#The jokes get old quickly but they still think it’s one of the funniest things about them

[formylovetodaryldixon]

"Catching the fox." Daryl Dixon Imagine.

(Not my gif!)

Jesus only caused problems since you, Daryl and Rick met him during a run, but that doesn’t prevent you all from having a little fun. (Even if you come home empty-handed)

A/N: Based on what is probably the funniest episode of "The Walking Dead" to me. I wrote this a while ago but I'm posting it for my friend, who actually finds this funny hehe Sorry if this is long and boring :c Spoiler alert: Jealous Daryl is my favorite Daryl! I hope you like it!

“So… hunky-dunky. Uh?”

In front of you all, an empty, silent road is always pleasant. Nature wasn’t lost after the apocalypse, not completely, and although the green color of the grass disappeared slowly with the passage of time, Mother Nature still retained her place in the world. Sitting by the window in that big truck full of food, the wind pushes some strands of your hair as you breathe in the fresh air. And, sitting in the middle as Rick drives, Daryl glances at you as he checks Denise’s list.

“Don’t…” He says, warning you, making you chuckle. It was the word that Eugene used when he gave Daryl his map, always using fancy ones. At his side as he drives the truck down the hill, Rick chuckles, too. “Why ya never gave me a list?”

You watch the list in his hand and then, you look back at him.

“I think it's impossible to get a high definition TV with surround sound system so I can watch the games again like in those old days. You know, the ones that were on TV before the world went to hell.”

Both men look at you with a funny look, and you look back at the window as the truck approaches that abandoned gas station on the left side of the road. There are papers and trash everywhere, and Rick parks near the gasoline pumps. All of you get out, but since the silent street is free of any walker, you walk around while Rick goes ahead to check the store door.

“We had that shit in our apartment? That round sound thing.”

You chuckle before turning around towards him, smiling innocently.

“Surround sound system, love, and no, we didn’t. We were always fooling around so we never really had time to watch the games. Remember?”

Your words catch him off guard, and his innocent eyes look at you until he understands what they mean. A second later, the boldness shines in his blue eyes and he closes the distance of a few steps between you two. Daryl encircles your waist with his right arm and pulls you gently towards him, his forehead resting against yours.

“Are ya makin’ fun of me, sunshine?”

You shake your head, softly.

“No, but why?” You whisper. “Does that turn you on?”

“Really?” Rick complains, suddenly, closer than you thought he was. “Now?”

You chuckle pulling away from your husband.

“Sorry, bro.” Says Daryl, taking his arm off of you.

Rick looks at you two with a sarcastic expression and raises an eyebrow.

“I regret coming with you two.”

But he is joking and let it go quickly.

On the back of the place, Daryl walks over to the black machine lying in the middle, noticing it was a vending machine turning upside down. Although Denise said it wasn’t of the utmost importance, he wants to go back to Alexandria with a gift for Tara, just because Daryl understood the feeling of trying to do something nice for another person. So, minutes later, Rick rolls over the machine with a chain attached to the truck, and as he gets out and walks towards you two, the glass shows that the interior is full.

“It’s soda and Candy.” Rick says while Daryl removes one of the chains. “Why the trouble?”

“It ain’t a trouble.”

But suddenly, out of nowhere, a man turns around the corner and pushes Rick on his way out, raising his hands in the air as Daryl and Rick take their guns to aim at the stranger, your own hand holding your weapon hidden behind your waist, as a reflex in the face of danger.

The bandana that covers half of his face shows only his pretty eyes.

“Hi.” He is agitated, as if he has run for a long time. “I was just running from the dead.”

“How many?” Daryl asks while Rick steps back to look at the corner of the lonely place, searching for any walkers close by.

“10. Maybe more. I’m not risking it. Once it gets to double digits, I start running.”

Daryl doesn’t trust him, and he keeps pointing at him with his gun.

“Where?”

“About a half a mile back. They’re headed this way. You probably have about…” He wiggles his head, looking for the right number. “11 minutes.”

The distrust doesn’t go away, but Rick is the first and the only one who lowers his weapon.

“Okay, thanks for letting of know.”

“Yes.” The man breathes through his bandana. “There’s more of them than us. Right? Gotta stick together.” He looks at Daryl, due to his gun still pointing at him. “Right?”

Although that stranger appeared from nowhere, he lowers his gun, too.

“You have a camp?” The man asks.

Maintaining the safety of Alexandria was the main thing, and being selective with the new people you all let in was the first rule until you all knew they could be trusted.

“No.” Daryl says.

“Do you?” Rick asks.

The man thinks about it for a second.

“No.” He finally says, and then, he looks at you standing next to them. “It’s just you two, with a woman?”

Before you realize what he meant, Daryl raises his weapon quickly, his hand tightening around it in anger.

“Ya want me to shoot ya, asshole? She’s ma wife and yer gonna say yer sorry.”

The man breathes in and Rick looks at him.

“You better say it now before he shoots you.”

Before looking at you, the man looks at Daryl who was still aiming him with his gun, so the new one does it. You don’t think what he said was an insult, but it was better to follow the situation calmly before Daryl shoots him for real.

“I’m really sorry, madam. I didn’t mean to offend you.” You move your hand in the air to minimize the misunderstanding, telling him it was okay. “Well… sorry for running into you. I’m gonna go now.” He turns around and starts walking, talking over his shoulder. “This is the next world; I hope it’s good to you, guys.”

Daryl and you share a confused look as Rick watches the man walk away.

“I’m Rick, these are (y/n) and Daryl. What’s your name?”

The man turns around again and pulls his bandana down.

“Paul Rovia. But my friends use to call me Jesus…” He extends his arms out, casually. “You pick.”

“You said you didn’t have a camp.” Rick answers back. “You are on your own?”

“Yeah.” He looks at you all with a sudden confidence. “But still, best not to try anything.”

However, Daryl doesn’t seem impressed, or intimidated.

“Best not to make threats ya can’t keep, either.”

“Exactly.” And the man starts running out of there.

“How many walkers–” Rick tries to ask, but Daryl cut him off.

“No. Not this guy.”

However, Rick makes his question anyways.

“How many walkers have you killed?”

“Sorry! Gotta run. You should too.”

And he disappears around the corner.

Running into new people was still strange, but that situation was a new kind of strange, and hard to understand too.

“What the hell was that?” Daryl asks.

“Yeah. He was clean.” Rick nods. “His beard, it was trimmed.”

“And he was way too confident to be just by himself.” You say.

Rick nods again, because if the man is strange to you both, then that is more than just a coincidence then: something else is happening.

“He didn’t have a gun, either.” Daryl frowns, looking down the path Jesus took.

“We could track him.” Rick put away his gun. “Watch him for a while. Get to know him more. See if he’s really alone. Maybe bring him back.”

“No.” Daryl complains, his voice always low and husky. “That guy calls himself Jesus.”

But then, a noise from the front of the place attracts everyone’s attention, the thunderous sound of tires against the pavement.

“Shit.” Daryl says when he realizes the truth. “He swiped yer keys. Didn’t he?”

The moment you all get there; the place is still empty, with the truck full of food moving away up the hill.

“Sorry!” Jesus yells as he drives away, taking the vending machine with him, too.

The three of you stop in the middle of the road, watching with frustration as the truck goes away under your eyes.

“Shit.” Rick says.

The vending machine leaves a path on middle of the road, like breadcrumbs to track down the thief, until you find it halfway on the way. Daryl opens the case to secure Denise’s sodas for Tara while Rick and you catch your breaths after running up there. The strands of your hair stick to your forehead, while the beads of sweat begin to fall on theirs.

“This is a special request from the doctor.” Daryl says, showing Rick the soda can, opening one to give it to you.

“Hey…” Rick breaths and takes the broken one Daryl gives him. “Whatever she wants. She saved Carl’s life. We didn’t know her, and she turned out to be all right. And If there’s still people out here, and they’re still people, we should bring them in.”

“What? Like this guy?” Daryl points to the road Jesus left.

“No, fuck that guy.” Rick shakes his head and looks inside the machine for something.

You wipe your mouth with the back of your hand, your mind full of thoughts about what had just happened, but without saying anything, at least until you can formulate a coherent opinion.

“What’s on your mind, (y/n)?” Rick asks when he sees you looking at the ground.

“Well, I just think that…” You doubt if you should share with them what you are thinking, but it is a waste of time while the truck is still moving. “It’s nothing. We just keep going.”

You try to take a few steps but Daryl stops you reaching out his arm.

“Hey.” He says softly to you. “S’okay, jus’ say it.”

You are not naive; you know how that world works now. Not only were the alive against the dead ones. That life was a battle against other people as well. However, not everything was black and white. Or it was?

“I don’t say that what he did is right, but no one steals for pleasure these days, maybe he did it because he needs it, too.”

Rick wiggles his head slowly, half of him giving you the reason because that is true although nothing apologized what that man did.

“So what?” Daryl frowns, his temper rising again. “Would ya jus’ let him go with our stuff?”

His personality is like a roller coaster, full of constant ups and downs, but luckily, you know how to handle it.

“Don’t talk to me like that, Dixon, and it was you who said I could share my opinion. But I am not saying we should let him go just like that. Hell, no.”

Daryl gives a step back, confused by your sudden change of mood, just like his own.

“So?”

You frown back.

“The truck is ours. And, if in this world the strongest wins, that will be us. So, we will get it back.”

The force in your eyes and the way you look at him catches him completely. But Daryl is no longer shy, and although he likes your privacy as a marriage, he can’t help but tangle his hand in your hair, softly.

“Since when ya are this ballsy, woman?”

Playing, you push his hand away.

“Fuck you, Dixon. I was like this long before I met your ass.”

“I really hate you both.” Rick says, making Daryl chuckle.

“Sorry, bro. S’jus’… she looks so hot right now.”

You chuckled as Rick raises an eyebrow.

“It’s because we ran until we got here. Now, we should get going.”

At first, you try to be understanding to the request of both men asking you to wait behind the bushes while they surprise the stranger, who just finished fixing the tire of the truck parked in the middle of the road, away from the danger posed by Paul, or Jesus, or whatever he chose to call himself, but you can’t help but compare him to a fox, somewhat elusive, almost slippery as he managed to dodge the blows of Rick and Daryl, who were hit in the stomach and pushed against the truck, respectively.

So, when Jesus turns around, he stops dead with your gun pointed at his face, his hands in the air.

“You would really shoot me in the face just for a truck?”

You tilt your head, taking the safety off the gun your dad gave you for protection before dying.

“No. Not in the face, but in the legs just below the knees so you stop being so slippery.”

He takes a deep breath.

“You wouldn’t do that.”

Behind him, Rick and Daryl raise their own weapons, making you lower your own.

“Oh, trust me, pretty boy, I totally would.”

But suddenly, before you can say more, a walker comes out of the bushes, grunting at you all.

“Do you even have any ammo?” Jesus asks, but Daryl and Rick are already tired of him, and both shoot the walker at the same time. “Okay, again, are you gonna shoot me over a truck?”

“There’s a lot of foot on that truck.” Rick says. “The keys. Now.”

In the end, Jesus gives them the keys and Rick ties his his hands and feet up to leave him there, on a side of the road.

“The knots aren’t that tight.” Rick says to him. “You should be able to get free… after we’re long gone.”

For his part, Daryl growls when he sees that some of the soda cans had crushed during the fight, with all the content dripping from his backpack.

“Maybe we should talk now.” Jesus smiles when Rick walks away.

“Nah.” Daryl walks pass him by and makes you walk with him to the passenger seat. But first, he stops to shake a can and throws it at Jesus. “Here. In case ya gets thirsty.”

When you two get to the passenger seat, Daryl goes up first, and though he has to move to let you go up, too, he takes you by the waist to help you go up to sit between his legs. You are a little surprise by his action, but he just closes the truck door and chuckles as Rick moves the keys around his finger.

“You were right, (y/n).” He smiles at you as he starts the truck. “We are the strongest ones.”

As the truck begins to move, Daryl leans back against the seat and shows his middle finger out the window.

“So long, ya prick!” He yells at Jesus.

The loud music in the truck accompanies you all the way. As you lean your arm against the window frame, the wind makes your tied hair move back, in a soothing and peaceful way. Daryl’s right hand continues to rest against your waist beneath your t-shirt, holding you against him while everything around is still fine.

“He ain’t that pretty, y’know?” Daryl says quietly over the music, after a long moment of silence.

You frown, turning slightly to look at him.

"Are you kidding with me? Jesus...” But you laugh when Daryl frowns, even though you just said the name of the son of God, not that stranger. "That's not what I meant!"

But before he can answer back, Rick talks first.

“Hey, look at that.” He says, pointing something on the road in front.

A barn. When you get close, the even path changes for an unstable one as you all enter the barn’s lawn, but, out of nowhere, there is a blow that comes from the roof.

“You hear that?” You ask as Daryl lowers all the volume of the music.

“I think that son of a bitch is on the roof.”

And then, Rick is really tired of that fox.

“Hold on.” Rick steps on the brake and the truck stops abruptly, throwing Jesus through the air until he falls in front of you all.

But then, he just gets up on his feet, and runs away. It is ridiculous. It is almost comical the way Rick drives to chase him down the field, but in the end, it is Daryl who has enough of him.

“Motherfu-” Daryl stops himself to take you by the waist, and he moves from under you. “Stay here, I’ll be right back.”

Before you react or before Rick could stop the car, Daryl opens the door and gets out of the truck to chase after Jesus on foot.

Rick drives near them as you sigh.

“Sometimes I can’t believe I’m married to that man.”

Rick laughs and tries to move the truck to block Jesus, but that elusive fox is more agile, so Rick steps back the truck as Daryl and Jesus swing from side to side in the middle of the field, waiting for one of them to take the first step.

“We should clear the way for them.” Rick says when some walkers around the place start to move too close to them.

You open the truck door, moving away from it, pulling the knife from the sheath of your waist.

“We came to a conclusion, asshole!” Daryl yells at Jesus, still in the middle of the place when he runs away, so Daryl looks at you two before start chasing him, again. “I got him.”

Some walkers were tied up with around another truck, and you and Rick make them fall when they manage to break the rope free.

Back in the truck, Jesus opens the driver’s door and tries to get in, but Daryl grabs him from his jacket and tries to pull him out.

“Come ‘ere, ya little shit.”

No one sees it coming, no one pays any attention, but a walker comes up to Daryl from behind, walking dangerously until it enters Jesus’s view. He raises a gun, watching Daryl without moving.

“Duck.” He says.

Daryl understands it at once and crouches. The bullet flies over him and enters directly into the walker’s head causing it to fall. Daryl looks back and studies the body on the ground before turning back to look at Jesus.

“Thanks.” Daryl breathes out and punches him on the face. “That’s ma gun! Come ‘ere.”

The shot pierces your ears and Rick’s, causing to both of you to look at the truck in the distance, and you two run to them. Daryl tries to pull Jesus out of the truck, but Jesus knocks it into neutral, and the vehicle starts rolling into a pond behind. Daryl jumps out of the truck and Jesus followed him, but his head gets hit with the door and he passes out. When Rick and you finally reach the place, you watch Daryl moving Jesus with his boot as the truck sinks.

You sigh heavily when you all see the last of that truck before it disappears forever before everyone’s sight.

The new car you all get is old, ironically, but Rick keeps driving through the silent road in the middle of those huge trees. From the backseat, Daryl pushes Jesus who was still pretty unconscious, but his body continues to fall back on Daryl’s shoulder.

“Is he your new best friend?” You tease him, making Daryl groan. “I’m getting jealous, actually.”

“Be quiet, woman.”

“I told you I could go in the back with him.”

“Yeah?” He says. “Over ma dead body.”

Just to annoy him even more, Rick moves the car so that way Jesus’ body would fall back on Daryl. He growls again, pushing Jesus far from him as Rick drives back to Alexandria.

That same night, Daryl and Rick walk down Alexandria Street back to their homes after leaving Jesus in the basement. He was fine despite the hit, and by now they just had to wait for him to wake up in the morning.

As they arrive at Rick’s house first, it is time to say goodbye.

“It is pretty stupid of us to go out there. Isn’t?” Rick asks as he goes up the stairs of his porch.

“Yep.” Daryl says walking away. “Do it again tomorrow?”

“Yep.” Rick answers watching him go. “Tell (y/n) to come.”

“Hu-uh.” Daryl waves his hand to him.

Two houses away, Daryl goes up the steps to the porch and opens the door to his house. The only light comes from a lamp on the table in the living room, shining with an amber color. Daryl closes the door behind him and watches you come out of the kitchen.

“There’s a couple of sandwiches in case you’re hungry.”

