#The show is supposed to be for kids but I swear that's a mistake

[korikokorin]

Headcanon

Jurrasic World: Chaos Theory Darius Bowman; Kenji Kon

They both read to me as golden retriever boyfriends.

like they both give, "You're my world and I would literally do anything for you." but like kinda in different ways you know?

Kenji reads to me as like the quality time + gift-giving type of golden retriever boyfriend. He takes you on all the well-planned dates and gives you sentimental gifts and wouldn't hesitate to drop anything and everything if you need them you know?

Darius to me is the acts of service + physical touch type of golden retriever boyfriend. He's the type to constantly be glued to your side "attached at the hip" style. He'd follow you around, constantly take care of you, and take any opportunity to hold you that he can get.

[rmview]

you disappear after a fight, mafia!SKZ.

featuring — stray kids members x gn!reader  ( masterlist )

summary — an imagine of how the mafia stray kids boys react when they tell you to leave during an argument and you disappear!

contents — angst, hurtful words, disappearing, possible kidnapping, regret.

bang ♙ chan

the argument wasn’t supposed to spiral like this. it started over something small — a careless comment from one of his men, a territorial glance, your frustration over always being kept in the dark. you’d snapped, and for once, you didn’t back down when chan raised his voice. 

“i’m not your possession, chan! i’m a person, not one of your men you can order around!” 

he was tense, jaw clenched, pacing the floor of his private office while his fingers ran anxiously through his hair. the stress of rival families breathing down his neck, shady deals, and betrayals had worn him thin. but none of that was an excuse. he knew it the second the words left his mouth. 

“then get lost. go. if you can’t handle this life, if you can’t handle me, then get the fuck out.” 

the silence that followed was suffocating. 

you stared at him, stunned — not because you’d never fought before, but because you never thought he would throw you away like that. not when you’d stayed, despite the danger. despite everything. 

“fine,” you whispered. no tears. no pleading. just cold resignation. 

you turned and walked out before he could stop you. but hours passed. then a day. then two. and you didn’t come back. 

at first, chan was stubborn, convincing himself you needed space. he kept the others from looking for you, burying himself in work, pretending it was what he wanted. 

but then your phone went dead. your apartment was untouched. no signs of you at your usual spots. none of the safe houses you both used. his men couldn’t find a single trace. and suddenly, the crushing weight of those words came back to him like a tidal wave. 

“i didn’t mean it,” he whispered to no one in particular, sitting alone in his office with his head in his hands. 

felix was the first to call him out. 

“hyung, something’s wrong. she wouldn’t just disappear.” 

the guilt festered in chan’s chest, sharp and suffocating. what if someone got to you? his enemies weren’t the type to show mercy. and if they found out how much you meant to him — how much you still meant, even if he was too much of a coward to say it — 

“find her,” chan snapped, standing so quickly his chair toppled back. “turn over every street, every contact. i don’t care what it takes. bring her home.” 

but deep down, what terrified him more wasn’t the idea of you being kidnapped. it was the possibility you left because you finally realized you deserved better. 

he stared at the bracelet you’d left behind on his nightstand — a cheap little trinket you once said brought you luck. he hated how empty the apartment felt. how cold his bed was without you in it. 

if you were out there, alive and avoiding him, chan swore to himself he’d tear the world apart to find you and make things right. and if someone else had taken you? well — the city would burn. 

“i’m sorry, baby,” he whispered into the dark, clutching your bracelet. “i’ll fix this… i swear i will.” 

but the silence was unforgiving. and you were nowhere to be found. 

felix ♙

the warehouse was thick with tension, lit only by the flickering overhead lights. felix’s voice, usually calm and grounding, came sharp this time — edged with something unfamiliar, something bitter. 

“i told you to stay the hell out of it, y/n!” 

you flinched at the volume, heart hammering in your chest. you hadn’t meant to get involved. one of the lower-ranked men had made a mistake, and you stepped in to help, thinking it would ease the situation. but instead, it spiraled into this. another fight. another harsh accusation thrown your way. 

“i was just trying to help, lix,” you muttered, your throat tight. 

“help?” he scoffed, running a hand through his hair, his usually soft gaze hardened. “do you have any idea what could’ve happened if they found out how close you are to me? you think this is a game?” 

your stomach twisted. you’d heard this speech before. about how dangerous it was. how being involved with him painted a target on your back. and yet, you stayed. you always stayed. 

but today, something inside him cracked. maybe it was the stress. the way rival syndicates had started closing in. the threats. the backstabbing. and for a moment — he let the wrong words slip. 

“maybe it was a mistake letting you stay this long.” 

the world stopped. 

you stared at him, your breath caught, disbelief spreading like ice in your veins. felix froze too, the weight of his own words immediately crashing down. the expression on your face — one of betrayal, of heartbreak — made his stomach turn. 

“wait —” 

“no,” you whispered, holding up a hand. “i get it.” 

and before he could take it back, you walked away. 

felix stood frozen, heart pounding. his mouth opened to call you back, but his throat was dry. his pride, his fear, kept him silent. 

you didn’t show up that night. or the next. your apartment was empty. your phone went straight to voicemail. even his contacts couldn’t trace you. 

at first, felix tried to tell himself you needed time. that you’d cool off. come home. you always did. but days turned into a week. and with each passing hour, the knot in his chest tightened. 

his nights became restless. he’d sit in his room, clutching the small silver chain you’d once given him, the one with a tiny charm he never took off. he’d stare at it, running his thumb over the smooth surface, remembering how you laughed when you clasped it around his neck. 

“i’m your good luck charm now,” you had said. it felt like a lifetime ago. 

felix barely spoke to the others. his usual warmth dulled into something cold and distant. even bang chan noticed. 

“you’re spiraling, lix,” chan said quietly one evening. 

“i let her go,” felix admitted, his voice breaking for the first time. “i said something i didn’t mean and now — now she’s just… gone.” 

chan’s jaw tightened. “have you considered maybe someone took her?” 

that thought had haunted him every day since. if anyone knew what you meant to him — and in this world, secrets didn’t stay hidden for long — they’d use you against him. and he wouldn’t survive it. 

he clenched the chain tighter. “i’ll find her,” he swore under his breath. “even if it’s the last thing i do.” 

but in the quiet of his room, with nothing but shadows for company, felix was left with a single, unbearable question. what if she left because of me? 

and no amount of bloodshed would fix that. 

lee ♙ know 

the room was thick with cigarette smoke, the sharp scent of gun oil hanging in the air. minho paced the length of his office, jaw clenched, eyes dark and stormy. you stood your ground, though your heart pounded beneath your ribs. this wasn’t the first time tempers flared between you. but this was different. there was something in the air tonight. a pressure neither of you could escape. 

“i told you to stay out of this,” minho growled, slamming a hand down on the desk. papers fluttered, a glass tipped over. 

“and i told you i wasn’t going to stand by while you get yourself killed!” you shot back, voice trembling more with emotion than fear. “i love you, you stubborn bastard. do you even get that?” 

he froze for a fraction of a second, something soft flickering in his gaze before it hardened again. the world had taught lee know to keep his heart buried, to use sharp words as armor. and right now, his instincts screamed to push you away before you got hurt. 

“love me?” he scoffed bitterly. “if you really loved me, you’d know your place.” 

the words hung in the air like a slap. you felt them like a punch to the gut. minho saw it too — the way your expression crumbled, your eyes dimming, shoulders dropping. 

“i didn’t…” he swallowed hard, but pride — damn his pride — kept him from saying what he should have. 

“no, it’s fine,” you whispered, the fight draining out of you like water from a cracked glass. “i get it.” 

you turned, walking toward the door, your figure framed in the dim light. every step you took was another crack in his armor, but minho didn’t move. couldn’t. when the door closed behind you, the room felt suffocating. 

for the first hour, he told himself good riddance. that this was for the best. you’d be safer, far from this bloody world. you didn’t belong in the shadows anyway. 

by nightfall, regret began to gnaw at him. by morning, when you didn’t come home, it had twisted into raw panic. he called your phone. no answer. sent one of his men to your apartment. empty. no note. no sign. no explanation. 

minho wasn’t one to show weakness, but by the third day, even his men noticed the cracks. the way his temper flared, his orders sharp and reckless, how he didn’t sleep, barely ate, eyes flicking to the door every time someone entered as if half-expecting you to appear. 

when felix cautiously approached him with your bracelet — the one you never took off — found near the docks, something inside minho shattered. 

“you think…?” felix started carefully. 

minho snatched the bracelet, fingers curling tight around the delicate chain. 

“i’ll find her,” he said, voice low and dangerous. “whoever has her… or if she left on her own… i’ll find her.” 

but alone, with only the silence for company, minho replayed those final words over and over. if you really loved me, you’d know your place. 

he didn’t mean them. god, he didn’t mean them. it was meant to protect you, to scare you away from this life before it ate you alive. but now — he wasn’t sure if he’d destroyed the one thing worth protecting. and in the suffocating quiet of his office, lee know swore on his life: he’d find you. 

even if it killed him. 

hyun ♙ jin 

the city skyline glittered beyond the penthouse windows, a thousand pinpricks of light against the dark. but hyunjin wasn’t looking at any of it. he was staring you down, eyes wild, hair a tousled mess from running his hand through it a thousand times since this fight began. the tension between you crackled like an open wire, sharp enough to sting. 

“why can’t you just stay out of it?” he barked, voice frayed at the edges. 

you stood your ground, though your heart felt bruised. “because you keep bleeding for people who wouldn’t blink if it was your body lying cold in the street, jinnie. i won’t sit by while you get yourself killed.” 

hyunjin’s face twisted, a storm of fear and fury and frustration swirling behind those beautiful, dangerous eyes. god, you had no idea how much you meant to him. how terrified he was every second you were tangled up in his world. but like a fool, the only way he knew how to protect what he loved was to push it away. 

“you think you matter to me more than this family?” he spat, the words ugly, the venom in them making him flinch even as they left his mouth. “you’re a goddamn liability. if i knew you’d be like this… i wouldn’t have bothered.” 

you recoiled as though struck. 

hyunjin’s chest heaved. silence filled the space between you, broken only by the pounding of his heart against his ribs. your lips parted, as if to say something, but you just nodded. 

“okay,” you said softly. “okay, hyunjin.” 

and then you turned and walked out. he didn’t follow. he couldn’t. 

the door clicked shut with a finality that left the air thick, suffocating. hyunjin dropped into the leather chair behind his desk, head in his hands. what the fuck had he just done? 

for hours, he stared at the dark, empty doorway. told himself it was for your own good. that if you hated him, you’d leave and be safe. but the echo of your last words haunted him. 

okay, hyunjin. 

it was the absence of your scent in the apartment, the stillness of your side of the bed that night that broke him. and by morning, when seungmin showed up with a grim face and a message: 

“she’s gone.” 

“what do you mean, gone?” 

“no one’s seen her since last night. she’s not at her place, not at work. phone’s off.” 

a creeping dread crawled down hyunjin’s spine. at first, he convinced himself you were cooling off. needed space. a day, maybe two. but then a call came in from a contact at the docks — an earring, one of yours, found near an abandoned warehouse. hyunjin’s blood ran cold. 

a million scenarios tore through his mind — kidnappers, a rival gang making a move, or worse. he felt his heart rip open at the thought that you’d left because of what he said. and now you were gone, and he might never get the chance to say he didn’t mean it. that he was a coward. that he loved you so fucking much it terrified him. 

by the third day, hyunjin stopped going to meetings. stopped answering calls. he was a ghost in his own world, drinking too much, eyes bloodshot, replaying your last conversation on a loop. 

and every time he passed by the bedroom, he’d catch himself reaching for you. 

okay, hyunjin. 

the sound of it would echo in his skull. and now, with no leads, no trace, and a hollow ache eating him alive, hyunjin vowed to burn the city down to find you. because losing you wasn’t an option. 

not when he’d barely started to admit he needed you to breathe. 

jeong ♙ in 

the rain hammered down against the warehouse roof, slicking the world in silver. jeongin’s hand gripped the edge of the table so tightly his knuckles blanched white, jaw clenched like a trap about to snap shut. you stood across from him, chest heaving, drenched from chasing him down, refusing to let this fight end the way it always did — with you being the one to back down. 

but this time, you were too late. something in jeongin’s expression had shifted — a volatile mix of fear, anger, and helplessness all masquerading as cruelty. 

“you don’t get it, do you?” his voice came out sharp, biting, desperate. “this isn’t your world, y/n. it never was. you’re a weakness i can’t afford to carry.” 

the words stung, but you stood your ground. “i didn’t ask to be protected, jeongin. i asked you to stop shutting me out like i don’t matter. like i haven’t been standing by you through everything.” 

he scoffed, but the way his throat bobbed betrayed him. “and you think that makes you safe?” he snapped. “it makes you a target. and if i knew you’d be so stubborn, so reckless — i wouldn’t have fucking let you in.” 

you flinched like he’d slapped you. the moment the words left his lips, regret hit him like a freight train. but it was too late. he saw your face crumble in real time, your eyes gloss over, the ache in your chest so visible it nearly shattered him on the spot. 

“i get it,” you whispered, voice cracking. “you win, jeongin.” 

and then you turned and walked out into the rain. 

jeongin didn’t move. couldn’t. he told himself not to — that it was better this way. that if you hated him, you’d stay away, and you’d live. but when the hours ticked by and your phone went to voicemail, when the safehouse you sometimes hid at was cold and empty, and no one in his crew had seen you, unease settled in his gut like a storm cloud ready to burst. 

the first night, he stared at his ceiling until dawn, fighting the urge to call, to apologize, to beg. the second day, felix showed up at the door, his expression tight. “she’s gone, hyung.” 

“what the fuck do you mean gone?” 

“no one’s seen her. she’s not answering anyone. and —” felix hesitated, swallowing. “there’s talk. a car was found by the docks. her phone was inside.” 

jeongin felt his knees nearly buckle. a cold sweat broke out across his skin. “who took her?” his voice dropped to something lethal, barely human. 

“we don’t know yet.” 

and just like that, the storm inside him broke. 

jeongin tore through the city like a man possessed. every contact, every rival crew, every informant — he interrogated them all. threatened, bribed, broke bones. no one got away untouched. every second without you felt like his chest was being hollowed out. because as cruel as he’d been, as sharp as his tongue could cut, he loved you in a way that terrified him. and now, you were gone. 

each night he went back to his apartment, it felt emptier, the silence so loud it drowned out his thoughts. the blood on his hands didn’t matter. the empire he’d built felt worthless. because you weren’t there to scold him for getting hurt, to steal his hoodies, to tease him about his dimples. 

and every time it rained, the sound would bring him back to that night — the look on your face, the pain in your voice. 

you win, jeongin. 

but he hadn’t won a damn thing. and now he swore, if it took tearing the city apart brick by brick, he’d find you. and when he did, god help anyone who’d laid a hand on you. because there was no fury like mafia jeongin scorned — and no force on earth would keep you from him again. 

han ♙

the argument had started like so many others between you and han — sharp words, too much emotion, both of you too stubborn to back down. the stakes in his world were high, and it made him reckless with his temper and cruel with his words when he felt cornered. and that night… he went too far. 

“you should’ve stayed the hell out of my life,” han spat, his voice louder than he intended, raw and frayed at the edges. “i warned you what being with me meant — you think this is some fairytale? that i’m some good guy under all this?” 

you’d tried to stay calm, biting back tears, knowing how he got when he was afraid. because that’s what this was — fear dressed up as fury. but it didn’t make the words cut any less. 

“i stayed because i love you, jisung. but you — you’re so busy pushing everyone away, you don’t realize you’re breaking the people who give a damn about you.” 

he laughed, bitter and humorless, shoving a hand through his hair. “good. then maybe you’ll finally get the hint and leave before someone uses you to hurt me.” 

you stared at him. “that what you want? for me to leave?” 

his eyes met yours for a heartbeat. too long. too much. and then the mask went back up. 

“yeah,” he forced out, voice cracking just enough for you to catch it before he turned away. “get lost. i don’t need you.” 

you left. you slammed the door so hard it rattled the frame, and he just stood there in the echo of the empty room, his chest heaving, hands trembling. the silence was deafening. 

he told himself it was better this way. that this was the only way to keep you safe in a world where people like him had blood on their hands and targets on their backs. he drank himself numb that night, hoping to forget the look in your eyes when you’d left. 

but forgetting you was impossible. and when he woke the next morning and found your phone still on the table, and your location not showing up, an eerie, gnawing dread settled in his gut. 

it got worse when you didn’t show up at your friend’s place. when no one had seen you at work. when your emergency contact hadn’t heard a thing. felix showed up mid-afternoon, pale and grim. 

“jisung… there’s a problem.” 

the words sent a chill down han’s spine. “what kind of problem?” he rasped, voice thick with hangover and panic. 

“there was a tip… someone matching y/n’s description was seen near the docks last night. with a couple of guys — from mingi’s old rival crew.” 

everything in him snapped. his heart felt like it stopped, then kickstarted into overdrive. the world blurred around him as rage and terror clawed through his chest. all his instincts, all his guilt, surged at once. “no,” he breathed. “no, no, no —” 

he was on his feet, barking orders before felix could even finish explaining. “i want every goddamn rat in this city hunted down. if someone took her — if they touched her—” his voice cracked, but his expression was pure murder. “they’re dead.” 

the thought of you out there, scared, alone, maybe hurt because of him… it wrecked him. because the truth was, han jisung loved you so much it terrified him. and in trying to protect you by pushing you away, he’d only made it worse. now you were gone, and he didn’t know if he’d ever get the chance to say what he should’ve said that night. 

that he didn’t want you to leave. that he needed you. that he was scared. and he swore to himself — if he found you, if you were still alive — he’d make it right, even if it took the rest of his life. 

because losing you was the one thing he wasn’t built to survive. 

seung ♙ min 

the fight that night wasn’t like the others. it didn’t start with sharp sarcasm or low jabs meant to irritate. it started quiet — a look, a question you didn’t mean to land like a blow. 

“do you even care anymore, seungmin?” 

he stiffened where he stood, jaw clenching, dark eyes flicking to you across the room. the tension between you two had been unbearable for weeks. the danger he tried to keep at bay was closing in. rival families making moves, his men getting hurt, deals falling through. you were the only softness in his life… and he hated himself for needing it so badly. 

but seungmin wasn’t good at letting people close. he loved hard, quietly, and when the world turned volatile, his instinct was to cut ties before anyone else could rip them away. 

you knew that. you just didn’t expect to be the one he’d cut. 

“i asked you a question,” you said, voice tight, arms crossed though your hands trembled. 

he swallowed, tried to look away — couldn’t. and because fear felt like anger in his chest, because losing you felt too much like weakness, the words slipped out cold and lethal. “if you were smarter, you would’ve left a long time ago.” 

the silence after felt suffocating. your lips parted, like you’d say something, but no sound came. his own chest hurt, like the words he’d just thrown at you ricocheted back, sharper than he intended. 

you nodded slowly, eyes shining. “okay.” 

you didn’t scream, didn’t beg. you just turned, grabbed your bag, and walked out. not bothering to slam the door, not glancing back. seungmin stood there, a ghost of a man, staring at the door like he couldn’t comprehend what he’d done. 

the hours after blurred. he kept expecting his phone to buzz, a message to appear, a familiar knock at his office door. but the silence stretched on. his men came and went, reporting about shipments, skirmishes, meetings — none of it registered. 

when changbin finally showed up, looking grim, a bad feeling coiled in his gut. 

“what?” seungmin asked, voice hoarse. 

“she’s… gone.” 

his stomach dropped. “gone where?” 

“that’s the problem. no one knows. she’s not at her place. didn’t show at her job. her phone’s off.” 

a cold sweat broke out across his skin. his head pounded. “did someone take her?” 

changbin hesitated, and that pause said more than words ever could. “there’s a chance,” changbin admitted. “we’re trying to track down any leads.” 

seungmin’s heart, normally so guarded and steady even in the face of death threats and shootouts, lurched painfully in his chest. 

and all he could think about was your face the night before. how he’d thrown you away with words designed to keep you safe but only ended up leaving you vulnerable. he felt sick. 

“i want every contact on the streets. i don’t care if it’s some street rat or one of minho’s spies — find her,” seungmin ordered, voice steel and acid beneath the panic. “anyone touches her… they’re dead.” 

his men scattered. seungmin stayed behind, sinking into his chair, head in his hands. because the truth was, you were the only person who saw him as more than the cold strategist, the mafia boss with ice in his veins. you saw the boy who loved indie songs and late-night drives. the man who worried more than he’d admit. 

he’d told you to leave. told you he didn’t care. he didn’t deserve forgiveness. but that didn’t stop him from praying you’d survive long enough for him to try. and if someone else had taken you? god help them. because seungmin would burn the whole city to ash to bring you back. 

chang ♙ bin 

the fight started in a flash. it always did with changbin. he wasn’t the kind to simmer — he burned hot, sharp words and loud voices, his way of coping with the fear that one day you might leave him before he lost you to his world. 

but tonight… tonight hit different. 

