#The pain and the angst... It's hard!

[miss0atae]

Random Thoughts about Dream episode 9:

This series is so frustrating! I can't even tell you how much disappointment I had with this episode. I get it they wanted to adapt a book… So make a real adaptation! Take the name of the characters, few plot devices and make something better and new because this is not a good story at all. We are at episode 9 out of 12 and the main characters haven't had a proper conversation about their feelings! The teaser made me think it was a fantasy romance, but it's more like a drama soap opera.

All the misunderstandings and all the problems would have been solved in one episode if these damn characters were really talking… all of them! They need a group therapy with multiple sessions to learn how to do it. This is so frustrating because you can see how this story could be great! The ideas are really interesting and the actors know how to play… unfortunately everything is mixed with stupidity. The characters are stupid! Even the best actors can't save this.

It's crazy to think it's the same studio that produced GAP and The Sign which weren't perfect, but the story and the relationship between the leads were compelling. Here we have the same problems that happens again and again with no solutions. Everyone is begging Kim to tell Wan about her feelings. Same for Wan… but no… they can kiss, they can share intimate moments (we'll talk about that again) but having a proper conversation?! No, it's not possible.

So the first part was about Kim being really angry at her dad and she can't really forgive him because she still hasn't work on the hurt she got when he ran away with Kim's dad. The moms told the fathers they are forgiving them, but they can't forget what happened. It could have been a step for Kim and Wan's characters growth, but I felt like something was missing.

Then Kim and Wan went to the club with their friends. Everyone is telling them to finally be together but no… It never really happens. They are stuck on the same pattern again and again. It's not like they don't have a healthy lesbian relationship around them they can use as an example of what they could have together… but no. They are still holding their feelings for themselves and they always need to be drunk to act upon them.

I'm tired of them needing the help of something to free themselves. I thought since Wan's got therapy she would be more eager to accept her love for Kim and she would try to charm her. However, it's not just Wan who has a problem with her sexual identity, but it's also Kim. She may have admitted she loves Wan, but she struggles to really do anything with this. I don't get her reasoning.

Of course, the thumbnail of the part 3 promised us a torrid moment between Kim and Wan… and we got fooled. Nothing happened! That's one of my problem too. We are always teased, but it's either a dream or the characters don't do anything and it's pretty tame. We had the dream last week and today we got the pretty tame moment. I'm not asking for NC scenes, but don't tease me with them and give me nothing at the end.

Finally, Mawin… I can't with him. He must know that Kim doesn't like him. She can't even hide it properly. So why is he stuck on marrying her?! I really wanted him to be a nice person, but either he is an idiot or he is a manipulative person. Frankly, after this episode I believe it's the latter. Also, why is Wan's mom forcing her daughter to marry someone just because she is afraid of dying?! I get it, she has cancer and she wants her daughter to be happy… but who said being married would bring happiness? I mean look at her own marriage. She wasn't happy in the end.

It feels like both Wan and Kim can't do anything to be together because Wan don't want Kim to go against her mom's wishes and Kim will do anything her mom ask her to do to see her happy. In the end, both women are still prisoners of their parents' wishes who never seems to consider what would be the real happiness of their daughters.

Anyway, I'm sad I didn't like this episode at all. I was really a fan of the series at the beginning, but it's getting harder and harder to enjoy it. I will still watch it until the end because I want happiness for Wan and Kim!

[hinamie]

all i have left

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

MDZS x ISAT part 1: In Stars and Necromancy.

(Part 2)

[shipspainfulships]

1st year:-

James looks at Regulus and with a blinding smile places his hand forward for a handshake, "hello Reggie! I'm James"

Regulus only looks at James with thinly veiled disgust and says "don't call me that" and walks away.

2nd year:-

James, sweaty and tired from the quidditch practice sees Regulus enter the field and yells, "hey Reggie!"

Regulus glares and says "don't call me that" and walks away.