But he just walks towards you while you stop in front of the stairs. You are tired but it had been a funny day in spite of everything, and you laugh when Daryl wraps his arms around your waist to lift you up.

You hold yourself with your hands on his shoulders, your legs around his waist.

“Nah. Jus’ want some time alone with ma wife.”

[vulpes115]

Just realized another added benefit of gender-fluid Sirius is they are quite literally a bitch (in the female dog sense) some of time as well as always being a SOB

She thinks this is the funniest thing in the world and he will take any opportunity to make jokes about that

Sirius making one of her dramatic entrances: I’m a bitchy bitch SOB!

[wemalyri]

what are enhypen members like in a relationship? sunghoon ver.

pairing: idols!enhypen × fem!reader

w/c: 1,6k

warnings: relationship development, kisses, physical touch, smut under cut

a/n: sunghoon is the most difficult enhypen member for me to understand. I hope this one is good. if you liked it, likes and reports are welcomed. also let me know which member I should do next!!

heeseung jay jake sunghoon sunoo jungwon niki

the first meeting

Just as Heeseung, he’s the type who wouldn’t talk a lot when he meets you. Sunghoon prefers to watch you from a distance and awkwardly nod when you ask him something or interact with him. I feel like Sunghoon would try to make a joke (not the funniest one) but when he sees your smile it would make his stomach flip. This is how he gets into you. You’re the one who finds him really funny and he truly appreciates it. I feel like Sunghoon would also flutter when he finds out you make the same jokes as him. He would laugh at them, trying to hide his smile with a palm, looking away.

Your special aura would stay in his mind for a while. It wouldn’t be something serious, more like a warm feeling from meeting an old friend. But exactly this would make Sunghoon less awkward next time he sees you. I feel like he would greet you with a known smile, shaking his hand in the air. As he’s given the same genuine reaction from you, his warm feeling to you blossoms more.

friendship

You two becoming friends is the most natural and right thing in this world. For everyone. You two match each other’s vibes so well it would be surprising otherwise. Your relationship would develop slowly without unnecessary words or bursts of emotions. The feeling that you have known each other for a long time would rapidly carry you to each other, making you spend time together more and more. You would discuss the books you have read (I remember the stack of Sunghoon’s books on his bedside table in the room), talk about style, fashion, what is the best placement of things in the closet. You would find each other’s lifestyles similar. Sunghoon would sometimes complain about the mess that members make.

Slowly feelings that both of you considered as platonic would develop into something more. It would start with greeting hugs. First of all , Sunghoon is not a physically affectionate person, so the fact that you two start to interact physically means he starts trusting you more. But greeting hugs would become longer than they have to be… One time Sunghoon wouldn’t be able to control himself and would place his hand on your head softly, while your face is tugged into his chest. Such gentleness from him would make your heart skip a beat. Inhaling your scent, Sunghoon starts thinking that you might be not just a friend.

his confession

As he realizes he has fallen deeper than he thought, the idea of confession couldn’t leave him even for a second. Sunghoon wants to know if you feel the same, if you are on the same page.

I feel like he would confess somewhere quiet but atmospheric. Sunghoon would become romantic and rent a table on the balcony of the restaurant. 

The sun is setting and he looks at you, admiring your features and lips that curved into a smile. The most genuine words letting out from his mouth. “At the last time, I feel like you’re more than a friend to me. I’m really comfortable with you, the way I’m not comfortable with anyone. I thought you were like an old friend to me but now… I think you’re more than that. I want to be special to you, just the way you’re special to me.” His breath slightly hitched from nervousness, eyes looking down. When he lifts his gaze and sees your smile, everything is clear as the sun that is still sparkling in your eyes. You nod with a smile, “I understand you. I feel the same” HIs face lights up immediately and he chuckles. “I hoped so.”

relationship

He’s a romantic type of guy, who always tries to make you laugh. In the very beginning Sunghoon might be awkward sometimes, but it quickly vanishes away. He would take you to different beautiful places with a good view just to share them with you. He would buy you flowers, handing them to you with a shy smile. I feel like physically he would touch you a lot in a casual way. Placing his hand on your back, when you approach him, hand on your head, when you hug him, holding your wrist, when you look him into eyes, telling about something. Sunghoon is the type of guy to admire you and lose in his thoughts a lot. You might think he doesn’t listen to you, staring at your face but trust me he just can’t take his eyes off you. 

I feel like Sunghoon would love you to meet members but would regret this idea immediately after he sees how close they get to you. 

He doesn’t do anything about it at first, just bites the inner side of his cheek, staring at you and Sunoo cutely interacting. After a while when he thinks it’s a bit too much for him to handle, he approaches you, placing his hand on your back.  “Actually, we have to go,” Sunghoon says, making up the most illogical excuse.  You stare at him, not understanding what’s happening, and he just tries to talk with you without words, looking at you and then at the entrance, wanting to go already.

first kiss

The type of guy to kiss your head before anything more to test the waters and watch your reaction. Your eyes widen, looking at him in surprise. As your cheeks roses, Sunghoon looks away, chuckling in sudden shyness. As he changes the topic, his head is already working, thinking about when to kiss your lips.

Metro station at night. Yes, that one from XO m/v. Almost no one here and you two are waiting for your train. Your eyes met, not able to break away from each other. As Sunghoon leans closer to you, his mouth whispers, “Can I?” As you slowly nod, not breaking eye contact, he leans even closer, his lips gently pressing to yours. His hand holds your back when the other one brushes your hair from your face away. As Sunghoon pulls away, he looks into your eyes and smiles, kissing your forehead with affection.

18+ UNDER CUT

first time

The gentle and slow type. Sunghoon loves to be in control because only then he knows what he’s doing. He would never rush with you, letting himself enjoy the moment fully. 

I feel like Sunghoon would be the type who prepares everything beforehand. Like he would know that today something’s going to happen so he cleans everything in his room, changes sheets and prepares candles to create atmosphere. He would definitely buy condoms because he cares about protection and safety. 

He wouldn’t watch anything but maybe he would ask one of the members who is more experienced than him (Heeseung?). I think Sunghoon would try not to think about it too much so as not to worry.

When it finally happens he slowly kisses you, savoring the moment. His hand holds the back of your head as he gently lays you down on the bed, watching into your eyes. Stopping for a moment he asks permission for going any further without words, just by looking at you. When you smile and nod he answers with the same look on his face and his lips move lower, tracing lines under your jaw.

Sunghoon is not really a talker but he would give you a few compliments as your pieces of clothes are slowly removed one by one.

“You’re so pretty…” he whispers while checking you out. Your shirt is pulled up, exposing your breasts covered in bra. As his words make you flustered, the blush on your cheeks is blooming. Seeing this, Sunghoon leans closer to kiss your face. “You’re my favorite view,” his words leaving his mouth.

Going further, your movements pick up the pace, kisses becoming passionate and hungry. Sunghoon would let out groans and gaspes as his hips presses to yours. He would try to control himself but it wouldn’t last long. He would be the one who worships your body, kissing your skin not missing a single spot. Sunghoon would let you run your fingers into his hair as a sign of trust. He would touch you, immediately asking if you like that.

As his fingers slide inside you, his thumb starts caressing your clit. Sunghoon looks at you, searching for a sign of approval. “Do you like that?” he enquires, examining your face. “Yes… Don’t stop.” you sigh and Sunghoon immediately starts moving his fingers faster.

Sunghoon is not going to cum before you. Only when he knows that you’re done he lets himself relax and reach the edge of pleasure. 

He’s an aftercare guy. He would clean everything. Bed, you, himself. A used condom should immediately end up in the trash, dirty sheets in the laundry basket. He might want to take a shower with you (not in a sexual way but to help you clean yourself).

+ bonus

When you get used to each other, he continues to follow his habits. He always cleans up everything after himself, helps you with this. Sunghoon wants you both to feel comfortable both during and after sex.

However, you will sometimes help him deviate from the established rules and routines to which he is accustomed. During sex with you, he will learn to really relax and enjoy the moment.

[mylittleredgirl]

i'm having a time of it where i couldn't look at screens very much, so i haven't been watching or posting as much about m*a*s*h, but you'd better believe that has left me even more time to THINK about m*a*s*h!!!

buckle up: update for season four disc one!

(after welcome to korea, that is, which was another post)

headline: LOVE the new characters!!

bj has somehow already committed arson?? hawkeye, you are SUCH a bad example for your little brother

at some point down the line i'm sure i will stop infantilizing this grown ass man but for now literally everything bj does i'm like. that's a Baby.

especially when he participates in a bit where they're going after frank or margaret, who he literally just met

you know when there's like a ten-year-old with a strong opinion about something, like "that [toy, tv show, video game] SUCKS!" with all the rage and feeling in their world-weary heart

... and then one step behind them is the five-year-old who chimes in "yeah that REALLY sucks!" but with this innocent delight in their eyes, like they have no idea what's going on but they're getting a really good grade in Big Kid

that's BJ, is what i'm saying

and colonel potter! he's regular army!! but it's ok: he drinks

it's soooo perfect that he and bj share their first o.r. scene. the sweet calming mentor energy... i'm luv him.

and then HE SHOOTS THE DEAD JEEP. i'm still laughing about that. if colonel potter never does one more funny thing again he's still the funniest man alive.

meanwhile! we join our established characters already in progress

frank and hawkeye's relationship gets genuinely hostile there for a while. uncomfortably so, even.

and during the week i was too dizzy to sit up and make this post i spent a LOT of time thinking about this!!!

each of them are spinning out for their own reasons, which play out all over this season so far. frank gained and lost the power he wanted so badly. hawkeye lost both his besties at the same time, and the support structure and identity that went along with that.

but also trapper's absence on its own radically changed the swamp boys dynamic!!

frank has always been justifiably hateable, but there was a SPORT to it, you know? hawkeye and trapper were tormenting him largely to entertain each other, which means they did it a lot but only to the point where it was funny

and think about the "but there's no real hate, right?" in O.R., like in frank's mind, they torture him but they're all still buddies!!! (and the occasional peek into frank's sad childhood could explain this perception)

it quickly becomes clear in season 4 that trapper was a tempering influence between hawkeye and frank, who end up in a full on BRAWL

LIKE A DRAWN OUT PHYSICAL FIGHT

also hard to watch: frank wrecking margaret's tent. hmm. mm-mmm. don't like this.

on the other hand, i loved the "i'm here but we're not doing anything!" scene in the next episode when they're playing cards in her tent. they're always slapping or kissing or scheming -- i feel like this is the first time we ever see them just hanging out like friends

… with anyone, actually. like this thirty seconds of a card game just unlocked an unseen part of both their personalities

something subtle is shifting in this relationship. by the end of "the kids," even sober-margaret is getting in on the joke that frank sucks. i await future developments.

THE KIIIIIIIIIIDS

oh god it's so sweet and harmless. it's healing. i love it. i want to roll around in that episode.

i hope "frank scams a purple heart and hawkeye steals it" continues to happen every season, like the mail episodes

i learned that alan alda directed this ep, which means that he made the decision both in front of and behind the camera for hawkeye to make this face as bj tells a bedtime story:

hawkeye!!!! don't fall in love with straight boys!!!!!

other things:

I'M STILL GRIEVING BY THE WAY

THEY CROPPED MY BOY OUT OF THE OPENING SEQUENCE

THEY CROPPED HIMMMMMM

henry blake memorial bar we hardly knew ye 😢

the moment when hawkeye is like yeah bj, just to get you up to speed: henry was basically radar's dad

any time they mention henry or trapper i have feelings but ALSO i have feelings whenever i think maybe they could have mentioned them but didn't. mentioned them IN MY HEART.

i'm a little fixated on the choice to replace henry and trapper, notorious philanderers, with characters who are immediately identified as Wife Guys

genuinely if y'all hadn't told me that mclean stevenson and wayne rogers wanted out, i would have assumed the character shakeup happened specifically for that reason!

totally other topic but i'm definitely missing some kind of joke here and it's driving me nuts: every time a british character shows up they're heavily spray-tanned. what does it meeeeaaaan??

and lastly. best part of "the bus" is the knowledge that somewhere off-screen, margaret, klinger, and the nurses are running the camp.

[brianhanes]

Why Star Wars Attack of the Clones Wasn’t That Bad

A lot of times Attack of the Clones get slack from Star Wars (especially Original Trilogy fans) but it honestly was a decent film even if it wasn’t great for Star Wars standards. 

1. The Prequels faced a very high standard

As previously mentioned, the Original Trilogy is one of the best trilogies of all time. Many consider it to be the best trilogy in cinema history. They were known for having great acting, stunning graphics, and a compelling story. This means people expected to see all the same from the Prequels and anything it fell short on caused people to ignore it’s strengths.

I’d honestly argue Attack of the Clones had better pacing than A New Hope. I’m not saying it was a better movie but for me, many of the scenes that took place in the middle of the film (in the Death Star) were dull. We also need to keep in mind the Vader vs Ben Kenobi duel was poor and the movie made stromtroopers look like a joke with them constantly missing. But nostalgia can fix many things. Don’t get me wrong, the start of the ANH was very strong and the end of it (trench run and celebration scene) brought about some of the best moments in cinema history. 

2. It reduced the sting of Jar Jar

The main reason and many viewers enjoy Attack of the Clones more than the Phantom Menace is because of Jar Jar Binks. That character had constant, over-the-top comedic scenes that just weren’t funny. Many thought he killed the movie and Attack of the Clones was at least watchable in most scenes. More so, it made such an annoying character become a mature senator. He ended up being more mature than Anakin!

3. People Took it Too Seriously

This honestly is the biggest reason people didn’t enjoy the film as much as they could have. Attack of the Clones is easily one of the funniest if not the funniest Star Wars movie of all time. I watched it as a kid, so I was able to see this, and I watched it again as an adult and enjoyed it even more. It isn’t a Rogue One type of story and shouldn’t be treated that way.

4. We get to see Anakin simp as soon as it starts

When I rewatch, this scene always has me cracking up. Perhaps some people had gotten so old that they forgot what it was like to be young. If you understand what it’s like to be a teenager and young adult, then much of what Anakin does should make you laugh. I’ve known so many Anakins in my life and honestly don’t know what we’d do without them bringing flavor in this world.

Anakin loses it with Obi Wan all because he’s flipping out about some girl. But it’s not just about that, he’s a young man who wants to prove who he is. Like many recent high school grads in the work force and college graduates. Anakin at this time was 19, still a teenager who wants to rush too quickly which gets him into trouble. I myself have had to learn this lesson so many times, to slow down.

Every time I hear Anakin impulsively say, “WHY??!!” I bust out. Even Jar Jar gulps in fear when he witnesses Anakin’s outburst. And pay close attention, you’ll notice Anakin is still staring at Padme when everyone else has moved on. Lucas knew exactly what he was doing lmao.

5. Anakin is so realistic

People like to make fun of prequel dialogue even if they believed Anakin was a decent or good actor, but I have another argument, the dialogue wasn’t even that bad. At least not as bad as many people were making it out to be. For me, realistic acting is never bad acting because the point of acting is to mimic reality.

 Let us think about Anakin’s past shall we. In the last movie he was a slave. Taken away to join a group of detached monks for ten years. For all his highschool age and younger years he never learned how to deal with women he liked. He never kissed a girl, probably had no idea what flirting was, and wasn’t trained on dating etiquette. Whether people would like to admit it or not most of us wouldn’t figure out and many of us still haven’t in better circumstances found out how to talk to people we are attracted to. 

I knew awkward adults in college and high school when it came to women. Why then is it strange for Anakin to be awkward when they who at least had more opportunities to learn about dating approaches were just as awkward?

PADME!!! 

6.The first conflict was fun

I did not watch Attack of the Clones in theaters, it was a bit before my time. The first Star Wars movie I watched in theaters was Revenge of the Sith, but I was still quite young then. I don’t know how people initially reacted when the saw the movie. but it had a strong start. There was a conflict, we knew a bounty hunter wanted to hunt down Padme. Anakin had simp tension, and an epic chase ensued throughout the Corsucant streets.

7. Anakin killing the Tuskens was also realistic

Remember when I said Anakin was only 19? There are soldiers who at 19 snapped and wiped out villages. Killing men, women, and children. More so, Anakin himself is a former child soldier. Who was recruited at 9. Jedi in the Clone Wars TV series fight at 14. Anakin in a legends comic killed someone at 10 years old. Perhaps that could have been more fleshed out, but when you are fighting at such a young age your mind is at risk.

Not to mention they just killed his mother in cold blood. I also loved the scene itself. Seeing Anakin rage and slash up Tuskens was great. I thought his acting was amazing. He was clearly ticked off and people often blame others when big incidents happen (like how he blamed Kenobi). Some people criticize Padme for staying with Anakin knowing he slaughtered tuskens of all ages. But Padme’s reaction was realistic.