“i’m sick of you keeping me in the dark!” you shouted, eyes wet, standing in the middle of his office while his phone buzzed with missed calls, his men waiting outside the door. 

you knew what he did — the deals, the bloodshed, the debts paid in bullets and silence. but you loved him anyway. and you were done pretending it didn’t eat you alive when he came home bruised and distant, when bodies dropped and he shut you out like you were some fragile thing he had to protect by destroying. 

“i don’t need your permission to handle my business,” changbin snapped, pacing the room, fists clenched. 

“i’m not asking for permission, bin. i’m asking for honesty. or am i just some convenient distraction you fuck when you need to feel like a person?” 

the words landed harder than you meant. changbin froze, a muscle twitching in his jaw. his face twisted — part hurt, part fury. 

“maybe you are.” 

the silence was instant. a shattering, deafening kind. the kind where you realize you crossed a line you can’t uncross — and so did he. you blinked at him, breath catching. “say that again.” 

his voice cracked, just barely. “if you’re gonna be this goddamn difficult, then get out. go. i don’t care.” 

it was a lie. but you heard it like gospel. and this time… you left. 

bag over your shoulder, keys in hand, you stormed out past his men who turned away, pretending not to notice the storm that had just rolled through. changbin didn’t chase you. didn’t call after you. his pride was too loud in his ears, drowning out the sound of his own heart breaking. the door slammed. 

he threw a glass against the wall. shattered it. then another. swearing under his breath, chest heaving, tears he’d never admit to stinging the back of his throat. 

“fuck.” 

time passed in a blur. an hour. then two. then three. 

at first, he thought you were cooling off. letting him stew in his guilt, like you always did when his temper got ahead of his heart. but when jisung showed up, pale and serious, changbin’s stomach dropped. 

“she’s gone,” jisung said softly. 

“what do you mean gone?” 

“no one’s seen her. her apartment’s empty. phone’s off. her car’s still there. no sign of where she went.” 

changbin’s blood went ice cold. he felt his chest cave in, a sharp ache he’d never felt even after getting shot or losing men in alleyway deals. nothing compared to this. his voice came low, deadly. “who did this?” 

“we don’t know,” jisung admitted. “could be one of bangchan’s enemies. or maybe… maybe she left for good.” 

that was worse. that was so much worse. 

changbin clenched his jaw, hands shaking as he grabbed his gun and jacket. “put the word out. i want eyes everywhere. if anyone so much as breathed near her, i want their head.” 

and in the quiet that followed, as his men scrambled, changbin sat back in his chair and let the weight of what he’d said crush him. he could handle betrayals. blood debts. rival families. he could even stomach the thought of dying in a back alley one night. but losing you? losing you because of his own reckless words? 

he’d burn down the world if it meant bringing you home. even if you never wanted to see him again. 

notes: that was a rollercoaster xD i got carried away writing after so long and ended up giving the anon’s request a mafia twist since i’ve been wanting to start my mafia series for months now but never got a chance :’) there’s not going to be a part 2 for this since anon wanted an angsty ending sooo i hope you guys enjoy this as it is xp thank you for reading ~

[glow-in-the-dark-death]

To Be Wooed

I blacked out and wrote this. This is so silly to me.

Enjoy!

Look Danny didn't mean to kill the Joker it was an honest mistake, he was still recovering from escaping the GIW and whatever they had used on him had still been in effect when he honest to Ancients ran into the fake clown.

Of course it doesn't look like an accident with how he left the Joker

But it was!

Really it really was!

Whatever the GIW did was out of his system, but that still left a very dead and coreless Joker.

Yeah...apparently Joker had a core, but not anymore because he ate it like it was pop rock candy, if the weird cousin spicy version of it. He still feels like he has some of it stuck in his teeth.

Anyways! Not the point!

Joker! Very dead at his feet, what is he supposed to do-

THUMP

Oh Ancients he's going to die again that's the Red Hood!

"Uh...I can explain, well not really. But it was an accident! I promise and-"

"You killed him?"

"I'm really sorry? He bumped into me, it was an accident I swear!"

"Go on a date with me."

WHa-what?! Did he just hear correctly why would he ask him out out of nowhere it made no sense and..oh.

Red Hood's been touched by Death not like him but enough to count, and enough to have some ghostly instincts.

Okay ghostly courting he can do that, he totally can, no sweat!

Shit who is he kidding he may have the instincts but he was never actually taught how he's supposed to use them or anything.

Well he's always been good at making it up as he goes, and at least his instincts will help push him in the right direction.

So he should just do what feels natural to him.

"Yes I'll go out with you. If I were to make jewelry and knives out of his bones would you accept them?"

"...For me to wear and use. Yes."

~

Danny freaking out about just killing and kinda eating someone: I'm in so much trouble!

Jason behind him fixing his appearance: "Well hello there handsome come by here often?"

~

Joker bumping into Danny: "ahAHA you will make a good experiment!"

Danny is high as a kite and getting the munchies: "I didn't know I could order food with my mind!"

Joker: "Whut-"

~

Jason seeing Danny absolutely wrecking Jokers shit: *Ghost Instincts Activated*

~

Jason falling fast for Danny without even knowing his name: "Can I pretty please kiss you?"

Danny realizing what's going on but still being clueless: "Does that mean you will accept these gifts made from Jokers bones?"

Jason's Ghost Instincts rising to a fever pitch: "I'm going to woo the fuck out of ya and then we'll get married then we'll fu-"

~

Danny's Ghostly Instincts being connected to his 'Protection' & Jason's to his 'Revenge' showing these kind of specific gestures towards them is incredibly romantic.

~

Jason and Danny's relationship basically:

~

~

~

#They're like Morticia & Gomez absolutely smitten for each other

#Jason brings a crying & beaten up GIW who has been stalking Danny

#Danny almost swooned

#They start flirting with each other while standing on top of the GIW dude

#Jason's goons are happy that their boss found 'The One' apparently but can they please stop eyefucking each other while they're there and-

~

Just an Idea

[formulaonecrumbs]

hi!! i’ve just like binge read all of your stuff and it’s so beautifully written

do you think you could do a charles fic with the co-parenting to lovers trope? like their kid helps them get together or like he flys out to see their kid and realizes that life is so much better with them? i have a whole like plot im sorry 😭

stay a little longer 🕯️

Charles Leclerc x ex(?)!reader

summary: co-parenting finally turns into something more when their daughter decides it’s time for a date.

warnings: co-parenting to lovers, kid matchmaker, suggestive content, kissing, car makeout, implied smut, love confessions, second chances

A/N: thank u anon for the requuessttt!!! i feel like i still don’t write charles very well 😭 like yes i believe the guy is romantic but i think i made that his whole personality in this WHOOPS. random but i love when drivers have girlfriends cuz now i got sm material for the mood-boards. i hope u enjoy it and as always love u ❤️

༻ ❤︎︎ ༺

you never expected him to show up.

not like this, not without warning, not with that soft look in his eyes and a suitcase in his hand.

it’s been almost six months since you saw charles leclerc in person. six months since he kissed your cheek at the airport and promised he’d try to visit more. six months of facetime calls with your daughter holding your phone too close to her face, grinning with her tiny teeth and telling him she lost another one. six months of you pretending that you were completely fine raising her mostly alone while he chased podiums around the world.

but now he’s standing on your porch like it’s nothing. like he’s not the father of your child and also the person who once broke your heart in the softest, most unintentional way.

“hi,” he says.

you blink. “charles? what—what are you doing here?”

he looks down at his shoes. he’s wearing sneakers that used to live in your hallway. the ones your daughter would trip over every time she tried to run to the door. “i had a week off. i wanted to see her.”

you let him in because you always do. because she misses him even when she doesn’t say it, and because you’ve never been able to fully close the door on him.

your daughter screams ‘daddy!’ the second she hears him. he drops his bag and catches her mid-run, spinning her around in the tiny living room you’ve made your home. you watch from the kitchen, hands still on the mug you were making, heart doing something stupid and warm and dangerous in your chest.

“you’re not leaving tonight, are you?” she asks him, small hands on his cheeks.

he shakes his head. “not tonight. not for a few days, actually.”

and you swear, you see her little face light up with something more than excitement. something like hope.

it’s not supposed to be easy, but it is.

charles fits back into your space like he never left. he sleeps on the couch and does the dishes after dinner. he drives her to school in the mornings and makes up silly songs about brushing her teeth. he folds laundry while you’re at work and lets her paint his nails on the weekends.

and you keep waiting for it to feel like a mistake. to feel like a tease, like you’re slipping back into something that already ended.

but instead, it feels like healing.

like late nights where he sits across from you, whispering stories about races she’s too young to hear. like laughing over wine after she’s gone to bed, both of you tipsy on nostalgia and something heavier. something that tastes like maybe.

he doesn’t flirt. not really. but sometimes, he looks at you like he remembers every moment you ever shared. and sometimes, when he thinks you’re not paying attention, he stares at you like you hung the stars.

it happens on a tuesday.

you’re rushing to get out the door for work. your daughter can’t find her other shoe and you’ve already yelled twice, which always makes you feel like a terrible mother. charles is standing in the kitchen, packing her lunch like he’s done it every morning for the past year instead of the last five days.

and then she says it.

“daddy, are you staying forever now?”

you freeze. so does he.

“because i think you should,” she continues, completely unaware of the tension she’s stirred up. “you make mommy laugh again. and you’re really good at pancakes.”

charles doesn’t look at you. he kneels down and kisses her forehead. “i love you, chérie,” he says quietly.

you don’t talk about it.

not until later, when she’s asleep and you’re both sitting on the back steps with a blanket around your shoulders and the sky full of stars.

“she wants us to be a family,” you whisper.

charles’s voice is soft. “i do too.”

your chest tightens. “charles…”

“i know,” he says. “i know i left. i know i haven’t been here like i should have. and i’m not trying to ask you to just forget it. but i want to be here now. not just for her. for you, too.”

you stare at your hands. your heart. the little cracks that never quite healed after he left.

“why now?” you ask.

he takes a breath. “because every time i see her smile, i see you. and every time i talk to her, i wish you were beside me. and because… i thought i was doing the right thing. giving you space. letting you live your life without the mess of mine. but i’ve never been more wrong.”

you look at him. really look. and he looks scared. vulnerable in a way he never is behind the wheel. and you realize, in this quiet moment under the stars, that maybe you’ve been scared too.

you don’t say anything. you just reach out, take his hand, and let your fingers intertwine like they never stopped knowing how to.

he moves in slowly.

a toothbrush at first. then a drawer. then he’s picking her up from school without you asking, buying groceries like he knows the list by heart. you fall back into love like it’s muscle memory. slow, steady, familiar. this time, without the fear.

your daughter starts calling you her “mommy and daddy house.” she draws pictures of the three of you holding hands, all smiling with the sun in the corner.

one night, she asks if you and daddy are married again.

charles chuckles. “not yet, chérie.”

you shoot him a look. “not funny.”

he leans in, his voice low against your ear. “it could be.”

and you feel it again—that dangerous, stupid hope that maybe this time, it’s real.

because he came back. because he stayed. because your little girl believed in love enough to put it back together. and because this time, you’re ready to believe in it too.

༻ ❤︎︎ ༺

she catches you holding his hand in the kitchen.

it’s not a big deal, really. just fingers brushing as you pass him the milk. but charles catches your pinky with his, gives it a gentle squeeze, and you smile in that way you only ever do with him.

your daughter sees it all from her seat at the table, eating cereal like it’s the most important meal of her life.

“are you guys in love again?” she asks, spoon halfway to her mouth.

charles pauses, milk almost spilling over the edge of his glass. “what?”

“you heard me,” she says, chewing dramatically.

you shoot charles a look. he shrugs, trying not to laugh.

“i think you are,” she continues, totally unfazed. “you look at each other like the people in mommy’s movies. and you sleep on the couch together sometimes. and daddy made you pancakes in a heart shape.”

you can’t even deny that one. he really did.

“okay,” she says, pushing her bowl away. “it’s time.”

“time for what?” you ask, even though you already know.

“you’re going on a date.”

charles raises an eyebrow. “we are?”

she nods. “yes. i’ll stay with mamie. and you two can go somewhere fancy. with candles and music. and then you’ll kiss.”

you laugh, shaking your head. “what is it with you and kissing lately?”

she grins. “uncle pierre says it’s how people fall in love.”

charles makes a face. “i’m going to block his number.”

you get ready while she helps charles pick out a shirt. you hear her scolding him for choosing the boring grey one and insisting he wears the one with the tiny flowers because “mommy likes when you look like a soft boy.”

you come out in a dress that hasn’t seen the light of day in years and charles just stands there, looking like he forgot how to breathe.

“wow,” he says softly. “you look…”

you raise a brow. “like a soft girl?”

he laughs. “like the girl i’ve been in love with since before i even knew it.”

you blink.

he smiles, nervous and sweet and very charles. “too much?”

“no,” you say, cheeks warm. “just enough.”

you drive to a little italian restaurant tucked away in the quieter part of town. it’s dimly lit, with fairy lights above the patio and old music playing inside. it’s romantic in a kind of unintentional way. the kind of place that doesn’t try too hard because it doesn’t need to.

charles pulls your chair out for you and keeps glancing across the table like he’s still trying to figure out if this is real.

“this feels weird,” you say, sipping your wine. “in a good way. but weird.”

he nods. “like we’re pretending we’re not already a family.”

you smile. “yeah.”

“but i want this too,” he adds, eyes soft. “the dating part. the butterflies.”

you meet his gaze. “you still get butterflies?”

he reaches across the table, lacing your fingers with his. “every time you look at me like this.”

and god, you feel it too. that flutter. that full-body warmth that only ever comes when you’re really, really falling.

after dinner, he takes your hand and suggests a walk. it’s chilly but not cold, and the stars are out like someone painted them just for tonight.

“this is the part where we kiss under the moonlight,” you joke, bumping your shoulder into his.

charles stops walking.

“what?” you ask, turning.

he steps closer. “i was waiting for the right moment.”

your breath catches. “is this it?”

he nods, eyes flicking to your mouth. “yeah. i think it is.”

and when he kisses you, it’s slow and soft and everything you’ve been missing for years. it’s full of promises and apologies and second chances. it tastes like wine and laughter and home.

you stay like that for a long time, under the stars and the streetlamp, kissing like you’re twenty and just discovering how good it feels to be wanted.

when you get home, the lights are low and the house is quiet. your daughter is asleep, curled up in her bed with her stuffed giraffe and the nightlight glowing faintly beside her.

charles shuts the door gently behind you.

you turn to him, heart racing, still a little breathless from the night.

“so…” you whisper.

he walks toward you, slow, eyes locked on yours. “so.”

“was this the part where we’re supposed to kiss again?”

he nods, grinning. “definitely.”

he backs you into the couch and kisses you until you’re both laughing and gasping and tangled in each other. his hands in your hair, your arms around his neck, the world spinning just slightly off its axis in the best way.

“we probably shouldn’t wake her,” you mumble against his mouth.

“then we’ll be quiet,” he whispers back, kissing down your neck.

you end up in the car—because it’s late and you can’t quite make it upstairs, and also because there’s something wildly thrilling about being wrapped around each other in the dark leather seats, trying not to fog up the windows too much.

his hands on your thighs, your lips tracing every freckle on his collarbone, his voice low and hoarse as he says your name like a prayer.

after, you sit in the front seat, legs curled into his lap, his hand resting gently on your bare knee.

“we should do this again,” you say, grinning against his shoulder.

charles kisses your temple. “i plan on it.”

and you believe him. completely.

because this time, he’s not just here for the night. this time, he’s here to stay.

THE END :>

[dixons-sunshine]

Be My Valentine | Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader

(GIF by @daryl-dixon-daydreams)

Summary: Encouraged by Carol to finally do something about his feelings for you, Daryl takes advantage of the supposed holiday of love to do it. Showing up at your doorstep with flowers might just be exactly what he needed to do.

Genre: Fluff.

Era: Alexandria.

Warnings: Swearing

Word count: 889.

A/N: Not the best, but I wanted to write a little something for Valentine’s day. I hope this is still somewhat enjoyable!

“Alright. I got this,” Daryl muttered to himself, his nerves at an all-time high. He nervously smoothed his shirt, clutching a handmade bouquet of wildflowers in his other hand—courtesy of the help of Carol. He stood in front of the door to the house you shared with Michonne, Rick and the kids, hesitating on whether or not he should do what he wanted to.

It had been a long time coming, really. Daryl had harboured feelings for you since as long as he could remember. However, he never had the courage to confess to you, not wanting to ruin the perfectly good friendship the two of you already had. But Carol had enough of the two of you “dancing around each other”. Valentine’s day was coming up, and she had deemed it the perfect day for Daryl to finally stop beating around the bush and ask you out.

Daryl had agreed, but only because if everything went wrong and you indeed didn’t feel the same, he could play it off as wanting to spend time with you as friends. That he just wanted to make you feel special on the holiday that couples seemed to adore.

Taking a deep breath, Daryl raised his fist to the door to knock against the wood. After three knocks, he took a step back and waited for you to come to the door. He knew that Rick and Michonne were out for the day, so at least he didn’t have to risk making a perfect fool out of himself in front of them. However, as the seconds ticked by, doubt washed over him. What if he was making a mistake? What if you didn’t want this? What if you hated him afterwards?

Daryl turned around, ready to walk away and throw the towel in on the idea. However, before he could even take one step, the door opened, and your sweet, angelic voice reached his ears.

“Daryl, hi!”

The archer turned around, his cerulean eyes locking with yours. He felt the air leave his lungs at the sight of you; wet hair, clad in a pair of shorts and a shirt that clung to you because of the water droplets, and that radiant smile he had come to love so much. Despite trying to talk, words fell short.

Your eyebrows etched together in concern. “Daryl? Are you okay?”

Daryl cleared his throat, forcing himself to focus. “Uh, yeah. Yeah, m’good,” he replied gruffly, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

You nodded and shifted your gaze down to the flowers in his hand. “Those are beautiful,” you told him. You could feel your heart beat faster against your ribcage, but you reminded yourself to be reasonable. Those flowers weren’t necessarily for you. They could be for someone else.

Clearing his throat again, Daryl tried to suppress his nerves. “Yeah. Carol helped pick ‘em out.” He slowly extended the bouquet towards you, averting your gaze. “Got ‘em for you.”

“Oh.” You smiled shyly and took the flowers from him, bringing them up to your nose to smell them. “Thank you.” So they were for you. That made your heart melt. “But why?”

Fuck, Daryl thought to himself. There was no turning back now. It was now or never. “’S, uh… s’Valentine’s Day tomorrow. I mean, I guess it is, if ya wanna believe the people who have been keepin’ track’a the days.”

“Yeah…” you trailed off, trying to suppress a smile. You didn’t want to get ahead of yourself, but you had a pretty good idea of where he was going with it.

He inhaled sharply, stuffing his shaking hands into the pockets of his jeans. “Was wonderin’ if you’d, y’know…” He shrugged his shoulders.

“If I’d what?” You knew. There was no doubt in your mind at this point about what he was going to ask you, and you couldn’t help but feel giddy at the thought of it.

Daryl swallowed and exhaled shakily. “Ain’t it obvious? Ya really gonna make me say it?” he asked, seeing the way your lips curled up into a playful smile. He had to fight off a smile of his own.

You laughed lightly and shook your head. “No.” You stepped forward and leaned towards him, pressing a soft, quick peck to his cheek. When you pulled away, you could see the blush that coated Daryl’s cheeks, and you smiled at that. “Yeah. I’d love to be your Valentine.”

Daryl ducked his head shyly, peering at you through his hair. “Y’sure?”

You laughed again and nodded. “I’m sure.” You fiddled with the bouquet in your hands. “What do you have planned?”

He hummed and took a step back, feeling butterflies swarm around in his stomach. “You don’t gotta worry ‘bout that. S’a surprise.”

“Well what should I wear, then?” you asked with a grin.

“It don’t really matter, but casual s’probably a safe bet,” he replied.

“Okay. I’ll be ready.”

Daryl nodded and took another step back. He felt happier than he has in a long time. He couldn’t believe you had said yes, that he could actually tell Carol to go ahead with helping him plan the perfect date. Things were finally looking up for him.

And he was going to make sure that he gave you the best Valentine’s Day he possibly could.

[geonwooz]

♡ START OVER AGAIN — HAE-JO / CHAE SEUNGHYEOK

hae-jo x fem!reader | wc : 0.8k words | content : possible grammar and spelling mistakes, lowercase intended, exes to lovers, swearing, hurt/comfort, mild angst | request : heyy!! i wanted to ask you, have you watched mr. plankton? and if so, can you write something on woo do hwan in it? i don’t mind if its angst or sad or anything!!

“you’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

you cursed lowly, breath hitching in your chest as your gaze met the pretty brown eyes of the man who dumped you after almost five years of dating.

hae-jo’s eyes widened as they fell on you, not having expected in a million years that you were the bride he was commissioned to kidnap from your own wedding.

you cursed your sister in your head, knowing she was the one who insisted on handling everything, assuring you she’d get you out of marrying a guy your father had chosen for you.

