#The only time we ever get a mention of cho sam is a joke of “Chung Myung used to be a beggar tehee” at chapter 400-500+ i forgorwhat chapte

[bananaguyboi]

I love how the fandom collectively agrees that Cho sam is either a wholesome bean that must be protected at all cost, or a normal dude with no(?) personality whatsoever outside of being normal. ( Maybe he's more of a troublemaker idk, but atleast he's less worse than chung myung heh-)

And whether you think he's confident or not, You just know he'll be scared shitless of what ever the fuck is going on in Mount Hua Sect.

Anyhow, no matter what cho sam's interpretation in your mind, I need more fics, and art of him- PLEASSE🙏🙏🙏

[scoobydoodean]

it is interesting to me that sam is judgmental about dean’s eating habits, but, from what I remember, he’s fairly non-judgmental about his drinking habits in comparison. while sam goes through phases of wanting to eat “cleaner” he never wants to give up alcohol. do you think this indicates that sam is also pretty dependent on alcohol himself but less “showy” about this than dean who jokes about needing alcohol more often? or is it more that he knows it comes off as insanely hypocritical bc of his demon blood addiction where he went off the rails while dean is still functional even during periods of heavy drinking?

(Does Dean joke around about needing alcohol that often?)

Interesting question. I don't think hypocrisy has ever stopped a character in Supernatural from saying anything tbh. But I also don't think Sam sees anything wrong with the way Dean drinks most of the time. This is a man who tried to give Dean beer for breakfast when he was suicidal (13.05). And I think the reason he was offering Dean breakfast beer is also pretty key to understanding why Sam, for the most part, shuts the fuck up about Dean drinking: He isn't actually good at dealing with Dean not being okay. It scares him. I'll come back to that in a minute.

I think fanon sometimes makes more of Dean's relationship with alcohol than it is. I'm not saying there aren't points in the show where Dean is very obviously shown to have an alcohol problem. I'm not saying his relationship with alcohol is normal (though his relationship with alcohol is pretty normal prior to him going to hell). I am saying I think a chunk of fandom tends to think of Dean as someone who is more or less constantly buzzed for most of the series, and that's just not accurate. After hell, Dean begins drinking to fall asleep. He is binge drinking a significant amount before bed by mid season 5 after the Harvelle's deaths (5.11, 5.16). But it is to fall asleep and it cuts back to a glass or two a night by the beginning of season 6 after a hard fought struggle we get small references to between Dean and Lisa (6.01, 6.06). Dean would be dead on a hunt within a month if he was constantly day drinking, and the show notes to us specifically when Dean is so out of sorts he feels the need to do that (see: 6.06, where Dean drinks just to be able to stand being near Sam, after being assaulted the previous episode while Sam watched and smiled). A glass of whiskey or two before bed becomes Dean's new normal from season 6 onwards. When his drinking ticks up from that in one season or episode to another, there's a deeper problem going on that Dean is struggling through. I only mention this because when I actually think of points where Sam might say something to Dean about an uptick in drinking... it's not going to happen as often as fandom sometimes imagines.

Sam understands Dean's options as far as dealing with nightmares from decades of reality-bending torture are highly limited. Realistically, Dean has zero access to qualified professional support. Suppose Dean took sleeping pills instead of drinking to fall asleep. Would he actually be better off? Would he eventually abuse sleeping pills instead? Would that just put something in close proximity to him that he could even more easily overdose on? Because... Dean also isn't a stranger to suicidal ideation, and Sam is very aware of that, and I wager he gets a hell of a lot more antsy about the thought of Dean having constant access to sleeping pills than he does about Dean drinking a glass of whiskey or two before bed. In the fucked up world they live in, as far as Sam's concerned, Dean's relationship with alcohol is usually "under control" in a relative sense. I think Sam understands Dean's use of alcohol and he accepts it... and he isn't going to get judgy, because Sam isn't good at actually handling Dean not being okay. Dean not being able to cope scares Sam however he might pretend to play Mr. Therapist (see my tag: #bad therapist sam).

If Dean chooses to cope with nightmares and sleep disturbances using alcohol while still being functional during the day, Sam isn't going to say a word. When Dean's drinking gets bad, for example, in season 7 when Dean constantly carries around Bobby's flask, I seem to recollect Sam speaking up about it at least once—at least in vague terms? But we'll see when I get back into season 7. (All I remember right now is him joking that alcohol is a "vitamin" for Dean in 7.18). I really do think in general, as far as Sam as concerned, as long as Dean's drinking doesn't effect his job performance... it's all good. He generally isn't going to touch it with a ten foot pole—not even to joke.

It is true at the same time that Dean's relationship with food also is and continues to further develop into a coping mechanism. Dean eats when he's grieving or sad and when he wants comfort. Food makes Dean feel safe. However, Dean also eats when he's happy, and Sam's judgments when it comes to Dean's eating usually happen when Dean is happy eating instead of sad eating (or when Sam at least perceives him to be happy eating).

I think the specific connection between Dean's drinking and hell may also play a role here. Sam failed Dean deeply on the hell front and I think he knows it. I won't even mince words: it is Sam's fault that Dean never talks about hell. Dean was opening up between 4.08 and 4.11, but because of Sam's cruel turn in his framing of that traumatic experience, Dean's hell trauma is forever the silent looming thing that no one talks about. Not Sam, not Dean, not anybody. Getting judgy about Dean drinking to fall asleep could easily open cracks in Dean's own self-imposed wall and Sam is smart enough not to scratch at it. Not just for Dean's sake, but for his own, because that betrayal intersects deeply with Dean's broken trust in Sam in season 5, and if there is one thing Sam's ego absolutely cannot take, it's reminders of moments where he proved Dean could not trust him.

[the-bau-quinjet]

what about doing a steve x reader? maybe where the reader gets hurt during a mission by hydra?? just an idea!! xx

He’s Like a Brother to Me

Summary: Pretending to be a couple for a mission is normal, so why is your Captain so upset?

Warnings: being injured on a mission, kissing, a swear word or two

Word Count: 2202

a/n: My first request!! To the anon that requested this, thank you! I hope you like it :) Sorry if it's not angsty enough! I really tried, but once I got this idea in my head I ran with it. 

Also! I didn't do my normal tag list since y'all requested to be tagged when I was only writing Criminal Minds fics. Just lmk if you want to be tagged in marvel or CM or both!

"The mission is simple. You two will go to the gala as newly weds, pretend to be interested in more than the charitable events of the evening, figure out the chain of command for the weapons dealing, and put a stop to the weapons dealing assholes." Tony laid out the plan as if nothing could go wrong.

You turned to the super soldier on your left, relieved to find a matching grimace on his face.

"We have to pretend to be a couple?" You asked, turning back to Tony.

"Yes. The invites we secured are for Mr. and Mrs. Farley, so you two will be Mr. and Mrs. Farley for the evening. Any other questions?" Before you could chime in with the 17 questions in your head, Tony kept talking. "I didn't think so. Your clothes have already been dropped off to your rooms, so get ready. You'll have Rogers and Wilson doing surveillance in case anything goes wrong." Without another word, Tony forced you and Bucky out of the room.

"I guess I'll see in an hour, husband." You tried to joke, but your smile didn't meet your eyes.

"Same to you, wife." Bucky's face held a similar expression as you both turned your separate ways to get ready for the gala, trying to put the awkwardness behind you.

You and Bucky have been incredibly close ever since he first came back from Wakanda. You became fast friends since you are both so close with Steve.

It was easier for Bucky to open up to you than he anticipated, and in part it's because you remind him of his sister. Similarly, Bucky is like the older brother you never had. The two of you mesh, in the most platonic of ways.

He is there to tease you about your not-so-secret crush on Steve, and your there to help Sam come up with more annoying nicknames (starBucks being one of your favorite to date).

When it comes down to it though, you look out for each other. Of course, that won't make pretending to be a couple any less awkward.

-

You and Bucky enter the gala just after 8:00 pm. The large hotel ballroom is lit up by three enormous chandeliers, spaced throughout the room, with small sconces lining the outside walls. There are round tables around the outside of the room, framing a large open space for dancing.

People are mingling in small groups scattered throughout the room, waitstaff wondering around the room in precise lines to ensure anyone who wants a drink has access to one.

With a deep breath, you link your arm with Bucky's, laughing at the surprised look on his face.

"We have to at least try to sell it." You whispered in his ear, trying to play it off as a cute couple-y thing. "Even if we'd both rather be anywhere else." That comment earned a laugh, easing the tension from his shoulders.

Steve's voice in your ears refocuses you on the mission. "We just got video feed from the security cameras, so we have eyes on you now." You would have sworn you could hear an unfamiliar strain in Steve's voice as he spoke, but you chalked it up to just being nervous for the mission. "Try to mingle, figure out who's in charge."

Mingling was easier said than done. Every time the two of you tried to talk to anyone, the conversation was awkward and tense. You just didn't know how to answer questions about falling in love with each other. Ultimately, you decided eavesdropping was your best bet. Bucky pulled you to the dance floor, whispering in your ear as he held you, "dancing is the perfect cover for moving around the room."

You nodded your head in response, wrapping your arms around his neck.

"What are you doing? I said to mingle, not dance." Steve's voice in your ears surprised you. Normally, he'd stay quiet unless he received intel that could help with the mission or noticed something for you to look into.

"We're listening to other conversations, relax punk." Bucky's voice was light as he spun you around, closer to the most suspicious people you've found thus far.  

"What time is it happening?" The woman seemed nervous as she checked her watch.

"A few minutes. Relax, we'll meet them down the hall at 8:45." The man was calm and collected as he took her hand, leading her across the dance floor and out of the room.

"Guess that's our cue." You stated the obvious as you and Bucky went to follow them out of the ballroom. The couple turned down a side hallway, pulled out a key card, and entered a room, about halfway down.

You and Bucky made quick work to reach the room, pausing outside to listen in. You heard the couple, along with an unfamiliar voice.

"Do you have them?" The unfamiliar voice asked.

"We do. They're hidden in another room down the hall." the woman again sounded nervous.

"You" the unfamiliar voice must have pointed at someone, "go get them. Your wife will stay here to keep me company. Make it quick, Hydra has more important things to do."

Yours and Bucky's eyes went wide at the mention of Hydra. This mission wasn't supposed to have anything to do with them. Before you could react, footsteps could be heard coming toward the door. You had a few seconds max to figure out a way to hide.

With no other options in sight, you pulled Bucky across the hallway into the world's most awkward kiss. When the door swung open, you pretended not to notice, too lost in your "relationship" to care.

The man you saw earlier walked a few doors down before entering another room. You pulled back from Bucky, wincing slightly at the expression on his face. "I'm so sorry, I couldn't think of anything else to do to make it look like we weren't listening..." You trailed off.

"No, no it's fine. It was the only option." Bucky cleared his throat, still slightly dazed and very thrown off.

"Could the two of you stop staring at each other and get back to work?' Steve's voice was again present in your ears, and this time he was definitely angry.

"Right! Right, of course. Let's go." You awkwardly pushed off the wall, moving down the hallway to the room you saw the man enter. On the count of three, you burst into the room together. It was easy enough to over power the lone man in the room, but you and Bucky were still a little shaken up after the kiss. You handcuffed him to the bedpost, taking the key card he used earlier and moving back down the hallway.

After a brief, awkward eye contact, Bucky opened the door with you rushing in behind him. The only two people in the room were the two you heard earlier, making for a fairly easy take down.

"Cap, we got 'em. Two in room 217 and one in room 223." You started to fill him and Sam in, unsure if they still had eyes on you. At that exact moment, three more Hydra agents ran in from an adjoining room, catching you off guard.

You yelped when the gun went off, surprised at the sudden noise after thinking the mission was over. You and Bucky managed to take down the three agents without much more difficulty.

"Scratch that Cap, five in room 217." You again began filling him in, but the room started spinning. Your voice was wavering when you collapsed, the last thing you heard a mixture of Steve's voice in your ear and Bucky's in person calling your name.

"Y/N!" Then everything faded to black.

-

"What the hell happened in there?" Steve and Bucky were standing just outside of the med bay. After you collapsed, Bucky realized you had been shot in the stomach. While other Shield agents came to collect the men you had stopped, Bucky carried you to the quinjet, meeting a pissed looking Steve at the door.

The two didn't talk at all during the short flight back to the compound. It wasn't until you were in the med bay receiving medical attention that Steve rounded on Bucky.

"There was never any indication that more agents were there. They caught us off guard! I didn't even realize she had been shot until after we had them contained." Bucky was beating himself up. He let his guard down, still trying to get over the lingering weirdness of you kissing him.

"Caught you off guard? Buck-" Before Steve could yell anymore, Dr. Cho came out to talk to them.

"Y/N will be fine. She lost a lot of blood, but she should recover relatively quickly. She'll likely wake up in the next half hour." Dr. Cho got straight to the point, trying to ease the nerves of the two super soldiers.

"Thank you so much. Thank you!" Bucky called over his shoulder as he ran into the room, planting himself by your side. He may be weirded out by the kiss, but he knows you were too. You're still like a little sister to him, nothing could stop him from being there for you when you wake up.

Steve followed Bucky into the room after thanking Dr. Cho and briefly discussing the timeline for your recovery.

"As I was saying. Caught you off guard? I've never seen you caught off guard before." Although he was whispering so as not to disturb you, his words were nearly venomous. "The two of you let your feelings get in the way of this mission."

The look of guilt already present on Bucky's face multiplied tenfold. "You think I don't know that? I should've seen it coming. If I wasn't distracted I could've stopped them before Y/N got hurt."

You woke up at some point, hearing Bucky blame himself. Instantly, you wanted to ease his worries. "Hey," the two men turned to you, concern clear on their faces. "It wasn't your fault, Buck. I was just as distracted. Neither of us saw it coming, even though both of us should have. It doesn't matter though, because we got them, and I'll be fine." You sat up, wincing slightly at the pain in your abdomen.

"How can you say that? Of course it matters! You could have died, all because Bucky was too busy making heart eyes at you to-" Steve's words were cut off by identical sounds of laughter from you and Bucky.

"Heart eyes?! Oh my god, that's hilarious." You stuttered out the words between laughs. Steve look so confused, you couldn't help but laugh at his cute expression.

Every time you thought you were done, one look at either Bucky or Steve had you laughing again. "Oh god, make it stop! It hurts to laugh!" You pouted slightly, begging Bucky to stop laughing and Steve to change his expression.

Finally, Bucky reined it in enough to speak. "I was distracted because Y/N like a little sister. It's definitely a bit distracting to feel like you just kissed your sister" You and Bucky each made a face of disgust as you looked at each other.

Meanwhile, Steve had a look of complete shock on his face. "Wh-what? You two aren't ... ya know?”

Again, you and Bucky share looks of disgust. "God, no. He's like a brother to me."

"Yeah, I love Y/N like a sister. I'm definitely not in love with her." Bucky agrees.

Steve's expression is sheepish as he tries to explain himself, "but, but after the kiss you were staring into his eyes like you were in love!"

"We most definitely were not." Mumbling under your breath, you kept talking "his aren't the blue eyes I'd like to lovingly stare into."

Steve was shocked into silence by your statement.

"I think that's my cue to leave." Bucky wore a smug grin as he slapped Steve on the back, uttering a quick "good luck, punk" before leaving.

It was quiet for a minute, neither of you quite sure what to say.

"Who's blue eyes do you want to stare into?" Steve broke the silence, shuffling closer to sit on the side of your bed.

"What?" It took you an embarrassing amount of time to realize you said that sentence out loud. "I said that out loud?" You threw your hands up to cover your face, mumbling about being an idiot to delay having to answer.

"You did. So... who's blue eyes?" Steve's demeanor quickly shifted from shy to confident. He slowly moved your hands off your face, tilting your chin up to look into your eyes. One look had you confessing all your secrets.

"Yours. It always been yours." He rubbed his thumb across your cheek, leaning in closer to you until your foreheads were touching.

"Let me take you on a date." His words were barely a whisper, the warm air from his breath sending a shiver down your spine. You nodded in response, not trusting your voice.

He leaned in closer, barely brushing his lips over yours. "I need words, sweetheart."

You pushed forward, your lips meeting his in a passionate kiss.

"Yes."

[marvelsimp]

The New Kid: Friend or Foe

The New Kid Masterlist

Ch. 5

Genre: Fluff? Pairing: Peter & Lesbian!reader, Avengers & Reader, (eventual Wanda x Reader it’s a slow burn) Warnings: violence(training), blood, stabbed, strong language Description: Y/n is getting used to living in the tower and makes an unlikely friend Reader’s Powers: Healer, telepath, and empath. Word Count: 2278

“You can’t pull your punches, Y/n/n.  In a real fight, you’re gonna have to fight for your life.”

“You know my whole power set is pacifist.”

“That’s why I have to train you,” said the slightly annoyed red-haired woman. “Now get your head in the game and let’s go again.”

You scoffed; you were frustrated that you had to do this.  That you had to learn how to hurt people.  You took a moment to stretch and you both went back into your fighting stances to start again.

You went to punch her face, but she dodged, she then raised her leg and tried to kick but you caught her foot.  She quickly got her foot free before you could do anything with it.  This went on for a while, you both got some good punches and kicks.  You did land on your ass a few times, but you got up each time and went back to it.

“Time out”

Thank god.

Steve walked in. Oh god no. You knew what was coming, you were gonna have to fight Steve.  You very dramatically fell on the floor and spread out. “Come on, Nat. This is creeping up on child abuse,” you laugh.

You earned a chuckle out of both of them.  Steve stood above you and offered you his hand to which you accepted. Nat went onto showing you some simple moves to help you fight someone bigger than you after about an hour you finally got to go and get a shower and really start your day.

The last week and a half passed by quickly.  Peter stayed at the tower for the first few nights but went back home once school started.  But he would come after patrol and he still video called during homework, like usual.  

Most of your time was spent in one of the labs.  You have been helping Tony with one of his suits as a way for him to familiarize you with the machines and programs.  Bruce did less hands-on work he worked on calculations for his own projects and did some work for SHEILD.  You went down to the Med Lab a few times to give Dr. Cho some blood samples or some information about your powers.  She took a small sample of skin, fat, and muscle from your thigh, but it healed within a minute like nothing ever happened.  

You also spent some time in the gym, which you hated but the others made it a little more fun.  You were really only doing it to get ready for training with Nat.  When you first went in you had no clue what you were doing.  Sam, Bucky, and Steve were doing some training exercise when you entered but Sam quickly saw your very clueless face and walked over to help.

“Hey, kid.”

“Hi.”

“I’m assuming you have no clue what you’re doing?  You look as clueless as I would if I went up to the Tech Lab.”

“That obvious?”

He let out a chuckle.  Sam gave you some stretches to warm up and then showed you how to use some of the machines.  He gave you advice on how long to use each machine and told you that if you needed anything just yell.  The rest of your time in the gym you watched the three men do whatever they were doing.  Sam and Bucky’s bickering was very entertaining and so was Steve yelling at them to focus. You were there for around an hour every day until Nat started to train you.  You very quickly learned that you grew muscle faster than the average person and you weren’t sore for very long.  

When you weren’t in the lab or the gym you were probably in your room playing a game or you were talking to Wanda while she was making a meal. “So, are you the assigned cook?” you joked.  You’d only ever seen Wanda prepare meals since you got here.

Wanda just shook her head, “Not really.  I just enjoy it, so I usually am the one to cook.  But Bruce sometimes cooks and so do Steve and Bucky. When I first joined I helped Steve add a bit of flavor to his meals.  Thank god I didn’t live in the 40s.” She laughed a little, you love her laugh and smile, they seem to make the room a little brighter.

You weren’t a cook yourself so you didn’t help too much, but you would talk to her and get her something if she needed it but usually, she’d just use her powers.  

That’s really the only time that you see Wanda, most of her day is spent training.  She’s Strange’s apprentice.  You still haven’t met him, for someone who can make portals you’d think he’d pop in at some point.  You asked Wanda about seeing him, but she told you that you need to be invited or it needs to be something important.  She warned against pissing him off because it takes a while to get back on his good side.  But she told you she’d mention it to him.

You got into a rhythm of training, breakfast, tech lab, lunch, med lab, tech lab, supper, and Video games, the library, or more time in the tech lab.  It was rarely thrown off.  Every few days someone would go out for a mission or return from one.  Nat only missed two training sessions, so Bucky stood in.  You enjoyed training with Nat, but Bucky made sure to put some fun into it.   At first, he seemed so cold but after some warming up, he really was just a big Teddy Bear.  He can still be an ass though.

Your days stayed on this loop for another week until Thor returned with Loki.  No one fully trusted Loki so Stark ended up putting a tracker on him that Wanda enchanted so that Loki couldn’t remove or deactivate it… he was not impressed.  Well, he was, just not pleased.

“You must be Lady Y/n,” Loki smirked.

Thor whacked the back of Loki’s head. “Be good,” he whispered.

Loki just let out a mischievous laugh, “Don’t worry brother.”  Loki turned back to you, “So you’re the one who discovered me? I wouldn’t expect a mere mortal would be able to find me out... not even THE Scarlet Witch did.”

