#The way Ellie lights up when she realizes what he's saying.
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schmweed · 10 months ago
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joelsgu4tar · 7 months ago
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JOEL MILLER FIC RECS
⇾ 18+ minors DNI, read at your own risk! ⇽
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an appreciation to all my favourite writers out there you deserve all the love <3
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Series
— Something To Fight For by @auteurdelabre | After a disastrous blind date you decide to stay away from the miserable Joel Miller forever...
— I Know Who You Are by @punkshort | A fall on patrol causes you to lose your long-term memory, forgetting the identities of your friends and loved ones. You have to learn all over again how to survive in a post-apocalyptic world, and you learn things about yourself along the way.
— The One You Need by @loliwrites | When you move into town hellbent on keeping everyone at arm’s length, your neighbour Joel finds his way into your life.
— By The Grit Of Sandpaper by @penvisions | An offhand comment from you inspires Joel to branch out and create helpful kitchen wares. And it seems everyone has been gifted one from him, except for you. It makes you rethink the casual friendship you had developed...
— I Wanna Be Your Lover by @shellshocklove | Miserable after losing your job, your friend drags you out to a club to dance away your sadness. on the dancefloor, you meet a handsome stranger, who then whisks you away into his fantasy world as his assistant for his porn career. what happens when the lines get blurred?
— If The Door Wasn't Shut by @heartpascal | months of travelling with Joel and Ellie come crashing down on you, the fear is suffocating.
— Stay In Bed by @psychedelic-ink | After your grandfather’s passing, you find yourself moving into his home in Texas. You meet the Millers; Tommy, his older brother Joel and his daughter Sarah. With time, you and Tommy become close friends and Sarah visits you often. But Joel…Joel keeps his distance.
— That's A Real Fucking Legacy by @wyn-n-tonic | When Tommy disappears in search of a better life with a promise to come back for you, his years of absence and the grief it leaves behind drives you and his brother closer together until the man you're sharing a bed and starting a family with is Joel Miller and not the one you always thought it would be.
One-Shots
— No Time To Die by @davosmymaster | The main difficulty of being Joel’s closest friend is not falling in love with him, but you still do. Those feelings are buried until you join him on a mission to trade supplies with Bill and Frank. With your life now hanging by a thread, Joel is determined to get you to safety, but the clock is ticking faster than he can run.
— White Lies by @poeticpascal | Joel would do anything for you. He does anything for you. And he makes sure you don't know a thing.
— Saying Thanks by @vivwritescrappythings | Joel is your grumpy patrol partner who doesn’t even talk to you in the streets of Jackson. But one night a man grabs your arm at the Tipsy Bison, and Joel’s decided he doesn’t like it.
— Soft & Sweet by @cavillscurls | You share your first kiss with the last man you ever expected: your older, grouchy, overly protective patrol partner, Joel Miller.
— Who We Are by @gracieheartspedro | Being stuck on the road with an older guy you've been crushing on for ages won't be so bad, right? wrong. because he's been pining after you, too. and one of you will have to give in eventually.
— Warm Me Up by @tightjeansjavi | While on patrol, you and Joel find yourselves caught in a treacherous snowstorm.
— Love In the Time Of Cordyceps by @sameheart-sameblood | When the world ends, you promise you'll never love again. Joel Miller makes that rule hard to stick to.
— Puppy Love by @absurdthirst | You always follow Joel Miller around, you've got his back. You're in love with him. Putting up with Tess's nickname of puppy dog, you don't realize that Joel feels for you until the end.
— Light The Flame by @yeollie-plz | Your mom moves the two of you back to Texas and attempts to reignite an old flame. What will happen when she learns his candle now burns for you?
— Best I Ever Had by @endlessthxxghts | Someone tries to hit on you on your night out with Joel, insulting your man in the process, and oh you don't like that. You blow off some steam in more ways than one.
— Make A Move On Me by @freelancearsonist | You've been teasing Joel every day since he started remodelling construction on your house. He finally works up the courage to do something about it - but not in the way you expect him to.
— Fire Walk by @motherofagony | A chance encounter at a motel has you crossing paths with a stranger in a blue t-shirt.
— Cry Baby by @psychedelic-ink | bodies have been dropping left and right in the most brutal ways in Jackson. As the relentless wave of deaths continues, your mind becomes increasingly restless. however, you find a sense of comfort and solace in the presence of Joel. who might be hiding secrets of his own.
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hiiikiko · 1 month ago
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𝖈𝖆𝖚𝖌𝖍𝖙 𝖎𝖓 𝖞𝖔𝖚𝖗 𝖜𝖊𝖇
[1: spider-man’s more awkward than i thought..”]
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spiderman!ellie x reader | tlou m.list
synopsis: ellie is in your biology class, she’s the quiet teachers assistant, who also happens to double as your agency’s part time photographer, but you notice that lately she’s been acting strange..
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You never really noticed her before, to you, she was just the nerdy TA and your agency’s assistant photographer but right now, you needed her to be your saviour. You were failing your biology class, a side effect of how many modelling gigs you’ve picked up to pay your tuition but what good was paying your tuition if you couldn’t even pass your classes? That’s how you ended up practically begging Ellie to tutor you.
“God, please, Williams,” you sighed, taking her hand in yours, “I’ll do anything! I’ll even pay you or I could speak to the agency—.”
“I-it’s fine, Y/l/n, I can do it,” she pried her hand out of yours and nodded, “Just put in a good word with your boss, yeah?”
You practically jump when she says that, “Oh thank you, thank you so much! Um, do you have my number?”
Ellie bashfully nods, “Uh, yeah, I have all the model’s numbers..”
You nod, “Okay, cool! Let’s meet at my place tonight, yeah? Maybe around 6? I’ll send you the location and the door code.”
Ellie straightens up, “Uhh.. can’t do six.. can we do it earlier? Maybe 4..?”
She looks a little nervous about asking, her eyebrows are furrowed and she’s staring into your eyes, anxiously waiting for your response, “Oh.. yeah that’s cool!”
With that, you go your separate ways.
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
At your apartment, you prep it for your visitor, shoving your clothes into your laundry hamper, putting out some snacks, straightening up your ‘living room,’ it wasn’t really a living room, given that you lived in a small studio apartment, it was really just a corner of your apartment with a couch, rug, and coffee table. Come on, it was New York and you’re a college student! This is as good as it’ll get for now.
Just as you’re folding a blanket, you hear a thud against the glass door leading out to your balcony. Just as you’re about to take a step towards it to inspect it.. ding dong! You jump a bit, forgetting all about the peculiar sound and making your way towards your front door. Peaking through the peephole, you see Ellie, she’s awkwardly rubbing the back of her neck, camera bag resting on her shoulder and her bangs messily in her face.
“Hey,” you smile and open the door to let her in, “Uh, make yourself at home.”
“T-thanks,” she nods, taking off her shoes and putting her bag down, “Nice place you got.. very, uh, homey. Oh, you a fan of Spider-man?” She nods at the Spider-Man poster on your wall and the Spider-Man t-shirt you’re wearing.
You giggle at her attempt at making small talk, “Thanks, can I get you anything? Water.. soda.. tea..? And, yeah, I know it’s kinda ‘fan girly’ of me but he’s just so fuckin’ cool, y’know? ”
“I’ll take a water,” she sits down on your couch, she looks really tired, not sleepy tired but she looks like she just fought Captain America.
“Shall we get started,” you place the glass in front of her and sit on the floor, the fluffy rug underneath aiding as a cushion, she nods and the two of you get to work.
The first few tutoring sessions went just like that, they were stiff and awkward but eventually, you realized that Ellis isn’t just a nerd that occasionally takes your pictures, she’s also really funny and is actually a really good teacher, she’s patient but doesn’t treat you like you’re dumb. She talks you through the formulas and makes sure you understand each chapter by quizzing you. She’s actually not awkward about this after all, she seems confident when she’s talking about cells. Watching her is nice, her eyes light up when she gets to a chapter that she is obviously interested in and a small smile falters on her lips. You never really realized it before but not only is she really smart, she’s also REALLY hot. Like, the way her veiny arms l flex when she reaches over for her glass of water, the veins flexing under her tattoo, the way she gazes at you through her eyelashes, and her smirk when she gently teases you for getting a problem wrong.
On one particular tutoring session, the rain pattered heavy against the thin glass on your balcony doors, creating a serene, almost cozy atmosphere. You and Ellie were sitting close together on the floor, a thick textbook resting on the coffee table in front of you, you could feel her breath against your neck and her voice was deep and raspy, almost like she’d been out in the rain earlier, and—
“Hey, you with me?” Ellie waves a hand in front of your face, “Hm, maybe we should stop here for now, yeah? It’s getting la— shit, it’s 7?!”
Your expression fell at the thought of her leaving, so you thought ‘fuck it’ as you decided to try and get her to ‘sleep over.’
Ellie scrambled to get on her feet, grabbing her bag and putting her battered converse on, “Oh, you’re leaving? But it’s pouring out there, wanna spend the night?” You graze her arm with your hand, you know it’s wrong to wanna sleep with your TA and your coworker but.. it had been so long since you got any.. and shit, how could you stop yourself now? You could feel her lean muscles underneath her baggy jacket.. you had no idea she even worked out.
Ellie’s eyes flicker to your hand, almost like she was considering it, “S-sorry.. I really gotta go, see ya Friday, yeah?”
And before you could say anything else to try and convince her to stay, she was out the door and you could hear her footsteps echoing down the stairwell.
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“The nerve that girl has!” You throw your hands up, “She didn’t even consider it.. I mean, look at me! An up and coming model offers you the night of her life, you say yes!”
Your friends nod in agreement, “I just don—.” Just as you’re about to make another comment, you see Ellie come into the lecture hall, a band-aid on her eyebrow, ouch. What in the world could have happened between 7 p.m. and this morning?
Your friends turn to see what’s got your tongue, then one of them speaks up, “Haven’t you heard? She is always getting weird scratches.. a guy in my last class said that she tends to get in a lot of fights, crazy, right?”
Ellie gets into fights? You scoff at the idea, no way, she’s the most gentle person you know, you can barely feel her touch when she adjusts your hair during shoots, besides she’s way too awkward, you can imagine her trying to talk herself out of a beating, no way. Right?
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During that night’s tutoring session, you ask her about the bandaid, “Oh,” her hand darts to her forehead, “This? I, uh, got it when I fell off my skateboard..”
Convincing enough, right? But the tone in which she said it betrayed her statement, damn, she was a shitty liar.
“Hm,” you hum, still not completely convinced.
Ellie’s eyes rest on yours for a moment before going back to this week’s chapter. Usually, you could focus pretty well but right now all you wanted was to ask her more about the cut, right as you’re about to bug her again, she interrupts you with a question of her own. “Hey, uh, are you booked for that shoot on Sunday?”
You can tell she’s trying her best to act as nonchalant as possible but the way she’s nervously tapping her pencil against the textbook, the way her teeth gently bite her soft pink lips, and the way her eyes look like a deer caught in headlights betray her rather calm tone.
“Yeah, didn’t Regina tell you? She booked me a few weeks ago, something about how they want a ‘fresh young face’ or whatever,” you on the other hand, have mastered the art of being nonchalant, your voice calm and your eyes never leaving the paper of your textbook.
“R-really?” Ellie looks like a puppy who’s owner just shook a bag of treats before forgetting she’s supposed to be feign the whole ‘mysterious loner’ shtick, “I mean, uh, cool, cool. I’m gonna be there too, so, uh.. yeah.”
“Mhm,” the rest of the night carries on like nothing happened, Ellie continues teaching and you continue ‘listening,’ which was a little hard because your eyes kept drifting to her eyebrows again.
There’s something about her that you just don’t get.. if those rumours are true, which you highly doubt because look at her, she’s smiling while talking about RNA… be so for real right now, there’s no way BUT if it is true, why is she so gentle? Sure, she’s clumsy but her personality, she’s not hostile, hell, she blushes whenever you graze her hand. You know how the rumour mill works and it doesn’t just churn out baseless rumours, most have some kind of truth to them, so, how did someone make one about Ellie being so violent, you wonder.
“Uh, Y/n?” Ellie’s eyes move towards the balcony doors, “Can you, uh, please stop staring? You’re making me nervous..”
Your face erupts in a blush, the sweet red colour creeping up your neck, coating your ears, and finally, sweeping over your face, “S-sorry, just spaced out.. haven’t been getting much sleep, you know?”
Ellie nods, “Yeah.. I get it.. neighbours arguing a lot ‘nd stuff, right?”
You nod before realizing, “I never told you that.”
Ellie lets out a forced chuckle, “Uh, you did! Well, you didn’t tell me directly, just heard you say it… God, please believe me, I’m not stalking you, I just heard you say in passing, I swe—. Um. I should go, it’s getting late..”
“Huh, it’s only 6..?” You stand up with her, hoping she doesn’t leave so soon.
“Sorry, but I really should—?”
You grab onto her bulky jacket, tugging on the sleeve a bit, causing it to slip down her shoulder a bit and reveal her shirt underneath, huh, it looked like…
“Hey,” she blurts out and straightens out her jacket, “Wh—?”
“Oh my god, is that a spider-man tshirt?” You jump up, a smile creeping onto your face.
Ellie is washed with relief, “Uh, yeah! Gotta love the, uh, the guy, right?”
Nodding you say, “Totally! You should’ve said something sooner, I’m like his biggest fan, I even have an, allegedly, signed poster of him!”
Ellie’s ears burn bright, “R-really? Can I see it?”
You scramble to your room and pull out a small signed flyer, “See?”
Ellie gently holds it then she snorts and mutters, “Yeah, that’s not real.”
Your expression falters, “Wh-what? As if you’d know,” you pull it from her grip, your pride hurt and internally kicking yourself for spending so much on what could be a damn knock off.
“Oh, I think I’d know a thing or two about ‘Spider-Man’,” she chuckles.
“What does that mean,” you shoot her a glare.
“Oh, nothing.. I just, uh, met him” Ellie is scrambling for any way to cover up her loud mouth.
“No way, really?!” You jump up.
“Y-yeah, a few times actually.. back in my first year of college, he let me take some pictures of him a few times for the paper.”
You squeal and begin to bombard her with questions, “What was he like? Is he tall? How does he sound? Wh—?”
Ellie is patient with you and answers all of your questions, stretching she takes a look at the clock and jumps up, “Fuck, I really should get going, it’s rainy and the parade is tomorrow and that means more cr —.”
“More, what?”
“Uh, more cramped subways!” (Ellie is internally patting herself on the back for coming up with a word that begins with ‘cr’ instead of saying criminals.)
“Oh, alright.. see ya.”
Ellie is out the door quicker than you could say ‘your friendly neighborhood spider-man.’
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
It’s the day of the parade and everyone’s spirits are high. Today, everyone is celebrating the election of the new city mayor. There will be a parade, drone show, and a market. Even you’re excited. You and your friends are making your way through the crowded streets when you bump into Abby, your ex. She must be here for her family, Abby’s family was widely renowned. Her dad isn’t just a highly esteemed surgeon, he’s also CEO of Oscorp and has very close ties to the city officials. You don’t really want any drama, so you pass by without giving as much as a nod.
“Hey, Y/n,” you hear through the crowds, a groan leaving your lips before looking up and meeting green eyes instead of blue ones.
“Ellie! What’re you doing here? I thought you would hate this kinda stuff.’
She holds up her camera, “Just takin’ photos, the Daily Bugle needs some front page stuff and they assigned it to me.”
“Oh, very cool,” you smile, “S—,” Just as you’re about to ask her if she wants to check out the stands with you, you feel a hand grip your shoulder, it’s Abby, fuck.
“Hey, Y/n, long time, huh? Wanna come see my dad, he’s been asking about you, oh, so has Manny.” Before you could reject her, Ellie is already walking away and Abby is steering you to the city hall building.
Abby drones on and on about her latest lacrosse victories and about her latest conquests, you just nod and try to space out. Normally, you wouldn’t go with her but you so desperately wanted to meet with her father. Being in premed meant you need as many connections as possible, so you were hoping Mr. Anderson could give you some pointers.
As the two of you round a corner you feel a rumble then hear a boom.
“What the fuck was that,” Abby stops and runs up the stairs, your feet are frozen in place but you quickly pull them from their cemented state and chase after her, “Abby, stop! It’s too dang—!”
Then came the second boom and suddenly, you felt the ground beneath you crumbling, fuck, this is it, isn’t it? Just as you’re about to accept your fate, you feel hands grip your waist and you’re flying..?
Through the dust, you can make out a red and blue silhouette. “I-it’s you!’
The masked figure looks at you, “Yeah.. i-it’s me.”
Uh, Spider-Man is a lot more awkward than you thought..
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misaerabl · 18 days ago
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"Take it like a taker, Cause baby I'm a giver"
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SHE GETS THE JOB DONE
Farmer!Ellie X F!Reader (from this prompt)
Minors and Men DNI! word count : 2.4k words
SUMMARY: after a breakup, you find yourself sulking at a town gathering, trying to dodge the relentless pity of those around you. ellie approaches with a teasing grin that cuts through your gloom. what starts with lighthearted teasing unfolds into an intimate encounter that leaves you realizing ellie makes you feel in ways no man ever has. (Inspired by The Giver by Chappell Roan)
WARNINGS/Contains Adult Language: smut with some plot, smoking weed, fucking outside, bottom r, stone top e, e calling r princess, baby, eating out (r receiving), fingering (r receiving), also idk how to write in a southern accent so pls just imagine lol
A/N: soooo, this is my first smut on this account. I've been working on this for 2 days and I'm publishing this while on the way to a resort lol. I hope you enjoy it, please inform me if I miss any warnings! ALSO THIS ISN'T PROOFREAD
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You sit alone at the table, the one you’d helped your parents set up earlier, surrounded by the dull hum of voices and clinking glasses. Everyone at the gathering knows about the breakup, and one by one, they stop by to offer their condolences, each making the sting more unbearable.
An older woman pauses beside you, clutching her chest with dramatic flair as if she could feel every ounce of your pain. You force a tight smile, but it's clear she’s milking the moment for all it's worth.
A beer bottle, half-empty, rolls toward your feet, breaking the uncomfortable tension. You nudge it away with a light kick, and it rolls until it stops at someone’s scuffed Converse. You’d recognize those shoes anywhere. You look up and meet the familiar eyes of Ellie Williams, who lives a few farms over with her parents. She’s leaning against a post, the same mischievous grin on her face that she had when you first met at Joel Miller’s farm during a community gathering your parents had dragged you to. Even then, she stood apart, a little defiant, too cool for small talk.
She raises an eyebrow, smirking. “So, third time aint the charm, huh? Don’t worry—maybe you’re just warming up for the main event.” She winks, the teasing tone in her voice pulling a real smile from you for the first time that night.
You roll your eyes, smirking back. “What? are you going to suggest I date your brother next? Cause he’s such a ‘nice guy’,” you say, making air quotes.
Ellie laughs, the sound rough and genuine. “Oh, hell no,” she says, shaking her head. “I was thinking more along the lines of gettin out of this circus. What d'ya say?”
The thought of escaping, even for just a little while, tugs at you. You nod, your smile growing.
She holds out her hand. “Come on, before someone else comes over to tell you how ‘brave’ you are.”
You hesitate for a moment, then take her hand. She leads you around the back of the house, past the clinking bottles and the laughter, until you reach the quiet of the horse stables. The night air is crisp, and it smells faintly of hay and earth. You both settle down on the cool ground, a silence stretching between you that feels oddly comforting.
Ellie pulls something from her pocket—a slim joint. She catches your raised eyebrow and grins. “What? You didn’t think I’d come empty-handed, did you? Best remedy for a breakup.”
You snort, half in amusement and half in disbelief. “Is that… weed?”
“Only the best,” she says, smirking as she lights it. She takes a slow drag before holding it out to you, eyes twinkling with challenge.
You glance at the joint, then back at her. “Don’t tell me you’ve never smoked before,” she teases, nudging it toward you.
You haven’t, but tonight feels like a night for firsts. You take it, trying to act casual, and inhale—too deeply, it turns out. You’re soon doubled over, coughing hard enough to make your eyes water.
Ellie bursts into laughter, a sound so infectious you can’t help but join in between coughs. “Okay, not quite like that,” she says, patting your back. “But hey, first time for everything, right?”
“Clearly,” you wheeze, handing it back and shaking your head as you catch your breath.
The laughter fades into a comfortable silence. Ellie flicks the joint away, watching it fizzle out on the ground. The distant stars seem brighter out here, and you find yourself staring at them until she speaks.
“You’re pretty, y’ know that?” Ellie’s voice is softer now, her gaze meeting yours. “He was an asshole, anyway.”
A short laugh escapes you, rough but sincere. “Yeah, I’m not even sad ‘bout him. I don’t know why everyone thinks I am. I hated the guy and didn’t try to hide it. Fuck he was so bad in bed like the rest of ‘em.”
She nods knowingly, a smirk tugging at her lips. “People love a good breakup story. Makes them feel included in the drama.”
You roll your eyes, the last bit of tension slipping away. “Too bad I’m not giving them the heartbreak they want.”
Ellie nudges your shoulder, the touch light but grounding. “But I do meant it,” she says, a serious edge to her tone. “You’re pretty.”
You meet her eyes, and something shifts in the quiet between you. The world around you fades out, leaving just the two of you under the stars. Without thinking, you lean in, your hand lifting to cup her cheek.
The kiss starts slow, tentative, but the moment your lips touch, a rush of warmth spreads through you, making everything else feel distant. When you pull back, the air feels charged, like you’ve stepped into something unfamiliar but right.
Ellie’s eyes widen slightly, then curve with a grin. “You like me that much already, princess?” Her voice is teasing, but there’s a softness to it, a vulnerability that wasn’t there before.
A blush warms your cheeks, and you look away with a laugh. “Maybe I do,” you admit, the words surprising you.