I recommend people watch a movie called “What’s Love Got to Do With It?” about Tina Turner. It’s incredibly underrated. Women stay with abusive men all the time. In this case, she had a clear way to justify it because they killed his mother and Tuskens had terrorized the local villages for years. The Tuskens themselves have probably cleaned out households, so while Anakin’s actions weren’t justifiable they are not surprising and remember Anakin is from Tatooine. 

For all we know, he may have heard bad stories about them for years even while he was gone away as a Jedi. He might have been anxious about his mother well before the movie.

8, Jango Fett vs Obi Wan

This fight was epic and Jango gave us everything Boba didn’t in ROTJ, an amazing fight! Jango was the first to really show us that you don’t have to be a Jedi in Star Wars to take them on.

9. Jango vs Obi Wan in Space

Ok honestly, this was one of the best dogfights in Sci-Fi history. There I said it. It was phenomenal 10/10 the entire time. And it even did things to make it stand out as a showdown such as...

10. Seismic Charges

Jango’s use of a homing rocket was also a nice addition to the space showdown.

11. No Dull Moments

How anyone can watch Anakin riding that animal until he gets bucked off without laughing is beyond me. It’s gold and the CGI only makes it more comical. 

12. The sand joke

Big deal, Anakin said sand is rough, course, and irritating. Is that not true? Sand really has all of those qualities. Is it more irritating that he said everything is smooth on Naboo, perhaps but is it that big of a deal. I’ve heard plenty of people make weird statements before and remember this is a monk who was not able to party, date, or do anything wild. 

If you live a socially deprived like you might make lame statements too. All we can reasonably expect Anakin to do well is fight well and he did that. Outside of that, we could somewhat expect him to conduct himself professionally, but there is always an immature person out there. Like many young people, rock stars, class clowns, and others. There is always that person, why can’t it be Anakin. 

13. The Droid Factory

This was a visually stunning scene with great action. We also got a good humor bit with R2 and 3P0. They are always 100 percent on character. Their argument about leaving the ship was noteworthy as well.

Also mentioning humor, when Obi Wan said he wanted to be left alone and Anakin literally wanted to ditch him after he was captured, I was in stitches. Seriously felt like a comedy skit. Padme of course does the mature thing and emphasizes that they need to rescue Obi Wan and lets Anakin know that she’ll be looking for Obi Wan. Anakin then has no choice but to also look for his master.

Maybe he was seriously, lol. Perhaps he had been nagged one too many times. Perhaps he was yanking her tail and knew Padme would insist. I guess Kenobi would have to hope that was the case. 

14. The Arena creatures

A great nod to Star Wars in general. Creatures have always been an essential part of Star Wars and Anakin never missed his mark. Especially when Anakin took command of one of them. That was iconic. 

15. The Arena Battle

Here Lucas did something really novel. In other depictions, we always only saw one or two Jedi around. Lucas gave us a scene with 200 Jedi fighting together as a group against a massive droid army. Like the Battle of Hoth, speeder chase, Mustafar duel, Phantom Menace duel, and Battle over Coruscant this was a staple moment in Star Wars. 

Though the scene itself might not have been cinema gold, the idea was. it really deserves to get remade more in Star Wars video games. I hope to see more scraps like this in Tales of the Jedi’s next seasons.

17. C3PO switched out

Hilarious, who’d ever imagine fighting him? Him nearly blasting Gunray made it even better.

18. The Clone Troopers

One of the most beloved aspects of Star Wars. What later became a staple of the Clone Wars 2003 miniseries and 2008 Clone Wars series. It all started here and there was something special about the early clones. While the second phase of clones was my favorite (episode 3 timeline), I really enjoyed the uniform, professional, and mysterious vibes we got form the early clone troopers.

19. Count Dooku

One of the most iconic, beloved, elegant, and unique Sith Lords of all time emerged. Dooku is a staple Star Wars character (like Maul, Vader, Grievous, Jango Fett, Luke, Obi Wan) who is listed in many fans top 10 Star Wars characters. Not only is he an amazing villain but he makes for a great anti-hero or anti-villain in the Tales of the Jedi tv series. And they picked someone who was 80 years old yet still seemed powerful at all moments and someone who they can still make a lot more content about in a new show.

20. Mace Windu

Mace Windu is a classic prequel character. He has been shown in countless tv shows, comics, and novels. He is known for his dogmatic nature, being a mighty force user, and exceptional duelist. Mace really shows us what it’s like to look at an intimidating Jedi Master. His showing against Jango Fett further displays his dominance. 

Dude is just OP!

21. Yoda in action

I’ve heard that people reacted by cheering in the theaters while watching Yoda’s first lightsaber duel. I remember watching the documentary and seeing how the Prequel devs created a unique acrobatic fighting style for the legendary Jedi master. He dueled in a way that made him seem terrifying and inspiring despite his size.

He showed he had the force feats and saber skills to easily match a lethal Sith Lord who just beat two top tier duelists. This was another groundbreaking moment in Star Wars much like Obi Wan’s duel with Grievous and the fight in the Phantom Menace with a double bladed lightsaber user. 

22. Geonosians

Star Wars has many fascinating cultures and races such as the Wookiees, Ewoks, Mandalorians, and Twileks but what makes Geonosians particularly inspiring is their insect like appearance. More so, most of them seem to have an ability to fly and they have unique weapons that make them lethal warriors. The vicious nature of Geonosian warriors was further explore in the Star Wars Republic Commando video game which came two years after the release of Attack of the Clones. 

23. Kamino

I don’t know how I skipped this but I skipped it. Kamino was an awesome water world. Similar to how Mustafar was an awesome fire planet and Naboo was stunning. Bespin was a gorgeous land in the clouds and Hoth was a nice arctic tundra. Kamino is another fine addition to Star Wars’s collection of intriguing locations.

24. It builds up beautifully with Revenge of the Sith

Especially the scene where Anakin has his vision and his mother dies. It really explains the peril he feels when Padme is also at risk. Anakin didn’t have a lot of people that he loved that weren’t involved in the Jedi Order. And that really matters because all the Jedi that he knew (even the ones he liked) constantly reminded him (whether intentionally or not) of the rules and obligations he desperately wanted a break from.

The scene where Anakin vows to never again let someone he loves die and how he reacts to his mother’s passing is huge. It really lays out why he isn’t willing to risk Padme’s death in Episode 3 and how his biggest issue is an inability to accept that some things are beyond his control. Furthermore, it laid out the foundation for the story of Darth Plageius the Wise.

My rating of ATOC is 7 out of 10 stars but I honestly enjoy it more than that rating.

25. Obi Wan’s sass

Ok how did I miss this? Anakin doesn’t get to hog all of the comedic points. Kenobi definitely deserves to join in on this fun. If you didn’t notice his blatant sarcasm during the “rescue attempt” I really don’t know what to tell you.

26. The Fireplace Scene

One of my friends mainly agrees with me, he tells me most of the scenes in this movie are decent. Some were a bit cringey but they made sense (like how Anakin acted around Padme) but the fireplace scene was just atrocious. I’m going to argue with him. I’m going to argue it was delicious. But seriously, this is an all or nothing scene. 

Either you love it or hate it and I love it to pieces! Perhaps not so much if you care about Anakin’s dignity, I mean he really went way to far here. Like I said, the sand quote wasn’t embarrassing, it wasn’t an odd thing to think though uncommon to express. But the I CAN’T BREATH, you’re in MY SOUL TOURMENTING ME! That would get a man ghosted very quickly.

Still, fighting in the battlefield and almost getting killed alongside each other might change things. I mean, maybe Padme was intending to ghost and friend zone until that happened. Being a hero, slashing droids in half, that definitely can win a woman over.

And to be fair, if a woman meets with you in a nice gown and you’re supposed to “protect her” I’m not quite sure what her real motives are.

27. Deathsticks

Brilliant, brilliant, absolutely BRILLIANT! Seriously, drugs in Star Wars were makes it feel much more real. But what’s even better about this is Kenobi himself uses his trademark jedi mindtrick to convince a man to clean himself up, stop selling drugs, and change his life. That’s inspiring, Lucas was dropping golden nuggets and making people laugh in a Star Wars movie. 

28. Little Boba

This was honestly a nice touch. Boba at this point in the story a goofy little kid, it added personality to his dry yet cool persona we saw in the OT. Which was appropriate for the Original Trilogy, but it is important to know that people are people, there is a reason they act however they do. 

Boba Fett yelling, “Get him dad. Get HIM. FIRA.” It wasn’t that bad and hey he was a kid, just rooting for his father. Boba also showed maturity by doing as Jango ordered without hesitation and being able to operate the Slave 1 on his own even managing to use it to hurt Obi Wan.

The most important scene here was him witnessing his father’s death, it completely explain how he became such a ruthless and cold bounty hunter later. But like his father Boba had some values, unfortunately AOTC didn’t do a good job showing the values Jango had or how he passed them down to his son.

29. Dexter’s Diner

It was a nice dive into a more casual aspect of the Star Wars universe. I felt the same way about the glimpses we got into Coruscant, the Jedi Temple, Naboo, and the public transport in the film. The nice thing about Star Wars is getting different themes and narratives each movie. it can’t be all doom and gloom like Revenge of the Sith, Rogue One, and you get it.

30. Look at what it led to

I pretty much wrapped it up but I want to add this. I’m not focusing on projects that came out Revenge of the Sith, which in my opinion was the best movie lore-wise (not in general) in Star Wars history. Attack of the Clones and the Phantom Meance may not be the best Star Wars movies by any means, but they were decent (well TPM is decent without Jar Jar) but lore-wise I think the Prequels as a whole are on another level to anything else Star Wars. 

Star Wars Republic Commando (2004)

One of the best video game series of all time. It was outright phenomenal and delved more deeply into the mysterious, sci-fi, war, and clone aspects of the Clone Wars that Attack of the Clones introduced us to.

Star Wars Clone Wars (2003) Volume 1

This series was epic and action packed. It really showed us the huge battles, vast frontiers, mysterious worlds, great array of vehicles, and different climates that were shown in Clone Wars battles. This is a distinct vibe from the later Clone Wars which has more of an episode 3 vibe. The biggest difference is by then both the CIS and Republic are much more developed and begin to fight in more populated and crowded worlds. 

The 2008 Clone Wars series initially gave us a blend of both feels that were in Episode II and III but eventually (post season 3) became more centered on the Episode III tone of war. The same was true with the second volume of the Clone Wars (which makes perfect sense) but the first volume is largely regarded as the favorite. And what really made it special was that peculiar vibe the era had, you never knew what you were going to encounter.

When invisible droids engaged Yoda on Illum or when Ventress dueled Anakin something about it was so new and fresh that isn’t easily implemented in other eras. And for good resaon, they all have something special about them.

Star Wars The Clone Wars (2002)

It was a phenomenal vehicle based video game that existed in a Star Wars setting. It had a compelling story, epic battles, unique vehicles, and diverse multiplayer modes. This game just showed how much potential the AOTC era had.

Star Wars Republic (2002-2004 content)

While Republic initially came after The Phantom Menace and many of it’s great comics were inspired by the character Quinlan Vos, much of it’s content that came after 2002 was influenced by Attack of the Clones. But likewise Attack of the Clones was influenced by the comic series. 

Many people though Aayla Secura was created in Attack of the Clones, but she actually first appeared in Star Wars Republic back in 1998. Still, the Clone Wars timeline brought many interesting storylines to this series.

[giordirossi]

             GIORDANA ROSSI || Character Breakdown

Put under a read more for your viewing pleasure/to save the dash.

What is their go-to takeaway food, and what do they usually order?

Sushi and she tries something different almost every time. Favorites include anything involving spicy or avocado.

Who is their go-to drunk dial?

It doesn’t happen often because he’d lord it over her and make jokes until the end of time, but Vincenzo. She’s perfectly content with calling him 3 times in a row while sober.

If they take the tube, what’s the weirdest thing that’s ever happened to them?

She drives or walks to avoid 1) being groped in a crowded space or 2) being confronted by a man who smells like crackers and says that she looks like she could play tambourine in his band.

Has your character ever gotten so drunk they pissed themselves?

Not even once. Getting deeply inebriated wouldn’t be safe considering her line of work and she never feels comfortable not being in control of her own body. It would literally never happen.

Have they ever lost someone close to them, and how do they remember them? (Listen to old voicemails; look at old photos, etc.)

Not in death. I think she considers Frankie getting married a sort of loss though and she certainly hasn’t been mature about his choice of wife. There’s a little fear of abandonment in him moving away from the family, so do with that info what you will. She remembers him by being an annoying little sister and intruding on his life.

On the other hand, losing fellow Sovrani comes with the territory and while it can be infuriating, she was never close with them.

How many people has your character fucked?

It’s a lower number than you might think. She’s Catholic so there is a modicum of religious guilt mixed in with one-nighters and because of that, Giordana is actually a bit particular about the people she lets close enough to see her in such a vulnerable state.

Then you factor in the nature of her work/general attitude/quickly getting bored of people, all of which make it difficult to find a real connection. 

Generally speaking, people she goes home with are either meant to be a quick fix with minimal talking (so she doesn’t have to think), or she chooses them because of a weird, kindred spirit thing that she can’t put her finger on and the memory of that person bugs her for awhile. The latter happens very, very rarely.

Which reality TV show would your character best fit?

She would make a great demo girl on any house flipping show. Just give her a sledge hammer.

Most expensive pair of shoes they own?

Giordana’s style is classy and understated. She’s also very careful with money so the most expensive pair that she owns are black Jimmy Choo heels.

Go-to karaoke song, and can they sing it well?

She doesn’t do karaoke, but she’ll watch. If need be, she’ll do I Love Rock 'N Roll by Joan Jett & the Blackhearts because it’s easy.

Did they party in their younger years? What were they like, and where did they go?

Giordana joined the Sovrani as a teenager and spent a long time working her way up/building her reputation from scratch. So she never really had a stereotypical adolescence or early 20s, which means partying wasn’t her main priority during that time. 

Honestly she goes out more now at 30 and while that’s still fairly young, not having been in the scene during her formative years means she has some restraint to avoid going balls to the wall.

How many Disney/Disney Pixar movies has your character seen, and which is their favourite?

A good few and she really loves The Nightmare Before Christmas, Mulan, and Treasure Planet. Monsters, Inc is also one of the funniest movies she’s ever watched. Coco gets an honorable mention for being, in her opinion, the most beautiful Pixar film ever created.

Red Bull or Monster?

Red Bull, she’s not a 16 year old boy.

Has your character ever been to a music festival? Which? Did they enjoy it?

No. She considered trying Coachella at one point, but it seemed crowded and full of fake instagram girlies. So hard pass on that.

If you character had to gear up for a fight, what would they bring?

Giordana firmly believes that the most important thing you can bring to a fight is your mind. Weapons are useful, she herself would probably choose a shiv for the ease and it being lightweight, but nothing is more valuable or deadly than a person who can outwit somebody else in the middle of a brawl.

Who would they bring as their backup?

Giorgio or Rina. Vinnie if she must, but he’s a big time leader boy now and she would never risk him. More often than not, she’s his backup.

Who would your character kill/have assassinated if there were no consequences?

Melissa Lin. :)

What are their favourite three toppings for a pizza?

Spinach, mushroom, extra cheese.

How do they keep fit? What does their training regimen look like?

5 mile morning runs and she uses her home gym several times per week. Fitness is not something Giordana is willing to compromise or give up, in a fight it could mean the different between life or death.

Nutella or peanut butter?

Peanut butter.

Is your character married? If so, what was their wedding like? If not, how do they imagine their wedding will one day be?

She’s never been married and I don’t think she imagines it much at all. Giordana doesn’t get on with people or let them in very often so that makes the concept of marriage very abstract for her. On a deeper level, she also can’t fathom the idea of someone sticking around very long after knowing who and what she is. Nobody wants to marry a monster.

If they could visit any country in the world, which would it be?

Italy. Which is a cop out and she knows it, but I headcanon that she’s quite attached after visiting the country often in her youth, not just for the Sovrani. 

Which is their favourite of the countries they’ve already visited?

Giordana really loved a brief trip that she made to Costa Rica. It’s a special country.

What is their favourite cologne/perfume?

Yves Saint Laurent Black Opium.

Red wine or white wine?

Red, but she won’t turn her nose up at white.

Are they any good at playing Monopoly?

She’s the best cheater there is. Don’t let her be the bank.

Have they ever played a video game? Like Red Dead Redemption II, for example.

Does Mahjong on her phone count? Though I feel like she played DDR as a kid, don’t ask why.