“You’re impressed?” you scoffed. “Or maybe a little jealous.” You knew that he’s the god of mischief and you aren’t gonna deal with any of his shit, you’ve got enough going on.

“No,” he defended, “Just interested.”

“I’m a telepath and empath,” you explained, “and a healer.”

“Oh! So, you cheated!”

“What do you mean cheat? Your thoughts were so loud you were giving me a headache!”

“I will get my revenge.”

He’s going to so annoying, isn’t he?

Loki was surprisingly quiet over the next week until you went to the tower’s library.  

The library itself is a whole floor, it has a copy of every book you could think of.  It even has a librarian who is almost constantly putting up new releases.  It’s a bookworm’s dream.  

You wanted to find a physics book or two and you weren’t against finding a new queer fantasy book.  You returned your books and asked Mx. Anderson where you could find what you were looking for and they quickly gave you directions and suggestions.

You found and picked out a few physics books and then made your way to the young adult section. The queer books have a rainbow sticker on the spine.  You picked out a few then headed to leave, you walked into the “classics” section and there was Loki on a couch reading with a pile of books next to him.

“Hey,” you smiled.

“Hello,” said the Asgardian who didn’t even look up from his book.

You bent down a little to sew the cover of the surprisingly thin book. “Oh, you’re reading Shakespeare!” He was reading Hamlet.  “My favorite is Romeo and Juliet. Have you read it yet?” He finally looked up from his book.  “No,” he seemed a little confused, “But I did read a few others of his work and I think that is in my stack.” He turned to find it. “It has such odd language compared to the rest of you.”

“They were written like four hundred years ago,” you explained, sitting next to him.

“Ah, language does change quite quickly.”

You nodded in agreement.

“What are you reading?” he said pointing at your stack of books.

“Oh, uh um. These big books are physics books, and these smaller ones are fantasy romance.”

“Hmm, you don’t seem to be one who reads romance.”

“Well, I’m really more into it for the fantasy elements but I do enjoy a good romance.”

He gave you a smirk,” Besides Romeo and Juliet and any of Shakespeare’s works. Do you have any recommendations for me?”

You went on to recommend some classics and some more recent books.  He listened to every word and asked a few questions.  You didn’t stay long; you were tired and just wanted to dive into one of your books.  You would usually be in the lab at this time, but it was nice to have a few hours to yourself before dinner.  

“Knock, knock,” said a voice at your door.

“Hm?” you looked up. “Peter!” you set down your book and ran to him for a hug.  It had been a while since Peter had come to the tower.  He hadn’t even been introduced to Loki, formally that is.  ‘How’s my favorite bug!”

Peter let out a laugh, “Good! You’re acting like we don’t talk every day.”

“Video calls and in-person are completely different things! Anyways what are you doing here?”

“It’s Thursday aka movie night.”

“Oh, yeah!”

You and Peter walked out of your room and went to the common space to eat dinner.

“Lady Y/n,” said a booming voice.

“Yes, Thor!”

“Would you and the Man of Spiders like to sit next to me and my brother?”

“Yes, we’d love that,” you laughed.

“So, you’re telling me that you’ve never had ice cream!” you practically yelled at Loki.

Everyone was surprised with how comfortable you and the trickster were with each other, especially Peter.  

“What’s with you and him?” Peter whispered.

“We bonded over books,” you whispered back. “Your girlfriend would like him.”

Peter smiled, he’s pleased that you’re getting along with everyone and most of all that you’re happy.  

The rest of the night was nice, it was just like the last two movie nights.  Dinner, talking, movie, and then Peter had to leave to finish his homework or go on patrol.  

The next week was just like you had gotten there but Loki had decided that it was a perfect time to really embrace his title.  He started to pull little pranks, nothing too bad or really anything that went beyond a little annoyance.  Or at least he didn’t until today.  

It was Saturday so you slept in because you thankfully did not have to go to training.  You were about to leave when you noticed a box on your desk.  It was about the size of a backpack.  So, you decided to open it and when you looked inside there was a black cat with emerald eyes.  Who got you a cat? You like cats and like…thanks?  But still, who would get you a cat out of nowhere? You picked up the cat and as soon as you did it started to transform, and you felt a sharp pain in your side.  The cat continued to transform into of course… Loki.  The raven hair man quickly sprinted out of your room to the common area.

You looked down and there was a fucking kitchen knife in your side.

“You bitch! I like this shirt!” you yelled while running out of your room.

When you entered the common room, Loki was nowhere to be seen.  But Nat, Bucky, and Steve were there.  “Where did he go?”

“Who?” Nat turned around and saw the knife in your side.  Her eyes widened, then she looked fucking pissed.  “What the fuck! Are you okay?”  The men's emotions followed the same track.

“Oh yeah,” you said nonchalantly.  You pulled the bloody knife out of your side.  Some blood soaked into your shirt’s fabric, but you weren’t worried.  But you do like this shirt… that bitch is gonna pay.

“Do you want me to kill him?” said the brunette man bluntly.

“Don’t worry, I got this.” You rushed into the elevator and told Friday to take you to Loki.

The elevator lowered to the Library. Of course.

“Sorry, Mx. Anderson!” you yelled while running by their desk. “There will be yelling and possibly blood shed!”  You already know where he is.  He’s in the classics.  

There he was sitting on the couch, nonchalantly reading the Iliad.

“You’re a fucking bitch you know?  I really like this shirt!” you waved the knife in your hand around.

“Oh please.  You’re a healer, you’ll be fine.”

You crossed your arms, “LOKI. My fucking shirt.”

He raised his arms in defense. “It just a blood and a slight rip.”

You walked up to Loki and took off your shirt, thankfully you were wearing an undershirt that you didn’t care about.  You handed the shirt to him.  “Fix it then.”

He accepted the shirt and scoffed. “Fine.” He waved his hand over the shirt and it was now good as new.

“See, that was easy.” You grabbed the shirt and started to walk away.  “And don’t stab me again! I think two assassins would very happily kill you!”

NEXT CHAPTER 

Ice Cream or Blood

[whisperlullaby]

Heaven’s Not Too Far

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Warnings: Character death, mentions of cancer, angst, language, guys this is just really sad.

Words: 1467

A/N: This is literally not a happy piece. It was just inside my head and I wanted it out. It’s based on this song which is a very sad song. Please do not read this fic is any of these topics upset you. 

After a solid month in the field running a covert mission the quinjet landing at the compound was like music to your ears. Rather, it would be had you not had this incessant ringing in your ears since last week. The headache that came with it was a low throbbing just behind your eyes. 

You were met with your favorite pair of stormy blue eyes once you stepped out of the aircraft and you raced into his arms.

"Hey doll I've missed you." Bucky sighs as he squeezes you in a tight hug pressing a kiss to your temple.

"I've missed you too Buck. Don't know why they haven't had us on missions together lately." 

"The last mission you two went on together ended with 3 days of no contact because you decided to hold up in the safe house having animal sex." Sam quips causing you to burst out laughing.

"We got the intel didn't we? I thought we could use a bit of a vacation without any interruptions." You stick your tongue out at Sam as he rolls his eyes 

"Well until you both learn to keep it in your pants. No missions together." Sam saunters away leaving you and Bucky alone in the hanger.

"How have your headaches been, doll? Any better?" Bucky questions his eyes filled with concern.

"They're really persistent. Can't seem to shake this ringing either. I'm sure it's nothing that a hot shower and a good night's sleep on an actual mattress won't cure." You sigh.

Bucky places his hands on your cheeks and presses a tender kiss to your forehead. 

"I would feel better if you just saw Dr. Cho and got it looked at."

"Okay, mom." You tease. "But can I shower first? I smell like hot garbage."

Bucky laughs. "Only if I can join you."

"I would expect nothing less, Sarge." You wink and grab Bucky's hand to pull him to your room.

//////

The next day you have your appointment with Dr. Cho. She runs some scans and takes blood to do a full work up. You're waiting in the cold exam room on the crinkling paper of the check up table for Dr. Cho to return, counting the ceiling tiles. You hear a slight knock at the door before it's pushed open.

"So doc what's the prognosis." You joke before you notice the solemn expression on the doctors face.

"Y/N. I'm afraid I don't have the news you were hoping for.” Dr. Cho takes a deep breath before she continues. “Your CT scan shows a large glioblastoma, it's inoperable. I am so sorry."

The soft whir of the air conditioning and crunching of the paper underneath you is drowned out by the blood pulsing through your ears. Your mouth is sticky and dry as you try to speak.

"How long?" You squeak out, tears threatening to fall.

"About six months. Most glioblastoma patients don't survive past a year." Dr. Cho's voice wavered.

"Thank you. Um, can I go?" You ask, shuddering out a breath.

"Yes, but we will need you to book a follow up appointment so we can go over treatment options." Dr. Cho says empathetically.

“That won’t be necessary, Dr. Cho.”

You stand on shaky legs and leave the office. Once you are back in your room you sink down to the floor as silent tears stain your cheeks. You don't know how long you end up sitting there before you hear a knock at the door.

"Doll? Are you there?” Bucky’s voice came through the door concerned. “I haven't seen you since this morning before your appointment, can I come in?"

You slowly rise from the floor and click open the door handle to show a worried Bucky. Your eyes hollowly gaze over him before you fall forward into him. He catches you and cradles you into his chest walking through your room to settle you on the couch.

"You're scaring me. What happened?" Bucky's voice came out harsher than he intended. 

You gulped dryly. "Dr. Cho said, I'm, she said that I, um, I have a glioblastoma and that there's only 6 months at most." 

You choke back a sob and look over Bucky. His eyes wet with tears.

"What treatment options are there? What about surgery? There has to be something, some cutting edge treatment we can do, Stark has to have something, for God's sake." Bucky is frantically screaming, raking his hands through his hair.

"Inoperable. And….. I don't want the treatment. I don't want my last days to be a shell of a person." You grab Bucky's hands and hold them to your face. "I want to spend every day waking up with you. Being alive with you." 

"No. You can't just sit here and resign yourself to death. We're going to figure it out. I am not losing you. Not when it feels like I just found you." Bucky's tears were falling freely as you stroke his knuckles.

"Oh Bucky, there isn't anything we can do. Please. Just, be with me. Love me. Stay with me." You pull his palm to your lips and press a kiss before he pulls you in, deepening the kiss with desperation.

"You are my world. I'm going to be lost without you." A sob escapes his throat.

"My love there will be no place you could go that I wouldn't be with you."

Bucky pulls you onto his lap and holds you close for the rest of the night.

/////

2 months later

"Doll let me get that, why don't you go sit down." Bucky grabs the bowl of popcorn out of your hands and ushers you over to the couch.

"Thanks Buck." You place a quick kiss on his cheek before you stumble towards the couch. "I'm feeling a bit woozy today.”

You plop down on the couch as Bucky settles next to you. You easily take your spot tucked into his side listening to his heartbeat as he draws circles on your arm. The movie Bucky picked drones on as you feel your eyelids grow heavy. 

“Hey Buck?” You start unable to keep your eyes open. “When I die I’m going to visit you as a dragonfly, so just know wherever you are, anytime you see one it’s me saying hello.”

Bucky stops drawing circles on your arm and pulls you closer to him. “Are you feeling okay doll? I can go get Dr. Cho.”

“No Buck, just really tired. Please stay with me? Hey do you remember the first time you kissed me?” You gave a weak smile.

Bucky let out a shaky sigh “Yeah, you wouldn’t stop laughing at one of those dogs who kept sliding on the ice. I swear that laugh is the most beautiful sound I have ever heard.”

You chuckled. “Yeah you just grabbed my face mid laugh and kissed me.”

“I’d kiss you forever if I could.” Bucky laughs humorlessly.

Your breathing starts to sound shallow and short. “Heaven’s not too far away Buck. You’ll visit me one day and we can kiss as much as you want.”

You feel hot tears fall on your face as Bucky presses a kiss to the crown of your head, then the tip of your nose, and finally a lingering kiss to your lips.

“I am going to be so lost without you. You have made my life so full, I don’t know who I would be without you.” Bucky whispers.

“You would be the same man I fell in love with, Buck. You are strong. We’ll meet again. I’m just gonna sleep for a bit. I'm so tired.”

Bucky held you tight as your breathing waned. When he couldn’t feel your lungs fill with air or hear your heartbeat, he called for FRIDAY to alert the medical team all the while rocking you and whispering his love for you in your ears.

////

A few days later

Bucky planned your funeral. He made sure all of your favorite flowers were lining the casket hoping you were looking down on him smiling because he remembered. 

“I miss her Steve.” Bucky remarks as Steve approaches him.

“I know Buck. She was a wonderful person, loved you for who you are and I am grateful to her for it.” Steve states somberly.

Bucky chuckles humorlessly. “I get to live more than one lifetime. It’s not fair that hers got cut short. I would give anything to have her back.”

Steve pats Bucky’s shoulder letting his hand linger. Bucky looks back at Steve with sorrow in his eyes. Then, he notices something land on Steve’s shoulder, a bright blue dragonfly and he smiles.

“I know she’s here though Stevie. Watching me. I’m going to be the man she wants me to be, then when it’s time, I’ll see her again.”

[cipheress-to-k-pop]

Sam Alexander x Cho!Reader

Anon asked:  Could you please do some headcanons of Sam dating Amadeus Cho’s older sister? They were so petty towards each other it was hilarious

A/N: Sorry it was so late, I’ve been really swamped for the past few days

Being Amadeus’ older sister was a challenge to say the least

You were both left orphans at a young age which left you to raise him alone

It didn’t help that he was smarter than you in every way possible

But you wouldn’t trade your life with him for anything

You cherish your little brother and he knows how much he means to you

You worked day in and day out, while trying to maintain good grades and graduate before worrying about college and such so he wouldn’t have to

That was the only thought keeping you strong

He got the best from you and he knew how much you sacrificed for him

So, when you started dating his teammate, Sam, he couldn’t really tell you no

Even though he would have you date literally anybody else on the planet

Sam knows not to make jokes about Amadeus in front of you from experience

He treats you like a child instead of a guardian and you feel so carefree when your around him

“Let’s have a cartoon marathon tomorrow.”

“Let’s just lay around today.”

“Picnic tomorrow? What do you say?”

You quickly fell in love with Sam who was just the best boyfriend

He understood when you had to take rain checks because of work and school

He helped you with your schoolwork and often looked up jobs that had slightly higher wages so you could make more

Not to mention, he was always over at your house, making dinners and buying groceries for you when there was a sale because you didn’t have the time to go

It’s inevitable that your attention slowly turns to your boyfriend rather than your little brother

You began missing family dinners for dinner dates with Sam and Amadeus would no longer help you with your homework because you preferred study dates

Your brother says nothing of course, but he begins to feel your absence more each day

You’re not neglectful of him, your still around most of the time, for birthdays, dinners, lunch but it’s the small things that get to him

One day, one of the worst of his life, he comes back home, so upset

He had been told that if he failed Physical Education or got anything less than a C, he would be booted back to middle school

His classmates bullied him for being so young

And all he wanted was to have dinner with you but once he came in, you looked ready to leave

“Hi, bro, I have a date with Sam but dinners in the kitchen, call me if you need anything.”

He nodded shakily and sent you off with a smile but once the door closed, he burst into tears and tried to calm the pain in his chest

He was so scared he was losing his sister

And he felt so guilty because he couldn’t even be happy for you when he knew all the things that you did just for him

So, he planned to just cry his eyes out alone and then greet you with a smile when you got back

But you forgot your phone so you came back up and once you saw Amadeus in tears you just texted Sam and told him you weren’t coming

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry...”

He tells you everything and spends the night crying in your arms as you try and comfort him

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you; I promise I will be from now on.”

The thought of your baby brother planning to cry alone and never tell you how he was feeling made you tear up but you just held your sleeping brother tighter in your arms and gently patted his head

The next day, you don’t tell Amadeus but you plan to break up with Sam

“I’m sorry but we can’t see each other anymore. I’ve been neglecting Amadeus too much and no matter how much I like you; it isn’t worth it to me if he isn’t happy.”

“Wait, (Y/N), please, we can still make this work.”

So, you stay

And it was the best decision you ever made

Dinner dates were swapped with Sam cooking dates and he would stay over for dinner and the three of you would eat

You would laugh as Sam and Amadeus exchanged insults over mashed potatoes and meatloaf

It was their special way of showing love

Study dates turned into Amadeus tutoring the two of you

“You’re an idiot if you can’t solve this question, Alexander.”

“Well you’re an idiot even if you can solve the question, Cho.”

“Hey!” “Whoops sorry, I meant the other Cho.”

The three of you would work out on Saturday’s, well you and Sam would work out and Amadeus would just sit in a corner because he’s weak

“I’m not weak! I’m just, conserving energy!”

“Well then I guess you’ll have enough energy to wash the dishes tonight?”

“.... Give me the damn weights.”

“Language!”

Sam knows that he will always come second to your brother and isn’t of being annoyed, he admires it

“Sorry I can’t come over tonight, Amadeus is sick.”

“I can bring over some chicken soup?”

“You really do love me...”

And it wasn’t the same but Amadeus appreciated that you were trying and above all, that you were happy

And you’re over the moon that the most important boy in your life likes your boyfriend

They threw a surprise party for you on your birthday but there was a thunderstorm and no one could make it

To say that they were upset was an understatement

“Oh, it’s okay, nothing beats a day with my boys!”

You ended up having the snacks and cutting the cake while the two of them sang for you

“Make a wish!”

Every year, for your birthday, you always wished something for Amadeus. Always.

It was either wishing some money to get him that bike that he wanted or for him to get a job so you could provide for him

But this one time, you looked up from the candles and saw the two of them and you wished

“I wish the three of us will always be together.” 

This happens very often

“I love you...”

“Gross.”

“I was talking to my boyfriend.”

This happens often too

“I love you.”

“I love you too, babe.”

“I was talking to my brother but thanks!”

And of course, the glorious mash up of the two

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Get a room before I throw up.”

“Shut up, Cho!”

Hey!” “I meant the other Cho and you know it!”

[the-omni-princess]

Frozen Heart [Chapter 10]

Author: @the-omni-princess

Summary:  After the war against Hydra, King Bucky comes home to take what has been promised to him since he was young, you. But he is not the same person as the young boy that you grew up with. Can she break through his tough shell and bring back the young man she once fell in love with? Or will she be forced to marry the monster everyone thinks he’s become?

Word Count: 3.8K

Pairing: King!Bucky x Fem!Reader (Royalty Au!)

Warnings: A sex mention, Minor illnesses, Surprises!, Language, Violence, Blood

A/N:

Time for it to get funnnn

-

[Series Masterlist]  [Masterlist]

----

As October ended and November began, change frequently occurred in the palace. The furs in your as well as Bucky's chamber got thicker, the candles and firewood got thicker, the trees all looked barren, the only living looking plants were in your new greenhouse. Finished just in time for winter, you walked along the pathway, picking out a new spot for the peonies in your hand, Aurora walking beside you. Your own wolf was still too young to wander the castle with you, but her training was coming along wonderfully. Ever since you and Bucky became one, he had become a bit more protective, if that was even possible. Now, he was in a meeting without you, one of the few nowadays you didn't participate in.

You sat on the ground in the greenhouse, tugging your long sleeves up to plant the flowers. Aurora curled up beside you, the wolf pup had become just as possessive as Bucky, always curled up to one of you, and recently had joined you two curled up in bed at times.

"I thought I might find you here," a familiar voice rang out, you didn't glance back, already well knowing who it was. Aurora whined softly, jumping up to say hello to him.

"It's either here or the library, or one of our beds," you shot back, "not many options with the cold setting in."

Bucky came up behind you, wrapping his arms around you. You happily laid back into his chest, smiling as he spoke. "And here I thought you enjoyed meetings with me," he pressed a kiss to your hair, burying himself into you.

"I do, but I hate meetings involving the diplomats from Hydra's Kingdom. Even defeated they are slimy, uncaring about their starving people." You closed your eyes, leaning your head against his shoulder. "And I can never forgive those monsters for hurting you," you murmured softly.

"I don't enjoy those meetings either, My Love, but sadly they are necessary. Gladly, they are leaving early as the snows are rolling in. We believe a snow storm is coming tonight." Aurora curled up beside the two of you, and you ran a hand through her fur. "Your first snow," he added, excitement in his voice.

"My first snow," you closed your eyes in content. "Gods, I'm going to be freezing!"

He chuckled behind you, tightening his hold on you. "I'll keep you warm," he spoke against your neck, goosebumps raising as his breath fanned across your skin, much to his amusement.

"You did promise to keep me warm when I first moved here, I do suppose you've done a good job so far," you teased with a playful grin.

"I'd promise the world for you if you wanted it, My Queen," he kissed your ear, all his kisses chaste and playful. "Speaking of, My Queen, your coronation has to follow Northern traditions, but is there any part of Southern Coronation Traditions you wish to have?" You shrugged faintly against him.

You and your Ladies in Waiting were in charge of planning the wedding, a perfect union between North and South, both rituals relatively similar. Both used handfasting, but the elements in each differed slightly. Silver in the North, Gold in the South. Diamond rings in the North, Pearl rings in the South. These differences also followed in coronations, only they shifted to crowns and robes.

