#The sister obsession thing is my biggest problem but i get why they added it

[localfandom]

ok yuri is starting to just be a prick

[elareine]

JayTim arranged marriage in the rengency era?

Anon. ANON. I love you for this prompt.

Jason Peter Todd was an intensely practical man. 

His family was poor as shite. If he got an advantageous marriage, that would leave his sisters with much better prospects; reversely, he was not willing to sell any of them into a marriage just to improve their finances. So when none of his sisters looked thrilled at the prospect of being wedded to the Drake heir, he volunteered. 

To his surprise, the Drake family actually accepted. A meeting was arranged between their parents so that the pair of suitors might meet before the announcement. 

Well. There was nothing for it, then. Jason got dressed in his Sunday best, and then he waited for the Honorable Timothy Drake to arrive. 

And waited. And waited. His affianced was late.

(“I was so nervous I spilled tea down my shirt,” was Tim’s explanation years later. “And then my mother lectured me about being late, which of course delayed me further.”) 

When he finally walked into the room, Tim Drake said, “Oh, thank God,” which wasn’t exactly what Jason had expected. Maybe seeing Jason’s confusion, Tim added: “My parents wouldn’t tell me who it was that agreed to my proposal, and I was starting to fear they mean for me to marry a fifteen-year-old.” 

“I am older than you,” was all Jason could think to say about that. 

“Yes,” Tim agreed warmly, “and a man, which is a distinct advantage, if I may say so.” 

Oh. That explained some things. 

(“What would you have done if it had been Annalena?” he would ask his husband.

Tim’s face scrunched up most adorably. “Delay the wedding by at least three years and make longing faces at you over the family dinner table?” 

“Genius.”) 

“I agree,” Jason told him, starting to smile himself. He wouldn’t have minded a companionable marriage at all, but to have the prospect of an actual match dangled in front of him was tantalizing. 

“Well, that takes care of my biggest concerns.” Tim actually clapped his hands. “Are there any questions you want to discuss before we proceed?” 

Did Jason ever. 

“You must know that by taking me on, you agree to a certain amount of responsibility toward my siblings, yes?” 

Tim nodded. “Oh, yes. I’m quite prepared for that.” 

Jason sincerely doubted it. As far as he knew, Tim was an only child. That was fine; he would find out how Jason’s sisters could get soon enough. 

(“Please tell me she is not still hung up on that soldier?” 

“Oh, no, she has quite forgotten about him. She has now set her heart on being a vicar’s wife—the center of piety and parish gossip, I suspect—and is coasting for a suitable vicar.” 

“…” 

“We must hope he posses a lot of Christian charity and patience.”)  

“It will be nice to have more people living in the manor if they choose to do so,” Tim added. “And it takes care of the problem of heirs.” 

“I was wondering about that,” Jason admitted. “Won’t that be an issue?” 

“Will it be for you?” 

“No, but I am not a member of the aristocracy.” 

“Not yet,” Tim smiled. 

Right. Not yet. 

“We are quite minor members, anyway,” Tim explained. “Since the regent has eased the rules on inheritance, it will cause no problem to pass on the title and the land to whichever male heir we choose, whether he is related by blood or not. The fortune is ours to do with as we wish, in any case.” 

“That sounds a little too good to be true.” 

“Don’t say that before you have met my mother,” Tim said lightly, but something in his eyes told Jason it wasn’t a joke. 

“I can handle her,” he told him. From what his own mother had said, Janet Drake was prone to emotional guilt-tripping and perfectionism. Jason was willing to bet that she would not last six months in his presence.

Tim smiled. “You know, I believe you will.” 

(“And how is your mother liking Madeira?” 

“So well that she is considering buying a home there. At the very least, she wishes to winter on the island.” 

“Hmm. How nice for her.”) 

“Have we quite dispensed with your questions?” the younger man asked, and Jason nodded. “Then… will you accept this gift?” 

Jason stared down at the parcel Tim offered him. He should have expected this—a courting gift was tradition, after all, and despite their ages and heights, Tim was very much the suitor in this scenario—but nothing could have prepared him for the leather-bound and illustrated volume of Paradise Lost he found inside. 

“It’s beautiful,” he said. “How did you…?” 

“I might have… taken liberties in finding out about your interests,” Tim explained. He looked calm, but Jason noticed the red tint to his ears. It was unexpectedly charming. 

(“I believe, in modern parlance, your behavior might be called an ‘undue obsession.’” 

“Obsession, maybe,” Tim agreed readily. “Undue? Never. You are worth every penny.” 

He deserved a kiss for that, and Jason was happy to dole it out. “Charmer.”) 

“Well, I know nothing about yours,” Jason replied, carefully setting the book down. “So why don’t you sit down?” 

“I would love to,” Tim said, and then he sat down right next to Jason on the couch instead of across from him, still smiling and blushing, and oh, yes. This was one arranged marriage Jason did not mind at all.

(I’m taking prompts until the end of the year.)

[ineedglasses]

VK Character Analysis: Rido Kuran

Rido is a complete, messed up, SOB, but I still like him as a character because he is simply such a fun villain. If I were to place him in that alignment chart thing, he would be “chaotic evil” without a doubt.

While he is generally seen as a creepy, sister-obsessed, maniac, I really believe he was different earlier in his life. 

This analysis is based off the Rido we see in the manga and the light novel, NOT the Rido in the anime, since the anime was trash and deviated from the manga when it came to his arc. Anyway, at the start of the post, I will go over the info from the light novel and manga, next will be my headcanons of him as a young man and at the end is my interpretation of him when he was crazy, as we see him in the original series.

                                                               XXX

The Deranged Love story in the Fleeting Dreams light novel talks about Rido’s obsession with Juri and gives some info on their past. However, when compared to the original VK series there are several points that don’t add up, and some parts of the light novel simply make no sense.

First, Both VKM and the light novel mention that Rido killed his parents and presumably devoured them to take their powers. That makes sense, it seems like something he would do. What doesn’t make sense to me is the timeline. When exactly did he kill his parents? 

All the light novel tells us is that he killed them immediately after they engaged him to Shizuka. Is this around the time Haruka and Juri got married? I always assumed Haruka and Juri have been married for a while, like at least 1000 years. If this is the case, within that time period, how can they not notice that their parents are dead and that their brother killed them? 

Or does their murder occur closer to the time Juri got pregnant? But this doesn’t make sense either because Rido referred to Shizuka as a “small child” when he killed his parents, and by the time Juri was pregnant with Yuki’s real brother, Shizuka was probably already at least one or two thousand years old. Unless Shizuka is much younger than we thought? So when exactly Rido kills his parents is quite the mystery.

Secondly, How did he kill his parents? 

I assume the older a pureblood, the more powerful they are. So how can he, by himself, kill his parents, both of whom are older and more powerful than him? I doubt his dad was a weakling because as former king of vampires, he should be quite powerful. In the light novel, it seems his parents were already wary of him and wanted to keep him away from Juri. Thus they wouldn’t completely let their guard down around him. And its not like Rido could carry around a hunter sword with him without it being noticed. Even if he was carrying something small like a dagger, his parents should have been able to overwhelm him in a fight since its 2 vs 1. 

Kaname has commented that “purebloods have equal powers, so they would only exhaust each other in battle”; basically it is hard to kill another pureblood unless you have some advantage (e.g. Shizuka being already wounded by Zero’s hunter gun). So the only logical way Rido can kill his parents is if he catches them off guard, such as when they are taking a centuries long slumber in the family mausoleum, basically doing what Sara did to Hanadagi. 

Thirdly, another point that makes no sense is that Rido in the light novel says:

“My parents had taken my precious Juri far away from me and made it so that we could never meet.” 

How exactly did his parents take Juri away and stop them from ever meeting again? Send her abroad with no intention of ever letting her return? And yet the manga clearly contradicts that, because Rido is still in contact with Haruka and Juri, he was there to see their firstborn baby!

Fourthly, this is a small detail that has always irked me: In the manga, when Yuki’s brother peed on him, Rido mentions that he used to change his siblings’ diapers when they were babies. 

However the light novel kind of contradicts that, because young Rido upon being called in to meet his baby sister says: “I will confess that newborns seemed very uninteresting to me at that time”; does this sound like an older brother that would change his younger siblings’ diapers? It sounds like a guy who would leave baby care to the nannies and stay far away from soiled diapers. 

Finally, we get to the biggest illogical point in the light novel: Rido was a psychopath that just randomly developed an obsession upon seeing the newborn Juri.

“ It was in that moment – somewhere in the depths of my being – something abruptly flared to life. […] I was overwhelmed by the urge to devour her.”

No normal person just out of the blue feels the urge to consume a baby, only crazy people do. The rest of the light novel story continues depicting Rido as a psychopath. Their parents notice there is something wrong with their son because the mom slaps Rido and starts to keep him away from Juri. Adding on to this portrayal of him as batshit crazy, after he (somehow) kills his parents, he says the following:

“That’s what you get for getting in my way, you naughty things…” 

LOL, who in their right mind would call their parents “naughty things”?

My issue is this: I highly doubt Rido was crazy from the start, because it would make no sense. If Rido was crazy, how the hell could Juri and Haruka not have noticed for over 3000 years?! Even the dumbest person would get a clue that their brother was crazy after just 30 years, much less 3000 years. They trusted him enough to let him hold their baby, so they clearly believed Rido was not crazy. There is no way that Juri and Haruka were that stupid and blind. Thus, I doubt that Rido was crazy at the start of his life. So, this aspect of the light novel is just total BS to me.

IF Rido really was crazy from the start, then his mom and dad were bad parents. Yes, it makes sense to keep Juri away from Rido if he really were a psychopath, but their other actions were just extremely irresponsible and selfish. If you know your son is dangerous, maybe you should address this issue properly. After all, he is a pureblood and if you don’t deal with the problem, there will be huge repercussions for everyone given the destructive powers of purebloods. 

But instead of taking their son to see a mental health professional like any decent parent would do, Papa and Mama Kuran decided to solve the problem by engaging him off to a “tiny child”. I’m no parenting expert, but I’m sure if your son has mental issues, you definitely should NOT marry him off to any girl. Even if they didn’t get him some help, they should have at least locked him up like Shizuka to ensure he didn’t harm anyone... but they just let him roam free.

If this is the extent of their problem-solving ability, then it’s for the best that they ended the monarchy because they must have been cruddy rulers. But who knows, I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt, maybe they believed the “tiny child” they chose for him has a PhD in psychology and can provide their son with the help he clearly needs. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Anyway, I consider the light novel to be only pseudo-canon since it was inspired by Hino but written by someone else (Ayuna Fujisaka), so I will just ignore the parts that don’t make sense and keep the parts that do.

                                                              XXX

This following section is what I believe Rido to have been like when he was a (sane) young man, based on the info in the manga and the few bits that do make sense in the light novel.

Since Rido was the oldest son and born in a time when the Kurans were still the ruling family, he probably grew up with a lot of pressure and expectations as he was the crown prince. Given these conditions, he was most likely serious and hardworking, doing his best to live up to those expectations and preparing to be the next king (kinda like Eins in The Royal Tutor LOL).

He was also probably a bit older than Haruka and Juri (because according to the manga he has experience changing their diapers and taking care of them). And since he was probably busy with his princely duties, he did not spend a bunch of time with his siblings and thus Haruka and Juri were naturally closer to one another than Juri was to him. She probably saw him a respected older brother but not as reachable and easy to connect to as Haruka.

Rido was probably arrogant, possessive, and entitled even at the start (though at much milder levels than towards the end), which makes sense given his background. Not only was he a pureblood, but the crown prince too. And since he was prince, he probably had to deal with the dog-eat-dog world of politics from a young age, so that probably made him more cynical and darker than his siblings who had much less pressure and responsibility. It would almost be shocking if he was a humble and kind person instead.

Anyway, according to the custom of primogeniture, both the throne and Juri should have been his. Since it was tradition of the Kurans to marry their siblings, it only makes sense that as the oldest son and legitimate heir, he was the one that Juri should have married. Yet for whatever reason, their dad decided to end the monarchy, which must have been a huge blow to Rido who spent his whole life preparing to be the next king. He probably drove himself to despair questioning why and if there was something wrong with him that his father would pull such a move.

Then Rido probably got another big slap to the face: Juri choosing to marry Haruka instead of him, with his parents probably giving them their blessings. So not only has he lost the throne, he also lost the fiancée that should have been his according to precedent. And Juri choosing Haruka probably made Rido lose face among their society, since people would naturally wonder why Juri spurned tradition and married the second son instead.

(Actually, it wouldn’t matter if the monarchy getting dissolved took place first or if Juri choosing Haruka took place first, the point is both happened and it screwed him up.)

Rido most likely didn’t love Juri, but simply believed he did. He probably conflated Juri with what he lost/ what should have been his by birthright and became unhealthily obsessed with the idea of her. It didn’t help that the one Juri chose was Haruka, who we know has a mild and kind personality. To someone like Rido, those are traits probably considered “weak”, and thus he probably never thought of Haruka as his rival. Therefore, the fact that he lost to Haruka of all people shocked him, and there might have been some anger and sorrow at being betrayed by a sibling. So anyway, Rido’s emotions as well as his ego got clobbered.

But fate is not done with him yet! His parents most likely decided to engage him to Shizuka “without his consent” around the time that Haruka and Juri got engaged/married. They might have rushed to engage him off to whoever was available at that time (unluckily for Shizuka it happened to be her), hoping to get him out of the way of his siblings’ happiness. Rido probably was pissed, since not only does he not get to choose his new fiancée, the one chosen for him hails from a clan with a history of supposedly going insane, instead of someone with a less problematic pedigree. His parents really doing him dirty lol.

I think he really had some deep-rooted problems with his parents. Sometimes parents just don’t like their child, because of personality and ideological differences…Anyway, they were definitely in a strained relationship which would explain why Rido could go so far to kill his own parents and feel no guilt over it.

                                                                XXX

Finally, towards the end of his life he really just lost it.

Rido probably tried to keep up appearances and act like everything is okay and that his world is not falling apart, thus allowing Juri and Haruka to still trust him. But over the years he just stewed in his anger against his parents, his siblings and the world in general and turned into a very bitter and hateful person on the inside. And although he probably tried to suppress his growing darkness, his bad traits got amped up while his better traits died. It was probably extremely infuriating for him to see his siblings so happy in their pink glittery world while he himself was drowning in darkness.

(Even Kaien was annoyed by Haruka and Juri’s “pink world”, imagine an already salty and bitter Rido seeing this type of scene for centuries and just frothing with rage on the inside LOL)

So Rido became a sadistic ass towards the end, taking his anger out on people that have nothing to do with it. He tried to make Shizuka miserable and force her to be docile and had no luck with that but succeeded in breaking Senri’s mom and driving the poor woman crazy. Though if you think about it, in a way he did succeed in breaking Shizuka too… he caused her lover’s death and when she lost her lover, she basically lost her will to live.

Hino showed how talented Rido is at antagonizing others. While he possessed Senri, he intentionally hurt Senri’s body to toy with Takuma.

Even after his death, his dregs were tormenting Kaname by pointing out all his inner concerns, taunting Kaname about how he has no hope left. 

In VKM, Yuki mentions Rido as someone “with overwhelming desires that only plunge the world around [him] into misery.” Overall, Rido probably got his giggles by making others miserable.

Besides getting high off ruining the lives of other people, he was just a bastard in general. He used everyone around him as tools, even his own sons. Unlike Shizuka or Kaname, he did not care about his subordinates at all, to him they were just “appetizers” and expendables. He also had zero reservations about forcing lower vampires to submit to his will.

Anyway, Rido probably was already a bitter jackass but he really snapped when he found out Juri was pregnant and would start a happy little family with Haruka. Maybe he was idiotically holding onto hope that as long as Juri didn’t have a kid, he still had a chance? Regardless, it was at that point that he gave up any vestiges of humanity he had left and decided to just pursue power instead.

With no hope left he just decided to give in to his primitive instincts and lust after power, at the expense of family ties. In a way, he might have felt betrayed by his family, and reasoned with himself that unlike the throne and Juri, at least power won’t be stolen away.

BTW, I think his decision to sacrifice Yuki’s real brother to ancestor Kaname was spontaneous and not premeditated. After all, crazy people are unlikely to plan things in advance and just do as their whims dictate...

Maybe it came to him right when he stared at Juri holding her newborn. 

“It’s such irony that this baby was named ‘Kaname’ like you. That’s what got me started thinking of this.”

Because his plan (if he had one) sucked. He should have known that the famished, revived ancestor would attack him, since the blood of a tiny baby was clearly not enough. And yet he made no preparations to fend off such an attack and ended up getting drained by Kaname.

As a side note, Haruka could have killed Rido right then, when Rido was badly wounded by ancestor Kaname. 

But he didn’t, and chose to have Rido imprisoned by the Senate instead. Haruka should have known that Rido would never give up on destroying his family as long as he lived, so the logical thing would have been to kill him. Even Rido mentions this later when he returned for Yuki.

While Haruka’s pacifist nature played a part in this, I think he also restrained himself from giving in to vengeful rage partly out of the fact that they are family, and more likely out of guilt. Perhaps Haruka had always felt guilty for marrying Juri and realized that he was partly responsible for driving Rido insane.

Anyway, Rido crossed the line by killing a helpless baby and basically burned all his bridges. At this point he didn’t really give any fucks anymore. 

Asato mentions how Rido was like a child, even though he has lived so long. I think the analogy fits, because Rido acted like a child throwing a tantrum, trying to destroy everything and doing whatever he pleased with no regard for consequences or others.

In a sense, like Shizuka, Rido had already lost his will to go on living. The only thing keeping him hanging on was the need to lash out. Even though he acted like he was pursuing greater power, aiming to consume Kaname and Yuki to become more powerful, he wasn’t actually trying. 

If he was serious, he would not have gotten easily distracted, suddenly deciding to have Yuki replace Juri instead of continuing with the plan to devour her. Rido also didn’t bother trying to fight seriously at the end and Zero comments on this.

Otherwise Zero and Yuki together could not have beaten him, given how Rido is much older/powerful and consumed at least 2 other purebloods. Even Sara said that Rido was acting foolishly reckless, saying he was just having fun.

                                                             XXX

Overall, given this interpretation of Rido, I actually feel bad for him. I believe that he drove himself crazy wondering why his parents ended the monarchy instead of letting him be the next king, and wondering why Juri chose Haruka over him. Those questions probably haunted him for centuries.

That feeling that you tried your best, did everything you were supposed to, but still ended up with nothing is something I can relate to. Sometimes one just wants to watch the world burn given how unjust life usually is (even though logically we know it is wrong to feel this way). So yeah, these are my headcanons and analysis of Rido, who I prefer to see as a deeper/more interesting character than just a sis-con psychopath LOL.

[peachyunjinnie]

—  m a s t e r l i s t

updated: 20 / 07 / 2020 

 newest fic  

      ↪  “sensitivity.”  kjw

↶ back to navigation

a-z / making out series  x

© peachyunjinnie  — all rights reserved. reposting/modifying of any medium is not allowed. translations not allowed. 

every and all post/s do not reflect the boys in real life, all stories are fictional.

o n e s h o t s

s — smut  

m — suggestive

a — angst  

f — fluff  

☆ — personal favorite

bang chan

— secret obsession | 2.2k | s |

↳ summary: chan finds out your secret obsession for his hands and gives you what you have been craving for.  ↳ read here

— daddy’s babygirl | 781 | m | ↳ summary: you are needy on a movie night with chan. The problem is that his two friends hyunjin and jeongin are there, but after some major teasing chan and y/n get it on in the bathroom.

↳ read here

— knock knock | 617 | m | ↳ summary: chan and his s/o get into a very heated make-out session, but sadly the boys don’t know how to knock. 

↳ read here 

— be quiet | 2.1k | m |  ☆ ↳ summary: bang chan is the biggest fuckboy on your school. you end up being his tutor and things get very heated during their first lesson

↳ read here  ᴘᴀʀᴛ  𝟷  | 𝟸 | 3

— https://sugarbaby.com | 7k | series | ↳ summary: through your urgent and acute need for any kind of financial income, you see the ad of a sugarbaby website. you decide to overcome your pride and hit ‘sign up’.

↳ read here  ᴘᴀʀᴛ  𝟷  | 𝟸  | 3  | 4  | 5  | 6  | 7  | 8  | 9  | 10  | 11  | ...

lee minho

— look at me | 1.3k | s |  ☆ ↳ summary: you are the pastors daughter and noticed that the school’s fuckboy minho has been on your mind more than he should. he approaches you on the holy sunday at church, and things get...interesting.

↳ read here 

— dear dori | 1.9k | f |  ↳ summary: you find a stray cat, and as the kitten rushed outside, she ran to the coffee shop to reunite with her owner and the barista minho.

↳ read here

— make me stop | 802 | s |  ↳ summary: you finally get to meet minho's parents after his proposal at a family dinner but minho has a different idea of what will satisfy his hunger.

↳ read here

seo changbin

— jealous | 795 | s | ↳ summary: changbin wasn’t paying any attention to his babygirl and so you decided to get him jealous by flirting with hyunjin. he dragged you into his bedroom and teached you a lesson of how to behave.

↳ read here

hwang hyunjin

— homecoming | 1.4k | s | ↳ summary: hyunjin was gone for the unveil tour and finally comes to your apartment, a day earlier than you expected. he finds you trying on some of the new lingerie you have gotten from your sister.

↳ read here

— the new toy | 3.3k | s | ↳ summary: y/n is frustrated because she lost her job, her best friend jeongin helps her and organizes a job interview with the ceo of the biggest marketing company. mr. hwang gets a lot of interest in you and ends up introducing you into the company and then later on introduce you into his playroom.

↳ read here  ᴘᴀʀᴛ  𝟷 | 𝟸

— glaring eyes | 1.5k | s | ↳ summary: you have been acting bratty all day by sending hyunjin multiple lingerie photos and he is not having any of your disrespect, so he has decided to help you remember that he is in charge. 

↳ read here

— i want it to hurt | 1.2k | s | ↳ summary: hyunjin is very overprotective and easily jealous, you without knowing it flirt with felix. he gets you into his room to show you how only he can have you. 

↳ read here

— moments of love | 1.3k | f | ↳ summary: scenarios of the maknae line falling in love with the reader. 4 imagines of pure fluff.