What is their favourite type of weather to be stuck in?

Thunderstorm. She really, really loves the way that the sky changes color and the air feels charged with electricity.

Do they like living in London, or is their being here more of a necessity than a choice?

Absolute necessity, she would not have voluntarily relocated here on her own. Alas, she will go wherever Vincenzo does.

What’s the wildest thing that’s ever happened to them at an airport?

Being stalked by a Russian asset from security until her gate. Just barely made it. She also once had an 8 hour layover, which doesn’t sound that crazy but iykyk.

Have they ever been caught up in a natural disaster?

No, but I think she’d probably do well in a nightmare disaster scenario. Would she enjoy it? Not even a little. But she’d survive.

What is their usual coffee shop order?

She doesn’t drink coffee, she runs on spite.

Have they ever watched American Football? Did they think it was just rugby for bitches?

Well, IT IS. She thinks American Football has too many commercials, too many rules, and isn’t as exciting as rugby. (yes this is a biased answer)

If they had to join another mob (erasing their current affiliations entirely) which do you think your character would fit best?

As much as she loathes the idea of it, the Italians don’t call her their Russian for no reason. 😬

Has your character ever killed anyone? If so, what’s their kill count?

It is quite literally her job, but I don’t think she keeps a running tally because that’s weirdo behavior. 

If I had to assign a legitimate number and not say something ridiculously OP’d about her abilities/the reality of what it takes to efficiently kill a person without getting caught, the number is probably closing in on 75. Which is still very high all things considered.

Which is their favourite borough of London to spend time in?

Westminster? Idk she just got to London, but she likes that area.

Do they have any interesting /important family members or ancestors?

She wouldn’t know because she has no idea who she was before being adopted into the Rossi fam. So TBD on if that past becomes a factor in her future. :)

Who are your character’s top three celebrity crushes?

Amal Clooney, Hugh Jackman, and Harrison Ford (both young and old).

If mob affiliations didn’t exist, who would your character be most attracted to on the dash?

I’m including who she’s already attracted to, but alas... Gideon, Ayaz, Yvonne, Azra.

What’s the name of the first pet they owned, and what kind of animal was it?

A cat named Milo.

Do they have a former friendship they miss/wish they could revive?

Nope. She’s basically Spongebob with 3 friends drawn on her fingers.

[brewing-mischief]

Damien who has 100% bonded with Dan over murder and violence and seeing the dark side of life while also expected to act like normal teenagers when they are NOT are having a blast.

Menwhile Bruce/Dick/Jason/Tim are all INCREDIBLY concerned that Danny the 22 yearold librarian has a 5 and 14 year old kids he is biologically related too and who they call Dad. Like they meet Jazz while she was in a rush one time and asked if Dani and Dan were her siblings too and she said no, they're Danny's kids. Gotta go bye! And didnt think about the interaction ever again while Bruce/the older kids are getting more and more concerned.

Cause looking at those numbers Danny was NOT at the age of concent when the two of them were conceived. The Batfam is now desperately trying to secretly hijack their DNA to run tests and get child support for him cause Danny keeps making comments that he's on his own and he WON'T take the money Bruce keeps trying to give him! Even when he gives it anonymously, Danny knows its him and returns it!

So fine. If he wont take Bruce's money, Bruce is gonna make sure SOMEONE pays. Specifically whoever dumped these kids on him.

Damien is unfazed by all of this, 100% taking the "I'm a clone" explanation from Dani and a "I'm him from another timeline that will now never occur" from Dan as he himself (Damien) is a test-tube baby from a illuminati assassin league with a father that started the vigilante job.

Why dont Bruce/Dick/Jason/Tim take the clone theory?

1. Kids say stupid stuff all the time. Especially when playing imagination games. And older siblings will play along at times.

2. Hes just some guy. He's not like them, who are tied up with supervillains and underground courts. Why would someone clone him?

3. Cloning is EXPENSIVE (have you seen superboy's catmas set-up??) Damien, do you really think one man could just clone somebody? You need a whole team of scientists honey. AND even Superboy needed 2 doners. It's not like a human clone can be made from just ONE peice of DNA

The funniest thing is that the D-team is not even hidding it. Like yeah they're not gonna straight up tell strangers hey here's my life story, but if you ask and they trust you sure here's the truth. Sometimes they just say it anyway cause Danny is so tired and he knows no one believes him. Hes spent most of his term years lying about NOT being a half-ghost hero. Mabye hes just done telling lies

Bruce, observing Dani at the library while picking up Damian - "so...tell me, Mr. Nightingale is the mother in the picture?"

Danny - "Nah, Dani there was cloned from me when I was fourteen. She use to be a lot bigger but her ecto-signiture wacked out when we came here so now shes small."

Bruce Desperately trying to de code Danny's trama-truth for what actually happened. - "I see"

Dan, leaning back in his chair completely nonchalant-" I'm from another timeline where I murder more than half of humanity due to my lack of a soul, that I killed with my bear hands because it kept whining about our dead family."

Bruce, more concerned. Beliving this is a teen's attempt cope with real trama by villianizing himself though jokes - "do you have you're soul back now?"

Dan nearly falling off the chair and has to catch himself - "uh...I...dont know..."

Dan looks panicked at Danny who is now also looking suprised. Neither know. Cause hes 14. And 14 was when Dan killed himself and fused with Plasmius and wow now they have a lot of questions as to what this reset actually did. Like hes not as murderous as before but wow, um ok but like-

Danny, quickly showing the kids and Bruce out to avoid them seeing Dan freak out- "well it was so nice to meet you Mr. Wayne, Damien remember to return that library book you have due tomorrow and yes, John I will bring snacks tomorrow for the book club. Thanks so much yall! Bye!"

Bruce, convinced now more than ever of all the bad things the Nightingale family had to face before this and if they are still in danger. This is the first civillian friend Damien has ever had and by golly is he going to protect them

Prof. Danny Nightingale

Danny honestly has no idea how he became a science professor to a bunch of kids in Gotham University where he works as a librarian...

Danny Nightingale is a 22 year old librarian who has been working at Gotham University for nearly 2 months now. he is currently raising a 5 year old de-aged (or not up to you) Dani, who prefers to be called that in order to start confusion and chaos, and a re-formed 14 year old Dan (he's stuck in a kids body or aging up slowly is up to you) who is attending Gotham U (maybe he's in the same class as Damian and they bond about stabbing??)

And even though Danny's just a librarian but after helping some kids with their science homework and protecting them in a rouge attacks, he's practically formed a club for any kid who needs help with anything, but mostly science and mental stability, Danny should really thank Jazz for all those lectures...

tag me if this gets used cuz I wanna read!!

[wilwheaton]

For anyone who genuinely doesn't understand why I feel as strongly as I do about people like Chapelle making transphobic comments that are passed off as jokes, I want to share a story that I hope will help you understand, and contextualize his behavior. When I was sixteen, I played ice hockey almost every night at a local rink. I was a goalie, and they always needed goalies, so I could show up, put on my gear, and just wait for some team to call me onto the ice. It was a lot of fun. One night, I'd played a couple hours of pickup with some really great dudes. They were friendly, they were funny, they enjoyed the game, they treated me like I was part of their team. They welcomed me. After we were finished, we were all in the locker room getting changed into our regular clothes. Before I tell you what happened next, I want to talk specifically about comedy and how much I loved it when I was growing up. I listened to records and watched comedy specials whenever I could. One of the definitive comedy specials for me and my friends was Eddie Murphy's Delirious, from 1983. It had bits that still kill me. The ice cream song, aunt Bunny falling down the stairs, mom throwing the shoe. Really funny stuff. There is also extensive homophobic material that is just fucking appalling and inexcusable. Long stretches of this comedy film are devoted to mocking gay people, using the slur that starts with F over and over and over. Young Wil, who watched this with his suburban white upper middle class friends, in his privileged bubble, thought it was the funniest, edgiest, dirtiest thing he'd ever heard. It KILLED him. And all of it was dehumanizing to gay men. All of it was cruel. All of it was bigoted. All of it was punching down. And I didn't know any better. I accepted the framing, I developed a view of gay men as predatory, somehow less than straight men, absolutely worthy of mockery and contempt. Always good for a joke, though. Let me put this another way: A comedian who I thought was one of the funniest people on the planet totally normalized making a mockery of gay people, and because I was a privileged white kid, raised by privileged white parents, there was nobody around me to challenge that perception. For much of my teen years, I was embarrassingly homophobic, and it all started with that comedy special. Let's go back to that locker room. So I'm talking with these guys, and we're all just laughing and having a good time. We're doing that sports thing where you talk about the great plays, and feel like you're part of something special. And then, without even realizing what I was doing, that awful word came out of my mouth. "Blah blah blah F****t," I said. The room fell silent and that's when I realized every single guy in this room was gay. They were from a team called The Blades (amazing) and I had just ... really fucked up. "Do you have any gay friends?" One of them asked me, gently. "Yes," I said, defensively. Then, I lied, "they say that all the time." I was so embarrassed and horrified. I realized I had basically said the N word, in context, and I didn't know what to do. I wanted to disappear. I wanted to apologize, I wanted to beg forgiveness. But I was a stupid sixteen year-old with pride and ignorance and fear all over myself, so I lied to try and get out of it. "They must not love themselves very much," he said, with quiet disappointment. Nobody said another word to me. I felt terrible. I shoved my gear into my bag and left as quickly as I could. That happened over 30 years ago, and I think about it all the time. I'm mortified and embarrassed and so regretful that I said such a hurtful thing. I said it out of ignorance, but I still said it, and I said it because I believed these men, who were so cool and kind and just like all the other men I played with (I was always the youngest player on the ice) were somehow less than ... I guess everyone. Because that had been normalized for me by culture and comedy. A *huge* part of that normalization was through entertainment that dehumanized gay men in the service of "jokes". And as someone who thought jokes were great, I accepted it. I mean, nobody was making fun of *ME* that way, and I was the Main Character, so... I doubt very much that any of those men would be reading this today, but if so: I am so sorry. I deeply, profoundly, totally regret this. I've spent literally my entire life since this happened making amends and doing my best to be the strongest ally I can be. I want to do everything I can to prevent another kid from believing the same bigotry I believed, because I was ignorant and privileged. So this stuff that Chapelle did? That all these Cishet white men are so keen to defend? I believe them when they say that it's not a big deal. Because it's not a big deal TO CISHET WHITE DUDES. But for a transgender person, those "jokes" normalize hateful, ignorant, bigoted behavior towards them. Those "jokes" contribute to a world where transgender people are constantly under threat of violence, because transgender people have been safely, acceptably, dehumanized. And it's all okay, because they were dehumanized by a Black man. And the disingenuous argument that it's actually racist to hold Chapelle accountable for this? Get the fuck out of here. I love dark humor. I love smart, clever jokes that make us think, that challenge authority, that make powerful people uncomfortable. I don't need a lecture from some dude in wraparound sunglasses and a "git 'er done" tank top about how I don't understand comedy and I need to stick to acting. I don't need a First Amendment lecture from someone who doesn't understand the concept of consequences for exercising speech the government can't legally prohibit. Literally every defense of Chapelle's "jokes" centers white, cishet men and our experience at the expense of people who have to fight with every breath simply to exist in this world. Literally every queer person I know (and I know a LOT) is hurt by Chapelle's actions. When literally every queer person I know says "this is hurtful to me", I'm going to listen to them and support them, and not tell them why they are wrong, as so many cishet white men do. If you're inclined to disregard queer voices, especially as they relate to this specific topic, I encourage you to reflect on your choices and think about who you listen to and why. Too many of my fellow cishet white men are reducing this to some abstract intellectual exercise, which once again centers our experience at the expense of people who are genuinely threatened by the normalization of their "less than" or "outsider" status. Thirty years ago, I centered myself and was appallingly hurtful as a result. I was sixteen and didn't know any better. I still regret it. Frankly, a whole lot of people I blocked should feel the same shame about what they said TODAY that I feel for something I did three decades ago when I was sixteen and didn't know any better. But they don't, and that is why people like me need to keep using our voices to speak up and speak out.

[wiredalienvampire]

OK so, my thoughts on the don't hug me I'm scared tv series (warning for spoilers)

I don't know how to fully organize them so I'll just start with my biggest thought

The characters (specifically the main 3) are much more fleshed out and have more defines personalities and while it's much different than the original series and was much different than I thought it would be I still love how they're characterized. They're assholes who share a brain cell but at the same time you get the idea that they still care about each other no matter how often they bicker and fight?? U know with how red guy interacts with yellow during the car scene when he was talking about living in a community in episode 5, yellow guy and red guy grieving over duck in episode 2, that one fucking scene when red guy and duck guy say they like looking at each other in 6...love wins/hj. Sure it's mainly the trio being assholes for the sake of comedy but idk those moments kinda tell me that they secretly care about one another. When it comes to the individual trio themselves they're wonderful, duck guy is this fussy unhinged chipper asshole and is the funniest character of this series,every time he yells or says something out of left field in episode 2, it always kills me I love him. Red guy is an absolute blorbo, he's much more different than he was in the YouTube series,he has more emotion and enthusiasm in his voice instead of being monotone and bored sounding which felt surreal to hear but I got used to it pretty quickly,its still deep and calm sounding but I don't mind the change, he has a similar wacky quirk to him like the other 2 characters but is still more of a middle man and is much nicer than them,he's pretty dorky,weirdly friendly and just really laid back and awkward,and I love him <3, I loved him in the YouTube series and I love him even more in the tv show. Yellow guy is an interesting case,he's kind of a punching bag when it comes to some of the shows jokes especially when it comes to the trio but hsi personality is much more close to his pilot counterpart, he's naive,innocent and child like but has a sense of edge to him like when he literally hit duck with broken glass the end of ep 4, he's also more blunt? I love him alot and his role in the 6th episode is something I think about alot.. if you know then u know..

Another thing I wanna talk about is pretty much the tone and changes the tv show has in contrast to the web series

This series is more focused on comedy with the banter between the cast and also the surreal humor being put up to 11 which is the best parts of the show, its much more fast paced and wacky which is super entertaining, it still had the horror from the original series and while I perfer the more eerie horror of the web show the tv show is amazingly terrifying,it's much more gory and you get this sense of dread when your further in the episode and it really makes you uncomfortable at points like the end of episode 5 or just the entirety of episode 2,like Roy being implied to have cannibalized the family in the end is genuinely scary like Jesus christ 😭. I appreciate how it kept the spirit of the show in general even if it's much different than its counterpart and it just feels like don't hug me I'm scared.

And I also wanna talk about the production value of the show and God is it amazing

I love the different art mediums the show uses,like 2d animation,stop motion, claymation,it makes the series much more unique and it's just so well done, the set design is great, and everyone looks so colorful it makes me so happy, off topic is but I love the references and fanservice the show gives like teacher cameos and references to iconic lines from the web show, like pesky bee, the old teachers like tony,Colin, the fucking lamp, and even the steak guy at one point,it's fun Easter eggs for fans while also being enjoyable for newcomers, everything looks so polished.

And last thing I wanna talk about is the story, like the original show,shit hits the fan during the later episodes but are hinted with the continuous shenanigans with the teachers, it starts getting real with episode 5 and I genuinely got really invested,wondering what will happen next and man the ending is something I won't stop thinking about aside from the scene with the gay puppets, I wanna know more about Lesley and how the whole thing shoe does works because she seems so interesting and I hope that they're would be more episodes so we could know more about her

So those are my thoughts on the series, tldr it's freaking wonderful and worth the 6 years of waiting,it might have alot of differences from the web series but there's something for fans like myself to enjoy! I loved it alot and I'm just so happy this show got to see the light of day <3

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 325: Deku VS the Outside of U.A. ~Conclusion~

Previously on BnHA: Ochako was all “dear bloodthirsty mob, this kid you see standing before you has fought harder than anyone and put his life on the line to protect you all, so please chill the fuck out, jesus christ. like, putting aside that he’s humanity’s best hope and so it’s very much in your best interests to let him rest and recover someplace safe so that he can keep fighting for us, are y’all seriously going to turn away an injured and exhausted child in front of his sobbing mother?? seriously?? come on now.” I’m paraphrasing here but that’s basically how it went down. Anyway so then the mob was all, “...” and Deku collapsed to his knees in tears, and Gigantic Fox Lady and Kouta ran over to give him a hug but then the chapter ended.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi is all “FINE, YOU CAN HUG HIM”, which, was that so hard?? The U.A. Clown Mob is all “come to think of it, we’ve kind of been taking the heroes for granted this entire time, maybe we should be less passive in the future. anyway so Deku if it’s not too much to ask, can you please save everyone and fix everything.” Deku is all “I sure can, and by the way I forgive you for swarming around all menacingly two minutes ago and trying to deny me basic shelter and stuff.” Ectoplasm is all, “hey Todogang get a load of this. [walks in a circle].” Hawks is all, “that’s literally the greatest thing I’ve ever seen.” Rat Principal is all, “anyway so that’s what your students did today, hope you’re enjoying your new *~*ROBOT LEG*~*, Aizawa.” Aizawa is all “[lots of exposition about Kurogiri and for some reason, Toga, while being all brooding and sexy].” All Might is all “[standing here right outside of U.A. doing absolutely nothing and being foreboding AF]” and that immediately sucked away all of the warm fuzzy feelings from the hugs, goddammit.

each new week has become a waiting game of “when will Deku finally get to take a bath so people will actually be willing to go near him and give him the hugs he deserves.” the stakes have never been so compelling. I’ve almost forgotten about AFO entirely

lmaoooooo

me: for the love of god will someone please give Deku a hug before I die of old age

Mineta: YOU GOT IT!! --

Iida: [SWIFTLY CUTS HIM OFF] NOT YOU

fucking losing it at Mineta’s crying face. he really wanted to hug him. I legit feel bad but this is also the funniest thing I have seen all week, omg

somehow Kouta, who last week was only a hand’s breadth away from touching Deku’s head, is now twenty miles away from him in this new chapter

can I make a Loki reference here. is this recap a good place to insert a joke about someone using a TVA time-rewinding device to fuck with my poor boy Kouta over here. well anyway there it is

AND NOW HE’S BACK ALL OF A SUDDEN OMG

(ETA: since when is he “niichan” omg?? can’t handle this cuteness.)

