#The one the kids will torture the most because they care for it the least
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Incredibly huge Pathologic spoiler.
The most gutting line of the Bachelor route must be "I am a human being."
The Bachelor always wanted to be better than human. He wanted to be more, the man who beat death, the man who figured out how to best nature and overcome its laws which all humans are at the mercy of.
Then, when told the truth, that he's a doll, nothing more than the "ugliest, scariest" toy in a children's game, he insists,
I am a human being.
#I started sobbing#Pathologic spoilers#I was destroyed by this game#Just sitting in my room like Who Can I Share This Agony With#And truly the line 'its not so bad to be a doll' is right!#It's just that additional note - the ugliest scariest doll#The one the kids will torture the most because they care for it the least#Hate it enough to give it a purpose and meaning that is inherently contradictory to its being
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Do I have to start saying not that anyone would care in that super duper passive aggressive way to guilt people into caring or what
#dora daily#I’m so tired#the one thing I’ve consistently wanted since I was a kid was to be cared about and seen 😜#yet I can’t even seem to get that ☠️ I honest to god am so tired like every day is another futile attempt to try to engineer what I say#specifically for the purpose of me hoping someone ANYONE would care#how I used to be sick when I was younger because I saw that the kids who would get sick or would get sad would get sm care and love but#I was stupid because I didn’t account for the fact that when I was sick I had to just suck it up or when I was sad I need to stop being such#a crybaby and get over it#what if I say I’ve had enough of just being shamelessly used by others for me to comfort them through their problems#but I always have everything thrown back at my face because somehow when it’s my turn my problems are uncomfortable or awkward#I don’t have energy for a single thing yet I force myself to talk to at least one person and trying to fix my relationship with just#literally talking it shouldn’t be that hard but I feel so worthless that even speech is impossible and makes me feel like I will literally#die. it’s been working kinda but now I just can’t help but feel so sick to my stomach about all this my head hurts really bad and I’m trying#not to cry and trying my hardest to make peace with the fact that in truth nobody will ever like me enough to care at all ever#not my mum not my dad or my siblings and certainly not my friends either#I’m so tired of always begging and pleading for someone to just notice I’m here too#or maybe it’s specific people#it’s so cruel to say all those overly nice things to me and not act on them#why else was I so psychotic about that girl ? obviously because she would shower me with the nicest things I’ve ever heard#but she says that to everyone she’s not consistent with me and we aren’t really friends#ik it wasn’t her intention but it doesn’t change the fact I have wanted to and I’m not even over exaggerating but actually off myself#because this is just proof I’m around to serve people’s dirty work and clean messes when I can’t even stand on my two feet anyways#isn’t it so stupid I’m just talking to myself here and most likely nobody will ever see it meaning this was just useless yet again#and the fact i can’t be free ever nor can i do anything about this to permanently end things because i am a coward and because the worst#part is that even after death I shall be tormented anyways#and let’s say I somehow survive an attempt I will literally be scarred for life and then I’d rlly want to be dead#it’s the way not even death can be a solace for this because there would only be more torture#I can’t leave this religion because leaving won’t change the truth but I’m so tired and worn thin of every single responsibility in my life#even tho I don’t have much the few I do have feel excruciating#life is too much and death is worse so why couldn’t my mum who’s strong willed said no to my dads family and not gotten married period 🧍♀️
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wait r we allowed to send these in for characters u write for? :o
cuz i’m curious abt this one “What freaks them out the most in a relationship?” for jason
Yes, please do!
"What freaks them out most in a relationship?"| Jason Todd
Honestly, I think Jason Todd is afraid to love again, simply because of the way he loves. He tends to love wholeheartedly, without reservation, often to the point of self-destruction.
Remember that this is the man who endured at least six months worth of torture just so he wouldn't betray his father. Not a lot of people are capable of that sort of loyalty.
To add insult to injury, it's very likely that he never got to experience any sort of positive reinforcement when it comes to loving a person.
In my Arkham fanfics, Jason's father was an abusive drunk and his mother was a junkie. While he learned to avoid his father, I'd like to think that he did hold some sort of love for his mother. He tried, in his own way, to take care of her, keep her safe.
He'd put a blanket over her when she was lost in her heroine-dreams, he'd wipe the drool from the side of her mouth, he'd leave stolen food next to her sweat-stained mattress for when she woke up. And all it ever got Jason, I imagine, was an absent-minded sort of affection. Perhaps she'd give him a vague smile, her eyes bloodshot and glassy, as if she wasn’t really seeing him, perhaps she'd ruffle his hair.
And for a long time, he'd think that was love.
Something rare, something small, but something that kept him warm all the same (for East End was a cold place), and he'd sip it like rainwater between his cupped palms, because it was all he'd ever known.
But then he gets adopted, and suddenly his perspective changes.
Love, he realizes, can be patient. It can be his father Bruce, who somehow never got angry at him during those early days, when hope had warmed the inside of his chest like a swallowed star.
Love can be easy, he learns. It can be something as simple as Alfred, waiting up for him after a long rainy night, bringing him towels that were somehow always warm. It can be warm soup on the days that he woke up with a sore throat and a fever burning through his skin (and even to this day, he marvels at the idea that in Wayne Manor, food can come so easily--without stealing, without a fight).
But, he'll also tragically learn (or so he thinks) that love has to be earned.
I've always had this idea (and I stand by it) that Bruce did love his kids, deeply. But because of his own issues, he couldn’t love them in a way that they needed to be loved (and isn’t that true of most parents?).
It is the way Bruce never smiled at him when he was Robin.
It is long nights of training just for a hint of his father’s approval.
It is the constant comparison to another son, one who is faster, smarter, and better in every way.
It is the way he thinks–and becomes terrified–that if he doesn’t earn his place in Wayne Manor, if he doesn’t earn his father’s love, he will be back in that cold place in East End where nothing can ever keep him warm again.
And then Joker happens.
And then Joker happens.
And no matter how strong he tried to be, how silent, no matter how much he tried to endure.
He breaks (clean in two, a crack so wide it will never heal, you can trace the fractured seam of him and find the exact place where his heart was broken).
Even worse, Batman breaks: he leaves Jason for dead (or so he thinks).
And a part of him will always think: is it enough? Was I not enough?
Was it not enough to endure? To stay silent? To keep his father’s secrets?
Had Jason somehow, through some fault in his won, not done enough to earn being loved, being saved?
(Is he always going to be that small child in East End, and all he will ever know of it are vague smiles through bloodshot, glassy eyes? Was this his punishment for hoping for more? He can drink and drink and it will never be enough, the rainwater will always slip through his palms).
And then there’s you.
And at first he thinks it’s easy (as easy as warm soup on days when he’s feeling sick, as easy as a towel after a night in the rain), because you are brave and reckless and you are quite pretty when you smile. And it has been so long since he’s had a friend.
It’s easy because you’re easy to be with: you read into his silences, you calm him down when he falters and you are braver than he gives you credit for (and there are days when he wishes that you are less brave).
It is easy until one day, Jason realizes what’s happening and the first thing he thinks is that he can’t go through this again.
He cannot be that child in East End, who follows his mother for crumbs of her affection like a dog starving for scraps.
He cannot be the boy in the Batcave, practicing over and over just so he’ll finally get to see his father’s smile
He cannot be Robin in Arkham Asylum, with a bullet hole in his chest and a brand burning on his face
And yet, and yet, Jason does not know any other way to love.
He does not know of any other way it does not end in tragedy (and hurt and pain and betrayal).
Oh, he is terrified. He thinks he fears you more than any other living thing in Gotham.
To love you, he thinks, is to give you the chance to destroy him all over again.
And he can’t, he can’t go through that again.
(But oh, there are days Jason thinks you will be worth it.).
#jason todd x reader#red hood x reader#jason todd headcanons#jason todd#red hood#i wrote this in like 30 min cause i overslept and forgot i was doing an ask game#i'll do better for the next questions tomorrow#ask me for characters i write for!
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reassurance
gojo satoru x fem!reader
summary: megumi can't sleep
warnings: reader teases megumi, missing satoru
last part | next part
*
year one.
it’s your first night with the kids alone.
and you’re not nervous—no, not at all. having satoru around is basically like having a toddler who’s learned how to walk and gets into cupboards (just maybe slightly more annoying and less cute), so why would you be worried without him here?
honestly, it’s probably better this way. there’s no one to annoy megumi into hiding in his room all night. no one to use terrible pickup lines and swear that they’re working (they are).
but… you will admit that his presence is a reassurance of its own.
not just because of his power, or his strength, though that’s certainly something to consider. if someone was going to come and steal your children back, now might be a perfect opportunity. you know that they would lurk at your door waiting for a single moment that satoru was gone. and it would probably work, except for the fact that you’d sooner skin yourself with a dull knife from satoru’s kitchen than let that happen.
obviously, satoru wouldn’t need to go to such extremes. one blink from him and any threat would basically evaporate.
but it’s not even that.
satoru has always been that reassurance for you. despite any complaints you have about his attitude and the stupid things he says… it’s a welcome escape from the interminable worries in your mind.
you’d discovered this at sixteen when the two of you were alone on a mission for the first time.
if you were worried, if you got hurt, if you had a single doubt hidden beneath the warmth of your cursed energy or the bravado you’d foolishly flung around at that age—satoru was the complete opposite of all of that.
he would wave off your fears with a raised eyebrow. would laugh off your injuries before dragging you to the infirmary. he would take your doubts—with all of their hidden strength and knowledge—and purify them to a pulp.
you’ve never quite understood it.
where suguru would share your fears with you, assuring that you weren’t alone in the world of morality and fear, satoru would think of absolutely nothing at all.
and make fun of him all you want, but it was a nice break from logic and emotion. you’d admired him at sixteen for being so detached from the world and its curses.
(now, sometimes, it worries you. has he fallen so far from humanity that he can’t feel any of it? is he immune to the tortures of living in a world like yours?)
and you got used to being alone with those thoughts and doubts. you had to, even if you’d missed him desperately for a time that felt much longer than a year.
but you’ve also never had two children in your care, never had to worry about anything but yourself and the consequences of your very minute actions.
now every action feels like a tidal wave you could point in any direction.
if satoru was here, you think, at least you could blame the mistakes on him. comparatively, one of you is much better at being a responsible adult for tsumiki and megumi (hint: not the strongest sorcerer of the modern age).
and with satoru on some egregious mission—to who knows where, directed by only the people who hate him the most—you’re stuck in his house, with the kids, all alone.
it feels much too big in here without satoru’s ego to fill it.
maybe if you’d had a day to prepare you’d be better off. but satoru called you six hours ago with the news—and you know that he did it on purpose—telling you that you should just stay the night. you can even sleep in my bed, he’d drawled to you, just like you’ve always dreamed of.
you could’ve told him to go to hell, you know, if it weren’t for the sweetest little girl and the grumpiest little boy you’d ever met.
and, actually, it hasn’t gone too bad so far.
you made them dinner, which they both ate diligently like if they didn’t finish every bit on their plates you would kick them out—who knows if they liked it with the people-pleasing brats. and then they’d sat on the couch, commenting on some movie you’d never heard of.
and now, at ten o’clock at night, you’re cleaning up the kitchen worrying about the very monsters you’d trained for four years to deal with.
it's absolutely ridiculous, but there's no one here to tell you that.
“what’s wrong with your face?” a voice says, suddenly.
you turn to see megumi in the ridiculous pajamas satoru insisted on getting him—with some type of cat on them for god knows why—standing in the kitchen doorway with his signature frown.
“jeez,” you breathe out, leaning against the counter—pretending like your cursed energy hadn’t surged in your fists the moment you saw him there—and crossing your arms. “don’t scare me like that, kid. did satoru tell you to do that?”
you almost want to laugh at how his frown deepens at the mention of his name.
“sorry,” he murmurs, going to sit on a bar stool, just a bit too short to do it elegantly. “what’s wrong?”
“what? nothings wrong.”
“your face looks weird.”
oh, another thing about tonight. megumi is a lot more forthcoming when satoru isn’t around—you choose not to dwell on the prospects of that. you wonder what he’s like when you’re not around.
“i was just thinking," you say, blandly.
“you have to have a freaky look on your face to think?”
“okay, judgy," you sigh, leaning against the counter across from him, a brow quirked. "what are you doing up? it’s late.”
megumi shrugs. “can't sleep.”
he says it like he’s dealt with the same problems for many years like he’s not six years old and missing a tooth. it would be cute—how old and mature he seems—if it didn’t worry you.
satoru would coo at him, call him an old soul and ruffle his hair until megumi smacked him away.
but you wonder if he’s less an old soul and more of a hurt child.
“are you thinking about the scary movie satoru showed you?” you ask him, frowning. “i heard tsumiki had nightmares about it a couple days ago.”
“no. it wasn’t that scary. tsumiki just doesn’t like monsters.”
“and you do?”
he shrugs again.
you tap your fingers against the countertop. “have you been up this whole time?”
he nods. his movements are short and exact. “why are you still awake?”
“i was cleaning up.”
“gojo usually doesn’t do that until morning."
“what did we discuss at dinner?” you ask, rhetorically, shaking your head. “don’t do anything satoru does.”
megumi nods again, very seriously.
“do you need something? warm milk? my mom used to give me that when i couldn’t sleep.”
the boy frowns. “gross.”
“don’t knock it till you try it,” you tell him, smiling a little. “you were a baby once too.”
he shakes his head and you laugh. you should be scolding him and telling him to go back to sleep, but it's rare when you get a moment alone with the little boy. you're almost savoring it.
“did you try counting sheep?” you ask, teasing him. it's very easy when he looks almost... comfortable.
he rolls his eyes, messing with a wrapper satoru left lying around, but you can tell that he's trying not to smile too. after three months with him, it's almost easy to see the subtle shift in his features.
“when’s gojo going to be back?” he asks, after a moment, looking up at you with dark blue eyes. his voice is quieter, still like a portrait.
you pause, considering. it's a surprising change of subject. honestly, you hadn't even thought that megumi had noticed he was gone. “um… i’m not sure. it could be tomorrow, it could be a couple days from now. it depends on how far he had to go for work.”
“he’s killing curses right?”
the words almost shock you into taking a step back, but you refrain.
you make a mental note to smack satoru the next time you see him.
your mouth opens. then you close it. “what does satoru tell you when i’m not here?”
he scratches his head. “just that we’re privileged and that i can see things other people can’t.”
you narrow your eyes at him.
“and that he’s the best.”
you roll your eyes. “yeah, that sounds like him.”
“is he?”
“hmm?”
“the best?”
you watch his eyes, suddenly wide, weirdly curious. “i guess,” you answer, a little teasing, a little serious. you don't really want to explain this to megumi. you shouldn't have to. “he’d be better if he didn’t brag about it all of the time.”
“so he kills those things a lot?”
“what do you mean?”
“it’s normal for him?” he clarifies, leaning his small arms on the counter to observe you closely.
if you weren't so used to this, you might feel a bit uncomfortable.
“um, yes." you answer, not sure how far to go. "it’s pretty standard for sorcerers.”
“like me, right?”
“yes.”
he nods, his brows still furrowed, thinking harder than a six-year-old should. in your personal opinion, he shouldn't have to worry about anything.
but satoru clearly doesn't share that sentiment.
it's quiet for a moment while megumi thinks about your words. he doesn't seem to be wary of his own powers, or the fact that he's been shoved into this world. but, still, this is a weird topic for him.
it makes you wish again that satoru was here, just so you don't have to explain everything alone. he's much more clear than you are.
after the silence draws on, megumi looks down at the counter with skeptical eyes, your brows raise in surprise. “are you--" you almost smile. "are you worried about him?”
megumi’s head snaps up, his eyes wide. “what?” he snaps, voice harsher than you've heard it directed at you. “no.”
your lip twitches.
“it’s nice without him,” the boy continues. “he always tries to mess up my hair.”
because this is the worst thing that satoru has done to the boy, obviously.
you watch him as he looks away again, a little embarrassed. he shakes his head so his hair hides his face.
“oh, yeah," you respond, a little sarcastic. "why would you miss him?”
why would anybody?
“right.” he pauses. from this close, you can see a pattern of freckles on his pale skin. he looks up again. “are you worried?”
you almost smile. “no, he’s too annoying to get hurt.”
megumi nods immediately.
*
you’re eating breakfast with the kids when he appears at the table, his grin wide, his hair a bit wild.
satoru is sitting with the three of you before you can blink, his arms open wide, his blindfold a bit crooked.
you gasp and both children flinch away at his sudden appearance.
he is quite scary.
“hey, family,” he says to all of you, smoothly. “what’d i miss?”
megumi stands up from the table, taking a step away from the man, and you smack his head.
tsumiki just giggles.
*
next part
#gojo satoru#jjk gojo#gojo x reader#jujutsu gojo#gojo smut#satoru gojo#gojo saturo#jjk satoru#jujutsu kaisen gojo#gojou satoru x reader#satoru x reader#satorugojo#jujutsu satoru#gojo#jujustu kaisen#satoru gojō x reader#satoru gojo x reader#satoru gojo x you#satoru gojo x y/n#gojo x you#gojo x y/n#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru x you#gojo satoru x y/n#jjk fanfic#jjk fluff#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu sorcerer#a typical family
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The babysitters’ club, as the older members of the upside down crew have dubbed themselves, meet at least once a week. Sometimes it’s only a few hours, just long enough to watch a movie together, to confirm that everyone is still alive and coping. Sometimes it’s all night, and Argyle plies them all with good California weed while they attempt to work through their collective truckloads of trauma.
Sometimes, like tonight, they spend it goofing off and having fun like the dumb kids many of them couldn’t afford to be.
They’re gathered in a circle at the Harrington mansion, deserted as always, playing truth or dare. Nancy has just admitted to smoking weed in her freshman year, in the drama room with Barbara Holland, and she has set her know it all, meddling, journalist eyes on Eddie.
“Truth or dare,” she asks, a challenge clear on her face.
Eddie knows that, with most people, picking truth may be seen as the cowardly option. With Nancy, that couldn’t be more wrong. If he picks dare, he will be safe, but he will be mocked relentlessly by every single person in the room.
…
“Truth,” he sighs reluctantly.
“Who-” she pauses dramatically for effect, a theatrical detail that Eddie honestly respects, even if it fills him with dread, “-was your most embarrassing crush! And it has to be a person we know, no celebrities allowed!”
Shit.
He feels his eyes dart to Steve. Nancy smirks. Bitch. He can’t even lie about it then.
Time to face the music, he supposes mournfully.
“I would like to say, for the record, that I was in junior year, ok. And, in retrospect, with the knowledge I have now, it’s not even that bad, but at the time-“
“Spit it out, Munson,” says Robin, the fucking traitor.
“IhadacrushonSteve,” he says, all in one breath.
“What was that, dude, I didn’t catch it?” Argyle says, voice mellow. Eddie honestly doesn’t know if he’s in on this or not, but he glowers all the same.
Face red, he repeats, “I had a crush on Steve.” He resolutely does not look at Steve.
“No you didn’t!” Steve responds, immediately, aghast.
Eddie can feel his heart tearing in two.
“Don’t get your panties in a twist, Harrington, this was years ag-“
“You literally rejected me!”
Fucking what.
He knows he must look ridiculous right now, mouth hanging open, cheeks still red with embarrassment, but he does not have the capacity to care.
“Wh- what do you- huh?” he finally manages.
