#The quality is so bad I’m going to explode and die btw

[autumn-may]

Gotta show some respect to the two people in charge of transing my gender

(Soras also here :])

[thegoodomensdumpster]

I WATCHED GOOD OMENS IN FRENCH SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO

and it wasn’t that bad. Here are my thoughts, barely edited as I wrote most of them while watching the show.

EP 1

OK i like god’s voice so far

possibilité d’embarras gastrique is a good formulation, I wonder if it’s the same in the book ( I think I kinda need to read it in french now...)

aghghdhgs « primo-délinquants »

of course subtitles don’t match the audio for a variety of technical reasons but when you get things that have very different underlying meanings i find it… not good This one about Crowley being evil / a demon : subtitles : « c’est ton travail » - « it’s your job » audio : « c’est dans ta nature » - « it’s in your nature » i mean dang

crowley sounds like a little shit asking az about his sword

« T’AS FAIT QUOUA » - he just loses his shit (kinda giving me some le coeur a ses raisons vibe)

ok crowley sounds very nerdy when he tries to explain that he took down the phone network, i think i actually like this voice acting

ligur sounds… very suave (im a little ill at ease)

crowley getting called mon chou by satan freddie mercury is a thumb up from me

i see the part where aziraphale speaks japanese wasn’t dubbed over and we can still hear michael sheen. it’s a bit disturbing considering french aziraphale has a higher pitched voice (and he sounds soooo much more anxious than sheen, give this angel a xanax )

“sandwich bœuf cresson” ( beef and cress sandwich ) deirdre really who makes this kind of sandwiches

im being reminded that the chattering nuns prepared little cut outs for their explanation about the antichrist switch… such dedication to useless crafts (it made me laugh on my first viewing and it’s still funny to imagine that some of them either ordered or built these things themselves just so they could make this two minutes long presentation for the most important act of their satanic nun careers)

retire-toi vil démon infernal, créature des abysses XD i swear az doesn’t sound even remotely convinced when he is saying the « get thee behind me foul fiend » line in french, it’s just too over the top for credibility, it sounds like it’s straight out of some super intense dnd session

they still can’t say bouillabaisse (which, like, weird because french, but still valid). nice touch is crowley couldn’t say soupe de poisson (fish stew) either and said poupe de soisson (sish ftew)

warlock mah boy how can you be a teenager and not like dinosaurs

c’est un dinosaure un nullosaure plutôt - apply burn heal

La façon dont warlock s’est exclamé « C’EST NUL » m’a fait penser au nain de naheulbeuk

the english version has nothing on french speaking aziraphale for the second hand embarrassement during the magic tour. it’s over 9000 i literally hid my head in my jumper when he was presenting harry the bunny. Horrible experience, 0/20, would not recommend

EP 2

oooh agnes has a lovely voice !

why is young newton having such a quality dub for the three sentences he has to say

dick turpin’s name is jesse james (tbf dick turpin is not known AT ALL in france, i discovered him reading good omens)

shadwell is pure chaos (as expected). No particular accent for him though, the chaotic energy was probably enough. Would have made me laugh if he had like, a chti or a marseilles accent.

aziraphale is so fucking stressed out by crowley’s driving i thought he was gonna explode

« tu es un gentil garçon » => « you’re a nice boy » said az to crowley DANG THAT’S SO INFANTILIZING AZIRAPHALE YOU’RE TALKING TO A DEMON FROM HELL NOT TO PINOCCHIO

ARGH FIRST MON ANGE OF THE SERIES i’m hit straight in the heart

anathema’s mom doesn’t have a spanish / latino accent at all when talking in spanish…. why...

dog being called toutou is definitely adorable (it’s basically « doggy » but way cuter imo)

tickety-boo has become ça gaze. that’s valid. it’s corny but i still use it unironically from time to time so ... i stan

EP 3

« je répands la fomentation » « i’m here spreading foment » « quoi tu fais des crêpes au froment ?????? »  « what you’re making crêpes with wheat ??? » love the fact that we shoehorned in one more ref to crêpes

az called crowley mon cher camarade, unintentionnal communist propaganda ftw

« pas de repos pour les… bah, pour les bons » « no rest for the… good »  – az was so deflated about the ineptitude he realized he was saying, he felt zero percent commited to his sentence

i was wondering how they would play aziraphale not being able to speak french in the bastille and they opted to have him stutter a bit and say to his executionner « excuse me i’m anxious » XD

« vous êtes le 999e aristo à mourir par mes soins. Mais vous êtes le premier en costume beige » « you’re the 999th aristocrat I’m going to kill, but the first one in beige attire » yeah i guess now that az isn’t english anymore his most noticeable feature is his cream aesthetic

