#The fact that Rei was even willing to put some of the blame on her kids' shoulders is disgusting | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

straybreeze · 3 years ago

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GX MONTH 2021

Day 1: “Hero Signal”

We’re kicking things off with everyone’s favorite hero Judai/Jaden Yuki’s birthday! Show the fluffy boi some love!

Yay, this is my very first time participating in a Tumblr event! Thank you @gxmonth for making this, I'm so excited!

I tried my best to include my OC as well, I hope it won't be too cringe lol.

Also, I would like to remark here, that I'm not a native English speaker, so if I made any grammatical errors or other mistakes, please let me know!

Word count: 2475

Pairing: implied spiritshipping

Warnings: slight angst

Happy, happy birthday Judai.

The sun was already high on the endless blue sky, showering the small apartment room in golden light when a big, orange and round thing pushed the door open with its head. The cat made his way through the mess and straight to the bed, where his owner was still sleeping. Confuting his own respectable weight, he jumped easily into the bed and snuggled up to the sleeping boy’s side, purring loudly. The quiet snoring suddenly stopped as the boy slowly opened his deep brown eyes, his hand automatically searching for the cat’s fluffy head.

“Let me sleep, Pharaoh! Just five more minutes!” Judai pleaded and covered his eyes with his free hand.

But it had been proven to be an unacceptable answer to Pharaoh. If he was hungry, nothing was an excuse for being late for breakfast. And in fact, it was almost lunchtime.

“Meow!”

However, Judai still didn’t seem willing to move, so he had to try harder.

“Ouch! Pharaoh, I know you are hungry, but I’m not your food! Don’t eat me!” Judai moaned as he sat up reluctantly. He squinted in the vivid lights, reaching the phone on the nightstand. The screen was showing 11 AM and the date below: 31th August.

31st August. The last day of summer. And his birthday.

Judai almost forgot about his nineteenth birthday. But to be honest, this day is going to be just like any other of the past week. He had nothing to do besides sitting at home and feeding Pharaoh occasionally. There was no real difference from what he did ever since he arrived from his last journey.

In fact, he was stuck in Domino City and had to stay there until he would eventually get a phone call from Chancellor Samejima. In the past one year of his life, an incoming call from his ex-headmaster meant one thing: a new job is on the sight. Not that Judai minded that. He loved travelling around the world and solving intriguing cases with his dueling skills. He didn’t continue his studies in a college, nor joined the Pro Leagues like his other friends. No, he just did the same as in his Academia years: slacking and occasionally saving the day. That is the duty of the heroes after all.

…And at least he could be useful in something as well.

Judai spent the last two weeks in this apartment, which he and Johan were renting together. In the first days, it wasn’t so hard to stay put, but Johan went on a holiday to his family in Sweden more than a week ago. He promised that he will get home before the end of summer, yet he messaged his roommate that he had to stay for a few more days. So in the end, Judai was left alone for his birthday.

Okay, not completely alone. At least Pharaoh was there for him, he thought as he strolled out to the kitchen to find some breakfast for his hungry cat. And for himself.

One year had already passed since they graduated from Duel Academia. A lot of things happened to everyone and it appeared that nobody had the time to greet Judai on his birthday. At least none of his friends told him that they would like to see him today. No missed calls, no unread messages yet.

Have they already forgotten him?

No, that was nonsense. They might be just… busy.

Sho and Manjoume have joined the Pro Leagues right after their graduation, so they were already living their restless life just like his other pro friends, Edo and Kaiser. Well, in his Academia years Judai already got used to that Edo is as much unavailable as the Emperor of Japan himself, but it appeared that Kaiser is that kind of celebrity too. Since he more or less recovered from his heart condition, he started a Cyber Pro League along with Sho and they both attended various events actively in the country and lately overseas too. Of course, Kaiser was told that he must not overstrain himself and stress too much in general, but Judai would bet that he disregarded all of those rules anyway. Especially because he hadn’t talked to him in months, so he must be busy as hell as always.

On the other hand, as far as Judai knew the Tenjoin siblings still lived in North America – Asuka was still studying in Duel College for sure while her brother, Fubuki-san was… doing something too, he assumed? Judai hadn’t heard much of them lately, but he knew that Fubuki-san followed his younger sister to chase his dreams and become an idol abroad. Judai didn’t know much about the school system of America, so Asuka might have classes at this very moment, maybe that’s why she hasn’t called him yet.

For his younger friends, Kenzan graduated from Duel Academia this summer, while Rei is going to start her last year in October. Maybe they are both on a vacation right now, enjoying themselves on a beach or something. It was still summer anyway, Judai couldn’t blame them for that.

And oh, there was Aurora, too. She was the roommate of Edo (and maybe his stepsister as well? Or something more? Who knows. She was a mystery anyway), who befriended him less than a year ago. Judai supposed she doesn’t even know that this day is his birthday.

After he gave some salmon flavored cat food and fresh water to Pharaoh, he decided to grab a bowl of cereal for breakfast and lunch at once.

As much he wanted to act like his birthday was nothing, if it was just like any other day, it made him hurt deep inside that nobody, even his closest friends haven’t paid attention to him on his day. He already got used to that his parents don’t care about him, but he thought he found a new family in his friends.

Maybe he was wrong.

But hey, it was him who abandoned them in the first place, Judai reminded himself. He was the one who left the Academia without saying goodbye and ran away from them straight to another country. He shouldn’t feel sad, because he knew that their friends would be estranged from him sooner or later. And he was the only one to blame.

Judai was so lost deep in his thoughts that he didn’t even realize that the milk was long overflowed the bowl and it was already spilling down the table. Pharaoh didn’t waste a single second: he leapt to the white liquid dripping from the edge of the table and licked it with such joy as if he had never tasted it before in his entire life.

“Dammit!” Judai moaned, then hastily wiped the milk off from the table and the parquet.

Oh well. He hadn’t been awake for ten whole minutes yet, but he already knew, birthday or no birthday, this was not going to be his day.

As the day continued, Judai climbed back to the bed and chose to do nothing today besides watching silly TV shows. He could have gone out at least for a walk, that’s true. He lived in Domino City after all, the city he loved the most. If you are a duelist, this is the best place for you in the entire world, especially if you live in downtown. The coast was not too far, Kaiba Land and other fun places were within easy reach too. But nothing was entertaining enough if you had no friends around.

“I feel like you’ve forgotten something,” Judai heard a familiar voice from all of a sudden. Slowly, the television screen became blurry as he was still staring at it, and a demonic shadow appeared at the end of his bed.

“Yubel,” he spoke their name aloud as he closed his eyes. “What did I forget?”

“Me,” came the obvious answer. “Why do you feel so lonely?”

“I’m not lonely. I’m just…” Judai began but then realized that the sentence had no continuation. “No, Yubel, everything’s good.”

“You sure?”

“Uh, yeah! I’m glad you’re here. It is enough for me.”

“You are a bad liar, Judai. You know that?”

“Hey, I mean it! I’m glad you are here, Yubel.”

“… I know.” Yubel smiled, gentler than it was imaginable from them. As they took a short break, their heterochromatic eyes curiously scanned the boy who was bound to them for an eternity. “But I still don’t understand, what is the matter with you?”

Judai didn’t answer their question. At least with words. He thought it was enough for an answer that he checked his phone every five minutes if someone messaged him already. But sadly, nobody had searched him so far.

It was already late afternoon when he finally heard the standard ringtone of his phone. He almost fell asleep again, and the vibrating sound made his heart pound in excitement. He immediately grabbed his phone, but when he checked the screen, he had mixed feelings.

The caller was Aurora, Edo’s roommate. And the last one who Judai thought would call him on his birthday.

“Hello, Rory! What up?” he greeted her, a soft smile unintentionally crossed his lips. But it had soon vanished when Aurora didn’t answer immediately. “Rory? Is something wrong?”

“Judai,” she spoke finally. Her usual melodic voice was trembling somewhat as if she was nervous. “I’m glad I could reach you!”

“Yeah, I mean, you could have totally called me all day! I had nothing to do, you know.” Maybe he shouldn’t have hinted things like these, but still.

“I see. Sorry, Judai, but may I ask you something?” Aurora’s voice still didn’t sound too firm.

“Sure, anytime!” Judai’s eyes sparkled at thought of the adventure. “But you’re fine, aren’t you?”

“Y-Yeah. I just… need to talk with someone. With you.”

“Really? Well, I’d gladly chat with you, but if you wanna talk about some… girlish thing, you know I’m not your man.”

“You will be completely fine. I wanna talk about something else, not girlish things.”

“Something happened with Edo maybe?” Judai guessed.

“Not at all! Ahw Judai, stop asking questions! I will tell you everything if I see you in person. So get ready and come!”

“Come where?”

“I’ll be waiting for you at the entrance of Kaiba Land in fifteen minutes.”

“Why there? You’re not even a duelist—„

“See you later, Judai!”

Before Judai could remark that he may not be there in fifteen minutes, Aurora had already hung up the phone. Surely, she became weirder and weirder. Maybe it was Edo who was a bad influence on her.

When Judai arrived at the said place, he was nearly jumping out of his skin. He was curious about what Aurora wanted to talk to him about, and at the same time, he was glad that he finally had a reason to leave the apartment.

Though it was still a bit unexpected that he would spend his birthday with Aurora, but why not? They were friends after all. He should have thought about her sooner.

“Judai!” Aurora shouted and waved him from the distance.

As he came closer, Aurora silently turned around and headed into the Park. It was almost sunset, the monstrous structures of Kaiba Land were glowing in orange.

“Okay, would you tell me now what are we doing here?” Judai asked while he barely could keep up with her.

“You will see, I promise!”

“Come on, Rory!”

“No worries, we are almost there!”

And that was all she told him, no matter how hard he tried to get more information. But the sparkle of hope ignited in his heart, that something bigger was standing behind this weird invitation.

Kaiba Land was slowly emptied out as the closing hour was coming, so they didn’t meet too many people. Especially as they got deeper and deeper into the amusement park.

They were nearby the rollercoaster when they finally stopped.

“Judai,” Aurora turned to him. “I know that this whole thing came from all of a sudden, and I’m so happy that you followed me without a question anyway.”

“Well, actually—”

“I hope you know that it means a lot to me. Not just me. To all of us.”

“What do you mean?”

“Judai, you have amazing friends. And you are the best among the best for all of them.”

“Rory, I’m not sure I understa—„

“SURPRISE!!”

Shouts were coming from everywhere, and suddenly a shadow of a whole crowd appeared in the dim lights of the setting sun. Before Judai could have the time to react, a short figure stood out from them and started running towards him.

“Happy birthday, Aniki!” Sho shrieked as he bumped into Judai and embraced him closely. Shortly after, he found himself surrounded by people. Surrounded by his friends.

“Happy birthday, Judai!”

“Judai-sama! I wish the bestest birthday in the world to you!”

“Nice to see you, loser! Where the hell have you been for this long?”

“Yeah, Judai, we were all waiting for you!”

“Happy birthday, Aniki-don!”

“Damn, I missed you so much!”

Everyone was there. Asuka and Rei. Manjoume, Fubuki-san and Kenzan. Sho was still holding onto him, almost crying.

“Hehe, surprise! I came back from Sweden today just because of your big day!”

Even Johan was there. He came home finally! Judai couldn’t help, but sudden warmth flowed through his body as Johan hugged him along with everyone else. Even Manjoume was in the crew.

“Hey guys, you flatter me…”

“See, Edo? We almost missed the group hug because of you.” Another familiar voice came from the distance, and when Judai glanced up, he saw Kaiser Ryo and Edo Phoenix’s silhouettes were approaching them.

“Don’t blame me because Kaiba Seto himself wanted to talk with me. But I assume you can still join the group hug if you’re really that desperate.”

When the pros reached the crew, they greeted Judai in unison.

“Happy birthday, Judai!”

“You two…”

“In fact, these two were the masterminds for this plan,” Aurora joined the celebration too. “Happiest birthday for you!”

With suppressed tears in his eyes, Judai looked around his friends. Yeah, Aurora had right. He had the best friends in the world and now he felt terrible guilt that he had ever questioned them. Yubel were right after all, for not understanding what was his problem. Now he didn’t understand too.

“Okay, who wants some cake?”

“WAIT, we have cake?” Judai asked in shock. How the hell did they bring it to here?

“Of course! I mean you have it, Judai,” Asuka corrected him.

Before Judai could shout in happiness, his phone started ringing again. To his surprise, Chancellor Samejima called him.

“Happy birthday, Judai! Are you ready for your next adventure?”

Judai couldn’t help but smile again.

“Ready as I’ll ever be!”

#gxmonth2021 #yugioh gx #ygo gx #yuki judai #jaden yuki #fanfiction tag

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logicalbookthief · 4 years ago

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I want to know what Rei was doing because even she admitted that Endeavor was not the only one at fault

Well, the short answer is that she was being coerced into having more children by a man she was pressured into marrying in the first place, and grappling with her own mental health at the same time her son’s was declining.

The longer, more thought-out opinion I have on the subject is that it’s complicated. Yes, Touya was her child and Rei was responsible for him, too. Could she have done more? I’m inclined to say maybe, probably, at least in some of the early years we saw in Ch 301. And by that I don’t mean “if she thought it was wrong, why didn’t she go against her husband?” because we know what happened when she intervened for Shouto and I don’t think escalating to physical abuse earlier would’ve lessened the family’s trauma or improved the situation any.

I’m thinking of something more along the lines of how she supported Shouto during his childhood. I don’t think it’s an accident she tells her youngest child “You aren’t bound by his blood” and encourages him to pursue a dream for his own reasons when he’s still so young and impressionable. I think she maybe recognized the mistakes made with her oldest, and I believe Touya would’ve also benefited from this kind of influence during his developmental years, which seem to have been dominated by his father. After all, we saw what a crucial impact her words had on Shouto during the Sports Festival. I think he could’ve used that assurance from her, but mostly from his father.

Just as we saw Touya’s mental health take a turn for the worse after Shouto’s birth and being “replaced,” we know that Rei’s does the same and especially after Shouto’s quirk manifests, which is when she ends up neglecting the rest of her children as a result; Natsuo confirms as much in the light novel. This is also where her husband begins to physically abuse her.

Not to mention that while Endeavor wanted a child who could surpass All Might and was more than willing to put his wife through pregnancies and births to get this, he wasn’t actively engaged in any of the childcare, particularly for the children who couldn’t meet his expectations. Touya was an only child for maybe the first year of his life, if that; Rei was essentially a single mother of 4 by the time he was eight-years-old and her attention was divided. Later when Shouto is separated from his siblings, this allows her to pay more attention to his individual care, yet even that was not enough to mitigate the rapid decline of her mental health.

All this to say is when Touya needed her most, Rei was not capable of providing that emotional support because she herself was at her lowest point, hence why Touya turns to his sibling for comfort. It is no coincidence that Rei has her breakdown and burns Shouto not long before Touya’s own “death.” They were on parallel tracks to self-destruction.

Just as Shouto has the right to have complex feelings towards his mother over this incident, Touya would be allowed to feel that toward his mother for looking away. Though from what we’ve seen so far, neither seem to harbor any resentment towards her. Both rest the blame where it most belongs and that is on Endeavor.

Because the fact of the matter is, Endeavor is the reason her children were under this physical and emotional stress AND the reason Rei was not in a state to provide support, because she herself was under immense physical and emotional stress because of Endeavor.

And while I don’t think it’s out-of-character or wrong for Rei to accept some responsibility in what happened to Touya, it suffers from the same issue of framing that I (and many others) have pointed out is the largest detriment to this storyline.

To have Rei admit to looking away is not inherently a problem. To have her admit this right after Endeavor only begins to realize his overwhelming role in his son’s self-destruction does the disservice of shifting some of that blame away from the man who is 100% responsible.

We should be able to discuss her feelings of guilt and grief without detracting any of that responsibility from him, and yet, many have taken this to mean they were equal partners in this tragedy, when the power balance was always tipped in Endeavor’s favor.

I’m sure Rei regrets any pain she inadvertently caused Touya through her inaction as much as she regrets the pain she inadvertently caused Shouto through her actions. But this would have fit better in a conversation with her children -- you know, the one we missed out on in Ch 298 -- or better yet have her say it to Touya directly, as that would read more like a moment of healing for their family, a start for mending her relationship with the son she thought she would never have a chance to see or apologize to again.

#bnha #rei todoroki #touya todoroki #bnha 301 #asks #I did have some thoughts on the posts I've seen about rei after this chapter #so thank you for the ask since I had the chance to gather them into an actual post

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shadowmaat · 4 years ago

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*cracks knuckles* OK, for this AU we’re heading for the sequels and addressing an issue head on that a large portion of fandom keeps trying to handwave away.

Luke still has his Jedi school, but he doesn’t have to go it alone. There are other Jedi out there although some, like Ahsoka, are infrequent visitors. Which is probably a good thing in Ahsoka’s case since she’s a bit anti-Jedi and is mostly checking in to see if any of Luke’s pupils have Fallen yet.

Since Luke does eventually talk to Din again and finds out more about Grogu’s situation he’s clued in to the fact that the Empire remnants are up to something particularly heinous. Between Luke, Din, and some of the other Jedi they manage to track down the research facility working to clone Palpatine and put an end to it. Boom, no more bullshit “somehow Palpatine has returned” nonsense.

Snoke is still out there somewhere, but with the balance of things shifted just a few degrees in a different direction, things don’t go according to plan. He amasses one remnant to his cause, but Hux Sr. is amassing another. We’ll say he picked up the pieces after Gideon’s defeat. Hux thinks he should be the one to be in charge and Snoke views him as merely a pawn. Somewhere in all the mutual backstabbing and sabotage, they manage to off each other, leaving Hux Jr. to inherit a legacy of violence and hate. He takes to it like a duck to water and amasses a cultlike following out of the combined remnants of the factions.

Meanwhile Ben grows up bored of hearing about the heroic deeds of his parents and various adoptive aunts and uncles. He slices his parents holonet so he can access the sites they’ve restricted him from seeing, which talk all about the glory of the Empire and the terrifying legend of Darth Vader. It’s all the truths his parents didn’t want him to know and he immerses himself in it. THIS is the piece of himself that’s been missing all along! It’s his destiny!

