#The algo hates me lol but i hate it so it's the time for

[kngstrnz]

I'm a bit shy about my selfshipping lore, so I never talk about it, but I do love music so hopefully you don't mind haha! Also, I'm hispanic, so there will be a spanish song here.

I have a more grounded lore with Jotaro Kujo and Satoru Gojo, so I'll talk about them.

Jotaro Kujo

Somos Algo ("We Are Something") by Daniel, Me Estas Matando.

Okay, so, to summarize the whole thing. My S/I and Jotaro met during the events of Stardust Crusaders. Joseph knew my S/I because her uncle was becoming a well-known Stand investigator before his passing and it was like fate that he bumped into my S/I (who was on her way to Mexico for summer vacations since she was studying high school abroad), so he asked her for help. The relationship between my S/I and Jotaro was basically an Annoyance to Friends until they both fell in love.

The thing is, they didn't end up together by the end of the events of Stardust Crusaders and they each go their seperate ways until they meet again for Diamond Is Unbreakable. Where the spark that started that summer lit up again (in my universe, Jotaro was going through a divorce by now. Thus, Jolyne does exist.) and there is a lot of unresolved tension between them that is very apparent by everyone around them.

Thus the lyrics:

"Por algo coincidimos en este lugar"

Translation: It's because of something that we met up again in this place. (That something being fate).

"Y el mundo se detiene a vernos girar."

Translation: And the world stops to see us spin. (Referring to practically everyone in Morioh noticing the tension between them that Koichi first mistook them for a couple when he saw them interact for the first time. Also pun intended on The World part lol)

"Mañana yo no se (lo que vaya a pasar)"

Translation: Tomorrow I don't know (what will happen). [Implying that maybe tomorrow will be the day Jotaro takes the first step between them... or maybe not, who knows?]

"Vayamos donde el viento (nos quiera llevar)"

Translation: We'll go wherever the wind (takes us).

"Pero es que al corazón, no lo puedes callar."

Translation: But you can't silence the heart. (The heart wants what it wants basically).

"Los dos sentimos algo."

Translation: We both feel something. (It's clear in their eyes, in the brushing fingers, in the heated silence that they both still feel something for each other even after some years have passed).

Satoru Gojo

A Soulmate Who Wasn't Meant To Be by Jess Janko.

Funnily enough, despite being sung by a female singer, this song is from Satoru's POV. Basically, my S/I and Satoru Gojo were put in an arranged marriage that neither of them were happy for.

With the promise to break off the engagement at 18, my S/I and Satoru just had fun. Lived their lives and since they didn't hate each other, they got closer as friends. Until Satoru fell in love. My S/I is also someone who sees Satoru as just Satoru, so it was bound to happen that Satoru would start to grow affection for my S/I.

But the promise. Oh, the promise.

This F/O 'canonically' doesn't end up with Satoru (but there is like a Gojo Route AU), so this part of the lyrics:

"I never should have called. 'Cause I knew you would leave me."

Refers to the tragedy that my S/I, by the end of it, still wants to break off the engagement when they are 18 and Satoru knew it was going to end.

Too much happens, but my S/I ends up with Choso (canonically bc he is my husbando #1) and these lyrics:

"Stranger, that's all I see when I look into your eyes."

Refers to Satoru feeling a bitter disconnection between the S/I he knew and the S/I whom he is seeing fall in love with someone else.

"A soulmate who wasn't meant to be."

Right person, wrong time from Satoru's POV.

"Stranger, who knows all my secrets can pull me apart and break my heart."

And it's sad because Satoru felt comfortable around my S/I, feeling for once like he can be himself without having to uphold someone's expectation and still, when it was time to say goodbye. Even if he didn't want to, he let go because he loved them so much, he didn't want to be the one to cause them misery by forcing them to stay together.

Though, there is a bad ending I call 'Marriage Blues' where he doesn't break up the engagement.

As to why my lore with him is so sad... it just kinda happened 😭. But, there is a good ending where he is happy with my S/I, it just doesn't have a specific song yet hahan't.

You there. Selfshipper. Tell me what song(s) you associate with your F/O(s), and if you want to, say why! This is an open call to nerd and gush to your heart's content! Bonus if you do full lyric analysis bc that's my jam :)

[biggiecheezits]

Yk what sucks

some 400yo man who unironically wore a wig is leagues better than me at music

Like genuinely you can look at some of his simplest stuff and it blows mine out of the water all while looking like:

Like it's not even "oh he's better" NAW. He's on another fucking plane of existence with his music. Even if my imagination was directly translated to it's musical intentions on paper, Bach would prolly take a look and go "oh yeah I'll write a variation of it" and then we have a whole nother Johnny Cash "hurt" situation.

Because I genuinely cannot compare.

Have you ever seen those like 11yo art accounts where they suck but they're not self-aware enough for them to realize it and have no shame in doing so, and yet you can't call the art completly trash because after all it was done by a kid so you gotta grab a magnet and pin it to your fridge for a few weeks? Yea I'm that kid. I'm at the level where the adult goes "aww wow soo sweet" because they know it's the best my stupid child brain can do

And you know what, fine. I'm not a professional musician and will never be one. But music IS something I love, and it's hard to love when you're clutching at the paper mache statue instead of the one made of roman marble.

MAYBE, just maybe, I want something that I can be proud of myself about, that I can look and be happy, but I'm not sure if I'm too incompetitent or too hard on myself to be blind to this shit.

Speaking of shit, that's all the BS coming out of my mouth while I hardly stay awake. idek where I was going with this. No hard feelings Bachy boy. Go listen to https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HB8-w5CvMls it goes hard af

[ladysomething]

Well, in the last chapter Max's feelings were somewhat exposed (although still hidden), but they clearly showed that he has real feelings for Charles and that maybe he has had them for quite some time, otherwise, I don't understand all of these paragraphs!

Worst of all, Max does know why he keeps putting up with it. Why he'll continue putting up with it. 

He's too weak to stop it. 

He wants whatever Charles will give him, even if he's hate sex every so often, and torrid silences in between. 

Aun así esto no me genera ni confianza ni seguridad, sino más dudas!!! Porque si es cierto que siente algo por Charles, entonces ¿por qué actúa como lo hace? La verdad es más oscura que simplemente decidir ser amable y cortejarlo adecuadamente, ¿sabes como una persona decente? ¿Por qué utilizar métodos tan cuestionables?

I know you can't even answer this, it's just me ranting 😫😫. Seriously Maddie, your fanfic has me like this 🫨🫨🫨. I'm dying to get answers 😖.

P.S. I hope your hand is okay and that you recover soon! I hope it's not causing you pain 💞

what I will say is this: Max is going to give an answer about what he's done what he has. just because he thinks it's true, doesn't mean its the WHOLE truth. he's a very complicated individual, and is carrying more trauma than he realises.

and thank you for the well wishes! I'm sure it will be fine in a couple days. until then, typing is a struggle lol

[haejeans]

haejeans is live !

jeans talks ep 128: a take on love

"Uh, eu não estou bagunçado, você é terrível. Eu estou… em meu estado natural, ok? Vamos mudar de assunto; o tema de hoje é amor, como vocês devem ter visto em algum lugar da tela… Então me digam como estão e o que acham sobre...". 

O pacote de pepero aberto e a mesma camisa que havia usado para dormir no dia anterior deveriam ser indicação suficiente de que iniciar uma live não estava em seus planos, mas era pouco mais que o meio-dia e como ele não havia conseguido dormir depois do curso, decidiu que era uma hora tão boa quanto qualquer outra para bater um papo com seus amigos.

Como alguém que havia crescido no interior com pouquíssimo acesso à tecnologia atual, Haejin teve que passar por um longo período de adaptação para entender e aprender a usar a internet. Ele possuía um medo – não tão irracional – de que hackers descobririam seu endereço e ele teria seus dados roubados. Além da certeza de que a exposição online traria milhões de haters e por isso, seria odiado para sempre por todas as pessoas do mundo. Ele precisou ser convencido por seus amigos em Gangwon-do a abrir uma rede social e iniciar sua vida online. Os vídeos foram uma questão à parte e apenas com tempo e o apoio deles que percebeu que grande parte de suas preocupações eram infundadas. 

Primeiro porque mesmo após todo esse tempo, Haejin sequer tinha uma centena de seguidores no Instagram, e menos ainda na plataforma de vídeos; duvidava que seus números chamariam a atenção de vigaristas digitais. E segundo, por ter a sorte de encontrar gente boa de verdade na internet. 

...

@jeansgotnojams are you mad? are you going to cry???????

@bunnyboy @jeansgotnojams lol stooooop he did cry last time you complained about his t-shirt 

@proudnina hey jeans! love to see you! did you finish that paper? i'm: struggling with finals 

@paperhearted i adopted a cat! mom hates her but she's the best, I totally love her!

@jeansgotnojams i love you, jeans but your wardrobe is hopeless 

@bobothebob love sucks, man. my boyfriend broke up with me i’m never doing this shit again 

@proudnina @bobothebob oh no, babes! everything is going to be fine! we're here for you! 

@bunnyboy yeah. we got you. wanna get wasted? 

@jeansgotnojams shut up, bunny

@jeansgotnojams @bobothebob what did he do? want me to have a conversation with him? *knife emoji*

@yeasul i live to love the goddess kim chungha 

@bobothebob thanks guys, it's fine. just hurts like crazy

@killbilllson there's a girl in my class, we never spoke, but I am head over heels for her.

@killbilllson she smiled at me once, and I think that was when it started. we're going to get married.

@kwangiant you're all losers. the only person I love is me that's why I'm never disappointed

...

Haejin enfiou outro palitinho de pepero na boca e sorriu. Adorava que havia conseguido criar um cantinho onde todos se sentiam confortáveis para dizer qualquer coisa sem medo de repressão ou preconceito. Era realmente como se os conhecessem há anos, e qualquer dia desses, iria sugerir que todos se encontrassem. Inclusive por ter certeza de que Jamie e Bung-so estavam apaixonados. “Eu vou considerar que todos estão bem, então...” Ele sorria ao ler um comentário e outro em voz alta – uma mania adquirida nas lives mesmo – e só parou quando viu a conversa sobre o término de Brian e seu namorado. Todos ali haviam acompanhado a história desde o começo; eles eram bons amigos desde a infância, mas as coisas começaram a ficar estranhas quando Brian percebeu estar apaixonado. Além do peso dos costumes tradicionais do país, havia ainda o medo de perder alguém tão importante se os sentimentos não fossem correspondidos. Haejin lembrou imediatamente do quão difícil foi para Brian aceitar os próprios sentimentos, e pior; confessá-los ao melhor amigo. Quando ficaram finalmente juntos, Haejin fez uma live de comemoração e todos os costumeiros participantes desejaram as maiores alegrias para ambos.

Ver que algo havia dado errado no meio do caminho partia seu coração. “Você está bem? O que aconteceu? Da última vez que nos falamos, as coisas estavam ótimas, não é?”, ele observou outra enxurrada de comentários e os leu com olhos apertados, estava sinceramente apreensivo e não conseguia esconder. Ele viu mais mensagens de apoio, outras com perguntas parecidas às suas e então, depois do que pareceu uma eternidade, Brian respondeu. Haejin começou a ler seus comentários imediatamente. “Things were good. Perfect, really.” Haejin suspirou, certo de que as coisas certamente não estavam perfeitas ou então eles não teriam terminado, mas manteve aquela observação para si mesmo. “But I guess I was the only one feeling like that... He came up one day, all nervous and weird, and said... Well, he said that he loved me, but not really like that, and wanted to get back to what we were before. Like, like being best friends and all that”, seus próprios olhos já estavam marejados, e pela quantidade de emojis tristes que estavam aparecendo, ele não era o único a se sentir daquela forma. “He said that it was not because we're guys, just... he tried, but doesn't see me like that. And, that’s that. I said it was okay, and we're friends, but I’m never going to do this love thing again”. Haejin procurou qualquer outro comentário de Brian, qualquer indicação de que havia mais para falar, mas quando as suas próximas mensagens foram respostas a outras menções, Haejin deu sua confissão por encerrada.

