#The bans really didn't do shit huh?

[pixelraster64]

[formosusiniquis]

This one goes out to that old guy I saw at walmart yesterday loading up his pioneer woman cookware onto his motorcycle while enter sandman played

steddie | G | WC: 1154

---

“Hey baby, can you?”

“No.”

Steve's sweet tone sours immediately returning to the much more familiar gently bitchy tone Eddie knows and loves. “You don't even know what I was gonna ask.”

“Twenty-five years of marriage, lawful and not, Sunshine. I know when you're about to ask me for some shit we don't need.”

“Why would I be calling you if we didn't need it?”

“Because if you needed it you would have told me about it when I said, ‘Stevie, sweetie, light of my life, sun to my dawn,’” he looks around trying to figure out where the hell they moved the oranges and why the produce section is never in the same configuration anytime he comes here. He makes eye contact with a kid wearing an artificially faded printing of his own tour merch looking at him with a starry eyed look of recognition not of the celebrity but of family.

“Did you forget where you were going with that old man?”

He decides he might as well put on a show, both halves of this conversation already know he's going to do what he's told. “‘Stevie, my one truth north, my muse, my reason to continue living, my dearest husband, I'm going to Walmart,’ I told you not but thirty minutes ago and asked if you needed me to get you anything and you said no.”

“Oh, you aren't going to monologue for your adoring public all the sweet names I called you?” Steve is amused, he can tell, he's always been able to tell. He's accepting this as his penance for not giving Eddie an actual grocery list when he left.

“Well dear heart I am in public, but if you think we can find another grocery store to go to after getting banned from this one. I guess there is the Kroger on the other side of town.” The kid laughs, tries to hide it behind their hand, but if Eddie has had anything in this life it's experience with teens eavesdropping on conversations they shouldn't be.

“Oh you're really hamming it up, huh, Teddy. Can I tell you what you're getting me yet or do you still have a couple minutes in your set?”

He's given up on oranges, moves on to the onion he actually came here for, the lone ingredient for dinner that he'd forgotten from his clicklist. If they want to actually have the roast tonight it needs to start soon. “What is it that you remembered we needed, oh song of my heart.”

“I already sent you the link so you get exactly what I want.”

It's just ominous enough of a non-answer that he pulls his phone out of his pocket, juggling it and the five things he'd already grabbed that weren't on his one item list. He doesn't have the time to regret not grabbing the cart he was sure he hadn't needed when he sees what he's been sent.

“I'm on my bike! Where am I going to put that?”

“I'm sorry, am I hearing you correctly? Was I right when I said, ‘Teddy bear, my stars, my bard-’”

“You aren't on speaker.”

“My beloved damsel in distress, maybe the motorcycle isn't the most efficient of midlife crisis vehicles. Aren't you going to want something with more trunk space, why don't you get a Caddy or a Bimmer for old times sake. And what did you say?”

“I don't recall.”

“Probably for the best wouldn't want you banned from Walmart, what would the tabloids say?”

“Nothing that would match your wit, Sweetheart. Does it have to be this one?”

“Yes, the plaid matches the kitchen remodel, so be a good boy and strap it to your bike. And remember we've still got one kid to put through school if she decides to go, don't bring home any strays with you. Do you need to do your encore now, baby?”

“I accept your quest, my dashing prince. I shall return home with my bounty posthaste.” Encore complete, audience still enraptured, Eddie dips into the sincere. It's been nearly thirty years together and he's not once ended a call without saying, “I love you.”

“Love you too, my knight in denim battle vest. I'll see you when you get home.”

The call ends with the usual dull toned beep beep, the playlist the call interrupted starts to filter back into his earbud. He realizes he's going to have to walk right past the kid to get to the side of the store with Steve's Instant Pot.

“Hear they're about to have a reunion tour,” he says gesturing down at the reprint of their Came Back Wrong Tour shirt. The faux-fading has left a crack through his own face at the bottom making him unrecognizable, not that he looks the same now as he did at 25. “Those old bands just don't know how to retire.”

“I think it's smart that they're playing up the recent tik tok fame.” The kid says, “No one's even seen their lead singer since the 90s and after their first national tour he'd started wearing that mask.”

It hurts a little bit the way the kid says 90s like it's some bygone era lost to time. Tries to appreciate instead how good the mask idea had been, he'd really been an innovator. “That was a pretty sweet gimmick, you think he'll bring it back? It's kind of Orville Peck's thing now isn't it.”

The kid slumps, managing the impressive feat of looking desolate while standing over the tomatoes. “Probably, not that I'll see it. I couldn't manage to get a ticket.”

That is something he can fix, “Here,” he manages to grab ahold of his wallet, “as luck would have it, I've got a couple spares.”

The kid looks torn between fear and elation, it's likely at least the second strangest thing to ever happen to them in a Walmart. “Oh I can't-”

“No strings, I got it through work for my sister-in-law to go with my husband. She asked why none of the good bands ever have reunion tours so… not going obviously. And my husband insists he's too old to be that close to the stage. You'd be doing me a favor really.”

“If you're sure,” they say, the hesitance more a mannered necessity than real.

“Sure as shooting. Seriously, here give me your name so my husband knows who to make the thank you note out to.”

“Aspen, thank you really!”

Twenty minutes later when he’s got a kitchen appliance bungied to the back of his bike he’ll appreciate that something good came out of this. Three weeks later when he’s standing at the front of a sold out arena he’ll mostly appreciate another chance to be dramatic, “This next one is for Aspen who didn’t laugh when an old man tried to flirt with his husband in the produce aisle. Gareth, count me in.”

[ameraincandy]

💗 𝒱𝟣𝓇𝓉𝓊𝒶𝓁 𝑔𝒾𝓇𝓁𝒻𝓇𝒾♡𝓃𝒹❣ ! 💗

Synopsis: What is it like for your favorite characters to have a streamer girlfriend? /⁠ᐠ⁠｡⁠ꞈ⁠｡⁠ᐟ⁠\

Characters: Modern C.E.O. Yae miko & Rival streamer Scaramouche.

!tw!: NSFW under the cut, mentions of established relationships, special toys, and head. (Ifykyk) mostly wholesome though.

𝐂.𝐄.𝐎.! 𝐘𝐀𝐄 𝐌𝐈𝐊𝐎 🌸

Occasionally, Miko didn't have a problem with you being a streamer. In fact, she's the one that suggested it since she knew your potential of being one, some may call it her scouting skills for talent. So with the use of her..."persuasion" , you finally caved in to her with a shaky sigh as you've begun to use one of the many expensive streaming equipment she bought for you. Thanks to miko, you weren't a deadbeat freeloader of a girlfriend to her anymore with the amount of superchats you were receiving! Aside from the fact that most donations came from her though...

NSFW under this!

You let out a quiet whimper as you felt your legs shift uncomfortably against the vibrator that miko had slipped inside you. Per request to a loyal viewer of yours, one of tonight's streams was a gaming stream to a famous horror indie game of their choosing! Despite not favoring horror, you did your best to navigate the game's mechanics... although you missed out on the fact that your girlfriend had that mischievous look in her eyes as soon as you got that donation, tricking you somehow into that punishment of hers...

”T-thank you for the s-super..ah-superchat! Darklord69, yeah! I'll beat this level in no time-ee..time...“

Your voice crooked as you squeezed your legs shut to stop the miniscule of vibrations, praying to god that it won't be obvious to the camera or else you'll be banned for life!

Miko, on the other hand seemed to be enjoying herself as she sat across from behind the monitor, testing the waters by lightly pressing each setting on the remote controlled vibrator....ignoring the way you would shoot panicked glances at her direction, begging...begging for her to stop! Yet to your dismay, Miko would only press a finger to her lips; signaling for you to stay quiet.

”Nnmmp...” But luckily for you, none of your viewers seem to be none the wiser when you took a quick look at the stream's chat box, they probably thought you were just really scared of the game you were playing, not the other absurd fact that you were about to squirt all over the computer screen.

“Fuu-FUCK!~“ you jumped out of your seat with a loud cuss falling head first under your desk after a jump scare was shown, then chat was flooded with several “R.I.P.“'s, “LMAO“'s and ”IS SHE OKAY??"'s messages.

The stream soon ended abruptly after that fiasco. While your girlfriend approached your fucked-dumb state with a grin.

“Enjoyed yourself little one?~ You sure did put on quite a show...“

Miko teased as she knelt down to quiet your pants with a feverish kiss that caused you to let out a guttural moan, her free hand pulled the vibrator outside as white liquid oozes out of your legs..♡

𝐑𝐈𝐕𝐀𝐋-𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐑! 𝐒𝐂����𝐑𝐀 👾

Before you were a well-known streamer, you were a surprise occurrence in Scaramouche's streams at random given times, riling up his viewers as you were known as that mysterious girlfriend of his, adding more to their curiosity by not showing your face and entice them with only the lower half of yourself.

Off-screen however, you would jokingly tease Scaramouche with remarks such as; “The viewer count seems to rise whenever I appear on screen you know?“ chuckling as you show him the cockiest smirk known to man, enabling Scaramouche to give you a sarcastic laugh.

“You brat, who do you think you're talking to huh?“

When he said those words to you, your brain (and cunt) automatically knew that you were in deep shit from the way his fingertips found it's place under your chin, all to just sink his nails in the flesh juust a bit...tilting your head upwards to reveal a condescending smirk.

“Why don't you try being a streamer hm?“

Yet, to Scaramouche's disappointment, your debut as a streamer fared far better than he expected; not soon after your viewer count was rising in numbers, not to mention that bastardly amount of simps that contributed to your boyfriend's dismay. As if karma was going to bite him in the ass, some of your viewers raided his streams chat box with links to your stream instead. Since then, there has been a running joke that you two are each other's mortal enemies.

Don't get him wrong however, despite the petty rivalry you two show on streams together... Scaramouche doesn't hate that you're a streamer. Your boyfriend just dislikes those types of scummy eyes watching his girlfriend's content with obvious unhinged thirst. So he found a way to fix that.

NSFW under this!

Scaramouche didn't know what kind of sick fuck he was with the way he was reeling in the sight of you completely wasted after he spent hours throatfucking you, brashly wiping away the tears that swelled in your eyes from after you attempted to push his shaft down inhumanely deeper than it already was. You can tell that he was about to cum for the 5th time that night with his thrusts getting sloppier and his pace having seemed to vanish.

“H-hah! I've always known you were a whore... honestly I- oooh god..!” Scaramouche gritted his teeth after you unexpectedly flattened your tongue on the tip of his cock, deliciously drenching it in your saliva just as he likes it~

The back of your throat slaps against his cock that elicited a groan to vibrate around him that added a lot more to his pleasure; just before he could spill his seed, he clumsily slipped out in time and forced your mouth open with his fingers, letting out a breathless laugh as Scaramouche coats your pretty face in his cum.