“are you just gonna stand there?” hae-jo tried to remain nonchalant, not wanting to show that the sight of you in a beautiful wedding dress was doing things to his heart, even though it had been three years since you guys broke up. “or are you going to get inside the car?”

i’ll just get in the car and get away from the wedding. you told yourself, trying not to focus on the fact that your ex-boyfriend was the one assisting you in running away from your own wedding. i’ll figure the rest out later.

you got into his car, the blue jeep you were overly familiar with, without another word, clicking the seatbelt into place as you closed your eyes momentarily.

hae-jo kept glancing at you as he drove away from the wedding venue, unable to tear his gaze away. how was it that you still looked so beautiful even after three years? the drive was a long one, and he wondered if he should make conversation.

“you look beautiful, y/n.” he confessed softly, the words tumbling out of his mouth before he could stop himself. “it’s a shame you won’t get married in that dress.”

you sighed quietly, your mind whirling with various thoughts. one moment he was nonchalant, and the next moment he was soft — it never failed to give you whiplash.

hae-jo knew why you were quiet, yet he still couldn’t stop himself from asking the questions that entered his mind. “why are you running away from your own wedding? i heard the guy’s rich. is he not your type?” he blabbered, his gaze shifting between you and the road.

“i’m not gonna marry some guy just because he’s rich, hae-jo.” the way you said his name was enough of an indication that he messed up. “i’m not some gold digger.”

“no, no. i didn’t mean it like that.” hae-jo intervened quickly, wincing as he realized you misunderstood him. “you know i didn’t, y/n. i know you aren’t like that. i just … i don’t know. i thought you’d have settled down by now. that’s all.”

you sighed softly, looking out of the window. “the guy i wanted to settle down with dumped me. what was i supposed to do then?” you blurted, never the one to keep your thoughts to yourself.

it was one of hae-jo's favorite traits about you; your honest bluntness.

“seriously? you never moved on? is that what you are saying?” hae-jo found himself stopping the car on the side of the road once they were far enough, turning to look at you. “you deserved better, y/n. you deserved better than me.”

 “i didn’t want better, hae-jo.” you met his gaze hesitantly, your heart beating faster when you looked into his eyes. “i wanted you.”

hae-jo felt like the air was knocked out of his lungs at your blunt confession. he couldn’t help but resonate with your words, feeling the same. he hadn’t moved on either, stuck on you even if it had been years since you two had broken up.

“do you, uh…” hae-jo spoke up quietly, averting his gaze from her nervously. “do you still, maybe perhaps, want me?”

you froze, blinking. you hadn’t heard him properly, right? there was no way that he was going to ask you to get back with him, right? you couldn’t help but feel a little bit excited, although you also felt a bit frustrated — after all, he was the one who left first.

you stared at him for a few moments. “do you really mean that?” you responded, your voice wavering slightly.

hae-jo contemplated his words before he nodded. it was a lot to think about, but as he saw you, no problem seemed too big to overcome. he knew he could get through anything if he had you by his side.

“yeah, i do. i want to start over again. with you.” he uttered with a soft yet confident smile. “what say, shall we start over again, y/n?”

you met his gaze, smiling as you listened to his words. starting over again. that sounded nice. as messy as it was, you figured that running away from your wedding day just to get back together with your ex-boyfriend might just be the change you needed in your life.

“i’d like that very much, hae-jo. i’d like to start over again too. with you.”

[greenwitchfromthewoods]

a team. l Joel Miller

before Jackson

Summary: you finally made it to Jackson

Warnings: angst, tears, Tommy and Maria, Ellie is here too, some swearing, guns, Joel is an asshole, some fluff at the end

A/N: @underneath-the-sky-again and I were talking about what happened when Reader and Joel got to Jackson. is this a good answer?

your feedback is very important to me and I thank you for all the reblogs, comments and likes. 🖤 sorry for all the mistakes

short stories from life. [masterlist]

"Joel! Ellie!"

When you were surrounded by people on horses, you were sure that this was the end for you. You were so close to Jackson that you couldn't believe that fate could be so capricious. You saw Joel grab Ellie by the arm, trying to pull her away, but escape was impossible. Not this time...

Suddenly, someone shouted your name. You raised your head and looked around. You knew this man. He was from Jackson. You were safe.

Joel never fully trusted anyone, not in these times. Even though you were talking to that guy who had just pointed a gun at you, Joel kept an eye on you the whole time. He wasn't convinced of your safety until he saw Tommy.

When the younger Miller's eyes landed on you, he beamed. "Good to see you! Thanks for bringing them here." he said, taking you in his arms and hugging you tightly "I was wondering when you'd show up."

"We bumped into each other a long way from here." you replied "I thought they could use a guide. Damn, I wouldn't have guessed you were brothers!"

"Yeah!" Tommy laughed, "I inherited all the personal charm."

"And the extroversion." you chuckled.

Tommy took you to a warm place and you were given a meal. You didn't want to disturb Joel and Tommy, so you sat down further away. It took you longer than you planned to get back to Jackson, but you finally made it here. However, your happiness was covered by a black cloud that told you one thing - it was time to part ways.

All you talked about was getting to this place, Joel found his brother, Ellie was safe, and you... You were going to be alone again.

"Are you coming with us?" Ellie called when Tommy and Maria wanted to show them the empty house they were going to stay in.

"I'm not sure." You replied.

Maria smiled at you, stroking her visible belly. "Your old room is free. You can stay there." You nodded, thanking her quietly.

Ellie frowned and looked at Joel. "She won't be living with us?" she asked.

"It's not up to me, kid." He replied, but you noticed that he threw a quick glance your way.

“But she belongs to us. We’ve been through so much together.” She walked over to you, grabbing your hand. “You’re coming with us. If need be, I’ll give you my bed.”

"Ellie..." You sighed, unable to hide your emotion. "I don't want to bother you. You and Joel were supposed to get to Jackson. We made it."

Maria looked from you to the girl, finally speaking. "Her room is really comfortable and warm. You'll see each other around town. Unless she runs away again."

Someone cleared their throat, and you all looked over at Joel. He had already put on his jacket and was standing by the door, clearly tired. “Ellie’s right, you should move in with us. If you want.”

"What do you mean? We've barely arrived and we're already leaving?" you looked at Joel not understanding a word.

You managed to sleep for a few hours and eat another meal. You took a bath and felt like a new person, and in the meantime Miller told you that he was going somewhere again. After coming back from Tommy's, he seemed more depressed to you, as if a great burden had fallen on his shoulders again. You, on the other hand, were confused.

"Ellie is important." he finally spoke.

You folded your arms across your chest. "Of course she is. But what does that have to do with her?"

"You won't understand."

"Then explain it to me!" you snorted. "If I have to go with you, I want to know."

Something in his gaze sent a cold shiver down your spine. You understood it without words. The decision had been made and you were not to be a part of it.

"You've got to be kidding..." you hissed.

"Just me and Ellie." Joel lowered his gaze, not ready to look you in the eye. You had done so much for her, risked so much, and now he was leaving you alone. For your safety, but he couldn't tell you about it. He couldn't tell you anything, even though he wanted to.

When he heard your voice again, it was trembling and full of suppressed emotions. "We're a team. We're in this together. All this way here, I..."

"It's always been just me and Ellie. You're staying."

It was like a slap in the face. He saw your eyes widen, glistening with tears. He knew you would give anything for Ellie, even your own life. He also knew that if he asked you to go with him, you would do it without hesitation. But you had to stay in Jackson. You were safer here than with them.

"Listen..." he started, but he saw you raise a hand, stopping him from saying anything else.

"You've said enough, Joel."

He hadn't felt as alone as he did at that moment in a long time.

The weeks dragged on incredibly. To occupy your time, you began patrolling the area, but your thoughts kept returning to Joel and Ellie.

Your farewell wasn't one of tenderness and joy. As you held Ellie in your arms, you begged her to come back to you safe and sound. She didn't understand why you couldn't go with them either, but Joel didn't explain much to anyone.

Joel. His furtive glances at you were full of pain and remorse, but you knew that didn’t mean he’d changed his mind. Even before he left, he heard your quiet voice, barely above a whisper. “Take care of yourself, Joel.”

“Will you be here when we get back?” he asked before he could stop himself.

That was what he feared most. That you would leave again, that you would disappear over the horizon and he would never see you again. How was it possible that he needed you so much?

"If you want me to be."

He nodded. He couldn't answer louder.

"You're still waiting for them. Do you think they'll come back?"

You looked at Stephen, who shifted in his saddle and reached for a canteen of water.

"I hope so." You replied.

"We're all waiting for someone, darling." You smiled and looked at the man.

"And what are you waiting for, Stephen?"

"Until my fucking leg stops hurting. I think it's going to rain, it always hurts like that when it rains."

You've been circling the area since morning, your patrol slowly coming to an end. One last look at the horizon, one last squint, because maybe you'll be able to see something more.

"Is that a fucking car?"

You turned around as if on command and saw it too. A car was slowly driving down the dirt road in your direction. You reached for your gun instinctively, the horses nervously pawing the ground with their hooves. Only when someone started waving at you from the passenger seat did you realize who it was.

"Ellie! It's them, Stephen!" you called out and hit the horse's sides with your heels, forcing it to gallop.

The car stopped and you jumped down, running towards it. Ellie almost fell out of the vehicle and threw herself into your arms. "Are you okay? Are you okay?" you asked, hugging her tightly, kissing her forehead and ruffling her hair.

"I'm okay! Hey!" she groaned, but giggled "I missed you so damn much!"

"I missed you too! Jesus, I was about to look for you myself." You pushed the girl to arms length and looked at her closely "Are you sure you're okay? Should I take you to the clinic?"

"Relax!" Ellie chuckled.

The slam of the door closing caught your attention. You recognized him immediately, although he seemed somehow changed, as if the burden he took with him from Jackson hadn't left him at all.

"Hi." Joel greeted you.

He didn't expect that. You let go of Ellie and after a moment you threw your arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. Hesitantly, but with relief, Joel embraced you, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck.

They were home.

☆☆☆☆

Thank you for your time.

taglist, i think: @picketniffler @orcasoul @bbyanarchist @o-sacra-virgo-laudes-tibi @somedayheaven @underneath-the-sky-again @callmebyyournick-name

[thehouseofurmotha]

In all honesty, I'm such a fan of the bakugo x aizawas daughter!reader series (if i can all it that)

I'm in NEED of new oneshots basically anything will do

AHH PLEASE TYSM @kitthefanfickat FOR REQUESTING THIS I LITERALLY LOVE ANY EXCUSE TO WRITE DADZAWA <33

Pt. 3 to loud blonde <3 (as for all of them could be read on its own as a standalone one shot.)

Pt. 1, pt. 2

Summery: y/n starts feeling really left out of her father's life, and her loud blonde boyfriend is there to comfort her and fix the pieces of her that have broken.

Warnings: swearing, angst, mommy issues!! Mentions of mental abuse snd neglect,

You loved your father, and you knew how much he did for you. But sometimes you couldn't help but feel left out of his life. Recently he's started spending the little free time he has training a kid in your general studies class.

Hitoshi Shinsou, you've talked to him on more than one occasion. You and him have a very similar personality, and in reality he kind of reminds you of your father. Which is why it makes sense that he took a liking to the kid. But fuck did you feel like shit.

You knew that your father loved you too, and that there wasn't anything that he wouldn't do for you. But you still, couldn't help but feel left out of his world. The world of being a hero, you suppose.

You've never once regretted your decision to not become a hero like your father. Maybe it was from your mother drilling it into your head as a child that hero's are bad, and you should never want to be one.

For the first 5 years of your life you were raised by a mother who simply did not care about you. Maybe she saw to much of your father in you to ever truly love you. She had left your father before you were born, as a child you fantasized about him coming to save you and take you away from your mother. But even as a child, you knew the chances were unlikely as the chances he knew you existed were very slim. Your mother would tell you that, all the time. She would constantly remind you that no one loved you, and nobody was coming to save you.

For a long time you couldn't come to terms with the truth that your mom was an awful person. You wanted to hate her but she was still your mother. No matter how much she neglected and manipulated you.

The day of your 5th birthday, your mother finally snapped. She hadn't been taking care of you in months, you were practically skin and bones. Your hair was in one huge mat.

As a child, most kids were excited for their birthdays. Not you, your birthday just reminded your mother more of 'mistake' she made by not getting rid of you. You woke up and made your way to the kitchen in hopes she would have made herself breakfast and you could steal whatever scraps ended up left.

You were lucky that morning that she did. Or so you thought, she had went to the couch to watch her show while she ate. And you saw this as the perfect opportunity to eat a little bit of the food she had left over, even if you couldn't have much it was better than nothing.

You quietly dragged a chair over to the stove and picked at the extra eggs and bacon lying in a pan. You thought your mother had been preoccupied, but she must have forgotten something, you didn't really know.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?" She screamed some how louder than she ever has at you before. You immediately burst into tears stuttering an apology over and over again.

"I was just so hungry mommy I'm so sorry- I- I won't do it again-" She looked at you with burning hatred as you begged for her forgiveness. You didn't understand what you had done to deserve this.

"Get the fuck out of my house." You sob even harder at this. You were just a kid where were you supposed to go.

"Mommy please-" you beg, you don't want to get kicked out. You just wanted her to love you.

"Get out. Now." She was unnaturally calm while saying this. You kept sobbing and sobbing as you stood on your tippy toes to reach the door handle. Suddenly you were no longer in that house, and surrounded by a cold uncaring world.

You don't know how, but you managed to make it to a police station. You knew that these people would help you. You just wanted to be saved, like the people your father helped. Why couldn't he help you.

You push the large doors open, not without struggle though. You see a pretty woman sitting at a desk in front of you with a kind smile.

"Hi honey, where are your parents?" Her comment makes the tears that had previously stopped come back even harder. No body had ever been that gentle with you.

"M-mommy kicked me out-" You sob and hiccup throughout the sentence and the lady gives you a look of pity. She quickly gets up from her desk and wraps you in her warm arms.

"You're safe now sweetie, you're safe." You shove your face into her chest and sob harder. Never having felt such loving touch. "Can you come with me honey? We just need to ask you some questions so we can figure out how to help you."

You look up at her and give her a small nod. You're brought back into an interrogation room, but the kind lady never leaves your side. She sits in the chair next to you asking if you need anything. She offers you a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

"don't know what that is.." It's hard for you to admit, you really didn't know what anything was. It was a miracle that you had learned how to talk at all.

"It's a very yummy food, and it'll help you feel better." She adds the second part after heading your stomach grumble. You not giving her approval, "I'll be right back honey." She says this as she walks out of the door leaving you alone.

You pull your knees to your chest. You were so scared, you just wanted your mom to love you.

You wake up from the nightmare, if you could even really call it that. It was nothing but the truth, the harsh reality you had to face that your mom had abandoned you.

You hazily make you way out of bed, tears gently falling from your eyes. You make your way straight to your father's bedroom, it's a Saturday so he should still be in bed asleep. But he's not and an overwhelming panic sets onto you. You go and search the rest of the house hoping that he just woke up early today.

As you're searching you find a letter on the kitchen counter, and it reads

'Hi hun,

Left to do some training with Shinsou, I'm not sure when I'll be home. But if you want me to pick up food or anything on the way home just text me. Have a great day.

Love, Dad'

The letter only manages to make you sob harder. You just wanted your father, and he was just with another kid. With this thought, you started to spiral. With the thoughts that your father's going to leave you, just like your mother did. Maybe you should have become a hero, maybe he'd like you better. You start thinking of all the things you could've done wrong, all the things that could make him hate you like she did.

Eventually you start to recognize that you are not in the state of mind to be alone. But texting your father asking him to come home now seems like the scariest thing ever. So you settle on the next best person.

As soon as you had just simply said please he knew something was wrong. You never invited him over without telling your father. You respected your father to much for that.

As to his promise, Katsuki arrived 15 minutes later. He pounded on the door until you opened it; you weren't sure if it was because he was worried, or this was something he would always do if you didn't wait outside for him. But today you simply didn't have the energy.

You walk over the door quietly unlocking it before sitting back on the couch. Your boyfriend obviously hears you unlock it cause he's bursting through the door a second later. He scans the room looking for you and as his eyes land on your disheveled body, with tears still running down your face.

He gently wraps you in his arms, holding you as close as he can. "Talk to me doll what's goin on?" He just wants to know how to help you. The softness in his voice seems to only make you sob harder.

"He- he's gonna leave me- he's gonna leave- I'm not good enough he's gonna leave-" This only left Katsuki with more questions. Who was 'he'? It couldn't be your father would it? What would he have done to make you feel like this, Katsuki thinks he may kill your father if it was him.

"Who baby? I need to know so I can help you, I just want to help you." He gently rubs your back, the soothing motion help you to start sobbing a little less. But in the moment Katsuki thinks that any progress is good progress.

"My- my dad- he's gonna- he's gonna leave me just like she did-" Katsuki's suspicions are confirmed with this. It was about your father, and he could only assume the she was your mother. He knew a little bit of what had happened. He knew that you didn't have contact with your mother, but that was pretty much the extent to what you had told him. He really didn't know what to do, so he texted the one person who might.

"You good sensei? You look even more miserable than normal." Shinsou and Aizawa have always had a sort of playful banter while sparring. And even though they're on a water break they normally keep it going. And when Shinsou noticed that Aizawa was staring at his phone with his brows creased, of course he was gonna do some teasing.

"Sorry to call it quits early, but I have to go kid. Something's going on with my daughter." Aizawa is really panicking internally, wondering what he could have done to upset you. He doesn't know, he thought you had been fine. But obviously not.

"Oh you're all good, I didn't know you had a daughter Sensei." Shinsou was a little taken aback by that comment. Never having heard about this mysterious girl.

"Yeah.. have a good day Shinsou I'll see you Monday morning before classes."

"Alright see you then sensei, thank you." And with that Aizawa gets in his car has fast as he can. Thoughts racing, he just wants to know what's wrong with his daughter. What he did, so he can fix it.

He doesn't want you to feel like he's going to leave you like your mother did. He never would. He definitely speeds a bit on the way back to your guys apartment but honestly, he doesn't care. He just wants to hold his daughter and tell her that everything will be okay.

He quickly arrives at your guys apartment, due to the fact that it's not very far U.A. He rushes up the stairs to get to get to your apartment.

As he opens the door, he's greeted with the sight of you sobbing into Bakugou's chest. The boy looks up at him with a puzzled look on his face. This tells Shouta that he's made no progress figuring out what sparked this.

Quickly he makes his way to you and picks you up out of Bakugou's lap. The boy goes to resist it but he just sends a glare at him and the boy takes the hint. Allowing him to carefully cradle you to his chest, the way he would when you were upset as a child. This action causes you to only sob harder.

"I'm not leaving hun, I'm not going anywhere's. I'm not leaving." He just keeps repeating that he's not leaving you. And this manages to get you calm enough to form semi coherent sentences.

"Msorry- I was just being dramatic- I'm sorry-" you mumble this out with your face shoved into his chest.

"Honey, if you're this upset it's not dramatic I promise. I need you to tell me what's wrong hun, please. Let me fix this." With a sigh he holds you closer, he just wants to make you feel better.

"I just- I had a dream- more a nightmare I guess- of um- the day my mom you know- kicked me out- and then you weren't here.. and you've been spending so much time out of the house. And I know your training Shinsou and he's a nice kid and would make a good hero- but I don't know- I feel like he's taken up the little bit of time that we would spend together- it's stupid but part of me thinks you like him better because he wants to become a hero and I don't.." Once it starts to come out you just couldn't stop. You had told him everything you had been feeling. He looks at you with a look that makes it impossible to tell how he feels.

"I'm so sorry, kid. I should've thought about you would feel about this, but I need you to know nothing you could do could ever make me love you less, or love someone else more. I need you to know that I'm not going to leave you, not ever. I will not abandon you like she did. I promise I'll make extra effort to hang out with you, I'll call out of patrol tonight. Me and you, as well as Bakugou if you would like, can all hang out and have a movie night. Or whatever you want to do, anything to make you feel better. I'm so sorry." You start to cry again, but this time more of relief than anything. You had finally gotten the reassurance from him that you needed.

"Also hun, I don't care about you not becoming a hero, all I want is for you to be happy and do something you love. And I know analysis is that thing."

"Thank you dad.. but you um- you don't have to call out tonight I'll be fine."

"Nah it's alright, I'll just get Hizashi to cover and he'll do it no complaints." This causes you to giggle, you truly do love your father and Hizashi's relationship.

"I love you dad." You say this with a smile on your face looking up at him.

"I love you too kid."

The two of you sit in silence for a while before you're the one who breaks it. "I think that I want to try and contact her.." You whisper this not knowing how your father will feel about this.

"If you think that's what you need to do, then I'll support you 100%." The reassurance that he's not upset at the idea is comforting.

You notice that at some point your boyfriend had left. You figured that he just went outside, to the benches at the front of the building. Because you know that Katsuki would never leave you with out saying bye.