↳ read here

— love me again | 1.7k | a | ☆ ↳ summary: after your 2 year relationship with hyunjin ended he came into your life again as your roommates new boyfriend and your feelings play with you. not just you having feelings again he falls for you and you two relive the reason why you fell for each other.

↳ read here 

han jisung

— moments of love | 1.3k | f |  ↳ summary: scenarios of the maknae line falling in love with the reader. 4 imagines of pure fluff.

↳ read here

— there’s always a first time | 5.3k | m |  ☆

↳ summary: your brother seungmin is very protective over you, but one day your best friend gave you a stick and poke tattoo and you get an infection. fortunately seungmin’s friend jisung as a hobby tattoo fanatic helps you take care of it and when seungmin wasn’t there you two decide to run away.

↳ read here 

lee felix

— moments of love | 1.3k | f |  ↳ summary: scenarios of the maknae line falling in love with the reader. 4 imagines of pure fluff.

↳ read here

kim seungmin

— moments of love | 1.3k | f |  ↳ summary: scenarios of the maknae line falling in love with the reader. 4 imagines of pure fluff.

↳ read here

— all you have to do is beg | 939 | m | ☆ ↳ summary: seungmin introduced you into BDSM. you are not the type to beg nor to submit to anyone. seungmin has a unique way of getting you to do as he says.

↳ read here 

yang jeongin

— moments of love | 1.3k | f |  ↳ summary: scenarios of the maknae line falling in love with the reader. 4 imagines of pure fluff.

↳ read here

— i’m here for you | 750 | f | ↳ summary: i.n a rising singer from SKZ but after having a vacation with your boyfriend, dispatch is really getting very into your personal lives. Innie saw that you are upset so he took you to the beach and helped you to overcome your fear of the ocean.

↳ read here

s e r i e s

key ↯

✓— complete ✎ — in progress ⊗ — hiatus ✗ — discontinued

― https://sugarbaby.com | sugardaddy!au, mafia!au | chan/reader | s | ⊗

ɪɴᴅᴇx: 𝟷 | 𝟸 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 |

― be quiet | fuckboy!au | chan/reader | s | ✎ ɪɴᴅᴇx: 𝟷 | 𝟸 | 3

― the new toy | ceo!au | hyunjin/reader | s | ⊗

ɪɴᴅᴇx: 𝟷 | 𝟸 |

o t h e r   s t u f f

skz hot edit

chronosaurus ☞ chan

hero’s soup ☞ hyunjin

stray kids as vines

Hyunjin mafia au edit video

Llama Hyunjin

Hyunjin Kkami Sunshine edit

Hyunjin Kkami My Side edit

Hyunjin The less I know the better

Exid Lady 90s Edit

[nintendylan64]

My problems with FNAF Lore

Hey guys. I felt like I wanted to explain my problems with the FNAF lore, and how the lore was ruined for me years ago.

My history with the franchise and the lore Now, I discovered the Five Nights at Freddy's franchise back in 2014 through DanTDM's Let's Play of Five Nights at Freddy's 2. It was the first time I had ever been introduced to the jumpscares and characters in-game. But I actually discovered the first game through a YTP someone made of it. With how little I knew from discovering that YTP, I assumed that Freddy, Bonnie, Chica, and Foxy were anthropomorphic animals that ran the place, and that Freddy just liked to leave scary stuff in his office because he was a horror guy. That assumption was way off and DanTDM's Let's Play let me discover that the antagonists weren't anthropomorphic animals. I then discovered Markiplier's videos on the games in 2014, and fan-animations of the games like SMG4's Freddy's Spaghettiria series, and Piemations' 5 AM at Freddy's series. Besides the surprising jumpscares, what really got me hooked on the FNAF series was the 80s-90s aesthetics, and the lore behind it all. Around late 2014 and early 2015, I had discovered the hidden lore series by MrCreepyPasta, which was what got me interested in exploring the lore. I loved the FNAF lore when it was just, "Man kills 5 kids in pizzeria joint and the animatronics become haunted by the spirits of the kids". This made it feel much more realistic, as murder of kids in a place like this can happen in real life. The fact that the staff weren't behind any of it, and that the guards were originally just some average joes who got hired for a night guard position without knowing the dangers of it was also very realistic too. And the inclusion of another tragic event known as the "Bite of '87" was also interesting. But the biggest thing that made the lore have a charm to it, was how there was an implied history of Fazbear Entertainment, and FNAF 2 showed us the history of the place before the tragedies happened, as well as implying that the negative impression was stuck before the murders was also interesting. The lore was interesting back then because of how realistic and mysterious it was. And when the third game came out, it was a great conclusion to the franchise, in which the killer got his comeuppance, leaving the kid's souls to rest in peace. And the killer haunting the suit he died in as an attempt to escape his torment of being trapped in a suit, eventually leaving him to be burned alive in the location he was at was a very nice way to end things. But the way it had expanded on the story by taking place thirty years after the events of the first game, with the unsolved mysteries of Fazbear Entertainment trying to be recreated by people was a good way to expand upon the story. So basically, I prefer the FNAF lore when it was the story of how kids were murdered in a pizzeria joint, and how they eventually got revenge on their killer, while room was made to show us how the pizzeria joint handled this, and how the alleged hauntings were shown through the animatronics being possessed. Because of the lore being so interesting, I tried making up my own timelines to tie the story of the first three games together. And seeing as how the lore was concluded, it should've just ended there, right? Well... it didn't.

Where the problems crept in I think that the problems with the lore crept in with the fourth game. Now, this game could've had potential, as it could've taken place in the location where the withered animatronics were used in before FNAF 2, but it didn't do that. We got instead a child suffering through nightmares, with animatronics that have particularly stupid designs. Plus, what made it worse was that the Bite of 83 was introduced, making the topic of the Bite of'87 confusing since it was implied it happened in the second game, but now it was happening in the fourth game? But then it was revealed to be a separate event, why two separate events of the same thing? What constitutes the idea of establishing a similar event to the Bite of '87? It had nothing to impact the games itself at all. The bigger thing that was confusing is this, Fredbear's Family Diner was implied to have been closed for longer than 1983-1987, and the fact that you see the unwithered versions of the withered animatronics in Fredbear's makes it all the more confusing, since Fredbear's was established as a separate, and early location before it was later re-enfranchised as Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. So why retcon what was established in the previous games? Why not just show us in the fourth game what happened with the withered animatronics before they became withered, and then make a fifth game that took place in Fredbear's Family Diner? I don't know why Scott felt the need to retcon things, especially since most people thought that the franchise had already ended with the third game. Later on down the line, Sister Location came out in 2016. And I honestly hate Sister Location, lore-wise that is. The reason I say this is because Sister Location fucked up everything more than the 4th game. This time, there was more retconning, the horror tone and 80s-90s aesthetic was gone, the game felt like Sci-fi and less like the older games. Worse, Purple Guy was given an actual name, and turned from a cold-blooded killer that killed kids because of being a psychopath, into a mad scientist obsessed with placing souls into animatronics using soul juice in an attempt to create murderous animatronics, and he killed kids to do this, but most of them were his own or his friend's kids, Fazbear Entertainment was actually started by this maniac, and Mike Schmidt from FNAF 1 was no longer an average joe working a night shift job, but instead the son of the killer and later became an unrealistic purple zombie that somehow got hired for night shift positions. Jeremy and Fritz were no longer average joes either, and were now aliases for the purple zombie who's actual name was Michael Afton, making Mike Schmidt another alias for this zombie. And now, this was more about a family that was insane to begin with trying to put their own personal demons to rest, rather than the story of the murder of 5 children in a pizzeria joint, and the killer gets his comeuppance while the faceless pizzeria chain tried keep its reputation afloat, eventually failing which lead to the closure of it. All of this shattered how I interpreted the lore. The biggest things that Sister Location fucked up were the following. 1. Taking away the 80s/90s aesthetic. In the first and second game, the game has an 80s and 90s aesthetic with the looks of the locations and decor, as well as the camera sounds sounding like cassette tapes, and the first took place in the early 90s, while the second took place in the late 80s. FNAF 3 kept the 80s/90s aesthetic, and I'd argue FNAF 4 kept the old aesthetic too, such as how old everything looked in FNAF 3, and how the house looks particularly old in FNAF 4. FNAF SL's aesthetics look way too futuristic for a FNAF game, especially since it's said to take place before the first 4 games. 2. Making it more sci-fi. The original FNAF games, and the fourth one were meant to be horror games, and they established this greatly with audio and visual cues, as well as the storyline having a horror-esque feel to it during the first 3 games, and even the 4th game kept. The focus on sci-fi traits or elements in SL kind of kills the horror-esque feel that FNAF originally gave off, especially the whole soul juice and mad scientist part. 3. Making Fazbear Entertainment have an owner. Fazbear Entertainment should've just been left as a faceless corporation that had nothing to do with the murders, the type of company to try and cover up the damage done to their reputation by cutting costs or not batting an eye when a man kills children in their restaurant. 4. Making Mike, Jeremy, and Fritz into aliases. It doesn't make any sense as to why a company would hire a foul smelling zombie who kept changing his name. I think that Mike, Jeremy, and Fritz should've just been average joes that got night guard positions not knowing that their jobs were dangerous and not knowing the hauntings of the pizzeria they applied to work for. And 5. The Afton Family. The Afton Family completely ruined the idea of the children being killed at Freddy's by an unknown man, since now it's just about a family killing his own for a dumb mad science experiment and the son is trying to stop his own father, making it so you no longer play as an average joe that discovers the dark secrets and hauntings of a pizzeria joint, but instead you're just playing as a zombie that needs to kill his own father in order to stop his father from killing anyone else. Seriously, it feels less like a horror game, and now feels more like a badly written self-insert sci-fi story with some bit of horror mixed in. The FNAF series is way too complicated to figure out now due to loads of retconning and unnecessary changes made to the story. Worse, the Nightmare, Funtime, and other animatronics that have been added to the franchise just seems like an excuse for Scott to just add new characters simply to keep the franchise going. Now, let's look at a FNAF fan-game series with a better written story.

Five Nights at Candy's Five Nights at Candy's has a much easier to understand story than FNAF. In the first game, you play as a female night guard at a burger joint where an unfortunate incident occurred between an animatronic and a customer, and an incident involving two kids at the factory where the animatronics were made. The backstory of everything, such as the original location and the burger joint's opening are explained in FNAC 3, showing how two unfortunate incidents at the puppet/animatronic theatre led to the closure of the place. We also learn more about the main character from the first game, and the one who caused the murders as well as the victims. In the second game, everything is concluded with the daughter of the guard solving the mysteries of the old factory. The reason is because Emil Macko managed to actually tell the story in an effective way, without retconning anything and without relying entirely on twists and misdirection.

Conclusion So yeah, I can't stand FNAF lore post-FNAF 4, because of how it became way too confusing to understand, and with how the series started retconning tons of things and making unnecessary changes. And it's amazing how a FNAF fan-game was able to tell its story better than the actual FNAF fan-games. So for me, I'm sticking with the FNAF 1-3 lore, which is my interpretation of it. Before I end this blog though, what's annoying is that no matter if you mention the FNAF 1-3 lore on YouTube, people will instantly start bringing in the modern FNAF lore and correct you, even if you're following you're headcanon.

[kareofbears]

persona 5 strikers thoughts and feelings

This is going to be a long post. Like, the type of post you’d only really have time to read when you’re trying to sleep but you’re not ready to be unconscious yet so you’re just looking for something to do to spend your time with minimal effort. 

So in 2018, a masterpiece was born into the world: Into the Spider-verse was released and it was amazing—it’s honestly the best spiderman movie we have without a doubt, and it’ll be very far into the future before Spider-verse is beaten as the best spiderman movie. Them’s the facts. Then in 2019, Spider-man: Far From Home was dropped. It’s a great movie! Great characters, great continuation of who these characters are and works fantastic as a continuation of a story. It’s really hard trying to take the torch of a previous movie (or in Marvel’s case, juggling twenty something movies) and come up with a new movie that both works on its own, as well as being the next step in this series of films. Thus, with that idea in mind, I think it’s kind of unfair to judge into the spiderverse and far from home, because these are two movies with two completely different objectives in mind. 

Okay, so this is still a persona 5 strikers post, I promise, but the idea is the same: Persona 5 could basically do whatever it wanted—new story, new characters, new everything, and it’s just plain old awesome. However, Persona 5 strikers did not have that sort of freedom. It was bound to the original game, and it had its own rules and stuff it had to keep intact, characters they had to work with, and on top of that, it had to justify its existence as a sequel (lets pretend money doesnt exist lmfao). 

SO, the big question is: did it do that? Did it justify its existence? 

And my answer: holy fuck did it ever do that

I came into this game knowing the extreme bare minimum. I knew there was someone named Sophia, and i knew there was roadtrip, and i knew there were Personas. That’s my knowledge of it before i played it on the Switch.  I should also clarify like, early on, that i was not expecting anything from this game. At all. I was the world’s biggest cynic of this game—if you scroll down my p5s tag far enough, youll just see me complaining about a game that hasn’t even come out yet. I was fully expecting to have this be a Waifu show, and any male character that isn’t Akira to just be shoved aside like some kind of nerd in a high school hallway, and i have never been more pleased to be wrong. In fact, i actually owe it an apology, because of how fucking rude i was for no reason!!! Because this game deserves everything to be honest. 

Persona 5 strikers is, frankly, insane. Insane in the sense that it got to pull shit off that just would never have existed in the original game, because the original game is scared. It had to be as impressive as possible and garner as much attention as possible. Strikers does not have that problem—every single person who bought that game does not need to be convinced that persona 5 is a good game. They already played it. That means Atlus can just fuck around and have a good time, and man did they have a good time. There’s still scenes that still shock me if i think about it too hard, because i’m used to atlus having to follow this sort of rule set when it comes to persona 5 (or any of the main games im assuming, but i havent played them.) And on top of that, there’s still shit that’s Atlus Trademarked Branded in a good way. The style of story of story telling, and revealing the mystery that is so integral to what p5 is, is still there. 

So, to make this even a little bit comprehensible, i will make a list! 

First of all, What is this game?

In short, this game is an OVA of an anime. It’s bonus side content that has one thing in mind: to showcase these lovable characters more by putting them in fun situations. That’s it, and it is just phenomenal. That was the main point of, i’d say, like forty hours of the game. It’s just fun times with fun characters. 

But to get deeper of what i think is happening, or what they were thinking during the development, is that this is a second opportunity. Persona 5 (as we all know) had a lot of problems, and we were not quiet about those problems. We yelled it all out, made posts, made complaints on every social media platform ever. And Atlus heard all of them, and Strikers is a way to mitigate those mistakes. Aside from being a fun OVA, Strikers also works to be a deeper exploration of these characters—more specifically, the characters that did not receive much in the original game. Creating this sequel is having the ability to redo what they felt (or to be more specific, we felt) in the original game while adding new ones. I will get to that in a second.  

The format of the game 

Absolutely brilliant to throw them on a road trip. P5V already forced us to experience Shibuya for 200+ hours, and im so glad that they didn’t do that again. Going from town to town, making us experience these new places alongside our favorite characters is so good, and it just makes sense. It’s fun, it’s lighthearted, and it’s actually shockingly good. But one thing i do want to talk about early on is the way the story unfolds and the villains that they use, and what they do with it because it’s very interesting. 

So as we explore japan and stuff, we encounter jails, and with those jails comes an antagonist. This antagonist works to be a parallel to one of our characters. That character will find it in their hearts to feel bad for the antagonist, because the antagonist could have been them had the original game not happen. At first I thought all of the thieves were gonna get an antagonist, and i was really hyped for the ryuji one. And then came to hour forty of the game where i realized “yeah that’s not gonna happen. There’s just not enough time.” And i was right, and the game ended. But i am not salty at all, honestly, because the people who got a direct antagonist were: Ann, Yusuke, and Haru. (we wont count zen and sophie). 

Is there a trend??? Yes. these are all characters in the original game that have received the worst treatment by atlus. The three of them are basically cast aside the minute they finished their original arc, and its horrible! BUT that’s why this is the path that atlus chose for them—to give them more depth, and screentime, and a way to show their inner self. That isn’t to say that the ones who aren’t those three (makoto, futaba, mona, akira, ryuji) didn’t get anything. Futaba still has her thing at the end with ichinose, and she was very prevalent and animated during the rest of the game. Mona and Akira have to be a focal points, that’s just the nature of the game. The other two though, I will talk about in depth in a second.  

Makoto

Y’all i poke fun at shumako fans sometimes cause its kind of easy and fun, but i honestly love makoto. In my very first playthrough of p5 (my first ever jrpg game, first persona game, i had no idea what i was doing), i had only maxed out two characters: ryuji and makoto. And i know she had a lot of screentime and love in the original game which is great, but i truly felt like she was dissed in this game. Her only roles were

A driver

Someone to tell them “we don’t have a choice. Let’s keep going and see where this takes us.” (seriously, if you replay this game, you will see how much she does this)

Idk, i just wish she had more to do, especially compared to how much love they gave the other characters. 

But let’s talk about some of the new characters! 

Zenkichi

Damn you atlus. Damn you and your insistence at bringing in cop characters. I was fully on board with hating zenkichi, i was fucking ready for it. I was convinced that there was nothing they could do convince to like zenkichi. I was immune to their copaganda. 

And then i ended up loving him, which makes me sad a little bit. I didn’t realize how desperate i was to have an adult who has a persona. Someone who wants the world to change just as much as they do, while still having that aspect of them that makes them adult. Like??? As someone who is technically an adult, its a breath of fresh air. An adult. Who fights. For justice. Using a persona. And god i love akane so much, and her obsession with the thieves (that scene is probably in my top ten fave scenes of the game). Also what i loved about zenkichi is that he fucking hates the cops!! He hates the system of the cops!! And thats why i actually really started to love him!! Because i thought it was atlus saying that the systematic problem of the police cannot be solved by one person, and zenkichi threw away his badge. I actually cried at that part!! 

But then he became a cop again, and i was just :/ but as a character, i really love him to bits and would love to do a study on him, or at least use him as an outside pov. But! i absolutely love his persona, since im a les miserables fan hehe

Sophia 

she’s probably my favorite new aspect of the game. I was ready to not like her—again, i just suck like that, lmfao—and when i saw her, i was scared that she was just another waifu. I mean, she was very cute after all. But then as the game went on, i thought she was a little too cute. And even further into the game, i finally slapped myself in the face and realized oh my god shes not a waifu. Shes a sister. 

That blew my mind, im ngl to you. A female character that isn’t supposed to be romanced? By jove, what a miracle! 

And she…is an amazing character. Im sorry, i just love her so much. I love her so much that she  probably ranks as my fifth or sixth favorite character which is surprising even to me. Everything about her is delightful and invigorating. She’s funny??? Her comedic timing is amazing, and she has such chemistry with the rest of the team. She’s actually useful to the plot, and while her character design is a little too on the nose for me in terms of cuteness (i mean, good god she’s wearing oversized sweater to show how cute and tiny she is, and her hair has literal hearts in it), she is absolutely lovable. 

But what i actually really wanna gush about for a second is sophia at the last stage of the game. You get the idea, i dont really like to get excited over things, so at this point i figured that there was nothing this game could do to shock me. 

And then sophia had a persona awakening. 

Like. holy fuck did i yell. I didnt realize what was happening until the music had already kicked in. and its just so fucking smart!!! Sophia??? The ai?? With no heart?? gOT A PERSONA???? AWAKENING??? BECAUSE SHE LEARNED WHAT THE HEART IS AND THE PASSION THAT YOU NEED IN ORDER TO GET A PERSONA??? I started crying honestly, because it was just so smart. And looking back on it now, its obvious!! Of course it would lead to this, it only made sense that the culmination of her character arc leads to her getting a persona, nothing else would have been as good. Also, her voice actor is just amazing?? When she was talking to ichinose at the end, i actually got incredibly emotional because of the line reads. Its just so spot on and it really captures the essence of sophia.

Muah. five stars Atlus. You got me. 

Ryuji <3!!!!

Oh man. Oh boy. Okay. so where do i start. 

Yall know i love him. Hes probably my favorite fictional male character of all time, and he is the one i was the absolute most cynical about in this game. I was expecting literally nothing. Nothing. Like. nothing. I thought he was just gonna keep being used as a joke, or a gag, and he’s gonna be super horny all the time for the other girls and it was gonna make me mad and there was gonna be some insane homophobic/queerphobic jokes in every other scene and i know i was being unfair, but i cant help it. 

And then i played the first two hours of the game, and i cried the entire time. Because ryuji has never been better than he is in this game. Its crazy. 

The ryuji in persona 5 strikers is who ryuji should have been/how he should have been treated this entire time. From the actual funny jokes (for example, the gold bar joke + his reaction to it in the beginning of the game), defending his female friends instead of being the one people need to defend from (natsume arc), and the fact that he was the one to be there with morgana and akira in the very beginning of the game. Its such a small thing that they didnt even need to do, but it was such an integral part of the original game for me, that i just was convinced that nothing like this was going to happen. But then it happened. Its just small stuff like that that could have been overlooked but it wasn’t because this game? Persona 5 strikers? Fucking loves ryuji. 

The actual respect they gave this boy is insane and i wasn't ready for it. Like, they gave the shujin trio lunch, they gave the little charm of the katana when they were in natsume’s jail, and, in my opinion this is the second-best thing that they could have given ryuji is sophia. Ryuji and sophia are the pinnacle of a brother & sister bonding relationship in the game that isn’t akira & futaba. And its really prevalent too?? Small stuff from the beginning of the game (pulling her out of a jail, calling her shorty), but then you have the iconic “shut the fuck up” scene, and that scene was so well characterized and written and voice acted, that somehow him saying “fuck” was the least exciting part of that scene to me. Ryuji is an older brother to her, like its undoubtable, and its only further cemented at the end of the game where Ryuji helps out ichinose because he knows how much sophia cares about her. This game. Love ryuji. And i love. This game. 

You know what else i love? Akiryu. 