“Ffuuuck...that was amazing haahh..“ Scaramouche lovingly cupped your cheek as he places the stray hair behind your head while catching his breath, he could feel his dick growing hard again by just admiring his bratty girlfriend all over his control, picking you up in his arms to rapidly throw you on the mattress all the while scattering kisses between your thighs as a rushed apology from how much he was going to ruin you tonight. Although what Scaramouche wanted to confess was actually a protest to you continuing streaming...why need hundreds of eyes adoring you when he has been doing so all this time and better? (Not-so-Regretfully) It has been muffled from the amount of orgasms you two had that night, it was probably for the best anyways.

Since you didn't even notice that blinking red light on your monitor the entire time.

-♡

[alloftheimaginesblog]

Headcanons for being Tony Stark's daughter and dating Pietro Maximoff...

Your relationship stays secret for the first few months. Well actually, it's only really a secret to your dad. You know that your dad - the infamous Tony Stark - will react badly to the news that you're dating Pietro so you swear everyone else to secrecy.

Secret glances across the room as Tony and Steve lead a meeting.

Sneaking off during the meetings to make out in the hall way... You've almost been caught a bunch of times through doing this but the sneaking around is fun.

Pietro makes you happier than you ever thought you could be. Even just a few months in and you're planning your future together.

He's sweet, he's so incredibly sweet to you.

He loves you, loves everything about you. He thinks you're the most beautiful person in the world and he feels so lucky to have you.

The rest of the group have a bet on when Tony finds out and how he finds out.

Nat thinks that Bruce will spill the beans.

Clint thinks he'll walk in on you and Pietro making out.

Wanda thinks that Pietro himself will give the game away by accident.

In fact, it's Peter Parker that gives the game away.

"How long has your daughter been dating Quicksilver? That must be pretty cool, huh? Always got your eye on them sorta thing."

You could've killed Parker.

Tony hunts you both down and he's angry, god he's so pissed off but he's probably more angry that you didn't tell him.

"Dad, you threatened to kill my fourth grade boyfriend! We were kids! Why would I tell you about my serious boyfriend now?"

Pietro tries his best to reason with Tony but he's shit scared of him and runs every time Tony tries to corner him for a chat.

Eventually, Tony manages to pin him down and interrogates him.

"What do you want with my daughter?"

"I care about her, sir. I don't want to hurt her-"

"If you hurt her, I will rip you apart limb from limb-"

"I love her, Tony. I'm not going to hurt her."

When Tony realises the seriousness of your relationship, he seems to reconsider. He comes to you, asking all sorts of questions about whether you love him, about whether he's good to you or not, if he takes good care of you, if he makes you happy... He's satisfied with your answers and leaves you be but he's not okay with it all yet.

Tony bans the two of you from being alone together which means that sneaking around gets even harder.

He probably tries to break you up or at least complains every chance he gets. He's oh so dramatic.

If he sees the two of you smiling at each other, he pretends to puke. Pepper has to have a few stern conversations with him to get him off of your backs.

During a fight, you're put in danger and Tony can't get to you in time but it's okay because Pietro does everything he can, including getting himself hurt, to keep you safe and to protect you.

After that, Pietro has Tony's respect. He understands the seriousness of your feelings for the other and he knows it's not just a fling. He leaves your relationship alone.

Pietro helps him in the lab to build something and after that, the pair of them start to bond and grow closer.

It's nice to know that you don't have to hide your relationship from him anymore and that the three of you can hang out without any ill feelings.

He calls Pietro 'son'.

It takes a while but Tony soon becomes your relationship's biggest supporter. He'll be the one who helps Pietro propose, he'll be the one who pays for your wedding and honeymoon, jets you both off somewhere warm and sunny. He grows to love Pietro and grows to love your relationship almost as much as he loves you.

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

got any more empath reader?

Only because there's rampant plot bunnies for it in my brain. I have an abundance of much more polite asks.

"You okay?" Dick asked, careful not to touch you as he got close enough to speak in your ear- to be heard above the din. You were drowning in an oversized hoodie and that usually meant "Do not. I am not real today."

You half shrug and give him a wan smile, "About as okay as it gets after a blow out."

"It was a good one, huh." He rubbed the back of his neck and leaned against the wall. You exuded calm he knew you didn't feel. And it was nice. He felt better, and he appreciated it. That benefit of your odd little empathic quirk.

Bruce had banned you from doing it to the WHOLE manor all at once, but, it was a little difficult for him to stop you from doing it in your immediate vicinity.

"What was Jason like before?" you ask, tucking your knees up under your hoodie and wrapping your arms around yourself. There's no judgement in the question, just curiosity. From someone else that had felt a part of themself die on a filthy floor.

"Annoyingly cheerful," Dick snorted. "Tough though. Street smart. Idealistic and brave to a fault. It's like he was made in a lab to be Robin. I got the job by Tragedy. Jason got the job because Bruce- well frankly I think Bruce was lonely and saw a scrappy kid who stole his tires and just went 'welp guess I'm a dad again'. And we all know Tim just bullied his way in." He broke off and shook his head. "He didn't really mean what he said about-"

"You and Steph call me a Science experiment all the time," you point out.

"Yeah," Dick admitted, wincing. "But it didn't go wrong. What they did to you was wrong. They way they did it was wrong. What you can do is cool as shit... You're not a walking Xanax. That's not what we keep you around for."

When you don't look at him, nodding silently, he wonders what you're picking up. How deep you can dig through a person for their buried feelings. And exactly what it COSTS to know that information all the time. "I think I'm gonna go on a walk for a while."

" 'Kay," Dick said easily, "Planning on comin' back for dinner?" Rambles were good. And not uncommon. They gave you time to clear your head.

"I'm not sure," you admit, "but I should be back before dark."

Dick nodded, "I'll tell Bruce. I don't think he wants you on Patrol for any particular reason. You're probably just on stand by." With any luck, Dick thought, they'd never put you with Jason. That would be catastrophic.

[ghostboneswrites2]

A Mess || Part 2

New account! @ghostbones was banned! Transferring everything here starting with this series since it was the most popular!

Summary: You make amends with Daryl as you grapple with the insecurities and psychological damage in the aftermath of your husband's affair.

18+ MDNI || WARNINGS: profanity, aggressive Shane

        You only used his tent for one night, the guilt of that alone setting in. You shouldn't have put him on the spot like that, he was only being kind, a rarity from him. He made an effort to stay away from the others, and the one time he went out of his way to be kind it backfired.

        You hadn't spoken to him since that night, nearly three days ago. You also heavily avoided anyone else. You didn't stay in the RV either. Glenn found you a new sleeping bag and Daryl made you a makeshift tent from a tarp, far from the others as you requested, but not so far that it was unsafe. You stayed there most of the time, only leaving to help the other women with laundry or to eat. And, really, you hadn't ate much. You'd fetch your own water and boil it, and you'd only eat when someone brought you something. 

        Lori avoided you like the plague, but you had to give her credit -- she took the judgmental stares from the others quite well. If you were her, not that you ever would have been, you'd have snapped at someone by now.

        You hadn't ate anything all day. It was getting later, the sun slowly sinking, painting the sky in hues of orange and purple. You watched the pink clouds as they rolled over, stomach growling. You just couldn't bring yourself to face anyone after your outburst. It was humiliating to be cheated on, and to announce it like that. Had you really been that undesirable? What was it about her? Her cheekbones, her perfect teeth, her long legs?

        She definitely had more going on in the body department. Even with the recent loss of weight you had all experienced due to lack of food, she still had curves. You, however, were dwindling to say the least. Your recent hunger strike wouldn't help, of course, but it didn't matter now. Who did you have to impress?

        "Still some squirrel." A familiar voice rasped from overhead. You looked up at Daryl. 

        "No thanks." You said. Your voice was small and tired, your eyes sunken in and dressed with dark bags. You were a pitiful sight.

        "Really gonna let them assholes do this to ya?" He asked. "Ya look like shit."

        "Must be nothing new, or my husband wouldn't have fucked someone else." You scoffed. 

        "Don't do that."

        "Do what? I'm not fishing for compliments. If it was so bad his mind had to wander in the middle of the end  of the world.." You shook your head, tightening your jaw as you shivered. You were lacking in iron lately with the absence of any kind of nutrition, so as soon as the sun began to set you felt cold.

        "Didn't say ya were." He shrugged. He glanced around the camp. People were cleaning up their dishes and getting the fire down to a small flame. Shane was staring at the two of you, as he often did when Daryl was anywhere near you. 

        Daryl sighed and sat crisscross in the dirt in front of you. Your empty eyes fell on his, and for a moment, he felt a twinge of actual sympathy. Jesus, you were a mess.

        "Eat." He demanded, handing you an old tin can with some squirrel in it.

        "Not hungry." You denied.

        "Quit bein' a kid and eat." He insisted. You stared at him blankly for a while before you took a little piece of rodent meat and chewed it slowly.

        "Tastes weird." You complained.

        "Yeah, it's tree rat." He said, matter of fact.

        "Gross." You scrunched your nose.

        "Uh-huh. World's gross. Keep eatin'."

        "Why are you doing this?" You sighed.

        "Quit askin' questions and eat."

        You took another piece and began chewing. It wasn't that bad, but it was strange.

        "I'm sorry." You apologized.

        "For what?"

        "The other night. Putting you on the spot." You admitted.

        He just nodded and watched you grab another piece of meat. 

        "People act out when they're hurt." He finally said, somewhat reassuringly, at least for him.

        "It's no excuse. You offered me help and I took advantage of that. I'm sorry." You repeated.

        "Ain't that deep. C'mon, finish up." He urged, nodding his head to the little can that had one last piece of meat in it. You took it and got it over with.

        "Needs salt." You criticized.

        "Next time I come 'cross a salt shaker in the woods I'll grab it." He retorted, taking the can and standing up. 

----

        Everyone was asleep so you took the opportunity to go down to the quarry and wash up. It was nice to wash the sweat and dirt that accumulated on your skin away. It was also just nice to feel like all the stress from the past few days was melting away. If only it was a hot spring instead of a cold quarry.

        You got yourself dressed quickly, fearing any wandering eyes. Sometimes Ed liked to watch the girls take a bath, but you were pretty sure he was asleep. You didn't go straight back to camp, though. You sat by the water, knees curled up to your chest. You were chilly and damp, but it was still peaceful.