Ellie tilts her head, her grin shifting into something deeper, more genuine. “You know how long I’ve been wantin to make a move on you?” she whispers, her voice low, a secret just for the two of you. 
Before you can respond, she leans in, closing the distance in a heartbeat. The kiss this time isn’t hesitant or testing—it’s sure, carrying the weight of all those moments neither of you spoke of. Her hand finds the back of your neck, fingers tangling in your hair as the world around you blurs out of focus.
There’s a rush, a quickening of everything—your heartbeat, your breath, the feeling of her lips moving against yours with a gentle urgency. It’s like all the time she’d spent holding back is now pouring into this one moment, and you match her, letting yourself fall into it.
“Fuck I can’t take it anymore princess…” Ellie pushes herself back before straddling you on the ground. She lifts your shirt and kisses your collarbone, you couldn't help but let out a soft moan.
You take off your shirt and toss it aside. Seeing the stupid smile Ellie had on her face when you did made your stomach whirl. She reaches behind and unhooks your bra, fully exposing yourself to her. 
You start to unbutton her shirt, she was wearing a wife beater underneath it which made you frown. 
She notices it and chuckles a bit to herself. She starts to kiss you slowly, getting lower and lower until she reaches your stomach. 
You stare at her as she starts to undo your jeans, growing more impatient, and hungrier for her touch. 
There's no describing what you're feeling right now. Being so responsive to her touch, letting out moans and groans... 
Once she had removed everything you were wearing leaving nothing but your panties, she positioned herself between your legs, staring up at you and then back to the wetness you had underneath. 
"Fuck princess," She glides her fingers over your soaking underwear, making sure to admire your body "So wet f'me already?"  
You moaned and reached for her hand which was still caressing your breasts. “Mhm… Shit” Your response made her smile. She slowly started to remove your panties, two of her fingers sliding into your wet folds. 
Her touch is gentle yet firm, as she slowly slides two fingers inside you, feeling the warmth and wetness that's been building up. She looks up at you, maintaining eye contact as she starts to move her hand, her fingers curling upward to hit that spot that makes your breath hitch.
She continues to watch you intently, her touch unyielding as she works her fingers in and out of you. "You like that, princess?" She asks, voice low. "Tell me how much you want me.”
"I want you so bad..."
Ellie's fingers continue their relentless pace, curling and stroking inside you. Her other hand comes up to cup your breast, thumb circling your nipple. She leans in, hot breath ghosting over your ear as she whispers, “That's it, baby, let me hear those pretty moans.”
With no warning, she flips you over onto your stomach with a strong hand on your hip. She straddles your thighs from behind, pressing her clothed body against your bare back. Her fingers never leave your slick heat as she continues to thrust and stroke, now reaching even deeper.
You feel completely overwhelmed as Ellie's fingers continue to pump in and out of you, hitting that sweet spot inside that makes your whole body tremble. Your chest is pressed against the ground, your face buried in your arms as you try to stifle your screams.
“Fuck Ellie!” Your scream muffled, barely being able to talk. 
She chuckles darkly, the sound vibrating against your skin. "Grip the dirt, princess. Let it feel your desperation." Her fingers never stop moving, now scissoring inside you, stretching you in the most delicious way. "What's the matter, can't you take it?"
Her voice turns rougher, laced with a possessiveness that sends shivers down your spine. "No man has ever touched you like this, have they? They couldn't, because this…” She pauses to curl her fingers inside you, chuckling against your ear at your broken cry.
She continues her relentless assault, fingers pumping faster as her palm grinds against your clit. "This is what you needed all along. To be taken, claimed, owned by someone who knows exactly how to make your body sing." Her teeth graze your shoulder. "Say it.”
"Tell me, has a man ever made you feel this good? Made you this desperate? Made you this... needy?" Her fingers curve upwards, hitting that sweet spot inside you that makes you arch your back and let out a cry to the night sky.
“NO! FUCK NO!” You whimper. 
"And don't you forget it," She says, her voice low and dominating. 
You know that you wouldn't. Right in this very moment, you feel like you're seeing stars. You know that every time you touch yourself remembering this night, you'll be screaming her name.
She grins, her hand working faster "I love seeing you like this princess…" She leans in, her voice dropping to a whisper
"So responsive, so vulnerable. And all mine to play with." Her breath is hot on your neck, her voice laced with power and satisfaction. "You're going to come for me now, aren't you? With my fingers inside you, and my voice in your ear, saying you're mine.”
“Ellie- I want to see your face… Please?” 
She pauses for a moment, considering your request before nodding. "Good girl." She slowly removes her fingers from your trembling body, leaving you empty and aching for a moment before she flips you over onto your back. "Look at me, princess.”
You lock eyes with her as she brings her shiny, wet fingers to her mouth and sucks them clean. A smirk plays on her lips as she leans down between your spread thighs, her hands gripping your hips tightly. "Wrap your legs around my neck, baby.”
You do as she says, You wrap your legs tightly around her neck, holding on as she buries her face between your thighs. Her tongue dives inside you, lapping at your sensitive walls with ruthless enthusiasm. She sucks on your clit, her fingers digging into your hips as she eats you out with wild abandon.
As if reading your mind, she slides two fingers inside you once more, pumping them in rhythm with her thrusting tongue. Her mouth is merciless, her tongue flicking against you as her fingers stretch you wide. "Look at me,”
You're forced to keep eye contact with her as she devours you, her gaze burning with intensity. "I want to see the look on your face when you come. I want to see the moment you break." Her fingers curl inside you, rubbing against that spot that makes your vision blur.
Your breath hitches, and you dig into her back as your hips buck against her mouth. She growls against your flesh, the vibrations sending you hurtling towards the edge. "Ellie... please..." Your words trail off into a moan as she feels you clamp down around her fingers.
Her expression darkens, eyes locked onto yours as she redoubles her efforts. Her tongue swirls around your throbbing nub while her fingers pump in and out of you, the dual sensation becoming too much to bear. "Come for me, princess,”
Your back arches off the ground, legs shaking violently as you find your release. You scream her name, eyes wide and unblinking as you come undone. Wave after wave of pleasure crashes over you, drowning out everything else. You hope the loud music inside was able to drown out your desperate screams.
As you shake and tremble, Ellie finally releases your hip, using her free hand to spread your pussy open wide. She looks at you with a hungry gaze, admiring the way your juices drip out of you. "Fuck, look at you," 
With a gentle kiss to your inner thigh, she lifts her head and crawls up your body to wrap you in her arms. She strokes your hair and rubs your back soothingly as you catch your breath. "Shh, you're okay, princess. I've got you.”
You nuzzle against her chest, the beating of her heart a soothing rhythm that calms your racing thoughts. The way she holds you now, tender and gentle, is a stark contrast to the intense passion from moments before. You feel cherished, protected.
You let out a content sigh, nestling closer. "I feel... satisfied. Really satisfied." You look up at her, tracing her jawline with your fingertips. "And you were right” 
Her eyes sparkle with a mix of amusement and affection, her voice low and husky. "I told you, princess. I know exactly what y’ need." She presses a gentle kiss to the tip of your nose. "And I'm glad I could be the one to give it to you.”
She continues to hold you, the warmth of her body and the security of her embrace making you feel safe and loved in a way you never have before. "You're mine now, princess. Mine to protect, mine to care for, and mine to love.”
 ⋆.˚🦋༘⋆
do not republish any of my works! all rights reserved to me I guess
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ange1heavensent · 3 months ago
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Getting Caught in 4K
:。.。:+* ゚ ゜゚ *+:。.。:+* ゚ ゜゚ *+:。.。.。:+*゚ ゜゚ *+:。.。:
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Pairing: ellie williams x fem!reader
Content Warning: light makeout
w/c ≈ 750
:。.。:+* ゚ ゜゚ *+:。.。:+* ゚ ゜゚ *+:。.。.。:+*゚ ゜゚ *+:。.。:
The evening air was crisp, a gentle breeze sweeping through the streets as you pulled your car up to Ellie’s house. The date had gone even better than you’d imagined. Dinner, movie, and her constant smirk that made your heart flutter, it had all felt perfect. Ellie sat beside you in the passenger seat, glancing out of the window as if savoring the last few moments of your time together before stepping out.
"Thanks for tonight," Ellie said, breaking the silence but making no move to leave. Her voice was soft, almost hesitant, as if she didn’t really want to say goodbye. “I had a really good time tonight.” you replied, your heart thudding a little faster in your chest. Ellie smiled, her lips curling up in that way that always made your heart skip. “Me too.”
Before you could say anything else, Ellie leaned over, her breath warm against your skin as she pressed a soft kiss to your cheek. It was meant to be a simple gesture of thanks, but the second her lips touched your skin, something shifted in the air between you. You turned your head slightly, and suddenly, her lips were on yours, tentative at first, but then growing bolder when you kissed her back.
The kiss deepened, your hands finding their way to Ellie’s hair, fingers tangling in the soft strands as she leaned closer, her body pressing against yours. The space between the seats felt too small, too confining, as if it wasn’t enough to contain the intensity of the moment.
Ellie seemed to feel the same way. Without breaking the kiss, she shifted, trying to climb over the center console into your lap. The car was small, though, and Ellie’s movements were anything but graceful. Her knee knocked into the gearshift, and as she twisted her body to straddle you, her foot caught on the edge of the seat. In the scramble, her butt hit the car horn with a loud, blaring honk that shattered the quiet night.
You both froze, the kiss abruptly cut off as you stared at each other in shock, wide-eyed and breathless. Then, as if on cue, the front door of Ellie’s house swung open, and there stood Joel, silhouetted against the light from inside.
“Ellie,” Joel called out, his voice gruff but not exactly angry—more like he had caught her doing something she shouldn’t, which was… well, accurate.
Ellie quickly scrambled off you, mumbling out a curse, nearly falling back into the passenger seat as she tried to regain her composure, then rolling the passenger window down. "Uh, hey, Joel…" She wiped at her mouth, trying to look nonchalant, but the red creeping up her neck wasn’t helping her case. “Didn’t mean to wake you up.”
Joel raised an eyebrow, looking between you two before letting out a heavy sigh. "I was wonderin' why the car horn went off in the driveway. Didn't realize it was... this." His tone was stern, but there was a hint of amusement in his eyes that he was clearly trying to suppress.
You couldn’t help but laugh nervously, running a hand through your hair. "Sorry, Mr. Miller…"
Joel just shook his head, stepping back towards the house. "You two finish up your… uh, whatever it is you're doin'. Just… maybe not in the driveway, yeah?" He gave Ellie a pointed look before disappearing back inside.
The moment he was out of sight, Ellie let out a deep breath, slumping back in the seat, and you both burst into laughter.
"Well, that could've been worse," Ellie snorted, wiping a hand over her face. She turned to you, her face still flushed, still not quite over the embarrassment. "So, what are the chances we can pretend that never happened?"
You laughed, shaking your head. "Not a chance. I’m never letting you live this down."
Ellie rolled her eyes but leaned in to press one last soft kiss to your lips, this time careful not to trigger any more accidental honking. “Guess we’ll have to try this again sometime,” she murmured against your lips, her voice low and teasing, "but next time let’s make sure we’re in your room or something, okay?" “Yeah,” you agreed, your heart fluttering at the thought. “I’d like that.”
As she opened the door and stepped out of the car, Ellie threw you one last playful wink before jogging up the steps to the house, leaving you with a fluttering heart and a memory of the night you definitely wouldn’t forget anytime soon.
:。.。:+* ゚ ゜゚ *+:。.。:+* ゚ ゜゚ *+:。.。.。:+*゚ ゜゚ *+:。.。:
Thank you for reading! If you liked this fic, check out my masterlist for more :)
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ellies1luvr · 5 months ago
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dealer!ellie x reader
(head cannons)
based on the song daddy issues by the neighborhood
A/n: Im writing this on my notes app, have never written before but i fear if i don’t write this it will never be written😅 currently going though a situation ship and im very touched starved so that is wear this is coming from‼️
Idc if minors read
please give me feedback even if its not the nicest it is really appreciated!!
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TW: erm lesbians, reader having daddy issues, casual by chappell roan mentioned, crying, panic attacks, anxiety, reader sits on ellies lap, weed, lmk if i missed anything!! no use of y/n‼️
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Dealer Ellie who met you at a party having panic attack
Dealer Ellie who brought you back to a random couch at the frat party and gave you free weed to calm you down while having a meaningful conversations
Dealer ellie who drove you home and got your phone number
Now anytime you have a panic attack or anything close to one, you call ellie and she comes over with free weed/ holds your hand and comforts you the whole time
“hey pretty girl” “there you go pretty”
when you smoke to much shes there to ground you
“its okay baby i got you, your safe with me”
Soon after you both catch feelings, not telling each other because you don’t want to ruin whats going on.
You call ellie one afternoon asking if she can come over, shes really busy but you dont need to know that and comes over.
you both end up confessing your feelings and make out on the couch, soon you both fall asleep in each others arms
by the end of that night you and ellie are bound by the hip (i think thats how the saying goes?? idk) ellie always with you in someway or some form.
Ellie soon finds out about your attachment issues and fear shes gonna leave you in some way, (hints daddy issues😅) but that fear is soon subsided by ellie and her always with and doting on you
at the beginning of you and ellies relationship, you tried not to get too comfortable but as soon as you do, you are clinging to ellie all the time.
(deals, in classes, restaurants, idk but always touching ellie and ellie always with or touching you in some way)
Getting with ellie didnt stop all your panic attacks or anxiety, when bad panic attacks would happen you would sit on ellies lap with a tv show playing in the background, ellie lighting a blunt, lightly placing it between your lips watching you inhale and exhale
Dealer ellie making that collage dealer bank, would take you shopping all the time.
no matter what your style, hyperfem, on the masculine side, or neither she would spoil the hell out of you.
You and ellie dont have sex untill about a month into the relationship, deciding to take it slow
You and ellie rarely ever got in fights, (you being sensitive also hints daddy issues😅) would cry when ellie raised her voice at you, not trying to be manipulative in the way that anytime you two get in disagreements you cry, but when she would yell, yes.
“ellie that girl was flirting with you i saw it”
“babe no she wasnt”
“ellie please just stop dealing to her”
“babe its my fucking job to deal what do you expect for a dealer in a collage campus not to get hit on?!”
when she heard sniffles her heart immediately dropped realizing that she yelled.
safe to say that girl never got another ounce of weed from ellie again.
i feel like all of ellies past relationships were just “casual” but with you it was very different!
Red wine supernova by chappell roan is definitely her favorite song on rise and fall of a midwest princess (but she relates to casual 😅 the most)
The first time she took you to meet joel you cried bc your dad cut you off once he found out you were gay , and especially not a dad like joel
one time when you amd ellie once woke up early enough to make breakfast before classes, you started a playlist on you phone
Naked in manhattan by chappell roan started playing, you started dancing and ellie soon followed hugging you from behind kissing your neck
Suggestive
at party’s when ellies dealing, you would always be perched on her lap, facing ellie, counting her freckles
Ellie being ellie is horny when shes high, you being you are emotional when high but that doesnt stop yall from having heated moments when both of yall are high.
i feel like ellie would have Lunch by billie eilish playing when shes high and that always leads to a long (fun) night
thanks for reading dykes‼️
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magnetic-rose · 2 years ago
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if you loved episode 3 of tlou you really should listen to the official podcast with troy baker, craig mazin and neil druckmann because there’s SO much! here’s some of my favorite things said on the podcast:
- joel stacking rocks was to show that he missed and mourned tess. in that moment he was saying “i’m sorry, i blew it, i lost you.”
- in the beginning of the episode ellie told joel tess’ death wasn’t her fault but deep down she does feel like it was her fault.
- ellie admires joel because he protected her multiple times and as a child she has a desire for a parental figure to protect her.
- frank realized bill was gay pretty much as soon as he got out of the hole and saw how bill was looking at him. bill’s taking in how handsome frank is and “frank’s brain is incredibly attuned to that.” that’s why frank was smiling.
- frank realized bill was gay fast, but he realized he wanted bill when bill was playing the piano and singing linda ronstadt.
- it took them a while to find long long time by linda ronstadt but they always intended the song for bill to sing to be about a long love that was forever unrequited. “it was very important that the lyrics were someone saying ‘everyone tells me that it’s okay, that love will find me [...],’ no it doesn’t, no it’s not, and the person that i long for from afar - i’m gonna love them basically forever in the most unrequited manner.”
- it was important that frank immediately knew bill’s sexuality because frank SAW bill, because bill had completely buried his sexuality but frank saw through him.
- frank originally was trying to see what he could get out of bill (like a free lunch) but the more time they spent together, the more he went “oh, this is a beautiful person.”
- “there is two ways of loving things. frank wants to love outwards - he is sun, he is light. he wants to make things beautiful around him, he wants to care for bill, he wants to revitalize the streets so it’s not just this mausoleum bill lives in, and he wants to have friends. he wants to share what they have. and bill wants to put an electrified fence around them that is guarded by an additional layer of flame-throwing gas pipes and no one can show up ever because he must protect frank from the world... and as it turns out, both of those loved are required but one of those loves is likely to give you in trouble more than the other.”
- when frank put his finger on the furniture piece and saw how dusty it was, he realized what his purpose could be in bill’s life. bill can protect them, but frank can nurture their home.
- when bill apologizes to frank for growing old fast, it’s because he’s afraid of frank being left alone. “look at this beautiful man and the beautiful things that he does, and what is bill’s contribution? bill doesn’t grow strawberries. bill’s contribution is to keep frank alive. but bill is already afraid that he’s going to fail and that is a fear that joel has because he has that fear through experience [of losing his daughter.]“
- bill and joel understand each other and that they’re purpose is to protect others. they don’t care about their own lives.
- on their last day together, bill decided very early that he was going to die as well.
- the gun that ellie takes belonged to frank.
- that letter bill wrote reminded joel that he failed to protect both sarah and tess. the letter underscores for him that no matter how hard he tries, he can’t protect the people that he cares about. but now he has ellie to protect.
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dumblilb · 1 year ago
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I KNEW THEN
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Ellie Williams x Fem!Reader
(Synopsis: You have loved Ellie since the moment she moved to Jackson. You just didn’t know it at the time. Inspired by Graceland Too by Phoebe Bridgers.)
(Warnings: SMUT 18+ MDNI, smut with way to much backstory lmao, switch!Ellie, switch!reader, oral (reader and Ellie receiving), fingering, friends to lovers, tlou!au, smoking weed, cursing, fluff)
(Words: 3,6k)
* ・゚☆ 。・ * ・゚★ 。・ * ・゚☆ * ・゚☆ 。
You had been in Jackson about a year before Ellie had showed up. So when her and Joel moved in next door, your parents practically shoved you out of the house to go invite them to dinner.
You knocked on the door messing with the hem of your shirt. Till it swung open and a scruffy looking man stood in front of you.
“H-hello.” You stuttered out.
“Hi there.” Joel says and you muster up your best smile.
“I live next door and me and my parents were wondering if you guys would like to come over for dinner?” You explain. You can tell the man is tired and you expect him to say no. But he gives a polite grin and nods.
“What time?” He asks and your face lights up.
“Six.” You smile.
“See you then.” He says and shuts the door as you walk off. You couldn’t help but feel giddy at the thought of him bringing the new girl in town over. You had seen her a few months back when they first found tommy. She was walking with Maria in town and you had bumped into them. The girl took a knife out of her pocket and held it to face you. You were so startled you fell back onto the snow covered floor.
“Ellie there’s no need for that.” Maria says and the girl lowers the knife as Maria helps you up.
“Sorry y/n.” She apologizes. And you dust your clothes off.
“It’s fine. I should have been watching where I was going.” You say as the girl next to her just stared at you. She had really pretty green eyes and freckles covering her frosty cheeks.
“Y/n this is Ellie. She’s a friend of Tommy’s brother.” Maria explains and you stick out a hand to shake. She looks at you funny but returns the gesture.
“Nice to meet you, I guess.” She says and you just smile ignoring that last bit.
“You too.” You say and they continue to walk leaving you to stare at the auburn haired girl.
You hadn’t been able to forget her since. She just seemed so cool and grown up compared to you. Even though you found out from your mom when they moved in that she’s the same age as you.
So as you ran home you thought of all the stuff you needed to do to get ready for tonight. You wanted her to like you.
You went into your room and shut the door loudly behind you. You stood in front of the mirror wondering if you should change your hairstyle up, or if you should put on some perfume. You changed your shirt twice and ended up laying on your bed, annoyed at the way your jeans fit, when your mom walked in.
“Are they coming over?” She asks taking in your newly messy room.
“Yeah at 6.” You say and she smiles.
“You better clean up then. What if she wants to see your room.” She teases you and you shoot up right. Looking around at the clothes scattered on your floor and the mess displayed on your vanity. You gasp internally. ‘Oh no’ is all you could think before you started to pile clothes into your hands and rush them to the laundry. Your mom just laughs before going to set the table. You finish up and rush to put on your earrings as you hear a knock at the door.
You dash past your parents and open it up. At first you only see Joel, who moves inside to greet your parents, which finally gives you a good view of her. She looked different than when you last saw her. Not really in appearance, but her demeanor. She seemed some how even more reserved. She had her hands in her pocked and a tired look on her face. All the work you had done lost all meaning in a mater of seconds and you felt humiliated realizing she probably wouldn’t care at all what you had done to look good, or how nice your room looked. But you mustered up the courage to give her a smile.
“Hi.” You say your voice almost cracking.
“Hi…” She says awkwardly. You move aside letting her in. She looks around as she gravitates towards Joel. Him and your parents notice this so as you shut the door your mom says-
“Why don’t you girls go hang out in y/n’s room as we finish up dinner.” Your heart drops as you stare at her wide eyed. Ellie just sighs and Joel nudges her in an attempt at getting her to be polite. You nervously lead the girl to your door and walk in. She stared at your posters that adorn your walls and the books and comics piled up by your bed.