"I don't mind a fully Northern Coronation, My Love. I'll be Queen of the North, not Queen of the South. It may be where I'm from, and it'll always be a part of me, but it isn't where I'll be for the rest of my life." You reminded lightly. You turned slightly, burying your face in his neck. "The wedding, however, is completely half and half," you smiled against his skin, pleased with yourself as he shuddered. "Nat's idea of course. Two becoming one. Two people, two kingdoms, one soul." you pulled away enough to see the smile on his face, his eyes crinkled, sending warmth through your body.

"That sounds wonderful," he gave you a cheeky grin before adding, "My Queen."

You giggled, smiling up at him. "Soon I will be," you kissed his nose, watching his face scrunch up.

"A month and a half, that's all I have to wait for, and you'll be mine forever!" He sounded giddy, tugging you close as you two laughed.

"We've waited since we were children, a month shall go by fast, the past few have." You ran a hand through his hair, watching as he melted against your touch.

"They go by faster with you here. Our whole lives, then forever." He murmured, eyes closing as he relaxed.

"Forever is an awfully long time, Bucket. You sure you're up for the commitment?"

He gave you a goofy smile in response. "Forever is never enough when I'm with you."

You scoffed, "Stop being all romantic, it's making me feel things!" You gently nudged him, unable to hide the smile on your face.

"Good!" He beamed, showering you in kisses as he tightened his grip on you.

-

As the day passed, the two of you walked towards Bucky's Chambers hand in hand, Aurora at your heels. You sneaked a glance behind you, noticing neither of the personal guards were men you knew, and you knew almost all of them. Something felt wrong, a light in the castle seemed to dim. Bucky noticed your turned mood, and your subtle glances taking in the new guards as the wind started to howl outside. Deciding to speak about it later, in private, he didn’t ask.

The two of you sat outside on your star gazing balcony. The storm was starting, snow slowly falling to the ground. You were tightly wrapped in furs and blankets, toasty warm as your nose started to get cold. You ignored it, grinning as you caught the ice on your tongue excitedly.

"It's so pretty!" You grinned at Bucky, pointing at the snow on the mountains which was growing.

He smiled warmly at you, letting you enjoy the cold and different season. He eventually tugged you inside before you could freeze over, "alright, Princess. No more cold for you, you'll get frostbite." He fused over you, pulling more furs and warm clothes on you until you were covered in layers, sitting on his bed.

"Something is going on," you said suddenly pulling blankets off of you, surprising Bucky as he got into bed beside you, Aurora jumping into the bed, laying her head on his stomach.

"What do you mean, My Love?" He gave you a confused look, his eyebrows scrunched up adorably.

"New guards here, and Steve said he also has new guards he's never seen before, and the Hydra diplomats suddenly are very friendly, and the scouts on the edge of the kingdom spotting movement. They are planning something." You concluded.

He sighed softly with a nod, "I've noticed most of that as well. Until they make a move we can't do anything. Their officials may be terrible people, but a war would affect their people, a people starved and already war raged, they’re still recovering."

You leaned your head against his shoulder. "Has anyone told you how amazing you are?" You asked softly.

Despite these people being the ones that hurt him, he didn't want to rage war on its people. "Maybe someone has," he teased, smiling against your hair, taking in the smell of your lavender shampoo.

"Hope it's not any other girl," you joked back, nuzzling into him.

He chuckled, "Even if it was, you're the only one for me," he spoke seriously, tugging you closer.

You let your eyes close, happy to bask in his warmth as well as his and Aurora's attention.

-

The next morning you awoke with an upset stomach. Knots twisting and stabbing into your guts like a knife stabbing into you. You rolled out of the bed, pulling yourself out of warm arms, rushing towards the bathroom. "Doll?" A sleepy Bucky managed to say as you ran off. Two confused yips sounded behind you as you retched in the toilet. Aurora happened to stride over first, whining as she walked over, lying beside you and burying her muzzle supportively in your side. Bucky showed up a split second later, kneeling beside you as he held your hair out of your face, rubbing your back.

Once your stomach managed to empty itself, you sat back on your heels, leaning against Bucky. "Gods, I must have a stomach bug or something," you mumbled, lazily burying yourself in his arms. "I feel gross though, but tired."

"It's still early, we can go to the healers in a little while. You're still sleepy, aren't you?" He kissed your head as you nodded, standing and picking you up in his arms. You hummed in acknowledgement, letting your eyes close as he tucked you back into the warm bed. He pulled a blanket over you, Aurora jumping into bed after you, Bucky holding you close as you fell asleep again in his arms.

-

An hour later you woke to Bucky nudging you gently. "My Love, wake up, we should go to the doctors," he was concerned, you weren't one to get sick easy and you looked pale and flush. You groaned, eventually awake enough to get dressed and following Bucky to the royal clinic.

You sat there, Bucky fussing over you as Dr. Bruce Banner and Dr. Helen Cho circled you. Wanda eventually joined the party, much to Natasha's amusement. All three fused over you. Bruce and Helen had both known you since your arrival months ago and had taken a liking to you, the prior being a former soldier, and Wanda had known you most of your life. Soon all three, plus Bucky fussing, plus Sam and Natasha at the door, it all overwhelmed you.

"Please, can all of you calm down for just a minute!" You snapped, all eyes turning towards you as they froze in place. "It’s probably just stress, as I've taken more responsibilities and planning the wedding and worrying about the coronation and the changing seasons, I'm sure I'm fine!" You sighed softly, burying your face in your hands. "Please, I feel smothered by you all." You mumbled. Bucky frowned, chancing placing his hand on your shoulder. You melted against his touch, sudden hot tears ran down your cheeks. "Why can't I control any of these emotions?" You whispered absentmindedly.

Unbeknownst to you, Natasha and Wanda shared a look. They both knew everything about you and Bucky's relationship, including that you two had sex about three weeks ago. Natasha shooed the gathering maids from the door, shutting it and sitting beside you, taking your hand. Wanda whispered something to Dr. Cho, who quickly ran some tests on the blood and urine they collected from you.

You sniffled, looking up towards Nat as her weight dipped the bed you were in. "Wanda and I think we know what's wrong," Nat said slowly a few minutes later, looking towards Helen who had walked in with a new paper. Helen nodded, Bruce going pale as he read the results paper. You sat up a bit, hands laced with Bucky's who looked just as confused.

"The mood swings, the morning sickness, the fact that you haven't had your period yet," that made you go pale. You completely forgot you were two weeks late, too caught up in Royal duties. All the symptoms, the sudden giddiness Natasha and Wanda had.

"Am I...?" You whispered, the true nature of it setting in.

Helen spoke up, "According to Urine and blood tests, yes. We'll let you two have a moment," Nat nodded quickly, dragging Bruce and Sam out the door, Helen and Wanda following as they closed the door.

You and Bucky sat in silence for a moment, letting the fact settle in both of your minds. "You're pregnant," he managed to say in a soft voice, though you didn't hear any malice like you might have feared, only awe and a hint of confusion.

"I'm pregnant." You repeated. Deciding to look up at him, you could see the goofy smile starting to lift his features. "I'm going to be a mother... You're going to be a father..." The shock was still there, but both of you started smiling at each other.

"I'm going to be a father," he repeated. He launched forward, showering your face in kisses, sending you into a fit of giggles. "You're going to carry out child, our baby, you're going to be a mother, I'm going to be a father, oh gods can I handle being a father?" He rambled, getting serious.

You gently cupped his face in your hands, kissing him tenderly, stopping his rambles. You pressed your forehead against his, grinning as your lips ghosted across each other. "You'll be a wonderful father. Caring, protective, strong, loving. We'll learn how to be parents together," you kissed him again and again, holding each other close, deciding that the future mattered, but for right now you two would stay in the moment, together.

-

As the week went on, you and Bucky kept the big news to a small few. Clearly Sam, Natasha, Wanda, and a few people in the clinic knew. The maids figured it out when you didn't get your period, already having started their own rumors. The first person you and Bucky told together was Steve, via video chat. He looked ready to slap Bucky for getting you pregnant, cry that he was going to be an Uncle, and proud that his best friend and little sister were living their happily ever after. Your parents knew as well, and your mother was already flooding you with advice that wouldn’t come in handy for months. Other than that, the rest of the whispers and rumors in court were hushed and behind your backs.

You continued to work, though as the week ended, Bucky had started to sleep over in your Chambers. Something in his chamber smelled off, setting your new maternity sense to ring alarms. You couldn't sleep in his bed, a fact you absolutely hated.

Saying goodnight to yet another new guard you didn't recognize, you closed the chamber doors, Aurora jumping into your bed and curling up. You sat beside her after changing into pajamas, ready to bury yourself into the thick furs Bucky added to your bed while another snow storm roared outside. Aurora whined softly beside you, ears perked up and looking around the room in distress.

"What is it Aura?" You whispered, standing and now on defense. Bucky had a late meeting that night and wouldn't join you for at least an hour or two. You had nothing to defend yourself, glancing around the room you noticed nothing sharp you could use to help you with whatever set off Aurora. That was odd, you had a knife letter opener that was absent from your desk. Something that also suddenly occurred to you was that neither Sam, Natasha, Wanda, or Scott was on duty tonight. That never happened in the months since you've moved to the North. A fact that occurred to you too late. You were defenseless, alone, and surrounded by potential enemies.

Aurora growled beside you, haunches raised and glancing in multiple directions. Fuck, multiple hostiles. The wolf pup stood in front of you protectively, as you thought back to something Natasha used to teach you. Pretend you're smaller and more defenseless than you really are.

As two men appeared from opposite shadows in your room, you appeared to look meek, small. They came closer, still just out of reach of you, or Aurora without leaving the protective circle you and the wolf made. "Look at that, the little princess is all alone." One man cooed. His accent sent a shiver down your spine, you recognized him as a Hydra diplomat from the court.

That's when you got a good look at the other man, and you felt your heart drop. General Brock Rumlow, one of the very men Bucky fought against was standing in your bedroom. "Hello Princess, terribly sorry for the late notice, but you're coming with us. I know all about your fight against the assassin we sent to kill your brother, so don't try anything."

You dropped the meek act and snarled at the man, matching growls with the wolf in front of you. "Now why would I just go with you?"

He laughed, a sick feeling filling you. "Because right now, your little fiancé is next to one of my men. One mistake and my men will slit his throat," you felt your face pale. They could threaten you, but they were threatening Bucky. You felt the strong face you had on crack.

"Don't you dare fucking touch him," you growled, Aurora responding with a bark towards the man. You hoped it was loud enough to alert someone to help you, yet the man in front of you laughed.

"That won't help doggie, all the men outside are mine. You know how easy it was to become your personal guard? Manipulate time schedules, find lab results." Your hands were shaking now, and you felt the bile rise in your throat. "So, Princess, follow me, and call the dog off." You glanced down at Aurora, who was tense, but you then remembered she knew all the secret passageways of the castle and was trained to find yours and Bucky's scent. You whistled lowly, Aurora whining. You repeated it, and Aurora slinked away, rushing towards Bucky. That would set him off, Aurora was known to always curl up into you when you slept and would only part ways when Bucky called her. He should be able to notice something's wrong. You hoped and prayed to every god you knew that he did.

You followed Rumlow, the vile man getting too close for comfort as you walked in the halls. He had a sense of arrogance about him, and most hallways were empty, no one able to see you as Brock pushed a dagger into back to dig at your spine, leading you towards the back entrance.

He pushed open the door, the cold rushed in, making you cold to the bone before you even stepped out. He grabbed you by the arm, his grip burned into your skin. He ran his fingers down your throat, and you growled lowly, close to punching the man. The thought of Bucky getting hurt because of the action made you still. No matter how much he hurt you, you wouldn't let him hurt Bucky. His fingers grazed the golden chain of your necklace, and hooked underneath them, "Now this is cute. You practically have a dog collar on, like the bitch you are," he singsonged into your ear. He ripped the necklace off, and you gasped as the clasp snapped against your skin, breaking. He tossed it to the ground, before shoving you forward into the snow. "Let's go, Princess. It's a decent walk till we get back to your new home." You shivered, now on your hands and knees in the snow, your pajamas not helping you at all. You stood on shaky legs, holding your head up high as you bit your tongue, refusing to give this abhorrent man anything to use against you.

You heard barking in the distance, Aurora finding you, and Bucky right behind. He had blood dripping down his cheek, but on second look, it didn't seem to be his own. Sam and Natasha were beside him, Sam had bruises blooming all over his face, and what looked like a broken nose. Brock pulled you in front of him, the dagger held against your throat. You stilled, weighing your options. Bucky looked feral, the same icy look from months ago when he first walked into your life again was back. The warmth seeped out of him, you were in danger, as was the baby, hisbaby.

"Let her go, Rumlow," he snarled, Aurora at his feet, ready to pounce.

"No can do, she's ours now, Your Majesty," he spit back out. He pressed the dagger closer into your neck, making a small trickle of blood appear. You whined softly, Bucky's eyes shooting to you, pained. As Brock pulled you back onto the terrace, you could see more Hydra gaurds hiding behind the doors. It was a trap all along to take more than one royal. Not on your watch they wouldn't.

Your eyes locked into Bucky, knowing he could see you. You mouthed, 'I love you,' before pushing your elbow back. You knocked Brock back, he grunted, not expecting you to fight back. You shot forward, grabbing onto the doors and locking them, knowing the mechanism would need a reboot to open during the emergency alert Bucky had placed on the castle. This was both your saving grace, and your living nightmare. You were trapped, burying yourself in snow, surrounded by Hydra agents, a steel and glass door between you and your family. But that also meant it was that door between Hydra and Bucky, something you could live with. A realization hit you suddenly. You would, without a doubt, die to protect this man. No matter the cost.

To say Rumlow was pissed off at you was an understatement. You saw his reflection in the glass, noticing the mirrored moves between him and Bucky. They both rushed forward towards you, Bucky having a glass barrier between you. Rumlow grabbed onto you, hitting you in the side of the head with the blunt edge of the knife. "You'll regret that, Princess." He snarled into your ear. The last thing you saw as black dots blurred your vision was Bucky falling to his knees on the other side of the glass, as they took you away from him. His own personal Nightmare.

-

Frozen Heart Tags:

@jsmith509 / @lumar014 / @littlemissporter / @kaylaphantomhive  

@damnbuckyishot / @aveatquevale- / @booksbeforebois  

@marvelgirl7 / @minetticatinwonderland  

Bucky Tags:

@cassandras-musings  / @darkness-doughter / @novaddictx / @thedancingnerdmermaid

For a tag, just reply/comment, if I don’t see it, just message me. Tell me what you think! Literally any comment makes me happy! Like, comment, reblog, interact <3

[fanficwriter013]

The Tower: Unexpected - 2

The Tower: Unexpected An Avengers Fanfic

Series Masterlist

Previous

Pairing:  Avengers x ofc, Bruce Banner x Bucky Barnes x Clint Barton x Wanda Maximoff x Steve Rogers x Natasha Romanoff x Tony Stark x Thor x Sam Wilson x OFC (Elly Cooper)

Word Count: 2354

Warnings: Y’all it’s us, if you don’t know what you’re in for. Boy, you gon cry. Angst baby angst, pregnancy, sickness/vomiting.

Synopsis: A little over 2 years after moving into the Avengers Tower, Elly finds herself pregnant against the odds.  While some are excited, others are terrified, and pregnancy that none expected to happen causes rifts through the group and threatens to end the relationship.  

Author’s Note:  Written with my wordy bitch co-captain @avengerscompound

Chapter 2: Against the Odds

It took quite a while to suspect I was pregnant.  It was after Thor had left for Asgard.  I know you’re probably thinking I’m a huge idiot for that.  You’ve been following the story.  You’ve heard about the kinds of sex I have and with the sheer volume of people I have it with.  I’ve also never mentioned a condom once.  The thing is I have Implanon in place.  The stats for that are good.  Yeah, okay, no birth control is 100% effective.  But this one is like 1/1000 women every three years.  The odds were in my favor.

I also can hear the mom in the back of my head yelling at me about how ‘condoms don’t just protect against pregnancy, Elise’.  That is true, and okay I’m not the smartest person.  I got carried away sometimes, but they are the Avengers.  I figured with the amount Natasha had stalked me, to begin with, they had something in place to make sure nothing was passed on to other people or vice versa.  I was right in the end too, so back off, mom.  Also, don’t follow my example, it gets you pregnant.

The thing I didn’t mention, was before I even came along Bruce had developed a contraceptive for the men.  He didn’t want to risk himself getting anyone pregnant and he thought it would save any problems with women outside trying to make claims against them.  I’d had a talk very early on with Sam about babies, and if they had wanted them and what would they do if say Wanda ever got accidentally knocked up.  He’d told me that the men were all on this shot they took every month, and babies weren’t really in the books for them.  That maybe later Wanda might decide she wanted to.  She was very maternal.  Right now though, none of the men in the group wanted nor felt they could handle being parents and if that changed for Wanda or if it was something I thought I wanted it might be the thing that took us out of the arrangement we had.

Ugh… fuck my life, seriously.

So I’d come to terms with that.  With my upbringing, I was never really sure if my biological call to have kids was me or the conditioning my parents had beat into me that I needed to be a wife and mother.  I knew at the time I had that conversation I wasn’t ready to, and maybe that would never change.

Then I started getting sick.  It was low-level nausea that dulled as the day progressed but it worsened every day.  I felt achy too.  Yes, in the breasts.  No one questioned it.  Double birth control, we were fine.  I was coming down with the flu or something.  I didn’t notice if I’d skipped periods or not.  My birth control made that happen anyway.

As soon as the thought passed through my head I panicked.  With Wanda here, I couldn’t risk her hearing that thought until I knew if it meant anything.  If she heard it, she’d get excited and then I wouldn’t be able to think about this rationally.  So I rushed to the closest CVS and bought some pregnancy tests and took them straight to my apartment and used them.

Every single one of them turned positive.

I didn’t know what to do.  I had been told in explicit terms they didn’t want children.  I wasn’t even sure if I wanted them.  Only looking at the tests I wasn’t having an ���I’ve got get rid of them’ feeling.  I was worried they’d be angry with me.  That conditioning I had that I’d get in trouble for disappointing people was pretty heavily ingrained.  I was worried that I would make them feel trapped into doing something they didn’t want to do.  It was just, I could picture myself holding this baby.  I could picture them with a child.  Maybe it would have been better if Wanda had heard my thought then she could have told me what to do.

I considered calling up Jax and talking to him.  Maybe getting Clarke to just take me to a clinic and getting this over with and the others would never even have to know how close I came to ruining their lives.

Only I couldn’t do that.  They had a right to know.  To have input on this.  I imagined every single worst case scenario that you could imagine.  Bruce Hulking out and destroying the place.  Getting tossed to the street.  Having them accuse me of cheating on them.  Demanding DNA tests.  Even with all those thoughts, I told FRIDAY to call an emergency family meeting and took the elevator up to the common room with one of the positive tests in a baggie to wait for them all to arrive.

One by one they all trickled in each asking me what was wrong as I sat curled up in one of the recliners.  Each wanting to comfort me, but not knowing how when they didn’t know what I was dealing with.

Finally, Wanda came in with Sam and she looked at me and squeaked rushing over and climbing into the chair next to me and nuzzling into my side as she stroked her fingers gently over my stomach.

“Okay, so we’re all here.  What’s going on?”  Tony asked.

“So... um... I need to tell you something and I really need you to stay calm Bruce.  And also... I didn't mean for this to happen.  Okay?  I ... this wasn't something I planned.”  I said looking directly at him.  I could feel my pulse racing.  Even with Wanda’s comforting touch, all I could think was the next thing out of my mouth was going to destroy all of this.

“El, honey, we've talked about this. You can't start a sentence like that, and expect me to stay calm.”   Bruce said, stiffening up.

I shook my head feeling a very strong urge to cry.  “I don't know how else to do this, B.  It's bad either way.  At least you can brace yourself.”

“Rip the band-aid off, El,”  Tony said.

I took a deep breath in and dug in my pocket for the test and tossed it on the coffee table.  “I’m pregnant.”

Wanda squealed and squeezed me, peppering little kisses on my cheek.  The rest of the room froze and stared at me.  Some with their jaws dropped open.  Steve slowly went and picked up the test and turned it over in his hand.

“But - but - but … I, I, uh, made…”  Bruce stuttered.  He seemed to be turning green at the edges and I jumped up and rushed over to him, getting on my hands and knees in front of him and taking his hand.

“I know.  I know.  I was on it too. Look,”  I said twisting my arm so he could see the little bar implanted under my skin.  “I still am.  I don't know what happened.”

“I don't…”  Bruce said and shook his head suddenly, he was turning a darker and his muscles started shifting.

“Bruce.  Come on, you can't run from this.”  I implored, putting my head in his lap and digging my fingers into his thigh.  He started breathing heavily and I could feel the way his thigh muscles tensed and grew under me.  “Bruce.  I swear to god…”

“El, back up,”  Wanda said.

I burst into tears and scrambled back from him, tears streaming down my face as Bruce doubled over and changed, growing larger, his clothes tearing and his skin turning green.

“El,”  Nat said, “Come here.”

I moved up next to her and she wrapped me in her arms as Hulk took complete control over from Bruce.  “I’m sorry.”  I sobbed.  “I know no one wanted this.  I fucked up.”

