#The kinky Grasshopper

[urpalelle]

my dad just said

my deputy is training my grasshoppers to be very anal

as if i’m supposed to know what he’s talking about

[noah-andrews]

[PM] True. True. I just a tiny little grasshopper boy.

[PM] Ewww that sounded vaguely kinky or something. Please pretend you didn't read that. In the meantime I'm going to go bleach my keyboard.

[PM] You should still be knee-high to a grasshopper, at least until you turn 6.

[chloca-cola]

Bear Witness Chap 3

Oh poor Leon when will stop torturing you???

TW: Swearing, that's all

Pairings: LeonxReader

Word count: 1,173

~~~~~~~~

"Even though what you did for me the other day was touching, I'm still gonna utilize this." Leon stated, tapping the GPS device on your ankle as you pouted, arms folded over your chest tightly, very sullen that you're basically a prisoner now. 

      "I do not like Miss Hunnigan." You stated, puffing a strand of your hair from your face, jaw set in annoyance, feeling completely betrayed by someone you didn't even know. Leon chuckled, finally feeling like he may have the upper hand here for once, and he plopped his ass next to you on the couch, holding his phone up at eye level to you.

       "See that little blinking dot," he asked, pointing at the screen, smiling deviously at you, talking to you as if you were a five year old. "That's you (y/n). I will know your every move now." You huffed, looking away from the phone, tightening your crossed arms to your chest more.

       "Even though that sounds kinky, I'm mad at you too, Agent Kennedy." Leon just laughed, patting your shoulder, leaning forward to pick up the remote, tossing his phone onto the coffee table.

        "You'll get over it, Princess." Was he reply as he began to channel surf, and you reluctantly looked at the screen out of the corner of your eye, not wanting to give in so easily, but he paused on your favorite movie that you hadn't seen in years. An internal war raged inside you, but you quickly snatched the remote from him to keep him from changing the channel. You pulled a throw pillow onto your lap and hugged it to your chest, as you nestled into the couch more.

         "This is such a great movie. I think you'll appreciate it, my dude." Leon smiled at you, also nestling down into the couch, reaching out, he tapped the back of your hand gently to get your attention, his fingers lingering on your skin.

         "Told ya you'd get over it." He teased and you gave him a playful smile, shrugging.

         "What can I say, Leon? It seems I can't stay mad at you. Unless, of course, you don't pay attention to the damn movie!" You say sternly, poking his cheek and turning his face to the TV screen. You smile at him as he watched the movie, seeming to be getting into it. You couldn't lie to yourself anymore, you felt feelings budding for Leon. You'd been cooped up in this swanky condo for a handful of days now, and the fact that he hadn't asked to be reassigned really made you like him. Perkins had been in the room with you for 10 minutes and had given up.

         Here Leon is, watching a movie with you, starting to tease you back which you absolutely adored, and a warm fuzzy feeling pooled in your stomach.

         "You're missing the movie." You hadn't even realized Leon was now looking at you and you blushed, turning your attention to the TV, sinking down into the couch, hoping you could disappear. 

         Leon stretched as the credits rolled and turned his face to you to admit that it had been a great movie to see you were fast asleep. You looked so peaceful, face completely relaxed and he couldn't help but wonder if everyone looked so much younger when they're asleep. Hesitantly, not wanting to wake you, he gently ran his fingers through your hair, brushing it back from your face. You stirred and he froze, but all you did was leaned over on him, nuzzling into his bicep, humming contentedly.

          He continued to watch you sleep, not daring to move in fear he would wake you up, when his phone vibrates violently on the coffee table, scaring you awake and you sat up quickly.

         "I gotta take this, sorry." Leon mumbled, leaving the room to take the call, hoping you would just drift back off to sleep. "What's up Hunnigan?"

        "Alan Reicherman still hasn't been located, Leon. He wasn't where he last known location was and he hasn't resurfaced yet." Leon grunted, sitting down on the edge of his bed. "How did (y/n) like her new ankle bracelet?" Hinnigan quipped and Leon got a soft smile on his face, his shoulders relaxing as he remembers the pouty look you were giving him earlier.

        "She was pretty upset." Hunnigan blinked, cocking her head, her eyebrow quirked. 

        "Leon...you're not...getting feelings for her, are you?" His face flushed red and he shook his head.

         "W-what?" He sputtered indignantly, clearly flustered by Hunnigan's question. "Why would you think that?" She sighed softly, adjusting her glasses. 

         "Leon...you can't-"

         "And I'm not, problem solved, Hunnigan." He answered a little more convincingly than before. She released a resigned sigh, not completely sure he was telling the truth, never having seen him smile so warmly at a memory.

       "Ok Leon." She conceded. "I'll call you as soon as I get more information." She disconnected the call, and Leon hung his head, his hands dangling between his legs, his elbows resting on his thighs.

        "Hunnigan doesn't miss anything. That's annoying too." He mumbled to himself, before dragging himself off the bed to check on you in the living room, and of course; you weren't there. "Son of a bitch!" Leon cursed loudly, moving to the kitchen to see if you were sitting on the floor again, but no, you weren't there either. "(Y/n) you better just be messing with me right now!" He listened for laughter, still nothing.

       He unlocked the screen of his phone and pulled up the GPS locator and seen your blinking light in the park across the street from the condo. He grabbed his jacket and keys to the door and ran out of the room.

        Leon followed the trail to where the GPS showed you to be, but upon arriving at the bench next to the scenic little pond, you weren't there either. He scratched his head, turning in a circle to see if you were hiding anywhere.

       "This thing busted?" He asked himself, tapping the screen, when a soft honking sound came from behind him. He turned to see a goose with the ankle monitor in his beak. He blinked, before chuckling softly, closing his eyes and shaking his head. He doesn't even know where to begin to figure out how you got it off of your leg. "But where have you gone, (y/n)?" He inquired, anxiety filling the pit of his stomach. He knows that Alan could be anywhere right now.

        Leon took a step closer to the foul, who honked more angrily at him, and Leon held up his hands in a placating manner.

         "I just want that thing in your mouth. God, I'm talking to a damn bird." He then just reached out his hand to take it from the goose, another angrier honk and the goose charged at him. Leon let out a yelping noise, turned and started running.