When his parents figure out what’s happening, they send him off to Luke for training. Luke never wavers in his belief that Ben will become a great Jedi, and is appalled to wake up one night to find his nephew trying to slaughter the other students. He tries to reason with Ben, who rails at him for “holding me back” and preventing him from achieving the greatness. No Snoke to blame this time, this is pure Rich White Boy Entitlement. Luke can’t go through with killing him and leaves him grievously wounded while he goes to tend to the survivors of the attempted massacre. He leaves a droid to help stabilize Ben and keep him sedated until he’s ready to deal with him.

Ben takes this as proof that he’s the superior Jedi, crushes the droid, and stomps off to recover with the Knights of Ren, whom Hux sent out on what he thought was a BS mission and was kinda hoping they wouldn’t come back.

Instead the Knights return with a sniveling tantrum baby and insist he’s the new Supreme Leader. Hux is having none of that, but his attempts to have Ben killed keep failing. Likewise Hux keeps surviving Ben’s attempts to kill him. They reach an uneasy accord since both of them agree that the universe needs to be subjugated, even if they disagree over who should be in charge.

The conscripted soldier program still happens. Rey still happens because fuck you, her parents were just a couple of nobodies. The war still happens, though most of the “darkness” spreading across the galaxy is the generic kind built of greed and lust of power. Ben isn’t the good little attack dog like Vader was, though; he takes his own interpretation of Hux’s orders and goes his own direction, usually making everything far worse in the process.

Leia and Han formally disown their son since there’s only so much genocide they’re willing to forgive. Luke admits he should have killed Ben when he had the chance, but he doesn’t slink off to the ass-end of nowhere, he stays to help his surviving students recover and calls in reinforcements from the Jedi remnants. He also stays to support his sister and his extended family, who need some stability right now.

Poe and Finn still meet. As do Finn and Rey. They still cross paths with Han and Chewie- and Luke- who were in the area looking for... some Jedi macguffin.

The situation is still bad, and possibly even a little worse since Ben has no leash to hold him back this time. There will never be a doubt in Rey’s mind that Ben is someone who needs to be annihilated for the good of the universe. Some people can’t be saved because they like what they’ve become.

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sperastella · 4 years ago

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For the Damerey prompts, if you still want them... Unexpected soulmates or bearing the marks of the others pain thing?

Hello lovely friend, thank you so much for the prompt! I hope you like this:

Finding your soulmate was supposed to be a joyous occasion, at least that was what Rey assumed from all stories she had read. Now, as Rey climbs the stairs toward his office, she feels nothing but dread.

Rey Andor’s soulmate, the one person perfect for her in the entire universe, was her Thermal Systems Design professor — Poe Dameron.

Also Available to Read on Ao3 »

Professor Dameron

Rey Andor was practically shaking when she arrived at Amidala Hall. She knew what she needed to do, but she wasn’t sure if she had the strength to do it. The truth had been weighing on her for the past three days until she could no longer ignore it.

She had found her soulmate.

The whole thing was a freak accident. Rey had been studying in the library for a test when she noticed him on a ladder reaching for a book on the top shelf. As if by some cosmic stroke of fate — which in hindsight is probably apropos given the circumstance — his shirt came untucked to expose a patch of skin just below his abs. That’s when she saw it: his soulmate mark.

For as long as she could remember, an identical copy of that very same mark greeted her every time she looked in the bathroom mirror. She recognized it instantly and knew exactly what it meant. They were soulmates.

Finding your soulmate was supposed to be a joyous occasion, at least that was what all she assumed from all stories she had read. Growing up in foster care, the idea of finding the one person specifically made for you in the universe, a billion-to-one shot for most, seemed too good to be true. Now, as Rey climbs the stairs toward his office, she feels nothing but dread.

Twenty-one years on this spinning rock, surviving Plutt, and graduating early from MIT to start her Master’s, none of it could have prepared her for this.

Rey Andor’s soulmate, the one person perfect for her in the entire universe, was her Thermal Systems Design professor — Poe Dameron.

Yep, It was a total disaster.

She had liked Professor Dameron (not like that, at least not until three days ago) from the moment he stepped into the classroom and began his first lecture by quoting Leonardo da Vinci: “Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Being willing is not enough; we must do.”

Professor Dameron was emphasizing his class was about more than just learning, his students would be expected to put those learnings into practice. He was the cool, young, wiz professor on campus who scored nearly perfect marks on ratemyprofessor.com

Now all she could do is wonder if her entire opinion of the man had been skewed. Did some part of her subconsciously know he was her soulmate this whole time?

Forget about it.

There was no point in rehashing the past. She was here to tell him. She had to tell him. Let the chips fall where they may afterward. Quite frankly, she wasn’t even sure what she wanted. Just because they were soulmates didn’t mean things magically happened once they found one another. As her adopted father Cassian would say, soulmates still need to put in the work. Of course, putting in the work is probably easier when soulmates are not teacher and student. She can’t even comprehend the social repudiation if anyone were to find out.

Rey pauses just outside his office to take a deep breath before finally knocking on his door.

“Come in,” calls a warm voice from the other side.

“Hello Professor Dameron,” greets Rey, trying desperately to keep her voice steady. “Do you have a few minutes?”

“Rey, yes, of course,” he smiles, standing up as she entered his small workspace. “That’s why we have office hours after all.”

“Thanks.”

“What can I do for you? Did you need help with something?”

She stands in the middle of his office, her arms fidgeting with the straps of her backpack as she tries to ignore the flutter in her stomach at the sight of him leaning against the desk waiting for her response. Had he always looked that handsome or was she only just noticing now?

Shit, this is already a disaster. Get it together girl.

“Um…” she stutters, closing the door behind them and setting down her backpack. The last thing she needed was an audience. “I was hoping to talk to you…”

“Okay,” he nods.

She nods in return. Her mouth even opens but no words come out.

“Rey, are you okay?”

“Yeah,” she blinks. “I just um...need to talk to you.”

“Right, you said that…”

“Yes, I uh...saw you the other day.”

Good, start with the facts.

“In the library.”

“Okay…”

He still looks confused and who could blame him. She wasn’t exactly making this easy. Admittedly, how the hell was she supposed to tell this man, who happens to be her professor, that they are soulmates?

“I uh...um.” Rey feels her face heat up as the idea forms in her head. It’s such a terrible idea, but the words are out of her mouth before she allows herself to think twice. “I need to show you something if that is okay?”

He tilts his head, still obviously very confused. “Yes, of course.”

Reaching down, she lifts up her shirt to expose her bare stomach and chest to him.

“Holy fuck Rey,” snaps Professor Dameron as his face goes beet red and he spins around to turn away from her. “Stop it. What the hell do you think you are doing?”

She slides half her bra up and cups her right breast in her hand, stretching out her stomach.

“I uh...need you to look at me.”

God this is such a bad idea. Why did she do this again?

“Absolutely not.” His back is still turned to her and his voice is raspy. “Do you have any idea how much trouble you can get us both in by pulling a stunt like this? What are you thinking? You need to leave, right now!”

“Please,” she whispers, trying desperately to keep it together long enough to get this over with. “Please...I...I can’t leave until you look at me.”

It takes a while, but Professor Dameron reluctantly turns around. His eyes stay averted for a few moments until they eventually find their destination: the small spot just at the underside of her right breast where her soulmate mark is located.

She watches his pupils expand as the realization hits him.

“Fuck,” he murmurs, practically tripping over himself.

“Yeah…” she chuckles, somehow managing a timid smile.

She watches his eyes and brain processing everything in real-time, likely all the same things she had spent the last three days having anxiety attacks over. After a few moments of silence, he takes two steps closer and reaches out with his hand until abruptly stopping halfway.

Rey nods wordlessly, giving him permission to continue.

Her stomach bottoms out when the tips of his fingers make content with her skin and gently trace over her soulmate mark. Their eyes stay locked on one another as he caresses the soft spot along the underside of her breast with his fingers. It’s a feeling like no other, and not in a sensual way (although it is also that), but rather one of total completeness. It warms her from head to toe and she can’t help it when she sighs happily into his touch.

“Shit,” he says, pulling his hand back. “I’m sorry...I shouldn’t have…”

“It’s okay,” she hums, blushing as she pulls down her shirt and notices the lack of space between them. “It was...nice.”

Professor Dameron equally flushes crimson and runs his hand along the back of his neck speechlessly.

“So um...what happens now?” she asks, ducking her head and tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

“I don’t know. Is...Is this something” — his eyes shift away uneasily for a moment — “Is this something you want to explore further?”

Rey takes a deep breath before answering.

“Yes...” She bites her lips. “And what about you?”

His chest rises heavily before he nods silently.

They stand facing one another for what feels like an eternity and Rey swears she catches his eyes dart down to her lips.

“I think you should go,” he announces eventually. “We can take it slow, figure out the rest later.” He gives her a nervous smile that she finds all too endearing.

“Take it slow,” Rey repeats, “Okay.”

Picking up her backpack, she heads to the door, but not before turning around.

“I’ll see you in class next week professor?”

“Poe.”

“Pardon?”

“If it’s just...us,” he stammers as his face once again turns crimson, “If it’s just us, I think you should call me Poe.”

Rey can’t help but also blush.

“Poe,” she whispers, nodding and leaving his office.

She smiles to herself, not needing to turn around to know he watches her walk all the way down the hall until finally turning out of sight.

#damerey #jedipilot #poe dameron #rey skywalker #fanfiction #soulmates #my fic

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damn-stark · 5 years ago

Text

Child of Ren Ch.17

A/N- FINAL CHAPTER!! I’m sad :( this series was an adventure!!

Warning- FLUFF, slight angst, long chapter.

Pairing- Poe Dameron x Reader x Rey, Ben solo x reader (platonic)

Takes place- after TROS

———

“Hey, Kid.”

You stay frozen in place, swallowing thickly as the familiar voice rings in your ears, you slide your eyes to meet Rey’s, as if looking for assurance that who you were hearing was actually there and not just in your head. She smiled and pulled away from you so you could turn around, but you were almost afraid to, as to not be disappointed if it weren’t real.

You let out a deep breath and stand to your feet, slowly turning around and trying to ignore the way your heart hammered in your chest. For a few seconds you kept your eyes on the floor, only seeing the soft blue light get closer until you finally saw a pair of boots stop before you. Your mind was still in heavy denial to who it was, to him actually being real and not just a figment of your imagination.

It’s not until you feel him cup your right cheek that you look up, gasping softly as you see his face, a soft smile on his features. You blink a couple times still trying to grasp the idea of him being here, even if his touch felt as real as Rey’s had been and as real it felt before he vanished. After months of trying to find him, he was here, finally here. It couldn’t be real—but it was. He was really here. Ben solo was really here.

“Ben.”

You voiced softly, tears rolling down your cheeks and a smile slowly tugging at your lips.

“I’m here.” Ben responded softly making you grin before you wrapped him in a tight hug and hiding your face in the crook of his neck, missing what Poe had whispered to Finn.

“What’s going on? Is she okay?” Finn quickly shushed Poe, and continued to be amazed by what he was seeing unfold before him.

Ben returned the hug with a firm hold, making it feel as real as if he were physically here and only making you not want to ever let go.

“Please don’t go. Stay, please.” You whispered while you parted far enough to see his face. Your mind still having a hard time grasping that he was here, even it was the same pair of brown eyes, same raven black hair man you knew for so long; “Th-their has to be a way to really get you back, something I-I missed.”

Ben cupped your cheek again and showed that same smile, slightly shaking his head, “I’m fine the way I am.”

You shook your head, “no you’re a ghost Ben. Because of me, please tell me what I have to do.”

“It wasn’t your fault, so stop blaming yourself, okay? I chose to save you and I would do it again without question.”

“But,” You cried, “I miss you, I can’t do this without you, please.”

He looked over your shoulder to see Rey, showing her a smile before he turned his attention back to you, saying and meaning every word, “I will be with you, always.” He paused to press a kiss on your forehead, “plus you have a great teacher, she’ll get you through this, and this won’t be the last you’ll see of me, I promise you.”

Their was a lot you needed to say, words you never told him before he disappeared, when he was actually here and not a ghost. Words that have repeated inside your head everyday, words that now you couldn’t even manage to say without sobbing and having them get stuck on the back of your throat. “Ben...”

“I know.” He smiled.

Again you pulled him in for a hug, one Rey joined into this time, something that once more Poe questioned. “What the hell is going on? I’m lost, someone please explain to me what’s happening?”

You pulled away from the hug and looked to Poe with a wide grin, “Ben’s here.”

“What? I don’t see him anywhere.” Poe’s eyebrows furrowed and only seemed more lost than before, not even believing Finn’s conformation to your statement.

“He’s really here, he’s a force ghost.”

Ben looked to Poe after completely breaking away from Rey and you, his gaze turning into a glare and his jaw clenching. He began to walk towards a clueless Poe, but before Ben could reach him you stopped him. “Please leave him alone.”

“I don’t want to hurt him. I just want to talk. That’s all.” Ben shrugged, before his eyes met your own, “just repeat what I want to tell him.”

“No.” You shook your head, shooting Poe a nervous smile and hearing Finn repeat everything that was happening regardless.

Ben stood quiet for a moment, debating what to do, eventually giving in to your decision and sighing loudly. He looked away from Poe and looked to baby Kes in his hovering pod before carefully making his way to him. At first you weren’t sure if the kid could even see Ben, but you then saw his brown eyes focus on Ben’s, a smile soon decorating his little features.

Ben didn’t say anything or do anything, he simply smiled and stroked the kids cheek before he turned back to you with the same smile. “It’s time for you to go home, little star. No more running off, okay?”

“Okay.” You nodded.

“I’ll be with you, always. Whenever you need to talk just reach out to me and I’ll be there.” He smiled one last time and just like he had appeared he disappeared. Only this time unlike the last, you were happy, you had finally seen him and were going to continue seeing him. You no longer felt your heart broken or had that feeling that you were missing something, it was finally complete, you finally had Ben back. You could be at peace and start something with Poe and Rey...well that was still something you needed to discuss with them, but nothing was holding you back from being truly happy.

“Let’s go home.” You beamed, whilst wrapping your arm around Poe’s shoulders.

Your friends looked to one another and couldn’t help but smile along with you, even if their was something important they needed to say. “Yeah, about that, where would that be exactly?” Poe questioned.

You shrugged, “As long as I have all of you I’m fine anywhere.”

Poe smiled and kissed the side your head, seconds later the both of you were wrapped in a tight group hug by Finn and Rey. You eased into the embrace, not being able to hold in the happy tears that rolled down your cheeks.

After trying so hard to remember the family you had lost, after feeling that you needed to know them to belong somewhere you knew that wasn’t true. Yes it would have been nice to remember all those lost memories, but in reality you didn’t need them, not when you could make new ones with the family you had now, in front of you.

Poe, Finn, Rey, baby Kes and Ben were the family you were always looking for.

—

The sound of the door sliding open and close pulls your attention towards it, seeing Poe enter with a mischievous smile on his face.

You quirk your eyebrow and question the sight of the missing child that was supposed to be with him, “Where did you put Kes?”

“He’s with Rey.” Poe takes his jacket off and mindlessly throws it on the chair in the corner of the room. “I was thinking that it’s been a long time since we’ve been together, and well I think it’s time for us to finally have some time alone.”

You smile while wrapping your arms around his neck and he wraps his around your waist. “Okay, but first I thought about it. What you proposed to me the other day in Ahch-To.” This time he’s the one that quirks his eyebrow, a flicker of unease in his gaze. Not because of what you were talking about but of the answer you might say. Nonetheless he lets you continue, “and yes. I want to start a life with you, baby Kes,”

Before you could finish he flashed a grin before going in for a kiss, something that pained you to break away from but you needed to finish saying the most important thing. “And”

“And?” His smile faltered, knowing this was taking a completely different turn.

“Rey.” You spoke nervously before completely breaking into a rambling mess, “I just love the both of you and well I-I can’t choose between you both. I talked to Rey and she said that she was willing to try it out, but if you don’t want to then I would understand, but...I can’t lose you.”

Poe stood quiet for a moment, his arms still glued to your waist but his eyes focused behind you. Just before you were going to follow up and ask what he thought, he turned back to you with a hopeful smile. “I’m willingly to try it out too because I can’t lose you either, and I really can’t picture my life without you. So if you want this then I want it too.”

You smile before pulling him in for a kiss, his smile clearly present through it, and this time you only pull away to say one more thing, “I love you Poe.”

“I love you y/n.”

—

Once you had been afraid of the darkness inside you, afraid of the monster you could become because of it, in fact for a while you did get lost in it, let that darkness take control. It left you alone, lost and afraid.

Afraid that you could never go back and get lost in it forever, and turn into who you always were afraid to turn. But it was never like that, it was like you had heard once in a dream, light will always find a way.

“Ready?” Rey questioned.

Your fingers gently graze over the hard material of the cracked Kylo Ren helmet, responding with a nod before placing the helmet on the pyre and lastly turning to Rey with a small smile. “Ready.”

Without an ounce of hesitation Rey moved the lit torch forward, letting the Pyre light with a burning orange and red fire. Something that engulfed the once Kylo Ren helmet in its flames, slowly melting the lightsaber that once belonged to The Child of Ren. Burning away every memory of who you used to be, of who Ben Solo used to be as well. Knowing that neither Ren would ever live again.

It had been a difficult journey to fight the darkness that had once controlled you, but Rey was there throughout it all, she helped you fight it and truly see the light once and for all.

While watching the dancing flames in front of you burn away every memory, Rey reached to grab your hand, giving it a comforting squeeze before the both of you turned to meet each other’s gaze. The light of the fire reflecting a smile that matched her own.

“Let’s go.” Rey quietly encouraged, before she led the way back to the ship where Poe and a now one year old Kes waited for you both to return. Before you could reach them Rey let go of your hand and stopped in her tracks, looking somewhere in the distance before her eyes focused back on you.

“You okay?” You wondered.

Rey nodded and smiled, “yeah go ahead, I’ll be right there.” You responded with a simple nod before continuing forward and meeting up with Poe and Kes who was on Poe’s shoulders. Not noticing where Rey had gone and who she had met up with not that far away.

“She’s going to be okay.” Rey assured Ben.

Ben watched as you met up with Poe and Kes, a joyful grin on your face as the little curly headed kid giggled as he pointed to a blue butterfly flying past him.

“I know.” Ben smiled.

——

(Years later)

Carefully you turn the corner and walk towards the soft sobbing sounds until you finally locate the little girl that they came from. When she notices you walk towards her she tries to wipe her tears, but it was far too late for that and you weren’t going to ignore it. So you take seat next to her on the ground and ask the inevitable.