3rd year:-

On his way to class he bumps into Regulus. He pushes his glasses up and his eyes light up to see it's Regulus, "Reggie-"

Regulus harshly moves past James bumping his shoulder into his and walking away he says "don't call me that"

4th year:-

James finds Regulus behind an aclove reading and plops down. "Hey Reggie"

Regulus looks up and then back down at his book "go away potter"

James smiles and doesn't move.

5th year:-

Walking away in a hurry from Potions class James bumps into Regulus

"hey watch where you- Potter what's wrong"

James silently walks away with his head hung and palms sweaty.

6th year (September):-

"hey" Regulus says with a smile when James finds him yet again at the astronomy tower and sits down with him.

"Reggie" James says warmly and rests his head on top of his head, inhaling Reggie's sweet smell.

6th year (January):-

"hey Reggie" James says with a bright smile that vanishes as soon as he sees Regulus' trembling figure approach.

His reggie looks at him with dead eyes and promptly breaks down in front of him.

James holds him as Regulus' body racks with sobs.

Regulus looks up and shows his left hand. There it was. The dark foul magic that made his Reggie look like a ghost, a shell of himself.

"Reggie-" James starts with pleading eyes,

"no, please, don't call me that" Regulus says softly and then walks away.

James breaks down crying.

Sometime during 1979:-

Lily comes up to James and hugs him tightly.

James tenses up. "Wh- what's wrong Lily"

"Regulus"

One word. One name. And all of James world comes crashing down.

nonononononononononononononononono

His light, his star, his Reggie, gone

James doesn't speak for an entire month.

[gummidon]

Do you think they ever got food poisoning?

[aria0fgold]

With a glass body

You bear the weight of the world

Praying for safety

[dykespence]

Imagine being carla connor and you just got in bed with the woman you've had an absolute massive crush on for ages now and then you're IMMEDIATELY turned down and it's like an actual sucker punch to the gut and then you're just thawcked over the head girl cannot just catch a break ??

[littlelightfish]

Welcome Home Mini Comic: Homewarming

⚠️TW: eyecontact

[Read left to right up+down. No wierd combinations. No, I didn't look up their Homewarming clothing if you're wondering. I messed up.]

AAAAAAH oh boy the love I have for Eddie I CANNOT explain. LIKE HES SO LOVELY OUGHHHH favourite local mailman. <3

Idk if I made correct use of the image ID? I hope I did.

Hm... this was suposed to be a ramble about my guy Eddie but here, have a short fic under the cut.

He is just there. Uncomfortable. Very uncomfortable. The feeling of doom is there. Why. Why is home looking at him like that? What is going on? He wants to go home. He needs to go home. Does he have a home? He has his post office... does that count? Why is home looking at him like that. He needs it to stop. Stop. Stop it. Please. Stop. Oh? Who...? Frank? He can't talk. He realizes vaguely. His eyes go up. Frank... He needs to tell him... His vission is blurry and he feels overwhelmed. He feels... overestimulated..? He doesn't know. He doesn't feel good. Too much... he needs to go home... he needs... he...

And Frank gets it and goes to tell Wally that he wants to leave. Leave? On homewarming? Why? What's wrong? Because something has to be wrong if Eddie of all people wants to leave. So he goes check up on him. Of course he does. Barnaby close behind because... Why does Eddie want to leave? They don't know. But he isn't looking great. He is staring. Shaking. Sweating. Crying silently. That doesn't looks good.

Wally gets it. He would like to do the same. Because Home is now looking at him. Because of course it does. Just... staring. Meanacely. He feels the dread. A chill goes down his spine. Home... what did you do to Eddie...?