BUT THEY’RE STILL NOT HUGGING HIM FFFFKFFFFF. WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO. WHO DO I HAVE TO BRIBE AND/OR BLACKMAIL

OH NO KOUTA IS CRYING THAT’S IT I’M DONE FOR

“when I heard that lady I knew that I had to go, but then stop again within inches of actually touching you because you smell like week-old rotten onions.” listen Kouta, I’m not saying I don’t get it, but you all can’t keep doing this to me. it’s the way you guys keep teasing it. like, if you’re gonna hug him, hug him. don’t just stand there with your arms held rigidly out in front of you like a molded action figure

OH MY GOSH BUT HE SAID THE THING

KOUTA SWOOPING IN AT THE LAST MINUTE TO TAKE ALL THE CREDIT FOR FIXING DEKU LIKE THAT ONE KID IN THE GROUP PROJECT WHO DOES ABSOLUTELY NOTHING BUT STILL TAGS HIS NAME ONTO THE REPORT ANYWAY, WHAT A KNAVE

GASP

(  ´͈ ᗨ `͈ )

SHE PICKED HIM UP LIKE A LITTLE BABY OMG?? she just leaned right over and lifted this child like he was a small animal. like a lil baby futon that she was about to hang up to dry. oh my god

-- HEY WHAT

(: well that’s extremely fucked up. though sadly not too surprising given what we just saw these past couple chapters

incidentally, I hope that anyone who was legitimately defending the civilians’ perspective earlier takes note here of how quickly that line of thinking -- “we’re just trying to keep our families safe” and all that-- can lead to straight up bigotry. if you’re willing to deny a child shelter and protection simply because he’s not YOUR child, and because you’ve decided based on Internet rumors (no real-world parallels there, I’m sure) that he might present a threat, it’s really not that much further of a leap to discriminating against entire groups of people simply because you perceive those groups as being dangerous. I’m sure the people who turned Gigantic Fox Lady away also told themselves afterwards that they did it to protect their families. “better safe than sorry.” “she’ll be fine, someone will take her in, but as for us, we can’t afford to take that risk.” people can come up with all kinds of justifications for treating other people as less than human, and the really scary thing about it is how fucking easy it is

one last quick side note, which is that Horikoshi does a great job here of showing how scapegoating works, given that AFO is the one who’s really to blame and who presents the actual threat, and yet Deku is the one who ultimately winds up being the target of the mob’s fear and outrage despite him being as much of a victim as they are. gotta love that irony, which unfortunately plays out far too often in the real world as well.

anyway I’ll get off my soapbox now, sorry about that. let us continue

YES, FINALLY OH MY GOD!!!!

AND THAT’S THE STORY OF HOW GIGANTIC FOX LADY BECAME THE GREATEST HERO. PACK IT ALL UP, WE’RE DONE HERE KIDS

holy shit. the real MVP right there. thanks for getting it done champ

jesus christ I have had it up to here with these people

literally the bar is set so low at this point that I’ll go ahead and take it. helping him because it offers them a tactical advantage is at least one step up from not helping him at all

“WHY NOT SHIKETSU” MOTHERFUCKER I SWEAR TO GOD

-- thank you!!

okay this one guy with the antennae hair is having himself a character development speedrun here

-- okay, but this part?? fucking this part, right here??

can we repeat that again?? the part where this guy acknowledges that the problems of hero society were caused not just by said heroes, but also by said society?? the part where he acknowledges that they treated the heroes like celebrities who were putting on a show for them?? the part where he acknowledges that when push came to shove, the vast majority of those heroes, when faced with a situation that offered no reward, were nonetheless willing to put their lives on the line to protect the very same people who then turned around and blamed them rather than thanking them?? are the civilians of BnHA even allowed to have actual deep thoughts about this stuff. holy shit

bro!!

ANTENNAE HAIR GUY SHOVING KOUTA AND GIGANTIC FOX LADY OUT OF THE WAY TO SLAP HIS NAME ONTO THE END CREDITS AS EXECUTIVE PRODUCER. CONGRATULATIONS SON YOU FIGURED OUT THE CORE PHILOSOPHICAL QUESTION AT THE VERY HEART OF THE MANGA. WAY TO GO BUD

meanwhile, on today’s episode of “one more chapter to go till the big volume cliffhanger, how else can I drag things out let’s see”

it’s a panel. of people’s feet. just a bunch of normal feet. with sneakers and shit

this All Might shirt guy is getting more screentime in this arc than 90% of the class 1-A kids

I guess I’m supposed to feel sorry for this dude now that he’s all “if we let you stay here do you promise to somehow magically fix every single problem that we are now currently facing?” those are some ridiculously exacting standards my dude. come on now

KACCHAN SIGHTING

thank fuck I’m not the only one who’s thoroughly unimpressed by absolutely all of this lol. I feel better now. meanwhile Iida and Kouda and Kiri are ready to run over there and hug them all. you guys are way too forgiving. damn you and your pure hearts

anyway so Deku’s like “yeah, definitely”

(ETA: almost forgot to comment on the “I’m no longer alone” part – he basically corrects the guy and says “sorry, but you’ll need to direct that question towards all of us, not just me, because moving forward we’re a team.” good stuff.)

you know what though, all joking aside... fuck yeah. because perfect victory, right. the strongest guys don’t settle for anything less. so I guess Deku has pretty exacting standards himself

also can you all just take a look at this fucking kid who’s got so much light in his eyes now that I’m gonna need eclipse goggles. hot damn. “you’re welcome” says All Might Shirt Guy as he is frantically interviewed by several local news networks asking him how he daringly managed to save Deku all by himself. “well I guess I’ve just never been the kind of guy who can sit back and let a bunch of rabble-rousers blame a little kid for all of humanity’s problems. someone had to step in and take action, you know?”

oH MY GOD THE SCENE IS FINALLY ENDING

don’t let the door hit you on your way out All Might Shirt Guy

but meanwhile, sudden Tododrama action??

oh shit

there are honestly so many ways in which Ochako’s very moving speech could have wildly backfired that I genuinely have no clue where this is headed lol. how exciting!!

so now Horikoshi is once again stalling for time with random filler panels, but this one is 10x better than the shoes lol omg

(1) was Ectoplasm’s jacket always this oversized. (2) did you guys know that if you go back to chapter 319 you can see that Horikoshi gave us a sneak peak at Enji’s Sad Detective disguise and I in fact made a joke about it in the 319 recap not realizing it was actually the stone cold truth. (3) did Shouto deliberately speed up out of impatience because Hawks was walking so fucking slow and he couldn’t take it any longer. (4) and what, I ask you, is up with these dramatic speedlines. so many mysteries here. what a masterpiece

everyone is acting all shocked about something ahh what’s going on

wait what

what the heck. did they just loop around behind everyone. what was the point of that lol. “anyway, so this is what they look like from the back” well okay, thanks for that Ectoplasm

(ETA: so it seems like they were actually hanging out someplace else away from the crowd this whole time, I guess? here I thought they had more faith in Enji’s disguise. I guess Shouto and Hawks don’t particularly want to attract this crowd’s attention themselves right now either, though.)

I am so fucking confused lmao

speaking of All Might WHERE THE FUCK IS HE lol. but yes, good, OFA brings everyone together, and Hawks is very deeply moved about this out of the blue all of a sudden. you know how it is

aw heck yeah now this is another filler panel I can get behind

Mineta really wants that hug, good lord. I genuinely love this actually. Mineta if you could just stay little and cute and keep crying about how much you love your classmates in a non-gross way for the rest of the series I would be so appreciative. you’re doing great

IIDA IS HOLDING DEKU’S HAND THIS IS NOT A DRILL. ONE TIME WASN’T ENOUGH FOR MY MAN HE’S ADDICTED NOW

what did I tell you. Kiri wants to get all of the mob’s autographs now. Kiri you’re a peach

Shouji having a conversation with another mutant type is a very nice touch! we really need to get to his backstory soon. I feel like that casual remark from GFL earlier was kind of hinting at more to come

is this the first time we’ve ever seen the Yaoyorictionary in action?? never forget that Viz tried to call it the “Yaoyorozu Reference Book” because they hate fun

last but not least, KAMIBAKU IS BACK ON THE MENU, FUCK YEAH. Kaminari trying to spice things up and introduce a little bit of controversy by smacking Kacchan on the back of the head for god knows what. I will be deeply disappointed after this if I can’t find at least one person unironically declaring that KamiBaku is now toxic and abusive

lfkdlWLWK TODODRAMA??

oh my god. Shouto’s face. Enji’s face. the back to “oyaji” again. the blunt, not-taking-no-for-an-answer, “I don’t know how much louder the universe can scream at you that doing things alone is not it, so hopefully you got the point” directness of it. fffdlkslj I’m so ready for this Horikoshi please don’t fuck it up my expectations are so high

HOLY FUCK

I SCROLLED DOWN AND HE WAS ALL “( ❛‿❛)” AND I JUST WASN’T FUCKING EXPECTING THAT OKAY. JESUS CHRIST. GIVE ME A SEC

lol okay moment over and now Enji’s pulling his hat down all dramatically like a world-weary Cowboy

OH MY GOD WERE YOU FACETIMING??

AHHHHHHHHH

(ETA: not to put Iida down or anything, but it’s kind of strange that Aizawa is all “the class rep sure did great” when Ochako is the one that was giving that whole big speech for like twenty minutes just now lol.)

(ETA 2: “thank god Iida stepped in just in the nick of time to keep Mineta from hugging Deku.” sorry Mineta I really do like you lately but it’s still low-hanging fruit lol.)

HE LOOKS SO SAD??! HE LOOKS LIKE HEARTBREAK ITSELF??! I AM BESOUGHT WITH THE URGE TO REACH INTO MY SCREEN AND PULL HIM INTO THE SAFETY OF MY ARMS??? MY GOD, AND I THOUGHT DEKU NEEDED HUGS

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH okay I was gonna just hold down the letter H for a full minute and count it out loud but within about ten seconds I realized I needed to chill lol

-- but then again NO, I DON’T NEED TO CHILL, I HAVE ZERO CHILL, ACTUALLY, BECAUSE IT’S AIZAWA WITH A ROBOT LEG AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

COMPLETE WITH ROBOT TOES FOR THAT EXTRA TOUCH OF AUTHENTICITY!! I LIKE HOW HORIKOSHI PUT ALL THIS EXTRA “!!!” EMPHASIS AROUND IT IN CASE WE COULD SOMEHOW POSSIBLY FAIL TO TAKE NOTICE. “REMEMBER, EVERYONE?” SAYS HORIKOSHI HELPFULLY. “REMEMBER THAT TIME AIZAWA CHOPPED OFF HIS OWN LEG?” oh wow now that you mention it we somehow forgot all about that. like who do you take us for

OH NO NOT THE SAD BOYFRIEND ANGST THAT I WAS SECRETLY LOOKING FORWARD TO WITH GLEE

well at least he’s not M.I.A. or back with the villains again like I thought he might be. still, that’s gotta be brutal to know your friend is in there somewhere, but to not be able to reach him again no matter how hard you try. that’s the kind of angst that pays off in final battles just when you most expect it. such is my hope, at any rate

what’s this now??

trying to decide if this is Horikoshi’s way of saying don’t worry about that, or his way of saying definitely worry about that lol

anyway so Aizawa is out here being all irresponsibly handsome once again. when is someone going to do something about him

here for Sexy Robot Leg Eyepatch Aizawa clenching his fists and making speeches about revenge. pretty sure we’re all here for that

WELL, WELL, WELL

IT’S ABOUT FUCKING TIME

I’M VERY GLAD YOU’RE ALIVE AND SEEMINGLY WELL, THOUGH!

BUT WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK THOUGH, ALL MIGHT

ffff. bracing myself for that cliffhanger next week. you’d better not touch one hair on this man’s head Horikoshi. I’m watching you 

[robininthelabyrinth]

3. I have no idea if this time line would work, but MYX and XY get attached to each other, so when the time comes that MYX and XY need to leave Koi Tower, JGY helps them get married in secret and run away to Dongu. Anyways, a few years latter, JGY has a kid that needs to go and people in a removed location that owe him favors! Isn’t that a wonderful combination! A Jin(?) Rusong raised by Uncles Mo and Xue, or whatever they go by these days, would be very chaotic. Bonus: they start a relatively safe demonic cultivation sect, maybe with some guidance from the Nie (has NMJ never been killed by the Jin in this Au?), or more specifically, Huaisang. SL and XXC who got a happy ending decide to check out this no blood line sect (it looks slightly dubious, but surely can’t be to bad! Right?) A-Qing at least is enjoying her new friend -🟪🦋

Should Have Been Listening - ao3

“Let go of me.”

“I won’t,” Mo Xuanyu said, clutching Xue Yang’s arm. “I won’t, I won’t! You’re my only friend here!”

Xue Yang looked down at him in what he thought was mostly exasperation, but might have also been a little fondness – after all, if it’d been anyone else who’d grabbed him, he’d have stabbed them.

He still didn’t know why he didn’t stab Mo Xuanyu, too, but in all honesty, he wasn’t that interested in exploring it. He did what he wanted, and right now, he didn’t want to murder Mo Xuanyu.

Irritating as he sometimes was.

“Little brat,” he said. “I have important business to go do.”

“It’s not something that he ordered, though!”

“So what?” Xue Yang bristled. “I don’t just do what hetells me!”

“But that means he won’t cover for you, and that means you’ll get in trouble!” Mo Xuanyu argued. “How can I let you go all alone to get in trouble? You have to take me with you! What will you do without me? Who’ll keep you entertained and sneak sweets for you if not for me?”

Xue Yang’s lips twitched. Okay, maybe there was a reason he kept the brat around.

“You don’t understand,” he said. “This is something I’ve got to do – something I’ve wanted to do for a long time. I’m going to kill a lot of people and get into a lot of trouble, more trouble than ever before. I’ll probably lose my life. How can I possibly take you with me?”

Mo Xuanyu scowled up at him. It was a very weak scowl – barely more than a pout. “You think that’s going to make me not want to come with you?”

Xue Yang’s eyebrows went up. “You cry at the sight of blood!”

“I cry at a lot of things!”

Xue Yang wasn’t sure how to respond to that. It was true, Mo Xuanyu cried at a lot of things.

“Maybe if I come with you, it won’t be so bad!”

Yeeeeah, Xue Yang wasn’t going to count on that.

“Or maybe you don’t have to go…?”

“I have to go,” he explained. “If I don’t go, I can’t get revenge, and I have to have revenge.”

Mo Xuanyu blinked up at him.

“I don’t really understand, but okay,” he said, and tugged on his arm. “Let’s go together, then. I promise I won’t cry!”

-

He cried.

He cried a lot.

-

“Stop fucking crying.”

-

“Just – ugh. Listen. You’re ruining the mood.”

-

“If you can’t stop crying, go away. Now. Or I’ll stab you!”

-

“Okay, see, look, I just killed the leaders, see? Just the old men. Everyone else is just locked in their rooms. Once the sect leader comes back, I’ll kill him too, and that’ll be all. Okay? Everyone else lives. I promise. Now stop crying, okay?”