She pulled me tightly against her and rubbed my back as I cried against her.

“Hulk, baby?”  Hulk rumbled moving closer to us.

I looked up at him through tear stained eyes.  “Hey, big guy.  Yeah.  Something like that.”

“Hulk, here.”  He said tapping his chest.

“Thank you,”  I said patting the back of his hand.  It was nice knowing I had someone else here who would support me, even if he wasn’t exactly the one that I wanted.  “I don’t know... I don’t know what to do.”

“We get ready,”  Wanda said.  “For a baby.”

I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand.  “Yeah?”  I said and looked around at the others.  “Is that what everyone wants?”

Hulk huffed and nodded his head.  “Hulk want baby.”

I took a deep breath.  “Okay.  I guess.  I guess I need to give the rest of you time to process.  If anyone has strong reasons why you think I shouldn’t go through with this, now is the time.  I literally have no idea about the biology factor.  I don’t know how far along I am even.  Might be timed with a Thor visit.  A week either side I think in any case.  So I’m not sure how we tell him about that.”

“I could maybe run some tests,”  Tony said.  “You'd have to take your own blood, and I'm not the biologist.”

“Okay.  So we run blood tests to find out who?  That’s what we want to do now?”  I asked.

“No,”  Steve said firmly.  “We shouldn’t know whose they are.  We’re in this together.  That is all our baby.”

“You don’t want to know?  But what if it is Thor’s and there’s some special Asgardian prenatal care I need.  What if it’s Bruce’s and it hulks out inside me.”  I said.  I was half joking and then it occurred to me what I’d just said.  “Oh god, what if it hulks out inside me?  Can a fetus hulk out?”

“I'm not even sure I'd be able to read the results to know who's it belonged to,”  Tony said.

“I can.  But I - I’m gonna need a Doctor.  Like an actual obstetrician.  I haven’t made an appointment yet because I just found out, but it can’t just be the way we do things.”  I explained.  There was a tendency in the tower for the others to rely heavily on Bruce and Sam for their medical care, even though neither were technically medical doctors.  If it was really bad they’d call in Helen Cho but they didn’t like to trust other people.  I needed to make sure Tony didn’t just try and take over as my doctor instead of actually getting one.

“I'm going to do the research,”  Tony said with a nod.  “With the potential, we need the best.”

“Okay.  But also quickly.  There’s vitamins and stuff I’m supposed to take and I have to get this out of my arm.  And I don’t know what I’m doing.” I said putting my head in my hands.  “I guess we can make it that if you don’t want to know we don’t have to test you but if you do we can.  That’s fair right?”

“I can agree to this,”  Steve said and Sam nodded with him.

“Okay,”  I said and took a shaky breath.  “And we’re all... I’m keeping it, right?  That’s what’s happening?”

Bucky looked at me with a pained expression.  “Do you not want to keep it?”

“I don’t know.  I don’t know what to do.”  I said breaking down again.  “I thought you’d all be angry at me.  Bruce is obviously angry at me.”

Hulk shook his head.  “Puny Banner scared.  Hulk here.  Hulk want baby.”  He put his hand forward.  “Hulk feel?”

“Yes.  There’s nothing to really feel yet.  But you can.”  I said leaning back against Natasha to give him room.  He gently placed his hand on me, so it wrapped around my side.  “You’ll be able to feel them when they’re bigger.”

“Them?”  Natasha asked.

“I - oh no,”  I said rubbing my head.  The idea of more than one was more I could even deal with right now.  “That was just a nongendered them but what if it’s them?”

“Twins.”  Wanda squealed.  Her excitement was nice but I was starting to feel emotionally exhausted like all I wanted to do was curl up and sleep until the baby was born.

“Let’s not... let’s just wait it’s probably just one right?”  I said.

“And you think you're how far?”  Steve asked.

“This thing messes up my cycle,”  I answered, tapping my arm where my birth control was.  “I haven’t had a period for over three months.  I started feeling sick a few weeks ago. I started actually throwing up three days ago.”

“Okay, something for a blood sample then,”  Steve said.

“Ultrasound too, I suppose.  I'm sorry.”

“Honey, no,”  Steve said.  “We should have been more careful.”

“How more careful could we have been?”  I asked.

“But…”  Sam said quietly.

“But?”  I asked.

“Bruce’s drug. There were tests.”  He said.

It felt like Sam had slapped me in the face.  Of all the people to suggest I had manipulated this somehow I didn’t expect it to be him.  “What do you think I did, Sam?  You think I sabotaged it somehow?  You think I've been going out and sleeping around on top of the 9 of you and hoping this would happen?  I'm sorry.  I'm sorry that I'm apparently the most fertile person on the planet that only one escapee managed to do this.”

“No, honey. I'm sorry. I didn't mean that.”  Sam said.  “I'm just trying to figure this out. Trying to process it. Which I'm sure you're doing the same.”

“Sorry.  Shouldn’t have snapped.   I know no one wanted this.” I said quietly.  I’d started feeling really sick and I didn’t want to be in here anymore.

Wanda looked over at Natasha and something seemed to pass between them.  “I wanted this.”  She said.

“So do I,”  Natasha said.  “Now come on.  Time for you to have a sleep.  They can have some time to process it.”  She said and scooped me up, carrying me into the shared bedroom.  It was quite a while before I saw many of those men again.

// NEXT

[hqwkeyes]

Hey I loved you’re Natasha fic!! Would you maybe write one with R super worried about Nat cause she gets news that Nat’s mission went bad or something like that but with a happy ending? Angst to fluff is my favorite lol, thank you!!!

Wounded

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Word Count: 1,897

Warnings: injury, mentions of blood (literally one line), slight angst, fluff, Peter being cute

A/N: Hi there! Thank you so, so much to the anon who requested this! I’m so glad you enjoyed my last Nat fic (it means a lot to me!), and I hope you like this one just as much! Also, there isn’t too much angst because I didn’t want to make myself cry (I’m sorry). I hope everyone else likes this as well! Happy reading!

You received word from Steve about an hour ago and haven’t stopped pacing around the exit to the launch pad since then. They should be arriving soon, so why isn’t the medical team out here ready to meet them yet?

As if on cue, you get a message from Sam stating that they are five minutes out and that they will be bringing Nat up to the med bay themselves. You tell him that you will be waiting for them when they arrive on the quinjet.

They arrive two minutes earlier than expected, rushing Natasha out on a stretcher. Steve is swiftly yet carefully wheeling her inside as he tells you to stay downstairs while the doctors work with her and that Bucky and Sam will fill you in. Clint comes in behind them, helping Steve get her upstairs as quickly as possible.

You try to follow them, but Sam grabs you by the arm.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. Cap’s orders,” he tells you, earning him a sharp glare. He and Bucky sit you down in the common room and begin telling you the details of the mission and where things went wrong.

“We were supposed to be in and out, Steve and Nat go in as a team and then split up. He got the weapons and she retrieved the stolen intelligence files,” Bucky explains.

“Clint and I were lookout and getaway, and Bucky was backup. The whole mission went well until we were all heading back to the quinjet,” Sam tells you with a solemn look on his face.

“Steve and Nat were exiting the building when I heard shouting. They must’ve heard it too because they bolted, and she damn near knocked me over in the process,” Bucky says with a light chuckle at the end.

“Anyway, the guards came outside and started shooting. I think Steve was grazed by a bullet but he wouldn’t let me check it out. It’s probably healed by now anyway.”

“Can you get to the part where Nat got hurt?” You know you should be more patient with them—less rude, too. They understand, though, and Sam picks up with the story again.

“Yeah, sorry. She was below me but then she just went down. She got back up quickly and kept going, but she was shot two more times. Apparently there were snipers on the roof, but they couldn’t have been that great because neither of them got a kill shot in.”

“So she got shot three times? The leg and where else?” Your tone is demanding.

“She’s gonna be fine, Y/N.” Sam’s voice is calm, and the hand on your shoulder brings you back to Earth for a moment.

You nod. Stand up. Pace around a bit. Then, you make a break for the elevator.

Bucky is fast on his feet, catching you at the metal doors that just began to open. He holds you against his chest, not to restrain you, but to soothe you—it is a warm embrace.

She cannot die. She cannot die. She cannot die.

You don’t even realize that you’re crying until you pull back and notice the tears staining Bucky’s shirt. You mumble an apology, but he offers you an understanding smile. You bury your face in his chest again, and he holds you there for a while. Sam joins in too, hugging you.

Not too long after you’ve settled down—to the best of your ability, at least—Clint and Steve came in. Steve’s arm was bandaged up, likely from the graze that Sam mentioned earlier.

“She just got out of surgery a few minutes ago. Dr. Cho said that everything went better than she expected it to and that Nat will be asleep for a little while,” Steve tells the whole group, but he faces you. He knows how stressed you must have been the past few hours.

You audibly sigh in relief.

“Doc said to come back in the morning. She should wake up then,” Clint adds. You engulf him in a hug, and you can feel the vibrations through his chest as he chuckles, wrapping his arms around you.

“You okay, kid?” He asks as he pulls away, and you nod.

“She’s a fighter,” you mumble, and he ruffles your hair.

“Damn right, she is. I took out the assholes who shot her while we were retreating, though.”

“Of course you did.” For the first time today, a genuine laugh escapes you.

“It’s getting late. You should get some rest, Y/N. All of you should. It’s been a rough day,” Steve says in his Captain voice, and Sam whines like a child about not wanting to go to bed yet.

You decide to take his advice, bidding everyone goodnight before getting ready for bed. Rather than sleeping in your own room, though, you fall asleep in the chair at Natasha’s bedside. You feel safer by her side anyway.

The following morning, you’re startled awake by someone shaking you. You look up to find Sam, a small grin on his face.

“I should’ve known you would come here,” he says.

“I couldn’t sleep without her.” Your statement is paired with a slight shrug. Sam’s smile widens as Natasha stirs.

“I’ll come back in a bit with the team,” he tells you, patting your shoulder before exiting the room.

“Thank you, Sam,” you call to him.

“No problem,” his voice echoes from down the hall.

You turn to see Natasha’s eyes fluttering a bit, trying to open but failing a few times before finally getting it right. She lifts an arm, shielding her eyes from the light. You immediately dim the lights in the room to better suit her eyes. She looks over at you, slightly alarmed. Once she realizes where she is and that you’re here, she visibly relaxes.

“Hi baby,” you say softly.

She tries to speak, but her voice is hoarse and her throat is scratchy. You’re quick to get her a glass of water, helping her sit up a bit to take a sip. She’s wearing that smile that she’s reserved just for you when she’s finished drinking, and you could swear it could light up the whole compound, let alone this room.

“I got shot,” is all she says, smile still plastered to her face. A breathy laugh leaves her lips, and it’s the prettiest sound you’ve ever heard.

“I know. Sam and Bucky told me what happened on the mission.”

“Did you sleep here?” Her voice is soft, still recovering from not being used for a while.

You nod. “I couldn’t sleep without you,” you tell her bashfully. She stretches an arm out and places her hand on your knee.

“I’m glad you were here.” She takes deep breath before scooting over in her bed to make room for you. You scold her for moving too much when you notice her wince, but she dismisses it as she pats the spot beside her.

You noticed a thick bandage wrapped around her shoulder, so you deduced that she must’ve been shot there. Carefully, you climb into the bed beside her, as you don’t know where her third wound is. You decide to ask, and she points to her abdomen on the lower right side.

“You really are a mess, huh?” you joke, and she begins to laugh before she winces again, nodding slightly.

She’s softer right now, more vulnerable. She lets her walls down around you and only you. Okay, maybe around Clint, too, but not to the same degree. You love it, though; you get to see a side of her that very, very few people have the pleasure of seeing.

She’s playing with your hair when your eyes meet. A smile breaks out on each of your faces, and you lean down a bit to kiss your girlfriend. Despite all that she’s been through in the last 24 hours, her plush lips still somehow taste sweet.

A quiet “aww” pulls the two of you away from each other slowly.

Natasha’s face lights up when she sees the entire team standing there, including Peter, Scott, and Carol.

“How’re you feeling, Romanoff?” Tony asks.

“Like I’ve been shot three times,” she deadpans, and you can hear Sam snickering in the back.

Peter leaves a vase full of flowers and a Get Well Soon balloon on her bedside table.

“Oh, thanks, Pete. You didn’t have to do that for me,” Natasha tells the young boy, her cheeks dimpling as she smiles.

“Oh, it was nothing. I’m just really glad you’re okay.” She gives him a light hug, and Steve is chuckling at the fear in poor Peter’s eyes—he’s afraid of hurting her.

Everyone sits around the room and chit chats for a while, with Wanda and Carol sitting at the foot of the bed, minding Nat’s wounded leg. Clint is sitting beside Nat, holding the hand that you’re not and stroking her hair.

Dr. Cho comes in a little later to tell her that the she’s going to put her in the same chamber she used on Clint a few years back to regenerate the tissue later on in the day.

The gang all leave to get lunch, despite Peter’s wishes to stay back to hang out with Natasha and yourself. Steve wanted the two of you to have a little bit more alone time, and he promised to bring something back for the two of you.

There’s a deafening silence in the room once they’re all gone, and it gets you thinking.

“I really thought I was gonna lose you,” you confess. “I-I saw all the blood dripping from the stretcher, and the rags—Steve tried to hide them from me but I saw them. I was so worried, I almost took Bucky down to get to you.” That last part gets Nat laughing again, but this time she laughs through the pain.

“I’m right here, my love,” she whispers, and you close your eyes and relish in the sound of her voice; the voice you thought you might never hear again.

You press a feather-light kiss to her forehead.

“I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you,” you mumble.

“You don’t have to. I’m right here, Y/N. I’m not going anywhere. Some amateur snipers can’t take me down for good.” Her tone is serious, her grip on your hand tightening.

“Look at me,” she tells you, tilting your chin to face her. “I’m right here. I’m okay. In fact, I’m more than okay because I have you here, and a supportive family getting us lunch.” The last part earns a laugh from you, which brings a smile to Natasha’s lips. She leans in and kisses you again, cupping your cheek with her free hand—the one on the arm that isn’t wounded.

The jingling of keys catches your attention as well as Nat’s, and you both pull away to see who’s in the room.

“Sorry, Steve forgot his keys,” Bucky mumbles awkwardly before leaving the room with a wave. The two of you wave back, giggles spilling out into the hallway for him to hear.

Natasha leans in and kisses you again. The kiss is short and sweet, followed by a peck on your nose.

“I love you,” she says, gazing into your eyes.

“I love you too, baby,” you say, grinning broadly as you gently tug her closer to you, cuddling until your food arrives.

[bunnymcbunnister]

SPN Season 15 Spoiler Sheet, update 10/14

Episode one down! Hope everyone enjoyed. Not too much this week after the glut of info of last week. Some photos from ep 3 is pretty much all we got. No episode description yet for ep 4, so that confirms the ep is unlikely to air on Halloween so we will have a one week hiatus. Under the cut!

General Info (oldest to newest)

There is likely to be 20 episodes

They are filming the 4th episode 1st, which Jensen is directing

Returning this year are: Rowena, Ketch, Eileen, Amara, Adam, and Kevin

Jared and Jensen know the ending. Jensen struggled with it at first. Misha does not know the ending as of SDCC

Matt Cohen and Richard Speight Jr. will direct

Sam, Dean, and Cas will struggle with the concept of free will and if they ever really had it

The focus will be more on Hell than Heaven

There is hope to wrap up some Wayward Daughters storylines in the back half of the season

They are adding a whole extra day to filming to do the final scene (Implies logistics- lots of returning people?)

Brad Bucker used the word “romance” when asked about Sam and Dean’s arcs. Did not specify who.

Chuck will be more of an absent protagonist in the 1st half of the season (but he in in ep 4)

At the beginning of the season Dean and Cas will still have a rift. They will reconcile “at some point”. Jensen claims as of script 4 they still have friction. This has been repeated several times, from Misha as well. He indicated Dean is still mad at Cas, but Cas doesn’t feel to blame for Mary’s death.

In an interview, Kripe indicated that the series ending would have “peace” for Sam and Dean

Not much new at the TCA’s, but it was said it is “unlikely” Jeffery Dean Morgan will be back since his last appearance was such a good end note. There were some jokes about a Castiel spin off. Hell, I’d watch.

There will be a special tribute ep, not clear if its one of the 20 or additional

Misha will be in 15 out of 20 episodes this season

According to Dabb, Sam and Dean are going to start to lose people who, in past seasons, we would’ve never lost — and lose them in a very real way. Our guys are going to realize there’s a certain finality, and some of the things they’ve relied on to get through the day — people, talents, things like that — they are no longer going to be able to roll out. And that’s going to throw them for a loop (Unfortunately, my guess in Rowena)

Also according to Dabb, Jack is still in the empty and “he’s not coming back in the near future” (this makes no sense. He’s on set for several episodes- interacting with the boys)

Cas’ deal with the Empty may come up later in the season.

Kevin will return.

Season 15 promo: https://youtu.be/V232RpcCdTY

Christan Kane (Leverage/Angel) will star as “Leo” an “old friend” of Deans.

Dabb intimated that Chuck was inherently responsible for killing Mary when asked how the boys would respond to Jack.

Adam Rose, who played Aaron Bass from the golem episode vauge-tweeted about working a show with two badass leads. Could be Supernatural, but I think the timing is off- he indicated he was filming late Friday night.

General season 15 promo- more of a retrospective: https://youtu.be/_hlkNQL5Ecg

Dabb compared Chuck and John Winchester, claiming that Dean would have to break free of “conditioning.” Also, for Jack “there have been cosmic forces fighting for his attention since he was in the womb — and that will continue. As much as this season is about Sam and Dean finding agency, it’s also about Castiel finding agency, and it’s about Jack finding agency. As always, death is never the end. It’s just part of the journey and that’s certainly true with Jack.”

Per Variety: At the outset of the season, the “Supernatural” foursome of Dean, Sam, Castiel and Jack are split up, but Dabb notes they won’t be for long because “ultimately this is a found family, and they have deep emotional bonds” that make up the most important part of the show.

Sam’s wound from the equalizer gives his powers/an advantage of some kind (per TVGuide)

Jack will be a critical part of the ending of the show

The cage/Adam is looking like it will be coming up for midseason

Shaving People, Punting Things: https://youtu.be/azTwku2uosA

The shaving promo, punting things promo shows glimpses or Lucifer!Sam and MOC!Dean, as well as bearded Dean in tactical equipment.

Episode 15x02

Title: Raising Hell

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS: SENDING OUT AN SOS – Sam (Jared Padalecki), Dean (Jensen Ackles) and Castiel (Misha Collins) call on Rowena (Guest Star Ruth Connell) to help keep the evil souls at bay and get an unexpected assist from Ketch (Guest Star David Haydn-Jones). Robert Singer directed the episode written by Brad Buckner & Eugenie Ross-Leming (#1503). Original airdate 10/17/2019.

Written by: Buckleming

Director: Singer

Filming Dates:  8/12- 8/21

Airdate: 10/17

Photos: http://www.ksitetv.com/supernatural/supernatural-15-2-photos-raising-hell/196890/

Promo: https://youtu.be/uSzwEXKZRw8

Sneak Peak:

Castiel? YES Jack ? YES (well, as Bel)

Guest stars: Ruth Connell, David Haydn-Jones, Rob Benedict, Osric Cho, Emily Swallow (?)

Other Spoilers/info :

A set was a high school set up to be a shelter.

Kevin, Chuck, Ketch and Rowena will be in this. Maybe Amara too. Emily Swallow was in town for only a short time, so I imagine it would just be a scene or two

Ghosts/zombies were seen on set. There will be a scene with Rowena attacking them that includes at least Dean and Cas.

There will be one longer scene in a park.

Alex was in sunglasses again - now we know as Bel

Ruth posted two vids of Misha claiming that he had filmed several scenes, but had no dialog - over three days so it must be a scripted reason (A spell? Chuck? Is he giving Dean the silent treatment?)

Ruth posted a video with her trailer, but the video showed Alex’s as well, so Jack

Misha posted from set in costume. Minus the coat again, but I’m still blaming the heat…. But he was without in the two Ruthie videos as well… soo……? I don’t know. I still think it’s a heat issue.

Night shoots are scheduled in a warehouse. Hand painted signs indicating quarantine were nearby

Kevin is back

Episode 15x03

Title: The Rupture

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS: AS IT IS WRITTEN – Sam (Jared Padalecki) and Dean (Jensen Ackles) together with Rowena (guest star Ruth Connell) work tirelessly to keep all of hell from breaking loose. Castiel (Misha Collins) cannot forgive an arrogant betrayal. Charles Beeson directed the episode written by Robert Berens. (#1504). Original Airdate 10/24/2019. AS IT IS WRITTEN – Sam (Jared Padalecki) and Dean (Jensen Ackles) together with Rowena (guest star Ruth Connell) work tirelessly to keep all of hell from breaking loose. Castiel (Misha Collins) cannot forgive an arrogant betrayal. Charles Beeson directed the episode written by Robert Berens. (#1504). Original Airdate 10/24/2019.

