding. Your feet feel rooted to the ground for a moment before you force them to move.

“How ‘bout we just talk this through?” Joel says, his voice careful but firm, trying to diffuse the situation.

“How ‘bout you shut the fuck up?” the man snaps, his gun still trained on you.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” you whisper, but you’re not sure if its to reassure him or yourself. Your heart hammers in your chest as you take slow, deliberate steps backward. With every inch you move away, the absence of Joel’s broad frame at your side leaves you feeling exposed, vulnerable. The warmth of his presence, his protection, is gone, replaced by the biting cold and the weight of a dozen weapons pointed in your direction.

“You been near infected?” the man asks, his gun unwavering as he eyes you.

“No infected out here,” Joel answers quickly, his voice calm but tight.

“The hell there ain’t.” The man whistles sharply, and the sound is like a blade cutting through the air. From behind the group, a dog’s sharp barks erupt, and a handler steps forward with the animal straining against its leash.

“Last chance for a bullet,” the man says coldly. “If you’ve been infected, he will smell it, and he will rip you up.”

Your blood turns to ice as the dog is let off its leash. The snarling barks grow louder, each one a dagger in your chest.

Ellie.

Ellie is infected but immune. The dog doesn’t know that. The man doesn’t know that. All you can see is her small frame being torn apart by this animal in your mind’s eye. The thought makes your vision blur, panic roaring in your ears.

The dog charges Joel first, its nose sniffing rapidly as it circles him. It pauses, standing on its hind legs to place its paws on his chest. For one terrible moment, you brace for the worst—but the animal lowers itself and moves on. Clearly a good sign.

“Now her,” the man says, pointing at you.

The dog approaches, its body tense, sniffing the air as it nears. You stand frozen, barely registering its movements. Your focus is on Ellie, your mind racing for a plan, a distraction, anything to protect her.

The dog sniffs you thoroughly, then places its paws on your front. It lowers itself again without incident. Relief floods through you, but it’s short-lived as it turns toward Ellie.

Jesus Christ. This is it. This is how it ends. After everything—after all the danger, the sacrifices, the miles traveled—Ellie is going to die here because of a dog.

Your breath catches in your throat as the dog reaches her, its nose working furiously. Joel’s body is stiff as a statue, his eyes wide, jaw clenched. You can’t even look at him anymore; all you can do is stare at Ellie, silently pleading for a miracle.

The dog rises onto its hind legs, paws pressing against Ellie’s chest. She freezes for a moment, then giggles softly, her hand reaching out to pet it.

The sound of her laughter breaks through the storm of panic in your head. The world tilts back onto its axis, breath flooding your lungs as if you’ve been drowning and finally breached the surface.

Joel’s gaze snaps to you, his eyes wide, mirroring your own disbelief. Both of you stand there, caught in the same stunned realization: What the fuck just happened?

“You just bought yourself ten more seconds,” the man says, his gun still trained on you. “What’re you doin’ out here?”

Joel exhales sharply, his voice strained but steady. “I’m just lookin’ for my brother.”

A woman on horseback steps forward, her eyes narrowing as she studies him. “What’s your name?”

“Joel,”

The large wooden gates swing open to the town of Jackson, Wyoming, with a loud creak and groan, the sound reverberating off the snow-dusted landscape. The group of riders surges forward, their horses’ hooves clattering against the icy ground as you enter.

It’s been years since you’ve ridden a horse, but the feeling of the mare beneath you is familiar, almost comforting. Her steady rhythm keeps you grounded as your eyes take in the small western town ahead. Ellie rides beside you, Joel just in front on his own horse, his posture stiff, his attention focused forward.

But then Joel slows, his horse coming to an abrupt halt. You pull the reins gently, bringing your mare to a stop beside his, curiosity flickering as you watch him.

His eyes are locked across the expanse of the town, fixed on a man standing near a crane, his frame outlined against the overcast sky. The man is clad in a sherpa-lined denim jacket, his hands busy as he works, unaware of the approaching group.

“Tommy!” Joel calls out, his voice cutting through the chill air.

Without hesitation, Joel swings off his horse, landing heavily on the frozen ground. You instinctively take hold of his reins, steadying the animal as Joel strides toward the man.

The man—Tommy—stops, turning toward Joel. For a moment, there’s stillness, the kind that feels like the world itself is holding its breath. Then Tommy’s face lights up, his smile broad and unmistakable beneath his dark curls.

“Joel,” he says, his voice carrying a mixture of disbelief and joy, and within seconds, the two brothers are embracing, their arms flying around each other.

You can’t help but watch the reunion, the way Joel’s usually guarded expression softens, the years of wear and loss momentarily falling away. Tommy’s joy is infectious, his energy almost boyish despite the rugged lines etched into his face.

For a fleeting moment, your gaze lingers on Tommy’s hair—dark, untouched by time—and you wonder if Joel’s had been the same shade twenty years ago. It’s hard to imagine now, his hair forever flecked with gray, a testament to years you can only guess at.

Their voices are muffled by the distance, their conversation lost in the murmur of the bustling town around you. Still, you can feel the weight of the moment, the way it tugs at something deep within Joel.

But then your eyes shift to Ellie. She’s watching too, but there’s something different in her gaze. Her brow is furrowed, her lips pressed tight, worry flickering in her expression.

“You okay?” you ask softly, but Ellie doesn’t answer right away.

Her eyes stay fixed on Joel and Tommy, her small hands gripping the reins a little too tightly. But then after a moment, her gaze flickers to you, her lips plastering on a small, very fake smile, “Yeah, yeah I’m good.”

IInside the dining hall, the warmth wraps around you like a heavy blanket. The room is expansive yet cozy, with vaulted wooden beams overhead and stone fireplaces crackling at either end. Soft, ambient light from rustic chandeliers hangs above long, polished tables, where families and groups laugh and talk over steaming plates of food. It smells of roasted chicken, baked bread, and something sweet lingering in the air—a world away from the bleakness you’ve known.

The three of you sit at a table laden with chicken, potatoes, and vegetables, steam curling into the air above your plates. You can’t help but savor every bite, the food warming your stomach in a way that feels almost healing.

“There’s more if you need it,” Maria says from across the table, her voice polite but tinged with a hint of watchfulness.

“Thank you, ma’am. It’s been a while since we’ve had a proper meal,” Joel replies, his tone respectful but reserved.

“Probably since we were at your place,” Ellie quips, glancing up at you for a fraction of a second before turning her attention back to her plate. “This is fuckin’ amazing.”

Joel exhales sharply, his brows knitting as he gives her a pointed look. “Ellie, let’s mind our manners.”

You catch Joel’s hesitation as he glances across the table at Tommy and Maria. Joel looks uneasy, his body stiff even in this moment of peace. Tommy sits beside you, a little too close for comfort, but the warm meal and the ambiance dull the edge of your usual discomfort.

But then Ellie’s attention snaps to something behind you, her eyes narrowing. “What?” she blurts out, her tone defensive.

“Hey,” you say sharply, twisting in your chair to glance behind you, seeing a girl run off. 

“What’s wrong with you?” Joel mutters low, his voice tight with irritation. 

“What about her manners?” Ellie snaps.

“El, relax,” you say, trying to calm her from across the table.

“She was just curious,” Maria interjects, her tone measured but firm. She sits beside Tommy at the head of the table, watching Ellie warily. “Kids around here don’t usually look or talk like you.”

You offer a polite smile, but Ellie remains stone-faced. “Right, well. Maybe I’ll teach them,” she says flatly.

You roll your eyes, sitting back in your chair. “Ellie.”

“What?” she snaps, glaring at you.

Something’s off. This isn’t about manners, and the tension in her shoulders tells you as much. You narrow your eyes at her but say nothing as Maria calmly reminds Ellie that no one is armed inside the premises.

“You know what?” Tommy says, his voice soft, breaking the awkward silence. “I think y’all got off on the wrong foot.”

“She was gonna have her guys kill us,” you mutter, wiping your mouth. A hint of sarcasm slips into your tone, earning you a reprimanding look from Joel.

“We gotta be careful about who we let in this place,” Tommy explains easily, his tone light but firm. “It’s all bark. We’re just tryin’ to scare off the ones who might wanna try us.”

“Well, you got a couple of ninety-year-olds shitting themselves out there,” Ellie deadpans, turning back to her plate.

“El,” you say, unable to suppress a laugh, though Joel looks exasperated. He shoots another apologetic glance toward Maria, who doesn’t seem fazed.

“They say you leave dead bodies around?” Ellie demands.

“Those are the people who tried us,” Maria explains evenly.

“A bad reputation doesn’t always mean you’re bad,” Tommy adds.

“Not always, at least,” Maria echoes softly, though her eyes linger on Joel.

Joel shifts in his seat, glancing around the room. “Look, ma’am, we appreciate your hospitality and all, but it’d be nice to maybe just have a moment here for family.”

You glance at Tommy, who shifts uncomfortably before reaching for Maria’s hand. “Well, uh… Maria is family, actually.”

“Congrats,” you mutter, sipping your water. When neither Joel nor Ellie echoes the sentiment, you shoot them both a pointed look. “Say congrats.��

“Congrats,” they both mumble in unison, their deadpan expressions earning a sigh from you.

Tommy offers a tour after dinner, and as you step outside into the cold night air, the town of Jackson opens up before you.

Even in winter, it’s breathtaking. The tall gates stand like sentinels, enclosing a community bustling with life. Beyond the walls, the snow-covered mountains stretch endlessly, their peaks catching the faint glow of moonlight. Within the gates, warm lights illuminate streets lined with cabins, livestock pens, and gardens. People move through the streets, tending to animals, carrying supplies, laughing, and talking.

It’s… beautiful. Too beautiful, almost. You’ve never seen anything like it in your life. Your home with Bill and Frank was merely a fraction of this.

You look around, taking in the crowds. The strangers. So many faces, so many voices, so many people all around you. The air begins to feel thinner, the noises becoming louder, pressing against your skull. Your breath quickens, your chest tightening as you try to process it all.

You fall a step behind the group, your eyes darting from person to person, trying to make sense of this overwhelming new reality. It’s not just the sheer number of people–well, maybe it is. But  it’s the fact that none of them are familiar. Not a single one.

You can hear the conversation around you, fragments of words filtering through the haze of your thoughts. Something about the dam being their source of electricity, about keeping off the radio, schools and a church, a commune. Three hundred people.

It feels like the ground is tilting beneath you.

You’re fine. You’ll be fine. But all you want is to get to a secluded space, somewhere quiet and still, away from the sea of strangers and the eyes that follow you as you pass.

The beauty of this place is undeniable—the snow-covered rooftops, the warm glow of lights spilling onto the streets, the sound of laughter and conversation echoing between the buildings. It’s a slice of life you’ve never known. But it comes with a cost. For someone like you, who’s lived in isolation for so long, the world suddenly feels too big, too loud, too alive.

“I’m sure you guys need a shower, some new clothes.” Maria says, and you finally tune in. A retreat, please, yes please.

“We can put them in the empty house across the street from us, “Maria continues, looking at Tommy. He nods, agreeing with her.

“I’m sure you guys need a shower, some new clothes,” Maria says, her voice pulling you out of your spiraling thoughts. You latch onto her words like a lifeline. A retreat. Please, yes, please.

“We can put them in the empty house across the street from us,” Maria continues, looking to Tommy. He nods, his agreement steady and matter-of-fact.

“Well, I’ll take Ellie and her over there if you two wanna catch up,” Maria offers.

“Joel,” Ellie says sharply through her teeth, her eyes widening as she looks at him.

“You’ll be fine,” Joel replies, his voice calm but firm. But his gaze shifts to you, lingering. There’s something in his expression, a question, maybe even concern.

You nod, trying to appear steady, even as your hands tighten around the strap of your bag.

Joel looks like he’s about to say something—maybe ask if you’re okay—but Tommy’s voice calls his name from a few feet away, breaking the moment.

“Shall we?” Maria asks, her tone kind but brisk as Joel turns his head.

“Yeah,” you manage to say, the word barely leaving your throat before you reach for Ellie, pulling her along beside you.

[dumblilb]

I KNEW THEN

Ellie Williams x Fem!Reader

(Synopsis: You have loved Ellie since the moment she moved to Jackson. You just didn’t know it at the time. Inspired by Graceland Too by Phoebe Bridgers.)

(Warnings: SMUT 18+ MDNI, smut with way to much backstory lmao, switch!Ellie, switch!reader, oral (reader and Ellie receiving), fingering, friends to lovers, tlou!au, smoking weed, cursing, fluff)

(Words: 3,6k)

* ・゚☆ 。・ * ・゚★ 。・ * ・゚☆ * ・゚☆ 。

You had been in Jackson about a year before Ellie had showed up. So when her and Joel moved in next door, your parents practically shoved you out of the house to go invite them to dinner.

You knocked on the door messing with the hem of your shirt. Till it swung open and a scruffy looking man stood in front of you.

“H-hello.” You stuttered out.

“Hi there.” Joel says and you muster up your best smile.

“I live next door and me and my parents were wondering if you guys would like to come over for dinner?” You explain. You can tell the man is tired and you expect him to say no. But he gives a polite grin and nods.

“What time?” He asks and your face lights up.

“Six.” You smile.

“See you then.” He says and shuts the door as you walk off. You couldn’t help but feel giddy at the thought of him bringing the new girl in town over. You had seen her a few months back when they first found tommy. She was walking with Maria in town and you had bumped into them. The girl took a knife out of her pocket and held it to face you. You were so startled you fell back onto the snow covered floor.

“Ellie there’s no need for that.” Maria says and the girl lowers the knife as Maria helps you up.

“Sorry y/n.” She apologizes. And you dust your clothes off.

“It’s fine. I should have been watching where I was going.” You say as the girl next to her just stared at you. She had really pretty green eyes and freckles covering her frosty cheeks.

“Y/n this is Ellie. She’s a friend of Tommy’s brother.” Maria explains and you stick out a hand to shake. She looks at you funny but returns the gesture.

“Nice to meet you, I guess.” She says and you just smile ignoring that last bit.

“You too.” You say and they continue to walk leaving you to stare at the auburn haired girl.

You hadn’t been able to forget her since. She just seemed so cool and grown up compared to you. Even though you found out from your mom when they moved in that she’s the same age as you.

So as you ran home you thought of all the stuff you needed to do to get ready for tonight. You wanted her to like you.

You went into your room and shut the door loudly behind you. You stood in front of the mirror wondering if you should change your hairstyle up, or if you should put on some perfume. You changed your shirt twice and ended up laying on your bed, annoyed at the way your jeans fit, when your mom walked in.

“Are they coming over?” She asks taking in your newly messy room.

“Yeah at 6.” You say and she smiles.

“You better clean up then. What if she wants to see your room.” She teases you and you shoot up right. Looking around at the clothes scattered on your floor and the mess displayed on your vanity. You gasp internally. ‘Oh no’ is all you could think before you started to pile clothes into your hands and rush them to the laundry. Your mom just laughs before going to set the table. You finish up and rush to put on your earrings as you hear a knock at the door.

You dash past your parents and open it up. At first you only see Joel, who moves inside to greet your parents, which finally gives you a good view of her. She looked different than when you last saw her. Not really in appearance, but her demeanor. She seemed some how even more reserved. She had her hands in her pocked and a tired look on her face. All the work you had done lost all meaning in a mater of seconds and you felt humiliated realizing she probably wouldn’t care at all what you had done to look good, or how nice your room looked. But you mustered up the courage to give her a smile.

“Hi.” You say your voice almost cracking.

“Hi…” She says awkwardly. You move aside letting her in. She looks around as she gravitates towards Joel. Him and your parents notice this so as you shut the door your mom says-

“Why don’t you girls go hang out in y/n’s room as we finish up dinner.” Your heart drops as you stare at her wide eyed. Ellie just sighs and Joel nudges her in an attempt at getting her to be polite. You nervously lead the girl to your door and walk in. She stared at your posters that adorn your walls and the books and comics piled up by your bed.

“You wanna sit?” You ask motioning to the bed. She just shrugs and takes a seat. You doing the same.

“So uh, you like comics?” She asks breaking the silence and you look up at her.

“Oh yeah, I have a little collection. You like um too?” You smile and she nods.

“Yeah I had some but I couldn’t bring them to Jackson.” She says a little more comfortable than before.

“You can borrow some of mine. I’ve reread them like a hundred times so they could use some fresh eyes.” You say and she lights up.

“That would be really cool, thanks.” She says giving you a smile. It’s the first time you had seen her smile. Your stomach flipped at the sight. She was so pretty.

“So uh, do you like music?” You say and she nods enthusiastically. You spent the rest of the night getting to know each other. Talking about your interest and favorite things to do. You found out she really liked space and drawing. And you vowed to show her your favorite movies. You both were laying on your bed reading one of your comics in very loud and dramatic display when your mom knocked on the door opening it up.

“Dinner.” She says and can’t help but smile at the big grins on both of your faces.

Dinner at your respective houses became a weekly thing. And quickly a deep friendship was made. You were together all the time. You would sleep over in her garage all the time. To the point that you practically had your own drawer in her dresser. When you got old enough Maria had you and Ellie paired together on patrols. Ellie hated it. Not that she had to do them, but the fact that you got hurt so often. You’d never forget your first day. It was snowing and your feet hurt from the hours of walking in the heavy boots.

“Stay behind me okay.” She smiled moving some of your hair out of your face. You nodded and followed her around the corner towards a broken down fence. She was about to climb through when you both heard noise behind you. An infected was running straight for you. Ellie had spent weeks teaching you how to shoot. But it all seemed to slip your mind. You shot at it a few times before it tackled you to the ground. You grabbed a large rock that was next to you and tried to bash its head, but it was no use. Ellie ripped it off you stabbing it multiple times in the head. Blood splattered across her face as she did it. It fell dead to the ground and you looked up at her. The deep red lay against her frosty pale skin making your stomach flip. She kneeled in front of you and wiped away some that got on your cheek.

You had always thought Ellie was pretty. It never seemed weird to you. But in this moment you realized pretty wasn’t a good way to describe her anymore. It seemed too juvenile. Something any best friend would say. She was beautiful. When she looked at you it was almost polarizing. As she gave you a hand your grip trembled. Ellie would convince herself you were just scared after what just happened. But you knew it was the way she held on for a little too long after you got up that had your knees weak.

“Are you okay?” She asks rubbing your shoulders.

“Yeah, I’m okay…”You say not breaking eye contact.

From that day on you couldn’t help but notice little things about her. Like how she rested her hand on your waist when you would order for her at the tipsy bison. Or how she would kiss your forehead before leaving on a patrol you weren’t assigned on. Or how she was so protective of you when it came to the men in town. Little did she know they wouldn’t have a chance if they wanted one.

Ellie noticed things about you too. Like how you make sure to give her a compliment everyday. Or how you can’t help but cuddle up with her when you sleep over. Half the time leaving her aching as you sleep on her chest. Knowing it’s as close as she’s ever gonna get to what she wishes. She’s known how she’s felt about you since the first day she got here. You were just so gorgeous. It made her super nervous, so when you were so nice to her she couldn’t believe it. You began to get so close that she felt almost disgusted with how much she liked you. She even tried to date a little over the years to get over it. She dated this girl named cat who covered up her scars with a large tattoo on her forearm. But she knew that wouldn’t work out when all she could think about was how excited she was to show it to you.

The day of your 19th birthday you and a few friends went to the bar to do makeshift karaoke. Your parents, Joel, Tommy, and Maria all sat at a table in the back laughing at the sight in front of them. You and Ellie danced around like children as Dina and Jesse sang a horrible rendition of my heart will go on. When they finished up you got up and grabbed the guitar you borrowed from Joel. You start to strum and they all sit down.

You start to sing. At first all you could focus on was where you were putting your fingers. Knowing you weren’t as good as Ellie or Joel. But as you got farther into the song you looked up from the strings and at her. Whenever you heard this song you thought of her. You thought of her voice and how her skin feels against yours. You thought of how much she’s gone through and how many times she been your personal defender. You thought about how no matter what you did she was always the first and last thought you had each day. She consumed you. All you could do was stare at her as the words left you lips.

“Said she knows she lived through it to get to this moment. Ate a sleeve of saltines on my floor, and I knew then.

I would do anything you want me to.

I would do anything for you. I would do anything, I would do anything. Whatever you want me to do, I will do.

Whatever she wants, whatever she wants.

Whatever she wants

Whatever she wants

I will do anything

I will do anything

Whatever she wants

Whatever she wants…..”

The air felt thick as you both looked at each other. The others clapped and you got up walking towards her. You said nothing. Not one word. You just took a seat next to her and watched the next performance. She gripped your hand. Tight. And she didn’t let go till you got to her place that night.

You sat on her couch with a joint between your fingers and her legs entangled with yours. She ran her fingers down your thigh as she looked at you. She was humming the song you sang as you let out a puff of smoke.

You had shared endless nights like this. But the feeling that only can be described as understanding roamed through the air. You were terrified. Cause you couldn’t hold it in any longer. You turned to face her, just taking the moment in. She had changed into an old t-shirt and a pair of boxer shorts. Her hair was half tied up. And as she took the joint from your fingers to her lips, the sight of them parting made you squirm in your seat. She let out the smoke and you finally spoke up.

“Ellie.”

“Yeah?”

“I want you to know something.” You say and she hold your hand on hers.

“What’s up?” She says trying to play it cool. She can’t remember the last time she found anyone as beautiful as she found you right now.

“I- I think I’ve liked you from the day I met you.” You say in almost a whisper, causing her to chuckle nervously.

“I would hope so. We’re kinda best friends.” She jokes and you hold her hand tighter.

“Ellie. I’ve loved you since the day I met you.” You finally let out without falter. She went tense. But her face softened. You look at her trying to read her mind. You rub the back of her hand with your thumb. Causing her to shiver. She finally lets out a breath she didn’t even know she was holding in. And she smiled. She put her hand out to caress your cheek.

“God, you don’t know how long I’ve wanted to hear that.” She breathes causing you to let out a small giggle.

She moves her hand to the base of your neck. Pulling you towards her.

“Im glad. Cause you don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do this.” You whisper and gently press your lips to hers. She grins into the kiss as you run your fingers from her hands to her arms. Moving to where she’s slightly on top of you, she separates slowly. Placing small kisses around your face. You place one last kiss to her lips before you pulled her up to go lay down.

“I’ve gotta say this is probably my favorite sleep over we have ever had.” She smirks and you push her shoulder.

“You better shut up or I’m going home.” You threaten. Small laughs leaving your lips.

“Oh yeah sure. I bet you think the stuffed bear on your bed kisses better than me too.” She smiles now hovering over you. Her knees on either side of your hips as she kisses down your neck.

You grip her hips tightly messing with the hem of her shirt. Sliding your thumbs into the waistband of her boxers you tug a little causing her to nip harder at you neck. She stops for a second to remove her shirt. Causing you to stare up at her in awe.

You wrap your arms under hers and glide your fingers down her bare back.

“You’re so beautiful.” You mutter causing a pink tint to coat her cheeks. You pull her down and start to kiss a line down her chest. Returning the favor she had done to your neck. She lets out a shaky breath gripping your shirt in her hands. She pulls it off of you slowly to let the feeling of your lips linger on her skin a little longer.

“Fuck..” she whispers. A hot feeling pooling in her stomach as she looks down at your chest. She places her hand on your skin rubbing the plush of your tits softly with her thumb, making your head lean back at the feeling. Your hands rest in her hair as she leans in connecting her mouth to one. Her tongue massages the area causing you to let out a soft moan. A hand travels down to try and remove your pajama shorts. So you lift your hips to help her. Grinding into her slightly causing her to groan.

She traveled down your body leaving sloppy pecks to your skin as she goes. She thumbs the damp era of your underwear.

“Hmm.” She sounds and you look down at her. “Can I-“

“Please.” You say. Urgency in your voice.

She lowers herself to place her nose to your clothed core and she breathes in deep causing you to gasp at her actions. She tugs at the fabric helping you get it off you legs. Leaving kisses down and back up your inner thighs as she goes. Spreading you open with her fingers she plays with your folds painfully slow. Neglecting your clit on purpose just to hear you whine.

“Ellie-“

“Shhhh…” she whispers placing her lips to your cunt leaving small kisses the the area. The vibrations of her statement making you close your eyes.

She dips her tongue in grazing it up your slit. And gently sucking on your sensitive bud. You groan loudly making her grip your hips harder. Begging to move quicker she massages the area, making you grind into her face. You grip the messy bed sheets tightly as she brings a hand to slowly insert a finger into your cunt.

She moves at a delicate pace looking up at you. Your face was contorted in pleasure as you let out a moan. Your skin was starting to glisten from sweat and each time you thrust towards her, your chest would bounce. A wet spot was forming in her boxers from the sight. Your knuckles were white as you gripped her sheets. But as she moved slightly one of your hand released its grip and found a new place in her hair. Tugging slightly to direct her where you needed. She complied happily. The feeling of you clenching as she added another finger almost being enough to make her finish herself.

“Ellie don’t stop… I’m gonna…” You barley get out as she pumps her fingers in you rapidly. Running circles on your clit with her tongue as she goes. Your head rolls back as you place your other hand to palm your chest pinching yourself as a wave of release washed over your body. Letting out a string of curses as she lets you ride out your high removing her fingers. Happily cleaning you up with mouth. She kisses up your chest to your cheeks using her thumb to open your lips, she places the fingers she was just using to them. Letting you taste yourself.

“You did so good.” She smiles softly as she places a kiss to your forehead.

“I’m not done.” You say sitting up and flipping her on her back, causing her to look up at you in shock.

“It’s my turn. Whatever you want.” You smile sweetly leaving small kisses to her cheeks as you straddle her hips, locking her down.

“All I’ve ever wanted is you.” She whispers holding your face softly in her palms. Bringing you in for a kiss. It was needy. Like she was making up for lost time. Years of pent up frustration letting itself out in this moment.

You separate for a second to pull off her boxers. You notice the soaked spot but don’t say anything. Like it was a little secret all for yourself. You liked knowing that you had the same affect on her as she did for you.

You gripped her legs pulling her closer to the edge of the bed as you got down bedside it on your knees. You hoisted her thighs over your shoulder.