“When you were in junior year, and I was a sophomore? We were lab partners-“
And ohhh, hadn’t that just been sweet, sweet torture. Pretty, perfect Harrington had had to sit next to him all semester, where Eddie could see his freckles and smell his cologne, but-
“You spent the whole semester making fun of me!”
“What the fuck are you talking about, man?” says Steve, eyebrows furrowed in that way he does that makes Eddie want to kiss his forehead and- Fucking focus, Munson.
“You always used to make passive aggressive comments about my clothes, or my hair, or my books or whatever!”
Steve buries his face in his hands and groans.
“I wasn’t being passive aggressive.”
“You- what the fuck do you mean, you weren’t being passive aggressive! Why else would you have said any of that shit?”
“Because I meant it?”
Because he- what? Eddie played back as many of their interactions from that year as he could remember. I like your jacket, Steve had said when Eddie had started putting patches on his denim vest. Your hair looks nice today, he had said when Eddie had tied it back to beat the heat. Oh, that sounds interesting, when Eddie described the plot of the book he was reading.
“Oh my god, you were flirting with me.”
“No shit! I once told you you had really pretty eyes!“
“I thought you were bullying me!”
“How on Earth could ‘I think you have really pretty eyes’ be bullying?”
“I don’t know! It made more sense than it being flirting!”
“I asked you to go to the drive in with me! That is the most classic first date in the book!”
Holy shit, Steve Harrington had asked him out. Steve Harrington had asked him out and he’d said no. This was the worst day of Eddie’s life.
His face must have looked some kind of way, because Steve just groaned again. He sat there for a second before peeking up from behind his hands, a move that should not have been as cute as it was, what the fuck.
“If I tried again now, would you still think I was bullying you.”
Holy shit did Steve Harrington want to date him? This had to be a trick or a prank or something, right?
Except that he’d thought that in junior year as well, and apparently it had cost him a boyfriend, so.
“No- nope, I would definitely pick up on it, uh huh. Definitely,” he said in a rush. God, he was normally so good with words, fuck.
Steve emerged fully from his hands, face pink but expression determined.
“Eddie Munson, would you like to go to the drive in with me? They’re playing Jaws next saturday and I’d love to watch it with you.”
“Absolutely, Stevie. It’s a date.”
There are groans from the rest of their friends as they rifle through their pockets, each passing money to a very smug looking Nancy.
#steddie#steve harrington#eddie munson#steddie fic#my writing#i dont know the character tagging etiquette on tumblr#should i tag nancy or is that rude
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so all ive been able to think about is gotham for the past several days, and more specifically how gothamite culture has to be SO drastically different and jarring to literally anywhere else in the world. Like even other super cities like metropolis, or central city, or wherever else are at least KINDA normal. Like yea u have superman or wonderwoman or the flash but they dont really have to deal with the same level of bs as Gotham.
That being said here are a list of things that I think are extremely normal to Gotham, and other things that happen in thay horrible little city:
• the episode of Hot Ones with Brucie Wayne where no one thinks he’ll even be able to stand the 2nd or 3rd wing but he eats all of them with no reaction, and Sean Evans (or the in universe equivalent) just sits there like “wow no one has ever had literally no reaction before this is really crazy, and Bruce Wayne of all people?” Afterwards Bruce has second thoughts and realizes that maybe he should have played up his reaction to the spice a bit more. People Inside of Gotham are a little shocked because everytime he eats in public it is the most boring, bland, flavorless food imaginable. (he handled the spice so well because Batman is ready for all potential threats and forms of torture. Ridiculous levels of spice included)
• Gotham schools offer courses in self defense. In some school districts its actually mandatory, thats usually in old gotham or downtown gotham. In more affluent areas, self defense is still taught in schools, but most kids are sent to some ritzy trainer to make sure they can defend themselves.
• No one even blinks when theres a new vigilante by the time Damian comes around. Theres still a little buzz but by the time Duke shows up, people are like “Oh cool another one. HEY BRO WHATS YOUR NAME.” I saw someone post here about how when the Wayne kids get mad at Bruce, they go to Selina and make public appearances as Stray, Catwomans sidekick. I personally believe that Tim was the first one to do it but Dick does it the most, and gothamites didnt even need to get used to Stray showing up sometimes, nor did people really care that Stray was always wildly different heights, shapes, colors, etc. the additude is kinda like “I have taxes and job security to worry about. If a new vigilante is what were doing then so be it.”
• People tend to think that Gothamites aren’t smart, but that city is home to the Richest, smartest, most creative people alive. They mostly just lack morals. Like Dr. Freeze, Harley Quinn, hell even The Riddler are all insanely intelligent. Half of Gothams Villains have at minimum 2 Doctorates in something or other. Gotham generates a lot of cash as a whole, and small businesses thrive there. They have high employment rates, and most citizens have their associates despite everything happening around them. People who have never been to Gotham before expect to have to talk down to the citizens but Gothamites just kinda roll their eyes at them and carry on about their merriment.
• Gothamites CONSTANTLY says “because I’m Batman” when they don’t want to explain themselves. Kids hear it a lot from parents and they also get “If you don’t go to sleep, Condiment Man i gonna come and cover you in stinky relish.” Because truly what else is condiment man good for.
• Gothamites who work at BatBurger and typically work the night shift are used to visits from Batman, Robin, Red Hood, Cat Woman, Harley Quinn, etc. Sometimes they remember the workers and ask about their family, and how life is, and other things like that. Theres some barely 18 y/o who just graduated high school who worls at Bat Burger, and asked Red Hood to help him impress his gf by saying theyre friends. He like fuck it why not and tells the gf that the kid helped him save an old lady’s cat in a tree and now theyre bffs. She totally believes it. Score.
• I see the Gotham thinks Batman is Bruce Wayne’s boyfriend theories and raise you: Its pretty common knowledge that Bruce Wayne is Batman, just no one has the heart to tell him. Also theyre scared he will quit if anyone brings it up. So from this Gothamites created the joke that BW and batman are dating and when asked about it in an interview, dick grayson is like “……yes! My adoptive father is dating the guy who dressed up like a bat every night…!”
��� this cuased and arguement between Bruce and Dick because no! Bruce isnt dating Batman! (stray was seen again that week) HE IS BATMAN! But fuck now the public thinks theyre a couple so now bruce gets asked about it and hes like “haha yes my spooky bat bf is who i love very dearly!” As punishment He makes Dick bring him flowers in the batsuit because “as far as he is concerned, this is his shithead son’s fault.” Thats a direct quote btw. Little does he know this somehow ties back to Tim Drake before they met.
#gotham#in my heart of hearts i believe these things to be true and real and canon#bruce wayne#batman#jason todd#red hood#batburger#brucie wayne#ofc vi writes too#dc#biblically accurate headcanons#believe me#source: trust me bro#tim drake accidentally started the batman and brucie wayne are a thing as a troll thing on reddit in his stalker era and it just kinda stuc#lol
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Part 2 He’s Grumpy, I’m sunshine
Alpha!Logan x omega!reader
Warnings: AOB, age gap (legal), light swearing, grumpy/sunshine, anxiety, mental health issues, intimacy, violence, torture, plus size reader, medication usage for anxiety, depression and sleeping, heat pills, scent blockers
Set at Charles school
Your mutation: fire creation and control
Previous part <-
It was the weekend thankfully, and you have majority of the school to yourself seeing as most kids go home for the weekends. You haven’t been in contact with your parents since the accident, you begged Charles to wipe their memory of ever having you but he said no. You weren’t in the right place mentally when you first got here, you’ve burnt down a total of five rooms before Professor Hank managed to make you a fire proof room. You almost begged to sleep outside so at least then Storm could rain away your fire and Charles could calm your mind. More than once Professor Charles was forced to calm you, other kids were scared of you when they saw you in the middle of the burning room wailing like a Banshee and not the mutant kind. More than once you locked yourself in the training room used for mutants like Havoc, at least that was fireproof. You laid on the cold floor with nothing but the suit Professor Hank made for you, curled up in the corner when your fire would be out of control.
Footsteps make you snap back to reality your spoon burning hot and melting in your hand. You panic rush to the sink ignoring whoever walked in and running it under cold water. You sigh in relief glancing at the table and seeing no damage apart from this half melted spoon.
“You alright kid?” You jump forgetting the other person and apologising before you see him, Logan, the Wolverine.
“Yeah, fine” you say and he nods an unamused look on his face. You get a new spoon quickly and go back to your cereal frowning when he lets out an annoyed grunt and huffs. He picks up a soda and pops it open an unhappy look on his face.
“Are you ok?” You ask the alpha who frowns and looks to you, you gulp thinking you’ve done something wrong.
“They haven’t got beer” he says and now you frown.
“This is a school, filled with underage children? You know that right?” You say and he grumbles finishing his drink quickly and leaving. Well then.
Seems every time you see Logan he’s wearing a frown or a scowl and you swear the alpha is just pissed at the world constantly. You’ve seen him in training, the stern look he wears while barking words, hell the other kids look terrified. You figure he’s just a grumpy old bastard who smelt like heaven on earth for five seconds. You’re thankful for your scent blockers, you don’t know if you could handle that scent in the hallway every second day for the last month. Your position here is weird, not many older students are here that are your age, you sit in on classes, sometimes you help teach classes or help the other teachers with whatever they need, a in the middle man. Students are still weary of you when they approach due to your past time here, but the newer ones don’t seem to mind you.
As of late though you feel extra tired, your muscles hurt and you feel like the school rests on your shoulder. You blame stress and anxiety and whatever else you can think of at night when you’re so tired you can’t sleep. Your nightmares have been worse lately too, flickers of images taunting your usually normal dreams. You don’t wake in flames though, just an overly warm bed and sweat. It’s strange your mutation though you can literally stand within flames and fire doesn’t hurt, you feel the heat of it though and still sweat when not fully engulfed in flames, Jean says it’s because of the medications your taking, you don’t care though, rather be on them and sweat than not be on them and be on fire all the time. You’re walking down the hall when you hear arguing, you frown and glance seeing Jean and Logan in a classroom. His shoulders are tense and Jean looks ready to through him through a wall. You figure you should let them figure it out but something stops you.
“I can be better than him!” Logan growls and you frown, better than who.
“Scott is an amazing man, an amazing partner I don’t need or want you Logan!” Jean says back more calm than Logan. Oh. You hear Logan growl and heavy steps.
“You know we are good together” his voice is lower, hinting seductiveness that makes your stomach clench.
“No we weren’t” Jean says back voice low but dangerous. You scurry off heart pounding feeling like something punched you in the face, of course Logan was interested in someone else Jesus you barely knew the grumpy alpha. Why did it hurt then?
You hurry back to your room heart still racing as your body begins to heat up. You throw your books on the ground gripping your hair as you breathe heavily. Your window fogs and small flames flicker over your skin as you sit in the corner and try to breathe. You were having a panic attack, your ears rang, your stomach churned and flames danced along your arms, your clothes began to burn off leaving the suit underneath as you let out a cry and your body engulfed in flames. You panted loudly, clenched and unclenched your fists, your eyes unfocused and focused, your room spun. You forced your eyes shut a knocking at the door making you cry. You locked the door you’d be safe, well they would be safe from you. You shook your head slowly rocking your body back and forth as your flames crawled towards your carpet and caught it. You cried no tears but sobbed as your bed was next in the flames and the bedside tables, your books and lamp, your phone. The door broke down and panic shot through you as you stared at whoever was stupid enough. You heard your name being shouted but you shook your head hugged your knees.
“GET OUT!” Your flames roared with you as you sobbed. The figure moved through the fire though and you frowned seeing Logan, the grumpy alpha with a determined look on his face.
“Hey, hey! I need you to look at me!” He knelt close the hair in his arms singeing, his clothes next.
“Get out!” You snapped flames flaring as the alpha winced.
“You can’t hurt me” he says and you scoff seeing his skin blister and peel. A new panic sets in, one that has you reeling back your power in a hurry, the flames stop, your body goes back to normal as you stare in horror at the alpha in front of you. You hold his arms tears rolling down your face.
“No, no! You stupid-“ your words stop his skin heals, the blisters and red marks leave leaving untarnished skin. You look to his face seeing the blisters heal and you cup his face.
“What-“ you mutter checking him over besides his charred clothes he’s fine. Your names are called, Professor Charles, Jean and Storm appearing outside the door.
“She’s alright” Logan calls not breaking eye contact as you check him over some more. You grip his arms in slight confusion.
“What?, why did-?” You speak quietly looking at his healed body again. You sniff as you realise you’re touching him.
“I’m sorry” you let his arms go, hands and body shaking as you wipe your tears.
“I’m sorry I-“ you gulp a little looking to the Professor.
“It’s alright” he says smiling softly as you shudder and look back to the alpha in front of you.
It was stupid, fighting with Jean for no reason, he was on edge, like a caged animal craving food. He took it out on a few kitchen cupboards and a fridge before Jean confronted him and then he broke loose. God help him. Jean took it, strong and calm like the alpha she was while he turned into some hot headed dick head alpha you always see in the news. He knew why though, you. He couldn’t stop thinking about you, that sweet scent that attacked every fibre in his body when you first saw him. You went into some kind of shock staring at him, glancing a Jean occasionally trying to get your words to work, he found it cute as your cheeks went red and you silently battled with yourself. He’d smelt you on Jean before, wondering why the hell she smelt like sweet omega before he met you and our scent to face. Too young to be a professor too old to be a student. Walking past you when he left he resisted the urge to press his nose into your hair and breathe deeply. Then your scent went dull, every time he passed you, you were unaffected and he was finding himself more and more annoyed he couldn’t catch your scent. He’d watch you when you were going about your day, how you blended in with everything yet all he say was you like a ray of sunshine. He didn’t know your power, found it too weird to ask one of his fellow teachers or the professor. He’s unsure when you arrived, during the mission he last went on when took a few months more than he wanted. He never saw you in training and wondering what your mutation was, he could smell it in your scent you were a mutant, what it was though he couldn’t tell.
He was fighting with Jean for no reason again, it had been a month and he was restless more than ever. He’d gone to Charles to beg for a mission, but there was nothing to be done no mutant to save and he was always controlling his claws. He heard someone outside this time though and they didn’t go making him frown before a shot went through him and whoever it was went away. He left quickly then, following the dull scent he wish wasn’t so dull, he heard your sobbing felt it almost, felt the heat too and frowned. Something snapped and he needed to be near you, by you, help you with whatever the hell is going on. Your cry spurred him on and he broke down the door. Your room wasn’t what he expected, all the other kids rooms were nicely wooden and furnished with whatever decorations they had yours though, yours was metal, metal floor, wall and ceiling, metal sealed door to what he assumed was the bathroom. A single bed now in flames alone with the bedside tables and their contents. You were panicking, no scent blocker could hide the sour scent that tingled his nose in an unnatural way. He forced through those flames hearing you sob, he needed to be by you now. It was hot, hotter than a normal fire as he approached. He knelt in front of you ignoring your protest, he gritted his teeth in pain at the flames in his skin, charring his clothes, blistering his skin. Something snapped inside you and the flames reeled in and a new panic settled over. He heard the others before you as you cried, shaky hands hovering over his wounds as he stared. You froze though, seeing his wounds healing as he let out a small sigh. Your shaky hands held his hands, checked his wounds, his body, watching his face heal before cupping it in your hand. You were calmer now, still shaken but you weren’t engulfed in fire and neither was he. Your apologies made his heart break in ways he’d forgotten, the tears in your eyes as you kept your hands on him, grounding yourself with him. You realised soon you’d been touching him, cheeks redder than before as you retract, his head tilting slightly. Before your eyes were back on his again. A single word running through his mind. Mine.
Next part ->
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The remaining of you [Natasha]
Summary : Dealing the aftermath of the scene Natasha dreaded to come sooner in her life
Pairing : Natasha Romanoff x Fem ! Reader, Mom ! Natasha x Daughter! Romanoff
Warning : shouting, crying, mention of death, scared little Romanoff, torture, nightmare, I thinks that's
Word count : 2,514
No one has permission to repost my work anywhere, if you see it please let me know.
“What is your problem, Nat?! You can't just drop her off just like that, like she's nothing.” Wanda screamed at the red head, whose head was low, taking a deep breath and placing her hands on the table in the kitchen.
"Wanda, please, not now,” Nat whispered, swallowing the lump on her throat. But Wanda’s not having any of her shits anymore; she's tired of seeing how the little redhead heart broke every time Nat refused to do anything with her.
"No, Natasha, I’m not gonna let you throw her like garbage anymore; enough was enough; that girl is trying to at least have your attention, even for a second, but you always rejected her; you don't even spare her even a glance, and it broke her heart.” Saying Wanda was furious was an understatement. She took the girl under her wings a week when Natasha and Yelena brought her in, seeing how the baby was craving some affection and skin-to-skin contact.
"Wanda, please, it's not that easy.” Natasha was thankful that most of the Avengers are on mission and some run their own errands, leaving her, Wanda, and the 5-year-old girl in the compound.
“What Natasha? It is not easy for you to show a little affection to your daughter. You have 3 years, Natasha, 3 years to pull yourself together, 3 years that she's under my wings to protect, to love, admire, care for, and to be a mother to her. She's just a little girl, Natasha, and she's craving her mother's attention. Why can't you give her that? ”Natasha saw the hurt in her eyes, and she knows that it's not only Wanda's emotion she's showing but also the little girl too.
“I want to, Wanda, ok, I really do, but I can't, ok, I just can't,” Natasha shouted, looking up at Wanda with tears in her eyes.
“I want to cuddle her, kiss her, bond with her, spoil her, sing to her, or tell her story. I want to be Wanda. I really want to be a mother to her, but I just can't…….I-I” Natasha shook her head, wiping her tears that were now falling. She knew how her daughter was hurting; she heard every cry; she knew she always knew.
“Then do it; love her; show her that she matters to you because she will not love you or be there bothering you for your attention forever. Don't take her for granted, Natasha; you have a precious girl who loves you more than life itself; don't waste it.” Wanda stands tall in her spot, getting strong for the kid and not cave in and comforting her; she has to do it for the sake of the little girl who's sleeping upstairs.
“Don't let your insecurities get the best of you again; don't push her away like you did with Y/N; if you really love Y/N, you will take care of that little girl you two made; don't let history repeat itself.” Wanda quickly got cut off by Natasha's sudden outburst, with tears streaming down her face.
“You wanna know the reason why? Huh? That's the reason why I can't look at her; I can't be with her because every time I look at her face, all I can see and think about is Y/N, how she lay in that fucking bed unresponsive, how I didn't protect them, that I let her alone with an open window for my enemies to attack freely, and I blame myself for what happened, because if I could just be brave and don't let these thoughts get the best of me, I should have been there to protect them, or I should be the one laying in my own fucking blood, not her.” Natasha then punched the cabinet beside her, wanting to let the emotions out.
“I can't, Wanda, ok, because that day keeps flashing in my mind when I look at her eyes. She reminded me of how stupid, reckless, and selfish I am. Because of me, her mother got killed, and she got kidnapped right after she was born.” Wanda frowned, looking at Natasha with sympathy, so Natasha shook her head, not wanting her pity.
"Don't, Wanda, please don't look at me like that; I don't need your pity, Wanda.” They quickly got interrupted with the cute little voice in the entrance of the kitchen, making both of them look up in the direction.
“Auntie Wanda? ”The little girl whispered, clutching her big husky dog stuff toy that's a little big and taller than her, looking at her auntie with doe teary eyes, pout lips, and her cheeks and tip of her nose are red until she saw the redhead in the room, making her feel small and want to hide, so she scooted to the side, trying to hide in the small cabinet, only the head peeking out to look at her auntie Wanda.