“You wanna sit?” You ask motioning to the bed. She just shrugs and takes a seat. You doing the same.
“So uh, you like comics?” She asks breaking the silence and you look up at her.
“Oh yeah, I have a little collection. You like um too?” You smile and she nods.
“Yeah I had some but I couldn’t bring them to Jackson.” She says a little more comfortable than before.
“You can borrow some of mine. I’ve reread them like a hundred times so they could use some fresh eyes.” You say and she lights up.
“That would be really cool, thanks.” She says giving you a smile. It’s the first time you had seen her smile. Your stomach flipped at the sight. She was so pretty.
“So uh, do you like music?” You say and she nods enthusiastically. You spent the rest of the night getting to know each other. Talking about your interest and favorite things to do. You found out she really liked space and drawing. And you vowed to show her your favorite movies. You both were laying on your bed reading one of your comics in very loud and dramatic display when your mom knocked on the door opening it up.
“Dinner.” She says and can’t help but smile at the big grins on both of your faces.
Dinner at your respective houses became a weekly thing. And quickly a deep friendship was made. You were together all the time. You would sleep over in her garage all the time. To the point that you practically had your own drawer in her dresser. When you got old enough Maria had you and Ellie paired together on patrols. Ellie hated it. Not that she had to do them, but the fact that you got hurt so often. You’d never forget your first day. It was snowing and your feet hurt from the hours of walking in the heavy boots.
“Stay behind me okay.” She smiled moving some of your hair out of your face. You nodded and followed her around the corner towards a broken down fence. She was about to climb through when you both heard noise behind you. An infected was running straight for you. Ellie had spent weeks teaching you how to shoot. But it all seemed to slip your mind. You shot at it a few times before it tackled you to the ground. You grabbed a large rock that was next to you and tried to bash its head, but it was no use. Ellie ripped it off you stabbing it multiple times in the head. Blood splattered across her face as she did it. It fell dead to the ground and you looked up at her. The deep red lay against her frosty pale skin making your stomach flip. She kneeled in front of you and wiped away some that got on your cheek.
You had always thought Ellie was pretty. It never seemed weird to you. But in this moment you realized pretty wasn’t a good way to describe her anymore. It seemed too juvenile. Something any best friend would say. She was beautiful. When she looked at you it was almost polarizing. As she gave you a hand your grip trembled. Ellie would convince herself you were just scared after what just happened. But you knew it was the way she held on for a little too long after you got up that had your knees weak.
“Are you okay?” She asks rubbing your shoulders.
“Yeah, I’m okay…”You say not breaking eye contact.
From that day on you couldn’t help but notice little things about her. Like how she rested her hand on your waist when you would order for her at the tipsy bison. Or how she would kiss your forehead before leaving on a patrol you weren’t assigned on. Or how she was so protective of you when it came to the men in town. Little did she know they wouldn’t have a chance if they wanted one.
Ellie noticed things about you too. Like how you make sure to give her a compliment everyday. Or how you can’t help but cuddle up with her when you sleep over. Half the time leaving her aching as you sleep on her chest. Knowing it’s as close as she’s ever gonna get to what she wishes. She’s known how she’s felt about you since the first day she got here. You were just so gorgeous. It made her super nervous, so when you were so nice to her she couldn’t believe it. You began to get so close that she felt almost disgusted with how much she liked you. She even tried to date a little over the years to get over it. She dated this girl named cat who covered up her scars with a large tattoo on her forearm. But she knew that wouldn’t work out when all she could think about was how excited she was to show it to you.
The day of your 19th birthday you and a few friends went to the bar to do makeshift karaoke. Your parents, Joel, Tommy, and Maria all sat at a table in the back laughing at the sight in front of them. You and Ellie danced around like children as Dina and Jesse sang a horrible rendition of my heart will go on. When they finished up you got up and grabbed the guitar you borrowed from Joel. You start to strum and they all sit down.
You start to sing. At first all you could focus on was where you were putting your fingers. Knowing you weren’t as good as Ellie or Joel. But as you got farther into the song you looked up from the strings and at her. Whenever you heard this song you thought of her. You thought of her voice and how her skin feels against yours. You thought of how much she’s gone through and how many times she been your personal defender. You thought about how no matter what you did she was always the first and last thought you had each day. She consumed you. All you could do was stare at her as the words left you lips.
“Said she knows she lived through it to get to this moment. Ate a sleeve of saltines on my floor, and I knew then.
I would do anything you want me to.
I would do anything for you. I would do anything, I would do anything. Whatever you want me to do, I will do.
Whatever she wants, whatever she wants.
Whatever she wants
Whatever she wants
I will do anything
I will do anything
Whatever she wants
Whatever she wants…..”
The air felt thick as you both looked at each other. The others clapped and you got up walking towards her. You said nothing. Not one word. You just took a seat next to her and watched the next performance. She gripped your hand. Tight. And she didn’t let go till you got to her place that night.
You sat on her couch with a joint between your fingers and her legs entangled with yours. She ran her fingers down your thigh as she looked at you. She was humming the song you sang as you let out a puff of smoke.
You had shared endless nights like this. But the feeling that only can be described as understanding roamed through the air. You were terrified. Cause you couldn’t hold it in any longer. You turned to face her, just taking the moment in. She had changed into an old t-shirt and a pair of boxer shorts. Her hair was half tied up. And as she took the joint from your fingers to her lips, the sight of them parting made you squirm in your seat. She let out the smoke and you finally spoke up.
“Ellie.”
“Yeah?”
“I want you to know something.” You say and she hold your hand on hers.
“What’s up?” She says trying to play it cool. She can’t remember the last time she found anyone as beautiful as she found you right now.
“I- I think I’ve liked you from the day I met you.” You say in almost a whisper, causing her to chuckle nervously.
“I would hope so. We’re kinda best friends.” She jokes and you hold her hand tighter.
“Ellie. I’ve loved you since the day I met you.” You finally let out without falter. She went tense. But her face softened. You look at her trying to read her mind. You rub the back of her hand with your thumb. Causing her to shiver. She finally lets out a breath she didn’t even know she was holding in. And she smiled. She put her hand out to caress your cheek.
“God, you don’t know how long I’ve wanted to hear that.” She breathes causing you to let out a small giggle.
She moves her hand to the base of your neck. Pulling you towards her.
“Im glad. Cause you don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do this.” You whisper and gently press your lips to hers. She grins into the kiss as you run your fingers from her hands to her arms. Moving to where she’s slightly on top of you, she separates slowly. Placing small kisses around your face. You place one last kiss to her lips before you pulled her up to go lay down.
“I’ve gotta say this is probably my favorite sleep over we have ever had.” She smirks and you push her shoulder.
“You better shut up or I’m going home.” You threaten. Small laughs leaving your lips.
“Oh yeah sure. I bet you think the stuffed bear on your bed kisses better than me too.” She smiles now hovering over you. Her knees on either side of your hips as she kisses down your neck.
You grip her hips tightly messing with the hem of her shirt. Sliding your thumbs into the waistband of her boxers you tug a little causing her to nip harder at you neck. She stops for a second to remove her shirt. Causing you to stare up at her in awe.
You wrap your arms under hers and glide your fingers down her bare back.
“You’re so beautiful.” You mutter causing a pink tint to coat her cheeks. You pull her down and start to kiss a line down her chest. Returning the favor she had done to your neck. She lets out a shaky breath gripping your shirt in her hands. She pulls it off of you slowly to let the feeling of your lips linger on her skin a little longer.
“Fuck..” she whispers. A hot feeling pooling in her stomach as she looks down at your chest. She places her hand on your skin rubbing the plush of your tits softly with her thumb, making your head lean back at the feeling. Your hands rest in her hair as she leans in connecting her mouth to one. Her tongue massages the area causing you to let out a soft moan. A hand travels down to try and remove your pajama shorts. So you lift your hips to help her. Grinding into her slightly causing her to groan.
She traveled down your body leaving sloppy pecks to your skin as she goes. She thumbs the damp era of your underwear.
“Hmm.” She sounds and you look down at her. “Can I-“
“Please.” You say. Urgency in your voice.
She lowers herself to place her nose to your clothed core and she breathes in deep causing you to gasp at her actions. She tugs at the fabric helping you get it off you legs. Leaving kisses down and back up your inner thighs as she goes. Spreading you open with her fingers she plays with your folds painfully slow. Neglecting your clit on purpose just to hear you whine.
“Ellie-“
“Shhhh…” she whispers placing her lips to your cunt leaving small kisses the the area. The vibrations of her statement making you close your eyes.
She dips her tongue in grazing it up your slit. And gently sucking on your sensitive bud. You groan loudly making her grip your hips harder. Begging to move quicker she massages the area, making you grind into her face. You grip the messy bed sheets tightly as she brings a hand to slowly insert a finger into your cunt.
She moves at a delicate pace looking up at you. Your face was contorted in pleasure as you let out a moan. Your skin was starting to glisten from sweat and each time you thrust towards her, your chest would bounce. A wet spot was forming in her boxers from the sight. Your knuckles were white as you gripped her sheets. But as she moved slightly one of your hand released its grip and found a new place in her hair. Tugging slightly to direct her where you needed. She complied happily. The feeling of you clenching as she added another finger almost being enough to make her finish herself.
“Ellie don’t stop… I’m gonna…” You barley get out as she pumps her fingers in you rapidly. Running circles on your clit with her tongue as she goes. Your head rolls back as you place your other hand to palm your chest pinching yourself as a wave of release washed over your body. Letting out a string of curses as she lets you ride out your high removing her fingers. Happily cleaning you up with mouth. She kisses up your chest to your cheeks using her thumb to open your lips, she places the fingers she was just using to them. Letting you taste yourself.
“You did so good.” She smiles softly as she places a kiss to your forehead.
“I’m not done.” You say sitting up and flipping her on her back, causing her to look up at you in shock.
“It’s my turn. Whatever you want.” You smile sweetly leaving small kisses to her cheeks as you straddle her hips, locking her down.
“All I’ve ever wanted is you.” She whispers holding your face softly in her palms. Bringing you in for a kiss. It was needy. Like she was making up for lost time. Years of pent up frustration letting itself out in this moment.
You separate for a second to pull off her boxers. You notice the soaked spot but don’t say anything. Like it was a little secret all for yourself. You liked knowing that you had the same affect on her as she did for you.
You gripped her legs pulling her closer to the edge of the bed as you got down bedside it on your knees. You hoisted her thighs over your shoulder.
“God you’re so hot.” You groan as you run your palm down her toned abdomen. When you place your mouth on her slit you swear you hear her whimper out your name. She thrusts slightly on your face. Causing you to hold her down tighter. You start to move your tongue over her clit in small up and down motions, making tension build in her. You could tell she wanted to move quicker so you let her do just that. She used your face like a toy as you assisted her hips in ridding your tongue. She brought a hand down to play with her clit as you inserted your tongue in and out of her heat.
“You feel so fucking good.” She stammers out as you move her hand and replace the sensation with your lips suctioning the area and your fingers plunging in her. A loud groan escapes her lips. She couldn’t help but lean forward a little to watch you. You take notice to this and hover over her. Kissing her neck slowly. Her fingers grip your hair as your fingers continue to fill her walls. Your palm rubbing her puffy clit in the process. She becomes louder, letting out a string of curses her hips turn restless as you add another finger curling up slightly to hit her spot.
You can feel her clench around you tightly as her legs twitch. You feel her release. Cumming on your fingers making you smile against her. Kissing down her body, You remove your fingers with a steady motion. Licking her clean you drag it up to press your chest against hers. You leaned into the crook of her neck as she breathed heavily. Her chest moving up and down, mimicking yours.
You both got comfortable heads resting on her pillows as she connects her lips to yours. You feel something wet on your cheek and separate to look at her. She had small tears in the corners of her eyes. You brought your hand to caress her as she pulls you in tight, clinging to your body.
“Why are you crying?” You ask softly kissing away a tear that threatened to fall.
“I’m just so happy. I wish it wouldn’t have taken us this long to get here.” She sighs nuzzling her head in your chest with a big grin.
“Me too. Im so glad I have you.” You say running your fingers through her roots as she falls asleep in your arms. With a smile resting on her features.
701 notes · View notes
s-4pphics · 11 months ago
Text
click!: in frame. 1 (e.w.)
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SYNOPSIS: you crave redemption more than love. [idk au]
WORD COUNT: 7.7k
WARNINGS: professionalphotographer!ellie, strugglingartist!oc who’s black, ANGST!!, loss and unhealthy grieving, papa issues, verbally abusive parent(PLEASE TREAD LIGHTLY), depictions of therapy and counseling, light discussion of anger management, brief mention of alcohol, bullying, a lil fluff, SMUT!! YIPPEE MDNI, bondage, squirting, bathroom sex, eating out no taqueria, ellie getting sloppy from a hot milf that’s it 
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You look like your mom. 
Your father’s admiring whisper yanks you out of the hazy turbulence in your mind. You shovel a handful of caramel popcorn in your mouth. You don’t dare look at him. 
Daughter things, I guess. Your dad simply hums. Silence simmers between the two of you. It’s not comforting. Not like it should be. A bomb is coming. 
Honey, I… I love you. Your father sounds like he's crying and it pauses your aggressive chewing. You finally turn to face him and your fingers twitch when you see his globby tears. They’re heavy as he releases his regrets in silence, just like he always does during this time of year. 
Me, too, dad. 
You’re not sure if you’re lying or not. Some things are impossible to forget, you suppose. 
You eat more popcorn with a permanently damaged heart. 
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FOUR YEARS LATER
FIRST DAY WITH DOCTOR BROWN. 
“Some people believe that any form of assistance is… insulting. Whether it be to them as people or… specific traits that they hold that others may find unfamiliar or unsettling. I’m not here to judge or anything of that nature. Just here to help you figure out why specific aspects of your life affect you the way they do.” 
Your arms cross over your chest. Dr. Brown realizes you’re not taking the bait, so she attempts to get you more comfortable. “I think icebreakers could help ease some of the tension. So… What’s your favorit— “
“My dad died last year.” 
Your statement makes her freeze, her smile melting off her face, eyes shifting across her face. She adjusts some papers on her clipboard and clicks her pen. “Alright, hun,” Her gentle tone makes your stomach twist. “Let’s talk about it. What was the relationship with your dad like?” You simply shrug. 
Dr. Brown nods and tries again. “Were you and him close? Your notes say you and your mother were inseparable, just like me and mine.” 
Your nails sink into your cuticles and tears burn in your eyes, “I… I wanted to be. Close.” You whisper. “He wasn’t around like that, though.” 
She scribbles and solemnly nods, “Did he work often?” Your head bobs and droplets stream down your cheeks. 
“I didn’t think I’d care that he died… He was never around growing up, so… like, whatever.” You grumble lamely.
“What did losing him feel like?” 
The end of your mouth curls downward, the familiar searing you’ve grown to loathe, “Like… the world was burnin’.” 
“Elaborate.” She pries softly. 
Another bounce from your shoulders. You readjust in your seat. “I wasn’t even sad. Just…” You trail off, fingers twitching under your arm. 
“Angry. I was angry all the time.” You rush out quietly, face burning with shame. “Just like he was.” You pause when your breath shakes, “I wish I got some of my mom’s traits. My dad’n I are just alike.” You fiddle with the sleeves of your sweater. 
“… You’re not like him— “
“I am— “
“You’re not. You’re trying to put in effort to be better for the future. Could he have said the same?” She’s stern when she speaks.
You’re stumped. You wipe your tears harshly. For the first time, you're at a loss for words. 
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WEEK TWO WITH DOCTOR BROWN. 
“Think about the first time you saw your dad lash out. You can elaborate on how you felt, how you reacted, how your environment changed… Anything you feel comfortable sharing.” Your eyes stay glued to your therapist’s couch as you recall the day. Every detail and foul verbiage he directed towards your mother resurfaces and falls at your sock-covered feet. 
It was the morning of your first day of second grade. Your mother spent the entire morning hot-combing your hair, bumping your ends, littering your locks that were bound to recoil in seconds in bobbles and clips. She could tell by your expression that you didn’t like it, but she completed your bright pink outfit with it’s not for you, it’s for me! Sit still!  She never failed to live vicariously through you; Every childhood moment she couldn’t live out was now yours. 
Your father wasn’t around much. He was a truck-driver, on a constant voyage to wherever he was instructed to go, hundreds to thousands of miles away from solace for months — sometimes years at a time. He missed birthdays, holidays, family reunions; There was always a missing space for him somewhere in your childhood home, whether it be his customized keychain that he forgot, shoes he didn’t pack, a hug he didn’t give. Proof of him was always scattered around somewhere, but he was a shadow. A blank memory. 
So, why were your cartoons interrupted by his booming voice in the kitchen? 
You remember turning the television down, only by a couple digits, your ears honing in on every word he screamed at your mother. You were so confused. Half of those words you’d never heard before. Why was he so mad this early in the morning? 
You knew it was serious when your mother retaliated just as loudly, the cracks and shrieks from her belts sounding alarms in your brain. Your mom’s in trouble! Help her! But how could you? You were defenseless against him. It felt like the day flew by as their aggression intensified, curses nearly shattering the glass of your backyard door before everything went quiet. 
But still, your feet carried you to peek behind the wall that separated the living room from the kitchen. Your attempts at being discreet were pointless, though. When you saw your mother pinned up against the counter by your father, tears streaming down her face as he spat with every whisper onto her cheek, you gasped. Your memory is washy after that, but you remember your mother wiping her tears and slapping that comforting grin on her face. You wish you didn’t remember how broken she sounded when she said alright, baby! Ready for school? Don’t wanna be late! 
You suffered through social studies, language arts, and math. Your mind wasn’t where it should’ve been; You couldn’t shake the fact that your mother could be hurt and she had no one to tell. You just prayed to yourself as your teacher spoke, hoping that your mom would be on time to pick you up at the end of the day. 
Your eyes travel over the teal incisions of thread on your therapist’s seat. You’re still not used to the sound of your own voice. “It’s… it’s a funny story…” You sound so weak. You retell what you can, all while following the tip of your therapist’s scribbling pen. 
Why did it have to be green? Why are the clicks deafening? 
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“Ellie, holy fucking — shit, these look fucking incredible!” Yuki whispers, expression impressed as she snoops over the auburn-haired girl’s shoulder, inspecting the aerial shots she’d taken a few hours ago. Editing is a bitch. “I don’t know how you do it. You’re…” 
“A genius, I know,” Ellie says dryly, a soft grin hidden behind the hand that holds her head up. It’s almost eleven. “M’almost done— “
“Nope! Not happening!” Another voice exclaims from the black lounge chair on the opposite side of the room. “You’re not the one that has to lock up every goddamn night! I ain’t stayin’ here ‘til two again! You got two seconds to finish up before I drag you up outta here.” 
Yuki giggles at Saliyah’s scolding, and Ellie sighs. The pictures look almost perfect. Almost. They’re not there yet! All she needs is an hour… or three—
“What did I say! —“
“Alright, alright, fuck.” Ellie shakes her head before closing all her tabs, pulling her flash drive out of the PC before shutting it down. She stands from her rolling chair and snags her blazer from over the back of it, throwing it over her shoulders and grabbing her work bag, camera already securely inside. She shoves the drive in a random pocket before stretching. 
The two girls already have all of their belongings in hand, more than ready to clock the fuck out. Yuki eyes her slyly, sarcasm dripping from her tone, “Oh, wooow, she’s actually taking orders, now? Listening to instructions for the first time? —“
“Can you stop.” Ellie mutters as she follows the girls descending the stairs. “No!” They both say in unison. Ellie smiles. Does she really stay out that often? There’s no way she’s that stubborn. 
All three girls crack jokes as they vacant the building, ensuring all the lights and equipment are shut off and prepped for tomorrow. It’s an early day. 
“Alright, bitches!” Yuki screams into the darkness, bag swinging as her heels click-clack on the pavement. “I want you bright and bushy-tailed tomorrow! Busy day! No time to fuck arou— “ 
Saliyah yawns, eyes droopy, “Girl… fuck you.” Ellie cackles and rubs her tired eyes. She can’t wait to get these six hours in. And see her baby. Saliyah wraps her arms around Ellie’s neck, muttering see you tomorrow, stinker into her neck. Ellie hums and holds her before watching her get into her vehicle. 
Ellie does the same after both girls leave the parking lot, her head falling back onto the headrest, eyes shutting in exhaustion. Today was insane… Fuck, it was incredible. She's always accepted opportunities to take photos in nature. Landscapes are her prestige, but when she got the offer to take aerial shots of the ocean, she couldn’t say no. Just when she thought she’d never get on an aircraft out of fear…  
The shots were mystical, the monsoon winds carrying the waves in all directions as the foams ripple, a scene straight out of her dreams. The second she got off the helicopter, she got to editing. Staying in late to perfect her captures has become a terrible habit, but what can she say? She loves her job. Thank God her coworkers are as sweet as cherry pie and support her bad habit. Besides tonight, apparently. 
Days like this keep Ellie humbled… Most times. She deserves to boast every once in a while. She often thinks back on her college days, how out of touch chances like these seemed. The number of times she was brushed off by respected professionals because she lacked “necessary resources” was astronomical. But look at her now. She had everything she could ever want: a career she’s passionate about, healthy friendships, and the means to take care of her father. 
Well… she has most things. 
She sighs and starts her vehicle, the diamonds in her Rolex sparkling under the street lights beaming in from the window. The streets are calm. Not normally bustling like they would on a regular day. The clouds are coming in; Rain is due. She’s so excited. 
It’s a calm drive back to her small home. She pulls into the driveway and exits with all her supplies, unlocking and entering her place of peace. 
Meow! Meow! 