        You took the time alone to finally let it out -- the anger and frustration, the hurt, the humiliation, and most of all -- the self doubt. Insecurity had taken over your mind, tugging at every corner. You were never that self conscious before. You never really dealt with rejection, and getting a boyfriend was never much of a hassle. You weren't a supermodel by any means, you were pretty average, but you were still attractive and secure enough in your self image that you didn't struggle too much with it. Even before the outbreak, those nights you suspected Shane got a little too much attention at the bar, you never assumed it would be about you, but more so his lack of self control.

        This with Lori was different, though. There was more to it, something he wanted from you that you simply didn't have. You felt the lump in your throat grow sharper and more painful as tears began to glide down your cheeks, little sniffles breaking away here and there. You wanted to scream, to sob, to throw things and punch people. You couldn't risk drawing any attention to yourself, though. That would surely be a win for the opposing team.

        "The hell ya doin' out here? I made ya a tent, woman." Daryl asked. You jumped a little. You didn't hear him wander up.

        You quickly wiped your cheeks, hoping the moon wasn't bright enough to illuminate the tears.

        "Oh, I was just..." You sighed. "Just crying like an idiot over two other idiots." You mumbled in defeat, looking down at the ground. 

        Daryl looked around awkwardly. He wasn't really the comforting type. The hell was he supposed to do with a crying lady?

        "I could still kill 'em." He shrugged. You couldn't help the laugh that leaked out.

        "Could, but then they'd crucify you." 

        "They don't already?" He retorted. You nodded. He had a point. "Shouldn't be cryin' over them."

        "You don't get it. We're -- We were married. I -- I thought we were happy. We never fought, he never yelled at me or hit me. He --" You had to stop, that painful lump rising in your throat again. You reminisced the thirty seconds Daryl had managed to free you from tears. Your eyes stung. "I just.." You began to cry again.

        He just stood there, debating whether or not he should just walk away. He had bigger things to worry about. Then again, not really. Hunt, sleep, repeat. That was pretty much his routine.

        "I know she'd prettier and has nicer tits but god damn it why was it so easy for him?" You vented between quiet sobs and sniffles. "I mean, I could have never hurt him that way. And I damn sure wouldn't have treated him so bad afterward."

        You buried your face in your knees, hugging yourself tight. Then, you realized who you were blubbering to.

        "God, I'm sorry. You don't have to listen to this. I'm fine." You rambled.

        " 'S okay." He said, sitting down beside you. "Get it out if ya need to."

        You just cried and cried, not baring to look his way and see him probably judging you. A guy like that would surely have better things to do than sit there while you whined about love while the world was falling apart around you. Then, it hit you; "Why are you sitting here listening to this? You're free to go, you don't owe me anything."

        You hated how your voice crackled and shook, so high pitched with the restriction of tears and misery.

        "I know." He shrugged.

        "Then why?"

        "Want me to go?" He asked.

        "I don't know." You admitted, frustrated with the overwhelming diversity of emotions. The truth was that you liked having someone who was willing to be in your presence. Most people just gave you sad looks or stared with curious eyes, no doubt having heard about the other night.

        "Nothin' wrong with a li'l company." He assured you. " 'M Sure it's hard."

        "The hardest part isn't even the betrayal it's... It's what your mind does to you afterward." You explained. He nodded.

        "Like what?"

        "Like.." You shook your head, chuckling dryly at your stupid brain. "It's stupid."

        "Lotta things are stupid. What's on your mind?"

        "It's just.. Why? Why now? I mean, I'm alive, I'm here. I get why Lori needed someone but he had me. Every night I made the sleeping bag up. I always let him use up the pillow so he wouldn't be sore the next day. I woke up when he did so he wouldn't have to feel alone in the mornings. I made sure he had water first thing, always saved a few bites of my food for him because I knew he'd still be hungry. She doesn't do any of that. She doesn't wash his clothes for him, or make sure to sew the holes in his socks. She doesn't--"

        "She ain't you." He summed you up. You nodded. "Sounds like his loss, then."

        "But, was it? I mean, I'm practically a pile of bones, here. And my teeth aren't straight and --"

        "Nah. Can't do that. You'll go crazy pickin' yourself apart like that."

        "But -- I just don't understand." You groaned.

        "Don't need to. Probably wont, ever. People like that don't make no damn sense."

        "I feel so..."

        "Pissed off?"

        "Yeah, but also.. Just sad. And insecure." You mumbled the last part.

        "Insecure 'bout what? Bad taste in men?" He scoffed. You rolled your eyes.

        "About me, asshole."

        "What about you?" He pushed his eyebrows together. He didn't see anything wrong with you.

        "I don't know. That's what's killing me. I don't know what made me not good enough all of a sudden." 

        "Ain't got nothin' to do with you. Some guys just... Don't know a good thing when they got it."

        "Yeah, well, I'm starting to think maybe I'm not that good." You said, pushing yourself up to your feet. "I'm going to bed. Coming?"

        "To your bed?" He joked, standing himself up.

        "Thought you weren't rebound dick." You teased, walking ahead of him. He scanned you up and down from the back. You were thin, sure, but given the circumstances you still looked good. From the back, at least. He never took the time to check you out from the front. He shook his head.

        " 'M not." He agreed. "And I snore, so.."

        "Yeah, you and every other man in this camp. Surprised walkers haven't found us yet with all the noise at night. It's like a damn symphony of hogs."

        "Nah, hogs squeal."

        "Okay, swine expert." You rolled your eyes. You stopped in front of the tent he made for you and looked down at it for a moment. "Thanks for this, by the way."

        "Weren't nothin'." He said.

        "Well it's a place to sleep which means a lot nowadays." You told him.

        "Guess so." He agreed. "Night."

----

        He was back. Rick was back. The others came back from a run into the city. Shane's face was priceless. How were you supposed to contain your amusement? Then you realized Rick came back with them instead of one of the others who had left camp with them that morning. That person was Merle Dixon, and Daryl was pissed, to say the least.

        It shocked everyone when you jumped on Shane. He pulled Daryl into a chokehold for lashing out at the man who handcuffed his brother to a building and left him to die. How could anyone blame him? Sometimes these people made you sick. Merle was an asshole indeed, but he was a human being and he was loved, even if it was only Daryl who loved him. Nobody cared that Daryl was in pain. Why would they? You knew how they say him. You didn't see him that way, though. 

        You were pacing around all day, itching to keep your hands busy. Rick, Daryl, and a few others left to find Merle. It had been hours. You only hoped they'd all come back in one peace. Of course Shane was pissed. He couldn't wrap his head around it; why Rick would risk his own life for a lowlife after he just came back alive. Lori hadn't spoken to Shane. You thought you saw them argue down at the quarry, probably about Shane telling us all he was dead. Of course, how else could he have gotten Lori to come with? 

        At least he got to play house for a while. You wondered how long it would be until he was asking you to come back to his tent. Not a chance. You weren't that weak.

        By nightfall when they still hadn't returned with Merle, you had lost your appetite. You couldn't eat knowing they might not come back, that Daryl might not come back. Plus, you hadn't moved past Shane and Lori's affair, not by a long shot. As soon as you had a moment alone with Rick, you had every intention of blowing shit up. No way either of them were getting out of this without a single scratch or scrape when you were bruised down to your bones.

        You were in your tent when you heard her scream. You rushed out. Andrea was being torn into by a walker in front of the RV. The campers around you sprung into action and as expected, Shane ran to Lori and Carl. You were smart enough to watch your own back, though, and your knife was ready within seconds, stabbing any snarling beast that came near you right through the eye. That was the easiest spot to pierce, you'd learned. 

        One of them wasn't so easy to take down, though. It was taller than you by far, and hitting it directly in the eye just wasn't going to happen when it was snapping its jaw and moving side to side. You still got it. Your blade drove deep into its temple. The issue was pulling it back out. You stepped on its chest, trying to yank the knife out, but it wouldn't budge. Another one had you in its sights, approaching hungrily. You began to panic. You didn't have any friends that would be looking out for you. Nobody would be coming to save you. You pulled harder and harder but still the metal remained lodged deep in the skull.

        Just as the other walker's rotten fingers grabbed the fabric of your shirt, more gunfire rained out and it dropped to the ground with a thud. You looked to where the shots were fired from and it was the group that went to Atlanta. They had made it back just in time and to your surprise, the only one who looked out for you was the man who seemed to be your only friend.

        Daryl jogged over to you and pulled the knife out for you with a grunt.         

        "C'mon." He said, grabbing your arm and pulling you out of the hot zone.

        It didn't take long to clear all the walkers after that. You panted beside Daryl, staring at him gratefully. He was looking around at all the dead bodies when he noticed your gaze. He nodded to you once, as if to acknowledge your silent thanks.

        When your eyes fount Shane, he was just standing there catching his breath while he watched Carl and Lori hugging Rick. Rick thanked him for keeping them safe. Shane's eyes caught you for a moment. You realized then and there, and it seemed that he heard your thoughts, that Daryl was the only one who looked out for you. Not Shane, not anyone else. It was everyone for themselves when things went bad. They covered their own asses and those most important to them, and you clearly were not important to Shane.

        When your eyes grew colder, frigid daggers sent his way, he knew you would want to get back at him. Not with violence or moving on to another man, no. He knew exactly what you were thinking, and he had every intention of ensuring you never had that chance.

Taglist || Masterlist

[dunmeshichilchuck]

For That One Guy on Tumblr part 5

Chilchuck x !fem !halffoot reader

Your first thought on waking up was to wonder what the hell you'd drunk last night to give you such a nasty hangover. 

Your second thought was "is something...breathing on me?"

You opened your eyes and stared straight into the worried gaze of an uncomfortably close and extremely blond elf.  

She sighed with apparent relief. "Oh thank goodness! You've been sleeping for hours! I thought maybe something had gone wrong with the resurrection spell and you might not wake up, it's just such an unknown area of resurrection magic as to how long someone can be dead before they're resurrected!"

You squinted, brain churning a long for a few minutes before you caught up with the fact that you had, in fact, died and been turned into a Popsicle. "Hrghhh....yeah...yeah 'm fine. Got one hell of a headache though. Why didn't you just wake me up if it's so late?"

Marcille fidgeted with her staff. "I wanted to but -" she shot a glare at the other party members. "They wouldn't let me!"

"It's not like it would make much sense to wake someone up just to make sure they still can wake up." Chilchuck grumbled. "do you want them fully recovered or not? They'll need to rest without you poking them awake every 10 minutes." 

Laois nodded. "Yeah and if something WAS going wrong you'd be able to see it right? Falin told me if resurrection magic went wrong you'd just kinda melt!" 

"You wouldn't- it's not melting! Why would you say it like that?"

You interjected before they could get going again. "Who's Falin?" 