"Oh, sweetheart, what happened? Why are you hiding there? ”Wanda softly talked, walking to the scared little girl, and sat on her heels to be on the same level as the little girl. She quickly wrapped her arm around her auntie, sniffling, and still had a strong grip on her stuff toy, so Wanda took her in her arm, one hand rubbing her back while she cried and one arm under her bump, and swayed her back and forth to comfort the little girl.
“I-I had a bad dream,” the little girl mumbled, soaking her aunt’s shirt.
“What dream is it? Can you tell Auntie Wanda what a bad dream it is? ”She nodded, looking at her auntie and wiping her tears, then resting her head on her auntie's shoulder while playing with the neckline of Wanda's shirt.
“I-I saw blood and bad guys,” Wanda giving her a reassuring smile to continue.
“And……and they took and I saw this fat old guy; he-he said I-I would stay with him from now on, and-and I saw dead body besides him,” the littleredhead cried again, seeing the woman lifeless, not knowing it's her mother she saw.
“Is it the same old guy and the same woman you saw?”Wanda asked softly, looking at Natasha, who has a defeated look on her face and a mixed emotion. She truly can't read Natasha at the moment.
“Yes, the beautiful woman with Y/H/L Y/H/C and arrow necklace, then the guy has glasses and white hair.” This makes Natasha clench her jaw and fist, knowing who the person her daughter is talking about, and she's afraid that the scene is that night her world will stop.
"Shhh, it's ok, sweetheart. You're here with me. You're safe now. He's not going to take you. It's ok.” Wanda gives Natasha a small smile, then goes up to their room floor to comfort the little girl and put her to sleep, leaving Natasha alone in the kitchen with her thoughts.
Natasha is jealous of Wanda. Yes, she's jealous of how Wanda can naturally take care of her daughter, how she loves Wanda, and how they both bond and do everything together. She's pretty jealous because she wanted a daughter; that's her one dream—a daughter with you.
So Natasha goes to the gym again to get all of her frustration out of her body and mind, to block everything that's bothering her, and maybe, just maybe, it will block the nightmare she has had since your death.
"No, no, please, don't hurt her. You got me, ok, hurt me instead. Just please don't hurt them,” Natasha begs the faceless woman in charge of guarding her. She's strapped down to the chair in the corner of your room where you're peacefully sleeping with your 8-month pregnant belly. You look peaceful and gorgeous.
But all the begging is useless because four women enter the room, and Dreykov is mockingly smiling at her. She hates it so much, but she didn't think of that; her mind and eyes are in your sleeping body.
When the four women approach you and the three women pin you down, it makes you awake in panic. They made sure you didn't move much, and the other one proceeded to slit open your stomach, making two big cuts, one horizontal and one vertical.
This makes you scream in pain, with tears running down your face because of the unbearable pain you are experiencing. You can feel her hands moving through your insides, slicing you open. You tried to break free to save you and your daughter from them, but you are no match for them; they are strong and can kill you in a second.
“NOOOOO!!!! PLEASE STOP IT! Please, please, I’ll do anything. Stop hurting her, stop hurting them.” Natasha screams, trying to break free from the restraints to try and save you both, but all she can do is watch you suffer from the hands of Dreykov, where she also watches how he takes her right after they cut the umbilical cord.
She watched how they just left you laying in your own bed, bleeding and unable to move or breathe. She watched how life drained out of your eyes, how the color of your skin turned pale, but how you looked at her in the eye while you were dying.
“Y/N? No please, no don't leave us please, no no noo please, no don't take my baby away no please.” Natasha keeps screaming, crying, and begging, but it's all no use; your dead in front of her, eyes still open, and your daughter is taken away. She's left there in the chair, feeling every pain.
“Wake up, wake up, Ms. Romanoff,” the little red head shouted, shaking Natasha violently. The other few attempts she made to gently wake her up didn't succeed, so she shook and slapped her to wake up.
“NOOOOOOO! ”Natasha screams, sitting up, beads of sweat rolling down on her face while she's panting, looking around the room until her eyes land on the little redhead who's now on the floor barefoot, head down, and nervous.
She got scared when Natasha suddenly jolted up, thinking that Natasha would hit her or shout at her, so she quickly climbed down, head low and nervous, so she kept taking small steps backward.
This didn't go unnoticed by Natasha, so she took a deep breath, closing her eyes, and Wanda's words kept echoing in her ear: “She will not love you or be there bothering you for your attention forever. Don't take her for granted, Natasha.”
And seeing her own daughter get scared and afraid to be near her is heartbreaking. She knows that sooner or later, her daughter will slip away, so she quickly gets out of bed, going to her daughter, but the little girl quickly backs away when she hears her footsteps.
So Natasha stopped, kneeled down, and carefully reached her arm out with a small smile. This made the redhead look up at the hand and up to her mother's face. Seeing a small smile made her butterfly fly in her stomach, but she was still skeptical; she didn't know Natasha, so she kept staring at her outstretched hand.
“Hey, it's ok, I’m not going to hurt you or scream,” Natasha softly said, making eye contact with her daughter. This brought her to tears, seeing your face on her daughter even though she had Natasha’s fierce red hair, green eyes, and button nose, so she quickly wiped it away for her sake.
“Wh-why are you crying?”Little Redhead asked, stepping forward and reaching out to wipe away the tears that keep running down her face, so Natasha chuckled to cover up the crack in her voice.
“Nothing; I-I’m just happy and sad at the same time,” she said, giving the little redhead a genuine smile. She was happy that she got how caring you are.
“Can I give you a hug? ”She asked innocently, making Natasha admire her, analyzing every detail on her face, and the silence made the little girl a little bit nervous, thinking that she didn't want hugs.
“Auntie Wanda said if I saw someone's sad, I should ask if I could give them a hug, ca-cause Auntie Wanda said it always works because my mommy used to do it before.” This makes Natasha even fall in love deeper with the little girl, so she quickly hugged her daughter tight, but not too tight to hurt her.
The little redhead smile, wrapping her arms around Natasha, resting her head on her shoulder, happy that she gets to hug her momma for the first time, so she’s relishing this moment, afraid that in the morning she will ignore her again.
“Are you feeling better? ”She asked innocently, so Natasha nodded, cradling her to her arm, and sat at the end of the bed.
“Yes, yes, I am.” Natasha sat the little girl on her lap and looked at her face.
“You look so much like your mother.” The little girl blushed, smiling and getting a little shy at the compliment.
“Th-thank you, you look pretty,” Natasha chuckled, tucking her little girl's hair behind her ear.
“You should go back to bed; your auntie Wanda’s not going to be happy when she finds out you stay awake at this time,” Natasha whispers, and the little girl looks down, fidgeting with her own hands, a bad habit she gets from you when you're nervous, scared, or overthinking, so Natasha stops her hands and holds them.
“What's the matter? Has something happened?”The little girl contemplates if she will tell her or not, but she has no other choice cause Wanda got called on an emergency solo mission, leaving her with the redhead, so either she should stay awake all night and wait for Wanda to tell her or she should tell Natasha and have a good sleep.
“I-I had a bad dream again,” she shyly said, still looking at her lap.
“The same one you said earlier? ”The little girl nodded, so Natasha took her chin and made her look at her.
“Hey, it's ok, I’m here…… How about you join me in my bed, and we will sleep next to each other? What do you think??”The little girl eagerly nodded; her eyes went wide, and she had a huge grin on her face. She feels like it's her lucky day, spending the night sleeping next to her mother.
“Will you tell me a story? ”She asked, getting in the middle of the bed, and Natasha got under the cover, leaving space for her daughter and inviting her in so the little girl could quickly snuggle at her.
“Of course," Natasha starts to tell her a story about how she and her mother met, making the little girl listen carefully and getting amazed by the story until she’s sound asleep in Natasha’s arm, making her smile, and seeing the little girl sound asleep makes her heart melt, so she wraps her arm around her and joins her in a slumber sleep.
#natasha romanoff#natasha romanova#natasha x reader#natasha x y/n#black widow#black widow 2021#marvel black widow#natalia alianovna romanova#natasha x you#natalia romanova#mcu marvel avengers#marvel mcu#wanda mcu#mcu#mcu edit#marvel#natasha marvel#wanda marvel
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(steddie | teen | 2.5k | tags: different first meeting, emotional hurt/comfort | summary: What happens when Steve meets Eddie Munson, who has just failed his senior year for the first time, during one of his nightly drives? | @steddielovemonth prompt Love is asking, "do you want a blanket?" by @thefreakandthehair | AO3)
Steve's life was completely turned upside down (theoretically he sees the humor in this, but in practice the trauma trumps the pun) six months and six days ago when he came face-to-face with a honest-to-God inter-dimensional monster and barely survived to not tell the tale thanks to an airtight and frankly scary NDA.
He should be over it by now, right? He shouldn't be waking up screaming, drenched in his own sweat and shaking all over, his heart racing in his chest and his stomach in his throat.
Right.
Well, he's not. He doesn't get over it. The nightmares don't go away. If anything, he feels like they're getting worse, his mind adding horrible details and things that didn't happen, but could have, to keep torturing him.
He's a fucking mess.
Steve Harrington is a mess. His grades are slipping, on their way to joining his social status at rock bottom, and even his performance as co-captain of the swim team and basketball team is suffering from lack of sleep.
The only thing he has going for him is Nancy. Nancy, who doesn't understand that Steve just wants to get over the horror and the paranoia, just wants his life back, just wants to be normal again.
She doesn't say it outright, but he knows she thinks he's selfish, too self-centered to care about anything but himself. Sure, he's made amends with Jonathan and cut ties with Tommy and Carol, but deep down, Nancy doesn't think he's changed all that much. He's not Jonathan, he's not mature and monosyllabic and introspective. Just dumb little Steve, pretty to look at but not much else to offer.
These are the things he ponders during his late-night drives when another nightmare keeps him awake. It's impossible to fall asleep with terror pumping through his veins, so instead he climbs into his car and just drives. Some nights he will drive for hours, music playing softly from one of his tapes, Queen, Springsteen, Tears For Fears, Bon Jovi.
Tonight his drive takes him to the edge of town, right where a dirt road leads to the quarry. Steve has no idea why, but something makes him actually leave the main road and turn onto it. He follows it where it leads into the woods, slowing down on the bumpy road until he sees the dense cluster of trees open up to reveal a glimpse of the starry night sky. The path seems to open up into a clearing, and just there, to the right, Steve spots an old van.
He knows the car, has seen it often enough in the parking lot of Hawkins High to know that it belongs to none other than Eddie Munson, local drug dealer and freak.
At least that's what everyone keeps calling him, and sure, the guy seems a little weird, with his speeches on cafeteria tables, his dramatic antics in and out of class. He certainly doesn't look like most of the other kids, with his ripped jeans (clearly from wear and tear rather than fashion sense), long, unruly curls, and loud shirts advertising bands Steve has never heard of. People also shit on him for his father and for living in a trailer park, but none of that sounds particularly freaky to Steve.
Knowing what he does now, though, it worries him to think of Munson all alone out here where anything could happen to him. He doesn't know Munson, just about him, but Steve couldn't live with himself if he came to school on Monday and found Munson missing. One person has already died because of his carelessness, and no one deserves to suffer the same fate as Nancy's friend Barb.
Parking his car right next to Munson's, Steve climbs out and walks around the car to the trunk to pick up the nail bat that saved his life and the lives of Nancy and Jonathan. Then he makes his way to the opening of the clearing ahead.
Stepping out of the trees, Steve stops to take in the sight before him.
Above him stretches the inky expanse of the night sky, a seemingly endless void painted with a myriad of distant stars. The moonlight danced along the jagged edges of the quarry, revealing the vastness of the rocky landscape below in a silvery glow. The only sound that broke the silence of the night was the occasional soft rustle of leaves. The air was crisp and clean, carrying with it a hint of earthiness from the rocky terrain. In this secluded enclave, far from the lights of the city, the stars were front and center, and Steve felt unbelievably small.
With his shoulders hunched over his ears and his arms slung protectively around his knees, the figure sitting on the edge of the cliff looks even smaller than he feels.
It seems that Munson didn't even hear his car approaching, and that makes Steve's hair stand on end because it means that anyone, anything could have snuck up on him. It's not safe.
Steve approaches cautiously, trying his best not to startle the other boy and cause him to fall to his certain death.
"Munson?" He asks softly, quietly, but to no avail. It still causes Munson to flail in surprise, and only Steve's quick reflexes keep him from falling over the edge. With his knees still smarting from the sudden drop to the ground, Steve has his arm wrapped around the other boy, and both of them are panting from the shock.
"Fuck, man, are you trying to kill me?" Munson's voice quavers too much to be truly biting.
Steve carefully loosens his grip on Munson and leans back to sit on his haunches. Running a slightly trembling hand through his hair, he can't help but bite back. "If you paid more attention to what was going on around you, you would have heard me coming. I wasn't really trying to be subtle. It's like you want to get killed."
Munson scoots away from the edge of the cliff and climbs to his feet to look down at Steve and the nail bat he dropped when he made a grab for the other boy. He raises a judgmental eyebrow, causing Steve's defenses to go up in an instant.
They look at each other, brown meeting hazel, until Munson breaks the silence. "By someone walking around with a nail-studded bat, you mean?"
"I wasn't going to hit you with it!" And crap, abort Harrington, abort.
Now both eyebrows look at him questioningly. "And who, pray tell, pissed off King Steve enough to deserve this kind of treatment?"
"No one! For God's sake, I thought you might be in danger and wanted to be prepared in case you were." Then he adds, "After what happened to Will Byers and Barbara Holland, you'd think people in this town would be more careful instead of hanging out in the woods in the middle of the night."
Ed-No, Munson's eyes soften at his explanation. "Shit, sorry man. You're right, I guess." Shuffling his feet, he offers his own explanation for his harsh reaction. "Just had a shitty day, I guess. I shouldn't have bitten your head off for trying to look out for me. Although I never thought King Steve would ride in on his white horse to save the school freak from unimaginable evil."
"White horse? What, like a knight? Does that make you the damsel in distress, Munson?"
Munson gets a strange look on his face at Steve's words, and before he knows what's happening, the guy pretends to faint right into his arms. He catches him just before he hits the ground and feels how cold the boy's body is in his thin t-shirt. "My savior," Munson croons, and Steve rolls his eyes at his antics. Still not a freak, but definitely weird.
Instead of dignifying this with an answer, Steve says, "You're freezing, man. What are you doing out here in the middle of the night anyway?"
Dark brown eyes search his, and Steve thinks he's never seen such expressive eyes. He can read a myriad of emotions in them and he doesn't even know the guy. Sadness, caution, defeat, and something he's seen in the mirror a lot in the last few months: fear.
"I bet you have better things to do than listen to my sad little problems. Can't imagine you're just running around town rescuing damsels in distress now, I'm sure you have places to be, a kingdom to rule..."
"Could you just drop the whole 'King Steve' crap, man? I'm not him. Not anymore. Even if nobody seems to have gotten the memo."
"Okay, woah, sorry, man. I didn't know this was such a touchy subject."
"Do you want me to call you a freak and make assumptions about you based solely on high school gossip?"
"I don't know, don't you?"
"I'm trying not to. You don't have to tell me what's going on if you don't want to. I'm just saying... I know what it's like when you can't stand lying in your bed staring at the ceiling any longer. Wanting to get out and leave whatever it is that's bothering you behind, but no matter how fast you drive, it keeps catching up with you."
He's rambling, he knows he is, he didn't plan on unburdening his heart to Eddie Munson of all people, but here they are.
"I failed senior year." Eddie finally admits in a small voice, not meeting Steve's eyes.
"Oh."
"Yeah."
"Fuck, man. That sucks. Can you repeat it?"
"Sure. But I... God, everyone was right all along. I'm a failure, a fuckup. Just like my dad. A good-for-nothing waste of space. I haven't even told Wayne, I can't stand the look in his eyes when I tell him". There are tears in Eddie's eyes and Steve's heart breaks for him.
"Fuck!" Eddie shouts across the quarry and a flock of birds takes flight somewhere in the nearby woods. He's shaking again, and this time it's not from the adrenaline. Steve can't really take away any of the things that are weighing on Eddie, but he can offer him something else.
"Do you want a blanket?"
Eddie's doe eyes blink at him slowly, as if he's not sure he heard him right.
"You're only wearing a T-shirt, you must be cold." Eddie doesn't deny it. "Let me get you a blanket, then."
Another slow blink, and then, "If you're...sure?"
Steve gives him a smile that he hopes is warm and reassuring. "I'm sure." He walks over to his BMW and takes the nail bat with him, exchanging it for the blanket that he keeps in the trunk of his car at all times. Tommy H. calls it the "baby maker blanket," which is so typical of Tommy that Steve wonders why he was hanging out with him at all. Maybe because he was a friend to Steve when no one else would be.
But maybe he won't tell Eddie about the blanket's history. Anyway, it's freshly washed and smells only of his detergent.
Handing it to the boy, Steve says, "There you go," before turning to walk back to his car.
"Where are you going?"
When Steve turns back, Eddie is sitting on the ground with the blanket around his shoulder, one end held open as if inviting Steve to join him.
"Back home?" It's not supposed to sound like a question, but some of his reluctance to leave seeps into it anyway. He doesn't want to go home to his empty house and bed, afraid to close his eyes in case the nightmares come back.
"Look, you don't have to, of course, but if you want, you can stay and tell me what brought you here in the middle of the night. Or not. We could just sit here in silence, totally fine with me."
Steve snorts, because even though this is the first time he's had a conversation with Eddie, he can already tell that silence doesn't come easy to him.
"If you're sure," he repeats Eddie's words back to him as he makes his way over to him.
"I'm sure," Eddie says firmly, wrapping the blanket around Steve as soon as he sits down next to him.
Many things surprised Steve that night, but most of all how comfortable the silence between him and Eddie had felt as they watched the stars until they gave way to the rising sun.
They never talked about that night again, the polite nods in the halls all the acknowledgment they allowed for what had happened.
But when Steve walks across the stage to receive his diploma in 1985, he notices Eddie's absence and his heart aches for him. He had been looking forward to seeing Eddie walk across the stage next to him, to give him a smile, a wink. Maybe even ask him out for a celebratory beer, if he's being completely honest with himself.
The sad truth is: Steve had no one to spend his graduation with, no girlfriend, no friends, just a 13-year-old know-it-all whose bedtime didn't really allow for any kind of grown-up celebration. Eddie was his only hope of not being alone tonight.
That's probably why he's heading out to the quarry again that night, bat and blanket in tow.
It's a shot in the dark, and at the same time it's not. Because there Eddie is, sitting on the edge again, small and defeated, and just as alone as Steve. Without a word, Steve joins him on the ground and wraps the blanket around them both.
"I'm sorry."
Eddie's warm weight settles against him. "Me too." Silence falls between them, and Steve thinks that's all they'll say, but then Eddie nudges his shoulder with his own and says, "I'm sorry, too. About Wheeler."
"Me too."
Steve thinks that even if he's not a poet, there's something symbolic in the way they both watch the sun rise again over the quarry.
The next time he wrapped the blanket around Eddie, it was again in the middle of the night. Only this time, Eddie is unconscious in the back of his car while Steve races to the hospital, praying to any God who will listen that this will not be the last time.
It isn't. Not by a long shot. Getting the blood out is not easy, but with Joyce's help he manages. The blanket is there when physical therapy is especially grueling, when they both sit on the porch of Eddie's new trailer, Steve holding Eddie under the blanket's protective cover.