Ellie clicks her tongue at Pickle, “Hiii, mama. I’m home.” She drops her bag on the small couch near the front door, bending down to pick her up. “You’re heavy, fuck.” The baby purrs and nuzzles into her neck as they enter the kitchen. She sets her down on the counter and opens the fridge for water. There’s soft scuffling from behind her as she sips. 
Ellie turns to see Pickle playing with a pen, rolling it across granite. She swallows her last gulp before sighing, picking up the utensil, the one memory she kept of you. Your colorful fucking custom ballpoint pen. Pickle nibbles her fingers, trying to snatch it back to play with, but Ellie clicks it over and over. 
“Miss her? Yeah?” She whispers. Pickle licks her index. Ellie will never admit it, but she thinks about you whenever she sees her baby. Yours, too.
She hopes you’re alright.
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“You said that going to his funeral was different from your mom’s. Do you mind elaborating?” 
You shrug and scoff. “Shouldn’t everybody feel sad when they parents die?” Dr. Brown mimics you, “Not at all. Every reaction to loss is different and not all reactions are symmetrical.” 
“I was angry.” Your statement is blunt and abrasive. 
“Expound.” 
“I wanted to dig him up and spit on him my damn self.” You say, sharp as razor blades. Brown hums, unfazed by your sudden aggression; What the hell do therapists write on those clipboards? “I just… Seein’ all these fuckers I didn’t know talk about how fuckin’… great he was and how missed he’ll be was fuckin’ infuriating. They don’t know shit about that man or the shit he’s done.” 
Sympathy washes over Dr. Brown’s pupils. “See, your temper is the reason you’re here. You’re not obligated to forgive anybody that wronged you, but…” She’s simultaneously stern and empathic, “You do not get to use those emotions to inflict negativity onto the people around you. You’re perpetuating the same harm you wanted to avoid in the first place.”  
You instantly know what she’s referring to and guilt radiates all the way down to your toes. Amaya… Oh, you miss her. Another good person caught in your violent crossfire. Your last conversation was vile, and you hate yourself every day for the things you said to the only person who unconditionally cared about your wellbeing. Tears brew in your ducts, but you blink them away. 
“I didn’t… know what to do…” You didn’t, so you screamed and shouted and told her to never call your fucking phone again. The last thing you berated was the final nail in the coffin for your relationship. You left me, you’d said over and over until the line went dead. You left me alone! I fucking needed you! 
“No one has the answers for these types of situations. Why we react the way that we do to traumatic events will always be a mystery.” She adjusts in her chair, leg crossing over the other. “What I do know is that… you’re fighting grief. You’re choosing not to experience it, and it’s making you lash out on people who don’t deserve it.” 
But how does one grieve the person that made their life… unlivable? Through rage. Rage in its purest form: unfiltered, erratic, sizzling. It’s unrelenting and unforgiving and holds no bounds, prepared to be released at any moment, no matter who’s present. Your father’s home has seen it all at this point: glass shattering on walls, screaming into the closet where all his clothes hang, punching the pillow he slept on every night. 
Everything was exactly where your father left it, and instead of crying, you relinquished hell on the home he left in your name. You’re still surprised it wasn’t engulfed in flames after his funeral. 
“I just…” Harsh sniffles from you, desperately wiping your tears with damp hoodie sleeves, “I don’t know what to do. Nothing feels… real anymore.” 
“You’re real, baby.” This is the most delicate Dr. Brown has ever sounded, tone hushed. “Your feelings are real, your pain is real, but so is everyone else’s. You have to remember that.” 
You’re listening so intently, “What I'd suggest…” You already know what she’s going to say, and you’re petrified. You sag into your seat. 
You owe those two girls an apology.
Flashes of green race across your memory. The meadows are back, and they’re haunting. 
“Three.” You whisper. 
“Hm?” 
“I owe…” A heavy exhale. “Three girls an apology.” 
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OCTOBER, 2013 
Ellie’s officially fifteen. She’d give anything to be home right now. 
She was so happy before she left that morning. Her dad woke her up with a heaping stack of iced chocolate chip pancakes that were the size of her head and happy birthday candles. Laughter echoed through their household, following as they cascaded down the stairs to blast music. Neighbors be damned. Everything was perfect. Up until she was dressed and ready and in the car. 
Ellie’s dad held her hand the entire drive. He didn’t comment on her white knuckles as she gripped his digits when he kissed the back of her hand. It took her a second to exit the car when they arrived, so he said the usual. You got this, kiddo. The extra encouragement provided a boost, for sure. She was able to get to class on time. 
Every time a wad of paper or a sharpened pencil hits the back of her head, she regrets not begging her dad to let her stay home. She’s grown used to the snickers, the shoulder chucks in the hallway, but it doesn’t hurt any less.
English concludes and she’s silently packing when her bag gets yanked out of her hand. 
Missed you, stalker, A kid who Ellie doesn’t fucking remember snarks with a dark grin. Where’s that book you always have—
Tyler! The teacher’s voice booms, the class filling with oooh’s, That's enough. Give her stuff back now. 
C’mooon, I can’t talk to my girlfriend? The remaining students burst into laughter and Ellie’s face burns, swallowing the lump that’s forming in her throat. 
How about I call home? Tyler sucks his teeth at the threat while his friends laugh, dropping Ellie’s things on her desk with little care. She wastes no time to flee, shoving her earpods in and synching each trembling breath with the heavy percussion. 
Her dad comes to pick her up an hour later. 
-
-
A light tap on your shoulder tears your attention away from the lengthy equations on the board. Numbers and letters? Your fucking ass; Absolutely not!
You turn to Amaya, who’s smiling wide, shoving a folded note in your hand, rushing you to open it. Your brows crease as you face forward, unraveling the nest crevices and met with… hearts? Glitter? Pretty penmanship? No man wrote this, thank God. 
Hi. You’re really pretty and nice. Would you like to sit with me during lunch? 
Ceniyah 
… Ceniyah? … Thee Cece? The person you’ve been obsessed with since middle school? What the fuck is going on! 
You turn back to Amaya who’s giggling into her palm, catching glimpses of a shy Ceniyah, who keeps her head down, her beaded braids shielding her face. Your face burns and you jerk back forward. It’s not a fucking prank, what the fuck, what the fuck—
Class drags like a bitch, but the bell finally rings, and everyone hustles, shoving books in their bags, running to the cafeteria. You refuse to move, though. Your iron is low and the person you’re in love with asked you to crunch on celery sticks with her. Alone. You're bound to pass out the second you breathe wrong. 
Hi.
You nearly fly out of your seat at her soft tone. She sounds like an angel. You’re going to die. You jump out of your chair and… take in the beauty that she is. She smells like heaven and her skin is perfect, not a blemish in sight. You hope she can’t see your acne scars… and she’s shorter than you. Are minors allowed to get married? 
H-Hey, You hold up the pink piece of construction paper, I, uh, got your note… It’s beautiful. Her smile shines brighter than the sun. She shakes her head and the chains locked on her clips tinker like fairies. 
Are you kiddin’ me! That mural you helped create was crazy. That was beautiful. 
I love you. 
Your eyes go wide. Did you say that? You don’t think you said that… Her smile turns confused and you realize you said that. You almost stab yourself with your pencil. I mean, like, I love how you appreciate art! Like, not m-many people… do that, and stuff…
She smirks and your heart squeezes with delight, And stuff? She inquires with an arched brow. 
I’d appreciate it if you ladies headed to lunch so I can enjoy mine. Your teacher interrupts, And the next note that gets passed earns a detention. 
A soft, floral-scented hand closes around your wrist, over your beaded bracelets and charms. You grab your bag with your last remaining strength and follow her like a puppy, her flowy skirt brushing against the bottoms of your jean-clad legs. 
Best… day… ever. 
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PRESENT 
Ellie needs to start doing finger stretches. Her hands are starting to hurt every time she clocks out. 
She’s sitting at her desk, re-editing the infant photos she took earlier today. The twin girls from earlier were absolute angels, smiling and cooing up at the camera behind their matching pink pacifiers. She's never thought about having children… ever, but it might not be so bad—
Meow! Meow, meow! MeowMEOW—
… Nevermind. Kids are not for her. She can barely get this one to act right. The pictures are cute, though. 
“What’s the matter, mama?” She coos down at a doe-eyed kit-kat. “Hungies?” Pickle jumps up and into her lap, staring at the bright screen that displays Ellie’s editing software. Ellie smirks down at her, “What, you wanna try?” 
Pickle blinks up at her. No thoughts, just kibble. 
She decides to save her progress on the photos and give her munchkin some love. The few minutes of head pats and runs are cut short when she gets a pop-up from her email. She pays it no mind at first, but she zeroes in on the subject with furrowed brows. It simply reads hi… an overdue apology. Ellie blinks a couple times before suspecting spam… But who the fuck names a spam email something that cryptic? What the fuck? 
Ellie opens it… and her body goes numb as her eyes follow each word. 
hi, ellie. i’m not sure how to start this off, but i hope it’s decent enough to sit through. i apologize in advance. 
you probably don’t remember me, but we had statistics and used to live together in college. it was only for two months (i think, kind of a blur) but… yeah. i hope it semi-kinda rings a bell. hi again.
this is a very random time to reach out, and i understand any confusion, but i just wanted to apologize for everything. i was terrible to you. i'd never thought i'd become a judgmental person, but i did. i mocked you, i spoke behind your back, and probably ruined your last year of school, and i carry that regret with me everywhere i go. i’m not sure if i'll ever be able to express my remorse properly. 
i’m trying to do better. i want to do better, but i can’t unless i express it. 
you never have to talk to me again, and i understand if you don’t, but if you ever want to have a conversation with me, i’d be more than willing to come wherever you are to do so. or we can exchange numbers if it’s less of a hassle. i see how busy you are. 
thank you if you took out any time to read this jumbled mess of thoughts. i’m very nervous. i hope you continue to live beautifully. 
sincerely, someone trying to start fresh. 
(p.s. i swear i'm not a stalker. you’re really popping on instagram. congratulations on everything.) 
Ellie wastes no time and unplugs her entire PC, the screen going black. Her heart is racing and water surfaces above her pupils. Pickle purrs in her arms as she backs her rolling chair from under the desk and scurries into her bedroom. She sets the kitty down on her bed and clutches her chest. She forgets to count, forgets to breathe as detailed images of you scatter in her head. 
You… what the fuck.
Ellie feels her hands start to shake, so she squeezes them in a fist as she paces. Her gasps are choked and she’s spiraling into panic; She can’t unsee your teary, brown eyes, how you tried to mask your sadness when she stated she was leaving. She was able to convince herself that she’d never see you again, and it took her so long to be okay with that. She’s grown to be okay without your presence.
The burnt trail she left behind has reignited again. She's sinking, drowning, just like she did years ago. 
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WEEK FIVE WITH DR. BROWN
“How do you feel now? Be honest.” 
“… Still shitty… but alright, I guess.” You’re hoarse when you speak. 
“Elaborate. What does alright mean for you?” 
You pick at your fingers, “I’m not… I don’t wanna, like, kill myself… if that’s what you’re asking. The ball’s in their court now, I guess. I’m… I’m just alright.” Your shoulders bounce in a shrug. 
“Has anyone answered?” Your head shakes in denial. “Don’t let that jeopardize your progress. However they react to you contacting them is not on you anymore. They either accept it or they don’t, and they’re valid in both options.” 
Dr. Brown pauses and eyes you skeptically, “What?” You ask. 
She shrugs, “One person isn’t on your making amends list.” 
Your reply is immediate, “Probably for a reason.” 
“Do you remember what you told me during our first meeting?” 
Irritation boils under your skin. “I see where you’re taking this conversation and I’m not messin’ wit’ it… Respectfully. Next topic, please.” 
Her hands raise in surrender, “Ay’, I’m not here to make you do diddly-squat. Merely providing perspective.” 
“Right.” 
“You did beat that girl to a pulp, though. I will say— “
“It’s what she deserved.” You say flatly. “She… humiliated me, and when her bitch left, she tried to come back to me. Get me pregnant— “
“Chile, I’m not tryna hear all that— “
You scoff and fall back in your seat, cushions and pillows molding with the curve of your spine. Dina bringing her happy ass to your father’s home after his death was one of the most infuriating experiences of your entire goddamn life. The second you opened the door, you were met with wildfire and permanently scarred. The least you could do is give her a fucking black eye. 
What you did after that… you’ll never regret. Ever. She can blast you on Twitter all she wants; She’s dead to you. 
Dr. Brown sips on her black tea with a pointed stare, “Yes, ma’am?” You say sarcastically. 
“Watch that tone,” That look in her eye… she meant that. You’ll be quiet. “She was wrong for what she did, but you ain’t innocent.” 
“I’m sorry, but I disagree. That one… she can choke. I don’t care.” Dr. Brown is disappointed by your answer, but frankly, you don’t care. That ship sailed and sank like the goddamn Titanic. 
She seems disappointed in your answer, but she lets it go. “… Alright, then.” 
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On the brink of a heart attack perfectly explains how Ellie’s been feeling for the past week. The number of times she’s reread your fucking email is genuinely embarrassing, but she’s weighing her options: she either blocks you or accepts your offer. She's never been so conflicted in her life. She desperately needs a fucking break. 
She never takes Saliyah and Yuki up on their offers to turn up on Friday nights, but her rampant emotions backed her into a corner… and now she’s tipsy on the dancefloor of some rinky-dink club. One night of release wouldn’t hurt. 
Ellie really wishes she had a grilled cheese. They’re quite delicious… Probably not the thoughts she should be having with a hot older woman pushing back on her to fucking T-Pain, but she’s hungry! Liquor gives her the appetite of a fucking rhinosaurous, what can she say! 
Saliyah and Yuki are handling business for her, though, giving the lady’s ass very encouraging slaps every time their hips connect. Ellie probably looks like a fucking dumbass as she pumps her fist in the air like an old man, but she can’t remember the last time she partied. Sue her! 
It’s not until the woman stands upright, her sweaty, nearly bare back pressed against Ellie’s button-up, an arm coming up to loop around her neck, slightly shifting her bow tie that Ellie freezes, her fists clenching even tighter in the air. Her core gives a sharp squeeze when she feels sticky, glossed lips imprint on her throat. Her eyes bulge as she frantically searches for guidance from her friends, but they’re no fucking help, as usual! What the hell is miming sex and eating pussy going to do for her? She can barely breathe. 
Her friends shoot her finger guns in encouragement before heading back to the bar. A tongue darts out to lap up her anxiety-induced sweat, and her body tremors, her hands untwisting to land on the girl’s jean covered hips for leverage. She feels teeth beam on her neck and her entire body flushes. 
“You’re adorable!” Ellie hears her scream over the blasting music. Her tongue jumbles as she searches for a reply, but nothing leaves. She just drops her head onto the woman’s shoulder… and nearly flat lines when she eyes the cleavage sitting taut in her halter top. Her heart’s pulses synch with the ones from her clit when the woman giggles. Ellie’s ninety-five-point six percent sure that her nipples are poking through her shirt. 
Her teeth sink into the inside of her cheek when the woman spins to face her, chest to chest, noses almost touching. The woman’s gaze drops to her neck, cunning as a fox as she undoes the first button of her shirt before unraveling the loop of her bow tie. She leans in, wafts of cinnamon flooding Ellie’s nostrils. 
“Come to the bathroom with me?” Ellie’s nodding before the lady can conclude the purr in her ear. Her hand gets snagged and she’s being dragged through the hot crowd, all the way to the back of the club and shoved into the giant restroom. She finally takes in the goddess in front of her: dark hair, plump lips, pretty lashes. The wrinkles by her eyes and laugh lines are sending dopamine alarms in her brain. 
Ellie receives one gentle kiss that makes her hips
grind forward before she hears, “You ever been tied up?” The raven-haired woman mumbles against her mouth. She whines, cheeks burning, “N-No,” she whispers. 
Her perfect teeth shine, “You wanna be?” 
Does she? “I — yeah, I guess?” 
“Put your wrists together,” she hums and Ellie does. Her own bow tie gets looped and twisted around her nimble hands. The woman drops to her knees in front of the trembling girl, massaging her thighs over her jeans, planting kisses all over them, “You gotta name, honey?” 
“Ellie… M’Ellie…” The woman’s hands creep up to unbutton her jeans, the soft hiss of the zipper, “What’s yours?” She only receives a shrug. “Whatever you want it to be.” Her jeans are yanked down seconds later, her… fucking Cartoon Network boxers drenched all the way through. The woman giggles and calls Ellie a cutie pie and her clit jumps. 
Her manicured nails hook under the band of Ellie’s boxers, slowly inching them down until her soft, sticky hairs are on display and her boxers are around her knees, “Gonna let me eat this pussy out, angel?” 
Ellie’s vision whites out. Only for a second, “Y-Yes, ma’am…”
Ellie’s sopping lips and pulled apart, her red, throbbing clit on display for the fucking witch in front of her. “You’re so fuckin’ cute. Anybody ever play with this pretty cunt?” Reality crashes down on her like a boulder as images of you touching her, kissing her flash before her eyes. Her jaw slacks as her words flurry. 
“Just — fuck, just one time.” 
“Yeah?” She coos, massaging gentle circles on her clit, “I'm your lucky second?” Ellie nods frantically. Her knees buckle when a sharp slap lands on her pussy, “Ffuck—“ The strokes on her clit are punishing, fast and non-stopping, the woman’s teeth gritted when she asks, “Steppin’ out on your girl, huh?” 
Ellie moans around her denial while her cheeks glow, “N— agh, s-shit, wasn’t m’girl—“
“Yeah? She touch you like me?” The woman snickers, and Ellie burns red. She’s already so close and she can’t fucking think, “Think m’cummin’—“ Ellie slurs, her tongue thick in her mouth as her walls squeeze down, desperately trying to pull something, anything in as deep as possible. 
“Can feel it. Tell me when.” But Ellie couldn’t. Her orgasm crashes into her like a fucking truck and her body falls forward, legs trembling as it wracks through her in harsh waves. The thighs that try to close are forced open, sharp stings radiating off her skin from the nails that pierce them. Strong suctions attack Ellie’s clit and she sobs, practically riding the woman’s face. Vibrations from satisfied hums stimulate her further, and she swears she’s going to pass out. 
The pleasure builds all over again and her eyes squeeze shut, her hips thrusting forward and into the woman’s mouth. Her optics cycle into her skull when the space right below her clit gets stimulated just right and she rides that edge all over again, but this time, it’s stronger. The woman’s groaning in her pussy like she’s starving, and Ellie can barely garble her warning of another orgasm. 
She squeaks when a gentle finger slides between her walls and she wishes it felt like yours did. Ellie’s bound hands entangle in the soft locks and pull, pushing her head any which way to guide her where she needs. She doesn’t register that she’s whining your name until the woman asks, “Tha’s your girl?” Right on her pussy, and Ellie tips.
She’s so loud when she explodes all over this stranger’s face, wetness coating her inner thighs, dripping all the way down to the bottoms locked around her ankles. You take refuge in the nasty side of her brain as she envisions you between her legs, you making her feel this good. Something about the way you touch her… She thinks it's impossible to replicate till this day. 
When Ellie comes down, she falls against the door, relishing in the steady kitten licks on her twitching bud. One last gentle kiss, and the woman separates from the mess between Ellie’s thighs, chest wet with her juices. 
“Good, honey?” 
Ellie blinks like she’s risen from the dead, short hair clinging to her forehead. She shoots the woman two thumbs up and she chuckles, untying Ellie’s hands and helping her back onto her feet. The woman helps her redress after she cleans herself up, and Ellie’s nose twitches when her own stickiness latches onto her clothes. Her arms fall back to her sides when her belt gets secured. 
She’s winded when she finally speaks, “Um… thanks…” How the fuck does Ellie say goodbye to someone who sucked her soul out?
“No problem…” The woman’s warm hands are soft as they push away damp strands from Ellie’s forehead. The freckled girl nearly purrs. Call her Pickle at this point. 
Ellie steps away from the door so that the fucking seductress can exit. The woman backs away and unlocks the door with a gentle smile. “You should text her.” 
Ellie’s stomach churns. “… What.” 
“The girl that’s not your girl.” That’s the last thing she says before stepping out. Ellie’s heart plummets when her eyes lock with Saliyah’s, then Yuki’s. Her friends gawk at her disheveled appearance, lipstick stains littered all over her button up. Ellie’s not nearly as embarrassed as she should be; All she can think about is you. 
“I think I’m in trouble.” Ellie states mindlessly.
“Doesn’t look like it.” Yuki snickers and pulls Ellie out of the bathroom. She hides her face when she’s met with the long line of people desperately needing to piss. 
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WEEK SEVEN WITH DOCTOR BROWN.
“You look bright.” 
You feel brighter. Just a little bit. You’ve finally gotten your locs retwisted. 
“Amaya texted me back.” Dr. Brown seems impressed at your statement, happy for you. A small smile makes its way onto your face. 
“Yeah? What’d Ms. Producer say?” 
“She, um… She wants to have dinner.” 
“Oh? And what’d you say?” 
“I said of course and then sobbed until I got here.” Dr. Brown chuckles, “When’s the big meal?” 
“In two days. I got a hotel near where she’s at, so… Yeah. Probably won’t see me for a little.” 
“Good for you, honey.” She says proudly, “Heard from any others?” Your head shakes. It’s not surprising that Abby and Ellie haven’t reached out to you. They don’t owe you any closure, even though it took you a while to accept your karma. 
“Progress is progress, nonetheless.” Her tone reverts back to stern, “Remember… when you see that girl, don’t expect anything to come from it. She’s going out of her way to speak with you, not the other way around.” 
Your head bows shamefully. You're incredibly nervous to see your best friend… if you deserve to call her that anymore. Anxiety isn’t foreign to you, but you’re anticipating the worst for your meeting. You’d give anything to mend your relationship with Amaya, but how’re you going to be able to overcome the guilt of abandoning her?
