#The ants have one (ants. Not to be confused with the worms)
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charles-and-no-one-else · 11 months ago
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yeah if any one cares, I made a playlist and am in the process of writing of a Charles centric fic
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dioslesbianwife · 2 months ago
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Can I please request the Jojo's with the most wholesome cinnamon roll partner the type of person who cried because she stepped on a bug and now the bug family must miss them.
Their partner making the cutest lunches ever with notes saying how much she loves them 💖
sure this is so cute, i hope you enjoy and thank you for requesting :33
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Jonathan Joestar
Jonathan is already the human embodiment of a golden retriever boyfriend, so when he meets someone even softer than him? He’s absolutely smitten.
When you cry because you accidentally stepped on a bug and whisper, “What if he had a little beetle wife and three beetle children…” Jonathan kneels down beside you and holds your hands so gently:
“Let’s say a prayer for him, my dear. May his beetle family find peace.”
He's genuinely touched by your compassion. Your gentleness gives him strength, and he tries to match your level of empathy in everything he does.
The first time you pack his lunch, he’s shocked by how beautiful it is. You cut the fruit into little hearts and arranged tiny sandwiches shaped like flowers. And then he finds the note.
“To my brave and handsome gentleman ♡ ♡ ♡ I’m so proud of you!! Eat lots and don’t forget you’re loved ♡  –Y/N”
He tears up. In front of everyone.
Joseph Joestar 
Joseph acts like a goof, but when he sees how sincere and tender you are, it absolutely melts him.
He teases you when you cry over the squished ant (“Was his name Tony?! Did you kill Tony the ant?!”), but when he sees how genuinely sad you are, he immediately goes full boyfriend mode. “Hey, hey, c’mere- how about we save a worm from the sidewalk next time? Bug karma, right?”
When you start packing his lunches? He brags to EVERYONE.
“Look at this adorable rice ball!! Shaped like me!! She made it with love, Caesar, try to compete with that.”
He reads the notes out loud with a sappy voice and kisses the paper like a drama king.
“To my one and only, the most heroic dork in the world- ♡  GOD she loves me so much- wait, what’s this? A stick figure of me punching a vampire? I’M FRAMING THIS.”
Jotaro Kujo
At first, your overflowing affection and softness confuse him.
You wept for a full 10 minutes because he killed a spider that “wasn’t hurting anyone!!!” and now you’re pacing the kitchen whispering, “What if he was bringing food home to his babies-”
Jotaro: “…You want me to go dig a grave for the spider?”
You: “... Could you?”
He does it.
He acts annoyed by the cutely packed lunches, but he never misses a single one. They always disappear. Every single time.
The first time he finds a note that says, “Don’t forget you’re amazing, Jotaro, Star Platinum isn’t the only one who’s got your back!” he hides it in his wallet and reads it on lonely nights.
Jotaro isn’t good with words, so when you cry over injured pigeons or send him off with “have a heroic day, my angel!” he just blushes and grunts,
“…Yare yare… you're too good for this world.”
Josuke Higashikata
The minute he realizes you have that kind of softness? He vows to protect you with his life.
Josuke is good at matching your emotions too, so when you cry over accidentally stepping on a caterpillar, he’s right there with tissues like,
“He probably had a name… like, uhh… Mr. Squiggles or something. It’s okay, babe. We’ll plant flowers in his memory.”
When you give him a lunch box shaped like a cat’s face and inside is a smiley-face made out of rice and seaweed?? He SCREAMS.
He takes selfies with his lunch every day and sends them to you with captions like:
“Best. Girlfriend. Ever. Look at this masterpiece!!!”
He keeps every love note, even the silly ones like “you’re the king of my heart (and my favorite pompadour ♡)”
Giorno Giovanna
Giorno is so used to cruelty and cold ambition, he doesn’t know what to do when he meets someone genuinely sweet.
You once cried because a bee drowned in your tea. Giorno silently used Gold Experience to make a new one, then handed it back to you like nothing happened.
You whispered, “You’re my hero,” and he literally looked like you just stabbed him with love.
He sees your kindness as revolutionary. He’s so moved that you choose to care so deeply about the smallest lives.
Your bento boxes are art. You include color themes, edible flowers, and once even made a tiny pastry version of his ladybug brooch.
Giorno is silent when he reads your love notes… then folds them carefully and tucks them into a hidden drawer.
They remind him of the world he wants to create: gentle, safe, and full of warmth.
Jolyne Cujoh
Jolyne pretends your wholesome vibes are way too much for her, but secretly? She’s obsessed.
“You’re crying over a bug again? Ugh… c’mere you soft weirdo, let me hold you.”
(She’s rubbing your back while you sob about how “he probably had tiny dreams and little bug hopes-”)
When you start packing her lunches- either from outside the prison or getting to the lunch line early to make the gross cafeteria food at least presentable- She’s shook.
You make every meal look so cute along with a note that says:
“You’re the coolest girl in the world and I love you more than butterflies love sunshine and nectar ♡”
She straight-up flexes that lunch in the prison yard.
“Yeah, I’ve got someone who actually loves me. What about it?”
She’ll act like she doesn’t care, but she reads those notes before bed every single night.
Johnny Joestar
Johnny has a lot of pain in his heart, and when you show him so much softness, he doesn’t know how to receive it at first.
He asks, confused: “Why… do you care so much about everything?”
When you gently explain that the world has enough cruelty, and you want to be something kinder in it, he stares at you in awe.
One day you’re sobbing because you accidentally kicked over an anthill and you’re whispering, “I’ve destroyed their kingdom… the queen is probably weeping,”
And Johnny just strokes your hair and goes, “Damn… I love you.”
You pack him the cutest lunches full of squishy fruit gummies, sandwiches shaped like horses, and smiley cheese cubes.
He reads your notes with trembling fingers and starts believing- really believing- that he deserves love after all.
Josuke Higashikata (Gappy)
Josuke is extremely confused at first. You’re the first person to be so affectionate and pure.
The first time you cry because you stepped on a snail, he thinks he did something wrong. But you just whisper, “Snail heaven better be nice…” and he realizes you’re just like this.
He gets really protective of you. He doesn’t want the world to crush your spirit.
When you give him a lunch with strawberries cut like hearts and a note that says, “No matter what happens, I’m proud of you ♡”-he hides behind a tree to cry.
He keeps the notes in a shoebox under his bed and reads them when he’s anxious. They mean more to him than you’ll ever know.
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romanticandupsetting · 10 months ago
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UNDER YOUR SKIN ^.^
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kise ryota x gn!reader
in which your cute boyfriend does his skin care routine while you watch him lovingly, the same way you did when he first introduced you to his little routine.
tags: fluff, short fic, high school timeline, kise is a bubbly boy while reader has kind of a cool persona, this is so sweet the ants migrated, no beta im doing my skincare as i write
words: 390
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you with your lovesick grin, all tucked on a fluffy stool chair watching your boyfriend put stuff on his face while wearing a bunny headband.
it was surprising the first time you discovered how deep into skin care kise ryota was but considering his successful career as a model, you felt a little dumb for not expecting that.
every now and then, he would even go home carrying a cute tote bag full of skin care products he got for free.
"you having a sugar baby side hustle i didn't know about??" you peer at him happily unpacking his little bag.
he huffs. "mean! i was at a modeling gig and they gave me stuff!!" you open your mouth to retort but he's faster. "and before you say 'so they think you're ugly?' just so you know, they want me to be their next model! isn't that so cool, y/n-chin?!"
he looks at you with those sparkles in his eyes.
you give him a lopsided grin. "that's great, baby," you compliment as you kiss him on the cheek. "so tell me about this little haul."
he smiles even wider, happy that you're interested. ryota starts explaining them one by one and some confuse you because you don't know if he uses those products everyday and it feels like it will take him an hour and—did he just say that that face mask take five hours to use?!
"actually..." you know that look. he wants something. "i think it'd be super nice if we could share! not that your skin is bad or anything, y/n-chin but i just think it'd be fun... if you wanna be into this kinda stuff..."
you look at him softly, admiring how bashful he looks as if you haven't been dating for 6 months.
"i'd love to, ryo."
"y/n-chin, come on. let's rinse your face now!"
a year later, with the same smiles on both your faces, you walk up to him.
"coming~"
your feet slowly lead you towards him. he steps aside to give you some room to wash your face, watching your reflection in the mirror.
"if i was a worm, i'd wanna be the type that lives under your skin. then i can feel how smooth your face is all the time."
he shudders. "don't be creepy, y/n-chin."
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bellatrixobsessed1 · 3 months ago
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Petal By Petal
Summary: Azula is trying to feel like herself again. Mai and TyLee take her on a picnic.
Mai watches dragonflies. Azula counts the spaces between the cattails that surround the pond. TyLee skips stones. Azula counts the rigglets on the pond. 
The world around smells like damp moss and burnt wood, the best of all of the elements. Azula digs her fingers into the soft dirt and hopes that she won’t find any worms. She doesn’t think that she is digging deep enough to worry about the things that wriggle. She finds it to be rather dull, their trips to the pond. But maybe that’s what she needs. Duller days.
“This is a red swampdragon. It’s a dragonfly that favors ponds and, of course, swamps.” Mai explains. “But they also like creeks…”
It’s kind of nice to hear her talk about things that interest her, she hadn’t done much of that when they were out chasing Zuzu and the Avatar. Mai says that it is nice to have someone to talk to—that Zuko listens, adds his input, and insists that he is intrigued. But she can tell that he’s not all that interested, that he seems to be a bit squeamish about bugs. 
Azula is interested enough. She likes learning new things.
“And the bug by your hand…”
Azula jerks her hand back.
“...is completely harmless, it’s a firefly-grasshopper. When they jump, their bulbs glow. People usually confuse them for firefly-crickets.” Mai takes a seat next to Azula and holds her finger out, waiting for the firefly-grasshopper to crawl or leap onto her finger. 
Azula looks away from Mai to where TyLee busies herself chasing a moth-mantis. 
“Here, why don’t you try to hold it.” 
Azula rubs her lips together. “I…well. I suppose. Just don’t let it hop onto my face.”
“That’s not up to me.” Mai says as she holds the grasshopper firefly out.
“I thought that these were nocturnal.” Azula touches her pointer to Mai’s. 
“Nope. You’re thinking of the firefly-crickets.”
“Then what do they have bulbs for?”
Mai is more than delighted to explain. “To ward off predators. The flash their bulbs when a predator gets too close and if the predator is something like an arachnid it will be temporarily blinded.”
Azula nods. “Fascinating.” Her tone falls a bit flat, but she does mean it. She hopes that Mai understands that. But she is still tired sometimes, still worn out and…
And sometimes she wonders if she will ever truly feel like herself again.