Quando selecionou o assunto para aquela live, Haejin imaginou que teria atualizações sobre a vida amorosa de todos, mas desejava, principalmente, falar sobre algo que gostava. Embora parecesse brega – e ele era, indiscutivelmente, brega; não havia nada que ele admirasse mais. E gostava do amor romântico, aquele de dar um friozinho na barriga e de arrepiar o corpo; mas havia tanto além dele,tantas pessoas e tanto no mundo para amar, tantos jeitos diferentes de enxergar o amor... Que imaginou ser o tópico perfeito para discutir no meio da semana, numa sexta-feira sem graça. O que faz seu coração bater mais rápido? Você abraçou alguém hoje? Lembra de algo que já não existe mais e que te deixou saudades? Viu seu reflexo e se apaixonou por ele? E ele sabia que iriam encher a caixa de comentários com piadinhas sobre seu coração mole, mas responderiam... alguma coisa. Ele ficaria satisfeito mesmo se terminasse a transmissão de bochechas vermelhas e nenhuma resposta correta.

Não contava com aquela situação, e sentia-se terrível por Brian... Principalmente por saber que nada que pudesse pensar, nem as palavras mais bonitas, nem o melhor dos conselhos, remendaria os pedacinhos de seu coração. Ainda assim... Haejin sabia que precisava oferecer seu apoio e, mesmo contra o senso comum, implorar que ele não perdesse as esperanças. 

Ele passou os dedos entre os fios de cabelo, e inclinou-se no sofá para ficar o mais próximo possível da câmera. Precisava ser ouvido e não se importava se vissem seus olhos cheios de lágrimas. "Eu sinto muito, de verdade. E espero..." deixou um sorriso tremulo escapar por seus lábios e sentiu a primeira lágrima escorrer em sua bochecha. "que você chore, quando estiver muito, muito triste. E que tome todo o espaço que precisar, tudo bem?". Ele tomou um segundo para olhar os comentários e sorriu outra vez ao notar que enquanto uns concordavam, outros estavam rindo de seu momento Oprah Winfrey. "Mas, desejo- não... Torço, para você não fechar seu coração completamente no futuro, ok? O amor, ele quebra nosso coração aberto, e... machuca. Mas, machuca porque é real. E lutar contra não vai diminuir a dor ou fazer com que você não sofra no futuro só... te privar de todas as outras coisas que o amor faz conosco, que são tão boas, e que fazem a vida toda valer a pena". 

...

@ proudnina he's cringe. but i love him

@bunnyboy this made me weirdly emotional 

@kwangiant i'm out. see you, people

@jeansgotnojams shut up, bunny

...

Haejin usou a manga do pijama para enxugar o rosto e leu os comentários com o peito apertado, procurando o user de Brian entre eles. Eles continuaram a conversar e a sorrir, o assunto transformou-se em algo completamente diferente e os minutos correram despreocupados com o crescente desconforto de Haejin; decerto que havia ultrapassado seus limites e odiava que havia feito alguém com quem se importava desconfortável. 

Quando não podia mais ignorar seu sono e as obrigações da realidade, Haejin despediu-se e como sempre, perguntou quando estariam todos disponíveis para outros minutos jogados fora conversando. A maioria respondeu, e como a maioria ditava as regras dos encontros, Haejin concordou em estender a próxima live para depois do período de provas da maioria. Mandou um beijo - que nunca deixava de fazer todos rirem - e se esticou para encerrar a transmissão. O pequeno thanks, i'll promise to try que conseguiu ler antes que a tela fechasse completamente foi o bastante para aliviar o peso de seu coração. 

[le-amewzing]

Sorry, but... you know your old Fukurodani art? I can't see them, I don't know why, um. Do you know why? Sorry.

Hi, anon! ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ mew here—tysm for asking! 💝

Many yrs ago, when the 2018 NSFW Purge occurred, I was one of many artists who decided to remove their art from this site. I managed to remove/archive the few NSFW pieces I had posted, but some of my SFW posts got hit by the poorly coded algo tumblr had deployed at the time. It was a mess and rly dinged my confidence back then in how this place was being run, and I had quite a bit of art posted in my few yrs here (I joined in 2015). 👀

I did not delete any posts, but I did remove all images and replace them with the tumblr t, so that I could keep track of things (like notes). And everything lives on my main pillowfort actually! (*'▽'*) I've had that account since a little before that purge and started using it in earnest bc of that, *lol*, but pfio's grown to be my home. In fact, it's to the point that I even have a second acct, a side fort ;3, for my fanfic and writing things in general. pfio is wonderful!

Anyway, any Fukurodani art posts (like all my art posts) have links to their pfio posts. So you prolly aren't seeing it in the OG post on tumblr...but you should absolutely be able to view it over on pfio! (In fact, here are some of them.) If you are having any trouble accessing pfio and/or are curious to learn more about it (maybe you or my other fans of my art/fic would love some invite keys? I have plenty!), pls just ask me! Esp if it's a site bug you're encountering, I'll let pfio staff know; it's a smol dev team, but they're rly awesome about communicating with the pfio userbase. ✌︎('ω')✌︎

Tl;dr: My art (both old and new) is only on pillowfort. Additionally, I stopped crossposting/linking to my art on tumblr last yr bc I rly hate how link embeds work nowadays, *lol*. But I have so much art on pfio—pls come join me and many other fun and talented peeps in the fort! ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

[ishikawayukis]

fr anxiety has been a little shit but I think I’m managing lately, could definitely be worse lol but I’m glad you’re doing better!! :’)

es que a veces la gente realmente me sorprende con lo ciega que decide estar JAJAJAJAJAJA literal en wano mostraron tantos momentos que te demuestran cuánto realmente se aprecian y respetan pero la gente solo se fija en “okay pero quién es más fuerte porque entonces el otro no sirve” kskfbekfj??!!? I’m so done with these people I might throw hands one day lol

JAJAJAJAJAJA por un momento me sentí mal pero luego recordé “la verdad es que me tomó casi un año creo que si logré controlarme” JAJAJAJA ALSO THE FREAKING DRUMS DAMMITTTT🗣️‼️‼️‼️ yo sabía que en wano tenía que aparecer gear 5 y pues por los fanarts me imaginé que Joyboy era el nombre como Snakeman or whatever PERO CUANDO LLEGA ZUNESHA Y DICE “I can hear them, it’s been so long” o algo así yo dije juepuya hoy si JAJAJAJAJAJA that was truly amazing I loved it, the animation was *chef’s kiss* literal volví a ver ese momento como unas tres veces porque amo la animación de g5🫶🏽 pero si Luffy el mc ideal, nadie más tonto e inteligente que él JAJAJA

istg it is a challenge to ignore them and remind yourself that they’re literally not understanding the plot or the characters at all, pero la recompensa es de vez en cuando ver teorías locas y reírte porque no, no va a pasar pero que matado de risa que esta fue su conclusión amigos JAJAJAJAJ Franky is the best I sweaaaar necesito más momentos de Franky, Soul King, Jinbe, idk I have a soft spot and respect for all the over 30 strawhats they are everything🫶🏽

si cuando volví a ver ese primer episodio de thriller bark y Luffy de una invitando a Brook sin saber nada de él me mató de risa otra vez JAJAJAJAJAJA like I remember I did find everything funny and nonsensical as always, pero volverlo a ver me dio más risa porque es recordar que Luffy solo viene por las vibes y la verdad es lo que deberíamos de hacer, vivir la vida y disfrutarla sin tener que tomarla en serio 24/7

YES YES YES LITERALLY THE MAGIC GIRL TREATMENT🫶🏽✨ amé ese momento tanto y efectivamente le sigue cuando Hawkins y Drake lo ven e inmediatamente “bro is that THE stealth black??? IM FIGHTING STEALTH BLACK??✨” JAJAJAJAJAJAAJ los verdaderos fanboys, Oda por favor dame más momentos así JAJAJAJA Y SI AAAAAAAA cuando Sanji empezó a tener su breakdown yo literal queriendo que cualquiera apareciera y le diera una cachetada y luego un abrazo porque no, ya establecimos que te queremos por ser tú ya BASTA JAJAJAJA más con la promesa que hizo con Zoro ay no, yo asumí que concluyeron que ya no bc I want to be delusional and happy that nothing bad is going to happen JABJAJAJ más que le dice “I came back from hell to kill you” OKAY??? JUST FOR HIM THO?????? cómo ser Sanji para que Zoro regrese de la muerte por mí la verdad 😔✌🏽 JAJAJAJAJAJ

if you end up throwing hands please let me know so that i can join you LMAO

casi un año es lo normal diría yo AJJAJA i just went a little insane and had a lot of free time and didn't want to Think LMAO the gear5 animation is honestly the best fucking thing and soooooo so luffy too, and can you believe once again that the dudebros hate it because it's "too goofy and not serious enough" like my guys pLEASE none of you are allowed to watch this show anymore

i just knoooooooow franky, brook, jinbe and robin all have a little 30+ group that no one else is allowed to join where they rest from their captain's nonsense and zosan constant fighting for a little while LMAO

literally oda give us more silly moments and my life is yours LMAO noooooo esq esa promesa y zoro literal diciendo volví sólo por ti? i know what you are 👁👁 but also soooo many people do think is gonna end up happening and i'm like hey man why do you love pain, why are you like this who hurt you man

[benefits1986]

wenimetchoointowkyew

Zakkalammmzz szn is on.

Nagpapatuloy ang bonding namin ng tatay kong inaayos natin ang algo sa favorite niyang Netflix para maka-chill naman ako sa ngalan ng noice white noise. LELS. And so, napunta kami sa wenimetyouintowkyew because dapat pinanood namin 'to nung December kaso kakatamad lumabas ng lumabas saka, basta, ayun na nga. We're here and now, kaya naman. Dahil 'di trending at 'di pinipilahan sa sinehan, eto na tayo sa kinda deep boogsh.

'Yung nakakainis at nakaka-amaze dito is napaka cropped ng frames like whyyyy naman ganun? Whyyyy? Pero sige, oks lang din naman. Baka napunta ang funds sa mga artista at budget ng mga location. Pero, naman. Naging mala-Lamesa Ecopark 'yung mga ilog-ilog scenes kung saan medyo nagkaroon ng important pivots ang plot. Nung kumalma na ako, puwede naman kasing attempt nila 'to para ma-strip down ang glorified image ng Japan which is true din naman.

Bilang once pa lang naman ako nakapunta tapos sa Osaka pa as a Tamagotchi baby, sige na. Mejj gets ko na baka nga naman ayaw nilang maging polished masyado ang scenes. LOL. LUL. Pati color grading ng cherry blossoms, mas maganda pa ang kuha ng phone videos e. HAHAHAHAHA. Or baka nga, may vibe silang nica-capture which is kahit saang gandang location pa 'yan, all stories are love and hate stories, after all. LOL. LUL.

Medyo 'yung subtext niya is giving suck the zakka vibe. 'Di downright pero basta IYKYK na lang kasi nakakatamad. Haba na naman ng sasabihin ko 'pag nagpunta tayo sa topic na 'yan. Baka next time.

