#The gods did not see any problems. All they saw was an 'idiotic' woman who had mercy upon her own kind.

[arthur-side]

"I'm just a [man]."

No matter what the gods tell her, no matter how cold, distant, or scary she is, in the end, she's just a loving mother who's waiting to get back home.

Waiting, waiting.

[angel-kyo]

Pay it no mind

Part XXVI

In which reader confesses their feelings to Gojo, but it seems these are not returned (maybe?).

Warnings: reader is on the receiving end of rejection (kinda), and the fact that I'm obsessed with unrequited love is a warning itself. Drinking is mentioned.

Previous: Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Part VI, Part VII, Part VIII, Part IX, Part X, Part XI, Part XII, Part XIII, Part IV, Part XV, Part XVI, Part XVII, Part XVIII, Part XIX, Part XX, Part XXI, Part XXII, Part XXIII, Part XXIV, Part XXV

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What a greedy, selfish prick.

That was what Satoru thought of himself at this exact instant. That was also what he had thought of himself 0.2 seconds after you had left your spare key on his coffee table. And God, had the sound of the door closing behind you sobered him up, but as much as he had wanted to stop you, stop your hand from letting go of the spare key to his place, stop you when you turned around and left; run after you… he did not.

Why didn’t he?

Because they are right, I am selfish.

That was why he was here, at a bar in Shibuya, a nice small place with an Irish theme and authentic Irish beer, or so the owner claimed. Not that he cared for the decoration or that he would actually drink though.

No, he had had enough drinking for a lifetime after seeing you that night with Ikeda.

Another stupid move. In his defense, he had not expected to see you in a couple days after that, let alone expected you to come to his place. He had assumed you would hate him after all the things he had said, that he had finally given you the definitive push into Ikeda’s arms.

“You are cruel beyond repair, and I’m an idiot for falling in love with you.”

He did not even notice the moment those words had already left his mouth. Of course, he had not noticed his own anger either.

Why was he angry though? Satoru knew you had not made any promises to him. He had told himself a dozen times that you owed him nothing, that you had not given him any guarantee.

But he wished you had, and maybe that angered him. Because you had been his friend for the longest time, you had given him everything a friend can give another, and still, he could not prevent himself from wanting more.

As such, he was angry at himself.

A soft sigh left his lips, and he perceived the bartender's pity look for the fourth time that night. He could understand it, because what kind of man sits alone at a bar for a whole hour ordering nothing but glass after glass of water, rejecting every woman who tried to take the empty stool next to him?

The bartender finally saw the strange white-haired man ask for the bill and put too much of a generous tip on the counter.

If every odd man paid like this, he would not mind serving just water forever.

And Satoru would not have minded staying there forever either, because he did not feel like going home to a luxurious but empty apartment. He had always preferred your place, but that was not an option at the moment.

He knew he would have to face you at some point, sure, but for now, he would delay that as much as possible because he did not want his heart to ache more.

As he exited the bar, Satoru felt better for a second, the cool night air and all the water he had forced himself to drink had cleared his senses and refreshened his mind. Maybe there was a path forward, maybe he could mend things with you. That glimmer of hope lasted three seconds.

Then he saw a disgustingly familiar face across the street.

***

“I don’t know what’s his problem anymore, you know,” Haruki said. Or at least you thought it was Haruki, but the man sitting across from you looked like a version of him on his way to have one too many drinks.

When he had called you that placid evening and pretty much begged you accompanied him to go for a couple drinks because he really needed a friend now, you had suspected he had already started his party, and judging by the look in his eyes, he had kept on the pace until you arrived and persuaded him to slow down on the liquor.

Sure, you and him had gone out for drinks once or twice together before but you had never seen Ikeda drunk. In fact, he had never seemed this eager to drink much.

It was not surprising to find out that the trigger for his sudden unsatiable thirst had been his father.

Of course. Only that man can get you this out of character…

Similarly to when you had been younger and Haruki had looked the unhappiest whenever his father was brought up into conversation, the man before your eyes did not look like his usual bright and amiable self.

Haruki’s hand reached for the glass he had refilled. “He already got what he wanted. He wanted out of the burden of having to raise me, so he sent me away as soon as my uncle accepted receiving me.” He sipped his glass.

“And when he died, he did not even show up at his funeral; all I got was a shitty callback from his secretary saying he wanted me to know everything had been arranged, that my cousins would eventually visit to go through personal belongings, but they would not kick me out, that I had to stay there until after graduating.”

You raised your own glass to your lips. What could you say? Despite never meeting Ikeda’s father in the flesh, you could not picture yourself understanding a man who had forced his sick wife to run away from him, who had sent his own son away as to just not see him, and who had not even shown up to his brother’s funeral.

People can be curses too.

“It must have been hard for you.”

The faraway look he had on could easily be a product of the alcohol in his system, but his words reflected true pain.

“He never called after that… Until, well, today. He suddenly remembered he had a son that could help him make ends meet.” His smile was sarcastic. “Isn’t that convenient?”

He laughed bitterly.

“He’s never…” He was refilling his glass when he looked at you. “Sorry, don’t get the wrong idea, okay? I’m not the type to get thirsty at the mention of trouble. It’s just with him…”

That night, you let Haruki vent, talk about all the things he probably did not tell anyone but that, for some reason, he always found easy to tell you, and when it was late and he was a just bit too drunk to find his way home, you walked him there.

He was not as much of a helpless drunk as Satoru could be, and the walk home had certainly cleared his mind enough to make him remember he had this scrumptious imported tea he wanted you to try. You were no specialist, but you still did not find a good reason to refuse him after the tough day he had gone through, so you accepted. One cup and you would be out.

As you tasted a blend that was not that different from what you had at home, in the opinion of your unrefined tastebuds, your thoughts kept drifting to Satoru, as they had also done while you where sipping your drink earlier.

Was that okay? Was this okay? Should you have told Satoru you were going to meet with Haruki?

He had gone abroad to attend “pesky, silly matters”, he said. He would return in the next couple of days. Meanwhile, he had been a bit out of reach as he always was while traveling, and it was not like you to inform him of every move; he was not like that either, so this should be okay, right?

Besides, Satoru had not given you clear indication that you two were dating now, or that you had finally upgraded your relationship and left behind your days as “more than friends, but less than lovers”. However, given the time you spent together now, the cuddle sessions, the holding hands, the kisses, and the fact that he was sleeping in your bed (although still in the most innocent sense of the word) almost every night, would not recognizing your relationship as something romantic be considered the natural progression?

You wanted to tell him that, that you were ready for it, and that if he was in, you were in.

However, maybe you were too proud to bring it up first. It would feel like confessing again. And even though everything about Satoru’s behavior seemed to indicate he would not reject you, it was hard not to be scared.

The sound of something shattering pulled you out of your thoughts.

“Haruki?” You stood up and walked to his room. At some point he had gone there to look for a book he wanted to show you. “Are you okay?”

You found him crouching down to pick up the pieces of the mug he had been holding not long ago.

He sighed without looking at you. “Sorry, I think… maybe I am more tired than I had thought. It just slipped off my hand.”

You had thought he seemed tired, yes, but when you kneeled to help him clean up, there was also a shadow of sadness in his eyes. “It’s too bad, it was one of my favorites...”

Maybe he was still under the influence of the alcohol, but the emotion he reflected appeared to be genuine melancholy.

You tried to help him pick up the pieces of the broken mug, but he stopped you, placing aside the ones he had picked up and taking your hand. “Leave it. Don’t want you to get hurt.”

You looked at your hand in his ,and the fractured handle of a mug in your palm that he then gently removed.

A flash of your youth crossed your mind. Your hand in his.

The first time Haruki had held your hand you had been walking him to the station so he could take his train home after work. It had taken you by surprise, but you had let him. There was something comforting about holding another person’s hand. Back then, the only boy you had held hands with like that and felt that close to was Satoru.

Yes, he had popped in your mind at that moment too, just as now.

Back then, if Haruki had leaned closer as he was doing now, you would have had little to no reason to stop him, but now…

“I can’t.”

Haruki blinked and you felt his hand tighten around yours. “You can,” he said and leaned closer.

You thanked half a life of training for the strength you possessed to stop him with just one arm on his shoulder. “I said I can’t, and I don’t want to.”

When your eyes met his, it seemed the fog in them was clearing. “Sorry. [name], forgive me.” He stood up and sat on his bed. “Please forgive me. I’m don’t feel like myself now.”

You had already guessed so. He was not the type to get out of line. For that, you could forgive him. And he was still your friend, and he was in pain. For that, you could comfort him.

You sat next to him and patted his back as he let some too long suppressed tears out.

Haruki swore he was not the emotional drunk type, but that night he allowed himself to be, to cry for the loss of his mom, for the kind of father he had, for a love lost in his youth, and for the shadows of his past.

By the time the sky seemed to match his mood, and you commented how weird it was to have rain this time of the year, he felt a bit better, so he asked you to stay.

He would not mind sleeping on the couch, because why would he send you home under the rain? No, even if you did not love him as you had in the past, you would always remind him of summer.

***

“Anyway, that’s what happened. I'm sorry I caused a misunderstanding.”

“And the reason you are telling me this is because…?” Satoru did not want to look at Ikeda, so he focused on the coffee he had gotten at the small convenience store the man in question had persuaded him to go into.

“You don’t have to believe me if you don’t want to. I just…” Ikeda sighed.

When he had recognized him across the street, Satoru had felt the flight or fight response kicking in. In one hand, Ikeda Haruki was the last person he wanted to see in the entire world, so he had thought of just leaving as if he had seen nothing, but when the man himself had recognized him too and held his gaze, Satoru had wanted to throw a good punch at him.

He was having this inner debate when Ikeda crossed the street and greeted him.

Apparently, he had been in a restaurant nearby with his coworkers, and when he had seen Gojo, he had thought he should at least say hi.

The idiot.

But when Ikeda said he had actually been wanting to talk to him, Satoru agreed to listen. That is how they had ended up at this small table with two untouched cups of cheap coffee in front of them.

“I just thought you should know what happened.” Haruki shrugged. “And that is, basically, that nothing happened, and I don’t think it will, because they...”

Ikeda wanted to tell Gojo you loved him, but that was still a hard pill to swallow, and it was probably not his place to say it anyway.

"That's none of my business." Satoru's words may have sounded uninterested, but a sharper look would see right through the facade. And Haruki was sharp.

"You are infuriating," Ikeda said and realized immediately that his statement had made Gojo finally look at him. "You always have been."

"What are you...?" Gojo started, but the other man did not let him finish.

"You try so hard to pretend you don't care when you do, and when you know they care just as much."

As much as Satoru wanted to believe it, needed to believe it, those here Ikeda’s words. What were yours?

Did you really care as he did? Did you really love him?

When Haruki heard him say nothing, he stood up and took his still full disposable cup of coffee, although he had no intention of drinking it. “Well, I guess it is up to you.”

Satoru thought Ikeda would leave, but he then turned and looked at him. “Gojo, just one more thing...”

Satoru directed his eyes at him.

“This time don’t be a coward.”

***

When Satoru got out of the shower later that night, or rather, extremely early that morning, despite the awkward encounter with Ikeda, he did feel calmer. It had certainly not been the nicest talk between acquaintances, but it had given Satoru something to hold on to, a possibility his heart had adhered to for a long time.

He just needed to talk with you.

That thought made him connect his cellphone to a charger after it being dead for over a day. He had just not bothered to look through his messages, so the screen lit up with notifications. Among those, one caught his attention: a missed call from you, from just a couple hours ago?

Odd.

“Why would they call in the middle of the night?” he wondered aloud to himself.

Satoru was going to check if you had left a voice mail, but right then, a call from Shoko came in.

“Gojo?” Shoko asked when he picked up without waiting for Satoru to say anything. “It’s [name].”

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Note: Sorry for being gone like that... I've missed you all. As for more important matters... Anyone caught up with the manga?

Thank you for reading!

Next: Part XXVII

@mavs-stuff @witchbybirth @crookedlyaddictedone-blog @tqd4455 @maybe-a-bi-witch @mo0nforme @maliakealoha @zacatecanaaaa @blushhpeachh @astriarose @missesgojosatoru @ba-ks @sukunasleftkneecap @songbirdlully @cole-silas @heijihattorisgf @chokesonspit @hersheyzzz @smolbeanzzz @luciledreamz @avidreadee123 @moonmalice @ratscandaler @sadmonke @allie-jay @username23345 @spin-garden @ashehateaccount @kayzens @blehtotheblehtothebleh @stellasloth @bloopsstuff @cheesemachine44 @tetsuski @rosellerinfrost @catowru @bi-narystars @wondermilka @fortunatelyfurrygiver @shrxui @cc1306 @chili-paste

[ponderingmoonlight]

gojo’s younger sister with nanami pls

Your wish is my command. Planned this for sooo long and now I finally have an excuse to write it down haha. Please let me know if you like it <3

Nanami and Gojo's little sister meeting again years after their ugly breakup

Pairing: Nanami x Gojo's sister

Word Count: 3,5k

Synopsis: It's been some hell of years since Nanami left Gojo's younger sister for another woman. But when her big brother invites her to Jujutsu HIgh again, things start to unveil...

Warnings: language, mentions of cheating, just got a new laptop so there might be some spelling mistakes (sorry about that)

As usual, I'm always thankful for comments, likes and reblogs. Thank you for your support <3

„Why me?“, Nanami growls, looking up from the paper in his hands.

“Because I’m absolutely not in the mood to listen to her gossip. Also, you’re her favorite. Sometimes I even think she loves you more than me…”

“Satoru, I’m not the babysitter for your little sister.”

“Come on Namani, I bet she’s happy to see you again! You guys got along so well!”

The imagines of your last meet-up crowd into his head and inevitably make Nanami grimace.

“The emphasis is on ‘got’. You know exactly what happened last time. What makes you think she wants to see me after all of this?”, Nanami questions in annoyance.

Deep down, he knows exactly that Gojo just wants to mess with him. It’s been years since he dumped you. Years in which you never saw each other again. Satoru mentioned that you are travelling somewhere in japan and driving out curses there quite successfully. You’ve always been a very gifted jujutsu sorcerer. It seems to run in the family – as well as your bratty behavior and good looks.

“That was years ago, I bet her sparrow brain has long since forgotten who you even are. Please pick her up”, Gojo purrs and rubs his head against Nanami’s shoulder.

Nanami signs in defeat. Does he have any choice at all? Hopefully you know about it and there is no nasty surprise…

-later at the airport-

Your bag falls to the ground with a rattle.

“What the actual fuck are you doing here, Sir”, you cry out, eyes covered in sunglasses.

“Your brother said to pick you up from the airport and that you know”, Nanami explains briefly, like it would somehow help curb your upcoming anger.

“That shithead. I just shouldn’t have come at all. Urgh, fine. Just don’t talk to me, idiot”, you snap back and angrily throw your bag in the trunk of the car.

Kento is the last person you want to see and Satoru knows that. Why is he sending him here? He could have moved his lazy ass to pick you up himself. After all, it was him who invited you to his academy in order to help him out.

You demonstratively sit in the back seat and cross your arms in front of your chest, not gifting him a single look. Kento was the first man to ever break your heart – extensively. And you will probably never be able to forgive him for that.

“That should not be a problem”, Nanami mutters to himself and starts the car.

Your eyes pierce through the back of his head. What did he just say?

“Like you’ve got a reason to be mad at me”, you hiss.

“May I remind you that you didn’t even give me the chance to work things out? You just packed your things and left”, Nanami comments dryly and starts the car.

“Like it was ever your intention to fix it.”

“Good that you know better what I thought than me”, he barks back, unusual aroused.

God, you’re still as annoying as back then. Always having the last word, you always think you know better, your overconfidence. It drives him insane. But you still look as good as you did then, like you haven’t aged a second. The only thing that catches is eyes are your now fuller curves and the fact that you cut your hair a little shorter. Well, you are a woman now, all grown up in your twenties.

“You left me completely shattered, asshole. I had no choice but to go. You made me lose faith in love and relationships forever”, you mutter, gaze wandering around the trees outside.

The thought alone runs shivers down your spine. Kento was your first and last love. You never believed a man would upset you like that, even though Satoru is your bigger brother. It hurt like hell for several years. Seeing him now, with his hair styled in a delicious undercut and the sharp lines of his jaw makes your heart ache in agony all over again.

“I sincerely apologize for that. It was never my intention to hurt you like that, (y/n)”, Nanami replies with a soft voice, completely startled by your confession.

He knew you had some rough years. Sometimes he just couldn’t hold back and had to ask Satoru how you were. But hearing from your own mouth how much he hurt you makes his heart sink in his chest.

“Whatever. Leave me alone and focus on driving.”

-at Jujutsu High-

“(y/n), there you are! You have no idea how much I missed you!”, Satoru shouts across the athletic field that separates you both.

Your whole body shakes in anger. That fucking asshole, the cheeky grin on his stupid face says it all. That was pure intention to get on your nerves. Satoru is probably the worst big brother you could wish for.

“I will beat your ass in front of your students, shithead!”, you yell at him and stomp across the square at a frightening speed.

“Who is that?”, Yuji questions and squints his eyes in order to see you better.

“That’s Gojo’s little sister. Be careful, she looks pretty pissed off”, Panda whispers while all pairs of eyes are set on you and Nanami walking behind you at a safe distance.

“Come on, (y/n). Let’s talk abou-“

Satoru isn’t able to finish his sentence as you blow him away with a simple hand movement.

“Pretty stupid to piss off the only person who can breach your sphere”, you hiss through gritted teeth, more than ready to hit him again.

“Oh, how much I missed our little fights. How was your ride? Nanami is an excellent driver”, he keeps digging while dodging your unfocused punches.

“I thought you valued my feelings more.”

The hurt in your voice makes him stop your flying fists in track, you can feel his eyes staring at you behind his blindfold. He knew, of course, that the breakup hurt, but the pain that glitters in your eyes is unknown to him. And the tone of your voice…You were always so confident, so sure of yourself. At the moment, nothing seems to be left of it.

“I would never hurt you on purpose sister. After all these years, I thought you guys-“

“Shut up Satoru, I don’t wanna hear it”, you hiss back and wrench your arms free from his grasp.

“Hey Megumi, how have you been?”, you question over your shoulder.

“I’m alright. Nice that you’re here, you are definitely my favorite Gojo”, Megumi answers with a disparaging look towards Satoru.

“Well, the competition isn’t that big. Excuse me, I’ll bring my stuff in the house. See you later, kids.”

Without giving your brother another look, you stomp towards the sleeping wing, body still trembling in anger. Why is Satoru such a jerk? He knows full well that this breakup has left you completely shattered. It would have been absolutely avoidable to meet Kento here. Instead, he decided to get him to pick you up from the airport and ruin your trip right from start. You don’t want to see his stupid handsome face, the exhausted veil that covers his overworked eyes and his outrageously strong body. Damn, his new undercut really does look good.

“Here is your suitcase, (y/n). Have a nice stay.”

Nanami’s voice behind you makes your blood boil in an instant. Fuck, why can’t he just leave?

“Stop saying my name”, you bark at him while literally ripping open the door to the familiar guest dorm.

“Why can’t you act grown up for once? I’ve always appreciated you, this childish behavior doesn’t suit you at all”, Nanami replies dryly and loudly drops your bags on the floor at the corner of the room.

His words hit you like a wall. In the matter of seconds, he rips open all the wounds you desperately tried to heal over the last years. Has he forgotten what he did to you, why you act this way? Hot tears begin to burn in the corners of your eyes, your throat feels dangerously constricted. No, don’t cry. You’ve never been the type to whine a lot, especially in front of other people. Kento has never seen the tears he caused. Why now, after all these years?

“I gave you everything I had, Kento! I gave you my virginity, my whole fucking heart, you were everything for me this whole time! And after our very first night together you just left, after all the things we’ve been through. The things you threw at me…I will never forget the words you said. You claim you always appreciated me? That sounds like an insult. Don’t you dare to ever judge me again for treating you as badly as you treated be. How’s your girlfriend, huh? Was it worth it to dump me because of her? You fucking idiot, if you talk to me like that again I’ll blow your head off”, you scream into his face at the top of your lungs.

You can’t help but let your feelings out. Fuck, it feels good to finally tell him what you think, to tell him how you felt this whole time. He ripped your heart out of your chest when he informed you about ending things because he met another woman, just after fucking you for the first time. You felt miserably for years, never let another man touch you again. He has some nerves, standing in front of you and blaming you cowardly. Fuck your outburst and your tear-stained cheeks.

“If only you would listen to-“

“GET OUT. NOW”, you yell, whole body trembling in agony and rage.

“I think it’s time to go, Nanami”, Satoru’s unusual serious voice announces in the background.

“I hope that someday we can talk about what happened, (y/n).”

With that, he turns on his heels and leaves the room quietly. As soon as his frame is out of sight, your body gives in. You sink to the floor, hands covering your blood shot orbs while you urgently try to calm yourself down.

“I’m just not interested into you anymore, we should end things right here.”

“That night meant nothing to me.”

“Don’t ever call or text me again.”

You need to get him and his words out of your head, ban them out of your heart. But how do you forget all those nights you snuggled each other to sleep, his sweet words that followed you wherever you went, all those missions you accomplished together. What about the plans you made? What about the trust you gave him? Your shallow, rapid breath hanging dreadfully in the air. You just can’t forget.

“Come on, (y/n). Seeing you like this is killing me”, Satoru sits beside you and gently wraps his arm around his shoulder.

You want to yell at him, tear your body away from his touch, to slap his arm firmly. But you can’t. Your body refuses to move, completely consumed by the feelings you tried so hard to avoid.

“I think you two should talk. Of course I don’t know all the details, but I do know for sure that Nanami isn’t a bad guy. Whatever happened must have a good reason.”

“He left me for another girl, Satoru”, you breathe out.

“You may be the most annoying woman on this earth and I’ll never understand how well you two came along in the first place, but I’d cut off my hand if that’s true.”

“Better cut off your tongue, man…”

“I’m serious, (y/n)”, Satoru’s features are entirely stern, not even a spark of humor gleams in his eyes.

“Nanami may not be a great guy like me but he would have never cheated on you, let alone left you because of it. Talk to him, ask him about it. Must have been something else.”

He straightens himself up again, pouting your head just the way you hate it.

“And now get yourself together. I’ve got a very nice mission for you to go on.”

You stare at his back as he leaves the room, his words still hanging in the air. Satoru knows Kento since he joined Jujutsu High. If he is so sure about his friend…

No. You shake your head vehemently. Even Satoru doesn’t know everything. You would rather die than talk to Kento Nanami ever again.

-the mission-

“Huh, are you finished already? I thought we’d have a little more fun together…”

Fuck fuck fuck.

Your whole body is covered in bruises and your own blood while you stare at the creature in front of you. Who the hell is this guy? And why on earth is he so fucking strong? You are a grade 1 sorcerer, easily able to defeat most curses around. But this one? You stare at his scarred face, grimaced into a dumb grin.

This is something out of your league.

“Send someone here before I croak here, dumbass”, you hiss into your communicator just in time before he hits you again.

His attacks are merciless, almost impossible to block even though he doesn’t use a sphere.

Yet.

You wipe sweat and blood of your forehead. Who knows what this fucker is capable of.

“Ms. Gojo, we are here to help you!”

You can’t believe your ears. Who the hell is this guy waving at you like an idiot? And who the hell is walking next to him…

No. Not in the world. Let it be anyone but Kento Nanami. His blonde hair waves through the air while he forces himself onto the scar head, distracting him from your very own self before he hits you full force.

Nanami. What is he doing here? Thick anger crawls up your veins. Yes, you ask for help. But not from Nanami and some random jujutsu sorcerer.

“I thought Satoru would come here himself. This is nothing to joke around”, you bark at Kento.

Just as you want to turn away, a scorching pain radiates from your leg and takes your breath. Fuck, where does that come from?

“Oh, you’re injured!”

Your heart sinks into your chest, palms covered in nothing but your own blood and met by a giant gash in your thigh. When did this happen? This asshole has hit you so many times that you probably didn’t even notice it in your adrenaline rush.  

This is bad. Very very bad. Even though he didn’t hit you critically, the amount of blood that runs down your leg is enough for you to know that you might bleed out if you won’t get any help.

“Are you alright?”

His tall frame lingers over you before you are able to stop him, kneeling down in front of you to take a look at your wound.

“Leave me alone-“

“This is serious. You might die, (y/n). I can’t afford to lose you.”

Like in trance you stare down at him, his words repeating themselves over and over in your head while your heart hammers against your chest.

“I can’t afford to lose you.”

“Why did you leave me, then?”

“Not now, (y/n). Yuji, stand your ground as long as possible. I need to escort (y/n) out of the curtain.”

“Gotcha!”

You slap his hands away, whole body trembling in…what? Anger, fear, agony? Maybe everything at once, you aren’t sure. His brown eyes dart towards you immediately.

“I’m trying to help you”, he comments dryly.

“This injury is nothing against the pain you caused me years ago.”

Your cruel words hit him like a wall. For a moment he can only stare at you, the way your striking blue orbs begin to glister and that look of distress on your beautiful face. No, you didn’t deserve what he did to you back then. You deserved so much better. But still…

“I did it for you.”

The words escape his mouth before he is able to stop himself.

“Oh, so traumatizing me was best for me? Wow, thank you so much for your help then. Maybe I should-“

“I saw what can happen. I saw what can happen when Yu died in front of my very own eyes. And I swore to myself to never let anything like that happen to you. I hoped you would quit being a jujutsu sorcerer, that hurting you enough would make you leave Jujutsu High for good, that you’d find a nice job. That you’d be safe.”

You stare at him through wet lashes, brain desperately trying to make sense out of his words. He can’t be serious, right? This can’t possibly be the reason why he left you.

But his eyes don’t lie. No, they never did.