Written by: Berens

Director: Charles Beeson

Filming Dates:  8/22-9/2

Airdate: 10/24

Photos: http://www.ksitetv.com/supernatural/supernatural-spoilers-rupture-images-description/197376/

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel? yes Jack? yes (as Bel)

Guest stars:  Ruthie Connell

Other Spoilers/info:

Part of this ep will take place in hell as well as the cemetery where Jack died at the end of last season

Misha mentioned a scene at VanCon with him, Sam, Dean, Rowena, and Jack/Bel

Sam Smith was on set, but I would imagine she was visiting as she was in town for VanCon

Cas will leave “in a huff”

Promo pictures show Cas bleeding from the ears

Episode 15x04 (filmed out of order)

Title: Atomic Monsters

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS:

Written by: Davy Perez

Director: Jensen Ackles

Filming Dates:  7/18-7/29

Airdate: 11/7

Photos:

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel? Probably not  Jack? Probably not

Guest stars:  Rob Benedict

Other Spoilers/info:

Jensen directed

Misha will not be in this ep

SD Comic Con was during filming

Jensen mentioned  a guest star “fan favorite”  that hasn’t been seen since season 7 that is no longer in the business. Guesses include Becky, who hasn’t acted in a while but isn’t exactly a fan favorite, Meg, who hasn’t acted but she was in season 8, and Balthazar or Frank or Jo or Rufus, but all act frequently. Jensen doesn’t always have the most accurate season memory, so he could be off on the season. Since this seems like a Chuck episode, my guess is Becky but I hope for Meg. SOURCE UNCONFIRMED- I haven’t seen this in a reliable source, so take it with a grain of salt. UPDATE- sounds like Becky in the Shaving People, Punting things trailer.

There was a beaver mascot on set… it looks like they are filming at a school called Beaverdale

Jensen and Jared filed outside in fed suits

Chuck will be in this one. Jensen directed him first alone with his beard unshaved (so maybe a solo Chuck scene or him interacting with others/not the boys). There are also theories of a time jump in this ep.

This will be a one off, classic monster hunting episode with some ties to ongoing storylines. Sam and Dean will leave the bunker to keep their skills sharp

Dean will be in the bunker in tactical equipment with a BEARD- fighting someone 

Episode 15x05

Title: Proverbs 17:3

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS:

Written by: Yockey

Director: Speight

Filming Dates:  9/4-9/13

Airdate: 11/14

Photos:

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel? No  Jack? doubtful

Guest stars:

Other Spoilers/info::

This will most likely be Yockey’s last episode.

Matt Cohen was around, but I imagine he is following directors to prep for his own debut directing.

Scenes were filmed in the bunker and in a wooded area. A woman could be heard screaming in the outside scene.

Episode 15x06

Title: Golden Time

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS:

Written by: Meredith Glynn

Director: Steve Boyum

Filming Dates:  9/16-9/25

Airdate: 11/21

Photos:

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel? Yes Jack? Not sure

Guest stars:

Other Spoilers/info:

Misha tweeted from set in costume, so Cas.

Misha also tweeted a pic in blood spatter with two bullet holes in his shirt

Ruth also posted a pic of herself covered in blood

At least Ruth and Jared filmed in Rowena’s apartment

This will be a witch episode- Witches will invade Rowena’s apartment looking for books. They are very powerful. Dean gets thrown into a wall and Sam uses magic to stop them (from TVGuide)

Episode 15x07

Title: Last Call

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS:

Written by: Jeremy Adams

Director: Amyn Kaderali

Filming Dates:  9/26- 10/7

Airdate: Dec 7th is what Christian Kane tweeted…. But that is a Saturday. Dec 5th maybe?

Photos:

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel ? Yes Jack ?

Guest stars:

Other Spoilers/info :

Misha posted from set in new shoes- very shiny with well tailored pants. (The next day he posted in full Cas costume, so are the shoes a one off? Another outfit with new shoes?)

Misha and Jensen made a video from set. I feel like if Jared was around he would have been in it since it was about money raised?  Maybe a Dean Cas scene?

There will be a battle scene in this that Jensen mentioned he was looking forward to and we would enjoy.

After NJ Con, it appeared that Jensen returned to work, Jared and Misha stayed an extra day and then Misha went home.

Jensen and Christian filmed at a bar called Swazey’s. This was the fight scene Jensen was referring to.

At some point, Sam might be shirtless or we can see part of his chest- Jared had his anti-possession tattoo at the weekend convention.

Per TVGuide, Leo and Dean will have a wild night out in an effort for Dean to recapture his mojo. Dean will become the lead of a band called Dean and the Impalas, which is made up of Supernatural crew.

Osric Chau popped over to set, but he is filming on Legends of Tomorrow in the same studio.

Episode 15x08

Title: Last Call

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS:

Written by: Buckleming? Source unconfirmed)

Director: Speight

Filming Dates:  10/8- 10/18  (no filming 10/14 for Canadian Thanksgiving)

Airdate:

Photos:

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel ? yes Jack ?

Guest stars: Jake Abel, Shoshannah Stern

Other Spoilers/info:

Jake Abel posted a script with the caption “hell hath no fury like a brother scorned” He’s been on set for several days. 

Shoshannah Stern was spotted on set- Eileen!

Sebastian Roche also came by, he is filming on Batgirl (no Balthazar sadly)

Episode 15x09

Title:

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS:

Written by: Berens

Director: Singer

Filming Dates:  

Airdate:

Photos:

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel ? Jack ?

Guest stars:

Other Spoilers/info (newest to oldest):

________________________________________________________

Past Episodes

Episode 15x01

Title: Back and to the Future

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS: Picking up where we left off last season, Sam, Dean and Castiel are left to defend the world after all the souls in hell have been released and are back on Earth and free to kill again.

Written by: Dabb

Director: Showwalter

Filming Dates:  7/30-8/9 (no filming 8/5 for Canadian holiday)

Airdate: Oct 10

Photos: http://www.ksitetv.com/supernatural/supernatural-season-premiere-photos-back-and-to-the-future/196183/

Promo: (for at least ep one and two) ttps://youtu.be/V232RpcCdTY

Sneak Peak:

Castiel? Yes Jack ? yes

Guest stars:

Other Spoilers/info:

The first episode will start right where the previous left off

Misha posed with the John Wayne Gacy clown

Jensen posted a series of pics- one clean shaven, one vid of him shaving, and one where he    appeared to be in character with blood and dirt on his face and in Dean plaid, but with his beard… confusing- some time jump theories are developing for ep 4.

Jensen was photoed filming (wearing an FBI jacket)outside with Alex

Misha and Jared filmed outside with a woman and young girl. They were running from the clown guy and a few other zombie looking creatures. CAS WAS NAKED (haha just no trench) and holding a shotgun. It could have been rehearsal and there was no camera in the clip shared by a fan which might explain the coat? Another fan said it was hot and Misha kept taking the coat off, so I’m sure this just a piece of rehearsal footage.

Alex was filming in white sunglasses. Other set photos indicate he had makeup on his eyes making them look burnt out. There is some spec that Jack will come back blind.

Misha posted a pic of the 4 of them in the impala

According to Variety, the boys will escape the zombies in a temp shelter. They are working together, but Cas feel “detached.” Misha seems to indicate that Cas feels unfairly blamed in Mary’s death and is deeply upset about Jack.

According to TVGuide, after they fight past the zombies, they end up in a mausoleum. They end up making a “deal with the devil” to get out. This is particularly upsetting to Cas.

Posing as FBI agents, the boys seal off the town as a gas leak to contain the monsters temporarily.

Dean’s time in hell is brought up

Sam’s wound might have more meaning

Jack’s body is being used by an entity that will help the boys get out of the zombie situation.

[mandowh0re]

The Universe Takes, and It Gives

CH 1

Summary: The war with Thanos is over, but some sacrifices still need to be made. Will Steve and Tony ever get their happy ending?

Warnings: language? Look you should know by now that all of my fics have that. Angst, unhealthy coping habits, mentions of suicide, eventual fluff.

A/N: In this fic, Thanos happens earlier, Civil War didn’t happen, and Peter is a baby. I also made up the name of the orphanage because I didn’t want to do research. The irondad part of this will be in the next chapter okay thanks for coming to my ted talk.

Word Count: 1554

Happy reading!

In order to destroy the soul stone, someone had to sacrifice themselves.

Steve and Tony stood on the edge of the cliff on Vormir, with Red Skull and Strange waiting behind them.

“A sacrifice for a sacrifice.” Skull had told them.

They had been standing there in stunned silence for the past two minutes. Finally, Steve spoke up.

“It should be me.”

Tony’s head snapped up, his eyes meeting Steve’s.

“What?? No. It needs to be me-“

“The world needs Tony Stark,” Steve interrupted, “It needs its best defender. It doesn’t need Captain America anymore.”

“But I do, Rogers! You can’t just… You can’t just leave! I can’t lose you!”

His voice broke at the end, and by this time tears were streaming down his cheeks and he was choking back sobs.

“Tony,”

“What about everything we wanted? What about the future we talked about! I- I had a ring, dammit! I had a ring for you when this was all over with and I… I can’t do this! Please, you can’t do this,” Tony was full on sobbing now, no longer caring who saw him.

Steve was doing his best not to cry. He didn’t want Tony to see him cry, to see that he was scared. Or that he too, had a ring.

Steve opened one of the many zippers on his pant legs and pulled out a small black, silk bag with a red string that kept it tied shut.

He gently placed a hand on Tony’s cheek, the smaller man leaning into the touch, and kissed his forehead, then his lips. He placed the small contraption Tony had created to hold each infinity stone into his lover’s hands, along with the tony bag.

“Keep the world turning. Because it doesn’t stop without me.”

Tony’s eyes flew open, “Steve, no, please-!“

Tony reached out with his empty hand, but it was too late. Steve had let himself fall back off of the cliff. He watched with horror as the love of his life fell to his final death.

A world war, a fight with a psychopath with a tesseract, a plane crash, seventy years in ice, a fight against aliens, a fight against a HYDRA super soldier and the rest of the murderous group, only to die by his own sacrifice.

The next thing Tony knew, he was sitting in the water, a ways away from where he had previously been a just few seconds ago. In his hand was the purple infinity stone, shattered and no longer glowing.

Taking a few moments to gather what had just happened, he tossed the pieces into the water and opened the bag that was now soaked.

Tipping it upside down, a beautiful silver band tumbled out onto his calloused hand.

Tony’s breath caught in his throat.

Carefully turning the ring, he caught sight of inscription on the inside.

You have been in every way, all I could ever want. I love you.

Strange ended up having to come get him, opening the portal and the cloak carrying most of Tony’s weight as they walked back to Earth.

As soon as the pair came into sight, it was immediately obvious that Steve wasn’t coming back. Nobody spoke a word.

Bucky did, however, fall to his knees. Natasha and Sam went to help him.

Strange handed Tony off to Rhodey, who took him back to the compound to try and sleep, and told the others to meet up there later.

Of course, Tony didn’t sleep. He didn’t eat. He didn’t tinker. He stayed in bed and cried, sometimes showering, and only because Rhodey threatened to use sedatives and give him a sponge bath.

After two weeks of unhealthy habits, starving himself, little to no sleep, and hardly getting any sunlight, Tony’s body shut down.

He was sitting at the table in the dining area, attempting to stomach the noodle soup Rhodey made for him when his vision began to blur and his hearing began to ring. When he tried to say something, he fell to the floor.

The first time he came to he couldn’t open his eyes, and his hearing was muffled, like he was underwater.

“-blood sugar is way too low… gurney up here…”

“-carry him…”

“-heart attack?”

Then he was out again.

The second time he came to he was laying on something softer. But he still couldn’t manage to open his eyes, or even move, to attempt to figure out his situation.

And to make matters worse, this time his hearing wasn’t even clear enough to make out any words around him.

Just an annoying rapid beep.

And what seemed like shouting.

Then he was out again.

The third time he came to, he woke up on the shore of the most beautiful beach he had ever seen. The sand was pink and the water was crystal clear. The sun was high and glittering off the water. There were shells scattered about. But not the tiny, broken, malformed shells you usually find. No, these were fully shaped, brightly colored shells, along with sea glass and sea dollars.

He looked around, finding he was the only one there.

“Hello?” He called out.

“Hello.” Answered an angelic voice.

He turned back around towards the water to see a woman walking out of the water onto shore. She was glowing, literally. Her dress was tan and seemed to flow with gold. Her hair was loose down her back, and a tiara sat on her head perfectly. Water droplets glinted off her dark skin.

For the first time in a long time, Tony was rendered absolutely speechless.

The woman smiled at him, stopping a few feet away.

“I have been so excited for this day. To finally meet the great Anthony Edward Stark. The mortal who defied all odds.”

Tony cleared his throat, his brain finally kicking into gear.

“I- I’m sorry. Who are you?”

“I do not have a name. Nor am I a being. I simply am.”

“That… Actually is the furthest thing from an answer.”

The woman chuckled.

“I am everything. I am the universe. But for the sake of making things easier, you may call me Celeste.”

Tony raised an eyebrow, “You’re the universe… Like you control all things and are all things?”

Celeste shrugged, “In a sense. I am here to help you-”

Tony scoffed, taking a step back, “Help me? Help me?? I’ve been suffering my whole life; I lost my parents, was blown up, tortured, ripped open, backstabbed, poisoned, beaten, lost the love of my life, and now you want to help me??” By now Tony was pacing, his heart pounding in his ears.

Celeste sighed, “Please believe that none of that was my doing. There is good and bad in the universe. As you already know. I am in control over the good. My brother is in control over the bad. Since you were born, we both knew you were destined for greatness, but we both wanted your greatness to amount to something different. When you became a hero, he became angry.

But when you destroyed the infinity stones and defeat a monster who was out to destroy half of of our being, he gave in. I can finally give you what you want most.” She spoke with confidence and power. She outstretched her hand and a white light moved from her palm to Tony, manifesting itself into Steve’s Captain America helmet.

“Steve,” Tony whispered.

But it seemed too good to be true.

“There is just one thing I ask in return,”

“Anything,” Tony looked back up at her.

“There is a boy. He is just over a year old. He lost everyone in this war. He needs someone. You and Steven will adopt him. Raise him as your own. This boy is special, and will grow up to change the world.”

Tony deflated, “Are you kidding me? I can’t just, become a parent! I’m not built to be one! Have you seen me lately? My boyfriend commits suicide to save the rest of us and I’m nearly killing myself.”

The woman only nods, “In time, it will come to you. Just like fighting, it is all in your instincts. You are a smart man, Anthony. You have many people by your side. And you would have Steven as well.”

Tony pulls at his hair and squeezes his eyes shut.

Get Steve back, and adopt a baby?

Maybe it wouldn’t be too bad. They’d finally have the little family they’d always joked about.

“Fine. Fine. I’ll do it. Just, please, give me back-“

***

“Steve!” Tony sat straight up clutching at nothing.

“Woah, Tony, calm down.” Bruce gently pushed Tony back against the medical bed.

“But S-Steve he sh-should have-“

“Yeah, he’s in the next room. Cho’s checking him right now.” Tony relaxed and Bruce made himself busy with checking his vitals, asking him basic questions, and checking his reflexes. Finally, he brought up the elephant in the room, “He just… Appeared out of nowhere. I thought you said he was dead?”

Tony stared at the wall, then at the TV which was displaying the news on mute.

At that moment, the name Queens Heart of Children Orphanage came across the screen, making Tony’s heart squeeze in a way he didn’t quite expect.

“Yeah,” he replied, “He was.”

***

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[bbparker]

🎄 Choose Me (Tony Stark x Reader)🎄

[Christmas Special]

Summary: What happens when (y/n)’s husband Tony is called away at Christmas, ruining her surprise for him?

A/N: Lol idk about this one but have fun!

Requested by: @kwj-jojo

Prompt: “A mission? On Christmas? I think the fuck not, the bad guys deserve a good Christmas after all their hard work of fucking shit up…” “(y/n), no…”

Warnings: Mentions of blood, accidents, angst

Words: 2.6k

Song: Pretty Bird by Crooked Still

|| Masterlist ||

The morning sun rose and shone through the blinds, casting a glow onto Tony’s handsome face. (Y/n)’s breath hitched, still in shock that this man was hers. 6 months ago, they’d had gotten married on an impulse. There was no dress and big crowds, just Tony & (y/n) in a small church with Rhodey as their witness and this was their first Christmas together as man and wife.

Sitting up on one elbow (y/n) brushed a stray hair away from his forehead and watched as his lashes fluttered open, exposing brown eyes. “Good morning sweetheart.” Leaning down (y/n) caressed his lips with hers. “Good morning Tony.”

The moment only lasted a couple of seconds before both realised what day it is. “If I didn’t enjoy receiving free stuff so much I would have probably stayed in bed longer.” (y/n) laughs adjusting her dress in the mirror as Tony showers behind her.

“I knew you didn’t only marry me for my looks,” Tony muttered sarcastically. Turning around, ignoring Tony’s nudity, after all, it wasn’t anything she hadn’t seen before, “You know I love you for more than your pretty looks and money?”

Tony’s smile slowly widened as (y/n) leaned in and gave him a quick kiss. “You should probably see somebody about those over confidence issues, Tony.”

“You love it don’t lie!”

Entering the kitchen (y/n) graced everyone with her smile, eager for the festivities, however, seeing the looks of disappointment around the room, (y/n)’s smile dropped. “What’s wrong?”

Nobody seemed to want to answer until Tony stepped into the room. “Man, who’s soul died and is now haunting the room? Cheer up!” Steve made his way over to Tony and whispered something about seeing him alone to which he agreed. Tony turned to you and gave you a kiss on the temple before following Steve’s tall self to a room with clear glass.

(Y/n) watched as Steve’s shoulders remained tensed and slowly as he began explaining the situation, Tony’s did too. Looking around (y/n) saw almost everyone is a dampened mood, the only one willing to make eye contact with her was Vision, who didn’t seem overly concerned.

Turning back towards the two leaders, (y/n) watched as Tony nodded and sighed, both exiting the room. “Everything alright?” she asked, grabbing a hold of Tony’s hand. “(y/n), don’t get mad but, there’s a mission we have to handle immediately.”

“A mission? On Christmas?” (y/n) looked around at her team members, only Clint managed eye contact with her, giving her a sad smile. Of course, he understood more than anyone about being away from their family and the only one who knew her little secret that Tony hadn’t even found out yet. Though she wasn’t one of Avengers, she was like a mother to them all who cleaned injuries, cooked and fed them etc. Disappointing (y/n) was like disappointing their own mother.

Turning to Tony once again, who had his hands in his pockets but didn’t drop his gaze from hers, “I think the fuck not! The bad guys deserve a good Christmas after all their hard work of fucking shit up!”

Tony laughed before a scold from Steve made him rein it in, covering it with a cough. “(y/n), no… We can’t ignore this…”

“I-I know but sometimes it-it’s just not fair. You’re my husband we barely have any time together as it is… I just want you to choose me for once…”

(y/n) walked towards the elevator, pressing the button. The Avengers seemed to be trying to look anywhere but the couple but it was like watching mom and dad fight, or a car accident- you couldn’t look away.

“(y/n) I choose you, always but this is people’s lives on the line.”

Turning from the arriving lift, (y/n) backed into the elevator.

“Funny that Tony, you’re so busy with everyone else’s lives, you’re missing out on your own,” and the doors finally close allowing (y/n) a breath of relief, hand falling to her stomach as her eyes watered. Her surprise for him was now ruined and she blamed Iron Man, the Avenger, the saviour to so many but himself.

Pulling out her phone, (y/n) dialled her mom’s number. “(y/n), honey! Merry Christmas!”

“Merry Christmas mom! I’m coming to yours for lunch it seems!”

Tony’s POV

As the elevator doors closed, Tony released a sigh before turning to see his team staring. “I think you upset mom,” Sam attempted to joke, however, it wasn’t well received as multiple people whacked him across the head or let out exclamations of ‘Sam!’.

“I’m sorry Tony, but we have to go.”

Tony just looked at the ground, shuffling his feet, before holding his head up. “Yeah, Avengers suit up!”

As Tony made his way to the lab where is numerous suits are stored, he can’t help but wonder if he really was making the right decision. The world over their life together, plus what she said back there really struck him. Her voice echoing through his head as he stood before his newest suit.

“Funny that Tony, you’re so busy with everyone else’s lives, you’re missing out on your own.”

What did she mean by that? He’d been there almost all the time, so what did she mean missing out?

“Tony… you okay?” Steve enters the room, placing a light hand on Tony’s shoulder, something he was quick to shrug off. “Yeah, perfectly fine.”

Tony was not fine, as the mission continued he couldn’t get (y/n)’s face out of his head as she glanced down at the floor, elevator doors closing; like their relationship. Finally, it distracted him to the point where a shot from a HYDRA weapon managed hit his arc reactor.  “TONY!” multiple voices chimed, however, as Tony fell from the sky at alarming speeds he couldn’t hear anyone.

As he fell (y/n)’s face came to his mind, if this was going to be it for Tony he wanted to only think about one thing. (Y/n) and the life he could have has with her, hell they’d only been married 6 months! They never got a honeymoon because Tony had been too busy with the Avengers, they hadn’t been able to celebrate either of their birthdays either. Suddenly, Tony felt a sinking feeling that wasn’t from the rapid ground approaching. It was the fact that (y/n) was right.