'Yung wardrobe nila, 80% oks pero 'yung white and black kimono sa isang scene... mehhhhh. UGH. Sana mas inayos pa kasi naman... basta. Though again, I kinda get what they are trying to do naman din. FINNNEEE. Pati 'yung snow, hindi magical. Mundane lang siya. LELS. E dapat parang kumikinang. Pati bokeh, alaws. Pero again, I get ittttt kahit sayang kasi naman po, photogenic ang Japan pero ano na? Ginawa nilang very uhm pati Shibuya Crossing. Though oks lang kasi nakakastress for me for sure pag tumawid ako doon. Sana 'pag walang tao, doon ako makatawid para one forda books. EMS. Matatawid din natin 'yan sa ngalan ng visa ng napaka weak nating passport na may basbas naman na rin sa mga kinauukulan at mga anak ng juicekolerdsss. 'Di pa super soon because, alam mo naman ang Japan, laspagan is realllzzz. Hyperinflation pa, so bayad na lang muna tayo ng tax or find ways to avoid it. LOLLOLLLOLL.

And so, sabi ay light lang daw 'yung film, pero naman, as an aging millennial, this story is curious. Maganda 'yung script pero may mga super dragging parts lalo na 'yung pabebe love story nung mga bagets na, sige, oks na. Inyo na 'yan para medyo mahaba. Mabagal na naman 'yung pace as always, pero sana mas maraming twists na 'di naman kelangang twisted.

Also, tawang-tawa ako sa soulmate na ka-birthday because, nadaanan ko na 'yan. Not once. Twice pa. Though 'yung isa a few days after my birthday. Soulmates ko ba 'tong kulugong 'to? Puwede naman kasi nga super maalaga sila pero naman kasi ang mga kaaskaran. Hahahaha. I KENNAT. Parehas silang bestfriend ko na maka-TMI wagas tapos boogsh, naiba na ang tono ng mga kaganapan. Babaero sila parehas pero mabait sila sa akin. Matitino. Kung 'di, masasampal ko na, with bigwas pa. Saka patient kung patient akala mo naman may mapapala sa kanser na tulad ko. XY sila both. UGH. Hahahaha. Baka kaya, olats. CHZ.

Kidding aside, sobrang oks namin noon hanggang ngayon. 'Yung halos kabirthday ko, co-parent na ako ng junakis nila ng misis niya. Mas love ko na nga misis niya kahit ang tagal na naming magkakilala. Nag-transcend na rin friendship namin na mala-ampon na ako sa bahay nila nung nadeads kuya niya. Ganung levels na kami ngayon.

'Yung isa naman na kabirthday ko, ilang beses naming pinagtuusan kung puwede bang tumawid from bestfriend to more than friends, kaso 'di talaga e. Kasi 'di kami parehas ng viewpoints sa maraming bagay. Syempre, masakit ang portions na 'to kasi matagal din naman 'tong naghintay pero syempre, as a babaero since birth, 'yung waiting time niya is very meh. Until, napag-desisyunan namin na hanggang bestfriends na lang talaga ang tema ng lahat. Nag-sorry naman ako kasi nga, effort naman kung effort din siya. Kaso, 'di naman tayo nabubuhay sa effort lang. Need natin ng matindeng alignment sa mga kagustuhan at kaayawan. May family na rin siya at sana ay nasa mabuti siyang kalagayan kasi kung hindi, uumpog ko siya sa pader next time kaming magkita which is super duper rare these days. I guess, we outgrew each other kasi talaga kaya ganun 'yung naging desisyon ko.

Ayan, nood pa ng Tagalog films, mhie. Tawang-tawa ako kasi mga slightly un-core memories ko na 'to, pero wala e. Malaking part sa movie 'to so naalala ko.

And so, ano bang mga takeaways? Simple lang naman. 1 Mahal ang lupa sa Japan lalo na farm with bonsai. LOL.

2 We all die alone, after all.

3 Kahit maganda ang location kung wala ka namang mata or effort, wala rin talaga. Punta ka na lang sa Lamesa Ecopark 'pag walang tao. God bless.

4 Gusto ko na talaga gumawa ng bonsai. Baka maging patient na ako. Hahahahahaha. Shemay. Hanap ng ako sa bonsai garden sa Diliman. EMS.

5 Nasa timing lang talaga ang lahat. So sakay na lang ba ako ulit ng train pero apaka shitshow naman kasi ng lagay ng trains sa Manila. UGH. Hintayin ko na lang 'yung subway kung kaya ko pang i-wait.

6 Alagaan ang kalusugan kung 'di lasog ka. CHZ. LUH.

7 More than kilig, go for the one who makes you move. EMS. LUH SIYA. Kung 'di rin lang, 'wag na. Bye.

8 Ang mga kabruhahan at kabruhuhan, puwede diyang magsimula 'yan. LOL.

9 Be the person you want to marry. Period. So, ayun, love yourself pa rin, at the end of it all, and through it all.

10 We all die alone talaga so alam mo na. Also, strive to age gracefully. 'Yung walang halong kemikal at kung maaari, puro or natural. EMS. Mahirap i-achieve 'yan pero kapit lungs.

Sa ngalan ng pagiging Vilmanian ng nanay kong dragon, eto talaga inuna ko kesa pag-deep dive sa latest EP ng HoD. Lels. Though sobrang I KENNAT din sa newest EP na bakit naman kasiiiiii ganun? Anyway, sabi ko pa nga sa mom ko, manood siya with us para naman 'di siya mabore at magparamdam na naman ng akala mo laging may patago e. HIHIHIHIHI. Matinde pagpaparamdam niya sa akin lately kaya 'di ko na naman sure ano na namang pakay niya from the Other Side...or baka nisusundo na niya ako for reallzzz or... Abangan!

[mylifeaschich]

This is my journal.

Necesito un lugar para poner mis pensamientos y mis emociones y todo. nadie usa tumblr anymore y nadie va a encontrar esto so i feel some freedom. this is my introduction para mi misma si vuelvo a encontrar esto someday: hello alessia, soy alessia yourself pero en el pasado. 2024 to be precise y la fecha essss 30 de junio. okayyy epic

uuhhhh que mas te puedo decir?

tengo 19 años todavia, i am thouroughly unhappy y me quiero morir constantemente pero i have no guts to go through with it. i care a lot about the people in my life sobretodo zamora y si no lo tuviera probablemente si me hubiera matado already. but i havent. soooo i guess that says something about me as a person idk

no me gusta mi manera de ser, no me gusta mi cuerpo ni mi cara, ni mi vida en general. me cuesta mucho encontrar the joy of life, me siento super nihilistic y no siento que valga la pena mi vida o mi existencia as a whole. no creo que providee mucho a la sociedad en mi lifetime if anything at all.

Me siento geniunamente desgustada con todo mi contexto. Lo unico que me gusta es la hierba y mi novio, who will most likely end up hating me someday tmb pq no me gusta tirar anymore.

me va bien en la universidad i guess, osea me va normal, no me va excelente tampoco pero im somewhat proud of how im doing. no he hecho muchos amigos if any at all. tengo a angela pero no somos muy cercanas tampoco y ella es mi unica amiga de la uni. ojala podamos hacernos mas cercanas with time pero me cuesta mucho conectar con la gente.

mi vida social es una mierda. lol. odio a la gente con la que me rodeo, pero no logro conectar con nadie. siento que no encajo en ningun lugar y me siento completamente sola y horrible. siento que todos se juntan conmigo pq les da pena o miedo que me termine matando. zamora dice que no es asi pero no logro verlo como el lo ve.

no tengo plata. tipo si tengo plata como que no me muero de hambre y no soy financially responsible de nada ni nadie ni de mi misma, however, no puedo hacer nada interesante pq me gasto toda mi plata en comida y vapes. hoy dia pense abrirme un onlyfans pero le dije a zamora y me dijo que no se siente comodo con eso asi que i wont pq aunque lo haga en secreto no me aguantaria no decirle. es dms tempting, i have no other skills but serving big titties permanentemente i might as well monetize it pero no me dejo bu.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

he descifrado que me siento como un accesorio de zamora para las personas a nuestro alrededor. tipo perhaps no para keka pq ella es mI amiga pero ahora que matuk se ha hecho amigo de zamora y paran ellos dos on their own siento que me he vuelto la flaca de su amigo, as all men see me now. me siento objectified por todos sus amigos in a way. no me siento comoda con ellos whatsoever. ni con panki. y me esta diciendo para vernos con el hace rato pero no siento que sea algo del interes de panki tbh, aunque si podria ser del mio.

asi me he siento siempre que tengo flaco. sus amigues siempre me ven como una extension de ellos y no como un individual unico. me ven como la flaca de zamora y no como chicha y me da mucha pena no sentirme like a human being. siento que tengo que cambiar toda mi manera de ser para fit in with people y even then i still dont fit in. No logro conectar con ninguno de los amigos de zamora y i fear i might never be able to do so. ni siquiera se si quiero hacerlo to begin with. me dan pesimos vibes pq se que no me respetan y preferirian que no este ahi.

siento que las personas prefieren en general que no este yo. nadie me ha invitado a un hang out en meses lol. antes no me daba cuenta pero i have realized now. pensaba que todos estaban ocupados pero tis not that, solo no me invitan. me avisan if i happen to text them cuando estan por salir a veces. un claro ejemplo fue el cumpleaños de huevo. somos amigos allegedly bueno eramos pq desde que no me invito no lo considero un amigo. aparte que es una mala persona en general y se puede ir a la mierda. se for a fact que chele se pone casa seguido y simplemente no me pasan la voz lol. pero esos eran mis amigos y ahora ya no tengo ! ya nadie me invita a nada. el first hang out al que me invitan en meses fue el cumple de matuk y estare de viaje soooo amazing !

idk u guysss solo me siento extremadamente sola. i have no one to talk to either tipo no me siento comoda contandole mis cosas a raffa y ella era a la que le contaba todo. keka y yo ya no tenemos that kind of relationship, nos hemos distanciado un monton y me da mucha pena pero it is what it is. zamora is all i have pero dependo demasiado de el y eso no es sano. i have no one else.

no paro de comer todo el dia. lo unico que quiero hacer todo el rato es tragar y tragar y tragar y me he subido tanto de peso estos ultimos años geniuanmente me doy asco. me siento grotesca y repugnante. no me miro en el espejo EVER osea i avoid it as much as i possibly can. odio odio y no permito ever que me tomen fotos. no me siento confident whatsoever en mi misma.

i wonder si tengo victim mentality. que pasa si env no me pasa nada y its all in my head? si yo soy la culpable en verdad de todo lo que pasa en mi vida? what then? tipo estoy fundamentally fucked en la cabeza y no se como arreglarme. i feel wrong. me siento malograda. tipo algo esta mal conmigo y ya me dijeron que es pero no hay como solucionarlo. i hate being bipolar. kanye west was onto NOTHING cuando dijo i hate being bipolar, its awesome. it is not awesome.

he tenido todo el dia para hacer mis trabajos finales y no he ni agarrado un cuaderno. me siento totalmente paralizada. no se me va la ansiedad y no he comido toda mi cocina pq mi mama no me deja. no he fumado pq no tengo hierba y no me he cortado pq no tengo tajador roto. im too lazy to do any of it anyways asi que ni me he levantado de la cama en todo el dia. i shall make something env me muero de hambre.

okay he comido let us not fear. me siento mas tranquila, tome crema de espinaca. mañana tengo que ir con mi grupo de la uni a tomar fotos para mi final A LAS 10 DE LA MAÑANA CARAJO. y a las 3 tengo expo. y quiero salir a explorar un parque tipo curiosiar como niña y jugar en los juegos no se NO SE. siento que me estoy volviendo loca u guys.