“So you…you didn’t cheat on me?” you breathe out.

Fuck, you hate the way tears start to pool your eyes and how your whole body begins to tremble in emotion. All these years, all these horrible years you thought you meant nothing to Kento, that he ended your relationship because of another woman. All the things he said to you…They never left your head, always present in the following years.

You thought you weren’t good enough for him.

“I would have never cheated on you. But this was the only way to make you believe that I didn’t have any feelings for you.”

“Did you?”

You stare down at him, time standing still. All these wasted years of thinking you aren’t good enough. All these years you loved this man so much that you never let another man touch you. All these years of grieving his touch, of imagining him while touching yourself, of crying yourself to sleep instead of laying in his strong arms.

All this time. Can it really be fake?

“I never stopped loving you.”

Maybe it’s because of your blood loss or because your entire world turned upside down, but your knees give in, making you sink onto the floor if it wasn’t for Kento’s arms that catch you just in time.

“Come on, let’s get you out of here.”

With fast steps he crosses the battlefield, eyes set on you from time to time. You still can’t believe it, everything seems like a dream that you’ve had multiple times before. He loves you. Nanami Kento just told you that he still loves you. After all these years of pretending he doesn’t care and breaking your heart.

“I wish you would have told me”, you mumble against his chest.

“I wish you would have told me the real reason. I would’ve understood, especially because I know how hard it was for you.”

“I realized how wrong this decision was. But every time we’ve met you were so distant, not even willing to talk a single word to me. I never had the chance to make up”, he explains briefly.

“You said you cheated on me”, you remind him weakly.

“I would have never cheated on you. Since you’ve been gone, I never touched another woman.”

You look up at him through wet lashes, the way his jawline is so tensed up that it might snap any minute. The urge to let your fingertips brush over his chest just like back then seems so unbearable all of the sudden. God, how much you loved caressing his soft skin, the scars that even then decorated his whole body. How does he look now? He definitely got older, aged like fine wine. You want to stop yourself from looking at him, from grieving his touch. After all he lied to you, he shattered your heart instead of just telling you the truth. Yes, he doesn’t deserve your forgiveness so easily for how he lied into your face this whole time. But still…

“Would you mind…Holding my hand?” you ask all of the sudden.

Nanami’s heart almost beats out of his chest, the way you look at him simply takes his breath away. He would have expected anything, but not this. No, this doesn’t suit your hot-tempered personality at all. Never in his life did he think that you would ask him to hold you hand after all the things he did to you, after he hurt you this badly. But who is he to resist your vibrant eyes, especially when you’re feeling unwell?

“Of course…” he stutters.

When his fingertips gently intertwine with yours, you feel as if he fired a firework inside you. God, how much you missed this. How much you missed him.

You allow your tired eyes to rest for a minute, whole body suddenly feelings so numb and light. Maybe all of this is just a dream and you’ll wake up any minute. But until then…

You want to hold his hand just like back then.

“But don’t think I’ll forgive you this easily”, you mutter weakly.

“This wouldn’t suit you at all”, he replies.

And for the first time in years, Kento Nanami is able to grin again. Because he finally confessed to the love of his life, because you’re laying here in his arm while holding his hand.

Everything will work out eventually.

[clavissionary-position]

What Emma Would Do

Ignore me. This is just me working through my own thoughts and feelings on this. Also I'm an idiot.

***BIG EDIT: I misread and misinterpreted. Azel was nearly drugged and SA'd, so his reaction, however cruel, makes complete sense to me. If he was real I couldn't apologize to him enough.

Moving @/caffedrine's billion-dollar comments up here.

My original, misguided post is below the cut if you're interested.

I have to ask myself what Emma would do. Within reason. And only within the scope of this fictional game, because I'm not about to touch this topic as it exists in the real world. That's for people much smarter than me.

But for the game, my dismissing of Azel as a cruel misogynist without seeing his circumstances and worldview shuts down the conversation the same way it does when Azel dismisses a woman as a slut without seeing her circumstances and worldview.

(Did he actually use the word 'slut' or did google just translate 痴女 like that for me... I should double-check... edit: oh my bad, he calls her a "female molester", which... I can't say he's wrong considering she tried to give him an aphrodisiac...? The word also means "stupid woman", so he could very well have meant it that way too, especially for some reasons I get into later in the post.)

Soooo, he didn't actually call her a slut. I'm an idiot 😌 I'm sorry, Azel. Dunno if any of my points below mean anything, but I'll leave it here anyway:

The running theme in Ikepri is to look beyond the beast and see the human inside. To meet them halfway. To see their heart. And that heart is always so very terribly scarred. All these guys have gone through their own traumas and come out the other end behaving in ways designed to be armor, to protect themselves from any further pain.

I can only speculate about Azel this early in his story arc, but being showered with the same adoration and reverence that people only show a god, day in and day out, probably fucks with your mentality a bit if you are still only human at the end of the day. Having women try to seduce you only because you're The Living God, well, we saw what that kind of shallow treatment did to Silvio. Women see you as an object and so women become objects to you. You want to be loved, but you don't want to be hurt.

That might only be scratching the surface with Azel, though. He's also clearly jaded from listening to the same old interpersonal problems people have when in relationships. Love is actual trash to him, not even worth a single penny. It's trash because the very people who follow him prove it to him on a daily basis, I imagine.

Yet that's still not the full picture. I mean, we obviously won't have the full picture until his main route drops, but there's another key factor to consider with Azel.

He quotes Pascal in Licht's sequel. "Man is only a reed, the weakest thing in nature; but he is a thinking reed." The full quote goes onto say:

"All our dignity consists, then, in thought. This is the basis on which we must raise ourselves, and not space and time, which we would not know how to fill. Let us make it our task, then, to think well: here is the principle of morality.”

(Did I read the entire context of the quote? HA! What do you take me for? A scholar or something?)

Free will and independent thought is arguably the most important thing to Azel. He has no respect for the sheep who flock to him for direction (though he'll happily take their money and tributes). Even with the dancer who tried to seduce him in the prologue, when he tells her to lick up the food she dropped after he tripped her, he presents it as a choice. Nevermind that the staggeringly unequal power dynamics at play made it so this was nothing short of coercion in the end; there was no way the dancer was in a position to stand up for herself and say no, even if that's exactly what Azel wanted. But from his perspective, defiance would have been welcome. That's why he phrased it as a choice. That she started licking up the food only solidified in Azel's mind that this woman is an unthinking reed without dignity. If you're going to act like trash, he'll treat you like trash... maybe that was part of his thinking.

On a slightly different note, I think another reason he hates the idea of love so much is because love makes people lose their ability to reason, to think. I believe he outright says as much, iirc.

In the end, I don't know from where exactly Azel's fury and cruelty comes from. It could be all of these things, it might be something else entirely. All I can think is, you can't be 'God' everyday and not be scarred by humans.

In conclusion, I can't excuse Azel's behavior. I don't excuse it. But I think Emma would try to understand the why of it, like she does in any other route. The other running theme in Ikepri is that, as a certain someone would put it, the essence of all people is love. It's their environment that twists them. Somewhere in Azel is the purest kind of love. A kind that would make any god look away in shame. That's what I want to believe in, anyhow.

Also, I need stress that I was SO wrong about whether he actually called the dancer a slut or not. Google fucked me over by translating it that way! Ah, Azel, I'm so sorry!

[that-one-xachster]

by saying something stupid like 'i love you'

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"I love you"

"What?"

"Nothing."

-> 3 times in which you try to tell him that you love him, but thats not how it goes

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can be taken for any character that you'd like, I was feeling a bit silly haha- might get back into writing

not sorry if this one shot sounds like a comedy show rather than fully angsty, I wrote it based on how I have interactions with people, so im not sorry cause I don't know how you interact with people. please dont come at me for it not sounding angsty or wtv GAAAA I SOUND RUDE LMFAO WHAT

not proofread!

[f/n] = friend's name

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"I love you."

"Huh?"

He looked up from your notebook, holding his pen, explaining the question in chemistry you didn't understand. He sat so close to you, your knees touching, making you feel like a man in the 1800s who just saw a woman's ankle.

You shook your head.

"Nothing."

He just shrugged and went back to explaining the problem to you, and you shifted your weight, resting your head in your palms.

You tapped your foot repeatedly against the table, listening to what he was explaining, before stopping him -

"Wait a second, isn't that the wrong step? You gotta restart-"

"Huh? What are you talking about- oh shit."

"See-"

"Yeah, funny story how about we both just go and ask [f/n]?"

"True. Do that, she's the smarter one."

"Smarter than you for sure."

"No, you're the most idiotic one out of all of us, shut up-"

"No can do-"

You two bickered back and forth until the class ended, never getting to ask [f/n].

Moments like these were what made you fall harder.

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"I love you."

He didn't even hear you this time. Of course he didn't, how would he? He was in the hall, talking to some other friends of his. You're not his only friend, you shouldn't be so selfish-

"Did you say something? Sorry, I was submitting this assignment."

The same friend mentioned before, [f/n] sat next to you in class. She was adamant that you had a thing for the guy, despite your multiple attempts to deny it. No way in absolute hell would you admit that you had a flimsy, silly, teensy little crush on him. No way.

"Nah, you can go back to that."

"I have a better idea, did you hear what happened this morning to-"

And she told you about some events that occurred in the morning, as if she were your personal newsletter. For free of course. She was the nerdy type, but had many friends and always knew what was up with the school, and of course she had to fill you in. You listened to her tell you about random fights, break ups, make ups, and people being stupid in general, enjoying the time you spend with your friend.

Sometimes a distraction is good right? Sometimes.

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"I love you."

"What?"

"Nothing."

"No no no no- what? Repeat that."

"Dude, I said nothing-"

"Nuh uh, you keep mumbling random shit and won't tell me what it is bruh, spit it out."

"The hell you mean 'nuh uh'? Buddy you don't need to peek into everything I say, you see, im a verbal thinker hArDy hAr hAr-"

"..."

"..."

"....for the love of god never do that again."

"....yeah."

Akward silence engulfed you two. The teacher walked in after a few seconds, immediately starting the class.

Recovering from the past embarrassment, you whispered jokes to each other, poked each other with your pens, copied each other's notes when you couldn't finish writing them in time, and got caught laughing too much for a joke, but hey.

At least he didn't hear you mumble another soft, barely audible, "I love you."

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| ennoshita, atsumu, OIKAWA, tendou, hanamaki (hear me out), kirishima, denki (hmo), SERO, honenhuki, muramatsu (a very big hmo), + anyone else you'd like! these were the ones I thought of lol |

hope you enjoyed <3

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bonus ! funny little smidgen- well funny to me lmao

"Do you have the answers for math?" "I thought you did." "..." "..." "Ok- ok well I did half at home, I'll just do the other half now-" "Hold up- which half did you do?" "The first, why?" "Goddammit, I did the first too." "We're screwed?" "We're screwed."

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[dottielovegood]

For your Solstice prompts, I would love to see Elriel and 16. Baking (and would love even more if it turned NSFW ;)

Once upon a time, this fic was Christmas themed and had way more baking. But since it’s March, I re-wrote most of it because I'm not feeling particularly festive. I also might have taken out most of the baking because it felt like reading a cookbook, which isn’t especially interesting. 

So, this fic is basically feelings and smut, with a hint of baking. I hope it lives up to the prompt! 💕

────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──────

Questions and Answers

Azriel was currently sitting at Elain’s kitchen island, watching her decorate the cake she had invited him over to bake. He knew that she wouldn’t actually let him do anything, but he was too smitten with her to say no, so he showed up. And just like he thought, he had been told to just sit down and keep her company after approximately five minutes of baking. Not that he minded. He wasn’t much of a baker, and he loved just spending time with her. 

He had known Elain for almost two years now. They first met when his best friend, Rhysand, started dating her sister Feyre. And now, two years later, here they were, preparing a cake for Feyre and Rhys’s engagement party. 

Elain was bent over, her eyebrows furrowed in concentration as she piped the last of the frosting onto the cake. Azriel couldn’t help but think that she was the most beautiful woman in the world, even with her hair in a messy bun and frosting on her cheek. 

They had known each other for two years, and Azriel had been in love with her for almost as long. Any normal person would have confessed his feelings at this point, but Azriel was apparently not a normal person because he didn’t want to risk fucking up their friendship. 

He almost did once, though. Eight months ago, to be exact. Cassian had thrown a Christmas party and, like at all Cassian’s parties, the alcohol had flowed freely and all of a sudden, Azriel had found himself alone with Elain. Graysen, her asshat of a boyfriend, hadn’t been at the party, and like the love-sick puppy he was, Azriel had spent most of the evening talking to Elain. It hadn’t been a problem until it got late and Azriel decided to give her the gift he had bought for her weeks earlier. It was a necklace with a small, glass pendant in the shape of a rose. As soon as he bought it, he cursed himself because what kind of idiot bought jewelry for a woman who was in a relationship with another man? 

But even though he knew that it was stupid, he still kept the necklace, and, for some idiotic and inexplicable reason, he even brought it to the party. He hadn’t planned on giving it to her – not really. But then she was standing in front of him, telling him about her dream of going to the Netherlands to see the tulip fields and her eyes had been so full of life and excitement and Azriel just wanted her to keep looking at him like that. He wanted to be the reason for all her happiness and all of her dreams. Before he even knew what he was doing, he was reaching into his pocket for the small box, holding his breath as he handed it to her. 

She hadn’t reached for it. No, instead, she asked him to open it. 

Sometimes, he still thought about how she had smiled up at him and asked him to put it on. He still thought about how she seemed to lean into his touch when he fastened the golden chain around her neck. And he still thought about the way she angled her face towards his, silently giving him permission to kiss her. And god, had he wanted to kiss her. He wanted to kiss her and tease her and taste her. He wanted her to be his. He wanted so many fucking things, but they were not his to want.  

She wasn’t his, and that was the problem. So before they could do anything she would regret, he backed away. He told her that it would have been a mistake if they kissed. 

And then he left the party like the coward he was. 

They had never talked about that night again, and he never saw her wear the necklace after that night. Two months later, she broke up with her boyfriend and Azriel had somehow hoped that she would come running to him, but she never did. He thought that he had been pretty clear about his feelings that night and if she felt the same, it should have been clear that he would be waiting for her. But she never made a move, and since Azriel couldn’t risk losing her as a friend, he didn’t make a move either. Sure, he wanted her in so many other ways, but if friendship was all she would give him, he would gladly take it. 

Elain let out a breath, effectively bringing Azriel back to the present moment. She put down the piping bag and took a step back to admire her work. “It is done,” she said, and Azriel couldn’t help but smile at the serious tone in her voice. 

“It’s amazing, Elain,” Azriel said, and it really was. The cake was enormous, each of the three layers decorated with care. Elain had somehow covered most of the cake with flowers - some real, some edible. Azriel had never seen anything like it. “I think it’s the best one you’ve ever made.”

She worried her lip between her teeth and Azriel had to curl his hands into fists under the kitchen island to keep himself from going to her and replacing her teeth with his. 

God, he was pathetic. 

“Do you really think so, or are you just tired of watching me bake?” 

“Hey, I got to taste everything so I’m not complaining,” he teased. “But truly, they will love it. It’s a work of art.”

“Thank you.” She smiled at him, a lovely flush staining her cheeks. “And thanks for keeping me company. Sorry for banning you from the kitchen,” she added sheepishly. 

“No worries. I’m pretty sure there would have been some sort of cake disaster if you would have let me anywhere near it.”

Elain bit her lip again, but this time to hold back a smile. “Like that time when you added salt instead of sugar when we made pancakes?”

Azriel feigned a hurt expression. “I thought we agreed to never talk about that again.” 

“Oh, I never agreed to such a thing. I like teasing you too much,” she said and winked at him playfully. Azriel really hated the effect that little wink had on him. 

Oh, you tease me more than you’ll ever know, Elain Archeron. 

“I thought you needed help putting that cake in the fridge?” he said, leaning back and crossing his arms. “I might not feel inclined to help if you tease me about my baking skills.”

“Oh no,” she said with a fake British accent, throwing her arms out in an overly dramatic way. “Whatever shall I do? I cannot carry things, for I am but a weak little woman. Without a man, I am helpless. What, oh god sir, can I do to earn your trust again?” 

Azriel had to laugh at the absurdity of the situation. There he was, in Elain's kitchen, listening to her putting on the worst fake British accent of all time while also calling him sir and asking for his help. It was like a nightmare and a dream, all rolled into one. 

“First of all, don’t ever do that accent again,” he said, still laughing. “And second of all,” he leaned forward, lowering his voice, “what do I get if I help you?” 

She gave him a wicked little smirk and mimicked his body language, placing her hands on the kitchen counter and leaning forward. He did not notice the fact that he could see right down her top. Nope, not at all. 

“What if I don’t have anything to offer you?” She spoke slowly, her voice low and inviting and Azriel almost wanted to tell her to go back to the British accent because he wasn’t sure where this was going, but it started to sound like one of his dreams. “What shall I do then? Would you want me to beg?”

Azriel’s brain malfunctioned. This was definitely exactly like a dream he had just last week and he had no idea how to answer her since his brain only wanted to show him what happened next in his dream, when Elain went down on her knees and–

Azriel shook his head as if he could shake away the memories of that dream. “I, uh…well–” 

Elain stared at him for a split second before bursting out in laughter, “I’m just messing with you. I can give you a beer and something to eat,” she said, and just like that, Azriel’s vocabulary, and bits of his sanity, returned. 

She walked over to the fridge and opened it. It was almost empty, which was a rare sight in the home of Elain Archeron. Nothing was empty here - especially the fridge. Every surface held little trinkets or plants and the fridge was usually filled to the brim. 

“I had to rearrange it to fit the cake,” she explained. She reached into the fridge and grabbed a bottle. “Will you trade your strength for this cold beer?”

“Only if you’ll join me.”

Elain grabbed another beer and pointed one of the bottles toward the cake. “Gladly. But be careful, it’s probably heavier than it looks.”

“What happens if I drop it?” he asked as he rounded the kitchen island. 

“You shall feel my wrath,” she said in a voice that sounded suspiciously like Gandalf shouting you shall not pass to the Balrog. “And we would have to eat store-bought cake.”

“Heaven forbid.”

“My sentiment exactly.”

When the cake was safely put away in the fridge (it had indeed been heavier than expected), and the dishwasher loaded, they sat down on the couch together. Elain touched her bottle to Azriel’s. “To a job well done.”

“I didn’t really do anything but I’m glad I could offer some moral support,” he chuckled. 

“Moral support is the main ingredient, didn’t you know?” she smiled at him for just a second before lifting the bottle to her lips, and downing half her beer in one go. If Azriel hadn’t been in love with her before, this might have done it for him. 

“What?” she asked when she caught him staring. 

“Nothing,” he shrugged and took a sip of his own beer. “I just like that you prefer beer and whisky over girly drinks.”

Elain made a face at him. “Ew, Azriel.”

“What?”

“That’s not very feminist.”

“Okay, you have lost me.” He was genuinely confused. 

“I can’t help that I don’t like girly drinks.”

“It’s not a bad thing. I’m just saying that you’re not like other girls.”

“No!” she put her hand over his mouth and he had the sudden urge to lick her. He refrained though. That would have been weird. Just as weird as the fact that he wanted to lick her everywhere. Or maybe that wasn’t weird – maybe that was the normal reaction one would have after spending the day with the most wonderful girl in the entire world. A girl who just happened to like beer and whisky. 

“You’re making it worse,” she hissed just as her phone lit up with an incoming text message. Azriel was too far away to read the notification. 

“Making what worse?” 

She didn’t answer. She had picked up her phone, holding it up to her face so she could see the entire message. If Azriel wasn’t mistaken, he could have sworn that her cheeks grew just the tiniest bit pinker the more she read. 

“Who is it?” he asked, hoping that he didn’t sound as nosy as he felt. 

Still no answer. 

Mindlessly, she bit her just like she always did when she was nervous and Azriel wanted so badly to lean over and read whatever was on her phone. He didn’t, though. That would definitely be a creepy thing to do. 

“Elain?” he tried again. 

She startled at his voice, as if she had forgotten that he was there. 

“Sorry.” She quickly put away the phone, screen down, on the coffee table. 

“Who was it?” 

“No one,” she answered too quickly. 

“No one?” Azriel raised an eyebrow in question. “Was it Cerridwen sending you those dirty gifs again?” he teased.

“Not really.” Elain picked at the label on her beer bottle and let out a sigh. “Okay, I’ll tell you but you can’t laugh.”

“Is it funny?”

“I don’t think so?”

“Then I won’t laugh.” 

He really hoped that she was about to show him a silly gif from the movie Magic Mike or something. 

Elain took a deep breath and sat up a bit straighter. “I signed up for a dating app a few weeks ago.”

And just like that, their previous conversation about beer and whisky and feminism was forgotten. Azriel felt his heart drop. He really didn’t feel like laughing. 

“And I’ve been talking to this guy who seems really sweet. He just asked me on a date,”

she continued, and now Azriel was certain she was blushing. Fuck, he loved it when she blushed. He loved it even more when he was the one who brought color to her cheeks. This, however, felt like a punch to the gut. 

It shouldn’t come as a surprise to him that Elain would start dating again. She had broken up with asshole-Graysen months ago and she had so much to offer. But somewhere in his twisted mind he still thought that he had time. He still thought that maybe, just maybe, she would tell him that she had feelings for him too. He thought that she must have felt something that night at the Christmas party, and that they would talk about that night sometime. 

But that time never came, and now here they were. Fuck, he should have told her how he felt weeks ago. Months, even. But it just never felt like the right time, and he didn’t want to fuck up their friendship. But now, faced with the reality that Elain might date someone who wasn’t Azriel, he regretted every single moment where he could have told her how he felt but didn’t. His mind was reeling but he was somehow able to get out the next sentence in something that resembled a calm tone even though he felt everything but calm. 

“So, are you going to say yes?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know.” Elain let out another sigh and continued. “I never expected to find someone on a dating app, and I really do hate how impersonal it is. But from what I’ve gathered, this is how everyone meets people these days.”

“You sure it’s safe?”

He felt like an asshole. He was also on dating apps – or at least he had been before he realized that there was only one girl he wanted. However, he mainly used it for hookups – never anything serious. Elain was different though. He knew that she didn’t want to just hook up with a stranger. If she was dating and putting herself out there, she was taking it seriously. 

“Well, I think it is,” she tucked one leg underneath herself and twisted so she was facing him. “I mean, most of the men who have messaged me have been total idiots. You wouldn’t believe the shit I’ve been sent.” Azriel could absolutely believe the shit she had been sent and just the thought of someone sending Elain crude messages made his blood boil.  

“I almost deleted the app, but then Lucien wrote to me,” she added quietly. “That’s his name, by the way.”

Azriel just nodded. He had no idea who this Lucien was, he just knew that he hated him. Even if he was the nicest man on the planet, he was currently Azriel’s least favorite person. Apart from Graysen, that is. 

Elain didn’t wait for him to answer. “I mean, I think I should go on the date. He seems nice and he actually knows how to hold a conversation. And, in all honesty, he’s not ugly. Not my usual type maybe…” Did he just imagine it, or did her eyes linger on him? “Anyway, I should probably get out there more. At least according to Nesta.” She let out a humorless laugh. “She doesn’t want me to turn into a spinster, apparently.”

“You won’t,” Azriel managed to get out. 

She barely acknowledged his word. “But then again, it feels a bit weird to go on a date with someone you’ve never met, you know? It feels unnatural almost. Like, I have to make sure that we meet somewhere public, and I have to send my location to a friend in case something happens. And even though he really seems nice, I still have to think about my safety. Normally, I wouldn’t go out with someone if I didn’t know that they were a safe person, you know?”

Azriel was glad that she was thinking about her safety, but he also wished she didn’t have to. “But do you like him?” he asked, mainly because that was the only important question. He needed to know. He leaned back and slung one arm over the back of the couch and faced her more fully. He needed to see the reaction on her face. Needed to see as well as hear her answer. 

There was a beat of silence, and then, “I don’t know.” She had almost peeled off the entire label on her bottle by this point. “I think so? It’s hard to say when you haven’t met. But he’s polite, he has a job, he can hold a conversation and he seems genuinely interested in me, not just in getting me into bed.” 

She blushed again and Azriel had to try his hardest not to imagine what kind of messages she had received from the disgusting men on this stupid app. 

“There are a lot of polite men with jobs in this world, Elain. What makes you want to date this person in particular?” 

She seemed to think about his question for a while. “God, I don’t know. I felt so sure a few days ago but now–” her eyes drifted over to him and he held her gaze, refusing to turn away from her this time. “Now, I don’t know.” She took another sip of her beer. “What do you think I should do?” 

Azriel almost laughed at that question. He wanted to tell her to give him her phone so he could delete the app. He wanted to tell her that no man deserved her. He wanted to tell her that she was everything he had ever wanted. 

He wanted to tell her so many things, but the only thing that came out was, “Are you asking me if I think you should go on a date with a man you’ve never met who can turn out to be a serial killer?”

She rolled her eyes and punched his arm playfully. “I have face timed him just to make sure that he wasn’t catfishing me. And I doubt he’s a serial killer. He doesn’t have the vibe.”

She was trying to tease him – to lighten the mood, but Azriel couldn’t even smile at this point. 

“Yeah, but still. You said it yourself; it feels unnatural to go on a date with someone you’ve met online.”

“So you think I shouldn’t go?”

“That’s not what I said.”

Though, it was exactly what he meant. 

“Please, Azriel. I’m freaking out here.” 

Yeah, same, Azriel thought to himself and took another swig of his beer. 

Elain gestured to her phone on the table. “I need to answer him. He can see that I’ve read the message.”

For a second, Azriel contemplated telling her to go on the date. She did deserve to find someone to be with after all, and in all honesty, it was hard to find someone worse that her ex. But just the mere thought of having to see her happy with someone else made his stomach drop – made his heart ache. 