-

“I don’t want to know,” Jin Guangyao said when they got back. “I don’t want to know at all.”

“Good,” Xue Yang grumbled. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Enough people heard about the reason for what you did that opinions are mixed as to whether your actions were the Chang clan’s just rewards for their former misdeeds or if they were actually wrong,” Jin Guangyao said. He looked irritated. “But you still killed high-ranking members of a sect, and you left enough alive that they’re demanding your head on a platter. You’re going to need to run away.”

Mo Xuanyu hesitantly gestured as if he wished to speak.

“Yes, you can go with him. Now that my father is dead, no one cares where you are.”

Mo Xuanyu beamed.

“You’re just going to let us go?” Xue Yang asked suspiciously. “That seems unlike you. What’s in it for you?”

“Oh, I’m not just going to let you go. I’m going to give you money, too,” Jin Guangyao said. “And all you need to do for me is one little tiny favor –”

Pity that that was when Xue Yang stopped listening, too busy staring at Mo Xuanyu’s delighted face and counting all the way he was in for it now.

-

“I’ve always wanted to take care of a baby,” Mo Xuanyu said happily.

“Good for you,” Xue Yang said darkly as he stalked through the streets.

He would rather that Jin Guangyao had needed a body buried and a death covered up or something – and judging by the baby’s perturbed expression, it probably agreed with him. Fuck, maybe Jin Guangyao had meant for them to murder the baby once they got it far enough out of the way. It was just as plausible as Mo Xuanyu's assumption that they were supposed to take care of it.

Damnit, maybe he should have been listening.

“Listen, neither of us are equipped to handle a baby. Go find a woman to help us – someone poor and helpless who doesn’t have any other choice.”

“Okay!”

-

Xue Yang shut his eyes. “What exactly,” he said slowly, “did you think I asked you to get us a woman for, exactly?”

“To…watch the baby?” Mo Xuanyu guessed. “When we’re busy or sleeping? Anyway, what’s wrong with A-Qing, anyway? She’s nice!”

“I’m not nice,” A-Qing said. The damn brat was smirking – and for once it wasn’t his damn brat, but some blind brat with a cocky expression. “I stole your wallet and you burst into tears and it was really embarrassing.”

“He does that,” Xue Yang said wearily. At least he’d noticed the theft this time – all of his lessons in ‘how not to be a sucker and get constantly taken advantage of’ were maybe having something of an impact. Maybe. “For some reason I’m apparently into it.”

He couldn’t explain it any other way.

“…loser.”

“I will stab you,” Xue Yang threatened. “I don’t care if you’re blind.”

“Won’t someone tell me why A-Qing isn’t a perfectly good babysitter?” Mo Xuanyu demanded. He was holding the baby in his arms again – the baby liked him more than it did Xue Yang, which meant that between Mo Xuanyu and the baby, the baby had better self-preservation instincts – and he was trying his best stern scowl which was of course barely more than a pout and a so-called ‘fierce’ expression that made Xue Yang want to laugh.

Not even Mo Xuanyu’s horrific make-up skills could make thatface intimidating. Or maybe it was just that the person behind the face was just so completely unthreatening that there was no help for it?

“Well? Tell me!”

Xue Yan opened his mouth, then shrugged and shut it again.

A-Qing patted Mo Xuanyu on the shoulder. “I’m too young. No milk.”

“…milk?”

“You know. The thing babies eat?”

“…milk,” Mo Xuanyu repeated, only now he looked absolutely heartbroken at having failed the mission that Xue Yang had assigned him almost entirely just to get him out of the way while Xue Yang collected some spare cash and threatened their way onto a ride out of this piece of shit town.

“It’s fine,” Xue Yang said hastily. “We’ll just get a goat or something, I don’t know.”

“Okay, I actually only came here to laugh at you,” A-Qing said. “But now I’m legitimately worried about this baby. Don’t you two know anything? How’d you even get a baby, anyway?”

-

“Stop laughing. It’s not that funny.”

-

“Seriously. Stop laughing, or I stab you.”

“Don’t worry, A-Qing,” Mo Xuanyu said. “He doesn’t mean it! Threats are just how he expresses affection!”

“It most certainly is not.”

“That is absolutely amazing,” A-Qing said, wiping her eyes. “Best thing I’ve ever heard., if by best I mean worse-but-hilarious. I mean. If that’s what he considers affection, what must his flirting be like?”

“No one is flirting with anyone!”

-

“Are you going to leave at some point?”

“Obviously not,” A-Qing said. She’d caught the same ride as them, using Xue Yang’s cash no less – Mo Xuanyu had insisted that it was the least they could do after the whole milk misunderstanding, which was stupid, she ought to be paying them for wasting their time. Xue Yang couldn’t wait to get rid of her, although he had to admit that she’d been pretty useful in terms of putting on the ‘poor sad blind girl and her two brothers all alone in the world’ act to get them a room at the inn at prices even Xue Yang felt comfortable paying. “Are you joking? This is so much funnier than walking by myself. Anyway, I enjoy watching people crash and burn.”

“Aren’t you too young to be such a bitch?” Xue Yang hissed. “And, I don’t know, blind?”

“You know what I mean.”

“I don’t care what you –”

The sound of crying came from the other room.

It was quickly followed by a second set of crying.

Xue Yang felt the onset of a headache.

“…truce?” A-Qing suggested sweetly, as if she knew exactly how much it pissed him off and thought it was the funniest thing ever, which was…probably accurate, actually. “I’ll get the baby to stop crying if you do the same with Mo Xuanyu.”

Yeah, that was definitely a headache. The sort of headache called why do I like that brat.

Mo Xuanyu owed him so much candy for putting up with this shit.

“Fine,” Xue Yang said begrudgingly. “Truce. Temporarily. And then you leave!”

-

“So we live here now, huh?” A-Qing said, looking around the house they’d claimed. “That’s neat.”

“Why do you live with us again?” Xue Yang asked her, though by now he barely even meant it. A-Qing was clearly another one in the same mold as Mo Xuanyu: you just couldn’t say no to her…or, rather, you could, at length and top volume and with threats, only it just didn’t stick. “I definitely did not recall asking you to stay.”

Though it was nice to have someone else around that wasn’t going to get immediately ripped off by literally anyone who came their way. Mo Xuanyu’d started getting conned by the literal infant that they were taking care of – he was completely hopeless.

Also, questionably blind or not, at least A-Qing had no hesitation about beating people with her stick if they struck her the wrong way, which was a life approach Xue Yang agreed with wholeheartedly.

“She’s going to learn to cultivate!” Mo Xuanyu chirped from where he was applying his make-up. “Demonic cultivation, too! We had a whole discussion about it while you were out getting groceries!”

That made a certain amount of sense, Xue Yang supposed. You didn’t need talent to be a demonic cultivator – technically speaking, given his bloodline, Mo Xuanyu was more naturally gifted in cultivation than Xue Yang, which was just wrong on all sorts of levels – and it was certainly more effective a defense mechanism than A-Qing’s stick. If there were two of them, they could protect Mo Xuanyu and the baby more effectively, taking shifts when needed, and Mo Xuanyu, who was also going to learn demonic cultivation no matter how many times Xue Yang had to hammer it into his head, could be the last line of defense, largely since no one would ever expect him to be able to do…anything…and they’d be right, too.

So it wasn’t the craziest idea in the world, only…

“…who is she going to be learning from, exactly!?”

-

“Have you ever considered charging for your skill in teaching cultivation lessons instead of your skill in stabbing people?” A-Qing asked one day. They were lying on the ground and having the corpses they’d raised fan them to try to reduce the temperature – it was that sort of day. Also, Mo Xuanyu, who might’ve objected, wasn’t around. “You’re not actually that bad at this. Might be more profitable, and less work. Just a thought.”

“Shut up. I’m great at stabbing people.”

“Yeah, but then after a while we have to move because people get annoyed at that, and it’s getting a little annoying to have to pack up all the time.”

“We’d have to move anyway. We’re wanted criminals, remember?”

“We could be wanted criminals with a house. Besides, wouldn’t you like to be called Teacher Xue?”

“What? No. Gross.”

-

“So you see, it turns out that they were teaching demonic cultivation in a safe and organized fashion,” Xiao Xingchen explained enthusiastically. “They’d even gathered up their own little sect! And of course everyone heard what the Chang clan did, so there’s no need to worry about them going around and murdering people at random – it was a targeted revenge scheme.”

“We’re working on teaching them regular cultivation,” Song Lan agreed, nodding. “To help mitigate the negative effects of demonic cultivation…well, we started out by just teaching them.”

“It turned out that they’d been secretly teaching all of the local delinquents, too, or at least Mo-gongzi had been teaching a few and Mistress Qing was teaching a few others, and even Sect Leader Xue had a few disciples,” Xiao Xingchen said, politely omitting or possibly having not noticed the fact that Mo Xuanyu had been teaching his ‘friends’ (read: scammers trying to take advantage of him), while A-Qing and Xue Yang had each been trying to form competing gangs and/or obtain lackeys. Xue Yang didn’t mind the oversight, largely on account of the fact that A-Qing had been winning, damn her – he’d kept getting distracted by inventing new things. “And a few of them had real talent – and you know that Zichen and I have always wanted to start a sect of our own, with no bloodline ties –”

“We’re joining their sect,” Song Lan said. “We’ll be leading the orthodox side, while they lead the demonic cultivation aspect – safely, of course.”

“I guess it’s better than them being crazy,” Jiang Cheng said. He sounded dubious. “I don’t like it, but at least all the demonic cultivators can be in one spot, you know?”

He made it sound like they’d be dropping off new ones there in the future.

Like they’d opened up some sort of pet rescue and were taking in unwanted puppies or something.

“Agreed,” Nie Mingjue said. “To the extent that they aren’t causing active harm, containment seems an appropriate remedy here. Who seconds the motion?”

“I do,” Lan Xichen said, and smiled at the newly agreed-upon sect. “Welcome back to the cultivation world, Sect Leader Xue.”

-

“I don’t want to know,” Jin Guangyao said, glaring.

“Don’t worry,” Xue Yang told him. “This comes as much of a shock to me as to you.”

The glare intensified, but that was fine. Jin Guangyao’s facial expressions, however minor and generally overlooked, had been the only thing getting him through that awful, awful meeting just now where people kept trying to salute him and make him salute back and if he didn’t then he was letting down Mo Xuanyu (who would send him a sad look) and A-Qing (who would hear about it from Mo Xuanyu later and then find a way to step on his foot right when he was concentrating on something).

Not to mention their two new resident lovebirds, who looked so righteous and proper from the outside but who also may or may not have accidentally full-on actually resurrected some dead asshole cultivator more or less the first time they’d joined Xue Yang in his demonic cultivation laboratory – which would have been fine, you know, that happened in demonic cultivation though not normally to quite such a wow-is-he-actually-alive extent, except that the guy’s intermittent moments of clarity suggested that his two new sect members might have just brought back the Yiling Patriarch himself, which was going to make all of them wanted criminal again the second anyone found out about it.

Ugh.

Being called sect leader was completely not worth this shit.

Xue Yang comforted himself with the reminder that later today he was planning on publicly introducing Jin Guangyao to the Xue sect’s head junior disciple “Xue Song” and announcing loudly that the brat needed some lessons in manners, that he’d heard that that was Lianfeng-zun’s specialty, and nominating him to take care of the kid while they were visiting.

See how the fucker liked that.

“I always knew Xue-gege could do great things!” Mo Xuanyu said, clapping his hands as A-Qing rolled her (by now, Xue Yang was almost definitely sure not actually blind) eyes behind his back. “As long as I went with him!”

[drabbles-mc]

Hi please could I get a 📂 for Bobby and Juices friendship? We didn't really see much if them in teh show but I could see them getting along.

Bobby loves Juice. So much. He loves him in the "you're like a toddler I've been left in charge of for the day" type of way.

Whenever Juice says or does something that's, to put it nicely, not the smartest thing, Bobby will be shaking his head and mumbling under his breath about it, but he's a lot nicer about it than the rest of the guys.

Sometimes he thinks that Juice is just a bit too much. But even during those times, Bobby recognizes that Juice is like the breath of fresh air that the club needs. Shiny, new, less serious but with just as much heart as anyone else. He just needs a little extra direction, needs the training wheels on for a little longer. If Bobby is being honest with himself, if there was someone he wanted to hang out with outside of club business, Juice would be pretty close to the top of the list. No drama, even if he makes a few questionable decisions here and there, good sense of humor even if Bobby doesn't always understand every joke.

And Juice gets a kick out of hanging out with Bobby. He's the funniest grumpy old man that he's ever met. Plus, Bobby always has good weed and even better baked goods. Hanging out with him has driven Juice off his diets on multiple occasions but it's always worth it. Every time Juice offers to help in the kitchen, Bobby always shoots down the idea, because that's his space to do his thing. But Bobby quickly learns that a bored Juice is a dangerous Juice, so sooner rather than later he always thrown an apron at the kid and lets him help. The number of times he reminds Juice that he cannot lick his fingers and then keep scooping batter is far too high.

Bobby is 100% the type to pick Juice up from a dentist or doctor's appointment with a lollipop because he knows Juice is too old to get one from the office but he still really wants one.

Send me a “📂” and I’ll give you a random/useless headcanon that I have!

[brattata]

Hi!! I hope your having a great day!! I don’t know how many have submitted these yet but if i’m too late that’s totally okay and just ignore this 🫶🫶

My fandom of choice is hxh, my age range is 18-30. (I’m 20) My preferred pronouns are she/her and i do not have a preference for gender. I have a very all over the place personality, some days i’ll be very bubbly, i’ll be cracking jokes left and right and im known as the funniest one in my friend group. I’m also known for my sense of style, my outfits are always looking different everyday depending on how I feel. But other days I literally shut everybody out and don’t get out of my bed all day. Sometimes I can have random bursts of anger directed towards whoever I’m talking to at the moment. For my hobbies I often foster dogs and cats (so far only kittens) who are in need of a safe home after being abused or abandoned.

For my dislikes and dealbreakers, if the person i’m dating has age-play or chews loudly 😭 That’s all i can think of 💀

For my letters can i please have O and D from the nsfw list and C from the fluff list!!

(bonus) My sun is a pisces, moon in leo, rising sign is aries. Venus is also aries. I’m an INFJ, and my love languages are giving gifts, physical touch (cuddling, holding hands, the little things, etc) However if my partner is not into physical touch that is totally fine.

I think that is all! Thank you so much and I hope you have a great rest of your day!! 🫶

Alright, a HxH request! And a little NSFT too, huehue. 😏 Since there are some spicy headcanons below the cut, any readers under 18 should please skip this post.

Now, back to the matchup! Reading your info, the person who jumped out to me the most was…

Knuckle Bine!

Side note: There were so many GIFs to choose from, holy shit! Look at him, carrying Meleoron all cool…

You’d make for a very fun and flashy couple, imo. Clearly Knuckle is a dude with a very strong personal style, and I think he’d appreciate that in a partner too. He shares your love for animals - tends to be a little more of a dog person, but come on, who can resist a kitten? 😽 He’s not going to be put off or scared away by your occasional outbursts, and though his response might often sometimes be an outburst of his own, he gets over it pretty quickly. He’ll whine and scold you about PDA being embarrassing, but I bet he’s a cuddlebug in private.

C is for Comfort

So…the first time Knuckle witnesses you spending a whole day in bed, he doesn’t handle it very well tbh. When he’s feeling down or angry, being active makes him feel better, so it might take some time for him to get that you’re different. Not being sulky or lazy, just processing your feelings in your own way. He loves you though, so he’ll adjust, although he still just doesn’t feel right leaving you totally alone all day. Might insist you keep a puppy or kitten with you for company - you know, because they whine too much when they miss you. 🙄

D is for Dirty Secret (NSFT)

I don’t know why, but I feel like Knuckle has a scent kink. It initially started as something very innocent - smell is the sensation most strongly tied to memory, so it makes perfect sense that he’d want a piece of your clothing to remember you by when he has to be away from you for a long time. Right? Morel and Shoot tease him pretty hard when they catch him wrapping an old shirt of yours around his pillow one night. So, he would literally rather die than have them find out about the pair of your underwear he keeps stashed for when he’s really “lonely.”

O is for Oral (NSFT)

Knuckle slightly prefers receiving to giving. He’s naturally a bit of a hair puller and head pusher, not because he’s trying to be “dominant” (unless you’re into that 👀) but because he just gets too caught up in how good your mouth feels. He will also eat you out very enthusiastically (though you might need to ask), and may make it a personal challenge to see how fast or how many times he can make you cum with just his tongue. Bonus dirty secret: he likes oral fine, but he really prefers good old missionary sex because he’s a romantic who wants to be able to see, and kiss, your face. 😘

Ngl, it’s been a minute since I watched the Chimera Ant Arc, so I hope I did Kuwabara Knuckle justice! 😉 Thanks again for participating in my matchup event.