“God you’re so hot.” You groan as you run your palm down her toned abdomen. When you place your mouth on her slit you swear you hear her whimper out your name. She thrusts slightly on your face. Causing you to hold her down tighter. You start to move your tongue over her clit in small up and down motions, making tension build in her. You could tell she wanted to move quicker so you let her do just that. She used your face like a toy as you assisted her hips in ridding your tongue. She brought a hand down to play with her clit as you inserted your tongue in and out of her heat.

“You feel so fucking good.” She stammers out as you move her hand and replace the sensation with your lips suctioning the area and your fingers plunging in her. A loud groan escapes her lips. She couldn’t help but lean forward a little to watch you. You take notice to this and hover over her. Kissing her neck slowly. Her fingers grip your hair as your fingers continue to fill her walls. Your palm rubbing her puffy clit in the process. She becomes louder, letting out a string of curses her hips turn restless as you add another finger curling up slightly to hit her spot.

You can feel her clench around you tightly as her legs twitch. You feel her release. Cumming on your fingers making you smile against her. Kissing down her body, You remove your fingers with a steady motion. Licking her clean you drag it up to press your chest against hers. You leaned into the crook of her neck as she breathed heavily. Her chest moving up and down, mimicking yours.

You both got comfortable heads resting on her pillows as she connects her lips to yours. You feel something wet on your cheek and separate to look at her. She had small tears in the corners of her eyes. You brought your hand to caress her as she pulls you in tight, clinging to your body.

“Why are you crying?” You ask softly kissing away a tear that threatened to fall.

“I’m just so happy. I wish it wouldn’t have taken us this long to get here.” She sighs nuzzling her head in your chest with a big grin.

“Me too. Im so glad I have you.” You say running your fingers through her roots as she falls asleep in your arms. With a smile resting on her features.

[s-4pphics]

click!: in frame. 1 (e.w.)

SYNOPSIS: you crave redemption more than love. [idk au]

WORD COUNT: 7.7k

WARNINGS: professionalphotographer!ellie, strugglingartist!oc who’s black, ANGST!!, loss and unhealthy grieving, papa issues, verbally abusive parent(PLEASE TREAD LIGHTLY), depictions of therapy and counseling, light discussion of anger management, brief mention of alcohol, bullying, a lil fluff, SMUT!! YIPPEE MDNI, bondage, squirting, bathroom sex, eating out no taqueria, ellie getting sloppy from a hot milf that’s it 

You look like your mom. 

Your father’s admiring whisper yanks you out of the hazy turbulence in your mind. You shovel a handful of caramel popcorn in your mouth. You don’t dare look at him. 

Daughter things, I guess. Your dad simply hums. Silence simmers between the two of you. It’s not comforting. Not like it should be. A bomb is coming. 

Honey, I… I love you. Your father sounds like he's crying and it pauses your aggressive chewing. You finally turn to face him and your fingers twitch when you see his globby tears. They’re heavy as he releases his regrets in silence, just like he always does during this time of year. 

Me, too, dad. 

You’re not sure if you’re lying or not. Some things are impossible to forget, you suppose. 

You eat more popcorn with a permanently damaged heart. 

FOUR YEARS LATER

FIRST DAY WITH DOCTOR BROWN. 

“Some people believe that any form of assistance is… insulting. Whether it be to them as people or… specific traits that they hold that others may find unfamiliar or unsettling. I’m not here to judge or anything of that nature. Just here to help you figure out why specific aspects of your life affect you the way they do.” 

Your arms cross over your chest. Dr. Brown realizes you’re not taking the bait, so she attempts to get you more comfortable. “I think icebreakers could help ease some of the tension. So… What’s your favorit— “

“My dad died last year.” 

Your statement makes her freeze, her smile melting off her face, eyes shifting across her face. She adjusts some papers on her clipboard and clicks her pen. “Alright, hun,” Her gentle tone makes your stomach twist. “Let’s talk about it. What was the relationship with your dad like?” You simply shrug. 

Dr. Brown nods and tries again. “Were you and him close? Your notes say you and your mother were inseparable, just like me and mine.” 

Your nails sink into your cuticles and tears burn in your eyes, “I… I wanted to be. Close.” You whisper. “He wasn’t around like that, though.” 

She scribbles and solemnly nods, “Did he work often?” Your head bobs and droplets stream down your cheeks. 

“I didn’t think I’d care that he died… He was never around growing up, so… like, whatever.” You grumble lamely.

“What did losing him feel like?” 

The end of your mouth curls downward, the familiar searing you’ve grown to loathe, “Like… the world was burnin’.” 

“Elaborate.” She pries softly. 

Another bounce from your shoulders. You readjust in your seat. “I wasn’t even sad. Just…” You trail off, fingers twitching under your arm. 

“Angry. I was angry all the time.” You rush out quietly, face burning with shame. “Just like he was.” You pause when your breath shakes, “I wish I got some of my mom’s traits. My dad’n I are just alike.” You fiddle with the sleeves of your sweater. 

“… You’re not like him— “

“I am— “

“You’re not. You’re trying to put in effort to be better for the future. Could he have said the same?” She’s stern when she speaks.

You’re stumped. You wipe your tears harshly. For the first time, you're at a loss for words. 

WEEK TWO WITH DOCTOR BROWN. 

“Think about the first time you saw your dad lash out. You can elaborate on how you felt, how you reacted, how your environment changed… Anything you feel comfortable sharing.” Your eyes stay glued to your therapist’s couch as you recall the day. Every detail and foul verbiage he directed towards your mother resurfaces and falls at your sock-covered feet. 

It was the morning of your first day of second grade. Your mother spent the entire morning hot-combing your hair, bumping your ends, littering your locks that were bound to recoil in seconds in bobbles and clips. She could tell by your expression that you didn’t like it, but she completed your bright pink outfit with it’s not for you, it’s for me! Sit still!  She never failed to live vicariously through you; Every childhood moment she couldn’t live out was now yours. 

Your father wasn’t around much. He was a truck-driver, on a constant voyage to wherever he was instructed to go, hundreds to thousands of miles away from solace for months — sometimes years at a time. He missed birthdays, holidays, family reunions; There was always a missing space for him somewhere in your childhood home, whether it be his customized keychain that he forgot, shoes he didn’t pack, a hug he didn’t give. Proof of him was always scattered around somewhere, but he was a shadow. A blank memory. 

So, why were your cartoons interrupted by his booming voice in the kitchen? 

You remember turning the television down, only by a couple digits, your ears honing in on every word he screamed at your mother. You were so confused. Half of those words you’d never heard before. Why was he so mad this early in the morning? 

You knew it was serious when your mother retaliated just as loudly, the cracks and shrieks from her belts sounding alarms in your brain. Your mom’s in trouble! Help her! But how could you? You were defenseless against him. It felt like the day flew by as their aggression intensified, curses nearly shattering the glass of your backyard door before everything went quiet. 

But still, your feet carried you to peek behind the wall that separated the living room from the kitchen. Your attempts at being discreet were pointless, though. When you saw your mother pinned up against the counter by your father, tears streaming down her face as he spat with every whisper onto her cheek, you gasped. Your memory is washy after that, but you remember your mother wiping her tears and slapping that comforting grin on her face. You wish you didn’t remember how broken she sounded when she said alright, baby! Ready for school? Don’t wanna be late! 

You suffered through social studies, language arts, and math. Your mind wasn’t where it should’ve been; You couldn’t shake the fact that your mother could be hurt and she had no one to tell. You just prayed to yourself as your teacher spoke, hoping that your mom would be on time to pick you up at the end of the day. 

Your eyes travel over the teal incisions of thread on your therapist’s seat. You’re still not used to the sound of your own voice. “It’s… it’s a funny story…” You sound so weak. You retell what you can, all while following the tip of your therapist’s scribbling pen. 

Why did it have to be green? Why are the clicks deafening? 

“Ellie, holy fucking — shit, these look fucking incredible!” Yuki whispers, expression impressed as she snoops over the auburn-haired girl’s shoulder, inspecting the aerial shots she’d taken a few hours ago. Editing is a bitch. “I don’t know how you do it. You’re…” 

“A genius, I know,” Ellie says dryly, a soft grin hidden behind the hand that holds her head up. It’s almost eleven. “M’almost done— “

“Nope! Not happening!” Another voice exclaims from the black lounge chair on the opposite side of the room. “You’re not the one that has to lock up every goddamn night! I ain’t stayin’ here ‘til two again! You got two seconds to finish up before I drag you up outta here.” 

Yuki giggles at Saliyah’s scolding, and Ellie sighs. The pictures look almost perfect. Almost. They’re not there yet! All she needs is an hour… or three—

“What did I say! —“

“Alright, alright, fuck.” Ellie shakes her head before closing all her tabs, pulling her flash drive out of the PC before shutting it down. She stands from her rolling chair and snags her blazer from over the back of it, throwing it over her shoulders and grabbing her work bag, camera already securely inside. She shoves the drive in a random pocket before stretching. 

The two girls already have all of their belongings in hand, more than ready to clock the fuck out. Yuki eyes her slyly, sarcasm dripping from her tone, “Oh, wooow, she’s actually taking orders, now? Listening to instructions for the first time? —“

“Can you stop.” Ellie mutters as she follows the girls descending the stairs. “No!” They both say in unison. Ellie smiles. Does she really stay out that often? There’s no way she’s that stubborn. 

All three girls crack jokes as they vacant the building, ensuring all the lights and equipment are shut off and prepped for tomorrow. It’s an early day. 

“Alright, bitches!” Yuki screams into the darkness, bag swinging as her heels click-clack on the pavement. “I want you bright and bushy-tailed tomorrow! Busy day! No time to fuck arou— “ 

Saliyah yawns, eyes droopy, “Girl… fuck you.” Ellie cackles and rubs her tired eyes. She can’t wait to get these six hours in. And see her baby. Saliyah wraps her arms around Ellie’s neck, muttering see you tomorrow, stinker into her neck. Ellie hums and holds her before watching her get into her vehicle. 

Ellie does the same after both girls leave the parking lot, her head falling back onto the headrest, eyes shutting in exhaustion. Today was insane… Fuck, it was incredible. She's always accepted opportunities to take photos in nature. Landscapes are her prestige, but when she got the offer to take aerial shots of the ocean, she couldn’t say no. Just when she thought she’d never get on an aircraft out of fear…  

The shots were mystical, the monsoon winds carrying the waves in all directions as the foams ripple, a scene straight out of her dreams. The second she got off the helicopter, she got to editing. Staying in late to perfect her captures has become a terrible habit, but what can she say? She loves her job. Thank God her coworkers are as sweet as cherry pie and support her bad habit. Besides tonight, apparently. 

Days like this keep Ellie humbled… Most times. She deserves to boast every once in a while. She often thinks back on her college days, how out of touch chances like these seemed. The number of times she was brushed off by respected professionals because she lacked “necessary resources” was astronomical. But look at her now. She had everything she could ever want: a career she’s passionate about, healthy friendships, and the means to take care of her father. 

Well… she has most things. 

She sighs and starts her vehicle, the diamonds in her Rolex sparkling under the street lights beaming in from the window. The streets are calm. Not normally bustling like they would on a regular day. The clouds are coming in; Rain is due. She’s so excited. 

It’s a calm drive back to her small home. She pulls into the driveway and exits with all her supplies, unlocking and entering her place of peace. 

Meow! Meow! 

Ellie clicks her tongue at Pickle, “Hiii, mama. I’m home.” She drops her bag on the small couch near the front door, bending down to pick her up. “You’re heavy, fuck.” The baby purrs and nuzzles into her neck as they enter the kitchen. She sets her down on the counter and opens the fridge for water. There’s soft scuffling from behind her as she sips. 

Ellie turns to see Pickle playing with a pen, rolling it across granite. She swallows her last gulp before sighing, picking up the utensil, the one memory she kept of you. Your colorful fucking custom ballpoint pen. Pickle nibbles her fingers, trying to snatch it back to play with, but Ellie clicks it over and over. 

“Miss her? Yeah?” She whispers. Pickle licks her index. Ellie will never admit it, but she thinks about you whenever she sees her baby. Yours, too.

She hopes you’re alright.

“You said that going to his funeral was different from your mom’s. Do you mind elaborating?” 

You shrug and scoff. “Shouldn’t everybody feel sad when they parents die?” Dr. Brown mimics you, “Not at all. Every reaction to loss is different and not all reactions are symmetrical.” 

“I was angry.” Your statement is blunt and abrasive. 

“Expound.” 

“I wanted to dig him up and spit on him my damn self.” You say, sharp as razor blades. Brown hums, unfazed by your sudden aggression; What the hell do therapists write on those clipboards? “I just… Seein’ all these fuckers I didn’t know talk about how fuckin’… great he was and how missed he’ll be was fuckin’ infuriating. They don’t know shit about that man or the shit he’s done.” 

Sympathy washes over Dr. Brown’s pupils. “See, your temper is the reason you’re here. You’re not obligated to forgive anybody that wronged you, but…” She’s simultaneously stern and empathic, “You do not get to use those emotions to inflict negativity onto the people around you. You’re perpetuating the same harm you wanted to avoid in the first place.”  

You instantly know what she’s referring to and guilt radiates all the way down to your toes. Amaya… Oh, you miss her. Another good person caught in your violent crossfire. Your last conversation was vile, and you hate yourself every day for the things you said to the only person who unconditionally cared about your wellbeing. Tears brew in your ducts, but you blink them away. 

“I didn’t… know what to do…” You didn’t, so you screamed and shouted and told her to never call your fucking phone again. The last thing you berated was the final nail in the coffin for your relationship. You left me, you’d said over and over until the line went dead. You left me alone! I fucking needed you! 

“No one has the answers for these types of situations. Why we react the way that we do to traumatic events will always be a mystery.” She adjusts in her chair, leg crossing over the other. “What I do know is that… you’re fighting grief. You’re choosing not to experience it, and it’s making you lash out on people who don’t deserve it.” 

But how does one grieve the person that made their life… unlivable? Through rage. Rage in its purest form: unfiltered, erratic, sizzling. It’s unrelenting and unforgiving and holds no bounds, prepared to be released at any moment, no matter who’s present. Your father’s home has seen it all at this point: glass shattering on walls, screaming into the closet where all his clothes hang, punching the pillow he slept on every night. 

Everything was exactly where your father left it, and instead of crying, you relinquished hell on the home he left in your name. You’re still surprised it wasn’t engulfed in flames after his funeral. 

“I just…” Harsh sniffles from you, desperately wiping your tears with damp hoodie sleeves, “I don’t know what to do. Nothing feels… real anymore.” 

“You’re real, baby.” This is the most delicate Dr. Brown has ever sounded, tone hushed. “Your feelings are real, your pain is real, but so is everyone else’s. You have to remember that.” 

You’re listening so intently, “What I'd suggest…” You already know what she’s going to say, and you’re petrified. You sag into your seat. 

You owe those two girls an apology.

Flashes of green race across your memory. The meadows are back, and they’re haunting. 

“Three.” You whisper. 

“Hm?” 

“I owe…” A heavy exhale. “Three girls an apology.” 

OCTOBER, 2013 

Ellie’s officially fifteen. She’d give anything to be home right now. 

She was so happy before she left that morning. Her dad woke her up with a heaping stack of iced chocolate chip pancakes that were the size of her head and happy birthday candles. Laughter echoed through their household, following as they cascaded down the stairs to blast music. Neighbors be damned. Everything was perfect. Up until she was dressed and ready and in the car. 

Ellie’s dad held her hand the entire drive. He didn’t comment on her white knuckles as she gripped his digits when he kissed the back of her hand. It took her a second to exit the car when they arrived, so he said the usual. You got this, kiddo. The extra encouragement provided a boost, for sure. She was able to get to class on time. 

Every time a wad of paper or a sharpened pencil hits the back of her head, she regrets not begging her dad to let her stay home. She’s grown used to the snickers, the shoulder chucks in the hallway, but it doesn’t hurt any less.

English concludes and she’s silently packing when her bag gets yanked out of her hand. 

Missed you, stalker, A kid who Ellie doesn’t fucking remember snarks with a dark grin. Where’s that book you always have—

Tyler! The teacher’s voice booms, the class filling with oooh’s, That's enough. Give her stuff back now. 

C’mooon, I can’t talk to my girlfriend? The remaining students burst into laughter and Ellie’s face burns, swallowing the lump that’s forming in her throat. 

How about I call home? Tyler sucks his teeth at the threat while his friends laugh, dropping Ellie’s things on her desk with little care. She wastes no time to flee, shoving her earpods in and synching each trembling breath with the heavy percussion. 

Her dad comes to pick her up an hour later. 

-

-

A light tap on your shoulder tears your attention away from the lengthy equations on the board. Numbers and letters? Your fucking ass; Absolutely not!

You turn to Amaya, who’s smiling wide, shoving a folded note in your hand, rushing you to open it. Your brows crease as you face forward, unraveling the nest crevices and met with… hearts? Glitter? Pretty penmanship? No man wrote this, thank God. 

Hi. You’re really pretty and nice. Would you like to sit with me during lunch? 

Ceniyah 

… Ceniyah? … Thee Cece? The person you’ve been obsessed with since middle school? What the fuck is going on! 

You turn back to Amaya who’s giggling into her palm, catching glimpses of a shy Ceniyah, who keeps her head down, her beaded braids shielding her face. Your face burns and you jerk back forward. It’s not a fucking prank, what the fuck, what the fuck—

Class drags like a bitch, but the bell finally rings, and everyone hustles, shoving books in their bags, running to the cafeteria. You refuse to move, though. Your iron is low and the person you’re in love with asked you to crunch on celery sticks with her. Alone. You're bound to pass out the second you breathe wrong. 

Hi.

You nearly fly out of your seat at her soft tone. She sounds like an angel. You’re going to die. You jump out of your chair and… take in the beauty that she is. She smells like heaven and her skin is perfect, not a blemish in sight. You hope she can’t see your acne scars… and she’s shorter than you. Are minors allowed to get married? 

H-Hey, You hold up the pink piece of construction paper, I, uh, got your note… It’s beautiful. Her smile shines brighter than the sun. She shakes her head and the chains locked on her clips tinker like fairies. 

Are you kiddin’ me! That mural you helped create was crazy. That was beautiful. 

I love you. 

Your eyes go wide. Did you say that? You don’t think you said that… Her smile turns confused and you realize you said that. You almost stab yourself with your pencil. I mean, like, I love how you appreciate art! Like, not m-many people… do that, and stuff…

She smirks and your heart squeezes with delight, And stuff? She inquires with an arched brow. 

I’d appreciate it if you ladies headed to lunch so I can enjoy mine. Your teacher interrupts, And the next note that gets passed earns a detention. 

A soft, floral-scented hand closes around your wrist, over your beaded bracelets and charms. You grab your bag with your last remaining strength and follow her like a puppy, her flowy skirt brushing against the bottoms of your jean-clad legs. 

Best… day… ever. 

PRESENT 

Ellie needs to start doing finger stretches. Her hands are starting to hurt every time she clocks out. 

She’s sitting at her desk, re-editing the infant photos she took earlier today. The twin girls from earlier were absolute angels, smiling and cooing up at the camera behind their matching pink pacifiers. She's never thought about having children… ever, but it might not be so bad—

Meow! Meow, meow! MeowMEOW—

… Nevermind. Kids are not for her. She can barely get this one to act right. The pictures are cute, though. 

“What’s the matter, mama?” She coos down at a doe-eyed kit-kat. “Hungies?” Pickle jumps up and into her lap, staring at the bright screen that displays Ellie’s editing software. Ellie smirks down at her, “What, you wanna try?” 

Pickle blinks up at her. No thoughts, just kibble. 

She decides to save her progress on the photos and give her munchkin some love. The few minutes of head pats and runs are cut short when she gets a pop-up from her email. She pays it no mind at first, but she zeroes in on the subject with furrowed brows. It simply reads hi… an overdue apology. Ellie blinks a couple times before suspecting spam… But who the fuck names a spam email something that cryptic? What the fuck? 

Ellie opens it… and her body goes numb as her eyes follow each word. 

hi, ellie. i’m not sure how to start this off, but i hope it’s decent enough to sit through. i apologize in advance. 

you probably don’t remember me, but we had statistics and used to live together in college. it was only for two months (i think, kind of a blur) but… yeah. i hope it semi-kinda rings a bell. hi again.

this is a very random time to reach out, and i understand any confusion, but i just wanted to apologize for everything. i was terrible to you. i'd never thought i'd become a judgmental person, but i did. i mocked you, i spoke behind your back, and probably ruined your last year of school, and i carry that regret with me everywhere i go. i’m not sure if i'll ever be able to express my remorse properly. 

i’m trying to do better. i want to do better, but i can’t unless i express it. 

you never have to talk to me again, and i understand if you don’t, but if you ever want to have a conversation with me, i’d be more than willing to come wherever you are to do so. or we can exchange numbers if it’s less of a hassle. i see how busy you are. 

thank you if you took out any time to read this jumbled mess of thoughts. i’m very nervous. i hope you continue to live beautifully. 

sincerely, someone trying to start fresh. 

(p.s. i swear i'm not a stalker. you’re really popping on instagram. congratulations on everything.) 

Ellie wastes no time and unplugs her entire PC, the screen going black. Her heart is racing and water surfaces above her pupils. Pickle purrs in her arms as she backs her rolling chair from under the desk and scurries into her bedroom. She sets the kitty down on her bed and clutches her chest. She forgets to count, forgets to breathe as detailed images of you scatter in her head. 

You… what the fuck.

Ellie feels her hands start to shake, so she squeezes them in a fist as she paces. Her gasps are choked and she’s spiraling into panic; She can’t unsee your teary, brown eyes, how you tried to mask your sadness when she stated she was leaving. She was able to convince herself that she’d never see you again, and it took her so long to be okay with that. She’s grown to be okay without your presence.

The burnt trail she left behind has reignited again. She's sinking, drowning, just like she did years ago. 

WEEK FIVE WITH DR. BROWN

“How do you feel now? Be honest.” 

“… Still shitty… but alright, I guess.” You’re hoarse when you speak. 

“Elaborate. What does alright mean for you?” 

You pick at your fingers, “I’m not… I don’t wanna, like, kill myself… if that’s what you’re asking. The ball’s in their court now, I guess. I’m… I’m just alright.” Your shoulders bounce in a shrug. 

“Has anyone answered?” Your head shakes in denial. “Don’t let that jeopardize your progress. However they react to you contacting them is not on you anymore. They either accept it or they don’t, and they’re valid in both options.” 

Dr. Brown pauses and eyes you skeptically, “What?” You ask. 

She shrugs, “One person isn’t on your making amends list.” 

Your reply is immediate, “Probably for a reason.” 

“Do you remember what you told me during our first meeting?” 

Irritation boils under your skin. “I see where you’re taking this conversation and I’m not messin’ wit’ it… Respectfully. Next topic, please.” 

Her hands raise in surrender, “Ay’, I’m not here to make you do diddly-squat. Merely providing perspective.” 

“Right.” 

“You did beat that girl to a pulp, though. I will say— “

“It’s what she deserved.” You say flatly. “She… humiliated me, and when her bitch left, she tried to come back to me. Get me pregnant— “

“Chile, I’m not tryna hear all that— “

You scoff and fall back in your seat, cushions and pillows molding with the curve of your spine. Dina bringing her happy ass to your father’s home after his death was one of the most infuriating experiences of your entire goddamn life. The second you opened the door, you were met with wildfire and permanently scarred. The least you could do is give her a fucking black eye. 

What you did after that… you’ll never regret. Ever. She can blast you on Twitter all she wants; She’s dead to you. 

Dr. Brown sips on her black tea with a pointed stare, “Yes, ma’am?” You say sarcastically. 

“Watch that tone,” That look in her eye… she meant that. You’ll be quiet. “She was wrong for what she did, but you ain’t innocent.” 

“I’m sorry, but I disagree. That one… she can choke. I don’t care.” Dr. Brown is disappointed by your answer, but frankly, you don’t care. That ship sailed and sank like the goddamn Titanic. 

She seems disappointed in your answer, but she lets it go. “… Alright, then.” 

On the brink of a heart attack perfectly explains how Ellie’s been feeling for the past week. The number of times she’s reread your fucking email is genuinely embarrassing, but she’s weighing her options: she either blocks you or accepts your offer. She's never been so conflicted in her life. She desperately needs a fucking break. 

She never takes Saliyah and Yuki up on their offers to turn up on Friday nights, but her rampant emotions backed her into a corner… and now she’s tipsy on the dancefloor of some rinky-dink club. One night of release wouldn’t hurt. 

Ellie really wishes she had a grilled cheese. They’re quite delicious… Probably not the thoughts she should be having with a hot older woman pushing back on her to fucking T-Pain, but she’s hungry! Liquor gives her the appetite of a fucking rhinosaurous, what can she say! 

Saliyah and Yuki are handling business for her, though, giving the lady’s ass very encouraging slaps every time their hips connect. Ellie probably looks like a fucking dumbass as she pumps her fist in the air like an old man, but she can’t remember the last time she partied. Sue her! 

It’s not until the woman stands upright, her sweaty, nearly bare back pressed against Ellie’s button-up, an arm coming up to loop around her neck, slightly shifting her bow tie that Ellie freezes, her fists clenching even tighter in the air. Her core gives a sharp squeeze when she feels sticky, glossed lips imprint on her throat. Her eyes bulge as she frantically searches for guidance from her friends, but they’re no fucking help, as usual! What the hell is miming sex and eating pussy going to do for her? She can barely breathe. 

Her friends shoot her finger guns in encouragement before heading back to the bar. A tongue darts out to lap up her anxiety-induced sweat, and her body tremors, her hands untwisting to land on the girl’s jean covered hips for leverage. She feels teeth beam on her neck and her entire body flushes. 

“You’re adorable!” Ellie hears her scream over the blasting music. Her tongue jumbles as she searches for a reply, but nothing leaves. She just drops her head onto the woman’s shoulder… and nearly flat lines when she eyes the cleavage sitting taut in her halter top. Her heart’s pulses synch with the ones from her clit when the woman giggles. Ellie’s ninety-five-point six percent sure that her nipples are poking through her shirt. 