She wonders if Mai and TyLee will start to get sick or bored of her by the time she does.
She knows that she probably shouldn’t be poking at the firefly-grasshopper if she doesn’t want it hopping onto her face, but she is curious about how that little bulb feels. 
“Hey look! I found a ladybee!” TyLee calls. Azula wishes that she could muster up a fraction of that enthusiasm. 
“You should probably leave that alone if you don’t want to get stung.” Azula says. 
“Ladybees don’t sting.” Mai replies. “Bumblebees might sting you but only if you bother them.”
TyLee giggles. “They’re like you, Azula!”
Azula cracks a smile. “Yeah, I guess. Maybe.” She reaches for the small pitcher of dandelion wine that rests on their picnic blanket. It sits next to the plate of watermelons that she had cautioned TyLee to cover up before the ants that now crawl over it could get to it. Azula sighs, she guesses that she won’t be having any more watermelon slices.
“Want another glass?”
“No thanks.”
She probably shouldn’t have one either, she would hate to have Mai or TyLee have to drag her home clumsy and stumbling. She pours herself only a half a glass. She doesn’t want to be like her grandfather anymore than just her name. 
“Rough day?” Mai asks.
Azula shakes her head. No rougher than any other day. All things considered it has been a pretty good day. She shouldn’t be so glum. “It’s a fine day. I guess that I’m just…” trying to claw her way back up. She climbs excruciatingly slowly. 
TyLee plops down next to her and takes her hand. She gives it a squeeze. The firefly-grasshopper propels itself off of her other hand and right onto her head. She jerks and goes rigid. “Mai! Remove the insect from my head!” 
Mai chuckles. 
She grimaces. She can feel its little legs shifting strands of her hair. Through gritted teeth and in a pitch a touch higher than she’d like she says, “Mai…”
“I know, I’ve got it.” 
And she does. She gently untangles the firefly-grasshopper from Azula’s hair and returns it to the grass.
“I didn’t realize that you were scared of bugs.” Mai lifts a brow. 
“I’m not afraid of them, I just don’t like them in my hair or on my face or…” She might be a little afraid of bugs.
“I think that the ladybees are cute. The caterpillars too! Oh and that caterpillbugs.”  TyLee declares. 
Azula has yet to figure out which ones are the caterpillars and which are the caterpillbugs. She wonders how long of hanging out with Mai it had taken TyLee to begin to identify them without having to ask Mai. Not that Azula minds asking. In fact it makes conversation easier when she finds that words aren’t coming to her very readily. 
She leans herself upon Mai’s shoulder and TyLee leans against hers. They stay like that for quite a while watching the clouds drift by. It feels kind of like the old days. When they were kids on the playground of the Academy. A breeze rustles the grass and for a moment she can pretend like it has always been like this. That there hadn’t been anything between their playground days and this moment. That she hadn’t been so lost and so alone for so long. That her her heart and mind haven’t been bruised and bandaged, hemorrhaging and then stitched. Sometimes she fears that the wounds won’t heal and that her soul will be covered in bandages for the rest of her days. She squeezes Mai and TyLee’s hands. The clouds float on by, untroubled. 
And then shades of pink and orange begin to appear on the horizon. 
“Ready to go home, bumblebee?” Mai nudges her.
And Azula manages a laugh. A light, lilting thing.
The sound of it is unfamiliar even to her, she hasn’t made it in quite a while. 
TyLee is beaming from ear to ear. Mai smiles too. She holds out her hand and helps Azula to her feet. And Azula helps TyLee to hers. 
“I’ll shake out the blanket.” Azula says. “But I’m not touching that ant infested plate.”
“That is TyLee’s job.” Mai side the woman in question. “We told her to cover that plate up.” 
TyLee gives a mock pout but makes her way over to the plate and dumps the ants and their watermelon slices into the tall grass for the animals to eat. Azula shakes out and neatly folds the blanket before tucking it back into the picnic basket. Mai loads the uneaten food and some utensils on top of that. The three of them scan the grass for anything that they might have left behind.
TyLee takes Azula’s left hand and Mai takes her right.
And they begin their hike back to the palace, three silhouettes against a sunset. 
“Today was nice.” She muses aloud. 
She feels a bit better. A bit lighter.
“Yeah.” Mai agrees. 
“We can do it again next week.” TyLee says.
“I would like that.” Azula nods. 
“Are you going back to the flower shop with Mai?”
Azula nods. “Where will you be?”
“Here and there.” TyLee replies. It is a very TyLee answer. “But I’ll be sure to be here and not there by next week.”
They reach the flower shop in what seems to her like such a short time. And TyLee is pecking both she and Mai on the cheek and makes a third promise to show up bright and early a week from now.  Mai tells her that bright and midafternoon would work just fine too. 
Azula laughs again. 
Sometimes she doesn’t have much to add to the conversation. 
But she is alright with that. She just likes hearing their voices and being surrounded by people again.
She and Mai watch TyLee disappear down the road where several Kyoshi Warriors meet her. 
“Tea?” Mai offers.
Azula nods. Mai doesn’t have to ask. They always check on the flowers and then take tea before bed. The routine helps. Little by little, petal by petal, outing by outing, and laugh by laugh, Mai and TyLee help her piece herself back together.
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waylamia · 15 days ago
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Questions and Answers
recommended listening: I Look Up To You by LAKE
This is a weird little thing. Idk. just had a thought I needed to get out. pinky swear I'm working on an actual fic. mama has just been. distracted.
general warnings/desc: calebmc of course. reader is mc. reader is not described in anyway physically. angst (no one dies or explodes anymore than usual). formatting is a little...unique on this. mostly dialogue.
approx. 1.4k words
"Where do crayons get their colors from?"
Pigments. Like, crushed up color mixed in with wax.
"Where do pigments get their colors from?"
Lots of stuff. From outside.
"Like... a tree?"
Yeah. Like leaves. Or flowers. Or fruit.
"Like apples!"
Exactly. Like apples.
An introduction isn't the only thing Caleb had to learn to repeat. 'Who are you?' only ever being the first of many questions. You've always had an innate, boundless curiosity. One that was only amplified and renewed every time you... came back.
In the research center, your material for questioning is limited, and so there are some questions he's heard more times than he'd like to count.
"How come our voices bounce around at us?"
The room is empty, and the door is shut, so our voices don't have anywhere to go.
"When it's dark, where does the sun go?"
Somewhere that people who have been in the dark for longer can see it. We take turns.
"Why do needles pinch you when they go in?"
They're reeeally sharp. And skin is soft, and full of nerves. I know it's scary but being sharp is good. It means it's quick, and it hurts the least skin. And it's good that you have nerves too, so your body can tell you when it's scared. You just have to let it know that it's ok. And when it's not, you just have to tell me.
"Do the doctors know we're scared? If we cried, do you think it would help?"
...I'm not scared. And... you... hey. Come over here, close to the glass. If you breathe like this really reeally slow, it'll fog up. See? Now, use your finger to draw shapes and I'll guess em.
-
In your first year in Josephine's care, when the whole world was new, your questions get trickier. Demand more research and guesswork on his part.
"How do planes stay up?"
Because of the wings, and how they move the air around the plane.
"How can the ants carry crumbs that big?"
Because of their exoskeletons, and how light their bodies are, they can carry big stuff because they don't have to worry about carrying themselves.
"Why are peppers spicy?"
Because of a chemical called capsaicin, it makes all of the taste buds in your mouth think they’re being cooked.
"What are the birds chirping about?"
Dunno. Maybe they're keeping track of who's caught the most worms.
"How many stars are there?"
Way too many to count. Try it Pips, count as many as you can.
Each answer is met with silence, a squint in your eye as you focus on absorbing the information. Followed always by an approving hum or a confused mmph. In the latter case, you'd work together, until you could come up with an answer that pleased you.
Caleb was always happy to satisfy you're curiosity. Though, he'll admit...
"What's your favorite color?"
Hmm... Come out of the shade for a sec?
"Ugh. Fine... Hey! Caleb! Watch your fingers! You're gonna poke my eye out!!"
That color. Riiight there.
His favorite questions were always the ones you'd ask about him.
"Who teaches you how to tie shoelaces?"
Caleb does, of course. Come sit in the entryway Pip.
The ones you'd ask about him, and the ones you'd ask about you.
-
They change as you get older, the questions.
"Why does math suck?"
Because someone keeps pretending to fall asleep every time I start explaining how to solve differential equations.
"Caleb, this party is dumb, can we go get ice cream?"
Been waiting to hear you say that for an hour, let's go.
"Why do you always give me all your Valentine's chocolate?"
You like sweets waaay more than I do, Pips. Plus, chocolate just looks like extra miles to me.
"Boo. You didn't tell me I was walking home with no-fun Caleb."
I'll remind you that no-fun Caleb keeps your snack supply well stocked.
They change again, when he leaves for the Aerospace Academy.
"Caleb! What is your braised chicken recipe? Gran and I are craving."
Just watch me make it next time I'm home.
"Repeat: Gran and I are craving NOW."
Patience is a virtue, pip-squeak.
"So is generosity!"
And again, when you leave for college.
"I don't have plans for my next break, are you gonna be home?"
Text me the dates, I'll make it work.
"Have you talked to Gran recently? She said you haven't called in awhile, which I said was weird cuz we've been talking every day."
I'll call her as soon as I'm back from this mission, promise...You're gossiping behind my back with Gran now?
"Only since forever. Anytime you're being big-dummy Caleb."
Your world gets bigger and with it goes the width of your wonderings. Once simple curiosity has long since expanded to interrogation and examination, unprompted quizzing and provocation.
-
What never changes is who you ask your questions to. Even after he's gone, even after he returns. After fighting through 'Where were you?' and 'Why?' and the first 'Who are you?' he isn't sure you want to hear the answer to.
He knows that he's not helping his case, his delicate new place in the life you've had to live without him. If you catch him, if you ask, he'll tell you your bag fell over on it's own, that the notebook slipped out, opened by itself. That he'd only meant to right it, tuck it back away.
"How could you?"
"If you were here, right now, what would you say?"
"What would you do?"
"How would you fix this?"
"How many pairs of shoes did you own? There's nothing left of the house. I remember how many models, I think. But I can't remember your shoes. It's freaking me out."
"What am I supposed to do if it feels like this forever?"
"You never told me the fucking chicken recipe, Caleb. What if I never figure it out?"
"What if I never forgive you?"
He doesn't know how to answer you. He doesn't know if he has the right to.
He writes the braised chicken wing recipe down, tucks it into the page.
Put's everything back in it's place.
-
It's more random now, and darker, the questions you ask. He can't tell what you're looking for. A reaction from him, maybe, some meaning to be gleaned inbetween the words. You've always been curious.
All he can do is answer.
"Does your arm hurt?"