~~~

         Leon slammed open the door leading to your shared condo, face covered in dirt, his jacket also smeared with mud, hair a mess with leaves and twigs sticking out in random directions to find you sitting indian style on the couch, a wedge of quesadilla in your mouth. You swallow the laughter building in you as you looked him over. He glared at you as he reached up and pulled a single twig from his hair.

        "Hey, buddy, what happened to you?" You couldn't hide the humor in your tone as you sat the food back onto your plate.

        "How'd you get that ankle monitor off?" You grin at him, putting on your best 'wise sage' face.

        "Ahhh, young grasshopper. A master never tells." You reach out and pick up the drink on the table, holding it up towards him. "I got you this Baja Blast Freeze if it makes you feel better." Leon was still glaring as he picked more debris from his hair and trying to straighten it back out.

        "It doesn't." You roll your eyes at him, shaking the drink at him.

        "Come on, Leon, it's bomb ass, I swear. Just try it!" He lifted his eyes to the ceiling, sighing, placing his hands on his hips.

        "Fine." He finally agrees, coming to sit next to you on the couch, taking the drink and sipping it. He nodded approval, shrugging a shoulder. "Why don't you seem to be taking this seriously?" He finally asks and you hum in response. You swallowed your mouthful of food, looking at him with a serious expression, your guard finally down and he could see the real fear in them now.

         "I'm scared, ok, Leon? I really am. I can't just let darkness close in on me. I want to live, not hide away. Alan...he was using my blood to test out his fucking viruses. I...just want to feel normal again. I get to do that with you…" He looked away from you, mulling over your words.

        "Is it easy?" His voice was quiet, and you could see that he was looking back into his own past, at something you knew nothing about. You reach out and brush his mop of bands from his face, pulling out a leaf he missed.

        "Nothing ever is." You answered honestly, giving him a weak smile when he looked back at you. "Helps when your protector looks hot as fuck too." You compliment, trying to lighten the mood again. Leon eyes studied yours, feeling like he was trying to stare into your soul. You both leaned towards each other, your heartbeat was quickening the closer you got to his lips.

        His breath was warm as it fanned over your mouth, his lips brushing against yours, and his phone rang, causing you both to jump back away from one another. 

        "Yes, Hunnigan?" Leon answered gruffly, and you waved as you took another bite of your dinner.

        "I just got your message about needing another monitor?" You giggled at her confused expression, and even Leon chuckled. 

         "Yeah, uh, a goose took the other one." 

         "A. Goose. Took. The. Other. One." She repeated each word slowly, her face a mixture of confusion and aggravation. She removed her glasses, pinching the bridge of her nose, and Leon nodded.

        "But, don't worry about the monitor. It didn't work the first time, I'm not trying it again." She replaced her glasses, pushing them up the bridge of her nose with her index finger.

        "You know, Leon...I think it's easier to deal with bioterrorism. And I'm sending another one." She states, causing you both to laugh, as she ended the call. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

@mitsuintheworks @kezikatescribbling @imagineleonkennedy @disneymarina @locus-desperatus @nthevalkyrie

[laughing-with-god]

BNHA Crackhead Theory Part Two

I guess I must miss school or something because I suddenly got an urge to write an argumentative paper for no reason at all.  But, I would like to organize my thoughts and hopefully convince a few people that there is some smidgen of truth in my little crackhead theory so please give a read if you’re interested.

(I want to be a Psychologist one day so I’m mostly looking into the subconscious and emotional aspect of this theory.  Not a lot of actions will be used as evidence, I will raise more questions than answers because this theory is not one that can be proven or disproven.  In layman’s terms- it’s just something to think about.)

(I very recently watched all of the anime and I haven’t read the manga.  I don’t think it’s that big of a difference because I’m not trying to uncover something huge in the plotline, I’m focusing more on character development.) 

When I first watched My Hero Academia, I couldn’t help but be baffled at the infatuation Izuku Midoriya had for Katsuki Bakugo.  Why would he keep reaching out to the same boy who has bullied him and degraded his dreams? Midorya kept trailing after him even though everything about a childs’ development says that Midoriya should’ve avoided anyone and everything that didn’t make him feel comfortable, accepted and safe.

The easy and most accepted answer?  Deku is a good person who sees the best in everyone and simply admired Katsuki for his amazing quirk.

A Pysh student’s answer?

Midoriya unknowingly seeks out powerful yet emotionally unavailable men who will most likely hurt and/or leave him.  

Why?

I speak as a fatherless girl who suffered through her own fair share of Bakugo’s, and I say this with all of my chest; IZUKU HAS DADDY ISSUES.  

EVIDENCE (lmao if you can call it that)

-Izuku’s father had the quirk of breathing fire. 

This may not be an awfully useful quirk, unless you’re in constant need of a fire, but it was most likely a very flashy and cool thing to see in action.  Who else do we know has a flashy and obnoxious fire based quirk?  

Could it be that Katsuki was a subconscious reminder to Izuku of his absent father?  

It’s a long stretch but psychology tells us that we tend to crave the familiar when dealing with a neglectful presence in our childhood.  Example; someone who dealt with a verbally abusive mother might find themselves gravitating towards females who hold similar traits. Izuku probably doesn’t know much about his father as a person (personality wise) so it makes sense for him to subconsciously find himself attaching to his dad’s quirk (one of the few things he knew about him) and projecting it onto Katsuki when he developed his.  

-Age, Stature and Dominance

According to my research, which could totally be wrong, Katsuki is slightly older than Izuku.  Katsuki is also bigger than him and had an ‘alpha dog’ popularity during their childhood. Now, it’s totally normal for a dynamic to form amongst youth that will make some kids more popular than others.  But Izuku’s tendency to follow Katsuki is perhaps deeper than that. People with daddy issues tend to like older and more dominant men that fit the stigma of what a ‘man’ is. Ie; strong, self-assured and approved by everyone around them.  Even as a kid, Bakugo had nearly everyone eating out of the palm of his hand. So what’s the difference between the other boys who followed Katsuki and Deku?  

Well, Deku had nothing to gain from following Katsuki around.

He was always getting made fun of by him or being made to carry the things the other boys didn’t want to.  So while the other boys felt like they were in the ‘it’ crowd by being allowed to hang out with Katsuki, Izuku had no feeling of acceptance that usually is the driving force in peer groups.  So why did he follow him around so much?  