Her teeth sink into the inside of her cheek when the woman spins to face her, chest to chest, noses almost touching. The woman’s gaze drops to her neck, cunning as a fox as she undoes the first button of her shirt before unraveling the loop of her bow tie. She leans in, wafts of cinnamon flooding Ellie’s nostrils. 

“Come to the bathroom with me?” Ellie’s nodding before the lady can conclude the purr in her ear. Her hand gets snagged and she’s being dragged through the hot crowd, all the way to the back of the club and shoved into the giant restroom. She finally takes in the goddess in front of her: dark hair, plump lips, pretty lashes. The wrinkles by her eyes and laugh lines are sending dopamine alarms in her brain. 

Ellie receives one gentle kiss that makes her hips

grind forward before she hears, “You ever been tied up?” The raven-haired woman mumbles against her mouth. She whines, cheeks burning, “N-No,” she whispers. 

Her perfect teeth shine, “You wanna be?” 

Does she? “I — yeah, I guess?” 

“Put your wrists together,” she hums and Ellie does. Her own bow tie gets looped and twisted around her nimble hands. The woman drops to her knees in front of the trembling girl, massaging her thighs over her jeans, planting kisses all over them, “You gotta name, honey?” 

“Ellie… M’Ellie…” The woman’s hands creep up to unbutton her jeans, the soft hiss of the zipper, “What’s yours?” She only receives a shrug. “Whatever you want it to be.” Her jeans are yanked down seconds later, her… fucking Cartoon Network boxers drenched all the way through. The woman giggles and calls Ellie a cutie pie and her clit jumps. 

Her manicured nails hook under the band of Ellie’s boxers, slowly inching them down until her soft, sticky hairs are on display and her boxers are around her knees, “Gonna let me eat this pussy out, angel?” 

Ellie’s vision whites out. Only for a second, “Y-Yes, ma’am…”

Ellie’s sopping lips and pulled apart, her red, throbbing clit on display for the fucking witch in front of her. “You’re so fuckin’ cute. Anybody ever play with this pretty cunt?” Reality crashes down on her like a boulder as images of you touching her, kissing her flash before her eyes. Her jaw slacks as her words flurry. 

“Just — fuck, just one time.” 

“Yeah?” She coos, massaging gentle circles on her clit, “I'm your lucky second?” Ellie nods frantically. Her knees buckle when a sharp slap lands on her pussy, “Ffuck—“ The strokes on her clit are punishing, fast and non-stopping, the woman’s teeth gritted when she asks, “Steppin’ out on your girl, huh?” 

Ellie moans around her denial while her cheeks glow, “N— agh, s-shit, wasn’t m’girl—“

“Yeah? She touch you like me?” The woman snickers, and Ellie burns red. She’s already so close and she can’t fucking think, “Think m’cummin’—“ Ellie slurs, her tongue thick in her mouth as her walls squeeze down, desperately trying to pull something, anything in as deep as possible. 

“Can feel it. Tell me when.” But Ellie couldn’t. Her orgasm crashes into her like a fucking truck and her body falls forward, legs trembling as it wracks through her in harsh waves. The thighs that try to close are forced open, sharp stings radiating off her skin from the nails that pierce them. Strong suctions attack Ellie’s clit and she sobs, practically riding the woman’s face. Vibrations from satisfied hums stimulate her further, and she swears she’s going to pass out. 

The pleasure builds all over again and her eyes squeeze shut, her hips thrusting forward and into the woman’s mouth. Her optics cycle into her skull when the space right below her clit gets stimulated just right and she rides that edge all over again, but this time, it’s stronger. The woman’s groaning in her pussy like she’s starving, and Ellie can barely garble her warning of another orgasm. 

She squeaks when a gentle finger slides between her walls and she wishes it felt like yours did. Ellie’s bound hands entangle in the soft locks and pull, pushing her head any which way to guide her where she needs. She doesn’t register that she’s whining your name until the woman asks, “Tha’s your girl?” Right on her pussy, and Ellie tips.

She’s so loud when she explodes all over this stranger’s face, wetness coating her inner thighs, dripping all the way down to the bottoms locked around her ankles. You take refuge in the nasty side of her brain as she envisions you between her legs, you making her feel this good. Something about the way you touch her… She thinks it's impossible to replicate till this day. 

When Ellie comes down, she falls against the door, relishing in the steady kitten licks on her twitching bud. One last gentle kiss, and the woman separates from the mess between Ellie’s thighs, chest wet with her juices. 

“Good, honey?” 

Ellie blinks like she’s risen from the dead, short hair clinging to her forehead. She shoots the woman two thumbs up and she chuckles, untying Ellie’s hands and helping her back onto her feet. The woman helps her redress after she cleans herself up, and Ellie’s nose twitches when her own stickiness latches onto her clothes. Her arms fall back to her sides when her belt gets secured. 

She’s winded when she finally speaks, “Um… thanks…” How the fuck does Ellie say goodbye to someone who sucked her soul out?

“No problem…” The woman’s warm hands are soft as they push away damp strands from Ellie’s forehead. The freckled girl nearly purrs. Call her Pickle at this point. 

Ellie steps away from the door so that the fucking seductress can exit. The woman backs away and unlocks the door with a gentle smile. “You should text her.” 

Ellie’s stomach churns. “… What.” 

“The girl that’s not your girl.” That’s the last thing she says before stepping out. Ellie’s heart plummets when her eyes lock with Saliyah’s, then Yuki’s. Her friends gawk at her disheveled appearance, lipstick stains littered all over her button up. Ellie’s not nearly as embarrassed as she should be; All she can think about is you. 

“I think I’m in trouble.” Ellie states mindlessly.

“Doesn’t look like it.” Yuki snickers and pulls Ellie out of the bathroom. She hides her face when she’s met with the long line of people desperately needing to piss. 

WEEK SEVEN WITH DOCTOR BROWN.

“You look bright.” 

You feel brighter. Just a little bit. You’ve finally gotten your locs retwisted. 

“Amaya texted me back.” Dr. Brown seems impressed at your statement, happy for you. A small smile makes its way onto your face. 

“Yeah? What’d Ms. Producer say?” 

“She, um… She wants to have dinner.” 

“Oh? And what’d you say?” 

“I said of course and then sobbed until I got here.” Dr. Brown chuckles, “When’s the big meal?” 

“In two days. I got a hotel near where she’s at, so… Yeah. Probably won’t see me for a little.” 

“Good for you, honey.” She says proudly, “Heard from any others?” Your head shakes. It’s not surprising that Abby and Ellie haven’t reached out to you. They don’t owe you any closure, even though it took you a while to accept your karma. 

“Progress is progress, nonetheless.” Her tone reverts back to stern, “Remember… when you see that girl, don’t expect anything to come from it. She’s going out of her way to speak with you, not the other way around.” 

Your head bows shamefully. You're incredibly nervous to see your best friend… if you deserve to call her that anymore. Anxiety isn’t foreign to you, but you’re anticipating the worst for your meeting. You’d give anything to mend your relationship with Amaya, but how’re you going to be able to overcome the guilt of abandoning her?

You can’t remember the last time you went to the campus coffee shop. 

When Amaya sent you her new address in the middle of your old college city, you sobbed for half an hour. You’re not sure why considering the entirety of your graduating class is gone (hopefully in hell); It’s a mix of emotions coming back here. The baristas that used to work here have been replaced with new bushy-tailed freshmen with under eye bags. The coffee isn’t the best, but it’s oddly nostalgic. You feel fucking old just looking at their bright customer service smiles.

Your attention gets snagged away from your steaming cup when a sharp gasp echoes from behind you, nearly spilling your drink all over your flannel when someone calls your name. Anxiety spikes in your gut when you see… 

Who is that? 

“Oh my goodness! Sweetheart!” An older woman with gray hair and a cardigan places her hand on your shoulder and your eyes bulge out of your skull. “It’s so good to see you!”

What the fuck is going on? “You... You, too, uh… ma’am!” You put on the most believable smile you can. Is your memory really this fucking bad?

“Students don’t usually stick around after this long! Our major was pretty small, you know how it is.” Major… Students… Graphic design… Professor! Your memory clicks but her name doesn’t. What the fuck is this woman’s name! You feel like a cunt all over again! 

“I’d love to catch up if you’re sticking around!” 

“Um… yeah, of course.” Her smile is bright when she enters the line. Relief floods through you when she gets to the service counter and one of the baristas says good morning, Professor Meyers! 

You silently thank the Lord. 

-

-

“What brings you back to town, honey!” Professor Meyers asks excitedly. 

“Um… just missin’ school, I guess.” You lie. Fuck this school. 

She swallows her sip of tea before pausing, “Wow. First time I heard that. I didn’t see you at graduation!” 

Your chest concaves and your face burns, “I, uh. I didn’t graduate. I dropped out.” Professor Meyers' expression drops, pity written all over her face. 

“Wh— Why?” 

You shut down her interrogation, “I just… stuff happened. I couldn’t handle everything all at once.” Her eyes sadden and she places a comforting hand on top of yours. 

“I’m so sorry, honey. Whatever it was… I hope it’s okay, now.” 

“Getting through it.” You shrug, feigning nonchalance. The air is suddenly suffocating. 

“Y’know… if you’re interested…” Professor Meyers’ tone is suggesting. Your brow quirks at the woman plotting in front of you. 

“Some of the art profs are always looking for some extra help for the introductory courses. Your rough drafts were always pretty spectacular.” 

Your body burns. “Thank you.” 

She smiles and reaches into her bag in the other chair, pulling out a small card and handing it to you. “This is my contact information. I can set you an interview with Professor Ronson if you’d wanna join the little alumni support team.” 

You accept her card, “But I’m not… I didn’t graduate— “

“Oh, hush now! If you go to college, you’re an alumni! These exclusive rules are outdated!” Professor Meyers stands with her bag and tea. “I gotta run, but please consider it! It could be a great marketing opportunity for you!” 

You're left to simmer in your thoughts as she rushes out of the cafe. You didn’t even have the chance to tell her that you haven’t touched a canvas since your father’s funeral. 

You waltz into the upscale restaurant with tied lungs. Prepping an outfit for tonight was a hassle; You were forced to rummage through your father’s closet for suitable attire. You can’t remember the last time you made a purchase for yourself. 

You feel out of place standing here with the… upper class. They’re dressed to the nines and it’s incredibly intimidating. Your eyes cast downward to your wrinkly shirt and blazer; Why didn’t you bring a fucking iron? 

“How can I help you, miss?”

Your eyes bulge when they lock with the host’s and gut churns with discomfort. Your legs wobble closer to the counter, “I— there’s… reservation…”

The host stares at you with utter confusion, “Oh, sure! What’s the name?” 

“Um… Amaya— “

“Ms. Robinson?” The host’s eyes fill with glitter, “Oh my gosh, when I saw her walk in earlier, I was like, no way she’s actually here. This is crazy! But it was really her! I couldn’t believe— “

Another host interjects, “My apologies, ma’am! She’s a bit, uh, excited. Your table is right this way.” The host begins walking, and your feet move on autopilot, “Would you like a menu?” 

“No. I’m good, thanks.” You won’t be able to keep anything down anyway. 

You move through bustling walkways, ears filled with bouts of obnoxious laughter and corny jokes with each table you pass. 

Your heart stutters in your chest when you see the isolated leather and rosewood booth where Amaya sits, her back to you. There’s two glasses and a bottle of… something on the table. 

“Ms. Robinson! Your guest is here!” 

Amaya, filled glass in hand, cranes her neck and meets your flitting gaze. Her eyes are stagnant, unmoving, and your nerves wrack. She looks fucking immaculate with the slit in her black dress, smokey makeup, heeled

shoes. She’s dressed down for a fucking funeral. Yours. 

You’re actually not ready to see her. You’re not ready at all. 

-

-

“You want a glass?” 

Amaya’s tone is cold. Colder than the dripping neck of the bottle right in front of you. “N-No thank you.” 

She scoffs laughter around the rim, “Shocking.” You scramble for a reply, anything to say to the woman oozing impatience in front of you. 

“I’m sorry.” You whisper. She sets her glass down with an unsteady clink. 

“You said that already.” She states, brown eyes sharp. “Why are you?” 

You scratch at your ear, trying to mask the tremors in your fingertips, “Because… I — I wasn’t…” 

“I don’t hear from you for months,” She spits, “And then I get a phone call from my drunk best friend screamin’ at me, tellin’ me that I fucking left her to grieve by herself… because I’m selfish and money hungry… Right?”

Angry tears sizzle in Amaya’s eyes as she continues, “And I still come and visit you… only to get a door slammed in my fuckin’ face.” 

You’re completely frozen; You can barely look her in the eye. Your hands are clenched together under the table, nausea creeping up your throat. “I… there’s no excuse for what I did— “

Amaya’s eyes are void, “Why did you do it.” 

“I don’t know how to explain it,” you rush out, desperate. You’re losing her, “He — I was just — I couldn’t control myself and I screamed and yelled and blamed everyone for what happened. I was just so mad and I couldn’t stop— “

“Abby called me two days ago.” 

You gasp, “S-She did—?” 

“She told me she hated you.” Amaya says plainly. The remaining shards of your heart dissipate like dust, leaving your mouth when you whimper, “O-Okay.” Tears stream down your cheeks and neck, harsh sniffles filling the small corner of the restaurant. “She hasn’t, um… never mind.” That’s why she hasn’t reached out, you suppose. Well deserved. 

“I don't… hate you, you know that, right?” 

You sob, palms in your eyes, “S’okay if you do. I deserve it.” 

She shrugs, “I don’t. I’m just very disappointed in you.” You nod in agreement, in understanding. You accept that this is probably the last time you’ll ever see someone you considered a sister. 

“I’m so sorry, May— “

“M’gonna head out. I’m,” She wipes a tear and grabs her bag, throwing a hundred-dollar bill on the table. “I… I don’t hate you.” You cry as you watch Amaya gather herself, stand, and leave without another word. You heave and attempt to dry your face with the fresh napkin but they won’t stop flowing. 

It’s difficult, accepting that you’re undeserving. That you’ve dug yourself into a hole that you can’t escape. It’s dark and cold and you’re desperate for comfort but it never comes because you chased it all away. You eye the tall bottle that sweats; Very tempting, but you leave it where it stands. The blame for your downfall is yours to take; The only reward you can receive now is from your upkeep. To dig yourself out from beneath the maggot-infested dirt. To resurface and recover what you can. 

You’re unsure how long you sit here crying. Devastation sets hard in your tummy when you stand to leave the restaurant, ignoring the judgmental stares from the annoying, old fuckers that wouldn’t stop glaring at you. 

The air outside is fresh and soothing as you walk, right past your parked car. Past the young people mingling and taking pictures. Past the girl doing graffiti on the old building across the street. Something beats in your chest when you eye her spray paint cans, brushes in her hand, the bright colors all over her bare arms. Her passion is evident, even from a distance, and you miss that. That feeling that takes over when you create something that no one else can replicate. Her style is unique to her just like yours is to you. 

Color sparks in your soul for the first time in a year, and you know what you have to do tomorrow morning. 

taggiesss yasss n slayyyy @dyk3ang3l @ellieloml @inf3ct3dd @fromminaa @womenofarcane @sawaagyapong @mina-281 @aouiaa @bbglmfao @i00rii @sakiigami @starologist @southelroys @diddiqueen @trackinglessons @ellieswhorcrux @villainousbear @p4ison1vy @tohoko @yuckyfucky @dollyfleurs @elsbunny222 @sevsbimbo @amiorca @alittlextrahoney @gato-chino @topiatwin @r3wbeef @elliesatchel @muthafuckingstargirl

[cokoladasljesnjakom]

WHEN YOU’RE LOST IN THE DARKNESS

summary: the world went to hell. to say at least. a man lost his daguhter, the only person that kept him alive, and then? boom! all of the happines he had? thrown in the water. same happened for the two young girls. lost both of their parents to infection. what will happen when the man and two young girls meet the paths? will they kill eachother or somehow get closer? guess we'll find out.

joel miller x platonic! reader, ellie williams x older sister! reader

word count: 18k (im sorry)

warnings: outbreak!, zombies, heavy angst, major character deaths, PTSD, panic attacks,guns, knives, a lots of blood, gore, attempts of su!c!de, se*ual ab*se and attempts, tears, cann*ball, anxiety and lots of it.

a/n: first off i wanna say, that i made myself cry with this, let alone watching the gameplay AND the show itself. i had this on my mind lately and it irked me so much i had to get it off my chest. this is a series if you havent noticed! i put my soul and my heart into this. putting myself into their shoes and tbh? i felt it. anyway! enjoy reading.

masterlist

BOSTON, NEW YORK, AUGUST 2006.

Two years had passed since the outbreak, since the world as they knew it fell apart. That was the day everything changed. The day Anna made the decision that would alter the course of her life—she chose to keep her baby, Alex.

When Anna told others, their eyes turned cold with judgment. How could anyone even think of raising a child in such a world? Why would anyone bring a baby into the chaos that had engulfed the world? The whispers were relentless, but Anna never wavered.

Instead, those whispers only fueled her love for Alex. And when Alex was born, Anna’s heart swelled with a love she hadn’t known was possible, even in a world that had been reduced to dust. Despite the chaos, Alex was the one thing that kept Anna grounded, the one thing that made the world feel like it still had some light in it.

As Alex grew, she became aware of the sounds that filled their nights—loud, haunting screams that pierced the silence, the growls of infected just outside their door. And every day, she'd wake up to find her mother’s arms wrapped tightly around her, keeping her safe from the horrors outside.

But being a Firefly, especially with a child, was never easy for Anna. Even with her boyfriend Kyle by her side, she often felt like the only parent in the relationship. Kyle and Anna would argue almost every night before one of his missions. The fights weren’t always about big things, but the little things—the words, the harsh tones, the way they shouted at each other—it all cut deep. It hurt more than either of them could admit.

Before the outbreak, their relationship had been simple. Yeah, they had their disagreements, but they never felt like this. There was a tension now, a weight to every word they said, and it was taking its toll.

One evening, while Anna was putting Alex to bed, the shouting began again. Alex, clutching a small, worn-out toy in her tiny hands, heard the voices raised in anger. The sound of her parents’ fight made her chest tighten, and tears welled up in her wide eyes.

Anna’s heart broke as she saw Alex’s tears. She immediately knelt down in front of her, scooping her up into her arms, murmuring softly, “Shh, baby, it’s okay. Mommy’s here. You’re safe.”

Kyle froze, his eyes meeting Alex’s with a flash of guilt. He hadn’t realized how much his anger affected her, and the shock of seeing his little girl so scared hit him harder than he expected. Without another word, he grabbed his jacket, walked to the door, and slammed it behind him as he left the apartment. The loud bang of the door closing made Anna jump, and Alex flinched in her arms.

Anna looked down at her daughter, her heart aching as she saw Alex’s small hand reach up to gently touch her cheek. Despite the tears that still clung to Anna’s eyes, Alex smiled up at her, a small, innocent smile that broke Anna’s heart all over again.

“Mama no cry,” Alex whispered, her little hand brushing away Anna’s tears. “Make mama happy.”

Anna smiled through her tears, pressing a kiss to Alex’s forehead. “I’ll always be happy with you, baby,” she whispered, her voice barely audible as she held her close, the weight of the world pressing down on her shoulders but, for a moment, forgetting everything except the warmth of her daughter in her arms.

--

Three years later, not much had changed. Anna, Alex, and Kyle still lived together in the Boston QZ, in the same apartment Marlene—Anna’s childhood friend—had secured for them years ago. But this time, something was different.

Anna, now six months pregnant, waddled carefully toward the kitchen, one hand resting on her belly. Another baby. They didn’t know the gender, but it didn’t really matter. All that mattered was that the baby was healthy.

“Mama! Dada!” Alex’s little feet pattered against the floor as she ran toward them, gripping a squeaky toy in her small hands. Her face lit up with excitement as she waved it around. “Got new toy for baby! Now baby and me play when she come!”

Her toothy grin was infectious, and Anna and Kyle couldn’t help but exchange a glance before laughing together.

“Wow! That is so cool, baby!” Anna said, crouching down with a hand on her belly. She steadied herself by holding onto Kyle, then reached out to gently run her fingers through Alex’s hair.

Kyle noticed Anna struggling, so without hesitation, he scooped Alex up into his arms, settling her into his lap before helping Anna sit down beside him.

Alex giggled, wrapping her little arms around Kyle’s neck and planting a kiss on his cheek. “Love Dada so much!” she announced before turning to her mom with a bright smile, waving her hands excitedly. “And love Mama too!”

Anna’s heart swelled. She leaned in, kissing Alex’s forehead as Kyle held them both close.

For a moment, the outside world didn’t matter.

TWO MONTHS LATER -

Night had fallen, and with it came the same routine. Another mission. Another night where Kyle had to leave with the Fireflies. And another night where Anna had to stay behind, waiting.

"Why do you have to go?" Anna whispered, her arms tightening around him as if holding on hard enough could make him stay.

Kyle sighed, pressing a soft kiss to her lips before resting his forehead against hers. His hands cradled her face like she was the most fragile thing in the world. "You know I have to. It’s my turn to do the shit we volunteered for."

Tears welled in Anna’s eyes as she buried her face into the crook of his neck, breathing him in. Gunpowder, grime, and leather—his scent. The one thing that made her feel safe. The one thing that told her he was still here.

"But you don’t have to," she murmured, her voice barely above a breath. "There are others now. You don’t have to go." She pulled back just enough to look into his eyes, pleading. "I need you here. Alex needs you here. The baby needs you here. You can’t just go. What if something happens? What if the smugglers get you? What if—"

Kyle cut her off the only way he knew how. His lips crashed against hers, desperate and deep, like this was the last time he’d ever get to taste her. Because maybe it was.

He memorized the way she felt in his hands, the way her body fit against his. But even as he lost himself in her, his mind drifted—to Alex. To his little girl. God, he loved her so much it physically hurt. If he could rip his own heart out just to make sure she never had to cry, he would.

Tears streamed down his face as he pulled away, his hands still cupping Anna’s cheeks.

His voice was raw, shaky, but sure.

"I love you." His thumb brushed away a tear trailing down her skin. "I love you so much it makes my heart hurt. I love you so much it drives me crazy. To the point where I’d tear myself apart just to be near you."

A small, broken smile tugged at his lips. "I love you on your bad days. When you throw shit at me, when you scream at me over stupid things I did. I love you because you’re you. I love you because you’re the mother of our children. I love you."

looking at him with the purest pook she ever gave him, she broke down. sobbed so much it hurt her to breathe. her chest felt so heavy, it felt like her lungs were caving in on itself, and every breath she took, felt like it was last.

the fear of loosing him, coiled in her stomach making her feel sick everywhere. 'what if he hurts himself? what if he gets stuck alone and there is no one to save him?' the last thought on her mind, god, it hurt her to even think about that. she hated every second of it. she hated how they joined the fireflies in a hope that, maybe, one day, everything could go back to normal.

despite the pain in her chest and heart, a broken smile got on her face. kissing him softly, she said while caresssing his face. "you are such an asshole, you know that, right?" Kyle smiled teasingly, bringing her closer to him, while kissing the crown of her head, softly whispering. "well, you are dating this asshole. so tehnically, not my fault."

now looking at him seriously, Anna whispered out. "I love you. so much its making my head hurt just thinking about you. i love you when you have that deep frown on your face every time you think about something. i love you when youre trying to do something, youre doing it with a passion and not like youre forced to do that. i love you even though it makes my sides hurt and when I want to put myself next to your soul."

kissing him softly, she smiled, despite crying, again. "I love you when youre playing with Alex, making sure she gets all of the happines in this cruel world. i love you when im mad and youre still here, next to me, trying to make me forget about my problems. i love you for the way you are. i love you."

Kyle opened his mouth trying to say something, but then a little voice broke him out from his thoughts and he turned his head around to face the little voice. Anna saw his head turning away, so did hers. and when it did, they saw their little babygirl standing, with a blanket in her one hand and her toy in the other.

Alex’s voice now sad, and her eyes full of tears, seeing her parents crying, she cried too. "Mama? dada?" when she saw their heads turning and seeing the tears on her moms face, she runed towards her amd cried. "mama no cry. dada no cry."

kyle picked her up and wiping his tears, his voice now full of happines, because he was truly happy. his two best girls and the baby on the way, made him the richest man on the world. "hey lexie. how's my girl doing?" kyle asked trying to keep his voice calm and steady, but the crack in it made Anna cry silently. watching her little girl and the man that she loved made her heart full.

Alex’s hand wiped his tears and kissed him on the cheek, while doing the same to her mom. "me sad. mama and you crying. have bad dream." hearing her words, splitted their hearts apart, making them beat fast aganist their chests. when she had nightmares, both of them would curl up next to her and hold her like they wanted to protect her from everything in this world. Anna clearing her throat said, while wiping her tears away, ner hand now on Alex’s cheek. "oh, my little girl had a bad dream. you want kiss to make you feel better?"

Alex nod her head and both of them, Anna and Kyle, kissed Alex on her forehead, cheeks, nose, ears, neck and whenever they could do that. giggling, Alex said during the kissess she was reciving. "that tickles! no more kiss!"

both of them now grinning, Anna and Kyle kissed her once again, before Anna asked Alex, her voice quiet not to startle her. "what was the dream about, lexie?" Alex looked over her mom and her lips stared to tremble, before speaking. "monsters screaming. dada saved me and you kiss me on cheek. then i was happy."

locking eyes, Anna and Kyle looked at eachother and nod their heads, Kyle speakijg up first. "dada will always save you. i will be next to you whenever you want and i will always love you."

his hand slowly dragging over Anna’s now 8 months pregnant belly he noded down, pointing at her belly to Alex. "I will always protect you, your baby sister and your mama." kissing Alex slowly on forehead, his voice cracked before speaking up again. "Im always going to be right here." he pointed to her heart.