Only when it's under repair.
"...Would it hurt if I bit you?"
Try. Hard as you can.
"If all your friends think you're dead, and you tell all my friends I'm dead, are we ghosts?"
Guess so.
"What's our unfinished business then?"
You tell me.
You ask him questions in his sleep, too.
"Caleb, how come you're always the first one to find me?"
Easy questions, from smaller you's.
Maybe It's because... I love you a little more than you realize.
But the easiest question, you ask him when things are finally better.
Better, relative to your lives, to the threats you are under.
Curled into each other, in his bed, the only time his muscles really untense. Wrapped so around you that the rising sun won't be able to touch you. Breathing you in, breathing out onto you.
"Caleb."
"Yeah, Pips?"
"How do you want to die?"
The world is so quiet, the sky still so dark, there is only room for the easy, easy truth.
"Like this. With you in my arms." He can't tell which of you squeezes first, at the words.
Nothing else matters.
You hum, and he closes his eyes, lets the dark hold you both.
The easiest question, followed by the worst.
"Caleb."
"Mm."
"How do you think you will die?" He tenses. You tuck your head into his chest. Ear to heartbeat. He tries to steady it. He breathes slow.
He thinks about his life, about what he's seen, what he's been through. What he knew and what he knows, now. He thinks about you because he's always thinking about you, because his life is you.
He thinks about the research center, he thinks about the explosion, he thinks about the fleet and Ever and Viper and Lucius.
He thinks about how he'd like to die, and his luck.
"Caleb?"
All he can do is answer.
For the first time in his life, a part of him wishes you hadn't asked.
He pulls you in tighter, throws a leg over yours, fills his lungs, until his ribs expand, tries to fit you in the spaces between.
No room left for anything but the truth.
"Not like that."
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razzle-zazzle · 8 months ago
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Whumptober Day 31: Asking for Help
"I'm alive, I'm just not well."
2376 Words; Coleverlord, various points pre-pilots and end of s1
TW for bugs, body horror imagery
AO3 ver
The sky darkened, Pythor’s laughs echoing across the empty city.
They were too late. The ground trembled, ancient stones creaking and cracking under the sudden strain. Cole stumbled back as the spiral in the arena gave way, a million marching ants blotting out the sun as a giant moving shadow lifted from the ground. The darkness shifted, parting to reveal scales and fangs and two baleful eyes—
She’s gorgeous.
More powerful than I ever imagined.
Beautiful, pure DESTRUCTION—
Yeah, yeah, Cole got the picture. He reached out to steady Kai as the Devourer slithered all the way out of her hole, frills flared. Off to the other side, Pythor was singing similar praise, as though the massive size of the Devourer wasn’t intimidating to him in the slightest.
Which made it all the more satisfying when the Devourer swallowed him whole.
(Cole’s chest lurched when he realized that Wu had been swallowed, too.)
+=+=+=+=+
Wu’s new student wasn’t what Cole expected.
Though, to be fair, Cole wasn’t sure what he expected. So maybe this was normal. Just…
The guy would not stop yapping! He’d introduced himself as Jay Walker, which Cole was pretty sure was a joke except the guy seemed completely serious, and hadn’t given the words any chance to breathe before rambling on about how high up the monastery was, seriously, why did every mysterious mentor figure have to live in fuckass nowhere, did this place even have running water, and wow this mountain air was so much different from the desert, not that he would know that of course because he was totally from the city and not some weird place like a scrapyard, haha, hey where are you from, what’s your name, is there any way he can get his hands on some scrap metal to work with—
“You talk a lot.” Cole commented, the moment Jay stopped to take a breath. It had been a neutral observation, the termites crawling along his bones more confused than annoyed.
But there must have been something about the wasps in his chest, or the worms in his gut, because Jay suddenly deflated, drawing in on himself. “Sorry, I—sorry.��� And he scurried away, down the hall to where Wu had pointed out their bedroom, leaving Cole standing alone in the hallway.
“I didn’t mean…” Ugh. Whatever. Cole knew the effect he had on other people. Wu seemed to be somehow immune to it, probably because he was some kind of dragon in disguise according to the spider in Cole’s brain. But Jay wasn’t a dragon—heck, he was probably nervous talker. Cole should have known it wouldn’t take long to unsettle Jay—it never did.
Cole sighed, and made his way out to the yard to train.
+=+=+=+=+
“It’s gone.” And so was the Destiny’s Bounty, shattered pieces spread wide across the sand. Cole walked to the back of the cave, trying to calm the wasps buzzing in his chest.
“That was too intense.” Kai was panting as he removed his hood, chest heaving as he leaned against the sand bank.
“There’s no time to rest.” Zane urged. “We need to warn people, before it becomes bigger.”
I say let her play, Vessel.
“Bigger?” Jay stood up, “BIGGER?” His voice was edging into hysteria, now, and Cole wanted to take the spiders that were crawling up Jay’s back and snuff them out, “That thing in one bite just crushed our entire ship!” He started to pace around, gesturing wildly. “We need to save as many as we can, we need to find some kind of refuge—oh! The Serpentine Tombs! Yeah, they’re underground, sure, we’ll be without sunlight for months, but they’re perfect!”
“What, and just give up?” No, no, Cole couldn’t give up, he always kept going on no matter what, because it was what he was good at and because ninja never quit—
“We have no chance against that thing!” Jay argued back. Cole wanted to punch him, to grab him by the shoulders and shake him—
To find every shadow that made him doubt himself and BURY IT—
Protect your own, Vessel. Let the Devourer play.
“Guys! Is this what Sensei Wu would have wanted?” And there was Kai, interjecting himself into the argument so seamlessly, “Just running and hiding? Giving up?”
A tactical retreat is not giving up, Vessel.
“But… he’s not here anymore.” Lloyd mumbled. The conversation continued on, Kai urging them all to remember Wu’s teachings—
The spider in Cole’s brain sang so sweetly, spinning a web across his thoughts. He lost the thread of the conversation as shadows blotted out his vision, so many worms starting to eat at his flesh. He imagined his chest splitting, ribs opening up into bloodied wings as a spider emerged from his head, every inch of his body shifting to accommodate its new master—
“Cole?” Zane’s voice cut through the premonition, his hand on Cole’s shoulder.
Cole shook his head. “Sorry. Lost focus.” It wasn’t the first time It showed him that—Cole knew how his path would end. But it wasn’t time for any of that, yet—there was a snake to catch. Zane and Cole ran out into the sands, calling the vehicles hidden in their golden weapons to join up with the others.
+=+=+=+=+
Jay was… Cole was pretty sure Jay was still avoiding him. Sure, Wu insisted on them training together, and Jay didn’t skip out on that—not after Wu saddled him with scrub duty for skipping—but Cole barely saw Jay outside of the training yard. He could hear him, of course, either chattering to Wu or doing something with metal that was loud—
But Cole doubted Jay would ever really like him. And he didn’t have high hopes for the new student Wu was bringing in soon. Or… today, it looked like, Cole coming to a stop at the edge of the yard as he noticed the new arrival.
“New student?” Cole asked, drawing Wu’s attention. The guy next to him turned as well, regarding Cole with not quite hostility, not quite interest. At least, insofar as Cole could tell.
“Hello. I am Zane.” The new guy introduced himself, holding out a hand. Cole took it, ignoring the isopods scuttling under his skin and the centipedes biting at his spine. Zane’s pleasant smile did not change as he and Cole shook hands—was he like Wu, then? A dragon in disguise, unbothered by the spider in Cole’s brain?
No, he feels as normal as you mortals come.
Okay. That was… huh. “I’m Cole.” Cole said, waiting for the moment where Zane would yank his hand back and find somewhere else to be. The moment where the shadows clinging to his feet reached over to Zane’s ankles—
“It is nice to meet you, Cole.” Zane said instead, releasing the handshake normally. “I sense we will do great things together.”
Cole’s face burned. That was—oh, wow.
Vessel, don’t get attached.
The spider in his brain bit down, millions of termites digging into his bones. Zane’s smile finally faltered, face returning to a neutral expression, and Cole pulled back. Shadows curled at the corners of his vision—he should leave. Zane was already walking away.
Wu had disappeared somewhere—to go find Jay, maybe? Zane was poking around the training course curiously. Cole should definitely leave, before he unsettled Zane further. Maybe he shouldn’t have accepted Wu’s offer. Maybe he was doomed to always be stuck in the spider’s shadow, only truly loveable by the very thing that made him so unloveable—
“Do you want to run the course with me? I’m afraid I don’t know how to start it.” Cole flinched, stumbling over flat ground and falling to the dirt in surprise. He rolled over, looking up at Zane, face getting progressively hotter—
“I.” Cole sat up slowly. “You startled me.” Which was definitely not what Cole was used to.
“My apologies.” Zane offered his hand, but Cole stood on his own.
Hm. Maybe Wu taking on other students wouldn’t be too awful.
+=+=+=+=+
“ZANE!”
Shadows clawed at Cole’s brain, and the Devourer withdrew back into the earth. House centipedes scrabbled at Cole’s bones, a million buzzing flies in his ears as he fought to escape his seatbelt. “Is everyone okay?” He needed to get out out out—
Vessel, calm—
“Right here.” Zane’s voice cut through the buzzing, canisters clanking as they fell away. Cole winced—half of Zane’s face had been scraped right off, revealing the metal beneath. “That was close.”
You still want me to let her play? Cole wondered, even though he knew—whatever the spider wanted, It would get. And It wanted the Devourer to cause havoc, to “play.”
I will not let you come to harm, Vessel.
It was the most that Cole could expect It to concede. He picked his way out of the wreckage, making his way over to the others. He didn’t care if he got hurt—he just wanted his friends to be okay. Was that so much to ask?
“Too close.” Kai agreed.
“Perfect. Now that was a total failure!” Jay complained.
“Not total!” Kai argued, “Did you guys notice, on its forehead—it has a weak spot!”
I thought I removed that…
“Ohhh, great, lemme make a note of that.” Jay chirped, miming writing a note. “Giant snake has wee itty bitty weak spot that’ll be TOTALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO GET AT BECAUSE THE THING IS TOO RIDICULOUSLY HUGE TO DO ANYTHING TO STOP IT!”
“Are you done?” Nya asked. Jay heaved, hissing through his teeth before, “Yes.”
“Guys, where’s the Devourer going?” Lloyd asked, pointing to where it had surfaced again and was beelining away. Cole flinched the moment he recognized the route—
“It’s going to Ninjago City!” Zane announced.