Chilchuck glanced over at you. "Falin's his sister." He gestured at Laois. "She's the main reason we're here. We were trying to rescue and ressurect her but something...." He glanced at Marcille briefly, an odd, almost warning look on his face. "went wrong. And now the mad mage has transformed her into something else and is controlling her." He shrugged. "If we want to get Falin back we're going to need to defeat the mad mage."

Huh, that was. Interesting. 

"What...what exactly went wrong?" You asked, unsure if you actually wanted to know the answer. 

Laois opened his mouth to say something, but Chilchuck shot him a glare and jumped in. "We don't know, she'd been dead for a long time and we had to reassemble her body." He shrugged again. "Who knows with resurrection magic? Shit just goes south sometimes." 

Well that was even more interesting. With that and what you'd heard before they realized you were conscious....there was definitely some shady magical shit going down. 

You looked at Marcille dubiously. Normally you'd think some kind of black magic, but was this prim and proper cream puff of a barely adult child really capable of crimes against god? For heavens sakes she'd been so embarrassed about the bra thing even. You couldn't picture her in combat, let alone casting some kind of banned black magic. She'd probably get too anxious and not be able to go through with it, and why would she even study that? It seemed like her field was relatively narrow if she didn't know the leaving spell.

Definitely very interesting, and potentially very dangerous. If they knew what you'd heard and what you suspected this could get very dicey for you. The best course of action would be to play dumb as a rock. 

You nodded. "Oh yeah no I know, I don't know much about magic but I know ressurrection magic is one of those things that we don't know much about, right? Cause it's so new and everything. I've heard of some weeeiiiirrrddd stuff happening in other groups. People not fully resurrecting or even getting body swapped. And who knows how the mad mage is involved in that? Hell maybe he could control ANYONE resurrected in his dungeon, but he just went after your sister for some reason." 

Lies. Blatant lies too. You weren't dumb and you'd asked as many questions as you could of the mage in your old group. You could even cast some basic healing magic if it came down to it. You'd only had one mage in the party, and you were the only one not directly involved in combat every time, so it made sense for him to teach you some quick and dirty spells in case he was incapacitated. Not that you'd ever reveal that, you knew what happened to halffoots who learned magic. Resurrection magic wasn't complicated at all. No way they weren't doing shady shit. 

Laois and Marcille chimed in with agreements that sounded just a bit too relieved, but Chilchuck just shot you an indecipherable look and then turned back and said. "alright now that that's settled we need to get packed up and head out. We've wasted too much time waiting for y/n to wake up as it is." 

You clenched your jaw and firmly reminded yourself that you were already in a precarious position, and that seemed to just be the way Chilchuck talked. 

You could put up with it. You could put up with anything if it meant getting to take down the bastard that had built this dungeon. 

Tag list, ask to tag:

@night-shadowblood-writes2

@thoughtfulbelieverstrawberry

@dunmeshimeshi

@leguink 

@gh0st-spider

@reh-llik

@sy1v30n

@qardasngan

[esamastation]

Part fifty-one of Shizuroth, aka, the SOLDIER General's Self Saving Shizun.

Ao3 link.

Previous parts: forty, forty-one, forty-two, forty-three, forty-four, forty-five, forty-six, forty-seven forty-eight, forty-nine, fifty

-

"Angeal Hewley speaking."

"Well, you sound chipper tonight. Is Wutai not treating you right?"

"Oh. Hello, Genesis. How are things in Midgar?"

"Things are… they are such as they are. The work of a hero never ends. And so forth."

"That good, huh?"

"Mmm. Now do tell me why you sound like someone gone trampling all over your honour."

"Heh, nothing so bad, I promise. Just, you know. Sephiroth."

"More of his glowing Alignment practice?"

"..."

"Oh, so it's something new now? Do tell! All of us in Midgar are dying to know how things are developing. How is the Healer of Worlds doing?"

"... I guess the Turks have already reported it. Well. For one, he's learned how to fly."

"... Come again?"

"Sephiroth learned to fly. Or, I guess, it's more like weightlessness? He can make himself feather-light and just jump on tree tops and glide around."

"... Angeal, my dear friend, this isn't time for jokes."

"Oh, I'm not joking, Genesis, I'm really not. He can fly now. It's really something. He didn't so much explain as he insinuated, but I think it's some kind of gravity or mass manipulation that he can now do. Because of his Alignment practice. Apparently it's bearing fruit."

"... Wonderful. Infinite in mystery is the gift of the Goddess. We seek it thus, and take to the sky. Some of us literally."

"Suppose that's one interpretation of it."

"Tch. And I suppose by now the Good Professor has been informed, and we will be hearing of these developments from him directly."

"Probably, yeah."

"Tch. Well, I suppose it would be nice to know how to fly. How many of us will end up with our wings clipped before such heights are achieved, forever…"

"Genesis…"

"They still don't admit that there have been deaths. Janson was supposedly killed in action, but he wasn't even on a mission at the time. The others have been cadets, but it's only a matter of time."

"I'm sorry. I wish I was there."

"No you don't. Be glad you aren't - though, as G type SOLDIERs, you and I aren't compatible with these new methods anyway. Such fortune we have, such graces we have been granted."

"We all signed up for this. We all volunteered, in order to enter the program."

"Yes, and not a single one of us knew what that meant. Well, except perhaps for Sephiroth. Not that he ever truly signed up. You know, I have been looking into his history, I've dug out his medical records, trying to figure out what they are after -"

"Genesis, that's a breach of trust -"

"The lives of my men matter to me more than Sephiroth's secrets and pride. Not that the files were any help - the story they paint is more a horror story than anything. Whatever Hojo is trying to recreate, if it takes as many experiments as Sephiroth has gone through…"

"I thought they already nailed down the cause. The overdose, right?"

"That's the prevalent theory, yes. But after the first few cases of Mako Poisoning and death, they rather gave up on recreating that particular experiment at least."

"They gave up? But, aren't they still calling SOLDIERs in for extra doses?"

"They are, but there's not as much Mako in it. They're injecting something else, now - more of the carrier agent, supposedly - though Goddess alone knows how many had to be resuscitated for them to get the point."

"... What's the current total of casualties?"

"Four deaths including Janson and seven in coma, two of them SOLDIER. Oh, and one confirmed brain death, which is just lovely."

"A SOLDIER?"

"No… a cadet. What they're keeping him alive for I don't know, but… there we have it."

"... Shit."

"Angeal Hewley, is that cursing I hear?! What a day to be alive."

"Very funny. How do you know about what's going on in the labs? I thought they'd pretty much banned you from them?"

"They did, but I have my ways."

"... Right. Do your ways explain why Lazard isn't doing anything about this?"

"Not much he can do. Hojo will do what he wants, and he'd promised Heidegger a new, higher class of SOLDIER after this, so you can imagine his reaction. And of course the President is all for it!"

"Ah, I… see."

"Indeed. You know what they're saying in the labs now? They're saying that SOLDIERs were created to be the second coming of the Ancients. That we were supposed to be able to, among other things, cast spells without the need of Materia."

"I… heard something like that too, a long time ago, but I didn't put much stock in it. It sounded a bit too fantastical for me."

"Well, supposedly, that's exactly what they wanted. They gave up on it, because, well, it didn't work, and because the side effects were even more useful. Superhuman soldiers! Much better than Ancient myths, when you have a war to be fought. Only now the war is almost over, and Sephiroth has apparently figured out how to fly."

"Ah."

"I can only imagine the consequences this will have."

"Yes, um. There's something else."

"Something else? Angeal, please don't tell me you're been holding out for me."

"Well, not really, but, um. Did you know Sephiroth can speak and read the Wutai language?"

"... I didn't, but I'm not surprised. Among SOLDIERs he's spent the most time over there."

"Well, I didn't know. The Turks didn't know. I don't think it's in his file either."

"Another thing he's been keeping to himself and can no longer remember why?"

"Maybe, but, Genesis, there's… another thing. There was a group of Wutai warriors that we intercepted, and Sephiroth had a one-in-one duel with their captain - and then he spoke with him. In their language. Now, I can't understand written Wutai at all, but I can sort of follow the conversations…"

"I am duly impressed, my friend. Though more with the idea of Sephiroth having a conversation with a Wutai soldier - after having a duel with them. What, did he raise their spirit somehow?"

"Very funny, but no, he didn't kill the man. That's not the point - Genesis, the Wutai Captain called Sephiroth's accent ancient."

"... Angeal, you're kidding me."

"Not like Ancient ancient. I'm pretty sure the moniker they use for Ancients is different. Ancestor, maybe? Something like that. Anyway, Deng Yuto called Sephiroth's accent ancient, meaning really old."

"... Huh. So to recap, Sephiroth gets a massive dose of Mako, flatlines, comes back, forgets almost everything about himself, develops some new habits, has a bunch of strange questions about the way Materia, Mako, EXP and MP work… and now he's developing new magical abilities, and speaking a language like someone from a long time ago."

"That's about the size of it."

"Damn."

"... Yeah."

"... Hey, Angeal?"

"Yes, Genesis?"

"I think I have a theory of what's going on."

"I thought you might."

-

Lmao I have no idea where this is going 👀🍿

[useless-catalanfacts]

1655 Catalonia dashboard simulator

(conveniently translated to English)

🗝️ stgeorgeisahottie follow

Okay that's it, I'm blocking anyone who gets involved in the Genovese discourse. I don't care that the Giudice got their Barcelona house attacked by a mob, they were the first ones who started the fight by insulting the fishermen. They had it coming. The Council of the Hundred has hanged the fisherman who instigated it anyway. Topic closed.

🌬️ lariberathot follow

Seriously? Dude you have no idea what you're talking about. The Giudice had their storage room full of gunpowder. We were lucky that the flames didn't reach it when the mob set their house on fire! It would have blown up this whole part of the city and get hundreds killed!

🗝️ stgeorgeisahottie follow

I told you I don't care? And it wouldn't hurt Barcelonians to stop setting shit on fire for once.

🧭 just-a-genovese-sailor follow

For real?? This is your concern?? That it could have blown up the city?? What about the Giudice who got their house stormed!! You really have no sympathy for the innocent Genovese banker families huh? You're all just jealous because they're richer than you'll ever be. Well guess what, they are where they are because they worked hard! Unlike you lot.

🌬️ lariberathot follow

43 notes

⛏️ isthecatalanrepublicbackyet follow

No.

102 notes

🏰 pauclarisdidnothingwrong follow

What if a monkey but wearing a jumper?

🏰 pauclarisdidnothingwrong follow

Easy website

32,893 notes

🪻 itsyagirlmariagna follow

Never marry a tanner. This whole house fucking stinks.