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You can’t remember the last time you went to the campus coffee shop. 
When Amaya sent you her new address in the middle of your old college city, you sobbed for half an hour. You’re not sure why considering the entirety of your graduating class is gone (hopefully in hell); It’s a mix of emotions coming back here. The baristas that used to work here have been replaced with new bushy-tailed freshmen with under eye bags. The coffee isn’t the best, but it’s oddly nostalgic. You feel fucking old just looking at their bright customer service smiles.
Your attention gets snagged away from your steaming cup when a sharp gasp echoes from behind you, nearly spilling your drink all over your flannel when someone calls your name. Anxiety spikes in your gut when you see… 
Who is that? 
“Oh my goodness! Sweetheart!” An older woman with gray hair and a cardigan places her hand on your shoulder and your eyes bulge out of your skull. “It’s so good to see you!”
What the fuck is going on? “You... You, too, uh… ma’am!” You put on the most believable smile you can. Is your memory really this fucking bad?
“Students don’t usually stick around after this long! Our major was pretty small, you know how it is.” Major… Students… Graphic design… Professor! Your memory clicks but her name doesn’t. What the fuck is this woman’s name! You feel like a cunt all over again! 
“I’d love to catch up if you’re sticking around!” 
“Um… yeah, of course.” Her smile is bright when she enters the line. Relief floods through you when she gets to the service counter and one of the baristas says good morning, Professor Meyers! 
You silently thank the Lord. 
-
-
“What brings you back to town, honey!” Professor Meyers asks excitedly. 
“Um… just missin’ school, I guess.” You lie. Fuck this school. 
She swallows her sip of tea before pausing, “Wow. First time I heard that. I didn’t see you at graduation!” 
Your chest concaves and your face burns, “I, uh. I didn’t graduate. I dropped out.” Professor Meyers' expression drops, pity written all over her face. 
“Wh— Why?” 
You shut down her interrogation, “I just… stuff happened. I couldn’t handle everything all at once.” Her eyes sadden and she places a comforting hand on top of yours. 
“I’m so sorry, honey. Whatever it was… I hope it’s okay, now.” 
“Getting through it.” You shrug, feigning nonchalance. The air is suddenly suffocating. 
“Y’know… if you’re interested…” Professor Meyers’ tone is suggesting. Your brow quirks at the woman plotting in front of you. 
“Some of the art profs are always looking for some extra help for the introductory courses. Your rough drafts were always pretty spectacular.” 
Your body burns. “Thank you.” 
She smiles and reaches into her bag in the other chair, pulling out a small card and handing it to you. “This is my contact information. I can set you an interview with Professor Ronson if you’d wanna join the little alumni support team.” 
You accept her card, “But I’m not… I didn’t graduate— “
“Oh, hush now! If you go to college, you’re an alumni! These exclusive rules are outdated!” Professor Meyers stands with her bag and tea. “I gotta run, but please consider it! It could be a great marketing opportunity for you!” 
You're left to simmer in your thoughts as she rushes out of the cafe. You didn’t even have the chance to tell her that you haven’t touched a canvas since your father’s funeral. 
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You waltz into the upscale restaurant with tied lungs. Prepping an outfit for tonight was a hassle; You were forced to rummage through your father’s closet for suitable attire. You can’t remember the last time you made a purchase for yourself. 
You feel out of place standing here with the… upper class. They’re dressed to the nines and it’s incredibly intimidating. Your eyes cast downward to your wrinkly shirt and blazer; Why didn’t you bring a fucking iron? 
“How can I help you, miss?”
Your eyes bulge when they lock with the host’s and gut churns with discomfort. Your legs wobble closer to the counter, “I— there’s… reservation…”
The host stares at you with utter confusion, “Oh, sure! What’s the name?” 
“Um… Amaya— “
“Ms. Robinson?” The host’s eyes fill with glitter, “Oh my gosh, when I saw her walk in earlier, I was like, no way she’s actually here. This is crazy! But it was really her! I couldn’t believe— “
Another host interjects, “My apologies, ma’am! She’s a bit, uh, excited. Your table is right this way.” The host begins walking, and your feet move on autopilot, “Would you like a menu?” 
“No. I’m good, thanks.” You won’t be able to keep anything down anyway. 
You move through bustling walkways, ears filled with bouts of obnoxious laughter and corny jokes with each table you pass. 
Your heart stutters in your chest when you see the isolated leather and rosewood booth where Amaya sits, her back to you. There’s two glasses and a bottle of… something on the table. 
“Ms. Robinson! Your guest is here!” 
Amaya, filled glass in hand, cranes her neck and meets your flitting gaze. Her eyes are stagnant, unmoving, and your nerves wrack. She looks fucking immaculate with the slit in her black dress, smokey makeup, heeled
shoes. She’s dressed down for a fucking funeral. Yours. 
You’re actually not ready to see her. You’re not ready at all. 
-
-
“You want a glass?” 
Amaya’s tone is cold. Colder than the dripping neck of the bottle right in front of you. “N-No thank you.” 
She scoffs laughter around the rim, “Shocking.” You scramble for a reply, anything to say to the woman oozing impatience in front of you. 
“I’m sorry.” You whisper. She sets her glass down with an unsteady clink. 
“You said that already.” She states, brown eyes sharp. “Why are you?” 
You scratch at your ear, trying to mask the tremors in your fingertips, “Because… I — I wasn’t…” 
“I don’t hear from you for months,” She spits, “And then I get a phone call from my drunk best friend screamin’ at me, tellin’ me that I fucking left her to grieve by herself… because I’m selfish and money hungry… Right?”
Angry tears sizzle in Amaya’s eyes as she continues, “And I still come and visit you… only to get a door slammed in my fuckin’ face.” 
You’re completely frozen; You can barely look her in the eye. Your hands are clenched together under the table, nausea creeping up your throat. “I… there’s no excuse for what I did— “
Amaya’s eyes are void, “Why did you do it.” 
“I don’t know how to explain it,” you rush out, desperate. You’re losing her, “He — I was just — I couldn’t control myself and I screamed and yelled and blamed everyone for what happened. I was just so mad and I couldn’t stop— “
“Abby called me two days ago.” 
You gasp, “S-She did—?” 
“She told me she hated you.” Amaya says plainly. The remaining shards of your heart dissipate like dust, leaving your mouth when you whimper, “O-Okay.” Tears stream down your cheeks and neck, harsh sniffles filling the small corner of the restaurant. “She hasn’t, um… never mind.” That’s why she hasn’t reached out, you suppose. Well deserved. 
“I don't… hate you, you know that, right?” 
You sob, palms in your eyes, “S’okay if you do. I deserve it.” 
She shrugs, “I don’t. I’m just very disappointed in you.” You nod in agreement, in understanding. You accept that this is probably the last time you’ll ever see someone you considered a sister. 
“I’m so sorry, May— “
“M’gonna head out. I’m,” She wipes a tear and grabs her bag, throwing a hundred-dollar bill on the table. “I… I don’t hate you.” You cry as you watch Amaya gather herself, stand, and leave without another word. You heave and attempt to dry your face with the fresh napkin but they won’t stop flowing. 
It’s difficult, accepting that you’re undeserving. That you’ve dug yourself into a hole that you can’t escape. It’s dark and cold and you’re desperate for comfort but it never comes because you chased it all away. You eye the tall bottle that sweats; Very tempting, but you leave it where it stands. The blame for your downfall is yours to take; The only reward you can receive now is from your upkeep. To dig yourself out from beneath the maggot-infested dirt. To resurface and recover what you can. 
You’re unsure how long you sit here crying. Devastation sets hard in your tummy when you stand to leave the restaurant, ignoring the judgmental stares from the annoying, old fuckers that wouldn’t stop glaring at you. 
The air outside is fresh and soothing as you walk, right past your parked car. Past the young people mingling and taking pictures. Past the girl doing graffiti on the old building across the street. Something beats in your chest when you eye her spray paint cans, brushes in her hand, the bright colors all over her bare arms. Her passion is evident, even from a distance, and you miss that. That feeling that takes over when you create something that no one else can replicate. Her style is unique to her just like yours is to you. 
Color sparks in your soul for the first time in a year, and you know what you have to do tomorrow morning. 
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taggiesss yasss n slayyyy @dyk3ang3l @ellieloml @inf3ct3dd @fromminaa @womenofarcane @sawaagyapong @mina-281 @aouiaa @bbglmfao @i00rii @sakiigami @starologist @southelroys @diddiqueen @trackinglessons @ellieswhorcrux @villainousbear @p4ison1vy @tohoko @yuckyfucky @dollyfleurs @elsbunny222 @sevsbimbo @amiorca @alittlextrahoney @gato-chino @topiatwin @r3wbeef @elliesatchel @muthafuckingstargirl
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such-expensive-mistakes · 1 year ago
Text
Superpham AU (part 6)
Masterpost
Lois prides herself at being good at rolling with the unexpected. Unfortunately, all of her experience with aliens and supervillains and magic has not prepared her for Danny.
Danny has a disconcerting habit of dropping disturbing or traumatizing information in an off-hand way, seeming to not even realize the implications of his own words. It started with what he said about the dimension he'd grown up in discriminating against people with powers, then with what he'd said about the red son and the lack of superheroes, but it just keeps happening.
Lois tries not to call attention to it, because she prefers it to the alternative, which is Danny shutting himself up in his room and refusing to talk to any of them.
Lex Luthor is on the nightly news-- as he so often is-- and Lois has to explain the man's many crimes to Danny. (No, Jon, it is not a rant.)
"Oh," Danny says. "He sounds like Vlad."
"Vlad?" Lois asks.
"Yeah, Vlad Masters. He's my godfather. He's a total fruitloop who wanted to marry my mom and make me his son."
Lois carefully does not react. She wants Danny to tell her things. She wants to know what his life was like when she wasn't in it. "That sounds..."
"Yeah, he tried to clone me. Well, I guess he succeeded, but none of them were stable except for Ellie, and she wasn't really that stable to begin with."
"Ellie?"
"Yeah, short for Danielle. She went by Dani-with-an-I for a while, but she decided she wanted her own name."
That is not the part Lois was looking for clarification on. She goes with it anyway. "Tell me about her," Lois says, and tries not to be concerned about Danny’s descriptions of a teenage girl who apparently lives and travels on her own because she doesn't like to be stuck in one place. Ellie doesn't even get the full benefit of being quarter Kryptonian, living in a world with a red sun.
The four of them are sitting down to dinner-- pizza again; one of them should probably cook sometime this week, but Lois and Clark are both on deadlines-- when Clark asks Danny more about his adoptive family, the ones he grew up with.
He looks sad, the way he always does whenever his adoptive parents come up.   Lois can hardly blame him, when he lost them in such a sudden and traumatic way.  
"They're scientists," Danny says.  "Or they were.  They studied, um, the Ghost Zone and the things that live there.  They didn't really understand it at first-- they thought all the-- um, everything from there was evil and needed to be killed, but they learned they were wrong eventually."
Lois meets Clark's eyes and knows he is as concerned about what happened before that 'eventually' as she is.  Still, neither of them comment, not wanting Danny to clam up again..
Jon, however, has no such reservations.  "That's really messed up."
Danny shrugs.  "Yeah, kind of.  They came around, though.  And I think they blamed themselves for how bad the GIW got because they were the ones who designed the weapons."
"The GIW?" Lois asks, instead of what she really wants to know, which is: Your adoptive parents designed weapons to be used against beings from another dimension??? Did they know what you were? 
"Guys in White," Danny says.  "I don't think that was their real name, but they were from the government."
"Your parents built weapons for them?" Clark asks, his tone deceptively light.  "I thought they were scientists."
"They dabbled in a lot of things.  But they were fantastic engineers."  Danny segues into a story about some of the modifications his adoptive parents made to their car, which is a topic only slightly better for Lois's heart.
Later that night, Lois is sitting in bed, checking her emails on her phone, when Clark sits down next to her and turns on the white noise machine they keep on the nightstand.  (It's the only way to have private conversations when your child-- children-- have super-hearing.)
"I'm concerned about Danny," he says.
"No shit."  The more Danny tells them about the dimension he grew up in, the more Lois hates it.  "But there's nothing we can do now except be there for him."
"I know people who have traveled across dimensions, you know," Clark says.  "I could always ask for a favor."
"You won't," Lois says.  "Because if you do, I'm going to end up committing felonies in another dimension."  
Clark smiles humorlessly. "What makes you think I wouldn't be there with you?"
"Because you're a better person than I am."  Clark never believes her when she says that, but it's true.  Clark is a fundamentally good person.  Lois tries to be a good person, but there's a reason she's not a superhero.  
-----
Kon intended to stop by Metropolis several days ago.  Or at least call Clark back.  But he’d gotten sidetracked by an earthquake in Southeast Asia, and then by Dr Light causing problems in California.  
He gets a few hours of sleep back in Smallville, then remembers that he’d planned on dropping by Metropolis and meeting Danny days before.  He walks the last few blocks to Lois and Clark’s house— flying would be way too noticeable in their neighborhood— and lets himself in.  He walks up to the living room and spots Lois there, furiously typing on her laptop.  
Kon is man enough to admit, at least within his own head, that Lois kind of intimidates him. Sure, Clark is physically stronger, but there’s an intensity to Lois that Clark lacks.  She glances up at Kon, and even though she’s smiling, he still feels pinned under her gaze.  
Kon shifts uncomfortably, reminds himself that unless he turns into a corrupt businessman or something, he’s not actually in danger from Lois Lane.  
“You here to see Danny?” she asks.
“Yeah.”  Kon shoves his hands in his jacket pockets.  “I figured I should probably meet him.”
“He’s in his room,” Lois says.  “He’s not… It’s not a good day, but maybe he’ll talk to you.  He hasn’t exactly gotten the chance to be around anyone his own age since he showed up.”
Kon knocks on the door to Danny’s room.  
“Come in,” a voice calls from inside.
Kon’s first thought is that he looks more like Clark than Danny does.  Stupid; of course he does.  He’s Clark’s clone.  But then, Jon resembles Clark almost as strongly as Kon does, so maybe it wasn’t a completely stupid thought.
Danny is sprawled on his stomach across his bed, phone in his hand.  There’s a video playing on it— someone talking about the history of the Justice League— but he’s ignoring it, watching Kon with a wary expression.  The room is still as bland as it ever was; other than the clothes tossed haphazardly on the floor, there’s no sign a teenage boy lives here.
“I’m guessing you’re Kon?” 
“That’s me.”  They stare at each other awkwardly for a moment.  
“Have you actually seen any of Metropolis, or have you just been hanging out in here?” Kon asks.
“Lois took me shopping for some stuff,” Danny says.
“Okay, no,” Kon says.  “You have got to get out of this house.”  
“You don’t even live in Metropolis,” Danny says.  
Kon shrugs. “Doesn’t matter; I’ve spent more time here than you.” There’s an old-school arcade he’s been to a handful of times, and a couple of places to eat.  Anything has got to be better than Danny hanging out and brooding in this sad bedroom by himself.
It's a warm day outside.  The sun shines down on the two of them as they walk in near-silence toward downtown.  The awkward silence doesn't quite break until they're at the arcade, competing on an old racing game.  
"I don't think we have this one in my dimension.  The other dimension.  Whatever."  Danny says.
"Yeah?"  Kon speeds ahead of Danny in the game, just in time to cross the finish line.  Danny groans.
"Yeah, but this world doesn't seem to have Doomed, either," Danny says as they start another race.  "There's a lot of little differences like that."
"That's gotta be weird," Kon says.  
"Yeah, Clark kind of freaked out when I told him the sun there was red."
Yeah, Kon can see why.  They talk more as they play more video games, and Danny tells Kon about his friends and what they'd do when they were hanging out in his hometown of Amity Park.  The main people he talks about are his best friends, Sam and Tucker, and his older sister, Jazz, but he mentions a few others.  
"Wait, who is Ellie again?" Kon asks, after Danny shares a story about a prank she pulled on another kid at Danny's school.  They've left the arcade, and are hanging out at the diner a few blocks away.  It's not the coolest place-- in fact, it looks like a grandmother decorated it-- but Clark introduced Kon to it, and it has great food.
"Oh, I didn't tell you?" Danny asks.  "She's my clone."
Kon chokes a little on his soda.  "You have a clone?"
-----
Danny is probably being paranoid.
Scratch that, he's definitely being paranoid. Lois and Clark have been nothing but nice, and they're clearly used to weird things happening. Like, even aside from the whole alien superhero thing, Lois just saw a kid fall out of a portal and decided to help?  Plus, Clark is an actual superhero.  
Even his— the Fentons came around on the whole “ghost powers” thing.  Eventually.  But he’s gotten used to hiding, to trying to blend in.  
(And what had them accepting him done for them in the end?  They’re dead, the GIW killed them.)
He’d rather hide than suddenly discover that Lois and Clark aren’t cool with their long-lost son being half dead.
Some of his powers he can pass off as Kryptonian— super strength, flight, enhanced senses.  He knows Lois saw his ghost form, and though she hasn’t asked about it, he’s pretty sure it’s just a matter of time.  
These thoughts circle through his mind over and over, only leaving him temporarily when he’s hanging out with the Lane-Kents.  
His bio family.  
That’s not much better, though; there’s a sadness in Lois and Clark’s eyes whenever they look at him, although they try to hide it.  Jon just a kid, and clearly doesn’t know what to make of the whole situation.  Lois keeps saying they are going to introduce him to more people, especially people his own age, but Danny shies away from that.  He doesn’t want to meet more people.  He doesn’t want to get comfortable here.
Still, he’s glad he came out with Kon.  An afternoon of videogames and greasy food hasn’t solved any of his problems, but it’s a nice break, and Kon has already promised to introduce Danny to his friends— a whole team of teenage superheroes.
“I can’t get over how many heroes there are here,” Danny says.  “Like, why do you even need that many?”  Sure, it would have been nice to have some more backup when he was Phantom, but in this world there seems to be at least one superhero for every major city, plus some extra.
Kon shrugs. “Natural disasters, alien invasions, supervillains, street crime… No one can handle all of it.”
Out of all the things he’s encountered so far in this dimension, this might be Danny’s favorite.  Even more than the proven existence of aliens.  Back home, Amity Park needed Phantom, even if they hated him.  But the world here doesn’t need Phantom.  
It’s kind of freeing, and Danny hates it.  He doesn’t want to like anything about this dimension more than his own.  
Would it really be that bad?  You might be stuck here forever, a little voice inside his head whispers.  
He ignores it.
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everydayyoulovemeless · 8 months ago
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FO4 companions attempting to give Sole a haircut but they fuck it up really bad? I just got back from a horrible hairdresser visit and I need the cope
Fo4 Companions Accidentally Giving Sole A Bad Haircut
➼ Word Count » 0.8k ➼ Warnings » None ➼ Genre » Platonic/Romantic, Hurt/Comfort? ➼ A/N » It's been a few months since you've requested this so I'm praying you're feeling better now!
You know MacCready messed something up when he begins chuckling nervously, rests a shaky hand on your shoulder, and starts talking way more than usual. He tries to stall you looking in the mirror for as long as possible but, when you eventually do, he’s biting his fist in awkwardness. He won’t lie, this is not his best work, but he never promised perfection. Nevertheless, he feels awful for what he’s done and will let you wear his hat to cover it until it grows back.
Nick will tell you flat out when he messes it up. He'll sigh apologetically, saying he should've just waited to have Ellie cut it or, I don't know, taking you to Kathy and John's Super Salon, right across the street from his agency. He doesn't do anything more to it and takes you straight to the salon to see if you can't salvage it. He feels awful about it, and will never touch your hair again.
Cait knows she isn't going to do a good job with it, but she doesn't tell you that and agrees to cut it anyway. Normally, when she wants to cut her hair, she'll just take any shape object she can get a hold of and start chopping away, and that's exactly what she does with you. She'll sit you down, pull out a pocket knife, and slice whole chunks off at a time. The worst part is that she's got no shame in it.
Preston will gasp quietly and cover his mouth with his hand. He refuses to move and will just stand there, completely still until you ask him what's wrong. He doesn't even know where to begin telling you how badly he's messed up and will instead, just apologize, rest his hands on the back of your shoulders, and rub reassuring circles into them with his thumbs. There are plenty of generals who don't have good hair! Nothing to fret over!
Codsworth will let out a silent 'Oh dear' and turn his buzzsaw off. Eventually, he'll begin reminding you of a separate time when you'd come back from the barber with you're hair all fucked, before explaining that he did exactly that. He tries to be light-hearted about it, but he's just as devastated as you are, possibly even more. He's a Mr. Handy, for Godsake! And he can't even do the basics!
Piper isn't even subtle about it. She'll just immediately begin comparing it to Atomites she's met through investigative journalism. She'll tell you that she's just giving you the 'wasteland special' and you shouldn't feel too upset about it. There are loads of people with this style! So, cheer up! It'll grow back!
Curie doesn't even realize she's messed anything up. In her opinion, any hairstyle any person has looks good. She doesn't quite understand the emotional attachment many people have toward it and just cuts it really short to help with mobility and whatnot. When you explain it to her, however, she starts to feel really guilty and will apologize nonstop.
Strong will just shave you bald. Now you look like him! What's there to be upset over? No support whatsoever from him.
Hancock will also just cut it with his knife, although, he's a lot more sympathetic than Cait. He'll hug you out of remorse and tell you it could be worse. You could be a ghoul and have no hair at all! Look at him! He can't even grow hair anymore so, don't feel too bad about it, alright?
Deacon will immediately fall to the ground in a squat, head in his hands as he simultaneously tries not to laugh or cry. He's cut his own hair so many times before with no issue - he cuts everyone in the Railroad's hair! - and it shatters him to know that he messed up on a craft he thought he perfected. He's supposed to be good at this! After a moment, he'll stand again and find you a wig in his collection for you to keep until your hair grows back. At least now the two of you can be wig buddies? Yay?