“What’s wrong?”

The little girl shakes her head and wipes her runny nose with her sleeve and tries to avoid looking at you. “Nothing.”

“Hmm,” You gnaw on your bottom lip and nod in comprehension, even if you didn’t believe what she claimed at all, but instead of urging her right away you pat for her to sit in front of you. The little girl does so with her back towards you and remains quiet, just an occasional sniffle.

You follow by gently grabbing a strand of her dark red hair and interlacing it with another. “Tilt your head up.” The little girl does so and continues to say nothing, but you take this time to ask again, “can you tell me what’s wrong now?”

The little girl hesitates but after a minute of silence she speaks up quietly and unsure, “this boy from the academy....he,” she paused and hesitated, but ultimately decided to continue, “he was making fun of me. He said that no one loved me, and that mommy Rey and you only adopted me because you felt bad for me.”

You instantly stop what you’re doing and turn her to face you, noticing her little pout and her eyes glassy from the tears that threatened to fall again. “You listen to me Aster Skywalker,” you cup her cheeks and continue, “you don’t listen to anything they say. Okay? I love you so much. So does mommy Rey and dad. We adopted you because we didn’t want you to suffer through what mommy Rey and I went through. We had so much love that we wanted to share it with you.”

Aster still pouts and looks down saying, “I don’t even know why I come to this school, I can’t even use the force like Kes or Shara.”

“Having the ability to use the force doesn’t deem you great. You’re great with or without. Don’t forget that.”

Aster smiles and wraps you in a hug, following by whispering in your ear, “did Kes punch the boy in the face?”

You sigh, “yes he did.” Pulling said boy from the fight was the reason why you found out about Aster hiding—Aster squeals in excitement and pulls away, showing her smile. You shake your head before turning her around to finish the braid.

After a few minutes of silence she asks another question, “who taught you how to braid hair?”

You smile at the thought of your response, “Ben did.”

—

If had taken a couple years to build the school you were in, mostly because Poe and Rey were busy rebuilding the galaxy after the war. And then after it got difficult because of the five kids of your own you had to raise. As hard it was you were happy how it all turned out, happy that Poe and you had that life you wanted, happy that this relationship with him and Rey worked. Even with its difficulties it worked out. All the pain and trauma from before was nothing but a story now.

“Okay choose a story.” Poe randomly points to Shara with a smile.

She thinks for a moment but once she chooses she grins and answers, “the one where you met mom.”

“I love that one!” Hoku speaks up.

“Okay fine,” Poe clears his throat and flashes you grin, “I met her when I saved her from this giant one eyed creature,” he voices the last words in a loud deep voice whilst grabbing the little boy next to him in failed attempts to scare him. Just as he was going to continue, Aster interrupts.

“That’s not how that goes.”

“Yeah, that’s not how it goes.” You repeat with a smirk.

Kes jumps up and gets closer around the fire, flashing a smile to his brother next to him, “I’ll tell it. Ben loves this story because dad gets knocked to the ground by mom, he tells it to me all the time.”

Poe scoffs at the mention, but listens nonetheless, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and pulling you to him.

Kes starts with a smile, “It’s starts when...”

A/N- it’s over!! Thank you everyone for reading, liking, commenting and reblogging!! I love every single one of you!! Thank you! thank you! Also also do you guys want a character study? It would also provide more info on the kids!! Let me know!!

(Here something I made! Don’t judge my crappy photoshops skills...anyway it’s Poe, Rey, baby Kes and BB8)

Tagged- @jennibradley , @xxrouge-lexxx , @danicalifxrnia, @tweedlydumbtweedlydoo , @star-marvel-fangirl , @leilei-draws , @briesangel @lanatheawesome , @madamepsicose, @constantdisgrace , @1-800-depressedlesbian, @commondazy , @logiclies , @robindoesntloveme , @we-all-are-strange , @fandom-addict-aesthetics , @seninjakitey , @sarablog10 , @natalia-helena-alianova-romanov, @yodaboo , @starpheric , @gummy-bears16 , @abysshaven , @the-illusionary , @danas-wonderland

Permanent taglist- @ms-dont-care

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fireinmoonshot · 5 years ago

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CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR THE RISE OF SKYWALKER.

PART ONE | PART TWO | PART THREE | PART FOUR | PART FIVE | PART SIX | PART SEVEN | PART EIGHT | PART NINE | PART TEN | PART ELEVEN Summary: Armitage Hux finds himself strangely fascinated by you, a Resistance fighter and pilot, even though he knows he shouldn’t. You know that there’s much more to him than you see on the surface. Pairing: female!Reader x Armitage Hux Fandom: Star Wars Word Count: 1936 Warnings: THE RISE OF SKYWALKER SPOILERS A/N: I promised I wouldn’t make you wait too long for Part Twelve, but this part was really strangely hard to write, which also explains why it’s so short. But there is also a point in making it so short as I do want it to just read as a snippet of time, as that’s what it is, and a part of time where Armitage and Reader are just sort of... floating in their uncertainties. And then things will start getting on track in the next part for a finale in the next three-four chapters! Anyway, sorry for the wait and I hope you enjoy it! Read it on Ao3 here.

It’s ironic.

The fact that, when you both leave Arkanis, it’s not raining. That there’s a hint of sun on the horizon, and you’re flying away from it. Both of you sat in silence, both of you wanting to say things but not knowing what to say. There have been a million possibilities in mind over the past few hours, but none of them seem right.

You can count the times that you’ve spoken to each other since on one hand.

He hadn’t joined you yesterday, on your final day on Arkanis. He’d chosen to explore – or so he said. For all you know, he could have stayed on the ship all day. You’d been busy back at the markets, making a list of contacts that you could hand over to Poe when you got back.

And then there was the matter of Poe.

You hadn’t left on good terms. You’d left with Poe being wary of Armitage, and you defending him – and now you’re returning barely on speaking terms with Armitage himself. It’s a strange, uncomfortable full circle and you’re not looking forward to the confrontation that’s inevitable when you touch back down on Ajan Kloss.

When you settle into hyperspace, Armitage excuses himself from the cockpit, and you wonder, ever so briefly, if possibly Rey and Poe had been somewhat right all along.

–

Armitage exits the ship before you do, his bag over his shoulder and a slight scowl on his face. He leaves you to pack everything else up, of which there luckily isn’t too much, and you’re half way through doing so when Poe appears behind you, arms crossed.

You assume he’s seen Armitage, then.

“How was your trip?” He asks, a little smugly.

You fix him with a glare. “If you’ve come in here to gloat, I’d really rather you not, Poe. I don’t know what Armitage has told you, but it’s really a lot more complicated than you’re obviously assuming right now.”

Poe furrows his eyebrows. His cheeky mood is gone. “Armitage hasn’t told me anything. I just saw him go, and you didn’t follow. Did something happen?” He’s feeling protective – you can hear it in his voice.

“Do you want me to admit that you told me so? Is that why you’re here?”

He scoffs. “No, I don’t. I’m asking you earnestly. What happened?”

For the first time, you stop what you’re doing and stand up straight. You look him in the eyes and are surprised to find actual, genuine concern in them. But his comments from before are still whirring in your mind, and he’s not the right person to confess everything to. You can’t confess things to someone who might throw it all back in your face later, and so you settle for the next option.

“Is Rey back?��

Poe gives you a look. “Yeah, she’s in the Falcon. Are you going to tell me–“

“No.” You speak simply. “Because honestly, I’m not sure what happened myself.”

You smile weakly at him and hang your bag over your shoulder before you exit the ship yourself. You don’t even contemplate stopping by your quarters as you leave. Your first and only port of call is the Millennium Falcon and Rey. Because if anyone is going to have any kind of advice… you hope it’s her.

–

Rey looks at you with no judgment in her eyes, and it’s exactly what you were hoping to get from her. That’s not what you need right now, judgment. You need understanding. You need to be able to understand what happened yourself, and with Rey being the only other person on Ajan Kloss who had truly had a connection with someone in the First Order other than you, the two of you had created your own bond. Her relationship with Kylo Ren, or Ben, as she often referred to him, was entirely different than yours with Armitage, but you’d found similarities.

“You never tried to talk to him about it?”

“When I did, he shut it down. I don’t want to push him. It’s not fair on him.”

She gives you an unimpressed look. “It’s not fair on you, either.”

You shrug a shoulder and slump down a little in your chair on the Falcon. It had been easier to stay and talk here, because you knew nobody would overhear you. Armitage is… well, you have no idea where he is, but he isn’t anywhere close, and that helps with confessing everything. Everything you’re sure of, anyway.

“I think I just need to give him a bit of space. It’s only been – what, two days? He probably just needs some time to figure out his mind. And even if we never talk about what could have happened… he’s a friend, you know? We all need to come together right now, not split apart. I can’t handle truly losing a friendship… not after Leia.”

Rey reaches over and wraps an arm around your shoulders. “Don’t beat yourself up for what did or didn’t happen. Things will sort themselves out. I trust that. And you should trust that too.”

You give her a small smile. “I’m really glad I didn’t beat you back to Ajan Kloss. What would I have done if I arrived here and needed advice and you weren’t here to give it?”

She laughs a little at that. “I think you probably would have found Rose instead.”

“Speaking of Rose, you wouldn’t happen to know where she is, would you?”

Rey nods. “Last time I saw her she was talking to Beaumont by Leia’s ship. Why?”

“Us girls, we need to stick together.”

That was more important now than ever.

–

Armitage, as soon as he steps inside your quarters, lets out a long breath of air and buries his head in his hands. He’s ruined everything. He can’t even look at you properly anymore, and any life he felt he was starting to form here on Ajan Kloss may as well be a mere memory in his mind.

He allows himself to wonder, briefly, how different things could be if you hadn’t been interrupted that night. Or if you’d still be mad at him – because you had to be. You had to be ashamed of his actions, of his lapse in judgment. He’d never felt a feeling quite like the one he felt with you that night, and he’d been silly enough to actually try and follow it. He hadn’t known not to.

He sighs and looks down at his makeshift bed, still on the floor of his quarters, and then moves to dismantle it. He can’t sleep here anymore. He’ll find alternate quarters. But he won’t put you through dealing with his company any longer.

He ensures that he picks up his old First Order uniform, and then he leaves your quarters, blankets and pillow in hand, too, intending to find a new place to sleep. A place where he could try his best to move on.

–

You see Armitage again for the first time all day at dinner that night. He’s sitting alone, eating at the very opposite end of the tables that have been set up for you all, and you’re sitting with Rey and Rose. You’ve never wanted anything more than to walk over and sit with him.

But he probably wouldn’t be very happy with that if you did.

Rose notices you staring. “You’re just torturing yourself, you know that? Why don’t you just go and try to talk to him if you’re just going to stare at him anyway? He can probably feel your eyes burning a hole in the side of his head.”

You tear your gaze away from Armitage and back to Rose. “No, I’m giving him space.”

“Then actually give him the space and stop staring,” Rose hums. “I could really use your help tomorrow. We’re packing up a bunch of old files and taking them out to be properly archived. There are more there than we realised.”

It doesn’t take long for you to agree to help. Especially because you know it’ll help to get your mind off of Armitage, at least for a little while. And that’s what you need right now – Rose is right. You’re giving him space, and you need to follow through on that.

For the rest of dinner, you mostly play with your food rather than eat it. But you are happy to be home, since Ajan Kloss seems to be more of a home than anywhere else, even Arkanis, nowadays. You’d managed to find a good thing on Arkanis in the locals that were willing to talk to you, despite being thrown out of the bar, but many of your good memories had been marred by the incident with Armitage.

You can’t blame yourself for wanting to get back into the swing of things on Ajan Kloss sooner rather than later.

But it’s an entire accident when you run into Armitage while taking your plate up to be emptied and washed. He’s standing right beside you and for a second, you don’t even realise it. Rey and Rose are staring at the both of you from afar, wondering if they should intervene, when Armitage suddenly speaks.

“I should tell you that I’ve removed my belongings from your quarters and moved them into my own,” he starts, and you feel like your heart is in your throat. “With people leaving, there are quite a few spare now. I should have moved out sooner.”

You hadn’t even thought about that. About Armitage sharing your quarters, and you do your best to ignore the sting of disappointment at his confession. “Right, well… if that’s what you want, I won’t argue.”

He nods. “It is what I want.”

You nearly flinch at the harshness in his voice. But something else pushes you to reply – even though nearly everything in you is telling you to just walk away before things get ugly. It might be the way he speaks with you now in such a dismissive way, or it might be something else entirely, but your idea of giving him space just… isn’t going to work if he’s going to act so strangely with you in the times you do run into each other and find yourselves unable to help it.

“Listen, Armitage,” you turn to face him, and he meets your eyes for a second before turning to stare down at his feet. “I don’t know what happened on Arkanis. But I want you to know I’m not mad at you. I just– I’d really like it if we could be friends, or at least something similar to friends. I can’t take anymore heartbreak right now, not after losing Leia, not after Snap or any of the other pilots and friends I lost in that attack on Exegol.”

You hold out a hand towards him.

“What do you say? Friends?”

And he places his hand in yours.

–

Rose and Rey look at you strangely as you sit back down at their table.

“I’m guessing you saw all of that?” You ask, with a small smile.

“Uh, yes,” Rose nods. She turns and glances at where Armitage is still standing, emptying off his plate where you’d left him. She shakes her head, slightly amused, and then turns back around to look at you. “You like him.”

You furrow your eyebrows. “Of course I like him. We’re friends, despite everything that didn’t happen on Arkanis. We just agreed to be friends again. I like you and you’re my friends.”

Rose and Rey share a small look, and they slowly start to smile.

–

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almost-jack · 4 years ago

Text

It’s official. I’m a filthy, Jack-simping fuck monster. Chapter 15 is out and it is a smut bucket.

I just posted the smuttiest chapter that I’ve ever written for public consumption. It doesn’t even really require context (other than basic Borderlands 2 knowledge) to read because it is pure FILTH. I’m pretty proud.

Please enjoy and either leave me a comment here or on AO3 (guest comments and kudos welcome) or wash your eyeballs, depending on how you feel about it.

This chapter on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27921886/chapters/69799560

Or read below:

Chapter 15 : More Than He Bargained For

Summary: Axton willingly puts himself in Jack’s way and gets fucked. Hard. Oof.

Notes:

Forgive me lord, for I have sinned, but so help me god, I'll fucking do it again. And again. And again...

Thinkin' about changing the fic's title to "The Lion's Den". What do you guys think?

*Warning: Uhhhh....Axton might take a bit of a beating with some mild non-con mixed in there. He likes some it, though. *shrug*

The tower was just a short walk from the bar and the pair was entering the massive living room of the VIP suite within minutes. Rei retrieved a bottle of Jack’s fancy champagne and poured three glasses, setting one down on an end table to wait for Jack, then she sat down on an ornate couch with gold upholstery and patted the seat next to her. Axton joined her, staring around at the lavish, ostentatious suite.

“Wow, this place is uh…”

“Excessive? Yeah, I know. Jack’s aesthetic is something along the lines of, “You can’t afford this,” and, “Is there enough black leather in here?”” she said, laughing.

“Well, you can never have enough black leather, darlin’,” said Axton, reaching out and stroking her cheek.

He leaned in and caught her lips with his own, kissing her firmly, yet gently. Without breaking the kiss, he threw a knee up onto the couch and began crawling forward, crowding her back against the armrest until he was straddling her. Rei ran her hands up his chest, feeling something cold and metallic hanging from his neck. She pulled away to look at the rectangular tags in her hand. Dog tags, and for some reason, a wedding ring. Rei knew better than to ask why.

“A soldier, eh? Your battalion isn’t going to be happy about you fraternizing with Handsome Jack and friends, you know.”

“Don’t have a battalion anymore, I was discharged a while back. I’m a mercenary now, honey. A vault hunter, in fact.”

“You’re a…what?” she said, taken aback.

“He’s a vault hunter. Well, he was a vault hunter. For me,” growled a voice from across the room.

Jack was leaning in the doorway of the suite, arms crossed, brows furrowed in a thunderous scowl. He strode over behind the couch, gripping the edge of the headrest with white knuckles, looming over the pair. Then he sighed, screwing his eyes shut and rubbing his temple.

“Kitten…why? Why do you do this shit to me? It’s like you’re trying to get us both killed.”

“Jack…I don’t understand…”

“I hired this joker as a vault hunter and then tried to kill him. Did you forget that part, Axie? The part where I wanted you dead?”

“Nope, I remember. Crazy bus explosion. Lotta fun,” said Axton, sitting up. Rei slid out from under him and began backing away from the couch, feeling the weight of the grave error she had made.

“So why the hell are you here? Do you need to get fucked by Handsome Jack so badly that you’re willing to risk your life for it? I can’t blame you, but…pretty stupid move, kiddo,” snarled Jack.

“What if that’s exactly why I’m here? Is that so hard to believe?” asked Axton, pouting up at him playfully.

Jack grabbed the burly man by the hair and bent his head back at a painful angle. Axton grimaced but remained still. Jack leaned down so his face was mere inches away, staring at the man in his grasp with fire in his eyes. Rei had seen that expression before, and, although she knew this was about to take an unfortunate turn for Axton, she couldn’t help but feel excited for what was to come. When Jack was at his worst, he always fucked her the best.

Rei sauntered over to the armrest next to Jack and sat, looking quizzically down at Axton.

“I don’t think we believe him, do we, J?” she drawled lazily.

“No, I don’t believe we do. So why don’t you tell us why you’re really here, cupcake?” hissed Jack through clenched teeth.

“Fine, fine, I might have been paid to keep an eye on you two. Uh, do you mind?” he grunted, trying to jerk his head out of Jack’s grip. Jack released him, drawing his pistol and pointing it at Axton’s head instead.

“Well that’s not much better…” mumbled the soldier.

“Who are you working for? I want answers, now,” snarled Jack.

“No can do, big guy. I gave you as much of an answer as you’re gonna get. The rest is classified.”

“Maybe you should fuck it out of him, J.” said Rei, examining her shimmery, black nails disinterestedly.

“Kitten, you always have the best ideas!” crowed Jack, his scowl morphing into a wolfish grin. He tossed her his gun. “Watch him for a minute.” He turned and left the room.

“That was pretty dirty trick, soldier boy,” she said in a low, ominous voice, cocking the gun and aiming between Axton’s eyes.