This thing couldn’t go on. Even if she didn’t want him, Azriel had to hear that from her. He couldn’t go on pretending as if he was fine with just being friends – at least not without seeing if there could be something else between them. 

“Azriel?” she asked, her voice careful. He had been quiet for too long. 

“You really want to know what I think?” 

She nodded. “Yes.” And when she looked at him with her warm eyes, full of kindness and questions, Azriel just knew that this was the point of no return. 

“I don’t think he’s good enough for you.”

She raised her eyebrows in surprise. “You know nothing about him.”

Was she getting defensive?

“No one is good enough for you, Elain.”

She put her bottle down on the table and let out an incredulous laugh. “So what? I should just be alone forever, is that what you’re saying?”

“No, that’s not…” He took a deep breath, trying to gather his thoughts. “I just mean that you should be with someone who will love every little part of you. You shouldn’t settle for the first guy you meet on a freaking dating app just because he didn’t send you a dick pic.”

“Are you serious right now?” she asked, gaping at him. 

Azriel didn’t answer her question. Instead, he decided to tell her the truth. She deserved it, and so did he. They had danced around each other for long enough. 

Azriel put his beer on the coffee table next to hers and leaned forward, catching her gaze. She just looked at him, waiting for whatever he was about to say. Azriel took a deep breath, and then the words that he had held on the tip of his tongue for too long came rushing out. “You should be with someone who loves the fact that you have to go to a different town to buy your tea because you like the owner and he’s too old to have a website. You should be with someone who loves the fact that you name your plants and talk to them as if they are real people,”

“Plants have feelings too,” she said under her breath. 

He smiled at her because somehow, he knew that she was going to say that. “You should be with someone who loves the way you scrunch your nose when you’re concentrated, who adores the fact that you hate girly drinks but love whisky,” she rolled her eyes at him but let him continue. “You should be with someone who won’t mind getting up at the ass crack of dawn just because you enjoy seeing the sunrise. You should be with someone who won’t make fun of you when you cry to Disney movies or when you sing totally off-key to Taylor Swift in your car. You should be with someone who knows you and even though no one deserves you, Elain, you should be with someone who loves every single part of you.”

For a few seconds, she just stared at him. And he stared right back. He felt as though he had run a marathon. Did she understand what he was telling her?

“And how do I find someone like that if I don’t put myself out there?” she asked, her voice small. “I have to meet someone before they can get to know me.”

“Or you can go out with someone you already know.”

“What are you saying, Azriel?”

This was it. This was the moment when Azriel had to tell the truth – even though it might ruin what they have. This was the moment that could change everything. 

“I’m saying that I don’t think you should go on that date because I’m in love with you.” He saw her expression change and almost felt the energy in the room change as those words left his mouth. She opened her mouth as if to say something, but no words came. He couldn’t tell if this was a good thing or not, so he continued, “and I know that it’s completely selfish and please feel welcome to tell me to fuck off, but I think you might like me too.” He swallowed around the lump in his throat. “That night at Cassian’s Christmas party… I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. I just thought that you felt something too, but we never talked about it.”

Silence stretched between them and even though every cell in his body screamed at him to reach out for her, he stayed still. He waited. And waited. And then…

“You called me a mistake.” Her voice was barely more than a whisper. 

“What?”

“At the Christmas party.”

“What? No. I said that it was a mistake if we would have kissed since you had a boyfriend. I may be a bastard, but I don’t kiss girls who are in relationships. Not even if their boyfriends are idiots.”

This made her laugh and Azriel held his breath, waiting for her response.

“Well, if you are a bastard, then I guess I’m an even bigger one because I really wanted you to kiss me that night.”

He really didn’t like Elain calling herself a bastard. She was the furthest thing from it. “We were drunk,” he offered as an excuse. 

“I wasn’t,” she said, looking at him with a sincere expression on her face. “I had one drink that night. If you would have kissed me, I would have let you. Gladly.”

And there it was – everything he had wanted to hear. He hadn’t imagined it. 

“And now?” he asked.

“And now what?” she asked, a small smile playing on her lips. 

“Do you still want to kiss me?”

In that moment, the world changed. Time slowed. Everything that happened then played out in slow motion – at least that’s what it felt like for Azriel. He felt Elain place her hand on his knee, saw her lean forward tentatively at first. He didn’t dare move. She looked at him, held his gaze, and then – she smiled. And her smile was devastating. It was the kind of smile that could brighten even the darkness of his soul. 

When her lips met his, he felt as if though fireworks had gone off somewhere in his chest, close to his heart. She was gentle, exploring. Her hand traveled up his thigh and he never wanted this moment to end. 

“Does that answer your question?” she asked, her lips not leaving his. She tasted like beer and sugar and vanilla and he needed more. He needed everything she would give him. 

He moved his hand to her neck, letting his thumb stroke her jaw. “Yes,” was all he managed to say before he pulled her closer. This time, there was nothing gentle about the way they kissed. If the first kiss had been a giving, this was a taking. 

Elain moaned against him when he deepened the kiss further, letting his tongue explore and taste. He moved his hand to the back of her head, his fingers tangling in her hair. “Azriel,” she breathed and never had his name sounded so good. He wanted to hear her say his name like that every single day from now on. 

Elain placed her hand on his chest and with a gentle push, she made him lean back on the couch. He was just about to protest since this also meant that they were no longer kissing, but then she shifted. She got up on her knees and straddled him, bringing their lips together again. 

Azriel was certain that he had died and gone to heaven. 

His hand explored her thighs, his fingertips playing with the edge of her skirt. Her skin was so soft and Azriel wanted nothing more than to explore what was hidden underneath that little skirt, but he had no idea how far they could go tonight, so he didn’t go any further. He let Elain set the pace. Her arms were around his neck, her fingers playing with his hair as she kissed and kissed him. He moved his hand to her neck again, trying to pull her closer even though there was no air between them anymore. 

“Fuck,” he groaned when she moved her hips against him. He could feel her smile as she did it again. They kissed for what could have been hours before Azriel finally broke free from her, both of them breathing heavily now. He needed an answer to the most important question of all. 

“How do you…” he didn’t even manage to get his question out before she answered. 

“I’m in love with you too.” She kissed his cheek. His nose. “I thought you didn’t want me since you never said anything. But I love every part of you too.” She moved one of her hands and placed it over his where it rested on her thigh. His scarred hand – the hand he always thought of as not worthy to touch something as precious as Elain. She squeezed his hand and kissed him gently again. 

“I’ve wanted to do this for so long,” Azriel said against her lips. 

“Only this?” she challenged. 

“No, not only this. But it’s a great start.” 

She sat up straighter and looked down at him with a smile before resting her forehead against his. “What more have you wanted to do?” He could taste her breath. He wanted to taste even more. 

“So many things.” He tried to kiss her again but she pulled away. 

“Like what?” 

He groaned and settled on kissing her neck. He could feel her shiver against him as he placed soft kisses along the column of her throat. “I want to take you on a date.”

“That could be arranged. But what do you want to do right now? What have you imagined?” 

He had no idea how truthful he should be in this situation since he had imagined doing all kinds of things with her - to her. “I wanted to kiss you.” He placed a kiss just below her ear and Elain hummed. “Everywhere,” he added. “I want to taste you. I want to…”

“Show me.”

“Elain?” His lips stopped just below her jaw. 

“Don’t tell me. Show me.”

He leaned back again and met her eyes and found his own desired mirror there. “You sure?” 

Once again, she moved her hips, grinding herself against his hardness. “Very.”

Azriel snaked an arm around her waist and before she could get another word in, he flipped them over so Elain was laying on her back and he was nestled between her thighs. This time, he was the one who ground into her. He was so fucking hard, so fucking lost to the sensation of her. He kissed her again, tenderly this time. Her arms wrapped around his neck to pull him closer. 

He held himself up with one hand propped beside her head, the other hand making its way up her thigh, over her hip. “So fucking soft,” he all but groaned. “So beautiful.” His hand dipped beneath her shirt. “Can I take this off?” 

“Only if you take this one off too,” she teased and pulled at the collar of his shirt. He sat up and pulled his shirt off and he couldn’t help but smirk when he caught Elain staring. “God, you’re hot,” she breathed and dragged one hand over his abs. He chuckled and bent down to kiss her again. 

Somehow, he was able to get her out of her shirt without breaking their kiss for too long. If you asked Azriel, not kissing Elain seemed like a crime right now. He kissed his way down her throat again and licked her collarbone. He brought one hand up to cup her breast through her lace bra. “Tell me if you want me to stop.” 

“Don’t you dare.”

He smiled into her skin and continued peppering her with kisses. When he reached her bra, he pulled down one cup and kissed the soft skin there before licking her hard nipple. “Az,” she moaned, and he did it again just to hear her say his name like that once more. He moved to her other breast, showing it the same attention while his hand gently played with the other nipple. “So fucking sweet for me.”

“Who knew you had such a dirty mouth?” she laughed, but her laughter quickly turned into a moan when he took her nipple into his mouth. 

God, this was even better than his dreams. The little sounds she made would surely be the death of him, and if they were, he would die a very happy man. He let his hand travel over her stomach until he reached her skirt again. “These little skirts you wear,” he whispered against her skin. “They drive me mad.”

“Oh, really?” she breathed, her fingers now tangled in his hair. “Maybe you should take it off then.”

He smiled and reached for the hem of her skirt, but instead of taking it off, he pushed it up until it was bunched around her waist. Once again, he sat back on his heels and Elain whimpered when his body left hers. She looked so beautiful like this. Her hair pooled around her like a halo, her cheeks were the loveliest shade of pink and that blush had spread down over her chest. Her lips were redder than usual and he was tempted to kiss them again. However, there was somewhere else he wanted to kiss first. 

He let his eyes travel down her body and found that her panties were the same lilac shade as her bra. Slowly, he let his fingertips stroke up the inside of her thigh. 

“Are you wet, Elain?” he asked even though he already knew the answer. She seemed to want him just as much as he wanted her. But still, he wanted to hear it too. 

“Maybe.” She was leaning on her elbows, her eyes never leaving his hand. 

He stopped just at the juncture of her thigh, his index finger slowly teasing the edge of her panties. “Should I find out?” 

Elain let out a shaky breath and gave him a small nod. With his knuckles, he stroked her over her underwear, eliciting the sweetest little moan from her. He did it again, and this time he added more pressure. “Azriel, please” she breathed. 

“So wet,” Azriel murmured. “So sweet for me.” He dipped one finger underneath the gusset of her underwear and found her soaked. Elain’s hands clenched the blanket underneath her as he gently stroked her. “I bet you taste so fucking sweet.” 

He bent down to kiss her knee - to let his lips follow the path his hand had taken just moments ago. 

“You… you don’t have to,” Elain said, her body tensing up. 

Azriel had no idea what just happened, but this wasn’t good. 

He removed his hand from beneath her underwear and settled it on her hip instead, his thumb caressing her hipbone. He wanted to soothe her, even though he didn’t know what just happened to make her tense up like that. “I know I don’t. But I want to.” 

She didn’t meet his eyes. “I know most men don’t like doing… well, that.” 

“What?” Was she serious? She thought he didn’t want to go down on her? And who the hell had told her that men didn’t like giving oral sex?

Her cheeks were red and she still wouldn’t look at him when she said, “So if you don’t like it, you don’t have to–”

He was shaking his head before she even finished her sentence. “Elain, I have wanted to taste you ever since that fucking Christmas party.”

“Oh…” 

“This is like every dream I’ve had in the past year coming true.” She smiled at him and put her hand over his where it rested on her hip. “But I don’t have to if you don’t like it.”

“It’s just…I don’t know,” her voice was barely more than a whisper.

“You don’t know if you like it?” he asked, confused. 

She shook her head. “I’ve never… well, no one has ever–”

“Are you telling me no one has gone down on you? Ever?”

Blushing even more, she shook her head again. 

Azriel had to school his expression just to not show her the surprise he felt at her admission. She had a boyfriend for three years. Three fucking years, and he never went down on her? Never tasted her? Graysen really was an idiot. But some part of Azriel was glad no one had tasted her before. That meant that he was her first, in some way at least. He didn’t know why, and it probably made him a douchebag, but he really liked knowing that he was the first, and hopefully last, to taste her. If she would let him, that is. He really hoped she would.

“Do you want to try?”

She nodded again, her eyes finally meeting his once more. There was a careful smile on her lips. “But don’t feel like you have to,” she added quickly. 

“Elain, I would beg for a chance to taste you.” 

“Well, you’re already on your knees,” she teased.  

“Oh, so that’s what gets you going, huh? Making me beg?”

She shrugged. “Perhaps.” He knew that she was just teasing him, but if she wanted him to beg, then beg he would. 

“Well, then…” He kissed her knee. “Please, Elain.” He kissed her other knee. “I have been dreaming of you coming on my tongue. Please, put me out of my misery and let me taste you.” His hand stroked up the back of her thighs.

“Well, since you’re begging so nicely…”

And that was all the encouragement he needed. Azriel kissed his way up her inner thigh and placed a gentle kiss over her panties. Fuck, she smelled so fucking good. Like sex and honey and Elain. He reached for her underwear and she lifted her hips so he could slide them off. When he dropped her underwear to the floor, Elain placed one of her legs on the back of the couch, giving him access to all of her. Gone was the shy, blushing girl. This was a woman who knew what she wanted, and Azriel would give her everything she ever asked for. 

“Beautiful,” he murmured as he settled between her legs. He had to make this good for her. He had to make sure that she was shaking by the time he was done. 

He kissed her inner thigh, and then the other. He placed a chaste kiss just over her clit, and one more a bit lower. When he flattened his tongue and licked her from opening to clit, Elain gasped and moved her hand to his hair. Azriel grabbed her hips and held her still and repeated the same motion.

Somewhere above him, Elain moaned. She moaned and twisted her fingers in his hair and Azriel had never felt so fucking good in his life. She tasted better than he would have ever imagined and the sounds she made as he devoured her almost made him come in his pants. 

He teased her entrance with a finger, slowly pressing it inside while sucking her clit into his mouth. “Fuck,” she gasped. He didn’t let up. He added a second finger, never changing the rhythm. “So good for me,” he whispered against her heat before taking her clit into his mouth again. He angled his finger upwards and the change made Elain moan even loader. He could tell that she was close from the way she started to babble. “Right there, please, just– oh god, please…yes, Azriel, I–”

Her body tensed underneath him, and then, with his name on her lips, she came. Azriel didn’t let up - he guided her through her pleasure and didn’t remove his fingers until she relaxed back on the couch. With one last kiss to her thigh, Azriel sat back up. 

Azriel had always found Elain beautiful - but she had never been as beautiful as she was right at this moment. She looked like an angel, and if you asked Azriel, having Elain Archeron come in his mouth was a damn near religious experience. 

He kissed his way up her body but didn’t make it very far before Elain grabbed him and pulled him up for a kiss. She didn’t seem to mind that she could taste herself on his tongue. “Thank you,” she whispered against his lips. Her hand traveled over his chest where she let her fingertips trace his tattoos. “I like these.”

“I like you.”

She rolled her eyes at him, but she couldn’t hide the smile playing on her lips. “Smooth talker.”

Her hand traveled lower, over his abs, before reaching his belt. She gave it a few tugs but ended up groaning in frustration when she couldn’t undo it with just one hand. Azriel wouldn’t lie - he enjoyed seeing her so desperate to get him undressed. “I want you,” she said with a pout and moved her hand so she was cupping him through his pants. 

Groaning, he let his head fall to her shoulder. “You are going to be the death of me.” 

She answered by licking the shell of his ear and squeezing his erection. His hips moved against her hand involuntarily, seeking friction. 

“Tell me what you want Elain.” He spoke against her throat, so god damned lost in the feeling of her. “I just did. I want you.”

“No, I need you to be more specific.”

She nibbled his earlobe lightly and wrapped one leg around his hip. “I want you to take your pants off.”

“And then?” 

“And then…” she kissed his cheek and lowered her voice, “Then I want you inside me.”

Yeah, he wanted that too. Needed it. Craved it. With a growl, Azriel stood up and offered a hand to Elain. Dazed, she put her hand in his. “What are you doing? I thought…”

“The first time I fuck you, it will be in your bed.”

“Oh,” the loveliest blush spread across her cheeks and Azriel pulled her closer. He tucked away a loose strand of hair behind her ear and kissed her cheek. “Or did you have someplace else in mind?”

“No,” she answered quickly. “Bed is fine.”

“Good.” Azriel bent down and picked her up. He needed to get her in bed right this minute or he might explode. Elain shrieked and threw her arms around his neck and let him carry her bridal style to the bedroom. The only light in the room came from a small lamp on the bedside table - bathing the room in a golden glow. 

Azriel put her down on the bed and he knew he should be a gentleman. He knew he should take his time and let her set the pace, but Azriel was no gentleman. At least not right now. Not when Elain so clearly wanted him. Not when all his dreams were coming true. 

He leaned down and reached for the skirt that was still bunched around her waist. He pulled it off her while she reached behind herself to undo her bra. When he took a step back, he finally got to see all of Elain. Somehow, he had imagined that she would be shy. She was a very gentle soul, and she didn’t talk about sex or use crude words. Somehow, Azriel thought that this meant that she would feel shy in sexual situations. He was happy to find the opposite. Elain leaned back on her elbows, seeming comfortable with him staring at her as though she was the answer to all his questions. Elain was comfortable in her own body - in her own sexuality. She knew what she wanted, and lucky for Azriel, right now she wanted him. 

Slowly, she circled one of her nipples with her finger while holding his gaze. There was a playful little smile on her lips. “Now you,” she said and let her eyes travel south. 

Azriel’s hands went to his belt and he could feel the way Elain watched his every move. “You really are the most beautiful woman in the world.” 

He undid the buckle. Slowly. Teasingly. 

“I have imagined this for so long,” he continued. “I have wanted you for so long, you don’t even know.”

He pulled the belt out of the belt loops and let it fall to the floor. 

“So have I,” she breathed, her eyes still never leaving his hands. “Even when I was with him, I was thinking about you. Wanting you.” 

Azriel heard himself growl at those words. It pleased him immensely to know that she had thought about him when she was with someone else. Maybe that made him a bastard? He really didn’t care. 

Azriel undid his pants and pulled them down his legs. He stepped out of them and kicked them to the side, all while keeping his eyes focused on Elain. She was laying on her back with her legs bent and, to his dismay, closed. They wouldn’t be for long. 

When he reached for his underwear, Elain stopped him. “No, let me.” Her voice was lower than he had ever heard it, so full of want and need that he almost just pushed her down on the bed and took her right then and there. But when Elain got on her hands and knees and crawled, fucking crawled, on the bed to him, he was helpless. Anything she said, he would do. It was like a scene from one of Azriel’s dirtier daydreams and he never wanted it to end. 

With a feline smirk on her lips, she stroked his cock through his boxers and kissed him just below his belly button. “You smell so good,” she murmured against his skin. 

He could do nothing but stare at her. Was this really happening? 

When she reached into his boxers and pulled him out, he finally found his voice again, “Elain…” Her name sounded like a prayer on his lips. He hadn’t been planning on this. In all honesty, he hadn’t planned anything that happened tonight, be he had definitely not imagined Elain on her knees before him, stroking his cock. Her fingers just barely managed to wrap around his length and he couldn’t help but love the sight of her dainty hand around his cock. Slowly, so very slowly, she stroked him once, twice. Azriel groaned and threw his head back. He should stop her. He should get her on her back and–

Before he could even finish that thought he felt Elain’s lips against the head of his cock. When he looked down, he found her looking up at him. Her tongue darted out to lick the drop of precum that had gathered at the slit. 

“Elain,” he said again, because her name was the only word he knew at this point. She was everything and he was losing his fucking mind. 

“I’ve wanted to taste you too,” she purred before flattening her tongue against the base of his cock and licking his entire length. He was just about to say something when Elain took him into her mouth, and once again, his brain malfunctioned. She closed her eyes and bobbed her head, taking him deeper while pumping him with one hand. There was no way she could fit all of him in her mouth. Not that he cared - this was better than anything he could have ever wished for. 

“Look at me,” he all but growled. He needed to see her eyes. Needed to see everything she felt. She did as he asked, and Azriel cupped her jaw. “Such a good girl,” he said and stroked her cheek with his thumb. She whimpered at the praise. Interesting, Azriel thought to himself. “You’re a fucking dream, Elain.” 

He saw the way she pressed her legs together. Saw the way her body reacted to his words. She took him even deeper, as if though his words made her want to prove something.  The more primal side of Azriel wanted to grab her by the hair and fuck that pretty little mouth of hers until he came down her throat. But he didn’t. Now was not the time for that. 

Instead, he moved his hand to the back of her head and pulled her hair lightly. “If you don’t stop, I won’t last much longer.”

“You say that as if that’s a bad thing.” She was breathless. Her lips were swollen and her mascara had smeared a little under one of her eyes. She had never looked better. 

“I thought you wanted me inside you,” he murmured and leaned down to kiss her. She tasted like him. 

“Technically, you were inside me.” 

Instead of giving her an answer, Azriel kissed her again. Placing one knee on the bed, he guided her until she lay down in the middle of the bed. She opened her legs for him and he gladly took his place between them. “You are so beautiful,” he murmured against her lips. 

“Please, Azriel,” Elain whimpered when he ground his hips against hers. “Please.”

Azriel reached down and took his cock in one hand, slowly stroking her with the tip. “Condom?” he asked because for some fucking reason, this was the first time all night that he had even remembered to ask about protection. This girl really made him lose his mind. 

“I have an IUD. We’re fine.” 

And thank fuck because Azriel needed to be inside her right now. 

He bent down and kissed her neck again. He needed to be near her. Needed all of his senses filled with Elain. He guided himself to her entrance and slowly - gently - started to push inside. He had to summon every ounce of strength in order to not fuck into her like some sort of beast. 

As if she could read his mind, Elain whispered, “You don’t have to be so gentle with me, Azriel.”

Just as the words left her mouth, he bottomed out. He was fully inside her and she felt so good. Too good. “So tight,” he murmured. “Don’t want to hurt you.” 

“You won’t.” She whimpered when he pulled out again. “I can take whatever you give me.”

He could feel that she wanted more. That she wanted him to give her everything. 

“Put your arms above your head.” The words came out like a command and she was quick to follow his instructions. She tightened around him when he moved his hand that had been holding onto her waist to her wrists, pressing them down into the mattress. 

She liked this. She liked it when he took control. When he showed her what he wanted. 

He pushed into her harder this time. “Is this what you want , huh?” he asked and pushed into her again. She wrapped her legs around his waist. “Yes, more,” she moaned. 

“Keep your hands there,” he ordered her. “You’re not to move until you come around my cock.” He needed his hand back. He needed to touch her while he fucked her. 

She did as she was told, and Azriel moved his hand to her breast, tugging at one of her nipples. She arched into his touch and moaned his name. “So fucking good for me,” he groaned. “Taking me so well. Asking for more.” He fucked her faster, harder. Followed the way her body so clearly told him what she needed. 

When he reached down to stroke her clit, she whimpered and tightened her legs around him. “Please,” she whined. “So close.” 

He fucked into her while his fingers played with her clit. Azriel’s lips found hers again and when she let his tongue into her mouth, he had no idea where he ended and she began. This was everything. Sex had never felt this good. This right. He was never letting her go. 

When he felt her body tense underneath him, he made sure to not change his pace. She moaned into his mouth, her body writhing in pleasure and her pussy getting impossibly tight as she came for him a second time. He could taste his own name on her lips when she climaxed. 

If having her come in his mouth had been a religious experience, this had him seeing god. 

As soon she was over her own edge, she moved her hands to his back. Her nails dug into his skin as he continued fucking her. He braced both hands beside her head and focused on his own pleasure. God, he was close. So fucking close, he should pull out. He should…

“Come inside,” she begged, her voice husky and raw and pleading. “Please.” 

Barely had the words left her mouth before he was spilling inside her. Azriel groaned. He could feel her smile against his lips and he knew, without a doubt, that this was it for him. She was it. She was everything. 

And if she would let him, he could be everything for her too. 

While Elain went to the bathroom, Azriel pulled on his boxers and went to the kitchen to get her a glass of water. He put it on the bedside table and got back into bed. When she came back, she was wearing his shirt. 

His cock hardened at the sight of her in his clothes. God, he was a possessive bastard. 

With a smile that told him that she knew exactly what she was doing, she climbed into bed next to him. She kissed his shoulder and cuddled close to him. Azriel wrapped one arm around her and kissed the top of her head. 

They stayed like that for a few minutes, just enjoying each other in the silence. 

“Thank you,” Elain whispered after a few minutes. 

“For what?” 

“For telling me how you felt,” she said and pressed her nose to his chest, breathing him in. “And for giving me two orgasms. I usually never come during sex.” 

Azriel had no idea what to answer to that. God, her ex was even worse than Azriel thought. He almost told her that, but he really didn’t feel like bringing up other men right now, so he settled on, “I’ll give you as many orgasms as you like.”

“Promise? I might get greedy,” she teased. 

“I promise.”

Elain lifted her head and placed a soft kiss on his lips. “I should probably delete that dating app now.”

Azriel had forgotten about that damn app. He had forgotten about the message that was waiting in her inbox. 

“Give me your phone and I’ll do it.” 

She laughed and handed him her phone. “Something tells me that you can be a bit territorial.” 

He wasn’t. Not usually. But with her - all bets were off. “Is that a problem?” 

“Not at all.” Her fingertips traced his tattoos again, following every little swirl that covered his chest. “I can be a bit territorial too.”

“Oh, really?”

“Mhm,” her hand drifted lower. “And a bit demanding.” 

“Is that so?”

When she reached inside his boxers for the second time that night, Azriel could do nothing but surrender. Her phone lay forgotten somewhere between the sheets.