Guys. i was fully prepared to starve in terms of akiryu. But theres just. So much of it. I wont get too deep into it, because i think this aspect of the game for me still needs marinate a little bit. Like, what was that last shot when EMMA died and Ryuji walked to approach Akira so they could relish in their victory together?? And the smile from both of them??? What the fuck. That was amazing. Also Joker being saved by Ryuji when he was about to fall from the cliff to save sophia??? WHAT. The LEADER AND HIS RIGHT HAND MAN? WHAT. anyway. If theres anything i want to keep for myself in my own brain, its the akiryu aspect of this game, so i wont talk too much about that part of things (instead, itll probably manifest in fic lmfaooo). 

Sure, there’s tidbits of stuff i dont like that they gave ryuji: sexualizing ann in that one cut scene and making him touch the jails even though it hurts, and i recognize those and frown at them, but for the most part, i am blown away with how they treated him.

Basically, Ryuji has never been better. From the opening of the game with him being the first text message and the one to sling his arm around akira, to the very last cut scene where it was ryuji wordlessly leaving because he’s so confident that they would never be separated for long, this game adores Ryuji and i am so so happy to say that.

The Royal aspect of things

Yeah, i had to talk about this, but itll be a short thing i just wanted to point out. Because the last part of this game...is persona 5 royal. Which is curious. Like taking reality and giving that power to someone else so you dont have to experience suffering anymore? And even like, the final section just looked a lot like the top half of maruki’s palace?? And whats even crazier is that we had a boss fight with sophia, just like how we had a boss fight with sumire? Royal and Strikers have like, the same thesis statement. It’s kind of uncanny.It’s interesting, it’s like atlus came up with these two ideas, and then just decided they liked both of them so much that they just did it twice. I don’t mind though—actually, in terms of how the last Palace/Jails go, i probably like them both about equally. 

Though i did love the final battle in this one more than i did in royal. Splitting into teams?? Thats cool as fuck, and really innovative and i didnt see it coming. It also kicked my ass. A lot. 

Now for the last stretch: the small stuff!

The music — bomb as fuck. In my heart, Daredevil is ranked the same as Rivers. Axe to grind is also amazing, but Daredevil owns me

Akechi — i really debated whether or not to talk about him, but i figured a bullet point should be enough. Im really shocked that he wasnt in this at all. Like not even a name drop. If this is an OVA, and the point of the game is to please the fans, and akechi is arguably the fan favorite character, i was really ready for something. But there was nothing, except for the pancake hallway if that even counts as a reference. Thats it. Thats all i wanted to say about him.

The humour — FUCKING HILARIOUS im convinced that in my fifty hour playtime, five of that is dedicated to me laughing and unable to continue the game 

Akira — so much personality! His lines of dialogue are crazy sometimes (like. Whats up with him saying Ryuji has ‘nice abs’ when they were in bath? Im crazy and even i dont know what the fuck that could mean) 

Battle system — oh my god i almost forgot to talk about this. I love it! I kind of miss the turn based aspect just because i found it very comforting for some reason, but this hack and slash style of gameplay is so invigorating because i do feel like it justifies shit like the baton pass and huge attacks.  This battle system fully encompases how the Phantom Thieves are supposed to fight, you know what i mean?

Anyway, thats my thoughts on strikers. Loved it. Amazing. 9.3/10, wouldve been higher but Konoe’s Jail almost bored me to death. Also im a monster and i didnt do any requests that isn’t a fun one, teehee. As if i play persona 5 for the persona aspect of things.

[partnersatfazbear]

Midnight Motorist - An Essay

I promised this awhile ago, but my thoughts on Midnight Motorist... This mini-game has literally kept me awake for hours on two separate occasions trying to figure it out, lol! So, reading the Updated Freddy Files *suggests, not confirms* that Toy Chica: The High School Years may be how William lured each child. I made notes on this, of course.

Although I listed who was used as a stand in for each, it has no bearing on the actual child killed.

The first, represented by Foxy, is already dead. I assumed this was a stand in for Norman/CC.

Second, represented by Freddy, was lured away with promises to help with homework.

Third, represented by Wolf. Run over their dog. We all know this is referring to Susie/Chica.

Fourth, represented by Toy Bonnie. It was suggested that their house be set on fire and then Chica uses her body to put out the flames. Best I could settle for this one was perhaps pulling a fire alarm at the restaraunt, or something similar.

Fifth, Funtime Foxy. Live hostages. Presumably luring a child away with promises that their friend / missing friend is in the back room.

Sixth, the Puppet. This one is the most interesting and why I'm including it here. Chica says "I'll come over to their house later, maybe break through a window, or set the house on fire and smoke them out [IIRC, I am paraphrasing a little]" The window, in my honest opinion, has to refer to Midnight Motorist. Scott has made a point of adding things in a following game to clarify the game before (starting at least since Sister Location). With the other one referencing Susie and Fruity Maze, I think this theory holds up, although it doesn't really help solve Midnight Motorist I think it's very important to note. (William has as much of an obsession with fire as Henry, huh?)

Lastly, there is Pigpatch. It's implied William would have knocked out a child and told them he rescued them after being "kidnapped". I really like this one.

The number of victims adds up to the number of children: BV, Freddy, Foxy, Bonnie, Chica, Golden Freddy, and Puppet.

Now that that's out of the way, I feel this heavily implies the footprints outside the window in MM are William's. The feet match the Glitchtrap suit, which most of us assume is a prototype for Spring Bonnie. Not only that, but obviously the springlock suits wouldn't work in the rain. Second, if you take some logic to it and see Charlotte as the first victim (no suit, no hiding the body, developing MO) then this killing would be the start of his MO--kind of an "in-between" point where he's evolving. Now, as to who the people in the house are...

In my fic, I kept the general idea that it was William as mustard man (thank you MatPat, this is my fav name for our mysterious fellow). Mostly because despite the evidence listed there is still a ton of evidence supporting it:

Later That Night - this is the name of the game file for MM.

Rain - Due to the in-game rain and this title its heavily implied to be just after Charlotte's death.

Grey Text - Michael is the only one to have the grey text and has similarities to Chair Person. (Note: I think Matpat did point out the color is slightly different, but it's still grey.)

Purple Car - William is the only one seen with a Purple Car back in one of the mini-games (FNAF 2, IIRC). To further support this, the car is also seen as an easter egg in the Dreadbear DLC of Help Wanted (with purple headlights). This is probably the most damning evidence that Mustard Man is William, in my opinion... but then how do the footprints make sense?

In my fic, I explained it away as footprints from the evening before (it was the best I could muster at the time) but this is super weak :V So this kind of brings us to alternative theories. If it is William, the supporting evidence is... good evidence of that. So, the other options are:

A Child Victim's Family - This is my second favorite theory because I think it could possibly work for, say, TOYSNHK [The One You Should Not Have Killed, hereby pronounced Toy-Shnuck] (who I made Cassidy). The problem with this is the child's gender is referred to as male. And there's a huge debate on Cassidy being female in game lore and TOYSNHK/GF being male. It IS a gender neutral name and wouldn't be the first time Scott changed a gender (see: Puppet), BUT it's pretty weak since all the info we have on TOYSNHK is recent. It could be another child that isn't Susie, though, but why show some random child as opposed to an important one? PizzaSim's games all revolve around specifics like Puppet (the first to die overall) and Susie (the first to die of the main five).

Henry is Mustard Man - This is the theory my wife likes. I can sort of see it and I even considered it at one point, but there isn't much evidence to go on. Why is the car purple is the biggest wrench for me. I also have problems with Mustard Man's attitude ("This is MY house", "He'll be sorry") Even if Henry was torn up about Charlotte, I can't see him treating his kids this way. This would also heavily imply the missing window kid to be Sammy, which hasn't been referenced in the game lore at all. He was barely mentioned in the novel trilogy, even. This also makes Gray Text either Aunt Jen or Henry's wife. There's just not enough to support this, in my opinion.

UPDATE 5/28/21 - Please see this post analyzing Fazbear Fright’s story “What We Found” for a more detailed look at what I’m about to explain that supports the Henry theory: Also from the books, CC / Norman is now referred to as Evan.

For this to work, we must assume Henry is an alcoholic after Charlotte’s death. I think the “later that night” evidence becomes somewhat irrelevant, because if this was the night of Charlotte’s death it wouldn’t really make sense. Part of me wondered if it took place after FNAF 2′s Springtrap cutscene, but the footprints don’t match. It has to be Spring Bonnie or Glitchtrap. Also, Evan and Elizabeth have also died by this point because neither are seen in the mini-game in this theory. You also must assume, based on the story evidence, that Henry married / stayed with Mrs. Afton after William either “died” or they divorced--they had to have been together for an x amount of time as for Mrs. Afton to be living with Henry but also the fact that Mrs. Afton kept Michael and the purple car. Henry using William’s car wouldn’t be unheard of if Mrs. Afton kept the car and the house, I just don’t feel Henry would use it unless he had been using the vehicle awhile. This also explains the Bonnie-esque footprints outside since William would want to come get / visit his kid he’s [most likely] no longer allowed to see. He may even be taking Michael back to the FNAF 4 house (implying that the house we see in MM is Henry’s). Speaking of, if we assume William’s intentions are [likely] bad, he’s probably taking Michael back to experiment with the Funtime-Nightmares, if you believe this theory. I think this theory is probably true considering the random grave (which, in this context has no answer except a Twisted animatronic aka a Nightmare) AND because the blueprints in Sister Location SHOW the Nightmares on the display during Funtime Freddy’s repair, implying they are real and not imagined. This is also assumed to be punishment for Michael killing Evan. I think Michael goes WITH William because of his tumultuous relationship with a now mentally ill and drunkard Henry. Henry probably knows that William killed Charlotte and a common theme in some works is a parent seeing their child (or a murderer) in a child aka Michael reminds Henry of William, so he neglects him (which in itself wouldn’t be out of place for Henry, since he already wasn’t a very attentive parent).

The main issue with this theory is that it sort of assumes that CC was Michael and not Evan. I don’t think that’s the case, though.

While we're on this version, I also want to discuss evidence for the MM driver being drunk. Not only are you driving on the opposite side of traffic, the Files book explicitly states "crashing" into the secret road for the mini-game. Not that Henry couldn't be drunk, especially if he just found Charlotte dead, but... for me personally it seems a stretch. And I already mentioned the car.

William's Father - This is an interesting idea, but the foot prints kind of rule it out. At least there's an explanation for the car, though, right? Still, it doesn't explain the foot prints unless you assume maybe his father was more alike Afton than we thought. But then why bother showing us background on our killer so late with no pay off? I easily dismiss this theory.

A new theory, at least one I haven't seen posed yet:

Vanny - That's right. Vanny. What if she survived/lived? Some leaks even suggest she may be related to the Aftons. Mustard Man's color is similar to Princess Quest's heroine. It explains the footprints, but doesn't explain the car. This would make for a nice foreshadowing of Vanny, IMO, but it’s weak at best.

You know when Matpat discusses "that one puzzle peice that we're missing"? That's this entire mess of a mini-game. Don't get me wrong, the music is bawlin and it's fun to talk about, otherwise I wouldn't write about it, but it is undoubtedly FRUSTRATING.

What are your opinions?

I also wanted to point out some other interesting things from the Files book I haven't seen discussed: There is confirmation of two sets of gold suits. Not only is there the FNAF 2 phone call, but the text specifies between Spring Bonnie/Springtrap and Fredbear/Golden Freddy. IE: FNAF 4 suit is Springtrap but the one from Stage 01 is Spring Bonnie. This could be oversight, but... I don't think it is. I'm sure most of the fandom does ASSUME this anyway, but I felt it was worth noting. (In my fic, they are the same suit, but the second sets are upgraded after the original failures).

The poster behind Scraptrap. Nothing really interesting here, but there is an image of a building with two gargoyle (lion?) statues behind him. Presumably this would be a police station or Fazbear Fright. I just thought it was cool since I never noticed this in the image. My initial thought was this might be a reference to the hospital in Man in 1280, but that’s a stretch.

Jr's. This is the random building in Midnight Motorist in which Green Man says "gtfo" to our Mustard Man. I should mention I feel that is good evidence to it being William or Henry, depending what the building is. We can 100% say it is NOT a bar (in my fic, that's what I used, even though it doesn't make sense. I don't see a drunk person driving to a second bar so close to their home when they could have gone there initially, BUT then I am a home-drinker when I do drink, so I don't know the night life). The Files refer to it as simply "a restaraunt". Whether this IS a FNAF location (also referred to as restaraunts) or just some random eatery, it's something to contemplate. I am in the camp that it isn't FNAF 2, at least.

I have some other things from Fazbear Frights' Blackbird I wanna discuss, too, but I'll wait until the book is out to help you all avoid spoilers.

Now, this is all just my thoughts on it. Please don't take anything too seriously (as Scott says don't rack your brain on this, it's not worth it). I just think these are some points that haven't been discussed before.

Also, if you wanna read my theory on why Scraptrap is partly the Golden Freddy suit, I have that theory here.

Thanks for coming to my ted talk? <-- is that a dated reference? Probably.

[hellreads]

what are some of the most filthiest fics you've ever read?

this is the HARDEST ASK I have received so far, I spaced out after seeing this ask trying to recall every single filthy fic I ever read because there’s a lot but I will only be adding three fics per member for this ask, now, what I consider filthy may not be your cup of tea or may seem vanilla to y’all but to each their own, btw filthy to me includes threesomes to gangbangs because we’re weak for double penetration in this house, a lot of cum play and sloppy seconds, dirty talk, degradation, and more ~ by more I mean feelings, I need to feel something before drowning me in good explicit smut but I like pwps too lol, anyway, enough of my ramblings let’s get to the list! | 🍒

NOTE: please check all tags and warnings before reading a fic, read any of these at your own risk!

TOP PICKS

❥ The Hills by @minflix➴ Ski-Trip/Vacation!AU | Yoongi x Reader x Hoseok | Series➴ A ski trip with old friends sounds like a fun time, right?when your ex-boyfriend (who you hate but somehow always end up in bed with) and your stepbrother (who you are harboring not-so-secret feelings for) tag along at the last minute, you have a feeling it won’t be an uneventful weekend.but fun? debatable. that remains to be seen.

❥ Pour Up by jungxkook (deactivated/story no longer here on tumblr)➴ Fuckboy/Fratboy!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook | One-Shot➴ You like to pretend you hate Jungkook and Taehyung but sleeping with both of them doesn’t sound so terrible especially when you’re drunk and faded.

❥ Extreme Obsession by saylilirose➴ Psychological/Yandere!AU | OT7 x Reader | Series➴ In life, you meet one person that you live and grow old with. 

You? You meet seven. 

But your love? Non-existent. 

But theirs? Real…and obsessive.

Which turns deadly and dangerous. 

Without hesitation.➴ NOTE: this story contains heavy/dark/taboo themes and this isn’t for everyone, make sure you read all tags and warnings before starting this fic, you’ve been warned.

Kim Namjoon

❥ Miss Communication by @dovechim➴ Poly!AU | Namjoon x Reader x Jungkook | One-Shot➴ Poly relationships can be complicated. especially one where there’s an established hierarchy, and someone decides to break the rules. in a series of miscommunications between your boyfriends, you find yourself being the conveyor of peace and something else that isn’t quite what you expected. 

❥ Tigerboy by @joonbird➴ Hybrid!AU | Namjoon x Reader | One-Shot➴ “You, a docile rabbit hybrid, have been waiting a long time to meet the mysterious tiger hybrid, Kim Namjoon.”

❥ Criminal by @teawithkpop➴ Criminal/Police!AU | Namjoon x Reader x Yoongi x Jungkook | One-Shot➴ Namjoon is a wanted criminal, and he decides he wants you to be his ‘last meal’ before he’s booked.

Kim Seokjin

❥ The Devil Wears Armani by @floralseokjin➴ Devil!AU | Seokjin x Reader | Series➴ You never imagined accidentally attempting to sell your soul to the devil would lead to this…

❥ Off-Limits by @floralseokjin➴ Brother’s Bestfriend!AU | Seokjin x Reader | Series➴ You’ve been lusting after your brother’s best friend for a while now, ever since you met him at a house party, flirting it up a storm as you failed to realise who the other was. That was months ago now and things are still awkward, but you can’t ignore the sexual tension that’s simmers between the two of you…and it keeps getting worse…

❥ In The Bleak Midwinter by @pcyheartgirlx➴ Idol/Escort!AU | Seokjin x Reader x Chanyeol | Series➴ We’re all whores, we just sell different parts of ourselves.

You own a multi-billion dollar company, servicing the biggest names in kpop, in more ways than one. Under the name “Starlight Catering”, you, your best friends, Damon and Maya, and your hundreds of workers provide stress relief for idols.

You have partially retired, not because you didn’t want to, but because Chanyeol was your muse. He was all that you had time for and all you needed. Until Jin came along.

So what happens when you mix fire and ice?

You get smoke and all the lines are blurred.

Min Yoongi (hardest list to make, I have a lot of good Yoongi filth T_T)

❥ Zelus by bumblexfox➴ Sugar Daddy/Lovers!AU | Yoongi x Reader | One-Shot➴ Yoongi becomes jealous when your close friend Jungkook puts his hands all over you right infront of his face. So, Yoongi decides to make sure you know who you really belong to.

❥ Dead Leaves by wrienne➴ Detective!AU | Yoongi x Reader x Jimin | Series➴ In which you (reader) are a homicide detective about to face the biggest hurdle both of your career and life.

Married to probably the kindest but most boring man you’ve ever met and living in a town where nothing ever seems to happen means life for you is dull. Dull enough to drive you crazy with boredom and dissatisfaction. However, life changes abruptly when your old boss retires and a new man takes his place - a man you used to love (and sleep very regularly with) more than a decade ago. Especially when your husband comes home smelling of perfume, you’re unable to resist your more carnal urges and dead women start showing up across the city with unnerving frequency.

❥ Hyung, Open the Door by @gotmetalkinginmysleep➴ Idol!AU | Yoongi x Reader x Taehyung x Jungkook | One-Shot➴ You’ve been keeping the boys awake with your moaning for months thanks to Yoongi. Tae and Jungkook want to find out why.

Jung Hoseok 

❥ Flight 18 by @noona-la-la-la➴ Idol!AU | Hoseok x Reader | One-Shot➴ Korean Air Flight 18 leaves daily from Los Angeles traveling to Seoul. You’ve taken this flight before, but this time you’ve got an irritating passenger in the neighboring seat. Little did you know that he would end up giving you the ride of your life.

❥ See Both Sides Like Chanel by @minflix➴ Rich Kids/FWB!AU | Namjoon x Reader x Hoseok | One-Shot➴ You, Namjoon, and Hoseok are inseparable. Three best friends that grew up together since you were all in diapers.

But lately, Namjoon has been drifting away…

So on his birthday, you and Hoseok remind him just how inseparable the three of you really are.

⤷ or alternatively: a little less twenty-one candles, a little more “touch me”

❥ Langour by @littlemisskookie➴ Step-Siblings!AU | Hoseok x Reader | One-Shot➴ Hoseok’s got a lust-driven thirst for his step sister.

Park Jimin

❥ Sharing is Caring by @littlemisskookie➴ Prostitution!AU | Seokjin x Reader x Jimin | One-Shot➴ Jin graciously decides to loan you to handsome Park Jimin for the night.

❥ Power Play by @dovechim➴ Pornstar!AU | Jimin x Reader | One-Shot➴ You know him as the A-lister of all porn stars; a man who sits pretty in his place at the top of the food chain. But you also know him as the Park Jimin who single-handedly humiliated you and ruined your own career as a rookie just starting out, the epitome of the biggest dick in the entire industry… and you’re not talking about his assets. But when Park Jimin comes to you, saying he’s in a slump that only you can get him out of and begs you to sign an exclusive contract with him; things get messy… in more ways than one.

❥ Neighbors by @jkeuphoriadreamland➴ Neighbors!AU | Jimin x Reader | Series➴ Finally achieving your successes in life you never expected the distraction that came with your new hot neighbor. He, however, had been trying to get your attention for a much different reason.

Kim Taehyung & Jeon Jungkook (because majority of my fave filth includes these two ~ I am breaking the 3 fics list for them because I can dsjkhfkjasdhf)

❥ Clandestine by @ditzymax➴ Assassin!AU | Taehyung x Named OC x Jungkook | Series➴  As a professional assassin, Kim Kinsoo has many shrouded secrets in her life. Some of them she shares openly with her loving boyfriend, but there are other things he must never know.

❥ Shameless by @imaginethisbts➴ Voyeurism/Exhibitionism!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook | One-Shot➴ Taehyung’s the new guy in town, just trying to make some friends. And when Jungkook invites him to a party, he thinks he’s finally gotten a good opportunity to meet some new people. But what he doesn’t expect is witnessing his new friend Jungkook and his girlfriend, you, getting it on in front of him, and all of the other guys, at this so-called party. 

❥ When You Least Expect It by @johobi➴ F2L/Lovers!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook | Series➴ You’re in love with your childhood friend, Taehyung. The problem is, you treasure your friendship with him far too much to ever risk losing it. Oh, and he’s quite the Casanova. At your wits’ end with feelings you can no longer hide as diligently as you once did, you ask him to set you up with someone, anyone, in a last-ditch attempt to avoid a heartbreaking conversation.

❥ Stealing the Bite by @wildernessuntothemselves➴ Supernatural!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook | Series➴ In a world populated by the supernatural, witches were the most despised and mistrusted of creatures. Everyone desired to make use of their powers but no one was willing to be seen openly conferring with them. And so there came to pass a heinous practice: Small covens of witches were isolated and kept under wraps in every kingdom, to be utilized when needed, and kept under close watch to prevent them from rebelling. 

Growing up in a kingdom ruled by werewolves, abuse and scorn were a fact of life, but you were determined to put an end to it. You devised a devious plan to gain power, and it involved a certain prince.

❥ The Doms Next Door by @tatertotthethot➴ Poly/Tattoo!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook | Series➴ In which you unknowingly accept the offer to become a tattoo model for the two, sexually-crazed men next door.

❥ Maid for You by @forgottenpasta➴ Idol!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook | One-Shot➴ As Bangtan’s dorm maid you’re expected to be professional, your identity anonymous. Until Jeongguk finds you on your knees beside his bed, with his rolex in your hand.