« c’est au cas où ça tournerait en eau de boudin » « j’ADORE le boudin » => « in case it all goes pear shape » - the literal translation featuring food in french is « turning into black sausage water ». I don’t know what pear shaped inspires to english native speakers but the mere mention of boudin always make me giggle, it’s such a funny word and such a funny food

OH !!! no terrence rampa for the tv series, we’ve got anthony J. rampa. Rip terrence petit démon parti trop tôt :’(

« tu roules trop vite pour moi rampa » SERIOUSLY i know we can still infer « rouler » (here as in driving, but literally rolling) as a metaphor for their relationship but you could have said TU VAS TROP VITE that would have been so much better argh

has anathema got an emergency stock of potteries to break in case of emotionnal crisis ?

« Rampa, un démon très futé, il m’oblige à redoubler d’effort » « crowley, a very clever demon, he forces me to make double the amount of effort » oh so admitting you’re making an effort there aziraphale ? :))))))

dang i really want to know how shadwell said that major milk bottle died because not only did he die in combat but aziraphale’s reaction is a bit intense, it must have been quite a tale (this could be a crack fic prompt : «The Epic Tale of the Death Of Major Witchfinder Milk Bottle, by Sargent Witchfinder Shadwell» )

des sorcières et des phénomènes sorciéreux x)

CROWLEY CALLED AZIRAPHALE DUCON ?????? EXCUSE ME ????? #NotMyCrowley #CrowleyWouldNeverDoThat  #CancelAnthonyJRampa2K20  => ducon would be an insult, the gathering of du and con, con being a very nasty but common swear word, and associating it with du- makes it extremely patronizing. it’s like « absolute pathetic digraceful moron +++ ». thanks i hate it *frowny face *

EP 4

l’apocalypse c’est pour aujourd’hui juste après le goûter : it could be translated as « apocalypse is scheduled for today right after tea time » except that « goûter » is not quite tea time but rather the little sugary snack kids take when they come back from school and that most adults drop out of (i haven’t and i’m sure az hasn’t either). thanks aziraphale for having exclusively food related notion of the time because tbh same

ligur has no right to be this sexy between ariyon bakare and his french voice actor that’s just not allowed

radio crowley’s voice vs french ligur’s voice, who has the sexiest voice : FIGHT

(jk french agnes nutter’s voice is by far the sexiest)

gender neutral doesn’t ‘quite’ exist in french but pollution has been assigned a female voice actress and masculine pronouns (i’m saying it doesn’t quite exist because officially we have no gender neutral, but it’s a serious wip among lgbt+ circles to the point where it’s started being used in a few medias)

hastur « en attendant qu’un plombier vienne » / « while waiting for a plumber to come » does hell have a special plumber unit or do demons have to call on human plumbers for their pipes damages ? Dang hastur having to call a human plumber for hell’s plumbery is another damn good writing prompt for a crack fic

Michael is called Michel in the subtitles but Michael in the audio *shrug emoji*

EP 5 

to get a wiggle on has become « il faut qu’on se remue les fesses », literally « we need to shake our butts » like, yes, se remuer les fesses is a common expression to say « we need to act in order to get things done » but it really casts the image of people shaking their booty to some music and obviously crowley thinks the same Weirdly enough I have almost nothing to say for that episode. Sorry. But we’ve discovered most voice actors and actresses so far and no bit of dialogue really struck me as worth discussing or pointing fingers to mock it.

EP 6 

« on va BROUTER quelques derrières » - « we’re gonna lick some butts » OK THIS IS UNQUESTIONNABLY FAR SUPERIOR IN FRENCH THAN IN ENGLISH you thought LICKING butts was good ??? you really thought that ???? AZIRAPHALE HERE SUGGESTS TO GRAZE BUTTS. TO NIBBLE THEM. TO EAT THEM. TO. MUNCH. ON. THOSE. BUTTS!!!! not just licking, guys. This is as serious step beyond licking. (oh yeah he should have said « botter » instead of brouter btw, which is really just kicking, fyi)

« moi je crois en la paix, pétasse ! » wow, language, pepper (fyi i think « pétasse » is far far worse than « bitch » even if it means roughly the same, pétasse is almost never used while bitch is rather common, so it’s a swear word +++)

Dagon sounds like she’s got a nasty cold. #GetDagonIbuprofen2K20

I can confirm that Crowley offers Aziraphale to not just stay at his place, but to move in with him. « tu peux t’installer chez moi si tu veux ». omg they were roommates.

Bad translation strikes again : i don’t know why, but the french dub doesn’t have the « tickety-boo » / « ça gaze » being referenced as Rampa / Aziraphale is being knocked down, which is… a real mistep. It was narratively significant and I’m quite mad the translators missed it.