It's there when Steve moves in with the Munsons and gets a special place on Eddie's bed, though they never make love on it. The blood was hard enough to get out, and the material doesn't look like it can take much more deep cleaning.
They take it with them when they move to their apartment in Chicago, and it's there for every bad day either of them has.
Their blanket finds its final purpose, however, with the arrival of their daughter, April. From the day their little bundle of joy moves in with them, she sleeps wrapped in the foundation of Steve and Eddie's love.
Steve may not be a poet, that's Eddie's job, but he appreciates the symbolism all the same.
#steddie#steddie fanfiction#stranger things fanfiction#steve harrington#eddie munson#steddielovemonth#day 25#love is asking “do you want a blanket?”#my writing
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Brandi and Bruce’s S/o looking after the bakers dozen on their own, what shenanigans occur?
Anon this is?? Literally so cute what the hell??? Also referring to them as the "bakers dozen" is so genuis sfhjjfdadfggh—
Reader & the Bakers Dozen: babysitting solo
Includes: GN! Reader, mentions of polyamory, mentions of Vacay Lovers, slightly Parental! Reader, the Bakers Dozen
CW: Bruce Jr.
🍪 POV: your partners go off to some fancy convention to promote their business, leaving you to watch after all 13 of their kids. Chaos ensues
🍪 These little shits are already a lot to handle, so when you suddenly find yourself being the only adult in the house responsible for them? Yeah, babes, you've definitely got your hands full
🍪 Luckily, you've spent enught time at the Vacay Lovers household that things are at least a little easier for you lol
🍪 They definitely behave much better for you compared to other babysitters. Partly because you're smoochin their parents (and don't wanna get in trouble), and partly because they genuinely like you :3
🍪 But they're still little shits thru and thru, don't forget that
🍪 If they happen to have school? Chances are Bruce and Brandi already took care of their lunches and stuff before they left, so it'll be up to you to pick them up (WARNING: THE KIDS WILL TRY TO CONVINCE YOU TO GO ORDER AT THE NEAREST FAST FOOD PLACE! Unless you've got money for 13 happy meals, prepare to hit em with a firm refusal). Definitely helps if you blast some music in the van! They've kinda lost interest in Velvet & Veneer after learning the two literally tortured their dad and uncles...
🍪 Play Brozone. They'll go crazy and shout-sing along with Bruce's parts lol
🍪 Later in the day you can expect a few to come up to you for homework help. They might also wanna help with dinner, but fyi there WILL be a mess. Pasta sauce on the floor, flour all over the counters, stains on your clothes— the whole shebang
🍪 Want the least amount of casualties? Just let them set the table (no worries, all the plates and stuff are made of plastic ajdjakkala)
🍪 A few of them have some dietary restrictions tho so keep that in mind!! Luckily, you can always find a list of reminders/examples up on the fridge courtesy of lovely muppet wife Brandi <33
🍪 If the kids don't have school that day, then be prepared. You're gonna have very little time to yourself ://
🍪 Like they've each got their own interests and hobbies to keep them occupied, but sometimes they'll need you to reach somewhere up high, or for you to play tiebreaker/settle an argument, or they honestly just want you to join them for a game of hide and seek which???
🍪 "Aw, you sure you guys don't mind me joining in?"
"Yeah! Just cuz you're old doesn't mean you can't have fun, too!"
"...Gee, thanks :D"
🍪 They're merciless
🍪 They've all got their own set of chores they need to do. Each and everyone will try to worm their way out of them. All of them. Everytime
🍪 Sure, they can be a little hyper sometimes, but they're like 6-8 years old so that's expected. For the most part, they're all pretty chill
🍪 It's Bruce Jr. who you've gotta watch out for
🍪 He is a shit- stirer and I WILL FOREVER STAND BY THAT
🍪 This guy won't hesitate to rally his siblings into whatever plan he's been cookin in that feral little head of his. Prepare yourself because you're MOST DEFINITELY getting pranked. It's like a requirement or something
🍪 One nice thing i have to say about Bruce Jr. is that he's actually pretty resourceful. Like this little dude is using everyday household items like he's staring in his own Home Alone movie AKSJSJAKA—
🍪 Rest assured, tho, none of his pranks are seriously harmful or anything but like... at the end of the day, expect:
1) to be covered in craft supplies
2) your clothes/skin/hair a mess
3) to have one limb stuck in a bucket
4) all of the above
🍪 Honestly I feel like Bruce and Brandi would be surprised if they came back and DIDN'T find you sporting paint-stained clothes or with glitter in your hair. Maybe a few stickers slapped on your forehead??
🍪 The trick to dealing with this little agent of chaos is to either keep him separated from his siblings long enough so he doesn't manage to rope anyone into his schemes, or strike some kinda deal with him. Considering he's got 12 siblings, all of whom you need to be watching over at the same time, chances are the second option is your safest bet
🍪 Chances are he'll ask for something semi-illegal, or at the very least something that DEFINITELY requires adult supervision
🍪 DO NOT LET THIS BOY TALK YOU INTO BUYING ANYTHING RELATED TO FIRE. Seems like an easy task, I know. Unfortunately this little shit enherited his dad's charm so watch out o_o
🍪 He'll settle for a happy meal tho. Hopefully you didn't already cave and take him and his siblings out to eat earlier, otherwise you're spending even more money ajsjakkala
🍪 If any errands need to be run during your time there, you BETTER BELIEVE they're all coming with. You'll need to be incredibly vigilant during this time cuz these kids are even more rowdy in public than they are at home. If you're smart about it, you can turn the whole thing into a game! If everyone manages to grab everything off the grocery list in a certain amount of time or if they're able to find the best quality (but relatively cheap) brand of laundry detergent, then you'll buy each of them candy or something uwu
🍪 You can count on them to be cooperative, but like... bring the family child leash just in case
🍪 Cough cough (Bruce Jr.) cough cough
🍪 MOVIES BEFORE BED! It's a bit of a family tradition in the Vacay Lovers household. Yknow, just some way for the kids to spend time together before the day ends
🍪 You're most definitely gonna be playing tiebreaker when the time comes. All 13 of them have wildly different tastes
🍪 Absolutely no scary movies tho. They'll try to argue that theyre able to handle it, but at the end of the night expect to find yourself under a pile of frightened children who've ctawled into bed with you
🍪 Their collective nightly routine is literally?? So chaotic??? Like all of them are simultaneously trying to squeeze into the same bathroom just to brush their teeth... running in and out of their respective rooms... trying to sneak some extra dessert before bed
🍪 Literally never a quite moment in this household jshskakakam
🍪 You might have to read a few bedtime stories or sing a lullaby—
"Dad does it better"
"Just go to bed, Benji"
—but once they've settled in under the covers? Out like a light. They are unconscious the moment their heads hit their pillows
🍪 You'll probably have a mess (or two... or three) to clean up afterwards, but once they're taken care of? Dishes washed? Counters clean? You're more than welcome to crash on Bruce and Brandi's bed <33
🍪 Said couple returns home the next morning...
🍪 Just to find their kids drawing on your face with marker. Cross your fingers that none of its permanent 💀💀
Hope this was good! I know I call them all little shits BUT I MEAN IT AFFECTIONATELY OKAY AJSJAKA
Ngl I feel like this could have been like... more colorful? Like I was very general about the kids and their behavior as a whole, but now I'm super tempted to make a post describing each of them and all their little quirks! Just something fun to do that'll help me write them better in the future ;3
#anon i hope you know im using Bakers Dozen as an official term from now on#big brain move#love that for you <33#i shall continue to slander bruce jr. till the grave#trolls#trolls band together#bruce trolls#brandi trolls#Vacay Lovers#Bakers Dozen#trolls x reader#brozone x reader#spruce trolls#x reader#headcanon#ask
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🌈 Sunshine & Rainbows 🌈
Pairing: Dave York x f!reader Equalizer 2 AU: What if Dave survives the fall from the watchtower?
WC: 10.1k (whoopsies) Rated: Explicit, minors do not interact
Content/Warnings: Dave is divorced from Carol (no kids), reference to previous smut, Dave gets a few nicknames, reader is also an assassin but sassy, reader has a nickname and hair that can be pulled, mention of traumatic injuries to Dave, medical jargon, discussion of physical therapy, stalking/murder/torture not described, please remember I had to google “How to preserve an eyeball” for this fic, is murder a love language?, arson, treadmill hate, use of daddy just once, no y/n
A/N: My first Dave fic and my first fic challenge! I got ‘amnesia’ to pair with Dave for @burntheedges's Roll-A-Trope Challenge! I had so much fun trying to wrap my head around Dave as someone who leans towards fluff and feels, so I hope you enjoy my take on our favorite murder daddy. Thank you to @bloviating-vy for being the best beta-reader and encouraging me to write fics in the first place. Dividers by @saradika-graphics. Roll a Trope Masterlist
It’s the pain that wakes him. Every part of his body screams. The tight stretch of skin, itchy and hot. Bruises to the bone. Bones shattered. The sun shines too bright despite the curtains. The increasing beep of the monitor is too loud. How is it possible to hurt like this?
He hears the shuffle of footsteps and the murmur of voices just above the screaming of his body before a shadowy figure appears. He can sense them to his left, but not see them. Is this how he dies? Drowsiness steamrolls him and he slips back to a blissful drug-induced unconsciousness.
It’s been 48 and a half hours and no check-in from Dave. You stare at the burner phone, willing it to beep or ring. Anything. But there is no text. No call. Just the flick and snap as you flip the phone open and close.
Dave has never, ever missed a check-in. Has he come close to the 48-hour deadline after an op? Sure. But never late. And never this late.
You’re not exactly in panic mode yet because it’s Dave, one of the most ruthless and effective killers you know. But you can’t help the anxiety starting to build in your belly and another feeling you can’t quite pin down. It’s not like you love him. But god isn’t he a good fuck, perfect for blowing off steam between covert ops.
And he understands what you do. He understands you and you understand him. Plus, he was the only one who ever almost got a jump on you when a client hired both of you without telling one about the other. That was almost a clusterfuck that ended up being the best fuck of your life.
The burner phone stares back at you, silent. Fuck it. Now it’s time for you to do what you do best. Find people. Find Dave.
The doctor keeps calling him John — as in John Doe. While he can’t for the life of him recall his name, he knows definitively, John is not his fucking name. He’s also tired of talking. He doesn’t have any answers, just more questions piling on top of the questions the doc, a psychiatrist, keeps lobbing at him. Everything still hurts, a dull, perpetual throb throughout his brain and body punctuated by acute pain if he happens to breathe wrong.
He’s in a different building since the last time he awoke in crippling pain. This place seems like a public-run long-term health care facility out in the boonies instead of the large hospital downtown he was in before. The doctors and other health care professionals seem harried and perpetually understaffed. While his room is relatively clean, the decor is dated, all the walls a sickly yellow or green. And everything smells strongly of disinfectant. It could be worse, he supposes, at least it’s clean here.
The psychiatrist leans forward towards him, “Let’s call it a day and let you rest. We’ll try again tomorrow.”
He grunts in response.
Something in his gut tells him to be wary of this doctor, of sharing too much if he ever remembers a goddamn thing. He knows he can trust his gut when it comes to reading people. Watching a steady flow of doctors, nurses, aides, social workers, and janitorial staff in his room, he doesn’t know how he knows, but he knows when someone is trustworthy or a threat. He can read body language at the most minute level with startling clarity.
The head nurse Kathleen is no nonsense and won’t tolerate any bullshit. Nurse Sally does the bare minimum and has sticky fingers. Gotta keep an eye on that one. He likes the neurologist who doesn’t sugar coat things. He’s pretty sure his physical therapist, Ryan, is secretly a sadist.
The night nurse, Brian, is a steadying comfort, always checking on him, “Doing all right, boss?” in the quiet loneliness of the evening. Brian alleviates the pressing annoyance of not knowing his own name by constantly switching up nicknames for him. Calling him buddy, champ, or hot stuff much to his amusement.
He also knows someone tried their damndest to kill him and make it hurt in the process. Gouged out left eye, stabbed between the ribs, sliced tendons, broken bones, internal bleeding, wrapped in a myriad of bruises and tossed from a significant height. He’s been told repeatedly what a miracle it is that he survived at all, washed up on the beach on the brink of death before being found.
For now he bides his time, giving his body the opportunity to heal and recover. He knows he won’t get far in the current condition he’s in after the multiple surgeries and months and months in the ICU. In physical therapy he can barely manage to walk a few steps without assistance, and he’s still adjusting to the eye patch and the use of his remaining eye. He’s relatively safe for now, he thinks, identity a mystery and off the beaten path. Although a small part of him wonders why no one has come to find him. Did he not have family, friends, or anyone who missed him?
Dave doesn’t make it easy on you to find him. Of course he doesn’t. Before he went private, or over to the dark side he liked to say, he made sure to replace all of his biometrics in various government databases with false ones. You have to go old school and retrace his steps from the sparest details he did share with you. Brant Rock the text message had read.
You find Resnik, Ari, and Kovac in the local morgue shortly after the hurricane blew through. Kovac and Ari are identifiable easily enough, but Resnik takes a moment, having most of his face blown off. It’s a shame about Kovac and Ari, they were good enough guys and you didn’t mind working with them on occasion.
But that bastard Resnik had once joked, thinking you were out of earshot, what a good fuck you’d be and you were so vulnerable with only the four of them around for miles and miles. You had slid the safety off your weapon at the same time you heard Dave threaten to rip his balls off through his throat if Resnick dared to try anything with you. You were planning to do worse, but hey, it was the thought that counts, right? That was when you knew you could really trust Dave. Resnik, not so much.
As you approach the next cold locker, for a moment you can’t breathe, suffocating in the thought that the next body you pull is going to be Dave. But to your immense relief, it’s not Dave. Dave isn’t in any of them. It’s not until you slip out of the morgue into your car a few blocks away that you realize you’ve been holding your breath. You allow yourself to sob, forehead against your steering wheel. Crying, such an unfamiliar sensation. Where was he?
It takes you nearly two weeks to find Dave. Listed as a John Doe at the big trauma center downtown, you disguise yourself as a nurse and sneak into his ICU hospital room late one night. Nothing prepared you for his condition.
“Did Mac do this to you, Yorkie?” you whisper as you trace your fingertips along the ashen skin of his forearm. It seems like the only part of him that is uninjured. The only sound in the room is the hiss of the ventilator and soft beeping of the heart rate monitor reminding you he’s actually alive. Barely. He’s unnaturally still for a man always on the move. You gasp softly when you take in his face, his beautiful face marred with wounds and a patch covering his left eye. Your chest tightens as you turn away to collect yourself.
Refocusing, you pull up his chart. The more you scroll, the more your rage builds at Mac or whoever did this to Dave. Your Dave. Severed tendons and ligaments, shattered ribs, crushed vertebra, multiple stab wounds, ruptured spleen, so much internal bleeding it’s a miracle he’s even alive. What the fuck happened?
He is in no condition to be moved. No matter, you think. While he heals, you are going to hunt down who did this to him and exact revenge. Excruciating revenge. Before logging out of the system you program it to send you any alerts to changes in his condition or if he’s moved to another facility.
Before you leave, you take one last look at Dave, gently run your fingers through his soft brown hair, marveling at how peaceful he looks despite the myriad of tubes plugged into him. You almost make it out of the room without shedding a tear until you really see his nose. Broken, shattered, scarred. Even if you don’t love Dave, you love his beautiful, strong aquiline nose. The way he’d nuzzle it into your neck in rare, soft moments. Press it against your mound when he pulled pleasure from you over and over. The quiet moments after you were both sated and sleepy, and he’d let you trace his brow, the strong curve of his nose, his plush lips, as he anchored you against him.
You are going to fucking destroy whoever did this to him.
The doorbell footage at Dave’s apartment confirms that Mac is the culprit behind Dave’s injuries.
The Robert McCall visit. The tense conversation outside with Dave and his guys and Robert. The false cheerfulness, the underlying tension bubbling underneath in the clench of Dave’s jaw, the threat from McCall to Dave and the guys, “The only disappointment in it for me is that I only get to kill you each once.” You bristle with barely contained rage at his words.
Good thing you know enough about the human body to resuscitate it. Looks like you’ll just have to give Mac a lesson on how to kill someone over and over. How unfortunate for him.
The most popular bets to his previous profession are linguistics professor or foreign service.
He discovered his fluency in Farsi when he overheard family members of another patient speaking it in the hallway outside of his room. It took him a moment to realize he understood what they were saying. Shortly after, he overheard several nurses conversing in Spanish and realized to his amazement he understood them too.
“Wonder what else you can speak, professor,” Brian the night nurse muses as he pulls out an assortment of chocolates in a gift tin. That’s a new nickname. “Here, have some French chocolate. Someone gifted them to me when they were discharged.”
He reaches for one gingerly, focusing on the pincer grip to pick a chocolate up. It has been a struggle learn how to use his entire body again once it healed enough to be subjected to OT, PT, talk therapy, and other forms of torture.
He frowns at the sweetness of the truffle as he takes a bite.
“No good?” Bri asks.
“Too sweet,” he mumbles. “But thanks.”
Belgian is better, he thinks to himself before pausing. How does he know that?
Brian grins at him before setting down the tin and checking his chart, “That just means more for me, champ.”
Glancing at the tin, Dave stifles a sharp inhale when he realizes he can read the French printed across the lid.
Discovering or rediscovering who he is has been… interesting. Some of the discoveries raised his spirits, like discovering his impressive ability to guess who was walking into his room based on the sound of their gait or how much a person weighed within a few pounds. Some discoveries though left him questioning what kind of person he really was. An emotional rollercoaster he’s ready to get off of immediately. If only he could just fucking remember!
Aside from being able to read people insanely well, he’s put together that he’s a bit of a control freak and likes things neat and orderly. The bullseye tattoo on his left hand had one nurse guessing that he was an olympic sharpshooter, but no olympian in recent memory remotely looked like him. He knew he had been found in a camo pullover and cargo pants, or what remained of it. Another nurse guessed that perhaps he liked hunting for sport. After all the speculation around the bullseye tattoo, Brian started only referring to him as killer. Curiously, he didn’t seem to mind that nickname. The wedding band tanline made him wonder if he is recently divorced or actually married, but took his ring off for more nefarious reasons. Was he a cheater? Did he have kids? What kind of man was he?
The strangest discovery came the first time orange slices appeared on his lunch tray. He found himself comforted by the smell of citrus as he ate them. Relaxed even, for the first time since he woke up. And also inexplicably aroused. His body had been so broken it had been months since he felt any tingle or whisp of desire, the feeling so unfamiliar it shocks him. What kind of kinky shit was he into?
That night he dreams of rain forests and citrus, relaxing in a familiar embrace he can not name. He wakes up the most refreshed he’s felt since he woke up in the ICU, body screaming in pain. And yet still he can’t explain why.
Sweat pours off of him as he grips the side rails of the treadmill. The PT room is absurdly bright and cheerful for the types of torture it routinely sees.
“You did great, man,” Ryan, his favorite physical therapist, praises. “Going to be running marathons in no time.”
He just grunts in response. He hates running. This he knows in his bones. Hates it. But he has come a long way from barely managing a step with assistance to walking on the treadmill for the first time. A stupid long painful way.
A sudden frustrated yell across the room jerks his attention to one of the newer patients across the room just as an exercise ball is flung in his direction. He reacts before can think, ducking and moving, assessing in a split second the source of the danger and prioritizing three different options in subduing the threat. He misjudges the distance of a table corner, bruising his hip as he dashes by. Damn his depth perception issues, he thinks. Just another thing to work on.