Barnaby, fortunately, catches up somethings off with Home. And that means Wallys distressed. So he puts a paw on his shoulder and asks Eddie. He doesn't answer. He tells him what he's going to do as he puts his arm to support Eddie and help him walk so he can go home. He is worried. Wally is worried. Frank is worried. Eddie doesn't look good. He shakes. He won't stop crying. He looks... terrified..? He tries to loose up his shirt. He needs to breathe. He can't. But he is. The others realize a bit too late that he is hyperventilating. Wally does only when he sees Eddie's legs wobble. But then he just... shuts down and goes limp. What. What. What. Why. Why. What. What. No. No. No. What. No. Wait. He can help. Yes. Bed. Bed! He needs... yes, yes! He in bed now. He better? What? What? He better? Please... He opens eyes! He better! Low sugar? More sugar then! He bring sugar. Yes. He better now?

Eddie tries to calm Wally with his words. He doesn't know what just happened. He just... sat down at that couch and suddenly was at Wallys bed, all neighbors worrying sick over him. What happened? He just... has this feeling... something changed.

[dirtytransmasc]

[mild tw for marital rape/forced 'consent' its only referenced a little, but it feels necessary to mention it]

imagine Alicent only standing up for herself when Aegon is in the picture. Imagine her talking her son to her chambers cause he's fussy and won't go down for bed and was asking for his mum, and she has him tucked close, blissfully asleep, and Viserys calls for her.

she knows she can't refuse, but she tells the servant he had sent to make him aware of Aegon's state. he still demands that she be brought to his chambers and that the babe go back to his nursemaid. she looks down at her baby, who's now woken due to the disturbance, who is staring up at her with soft tired eyes, a little yawn escaping him.

she doesn't want to go, she doesn't want to be forced to take her husband, to pleasure him at her own discomfort. she doesn't want to leave her son, to have him sent back to bed where he will remain restless and in the care of someone who is not his mother. she had never want to refuse more than she did in that moment.

she hesitates, her facade falters. Aegon is still looking up at her as tears well up in her eyes. he quirks his head at her, fingers reaching for her cheeks as if to comfort her. with a sudden conviction, she takes him in her arms, rising from the bed, requesting a robe and a blanket. when her servant looks at her in question, she clarifies that she will be taking Aegon with her and does not wish to rouse him in attempts to dress him. they look at her with shock, but don't voice the concern written on their faces.

they bring her Viserys's favorite robe. Alicent recognizes it from her time with Rhaenyra and Aemma. she's worn it before, Viserys has made sure the servants bring it to her every time he requests her. she hates the way it feels against her skin, knowing why he makes her wear it. she wraps aegon in his blanket, soft and royal blue, his hands beginning to play with its golden tassles as she tucks him inside her robe, pressed to her chest with care.

even as fear bites at her heels, anxiety churning her stomach, she walks to Viserys's chamber with her held high. she knows she is only asking for her husband's wrath; she knows she should just obey him, but she just can't. her son will not suffer a sleepless night and horrid following day all because her husband feels the need to use her body once more. he will not suffer at his father's hands tonight, even if she has to endure Viserys's anger for it.

she enters her husband's chambers, finding him in bed, in a white night gown, clearly ready to use her; he was never subtle when he asked for her, not even the first time.

she pauses in the doorway, pulling back the robe slightly, making him aware of Aegon's presence. she watches his face fall, barely muted anger. she holds onto Aegon tighter. part of her fears he may hurt her for this disturbance, but more of her fears he will hurt Aegon on her behalf.

"I told the damned servants to take him," his voice is warped and cruel, just an angry scowl of sorts.

"Aegon is not well, dear husband... I could not leave him," she admits before he can say anything else. she puts her foot forward as a mother, hoping to claim mercy from the man who made her one.

he mutters something in response, not quite loud enough for her to hear. she has a feeling she is grateful for that.

"what was it you needed, my dear?" she tries to sound sweet and kind, in attempts to abate his anger, "I'm sure I could still attend to it."

"you know what I wanted," he yelled. it had been the first time he'd truly raised his voice to her. she couldn't help but gasp, stepping back one step, than two, stopping when Aegon began to fuss, curling around him instead.