“I wasn’t trying to trick anyone, just saw an opportunity for some fun on the job and I took it,” he said, shrugging out of his jacket and throwing it over the back of the couch.

“Jack is almost certainly going to kill you once he’s done. Why would you risk that?”

“Ah, darlin’, you underestimate me. I wasn’t a commando for all those years because I’m bad surviving dangerous situations. Jack doesn’t scare me. Also… I wanted to spend a little time with Jack’s girl. See what makes you tick. See if you’re a threat. See…what you have on under that dress,” he said with an impish grin, eyes twinkling up at her.

“Well, you might just get some of what you wanted…and a whole lot you didn’t,” she said, smiling sweetly back.

“Ok kiddos, time for some fun!” announced Jack gleefully, returning to the couch and slipping his gun back into its holster. He held a jumble of straps and chains. Jack separated the tangled items in his hands and flipped a black leather gag over to Rei. “You get his mouth, I’ll get his wrists,” he said, giving Axton a hard shove to the back, forcing him face down on the couch.

Jack yanked Axton’s arms behind him, clinking a pair of thick metal handcuffs around his wrists so quickly that the soldier barely had time to react. Rei snickered at them as she undid the buckle on the gag.

“Yeah, I don’t know about the gag, darli-nghhh!” protested Axton as she stuffed the leather strap in his mouth and fastened it around his head.

“You wanted to see what I have on under my dress, right? Be a good boy and I’ll show you.”

“Oh he said that, did he? Cheeky little bastard,” chuckled Jack, unbuckling his belt. “Kitten, why don’t you come over here and get this party started, hmm? You’re in for a real treat, Axie. Getting to watch my kitten blow me is a real privilege.”

Jack pulled Axton upright by the back of his shirt and plopped down next to him, throwing an arm over his shoulders. He hooked a finger under the chain of the soldier’s dog tags and toyed with it gently, giving him a devilish grin. Rei knelt between Jack’s legs a shoved his pants down, mouthing at the exposed skin of his upper thighs.

“Hmm, I think I have another good idea,” she said softly, pulling a small baggie of purple powder out of her bra.

“Oh you just keep that Eridium concentrate stashed on you at all times, eh, kitten?”

“This stuff is close to my heart. Literally,” she giggled.

She poured a trail of powder down Jack’s thigh and snorted it in one fluid motion. She then tapped a line onto the back of her hand, holding it out to Jack, who sniffed it up appreciatively. He threw back his head and sighed happily, then turned to Axton, positively beaming, and clapped him on the back.

“Holy hell, kiddo. Looks like I’m gonna be fucking you all night long,” he purred in Axton’s ear, pulling himself out of his pants and giving his near instant erection a few assisting strokes.

Rei licked the tip of his cock and Jack’s hand dropped to his side, letting her take over. She sank down on his member, almost to the hilt, making him groan loudly at the hot silkiness of her mouth and her tongue ring gliding over his shaft. She lazily dragged her tongue back up to his cockhead and sucked gently, stroking his slit with the tip of her tongue. Then she picked up her pace and began bobbing her head while pumping his length with a firm grip, getting faster and sloppier with every passing minute. Jack let out another low moan and dug his fingers into Axton’s shoulder with the hand that was still dangling carelessly over it.

“Oh, fuck, kitten. Take it easy, our friend is still waiting for a turn on my dick.”

“I think it’s only fair that I get first dibs, I found him after all. And since I won, shouldn’t I be calling the shots?” she said, sitting back on her heels and wiping her mouth.

Jack raised his eyebrows at her. “Oh yeah, doll? Hey, if that’s what you want…” He shrugged. “That ok with you, buddy?” he said, hooking his arm around Axton’s neck and pulling his head into his chest.

“Mmmph,” came his unintelligible reply. The look on his face was something akin to curiosity with a hint of apprehension, probably at the prospect of being subjected to whatever insane things these two cartoonish villains could think up.

Jack laughed derisively. “Like it even matters what you want at this point, kiddo.”

“Bedroom. Let’s go,” said Rei, snapping her fingers at the two of them.

“You heard that hot little piece of ass, up you get,” said Jack, dragging Axton to his feet and pushing him down the hall.

They followed Rei into the bedroom, Jack hauling Axton onto the bed with him while she waited at the foot, arms crossed. Jack threw an arm over Axton’s shoulders once again, watching her intently. Once she had their full attention, Rei slowly, almost teasingly, unzipped her dress. She let it slide off her body and pool at her feet, revealing black, lacey lingerie with yellow stitching. She bent to remove her silver pumps, but Jack cleared his throat insistently. She stopped and put her hands on her hips, cocking them to one side.

“What?” she said sharply.

“Do me a favor kitten…uhh, boss-kitten…. Leave ‘em on? Please? For daddy?” he pleaded, sticking out his lower lip.

Rei rolled her eyes but couldn’t suppress a crooked smile. “Fine,” she said climbing up onto the bed and crawling towards them, catlike. She knelt between Axton’s legs and reached behind his head to unfasten the gag.

“The hell are you doing that for? I don’t wanna hear this guy complain all night,” whined Jack.

“He’ll be too busy putting that mouth to work to complain, don’t you worry. Isn’t that right, soldier boy?” she purred, grabbing Axton’s chin and stroking his lower lip with her thumb.

“Mmhmm, whatever you want, darlin’, as long as I get to touch you,” he murmured, his eyes raking over her body hungrily.

Rei smacked his cheek lightly, but firmly. “You don’t get to make demands. The cuffs stay on. Trade places with me.”

Axton awkwardly shifted onto his knees and shuffled out of Rei’s way as she took his spot next to Jack.

“Sit right there, lover boy,” she snapped her fingers at him and pointed between her legs.

He quickly obeyed, keeping his head low to avoid letting the pair see his pleased grin. Rei hooked a leg over his shoulder, pressing into his back with the sharp stiletto of her shoe.

“Down.”

He bent slowly and began kissing a trail up her thigh, nipping at her thong when he reached her pubic bone. He looked up at her and raised an eyebrow questioningly. She gave him a nod and he pulled the garment down with his teeth, tenuously inching it down her legs.

“Lemme help you with that, kiddo,” said Jack lazily, shrugging out of his jacket. He fished around in his pants pocket and produced a switchblade, flipped it open, and hooked it under the waistband of Rei’s panties. Before she could protest, Jack had severed both sides with a flick of his wrist.

“Jack! I liked those!” she hissed in irritation.

“So I’ll buy you another pair,” he murmured, pocketing the knife and kissing his way up her neck before enveloping her mouth. Their lips moved against each other languidly, tongues intertwining, hands tangled in each other’s hair.

Suddenly Rei broke away, moaning wantonly with her eyes screwed shut as she felt Axton’s mouth descend upon the heat between her legs. He lapped at her folds eagerly, dragging his tongue up to swirl around her clit, then back down to dip into her now dripping entrance, kissing and sucking every part of her along the way. After short while, Rei felt the weight of the bed abruptly shift, then heard the creak of a drawer opening. The weight shifted back and Axton cried out, jerking his head up. Rei whined at the loss of contact and sat up on her elbows to see what was the matter.

“Hey, man, are you serious?! You can’t put that on me!” complained Axton, trying to shake off Jack’s grip around his neck.

In the hand that wasn’t clenched around the back of Axton’s neck, Jack held a black leather collar (a plainer version of the one he had given Rei) connected to a chain-link leash. Rei laughed. Jack definitely had an aesthetic, and that was black leather absolutely everywhere. She sat up and folded her legs under her, reaching down to grab Axton’s face and still him.

“Cooperate, or the gag goes back on,” said Rei silkily.

She clenched his jaw in her palm while simultaneously stroking his cheek with her thumb, as though making both a threat and a titillating promise. He huffed in annoyance but slumped down, dropping his head into her lap and allowing Jack to collar him.

“Good boy,” she praised, stroking his hair.

“Thanks, kitten. So can I have a go at him now, or what? Don’t leave me hanging, here,” said Jack impatiently, gesturing towards his ever present, Eridium enhanced erection, still bobbing out of his open fly.

“Aww, you feeling neglected, J? Sure, have at him,” she cooed, crawling over to where Jack knelt behind Axton and sitting up on her knees to nuzzle and nip at his neck.

Jack wound the leash around his hand, curling it into a fist, and when it was short enough, gave it an experimental yank. Axton jerked backward and sputtered, almost losing his balance and toppling back into Jack’s lap. Jack smirked maliciously, the fire still glinting in his eyes.

“Ok, pumpkin. Let’s see what you’re made of,” he said, his voice low and dangerous.

“I, uh… I mean, it’s not my first time at the rodeo, but uh... Don’t go too hard on me, ok?” said Axton, nervously eyeing Jack’s impressively sized cock.

“We’ll see.”

“That means there’s no fuckin’ chance” Rei whispered in Axton’s ear, undoing his belt and pulling down his fly.

She giggled and smacked his ass, urging him up onto his knees while she pulled his pants and boxer briefs down, before unbuttoning his shirt and sliding it down to his elbows. Jack was busily pulling off Axton’s shoes and kicking off his own, then yanking off his vest and shirt without undoing all the buttons. He reached over to the already open drawer beside the bed and pulled out a bottle of lube, slicking up his throbbing erection, and hungrily descending on Axton, forcing his chest down into the bed with a thud. He pressed a hand to his back and held him there while he adjusted Axton’s hips and slid his pants the rest of the way off. Jack began to teasingly press his achingly hard cock between Axton’s cheeks.

“Aw, hey, come on Jack, at least give him a few fingers first,” said Rei sympathetically, although a wicked grin remained fixed across her face.

“Kitten, I don’t think I can wait much longer. I can’t tell if I want to kill something or fuck something, but if one of those two things doesn’t happen soon, I’m definitely going with kill,” Jack said in a strained tone.

“Oh, fuck, come on man…” mumbled Axton into the sheets. He raised his head to glance over his shoulder at Jack, a pleading look in his eyes. “If I survive this night, don’t you want me to at least tell people you’re a good lay? You know they’re gonna ask what Handsome Jack is like in bed …”

Jack shot him one of his signature “if looks could kill” faces and made an exasperated growl deep in his throat in response.

It was clearly taking every ounce of willpower he had to restrain himself from plunging balls deep into the command splayed out before him, but he begrudgingly lubed up a few fingers and got to work. Axton groaned as Jack pumped one large finger into his tight hole, and after a few pumps, another, far too soon for comfort. Jack worked him open quickly, drawing mostly grunts of pain from Axton as he carelessly fucked his fingers into the cuffed man.

“Think you can fucking take me now, cupcake? Or am I still too big for you?” hissed Jack, still pumping his fingers in and out.

“Shut up and do it already, douchebag,” retorted Axton. Jack abruptly yanked his fingers out, making him shudder in pain.

“You reaaally need to remember your manners, or I’m not going to be able to help you, Ax,” Rei said, her voice soft and sickly sweet. She was hovering next to Jack, her arm draped over one of his broad shoulders, her head resting on top of it.

“Oh, sweetheart, nothing can help him now,” growled Jack, lining his cock up with Axton’s quivering hole.

“Maybe he just needs a good dicking. Go on, J, fuck the shit out of him,” urged Rei, her tone absolutely poisonous.

Jack sank into Axton far too quickly, making the commando yelp and writhe underneath him as Jack pressed the weight of his powerful chest into his back. He fell still as Jack gave him a moment to adjust, his breath coming in heavy pants.

“Thaaaaat’s it, deep breaths. Relax, pumpkin, this is nothing. Things haven’t even begun to get bad for you, yet,” crooned Jack as he started to move his hips.

Jack groaned in relief as he slowly thrust his throbbing cock into Axton, the friction easing his frustration. Axton, on the other hand, was struggling not to whimper as the older man began pounding into him, his rhythm going from gentle and controlled to full on jack-hammering in less than a minute.

“So tell me, Axie, did you really think I’d fuck you nicely? That I’d suddenly change my mind about wanting most of you annoying fuckin’ vault hunters dead? You willingly entered the lions’ den, expecting not to get torn to pieces. What the fuck is wrong with you, kiddo?” Jack laughed and punctuated his sentence with a particularly hard thrust, eliciting a satisfying yelp from the man beneath him.

“Guess I’m just a glutton for punishment,” grunted Axton, a hint of amusement in his voice. It seemed as though he was beginning to enjoy himself, and Jack, while pleased that the commando was getting off on being manhandled and tormented by him, wasn’t about to let him enjoy it without consequence.

“Hey, kitten, why don’t you show our friend that little stunt you pulled on Pandora? The one that nearly broke my face?” said Jack, roughly yanking the leash towards himself, forcing Axton to sit up and lean back into his chest. Jack hooked a few fingers under the collar and slowed his thrusts to keep him anchored in place.

Rei, who had been running her nails down Jack’s back and murmuring words of encouragement in his ear, giggled. She reached into Jack’s thigh holster, still bunched around his thighs with his pants, slid out his gun, and turned it on Axton.

“Woah, woah, hold up, at least make it a fair fight if you’re going to try and kill me,” he rasped against the pressure of Jack’s pull on the collar.

“Don’t worry, hun, safety’s on. Doesn’t make it much safer for you, though,” she said with an amused grin, drawing back her arm. She swung the gun down on him, even harder than she had on Jack, decking him across the face, and causing the commando to cry out in pain and surprise. Both Rei and Jack cackled as Axton spat blood onto the bed.

“That all you got, babe?” he said dazedly, giving her a bloodstained grin.

Jack gave the collar a sharp tug.

“We can go harder if you want, kiddo. Just keep running that mouth of yours, see what happens,” he growled. He shoved Axton back down on the mattress and returned to his punishing pace, pumping in and out of him. Axton let out a low moan, his cuffed hands balling into fists behind his back.

Rei watched Jack begin to pant, the muscles in his back tensing. She moved to his side and leaned over Axton to pull Jack into a heated kiss, burying her hands in his hair and digging her nails roughly into his scalp, drawing a soft moan out of the man. All he needed was a little more pain to push him over the edge. She let her lips glide from his mouth, to his jaw, and then down his chest. Rei dragged her tongue over the firm muscles, stopping to lave over his nipple. Suddenly she bit down hard on the tender bud, sending shudders through his body.

“Ah, fuck, kitten, you’re gonna make me cum…” he groaned desperately. “You hear that, Axie? I’m gonna fill your tight little hole and make a huge mess for ya. Let’s see how well you march after being fucked senseless and filled with cum, soldier boy,” he hissed in Axton’s ear.

“Hey, hey, not in-“

Axton tried to protest, but it was too late. Jack was already hunched over his back, one hand buried in Rei’s hair as she continued sinking her teeth into his pectoral, the other between Axton’s shoulders, crushing him into the mattress with all his weight. Jack threw back his head, eyes screwed shut, and gave a final, brutal thrust, sinking his cock all the way to the hilt and letting go. He groaned loudly as he spilled into the man beneath him, his cock twitching and spurting for what felt like ages, pain and pleasure rippling through his body. Finally, he sank forward to lean on his hands, torso still hunched over Axton’s back, head hung low in exhaustion.

“God…damn…that was good. Really fucking good,” he panted, slowly pulling himself out of the commando. A thick stream of cum trickled out of Axton’s abused hole and dribbled down his thighs.

“Fuck you. What the hell,” grumbled Axton, displeased at the wet, tacky feeling of Jack’s cum dripping between his legs.

“HAH! Nope, pretty sure you’re the one who just got fucked here, princess,” said Jack, descending into peels of laughter. “I’ll tell you what, since you got me off so good, I’m gonna let you fuck kitten and get her off that good, too. If she wants. You want that, kitten?”

“About damn time,” she purred, stroking the hair on his chest.

“Well if I’m going to be doing any actual fucking, these cuffs gotta go…”

“Hmm…I do kind of want to see what you’re capable of… Should we trust him, J?”

“Hell, why not. Kid’s earned it. But just to be safe…” Jack pulled his pants back up to his hips, tucking himself away, but leaving the fly open. He removed his gun from its holster and clicked off the safety. “No funny business, ok, kiddo? One wrong move and I’ll blow brains out. And- trust me- it won’t even ruin the mood.”

Jack reached into his pocket and pulled out a key, then went about unlocking the cuffs. Rei slid up the bed to rest her back against the headboard, waiting in eager anticipation.

“Can I go get cleaned up, at least?” asked Axton, sitting up and rubbing his wrists.

“Here,” said Rei, leaning forward and pulling his shirt, still bunched around his elbows, the rest of the way off. She tossed it at him with a derisive laugh.

Axton grumbled but took the shirt and wiped down his legs and ass. He then turned to Rei and slid close enough to nudge her legs apart with his knee, a hand planted on either side of her hips. A devious smile began to play across his lips. He glanced over his shoulder at Jack, checking to see where the gun and leash were in proximity to himself. Jack had given him some slack on the leash to move around, but still had the gun pointed threateningly at his head. The older man moved to kneel beside Axton, also dropping down to lean on his hands, and pressing the gun into his back.

“That good dicking I just gave ya made you a little hard, huh, Axie? You fuckin’ love the abuse, don’t you?” he said, dipping his head to mutter huskily in his ear. Jack licked a hot stripe up Axton’s neck, sending shivers of pleasure down his spine.

Rei reached for Axton’s semi stiff cock and began giving it slow, languid strokes, pleased when he let out a low moan as he hardened beneath her fingers. He leaned in and kissed her, more aggressively and sloppier than he had earlier, and pulled her down underneath him so their hips were flush. He began to grind his now erect length against her pubic bone, enjoying the way her breasts pressed against his chest. He ran a hand down her leg, then suddenly threw it over his shoulder, ignoring the sting as her stiletto dug into his skin. The commando reached between them and began to rub her clit in small circles, making her arch her back as she squirmed underneath him in pleasure.

“Fuck me, soldier boy,” moaned Rei, rolling her hips up to meet his.

“Go on kid, give it to her,” growled Jack, watching the pair lustfully.

Axton positioned himself at Rei’s entrance and sank into her slowly while sucking kisses onto her ankle. He drew himself out almost entirely, just his cockhead teasing her lips, then slowly slid back into her warm, wet heat and repeated the motion.

“Come on soldier, I know you want it rougher than that. We just beat the crap out of you, aren’t you gonna give it right back to us? “ Jack hissed in his ear, as if he was the devil on Axton’s shoulder.

Axton ignored him, opting instead to lean down and suck Rei’s nipple. She moaned and dragged her fingers through his short cropped hair.