[snixx]

wait pls elaborate on ur insta hate bc i so agree 😭

eughhehdhffhh where do I even start

okay no I know. let’s start with how everyone and their fatherfucking walrus is on there it’s like a goddamn cult. you are forced to feel the fomo when you don’t have an account because EVERYTHING happens on there but if you haven’t made one yet trust me do NOT do it. run while you still can. because the fomo of not being on shitstagram is only a sliver of the actual fomo you feel once you join the cult. it’s a neverending social hellscape that concentrates the worst most painful parts of the social experience unless you’re one of those super chill people with three super tight friends you’ve had for years and an even tighter rule of not letting anyone else on there it gets stressful as shit. and if you are I mean that’s great I’m glad that works for you but 1) im not sure how long that can last because you’re all not going to stay in one place your whole life and 2) as someone who’s been the new kid and not fit in anywhere my whole life I personally have always felt weird about hard defined groupism. and god instagram thrives on groupism.

people are fucking obsessed with taking pictures and posting them on instagram. whatever you do. and it’s the easiest way to get sucked into social pressure because however firm you are about your boundaries constantly seeing everyone else having fun without you does get to you. it’s like there’s almost no point doing things together unless you post about it at this point and I fucking hate it. the serotonin you get when someone tags you in a story or adds you on their close friends or whatever feels good yeah but it’s a TRAP. it’s like an MLM. you’re always going to exclude someone and be excluded and it becomes impossible not to start comparing and it honestly ruins normal fun experiences. one thing I’ve realized in college is parties are literally just for the taking pictures. I didn’t think I could hate parties more than I already did but I swear to god it’s a fucking curse. instagram fuels jealousy and insecurity like nothing else especially when you’re in a not very stable stage of life. I didn’t mind instagram as much in certain stages of high school because all my friends were losers (affectionate) like me and no one really posted about things like hangouts and we basically used it just to shitpost and like a sort of digital journal. in an environment like a new college where everything is slippery and undeveloped though it’s a breeding pool of insecurity and comparison.

and there’s the whole tagging culture and people will have these super exclusive private accounts and okay that's only the social aspect of instagram. it's very mentally exhausting when you don't have a clearly defined social circle - which like i said is pretty much impossible as a young adult unless you stay in one place for a long time and/or have a clique or something. instagram is inherently about social perception and projection and in my experience that's rarely a good thing because it isn't usually authentic. and it's coloured by what other people think in the worst way. especially when you're developing as a person and aren't 100% sure of who you are. you lose track of when you stop doing it for yourself. this is not even a third of my issues with it we need to get a speed on lol

I'm not going to get started on the reels and kind of content they have on there and shit because that is just going to become another uncontrollable rant lol. suffice to say it's an echo chamber of the same algo driven shit that literally warps your sense of reality and what is normal and it's not an easy perform to curate. it's essentially just the worst parts of whatsapp and tiktok lol. it literally rots your brain and it sucks that people predominantly use it to stay connected because whatsapp is better for that imo. the content is exponentially better and more diverse on youtube it's just. not worth it in any sense tbh

[bobastar]

here’s part one:

’𝚈𝙾𝚄 𝚆𝙾𝙽𝚃 𝙶𝙴𝚃 𝚃𝙾 𝙲𝙷𝙾𝙾𝚂𝙴 𝚆𝙷𝙾 𝙸 𝙻𝙾𝚅𝙴-!’

𝙲𝚊𝚖𝚒𝚕𝚘 𝚇 𝚏! 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛

ఌ ఌ

you guys stayed for a bit until you calmed down. “you ready to home princesa?” he caressed the side of your face, moving his thumb over your cheek softly. you nodded and got up with him. you brushed off your dress and linked your arm with his. he held on to you securely, always checking if you were okay and actually ready to go home.

“are you sure you don’t want me to stay?” he sighed and looked at you. “im fine, thank you cielo.” you kissed his forehead, letting go of his arm. you reached your porch and he was worried you’d be lonely. “if you say so bonita, have great dreams.” he kissed your cheek, then your lips and walked back. you smiled to yourself and went to your room, flopping on your bed. sighing heavily, you closed your stinging eyes, trying not to cry anymore.

— —

camilo walked back furious and disappointed in his abuela. how could she? he wasn’t going to let this slide, i mean that’s his girlfriend we’re talking about! no one gets to talk about her, especially about her looks. she’s so adorable, and caring, and her eyes…her delicate hands, god he gets so flustered each time he sees you, or hears your voice. abuela will regret saying those awful things to you.

he opened the door and just by a glance of his face you could just tell what was about to go down. julieta and pepa smiled to themselves as camilo sat across from abuela.

“what the hell was that Alma?” he told her crossing his arms. her eyes widen, “perdón?! you can’t talk to me like that.”

“oh but you can talk to my girlfriend like that? honestly, dime algo abuelita, what was going through your head when you decided to speak up.” he scoffed and laid back into his chair. stumbling over her words camilo shook his head softly and chuckled. “from what i can tell, absolutely nothing…why do you hate her? ella no te hizo absolutamente nada!” he stood up and hovered over the table, his hands firmly pressed down.

“i dont know why you’re acting like this camilo, clearly she’s doing no good for you except making you burst out-“ “WHY AM I ACTING LIKE THIS?!” he laughed sarcastically “oh i don’t alma maybe because you embarrassed y/n in front of everyone..”

“i didnt embarrass her, she did it to herself for looking like the way she is. really camilo, out of all las niñas bonitas escoges la más fea. you should be with someone-“

“no! don’t you dare finish that stupid sentence..” he gulped “you don’t get to choose who i love..! y/n is one of the only people who don’t care about about my what you like to call ‘blessing’ when in reality it’s a curse! you only care about this dumb power! and not for me… y/n has been there for me more than you have my whole life! she’s not only beautiful on the outside but she has a better personality than you.” his eyes were now watery and tears were coming down his face quickly. abuela was left speechless as camilo left casita to go with his novia.

he wipes his eyes as he walked down the streets. he didn’t feel bad, he needed to defend his amor. alma needs to see that she was in the wrong.

he reached the house and knocked on her window. the curtain was swooped to the side and showed y/n’s pretty face.

— —

“cami?” you opened your window. “ it’s gonna rain soon, come inside.” he crawled inside the room. “i think i know why it’s going to rain.” he sniffed and chuckled quietly.

“hey…” you closed your window and fixed your curtain. “hey what’s what’s wrong?” you went towards him quickly and cupped his face.

“im sorry, i really am y/n/n. i didnt mean for dinner to go like that.” he put his hand over yours, rubbing it lightly with his thumb. “i understand if you want a break or…”

“i would never want that to happen between us cami. you’re the whole universe to me.” you kisses his forehead. “i mean it. you didn’t expect for things to become they way it was. i don’t blame you.” he sighed shakily.

“can we just…cuddle?” he smiled softly. “yeah of course..” you went into bed and put your body under the sheets. he made sure to not make you uncomfortable and asked you if he could as well. “yeah of course.”

he took off his ruana and shirt, putting on an extra shirt he had. “are you comfortable?” he asked as he put his hands around your waist.

“mhm, are you?” you leaned your head on to his chest. he only nodded, taking in a deep breath, and smiling to himself.

his heart was beating fast, you could hear it.

he was so nervous to be getting so close to you.

“y/n…” he went down to your level and made eye contact with you. “you know i love you right? i didnt love you for you looks that was only a plus, but i love you for…you.” he smiled warmly at you.

“i love you too, ever since you tripped in front of me.” you laughed quietly. “we don’t speak about that day.” he joked and got closer to you.

you both leaned in and kissed. it lasted for about 5 seconds, until you both pulled back, smiling shyly at each other.

“no matter what happens, i’ll always be here.” he pulls you to your chest. “i’ll be here too.” your voice was muffled “always?” he kisses the top of your head. “always.” you kisses his neck softly.

“im counting on you to fulfill your promise when we have kids running around the house.” he joked. “i only want two kids.” you looked up at him. “hm…how about 5?” he smirked.

“im kidding amorcito..!” he looked down at you and smiled. “we can have two kids then.”

“and a cat, and in the house we can have a library.” you suggested. “and a pool, with some floaties.” he joined in.

“and we’ll grow old together, being just as happy as we are now, hm?” he played with your hair yawing. “i can’t wait to grow old with you.” you kissed his jawline. he chuckles softly and kissed your forehead. “me neither..”

[thesolotomyhan]

amado carrillo fuentes as a dad would include

a/n: hehe slowly coming back because heres my soft ass dropping this long hc for you guys, im so in love with preggo/dad hcs yall im sorry pls love me-

Taglist: @fandomnerd16​ @visintaes​ @sheeshgivemeabreak​  @artemiseamoon​ @yvngfirefly​ 

let me know if you want to be tagged!​

ok so,, we’ve briefly already gone over some ideas of amado being a dad and in some sense how he would be when your pregnant-

but let’s refresh some points here and there yeah? because im SOFT at the thought of amado becoming a dad and the fucking HEART EYES DE TONTIN he would always have looking at you-

just listen- ok because the very moment amado knew about his kid’s existence growing inside of you-

this man was instantly wrapped around their little finger right then and there,, he just grew an attachment with them from then on alright

like im just imagining him always talking to your stomach every single night he possibly can,,

giving it little kisses, his other hand caressing your stomach like “8 mas meses mi amor, hasta que yo y tu mami te podemos abrazar” i

like :(( i can see him whispering to your stomach at 3 in the morning, thinking your asleep as he gently whispers to his bebe about anything and everything when he cant sleep-

and like hed just talk about if his kid is going to be a girl hes just over here saying something like “si dios quiere bendecirme, saldras igualita a tu mama, de hermosa y inteligente-” i cannot

dios mio- he just screams overprotective,, like if you thought he was protective before with you, that is nothing compared to the amount of extraness hes taking when youre pregnant,,

like hes going to be duplicating your security so much even if youre just going to the store down the block for 1 thing- youre going to be even more untouchable than the president- hes not taking any chances-

when hes with you,, my god hes just doing the MOST,

like he hates it if people look at you for more than 5 seconds because hes already snapping back at them like- “qUE CABRON, te gusto algo o que? no te traje para que te le quedes mirando a mI ESPOSA ASI-” i

he would also never let you do things on your own when hes there, it doesnt matter if youre 6 weeks pregnant or 7 months pregnant, hes not letting you move a single muscle because hes already going to be doing it for you-

doesn’t matter if all you have to do is move your arm to open the door- his ass is already opening it, holding you by the small of your back :((

but also the cravings?? dear god- I swear he gets them more than you do

because when your craving donuts or something at 2 in the morning hes over here snapping his fingers and sending his men out the moment you so as much think about it-

“órale pues, hijos de su reshingada madre, ya escucharon, traigan a mi esposa sus 3 cajas de pan” lmaoo when literally all you wanted was one but ya le sacaste las ganas a el-

just :(( he would love to eat cravings with you all the time so you dont feel bad :( its one of his favorite things to do- i cant 

and listen- the AVIONETA TOYS!!

its something that i know he would do as a dad :( like him collecting all these different toys while youre pregnant,, organizing them around his kid’s room :(

so when his kid is older they can play with them with like these matching pjs he bought :(((

just wanting his kid to be able to be interested in the things that amado likes to do- its BONDING ok dont look at me-

but also this baby mobile he got for his kid,, with like these little airplanes hanging from them,,

woW :( i cry at the thought of him playing around with it everytime he walks into the room,, just imaging the moment when he’ll be able to look down and see his angelito sleeping i :((

he just gives me so much soft vibes of wanting to try to always be apart of his kid’s life growing up,,

just never wanting to leave your side either because dear god if something were to happen to you or his kid before he ever gets to meet them-

its going to be like juarez never existed in the first place,, hes just always going to be right there next to you as much as physically possible,,, god- it only gets increases when his kid is finally born-

this mf never shuts up about you and his baby,,

like probably ranting for hours to acosta about it like, “nada, cabron, nada se siento mejor que poder por fin alzar a mi hijo/a, pinshi hermoso creatura que mi esposa me dio-“ :((

