#The group chat fucking killed me
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bear wears this every chance he gets and tim fucking hates it (but his cults anonymous group loves it so ha! suck on that timothy)
#bear is in every x anonymous group out there#pain anonymous narcotics anonymous alcoholic anonymous cult anonymous the list goes on#his sponsors have a group chat and are very involved in making sure he doesn't relapse!!!!#also i firmly believe that tim has nightmares about the sacrifice#like that quickly becomes the thing he sees most when under fear toxin#and!!! my personal opinion on the aftermath of the cult is that bear doesnt get superpowers from it#while it's cool and i really do enjoy the fics to me sometimes you fuck up your life and you dont get anything cool from it#sometimes u just have to live with the damage you caused to yourself. sometimes you get yourself almost sacrificed by the cult u#joined when you were scared and angry and grieving and you fuck up your life and they almost kill u and all you have left#are the broken pieces of what you used to call your life. all you have left are the friendships you've ruined the degree you fucked up#and the long list of jobs you've gotten yourself fired from. and to me!! me personally!!! that is more interesting than magic powers#also ik he didn't really get sacrificed but shhh play along for the mem#bernard dowd
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Stop using character ai!!!!!
Find another equally unhinged soul to role-play with, like god intended.
#i can't stop hearing about people using character ai and i'm so sad for them.#they don't even know what they're missing out on.#the bonds you forge role-playing with someone are so special to me. there is no trust like the one between rp partners#i was part of an online role-playing circle for a while and it was like having our souls welded together#we did some fucked up shit in those rp chats.#i committed pretend cannibalism on someone we didn't like before kicking them out. people cheered.#i still keep in touch with one guy i know irl from that group and we never speak of it. the shame and cringe would kill us both instantly.#and i wouldn't have it any other way#anti ai#anti character ai#character ai#< yeah i'm adding this tag. i'm not afraid of y'all. i've role-played shit with other people you wouldn't even say to a bot.#i don't even consider this a hot take. this is a moral stance for me.#shitpost#but i'm actually 100% serious
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the funniest aspect of bruce/willis is how fucking mad about it harvey would be
#harvey seeing pap pics of bruce and willis together: FUUUUUUUUUUCK MY GOON STOLE MY WIFE IN THE DIVORCE#willis no.... willis stop... ur swag too different... ur dick too big.... theyll kill u willis....#bruce wayne#willis todd#harvey dent#willis posting a pic of bruce shirtless in the goon-ion group chat like u fucking wish u were me
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HAVING A GREAT DAY 🖕
#small mistake at work activate kill myself mode#and I feel like shit#I haven’t checked but I feel like I’m running a fever of roughly 104#and I pretty much have to go in office tomorrow (3 hour round trip)#only other option is push it to Friday but that fucks up my schedule a lot#and no guarantee I’ll even be much better by then at this rate#well hey at least my job is sending me to a conference on my birthday#👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍#oh and can’t forget the behemoth final group project for school due in 4 days that’s barely started bc my group isn’t on the same page#hmmmm chat should I kms#sobbing crying etc irl
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#writing#poetry#2022#October 2022#october 13 2022#You’re Kind of an Idiot#yeah i still like this one#I think i specifically trying to imitate Richard Sikken with the funky formating and view changes or however you call it#the context was I convinced my friends to add me to this group chat that had all this people they were friends that I didn’t know#(I did know half of them tho)#and like this wasnt a decision made by the group chat but just the three in it i had lunch with#originally it was a joke i wasnt in it but then i got them to add me#I thought i might get kicked out by one of the people who didn’t know me once they realized this random guy was in the gc#but i ended up fitting it really well and especially got along with the guy i was most intimidated by#there was a discord server that was the REAL gc and wasnt in it#but there was a vote (using discord emote reacts) for if i was gonna be added or not#I didn’t know how to see who did what react on discord at the time so it was anonymous to me at first#the ones who voted no where ones i knew and they totally did it jokingly but i was afraid i was being too annoying and karen esc about it#anyways i got voted and everything went well#the server and group chat eventually got deleted due to drama to do this this girl who was only there cause she was this one guy’s gf#(She fucking sucked btw. like she was a white girl who made racism jokes. thats the kind of person she was)#(fun fact her and the guy she dated straight up met in a psych ward after he tried to kill himself)#rejection sensitive dysphoria#rsd
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man am i really okay
#vent#i fucking hate the group chat bcuz they HATE ME!!!! /srs#yeah they hate me#fuck them#except for vee and applsaus#and sophie#they're the cool ones in the gc#fuck martini man he's so fucking mean and i almost killed myself over him not caring about me#/neg#cw suicide mention#tw suicide mention
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I get alone with my thoughts for one second and then my brain goes to the VN love interest route I beat yesterday and I go, "jesus fucking christ what the fuck."