❥ Into Temptation by coconutty➴ Demon!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook | Series➴ It was just a dare…

❥ Lust and Errors by @imaginethisbts➴ Step-Siblings!AU | Jungkook x Reader | Series➴ Stepbrother, fuck buddy… They were one and the same now. But what started out as some mindless fucking game, quickly turns into something much more difficult and complex.

❥ What’s Mine is Mine by @avveh➴ Idol!AU | Jungkook x Reader | One-Shot ➴ You caught his eye from day one. As far as Jungkook was concerned, you were always meant to be his.

❥ This Isn’t Love Darling by @junqkook➴ Mafia/Escort!AU | Jungkook x Reader | One-Shot➴ He tasted of an empty night and an eclipsing moon, with blood on his hands and fire in his eyes when he put his mouth on yours.

❥ Illicit Photography by @jkeuphoriadreamland➴ University/Photography!AU | Jungkook x Reader | Series➴ You’re a well respected university professor who assigns a portfolio project to your photography students, but your best student, Jungkook, doesn’t follow the rules very well.

❥ My Way by @ellieljade➴ Fuckbuddy!AU | Jungkook x Reader | Series➴ Jungkook doesn’t appreciate your boyfriend’s insistence that he stop sleeping with you and he knows just how to prove that you like it his way.

OT7

❥ Moth to Flame by @bang-to-the-tan➴ Vampire!AU | OT7 x Reader | Series➴ Robbed of your memories and intended as a birthday present for a deadly creature of the night, you unwittingly become the center of a territorial dispute between two covens of vampires. Tensions are rising and the brothers are getting hungry.

❥ Void by @btssavedmylifeblr➴ Space!AU | OT7 x Reader | Series➴ You are the only female crew member on a 12-year space mission with seven handsome men. The sexual tension is real, y’all.

❥ Temptation Series by @yminie➴ Idol!AU | OT7 x Reader | Series➴ Sleeping Temptation : Yoongi and Jimin come home to find you asleep on the couch. To say they were happy they beat the other members back would be an understatement.

➴ Waking Temptation : Hoseok, Taehyung and Namjoon are home, and you’re not asleep anymore.

➴ Sweeter Temptation : After an eventful evening, it’s the morning after and Jin’s there to take care of you.

➴ Breaking Temptation : Jungkook ditches movie night for other activities, and you’re not impressed.

❥ Seven Deadly Sins by @mintedmango➴ Demon!AU | OT7 x Reader | Series➴ You stood suddenly, chair being pushed away by the backs of your legs, the rest of the sins standing with you as you looked around in panic. All except Sloth who was out cold in the corner.“Oh, little pet, indeed, I am still hungry.”

❥ Physcom by @teawithkpop➴ Idol!AU | OT7 x Reader | Series➴ AU where live-in Physical Companions are provided to k-pop groups so the members can relieve their sexual related stress and tension - around their busy schedules, of course. You are one such “PhysCom”. However, complications arise when the BTS members start harboring romantic feelings for you. Feelings you’re not sure you can reject with any believable amount of conviction. Such a scandal could result in getting both you and them fired and exposed, ruining any future career options for all parties involved… it turns out the “com” in PhysCom might as well stand for complications.

❥ Cum by @honeymoonjin➴ Idol!AU | OT7 x Reader | Two-Shot➴ An episode of Run! BTS in which the seven members compete to see who can make you cum first.

❥ The Gentlemen’s Club by @brookelegend➴ Club!AU | OT7 x Reader (Hobi-Centric) | Series➴ You’ve been in a dating drought, more specifically, a sex drought. Your best friend has the perfect remedy for your problem: The Gentlemen’s Club.

[gothpanda]

A Little Bit of Attitude Ch. 34: Oakland

WORD COUNT: 9.4K

A/N: Finally. The scene I had in my head that started it all, is now in a chapter

TAGS: @madamsixx @emariehorror​

WARNINGS: ANGST

Read on Ao3

Previous/Next

June 15th, 1987

Los Angeles, California

"Are you nervous about leaving?" asked Sammi, right by Nikki's side with his arm loosely around her. The two sat at Nikki's house's front steps as the sun finished rising for a new day. It was a surprise to Sammi having Nikki wake her up so early to be told a mechanic was on his way. But there was the professional, examining the open hood of the old impala. Nikki kissed Sammi on her temple, hiding part of his face in her disheveled bedhead. Sammi wiped away the smudged black eyeliner she slept in that transferred to her under eyes.

 "Why would I be nervous about leaving? It's a tour like always," muttered Nikki, scrunching his brows together.

"No, it's not. You hate your singer, and you're trying to stay clean. You're not nervous by any measure?" asked Sammi.

Nikki cleared his throat and shifted as best as he could, running his hand through Sammi's scalp. "Vince and I have always been at each other's throats way before we tossed you in the middle. I'm not going to let him ruin my time on the road. If Vince wants to act like a spoiled princess, then that's his problem,"

"And what about 'that' drug?"

"Like I said last night, I kicked everyone who could bring it around me out. I'll be fine. You don't have to worry your pretty little head," smiled Nikki, reaching over and shortly kissing Sammi on the lips.

"My pretty little head will always worry about you, especially with my brother right by your side," said Sammi, running her hand over Nikki's morning stubble.

"Nice to know you'll always worry," teased Nikki, pinching Sammi's cheek. "How about I offer you a deal you can't refuse? One to show how great I'm doing,"

Sammi scrunched her brows together, giving an inch of space between her and Nikki. "What kind of deal?"

"We're going to be in Japan for December on my birthday. We'll be playing for about a week of shows to end the year. You should come with us," said Nikki.

"Japan?" smiled Sammi, wrinkling her brows in surprise. "Are you sure about that?"

"Well, if you don't want to go to Japan, there's Europe next year. You have options, Princess. I just think Japan would be nice since then we'll finally have that vacation I promised," said Nikki, smirking.

Sammi sighed out, pursing out her lips as she thought about the idea. "I don't know, Nikki. We're barely even together right now. I still don't even know what  this  is,"

" This is us trying, and what about wanting to work it out? It's a week, almost two, in a different county! We can stay in Asia and hop over to a different country. That's perfect to work on it! It can be great,"

"I'll think about it. It's not until December anyway, so I have time," said Sammi.

"Fine. I can agree with that. Just expect me to bug you over in Oakland," said Nikki, hanging his arm around Sammi's shoulders. Before Nikki or Sammi could say another word to each other, the mechanic came up to the couple, reading off his clipboard. Nikki stood on his feet, clearing his throat and crossing his arms in front of his chest. Sammi looked up at the men, wrapping her arms around her legs. "So what was the problem?" asked Nikki.

"The battery was dead. When was the last time you thought about changing it before it died?" asked the mechanic, frowning as he looked up at Nikki. Nikki didn't answer, only looking down at Sammi. She merely shrugged her shoulder, making Nikki scuff.

"I'm going to guess it's been a long time. Batteries only last three years, five years max," said the mechanic.

"I know, I know. You leave a lady in charge of a car, and she forgets to take care of it," teased Nikki with a smirk, earning a kick from Sammi.

"I know how to take care of my car!" objected Sammi, frowning at Nikki, who only giggled at her anger. He perceived it as cute.

"How much for the battery?" Nikki pulled out his wallet, counting the bills he had. For once, Nikki had cash on him that wasn't meant to pay off a dealer.

"50 for the battery and 60 for the service," said the mechanic writing down Nikki's receipt. They exchanged the two different kinds of paper, Nikki adding in an extra 20 as a tip for the house call. This made the mechanic a happy man as he drove out of the California valley. Nikki sat back down next to Sammi, handing her the yellow paper receipt. Sammi pouted to herself, almost glaring at Nikki.

Nikki raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"I could've done it," mumbled Sammi.

Nikki inched closer to Sammi's face, getting her to wrinkle her brows. "You could just say thank you and be nice," Sammi rolled her eyes, playfully shoving Nikki's shoulder.

"Thank. You. Nikki. For. Paying. Do you want to hear anything else?" sarcastically asked Sammi.

"Yeah, that you're going to miss me when I leave," said Nikki, wrapping his arm around Sammi again.

"Of course I'm going to miss you. You might drive me crazy, but I still like having you around me," said Sammi with a pout, resting her head on Nikki's shoulder. "What time are you leaving tomorrow?"

"Late at night in our new fancy jet. It looks so sick, Sammi. All black with the Motley logo on the nose. Maybe you can take a ride on it when we go to Oakland. Since it's fast, you'll have the luxury of a short fun trip,"

"Let's cool it with the idea of trips for a while. We're not all back on good terms," smiled Sammi, kissing Nikki on the cheek. "I think I should get going. I don't want Em and Sabrina to send out the search dogs,"

Nikki sighed out. "I guess. Do they even know you came out here?" asked Nikki, pulling Sammi on the feet.

"Yep. Sabrina's been on my ass to talk to you," said Sammi as the two walked hand in hand to the impala.

"Damn, have I mentioned how I love your friends? I love your friends. Way better than the last two I met," teased Nikki, snaking his arms around Sammi's waist, slowly pushing her to rest against the car.

Sammi chuckled, shaking her head. "Yeah yeah, I get it. You can thank Sabrina and Emma whenever you want," Sammi said.

"I gladly will. I'm guessing they don't hate me after everything?" asked Nikki.

Sammi shook her head. "Sabrina's been a way better 'older' sister with the advice than Athena ever could. Emma being there to show the silver linings to everything when I vent. They do like you. They've always liked you, Nik,"

"That's nice to hear. Don't tell them this, but I would look forward to seeing them when we'd all hang out. I missed it. They are nice girls," chuckled Nikki. Sammi only smiled and engulfed Nikki in a tight, comforting hug, arms around his neck. Nikki cradled Sammi's head, taking in the moment of warmth the two had. "I'm going to miss you," muttered Nikki.

"Please stay safe out there,"

"I promise," said Nikki, finally letting go of Sammi. Sammi balanced on the tips of her toes, kissing one last time until her birthday. Nikki didn't think to make the kiss more than it was, remaining romantic. As the two parted, Nikki opened the car and smiled sadly as Sammi sat in. "Get home safe,"

"I will," said Sammi, flashing a smile before driving out of the grand driveway and into the neighborhood. Nikki kept his eyes on the impala as it moved away, sighing out when he was left alone. He was bored already but knew he couldn't go to old habits just because Sammi wasn't around.

*

Even though it was well into the morning, almost afternoon, Sammi slowly opened the apartment door to not bring attention to her. It didn't matter how hard Sammi tried to be sneaky; Emma was already in the living room watching tv. "Shit," mumbled Sammi.

Emma turned her head like an alerted fox, relieved to see Sammi after an almost full 24 hours finally. "Sabrina! Sammi's home!" yelled out Emma, jumping onto her feet. Sammi sighed out, closing and locking the door behind her before Emma pulled her further into the apartment. "Where have you been? Your mother and I have been worried sick," joked Emma, sitting Sammi next to her on the sofa. Sabrina casually walked into the living room, keeping a calm demeanor in comparison to Emma. She smirked when seeing Sammi's makeup smudged and hair unkempt, wanting to poke fun at her as Sabrina sat down next to Sammi.

"I'm guessing the talk with Nikki went great?" asked Sabrina.

"Really great by the looks of it. Nikki couldn't have lent you a hairbrush for this rat's nest?" asked Emma, trying to tame Sammi's hair by using her fingers as a comb. Sammi rolled her eyes, pushing away Emma's hand. "Was it nice 'reuniting' with Nik?" Emma smiled mischievously.

"Shut up, we didn't do anything," said Sammi, chuckling.

"That has to be the biggest lie ever, Sammi. You leave to speak with your ex that you're still madly obsessed with only to come back the next day," said Emma, Sabrina giggling along.

"My impala was stubborn, and the battery died! That's why I stayed over," defended Sammi.

"In the same bed with Nikki?" asked Sabrina, raising an eyebrow.

"Nikki's other cars weren't enough for you to drive back home?" asked Emma.

"Or he couldn't bring you back on his motorcycle?" added Sabrina.

"Nikki lives far away from you guys, and it was late. I didn't want to drive anymore. And yes, we were in the same bed, but we seriously didn't do anything. Last night was too much for the chance of having makeup sex," muttered Sammi, dropping her head back onto the sofa.

"Well, what happened then? Was it a screaming match, a puddle of tears, or what? What happened?" asked Emma, like an antsy child.

"To cut it short, I heard how hurt Nikki was after I left. I knew I shouldn't have done it, but now I really regret it. He apologized for his mess as well then we went out to eat to talk it out more. He talked about wanting to work things out when he comes back,"

"How was that too much for the chance at sex?" asked Sabrina, scrunching her brows together.

"Oh, there's more!" Said Sammi. "Veronica was waiting for us at Nikki's, only for her to tell me that Nikki was her fiance," Emma and Sabrina's eyes shot wide, jaws almost dropping to the floor. "Before you guys freak out, it's not a real engagement. Nikki kicked her out. Veronica asked when they were both high, and Nikki's dumbass said yes. Which made me mad since he did the same thing to me, but it was still very different," Sammi rambled in one breath to fix the damage. She didn't want the high of a good thing to go away.

"How did Nikki tell you it was different if he did the same thing in Vegas?" asked Emma.

Before Sammi answered, a small smile crept upon her face, looking away as she almost blushed. "Because he said he could see us married when he asked," muttered Sammi, glancing to see Emma and Sabrina's reactions. Emma covered her mouth in shock while Sabrina smiled bubbly. "But I'm not going to think much on that,"

"As long as you and Nikki are on good terms, then that's great for you two. I'm sure Veronica will get the hint eventually that Nikki doesn't want anything to do with her," said Sabrina.

"And if she doesn't, there's always restraining orders on ex bitches!" joked Emma with a smile. "You just need to be happy and not worry about anything anymore,"

"I'm happy you talked to Nikki, Sam," said Sabrina.

"Oh, and so is Nikki," smiled Sammi. "Don't tell him I said this, but Nikki missed the four of us hanging out,"

"Awe! Nikki does have a heart!" said Emma, making the other girls laugh altogether.

*

August 30th, 1987

San Francisco, California

With a sleepy yawn and tired eyes, Sammi leaned back against her chair, hours of studying started to take a toll on her. The sun had already gone down in the San Francisco Bay area, the nightlife beginning to emerge throughout the city. College wasn't holding back on its difficulty; tests and projects planned already in full swing. It was only one more year of this for the young student, where Sammi could finally leave San Francisco to go back home and be a full-time adult, even though her life was unlike the average adult. Right when Sammi was about to dive back into the pile of books, the handheld phone beside her rang loud.

"Hello?" answered Sammi, hiding her tired voice with a polite one.

"Hi, Princess," said Nikki, sounding relaxed wherever he was across the country. Hearing Nikki's voice made Sammi's tired demeanor subdued, smiling as she rested against the table.

"Nikki!" exclaimed Sammi.

Nikki chuckled with slight glee from Sammi's voice. "It's good to hear your voice, Sammi. Sorry I haven't been calling recently. The days are starting to blur together," said Nikki, rubbing his developing dark eyes.

"It's okay. I get how pretty busy it can be. Where are you right now?"

"Somewhere in Virginia that has almost nothing. So I'm in my hotel room. We have the whole floor, which is pretty cool. What are you up to?" asked Nikki.

"Studying until my eyes bleed or I pass out. Whichever one will make me stop first," yawned Sammi. "How is everything on the road? Your Rolling Stone issue makes everything sound so crazy," said Sammi, smirking to herself.

"Oh, you got the magazine? I'm honored," teased Nikki.

Sammi rolled her eyes. "Of course I would get it. It's not everyday someone can say their brother and…" Sammi hesitated for a moment. Nikki bit his lip in a nervous habit to see how Sammi would finish that statement. "Boyfriend is on the cover of Rolling Stone. My parents are thinking about framing it,"

"That's sweet. Thank you for getting it," uttered Nikki, smiling to himself in the privacy of his hotel room. He cleared his throat, taking a swing of the beer by his side. "The craziness is kind of on pause. Right now, I'm currently bored out of my mind in my room alone because no one wants to hang out with me," grumbled Nikki. Sammi couldn't help but burst into a laughing fit, hiding her face in the palm of her hand. Nikki sulked in his bed, wishing he could pinch Sammi to get her to stop. "Why are you laughing at me?"

"Because you just sounded so cute, Nikki," giggled Sammi again, finally calming herself down. "Why doesn't anyone want to hang out with you, sweetheart?"

"Everyone has a chick! Tommy has Heather visiting. Vince has Hailey, Hedi, whatever her name is visiting too. Mick keeps sneaking off with stupid Emi. Then the tour crew is hiding with someone in their rooms," complained Nikki.

"I'm sorry, but would it kill you to be nice to Mick? He really likes that girl," frowned Sammi.

"She's a backup singer that we hired! You're not supposed to date or hook up with people you hired for your tour. Tommy and Vince agree with me on this one!" said Nikki, in a firm voice.

"But you and Vince have hooked up with someone that was a tour employee,"

Nikki curled his lip. "Please point out when Vince or I hooked up with someone on tour, Ms. Sammi. I would love to know!"

"You do remember I was Doc's assistant, right?" smirked Sammi.

Nikki rolled his eyes. "Hey, that doesn't count! Vince and I were trying before Tommy even got you that job! If we met on that tour, I wouldn't have tried anything. Until we were back home and you got a new job," objected Nikki, earning a laugh from Sammi.

"We had sex when I was already hired for the tour, Mr. Sixx. And Doc didn't hire me again after getting with my ex," Sammi said as a rebuttal.

"Don't try to argue this one. It doesn't count! I hit it when you were still just Tommy's little sister. Who is now getting on my nerves," grumbled Nikki.

Sammi snickered. "Okay, okay, I'll stop. Still Nikki, can you please lay off Mick and let him enjoy a relationship? For me?" asked Sammi.

"Fine. I'll lay off, but when I see you, I'm proving you wrong. I don't like her for Mick," mumbled Nikki.

"Speaking of seeing each other, I'm sorry you're left alone tonight. I can fly in next weekend if you need me to. We don't have to wait until October. I have no problem-" offered Sammi.

"No. No. No. You need to focus on school to graduate and get the hell out of stupid San Francisco. One of us has bigger things to worry about than if I'm lonely," said Nikki.

"That doesn't make me feel less bad, especially when the guys who have their wives or girlfriends visiting," pouted Sammi.

"Well, they don't have an intelligent girl by their side. No offense to your sister-in-law" smirked Nikki. "October will get here in no time,"

Sammi scuffed with flattery, smiling. "Thank you. I do really miss you, though,"

"I miss you too, Princess but stop worrying about me. I'm a big boy," said Nikki.

"You know you could pull a prank on everyone if they're all on one floor together," suggested Sammi. Like a lightswitch, Nikki's relaxed feeling turned intrigued, wanting to listen even more to what his intelligent Sammi had to say. "I'm not great with pranks. That was Tommy's department, but I'm sure you could think of something on the fly. You're clever," continued Sammi.

Nikki nodded to himself, narrowing his eyes at the wall as his brain began to plan. "Damn, do I love your ideas," muttered Nikki.

"Of course you do," proudly said Sammi.

"Listen, I have to go, Princess, if I wanna pull a prank. I'll call you at the next city, I promise," said Nikki, readying to jump out of bed. "Love you. Sweet dreams," Nikki added before hanging up.

Sammi only stayed quiet in her seat, slowly hanging up her phone and placing it down. With a few blinks, a smile crept on Sammi's lips. "Love you too," uttered Sammi to herself. She shook her head to get out of the little daze and back to the sea of books.

September 28th, 1987

The phone ring was the first thing Sammi heard as she unlocked the door to her apartment, rushing in to answer. On its last round, Sammi caught the phone in time to see who it was.

"Hello?" said Sammi, dropping a stack of mail and backpack on the kitchen bar, leaning against it.

"Hey Sam," said Athena. "How've you been?"

"Uh, hey Athena, I'm doing good. I just got out of class," said Sammi with a surprise in her voice. "What's up?"

"Well, I was wondering if you've watched MTV today or talked to Nikki recently since he's been on the road?" asked Athena, Sammi catching the tone as if something was wrong.

"Nope, I haven't watched tv all day or spoken to Nikki for months," said Sammi, only telling half a lie. She still couldn't tell Athena every little detail about her and Nikki. That would just cause more judgment from her again.

"In that case, I should probably let you know that Nikki's engaged. To Veronica," sadly said Athena.

Sammi almost chuckled from this, knowing it wasn't the truth. "What? What do you mean Nikki's engaged?" asked Sammi, playing along to the not so shocking news.

"It's got announced in the morning, and it's all over MTV and magazines. I wanted to make sure you found out from me before anyone else," said Athena. Sammi scrunched up her brows deeply, glancing down at her pile of mail. Scattering the pile, Sammi pulled out the only magazine from the bunch, seeing how Athena was right. In big, bold yellow letters read out,  'Motley Crue Bassist Nikki Sixx engaged to Dancer Veronica Andrews .' Sammi only stared at the words and photo for an extended period until Athena pulled back into reality. "Sammi? You okay?"

"Um yeah. Yeah, I'm good. I just didn't think he would ever propose to anyone," uttered Sammi with a deep frown, flaring nostrils out. Sammi crumpled the magazine in her hands, ripping the cover almost completely. "Is there anything else you know, Athena?"

"I haven't been able to reach Tommy, so no. Are you sure you're okay?" asked Athena one more time.

"Yeah. Perfectly fine. I'll call you later, Athena. I'm pretty tired from my walk. Bye. Love you," said Sammi, hanging up on her sister. With a fast thumb, Sammi punched in the numbers to the only number to reach the guys. It only took a short ring to get on the line. "Hey Doc, it's Sammi,"

"Oh, hi, Sammi. I haven't heard from you in a while. What's going on?" asked Doc.

"Nothing really. I wanted to see if you could get Mick for me. I need to ask him about something, and I didn't know how to reach him exclusively," said Sammi, sitting on the wooden dining chair.

"Of course. Hold on a minute while I get him," said Doc, a turning silence from his end of the line. Sammi anxiously tapped her fingers on the dining table, her frown getting deeper.

"Sammi? Are you okay? What's wrong?" asked Mick, almost in an anxious tone himself.

"I'm fine, Mick. I just needed to talk to you about something. Is Nikki around you?" asked Sammi.

"No, I don't know where Nikki went. I haven't seen him or Tommy. What did you need to talk about?" asked Mick.