[sugar-petals]

SuperM Fluff & NSFW Notes

↳ 🌹aka some of their romantic antics plus random 18+ imagines 👋

warnings ⚠️ rated (super) m, boyfriends hc, porn mentions, partial fem!reader, sex toys

FLUFF

since baekhyun knows how to make scented candles, he creates one for you as a birthday present with your favorite fragrances.

every entry in mark’s diary involves fond thoughts about you.

taemin kisses you more than his cat kkoongie on a daily basis so let that sink in. his smooch obsession is getting out of hand.

lucas, having giant fingers after all, learns how to knit in order to make you a warm scarf. he’s still a bit clumsy with it and had to call kun for advice, but the result is surprisingly proper and quickly becomes your favorite item. it’s a little huge but well, he thinks in his dimensions. lucas’ next project is a beanie.

ten overwhelms you with pet names. in fact, he seemingly seems to come up with a new one each day.

kai is a candlelight dinner, rose petals and music kinda guy. he does every old-school thing in the book.

taeyong can cuddle endlessly in bed. he just doesn’t wanna leave.

lucas gladly shares his sweaters. they’re ginormous so, perfect cuddle material.

baekhyun is already a fool. so — when he falls in love, he becomes an even bigger fool. or, the contrary happens: he becomes dead silent around his partner because he’s so enthralled. he can take this more seriously than you think.

mark likes to write little cards and many many texts to express his love.

lucas is the type who can help you put on your jeans when they were shrinking a bit too much in the dryer. he’s pretty sexy like that and things can get really touchy.

cheesy fucking kai, and there’s only one guy who would do this, has actually lowered himself over a puddle once so you would have a bridge. brushed it off like a daily workout rep.

not one shower missed without baekhyun joining you. yes, it’s not always sexy time, he likes it when you shampoo his hair and whisper sweet nothings. and obviously: it’ll all devolve to a laughing fit.

taeyong is the type who wants to be proposed to.

taemin will get a motorcycle license and take you for a frequent ride. he loves getting those kind of back hugs.

both ten and lucas are great at making bracelets. wayv’s dorm is fully equipped with charms, strings, and pearls, so expect matching ones for you.

we’ve seen it, that one’s his favorite move. kai wraps his hand around your shoulder when you walk together.

mark will ALWAYS share his melon.

making you swoon on a DVD evening is lucas’ favorite hobby. he will buy you the most sugary-sweet romance movies. he will often browse streaming sites to select the latest sentimental plots. all these dramas seem to have a male lead who is suspiciously tall and lanky.

if you allow him, taeyong customizes your white tees with his cute drawings.

since taemin swims in money thanks to his profession as the god of kpop (yes, this is a registered job name because i say so), he can fulfill you any wish. he’s stingy and pouty when the shinee hyungs can pay, and the motherfucker baekhyun is even richer since his albums have been taking off so he opens his mochi wallet when superm is gathered, but you... are a different case. taemin will humbly empty his entire pockets when he overhears you gushing over something. there’s a voice in his mind going: must splurge!!

mark loves christmas, you establish an annual tradition to stage a whole couple evening.

baekhyun likes to play charades and especially do karaoke with you. he’s always cutely wiggling his butt and dances like a drunk uncle. he hits the high notes anyway and makes sure you score 100 points.

taeyong can make out with you while at the same time making sure that the milk doesn’t get burned on the stove. kiss’n’stirr multitask tyong alert. gotta make sure the cocoa is served in time, you know.

all the members enjoy playing board games. yep, imagine the fun and sheer chaos.

lucas has the funniest laugh ever indeed. he’ll react to all your jokes, no matter how lame they might be. intensely reassuring.

taemin’s hand is basically glued to yours.

taeyong and mark are the kinds of boyfriends that spoil their partner with skincare. fancy a nice face massage with a nice fragrant oil?

baekhyun has been baking heart-shaped pizzas ever since you started dating. he just can’t make them round anymore.

mark will join you on anything you’re currently bingewatching. 

kai sometimes — only half-jokingly — goes down on both knees bowing forward with his hands on the ground just to show how much he wants to thank you. in case you didn’t notice: this guy treats you like a deity.

ten usually gets confused glances from the other members whenever he gets the current date wrong: he simply loses track of time with you.

lucas makes a habit of buying you flowers every other week. but on unpredictable occasions, and he arranges them in places you’d never expect.

taemin will build you a weird-looking snowman to make you laugh, and give it an even stranger name. ten will build one that looks like you. kai doesn’t build snowmen, he just stands there challenging you to throw snow balls at him.

mark will hang out with you at the beach constantly bringing his guitar. he’ll serenade you all the time.

returning from three months of touring, baekhyun has once climbed your balcony when your parents were in the other room. yep, he was that desperate to see you. somebody give this man a rope and helmet.

taeyong writes down heartfelt confessions on 365 folded slips of paper so you can open one every day. your reactions will range from ‘awwh!’ to straight-up tears.

ten does regular couple yoga with you. a mildly challenging form, not the circus acrobat version. he’ll do the difficult parts anyway. you can pretzel this guy up, he’ll do anything to make you laugh.

when it rains you hook your arm around his, and lucas always holds the umbrella. even the wildest gush of wind can’t make it turn inside out. you arrive home entirely dry. xuxi is so cute, he’s also a great source of cooling shadow in the summer without even trying.

taemin’s skinship overdrive doesn’t stop with endless hand-holding, back hugs and kisses. he wants to lay down in your lap whenever he can. he looks damn pretty with his hair splaying there. if you work on your laptop, you can pretty much count to ten and he’s already nestled there.

kai does pushups with you on his back. it’s a staple. each time he does one, he says ‘i love you’. he increases his count every day.

NSFW

it’s no secret that taeyong is great at acting or pulling off any outfit and costume. expect roleplay of the finest kind — literally. he looks good in a firefighter uniform. you’ll be burning up pretty much automatically.

taemin can’t keep his tongue in. it’s terrible. he’s always in the mood for head. his sloppy noises are the absolute worst, it turns you on way too fast.

lucas had some major problems finding condoms that fit him.

ten and taemin are so switchy, they have an unresolved power struggle going on. begs for a dominant third party to help them out.

kai owns expensive latex gear.

baekhyun may be the king of vocals and breath technique, but if you push him far enough he does get hoarse.

taemin often jokes how kai will one day break his dick from fucking too hard.

meanwhile, mark’s dick is already falling off – from fucking too often. this guy has some major hormones going for him. no surprise, a guy who can promote in four kpop groups at the same time is a stamina king.

taeyong likes eating pussy with another party involved. three’s a crowd my friend. sometimes it’s taemin who unleashes his spit waterfall power, sometimes it’s baekhyun who preoccupies himself with nibbling at the inner thigh while taeyong digs in.

taemin owns the most underwear.

mark takes valerian drops because he is so nervous in bed. it never really goes away, it’s his nature.

taeyong keeps a lube collection. a different flavor for all occasions. he likes associating certain scents with specific body parts.

kai has a heels kink. he literally goes wild over it.

taemin likes to have sex with favorite glasses on.

taeyong and kai are the most likely to cry during sex. baekhyun as well if you rough him up enough. 

mark gets rock hard the fastest, followed by kai. he’s a grower.

taeyong gets the best inspiration for a song when he gets a casual dick riding.

taemin watches extremely x-rated erotic thrillers and bdsm flicks that are heavy on the plot. he gets more invested in the characters and actors than you think. since his japanese is amazing? of course he also owns a giant 90s hentai collection. 

when he’s jerking off, baekhyun chokes himself. a) because he’d make too much noise otherwise and b) because asphyxiation is his favorite thing.

kai feels pleasure in his every cell. he cums the hardest. and, as you can expect, his body expresses it the most extremely, accurately, passionately. if you’ve seen it even once, you’ll never look at him the same again.

taemin has less experience than his discography claims, but more than you’d think. he researches sexual techniques as well. you can brace yourself.

mark has not just a tiger inside, but a freak inside, waiting to be unleashed.

sex while gaming is a go-to activity for baekhyun.

lucas has the best stamina when it comes to getting head.

taemin throws his head back during sex. and no, he doesn’t T-pose. i’m kidding — of course he does. but only when he’s on his back.

taeyong tends to grip a pillow when he cums.

or he humps one when he’s by himself.

ten has the best taste in sexy time playlists.

baekhyun has the best taste in singing his own playlist along.

oh, the things kai has bought at a gas station at 3AM.

baekhyun sucks strap the best. he can open his mouth the widest, drools a lot, and makes the best noises unsurprisingly.

how to turn on lee taemin? he likes getting slapped.

since he’s the most avid and most diverse eater, lucas’ sperm tastes the best. he’s shove 50 fruits into his system just to give you a sweet experience.

mark is absolutely a starfish. 

kai wears fishnet tops if you fancy it.

curiously, baekhyun out of all people doesn’t announce when he’s cumming. you’ll hear it, though.

taeyong’s dildo collection is one for the books.

taemin has visited a pro dominatrix a couple times. needless to say, he was the #1 favorite client at the dungeon. having fully submerged into a fantasy world, taemin was one whip crack away from falling in love with the mistress. but then covid happened and the venue closed.

mark’s dick looks really pretty.

taemin can grind on the strap at every humanly possible angle. he’s almost always ready to take it. he carries a prep kit.

kai — that fucker — knows how to make you wet the most with his bare hands. prepare for the thigh ride of your life, too.

taeyong, baekhyun, and taemin have the best arches. kai is coming for the top three as well. ten’s arch is so good, it can’t be considered one anymore.

baekhyun knows every adult movie out there. theoretically, nothing can shock him. in reality, he melts in your hands.

taeyong is so sexually active with you, he has quit eating garlic.

kai will exploit your muscle kink in any way he can.

taemin, being a devil, has that one button on his phone that he can press when you go out for dinner. he’s OBSESSED with getting you off. once you head home, it’s basically running down your thighs.

ten has once opened a condom with scissors to scare away a date that grew weird on him by the time it got to the do.

lucas is too tall for doing missionary normally.

this will surprise nobody: mark is great at constantly keeping up the dirty talk.

baekhyun’s car is sort of like a brothel on wheels. he can’t count how many times he got down and dirty in there. he cleans it all up by himself.

kai can technically grip you the hardest but he’s the gentlest and great at caressing the whole body.

taemin has the easiest time saying what precisely he wants. he is also the best people reader — most your wishes he can pretty intuit. taemin observes your interests well.

ten likes his hair pulled and makes angelic noises when you do so.

baekhyun likes camgirls and erotic chats with strangers online. he spends a lot of money for nsfw internet encounters.

[supernovafics]

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐈𝐃𝐀𝐘𝐒 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐀 𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐇

pairing: dylan o’brien x best friend fem!reader

summary: in which dylan has been your best friend for as long as you could remember. your busy lives and schedules may have pushed both of your lives in vastly different directions as you’d gotten older, but somehow you two would always be led back to your hometown, and each other, during the holidays. however, one moment causes all of that to change. 

warnings: angst (what else is new), some fluffiness, mentions of past trauma (the maze runner incident), existential crises, explicit language

word count: 3.6k words

author’s note: idk why i decided to write something christmas related in the summer but it happened lmao (also i feel like it’s slightly important to mention that this takes place in 2016)

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

The rocks being thrown at your window were not what woke you up. Instead, you had been lying awake for hours; getting little to no sleep was something that you had become used to at this point.

However, on this specific night— or morning, depending on how one looked at it— you were glad that your sleep had been restless once again because it made it easy for you to get out of bed and walk to your window when the rocks began hitting it.

There was really no need for you to push open the curtains and check who was doing the throwing because, of course, it was Dylan. Ever since he moved onto your street in Hermosa Beach in middle school and the two of you easily became friends, he was the only person that would ever wake you up in the middle of the night with the soft pings of rocks, especially on this specific day at this specific time.

You waved at him and gestured that you would be down in a moment. You slipped on a random pair of sweatpants along with a hoodie and then placed the Christmas gift that you bought for him in the pocket. The item was small enough to fit in the not too big pocket of your hoodie; however, it did awkwardly protrude a bit.

All of this was a sort of unspoken tradition that the pair of you had developed over the many years you’d known each other. Meeting at five in the morning on Christmas day, walking to the beach that was only a few blocks away from your respective childhood homes, and exchanging Christmas gifts with each other as you both watched the sunrise. It started when you were in ninth grade, and you hadn't missed a year since, not even when the ending of high school pushed your lives in vastly different directions, especially since Dylan graduated a year before you and was almost immediately thrust into his acting career.

But, it didn't matter that Dylan's career took off, and you eventually decided to go to college in Santa Barbara, because, no matter what, you both would always come back for the holidays.

When you opened your front door and saw Dylan lingering by the sidewalk no more than ten feet away, you were quick to go toward him and pull him in for a tight embrace. It actually hadn't been too long since you’d last seen him, maybe only five or six months, but for some reason, it still felt as if the last time he was in front of you was last December.

"Hey," Dylan breathed out in a short greeting, his arms wounding around your waist.

“Hey to you too," You responded, a small smile gracing your features when you both pulled away, and you looked up at him. "How have you been?"

It was quiet for a few moments as you waited for him to answer the question, but eventually, you were met with no verbal response, and instead, Dylan simply shrugged. The short action made your heart constrict in the most painful way, and it was then that you noticed the light remnants of a scar peeking out from behind his dark hair that covered the majority of his forehead. You were quick to peel your eyes away from the scar and instead cast them down at your Converse-covered feet, but that didn't stop the memories from quickly coming back.

The Maze Runner accident had happened back in March, but to you, and you knew to Dylan as well, it felt as if it was just yesterday, especially considering the fact that he was still dealing with the unavoidable repercussions from it.

"Wanna walk?" You asked, finally looking up at him once again.

Dylan nodded. "Yeah."

A silence that could only be deemed as comfortable lingered between them as the two of you took the five-minute walk to the beach and sat down side by side on one of the random empty benches.

"Merry Christmas, Y/N," Dylan said as he handed a present over to you. The present was messily wrapped, something that was not at all uncommon when receiving gifts from Dylan, and the sight of it made you smile.

Before you unwrapped the gift, you pulled out the one you had for him and handed it over. "Merry Christmas, Dyl."

The nostalgic sound of wrapping paper ripping could be heard as you tore into your gift. A simultaneous shocked and happy yelp emitted from your lips when you held up a Harry Potter t-shirt. But, it wasn't just any Harry Potter t-shirt; it was one with a version of the Goblet of Fire movie poster on it, which was your all-time favorite movie in the series.

"Holy shit."

"It's the original merch that was sold when the movie came out," Dylan told you. He hadn't opened his gift yet, and instead, he was playing with the green bow placed on top of it; he always liked to see your reaction first.

You looked at Dylan and then back down at the shirt as you processed his words. "Wow, double holy shit. I would put it on if it wasn't freezing right now."

Dylan laughed a bit. "Very understandable."

“Why haven't you opened yours yet? I'm dying to see what you think of it," You said. You were now holding the t-shirt to your chest, genuinely feeling like a little kid on Christmas morning again.

Dylan finally began unwrapping your gift to him, and when all of the paper was peeled off, there was a square box. "Aw, a plain white box. Thank you so much. This is what I've always wanted."

You rolled your eyes and playfully bumped him with your shoulder. "Ha ha. Please save all of these bad jokes for your stand-up act; I can't wait to boo you off the stage along with everyone else."

"So, what I'm hearing is you don't think that becoming a comedian is going to be the next best career move for me?" Dylan asked. He attempted to make the question sound as serious as possible, but there was a joking undertone to his words.

You bit back your laughter. "Please just open the box already so I don't have to hurt your feelings by truthfully answering that question."

"Okay, we'll circle back to that topic later," Dylan smiled and then finally opened the white box to reveal a slightly faded baseball. When he picked it up, he ran his thumb over the black signature written on it. "Now it's my turn to say holy shit."

You could feel yourself smiling at his awestruck reaction, and you wondered if that was what you looked like when you saw the Harry Potter shirt. The baseball was signed by one of the players of the New York Mets that had been Dylan's favorite player when he was younger, and he'd even caught a ball hit by him when he went to a game before he moved to California.

"I've had this idea for years, but I could never find a baseball signed by him," You began explaining, the excitement clear in your voice. "But, last month, someone named Paul Todd posted this on eBay and I immediately bought it. God bless that old man. It's completely authentic and everything."