You spend the rest of the night sitting between your two favorite people feeling more content than you had in a while. And even though there was anxiety about trying to talk to your mother, you know that they would get you through it. And that was all the comfort you needed.

Okay so I definitely meant to finish my Shinsou x reader one shot before I finished this, but I got a little carried away when I started- soooo! Anyways I hope you enjoy! Happy reading <3

[celestie0]

childhood friends to lovers with gojo.

warnings/tags. fluff & angst, sad ending

you two were five when he kisses ur cheek on the playground underneath the slide n you both thought that counted as a first kiss. u two were attached by the hip all throughout elementary school, i mean srs, your parents would even have joint parent teacher conferences bc there was just nothing the two of you wouldn't do together.

and then middle school came around, you joined the marching band n he joined the football team. he starts acting different around you, and it hurts. bc you two were best friends. you were always supposed to be best friends. he starts hanging out w the popular kids, and you find yourself walking home alone. summer before high school, he wants to hang out again, but you tell him you deserve better than that. and you two drift apart.

it's hard starting high school without him, watching him from afar during lunch in the cafeteria. he's with his table of phonies, acting like someone he's not, and you know because you've always known him. better than anyone else. you really wanna join the cheer team, since you've done gymnastics for a long time, but you've always been too afraid to tryout for the team. this time, you do, and you get in. now all of a sudden he wants to talk to you again, now that you're popular in high school and have earned a place on the field during his games. fuck that, you say to him, you threw away what we had just because i wasn't good enough for you to have by your side. you start dating his teammate, you two are nominated for prom queen & king, and he has to watch as you kiss someone else on stage when you win. someone that should've been him. he starts dating the cheer captain, just to show it off when he comes running to her after a winning game, kissing her right in front of you but he's not looking at her, he's looking at you. to make sure you're watching. and you do the same thing to him. and the whole time you two are wondering what are we doing to one another?

summer after high school, he shows up to your doorstep one day on his skateboard. with a box full of all the letters you used to send him as a kid. you still have yours too, somewhere tucked underneath your bed. you spend the whole afternoon laughing with him as you read through them all, laying on the carpet of your living room, and you both feel like kids again. he hovers over you when he kisses you, but you're still mad at him, and to show him how mad you are, you kiss him back. it's no use, you two are going to different colleges, you'll hardly see him, but he swears he'll call. he swears he'll fly to see you. he swears he'll never makes the same mistakes again, because he wants you. and only you. you kiss his cheek, and say okay.

and he does. he does everything he promises you. but the distance is too hard, and he was a little too late. you break up with him over a twenty-one character text sent while you're drunk at a house party your second semester at university, and he just doesn't understand. he'll never understand. and he never sees you again.

until you're both thirty-two, standing in line at the grocery store. he taps your shoulder, you turn around, you wonder if it's a stranger who wants a favor, and you realize he's so much more than that. he's the little boy that kissed your cheek underneath the slide when you were five. your first kiss. except it wasn't, was it? his face is long, and his cheeks have lost plush, but he looks so handsome it makes your heart skip a beat. you two are pleasant, exchanging it's been so long! and you look great! but when his eyes catch the twinkle of the wedding ring on your finger, his smile drops ever so slightly, and when he scratches his cheek to hide the sadness, you notice a band on his finger too. and he pays for your groceries, just to be kind. and you thank him for it, just to be kind. and you go your separate ways, never to speak again. but there's a box that still sits somewhere in your closet. and a similar one still sits in his too.

[sleepycheriee]

headcannons about dating tashi duncan?? pleeeeeaaaseee??

preferably wuh luh wuh but does NOT have to be

OLDER!TASHI HEADCANNONS .ᐟ

a/n: I was thinking of making tashi headcannons, BUT it was older gf!tashi x bimbo intern!reader, so this the headcannons for them! a little backstory: tashi divorces art (they have shared custody), but now shes focused on lily and, the duncan girls foundation. where she hires her latest intern: you.

oldergf!tashi who never planned on getting involved with anyone after her divorce. between raising lily and running the duncan girls foundation, she barely has time to breathe—let alone deal with the wide-eyed, slightly clueless new intern who seems to be glued to her side.

oldergf!tashi who watches you struggle with the office printer for the third time that week, arms crossed, head tilted, amused despite herself. “sweetheart, it’s not that hard.” and yet, she’s already stepping in, pressing buttons for you, standing too close.

oldergf!tashi who sighs dramatically whenever you make a silly mistake but never actually gets mad. she just pinches the bridge of her nose, muttering about how “this foundation is supposed to help young girls, not hire them.” but she still fixes whatever mess you made.

oldergf!tashi who tells herself she’s too old, too tired, too serious for someone like you, but you don’t make it easy. not when you look at her like that. not when you call her “miss duncan” in that sweet voice of yours, voice dripping with something that makes her grip her pen just a little too tight.

oldergf!tashi who finally breaks when you show up to a foundation gala in a dress that’s just a little too short, practically begging for her attention. “oh, you want my eyes on you, huh?” she murmurs, voice low, sending a slow glance down your body. “congratulations, sweetheart. you’ve got them.”

oldergf!tashi who swears she’s just indulging you, that this is nothing serious—but somehow, you keep ending up in her office, sitting on her desk with that pretty pout, distracting her with questions you could’ve easily asked someone else.

oldergf!tashi who acts unbothered when lily starts calling you “miss intern” and asking when you’re coming over for dinner again. but later that night, when you’re curled up against her, she hums, “what’d you do to my kid, huh? she’s obsessed with you.”

oldergf!tashi who loves to act like you’re the needy one, always hanging around her office, always looking for excuses to talk to her—but it’s her hand that finds your waist when no one’s looking, her lips that linger near your ear when she corrects your work.

oldergf!tashi who lets you sit in her lap when you pout about “working too hard,” rolling her eyes but rubbing slow circles into your back anyway.

oldergf!tashi who never expected to fall, who told herself this was nothing—but suddenly, she can’t imagine a single day without your wide-eyed chaos softening the sharp edges of her world.

taglist .ᐟ @lexiiscorect

[reiderwriter]

Margaritas and Mistakes

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female Reader

Genre: Fluff, suggestive, smut coming in the next part (it's already written it just felt best to post them separately lmao).

Warnings: Suggestive language, dirty talk, some heavy petting and mention of sexual arousal. 18+ MINORS DNI

Summary: On a group night out, you get a little more drunk than you want to, and when Spencer shows up looking like the love of your life and not just your coworker, you realise that the margarita’s are having more of an effect than they should be.

A/N: Welcome back, it's my week off currently so I've been writing a copious amount of smut, so please enjoy this 3.6k word build up to more smut coming soon. Requests are still open, and you can find my masterlist here!

PART TWO!

You truly made all of your worst decisions when under the influence of alcohol. You blamed it on the fact that you really didn’t get the chance to go out all that often now that you were a full time member of the BAU Team. But the job was sometimes rewarding, and considering you’d been working on consultations all week and not a full time case, you were really looking forward to stretching your legs this friday night and getting some much needed relaxation in before you had to stare evil in the eye one more time.

“Girls’ Night Out! No male detectives, partners, Special Supervisory Agents, Unit Chiefs, OR Doctors!” Penelope cheered as you arrived at her apartment that night prior to your eventful outing.

“God I needed this,” Emily sighed, taking a sip of her drink. “I can’t remember the last time I got to kick back with a glass of chardonnay.”

“You sent me a picture of your drink two days ago, and it didn’t exactly look like water,” JJ laughed.

“Ah you see, my dear JJ, that wasn’t kicking back. That was therapy.”

“Honestly, though, it’s going to be good to get out of the house. I swear, the only places I’ve been for the last month have been my apartment and work,” you sigh, downing the last of the drink Penelope had handed you on the way in.

“What happened to that guy you were seeing, Y/N? Was he that bad?”

“Don’t even mention it. He took me back to his place and he didn’t even have a mattress on the floor, wanted us to do it on his couch,” you groan. “The couch that was also housing all of his laundry. And I’m not positive it was even clean laundry.”

You really had been having the absolute worst luck with men recently; other than your aforementioned tinder date, the only men who had shown any interest in you being serial killers who wanted to murder you and married cops looking to fool around with an FBI agent. Not the most auspicious of dating pools.

“Okay, operation get Y/N laid is a go. Ladies, your jobs tonight, should you choose to accept it, is to become the best wing-women this town has ever seen!” Penelope joked, and you found yourself giggling at just the idea, thankful that they were taking the time to try to cheer you up.

“Oh I’m all in. I’m warning you now, Y/N, my wing-woman success rate is pretty high. I’ve helped multiple couples achieve not only orgasm, but also marriage and kids.” Emily boasted.

“Emily, next time you might want to think about the wording of that one,” JJ laughed. “But I’m in too, you could use a little unwinding.”

“Not you too, JJ. You were supposed to be our voice of reason tonight.” You giggle into your cup, feeling the effect of your starter alcohol already.

“Nope. We’re having no responsible adults in our midst tonight. That’s why I’ve already arranged for our favourite Doctor to come and pick us up when the last of us falls tonight. He’s at a screening of some Indie Russian flick until 2am which is probably about perfect for our plans.”

This is the first you’ve heard of Penelope’s plans, but you’re not against it. With a solid escape route, you can let loose as much as you want tonight and know that all of your friends are fully able to have as much fun as possible tonight.

“Well, that’s the plan for us, sweetcheeks. Maybe you’ll get lucky.” Penelope winked at you with a nefariously innocent look on her face. And suddenly you weren’t quite as sure you trusted her…

–X–

After your first margarita at the bar you were still feeling fine. Sure, you were talking a lot louder than you usually did, and if you saw yourself in the mirror you’d probably start giggling instantly at the stupid, semi-permanent grin on your face, but you were feeling so relaxed that it was of no consequence.

You’d moved swiftly from Penelope’s apartment to the nearest downtown bar. It looked pretty seedy to you, and the lighting was so low you could barely make out the faces of your friends in their seats at the same table as you, but you were sure some of that was just the alcohol blurring your vision.

Your hearing though was still in top shape, which was why when Penelope asked her next question, you almost spit the drink out of your mouth, rushing to laugh.

“Okay, fuck, marry, kill, Hotch, Morgan, Reid.” She giggled as she posed the question to her teammates.

“Oh come on now, that’s not fair.” Emily laughed at the question posed.

“You’re right, I don’t know a woman alive that doesn’t want a ride on my chocolate thunder.” Penelope let out a faux dreamy sigh and took another swig of her drink.

“And marrying Reid just seems wrong. He’s like our brother at this point.” JJ points out, just shuddering at the thought.

“So we’re all in agreement? Fuck Morgan, marry Hotch and lovingly bury Reid six foot under?” Emily laughs and the other two nod.

“Nope,” is all you manage to get out before going for another large gulp of your drink.

“Well, well, well, Y/N what would you be doing differently?” Emily snaps her head around to look at you, eager for the juicy details.

“None of you are curious what the doctor is packing?” You reply, almost innocently, unaware of the many plots culminating in the minds of your friends at that very second.

“Not at all. “Nope.” “That’s pretty gross, actually.” They all seem to reply at once, but Penelope pushes another drink into your hand as soon as you’re done and gets ready to launch a counter-attack.

“Are you curious about it?” She leaves it at that, and if you weren’t so drunk, you’d have seen them all lean into you, desperate for your answer and ready to hang off of your every word. "Do you think about you and him… You know?"

“Every night,” you sigh dreamily. And you’re telling the truth. In the recent months, you’d found yourself waking up a little hot and bothered after some rather steamy midnight encounters with the Good Doctor. You’d become close to him over the few months you’d worked with him as a member of the team, but it wasn’t like you’d had a crush on him or anything. It was more like your body had an unconscious appreciation of his body. Or at least for certain parts of his body.

“His fingers are really nice, you know. And they’re big, too. Just makes a girl curious, s’all.” You down the proffered drink, hiding your remaining shame behind the glass.

“No, no, no babycakes, we’re gonna need more details than that if you’re gonna claim that you want to fuck Reid more than Morgan.” Penelope insisted, more forceful now than before.

“And what exactly does every night mean, Y/N? Something you should be telling us?” JJ wiggled her eyebrows at you and you lost it for a few seconds having a giggling fit.

“Okay, okay, it’s just… You’ve seen how he looks, right? And there was that one case three weeks back. He confronted that accomplice, and when he was about to bolt he slammed him against the wall and held him there like he’d barely broken a sweat. And you know how it is, we see Morgan kicking down doors on the daily, so I thought I wouldn’t be that interested in feats of physical strength, but my only thought in that moment was that I’d rather like him to slam…me…against that …wall.” You slowed down your speech at the end, looking up to see what looked to you like the grinning faces of three wolves staring down at their prey.

“And now I need another drink, anyone up for another round?” You squeaked out, changing the topic before any of the others could make their own comments.

–X–

Your second round of margarita’s was probably where things went irreversibly wrong for you. You’d returned to the table with two rounds of shots for all, having queued up four songs on the ancient jukebox you’d seen in the corner, hoping to entice the girls away from conversation, and it had worked.

After you’d bought the first two rounds, JJ had bought you another, and then Emily had splurged on another three, and then Garcia had rounded the hour out with one more shot, this time with sparklers attached.

So by the time you got back to your table and took a much needed swig of a drink that didn’t have to go down all at once, you were feeling well past drunk, to say the least.

But with the free-flowing alcohol came the lack of inhibition, so you really didn’t care. True to their word, the girls had been doing their best to convince you to dance with some of the guys in the bar since you’d gotten up, but truthfully none of them had enticed you.

But now, the night was running out, and the alcohol had you a bit hot and bothered, so when you felt a nice, hard body press up gently against yours, you decided to take advantage of the situation. Without looking back, you wrapped your hand around the one of his that had grazed your hips and held in there, moving your hips back and forth and beginning to grind back into your mystery man.

He was a little bit still at first, but eventually began making some slow movements along with you, and you could see the others cheering for you from a distance, Emily especially whooping from her perch at the bar.

You felt the voice lean down to your ear after a minute or so, and you tilted your neck up to hear the tall man a little better.

“What are you doing, Y/N?” He whispered against your skin, still letting him guide you through the music. Had you been sober, you’d have realised the voice was more than familiar, especially since he’d said your name, but you were not, and so you did not.

“Well, if you’re lucky, tonight I’ll be doing you?” you giggled back, looking up at the man quickly. But with the hazy lights of the bar and the copious amount of alcohol you’ve ingested, you don’t catch a good enough glimpse of the man to realise he’s your coworker.

“I think you’ve had enough to drink,” he says, when you start to pull him towards the bar, his grip on your hips tightening, accidentally pressing you back into what you expect to be his semi-erect cock, straining against your clothing.

“Oh, what, wanna take me home right now? That’s okay with me, mister.” You giggle, grinding back into him more intentionally this time. You grip his hand and try to force it up to touch more of you, utterly carefree about throwing yourself on what you presume to be a stranger in the middle of a bar.

Before you manage to, however, he lets out a frustrated groan and turns you around by your hips, forcing you to look him in the eye for a little bit longer, and all of your senses finally start working once again.

“Yes, Y/N, we’re going now. Penelope called me 15 minutes ago and said you were ready for that ride home and I can see now that she was right,” Reid leant down so you could hear him enough, but your brain was short circuiting.

You’d been grinding on your coworker. The one that had been the cause of so much of your sexual frustration for the past god knows how long. Spencer was right in front of you, and he hadn’t loosened his grip on you that much. Spencer was right in front of you and his erection was poking into you.

Really, your following actions shouldn’t be held against you in the slightest given the situation.

“Are you going to take me home, Doctor? Lay me down in bed and get me nice and comfortable?” you giggled up at the man, now enjoying the way your insinuations were making him blush.

“Y/N, you’re not being fair. We need to get the others and go,” he shot back, irritation dripping from his tone.

“Oh I’m sorry, am I being a bad girl?”

“You’re certainly being very difficult- what are you doing?” He jolted as you moved your hands to his fair, beginning to play with the curls at the nape of his neck.

“It’s softer than I imagined it would be,” you giggled again, pressing yourself forward to press a kiss against his neck.

“Okay, we need to get you home,” he panicked, grabbing both of your hands, pressing them against your sides, spinning you around and walking you back towards the other girls.

“Hello Spencer~” the girls all giggled as you approached. You struggled against his grip a little, but he kept you firmly in place, man-handling you slightly, and you practically melted into his touch.

“Who let Y/N drink this much? Don’t answer that, you’ve all been drinking the same amount, right?” He left out a frustrated breath, and ran one hand through his hair. You attempted to move again, but he’d practically pinned you to the table. Your hips were pressed into the edge of it, his hips pressed against you, forcing you up against the table in a way that should have been uncomfortable. His other hand was resting near your discarded glass, caging you in almost entirely.

“Cars out front, lets go,” he said, his jaw twitching with anger now.

“No need, lover boy, taxis are coming to pick myself, Penelope and JJ up as we speak,” Emily slurred the words, but got the idea across well enough. “You’ll just be needing to take this little kitten home and you’re done for the night.”

They were all giggling now, as you let out a childlike yay, your excitement evident on your face.

“We’ll wait and see you all off together at least, so outside now. She needs some fresh air or something,” he was practically talking to a wall at that point, but after a few repetitions, the women acquiesced and moved outside.

“Ooh, that’s my taxi, gotta go,” Garcia practically runs from you the moment you step outside, and you wave at her whilst wrapped around one of Reid’s arms, stumbling with each step.

“Use protection my sweet babies,” she shouts as she slams the car door just as her car drives away, leaving a spluttering Spencer unable to respond that he’s not touching you tonight while you’re in this state.

The taxis for Emily and JJ arrive swiftly as well, and the two soon depart with similar messages and soon you find yourself alone with Spencer once again.

“So, your place or mine,” you smirk, looking up at him and batting your eyelashes in the sweetest way you can manage.

“You’re drunk, Y/N, you don’t know what you’re saying.”

“Drunk I may be, Doctor, but I absolutely know what I’m saying. I’m saying I want you to shove me against a wall and finger fuck me until I don’t know how to walk anymore.”

“Goddamnit, Y/N, someone’s gonna hear you.”

“Oh you want me to be quiet? If you take my panties off and push them into my mouth maybe you could shut me up for a few minutes.”

“Get in the car, now.” You stick your tongue out at him, but hop into the passenger seat. He slams the door in your face and takes a few deep breaths before moving around and getting in himself.

–X–

Despite having the window open the entire car journey, hoping that the fresh air will do you some good, you’re still on top form when Spencer pulls up to your apartment.

“I didn’t even give you my address,” you pouted, as you tried, unsuccessfully, to remove your seatbelt.

“I memorised your file, now let’s get you into bed,” he unclasps it for you, and you use the close proximity to drop a kiss on his cheek.

“Only if you get into bed with me, hot stuff,” you wink at him and make for the door. “You know, you’re going to remember everything I said in the morning, right?” You asked him.

“Unfortunately, yes,” he muttered under his breath as he caught you just as you were about to teeter into the hedge on the shared green space. You wrapped your arms around his neck for the second time that night and stopped him in his tracks. Looking deep into his eyes, you took one of your hands and traced it gently over the side of his face and down his neck, your eyes following your fingers. He gulped involuntarily when you hit his adams apple, and you snapped your eyes back to him.

“Chances are that I’m probably not going to remember any of this, right?” You smiled up at him.

“Alcohol induced memory blackouts tend to occur in binge-drinkers whose alcohol levels have hit at least 0.16%, and further studies show that 50% of adults will experience some kind of alcohol-related memory loss in their lives, so yes, I’d say you’re probably not going to remember any of this.” He shot back, almost entirely still in anticipation of your next move.

“Good, then I might as well enjoy the moment while it lasts right.” As soon as the words were out of your mouth, your lips crashed into his, and after a beat, his reciprocated, moving over yours just as hungrily. He moved now, walking you back to your door, lips still locked in a ferocious battle for dominance, until he pinched your arm slightly. You gasped a little, ready to pull back and complain about the pain, but suddenly his tongue was in your mouth and you were back at it all over again. He tapped your legs, signalling that he wanted you to jump into his arms, and you did, wrapping your legs around his centre tightly as he finished making his way to your apartment door.

Pulling away for the briefest of moments, he pulled your keys from your back pocket, and made quick work of your door.

“Bedroom, now Spencer, please I need you,” you whimpered in his arms, pressing kisses against his jaw and neck. Unfortunately, he had other ideas.

“No. We are going to the bathroom, where you’re going to wash your makeup off, brush your teeth and change your clothes, and then you are going to get in bed and sleep.” He unceremoniously dropped you at the door of your bathroom, and you slid to the ground.

Pouting up at him, you felt the tears well in your eyes.

“No! I don’t want to go to bed yet,” you sounded like a petulant child and Spencer cursed a little under his breath when he looked down at you.

“Y/N listen to me very clearly, you’re not thinking straight. You’re way past the legal limit, you can’t consent to any of this and I’m not going to sleep with you and then have you forget it in twelve hours.” His tone was harsh, but you listened to him.

Picking yourself up off the floor, you followed his instructions and got yourself ready for bed.