X6-88 will hum in defeat when he's messed it up before saying that he told you you should've gone to someone who actually knows how to cut hair. He can't comfort you for shit and probably just blames you for asking for help from someone who can't cut hair.
Old Longfellow knows how to cut hair. So, if he's messed it up, it means he was drunk. But, hey! Now you have a story to tell the folks at The Last Plank! So, he'll take you straight there so you can, hopefully, drink it off and laugh with the other regulars about it. No harm done!
Gage will tell you straight out that he's fucked it up badly, but he's not that concerned with it. If you seem upset, he'll just shrug and tell you it's not as bad as some of the other raiders in this place. If it bothers you that much, though, he'll get you a helmet for you to wear for the time being. It's safer for you anyway.
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pinkamour1588 · 3 months ago
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Firstprince Sticky Notes
I had the headcanon last night that Alex leaves and hides sticky notes all over their home. It starts when Henry is going through a depressive episode. Alex “breaks into” the brownstone. (He has a key. He just shows up uninvited and when Henry is sleeping or has managed to drag himself to work.) He puts sticky notes all over the brownstone with things that he loves about Henry, many of them come off the Incomplete List. After he sees how much Henry loves them, it becomes a thing. He starts putting the date on when he wrote the note. (Though they have a playful argument over the correct way to write the date.) He starts not only does he just stick the notes places like countertops and cabinets, he also hides them. He’ll stick one in the bottom of Henry’s sock drawer, under his laptop, inside his favorite mug, in the book Henry’s reading, in the pocket of his coat, etc. Alex takes it as a challenge to hide them as well as he can. He hides one so well that Henry doesn’t find it until they’re moving out of the brownstone. It’s dated as late Fall 2022. (As in, it’s been hidden for over three years.) It says something like “I love waking up next to you every morning. I want to do it for the rest of my life.”
Early on, they're pretty basic and just include things from the incomplete list or just say “I love you”. Over time, they become more elaborate. Some of the notes are quotes from historical love letters, like they had put in their emails. Some have song lyrics. Some have inside jokes. Some have reminders of things they’ve done together (spicy and not spicy). Some have puns Alex tries to make. The first time he stuck to Henry's favorite mug just has the description of how Henry likes his tea (how long he brews it, what he puts in his tea and how much, etc)
The notes also become color coded. 
Red is spicy things. 
Light yellow is things directly from the Incomplete List. 
Light blue is observations, like the tea or noting which sweater is Henry's favorite.
Hot pink is David related. 
Light pink is future pets. 
Purple/lavender is future child(ren)/fatherhood related. 
White is boring adulting (like reminders of appointments).
Novelty sticky notes (like taco shaped sticky notes) are mostly just “I love you” notes (written in glitter gel pen when Alex is feeling particularly extra). 
Of course, Henry eventually gets in on leaving sticky notes for Alex.* His are written on mint green sticky notes. (The date is written on those ones too.)
~~~
*This morning, I realized this is somewhat canon based on Casey’s Threads post...
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Also tagging @starkfridays cause she contributed to the discussion of this headcanon (and it seems the wonderful other people--Ellie, Ishita, and Barghav--who also contributed don't have Tumblr).
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natsukishinomiyaswife · 3 months ago
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Checking In
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Hello ♡ This fic is set in the same universe as, The Viper Club (or, The Jamil Viper Support Group) and is sort of a sequel to it. In this fic, Lydia goes around checking in with everyone (including some new OCs and pairings I didn't mention in the first fic!) ♡
OCs featured/mentioned (along with their OC x Canon) include: Yuusha (@crystallizsch) x Jamil, Mayu (@anbaisai) x Jamil, Rebecca (@0honeybones0) x Jamil, Astrid (@cheerleaderman) x Jamil, Damali (@midnightmah07) x Jamil
Silas (@theolivetree123) x Jamil, Fayrouz (@fell-e) x Jamil, Dranav (@justm3di0cr3) x Jamil, Jeanne (@midnightmah07) x Kalim, Copper (@cyanide-latte) x Kalim
Shuu (@oya-oya-okay) x Azul, Lysander (@offorestsongs) x Rook, Kiyuu (@skriblee-ksk) x Jack, Daisy (@midnightmah07) x Ruggie, Jewel (@jewelulu) x Floyd
Chris (@selfinserttothestars) x Malleus, Leota (@twsted-canvas) x Malleus, Sophie (@gl00myb3arz) x Malleus, Ellis (@starry-night-rose) x Malleus, Perse (@midnightmah07) x Idia
Yuya (@cheerleaderman) x Idia, Ryoko (@kathxrat-01), Yuu Shi (@boopshoops), Cecil (@lostonesart), Yuuki (@theolivetree123)
OCs featured/mentioned (along with their OC x Canon) that don't belong to my mutuals include (if you would like for me to remove your OC/untag you, please let me know!): Ashi (@ashipiko) x Ace, Flurin (@amatsuchan-eiliniel) x Vil, Hopper (@amatsuchan-eiliniel) x Rook
Enjoy! ♡
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"So, how's everything going?" Lydia asks, following Kalim into Scarabia. It's been a few days since everyone appeared, Crowley still looking for a way to send them home. Kalim leads her to where Jeanne and Copper are, sitting in the main room of the dorm. He laughs before he responds, a smile lighting up his face.
"Everything's going great! Jeanne and Copper are so much fun. It's interesting to hear about how things are like in their world! Though, I would have liked to throw a welcome party for them..."
Lydia smiles at this, waving to Jeanne and Copper. "That's great to hear, Kalim. Have they been joining you around campus?" Kalim nods his head, moving to sit between them.
"Yep! They come to class with me, and to my club meetings. They're even gonna attend our concert next week!" He tells her with a smile, looking between the two. Lydia frowns for a moment, the thought that they may not be here next week crossing her mind. She wasn't going to ruin the mood though, nodding her head as she tried not to think about it.
"Where's Jamil?" She asks, changing the subject as she looks around the room. "Oh, he's in the kitchen! The others are there with him." He informs her, pointing down the hall. She thanks him, nodding to Jeanne and Copper before leaving.
She heads down the hall, entering the kitchen to find Jamil in front of the stove. Some of them are helping him cook while the others watch, sitting at the table. He glances towards the doorway when he notices someone enter, his features going soft as he realized who it was.
"Hey, Jamil! I just wanted to check in and see how you were." She starts, her voice causing him to turn. While he looked tired, he seemed to be holding up alright, and everyone was accounted for.
"Yuusha... made shirts." He states, sounding tired yet... the tiniest bit fond. At least he seems to like them, she thinks, finally taking notice of the clothes they were wearing.
Each person wore a shirt that said "Jamil Support Group", with flames coming up in the background. "Oh... how creative!" She says, unsure what the proper response was. She does a double take when she notices the stuffed animal around Mayu, almost looking like a realistic snake, with a red and black pattern. Jamil noticed where her attention was and sighed, moving to the sink.
"Apparently, it's supposed to be me... they worked together to make it."
"Him!" Mayu corrected, causing Jamil to shake his head. "It's noodle Jamil." She says, introducing him to Lydia. A small smile comes to her face as she pats the stuffed snake's head, thinking to herself how cute it was.
"Has everyone been getting along alright?" She asks him, Jamil leaning closer to make his response more private. He keeps his voice low, glancing whenever he mentions someone.
"Silas doesn't seem happy, but everyone else is getting along. They've been telling each other stories about their Jamil's, and follow me around campus when I'm out."
"Most of us refer to Jamil as 'babygirl', just like I thought." Astrid chimes in, redirecting Jamil's attention.
"Don't call me that." He states, crossing his arms. With his back turned, he was unaware of Kalim coming to the doorway, having heard some of their conversation.
"If you don't like babygirl, how about habibi?" Kalim adds, Jamil's head snapping towards him.
"Don't give them ideas!"
"Oh, can I have a shirt too?" Kalim asks Yuusha, becoming distracted. Jamil shakes his head, muttering "Are you even listening to me?" before dropping the subject. He focuses back on Lydia as Kalim and Yuusha talk in the background, Rebecca and Fayrouz plating the finished food.
"So, you're checking in with everyone?"
"Yep!" She says, nodding her head. "I already checked in with Ryoko and Kiyuu, who's with Jack. I also checked in with Daisy while I was there, since Ruggie was nearby. And Malleus is taking his group to look at gargoyles, since he's curious to know if the ones we have are different from the one's in their worlds."
"Is that why Sebek's been running around campus?"
She laughs awkwardly as she nods. "Malleus didn't tell him where they were going, and he doesn't trust them yet. So he's worried about Malleus being alone with them."
Jamil's eyebrows raise at this, having seen them around campus. While he didn't know their names, they seemed harmless, and didn't mean any trouble. Lydia laughs at his reaction, having thought the same thing.
"If you've met Chris, Leota, Sophie, or Ellis, you'd know how much they care about Malleus. I mean, you could probably see it too, just by how they act around him. But, you know how Sebek is..."
Jamil nods, Lydia checking her phone for the time. "Oh, I better get going! I still have a few people I need to see." She says, walking over to the doorway. She waves goodbye to everyone, Jamil watching her go.
"Should I make a shirt for her too?" Yuusha teases, Jamil giving her a look as she smiles to herself. After a moment he shakes his head, making his way to the table. He better eat, before the food gets cold...
Lydia heads to Ignihyde next, asking Ortho how Perse and Yuya were. She felt bad for not meeting with them directly, but she didn't want to risk seeing Idia, and kept her distance from the group. Ortho informed her that they both seem to be doing well, and that they spend most of their time with him or Idia's tablet, since Idia hasn't left his room.
"The Board Game Club should have a meeting tonight, so he'll leave his room then. Have Perse and Yuya join him." Lydia tells him, with Ortho agreeing to do so.
She moved on to Pomefiore, making sure Flurin was good with Vil before looking for Rook. He wasn't at the dorm, and when she looked around campus, she found Hopper and Lysander. Just not him...
"Hmmm..." She hummed to herself, wondering where he could be. He was supposed to be watching them, after all. Wait...
"You know Rook, when I told you to look after them, I didn't mean like this!" She shouts, looking up at the trees. Rook is hidden between some branches, high enough to where you wouldn't see him at first glance. She waits a moment for him to come down, shaking her head at his explanation. She understands he's a hunter, and while she appreciates him trying to make things more exciting, she needs him to stay with them. They couldn't afford to lose someone else...
"... Actually, Rook, go back up in the trees. Maybe you can find Yuu Shi for me..."
After standing under the trees for a bit (and Yuu Shi still nowhere to be found...), Lydia moves on to Octavinelle, passing by Ace along the way.
"... Ace, where's Ashi?" She questions, noticing he was by himself.
"Oh, I think she's back with Deuce. Wh-"
"Ace, stay with Ashi... please! We've already lost Yuu Shi, we can't afford to lose someone else!" She exclaims, anxiety on her face as she grabs his jacket, shaking him as she speaks to emphasize her point.
"Woah, woah! Calm down, Lyds." He says, grabbing her wrists to make her stop. He looks down at her as he moves her hands away, doing his best to ease her worries.
"She probably went off on her own somewhere, and I doubt she's in any danger."
"Still..."
"Alright, alright. I'm going..." He puts his hands up, turning around. "I'll be back later to visit, alright?"
"Ok, sounds good!" She says, a smile coming to her face. She waves him goodbye before continuing on her way, making it to Octavinelle. She just had to check in with Shuu and Jewel, and then she could go have lunch with Cecil and Yuuki. At least, that was her plan, entering the Lounge to find Floyd had left his shift early, taking Jewel with him.
Azul spots her quickly, making his way over as Shuu followed. She's thankful he at least listened, and hasn't been using Shuu for free labor. (At least, that she knows of...)
"Lydia, do you mind?-" She interrupts him before he could finish, already knowing what he was gonna ask.
"Let me get my apron..." ♡
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Ahhhh I hope you guys like this next installment in the series! ♡ Again, I did my best to keep things vague, so that way you can insert your own dialogue/thoughts for your OCs! ♡
Thank you! ♡
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miss-oranje-disco-dancer · 3 months ago
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blue butterflies
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pairing: jackson! joel miller x reader
cws/tags: 1st person pov joel, angst, discussions of sex trafficking/sexual assault, death, mild smut, au where nothing bad happens between ellie and joel, author has not played tlou 2 yet (donate to kofi lmao), guns, alcohol consumption, light enemies to lovers, cordyceps works different in this one (more predictable and slower-acting)
summary: joel's letter to reader
a/n: i watched the beginning of tlou (joel playing guitar) and it made me cry so hard. so, this is inspired by that, but also i listened to funeral by arcade fire and for emma, forever ago by bon iver while writing this. neighborhood #4 (7 kettles) by arcade fire makes me cry so hard.
wc: 5.7k
taglist: @gothcsz @harriedandharassed @withonly-sweetheart
thank you to @jennaispunk for beta reading/proofreading !
join my taglist | purchase a commission
divider is from @danowh0re
playlist for fic: required listening!!
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I thought therapy was a bunch of bullshit - a scam at worst, a waste of my time at best. But, since you left us, Tommy’s been making me go. He keeps saying, ‘it’s what she would’ve wanted’, and I think it is. But, that doesn’t mean I like it. 
My therapist told me if I’m not gonna talk to her about my past, I should at least talk to someone. I told her I’d talk to you, if you were here. She told me it was a good idea, that I should write it out in a letter. She told me I could write to you, or to Sarah, but I figured I’d better write to you ‘cause there’s some things a daughter shouldn’t hear about her dad. Even - especially - the most fun times he’s had. I’ll get to those later. 
Did you know I hated you when we first met? I never told you, but I think you knew. I thought you were a self-important, entitled bitch who acted like she’d been through hell when I knew she hadn’t because of how well-adjusted she seemed. I thought you had some sort of unearned valor. I know that’s not the right way to put it. I think the word I’m looking for is ‘respect’. Tommy, Maria, even Ellie were so quick to respect you when I had to earn it. 
“The reason people don’t like you is because you’re an asshole,” you told me. “You’re fucking scary when you’re mad, too.”
“What’s that saying? It’s better to be feared than to be loved?”
“That’s what Machiavelli said, but that doesn’t mean he’s right.”
I think he was wrong. I was jealous of how much everyone loved you, and they didn’t love me because they feared me. You were so fucking right, and that was one of the things that I hated most about you. 
I used to think about how young you were in comparison to an old man like me, how you were only a little younger than Sarah would’ve been, and how stupid I would’ve felt if Sarah was always outsmarting me. Until I remembered all the times that Sarah did just that, and how much I loved her for it, rather than in spite of it. (Note to self: tell Sarah this in your letter to her). 
That’s not to say I loved you, not yet. I did love you, but I realized that a little later. I had to learn to like you first. 
Do you remember our first day out on patrol together? I begged Tommy to change my schedule. I would rather have spent my time with anyone else in the community -- Hell, I would’ve asked Tommy to give you a day off if it’d get me out of having to work alongside you. 
You overheard me talking to Tommy, and said to me, “You could at least wait until I’m out of earshot to bitch about me, you know?”
“I know,” I said. 
And we didn’t talk for almost the whole shift. Well, I didn’t talk, but you kept on talking, almost like you were talking to yourself. You didn’t even care that I was ignoring you. 
“It’s okay. I don’t like people either.”
“Who says I don’t like people?”
“Your face, your voice, basically your whole demeanor.”
You were so honest, and you had every right to be. It shut me right back up again. I don’t know if that’s what you wanted. Maybe you thought provoking me would make me talk, but I’m a stubborn, old asshole. I don’t think you need me to tell you that.  
“What did I do to piss you off?” You asked, after I gave you what you viewed as the silent treatment, and what I saw as peace and quiet. 
“Nothing. I just think you’re a little bit... egotistical.”
“So are you. You think you know everything.”
“No, but I know more than you. You haven’t got half the experience I have, and believe me, kid, you don’t want it.”
“You’re so melodramatic. And for what? Has the brooding bad boy behavior gotten you laid yet?”
For your information, yes, it had absolutely gotten me laid.  
But before I could tell you that, you stopped me, looked me dead in the eye, and said, “and by the way, you have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Tell me, then.”
“Tell you what?”
“About all the horrors you’ve experienced. If I’m so wrong, then prove it.” I challenged you because I thought you wouldn’t be able to come up with anything. I wouldn’t have said that if I’d known what I do now. 
You were so angry that you laughed at me. “Fuck you. You don’t deserve to know shit about me.”
A couple weeks later we knew each other’s whole life stories. I told you more than I’ve ever told anyone else, more than I think I ever will tell anyone else. It started when we got lost in the woods together. We were arguing as usual, and we only got ourselves even more lost. The sun was starting to go down, and I could see it in your eyes - you were getting scared. Maybe, for a second, I took some sort of satisfaction in knowing that you were the one who couldn’t handle it, but I’m still human - it feels a little cruel saying that now - so I wasn’t gonna let you suffer. 
“It’s not gonna do us any good to keep arguing, so can we agree to drop it?”
“Truce,” you said, holding out your hand, and when I shook it, you added, “but let it be known that you surrendered.”
“Don’t push it. You know if we stay out here long enough that we have to resort to eating each other’s flesh, you’re gonna be my dinner, not the other way around.”
“I hope I taste good.” 
You did, baby. You’re the sweetest thing I’ve ever tasted. 
I think we had our first date that night. Sort of. It was late when we got back. Most people were asleep, and the bar was closed, but you had the key. 
“Tommy gave you a spare key?”
“Uh-huh. I assumed you had one too, but I guess I’m the favorite.”
“You’re prettier than me. Of course, you are.” 
I still can’t believe I said that -- I wasn’t even drinking yet. I can be a real idiot when I’m talking to a beautiful woman. 
“Don’t be so hard on yourself. You looked very pretty when you bothered to wash your hair last week.”
“I wash my hair, okay? Sorry I’m old and don’t wake up looking like a supermodel.”
“Who does?”
“I know you want me to say ‘you’, but I’m not taking the bait.”
“That’s okay. I know you’re thinking it, and that’s what matters.”
I was thinking much more than that, darling. 
You walked behind the counter, and asked me, “what do you drink?”, and I think that was the moment I knew I liked you. You could’ve --should’ve -- told me to fuck off. You had other friends (not that we were quite ‘friends’), but you chose me that night. I was a real fixer-upper of a companion, but maybe you liked a challenge. 
“Whiskey. Neat.”
You gave me that look -- that fuckin’ look -- that raised eyebrow and a tiny smirk. And it made me feel like a teenager caught staring at his crush. 
“Please and thank you," I added. 
You got up on the stool behind the bar, grabbed the bottle on the top shelf, and said, “you deserve it.”
“No, I don’t,” I said. “But I’ll take it.”
You sat beside me, and sipped your whiskey. (And you looked pretty hot doing it.) After a good minute of silence you said, “thank you for not killing me and eating me in the woods.”
“I’d get pretty goddamn bored if I didn’t have you yapping in my ear constantly.”
“I thought you hated it.”
“Only sometimes.”
“Then, why don’t you ever talk to me?”
“I’m talking to you right now.”
“Barely.”
So, I turned to you, put my elbow on the counter, laid my head in my hand, and gave you the same face you were giving me. I tried to pretend I was mocking you, but I think you knew I was trying to practice being more likable, being more like you. 
“Tell me something,” you said.
“What do you want me to tell you?”
“Tell me about you.”
“My name is Joel Miller-”
“We’re not at AA.”
“You’re goddamn right we’re not. This would be the shittiest AA meeting ever.”
“Okay, okay. How about you tell me when your birthday is?”
“September 26th, 1981.”
“So, you’re a Libra.”
“Oh c’mon, tell me you’re not into that shit. I was finally starting to tolerate you.”
“I’m a Cancer.”
“Tell me something I don’t know.”
“Cancer like the crab, not like the disease!”
“Mm-hmm. I’m sure you’re familiar with crabs as well.”
I got a laugh and a smack on the arm in return, and the laugh was worth the smack. 
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. I know you can’t help being an asshole, so at least you’re making me laugh.”
I didn’t realize your hand was still on my arm until you asked me, “What’d you do before this? You’ve got nice arm muscles.”
“I worked in construction, I was a contractor.”
“Like a carpenter?”
“Yeah.”
“That’s what Jesus was. I bet he had good arm muscles.”
“I don’t think that’s his most notable feature, but sure, why not?”
Despite the fact that we were talking all things Jesus, you were feeling me up. And you weren’t subtle about it at all. 
“Do you wanna play darts?” you asked, breaking the tension.
“Okay.”
You walked up to the dartboard all confident, and I expected an instant bullseye. You’d only had one drink and you were focusing so hard, practicing the swing of your arm like a golfer would. The first shot missed the board entirely.
And that’s when I learned you were awful at darts. 
“You’re terrible at this.”
“Yeah, I know.”
“Then, why’d you ask me to play?”
“For fun. Plus, how else am I gonna get better?”
You weren’t even close to the bullseye. You weren’t even hitting the board at all half the time. Over the next couple of years, you got better, not a lot better -- I still won every game we ever played -- but you got closer. But, close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades, as they say. It probably counts in terms of people too -- I like to think our closeness counted for something, even if it couldn't last forever.
“You’re lucky you’re pretty," I said.
“You’re lucky you’re good at darts," you fired back.
“Is that an insult? Because I’m holding a sharp object and I’ve got good aim.” And with that, I threw the final dart, hit the bullseye, and won. “What do I get?”
“For what?”
“Winning.”
“You get to keep your pride.”
I was happy with that, but you turned back to me, stepped closer and whispered, “and this,” before you kissed me. 
I don’t know which one of us was more nervous. All I knew was that I liked you a lot more when you were quiet. All I heard from you was a little gasp when I lifted you onto the counter so I could keep kissing you without having to lean down and hurt my back ‘cause I’m an old man. I really thought my brooding bad boy look was gonna get me laid again that night, but you stopped me before I could get your top off. 