Dylan was quiet for a few moments as he simply looked at the baseball in his hands, a small joyful smile on his face, and it made you happy to see him so genuinely elated with the present.

"This just made my gift look like shit," He finally said, a light laugh falling from his lips.

"I have always been the superior gift giver. I think that's my hidden talent," You responded with a playful smirk.

Dylan placed the baseball back in its box and then looked at you. "Next year you will receive the best gift ever from me. It will completely top everything that you have ever given me."

"You're saying that as if I should feel upset about receiving a trip to Italy as a Christmas gift."

"A trip to Italy?"

"In my strong opinion, that would be the best gift ever," You said with a smile and then looked down at the t-shirt, which was now in your lap. "But, anyway, I don't think this gift is shit. I'm in love with this shirt already."

Dylan let out a joking, overexaggerated sigh in relief. "Phew, okay, since you think this gift is great, that means I don't have to do the trip to Italy next year."

"What? Did I say I like this t-shirt? I hate it! Harry Potter actually su— Fuck, I can't say this with a straight face," You laughed, and Dylan was quick to join in with you.

The joking statements leading up to the laughter hadn't even been the funniest things ever, but it didn't matter because this was probably the hardest you had laughed in a while, and you were both glad and unsurprised that it was with one of your favorite people in the entire world.

You missed joking around and laughing with him. You missed simply being with him.

Eventually, the laughter died off, but there was still a smile planted firmly on your face. You looked ahead at the darkness in front of you and the ocean that looked completely black; it was still kind of early, so the sun hadn't begun to rise just yet. Your back pressed against the wooden bench, and you let out a small sigh, your head finding Dylan's shoulder as you leaned against him.

"How have you been?" You asked him, your words coming out both soft and slightly quiet, and before the mood became too serious with your question that was nothing but serious, you attempted to lighten it. "And please no shrugs as a response this time. I don't wanna get a headache due to my head bouncing off your shoulder."

Dylan let out a breath of a laugh at your final statements but refrained from answering the question for a few moments.  

After what felt like forever, he sighed and ran a hand through his dark hair. "I honestly don't know. My mind has felt so fucked lately, thinking about everything. I swear I've been feeling every feeling known to man these past months."

"What are you feeling right now? In this moment?"

"I'm really happy with you. This is probably the only normal and familiar thing I've experienced in a while. But, of course, there's still that confused feeling in the back of my mind revolving around everything else." He paused for a brief moment before continuing, his next words came out quieter. "I don't even know if I want to go back to acting."

You lifted your head off his shoulder and looked at him as you pulled his hand into yours and gave it a light, reassuring squeeze.

"No matter what you decide. I'll be right there to support you," You told him and then added a "bro" at the end of her sentence along with a small smile. Whenever things became too deep in a conversation you two were having, one of you would always throw a "bro" or "dude" in there to bring some playfulness to the mood.

The corners of Dylan's perked up a bit. "So, you'll support me when I decide to become a comedian?"

You were unable to stifle your light laughter. "Yes, fine, fuck it. I'll be the loudest one laughing at all of your shows."

Dylan squeezed your hand back because he knew exactly how reluctantly true your words were. "Don't worry, I promise not to put you through that."

"Thank you."

"So, how have you been?"

"No."

"Oh, come on," Dylan said as he playfully poked your side. "I'm not gonna be the only one exposing my feelings."

You sighed and then hesitantly nodded. "Okay, okay."

The truth was you had been far from good lately. Your life was moving, but for some reason, you felt like you weren’t moving with it.

You felt stuck.

Stuck in a confusing mindset where you had absolutely no idea what you wanted to do with your life. You thought that identity crises usually happened in high school, but apparently, yours had come five years late. But, you knew that this delayed identity crisis had been your own doing because you had convinced herself that you would figure everything out once you were in college; and you were both lucky and smart enough to receive a full ride to UCSB.

And although you were finishing up your Master's degree in Creative Writing and had a TA job at the university with the department, which was the reason behind why you could even pay for the Master's program, something in your "should be great" life simply did not feel right.

However, you felt absolutely terrified to say any of that out loud because admitting it would only finally make that statement a wholehearted truth, instead of just a spiraling thought in your mind. And even though Dylan was your best friend and you knew you could tell him anything and not receive any sort of judgment, it still felt hard to let the words leave your lips.

You thought about the way to perfectly word everything, but nothing felt right. You pulled your hand away from Dylan's and covered your face as you let out an exasperated breath. "I can't figure how to say it all."

Dylan placed an arm around you and then mimicked the same question you had asked him not too long ago. "What are you feeling right now? In this moment?"

You would have both laughed and smiled at the fact that he was using your exact words if the current circumstances were different.

"Scared," You finally said, your voice barely above a whisper. "I don't know what the fuck I wanna do anymore, and actually, I don't think I really ever did. I only went to college because of the scholarship, and I convinced myself that I would figure my life out when I got there. And for a while, things felt right because I found creative writing and genuinely enjoyed it, but something doesn't feel right anymore. And I actually do like school. Because it's stable, and I am doing things, even if it's taking a dumbass test. But, it's about to be over soon, and I have no idea what I'm gonna do."

Your words were coming out like vomit, and nothing could stop it because finally, everything you had been feeling for so long was out of your head and put into the open.

"And don't get me wrong, I do love to write, but I don't know, I just can't see myself doing it for the rest of my life," You admitted and then let your next words come out quietly. "Honestly, I can't see myself doing anything. I'm so unhappy here."

You did not say it aloud, but you didn't think you were ever fully content there. Aside from Dylan and your parents, you never truly liked California. You had grown up there all your life, and although there were millions of people that adored the state, you felt the exact way someone from a state like Wyoming probably felt.

Dylan did not verbally respond to your long confession at first; instead, he simply pulled your confused and stressed self in for a hug, and you let out the simultaneous sigh and breath that you had been metaphorically holding in for years at this point.

"Maybe you should take a break," Dylan finally said; his arms were still around you, an action that made you feel completely comforted. "Right after high school, you went straight to college, and I don't think you've ever really taken a break to really think about what you actually want. Like, maybe, it's becoming a zookeeper."

Your laugh was slightly muffled by the fact that your face was pressed into the warmth of Dylan's chest. "Zookeeper?"

"I don't know," He laughed too. "You said you would support me in whatever the fuck I decide to do, and I'll do the exact same for you."

Somehow a smile found its way on your face. "A zookeeper and a comedian. What a fucking dream team."

Another laugh fell from Dylan's lips. "The best fucking dream team."

"But, honestly, I wish I could've known sooner that this is how you've been feeling. I would've been telling you to slow down so long ago, but you seemed content with everything," Dylan told you and gave you another light squeeze. "Please take a break and don't stress yourself out over the future when your next semester is over. Just relax for the first time. You can even come stay with me in LA for a little bit if that's where you wanna take your break. I'll be here for you, Y/N. Always."

Something about his words hit you hard. The wholehearted honesty and sincerity behind his statement shouldn't have surprised you, but it did. And the worry he had for you resembled the same concern you had for him when the accident happened. You two were best friends, so it should not have been a shock that you would worry about each other, but still, in that moment and for you, it was shocking because it felt like so much more than just that.

"Me too," You whispered, finally responding to his previous statement.

The long embrace came to an end with you being the one to pull away; however, you did not pull away far enough for you both to become completely detached from one another. Dylan's arms were still around your waist, and yours were still around the nape of his neck, and your faces were dangerously close. Your hand somehow took on a mind of its own as it reached around and cupped Dylan's cheek. The miniscule confusion and tickle of panic that began to prick at the back of your mind because of the action were not enough to make you pull away.

The slight way that Dylan leaned into your soft touch was the catalyst for you to take the leap and lean in the tiniest bit to close the small distance between the two of you, your lips almost too easily finding his. The inward sigh of contentment you emitted when Dylan almost immediately kissed you back made you realize that kissing him was the one thing currently happening in your life that actually felt right.

Later, when thinking back to that specific moment, you would wonder if that "rightness" had always been there between you both.

However, that right feeling, which was both comfortable and familiar, was quickly replaced with dread and angst, at least on your part. Your mind was beginning to fully catch up with your actions, and it immediately told you that the current action was both bad and stupid, and there were many, many reasons that proved that.

Maybe there were moments where a younger, and even present-day, you did want more to happen between you and Dylan, but you would always push that thought away because you knew that your and Dylan's friendship was so much more valuable.

And then it was the fact that your lives were nothing alike. Even though you were immensely confused about where your life was going, you could say for certain that it wasn't going in the same direction as Dylan's; an acting career that he genuinely loved and enjoyed too much to truly give up. Something deep down told you that, and you could feel the truthfulness behind the thought. The holidays were the only time your lives would truly intersect.

You abruptly pulled away, not just from the kiss but from Dylan's body entirely, moving to the edge of the bench you were on. Your hands covered your face in nothing but pure embarrassment and regret, and you wished that you could take back the last minute and a half of your life. And you also absolutely hated that you couldn't help but notice how much colder your body felt now that it was away from Dylan's.

"Oh my God. I'm sorry. Fuck. That kiss— it was a mistake. I'm really sorry." Your words came out rushed and fumbled, and it probably did not make much sense, but you just hoped that there was at least a little bit of coherency with them.

As much as you wanted to look at Dylan, you refused to do so because you knew that you would only see the regret you were feeling written clear across his face.

"Hey, it's okay, Y/N. Everything's fine. Don't worry," You heard him say but could hear the uncertainty in his voice as if he really didn't know if everything truly was fine. And you knew that it wasn’t. It really wasn’t.

The holidays were the only time your lives would truly intersect, and you had just completely ruined that.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

let me know your thoughts <3

((((already potentially thinking about doing a part 2 to this….. but idk…))))

[sweetwolfcupcake]

Allurement: Plastics

Yandere Namjoon x Reader

Mr Choi was a man with money. And Namjoon knew it far too well that if one had money, they held the power. And Mr Choi had both, just like his father.

"Kim Namjoon! My golden boy!" Mr Choi greeted him with his obnoxious laughter, plainly ignoring (Y/N) by his side. And as much of a disrespect that was, Namjoon was slightly relieved, the snob was probably too busy calculating in his head to notice her. And he would like to keep her away from prying eyes as long as he could.

"Mr Choi, what a pleasure to have you here." Namjoon regarded the man with the politest smile, although it was nothing more than a perfectly-veiled grimace. He quickly turned to (Y/N) "Why don't you get a drink (Y/N), I will join you shortly, there is the bar at the corner, approach me anytime you like, okay?" she looked up to him, and nodded with a nervous smile before walking away. And Namjoon could finally breathe.

"I did not know that having a date is essential for this event?" by the man's smile, Namjoon knew that it was more than a casual question.

"No, it is not essential, but I thought this to be rude to come here alone, especially when there are going to be such iconic power couples present. Besides, she is my secretary, she would learn a thing or two about business."  Mr Choi's smile widened, turned wolfish at Namjoon's words before he opened a pack of exclusive cigars in front of him.

"Would like a puff or two, heard this one's your favourite."

"Oh, you, remember?" Namjoon accepted a cigar with the comment "Is Miss Choi here?"

"Oh please, 'Miss Choi' does not fit you anymore, call her Ara. Unfortunately, she has been busy lately, business-related matters, who knows this better than you? But I have been in contact with Mr Kim." of course that greed-incarnate was in contact with Mr Kim, always so loyal to Kim Daejung.

"Of course, I understand. And I do not see Mrs Choi here?"

"She must be with one of her friend circles, you know how her paintings are to be exhibited soon, the last exhibition and auction won her millions, in dollars."

"Oh, yes, of course, our ancestral mansion has the honour to hang three of her paintings from her previous exhibitions. Father would surely engage in this one as well, can't wait to add to our collection."

"Oh, break my heart son, why? Can't you make it? Ara would be there as well, you both can enjoy a private dinner after the auction. Both of you have been so busy, barely had any dates this month. You both are going to get married soon. It's better to get to know each other."

"Of course, Ara is the most pleasant company to have. We are having our fair shares of dates and meet-ups. As much as our busy schedules allow. And she has been hinting towards your company's interest in investing in our upcoming projects. It is lovely to have such loyal partners and investors as you."                                                    Mr Choi's smile was slightly stiff, and Namjoon knew that he had gained the upper hand "It has also reached my ear, that your esteemed company has been planning to invest extensively in projects of other companies. I'm sure those investments would be in favour of both our business."

"Ah! Does that even need to be asked? Of course, everything is done in the favour of our companies. You are my daughter's future after all."

Namjoon's hand inside his pocket turned into a fist "Of course I am." the bitter taste that left his mouth, which he compensated with lighting the cigar and sucking in the toxins. But he never forgot to light Mr Choi's cigar first. Mannerism was important after all.

Mr Choi excused himself shortly after, and it was a relief for Namjoon, he could finally get back to (Y/N), his eyes desperately searched for her as he weaved through the great hall, being interrupted and greeted repeatedly by people present there, but Namjoon was still calm, not wanting to let his desperation show. At last, he did find her, away from the crowd, tucked at the corner, smiling.                                                                                                                But his relief was short-lived, as he realised that his darling was not alone. Lee Hyunwoo had found sniffing his way to her. Namjoon's blood boiled as he watched how Mr Lee leaned in and whispered something into her ear, making her burst into a fit of laughter as if she had been told the funniest joke ever known to mankind. He exhaled, letting composure wrap around his mind and tightening his grasp on his rational self. And when he was sure that he would be able to keep up his perfect persona with practised ease, only then Namjoon began to take strides towards them.

"What a surprise Mr Lee? And here I have been wondering if you somehow had missed the invitation." he greeted him with a smile, successfully intruding into their corner.

"Of course I would come, who would miss such an event. Especially when it is filled with all the magnificence of the world." Mr Lee turned to (Y/N) while he mentioned 'magnificence', adding a flirty smile that had surely charmed many, many ladies before into their knees, but of course, his darling was not one of them, she only smiled with her cheeks evidently gaining colour, but that was it.

"Surely, this party has all the magnificence of the world." he walked closer, standing beside her before his hand came to rest on her back lightly "I do not see any date with you, Mr Lee? It was such a hassle for me to find one, I had invited my lovely secretary instead." he felt her stiffening slightly at his words, but he did not remove his hand, instead, opting it to settle his hand completely on her back.

The conversation with Mr Lee flew into business talks with ease, at least he was far more tolerable than those pesky double-faced investors and business partners like Mr Choi. And yet, at that moment, Namjoon thought that he would have preferred those old hags over having to witness and tolerate Lee Hyunwoo's piqued curiosity regarding his woman.

But the moment Mr Lee walked off, leaving him alone with her, he turned to her with a sigh "I remember warning you against talking to strange men?" she looked up at him, her eyes wide and sparkling under the lighting. With the gaze so open, so innocent, it was hard not to pull her into a draining kiss then and there.

"But he approached me, I could not just ignore him, that would have been rude and put a bad impression since I work for you, Sir." her sweet naivety shone through her tender voice and unscripted words. Of course, Lee approached her, his little lamb would not defy him like that. But still, she seemed to not mind his company.

"The conversation did not seem very professional to me though. Does Mr Lee has such a good sense of humour?" she blinked, so evidently confused and oblivious, that made Namjoon want to groan. It was unfair for her to be so adorable.

She bit the insides of her lip unconsciously and he thanked the stars that she had not bitten her lip instead, he was just a breathe away from swooping down and kissing her anyway. She truly was, an oblivious temptress. And once it would be established that she belonged to him, he would make sure that men think twice before even eyeing her, approaching her would be a far-fetched dream.

"He was telling me about his college days. The stories were funny." her voice lowered as she replied,

"Sure, sure, college days are always fun. Have you eaten anything?" he desperately wanted to change the flow of conversation.

"No. I...I was nervous." he was surprised at her admission. Most of the times, her body language would give away her agitation, she would never voice it. But it was for the first time she had admitted that, an indication that she trusted him enough to admit that, and it was significant progress.

"There is no need to Da-(Y/N), I'm here, come, let's eat. Besides, I am tired of talking to plastics." her eyes widened in surprise while her lips tugged up in a suppressed laughter. Namjoon smiled down at her before guiding her towards the buffet. Her eyes danced with mirth because of him. And he would like to keep it that way.

****

Taglist(Kindly remind me later if I missed anyone)- @whatpageisthis @amoc94 @theresa-nam-nam-me @dearbambideer @casualminiaturetimemachine @njrwifey @kpopisnicee @illnevertrustmyselfagain @potterbrooke @luvaffaire @bighitfics @mochimochipie @vixenwerr @minshookie29 @sepulcry @omgsuperstarg @rkive-diary