Ohhhhh, that was not good. If it ate something that big—
Shadows bloated out Cole’s vision. He stumbled, feeling the vague sensation of a hand on his arm through the haze of worms squirming under his skin. The spider still wanted the Devourer to play, still wanted Cole to stay out of the way—
But how was Cole supposed to do that? Jay’s parents were in Ninjago City. Jay would be devastated if they were eaten. Cole couldn’t just stand by and let that happen. He was supposed to protect his own, wasn’t he? There was no way Jay wouldn’t go to Ninjago City—
Fine, then. Go and throw yourself into the jaws of death.
I’ll pull you out, but I won’t stop you.
+=+=+=+=+
Wu’s new student was brushing his teeth. Cole, Jay, and Zane watched from the rafters, waiting for the perfect moment to strike—
The new guy shifted, glancing over his shoulder. The spider in Cole’s brain spun a web of shadows, Jay and Zane shifting in response—
“What the—” Now! Cole jumped down, scythe flashing in the lamplight. Twin thuds signaled Jay and Zane’s arrivals, the three of them completely surrounding the new student, who tightened his grip on his toothbrush.
The next several minutes were a riot of chaotic thrashing about. The chase brought the four of them through the halls, back up into the rafters, out onto the roof—at some point, the four of them had eschewed proper technique entirely, devolving into a chaos of thrashing and grappling. Cole’s head was pounding, the spider in his brain biting, shadows swirling into his vision as they all fell from the roof out into the yard—
The new student grabbed a training sword and hit Jay with it, forcing him back. Cole untangled himself from Zane and stood, leveling his scythe at the new guy—
“Enough.” Cole muttered, the pressure in his head intensifying. The shadows clawed their way up the new guy’s pajamas, making him flinch back as Cole tried his best to loom. Cole advanced a step, and the guy fell backwards onto his ass, face contorted in a scowl as he scrabbled for his weapon—
“Enough!” Wu’s voice cut through the night, bringing them all to a halt. The wasps in Cole’s chest subsided, the shadows retreating. The new guy stood quickly, knuckles white around the hilt of his sword—but he was otherwise fine, standing tall like he hadn’t just taken the brunt of the shadow in Cole’s mind.
Wu explained—wait, had he not told this guy that he had other students? Really? Cole shrugged—Wu withheld the strangest things. Their practice gis were exchanged for new ones; Cole’s new gi was just as black as before—
The color of the earth, and the shadows that hide within it.
The shadow sounded vaguely proud. Cole’s shoulders hiked, his face flushing behind his mask—
“What was that?” Kai was asking, gesturing loosely towards Cole.
“That was you getting totally Coled.” Jay bragged, before launching into a litany of his habits. “…a little bit of poetry—”
“More like mouth of lightning.” Cole commented, focusing in on the current conversation. He nudged Kai with his scythe. “Nice to meet you, kid. I’ll watch your back.”
+=+=+=+=+
Slime exploded outwards, splashing across what felt like the whole city. Cole stumbled back, grabbing onto Kai’s arm—the sheer force of the wave was almost enough to knock him to the ground. But he stood, shadows lacing into his bones to hold him steady, and the wave subsided.
Ewww, everything was sticky now. And the spider was scurrying around Cole’s skull, hissing displeasure at the Devourer’s death.
They made their way down to street level, Jay running over to his parents and being pulled into a hug. Garmadon was nowhere to be found—
(“You won’t give them back.” It wasn’t a question. It was barely even an accusation.
Garmadon shrugged. “What other choice do you have?” There was no point in denying it.)
Cole gasped. “Sensei Wu!” And there he was, standing up in a particularly thick patch of slime, looking none the worse for wear.
Of course he survived. Did you expect anything different, Vessel?
All six of them piled into the slime, tackling Wu in a hug from every direction. Cole’s arms ended up around Jay and Zane, his face pressed into the junction of Wu’s neck and shoulder. He got a faceful of slime for it—but he just didn’t care. His friends were all together and safe and whole—
Cole was doomed, he knew.
But he could still enjoy these moments while they came.
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jhilsara · 1 year ago
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I Can See You
Pt. 1/ Pt. 2/ Pt. 3/ Pt. 4/ Pt. 5/pt. 6/Pt. 7/Pt. 8/Pt. 9/ Pt. 10/
Pt. 11/ Pt.12/Pt.13/Pt. 14/Pt.15/Pt.16/Pt.17/END
Mariana Jimenez-Watson or MJ works in a normal pub living life paycheck to paycheck. Nothing exciting happens to her except the occasional drunk getting thrown out. She's 24 working away and finds a wrench thrown into her very boring life. His name is Hobie and she thinks maybe, a little excitement isn't awful. In fact she might start to crave some change for once.
Small moments of Hobie meeting his world's MJ. AKA I made an MJ variant and I think she's neat.
Chapter 15
She is mortified, Mariana is utterly and fully mortified. Her jaw is dropped and her face is burning from anger and embarrassment.
“Mum! ¿Pensé que hablamos de que llamabas antes de que decidieras venir?” MJ says in a strained voice looking at her mother like she’s insane.
To be fair, her mother was.
“I don’t need to call ahead Mari, I am your mother.” She says sternly, glaring at MJ. She turns to look back at Hobie, eying him skeptically from head to toe.
“Please tell me he is at least your boyfriend.” She demands judgmentally raising a plucked brow.
MJ groans and shakes her head, “Mum we have talked about this, you have to call before you come over. End of discussion. Also, please don’t call me Mari. Adiós.” She replies coldly.
Her mother glares at her, huffs exaggeratedly and throws her hands in the air before she turns on her heels. She mutters under her breath as she shoves past Hobie, slamming the door shut as she leaves.
Hobie stands in front of the bedroom doorway, stunned and confused.
“What the bloody hell was that?” He asks tentatively, looking at her cautiously, as if he’s opening a can of worms.
She sighs and falls on the bed, “Do we have to talk about it?” She mutters pulling a pillow over her face.  
“I think so… I have too many questions.” He says softly and sits on the edge of the bed.
MJ turns away from him, curling into a ball and gripping onto the pillow like a vice, close to her stomach. She squeezes her eyes shut. She doesn’t want to do this, not now.
“That’s my mum… we don’t really talk.” She mutters, she pauses and sighs. “well more like I don’t talk to her. She has plenty to say all the time.” She whispers.
She feels Hobie’s large warm hand press against her back gently, rubbing circles.
It makes her want to vomit. She feels her skin prickle against his soft touch. She doesn’t want to think about her mother. Her mother’s presence always leaves her feeling like she’s drowning, gasping for air.
“There’s a reason yea?” he asks softly.
She groans in irritation, “It doesn’t matter, I don’t want to talk about it… she’s just going to bother me for a few weeks then piss off.” She hisses out in irritation.
Silence sits heavy between them. She feels hot anger just running through her body, but then she feels how heavy Hobie’s hand is on her back.
She immediately feels guilt sitting like a lead weight in her chest and her eyes fly open and she turns to look at him, “Sorry… I don’t mean to be bitchy to you.”
She pushes herself up and leans against him, “My mum, she just wants me to be her perfect Columbian daughter… and I’m…not.” She whispers to him, looking down at her lap.
He presses himself against her, kissing the top of her head. “We don’t have to talk about it.” He tells her.
She just nods and curls herself into his lap. Her moods shifted to one that only lingers when her mother is involved.
She feels like she’s tainted her time with Hobie, her mind whirling over what her mum wants.
She just lays with him until they fall asleep again. His hands softly brushing through her hair. 
MJ’s sitting at a coffee shop, legs shaking in anticipation, waiting for her mother. Her arms are crossed, she’s already defensive and her nerves are on edge. She feels like she’s fifteen again. She grabs her coffee and almost chugs it, just to give her something to do.
It doesn’t make her feel less anxious, in fact coffee probably is the opposite of what she needs, but she doesn’t care. She’s half awake and exhausted.
Her mum texted her what time and what coffee shop she wanted to meet at. So of course, the woman’s late and of course it’s ungodly early when MJ always works the night shift.
Her mum wasn’t ever known to be considerate of others though.
She’s uneasy and has no idea what her mother even wants to talk to her about. She just knows she’s not excited and her mother’s appearance always puts her on edge and jumpy.
“You’re early.” Her mother says as she sits down across from her. Legs crossed raising a brow at MJ. Her gaze always sharp and critical.
“No, you’re late.” She sighs already feeling the argument brewing before it even starts. “What do you want mum?” she says, looking unamused at her mum.
Her mother scoffs, “I just wanted to visit your new place, something wrong with that?”
A waiter comes and places an espresso in front of her mum who couldn’t be bothered to notice.
MJ gives him a tight smile and a small nod of acknowledgement.
Her gaze travels back to her mum, “I’ve lived there for three years now… it’s not new.” She states coldly.
Her mother rolls her eyes, “Well it’s new to me. Besides if I had known you’d had company I would have never come in.” She gives MJ a pointed look. As if she magically would know her mother was going to stop by.
“So, is he your boyfriend? The last time I checked you were with that girl, what was her name?” Her mother takes a sip of her espresso acting like she cares enough about MJ’s life.
Which if she had she would have known MJ’s past relationship ended five years ago and she hasn’t bothered since.
“Her name was Quinta mum, that’s not the point and it’s not what you wanted to talk to me about.” She raises a brow at the woman, already sick of where this conversation was going.
“Oh yes that’s right, Quinta… so you’re not gay then?” She whispers gay to MJ like it’s poisonous.
She huffs and goes to stand, “I’m bi mum. Me liking or dating a man right now does not change that I like women as well. I’ve told you this. If you only have to make comments about my lack of a dating life I am leaving.” MJ reaches down to grab her bag but is stopped by her mothers’ hand.
Her mother’s gaze won’t meet hers but her demeanor changing is enough to halt MJ’s movements.
“It’s your abuela, Mariana…She’s not,” Her mum pauses and it’s the closest thing to sadness she thinks she’s ever seen on her face.
“She’s not well.” She finishes with a whisper.
MJ doesn’t move, her own thoughts stirring and racing a mile a minute. It makes her sit back down in her chair.
“What’s wrong with her? Is she dying?” She asks her voice shaking as she looks at her mum.
Her mother just rolls her eyes, “Oh please, she’s too stubborn to die at this age.” She takes a sip of her espresso.
“She’s requesting we all get together though, for a family dinner.” She tells MJ with a pointed look.
MJ bristles at this. “Mum, you know how I feel about going to events like that…”
Her mother huffs in irritation. “It’s your familia Mari, you know they miss you. They ask about you at every birthday, which you’ve missed the past... I don’t even know how many! Your tía’s upset, you’ve never used to miss them.” 
Her mother’s tone is a mix of anger and disappointment that MJ definitely doesn’t need right now. She stares down MJ with her dark eyes and it makes her feel like she’s a child again, with her angry mother who was always picking at something she didn’t like about her own daughter.
“Mum, I’m not going. You’re just using abulea as an excuse! Is she even sick?” MJ asks in disbelief.