The Jesse James explanation from Newt has become very nonsensical, instead of the neat and to the point pun « wherever I go I hold up trafic » we’re getting a circonvoluted « because it’s a crime to mechanic’s diligence ». I’m not judging that one too hard, I have no idea how to make it better, and that’s probably how it was translated in the book as well thirty years ago, but it definitely doesn’t have the same impact. On the other hand, it definitely IS a very bad joke that doesn’t even deserve a chuckle, so Anathema’s embarassement really matches the audience’s (aka mine).

OVERALL :

I wasn’t convinced by Crowley… I mean, Rampa’s voice at first, but as the nerdiness showed up it really grew on me. I still think that french dubs have often problems with some voice inflexions every here and there, and for instance in Rampa’s case it was when he was annoyed or frustrated ( at the Globe when complaining about horses and Shakespeare’s plays that aren’t comedies, and also when discussing Azirphale’s magic tricks, it’s like… there is a step between having the right amount of grumpy complaining and overdoing it that is overlooked. It’s overacted, it should have been a bit quieter imo. I don’t mean to criticize voice actors too hard either but as an audience watching french dubs this is a very recurring problem and it always feels off to me. It’s actually one of the main reasons I avoid french dubs whenever possible.)

I have a hard time judging Aziraphale’s voice dub because it clashes so much with both the idea I had formed with it when I read the book and Sheen’s delivery that I just… kinda filtered it. It was too high pitched for me, and too anxious (though for this last point I must admit it could be funny at times, but I’m not fond of this character portrayal). The rest of the cast was rather good, nothing to complain about. There wasn’t anything stellar either, but everything that needed to be conveyed was and it was professionnal. It was also very homogeneous, no voice really struck me as being way too bad or way too good compared to the others, so it was really consistant.

So I don’t have much to complain about overall despite a few wonky translations here and there, BUT there is one thing I felt very robbed of : Crowley calling Aziraphale « mon ange » happens only once, when giving a lift to Anathema, and I’m almost certain they translated it that way because otherwise the joke about Anathama mistaking them for a couple wouldn’t work. So, they were forced to make it that way. The rest of the time Crowley calls Aziraphale « l’angelot », and despite being literally translated by « little angel », it feels sarcastic more than anything else ( the « L’ » in front of « angelot » is part of the reason why, it creates some distance, the other reason being that this word in itself has a very corny vibe and people being affectionnate to each other wouldn’t use it as a term of endearment). So, that’s a shame.

I like the English dub much much MUCH better than the French, but the french wasn’t nearly as bad as I was expecting it to be. The voice actors and actresses were quite good, the dialogues mostly faithful and endearing despite a few really missed steps. It really had its moments. Props to brouter des derrières, that one was fantastic.

[kagehinataboke]

if you’re still taking kiss prompts can you do todobaku a kiss out of spite or envy with jealous bakugou? Ur writing is amazing btw thank u for blessing us with quality tdbk food 🙏🙏🙏

aww thank you dear uwu, i’m more than happy to provide y’all with that good fucking food 💯👏🏻

we have todobaku: a kiss… [46/47] out of envy/jealousy and spite

hope you enjoy it hon c: i put a lot into this one just for you hungry tdbk fans (^.-)~

*

Bakugou doesn’t usually like to spend weekends at U.A., but his parents are out of town this month and he’s being forced to remain in the dorms. That would be completely fine—if fucking shitty Deku and Icy Hot weren’t there, too. Todoroki apparently stays every weekend, which isn’t surprising given his fuckface of a dad. But Deku is staying to keep him company, and it pisses Bakugou off an unusual amount.

He’s sitting in the commons trying to stretch, and those two dunbfucks keep making noise from the kitchen. Whatever the fuck they’re doing, every giggle from Deku sets Bakugou further over the edge. Why did that nerd have to stick around? If it was just the two of them, he could—

Bakugou stiffens and cuts off the thought, nearly popping his knee out of place when he straightens it too quickly. Shit. Could what? What would he want to do if they were alone?

Fuck, what the hell is this gross feeling? He’s not jealous… He could never be jealous of Deku. But if that’s really the case, why is his chest so tight? His forehead twitches every time he hears another crash from the kitchen—and maybe that’s because he wants to be the one out there. How can Deku talk to Todoroki so effortlessly, he stews over. How does he do it?

There’s one more (especially loud) crash, and Bakugou grits his teeth. That’s it: he can’t put up with this shit anymore. Midoriya has a damn house and an awesome family and can get the fuck out.