“Let’s go kid, if you don’t fuck her proper then I will,” snarled Jack, hooking a finger under his collar and giving it a sharp, warning tug. He was already hard again, waiting, wanting, and aching.

Axton wheezed and glared over at him, but slightly picked up his pace. Rei responded with a pleased little mewl, bringing her hips up to meet his in synchronized rhythm. Axton groaned hotly into her ear, surprised at how close to finishing he already was. He loved danger, and apparently his cock loved it, too.

Suddenly Jack was wrenching him back, sending him toppling to the side.

“Sorry, kid. You had your chance and I’m fuckin’ tired of waiting,” Jack said, shoving his pants off the rest of the way.

Jack pounced upon Rei with a feverish hunger, pulling her legs around his waist and roughly thrusting into her, making her gasp.

“Hang on tight, kitten,” he murmured in her ear, before dropping to his elbows and begging to slam his cock into her at a brutal pace. She gripped his back, her nails digging in deep enough to cause tiny pinpricks of blood to form on the surface of his skin.

Rei was moaning desperately at full volume, unable to control the sounds that Jack was wrenching out of her as he pounded away. Jack himself wasn’t much better, groaning huskily in her ear between heavy breaths, lost in a haze of chemically enhanced arousal.

Rei alternated between moans and whines and whispering filthy things in his ear, egging him on. She dragged her teeth down his neck, biting down hard when she reached the juncture of his neck and shoulder. Jack shuddered in pain and pleasure, feeling a familiar heat pooling in his groin.

“Jack, oh fuck, I’m so close,” she whispered breathily in his ear, eliciting a low, sinful groan from the man.

“Scream my name, baby. You know how I like it. Scream my name while you cum for me, kitten,” he growled.

And in moments, Rei was writhing underneath him, her hips bucking up into his, howling his name in a breathy, high pitched whine. Jack sucked in his breath as her pussy clenched around him, milking his cock, dragging him to the edge. He gave a few more uneven, hitching thrusts and came, slamming his cock into her and spilling inside her with a roar. He continued to press himself as deeply as he could, giving little thrusts, while he rode out the throbbing, twitching spurts of his orgasm, nuzzling her neck and groaning in ecstasy.

After several minutes, Jack raised himself up on his hands, shoulders hunched and panting hard.

“Well,” he said, sounding winded, “that’s how ya do it, kiddo.”

He looked over at Axton, who was leaning against the headboard next to them, one arm behind his head and the other being used to leisurely stroke his very hard cock.

“So, uh… You gonna get out of the way or what?” asked Axton gruffly, his eyes dark with lust.

Jack raised his eyebrows skeptically at him, then sat up and gently maneuvered Rei’s legs to the side. He turned to face Axton.

“Come ‘ere, kid,” Jack ordered, curling a finger at the other man.

Axton shuffled forward obediently, thoughts only focused on getting the relief he so desperately needed.

“Yeah, I’m done sharing,” Jack breathed huskily, “but I’ll tell ya what…” He licked his palm and reached down between them to grab Axton’s cock. The commando grunted and bucked his hips at the contact.

“Ooh, are you gonna help him out, J?” giggled Rei, coming up behind Axton and draping herself over his shoulders.

“I sure am, kitten. I’m just a real nice guy, what can I say?” said Jack cheerfully, beginning to stroke Axton’s leaking cock. He reached up and curled the other hand around Axton’s jaw, holding it firmly.

“Look at me,” he ordered.

Axton kept his eyes shut, not wanting to ruin the sensations coursing through his groin by being eye to eye with the man who once tried to kill him.

“I said look at me,” Jack hissed dangerously.

Axton grudgingly opened his eyes and was met with the manic, fiery glare of one blue eye, one green. Jack’s stare chilled him to the core.

“Don’t forget who’s jerking you off right now, kid. When you’re beating it to this later in whatever shitty, filthy part of the galaxy you came from, just remember that it was Handsome Jack making you cum all over your stupid, pathetic self. Remember that I can kill you just as easily as I can get you off because you’re weak, Axton. You could try to stop me, if you wanted to. But you don’t want to. You’re like putty in my hands. Now cum for me, soldier boy,” said Jack in an unnervingly calm and measured tone, as if he wasn’t jerking off a man he’d just tortured for hours.

Axton screwed his eyes shut again, trying to ignore Jack’s order, willing himself not to give in… But it was all too much. The fast, rough friction of Jack’s hand, Rei’s tongue gliding up his neck and over his jaw, her nails scraping across his chest, and Jack’s words, combined with his dominating presence, his face mere inches from Axton’s own, were all too much. Before he could stop himself, Axton was shooting rope after rope of warm, sticky finish all over his own stomach. He jerked and moaned in Jack’s hand, finally slumping forward, his head hanging low, breath coming in pants. Jack wiped his hand on Axton’s shoulder, grinning maliciously, then went to retrieve his pants and slip them on.

“So now that we’re all squared away here, let’s get down to business. What do we do with you, hmm, Axie? Does he live, or does he die? That’s the million-dollar question, isn’t it?” mused Jack, pulling his gun from its holster and spinning it around his finger.

“Maybe he’s ready to tell us who sent him. That might improve his odds, don’t you think?” said Rei sweetly.

“How about it, kid? You ready to talk, or would you rather take your chances?”

“I’m a gambling man. Love that adrenaline rush. So, in other words… you’re not getting shit out of me, old man,” laughed Axton, tauntingly.

Jack stopped spinning his gun, face suddenly contorted with rage.

“Oooh. Ok. Uh-oh. You just-” Rei began.

Jack drew back his fist and slugged Axton squarely in the gut with all his might, knocking the wind of him. The commando bent double, clutching his stomach and gasping for breath.

“-made things worse for yourself.” she said with a sigh.

“Good…arm..." wheezed Axton.

"Yeah. The age thing is kind of a sore spot for Jack."

"Not as sore as he's about to be," muttered Jack under his breath, quietly fuming.

“Ok, ok. Missteps aside, what are we going to do with him?”

“Well, first of all…”

Jack snatched the abandoned handcuffs from the foot of the bed, and, taking advantage of the soldier’s momentary vulnerability after getting punched by what felt like a wrecking ball, wrenched Axton’s arms behind him and slapped the cuffs back on without much of a struggle.

“And now obviously I’m going to beat the ever-loving shit out of him until he gives me useful information, or he dies. We can do this the easy way, or we can do this the blah-blah-blah, too late, tough shit, you already chose, pal,” sneered Jack.

A sudden chiming came from Axton’s discarded pants on the floor. Jack cocked an eyebrow and slid off the bed to retrieve them, pulling the commando’s Echo from his pocket.

“Well I’ll be damned…” he breathed.

“Don’t answer tha-“ Axton began.

“Lilith! To what do I owe the pleasure? Have a nice nap?” said Jack cheerfully, picking up the call.

“Oh what the hell, why do you have Axton’s Echo, you prick?” said Lilith’s scowling hologram.

“I don’t know; why don’t you ask him? Axie, baby, say hello.” Jack turned the Echo’s camera towards him, still naked, collared, and cuffed on the bed.

“AXTON! NOT. AGAIN,” yelled Lilith in frustration. She pressed her finger tips between her eyes, squeezing them shut momentarily.

He hung his head sheepishly, avoiding the hologram’s fierce glare.

“Sorry, Lil.”

“You had one job. ONE. Kill them. Not fuck them. KILL THEM. You couldn’t even stop them from drugging me and Roland! Is it too much to ask that you keep it in your pants for just one night? JESUS!”

“I mean, come on Lil, we both knew this would probably wind up just being a scouting mission, unless an opportunity presented itself. And it did!”

“And you still fucked it up,” she hissed.

“Woah, woah, woah, can we go back to the part about this little shit stain trying to kill us? You hired sweet cheeks here to be your assassin?” asked Jack incredulously.

“Yeah, what of it, Jack?” grumbled Lilith.

He was silent a moment, staring at the hologram in surprise. Suddenly he burst out laughing, cackling so hard that he bent double and clutched his sides.

“Nice work, cupcake! You really know how to pick ‘em,” he said, wiping a tear of mirth away from his eye. Then his voice dropped about two octaves, the laughter abruptly disappearing from his face. “I think we’ll keep him,” he said, his voice quiet and deadly.

“What? No! You can’t-“

“Eye for an eye, sweetheart. You try to fuck us, we try to fuck you… And then we all just end up fucking poor Axton. Well, mostly just me, actually.”

“No, Jack, wait, we’re willing to negotiate.”

“You got a vault key, princess?”

“No…”

“Well then you’ve got nothing I want. And I suggest you don’t come anywhere near the VIP floor unless you want to tango with fifty Badass Loader Bots, ten turrets, and my main man, Wilhelm. He’s around here somewhere. Who knows, maybe he’s even on his way down to you already! Cia!”

“Wait! What about-“

Jack hung up the call.

“So much for that truce, huh? What a cunt,” he said, turning to Rei.

She had pulled a pack of cigarettes from the bedside table and had one dangling from her mouth, and was now sitting with her back against the headboard, arms crossed, glowering. She pulled a lighter from the pack and lit her cigarette, inhaling deeply, then exhaled a slow, steady stream of swirling smoke.

“That bitch. I made sure you didn’t kill her, or even harm her, just so she could send an assassin after us? Un-fucking-believable.”

“That’s what people do, kiddo. They’ll smile to your face while stabbing you in the back. Although… this guy wasn’t much of an assassin, now, was he?” he said, ruffling Axton’s hair.

“You two gonna kill me, or what?” grunted Axton.

“Honestly? Haven’t decided yet. Make yourself useful, and who knows, maybe there’s a job for you at the Rhysie Pole. You definitely won’t be a free man ever again, though, that’s for sure. Now, as much as I want to stay and play, we should probably put some distance between us and the fire-bitch. Get dressed, kitten.”

“Back to Helios?” she asked, flicking her cigarette.

“Yep. Looks like we’ve got some work to do,” he said, cracking the leash over Axton’s back like a whip and cackling as the commando howled in pain.

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firelxdykatara · 5 years ago

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*sigh* why do people keep comparing r/eylo to zutara and putting them in the same group? Were they not paying attention to the show? Did they not see Zuko's evolution?

Honestly, I really don’t know.

Like, ok, superficially, I can almost kinda get it. Angry boy with a scar on his face and the girl who could kick his ass offering to heal him? Ok, fine. Even aesthetically, red and blue, tol and smol, fine. I can sorta see it. But the instant you dig even a little bit deeper, they just… aren’t the same at all???? Not even remotely????

And, ok, I’ll admit to some measure of bias, because I don’t ship reylo and I don’t like it as a ship, nor do I want it to happen in any way in canon, but like, part of the reason Zutara works so well is that it’s not a hero/villain ship. It’s enemies-to-lovers, for sure, but the vast majority of us ship it because of Zuko’s redemption arc.

Yeah, you’ll see ‘I’ll save you from the pirates’ UST jokes, and a lot of us started shipping it back in book 1, but it was obvious from the beginning that Zuko was going to get redeemed. He may have been a villain, but he was never the villain–he was narratively placed as the secondary protagonist (deuteragonist) of the show from his very first appearance. He was given his own narrative arc that had little to do with the main plotline of Aang’s journey, because while his own journey ran parallel to the gaang, it was separate and distinct because he was on his way to his own redemption even then.

Zuko Alone, in book 2, drove this home even further. You don’t give someone who isn’t the primary protagonist of the show an episode all to themselves (literally none of the gaang shows up for even a second) unless this is a character who’s meant to have just as much narrative significance as the main cast. Zuko was always going to join the gaang, and so much zutara meta and fanfic rests on how amazing and emotionally fulfilling their relationship development was, as friends, and that it would have made so much sense for their friendship to go even further.

Reylo doesn’t have any of that.

First of all, Kylo Ren is not Zuko–not even close. Kylo has far more agency in being dark than Zuko ever did. Ben Solo had loving parents and grew up in a supportive environment. His uncle ultimately made a mistake, sure, but a) we see three versions of that particular story: the sanitized version (luke), the demonized version (kylo), and the truth, and b) kylo already had the knights of ren all ready to go and slaughter a bunch of kids.

He was already dark. You don’t go and murderdeathkill a bunch of kids and people you’d ostensibly been raised with just because you saw your uncle standing over you with a lightsaber he clearly wasn’t going to actually use unless you were already making plans to do just that. You can blame as much of it as you want on Snoke and his influence, but that would be a little like blaming Palpatine for Anakin–yeah, he gets some of the blame for manipulating the situation, but Anakin’s still the one who made the choice to kill a temple full of children and choke out his own wife. Darth Vader may have, in the end, chosen to return to the light, but that doesn’t absolve him of the evils he chose to commit.

Kylo is, tragically, in the same narrative position as Darth Vader was in the original trilogy–and Vader couldn’t even bring himself to kill his son. But Kylo chose to kill his father. And that, incidentally, is one of the places where Zuko and Kylo are essentially diametrically opposed. Zuko turned on Uncle Iroh, yes, but he didn’t cross a line from which there was no coming back–he didn’t kill him. He, in fact, kept going to see him, trying to figure out why the choice he’d made felt so wrong when it was supposed to be everything he’d always wanted. Meanwhile, Kylo murdered his own father because he was hoping to destroy that last link to his own humanity.

And he succeeded.

Furthermore, Rey is not Katara. I love them both, so much, but they are very different people, and different characters who fulfill different narrative spaces in their own stories. In Rey’s position, Katara would probably have killed Kylo in the throne room when he turned on her after killing Snoke. Or, placing Kylo in Zuko’s place in atla, if he’d killed Hakoda (remembering that Han was the only father figure rey’d ever known)? She would have destroyed him. No fucking mercy

Katara does not forgive easily. It took Zuko not only proving that he was on the side of good (which he did multiple times, one of which he even saved her father), but specifically proving to her that he cared for her and genuinely wanted to help–by helping her gain closure for her mother’s murder. She emotionally connected with Zuko in the crystal catacombs, sure, but when he turned on her she hated him and had no intention of turning back. (Even though, from Zuko’s perspective, it wasn’t a betrayal at all–he’d made no promises, and it was his sister offering him everything he’d ever wanted. As far as he was concerned, the only person he betrayed there was his uncle, which is why it took him so long to realize just why Katara hated him so much. And even then he needed her brother’s help to figure out how to fix it.)

On the other hand, Rey was ready, willing, even eager to believe that Kylo could be returned to the light side–could become Ben again. This after he’d done something utterly unforgiving right in front of her, and tried to kill her multiple times. (Notably, at no point during Zuko and Katara’s antagonistic relationship was Zuko actually trying to kill her. He was trying to capture Aang. The worst thing he did was burn down Suki’s village, and that was largely an accident, because he was trying to get to Aang to capture him–alive.) She wanted to believe there was good in him. Katara couldn’t have cared less, throughout the first two books–and then, when confronted with the fact that Zuko had suffered something to which she could relate, she connected with him… and he turned on her. (From her perspective, she’d just reached out and offered this boy a chance to prove he’d changed… and he threw it in her face. So yeah, she took it incredibly fucking personally.)

Even now, it’s possible that if Kylo comes at Rey with some ‘I’m really light now’ story, she’ll probably want to believe him. But even if Reylo happens (and I’ll stress that I really don’t think it’s going to, and if it does I’ll probably be bitterly disappointed, but what else is new) it won’t even remotely resemble Zutara because they are, at their core, incredibly different relationships. Katara didn’t start warming up to Zuko, after that book 2 betrayal, until after he’d proven himself again and again, and helped her begin to heal from the trauma she’d suffered as a child. Furthermore, Zuko was never that evil to begin with. He was being primed for a redemption arc from the start, and he never even came close to the sort of moral event horizon Kylo pole-vaulted over when he murdered a whole bunch of students in their beds and then killed his own father.

And here’s the thing a lot of these Zuko-lite redemption arcs don’t seem to understand–it’s not a one-size-fits-all storyline. You can’t just slap Zuko’s redemption arc on any old villain, because for a redemption to work, it needs to be tailored specifically to fit the villain in question. And most villains aren’t Zuko–he was a very special kind of ‘secondary protagonist who starts out bad and gets a little bit worse before he gets better and joins the good guys’, which most villains can’t hope to match. If you want to redeem someone who’s canonically done far more atrocious acts, their redemption has to encompass the fact that not only are they getting better, but they are actively atoning for the horrible things they’ve done.

Killian Jones, from Once Upon a Time, had a redemption arc which looked nothing like Zuko’s, because he wasn’t a villain like Zuko. His redemption involved not only coming to realize that he’d been doing bad things for a very long time in search of a vengeance which was, ultimately, not what he really wanted or needed, but also making amends to the people he’d hurt over his very long life (those he still could help, at least). (Interestingly enough, that same show had a great example of a horribly botched redemption, in which we were supposed to take it on faith that the character was Good Now even though she’d never once expressed either remorse for the evil she’d committed [which was a lot more evil than Killian ever had] or a desire to make amends to those she’d wronged. In fact, come the end of the show, she still had a vault full of stolen hearts she’d never so much as made an effort to return, even though many of their owners were, ostensibly, in the same town she’d created through one of her many acts of villainy. It was… kind of strange, to say the least, to see how they could get one villain’s redemption so right and another’s so horribly wrong.)

Anyway, tl;dr: the upshot of this all is, Kylo Ren is not Zuko–he’s not even close–and Rey is not Katara. Their relationships look nothing alike, and even if Kylo is redeemed, it’s not going to look anything like Zuko’s redemption–partly because Zuko was never that bad to begin with and Kylo would have much more for which to atone, partly because their narrative journeys are so very very different–and I have never understood the comparison beyond a very surface-level reading of their character aesthetics.

#zutara #zuko #katara #anti reylo #(just in case)#Anonymous #asked

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elmidol · 5 years ago

Text

Our Lives Are But a Tempest

Three Blind Tooke Part Two Precarious Harmony

Read on AO3

Warnings: None(?)

Three Blind Tooke

Part Two: Precarious Harmony

Chapter Thirty-Five: Our Lives Are But a Tempest

Green was washed away by the rainbow of flowers that were in bloom. You could see them through the windshield of the Command Shuttle. Kylo Ren, Rey, and you were standing; only the man was not holding onto the back of a seat to keep himself steady. He was familiar with this vessel, with the turbulence it could meet. Originally when you had set out, you had been seated in the chair that remained behind Kylo. It was his seat, however you were the only person there whose body threatened to fail at any given moment. This was once more been emphasized when the Command Shuttle had broken atmosphere. The punch to the gut feeling that had caused your legs to draw upwards towards the center of your body, that had forced you to grip the armrests with all of your strength to keep yourself from pitching forward. The fight with the Praetorian guards had taken too much from you. On top of that, the confusion and emotional turmoil that plagued you.