Her mother just shrugs, “Yes, she has a cold.”
MJ stands abruptly and grabs her bag, “I wish I could say I can’t believe this but that would be a lie. I can believe you would lie to get me to go to a family gathering!” She shakes her head and shoots a glare at her mother.
“Oh, please don’t be so dramatic! Always the drama queen with you. Why won’t you just visit your family. Family is everything to us!”
MJ feels the rage boiling to the surface, and she has to remind herself she’s in public but she also doesn’t care anymore.
“I am not dramatic! I don’t go anymore because no one respects my boundaries! They’ve never looked at me the same after I came out and every time I see tía she’s asking if I have a boyfriend or if I’ve gotten over my ‘phase’!” She tells her with a sharp voice.
“They don’t know me mum, they don’t want to. I’m tired of having to dance around them all the time… Dad never does that to me…” She mumbles angerly.
Her mothers face sours at that statement. She scoffs before looking at MJ again. “He’s too soft on you, always coddling you, Mari you’re grown. You have obligations to your family.”
She glares at her mother, “I do not. And he doesn’t coddle me mum. He loves me and his love doesn’t come with unspoken conditions.” She hisses out and turns on her heels to walk away. Trying to not start a full-blown fight with her mother.
“Mari this is why you can’t keep anyone around! All you’ve ever done is push people away, you’re so selfish.” Her mother says to her, tone cold and distant.
This is why I don’t love you, goes unsaid, but it lingers in the air between her and her mother. MJ knows how her mom feels about her. She’s always known.
It still stings and breaks her heart in a way she thought would stop by now.
MJ ignores her and keeps briskly walking. Hot tears burn the corners of her eyes but she refuses to cry over this woman anymore.
Everything with her mother has a fine print she must follow, a condition she has to meet. Her love comes at a price she just refuses to pay anymore.
“That boy will leave you too if you don’t fix your attitude!” Is the last thing she hears her mother shout at her before the door slams shut behind her.
MJ presses the heels of her palm to her eyes and tries to not cry. The last comment hurts in a way she wasn’t prepared for.
It’s never a good day when her mum shows up.
MJ calls out of work that night, instead choosing to sulk in her living room eating junk food. She’s curled up on her couch eating popcorn when she hears a familiar knocking at her balcony door.
She ignores it at first. She doesn’t want to move from her spot on the couch.
Then she hears it again, a little louder and more persistent.
She lazily drags her eyes over to the door and sees Hobie standing there. She can’t see his face too well but she does see he’s holding a bag of take away.
She stands up and drags herself to the door opening it for him.
He looks her over and frowns. She can’t find it in her to care, she knows she looks bad. She knows she’s wallowing in self-pity. It’s just how it goes after her mother visits.
She’s drained and if she’s honest, doesn’t want to see anyone.
Hobie places a gentle hand on the small of her back guiding her back to the couch. He’s saying something, she sees his mouth moving, hears words coming out, but it all sounds garbled.
It makes her prickle uncomfortably. She feels her anger still lingering in her body and she doesn’t want Hobie to see this side of her. It’s the worst of her and she’s ugly when she get’s like this.
He’s being soft and gentle, speaking to her softly in a way that’s chiseling away at her cracked facade.
So, she bites.
“You didn’t have to bring me food. I’m fine.” She tells him, voice sharper than she means to be. Words she doesn’t mean.
He looks at her skeptically for a second, taken a back.
“I know, Andy said ya called out tonight. Wanted to swing by.” He tells her, giving no reaction to her tone. He gets comfortable on the couch, waiting for her to settle back down.
“You don’t have to check on me. I’m not sick.” She says, cringing at her own tone of voice. It’s coated in irritation and she can’t stop.
It didn’t matter that Hobie was being nice, checking on her, bringing her dinner, just being his normal Hobie self.
In a weird act of self-preservation, she does what she’s always done, pushes back. She feels like a kicked dog, biting at anyone regardless on if they’re trying to help.
She suddenly remembers what her mother told her today, and she knows she proving her right, but she can’t stop. It’s like she’s on an autopilot and it’s too keep everyone away.
Hobie raises a brow at her but doesn’t move. “I know. I wanted to.” He says softly not raising his voice.
“Why?” She asks him, tone harsh. She’s still standing, refusing to sit on the couch. She’s been winding up all day in her own head and Hobie’s unfortunately about to be the recipient of her anger.
She hates herself. Hates how she bites back to keep herself safe and secure when she’s been wounded.
He leans forward and looks at her in confusion. “I care about your wellbeing…? ya okay? Did something happen today?” he asks her voice even and calm. Just looking at her in concern.
Yes, she thinks to herself, her mum happened.
“No, I’m fine.” She lies through her teeth. “I just don’t know why your bothering with this.” She says raising her voice. She crosses her arms over her chest and she avoids looking directly at him. She doesn’t know why he bothers with her.  She’s not special, she works at a pub for Christ sake and here’s a man who literally saves the city day and night.
Why does he like her? She doesn’t even like herself.
 She’s spiraling.
“People who are ‘fine’ don’t usually say it aggressively.” He tells her softly. He stands up and walks over to her, she flinches and he stops moving.
She’s clamming up, doesn’t want to move or talk. She’s ready for a fight, an argument, something! Not… whatever Hobie’s doing.
“MJ-” He starts but she cuts him off.
“Just go. Get out, you checked on me and I’m fine alright, I just want to be alone today!” She says looking up to glare at him, her voice raising.
He looks unamused but doesn’t move to leave.
“Mariana ya clearly not alright. Just tell me what happened yea?” he asks her.
He never once raises his voice. It unsettles her.
“Why won’t you fight back? Why aren’t you angry?” She asks voice straining and her façade breaking. She doesn’t know what to do with his reactions.
“A little annoyed yea, but not mad. Something’s clearly wrong. I’m not gonna argue or fight ya.” He tells her calmly. He shoves his hands into his pockets and just shrugs.
She bristles at his words and feels herself dig her nails into her palms.
He tilts his head and gives her a soft look, “I’m not gonna yell at you Mariana. I won’t.”
She instantly deflates. All of her anger washes out and is replaced with an overwhelming sense of relief and sadness.
She covers her face and tries to hold back how much she just wants to cry.
“I’m sorry.” She says her voice cracking, “It’s been a rotten day and I can’t... I can’t understand why you care so much when I’m not special.” She tells him, voice quiet.
She hunches over on herself, and Hobie thinks she’s never looked so small before.
He steps closer to her, gently pulling her into his embrace. “Who told you that?” He asks her, his voice thick. He presses a kiss to the top of her head.
She bristles, feeling the tears burning at the edge of her vision, everything getting blurry. Her senses are overloaded with him, his scent, his touch, his voice…She just wants to be consumed in it. He feels safe, like home.
“No one had to tell me, not when she makes me feel it every time.” She says, her voice watery and her tears falling onto his shoulder. She tries to hold herself together, but she can’t. A broken sob escapes her.
Hobie rubs soothing patterns into her back affectionately. “So, it was your mum.” It’s not a question, but a statement.
She freezes, but she knows there’s no use in hiding it. She’s crying into him already, he didn’t run or get angry at her when she snapped at him… she has nothing to lose.
“Every time I see her it’s like I’m a teenager who just keeps disappointing her and I don’t, I can’t be what she wants me to be.” She cries into him, her bodies shaking and he holds her to him tightly. Listening.
“She wants this perfect daughter, one who’s straight and can give her grandchildren and do whatever she says… she’s never once asked me what I wanted.” She unloads her worries onto him through broken sobs and she doesn’t know if he can understand a word she says. She’s word vomiting. It just keeps coming out.
She’s soaking his shirt, she knows it, but she can’t stop. She doesn’t know how long she stands there sobbing into him, but she eventually calms down enough to breath.
She looks up at him, and she knows she looks a mess, with her red eyes and puffy face. He pulls back enough to gently grab her face, kissing her forehead.
“It’s gonna be okay. Don’t worry about what a tosser your mum is or what she wants. All that matters is you.” He tells her.
She nods, she’s listening, but it’s easier said then done. “I just wish… I wish she was different. That her words don’t hurt, but they do and always have.”
“You don’t have to have her in your life, that’s a choice you get to make. Your boundaries are important Mariana. Regardless of her being your mum.” He reassures her.
She nods and leans into him. “You’re right, I- thank you. For listening and not… not letting me push you away.”
He gives a soft chuckle and presses his forehead against hers. “I don’t give up on people. Besides, I know what lashing out looks like, I’ve done it enough.” He whispers.
“You? You’re so calm, I can’t believe that.” She gives a soft huff of a laugh.
“Wasn’t as a kid, trust me. Teenage years are brutal.” He teases her.
She rolls her eyes but gives a laugh. She wraps her arms around his waist, “I would have loved to see that.” She snickers.
“Nah, was a bloody menace…” he whispers bringing her close to him, nuzzling his face into her neck, “we wouldn’t have gotten along. Woulda ran you off.”
“You couldn’t get rid of me that easily… I’m pretty persistent and I’ve been told I’m quite stubborn.” She says in a light tone.
He snorts, “You are stubborn. Can’t keep you outta danger sometimes.” He teases.
She starts laughing, “Touché.”
They spend a while in silence just holding onto each other. The silence is warm and not awkward.
The food lays forgotten for a while, until she can peel herself away from Hobie. She's too busy enjoying his warmth for the moment. They can always reheat their dinner anyway.
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strixcattus · 1 year ago
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Things I would say to bugs if I could talk to bugs:
Flies/moths/misc. winged things: Please come with me I can show you the way out of the confusing box maze. There is a door here and I can let you through it. Also stop flying into the lights they are not what you think they are Bees: Thank you for your hard work. Do you want water I can get you some water Wasps: YOU'D BETTER KEEP YOUR DISTANCE also thank you for your hard work do you want water I can get you some water Caterpillars: I love you I love you Ilove you I loveyou I love youI love you Ilove youIloveyouIlove Ants: BACK YOUR FREAKING CARAPACE UP, BUSTER, I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU GOT IN HERE NOR DO I WANT TO, BUT I KNOW YOU DO KNOW, SO SKEDADDLE Worms: I'm trying to help you; please crawl into my hands so I can carry you off the sidewalk and into the grass before you become worm paste or a sundried corpse, or at least stop trying to get away I am trying to save your life Mosquitoes: I am exercising a mercy you will not find from most humans. Please extend the same to me. Please. Please. Please Beetles/misc. crawling things: I promise you I'm not going to hurt you just please crawl onto this paper. Yes I am going to fling you out into the night that's not really negotiable. I promise this is better than if you stick around and someone else steps on you. Centipedes/millipedes: OUT. OF MY SIGHT. NOW. That one tiny bug that keeps trying to scale my laptop charger: Stop doing that. We'll both sleep better if I don't have to worry about crushing you into my keyboard by accident. Every bug at least once: Please get out of the sink I am begging you I just want to wash my hands without drowning you Also every bug, many times: Hey did you know that you're significantly more likely to be stepped on and killed if you're on the sidewalk compared to the grass? Just a fun fact for your consideration Spiders: You see this doorway? That leads to my room. Please do not move in past it I'd rather not be jumpscared. Anywhere else and we can be chill. Especially if you eat ants.