“What the fuck are you two doing?!” Bakugou yells, storming into the kitchen on the warpath. The metaphor is fitting, because it looks like a flour bomb has gone off: it’s fucking everywhere, floor to ceiling, and even in Todoroki’s hair. The two morons both look up like wild animals caught digging through garbage, Deku holding a flattened flour bag in one hand.

“We… we were just trying to get the flour,” he supplies quietly, flinching when Bakugou snatches the crumpled bag and throws it in the garbage. “Um… Sorry, Kacchan…”

“Shut the fuck up and go home already,” Bakugou orders, retrieving a broom. “I’m going to clean this up.”

“You can’t just kick me out—“

Bakugou silences him with a glare. “Now, Deku.”

Deku gives in surprisingly quickly, murmuring a muted apology to Todoroki before leaving the kitchen, trailing flour across the floor. Bakugou starts sweeping, but it’ll take years to clean everything up. The flour has seeped into every crevice in the entire kitchen. How the fuck did they even do this?

“I’m sorry,” Todoroki says after a moment of loaded silence, lingering behind him. “I’ll help you.”

“Fuck off,” Bakugou grumbles. He tries to step past him to get the dustpan, but Todoroki grabs him by the wrist and presses his back against the counter. “Get off me, dammit. The flour—“

“What’s wrong with you?” Todoroki interrupts, staring so intently at him that it’s unnerving. “What was that about?”

It’s hard to think when he’s being cornered, so Bakugou reverses their positions to make himself feel better. “As if you don’t know, fucking up the kitchen and making so much noise and being so casual with—“ He cuts himself off in the nick of time, releasing Todoroki’s wrist to grab the dustpan from behind him with a click of the tongue. “Whatever. Just back off.”

The fight isn’t over: Todoroki grabs him again, the dustpan clattering to the floor. Bakugou tussles with him before losing his balance on the slippery floor. They both go down, sending a mushroom cloud of flour into the air.

“Get off me!” Bakugou growls, trying to push Todoroki’s weight off his chest. He won’t budge an inch.

“I won’t move until you talk to me,” he insists, expression annoyingly earnest. “You had no reason to treat Midoriya like that, and—“

Bakugou growls in frustration and roughly throws him off, sending up another cloud of four. He pins Todoroki in the midst of the white mess, coughing it out of his lungs. “Don’t. You really want me to fucking say it? I don’t like that shitty nerd hanging around.”

“I don’t understand.” Todoroki blows floury hair out of his face, holding onto Bakugou’s wrists where he’s grabbing him. “Are you—“

“Stop.” Bakugou is forced to release one of Todoroki’s arms in order to cover his mouth. “Shut up. I don’t want to hear anything else from you—“ Todoroki licks his hand and Bakugou shrieks, yanking it away quickly. “Ew, what the fuck—“

“Got you.” Todoroki hits his elbow, knocking him off balance and once again reversing their positions. The back-and-forth is growing old. “I can’t read your mind, Bakugou. Tell me what you’re really thinking.”

“Get off me,” he grumbles, stubbornly averting his eyes. “Fuck, there’s fucking flour everywhere. Move.”

“Talk,” Todoroki demands. “I won’t move until you—“

Bakugou knees him in the chest mid-sentence, scrambling across the floor to get away. Recovering quickly, Todoroki grabs his ankle and drags him backward. He yelps when Bakugou kicks off his hand, but he uses his quirk to make the floor icy, slipping him when he tries to get up. “Really? Are you fucking crazy?! Let go!”

“You never talk to me, so why are you acting jealous?” The words shock Bakugou into stillness, and Todoroki seizes the chance to pin him down again. “What, do you like Midoriya?”

“That shitty bastard? I’ll fucking kill you.” Bakugou closes his eyes so he doesn’t have to look at him, struggling to hold back the explosion of feelings he wants to let out. He’s held them back for too long to give in now. “Why can’t you mind your own business and leave me the hell alone?”

Todoroki ignores him again. “If you don’t like Midoriya, that logically means it’s me. You like—“

“Shut up!” The bomb goes off, and Bakugou surges up to wrestle Todoroki to the ground. They’ve almost cleared the flour away with how many times they’ve disturbed it. Unfortunately, Bakugou can’t stop the flow of words pouring out of his mouth. “So I fucking like you, is that what I should say? Seeing you with Deku pisses me off. Seeing you with others pisses me off. I like you but I can’t even talk to you. Is that what you want to hear, huh?!”

Todoroki stares at him in startled silence, but Bakugou’s blood is still boiling with spite and frustration. His grip on Todoroki’s wrists tightens, trying to talk himself out of it even as he kisses him. He tastes like flour, and Bakugou feels like he has to sneeze because of it, but it’s impossible to stop. Anger and jealousy and hate and so many other things are mixing in his chest and exploding across his tongue—and then Todoroki’s.