-----------------

(I know that the pacing/writing is a bit off. I haven't written anything in months and it will probably take me some time to get back into writing. If it sucks, please don't tell me lol)

[11queensupreme11]

Just wanted to ask (not sure if this got sent properly) but how could a loser!girlflop!MC NOT set back feminism?

Especially in the premise of your fic, where, if the tags are anything to go by, the female girlflop mc will lose everything she holds dear including her mental stability and bodily autonomy to five or more overpowered MEN (granted they are gods, but still men.)

The main difference between her and OG!Percy, who got both the love of his life Annabeth and a pretty set future at New Rome College? Their gender.

Just to explain, I for one fully, or at least mostly understood what I was getting into when I began reading Arsenic Blues. I saw the Dead Dove tag, and know how to differentiate reality from fiction.

However, there’s a possibility that some loud mouthed single braincelled men out there (or women with internalized misogyny) that considers a fem!Percy with practically the same strength, abilities, and personality, too pretentious or something, began reading your fic after seeing the tags to get off on fem!Percy being non con fucked out of her mind, traumatized, and knocked down a peg or billion, reduced to a mere common victim of the gods, because they don’t like the concept of a strong fem!Percy. Cuz surely a loser coded girl saving Olympus is just a fluke and she needs to be put in her place by capable men😒

(This possibility is of course not your problem nor responsibility of course, but it still does not negate the fact that it sets back feminism, as some may use it as “proof” that women are inferior idiots that can’t be trusted with power.

“Look at OG!Male!Percy! He saved Olympus and the world twice with little to no major losses, got the girl, and has a bright future! Look at fem!Percy. This idiot managed to destroy her world in her stupid attempt to do what only a male version of her could! I knew that first time was a fluke!)

An example of this would be Zenitsu from Demon Slayer, ( a loser coded cringey but cute badass, first character that came to mind), who has a pretty large fan base despite his loser personality. Make Zenitsu a girl, and all of a sudden everyone is bashing her for being the weak link, dead weight, pick me bitch.

Or using TBOSAS, some people truly blame Lucy Gray for leaving a clearly psychotic person and says that the Hunger Games were her fault for leaving. It’s her fault that Snow turned evil, blaming the woman for the man’s actions.

(you sent this twice, but the only difference is the last paragraph, so im just gonna answer to this one instead of repeating both, hope you don't mind!)

i truly don't believe my fanfic is gonna set feminism back because, as you said, it's not my responsibility if some incel or girl with internalized misogyny sees it and uses it as a "gotcha" that "hahaha girls are weak cuz look what happened to fem!percy".

no normal person is gonna read my fic (or any book like this in general tbh) and suddenly think "omg.... girls are inferior to men! this book told me so and i'm gonna take it as fact!". if someone does think that, then they already had issues to begin with way before they started reading. my fic did not give them those issues.

normal ppl don't let themselves get influenced by a book in such a way because they've already gotten a solidified sense of right or wrong and they should already know "yeah the stuff happening to this MC is bad and not at all their fault. anyway! time to enjoy more of their suffering 🤪".

UNLESS ofc, they don't have a fully solidified sense of right or wrong, meaning they're just way too young to be reading my fic (or books like it). even then, not really my fault because i already gave out the warnings and even ao3 gives an additional "are you sure you wanna read this?" page. people can't control who reads the fics/books, they can just give out warnings

also, about the og male!percy vs my fem!percy thing, i can easily just write fanfic about og!percy going through the same thing. then what are they gonna say? in fact, there already ARE some juicy dark fics about poor og percy, savior of olympus, being reduced to just another victim of the gods (there's actually a lot more dark fics of og!percy going through traumatizing shit then there are fem!percy ones hehe 😍)

[maidragoste]

Heeey I have more songs: 👉👈

Apologies if any are already there and I just blanked them.

false god by Taylor Swift

Don't Blame Me by Taylor Swift

Exs's and Oh's by Elle King

Maneater by Nelly Futardo

Boyfriend by Dove Cameron

Babooshka by Kate Bush

Running Up That hill by Kate Bush #Velaryon Sibling feels

I'm not a woman I'm a god by Halsey

God is a woman by Ariana Grande.

I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance With you by Black Kids (this was in Jennifer's Body so I had to)

You're On your Own kid by Taylor Swift

It's All Coming Back To Me by Celine Dion

Bejeweled by Taylor Swift

Bonus: Kitty Kat by Megan Thee Stallion.

I LOVE EVERY TIME YOU SEND ME SONGS TO ADD TO THE PLAYLIST 💖💖

I don't know who you were thinking about when you sent the songs so I'll tell you what dynamics or characters I can relate them to (you can tell me later if you agree or not)

False God

This song makes me think of Reader and Harwin. Especially these lines because I think of Rhaenys and Corlys disagreeing with the Reader marriage but she ignored them and got carried away by her faith in Harwin.

Don't Blame Me

I had already added this song to the playlist thinking about the relationship between Reader, Alicent and Larys. I can honestly see the three of them ready to commit murder for each other lol

Exs's and Oh's

BESTIE THIS SONG IS SO READER. EVERYONE IS OBSESSED WITH HER AND WON'T LEAVE HER ALONE

Maneater

Again Reader having everyone at his feet 🛐🛐

Boyfriend

I had also added this song thinking about Alicent when she finds out that Harwin is cheating on Reader with Rhaenyra. I also thought about Reader seeing how Viserys is a shitty husband and father.

Babooshka

Reader and Harwin.

Running Up That Hill

IT HURTS ME BECAUSE I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT LAENA AND READER AND LATER WHEN READER LEARNS ABOUT LAENOR'S DEATH. I'M NOT OKAY

I'm not a woman I'm a god

There are so many lines that I can identify with Reader.

"Maybe I could be a different human in a new place"

"I just wanna feel something, tell me where to go"

Reader after the deaths of Harwin and Laena

" 'Cause everybody knows something I don't wanna know"

Reader refusing to see what was happening between Harwin and Rhaenyra before Jacaerys was born.

"I am not a martyr, I'm problem

I am not a legend, I'm a fraud"

I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance With You

The truth is I didn't know it because I never saw the movie but this song screams Rhaenyra

You're On your Own Kid

THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE TAYLOR SONGS, I DON'T KNOW WHY IT DIDN'T OCCUR TO ME BEFORE. The truth is I can relate it to Reader, Alicent and the green children

It's All Coming Back To Me

Harwin's haters are going to hate me but it made me think of him and Reader. Of course she hates him for what he did to her and she doesn't plan to forgive him, but God, they have a lot of history and when he helps her with the children and sees how he takes care of them even though they aren't his, it's easy to get confused. I don't know if it makes sense but I also thought Daemon, Reader and him also have history so even though he has his idiotic moments she can't really hate him. I also feel like they never had a proper closure because again these people don't know how to communicate lol

Kitty Kat

I had never heard this song before so imagine my reaction 👁️👄👁️

Thank you for writing to me and collaborating with the playlist 🥰🥰

I hope you are well 💖💖💖

[thereader-radhika]

Ravidasan and Soman Sambavan at Tanjore, just before Ravidasan leaves for Kadambur

"What about Maduranthaka Thevan, then?" "Let him stay alive if he wants. It will be a good thing if an imbecile like him sits on the Chozha throne for some time. The Pandya Emperor has to come of age, isn't it?"

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Soman Sambavan meeting Maduranthakan and recognising him as Veera Pandyan's son

I was wandering around the garden . . . He approached me and said, “Prince! I've come here with the sole purpose of seeing you. Periya Pazhuvettarayar and Kandan Maran sent me to fetch you. A big army is getting ready to support your claim to the throne." I became quite suspicious of him.

I replied, ‘Why should I come out if there's a big army waiting there? Why can't they come here, defeat the Kodumbalur forces and place me on the throne?’

“Prince! That's not all there is. There's a dangerous secret connected with your birth. No one else will dare to tell you about it, but I will,’ he said.

‘In that case, come, we'll leave at once,’ I said.

To which he replied, ‘I have to give the Prime Minister a piece of news. Let me first go and tell him, while you stay hidden in the tunnel.’

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Aha! Who was that fellow in Sundara Chozha's garden who said he would tell me the secret of my birth? . . . While making an attempt to kill Sundara Chozhar, he killed that mute woman. He cannot be blamed.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: The New King

When Chinna Pazhuvettarayar fell into the chasm, cries of 'Long live Amarabhujanga Nedunchezhiyan!’ rose above the noise of the falls.

Imagine Soman Sambavan sharing his exciting discovery with Ravidasan

Ravidasan: Soma, how did the mission go?

Soman : Failure, as usual. What about you?

Ravidasan: Success 😁😁

Soman : What? (Hugs Ravidasan) Yay! Yay! The sinner who took the head of Veera Pandyar is dead. Yay! Yay! Did she do it? Really?

Ravidasan: Well, I am not sure. All those fools were behaving like they haven't met a woman in their entire lives. Hiding, shouting, pleading, crying, choking each other . . . She too was screaming her lungs out. Anyway, our meen-vaal pierced his evil heart. I saw it with my own eyes.

Soman : Oho! Now listen to this. I might not have killed the usurper but I discovered our lost treasure.

Ravidasan: In Lanka?

Soman: God! No! How do I explain this? There is one more - an adult man, the heir to our throne, no, no, I mean, our Emperor. That mute woman has two children.

Ravidasan (gasping) : Explain

Soman: Ravidasare, think. What was the reason for Veera Pandyar's confusion? How did we recognise Nandini Devi? The mother and children look like they were cast in the same mould. You just have to meet him once.

Ravidasan : Did he come there in search of his sister? Why didn't you bring him with you?

Soman: There is a small problem. You see, our Emperor is . . . is . . . how do I say this? Maduranthaka Thevanrrr. Yes, Maduranthaka Thevar is Veera Pandyar's and the mute woman's son.

Ravidasan: Get lost!

Soman: I know, we have to find a new name for him. You just have to see him once. Just once. That woman . . . what did she tell us? Girly? Idiot? Idiots are those blind morons. How come they didn't realise that she looks like our Emperor in a longer wig?

Ravidasan (to himself) : Perhaps that's why they sent her away and never let him come out. (Aloud) If what you are saying is true, the mute woman won't trouble us anymore. Any woman will support her own son over her cheater ex's son.

Soman : Yeah, about that . . . She had to jump in between and spoil everything. She couldn't have survived.

Ravidasan: Good riddance. WHAT! Oh no!

Soman : Don't worry about that. I am willing to accept any punishment our Emperor decides. That will console Devi too. Don't tell her anything now. (They don't know that Madu doesn't give a damn about Mandakini's death)

Ravidasan: Hell! Even yesterday, I told Paramu that she is Veera Pandyar's consort. First things first. We need to retrieve the Emperor and convince him. Then make arrangements for your execution. The little Emperor will stay hidden untill we can be sure of his safety.

Soman: We only have to give a hint, he will come running.

[justanisabelakinnie]

YES THANK YOU OMG

It really bothers me so much because like. Women are still underrepresented in media even now. And even if they weren’t, sexism is still a historical thing and the vast majority of media throughout history has centered around men. So even if women had more representation now it would still fail to catch up to the vast majority of male-centric media that already exists out there! I also agree about the lesbophobia and transmisogyny part because often wanting to erase female representation erases them as well. Which is no coincidence since lesbians and trans women are like the least “male-centric” group. Because lesbians don’t like men and trans women want to escape being assigned the label of “man” which the patriarchy detests. Which is why people always complain about characters being canon lesbians or even headcanoned as such, and why they always want to insist that trans female characters(Alluka and Snapdragon come to mind) are/should just be gender-fluid or feminine boys.

I remember in I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou, there was a chapter(page 75, if anyone’s wondering) where she talked about how she was ashamed of being a girl and wanted to be a boy for so long because she was an avid reader who constantly escaped into books and related to the heroic protagonists, but all the stories were about boys. And she felt like a failure who would never amount to anything no matter how smart, brave, and heroic she was because she was “just” a girl.

And like…? Point to ANY boy or man out there who has EVER felt that way from watching or reading media. Who has felt ashamed of being a boy because as a child all the stories they read had female protagonists doing amazing things. IT DOESN’T EXIST. The only people who complain about boys feeling ashamed to be boys because the media they like is too “woke” are whiny soccer moms and right-wing MRA men who are threatened by every work that doesn’t have five men for every woman and lets its female characters be more than just Smurfettes, girlfriends, and damsels in distress. Meanwhile their sons are just enjoying MLP and Ever After High with no problem.

Also even if the protagonist is male you will still see this complaint. Like with Steven Universe people whined and threw a hissy fit and complained that there “weren’t any male Gems”. There are! There’s Steven! Be content with that!

And also while I’m not in this fandom, I saw an AU of The Owl House where they made Hunter the main character instead of Luz and made Amity straight to be his love interest which BOILS my blood beyond belief.

And yeah those idiots making AUs of Jennifer’s Body with men in them are so dumb. I have to wonder why they are into the movie or what lessons they got from it if they’re out here saying shut like “what if it was about BOYS”. Like the first line is literally “hell is a teenage girl” and the movie makes sure to show why. Plus it’s all about female objectification, rape/virginity culture, and lesbian/sapphic longing in a patriarchal society that shames women’s sexuality while also telling them that they just appeal to men. Plus, how did they forget about lines like “PMS isn’t real, Needy, it was invented by the boy-run media to make us seem crazy.” Or Needy standing up to the leader of the band when they slutshame Jennifer(unfortunately it got Jennifer in a load of trouble but still). Or all the themes about the Madonna-Whore Complex? Or Needy killing the band(I don’t remember what they’re called, they’re frankly irrelevant to me EDIT: They're called Low Shoulder I'm dumb as all hell) at the end of the movie? Like, why do they think she did that? Seriously??? I also can’t forget the “‘are you guys rapists?’ ‘God, I hate girls.’” Part either. The entire story is about women’s roles in society in multiple ways that I can’t even go into now but HELLO?! WAKE UP!!! Misogyny exists you know! Women are still an oppressed and marginalized class! Our stories deserve to be told!

These guys are the type to tune into shows like this and only focus on the male characters and then wonder why they’re getting “shafted” lol.

But I’ve talked enough so I’ll stop here. Anyway I’m so glad you agree with me. I promise to those guys that their balls won’t fall off if a show that’s not about them exists. The world doesn’t revolve around you and that includes fiction.

Nah but it's the way every time a story features or is about women or a woman's story, people always want to try to make it about men or say "what if there were men instead?"

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and Six: the Musical both have parts of their fanbase(although thankfully in Six it's not the majority) saying that there should be a version with all men or going "what if this female main cast had a male main cast instead"? Even though the point of both is to provide representation for women, MLP is about how there's no wrong way to be a girl and changing the way girls'/girly shows are seen as shallow and less good, and giving girls multiple strong female characters to see themselves in instead of just one token/cookie cutter archetype, while Six is all about REAL-LIFE women whose lives were destroyed because of misogyny, it is all about girl power(same as mlp) and women getting to reclaim their stories from a patriarchal society that shortchanged and silenced their voices throughout history, but no let's make it about men lol.

The same is true for Sailor Moon, I have seen some people say that it's sexist or "misandrist"(as if that's even a thing lol) because it's all about women and the women are more powerful and how Tuxedo Mask "always needs to be saved" like goddamn let the girls be the heroes who save the world for once.

And for that matter PRECURE. Unpopular opinion that will surely get my head bitten off by fans but I don't think Precure NEEDS male Cures and it's not "erasing" feminine boys or saying boys can't be feminine or "reinforcing gender roles" to point that out. Precure is a franchise about female characters being the heroes and main characters who are powerful while also being feminine, it's supposed to place the women center stage and give them the spotlight when most media doesn't do that, trying to fit boys in it is just ruining that message imo. Tbh I would be happy if there were no male Cures at all, idgaf about your "but let boys be feminine" shit cuz I mean yeah but like go watch Cute High Earth Defense Club Love or something, that show seems more your speed(@ sexist Precure fans who say this, not you). I once got my comments removed TWICE for trying to point this out to someone, to the point where I just blocked them lol. One person even went so far as to make a petition for Toei Animation to make an all-male Precure season, again, just go watch Cute High, bc clearly that's what you're looking for.

I also saw some people complaining about Project MC^2 being "sexist" against boys and making them out to be stupid just because it's about girls being smart spies and good at math/art/science, one review even said "teach girls that boys matter too!" oh rly like they don't know already??? Like the world doesn't already tell them that each and every single day??????? The second girls get the spotlight everybody acts like boys are being attacked, but when boys get the spotlight it's all crickets and shit bc boys are supposed to take center stage like no one cares about girls getting attention. Your seven-year-old son isn't going to enter a self-hating misandrist crisis because one wee show said "women do run the world!" we still live in a patriarchy ffs.

Also in Cardcaptor Sakura the main character is a girl and the story has many female characters and is very empowering to women in general(while also having a great deal of powerful men and even a canon m/m couple), and yet I still saw this one annoying guy write an entire screed about how Sakura sucks as a character and should never have been Cardcaptor, the cherry on top was them saying that Syaoran should be the Master of the Clow Cards instead...because it's not enough that this show has multiple representations of positive men/masculinity in addition to women/femininity, it's still not good enough if it's a girl power fantasy, it MUST make a boy the hero!

I also saw someone say that Touhou, which has an all-female cast, needs more men. Wonder if they'd say the reverse if it had an all-male cast(correct answer: they wouldn't).

And then there's the Encanto fandom's entire can of worms where they went through that phase of wanting the female-dominated cast to be all about Camilo and Bruno, sidelining the women in the process. Like bruh. 😕

I really do wish that people would stop this shit, female-centric media is really never allowed to exist without people wanting men to be prioritized in it and take away from the female representation even though men have enough representation already lol, people can't handle when not everything is about men. It's why I will never listen to or take anyone seriously when they complain about shows like these being "sexist against men" and say that anything I write is too female-centric. Like. GOOD. The world needs more female-centric casts to shake up the status quo! You guys love complaining about shows being gendered and wanting gender equality in fiction only towards female-centric works, because you don't want to see women playing central roles without men also being there. Sucks to be on the other side of the playing field now, huh?

Anyway, I was inspired to write this to you rather than make it an original post because of your comment about people wanting Jennifer's Body to be about men(with Miguel as Jennifer) and yeah that is so disgusting and irritating. 🤢 I didn't even know that was happening but I'm not surprised because nobody ever lets shows about girls just center girls first and foremost. It truly is everywhere and I'm sick of it. Not everything needs to be about men, just let the women have something. Please.

Sorry this was long lol. 😅 Thanks for reading this far lol. You're a trooper! Have a nice day!

THIS ASK IS SO REAL ON SO MANY LEVELS!!

this also extremely effects lesbians and trans women because with lesbian women you’ll have people being like “do they really have to be gay? Why can’t they just be normal?” And with trans women it’ll be like “why can’t we just have normal nonqueer characters” or even “why can’t men just be men anymore” it’s like they hate any and all women and girls no matter what we do and it’s so insane to me

also I talked a little about this same phenomenon happening with Jennifer’s Body (2009), where there were people making aus of that movie with mainly MALE characters which downplays the whole message and plot of the god damn movie and it’s so ughhh

anyways sorry I took so long to get to this ask but everything you said is extremely true and I’m glad you brought attention to it!

also btw RADFEMS AND TERFS FUCK OFF THIS POST IS NOT FOR YOU

[kkodzvken]

take the dive - sugawara koushi x milf!reader

tags/warnings: smut, 18+ ONLY! slight dubcon, infidelity, post timeskip (suga teaches reader’s kids). overstimulation and slight dumbification, oral (f. receiving), unprotected sex, semi-public (in an empty classroom)

a/n: this is my piece for @ultimate-astridwriting’s milf fuckers collab, which you can find here!! thank you for hosting this astrid, and thank u to everyone in the server for ur love and support as i worked on this <33. title cred: take the dive by jonghyun

wc: 3.9k

Amidst a faculty full of stuffy old dinosaurs and suits, Sugawara Koushi is a breath of fresh air. He’s a welcome distraction, a pretty face to focus on at dull PTA meetings and assemblies. And you knew that you weren’t the only one making heart eyes at him. Everywhere that he went, heads turned, and moms whispered. At the bus stop, on the sidelines of sports matches, in the waiting rooms outside dance classes.

It was just that, though -- just whispers. Little knowing glances and nudged shoulders, dreamy sighs and brief sinful indulgences. Nothing more than a brief escape from the monotony of your everyday lives. You’d lose yourselves in the fantasy for a few seconds, and then pull your heads down from the clouds and plant your feet on solid ground. You enjoyed your gossip with the other moms, and then you returned home, to your husband and children. To your family.

You love them, of course. Your children are your world, and your husband is a good man. He’s a good man, and that’s what made it so hard. He treats you well, keeps his words soft and never once put his hands on you. 

He may be good, but, God, was he boring. You can’t remember the last time that he’d even kissed you, let alone fucked you. He came home later and later each night, too tired from work to do anything but silently scarf down his dinner and plant himself on the couch in front of the television. He dragged himself into bed hours after you did. He tried to be quiet, he really did, but he woke you up every single night with his stomping and shuffling. When you snuggled closer to him, he pushed you off. My back hurts too bad, he’d say, voice tinged with regret. Remind me to book another appointment with the chiropractor. 

It was always some excuse or another. 

So, really, you couldn’t blame yourself for your wandering eye. You weren’t going to act on it, of course -- you weren’t a cheater -- but the young teacher was something to occupy yourself with. A pretty face to fill your thoughts as you wrangled your horde of screaming kids from swim lessons to dance practice to art classes. A pretty, pretty body to imagine as you fucked yourself with your fingers, teeth sinking into your bottom lip to muffle your moans. You couldn’t help but imagine that it was him, lithe body leaning over yours. No complaints of aching backs and sore muscles, none of the complications that came with age. 

You’d leave your husband catatonic on the couch, put the kids to sleep, and then go dream of their hot teacher. You should’ve been more ashamed, but there was a part of you that loved the thrill of it. You flushed whenever you saw Mr. Sugawara the next morning, memories of your illicit thoughts filling your mind, but it also made your body feel electric. 

Of course there was a part of you that longed to throw caution to the wind and jump the young man, but your conscience was much stronger than your weak, lustful thoughts. You were happy with the way things were now. As dull as your husband was, and as insufferable as the children could sometimes be, you were happy. 

This was all you had ever wanted. A house in the suburbs, a husband with a well-paying job, three kids and a dog. You’re living the fucking dream. You’re happy, you tell yourself.

So why the fuck are you so unsatisfied?

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

With a deep breath, you stare down the heavy glass doors at the school’s entrance. You want nothing more than to find the idiot architect who designed this building, and strangle him for installing pull doors. Your arms are already sore from carrying the giant tray of brownies from your car to the front of the school, and you worry that if you put the treats down to open the door, you wouldn’t be able to lift them up again. A quick glance at your watch tells you that you have two minutes left to reach the gym where the bake sale is being held. The PTA president is notorious for hating latecomers, and you weren’t in the mood to get your head bit off.

You’re debating doing some gymnastics and using your foot to grab the handle, when you notice footsteps approaching from behind you. You open your mouth to ask for help, but they beat you to it. “Let me get the door,” says their syrupy, melodic voice.

Their familiar voice.

Your body practically freezes as a strong arm reaches over your shoulder. Long fingers – fingers that you’ve fantasized about too many times to count – twist the handle and push it open easily. You don’t know how you didn’t notice him approaching sooner, but now that he’s here, your senses are in overdrive. The sweet scent of his cologne, the sound of his breath, the warmth of his body – it’s all too much, and it makes your knees feel weak.

“Mr. Sugawara,” you say, voice coming out much breathier than you intended. This must be some kind of Pavlovian response from all your fantasizing, because there is no reason for your stomach to be twisting right now. “Thank you.”

He grins sheepishly and steps away, and you hate the way that your body screams at you to lean into him. “It’s no problem. Is that for the bake sale? Here, let me carry it for you.”

You try to protest, but there’s really no point. His long fingers are already pushing yours to the sides, and you swear you’ve been electrified as he pulls the tray out of your hands. It’s a shame, really, that he’s wearing a button-down. The sleeves are rolled up to his forearms, at least, but you would’ve loved to see his biceps flex as he carried that tray…

What am I doing? You dig your nails into your palm to snap yourself out of your thoughts, but it’s hard to stay lucid when he’s so beautiful. He carries the brownies with ease, using just one arm to support their weight as the other holds the door open for you. It should make you upset, that you’re so weak in comparison to him, but the thought just makes you feel even more breathless. He’s so strong, so young, and so unlike your husband.

“Thank you,” you say again as he steps into the building behind you. You reach for the tray, but he waves you off.

“Nonsense. I’ll walk you to the gym.”

“Oh, really, you don’t have to—”

“I insist. Anything for my favorite mom.”

His…favorite? His words leave you too stupefied to protest any further, and he takes your silence as compliance. Your body automatically follows in his footsteps as he paces down the hallways.

He looks over at you and smiles comfortingly. It lights up his entire face, but does little to ease your turbulent thoughts.

Your mind is still fixated on his words as you step onto the squeaky wood flooring of the gymnasium. Sugawara calmly walks over to the PTA president, who looks like she’s about to rip her hair out. She’s surrounded by a gaggle of other moms, all jabbering away with concern painted across their faces.

“Is something wrong, ladies?” he asks. His voice snaps them all out of their conversation, and their eyes widen as they take him in.

“Yes,” says the PTA president scornfully. “We were supposed to have the brownies here already! The sale starts in ten minutes, and if this keeps up, I won’t have enough time to inventory everything and make it presentable, and –”

“I have the brownies,” you cut in, resisting the urge to roll your eyes.

She blanches, and looks from you to the tray in Sugawara’s arms. An oh is all she can muster before grabbing the brownies and rushing off.