7 notes

🪿 sainteulaliadevotee follow

Idk I don't know if I agree or not with the latest edict that says we're not allowed to drink chocolate during mass anymore. I get that we're supposed to pay more attention to the priest if we want eternal salvation but melindros are just soooo good

1,543 notes

😶‍🌫️ senyor-roger

Say what you will about Plana de Lleida weather but at least we're not getting sacked by pirates every other day lmao

#i keep seeing everyone complaining about it #you knew it was going to happen #just move out #like i'm sorry if your mother got kidnapped by pirates but at this point it's your fault

12 notes

[sinner-sunflower]

P.2 HH Lucifer-centric AU 17/?

STORY 1, PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5, PART 6, PART 7, PART 8, PART 9, PART 10, PART 11, PART 12, PART 13, PART 14, PART 14.5, PART 15, PART 16, PART 18, PART 19, PART 20, PART 21, PART 22, PART 23, PART 24, PART 25, PART 26

I live!

I can finally post this chapter 😭😭😭

-----------------------------------------------

Before anyone could react, Lucifer flashes his eyes with a chilling intensity. Time itself stopped, as if the universe held its breath.

The now sinner wasn't even the least bit surprised; in fact, he didn't even tried to hide his annoyance.

Adam: Ugh. I hate it when you do that. I'm surprised Sera never questioned why our meetings were so short-

The sudden impact to Adam's chest silenced him mid-sentence. One moment he was speaking, the next he was on his back with the King of Hell straddling him. He loves seeing Lucifer furious, but only when he knows the other can't kill him as long as he's an angel of Heaven.

Can't not won't because he's pretty sure Lucifer will kill him if given the chance.

He doesn't know if he should be grateful of the fact that Lucifer didn't kill him in the last extermination.

Lucifer: How are you here?

Lucifer spoke with fire, lightly singeing Adam's face as he asked, no, demanded an answer.

Adam: U-Fuck! I don't know man! Get off du- Hey! Stop that! Hands off the merchandise!

Adam yelled as Lucifer ripped open his clothes, revealing a white scar right in the middle of the first man's chest.

Lucifer: Talk.

The other gulped. Adam had never been afraid of Lucifer not back then and especially not now. But he does value his life, so.

Adam: Man, I told you. I. Don't. Know. One minute I was dyin' on your gross floor and then next poof I woke up on the edge of some fucking cliff looking like one of you disgusting freaks. You have no idea how much of a bitch it was to walk from there to this stupid city. I kept dying from random shit and then I spawn back to that cliff!

Lucifer: What cliff?

Adam: Dude, do I look like a cliff expert? Just some random one with a weird lookin' mountain over-

Lucifer: Which direction!

Adam: -South! God, chill.

The Sin of Pride doesn't need a map to know what Adam is now talking about. He may be a recluse but he knows Hell like the back of his hand.

Lucifer: Mount Sinai…

Adam: Uh what?

Lucifer: Mount Sinai, principal site of divine revelation.

Adam: Huh? Isn't that where that Moses dude got the 10 rules-

Lucifer: Commandments.

Adam: -from your daddy?

Lucifer: First of all, don't call The Almighty "daddy". Second, yes. Most significant landscapes that form on Earth reflect here. Even the one where Satan tested Prince of Heaven.

Adam purposely yawns obnoxiously.

Adam: Boringggg. What does that mountain got to do with me?

Lucifer: Maybe it's telling you that you're now a disgusting freak like us cause you're too stupid to realize.

Adam: Fuck you.

Lucifer: No thanks.

To that, the turned sinner quirked an eyebrow and gave a little smirk.

Adam: Oh really? Cause you're not getting off me any time soon. Unless… You want the whole Eden package, Luci?

Lucifer's face spoke volumes, each expression a testament to his thoughts on the matter at hand. Adam, catching the subtle disdain in Lucifer's gaze, felt a twinge of offense directed at his pride. After all they'd been through??! It's like the guy doesn't even know him.

Adam: Rude ass bitch. Fuckin' get off then before one of us does a different kind of getting off.

The King jumped back as if he'd been scorched, hissing his disdain for the man before him.

Adam: You act like I wanted to come here. Down here is just... ugh. I want to go back up there, thank you very much. This place looks even tackier than last time, by the way. I even went to the damn embassy.

Lucifer chose to ignore the jab about the hotel.

Lucifer: Let me guess, you forgot the ban on any sinner soul to enter?

Adam: Who even thought of that?!

Lucifer: You did, dumbass.

Adam: Yeah- well- I still say it's your fault! Now go there and contact Sera for me. How are you still here anyway? Shouldn't Heaven be punishing you for killing their totally fuckable first man?

Lucifer: Fatherdamnit, why did your ego not die with your divinity? And to answer your question, Heaven hasn't contacted us ever since the battle.

Adam: What?! Why??? I'm THE fucking first man! Maybe they're preparing for a war to kill all you fuckers.

Lucifer: They're preparing for a war alright.

Lucifer didn't mean to say that but thankfully Adam's habit of selective hearing whenever he speaks hasn't changed.

Adam: What was that?

Lucifer: I said maybe you're just that insignificant to them.

Adam: Just like you? Also, why the fuck do you look like that?

The King tilts his head to the side, a calculated gesture meant to convey innocence.

Lucifer: Like what?

Adam: Like that!

Lucifer: What do you mean? I've always looked like this.

Adam: Uhhh no. I've known you for literally all my life and after. I think I would've made fun of you more if you looked like an emo clown since the beginning.

Lucifer: How would you know what an emo is?

Adam: Bruh, have you seen my lieutenant?

He had but he doesn't think she's emo. Charlie had an emo phase and that just became his basis on what that word means. An idea struck him, and he pondered sharing some old photos of Charlie to Vaggie...

His contemplation was interrupted by Adam's whistle, pulling him back to the present moment.

Adam: Helloooooooo. Earth to Lucifer. I'm still here you know and I know that you don't want me here as much as I do.

Adam is right.

Though the first man's presence grated on him, and the fact that he wants nothing more than to send him back to Heaven, he knew it was a futile endeavor.

There is no way they're going to take him back because, for one, whether they like it or not, the guy is a demon now.

He could try Sera but she hasn't contacted him since the last extermination-that-wasn't and Michael did mention "taking care" of her so that's out of the question.

Seeing as there is no other solution, he resigned himself to handling the situation as every other demon had.

Lucifer: Let's make a deal then.

Adam: Psh! A deal with the literal Devil? You think I'm some kind of moron?

Lucifer: .... Maybe.

Adam: Fuck you!

Lucifer: Yeah yeah. You keep saying that. So?

Adam must have deduced that this was Lucifer's way of saying"what other choice do you have?" and just groans in resignation.

Adam: Just lay it on me.

Lucifer: You be my personal assistant.

His reply came as quick as the offer.

Adam: No.

Lucifer: No?

Adam: Yeah fuck that. I'm not gonna be your servant.

Lucifer: I'm fine with leaving you on the streets, you know. But how do you think the demons out there will react once they discover that you're a former angel? The head of the exorcists at that. And trust me, we will let them know.

Adam: Yeah- well- The hotel! I'm pretty sure your dear princess won't turn me away if I say that I'm here for this redemption bullshit.

Lucifer: Oh! That's great then! I'm sure Nifty won't have a problem having another helping knife- I mean, hand around.

Lucifer, for his part, harbored no illusions about allowing the man near his daughter, but he found a certain amusement in Adam's discomfort, especially with Nifty.

The prospect of Adam's paranoia amuses him greatly that he allowed himself a faint chuckle.

Adam's eyes flick towards the gremlin cyclops. HDespite his attempts to rationalize away his fear, he couldn't shake the sensation of impending danger of being killed. Again. He lets out an involuntary shiver.

Weighing the pros and cons, he eventually decides that his life is more important than his pride.

Adam: Fiiiiiiiiiiiineee. I'll be your fuckin' errand boy.

Lucifer: Great! And another thing. Keep the innuendos to a zero. Especially around my daughter.

Adam: Come on. Don't tell me you don't love it!

Lucifer: I really don't.

Adam: Anyone would be lucky to have a taste of this majestic dick, yaknow.

Lucifer: Yeahhhhhh, still no.

Adam: I heard you can change into a girl.

A snap.

Adam: So, just let me fuck you once and I promise you'll never want another dick agai-

As the static noise filled the room, Adam found himself the target of collective anger and simmering hostility from the others. His ill-considered words had ignited a storm of rage, each member of the gathering consumed by thoughts of murder.

Adam was the only one physically affected, his ears covered in a futile attempt to shield himself from the overwhelming static.

Alastor: I suggest you watch what you say next, first man.

Sensing the danger he's in, Adam stood up and pointed an accusatory finger at Lucifer. Well, he tried to but he got pinned back to the ground by sets of multiple hands.

Adam: You set me up!

Lucifer: Dunno what you're talkin' about, buddy.

Charlie: Dad, what's going on? What do we do with Adam?

Lucifer: Don't worry about him, sweetie. He'll be staying at the palace doing my paperwork like a good assistant-

Adam: -Ugh! I hate doing paperwork!

Lucifer: -until we can figure out why he's here.

Charlie: I don't know, dad...

Lucifer: Trust me. You don't want him here.

The silent exchange between father and daughter carried a weight of unspoken understanding. After a while, Charlie gave her dad a reluctant but genuine expression of trust. Her acknowledgment broke the tension, softening the atmosphere between them.

Charlie: Okay. I trust you.

However, their moment was interrupted by the clearing of a throat, drawing their attention back to the chaotic scene unfolding before them. Adam is now suspended upside down by the irate Sins and Alastor.

Adam: So uh, can you tell your simps to put me down now?

-----------------------------------------------

So! I'm back.

I didn't really plan for Adam to be part of the hotel right now. We'll still get to see him but he'll just be at the palace.

With Lute and Heaven not knowing that Adam isn't dead but just fallen and Hell not knowing that Sir Pentious has been redeemed.... who knows what will happen?

Hope this chapter was worth the wait ;;

And yes that is a Jesus mention.

[dickarchivist]

BESTIEEEE could i trouble you for a kiss prompt of….

a hand (or both) placed gently on their cheeks!!!

With Banshee pleaseeee? 👉🏻👈🏻🥹

Banshee Babes I have a snack for you pspspspsps

Feels Like Home

Clone OC Banshee (pov) X gn!Reader

Word Count: 1324

Prompt: First Kiss prompt list: a hand (or both) placed gently on their cheeks

Rating: G, but minors DNI still 🔞

Contents and Warnings: none, it's really cute fluff ♡ there is a bloody nose from a punch at one point, but that's really the only thing.