Fuck. No, this is bad. He’s been holding back his feelings for so long, and all it takes is one loaded look to break him. He can’t let his emotions boil over so easily…

Bakugou forces himself to pull away, leaving Todoroki gasping and both of them coughing out lungfuls of flour. “Fuck,” he says under his breath, wiping a mix of saliva and flour from his lips. “Shit. Pretend… pretend that didn’t happen.” He feels his heart stop when he notices the blush creeping up Todoroki’s neck. “It didn’t happen! Shit.”

“Are you kidding?” Todoroki’s face splits into a smile that absolutely kills Bakugou’s rationality. He’s never seen it before, and fuck, if it isn’t breathtaking. “You should get jealous more often. That was… whoa.”

“We just assaulted each other in a kitchen, we’re fucking covered in flour,” Bakugou mutters, “and you choose the words ‘that was whoa’?” He can’t help but snort. “You’re not as cool as everyone thinks.”

“But you like me.” Todoroki’s stupid smile makes Bakugou want to die. Why is he revealing it now, of all times? How unfair. “You like me.“

“Obviously: I wouldn’t kiss someone I didn’t like, you dipshit.” Bakugou sighs and collapses, admitting defeat. His feelings are being accepted: he isn’t being pushed away. Todoroki is holding onto his arms and smiling and it’s making his head spin. What kind of sappy rom-com shit is this—and why does he like it so damn much?

“Yeah, okay,” Bakugou murmurs eventually, pushing himself up to lock eyes with Todoroki again. It feels liberating to finally be able to say what he’s been holding back for so long. “I like you. I really like you.”

[piracytheorist]

My Notes on Rewatching “Call Girl”

I amuse myself by thinking that watching this film is an important rite of passage for anyone who’s an all-in Colin fan, as in, one who’ll watch anything and everything he’s in, no matter the content, theme or quality.

I actually used to think that this was a pretty bad movie... but, as you might have seen from my last few posts, I recently realized this isn’t the case. Sure, it is not your average short film, but breaking it down you realize it’s doing most things right from a filmmaking point. I mean, you don’t have to love it, but it does a great job overall.

And I mean, it’s got Colin in it. How bad can it be? ;)

Beware of spoilers, if you haven’t seen the film. And if you do wanna see it, here it is :D

~

I'm still surprised that... this is it. That's Colin freaking O'Donoghue right there. The pirate. The cowboy. The astronaut. The man the myth the legend.

Ah, early 00's.

Wait. Ok let's make a breakdown of the decoration here. There's: 1) a heart anatomy poster 2) a frame with an undiscernible picture 3) IS THAT AN ASTRONAUT FIGURE? dun_dun_dun.mp3 4) a small penguin (?) plushie with a nautical (?) hat on it 5) are those... mantis figurines stuck on the sides of the screen????

Oooooh boy you sure have some very specific decorations on your desk.

The music stops abruptly when Brendan's mother calls out to him to not close the door because she wants to see him studying. That's interesting. Also how old is Brennan supposed to be? Is he supposed to be in high school, or an adult in college? What was the age of consent in Ireland in 2003?

This vibe, though. White perfect shirt and dark vest...

The look of "I'm gonna look at hot girls with my bedroom's door open while my parents argue across the hall" ALSO YES THAT'S A MANTIS

This just makes me laugh so much. Can you imagine sweet innocent (mostly) virgin Brendan typing it and his heartbeat skyrocketing?

Seriously though, that "Welcome back Brendan" thing. With one small addition you add a whole point in his backstory about him trying to deal with his urges.

Jesus I have forgotten so much. As soon as Brendan hears his mother coming, he immediately clicks "Dump her" on the "Virtual Babe" and it just... explodes. 

With a full low-quality boom sound effect to boot. Like seriously if you were trying to hide why the f have your speakers on. You had one job, Brendan.

A rare glimpse into Brendan's room, and I'm trying to understand what the pattern on his sheets are. Maybe I'm just confused by the astronaut figurine, but it looks... vaguely... about space? Like, if you squint, the circular thing on the top left looks like Saturn's rings. No?

Also, Brendan's mom being obsessed with disinfection. That was 2003.

"I don't want filth getting into my house while I'm gone." And two hours later, her son has sex on her bed.

Oh wait, his father says "The only contact [Brendan] has with the outside world is through that bloody computer of his," in a... weird, tone? Like he's trying to placate the mother's fears of any rave party suddenly taking place in the house, but also with his tone (and maybe by using the word "bloody"? idk I'm no native speaker but it piques my interest) it doesn't seem like he's very... understanding and/or supportive of his probably very shy and/or socially awkward son.