Anna cried softly, before speaking up after Kyle. "mama is going to be here, too. im always going to be here. to kiss your boo boo's away. to make you feel better. to make you feel the happiest in the world." caressing her cheek, Anna spoke again. "you, your baby sister that im sure it is now, and your dada, are the most important people in the world. i will always love you."

in their little moment, everything felt like it stopped. the time. the cruelness in this world. it felt like just four of them exsisted. Anna, Kyle, Alex and her little baby sister.

before Anna could say something more, a knock on the doors stopped her. the doors opening, it revealed Marlene. Kyle looked over his shoulder and his stomach dropped. he felt sick and so scared. leaving his family was the worst thing he could ever do. he didnt wanted to be on that mission. he wanted to be here, with his little family. god, if there was a chance to change the situation he was in now, he would do it without missing a beat.

Marlene watched the scene unfolding in front of her, and it made her heart feel heavy. watching her best friend and her boyfriend with a daguhter in his hands, with a upcoming baby, it made feel like she was the bad guy in here.

clearing her voice, Marlene called out, her hand gripping the door handle. "its time." and with that she closed the doors and walked out.

Anna, now looking at Kyle, her eyes full of tears, shaked her head no at Kyle, trying to make him stay. "no, please. dont go. Kyle dont go." and Kyle watched her in silence, his tears now sliding down his face. "Im sorry. Im so sorry."

Alex watched her parents cry and it made her cry too. "dada, dont go. stay." even being a kid, Alex was smarter than anybody ever could be. kissing Alex on the crown of her head, sniffing her scent in, trying to memorize the feeling of having her in his arms and then finally kissing Anna, like its the last kiss hes ever going to have feel. he leaned his forehead on hers, sobbing, and said his voice shaking, saying the words so quietly so that only she could hear them. "I love you. so much. i love you guys so much."

turning his head around to face Alex, he whispered out to her. "daddy loves you too. so much." and then finnaly he dropped Alex down on the ground, before he himself dropped on his knees, his forehead pressing aganist Anna’s belly, pressing a kiss on it, before softly whispering. "I love you kiddo. so much. be careful with mommy."

getting up from the ground, he once again pressed his lips on Anna’s, like he was saying goodbye. kissing Alex once again too, he whispered out to her. "I love you 3000." before picking his stuff from the floor and with one last glance he called out. "wait for me." and then he got out.

watching him leave, Anna felt something inside her shatter. her vision blurred, her breath hitched, and without thinking, her knees buckled. she collapsed, slowly sinking to the floor.

Alex, noticing her mother’s distress, didn’t hesitate. she ran toward Anna, throwing her small arms around her in a tight embrace. “Dada come back. Don’t worry.”

she said those last two words with such certainty, like they were a fact, like there was no other outcome. and that only made it harder.

because hope—God, hope had killed more people than Anna could count. hope was dangerous. it made people believe there was something better waiting for them. it made them believe they could survive just a little longer, just until things got better. But things never did.

still, Anna pressed a soft kiss to Alex’s face, her voice gentle, careful, as if she was trying not to break a promise. “yes, baby. daddy’s going to come back. and then it’ll be just me, you, your sister, and dada. just like before.”

and for the first time in a long time, she let herself believe it. because maybe, just maybe, he really would come back.

THREE HOURS LATER -

it was a late night, something between 3am. stars covered the clear sky, making the moon shine. Kyle had his riffle on his shoulders and a gun in his hands, just in a case. walking on a rooftop, where it was hard to be noticed, he thought about them.

his chest hurting and his breathing shallow, the photo in his fingers made him calm. him, Anna with a 4 month baby bump and Alex in his hands. the pogotovo was taken not long ago, when Anna found out that she was pregnant.

he remebers that day so clearly, like it was yesterday. the shock on his face when she told him the news and when he hugged her so thightly, Alex came in a view. her big doe eyes, stared at them in confusion, asking her dad, her head tiltling. "why dada hug mama?"

looking away from Anna, Kyle crouched down to face Alex, took her in his arms and spun her around, while yelling with a big smile on his face. "mama's pregnant!" and Alex, now giggling, when her dad spun her around, her little eyes were so wide, that it looked like they were going to pop out. "YAY! ME HAVING A BABY SISTER!" while yelling with her dad, both of them having big smiles on their faces.

Anna watched them, her hands on her belly, with a big smile on her face. she felt like the luckiest girl in the world, even though everything fell apart. the chance of being happy in this time, made her feel like she was the richest person ever. having a boyfriend, who actually loves her, no matter what argument they had, he always looked at her with so much love.

"why are you so sure its a girl?" Anna asked Kyle, burrying her nose in his neck, while he bringed her closer to him, kissing her hairline softly. "I just do. its like i have this tingle everytime i touch your stomach. its like shes responding to me, look." putting his and Alex’s hand on Anna’s stomach, he gently caressed it, before he felt a slight kick on his side. Alex now grinning when she felt the baby kicking too, whispered like she was not trying to scare off the baby.

"baby kicked mama. baby loves Alex and me loves baby sooo much." she said, her eyes twinkling, and Anna could feel a bonding moment between her and the baby. its like she knew, that one day, Alex will protect her sibling no matter what.

Anna had laughed, her eyes shining with unshed tears as she watched them. Kyle closed his eyes at the memory, pressing his lips into a tight line.

his chest ached. his throat burned. God, he missed them.

kissing the photo softly, and putting it back in his pocket, the tears in his eyes stinged so much it hurt him. his throat closed up making it hurt to breathe or to say something. because he knew, that if he said something, he could break right here.

too lost in his thoughts, his walkie-talkie ringed back to the life. a male voice called out. "kyle? come in kyle, over." quickly takjng his walkie out from his vest, kyle whispered out, his voice slightly shaken up.

"Im here. whats up?" his hands shook slightly, while gripping the walkie-talkie in his hands.

"Jason said that someone has to go to check the mall, to clear out the area." the voice called out. the words hit Kyle like a punch to the gut. "didn’t we lock down the mall for a reason?" he muttered, glancing up at the empty streets. "the place is crawling with infected."

the voice sighed and Kyle swore that he could hear the annoyance behind the voice. "I dont know man, ask Jason. he gave the orders not me." the voice paused for a second, then called out again. "and the last time we checked, the mall was empty. not a single soul was in there, so youre safe."

Kyle’s chest tightened, his heartbeat thudding in his ears. his breath, once steady, now felt too fast, too shallow. the thought of facing the infected again—the thought of dying and leaving Anna and Alex—sent a sickening churn through his gut.

he didn’t fear death itself. he’d always known it was coming. but leaving them alone... that was a thought he couldn’t shake. it made him feel weak, vulnerable.

with a deep breath, he forced himself to focus, his grip tightening on the walkie-talkie. "roger that. I’ll check it out." but as he took another step toward the mission ahead, the image of Anna and Alex lingered in his mind, a haunting reminder of what he had to lose.

--

after a few minutes of walking, Kyle found himself standing in front of the mall. he remembered this place—once bright, alive, filled with people carrying shopping bags, laughter echoing through the halls. friends chatting, families smiling, voices blending together in a hum of normalcy.

now, it was nothing but a hollow shell, its walls crumbling, its windows shattered, the silence pressing down on him like a weight.

he let out a slow breath, adjusting his grip on his rifle. his other hand held a flashlight, the beam flickering as he stepped forward. careful, quiet. the entrance loomed before him, sealed off for a reason, but orders were orders.

the doors creaked as he slipped inside, darkness swallowing him whole. dust clung to the air, and each step felt heavier than the last. he knew where he had to go—the electrical room. if he could get the lights on, he’d be able to see what he was dealing with.

navigating the ruined corridors, Kyle reached the door to the electrical room and eased it open. or at least, he tried to.

the second he let go, the universe decided to turn against him. the door slammed shut behind him with a deafening thud.

his breath caught, his heart hammering in his chest. his grip on the rifle tightened as he froze, listening. nothing. just the sound of his own pulse in his ears. he cursed under his breath, shaking his head before turning to the breaker panel.

his fingers traced over the worn-out wires, his eyes scanning for the right one. a second later, he found it. exhaling softly, he applied pressure to the loose connection, then reached for the switch.

with a flick of his wrist, he pulled the handle down.

the mall flickered back to life. lights buzzed overhead, casting long, eerie shadows across the broken floors. the silence that once suffocated him was now replaced with a low hum, the kind that made his skin crawl.

his eyes flickered to the empty storefronts, once bursting with life—shoppers darting in and out, their hands full of bags, their voices blending into a constant hum of conversation. now, the windows were shattered, dust-covered mannequins stood frozen in time, and discarded clothes lay strewn across the floor, faded and torn.

then, his gaze landed on the arcade.

for a moment, he swore he could hear it—the distant echoes of game machines beeping, the laughter of kids as they raced from one game to another, the rhythmic clatter of tokens falling into slots. his lips twitched into a faint smile.

this place—it was where he met her.

eighteen years old, desperate for an escape, he had found solace in arcades. the flashing lights, the familiar weight of a joystick in his hands—it was the only way to quiet his mind. that day, he'd been focused on setting a new high score when he noticed her.

she stood by the claw machine, blonde hair tied back in a loose ponytail, a few strands escaping to frame her face. despite the neon glow of the arcade, her eyes were the brightest thing in the room. and that smile—god, that smile—lit up everything around her. her freckles stood out in the dim light, scattered like constellations across her cheeks.

he remembered how she had huffed in frustration when the claw dropped the stuffed animal too soon, hands planted on her hips in defiance. he had laughed, unable to stop himself, and she had turned, eyes locking onto his.

"what?" she had asked, brows raised, though there was a teasing lilt in her voice.

"nothing," he had shrugged, stepping closer. "just thinking I could probably win that for you."

she had smirked, arms crossed. "oh yeah? big talk for a guy who’s probably never played this thing."

that was the start of everything.

standing there now, in the ruins of what once was, Kyle swallowed hard. the memory felt like a punch to the gut. he could almost see her—eighteen again, laughing, rolling her eyes at him.

Kyle stepped into the arcade, the faint neon glow still flickering against the walls, casting eerie shadows across the dust-covered machines. the air was thick with silence, but if he closed his eyes, he could almost hear the echoes of laughter, the chorus of game soundtracks blending together, the rhythmic clatter of buttons being mashed in excitement.

his gaze landed on a claw machine near the back.

a stuffed elephant sat among the pile of toys, its fabric faded but still intact. his heart clenched at the sight of it.

it was just like the one he had won for Anna on her birthday. he remembered how she had clutched it to her chest that night, smiling so wide it made his entire world feel lighter.

swallowing down the ache in his throat, Kyle started searching the room for coins. he moved cautiously, sifting through the dust and debris until his fingers brushed against something cool and round. a grin tugged at his lips as he picked up the scattered coins, dropping them into a small plastic bowl he had found along the way.

making his way back to the claw machine, he took a deep breath and slid a coin into the slot. the machine hummed back to life, its colorful lights blinking as if waking from a long slumber.

Kyle cracked his knuckles and placed his hand on the joystick, maneuvering the claw toward the elephant. he pressed the button, and the claw descended, gripping the toy by its ear—only for it to slip through and drop back into the pile.

"are you kidding me?" he muttered, brows furrowing.

determined, he tried again. and again. each time, the claw teased him, lifting the elephant just high enough to give him hope before letting it go.

frustration bubbling in his chest, he exhaled sharply, shaking out his hands. "alright, one more time."

he lined up the claw, eyes locked on the prize, and pressed the button with full force. the claw lowered, latched onto the elephant’s ear again, and— It held.

Kyle barely breathed as the claw inched toward the drop chute. his hands clenched into fists, his heart pounding as he silently begged the universe not to screw him over this time.

and then— the elephant tumbled into the prize slot. Kyle let out a breathless laugh, fist pumping the air in triumph. "hell yeah!"

reaching into the machine, he gently pulled out the stuffed toy, brushing off the dust before carefully tucking it into his backpack.

just the thought of bringing it home to Anna and Alex made his chest feel lighter, even in a world that had long since forgotten what joy felt like.

for them, he would always find a reason to smile.

walking out of the arcade, Kyle adjusted his rifle and flashlight, moving quickly but quietly, trying not to draw attention. the silence was suffocating, broken only by his own breath and the faint crunch of debris under his boots. his heart pounded hard in his chest, making it difficult to focus.

he checked another store, sweeping his flashlight across the dark corners. empty.

another sigh left his lips as he stepped out, gripping the walkie-talkie from his vest and pressing the side button.

“Aaron? come in. over.”

static crackled before a familiar voice responded. “Aaron here. you clear the mall? over.”

Kyle ran a hand down his face. He was exhausted. “yeah. nothing. place is dead.”

“copy that,” Aaron replied. “head back. Marlene’s gonna lose her shit if she sees you’re not in your spot.”

Kyle stopped mid-step, brows furrowing.

“…what do you mean ‘if she sees’?” his grip on the walkie tightened. “you didn’t tell her I was sent into a sealed-off building? alone? ith fucking infected crawling around?”

Aaron sighed. “look, man, not my call. Jason said it had to be done. I just passed it along.”

Kyle let out a humorless laugh. “had to be done?” his voice rose. “Aaron, are you fucking serious?”

his knuckles whitened around the walkie. “for fuck’s sake—I have two girls waiting for me. a baby on the way. and Jason just threw me into this shit without telling Marlene?”

a beat of silence. then Aaron muttered, “I didn’t have a choice. you know how bitchy Jason gets. you don’t do what he says, and suddenly you’re pulling double shifts.”

Kyle exhaled sharply, rubbing his temples. “I don’t give a shit about him. he knows I have people waiting for me. and he didn’t even clear this with Marlene?”

Aaron groaned. “Kyle, I know. but don’t put this on me, man. I’m just doing my job. not like I’m getting paid enough for this shit anyway—”

Kyle barely listened as Aaron kept talking. his focus shifted to the exit, quickening his pace, eager to be done with this place. he didn’t notice when the picture and knife slipped from his pocket, hitting the floor with a soft clink.

the noise sent his heart hammering against his ribs. he spun around, scanning the darkness, only to realize what had fallen. “…shit.”

rushing over, he snatched them up, stuffing the picture into his vest for safekeeping. he wasn’t risking that again.

Shaking off the nerves, Kyle adjusted his pack and strode toward the doors, Aaron still rambling in his ear. gripping the handle, he pushed— nothing.

Kyle frowned. tried again. the door didn’t budge. his stomach twisted. “you have to be kidding me.” cursing under his breath, he yanked his backpack off, rummaging through it for supplies. the next few minutes were a blur of failed attempts—pulling, prying, shoving. his patience wore thin.

then, with a sudden snap, the handle broke clean off. Kyle stared at it in his hand, then at the door. then—

“mother fucker!” his voice echoed through the empty mall.

frustrated beyond belief, he made a decision. fuck it. If the door wouldn’t open, he’d make it open. bracing himself, he threw his weight against the door. hard.

BANG.

Again.

BANG.

the noise was too loud, way too loud, but he didn’t care. he was so close. just one more— CRASH.

the doors burst open, slamming onto the ground with a deafening clang.

Kyle barely had time to grab his bag before— a scream. blood-curdling. echoing from deep inside the mall. his blood ran cold. every muscle in his body tensed. slowly, he turned his head.

eyes. empty, dead, and locked onto him.

one infected. emerging from the shadows, crawling over debris, snarling, its hunger razor-sharp. Kyle’s breath hitched. then they ran. and so did he.

his walkie-talkie clattered to the floor, forgotten.

--

pacing the room, Marlene glanced at the map, then the clock on the wall. 5 AM. still no sign of Kyle. no Aaron bursting through her door with a stupid grin, cracking some half-assed joke to break the tension.

something was wrong. with a frustrated sigh, she pushed up from her chair and stormed out of her office, boots thudding against the floor. her mind raced. what if something went wrong? what if they’re stuck? what if— she clenched her jaw, forcing the thoughts down. she needed answers.

reaching Jason’s office, she knocked— three sharp raps. a voice called from inside. "come in." taking a breath, she pushed the door open and stepped in, shutting it firmly behind her. Jason was at his desk, flipping through a file, barely sparing her a glance. too casual. too at ease.

"what's up?" he muttered, eyes scanning the papers like she wasn’t standing there, burning holes into his skull. Marlene folded her arms, stance rigid. her voice came out sharp. demanding. "where are they?"

Jason didn't react. didn’t even blink.

"it’s five fucking in the morning, and they’re not here. What did you do?"

Jason laughed. a quiet, dismissive chuckle, shaking his head. he still wouldn’t meet her gaze. "I don’t know what you’re talking about."

wrong answer. Marlene saw red. she was done. done with his smirking, his arrogance, his bullshit. in a flash, she moved—circling the desk, grabbing his collar, yanking him up from his chair.

Jason staggered, hands gripping her wrists, but she didn’t let go.

Marlene sneered, her voice dropping to a dangerous whisper. "don’t bullshit me, Jason." she tightened her grip. "tell me where Kyle and Aaron are. now."

Jason’s breath hitched. he grabbed at her wrist, struggling, trying to pry her off, but she held firm. he gasped, his hands dropping limply to his sides as the oxygen left him. his eyes darted wildly, fear creeping into them. finally, in a ragged, desperate breath, he choked out, "okay, okay—I’ll tell you, just please—"

then— BANG. the door slammed open, rattling the walls. Marlene’s head snapped toward the entrance as Aaron stumbled in, panting, chest heaving.

"Marlene..." his voice was raw, urgent. his hands trembled as he tried to catch his breath. "Kyle—he’s in trouble."

for a split second, everything stopped.

Marlene’s grip slackened, and Jason collapsed back against the desk, coughing violently. but she didn’t look at him. she was already moving. her boots pounded against the floor as she rushed to her office, ripping open drawers, grabbing weapons, supplies—anything she could carry. Her mind screamed at her. this is your fault. you shouldn’t have let him go. you should have stopped him.

Marlene shoved a pistol into its holster, slung a rifle over her back. her hands were shaking. she swallowed the fear, turned to Aaron, and barked, "get what you need and come with me." her voice wavered. she didn’t have time to pray.

but still, under her breath, she whispered, "please. just let him make it."

--

breathing heavily, he clutched his side of ribs, trying to stop the bleeding. the blood gushed through his hands, the color now grimson red. cursing he looked down at the huge cut and hissed. "fuck... this shit really hurts huh?" kyle spoke up between the quick breaths looking at the infected, now dead, talking to himself.

scoffing and turning his head around, the sight making him gag. the sight of blood always made him like this, and yes he knows its stupid. six years into the apocalypse he saw a lots of blood and the stuff anyone was supposed to see.

sighing he thought about the times when the only problem in his life was how to get a girlfriend without making a fool out of himself. the time when he got to see his mom's homemade meals and the times when he argued with his dad over stupid things. the time when he met her. the love of his life. when he first told her that he liked her and the time he got the chance to kiss her. the time when he told her that he loved her. god, just thinking about that made him smile like a highschooler.

over years he thought about one thing. spending the rest of his life with her. growing old with her, their children next to them while their grandchidren ran around the yard, screaming and playing together. and yet he didnt got the chance to ask her the only one thing he always wanted to. to marry him.

every day he saved his money, hoping that maybe one day, he would have the balls to ask her that. and every time he had the chance, he chickened out. what if she doesnt wants to spend her life with me? what if she doesnt loves me anymore? what if im not good enough for her? those thoughts were driving him crazy. made him wanting to rip his own heart out and yell out how much he loved her. how much he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her.

and the time when he actually got the courrage to ask her that question, the world went to hell. he remebers the day so clearly, like it was yesterday. the time when she called him, her breath stuck in her throat, sobbing violently and begging him to come and save her. "kyle- something is happening, something bad. people here are screaming and-." static. the line cut off. so he ran. he ran like his life depended on her. thats because it was. he couldn’t do this alone. not without her.

the ring in the box, hidden from her for months was laying down on the ground, forgotten in a rush. to this day, hes always cursing himself for forgeting the ring. if he only had the chance to go back to time and ask her sooner, he would do it all over again.

too bussy reminding himself of his past, the veins on his side grew. bit by bit, his whole side was covered in spores. right. the bite. he knew what was coming. and he wasnt running away from it. for the first time in his life, kyle accepted his fate.

crying softly taking the picture out from his vest, he smiled at it. bringing the picture closer to his lips, he kissed the picture, imagining his little family. his Anna, his Alex and his his unborn baby. it hurt knowing that he wont be there to watch his baby girls grow up. to watch the love of his life spending her life alone. without him. "I love you guys so fucking much." he whispered to the photo, as if they were here, next to him.

he imagined the way that Anna would wrap his side trying to make the blood stop from seeping away. the way that Alex would prepper the kissess on his face, blabering about anything to make her dada feel better. the way that his hand wouldnt leave Anna’s pregnant belly, feeling the little kicks on his hand.

the pain on his side was nothing compared to the pain in his chest. the hoolow ache making his breath heavy, his heart pounding in such a cruel way. to remind him that it was over.

hearing the faint sound of footsteps, Kyle’s hand instinctively reached for the gun at his side, his fingers tightening around the grip, preparing to defend himself. but the voice that broke the silence made him exhale sharply.

"you don’t have to shoot. It’s just us. just me and Aaron." Kyle’s shoulders slumped, exhaustion weighing him down as he lowered the gun, grunting in pain.

“could’ve said that earlier,” he muttered through gritted teeth, his head tilting back against the wall. the world felt distant as the room seemed to tilt. blood pooled around him, and for a moment, he forgot where he was. the pain was nothing compared to what was coming.

Marlene’s voice broke through the fog of his thoughts. "what happened? Why are you here? how did you get in here? Kyle—"

he raised a hand, cutting her off. "stop," Kyle rasped, his voice barely above a whisper. "you know what happened. you know how it went down. it just… happened." he stared at the ceiling, his voice quiet. "i tried to stop it… but my mind kept drifting to them. to her. to them… and I couldn’t… I just couldn’t fight it."

Marlene’s eyes filled with tears as she took a step closer, her face pale in shock and disbelief. “Kyle, please… we can stop the bleeding, I can help you, I just need—"

Kyle’s laugh was bitter, the sound rasping in his throat. "help me? Marlene, you and I both know what’s coming. there’s no helping this. I’m gonna turn. I’m gonna be one of them. and there’s nothing anyone can do about it." his voice cracked, the tears slipping down his face as he struggled to hold it together.

"please," he whispered, his words pained and desperate. "please, just—" but Marlene wouldn’t let him finish. she cut him off, her voice shaking. “don’t you dare say that. don’t you dare ask me to—” Kyle’s eyes snapped to hers, his voice cracking with emotion. "you think I don’t want to go back to them? you think I don’t want to hear their voices again? feel her touch? hold them just one more time?"

he was shaking now, his chest rising and falling rapidly as the emotion spilled out. "God, Marlene, I would do anything to go back. anything. but I can’t. it’s too late. it’s too far gone." tears mixed with the blood on his face as he reached for her. "please," he begged, his voice hoarse. "i need you to do it. i need you to kill me before I turn. you promised—" he choked on his words, barely able to speak. "you promised you’d protect them if something happened to me."

Marlene recoiled, horrified by the request. “i can’t… i can’t do that. i can’t end your life. not like this. not like you’re asking me to.”

Kyle’s hand fell weakly to his chest, his breath shallow. "Marlene, please." his voice was barely a whisper. "you promised."

Marlene hesitated once again, her hands shaking and her mind racing. the thought of killing her best friends boyfriend made her sick. "what about her? what do I tell her? what do I tell to a three year old, whos asking for her dad, waiting to come back?"

she choked up on her words, she wanted to take them back, she wanted to change everything. "what do I tell to Anna? do I tell her that i killed you? do I tell her I killed you juat because you wanted that? huh?"

kyle sighed out, a slight smile on his face just thinking about them. "you tell them i love all three of them so much. you tell my Anna i wished that if the things were diffrend, that i would make her mine forever. that i would marry her with no hesitation."

tears were framing his face now. the breaths he took were fast and ragged. "you tell my Alex that daddy loves her so much. that she is going to be my baby forever. you tell her I love her 3000."

even through his tears, talking about his family made him happy. it always did. but then he remembered the baby.

“you tell our baby I’m sorry,” Kyle whispered, his voice breaking. “for leaving. for not being there. for making her grow up without me.” his fingers trembled as he clutched the photo tighter, pressing it against his lips. “tell Anna to name her Ellie. our little Ellie.”

with a grunt, he reached for his backpack, fumbling through the blood-soaked fabric. his breath hitched as he pulled out two things: a small stuffed elephant and a knife. “you give these to them.” he held up the elephant first, his voice shaking. “Alex gets this. she loves elephants.” then he looked at the knife. “and this… this is for Anna.”

Marlene watched, frozen in place, as Kyle kissed the picture one last time before carefully stuffing it inside the elephant’s worn fabric. his bloody fingerprints stained the toy as he pressed it to his chest, his body wracked with sobs.

“tell them I’m sorry,” he choked out. “for everything. for not listening to Anna. for not being there when it mattered.” his breath came faster now, his body trembling violently. “Marlene.” he met her eyes, desperate. “do it. now. please. this is the last thing I’ll ever ask of you.”

she shook her head, her grip tightening on the gun at her side. “I can’t.” Kyle let out a broken, guttural sob. “please! Ppease, Marlene! kill me before I—” his words cut off in a strangled cry as his body jerked, muscles seizing, his eyes wild and unfocused.

then, he moved. It happened fast—too fast.

“DO IT!” he screamed as he lunged toward her.

the shot rang out before she could think.

a body hit the floor. silence.

Marlene stood there, her breath ragged, her hands shaking so hard the gun nearly slipped from her grip. the room was suffocatingly still, except for the quiet, broken sobs that fell from her lips.

she had done it. she had killed her best friend’s love. she had killed Alex’s father. she had killed Ellie’s father.

and now, she had to tell them why.

--

Anna paced the room, her arms wrapped around herself, her breath uneven. the lump in her throat made it hard to swallow, the tightness in her chest making every breath feel shallow. worry gnawed at her, twisting in her gut like a knife.

she stopped abruptly, pressing a hand to her stomach as sharp kicks jabbed at her side. the baby was restless—just like her. A soft smile tugged at her lips despite the anxiety weighing her down.

"hey, you," she murmured, running her fingers in slow circles over her belly. "you feeling okay in there?" another kick. a stronger one. Anna chuckled, blinking away the sting in her eyes. "sorry for making you upset. I'm just worried about your dad."

as if in response, the baby kicked again.