He surprises himself when he finds himself expertly pulling the patient off balance into a chokehold until security arrives. His body knows exactly how much pressure to put to neutralize the threat without killing him. Why does his body know this? Christ.
“Holy shit, man!” Ryan exclaims, helping to pull him up from the ground. “Where’d you learn to do that!”
“Can’t remember,” he groans as he feels his body protest the sudden intense movement. “Think I set myself back with that stunt.” He slumps over in a chair as sharp pain shoots up both his arms. He allows Ryan to fuss over him before one of the aides brings him back up to his room in a wheelchair. One step forward, three steps back it feels like.
It’s not until he’s settled into the privacy of his own room with a healthy dose of painkillers does he start to tally all of his mysterious abilities. He rubs the itchy scruff growing on his face with irritation. He hasn’t had a proper shave since he got here. And he probably won’t, at least not until his fine motor skills get better to do it himself. The staff are just too overworked here. He huffs to himself. He’s probably more of a danger to himself than anyone else right now.
With all his language skills, keen sense of observation, and now apparently mad jiu jitsu skills, what did it add up to? Who the fuck was he?
In the weeks following your visit to see your Dave in the ICU, knowing he has a long road to recovery gives you the time and space to track and hunt Mac. In true Dave fashion, he didn’t give you much to work with, just one single conversation about Robert McCall, but that is all you need.
Shortly before Dave missed his check in, he let you wrap yourself around him as the big spoon after having his way with you. He was uncharacteristically spooked, he told you, after running into his former team leader while out on a run. Robert McCall, Mac, was presumed dead. Dave swore he saw him die that day over seven years ago, setting off a chain of events leading to Dave going private with his guys. The impact of Mac’s death, the grief and the disillusionment that followed after leaving the service.
You knew about the job in Brussels—Susan—and the difficulty Dave was having tying up loose ends. Especially now with Mac resurrected from the dead and digging into Susan’s murder. He briefly mentioned Mac showing up at his apartment and confronting him and the guys a few days after the unexpected reunion. The doorbell footage you found confirmed this conversation.
You asked him if Mac was now a loose end.
Turning to face you, his eyes darkened with affirmation, “But I have a bad feeling about it, Sunshine.”
Mentally you beat yourself up for not pressing Dave more about this bad feeling at the time because you were too busy preening at the pet name. It marked the first time Dave ever met you at your place, raising an eyebrow at your maximalist design choices. It’s like a rainbow and unicorn threw up in here, he had grumbled. Too bright, so sunshine-y. You’re just jealous your place looks like it was decorated by someone allergic to color, you had quipped before he hauled you over his shoulders into the bedroom with a growled I’ll show you jealous, Sunshine.
You tried to smooth the furrows between his eyes. “Can I help?” you whispered before pressing a kiss to the curve of his nose.
He tensed before pulling back to look at you, “No. Don’t want you anywhere near him, baby. Mac’s a killer. He — he taught me everything I know.”
You protested but the look he leveled you with ended the discussion even if you wanted to push back and insist.
“You’re helping right now,” Dave consoled you, laying you back and slotting himself between your legs. “Reminding me I have this to come home to.”
The brief realization he had referred to you as home, quickly disintegrated at the pace he set, burying himself in you, sliding deep into the place only he could reach— the place you think of as his. He left early the next morning, pulling a black beanie over his head before kissing you goodbye. “See you in 48, Sunshine.”
You believe Dave when he said Mac was a killer, the best he knew. So you are meticulous in your tracking. In rare form, you make sure your contingency plans have contingency plans, even if you prefer flying by the seat of your pants. You only allow yourself to feel the quiet thrill of the hunt in order to keep the raging fury that threatens to make you slip up at bay. You summon patience you didn’t know you possessed as you slowly lay your trap and draw Mac in.
Robert McCall has a weakness for damsels in distress. And for extracting his own sense of justice in situations he came across, serving as sole judge, jury, and executioner. It rankles you to see him decide the fate of others, to right a wrong according to him and him alone.
But who are you to judge him when you decided to be his judge, jury, and executioner? So you lure him in and give him exactly what he always looked for. In the end, he is just like any other man really. A talented man, a ruthless killer sure, but he could never match your cunning combined with your wrath, your fury at what he did to Dave.
You keep the feelings at bay as you set the trap in motion until he is soundly in your snare. And even then, you don’t let the rage get out of control because you know your weakness in close combat. You won’t give him an opening to escape or kill you because you can’t stay cool and collected.
By the time you’d laid your trap for Mac, you got a ping from the hospital notifying you of Dave’s transfer to a long-term rehab facility. You pat yourself on the back for the perfect timing. Execute the target and then go check on Dave.
In the end, Mac isn’t that much different from any other kill you executed on the job. Just more satisfying in the end. You did it for Dave, afterall. Your Dave.
He decides that even if he doesn’t like the colorful scrubs the new nurse aide wears, she seems trustworthy enough, even if he struggles to get a more accurate read on her. It’s the first time he’s had trouble reading anyone since he woke up. So he sets aside the puzzlement as Brian introduces him to her. Maybe it’s because of how pretty she is, beautiful really, and how attracted he is to her, a pull that takes him off guard.
“Hey Killer, want to introduce you to our new nurse aide,” Brian says, gesturing to her as she stands a bit shyly next to him. “She’s gonna be helping me out so I don’t feel like a vampire all the time with these night shifts.”
“Killer?” she blurts out making an incomprehensible face before hiding behind a small smile.
“Gives me a reputation. I don’t mind.” He shrugs, smirking at the nickname. “At least until I figure out my real name, no one’s going mess with me. Nice to meet you…?”
The aide makes a funny noise in her throat as he extends his hand to shake hers. She recovers quickly as she takes his hand in hers. Something flickers behind her eyes, something warm, familiar before it fades away as she murmurs her name, Sunny, and tells him to let her know if he needs anything. The pull towards her strengthens as soon as his hands envelope hers, so soft and warm, that he doesn’t want to let go. Something feels so right at her touch. He murmurs her name before she pulls away to make the rounds with Brian.
You aren’t prepared to see Dave. You thought you were. You mentally talked yourself through it before you made your way up to his room with your new supervisor, Nurse Brian. You memorized everything from his chart, and know that he still has severe amnesia, still struggling with remembering anything at all, but nothing prepares you to be in the same room as him and not have a flicker of recognition across his face. His remaining deep brown eye levels a coolness at you that you haven’t seen since the first time you met and tried to kill each other.
This is bad. After everything, the missed check-in, the frantic searching, the revenge-ing to avenge him, the utter lack of recognition across his beautiful face cracks something in you. You barely recover enough to shake his hand and leave his room upright, telling Brian you have to go to the restroom before meeting any other patients.
Tears prick your eyes and you try to calm your breathing, not wanting to face the tsunami of feelings crashing down on you. When did these feelings for Dave get so out of hand?
You haven’t needed anyone since you cut off your abusive family and left home to find your way in the world. You learned to be alone, thrived at working alone in a corner you carved out for yourself. You filled your home with art and color and brightness after you realized you had the power to make your own sunshine. Who else would? Definitely not your shitty family.
And plants. So many plants, your bedroom painted a shade of deep, lush green. Filled with plants. It was like your own personal rainforest. So what if you worked in the dark, creeping in the shadows, a killer for hire? It didn’t mean you had to make it your whole damn personality.
Oh, but Dave. He was the unexpected cherry on top, a force of nature who brought more exciting ops to your life, along with mind-numbing pleasure. Intermittently at first, then regularly. You liked the control you’d cede to him after months of dancing around each other, building trust, moving from fucking in seedy motels after ops to his place or yours. The way he could fuck your worries and stress straight out of your pretty head. Apparently something had shifted without you realizing. Pesky feelings.
Fuck. You care. More than you were willing to admit before Dave almost died. You were too full of rage to feel anything else. You convinced yourself that the revenge you sought when you hunted down Mac was exactly that. Revenge. But now that the rage and fury had ebbed, you face down the why behind your need for revenge, realizing you did what you did because you cared. About Dave. Maybe you lo — lov — Fuck. What if he never remembers what you had together? What exactly did you have with him before, anyway?
He looks good though, even with the patchy scruff and fading scars across his face. The slightly lost expression on his face. Even if you can sense his discomfort in his body, in the way he sits by the window pretending to read a book. He looks so different, skin warm and golden, so alive, from the last time you saw him in the ICU. And his nose, the nose you love healed after all, healing back into its original strong curve.
As much as you want to run back into his room, yelling his name and shaking him until he recognizes you, telling him everything, you know you have to steel yourself for this next part, to allow him to heal and remember at his own pace. Wasn’t that what the doctor had written in his chart? Pushing him too hard will have less-than-ideal outcomes.
You sigh as you wash your face and take a deep breath. This part of the journey is going to be infinitely harder than finding Dave and killing Mac. But at least now he has you to help him jog his memory and watch his back. You lift your head up to walk out of the restroom, refusing to acknowledge the question prickling down your spine. What if he never remembers you’re his Sunshine?
It storms the first night of your shift, winds howling as you make your rounds and tend to the patients assigned to you. You do most of your menial work with one eye watching Dave, learning his routine and keeping tabs on him. It comforts you to know that he has a genuine rapport with nurse Brian, and has been making significant progress in his physical therapy. You get a sense he doesn’t trust the psych doc very much and has been frustrated at recovering his fine motor skills from the nerve damage in his arms. Must be why he doesn’t shave much, you think to yourself. The facility he’s in is fine for a publicly funded place, but you can tell the staff is overworked and underpaid. Your hourly wage is laughable. And everything is painted in this drab yellow that is an insult to the color. You’d read in his chart that the local precinct had put out feelers trying to identify the resident John Doe without much luck. You hope the luck holds out long enough for Dave to heal sufficiently so you can break him out of here before someone who shouldn’t find him does.
The bright flashes of lightning and roaring thunder keep you awake in the wee hours of your shift, strong winds whipping tree branches against the building, even as the patter of rain threatens to lull you to sleep. As you walk the sterile corridors, passing by Dave’s room you hear him yell out in panic, in fear.
It’s all you can do to stop yourself from sprinting into his room, ready to take out whoever is attacking him. You realize in the darkness of his room, illuminated only by a small night light, Dave is alone in his room, still asleep.
You realize he’s having a nightmare as you watch his eye work beneath his eyelid as he mutters, “Show yourself. Show — Show yourself Mac…” before trailing off. His face winces in pain as he jerks under the covers, panting to catch his breath before flinging his arms around like he’s trying to throw a punch.
For a moment you’re frozen, unsure of what to do as you realize he’s likely reliving his last encounter with Mac in real time. Careful not to use his real name, you put a firm hand on his arm to calm him, hey hey hey, to wake him up before he strangles himself in his sheets. As you make shushing noises he jerks the arm out from your grip, grabbing a hold of your throat before gasping awake, right eye wide in terror.
He apologizes profusely once he really wakes up and gets his bearings. It’s the same dream that haunts him every time it storms outside. Bubbling up from his subconscious every time it storms. He’s up high on a tower or lighthouse by some body of water. Rain whips across his face as the waves crash against the shore. He’s impatient, livid, but also… scared? Somehow he knows the before version of him would never admit the last thing.
He’s waiting for someone who is a danger, a threat. What’s taking so long? He remembers yelling, calling a name, Mac, — who is Mac?— before the dream shifts and he’s in indescribable pain. The most pain his body has ever felt slashes through him, punches into his ribs before he’s falling, falling, falling. It’s the icy cold that wakes him every time, shocking him back to consciousness. But this time he wakes up looking into the eyes of the pretty new aide with one of his hands clutched around her throat.
Well, this isn't the first time he’s had his hands around your throat. The dirty thought skitters across your mind, although that situation is preferable to this one. The thought amuses you, even as you start to feel the oxygen deprivation. It is a nice memory though, you think, being bent over your sink while Dave took you from behind. Arching you up with the tug of your hair to watch him in the mirror. It was after the one time you were almost late for a check-in and he was punishing you for it. For making him worry. If you’re early, you’re on time. If you’re on time, you’re late, Sunshine. Simpler times, you think.
You inwardly sigh and try to figure out how to get out of his chokehold without hurting either one of you. You settle for anchoring one hand to the one on your throat and twisting out of his grip while leveraging his elbow as gently as you can manage to avoid setting him back in his recovery.
He’s still gasping for breath as you try to soothe him with your voice, now scratchy from his grip. “You’re okay, you’re okay,” you comfort as you pat his back.
He starts apologizing immediately, a litany of shit, I’m so sorrys, until you level him with your best stare and quip, “I see where you get your nickname from, Killer.”
He stops long enough to bark out a laugh, before asking again if you really are okay.
“I should be asking you that,” you respond. “Seems like a hell of a dream.” You see him retreat back into himself, at whatever horrors had surfaced in his mind.
“Do you want to talk about it?” you venture, sliding a hand over his. It’s clammy and cold. You feel him start to pull away before stopping.
“I think it’s what happened… before,” he finally answers with a thick swallow, looking away. “No one needs to hear that shit.”
You squeeze his hand for encouragement. “Try me.”
To your surprise he does. After Dave recaps his nightmare as best he can, his hand still in yours, you begin to think that you let Mac off way too easily. Shoulda tortured him more before pulling the plug, you frown internally. Because holy shit, that man really put Dave through the ringer.
“Thanks for — for listening, I think it helped,” Dave squeezes your hand and looks at you with a surprisingly soft expression. Soft Dave, you never thought you’d see the day.
“Of course, Killer,” you squeeze his hand back before offering to get him some water. He accepts and hesitates as if he wanted to ask you something else. You stand but linger by his bedside giving him a moment.
“Will you — will you stay? Just for a bit, until I fall asleep?”
After you get him some water, you stay — your hand in his — until he drifts off into an uneasy sleep.
He decides he likes Sunny, not just because she’s pretty, but because she keeps him on his toes with her quick wit and dark sense of humor — to match his own he learns — that makes the days go by faster. Just another thing he learns about himself that just brings more questions than answers.
He can’t help smiling as she checks in with him for the day, wanting to know if he needs anything. “Brought you a present,” she smiles at him so brightly it leaves his brain stuttering to respond. “Your room is so boring, figured you could use a plant.”
She places it by the window before turning with a look to see if he approves. He does. He doesn’t know why but the little green thing feels familiar, a comfort like home. He scratches at the irritating scruff on his cheek before finding his words to thank her.
“I have some extra time today, do you need a shave?” she asks, like she can read his mind. “Looks itchy.”
“Yes. Please.” The look of relief on his face must be palpable because she immediately leaves to grab a razor and shaving cream.
The thought that she could read him so well, as if his mind is an open book screams to the front of his mind. His stomach twists at the thought. A creeping suspicion fills him as she approaches with the razor. What if she actually knows who he is, but he just doesn’t remember her? It would explain the inexplicable familiarity that came whenever she visited his room. What if the sunny personality is all an act and she’s actually a cold blooded killer sent to finish him off? Perhaps he should be more suspicious of her. He’d only known her for a week and she is the only person he couldn’t get an accurate read on.
His chest constricts at the recurring fear that someone had wanted him to hurt badly before trying to kill him. It really was only a miracle he survived. And now he was willingly allowing this stranger into his personal space with a sharp object. Could you kill someone with a disposable razor? Not ideal, he thinks, but possible.
“Everything okay?” she asks him as she sets up the side table with shaving accessories.
He hesitates, conflicted with his most recent revelations as she moves closer to him.
“Look, if I was going to sever your jugular a disposable razor wouldn’t be my first choice,” she dramatically rolls her eyes at him before looking at him for consent to start.
He lets out a nervous giggle, a sound he’s pretty sure he’s never made in his entire life.
“Not my second, third, or fourth choice either, okay?” she continues. “You have nothing to worry about. I’m not the one with the nickname ‘Killer.’”
She has a point. And she did just bring him a plant. And comfort him after one of his ridiculous nightmares the very first night she was here. If there was a moment when he was most vulnerable, that was her chance. He pushes away the feelings of suspicion and nods, allowing her to get started.
He couldn’t help leaning into her touch as she gently washes his face and smoothes on the shaving cream. The way the fading light from the window caught the flecks of colors in her eyes as she focused on the task at hand. He couldn’t help but think how cute she looks with her furrowed brows, all her attention on him. He decides the odds are low she was there to kill him considering how careful and gentle she is. He closes his good eye and allows himself to enjoy himself. Who knew getting a shave was such an intimate experience? He could feel himself relaxing under the warmth of her touch and the delicate scent of her citrus-y shampoo wafting across his nose at this close proximity. Something tugs on his mind at the scent, but she interrupts the thought.
“So what do you think, Killer?” she asks.
As he cracks open his eye, he realizes she’s holding up a small mirror. Time slows down at the same time his heart rate speeds up as he takes in his clean-shaven reflection. It’s like he suddenly remembered why he walked into a room after forgetting all this time.
His name is Dave. Dave motherfucking York.
When he says his name out loud, you let out an audible gasp you tried to cover as true surprise.
“This is huge! Dave, do you — do you remember anything else? Last Name?” You blurt out.
His lips briefly purse before his face flickers just for a moment, his tell, before he shakes his head no.
Liar. You immediately know he’s lying to you. He fucking remembers. You can see the cogs whirring in his brain, assembling all of the new information he unlocked when he looked at his reflection.You busy yourself tidying up the shaving accessories, watching him from the corner of your eye, hoping that he recognizes you.
It’s coming back to him, you can just tell from the way he’s holding himself up now, even just sitting in the chair, his posture is different. The lost expression is gone. The calculated, commanding presence of the Dave York you know is emerging right before your eyes.
Dave York is remembering.
He startles you when he speaks to you again, low and almost menacing, “Don’t tell anyone else. I’m not… ready to share yet.” His expression flashes dark at you.
Ah yes, the patented Dave I’m-telling-you-not-asking-you York.
“Of— of course. Take all the time you need,” you respond.
The next time you glance at him, he has that expression on his face where he’s assessing someone, assessing you, deciding if they are a threat or not. Great, the last thing you need is Dave trying to off you before he remembers who the fuck you are.
“I promise. I’m not going to say a word,” you try and reassure him.
He offers a nod, a dismissal really, before turning to look out the window, back to whatever memories may be emerging from the abyss of his mind.
You’d think that Dave remembering would be a good thing, but unfortunately the feds figure out who he is at the same time. You’re on shift, loitering by the nurses’ station when you see two nearly identical government looking guys turn the corner into the wing of the facility just after dinner. Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum, you think. And they reek of federal agents. FBI, specifically. Shit.
Dave has been more withdrawn since remembering his name. Brooding by the window. Typical Dave. You keep up your act, checking on him and chatting with him, hoping really for any glimpse of recognition, but still none so far. You can tell he’s still assessing you, trying to decide if you really are just a peppy aide or dangerous foe waiting to strike.
You busy yourself nearby as the feds chat with Brian, eavesdropping on the conversation.
“Wait, that guy’s wanted for murder AND treason??” Brian exclaims. “But he’s so… docile.” You quietly snort to yourself at that word being used to describe Dave York.
“And a whole list of other things, but those are the big ‘uns,” one of the feds responds.
They continue to chat with Brian, trying to determine how much Dave remembers and what condition he’s in in order to transport him.
“Psych notes still say he doesn’t remember very much. But physically he’s actually almost ready for out-patient rehab,” Brian scans the electronic chart.