Mom: That reminds me, block off the internet, will you? Dad: *scoffs* Why not lock him in a tower while you're at it?

He is sassy though!

Lookit him though! So sad he won't be able to create and look at Virtual BabesTM while his parents are gone.

The parent's accents strike me more towards a British one and I got confused for a bit, but then I remembered that we see Brendan use euros later, lol.

*hatching the plan to search in his father's briefcase for any cards for escort services*

This is where I started feeling that this movie is better than I’d remembered. Like, it does the job of delivering Brendan's guilt over "tresspassing" into his parents room and disobeying his mother, as well as his fear of being discovered, even though he watched his parents drive away, so he'd hear the car if they came back, in a pretty well-done and clear way.

I love how he immediately knows exactly where to look. His father's such an organized fella. Also those pills that he seems to not need immediately (thus leaving them behind for the weekend) are... something. They're put there for a reason and I wonder what that could have been.

There's not even a moment of hesitation, once he opens the briefcase. He doesn't put the card back in, he only looks briefly at his parents' photo but then he's like "Yeah. I'm doing it."

That smile as he sees the card though, lol. 

Casual reminder to have safe sex, lads.

And then the phone operator is like, full business mode. Brendan stutters for one (1) second and she's immediately like, "You want a girl?" She's like, I've had tons of people like you, lad, can't waste my time waiting until you find the courage to ask. You wanna hire or not?

OH MY GOD I JUST REALIZED The operator asks for the address, Brendan gives it, then asks how much does it cost. Then the operator says "Same as usual." BRUH she knew the address from how often his father used the service!

And then poor Brendan checks his savings and his "Uh..." says it all about how he wishes he could hire someone for longer than an hour. Bro, calm down. It's your first time.

And then he's like, waiting all anxiously by the door. I've never hired an escort service but I feel ya dude.

And of course Barbara the nosy neighbor, here to bring us to the edge of our seats, lol.

Look at how organized their fridge is. Why is that chick suddenly so eager to cook something for him? There looks to be so much food already prepared in there.

And dude. This movie has set-ups. Barbara tries to open a cupboard to like pick up ingredients to cook something, and Brendan, with a sudden "No!" rushes in and closes it. It only makes sense later, when we see that that's where he hid the money for the call girl.

Yikes she booped his nose as she left... what is he, ten? I mean even if he's supposed to be a teen here it's still... like... he's not a little boy to fucking boop his nose. No wonder her mother seems to trust her with taking care of him, with how both treat him like he's a child.

Hi there! You're gonna die :D

Shit I just noticed the portrait on the wall. Is that a... is that a fucking ruff collar his mother is wearing???? (btw I had to search to find that term with "shakespeare collar" XD)

I mean... you can't help falling for it. At first you're like, she seems too... simple for a call girl. But then you're like, who else could it be who also knows his name?

I wonder what would've happened if she hadn't asked to use the bathroom, which prompted her to look at his parents' bedroom and him to... initiate contact. Would he have mustered the courage to actually ask her about it or would he have been so flustered until she'd say something? What would she say? "You know, your mother said you would [something]" and he would FREAK THE FUCK OUT because how does his mother know? Would they have stayed there in awkward silence long enough for his mother to call, him to pick up and find out what she was really there for?

I mean, look at that! I'm speculacting the "what-ifs"! Good fucking movie!

That look, though. You suddenly go from "Aw you cute" to "WTF I know you're thirsty for it but that's... creepy"

Look at that smile, though! She is pretty nosy!

I just... I love everything about this. The way she's smiling at nosing in in her boss' bedroom. Him creeping behind her like the future killer that he is, actually scaring her. The way he says "This is my mother's room," so shy and collected. The fucking music, too. How it slowly builds up from the moment she spots the bedroom and it starts developing when Brendan kisses her.

And that kiss. So chaste and shy and yet she's like, wow yeah let's have sex now.

"You're not as shy as you look." LOL

For the pre-sex scene I just wanna link y'all to @killian-whump 's post about it, since it says it all.

Also dude the voicemail is set up from that moment too, but we've yet to hear what it includes, aside from his mother being bossy about the smallest things. "I hope you haven't gone back to bed." IF ONLY YOU KNEW. Not only what bed he's gone to, but also what he's doing on said bed.

"You don't waste much time, do you?" Lol if only you knew. And again his first response is to apologize if he did anything wrong.

And you know what? Plot twists are a hell of a lot of fun and well made when they make you go back and see things with the new perspective. Like, how chill and simple she was, why she said the last line I mentioned, the newly-known reasons why she said it was kinky to have sex in his mother's bedroom... *slams hand on table* That's a great way to do a plot twist! A fucking plus!