Something solid greeted Tony as he welcomed darkness, a quiet plea in the form of (y/n)’s name falling from his lips.

“Hey Ma”

“Sweetheart! It’s good to see you, where’s that husband of yours?”

“He’s on a mission…”  Her mum gave her a look of disapproval like (y/n) had anticipated. Her mother had never approved too well of the playboy and she only ever recognised the bad things he does.

“I told-”

“Ma, not now, it’s Christmas…”

Nodding her head, (y/n)’s mom walked ahead into the kitchen where their family was waiting.

When time passed and lunch was eaten (y/n) couldn’t help but shiver as if something was wrong. “You okay (y/n)? It’s not that cold in here is it? I thought I turned the heaters on…” Her dad said running a hand up her now gooseflesh arms. “Yeah dad, I just got this really weird feeling…”

The room went strangely silent as her family looked at her, a phone suddenly interrupting the silence. Despite the once cheery atmosphere, the phone now echoed in a haunting silence. (y/n) picked her phone up to see it was Steve’s private number which he barely ever used. Something was wrong.

“I-I… I have to take this…”

Walking quickly outback, (y/n) shivered again because of the cold. She couldn’t see anything, not the snow nor the concerned family members peeking out the window, too concentrated on his voice.

“Steve?” (y/n) asked softly.

“(Y/n), I’m so sorry- it shouldn’t have happened but none of us could… could get there on time- “

“What are you saying, Steve?”

“(Y/n) … the mission went wrong- “

She stopped listening. When a member of the team said, a mission went wrong, which rarely happened, someone usually ends up gravely injured or… even passed. She cried into the phone, “Steve, where is he?”

“(Y/n), I’m so sorry…”

“STOP SAYING YOU’RE FUCKING SORRY! Tell me where my husband is!” She screamed into the phone, tears falling freely now.

“H-he’s at the compound, Helen Cho and several doctors are trying to- “

(y/n) hung up on him and ran back inside, grabbing her keys to her car and running to her car. Her family called her but she didn’t listen. Putting the car into gear (y/n) went twice the speed limit, no thought to her condition only focussed on getting back to her love.

The last words she yelled at him echoed through her mind.

“I just want you to choose me for once…”

“Funny that Tony, you’re so busy with everyone else’s lives, you’re missing out on your own.”

How could she say such things to him? She knew he loved her, she knew he’s always put her first but what about the other families suffering out there? How could she be so selfish? Seeing the orange light up ahead (y/n) pressed further onto the gas watching as she went past the line only to feel a huge presence beside her. Looking (y/n) got a glimpse of headlights her first thought running to her precious bundle to arrive in five months’ time.

“No...” she whispered as a loud honk filled her ears and all she saw was white.

Stepping on the gas further (y/n) felt the jolt before the truck just nicked the boot of her car. Breathing out rapidly in shock, (y/n) pushed on taking the straight road to the Avengers facility up north.

Arriving, (y/n) turned the car off and ran inside, pushing through the crowd of workers, even knocking people over and to be met with shouts. She, however, had no care. Her husband was severely hurt of dying, she’d be damned if anyone gets in her way. Arriving at the elevator (y/n) almost broke the button pushing it in and the same process occurred inside the elevator; some people even slightly backing away from the slightly crazed looking woman.

When (y/n) arrived at the door, she nearly broke the door down because they opened so slowly but once there had been a space big enough for her to squeeze through she was gone. Running down the multiple halls, (y/n) stopped at end of the hall to the wing specifically reserved for the Avengers.

Stopping (y/n) saw the team gathered in the seats, still in their uniforms and some even bleeding but refusing attention. Nat tilted her head back but stopped halfway as she spotted a dishevelled woman at the end of the hall, mud coating her shoes and the bottom of her jeans.

“(y/n) …” Nat whispered but everyone’s head snapped up to her like she had screamed. Walking forwards slowly, (y/n) felt no more tears as she approached His door, refusing to acknowledge the team.  Clint walked slowly forward and as he tried to rest a hand on her shoulder, (y/n) turned and slapped it away, glaring.

“Don’t touch me, anyone.” Making eye contact with every team member and hearing the calls of multiple people, (y/n) turned to see a window into Tony’s operating room. “Oh, no...” She covered her mouth as sobs racked through her body seeing his blood on the doctor’s hands.

“This… someone tell me this isn’t real, this isn’t happening…”

(Y/n) felt a presence behind her, strong arms wrapping around her waist and bringing her to their chest. At first, she fought, pushing them away but when their hold was unrelenting, (y/n) let go. Sobbing, Steve caught her as she fell, pulling her into him once again.

Burying her head in his chest, she sobbed for Tony, for anybody to tell her this isn’t real. Looking up into Steve’s eyes, she saw tears in his eyes. “S-Steve?”

“Y-yeah?”

“He-he c-can’t die…”

“(Y/n) he won’t, the doctors are- “

“No Steve, he can’t…” A fierce fire had lit within (y/n)’s eyes and in seeing this Steve frowned. She was trying to tell him something that she just wasn’t getting. Slowly, (y/n) took his hand and bought it to her stomach as his eyes widened feeling the bump that wasn’t so obvious in her flowy shirt.

“Oh, my god.” Steve gathered his arms around her and brought her to his chest once again, slightly lifting her up. “He’ll make it (y/n) … he will.”

Make it he did. (y/n) sat next to Tony’s bed with her hand holding one of his casted ones. It had been a week since the accident and every day (y/n) hoped for him to wake up, yet every day his chocolate eyes remained closed.

A soft knock came from the door making (y/n) jump and turn to find Steve waiting with two coffees in his hands. “Hey.”

“Hey.”

As Steve entered, she returned to her position. Setting the drink in front of her, Steve chose the seat behind (y/n) and there they sat for the next four hours. (Y/n) couldn’t bring herself to leave this spot beside her husband. What a betrayal on their vowels they’d made not too long ago. (Y/n) had promised to stay by his side no matter what and when things got a little rough she fled, like a weakling.

Kissing his hand lightly (y/n) closed her eyes. She didn’t deserve Tony, he was willing to risk his life for other people, other expectant mothers like herself and she’d been so selfish to have him to herself. Little she’d realised Tony was an international person who couldn’t belong to one, there was too much to him for one alone.

She couldn’t blame anyone. Not Steve, the Avengers, Iron Man… this was her fault. Was she distracted because of what she’d said to him? It was almost guaranteed to go wrong is someone’s headspace was in the wrong place.  

Hearing a small gasp and quiet talking; (y/n) cursed Steve. “Steve, I love you but please shut up. I am trying to concentrate on not having an emotional breakdown; don’t know if you know but it takes more brain power than I originally thought. Damn, now I’m the one talking too much…”

Silence followed before a light chuckle followed, definitely not belonging to Steve causing (y/n) to look at the smiling face in front of her. “You know, you should probably see somebody about your emotional state…”

(Y/n) couldn’t help it she burst into laughter before happy tears started falling, “You love it, don’t lie.”

So, his smile grew as he observed her face. Beautiful, he thought. “I’m so sorry Tony. I overreacted. I know you would choose me in a heartbeat but I was acting too selfish to see it.”

Tony’s gaze softened as he watched her eyes tear up further, drifting slowly towards the Super Soldier exiting the room before returning to his beautiful wife once again.

“What happened, Tony?”

“Someone got a lucky shot,” Tony said, not wanting to feel her guilt she undoubtedly felt because he’d been distracted by their fight. (Y/n) shook her head before catching a glance of something and smiling back at Tony.

“Also, I wanted to give you some news, I was supposed to tell you on Christmas day but since you’ve been on the mission and… sleeping for a week, I haven’t been able to tell you- “

“Wait, a week?”

“Yes…?”

“I’ve gone to sleep and woken up in the future? Amazing.” (y/n) smacked him lightly laughing along with him before realising he was injured. “Oh, my gosh Tony are you okay? I just hit you and- “

“I’m fine (y/n), now what’s the news. Has my great aunt passed away and left me a great fortune?”

“Tony, you don’t have a great aunt.”

“Has my boyfriend come for me?”

“I can go and get Steve if you’d- “

“What about my sister, not my dear Julianna,”

“JESUS TONY I’M TRYING TO TELL YOU IM PREGNANT!” (y/n) yelled finally.

A silence ran through the room as Tony stared wide-eyed at (y/n). “What did you say?”

“I said… I’m pregnant.”

“Is it mine, wait don’t answer that.” Smacking him again they laughed before Tony’s eyes focussed in on (y/n). The way she laughed, head tilted back sometimes a snort would slip past her.

“But really, how far along are you?” Tony asked smiling happily at his wife. “Nearly five months now.” Tony’s shocked laugh came through as he looked at the roof, eyes glassed over. “Well, how about that…”

“Tony…”

“Yes, sweetheart…” Tony’s eyes seemed to have softened incredibly, yet he also appeared to have aged a couple years due to the stress of a mission and their argument.

“I found out the gender a couple days ago…It’s a boy.” Another shocked laugh left his lips as a joyful face greeted (y/n). “You’re incredible, (y/n).”

“I think you mean we are…”

“I love you, more than anything (y/n) and I also have news for you but you’ll have to lean closer.” Smirking, (y/n) leant closer, “yes?”

“We’re going on that dang Honeymoon as soon as I’m out of here.” A loud laugh escaped (y/n)’s mouth, “whatever you say, Honey.”

Tags:

@kamala-khaan @beautifullybarnes @bxchananbxcky @daffodilparker @dorkychris @shamptain-shmerica @spideyydarling @bucksies @pctemaximoff @numsreads  @true-queen-of-mischief @mistlethor @ugh-supersoldiers @hellomissmabel

@eliza-hamilton-helpless @purelittleblueberry @iamwarrenspeace

@fuck-my-marvel @jahanana @feelmyroarrrr @asexualmarauder @theharrisontomytom @shippingfangurl @ironmanlover24 @come-with-me-and-imagine @alwayshave-faith @savmontreal @somebody-stuff  @sev7en @whatthehellisacastiel 

[nealcassatiel]

2. Allen Ginsberg, Castiel, and Buddhism: Cas in the bardo - an exploration of the Tibetan Buddhist death bardos and Castiel (I)

“Wanna drift off and become a newspaper headline, / what good favourable publicity in the bardo? Allen Ginsberg says, these words’ll get you nowhere / these jokes won’t be funny when everyone leaves the seven exits.” (Allen Ginsberg, Bowel Song)

Introduction

In my previous meta I discussed Cas in relation to Buddhism. In this post I will continue on this theme, looking specifically at Cas’s death state and the Buddhist concept of the bardo. I will be looking almost solely at Tibetan Buddhism which is in the Mahayana school of Buddhism. I have studied Buddhism for four or five years, however the subject is vast and please forgive me if my knowledge isn’t the best. If you have any questions about Tibetan Buddhism please ask them and if I can’t answer them, I’ll try and find out an answer from a teacher at my next visit to the Tibetan Buddhist Centre.

As a side note and personal note to this meta, I had intended to do more research on this as anything relating to theology, religion, or Buddhism is going to take a lot of research and understanding regardless of how much someone has previously studied the subject. My research was shortened and curtailed by the passing of a good friend. I had planned to write this meta about a month ago however the subject of death has been all too real for me since his passing. I apologize if this meta is too short or doesn’t go deeply enough and I will continue to write on this subject. Returning to the Buddhism and my meditations and readings this past week now that I am dealing with my grief better has been healing, and the insistence in meditating and thinking on death within Tibetan Buddhism has been a good thing to confront once more. I have been researching Tibetan Buddhist ideas on death specifically for the majority of the year for academic research, and I find solace that it has helped me in such trying times. To end this side note I would like to remind you all how loved you are and in the great words of great people; always keep fighting.

To recap on why I believe this is important, Cas is linked with Buddhism a fair bit. In The End his room was surrounded by Buddhist iconography, there were Buddhist decorations in his home when he was Emmanuel, and some of his beliefs and spiritual practices link as much to Buddhism as they do Christianity and Judaism.

The Empty and Death

At the end of 13x03 Cas woke up in what the writers are calling ‘The Empty’. It was mentioned by Billie in season 12. We don’t know much about the empty but Billie says this to Sam;

-       ‘There’s one hard and fast rule in this universe: what lives, dies. So the next time you or your brother bite it… well… you’re not going to heaven or hell. One of us and I hope it’s me, we’re gonna make a mistake and toss you out into The Empty. And nothing comes back from that.’

So here we see the Buddhist thoughts on death. In Tibetan Buddhism, a well-known practice is to focus on death and to come to terms that everything which lives must die.

-       ‘From the summit of the highest heavens to the very depths of hell, there is not a single being who can escape death. As the Letter of Consolation says: ‘Have you ever, on earth or in the heavens, / Seen a being born who will not die? / Or heard that such a thing had happened? / Or even suspected that it might?’’ (Patrul Rinpoche, Words of my Perfect Teacher: A Complete Translation of a Classic Introduction to Tibetan Buddhism, trans. Padmakara Translation Group, p. 41)

This is a major concept in Tibetan Buddhism which monks spend years focusing on in order to try to combat their death fear and help their passage out of samsara after death.

-       ‘Meditate only on death, earnestly and from the core of your heart.’ (Patrul Rinpoche, Words of my Perfect Teacher: A Complete Translation of a Classic Introduction to Tibetan Buddhism, trans. Padmakara Translation Group, p. 55.)

Allen Ginsberg, Buddhism, and Death

Allen Ginsberg also had this death fear and tried to focus and accept his death, in fact his last collection of poetry entitled ‘Death & Fame’ focused a lot on him trying to visualize and accept his own death in multi-religious terms, but mainly in Buddhist terms. On his death bed he tried to focus on Buddhism and mantras and his Buddhist teacher was called to sit with him and recite death rituals before his death and after passing. Ginsberg had a Buddhist ceremony as well as one in a church after he had passed away in 1997. I mention this because Cas can be linked very well to Ginsberg (also because my grad dissertation was about Ginsberg, Buddhism, and death – hashtag spon to that basically unread thesis that I poured so much into).

Death, Rebirth, and SPN

Another thing to note is the concept of death and rebirth in Supernatural. The brothers have died a fair few times and come back, but let’s focus on Cas. In Buddhism, one’s rebirth is dependent upon their past life. One’s karma at the end of one’s life ensures the next life. In Cas’s deaths and rebirths he has changed from each one and his past life has influenced his personality after his next resurrection. An interesting thing to understand about karma is that it doesn’t affect you in your current life. Whilst bad actions may cause bad consequences, that is not karma. Karma only has effect on you once you’re dead, so any time someone ends a story about someone getting their comeuppance and says ‘that’s karma for you’, you can correct them and say that is incorrect if ya want.

The Bardos

So, onto the bardos.

The Tibetan Book of the Dead, in brief, is a text which contains mantras to read before one’s passing and once one is dead. It contains many chapters detailing practices and meditations and yogas to do before one’s death in order to help prepare the oneself to escape samsara (the wheel of existence where one is caught in a cycle of birth and death and rebirth).

The first bardo is the chi kha and occurs immediately after death when a profound state of consciousness occurs, called the clear light. If one can recognise this light as their reality, they are thrown out of samsara (the cycle of birth, death, and rebirth).

If one does not recognise this light they are thrown into the second bardo, the bardo of reality called chos nyid bar do. In this bardo they are shown reality in a multi-coloured mandala of forty-two peaceful deities and a mandala of fifty-eight wrathful deities. These appear to the consciousness of the recently deceased in the days following death. If reality is not recognised here then they are placed into the third bardo – the bardo of mundane existence (sri pah bar do). In this third bardo they are rebirthed in one of the six realms of gods, demigods, humans, animals, hungry ghosts, or in hell. The karma (the wrongdoings of the deceased) in their past life will gauge which realm they will be rebirthed into.

Death holds up a mirror of our past life actions.

If recognition of death and the new reality does not occur immediately in the first intermediate state after death, then the deceased moves into the second intermediate state. This second intermediate state is called ‘the pure illusory body’, during which the consciousness achieves clarity even if the deceased doesn’t know they are dead. During this stage, if proper teaching is given, the deceased will no longer be controlled by past actions. ‘Just as, for example, darkness is destroyed by the light of the sun, the controlling force of past actions is destroyed by this ‘inner radiance of the path’ and liberation is attained.’ If liberation is not attained in this state, then the deceased moves onto the third intermediate state during which bewildering apparitions (which are the product of past actions) will emerge. ‘At around this time, the bereaved relatives will be crying and expressing their grief. They will no longer be serving the deceased share of food, they will have removed his or her clothes and stripped down the bed, and so forth. Although the deceased can see them, they cannot see the deceased. Although the deceased can hear them calling out, they cannot hear the departed one calling back so the deceased may turn away in a state of despaired. At this time, three phenomena – sounds, lights and rays of light – will arise, and the deceased may faint with fear, terror, or awe. Thus, during this period, the following Great Introduction to the Intermediate State of Reality should be given. Call the deceased by name and say the following words’.

“O, Child of Buddha Nature, that which is called death has now arrived. You are leaving this world. But in this you are not alone. This happens to everyone. Do not be attached to this life. Do not cling to this life. Even if you remain attached and clinging you do not have the power to stay – you will only continue to roam within the cycles of existence. Therefore, do not be attached and do not cling. Think of the Three Prescious Jewels! O, Child of Buddha Nature, however terrifying the appearances of the intermediate state of reality might be, do not forget the following words. Go forward remembering their meaning. The crucial point is that through them recognition may be attained. Alas, now, as the intermediate state of reality arises before me, renouncing the merest thought of awe, terror or fear, I will recognise all that arises to be awareness manifesting naturally of itself. Knowing such sounds, light, and rays, to be visionary phenomena of the intermediate state. At this moment, having reached this critical point, I must not fear the assembly of Peaceful and Wrathful Deities, which manifest naturally…. O, Child of Buddha Nature, if you do not now recognise these phenomena to be natural manifestations, whatever meditative practices you may have undertaken whilst in the human world, if you have not previously encountered this present instruction, you will fear the light, you will be awed by the sound and you will be terrified by the rays. If you do not now understand this essential point of the teaching, you will not recognise the sounds, the lights and the rays, and you will continue to roam within the cycles of existence. O, Child of Buddha Nature, should you have moved on, (without recognition), after having been unconscious for (up to) three and a half days, you will awaken from unconsciousness and wonder ‘what has happened to me?’ So recognise this to be the intermediate state. At this time the aspects of the cycles of existence are reversed (into their own true nature) and all phenomena are arising as lights and Buddha-bodies.’

Then a bright blue light will arise in the space. One should be drawn to it. There will be a dull white light of the god realms. Do not be drawn to that. It will spin you into the god realm and back into the cycles of samsara. Focus on the blue light. Other coloured lights occur and deities help to guide the deceased to the blue light. A dull blue light emerges which tries to call the deceased back to the human realm. Those with training will be more likely to walk towards the right light and take refuge in the Buddha to relieve themselves of being born back into samsara.

Within the bardos the deceased will be frightened and fearful. We see that Cas looks vulnerable and fearful when he wakes up in the empty.

Some Notes on the bardos and Cas in The Empty

-       Normally people don’t realise they go into the bardo after death as they are normally flung back into samsara. Those who are spiritual or have undergone training will be aware of the bardo after death. (This is important with Cas because he is a spiritual person, and so if we liken The Empty to the bardo, he will fair better in this space because of his spirituality.

-       In some folk, hindu, and folk Buddhist beliefs the last thought of the dying person is important and will help or hinder them in the bardo. (One of Cas’s last thoughts was probably saving Sam, Dean, and Jack, and so in The Empty these thoughts may stick with him all the more clearer (although they are pretty clear already. So his will to get back to Dean et al will be fundamental to his path through this in between place).

-       For those who were spiritual in their lives, in the bardo they will be more likely to meet enlightened beings who will appear to them. (This is interesting because from what we know about the spoilers, another person is there with him. This could be another angel and chuck knows I’m praying for the return of Gabriel, or it could be another version of Cas. In the bardo, the beings/gods who appear to the person do not have to be literal. Many people within Tibetan Buddhism see the gods and spiritual apparitions within the bardo as manifestations of one’s inner self, whether that be the greed or the pride or the love or the kindness).

-       The individual is also presented with a means of ending these encounters by paying attention to images and lights that feel comforting and familiar, and sometimes represent one of the passions that appeal to the person. This is where people's unconsciousness tendencies take control as they are variously attracted to jealously which can bring future lives of fighting and quarreling, pride which leads to another human rebirth, or aggression and violence which can lead to a rebirth in a hell world. Being attracted to these lights and images will cause the spiritual being to disappear and the opportunity to gain insight and enter their spiritual world will be lost. This is one of the important reasons for learning spiritual travel so that encounters with powerful spiritual states of consciousness become familiar and desirable instead objects of fear to be avoided.