Acceptance.

Izuku projected his need for acceptance by an older and powerful male onto Katsuki and worked for it helplessly despite his wounded feelings.  This can also explain why Deku was quick to try to save Katsuki (when he fell into the pond thingy and with the sludge monster) because part of him was terrified of losing yet another strong male figure.  Although this is a weak piece of evidence given Deku tries to save everyone lololol.  

Side note- I don’t wanna see “Well katsuki isn’t that much older than Deku.”  because the truth is, a drastic age difference isn’t needed for the dynamic to take effect.  

-”But Chinkbihh, aren’t they too young in these examples for you to argue that it’s daddy issues?”  

Well my little grasshopper, to that I say bullshit.  The stigma of daddy issues is people immediately assume that it’s about romantic, taboo and even kinky relationships that fatherless little girls grow up into.  It’s more than that. Losing a parent is a very traumatic thing and can scar a kid for life. Symptoms show very early in kids because at that time of their lives, it was a very recent thing that happened to them.  Not to mention, when kids first attend school and have to hear about other kids’ dads it can open the wound and cause more symptoms to occur.  

-Symptoms of Daddy Issues

*Enabling narcissistic and sometimes abusive men in your life

*Clinging onto male figures you know aren’t good for you.

*Being attracted to men who hold similar attributes as the missing father 

*Constantly seeking validation that you are good enough for said male.  

-End Notes

This is more based off the early years of Katsuki and Deku.  Obviously when a positive male figure like All Might came to help Izuku then his need for validation shifted.  However, I saw so much of myself within Izuku always following Bakugo that I had to step back and think for a moment.  I don’t think it’s something that the author intended to happen, but I do see a trace of it so I thought it was worth mentioning.  Well....it’s still more believable than some of these traitor theories I’m seeing lmao. As I stated before, It’s a crackhead theory so you don’t have to blow up my inbox bc trust me I know this is trash

[gecko-chann]

Tag game

(I just want to warn you: tumblr deleted my previous post when it was almost done, cry with me)

I want to thank @notquitewitches for the nomination and the academy for the oscar (?)

Do you make your bed? -> Yes and everytime I want to die because I have a loft bed (letto a soppalco in Italian) çç

What's your favourite number? -> It used to be 6, but now I don't have a favourite one

What is your dream job? -> Dubber/voice actress or I'd love to work in a library, book/comic shop etc

If you could go back to school, would you? -> If you are going to send me back in time and you warn my teachers that no, I'm not lazy, I just have dyslexia, I'd love to! I love learn things! Otherwise no

Can you parallel park? -> Yup

A job you had that would surprise people? -> None is relevant in this case, sorry

Do you think aliens are real? -> Due to all the scientific and philosophical studies that have been done, yes

Can you drive manual? -> I can ONLY drive manual: I live in Italy in the fucking mountains I HAVE TO SURVIVE

What's your guilty pleasure? -> Potato chips

Tattoos? -> None so far

Favourite colour? -> All shapes of blue, carta da zucchero (I don't know how it's translated in English) and any pastel colour

Favourite type of music? -> Rock and similar

Things people do that drive you crazy? -> It's the longest list ever, I'm not even entent to start

Do you like doing puzzles? -> Not a lot

Any phobias? -> Sooo many! Claustrophobia, I'm afraid of dark, praying mantis, grasshoppers, I have social anxiety so imagine me in claustrophobic crouded space D: and probably others I don't recall

Favourite childhood sport? -> Gymnastics artistic (I still do it after almost 17 years <3)

Do you talk to yourself? -> Yes, it's pretty helpful when you have to learn a language! Also I'm like those grannies who talk while they do things, but instead of simply talk I sing

What movie do you adore? -> Rocky Horror Picture Show, Kinky Boots, Hercules (the Disney one), Emperor's New Groove, The Road to El Dorado and others

Coffee or tea? -> Tea

First thing you wanted to be when you grew up? -> Steve Irwin *cries in the corner*

Well...I tag my bff @giulia-liddell because I know her new fans want to know things about her 😉 (and these are not very personal questions like "where do you live precisely" or similar), @zibaldone-di-foto-e-pensieri and anyone who wants to join this nice tag

Enjoy c:

[kodachis-nailart]

Scofflaw - Kampf den Ungetragenen Lacken #1

Ich versuche ja den Ungetragenen Lacken Herr zu werden. Hier mal ein Schwung meiner Scofflaw Lacke :)

Wer kennt das nicht – so als Lack Junkie (zumindest bei mir) man hat eine nicht unerhebliche Menge Lacke da und will ja gerne lackieren und alles – aber naja. Und weil es einen Restock von Scofflaw gibt hab ich das mal dazu genutzt durch meine Sammlung zu stöbern welche der Lacke in meiner Datenbank noch nicht als benutzt markiert sind. Und dann hab ich mich ans Werk gemacht. Und bevor ich jetzt…

[sunaddicted]

I almost wanted to say all of them but I'll be selective and pick #2 :p (pick whatever pairing you're most inspired for it