Like seriously, this convo: B: Have you met my father? M: No, but a lot of the other girls have though.

Pre-plot twist viewer: Wow whAT how do you say it like that Post-plot twist viewer: Yeah makes sense

M: I think he gets sympathy from them, like, you know, cause his wife's such an old witch... *realizes* Oh, I'm sorry! I shouldn't have said that! *more failed excuses and then THAT face*

And like, that's a bit inappropriate in any case but pre-plot twist you're like WTAF. And then you're like eh makes sense for frustrated employees to pity their bitchy boss' seemingly calm husband...

And there's that set-up from before. Job well done, film.

And then their argument about the money. Brendan being confused about the amount, Mandy saying she'll come back and speak to his mother about it...

Seriously though what if he'd found out the voicemail after he'd had sex and before the "confrontation"? Would he like, have sent her on her merry way with all the money and then had more sex with the actual call girl?

And then his instinct, to try and make sure his mother won't find out, is to fucking threaten the woman with a knife. Wow, a little too much, Brendan. And then his first instinct, when they're fighting, is to search and grab the knife and fucking stab her. Lbr though that's just baby Colin finding his call for playing messed-up characters.

Also how did she die so quickly. Guess I found one weakness in the plot XD

And now you're like Jesus he just murdered her but when Barbara comes a-knocking and he looks at her and exasperatedly calls her name, you're like... same, bro.

And the stupid bastard didn't even wash the blood off his arm. Like seriously, Brendan, either do a murder correctly or don't do it at all. At least you can't say he wasn't dedicated, bro sliced his own arm open. *pats head* you'll learn, my little murderous bean, you'll learn.

Brendan: I was doing the dishes. Barbara: Did your parents leave them for you to do? They must have left in a rush this morning.

Yes, Barbara, he can do the dishes, he's in an undetermined age between late teens and-

Barbara: They didn't even make their bed.

Wtf you nosy bitch.

See what I'm saying? Full character development for a character with like, two minutes of screentime.

And then the voicemail drops like an anvil. My first thought when his mother said that Mandy is nothing but trouble I was like "Yo look who's talking" but then I thought that... yeah she did creep in her boss' bedroom, actually had sex with her son in it, then pretty much talked dirt to him about her... I mean she definitely didn't deserve to die, but maybe his mother was a good judge of character for one (1) moment.

And then Lorraine appears.

And Brendan's like "Now I have money for like, three hours with her. Maybe I'll even convince her to help me hide the body too."

“OR MAYBE I’LL JUST KILL HER TOO.”

In conlusion, yup, I’m pretty glad I spent a good hour and a bit watching, analyzing, writing this review and screencapping this film. 10/10 would rewatch and review again.

[twdmusicboxmystery]

TTD and Other Outside-the Show Stuff

Okay, so this is mostly for anyone who wasn't able to watch The Talking Dead on Sunday night. I know it's difficult for some people outside the states as it isn't always shown or accessible. The did a 2-hour show and then there was the red carpet stuff. We caught a lot of suspicious things throughout.

On the red carpet, Tom Payne made an interesting comment. When asked which deceased character he might bring back, he said, "someone might be back."  

Then, when the TTD part actually started, Chris Hardwick said they would be bringing on deceased characters who "might not be on the show anymore." Okay, I get that they can always do flashbacks, but even when/if they do, the character really isn't "on the show" anymore. So shouldn't he just have said "characters who aren't on the show anymore" ?

Then there were the number (or lack thereof) of deceased characters who appeared. There was SO much hype about them bringing on practically every deceased character who was ever on the show. They made it sound like there would be 20 deceased characters. No, there were like four. The only deceased characters who were actually brought out on stage were Sonequa Martin-Green (Sasha), Michael Rooker (Merle), Scott Wilson (Hershel) and Emily Kinney (Beth).  

Granted, both Sarah Wayne Callies and Steven Yeun did videos because they had other commitments and couldn't appear. And I could MAYBE accept that this is just the way it worked out, except for one thing: there were other deceased characters in attendance that weren't brought out on stage. Like Kyla Kennedy, who was briefly interviewed on the red carpet, and Brighton Sharbino. Why weren't they brought out?  

So we couldn't help but notice that the only deceased characters actually brought out on stage were directly linked to Daryl and Beth in some way. Sasha because of the Sasha/Tyreese Theory. Merle both because of the brother angle and because he was left behind, disappeared, then reappeared several seasons later. Beth/Hershel because...obviously.

It was also suspicious that before they came out, Chris asked Lauren how the memories of Glenn and Hershel affect Maggie going forward. Beth wasn’t mentioned. Because she’s not a memory like the other two are?