-       If the first bardo passes and attempts to access spiritual states were unsuccessful, the next bardo begins. The second bardo or the "bardo of becoming" is a stage in which the desires of the individual are said to carry the largely helpless soul through a great variety of intense emotional states. Good thoughts bring great bliss and pleasure, and hateful or negative thoughts bring great pain and desolation. The soul bounces from thought to thought as a torrent of thoughts and feelings come like a waterfall. Existing thought habits and desires are said to define the experience of the soul during the afterlife in this way. (Again, we see that the bardo is a space for the inner self to manifest around oneself. I think that in SPN, they will use The Empty in a similar way – in that it will be a space where Cas can understand who he is. It will be a mindful, meditative, and self-reflexive space in which he will understand who he is and the life he lead. He will see what is important to him and what he should cling to and what he should leave).

-       The greatest problems of the soul in the second bardo are negative emotions like guilt and fear (which results from a lack of familiarity with the inner worlds), and lack of conscious control over its own experience. Fear is particularly harmful because it fragments the self making concentration on one thing difficult or impossible, and this can lead to confusion and loss of conscious control. (I think Cas will certainly explore these things within The Empty. He has been ridden by guilt for many seasons and I believe that he will feel the weight of his past actions even in death. However I think he will get through these and return to earth having done away with the negative emotions and guilt having worked through them all in the empty).

-       For those fortunate enough to be more conscious in these bardo states, a petition to a god, guru, guide, saint, or intercessor can be made in hopes that the individual will be lifted or guided out of the bardo worlds by one of those entities. But here again, the call must be concentrated and the ability to ignore the surrounding chaos somewhat developed. When such grace is given, it is a form of salvation where the individual is saved from the discomfort and confusion of the "outer darkness" of the bardo by a powerful entity - usually one that individuals formed a bond with in their former life. (Cas’s devotion to jack comes in here. Jack guides him back. This is an interesting discussion of faith here, because Cas has faith in Jack. And whilst some people may be angry at Cas for following Jack and placing faith in him, many people need figures within their lives in whom they place their faith).

-       This ability to choose a good incarnation requires discrimination, and a certain degree of conscious awareness. The new age approach to reincarnation which claims we choose our new incarnation is idealistic and not always true from this vantage point. Many souls whose thoughts in life were tinged with or dominated by negative emotions, or those who have repressed and denied such emotion through lack of awareness or an unwavering commitment to "positive thinking" will likely be desperate to escape the confusion of the second bardo. They are therefore likely to grab on to the first opportunity that presents itself like a swimmer who grasps a log in dangerous rapids in hopes of making it to calmer waters. Choosing the first object (or incarnation) that comes along may not be the wisest choice. (It would be interesting to see a kind of psychedelic/spiritual space in which Cas is drawn towards and away from things which distract him from his internal analysis and reflextion, or that draw him away from a mission to return to earth).

-       The average person is said to spend a period of about forty-five days in the second bardo. However, passionate souls with strong desires or those responsible for evil acts in their most recent life are said to reincarnate almost immediately. In exceptional cases, the individual can stay in the bardo state for longer periods, and be drawn into its currents awaiting rebirth.

-       One factor that helps the soul achieve the freedom of conscious control and spiritual travel during the afterlife is acceptance of death. Those who have not accepted death will resist the process of dying and introduce conflict into the bardo stages. This is why it is important for people to take care of any unfinished business as they near death so they can let go of life completely. (This will be interesting to see if Cas excepts his death. I’m not sure about this as he was in a depressive slump for a long while. But I hope that his want and love for Dean and the guys will make him not accept his new life in The Empty).

Forgiveness & Salvation

In The Tibetan Book of the Dead there are constant opportunities for enlightenment, both in life and in death. In the bardo one is given the chance over and over again to come to the light of the Buddha and come out of samsara. This is a key point in supernatural, that there are constant chances for good, for salvation, for forgiveness, for moving on a dropping the weights of before. Being in the bardo is a spiritual experience that shows you your inner thoughts, fears, and emotions. It is a liminal space which helps one to move on to the next realm or g to the light of the Buddha. Cas will be flung back into the world of samsara into another rebirth – although as he is being reborn as himself we stray further from Buddhism.

Conclusion

But what will be interesting in this upcoming episode is to see how many similarities there are between The Empty and the bardo – whether Cas will encounter a spiritual being, whether he will see his emotions manifest, whether he will be drawn to certain things, whether he will be drawn to good and bad light, whether he will be drawn back to the boys, whether he will accept his death, whether he will be able to look within himself and deal with the guilt and negative emotions he has been troubled by…. Who knows.

[weekendwarriorblog]

WHAT TO WATCH THIS WEEKEND 8/24/18 – The Happytime Murders, A-X-L and More

Over the 17 years I’ve been writing about box office, we always get to the 2ndhalf of August, and I feel the need to mention something called “The Dog Days of Summer.” This year, it’s quite literal with movies like Dog Days, Alpha, next week’s Pick of the Litter (a great doc!) and this week’s A-X-L, which is basically a robot dog movie. If nothing else, the summer will end with a Melissa McCarthy comedy, just like it started with a Melissa McCarthy comedy, and maybe this one will avoid the late August curse… or not.

THE HAPPYTIME MURDERS (STXfilms)

First up is McCarthy’s latest comedy which pairs her with Brian Henson of The Henson Company (of Muppets fame) in the type of raunchy R-rated comedy in which she thrives, but which is fairly new territory for the Hensons. It’s a buddy cop comedy where McCarthy is paired with the world’s first (and apparently worst) puppet policeman as they’re trying to find out who is killing the fabled TV personalities, the Happytime Gang.

While McCarthy is the featured human, the movie also stars Elizabeth Banks, Maya Rudolph and Joel McHale, all of whom have done their fair share of comedies, plus it has an obligatory appearance by MADtv’s Michael McDonald who seems to in every one of McCarthy’s movies. But really, the movie is mostly about the puppet characters who do drugs, have sex and swear a lot.

The Red Band trailer for The Happytime Murders has done fairly well online, so awareness of the movie should be in pretty good shape, but the primary audience for the movie will be the older high school and college-age guys who generally wouldn’t pay much interest to McCarthy or her films.

The two recent Muppets movies released by Disney aren’t great barometers for this film due to its R-rating. Maybe Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg’s Sausage Party from August 2012 might be a better comparison since that similarly twisted animation into a far-dirtier and more adult realm, although that movie’s $34.2 million opening was probably helped by the Sony marketing and how well its done with other films by Rogen/Goldberg. It doesn’t feel like Happytime Murders can open that well.

There’s also still the problem with STX deciding that the 2ndto last week of August is a good time to release a movie like this, and maybe there’s no good week to release it, because it’s so different. Because of this, I don’t expect reviews to be that great either. You can find them herewhenever they go live.

It just doesn’t seem likely that the movie will get enough traction to beat Crazy Rich Asians this weekend, so I’d expect it to end up somewhere in the $12 to 14 million range in second place.

Mini-Review: There’s something to be said about a comedy that barely gets snickers let alone full-on laughs, although you have to give Brian Henson, son of the late, great Jim Henson, credit for finding a fairly clever way into the buddy cop comedy we’ve seen so many times before. Detective Phil Phillips was the first puppet police officer on the force, but when he failed to save his partner Edwards (Melissa McCarthy) while she was being held by a puppet perp, he loses his badge. Going into practice as a private detective, he’s on a case, when he discovers that his actor brother and the cast of the kids’ show “The Happytime Gang” are being systematically murdered. Reteaming with Edwards, Phillips must find the killer who also has framed him for the murders, so that he’s being chased by the FBI (in the guise of Joel McHale, once again playing a jerk).

Where to begin with this movie that tries to put a more adult twist on the Muppets movies, except that it’s generally entertaining, if not particularly memorable or recommendable to everyone. In other words, it’s no Sausage Party.  Henson isn’t the best director in terms of getting the most out of the movie in terms of production value, but fortunately he has human stars like McCarthy, Rashida Jones and Elizabeth Banks who are able to bring more to a relatively flat script. The language and jokes are absolutely filthy, usually involving puppet sex and drugs, but it often feels like it’s constantly going for the lowest-hanging fruit for laugh.

Overall, The Happytime Murdersis an okay movie, although I doubt it will ever be considered a cult hit. I’m just glad more people who look like Kermit the Frog are finally being represented in Hollywood movies. Rating: 6.5/10

A-X-L (Global Road)

(No, that’s not an image from the movie above. Just thought you’d be interested to see what Axl Rose from Guns ‘n’ Roses looks like.)

I’m not sure I have very much to say about this movie, which is essentially a low-budget Transformers with a robot dog that also changes itself into a motorcycle. The movie is from Oliver Daly who previously has done a short, and it stars Thomas Jane, although he appears nowhere in the trailer that I remember. It also stars Ted McGinley and Lou Taylor Pucci, but we’re still not getting to a point where this would be anything more than a VOD release. The star of the film is Alex Neustaedter, who appeared on Colony and lots of other movies I haven’t seen. I just don’t see what the draw of this film is when it’s going up against other stronger family films. Opening in 1,695 theaters, A-X-L will probably end up somewhere in the $3 to 5 million range at the bottom of the top 10. (It certainly seems like Global Road may be facing bankruptcy soon, so this might be the final feature from another distributor that tried its best to make a difference.)

Basically, Crazy Rich Asians should be #1, and we should have a slight shake-up after that as last week’s #3 movie, Mark Wahlberg’s Mile 22, is likely to have a bigger drop-off than the well-received Alpha.

This week’s top 10 should look something like this…

1. Crazy Rich Asians  (New Line) - $17.5 million -30% 2. The Happytime Murders (STXfilms) - $12.4 million N/A 3. The Meg  (Warner Bros.) - $19.5 million -52% 4. Alpha (Sony) - $6.5 million -37% 5. Mile 22  (STXfilms) - $6.2 million -55% 6. Mission: Impossible – Fallout  (Paramount) - $6.0 millon -44% 7. Christopher Robin  (Disney) - $5.4 million -40% 8. BlacKkKlansman  (Focus Features) - $4.8 million -35% 9. A-X-L (Global Road) - $3.3 million N/A 10. Slender Man  (Screen Gems) - $2.1 million -56%

LIMITED RELEASES

There are lots and lots of specialty releases this weekend, bu tI want to give special attention to a thriller called SEARCHING (Screen Gems), which opens in limited release this weekend and will expand nationwide next week over Labor Day. It’s the feature film directorial debut of Aneesh Chaganty, and it stars John Cho (Star Trek) as a father whose daughter has disappeared, and like Unfriended: Dark Web, the entire story is told on a laptop screen, but this one is really good and one of my favorites from Sundance. I hope that people check this one out when it opens because I think it’s an amazing star turn for Cho, who actually has been great in everything he’s done going back to Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle, and it’s interesting to see how Chaganty uses technology to tell this story. (Mark my words, he will be a filmmaker to keep an eye on in the future.)

Another film worth noting is SUPPORT THE GIRLS (Magnolia), the new film from Computer Chess director Andrew Bujalski, this one starring Regina Hall as Lisa Conroy, the manager of a sports bar called Double Whammies, who is trying to balance all of the drama between the mostly female staff and mostly male customers, as things build up to a big boxing match that will only air if they can get the cable fixed. This is another fun film from Bujalski, definitely more modern and even more accessible than some of his previous films. Hall is terrific in the film and there are a lot of fun characters who interact as the film goes on. I was particularly impressed with Haley Lu Richardson (Split) who was almost unrecognizable as the restaurant’s bubbly star server. After premiering at the SXSW Film Festival in March, Bujalski’s latest is opening in a lot of theaters across the country including a number of Alamo Drafthouse theaters, so check out where it will play on the official site.

Another movie that is finally being released almost a year after it debuted at the Toronto International Film Festival (TIFF) is Michael Noer’s remake of PAPILLON (Bleecker Street), based on the books by Parisian safecracker Henri Charrière, as played by Charlie Hunnam, as he’s framed for murder and jailed on Devil’s Island. There, he forms an alliance with counterfeiter, Louis Dega, as played by Rami Malek of Mr. Robot, as the two plot an escape. (And MoviePass users, Bleecker Street has partnered with MoviePass so you can use it to see Papillon all weekend!)

Sam Rockwell and Ben Schwartz star in Hadi Hajaig’s BLUE IGUANA (Screen Media Films)as small-time New York crooks who are hired by a cute London lawyer (Phoebe Fox from Black Mirror) to fly to England and steal a rare jewel that another gangster wants for himself. New York, L.A. and a bunch of other theaters plus On Demand.

Emily Mortimer, Patricia Clarkson and Bill Nighy star in Isabel (Elegy, Learning to Drive) Coixet’s new movie THE BOOKSHOP (Greenwich). Set in 1959 England, Mortimer plays Florence Green, who is opening a book store in a small coastal town, getting the support from a reclusive widower (Nighy) while facing the local grand Dame (Clarkson). After sneaking into a few film festivals (like Berlin), The Bookshop will open in New York at the Landmark 57 (which takes MoviePass!) and Angelika Film Center as well as in L.A., plus it will be in more theaters on August 31.

If you’re into the weirdest anime possible then you’re probably already familiar with Massaki Yuasa from his previous films Mind Game and Lu on the Wall). His latest film THE NIGHT IS SHORT, WALK ON GIRL (GKIDS) might be his weirdest movie yet, and Fathom Events is screening it tonight, plus it will be playing at the Metrograph for a week (or more). It takes place in the course of a night as a mysterious high school girl walks through the streets of Kyoto’s Ponto-Cho party district drinking a LOT while interacting with all sorts of strange (and perverted) men. This one is as crazy and fun as Mind Game.

As far as some of this week’s docs, there’s the self-explanatory John McEnroe: In the Realm of Perfection (Oscilloscope) from director Julien Faraut, opening in L.A. at four theaters including the Royal and Laemmle’s Playhouse. Narrated by Mathieu Amalric, it assembles rare 16mm footage of McEnroe as he competes at the French Open in 1984.

Opening at the IFC Center in New York is Stephen Maing’s Crime + Punishment (IFC Films / Hulu), winner of a Special Jury Prize for “Social Impact,” as the filmmaker spent years with minority cops looking at the web of injustice which is hurting communities of color. Exec-produced by Laura Poitras (CitizenFour), it will open Friday with a preview screening tonight and QnAs with Maing and the NYP12.

The Quad Cinema will premiere Gail Freedman’s Hot to Trot, which won the Audience Award at this year’s NewFest with its look at same sex ballroom dancing. (Freedman and some of the subjects will be on hand on Friday/Saturday at 7:05pm for QnAs.)

What Keeps You Alive (IFC Midnight), the new film from Colin Minihan (It Stains the Sands Red), reunites him with Brittany Allen who plays Jules, one-half of a lesbian couple (with Hannah Emily Anderson, Syfy’s The Purge TV series) celebrating their one-year anniversary at a cabin in the woods. When the latter starts showing a new dark side, Jules must fight for her life. It will open in select theaters (including the IFC Center) as well as On Demand.

Ross Boyask’s aptly-titled revenge thriller I Am Vengeance (Saban Films/Lionsgate) stars former WWE superstar Stu “Wade” Barrett as ex-soldier John Gold who sets off on a mission to discover who murdered his best friend.

Rosemarie DeWitt and Danny McBride star in Jonathan Watson’s Arizona (RLJE Films) with DeWitt playing a single mom and real estate agent trying to keep things together after the 2009 housing crisis, which gets worse when her disgruntled client (McBride) confronts her boss. Also starring Luke Wilson, Kaitlin Olson and David Alan Grier, it will open in select theaters and be available On Demand, on iTunes and then on Amazon Prime Video on August 28.

Let’s get to some retrospective stuff. The Metrograph in New York is kicking off an extensive Larry Clark Retrospective with the director of Kidsappearing in person for QnAs as well as the New York premiere of his latest film Marfa Girl 2(the sequel to Marfa Girl, if you didn’t guess). They will also be screening Sofia Bohdanowicz’s Maison du Bonheur about 77-year-old Julianne Ellam, who has lived in the same home in Montmartre, Paris telling stories and people’s horoscopes, all filmed in 16mm.

The Quad Cinema will probably top that with their all-day Planet of the Apes Marathon on Sunday. 30 bucks to see the original five movies!

IFC Center will be showing a week-long 50thanniversary edition of Roman Polanski’s Rosemary’s Baby and all weekend long, you can all see Ant-Man director Peyton Reed’s 2000 film Bring It On, starring Kirsten Dunst, Eliza Dushku, Gabrielle Union and Jesse Bradford.

(Don’t worry, L.A. peeps. I’m slowly my way to the far coast to share some of the repertory offerings there. Stay tuned!)

Don’t feel like going out? Netflix will premiere the first season of The Innocents (Netflix), Simon Duric and Hania Elkington’s new series starring Sorcha Groundsell and Percelle Ascott as two teenagers who run away to be together… oh, and she’s a shape-shifter, plus it also stars Guy Pearce.

[bunnymcbunnister]

SPN Season 15 Spoiler Sheet, update 10/6

I’m traveling tomorrow, so I’ll post tonight. We have a few more tidbits from ep 7- Christian Kane being in the episode has given us more of a glimpse into shooting. Adam Rose also vague tweeted about shooting on a show with two badass leads. I doubt that really means Supernatural, but if we had Aaron Bass and this “old friend” in one episode my biDean head would explode. Also pics from two, an episode description for three, and Speight back in the director’s chair for 8. I can’t believe that the premier is this week. As a disclaimer, keep in mind that I just report what I see on internet land. Last year, there were some spoilers that were just plain wrong, so expect that again with hopefully some fun surprises! Happy premier week!!

General Info (oldest to newest)

There is likely to be 20 episodes

They are filming the 4th episode 1st, which Jensen is directing

Returning this year are: Rowena, Ketch, Eileen,Amara, Adam, and Kevin

Jared and Jensen know the ending. Jensen struggled with it at first. Misha does not know the ending as of SDCC

Matt Cohen and Richard Speight Jr. will direct

Sam, Dean, and Cas will struggle with the concept of free will and if they ever really had it

The focus will be more on Hell than Heaven

There is hope to wrap up some Wayward Daughters storylines in the back half of the season

They are adding a whole extra day to filming to do the final scene (Implies logistics- lots of returning people?)

Brad Bucker used the word “romance” when asked about Sam and Dean’s arcs. Did not specify who.

Chuck will be more of an absent protagonist in the 1st half of the season (but he in in ep 4)

At the beginning of the season Dean and Cas will still have a rift. They will reconcile “at some point”. Jensen claims as of script 4 they still have friction. This has been repeated several times, from Misha as well. He indicated Dean is still mad at Cas, but Cas doesn’t feel to blame for Mary’s death.

In an interview, Kripe indicated that the series ending would have “peace” for Sam and Dean

Not much new at the TCA’s, but it was said it is “unlikely” Jeffery Dean Morgan will be back since his last appearance was such a good end note. There were some jokes about a Castiel spin off. Hell, I’d watch.

There will be a special tribute ep, not clear if its one of the 20 or additional

Misha will be in 15 out of 20 episodes this season

According to Dabb, Sam and Dean are going to start to lose people who, in past seasons, we would’ve never lost — and lose them in a very real way. Our guys are going to realize there’s a certain finality, and some of the things they’ve relied on to get through the day — people, talents, things like that — they are no longer going to be able to roll out. And that’s going to throw them for a loop (Unfortunately, my guess in Rowena)

Also according to Dabb, Jack is still in the empty and “he’s not coming back in the near future” (this makes no sense. He’s on set for several episodes- interacting with the boys)

Cas’ deal with the Empty may come up later in the season.

Kevin will return.

Season 15 promo: https://youtu.be/V232RpcCdTY

Christan Kane (Leverage/Angel) will star as “Leo” an “old friend” of Deans. He is an old friend of Jensen’s.

General season 15 promo- more of a retrospective: https://youtu.be/_hlkNQL5Ecg

Dabb intimated that Chuck was inherently responsible for killing Mary when asked how the boys would respond to Jack. 

Dabb compared Chuck and John Winchester, claiming that Dean would have to break free of “conditioning.” Also, for Jack “there have been cosmic forces fighting for his attention since he was in the womb — and that will continue. As much as this season is about Sam and Dean finding agency, it’s also about Castiel finding agency, and it’s about Jack finding agency. As always, death is never the end. It’s just part of the journey and that’s certainly true with Jack.” 

Adam Rose, who played Aaron Bass from the golem episode vauge-tweeted about working a show with two badass leads. Could be Supernatural, but I think the timing is off- he indicated he was filming late Friday night?

Episode 15x01

Title: Back and to the Future

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS: Picking up where we left off last season, Sam, Dean and Castiel are left to defend the world after all the souls in hell have been released and are back on Earth and free to kill again.

Written by: Dabb

Director: Showwalter

Filming Dates:  7/30-8/9 (no filming 8/5 for Canadian holiday)

Airdate: Oct 10

Photos: http://www.ksitetv.com/supernatural/supernatural-season-premiere-photos-back-and-to-the-future/196183/

Promo: (for at least ep one and two) ttps://youtu.be/V232RpcCdTY. Also this retrospective: https://youtu.be/_hlkNQL5Ecg

Sneak Peak:

Castiel? Yes Jack ? yes

Guest stars:

Other Spoilers/info:

The first episode will start right where the previous left off

Misha posed with the John Wayne Gacy clown

Jensen posted a series of pics- one clean shaven, one vid of him shaving, and one where he    appeared to be in character with blood and dirt on his face and in Dean plaid, but with his beard… confusing- some time jump theories are developing for ep 4.