"Please Viserys, the baby." she ducks her head down to press her against his whispy white hair. her son his huffing, as if about to cry, and she's sure if she could see his face, his little cheeks would be red and his eyes would be crinkled and wet, his lip puckered. she begins to rock him slightly, still afraid to move.

"your'e dismissed," he grunts, but his tone gives it away. she knows he doesn't mean it, the if she leaves she will be in more trouble. she questions staying, calling a servant to take Aegon and giving him what he wants, but decides against it. he would not come before her son, not now, not ever.

"I'm sorry, my dear, another night, when I do not have Aegon to tend to," she forces some cheer into her tone, "he is still so young, so helpless. he needs his mother. I'm sure you understand?"

"he is not the only one in need of you." he had not lost his anger yet. not even for the sake of his son.

"yes, of course. forgive me. only he is not as understanding as you, my love." that wasn't the truth, Aegon was more kind and understanding at a year old, than viserys was in all of his years. "I will leave now. I am sorry for the disturbance."

she pauses for a moment, waiting for her husbands reaction. when he doesn't lash out at her, she breathes a quiet sigh of relief, feeling as though she has evaded a great beast. her heart calms in her chest, slowing from its fluttering and her stomachs stops its dizzing ache. she questions turning and running, fleeing from his presence before he can change his mind, but knows better.

she hurries to his side, eyeing him all the while, each step calculated, avoiding cracking any eggshells, until she is close enough to kiss his cheek. he allows it, and gives Aegon grace when he reaches out for him, letting him play with his finger a moment, before pulling it away, not even turning away fully before sneering. she takes that as her cue to leave, this one being much more genuine than the last.

"goodnight dear husband." he says nothing. she takes Aegon's little hand, waving it slightly, "say goodnight Aegon."

her son tries to imitate her, though unintelligible, as a toddler would. she continues to smile and coo at him even when his father ignores him, not letting him feel his father's scorn, quickly turning towards the door and back to her own chambers.

the second the door is close she feels herself sag, she would have fallen to the floor right then and there had there not been kingsgaurd watching. instead she holds her head high once more, walking calm and steady, like a queen should.

Aegon settles his forehead against her collar, giving a great yawn against her skin. she smiles at him fondly, kissing his brow, earning a tired little giggle from him. it hits her that he is unaware of the trouble he just saved her from. she feels equal parts relief as she does terror; she hopes he never knows, never understands, but is so so thankful for it none the less.

the second she steps into her chambers she pulls of the robe, setting it aside carefully despite the pain it brings her, respecting the memories it carried. she pulls back the covers before smothering her and her son amongst them. he's quick to curl against her, quite tuckered out after their harrowing adventure, even if he was unaware of its true weight. she herself still wanted to cry, but was similarly too tired to keep her eyes open for another moment. tomorrow, she tells herself, tomorrow will be difficult, but tonight you have your son, tonight you have a chance to rest.

so she does, she holds him close, tracing fingers over the gold threaded patterned of his blanket, feeling the shifting of his chest as he breathes and the tickle of his hair against her neck. all is well in that moment. she drifts to sleep at the thought.

[galaxostars]

“Thank you for keeping your promise.”

inspired scene from the fic “Beyond the Heartbeat” by @starsworth

[ac-art-and-stuff]

Imagine Marius goes down in battle. Imagine Lethica, unable to control her fear as something tugs at the emptiness in her mind. Something unsettlingly familiar that she's felt before. Imagine the breaths in between her prayer to Shar to return him to life. Ragged. Pained. Panicked.

Something bright and hot pushes against the cool darkness in her memories. She thinks of the pyre outside of the mines. "By Lathander! By Shar!" She thinks of the vision of Marius in her the burning house while on the roof of the church in Cyril. "No...! No no no! What have I done!? I'm so sorry!" She thinks of the comforting chill of his hands as they danced, her own uncomfortably warm within them. "I'm sorry... for everything; but I've enjoyed every moment with you."

"No no no!" She demands. "Not again!"

I won't lose you too.

I can't erase myself twice.