"you love your dad, huh?" another kick. "okay, okay, I get it. you love him more than me."

the small moment of warmth settled over her like a fragile blanket, but it didn't last. her eyes drifted to the bed where Alex lay curled up, wrapped in a thick blanket, her tiny fingers gripping the teddy bear Kyle had found for her. that bear was her lifeline—but not as much as her father was. Alex adored Kyle, always trailing after him, laughing at his silly jokes, teaming up with him to tease Anna.

Anna smiled, brushing a few strands of hair from Alex’s peaceful face before pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. her heart ached with memories. she remembered the first time she told Kyle she was pregnant with Alex—how terrified she’d been, how she had braced herself for disappointment or fear in his eyes.

but his reaction had been nothing like she expected.

she could still see it so clearly—his wide-eyed shock melting into the biggest grin she had ever seen. and then, before she could even say another word, he had grabbed her, kissed her breathless, and spun her around like an idiot.

"I'm gonna be a dad!" he had shouted to anyone who would listen. "do you hear that? I'm gonna be a dad!" she had laughed, embarrassed, but his excitement was infectious. that whole day, he wouldn’t shut up about it, telling everyone in the QZ, beaming like he had won the lottery.

but she also remembered the looks they got—pitying glances, quiet murmurs. a baby in this world? what were they thinking?

and honestly, she had wondered the same thing. when he caught her growing quiet, he had cupped her face in his hands, pressing gentle kisses across her cheeks, her forehead, her lips.

"ignore them," he had whispered. "fuck 'em all. this? what you're carrying? it's a goddamn miracle." he had kissed her again, softer this time, and rested his forehead against hers. "and I love you for it. I love us."

now, sitting beside Alex in the dimly lit room, she wished she could hold onto that moment forever. but the ache in her chest reminded her of reality. Kyle wasn’t here. and the waiting was killing her.

Too lost in her thoughts, Anna barely noticed the soft murmur that came from Alex. "Dada... miss Dada." Her heart clenched. The ache in her chest sharpened, spreading to her sides. Just hearing those words made her mind spiral. She tried to steady her breathing, to push down the storm building inside her, but it was useless.

Leaning down, she pressed a soft kiss to Alex’s forehead, whispering into her ear. "Love you so much. I’ll be back."

She slipped off the bed carefully, making sure not to wake her, then moved to the door. Her fingers trembled as she turned the key, locking it behind her.

With each step down the dimly lit hallway, her breathing quickened. She ran through everything she wanted to say, everything she needed to ask—but no words felt right. By the time she reached the other side of the building, she wasn’t even thinking anymore. Just moving.

Anna stopped in front of Marlene’s office and knocked—three times, sharp and deliberate. Silence. Her pulse pounded in her ears. She tried again, rattling the doorknob harder this time. "Marlene."

Nothing. Her chest tightened. Panic crept up her throat. She slammed her fist against the door, her voice breaking. "Open the goddamn door, Marlene. Just—please, open it."

The silence stretched, thick and suffocating. Anna’s breath hitched as she pressed her forehead against the door.

"Marlene." Her voice wavered now, quieter, but no less desperate. Still no answer.

Her hand curled into a fist, nails digging into her palm. She tried to breathe through the anger, through the grief clawing at her throat. But it was useless. With a sharp inhale, she stepped back and slammed her fist against the door again.

"If you don’t open this fucking door, I swear to God—" The lock clicked. The door cracked open just enough for Anna to see a sliver of Marlene’s face. Tired. Hollow. Eyes heavy with something Anna couldn’t place—regret? Guilt?

Anna’s breath hitched as she met Marlene’s eyes, stepping inside and shutting the door behind her. Marlene didn’t turn, her gaze locked on the window, hands trembling at her sides. That didn’t go unnoticed.

"Hey," Anna murmured, stepping closer. "You seem shaken up. What’s wrong?"

When Marlene didn’t answer, Anna pulled her into a hug, her limbs aching with every movement. The second their bodies touched, she felt it—Marlene was stiff, barely holding herself together.

Something was wrong. Anna pulled away, searching her face. "Hey, hey, what’s going on? Did something happen to you? Are you okay?" Marlene’s breath hitched—and then she crumbled.

Her shoulders shook as she broke down in front of Anna, sobs tearing through her. Anna froze, her heart slamming against her ribs. Something happened.

Her mind raced, possibilities running too fast to catch, but one name lodged itself in her throat. "Did—did something happen to anyone? To Kyle?"

Marlene flinched. And then she sobbed harder. The floor beneath Anna may as well have shattered. A sharp gasp escaped her as her vision blurred. No. No, that wasn’t right. Kyle was fine. He was safe. He was coming home. Just like he promised.

"Kyle’s coming home, right?" Anna whispered, desperation clawing at her throat. "He’s on his way to me, to Alex. Right, Marlene?" Marlene shut her eyes, her entire body trembling. "I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry."

The world cracked open. Anna’s breath turned ragged, her chest caving in on itself. "No—no, you’re lying. You’re fucking lying." She stumbled back, gripping her hair with one hand, the other clutching her belly. The kicks against her ribs sharpened, a cruel reminder of reality.

But she refused to believe it. "Kyle—he’s coming back to me," she choked out, shaking her head violently. "He’s alive."

Her voice wavered, but her anger did not.

Something inside her snapped. "STOP FUCKING LYING!" The scream tore through her, raw and broken. "HE’S COMING HOME TO ME! DON’T YOU DARE LIE TO ME!"

Then the punching began. Her fists slammed into Marlene’s face, her sides—anywhere she could reach. She wasn’t holding back. She couldn’t. The pain was unbearable, and this was the only way to let it out.

Marlene caught her wrists, pinning them to her sides. Their foreheads pressed together, hot tears mixing between them.

"He’s not coming home," Marlene whispered, her voice cracking. "And I am so, so sorry." Anna’s body trembled, her head shaking weakly. "No," she sobbed, fresh tears spilling down her face.

With every tear that hit the floor, she felt herself breaking further.

Her insides ached, but nothing compared to the agony in her chest. God, her heart.

It felt like someone had taken a knife to it and twisted, over and over again. The baby kicked, grounding her, but all it did was remind her—Kyle was gone. Alex and the baby would grow up without him.

Without their rock. Without the man who made them feel safe.

And she—she would have to live without the love of her life. The man who showed her what love was. How it could make her the happiest in the world and, at the same time, completely destroy her. She sobbed, the sound ripped from her soul.

Marlene slowly pulled away, her face twisted with sorrow as she reached into her bag.

Anna barely registered her movements until something soft and cold was pressed into her hands. She looked down. A bloodied stuffed elephant. A knife. Her breath hitched. Her fingers trembled as she lifted the elephant to her chest, clutching it like a lifeline. The knife—God, the knife—her lips pressed to the blood-stained handle, where his hands had once been.

He was still here. Just for a moment, she could still feel him. But it wasn’t enough. It would never be enough.

“He told me to give you the knife and the elephant to Alex.” Marlene’s voice wavered, thick with grief. “There’s also a photo inside the elephant.”

Anna barely registered the words. Her fingers tightened around the stuffed toy and the blade, both stained with his blood. They still felt warm, like he had just been holding them.

Marlene took a shaky breath and stepped closer, cupping Anna’s face in her trembling hands. “He said he loves you,” she whispered. “He loves Alex, too. And… he said to name the baby Ellie.”

Anna let out a laugh—sharp, broken, and soaked in tears. It bubbled up from somewhere deep, somewhere raw. “That idiot,” she choked out. “That absolute fucking idiot.” Her voice cracked, betraying the ache in her chest.

She flipped the elephant over, hands unsteady, and pulled out the photo. And god—god, it hurt. Kyle’s face stared back at her, frozen in time. His wide, stupid smile, his face smudged with dirt, his hair a mess. Alex was in his arms, grinning just as big, her tiny hands clutching his jacket. His other hand rested on Anna’s belly.

A life that was theirs. A life that was supposed to be theirs.

Anna’s breath hitched as she pressed the photo to her lips, squeezing her eyes shut, as if holding it close enough could bring him back.

Anna’s breath caught as she pressed the photo to her lips, squeezing her eyes shut as if holding it close enough could somehow bring him back. “I love you so much,” she whispered, her voice trembling. “I promise, I’ll keep an eye on them, no matter what.”

A shaky smile tugged at her lips, though the tears kept falling. She could barely speak through the sobs. “And I promise... you’ll be the only man I ever love, for as long as I live.”

14 YEARS LATER -

"Ellie, for the love of God, stop! You're going to break your arms off," Alex muttered, her voice a mix of frustration and disbelief. She was sitting cross-legged on the dusty floor, surrounded by piles of debris, while Ellie—being Ellie—was still trying to force her way out of the handcuffs with all the determination of a bull.

"No," Ellie snapped, her short response enough to explain everything. The 14-year-old tugged again, her brow furrowed in concentration as she yanked on the cuffs, refusing to give up.

Alex rolled her eyes, slumping against the wall with a resigned sigh. She closed her eyes for a moment, her mind drifting back to three weeks ago. Back when their life—at least the little bit of peace they'd managed to find—felt somewhat stable.

She could still picture it clearly: the cramped room they had shared, the excitement in Ellie’s eyes when they'd gotten the new bunk bed. It wasn’t just about the bed—it was a piece of normalcy they hadn’t had in years. Ellie had jumped at the chance to sleep on top, her laughter echoing through the small room as she declared victory in their little sibling battle.

"Top bunk’s mine," Ellie had grinned, practically bouncing as she climbed to the top.

Alex had tried to argue, of course. She was the older one. "No, I’m the oldest! I get the top bunk."

Ellie had looked at her, giving that defiant grin that Alex knew all too well. "Doesn’t matter. I’m going up there. You can deal with it."

And so, Alex had huffed, crossing her arms in mock frustration, even though a small part of her had been relieved. At least she wouldn’t have to deal with Monica’s snoring anymore. That alone made the bottom bunk more bearable. But now... now those simple moments seemed so far away. The bunk bed, Ellie’s defiant grin, the moments of peace—it felt like a lifetime ago.

Ellie was still tugging at the cuffs, but this time Alex just watched her for a second longer, a faint smile tugging at the corner of her lips. She remembered what it felt like to fight over something so small, something so... normal.

"You're impossible," Alex muttered, not with real anger but with that familiar affection. "You know that, right?"

Ellie shot her a quick glance, grinning despite the situation. "Yeah, I know. But you love me anyway."

And for a brief moment, Alex did love her. Maybe a little more than she had before. Because, despite everything—despite the madness and the loss—they were still here. They were still fighting. And that, for Alex, was enough.

-- 

It was a late night, rain falling from the sky, the sky was pitch black, just perfect time to sleep. At least that's what Alex thought. Climbing the window, the poles were wet and impossible to hang on. After a while she finally reached the top, her hand landing on something sticky. She raised her hand to see what's on it and she cursed under her breath. It was a shit from the bird.

The white, sticky substance made Alex's stomach churn. Deciding to ignore it for right now, Alex took one final reach to the window, opened it and got quietly inside. Opening the window, Alex got inside, first taking off her shoes and her wet jacket that had sticked on her like it was her second skin. ‘ew.’ just the thought of having the jacked on her frame a bit longer, made her feel like she wanted to throw up.  

Turning to the wall, Alex took off her jacked and her boots, while changing her clothes. huffing out breath when shirt stuck on her face, she cursed once again and, well, tried get her head out from the damn shirt. After a minute of fighting with a shirt, Alex took off the shirt and sighed out when the shirt finally came off from her. Ready to go to her bed, she turned around and then- a figure screamed out, their knife close to Alex’s face. Alex defended herself, twisting the knife from the person’s arm and grabbing them by their arms and put their head on Alex's bed. “You do that one more time, I swear to god, I am going to throw you out the window.” Alex spoke out, her breath catching in her throat and adrenaline radiating in her veins. 

“Yeah, well you should announce yourself when you're back, not getting in like you're trying to kill me.” Ellie sighed out, her breath quick and her heart pounding in her ears. “Plus, if you throw me out from the window, who's going to annoy your ass?” Ellie winced from the pressure, Alex was pressing to her head, and she tried to get away from her grasp, but Alex only glared at her and smirked. “Yield, then I'll let you go.” Ellie shook her head no, pride filing her voice. “No fucking way, ‘ll rather die than do that shit-” Alex pressed harder on Ellie’s head, and then finally, Ellie yelped and chocked out “okay! Okay, Jesus fine! I yield! I yield!”  

Away from her grasp, Ellie straightened up, her back cracking with each move she made and then she glared at Alex. “You're stupid, you know that right? You wannish for like a week, and then you decide to show up again, like you’re some sort of magician.” Ellie starred at her while Alex starred at her, worry and regret filling her eyes, for leaving her little sister lone. “I'm sorry, I thought it was going to take just a day, and it was going to, but then Jason told me that I have to go on another location and I just-” the next thing that Alex felt was Ellie's pair of arms around her frame, pulling her in a tight hug. The hug that could heal deepest wounds and make you feel like you're safe in someone's arms.  

Alex had no hesitation and circled her arms around Ellie, their limbs pressing onto each other's. She felt horrible for making her little sister worried. Whispering in Ellie’s ear, Alex spoke out, kissing Ellie’s head. “Sorry for worrying you, I promise that for the next two weeks, you and I are doing whatever you want.” and the look that Ellie gave it her made her want to take that back, because the grin on Ellie’s face? Oh yeah, Alex was in deep shit.  

“Really? Anything that I want?” Ellie giggled, stepping away from Alex and looking at her with an evil twinkle in her eyes. “Oh, I want to take it back so bad right now.” Alex whined while Ellie just smiled.  “Can I take it back? I'll take it back. You’re impossible to talk. I swear to God Ellie, if it's something stupid, I am really throwing you out the window-” 

“Don't worry, it's her way on convincing you that there is nothing to worry about. Right Ellie?” then a figure spoke up behind Alex. Turning around, Ellie and Alex saw Riley climbing up the window and with few huffs and puffs, Riley got in the room and closed the window. “Hey, what are we talking about?” Riley now stood tall with her hands on her hips and smile framed her face. Being next to window made her freckles shine under the light, making Ellie blush slightly and looking away. 

That didn't went unnoticed by Alex who was now grinning from ear to ear, teasing Ellie. She wanted to tell Alex to fuck off, but Riley beat her to it. “What? You’re not going to say hi? Or at least say that you’re glad to see me?” Riley asked, her hands dropping on her sides.  

Ellie just glared at her and turned around to go back to her bed. “Why would I? You decide to just sneak away for a night and then never come back.” turning around, Ellie faced Riley, her eyes stinged at how much she had tried to keep them away from falling down her face. Ellie paused, her voice barely above a whisper. “Everyone is leaving me. You, Alex. If you guys just want to leave forever, then fucking say so.” 

Alex’s eyes widened and a pang echoed in her chest. She didn't know that leaving her alone made her feel this way. She hated being the reason when her sister was sad. Looking away, Alex spoke in a slow voice, guilt filling every part of her body. “I'm sorry for making you feel like that, Ells. I swear, fuck- I'm sorry.”  riley on the other hand looked to the ground, avoiding Ellie's eyes, shame filling her entire body. If she knew what Ellie was feeling now, she would be mad too. Just the thought of Ellie or Alex disappearing out nowhere, made her worried. “I’m sorry for making you feel that way. It wasn't my intention. I was just trying to surprise you.” 

Ellies eyes were now full of anger, sadness seeping out of them. “Surprise me? How Riley? By leaving me alone? By making me feel like an idiot? Like I'm some toy, you decided to throw away?” Ellie’s voice was louder now. Loud enough to make an echo in their shared room; the room that Ellie, Alex and Riley had shared.  

Riley paused and then spoke up, her voice thin and quiet. “Surprise you by making you have the best night of your life. With me. With Alex. Nobody else, but us.” tears were sliding down Riley’s face, her eyes red and filled with guilt.  

Ellie’s face fell. Her face before angry, now it was shocked. She was angry at herself for bursting so easily for taking her anger out on her sister, the person who was always with her, who was always on her side, no matter what. On Riley too, she was the person who made Ellie laugh so hard, her stomach filling with butterflies, sending her on the cloud nine. She was the one who Ellie felt seen but not exposed. She was the person that Ellie finally realized that she is in love.  

Ellie’s breath caught in her throat. Her heart was at war with itself—anger clawing at the edges of her chest while something softer, more vulnerable, tried to break free. She wanted to scream, to run, but she also just wanted to be held, to be understood. 

Sighing Ellie rolled her eyes and wiped them dry, because the tears were falling down her face. Punching Riley’s and Alex's shoulders, she told them, her voice slightly cracking. “Yeah, I'm sorry for lashing out, I guess.” Alex’s face grew in a smile and riley just laughed her face stained with tears. “Yeah, you're sorry because you want to see the surprise.” Alex spoke up.  

Giggling, Ellie threw a pillow on Alex’s face and before she could catch it, it was already on her face. “Well, then, take your big girl pants on and follow me, my lady.” Riley spoke up, her voice now playful and teasing. 

--

Waking up from the short nap, Alex opened her eyes, and she saw Ellie, who was pulling on the chains an hour ago, now fast asleep on her shoulder. Being stubborn in this world carried a lot of consequences, but Ellie being Ellie, she loved that. She loved having control of her own actions, even if it meant that she is going to get in trouble for whatever reason. But having an older sister was even better. Ellie loved Alex so much, that even if having an absolute control of her actions wasn't even enough, because it means that Alex was, the one who always reminded her that she is going to be her sister forever and ever. It meant that Alex was going to annoy Ellie about how dangerous it was to be reckless, to be stubborn, to not accept that people come and go, whether we like it or not. 

Feeling Alex's stare at her, Ellie grumbled in her sleep and slowly opened her eyes. “You know its disrespectful when you’re starring at people like that? You’re scaring them off like that.” Alex just shrugged her shoulders and said with sarcasm dripping in her voice. “Well, that makes two of us.” 

Rolling her eyes, Ellie got up from Alex’s shoulder and stretched out. “How long was I out?”   

“Don't know, maybe like an hour?” 

“And you didn't even bother to wake me up?”  

“Why would I wake you up Ellie? To watch you pulling on the chains?” 

“Exactly! Because unlike you, I'm trying to get us out!”

Alex rolled her eyes and opened her mouth to say something, but the sound of the doors opening stopped her. Glancing on the other side, she saw a woman in her thirties, the same woman who has been ‘testing’ her and Ellie to see if they are going to turn. Ellie, however, got up from the floor and glared at the woman who was 6 feet away from them, as if she was keeping her distance from them. Ellie looked at the plate she and Alex had from the other day and pushed with her foot, forcing it away from her.  

The woman looked at her papers, a pen in her hand, writing down something. Then she spoke up. “Count slowly and steady.” Ellie rolled her eyes and began counting fast. “onetwothreefour-” the woman looked up from her papers, her voice annoyed and clipped. “Slowly and steady” Alex, now enough of her shit, got up from the floor ang began to count instead of Ellie, because she knew that if she began to say something, she’ll have to deal with it, and she wasn't in the mood for that.  

“One, two, three, four, five” with each number she recited she stared at the woman, her eyes sharpening with every move the woman made. “Six, seven, eight, fuck you.” and then a smirk appeared on Alex's face, her middle finger raised at the end of her sentence. Ellie who was next to her, smiled so big Alex could swear that the heaven above blessed her. “Fuck yeah, that's what I'm talking about!” Ellie high fived Alex, who had the same smile on her face.

The woman rolled her eyes and grumbled something under her breath. Writing something down, she spoke up again. “Now hold up your ha-” and there stood Ellie and Alex, their hands extended out, their posture still. The woman wrote again something in her file. Sighing woman shook her head slowly and spoke up, her voice clipped and short. “State out your names. Slowly.” 

Muttering under her breath, Ellie spoke up annoyed. “Veronica. The same as today, the same as yesterday, and the day before and the day before and the-” Alex cut her off by speaking up. “Alex Williams. Something else?” and she swore, Ellie's eyes fell out from her head, her mouth opening in a shock. “Dude! What the fuck? Why are you stating out your real fucking name?” Ellie whisper shouted.  

Alex turned to face Ellie, and she shrugged her shoulders. The woman wrote something gain and then she closed her file, clutching it to her side. And then she turned round and got out from the room, while them man appeared behind the woman and took the plate from the ground, his back now facing them as he slammed the doors behind him, getting out from the room.   

“Hey!” Ellie shouted and her voice muffled when the doors closed. “HEY! People are gonna come looking for us. People from FEDRA.” her voice cracked with every word she said, breaking Alex's heart. She hated to see Ellie broken apart, her face once filled with smiles, now with nothing else but guilt and anger. “You hear me?! Let us go or you’re gonna pay motherfuckers!”  

Alex saw Ellie's distress and she called out her name. “Ellie, leave it.”  Seeing tears falling her face, she pulled Ellie in a tight hug. The kind of hug that healed all the wounds, the kind of hug that made Ellie forget about all the problems she faced. “Why won't they let us go home?” Ellie said, her voice cracking with every word she said.  Alex could feel her heart breaking in pieces. The tough of Ellie carrying all the problems alone, made her feel uneasy. It made her chest feel like she can't breathe.  

Taking Ellie’s face in her arms, Alex said, wiping away Ellie’s tears. “Hey, hey, Ellie. Hear me out, okay.” Sniffing, Ellie raised her head and looked Alex right in the eyes, when she did, she saw a smile on Alex’s face, like it was the only thing that grounded Ellie from going insane. “There you go. Listen- maybe one day, the day that we are going to escape from this hellhole, we are going to have our own place. The place to live together, to laugh, to eat, to make new memories and the place where we are going to pretend like everything is okay.” tears were dropping on Alex's face, her mind wandering to her dad, to her mom. The time when everything was perfect, even though the world went to shit.   

She can remember her mom’s laugh, it sounded just like Ellie's, her face scrunching up and the way her teeth were showing up every time she smiled. She looked at Ellie one more time and she nodded her head. Yep, just like their mom. She could also remember her dad. She remembers the way his face would scrunch in confusion, his eyebrows making a weird shape that she had. She knew that because Ellie told her so, million times. She remembers the way that he would cackle and the way his eyes would shine so bright, lighter than a diamond. Both of Ellie and her had his eyes, but Ellie had the shape of her mom’s, while Alex had the shape of her dad’s. 

Ellie is energetic, just like their mom, while Alex is calmer, just like their dad. While Ellie is the sun, Alex is the moon. Ellie is sharp on her tongue, she does not care what other people think about her, she's her own person. While Alex is the kind of that will search for comfort in the people that she's closest with. She will run away from her problems, not wanting to face them. Not wanting to remind herself of them. She will pretend like they don't exist. Ellie was like mom, brave, sharp and stubborn, while Alex was like dad. She will protect her loved ones even if it meant that she will be the one who will be gone at the end of a day.  

“We can go to the moon; we can go back in time and see all the dinosaurs you're interested in. We can explore various of books we want to read, the songs we want to listen. We can have monkeys as pets.” hearing that, Ellie laughed, her chest shaking and her smile so wide that could heal all Alex's wounds. “Can we have Captain America as our neighbor?” Ellie asked her tears shining with tears sliding her face, the happy tears. Alex's eyes were so wide and the sound that she had just made, it was hilarious. It gave comfort to Ellie. It gave her hope, that maybe one day, everything could be perfect.  

“We can even have Thor as our teacher about space.” and with that Alex hugged Ellie ono more time, but this time it felt like the darkness, the ugliness and everything in this world didn’t exist. It felt like everything was just like it was supposed to be.  

Alex sighed out a breath she was holding, and she whispered out to Ellie, like she was the only person she was supposed to hear, and no one else. “I love you 3000.”  

Ellie grinned and whispered out. “I could say the same about you too, sis” and with that Alex punched Ellie in the shoulder, while both sister’s laughs echoed in the room. 

--

After many hours and how Ellie would say it ‘more like thousand years later’, a knock interrupted their peaceful sleep. Alex's eyes fluttered open, the sun blocking her view. Ellie jolted awake and as if on command she began counting again. “One, two, three, four-” and then Ellie was the one who saw the woman in her thirties, her skin dark and her curly hair wrapped in a low ponytail, few strands of her hair framing her face.  

On her sides, the woman carried two backpacks. One was Ellie's and the other was Alex's. Nudging Alex, Ellie whisper-shouted to her. “Hey, Lexie wake up, man” With heavy sigh, Alex craned her neck and looked at the woman. The woman looked skeptically at the girls, her eyes widening with every move they made. Finally, deciding to give the girls their backpacks, she threw them on the floor. Ellie was the first one to pick up her own backpack, her fingers opening the zipper and then finally- she sighed out and took the knife and held it closer to her chest, her fingers fiddling it with it. Alex on the other side, looked at the woman and then took her own backpack and slowly opened the backpack, her eyes scanning the inside of it. When her eyes fell on two things, she sighed out and she closed it, clutching the backpack so close to her.  

“You're not scared.” Alex voiced out, her breath slow and her eyes sharpening with every move the lady made. She really didn't look scared, and it made Alex uncomfortable. 

“Then unlock us” Ellie voiced out both for her and Alex. She really hated the feeling of the cuffs on her hand.  

The woman just scoffed and said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “How about we start with thank you?”  

Alex and Ellie said at the same time, their faces confused. “For what?” 

The woman cocked her eyebrows and told them, her voice loud enough for them to hear. “For saving your lives? For telling them not to shoot at you girls? That was me, just in case you didn't know.”  

“And who are you?” Alex asked, her curiosity winning. 

The woman smiled and shook her head. “I'm Marlene.” and Alex swears, her eyes never widened so fast. So, she is the woman who was the leader of the fireflies. Alex thought.  

However, Ellie didn't care for Marlene's name, so she asked her the question that been bugging her since she came in here. “Why did you stop them?” Marlene just shrugged and answered. “We’ll get to that.” 