“Uh-uh,” you said. “You’re gonna have to do more than beat me at darts if you want more than a kiss.”
“Fair enough. What’s your price?”
“I’m not a hooker.”
I didn’t understand why you looked so upset until that day by the water when you told me. I’m sorry I said that, I really am.
“Sorry. What I should’ve said is, ‘Can I take you to dinner on Friday?’”
You gave me a nonchalant ‘sure’, and I assumed you’d keep it hush-hush, but you bragged about getting asked out. Why would you brag about me? That's something I still don't understand.
The next day, I went and asked Tommy for advice because I hadn’t dated in a long time, and he’s more of the romantic type. I thought our dinner date would be news to him, but you’d already told him. 
“Yeah, I know. She came in here asking for advice too actually.” 
He’s got a bigger mouth than you do. That’s why you two got along so well -- you were like those little old ladies gossiping at the hair salon. 
“What’d she say?”
“I’m sworn to secrecy.”
But Tommy always had a certain loyalty to you. He keeps your secrets to this day -- some of ‘em. 
“Give me some advice, please.”
“You were married once. You won a woman’s heart. Just do what you did back then.”
“I think you’re forgetting the fact that my marriage ended in divorce.”
“Just be yourself.”
“That’s bullshit.”
“Yeah, it is. How about smiling for once?”
I tried, but I’d almost forgotten how to over the years. 
Tommy feigned disgust and said, “I take it back. Keep your usual pissed-off look.”
You taught me how to smile again. I don’t know that you meant to do it, but you did. Tommy says he knows when I’m thinking about you because of the way I smile. 
When I came over to pick you up for dinner, you opened the door wearing a bathrobe with your hair in curlers. I guess I was looking at you funny because you made sure to tell me, “Don’t worry, I’m not wearing this out. Go sit in the living room.”
“I’m not worried. You look beautiful already.”
“I do not. I look like my grandmother.”
“I imagine she must’ve been a hot commodity then.”
“She was actually -- or at least, that’s the story she used to tell us. She was Prom Queen and all that jazz.”
You could talk for hours, about anything. I could say one word and you could give me a tangentially related 20 minute long monologue. You were a good storyteller. I don’t think I ever told you this, but I used to think about how you’d be great at making up stories for our kids one day -- if we ever had them. I know I told you I didn’t want to have any, but that’s one of the few lies I told you. I was too scared to imagine that kind of a future with you. 
I had you in the present, and that’s what I cared about. I don’t remember what you wore that night because I spent most of our date looking at your face, trying to memorize every dimple, freckle or scar I could see. All the details.
I’m sure your dress fit perfectly, but what I cared about was how your hand felt when I took it in mine as we walked to the restaurant -- it felt right, more so with our fingers intertwined on the way home. 
It was one of the longest dinner dates in my not-so-long history of dating as it took you quite a while to finish your meal because you don’t talk with your mouth full (usually). I think our waitress was mad that we were there for so long. They were cleaning up by the time you were done eating. 
I don’t remember all the things you said. Even if I did, I don’t have enough paper to write it all down. But I do remember when you asked me, “Can I tell you a secret?” 
“Sure.” 
“This is my first date.”
I would’ve been less surprised if you’d told me you’d killed someone.
“Mine too,” I said. 
“Liar! Tommy said you were married... before all of this.”
“Does Tommy tell you everything about me?”
“No. He wouldn’t tell me when your birthday was. That’s why I asked you.”
“That’s ‘cause he forgot it.”
Really, I wanted to know if he told you about Sarah, or if I’d have to do it myself. Both. As it turned out, he told you before we ever really met. I told you by the river, but that came later. 
When I walked you home, we lingered by your door, and when I leaned in to kiss you goodnight, you turned your head, and I should’ve realized how special you were to me ‘cause I felt my heart sink. But, you asked me to come inside. You were always shy about kissing in public, but not on your living room couch. 
When we were inside, you let me take off your dress, but only after I agreed to take off my shirt. 
“Jesus,” you said when you watched me undress. 
“We talked enough about Jesus last time. It’s about you and me now, baby.”
I learned to be a gentleman growing up in Texas, that wining and dining a lady includes putting her first in the bedroom too. But you called the shots -- that night and all of the others we had together. You got down on your knees and gave me the most irresistible face. It was embarrassing how quickly I came. It’s still embarrassing, and you’re not even here to tease me about it anymore. I thought I’d get the chance to prove myself to you that night, but you stopped me. I remembered what you said, ‘this is my first date’, and I assumed you were a virgin. 
It was about a week later when I was trying to teach you how to skip rocks in the river that I asked you if you were one. 
“It’s not a big deal if you are -- not to me, I mean. I just figured maybe because you said that was your first date.”
“It’s kind of a long story, so take a seat if you want the answer.”
I don’t know what I expected you to say, but I already felt like I’d fucked up by asking. I didn’t want to make this mess I’d gotten myself into worse than it already was, so I sat next to you and waited for you to speak. 
“It’s not actually a long story, I guess. Just a sad one.”
It was the first sad story you told me, and you told me more stories than I’d ever been told by anyone else at this point. It was impressive how many happy ones you held onto, especially after everything that you told me that day. 
You didn’t look at me while you spoke. You mumbled and picked at the grass beneath you. Like a child. 
“I’m not a virgin, but I wasn’t lying when I said that was my first date. There’s just some stuff that you don’t know about me... ‘cause I didn’t want you to know these things about me. But it’s not like I was ever gonna get away with not telling you. It’s better that it happens now anyway.”
You started to cry, so I put my hand on your shoulder, but you shrugged it off. I was so used to the one doing the pushing away that being pushed away was jarring. 
“Before I came to Jackson, I used to do things for money. Those sorts of things. It’s not like I wanted to, ‘cause I’m not like that, you know.”
You explained how you’d lost both your parents by the time you were 16 and didn’t have any siblings, so you ended up with whatever friends you could find. Some of the few good people that were left. 
“There was a group of men who killed my friends just to loot their pockets, but they realized that it’d be more profitable to keep me alive.”
“So they forced you to...”
“Have sex for supplies, yeah. One of them was my first time, I guess. They did that stuff for a while, but once I’d been with a decent amount of men, they decided I was too ‘used up’ or something to be worth having sex with. I can’t decide if that made me feel better or worse. On the one hand, I didn’t have to have sex with them anymore, but I was also too gross to be wanted.”
“’Used up’ is bullshit. Back when the world was a little more civilized, those bastards could’ve gone to jail.”
“They’re dead.”
“Did you kill ‘em?”
“No, but I thought about it all the time. I remember thinking about strangling a man once. He was alone, so no one would’ve seen me do it, and the guys could’ve taken all of his shit too. They probably would’ve been happy if I had. I think that’s why I didn’t.”
“If you didn’t kill them, then how did they die?”
It probably wasn’t appropriate for me to pry, but the sadistic part of me needed to know that they got what was coming for them. I needed to know there was some justice left in this world. 
“They wanted food from some guy who’d gone hunting and they tried to sell me to him, but he said ‘no’. He looked so offended that I thought I was pissed off ‘cause they’d given him a bad deal... but he shot the one standing in front of him. Then, he yelled at me to turn around and I was sure I was gonna die, but I heard him walk into the other room, another shot, and when the third walked in from outside, another shot. He walked over to me, and I started crying and begging him not to kill me. He told me he wasn’t going to, but he made me close my eyes while he led me out of the house.”
“’Cause he didn’t want you to see the bodies.”
“Yeah... and I still thought he was going to kill me, even when he took me with him on his horse, and said he was taking me back to some place called ‘Jackson’.” 
I don’t know if I would say you got a happy ending, at least, not the one you deserved, but I saw a hint of a smile when you mentioned Jackson. And you didn’t have to tell me who the man was -- I know him well. 
“Tommy,” I said, confident in my guess.
“Yeah.”
After I dropped you off at home, I went by his place and thanked him. And then I went home and cried. For the first time in a decade.
“You know it doesn’t change how I feel about you, right?”
“How do you feel about me?”
“I like you… most of the time.” 
What I meant was, I love you. I just didn’t know it yet. 
“I guess I owe you a story too, then.”
“You don’t owe me anything... but you can tell me whatever you want.”
I think part of me wanted to tell you, or at least, part of me wanted you to know. “I had a daughter.”
“I know.”
I should’ve known, considering how close you and Tommy were.
“Tommy told you, didn’t he?”
“To be fair to him, he told me he had a niece.”
“Yeah, he did. She’d be a little older than you. It’s crazy to think that she’d be in her 30s when the last time I saw her she was 13.”
“I know saying ‘I’m sorry’ doesn’t really do anything, but I’m still sorry”
“In a way, I’m glad she doesn’t have to see all these things. All the infected. She died before we ever had to go to a QZ.”
When you told me about the first QZ you lived in as a kid, it confirmed that for me. It pained me to hear about you watching your dad get bitten and leaving him behind, saying goodbye without knowing he was dying -- in one way or another. 
You told me later about how the only person you’d ever killed was your own mother, how she used to sell herself like you did, how you missed the first shot and you saw how scared she was to die. I think you had it worse than I did. 
“I think she was mostly scared because she knew I couldn’t do shit with a gun, and that I’d end up surviving the way that she did... and she was right.”
“Neither of you deserved it, and I bet she’d be proud of you now.”
“Why?”
“’Cause I’m proud of you.”
You cried, but you finally let me hold you. You cried so long that I thought you’d never stop. 
Do you remember your last day? I told you I wanted to be with you until the end, but you reminded me about your mother. You told me that even if a shot to the head had to be the way you went out, I wasn’t going to be there to give it to you. We had two choices: either wait until that day came or let you go before then. I said I wanted to go with you. I wanted to ask Tommy to give me the same cocktail he was gonna cook up for you. You said no. It was your last wish that I stayed. 
“I don’t wanna live without you.”
“I don’t wanna die, but I don’t get to choose. If I could live longer, I would. But just because I’m dying doesn’t mean you get to leave everyone else behind.”
Yeah, you brought Ellie into it. I wanted to tell you not to bring her up. I’m glad you did because as much as it hurt to think about her watching me die the way that I watched you die, it made me stay. I’m glad I stayed. Things are okay, but our last day is still my favorite day. 
We got up early and watched the sunrise, and I told you I loved you for the first time.
“I know,” you said with a smile on your face. 
“How?” 
You just lifted your coffee cup. When you moved in -- something I didn’t realize was happening ‘till it had already happened -- I started making coffee every morning before you woke up, and I started buying that French Vanilla bullshit creamer. I hated it. It was so sweet it made me nauseous. I could’ve gone and bought my own, but I’m still stubborn, I’m still a cheapskate, I’m still me -- even without you (which is something I thought I’d never be able to say). But that wasn’t why I started taking my coffee the same way you took yours.
It was one day when you’d already left for work but my shift didn’t start until later. I hadn’t slept at all the night before -- and not for any good reason, not for more time with you -- so I was tired when I woke up. I made myself some coffee, but I wasn’t even thinking straight, so I hadn’t noticed that I had put that creamer in my mug until I tasted it. But I wasn’t disgusted. I thought maybe you’d left yours behind and I’d absent-mindedly picked the wrong one up off the counter -- I very well could’ve gotten caught up in putting the toaster on the right settings (that’s something we could never agree on) -- but when I looked down, it was my mug. Yours was dirty in the sink. You were gone for the day. I was stupid to think otherwise. I was fantasizing. That was new. 
So, just as I am right now, I take my morning coffee like you took yours. It tastes like you, like you kissing me. 
I waited anxiously for you to say you loved me too. 
“Are you not gonna say it back? Do you not-- do you feel the same?”
“What do you think?”
“I hope so.”
You gestured for me to come closer so you could whisper in my ear and I thought maybe you’d give me a wet willy. But you said, “Joel Miller, I have loved you for a long time.”
I didn’t say anything. I don’t think I’ve ever been very good with words -- talking was your thing. I grabbed your hand and squeezed. We went out onto the porch and sat in silence. I wonder what you were thinking about. 
“Will you sing me something?”
You know I don’t take requests, and you know I don’t like an audience, no matter how small that audience is. 
No one would refuse the wish of a dying woman, but I couldn’t refuse you even if I knew you’d be there tomorrow and every day after. I only protest because you look cute when you beg. Not in that way -- you look hot when you beg like that. 
“What song do you want?”
“Surprise me.”
I sang Peaceful Easy Feeling because, as much as a part of me felt a sense of urgency, knowing our time was running out, most of me was just thinking about you, and I love you. Simple as that. 
You gave me a standing ovation just to see me blush. 
We all planned something special for your last dinner. I know you like simple things, so I tried to make it as simple as I could while still making it special for you. Maybe it was selfish to make it a night to remember when I’m the one who gets to remember it. 
Tommy and Maria were chef and sous-chef (you can guess who was who in that scenario), and Ellie was the waitress. 
“What are your specials tonight?” you asked. 
“We have either the steak and baked potato or the steak without the baked potato.”
“In that case, I’d like it with the baked potato.”
We probably lit a hundred candles to fill the room with enough light to see each other -- we had time while you were getting ready, since you’re a bit of a slowpoke. We picked flowers from the garden and put them in an empty wine bottle because we couldn’t find a vase, and conjured up a decent tablecloth. We had ice cream sundaes for dessert -- or at least, you did. You know what I had for dessert. 
“How about you, sir, would you like anything for dessert?” Ellie asked. 
“No, I think I’ll be having dessert when we get home.” I tried to subtly wink at you. 
“Ew! That’s disgusting. I don’t wanna hear about your sex life.”
“You’re the one assuming I was talking about sex. How do you know I don’t have a tub of ice cream waiting for me in the freezer at home?”
There was ice cream in the freezer, but the sweetest thing I’d ever tasted was between your legs. The moment we got home I picked you up bridal style and carried you up to our bedroom. 
“Baby, I know how long you spent getting ready, and I’m sorry to do this to you, but this needs to come off,” I said before I yanked down the zipper of your dress. You laughed as I ripped off your clothes. 
You gently undid my tie and when I watched you fumble with the buttons on my shirt, I said, “Just rip it, baby.”
“I don’t wanna ruin your clothes.”
“I don’t want you to worry about me or my clothes tonight. I want you to have me however you want me.”
“You’ll do whatever I want?”
“Within reason.”
“How do you feel about roleplay?”
“I suppose it depends -- what are the roles?”
“Husband and wife.”
“As long as I can be the husband.”
And then you kissed me -- with your typical tenderness but a new level of dedication. Slow and passionate, showing me what our lives could’ve been like. 
“I’m an impatient husband, and I want my beautiful wife to lie down because I think I’m gonna lose my mind if I don’t get to taste her.”
My mouth is useless when it comes to talking, but we both know I have other uses for it. I tried to go slowly, but I couldn't help myself. I swear your pussy was so perfect it made me reconsider my views on God. Though, I don’t think I am a man deserving of an angel. I think I just got lucky. 
That night I couldn’t care less about how loud you were. “Joel- fuck- you’re gonna have to slow down, or, or, put your hand over my mouth ‘cause - oh!”
“’Cause you don’t want anyone to hear? What’s the problem with them hearing, darlin’? Married couples make love all the time, it’s what we’re supposed to do.”
Without a condom, too. We weren’t worried about you getting pregnant, so we went out with the best bang of ‘em all. I think the last time I’d done it like that was when Sarah was conceived, and based on how easy that was, I was always cautious. 
Husband and wife roleplay wasn’t very different from the sex we typically had. I guess we were really only a piece of paper and wedding bands away from being those ‘characters’. 
Earlier that day, I was worried I wouldn’t sleep that night. I didn’t want to sleep. I wanted to savor every moment with you but when you curled up in my arms I fell asleep before I could even consider staying awake. 
Waking up next to you was my last clear image, even our goodbye kiss was a little blurry ‘cause I was already a little teary-eyed. 
But before that, over breakfast, you mentioned something that I’ve thought about every day since. 
“You know how sometimes people see a bird or something and they’re like ‘oh, that’s my dead relative’?”
“Yeah.”
“I’ll come back as a butterfly. One of the blue ones. You don’t see those too often. I don’t want to be something too common, like a bird, then you’ll probably mistake someone else for me.”
I don’t think I had seen a blue butterfly in Jackson until after you’d left us, but there’s one outside my window right now. 
In case it’s you, I’ll read this all aloud. 
Forever yours, 
Joel 
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ange1heavensent · 4 months ago
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Joel “meeting” you for the first time
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Pairing: ellie williams x fem!reader
w/c: ≈ 680
:。.。:+* ゚ ゜゚ *+:。.。:+* ゚ ゜゚ *+:。.。.。:+*゚ ゜゚ *+:。.。:
It was dark outside when Ellie awoke to adamant knocks on her front door. However she refused to get up, first of all she could sense that it was way too early for someone to be bothering her, secondly the bed was warm and cozy with the extra body beside her, lying beneath the covers. But the knocks continued to echo through her garage and she felt you stir and lightly shake her mumbling  “Ellie someones at the door.” She could no longer ignore the person who was disturbing her sleep and begrudgingly walked towards the front door, rubbing her face and hand combing through her hair, trying to look somewhat presentable for the madman who was knocking at this hour. 
She turned on the porch light and moved the small curtain in front of the glass window on the door. On the other side of the glass stood Joel. She sighed and opened the door, her hand scratching her neck, a little embarrassed of the state she was in. “What’s up?” she asked, “There’ve been some report of infected up north, Maria is sending us out to scout.” “Alright..” Ellie sighed, “come in, I don’t want it to get cold inside.” Joel stepped through the door and stood awkwardly in front of it when he realized there was someone in Ellie’s bed. Ellie had made her way towards your side of the bed, stroking your hair and softly repeating and filling you in on the situation. After the brief conversation Ellie made her way to her closet and awkwardly glanced at Joel, who she kind of had forgotten was there. “Just gonna go change” she said as she hurriedly made her way to the bathroom and quickly shut the door. 
“Hi, Joel” you greeted him as you sat up in bed, covers wrapped around you. “Hi, Y/n” he replied back, at least it was someone he recognised, since you were one of Ellie’s friends. You smiled, trying to ease the awkwardness of the situation and offered to make something to eat, trying to do something, anything,  that wasn't sitting in Ellie’s bed. But he answered that he had already eaten. The uncomfortable atmosphere of the room was broken when Ellie yelled from the bathroom “Why couldn’t Tommy go with you?” “Maria wouldn’t let him, he’s got a cold” Joel yelled back. 
“I'm ready, ” Ellie said as she walked out of the bathroom. “Are you not going to eat anything?” You said as Ellie walked towards the front door. “I’m fine, baby” she replied, the term of endearment slipping out of habit. “Can you atleast grab a sandwich or something?” you retaliated. “I’ll be alright, okay” she spoke softly, Joel had already made it outside, while Ellie was tying her shoelaces and having the conversation with you. Ellie pushed the door closed, leaving Joel standing outside, while she walked towards you and playfully crawled up the bed placing kisses on your face. You giggled as you grabbed Ellie’s face placing one last kiss on her lips before whispering “be safe, you better come back in one piece, okay” Ellie lightly tucked some of stray hair behind your ear, while with a smile on her face saying “I won’t even get a scratch, I promise.” Then she climbed out of bed and quickly left, with a bye, hoping that she hadn’t left Joel standing outside for too long. 
He was standing further away than she had anticipated and lightly jogged towards him. When she was walking by his side Joel asked “Is Y/n your girlfriend?” “yeah, kind of” Ellie shrugged, “why only kind of?” Joel chuckled, “Well I haven't officially asked her.” Ellie said, while glancing at him. She could see a small smile tugging at Joel’s lips before he said “Well, I think you should.” “So you're okay with it?” Ellie asked, trying to ease her nervousness. “Does she make you happy?” Joel answered. “Yeah” Ellie said, now trying to act nonchalant about it, when Joel said “Well, then I am okay with it,” looking at Ellie. 
:。.。:+* ゚ ゜゚ *+:。.。:+* ゚ ゜゚ *+:。.。.。:+*゚ ゜゚ *+:。.。:
Thank you for reading! If you liked this fic, check out my masterlist for more :)
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elliesbelle · 1 year ago
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nobody compares to you
chapter 8
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pairing: ellie x reader
synopsis: you're in your junior year of college and at a party, you run into the girl who broke your heart: ellie williams. despite the time it took to reset your life, will you risk a broken heart again for her?
content warnings: modern college au, cursing, angst, lesbian flirtationship?, mentions of kissing, mentions of a weapon (it's just ellie's switchblade), descriptions of injuries and bruising, abby is hot and cocky (duh), minors do not interact
word count: 4k
chapters: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen
series masterlist
my masterlist
i have a ko-fi if you like my work so much that you feel compelled to tip me ♡︎
the "nobody compares to you" spotify playlist
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You’d spent the last few days texting back and forth with Abby. She hadn’t changed much since your freshman year, still confident and charismatic and charming as always. 
It was nice, taking a step outside of your comfort zone. It had been a while since you’d regularly socialized with someone other than your usual group of friends. The older you got, it seemed harder to feel comfortable getting close to new people. 
But Abby made it easy, keeping things casual and light. She’d ask about your day, talk about hers, and inquire what you were up to. She’d flirt every now and again, and you’d cautiously flirt right back, but she never pushed much further than that. 
You hadn’t told anyone yet about reconnecting with Abby. The girls from the Wilson Crew would no doubt be incredibly supportive, having partly seen you going through some of the disastrous aftermath with Ellie. But as loving and encouraging as they were, having six girls simultaneously asking you questions and being loud & abrasive about your love/sex life was too overwhelming a thought. 