[bhaal-battle-beer-bard]

ᕓ𝖆𝖒𝖕𝖎𝖗𝖊 Ⳝ𝖕𝖆𝖜𝖓 - "𝕯𝖔𝖓'𝖙 𝖙𝖔𝖚𝖈𝖍 𝖒𝖊"

Astarion poetry - His thoughts as spawn and his suffering,hurt&pain

𝕴 was looking for somebody to save me

I was looking for somebody to bring me back home

I was waiting for someone to take my hand

I was waiting for someone to hold me

Now I don’t want to be touched at all

Forever

Never ever waiting

Never ever hoping

Forevermore

𝖂as I not innocent enough?

Was I not good enough?

Not worth a hero‘s saving?

No saviour

Left for me?

No. Not for me, never for me

Am I not worthy of making it out alive?

My prayers unanswered

Not worth a gods‘ grace and mercy

I was waiting for mortals gentle touch of love

Until my body doesn’t want to be touched ever again

𝕴 was left alone

Scared, cold and naked

I was crying, screaming out loud

Until my lungs were bursting

With my lips closed

Mouth choking full of blood

𝖂aiting for help, looking for love

Longing for a gentle touch, a warm embrace of safety

My body was tossed and turned

Bruised and used

Every touching hand feels like burning fire on my skin

In my soul

Burning it into ashes to the ground

𝕴 am dirty and filthy

Not worthy of a hero’s saving and love

Left in the gutter

Not looking for help

Once I wished to be held

Wished upon a star for the one

To drag me out alive

Now every touch feels like a knife

And don’t want to be held ever again

a/n: @aristenfromwarsaw This is one of the things I told you about, that one I wrote before you told me about your comm. And I found it so interesting and psychic, that we always have similar ideas at the same time 😄😁🤯 Astarion girlies are truly tadpoling 😄

[wrathofrats]

well... how abouuuttt "why dont you ever listen to me?" with a ghoul of your choice, maybe the other ghoul is mad at dew, or maybe dew is upset, maybe because hes been trying to communicate that hes struggling ajd the others havent picked up on it, and he just wants it to stop. idk im not that good at coming up with prompts on the spot but i hope this is a good enough idea!! 🤷

Hi it’s been ….. we aren’t going to talk about how long it’s been.

But I hope you enjoy, yall seem to love when I give Dew problems (don’t worry I love it too)

Slapping aether in here because it hurts

Anyways, cirrus makes a joke, dew needs a hug and aether is a very supportive boyfriend

-

Dew doesn’t know when it began to bother him.

He sat on the couch nonchalantly watching some horror movie cirrus had thrown on. The exorcist? He doesn’t know, he doesn’t think he really cares.

“Careful cir, you’ll give him nightmares” aether teased

“He is the nightmare” cirrus rolled her eyes in a response, a playful smile at her lips. It was a joke.

His chest feels hollow as aether ruffles his hair. Something about it didn’t feel right. A normal quip that would have him saying something stupid in response, or simply giving her the finger, suddenly didn’t have the same feeling to it.

He swallowed heavy, the salvia only added to the pit in his stomach.

It’s a gross feeling, something between knowing he’s overreacting and wanting to cry at the thought that they actually think he’s a nuisance. Both are untrue, the logical part in his brain tries to convince him but it doesn’t stop the tears that sting in the back of his eyes, the flush in his face or the way his head feels like it’s full of starch.

It was a joke.

He’s overreacting, he’s certain of it but he can’t stop himself from getting up and walking away without his usual banter.

“Dew? What’s up?” Aether calls after him, following him into the bathroom.

Dew shakes his head to save his dignity. His voice will shake and crack, he knows if he even tries to say he’s ok a sob will rack his body and he won’t be able to contain himself anymore.

He’s embarrassed because he’s overreacting and he’s clutching the sink as aether puts a supportive hand on his back but it feels patronizing because he knows he’s overreacting and he’s-

“Did we say something?”