Deciding to unlock the cuffs from the girl's hands, Marlene leaned forward causing for Ellie to raise her knife away from her and Alex to grab the broken glass from the floor and pointing to Marlene's way. Marlene leaned back and raised her hand, revealing the key in her hand. When the girls saw the key in Marlene's rasp, they looked at each other and nodded their heads. Marlene unlocked Ellie's cuff and then did the same to Alex.  “So, Veronica... Alex” Alex just glared at her while Ellie just giggled at Alex's face. “How do ya feel?”  

“The same.” Alex answered for both of her and Ellie.  

“Is it gonna happen?” Ellie asked, fear filling her voice. The thought of turning in one of them, scared her more than she thought. 

“So, can we go?” Alex asked.  

“We won't tell anyone about any of this, I swear.” Ellie slowly said, her voice full of hope, that Marlene would let them out and they could go back home. The thought of being in this hellhole for one more day, made her feel insane. It made her skin crawl with fear.  

Marlene leaned backwards, her arms crossing and her eyebrows cocking in confusion. “And where are you gonna go?” her voice was now loud and sharp. “Back to FEDRA military school? Are you that desperate to be a solider?” then she turned to Alex and asked her the question that made Alex's heart stop and her breathing gone.  “And you Alex? Do you want to kill your sister, just because she has to kill you? Because you want to make sure that the world one day everything comes back to normal?” Marlene spat. 

Just thinking about that made Alex curl up to herself and never wake up again. Just the thought of her little sister not being here anymore because of her, it made her stop and think about what Marlene just said. ‘Kill Ellie?’ the thought ran around Alex's mind like an echo, her mind glitching and imagining every worst-case scenario. No, she couldn't, she can't, Ellie- she's her little sister. The person who she loves the most, the person whom she promised that she is going to be next to her forever and ever. She promised her mom that she is always going to protect Ellie, no matter what, that its always going to be Ellie and her to the edge of the universe.    

Snapping back in the reality, Ellie's voice broke Alex out of her trance. “You think we chose that place? That we want to be a part of their shitty community that just-ruins the humanity more than it does?” Ellie spat out, her voice trembling with every word she said. “They put us there when Ellie and I were barely old enough to stand on our own. It's for orphans.” Alex continued, her voice small and quiet.  

She can remember the time when she and Ellie just got in there. The weird stares and the hushed whispers with fingers pointed in their direction. She held Ellie closer to her chest, whispering out the soft words to Ellie because she noticed how upset Ellie has gotten. Day after day, week after week, counting turned into years, the stares stopped, but the judging grew. The kids who were surrounding them made them feel like they didn't belong here, like there was no place for them. 

Marlene watched the girls, and a smile appeared on her face, making Ellie frown. “They didn't put you here.” she paused and then said again “I did.” 

Ellie watched Marlene with a shock on her face while Alex just stood there. She felt like something, or someone was telling her that, maybe, Marlene knew her parents. She knows that there was a woman who was her mom’s best friend, and she remembers that the lady had the dark skin and curls, but she couldn't remember her face. The feeling irked her, it made her want to claw out her yes and to remember the lady, to know who she was to her parents.  

“... are you my fuckin mom or something” Ellie asked, a chuckle in her voice.  

“Do I look like your mom?” Marlene asked with a small smile on her face.  

Ellie turned to Alex as if she was searching for answers and i almost made Alex laugh, but instead she just shook her head no and then Ellie turned back to Marlene “no, you're not” 

“As I told you, my name is Marlene. though you probably already know that.” she turned to face Alex, and she saw the stare Alex was giving her. Like she as trying to find the lost piece of her memory in her eyes. A shook of wave ran in Marlene's veins, and she looked back at Ellie, though she could still feel Alex's stare at her. “I'm the leader of the fireflies in the Boston QZ.” 

Ellies eyes widened at the sudden confession, so she asked. "Why would terrorists dump us with FEDRA?”  

Marlene sighed out and she leaned forward.” because its where you'd be safest, and you were safe until you decided to sneak out and-” Marlene paused and thought about the next words she’s going to say, because she knew that they were going to hurt. “Terrorists? Was Riley a terrorist?” 

The words that she said fell like bomb. The grip on the knife Ellie held was so strong, Alex thought her hand would bleed out, so she held Ellie close to her, while she could feel the tears dropping on her face. “Why won't you let us go home?” Ellie asked while the tears swelled up in her eyes as well.  

Noticing the tears of the girls, marine's heart dropped to her knees. She knew how much Riley had meant to the girls. Just like Anna has to her. Being her friend since the childhood mad it harder for her to process her death. even now, she grieved, but she hid it so well. “Because you, Ellie, gave a greater purpose than any of us could ever imagine.” 

Alex looked at Marlene so wide, she thought her fuckin eyes were going to pop out from her skull. The purpose? What purpose? Why is Ellie special to them? What are going to do with Ellie? Are they going to take her away from Alex? No. No no no no no- they- they couldn't. They shouldn't. She swears that the day they take Ellie, is the day that she will burn the whole world just to find her, just so her little sister could be with her again.  

Ellie looked at Marlene, confusion written so clearly on her face. Wanting to ask about more, Marlene interrupted her.  “So, we’re leaving tonight, and we are taking the two of you with us.” 

The knock interrupted the heavy tension in the air, the tension that was hard to swallow. “He's here.” the same woman who tested out Ellie and Alex if they ever turned, and Ellie being the menace she is, she stuck out her tongue at the woman and the woman rolled her eyes and closed the doors. “Five minutes.” Marlene said.  

When the doors shut close, Marlene spoke up, the seriousness in her voice clear than ever. “What I'm about to tell you, cannot be repeated to anyone. Because if you do-” Marlene's words were firm and short. “I assure you; you will die.” 

FEW HOURS LATER -

Looking back, Ellie wished she wasn't born. She just wished that Alex, her mom and dad had a happier life. But no, the universe had a dumb way of saying ‘hey! So, this is the life you’ll live from now on. Have fun!’ and she hated it. She hated the fact that her and Alex had to live in this world, the world that's consumed by murder, by hope. Hope. Fuck that shit. She hated that feeling. she hated when it got the best of her, only to let her down.  

Her thought interrupted the talking of a man and woman, probably Marlene fighting with some jackass. Then there was the real fighting, the wrestling and then- gunshots. She looked at Alex and her eyes were wide. Alex knew what is going to be the next thing Ellie's going to pull off, so, she shook her head no at Ellie and tried to grab her arm from walking out from the door. Ellie got her arm out before it could fall into Alex's grasp and she slowly waled to the doors, her footsteps quiet. Finally, she reached the doors, and she pressed her ear against it. Hearing the faint footsteps, she told Alex to quiet it down and he pressed herself harder against the doors. Alex, now sick of Ellie, she stepped closer and tried to get her away from the doors, but then a voice spoke up behind the doors, making her stop in her tracks. The voice was gruff and heavy, looks like it was a man’s voice and then she heard a soft-spoken voice, the woman’s voice.  

Now Alex did the same thing as Ellie, she pressed her ear against the doors, making Ellie grin widely. Opening her mouth to say something snarky, Alex's hand stopped Ellie, and she glared at her. Then the footsteps stopped. Why did they stop? Did the man and the woman found out that they are behind the doors, listening to them? What are they going to do? Are they going to hurt Ellie? The thought run around Alex's mind like a mantra, making her breath stop.  

And then Ellie decided to do something stupid. In a moment of a haze, Ellie threw herself at the doors, and got out falling against a man who was probably in his 50’s. Her eyes wide and her breath quick, Alex cursed loudly and called out for Ellie.  “Ellie! What the fuck are you doing-” and the next thing Alex saw made her stop in her tracks and takeout the gun from her waistband she hid from Marlene. A man pushed Ellie against the wall, making her drop to the floor, his gun pointed at her. A switch turned in her head and she stepped closer to the man and put her gun on his head, nudging his head with her gun. The man craned his head to look at Alex who stared at him, her eyes burning his skull.  

Then a voice interrupted her interaction with a man, her eyes snapping to the voice. Marlene and Kim-the woman whom she just met. “Joel?” her eyes snapped back to Ellie’s; her concern bigger than the awkwardness in this room. “Marlene?” the man spoke up. How do they know each other? Alex wanted to ask Marlene, but her attention was on Ellie, who was having a hard time breathing, a man's gun pointed at her. Seeing that Alex spoke carefully. “Put the gun down, or I'm gonna blow your brain out.” the man looked at Alex once more and scoffed, his gun still pointed at Ellie.  

Marlene looked at Ellie and pointed out, her voice annoyed. “Jesus, Ellie, you can’t be stupid like that.” 

Joel scoffed and then the woman behind him spoke up. Her face stitched up, probably because, well, she was injured. “So, this is who Robert screwed us over with?” her face showed a sign of annoyance, and she continued. “The Che Guevara of Boston? I mean the war must be going shitty for you to buy merch from scumbags like him.”  

Marlene sighed out and she held her now bleeding side “Yeah well it has been. The merch was bad, and he obviously didn't take ‘fuck off’ for an answer.” 

Ellie listened the conversation and her hand flied to her pocket, where her knife was hidden. The knife was safely tucked in her pocket- wait. Her knife.  where it is. Ellie patted her pockets, and her eyes met Alex's as if she was asking her for help. Alex took a deep breath, and her eyes scanned the hallway, and then- the knife. It was next to Joel's leg. Finally seeing it, Ellie reached for the knife, only to be under Joel's foot, away from Ellie's grasp. “Give me my knife” “Give her, her knife.” Ellie and Alex spoke up at the same time.  

Joel only ignored the girls, and his head turned to Marlene. “What do you need a car battery for? "Ellie did the stupid move again, making Alex's heart stop. She stuck her hand out to grab the knife, and Joel pointed his gun again at Ellie, his voice now threating. “Don't.” 

Alex just pressed her gun at Joel's head harder and she sneered at him, her voice full of venom. “Drop the fucking gun.” while Marlene pointed her gun at Joel and said, carefully, her voice filled with worry. “Not at her. Point at me.”  

Then Marlene decided to tell Alex the thing that she didn't even dare to do. “Alex, drop the gun.” Alex just scoffed and pressed the gun to his head. “Alex for the love of God, drop the weapon.” and then with a final glance at Marlene, Alex dropped the gun down, her hands dropping to her sides.  

“To answer your question, I need it for better reason than you do. No offence, but tommy’s just one man.” Marlene clutched her side.  

“how's he just one man-” Marlene interrupted Joel. “it's our business to know things.” 

“To know things?” Joel asked. “you're the cause of it.  you turned my own brother against me.” 

God damn, this guy had it all, Alex thought.  

“That was a lot of gunfire. FEDRA’s gonna be on the way.” Kim pointed out, the women who was on Marlene's side. 

“We were gonna move Ellie and Alex outta the zone tonight, but we won't make it anywhere like this. Not for a while anyway.” Marlene pointed out. “So, I think you're gonna do it.” Marlene pointed to Joel and Tess.  

What? Why them? No, not a way in a hell, Alex thought. She was going to take her alone in there, even if it meant that bunch of FEDRA officers are going to be on her for that.  

“We are not going with them” Alex and Elie said at the same time.  

“Let me take her.” Kim said. 

“Kim, you don't have a fuckin ear on your head, don't you dare to take her.” Marlene pointed out. 

“Tess, we don't have time for this.” Joel and Tess were ready to walk out from the hallway, their missions now dropped in water. “You don't have time?” Marlene asked the pair.  

“Who are they to you?” Tess asked Marlene. It really irked her off, the thought that they must take the girls.  

“To you, they're cargo.”  

“We don smuggle people.” Joel pointed out. 

Marlene sighed out. She wanted to bang her head against the wall until it falls off from her shoulders. “there's a team of fireflies waiting for he two of them at the old state. I know what's out there. We are going with an entire squadron for that very reason.” Marlene spoke up. Looking at Ellie and Alex, their faces twisted in confusion, she continued. “But now I don't have a truck, I don't have a squadron. FEDRA’s five minutes away. What I do have is you. And I know what you guys are capable of. For better or worse.” Marlene finished; her breath quick at the speed she spoke.  

Ellie was, at least to say, surprised to what Marlene just said. Jesus that's a lot of work. Ellie thought. “What are they capable of?” 

“You need to get her and Alex safely there. They will get you what you need. Not just a battery. The whole thing. Fueled up trucks, guns, supplies all of it. I swear.” Marlene said.  and the second Ellie head the word guns coming out from Marlene's mouth, her eyes widened in excitement. Alex just shook her head no and she mouthed out to Ellie ‘no fucking way, stay where you are, Ellie.’ and then with a swift of his leg, Joel kicked Ellie's knife away, making Ellie to curse at him. “Asshole.” 

Joel paused and then he turned his back, and he pulled Tess to the side, the two of them talking it out. The second he did, Alex rushed to Ellie's side and engulfed her in a tight hug. “What is wrong with you. I told you to stay back, you shithead.” Alex whispered out to Ellie.  

Then Tess broke out from Joel's distance and spoke up. “Okay here’s the deal. We'll get them to your crew at the statehouse. But before we hand her over.” she pointed to Ellie. “They give us everything what we want. If not, we kill ‘em there and then.” Tess finished talking.  

“Deal.” Marlene just nodded.  

What' oh hell no. Alex will kill them before anyone touches her little sister. No way in hell. Just the thought of handing Ellie to someone Alex didn't believe in made her feel like Shes trapped in a trap.  

“Really, that fast?” Ellie spoke up, her face offended.  

“you two are all that matters.  my team will not jeopardize that.” Marlene told Ellie and she looked both girls. "Remember what I told you. Now go get your backpacks.” Ellie hesitated while Alex didn't wait a second, before marching off and taking her backpack with her. “Now Ellie.” Alex voiced out to Ellie.  

Ellie got up and took her backpack from the room they were once in and then she got out, looking back at Marlene and then she knocked her shoulder against Joel's, making him slightly stumble from the impact.  

Joel, who was already walking away from Marlene heard a soft spoke voice, coming from Marlene. “Joel. Don't fuck this up.” and with that he walked out from the hallway into the streets.  

-- 

After few hours passed by, Alex and Ellie were still sitting in the chair. Suddenly the snore snapped them out from their conversation and Ellie spoke up. “You mumble in your sleep.” 

Joel just rolled his eyes, and he got up in a sitting position, facing the girl. Ellie continued with her rambling. “I've ever been on the other side of the wall. Look at how dark it is.” Ellie glanced at Joel and then at the window again. “you guys go there a lot?” 

Joel just sighed out and spoke up. “I guess.”  

Alex just stared out the window, listening to their conversation. She got out a lot. She seen the city, the last bits of the fallen Boston. She seen the infected a lot of the times. She killed them too. Not just infected, but the people too. it's not something she’s proud off. After all she was forced to do that. she can hear the screams of the people begging her not to take away their lives. 

“When was the last time?” Ellie asked, looking out the window.  

“I don't know, maybe a year. Why ask?” Joel questioned.  

“You know where to go. So, we are gonna be okay.” Ellie whispered out. Alex noticed the discomfort in Ellie’s posture, so she did something that she knew would calm Ellie down. The though f losing Ellie over something stupid, made he feel like she wasn't worth her. Ike she wasn’t worth of being Ellie's sister. “Hey, hey, it's okay, c'mon.” Alex whispered out to Ellie, her arms circling around Ellie.  

Joel noticed the sudden change between the sisters, softly called out to the girls. “Yeah. So, what's the deal with the two of you anyway? You some kind of bigwig's daughter or somethin’?” his eyes never leaving Alex's.  

“Something like that.” Alex spoke up, her voice quiet before turning her attention to the window once again. Joel raised his eyebrows in shock. So, the girl can speak. 

“The radio came on when you were sleeping.” Ellie spoke up, making Alex grin slightly, knowing what she was planning to do. And like on the sign, Joel's back stood up straight and the panic in his voice, made Alex grin even more under her palm. “What? What was the song?” Joel asked. 

“Something like-” Ellie continued, her eyes now turning to Alex's waiting for her to finish the sentence. “Wake me up before you go-go?” Alex finished out. And just on the cue, Joel sighed out and cursed under his breath, not before running the hands on his face.  

Ellie grinned and opened her mouth to say something more, Alex interrupted her. “Gotcha. 80’s means trouble. Code broken.” Alex finished out and hen looking over to Ellie, her hand raised out to high five Alex.  

Then a switch turned in Joel's had. Damn it. The girls guessed the code.  Joel who was sitting on the couch, he stood up from it and he walked over to the girls, his footsteps heavy and his voice shuddering.  “Listen-” and then the rattle of the doorknob interrupted him, Tess getting inside the room and locking it behind her. “The spot under Lancaster looks good. "Then she turned Alex and Elie and asked them. “you two got a jacket in those backpacks?” 

Alex was the first one ho nodded her head yes and answered “yeah.”  

“Okay, get it. It's time to go.” Tess pointed out to the girls.  

The girls, Alex and Ellie. Goth their jackets out from their packs and put the jackets on and their backpack on their shoulders. The sudden change in the air made Alex take a deep breath and to prepare herself for the worst-case scenario. Joel, Tess, Alex and Ellie got out from the doors; the apartment now empty.  

-- 

To say that the rain wasn't still falling, Alex could only lie to herself. Yep, she still hates the rain. While Ellie is enjoying the feeling of the droplets of the rain in the fucking tunnel they were in. Alex could handle guns, knives, blood and even maybe a pair of infected, but water on her skin? Ugh she hated that. Stuck in her own thoughts Ellie broke her out from it, and she told her, a smile on her face. “Ahh the water. You love this part, right Lexie?” and Alex just shoved Ellie's shoulder, making her stumble against the wall.  

Finally, after what it felt like a decade of walking around in the tunnel, Joel stopped and began climbing up the stairs. Wait, what? The stairs? Like the one who are stuck to the wall? Alex gulped and began slowly climbing up after Ellie her breaths rushed. After a while Joel stopped once again, and Alex swore that she never had a tight grip on something. Finally, once again, Joel lifted the cover and slowly got out, then Ellie and Alex following her and Tess being the last one. After checking if anyone got safely out, Joel placed the cover back. And then Ellie deciduate up from the floor and look around, shouting. “Holy shit, I'm actually outside!”  

Alex's eyes widened and she took Ellie by her hand and pulled her down to crouch once again, before whisper shouting “what are you doing? are you out of your mind?!” then the light flashed out in their direction, Alex pulled Ellie on the ground, her breathing uneven at how much stuff was happening right now.  

“Okay we’re gonna tail the left edge around the buffer zone. You stay close and you follow my lead. Got it?” Tess whispered out to the girls, but mostly to Ellie. Because she noticed how much she wanted to see around her. Alex and Ellie nodded, and Tess spoke up again. "Let's go.” 

The group finally moved Tess leading again and Joel checking up if anyone was following, while the girls just followed Tess, their hands brushing lightly. Alex watched the way Tess walked towards, and her mind started to wander. She remembers this way. The time when she was sent on the mission, she was only 16 years old. sent off alone in the mall. To see if the mall was empty, if there were any signs of infected. She had spent the whole night in there, checking the corners around. luck was on her side, even tho she didn’t believe in it.

The group finally moved Tess leading again and Joel checking up if anyone was following, while the girls just followed Tess, their hands brushing lightly. Alex watched the way Tess walked towards, and her mind started to wander. She remembers this way. The time when she was sent on the mission, she was only 16 years old. sent off alone in the mall. To see if the mall was empty, if there were any signs of infected. She had spent the whole night in there, checking the corners around. Luck was on her side, even though she didn’t believe in it. She remembers the time when FEDRA used to hang people just because they wanted to have a touch of a freedom once in their lives. The screams, the sounds that people made, it engraved in her brain. Ellie being curious didn't make it any better. She wanted to see what's like out there, to see why everyone is going outside the walls. Ellie and Riley wanted to see what's like out there. Alex fought with her blood, sweat and tears for Ellie not to go there; she tried the same with Riley. But Riley didn't listen. So, she left, she left and explored the walls, the malls, the areas that were restricted trespass into. And then she joined the fireflies. While Alex left the fireflies, Riley joined them.  

The shuffling of the footsteps broke her out from her trance, the voice sharp and horribly familiar. Before she could have a chance to take Ellie by her arm and to run away, a voice stopped her. “What the fuck? Hey! Hey, hey, hey! Don't move! Don't move!” Tess and Joel immediately stopped and raised their hands up, while Alex just shoved Ellie to the side. The officer just gasped and whispered out to Joel and Tess “You gotta be shitting me.” 

“Okay let's just talk this out.”  Joel said his hands shaking, trying to find a way to get the hell out from here. The officer just scoffed and pointed his riffle to the group. “Turn around.” Joel tried again, his voice still. "Wait, hold on-”  

“Get on your knees! Get on your fuckin knees!” the officer yelled out; his patience thin while the light on his riffle flashed out and revealed Tess, Joel, Ellie and Alex. And just on a cue, the officer starred at Alex and chuckled out, pointing his riffle now on Alex. “So, you're the famous Alex Williams, huh? Wanted to follow your daddy’s steps, right?” Alex’s throat bobbed and her hands shook, her mind rewinding the time when everyone from the fireflies used to make fun of her, just because her dad was in there. All the stares she got, the pitying looks, it made her feel weak, and she didn't like that. So, she closed herself up and just did the tasks she needed to do. Plus being an older sister to a newly born sister was a hard thing to do. Even when growing up, Alex used to tell her all the memories she had from her parents. Ellie loved that and even if she never met their parents, Ellie learned to love them. 

 The officer saw how uncomfortable Alex looked so, he just continued “guess that didn't work out, huh? Man, I wish my dad was now next to me-” Joel stopped the officer, yelling out and noticing the way Alex's tears started to swell up in her eyes, her breath shaking and her lips trembling, like she was in some kind of trance. “Hey! Focus on me. Not her alright?” 

The officer just smirked and spoke up, his voice filled with nothing, but venom. “Why, so she could escape? Yeah man. Keep fuckin dreaming. Now get on your damn knees!” 

Tess sighed out and she got on her knees, her back facing the officer now, and Alex, Ellie and Joel got down and did the same thing as Tess. “Just get on your knees. Just get on your knees, c'mon.” Tess told them.  

The officer now dropped his rifle and walked over the group, while Tess spoke up. “Listen, you let us do this run... we'll split the cards with you.” the officer just scoffed and spoke. “Oh, will you?” Tess nodded her head “yeah!” 

Sitting on their knees, Alex and Ellie looked at each other as the officer took out the device, their eyes wide and Ellie’s eyes starting to sting. That was it. The officer is going to kill her for even finding out. Alex is going to be alone, and she is going to grieve Ellie to the rest of her life. Alex took out the knife from Ellie's pocket and hid it in her sleeve, ready for the attack.  

“Oh, I'm so blessed. Hands on your head, eyes forward. Hands on your head!” the officer just yelled out.   

The group interlocked their fingers and put them behind their heads, ready for the scanning. Ellie looked at Alex and whispered out to Alex. “I'm scared.” and when Alex looked at her, she could feel thousands of emotions flooding through her eyes. So, she just whispered out to Ellie, her voice filled with worry. “It's okay, we’re okay.” and Ellie just nodded her head.  

Tess saw the device and she grumbled, her voice annoyed. “Really man?” 

The officer just nods his head. “Yep. we're doing this by the book.” 

“Jesus Christ.” Tess grumbled. 

The officer put the device on Tess's head, and it beeped, showing the green screen, meaning she is not infected. Then next was Joel and the officer did the same thing with Tess. The device beeped and it showed the green screen, making Joel sigh out.  

“Unauthorized exit. They'll hang you for that.” the officer said.  

Joel rolled his eyes and spoke up, craning his head to look at the officer. “Fine! Everything off this run and half of the pills!” 

The officer just scoffed and spoke up. “Half of? No, all off!” 

Next up was Alex, and the officer stood behind her, grabbing her by her hair, making her wince out and he scanned her neck. “Risk my job for half of the fuck-” the officer stopped and spoke up the grip on Alex's hair tighter now. “Oh, I'm so going to get rich for this girl right here. Isn't that right Alex?” 

 The officer took the device out from Alex's neck, and he looked at it, then the screen got orange, making the officer furrow his eyebrows and ask Alex, his voice curious. “What the hell is this supposed to mean?” and Alex just shrugged, her smirk wide and dangerous. “Don't now.  why scared I might kill you?” and the officer ignored her stepping closer to Ellie and scanning her neck. The next thing Alex pulled happened in a blur. She got the knife out from her sleeve and jabbed it into officer shoulder making him grunt and yell out, while she just pounced on him, moving Ellie out of the way. 

“Fucking bitch! I'm gonna fucking kill you-” the officer got up from the floor pointing his gun at Alex, her stance still, only for officer to laugh in a mocking manner and he spoke up. “Oh! Look at that! Joel Miller being the protective daddy that he is.” then the officer said again, his voice full of hatred and will to kill Alex. “Get out of the way!” 

Joel stood in front of the officer, his hands raised in front of him, trying to stop the things from going south. “Wait! We can fix this!” his hands hook and his mind wandering off on the memory he didn't want to remember.  

The officer just stared at Joel, and he yelled out. “Move! Move you fucker! MOVE-!” and then Joel pounced on the man, and hitting him with his fists clenched up, bruising the man’s face, and Joel’s knuckles filled with the officer's blood. He continued to punch the officer until he was unconscious. Then he turned around and saw Ellie and Alex, looking at him in shock and then the man who was probably dead.  

Tess however saw the device and looked at it, screaming out to Joel. “Joel! JOEL LOOK AT THIS” and Ellie noticed that and raised her sleeve, revealing the wound to Tess, trying to convince her otherwise. “No! No, no. Look! I'm not sick!”  

Alex saw the encounter between Tess and Ellie, and she stepped in, her voice shaking.  “No- Tess, she's not- she isn't infected-” Ellie just yelled out, her hands shaking. “I'm not sick! Look! This is three weeks old! Nobody lasts than a day! Does this look like a day old to you?” 

“i should fucking kill you! When did it happen?” Tess asked, sneering at Ellie. Alex heard what Tess had said and stood in front of Ellie, and she got into Tess's face, her voice threating. “You do that, and I'll make sure you have the slowest and the most painfull death ever-” 

Elie shrugged Alex's arm of her and spoke up again. “It doesn't matter! You have to trust me! They're gonna catch us if we don't run!” 