Oswald didn't even glance away from the spectacle unfolding on the ground floor of the Lounge as he heard his bodyguards pat someone down, admiring the glittering swirling of the evening gowns and the silky gleaming of suits tailored to conceal rather than exalt - it was a sight as decadent as the crystal tables weighted down by bottles of freezing fizzy champagne and fresh oysters shining wetly like organs nestled in the ice, their pale flesh put even in starker relief by the grapples of caviar spilling from tins branded in Russian and chocolate truffles wrapped up in edible gold leaves. Everything was outrageously expensive, obscene if one thought about the endemic poverty that plagued neighbourhoods like the Narrows. Oswald didn't particularly care: he could afford it and, most importantly, the clientele he catered to could afford it. Besides, he did his part: he regularly donated money to Lee's underground clinic and while he did it because he himself and the rest of the Rogues went to her whenever they were hurt, nobody needed to know. "That's not your usual drink of choice" Oswald briefly glanced at the startlingly green grasshopper in his hand, wrinkling his nose at its tossic-waste shade "No, it's not" he admitted, taking a short sip. Mint. Disgusting. He didn't really know why he tortured himself that way."It's Ed's favourite, isn't it?" Jim hummed, settling next to him. That statement didn't particularly surprise Oswald: if Gotham's finest couldn't even guess Edward's favourite drink after decades - especially considering that the Riddler didn't make a mystery out of the fact that he drank it only because it was green and it paired well with his outfit - Oswald would have been a little more than worried for the state of the GCPD "Indeed" "Where is he?" Jim inquired, looking around; he almost expected him to emerge from Oswald's office - maybe straightening his tie after a rushed intimate encounter with the Penguin or with his eyes burning after going over the Lounge books - or suddenly appear out of the shadows of the stage on the raised dais, ready to entertain and terrify the crowd with his riddles. Not that Jim had ever been particularly entertained by the riddles - he had always just found them annoying, especially when they had worked together and he had needed a speedy answer, the weight of lives in peril straining his shoulders. "He's dead, again" Oswald didn't even bother to try to hide the irritation in his voice: as soon as Hugo Strange brought his lover back to life, Oswald was going to relegate him to the couch and Edward would have to grovel and sweat if he wanted to be allowed back in their bed - he understood that death barely was a concern any longer in Gotham but Edward didn't have to make an hobby out of it, did he?Jim heaved a mental sigh of relief: the Riddler wouldn't be a problem for a while, at least for a couple of weeks "I trust that he'll be with us again shortly"Oswald turned around to face his unexpected guest and leant back against the banister, shifting his body weight on his good leg, face muscles steeled to try and avoid showing the twinge of pain that had just ran up his spine. He had no time to waste in chit-chat "What can I do for you, Jim?" Jim shrugged "Can't I visit an old friend?""We both know you don't really do social calls""True" Oswald waited for Jim to elaborate but the other man just accepted the flûte of champagne that was offered him and took an healthy sip: it was serious, then; Jim almost never accepted anything to drink a the Lounge, always claiming that he technically was working "What is it? Information?"Him shrugged "No" "Just drowning your sorrows?"A twitch of a muscle. Tell-telling. Damning. "Who is it?""Harvey"Oswald arched an eyebrow - not a totally unexpected development but Jim admitting to it was kind of... momentous "Trouble in paradise?" "I could ask you the same"He chuckled and tossed back the last of his grasshopper, a barely disguised noise of disgust trapped in his throat and fingers already snapping in a silent request for something more congenial to his palette - a glass of thick red wine, syrupy down his throat "Oh, believe me, Edward is in for a whipping""So is Harvey" Jim grinned, mischievous "Literally""Kinky" Oswald chuckled "I'll drink to that"

[ao3feed-gallavich]

if that ain't love, then i don't know what love is

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/l3yFNp8

by jinlin5

With the hand that’s not resting over the growing tent in his jeans, Mickey reaches down abruptly and grabs Ian’s face, squeezing his jaw and cheeks tightly between his thumb and fingers. Ian’s heart jumps like a grasshopper into his throat, and his dick swells against the crotch of his briefs. “Boots. Off.” Mickey grunts through bared teeth. “And you better look at me while you do it too. Understand?”

Words: 4248, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Series: Part 26 of Husbands and Shit, Part 29 of Smut, smut, and more smut, Part 7 of the way we get by (post s11)

Fandoms: Shameless (US)

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Ian Gallagher, Mickey Milkovich

Relationships: Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich, Ian Gallagher & Mickey Milkovich

Additional Tags: Smut, Fluff and Smut, Post-Canon, Post-Season/Series 11, Married Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich, Domestic Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich, Dom/sub, Top Ian Gallagher, Submissive Ian Gallagher, Dominant Mickey Milkovich, Power Bottom Mickey Milkovich, Power Play, Rough Sex, Choking, Breathplay, Verbal Humiliation, Dacryphilia, Riding, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Kinky, Dirty Talk, Spit As Lube, Hair-pulling, Topping from the Bottom, Bottoming from the Top, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Ian Gallagher Loves Mickey Milkovich, Mickey Milkovich Loves Ian Gallagher, Porn with Feelings

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/l3yFNp8

[ramenfallsbutnotudon]

3% Season 1 Episode 1 Re-watch (w/ spoiler commentary)

(by spoiler commentary I mean my stream of consciousness watching and thinking about the entire 2 season series)

·         I didn’t realize how prevalent Marco was in the beginning. We see him walking behind Michele and even leaving his home’s caretaker (?) with the note for his son.

·         Michele seems to have just been waiting for this day. She gratified her walls to keep track of time like a mock calendar, and of course the photo of Andre (her brother).

·         I didn’t notice the wooden-faced man (forgot his name) seen her pass in the window on the way to the procession.

·         Ivana, The wooden faced man, and I’m assuming the other dude (the one who works with Joana in S2) ((Silas??) are in that La Causa meeting – along with another I can’t recognize or remember right now.

·         Joana speaks to Rafael because his registration is fake. We find out hers is as well. Although hers is “official” so to speak, maybe she wanted to see if it worked.

·         Homegirl really did take that kiwi from Rafael’s bloody hand.

·         Rafael was willing to do anything to pass (steal the cube) because he knows this is his only chance after stealing his brother’s registration and failing La Causa the first time. This also seemed to resonate with Joana, since we know why she can’t “go home” and who she’s running from.

·         They think the fruit is too sweet because they have no goddamn fruit everything is on the offshore. Could also be an analogy for the pretty, sweet appearance of the off shore. Like it’s too good to be true.

·         Bruna was shown La Causa’s symbol and asked about her opinions of them. This should be some sort of foreshadowing. Also Bruna’s little sister standing alone with three other girls, and the camera dramatically panning to her leaving up the stairs – going to a place her sister and family can no longer reach. (RIP girl)

·         Did Michele help Fernando because it was a part of her cover, or because she actually wanted to help him? She grabbed that necklace in the beginning and also seen the wooden faced man, so it’s safe to assume the moment she stepped out of her house she was in anarchy mode. If Fernando hadn’t helped her, she would have been eliminated. Interesting the two moles both couldn’t pass the test, but one relied on himself and the other outside help. This mirrors the s2 ending where Rafael is alone trying to help himself and repair things with his girlfriend Elisa, and Michele is asking Fernando for help.

·         Fernando really does hate his father. My first time watching this series, until his dad double crossed him I thought maybe he was exaggerating. But he really does detest him and doesn’t want to be like him. He also mentions something about wanting his mobility back, but we know that’s a lie because he’s comfortable in his wheelchair. Unless, he did feel that way but after his elimination those feelings also went away. Or maybe it was when he was told he could walk again and confided in Michele? Either way, this is something to look out for.