"Please be honest with me, Mick. Has Nikki been speaking to Veronica?" asked Sammi, swallowing a hard lump in her throat.

Mick let out a sigh, mumbling a curse word under his breath. "It's not what you're thinking, Sammi. I can promise you that,"

"Then what is it?! Because right now, I just had to have Athena tell me about Nikki's apparent engagement being all over the news when he told me it wasn't anything,"

"And he's right. They aren't engaged. But after her little visit in July, Nikki stopped giving her any attention. I guess it pissed her off enough to run to the press,"

"She was with Nikki?" asked Sammi.

"Nikki didn't know she was coming. Veronica was able to get into his room at a hotel we were staying at in Arizona. He was pissed, but she stayed there," Sammi closed her eyes tight, inhaling deeply. "They didn't hook up,"

"How do you know that?" Sammi's voice almost cracked.

"I roomed right next to Nikki that night, and I had my connecting door open the entire time. There wasn't any moaning, but I did get to hear them talking about heroin again. Something about freebasing?"

"You've got to be kidding me? Nikki's been getting high again?"

"I wanna say yes. Nikki will hide in his room if we're in hotels sometimes and won't come at all. And now he knows not to use needles anymore, I guess. I'm sorry to tell you this, Little girl,"

Sammi shook her head and rubbed her temple as she listened. "It's okay, Mick. I knew you'd tell me the truth. Thank you," muttered Sammi. "You can't tell Nikki we had this conversation,"

"Of course I won't. I will say, though, if he does hurt you again, I will smack him," said Mick.

Sammi chuckled dryly. "I appreciate that. Stay safe out there and don't go too crazy,"

"I won't. Later, little girl," said Mick. Sammi hung up the phone, dropping her head down on the table. Nothing was ever a comfortable boat ride with the Crue.

*

"Hi, it's Sammi. Please leave a message, and I'll get back to you," ��Sammi stared at her answering machine as she laid on the loveseat, a bottle of half-empty wine in one hand.  "Hey-o sunshine, it's Nikki. I wanna talk. I'm sure you've seen MTV or something. Please, Sammi. I miss you. Call me back". The wine was Sammi's only response.

October 7th, 1987

Oakland, California

Sammi rested heavily against the red leather seats, watching passing city lights. The closer she reached the stadium, the more her anxious nerves ran through her body. Wiping away clammy hands on Sammi's black jeans, messing with the ends of Sammi's hair, nothing could calm the young woman down. It was considerate for the band to send a limo service for Sammi, but it didn't help with the anxiety. Sammi managed to keep a distance from Nikki without getting any form of questions from him. To Sammi, this was her form of validation. Validation of Nikki starting the disgusting habit that Sammi feared. As the limo slowed down, passing the colosseum, fans waited out in lines while paparazzi stood on the sideline. Sammi only let out a long sigh, waiting for the car to finally make a stop. It was a small surprise to Sammi when Doc would be the first familiar face, opening the passenger door for her.

"Hello Sammi, it's good to see you finally," said Doc with a smile.

"The feeling's mutual," said Sammi, stepping out of the limo, fixing any imperfections from her tied Motley tank she cut up. "How have you been? I'm hoping to hear something positive," Sammi asked Doc, the two walking through a dark alley to reach the infamous backstage.

Sammi heard a similar sigh come out of Doc, watching him dragging a hang down his face. "Personally, I'm alright. Professionally, I'm stressed beyond belief. It's unlike anything before from what's gotten into these boys,"

"Is it really that bad?" asked Sammi, halting under a dim streetlamp.

"I don't want you to get worried about them,"

"Doc, that's a little late for that. I'm always going to be worried about those four. Now, what's going on?" Sammi asked again, scrunching her brows together.

"To make a long explanation short, they're just wearing out. To the point I'm considering canceling Europe," said Doc, pressing his lips tightly together.

Sammi only shut her eyes, dropping her head back to groan out in annoyance. "So what am I walking into then? The last person I spoke to was Mick about Nikki," asked Sammi with a frown

"Vince's hand is in stitches. Nikki and Tommy are on benders. Mick doesn't care anymore. And there's a new band touring with us who think it's so cool, trying to match Motley. I'm sorry to tell you this, Sammi," said Doc, folding his arms against his chest.

"Whatever. Let's just get in there before I run back into the limo," mumbled Sammi, dragging her feet over to the backstage door. Doc gently rested his hand on Sammi's shoulder, showing a sign of reassurance. From the first steps of entering backstage, Sammi was hit with the familiar smell of cigarette smoke and almost sweat. The long curved hallways soon became louder when reaching the dressing room doors for both Motley Crue and the opening act. Sammi tossed her hair the other side, not wanting to hide away within it.

"Oh, look who it is!" exclaimed Tommy, arms wide open as he stood at the end of the hallway. Sammi matched the wide bright smile her brother had, running over to Tommy for a big hug. Tommy appeared sober to Sammi's eyes, a moment of letting her guard come down. He lifted Sammi in the air, twirling around in circles in complete happiness. "Happy birthday," said Tommy, setting Sammi back on her feet.

"And happy belated birthday to you," smiled Sammi. Before Sammi could say anything else, three men came behind Tommy, one with curly hair almost jumping on Tommy's back. Sammi stepped back from the bunch, turning her attention to see Doc had disappeared already. "Whoa," was all Sammi could say. The three men all perked their heads to Sammi, almost curious to see a new girl in front of them. The dark curly-haired man peeling himself off Tommy, straightening his shoulders. They were all different from the other in appearance, not mistaking one for the other.

"You guys know when the perfect timing is. I want to introduce to you three, my baby sister. Sammi, meet three of the Guns N' Roses guys!" explained Tommy.

"Hi," shyly said Sammi, waving shortly.

A redheaded man stepped in front of Tommy, smirking at Sammi. Sammi scrunched her brows in confusion to the redhead. "Hey, pretty thing, I'm Axl," said Axl. "I've heard about you, but I never thought you'd be this gorgeous," Sammi couldn't help but chuckle at Axl, smacking her hand over her mouth to stop. Axl looked shocked at Sammi, mouth ajar as Tommy and the other two chuckled. "Was it really that cheesy?"

"Axl dude, this is Sammi. As in also Sixx's girl," said the curly-haired man, smacking Axl playfully on the shoulder. "Hey, I'm Slash. It's cool to meet you finally," said Slash, extending out a hand.

Sammi wasn't shy anymore of accepting it, smiling at Slash. "I'm guessing Nikki talks about me?"

"Every time I ask why he keeps turning girls down, Blondie and I get a whole rant about you," said Slash, pulling the tallest man from the bunch, a shaggier blonde.

"Your brother also doesn't shut up about you and your other sister, but I got used to it," said the blonde, with a shy smile. "I'm Duff. It's your birthday, right?"

"Nice to meet you, Duff, and yeah, my birthday's tomorrow,"

"Happy birthday then!" said Duff in a gentle voice.

"Happy birthday," said Axl and Slash in unison.

"Thank you! And it's nice to meet you three finally. I've heard through the grapevine about you and your guys' band," said Sammi.

"I hope good things," said Duff jokingly, turning to Tommy.

"Well, I do know Slash might have partied too hard at Nikki's house," said Sammi, seeing Slash become a bit timid as Duff and Axl repressed their laughter.

"And unlike Nikki, I say great things about my friends, thank you very much!" said Tommy, putting his arm around Sammi. Tommy led Sammi to the nearest door, pushing it with all his force, opening up to a spacious dressing room that fit all of Motley. Axl, Slash, and Duff followed the Bass siblings' footsteps. "Guess who I just found!" yelled out Tommy in a singing voice. From the mirror vanity, Nikki jumped up from his seat almost like a prairie dog, instinctually knowing it was Sammi. Vince was unbothered to move from his spot on the long sofa, glancing over at Mick already on his feet.

"Sammi!" said Nikki, showing a bright smile that Sammi tried to replicate. He didn't seem to notice the thick facade, hugging his girlfriend lovingly with a kiss on the forehead. "Happy birthday," mumbled Nikki into Sammi's hair. Sammi melted into the hug, rubbing Nikki's back as insurance to him. "I was starting to get worried you were gonna flake out on us,"

"You know I wouldn't do that. Traffic was just hell on earth," lied Sammi, pulling away from Nikki. Sammi grazed Nikki's thin long sleeve shirt from the first impression, scrunching her brows at him. "You're not hot in this?" asked Sammi.

Nikki shook his head, cupping Sammi's cheek. "I'm fine," flashing a reassuring smile. Sammi only remained silent, stepping over to Mick. On a special occasion, the two gave each other a tight hug.

"Happy Birthday, Little Girl. We've missed you around here," said Mick, ruffling Sammi's hair with affection. Mick shoots a knowing look to Sammi, ready to have a conversation.

"I've missed you all too," sighed Sammi. She peeked over Mick's shoulder, spotting Vince sulk alone.

"Sixx, you were right about Sammi. She is pretty tiny," said Slash, snapping Sammi back to reality, shaking her head with his hand. The rest of the guys all chuckled with Slash, Sammi falling into the comfort of their shenanigans. "She makes Mick here look tall,"

"Okay, I get it," said Sammi, shoving Slash's hand away from her. "I'm short and small compared to all of you. Not all of us can be as tall as these three," Sammi gesturing to Duff, Nikki, and Tommy.

"Yo Vin, you're not gonna say hi to our guest," said Nikki over his shoulder, skillfully wrapping an arm around Sammi and pulling her into his side. Vince dragged his body off the sofa, shuffling his feet towards the small group. Sammi's eyes went straight to the cast on Vince's wrist, noting the discoloration around his fingers. Vince flashed a short smile to Sammi, folding his arms against his chest. Tommy would see the shit-eating smirk Axl had towards Vince, seeing how grumpy the singer was.

"Uh, the guys and I are gonna head over to our room. You four have fun with the girlie," snickered Axl, ushering Slash and Duff out with him.

"Hey, Sam,' said Vince.

"What the hell happened to your hand?" asked Sammi, her eyes only the cast.

"Ask your brother," accused Vince. Sammi wrinkled her brows to Tommy, seeing him roll his eyes.

"Dude, it wasn't Tommy's fault you had a temper tantrum," Nikki told off Vince, scowling at the singer.

"Again, what happened?" asked Sammi with assertiveness.

"Vince didn't like the fact that craft services put mayo instead of Miracle Whip for the condiments," said Mick, a monotone in his voice.

"So he threw it against the wall, and the glass bounced back, slicing open his hand," added Nikki, matching the monotone.

"And it's apparently my fault because I'm the one that put mayo on the tour rider," uttered Tommy, glaring at Vince. Vince curled his lip at Tommy, looking away from his band.

Sammi sighed out. "You guys do realize you have to put up with each other for two more months, right?"

"I don't care. I'm fucking done with these three after December," mumbled Vince, walking right past every, disappearing through the corridor. Nikki and Tommy both glared at each other, annoyed with the attitude of Vince. Before adding another word to the conversation, Tommy pulled Nikki by the shoulders, making him let go of Sammi. He whispered something in Nikki's ear, Sammi trying her hardest to listen but with no success.

"What are you two up to?" asked Sammi, raising an eyebrow at the Terror Twins.

"Nothing, babe," smiled Nikki. "T-Bone and I just need to get some things sorted out with GNR. We'll be right back," Nikki said, kissing Sammi on the cheek. Tommy flashed a quick smile to Sammi, the duo leaving the room as fast as they could. While this worried Sammi, it was the perfect chance for her and Mick to catch up. She closed the door for no one to listen, giving Mick a small repressed smile. The two sat down on the long black sofa, Sammi hugging a pillow to ease her nerves.

"Is there anything new you need to tell me?" asked Sammi, hesitancy in her voice.

Mick bit the inside of his cheek, remembering if anything has happened since they last spoke. "Besides Nikki hiding in that long sleeve, nothing. He hardly talks to me about anything unless it's busting my balls,"

"About Emerson?" asked Sammi, raising an eyebrow. Mick nodded. "I asked him to stop, Mick,"

"It isn't only Nikki. It's all three of them getting on my case about hooking up with Emi," groaned Mick. "They don't like her at all, but they don't even know her as I do,"

"Nikki said he doesn't think she's good for you, but if they still don't know her, then they're just assholes," comforted Sammi, gently squeezing Mick's shoulder. "I can try to talk to Tommy to knock it off,"

Mick scuffed with a small smile. "Thanks, Sammi. You can try, but I'm not going to hold my breath,"

"Doc told me how you guys are falling apart. Should I be worried?" asked Sammi. Mick didn't bother to respond, looking down at his feet and letting out a huff. Sammi sucked her front teeth, almost chuckling. "I'm going to take that as a yes," muttered Sammi under her breath, slouching further into the sofa.

Right as silence fell between the two, a loud shriek echoed in the hallway, Sammi and Mick shooting wide eyes at each other. Sammi sped over to the door, pulling it open to find the noise, Mick right behind her. It wasn't a crazy fan finding their way into the backstage area. Sammi laid her eyes on Veronica, hugging Nikki with a big smile and a giant floral bouquet of pink roses. Veronica showed everyone around the floors and her engagement ring, Tommy and Axl remaining silent. Tommy began biting on his nails, wanting to walk away. Sammi stood in the corridor, feeling her blood turn hot with anger to see the happy woman in front of her. Fortunately for Sammi, Veronica made no attention to her, almost giving the younger girl her back. Nikki didn't know what to do in his position, holding onto Veronica by the waist. When he glanced over his shoulder, Nikki frowned at Sammi, only for him to see the anger he caused Sammi. Sammi shook her head at Nikki, flipping him off without a care. She then stepped a few inches closer to the 'couple,' opening another dressing room to disappear in. Resting against the door, Sammi quickly realized who the dressing room belonged to.

"What was that screaming?" asked Duff, standing in the middle of the room, scrunching his brows together. Slash had the same expression, sipping his beer as he sat down on a smaller sofa.

"It was um," muttered Sammi, looking anywhere but Duff.

"You okay?" asked Slash. "Your cheeks are almost as red as your lipstick,"

"No, I'm not. The scream was Veronica… Nikki's fiance," said Sammi, walking over and dropping herself next to Slash. Slash and Duff exchanged confused looks at each other before responding to Sammi.

"I thought Nikki dumped that chick a while back ago? Who the hell let her back here?" asked Slash. Sammi shrugged her shoulders, sinking deeper into the sofa. Duff felt sorry for Sammi, passing her an open cold beer they had in an ice chest, earning him a smile. Duff sat down next to Sammi, sandwiching her between the boys.

"Clearly, that Veronica girl is crazy if she thinks she's going to marry Nikki. Especially if she's screaming for no reason," said Duff.

Sammi took a swing of the beer. "She screamed because Nikki got her flowers,"

"If the flowers were pink roses, they were meant for you. Nikki talked about you loving roses," said Slash, smiling sympathetically at Sammi.

"I figured that much. I don't care if Nikki got me flowers. The fact she's here ruins my mood. I had to hide in here so Veronica wouldn't see me,"

"You're going to hide away on your birthday in a smelly dressing room? Of a band you just met?" asked Slash, happy to earn a small smile from Sammi. "You're not staying in here, and besides, we have to get on stage in ten minutes,"

"We can sneak you past everyone. I'm tall enough to hide you completely just by standing behind you," suggested Duff, Slash nodding at the idea. Duff grabs Sammi's half-empty beer out of her hand, placing it on the floor. He hopped up on his feet, pulling Sammi up by her hands. "See, look in the mirror. I'll be behind you, and Slash can be in front," said Duff, grasping Sammi's shoulders as they faced one of the vanity mirrors. Sammi only playfully rolled her eyes to Duff.

Slash skipped over to the door, peeking his head out to check their surroundings. "Psycho bitch is gone. Actually, everyone is gone," said Slash. Duff guided Sammi in front of him, Slash staying near in front of her as they planned. The corridor was empty of Motley, only crew members walking up and down. The trio walked further until hitting closer to the stage.

"Hey guys!" said Duff to Axl and two other men Sammi hadn't met.

"We have a guest watching us from the sides," added Slash, stepping aside for the rest of Guns N' Roses to meet Sammi. "The quiet dude in black is Izzy, and that's Steven with the drumsticks," Slash told Sammi.

"Oh, wait! We know you!" exclaimed Steven, pointing his drumstick at Sammi with a goofy grin. "Your Tommy's little sister! Awesome to meet you!"

"It's nice to meet you all too. I thought I'd leave Motley for a bit to check out your band live," lied Sammi, Duff squeezing Sammi's shoulders before reaching out for his bass.

"Well, aren't you the sweetest," teased Axl, pinching Sammi's check as he inserted his earpiece for the night. Sammi perched herself upon a rolling storage crate with the perfect view of everyone on stage, legs dangling. She gave all five of the guys a thumbs up before they all ran out to begin their set. For a new up and coming band, the crowd of Oakland loved the feeling GNR showed from performing. Sammi herself found their music enjoyable, tapping her hands on the crate to the beat of Steven's drums. After twenty minutes of the Guns' set, Sammi felt a hand grip onto her forearm, tugging her in their direction. Sammi jumped off the crate with a scowl, pulling away to see Nikki was the culprit. Nikki bit his lip, lowering himself closer to Sammi's ear.

"Can we talk please," whispered Nikki. Sammi kept her scowl, walking past Nikki into the corridor, away from the loud music. Sammi folded her arms against her chest, back flat against the brick wall with a glare. Nikki shoved his hand in his jean pockets, head hanging low before speaking. "I'm sorry about Veronica. I swear I didn't know she was going to come. I don't even know who let her in here. You have to believe, Sammi," said Nikki, cupping Sammi's cheeks. By instinct, Sammi pushed Nikki away from her with all her focus, Nikki stumbling on his feet.

"Do not try to kiss me right now. Not when I look like the other woman in front of everyone," frowned Sammi.

"But you're not! She's a psycho that keeps telling people we're together!" explained Nikki with a sad frown. "I wanted to settle this last week after she ran her mouth to the press. Veronica only did it because I cut her off,"

"No, you didn't," uttered Sammi. "I know she visited you in Arizona. Mick told me everything. If you told her things were over, she wouldn't be taking  my  flowers as hers,"

"Mick doesn't know shit. We do anything. I kicked her out that night,"

"And if I go to the dressing room right now, you kicked her out already?" asked Sammi, inching closer to Nikki's face with a scowl. Nikki only looked away from Sammi, trying to calm his breathing.

"She's leaving as soon as I can get her to leave," whispered Nikki.

"All you have to do is kick her to the curb. You're just making this harder for yourself," said Sammi, walking away from Nikki. She let out a deep exhale, finding her seat back on the storage crate. Nikki wanted to punch the wall in front of him but knew out of everyone. He needed his hands.

Sammi stayed hidden in the small corner of the side stage, not even moving after Guns finished their set. With sweat all on his face, Duff walked closer to Sammi. "You okay?" asked Duff, wiping his face with a hand towel. Sammi nodded, remaining silent. "If you want now, you can chill in our space while Motley plays. Stay clear of the psycho,"

Sammi gave Duff a half-hearted smile. "Thanks, but Nikki said he's kicking her out already. I'll stay here to watch him,"

Duff shrugged his shoulder. "Whatever floats your boat, girly. Don't be a stranger,"

"I won't," muttered Sammi, watching the guys retreat into their dressing room. Sammi hung her head low, playing with her boots' laces as she waited for the boys.

*

Right as Motley was done with their set, Sammi cautioned her way down the corridor, watching out for Veronica to pop out of nowhere again. The afterparty had begun, everyone walking in and out of different places to get their fix of booze or coke. When Sammi peeked her head into the boys' spacious dressing room, it was like a punch in the gut to see Veronica still in the building. She continued showing off every groupie her engagement ring, boosting her ego to see girls jealous. Tommy was already passed out on the sofa throughout the party, very much unlike him after a show. This made Sammi worried for a moment before realizing Tommy was a grown-up. This is what he chose to do tonight. Mick was nowhere to be seen for Sammi, most likely with his girlfriend. In the corner, Vince stayed making out with a girl that wasn't his girlfriend back home, Sammi only rolling her eyes. She walked further down the corridor, halting when hearing Nikki speak to someone. Sammi looked into another hallway, catching Nikki exchange money for a crinkled paper bag. Nikki's back faced Sammi, giving her the chance to go unnoticed. In Sammi's gut, she knew it was more heroin Nikki bought. Sammi only sped away to the nearest exited door, in desperate need of fresh air.

To Sammi's surprise, Duff was outside as well, sitting down while blowing smoke into the air. "Hey, didn't think you'd be out here," said Sammi, sitting beside Duff. "Parties aren't your thing?"

Duff blew out more smoke into the air before answering. "No, I like them. It's just your dudes are pretty scary to party with," chuckled Duff. "I've already gotten tired of doing it after every show,"

"Yeah, I get what you mean. I was exhausted of it when I toured with them one time,"

"Doesn't also help. I'm not really a drug kind of guy," added Duff.

Sammi tilted her head and raised an eyebrow. "Really? You don't do coke with your band?"

"Once in a blue moon, I'll snort a line, but I'm more of a drinker. Slash is the one who won't say no to whatever is offered to him,"

Sammi scuffed. "He does a party with Nikki back in L.A. It would be surprising if it were his idea to be Motley's opening act," Duff nodded along, continuing to smoke his cigarette. Duff was almost entirely sober compared to every other man around Sammi, making her feel comfortable in wanting to question him. Maybe Duff could be what Sammi needed. "If I asked you something, would you be honest?"

Duff scrunched his eyebrows at Sammi, flicking his cigarette bud away from them. "Ask me what exactly?"

Sammi inhaled deeply, preparing for whatever could happen. "What do you know about Nikki and him doing more than just coke?"

Duff sighed out, dropping his head against the cold concrete wall behind them, staring out above him. "Listen, Sammi, I'm going to tell you everything I know because I think you're a lovely girl, so just be prepared," Sammi nodded, biting her nails. "From what Slash has told me, Nikki's been on heroin since August. He'll shoot up with Slash or smoke it or however they do it,"

Sammi let out a dry chuckle, shaking her head as she looked away from Duff. "And where is everyone else when they get high?" asked Sammi.

"You mean where's Motley?" Sammi nodded, tears starting to well up in her eyes. "Tommy's with them… trying it,"

"Fuck!" yelled out Sammi. "Tommy's shooting up?" pleaded Sammi.