“Is everything okay?” one of the other moms asks, her voice laced with fake sweetness. “Oh, and you look so tired, dear. If you couldn’t manage your part, you should’ve just said so!”

“It would’ve been no trouble,” another woman says. “I’d have had no trouble whipping up a tray for you! Everyone always does love my baking.”

You grit your teeth and resist the urge to snap at them. It’s always like this – the other moms seem so in tune with their lives of domestic bliss, playing games of politics and constantly competing to be the best. Try as you might, you just can’t satisfy yourself with a life like theirs.

The material of Sugawara’s shirt brushes against you, and you start. He doesn’t pull away as you flinch, instead gently resting his hand on the small of your back. “Sorry to interrupt, but can I steal her away? Mrs. (L/N), I have your son’s science fair project sitting in my classroom. He keeps forgetting to bring it home. Would you like to go collect it now?”

You nod, relieved at the excuse to escape these women and their sickening artificial sweetness. Sugawara gently guides you with the hand on your back. You can’t help but internally smirk at the thinly-veiled jealousy on the faces of the other mothers.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.  

“This is why you’re my favorite,” Sugawara says, once you’re safely out of earshot. “All these PTA moms are so fake. But you’re not like that, are you?”

You nod, still a bit convinced that this is all a dream. He doesn’t remove his hand from your back as you walk down the hallways, and only pulls away when you reach the door to his classroom. He fishes through his pocket and pulls out a ring of keys, before insert one into the knob and pushing the door open. He gestures for you to enter first, and so you do, blinking at the harsh sudden brightness of the automatic lights.

You awkwardly glance around the room. You’ve been here plenty of times before, but that was all during the daytime, when it was packed full of energetic children. It feels…strange, to be alone in a classroom as an adult. Or, well, alone, except for the stupidly attractive teacher that you’ve been lusting over.

“Where’s the project?” you ask, trying to diffuse some of the tension building in your stomach. “I should head home soon.”

Sugawara leans his back against the door and cocks his head. “You know, I know what you say about me.”

“What?”

“Don’t play dumb.” His eyes rove across your body, lingering on your chest for far longer than they should. “I’m not deaf, you know. I hear all the things you say about me. You’re just like all the other moms.” He pushes off the door, stalking closer to you. You instinctively take a step back. “Only difference is, you might actually have the guts to do something about it.”

Your heart thuds in your chest, so hard that you think your ribs might bruise. “I…I don’t know what you’re talking about, Mr. Sugawara. I-”

You take another step back, and another, and suddenly your back collides with concrete. Your body jolts, and you yelp at the sudden pain.

Sugawara leans closer. One of his hands braces against the board behind your head, and the other one comes up to cradle your face. His long fingers hook under your chin and press, forcing you to tilt your head up and meet his gaze. His thumb brushes against your lip, and you can’t deny how the sensation makes your body feel like jelly.

Every rational thought in your mind is screaming at you to run, to leave, to get away from him and go back to your husband, but God, it’s been so long since you’ve felt like this. It’s been so long since someone’s made your heart race and your breaths quicken, since someone’s made you blush like a schoolgirl over a simple touch.

“What was that you said?” he asks, his voice dripping with honey. “You don’t know what I’m talking about?”

You swallow and bite the inside of your cheek. The pain does nothing to clear the fog inside your mind. “I-I don’t, I-”

“You do,” he interrupts, his thumb still toying with your lip. “You’re so fucking obvious. I bet you’re wet already, aren’t you?”

“Mr. Sugawara!” His lewd words make you gasp, but more than anything, you hate the fact that he’s right. Your body has a mind of its own, and it wants nothing more than to wrap your lips around his thumb and pull him closer. It wants to feel his arms wrapped around you, feel his body towering over you.

But you can’t. As much as you want to, you can’t, because you have a husband at home who’s waiting for you. Sure, he isn’t home right now, because he’s putting in extra hours at the office. And sure, he hasn’t touched you or made you feel desired in weeks. Hell, you haven’t had a genuine conversation in weeks. But he’s still your husband! You try and remind yourself of that. You roll the thought around in your head, hoping that it’ll push your thoughts of Sugawara away.

But the young teacher is persistent, and there’s a glimmer in his eye that makes your chest tighten. “Call me Koushi, princess.”

“Don’t call me princess –”

“What, you’re going to pretend that it didn’t make you wetter? Going to pretend that you aren’t clenching your thighs together right now?” He leans in even closer, so that his breath brushes against your ear as he whispers. “Your body doesn’t lie, baby.”

A whine slips past your lips at his words, and then you gasp, mortified with yourself. But the grin that covers his face makes your transgression worth it, because God, he’s handsome. His hand squeezes your chin even tighter, and then trails down to your neck. Your breath catches in your chest. You’re hyperaware of his every movement, of his fingers trailing across your skin, his touch feather-light. It leaves you aching for more.

You instinctively whine again, and he lets out a noise of surprised delight. “Whining like this, and you’re still denying that you want me? What’s got you so embarrassed?”

“I have a husband,” you hiss – or, at least, you try to hiss. It comes out more like a whimper than anything else.

Sugawara looks at you for a beat – and then throws his head back and laughs. It catches you off guard, and you furrow your brow. “Why the fuck are you laughing?”

He collects himself, but his eyes are still gleaming when he looks back at you. “Sure, you have a husband. But that doesn’t stop you from thinking about me, does it? Tell me, when’s the last time that your husband took care of you? When’s the last time that he touched you, or fucked you, or made you feel good?”

“Mr. Sugawara, this is inappropriate–”

“Stop lying to yourself.” His voice suddenly drops, his stare forceful and deadly serious. “Say the word, and I’ll go. We can pretend this never happened. But anyone with eyes can tell that you’re unsatisfied.”

“I…I don’t…” Your thoughts feel like a wave, building higher and higher. They bounce around your head, reverberating against your skull, so loud that you can’t even think.

“Why are you settling?”

“Mr. Sugawara, please, I–”

“Why are you settling, when you know you want more?”

The wave crests.

You don’t know who moves first, but somehow, your fingers are tangled in his hair, and his lips are slotted against yours. It’s not soft, or sweet – it’s a mess of teeth and tongues and feverish breaths. His hands are everywhere. They trail over your skin, explore the curves of your chest and your stomach, grip tightly at your waist to pull you closer.

“Mr. Sugawara,” you pant against his lips. Your lungs scream for oxygen, but you can’t bear to drag yourself away from him for even a second. He kisses so well. It may be rushed, and messy, but there’s so much hunger behind his actions that it makes your head spin. It’s like his lips are a live wire, and every second that they touch yours, they send a thousand volts of electricity arcing through your body.

“Koushi,” he breathes. “Call me Koushi, please.” You nod, and then hurriedly undo the buttons of his shirt, popping a few off in the process. Neither of you care. His hands finally dip beneath the hem of your dress, and he wastes no time in unceremoniously tugging it off your body.

Your hands instinctively go to cover yourself. Age and childbirth have changed your body, and you know that Mr. Sugawara – no, Koushi – is probably used to beautiful young women. You still don’t understand why his eye landed on you. He surely has dozens of girls his age fawning over him, with flat stomachs and perky tits. Why you?

He grips your wrists and pries your hands away from your body. “Don’t do that,” he says, so gentle in contrast to the fire from just moments ago. “Don’t cover yourself up. You’re beautiful.”

Oh.

You can’t remember the last time that someone called you beautiful. You can’t remember the last time that you felt beautiful.

But right now, with Koushi staring at you, eyes blown out with lust… you feel it.

He sinks onto his knees, lips already pressing little kisses against your hips and upper thighs. You try and protest – really, Koushi, you don’t have to – but he shushes you instantly. He hooks one of your thighs over his shoulder and dives in without hesitation. Even through the fabric of your panties, you’re in fucking heaven. His tongue laves against your clit, focusing so much attention onto the swollen bead that you can’t help but let out a moan.

You slap your hand over your mouth to silence yourself. You’re in an elementary school, for God’s sake. The bake sale is at the other side of the large building, but you’re terrified of someone walking past and catching you. Guilt swirls around your heart, but it’s quick to dissipate when Koushi tugs your panties off and throws them over his shoulder. He buries himself into your cunt again, and it’s even better without the barrier. The coil in your stomach is tightening embarrassingly fast, but you can’t seem to find it in yourself to care. His tongue laps at your folds, slurping lewdly.

The pleasure is overwhelming. Your body moves of its own accord. Your hips grind against Koushi’s face, and he moans right into your cunt. His lips move up to your clit again, alternating between licking and sucking. You’re so focused on his mouth that you barely notice his fingers, so long and pretty, collecting your wetness.

You do notice when he fucks two of those pretty fingers into you. He immediately starts scissoring his fingers to stretch you out, before hooking them against that spot inside of you that makes your head spin. Your entire body is shaking with euphoria, so much that you can’t handle it.

“Close,” you cry out, trying to keep yourself upright. “Close, close, please, don’t stop!”

He moans into you again when you tug at his hair. It’s the push that you need to finally fall over the edge. You bite into your palm to keep from screaming as you gush all over him, chest heaving and eyes tearing up.

He keeps curling his fingers, keeps lapping at your clit, until you tug on his hair and cry that the overstimulation is too much. As he lets your leg down and stands up, he makes a show of licking your cum off his fingers, slurping on them loudly. It would make you embarrassed, but you’re too focused on his other hand as it dips down to his belt. The muscles of his stomach flex as he undoes the buckle. You take the opportunity to rake your eyes over his toned torso. He seems so slender when he’s dressed, but his shoulders are surprisingly broad.

He looks up at you with a little smirk. “Caught you staring,” he teases. You blush as he pulls his pants and boxers down in one go, freeing his cock. It’s already hard, and so pretty, just like him. His tip is red and dripping with precum. You want so badly to get a taste, but Koushi has other plans. He spins you by your shoulders, and then presses at the small of your back to make you lay across his desk.

You groan when you feel him slap his cock against your ass a few times, before running it through your folds to collect your wetness. “Please,” you gasp. “No teasing, please.”

“Just came, and you’re already needy?” he chuckles. “That husband of yours must really not be satisfying you.”

You’re spared from having to think of a retort by him sinking into you. A cry leaves your lips, but it’s too good for you to even care about the sound. He feels like heaven as he sinks into you. His cock stretches you out deliciously.

You’re already feeling delirious as he starts to shallowly thrust and work his way in. “Fuck, you’re tight,” he mutters under his breath, more to himself than to you. “So – fuck…”

You can’t do anything but moan and scratch at the table as he starts to fuck into you in earnest. His cock is perfectly curved to hit your spot every time, and soon you’re reduced to a mess underneath him. His balls slap against your ass with every thrust. It hurts, it’s all too much, but it’s so fucking good. You don’t think you’ve ever felt pleasure like this – mind numbing and all consuming, so powerful that it makes your eyes roll back.

“Fuck,” he groans again, bending down so that he can loom over you and leave little bites all over your back and shoulders. “Not gonna last if you keep squeezing me like that, shit!”

“Faster, please,” you beg, and he obliges. He sets an absolutely brutal pace, somehow managing to fuck you hard, fast, and at the perfect angle all at once. Moans and cries spill freely out of your open mouth. When he reaches forward to toy with your clit, it’s all too much, and it sends you over the edge again. Your body practically spasms as he fucks you through your second orgasm. He shows you no mercy, gives you no time to come down. You don’t know if you’re coming again, or if you just never stopped. Your mind is hazy with pleasure and overstimulation.

You’re a twitching mess by the time that he pulls out, but you still whine at the loss. You’re far too fucked out to turn around and look at him, but in the corner of your consciousness, you can hear him panting and stroking himself furiously. His moans are so beautiful. Within a few short seconds, he’s coming all over your ass, painting your pretty skin white with his seed.

You don’t know how long you’re laying there before he taps your cheek to get your attention. “C’mon now,” he says, a tired smile on his face. “Let’s get you cleaned up. We wouldn’t want your husband finding out, would we?”

[ayuki-ikuya]

Dorms and Archons

Twisted Wonderland x Genshin Impact

Part 2 of 2

Part 1

Dendro Archon

The Recluse Scholar

𝓚𝓪𝓵𝓲𝓶 𝓐𝓵-𝓐𝓼𝓲𝓶

Kalim was excited to have a new friend! Oh the parties they'd have! The fun! The food!

When he met you, you were... distant. Did he do something wrong? Did he upset you?

He really did try to find out what he did wrong, and often sent you invitations (Malleus eyeing the invitations) you some of the parties he makes, but you don't show up nor reply, making him sadden.

Jamil low key face palming

During a normal sunny day at school, he and Jamil headed to the library to grab some books, and during the process, he found you, tucked in a corner with mountains, upon mountains of books around you, and you? You were reading.

"Ah? S/o??"

"HEEEEK!!!!"

he startled you so badly that plants from outside grew. which of course caused a commotion.

Kalim apologised for startling you, but he asked a question about your attendance, your reply was to fiddle with your sleeves before answering with a small voice that you were afraid of people despite being a deity.

Kalim immedietly thought of Idia, but he crossed the line of no return, but Kalim smiled warmly, held your hand, making you choke, and said a more softer voice that he'd throw a smaller party, just the three of them. (Don't tell me you forgot Jamil, HE MAKES THE DANG FOOD)

You accepted.

Several parties later, you two were unsurprisingly in love with each other that the students of NRC were rolling their eyes at the moments the two shared. COULD YOU TWO DATE ALREADY!?!?

When you two started dating, Kalim made a celebration, but kept you in a more secluded section, that way you could be apart of it, but not near a large crowd of people. And you were thankful for it.

As a couple, Kalim practically adores you. And he's super affectionate too! Jalim is glad to have someone more tameable and it also makes it easier to locate Kalim if he ever goes off by himself.

𝓙𝓪𝓶𝓲𝓵 𝓥𝓲𝓹𝓮𝓻

He thought nothing of you at first.

Until you had full scores on everything.

He had requested you to help with Scarabia's studying, in offer of full meals, which you complied with due to living in a run down dorm and doesn't have a lot of money to support themselves with.

However, the study group went wrong due to the amount of people.

Jamil then figured that you didn't work too well with large numbers of people, and he found that you were slightly dependent on him when it comes to speaking.

He ended up planning smaller groups, working on those who had the worst grades then up.

And thanks to you, their dorm gradually got better.

Jamil spent time with you whenever he was free from following Kalim, and he was fairly fond of you.

You were soft, very soft, but highly reliable in terms of knowledge. So he'd often vent to you which is surprising.

But your presence and advice helped him grow better.

Jamil fell for you when he found you smiling at a Scarabia student showing you their improved grade, you looked like a warm hearted maternal parent, and his heart skipped at the sight.

When you two began dating, it was a bit rocky due to Jamil's family duty to serve the Al-Asim family. But Kalim was very kind to allow Jamil more free time, in exchange that he brings you over for more study parties!

You figured since Kalim wasn't fond of studying and more for partying, that you'd make a study party which improved Kalim's grade by ten folds. Jalim practically wept tears that the seven sent him this angel.

Geo Archon

The Consultant

𝓐𝔃𝓾𝓵 𝓐𝓼𝓱𝓮𝓷𝓰𝓻𝓸𝓽𝓽𝓸

Azul was greedy for the power you possibly possess. and your money.

Azul underestimated you since he witnessed your lack of brains in terms of money. You forget about having your wallet on you, and whenever someone offers to pay for you, you attempt to buy everything without a single thought.

This was going to be an easy contract, Azul thought. They're an idiot, Azul thought. They can't complete this contract, Azul thought.

"I've completed my end of the contract. Now you must do yours."

"Huh? Nani?"

Azul was stupefied by this, he whipped his head towards the Leech twins, both begrudgingly nodding their heads in confirmation at the archon completing their conditions of the contract.

Azul had tried to change the details of the contract, you of course allowed it the first time.

But when you returned with the conditions once again completed, Azul tried to add more.

However, you weren't having it.

You stood up and leaned down to Azul, towering over him. A sudden pressure weighed the three mercreatures, it was heavy and foreboding. Your eyes glowed a gold with the amber ombre in your hair glowing gold as well.

"I was lenient to allow you the first time. Either fulfill your end of the deal or break the contract. But if you break the contract, you will suffer the wrath of the rock."

Azul was terrified.

When Azul fell for you, he questioned himself. How in the seven did he fall for a person like YOU!? He will never remember how, but all he knows is that he's in waaay to deep.

When you two became a couple, you were far more charasmatic and charming than before, it was like it was turned up a notch. Or two. or more...

The contract loving couple have been making more money than ever thanks to the Geo Archon, the avatar of contracts. It's either fill the conditions or suffer the wrath of the rock. Or just, don't make a contract. Simple.

But then we got the one brain cell trio doing their dumb sh**.

𝓙𝓪𝓭𝓮 𝓛𝓮𝓮𝓬𝓱

Oya?

What an intriguing being.

Jade was the first to be interested in you. But he couldn't exactly find you that well since you practically mixed with the crowd a little too well than he'd like. [Bro, Zhongli and Venti has statues of themselves around Liyue and Mondstaft, AND NO ONE MANAGES TO THINK "hmmm.. You know, he looks like one that statue there.. Wait a minute-" LIKE, SRSLY!!! Venti is more obvious, I can understand Zhongli since he wears more funeral consultant clothing, but he still somehow blends in with the crowd. Unlike a Lil wind spirit.]

But when the moment came where you made a contract, Jade was more than happy to hinder you, only for you to complete the conditions before he could figure out your plan.

"... What?"

["OSMANTHUS WI-"]

After that fiasco with you giving a very large heavy warning, Jade was by your side whenever he wasn't with Floyd, questioning your knowledge, in which you were more than happy enough to comply.

Jade fell for you when you showed how competent you were unlike the other miserable guppies in school. Sure you had a few problems, but nothing with a little Jade there and everything is perfect. He also favored your knowledge, specially about fungi.

When you two became a couple, it was.. Strange to say, a air headed but scary consultant with a sadistically calm eelman? That's ringing bells for everyone.

𝓕𝓵𝓸𝔂𝓭𝓮 𝓛𝓮𝓮𝓬𝓱

Floyd had zero, zip, non, 100% no interest in you. Why? You looks, sound and seem boring. And he stand corrected.

it was later when you completed the conditions, which, not gonna lie, spooked Floyd.

"Hah?"

Later, he began to go after you like he did with Goldfish (Riddle), and when he tried to squeeze you, he found himself squeezing a shield instead.

He found himself utterly thrilled and had did several attempts at you, which failed.

His interest in you and your abilities heightened.

Then your relationship bloomed.

It was hard to say if it was romantic or platonic, but either way, Floyd was perfectly happy. Happy to have a partner who continues to show things or tell him things about their world.

As long as Floyd kept out of trouble and/or content, Jade and Azul didn't say question their relationship.

Pyro Archon

The Warlord

𝓛𝓮𝓸𝓷𝓪 𝓚𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼𝓬𝓱𝓸𝓵𝓪𝓻

Who are you? What are you? Why are you here? What are you doing? Get out.

Leona didn't care for you, not one single bit. Until you messed with his sleep schedule due to your chaoticness.

Whenever your around, you just bring trouble with you. And he doesn't like it one bit.

And when you bring trouble, you bring noise.

Which officially ruins his nap times.

However, Leona praises and respects your prowess in battle. You always gave it your all, which he liked. You weren't holding back, which allowed him to gauge how powerful you were as a deity with or without your element.

As it turns out, you're stronger than what you make yourself out to be, but what catches Leona's attention the most, was how calculating you were. It was as if you were analyzing him

To be honest, he felt violated.

At most times, you're energetic, but when your quiet or serious, it's either pack your sh** and leave or get out of their way.

Because when your either if those, you will either send someone to the nurse with severe casualties or some of the schools property will be destroyed. And of course, there is a justified reason for this.

Other than to make Crowley very upset of course.

Leona fell for you with your strength. He loves a woman who can lead and he could just relax. Unless it comes to some other type of leadership, like in the bedroom, then that will change. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

These two are dangerous as a couple when Leona's awake and active. And when Leona's on the move, expect a gremlin to be tailing after him, and be sure to clear out of their way. Mercy didn't in their vocabulary.

𝓡𝓾𝓰𝓰𝓲𝓮 𝓑𝓾𝓬𝓬𝓱𝓲

Huh? Do I know you? No? Goodbye.

Ruggie, quite literally, didn't give a rats ass about you.

To him, you were like any other beast man, rowdy and rough, other than your form that is.

But thankfully, you knew how to take care of yourself. Less work for Ruggie. I guess.

Not only that you knew how to cook. That was a god sent gift to Ruggie. Sadly though, you only know how to make mostly meat dishes. If it contains vegetables, expect the veggies to be over seasoned.

Leona was scared when he saw you in the kitchen, only to calm down seeing you being calm and not rowdy.

Ruggie fell for your cooking. He is literally the term "To get to a mans heart, you go through their stomach". although you should work on cooking vegetables better for a more healthier lifestyle.

𝓙𝓪𝓬𝓴 𝓗𝓸𝔀𝓵

Strong? Strong.

You two are 100% besties.

You two are glued to the hip whenever you guys are free or share classes.

You both like to exercise and spar, so you two mostly go for each other.

To say the least, Jack mostly saw you as a sibling. Sorry, no romance.

Jack often scolds you for not eating more vegetables.

Which makes you pout and huff.

Cute lil tyke - Leona

Hydro Archon

The Judge

𝓡𝓲𝓭𝓭𝓵𝓮 𝓡𝓸𝓼𝓮𝓱𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓽𝓼

Nice, another rule setter like me. We're gonna be great friends.

"Explain why two cubes of sugar should be in a lemon tea? It's blasphemy."

I see you have chosen violence 😌

Riddle at first liked you, until you learned about the rules of the Queen of Hearts, did he start to hate you.

"BE QUIET OR IT'S OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!"

He loathed you.

He thought that since your a judge, you'd understand the rules, much like him. But no, you judged the rules as well, evaluating if they are fair or not.

Whenever you call out on the rules that appeared ridiculously stupid to have (like the two sugar cubes in lemon tea. That's bs to you.)

After the overblot, you were more nicer when he changed.

He stand corrected.

But he didn't mind it, he low key enjoyed arguing with you, without him screaming at you of course.

You two as a couple sends fear in everyone. A judge and a tyrant? That's a deadly combo.

𝓣𝓻𝓮𝔂 𝓒𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮𝓻

Trey had taken a liking to you, seeing how similar you are to Riddle.

He enjoyed answering your questions about rules, but if there were rules he can't remember, he'd look at them with you to not only answer your question, but to commit them to memory in case.

What he's scared of is when you give trials regarding about incidents. Riddle would present his case then the 'innocent' or innocent would present theirs.

If the person is guilty, you ensure punishment, because like Riddle, you detest rule breakers unless in reason. You didn't mind them bending the rules as long as it doesn't break.

Trey is envious of your abilities, but you reassure him the his Doodle Suit is superior if you can use it against others magic.

You often praised him as well.

You admitted to thinking about a scenario of if Trey was born in Tevyat, he'd receive a hydro vision.

He flushed in response, secretly happy to have caught your attention.

You two as a couple puts everyone, minus Riddle because it's you, at ease.

𝓒𝓪𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝓓𝓲𝓪𝓶𝓸𝓷𝓭

#ohmyseveniminlove #calltheambulance #loveatfirstsight #goddescendingfromheaven #pinchme #PLSNOTICEMEANDLOVEME #foryoupage

He practically fell for you.

To him, you were perfect.

"You have flaws? I only see perfection!"

He's a smooth talker, albeit feminine due to having a lot of sisters, but smooth nonetheless.

He's a simp for you, willing to use his unique magic to do anything and everything for you.

Literally fell at first sight of you.

As a couple, Cater often takes couple photos with you, at first you were content with the pictures, but at this point they kinda peeved her when he takes pictures on every occasion.

"Smiiiile~"

"Cater, I love you, but please, stop."

"If you give me a kiss I might~"

𝓓𝓮𝓾𝓬𝓮 𝓢𝓹𝓪𝓭𝓮

You're his role model.

Literally the Geno to your Saitama.

He carries a notebook with him to take notes on you since he strives to be like you. A model being.

Even if he looks smart, he still has a split braincell between Ace and Grim.

Don't hold it against him if he's trying to know almost EVERYTHING about you.

More platonic than romantic.

𝓐𝓬𝓮 𝓣𝓻𝓪𝓹𝓹𝓸𝓵𝓪

Complete opposites.

And completely disliked each other.

You rubbed him the wrong way, maybe it was because you were more justified than him, better at things than he was.

He didn't know what, it was just you being better than him. He understands he's not smart, because he foes dumb sh** with the other two.

But whenever you have to deal with their messes on their own, he feels irritated.

He often tries to get after you as well.

"Oh wow, such a god you are. Pathetic."

*cue angry archon noises with an 8 feet tall wave behind them, ready to flood Ace's ass.*

Yeah, your relationship is very... Rocky and slightly concerning.

Here's part 2! I'm happy that you read this! I will have a link to the first part after connecting the links to certain parts. Feel free to request or refer to the main master list pinned on my blog if you wish to see other choices to make! Happy reading!

[spookiekewchie]

Prove a Point

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

Characters: Ransom Drysdale x black!reader

Summary: What happens when Ransom's words aren't taken seriously? He makes sure to prove his point to you, and the poor idiot that you had the nerve to go on a date with.

Read THE INTERN

Word Count: 4.6k+

Warnings: Ransom is bit dark and possessive in this one, kidnapping, potentially dubcon, forced cuckolding, oral (m receiving), drooling, fingering (blink and you miss it), Ransom's filthy mouth, unprotected sex (p in v), use of a knife, threats (not against reader), nicknames (sweetheart, ransom get's called daddy once), sir kink

A/N:  It's DAY FIVE OF KINKTOBER and I really wanted to revisit these two, the idea I had in mind really lent itself to some cuckolding sooooo here we are. This could be considered dark so pay attention to the warnings, and know that you are responsible for your own media consumption. Anyways, all mistakes are mine so pardon any errors or typos I'm sure I missed a few. The divider is by @firefly-graphics

DO NOT repost or translate my work anywhere. Reblogs are always welcome, and let me know that you enjoy my fics.