AHh,,wait can you fucking imagine you making acosta the padrino,,:( because ??

like even though he cant stand when amado doesnt shut up,, nothing beat the feeling the day he met your kid,, just happier than ever that you chose him to look over them:(((

i am laughing at the thought of acosta always walking up to amado whenever he has your kid,,

his voice going all light like “buenos dias, donde esta mi nino/a favorito?!” and just taking his kid out of his arms,, spinning them around, completely ignoring amado all together as he starts to walk away-loL probably while still talking to your kid and offering them candy :(

god- since we’re here his kid would literally want to be around amado all the time,, wanting his attention,, i just !!

imagine amado convincing you so that he can take his kid to work or something- i

the smile on his face because his kid is over here in his arms pointing at all the planes like “papi!! mira, that one looks like my stuffed airplane at home” little finger pointing excitedly- i cannot

but he would never, never mention anything about his business in front of them for your sake but also because he doesnt want to ever be the bad guy in his kids eyes alright :(

also im so sorry in advance but if he had a daughter that little girl would fucking OWN his heart- his princessa de todos los cielos :((( NO IM NOT CRYING

ayY but if he had a son, i just know he would dress him up in all black like su papi:(( a LITTLE CUERVITO version- oh my god :(

he would be such a fucking pushover dad too- like always reading them bedtime stories, giving into them no matter what,, getting them these big ass surprise presents every time he comes home from the airstrip,, just CONSINTIENDO HIS NINOS all the time-

like:( hold on just imagine on some days you coming from the kitchen after making some dessert for your ninos and amado but finding them all passed out on your bed:(((

like your daughter on top of his chest and your son curled into his side,, both of them holding their favorite stuffed toy, their little hands holding onto his shirt -I SOB

i just- i can see him also being the dad that would hold his kid above him,, carefully tossing them in the air

his laughs mixing in with their little fucking giggles as he brings them down to his face to kiss them every time :((((

i don’t know- im just so soft at the idea of him walking around the house or his work with his kid on his hip :((-

or him distracting his ninos while you cook breakfast for them- i just might about sob if i keep going

oh fuck- or every morning before he leaves to go work, he comes into their bedroom,, kissing the top of their heads,, moving their messy hair out of the way :((

probably prays a little thing- like for nothing bad to happen to you or his kids while hes gone for the day:( i

:(( no offense but i cannot handle the thought of him picking them up in their blanket in the morning,, his kid still sleeping and bringing them into your bed so youre all together when you wake up- his soft fucking smile while he tucks them into you :((((

becasue THATS HIS FAMILIA- the one hes always dreamed about having- 

wow um- but hes definitely the type of dad that would build his kids a whole ass park in the backyard for them-

like his kids wanting a swimming pool with a water slide? You bet your ass hes going to build one,, im :((

wow ok but if his son was into soccer or his daughter into ballet or something and theyre practicing at home-

i can see him being the dad that would sit there, smile on his fucking face,, praising them while they practice,, ugHH just him telling you about the improvements they made while he watched them-  i

god- please don’t get me started how he’ll always go to school plays/sports with you just so he can feel orgulloso thats his kid out there performing-

why am i crying at the thought of him having this picture of you and your kids with him wherever he goes, like his buena suerte or something- im SORRY i CANT

or him calling you every day when hes at work,, wanting to hear your voice but also hear the moment his kids scream “WE LOVE YOU DADDY!!” :(

i just- every night,, him always telling you how he would never change you and his kids for anything in the world like- “sabes, dios me bendicio de que tu fueras la mama perfecta para mis hijos-” goodbye i need to go cry

[thalassa-caelum]

IN/ENGLISH:

Well, this is going to be the last post I'm going to do on this topic and then "The End". As you know , followers and friends, a couple of months ago I have been receiving hateful (anonymous) comments from useless people who have a lot of free time. Normally, I ignore these kinds of things because they're the sick pastimes of cowardly people, but I have found out that they have been spreading slurs on me, so I'm going to dedicate this post to politely answer them:

1."Your Liar Princess is a copy of xxxx": Wrong. They told me this in 2021 but my AU was published on Feb 17th, 2019. You just have to go to the original post and you will find their publication date. This AU was born out of my fanaticism for the video game. There is no more story behind this. However, it's important to emphasize that my Au's story is VERY DIFFERENT from the story of the video game. The Knight and the Huntress don't exist in the video game, the Wolf's intentions are different (the game's wolf is much friendlier), and the Prince doesn't have magical eyes. These are some examples. Is it a copy of what exactly?

2. ”Your Identity V3 AU is a copy...too”: My AU’s was posted on Oct 17th, 2018, two years before the DRxID Collab announcement. I'm not a time traveler, is impossible for my AU to be a copy, and even if I decided to draw something on this today then that would just be a fanart, not a copy. To this I add, this AU’s was born when the Identity V game wasn't the globally recognized game that is today. I just thought "it would be a cool mix" and the rest is history.

3. “Your D. of Shuichi is a copy" (of what? They have never specified it): Wrong again. My comic (January 12, 2021) is slightly inspired by a book that I love called "Disarticulations", which tells the story of a woman with Alzheimer's. Obviously, neither Shuichi nor Kokichi have this sad disease, since the only thing I took from the book was a phrase ["only when we forget something, can we begin to remember"] and the rest is a modern interpretation of a philosophy concept name that I willn't mention because it would ruin much of the mystery. It isn't a copy, at most it has an intertext inside.

4. (This is perhaps the most inconceivable lol), “Your Remake is a copy”. because it makes all the logic in the world... to copy myself. I know that my style has changed, but I think is clear that the two drawings are the work of the same person because... they both have my watermark on them *sigh*.

- I think this shouldn't even be a topic of discussion, it's very easy to find the publication dates of each of the Au's in this blog, and if they need more "proof" I have each of the original files saved on other platforms. In addition, it's very easy to identify the same dates in the metadata. Personally, I wasn't going to say anything about this because is a waste of time for me, however this post is to affirm that I'm not going to delete my drawings or my account just because some children are bothered by my saiouma, my ideas or they "don't like me" for their immature reasons. Here posted drawings just for fun, I don't want money, or anything like that, I'm never going to profit from this because I'm not a professional artist like many of my friends and, thanks God, I don't need it. For this same reason, I have the total freedom to posting what I want since, as I said, is a hobby.

My apologies for this text, but I thought is necessary to clarify the obvious in case any of you became a recipient of this nonsense.

Have a nice day, ladies and gentlemen.

Long Live Tonight.

SPANISH/ESPAÑOL:

Bueno, este va a ser el último post que voy a hacer sobre este tema y luego voy a concluirlo. Como ustedes saben, seguidores, hace un par de meses he estado recibiendo comentarios (anónimos) de odio de parte de gente inutil que tiene mucho tiempo libre. Normalmente, ignoro esta clase de cosas porque son los pasatiempos enfermizos de gente cobarde, pero me he enterado que han estado esparciendo difamaciones sobre mí, así que voy a dedicar este post a contestarles:

1.Tu Liar Princess es una copia de xxxx. Error. Esto me lo dijeron en 2021 pero mi AU fue publicado en Feb 17th, 2019. Solamente tienes que ir al post original y encontrarás la fecha de publicación. Este AU nació por mi fanatismo por el videojuego. No hay historia más detrás de esto. Sin embargo, es importante recalcar que la historia de mi AU es MUY DIFERENTE a la historia del videojuego. El Caballero y la Cazadora no existen en el videojuego, las intenciones del Lobo son diferentes (el lobo del juego es mucho más amigable), y el príncipe no tiene ojos mágicos. Estos son algunos ejemplos. ¿Es una copia de qué exactamente?

2.”Tu Identity V3 AU es una copia”: Mi AU’s fue publicado el Oct 17th, 2018, dos años antes del anuncio del Collab. No soy una viajera del tiempo, es imposible que sea una copia y aunque yo decidiera dibujar algo sobre esto el día de hoy, entonces eso sería simplemente un fanart, no una copia. A esto agrego, este AU’s nació cuando el juego de Identity V no era el juego mundialmente reconocido que es hoy en día. Simplemente pensé “sería un mix cool” y el resto es historia.

3. “Tu D.of Shuichi” es una copia (¿de qué? Nunca lo han especificado). Como sea, de nuevo error. Mi comic ( Jan 12th, 2021) está inspirado levemente en un libro que amo llamado “Desarticulaciones”, el cual cuenta la historia de una mujer con alzheimer. Obviamente, ni Shuichi ni Kokichi tienen esta triste enfermedad, ya que lo único que tomé del libro fue una frase “solamente cuando olvidamos algo, podemos empezar a recordar” y lo demás es una interpretación moderna de un concepto de la filosofía cuyo nombre no voy a mencionar porque arruinaría gran parte del misterio. No es una copia, a lo sumo tiene un intertexto.

4. Esta es quizás la más inconcebible, “tu Remake es una copia”. Porque tiene toda la lógica del mundo el copiarme de mí misma. Sé que mi estilo ha cambiado, pero creo que es evidente que los dos dibujos son obra de una misma persona porque ambos tienen mi marca de agua en él.

Creo que esto ni siquiera debería ser un tema de discusión, es muy sencillo encontrar las fechas de publicación de cada uno de los AU’s en este blog, y si necesitan más “pruebas” tengo cada uno de los archivos originales guardados en otras plataformas. Además, es muy sencillo identificar las mismas fechas en los metadatos. Personalmente no iba a decir nada sobre esto porque es una pérdida de tiempo, sin embargo este post es para afirmar que no voy a borrar mi contenido ni mis cuentas solamente porque a unos niños les moleste el saiouma, mis ideas, o yo no les agrade por sus razones inmaduras. Publicó dibujos solamente por diversión, no quiero dinero, ni nada parecido, nunca voy a lucrar con esto porque no soy una artista profesional como varios de mis amigos y, gracias a Dios, no lo necesito. Por esta misma razón, tengo la libertad total para publicar lo que yo desee ya que, como dije, es un pasatiempo.

Mis disculpas por este texto, pero creí necesario aclarar lo evidente por si alguno de ustedes llega a ser receptor de estas tonterías.

Tengan un buen día, damas y caballeros.

Long Live Tonight.

[anchorandrope]

arguments of those who believe in bbg

“louis would never involve a minor” “he wouldn’t lie to us”

this gives me impotence because clearly they don’t understand that louis and harry didn’t want to have a babygate, why the hell they would want to have one? do you think that one day the two of them got up and said “oh i want to use a woman and a baby to hide my sexuality of course because it's okay to do it and clearly i don't want to come out of the closet”? it’s OBVIOUS that they were forced to do it. besides, following this logic, they lied to us with their beards and used women to cover up their relationship because they wanted to, hahaha you can see that they don’t understand anything about contracts and they use the word “they wouldn’t lie to us” when it suits them.

“the music industry is bad but not that bad”

this is literally a joke, how the hell are you going to consider yourself a larrie and think that “the industry is not that bad”? being larrie you should know perfectly that the music industry is capable of doing what they did to harry and louis and much more, for the music industry it’s never too much. there are thousands of cases where they did the same or worse things but of course, it’s not that bad!