"Not exactly, but Slash has told me Tommy's tried heroin as well. That's all I know from what Slash talks about when he goes and hangs out with Nikki alone. I'm sorry," said Duff. Sammi stared out into nothing, her mind running 100 mph. All of a sudden, she stood up and began stepping away from Duff. "Hey! Where are you going?" called out Duff, standing on his feet.

Sammi turned on her heels. "Tell anyone still conscious that I'm out of here," shouted Sammi, continuing to roam into the city.

*

After a short while of walking, Sammi could hear the footsteps of someone running behind her. She told herself to keep looking forward.

"Sammi!" called out Nikki. Sammi kept her eyes forward. "Sammi! Sammi, hold up!" Nikki called out again, finally getting close enough to grab Sammi's wrist. "Hey, where are you going? Slash told me you bounced,"

Sammi pulled away from Nikki, never looking him straight in the eye. "Home. I'm going home, Nikki," uttered Sammi, eyes on the sidewalk.

Nikki scrunched his brows and curled his lip. "What? Why?"

Sammi shook her head, finally looking at Nikki dead in the face. "Guess, Nikki. Guess as to why you think I want to get the hell out of here?"

"Listen, Veronica is already gone. Let's just get back and celebrate your birthday,"

"No!" shouted Sammi.

"Why not?"

"How do I know Veronica actually left? Huh? Your fucking fiance was showing off her ring to groupies,"

"She's not my fiance! I already told you!"

"No, you didn't! You lied! Like you always do! She's here and telling everyone you're engaged!"

"What? No, I didn't, come on. Let's just go back to the venue and keep arguing if you want. You can see she's fucking gone," said Nikki, grabbing Sammi again and pulling her towards him.

Sammi pushed Nikki away from her, scowling at him. "Oh fuck off, I'm done going anywhere with you. Just leave me alone!" said Sammi walking away.

"Sammi, what's bothering you? I know it's not just the shit with Veronica anymore," followed Nikki.

"Figure it out," mumbled Sammi.

Nikki rolled his eyes. "Sammi! Just blurt it out!"

"I know you're using it again!" shouted Sammi, halting to glare at Nikki. Nikki stopping in his tracks. I know you got your hands on heroin!"

"Sammi…"

"Admit it. After you told me you were off and finally wanted to stay off that shit!"

"It just happened," uttered Nikki, almost unable to look at Sammi.

"You've been saying that for a long time, Nikki. You getting high never just happens!"

"I'm trying not to make it bad again. You have to believe me,"

Sammi shook her head. "Why should I? You're just spewing anything you want me to hear,"

"No, I am not! I'm serious!"

"No, you're not. It never just happens. It's never been something that just happens! I just saw you fucking buy heroin almost right in front of me!"

"It was something else," lied Nikki.

"Really? I know what heroin looks like. I've had to flush down the toilet before, remember?" spat Sammi. "You know, I had to have a stranger tell me the truth! Out of everyone here,"

"Who? Who told you?"

"Duff. Duff told me how you like to help Tommy and Slash try some. My own brother,"

"Can you please cut me some slack? I've promised everyone that I will go to rehab and work it out as soon as this tour is over. I'm only having one last hit with junk,"

"You really think I'm going to believe that?

"Yes!"

"Why?"

"Because you care about me. Why should you not believe me?"

"Well, let's see? You lie. All the goddamn time, you've been lying! Time after time, for the past four years since knowing you, you've lied to me. You've never given a shit about anyone but yourself. You only care about drugs, and I'm the idiot for putting up with it!"

"That's not true. You know I care about you. You're the only person I still give a shit about,"

"No, I don't, Nikki. You don't care about me anymore. You haven't a single shit about for two years or however long we've been doing this. This is why I wanted to stay away! From this!"

"You still feel that way? You still want to be far away from me?" asked Nikki, a sting in his heart.

"Yes. Yes, I do. And I should've kept it that way. I should've never gone to talk to you. Only to have you put fake hope in my head that we can be together,"

"You can't be mad at me for the drugs. Look at everyone around us. We all do it! You've even done it!" shouted Nikki.

"Because of you!"

"It wasn't because of me," Nikki shook his head.

"Yeah. Yeah, it freaking was. You've given EVERYONE drugs! And take some into that dark corner you love to hide,"

Nikki couldn't look at Sammi. He knew she was right in her arguments. "Sammi, let's just go back inside and talk,"

"No. And another thing, Tommy and Vince never even knew where to find hard drugs before you. They didn't need you mumbling in their ears. They were great before without you. Everyone was great without you!"

"Please don't say that," whispered Nikki, tightening his fists by his side.

"Why? Because you know it's true?" asked Sammi with sarcasm.

"Sammi, please," Nikki begged.

Sammi stared at Nikki with a coldness like never before. "Let me add another person to the list. You are a selfish person who can't even see that your friend is in bad shape health-wise. Do you even know how bad you treat Mick? I bet he'd be living a nice comfortable life if he never met you either. But instead, he just became a punching bag for your sad, pathetic life,"

"You don't mean it. Please tell me you don't mean it,"

Sammi cocked a smile that was never pleasant. "I do. Everyone would be so much better off if none of us met Nikki Sixx. I wish Tommy never met you. I wish I never got introduced to you. Because then I wouldn't have to keep the fantasy that you and I can ever be together. So how about you do one last favor and leave me the fuck alone? I'm done with your shit, and I don't care how many times I have to repeat it to believe it," fumed Sammi with venom, ready to keep walking away.

Nikki closed his eyes, feeling every word like a punch in the face. "Sam," muttered Nikki.

"If you want to go kill yourself off heroin, be my guest. I don't give a shit if you do. You're bound to do it anyway," Sammi added, finally walking away from Nikki. As she stepped further away from Nikki, Nikki wanted to run after her but only stayed frozen.

"Sammi!" Nikki yelled out. Sammi ignored him. "Please! Sammi!" Nikki yelled out again.

"What?!" answered Sammi, scowling at Nikki as she turned to him.

Nikki stepped closer to Sammi, still managing to keep a distance. "I… I love you," uttered Nikki, feeling his head spinning.

Sammi pressed her lips tightly, feeling tears almost spilling. "Don't. Do not do that,"

"Please, Sammi. I love you. I'm begging-"

"No!" yelled out Sammi, tears streaming down her face. "Forget it! Forget me! Forget us! Forget we were ever together. You and I never happened!"

"Princess. I'm begging you, please don't cut me out like this. Not again," said Nikki, almost able to touch Sammi.

Sammi remained silent, staring Nikki down. If there was one way to get to leave her alone, she knew how. "Go. Away. Frankie," said Sammi.

That was it. That was the final punch in the face for Nikki. Nikki froze from the sound of that name, never thinking to hear it from the one person he cared about. Sammi didn't need to say anything else, finally walking away from Nikki for good. Nikki could only watch Sammi disappear into the Oakland streets, feeling the wind send chills down his spine. A shaky breath was let out by Nikki, a tear rolling down his face. Nikki rubbed his eyes viciously, dragging his hands down his face. The only thing Nikki was able to do was to turn around and walk back alone to the venue. The other thing Nikki was able to do was to hide from everyone around him. Not caring when hearing people decided to speak to him.

[demivampirew]

I’ve been quite obsessed with the war of the roses and the Tudor dynasty and also with the show (The Tudors). I’ve watched many documentaries and historians talk about that period of English history and I wanted to share my opinions on what are, in my opinion, the biggest mistakes the show made (changes that they made compared to history) and also explaining why I do understand why they probably made those choices.

Let’s start in this post with the number one mistake the series made:

 merging both Henry’s sisters into one. 

Henry had two sisters: Margaret and Mary. Margaret married King James IV of Scotland when she was 14 years old (he was sixteen years older than her). She became Queen consort of Scotland and later after his husband death’s fighting the English, she became Queen Regent for two years in name of her 17 months old son, James V (her constant shifting of alliances between the French supporters and the English supporters of the country made her lose power and the custody of her son). Her marriage to James IV was key in history for their son James V was the father of Mary Stuart, known as Mary, Queen of Scots and the mother of James VI, the successor of Queen Elizabeth I and first monarch to rule both England and Scotland at the same time.

Mary, on the other hand, married King Louis VII of France when she was 18 - she is the youngest of the Tudor siblings; and said king was 52 years old. Contrary to the show’s plot, Mary was keen on the idea of becoming Queen of France - actually, even if her time as Queen consort was short, she made everyone call her Queen of France for the rest of her days, instead of Dutchess of Suffolk. With that being said, she knew that the king would die eventually -he had gout and was ill, so she agreed to marry him as her brother desired without making a fuzz but made him promise that after that she’d able to marry whom she chose or she would become a nun - Henry agreed to that, on one hand, probably because of her good disposal to follow his desires without defying him - he was quite a monster to the people who dare to defy him (Catherine, his daughter Mary being huge examples), but he rewarded the people who followed his commands without complaining. On the other hand, even if offering her as a wife would have been beneficial for him, he couldn’t risk losing her Queen dowager’s money, thing that he’d do if she became a nun. Shortly after her marriage and a month after her coronation, King Louis XII died and Francis I became the new King of France - he was the late King’s son in law, who married said King’s daughter on his command so Francis could rule -because he only had a living daughter, Claude, and by the laws of the time, women could not rule France. - Fun fact: during Mary’s coronation, Francis was the one holding her crown during the entire ceremony for it was too heavy for her.

Charles Brandon was sent by King Henry VIII to France to return her sister home. This is an important thing to keep in mind. It was said that many people at court knew about the love Charles and Mary had about each other, including Henry himself. So, this would mean that he didn’t oppose their marriage as it’s believed and the series show. Yet, that didn’t mean that this marriage wasn’t a dangerous one, for many people important at court did not like Charles - the Duke of Norfolk being one of those, and they had money and big armies and could confront him if they wanted to for marrying the princess when he was made a Duke and no being born with noble blood - there are no records as far I as know from my research on what moment Charles was named Duke of Suffolk, so my guess is that it could have happened shortly after his father’s death - he was in charge of taking care of the King Henry VII’s horses and since he was a horse-man, the king became close friends to him and then he died defending his king and friend in battle. For this reason, the King raised Charles alongside his son and made him receive an excellent education. The young boy probably received the title of Duke as a reward for his father’s sacrifice.

Going back to the marriage deal, it was dangerous for Charles, but he married her anyway - he even lied to King Francis I when he confronted him to know if he was there to marry his mother-in-law, Mary and he denied it even though Mary had already confessed him the truth and angered said King by marrying without his consent when he promised that if they waited he would intervene to help them. Charles would later write a letter to Cardinal Wolsey to plead for his help to allow them to have a court wedding as well because they believed Mary was pregnant and they didn’t want anyone to question the child’s legitimacy.

Why this marriage was a big deal? Well, on one hand, it shows that it wasn’t an impulsive decision like in the show, but they had feelings for each other for a long time and that he really loved her if he was willing to risk his head to marry her. Also, Charles having many mistresses was a show plot, because it is said that they have a happy marriage until her death 13 years later. On the other hand, the importance of their marriage is on one of their daughters, Frances, because she was the mother of Lady Jane Grey, who would become Queen of England after the death of King Edward VI (King Henry VIII’s son with Jane Seymour) -for this name his cousin Jane the legitimate heir to the throne when he learned that he was dying of his illness and as a strong protestant, he wanted to avoid his sister Mary becoming Queen and making England being under the Pope’s authority once more and since he knew that Elizabeth wouldn’t agree to skip Mary of the succession, he felt that he had no other choice than to skip both of his sisters and name his protestant cousin and her heirs the next rulers of the country. Unfortunately, this Queen would have an extremely short reign, for after not even two weeks on the throne, she was executed so Mary could become Queen. - so yeah, Charles Brandon and Mary Tudor, Queen of France were the grandparents of a future Queen of the English throne, even if it was for a short period of time.

Now, let’s get to the part of why I understand these changes - even if I think they were a huge mistake.

Mainly, I think those changes were made due to budget and looking forward to the series to being picked up.

Usually series would film a pilot and those pilots would have screen tests and if they are successful, they got to film complete seasons. I think they thought that the competition between two young Kings was an exciting plot for the series so they started the show with that. The problem with that is that they left out the Mary marriage to King Louis XII aside because it could have made the plot complicated. Also, I think that would have to include the explanation of was Francis ended up on the throne and it’s a complicated one and it would have taken the show more screen time.

As for the Margaret marriage to King James IV was taken away from the series because of the same reasons, it’d have taken much screen time to explain the whole thing. So merging the two sisters into one could be a wiser decision as far as budget and screen time and also make the plot less complicated. Also, the plot was centre mostly on Henry VIII’s marriages and religious battles rather than the political wars.

Probably, to avoid any confusion, I’d had been easier to avoid adding any sister into the show - which was probably the original idea, since it was said the Charles on the show was going to be a small character, but then they probably realised that Charles was an important person in Henry VIII’s story because he was his most loyal friend to the very end and his relationship with his friend’s sister was quite important for his storyline.

I understand as well why the change of the king she was supposed to marry - first, King Louis XVII was already dead, since Francis was on the throne. Secondly, since they chose Margaret instead of Mary to be the one to appear on the show - probably because she was the eldest one of the two sisters and the age gap wasn’t so big (Mary was 18 and Charles was 31 (ish) when they married. They clearly needed a much older king to make it more dramatic. since if they made it 50 and she around 25, it wouldn’t have had the same impact - another important fact: that king is fictional. Manuel I was the King of Portugal at that time, he was around 50 and he was married to one of the daughters of the Holy Roman Emperor Charles V.

Well, I hope you enjoyed my Ted Talk (?) and soon I’ll do another post about other big mistakes that the show made. I don’t post it here because this is already a long-ass post 😂

[electra-xt]

thoughts on s2

i’m done, and overall i really enjoyed it! here are my initial thoughts

things i loved:

• the lighthearted way that the show handled the incest! i thought all the jokes about it were great and i enjoyed diego’s freakout about lila being his sister

• COMMISSION DIEGO was SO GOOD

• the handler!!! everything the handler!!!!! i’m so glad she’s back

• i don’t hate hazel anymore! thank you for your service sir

• the handler blatantly and obviously hitting on five, even when he was in the teenage body— and lying in the bathtub reading his files

• i think allison got a lot more to do this season and that made me happy

• thotty diego stripping down and also wearing tank tops all the time and having sex with lila

• five is amazing and unhinged

• the lila/five fight to bad guy YES

• hello by adele in swedish YES

things i did not love:

• i feel like the writing was just... really bad sometimes? diego was so inexplicably dumb! why was he obsessed with jfk? why was everyone so mean to him all the time? and if i were a klaus or luther stan, i would not be happy. 

• my biggest problem with this season was that for 90% of the time, the show was just the siblings failing at things. i don’t like idiot plots and i don’t like that kind of tension. episode 7 was particularly bad because you just knew from the very beginning that they weren’t going to succeed, so you basically just had to watch as the whole “we have to leave” “no i have attachments here!” happened over and over again, and it really makes the show drag. they made up for this with the fight in ep 10 but i think it really should have been more evenly spread out throughout the season, and it added a level of “oh my god why are you so stupid” to everything. no thanks

• on a less frustrating writing note, i loved diego’s whole “y’all need to recognize that i got shit going on y’all don’t even know about” moment but it felt so off from everything else he’d said that i kind of wonder if it was improvised

• but elliott’s torture and death :( he deserved better! in general i think this show is just too obsessed with torture... like i know i’m more skittish than average but jesus christ! why? and the scenes in the mental institution and the FBI facility were really twisted too

• i did not care about the swedes as characters at all

• why the fart jokes?? is this somebody’s fetish?

• i still just... diego’s hair... aghsdkfghskdjg

• diego’s hair, corollary: bro let him have a little chest hair... the entirely waxed look felt a little unnerving

• i wish they’d laid down more clues to lila’s powers before the very end

• this is gonna be unpopular but i was totally unconvinced of the chemistry between vanya and sissy. i felt like sissy didn’t get much of a fully fleshed-out characterization and they didn’t do much but pine for each other and talk about escaping together

BUT i really did love it by the end, and i’m gonna make a separate post of my favorite diego moments but any time the family was reunited and working together it made me so happy. and i’m really glad they brought back the handler! and i loved the commission! and i have lots of thoughts (and ones regarding shipping lol) so don’t hesitate to reach out!!! i have turned anon off temporarily but i 1000% do want to hear from people who want to talk TUA so hit me uppp

[violethowler]

A Farewell To The Clone Wars

Yesterday was the end of an era

After 11 years and 104 days

After a theatrical movie, a novel, a comic miniseries, 8 incomplete story reels, and 133 episodes

After 49 hours and 12 minutes of incredible, heartbreaking, beautifully animated television….

Ended, The Clone Wars have.

I watched all of the existing Star Wars movies on DVD when I was a kid, but I was never particularly enamored with them the way that others are. And then in August 2008, I went to the local movie theater with my grandmother to see an animated movie that – while I didn’t know it at the time – would chart the course of my future for years to come.

While a lot of the general Star Wars fandom looks down on the theatrical Clone Wars movie as weak and lackluster, 11-year-old me loved every minute of it. I’ve been obsessed with animation my entire life, and around 2 years before the theatrical release of Star Wars: The Clone Wars, I had just begun to explore the world of animation outside of my childhood Disney bubble, diving headfirst into SpongeBob and Avatar and Codename Kids Next Door. Whenever I saw commercials for an animated movie playing in theaters I would beg my family to take me to see it. It didn’t matter what the movie was actually about, all that mattered was that it was animated and I thought it looked fun.

So, when I saw Star Wars: The Clone Wars in theaters with my sister and my grandmother, I loved it. I enjoyed the movie so much that when I learned there was going to be a TV show following the movie, I was ecstatic. From the moment that the first episodes of Season 1 aired on Cartoon Network a few months later, I was hooked. From the very beginning I refused to miss a single episode. From middle school all the way through high school The Clone Wars became the axis around which almost all of my entertainment consumption revolved.

I started reading more Star Wars books and comics from all over the timeline. The Thrawn trilogy. Darth Bane. Fate of the Jedi. The Old Republic. Lost Tribe of the Sith. I devoured every piece of Star Wars media I could find as this show awakened in me an appetite for all things Star Wars. Whenever my parents asked for gift ideas for my birthday or Christmas, at the top of my list would be the latest season of The Clone Wars on DVD. Every summer I trawled the internet looking for news from Star Wars Celebration or San Diego Comic Con about the next season – trailers, clips, plot details, whatever I could find.

When the show was initially cancelled following the purchase of Lucasfilm by Disney, I was devastated. This show had such a staple of my life that the idea that it wasn’t going to be coming back hurt. As I started looking around at online Star Wars fandom to find someone, anyone, who felt the same way that I did, I discovered #SaveTheCloneWars, and joined the campaign. Through that first year after the plug was pulled, I wrote to Disney asking them to continue the show. I signed fan petitions and made posts on Facebook. It was my first real engagement with the wider online fandom.

Then came The Lost Missions and the Clone Wars Legacy releases – Crystal Crisis, Son of Dathomir, Dark Disciple… Having more Clone Wars stories helped soften the pain of the show’s loss, but the story still felt incomplete. Hearing about future arcs that had been planned for the show only added to the sense of incompleteness, knowing that there were more stories we didn’t get to see. When rumors had begun circulating about an animated Star Wars show set post-Clone Wars, resolving unanswered questions of The Clone Wars was at the top of my wish list for a future Star Wars show.

When Rebels was announced I was cautiously optimistic. I didn’t want to get attached to a new set of characters when the loss of Ahsoka and Rex and my other Clone Wars favorites still felt so raw. After Dave Filoni and the production crew of Rebels posted videos introducing the crew of the Ghost and the core cast of Rebels I reluctantly became more interested, I still was cautious about investing my time in this new show out of fear that it too would be ripped away from me without a proper conclusion just like The Clone Wars was.

So, when the final episode of Rebels’ first season confirmed that the mysterious Fulcrum was none other than Ahsoka Tano I was out of my seat cheering. There were still questions I needed answered about what happened to her after she left the Jedi Order, but the fact that she was there, back on my TV screen once more, was a relief. And when I watched the first trailer for Season 2 a month later, the words “My name is Rex,” made me scream and cry. I was overcome with tears of joy knowing that not only would my favorite Jedi be appearing in Rebels but my favorite Clone Trooper as well.

By the time Rebels’ first season had ended, I was getting ready to graduate from high school and planning where I would go to college in the fall. Taking art electives in high school, particularly a computer art class during the airing of Season 5, made me appreciate just how beautiful the show’s art style was, and when the time came for me to plan where I wanted to go to college, I chose schools that had programs for animation. I had originally wanted to be a game designer because of Kingdom Hearts, but The Clone Wars made me realize that the passion I truly wanted to make a career out of was animation.

I continued to follow Rebels as I went off to college, and by the end of Season 3 – with Maul dead for good, Ahsoka MIA, and Rex and Hondo as the only major Clone Wars characters left on the show – I had gotten attached to the Rebels characters as well. I was just as invested in their fates as I was for those of Clone Wars characters like Rex and Hondo. Season 4 finished airing at the end of my junior year, and the knowledge in the final five episodes that Ahsoka had not only survived her confrontation with Anakin at the end of Season 2 but that she was still alive years after the events of the original trilogy had me crying tears of joy as I went to sleep.

The trailer announcing the return of The Clone Wars had me in tears for hours. Long had I been dreaming of the remaining stories of this show being released in some form. I would have been content with more novels and comics like Son of Dathomir and Dark Disciple, but to have the show return in animated form was a miracle I had given up hope for years ago.

But within the last twelve months, my interest in Star Wars cooled.

I was never the biggest fan of the movies. Revenge of the Sith was my favorite because in the absence of a proper conclusion it functioned as a de facto finale to The Clone Wars. I enjoyed the original trilogy, but they weren’t movies I considered my favorites. I saw The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi in theaters and cried on my first viewing of both films, but on repeat viewings the magic of them faded and I lost interest. While I could understand why other fans liked them, there was a spark that was missing from most of the movies released under Disney that prevented them from really having any staying power for me.