“Okay, I’m all done now, Doctor,” you grumbled once you were done. You half expected him to have left you there, choosing to retreat whilst you cleaned yourself up, knowing that he’d already done what was asked of him by getting you home. But he was still there perched on your bed, and you made one last attempt to get what you wanted.

As he made his way to stand up, you used the last of your strength to push him back down again and climbed into his lap. This time though, you made no attempt to take anything further, just wrapping your arms and legs around him and burrowing into his shoulder. You had to admit, you were getting particularly sleepy now.

You let out a small yawn and burrowed further into his neck just as he opened his mouth.

“Y/N, please, what are you doing?” He sounded tired now, but didn’t attempt to push you off again.

“You said I was probably not going to remember this in the morning. That’s not going to fly with me. So you’re gonna sleep here with me and tell me everything I forgot in the morning.” You informed him.

He scoffed at you, but you could hear the smile in his voice when he replied.

“So you want me to just sleep here next to you? No pushing you against a wall? No panties in your mouth?”

“Nope. Like you said, ‘s getting pretty late and it’s been a long week, so it's probably for the best if we…” You tried to finish but your tongue was so heavy in your mouth that you just couldn’t use it anymore. You felt the warm rumble of his answering laugh of disbelief as he manoeuvred the two of you under the covers, taking the time to kick off his shoes and remove his coat and shirt.

“Sleep well, Y/N, because when you wake up I’m going to make you feel all of the torment you’ve put me through tonight tenfold.”

And he held you there against his chest as both of you fell deeper and deeper into your slumber.

PART TWO

[alessiathepirate]

Cobra Kai

TWO CAN PLAY THE GAME: Terry Silver x fem!reader

Summary: She knew him from '85. She knew how he functioned, how he was thinking. She'd beat him with his own technique - she was sure of it.

Notes: English isn't my first language. I apologize for any mistakes I may have made while I wrote this short story.

Warnings: swearing

●●●

A man can't stand, he can't fight.

A man can't breathe, he can't fight.

A man can't see, he can't fight.

She was watching the fight between Eli and Kenny play out as she continued to think about those rules, repeating them like a mantra. Her nails were digging into her upper arms through the material of her shirt as she tried to calm herself down.

You did what you could, she told herself. Even if you had to do that behind the true senseis' backs.

Daniel would've never let her do that - the same with Chozen, even if he had a slightly different view on karate. And Johnny... well, if she does it with him and Daniel figures it out, it would've lead to another fight between the two. And she really didn't want that to happen.

Besides, the kids came to her for help - since hiding the fact that she had something going on with Silver in '85 was hard to do, especially with teens around like Sam LaRusso. They were curious to know what had happened in the 80s - but they were more interested in how they should fight and win.

She didn't want them to get hurt, or worse: to be disappointed with themselves.

Damn it, they were her fucking kids and she was going to help them one way or another.

So she had taught them a thing or two about Terry Silver, and what kind of methods he may have taught for those mislead, Cobra Kai-obsessed kids after he took over.

It was only fair, she had told herself so it would feel less like a betrayal - a very dangerous one. Since Robby told them everything about their defence.

"The Quicksilver method has three rules: A man can't stand, he can't fight. A man can't breathe, he can't fight. A man can't see, he can't fight." she had told them after they met up in the park after it got dark.

"Did he really name it after himself?"

She had just laughed and nodded. "He's full of ego and he's an asshole, what can I say... However, what matters is that you know the right defence! They will go after three key points: feet, chest, eyes. These are also the areas you'll look out for the most. Is that understood?"

She grinned as Eli jumped back just in time to get away from Kenny's fist, which went straight for his chest. Then, he went for his feet and his eyes.

"The technique he wanted to use is simple: get a point from a hit on the head but go for the nose. He won't be able to see from the tears." she had explained as she showed Eli where to hit. "This is a dirty move, sure. But it's not against the rules and if they want to fight dirty, then you gotta be ready to protect yourselves and each other."

"Point, Moskowitz!"

Daniel looked at her from the corner of his eyes, but she didn't care. She just gave Eli a proud nod and continued to look at Terry who seemed to slowly catch on.

One rule of the Quicksilver not working? It could be a coincidence. Eli could be too good. But using two rules of it on the enemy while she's around? That's planned. It's a personal attack.

Terry looked at her from the other side of the dojo and clenched his jaw. She just smiled.

Two can play this game...

She sometimes wondered if she really hated him that much - there were times when it wasn't too obvious... Then she remembered how he played around with her before he disappeared, how he completely broke down a fucking teen she was supposed to be looking out for...

He broke her fucking heart.

Terry Silver can go and rot in the hole he climbed out from with Kreese's help.

"Is everything alright, sensei?"

She looked at Sam, who gave her a knowing smile.

"I'm not a sensei."

"That's not true."

She just chuckled. "He seemed to catch on."

Sam looked at Silver, then back at her. "I still don't understand what you had seen in him."

She made sure Daniel was out of earshot before answering: "You should've seen him in the 80s." after a shared chuckle she gave the girl a gentle hit on the shoulder. "It doesn't matter. Just concentrate, okay? Use what your dad and Johnny taught you, but remember how they like to play..."

His stare was burning her from the inside out after Sam left and Eli's match continued.

And as his fingers clenched into a fist, as the muscles around his mouth and eyes hardened, he looked like the old him. The Terry Silver she had met in the 80s, who had managed to make her fall for him, who had managed to make her open up and finally be honest with somebody...

He had taken her to the dojo, he had taught her a thing or two and didn't ask for a price...

And it was a fake, all of it. The gentle touches, the dates... He was a liar, a con-man, a damn psycho and a rich asshole.

She didn't want to talk to him after the truth came out and after the All Valley he disappeared for decades.

What a shame that he was still good looking...

Eli seemed to be doing just fine. Awesome, to be honest. The kid understood the assignment and soon there was no man - no matter how much Terry paid him - who wouldn't have given him the last point... That kick was beautiful, perfect and it pissed Terry off even more.

"Point! Winner: Moskowitz!"

She clapped and pride made her chest feel full.

She smiled at Terry; her grin showing him all of her teeth. That was the last nail in the coffin - grinning like he did when he sent Mike after Daniel.

Sam's match was up and she stood tall from the confidence she had gained.

Even if Daniel was eyeing her suspiciously, even if Terry seemed ready to kill her, she stood her ground.

Her kids needed the damn support after all.

●●●

"It's good to know that our lessons weren't for nothing."

She felt the chill run through her whole body as she heard his voice, this time speaking directly to her.

She hated how intense of a reaction he could still get out of her, after all those years. But then again, Terry was one in a million. No one could make her feel the way he did.

Amanda always joked about how she very cleverly chose to be single; and Daniel liked to join in to say that he had never ever seen her in love before. Well, maybe he was just too blind and too young to see it.

"Oh please, we both know you always leave a lasting impression."

She turned around to look up at him, eye to eye ever since '85. He still had the same damn look in his eyes and she had to make herself remember to not be naïve.

Terry caught her first.

After the success of both Sam and Eli - and after it was announced that both dojos would participate at the Sekai Taikai (Johnny almost blew up from frustration) - Daniel tried to talk to her in private, but Johnny was faster. He just left to try the juice bar - because "if this son of a bitch with the pony tail got what he wanted, we can at least use his juice bar" - when Terry proved that he was faster than Daniel.

"And you fucking like it." she finished as she continued to look him in the eyes.

She felt Sam's eyes on her, but the girl thankfully did nothing to intervene.

"Don't talk to Silver. Don't even look at him if you don't have to." she had told them. "That's how he functions. He consumes information and he uses it against you. He sees an opportunity, he uses it for his gain."

"If I want to be honest I always knew you'd have the guts to use what I taught you - unlike LaRusso." his lips curled upwards into a smile. "Speaking of LaRusso; what did he say when you taught my method to his students?" he stayed quiet for a second so the question could sink in. "He knew about it, didn't he?"

She just chuckled.

"Get out of my head, Terry." she just said simply, not giving in to his game. "You can't play with me anymore when I know your game too well."

"That's why I like you."

She wanted to burn the damn butterflies in her stomach.

"Although I have to say I never would've thought that you'd care this much about karate. Or the Sekai Taikai."

"Believe me, I couldn't care less about karate or the Sekai Taikai or this 'who will win in the end fight' between you and Daniel..." she explained as Sam LaRusso continued to stare a hole into the side of her head. "But those kids deserved a damn chance against you."

Terry tilted his head, his lips formed a smile so wide she could see his teeth. His shoulders fell back and he seemed even taller when his eyes were shining that way: full of excitement. Through all that interest he seemed hurt - as if she just insulted his whole being. He seemed almost offended.

"Are you lying to me or are you lying to yourself?"

"Don't give him a damn opportunity!" she had told the kids as if it would be the most important rule. "Don't feed him information! Don't pique his interest!"

"Excuse me?"

"Who are you lying to?" he asked again as he leaned closer. "Because you are lying. You're not doing this for the kids. I mean you do care about them, I can believe that, but this isn't about them, is it?"

The frustration she couldn't hide seemed to entertain him a lot.

Then she took a deep breath. Don't let him win.

"In this case, we are both liars, aren't we?" Terry stayed quiet; waiting, listening. "Are you sure this is only about you and that dream of yours? Nothing to do with Daniel or '85, right?"

He seemed to like the challenge, and God damn her, she liked it too. She liked the unsaid, hidden threat what always lingered around when Terry was close by. And he liked her fight - she knew he did. If he didn't, she'd already be on the ground with a black eye or six feet under.

"Are you sure you want to talk about grudges?"

She just shrugged. "It's always great to remember the past, isn't it? So we don't make the same mistake twice."

"Mistakes?" he asked with a chuckle. "It depends on the point of view."

She raised an eyebrow.

"Don't let him play you. If you talk to him, he'll try, for sure. He'll give you something: a story, some info. Something you'd be interested in so he could reel you in and keep you where he wants you to be. But don't let that happen!"

"Really?"

"You don't agree?"

She bit her lower lip.

The bait was out, the trap was set. She shouldn't fall for it. She can't.

She learned long ago that she'd never know why he does the things he does, but she could understand how he thinks and what he uses to get what he wants.

She was a better player now, but was she strong enough?

She swallowed her curiousity.

Grudges. She still had hers. She nursed it for years and it became unbearable when he appeared again out of thin air.

But the past stays in the past. She learned from it, didn't she? She wouldn't make the same mistake again.

Instead of asking what she wanted to - Why Terry? Why did you date me? Why did you teach me? What did it mean to you at all? What did I mean at all? - she just chuckled.

"It's good to know the old you is back, Terry." she said with a smile. "I almost started to worry when I first saw you - I thought you weren't the same man. Good to know I was wrong. 'This' you? I can handle."

The conversation was over. She wanted it to be over so it would be.

She turned to look at Sam who was still looking at her like a warning sign ("use what you just taught us"), and Johnny who seemed to be done with the juice bar.

She took a step aside, then two -- and she was almost successful. Almost.

"Are you free tonight?" the charm in his voice was still present and she hated it. "We could have dinner together. For old times' sake. And I could provide the truth about '85 from my point of view."

She stopped and looked at Sam again. She was talking to Eli and the others, swimming in pride and happiness: the things she gave them by talking about Silver.

The bait worked, the trap caged her and she could feel him reel her in.

"I'll pick you up at seven."

She failed. How could she fail?

She decided to not ask how he knows where she lives. He already knows, of course he does...

She knew everything, yet learned nothing.

She let him win - again.

[writingwithciara]

safe with me -matt sturniolo-

summary: after a brutal break up with her boyfriend, y/n goes to see her best friend chris but finds matt instead. she runs off after matt accidentally says something to upset her and she ends up on the beach in the middle of the night, not knowing what to do or where else to go.

word count: 3k

pairing: matt sturniolo x reader

notes: i really love the tv shows/movies where one of the main characters goes to a beach for some self-reflection and one of their close friends or love interests finds them and they have a serious conversation. thought it would fit perfectly with a sweetheart like matt. enjoy W: abu$e, trauma, swearing

"you've got to be fucking kidding me, y/n! what did i tell you about lying to me? you know what happens when you lie."

"david, please don't."

his large fist came in contact with her right cheek and she couldn't take it anymore. she could hear him apologizing but by this point in their relationship, she had learned to block out his empty apologies.

y/n sat in her car, remembering back to the events that occurred over an hour ago. she wiped the new tears that had fallen just as the old ones were dried.

she sat in the driveway of the sturniolo house, deciding if she should go in and drop her problems on chris like she usually did. there was a voice in her head that kept telling her that chris was getting tired of her problems with david. it happened more than once a week and the more it went on, the harder it was becoming to ignore that voice.

maybe chris really was getting tired of her drama. maybe he needed space.

she shook her head to get rid of the voice and got out of her car slowly. the walk to the front door seemed to get longer the more steps she took. it almost felt like while she was walking forward, she was also walking backward.

she checked herself in her phone reflection before knocking on the door. when nobody answered, she knocked again. after the 4th knock, she was about to leave when the door opened slowly.

"ugh, what?" it was matt. "oh. hey y/n. um, chris isn't here."

"oh. okay. i'll come back then." she sighed and turned around.

"you can come in and wait if you want. he should be back soon."

"alright." she kept her head down as she walked past him and into the living room. she sat on the couch and matt sat next to her.

"can i get you something to drink?"

"no thanks." she began to fidget in her seat. matt could tell she was anxious.

"okay. um, do you want to talk about something?"

"no. i'd really rather just sit here and wait for chris." she answered with a hint of attitude in her voice. matt wasn't sure if she meant it to come out that way or not so he just brushed it off.

"okay then."

the silence between them got louder every minute they sat there. and within 20 minutes, matt decided to speak up again.

"weren't you supposed to go out with david tonight to celebrate something special?"

"um...no." she pulled at her sleeves slowly and avoided matt's eye contact.

"you guys are really cute together, you know? he really loves you."

"no."

"what?"

"it was a mistake coming here. i gotta go." she stood up and rushed out of the house before matt could get any information out of her. on her way to her car, she passed nick and chris.

"hey, y/n. what are you-"

she ignored chris as she just kept running.

chris walked into the house and saw matt in the living room. "what just happened?"

"i have no idea." he shook his head. "she came here to talk to you and i let her wait in here. she was acting weird so i asked her if she wanted to talk. i even brought up david because he makes her happy. then she got up and left."

"i think i know what happened." chris shook his head.

"care to fill me in on what i did wrong?"

"it's about david."

"what about him?"

"that's all i can tell you about it. you need to go find her and talk to her."

"she's not gonna want to talk to me. we barely talk."

"yeah and the one time you guys get a few words in, you somehow manage to upset her." nick looked at his brother. "just stating facts."

"i'll be right back." chris walked out of the room, dialing a number on his phone. when he returned a minute later, he looked at matt. "she isn't answering her cell and she didn't answer her home phone either. you gotta go find her, matt."

"we're not really friends. so even if i wanted to, i have no idea where she is."

"use your instincts. you know her better than you think you do." chris patted his brother on the shoulder before heading to his bedroom.

matt sighed and grabbed his keys. he was going to have to search the depths of his brain to find y/n. he got in his car and started driving. the sun was already beginning to set and he didn't know where he was going to find y/n.

elsewhere, y/n was sitting on the beach she met the triplets at. her knees were up to her chest and her elbows rested across the top of them.

she was watching the sun set over the horizon while thinking about all the good times in her life. aside from the david mess, her life was good. the triplets made it good. especially chris. she couldn't think of a single moment in their friendship where he failed to cheer her up.

she thought about the moments with nick, as well as the few rare moments she had with matt. each of the triplets have made her feel better in their own way and she was grateful for the separate friendships they have given her.

by the time it was completely dark, y/n had been alone for almost two hours. she figured that was enough time with her thoughts and knew she had to go back to the house.

as she was about to stand up, someone sat next to her. she looked over to see matt.

"what are you doing here?"

"i came to talk to you. i feel really bad and stupid for what i said earlier. i most certainly did not mean to upset you. i just wanted to make you feel better."

"it's okay, matt. really." y/n sighed and pulled her knees back up. "i should be apologizing to you. i shouldn't have run out like that. but things happened and i wasn't ready to talk to you about them."

"i completely understand. and i know we're not the best of friends. more like acquaintances than anything really. but i'm here if you ever do need to talk. about anything."

"thank you, matt. i really appreciate it." she looked over at him and smiled. "i feel like you should know what's been going on."

"that's okay. you really don't have to tell me if you're not ready."

"no. i am. i had a lot of time to think over the last 2 hours and i decided that i should let the most important people know what's going on. and that includes you." she took a deep breath. "earlier, when you said that david loves me, it was a lie."

"what do you mean?"

"if he had really loved me, he wouldn't have hit me whenever he was mad. you're supposed to treat your loved ones with kindness and you're supposed to show that you care about them. not the opposite." she felt a few tears fall down her face and went to wipe them away but matt was already beating her to it.

"hey. come here." he held his arms out and she scooted closer. she rested her head on his shoulder and he stroked her back. "nobody deserves to be treated like that. least of all you. david is an idiot because you're one of a kind and should be treated as such."

they sat in silence for another 20 minutes before y/n spoke up again.

"i really appreciate this talk, matt. you have no idea how much."

"not a problem." he looked at her and wiped a few tears off her face again. it was then that he noticed the dark spot on her right cheek. he didn't see it before because she had it covered up with makeup. matt gently grabbed her chin and looked closer at it. "did he do thi to you?"

"y-yeah. but it's okay now. it doesn't hurt anymore."

"so what if it doesn't hurt anymore. it's not, okay. that is never okay." matt stood up. "i'm calling the boys and then we're gonna go give that bastard a taste of his own medicine."

"no, please don't." she muttered. suddenly, she was brought back to her fight with david. she was picturing him in matt's place, screaming harsh words at her. she pulled her knees up to her chest and threw her hands over her ears, sobbing uncontrollably.

matt watched as she began rocking back and forth in her spot on the sand. he wanted to help her but he wasn't sure what to do.

"y/n?" he reached out a hand and grabbed her shoulder gently.

she was about to fight him off, still thinking it was david. but when she opened her eyes and saw matt, she couldn't help but break down in his arms. he sat back down and held her as she sobbed.

"it's alright. let it all out." he stroked her hair and began humming a low tune. the song seemed to calm her down a little bit because her body stopped shaking, but he know she was still crying. "i am so sorry."

"it's not your fault, matt. he just...really fucked me up." she sighed. "thank you for being here. i don't know what i would've done if you didn't find me."

"i'll always be here, okay? i'm not going to let that asshole hurt you anymore."

"i don't know what to do, matt. i can't go home. he's there."

"you can stay with us as long as you want. he doesn't know where we live so you'll be safe. and if he ever finds you, i'll make sure to make him regret ever hurting you."

"okay." she looked up at him. "can we go back to the house? i'm freezing."

"yeah sure." he helped her stand up and they walked to his car. y/n got in and matt made sure she was buckled in her seat before getting in his side and reaching to the back seat. he handed her a hoodie nd received a small smile. "here. i always keep an extra hoodie in the car in case one of the boys gets cold during a video or something."

"thanks, matt." she slid it on over her clothes. "you really are like the mom of the group, aren't you?"

"it seems to be that way." matt started the car and drove towards his house. "you can sleep in my room if you want. i can take the couch."

"that's really sweet of you. but i can crash in chris' room. i don't want to kick you out of your comfort zone."

"you're not kicking me out. i offered."

"okay. fine. i'll take your bed. but i don't feel ocmfortable with you sleeping on the couch."

"i've done it before. it's no big deal."

"matthew, please?"

"it's already decided. you get the bed and i take the couch. plus, if that dumbass does find where we live, i'll be the first line of defense to make sure he doesn't get to you."

"oh wow. my knight in shining armor."

"that's me." he smiled and put the car in park. "let's go inside. chris is making burgers and i'm sure you're starving."

he was barely finished his sentence before she was out of the car and almost at the front door. matt chuckled to himself and followed her inside.

"oh thank god you're alright. i was so worried about you." chris pulled his best friend into a hug and rubbed her back. "please don't ignore my calls again."

"sorry, chrissy. my phone has been on 'do not disturb' since i left my house earlier. didn't want to see any calls or texts from david trying to weasel his way back in with empty apologies and fake promises."

"you're not going back there. ever again."

"i know. matt already offered to let me stay here as long as i wanted. even offered up his bed."

"wow, matt. how chivalrous of you." nick chimed in, knowing just how much matt hated giving up his own personal space.

"she really needs to sleep peacefully tonight and i know she would never get that sleeping in either of your rooms." matt smirked playfully at his brothers.

"if she's sleeping in your bed, where are you going to sleep?" chris asked, eyebrow raised in suspicion.

"i'm taking the couch."

"for how long?"

"as long as y/n is here. i want her to be safe and feel secure."

"okay. fair enough." chris went back to making dinner. "still upset she doesn't want to sleep in my room like she always does when she's over. but that's okay. you're right. she needs peace."

"thank you guys for letting me stay. i can't thank you enough."