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pretentious-art-love · 6 months ago
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Book Reviews #30 - The Book of Merlyn by T.H. White
The Book of Merlyn is the weird, final, unfinished conclusion of the Arthur saga by White. He never published it on his life, and I say it is unfinished because it repeats the chapters of the Ant and the Geese from the Sword in the Stone. Like, really, these chapters are 95% identical, aside from references that go from "the Wart" to "the King," so it is a rather odd read. Spoilers ahead.
The edition I have says these were written for The Book of Merlyn but then added to The Sword in the Stone instead. Truly, they fit there a lot more, since transforming Arthur for his education when he is still a kid, learning, makes much more sense than one night before he is about to die. If you were to remove these episodes from this book you would be left only with a monologue from Merlyn and the animals. I do like that, though, it is a bit like a DLC. But there is an additional chapter in the Geese episode, about Arthur's wish to escape his duties as a king and live as a Goose, that is too precious to skip. You could probably keep this chapter and remove the rest to avoid the deja vu, but you would need to make some editing, add some parts, so what gives? You can just read it as it is, and experience some of that repetition of time Merlyn lives in, albeit not in the most fulfilling or creative way. The episode of the Geese also still remains White's absolute masterpiece. A short but vivid telling of freedom in a world without frontiers.
What about the rest of the book, though? Well, it is in all honesty a bunch of nonsense. A bunch of animals discussing about war and mankind from their table, without ever trying to live it themselves, Arthur, funnily enough, realizes this once, saying that the animals are discussing as if nothing what is painful reality for him. He also says once that everything Merlyn taught him were lies. The sentence "an elephant flying would be immoral since he has no wings" is said once. Is this a reference to Dumbo? Is White implying that this council or animals and Merlyn is dumb? Is he making fun of Dumbo? He spends way too much time adding monologuing to them to the point everything sounds like white noise, nonsense, it sounds like that kind of draft where you continue writing and writing what comes to your mind so you can organise the thoughts later. This was unpublished for a reason, it is not finished either on structure or in idea. However, this book has the best quote in the entire saga: "Why shouldn't God have come to the world as an earth worm?"
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Seriously, I say it without sarcasm, it is pure genius, White was cooking something, the mantle of Merlyn fits him more than Arthur or Lancelot, and Arthur works more as a passive learner, than a full fledged king.
This book also fixes the biggest problem I had with the last one, and that is Arthur going to be killed by his son with piece of mind. He instead decides to make a truce with him and give him half of England. Yes, thank you, if it's only for this bit, this book is completely worth it. Merlyn also says that even he fails, his failure will teach future people to do better, nothing more true could have been said of his story, or the book on its own.
Arthur is still killed on battle because of a confusion caused by a snake? It's a bit weird, because it feels that, while he had learned the true meaning of being, he couldn't avoid the death Merlyn and the animals had planned for him. I mean we aren't told that it was Merlyn and the animal council who caused it but hey, if animals in this world are sentient, and the misunderstanding was caused by a snake, you can't blame if my imagination runs wild, right? Remember how Merlyn's father is a demon? The whole idea that he and the animals he met were actually the villains this whole story came to me, and I found it hysterical. Imagine a king being transformed by magic animals so he can learn about war as they try to understand mankind is ripe for episodic potential. Into the idea pile it goes, I guess.
As for the entire saga, I guess I already said most of my shortcomings in what I said of the previous books, Arthur was naive and nice, that's all what I can say about him. Well, I like him a lot more now than when I finished the third book, since he tried his best with his son here, instead of running towards his death while trying to romanticise his failure. White was so close to understand it all in the end.
I hope this conclusion I have come to makes us both happy, and I hope that you can forgive me for my angry ramblings. Thank you for the recommendation again, Key. My friend.
6/10
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noodleswithsoba-blog · 1 year ago
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ThraggDad AU: The Beginning.
This is what I have so far for my Invincible AU fic, I want to know what everyone thinks! The first half is Jason's introduction and how he feels about his life with his dad, and the second half is Thragg preparing to fulfill his mission.
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Life with Dad is weird. Of course, there's the fact that both my Mom and my Dad are superheroes, but even weirder is the fact that Dad just kinda… is. He looks like one, swaggering muscular, taller than other Dads.
"Son?" he asks, "Do you want more?" he gestures to our breakfast. All managed and healthy, meticulously picked because Dad was kind of a health nut. Everything about my life, where I go to school and how I get there, how I eat and when, everything.
Dad looks at me with a worried glint in his eyes, "Jason?"
"Present, sir." I answer.
"Does not seem like it." he sets his hand on my shoulder, massive and heavy. His gaze is soft, trying to be the nurturer, the best friend, the one I can confide in with everything.
But this…?
"It's really nothing, Dad. Just… I uh…"
"Is it a girl?" he asks, "Jason, I want there to be-"
"No, no! It's not a girl!" I yelp, "I'm just wondering when I get my powers, what's my first one?"
"If. Not when, son." he darkens, his voice heavy with warning, "I do not want this life for you."
"Why?"
"Because it took your mother, and it might take you." he states matter-of-factly, "If you even have one power, or several, you must promise to never use them."
"But dad-"
"Promise me, son." he snarls a little, his jaw setting, his hands tremble just a little and I can feel his grip gently tightening.
"I… I promise." I wilt, closing my eyes, "But why are you so scared of if I do have powers?"
"It is not fear my son, it is worry." he softens again, pulling me into his arms, squeezing, "Worry that you will go mad with it. What I do is for our planet, for our continued survival."
"Right…" I look down at my feet, Dad's warmth still so familiar. I close my eyes and bask in it just a little. He's all I have left, and I'm all he has left too. We separate and he touches my cheek.
"You look like her, Jason." he says, "Do not be me."
I get out of Dad's car, he's sitting in the driver's seat watching me walk in. People whisper, looking at me and laughing at the fact that my dad still drops me off. Of course I don't pay them any mind.
Back home, everyone would give me the right of way and everything. But here? Here I'm nothing. Dad thought it'd be best if we just moved on, moved out, and got a new start.
I take out a photo of my Mom, looking at it and taping it onto the inside of my locker door. I touch it and I find myself choked up again. I try not to cry but it's still something that hurt.
"Hey, can you move?" a girl's voice asks, I blink and move back, seeing a girl with long red hair and bright green eyes, like grass standing next to me.
I slam my locker shut, a little harder than I meant it to be and move backward.
"Yes, here." I state, motioning to below me, "Your locker is below mine?"
"Yeah." the girl answers, getting her things and standing up. She brushes a length of her hair behind her ear and reaches out her hand.
"Eve Wilkins."
"Jason Blake." I state, taking it in my own and shaking once. I don't want to talk about how soft it felt, and how she's tilting her head in slight confusion. I turn away and start walking.
It's best not to get too attached to anyone. Otherwise it'd cause a weakness. In class I hear them all whispering and muttering to each other.
"He's weird."
"Who? The new guy?"
"Yeah, he came from New York."
"What's he doing here?"
The teacher, a kindly balding man with middle age pudge, speaks up.
"Now everyone, I know we have a new student."
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I loom over them all, ants.
Worms.
Less than able to space travel, still dealing with their paltry diseases. Cancer, blood diseases, sicknesses of the mind. My son is among them, amongst this cosmic backwater.
But when I close my eyes, I feel her. When I feel the wind upon my face I imagine its her golden hair. The sun is her kiss, the sky is her arms. Her love became the one thing that I have left.
Our son, named after a Greek Hero she enjoyed, and his Viltrumite name, Medeus, my own contribution. Just so if the Empire comes, they will know him as a Viltrumite. In my thousands of years in this universe, in this life, I had never known the love that she made known.
Now that I know my dear son has powers…
Will I be able to finish my mission? Persuade my son to my side? I land and see her gravestone, with her name. Gifts still piled around it from the Guardians that knew her, and the family that raised her.
In the final place she believed in, amongst the fields of Elysium, she said. That one day, she would return to me and to Jason. I slip the ring off my finger, laying it on the stone.
"Reyna… please forgive me. Your love wasn't enough."
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gaystan · 9 months ago
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most south parky lyrics from every song on my south park playlist
white winter hymnal by fleet foxes: “i was following the pack all swallowed in their coats with scarves of red wound round their throats to keep their little heads from falling in the snow and i turn round and there you go”
we’re going to be friends by the white stripes: “we walk to school all by ourselves / there’s dirt on our uniforms from chasing all the ants and worms” “we don’t notice any time pass, we don’t notice anything / we sit side by side in every class”
peng! 33 by stereolab: “curiosity was far greater than our fear / it felt so simple and so prodigious at the same time/ incredible things are happening in the world / magical things are happening in this world”
signal in the sky (let’s go) by the apples in stereo: “would you like to play a game of hide and seek now? / if you have x-ray eyes please promise not to peak now / first we count to ten and then we’ll have some fun now / or will you fly away before we count to one now?” “you know you got a lot to do / and everything depends on you / hey girls, hey girls, come out and play now! / or do you have to hurry off to save the day now?”