And then The Rise of Skywalker came out and completely shattered any expectations I had that Disney really knew what they were doing with the franchise. Where before I was willing to trust that there actually was a plan because of how precisely Rey and Ben Solo’s arc followed the path of the Heroine’s Journey across The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi, now I realize that what I initially believed to have been a carefully planned narrative arc was most likely JJ Abrams planning to set up a conventional Hero’s Journey which Rian Johnson used to try and tell a Heroine’s Journey instead. And even if there was a plan for Rey and Ben Solo that got screwed around by behind the scenes conflicts, there was clearly no plan as far as Poe and Finn and Rose were concerned.

For months after this, I started questioning and doubting my love of all the canon Star Wars media. How could I enjoy anything in the Original and Prequel trilogy eras knowing that all the hard work of dismantling Palpatine’s empire would be undone in order to rehash the same plotline with new characters and no concern given for whether the audience could follow what was happening or why these events and character decisions mattered if they hadn’t read every comic and novel and played every video game connected to this era.

Since the last trailer for the final season of The Clone Wars went up on YouTube, I vacillated between enthusiastically sticking to the shows I loved regardless of my problems with the film saga, and abandoning the franchise altogether and gifting my Clone Wars and Rebels Blu-Ray sets and associated novels to my college friend who had just gotten into Star Wars.

And then ‘The Phantom Apprentice’ Happened.

Ahsoka and Maul’s two-part duel in the throne room and the rafters of Sundari reminded me of everything I loved about The Clone Wars in the first place. The animation. The art style. The music. The attention to detail on every character and in every detail. The tragedy of what was to come. On my third re-watch of the third-to-last episode of Season 7, that was when I realized that despite my problems with the Sequel Trilogy, despite the many flaws in the writing of the Prequel movies, I could never give up on The Clone Wars, or on Rebels. These two shows have meant too much for me to ever walk away from either of them.

I have cried at least ten times in the last five days watching the final two episodes of The Clone Wars. The final of this incredible series was such a gut punch even though I knew what was coming and who would survive. I had and saw so many ideas about what the last episode would include. Would their be a montage of all the Jedi who survived Order 66 as a mirror of the death montage in Episode III? Would Ahsoka and Rex receive Obi-Wan’s recorded message from Rebels warning surviving Jedi to stay away from the temple?

But in the end, none of those things happened. The focus of the episode remained on Ahsoka and Rex. Their escape from the ship. The tragedy of their inability to save the other clones. And ending with a shot of Vader finding the ship some time later, all these symbols of the Republic buried beneath the winds of time as the empire rises. It was bleak and depressing and when the credits rolled I was holding back tears. But looking back on the entire series and the era of the war, knowing what was coming, there was no other way I could have expected it to end. The audience already knows that this is not the end, but Ahsoka and Rex don’t know that, and so the finale of The Clone Wars reflects this. The pain and despair. The tragedy and confusion over what will happen next. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Despite all the movies I’ve watched; the comics and novels I’ve read; the video games I’ve played; very few things in Star Wars canon or Legends have been able to match the magic of The Clone Wars in my heart. I have never truly been a Star Wars fan so much as I have been a Clone Wars and Rebels fan. The novels and comics and movies I enjoy are an extension of my love for the shows, but the shows will always come first. The characters these shows introduced have stuck with me more than any characters from the movies ever has. Clone Wars made me love Anakin and Obi-Wan and Padme and Yoda, but to me, my Star Wars favorites have always been Ahsoka, Maul, Rex, Ventress, Fives, Hera, Zeb, Thrawn, Sabine, and all the rest.

So, I just wanted to say thank you to Dave Filoni, Ashley Eckstein, Matt Lanter, Catherine Taber, James Arnold Taylor, Sam Whitwer, Nika Futterman, Dee Bradley Baker, as well as every single person involved in bringing this show to live for all the hard work and passion you have poured into this series. Your work on this show shaped the person I am today, and I look forward to seeing what you do next.

May the Force Be With You.

[justmythots8]

When The Novelty Wears Off

After watching the highly anticipated 60 Minutes Australia’s segment titled “How Meghan Markle Lost Her Sparkle”, I finally felt validated in my opinions of Meghan Markle. They covered (most) everything that we have all been saying for quite some time now. It was especially gratifying hearing royal correspondent Katie Hopkins slam the duchess for her diva-ish behavior. Katie covered everything from the private jet hypocracy to Meghan acting like a celebrity and everything invetween. I found myself nodding my head, and shouting “Yes”! at my computer screen after Katie’s tangent.

Then came the part where they tried to compare Meghan to Princess Diana, asking if “history would repeate itself”. Again, I started nodding my head, and shouting at my computer screen, but this time, I was nodding & shouting “No”! Diana’s & Meghan’s circumstances are entirely different. I don’t understand this constant need to compare the two, as you’re only adding to Meghan’s obsession with her. As Patrick Jepson pointed out, Diana was a real Britton, who understood real British issues. Her portfolio impressive, especially for a Royal. Meghan needs to stop trying to be Diana. Never will she be remotely close to as influential or as loved as Princess Di. And that’s not because Meghan doesn’t have a good work ethic, it’s because she isn’t genuine, and people sense that. Everything is about fashion, and Glitz & Glam. Real brittons, who are facing real life crisis’ could care less about all that noise. Diana was genuine. Meghan is not.

See? Genuine.

And then they brought up the dreaded, over-played “R” word. Racism. I found it both comical & ironic that even Patrick Jepson explained that he advised Harry not to go that route. That going with the “everyone is just racist” narrative would fail. Jepson went on to explain that “The whole racial question is entirely misleading, it’s irrelevant, and I would warn against anybody taking that line as any sort of explanation as to why Meghan sometimes doesn’t get the press she necessarily wants”. He goes on to say that “If you take that point of view, then you’re going to miss perhaps, some more relevant reasons as to why Meghan isn’t as popular as she should be”. A bit of word-salad, but on pointe, nonetheless.

Fast-forward to September 8th, and suddenly we have all of these pro-Meghan Markle articles being pushed down our throats. Two of them stood out to me. The first was an article posted by Vanity Fair. The headline was “Meghan Markle’s Impromptu U.S. Open Trip Shows Shes Learning From the Criticism”. Im sorry, what? Have we been following the same Meghan Markle? The same Meghan who snubbed the queen, and turned down her Balmoral invitation? The same Meghan who claimed that “Archie was too young” to travel to Balmoral? The same Meghan who, last month took Archie on a private jet to Ibiza? The same Meghan who left her newborn son and husband & flew across the Atlantic, to watch a 2 hour tennis match? The same Meghan who has her face plastered on the giant Billboard at the U.S. Open, promoting the airline “Emirates”? The same Meghan who insisted that she sit in between Serena Williams’ mother and her husband, forcing Serena’s sister Venus to sit in an entirely different row, all because Meghan refused to sit next to Anna Wintour (because of the Vouge drama)? That Meghan? Just what exactly has she learned? https://www.vanityfair.com/style/2019/09/meghan-markle-impromptu-us-open-trip

The other article titled “Meghan Markle is A Good Friend” also published by Vanity Fair, again, had me shaking my head. Does anyone really give a monkey’s uncle that Meghan Markle is a good friend? Seriously? Because I can think of a hundred different things that people care more about than whether Meghan is a good friend or not, you know, like how they’re going to make rent, or put dinner on the table. Or find a babysitter for their sick kid so they can go to work. You know, real-world problems. Meghan, and apparently the press, seem to be living in La La Land, where everything is rainbows & Unicorn farts. https://www.vanityfair.com/style/2019/09/meghan-markle-serena-williams-new-york-us-open

Meghan needs to live a day in the life of an ordinary citizen, who makes an ordinary living, and who has ordinary problems. Maybe then she will understand what it means to struggle. She’s had her way paid for by others her whole life. It’s no surprise that the result is a selfish, entitled, ignorant duchess who doesn’t think about anyone but herself. Like that comment she made to Pharrell at the Lion King premiere “They Don’t Make It Easy”.

I’m sorry Meghan, that your biggest crisis this week was that the public disproves of you, and your popularity has suffered because of your piss-poor attitude. We kind of have more important things to worry about over here, like getting enough hours at work to pay our mortgages or fix the car so we can actually get to work. Or how we’re going to juggle work, kids, bills, and on top of all that, take care of a sick parent who is unable to care for themselves, physically and financially. But you just keep worrying about you, Meghan. It seems to be working so well. Clearly, Vanity Fair doesn’t get it either. I completely agree with Patrick Jepson; There is a difference between being a celebrity and being Royal. “Celebrity life is earned, Royal life is granted”. Essentially, he’s saying that celebrities have earned their right to live lavishly. Royals, have not.

[autodiscothings]

What inspired you to write Ori and Kolyat specifically? What drew you to them? Sorry if you’ve already answered this!

I couldn’t answer this last night, as to me this is a question that requires more thought than two large gin and tonics would allow, and I wanted to do it justice. 

Before the art, which I think most people follow me for, there was (and still is) the writing. I wanted to write a Mass Effect crime story back in 2017, and thought a drell lead who could remember things perfectly would make a fantastic detective. 

Eidetic memory could be a useful plot device, too; if I wrote it in first person, it would not only make the mystery element more compelling (you are there with Kolyat as he works things out) but would make those flashbacks less jarring.

Kolyat was also a character that intrigued me. I could’ve gone with a drell OC, but I wanted to know more about him. I thought his father’s story was done, tied up in a neat bow; Kolyat’s story was not, and I was left wondering- was he okay? Did he survive the Citadel explosion? What does he do with himself, does he become a priest, a detective, an advocate for his people? Does he stay under Bailey’s wing? Does he return to Kahje? Does he actually carve a life for himself out of his parent’s shadow? 

It occurred to me that rather than badger other fanfic writers to answer the questions above (you can still see my “but what about-” comments to some of them, sorry guys) I could write my own.

Disconnect is my first Detective Krios mystery, and I did begin to answer some of my own questions. It’s a WIP I’ll return to one day, but Kolyat has remained unchanged as my writing has progressed. A good thing, since it’s his voice that steers the stories. He is still:

Grumpy, to the point of misanthropic behaviour.  

Has dry, somewhat sarcastic observations 

A secret softie, good with kids and animals

Obsessed with his work

A runner- likes to run to clear his head

Just a detective. Not a Shepard, not his father, not a Vakarian. 

A stranger in a strange land- a minority in whatever space he’s in.

Complicated in his thoughts regarding his people, culture and religion; has an immigrant’s guilt, but pragmatic with it.

Has/had a conflicted relationship with his father. Kol knows as an adult that his dad was dysfunctional because of the Compact/his own shitty childhood -even has empathy for it- but he still can’t quite forgive Thane his choices in life.

You’ll notice it’s all Kolyat I’m talking about so far, and not Ori. Partly because the reader doesn’t know her inner thoughts- she might be in every story, but the reader only knows her through the eyes of Kolyat.

I go into great detail in this post here why she’s important to me, and how I write her. In all honesty, when I first started writing her in Disconnect, I liked the idea of her more than the character. She was a woman in his flashback memories to haunt him, a familiar Noir trope. 

It’s also one she took great offence at, as weird as that is to say about a character I write. Ori’s personality has had the most change and nuance in my writing because of this, but from the start I knew:

She was no one’s doormat

Works in colony development, understands politics and red tape

She has a very rich life outside of Kolyat’s sphere/observation

She has a sense of humour- sass is the name of the game

Smart, capable- more so than Kolyat in some aspects

Old Hollywood femme-y glamour passed through a Mass Effect filter

Ori’s had so much more added to her since then. Disconnect is the story where she’s the least featured; Sirens & Selkies and Acts of Repetition she is very much there and holds her own, and is not just a flashback.

I know a lot of people in the fandom are either nonplussed about the pairing/story (it’s not Shepard, etc)  or have problems with the Kol/Ori ship itself, but that’s rarepair hell for you.

 I’ve also seen the “but why?” comments in the tags- pair the spares, ugh is one, but that’s part of the reason I like them; in the postwar context as I write the characters, it just makes sense.

Kol and Ori have a lot in common; the biggest is of course the Normandy connection, a frankly secret part of their life they can’t talk about with most people- not really. Ori even calls herself a Lee, not a Lawson. Why would she take Henry Lawson’s name, anyway? She had a family before him and Miranda.

 Obviously “but my sister worked with your dad” is not enough for a relationship, but it’s definitely enough for an introduction. “We met at a party” is also a start, which is how they first met Postwar. I’ve found the ones who hate ‘Koliana’ the most have their own passionate/thought out version of Kolyat and Ori anyway; fair enough, so do I.

My OTP is (personally) delightful to me, because:

Their sass! Back and forth banter is a delight to write.

An interspecies relationship where the physical is not actually the difficult part- the cultural and emotional side is.

Not soulmates, but people who have to make an instant connection last a lifetime, and always work at it.

Seem polar opposites, a moon/sun dynamic

It just makes sense to me. These two are in the long haul, and I know what they do up until their mid 50s; I will finish Disconnect and Sirens after Repetitions is written, maybe I can explore that time of their life (and their kids!) after they’re done.

Writing takes me a long time though, oh boy. I’ll get there! I have no desire to quit; obviously this world I’ve made still means a lot to me.

[nunaya-business]

Let’s Talk About Steven Universe

*WARNING* This … “essay” has my opinions only. I am not speaking for the community, I am speaking for me because I like to express myself and there are people like @susanaaatc​ out there who like these kinds of discussions. So if you want, I’d like for others to give me their whole opinions on the show as well. Hell make a whole post about it like I did and tag me in it so that I can see your opinion. With all that stated, let’s get down to Bismuth.

So Steven Universe came out in 2013 and I was 11 years old at the time. I liked Regular Show and Adventure Time, not to mention I was obsessed with Rise of the Guardians and Monster High, so I was a bit preoccupied to watch the show. Eventually though, my best friend at the time talked about it constantly and she brought up the concept of fusion. She showed me the art book of the show that she bought and it showed how two completely different gems could fuse into one gem to become stronger. This is where my interest started, and it was the same concept that started pushing me away from SU later in it’s show run. 

So fusion in Steven Universe is mostly treated as a relationship, and it’s not always just romantic. It can be between two friends, it can be seen as a more sexual relationship between two gems, a romantic relationship, or a parent-child relationship like with Steg (Steven and Greg’s fusion). This is an amazing concept and I love it so much but… I’m not here to talk about what I like, I’m here to talk about what I dislike. 

One of the best characters in the show is Garnet. Garnet was revealed in season 2 (I think) to be a fusion between the two tiny gems Ruby and Sapphire, and Garnet is the manifestation of their love. She’s an amazing example of not only a healthy, respecting, and loving relationship between two people, but also is an amazing example of a healthy same-sex relationship. You see, Steven Universe uses “code” to represent something like race, gender, and age… But we’ll get to that later. My problem isn’t really with Garnet herself, but what Rebecca and the Crewniverse has made her in to. Many have said it before, and I agree. After her reveal as a fusion, Garnet was no longer the cool, collected, fun-in-her-own-way “mom” we knew before, she turned into a fusion, and a symbol for fusion, and a representation… of a fusion. After the reveal, all the crewniverse seemed to view Garnet as… was a fucking fusion! She lost a lot of personality in the 3rd and 4th seasons in my opinion and was really only used in the plot when it had something to do with fusion. To me it’s like having a friend group with only one Asian friend and the rest a different race, and then only inviting the Asian friend to hang out when you’re going to watch Anime, or a Kdrama. It’s a bit racist is it not? Just because you can relate a character to something in the plot does not mean that character has to be there. Maybe instead of putting Garnet in every fusion episode (with the exception of “Earthlings”) just mention her. She doesn’t have to be in every damn episode that has to do with the subject. 

A lot of people have an issue with Bismuth… and I can understand that. Let me explain why. “Coding” is what a creator of any media does to give the consumer an idea of a character’s personality, race, age, gender, etc, without it being too obvious. Off the top of my head I’ll state what I view the “coded” characters as.

 Garnet, Sapphire, Sugilite, and Bismuth are coded Black.

Amethyst to my knowledge is coded Hispanic or Latina or something like that.

Pearl, the Diamonds, Opal, and Rose Quartz are coded White.

Rainbow Quartz and Aqua Marine are coded White and British.

And I’m not sure about Peridot, Lapis and Jasper are supposed to be coded as.

So the race thing has brought up some issues. In the official artbook that I mentioned earlier there was a concept design for Concrete and the design was a little… oof. People weren’t very happy… lemme just show you.

So obviously people weren’t happy that good ol’ Concrete here looks like a blackface character from the early 20th century animations. And I agree it’s pretty bad, but I don’t think it was intentional. 

Some controversial things that come from the show (other than countries like Kenya being assholes and trying to act like LGBTQ doesn’t exist) are the portrayals of two specific characters, who also happen to be fusions, and I agree with most things people don’t like about them.

Let’s start with Stevonnie. Stevonnie is the nonbinary (but let’s be honest she’s a girl) fusion of Steven Universe and his love interest Connie Maheswaran (I had to look up how to spell her last name smh). They’re supposed to represent Steven and Connie’s closeness as best friends and their growing crushes on each other. Rebecca Sugar has also stated that they’re a representation of puberty…. Excuse me? Puberty must have went swell for you Sugar. There’s someone who made a video about why they hate SU, that person being the ever controversial Lily Orchard, and she covered why Stevonnie is just… honestly she’s waifu bait. I agree with probably everything Lily says about this character because… it’s true. Puberty seriously ain’t pretty, and it sure as hell ain’t sexy until after it’s done… sometimes. Also, Sugar is contradicting herself saying that the Crewniverse isn’t sexualizing two very under age kids because Stevonnie is Steven and Connie’s ages added up… which would make the fusion 26 years old… that’s a bit old for puberty Rebecca. It feels to me like they wanted to make a sensual character, and there’s nothing wrong with that, but they didn’t really want to add a new character so they just put the two love interests together. But that’s so fucking wrong. I’m sorry, but sexualizing Stevonnie, which they are doing btw, I will make a post if you question it, is like people shipping siblings or an underage person with someone way older than them and saying “it’s totally fine because they’re just characters” (*cough cough* Ereri *cough cough* Hitachiin shippers *cough*). If you’re going to use that excuse, but then get angry at people who don’t take the character seriously because they are just a cartoon, then you’re a hypocritical asshole. Sorry to tell you. Stevonnie is a very good character overall though. I’m just uncomfortable when they appear because they’re two kids in a trench-coat with curves like an anime schoolgirl and moves like someone who just successfully seduced a poor guy into giving them the secret to the Crabby Patty formula.

Now let’s move on to Steg, the fusion between father Greg Universe, and son Steven. There’s nothing wrong with them fusing because fusion in SU symbolizes a relationship, no matter what kind. However… why do two chubby men make a sex symbol rock idol??? That’s… that’s gross. Why the fuck is Steg so “hot”? Why on earth would you create a fusion out of a father and son and think it’s appropriate to sexualize them and make them gyrate their genitals like they’re an Elvis Presley impersonator? Just… WHY? Do I even have to explain why this is so wrong? Really? Honestly??? You can fuse Steven and Greg and not make it so sexual, but nah let’s give them rock hard abs, a humongous bulge a sharp jawline that neither of the two have, and a tight ass. What the actual fuck?? 

That’s not my biggest issue though. My biggest issue is giving the Nazi bitches a redemption ark smaller than my nonexistent cock. Endeavor from My Hero Academia is an absolute prick right? He abused his children, notably his youngest, and his wife, and is an absolute asshole to everyone, but he gets a redemption arch. Do you know why it makes sense though? First off because as far as we know Endeavor never committed genocide, and second because he’s not a Nazi, he’s an abuser. Abusers, whether we like to admit it or not, can eventually see the error of their ways and understand that what they’re doing is both wrong and that it doesn’t work. Endeavor is getting a redemption arch because he obviously loves his kids, he just doesn’t know how to show it because of some circumstances we may not know. 90% of the time an abuser was abused themselves growing up, so they grow up with that resentment and they go one of two ways. They see how wrong it is and knows that it won’t get them anywhere in life if they bully others to stay on top, or they think that since they went through it and came out alive, then others should go through it too. I should know, because my dad was from an abusive family, and he turned out fine(ish… long story) while his brother and sister are pieces of shit that can’t hold a job or a home because they’re too involved in criminal activity to do so. 

What does Endeavor from MHA have to do with the Space Nazi Diamonds in SU? Well people were sending Horikoshi Kohei death threats because he had the gull to redeem an asshole, and SU fans are pissed because Rebecca Sugar had the lady balls to “redeem” space Nazis. The difference being, you can be redeemed if you were an abusive cock, but not if you’re a genocidal bitch. There’s a huge difference. 

Rebecca and the Crewniverse giving the Diamonds a 4 episode redemption arch is absolutely abominable. Peridot’s redemption? Fucking amazing, beautiful, couldn’t have done it better myself. Jasper’s? It’s currently going amazing and they’re doing a great job keeping her in character while also making her likable and even a bit charming. Lapis? Oh… let’s talk about her shall we?

Lapis Lazuli’s character is an absolute disaster. She’s a cunt, she’s a horrible friend, and my god is she abusive! Lapis was supposed to be a sympathetic character, and for a while she was. You could feel bad for her because her gem was damaged and she was trapped in a mirror for thousands of years and when she’s finally released, you understand her want to go back home and why she took the Earth’s ocean to try and reach it. It was understandable when she didn’t want to break out of the prison ship because she was anxious and scared of being locked away for another thousand years. It was easier in her mind to just behave and wait. When Jasper convinced her to fuse with her Lapis didn’t really want to, but saw an opening for the freedom of the humans and mostly for Steven, the one person who saved her from hell. But then everything went south.