"you're always welcome here anytime, y/n. you're practically family at this point." nick smiled and pulled her in for a hug. "i'm glad you're okay. you ran out of here really fast earlier."

"sorry about that. i was just really emotional."

"you don't have to apologize. i understand."

"dinner is ready." chris announced to the group and everyone got their burgers together.

as they ate, matt turned on a random movie. it ended up being y/n's favorite movie and she was more thankful than ever that she had the boys by her side.

after the movie was over, nick and chris went to their rooms to get ready for bed while y/n followed matt to his room.

"i have some old clothes that would probably fit you." he went through his drawers and pulled out a shirt and pajama pants that were too small for him. "you can get changed in here. be right back."

matt left the room and y/n quickly got changed. the shirt was bigger on her than she thought and she was thankful she was wearing pants or it would look like she wasn't wearing anything. matt knocked on the door a few seconds later.

"you're good. come in." y/n sat on the bed and looked at her phone. matt came in and put his clothes in the laundry basket.

"just came in to say goodnight." matt stood at the doorway. "if you need anything, come wake me."

"got it. thanks again."

"no problem. goodnight."

"goodnight, matt." y/n smiled and curled up under the blanket.

3 hours later, matt found himself wide awake, staring at the living room ceiling. he could hear y/n tossing and turning in the other room and he knew she was most likely having a nightmare. his assumptions were proved true when he heard her sobbing.

matt wasted now time running into the room. when he got there, y/n was still asleep but she was crying. matt approached her slowly and sat on the edge of the bed.

"y/n, wake up." he put his hand on her shoulder and the action caused her to jump. she wasn't fully aware of her surroundings but she was aware matt was by her side. she collapsed in his arms for the second time that night.

after 10 minutes of labored breathing, she began to calm down.

"i'm sorry about this again, matt. i feel pathetic." her eyes stayed closed and she held matt tighter.

"you're the farthest thing from pathetic." he moved her hair out of her face. "i'm sorry you felt like you had to keep things going with that jerk just to feel happy. you can always come to me if you want to be happy."

"what?"

"i meant that you can always count on me to make you smile. i'll do everything i possibly can to make you feel better on your bad days." matt chuckled nervously. he didn't mean to accidentally flirt with y/n.

"thanks, matt. you have no idea how much i appreciate everything you've done for me tonight."

"it's my pleasure. i'd do anything to see you smile."

"that's really sweet." she looked up at him and before she knew it, her lips were landing on his. before matt could kiss her back, y/n was pulling away. "oh my god. i am so sorry."

"it's fine. just wasn't expecting it, that's all."

"i feel like an idiot. my emotions are running so high and i-" y/n felt herself beginning to ramble but she was cut off. this time, matt was the one to kiss her. she wasted no time in kissing him back.

it was unexpected for both of them but despite that, they both gave into it. it was like, while their lips were moving together, nothing else mattered in the world but them.

when they finally pulled apart, it was matt's turn to apologize.

"sorry. i just don't like hearing you treat yourself like that. you're so much better than you've been told you are and i'm sick of that jerk poisoning your mind." matt looked at y/n and held her cheek gently, careful to not put pressure on her bruise. "god, you're so beautiful. it's crazy."

"you don't mean that." she tried to shake her head but matt held her.

"yes i do mean that. how could i not?" he took a deep breath. "why do you not believe me?"

"i don't know." she looked down. "i've never been told i was beautiful and the entire time i was with david, he never treated me like i was. guess i've been conditioned to believe i'm not."

"well, fuck him. he was very clearly blind. and he doesn't matter anymore." matt gently forced her to look at him. "you are so incredibly beautiful and if i could, i would go back in time to make sure you were told every single day of your life."

"thanks, matt." y/n smiled. "maybe with you, i'll finally believe it."

"trust me. i will spend every day of my life proving it to you. you're safe with me."

"i believe it." she smiled and kissed matt again, finally feeling safe.

[babyblankyerror]

Scientific equipment is KNOWN to be extremely fragile, especially something impossible like a perpetual motion machine. There’s a reason you’re supposed to be careful around things like that because they’re super fragile. It’s not Ford’s fault that the machine broke because “he didn’t build it good enough”, shit like that just breaks easily. Plus, Ford has spent THIRTY YEARS trapped and on the run in the multiverse and he was JUST ABOUT TO KILL BILL WHEN THE PORTAL REACTIVATED!!! He was in heightened emotional distress! PLUS DO YOU THINK FILBRICK WOULD’VE LISTENED TO FORD?! Ford was being abused you realize? Or do you not? Living to be a family’s meal ticket and being deemed a freak by all the peers surrounding him. How would that make YOU feel?!?!!??

Well someone isn't happy to know that Stanford Pines is a jerk and that's okay💀

I swear I cannot post about that man without people like this coming for me, it's why I barely post him in the first place.

I'm gonna be straight with you fellas, I don't like Stanford Pines. Not the one in the show and it's not because he does things that piss me off or just because he treats his brother a certain way but because he is, quite frankly, like me. And I do not like me.

Stanford Pines has gone through stuff and so has Stanley. Both were abused, both had their troubles.

Ford spent 30 years trapped on the run? What about Stan? On the run since he was 17, just a kid. All Stanford got was to be in his brother's shoes (and yes I agree the multiverse is much worse but I cannot take that as an excuse).

Ford dug his own hole, tripped inside and blamed everyone else for it and you know why? Because that's how us gifted kids are taught to think at a young age. It's not okay, not for others but especially not for yourself because you do not give yourself the slack of being human. Of making mistakes.

Stanley faced his mistakes head on, always had, always forced to. It wouldn't hurt for Ford to grow and learn the same, it'd do some good to him really (which he does at the end :3)

And I do still stand by the idea that the machine wasn't built well enough- I don't care what you say. Stanford was smart enough to build something that would last HOWEVER, I am aware it was a model and it wasn't supposed to be perfect, that he was still a kid and mistakes happen and so on.

Still...a small shake and it stops??? Come on.

[flower-boi16]

Helluva Boss: A Show For "Mature" Audiences That Isn't Very Mature

Something that's very funny to me is how Helluva Boss is an adult show, meaning that its supposed to be mature, and more mature than a kids show. However, the show really isn't that mature when you really think about it; sure, it's supposed to be viewed for mature audiences, and It by no means is for kids at all but...HB is really just the superficial version of mature. The show constantly crams in gore, swears and sex jokes all the damn time as a way to just appear edgy. It's not mature as in "it has mature and deep messages and themes" its the superficial version of mature, the type of mature that's just "let's shove in a bunch of swears and sex jokes into this show so people can KNOW its for adults!".

The show feels like its trying so damn hard to be edgy and crams swears and sex jokes into its dialogue because its an "adult" show. 70% of the dialogue in this show is awful because of the amount times it feels the need to shove in swears and sex jokes into every single line the characters say. It feels like the show is just..trying to be edgy with no substance to it. The only really mature theme HB has is Stolas's sexual desires for Blitz...but now its just completely dropped as Stolitz is suppoused to be seen as a healthy reletionship for some reason.

A majority of the villains are very one-dimensional Saturday morning cartoon villains too. HB feels like a show that's just overly obsessed with being edgy so it can come across as "mature". And while you can technically say that HB is mature as the show isn't exactly for kids and is aimed towards adults, again, its only the superficial version of mature, the show isn't really that mature in terms of its actual writing.

But here's the REAL kicker here; the shows I primarily enjoy watching are kids shows on Disney Channel, and...well, lets take a look at the themes and messages of these shows aimed towards kids that I've seen, shall we?

Gravity Falls: Tells a story about growing up, and how, while growing up may seem hard, you don't have to grow up alone, and that even when you grow up, that doesn't mean you have to let go

Amphibia: Tells a story about three girls who are all heavily flawed people in a toxic friendship. Ends with a message about change and how while it may be hard, sometimes; things change, and you need to accept that.

The Owl House: Tells a story about a girl who was ostracized for her whole life who was able to make real connections with others and find a place where she truely belongs.

Ducktales: Has an old man rediscover the value of family after pushing away his loved ones after losing his niece

Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur: Has an episode where the main message is that you should stand up for your community, and how you can make your voice be heard no matter what.

The Ghost and Molly Mcgee (SPOILERS FOR THE FINALE): Final episode has a beautiful and mature message about how you should spend your life to the fullest, take risks and not be afraid or play it safe, and has a character go and spend his life to the fullest when he becomes human again

These "kids shows" have more mature and thoughtful messages and themes as well as better writing than this "adult" show. Helluva Boss has me groaning and getting frustrated at all the bad writing and wasted potential in its second season. Meanwhile, Amphibia's second season almost gets me to cry not once, but twice. These shows have more compelling and nuanced characters than HB, they don't constantly try to coddle them and absolve them of their mistakes, rather for some of them, they make the characters actually grow as people, something HB has NOT done at all.

Helluva Boss is an adult show, yet these kids' shows not only have more nuanced characters than it, but they are also unironically more mature than HB despite being shows targeted towards a younger audience. Its extremely funny to me how Viv said that HB is "Bojack Horseman with demons" when HB is less mature than kids' shows that aired on the Disney Channel.

Helluva Boss isn't a mature show, it's just an overly edgy one.

[oonajaeadira]

Leave Off Your Wandering pt. 2: Summer

Fandom: The Last of Us (TV)/ Joel Miller

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Reader: Adult female. Old enough to have been an adult on Outbreak Day. Wyoming born and bred. Sheep farmer, easy-going but confident and self-sufficient. Likes to sing, not a great cook. Childhood friend of Maria. No other physical descriptors; no use of y/n.

Rating: T for now

Warnings: Hunting and skinning squirrels. Chemical burns to skin. Piercing injury. Joel being a dick in a moment of self-preservation. Ellie's still a swear-mouth. Everybody makes some mistakes.

Summary: You solve a problem for Ellie and Joel really doesn't take it well.

A/N: Set after season 1 and then diverges. Does not acknowledge the existence of further plot/seasons, although I claim the right to steal ideas and bits of cannon from the second game if I want to for plot reasons later.

Listen. I know those warnings up there seem like a bit much, but I promise you all of that is in passing, in service to the plot, and not described in detail. (With the exception Ellie's cussing. That will persist indefinitely.) This is stupid fluffy.

Your gut reaction is to fetch your gun and point it at Ellie’s head.

But the girl is calm.

And the bites are healed.

“Wanna shoot me, don’t you,” she challenges with a mismatched set of cocky mouth and world weary eyes. “This one happened before I met Joel. And this one the day after. This is why he took me to the Fireflies. He told me not to tell anyone. That’s why I freaked out.”

Earlier in the day you’d gone looking for Ellie, hoping to show her the honeybee hive you’d discovered at the edge of the meadow. She’d been bathing in the stream, stripped down to nothing. She’d shrieked when she saw you coming near and you’d laughed and kept your eyes averted, understanding the self-consciousness of teenagers, about to tell her to come and find you when she was done.

And then she roared.

“GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME! GO!”

It had been a punch to the heart if not a slap to the face, which you were certain by her tone you would have received had you been close enough.

Saying nothing, and simply obeying her wish, you’d turned and gone back to the Roost. Ellie stayed away so long that her hair was completely dry and her nose was sunburned when she finally joined you.

Every footfall had been an apology on the ladder. And every slow creak along the porch was following an olive branch to the broken down sofa you perched on to keep watch over the north meadow.

Taking a reticent seat beside you, she’d rolled up her sleeve. “I’m sorry I yelled. I didn’t want you to see it. It’s kind of a life and death thing.”

“Obviously,” you answer, shellshocked. “Reaction warranted.” Dropping her arm to her lap and reaching up to pull down her cuff, you stop her, holding out a waiting hand. “Can I?”

Suddenly doe-eyed and struck by your acceptance, she nods and lays her forearm in your palm.

There’s instinctual revulsion at first, but it melts to wonder as you get a closer look at the scars. There’s nothing of skin breakage, no mycelium running underneath, nothing reaching for you through holes as there would be if you were having one of your nightmares.

Immunity. Statistically speaking, it had to exist, but she’s the first you’ve ever seen or heard of.

“I wondered why you’d choose to wear long sleeves in this heat. I see now. Joel was smart to tell you to keep it covered. This’ll get you killed faster than infection, that’s for sure.” The tendons in her arm flex involuntarily when you run your fingers over the marks. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to tickle.” She relaxes as you release her. This time she doesn’t move to cover the skin. “Out in the open with Joel, I can imagine why you were bit the second time. How’d you come by it the first time?”

“Messing around with a friend where I wasn’t supposed to.”

Ah. By the pull at her brow and the same laws of statistics, you’d hazard to guess that friend didn’t make it. Probably another kid like her. Tragic.

“I see. And that’s why you were being smuggled. That’s why they wanted you. Well, what did the Fireflies make of you?”

She clearly catches the way you slather contempt onto the name of the terrorist organization, but answers your question. “They wanted to make a cure from my blood. They had me on the operating table but raiders attacked the hospital and killed everyone while I was under. So I guess we missed our chance.”

A quiet minute passes as you watch her tracing her thumb over the scar, lost in thought, brow twisted, recounting the ordeal of that day. Something doesn’t sit right with her about it.

And neither does it sit right with you.

Doctors don’t put a person on an operating table just to draw blood.

And you’ve heard stories of what Joel’s capable of.

You’ve witnessed just how protective he is over this little girl.

Her reverie dissolves when you lay a gentle hand on her shoulder. “While I’m sorry they never got the chance to find the possibilities, I understand enough about research medicine to know that the likelihood of their finding a cure from just one person is almost impossible. So while they might have been able to study your blood, they most likely wouldn’t be able to get enough of it or keep it stable long enough to find any answers.”

“How do you know that?”

Over the next hour as the sun sinks in the sky and she soaks up your history, you tell her about your sister. How you and her and Maria were a tight-knit team growing up, how in love with Maria she was, how you were certain they were going to get married one day.

Then you tell her how Maria went off to law school and your sister got sick, that the cancer was rare and the treatment was long and expensive, so your parents had opted for research to fray some costs and keep the ranch.

In the end, there were no answers, not without more donors of her ilk.

Your parents took a loan against the ranch, knowing full well they would lose it, but everyone agreed it was worth it for whatever time it would buy her.

And then Jakarta fell. And the world went to hell.

A few of the elderly residents of the Jackson basin came to hole up on the ranch and most of Willa’s family and tribal branch moved over from their land to form a protective new family group. It worked for a few years. It was safe. It was a thriving little commune.

And then the Fireflies came.

“There were Fireflies out here too?”

“Oh yeah, they were in every QZ, spreading their lies and chaos through the telegram towers, recruiting poor young suckers wherever they took root and getting them all killed. You tangled with them and I’d say you’re lucky you’re alive.”

Ellie frowns down at her arm again. “What did they do when they came here?”

Another story then. Now you explain with a little less nostalgia how the Fireflies came to use your ranch as a base. Trucks coming and going at all hours. Gunshots in the night. Catching the attention of roving packs of raiders. People got hurt. People died.

There was one day when two Fireflies went out foraging mushrooms with old Ms. Celia. They brought her body back on a makeshift sled. Just keeled over, they said.

Funny how the same thing happened the week before with old Ms. Margie. What a coincidence that it was happening when the food supplies were running low.

But the last blow came when the ranch was attacked by raiders a third time. There was a plan in place to create a distraction, draw their attention away from the ranch. The Fireflies knew your sister was sick and designated she do the job. They put a gun to your head when you protested.

It’s okay, she’d said, I don’t have much left to lose. If I’m going out, at least the people I love will be safe.

It was a shit plan.

A lot of people died that day. Most of them were raiders, thanks to Willa and her tribe. Some of them were Fireflies thanks to you and your shotgun.

“So did you win?”

“No. The barriers were still broken. And the ranch was burned to the ground.”

The evening sky is a mix of purples and gold now, the flocks of birds swooping over the meadow are starting to vie for their meal of mosquitos and gnats with an increasing number of bats. Ellie watches one in particular as it swoops up and over the roof of the Roost.

“What about your parents?”

“They burned with the ranch.”

She nods solemnly, without horror, the attitude of a child that’s seen too much.

“And your sister died too then?”

"She got away at first. Found her in the woods a week later with a bite like yours, but she was long gone by then. One of Willa’s brothers did the shooting.”

Another quiet nod. “What was your sister’s name?” she asks as an evening bird calls.

It was bound to come up.

“Eleanor. We called her Ell. Ellie, when she was little.” When you can see the unearned guilt building in her face you bump her shoulder playfully. “It was almost twenty years ago. I hold onto the good memories. She was sweet and kind to everyone she met, never backsassed our parents, never disobeyed. So basically nothing like you at all.” You laugh when she shoots you an annoyed look. “Not that she was an angel though! She had her fire; you didn’t want to get on her bad side. And she was whip smart. That’s where the two of you meet I think.”

“Sounds like you lost everything at once.”

“I did,” a fact you aknowledge as you stretch and get up, heading back into the cabin to light the lantern. “But Willa helped me through. And then Jackson got its walls up and Maria found her way home and I had family again.” Once the lantern flickers to life, you grab your bag and start pawing through it. “You keep going for family.”

“That’s what Joel says.”

“Huh. You know what? I believe you. Here,” pulling a tank top out of your pack you toss it at her and it smacks her in the face. “While you’re out here you can wear that and not die of heat stroke in those knit tops. But when you’re out in the sun, put something over your shoulders or use the tsuga paste. Your skin hasn’t seen sun in a while and the last thing I need to do is bring you back cooked like a Christmas goose and have Joel all up in my ass about it.”

“That actually sounds like a good thing for both of you, if you ask me.”

“Watch it.”

“What? I didn’t say anything! Look at the time! We should be spinning wool! How I love spinning wool. Whoopee!”

“Like I said. Nothing like my sister. You little shit.”

________

“Meadowlark to patrol.”

“This is patrol.”

“Starling and I are on the southeast side of the meadow near the chokecherry copse and we’ve found a honeybee hive. I’m going to tie red flags to the surrounding trees. You wanna put the word out that some of these cherries are ready to go and get someone suited out here to scope out this hive?”

“This will make four hives now.”

“I know. We’re getting lucky this year.”

“Will do, Meadowlark. We’ll radio in before we cross borders.”

“Copy. Out.”

On the way back to the Roost you and Ellie stop to greet a group of sheep lazing in the grass, sitting down and sharing cherries with them from a basket between the two of you.

“They can eat these?” she asks.

“Sure. They can pretty much eat whatever we do. Chokecherries are fine. Just don’t give ‘em the leaves or stems. Those are poisonous.”

This means taking the time to pull cherries away from the branches until there’s a handful to feed the sheep. Normally you’d be fending them off during this, they’d be insistent and impatient, but the heat of the day has them lazy and languid.

It’s also working on Ellie as she yawns, stretching her white arms plastered in pine and sunflower paste for protection, her scar marring her otherwise unburned forearm.

“You know, I’ve been thinking,” you hand her another branch to start shucking. “Willa does tattoos. She could cover that for you.”

Ellie hesitates. “Maybe.”

“What. You don’t want a tattoo? I thought you might like that. It would be pretty badass. We could cover it with a starling or something….”

“I guess.” You wait for her excuse. It’s a decent one. “I just…It would mean Willa would know too. Joel told me not to tell anyone. I don’t think I should.”

“I understand. That’s kinda why I suggested Willa. The woman’s a vault.” But Ellie’s fingers stop picking berries, as if she doesn’t know what to do or what to say. “Oh. I see. You don’t want Joel to know you told anyone. Even me.”

She nods.

She changes the subject then–something about him wanting to keep her safe, even teaching her to use a shotgun to protect herself–but your mind keeps working on the problem.

It’s only when you make it back to the ladder at the Roost, one foot frozen on the bottom rung, that you find the answer.

“What’s wrong?” she asks from behind you.

Under the posts of the Roost is a load of firewood. And under that wood….

“Ellie…if there was another way to get rid of your scar, would you?”

“What. You gonna give me some kinda bird tattoo yourself? Is it gonna look like a blob or–”

“I mean, do you want it gone at all?”

She pulls herself out of her slouched position to her full height. “I mean…yeah…I think a tattoo is actually a great idea I just…”

“What if Willa didn’t have to know? What if she thought she was covering up something else?” Pulling a few armfulls of wood away from the side of the pile, you uncover a wide plank of wood, once a handsome cedar coffee table top, now a sunken excuse for a forest cellar door. Prying the wood out of its depression, you reveal an earthen pit housing a couple of shovels, a couple pairs of oilskin mittens, and a covered earthen pot.

“This,” you point to the pot, “is lye. We keep it out here in case one of the sheep dies from infection or illness. It’s important to bury the sheep to keep it away from the flock. But even if you bury a carcass, bear and coyotes will come sniffing around and dig it up. We discourage that with this. Lye breaks down organic matter. That’s why we have gloves in here. It burns skin.”

Ellie frowns into the pit, understanding slowly dawning until she asks with a gasp, “Does it hurt?”

“Hells yes it does. It’s a burn, Ellie. It hurts like a son of a bitch, there’s no way I’d lie about that. But it will twist the features of that scar. You’ll never have to dodge suspicion again.”