M-Nonny also pointed out that the Skybound Account (Official TWD) went out of their way to get a picture of Emily on the red carpet. She's the only one among the deceased characters that they took a picture of. And again, it's totally possible that it simply worked out that way, but she's the only one they went out of their way to take a pic of and then posted it on the account.  

We also noticed that her outfit REALLY stood out among the others. Most of the actors wore shades of black and white, while she wore fuscia. Again, no way to know if it was on purpose or not, but her outfit really drew the eye. At the end, everyone stood on stage together, and my eye just went to her because of the way her colors stood out. I couldn't help it. I felt like that might have been purposeful. (Apologies for the bad quality; my internet was on the fritz when I was trying to get this screenshot.)

And then there was the music stuff.

1. When asked to name a favorite episode, she named 3x01 when she and Maggie sang by the campfire.

2. Chris Hardwick mentioned her music and that she's releasing a new single soon.  

3. When asked what we should expect for this season, Gimple said it would be a "joyful rebellion of life, of death, of MUSIC..." Have they ever said that about a season before?

3. The Weird Al, "Another One Rides the Bus" was mentioned at least twice. (School Bus Predictions) Lots of emphasis there.

So yeah, lots of emphasis on music. "I still sing."

Stuff that has to do with the show:

About the only thing ABOUT the show that caught my attention was when Austin Amelio was asked about what was going through Dwight's head. He said Dwight was working out his hate for Negan and the love for his wife. He said, "It's a powerful potion." It just caught my attention because, once again, it's obvious that Dwight/Sherry mirror Daryl/Beth.

For the Quiz, they emphasized the following:

1. That Daryl caused six explosions

2. That Carol staring at the flowers was a callback to Lizzie/Mica/the Grove (again, why wouldn't they bring the girls out if they were there?)

3. That the RV was blown up using a garage door opener from 7x16. (I don't know if that's important, since the only other garage I can think of is Jessie's in 5b, but I think the emphasis was on the RV exploding. They also included the RV in the "In Memoriam" part.)

4. The colored arm bands, with Orange being for the Kingdom, Green for the Hilltop, and White for Alexandria.

Okay, I think that's it for TTD. It made me happy.  

Next, I'm going to mention Emily's other show, Ten Days in the Valley. 

I know this has already been circulating, but for anyone who hasn't seen it, I’m about to give spoilers for the show. So if you're watching it, but not caught up, and don't want to be spoiled, stop reading now!

…

So on Sunday night's episode, Emily's character Casey was killed off. With a gunshot wound. To the head.  

Seriously? Even if these things aren't being officially coordinated, Emily has to be choosing these roles purposely. I also noticed that Michael Traynor (Nicholas from TWD) played a very small role in Ten Days. So there really may be some crossover there.  

Here are some reactions from the FB group:

@katkhaos: And look: Ten Days can show her dead face while TWD, literally a show about flesh-eating monsters, didn’t.

@sparklepoodles: OMFG LIKE REALLY WHY NOT JUST BETWEEN THE EYES? Can’t believe I’m seeing this--but it’s a sing for Beth coming back?!

@Jabbobo (IG): This is all so weird...

@bluesandbeth: Killing this latest character of hers this way only reminds the audience the way Beth died three years ago, once TWD is back on screen. Come on, they’re refreshing the GA’s minds and bringin EK front and center with all this publicity...

@PC (Group only): So much promotion for only four episodes [of Ten Days]. Emily changed her bio, Casey is shot in the head. Scott Gimple is a producer on TDITV?

(Btw she changed her Twitter bio to no longer reflect Casey from Ten Days, but it still says Beth from TWD.)

I think you all get the idea.

Not to mention, @emily_whitneck_99 (IG) sent this to me this morning. It's from a yahoo interview with Nicotero:

Now, on the one hand, I'm not sure I think Nicotero would actually spoil Beth's return that way. There's a good chance this will be Heath or Sherry. But the excellent point was also made that no one really thinks either of them is dead. I mean, sure, there are people who have theorized that, but the GA doesn't think they're dead in the way they think Beth is. Those two characters are missing, but we didn't see them "die." So why would Nicotero say someone was coming who everyone thinks is dead?

Very suspicious.  

So while overall I kinda think it'll be Heath or Sherry, we can cross our fingers and hope it's Beth.  

And it would be kind of poetic to have her killed off of Ten Days the week before she returns to TWD. If it pans out that way, no way it wasn't planned. If not, better luck next episode.  

As @thegloriouscollectorlady pointed out, there are several specific deceased characters now fresh in the audience’s mind after that TTD special. Which of them is most likely to be alive, hmmm?

So that's where we are on outside-the-show stuff. SUPER excited for episode 2! Thoughts?