“it’s disrespectful to doubt his paternity” “it’s wrong to think that he is not his son”

this is like ??? i never understood why is “disrespectful” to doubt the paternity of someone like, pulling out the louis case, if i see that a family where everyone has blue eyes and are blond (parents, grandparents, uncles, etc) and a baby is born with brown eyes and brown hair clearly i’m going to think or is adopted or the woman cheated on the man, and it’s not that i’m a disrespectful for realizing that something doesn’t fit, i simply have reasons to think what i think. in the case of louis we doubt his paternity because we have reasons to do so and that doesn’t make us disrespectful?) i will never understand the “disrespectful” behind doubting about something (on any subject).

“freddie is louis’s copy”

this is one is funny because they have the same face hahaha oh.... literally, the kid is photoshopped 😐 the amount of evidence that they photoshop him are countless and it’s not necessary to be an expert in photoshop or genetic to realize it. besides, whenever you say that they photoshop him, they come out with the genetics and clearly they don’t know how it works because i get traits from my parents, i don’t have the same face haha, they are two very different things and yes, there are people who have faces very similar to the one of their parents but it’s not common nor does it occur in all circumstances. to add, not just any blond kid with blue eyes is exacltly like louis :)

“it’s impossible to fake a pregnancy”

false, it is very possible. faking a pregnancy is neither impossible nor difficult (as we can see), there are many cases where it’s suspected that the pregnancy of a celebrity is false (not exclusively due to the issue of closeting but because maybe the woman is infertile and doesn’t want to say it) so it’s very possible haha.

“stop talking about this, what will freddie think when he grows up and see that everyone said that his father was not his father”

the truth is, i would be more concerned about what the minor is going to think when he grows up and sees that his family used him to put in the closet a couple and earn money for that. let’s put it like this: you prefer to believe that the kid is “going to feel bad” because of seen teenagers analyzing their father's life and supporting briana’s family and running the risk that if you are wrong you were supporting people who used a minor to earn money or you prefer not to defend that family and in the case that you were wrong, the worst that will happen is that the kid will “feel bad” for seeing that they said that his father was not his father? in one case you support abusers and in the other you “make the child feel bad”... no possibility is nice but which one do they prefer?

“in that photo you can’t see her belly because of the angle”

wow i just found out that if i take a picture at a certain angle, an 8-month-old belly disappears! tremendous, why dieting if with just one angle i can lose 7 pounds? consistency please.

“briana stole photos of other pregnant women because she had a lot of pressure”

mm how weird that a stranger has so much “pressure” to steal photos right? katy perry is a thousand times more famous than she, therefore she had more pressure and we didn’t see her stealing photos of other pregnant woman😐

“louis hates you”

this one is sad because it makes me sick that people think that louis is capable of hating one of his fans, whatever the thought they has😩 the truth is, i know him well enough to say for sure that he would never hate one of his fans. it’s also funny because a grown man hating teenagers for how they think is quite a failure and clearly louis isn’t a failure nor does he have enough free time to hate us lol.

“get yourself a dad” “you need a dad”

hahahaha this is one of my favorites, not only because it will always be funny that when someone is stupid they blame men for their paternal absence so the fact that they use it as an insult in itself it is funny but it’s even more funny because those of us who don't believe in babygate seem to know what paternal love is because it was very easy for us to realize that louis is not a loving or attentive “father” so it seems to me that those who lack a father are those who believe he is one😬

“deactivate” “weirdo” “kill yourself” “psychopath” etc

i don’t like these ones due to the fact that i find it horrible to insult in that way just for thinking differently, although they make me laugh because the only thing that shows is that they don’t have a single argument to contradict us since if they did they would not resort to insults.

when you send them a masterpost and they reply with “to much text”

this is funny because it’s synonymous of “i know you’re right that’s why i don’t want to read it because if i read it i know i‘m going to think differently and i’m going to look stupid and i don't want to” so when they tell you this is when you're doing it right.

the truth is that the “arguments” that twarries use are practically nil because they never told me other one that isn’t one of these so once again they show that they have no way to justify their timelines.

—————————————————

argumentos de lxs que creen en el bbg

“louis no involucraría a un menor” “el no nos mentiría”

esta da una bronca porque claramente no entienden que louis y harry no querían tener un babygate, como mierda van a querer tener uno? que se piensan que un dia los dos se levantaron y dijeron “uy que ganas de usar a una mujer y a un bebe para ocultar mi sexualidad claro porque esta re bien hacerlo y claramente yo no quiero salir de closet”?? es OBVIO que los obligaron a hacerlo. aparte siguiendo esta lógica ellos nos mientieron con las barbas y usaron mujeres para tapar su relación porque querían jajaja se nota que no entiende nada de contratos y usan el “no nos mentirían” cuando les conviene.

“la industria de la musica es mala pero tampoco tanto”

esta es un chiste literalmente, como mierda te vas considerar larrie y pensar que “la industria no es tan mala”?? siendo larrie deberías conocer a la perfección que la industria de la musica es capaz de hacer lo que le hizo a harry y a louis y mucho mas, para la industria de la musica nunca es demasiado. hay miles de casos donde hicieron cosas igual o peores pero claro, no es mala!!

“es irrespetuoso dudar de su paternidad” “esta mal pensar que no es su hijo”

esta es como ??? nunca entendí lo “irrespetuoso” de dudar de la paternidad de alguien tipo, sacando el caso de louis, si yo veo que una famila donde todos tienen ojos azules y son rubios (padres, abuelos, tios, etc) y sale un bebe con ojos y pelo marrón claramente voy a pensar o es adoptado o la mujer cuerneó al tipo y no es que soy una irrespetuosa de mierda por darme cuenta que algo no encaja, simplemente tengo razones para pensar lo que pienso. en el caso de louis nosotrxs dudamos de su paternidad porque tenemos razones para hacerlo y eso no nos hace unas irrespetuosas de mierda?) nunca voy a enteder lo “irrespetuoso” detras de dudar sobre algo (sobre ningun tema).

“freddie es la copia de louis”

esta da risa porque tienen la misma cara jajaj oh.... literalmente, al pibe lo photoshopean 😐 la cantidad de pruebas de que lo photoshopean son incontables y no es necesario ser un experto del photoshop ni de genetica para darse cuenta. aparte, siempre que decis que lo photoshopean salen con la genética y claramente no saben como funciona porque yo saco rasgos de mis padres, no tengo la misma cara jajja son dos cosas muuy distintas y si, si hay gente que tiene la cara muy parecida a la de sus padres pero no es comun ni se da en todas las circunstancias. para agregar, no cualquier pibe rubio de ojos celestes es igual a louis :)

“es imposible fingir un embarazo”

falso, es muy posible. fingir un embarazo no es ni imposible ni difícil (como podemos ver), hay muchos casos donde se sospecha que el embarazon de una celebridad es falso (no exclusivamente por el tema de closeting sino de que por ahi la mujer es infertil y no lo quiere decir) asi que muy posible es jaja.

“dejen de hablar de esto, que va a pensar freddie cuando sea grande y vea que todos decían que su papá no era su papá”

la verdad yo me preocuparía mas en que va a pensar el nene cuando crezca y vea que su familia lo usó para enclosetar una pareja y ganar plata por eso😳 vamos a ponerlo asi: prefieren creer que el nene se “va a poner mal” porque vea a unxs adolescentes analizando la vida de su papá y apoyar a la familia de briana y correr el riesgo de que si estas mal estuviste apoyando a personas que usaron un menor para ganar plata o preferís no defender a esa familia y en el caso de que estes mal lo peor que va a pasar es que el nene se “ponga mal” por ver que decían que su papá no era su papá? en un caso apoyas a abuzadores y en el otro “haces sentir mal” al menor... ningúna posibilidad es linda pero cual prefieren?

“en esa foto no se le ve la panza por el ángulo”

wow me acabo de enterar que si me saco una foto en cierto angulo se me va a una panza de 8 meses! tremendo, para que hacer dieta si con solo un ángulo ya puedo bajar 7 kilos? coherencia por favor.

“briana robó fotos de otras embarazadas porque tenía mucha presión”

mm que raro que una desconocida tenga tanta “presión” como para robar fotos no? katy perry es mil veces mas famosa que ella por ende tenía mas presión y no la vimos robando fotos de embarazadas 😐

“louis te odia”

esta es triste porque me da pena que haya gente que piense que louis es capaz de odiar a una de sus fans sea el pensamiento que tenga😩 la verdad lo conozco lo suficiente como para decir segura que el jamas odiaría a una de sus fans. también es gracioso porque que un hombre adulto este odiando adolescentes por como piensan es bastante fracasado y claramente louis no es fracasado ni esta tan al pedo como para odiarnos lol.

“conseguite un papá” “te falta un papá”

jajajajaj esta es una de mis favoritas, no solo porque siempre va a ser gracioso que cuando alguien es boludo culpen a los hombres por su ausencia paterna asi que lo usen como insulto ya de por si es gracioso pero es aún mas gracioso porque se ve que las que no creemos en el babygate sabemos lo que es el amor paterno porque se nos dio muy facil darnos cuenta que louis no es un “padre” amoroso ni atento asi que me parece que a las que les falta un padre es a las que creen que lo es😬

“desactiva” “down” “mogólica” “inválida” “matate” “droppealo” etc

estos no me gustan por el hecho de que me parece horrible insultar de esa manera solo por pensar distinto, aunque me dan risa porque lo único que demuestra es que no tienen un solo argumento para contradecirmos ya que si los tuvieran no recurririan a los insultos.

cuando les mandas un masterpost y te ponen “mucho texto”

esta es graciosa porque es sinonimo de “se que tenes razon por eso no lo quiero leer porque si lo leo se que voy a pensar distinto y voy a quedar como una estupida y no quiero” asi que cuando te dicen eso es que estas haciendo las cosas bien.

la verdad los “argumentos” que usan las twarries son prácticamente nulos porque nunca me dijieron uno que no sea uno de estos asi que una vez mas demuestran que no tienen manera de justificar sus timelines.

[mxndoscyarika]

Red Sunsets (Javier Peña x Chinese!reader) | Chapter 8: El Punto de Sucumbir

Author’s note: I don’t wanna give toooooo much away, but I just wanted to let you know that we’ve finally reached lucky number 8 👀 If you were here a couple nights ago, you proooobably have an idea of what’s going to happen, because I had asked a few questions related to ~kisses~, if you catch my drift. Let me know what you guys think!

Summary: Family fights, grudges, and determination. Those three things defined your journey as you navigated through the workings of the DEA. Getting in was hard, and catching Escobar was even harder. You joined Javier Peña and Steve Murphy in the hunt for Escobar, forming bonds and life lessons along the way.

Like my writing? Here’s my masterlist. 

Red Sunsets masterlist

Warning(s): food, Careless Whisper lol, physical affection, implied smut

“So where are you taking me, again?” you asked, looking out at the passing buildings. You didn’t recognize the shops and restaurants you’d passed. The sky was darkened to a royal blue, the last rays of sunlight already well below the horizon.

“One of my personal favorite restaurants in Colombia,” he answered. “They have good arepas, your favorite, and the owners are pretty friendly. I used to go there often before you came along.”

You let out a breathy laugh. “What happened after I arrived that made you forego your favorite restaurant?”

Shrugging, he said, “I guess you happened.” He scoffed at your pout. “Oh, don’t look at me like that. You’re worth all the arepas in the world.”

You were thankful for the shroud of darkness, because you felt your cheeks grow hot and you bit your lip to contain your grin. “And you’re worth all the homemade dumplings.”

Javi chuckled softly, fingers drumming on the steering wheel. As usual, you had the perfect response. He could barely remember a time when he truly cared about flirting, or how the women of his affections responded. But somehow, every time, you managed to turn his tactics around on him.