You had recovered since then. Taking your place at Kylo Ren’s side had felt too natural. The clothing he wore, an echo of Naboo and Alderaanian styles. The dark red that had once been worn by his biological maternal grandmother. The style of his black cape similar to that of Bail Organa. It would have been easy to play a new game of make believe, to think of him as Ben Solo. Your right thumb skimmed along that name. For the first time in a while, you appreciated its presence. A reminder not of your torture, but of the fact that one’s past never fully disappeared. The young woman that you had once been, she was inside of you somewhere. It was her endurance that had aided you in surviving the torture. Just as it was the remnant of Ben Solo that had caused Kylo Ren pause before he had given into the dark ways taught to him by Snoke.

Rey’s hope that Ben Solo could be returned to the Light did not derive any more skepticism from you. Instead you embraced the thought that part of you could return. Part of Ben could as well. Not that either of you would ever be the same again, though it was a lovely fantasy.

Beside you, Rey sucked in air. A gasp of awe. You and Ren both looked to her, observing her expression as the sight enraptured her. She had lived on Jakku for so long, you reminded yourself. This young woman was able to appreciate the beauty of Jakku more than you ever could; it was nearly incomprehensible for you to think of that, given how much this return meant to you.

Descending down the ramp of the Commander Shuttle, it struck you just how much its black form clashed with the world around it. The First Order did not belong here, you thought. These were words you could not speak aloud, words that would have no effect on the fact that they were here. You had spent too much time already denying reality. Rey’s presence also prevented you from speaking of the negativity that surrounded the situation. She flew down the ramp more quickly than you, and paused when her feet touched the ground. Kylo was behind the two of you. Stormtroopers ahead, their feet on the planet’s surface.

Ren did not pay any heed to the beings in white armor. He set a hand on your lower back to steer you onward, forward. He knew where he was headed. Somehow, as though he had seen your father’s grave in the past. When you had first boarded the Command Shuttle and taken your seat in the chair that Kylo Ren normally occupied, the man had spoken to you, his voice soft. There was a headstone for your father, one that existed in a garden. You pictured the setting, a place that you knew from your childhood. The shuttle had touched down within walking distance of the garden. He had known that you would wish to go nowhere else until you had at long last been reunited, in some small way, with your father.

Sweet scents marked your path, each blossom offering up an aroma that assaulted you with flashbacks. The memories you had put forth in your mind to hold off Kylo Ren from learning the secrets of the Resistance. This was a field of flowers you had run through as a child. The same field in which the boys had killed the tooke.

“I named you tooke, because I knew that destroying you would kill the remainder of my humanity. I became a rancor, though I told myself that you were the monster.”

Words he had whispered to you before the two of you had boarded the Command Shuttle to come to Naboo. Another admittance that he had known all along what he would commit himself to was wrong. A reiteration of another moment.

“Something so unforgivable…” Kylo Ren removed his hand from your scar, the man drawing back so that you no longer felt his lips or breath along your shoulder. “Ultimately we are enemies, tooke…and that can never change.”

You thought of those boys who had killed the tooke, and the manner in which you had compared their actions with that of Kylo Ren’s. Your eyes darted to the exact spot where you had seen that cruel act. Tearing your attention away from that area, you flicked your gaze to Kylo Ren’s face. He was staring at the place you had been. Re-experiencing the memory while on this planet’s surface. Rey, the young woman in your peripheral as she walked mere feet behind you and Ren, was watching the Darkside user. Her hair fluttered in the light breeze that was blowing. The same force that ruffled the cape Kylo wore. His brown eyes shifted onto your face.

In the past, when you had worn attire from Naboo, Kylo Ren had taken you to his quarters on the Finalizer and done what he willed. Now that you wore them again, he acted much differently. His eyes were less lecherous. His expression more mild. As though he had stopped being the monster desperate to kill you, or the self-proclaimed hero battling the evil enchantress. You caught a glimpse of what could had been, if only things had been different.

“I had another name for you. One that I never spoke aloud.”

The memory of those whispered words brought on a shudder similar to the one that had assaulted you when they had first been spoken. You had asked what it was that he had called you, and Kylo Ren had merely lowered his gaze to the ground.

He did the same here. Upon noticing that you were observing him in turn, the man averted his gaze and lengthened his strides so that his face was not in your line of sight. Rey claimed Ren’s former position at your side. She stopped walking, the same way you had, and stood in the silence. Her lips were parted. Questions had to be on the tip of her tongue, however she did not ask them. She had not changed from the outfit that she had worn while fighting with Snoke and the guards, although she had temporarily removed them to allow for cleaning. The darker colors, as with the Command Shuttle, caused her to stand out amongst the flowers.

You offered her the briefest of smiles prior to scurrying forward. Kylo Ren had started to disappear around a turn where the stone path began. You did not wish to lose sight of him despite knowing approximately where the grave would be located. At the same time, you were at a loss for what you would say. It was not as though your father was there. He was dead.

Swallowing thickly, you willed away the bile that threatened to rise in your throat. Being home made it more real to you. You had lost both of your parents; your father, after you had joined the Resistance. As for your mother, you still blamed General Hux for her death. He had known, even when using you for his own political gain, that your mother would be on Hosnian Prime when he activated the weapon on Starkiller Base. If he had wanted, he could have prevented her death. She did not have to die. But Hux did not care for her, for anyone other than—not the First Order, it was himself that he cared about. General Hux craved power. Meanwhile Kylo Ren, wrong as he was, committed acts so heinous because he truly believed that he was aiming to improve the galaxy. Though he did enjoy the power as well, it was strangely less corrupt when you compared him with the redhead.

That was another thing you wished you could ask your father. You had never considered the possibility that you would face multiple monsters at once. What would he have done? What would he have told you to do?

None of those questions included the added complication of Kylo Ren wishing to marry you.

You touched a petal of the rominaria nearest to you, looked over your shoulder to ensure yourself that Rey was not being left behind, and then resumed catching up with Kylo. The reassuring smile that had been on the female Force user’s face gave you confidence. You could face this moment that was being held in your near future. The decision that you would make; the words you would say aloud. You caught up to the man before he reached your father’s grave. Seizing hold of his left wrist, you tugged at the limb and took a deep breath as he stopped walking.

“Before I speak with my… Well, with the grave—” He chuckled, murmuring that you were speaking with your father’s spirit; the stone was but a medium, a physical symbol in the place of your father’s body. You shook your head, although not in disagreement. You relinquished your hold on his arm in order to lift your right hand to display the name Ben Solo. That one finger you encircled with your entire left hand. The name was now eclipsed by the script that read Kylo Ren. “Our past always sticks with us. You aren’t him anymore. I’m not… I am not the person you captured, but that does not change the things that I went through. That will always be with me.

“If you think that the only way things can happen is for me to forget everything that I went through… You are robbing me of everything that I am. Even the parts of me that I hate, that is me.” You drew your hands, one still clasped in the other, towards your heart. “You want me to forget because you hurt… You ache when you think about all that you let yourself do to me. You used me as some body when you were doubting Snoke’s teachings, doubting the lies you let yourself believe. Ren… You did this. You chose to do it all.” Now you held your hands side to side, displaying both Ben Solo and Kylo Ren. “They’re the same. I can show you either name, and that is the person who did this to me.”

Kylo stepped closer to you. His hands were so much larger than yours, each cupping your fingers. Your mind summoned the memory of him breaking your fingers. It was strange, therefore, that you did not tremble at his touch. That treatment was in the past. Now he needed you, and he was not afraid to admit to that. Which was, in a way, perhaps more dangerous.

“There was not supposed to be love between us,” he said. His jaw shifted after his mouth had closed. His eyes moved away from yours, and he turned his head to the side. “I chose to believe his lies, that you would remain my enemy. That I should nurture my hate and give into it. You are right. I knew that it was wrong.”

Though Rey’s footsteps could be heard once more, which meant that she was undoubtedly listening to what was transpiring between the two of you, the moment was not broken. She was a part of you, through the Force and through the intimacy the two of you had shared as two human beings.

“Tell me the truth, Kylo. Why is it that you want to marry me?”

There was no hesitation in him answering you. “You know me best, tooke. I could never belong to anyone else.” The Force user released your hands and instead placed his own on either side of your face. “It will not be a marriage from the fairytales your mother told you as a child.” You had not expected it to be; you weren’t delusional.

It had hit you on a deep, emotional level when you had once believed that Kylo Ren had been intimate with other women while with you. Ironic that—he had been your enemy, more than he was now. This was less about him wanting to own you than it was that he could not imagine allowing anyone else so close to him. Kylo Ren did trust Rey; he had a connection with her that was deep on many levels. That was different. You understood this now, knew why it was that Kylo Ren had desired to have Rey at his side when it came to ruling the galaxy. That was political, not romantic.

Rey paused several feet from where the pair of you were standing. Some semblance of privacy. You could hear her take the first step backwards, and it was then that you turned to motion her forward with a wave.

You walked around Kylo Ren, this time taking the lead to your father’s grave. It was located midway through the path. If you continued on, you would be able to see your house. That was not why you were there, or at least not yet. You lowered onto your knees at the headstone. The colorful trees and blossoms all around faded away in your mind. Your fingers were on the cold stone. You traced the letters of your father’s name. There were fresh flowers placed in front of the grave.

Ryoo.

You snorted while rolling your eyes. You thought of those who had referred to you as Ryoo-bud, remembered moments with your father, and squeezed your eyes closed to picture both. Without reopening your eyes, you touched the ground beside you and spoke Kylo Ren’s name. The soles of his boots hit the dirt. Material rustled; he was either crouching or kneeling next to you. You inhaled through your nostrils. After holding your breath, you demanded that he speak aloud all the things he had done to you.

There was a strangled noise from Rey, a combination of a gasp and sob. You told her that she could leave; she did not need to hear all of the details. The young woman rejected the offer. She would be there for you.

For his part, Kylo Ren did not argue with your demands though he delayed in obliging. How different it was, hearing everything spill from his mouth. The many invasions into your head, the countless violations of your body, and the numerous occasions he had slaughtered your allies. All of the times that he had stolen away your free will. Only now were you hearing the things that you had been forced to say to your mother. Every minute that had been stolen from you, you were offered a glimpse as to what you had done.

Your eyes snapped open, and you stared at Kylo Ren in shock. “My mother thought...what?”

“That you had married me,” he repeated. “My words were influencing you more than anyone else had been able to. I could not allow her to know that I was using the Force. She believed that this was why you seemed uncaring in regards to your father’s death.”

“She died believing a lie.”

There came no answer from the man, not immediately. He shifted once, as though unsure if he wished to remain squatting or if he would stand. He chose the latter, rising to his full height. You mimicked his actions. Confusion ate away at you, and you steadied yourself by placing a hand on the stone marker of your father’s grave. Kylo Ren covered his mouth with part of his hand. His eyes roamed along the features of your face. You stood there with your heart pounding in your chest.

“There is one final reason I brought you home, tooke. I allowed you to live a lie. One act of mercy for an enemy of the First Order.” You were shaking your head, unable to believe a word of what he was saying. Rey had also muttered out a what of disbelief. “I did not let you lose her. A secret neither Hux nor Snoke knew.”

The world around you spun, each flower melding with another and swirling along the stone path on which Rey stood. There were five Reys then only one. Your knees collided with the ground. You were not sure if your clothes ripped; there was something cold on your leg.

It hurt—fantastically, mercifully, agonizingly. She lived, and you had had to mourn her all this time. If General Hux had learned that she had survived, he would have killed her to break you down. Snoke would not have hesitated either. This was an act of compassion from his apprentice. Your body had always meant nothing to you in a way. Not that its violation did not plague you, had not torn you to pieces. But all of that had been something you could endure. Believing that your mother had perished, that had shattered you. That had been the moment, along with realizing that your father had died, that you had thought more fondly of death. You had wanted to join them.

There was a voice speaking to you. Two voices. One male, the other female. They chanted the same word together. A single syllable. Breathe. Only as its meaning hit you did you realize that you were hyperventilating. Rey was on her knees, her hands on your shoulders. Kylo’s face blurred when you tilted back your head to look at him.

He had not spoken the truth sooner; it may have influenced your decision, altered the way you reacted to his wanting to marry you. Kylo Ren had waited until you had been at your father’s grave. He had to have known that you had come to your conclusion. There was nothing to change your mind.

“One of my knights remained with her following her capture. I sent him before the weapon could be fired to ensure that he delayed your mother’s trip to Hosnian Prime. The system was destroyed before she could be missed.” The ryoo recaptured your attention. You stared at those buds through your tears; they had not come from your family’s garden, which meant that she was staying elsewhere. Everyone believed her to be dead so that it could not be discovered by General Hux that she had survived. “Your reaction to your father’s death, when you used my body as something to hold onto… I could not allow them to take her from you. You had already lost everything else—I had taken most of it.”

Rey had wrapped her arms around your trembling form. You subconsciously matched your breathing to hers so that it became more regulated. Faint whispers left her lips. They were soft puffs of air to your ears with syllables on the very edge of your hearing.

“For so long, I hated that I cared for you. I thought you would make me weak. And then I used the hatred you started to feel towards me as a cover. Without it, Snoke would have ordered me to kill you. You knew that—you suggested it so often. Recently I hoped that you could forget the past. I can’t take back the things I did to you.” He paused, his lips not fully sealed. His eyes were half-lidded and trained on the ground. They lifted to your face when he began to speak again. “After killing Snoke, I knew that you could not let go of the past. I cannot. And Hux… I need your skills, tooke, as an LDS. I will marry you. I am a selfish monster, tooke. I do not want anyone else. But when this war is done…” He swallowed thickly. His hands were at his sides in fists. “You won’t belong to me.” Those words were so quiet, yet they pierced you more deeply than anything else he had said. “There is no going back. The person that you were is dead.” Shaking his head and taking a step forward. You pulled from Rey’s embrace to stand, shakily, before Kylo Ren. Rey rose to her feet as well, twisting around to also face Ren. “The mother that loved her—that loves you—is here.”

“I’m not supposed to love you,” you sobbed out, clenching your hands. “After everything you did… How is it that I love a part of you?”

“Because love is foolish.” You laughed, the sound pathetic even to your own ears. His lips twisted upwards into the ghost of a smirk. Beside you, Rey stared at Kylo Ren with an expression of mingled understanding and disbelief; with sorrow and joy. “We cannot play make believe anymore, tooke.”

What happens after Kylo Ren is dead? was a question so many had asked you. You had never had a proper answer. Even when it had changed to include the possibility of him remaining alive. The constant what then? That question that you could never move past.

Here, ironically, he had ensured that you had your answer. A place for you to go, be it after he died or even if he survived. This man had stolen so much from you. Now he offered you a means of moving forward.

Kylo Ren did not linger in the garden by your father’s grave for much longer. You, on the other hand, knelt before the headstone. It hardly felt real. You found yourself waiting for your father to walk down the path from which Ren had disappeared mere minutes ago. Any footsteps you heard, however, belonged to Rey. She refused to leave your side. There was a sense of worry traveling through the bond. It wrapped around your heart, coiling only to expand. It was amazing, knowing how it felt on a physical level that there were unspoken questions.

Her concern had to largely comprise of your future reactions to having listened to Kylo Ren confess his actions at your father’s grave. Namely when he had admitted that he had forced your body to react to his, had trained you as though you were an object, a toy, rather than a person. “It was less real when I could ensure she physically enjoyed it.” That was what he had said, and it was the part of his confession that had pierced through Rey’s sense of compassion for the man formerly known as Ben Solo. For you, you had known all along, on some level, that this was the reason that he had treated you as such.

The silence was broken by the young woman uttering out the words: “I don’t understand.” You wondered if this was the first time she had said something to that effect in regards to the male Force user. You lifted an arm, your hand outstretched. She accepted, her hand sliding into yours as she knelt beside you. You laid your head on her upper arm. Words tumbled from your mouth, although they held no connection to the question she had asked. You instead spoke of things you did fully understand. You told Rey of Naboo, of the various fairy tales that your mother had read to you as a child. The stories that your father had shared, the ones with monsters and those without. The turmoil within the young woman was alleviated the more you told her.

Chitterings from birds echoed in the garden. They interrupted your train of thought on more than a single occasion, which resulted in you backtracking in the tales you told. Rey was ever patient throughout. She laughed in the appropriate places. At times she asked questions; there were many things from your planet that were foreign to her.

As the sun began to fade, you at last pulled away from Rey and stood. She rose mere seconds later prior to following you in the direction of the house you had grown up in. There were lights visible from two of the windows. You wondered what Kylo Ren had thought of your home, the one he had glimpsed from your memories. Had he explored all of the rooms? You planned on doing just that. On touching everything that you could to solidify the fact that this was real. You grasped Rey’s hand, tugging her along and through the front door. Her jaw had dropped immediately, and her eyes were exploring every surface that they could.

Compared with others, your home was not the most extravagant on Naboo; yet it did have an air of nobility that bespoke of your mother’s political position. It was sad, you thought, that so many had believed that your extent of luxury would have kept you from joining the Resistance. Credits were nothing to you. The riches here, for you, were the memories of your childhood. The memories of your father and mother.

“Rey, what if my mother doesn’t love the person I’ve become?” you asked when the pair of you had entered your parents’ room. Rey lingered in the doorway, although her head turned left then right as she explored the contents with her eyes. Those warm orbs landed on your face. Before she had a chance to speak the words, you knew what she was about to say. They still managed to warm your heart. She will.

Hours later, when you were in her arms underneath the covers on your bed, she repeated those words to you. You traced the contours of her face with the very tips of your fingers. A small lamp in the room illuminated her features and kept the darkness from fully consuming the two of you. Ren had not left the study where you had seen him earlier. Your father’s study, which was littered with children’s books and old toys as well as boxes of his belongings. You had been unable to enter the room; Rey had pulled you away, ensuring that you did not break down into tears as reality threatened to overwhelm you. You thought of the study as she spoke to you. Your life and your father’s, shoved into boxes. Your room had remained somewhat intact. Your bed, your clothes inside of the closet—though they, too, were in boxes rather than properly put away. Your mother must have hated you, you thought. She had believed that you did not care about your father’s death. She had believed that she had lost both of you, in the same way you had feared you had lost both of your parents.