“Gotta put in the transfer ’n get him to our medical facility,” Tweedle Dee nods to Tweedle Dum. “We’re going to post someone on the floor to make sure he doesn’t go anywhere.”
Shit, shit, shit.
“Well, as long as they’re discreet,” Brian warns. “Don’t want to disturb the other patients on the floor.”
“Roger that,” Tweedle Dum responds before pulling out his phone to make a call.
The agents nod at Brian before walking back down the hallway. You see them briefly stop outside of Dave’s room before continuing on their way.
Well, it looks like you’re breaking Dave out of here whether he remembers you or not. This should be fun. Hopefully he doesn’t try to kill you in the process.
Dave senses something is off before he even sees the two feds walk by his room on the way to the nurses station. He knows they’re there for him. By their gait and posture, they don’t seem like they’re in a particular rush to storm his room, so he bides his time, even as he slips a scalpel up his sleeve. He can’t run. All he can manage is a quick walk with a limp. There’s no way he can run fast enough or long enough to evade two federal agents, even if they look like Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum. Fuck, he thinks. He should have pushed harder in PT.
He resumes sitting by the window, angling himself into a better position to attack if they decide to take him in today and waits. Hopefully, it won’t come to that.
He holds his breath when the agents walk by his door again, pausing for just a moment. He makes sure to observe them so he’ll be able to identify them again if, when, they return. Fuck, he needs to come up with an escape plan.
He lets out a sigh of relief as they walk away. What the fuck is he going to do? Where is he even going to go? He’s sure he doesn’t have much time, a day at most. Of everything that has returned to him, he still cannot remember any of the safe houses or stashes of money/fake IDs he’s sure he has… somewhere.
Remembering has been… more bitter than sweet. His rough childhood and divorced parents both deceased, his own divorce from Carol, the stint in the military, black ops, the DIA, before going private. Then it all gets hazy. Were the dreams about Mac real? But how could they be if Mac was dead? Was Mac actually still alive? Remembering all of the heavy stuff was like grieving it all over again, all at once. It was fucking depressing.
As he shuffles to the bathroom to splash water on his face to help him think more clearly, he hears someone walk into his room. By the sound of the light stride, it’s the pretty aide that still talks to him even if he almost strangled her in his sleep. What if she’s making the move to kill him now, after all this time, because she saw the feds coming to take him away? As she rounds the corner, he moves out of instinct, pinning her against the wall with a forearm to her neck, scalpel out and ready.
She lets out a squeak as he expects, before he cuts off her airway. What he doesn’t expect is her to roll her eyes at him as he presses a scalpel to her jugular.
You aren’t sure when Dave got a hold of a freaking scalpel, but it doesn’t surprise you in the least. Of course he found something sharp to play with.
“Why the fuck aren’t you scared?” he demands. “You got a death wish or something??”
He eases his forearm off of your throat, but still holds you pinned against the wall. You inwardly sigh. In another time and place, this would just be foreplay, but right now the scalpel is still just a little too close to comfort. Probably shouldn’t push it with him, not too much anyway.
“That’s what you want to ask me, Yorkie?” you croak. You decide on no sudden movements though, in case it spooks his hand to twitch in the wrong direction.
He frowns at the pet name. Right, he never told you he remembered his last name. Oopsies.
“You’d never hurt me,” you whisper. “At least, the Dave I remember wouldn’t. Not — not unless I liked it.”
Your eyes search his brown one, for anything, any recognition, but still none comes. Why are you tearing up? It’s not like he’s crushing your windpipe anymore.
“How do I know you’re not the one trying to kill me?” he growls. Well, at least he sounds like the Dave you love. Love? Wait, what??
“Don’t you think if I wanted to kill you, I woulda done it the first night?” You roll your eyes again. You’re getting impatient now, if anything just to have the pointy blade removed from the vicinity of your neck. Maybe you could have done without the eye roll though.
His brows are still furrowed and you are so tempted to raise your hand and smooth the double crease away with your thumbs. You miss the way he’d melt under your touch, even if he’d never admit to liking it. He stares you down for a handful of breaths before you see the moment he makes a decision that reflects across his face.
The moment he shifts the blade an inch away, you pounce, leveraging the blade away from him and reversing your positions. Shoving him up against the wall, you flinch when you hear his head smack the wall a little harder than you prefer, even if you know you’re not strong enough to hold him there very long. You press the dull side of the blade against his inner thigh, right at his femoral artery.
“This bring back any memories, Yorkie?”
He blinks hard a few times, as if he is surprised to find himself pinned against the wall by you. He glances down at where you have the scalpel pressed against his inner thigh before looking back up again and you brace yourself because you think he’s about to fight you off. Then you realize he’s looking at the plant you left on his window sill and then back at you, really looking at you like he’s seeing you for the first time.
His eye widens as he softly inhaless, “Sunshine?”
The citrus bodywash, the plants, all the fucking plants, the too colorful scrubs. His Sunshine. Unlike all his other memories that came back gradually in waves, with you it was like a switch was flipped and he went from not knowing you to now remembering everything. He feels a surge of emotion — relief, excitement, desire — but the most prominent is trust. He has someone he can truly trust, who knows him, again.
All it took was a scalpel to his femoral artery. Figures. How he met you is a core memory after all.
He feels you lessen your hold on him, tucking the scalpel away, eyes wide as you pull away from him in disbelief. But he doesn’t want you to be further away from him, he wants to keep you close. And so he tugs you flush against him.
“Say my name again,” you ask, eyes still wide.
He brushes a thumb across your soft cheek and takes in your bright, discerning eyes. “My Sunshine.”
“You really remember,” you whisper, pressing your face into his chest for a deep inhale, before looking back up at him. “I missed you so much, Yorkie.”
He just looks at you, takes you in, tracing the outline of your lips before pressing his mouth to yours.
You and Dave don’t get much of a reunion, a single kiss, before you hear footsteps approaching. By the sound of the gait heavily favoring the right side, it’s your supervisor Nurse Brian. You immediately move, pretending to prop Dave up over one of your shoulders like you’re helping him to walk before Brian turns the corner.
“Everything okay here, Sunny?” Brian calls out as he approaches.
“Yep, all good. Just helping Killer here back from the bathroom. Looks like he… tweaked his knee pretty bad in PT,” you respond, trying to hide how breathless you are from one kiss. Dave gives you the most dubious expression before you elbow him in the side and give him a look that says just go with it okay?
Dave has never been a fan of improvisation like you, preferring his contingency plans having contingency plans, all neatly laid out in his cute little spreadsheets. Which… you can appreciate. You love a good spreadsheet, but sometimes flying by the seat of your pants is just so much more… fun and exciting. Maybe this is why the two of you make such a good team, a bit of intense control and structure and, well, a lot of whatever it is you feel like doing in the moment.
You can tell the moment Dave decides to play along when he drops a chunk of his weight on you and you nearly stumble trying to keep the both of you upright. You keep up a rambling monologue at Brian as you settle Dave back into his bed while Brian shuffles awkwardly around the room, obviously trying to herd you out of the room. Your spidey senses tingle — something is about to happen. Before you leave the room, you surreptitiously slip the scalpel back to Dave and give him the most reassuring look you can manage.
Just outside Dave’s room Brian finally spills the news that the feds got approval to transfer him later tonight. Perfect, you think. Just enough time for a bit more improvisation to break Dave out of this place. And get you out of here too. If you have to give another sponge bath or assist with another bowel evacuation you might start killing people.
“Turns out Killer is actually a killer,” Brian whispers, shaking his head. “I’ll be damned. Just make sure you don’t go into his room by yourself anymore.”
Boy, do you have news for your supervisor.
During your next break, you comb the facility looking for something to create a distraction. A big one. As you pass by the PT room, the small row of treadmills call to you and a burst of inspiration hits you. Yorkie will be so pleased. He hates running.
The fire is a lot bigger than you expected. Apparently all the foam roller things in the PT room are also highly, highly flammable. Piled together by the treadmills you rigged to spark, you didn’t expect it to make quite the towering inferno it did. But you know what? Mission accomplished.
In the chaos of the fire alarm and subsequent evacuation, you sneak Dave off in a wheelchair (and the plant you brought him, gotta save the little guy too!) and into a car you had borrowed before you started your very brief career in healthcare. Parked in an alleyway cleared of cameras, you almost giggle at the getaway going so well. The only person you had to kill was the fed left to watch Dave’s floor. Yorkie, on the other hand, is still tense with apprehension apparently.
“We’re not clear yet,” he growls as you flip on the radio and peel out of the alleyway.
“Don’t make me tranq you,” you threaten with a smile. “Raining on my brilliant plan.”
He grumbles something unintelligible while pinching the bridge of his nose, but keeps quiet as he looks out the window as Tracy Chapman’s Fast Car comes on over the radio. As the miles roll by, it occurs to you that it’s the first time he’s been outside of a hospital or facility in almost a year and the uncertainty of the future, now on the run, sobers you up a bit for the rest of the drive.
It takes a subway, a bus, and a boat, and another borrowed car, before you make it back to your place. You didn’t want to give the feds a chance at tracking either of you, so you took the extra long, long way home. You’re both quiet most of the journey, only communicating when necessary when switching modes of transportation.
The only time he asks you anything is when it starts to rain, water streaming along the wide windows of the bus. He whole body jerks when he remembers something he wanted to ask you, “Mac. Was he the one who… Is he — is he alive? Or dead?” You can hear the absolute terror in his whispered confusion.
You slide a hand over his to calm him, “He was alive. He didn’t die all those years ago.” You can feel his entire body tense even more. “He’s gone now though, Yorkie. Can’t come after you anymore.”
He stares at you, stiff as a corpse.
“I took care of him for you, baby.” You pat his hand, willing him to take a breath and relax.
He continues to look at you, wanting an explanation, but you’re not about to confess to murder and torture on a bus, even if it is mostly empty.
“Later, Yorkie,” you murmur as you snuggle up next to him, hoping he will finally relax. There’s still a way to go before you both get home.
He crashes immediately after getting to your place. You can tell he’s overexerted himself and is likely in more pain than he’s letting on. Still too wired from being on high alert and making sure Dave was okay on the long trek home, you curl up in an armchair by the bed and just watch him sleep. Perhaps you’re afraid if you take your eyes off of him for a moment, he’ll vanish again.
There’s a warm shaft of light emanating from the bathroom, casting soft shadows around the room, highlighting the outline of his form, those broad fucking shoulders and soft brown hair. He’s so still you’d rush to check for a pulse save for the slow steady rise and fall of his chest.
Even with all the progress he’d made in physical therapy, he still has a ways to go. You push aside the concern and anxieties of tomorrow to appreciate that he’s warm and safe in your bed right now. Your eyes trace his face, those plush lips you’ve only gotten to kiss once since he remembered you. Following the arch of that nose you love to the two deep furrows between his brows. How does someone look so grumpy even in their sleep? It delights you.
When you can’t take the distance, however short, from Dave, you slide into bed as slowly as you can. He’s usually such a light sleeper, but he doesn’t move an inch. You gently smooth a thumb between his brows until you feel him melt. You close your eyes and allow his steady breathing to lull you to sleep.
“You’re going to cook? Breakfast?” you almost fall out of bed as you try and untangle yourself from the sheets, still half asleep. Who is this man and what has he done with Dave York?
He grumbles something before raising his voice, “I miss real eggs. That place only ever made the powdered shit.”
You shrug and gesture at him to knock himself out, while you busy yourself with making coffee. Coffee always first. Then food. This is the correct order of things. As you hear the fridge door swing open, you feel Dave freeze, standing stock still while letting all the cold air out. Ugh, Dave.
“Sunshine…” he seems to be at a loss for words. “Why the fuck do you have an eyeball in your fridge?”
“Oh, I forgot!” you exclaim. “It’s your welcome home present, Yorkie.”
His head pokes out from behind the door and he frowns, “You know it can’t replace the eye I lost right?”
“Oh, I know. It’s what’s left of Mac,” you explain as you slide by him to grab the oatmilk for your coffee. The eyeball stares down at you, suspended in formalin, from its clear jar on the top fridge shelf. “Eye for an eye right?”
He just looks at you and then at the jarred eyeball in the fridge, and then back at you, speechless.
“Well, except he’s dead and you’re not.” You smile and shrug as you finish stirring the milk into your coffee and take the first blessed sip, extra pleased with yourself. “You’re welcome, Yorkie.”
“Fuck baby, sometimes you scare me you know that?”
You just smile at him, looking so at home in your colorful kitchen with his tousled hair and grumpy expression before you go to sit on one of the kitchen island stools. “I think that’s exactly why you love me.”
He rounds the island counter and cages you in with his arms. You take in his handsome face, so handsome it’s sometimes hard to breathe, as he just takes you in. He finally rumbles, “Yeah, I guess that’s why I do.”
“Yeah?” you look at the floor at the admission, swiveling back and forth on the stool, not quite ready to look at him again.
He tilts your chin up with one hand, “You really take care of Mac for me? All by yourself?”
You consider reminding him that you offered to help in the first place, but somehow an I told you so felt like it would ruin the moment. You just bite your lower lip instead.
“Mmh hmm.”
“Why, baby? I — I almost died,” he presses. “He coulda killed you! You didn’t know then if I was even going to make it or not.”
You frown at this. Did he not understand?
“And I’m still so — so broken. Never going to fully recover and be who I was. Not worth anything to anyone anymore.”
He definitely does not understand. And you haven’t had enough coffee for this conversation. You quell the urge to roll your eyes as you grasp the front of his shirt and pull his face down level with yours.
“Yorkie, that’s exactly why I killed him.” Your words are firm even if you feel yourself shaking at what you’re about to admit. “He doesn’t get to try to kill the person I love and get away with it.”
His eyebrows shoot up at your disclosure, that pesky L-word. Should it really be a surprise at this point though? After everything? Even if it terrifies you to admit out loud. You did all of this because you love him. Your Dave.
“After I — I saw you in the hospital, everything Mac did, there wasn’t another option,” you murmur. “You mean everything to me, Yorkie.”
Dave forgets about the stupid eggs as he drags you back to bed and reminds you exactly why you love his nose so much. Fuck, you missed this.
You suppose from one assassin to another, there’s no declaration of love like getting all murder-y and revenge-y for them. It might as well have been a proposal of marriage. Even with so much uncertainty about your futures and how much rehab Dave still has to go, you figure as long as he doesn’t start trying to back seat assassinate, you’ll both be fine. You’ll take care of your Yorkie until he can be Murdah Daddy again.
#dave york fanfiction#dave york x you#dave york x reader#murder dave#roll a trope challenge#the equalizer 2 fanfic#the equalizer#robert mccall#pedro pascal characters
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Dying in pain because I was re-reading the SVSSS extras and I came upon this (note this is part 1 due to tumblr allowing only 10 images per post – will release part 2 when I am physically ready to read SVSSS extras again)
One of the saddest things about Shen Jiu's backstory is the fact he doesn't immediately assume Yue Qingyuan abandoned him. It would've been sad enough if he just accepted that Yue Qingyuan would leave him at the first opportunity that arises, but instead Shen Jiu has faith in him. Faith that Yue Qingyuan would never abandon him. He thinks of different reasons why Yue Qingyuan hadn't yet returned. 'Maybe he's injured, maybe he's been trapped, or maybe he's dead even!'
Shen Jiu even resigns himself to finding Yue Qingyuan's 'dead' body and burying him himself, regardless of the fact that he might be getting into more danger. It's only after Shen Jiu had long since escaped the Qiu Household and was under the control of the Wu Yanzi, the demonic Cultivator who taught him, and they meet Yue Qingyuan at the Immortal Alliance Conference did Shen Jiu realise that Yue Qingyuan 'abandoned' him.
We see this in the dialogue that leads up to Shen Jiu accepting that Yue Qingyuan is 'Qi-Ge's' new name.
Before this scene, all the dialogue had listed Yue Qingyuan as 'Qi-Ge' or as 'Yue Qi'. (Qi-Ge when they were on the streets and Yue Qi also when they were on the steets and in the examples shown below)
The scene from earlier where Shen jiu accepts that his 'Yue Qi' is gone makes this all the more heartbreaking.
He asks Yue Qingyuan why he never returned. Simple and straightforward — the most straightforward, dare I say understanding, that Shen Jiu has been to anyone at this point. He simply asks him why he didn't come back, why he went missing for so long, why he's now dressed up as if he were a noble young master and the current Qiong Ding Head Disciple. He's willing to wait for an answer, willing to hear and try and understand. Would he have understood and accepted any excuses, no one truly knows, but Shen Jiu was willing to at least try.
When Yue Qingyuan opens his mouth and only a empty apology in the form of 'I let you down...' comes out, not even a reason or an excuse, Shen Jiu realises something.
He is talking to Yue Qingyuan.
He no longer considers Yue Qingyuan his Qi-Ge. To him, Yue Qingyuan is just like the other spoiled young masters that used to belittle him on the streets, the same stuck up fool born with a golden spoon in his mouth that was born too lucky to understand his pains.
After this scene and after Shen Jiu joins Cang Qiong, I can't find any scene where Yue Qingyuan is referred to as Yue Qi by Shen Jiu ever again.
Shen Jiu realises that he would have preferred Yue Qi, his Qi-Ge, was dead.
Shen Jiu genuinely cared and trusted Yue Qingyuan (or Yue Qi to be more accurate). In the scene where the other street kids where being attacked by Qiu Jianluo, Shen Jiu is laughing and states that they deserved it, clearly taking joy in their misfortune, but the moment Yue Qi gets involved, Shen Jiu becomes concerned.
He chases after Yue Qi, chases after him as the other goes to save another boy who Shen Jiu only moments ago had been laughing at for 'getting what he deserved'. This was also the very same boy who Shen Jiu had been fighting with for his begging spot.
Shen Jiu clearly does not show any level of care for the other street kids, yet he shows an exception foe Yue Qi. He willingly chases Yue Qi when the boy goes to save a boy Shen Jiu hates. He willingly waits for Yue Qi to return despite being tortured for so long with no hope in sight. He willingly gives Yue Qi the opportunity to give him an excuse for why he never came back and seemingly abandoned him so he could join the 'elites' on Cang Qiong and become its future Sect Leader.
People say that Yue Qingyuan shows favouritism to Shen Jiu, but I dare say that Shen Jiu shows an equal amount of favouritism to Yue Qi.
If anyone else dared to do something similar to Shen Jiu, Shen Jiu absolutely would've murdered them at first sight. Yet Shen Jiu has allowed Yue Qi all of this.
Shen Jiu doesn't accept any of Yue Qingyuan's attempts at an empty apology, because he's tired of getting hurt. Hurt from giving Yue Qi chances and giving him time, and recieving nothing but empty guilt filled apologies.
Apologies that feel more like lies to help sooth some guilt that Yue Qingyuan has for his past than actual remorse for betraying Shen Jiu. Yue Qingyuan believes that his actual reason would only be insulting to Shen Jiu, but if he had just broken for a mere moment and told Shen Jiu even a glimpse of the truth, then I guarantee you that Shen Jiu's intelligence would lead to him figuring everything out in one hour most.
However, Yue Qingyuan does not break his formal mask of distance politeness, does not cry and tell Shen Jiu he was quite literally unable to leave and save him, does not tell him about how Yue Qingyuan thought the other had died.
Shen Jiu simply wishes the corpse of his dead friend would stop apologising for something he never explains and would simply leave him alone.
Yet, Yue Qingyuan (Yue Qi) is a wound that will never stop bleeding.
He wants Yue Qingyuan to leave him behind again — this time he demands it of Yue Qingyuan.
