#The electoral college better not pull some; popular vote day this dude but we say that dude

[very-stressed]

Are the Americans just dragging it out for suspense now? Cause if they are, they are doing an exquisite job, I'm on the edge of a meltdown.

[theperplexedpoet]

How the Stench Stole Democracy - a new poem story (with respect to Dr. Seuss)

every Blue up on Hillville liked voting a lot but the Stench atop the hill simply did not the Stench hated voting the whole voting season now, please don’t ask why no one quite knows the reason

it could be, perhaps, loss of popular vote it could be his brain and that shit is just broke but I think that the most likely reason of all like his hands, his heart was two sizes too small

but whatever the reason heart or votes of the few he stood looking down on and hating the Blues tweeting out from his cave with a drawn Stenchy glower seeing participation as a threat to his power

for he knew every blue up on Hillville’s plains was now busy running a Please Vote Blue Campaign “and they’re posting their platforms” he snarled with a sneer “next year will be Vote Day! it’s practically here!”

then he growled, with his Stench fingers nervously drumming “I must find some way to keep Vote Day from coming!” now I know what you’re thinking with your groans and your boos rolling your eyes at this obvious fake news

for you like this Stench this self-righteous dude who hates all the same groups and ideas you do so you bandwagon’d in despite the narrator warning all against this would-be dictator

“this is step number one!” the old Stenchy, he hissed “the old college buy with an electoral twist” still all of the scandals put him in a pinch but that wouldn’t stop the slow grow of the Stench

they held up the rug he could sweep it all under for they saw their moment and all felt it thunder as he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant gaslighting a public that he refused to represent

and hard to work they went the Stench and his cronies tearing down truth and justice like a bunch of jabronies with racist wall building and border patrols, concentration camps, and acting without souls

no matter the facts they would just erase ‘em script ones of their own to soundbite and replace ‘em so what the truth was the public had no trace and then all they need do was to control their base

keep ‘head of the threats to the Stench’s cold reign and decry the lack of fairness to the vote blue campaign make villains of victors like those at the border chip away at the rest through Executive Order

demonize the press just to protect his image for that full base control no matter the visage to ally or axis the Stench must reign supreme so they control access to the American Dream

so they know that we will be turned on each other convinced our strife’s born from the rise of another all fighting the wrong fight attentions distracted so we did not see what the Stench had enacted

despite all the red flags that were raised by the Blues for the Stench had convinced all that this was fake news resistance was silenced dissent all but banned so the Stench got away with all he had planned

“pooh-pooh to the Blues!” he was stenchily humming “they’re finding out now that no Vote Day is coming! they may be getting woke but it is far too late! the snowflakes will melt down, and I cannot wait!

that's a noise,” stank the Stench, “that I simply must hear!” raising one tiny hand there cupped up to his ear and oh, there was a noise that shook his core of existence for all that he heard was a voice of resistance

“how could this be?!” the Stench wondered aloud “was I not clear, that this was in no way allowed!?!” and true, though it was such acts had been silenced more Blues had awoken under such acts of violence

the Stench’s spell was broken from Hillville and beyond they saw the steep slope this all had been built upon the strings being pulled right from the beginning so the Stench could redefine the meaning of winning

and what happened then? well, in Hillville, they say, that’s when they all took the Stench’s power away and the meaning of democracy finally returned the Stench found himself sentenced for the crimes of his term

and his complicit cronies with their grapes so sour all lost their seats too at the tables of power everything was brought back endangered lives were saved for he, himself, the Stench had dug out this grave

and all the Blues rejoiced across the land seizing democracy from his tiny, tyrannical hands and righting the ship locked on better shores for this was long needed the Stench was no more!

(12/15/19)

[becauseelephants-blog1]

Surfing Sumatrans

As soon as I walked onto Kuta Beach yesterday, a guy renting surfboards started hollering at me, trying to guess where I was visiting from. I said I was from America and he told me to grab a seat and sit with him and his friends. I was there to watch the sunset and I had almost two hours to kill, so I pulled over a chair and started chatting with the three guys, Bronx, Danny, and Okie. They were ~27 years old, from Sumatra, and had been in Bali for 5 to 7 years because the economy is better and they can send money home to their families. I ended up hanging out with them (and a half-dozen of their friends who swung by for a few minutes here and there) until sunset. It was a weak sunset, but learning about these dudes made the trip to Kuta totally worth it.

Notes: - Okie asked if I was mixed and I asked what he meant. He said I was American but was I mixed with something else, like Indian? I explained that both of my parents are from India but I was born in the US. I tried to understand whether they thought that being American meant I was saying I was white, but I couldn’t really get to the bottom of it. - I talked to Bronx for the longest; he was the initial one called me over. He’d been away from Sumatra for 7 years, and is going to go back for the third time next summer when his sister gets married. It’s a three-hour flight. - A bunch of these Sumatran guys live together and their expenses are about $100 per month. They charge about $5 per hour for surfboard rentals, and $20 per hour for lessons. On a good day, in the high season, they’ll pull in a hundred bucks. Yesterday, literally nothing. - They work 12 hours a day, seven days a week. I was basically drowning in privilege. - They said that I was one of the friendliest Americans they had met (and the only American they had met in a few months). They asked me why Americans were so unfriendly (compared to Europeans and Australians) and I came up with a list of reasons but I was not particularly proud of my country in that moment. I posited that it’s because Americans (a) are not used to vendors/hawkers on beaches so it makes them uncomfortable, and they don’t want to stop to talk, assuming they’ll be pressured to buy stuff, (b) are generally not very well traveled so are awkward in other countries, and © often come to Bali for romantic reasons so maybe just want to be left alone. Other theories? - Bronx was one of the few Indonesians I’ve met who has left Indonesia - he went to Melbourne once, with his boss. Okie said he had been to LA and I asked when and he said “in my dreams.” I was basically drowning in privilege. - Bronx didn’t know his name was a borough of NYC. Before we talked about it, I had assumed it was a nickname. Nope. - Bali is primarily Hindu, while Indonesia is primarily Muslim, and I learned that Sumatra is primarily Christian. - One guy, who seemed a little older (like my age) and hung out for about 20 minutes, was leering at me and a bit uncomfortably flirty, but other than him, the rest of the guys just wanted to chat. No one else tried to sell me anything or get my number or made me uncomfortable in any way. So incredibly refreshing. - Their English was great, mostly from talking to tourists. At some point we talked about endangered animals, starting with the Sumatran tiger. And I mentioned that elephants get poached for their tusks and the guys didn’t know the word “tusk.” Okie asked me what a rhinoceros horn was called (through gestures) and then quipped “‘Horn’? Not 'horny’?” And started giggling. Apparently, boys everywhere have the same sense of humor. - Bronx was surprised I got sunburned. He thought brown skinned people couldn’t. I thought that too… until I was 18. - When spelling stuff, we wrote words in the sand. - There were massive piles of garbage near the beach entrances and I asked if that’s what it was always like by the end of the day, and they explained that they don’t know what’s going on but the trash hasn’t been picked up in about a week because of some government issue. - Bronx with extremely confused about how Trump lost the popular vote but still became president elect. I learned that explaining the Electoral College is pretty embarrassing. Bronx: “It should be one vote for each person.” Tell me about it. [There will be a separate Trump post, and another about Balinese food] - At sunset, I walked down to the edge of the water to snap some photos and when I left, the guys were breaking down their stands, and we said bye with highfives all around - no hugs, no numbers exchanged - just an enlightening afternoon of single serving friends.