A revelation you faced was that your anger towards General Hux did not lessen. He would have killed your mother without a care in the world. That she was alive only made the attack on Hosnian Prime less personal. It was, regardless, abhorrent. All of those lives lost in the blink of an eye. He was the destroyer of worlds.

Like Rey, you were more determined to temporarily work alongside Kylo Ren. There were enemies that were mutual between the Resistance and the First Order. On top of that, Rey becoming integrated with the Knights of Ren would assist her in growing as a Force user. That, along with the secret that she had whispered to you when she was certain that Kylo would not overhear. She had a connection with Master Skywalker. She could feel him in the Force, and reach out to him. The bond was much weaker than the one she shared with Kylo, and different than what she had with you. But it was there.

You lowered your hand from her face, shifting the limb underneath the blanket and grabbing onto hers. Luke Skywalker would assist in keeping Rey from drowning in the darkness as she toed that line. She would not become one of the Jedi of old; not the ones that you had heard about at least. Apparently there had been dark and gray Jedi in the past. Fallen Jedi—not all Dark users were Sith. Which, you thought, you should have already known from your experiences with Snoke and Kylo Ren alone. Though he was hesitant to approve of it, Luke understood Rey’s reasoning for remaining with Kylo Ren. Not only that she had stayed for you, but that she was aware the First Order currently had the numbers to easily wipe out the remnant of the Resistance. Working inside, the two of you had a chance of helping your allies.

You pressed your body against hers and fell asleep in her arms.

At some point she had extricated herself from your embrace, dressed, and had joined Kylo Ren outdoors. They were visible from your bedroom window. It was there that you watched them, their lightsabers activated. Ren’s stance was passive, whereas Rey charged forward. The dark haired Force user ducked easily—though this was in part because neither were aiming to kill the other—and said something. His lips moved, and seconds later Rey altered the manner in which she rushed for him. Her actions now were more fluid. You wondered what weapons she had wielded prior to obtaining the lightsaber.

You moved away from the window. The style of the clothing from the boxes in the closet no longer suited your tastes. With no alternative, save for the attire in which you had been dressed upon arriving on Naboo, you selected one of the more comfortable pieces. It was a loose garment though it complimented your shape. The material was softer than you remembered. You slipped your feet into shoes that matched, and at last exited your bedroom.

The last time you had walked out of the front door, you had left Naboo and formally joined the Resistance. This time, you went to the marble bench that was situated by an empty bird feeder. You did not remember it being there. Had your father or mother set it up? You poked the bottom, smiled to yourself, and began to watch the two Force users train together.

There was a story from your childhood that you remembered well. Though you would not learn until much later, it had spoken of the Jedi. Once hailed as heroes of the Republic, they later were demonized. The Empire had banned the children’s book, though your father had somehow kept a copy. It was your mother that had read it to you the first time, or at least the first time you could remember.

And once upon a time,

Those monsters were heroes.

To sing, to laud—all in their name.

But darkness chases after light,

And the shadows of our judgment

Enshrouded the heroes, drowning them.

You thought of how Kylo Ren viewed his parents. Hailed as heroes of the Rebellion, and now he viewed them as enemies. When had it changed? Had they ever been his heroes? Maker knew that numerous beings in the galaxy thought of General Organa as a warmonger. Luke Skywalker had many critics as well. Some even claimed that he had no Force capabilities, that he was a con artist. What tales would be told of Rey?

Said female deactivated her lightsaber, holstered it, and waited while her—teacher?—while Kylo did the same. Neither had broken a sweat. You imagined that their more intense training would occur in the near future. Presumably when the Knights were available to observe.

The new Supreme Leader of the First Order directed his attention on you.“There are officers in the First Order that had served the Emperor. Their loyalties and goals should be obvious.” You shared a look with Rey; there was a bud of hope growing in the both of you that Kylo Ren could be swayed, that the goals of the First Order that existed under his control would be less tyrannical than they had been under Snoke. “The mutual enemies of the First Order and Resistance—while the Master of the Knights of Ren ensures that they are dealt with, you will learn how to utilize the weapons each one specializes in. Their deaths cannot be traced back to you.”

You found yourself sucking in air, your lungs full, and holding perfectly still. He was assigning you the task of killing officers of the First Order. This was what you had done for the Resistance. It had been your goal. And now? You felt humbled, knowing that you would be useful to your allies though you had to trust this man, your former—current?—enemy to accomplish the task. Kylo had not lied to you. You would be serving the Resistance. He was not attempting to force you to kill your comrades, not mocking your beliefs as he had countless times in the past.

“You marrying her,” Rey said, earning your full attention as well as Ren’s. “The Knights of Ren will accept me as Master, and her as your wife.” A slow nod. “You’re leaving her with me, aren’t you? Once you marry her…”

Kylo Ren’s eyes flicked to your face. You had started to release a shaky breath, struggling with a sense of vertigo. “Temporarily while she learns. I cannot chance Hux or Phasma learning what skills she obtains. They are necessary for the time being. Following our marriage, you will remain behind under the pretense of health complications. I will send Urvno here to ensure he monitors your body as you train.”

Your mind had not stopped reeling from the news that he would be leaving you. It was what you had thought about numerous times in the past. Being away from the Force user, resuming missions as an LDS. You were no longer convinced that this was not all a dream. You were on Naboo and your mother was alive—that couldn’t be real, as much as you wanted it to be.

I could never belong to anyone else.

Where he had tattooed your flesh, you had marked him in ways that could not be seen. His desperation to own you, for you to admit that you were his. Was that him projecting or deflecting his feelings? You tilted back your head and stared up at the gathering clouds. You knew how well that the man despised feeling weak, and how he believed that sentiment was a weakness. All of that denial.

“Ren… One final time.” Kylo knit his eyebrows towards one another. “We have to play make believe one last time.”

“For your mother,” he said. It caused your heart to flutter, to ache, that he knew you so well. “She won’t know.” You nodded. Beside Kylo, Rey pinched her lips together tightly and then visibly relaxed. “Are you ready to see her?”

Soft, almost breathless: “Yes.”

#kylo ren x reader #kylo x reader #kylo ren smut #kylo ren imagine #three blind tooke #elmidolfanfic #precarious harmony

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elopez7228 · 5 years ago

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Scenic Route 25/47

Read on AO3 : https://archiveofourown.org/works/18268208/chapters/43229774

Start over : https://elopez7228.tumblr.com/post/620919089893933056/scenic-route-0147

***

Maz and Rey stayed at the Motel-6 on Weat Drive in Helena, which provided twin rooms—with matching twin beds. It was a well-kept yet charmless establishment, built in the image of the city itself. Helena’s wide avenues and stocky skyline formed a neat grid around major routes running north-south and east-west.

The surrounding countryside was verdant, but Rey found the architecture quite different, typical of cities that experienced long winters: raised sidewalks, thick walls and closed windows. But the spirit of the Far West was palpable in Montana, from the wood-plank porches and cowboy hats to the cattle breeders and the constant presence of horses. But there was a certain culture clash as one moved north, to the heartland comprised of oil wells, massive trucks, leather and furs.

The atmosphere was gloomy; this morning’s enthusiasm that had accompanied their gargantuan brunch and a swim in the river, had diminished considerably. Running into Syed had cast a dark shadow over Rey’s mood, her feelings no less tumultuous than before. Was she mad at Ben Solo? Did she want keep flirting with him this morning? They did have an undeniable attraction. Truthfully, she hadn’t stopped thinking about him, not for a moment, since she their paths crossed on her first day in America. How annoying. She would gladly have spent an hour without thinking of him, honestly. She would have wanted to think of herself, or Finn or Poe, to blame Leia Skywalker for her troubles or to conquer the world with Maz. But alas, here she was, fretting over Ben Solo.

Wasn’t she furious at him? The indecision was killing her inside. She would go to the concert the next day, but it would require an explanation, a face to face. She would have to look him in the eyes and give him an ultimatum that would determine their relationship: to end it here and now, or to give him a chance to make amends.

Maz accompanied her to the Museum of the Rockies, where they admired dinosaur fossils and mannequins dressed in pilgrim garb. They passed a large fresco of fur trappers depicting the conquest of the New World. Maz tried to relax the atmosphere by explaining the history behind various exhibits, but Rey was miles away. Her mind was elsewhere.

The evening is unrolled without their joyful laughter, without luster. The weight of Maz’s upcoming departure and Rey’s relationship woes weighed heavily on their shoulders.

Maz had a certain rendezvous to attend in the Holliday Inn parking at 8 AM, off l-90 West. After a quick breakfast at Starbucks, Rey and Maz said farewell. Rey’s eyes shone a bit much at the thought that she was being abandoned yet again.

Or was it just her again, getting attached too quickly? It was obvious from the moment the strange little woman banged against her car window that their time together was limited. This separation was inevitable—Maz headed due north and Rey due west. And she had to go home eventually, on the other side of the Atlantic, in a week.

They exchanged numbers and emails, but Maz evaded social media, and Rey limited herself to Instagram and Facebook. Maz hugged Rey thoroughly, thanking her for everything.

“Have a good trip, my adventurous girl. Remember: listen to your heart, dare to say no, and take your time. You know what it is that you want and what you’re willing to accept—you know your limits. Now, go practice what you preach!”

Rey was hardly as calm as the older woman. Coming from Maz’s mouth, everything seemed so simple. In her head, it was all so complicated. But she promised to remember this, and to do her best.

When they parted, Maz boarded a large van with three other hitchhikers as she went on her merry way.

It was still morning and Rey and BB8 had an entire day to fill. In light of the shift in schedule, she had time to call England.

The conversation with Poe was calm, almost banal. Finn was still on life support, Poe himself visited the hospital daily. His swollen eye had deflated a little, his facial wounds had healed somewhat and would leave almost no scars. Yes, he would call Rey if there was a development, any time of day or night, be the news good, bad, or ugly. She hung up and dialed Jessika afterwards.

“Where were you girl?” Jessika said by way of hello, and Rey smiled, touched by her friend’s playful jab.

“On the road. I drove a couple thousand kilometers. How’s the house?”

“Well, I finished putting together your flat. You promised to call me regularly, don’t you remember?”

“I was going to,” Rey tried to assure her.

She wasn’t sure how often she could handle calling Jessika. She had needed time for introspection, to think through her troubles alone. Talking to Jessica, even though it was fun, inevitably reminded her of her old self. The girl who was going to marry Finn and who let others live her life in her stead.

“Liar,” declared Jessica, and Rey laughed at the fact that her friend knew her well.

“No it's true. I'll call you when I get better, otherwise it's going to be quite a while,” she amended.

“What do you mean , "when I get better?" What’s wrong? Are you in trouble?”

Jess sounded sincerely worried. Rey took a deep breath...where did she leave off in her grand adventure?

“Do you remember Ben Solo?”

“The guy who did n't sleep with you ? OH. MY. GOD. Did you sleep with him ?!”

Rey’s lips split into a wicked grin. She was thoroughly enjoying her friend’s reaction. It was like an intravenous dose of endorphins. Why had she thought that that it would complicate her life?

“No,” she answered finally. “No we didn't sleep together. I mean we almost did. But not quite.”

“What do you mean? Was it just oral but no penetration?”

Straight to the point, Rey chuckled.

"Oh come on, we just kissed a little bit. Okay, kissed a lot. We did nothing, really. We stopped when...you know, they called about Finn...”

It was as though she had just thrown a bucket of cold water on the conversation. Jessika took a moment to answer.

“Yes, I know. It’s excruciating. I was furious! I was furious at him and now I’m furious at everyone except him. How are you holding up?”

“Same as you. My anger is gone. I reassure myself by thinking that Poe stays close to him these days.”

“He does a great job, you know. He comes by an hour a day to sit at his bedside, he talks to him, he reads to him and recounts the adventures you have on your trip, Rey...”

Rey was silent. She knew where Jess was going with this.

“Rey, they’re really in love. I’m sorry to have you say it so bluntly when I’d promised to kick them out of our lives and curse their names forever. You have to look at the bigger picture. Poe is now a shadow of his former self after what happened to Finn.”

“I know.”

“You know? Aren't you angry?”

Rey smiled mournfully. As incredible as it sounded, she was not angry. She was unhappy and worried, a little bit resentful—but in a normal way—very lonely, and a little lost, but she was no longer angry.

“No...I’m just sorry I couldn’t be there to support my best friend, this potato of a man that chose his best friend over me, but I don’t want him anymore. We wouldn't have been happy, as it was. He did what he had to do.”

Jessika was silent for a long time before she finally found her voice.

“Who are you madam, and what have you done with Rey?”

“No, I’m serious,” insisted Rey, amid a fit of giggles, “it's really me! I’ve been through all sorts of ridiculousness, I almost got eaten by a bear, and I have a spy from the KGB on my arse...I ended up cancelling my own wedding because my groom was gay from day one. It’s like my life can never be boring!”

"Sounds like you have much too many things to tell me,” Jessika retorted, “Start from the beginning.”

They stayed on the phone for almost an hour. Rey thought for a moment about the price that such a lengthy call would cost, but hell, she wasn’t in the mood to care. She had needed to say it out loud, to put actual words to her thoughts and her feelings and to right the chaos in her brain.

When she hung up, she felt reinvigorated. Maz’s departure stung less, the loneliness appeared less unbearable. On the downside, she hadn’t yet faced her demons regarding her relationship with one Ben Solo...

Jessika said she had to bed him now (of course). But Rey was no longer taking orders. She had to listen to her heart.

The problem was that she didn't understand what her heart was telling her.

She chose to spend the morning at Arby’s (a stereotypical western fast food restaurant with a massive cowboy hat logo) which specialized in gigantic hamburgers topped with slices of...candied bacon? The local gastronomy never ceased to surprise her. In any case, it had free WiFi and a place to plug in her smartphone.

What was she going to do with her day?

She clicked on Kylo Ren's number.

Damn, she had thought "Kylo Ren", not "Ben Solo". Should she interpret this as some kind of sign?

* good morning Ren, I'm coming tonight. We need to talk. *

Of course, every man knew "we have to talk" was never a good omen. She wanted to hear about Syed (especially why it was necessary for her to follow Rey without consent) and about the nature of their relationship. To Rey’s knowledge, he was neither her father nor her husband. Then he had better have a good explanation. But this wouldn’t be a text message conversation. She wanted to look him in the eyes.

She waited in vain for a response that did had not arrive. Browsing Google Maps, she explored the area around Bozeman and compared the prices of hotels and the campsites. She barely managed not to spit out her coffee. Seven Hells! The proximity to Yellowstone, and thus the certainty of being full in July, had pushed the average rates around the park to a staggering 250 dollars per night for a single motel room. It was beyond conceivable! She looked at the campsites, but like the hotels, they were fully booked.

Finally, by calling Canyon Campground, which was more than thirty kilometers from Bozeman, she managed to book a place for the night for just below fifty dollars. The price reflected the fact that they had no available power stations, but she didn’t mind—all she wanted was an area flat enough to pitch her tent without risking another round with the grizzlies.

Her smartphone vibrated.

* Good morning Rey. I wouldn’t come if I were you. This one is going to be mediocre. Maybe some other time? *

Rey felt herself fuming.

Was he trying to run away? Well, not if she had her way.

She typed a message, then erased it. And again, and yet again. Finally, she sent no response, put her phone away, finished her coffee and left the establishment.

She was going to play fetch with BB8, it would calm her down.

And this evening, she would see Kylo Ren, look him directly in the eyes. She would wait for the end of the concert, and they were going to have a discussion. He wasn’t getting away with this!

Kylo had been in a bad mood all day, even as he helped with the installation process at the Bozeman concert venue.

Rey wanted to come this evening and he had to stop her. Syed was capable of everything under the sun, and the worst part was that he had no idea of what she was up to. She had returned his jacket and taken her orders from Hux and Snoke instead. But what orders? Something was brewing, he was sure. He was in absolutely no mood to give a damn concert, and had found himself strangely relieved when Snoke announced the cancellation of the tour. Fine. Off with the masks...he had to keep his head clear to be prepared for any scenario that high command had in mind. Snoke’s mind was twisted. It was wild, fatal, and unpredictable. He would do well to keep his weapon within reach...he had to make the first move, finding her, cornering her, and talking her out of getting involved. But where was she?

With the amount of tension and distrust in the air, it would have been better not to go through with the concert. And yet, it made for an easy cover. Naturally, Syed would not strike from the stage, it would be far too visible. That would leave her with the opening crowd and the stragglers.

Adding Rey to this equation was the worst part. She was going to find herself in the middle of a crossfire that wouldn’t leave anyone unscathed.

His heart beat faster at the mere idea of Rey taking such a risk. And what if Syed took advantage of Rey’s presence to reach him?

He would kill her for that if she tried, with his own two hands.

Around him, the Knights of Ren were quietly working on mounting the lights. He could hear their laughter in the distance in his mind, although they were only standing a few paces away. It would be a good idea to talk to them. But it would also be an admission of weakness; was a team of five people not enough to take on Syed Ren alone? No. He was going to face her fury himself.

The more the clock turned, the more the atmosphere seemed heavy. It was time to end this, once and for all.