another brick in the wall, pt. 2 by pink floyd: “we don’t need no education, we don’t need no thought control / no dark sarcasm in the classroom / teacher leave them kids alone”
only a lad by oingo boingo: “(he’s only a lad) you really can’t blame him / (only a lad) society made him / (only a lad) he’s our responsibility / (only a lad) he really couldn’t help it / (only a lad) he didn't want to do it / (only a lad) he’s underprivileged and abused / perhaps a little bit confused”
cody’s theme by ajj: “when i was a kid my whole reality split / i was living a lie / i was a killing machine, i was a warlord / when i closed my eyes “when i was a kid i was a total dick to inanimate objects / the world beat the hell from me; i took it out on a tree”
best in the class by late of the pier: “you gotta speak your mind / you can always change up / you gotta know what’s real / you gotta hold yourself down / you should be direct / you gotta scream and shout”
back in school by mother mother: “i wanna get it but i got bad brains / i’m what they like to call a special case, i am a coma in a classroom / i got detention cause i made a face / nobody believed me that it’s stuck that way” “run, little boy / back in school, back in place / back in school, back in chains / back in school, back in my cage”
the kids aren’t alright by fall out boy: “and in the end i’d do it all again / i think you’re my best friend / don’t you know that the kids aren't al-, kids aren’t alright? / i’ll be yours, when it rains it pours / stay thirsty like before / don’t you know that the kids aren’t al-, kids aren't alright? / i’m not passive but aggressive / take note, it's not impressive”
leviathans get lonely by the weather machine: “remember when we lost that bet that in a year things would make sense? let’s go downtown and fight the government”
no children by the mountain goats: “i hope that our few remaining friends give up on trying to save us / i hope we come up with a fail safe plot to piss off the dumb few that forgave us / i hope the fences we mended fall down beneath their own weight / and i hope we hang on past the last exit / i hope it’s already too late / and i hope the junkyard a few blocks from here someday burns down / and i hope the rising black smoke carries me far away and i never come back to this town again”
born in the right country by river whyless: “i am your new king / can’t you see the teeth laid in this crown? / the past now is present / i am the inside and you’re out / i’ll tell you, baby, a secret, manufactured truth is easy to sell / when you own the factory and you own the hearts of the clientele” “but can i truly blame you? / we’re built on the dreams we feed to the poor / so that you can break through if you’ve got the right name, or you’ve got the right god, or you’re born in the right country”
the room is full of people that love you by foresight: “there’s a new park in the middle of town / we can run from the cops, and hide from the clowns / we can do drugs and diss each other’s pipe dreams, learn all about our anatomy / i once was a loyal dog / you gotta love everybody but never the hogs / i didn’t mean to make such a mess of things / i just wanted a coat and something to drink / now i drown, dead stuck in this town / always lost when i’m found / in and out of space, in and out of phase / feeling deep in the heart / it feels like tearing apart / think i’ll slowly fade away”
bite the hand by boygenius: “i can’t love you how you want me to / i can’t love you how you want me to / i can’t love you how you want me to”
ribs by lorde: “you’re the only friend i need / sharing beds like little kids / we laugh until our ribs get tough / but that will never be enough”
baby brothers by will connolly: “we’ve crossed these rivers countless times / left broken bones out on the ice / turnpike signs turned to subway lines / dolittle days, outlandos nights / but we were never done ‘cause this is an extension of more than one love / this was a long, long, long time coming / for when the bar is so high you can’t tell you’re beneath it / when you’ve got archer’s eyes but you can’t even see it / then just look, look out, look out for each other / we gotta look, look out, look out for each other / baby brother”
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blackjackkent · 1 year ago
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OK, Rakha's immediate next priority is the creche. Lae'zel has been saying from the very beginning that it's the actual correct solution to the worm situation, and Rakha trusts Lae'zel's knowledge of such things implicitly. She's allowed herself to be distracted by other more immediate possible solutions repeatedly - Nettie, Halsin, even Volo briefly - but the truth is that she's always known, deep down, that it would come back to what Lae'zel suggested right at the start.
(Of course, in the back of her mind lingers the knowledge that the Dream Guardian has stated quite certainly that there is no way to remove the worm without going to Moonrise. Halsin has said the same. Both of them are also knowledgeable, and both of them Rakha also trusts. But she is deliberately ignoring this - because her trust in Lae'zel came first.)
Frankly I think Shadowheart and Wyll (and the others in camp) are going along with this quite unwillingly, but trying to dissuade Rakha or Lae'zel from something is already a losing battle, and trying to dissuade both of them from something is impossible.
The intel they got from Zorru said that the githyanki he saw were to the west, which means heading back past Waukeen's Rest. And sure enough, almost as soon as they take a step past the village's wall, a dark, violent shadow passes over the path and a low roar splits the air above them.
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Rakha startles visibly at the passage of the enormous creature. She only has a limited recollection of the dragons attacking the nautiloid; between the beast in her head and her own confusion she actually has only scattered memories of the whole experience before the crash. But they are huge, monstrous things, certainly - nothing they have faced so far compares for sheer scope.
But oh, it would be satisfying to kill... whispers the Dark Urge within her. Such a behemoth... its death would split the world like a thunderbolt and it would taste bittersweet and rich... Wyll has fought one, he knows, he knows, the snapping of such a great brutal neck, how the sound would sing through the air--
She shakes her head sharply, trying to clear it, and peers down towards the bridge ahead where several voices are shouting in evident conflict. Several of the red-and-silver officers from Waukeen's Rest - Flaming Fist, Wyll called them - and several of Lae'zel's people, the githyanki.
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"Drop your weapons!" one of the Fist is shouting.
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"I'll feed your innards to the ants before I do that, istik!" snaps back the leader of the githyanki.
Rakha is fully expecting a battle to break out - and she can feel the beast in her head eager to watch the slaughter that will surely follow. In the end, though, the slaughter happens but not the battle, as the dragon from before comes soaring out of the sky as if on cue.
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The bridge shatters apart in a burst of flame that sends a shockwave of heat far enough to brush against Rakha's face, bringing with it the smell of scorched flesh and boiling blood. The beast hums in her head, drinking in the screams as the Fist officers fall into the crevasse, the soft thumping cracks of them hitting the rocks below.
The githyanki force stands at the edge of the now-broken bridge, watching with an air of satisfaction. The dragon itself circles above for a moment or so before coming in for a landing.
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Its rider is a tall, lithe githyanki man - older, judging by the grey in his hair and the air of authority. He leaps from the dragon's back with an agility that would be admirable in a much younger man and stares down the leader of the squad balefully.
"Stop wasting time, Baretha!" he snaps. His voice carries up to Rakha and the others, sharp and commanding. "You're not here to play with the locals."
"Of course, kith'rak," answers the younger officer. "We merely sought to--"
"No excuses," the man growls. "Question, kill, then move on. Find the weapon. Our queen watches us. Fail her at your peril."
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"A red dragon!" Lae'zel says eagerly at Rakha's side. Her expression has relaxed distinctly, her usual wary tension replaced with excitement. "I envy its knight. Would that I rode such a steed."
A memory comes to Rakha suddenly, unbidden - the night Lae'zel put a blade to her throat. The shared knowledge across the tadpole connection.
Not fear of death, but fear of insignificance. The great warrior Lae'zel, a failure to her kind. She will wield no silver sword, ride no red dragon, forever unknown to the great lich queen Vlaakith.
The man down there, then - he is a representation of what Lae'zel wishes to be. Of what she fears she will not attain. Little wonder she shows such excitement.
"A creche must be near," Lae'zel goes on, already moving towards the slope leading down towards the gith below. "Come. My kin await."
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casspurrjoybell-25 · 1 year ago
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The Healer of Shakkara - Book One
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*Warning Adult Content*
Chapter 15 - Friends - Part 1
The boar trails were narrow, so they walked in single file, with Galen and his friends in the middle, Sev and Rea in the lead and Obi, Iksy and Zenir behind.
The three friends spoke quietly as they walked and as Triss and Behn caught Galen up on their own adventures, he felt his spirits rise along with the sun.
"Doesn't your dad need your help with the brewery, this time of year?" he asked Behn, keeping his eyes on the dusty trail at his feet.
The boars chose their paths for efficiency, not for human comfort and the narrow track was steep as a ladder in places, choked with rocks and roots in others.
"Yep," Behn answered breathlessly.
His round face was red with exertion and sweat glistened on his brow.
They'd only been on the trail a little over an hour but the climb was brutal.
"But I've been replaced."
"Replaced?" Galen frowned, worried he might've caused some rift between Behn and his father.
Behn nodded and answered between puffs of breath.
"He wasn't... happy with me going after you but... you saved my life, so... he knew it was the only right thing. Meantime, he figured he'd kill two birds with one stone. Your dad needs a place to stay. My dad needs... an extra pair of hands. With me gone... my dad's got an extra room and Harrald has..." he trailed off, flushing an even brighter shade of red as he realized what he'd been about to say.
"Well, Harrald can help out," he finished.
Galen laughed, as much with pure relief and gratitude as with the memory of his father's sense of humor.
Whenever anyone asked if Harrald needed a hand with something, he'd hold up his stump and say... 'As a matter of fact, I do.'
No one made that mistake twice.
"Harrald will love that," he said.
"He hates the idea of taking charity, so I'm sure he'll do more than his fair share."
He turned his attention to Triss.
"What about your duty to the Guard? Won't you be charged with desertion?"
"If I ever go back, maybe but I doubt it," she shrugged.
"Things were more confused than an ant's nest on fire when I left. I'm not the only one who 'disappeared.' Besides, with the way the temple's been worming its way into our business... I doubt I had much future with the Guard, anyway."
"What do you mean?"
She glanced at him.
"You know the way the temple zealots think. 'Women are supposed to stay home and make babies, not ride horses into battle."
Galen grimaced.
"But you're the best in your class," he said.
"And it's not uncommon for women to be the best archers and the most skilled riders. They can't argue with that."
She rolled her eyes.
"That's the problem. People like Darek think women shouldn't be as good, much less better, than men, so they don't like it when they see evidence to the contrary."
Rea glanced over her shoulder, having overheard.
"It's the same everywhere," she said.
"Though I thought Thryn was different."
Triss sized the other woman up with a keen eye.
"Thryn is different, overall," she said.
"But things are changing and not for the better. After they drive off the foreigners and 'witches' who will they blame for the troubles to come? People who don't follow the temple's lead and stick to 'tradition' that's who."
"But having women in the Guard is tradition," Behn argued.
"Goddess Thrynis herself is a warrior."
Triss rolled her eyes.
"It's not really about tradition. It's about..."
"Power," Rea said, nodding.
"Instability breeds fear and fear is a tool in the hands of those who seek power. Thryn isn't the only province experiencing unrest... it's happening all over the Empire."
"More tremors?" asked Behn.
"Not tremors. No... but other things," Iksy's deep voice came from right behind Behn, making the boy start.
"Unseasonable rains in Edraxis, a drought in Yuthraka, massive sandstorms in Abarra, strange illnesses in Naqqir. So far, Sakkara remains unaffected but for how long?"
"What's causing it?" Behn asked.
They'd come to a halt beneath the shade of a few shrub-like trees with twisted trunks and prickly leaves and took a moment to sip water and catch their breaths.
It was hardly an hour past sunrise but already the air was warm.
"No one knows," Sev answered, his eyes shifting from silver to dark gray in the dappled shade.
"But the people of Thryn aren't alone in their talk of 'imbalances' and the Order at Jana Val agrees. Magic is woven through the fabric of our world and something is disrupting it. They hope the P'Yrha will hold the answers they seek."
"And they think this 'P'Yrha' person is Gale?" Behn asked, brows raised.
"They will test him... yes... but I'm already quite certain that he is. From what I've heard, he healed you through sheer force of will... by channeling raw magic through himself. Only a P'Yrha could do that."
Behn looked at Galen and whistled.
"Guess you're gonna save the world, Gale. No pressure, huh?"