You’d done what you promised yourself, you’d gone on your date that Ransom had made you miss. You’d had to take a sick day just to avoid the man, but in your mind it was worth it to not only inconvenience him but also do the exact opposite of what you knew he wanted from you. The only problem was that your date wasn’t going as great as you thought it should have been. For one Bryce looked a little too similar to Ransom for you to truly appreciate his good looks, and then there was the background. A rich grandfather, and a ridiculous inheritance that he was set to get when the old man died. God you could have rolled your eyes at how you just had to end up with the one man that not only resembled Ransom but also came from money and had a silver spoon shoved up his ass.

And just when you thought it couldn’t get any more insufferable a shadow fell over your table. You looked up, and there stood Linda Drysdale with a smirk on her face and looking like the cat that caught the canary. “Oh dear, I stopped by the office today and Ransom told me you’d called out sick. Maybe he was mistaken, because you certainly don’t look sick.” She looked over to Bryce then, a look of recognition on her features and a somewhat sour expression flitting over them. “Bryce.” It was a clipped greeting, and he didn’t seem too pleased to see her either. Whatever beef there was between them though you were determined to stay out of it, so when Linda finally turned on her heel to leave you didn’t question it. You did mentally kick yourself when you saw her fishing her phone out of her purse on her way out the door though.

She was probably going to call Ransom and tattle on you in hopes that he’d fire you. The woman never did like you, something about how much Harlan liked you, and enjoyed your company had her feeling threatened. The woman acted like you were trying to steal her father, you rolled your eyes at the thought and forced yourself to at least try to enjoy the rest of your date with Bryce.

Bryce who looked like a slightly younger, slimmer, and less experienced version of Ransom.

It was going to be a long night, and suddenly you were ready for it to be over.

Two hours later you were standing awkwardly at your car, attempting to bid Bryce a good night when you caught sight of a panel van pulling up, the door sliding open, and two men in all black rushing the pair of you. You didn’t have time to react before someone was hitting Bryce over the head to knock him out before grabbing you up so that they could throw both of you into the back of the van. You put up a fight until they wrangle you and tie your wrists and ankles, then came the blindfold and you had no choice but to sit still and hope that you’d be okay. Selfishly you didn’t care much what happened to Bryce, for all you knew he was the target and you were just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

It felt like an hour went by before the van came to stop, and you could hear Bryce groaning softly as he began to stir. You were carried inside of a building, walked up some steps, and sat on something soft, it almost felt like a bed and that gave you another reason to worry, you could hear Bryce nearby and had to assume that he was left in the room with you. Time ticked by slowly, and you tried to keep up with the minutes but fear was gripping you too tightly to focus. “What the fuck is going on?” You questioned to no one in particular.

“I don’t fucking know.” That was Bryce speaking and your head turned in the direction his voice was strongest in. “Hey are you okay? They didn’t hurt you did they?” He questioned, and it sounded like he was struggling with something.

“Of course they didn’t fucking hurt her, you were the only one they were allowed to rough up.” It sounded like someone new had entered the room. Bryce cursed under his breath, suddenly spitting insults as if he knew who was holding the two of you captive. It took you a second, but you realized that you knew this man’s voice and you scoffed, suddenly very confused and very annoyed.

“Ransom?” It couldn’t be, why the hell would he have you and Bryce snatched off the street like that, and why would he...oh wait. “Ransom you untie me right now!” You demanded, and you could hear the huff of his laughter and the shuffle of his steps as he neared you. Something cold and metal slid between your bound wrists and the sound of rope being cut filled your ears before you were able to move your hands. The first thing you did was rip the blindfold away, and then next was to untie your ankles in a rush. “What the fuck is going-” You shut up when he whirled around, a knife in hand and a glare on his pretty face.

“I thought I made it clear that you were mine, and that you weren’t going on any dates with this idiot.”

Your mouth went dry, was he serious? You’d honestly thought he was just talking shit that night in his office, but clearly you had misjudged just how serious Ransom had been. “Excuse me?” You snapped, flinching back when you heard the bitter laughter that rushed out of Ransom. “Ransom you can’t be serious, this is ridiculous. Just...just let us go, and we can all pretend that you didn’t have us kidnapped just so you could go on an ego trip and prove a point.” Even in the face of danger you couldn’t resist snapping at Ransom, and for the briefest of moments you saw amusement flashing in those brilliant blue eyes of his before they darkened.

“You really want to test me right now? I told you that you were mine, and I fucking meant it. You think I won’t slit this prick’s throat right here to show you how serious I am?” Ransom moved to stand close enough to Bryce’s bound form that all it would take was a slash of his wrist and Bryce would be no more. Eyes wide you jumped up from the bed, taking a tentative step towards an angry Ransom who was focused entirely on Bryce who looked a mixture of fearful and pissed off.

“Ransom…” Nothing. “Ransom, please.” Still nothing. You huffed, worry coursing through you that if you didn’t shift the brunets focus soon you’d have to be witness to a murder. Something you really didn’t feel like dealing with. Swallowing your pride you tried again, this time with a different name. “Hugh.”

That got his attention, Ransom’s head whipping towards you with a curious interest shining in his eyes. “You’re right, I shouldn’t be testing you right now.” He narrowed his eyes as you spoke, letting you step in close enough that he could smell the scent of your perfume clinging to your skin. “And I shouldn’t have gone on that date with him.” You conceded, watching as Ransom took a step away from Bryce and put himself more in your space.

“No, you shouldn’t have.”

“It was a waste of time, I realized that fifteen minutes in. All night long I was just sitting there comparing him to you, and thinking how I should have left the second I laid eyes on him. I was never going to fuck him, I already knew he’d just disappoint me.” You admitted, ignoring your own frustration at the fact that it was true and not something you had ever intended on telling Ransom. But it seemed to work, because Bryce was getting offended and the more upset Bryce got at your words the more Ransom preened knowing that in your eyes the younger trust fund prick just couldn’t compare.

“Put the knife down, and I’ll show you just how sorry I am for not listening to you.” Your fingers dropped to his hips, fingers slowly working to undo his pants while you leaned in to whisper against his lips. “And then you can show him why he can’t ever compare with you.” Predictably, Ransom let the knife fall to the ground so that he could grab you by the hips and yank you into his body. His lips claimed yours in a messy, possessive kiss that has Bryce angrily cursing at the two of you as he tried to free himself from the chair that Ransom had him bound to. It only got worse when your hand slipped down the front of Ransom’s undone pants to stroke him until he was hardening in your grip.

Ransom broke the kiss, chest heaving just slightly and his pupils blown wide with lust as he looked down at you with a wicked smirk curling onto his plush lips. “On your knees, sweetheart.” He ordered, tone soft and almost sweet in contrast to just how tightly and possessively he was holding onto you. You made to move but a strong hand caught your chin and forced your gaze back onto Ransom’s. “What do you say?”

It took you more strength than you knew you had to swallow your pride down even more and fix your mouth to say the words that you knew Ransom wanted to hear. “Yes, sir.” You bit out, dropping to your knees once he let go of your chin.

“Pay attention Bryce. Maybe you’ll learn something.” Ransom taunted, hissing out a breath a moment later when he felt your tongue dragging along the underside of his length. The brunet towering over you let his gaze drink you in as he finally got to experience what wonder’s your mouth could do other than cursing him out, and telling him every little thing he did to irritate you. Ransom found that he much preferred your mouth full of his cock, the feeling of you sucking shallowly at his tip already making him want to rock his hips forward to make you take more of him. He held off for now, letting you use a hand to stroke his cock while you reared back just enough to spit on it. The mixture of your saliva and his precum was spread over him by your hand while you took him back into your mouth, big brown eyes peering up to meet Ransom’s pretty blues when you moaned around him. For the moment Bryce was an afterthought, but you remained vaguely aware of his presence because of the angered struggling and the spitting of insults.

You weren’t sure what was angering the trust fund baby more, your words, Ransom’s taunting, or the fact the pair of you were ignoring him while making him watch the lewd scene. Honestly he should be thanking you, obviously Ransom had been ready to slit his throat just to remove him from the equation all together. It was your quick thinking that spared him. Internally you rolled your eyes, men were always so ungrateful. Either way, if Bryce were going to sit there and spit venom at you, then you’d just have to let him get a good look at what he’d never get to experience for himself.

You took more Ransom into your mouth, Your hand slipping from his shaft to cup his sack so that your fingers could tease and massage him. The strained curse that came out of his mouth would have made you smirk if yours were so full. Letting it serve as motivation you let your head bob further down, tongue flattening against the underside of his cock to make more room for him in your mouth.

“Damn, sweetheart. You’re doing so good that poor Bryce over there’s getting hard.” Ransom’s eyes left yours to land on Bryce, the smirk on the older brunet’s lips was nothing short of cruel as Bryce demanded to be untied. Ransom let him stay right where he was, reaching down to tangle his fingers in your dark curls. He bucked his hips against your mouth, making you gag in protest when you felt him threatening to breach your throat. You attempted to pull back, but Ransom’s grip on your hair loosened so he could instead press a large hand against the back of your head. He fucked into your mouth then, making you gag and drool around his length as he used your mouth as he pleased. You wanted to hate it, the whole situation was fucked and you knew that, but you could feel the way your pussy ached to be filled by him again. The fact that you could feel Bryce’s heated glare on you the whole while only made your clit throb, and you desperately wanted to slip your fingers under your dress to do something about it. Your fingers drifted between your legs, but the moment Ransom saw that he dragged you off of his cock with a hard pull on your curls. “No you don’t, you don’t touch my sweet little cunt unless I say so.”

You wanted to protest, but before your mouth could fire off some scathing comment he had it full again. Growling around him only served to give him more pleasure, and you just found yourself more frustrated. Your hands moved to grip against the fabric of his pants, your knees dug into the soft carpet as you squirmed and tried to alleviate some of the needy ache that you felt, it didn’t help and it left you groaning in frustration around the man’s cock. An ache started to form in your jaw, and you whined, reaching up with a hand massage his sack again, this time with every intention of wanting to make him cum so you could give your jaw a rest.

Ransom didn’t let you end things so quickly though, pulling you back again so he could take a moment to admire the mess of smeared lip gloss and drool dripping from your mouth and onto the swell of your breasts. “Fuck, look at you. You’re a mess, sweetheart.” Something about the way he said it was sweet and you surprised yourself with the burst of laughter that erupted out of you when you shifted your hand from his balls to grip around his cock and stroke him. You were on autopilot now, your own lust winning out over your ego and pride. You needed that ache to be filled, and if you had to play Ransom’s game to get that then you would. Never mind the pissed off trust fund playboy currently hissing at you about how much of a slut you were.

“I want you to cum in my mouth, please.” You didn’t bother hiding the needy tone of your voice, smirking at the calming breath Ransom had to take at hearing you. Leaning forward you gave his tip a few kitten licks before wrapping your lips around him again, and then, ever so gently you let your teeth graze over him. Ransom clearly hadn’t been anticipating such a dirty little trick from you, and the sensation sent him over the edge with a drawn out moan as his spend filled your mouth while you sucked him for every drop of it.

“Shit...open your mouth, lemme see.” He ordered through panting breaths, gripping you by the jaw. You opened your mouth, letting him see his spend coating your tongue, and made no protests when he turned your head to give Bryce a nice look as well. “Swallow, sweetheart.” And you do, licking your lips a moment later with a shrug at Bryce’s look of disbelief. His anger had worn off, and now he was just stewing and trying to figure out why he hadn’t gotten this side of you. “Aww, look at him. He doesn’t know if he’s horny or angry.” Ransom was taunting him again, and Bryce’s glare was back in full force, but the obvious bulge straining against the front of his pants confirmed that Ransom was right. “Imagine how pissed he’s gonna be having to sit there and watch me fuck you.”

One second you were on your knees and the next, Ransom had hauled you up and tossed you onto the bed with little effort. He stripped you out of your clothes, tossing them this way and that before all but ripping your bra and panties in two so that he could get his hands on your bare body. Two thick digits pushed into you without warning, pumping into you and making you writhe against the expensive sheets of Ransom’s bed. You already knew that he could take you apart, but this time he could take his time and he made sure to drag out the moment and not let you cum right away. It was torture for you, but it was also torture for Bryce to watch because the longer Ransom dragged this out the longer Bryce was stuck there impossibly hard and unable to free himself.

It was exactly what Ransom wanted, and when he made you cum around on his fingers he just couldn’t help but leave the bed to stalk over to Bryce so he could smear your essence over the other male’s lips with a cruel smirk. “Enjoy it you pathetic cuck, it’s the closest you’ll ever get to my girl’s pussy.”

You probably shouldn’t have found the sight of Bryce’s tongue darting out to try and sneakily lick the taste of you from his lips, but between that and the sight of Ransom undressing at the end of the bed you were too worked up to care. Biting down on your bottom lip you took the time to openly let your gaze rake over Ransom’s naked form. Those damn sweaters really did him no justice, you thought to yourself. “Damn...I really need you inside me.” You breathed out, eyes glancing over to a silent and fuming Bryce. “C'mon, show him how well I take you.” You’d like to say you were still just playing Ransom’s game, but there was some twisted sense of pleasure in making Bryce sit there and watch what he couldn’t have.

Perhaps you and Ransom were better suited than you wanted to admit.

Ransom grinned at your words, grabbing you by the ankle to yank you closer to him so that he could crawl over you and slot himself between your spread thighs. A glance to your left let you know that Bryce would be able to see your face clearly, and you could only assume that was exactly what Ransom wanted. You were willing to bet money that, that was the reason why Ransom took his time pushing into you and drew out the moment. That first feeling of his cock stretching you around him had your back arching off the bed, and your mouth falling open with a drawn out moan as you tried to angle your hips to make him sink deeper into you. “Feels good doesn’t it,” you could only nod. “See Bryce, you never stood a fucking chance.” Ransom chuckled, hips snapping into you to draw a breathless cry out of you before he set a rhythm that easily turned you into a mess of moans and begging for more.

It didn’t take him long at all to have you feeling that coil tightening in the pit of your belly again. You nails dragged down his muscled arms, your half lidded gaze meeting his own lust blown stare. You knew he could tell you were close, the way you squeezed and fluttered around him told him everything and you thought for a moment he’d make you beg for it. Instead he slipped a hand between your sweaty slicked bodies to slide his fingers against your clit. That first touch had you seeing stars, hips bucking under him though you weren’t sure if it was an effort to get away or to get more. “God…’m so close, please Ransom.” His fingers sped up, the quick circles he drew over your throbbing bud working quickly to make that coil in your belly twist until it finally snapped and you felt the intense wave of pleasure overtaking you.

Ransom’s hips stuttered at the feeling of you clamping down around him, forcing him to rut into you harder as he dragged out the moment of your release until you weren’t sure if it was the same climax or if it had blended into the next. He smirked, watching you pant and writhe for him before he finally let his fingers fall away so he could fall forward until he was hovering close enough to press his damp forehead against yours. “Tell him who you belong to, sweetheart.” He muttered. You knew you’d told him earlier that you’d had no intention of fucking Bryce, but it was like Ransom still had a primal need to show the other man why. You could hardly complain when Ransom was fucking you that good, and giving your body exactly what it craved.

You whined, head turning to the side to let your teeth bite down against Ransom’s flexed bicep hard enough to make him snap his hips into your harder. “Fuck...you do, you daddy.” You were too cockdrunk to even realize what you’d just called him, but Ransom and Bryce both heard it.

“You hear that you fuckin’ cuck, she’s all mine.” Ransom had said, aiming a vicious smirk at Bryce as he began to rail into you hard. “Daddy huh?” He returned his attention to you, only to find you too fucked out to even really hear him. “Think I like the sound of that.” He grunted, spearing into you harder as his pace grew more frantic the closer he came to his own release.

Everything was a dull roar in your ears, body simply riding out the pleasure and bliss until Ransom reached his end and filled you with his spend. He stayed like that for a moment after, resting a fraction of his weight on top of you while his cock softened inside of you until slowly he pulled out of you. He chuckled at your whine of discontent at his cock leaving you, but then he moved you again, turning you so that Bryce could see Ransom’s cum dripping out of your used pussy. “Take a nice long look Bryce, last time you’re gonna get to see my girl’s perfect little pussy.”

You were too tired to tell Ransom to quit it, and everything after that was a blur. You vaguely remember seeing Bryce being untied and shoved out of the room by Ransom, then there was something damp and warm between your thighs wiping at your folds. You thought it was Ransom cleaning you up, but you were too tired to investigate. Soon enough you drifted off to sleep, leaving Ransom to finish doing whatever it was he was doing before he finally settled into the bed beside you.

The sound of birds chirping annoyingly outside woke you in the morning, and for a brief moment you panicked when you didn’t recognize your surroundings. Then the events of the prior night began to flood in and you could only groan and drag yourself from the bed. Searching for your purse you grabbed it up off the floor and padded into the bathroom to pull out the travel toothbrush you had packed just in case. You were midway through brushing your teeth when you noticed that your makeup had been removed, and your brow furrowed in confusion. Why the hell would Ransom bother with removing your makeup for you? You shrugged it off, telling yourself that he simply didn’t want to get makeup on his overpriced sheets. After that you grabbed a quick shower, and after you’d dried off you went rifling through the man’s closet for a sweater to throw on.

You plan had been to find the kitchen, but something glinting on the carpeted floor caught your attention. You bent down to pick it up, realizing it was the knife that Ransom had threatened Bryce with the night before. A frown fixed itself on your face when you let it settle in your hand. It wasn’t as heavy as you thought it would be, and something about it just felt off. Curious, you touched your finger to the tip a couple of times to confirm that you weren’t losing your mind. Once you were convinced you stood and made it a mission to find Ransom. If the smell of coffee and sounds coming from downstairs were anything to go by, that's where he’d be. Quietly you crept down the stairs, following the scent of coffee until you were standing at the edge of the kitchen and staring at Ransom’s bareback while he stood there pouring the dark bitter liquid into a mug. Clearing your throat you did your best to ignore the fact that he was shirtless with only a pair of low slung sweats covering him.

“I was wondering when you were going to wake the fuck up.” He greeted, making you roll your eyes as you silently moved closer to him with the knife still in hand and hidden in the too long sleeve of his sweater. You said nothing back, still frowning at him and to his credit he had the good sense to look confused for a moment. Your hand lifted, pulling the sleeve up to reveal the knife from last night, and without warning you jabbed it into Ransom’s side repeatedly. He jumped, yelping in surprise before catching your wrist and ripping the weapon away to toss onto the counter. “That tickled, don’t do that.”

“Are you fucking serious, Ransom! A fake knife?!” He didn’t look impressed with your yelling at him, in fact he just looked smug. “Was Bryce in any actual danger last night?” You hissed, jabbing him in the side with your finger until he batted your hand away and gave you a shrug.

“No, but you gotta admit it was funny watching him so angry and helpless.” Ransom answered, laughing when you threw your hands up in the air in exasperation.

“God! I can’t believe you! I did all that last night thinking I was keeping you from stabbing him and the whole time it was a fake knife. You’re an ass, Ransom. I fucking hate you.” You didn’t hate him, unfortunately. But you were pissed and he wasn’t making it any better by standing there looking completely unbothered and absolutely confident that what you were saying was bullshit.

“Funny, just last night you were saying you were mine, and calling me daddy.” He pointed out, and your eyes went wide before you quickly grabbed up the fake knife again and jabbed him with it. You let it clatter against the counter top again.

“Well I didn’t mean it, it was said under duress because you’re a fucking psychopath.” You spat, and almost immediately you could feel the shift in energy in the kitchen. Ransom’s bright blue eyes had darkened, and his body had gone tense as he crowded you back against the counter to cage you in with strong arms.

“Careful, sweetheart." His hand gripped you hard by the jaw and his gaze locked on yours. "Unless you want daddy to spend the rest of the morning taking you apart and reminding you that you are very much mine.”

[imagining-in-the-margins]

The Birds & The Bees (S.R. | Pt. 4)

Summary: Reader has a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day, which her Professor is hellbent on making a little bit better. A/N: If y’all thought you hated Kyle (bathroom bitch boy), just wait until you meet the new antagonist (of the female variety) here... I hope you all enjoy! 😚 Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader Category: Slow Burn (NSFW, 18+) Content Warning: Sexual themes/fantasies Word Count: 6.3k

MASTERLIST | Series Masterlist

——————————————————

Einstein once attributed his genius to his childlike sense of humor. Studies performed since then have largely proven his point — funny people tend to have higher IQs, which makes sense when you consider the cognitive and emotional intelligence required to produce humor.

Spencer Reid was no exception. The only problem was that his humor was so remarkably niche and impossibly specific that barely anyone could understand the punchline. He insisted to me that he’d gotten better over the years, which I only barely believed… until he told me a joke that hadn’t left my mind since. A joke that he described as ‘just crude enough to make it palatable to the layman.’

"Caffeine and Viagra are both phosphodiesterase inhibitors,” he’d said — a slow start if there had ever been such a thing. But I held on to hope, hanging on the ecstatic, guileless smile he wore. And boy, was I glad I did, because what he’d said next broke me into a frankly embarrassing fit of giggles that returned with the memory every time.

“Which explains why both of these drugs keep you up all night."

The poor barista stuck working the busy early morning shift eyed me like I’d grown two heads when I once again devolved into laughter for no apparent reason. I almost felt embarrassed about it, but then I reassured myself that if she’d heard Dr. Spencer Reid tell a drug-induced-boner joke, she would also laugh about it forever.

I’d been thinking about him a lot lately. Not in a perverse way, either, despite his increasing comfort in breaching such topics in my presence. It was more like I’d started to infuse him into my every day, finding him in whatever way my brain would allow. While I made my way to his office, I breathed in the soothing scent drifting from the cups that were precariously perched in flimsy cardboard.

The smell took me back to quiet moments in his office. The kind of simple serenity that accompanied silence between two people who need not speak to share ideas. Where the second you looked away, you felt their eyes follow you, like the universe couldn’t maintain its structural integrity without one of you looking at the other.

It was intoxicating and alluring; so easy to lose myself in. Something I knew was dangerous for a number of reasons.

For example, when I am not paying the utmost attention to my surroundings, I have a tendency to lose track of where I am and what I’m doing. I also tend to… drop things. Especially hot and otherwise dangerous things.

Things like the two cups of coffee that finally became too much for shallow, defective cardboard.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” I screeched as I became acutely aware of every place where scorching hot, drenched clothing hung on angry skin. Normally, I would at least try to sound more dignified while on my way to work, but it hardly seemed like it mattered anymore.

I was too busy hurriedly tearing at my shirt and dropping everything else I was holding. I’d gotten three whole buttons on my shirt popped by the time I remembered it wasn’t technically necessary. I dropped my bag immediately at the thought, tugging on the hem of the shirt and trying to bring it over my head.

Unfortunately, I still hadn’t regained my grace, and in the muddled mess of fabric, I’d also grabbed hold of my undershirt. Which meant that whoever was walking through the empty halls of the early morning in academia would find me, with my stomach exposed and clothing dripping while unintelligible curses flowed freely from my lips.

I expected most people would probably just turn around and leave. I probably would’ve. The giant splatter of coffee and the absolute idiot slipping in it were beyond saving.

But there was at least one person who saw the mess and stayed.

I smelled his cologne before I felt his hand was pressed over the bare skin of my lower back. Despite the fact my skin was burning, it welcomed the warmth of his touch. My body stopped at his command, waiting for him to break me free of the paradoxically frozen state I was in.

He pulled the shirt back down, just enough that I could see him when he wrapped his cardigan around my shoulders and started guiding me into his office, which I’d somehow managed to almost walk straight past in my daze. I wished that I could go back there, to the imaginary world where he hadn’t just seen me half disrobed and cursing while covered in the coffee that I’d meant to give to him.

Spencer’s hands left me once the door was shut, probably trusting, or at least hoping, that I could figure out the mess on my own. Oddly enough, I didn’t notice any signs of him staring at me. Like he only felt comfortable looking when I was clothed.

I tried not to think about it. Once I did manage to free myself of one of the shirts — without further flashing my boss — the anxiety brewing inside of me burst out in the form of frantic shouting.

“Hi Professor! I’m so sorry, I spilled the coffee!”

“Yeah, I... saw the puddle,” he mumbled, throwing a cursory glance back at the hallway before his eyes met mine with a terrifying level of compassion, “Are you alright?”

“Besides the boiling liquid on my skin and the horrid embarrassment? I guess,” I mumbled back before shouting, “Shit! This is why that woman sued McDonald’s! Why do stores serve coffee like that?!”

Spencer didn’t really say anything. In fact, he kind of just stood as frozen as I had been, staring at everything around me rather than meeting my eyes again. But while he seemed somewhat cool and composed, I continued to tug at my clothes to try and avoid the friction. It was then that he cleared his throat, covering his face just like he’d done when he saw me in an arguably more provocative position the week before.

Arguably, I said. I should have known that Spencer would win any argument. I should have considered why he was making such a point of not looking at me while I clawed at the white undershirt turned beige. But I didn’t. Not until I looked down to inspect the state of my skin.

I realized then that Spencer had been trying to figure out a way to inform me that not only had the coffee turned my shirt a different shade — it had also eliminated the opacity.

He could see my bra. Spencer Reid, my boss, was trying not to stare at my very clearly visible bra.

“God, this is the worst Monday of all Mondays!” I whined between half-sobs, “and Mondays are already bad, Professor!”