#Reylo #Fanfiction #Scenic Route #Modern AU

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dabistits · 5 years ago

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(1) I too get the impression that the Todoroki children avoid bringing up serious topics around Rei, probably to avoid triggering her. While understandable, I still don’t like seeing a mentally ill character being treated as fragile by the children SHE’s supposed to take care of. I wish Rei would show more initiative in discussing the issues they need to talk about.

ok, you sent me a long string of asks (the rest are blow the cut) and i can’t respond to them point by point, so i’ll just comment on some salient things. i think you bring up good points from the perspective of someone struggling with mental illness, so i certainly understand looking at characters who struggle with the same things as you and thinking about what you’d do or what you’d prefer to see, but i can’t completely get behind approaching rei’s writing from that angle.

some other things:

i don’t think avoiding triggering someone is treating them as fragile, it’s showing basic respect for their mental wellbeing. even parents deserve to have boundaries, and parents who enforce good boundaries btwn parent and child will help that child develop develop better boundaries for themselves. i know the case with the todos is a bit different, since it seems like they don’t talk about those issues at all, but i don’t want to correlate getting triggered with fragility in general.

we can’t talk about psychiatric patients seeming to be passive without addressing the larger issue, which is that psychiatric institutions largely seek to strip independence from their patients (see also the burrito test: “If you are not allowed to wake up in the middle of the night, leave your room, and microwave a burrito, you live in a prison.”). patients may not be allowed to cook or clean, and some places will not let them decide their own bedtime. female patients are frequently sexually abused. adults with severe mental illnesses are not children, but they are treated as such by neurotypical people and by the industries that are supposedly there to “help” them.

while we don’t know the exact parameters for rei’s stay at the institution and her release, knowing the way most institutions work and because of the context of her institutionalization being one where she became a danger to someone else, i doubt that she can just check herself out to be part of her childrens’ lives. we don’t even know if she’s allowed to leave the hospital on her own. i don’t think it’s great to assume the blame is on her, rather than questioning if the institution itself or if the man who put her there had a much stronger hand in curbing her independence. why is she getting blamed for separating herself from her children and not the man who abused her and had her institutionalized?

like, i do think you’re correct about many things. yes, rei is infantilized; yes, it’s patronizing for shouto to phrase his feelings as “saving” her; yes, rei is obviously excluded from her children’s lives, but… whose fault is that? why is it primarily her fault before the fault of her abuser or the fault of an abusive psychiatric industry? why is it her fault before the fault of her author? i get that you want to see her get better and be a mother who can be present in the lives of her children, but for that to happen, hori would actually have to invest in her as a character, which he seems unlikely to do.

it does bother me that there’s more criticism of rei (as though she were a real living breathing person) than her writer, who does appear to find abused women specifically to be infantile and needy. it’s not that we can’t question the behaviors of abused women toward their (possibly also abused) children, but given our cultural fixation on criticizing abused women as too complacent and too weak-willed and too stupid, i’m not terribly interested in picking apart rei’s behavior. she’s just a female character written by a male misogynist who clearly can’t be bothered to think of more than two traits for her, so… yeah, she’s going to seem nonsensical and passive a lot, because her own fucking creator can’t be bothered to write about her.

(2) As someone with a mental disorder, I have great stakes in seeing a mentally ill character strive for recovery and independence. That’s why I’ve been very critical of Rei. It bothers me how passive and immobile she is inside her hospital room. I also have issues with how the other characters treat her and talk about her.

(3) Shouto swore to “save her from this place,” but I want to see Rei take responsibility for her recovery and get herself out of the hospital as a result of her own efforts. Thus, while in-character, I nevertheless viewed Shouto’s sentiment as patronizing. At the same time, however, I see how Rei warrants this kind of attitude toward herself.

(4) I was worried that Rei accepting the flower and claiming that Enji has changed indicated that she was slipping back to her gullibility toward the honeymoon stage of abuse, that she was teaching her children to fall for these supposed peace offerings and promises to stop toxic behavior that should have never happened in the first place.

(5) Fuyumi especially seems to be following her mother’s footsteps in staying in an abusive relationship, both with her father in the present and relationships she may have in the future. That’s why I wanted Rei to warn her children to stay wary of Endeavor. Or maybe Hori thinks mentally ill people are incapable of imparting wisdom and learning from experience.

(6) If those were my kids, I would tell them to stay out of that Hell house! I would instruct Natsuo and Shouto to stay in their dorms over the weekends and ask a friend (or girlfriend in Natsuo’s case) if they could stay with them during school breaks. Now that Shouto’s living in the dorms, Fuyumi can find her own apartment, since she has a job.

(7) Though that’s assuming Endeavor doesn’t confiscate her paycheck. Endeavor may be rich, but he may still resort to financial abuse in order to hold power over his victims. I sometimes wonder if he prevented Rei from getting a job or withheld cash from her so that she would never save enough for a train ticket out of there with her children.

(8) If that’s the case, then I want to see Rei give Fuyumi tips on how to hide money from Endeavor. I once read that a woman hid dollars in a tampon box from her abusive husband until she saved enough to hire a divorce attorney. This is the kind of ingenious advice Rei could be giving her children. Instead, Horikoshi makes Rei seem unnecessary.

(9) Rei’s not involved in important family decisions. She’s not there when Shouto runs off to fight the hero killer or when Natsuo gets threatened by Ending. Everything happens without her. It gives the impression that even if she were released from the hospital, it wouldn’t make a difference in her children’s lives.

(10) In fact, it looks like Rei depends on her children more than her children need her. Fuyumi bringing Rei her laundry in the manga and light novel is supposed to be seen as sweet, but this recurrent scene infantilizes Rei as a needy mentally ill mother. I hope Rei, along with Natsuo, will at least play a big role in reaching out to Touya.

#ask #rei todoroki #mental illness #abuse /

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sunsabered · 5 years ago

Text

𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐒 && 𝐀𝐋𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 && 𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒;;;

As with a lot of people, I also have taken the liberty to make some changes to the canon shown in The Rise of Skywalker. I have been thinking about various of these changes for quite a while now and I genuinely hope they make sense at the end of the day as I am far more comfortable with this than what’s been given to us in canon. I respect anyone and their choice and this shall be mine. Under the cut all those changes, alterations and added details as well as thoiughts can be found. Please take a moment to read them.

➤ First and foremost because this needs to be said: My Rey is 𝐍𝐎𝐓 a Palpatine!! There is no relation between her and Palpatine; not by blood or in any other way!! For plot details view further below but in terms of family, this is 𝐍𝐎𝐓 a thing and never will be. ➤ Furthermore, I have come to the decision that my Rey is going to be a 𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐎𝐁𝐈. There will be a post further detailing why and how in the future because there are some details I’d like to work out about it. In the case that a Kenobi (be it Obi-Wan or someone else) is not okay with this, Rey will just be Rey from Nowhere/Rey of Jakku!! ➤ Since the movie has failed to highlight this: While Rey was training over the year in between TLJ and TROS, she has in fact come to see many of the Resistance as her friends. This includes Connix as well as Rose, while having also found to hold highest regards for some of the commanding staff such as Commander D’Acy. ➤ While speaking of time: I felt the time frame the movie worked in was rather short. I believe it was mentioned at some point that from the time they decode the message until the actual attacks it is about sixteen hours? That, to me personally, seems like a very, very short time frame to do all the things that were done in the movie and while I still think that they had to act and react in a limited time frame, I personally will see the time a bit more stretched than mere sixteen hours. ➤ Rey did 𝐍𝐎𝐓 let Beaumont Kin translate the Jedi texts. That was, in my eyes, a huge waste on C3PO and while I do not doubt that she’d have accepted outside help, her primary advisor on the Jedi texts was C3PO. I am more than willing to write out potential things in case someone makes a Beaumont but my primary idea will base on C3PO!! ➤ The Force bond is very much still a thing and has popped up every now and then over the year with Rey trying her best to avoid the whole thing but not quite capable of doing so all the time. There is a sliver of hope inside her that this can still turn toward the good but her focus lies with the resistance as she has come to see them as family. Part of her is disappointed to a degree; but she is very much unsure if her disappointment lies with Ben for choosing Kylo Ren and power or with herself for having gotten her hopes up so high with him. ➤ On the topic of calling Ben ‘Ren’ or ‘Kylo Ren’: Rey sees him and always will see him as Ben so when she talks with Leia or thinks about him, he is Ben to her. When talking to him, he is Ben. But with the fact that not everyone knows that Kylo Ren is Ben Solo, she has opted to call him Ren from time to time while talking with people from the resistance simply because she respects that in her eyes it is not her story to tell; Rey respects Leia’s choice of not going about sharing the origin story of Kylo Ren. I don’t know if this makes sense; I genuinely hope it does. In the end, Ben is Ben in her eyes. ➤ Because I don’t want to neglect the fact that at the end of TLJ Kylo Ren claimed that Rey had killed Snoke, I will have this be part of the reason as to why Rey was spending so much time at the restance base and with her training. The training was needed but being someone accused of the murder of the former Supreme leader sure has put a target on her back. Rey does go on smaller missions every now and then though. She 𝐃𝐎𝐄𝐒𝐍'𝐓 just sit around the base without ever helping!! This is important; Rey is someone who refuses to sit by idly and while training her is very much important, she would insist on coming along every now and then. ➤ The decoded message from the spy claims that it is Snoke that returned or rather, was never dead to begin with and has a whole fleet of star destroyers ready to set out and take the galaxy by force. Please read below for further information about this as I am not going with the Palpatine route at all unless discussed and even then, very unlikely to happen. ➤ 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐈𝐒 𝐀𝐍 𝐈𝐌𝐏𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐓 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄: The villain in this story is 𝐍𝐎𝐓 Palpatine. While I absolutely adore the villain of Palpatine, he is dead and should have remained as such. The movie absolutely didn’t do any favors to that character and since I feel that it does an injustice to various things and I feel that Snoke was entirely underused, the villain in this case -- (UNLESS DISCUSSED) is Snoke who has been on Exegol all along. In this case Snoke was an apprentice of Palpatine (potentially). As a former apprentice as well as someone who spent the last decades studying the dark side, he is very much capable of creating a second shape for himself. Perhaps via projection or cloning and that is what Ben killed during the throne room fight. In this case Snoke reveals himself in a twist of things. (Note: If you do insist on Palpatine, I will respect that but note that Rey will under no circumstances be his granddaughter). ➤ The fact that Poe, Finn and the others are coming along with her on the mission of finding the sith wayfinder means the world to her. While she hates the idea of risking anyone’s life but her own, she also has come to cherish these people and respects that they have to make their own choices. ➤ The events leading up to Pasaana are very much the same. They arrived, shortly after Rey has a force bond moment in which their location is revealed through a necklace. They try to escape and end up finding the hints they’d been looking for. Rey does heal the creature, already giving a bit of her life force. Chewie gets captured and when she sees a transporter leaving for the star destroyer, she panics and tries to fight for it, desperately trying to bring it back down. There will 𝐍𝐎𝐓 be any force lightning. Rey may carry around darkness but she is not a proper dark side user!! In the end it is the mix of power and emotion as well as desperation to free Chewie from the First Order that brings Rey to the point where the transporter explodes. She truly believes that she is to blame for it and the assumed death of Chewie. ➤ After that incident, her emotions are heightened. There is fear and anger and sadness over what she’s done, or rather believes to have done to, Chewie. This only makes her partially pull back. She does confide in Poe and Finn that she is terrified and feels as though something inside of her is changing. She admits to the visions she’s had about the dark side and the throne and sitting upon it. ➤ On this note: Rey very much does have visions and dreams except they’ve been getting stronger and more vivid over the year that had passed. I consider this both her manifestation of fear as well as meddling from Snoke. ➤ They still make their way to Kijimi and meet up with people of Poe’s (I personally find the spice runner story absolutely horrible but this is up to Poe muns) past. They decode the contents, the events still happen and eventually Rey senses that Chewie is still alive. This much follows canon. On the ship itself, be it via Ben or via data she finds, Rey is lead to believe that she is a child from a bloodline of dark force users and that her parents ran to protect her, sold her to protect her. While the initial abondment still stings, partially fuelling her emotions, there is also a new found feeling of knowing that they did in fact care for her to the point where they chose to sacrifice themselves so that she may live. ➤ Rey runs to reunite with the others but is cornered. The offer to join the dark side is made once more but she turns it down and leaves to find the wayfinder with the others. ➤ Upon arrival on the planet, there is tension within Rey as she fears that time is running out. Being the impulsive, emotional kind but also not wanting to put her friends at risk within the ruins of the Death Star, she makes her way across the ocean but immensely struggles with the waves before finally making her way there. ➤ Upon the Death Star, after finding the second wayfinder, Rey’s emotions have come to hit a critical amount. The vision she sees of herself on the dark side, mixed in with more visions of what could be, are so intense that she is shaken to the core with anger, frustration and fear. It only makes her desire to find her way to Exegol that much stronger. When Ben crushes the wayfinder, her emotions bubble over and in a moment of anger she trikes at him. Rey is a very emotion based person and so the fight with Ben is a mess of her emotions coming to the surface in such a strong manner that it isn’t until she stabs him and feels Leia ( I am purposely leaving this vague) that she snaps out of it. Rey has a dark side as much as she has a light side and all though she identifies more with her light side, I will very much acknowledge that there is also darkness. I hope this makes some sense. If not, feel free to let me know. ➤ After stabbing him and healing him, Rey admits to having wanted to take that hand but points out that for her it was always about Ben and not Kylo Ren. While I see potential for them to talk more, with her remarking that she feels as though she doesn’t even know herself anymore - the potential for the ‘But I do’ line, she ends up leaving him there and making her way off the planet because in that moment her mind is filled with too many emotions for her to handle. ➤ As to how the healing happens; I personally had to think of a moment in Clone Wars in which The Daughter gave her life force to Ahsoka to bring her back from the dead. Somehow along with that and the fact that Ben and Rey are a dyad in the force, I could see either of them capable of such an act; a pure thing of giving and taking - balance combined with a very light force ability. I do truly hope that my thinking makes sense. However; I will never see this ability to just be used on everything all the time. I also definitely think that it takes a greater toll out of whoever uses it, when untrained, hence the energy drain shown. ➤ After leaving she goes to Ahch-To, searching for a moment to rest and figure out what to do. Ahch-To is a place that she considers calming to the mind. The same time it seems like the perfect place to hide away in exile. The idea crosses her mind and just as she is about to set fire to her way off the island, Luke turns up. It is through Luke that she finds out that the information about her heritage was false and that truly is a Kenobi and despite her wavering in the force between light and dark, her heart is in the right place. (In a thread with a Luke this of course up to the mun!!) She still receives Leia’s saber (or perhaps even Obi-Wan’s ? I would love to have a thread like that tbh ) and leaves for Exegol, intend on stopping Snoke with new found strength and knowledge. ➤ Rey arrives of Exegol and immediately storms in, knowing the resistance is on their way. Her movements are hurried as she is both nervous and driven by emotion but intend on killing Snoke and doing what she’d been accused of having done a year ago. There is a lot that goes into this and Snoke does still tempt her with belonging and of course the safety of all those she holds dear, showing her the resistance that has arrived and is struggling in the sky above them. It is then that she feels Ben’s presence (or perhaps they arrived together - at the same time, up to the mun) and eventually, through the force bond, hands him the second saber. ➤ They eventually join up together, ready to fight Snoke who is revealed to be far more powerful than previously assumed just based on the fact that his scheming is revealed. Their bond is a bond in the force itself, a dyad and not something created by him or any other living being. It is revealed that he knew and was just aiming to use them for his purposes. He begins zapping the life force they hold between them and begins to drain them to the point where they collapse. They lie defeated for a moment but call out to the Jedi of the past, both connecting with them. ‘Be with Us’ instead of ‘Be with me’. ➤ The voice of past Jedi come flooding to them, chanting them on, telling them they can do it as a thousand generations of Jedi live on in them now, granting them the strength to lift up and face Snoke once more, stopping his lightning. Ben eventually is thrown into the abyss, with Rey worried for a second before having to face Snoke again, this time eventually summoning Ben’s saber to aid her, claiming that while he may be all the Sith, they are all the Jedi (referring to herself and Ben) and ends up frying him with his own, reflected lightning. The temple begins to break down around them. ➤ There is a moment of peace after the fight in which the dust settles and Rey looks up to the sky, now no longer filled with lightning but the resistance that is getting ready to crush the First Order/Last Order. There is relief before she turns toward the pit that Ben got thrown into. The idea crosses her mind to move toward it and see if he is okay but before that she collapses from her injuries and exhaustion from overextended force usage; her last thoughts being of Ben, Finn, Poe and the resistance - hoping they will all be happy and fine from here on out. ➤ Rey 𝐃𝐎𝐄𝐒 die after the fight! That is very much still a thing. I feel that if you combine everything she’s gone through -- from healing Ben and the creature in the desert, to the fact that her life force had been zapped and the fact that the temple around them is collapsing -- she is simply exhausted and hurt. With the knowledge that the resistance is safe, Rey considers this a sacrifice worth making. Exhaustion and having your life force zapped can take one hell of toll on you; in my eyes, anyway. Not to mention the fact that she did have a head wound at the end which I think is rather realistic considering the fact that the temple was quite literally falling down around them. ➤ Ben Solo does 𝐍𝐎𝐓 die or rather does 𝐍𝐎𝐓 remain dead!! I will of course leave it up to the Ben muns out there whether he gets help from his family’s force ghosts or if he never dies to begin with. There may be exception threads in which, after discussion, I will write Ben as having died 𝐁𝐔𝐓 those will be far and few in between. A very, very rare occurrence as I personally think Ben shouldn’t have died but gotten a chance to work on things. ➤ While I personally consider the kiss between them a canon thing, I will not assume that it happened unless the Ben mun is alright with it. It was a moment of relief and happiness so I very much think it is realistic to have happened. ➤ They leave Exegol together, both alive but weakened. There is a lot to rebuild and Rey intends to do her best to let the galaxy know that they are safe once more. Whether Ben comes along to the resistance or not is up to the Ben mun of course. Either way there is a lot to talk about between the two of them and all the others. ➤ Rey does indeed end up making her own lightsaber in the warmest orange; as happy and radiant as the sun itself because it reflects her inner values and ideas (I will make a proper post on that eventually; I just have a lot of thoughts on the matter). It ➤ Months pass in which Rey trains harder, with Ben (up to the mun) but eventually decides that it is time to lay the sabers (depending on what route to go with, this means either Leia’s, the legacy saber and Obi-Wan’s or just Luke and Leia’s) to rest. They travel to Tatooine, retrieving a flask of sand outside the Lars homestead before making their way to Naboo. Based on what they both know and learned, they bury the sabers along with the vial of sand (representing the beginning) and something representing Alderaan in a small grave with a memorial stone near the lake of Varykino. Rey does not take the name Skywalker but instead acknowledges that she is a Kenobi, intending to tell the tales of the legend of Skywalker, intending to let the name itself rise as something good across the galaxy once more. If any living soul is someone to rise as Skywalker it is Ben, as in Ben Solo rising as the heir to a Skywalker legacy. Thank you, to heartsabered!! For letting me read through hers for guidance.

#tros spoilers #a broadcast for the galaxy ✖ { psa }#the rise of skywalker spoilers #this got wordy #i apologize for that #i tried to keep this as rey focused as i can as this is not me trying to write for someone else's character #know that i love all the characters out there tho so #feel free to let me know your thoughts

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