It took every ounce of self control to keep his eyes on the road and his hands to himself. You wore a simple t-shirt and jeans, and what little makeup you applied only served to make your cheeks and lips look unbearably kissable.

He took a deep breath and tightened his grip on the wheel. More times than he wanted to admit, he’s caught himself reaching to hold your hand or rest his hand on your thigh. Thankfully, it was dark enough that you probably hadn’t noticed. As much as he hated to acknowledge it, you weren’t his. He hadn’t even worked up the guts to tell you how he felt yet.

“Hola Javier!” the owner greeted, her face lighting up. She wiped her hands on her apron and waved for him to sit down at a table. “Hace mucho tiempo que no nos vemos. Quién es ella, tu novia?”

Javi blushed, smiling sheepishly. While he couldn’t understand what Chinese shop owners said, you could understand Spanish as well as he did. “No no no, ella es una amiga. Nos conocemos del trabajo.”

The owner of the restaurant simply hummed in response and eyed you from head to toe, much like how a parent may analyze a prom date. “Pues, no te molestaré, okey? Cuéntame si necesitas algo.”

More than accustomed to eating family-style, you and Javi ordered a couple of the smaller entrees and a flan to share. Much like how Javi let you take the reins in local Chinese restaurants, you let him order the food and make small talk. You propped your head up against your hand as you watched him, a small smile perpetually on your lips.

The low moan that left your lips when you bit into a cheesy arepa was music to his ears. He wondered if you’d sound like that when you were kissed. Only when your eyes met did his train of thought come to a screeching halt.

Fighting back a blush, he busied himself with splitting an arepa stuffed with meat, beans, and cheese and sliding the plate over. You tried not to think about how he was so gentle. “Try this one, hermosa. I think you’ll like it.”

“You’re a man aiming for my heart,” you hummed. In your past relationships, you never had anyone treat you the way Javi did with his genuine eagerness. Not that you and he were on a date, you’d never called it that, but you couldn’t help but draw the comparison. You lifted the half that he offered and took a big bite, giggling when the grated cheese stuck to your cheek.

“You have a little bit of….” Laughing softly at your plight, he reached over and brushed it off with his thumb, the pad of his finger caressing your cheek. You fought the urge to lean into his touch and nuzzle your face into the palm of his hand. Javi was just being polite, right? It didn’t mean anything.

Javi drew his hand away and glanced down at his watch. “The movie should be starting in about 45 minutes, let’s start finishing up here and then head over to the movie theater.” He paused, then added, “Unless you feel like going home for a night in?”

“What’ll we do at home?” you wondered, wiping your hands with a napkin. “I’d love to have a night in, if that’s what you want. As long as I’m with you, I really don’t care.”

His heart skipped a beat at your words, though the logical part of his mind stamped down any hope he had. Was he just a friend that you wanted around because you were lonely? It’d been a long time since his last serious relationship, but he couldn’t imagine diving back in with anyone else. He just hoped you felt the same. “We could just relax, maybe turn on some music and just talk.”

“I never knew that Javier Peña would be one to ‘just talk,’” you quipped, smiling at him.

“I can be, with the right person.” He shrugged, picking up the singular spoon and scooping up a bite of the flan. Its amber caramel sauce glistened in the restaurant’s warm lighting. Smiling softly, he held it up to your lips. “First bite is yours, hermosa.”

Taking turns eating spoonfuls of flan, you talked about things ranging from family to favorite animals. Growing up on a ranch, Javi’s favorite animal was a horse, sparking your questions about his life back in the States. You only knew the little bits of information floating around the DEA headquarters, and you wanted to know more.

At first he was hesitant, but then he told you about his father and how he’d grown up in a small town. You listened quietly as he told you about Lorraine, and how they were engaged to be married over a decade ago. His voice grew soft as he recalled all the wedding planning and shopping they did, and how their families had all converged to help out. Apparently, they’d been the talk of the town. It made you wonder if he ever missed her, or at least missed Laredo.

It was no secret that you’d come from an immigrant family, one rooted in traditions both good and bad. Well, good and bad by American standards, of course. You couldn’t deny that your parents had noticeably different views from the parents of your friends, nor could you deny that it gave you a window to your family’s heritage. No culture was perfect, free of discrimination, but you could always learn from it. All you could hope was that you weren’t too damaged or different to be with him.

“Is this how you get all your women to go home with you?” you teased, swirling the spoon in the pool of caramel. “You buy them dinner and feed them dessert before sweeping them off their feet?”

Javi shook his head. “Just you,” he replied, his voice like velvet. Shivers ran down your spine at the implication.

---

The drive back home was quiet, the two of you donning faint smiles in the darkness. You couldn’t stop thinking about what he’d said throughout dinner, the sweet words and touches. It was a different man sitting across from you, one that you normally only saw glimpses of previously.

You bit your lip and looked out the window at the passing buildings, hoping the cool night air would soothe the burning in your cheeks. What did his words mean? Why did he seem so embarrassed when the restaurant lady asked if you were his girlfriend? Were you truly just a work friend to him? If you were, why did he look at you like you hung the stars in the night sky? Why did he watch you with those dark brown puppy eyes that made your insides melt?

“We’re home, hermosa.” Javi’s voice interrupted your chain of thought as he pulled up to the apartment building. Before you could finish unbuckling your seat belt, he was opening the car door for you.

It felt like second nature to walk over to his front door and wait for him to unlock it. But something about it felt different this time, like it was more than just a friendly hangout on a weekend evening.

While Javi turned on a couple lights, you made your way over to his record player and flipped through his various vinyls. “Any music preference tonight?”

He flicked on a lamp. “Anything is fine, Y/N. Your pick.”

The sound of a familiar saxophone blared out from the record player, making him freeze.

You laughed at his startled expression and stopped the music before switching out the George Michael record for Foreigner. “Except this one? Don’t worry, Javi, I know what you like.”

Shaking his head fondly, he sat down on the couch next to you and watched as you scooted closer to rest your head on his shoulder. The lyrics of I Want to Know What Love Is filled the air as you basked in each other’s presence.

“What do you think you’ll do once we catch Escobar?” you asked. Realizing you just brought up work on a weekend, you cringed. “Sorry, you don’t have to answer that.”

Sighing, Javi shifted and replied, “I don’t know. I didn’t exactly let myself leave much behind in Laredo.”

“You have your father and your family ranch,” you suggested, playing with the blanket you’d draped over yourself. “And I’m sure you could find someone to be your sweetheart in the States. After all, you’ll be the man who took down Pablo Escobar.”

“And what about you?” he asked, rubbing his thumb over the back of your hand. He tried not to dwell too long on your assumption that he’d want to be with someone from Laredo when he could be with you. “What will the magnificent Y/N L/N do once this is all over?”

You shrugged. “I guess I’ll continue my work in the States. Maybe set up a research lab of my own to study other drugs. And maybe I’ll stop by my parents’ house and see if they’ve forgiven me.”

“Well, if you ever need somebody to tell them how great you are, you know where to find me,” he said, smiling shyly. You felt warm as he continued, “You’re an amazing agent, and an even better friend. Anyone who doesn’t see that can fuck off, in my book.”

You laughed softly at his boldness, even if you knew him well enough that he wouldn’t insult your parents to their face. It was the thought that mattered.

But as you sat there, your hand resting in his and your cheek on his shoulder, you couldn’t help but wish that you could stay like that forever. The early morning drive to work with Javi, the casual lunch breaks, dinners, and late nights all made you wish you were together. You rarely felt like you belonged anywhere, but in his apartment? In his car? His bedroom? You felt safer than you ever did back in your hometown.

“Thank you, Javi,” you murmured, your voice barely audible over the music.

“For what?”

For being there for me, you wanted to say. For seeing the best and worst parts of me without shying away. For making my coffee just the way I like it every day in the office. For staying with me after I woke up in the hospital. For having my back out on raids, and checking my vest to make sure I didn’t forget anything. For listening to me when I go off on tangents about my culture.

“Everything,” you answered softly. “For putting up with me, I guess.”

A smile graced your lips as he slipped his arm around you and pulled you closer to him. “Anything for you, mi amor.”

You furrowed your brow and looked up at him from your slouched position. “What did you call me?”

His soft brown eyes met yours, the outer corners crinkled just slightly as he gazed at you. You hadn’t realized how close you were until you could feel his warm breath against your nose. Your eyes trailed from his beautiful eyes down the curve of his nose to his plush lips. Up close, you could see the small crease in the center; it was as if he were perpetually pouting.

“Mi amor?”

Unable to resist the magnetic pull any longer, you and Javi met in the middle. Your lips slotted against each other, a soft sound escaping you as he cupped your cheek and kissed you fervently. His lips were softer than you’d imagined, his mustache tickled your upper lip. You could kiss him all night, if he let you.

Warmth bloomed in your chest as you moved to straddle his legs, hands wandering up from his chest to play with his brown locks. You’d always wondered what it would feel like to run your fingers through it, drawing soft groans from the man beneath you. You could feel the heat radiating from his body as you pressed yourself against him.

His arms wrapped around and held you close, the weight of his hand settling on your upper back. Your bodies fit together like puzzle pieces. You gave him one last kiss before pulling away for air, your noses brushing against each other. Smiling, you gave him a peck on the tip of his nose.

“Do you want to stay?” Javi asked, his chest rising and falling rapidly. His eyes searched yours for any sign of regret, of realizing that you’d made a big mistake.

You nodded and leaned in to press your lips to the crease between his brows. “I’ll stay as long as you’ll have me, cariño.”

He hummed softly against your neck, nuzzling his nose against your pulse point. “Is it too late to tell you that I really like you?”

“Maybe,” you replied, sighing as he sucked lightly at your skin. If he left a mark, Murphy would never let you live it down. But somehow, you didn’t care. You ran your fingers through his hair, making it stick up in some places. “But I’d rather you show me instead.”

The walk to his room was well-practiced from your days living with him, but knowing that he was following you made a shiver run down your spine. Everything about his bedroom was familiar, yet new. You wondered if you were dreaming, if this was just another cruel figment of your imagination after a long day of work.

“We don’t have to do anything tonight if you don’t want to,” Javi said, wrapping his arms around you from behind when you stopped at the foot of the bed. Your hands covered his, caressing his knuckles. “We could always wait.”

“I don’t want to wait.” You turned around and pulled him into a deep kiss, your hands sliding down to rest on his chest. “I want you, Javi.”

Translations:

“Hola Javier! Hace mucho tiempo que no nos vemos. Quién es ella, tu novia?” Hello Javier! It’s been a long time. Who is this, your girlfriend?

“No no no, ella es una amiga. Nos conocemos del trabajo.” No no no, she’s a friend. We know each other from work.

“Pues, no te molestaré, okey? Cuéntame si necesitas algo.” Well, I won’t bother you, ok? Let me know if you need anything.

“Hermosa” Beautiful

“Cariño” Sweetheart/darling

“Mi amor” My love

Tagging:

Permanent taglist: @cinewhore​ @randomness501​ @pedropascalisadilf​ @ahopelessromanticwritersworld​ @catfishingmorales​ @halfwaythereroyal​ @fioccodineveautunnale​ @talesfromtheguild​ @tortles​ @ladamari68​ @theokatcov @snivellusim​ @starryluce​ @inked-poet​ @this-cat-is-dea​ @shewritesandplants​ @chews-erotically​ @thefandomimagines​ @emesispo​ @mindless--ramblings​

Red Sunsets taglist: @engineeredfiction​ @reylo-hope​ @yespolkadotkitty​ @geistbuster​ @far-too-tired-to-exist​ @faiinal​ @promiscuoussatan​ @thewaythisis​ @earl-01​ @honestlystop​ @chaotic-noceur​

Let me know if you’d like to be added to a taglist!