#ramblings#it's honestly funny at how shocking it was to me??? i just did not see that happening#i legitimately said out loud as i was playing it and he was having a rough time that he should kill himself to forever change the directory#of people's lives. and then i moved on because OF COURSE that wasn't going to happen. it was funny to me but the game wouldn't do that#but then he had a mental breakdown and kidnapped someone and tried to kill himself and I??????????????? I still cannot process it? what the#spoilers for an otome game route i guess#not giving any details in case you don't wanna know but i have to say#WHAT THE HELL the fuck what? hello? get therapy? hello? how did that lead to a good end where nothing else was confronted? hello? are you o#li: i'll kill myself if you don't love me. mc: +10000 affection#GIRL STOP you both need to go to therapy what the fuck LMAOOOO what did I play and why did it go that way with no warning??? or maybe i was#warned but i automatically told myself no way i was reading too much into it and they'd never BUT THEY DID WHAT WHAT HELLO WHAT??#my friends got me screaming through out the entire thing in group chat#the change from LMAO he should he deserves to fuck up people's lives to Hahah. Ha? He is??? LMAO??? WHAT HELLO?#i think it was extra jarring because the other love interests pissed me off at least once very bad on their routes but this guy cried early#on and opened up and i was like huh. vulnerability. i like that. and he kept on not making me mad and i was like good for him i hope he wor#s through his issues. the same with the mc. BUT THEY DIDN'T. THEY JUST HAVE THIS VERY UNHEALTHY CODEPENDENCY THAT I THOUGHT THE MC WAS WORK#ON FIXING BUT NOOOOOOOOOOO NOOOOOOOOOOO ARGH AAAAAAAHHHH LMAO WHAT THE FUCK#the true route i unlocked fixed some things but they're all still fucked up. i guess they're my blorbo friends now#okay i need this to get out of my system send help
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FRIEND WHO WORKS AT A MOVIE THEATER GOT ME A SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG POSTER THIS IS A CATEGORY 10 BRAINWORMS EVENT
#they sent a pic of the posters to the group chat & i said “i would kill for one of those” and they said THEY ALREADY GRABBED ONE FOR MEEEE#EXPLODES#they're gonna hand it off to me at our local pride festival tomorrow..............shadow the hedgehog's natural habitat#how funny would it be if i end up with one of the posters signed by keanu reeves. i dont think i will but can you fucking imagine#specifically only because i don't give a damn about keanu at all. not even a little#in all honesty i still think shadow should be voiced by robert pattinson#which is why i believe i should get one of the 300 posters personally signed by keanu reeves for free. just because <3#anyway . im already looking around my room rn for places to put it u best believe
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i’m tired of being an anxious wreck about everything, i just want to be normal, i want to be like everyone around me who can just DO things!! i want to approach strangers without wanting to kms and i want to be spontaneous and i want to stop talking myself out of everything and i want to talk confidently and i want to not be terrified of group chats!!! why was i born with this stupid brain 😩😩
#it’s killing me lately realising how much i hold myself back#bc i’m too worried about ?? who even knows#i’m too nervous to talk in a fucking family group chat there is no hope
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you know that joke thats like cw: this game contains scenes?