“Mother. Fucker,” her whisper shakes, but she eyes the pot in steady fascination.

“You know what?” You throw the tabletop back down over the hole, “I saw a whole lot of squirrels around those chokecherries and they’re actually good eating if you get a few of them and throw ‘em in a pot with some potatoes and onion and garlic…. Too bad their skins are too small to be useful. But we can’t just leave ‘em lying around, you know. So if you and I were to go out and get a few and make a stew, and say I was to show you how the lye works with the leavings… well, something might happen.” The girl looks you dead in the eye, her jaw dropping open a little in disbelief. “What do you say? You wanna go out and do some target practice? Get some squirrel for dinner?”

A switch flips in Ellie’s spine and her eyes spark cold and bright, two supernovas in a smiling galaxy.

“Fuck yes. I’ll get the rifle.”

________

“Good shot!” you cheer as a third squirrel drops from a branch and you share a high five. “Wonder who taught you that! Damn, girl! Three for three. Tonight, we feast.”

“So, when are we doing this?” Ellie smiles as you walk back to the Roost, the barrel of the rifle slung over one shoulder, a string of fuzzy dinner swinging from the other.

“Tomorrow morning. Willa will be coming in at noon and that should give us some time to get a good burn in before she arrives. It should be fine, but if anything goes wrong, she can help and that makes me feel better about it. Ellie…. You sure you trust me with this?”

“I can’t die from it, right?”

“No, but you might want to. It’s sure as hell not gonna be pleasant.”

“Lady, I spent half a year walking across the country with Joel. I’m a master at dealing with unpleasant.” By now the sheep are familiar with the sound of Ellie’s laughter and a few perk up on your way past to follow you lazily back to the Roost. “But, like, I don’t understand why we have to go through all this with the squirrels. Don’t get me wrong, I like the target practice and all…”

You take the squirrels from her and set up a makeshift butcher’s block on a stump left waist high specifically for this purpose. “I don’t want to lie to Joel when he freaks out about you getting hurt. We had squirrels. We disposed of the leavings. You got burned with the lye. Truth truth truth.”

“You think he’ll be mad at you?”

“Oh, I’m already counting that into the equation. I know you seem to think he’s fond of me, but not all the evidence leads up to that. You know how to clean a squirrel?”

“Sure do,” she grins as she trades the rifle for your boot knife and, taking the first rodent in hand, she works it skillfully, tongue sticking out the corner of her mouth, skinning the critter in one go. “Thanks, little buddy. You were cute, but you’ll be gooooooood eating.”

“You’re a hell of a kid.”

“Yeah, well, guess who taught me this?” she says as she morbidly slices through another one, making dramatic death noises as she goes. “Why do you think he doesn’t like you? Joel’s stupid about you. He just doesn’t know it yet.”

“Jesus, Ellie.” With a sigh and a shake of the head, you indulge her question and your own immature angst. “Well, for starters, I can tell he doesn’t think much of some of my conversation.”

“What do you mean?” Another skin lands at her feet.

“He just…doesn’t answer questions sometimes. Ignores comments. Doesn’t like to join in on the joke.”

“This is a big one,” she grunts, tugging at the final squirrel. “What side are you standing on when he ignores you?”

“Huh?”

“Where are you standing when you talk to Joel? He’s deaf in his right ear.”

You blink.

And suddenly a hell of a lot of things make a hell of a lot of sense.

That one time you complimented his shirt and he said nothing, you were on his right.

That one time you poked fun at his scowl. On his right.

You cracked that joke, offered a piece of pie, told him everything would be alright.

Right. Right. Right.

“I…didn’t know that,” you stammer stupidly, flinching when Ellie hands your knife back and heads for the ladder.

“Yeah, that was obvious. I’m gonna go get a bowl.” You’re still in shock as she starts climbing. “Don’t expect him to get down on one knee when he asks you to marry him; he’s got shitty knees too. He’s happy to complain about it if you ask him. Make sure it’s in his left ear.”

________

“Okay, look at me, Ellie. Breathe.”

She nods, her eyes burning with determination over the shirt you’ve tied around her nose and mouth to protect her from inhaling the mix.

As you sit in the grass a few meters from the stream with her arm resting in your mittened hands, you lay the lye-laden cloth over the scar and enclose it with pressure.

Her breath comes heavily. Bravely. Then you hear it change as the lye begins to work.

“Shit. It itches,” she hisses. “Shit. Shit shit fuck fuck ow it’s getting worse–”

“You want me to stop?”

“No shit fuck I can do this I got this shiiiiiiiiiit!”

“I won’t let you go too long but you let me know if you need–”

“I’m fine! FUCK!”

It’s when she screams that you know it’s enough and releasing her, you order, drill sergeant style, “Go! Go! Go! Fifteen minutes! Don’t look at it!”

Ellie bolts into the ice cold stream, sneakers and all, gasping as the water washes the cloth away from her. “Shit. I thought it would feel better. It doesn’t!”

“Does it feel worse?”

“No, it just fucking burns!”

A sigh of relief. “Well, that’s good. Just… just let it rinse. Do you feel woozy at all?”

She just shakes her head, looking down through the water. “It’s getting red. And puffy.”

“No broken skin?”

“No.”

“Good. It’ll probably blister up some.”

Ellie might not be feeling woozy, but you sure are. Was it a reckless idea? Probably. Will it actually work? Hopefully. Do you feel bad that she’s gonna be in pain for a while? Fuck yes. But then you remember when she put on your tank top and just … laid in the grass and smiled. Even if she never wore short sleeves again, at least nobody was going to make a fast decision with a gun to her skull.

You really should have checked with Joel though. No matter what Ellie wants, you know full well it wasn’t your call to make.

Another problem for another day.

“Everything okay down there?” Willa’s black braids glint in the sun as she walks down from the Roost.

“Ellie had a run in with the lye,” you call back.

“Yeah, I see you were composting. I filled in the hole.” She hardly even stops when she reaches you, simply pulls off her boots and heads straight into the water. “Let’s see. Oh yeah. That’s a burn alright.”

As Willa inspects Ellie’s submerged arm, the girl looks up and smiles at you, giving you a wet thumbs up. “Hurts like a motherfucker!"

“I’ll bet,” the woman hums dryly. “That’s going to swell up and scar pretty bad. Why don’t you sit and let the water do its work. Meadowlark and I will go pack your things and I’ll grab the gauze in the first aid kit.”

Willa doesn’t ask questions as you pack up, just the regular routine of information trade off. You tell her that you’ve marked a few sheep with blue dye to keep an eye on for injuries or dehydration. And she lets you know what’s going on in town, including the fact that there’s gonna be a wedding with a reception at the food hall over the weekend.

“Really? Who?”

“Bear and Missy Tippet.”

“Your uncle??? Willa, I can stay; don’t you wanna be there?”

She laughs. “Hell no I do not. You know exactly how I feel about Missy Tippet; same as you. I’d rather be out here. Perfect timing. They’ve been keeping each other warm on and off for years now. Maybe this will finally keep her on. As much as I hate to picture that,” she shivers.

Willa’s such an even-keeled soul and it’s not just anyone she’ll shit talk in front of. “Well, your secret’s safe with me. If it is a secret that is.”

“What’s a secret?” Ellie interrupts as she pulls herself up to the balcony from the ladder with one hand.

Willa takes a little time to show her the correct way to bandage the burn–not too tight–while you pack the horses, as well as instructing you where to find her stash of willow bark if Ellie needs it for the pain.

But something tells you that Eliie’s gonna tough it out. Though she holds her arm gingerly as she rides, fisting the reigns in her left hand, the girl grins all the way back to Jackson like she’s just pulled off the heist of the century.

________

Jackson is busy when you ride through the gates midday, folks passing by on their way to visit, deliver, build. Purpose in Jackson is taken seriously, as is leisure, and both are on display as you pass by the rustic main drag, in many different ways frozen in time–log storefronts and Mickey Mouse tshirts, leather-saddled livestock and Japanese fans.

You spot Joel waiting at the stables before he sees you, distracted by none other than Missy Tippet. Getting herself married or not, the stunning woman is a glutton for attention and a class A flirt, and she’s not the only one in town whose head turned the minute Joel took up residence.

Not that you can blame her, with him in that tight grey tshirt, busting a carpenter’s arms out of its sleeves and contouring it with sweat…. By the dust on his face, he’s been working today. Probably took a break to wait for–

“Ellie. Hey! You decided to come home.”

“Yup,” she says, throwing him the reins to distract him while she gingerly dismounts. “I shot three squirrels!”

You avoid Joel’s questioning glance as you slide down from your own mare and lead her into a stall. “Go on, you two, I’ll stable up. Nice to see you, Cinnamon Roll.”

But they’re already on their way, an engaged chattering, laughing questions and energetic answers…and your teasing goes unheard. Ah. Wrong ear, you realize.

Missy smirks; condescends.“Cinnamon roll, huh? Good try, I guess.”

You don’t rise to her bait. “Just giving him sass. He’s obviously not a fan. You gonna help me with these saddles or keep slobbering all over the men that aren’t your fiancee what come on by?”

Okay. Maybe a little rising.

________

It’s your ritual, first thing back from the meadow. The Roost holds a special place in your heart, but the one thing it can’t deliver is a shower. Great gods of earth and sky, let there be thanks that warm water’s still a thing, even in summer.

You’re still dripping, one head tilted to the side as you drain the last of the water out one ear, when there’s a knock at the front door downstairs.

Well, let’s see. There aren’t that many people who know you’re back yet and Ellie’s come home with a bandage on her arm. It’s easy to guess who’s knocking. Okay. Let’s get this over with.

When you answer the door wrapped in nothing but a towel, it obviously wasn’t what Joel was expecting, and if he walked over here with any ire, it instantly freezes and shatters like a bubble on the tundra when he takes in all the skin on display.

“You’ll excuse me if I don’t invite you in for snacks at the moment.”

Deflated, he simply rams his hands in his pockets, squinting. “You wanna tell me about Ellie’s arm?”

“I had planned on it at a time when I wasn’t wet and naked, but sure.” When he throws his hands up in defeat and turns to leave, you stop him, catching at his sleeve and stretching the fabric so it snaps back against his arm. “Hey. Wait. Yes. I was going to tell you.” As you cross your arms over the towel and lean on the door frame, he does much the same on the other side, averting his eyes and trying not to fidget. And failing. “It happened this morning. She shot some squirrels and we dressed ‘em for dinner last night and buried the bones and pelts. Gotta lye ‘em or animals come digging. I thought she could handle it. Looks like we both got burned, so to speak.” His face is stony. Unamused. You continue. “Willa looked at it this morning, we got it a good rinse. I’m gonna go by her place later and grab some willow bark and show Ellie how to compress.” He shakes his head at his boots. “Hey. She’ll be fine, Joel.”

“I don’t want her getting hurt out there.”

“And I do? It’s a chemical burn, not a clicker bite. She’ll learn from it. Kids can’t be put in glass cages.” It’s here that you pretend not to see the flash in his eye at the mention of bites, meanwhile noticing a bad scrape on his forearm. Seeing your opening, you reach out to draw a finger over it. “Jesus, Joel. Look at this. This. See? We all have occupational hazards. Come on.”

With a sigh you turn and pad into the kitchen to your first aid drawer, taking a chance that pays off--you’re surprised to hear him actually following. It takes a minute to dress the wound and you’re not ginger about it–water, apple cider vinegar, gauze. It’s a quiet minute though, one you thought you could power through, and maybe you could have, if you were in anything more than a towel…or couldn’t hear him breathing…or feel it on your skin. Trying to play it cool and get a vibe check on him, you look up only to catch his eye shifting away from your bare shoulder back to your work on his arm.

It’s time to break the silence, but you don’t feel the need to be on the defense anymore.

“We don’t have a lot of antibiotics just sitting around, you know. Don’t let this stuff fester, okay, cinnamon roll? You and that daredevil kid are a matching pair, you know that?”

He only grunts, half rolling his eyes at you, jaw set, voice at a soft compromise. “Yeah, well, I don’t want her going back out there until she’s healed up. Limited use of both arms is a good path to more accidents.”

“Fair. You win. Summer’s pretty slow anyway. I could use the quiet.” Laying it on thick, you tie up the ends of the gauze before releasing him back into the wilds. “Warm sun, buzz of bees. Sweet smell of grass and lupines. Meadow’s a good place for afternoon naps. Easier to do without an apprentice yapping my ear off.”

He nods thoughtfully at this--your words showing their effect--and slowly turns and heads for the door.

And you smile knowingly as you watch him go.

“You know,” you call out just before he closes the door behind him, “door’s open at the Roost. You can always come out there with her if you’re so concerned. That is, if you don’t mind sleeping on a broke-down sofa on the porch.”

Without looking back, he pauses briefly in the patch of summer glare. Then he silently steps out and pulls the door shut, leaving only the click of the latch and the sunlight through the leaded glass.

Well. That certainly could have gone much worse.

________

At least you’re wearing more clothes when it finally does go worse.

“What happened here, squirt?” Tommy taps his fork on Ellie’s bandage at family dinner.

And Ellie answers with a light jab to his arm. “Ow, you dick! That hurts!”

“Ellie–” a scold in stereo from both you and Joel.

As her teacher, the admonishment was instinctual. But in current context, it may have been a breach of place. The table goes silent as Joel’s head snaps in your direction and everyone else’s eyes bounce between you two, utterly amused. There’s a moment when you’re afraid he might just continue to glare, but then he cracks half a smile, shakes his head, and goes back to shoveling a spoonful of potatoes into his mouth.

It’s a reaction that lets you know Joel’s forgiven you, back to allowing you to be a rearing force in Ellie’s life.

“Meadowlark let me do some target practice and I shot some squirrels for dinner. Had to bury the skin and bones with lye and I got burned. Oops.”

“Oh my god,” Maria chews. “Are you okay?”

Ellie gives her a precocious smile and follows it with sarcastic condescension. “Yes, I’m going to live. As long as some people let it heal and stop hitting me with sharp things because they think they’re funny and they’re not.”

Tommy sticks his tongue out at Ellie and Maria laughs at them both before getting up to go fetch another jar of pickles from the pantry, holding her growing belly and waving off her husband's attempts to help.

“Rabbit’s better eating,” Tommy points out, returning to the subject at hand.

Ellie pops a stringbean into her mouth, clearly in a good mood. “But their hides are useful. Don’t have to bury them.”

The moment after she says this is like a lightning flash, and your reaction matches hers as you both freeze, realizing what she’s just accidentally said.

“Squirrels are faster, smaller, better target practice,” you say, clearing your throat, trying to act casual.

Tommy shrugs and nods, agreeing, oblivious, going to town on his ear of corn.

But Joel’s gone still, staring you down across the table, then casts a glance at Ellie…and her arm.

Shit.

Tommy and Maria are blissfully unaware of Joel’s turn for the quiet during the rest of the meal, not that he’d been very talkative to begin with. But the hesitant glances and shy smiles are gone now, replaced with a restrained patience and a few calculating glances.

It’s Maria’s turn to wash and Tommy’s to dry and yours to clear the table. But with every trip into the kitchen, you glance through the window over the sink into the yard where Joel and Ellie are having a spirited conversation under the tree at the far end.

'Spirited conversation' might be too polite a term. More like a one-sided lecture. Soon enough you have the table wiped down and you’re making a bee-line out the back door while Tommy and Maria argue about the best technique for drying a glass.

“That is not okay,” Joel hisses, trying to keep his voice low, giving Ellie’s shoulder a rough shake. “What if something went wrong? Huh? You could have burned down to the bone!”

“Joel, Joel, hey,” you whisper as you come to complete the triad. “Don’t. She confided in me. It was my idea.”

Nostrils flaring, lips pressed together, head wagging, he glares. “Of all the reckless, stupid….”

“I wanted to!” Ellie pleads, and you shut her down.

“That’s true, but Joel’s right and I knew it. I shouldn’t have–”

“If you tell anyone–” he warns, his eyes going full retribution against you--a hot coil ready to spring--and it petrifies you, takes you by the heart and squeezes.

“She won’t! Joel!”

“She’d better not.”

It’s a tense moment, one that surprises you. Scares you. In the months you’ve known him, Joel’s been a quiet and withdrawn creature, opening up in increments as you’ve done your best to build your trust, taming him slowly week after week, hoping for nothing more than having him someday eating out of your palm, pushing his cheek into your hand for gentle reassurance…

But in one fell swoop you’re back at the starting line–beyond the starting line. The papa bear in him is showing, bearing its teeth, and you’ve spent too much time among sheep, forgetting the valuable lesson that wild animals can never truly be tamed.

“I will burn this place to the ground if you ever hurt another hair on her head.” The quiet threat is feral and stinging and steals your breath before it’s over.

The things he’s capable of...those things are here and now and he could do them all to you before you had the chance to run.

The way he looks at you pulls the heat from the earth.

Before you can break from your paralysis, they’re gone, Joel pushing Ellie out of the yard toward home.

The stars are coming out. If there are crickets, you don’t hear them. Every sense seems to have shifted into neutral. Except breathing. That comes back with a hunger.

“Joel and Ellie take off?” Tommy calls from the window.

“Yeahhhh,” you call back without turning. “Tired. The heat. Think I might head home too.”

“Take a jar of these pickles. We have too many and Maria can't stomach them right now. I’ve got pickles coming out my damn ears.”

“Okay. Thanks, T. Pickles. Will do."

________

The following few days are...confusing. You should go out and grab some supplies on the main street, but actually fear running into Joel or Ellie. It’s stupid, and it makes you angry; it’s not that you’re afraid of him, it’s just…

You’re disappointed in yourself. Because everything’s upset now. Sure, you wanted to get close to them, but you overstepped, put Ellie in danger, made Joel feel unsafe. Everyone should feel safe in Jackson. Everyone should feel safe in the meadow. And you took that away from him.

Joel.

Why him? What about him do you need to have so badly? Why do you feel the need to fix him? To give him that safety?

Because Joel and Ellie so badly need a home. And you have an excess of home within you.

And little else.

You’ve never been lonely before. Why now?

Something about them….just fits.

Or so you thought. Or may have thought. Before you ruined it.

It’s better to just sit home and knit. Winter will be here soon enough and people need sweaters, dammit. You have a job to do.

But you can’t stay hidden away forever, especially not when there’s a wedding in the community.

________

“Bear, Missy, you’ve said your vows in front of all of us here tonight. We are all witness to your commitment. All in agreement, say aye!”

“AYE!”

“And those of you who want to spoil this good time, say nay!”

Bear’s brother pipes up from the side of the mess hall. “Nay!”

“Shut up, you asshole,” Bear laughs.

“Perfection is tempting devils!” his brother teases.

“Let ‘em come,” Bear shouts. “I’ll tear ‘em all down for my lady love, the prettiest girl in Jackson!” There’s applause and laughter as he kisses his new bride and the mood shifts as he roars, “Drinking and dancing!!!”

“Ugh. Good thing Willa isn’t here to see this. She’d be so annoyed.” Maria yells in your ear over the din as you huddle around your favorite table at the back of the hall. “I thought Missy would never settle down.”

“Bear must earn his name in the sack,” you crack back at her, and she clinks her glass against yours in agreement.

Tommy and Joel sit across the table from you, facing away toward the front. But when Tommy turns to join in the conversation, Joel remains facing out to the crowd, watching as tables are pushed to the side to make a dance floor, quietly pulling sips from a frothy cider.

He’s still pissed at you.

“Where’s Ellie?” you ask Tommy, not even attempting to address the wall of Joel-shaped ice.

“Over beyond, with the other big kids.”

You don’t turn to look, but Joel does after hearing the comment, before turning back to watch the crowd.

A band strikes up. Friends stop by and chat. Some of Tommy and Joel’s work friends come and take over the table–the boys all getting loud and rowdy–so you and Maria escape to the edge of the dance floor, beverages in hand, dancing–but not really–in place.

“What’s going on?” Maria finally asks over the music and the general glee.

“Hmm?”

“You two keep watching each other, but you’re not talking. What’s going on.”

You can’t keep from glancing over at the table…again. You weren’t aware of him taking any interest in you though.

“We had an argument the other day. I think I fucked things up.”

She pulls a face, comically surprised. “I would have guessed the other way around, but okay. You push him too hard or something?”

“Something like that.”

Glancing back over her shoulder at Joel and then back at you, Maria gives you her lawyer face. “He’ll come around. Tommy says he’s the last person to apologize for anything and if he does, you know it means a big deal. But if you’re willing to extend the olive branch first, that can go a long way.”

“Well, maybe not tonight,” you sigh, stealing a glance, watching as he drains his glass. “He’s had a few.”

But you can’t even convince yourself, handing your drink to Maria as Joel sets down his glass, slaps the table and pushes himself up, leaning forward to wish his buddies a good night. You follow him out of the mess hall like some lovestruck teenager strung out on a last hope.

“Joel. Joel!” Catching up with him halfway down the block, the light and noise from the party still follows as you get out in front of him. “Joel, stop. I have to apologize to you. Please let me.”