Joel looked at Tess, Alex and Ellie and he spoke up. “The pipsqueak is right. We have to move.” he looked at Tess and he spoke up, picking up the riffle officer had and flung it over his shoulder. “We gotta move Tess. C’mon.” he looked at the officer, who was on the ground, now definitely dead from Joel's powerful punches on his face.  

He turned around and followed the girls and Tess, going through the fence, the sharp edges scraping his skin, burning him. 

While they walked, Alex wondered how will everything turn out after Ellie saves the world?  What will happen to her? Will there be any consequences? Will Joel and Tess be there when the situations get ugly, while they travel all the way to the fireflies. The ones that Alex gave up from long ago, before becoming her own person and doing everything on her own. Only the universe will know. 

Until then, she will make sure that nothing happens to Ellie. Ever. Or that's what she thought. 

[elliesngirl]

X Games

Ellie Williams X Reader, squid game au!

Red Light, Green Light - Prologue/Part 1/Part 2/Part 3...

So there will be more parts to this then i intended, + lmk if you wanted to be added to the taglist :)

I am using aud for this to make it less confusing, example 

45.5 billion won = 50.2 million aud

908 won = 1 aud 

--

Life had a way of kicking you when you were down. Missing your train after running for it at full speed—your chest heaving, your legs burning, and your bag nearly slipping from your shoulder—was just the cherry on top of a week that couldn’t get any worse.

You stood there, watching the train vanish into the darkness of the tunnel, the doors snapping shut just before you reached them. The people inside didn’t even bother hiding their judgmental stares. You slumped onto a bench nearby, dropping your bag on the ground and pressing your face into your hands.

It was hard to pinpoint the exact moment everything started going wrong. For a while, you thought life had handed you a string of bad luck. But deep down, you knew better. It all came back to Ellie.

You loved her, maybe more than you should have. Ellie had been your anchor, the one constant in your life when everything else felt chaotic. For years, it was just the two of you, and you thought nothing could come between you. The way she’d hold your hand in public, run her fingers through your hair at night, or whisper about all the places she wanted to take you someday—it was the kind of love you thought could last forever.

But love wasn’t enough to compete with gambling.

It started small. A trip to a casino during a weekend getaway. She laughed about how she’d almost won the jackpot, brushing off your concerns with a casual “It’s just for fun.” You didn’t think much of it. Everyone deserves a little fun, right? But then the nights at the casino became more frequent. The “fun” turned into hours spent staring at slot machines, betting on cards, and chasing losses she’d never recover.

When her money ran out, she turned to you. At first, it was fifty dollars here and there. “Just to get me through the week,” she’d say, flashing that smile you loved so much. But it wasn’t long before she stopped asking and just took what she needed.

You begged her to stop. You pleaded, cried, shouted—but nothing worked. The nights got longer. Sometimes, she wouldn’t come home until early morning, and when she did, she smelled like cigarettes and cheap alcohol. You told yourself you could fix her, that if you loved her enough, she’d change.

Then came the day she sat you down and told you, with a straight face, that she was fifty thousand dollars in debt. She looked at you like you were supposed to fix it. Like it was your problem to solve. That was the moment you realized you couldn’t save her.

You broke up with her on the spot.

She begged you to stay, swore she’d change, but you didn’t believe her anymore. You walked away, thinking you were free of her. But what you didn’t realize was that her addiction had planted a seed in you.

The first time you gambled, it was out of spite. You wanted to prove to yourself that you weren’t like her, that you could stop anytime you wanted. But gambling has a way of digging its claws into you. It only took a few weeks for you to spiral into debt yourself. Twenty thousand dollars gone, with no way to pay it back.

Now, you were here, sitting on a cold bench at a train station, your cheek pressed into your hands as you counted down the minutes until the next train. Forty-five minutes felt like an eternity.

The bench shifted slightly as someone sat down beside you. You didn’t bother looking up. The station was always busy.

Then you felt a tap on your shoulder.

You flinched, startled, and turned to see a man sitting next to you. He was sharply dressed in a dark suit, his hair neatly combed, and a briefcase resting on his lap. He didn’t look like he belonged here.

“Hello,” he said with a small smile.

You stared at him, unsure how to respond. Something about him felt… off.

“Can I talk to you?” he asked.

You hesitated but nodded. You didn’t have anything better to do.

He opened the briefcase, revealing two coloured cards—red and blue. You recognized the game immediately: ddakji.

“I’d like to play a game with you,” he said. His voice was calm, almost soothing, but there was something unnerving about the way he smiled.

“What kind of game?” you asked, your voice wary.

“It’s simple. If you can flip my card with yours, I’ll give you one hundred and ten dollars. If I flip yours, you’ll owe me the same amount.”

You frowned. “That’s it?”

“That’s it.”

It sounded too good to be true. You hesitated, but the thought of winning easy money was tempting.

“And if I lose?”

He tilted his head slightly, his smile widening. “You could use your body to pay.”

Your stomach dropped.

“What the fuck?” you hissed, standing abruptly.

“Relax,” he said, his tone unbothered. “I’ll deduct one hundred and ten dollars with every slap instead.”

Your hand instinctively went to your cheek, but you didn’t walk away. Against your better judgment, you sat back down. The man’s calm confidence was unnerving, but desperation clouded your instincts.

You picked the blue card, threw it down, and missed.

He smirked, picked up the red card, and flipped it effortlessly. Before you could even react, his hand came down hard on your cheek. The sting was sharp, and tears sprang to your eyes, but he didn’t seem to care.

“Another round?”

You lost again. And again. Each slap was harder than the last, until your face was red and numb. By the time you finally won a round, you were too stunned to even celebrate. He handed you the money, his smile never faltering.

“You know,” he said, pulling a small black card from his pocket, “there are other games where you can make even more money.”

He held the card out to you, and you hesitated before taking it. A circle, triangle, and square were printed on it.

“What is this?” you asked.

“Ms [name] [last name], 22 years old. You attended [school name] earlier this month, you broke up with your long term girlfriend which led to you 20k in debt, owing it all to the bank. Straight after work today, you spent your whole check and lost everything” He said, without taking a breath. “How do you know all that? Have you been stalking me?” You asked, his eyes moved down to the card in your hand, then said “Think about it.”

You stared at the card in your hand, your heart pounding. By the time your train arrived, you’d already made up your mind.

When you got home, you held the card in front of you, dialing the number printed on it.

“If you wish to participate,” a voice on the other end said, “state your name and birthdate.”

You hesitated, but only for a moment. “(Name), (Birthdate).”

They told you where to meet and gave you a password.

At exactly eleven p.m., you stood shivering at the meeting point, hugging yourself for warmth. The winter air was unforgiving, sharp gusts of wind biting at your exposed skin. Your jacket, barely thick enough for the season, clung to you uselessly, soaked through from the relentless rain. Water dripped from your hair, running down your face in cold rivulets, and your jeans were plastered to your legs, heavy and uncomfortable. You didn’t even bother to wipe your face anymore—what was the point?

The street around you was eerily quiet, save for the occasional squelch of your wet shoes shifting in the puddle beneath you. You checked the card in your hand for the hundredth time, your fingers trembling from both the chill and nerves. You glanced down the empty road, half-expecting this whole thing to be a cruel joke.

Just as doubt began to creep in, you heard the low hum of an engine. A gray van emerged from the darkness, its headlights piercing through the sheets of rain. It slowed to a stop in front of you, the tires splashing water onto the curb.

The door slid open with a sharp metallic sound, and a figure stepped out. He wore a bright pink jumpsuit and a mask that completely obscured his face, his presence looming and unnervingly calm. He stood stiffly, the rain pooling on his shoulders and sliding down his uniform like he wasn’t even human.

“Password?” he asked, his voice muffled and emotionless.

You swallowed hard, your breath visible in the frigid air. “Red Light, Green Light,” you said, your voice trembling slightly.

The pink-masked guard stepped aside without a word, motioning for you to enter. You hesitated for a moment, your stomach twisting in knots, but the freezing rain and the weight of your debt left you with little choice. Taking a deep breath, you climbed into the van.

Inside, the atmosphere was unsettling. The dim light revealed rows of passengers slumped in their seats, heads tilted awkwardly to the side, completely unconscious. Their breaths came slow and steady, fogging up the cold windows.

You forced out a nervous laugh, your voice breaking the heavy silence. “Looks like everyone was pretty tired,” you muttered, hoping for some kind of reaction.

The driver didn’t respond, nor did the guard who slid the door shut behind you with a final, echoing thud.

Moments later, you noticed the faint hiss of gas filling the van. Panic seized you as the air grew thick, your breaths becoming labored. Your limbs feel heavy, and your vision blurred.

The last thing you remembered was the soft hum of the engine and the steady rhythm of the rain as everything went dark.

You woke up to the soft hum of classical music, the delicate notes contrasting harshly with the sharp, fluorescent lights that flooded the room. Blinking rapidly, you tried to orient yourself, your head throbbing from whatever gas had knocked you out. As your eyes adjusted, the room came into focus—a vast dormitory with rows upon rows of bunk beds stacked high, filled with people.

To your right, someone sat on the edge of their bed, staring blankly ahead, wearing a green tracksuit with a number stitched onto the right side. You squinted at it—217. Turning to your left, another person in the same tracksuit sat rubbing their temples, their number reading 042. Confusion washed over you, and you instinctively glanced down at yourself.

Your breath caught when you saw the number stitched onto your own green jacket. 349.

Before you could even process what was happening, the room began to stir. People shuffled off their beds, stretching, yawning, and muttering amongst themselves. A loud commotion drew your attention to the center of the room, where two people were now yelling at each other.

A man with a snake tattoo curling up his neck—101—stood over a woman with sharp features and short hair—067. His voice was sharp, accusatory. “You think I don’t know what you did? You little thief!”

The woman didn’t back down, glaring at him with cold defiance. “I don’t owe you a damn thing,” she snapped back.

The tension was palpable, the entire room falling silent as the argument escalated. You wanted to help her, to say something, but fear kept you glued to your spot on the stairs. The last thing you wanted was to get involved and end up a target yourself.

Suddenly, another man—456—rushed into the fray, grabbing 067 by the arm and pleading desperately. “Where’s my money? You promised me you’d pay me back!”

Before she could respond, 101 shoved 456, his voice rising to a threatening growl. “Back off, old man. She’s my problem!” He raised a fist, clearly ready to strike, but before the punch could land, the sound of heavy boots echoed through the room.

The pink-suited guards entered in perfect formation, their presence immediately silencing the chaos. Everyone tensed, the air thick with unease.

A man in a pink suit, distinguished by the square on his mask, stepped forward. His voice was cold and mechanical, amplified by a speaker. “I would like to extend a heartfelt welcome to you all. Everyone here will participate in six different games over six days. Those who win all six games will receive a handsome cash prize.”

Murmurs spread through the crowd, disbelief and suspicion painted on everyone’s faces. “What is this, some kind of joke?” someone shouted. Others began to protest, demanding answers about their belongings and questioning how they’d been brought here.

In response, the guard gestured toward the massive screen on the wall. It flickered to life, displaying a montage of footage. You froze as images of the pink-suited man slapping various people appeared, each name and debt amount displayed on-screen.

You held your breath as your own face came up on the screen: [Name, Last Name], $20,000 in debt. You shrank back, trying to avoid drawing attention to yourself, your cheeks burning with humiliation.

But then, the next face appeared. You froze. Ellie Williams, $100,000 in debt.

Your stomach churned as memories of your ex flooded back. You rolled your eyes, scanning the room, but she was nowhere in sight. Maybe she hadn’t made it. Or maybe she was hiding just as you were.

The guards handed out consent forms, instructing everyone to read and sign. You grabbed yours hesitantly, scanning the terms carefully. The rules were strict and unyielding, but what choice did you have? You considered signing with a fake name but quickly dismissed the idea. They already knew everything about you. There was no escaping this. With a heavy heart, you scribbled your name on the dotted line.

Afterward, the group was led into a brightly coloured hallway. The walls were painted in vibrant, almost childlike hues, reminiscent of a playground. Spiral staircases twisted upward, and the floor was a checkerboard of cheerful pastels. The oddity of the setting unsettled you—why did it feel so playful yet so foreboding?

As you walked, the line came to a halt at a small station with a camera mounted on a stand. A robotic voice from the machine chirped, “Smile.”

Caught off guard, you hesitated before forcing an awkward smile. The camera clicked, capturing your face before the line moved forward. You fell in step with the others, glancing back at the machine. Your unease grew with every step.

Eventually, the guards led you through a set of double doors and into a massive, open field. The floor was covered in artificial grass, and at the far end stood a giant, childlike doll with an eerie, painted face. The walls were painted to resemble a sunny sky and a peaceful meadow, but the air was heavy with dread.

“This first game will be Red Light, Green Light. You are allowed to move when ‘it’ calls out ‘green light’ and must stop immediately when ‘it’ calls out ‘red light.’ If your movement is detected afterwards, you will be eliminated,” a calm, mechanical female voice announced over the speakers.

The word "eliminated" lingered in your mind, unsettlingly vague yet heavy with implication.

“Red Light, Green Light? Seriously?” you muttered under your breath, trying to keep your nerves from taking over. The absurdity of it all was almost laughable—until you felt the suffocating weight of the situation bearing down on you.

“[Name]!” a voice called out, sharp and familiar. Your heart dropped at the sound, your body stiffening instinctively. You turned your head slightly, hoping you were mistaken, but the voice grew closer, more insistent.

“[Name]!”

Before you could move away, a hand gripped your wrist tightly, and your stomach sank. You turned to face her. Ellie Williams.

Her eyes glinted with a mix of surprise and amusement, her crooked smirk only making your stomach churn. “What are you doing here?” she asked, her tone carrying a hint of laughter. “You’re in debt now, huh?”

“Get off me,” you snapped, pulling your wrist free from her grip.

“Guess we’ve got more in common now, huh?” she teased, her giggle low and careless, like none of this mattered to her.

You groaned and stepped away from her, trying to put some distance between you both as the doll suddenly came to life, its massive head swivelling toward the group.

“Green light!”

The moment the doll spoke, the crowd hesitated. No one wanted to be the first to move. But as the silence stretched on, a few brave players began to shuffle forward cautiously, their footsteps soft and deliberate. You took a deep breath and moved, each step feeling heavier than the last.

“Red light!”

The doll’s head spun around, its eyes scanning the crowd. You froze in place, holding your breath. The room was eerily silent—until a loud mechanical sound echoed, followed by a calm announcement.

“Player 343, eliminated.”

Your heart dropped as you heard a loud bang reverberate through the space, followed by a sharp scream. Your eyes darted to the source of the noise and immediately widened. A man crumpled to the ground, blood pooling around his lifeless body.

The realization hit like a punch to the gut. “Eliminated” didn’t mean disqualified. It meant dead.

A wave of panic rippled through the room. Someone screamed, and suddenly, chaos erupted. Players broke into a mad sprint toward the finish line, ignoring the game’s rules entirely.

The doll’s head swivelled violently, locking onto the runners. Bang. Bang. Bang. Each shot rang louder than the last, bodies dropping one after another.

You stood frozen, your body trembling. Your ears rang, your mind screamed at you to run, but your legs felt like lead.

“[Name], move!” Ellie’s voice snapped you out of your daze as the doll called, “Green light.”

You forced yourself to walk, each step shaky and uncertain. The path ahead felt endless, every second stretching into an eternity.

“Red light!”

You froze mid-step, your arms stiff at your sides. Someone next to you wobbled, their balance faltering. You didn’t dare to turn your head to look, but the sound of another gunshot told you they hadn’t made it.

The carnage around you was unbearable. People sobbed, begged, and screamed, but the doll was unrelenting. Each misstep was met with swift and brutal punishment.

When the doll called “Green light” again, you forced yourself to walk faster, keeping your head low and your focus sharp. Suddenly, your foot caught on something—a body. You stumbled, your arms flailing as you teetered on the brink of falling.

A strong hand grabbed your arm, steadying you before you hit the ground. “I’ve got you,” Ellie whispered, her voice surprisingly soft.

You looked at her, stunned, but she didn’t let go. “Come on,” she said firmly, pulling you forward.

The two of you moved together, her grip on your arm grounding you as you navigated the chaos. The doll’s mechanical voice called out “Red light” and “Green light” over and over, each cycle feeling like a lifetime.

With the finish line in sight, your legs burned, your lungs ached, but you refused to stop. Ellie’s grip tightened as the doll called out its final “Red light.” You both froze, standing just feet away from the line.

You could hear the cries of those who hadn’t made it, the gunshots ringing out like a grim metronome. You closed your eyes, waiting for the doll to speak again.

“Green light!”

Together, you and Ellie crossed the line, your knees nearly giving out as soon as you were on the other side. The moment you were safe, Ellie let go of your arm, stepping away as if nothing had happened.

You turned to look at her, your chest heaving as you tried to catch your breath. 

Around you, the field was littered with bodies. The vibrant, childlike setting felt grotesque now, the bright colours clashing violently with the blood and horror.

The guards began to collect the bodies methodically, as if it were just another part of the game. You looked down at your shaking hands, the reality of what you’d just survived settling in your chest like a heavy weight.

-

Hope you guys like it so far

Taglist: @vahnilla @radioheadfan699 @defnoteleonor @robinphobia @liztreez @deathbydollz @hemmo01 @soodle-noup @reneesub @ellensmithxo @lamorenita @kissedberries @liasxeatt @smiths-fan--13 @0phantom0 @ellieslittleslutt @aliceellieswife @mrpeanitsbutter @asothinking

[such-expensive-mistakes]

Superpham AU (part 6)

Masterpost

Lois prides herself at being good at rolling with the unexpected. Unfortunately, all of her experience with aliens and supervillains and magic has not prepared her for Danny.

Danny has a disconcerting habit of dropping disturbing or traumatizing information in an off-hand way, seeming to not even realize the implications of his own words. It started with what he said about the dimension he'd grown up in discriminating against people with powers, then with what he'd said about the red son and the lack of superheroes, but it just keeps happening.

Lois tries not to call attention to it, because she prefers it to the alternative, which is Danny shutting himself up in his room and refusing to talk to any of them.

Lex Luthor is on the nightly news-- as he so often is-- and Lois has to explain the man's many crimes to Danny. (No, Jon, it is not a rant.)

"Oh," Danny says. "He sounds like Vlad."

"Vlad?" Lois asks.

"Yeah, Vlad Masters. He's my godfather. He's a total fruitloop who wanted to marry my mom and make me his son."

Lois carefully does not react. She wants Danny to tell her things. She wants to know what his life was like when she wasn't in it. "That sounds..."

"Yeah, he tried to clone me. Well, I guess he succeeded, but none of them were stable except for Ellie, and she wasn't really that stable to begin with."

"Ellie?"

"Yeah, short for Danielle. She went by Dani-with-an-I for a while, but she decided she wanted her own name."

That is not the part Lois was looking for clarification on. She goes with it anyway. "Tell me about her," Lois says, and tries not to be concerned about Danny’s descriptions of a teenage girl who apparently lives and travels on her own because she doesn't like to be stuck in one place. Ellie doesn't even get the full benefit of being quarter Kryptonian, living in a world with a red sun.

The four of them are sitting down to dinner-- pizza again; one of them should probably cook sometime this week, but Lois and Clark are both on deadlines-- when Clark asks Danny more about his adoptive family, the ones he grew up with.

He looks sad, the way he always does whenever his adoptive parents come up.   Lois can hardly blame him, when he lost them in such a sudden and traumatic way.  

"They're scientists," Danny says.  "Or they were.  They studied, um, the Ghost Zone and the things that live there.  They didn't really understand it at first-- they thought all the-- um, everything from there was evil and needed to be killed, but they learned they were wrong eventually."

Lois meets Clark's eyes and knows he is as concerned about what happened before that 'eventually' as she is.  Still, neither of them comment, not wanting Danny to clam up again..

Jon, however, has no such reservations.  "That's really messed up."

Danny shrugs.  "Yeah, kind of.  They came around, though.  And I think they blamed themselves for how bad the GIW got because they were the ones who designed the weapons."

"The GIW?" Lois asks, instead of what she really wants to know, which is: Your adoptive parents designed weapons to be used against beings from another dimension??? Did they know what you were? 

"Guys in White," Danny says.  "I don't think that was their real name, but they were from the government."

"Your parents built weapons for them?" Clark asks, his tone deceptively light.  "I thought they were scientists."

"They dabbled in a lot of things.  But they were fantastic engineers."  Danny segues into a story about some of the modifications his adoptive parents made to their car, which is a topic only slightly better for Lois's heart.

Later that night, Lois is sitting in bed, checking her emails on her phone, when Clark sits down next to her and turns on the white noise machine they keep on the nightstand.  (It's the only way to have private conversations when your child-- children-- have super-hearing.)

"I'm concerned about Danny," he says.

"No shit."  The more Danny tells them about the dimension he grew up in, the more Lois hates it.  "But there's nothing we can do now except be there for him."

"I know people who have traveled across dimensions, you know," Clark says.  "I could always ask for a favor."

"You won't," Lois says.  "Because if you do, I'm going to end up committing felonies in another dimension."  

Clark smiles humorlessly. "What makes you think I wouldn't be there with you?"

"Because you're a better person than I am."  Clark never believes her when she says that, but it's true.  Clark is a fundamentally good person.  Lois tries to be a good person, but there's a reason she's not a superhero.  

-----

Kon intended to stop by Metropolis several days ago.  Or at least call Clark back.  But he’d gotten sidetracked by an earthquake in Southeast Asia, and then by Dr Light causing problems in California.  

He gets a few hours of sleep back in Smallville, then remembers that he’d planned on dropping by Metropolis and meeting Danny days before.  He walks the last few blocks to Lois and Clark’s house— flying would be way too noticeable in their neighborhood— and lets himself in.  He walks up to the living room and spots Lois there, furiously typing on her laptop.  

Kon is man enough to admit, at least within his own head, that Lois kind of intimidates him. Sure, Clark is physically stronger, but there’s an intensity to Lois that Clark lacks.  She glances up at Kon, and even though she’s smiling, he still feels pinned under her gaze.  

Kon shifts uncomfortably, reminds himself that unless he turns into a corrupt businessman or something, he’s not actually in danger from Lois Lane.  

“You here to see Danny?” she asks.

“Yeah.”  Kon shoves his hands in his jacket pockets.  “I figured I should probably meet him.”

“He’s in his room,” Lois says.  “He’s not… It’s not a good day, but maybe he’ll talk to you.  He hasn’t exactly gotten the chance to be around anyone his own age since he showed up.”

Kon knocks on the door to Danny’s room.  

“Come in,” a voice calls from inside.

Kon’s first thought is that he looks more like Clark than Danny does.  Stupid; of course he does.  He’s Clark’s clone.  But then, Jon resembles Clark almost as strongly as Kon does, so maybe it wasn’t a completely stupid thought.

Danny is sprawled on his stomach across his bed, phone in his hand.  There’s a video playing on it— someone talking about the history of the Justice League— but he’s ignoring it, watching Kon with a wary expression.  The room is still as bland as it ever was; other than the clothes tossed haphazardly on the floor, there’s no sign a teenage boy lives here.

“I’m guessing you’re Kon?” 

“That’s me.”  They stare at each other awkwardly for a moment.  

“Have you actually seen any of Metropolis, or have you just been hanging out in here?” Kon asks.

“Lois took me shopping for some stuff,” Danny says.

“Okay, no,” Kon says.  “You have got to get out of this house.”  

“You don’t even live in Metropolis,” Danny says.  

Kon shrugs. “Doesn’t matter; I’ve spent more time here than you.” There’s an old-school arcade he’s been to a handful of times, and a couple of places to eat.  Anything has got to be better than Danny hanging out and brooding in this sad bedroom by himself.

It's a warm day outside.  The sun shines down on the two of them as they walk in near-silence toward downtown.  The awkward silence doesn't quite break until they're at the arcade, competing on an old racing game.  

"I don't think we have this one in my dimension.  The other dimension.  Whatever."  Danny says.

"Yeah?"  Kon speeds ahead of Danny in the game, just in time to cross the finish line.  Danny groans.

"Yeah, but this world doesn't seem to have Doomed, either," Danny says as they start another race.  "There's a lot of little differences like that."

"That's gotta be weird," Kon says.  

"Yeah, Clark kind of freaked out when I told him the sun there was red."

Yeah, Kon can see why.  They talk more as they play more video games, and Danny tells Kon about his friends and what they'd do when they were hanging out in his hometown of Amity Park.  The main people he talks about are his best friends, Sam and Tucker, and his older sister, Jazz, but he mentions a few others.  

"Wait, who is Ellie again?" Kon asks, after Danny shares a story about a prank she pulled on another kid at Danny's school.  They've left the arcade, and are hanging out at the diner a few blocks away.  It's not the coolest place-- in fact, it looks like a grandmother decorated it-- but Clark introduced Kon to it, and it has great food.

"Oh, I didn't tell you?" Danny asks.  "She's my clone."

Kon chokes a little on his soda.  "You have a clone?"

-----

Danny is probably being paranoid.

Scratch that, he's definitely being paranoid. Lois and Clark have been nothing but nice, and they're clearly used to weird things happening. Like, even aside from the whole alien superhero thing, Lois just saw a kid fall out of a portal and decided to help?  Plus, Clark is an actual superhero.  

Even his— the Fentons came around on the whole “ghost powers” thing.  Eventually.  But he’s gotten used to hiding, to trying to blend in.  

(And what had them accepting him done for them in the end?  They’re dead, the GIW killed them.)

He’d rather hide than suddenly discover that Lois and Clark aren’t cool with their long-lost son being half dead.

Some of his powers he can pass off as Kryptonian— super strength, flight, enhanced senses.  He knows Lois saw his ghost form, and though she hasn’t asked about it, he’s pretty sure it’s just a matter of time.  

These thoughts circle through his mind over and over, only leaving him temporarily when he’s hanging out with the Lane-Kents.  

His bio family.  

That’s not much better, though; there’s a sadness in Lois and Clark’s eyes whenever they look at him, although they try to hide it.  Jon just a kid, and clearly doesn’t know what to make of the whole situation.  Lois keeps saying they are going to introduce him to more people, especially people his own age, but Danny shies away from that.  He doesn’t want to meet more people.  He doesn’t want to get comfortable here.