·         Marco really isn’t shit. I knew this my first watch, but seeing him again lie and (seemingly) flirt with the interviewer just re-affirms that. Then bragging about how he is an Alvarez to Agata. Then decided to play “good guy” and breakup the mob that was attacking Rafael. Again, interesting that they have this parallel again but instead Rafael is trying to stop Marco from harming people.

·         Joana is an absolute fucking genius, I mean can we just give it up for her? She was my favorite, along with Rafael and Fernando being a close third.  11 cubes? Seeing through everyone’s bullshit but not getting involved? Catching Ezequiel’s eye early on?

·         Speaking of Ezequiel, during his speech he looked up to where Julia used to stand. He also did some jedi mind fuckery with speaking to certain candidates. Still not sure how he pulled that off.

·         Michele, like Gloria in s2, does not repeat Ezequiel’s mantra the first time he has everyone else repeat it.

·         Vape Goddess™ Aline was serving looks and being sexy as all hell. Even dare I say, a bit intimidating? She really got Ezequiel good about his wife’s suicide, would have loved to have seen the outcome of that before he was interrupted.

·         Of course, Ezequiel enjoys half drowning himself because it reminds him of his dead wife who soothed him with water and sensatory manipulation. His stress triggers him to resort to that.

·         The murder had just taken place where Andre murdered someone after finding out the truth of the founding trio.

·         Also before the process began, we saw some religious founding couple fanatics praying outside. I think Fernando rolled by and gave them dirty looks.

·         I forgot how tiny the offshore really is. 4,000 miles away by submarine.

·         They hyped the hell out of the Alexandre character by showing him, his interview, and his suicide. I thought he was going to be one of the main crew during my first watch, but I see it’s just an early on way to show what the process does to people. And hits at the “coping methods” (i.e. have a fuck ton of kids for our sterile island of passive-aggressive hell). I think he would have passed if he just shut the fuck up when the lady was smiling.

·         Did I already mention that Ezequiel has a hard on for Joana and that he probably knew who Michele was as soon as she was passed and got the mole news?

·         Joana is great.

·         Its funny Ezekiel called Denise in to talk to her and decided to drown her and she thanks him. I know Aline is appalled, and I don’t know if that was some sort of dog and pony show he was putting on – but can we talk about how toxic that water dunk has become? It was initially sensual and calming, but mixed with E’s feelings of grief and his slim grip on shifting power paradigms, it’s turned into something terrifying. Forcibly shutting out the world – silence – but also a sort of sick rebirth for those he manipulates. I think of Michele a lot writing this bullet point and her s2 relationship with water after Joana tells E to go fuck himself and Michele becomes the protégée.

·         “I do this every day to remind myself that what we do is a matter of life and death” so maybe it is also to bury feelings of guilt, shame and inadequacy – the voluntary near death drowning in a glass sink thing.

·         “Thank you for almost drowning me, I loved it. I’ve learned so much, you’re such a great mentor”  “You’re welcome, young grasshopper” as Aline looks on disgusted lmao.

·         I bet Ezequiel is into some really kinky shit since his wife died. Maybe bondage. He seems the type.

·         Oh, fuck off Cassia.

·         I love how the snake Michele already knows what’s up when they call her and Bruna away. I could point out that there were other people at that table and Fernando couldn’t have been the only one who was around, but then again he might have been the only one who cared. Although the candidates are a small bunch, they seem to have their own cliques and groups. And Michele and Fernando became friends in the cube test.

·         Michele also mentions that she’s sorry for talking shit about the process and/or a candidate. Does she know that they record everything? They are constantly being surveilled? Or most likely, it is a part of her act.

·         Michele put her head down, got her lies together and started the spin of lies for Bruna. The rare snake Michele is born.

·         “…Bruna, please” I felt like this was more of a “please lie for me/cover for me” and not a “please believe me”.

·         SHE SAID “TRUST ME, OKAY?” before getting her best friend killed. Is that not what she told Fernando at the end of s2? This snake is a work of art. In a bad way.

·         In the Michele flashback where the wooden man is coaching her, it reminds me of the scene when Rafael meets Elisa. The computers didn’t pick up in their personality analysis that Michele was lying. Elisa and Rafael were not compatible. Can the machines only pick up certain personality types and not deviants? Do they rely on honesty? Because Marco lied through his teeth, Michele lied through her teeth, Rafael lied through his teeth…Does this have something to do with the Founding Trio or a modification by the Founding Couple?

·         Of course the old man wisely advises Michele to stay away from his protégé Ezequiel. She should have listened too, we could have been spared the poison catastrophe later on.

·         I think she really is grieving Bruna’s death, but it’s interesting the conversation of “holding back tears” comes to her mind just before her actions. Like this is Michele now, crying and grieving before going back to the snake mole that she is 98% of the rest of her time there.

·         Can we talk about homegirl’s shoes though? Are those suede booties? ·         

Is this what Ezequiel has candidates running around in? lmao

·         Fernando stay away from the snake baby boy, she’s no good for you.

[punksqueer]

answer ALL of the crayola questions bitch I dare u 👀

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED, SON

Macaroni and Cheese: What makes you think of your childhood?honestly?? the smell of old spice products, dark cloud 2 (game), red hot chili peppers and sublime music

Spring Green: How do you relax when you’re stressed?I mean idk if I’d call this relaxing, but: chain smoke, destroy my fingers (oops), listen to music, use fidget toys, and go for a long-ass powerwalk

Asparagus: What’s an unpopular opinion you have?hamburger helper is absolutely disgusting.

Bittersweet: Has someone you loved ever hurt you?YEP

Eggplant: Explain your url and avatar.url: inspired by punks not dead and being dead insideavatar: me edgily using a cool snapchat filter when i was working at a motorbike shop

Outer Space: Do you ever feel like you’re an outcast from others?aha yes

Cotton Candy: What is your favorite dessert?b r o w n i e s

Freckle: Do you have any marks on your skin? How do you feel about them?many!! i have a stitch scar on my right hand middle finger from a garden shear accident, stretch marks, self harm scars, random scars from being a kid who wasn’t afraid to climb and occasionally fall out of trees n such, roughing around, uhhh, cat scratch scars from trying to bathe a cat who really didnt want to be bathed. also, acne scars. and once, i was 9 and dropped a large, heavy glass bowl on my foot. it permanently split the nail down one of my big toes down the middle. I like them all, really

Shocking Pink: Is there a trait that you have that others don’t expect from you?probably hyperempathy and kindness because of how I look

Robin’s Egg Blue: If you were an animal, which one do you think would you be?100% a possum

Granny Smith Apple: What’s something everyone else likes that you don’t?hamburger helper, apparently.