There must have been something else in that cry, too. Something akin to permission. Enough for him to step closer, managing to avoid looking at my chest in the process. I’d entirely forgotten that he’d wrapped me in his cardigan until he pulled it tighter around my shoulders like his own version of an embrace.

“That they are, Bunny.”

If my skin had been heated before, it turned to flames at the use of the nickname. It was honestly a pure work of magic that the liquid on me didn’t turn vaporize the second I’d heard the word.

Bunny?

I pushed the thought away as quick as humanly possible, focusing instead on the way my clothes were going from uncomfortably hot to frigid as a result of the usually refreshing air conditioning. But when I was once again reminded of the obvious undergarment, I sighed.

“I can probably ask a friend to bring me a replacement shirt, or just go to class like this,” I thought aloud, “No one really looks at me, anyway...”

Spencer’s response came immediately, his hands flying up in protest as he shouted, “No!”

I wasn’t quite sure how to reply to that, or even which part of the statement he was objecting to, so he was met with a wide-eyed, slow blinking stare.

“I-I mean, I have a shirt you can borrow. I don’t want to subject you to any further embarrassment,” he explained at a significantly more appropriate volume, “You can just wear my extra shirt.”

He turned away from me before I could respond, shuffling through something hidden beneath his desk that created more questions than answers for me.

“Why do you have an extra shirt?”

“Go bag,” he said in the most nondescript manner. It wasn’t necessarily abnormal, either. The question I’d asked didn’t spark any concerns in his mind, but it also wasn’t the question that I felt needed to be asked.

What I really wanted to say was caught in my throat. My hands clamped together in front of me tighter than my jaw that resisted opening to make way for the thoughts that felt more scandalous than they should’ve been.  

“U-Um, Professor don’t you think—“

“Here you go,” he offered with a smile. I took the large, plain black shirt with a hefty dose of caution, my hands shaking along with my broken voice that still couldn’t finish the sentence from before.

Spencer finally noticed the struggle on my face, and I watched his body move from comfortable to defensive in a matter of seconds. Like he was worried he’d done something wrong in trying to be kind.

He hadn’t, but I felt like I had.

“Won’t people... you know?” I mumbled, motioning a hand between the two of us, “I’m showing up to your class at 8AM wearing your clothes…”

I thought that the words alone would be enough. I thought that the gesture was overkill. But Spencer was still staring at me with his head cocked to the side and his eyes narrowed in thought.

I was going to have to say it.

Won’t they think we’re having sex?

There was no way I was going to be able to say it.

“Aren’t you concerned about people getting… the wrong idea?” I blurted out, instead.

The confusion on his face shifted to a clever little self-assured smirk so fast that I almost missed the transition. My stomach flipped from the sight, but then he spoke again, and what had felt like it was filled with butterflies turned to rocks.

“I’d much rather them gossip about something that’s not happening than watch the young boys ogle you instead of paying attention.”

It wasn’t the words, but the way that he’d said them. Like they were silly, like the idea of us being together was so preposterous it could only be entertained by people he perceived to be children.

I was foolish, too.

“Don’t worry about them,” he said with a wave, “Just worry about making this Monday a little bit better.”

“O-okay. Thanks,” I whispered, turning and running from the room only to be reminded of the mess I’d made. But the pool of tawny liquid on the floor wasn’t the most disastrous thing anymore. That honor was reserved for the state of my heart, begrudgingly continuing to beat despite being broken.

Scooping up my bag that I’d abandoned before, I tried to allow myself to be happy about the little things. For instance, the fact that the shirt Spencer had handed me was probably the softest thing I’d ever felt in my life. It made sense, considering the sensory issues he always described.

Still, I waited until I was in the safety of a bathroom stall before I buried my face in the fabric. It smelled just like him, a mixture of freshly done laundry and vanilla. Much better than the cheap, burnt coffee that covered me. Funny enough, that sort of smelled like him, too.

By the time I slipped into his clothes, I had almost forgotten his joke entirely. I was too lost in the joy of sweater paws from his cardigan and fabric that felt like a hug. Or at least, what I’d imagined a hug from him would be like.

The energy it provided me was a better pick-me-up than any cup of coffee had ever been. I kept my squealing as quietly as I could, bouncing in place just like the nickname he’d chosen to let stick. But before I returned to him, I felt something. A small, noticeable weight in one of the cardigan pockets.

If I’d thought about it for longer than five seconds, if I’d reminded myself that they were his clothes and not mine, I would’ve let it be. I wouldn’t have pulled the little object from its safe hiding spot. It would have stayed locked away, leaving me none the wiser of its presence.

But I didn’t think about it, and then there I was, holding onto the sobriety token I should’ve seen coming.

Not that it was a bad thing; I already knew Spencer had a history with drugs. He’d mentioned it in passing in class and was deeply involved with a number of volunteer programs around the area. At one point, I’d even taken it upon myself to research his history.

That research, while I regretted it now, feeling that it violated his privacy some way or another, led me to a second conclusion. As my thumb ghosted over the embossed number five, I realized that Spencer had been sober since he was released from prison.

My heart swelled with pride and relief that felt shameful. I didn’t want the token to have such a profound effect on the image of him I’d already crafted in my mind. Lord knew I didn’t need any more reasons to idolize him. And, at the end of the day, I’d only discovered this information by happenstance.

Part of respect, I decided, meant ignoring the way that fate seemed to push us together. If Spencer ever wanted my opinion on his sobriety or strength, surely, he would just ask. So, I slipped the chip back into the pocket and made my way back to him without worry for what it meant.

While I had no worries, Spencer was another story. I’d barely even made it through the door when he saw me. All of the papers he’d been holding immediately fell from his hands the same way the coffee had fallen from mine.

“Oh no! My clumsiness was contagious!” I laughed, bolting over to help him only to find his face an unhealthy shade of red. He chuckled back but said nothing else as he scrambled to pick up the loose-leaf that had splayed itself all over the floor.

Once we were back on our feet and as collected as we could be considering the circumstances of the morning thus far, his eyes met mine again. His cheeks were still flushed, unable to focus on anything specific and choosing to traverse my body the same way his hands had on Halloween.

“Sorry,” he mumbled in a way that made me wonder if he knew I could hear him, “I was distracted by how unfair it is that you look better in my clothes than I do.”

It was my turn to be flustered, but Spencer didn’t let the moment drag on. He tore himself away from me in every sense of the word, marching past me and halfway exiting the room before he found the courage to look at me again.

“Are you ready to head to class?” he asked as if it were an option.

I suppose to him, it was. For a second I imagined what the future would hold for us if I’d said no. What would he have done if I begged him to stay with me, instead? What if we rebelled against expectation and remained locked away in his office until we grew tired of one another? What if we never did?

My mind filled with fantasies of Spencer’s hands freely feeling my skin the way his clothes could. I could hear soft, breathy sounds of desire shaped like my name. For all of my inexperience, he would still find me intoxicating. He would grow drunk on me the same way a child finds endless joy in sweets that really ought to make them sick.

Then again, maybe he had grown used to the sugar. Maybe he wanted something more mature, a bitterness like molasses that was only earned from years I hadn’t had yet.

Regardless, I couldn’t really get into any of that. Instead, I just flashed a very awkward thumbs up to the man fifteen years my elder when I droned, “Sure am, Professor man.”

As stupid as it felt to do something so juvenile, the smile he gave was worth it.

“Alright then, Bunny,” he answered with his own little peace sign, “Let’s hop along.”

——————————————————

It hadn’t even been a week since I saw her, scantily clad in the plush, socially acceptable equivalent of lingerie. It’d been even less time since I admitted my own weakness to her. I’d replayed the memories of her visceral responses to my touch enough times that I should be sick of it. But there was no tiring of her.

I considered deleting the photos she’d sent me, convinced that it was cruel to keep them when she’d only sent them while inebriated and undoubtedly exhausted beyond belief.

But when I woke up in the morning, my stomach still reeling from the knowledge of what I’d done, all that she’d sent was a curious collection of emotes and a very brief note.

“Oops!” she’d written, “Bad bunny?”

I put that phrase out of my mind immediately, unable to handle the way it incited the desire for destruction in my veins.

“I’m always glad to hear that you are safe.”

That was the end of the conversation, and I was grateful for that much. Even the few words we’d exchanged would haunt me until I saw her again. Of course, the torture ended there, but only for a few seconds before it was replaced with other images and words.

It’d been hours since I’d found her flailing about half-naked in the hall while uttering rushed curses that sounded too crude for her lips. It’d been hours since I felt the soft skin of her lower back and became lost in an entirely different set of fantasies.

It’d been even less time since I saw her standing at my door, pulling on the sleeves of my sweater and staring at me with nervous, shifty glances. Completely unaware of just how beautiful she was in her simplicity. How much more torturous it was to see her wearing my clothes than any lustful suffering that lingerie or nudity could elicit.

I thought that it would get better throughout the day, but it didn’t. It only got worse.

I’d stepped out of my office for barely half an hour, but I returned to find her curled up on the plush chair. Her shoes were slipped off, revealing colorful socks that clashed with every other neutral color she wore. It somehow made me want her even more.

I stayed stuck for a few seconds longer, watching her with bated breath and shameless admiration. She was so caught up in the papers on her lap that she didn’t even notice my presence until the door clicked shut. It was then that she turned to see me, allowing a smile to blossom across her face despite eyes narrowed with suspicion.

“What’s all of this?” she asked, gesturing to the collection of bags hanging from my wrists.  

“Did you know…” I started before my heart stopped at how she always leaned forward with excitement whenever I started a sentence that way, “that food is one of the best ways to solve a terrible Monday?”

“Which scientific study did you get that from?”

I paused again, debating telling her the many studies that would support such a theory, but then decided against it. Instead, I sought out her laughter and childlike joy that always brought out the best of her.

“Garfield,” I answered.

Sure enough, the office filled with the melodious sound of her happiness. I moved as quietly as I could, thinking back to when I was younger and thought of how powerful bottled laughter would be if I could capture it. Hers would surely right so many wrongs.

“You don’t have to take it if you don’t want to, but I figure it’s the least I could do.”

She approached me to assist before I’d even made it to my desk, and although I thought her hands were far too soft to be bothered with something like this, I allowed her to help.

“You could do nothing, you know. It was my own fault.”

“Yeah, but I wanted to.”

She laughed again, shier and shrinking into the sweater as she tried to find her place in such a domestic activity as sharing a meal with me in private. I thought of how it was a taste of my dreams.

Because as often as I did fantasize about her, undone, bare-skinned, and defenseless to my desires, I just as often envisioned her just like this. In fact, I found those fantasies more dangerous. They couldn’t be written off as mere lust. They were another, scarier thing.

“Well, lucky you I am an exhausted, broke grad student, so free food will always win me over,” she muttered, half-sarcastically but just sad enough to bother me.  

“Duly noted,” I said.

I hid away the promises I wanted to make. That if she were mine, she would want for nothing. That I would give her everything she needed to bloom. That I would prune away any neighboring flower that dared get in her way or block the sunlight. There would be no need to worry of predators or pollinators intruding, because she would belong to me and only me.

I would be her earth, her rain, and her sun. I would be surely and shamelessly selfish.

Her shoulders rose with a cheeky, excited little giggle once she had collected her food. I wanted nothing more than to let her enjoy it to her heart’s content… but there was a problem.

“Nuh-uh, no way,” I chuckled before she had a chance to return to the chair with her precarious paper plate, “Get in the other chair.”

Her face scrunched up, bouncing back and forth between the two seats in the room like she’d heard something so strange that it must have been a mistake.

“Wh— your chair?”

“I will not have you ruining another shirt today,” I explained. It caused the confusion to quickly shift to an embarrassed frustration within seconds. Just as she opened her mouth to protest my teasing, I continued with something I knew would tie her tongue until she could no longer argue.

“If you’re so worried about what they’ll say when you show up in my shirt, just think of how they’ll talk if they catch you wearing nothing.”

That stubborn little thing still tried. Her mouth floundered, strange sounds of protest starting but never finishing until she gave up. She sulked over to the seat with an odd amount of self-satisfaction. She settled into my space as comfortably as she always did. With an ease that was almost unsettling to my tired, tortured heart.

Swapping places with her for that little bit of time was a good idea. I hadn’t expected that it would bring me as much serenity as it did. My usually busy lips kept their focus on the food, opting to listen to her ramble about any and everything that came to mind.

It wasn’t until she was fifteen minutes into an explanation on her paper that I realized how little I’d tried to learn about her life outside of me. Whether it was self-preservation or narcissism, I’d never decided. But what I was certain of was that it had been a brutal form of self-sabotage.

Because as I sat there, watching her clumsily, excitedly swinging her fork and proving my point that it had been a good decision to give her the desk, I saw her for in a different light than before.

She was not just a beautiful, mysterious flower peeking through the concrete. She was the trembling giant, the clonal colony of thousands of quaking aspen trees. An extravagant network of roots that flowed far beyond the seed that started them.

This sprout might be new, but her soul was ancient and celestial, wise and immortal.

“Who knows?” she sighed, coming to a natural conclusion of a story I had almost missed while lost in daydreams and metaphors, “Maybe one day I’ll be a professor, too.”

“You’d be good at it.”

For once, it felt like she accepted the compliment without a fight. I considered it progress all the way up until she shot back a thinly veiled taunt.

“Thanks. Means a lot from someone who has 4 stars on rate my professor!”

“Don’t forget the chili pepper,” I jokingly returned.

“Not sure I’d get one of those.”

I knew that my disagreement wouldn’t amount to much in the grand scheme of things, so I opted for a slightly-self-centered flattery instead.

“Just show up in that outfit,” I said with a nod that barely hid my actual intention of focusing my eyes on the rest of her, “you’ll be golden.”

“You gonna let me borrow it in ten years?” she hummed.

It was a dangerous proposition, an implication that made the pitter-pattering in my chest unbearable. Rather than chasing her down the rabbit hole of fantasies, I just chuckled before I answered, “You know how to find me.”

Then it happened again. Her face slowly changed, growing from a cautious optimism to a yearning. A subtle hint of words left unsaid. And although she wet her lips and set down her fork, the words never came out. They stayed stalled in her throat, and there was no discernible way for me to drag them out of her without hurting the both of us.

When a loud knock resounded through the room, the thought ended altogether.

“Come in,” I grimly announced, recognizing the intrusive sound as the death rattle for whatever might have been said.

As the door opened, I realized the same time (y/n) did that we had forgotten that the rest of the outside world wasn’t familiar with our dynamic. They didn’t have the backstory of how she’d perched herself on my chair with her shoes off and wearing my clothes.

Torn between scrambling to take more socially acceptable positions and the knowledge that our hurry would make us look even more suspicious, we both opted to remain frozen in place like deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming train.

When the door opened, however, I was somewhat relieved to see someone I found completely unthreatening. My closest colleague, a woman that should really terrify me all things considered, seemed mostly perplexed when she found a young girl in my seat.

She quickly turned to me, drawing out her words as she asked, “Oh. I’m sorry, am I... interrupting something?”

“No, what can I help you with, Candy?”

“I was hoping we could talk about my current paper proposal.”

She paused, and I took the moment to follow her glower to the flower still stationary behind my desk. (Y/n) stared back, seemingly frightened by the presence of the other Professor.  

“If you’re busy with... office hours…” Candy muttered before turning back to me, “we can always set up a meeting for a better time.”

Before I could address the possible tension or implication, the girl at my desk sprung to action, clearing off any sign of her presence as she spoke.

“You know, I actually need to get going.”

“Are you sure?”

She didn’t look at me when she answered, “Yeah, I’m sure your papers are more important.”

If I’d turned back to Candy, I might have seen the condescending scowl that was driving her away. If I’ve had any inclination or desire to look at Candy, I would have realized that (y/n) wasn’t trying to escape from her connection to me. She was just trying to get out of my way.

It didn’t make it any harder to watch her leave. I took solace in the fact that she held tighter to my cardigan, trusting me to keep her warm by proxy as she ventured back into the real world. The world where we couldn’t be in peace.

“Thanks for the advice, Professor,” she said before she left, “You were right. As usual.”

One last smile was shared, somber but sobering. A necessary break from the intimacy of the moment.

“See you in class.”

The office felt so much duller without her radiance, but my disappointment would have to wait. As much as I actually didn’t mind the world knowing how my heart hurt from her absence, I knew that it was best I didn’t let it impact her academic career.

“Sorry again for the intrusion,” my colleague said in a much happier voice.  

“It’s not a problem at all.”

She must have noticed the way it sounded like a lie, because her tone quickly shifted back to a slightly disgruntled confusion.

“I didn’t realize she was your student, too. What class is she in?”

It was juvenile, really, the way my heart fluttered so ridiculously at the mere mention of her existence. The excuse to discuss her again.

“Oh, did she not tell you?”

Candy just shook her head with a blatantly false smile.

“Unsurprisingly modest,” I laughed, making my way back over to my seat and running my fingers over the wooden armrests like it would be the same as touching her ghost, “She’s my TA.”

“Oh… I see.”

“She was the only one who would put up with me,” I offered with a chuckle. Self-deprecating humor was the only reliable personality trait I had. It was also, unfortunately, one that most women in my life despised and refused to let sit.

“I’m sure that’s not true.”

It sounded less sweet coming from her. I wrote it off as a product of the differences in their species. While the hummingbird of a girl who’d just flittered away was used to only drinking the sweetest, purest nectar, the bird of prey who’d entered relied on the work of others to gather the sweetness before they were devoured.

That wasn’t to say she was cruel; hawks are as much a miracle of nature as hummingbirds. I simply related to one more than the other. I understood one while the other remained a mystery. And I loved mysteries more than myself.

“So, you wanted to talk about your paper?”

“Oh! Yes,” she chirped, passing the packet over to me now that I’d found my way back to what she probably deemed my rightful place. “The conference is coming up so much faster than I anticipated, and I would love to hear your opinions on my first draft.”

I’d already started to read the first page when she spoke again, uncharacteristically bashful and anxious, “Since we’ll be presenting together, I figured...”

“Yeah, no problem at all,” I interrupted, not wanting her to dwell nor expand on the thought of us doing anything together any more than necessary, “I can send you mine.”

It felt curt, blunt, and off putting when I said it, but she didn’t take it as such.

“Wonderful. You have such a unique voice when you’re writing. It’s very refreshing.”

Immediately, a memory appeared at the forefront of my mind and led to a laugh that I couldn’t contain. Candy seemed pleased at the sound, and I felt the need to explain.

“Thanks. (Y/n) likened it to Ray Bradbury at one point, although in different and less flattering words.”

I could hear her clear as day, quoting my words with an overdramatized effect before laughing, ‘Pack it up, Bradbury, you’ve got more science stuff to explain.’

Of course, we both found her laughter-ridden explanation of the ‘meme’ far funnier than the original joke. She was probably the only person in the world who never seemed bothered by explaining everything to me ad nauseam.

“She is... certainly a choice as a TA,” Candy strained upon scrutinizing the smile that had returned to my face for the first time since (y/n)’s departure, “Will she be joining us at the conference?”

But then the guilt returned, wiping the smile from my face and replacing happy memories with deviant thoughts and fears.

“Oh... you know, I haven’t asked her.”

“That’s perfectly alright! I think we’ll do just fine without her.”

“Right...” I whispered, glancing back down at the stack of papers in my hand before setting it in the tray designated for (y/n). “I’ll have her look at your paper just in case.”

A lull in the conversation stretched past the point of comfort for both of us, and I glanced up at the woman I actually felt guilty for ignoring in place of fantasies that would probably never come to be. She hadn’t even done anything to warrant my disregard. She was an attractive woman — as beautiful as she was brilliant, really — she had worked very hard to garner my trust and academic collaboration. At one point, I had considered her one of the few potential candidates for something more than a purely academic partner.

But there was something about the way she looked at the honeyed girl that made my hair stand on end. A defensiveness and instinct that couldn’t be ignored.

“Is there anything else you need?”

“No, that was all,” she said as she broke from what I presumed to be her own daydream, “I hope your semester keeps going well.”

“Thanks, I hope yours does, too.”

I meant it, despite the aforementioned concern. I wished her well in the semester for both selfless and selfish reasons. I wished her well because she deserved it, certainly. But the other reason, the larger one, was that I hoped she would remain distracted. I hoped that she didn’t notice the way I would slip away from her affections to chase those from a more interesting challenge. One that remained mysterious, with hair covered in pollen and lips sweet with ambrosia.

“I’ll talk to you soon, Dr. Reid.”

I failed to respond to her again before the door shut because my hands were already busy with rekindling contact with another.

“I have a proposition for you, Bunny.”

“Sounds ominous. I’m in.”  

The fact that the response came before I could even shut off the display was so characteristic of her that I had to laugh.

“You haven’t even heard it yet,” I observed, to which she once again immediately responded, “Your point being?”

“I’m afraid this is an obligation that does require some expansion before agreement.”

Her response was slower, then, and I could almost see her with a slight panic and overwhelming curiosity that grew stronger by the second.

“Ominous and vaguely unsettling,” she said.  

I considered drawing it out further, letting her imagination truly run wild with the possibilities. But then I realized that if she thought hard enough about it, she might reach the same place that had immediately come to my mind.

“Would you like to attend the upcoming conference with me?” I relented, almost stopping there but then frantically tagging on the conditions I knew would be most likely to cause hesitation. “You’d have your own room, of course. The department and I will help with funds.”

But, as it turned out, I didn’t need to be worried.

“A cheap weekend away from school where I get to be a nerd with you?” she sent with another set of small, smiling faces I was only just starting to understand, “Of course I’m going to say yes, Professor!”

“Perfect. I’ll arrange it.”

“I can’t wait!”

Although I felt the same, I forced myself to end contact again. I put my phone out of reach to prevent myself from spoiling any more of my fantasies than I already had. I didn’t need her to second-guess the possibilities of a weekend away together now that she’d already agreed to it.

The thought alone sparked guilt anew. Through the entire interaction, I’d infused each word with a charge that shouldn’t have been. Each line was far more provocative than it needed to be.

It was just an academic conference. Most people found them terribly dull, not to mention physically exhausting. It would not be a time away like most couples dreamed of because we were not a couple in any sense of the word.

Yet… I couldn’t help but feel that perhaps there weren’t as many differences as one might think. Because while yes, most people would be bored, I didn’t think Bunny would be. Clandestine meetings made between conference meetings sounded exactly like the kind of dreams we would share.

I believed it so strongly that my mind had already drafted several narratives that would suit her. I pictured her and I sharing company in public, unafraid of public displays of affection — innocent, childish kinds, of course — because we were miles away from those who might care.

That drunken, lust-inducing, half-lidded gaze from the week before would return. Except this time, I would taste the wine on her tongue, my hands sliding not over fluffy fabric, but the same skin that I’d felt for the first time that morning.

Behind our door, I would teach her so many things. Things that she would have begged me for. Things that others would see written on her skin in the shape of my fingers and mouth. Things that she would carry with a straighter back and dripping down her legs.

I didn’t just want to destroy her. I wanted to break her so that I could build her back with gold-laced lacquer. She would be my kintsugi creation full of sugar and honey, just imperfect enough that the sticky residue of her sweetness would slip through the cracks to coat everything she touched.

And then she would touch me, and I might finally feel like I deserved anything at all.

——————————————————

| Part Five |

[leviiattacks]

CASHIER LEVI AND LIKE THE READER IS THE CUSTOMER AND IT’S LIKE THEY HAVE A CRUSH ON EACHTOHER

author note :: honestly not my best at all..... like at all..... this was actually pretty good but the entire draft got deleted and i just lost all my effort but i felt bad for starting it and not completing it for anon so you may take whatever i have managed to salvage. i hope u enjoy it :’( i am extremely sick rn and yeah writing is the only break i am currently getting from anything :-) SO AGAIN I’ M SORRY ANON..... i may write a 10k + word fic on this though so i can redeem myself bc this is just disappointing 😭

word count :: 3.3k

every single thursday you stop by ackermart. maybe it’s because the day is convenient for you or perhaps it’s because of a certain cashier that works the evenings...

HAHA it’s got nothing to do with a cashier why would it have anything to do with a cashier? :-)

today is like any other. you walk through the fresh produce aisle then proceed to make your way towards the bakery section picking up a loaf of bread

it’s stupid, you know it is but... you think you’ve worked up enough courage to speak to him today!!

and who is him you may ask?

levi at till number four. his tired eyes always happen to pierce into yours and his calloused thumbs brush past your skin when you hand him your rewards card

levi is what his bright red name tag says and although he doesn’t look like a levi you’d like to think your crush isn’t stealing someone’s identity so you believe that it’s his real name

anxiously fiddling with your basket you’re beginning to think this was a horrible idea

the girl ahead of you is flirting up a storm with him and although he’s not reciprocating it by any means you still feel deterred

levi bags the last of her groceries and looks up at her when she asks for a way to contact him. he doesn’t look mad... just bored?

“ma’am. this is an ackermart i don’t think it’s appropriate you ask me for my number. the customer service line is listed on our website.”

the woman raises a brow looking completely flabbergasted. okay, if everything before this wasn’t a warning THIS sure was

she stomps off when she realises levi isn’t kidding and you think you’d feel bad for her maybe if she was more respectful about it

“next customer.” levi calls over his shoulder and you shuffle forward pretending to be engrossed in your phone

“cash or card?” he asks plainly.

you hear the BEEP of your groceries being scanned and think on it for a while before replying with “cash”

you’re clearly pretty good at your pretend to be totally into your phone act because levi tries to get your attention but you don’t hear what he has to say till the third time he repeats himself

but even then you’re still unsure what it is he’s said????

looking down you see his hand is stuck out in front of you and now you’re even more confused

faltering for a second you look at his palm and then speak

“um, i guess your hand is nice? it’s pretty big compared to the rest of you actually.”