However, Yue Qingyuan promised himself he would never abandon Shen jiu again.
The Two Soulmates Who Fate Itself Separated.
#mxtx svsss#svsss#shen jiu#original shen qingqiu#yue qingyuan#qi ge#xiao jiu#Bamboo thinks#Shen Jiu and Yue Qingyuan would’ve be so much happier if Qian Cao offerred mandatory therapy and communication was a normalised skill#qijiu#why i can never ship shen yuan with Yue Qingyuan#feels like im taking something else from Shen Jiu#NO HATE TO YUE QINGYUAN AND SHEN YUAN SHIPPERS THOUGH!#character analysis#trust Shen Jiu gets a mushroom body and finds Yue Qingyuan and the two commmunicate and live happily ever after#trust MXTX told me herself in a dream#part one because Tumblr only allows 10 images per post#Shen Jiu secretly had favoritism for Yue Qingyuan#Just too much miscommunication and trauma got between them#not really analysis#more ranting to get my pain out
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Eddie notices it first at Dairy Queen.
It's the first time since leaving the hospital that he's been somewhere with the whole party that isn't Steve's house or the Hoppers-Byers cabin. The younger children crowd the counter, talking over each other as they count their money and decide what to get, while the older teens and adults hang at the back, looking at the menu. Then Erica steps over to Steve and says something Eddie can't quite make out. He nods, winds his way through the gremlins, and places his order. When his name is called, he picks up two cups of ice cream and hands one to Erica, who takes it with a smirk and a comment Eddie can't make out, although it has Steve laughing and shoving playfully at her shoulder.
Eddie turns then to look at the other kids but none of them even seem to notice that Steve has seemingly paid for Erica and not them. It's confusing because Eddie is sure Henderson, at least, would be kicking up a fuss about it. Not even Robin says anything.
But, then again, maybe Steve owes Erica money. Or he lost a bet. Eddie is aware how fierce the younger Sinclair is in collecting on her debts, having made the mistake once and once only of asking her to buy him a soda. So, if no one else is bothered, neither is he. He shrugs and enjoys his sundae.
But then it happens again the next week at Baskin Robbins.
And again two weeks later.
When the last ice cream truck left in Hawkins comes through Steve's neighborhood and the only one to get anything is Erica - at Steve's expense, of course - and the other kids don't even grumble beyond wishing they hadn't blown all their allowance at the arcade, Eddie decides he's had enough.
"Okay, what is it with this ice cream thing???" he bursts out as they all settle back down next to the pool.
The burble of conversation stops as everyone turns to look at him, then glance around at each other.
"What ice cream thing?" Mike finally asks, genuinely confused.
"What ice cream... the ice cream thing!" Eddie splutters. "The thing where Steve always buys Erica ice cream and none of the rest of you munchkins seem to care!"
There's a collective ohhhh of understanding, but Eddie is still completely in the dark. He gestures for someone to explain.
"It's because of Operation Child Endangerment," Dustin answers, casual, like it's a normal, non-question-inducing answer.
Eddie scrunches his brows together and lets out a confused bubble of sound at the same time that Steve buries his face in his hands and groans, "I thought we agreed not to call it that."
Erica laughs and wags her finger at him. "Uh, no. Just because you demanded we change it doesn't mean we agreed to."
"...little lost here. What's Operation Child Endangerment?" Eddie asks, glancing sideways at Steve. He can see, between his fingers, that the other boy's face has gone bright red.
Steve groans again and sinks forward to let his head hang by his knees.
And so Eddie finds out everything about the summer of '85 and Starcourt mall. He already knew the basics, but he's still fascinated. Horrified. Impressed.
He watches Steve through the whole retelling, jumbled as it is by the kids all interrupting each other to add something they thought was being forgotten, and feels his heart ache inside his chest for the beautiful boy across from him. Watches him hunch his shoulders when Erica explains the deal they made, the one that's got her free ice cream for life. Watches him puff up a little with pride when Dustin describes him knocking the Russian comms operator out cold. Watches him squeeze Robin's hand when she mentions the Russian torture and drugs. Watches him tug El into a hug when Jonathan talks about having to cut into her leg.
Eddie watches Steve - brave, loyal, loving Steve, who won't break a promise or a deal even after he most certainly could - laughing with their friends, taking their ribbing and teasing them in return, ruffling Dustin's hair and splashing Erica, almost starting a party-wide splash fight.
Eddie waits until everyone is distracted by Max chasing Lucas across the pool after his cannonball knocked her from her floaty, various advice being shouted to both, then moves to sit next to Steve on his pool chair.
"That was, uh, a lot," he says quietly.
Steve bites his lip, turns a little away from the chaos in and around the pool, although his eyes still track the chase, Max having almost cornered Lucas. "Yeah, yeah it was," he replies, just as quietly.
"Pretty impressive," Eddie tells him, knocking their shoulders together.
Steve shrugs. He snorts as Max finally catches Lucas and dunks him a couple times before they both dissolve into laughter.
Eddie bumps his shoulder again. "Seriously, dude, you gotta know how cool you are."
"I guess," Steve says, still not looking at Eddie, fidgeting with his hands instead.
Eddie thinks he knows what thoughts might be running around inside Steve's head, so he puts a hand over Steve's. The jittery motions still under his touch. "Hey, you got them out of there. You didn't know what you were walking into and you all got out alive. I call that pretty badass."
Steve finally turns to him. The look in his eyes makes Eddie want to pull Steve close, hold him until that look disappears. But he doesn't, just squeezes Steve's fingers.
The corner of Steve's mouth ticks up, just a little. "Thanks, Eddie." He looks like he might say more, but suddenly Dustin lets out a whoop and they both turn to the pool. Jonathan, Nancy, Robin, and Argyle have started a game of chicken, Nancy on Jonathan's shoulders and Robin on Argyle's.
They watch, laughing, as the girls wrestle until they both go tumbling into the water together and come up spluttering. Steve's head is thrown back, his shoulders are shaking with giggles and Eddie feels a grin stretch across his face.
He leans forward to rest his chin on Steve's shoulder, his hand still over Steve's, a teasing tone in his voice when he says, "So, hey, I was wondering. What would it take for me to get free ice cream for life from Steve Harrington?"
Steve turns his head and Eddie pulls back so they can look at each other. And that's all they do for a long moment, Eddie's breathing speeding up when Steve's gaze drops to his lips.
But all Steve does is turn his hand in Eddie's grip, so he can tangle their fingers together. He squeezes Eddie's hand, then stands, grinning, tugging Eddie up with him.
"C'mon," Steve says, pulling Eddie over to the pool before jumping in with a splash. Eddie ducks away from the water, grinning like a fool. When he catches Erica's knowing smirk, he just shrugs helplessly and follows Steve in.
Maybe he owes Erica some free ice cream, too.
#steddie#stranger things#steve harrington#eddie munson#erica sinclair#dustin henderson#robin buckley#steve absolutely still buys erica all her ice cream and probably will for the rest of their lives#eddie thinks it's charming#and this further confirms for him that steve is badass#also this got way more serious than i was expecting 😅#and sometimes the characters take over#yeah i really have no idea what happened cuz this was just supposed to be funny 😅#oh well#enjoy
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If Alastor were in a relationship with Lucifer when Charlie was a kid:
Royal Family of Hell: Lucifer, King of Hell; Lilith, Queen of Hell; Alastor, Prince Consort; Charlie, Princess of Hell
they all have specific areas that they take care of: Lucifer is more focused on the Hellborn population as well as Heaven and Hell relations, Lilith deals with Hell as a whole and Alastor usually manages the sinners
you really don’t want to piss off any of them, but Alastor is the quickest to use torture and killing to make his point
Some people would refer to Alastor as “Lucifer’s pet”. if Alastor hears that, your screams will be broadcast over the radio. If Lilith hears it, she’ll just laugh because she thinks it’s funny. Lucifer also thinks this is funny, and he will make his own jokes about it much to Lilith’s own amusement and Alastor’s chagrin
Lilith and Lucifer have the most overtly loving relationship, Lucifer and Alastor have an antagonistic but fond relationship, and Alastor and Lilith are closer to friends
Alastor maintains a relationship with Rosie that he had from before he became Prince Consort. he also continues to deal with Overlord business, which never makes its way to the palace
and as for Charlie:
she has a slight preference towards Alastor because he spends the most time with her and indulges her whims because he likes the entertainment
as a baby and even as a young child, Alastor was usually first to show up if she needed something because if he couldn't watch her himself, he kept watch over her via radios. even as she got older, he kept up the habit
Charlie refers to her parents as Mom, Dad (Lucifer) and Father (Alastor)
nobody is quite sure when or where Nifty became acquainted with Alastor, but she likes to terrorize the palace servants. she is really good about keeping the royal apartments clean, and is a good playmate for Charlie so neither Lucifer or Lilith mind
Husk will sometimes have to babysit Charlie. he’s his usual grumpy self, but she’s polite, kind, and treats him with respect, even if she has a tendency to ask a lot of questions
when Alastor needs time for himself, he’ll go visit Rosie in Cannibal Town. he’ll sometimes bring Charlie to visit Aunt Rosie, so the residents know her and she’s a bit more comfortable around them
Alastor used to take Charlie to Overlord meetings when she was little. the first time in particular was quite a sight: the terrifying Radio Demon, sitting with the baby Princess of Hell in his lap
as a baby, Charlie had a habit of biting people she didn't like. Vox tried to get in Alastor's good graces by babysitting her, but she took an immediate dislike to him. she terrorized him so badly he refuses to deal with her unless at least one of the other Vees is with him
#Hazbin Hotel#radioapple#LuciLith#Lucifer Morningstar#Alastor#Lilith#Charlie Morningstar#Hazbin Hotel au#inspired by the fact that I think RadioApple and kid Charlie is super cute#but FUCK do I hate it when they just replace Lilith with Alastor#if I cannot find qprs in media I will make them myself
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Things I've Noticed During My Several Rewatches of The Doomstar Requiem
(Lock in, this is gonna be long)
Murderface is the only one out of the group to have a completely obscured face, possession foreshadowing perhaps? Also he lacks the golden streaks on the halo-esque circles behind them. Inch resting... (Not gonna talk too much abt when the scene goes red and the beam behind Murderface is dripping blood because I believe it's already been talked about before by others, and I don't want to include anything in this post that's already been discussed) Also I love how all of their weapons match their instruments
The way Toki doesn't even flinch when he gets alcohol poured on his wound is heartbreaking, likely either because the torture his parents put him through as a kid has given him a wicked pain tolerance or because he's so dissociated, similarly to how he behaves in Dethfam when his parents are around or Dethzazz when he's mentally in the punishment hole (I do believe this sort of catatonic state he's in is what's causing him to seem so much worse off than Abigail—though his untreated diabetes + Magnus targeting him more because of his relation to Dethklok probably also adds to it—he's likely not really eating or taking care of himself)
At first I thought that Magnus was feeding them dog food, but on closer inspection I actually believe it to be human remains. Yeesh. You can see it really looks like muscle fibers, and there's bones, as well as skin that still has hair on it. Magnus Hammersmith they could never make me like you
On the table is the Klokateer from Tracking/Ishnifus and The Challenge!!
I think it's interesting how much Nathan's fantasies look like Toki's! I just think it's neat! They're more similar than they seem :)
This is the most expressive we've ever seen Charles and it makes my heart hurt AUUGHH
The way Nathan licks his lips/teeth after the "How can I be a hero when my dick's as big as a shoe" line. DISGUSTING /affectionate
Does this fan look familiar? He should, because it's Dethklok's son, Fatty Ding Dong!! Good to see he's doing well lol, and his real name is Rick, we can also assume that at LEAST four years have passed since season 1, since in season 1 episode 10, he's said to be 14. Since he has a roommate now, he is likely to be around 18 years old
(Apologies for the low quality screencap I had to nab this from Youtube) I kind of wish that the animators didn't change this original animation for the end of The Fans Are Chatting. I just feel like Nathan pushing away the Klokateers is more symbolically relevant. Nathan is quite literally pushing away the safety and security his avoidance has given him, the hologram disappearing and the fans leaving is a metaphor for the fact that he can no longer keep himself deluded into thinking that everything is fine, he can't hide from the truth anymore
Almost all of the Rock A Roonie Fantasy Camp counsellors came to the Dethklok audition, there's even the depressed blues guy in the background. There's also Sammy Candynose from Snakes 'n Barrels, so I like to think that Pickles told him about the auditions
There's also the guitarist from Get Thee Hence
Toki's shadow!!! The wings!!!
The animals they take the form of match two of the guitars Brendon Small created with Gibson, The Thunderhorse and the Snow Falcon :D
It's super tiny but their smiles :'))!!! Also the way their parts play on different sides when you listen with headphones but then combine at this part makes me so crazy. Not only does Toki challenge Skwisgaar and inspire him to get better, but they're also having fun! Which I can imagine never really happened when he played with Magnus
Probably just an animation error but Skwisgaar is animated as his present day self here. Idk, just thought that was interesting
I think the order of the rest of the band joining in on the background vocals is really interesting, it goes: Skwisgaar, Pickles, Nathan, Murderface. Personally I choose to interpret it as a representation of how long it took each member to warm up to Toki as their rhythm guitarist, Skwisgaar was super fast since he was the one to choose him, Pickles was the one wanting a new guitarist in the first place, Nathan and Magnus seemed to be close, so it would definitely take more time for him to accept Toki as the whole Magnus situation would still feel a little raw, and Murderface is a professional hater so of course it took him the longest
I really love just how soft and content Murderface looks in Toki's fantasy. We all know he has a softer side and I think that either Toki perceives it, or possibly Murderface shows it towards him (Which I can believe because they're often together and they get along pretty well, Toki is probably the person Murderface gets along with the best actually)
I also want to mention that at this part of I Believe, Toki is no longer singing along with the other's background vocals, and is harmonizing with himself, which gets really sad when you realize that it's because this was just Toki remembering this to keep himself sane and he's actually kidnapped, hurt, and alone. Ouch :(
The drunk driver who crashed into the Jomfru brothers is the same guy who crashed into Nathan's second grade class in Dethgov. I guess there's only one drunk driver that exists in the Metalocalypse universe lol
I think we as a fandom need to appreciate Eric Jomfru more. He's such a real one. The way they make you care about him after he's already gone is so evil lol /affectionate
The way the Klokateers join in on this song makes me wonder if perhaps they view each other as brothers, or if there's just like a strong sense of brotherhood between them
The groupie on the left can actually be seen in Fatherklok at the beginning of the episode, as one of the women Skwisgaar has been with, so y'know what? She has valid reasons to be mad honestly
Murderface's pose up top always sends me, sir please calm down, keep it together king
Murderface holding his wrist :(
If you look closely, you can actually see that the Revengeancers are eating Ishnifus. Which is just,, utterly horrifying
In between the shots of the band and the assassin, there's so many inconsistencies in the placement of the characters. For the last two images, I just like to rationalize it as Pickles immediately attempting to run away, then noticing that the rest of the band is still there and being like "Oh shit we're squaring up? Ok I guess". I know it's just so Nathan can be in the center when they use the Dethlights but I just think it's funny
Also in the second to last picture, the way Murderface, typically the most cowardly of the band, isn't looking at the assassin, but instead, is looking worriedly at Toki, makes my heart hurt. I adore their relationship
Murderface is actually sleeping in Nathan's bed here. If you compare different shots of their bedrooms and beds, it's clear that this is Nathan's, you can tell from the striped pillowcase. I'm not gonna talk too much about this, mostly because I want to make a separate post talking about how Murderface is seen more than once sleeping in Nathan's bed when he's hurt/unwell. It's very sweet lol
ANYWAY! Thanks for reading these rambles, I love The Doomstar Requiem so much! I might make a post like this for Army of the Doomstar as well, and also just some analysis posts if I get the confidence lol. Big thanks to @ratskal for watching this a dozen times with me and pointing out things too. (I actually reached the max limit of pictures allowed in a post which is a little funny, I am so normal about this show /lying)
#metalocalypse#mtl#the doomstar requiem#tdr#toki wartooth#nathan explosion#william murderface#skwisgaar skwigelf#pickles the drummer
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Long Way Down Part One
Part Three
Here's the story of married Harry who's a dad to three small kiddos, and married for over seven years to Y/N. Marriage is always hard work, but what happens when being married to a pop star becomes too much for Y/N?
WARNING-slight references to sex, curse words
This is angst angst and more angst. There are other parts to the story, and with enough feedback, I'll post more to this story.
Word Count 4.7K
“Japan. Chile. Australia. Oh, and let's not forget Madagascar. Mada-Fucking-gascar, Harry. Who goes to Madagascar? Why the one and only Harry Styles? That's who. You realize most people never see any of those places in an entire lifetime, right? But you, you went to all of those places THIS YEAR!” Y/N stomps to their daughter's room picks her up from her crib, hoists the baby on her hip, and walks out of the nursery and down the hall.
Harry follows her to the kid’s bathroom. "Y/N, baby, it was all for work. I don't care about those places, don't even get to enjoy them."
"It doesn't matter. You still got to go. And that's in addition to your normal New York, LA, often Paris or Rome. Those places are just another day at the office for you. Do you want to know where I've been? Whole Foods. Baby Gym. Holmes Chapel. The park. School runs. Yep, that’s about it. Oh, the doctors, and kids' birthday parties; on wild days, a friend comes for a glass of wine when I can finally relax at 9 PM. So don’t do this with me, not this time.” She begins to undress the baby. She’s seething but keeps her voice down so the little one isn’t upset.
“Do you know how many days you’ve been home since the tour ended? I’ll tell you because I know exactly. 26. You could’ve paid someone to do your dirty laundry and brought home clean clothes. Even the slightest gesture to show you get how hard it is around here.”
“I’m sorry. I was so focused on just getting home I didn’t even think of having them done.” Harry turns on the bath water and tests the temperature.
“Oh, poor thing. Traveling the world in the lap of luxury must be torture.”
Harry walks to the door. "No, Y/N, no. You know what a tour is like. You've been on the road with me. You know how utterly chaotic it is. Yes, I should've thought about the laundry, but I didn’t.”
She places the baby in her bathtub seat, squats, and begins soaping her up. “Of course, you didn’t think of me.”
Harry is leaning on the doorframe of the bathroom now. “Babe, swear if you give me just a bit to decompress, I'll be happy to give you whatever ya need. We’ll take a family vacation, go someplace nice, the five of us, any place you like, you pick.” He extends his hands in her direction.
“You've been home 26 days. That's how long you've had to decompress.” She uses air quotes around decompress. You've done zero loads of laundry. I do at least four a day, trying to catch up with everything. Laundry never ends even when it’s just me and the kids. You leave a trail of mess in every room. You do nothing to help, nothing. It’s like you’ve completely checked out on the fact this is supposed to be a partnership.”
“My job isn’t just dancing around in sparkly trousers for an hour or two. I’m fucking exhausted too. You’re not playin’ fair, Y/N.”
"Thing is, I'm not playing at all, Harry.”
“A vacation with the five of us is a vacation to you, Harry, not to me. I love you guys, I really do, but I need a break. I needed this just for me. I wasn't asking for much, Harry. Five days for myself, time to decompress, as you call it. I wanted to be with my friends and sisters, but you know what, never mind. Go. Just go. We’ll talk about it when I’ve put her to bed.”
“I’ll put her to bed.” He closes the door behind him when he steps out.