Though he’s backlit, you can still make out his tired glare. “Don’t. It’s not necessary.”

“Of course it is. Ellie’s important to you. You're her guardian. It wasn’t my call to make. I’m sorry.”

He waits a moment before throwing you an irritated prompt. “But?”

“But? I don’t know. She was hot in that long sleeve shirt and she showed me her arm–I can’t imagine what she went through. I just felt for her. But I did have a gut reaction when she showed me, Joel. Anyone would, but most wouldn’t hesitate for long. And those bites could get her killed. All I wanted was for her to be free from that. To be a kid. I’d say I wasn’t thinking, but...I was, Joel. Fuck was I thinking. I was thinking about her just being a kid and not getting killed.”

“Is that all?”

“Yeah, I guess. Except… I really don’t want you to punish her for my decision. She loves it out there. She thrives. And if you don’t trust me, my offer stands. Come with us. See for yourself.”

A huffed laugh. “Yeah? Do I get a callsign then?”

Your fatal flaw is jumping to the joke and the playful tease too soon, as you do now, anticipating his forgiveness. “Of course you do, grey fox.”

And that’s when he reaches out, pulls you close with strong hands.

Which would be exhilarating, if it wasn’t too close. And if his breath didn’t smell of cider.

“Why don’t you just take what you want,” he growls, quietly, coldly, jaw set, lips hardly moving.

It’s not fear that pings up your spine–now that you’ve had a taste of his anger and gotten over the initial shock from the other night, you know Joel won’t hurt you, not here, not as part of your found family, he knows better–

It’s bitter disappointment.

“What?”

His grip tightens, digs in. “It’s obvious what you want. Just go ahead. We’re both fucking lonely enough and I’m too old for games.”

He’s right here with you in the dark, his breath on your lips, your fingers twisting into the shoulders of his tshirt…but it’s wrong. It’s so wrong. And it’s hurting.

So you slowly push off his chest.

And the light from the mess hall hits your face again; something there causes his shoulders to drop, causes him to let you go.

A cheer rises up from the celebration that you’ve left behind, that you don’t feel like returning to, but neither can you be alone right now, so it’s likely your only choice.

“I’m not playing games, Joel. I never was. I like you. A lot. Both you and Ellie. I just didn’t want to spook you. But...I also don’t want someone who doesn’t want me. So…maybe I read you wrong. Or maybe we need different things.”

“What do you need?” It almost falls out of him, uncontrolled, unemotional, a gathering of facts.

And your answer comes the same way, surprising you as you’re sure his own question surprised himself.

“A home.”

It’s a quiet night, perfectly warm. You’re sure if you went home right now, the fireflies–the good kind–would be out in the back yard.

Instead, you give him a shellshocked nod–of finality, of punctuation–and follow your feet back toward the light, toward happiness and love that you can’t share at the moment. And you don’t look back.

________

When you don’t show up for family dinner that week, Maria comes knocking the next day.

Knocks, yes, but does not wait for an answer. In sisterly fashion, she makes straight for your wool room and sits calmly on the edge on the daybed there, staring at you as you mend a hole in a sweater.

“Missed you at our table last night.”

“I know.”

It doesn’t matter how hard she stares, you continue to avoid it and concentrate on the work in your hands.

“That was an invitation for you to explain.”

“I’m aware.”

“Girl–”

“I’m not getting along with Joel right now. Ellie has…this thing on her arm that she doesn’t want anyone to know about. You notice how she would wear long sleeves even in the heat? I felt bad for her. So I… suggested…the lye.”

This doesn't faze her. “It was on purpose. And Joel found out. I see.” Leaning back into the pillows with a pregnant grunt, she swings her feet up onto the daybed. “Is hiding helping? You know we all know where you live, right?”

“Are you really putting your muddy shoes on my quilt?”

“So you’re just going to avoid him.”

You squint at the binding. “I’m gonna have to raid the commissary for some better glasses. My eyesight’s getting out of hand.”

“You’re going to avoid us. Me and Tommy and Ellie.”

Letting out a huge sigh, you concede to her tenacity because she won’t stop until she gets what she wants. “For now.” When her tongue clicks, you finally look up. “Listen. I apologized and he’s still mad. I agree with you that he’ll get over it, but he hasn’t yet, and that means I haven’t either. And I’m not as good at turning on my bitch face as that one is.”

“So we shouldn’t expect you next week either.”

“Nope,” you pout, tackling the sweater again with focused frustration. “I traded with Goldie. Going out a week early.”

“You’re running away.”

“I’m stressed out and I need to not be here, yes!” You admit, throwing down the knitting. “What is the big deal? I don’t have to get along with everyone in Jackson! You don’t!”

You understand that flat look from her, known it since you were kids. She’s counting to 10, giving you the chance to calm down so one of you can speak the truth and speak it calmly.

“But you want to get along with Joel.”

Of course she was going to say that. Because it’s what you’re thinking and not wanting to say out loud and she can read you like a book.

“Yeah. I really do. You know I do.”

“Okay,” she says, pushing herself up with effort and crossing the room to kiss her fingers and press–nay, slap–them to your forehead before heading out. “Go on and go to your happy place. Go calm down in your little clubhouse. I was just worried about you is all. Brought you leftovers. They’re on the counter.”

“Thanks. You’re too good to me. As always. Love you.”

“I know. As always. Love you too.”

________

At the end of the week you’re up early, your pack and rations slung over your back, pistol on one hip, making your way to the stables while the town’s still quiet, before anyone can notice you going. Your boots crunch on the dirt road in lieu of the birdsong from those lazy bitches not even up yet, the dawnlight casting Jackson in blues and blacks, like a new-world mid-era Picasso.

The problem is, you know all of these blues and blacks, all these shapes and shadows. There’s a new one this morning, something leaning up against the stable door.

And it’s shaped like a fourteen year old girl with a couple of bags.

As you approach, Ellie tips away from the wall, standing upright, waiting until you come to a stop in front of her.

“Joel said I could go with you.”

“It’s a week early.”

“Yep.”

It’s too early in the morning for exasperated sighs, but here you are. “Maria or Tommy?”

“Tommy.”

“Figures. Big fucking mouth.”

“Yep.”

She waits patiently for it to sink in.

Once it does, you pull the walkie off your belt.

“Meadowlark to Chickadee. ETA 30, towing a Starling in behind me.”

________

“So what did you say to him to get him to change his mind?” Ellie takes your fishing rod so you can pull off your boots and roll up your pants.

“Me? I figured it was you said something.” Wading out into the stream at this little ripple point is harder than it looks. The rocks are sharper here, full of crannys that are equally as good for fish to hide in as they are to turn an ankle. It doesn’t help that the setting sun is throwing shadows that make it harder to determine what’s what. “I haven’t talked to him in weeks. Not since Bear’s wedding. Keep that line taut.”

“According to Maria, you haven’t talked to anyone lately.”

“I had knitting to do,” a dismissal as you follow the line out into the current. “There are hardly any weeds out here; what did this dang hook snag on? A rock?”

“Well, he finally admitted that masking the scar was a good thing. I told him I want to get a tattoo over it. He said no.”

You laugh, tugging at the line, teetering on a flatter stone. “Of course he did. But that’s a good thing. Tattoo’s a permanent mark. Good to have an excuse to think long and hard about what you’d want. Willa’s great with nature stuff. She could probably do you a bird or a tree or something.”

“I was thinking maybe the moon. Or like, a machete.”

“Of course you were. Oh, oh... hang on, I think I’ve found it.” Reaching down under one of the rocks, you follow the fishing line, but it doesn’t seem to have an end. “Well, where the hell?”

“Uhhhhh,” Ellie points to the water at your feet. “I think it found you.”

A fine red ribbon of blood floats away on the current and you follow it upstream to your foot. More specifically, the inner part of your big toe. “Well shit. Did I just catch my own damn self?”

“Catch of the day!” Ellie laughs. “I bet you fry up real tough. Does it hurt?”

“Didn’t even feel it, water’s too cold. Get your knife and cut the line so I don’t get all tangled.”

Once you’re back on shore and take stock, it’s obvious some tools are needed. “Run and get me the wire cutting pliers, the vinegar jug, and the first aid kit, will you?”

Ellie’s off like a shot on youthful legs, making short work of the errand while you keep your foot in the stream and tend to her line. But once she’s back and opens the kit, her face twists into a frown. “Aren’t there supposed to be bandages in here?”

“What?” Snipping the hook in two you slide it out the easy way as Ellie watches in morbid fascination. “There’s not?”

“Nope. Plenty of cleanser and some needle and thread, but no bandages.”

“Shit. I suppose we never restocked it after Willa set you up. Well, I’ll just have to bleed into my sock for the time being and find something up at the Roost.” Ellie moves to help you, but you hold a hand up and go for the walkie. “Hey. Meadowlark to Goldie.”

The walkie comes to life, garbled, full of noise.

“Goldie? Meadowlark to Goldfinch.”

A couple of seconds pass. “Sorry, Goldfinch here. Was in the tavern and there’s an arm wrestling competition in there. Lots of yelling.”

“Really? Who’s winning?”

“Right now it’s Bear. What’s up?”

“Oh, I never restocked the first aid kit after Ellie’s mishap and we’re needing clean bandages. Can you send some along on patrol tomorrow?”

“Sure. Everything alright out there?”

“Yeah, I just stepped on a fishhook.”

“Well, why the hell did you do that?”

“You know, the usual. Shits and giggles.”

“You do you. Don’t ever change. I’ll send some supplies along.”

“Thanks. Put a wager down on Bear for me. Meadowlark out.”

“Will do. Goldfinch gone.”

“Alright, kid,” you groan, hanging onto her shoulder and pulling yourself up, “Bring in your line and let’s take what we got and get a supper going.”

________

The next day, you drop a few old carrots over the balcony railing. “Ellie! Take these with you! You’ll tame that skittish one sooner or later; keep trying!”

The girl scoops up the veggies and trudges out through the pasture, heavy not with the task of doing the rounds by herself but due to the heat. At least she can wear short sleeves now, even if the bandage gets questions. But you suspect she enjoys the clout and attention she gets out of the burn.

Thank goodness she’s here. Your injury gets angry when you walk. So Ellie's tasked with the rounds and taking stock while you elevate the foot and get caught up on some spinning.

Not that there’s any hurry to do so. As you lean on your arms against the balcony railing a little breeze kicks up. Content for the moment, you let it bring you a little coolness, a little movement, the rising and falling music of this year’s batch of cicadas. The meadow's pretty this summer, all purples and reds, festooned with lupine and Indian paintbrush and the air at the Roost smelling like the pines that grow around it.

“Patrol to Meadowlark.”

Damn. You left the walkie on the table inside. Guess the decision’s been made for you to get your ass moving. That’ll be a delivery coming in and you hobble on over to answer.

"Patrol here. You there, Meadowlark?"

“Sorry. Meadowlark here.”

“Sending Joel Miller in with supplies at the north gate.”

That’s…not what you expected. But…wow. Really? Has your heart stopped, or is it just going really fast?

“Put him on the walkie.”

Who cares what you’re heart’s doing, your face is gonna cramp from the smile.

“Hey. It’s me,” he answers, gentle, penitent.

“Me who.”

“Joel.”

So he's olive branching first. Well, he'll have to earn it.

“Yeah, about that, we have procedures around here. Callsign or bust, sir.”

You can almost hear his eyes rolling, but it sounds like he’s up for the challenge.

“Seriously.”

“Sure.”

“Jesus. This is…Grey Fox. Coming in at the north gate. Happy?”

“I will be. Meadowlark out.”

Tottering gingerly back out to the balcony, you land heavily on the old green broke-down sofa. There’s no need to bring the rifle. Even if he was being pursued by a pack of raging clickers, Joel is certain to carry a gun, and certain to use it confidently.

A few slow minutes tick by in the sun and a cicada buzzes in from nowhere to attach itself to one of the balcony supports. The big bug breathes for a minute, its iridescent wings still twitching with the effort of hoisting that bulky little body.

And then, in your eyeline just past the cicada, there’s movement.

Joel coming out of the north woods.

He’s on foot. Green plaid and jeans wading through the flowered fields. With his shirtsleeves rolled up on purpose to let those brown arms and big hands of his swing. With not just the one, but two rifles on his back? Isn’t that a bit overkill?

Wait. One of them’s not a rifle. It’s…a guitar.

Well. Someone’s planned to make himself at home.

Your smile earns more real estate.

Good.

Soon he’s close enough for you to make out his grey curls shifting in the breeze. Then he disappears under the Roost, only to transform into the sound of heavy footfalls on the ladder.

Propping your chin on your forearms crossed over the back of the sofa, you watch through the front windows as he steps into the room and takes it in with a carpenter’s eye. He stops in silent appreciation, gaze scrolling the woodwork, the joints, posts, slope of the peak. The woodstove catches his notice and he taps the tile beneath it with his boot, his interest trailing up the pipe, squinting at the trap around the exhaust. His bottom lip pushes up in approval and he nods, surveying the windows now…and stops when he sees you.

“Hey there, Cinnamon Roll. Welcome to the Roost.”

A half-hidden smile. Without a word, he untangles himself out of his gear, digging through his knapsack and retrieving a box before coming out onto the balcony and making his way over to you. Swiping a hand through the air, he motions for you to move your knee so he can sit beside you, then pulls your foot up into his lap and takes a look over your makeshift bandage–the sleeve of an old blouse–before starting to unwrap it.

It hurts. But you let him.

"Who told you I needed a first aid kit?"

"Was at the tavern when Goldie got the call. Heard it myself. Where’s Ellie?”

“She’s making the rounds. Just left before you came in."

He grunts an acknowledgement, focusing on your toe, moving it so he can assess the wound a little better. A little wince; he can tell it hurts. Grabbing a tiny bottle of cleansing agent and a fresh bandage, he gets to work.

“Just so you know,” he grumbles, “we don’t have a lot of antibiotics just sitting around. You shouldn’t let this stuff fester.”

He must see your smirk from the corner of his eye. He matches it with his own.

“You using my words against me now, Dr. Miller?”

“Not at all. Just passing on some valuable knowledge that was gifted to me.”

He works quietly, carefully wrapping the toe, then your foot, splinting it in a way that should make it easier to walk on. Obviously not the first time he’s cared for a wound. He must have seen a lot out there in his wilder days.

“This one was truly an accident. For real this time,” you attest.

But his smile burns off to the stone underneath.

His sincerity precedes him. “I’m sorry.”

An apology. From Joel Miller. For what? Not trusting you? Keeping Ellie away? Speaking to you the way he did? You assume it’s all of the above. But it isn’t necessary to ask for clarification; you only want to put the missteps behind you and get on with leaning on each other.

“You’re staying, right?”

He nods once to you, then to the sofa. “This where I’m sleeping?”

“I mean, if you want one of our beds, that’s fine, you’ll just have to fight us for it. In which case, you might as well give up now.”

“No, it’s okay. It’ll be like sleeping under the stars.” He stares out at the mountains over the meadow, watching the shadow of a cloud roll over it, your foot warm between his hands, a thumb absently rubbing at the bandage. “This is nice out here. Quiet. I’m not used to it. But it’s good.”

“Yeah, I’ll admit I do better with some wide open spaces. And fewer people to share it with.”

Two lines form above the bridge of his nose. “Ellie told me about your ranch. Your family. I’m sorry to hear it.”

“It was a long time ago.”

“Doesn’t mean it isn’t worth being sorry.”

He's got you there. “Everyone’s lost something. Someone. Several someones. The whole world’s a little sorry. But I appreciate it. It means we’re all in it together, those of us left." You make a study of him, his solemn nod, the way the sun glints off his watch. “I’m glad you took me up on my invitation, Joel. It’ll be nice having you here, being out here together.”

And then he turns to you, making his own study of you, as if watching your clouds roll away too.

“I agree.”

________

“Now, the E7 is the same as the E, you just pick up that third finger. Good. Now let’s do a three-four, E7, A, E.”

As the sun starts to set, your eyes have had enough of the spindle for one day and you’re cleaning up while Joel and Ellie muck around with his guitar out on the balcony. She’s a quick study, even if some of the chords are more difficult than others for her small hands, and it’s obvious he’s been working with her on it for a while.

Using a walking stick that Joel made from a pine branch–stripping the bark and wrapping one end with duct tape for a sliverless handle–you put together a little plate of berries and cheese, sling a thermos full of sun tea under your arm, and head out to the balcony.

“That's it. Thumb, wrist, wrist,” Joel coaches Ellie in a waltz strum as you hand off the treats to him and take a spot at the railing for one last survey of the meadow before the twilight goes. “That’s good. Keep that up, just like that. Hey there, songbird,” he drawls at you, “you know any Hank Williams?”

Rather than turn to him with a smile, you give it to the meadow, but let him hear it in your voice. “Do I? My dad grew up in Montana in the 50s and 60s. What do you think I was raised on?”

“Well go on then. You should know this one.”

Now that you’re truly listening and realize the chords he’s been working her through, you certainly do.

Ellie must have told him how you like to sing out here. So you do.

“Hear that lonesome whippoorwill, He sounds too blue to fly. The midnight train is whining low, I'm so lonesome I could cry.”

Joel encourages Ellie to keep going, and to add a B7 in at the end. “Go on,” he prompts to you when you turn around, smiling blithely as his two girls make him a pretty song to listen to.

“I've never seen a night so long When time goes crawling by. The moon just went behind the clouds To hide its face and cry.

“Did you ever see a robin weep When leaves begin to die? That means he's lost the will to live; I'm so lonesome I could cry.”

“The next verse is the last one, so play her out on some single rising notes and hit the final chord.”

Ellie bites her bottom lip and nods, taking the cue, but she doesn’t need to look at her hands anymore as she’s getting the hang of it, and instead smiles as you take on her favorite subject.

“The silence of a falling star Lights up a purple sky, And as I wonder where you are… I'm so lonesome I could cry.”

Her outro could use a little work, but it suffices and you give her due applause. “How are those fingers doing?”

She takes stock of her hands. “Look. Calluses.”

“You’ve got some work to do before you can call those welts calluses,” Joel teases.

“Well, I think she’s earned a treat. I didn’t bring those out here for you to hoard ‘em.”

Ellie balances the guitar against the arm rest and Joel hands over the plate, stealing a cherry and popping it into his mouth. Bringing her feet up, Ellie rests the plate on her knees and settles against Joel’s shoulder, smiling, content, proud of her progress, eating her reward and watching the night come on.

It’s such an intimate father-daughter scene that you’re about to go indoors and let them enjoy the view together. But then Joel moves his foot slightly as if to block your path. Catches your eye. Drapes his free arm over the back of the sofa and glances pointedly at his free shoulder, then back at you with a jerk of his head as if to say, You too, get in here, this one’s yours.

You do not have to be told twice.

Settling in with a long sigh, you don’t pay much attention as Ellie starts recounting everything she knows and doesn’t know about the first moon landing. You’re more interested in the way your cheek fits into Joel’s shoulder, and how his arm lays heavy and warm over yours, how his chest rumbles when he answers Ellie’s questions and laughs at her sass. How the shadows spill over the butte and pull through everything until they are everything.

And you notice how the moonlight reflects off the plate in Ellie’s hand, off the tuning keys of the guitar…and yet…it’s missing in one place it should be.

Joel’s wrists are bare.

Joel is laughing. And his wrists are bare.

________

Picking up his watch where it’s been living on the little table all week, you pack it into Joel’s knapsack on the last morning before heading out.

“Goldie’ll be here soon. You see Joel come back from the rounds yet?”

Ellie shakes her head as she’s packing her bag. “Nope. Went out an hour or two ago. You want me to go get him?”

Taking his bag and your own to the balcony, you throw them over the side to the forest floor below. “I’ll go. Been on my ass all week. I could use the walk.” You hand her the walkie on the way out, trusting her to take the incoming hail.

Fastest way to find someone on rounds is to walk the opposite direction, so you head south to the stream.

You don’t have to go far.

A group of sheep have gathered in the grass halfway between the Roost and the water, lazing peacefully as if gathered for a little tea party, and you can guess what they’re all discussing.

There, in the middle of their protective huddle, is the man you’ve been waiting for all this time; shoes off, one arm slung above his head, asleep in the sun and the warm, fragrant grass, as if he grabbed your description of the meadow and ran with it, needing the nap of a lifetime.

At first you keep your distance, not wanting to startle him. But then you realize that it might take more than your approach and a couple soft bleats from a lamb to wake him.

Especially with his good ear turned to the ground like that.

Safe. Warm. Content.

Goldie will be coming soon, but you’ll be able to see her from here. No need to wake him yet.

There’s time enough to just sit and shade his face from the sun, watch the steady rise and fall of his hand on his belly, and whisper a little prayer of thanks to the earth and wind and sky–hell, even to the sheep–that Joel and Ellie found their way to Jackson.

And that you found your way to them.

Good. Everyone's got a good reason to keep going then.

________

Lyrics from "I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry" by Hank Williams

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NEXT: AUTUMN

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(artwork by @stealyourblorbos)