You considered disclosing your secret to Dina. But though you loved her deeply and she was the closest thing you’ve ever had to a sister, Dina was just a tad bit judgy. She wouldn’t say anything, but after a few years of knowing her and her mannerisms, you’d recognized her pursed lips and her one raised eyebrow as her judgy face. And right now, the last thing you needed was to be evaluated when you’re trying to break from behind the walls you’ve built the past couple of years. 
After musing over it for a while, you kick yourself for not realizing right away who it was that you could confide in.
Jesse. 
Jesse was an easygoing person, effortless to chat with and always cracking jokes. But when it came down to it, he cared about you and knew how to listen, judgment-free. You used to have long talks with him back in freshman year, separate from Dina and Ellie, while you watched old movies or played video games together. After Rafael died, he made sure constantly that you stayed stable and took care of yourself. He’s never failed to be a great friend to you.  
Thursday morning, you make the decision to text Jesse as you get ready to leave for your first morning class. 
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You let out an audible “uhhh” as you remember that Jesse shared an apartment with Ellie. Jesse seems to suddenly remember as well a few seconds later. 
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You chuckle as you read Jesse’s last text before putting your phone in your pocket and walking out the front door of your apartment. 
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“So, you free tomorrow night?” Abby asks. 
“Mm, that depends.” 
“On?” 
“On why you’re asking.” You reply cheekily. 
Abby chuckles. 
You were making your way to your Race and Sexuality in Popular Culture class and Abby, who supposedly had some time to kill, was walking you over. 
“Oh, just curious.” Abby says. 
“Uh-huh, just curious.” You reply, rolling your eyes playfully. 
You stroll down the brick path holding a large textbook to your chest that you couldn’t stuff into your backpack with the rest of your things. Abby’d offered to carry it for you, but you insisted that you were a “strong and independent woman who didn’t need anyone to carry their books for them,” to which Abby laughed. 
“Oh, I’m just fucking around,” Abby continues. “Wanted to see if you wanted to maybe come to this bar with me and my friends. It’s pretty close by.” 
“Wow, getting drunk? On a weekday, Miss Anderson?” You joke. 
“Friday night counts as a weekend, you weirdo.” Abby chuckles. 
“Which bar is it?” 
“The Bow and Arrow on Waverly Street.” 
You purse your lips at this. 
The Bow and Arrow was a lesbian bar that was near the university’s campus. It was a pretty small place with a nice set-up: friendly and welcoming bartenders, TVs that played a variety of movies or that were connected to old consoles for patrons to play retro games on, and a spacious dance floor on the rooftop. 
Last year when you were still freshly heartbroken, you’d gone to the Bow and Arrow with a few friends from the Wilson Crew. Somehow, you ended up making out with a random girl in a dark corner who’d been eyeing you all evening. But after they’d asked if you wanted to go home with them, you chickened out and muttered a quick apology before rejoining your friends. 
Before then, you’d gone a few times during your freshman year. But after one fateful December night that involved a random stranger, the dance floor, and Ellie, you didn’t frequent it much afterwards. 
Abby doesn’t notice your hesitation, which allows you a second to come up with a calculated response. 
“Do you mind if I think about it? Tomorrow’s kind of a long day for me. Might be too exhausted after all my classes.” You say. 
“Sure, that’s totally fine.” Abby replies. “No pressure at all. If you wanna have a chill night, you could also come over and we can watch a movie or something instead.” 
You smile at her thoughtfulness. 
“You’re sweet,” You say. “But it’s okay, don’t change your plans ‘cause of me. You should go anyway and have fun with your friends.” 
“Still trying to avoid hanging out alone with me, huh?” Abby jokes. 
You roll your eyes and smile. 
“Yes, that’s exactly why I’m letting you walk me to class today.” You reply sarcastically. “Definitely trying to avoid being around you right now, Anderson.” 
“Oh, you’re ‘letting me’ walk you to class, are you?” 
“Yup,” You say. “Now leave me, I no longer require your services, Miss Anderson.” You joke, gesturing for her to leave the opposite direction. 
“Bossy.” Abby chuckles but continues to walk alongside you. 
It’s a slightly chillier day today as October begins to slowly approach November. You’d opted for an oversized sweater that used to belong to your cousin Rafael (it had his alma mater stitched onto the front and your uncle had gifted it to you sometime after his passing), a beanie, and a pair of thick leggings. When you’d met up with Abby, you pretended not to notice her eyeing your ass in your leggings for half a second when she first spotted you. 
“Alright,” Abby continues. “How about tonight? You busy?” 
“Can’t tonight, sorry.” You say. “Meeting up with a friend.” 
“Oh?” 
“Yeah, just having dinner with my friend Jesse.” 
“Oh, Jesse Chang, right?” 
You blink at Abby’s recognition. 
“Yeah, you know him?” 
“Just seen him around and all.” Abby explains. “He’s at the gym sometimes when I’m there. He lives with that friend of yours, Ellie, right? They’re both there together a lot.” 
Your face drops at the mention of Ellie, but Abby has her eyes straight ahead and doesn’t catch it. 
“Oh, and I see him sometimes playing guitar on the quad.” Abby continues. “He’s pretty good.” 
You quickly compose yourself. 
“Y-yeah. He’s known to play since he was a kid. A, uh, a family friend taught him growing up.” You say. 
You feel a pang in your heart. Joel taught Jesse how to play the guitar when he was younger. Jesse and Ellie. 
That summer that you’d spent in Jackson, Ellie’d told Joel during a Miller/Williams dinner night about how you were musically inclined. You’d felt embarrassed but you remember thinking that it was sweet how excited he got. Joel then proceeded to gush all about how he taught Ellie and Jesse how to play the guitar when they were just teenagers.  
Jesse’d already known how to play piano from lessons he’d been taking and was curious to branch out (Ellie made a comment that he just wanted to learn because playing guitar looked so much cooler to girls). According to Joel, he had been a good, attentive student. When Ellie found out Joel was teaching Jesse, she competitively insisted on being taught too. 
You remember chuckling when Joel’d told you how much of an impatient and temperamental student Ellie turned out to be. She’d easily get frustrated when she forgot a chord and curse herself out when her fingers would slip to play discordantly. But along with her hotheadedness came passion, and Ellie ended up teaching herself quickly into mastering the instrument anyway. 
Something inside ached when the memories of Jesse and Ellie casually strumming on their guitars flooded back. You’d watched in admiration as they fucked around and even occasionally wrote songs together. Sometimes you’d sing along to whatever they’d be playing, and they would joke about how they should start a band (to which you’d tease that Ellie didn’t play nice with others to handle being in an organized group). 
“That’s nice.” Abby says, interrupting your trance. “You’re pretty close to him?” 
“Oh yeah,” You reply. “I’d say he’s one of my closest friends here.” 
You quickly feel guilty saying that out loud, knowing that you’d pulled away from both him and Dina the past year. 
“That’s pretty sweet,” Abby smiles. “He seems like a really chill guy.” 
“He’s the best.” You say, smiling back. 
“Well, I won’t get in the way of some bestie bonding then,” Abby says. “But at least consider coming out with us tomorrow night?” 
You’re approaching the building of your next class now with just a couple of minutes to spare. You grip your textbook to your chest tightly, almost like it's a source of stress relief. Going out and actually being in public with Abby was a nerve-wracking concept. But you don’t want to disappoint her either. 
“I will,” You say. “I promise.” 
“Good.” Abby smiles. 
“Now, go and get out of here,” You tell her. “You’re gonna be late for your next class.” 
“Why are you always so eager to get rid of me?” Abby teases. 
You roll your eyes, amused. 
“You’re just so sickenly nice to me that I can’t stand to be around you.” 
“Get used to it then.” Abby replies. 
“Mm,” You muse. “We’ll see.” 
Abby chuckles. 
“Alright, well, I’ll text you.” She says, waving as she walks off. “See you, pretty girl.” 
You feel blood rushing to your cheeks at this flirty comment as you wave her off. Your grip on your textbook loosens before you turn and proceed into the building. 
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“Another strawberry milkshake? Really?” You ask as the server walks away. 
“What?! I’m having a craving!” 
You chuckle before taking a sip of your water. 
Ever the responsible and reliable friend, Jesse was ten minutes early to the diner for your meet-up. He’d pulled you into one of his classic bear hugs when you came in, and your heart jolted and your eyes teared up. You’ve really missed being around him. 
“So, how’ve you been, kid?” He asks, leaning back into his chair and crossing his arms. 
“Mm, short or long answer?” 
“Long,” He smiles. “I wanna know everything.” 
You return his smile uncertainly. 
“Don’t really know how to start, Jess.” 
“How ‘bout telling me how classes have been going for you?” 
You go on for a while about how you’d been handling your schoolwork, Jesse occasionally chiming in about his own classes. He laughed at your anecdotes and asked all the right questions at all the right times. Your orders were placed in front of you as you were complaining about your Women in Classical Antiquity professor who you swore has a vendetta against you. 
“Then she looks at me like I’m crazy!” You complain before stuffing your face with a slice of chocolate chip pancake. 
“Yeah, a buddy of mine had her last year, and apparently half the shit she was teaching made no sense.” Jesse replies, licking whipped cream off the top of his milkshake. 
“It doesn’t!” You exclaim. “Like, I’m sorry that I corrected you in front of the rest of your students, but like? Do your job right the first time then, bitch!” 
Jesse guffaws as you pour more maple syrup over your pancakes. 
“Dude, she’s gonna fail you for sure if you keep it up.” 
“Fail me for knowing more about Greek mythology than she does,” You grumble. “Get me up on that podium, and we’ll all learn something for a change.” 
You continue your tirade for a couple of minutes until the conversation shifts from your classes to your friends. 
“It’s so cute that they’ve been together since freshman year,” You say, discussing your friends Tara and Astrid who were celebrating their two-year anniversary in a couple of months. “Although I guess to you and D, two years is nothing.” 
“Hey, still an impressive feat. And I definitely agree that they’re real cute together.” Jesse replies. 
“Nice to know love is real after all.” You joke. 
Jesse smiles at this but then suddenly looks thoughtful before speaking.
“How about you, dude?” 
“What about me?” You ask, finishing off the last of your pancakes and attacking your side of grits. 
“How’s your love life been going?” 
You pause. This is exactly why you’d invited Jesse out, to confide in him. And yet somehow, you feel your mouth go dry and your heartbeat rapidly increase. 
Jesse notices your hesitation and puts his elbows on the table, resting his chin on his hands. 
“We don’t have to talk about it, bud. But I’m here if you need someone. Judgment-free zone.” 
You give him a soft smile. Jesse was so perceptive sometimes. 
“Well, umm,” You start. “I’m sort of… seeing someone? Or trying to see someone, I guess. Not sure what to call it yet.” 
“Oh, yeah? What does ‘trying’ to see someone mean exactly?” 
“It means…” You sigh. “…it means I don’t really know what I’m doing or what’s going on or if I want to go further.” 
Jesse chuckles. 
“Well, what do you want?” He asks. 
“I’m not really sure,” You reply honestly. “I guess, I’m a little tired of feeling lonely, and she’s so nice to me. She makes me feel good about myself. I don’t know. I just haven’t actually dated anyone in such a long time.” 
“That’s okay. It’s been a rough couple of years for you. I don’t blame you at all.” Jesse says. 
You look at him sadly before popping a spoonful of grits into your mouth. 
“Well, I don’t think you should completely force yourself into something you’re unsure about,” Jesse says after taking a sip from his milkshake. “But I also think that you deserve to be happy. And unfortunately, that means putting yourself out there.” 
You scowl at his sage advice. 
“Do I have to?” 
“Sorry, kid.” Jesse chuckles and you grimace. 
“I just want to see you be yourself again,” Jesse continues. “Whether that’s because you start going out with someone new or because you just leave your apartment more often, it doesn’t matter. Do you think this girl could be good for you?” 
You contemplate his question seriously for a few moments. 
“Maybe?” You reply, unsure. “She could be. I don’t know.” 
“Well, you don’t have to know now,” Jesse says. “Just do what makes you happy, okay? That’s really all I want.” 
You feel something warm growing instantaneously in your chest. Gratitude is too small of a word for what you felt towards Jesse, and you make a note to yourself to start hanging out with him more. 
“Thanks, Jess. You really are the best.” You say. 
“Hey, that almost rhymed.” He jokes. 
“Oh my god,” You laugh, rolling your eyes. “You’re so annoying.” 
“You’re a poet and you don’t even know it!” He cackles. 
You take one of your used, syrup-y paper napkins, ball it up, and toss it at his face. He catches it easily, chortling to himself. 
“God, you’re a fucking dork!” You say. 
“Don’t be a hater!” He says, holding his hands up defensively. 
You giggle. 
“I missed you, Jess.” You say. 
“Missed you too, kid,” Jesse replies, eyes softening. “You’ve got to come over sometime. I haven’t beaten your ass at Smash in forever!” 
You give him a hesitant smile, which he notices. 
“Just come over when she’s not there.” He says, accurately assuming the reason behind your reluctance. 
“Dude, I don’t know…” 
“We’ll do it sometime when she’s not home. It’ll be fine, I promise.” Jesse reassures. “Plus, we haven’t had a jam sesh in forever. I miss my jamming partner.” 
You smile, remembering the times when Jesse would convince you to teach him something new on his guitar or have you sing along to a song he’d been learning. He almost roped you into performing at an open mic with him back in freshman year, but you ended up chickening out. 
“Don’t you have Ellie for that?” You ask timidly. You find that her name hurts to say out loud. 
“She judges me too much for my exquisite and refined music taste,” Jesse complains. “She nearly threw her knife at me for trying to get her to duet a Taylor Swift song with me.” 
You laugh, despite yourself. 
“Yeah, well, that’s what you get.” You tease. 
“Hey! This is a judgment-free zone. No judging my Swiftie habits.” 
You roll your eyes playfully. 
“Hey, by the way,” Jesse suddenly says. “Who’s the lucky lady?” 
“What?” 
“The girl that you’re ‘trying’ to see or whatever.” 
“Oh. Right.” You say, biting the inside of your cheek. “It’s umm… Abby Anderson.” 
You look up to see Jesse with an expression on his face that you don’t fully recognize. His eyebrows are furrowed and it looks as if he was trying to connect the dots about something you weren’t privy to. After several moments, you see what seems like a sudden realization reach his eyes. 
“Oh shit, umm.” He starts. “Yeah, she’s pretty cool.” 
“What is it, Jesse?” You ask skeptically. 
“No, nothing. Just processing.” He replies unconvincingly. 
“Jesse,” You press. “What is it?” 
“Seriously, it’s nothing.” 
“Dude, come on. Don’t bullshit me.” You assert. Jesse sighs. 
“That just…That just explains a couple of things, that’s all.” 
“What things?” 
“I—” Jesse starts but his eyes suddenly wander away from you and towards the front door of the diner. “Oh, fuck.” 
You follow the direction of his gaze. You feel your throat close up and your stomach lurch as you recognize the figures of Dina and Ellie entering the restaurant. The instinct you’d developed the past year to suddenly look elsewhere whenever Ellie entered the room vanished completely when your eyes fell on her face. 
Ellie was sporting a black eye with a dark gash right underneath. The bruising didn’t look fresh, but you can easily tell it happened recently. Your eyes trail down and see that her right hand is also bandaged. 
“Shit.” You hear Jesse mumble, breaking you out of your wildly unravelling thoughts. You turn to face him. 
“I’m so sorry, man. I had no idea that they were gonna pass by—” Jesse immediately starts to apologize. 
“I-it’s okay, Jess.” You stutter. “I just—” 
You fall silent as you glance back towards the pair, your eyes inadvertently meeting Ellie’s ocean green ones. Your faces make the same panicked expression before you both break eye contact to hiss at your respective friends. 
“You didn’t tell Dina where we were meeting?” You whisper fervently. 
“I told her that we were gonna hang out, but I completely forgot to mention where.” He says apologetically. 
“Jesse…” You whine. 
“I know, I know. I’m sorry, bud. Do you, uh, want me to go over there and—” His sentence is cut short as Dina approaches your table. 
“Hi, babe.” She says, directed at Jesse. “So, what the fuck?” 
“Why are you here?” You and Jesse demand simultaneously. 
“We ordered takeout and we came to pick it up so we didn’t have to pay delivery fees.” Dina explains. “Jess, why didn’t you tell me—” 
“I’m sorry! I didn’t think you were coming out with El!” He says defensively. 
“Fucking hell,” Dina says before turning to you. “I’m sorry, honey. Are you okay?” 
“I, umm,” You start, your eyes unwittingly wandering back to Ellie. She was standing awkwardly by the host’s podium, bouncing back and forth between her feet and twiddling her fingers. She seems determined to look at nothing else but at her Chuck Taylor sneakers. You shift your gaze back to Dina. 
“Y-yeah. I’m okay.” You say weakly. 
She smiles sympathetically, putting a comforting hand on your shoulder. 
“Is…” You begin timidly. “Is that a black eye? O-on Ellie?” 
Dina and Jesse share a worried look. 
“Did you tell her anything?” She asks him. 
“No, not yet.” He replies. 
Dina sighs. 
“Tell me what?” You ask, eyebrows furrowing. 
Dina’s hand squeezes your shoulder lightly. 
“It’s—” She begins. “It’s kind of… private.” 
“Oh” is all you say in response. You feel a little rebuffed and excluded, but you decide not to press further. You knew it wasn’t your business. And after all, you were no longer a foursome. 
“We’re just gonna grab our food and go, okay?” Dina assures. “I’ll text you later, hun.” She says to you. 
“O-okay…” You reply meekly and watch as Dina makes her way back to Ellie. 
Neither you nor Jesse says anything. From your peripheral vision, you see Dina and Ellie seemingly argue about something for a few moments before the hostess arrives with a plastic bag of food, which Ellie grabs with her good hand. They leave without another glance back at you. 
“Jess, I’m…” You say after a second or two of silence. “I’m gonna go use the bathroom real quick, okay?” 
Jesse responds with a simple “okay.” His eyes meet yours with an acknowledgement that you merely need a second to yourself. You nod, silently thanking him for his understanding before making your way to the diner’s bathrooms. 
As you shut the door behind you, you lean against it and weep silently. 
Why? Why am I here again? 
You realize that it hasn’t even been a week since you were in this same, empty diner bathroom, breaking down and crying tears of frustration. 
Am I not allowed to catch a fucking break? 
You spend a couple of minutes breathing deeply the way your old therapist taught you before you can wrench yourself off from the door and look at yourself in the mirror. 
Please, just… please. 
Your right hand unwittingly comes up to touch your face, right where Ellie’s injury had been on hers. 
What the hell did she get herself into? 
Ellie wasn’t inherently a violent person, but she didn’t shy away from it either. She was reckless and impulsive, something about her that you used to love but also dread. A memory starts forming in your head, of you and Ellie and that December night at the Bow and Arrow. 
Your reminiscence is suddenly interrupted by your phone buzzing in your pocket. You take it out to see you got a text. 
Abby? 
You unlock your phone, giggling when you read her message. 
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She really is so nice to me. 
Your heart starts to feel warm before it stops completely upon reading her follow-up texts. 
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O-oh. Oh, okay. 
You gulp and feel a chill going down your spine. You almost feel the need to look around and make sure nobody is watching you, only to remember you were alone in the bathroom. Your phone buzzes with another message. 
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You chuckle nervously at Abby’s last message. 
She’s bold, I’ll give her that. 
You chew on your lip for a few moments while one hand grips your phone tightly and the other taps nervously on the bathroom counter. You take a deep breath. 
Fuck it. 
Remembering Jesse’s advice, you make the decision to put yourself out there again. 
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Hastily putting your phone back in your pocket before Abby can text back, you feel every nerve in your body tremble. Your heart hammers rapidly in your chest, but you stare at your reflection resolutely. 
Abby likes you, okay? I think. And I think I can like her too. This is a chance to be part of something healthy for once. 
You stand in front of the mirror, conducting your breathing exercises and attempting to convince yourself. 
Back at your table while waiting for your return, Jesse is hastily questioning Dina through text if Abby Anderson was the reason that Frat Guy Adam was nearly beaten to a bloody pulp by the hands of Ellie.
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author’s notes:
omg a million years later and i finally update? gasp. now everyone clap for belle (pls clap)
tbh i was too lazy to do all the phone texting parts with the format i did in the past chapters cause i hate having to mess around with the html format for the customized grey text, so my lazy ass just did screenshots of the texts instead, sorry slfkjsddsf
if you recognize the lesbian bar that i loosely based the bow and arrow on, no you didn’t
i’ve been replaying tlou2 lately and i know many of y’all headcanon jesse as a himbo which i honestly love, i’m obsessed with himbo!jesse, but i personally didn’t wanna ignore the fact that jesse’s actually a very intelligent and level-headed guy who’s extremely organized and who’s a natural leader and etc. let’s acknowledge this jesse more!
also jesse’s last name is merely inspired by the last name of the actor who plays him (stephen chang)
also jesse is a musician because i say so. i’m also hcing him as having taken piano lessons as a kid cause which of us asian kids weren’t forced to take piano lessons or whatever when we were kids, let’s be real (i took them briefly but they were boring and i’d already known and i also mostly taught myself anyway)
the part about reader's professor not knowing how to teach her own class is just me being still bitter over a mythology professor who kept trying to fail me cause i knew more about greek mythology than she did (she couldn't cause i was literally correct all the time). the bitch even tried to accuse me of plagiarism! i'm still mad.
i added in the part about ellie not inherently being a violent person as a passive-aggressive reference to craig mazin, the creator of the hbo show, who says that ellie has a violent heart when she does NOT, he does not understand our girl at all
the image i used as abby's selfie is of the body model that they based abby's character on, colleen fotsch!
wow i added waaaay too much in the author’s notes lol sorry belle has adhd everyone
anyway thank you for bearing with me as i take time uploading. replies and reblogs and messages are fuel to new chapters, so pretty please! indulge me!
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