Harry hears her singing Adore You. The song always makes the baby smile. Y/N can’t be completely furious if she’s still singing his songs. Harry couldn’t be more wrong.
When Y/N finishes with the bath, she wraps her daughter in her little duck towel with a hood and exits the bathroom. Their son’s door is cracked down the hall, and she hears Harry talking with him. She stands just outside the entrance to eavesdrop.
“That sounds like a good time, buddy. I’m glad you had fun with your friend. Did you make sure to hug him and say thank you before you left his house? Did you thank his family for having you over?”
“Yes.” He sounds so tiny for someone who wrecked Y/N’s nerves with his big voice the entire time Harry was gone.
“So, let’s get snug as a bug in a rug.” Harry wraps the blanket over their son and kisses his forehead. "Have a good sleep, and we'll have some fun in the morning, yeah?”
“Love you, Dad.”
Harry walks across the room and turns off the light. “Love you even more, bud. See you in the morning.” He closes the door when he leaves the room.
“Thank you.”
“He’s m’ son too, Y/N.” Harry walks toward the couple’s room, head hanging down; he drags his finger along the wall.
He doesn’t stick around to help put Lola down, be it because he forgot he said he would put her to bed or he's just upset.
Y/N walks to Lola’s nursery, dries and lotions her, dresses her for bed, and places her in the crib, hoping she will go down without a fight. "Love you, punkin’. Good night.” She kisses her and stands near the bed. She waits to see if she cries. When she only babbles, y/n turns on the baby monitor and nightlight, then crosses the room, turning off the light as she exits, but only closes the door partially.
Y/N heads toward the bedroom, dreading how the rest of the evening will go. Harry is sitting on the bed reading a book about Japanese art, his readers slide down his nose as he pretends to be intensely focused, but she knows him and knows he’s not focused.
She walks to the dresser, opens a drawer, and gets some pjs. She’s too pissed off to bother with a shower but goes to the ensuite to undress. “Don’t have to pretend you’re reading Harry.” She changes her clothes and tosses the dirty clothes in the hamper, does her skincare, and brushes her teeth. She picks up a pair of Harry’s gross, beat-up sneakers as she enters the bedroom. "These are nice," she says, tossing them across the room.
“Cut the crap, Y/N. I know what you're doing. You're not getting a fight out of me, so toss all the shoes you want. I'm not going to argue with you. The passive-aggressive stuff stopped working a long time ago."
She exhales and sits on the bed. "Not being passive, Harry, just aggressive. I'm tired. I'm so tired." She falls back on the bed.
He crawls over to her and plants a kiss on her lips. “Mmm, minty.” He smiles.
“Yep.” She closes her eyes.
He kisses her again. “Come over here; Let’s have a snuggle and a good night’s sleep.”
“I can’t tonight. I just can’t.” She sighs as she climbs to the pillows, placing her head down on the fluffiest one-her favorite one.
“Can’t what?”
“Have sex.”
“Wasn’t trying to.”
She rolls her eyes. "Okay. I don't know your pattern exactly; whenever you want to get frisky. Just met you, have no idea what you're like when you want to pretend an argument didn't happen, makeup, move past it, and get what you want.”
Harry’s eyes narrow. He swallows the lump in his throat and shakes his head in disbelief. “Wow. I can’t believe you just said that. That’s one of the worst things you’ve ever said to me. To imply I manipulate you for sex.” Harry stands, grabs his pillow, and walks to the door. “I’ll be in the guestroom.”
The following day she slowly opens her eyes and reaches over to Harry, but he’s not there. She thought that after he cooled off, he'd return to bed. She thought he’d slip under the covers once he knew it was safe and she was asleep. But he didn't come back to bed. She sits up and looks around the room. Gross sneakers are still across the room, three of Harry's hoodies over the recliner, one of Lola’s toys, and an empty water bottle next to Harry’s wallet -the room is a disaster. She sighs, rubs her face, and flops back down. The house is quiet, almost too quiet. Why is it so quiet? In a panic, she sits up, throws on her robe, and walks to the door. She flings it open and rushes down the hall. When she gets to Lola's room, she pushes open the door; the light is off, and Harry, bare-chested, sits in the recliner, rocking her. "Is she sick? What time is it? Where is everyone?"
"No, she's not sick, Y/N, she's m’ daughter, and she needed a cuddle with her daddy."
"Oh. Look about last night…."
"Not right now, Y/N. Let me enjoy this. Archer and Poppy are in the playroom watching a film. They’ve had their breakfast.”
She nods and leaves the room. She can’t hold back her tears as she walks to the kitchen. But her tears abruptly halt when she enters the filthy kitchen. Harry obviously made breakfast for everyone. Pancakes and bacon are covered with a cloth and a note with Mumma written in crayon to let her know it is hers. But the tenderness she feels doesn’t last long as she scans the kitchen. The dirty plates, cups, pots, and pans litter the kitchen and breakfast nook. The stove is splattered with grease and batter, and God knows what else. She starts to gather the dishes to clean them and load the dishwasher. Once everything is in the sink, she sits at the table in the breakfast nook, picking at the plate of food left for her. She isn’t hungry. Lately, she never is.
"Not as good as yours, but not half bad.” Harry breaks the silence as he stands next to the fridge arms folded over his muscular chest.
“Where is-“
“Living room in her pack-n-play.”
“Okay.” She picks up a slice of bacon and bites into it. She tosses it back on the plate.
She stands, walks to the sink, and begins cleaning off the excess food.
“I was going to do that as soon as I got done with the baby. I didn't have time to juggle it all."
“Really? Didn’t have time? Couldn’t juggle it all? That’s rich.” She shakes her head and chuckles as she places the cutlery into the designated basket in the dishwasher.
He shakes his head, looking at the ground. He cocks his mouth to the side and clicks his tongue. "Touche." He walks over and begins placing the dishes in the dishwasher.
She moves, allowing him the glamorous opportunity of a lifetime. “Wonder when the last time you did this was. Long before X-Factor, I’m sure.”
“Don’t.” Harry scrapes off a dish.
“But why not? You get to have all the fun. You get to do all the talking. You get to see all the things. Meet all the people. You get it all.” She leans against the counter, tapping her fingers.
“Y/N, I’m warning you-don’t.”
Her eyes widen, and she stands with a smirk on her face. This man bought all the audacity. “Warning me? Warning me? What are you going to do if I don't stop? Nothing.”
To get her attention, he throws a glass, aiming it at the sink, but not realizing the force behind it, it crashes into the stainless steel and shatters.
They both jump back, then freeze.
He reaches toward Y/N. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I didn’t mean to."
“Get out. I mean it, Harry. And I don’t mean the kitchen. You leave this house. You leave this house now, and don’t come back.” Her words are low and deliberate as she stares at the floor.
“That was out of order what just happened. I'm sorry; you know I'd never lay a hand on you or do anything in the world to scare you. Don't know what came over me."
“I said get out.”
“Excuse me? Don’t come back to my own frickin' house? You've got to be kidding. I'm doing no such thing, Y/N. Will I go downstairs and stay in the entertainment room or sleep in the guest room? Sure. Will I take the kids out for the day? Sure. But leave? No. We’ve never spent one day apart in anger, and we aren’t starting now, so get that idea out of your little head.” He points to his temple, gritting his teeth.
“Fine, then I will.” She pushes him out of the way when she passes him to leave the kitchen.
Harry follows her. “You’ll what, Y/N?” He grabs her arm, attempting to stop her.
“Get your damn hand off of me, you big bully.” She jerks away, storming toward the bedroom.
Harry goes to the living room to get Lola. He hears their bedroom door slam. Poor girl is probably scared. She’s never heard people shout before, especially her mama or daddy. And now her mama says she’s leaving? The words don’t even sound right when Harry says them to himself. Harry approaches the bedroom, tapping on the door. “Y/N, the baby, it’s time for her feeding.”
She marches toward him and takes the baby. “Of course it is; one more thing your pathetic ass can't do around here. Now, get out." She pushes against the door.
Harry walks out and closes the door.
***
Downstairs, Harry talks to Poppy and Archie, making sure that if they heard the yelling, they aren't scared. "Arch, you okay, bud?”
“Yeah.” He doesn’t look up just keeps playing with the Barbie and Ken dolls.
“Pop, you doing okay?"
“Yes, daddy. Are you?” She walks over and hugs his legs.
“Yes, baby, Daddy is fine. Are you guys in the mood for a trip to the zoo? Maybe some pizza and ice cream after?
“Yeah.” Poppy detaches herself from her daddy and jumps up and down.
“Can we go now?” Archer says, dropping the dolls and standing up.
"We can. Let's go get dressed, yeah?" Harry walks toward the stairs to the home's main floor.
The kids follow him up.
“Are mumma and the baby coming?” Poppy asks.
"Not sure, baby girl.”
Archer interjects. “If they’re gonna yell, I hope not."
Harry turns around. "There won't be any yelling, buddy, but that's not nice what you just said. We never say things like that, especially about your mummy or baby sister. We always want them included in whatever we do, always. Don’t ever say anything like that ever again.”
Archer is crying now. "Sorry, Daddy, I didn't mean it."
At the top landing of the stairs, Harry stops and kneels to Archer putting his arms around him. "Come here. Let's hug Daddy, yeah?"
Archer slowly puts his arms around Harry’s neck. “Didn’t mean it, Dad.”
"I know, buddy, we're all having a bad day, but what is the one, very most important rule in this house."
“Treat people with kindness.” Archer releases himself from the embrace.
"That's right, treat one another with kindness and love and goodness."
Archer sniffles. “I will.”
“All right, to our rooms, we go.” Harry leads the kids into the hall.
Harry feels like his heart just broke in two. The one thing they’d both agreed on before having kids is they would raise them in a peaceful home. They both came from divorced parents and knew what it was like when the family was immensely unhappy.
Harry ushers the kids to their rooms once back in the central portion of the house. "Okay, lollipop, do you need daddy's help getting dressed? Or do you want to try by yourself today?"
“I can do it, Daddy,” Poppy says. She pushes her blonde curls off her face.
"Good girl. Now, if you need me, call me, okay? And if you want something hanging up, remember no climbing; call for me, and I'll get it.” Harry pats her on the back.
“Okay.” Poppy skips to her room.
“Arch, do you need help?" Harry asks, following Archer as he walks to the room next to Poppy's.
“No, I got it.”
"Okay, guys, I'm going to help mummy with Lola. I'll be just down the hall."
Harry takes his time to get to the end of the hall. He taps on the door before entering. “Love?” He pokes his head in the door.
“Yeah.”
“Can I come in?”
“Yes.” She snuggles the baby closer as she nurses her.
“Gonna take the big kids to the zoo. Can I take Lola?”
"She's your baby too, Harry. Please don't ask me a question like that. Of course, you can take her.”
“All right, by the time I'm dressed, she should be finished, and I'll get her ready." Harry walks to the bathroom.
“Pretty sure I’m capable of getting my child dressed,” she mumbles.
Harry snaps around. "What the actual fuck is wrong with you, Y/N?" He's angry, but he keeps his voice down. "First, I do nothing, and then you pop off like that when I try to do something." Harry turns to walk back to the ensuite.
"Daddy's a grumpy pants, isn't he, baby girl? It's okay; you've got a mummy. She’ll take care of you, just like she always has.”
Harry stomps out of the bathroom, mouth full of toothpaste. “No, Y/N. No. You aren’t going to do that shit," he says, toothpaste foaming from his mouth as he flings the toothbrush and points it toward her.
She sighs. “Okay, Harry, whatever."
“Whatever? Whatever?” I’m done with this Y/N. Do what you will, hate me if you want, but don’t bad mouth me to our kids.” He walks again to the bathroom sink, and turns on the water, rinses his mouth out, dries it off.
“It’s not exactly like she understands what I’m saying.”
"Not exactly the point, Y/N.” He returns to the bedroom, then walks to the recliner, grabs a hoodie, and puts it on as he approaches the bed. "These babies are my entire life, Y/N. You know that, so think what you will of me as a husband, lover, and partner, but don’t you ever talk about me like that to our children.”
She’s burping the baby now, patting her on the back. “The kids are your entire life? I get it. Performing is your first love. No room for me.” She pulls her bottom lip in with her teeth and stares at nothing, looking at anything but Harry. Her eyes water, holding onto her tears.
Harry walks to her side of the bed. “You know that’s not what I meant, baby.” He sits on the bed next to her, his voice calmer now.
“No, I get it, Harry. Trust me, I do. I wouldn't blame you if you stopped loving and wanting me. Furthermore, why would you want any of this? I mean, look at this whole thing, and then there’s me. I’m a mess.”
“I’m looking at you. I see you. What are you talking about? And I love this mess, and I love you.” He places his hand on her knee. He pushes his eyebrows together and searches her face.
“It’s over, Harry.”
“No.” He shakes his head. “You’re tired and frustrated, but that’s life. It’s not over.”
"It wasn't a question." She hands Lola to him and stands. She tugs at the bottom of her t-shirt, the shirt she borrowed from him when they were dating and never gave it back. It's faded and stretched out, a picture of One Direction but with the words Spice Girls written on it.
Harry says nothing and watches her. She walks to the closet, grumbles, and grunts, knocking about with a few curse words sprinkled in. Once she finds what she's looking for, she returns to the bedroom, drops a suitcase on the bed, and then unzips it.
"Y/N, baby, what are you doing?"
"I told you I'm leaving. You didn't think taking the kids to the zoo would stop that did you?"
“This is crazy. I’m gonna put Lola in her crib. I’ll be back.” Harry stands, walks across the room, and exits.
A few moments later, he returns. She removes clothes from the dresser. Harry approaches her and places his hand on her elbow. "Baby, let's talk about this. You can leave me, in theory, until we can figure something out, but you can't just walk out on the kids."
She shrugs him off her. “Don’t touch me. There is nothing to figure out, not between us. As for the kids, of course, I'm not leaving them forever, don't be so dramatic, but I am leaving for now."
She goes to the bathroom. Harry can hear her gathering items from the vanity. He sits on the bed, dropping his head in his hands, then lifts his head resting his fingers tips under his chin. He stares at two crayons on the floor under the dresser. He makes that his sole focus, unable to look at her when Y/N returns and tosses the cosmetics bag into the suitcase. She huffs and sighs.
“I might not help as much as I should. I get it, but this, this is one time I’m not lifting a finger to help you. So you can cut the sound effects.”
There’s a soft knock at the door before the handle turns, and small hands push the door open. “Daddy, are we going to the zoo?”
Tears have started to roll down Harry’s cheeks. He wipes his face and sniffs before Poppy comes in. “Yes, baby girl, but give Daddy a minute. Go play nice in your room. I’ll come to get you when it’s time. And Poppy, please wait to be invited in before opening the door. You know the rules.”
“Okay.” Satisfied, she pulls the door closed.
"You see that, Y/N. Our kids need us. Our kids know when something's wrong. They heard our shouting earlier. We can't do this around them." He stands and walks over to her. "Listen, let me call Mitch and Sarah, and see if they can take them for the night, yeah? Or Jeff and Glenne might not mind, then we'll get dressed, go have a nice dinner, come home, and relax, just the two of us.”
“Why so you can get laid, Harry?”
"Y/N, where is all of this coming from? That's the second time you've remarked that I’m somehow this sex-crazed maniac that has to jump through hoops to trick his wife into having sex with him, yet you also say there is no way I could still want you.”
She shoves sneakers into the suitcase. “Oh, believe me, I know you can find someone to have sex with, no doubt about that." She shakes her head and smirks. "Never had any problem getting that, did you?"
“What is wrong with you? Do you think I’ve been with someone else? Is that what’s got you like this?”
She continues throwing things in the suitcase, then zips it up. She returns to the closet, retrieves another bag, unzips it, kicks it along the floor, and continues packing. “I told you. I can’t do it anymore. I’m tired. I’m forgetful because I’m overwhelmed. Important things aren’t given their proper attention. I mess up more often than I will admit. This isn’t good.”
“If this is about going out of town on that girls’ trip, then go.” He extends his foot and closes the top of the luggage. “Have fun. Go, but don’t ruin our family just because you weren’t getting your way.”
“Fuck you, Harry. Because I wasn’t getting my way? It’s not that. It’s that it’s always about you. Always. It’s when are you leaving, when are you coming back, coming in late from the studio, FaceTiming at 3 AM just so I can see you and hear your voice, important events, meetings, everything is about you, and I'm sick of it. You know you're the one that wanted a third baby, or hell, a second baby, for that matter. I was happy when it was just the three of us, all traveling together, but you wanted a larger family, and as usual, I wanted to give you what you wanted.”
He stands next to her, reaches over and takes her face in his hands, and turns her toward him. He sees her face, but she’s a stranger. He hadn’t noticed the new lines between her eyebrows, the dark circles under her eyes, or the sallow shade of her skin. “Tell me you don't regret Poppy and Lola. Please tell me you don't regret those two perfect little girls. Because I love you, Y/N, but if you tell me you regret them, I can't forgive you. Ever.”
She pulls away. "I do regret the timing. I should've insisted you take a multi-year hiatus before expanding our family because I made my life worse to make your life better."
He drops his hands from her and walks across the room to the window, which overlooks the expansive garden below. “Worse? How could anything about those babies make your life worse? Take it back before I say something that can’t be unsaid.” You knew what you were signing up for, Y/N. You knew the life I live and how hard it would be, but you said ‘I do’, you agreed this was the life we would live,” he says.
“You don’t see that even then, it was about you. It was what I agreed to, but what about me? What did you agree to do for me? What sacrifices were you willing to make? I gave up my career, so I could give you a home, take care of the kids, and always be available to support you in anything you needed me to support you in, travel with you." Sitting on the bed, she shoves her legs into her denim flares and stands. She walks over to the dresser and retrieves a black sports bra.
Harry turns to her. "Okay, what do you need? What do you need my support with? Besides the house, the kids? What is it that you’re missing?
She removes her t-shirt and puts on the bra. "Everything."
“You've got to give me specifics, love. Have to help me here, at least with this. I can't read minds, baby. Believe me, if I could, this wouldn't be happening." He walks to her.
She pulls on a lightweight black sweater. "I need you to know me, Harry.” She goes back to the luggage, bends down, and zips closed the second bag. “I needed you to pay attention, to see that I’m drowning here.”
"Okay. We'll have the maid come more days during the week, and we'll get a sitter, nanny, or whatever will make life easier for you. After the three nights in Manchester, I'll devote my time to you. But I have a contract I have to do these nights in Manchester, besides it’s kind of home. We can stay at Mum’s. All of us go together.”
“It’s not just about the housework or the kids. And I don’t want to follow you to Manchester. I need you. I need a husband, a partner, not a sugar daddy who keeps knocking me up.”
“Oh, get off it. Lola's over a year old, and never do I push you for sex, not ever.”
“Whatever.” She pulls the two suitcases upright, rolls them to the door, exits, walks down the hall, and passes the three bedrooms along the corridor. She can't stop, or she'll never go; if she stays, she'll make things worse. She knows she's on the brink of breaking completely.
Harry is behind her.
They make it to the front door, and she slides her feet into her loafers. As she opens the door, she turns to him. "Everything you need to know about your kids is in a folder on my desk in the office. There’s frozen milk in the fridge.”
He reaches out, but she shakes her head. “Don’t.” She snatches her purse from the hook by the front door.
"Y/N, please, baby."
"Goodbye, Harry." With that, she steps out, dragging the luggage behind her. She doesn't look back.
#harry styles x y/n#harry styles x you#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles x reader#harry styles blurb#harry styles angst#harry styles fic#harry styles new
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