Dandelion: What’s a pet peeve of yours?when people are rudely dismissive of others’ feelings

Atomic Tangerine: What gets you motivated to do a difficult task? 3 cups of coffee and smokeWisteria: What’s your favorite thing about yourself?body hair, scars, piercings, and tattoos

Candy Apple: How do you think others view you?weird, awkward, or intimidating probably

Plum: Are you insecure about anything?me teeth, me lisp, and me awkward stance when around others

Sky Blue: Where do you feel the most at home?my college, my grandma’s, n my hometown (also, the forest ngl)

Tickle Me Pink: How do you try to cheer others up when they’re sad?memes, talkin’ it out, lettin them rant

Wild Strawberry: Do you care what others think about you?no often, but yes, sometimes

Glossy Grape: Recommend something to your followers.honestly, check out gravity falls if you’ve never watched it before

World Wide Web Yellow: What was the last thing you looked up?how to renew a passport

Shadow Blue: Do you have a darker side to you that most people are unaware of?i mean, idk what classifies as a darker side?? like does that mean kinky or something?? other than that, the only thing I got is that while majority of the time I’m outwardly chill and often un-bothered, there are few times in which (IRL) I completely lose my shit after being pushed too far and will be completely consumed by rage that has been built up for too long. verbal arguments, yelling, slamming things. I have a lot of repressed anger

Electric Lime: What genre of music do you listen to?punk, rock, grunge, that kind of stuff. though I listen to a lot of different things, I don’t feel like listing them all. really, im fine with anything except country

Night Owl: Describe a very interesting dream that you had.I recently dreamt that I broke my fucking phone and i was so upsetti

Cornflower: What do you think about the most?crippling anxiety, depression, what to do with and about my life, worries about politics, mental health, and financial struggles ¯\_(ツ)_/ ¯

Grasshopper Green: Describe the area where you live.quiet, family neighbourhood, close to a park and a soccer field, farmland in behind the housing

Misty Moss: Is there anything you regret?(in high school) staying at home and refusing to go out with friends, on dates, or on class trips (and other trips) that would have been fun (and paid for/taken care of) because I felt that I did not deserve them.

Tiny Toad Brown: Do you find beauty in something that people consider to be ugly or undesirable?that’s a hard yes. I frequently point out the beauty I see in people and things alike that other people dont

Sunny Side Up: Do you like waking up in the mornings, or would you rather sleep in?when Depression ™: sleepwhen not depression: E A R L Y

Kitten Gray: Do you have any pets? If so, describe them. 2 whole hairy bois raised from feral kittens I found outside, and a ball python

Rose Dust: Describe your aesthetic in five words or less.queer punk

Timberwolf: Do you give second chances when somebody has wronged you?oh fuck, I give people far too many chances

Freshly Squeezed: What excites you?FOOD, ANIMALS, THE FAIR

Firefly Red: What gives you purpose?ny existence is a “fuck you” to everyone who ever said I couldn’t.

Tiny Teapot Tan: Do you consider yourself to be attractive/cute?fuck yeah m8 im hot as fuck

Rain Drop Blue: Describe the weather outside.THERE BE A STORM BREWIN’

Sweet Pea Green: Do you have/want children?want.

Pussywillow: Do you like being around others, or do you like being alone?both??

Jack ‘O’ Lantern Orange: What’s your biggest fear and why? abandonment, dying alone

Baby Bunny Pink: Do you look young for your age, or do you look older than you are?I dunno really

Mystic Maroon: What confuses you, and why?people just, getting jobs and being able to work with like, no problem doing it?? like, ??? my anxiety, my crippling fear that I will inevitably fuck something up, my inability to take verbal criticism in social situations by people I dont know

Cosmic Cobalt: What’s your zodiac sign, and do you think it’s accurate?Aquarius, and yes.

Petal Pink: Describe your fashion sense as well as what you’re wearing right now.honestly my fashion sense is wild, and blue cargo shorts that came from mum’s work (she works at a provincial park) and ripped, grey tank top

Mountain Meadow: Do you like taking care of others, or do you prefer being care of?B O T H

Fuzzy Duckling Yellow: Is there something from childhood that you haven’t outgrown?sleeping with the stuffed animal my dad got me one Christmas when I was like 9

Brussel Sproutlet: Do you have any unhealthy habits?nail biting, picking at my fingers, chewing my lip, smoking, biting my oral piercings, not remembering to eat or drink solely because I simply forget and can’t feel that I’m hungry or thirsty

Razzle Dazzle Rose: Describe an ideal date.a nice lil cafe, or sittin by the fire and watching stars. alternatively, going for a drive to god knows where

Periwinkle: What’s something ordinary that has personal meaning to you?the handmade cards my friends and fam have given me for special occasions. like, it really means a lot when someone gives me something they’ve made

Mauvelous: Do you think you deserve a better life than you have now?eh, debatable?? I mean I certainly deserve to be able to afford basic needs and medications and such

Blueberry Blue: Do you get sad easily?y e a h

Purple Mountains Majesty: How does someone earn your respect?by literally just being someone who isnt and asshole honestly

[minty-frost]

So, i was at the kitchen, making cereal, because, you know, eating at 1 am is quirky, haha, #relatable. I went to the sink, and i felt like i stepped on something. I look down, and a GRASSHOPPER jumps away from me. And, instead of freaking out, because, well, i am terrified of grasshoppers, i just said: "I stepped on him... What a kinky bitch". I CALLED A GRASSHOPPER A KINKY BITCH!!!

[adorableadorer]

Friend’s first impression of Kakupuri characters

Adonis: an absolute brat tbh and they’re hella kinky

American Lemonade: fuck boy

Bellini: a soft boy, who’s probably secretly psychotic.