Summary: Banshee loves you (that's it, that's the fic)

Author's Notes: Thank you @anxiouspineapple99 for asking for this fic!! Immediately when I read it I heard Banshee in my head go "Can I tell this one?" so it's written from Banshee's POV!! Kinda reads like a one-sided conversation in Ban's head, like he's thinking directly to you.

As always, Banshee mostly signs. All Sign will be in italics without quotation marks to show the difference between spoken word.

I miss you.

It's been... kriff I don't even know how long. I think last time I saw you, it was sunny... yeah, it was, I remember thinking how pretty you looked with light dancing in your eyes. I wish I'd kissed you then. Before that too, when we were at 79's and I heard you laugh at one of Phantom's shitty jokes.

You talk to him a lot. Makes sense, he's got a lot to say... I wish I could speak more to you. I just-- can't. I don't know why. My voice is fine, I remember you saying it was pretty once, when you heard me laugh. Made me blush. Kriff, Specs wouldn't let me live that down for weeks. "Sing us a song with your pretty voice, Banshee~"

He was just poking fun, I smiled at it, rolled my eyes, but I hated it. I hated that I couldn't sing like a bird right then and there. I flipped him one instead, we rough housed, and then before we knew it, we were on another battlefield.

I want to tell you everything. I hope it's enough just to want to. That when I put my arm around you, you know I'd do anything for you. That when I look in your eyes all I can think is how lucky I am to have been made, because I get to look at you even for a second. I get to hear your laugh, even if it's muffled it's still the prettiest laugh I know. Or your voice, ah kriff, I could listen to you talk all damn day.

I do, sometimes.

That message you left on my commlink, I saved it. Play it when I'm in the field so if I go, you're the last thing I hear.

"What'cha thinkin' about Ban? You've been staring off into space for like... twenty minutes. You okay?" Athena. She's small, I could throw her pretty far if we combined my strength and her force jump. I think General Valka would kill me if I launched her though.

Nothing, but that's a lie, I'm thinking about you.

"Somebody's lying~" I could punch Phantom right now, that sing-song jeering makes me so- ugh, "You're thinkin' about that babe, aren't you? Vod when ya gonna ask 'em out! Better do it before I do, I make em laugh you know, bet I could get em to make other noi-"

I punch Phantom. I don't even realize I did until Athena gasps at the blood running down Tommy's face. "Kriff I was joking Ban! Ah! What the hell!?"

I'm sorry, Tom, I didn't- he swats my hands, effectively shutting me up.

Ghost comes in later, he looks disappointed. I wish he'd look angry. "Anything to say for yourself?"

No. It was out of line.

"It was. So, why'd you do it? It's not like you to take a crack at Tom in earnest, lucky his nose didn't break." He chuckles, and I'm relieved at that. Didn't hurt him too badly after all.

But I can't answer Ghost... I don't want him to think less of me. Punching my brother just because I got jealous of even the thought of him taking you from me, and you're not even mine? Oh shit, why's he laughing? Hey, stop that, what's so funny?

Why are you laughing?

Ghost smiles, "You're in love huh? That person from 79's, the one you keep staring at? If Tom made a pass at them, I get why you punched him." He pats my shoulder, and I feel myself bristle, but he just shakes his head, "Look. Apologize to Tom, but between you and me, he deserved it. You should tell them when we get back, think you'll be happy with the answer."

I miss you more now. For three days, I miss you more and more. When The Crypt finally lands I can't get off the ship fast enough. "I'LL TELL THEM TO MEET YOU AT THEIR PLACE!" Ghost calls after me as I take a flying leap from The Crypt's still opening door.

I turn around, run backwards a click so I can sign my thank yous and wave. As I'm rushing through the crowds, the streets, you chime into my helmet. I can't pick up fast enough, I accidentally hang up on you in my excitement. Thankfully you call back immediately.

"Hey, I know you don't talk, so just listen! Ghost called, I'm headed home now, I'll be a few minutes but if you beat me home, just let yourself in okay? The code is your number! I'll see you soon, ahh I can't wait to see you I missed you!!! Bye Ban!"

You missed me... You missed me!! My legs carry me faster than before, I can't stop the smile on my face. It almost hurts my cheeks, I just want to see you already!! The streets here all look the same, where's your door? I know it, I know it, come on, which one-

"Ban!!" It's you. It's you! Where are you, from above? "Banshee look up! To the left, Ban!"

My head snaps around, and for the first time in what feels like forever, I get to see your smile. My heart beat pounds in my chest, my cheeks are hot, Maker you look so beautiful...

I rush the stairs like my life depends on it, feels like it almost might. My body knows the aches of battle well, but this ache is still new to me. The physical need to be close... I yank off my helmet and fling it to stop at your feet before I crash into you.

With your arms around my shoulders, your legs wrapping my waist, every part of me feels whole finally. You smell like sunshine in the cold, like fresh bread from a real bakery, you smell like you, and it's my favorite scent of all. You smell like home.

Once your legs are under you again, I still don't let go, I can't. I've waited too long to hold you, to see you, just be near. I'm not letting you go. Your hands are so soft...

I lean my cheek into your palm, smiling down at you as I continue to catch my breath. Stars I could look at you forever. The way you run your hands over my head, feeling my short hair. You'll come back with ink on you, I know it. The others just drew on me, I hope there's nothing bad up there... I love the way your thumb feels against my lips. The way you map out every part of me, like you're seeing my face for the first time all over again. I love you. Kriff I love you so much I can barely stand it, I--

"What are you thinking about?"

"I love you."

No. No no no. No I didn't-- I didn't mean to say it like that, I'm sorry, please stop looking at me like that, no, I'm sorry, p--

What was that? Do it again.

Your lips on mine... I move forward, careful, trying to mimic the same thing, but- oh... oh that's... you'd move your lips on mine, I move mine the same, slow, softer this time. Am I doing it right? You don't stop me, I think I am. You pull back, breathing hard as I am, smiling so brightly... you're everything to me. You feel like home.

"I love you too, Banshee." You giggle, and my heart sings. One hand leaves my face, I can see ink on your fingers, just like I thought. 1666, you really did use my number as your code... you love me.

As we move inside, you stop, gasping at a sudden realization, "Oh stars, that's the first time I've heard you speak! I didn't know you could!"

I can't help but laugh. Of course that's the first thing I say to you. Of course it is.

[little-miss-dilf-lover]

THE TEXT CONVOS !! I hope it looks ok. I left spaces between the texts (ALSO THANK U FOR THE REQUEST 💗 ) 💺 anon

🍊) My little (brat) princess

🍒: Buy pads please!! 🍊: Already did, anything else that may satisfy her majesty? ❤️

🍊: Hi pretty. Can't find my tie, did you took it? It's the navy one 🍒: No, must've been your side chick :( 🍊: Please tell me you're joking 🍒: I'm not 🍊: Woman I practically worship the ground you walk on 🍒: Screenshotting this to Lem. Also your tie is with me :) 🍊: You two got jokes huh

🍒: Pretty women called "sleepless nights worried about my husband" is waiting for me in bed 🍊: Not tonight love. Coming home in 5

🍊: What kind of streets do ghosts hunt? 🍊: Dead ends

🍊: Really want to shoot him in the head 🍒: What are you talking about? 🍊: He's so fucking cocky huh? 🍒: Ladybug? He's not doing anything 🍊: That "we should all order some food" sounded pretty flirty to me 🍒: You deserve the electric chair

🍊: Are you from Mississippi? Cause you're the only miss who's piss I'll sippie [You blocked this contact]

🍊: That nob better stop touching your shoulder before I give him a lobotomy 🍊: Got the "little off the top" looking haircut 🍒: HE ASKED FOR MY NUMBER 🍊: He should see an optometrist since he clearly didn't notice the ring on your finger 🍒: I told him I have a husband 5 times already but he said "it doesn't matter", so I gave him your number ��: That's my girl

🍒: [1 image attached] 🍊: Oh my fucking god 🍊: God took his time with you

🍒: Would you be mad at me if I punched you in the face? 🍊: What's the context love? Are we making out and you just started beating me up? 🍒: Why would I EVER do that??? 🍊: You tell me, you were the one who asked. 🍊: Wait you might actually be onto someting here love 🍒: THATS IT, SEX BAN 🍊: WHAT

🍒: What is taking you so long? 🍊: Lady at the cashier won't leave me alone 🍒: Please hurry up I want you to eat me out :( [Tan reacted with ❤️] 🍒: Tell her "husband duties are calling"

🍋) Silly goofy guy

🍋: I'm really over here with Aristotle talking about plumbs and farmers and shit

🍒: Did you actually got into a fight with that Kimura guy just because he said he didn't like my tie? 🍋: Cherry defender first, human second

🍋: Bro is not listening to me 🤼‍♂️ 🍒: I'll hear you out on Henrys 🍋: [voice message: 42:33]

🍋: Got bored so I drew you 🍋: [1 image attached] 🍒: Thanks !! 🍒: Why do I have 3 fingers on each hand though? 🍋: I stole the other four

🍒: Are the cookies you left for me a prank? 🍋: Are they that bad? 🍒: What?? No!! Of course not!! 😊 I loved them!! 🫶 🍋: I got a feeling you're being sarcastic

🍋: Tan said nobody likes lemons 🍒: I'll kill him

🍒: The bartender asked for my phone number 🍋: BOOOOOO 📢📢 every time 🍒: I gave him Tan's number. Wanna catfish him? 🍋: LETS GO I LOVE THE WAY YOU THINK

🍊🍋🍒) The fruit bowl

🍊: The group name is stupid 🍋: IT'S GENIUS 🍒: It's literally what we are 🍊: I think I should've named the group so it wouldn't be something stupid 🍋: "Tangerines are sophisticated" This you❓ 🍒: Point and laugh 🫵🤣 🍊: Piss off

🍋: I burned the pasta 🍊: You can cook? 🍋: I tried 🍊: Never do it again 🍋: Piss off at least I wasn't the one who dropped the pod on the floor 🍒: This is why you two aren't allowed in my kitchen

🍊: I'm just saying, relationships should be 50/50 🍊: She looks pretty, while I growl at anyone who looks at her 🍋: It's getting harder and harder to defend you 🍒: People are gonna think you're insane 🍋: He is

🍋: [1 image attached, it's a selfie of us three] 🍋: BOY WE SEE THEM BABY BLUES 🍒: I swear people don't even say bless you anymore, they just stare at you like that 🍊: Do you two ever stop to think about what you're saying? 🍋: No 😼 🍒: Nope 🍊: It shows

yeah no kidding you aced the shit out of these!!! and they are so fun to read !! I definitely get what you mean now by them being fun😭

LOVE LOVE LOVED them all but these have gotta be my faves

THIS ONE??? had my cracking up. was still thinking about it and laughing to myself ages after reading 😭😭

little off the top and the ring comment 😭

and giving the guy tan number and him saying that’s my girl🫠

god took his time with you??? melting

WHY IS THAT SO ACCURATE!!! lemon definitely sends really long voice messages and spams with videos. like he’s giving you mini personal vlogs😭😭😭 he just starts talking about the most random shit walking around the house. “… yeah they said his car is fucked— no way. I just found this.” and holds it out to the camera and then he carries on with whatever he was saying before

I feel like he struggled to draw all 10 fingers and got fed up so gave you simpson hands instead

[ask-good-cop-bad-cop]

Please write about the Bricksburg Fun Fair.