Still, he’s glad he came out with Kon.  An afternoon of videogames and greasy food hasn’t solved any of his problems, but it’s a nice break, and Kon has already promised to introduce Danny to his friends— a whole team of teenage superheroes.

“I can’t get over how many heroes there are here,” Danny says.  “Like, why do you even need that many?”  Sure, it would have been nice to have some more backup when he was Phantom, but in this world there seems to be at least one superhero for every major city, plus some extra.

Kon shrugs. “Natural disasters, alien invasions, supervillains, street crime… No one can handle all of it.”

Out of all the things he’s encountered so far in this dimension, this might be Danny’s favorite.  Even more than the proven existence of aliens.  Back home, Amity Park needed Phantom, even if they hated him.  But the world here doesn’t need Phantom.  

It’s kind of freeing, and Danny hates it.  He doesn’t want to like anything about this dimension more than his own.  

Would it really be that bad?  You might be stuck here forever, a little voice inside his head whispers.  

He ignores it.

[tthoroughfare]

kerosene (part 3) // ellie williams

*･゜ﾟ･* summary: the one where it's her birthday.

*･゜ﾟ･* pairing: jackson!ellie x reader

*･゜ﾟ･* content: sfw. joel likes dad rock (of course) and so do you! (a little)

*･゜ﾟ･* length: 0.5k

this is part three of this series! find part one here

fun fact the stereophonics reference in this is all my dad's fault! when i was 13 we went on a roadtrip together and the only CD in his car was the graffiti on a train album because he forgot to bring any other music, so we just listened to it over and over. i was listening to that album for the first time as an adult around the same time i wrote this and just thought it was very joel and ellie of us... maybe she'd appreciate it. idk. anyway

after that, you get a lot closer again. even more so than before — although, it’s rare that you’re actually alone. you’re not sure if you’re thankful for it, or hate it. you tend to pass your time with jesse and dina, the foursome that temporarily drifted back in full swing.

it’s a lot of hanging out aimlessly, listening to music, watching movies — you spend most of your free time together, and it’s nice. you feel grateful for the friends you have, that in this fucked up world you ended up in relative safety, surrounded by people you genuinely get along with.

however, it also complicates things. while you love that you and ellie are closer than ever, you hate how much it makes your feelings develop. you feel like there’s more at stake, now. if you were to tell her how you feel and it wasn’t mutual, you don’t even want to think how it would mess up your friendship. mess the group up.

so, you keep it to yourself. you go through the motions: spending time together, trying not to read into every little thing. trying not to let your eyes linger on her. trying not to sit too close to her, or laugh too hard at her shitty fucking jokes.

for her birthday, you make her a mixtape. you try and act nonchalant about it, but don’t tell anyone the way you painstakingly went through your entire music collection, imagining ellie listening to it, picking out the songs you think she’d like the most. all in all, it takes you a good while to put together. you make a cover for it, too, covered in little doodles, ‘for ellie :)’ written in the middle.

you get shy giving it to her. it’s later on in the day, and several of you are having a small gathering for the occasion. you pass it over with a coy smile, reveling in the way her face lights up once she realizes what it is.

“wait, what the fuck?” she asks with a grin, turning the tape around to look at the tracklist you’d written out.

“i tried to pick stuff i thought you’d listen to,” you comment, flitting your eyes between ellie and your present, hand nervously coming up to scratch at your neck.

“dude, this is… so cool. seriously. this is the best gift ever.”

you shrug, meeting her eyes for a second with a warm smile, watching as jesse picks the tape from ellie’s fingers, studying the cover before showing it to dina. the two of them let out teasing awws, making your cheeks burn even more. the way that dina looks at you feels almost knowing.

it gets passed around the room, you wanting to sink into the floor at the way you feel a small spectacle is being made.

you take note of the way joel smiles lopsidedly at the doodled cover, saying, “that’s a good one,” tapping the title of a stereophonics song you’d included.

ellie stands up, snatching the tape back with a chuckle before sitting down and looking over the cover again herself, a content expression on her face. she looks over at you, meeting your eyes with a genuine smile. 

“thank you,” she says, holding the gift up. “this is… this is so awesome of you.”

your smile widens, and you can practically feel the affection in your gaze. you know you need to tone it down, but you don’t really care. “don't mention it.”

[crushh-existz]

Hot & Heavy (1)

childhoodbestfriend!ellie x reader

Word Count: 1.4k

Synopsis: Before you went to university in NYC, you and your childhood bestfriend, Ellie, had a pretty messy fight and haven't talked since. Dina convinced you to move back to Jackson after you graduated to get some work just until you can settle down in a nearby city. You needed the money while you soft-launched your photograghy business and you missed your friends and family anyway. Dina swears up and down that Ellie moved away years ago and you were stupid enough to trust her.

Warnings: cursing (more to come probably..), NOT PROOFREAD, men dni

1 Month Prior…

"Calm down babes, like I said, she moved out of Joel's like two years ago!" You sighed into your phone as you held it to your ear.

"I dunno Dina... Even if she's not in town, what if I bump into Joel? Like would he think I'm just this evil monster who's praying on his family's downfall??" Dina scoffed on the other side of the line.

"You're actually hopeless oh my god. No way you're saying this to me right now."

"UH-? You never can be to cautious." You could feel her eyes rolling through the phone.

"Trust me you're fine. Besides, Joel has been out a lot lately. He's always down at the lake hunting, even I have barely seen him." You sat silent for a moment, shifting on the metal bench of the bus stop. "I miss you girl, everything will be okay. I can't wait to see you home, JJ has been waiting for you too!"

You sighed. "Yeah... You're right. How's JJ been?"

"Great actually! Jesse's parents have been helping me a lot actually. He actually started preschool a week ago." You couldn't help yourself from smiling to yourself.

“Really? Oh my god is he already that old…” Dina laughed into the phone and replied with a 'mhmm'. You sigh before looking up and finding the city bus sitting just before you. "Shit- I gotta go the bus just got here. Bye girl- I'll see you in a bit."

11.09 6:26 A.M. - Your POV

It's been a few weeks since you got back to Jackson. If you're completely honest, being back here made you hot in the face. It was nostalgic really seeing old townsfolk and you didn't realize how much you actually missed all of them. Thankfully no signs of Joel or Ellie. You did see Maria and the market but it didn't seem like she saw you.

You sighed, laying your head onto your desk. You've been editing photos from a recent trip to the lake with Dina for the past half an hour now and finally got the lighting to look how you wanted. You checked the time and cursed under your breath once you realized your first shift at the local cafe you applied to was starting soon. You slid your headphones over your ears to go get ready.

11.09 7:16 A.M. - Ellie's POV

Ellie sighed as she trudged behind Joel going to get his morning coffee before he would drag her out to hunt. She didn't really enjoy the idea of spending hours in the mountain snow staring at some animals until he finally choose one to make into his next meal.

"Y'know there's a grocery store across the street I can just grab some meat-"

"Kiddo, some time in your lifetime you need to learn patience and what better example than hunting?"

"I just-"

Ellie was cut off by Joel walking up to the register and ordering his classic black coffee. Ellie really couldn't understand how he could drink that crap but who was she to judge anyway. She adjusted her backpack on her shoulders as she looked around the cozy shop. She didn't drop by often due to her lack of reason to. Just occasionally when Dina requests or when Joel needs her to pick up his order before he goes out to work.

She noticed small things like the fairy lights hung over the bathroom door and the small vines adorning the walls of the small shop. She also watched the workers as she zoned out the bustling of the people in the shop. Her eyes drifted from the man taking Joel's order to the girl standing before the glass display and taking photos of small pastries. She lingered her gaze on her, watching her focus on what she seems to be doing, which also made her look like a huge creep but she really couldn't tear her attention away and she couldn't figure out why.

She brushed it off as she pried her eyes away and follows Joel out of the cafe with his now acquired coffee. They left with a chime of the entrance door and started walking to Joel's pick-up.

"Hey kiddo, was that who I thought it was?" Joel asks before he takes an audible sip of his coffee. Ellie thinks about his question for a little ask she adjusted her leather jacket that she borrowed (permanently stole) from him.

“Mmm… What do you mean?” Frosty puffs of air float about as she asks him, reaching behind her to grab her water bottle from the side of her backpack she wore.

“That looked like that one friend you never seem to talk about anymore. Few years ago she was all you seemed to talk about. Never remembered her name though..” Joel seemed to ponder while the gears turned inside of poor Ellie’s brain as she brought the bottle to her mouth and just started to take a sip of her drink.

Realization hit her like a bus once she got to the passanger door of Joel's pickup, stopping in her tracks and starting to choke on her fail attempt at drinking. Joel looked at her confused and a bit worried.

"...Kiddo? You alright..?" Joel asked with furrowed brows as he peered over at her over the top of the pickup, basically just the messy auburn peaking over. She hastily got into the truck chucking her backpack into the footwell of the car. As he followed suit he watched as she messily wiped her face.

"... Yup- Just.. Went down the wrong pipe." He shrugged it off as he pushed the key into the ignition and decided to drop it.

"Whatever you say kid."

11.09 8:12 A.M - Your POV

Work was slow today, which you understood since you assumed finals were creeping up on students. That was one thing you do NOT miss since graduating and you're glad to be free from such hell. While your coworker was out in the front making sure to serve the few customers that did sprinkle in, you were in the back looking over the product photos your boss requested to take. Yes, it was for free, but it would be good for reference for future clients. Baby steps, was what you were telling yourself.

As you looked over them, you actually found yourself proud your work! Maybe you could fix the lighting a bit-- But nothing Adobe Workshop couldn't fix! You did accidentally catch some customers in the back of some photos but you could just easily cut them out.

While looking over one particular photo you took of a small coffee cup, steam visibly exiting the top of the cup, camera panned towards to the front glass door to get a blurred affect of two customers. She didn't realize she captured them in the moment but she saw a tall older man with a young woman beside him. They had their backs turned, exiting the cafe as he sipped his newly brewed coffee.

Funny how they looked familiar.

09/11 9:57 A.M. - Ellie's POV

The whole car ride Ellie was quiet other than shortened responses to Joel's lecturing on a subject she couldn't quite remember. As her thoughts raced it felt like hot blood pulsing in her veins, heavy memories weighing on her brain. Really, she thought she would never see your face ever again after everything she said to you. She really didn't understand why it took her so long to recognize you. Maybe it was the way you seemed a lot less scared of the world, the way you comfortable took up more space like you knew you belonged. Maybe it was the loose curls you let adorn the frame of your face, the curls she remembers you burning to a crisp just to be straight.

"It's so hard to maintain, does it look like I have that type of time?" Was what you would quip back whenever Ellie had pleaded to let your natural hair show at least once. She always thought it was pretty and suited you better than the straight hair people have bullied you into wearing in high school.

Joel snapped her out of her endless thinking by stopping the car, signaling they have arrived. Joel looked over to her as he pulled the keys out of the ignition. "Ready?"

Ellie replied with a small 'mhmm' before grabbing her bag and stepping out of the pick up.

11.09 2:43 P.M - Ellie's POV

—

A/N: LAWDDD omg i forgor about this until moot told me to hurry tf up... THERES GONNA BE MULTIPLE PARTS cuz lowk.. forgor what i was doing with this but trust ill figure it out. I DOUBT THERES GONNA BE MORE THAN 5 PARTS. i hope i did okay cuz lowk never done this b4.... OKAY BYE HOPE YOU LIKED ITTT lemme know what to improve on bc trust i need it...

Inspired by the lyrics of this song!! (the song's meaning is nowhere near what this fic is abt but it's just how I thought abt it..)

[everydayyoulovemeless]

FO4 companions attempting to give Sole a haircut but they fuck it up really bad? I just got back from a horrible hairdresser visit and I need the cope

Fo4 Companions Accidentally Giving Sole A Bad Haircut

➼ Word Count » 0.8k ➼ Warnings » None ➼ Genre » Platonic/Romantic, Hurt/Comfort? ➼ A/N » It's been a few months since you've requested this so I'm praying you're feeling better now!

You know MacCready messed something up when he begins chuckling nervously, rests a shaky hand on your shoulder, and starts talking way more than usual. He tries to stall you looking in the mirror for as long as possible but, when you eventually do, he’s biting his fist in awkwardness. He won’t lie, this is not his best work, but he never promised perfection. Nevertheless, he feels awful for what he’s done and will let you wear his hat to cover it until it grows back.

Nick will tell you flat out when he messes it up. He'll sigh apologetically, saying he should've just waited to have Ellie cut it or, I don't know, taking you to Kathy and John's Super Salon, right across the street from his agency. He doesn't do anything more to it and takes you straight to the salon to see if you can't salvage it. He feels awful about it, and will never touch your hair again.

Cait knows she isn't going to do a good job with it, but she doesn't tell you that and agrees to cut it anyway. Normally, when she wants to cut her hair, she'll just take any shape object she can get a hold of and start chopping away, and that's exactly what she does with you. She'll sit you down, pull out a pocket knife, and slice whole chunks off at a time. The worst part is that she's got no shame in it.

Preston will gasp quietly and cover his mouth with his hand. He refuses to move and will just stand there, completely still until you ask him what's wrong. He doesn't even know where to begin telling you how badly he's messed up and will instead, just apologize, rest his hands on the back of your shoulders, and rub reassuring circles into them with his thumbs. There are plenty of generals who don't have good hair! Nothing to fret over!

Codsworth will let out a silent 'Oh dear' and turn his buzzsaw off. Eventually, he'll begin reminding you of a separate time when you'd come back from the barber with you're hair all fucked, before explaining that he did exactly that. He tries to be light-hearted about it, but he's just as devastated as you are, possibly even more. He's a Mr. Handy, for Godsake! And he can't even do the basics!

Piper isn't even subtle about it. She'll just immediately begin comparing it to Atomites she's met through investigative journalism. She'll tell you that she's just giving you the 'wasteland special' and you shouldn't feel too upset about it. There are loads of people with this style! So, cheer up! It'll grow back!

Curie doesn't even realize she's messed anything up. In her opinion, any hairstyle any person has looks good. She doesn't quite understand the emotional attachment many people have toward it and just cuts it really short to help with mobility and whatnot. When you explain it to her, however, she starts to feel really guilty and will apologize nonstop.

Strong will just shave you bald. Now you look like him! What's there to be upset over? No support whatsoever from him.

Hancock will also just cut it with his knife, although, he's a lot more sympathetic than Cait. He'll hug you out of remorse and tell you it could be worse. You could be a ghoul and have no hair at all! Look at him! He can't even grow hair anymore so, don't feel too bad about it, alright?

Deacon will immediately fall to the ground in a squat, head in his hands as he simultaneously tries not to laugh or cry. He's cut his own hair so many times before with no issue - he cuts everyone in the Railroad's hair! - and it shatters him to know that he messed up on a craft he thought he perfected. He's supposed to be good at this! After a moment, he'll stand again and find you a wig in his collection for you to keep until your hair grows back. At least now the two of you can be wig buddies? Yay?

X6-88 will hum in defeat when he's messed it up before saying that he told you you should've gone to someone who actually knows how to cut hair. He can't comfort you for shit and probably just blames you for asking for help from someone who can't cut hair.

Old Longfellow knows how to cut hair. So, if he's messed it up, it means he was drunk. But, hey! Now you have a story to tell the folks at The Last Plank! So, he'll take you straight there so you can, hopefully, drink it off and laugh with the other regulars about it. No harm done!

Gage will tell you straight out that he's fucked it up badly, but he's not that concerned with it. If you seem upset, he'll just shrug and tell you it's not as bad as some of the other raiders in this place. If it bothers you that much, though, he'll get you a helmet for you to wear for the time being. It's safer for you anyway.

[ange1heavensent]

Joel “meeting” you for the first time

:｡.｡:+* ﾟ ゜ﾟ *+:｡.｡:+* ﾟ ゜ﾟ *+:｡.｡.｡:+*ﾟ ゜ﾟ *+:｡.｡:

Pairing: ellie williams x fem!reader

w/c: ≈ 680

:｡.｡:+* ﾟ ゜ﾟ *+:｡.｡:+* ﾟ ゜ﾟ *+:｡.｡.｡:+*ﾟ ゜ﾟ *+:｡.｡:

It was dark outside when Ellie awoke to adamant knocks on her front door. However she refused to get up, first of all she could sense that it was way too early for someone to be bothering her, secondly the bed was warm and cozy with the extra body beside her, lying beneath the covers. But the knocks continued to echo through her garage and she felt you stir and lightly shake her mumbling  “Ellie someones at the door.” She could no longer ignore the person who was disturbing her sleep and begrudgingly walked towards the front door, rubbing her face and hand combing through her hair, trying to look somewhat presentable for the madman who was knocking at this hour. 

She turned on the porch light and moved the small curtain in front of the glass window on the door. On the other side of the glass stood Joel. She sighed and opened the door, her hand scratching her neck, a little embarrassed of the state she was in. “What’s up?” she asked, “There’ve been some report of infected up north, Maria is sending us out to scout.” “Alright..” Ellie sighed, “come in, I don’t want it to get cold inside.” Joel stepped through the door and stood awkwardly in front of it when he realized there was someone in Ellie’s bed. Ellie had made her way towards your side of the bed, stroking your hair and softly repeating and filling you in on the situation. After the brief conversation Ellie made her way to her closet and awkwardly glanced at Joel, who she kind of had forgotten was there. “Just gonna go change” she said as she hurriedly made her way to the bathroom and quickly shut the door. 

“Hi, Joel” you greeted him as you sat up in bed, covers wrapped around you. “Hi, Y/n” he replied back, at least it was someone he recognised, since you were one of Ellie’s friends. You smiled, trying to ease the awkwardness of the situation and offered to make something to eat, trying to do something, anything,  that wasn't sitting in Ellie’s bed. But he answered that he had already eaten. The uncomfortable atmosphere of the room was broken when Ellie yelled from the bathroom “Why couldn’t Tommy go with you?” “Maria wouldn’t let him, he’s got a cold” Joel yelled back. 

“I'm ready, ” Ellie said as she walked out of the bathroom. “Are you not going to eat anything?” You said as Ellie walked towards the front door. “I’m fine, baby” she replied, the term of endearment slipping out of habit. “Can you atleast grab a sandwich or something?” you retaliated. “I’ll be alright, okay” she spoke softly, Joel had already made it outside, while Ellie was tying her shoelaces and having the conversation with you. Ellie pushed the door closed, leaving Joel standing outside, while she walked towards you and playfully crawled up the bed placing kisses on your face. You giggled as you grabbed Ellie’s face placing one last kiss on her lips before whispering “be safe, you better come back in one piece, okay” Ellie lightly tucked some of stray hair behind your ear, while with a smile on her face saying “I won’t even get a scratch, I promise.” Then she climbed out of bed and quickly left, with a bye, hoping that she hadn’t left Joel standing outside for too long. 

He was standing further away than she had anticipated and lightly jogged towards him. When she was walking by his side Joel asked “Is Y/n your girlfriend?” “yeah, kind of” Ellie shrugged, “why only kind of?” Joel chuckled, “Well I haven't officially asked her.” Ellie said, while glancing at him. She could see a small smile tugging at Joel’s lips before he said “Well, I think you should.” “So you're okay with it?” Ellie asked, trying to ease her nervousness. “Does she make you happy?” Joel answered. “Yeah” Ellie said, now trying to act nonchalant about it, when Joel said “Well, then I am okay with it,” looking at Ellie. 

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Thank you for reading! If you liked this fic, check out my masterlist for more :)

[colorfulwastelandvoid]

“Love is the easiest thing in the world when it happens on accident, but it doesn’t get real until you do it on purpose”- Ellie; Entergalatic

I have already started to examine both Jayce and Mel as individual characters and will continue to do so. I find that it is important to examine the characters in the ship as separate entities just as much as the ship itself, because they do and should exist out of it. Okay now that this disclaimer is out the way:

MelJay is a ship defined not by what they can do together but in the quieter moments that they have for each other. Time and time again we see them seek comfort in each other whenever the other is in emotional pain. I do believe that ship started off based more on lust, I mean look at them. The relationship doesn’t start to shift until the night they hook up the first time after the opera. In the quiet moment of Jayce, ever the lover boy who wears his heart on his sleeve, talks to Mel about his love of magic and desire to help people. We see him look at Mel with this soft look in his eyes, a look of vulnerability. We then see Mel thanks Jayce for the opportunity to actually give back to the world, something she has been striving for. It is a first for her family. They make love and all during the scene we see that Mel is looking at Jayce like he is truly her whole world. Mel’s eyes are usually more angular and sharp but in this scenes and more to come when she is emotionally open they are big and more soft. It is really highlighted in the scene where she notices Jayce is not in bed. After that while Mel is ever composed her anger and hurt seeps out when talking to Jayce when he shows up to her place to apologize. Her answers are short; she is not looking at him and there is none of the familiar touches that we have grown to see these two share. As Jayce explains why he left we see these two sharpness of Mel’s eye soften again realizing that he is being genuine. When Jayce puts his head in his lap we see the shock and the return of the care in Mel’s eyes. As they touch Mel begins finds to find strength to start to share the more shameful (in her eyes) parts of herself. As Jayce reassures her that she is enough we see the sadness in her eyes not really believing in herself but also the start of her love of him. It is there that the relationship to become real. It goes from stolen glances, little touches to hand holding and emotional vulnerability. From this point forward we see these characters start to shift slightly.

Hextech is very important to Jayce. It is his life’s dream it’s implied that he spends most of his time in the lab, and he gives up time in the lab with it to be with Mel. She is that important to him. Hextech the light in his eye , the burning in his soul and he makes time/ find a way to be with her.

Mel holds a lot of things close to the chest. She is emotionally stunted(in my humblest opinion) she just more subdued about it. Hence any big show of emotion is a big deal. We only ever see this twice and both involve Jayce. The first time she damn near growls at Ambessa after realizing she has been messing with Jayce. This seemingly catches Ambessa off guard as well calling out her daughter’s feelings toward him.

We see this reliance on each other throughout the later half of the season. Even when they don’t listen(cough Jayce). That’s why the end of season 1 was the pinnacle of their relationship cementing it in each other’s eyes forever. “… I don’t give a sh*t about what any of you think of me anymore ( looks at Mel). Except you, You were right. You were always right” Jayce says this as he looks t Mel with a soft look in his eyes as he slightly smirk. Mel returns this look with one of soft surprise not because of his feelings toward her but because he has always affirmed her more soft idealist ways and this time she might actually believe him too. It is this reason why that this last scene in season 1 is the most romantic scene in the whole series. The season long development of both characters coming to fruition. His faith in her and in turn her faith in him as she takes off the Medarda ring and sides with Jayce and Viktor for peace. Finally being able to believe that diplomacy can overcome war. Jayce realizing that not everything is for him to personally fix.

I’m going to be 100% honest, I love MelJay. It was the only ship in the arcane series that I actually cared for ( I still like the other ones). I’m a sucker for the jaded x idealist trope. It eats every time! The way this particular trope has the characters grow as individuals and as a couple always get me. I mean yall can’t relate to being dead inside (jaded) or hoping against all odds ( idealist).

Listen at the end of the day, love is both a feeling and an action word. Anyone can fall in love but to BE in love takes work. It takes both to have faith and find strength in the vulnerability in one another. Whether MelJay was meant to last or not it should not be understated how much strength one another found in each other. I mean Jayce’s lasts words to Mel was acknowledgement of her strength and perseverance something he found comfort in. It was a testament to above all else Mel is a force of nature, that man believed in her with his whole heart (look at the voice lines from arcane survivor Jayce to Mel). To discredit that is to discredit both of these characters.

ps sorry for such a long post. I still have more to say about this ship but it’ll definitely be for smaller posts. Thanks to those who just skimmed and the people who read all the way through.

[pinkamour1588]

Firstprince Sticky Notes

I had the headcanon last night that Alex leaves and hides sticky notes all over their home. It starts when Henry is going through a depressive episode. Alex “breaks into” the brownstone. (He has a key. He just shows up uninvited and when Henry is sleeping or has managed to drag himself to work.) He puts sticky notes all over the brownstone with things that he loves about Henry, many of them come off the Incomplete List. After he sees how much Henry loves them, it becomes a thing. He starts putting the date on when he wrote the note. (Though they have a playful argument over the correct way to write the date.) He starts not only does he just stick the notes places like countertops and cabinets, he also hides them. He’ll stick one in the bottom of Henry’s sock drawer, under his laptop, inside his favorite mug, in the book Henry’s reading, in the pocket of his coat, etc. Alex takes it as a challenge to hide them as well as he can. He hides one so well that Henry doesn’t find it until they’re moving out of the brownstone. It’s dated as late Fall 2022. (As in, it’s been hidden for over three years.) It says something like “I love waking up next to you every morning. I want to do it for the rest of my life.”

Early on, they're pretty basic and just include things from the incomplete list or just say “I love you”. Over time, they become more elaborate. Some of the notes are quotes from historical love letters, like they had put in their emails. Some have song lyrics. Some have inside jokes. Some have reminders of things they’ve done together (spicy and not spicy). Some have puns Alex tries to make. The first time he stuck to Henry's favorite mug just has the description of how Henry likes his tea (how long he brews it, what he puts in his tea and how much, etc)

The notes also become color coded. 

Red is spicy things. 

Light yellow is things directly from the Incomplete List. 

Light blue is observations, like the tea or noting which sweater is Henry's favorite.

Hot pink is David related. 

Light pink is future pets. 

Purple/lavender is future child(ren)/fatherhood related. 

White is boring adulting (like reminders of appointments).

Novelty sticky notes (like taco shaped sticky notes) are mostly just “I love you” notes (written in glitter gel pen when Alex is feeling particularly extra). 

Of course, Henry eventually gets in on leaving sticky notes for Alex.* His are written on mint green sticky notes. (The date is written on those ones too.)

~~~

*This morning, I realized this is somewhat canon based on Casey’s Threads post...

Also tagging @starkfridays cause she contributed to the discussion of this headcanon (and it seems the wonderful other people--Ellie, Ishita, and Barghav--who also contributed don't have Tumblr).