Blue Moon: that serious guy who’s probably into mythology or something like that

Caiprihina & Caiprioska: incest

Dirty Mother: a spooky boy

Emerald Mist: teacher my friend wants to fuck

Gimlet: probably plays the french horn or something gay like that.

Grasshopper: a lovely boy who probably watches too much porn for his own good

Jack Rose: a basic bitch tbh

Kamikaze: Edge boy, he hangs out at the mall to buy nothing: he just goes to the mall to stand

Kiss in the Dark: the new Dream Daddy character

Long Island Iced Tea: an average guy

Manhattan: fashion icon

Martini: edge boy who listens to obscure bands

Mistia Royal: a quiet soft boy who might be a little kinky

Moulin Rouge: they look like my brother’s band teacher that my friend wants to fuck

Pink Lady: a bitch lowkey

Salty Dog: your average energetic boy

Screw Driver: asshole

Seventh Heaven: HELLA EDGE BOY

Sidecar: thinks his shit music is better than your’s, and it’s not

Tequila Sunrise: a dick who sucks dicks

Tom Collins: fancy boy, don’t touch him unless you’re rich

White Lady: edgy guy who’ll fuck your man

Alaska: smol soft boy, runs a meme page

Alexander: edge so sharp you could slit your wrists

Gin Fizz: another edgy boy

Jeremy: the godfather

Mimosa: wants a good book and runs and coffee

Ojichan: KFC

Old Pal: a wild ride

[totallytubulargirl]

DOJO (Leo X Reader)

💙 Authors note: I hope you guys like this it's Smutty smut smut. There's no backstory it's just for the kinky lol You stood in the middle of the darkened dojo, a single light shown on your naked body, making your skin glow. A bright blue bandana was wrapped around your eyes, making you blind. You could hear chuckles swirling around you as Leonardo pounced encircling you in the shadows. You smiled, "Leoooooo," your voice echoed. "Come and plaaay." Your lips were perfectly pout, decorated in a red lipstick, false eyelashes whisped at your cheeks with eyeliner that was as precise as Leo's Katanas. You stood in a defensive stance, trying to prepare yourself for him. Deadly silence suddenly engulfed the room. You grinned as Leo pounced towards you. You ducked, balancing your weight on your fingertips as Leo tumbled back into the shadows. You couldn't see him, but you could hear him. "You've trained me better then that," You said, as the wind underneath his feet wooshed into your ears. "sensei." With that he jumped forward as you moved quickly to the right. "Don't let me start without you." Leo stepped into the light, naked. He jumped to the left, leaving enough space for you to use his shell as a spring board, launching you into the air behind him. You jumped just out of his reach, wiggling your butt teasingly. You escaped his grasp one more time before he captured you in his arms. "Don't be so cocky young grasshopper." He said as he picked you up. You could feel his scales flare underneath your skin as he gently laid you on the floor. You could feel his presence above you, his blue bandana still wrapped around your eyes. He placed his hands slightly above you, running them up and down your body. The tension was killing you, filling you with want and desire. You bit your lip, desperate to be touched, as Leo moved his hands to your thighs, pulling them apart as he brought his face closer to your center. His warm breath only centimeters away from your pussy. He blew a small, soft, stream of warm air onto you, making you gasp as the air hit all the right nerves at once. Leo softly pressed his thumb against your clit, moving it in circular motions. "So you like that?" He asked. Your hips had a mind of their own, bucking into the air whenever he touched the right spot. You clawed helplessly at the mats on the dojo floor. "Fuck yes." You whined. Leo grinned, leaning his face into you, and pressing his lips against your wet folds. You cringed, trying to rip the mats apart as pleasure tore through your body. You couldn't possibly tell what he was going to do next, and it was driving you insane. Your ears and your face began to heat up, like all the heat of your friction was going to your head. You remained paralyzed against Leo's tongue, only able to focus on not screaming in bliss. Leonardo's hands began to wander from your hips, and up your stomach, finally finding your breasts. He pushed his hands against them as he continued to moan into her, licking and manipulating her clit as he pleased. Your face felt hotter and hotter, as adrenaline rushed through your veins. "Leo." You moaned. You tried to give him some sort of signal that you were almost there, but words failed you, as heat plagued your body. Leonardo continued, craving your scent, desperate to flood his nostrils with your essence. You came onto Leo's face, A cool wave of relief finally crashed over you, as Leo pulled away. "I win." He taunted, hovering above you. "There's always next time." You said, pausing between every word to catch your breath. "Yeah and I'll win then too."

[olderthannetfic]

Escapade 2017 Con Report

I gave @rhaegalks​ a lift, came home, and flopped on my bed for a few hours. It turns out that a gross head cold plus a ton of parties plus the hotel’s alarm going off at like 7am is not good for my ability to be upright and functional. Zzzzz.

This year, we were in a new and fabulous hotel. Let’s hope we can afford it next year too. (Check out Escapade’s crowdfunding campaign.) The rooms are big, with an excellent fold-out couch in the outer room and two TVs: it’s the perfect set up for room parties.

Not that I had any of those this year. I was too busy helping with the Friday night dance party and hosting the Saturday night after party in the con suite. I would have thought that the hotel’s layout made sound travel, but we had no security issues, so I guess the sound proofing is better than I thought or we just weren’t that loud.

Booze and food:

What? You don’t think those are the most important parts of a party?

The hotel has happy hour every day. All the ehhh wine or basic mixed drinks you can cram down from 5:30 to 7:30. I didn’t eat at the hotel restaurant; reportedly, the burgers were dry. The old hotel is just across the street, and its restaurant is very good, if overpriced. I brought some real food for the con suite. I wish I’d been able to do more. Maybe next year, a few more of us can bring entree type offerings. I love how BASCon let you just eat lunch out of the con suite to keep things cheap. (RIP, BASCon. ;__;)

Friday, there were three specialty cocktails served by the hotel bartender. Vodka (ew), more vodka (ew), and a specialty margarita (pretty good for a bar at a hotel event). The hors d’oeuvres were great: little egg rolls and beef skewers.