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murdershaped · 2 years ago
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@cosmikal | asked: there are no words in their head that tell them to act / memories may be gone but there is an affection that has taken route alongside the blood and horror the thing whispers for her to invoke. it is a sharp movement , sudden. not an attack , jhule's weapon remains strapped to their back , and arms opened wide / no chance to reach for a dagger. but those arms wrap around orin's shoulders and pull it into an embrace. tight / afraid of letting go or unable to realize what they have done. any words get stuck in their throat , what could they say any way? were they sorry? maybe this version of jhule with scrambled brains and a lack of self - even then , are they capable of forgiveness? no matter , this was their sister. a loved one. the embrace feels right.
Orin awaited the sweet sting of their blade, a shiver of anticipation rippled over the surface of its skin. TO FINALLY REUNITE and to die by their hand Orin could think of an end MORE FITTING to their blood soaked saga. So much would be unfulfilled, it would not be the changeling leading the charge against Baldur's Grave. The dawn of blood would come, the sunrise of that day soaking the soil in BLOOD RED. It simply would not be them leading it. The realization that all she had done, all she had fought for was to be savagely snatched from its hands. Their sibling was to dig their nails into her fingers and pry her palm open, knowing that Orin held tight the role which it had torn from within Jhule. That sticky viscus which their sibling had cut and chiseled its way to would be STOLEN AWAY.
Her failure would be one Jhule would recount countless times and all Orin would leave behind was its carrion with worms and flies alone to keep it company. Bhaal would be proven right, and Orin's soul would do LITTLE to satiate his ravenous appetite for slaughter. Forgotten, flayed, and decayed. That was all Orin was to be.
Though the cut never came, the EXPECTED PAIN was absent. All that enveloped Orin's fleshbag was the maggot infested husk of her sibling embracing it. Its brow furrowed with confusion though every other muscle froze. This wasn't Jhule, but it WAS. The memories may have been a SACRIFICE TAKEN by the curve of Orin's blade, but the body remained the same. Her sibling who carved and brutalized with them since it was able to hold a knife, their sibling who grew to HAVE A DISTASTE for the art which Orin made of each canvas their blade happened upon. A waste, they said. How can all they have done, some of it with Jhule, be a waste ???
Her jaw clenched and it felt a hot, wet streak run down its cheek as its breathing became unpleasantly heavy. They knew what an embrace was, MANY A TIMES when their victims were alone with loved ones Orin had witnessed it. She could never UNDERSTAND THE PURPOSE, though. To be so close and to have the back completely exposed to the other's hands. All Orin could imagine was taking a blade and PIERCING THE FLESH, a river of crimson leaking as her weapon began to dig dig dig haphazardly to reach the heart. How lovely it would look to see the organ in the light, even moreso lovely to see the SHOCK on the face of the one that heart once belonged to.
But she couldn't do it. Could not guide its own hand to plunge into the flesh of her sibling. All Orin could do was begin to LAUGH HYSTERICALLY, her hands moving betwixt their two bodies and violently shoved Jhule away from her. " How MANGLED YOUR MIND MATTER IS, bloodkin !!! " it shrieked between PEALS of laughter. " How you have DEGRADED YOURSELF, you are amongst the piggies rolling in the mud. You are not fit to slaughter a mere ANT. OH, Father would be oh so disappointed in you. "
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maymemoria · 2 years ago
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Underlined by Ana May, a collection of memorable quotes & segments
Book Title: Demian: The Story of Emil Sinclair's Youth
Author: Hermann Hesse
Quotes:
“From two opposite poles came the day and the night.”
“For him, betrayal was not a crime.”
“My sin was not this or that in particular, my sin was that I had reached out my hand to the devil.”
“In the end all men are brothers.”
“All I wanted to do was try to live the life that was inside me, trying to get out. Why was that so hard?”
“I cared only about myself, always myself. But I desperately yearned to someday, at long last, live a little too: to put something of myself out into the world; to struggle against, and connect with, that world.”
“There's no reason to be afraid of anyone. If someone is afraid of another person, it's because he has given this person some kind of power over him.”
“If you believe that Cain was in the right and Abel in the wrong, then it follows that God was in error, or in other words that the God of the Bible is not the one true God but a false god.”
“I too experienced my slowly awakening sexual feelings as an enemy and a destroyer, as something forbidden, as temptation and sin.”
“The idea of the two worlds, or half-worlds, one of light and one of darkness.”
“Anyone too comfortable to think for himself and be his own judge simply obeys the laws as they are.”
“There is no point in clever talk, none at all. It only leads you away from yourself. Going away from yourself is a sin. What a person needs to do is crawl entirely into himself, like a turtle.”
“I was well aware that it was impossible to love me as I was, and I did not love myself either.”
“The bird fights its way out of the egg. The egg is the world. Whoever wants to be born must destroy a world. The bird flies to god.”
“When we hate someone, what we hate is something in him, or in our image of him, that is part of ourselves. Nothing that isn’t in us ever bothers us.”
“We make gods and then wrestle with them.”
“It is a bitter and terrible moment when we suddenly recognize that the currents inside us are carrying us away from the one we loved.”
“No one dreams of anything that has nothing to do with them.”
“The world wants to be reborn. The smell of death is in the air. Nothing new comes without death.”
“The next time you call me, I won’t come so obviously on horseback or by train. You will have to listen inside yourself, and then you’ll realize I’m in you.”
Segments:
“Many people experience the death and rebirth that is the destiny of us all only this once, as childhood rots from within and slowly disintegrates, as everything we have grown to love abandons us, and we suddenly feel the solitude and deathly cold of the universe around us. And very many people remain stuck at this hurdle their whole life long, desperately hanging on to the irretrievable past and clinging to the dream of a paradise lost—the worst and most deadly of all dreams.”
“I had often liked observing bizarre natural forms —not to study and analyze them, but to abandon myself to their unique magic, their confused, deep language. (.....) giving ourselves over to irrational, confused, bizarre natural forms, creates in us a feeling of harmony between our inner selves and the force that willed these patterns into being—before long we even feel tempted to see these patterns as our own moods, our own creations—we see the border between ourselves and nature quiver and melt away and learn what it feels like not to know whether the images on our retina come from external or internal impressions.”
“You wouldn’t call every biped you see on the street human, would you, just because they walk upright and carry their babies in the womb for nine months? You can see how many of them are fish or sheep, worms or angels, how many are ants, how many are bees! Now every one of them contains the possibility of becoming human, but only when he intuits this possibility, or even learns to bring it at least partly into his consciousness, is it truly his.”
“When I compared myself to other people my age, as I would do every now and then, I sometimes felt proud and conceited but just as often demoralized and depressed. There were many times I saw myself as a genius, many times as half insane. I was never able to share and join in the others’ pleasures, and I was eaten up with worries and self-hatred about how hopelessly isolated I was from them, how cut off from life.”
“God knows where these things we say come from! I wasn’t trying to be nasty, and had no idea of the disaster my comment would cause. I had said something I didn’t understand at all when I said it; I had indulged in the impulse of a moment, a little bit clever and a little bit mean, and it had turned out to be fate. My careless minor act of cruelty was for him a judgment.”
“Whether the workers kill their capitalists or Russia and Germany blow each other to bits, the only thing that’ll change is who owns whom. But still it won’t have been in vain. These conflicts will clarify how worthless the current ideals have become; they will wipe out all our old stone age gods. The world as it is wants to die, it cries out to be destroyed— and it will be.”
“I had decided that losing the glittering colors of the world inevitably went along with the loss of childhood, and that to a certain extent you had to pay for the freedom and manhood of the soul by renouncing that beloved shimmer. Now, enchanted, I saw that it had all merely been overshadowed and covered up, and that it was possible, even as a free man who had renounced childhood happiness, to see the world aglow and feel the heartfelt quiver of childlike vision.”
“Earlier I had given much thought to why people were so rarely capable of living for an ideal; now I saw that many, indeed all people were capable of dying for one. Only it could not be a personal ideal, freely chosen; it had to be a common one, taken from someone else.”
———————
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kereruatbugaria · 2 years ago
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Here's sketches of my AU what I'm thinking of...Hoaxe joins Team Snakemouth!
I am having a lot of fun thinking about this...
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It begins with Hoaxe's late departure from Wasp Kingdom and his encounter with Kabbu and Neolith in the desert.
Hoaxe got information about the crown in Wasp Kingdom, deciphered the ancient Roach language (he delivered Bugnish so fast, he must have had the ability to learn at least one more word) and found it in the desert.
Once in the desert, Hoaxe happens to find Neolith, who happens to be an archaeologist, and tries to get information from him about the site where the crown lies.
Hoaxe wanted to threaten Neolith to get information from him.
However, Neolith and Kabbu have stepped into the arrow worm's nest and as a result, he ends up helping them.
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The place where they escaped from the arrow worms happens to be the ruins Hoaxe was looking for.
They offer to accompany Hoaxe as he tries to enter the ruins. Hoaxe tried to refuse, but the two men said they did not want the treasure, so he allowed them to follow him...
Kabbu and Neolith decided to accompany him, half out of gratitude for their help and half out of concern. Hoaxe had a knowledge of the ancient Roach language and the observational skills to spot traps and tricks at all costs, but he knew nothing else! He did not know that this area was the land of the Bee Kingdom, or even that explorers existed...
Kabbu's power and Neolith's knowledge (Hoaxe could read Roach's language, but knew as little about the lore of the area) was a great help in progressing through the ruins.
At the deepest part of the ruins, belostoss appears before the three.
Hoaxe's fire did not work on the hard, water-soaked epidermis, Kabbu and Hoaxe were able to defeat them by working together.
However, in the room where the ancient crown was supposed to be, the floor had collapsed and led to an underground water vein, and the crown Hoaxe was looking for had been washed away by water...
This is the prologue of this AU, Hoaxe and Kabbu's first adventure.
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After this, Kabbu and Neolith return to Defiant Root with Hoaxe, who has fainted from the long journey to the desert, the continuous fighting and the despair of not finding the crown.
Doctor Isau tells them that Hoaxe is scarred and malnourished and must have lived in a very bad environment....Kabbu takes a lot of care of Hoaxe when he regains consciousness. This is a new experience for Hoaxe and he is very confused.
Neolith had his suspicions that Hoaxe might be dangerous, but at the same time he had high regard for his talent as an explorer. Above all, he wanted to help this young bug who would have lived in these terrible circumstances.
The underground water vein from which the crown was washed away connects to the river in the Ant Kingdom. The ruins seem to have been destroyed a long time ago and may have been washed up somewhere in the river by now.
Becoming an explorer in the Ant Kingdom will help you find what you are looking for.
Neolith wrote a letter recommending Kabbu and Hoaxe as explorers and handed it to them.
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