Dew sobs. Quick, choked off like it wasn’t supposed to come out because it wasn’t. Because he’s overreacting and he shouldn’t be acting like this. Because it was a joke and he’s making a scene because he can’t help but overthink everything.

“Dew, it was a joke” aether embraces him, lightly to not overwhelm him, but he can’t leave him like this. Dew barely lets go of his vice grip on the counter top to let aether pull him into himself. “She didn’t mean it, we thought you liked jokes like that”

He doesn’t. He’s said that.

Dew shakes his head and pushes away from aether enough to speak.

The crack in his voice makes him wince as he chokes and gasps the sobs back to try and get out what he’s saying without being a complete mess, but it’s pathetic anyways, he feels like a child. The way aether stares in concern makes him feel like a petulant toddler throwing a fit.

“I can’t stand them anymore. I’ve said this”

“Have you?” Aether asks, genuinely. The fact that he’s being genuine almost makes it hurt more. He wishes aether would just let him be dramatic and leave him alone.

“Why don’t you ever listen to me?” Dew all but wails. He’s louder than he means to be, another sob ringing out in the middle of his sentence. Aether looks confused and concerned, like dew has actually lost it this time, over a joke no less.

“I am, I am listening to you droplet, tell me what’s wrong”

It feels patronizing, dew knows aethers not trying to be but the frustration builds anyways.

“I’m tired aeth, I’m tired of you all acting like you hate me. No one ever acts like they genuinely like or want to be around me and it’s fucking heart wrenching” dew cries

“Water bug you know i-“ aether shakes his head, remorseful.

“No, aether you don’t understand. You all keep saying you hate me. It stings. I don’t know what to do I don’t understand why I’m the only one not worthy of kindness” dew clings to aethers shirt like if he lets go aether will disappear and stop listening to him.

“Dewdrop I’m sorry I didn’t know-“

“Stop please just - I don’t get it” dew sobs. He leans his head into aethers shirt, fist fulls of fabric brought up to his face as aether embraces him tightly.

Dew just weeps, a dam of emotions he can’t bare to vocalize comes out in tearful pleas instead.

“I don’t get it. I’m sorry. Please listen I’m sorry. I don’t understand” the demands come out in choked off cries, forceful sounds racking his small frame as aether hugs him tightly to try and get him to stop shaking.

Aether lowers them to the floor, holds dew in his lap and tries to soothe him.

“You’re not being dramatic, I’m sorry. We love you so much and I’m sorry we don’t say that” aether whispers into his hair.

Dew starts to quiet down as aether traces shapes into his back, the distraction well needed. He clings and listens and tries to focus on whatever aether is dragging into his skin with the tip of his fingers.

“So sorry waterbug, you’re ok, I love you so much. You’ve done nothing wrong”

Dew realizes what the shapes are.

He’s tracing hearts into his back.

[s0fter-sin]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Call of Duty (Video Games) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: John "Soap" MacTavish/Simon "Ghost" Riley Characters: John "Soap" MacTavish, Simon "Ghost" Riley Additional Tags: Game: Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 (2009), Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Pre-Relationship, Drug Use, Drugs, Overdosing, Implied/Referenced Sex, Self-Destruction, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Addiction, Bathing/Washing, Requited Love, Pining, Drabble, Ficlet Series: Part 4 of Soft’s Twt Threads Summary:

It's the sound that tips him off.

It's late, half-past hell by his last count, and MacTavish knows there shouldn't be a single soul in the showers this time of night. Though he's sure if he asked, he'd be told there isn’t a soul in there.

Just a ghost.

[adhdgoberrrrr]

✨Ooo✨

So….eve angst. Okayokayokay so yes this thing has audio just not this one… I made a buncha different things with the animation this is just…the animation…? The other things I made with this animation are on my Pinterest and YouTube right now I will put them on here later but uh yeah

[maikry]

🩸⛓️ Marius Damery ⛓️🩸

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.

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Original Character created by Mai.

Featured in original short story “Nightmare” written by Mai.

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