tfw you have an oc that is just. he just Is a content warning at this point
#toy txt post#i try to be somewhat specific and ill be fucked if he ever gets out to a wider audience who doesnt have any context for#cw headloose but like i really. he really is just. like#his cws always contain so many question marks as i try to figure out how to categorize and quantify his particular brand of fucked up#its very funny but also. save me#its literally always just like. idk. ig gore? hes an oc that cant be killed and he can shapeshift and reconstitute his body as needed#but gore doesnt feel quite right for like. he wants to be turned into a literal pulp and then his body does some horror shit cos hes#fully sentient while thats happening and its turning him on. i wont. go into more detail than that here. theres something deeply wrong with#him. i hate him (lying) hes so fun. until its deeply cursed. inflicting psychic damage on the entire group chat and also myself#some of u would love whatever the fuck he's got going on probably#but alas i cant share him too candidly. sorry. even if censorship wasnt an issue. thats Scary#if i ever make a comic or book or whatever of the oc universe hes from ill have to print zines of it at home myself and hand deliver it to#members of the groupchat in person cos i aint sending him thru the mail#simultaneously oh its not that bad but also more fucked up than u could imagine or whatever idk#idk hes having fun. im suffering for my art.
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:((((
#i am doing this entire database assignment by myself basically. some of them figured out the er diagram a few days ago and i volunteered to#write the paper because i was sick that day and felt bad for not participating#turns out literally everything they've done is wrong and im 99% sure it was all from chatgpt the code is wrong and not the way the professor#wants it. so now ive written the entire paper and have to rewrite the SQL code and build the fucking database#all while i have an exam at 8 tomorrow#im probably not going to sleep tonight#its fine im not like stressed to the point of feeling shitty and depressed i know that i just have to survive the day and things will be ok#after this#but idk how people can be like this#idk how you can be okay with letting one person do the majority of the work on a group assignment. if that were me the shame would kill me#and when i asked for help in the group chat no one responded it's been seen by all members but no reply and that pissed me off so much#id rather they come out and say they don't know how to do it than flat out ignore the work.
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I’ve been added to a school reunion group chat I would rather stick bamboo under my fingernails
#the group chat has existed since like the start of June#I was added TODAY#and the plan so far is drinks and canapés at a tour of the school#brother that sounds fucking awful lmao#travel hours to somewhere I hate to tell everybody#oh no I’m unemployed I don’t really do either of the two things you knew me for anymore and I’m this close to killing myself every day#absolutely fucking not lmao
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i find it fascinating (/negative) how people think there's some clear and present divide between physical and mental disabilities, and treat it as if the only overlap is when you have both.
like... for one, can we acknowledge that there is not, in fact, a binary of types of disabilities? how do you describe cognitive disabilities that affect both physical and mental function? what of disorders that originate in exclusively physical ways (ie, post concusive syndrome) but present with strong mental symptoms (anger, change in personality?)
how can you claim to support neurological disabilities and claim that ADHD is not, in any way, a physical disability? why is it different only if the presentation of a disability is seen as mental?
like... genuinely speaking, when I see posts insisting that movements around disabilities are meant for only the physically disabled, all I can believe is that you too have fallen victim to ableism. You are using a baseless categorization to separate and divide when the border is always going to be fuzzy, and always going to be used to hurt rather than help on a systemic level.