Saturday, a bunch of us went out for swanky Mexican a short drive away. (The con is in the cultural wasteland that surrounds LAX, so the options are mostly bad chains, plus terrible Mexican, better Mexican, and swanky Mexican. Not so much with the variety. There’s a Greek place I’ve still never been to.) I had duck molé and regaled @t-cupsandtime​ with my many lolwhut fandom adventures. (Yes, I talked about myself all through dinner. Why do you ask? ;D)

Later, after the vid show, I hosted the after party in the con suite, where I set up a bar to serve a variety of lovely cocktails, each a different color. (Predictably, I got caught up dealing with tech issues in another room, so people just drank all the vodka and poured themselves whatever they felt like, but I did have a cool cocktail menu in theory!) 

We also watched a few vids and, more importantly, I was able to inflict Always Crashing in the Same Car on a whole roomful of fans. Come dwell with me in terrible kinky porn land, friends!

My cocktail offerings were:

Negroni - in honor of Killa always eying my sugar death bomb drinks with alarm

Moonlight - in honor of Joi McMillon’s gushing at Visible Artists over the editing process on Moonlight (you fangirl, you!)

Amaretto Sour - because I had a lot of home-grown lemons

Grasshopper - because SUGAR DEATH BOMB

China Blue - no, not that vodka bullshit in a martini glass: the tropical weirdness with lychee liqueur, blue curaçao, and grapefruit juice

White Russian - can’t go wrong with the Dude

Penguin - frothy, pink, and full of gin--in honor of Escapade’s mascot, gay penguins

Vids

This year, there was just a vidding 101 panel (which I did not attend) and vid review (which I did). The Friday dance party was my playlist, which you can see on Tumblr here. It wasn’t as OT3-y as I wanted, but it worked great as a dance playlist.

I’ll mention again that I started my vid search based on the fandoms on people’s profiles on the Escapade website. 90% of you didn’t fill anything out, so I didn’t look for your fandoms. Just saying! The dance party also takes suggestions, both for fandoms and for specific vids. Suggest early; suggest often!

I did a lot of my vid hunting on AO3. Unlike Tumblr or Youtube, you can search it properly for just things that are fanvids or just for fanvids in specific fandoms, and you can find things that were posted longer ago than last week.

The Saturday vidshow is the big one where vidders premiere their vids for a rapt audience as opposed to a bunch of loud drunk people... unless you’re in the loud room, in which case, it’s still a bunch of loud drunk people. This year, it was a little underwhelming. While the vids were all excellent--maybe even better than in other years--they were also heavily drawn from last Festivids and last VividCon. As often happens, many of them were rather heavy. For the dance party, I chose based on music, even if the only copy of a vid I had was grabbed from Youtube and full of pixilation. The real vidshow tries to keep image quality higher, and that makes finding vids much harder: most vidders don’t think in terms of HQ files that will look good on a projector. I think that’s a pity because, while our numbers at Escapade are small, we’re a very dedicated audience. Make pretty HQ versions, vidders! Let us love you! And post to AO3! Let us find you!

Panels!

Lots of meta and recs panels for me this year. I ran a panel on films about fandom: the problematic ones that exist, the ones we’d like to see, and my grad school thesis that I’d like you to donate to when the indiegogo goes up.

I also ran The Fannish Dating Game, the panel where you pimp your fandom by being a bachelorette and answering our lovely contestant’s questions. Certain People having failed with McHale’s Navy last year were determined to drag everyone into Barney Miller this year. When I was a contestant, the three options turned out to be The Eagle, Master and Commander, and Cardcaptor Sakura--all fandoms I used to be in. Heh. I think I’m due for a turn back through Hornblower, to be honest, but maybe another Age of Sail frenzy will follow.

The Kids Are Not the Problem: I know I attended this, but I can’t remember a thing about it other than who the mods were... Doh.

Home on the Web: This was a panel about what’s missing in Tumblr or other alternatives today and where we should go. The discussion circled around the idea that there needs to be a fannish-run social media site and that we need a good backup/download tool for Tumblr lest it go away some day. I don’t think we really discussed what’s wrong with Dreamwidth: many things are great about it, but it lacks some of the audiovisual aspects that I’ve grown to love elsewhere. One thing that came up again and again for me is that some of the requested things exist or could exist, but we either aren’t making use of tools we should, like filling out our AO3 profiles or using AO3′s bookmarks feature, or we don’t know where to find the good fuckyeah tumblrs and other replacements for fannish newsletters. In my opinion, everyone should go ahead and invest time in tumblr even if its economic model is unsustainable, but we should figure out how to back it up ASAP. Everyone should also go have the threaded discussions they want to in AO3 fic comments.

Let’s Collab! New Forms of Collective Fan Creativity: I couldn’t make it to this since it conflicted with Home on the Web. I’d love to know how it was.

How to Threesome: We played with posable dolls and nattered about what kinds of sex we like in OT3 fic and whether or not it’s similar to what makes sense in real life. (Answer: of course it’s not. It’s exactly like two-person couples in erotica and romance in that there’s lots of Souls As One simultaneous shit and much less realistic sex where one person takes a lot longer than another.)

The Slash Book: This is really cool. There’s talk of a slash book that combines fan and academic perspectives.

OT3 for Me: Another panel of OT3 squee. (It’s Escapade 27, so the theme is OT3s.) We all wanted more canons with OT3s and other poly arrangements. What year is this again? Surely, there should be more in self-published ebooks at least by now? Lots of us talked about shipping teams together: buddy cops = OTP, Leverage = 2+3, MCU = team orgy.

It’s Canon, but is it slash? I proposed this but didn’t run it, so it spent a lot of time on the meta question of what defines slash. I was more interested in the question of whether pro m/m is scratching the same itches and what’s good. We concluded that it theoretically could, but the vast majority of it doesn’t because it’s just not good enough at setting up the iddy character dynamics before it gets to the fucking. Give us buddy cops and superhero-supervillain feuds before they bump uglies, please!

You’re Totally Welcome on my Lawn, but I Wish You Wouldn’t Pee on the Grass: Not, as it happens, my panel. Anyone have a panel review?

We’re All Going to Hell: Obviously an amazing panel full of all of My People. Now where are my noncon xeno recs?

Wank: It’s Coming from Inside the Fandom: We tried to define both ‘wank’ and ‘The Discourse’ and never really settled on anything, but we did get to explain His Wife, A Horse to the unwary. Muahahahaha!

[dokjaism]

kinky grasshoppers.... i see 🦗🤩

N O

[ironphilosophercloud-blog]

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