It had been such a fun week. Good Cop was sad it was nearly over now. Getting challenged to many of the various fair games by the visiting kids and teens had been a blast- even if Bad ended up getting banned from the shooting range games. Good still couldn't help but snicker at the memory of how put out he was by that. He was just too good at them.

At least he'd made up for it by giving the kids the prizes he'd won. Good didn't care what anyone else said, Bad really was such a softie at heart.

He wandered the fair grounds, tuning out the auctioneer's rambling. They would be doing their big raffle afterwards, and Good hadn't been able to resist buying a ticket. They probably wouldn't win anything- he'd seen the collection bowl, full to the brim after people had been buying tickets all week. A dollar wasn't too much to ask for a small chance of going home with something, though.

Especially considering he'd already spent entirely too much buying a plethora of handmade trinkets and other odds and ends from various crafters. "More junk to take up space in our apartment." Bad had grumbled at him, but hadn't stopped him.

"Well shit. It really IS you."

Good blinked and turned around to find the owner of the voice. He wasn't entirely certain, but it sounded like that had been directed at him. His expression fell in dismay when he recognized who was speaking to him.

"'Friendship Ambassador', huh? That's a hoot, given how the only friend YOU could make was an imaginary one."

"Brent." Good Cop sighed. The same jerk who had nearly broken Bad's nose when they were kids. Bad stirred in the back of their mind, grumbling his annoyance at being called an "imaginary friend". "We're a bit old for this nonsense, aren't we?"

"What, afraid of getting your nose broken again?"

"Of course not. You didn't manage it last time, I doubt you would this time either."

"Why you little-"

"Good let me at him-" Bad tried to wrestle control from him.

Good simply leaned out of the way of the punch thrown at him. "Don't worry, I've got this." He assured. He dodged another punch, then swept a foot out to trip Brent. The other man fell and hit the ground hard. "Shall I report you for assaulting a police officer?" Good asked cheerfully. Brent turned to stare at him in shock. "Yeah, you heard that right. I'm not an 'easy target' anymore. Now you can move along and mind your manners, or I can take you to the security tent and deal with you there."

Brent glowered at him for a moment, then got back to his feet and dusted himself off before wandering off. Bad burst into laughter as they watched him slink away.

"Proud of you." He managed to get out between giggles. Good smiled brightly.

They ended up winning the grand prize that night.

[woltourney]

ROUND 3 / SIDE A / POLL 1

Kasha Sho (@r04ch-ships) v. Posey (@motley-ember) v. Eleutherios (@trans-estinien)

Kasha Sho:

q. What is your WoL name and pronouns? a. Kasha Sho, They/She (trans queen)

q. What is your WoL's species? a. Au’Ra Raen

q. What is your WoL's class? Or classes? a. Gunbreaker + Monk

q. What data centre/server are you on, if you want people to find you? a. Crystal Malboro <3

q. Tell us a bit about your WoL! a. I want to preface this by saying I made Kasha’s lore before I knew about the Yda/Lyse thing. Im not retconning because Kasha is better than her anyways 🙄 /hj Kasha was raised in Doma on a small farm! She had a younger brother and an older sister, her older sisters name was Kasha and she was killed by an unknown group. My wol then took their sisters name and fled to Eorzea on a refugee boat. She landed in Ul’dah and started from there! Kasha is VERY aggressive, mean, and insulting. She does not know basic manners and will speak her mind freely. Eats with their hands and also eats ANYTHING… Kasha doesnt like being the WoL, but continues this role because if she wont then who will? They’re very loud and boisterous and confident. Will fight anyone and everyone. She has 97 mental illnesses and is banned from most countries. She doesnt know how to read and is an overall idiot but shes doing her best leave that little guy alone Shes also 6ft tall and buff as SHIT

q. Why should YOU win? (Answer IC!) a. I WILL WIN because Im the best fighter out here and I will CRUSH THE BONES OF MY- this isn’t an actual fight? … Um 😶 I would TOTALLY win a real fight. Just so you know.

Posey:

q. What is your WoL name and pronouns? a. Posey, he/him!

q. What is your WoL's species? a. Hrothgar

q. What is your WoL's class? Or classes? a. Paladin! (Additional note from submitter: Culinarian)

q. What data centre/server are you on, if you want people to find you? a. Phoenix

q. Tell us a bit about your WoL! a. Posey is a big softie and massive himbo who loves cooking, but loves his friends even more. He was trained by his grandmother in the art of the blade, and enjoys using all of his skills for the good of the world! The food that he makes is said to be better than what is served to the Sultana in the royal palace.

q. Why should YOU win? (Answer IC!) a. I don't really care if I win, but I thought this was a good way to make new friends! My Baba said that I should put myself out there more!

q. Anything else you wanna add? a. He's gay and he has a pet teacup pig. He WILL try and become friends with anyone and everyone.

Eleutherios:

q. What is your WoL name and pronouns? a. Eleutherios, He/Him

q. What is your WoL's species? a. Unsundered Ancient

q. What is your WoL's class? Or classes? a. Currently (as of 5.3 onwards) Eleutherios' main job is Dark Knight

q. What data centre/server are you on, if you want people to find you? a. Eleutherios Azem on Sargatanas, Aether!

q. Tell us a bit about your WoL! a. Have you ever thought "Huh, I wonder how the story of Final Fantasy XIV would change if Azem was never sundered?" WELL DO I HAVE THE WARRIOR OF LIGHT FOR YOU! Introducing Eleutherios! The lovable Azem who spent his days travelling Etheirys, caring for its people, and annoying the Convocation. Until everything fell apart, of course. On the eve of the Sundering, he denounced both the Convocation and Venat, choosing to find his own path to end the Final Days. Paths that didn't involve summoning gods or killing half of the star's population and then some. But Venat and the others had chosen their courses, and fate had been set. Now, Eleutherios should have died when Hydaelyn broke the world. But he did not. Why? Well, because of the timeline splitting in two. When? When a traveller from the future arrived in Elpis to learn the truth of the Final Days, of course. This traveller? Eleutherios himself. Hydaelyn had spared him from Her spell, making him Her chosen, in the same vein as the Unsundered Ascians being chosen to carry out Zodiark's will. Eleutherios believed the Ascians' plan to restore the world to what it once was foolish. Their people were dead. Nothing can fix that. They just have to push forward and make the best of the future they've been given. But his fellow Unsundered couldn't see this, trapped in their ideals of what the star should be. They needed to see it for what it is. But how could he expect the Convocation to do that, when the only one of them who ever seemed to care about the individual lives of the people was him? So someone has to fight for the new life springing up across the star. And thus began his great work. He's risen up to be the Warrior of Light countless times, over and over, for eons. With each Rejoining marking another failure. Time and time again he had to watch as everything he fought for was reduced to ash. Once, twice, seventh. It seemingly never ended. But what choice did he have? If he didn't fight against the Ascians, he was practically working for them by letting them get away with these atrocities. And so he carries onward as he's always done. But unbeknownst to him, this time was different. This time he meets the Scions of the Seventh Dawn. This time he travels to another Shard and manages to prevent a Rejoining. This time he isn't alone to face the second Final Days. This time, everything will finally be ok.

q. Why should YOU win? (Answer IC!) a. "Well, I'll be honest with you, I don't mind if I win or not. I just like participating and getting to know everyone! Oh, and I'll promise I'll hold back, for their sake. Though if they're Warriors of Light I'm sure they'll all hold up just fine! But if you want a serious answer about why I specifically should win, then…" [Eleutherios takes a moment to think.] "I should win based off of the fact that I have eons more experience in this whole 'Warrior of Light' business than the rest of them do. I've been at it since the Sundering! Not to say that my many, many years of experience is needed to be a Warrior of Light, or that I'm better than the rest, which couldn't be further from the truth. I think we all stand equal, sundered or not."

q. Anything else you wanna add? a. I have so much more lore for Eleutherios and I had to cut down this introductory essay by a LOT. I'm currently working on an extended version which covers ALL of his lore. If you want more Eleutherios content just send me an ask on tumblr, or scroll through the [#eleutherios (azem)] and [#unsundered azem au] tags! I'm always happy to talk about him!!

[whumpcloud]

Red Room - Lies and Proof

content: filmed whump, creepy/intimate whumper, sadistic whumper, captivity, threatened fingore (cutting off a finger - doesn't happen but nails get pulled out instead), begging, implied child abuse (non-specific)

New project. Jack Mitchell (yes, that one, if you know me you know I'm excited), twenty-one, he/they. Real pretty when he cries. No permanent injuries, no broken limbs, and no facial damage, but as always, it's up to you. Streaming in twenty. Leave suggestions while you wait!

Matthew refreshes the page.

Nothing. Thirty seconds.

Matthew refreshes the page.

Take a knife to him.

Oh, knife freak's still here. Matthew refreshes the page.

Threaten him with something permanent so he screams and begs :)

Not even a finger or two? Bummer. You're not usually this careful. Pull out their nails?

holy shit, youre not kidding. hes all over the news. you should show him.

Now that gives Matthew an idea. He can manage all of those, if he does them in the right order.

Jack is sitting up on the mattress, biting his nails down to the skin, when Matthew comes to get him.

"N-No, please." Jack shrinks away, as though hiding in the corner is going to help. "Please, please don't, p-please-"

"Begging's not gonna get you anywhere, baby boy," Matthew grins. "But keep doing it anyway. It's adorable."

Jack screams and struggles until Matthew slams the back of his head into the wall, so about three seconds. Jack whines and closes his eyes so that the room doesn't jostle with Matthew's careless movement. It doesn't seem like Matthew has an ounce of patience for Jack screaming when he doesn't explicitly want it.

Fine.

Matthew lays Jack on the table and straps him in. Jack immediately notices the television, then everything spins as Matthew tilts the table.

"Can't have you straining your neck to look," he smiles. "Camera on!"

The one thing that Jack can take comfort in is that Matthew looks like an idiot. He really does look like some kidnapper in a movie, black scarf over his mouth hiding his maniacal delight. Not that it's really any comfort at all, but Jack grasps onto it anyway.