Lapis and Jasper were fused as Malachite for months, obviously in a very stressful “relationship”, and apparently a very abusive one as well. When they were finally able to unfuse, Lapis was played off by the Crewniverse as a victim of abuse. This may be half true. After all we don’t know exactly what happened with them at the bottom of the ocean. What we do know however is that Lapis admitted to being abusive. This makes her an abuser. She described how it made her feel happy to abuse Jasper, or “taking my anger out” on her. She admitted to abuse and the Crewniverse still painted her as a victim. They’re both victims of abuse, and they’re both abusers. But that’s not what makes Lapis a horrible person… gem…

Lapis is a cunt… again. It’s okay to be antisocial, it’s okay to be cautious and stand-offish because you’ve been trapped, imprisoned and used so many times. What’s not okay is being a bitch to people trying to comfort or make friends with you, or try to cheer you up. Poor Peri, she was just trying to make amends and comfort Lapis after her whole ordeal with Jasper. Peri offered the cunt the thing that helped her organize her thoughts, the thing that calmed her in situations that made her anxious, the thing that comforted her and the first gift given to her by her first friend and the first person that listened to her thoughts, and the cunt destroyed it. She destroyed Peri’s recorder right in front of her, calling it garbage. Oh and the abuse doesn’t stop there, it only really began, because when shit started to hit the fan, instead of helping each other through it, Lapis abandoned Peridot and took the home they shared. Without a single thought she just took it and abandoned her, and it devastated Peri. I don’t remember her apologizing, and if she did it doesn’t matter because if I don’t remember then it must not have been very sincere. 

I’m sick of spitting negative shit so I’m gonna end this here. Personally I’ve been liking the last few episodes, but I’m not too confident that the finale is gonna be satisfying. Those are my thoughts, do with it as you will, but for God’s sake be fucking adults about it. If you don’t got the guts to curse without saying “h3ll” or “pu$$y” or something like that then you’re not mature enough to respond to this. I’m not gonna argue with 9-year-olds. I’ll only have a conversation with mature people.

[spikeisawesome456]

1. Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? Uh… None, actually. I use YouTube and iTunes mostly. I have YouTube premium family (means that for $15, I get six accounts that can have YouTube Premium) so I don’t have to worry about ads and all that. 

2. is your room messy or clean? Both? I only have a thin area of my room that can have movement, since it’s so small. The majority is taken up either of my bed or my dresser/end table/storage. So the room is full of stuff, but the main area is kept clean so I can move through it, ya know? 

3. what color are your eyes? Green/blue, but mostly green. I also have brown in the center of my eyes. I guess you could call it hazel? I don’t really know what hazel eyes mean, honestly. 

Here’s a close up I took a while ago. I’m looking at you!! Ha!

... I just realized I’ve not changed at all since I was a child. :-(

4. do you like your name? why? Yep! I like it. I have a long, more formal name (Katherine) but also a shorter, more informal nickname (Katie). I like this dynamic of my name. I also like how it sounds. Both of them. <3 

5. what is your relationship status? Single, but okay with that. I’m starting to think I’m aro, as I don’t… ahh, like people? Much? It’ complicated. 

6. describe your personality in 3 words or less Very, very, annoying. 

7. what color hair do you have? I think you could call it golden?? I usually call it dirty strawberry blonde. It’s a coppery color, but also blonde. Not quite strawberry, not quite dirty. A mix? 

This is a somewhat good example, but it is a bit more copper-toned than usual, due to the light next to my computer. The kids at work ask me sometimes if I dyed my hair, since it is almost completely orange on the badge my work printed for me, aha. But this shows the range of colors my hair goes through. 

8. what kind of car do you drive? color? Ha! What, you think I’m a functioning adult? I don’t know how to drive. 

9. where do you shop? Literally anywhere? I don’t care. I get my pants from Walmart, my shirts from wherever sells cute fandom shirts. 

10. how would you describe your style? Ha!!! I answered this one in an ask, but I determined I have no style. I just prefer comfort to fashion. 

11. favorite social media account Hm… I don’t tend to care much for social media accounts, personally at least. I just follow whatever is neat. I guess I like Game Grumps social media?? Eh. 

12. what size bed do you have? Twin. It’s pressed up against the wall and I just sleep pressed into the corner like I’m trying to merge and become one with the wall. One day, sweet wall……..

13. any siblings? Sadly, yes. _._ An older brother. He’s actually fine, but still siblings...

14. if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why? Probably…. Hm. I liked New Zealand when I visited, but I don’t know if it would be the best place for me to live, since it’s just so different to how I live now. Same with Ireland, though both would be amazing for me. I think… honestly, where I currently live, since it has good weather and is familiar to me. 

15. favorite snapchat filter? Don’t use snapchat! :-D 

16. favorite makeup brand(s) Hm… I used to only use Bare Minerals, but they don’t have great coverage, I’ve found. I’ve been using Clinique now, but I think they make me break out, which is bad. I don’t like makeup and I always feel it on my skin, or else it makes me break out after usage. I have very sensitive skin, ya feel me?

17. how many times a week do you shower? Never! I hate showers. I don’t like the feel of being blind when the water gets into my eyes.

I take a bath twice a day, though. Once in the morning and once at night, where I wash my hair. I know I’m not supposed to wash my hair so often, but it’s a habit at this point and it helps me sleep now.

18. favorite tv show? Buffy the Vampire Slayer, mostly since it was so important to me growing up. I still love it, though! I just don’t tend to have favorites, ya know? But Buffy will always mean the most to me. 

19. shoe size? I don’t… I don’t really know? Heels I’m a size 8, I think? But I wear size 9.5 for sneakers, since I like my shoes a bit big. I think??? I don’t really know. 

20. how tall are you? Ehhhhhhhh I say I’m 5’4, but who knows. I think I’m 5’3 and a half. I just round up. According to my doctor’s records I shrank and am 5’2, so who even knows anymore. Height is a made-up concept to control the short. ;-)

21. sandals or sneakers? Sneakers, god. I wore sandals once for a fancy event and I got sand and dirt on my feet immediately. It was sad. :-(

22. do you go to the gym? HA!

23. describe your dream date I don’t really know. As I said, possibly aro. Maybe…… Uh…. Somewhere quiet. Private. I’m not good in groups or crowds. OR! Maybe a theme park, the absolute opposite of what I said. OR a fair. I love fairs! Anything, really. I’m not picky. 

24. how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? Oh! This one is a shock, because my dad just gave me a lot of money since I paid for dinner with my mom, since he was being an overly dramatic baby over me calling out his awful behavior and left us alone for dinner at Red Lobster, and he stubbornly paid me back. So I’ve got… let’s see… about $135, if you count the $30 I had in before. 

25. what color socks are you wearing? Ha! Jokes on you! I’m not WEARING ANY SOCKS!!!! AHA!!!!!!!

26. how many pillows do you sleep with? One. Too many makes me feel weird. 

27. do you have a job? what do you do? Well… I HAD  job, because Covid. I was an after-school teacher, where I looked after kids, kind of daycare style, ya know? I loved it, and I love kids. Currently I’m “teaching” some of the kids I used to look after STEAM over Zoom. Apparently, the girls- sisters- missed doing my STEAM experiments each week and asked their mom to contact me to do the experiments with them over Zoom. I use “teaching” in quotes, since I mostly just do science activities with them, step by step, without much teaching involved. I used to explain why what we did was science, but I don’t want to make the kids do more work when they have so much with Covid going on. Also, I’m lazy, ha. 

28. how many friends do you have? None! Seriously, but it’s okay. As I said earlier, I’m not the biggest fan of people so it’s kind of reliving to be on my own for the most part. I had been making a new friend before Covid, but we’ve not spoken much since. I did text her once and she seemed friendly still. Maybe we can meet up after this all is done with.

  29. whats the worst thing you have ever done? Uh… I don’t really know? I used to get into fights online, mostly just fighting for what I believed in, but I never really attacked anyone, or I didn’t mean to. I’ve not done many bad things?? Not to make myself out to be a goodie-two shoes, but I don’t like hurting people or being “bad,” so I tend to avoid things like that. I’ve probably done things others consider “bad,” but that don’t register to me, so I don’t really know. 

30. whats your favorite candle scent? Oh my god. I’m currently OBSESSED with this new candle from Bath and Body Works. It’s called Strawberry Pound Cake, but it smells like strawberry vanilla, and it’s AMAZING. I love it. I also have it in hand cream and hand sanitizer form and it’s THE BEST. It reminds me of those strawberry vanilla candy things from when I was a kid. 

31. 3 favorite boy names Daniel, William, and… uh… I’m not sure. Alex, maybe? I know I like Daniel and William though. 

32. 3 favorite girl names Emmaline, Clara, and… hmmm… Not sure, again. 

33. favorite actor? Hm. Not sure. I don’t do favorites much. I guess Misha Collins? If this were about YouTube people, I’d say Dan Avidan in a heartbeat. Though… technically he is an actor… he did an actual YouTube show, with a plot and acting, so he’s technically an actor. So, then, him. 

34. favorite actress? I’m even less sure about this one, honestly. I don’t pay attention to actors or actresses much, really. I know Misha since he does GISH, but otherwise I’m unsure about actors much. 

35. who is your celebrity crush? Oh, Dan Avidan, clearly. He’s amazing. My profile pic on Tumblr has been the same for 4 years because I can’t get over the fact I met him. I used to change my profile pic every so often, with my artwork, but now I’m never changing my profile pic. Ever. 

36. favorite movie?  Uh…. Probably Phantom of the Opera, 2004. I love that film. Again, not super into favorite things, but if I had to pick one it would be PotO. 

37. do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? Well, I DO read a lot. Mostly it’s fanfiction though, aha. And again, favorites aren’t really my thing. I used to say Island of the Blue Dolphins, but I reread that book a few years ago and didn’t like it as much. Still liked it but was more eh about it and never finished my read through. Maybe Stargirl, by Jerry Spinelli. I’ve not read it since I was a child, but I recall it being really good. My favorite book I’ve read recently would probably have to be Rebecca, by Daphne du Maurier. I had a lot of problems with it, but ultimately, I loved that book. 

38. money or brains? Brains, obviously. They taste better. :-)

Though to be honest, I do say brains. Money is good, don’t get me wrong, but with brains the person can actually think about doing what is right or wrong. Money corrupts and without thought, there’s so way around it. 

39. do you have a nickname? what is it? Yep! Technically I only go by my nickname, since I go by Katie, but my full name is Katherine. 

40. how many times have you been to the hospital? Ooooh, personally? Once, when I broke my arm when I was 4, almost 5. Well, many times for that, but one time overall. I’ve been in the hospital often for my mom and dad, though. My mom is disabled and is a bit of a hypochondriac, so we sometimes have to take her to the hospital whenever she has pain, just to be safe. She did once have kidney stones, though, so it was needed. My dad had a panic attack once and thought it was a heart attack, so we were there for that. I also went to the hospital once when my grandma was dying, to say goodbye with my dad. It wasn’t sad, which says a lot about my and my dad’s relationship with my grandma. 

41. top 10 favorite songs HA! Can’t. Seriously, can’t. I love too many songs equally for this one.

  42. do you take any medications daily? Yeah. I used to take Seroquel nightly, but that just made me gain 40 pounds and didn’t help with mood much. It only helped me sleep and that was replaced by over the counter melatonin and Benadryl. So I gained 40 pounds for nothing and I’m struggling getting the weight off. Yay!!!!!!

43. what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) Both, I think? 

44. what is your biggest fear? Death. 

45. how many kids do you want? I don’t know, one or two? I don’t know if I want to get married though, so… Single mom for the win? I also might want to adopt older kids, or foster them at least, give them a place to live. When I’m on my own and have a stable, good paying job of course. 

46. whats your go to hair style? Whatever my hair naturally does, honestly. I just brush it out and it does its own thing. I have thin, wavy hair, though, so it’s mostly fine. It parts in the middle, and I don’t have bangs. It refuses to grow passed my boob level, no matter how long it goes between haircuts, so it hangs there. It always grows back to boob level, but never passed. No idea why. 

47. what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) Very presumptuous, question thing, to assume I live in a house. I live in an apartment, with my mom, dad, and older brother. It’s fairly big, with two bedrooms and a converted den for my bedroom, but it’s small for 4 of us. Less then 1500 square feet. I think 1200? 

48. who is your role model? Hm. This is gonna sound conceited, but myself. Or, the person I want to be. I have an idea of what I’d like to be in life, and that is what guides me. It’s not based off anyone I’ve met, but based on my own personal desires, a mis-mesh of ideals. The only person you can be is yourself. Trying to be like someone else will only hurt you. Even wanting to be like someone else can be hurtful. Not that I’m putting down anyone who has role models! But it just… never worked for me. Putting people on pedestals hurt me, so I just look forward to being the best version of me that I can be. 

49. what was the last compliment you received? Hm… I get a lot of compliments on my Facebook page, people saying I’m doing a good job with that. So that, probably. 50. what was the last text you sent? It was too my dad, who, as previously mentioned, was being a bit of a butt and was mad at me for calling him on his rude behavior to me and my mom. I texted “alright,” to him telling me to not buy him a takeout dinner. I didn’t listen though, and he ate it when we got home after sulking a bit. He’s better now, but he’s yet to apologize. He never does. -.- 51. how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? Uh… Wait, Santa isn’t… real…?!?!?!

Aha. JK. I don’t know. Maybe 8?? I don’t remember. I just know I believed when I was 6-ish, when Polar Express came out, since I asked for Santa bells for Christmas. I think I also believed the next year, but I don’t remember much. I learned the difference between Judaism and Catholicism around then, and eventually decided to be Jewish when I was 12-ish, but who knows, man. Who knows? 

52. what is your dream car? One that self-drives and doesn’t ever crash, so I don’t have to drive myself. 

53. opinion on smoking?

Bad! Bad, bad, bad!!! No smoking!

Truthfully, honestly. My mom gets really sick around smokers, especially around pot and vape smokers. It makes her have an allergic reaction. 54. do you go to college? Yeah baby! I just finished and will be getting my (probably useless) degree in the mail soon! Summa Cum Laude, baby! (Highest honors, if you don’t know what that means). Now I just got to get into grad school so I can do something with my Psych BA! Aha. Haha. Ahahaha. Ha… 55. what is your dream job? School psychologist! I want to help children, but don’t have the temperament to be a teacher. I’m too lenient and would let them walk all over me. I kind of do as an after-school teacher. The kids respect me, though, and like me well enough. I don’t think I could be the only person responsible for them, though. I get frazzled, which I learned while doing my STEAM activities and the kids would NOT listen, sometimes. I could do it, though, if the whole school psych thing doesn’t pan out. Or school counselor, would be my second choice. Something to do with kids, though. 56. would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? Hm. I like city life, though I think I’d prefer suburbs. I live in a kind of suburb, though I live in a major city… We just don’t have skyscrapers near where I live, only downtown. We have over a million people in my city, and 3 million in the county. So, big. 57. do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? Uhm yeah??? Why wouldn’t you? They’re free souvenirs! I went to a kid-themed hotel once, near Disneyland, for my parent’s anniversary, which had this neat bubblegum shampoo from their kid spa. I loved it so much I asked my dad to buy me a whole bottle of it as a body wash. It was… expensive, but I still have some left over, which I’ve kept for some reason. 58. do you have freckles? Some, yeah. Not many on my face, just some around my arms, scattered. I have a big one on my left palm, at the base of the meat of my thumb, if that makes sense. Otherwise they’re just scattered all around. 59. do you smile for pictures? Yep! Well… my version of smiling. I don’t ever smile with my teeth, since they’re small and my lips are so long, so it looks awkward when I smile with teeth. Instead I just smile with my lips. 60. how many pictures do you have on your phone? HA! I had to get myself a 164 GB phone to deal with the fact that I take lots of photos. Over 2,000, now. 61. have you ever peed in the woods? Ew? No? I hate the woods. Or, going into the woods. I like the idea of woods and I like being in them, guided, but staying in them? No. Scary. 62. do you still watch cartoons? Yep! I’m currently watching She-Ra! I like it! 63. do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? Oh, no contest. Wendy’s. I do like McDonalds’ chicken nuggets, but Wendy’s are just *chef kiss* mwah! 64. Favorite dipping sauce? Ranch, but I especially like Wendy’s ranch. It’s creamy and nice. 65. what do you wear to bed? Pretty much what I wear during the day. I used to literally just go to bed in my day clothes, before I started taking a bath each night, about 6 years ago. Now I wear yoga pants (ones without pockets, since I finally found ones with pockets for day use!!) and an old faded T-shirt. 66. have you ever won a spelling bee? HA! HAHA! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I can’t spell. I’ve liteally been spelling half my words wrong this entire time. Spell check is my best friend. Though! I did get to the finals of a class spelling bee once, since they gave me easy words (to me, at least) and my classmates harder ones. It was almost funny. 67. what are your hobbies? I like to draw, paint, write, do other crafty stuff… Things like that. I also read, fanfiction mostly. :-) 68. can you draw? Yep!! 

Behold! My digital drawings!

This was my most recent traditional drawing, using charcoal for the first time. It was for GISH. 

69. do you play an instrument? Nope! Ha, but I do wish I could, ya know? But I’m bad at doing different things with one hand vs. the other, which is why I can’t clap my hands and stomp my feet with alternating rhythm. I can only do one thing at once, ya know? 

70. what was the last concert you saw? Ohh, hm. This is a good question… Hm… I think… It was at my county fair last year? A country dude with my parents. Trace Atkins, my dad said. I’ve not had the chance to see many concerts recently, sadly. :-(

71. tea or coffee? I like coffee better on the whole, but I’ve begun to like fruit teas, like raspberry or strawberry. I also like this nice orange/cinnamon tea. 

72. Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? Dunkin Donuts, is this supposed to be hard? We don’t have many where I live, though. I like their iced coffee from stores, though.  

73. do you want to get married? Ehhhh…… I’ve talked about this before. I’m not sure, really. If I find someone I like who likes me, maybe. But I have a hard enough time making friends, so I doubt it. 

74. what is your crush’s first and last initial? N.O.

(Stands for no one. :-) ) 

75. are you going to change your last name when you get married? IF I get married, probably not. I like my last name. It’s unique. 

76. what color looks best on you? Hm. I don’t really know. Maybe red? I don’t have style so I don’t know. I like blue and purples, but who knows. 

77. do you miss anyone right now? Eh, not really. 

78. do you sleep with your door open or closed? Closed, but my “door” is a curtain, since I sleep in a converted den which has two open windows into the living room that are covered by curtains, and no door, which I also cover with a curtain on a shower rod. It was good when I was a sleepless teen, but now that I’m an adult trying to fix my sleep habits, it’s not so good, ya know. 

79. do you believe in ghosts? Not… really. Not much more to say about this. 

80. what is your biggest pet peeve? People being rude. Like… stop it. 

81. last person you called` Hm. Prolly my dad? Or my brother. I don’t like calling people. Phone anxiety, ya feel me? 

82. favorite ice cream flavor? Rainbow sherbet! Fun fact, when I was younger at camp, maybe 16 or 17, our camp counselor asked us this question and I replied with rainbow sherbet, saying it properly (sher-bet, not sher-bert) and my camp counselor went OFF, saying “Thank you!” for saying it properly. He was… something else. 

83. regular oreos or golden oreos? Oooh, I like those cinnamon bun Oreos. You know the kind? They’re the BEST. I can’t buy them often or else… well. I’ve already gained 40 pounds the last couple years. No need for more, aha.

84. chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? Rainbow. Pretty!! 

85. what shirt are you wearing? My “Scare to Care” shirt that I bought for charity a few years ago. It’s a charity that raises money for Camp Kesem, which helps children who have a relative undergoing cancer treatment have a nice, normal camp experience for free, I think. 

86. what is your phone background? My lock screen is the picture of me and Dan, the background is the drawing I did of the Guardians of the Galaxy years ago. 

87. are you outgoing or shy? Both! Aha. I’m friendly when talking to people, seemingly outgoing, but I don’t go up and talk to people. I fear I’m annoying them, ya know? And I’m awful in groups. I never know when to talk and when I do talk, I fear I’m annoying people. Actually… I always feel I’m annoying people. Aha. Ha… 

88. do you like it when people play with your hair? Yep! People don’t do it often, though. Kids will, but you have to be careful when they do that. Sticky hands are not the best to be in your hair…. 

89. do you like your neighbors? I guess? I’ve not spoken to my neighbors since my next-door neighbors of 5 years moved out 5 years ago. They had kids my age, but we never really spoke. They were… not the brightest, or kindest. They once took in a stray puppy and locked it in their hot garage. My older brother and I freed it and kept it in our hallway outside our apartment, since we have emergency doors that we could close to keep him in, while we played with him. I’m allergic to dogs, though, and we have guinea pigs, so we couldn’t bring him inside our apartment. Luckily their parents got home after an hour or so and brought the dog to the shelter. They also had a different dog who kept escaping and my brother and I had to keep an eye on it often. It once got into our apartment and it was, ah. Fun. She didn’t hurt our pigs, though, so it was a plus!

90. do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? YES. Both morning and night. It has not helped my acne. 

91. have you ever been high? Nope! Not even when I got my wisdom teeth out. I was fine the minute I woke. I felt ripped off. I was a bit over tired, but no more than if I’d not slept the whole night. Maybe I’m just always in a perpetual “high” state??? 

92. have you ever been drunk? Nope! I have a high tolerance, so one or two drinks does absolutely nothing for me. And I’ve never tried more than a coupe drinks. I’m almost afraid to see myself drunk, ya know? I’m so energetic usually, but keep a lot of thoughts inside, so who knows what I’d be like. I don’t like being out of control and I honestly think I’d hate it.  

93. last thing you ate? Shrimp Scampi. From Red Lobster. ^-^

94. favorite lyrics right now Uh… Again, no real idea. I’m not good with favorite things. 

95. summer or winter? Hm. Summer, I guess? It’s not much different where I live, though we get more rain during winter. I prefer heat to cold generally, though. So summer in general. I also like summer aesthetics, you know?

96. day or night? Hm. Day, though I do love night time. I just usually am inside during the night. 

97. dark, milk, or white chocolate? Milk! I hate all other kinds of chocolate. 

98. favorite month? Do people have favorite months?? February, I guess? Since I was born in February! And it’s a rebel. Only 28 days compared to the usual 30 or 31. And sometimes it has 29. Take that, months! 

99. what is your zodiac sign Aquarius. :-D 

100. who was the last person you cried in front of? Hm… that’s a… good question… I don’t like crying in front of people. Probably my mom or dad. I tend to head off on my own when I cry, though. I don’t like people seeing me sad, ya know?

Yay!! I’m done!! This took waaaayyyy too long. I’ve been doing this for probably over 2 hours. Hope y’all learned something. Prolly that I’m uninteresting, aha. ^-^ If you made it this far without skipping, I love you. <3 If you skipped… YOU’RE DEAD TO ME! 

Ha, just kidding. ^-^

OR AM I?!?! 

:-)