Jensen was photoed filming (wearing an FBI jacket)outside with Alex

Misha and Jared filmed outside with a woman and young girl. They were running from the clown guy and a few other zombie looking creatures. CAS WAS NAKED (haha just no trench) and holding a shotgun. It could have been rehearsal and there was no camera in the clip shared by a fan which might explain the coat? Another fan said it was hot and Misha kept taking the coat off, so I’m sure this just a piece of rehearsal footage.

Alex was filming in white sunglasses. Other set photos indicate he had makeup on his eyes making them look burnt out. There is some spec that Jack will come back blind.

Misha posted a pic of the 4 of them in the impala

According to Variety, the boys will escape the zombies in a temp shelter. They are working together, but Cas feel “detached.” Misha seems to indicate that Cas feels unfairly blamed in Mary’s death and is deeply upset about Jack.

Episode 15x02

Title: Raising Hell

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS: SENDING OUT AN SOS – Sam (Jared Padalecki), Dean (Jensen Ackles) and Castiel (Misha Collins) call on Rowena (Guest Star Ruth Connell) to help keep the evil souls at bay and get an unexpected assist from Ketch (Guest Star David Haydn-Jones). Robert Singer directed the episode written by Brad Buckner & Eugenie Ross-Leming (#1503). Original airdate 10/17/2019.

Written by: Buckleming

Director: Singer

Filming Dates:  8/12- 8/21

Airdate: 10/17

Photos: http://www.ksitetv.com/supernatural/supernatural-15-2-photos-raising-hell/196890/

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel? YES Jack ? YES

Guest stars: Ruth Connell, David Haydn-Jones, Rob Benedict, Osric Cho, Emily Swallow (?)

Other Spoilers/info (newest to oldest):

A set was a high school set up to be a shelter.

Chuck, Ketch and Rowena will be in this. Maybe Amara too. Emily Swallow was in town for only a short time, so I imagine it would just be a scene or two

Ghosts/zombies were seen on set. There will be a scene with Rowena attacking them that includes at least Dean and Cas.

There will be one longer scene in a park.

Alex was in sunglasses again - not sure if this is a costume thing or an Alex thing

Ruth posted two vids of Misha claiming that he had filmed several scenes, but had no dialog - over three days so it must be a scripted reason (A spell? Chuck? Is he giving Dean the silent treatment?)

Ruth posted a video with her trailer, but the video showed Alex’s as well, so Jack

Misha posted from set in costume. Minus the coat again, but I’m still blaming the heat…. But he was without in the two Ruthie videos as well… soo……? I don’t know. I still think it’s a heat issue.

Night shoots are scheduled in a warehouse. Hand painted signs indicating quarantine were nearby

Kevin is back

Episode 15x03

Title: The Rupture

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS:  AS IT IS WRITTEN – Sam (Jared Padalecki) and Dean (Jensen Ackles) together with Rowena (guest star Ruth Connell) work tirelessly to keep all of hell from breaking loose. Castiel (Misha Collins) cannot forgive an arrogant betrayal. Charles Beeson directed the episode written by Robert Berens. (#1504). Original Airdate 10/24/2019.

Written by: Berens

Director: Charles Beeson

Filming Dates:  8/22-9/2

Airdate: 10/24

Photos:

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel? yes Jack? yes

Guest stars:  Ruthie Connell

Other Spoilers/info (newest to oldest):

Part of this ep will take place in hell as well as the cemetery where Jack died at the end of last season

Misha mentioned a scene at VanCon with him, Sam, Dean, Rowena, and Jack

Sam Smith was on set, but I would imagine she was visiting as she was in town for VanCon

Episode 15x04 (filmed out of order)

Title: Atomic Monsters

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS:

Written by:

Director: Jensen Ackles

Filming Dates:  7/18-7/29

Airdate: 10/31 ?

Photos:

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel? Probably not  Jack? Probably not

Guest stars:  Rob Benedict

Other Spoilers/info (newest to oldest):

Jensen mentioned  a guest star “fan favorite”  that hasn’t been seen since season 7 that is no longer in the business. Guesses include Becky, who hasn’t acted in a while but isn’t exactly a fan favorite, Meg, who hasn’t acted but she was in season 8, and Balthazar or Frank or Jo or Rufus, but all act frequently. Jensen doesn’t always have the most accurate season memory, so he could be off on the season. Since this seems like a Chuck episode, my guess is Becky but I hope for Meg. SOURCE UNCONFIRMED- I haven’t seen this in a reliable source, so take it with a grain of salt.

There was a beaver mascot on set… it looks like they are filming at a school called Beaverdale

Jensen and Jared filed outside in fed suits

Chuck will be in this one. Jensen directed him first alone with his beard unshaved (so maybe a solo Chuck scene or him interacting with others/not the boys). There are also theories of a time jump in this ep.

This will be a one off, classic monster hunting episode with some ties to ongoing storylines. Sam and Dean will leave the bunker to keep their skills sharp

Jensen directed

Misha will not be in this ep

SD Comic Con was during filming

Episode 15x05

Title: Proverbs 17:3

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS:

Written by: Yockey

Director: Speight

Filming Dates:  9/4-9/13

Airdate: 11/7

Photos:

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel? No  Jack? doubtful

Guest stars:

Other Spoilers/info (newest to oldest):

This will most likely be Yockey’s last episode.

Matt Cohen was around, but I imagine he is following directors to prep for his own debut directing.

Scenes were filmed in the bunker and in a wooded area. A woman could be heard screaming in the outside scene.

Episode 15x06

Title: Golden Time

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS:

Written by: Meredith Glynn

Director: Steve Boyum

Filming Dates:  9/16-9/25

Airdate: 11/14

Photos:

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel? Yes Jack? Not sure

Guest stars:

Other Spoilers/info (newest to oldest):

Misha tweeted from set in costume, so Cas.

Misha also tweeted a pic in blood spatter with two bullet holes in his shirt

Ruth also posted a pic of herself covered in blood

At least Ruth and Jared filmed in Rowena’s apartment

Episode 15x07

Title: Last Call

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS:

Written by: Jeremy Adams

Director: Amyn Kaderali

Filming Dates:  9/26- 10/7

Airdate: Dec 7th is what Christian Kane tweeted…. But that is a Saturday. Dec 5th maybe?

Photos:

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel ? Jack ?

Guest stars: maybe Christian Kane? Maybe?

Other Spoilers/info (newest to oldest):

Misha posted from set in new shoes- very shiny with well tailored pants. (The next day he posted in full Cas costume,so just new shoes?? Another outfit with new shoes?)

Misha and Jensen made a video from set. I feel like if Jared was around he would have been in it since it was about money raised? This was on a Friday, and J2 usually don’t work Fridays. Maybe a Dean Cas scene?

There will be a battle scene in this that Jensen mentioned he was looking forward to and we would enjoy.

After NJ Con, it appeared that Jensen returned to work, Jared and Misha stayed an extra day and then Misha went home. Misha did not return to set that week. 

Jensen and Christian filmed at a bar called Swazey’s. This was the fight scene Jensen was referring to. 

At some point, Sam might be shirtless or we can see part of his chest- Jared had his anti-possession tattoo at the weekend convention

Episode 15x08

Title:

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS:

Written by:

Director: Speight

Filming Dates:  

Airdate:

Photos:

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel ? Jack ?

Guest stars:

Other Spoilers/info (newest to oldest):

[bunnymcbunnister]

SPN Season 15 Spoiler Sheet, update 10/9

There was a LOT of stuff out there from the past couple of days, so I’ll update again. Man, I am really pumped about tomorrow!

General Info (oldest to newest)

There is likely to be 20 episodes

They are filming the 4th episode 1st, which Jensen is directing

Returning this year are: Rowena, Ketch, Eileen,Amara, Adam, and Kevin

Jared and Jensen know the ending. Jensen struggled with it at first. Misha does not know the ending as of SDCC

Matt Cohen and Richard Speight Jr. will direct

Sam, Dean, and Cas will struggle with the concept of free will and if they ever really had it

The focus will be more on Hell than Heaven

There is hope to wrap up some Wayward Daughters storylines in the back half of the season

They are adding a whole extra day to filming to do the final scene (Implies logistics- lots of returning people?)

Brad Bucker used the word “romance” when asked about Sam and Dean’s arcs. Did not specify who. 

Chuck will be more of an absent protagonist in the 1st half of the season (but he in in ep 4)

At the beginning of the season Dean and Cas will still have a rift. They will reconcile “at some point”. Jensen claims as of script 4 they still have friction. This has been repeated several times, from Misha as well. He indicated Dean is still mad at Cas, but Cas doesn’t feel to blame for Mary’s death. 

In an interview, Kripe indicated that the series ending would have “peace” for Sam and Dean

Not much new at the TCA’s, but it was said it is “unlikely” Jeffery Dean Morgan will be back since his last appearance was such a good end note. There were some jokes about a Castiel spin off. Hell, I’d watch. 

There will be a special tribute ep, not clear if its one of the 20 or additional

Misha will be in 15 out of 20 episodes this season

According to Dabb, Sam and Dean are going to start to lose people who, in past seasons, we would’ve never lost — and lose them in a very real way. Our guys are going to realize there’s a certain finality, and some of the things they’ve relied on to get through the day — people, talents, things like that — they are no longer going to be able to roll out. And that’s going to throw them for a loop (Unfortunately, my guess in Rowena)

Also according to Dabb, Jack is still in the empty and “he’s not coming back in the near future” (this makes no sense. He’s on set for several episodes- interacting with the boys)

Cas’ deal with the Empty may come up later in the season. 

Kevin will return.

Season 15 promo: https://youtu.be/V232RpcCdTY

Christan Kane (Leverage/Angel) will star as “Leo” an “old friend” of Deans. 

Dabb intimated that Chuck was inherently responsible for killing Mary when asked how the boys would respond to Jack. 

Adam Rose, who played Aaron Bass from the golem episode vauge-tweeted about working a show with two badass leads. Could be Supernatural, but I think the timing is off- he indicated he was filming late Friday night. 

General season 15 promo- more of a retrospective: https://youtu.be/_hlkNQL5Ecg

Dabb compared Chuck and John Winchester, claiming that Dean would have to break free of “conditioning.” Also, for Jack “there have been cosmic forces fighting for his attention since he was in the womb — and that will continue. As much as this season is about Sam and Dean finding agency, it’s also about Castiel finding agency, and it’s about Jack finding agency. As always, death is never the end. It’s just part of the journey and that’s certainly true with Jack.” 

Per Variety: At the outset of the season, the “Supernatural” foursome of Dean, Sam, Castiel and Jack are split up, but Dabb notes they won’t be for long because “ultimately this is a found family, and they have deep emotional bonds” that make up the most important part of the show.

Sam’s wound from the equalizer gives his powers/an advantage of some kind (per TVGuide)

Jack will be a critical part of the ending of the show

The cage/Adam is looking like it will be coming up for midseason

Shaving People, Punting Things: https://youtu.be/azTwku2uosA

The shaving promo, punting things promo shows glimpses or Lucifer!Sam and MOC!Dean, as well as bearded Dean in tactical equipment. 

Episode 15x01

Title: Back and to the Future 

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS: Picking up where we left off last season, Sam, Dean and Castiel are left to defend the world after all the souls in hell have been released and are back on Earth and free to kill again.

Written by: Dabb

Director: Showwalter

Filming Dates:  7/30-8/9 (no filming 8/5 for Canadian holiday)

Airdate: Oct 10

Photos: http://www.ksitetv.com/supernatural/supernatural-season-premiere-photos-back-and-to-the-future/196183/

Promo: (for at least ep one and two) ttps://youtu.be/V232RpcCdTY

Sneak Peak:

Castiel? Yes Jack ? yes

Guest stars: 

Other Spoilers/info:

The first episode will start right where the previous left off

Misha posed with the John Wayne Gacy clown

Jensen posted a series of pics- one clean shaven, one vid of him shaving, and one where he    appeared to be in character with blood and dirt on his face and in Dean plaid, but with his beard… confusing- some time jump theories are developing for ep 4. 

Jensen was photoed filming (wearing an FBI jacket)outside with Alex

Misha and Jared filmed outside with a woman and young girl. They were running from the clown guy and a few other zombie looking creatures. CAS WAS NAKED (haha just no trench) and holding a shotgun. It could have been rehearsal and there was no camera in the clip shared by a fan which might explain the coat? Another fan said it was hot and Misha kept taking the coat off, so I’m sure this just a piece of rehearsal footage. 

Alex was filming in white sunglasses. Other set photos indicate he had makeup on his eyes making them look burnt out. There is some spec that Jack will come back blind. 

Misha posted a pic of the 4 of them in the impala

According to Variety, the boys will escape the zombies in a temp shelter. They are working together, but Cas feel “detached.” Misha seems to indicate that Cas feels unfairly blamed in Mary’s death and is deeply upset about Jack. 

According to TVGuide, after they fight past the zombies, they end up in a mausoleum. They end up making a “deal with the devil” to get out. This is particularly upsetting to Cas. 

Posing as FBI agents, the boys seal off the town as a gas leak to contain the monsters temporarily. 

Dean’s time in hell is brought up

Sam’s wound might have more meaning

Jack’s body is being used by an entity that will help the boys get out of the zombie situation. 

 Episode 15x02

Title: Raising Hell

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS: SENDING OUT AN SOS – Sam (Jared Padalecki), Dean (Jensen Ackles) and Castiel (Misha Collins) call on Rowena (Guest Star Ruth Connell) to help keep the evil souls at bay and get an unexpected assist from Ketch (Guest Star David Haydn-Jones). Robert Singer directed the episode written by Brad Buckner & Eugenie Ross-Leming (#1503). Original airdate 10/17/2019.

Written by: Buckleming 

Director: Singer

Filming Dates:  8/12- 8/21

Airdate: 10/17

Photos: http://www.ksitetv.com/supernatural/supernatural-15-2-photos-raising-hell/196890/

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel? YES Jack ? YES

Guest stars: Ruth Connell, David Haydn-Jones, Rob Benedict, Osric Cho, Emily Swallow (?)

Other Spoilers/info :

A set was a high school set up to be a shelter. 

Kevin, Chuck, Ketch and Rowena will be in this. Maybe Amara too. Emily Swallow was in town for only a short time, so I imagine it would just be a scene or two

Ghosts/zombies were seen on set. There will be a scene with Rowena attacking them that includes at least Dean and Cas.

There will be one longer scene in a park. 

Alex was in sunglasses again - not sure if this is a costume thing or an Alex thing

Ruth posted two vids of Misha claiming that he had filmed several scenes, but had no dialog - over three days so it must be a scripted reason (A spell? Chuck? Is he giving Dean the silent treatment?) 

Ruth posted a video with her trailer, but the video showed Alex’s as well, so Jack

Misha posted from set in costume. Minus the coat again, but I’m still blaming the heat…. But he was without in the two Ruthie videos as well… soo……? I don’t know. I still think it's a heat issue.

Night shoots are scheduled in a warehouse. Hand painted signs indicating quarantine were nearby

Kevin is back

 Episode 15x03

Title: The Rupture

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS: AS IT IS WRITTEN – Sam (Jared Padalecki) and Dean (Jensen Ackles) together with Rowena (guest star Ruth Connell) work tirelessly to keep all of hell from breaking loose. Castiel (Misha Collins) cannot forgive an arrogant betrayal. Charles Beeson directed the episode written by Robert Berens. (#1504). Original Airdate 10/24/2019. AS IT IS WRITTEN – Sam (Jared Padalecki) and Dean (Jensen Ackles) together with Rowena (guest star Ruth Connell) work tirelessly to keep all of hell from breaking loose. Castiel (Misha Collins) cannot forgive an arrogant betrayal. Charles Beeson directed the episode written by Robert Berens. (#1504). Original Airdate 10/24/2019. 

Written by: Berens 

Director: Charles Beeson

Filming Dates:  8/22-9/2

Airdate: 10/24

Photos: 

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel? yes Jack? yes

Guest stars:  Ruthie Connell

Other Spoilers/info:

Part of this ep will take place in hell as well as the cemetery where Jack died at the end of last season

Misha mentioned a scene at VanCon with him, Sam, Dean, Rowena, and Jack

Sam Smith was on set, but I would imagine she was visiting as she was in town for VanCon

Cas will leave “in a huff” 

 Episode 15x04 (filmed out of order)

Title: Atomic Monsters

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS: 

Written by: Davy Perez

Director: Jensen Ackles

Filming Dates:  7/18-7/29

Airdate: 10/31

Photos: 

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel? Probably not  Jack? Probably not

Guest stars:  Rob Benedict 

Other Spoilers/info:

Jensen directed

Misha will not be in this ep

SD Comic Con was during filming

Jensen mentioned  a guest star “fan favorite”  that hasn’t been seen since season 7 that is no longer in the business. Guesses include Becky, who hasn’t acted in a while but isn't exactly a fan favorite, Meg, who hasn't acted but she was in season 8, and Balthazar or Frank or Jo or Rufus, but all act frequently. Jensen doesn't always have the most accurate season memory, so he could be off on the season. Since this seems like a Chuck episode, my guess is Becky but I hope for Meg. SOURCE UNCONFIRMED- I haven’t seen this in a reliable source, so take it with a grain of salt. UPDATE- sounds like Becky in the Shaving People, Punting things trailer.

There was a beaver mascot on set… it looks like they are filming at a school called Beaverdale

Jensen and Jared filed outside in fed suits

Chuck will be in this one. Jensen directed him first alone with his beard unshaved (so maybe a solo Chuck scene or him interacting with others/not the boys). There are also theories of a time jump in this ep.

This will be a one off, classic monster hunting episode with some ties to ongoing storylines. Sam and Dean will leave the bunker to keep their skills sharp

Dean will be in the bunker in tactical equipment with a BEARD- fighting someone who looks like trenchless Cas. 

  Episode 15x05

Title: Proverbs 17:3

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS: 

Written by: Yockey

Director: Speight

Filming Dates:  9/4-9/13

Airdate: 11/7

Photos: 

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel? No  Jack? doubtful

Guest stars: 

Other Spoilers/info::

This will most likely be Yockey’s last episode.

Matt Cohen was around, but I imagine he is following directors to prep for his own debut directing. 

Scenes were filmed in the bunker and in a wooded area. A woman could be heard screaming in the outside scene. 

 Episode 15x06

Title: Golden Time

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS: 

Written by: Meredith Glynn

Director: Steve Boyum

Filming Dates:  9/16-9/25

Airdate: 11/14?

Photos: 

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel? Yes Jack? Not sure

Guest stars: 

Other Spoilers/info:

Misha tweeted from set in costume, so Cas. 

Misha also tweeted a pic in blood spatter with two bullet holes in his shirt

Ruth also posted a pic of herself covered in blood

At least Ruth and Jared filmed in Rowena’s apartment 

This will be a witch episode- Witches will invade Rowena’s apartment looking for books. They are very powerful. Dean gets thrown into a wall and Sam uses magic to stop them (from TVGuide)

 Episode 15x07

Title: Last Call

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS: 

Written by: Jeremy Adams

Director: Amyn Kaderali

Filming Dates:  9/26- 10/7

Airdate: Dec 7th is what Christian Kane tweeted…. But that is a Saturday. Dec 5th maybe?

Photos: 

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel ? Yes Jack ? 

Guest stars: 

Other Spoilers/info :

Misha posted from set in new shoes- very shiny with well tailored pants. (The next day he posted in full Cas costume, so are the shoes a one off? Another outfit with new shoes?)

Misha and Jensen made a video from set. I feel like if Jared was around he would have been in it since it was about money raised?  Maybe a Dean Cas scene?

There will be a battle scene in this that Jensen mentioned he was looking forward to and we would enjoy. 

After NJ Con, it appeared that Jensen returned to work, Jared and Misha stayed an extra day and then Misha went home.

Jensen and Christian filmed at a bar called Swazey’s. This was the fight scene Jensen was referring to. 

At some point, Sam might be shirtless or we can see part of his chest- Jared had his anti-possession tattoo at the weekend convention.

Per TVGuide, Leo and Dean will have a wild night out in an effort for Dean to recapture his mojo. Dean will become the lead of a band called Dean and the Impalas, which is made up of Supernatural crew. 

Osric Chau popped over to set, but he is filming on Legends of Tomorrow in the same studio. 

 Episode 15x08

Title: Last Call

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS: 

Written by: Buckleming? Source unconfirmed)

Director: Speight

Filming Dates:  10/8- 10/17

Airdate: 

Photos: 

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel ? yes Jack ? 

Guest stars: Jake Abel, Shoshannah Stern

Other Spoilers/info:

Jake Abel posted a script with the caption “hell hath no fury like a brother scorned”

Shoshannah Stern was spotted on set- Eileen!

Sebastian Roche also came by, he is filming on Batgirl (no Balthazar sadly)

 Episode 15x09

Title: 

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS: 

Written by: 

Director: 

Filming Dates:  

Airdate: 

Photos: 

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel ? Jack ? 

Guest stars: 

Other Spoilers/info (newest to oldest):