"You gonna say hi, Jacky?" Matthew says.

"All of you are horrible people," Jack spits.

"Yeah, yeah, I think we know that," Matthew laughs, then checks his watch. "Anyway, let's watch something. Might take a bit to get to the good part."

Matthew turns on the television, flicking to some celebrity news show that Jack has always been banned from watching or being on.

It plays for a few minutes, and Jack can feel his heart beating in his ears. Is the anticipation a part of it? Jack fidgets in his bindings.

"This is so fun for you," Jack says dryly.

"Wait for it," Matthew says, double checking his watch.

And then Jack sees it. That's him, on the screen, a picture of him at a convention a few years ago. It's the only one the news ever uses, because it's the last time they managed to get a photo of him smiling like that.

It fades out, into an interview, and Jack isn't listening, can't listen, because that's his father, on this show he hates, looking anxious and teary and worried.

Jack hates it. Is it another act? Even he can't tell. He turns away from the screen, angry tears in his eyes.

Matthew watches, and Jack knows that stupid smirk is on his face under his stupid scarf. "What is it, baby boy? You don't like watching? Don't you wanna see your dad?"

"He's lying," Jack mumbles. "He doesn't care."

"That's not a nice thing to say about your dad, Jacky," Matthew says.

"So?" Jack squeezes his eyes shut. "He probably thinks I ran away. He's just using being famous to get me back."

"Oh, that's interesting," Matthew chuckles, and circles around to rest his chin on the top of the table, fingers tracing Jack's cheekbones. "Why would you run away, huh? Come on, you've got nothing to lose by telling."

"Do you think I wanted to be a fucking actor?" Jack snaps, wrenching his face away from Matthew's touch. "I didn't, I hate it, but he wanted me to and I didn't have a fucking choice."

"Daddy issues, huh?" Matthew's tone of voice doesn't waver from amusement. "Doesn't mean he doesn't care about you, baby boy."

"He cares because I look good on camera," Jack mutters.

Matthew laughs. "Can't say I disagree. But come on, I bet he'd care about you getting hurt. Even if it's just 'cause he's not the one hurting you."

"He wouldn't."

"Aw, you sound so sure." Matthew grins as Jack's head snaps to the side at the feeling of a knife against his hand. "We could prove it. You wanna prove it?"

Jack swallows. "What, are you going to send him a video of me?"

"Nah, nah, I'm gonna send him something way more fun," Matthew grins, placing the knife edge on Jack's pinky. "Let's go real cliche. What about your finger in a box?"

Jack's eyes widen. "N-No, no, you said- you said nothing permanent, you--"

"And you didn't think I could change my mind?" Matthew digs in, just a little, and Jack's tiny whimper is music to his ears. "Could be fun. We'll just have to see."

"No!" Jack is already starting to sob. So quick to panic. "No, don't, please, please no, s-something else, anything else, please, you said nothing permanent, please!"

Jack screams - like it's going to help, like it's doing anything but make this even more fun - when Matthew slices, a little droplet of blood trickling down the side of Jack's hand.

"Stop it, stop it, please!" Jack begs, not even caring that he's being filmed, that people are watching this for some kind of sick pleasure, laser focused on the fact that he could lose his finger. "Something else, please, I'm begging you!"

"That you are," Matthew says, pressing Jack's palm flat. "Didn't I already tell you begging wasn't gonna get you anywhere?"

"No, p-please!" Jack's desperate voice breaks. "Something else, something else! Not this, please not this!"

"What else then, huh?" Matthew's other hand slides into Jack's hair. "Go on. What else should I send him?"

"I don't know, I don't know, just not my finger, please--"

"I asked you a question, sweetheart," Matthew says, voice lowering. "I want an answer. Pick something. Something that'll hurt."

What can he afford to lose? Jack wracks his brain for something, something that Matthew will accept, something that will hurt but won't hurt too much and he can send and won't be a finger.

"M-My nails?" Jack tries. Is that enough? Please let it be enough. "Y-You could pull… pull them out."

Matthew's face lights up. Oh, he just knew this was going to be fun. Jack has no idea that he's managed to tumble headfirst into where everyone wants him. He really does know exactly how to behave for a camera.

"Alright," Matthew grins. "One hand or both?"

Matthew has no real intention of letting Jack get away from this with any nails left on his hands, but he wants to see what Jack picks. Wants to see how far Jack thinks he wants to go with this.

"Both," Jack mumbles. "Don't pretend it's a choice."

"No, it is," Matthew lies, and puts the knife down to pick up some tweezers instead. "But you've said both now."

Jack is too panicked to think about whether it's a lie or not, and Matthew knows that. Matthew ignores Jack's pleas to change his answer, holds his hand still as he begs, and can't help laughing at the scream when the first nail is ripped from his finger. By the third nail, Jack is cussing out Matthew and everyone watching with all the swear words he knows. By the seventh, he can't do anything but incoherently sob for it to stop. Matthew holds every single nail up for the camera to see, then sets it aside.

"You're so cute when you beg," Matthew says, kissing the top of Jack's head. "All done now. See ya later, everyone."

And Matthew turns the camera off.

"Don't touch me," Jack gasps, fighting to control his breathing. "Don't fucking touch me, I s-swear--"

Matthew isn't actually expecting any resistance, but Jack manages to grab his ponytail in one bloody, bound hand, and pulls sharply.

"You little shit!"

Matthew's first instinct is to break Jack's fingers for it, but he stops himself, and instead wrenches his hair from Jack's grasp and grabs the knife.

Jack balls his hands into fists. "You're a sadistic fucking freak--"

"Shh," is all Matthew knows he needs to say, because he's holding a knife under Jack's chin.

Jack goes silent.

"That's good," Matthew says. "Now, I'm gonna ask you to do some things, and you're not gonna cry or complain, 'cause I don't have the patience for that when no-one's watching. You just gotta do what you're told."

"Mhm," Jack manages.

"Okay. Gonna unstrap you, and then you're gonna walk with me."

Matthew leaves no room for disagreement. Jack limply slides from the table, and Matthew holds him up by the waist, and pulls him towards the countertops around the room.

"There's a box up there," Matthew says, using the knife to gesture. "Bring it down, and then you're gonna push your nails into it."

Jack obeys, even though he whimpers and almost starts to cry again when he sees his own bloody, broken nails. He makes a point not to look at his hands.

"Tape and paper and pens in that drawer," Matthew says. "Write your address and stick it to the top. Write a little letter if you want. But remember I'm over your shoulder, so don't get any ideas."

"Why are you making me do this?" Jack mumbles.

"DNA, silly," Matthew replies. "I sanitise everything, so it's not on the counters. But I'm not taking more risks than I need to."

Jack writes an I'm sorry before hesitating, and tacking on an I love you.

Jack drops a strand of Matthew's hair into the box with the letter, and immediately shuts it so Matthew won't see. It won't make a difference if Matthew's DNA isn't already somewhere. But on the off-chance it is, Jack can cling to some hope.

taglist: @bloodinkandashes @itsmyworld23 @rabbitdrabbles

[carelessflower]

angel for angel

The music blazed around them, people lost in the feel, in their heartbeats, in others. 

"So, spill it." Izzy took another sip of her cocktail. "What's made you suddenly change your mind, dear brother? And to this specific place." She eyed Alec and took in every changing detail on his face. It wasn't that Angel was a bad club, it was quite the opposite. The design took guests from one level of amazement to the other, classy yet sensual, the lights shone like galaxies.

She was very much surprised she hadn't heard of this club before, yet her what-a-party-can't-we-just-stay-home brother did. 

"I just feel like changing the air for a while." Alec tugged on his black shirt's sleeve, probably the tightest piece in his closet. He's made an effort in his appearance overall, the black leather pants that were buried deeper than their mom's wine collection were finally brought to use. Izzy would be impressed with her brother if she didn't catch how he constantly looked at some scene behind him.

"Are you gonna go talk to him or continue acting like a creep?" Of fucking course it was Magnus that got her brother possessed and illogical. Who else?

"I can't, Izzy. He didn't want to see me." Alec looked miserable. Izzy hated it. Hated all of this. She hated that it happened. She hated how she couldn't blame it entirely on Magnus for the breakup, or that he broke her brother's heart. 

Magnus was dancing with somebody, even from a distance, she could feel the energy radiating from him, that spark no one could resist. He was enjoying himself, at least. It had been half a year or so, there was more in life than one's broken heart, Izzy knew that from experience.

She sighed.

Alec needed a distraction, cornering him into a wall would only lead to him closing off again. At least, not today.

"Look at your face, Alec. Raziel, I thought they banned misery at the club. Tell you what, I'll call Jace here, we're gonna get shit-faced, wake up with a joint headache tomorrow and hear Mom complain for three hours. Deal?"

Alec smiled lightly. It wasn't big, but it was a hopeful start. "Deal."

—

Izzy came back to her brother missing. She was nearly at her breaking point.

"Jace, do you feel Alec is in danger?"

"No?" Jace scrunched his eyebrows. "He is warm...and fuzzy? Not quite drunk either, just really excited."

Her phone buzzed in her pocket. She turned it on and read the most recent notification. I'm leaving. You and Jace have a fun night. Don't worry about me.

Well, that was most definitely the best way to make people stop worrying.

"Should we track him?" Jace was already ready with his stele.

"Let him be," Izzy said. Maybe Alec needed more time for himself. "We'll intervene if he gets caught in trouble."

The next morning came, and Alec still hadn't come back. Despite Jace's attempt at assuring her that Alec was absolutely better than fine and probably the happiest he had been in a while, Izzy felt the need to call him for confirmation.

One long pause. 

Two long pauses.

"Huh— hello? Izzy? Did something happen?"

"No, everything is fine." She paused for a moment. "Where are you Alec? You totally bailed on us last night."

"Oh shit, I'm so sorry. Something came up and hey—" Alec was ...laughing? What the fuck? "Magnus! Stop it! Control yourself, I'm talking—" On the other line, it sounded like the phone had fallen somewhere. Perhaps Magnus's bed. 

She needed some time to take all of this in first.

Alec picked up again, the joy was undeniable in his tone. "Ugh, so sorry for that. My company has no manners." Izzy could practically feel how they were looking at each other right now. 

She calmed herself down. "I don't care when you're coming back. I want a detailed report on whatever went down, or else Church might find new chew toys in your closet. Understood?"

"Fine."

"And tell Magnus I say hi."

"I will—" The line cut off.

"What happened?" Jace asked. "And why you're smiling?"

"Fate finds its way somehow." Izzy rolled her eyes but she knew how happy she was. Magnus left Angel with an angel in his arms. They were so ridiculous.

for @malectober day 1 prompt angel