#disability#disabled pride month#disability pride month#like maybe it's growing up with a strong connection to the cognitively disabled community in my area#but like. cool tell me more about how mentally ill folks are invading our spaces for physical disability#while i chat with an adult on my brother's disabled sports team who is relatively physically abled#but whose disabilities are cognitive and both impair his fine motor skills and give him a nasty temper#who i genuinely fear will one day have an unprepared person put in charge of his group home and will be hurt by the police#for having a disability that makes it hard for him to express his thoughts and quick to anger#tell me that you don't understand disabled pride to also be about the mentally disabled folks who were sterilized in eugenics movements -#because i've fucking met them!#tell me that autistic people killed by the police for meltdowns and shutdowns and 'acting weird' aren't allowed to be part of this movement#because you can't consider that you've been taught by an asshole society that there's always 'invaders' taking advantage of social movements#when often those are closely related groups with such significant overlap that it's so foolish to insist we are not one group in solidarity#one group in spirit!#just!!! ugh!!!#disabled pride is for all disabled folks#there is no one disability that can be separated from our activism without harming us all
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"dean is emotionally constipated" OH YOU MEAN TTHE SAME DEAN WHO FELL TO HIS KNEES TO ADMIT HE WAS ANGRY AND WRONG AND SORRY AND THAT HE SHOULD HAVE FORGIVEN CASTIEL SOONER? THAT DEAN?
#rach does s15#THIS SHIT WOULD HAVE KILLED ME FUCKING DEAD IN 2014#THE WAY THEY CLING TO EACH OTHER AFTERWARDS#literally sent the group chat a voicenote of me simply SCREAMING#HE HAS FEELINGS YOU JUST NEED TO GIVE HIM TIME AND NOT PUT HIM UNDER WORLD CRUSHING PRESSURE#I'D BE THE SAME IF THOSE WERE MY STAKES#15x09 got me FUCKED. UP.#oh my god i just. I JUST.#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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#friend sent this in the group chat this morning so it was the second thing i saw when i woke up and it also killed me#fuck elon musk
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Babbled in the tags, I'm not rewriting all that on mobile, I'll edit the post later
That's a study by Penn State University that will allow you access to a quiz that estimates the likelihood that you may have ptsd, due to adverse childhood events. It's not going to diagnose you; it isn't a therapist. It IS good data, both for you and for the people running the study.
it's so funny to me when i see pearl-clutching articles about how "teenagers are diagnosing themselves with mental disorders via tiktok" because like. this is not happening in a vacuum. teenagers are severely and i mean severely medically neglected. i cannot stress this enough. teenagers do not have free access to medical care. those same news outlets would be clowning on women with housewife psychosis in the 1950's.
i sometimes go pale when listening to some of what my friends have gone through in their childhoods and teenagehoods. they talk about it so nonchalantly, things that would be considered straight up torture if done to an adult, can't fathom the effect this has on children. they are on multiple anti-psychotics and several antidepressants and anxiety meds now that they are adults. medical neglect has legally and effectively disabled them. a timely diagnosis and intervention could have saved them. of course teenagers are self-diagnosing using tiktok. if your knee-jerk reaction is to scoff at the idea and dismiss it as dumb teenager shit instead of being radicalized because the best shot young people have at attaining the mental health support they need is a fucking dancing videos app, you're categorically a political enemy of the youth.
#i have been hahalmao goop gang-ing with friends in a group chat and a few of my coworkers for the last day and a half or so#because i ran into a study being run by penn state looking into childhood trauma through a fairly short quiz#and resulting in a number that gives you an idea of whether you're likely to have ptsd from your childhood experiences and family#0-84 is Not Likely; 85-167 is Potential; and anything higher is Likely#the lowest number any of my buddies have come.back to me with is 134#and the highest was one of my coworkers who just took it and got back 316#i got a 280#the thing is; harold; we're traumatized#now‚ i _have_ an official c-ptsd diagnosis#i got it when i was 16; in an inpatient clinic where i was being held to keep me from killing myself#so a score of 280 from a high profile study for someone with a confirmed diagnosis; who got out of that clinic clutching a protective order#you know what#fuck it#im adding the quiz to the teblog#go forth and self examine#its limited to us residents cus its a study; not a diagnostic tool
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