“i was asking for your cash?” he says and now you look at his palms in mortification

gasping you yANK your hand into your purse as you laugh awkwardly fishing around to find your money

“oh, OH i knew that. just kidding!! i mean- i meant that thing about your hand?? but i thought it was- i funny? yes the joke funny? i’m-”

he leans back into his spinning chair and sighs contently. “you’re not making much sense peaches.”

“pe- peaches??” you repeat. no way you’ve heard that correct

levi lazily points at the abundance of the aforementioned fruit in your grocery bags

“you must love em.”

“i, well yeah i do like peaches but i also like...” um??? what food would make you look sophisticated and professional?

OH YEAH

“FRENCH CUISINE :-)!!!!” you say rather proudly

“...cool. i guess.” levi hands you your grocery bag which is basically an invitation asking for you to get out

he doesn’t seem mad but he’s definitely going to look back at this encounter and laugh his ass off at how stupid you are

hanging your head down low in embarrassment you make your way out towards your car

there’s always next time!! maybe you can practice in the mirror yeah that does sound like it would help!!!

okay so.

it is officially next time.

actually you never got the opportunity to practice in front of the mirror because you chickened out of looking like an idiot even if it was in the privacy of your own home

but!!! you did try to practice some cool pick up lines because who doesn’t like a good pickup line or two??

the two mini milk cartons in your hand and the pack of doughnuts you have tucked under your arm aren’t too heavy so you aren’t too worried about having to wait in the line

for some reason the guy in front of you keeps turning around and glancing at you as if you don’t even exist

you are not casper the ghost

also casper is a little boy and you definitely aren’t a little boy

finally after a good five minutes the man ahead of you is having his stuff scanned but he’s STILL doing it. even levi notices and gives him an odd look which borders annoyance and anger.

“can i pay for your groceries? maybe walk you to your car?” the stranger asks suddenly

so that’s what this is, he’s simply taken an interest in you

my god this is new but it is uncomfortable and you’d rather say no

“oh, i actually walked here and no thanks i can pay for my own. enjoy the rest of your day!!” you hope your white lie is enough to fool the man but instead of agreeing as any other person would he looks majorly deceived

“i saw you in the parking lot.” ok this is getting a bit too uncomfortable for your liking

“c’mon i’m offering to buy your shit too?”

his voice is raising and you’re not sure what exactly you can do but thankfully for you the manager steps in and takes him away before any more threats can be made

the man had taken up so much of your attention you almost forgot levi was even there until you turned back around

“do you want a member of staff to accompany you to your car? it’s getting dark out.” levi’s comment helps ease your nerves and you try to laugh off what just happened

“i’m good :-)” you say shaking a little. you’re unsure if it’s the cold or the fact you still haven’t completely calmed down

“you sure peaches?”

“i haven’t bought any peaches this time.”

“you’re still peaches to me.” your cheeks flush at his confidence

wait, maybe this is your chance. you’re the last person in his line and they’re closing up for the day so...

“could you walk me to my car?”

and to your surprise even before you can take back what you’ve said levi agrees

it stays like that for a while.

every thursday levi walks you to your car by the end of his shift, all the while the two of you exchange a few words together

like last week you asked him what his favourite colour was (he said purple) you’ve learnt about his hobbies (he’s a decent cook), you’ve even found out about some of his own personal problems. he had mentioned suffering with insomnia in passing.

to be honest each and every time he walks you to your car he has to notice that you begin to park further and further away from the front entrance. but if he does notice he doesn’t say a word about it

“is that all you’re checking out?” you ask with a cheeky grin plastered across your face

looking down at your new dress your lopsided grin is far from fading away any time soon. you especially picked this one out after asking levi what his favourite colour was last week

god. this is so embarrassing but never actually have you had a crush this huge

levi who’s sat behind the counter shoots you a look which almost seems to be on the verge of uninterested. he isn’t entertaining this at all or this is just his typical bored face, you can’t really tell

BUT..... you still have a huge crush on him and you aren’t one to give up this easily

for the record you don’t harass him or anything, just the occasional hint is thrown around but he’s either really dense or doesn’t care

his expression does you no favours, you can’t tell what he’s thinking half the time

“you’re always buying energy drinks... might want to cut down on those they’re no good for you.”

warmth blooms in your chest. he’s just saying it to make small talk but the fact he even thinks to bring that up has your heart fluttering

“i- well- yeah i will!! just have a few overdue essays to get over with :-)” twiddling your thumbs together you think that makes your nerves too obvious so you begin to scratch at the back of your neck

if anything is a dead give away it’s your constant neck scratching, thankfully levi hasn’t picked up on it

“so you wore purple today?” his eyes linger on the thin straps of your dress and you feel the goosebumps rise up onto your skin immediately

“oh yeahhhh-”

“did i tell you yellow was my favourite colour last week?” he asks holding up a neon yellow pack of crisps and for the first time you see him smile

he looks so ?!|>\€|^ pretty ?!/)/&

wait?? yellow??

“didn’t you say purple?”

“no?” he crosses his arms playfully over his chest thinking for a bit

“maybe i did but no it’s really yellow.” he says as he hands you your bag

nodding your head you smile “yeahhhh sure it is.”

damn, now you’re going to have to find a yellow dress just to make him revert back to purple because who even likes yellow?? that’s a deal breaker right there??

update

it’s been two weeks!!

and a yellow dress has been found and secured B-)

it’s been a pretty rough day at work and you need to desperately collect a pack of green tea and get going

you don’t know when exactly being a secretary meant you had to babysit your boss’ children but that’s what the last week has entailed

being made to work overtime to this extent has had an effect on you and you’re ready to head home as soon as you swing by ackermart

not seeing levi for a week made you a little :-( because to be honest he’s the highlight of your thursday evening BUT!! you’ll be able to see him today at least

walking in through the entrance you’re met with connie smiling right at you, he holds the door open for you and smile back greeting him

“so you didn’t come last week...?”

it’s weird for him to ask that, after all you don’t really speak to anyone here apart from levi, you’re surprised you’re enough of a regular to be known by name

“oh i didn’t think anyone would notice? but yeah i had to work overtime you know what boss’ are like.” groaning you crouch down and look at the pot noodles on display

“i didn’t notice it. boss man did.”

“boss man?” you ask feeling out of loop

“levi.” connie answers as he hops into the backroom

????

isn’t he just a cashier??

“you still look confused.” connie remarks as he heads back out with a cardboard box full of pringle’s tubes

“levi’s the boss man, this is his store. he literally only ever mans the cash register on thursday evening because of you.”

at that you start laughing because it makes no sense at all to you

there’s no way connie is being serious

“good one.” you say as you stand up with a chicken flavored noodle in your hand

“i’m not kidding?”

turning around you give him a skeptical look

he sighs and shakes his head.

“listen. me and the part timers are tired of making bets on when he’ll give you his number and i bet that it would happen today so if you could confess to each other that would be perfect!!!”

“who said i like-”

“anyone with a brain can tell you both like each other.” he’s rolled his eyes so far into the back of his head you begin to take him a little more seriously now

“i... did i make it that obvious??” you’re directly facing him trying to get out as much information as you can

“yeah. very. at least levi wasn’t as bold.”

“i think you’ve got the wrong end of the stick he definitely doesn’t like me.”

connie gives you an “are you fucking with me?” look and you look away trying to distract yourself with the the canned goods lining the shelves

“he was worried sick when you didn’t come in for the entire week. he even asked me if he scared you away.”

“maybe i’m just his favourite customer?”

“favourite customer my ass he has a crush on YOU. confess.”

playing around with the ends of your sleeves connie sees he’s fighting a losing battle unless he gives you definitive solid proof

“please... i’ll get free barbecue if i win the bet and i’m kinda broke rn :-(” okay, you do want connie to eat well and be treated and maybe this is a good thing. if levi doesn’t like you then you can move on!!

“i’ll think about it.”

before connie can continue talking you make a beeline towards the tea aisle whilst throwing a “see you next time!” over your shoulder.

by the time you’ve gathered all of your groceries your basket is full to the brim. you’ve been lingering as much as you can out of fear but you think you’ve collected just enough courage to ask for his number

looking at the cash register levi is sat there and your shoulders slump. he’s probably going to say no and you’re going to look like a huge loser.

right as you’re about to take a step towards him levi finally spots you and gives you one look before standing up from his seat

“hi!” you wave at him

“...hey!” he smiles wide but he bites it back pretending it was never there in the first place

placing your basket in front of him he eyes what you’ve got

“hm... lots of peaches as per usual peaches.” the nickname that rolls of his tongue makes you tremble a little. will he call you that after you fuck everything up with this stupid confession?

his tongue pokes at the inside of his cheek when he gets to the heart shaped box of chocolates

“a gift for a friend? didn’t know you had those?” he teases as he scans the barcode

“gift for a crush!” you reply back enthusiastically as you dig through your wallet looking for your card

levi doesn’t respond for a few seconds and an awkward silence fills the air. you glance up to see him looking at you open mouthed in shock

“good luck.” he murmurs under his breath he’s not even returning your gaze at this point and is hurriedly scanning through your barcodes

“you okay?” you ask worrying about his mood

“yeah, yeah. great.” he’s quieter than usual.

the rest of your encounter is the same, levi silently bags your groceries and you can’t tell if this is a good or bad response.

just as he’s about to place the heart shaped box into your plastic bag you lunge forward holding his wrist to stop him

“no i don’t need those.”

he cocks his eyebrow upwards trying to analyse your expression and gain an understanding of your thoughts

“don’t tell me you’re chickening out. whoever it is will say yes.” he scoffs as he places the chocolates into the bag handing them over to you with a warm smile

there it is again. the fear returns and you swipe your tongue over your slightly dry lips.

no way.

is he telling you to confess to someone now? so he must not like you?

taking the bag away from him you scratch your neck out of habit and huff feeling frustrated

“he keeps giving me mixed signals.” you say hoping he catches your drift

“give him the chocolates and let him put two and two together. don’t even say anything.” his advice would be great if he weren’t the guy you were trying to confess to in real time

nodding you reach into the bag and bring the box back out before gently placing it in front of levi

“are you serious?” he asks and your face drops seeing the possible displeasure in his eyes

great, connie and the part timers just over analysed he doesn’t like you, obviously he doesn’t like you, why would he like you?

without looking back you hurry out, the embarrassment is eating you away now and the thought of ever returning to ackermart isn’t even feasible in your mind

at this point you may as well change your name, identity, dye your hair, have a few children and wear sunglasses the next time you come back so you look like a soccer mum and not the foolish y/n who thought they had a chance with their cute CASHIER???

god, you probably look like a creep

the sound of footsteps can be heard behind you and labored breaths follow before levi calls out for you

“please wait up.” he grumbles. slowing down your pace you let him catch up to you. he grabs at your wrist and sighs in relief

turning you see him savour the air

is this the part where he confesses he likes you too or—

“your receipt you forgot it.” he gasps as he opens your hand for you and places it into your palm

oh.

fingers clasping shut onto the paper you feel the humiliation seep into your pores

this.

is.

the.

worst.

moment.

of.

your.

life.

“open it.” he offer you a boyish smile and your nerves don’t let you find comfort in it

you grimace as you fold it open, you’re imagining he’s charged you an extra £100 for having unwanted feelings for him and if that’s the case you’ll die on the spot

but instead your eyes light up in joy. you’re pleasantly surprised

...

inside of the receipt is his phone number haphazardly sprawled across in black biro - you even double check by comparing it to the number for the customer service helpline

hello??

HELLO.?.!/)£ HIS NUMBER???

“if you just wanted to return the chocolate this is embarrassing.” he’s the one who’s now scratching at his neck and you find that he’s endearing this way

the streetlight from above illuminates him, the shadows cast over his face and his brows aren’t furrowed as they usually are

you open your mouth to reply but connie cuts you off unintentionally. he can be heard YELLING into his phone ecstatic that his plan has worked out

“I WIN!!! HA BBQ’S ON YOU JEAN!! MUST SUCK TO BE YOU.”

you and levi look at each other and laugh, reassuring the other of what has just happened.

well...

you guess this is the start of something new? maybe??

:-)

[sacredsorceress]

Secrets (Two) || Bucky Barnes

pairing: bucky barnes x reader

summary: after your conversation on the phone, bucky returns home with sam and natasha to find that you’ve been kidnapped. everyone begins to discover that the super soldier has been lying to them for far too long.

a/n: second chapter! once again the first few chapters are pure angst, but you can find fluff on my masterlist below! reblogs/replies are super appreciated!

word count: 2.9k

warnings: angst, mentions of kidnapping, swearing, description of violence (the fight scene from ca:tws)

Prologue One

masterlist || request || taglist

“What do you mean your wife?” Sam asked, following Bucky into the hallway.

When Bucky didn’t stop walking to answer his question, Sam’s hand landed on his shoulder, forcing him around to face him.

“Buck, man, what’s going on?” He asked. “You’re married?”

Bucky snatched Sam’s hand in his, yanking it off of his shoulder. “Yes, I’m married and no, I didn’t tell you. I didn’t tell anyone. Can I go now?”

Sam stared at the man in front of him. Although he had apparently not known him well enough to know that he was married, he had known him long enough to recognize that underneath his tough exterior he was scared.

There were very few times that Bucky Barnes was genuinely scared and the fact that Sam could see the feeling etched on his friend’s face now, terrified him.

“Buck, whatever it is- let me help you.” Sam said.

Usually Bucky would have handled it himself. He had been handling his problems- his secrets- for years in his own, but as he thought about you and possibly even your children in danger because of him, he knew he would have to take all the help that he could get- not for his- but for your sake.

-

As soon as Sam stopped the car outside of Bucky and yours shared home, Bucky swung open the door of the vehicle, pulling a gun out of the holster at his side with Sam quickly following behind. With no sign of any unknown vehicle in the driveway, Bucky swung open the front door of your home.

“Y/n?” He called. “Rebecca? Grant?”

When he heard no reply, he felt his heart drop into his stomach and his hands begin to tremble. You had to be there. His family had to be there- safe and sound. If you weren’t... if something had happened to you all because of him... he wouldn’t be able to live with himself.

Remembering what he had told you on the phone, he jogged towards the basement door, pulling it open and rushed down the stairs, Sam close behind on his heels.

As soon as he saw the rug on the basement floor he threw it to the side, swinging open the hatch he had hidden in the ground.

Being met with his children’s faces staring back at him, he breathed a sigh of relief, slipping the gun back into the holster. He reached out his arms, pulling his daughter from his son’s grasp into his own and reached out his hand to pull his son to his feet on the ground above the crawlspace.

“Oh my God.” He heard Sam say from beside him. “You have kids? What.. what haven’t you been telling us?”

He felt guilty as he stood there, both of his children in his arms. Sam was his best friend since Steve’s passing and had done more for him than anyone else possibly would. He felt guilty standing there, knowing that he had not only been keeping secrets from him, but from you too. He had been burying the truth from everyone for so long and he felt idiotic for not realizing that it would eventually come to the surface.

Before he could say anything however, Sam softened, kneeling before the boy stood at Bucky’s side.

“Hey buddy.” He said. “It’s nice to meet you. I’m-”

“You’re Captain America!” Your son exclaimed, pulling his tumb out of his mouth- a habit you and your husband had tried to break him out of years ago, but that he still slipped back into when he was nervous.

A smile stretched across Sam’s face at the fact that the child had recognized him. Pushing himself up and onto his feet once again, he pointed at your son.

“I like this one.” He said to Bucky.

Without an answer, Bucky handed his daughter over to Sam who took the young girl in his arms. Your husband kneeled in front of your son now, placing his hands on either of his shoulders.

“Grant,” He said. “Where’s your mom?”

He felt awful as he watched the young boy slip his thumb into this mouth once again, just now noticing his tear-stained cheeks.

“I- I don’t know.” He told his father. “There was yelling and- and-”

“And what, bud? What happened?” Bucky asked desperately, feeling his heart race in his chest, praying that nothing had happened to you.

“I- I think they took mom.” He said finally.

As soon as he had heard the confirmation from his own son’s mouth, he stood up and began pacing the room before rushing up the stairs, Sam calling after him as he did so. When he reached the top of the staircase he couldn’t help but tug at his own hair, pacing back and forth, thoughts of you running through his mind.

You were taken because of him. It was all his fault. He was the one they wanted- not you, but you got caught in the crossfire because you cared about him- because he didn’t tell you the truth. These people came in here looking for him and they took you. You didn’t deserve to suffer because of his past or because of his mistakes. He couldn’t bare the thought of you spending a minute with people who would do anything to get back at him.

“Barnes?”

Being pulled out of his own head he turned and saw Natasha Romanoff standing in the doorway.

“What- what are you doing here?” He asked, suddenly aware of how fast his heart was beating- so much so he could barely take a breath to speak.

“Wilson texted me when you guys left the Compound.” She said.

Just as she mentioned him, Bucky heard Sam come up from the basement, both of his children in tow.

Natasha glanced between Bucky and the two children attached to Sam’s hip.

“What-” She began. “Wilson said you were married, but...”

Too consumed in his own mess, Bucky didn’t even bother explaining the situation to the woman standing in the doorway, instead just continuously tugging at his hair, willing himself not to fall apart.

Watching the scene unfold, Sam was the first to speak.

“Alright.” He said, turning to Natasha. “Why don’t we take these kids back to the Compound. They’ll be safe there.”

Although he said nothing, knowing that his children weren’t safe in his own home because of him made Bucky sick. He moved over to the couch, falling back onto it.

“Okay.” Natasha nodded seriously at Sam before turning her attention to the young girl in his arms, smiling. “Hi hon. Why don’t you come with Auntie Nat?”

Natasha reached out her arms for the young girl and she immediately fell into them, grasping at the woman’s shirt and laying her head against her shoulder.

“I think she likes me better.” Nat joked to Sam who rolled his eyes in return.

“Don’t take it personally, Sam.” Bucky finally spoke up from his seat on the couch, hand over his eyes. “She likes her mom better... everyone likes her better.”

The two Avengers gave each other a look, silently communicating their concern for the super soldier in the other room. Although he had been known as the grump for a good expanse of time, they had never seen him so miserable or so lost in despair- even after spending eighty years as a brainwashed assassin.

“What’s your name?” Natasha asked the young girl, taking her tiny hand in hers.

“Becca.” She replied.

“It’s Rebecca.” Your son corrected her. “I’m Grant.”

She smiled patting the boy’s head. “Hi Grant. I’m Nat.”

“Grant?” Sam asked, glancing at Bucky. “Isn’t that Steve’s middle name?”

Hands still over his eyes, Bucky replied. “Yeah.”

A silence hung in the room for a brief moment.

“I um... I’m going to get these kids to the Compound, alright?” Nat said, guiding the children out the door. “I’ll be back soon.”

When Nat left the house, shutting the door behind her, Bucky sprung up from the couch. The only thing holding him back from rushing out the door was Sam stepping in front of him, laying his hands on his chest.

“Woah man- slow down.” Sam said.

“I have to go get my wife, Sam.” Bucky nearly shouted, throwing his hands up in the air. “Somebody took her! I have to get her.”

Sam felt his heart break in his chest to see his best friend so distraught in front of him. He understood- of course he understood. If anything like this had happened to his own family, he couldn’t say that he wouldn’t be doing the same thing, but Sam understood that despite Bucky’s feelings, nothing would get done without a clear mind.

“I understand that, Buck.” Sam said. “But you can’t help her if-”

“Somebody took her because of me, Sam!” He shouted. “This is all my fault! Don’t you see that?”

“Buck,” Sam attempted to ease him. “I know that, but she knew what she was getting into when she married you, man.”

At the sound of his words, Bucky allowed his hands to fall to his sides, the anger falling from his face as he looked down at the ground, ashamed.

Watching how quickly the rough exterior and fury had been drained from the man, Sam grew worried, backing up from Bucky.

“I mean- she knew, right?”

Silence.

“Buck...” Sam said slowly. “She knew... right?”

Silence.

“Bucky!” Sam shouted.

“I didn’t tell her!” Bucky finally shouted, shoving Sam away from him. “Are you happy? I didn’t fucking tell her about any of it!”

“Shit, Buck!” Sam shouted. “You lied to her! You lied to your own wife!”

“You don't think I know that?” Bucky continued to yell.

“Fuck!” Sam exclaimed. “How could you lie to your own wife about all of this!”

“I thought I was protecting to her!” Bucky replied.

“Yeah? Well look what you did!”

Bucky knew he was right. He knew this was partly his fault keeping this all a lie from you. It was wrong even before you had been kidnapped, but Sam pointing out the situation to him only reminded him further of how much he had completely and utterly fucked up.

Sam watched as the anger drained from Bucky’s face once again and he felt that he had gone too far. He was no doubt furious that Bucky had kept his life a lie not only from his team, but from his own family- hurting innocent people such as you along the way without even realizing it- but he understood that making Bucky feel like shit about it wasn’t the way to handle the situation.

“Buck-”

“Forget it, Sam.” Bucky said. “You’re right. You don’t have to apologize. This is my fault.”

“That doesn't matter now.” Sam said. “What matters is getting her back. We’re going to get her back.”

“You don’t have to do this for me, Sam-”

“I’m not doing this for you.” Sam sighed, shaking his head at who he thought was his best friend. “I’m doing this for her.”

-

When you woke up again, you were overwhelmed with the feeling of your right temple throbbing. Opening your eyes you took in the dingy, wide room surrounding you. Attempting to move, you felt the rope tying your hands and ankle to the chair you were sitting in, burning your skin as you struggled in its grasp.

“Hello?” You called, your voice echoing throughout the wide room. “Hello?”

“Mrs. Barnes.”

At the sound of the familiar voice you leaned back in your chair, just now noticing the balconies hanging over the room, your eyes catching the figure standing above you on one of them.

“Where am I?” You asked.

“Old S.H.I.E.L.D operations camp.” The man told you as he climbed down a flight of stairs from the balcony to the floor your chair was sat on.

“S.H.I.E.L.D?” You asked. “What does that have to do with me? What does any of this have to do with me?”

“You know, Mrs. Barnes,” He said, strolling up to you, hands behind his back. “I feel sorry for you... really... I do. I pity you for living in the lie your husband has held you in for so long... it’s sad really. However, you should consider yourself lucky to not know your husband. The rest of us aren’t so lucky.”

“What are you talking about?” You asked.

You were exhausted, cold, scared out of your mind and you were tired of not understanding a single word this man said.

“What does this have to do with my husband?” You asked, the memories of the conversation you had in your home flooding back into your mind. “Who’s the winter soldier?”

As you asked the question, the man finally moved his hands from around his back, a tablet in hand.

“As I’ve explained to you, Mrs. Barnes,” The man said, pulling up the tablet in front of him. “Your husband is the winter soldier. Your husband is James Buchanan Barnes, correct?”

“Yes,” You replied. “But I don’t see-”

Cutting you off, the man in front of you pulled the tablet up and began reading off of it.

“Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes born March 10th, 1917-”

“1917?” You repeated. “That’s ridiculous-”

Without answering, the man continued.

“Known associate of Steven G. Rogers AKA the former Captain America.”

“You have to be joking.” You said. “1917? Friends with Captain America? You have the wrong-”

Rather than arguing you, the man held the tablet in front of you.

Just as you were about to scoff and once again inform the man of how ridiculous this situation was and that there was no possible way your husband could be the man he was looking for, you looked at the screen and saw a photograph of a man that was unmistakably your husband besides none other than Steve Rogers...  a photograph from 1942.

Glancing at the man in front of you back to the photo, you began to feel the pace of your heart quicken in your chest. Why did he look like your husband? Why is this man who you immediately recognized as Bucky in a photograph with Captain America from over 80 years ago?

“That can’t be him.” You said. “It- it can’t.”

Swiping the screen, the man displayed another photo for you- one of who you were sure was your husband beside not only Steve Rogers but the entire lineup of Avengers.

Watching the realization click in your brain, the man continued to swipe, photos upon photos of the man who you thought was your husband dated from the 40′s to just months ago.

“How... how did you get these?” You asked the man, feeling sick to your stomach, slowly coming to the realization that your husband had been lying to you all this time.

“There are many out there who are not your husband’s friend.” The man said.

“O- okay, why?” You asked, trying your hardest to come up with words when your brain became flooded with thoughts and memories- trying to comprehend how you didn’t know or why your husband wouldn’t tell you even after all this time who he really was. “Because he’s an Avenger?-”

“Because he’s a murderer.”

Before you could even comprehend his words, he shoved the tablet in your face once again, clicking play on a video displayed on the screen. You watched as a man with long hair, a metal arm and a mask over his face emerged from behind a vehicle, a gun in tow. The man pulled a grenade out from his waistband, throwing it underneath a car and you jumped as you watched the car explode on screen, seconds later a woman pouncing onto the soldier, trying her hardest to take the man out before being thrown off. When the soldier picked up the gun once again, you recognized the woman as none other than Black Widow, throwing some sort of device at the soldier, watching as his arm sparked and she quickly ran away.

You watched as she shouted for the civilians to get out of the way and you felt your heart race in your chest as you watched people escape from their cars, terrified of the soldier going after the Black Widow. Seconds later you watched as she felt to the ground, a bullet piercing her shoulder. You felt like squeezing your eyes shut, but you knew the man beside you would never allow you to do so.

Just as the soldier was about to take his final shot against the Avenger, Steve Rogers and his shield ran into view, going against the man with the metal arm, the bang of his metal fist colliding with the shield ringing in your ears. The fight didn’t end there as the soldier continued shooting at the former Captain America before they collided, each trying to take the other out- Steve Rogers with his fist and shield and the soldier with his knife.

Just as you were beginning to feel sick, wondering why the man was showing you the video you watched as Steve Rogers flipped the man over, and when he emerged, the mask had fallen from the soldier’s face.

Meeting each other face to face, you finally caught who the soldier was.

It was almost as if they were reading your mind when you heard his name.

“Bucky?”

“Who the hell is Bucky?”

You couldn’t help but ask yourself the same question.