[ohkissme]

Text Messages

Lauren: Wow.

Camila: What?

Lauren: Really now?

Camila: I don't even know what you're talking about.

Lauren: *sends link of viral video of Camila and Shawn making out*

Camila: What about that?

Lauren: Why would you post it?

Camila: I accidentally posted it and when I deleted it, somebody already had a copy and there's no point asking then to take it down lol

Lauren: so you're happy that it's trending huh?

Camila: Stop making a big deal out of it.

Lauren: I just hate when I see you making out with someone else. Well, you don't seem to care anyway.

Camila: Wow. You care. When was the last time that you cared about my feelings?

Lauren: I always did... still do.

Camila: I've tried thousand times just for you to get me back, always got rejected and now you're telling me that you actually care.

Lauren: I didn't reject you. You were the one that got away.

Camila: You still ignored me

Lauren: I didn't mean to

Camila: This is insane... why are you suddenly texting me now? Thought you 'unlove' me long ago already

Lauren: Stop assuming, Camila.

Camila: Then stop coming back and then leave whenever you feel like to! You're messing with my feelings and I freaking hate it!

Lauren: Are you in love with Shawn?

Camila: Why do you care?

Lauren: Yes or no?

Camila: Does it matter?

Lauren: Solo responde! Si o no?

Camila: Por que es tan importante?!

Lauren: I never stopped loving you. I just need to know if you're in love with someone else so I would know my place.

Camila: Estas bromeando... Stop making a fool out of me okay?

Lauren: I'm serious.

Camila: Why are you telling all of these now?! 4 years have passed! The video of Shawn and I had almost been a year and then I'm gonna receive a text from you saying you don't like seeing me making out with someone else just cause you still love me? Ughhhhh

Camila: You're making me feel crazy! Always did.

Lauren: You just have to answer me. Are you in love with Shawn?

Camila: If I was, would you ghost me permanently?

Camila: If I wasn't, would you try to win me back?

Lauren: I'd let you live your life and never bother you again if you were in love with him.

Camila: The truth? I can't be in love with him.

Lauren: Why?

Camila: Because I never stopped loving you either. Happy now?

Lauren: En serio?

Camila: Why would I joke about my feelings?

Lauren: I don't know...

Camila: You know, I've longed to be back in your arms but I'm afraid you no longer need or want me.

Lauren: Where are you?

Camila: I'm at home. Why?

Lauren: Silly. Are you in Miami? I am here too.

Camila: And you're planning on coming over?

Lauren: Don't have to say.

Camila: Shit.

Lauren: Por que?

Camila: En serio????

Lauren: Si. Hay algo mal?

Camila: No no no. Just that we were arguing earlier...

Lauren: I just really need to see you.

Camila: I hate you.

Lauren: You always do. I'm on my way. See you in a bit.

Camila: Damn you.

(Half an hour later)

Lauren rings the door bell.

Sophia: *gasps upon seeing planet green eyes* Milaaaaaa!!!

Lauren: Hi, Sophi! So good to see you. *embraces the 12 years old girl*

Sophia: *hugs back* Same to you. How are you? Why only visit now?

Camila: *getting closer* What? Woah... you were serious... *whispers*

Lauren: *smiles widely*

Sophia: *stares at the two and grins* I uh... I gotta tiktok. *leaves*

Camila: *immediately wraps arms around the taller one and sighs*

Lauren: *tightens embrace*

Camila: Tell me i'm not dreaming.

Lauren: *pulls away and kisses the shorter one on the cheek*

Camila: *whispers* Te quiero...

Lauren: *smiles and slowly presses her lips on Camila's and kisses her tenderly*

Sinuhe: *walks in and gasps and drops sandwich* Oh Dios mio! En tu habitacion por favor!

[cnc-hoebayb]

Nos cae la noche y tu me abrazas..

I forgot to post this yesterday oops

Lol but here’s my little part for this cute collab @quisieracnco helped put together, so if y’all haven’t checked out her nye hc go check it out it’s perfect. Also i know that @cncohdamn already made a lil chris imagine for this too and it’s literally the cutest so go check that out babes!!

So here it goes, some mad cheesy stuff for your NYE 😘

**Y’all gotta read this shit while listening to the live version of Fiesta en Mi Casa- no exceptio ns!

.

You fiddle around with the straw in your drink as you sit backstage waiting. The dressing room was far, but the music was loud, giving you little goosebumps as you faintly hear the final song. You smile to yourself, feeling that some energy you had every time you heard that guitar riff.

The crowd goes crazy closer to the end and you cant hear anymore, something good must’ve happened. More screams and cheering is heard continuously, the song must have just ended. You gather your things quickly, knowing you were all gonna make a run for it as soon as they left the stage.

The performance was gonna be broadcasted through the city, it would be on every billboard and screen as the clock hit midnight. So you were prepared for when the boys stormed into the room, grabbing phones, jackets, and snacks before heading straight out into the cold city air.

You felt excited, waiting for that final moment of the year always left you with so much energy. And as you start to wonder if the butterflies in your stomach can get any faster, you’re caught off guard by a sudden hand on the small of your back.

You stare up into esos grandes ojos cafés and watch as they focus onto you. “Ya estás emocionada?” He asks and you nod with joy, “you already know it,” his hand still not moving from its place.

Chris wasn’t afraid to get close and be touchy with you, you thought; but this - this was different. Something off about this kind of touch. His hand had found a spot on the side of your waist, almost pulling you in possesively as you speed walked through the city.

Your thoughts must’ve shown through your expression because at that same moment, his cheeks flushed a little as he justified himself. “Parece que tienes frío....”

You smile and let him keep holding on. He guides you through the streets until you finally make it to a heavily crowded area in the middle of the block. There’s lights and screens illuminating the scene and it starts playing from the beginning of the prerecorded concert.

The boys all start cheering, hyping themselves up from the crowd. Richard and Erick are jumping and dancing, while Zabdiel and Joel are beatboxing over the beat of the song. You look up at Chris and he’s beaming, his eyes full of light.

“Feels good, doesn’t it?” You nudge him with your shoulder. “It’s weird sometimes, but i like it yeah” he looks down at you and smiles one of those heartfelt ones you know he really means.

“Thanks for being here, by the way,” he looks at you sincerely, “you’ve helped us out a lot during tour too, i really appreciate all you do..”

“Aw Chris,” you respond shocked, not sure where the sudden sentiment came from. You had grown close with all the boys over the time span you’d worked with them, and it was easy. They accepted you not just because you were new, but because they genuinely liked spending time and having fun with you.

Chris would always find ways to remind you of that.

“I have a surprise for you..” he smirked and wiggled his brow, already back to his playful self. “Chris nooo,” you whined, “you know how impatient that makes me, you have to tell me noW!!” You jump up and down pulling at his arms, begging him to fess up.

“I’ll give you a hint,” he grounds you by placing a hand on your shoulder. “It’s something we’ve been working on lately.” You give him a mean look to express how much you hated that hint.

“Bro deadass what the fuck u mean,” you pout and he cackles like an idiot. “Guess you just gotta wait,” he turns away from you with a sly smile and watches the performance continue on the screen.

A few minutes pass and the set is almost over - meaning the year coming closer to an end as well. You watch as a few of the boys scope out the girls they’ve been eyeing to be their kiss. As they go up and work their flirty magic, touching hands to waists, whispering sweet nothings to these lucky girls.

“I’m surprised you’re not already out there with em,” you edge on Chris.

“Naw i already got my target planned out,” he says in a cocky tone and your heart drops a little. It wasn’t a secret your feelings for him had grown into something more than friendship. In your eyes he was perfect, everything was always so natural with him and you felt so comfortable, so how could you help yourself??

You nod solemnly and stare back at the screens, not wanting to make eye contact with him. The last song starts and your heart immediately skips a beat.

“Con tus caderas,

No necesitamos ni bombillos ni estrellas..”

A little smile creeps across your lips and you feel Chris look at you. “What is it about this song that even gets to you?” He laughs and questions. You shrug how you always did when someone asked you that.

“No sé, i just, me siento algo más de mi. Like I’m not even in my own body when i hear it, es como el cielo, like spiritual i guess.” He looks at you with his mouth wide open, defientely about to make fun of you.

“You sound like you’re high,” you nudge his shoulder and stick a tongue out. “I can’t believe you sing the damn song and don’t even get it.” You turn to him with a finger over your lips, “now shh i wanna listen,”

You close your eyes and feel the cold air against your skin, taking in every part of the music.

“Cuando estamos juntos el mundo se detiene..”

When you open your eyes back up you’re half expecting Chris to be gone, off to win over his notorious mystery girl for the night.

But your eyes flutter open and you’re shocked to see him standing there, closer than ever at your side. He hangs his arm over your shoulder and whispers “i think i know what you mean now, the way the song feels..” you nod with a smug look on your face.

He sways with you to the music and sings along when his part starts. You curl up into his arm, accepting it fully.

“Puedo ver planetas en el techooo” He sings to you playfully and you follow along.

“Hey that reminds me,” you start, “What the heck was everyone screaming about earlier, what did you guys do-“ he cuts you off with a hand on your mouth lightly.

“Shh, bebesita, that’s the surprise,” you lick his hand in retalliation and he wipes it off on your jacket.

Back up on the monitors you watch as the song breaks down to its last minute, the clock counting down as well. Your eyes light up as something new happens within the song. You scramble to look for Richard in the crowd as you hear it,

“Veremos lo que pasaa”

“ShiT!!” You scream and hit Chris’ arm. “You guys practiced, omg he did the high note,” he laughs and gently guides your head to look back up. “That’s not all,” he says and you’re lit up.

“Chris-“ you say unbelievably, “did you do it??” You refer to what you both knew what was about to happen. These little parts of the song were so new and so impactful, he had been too nervous to ever follow through live. His voice could do it easily, no doubt, it was just nerves holding back his full capacity sometimes.

He looks so excited and tries calming you down, “brooo just keep watching.”

You bounce to the breakdown of the beat and little bumps form on the surface of your skin - every time. The tension is in the air the closer it gets to what you’re expecting, and a mixture of the crowd around you counting down already.

“10

9

8”

The music goes,

“Seremos felices, eso dalo por hecho”

“5

4”

You grab onto Chris’ hand absentmindedly and he squeezes it back. His other hand instinctively grabbing onto the bottom of your jacket, slowly turning you to face him.

“Hay una fiesta en mi casaaaAaA”

“1..”

For some reason you feel tears swell up in your eyes. The essence of his voice continuing for what feels like forever. Every second of it resonates through your bones, in your blood, your soul, your whole being.

It’s everything you could want in this moment and you turn to Chris to say how proud you are of him and-

His lips crash to yours in a passionate mess. It’s an act of something that’s been building up too long, something that needed to be let go.

You give in to it, lost hopelessly under his spell. He’s soft and tender, everything you imagined this moment to be. You wrap your arms tightly around his torso and he holds your cheek.

It feels otherworldly, and you have no other motive than to make it last. The music rings through your head and everything becomes more magical. His lips press to yours in long intervals, each touch together has a million words behind it.

He tastes exactly how you imagined and you think that now you might be addicted. Slick lips part from each other and it feels like a movie scene.

Like you’re both in a little bubble that’s only meant for the two of you. Snow drizzles around the bubble and he holds you into his chest, rocking you as he sings lightly along..

“Nos cae la noche y tú me abrazas...”

The guitar feels like a lullaby while in his arms..

You smile and look back to him, humming along to his own harmony. You tip toe up and kiss him again, not wanting to ever stop. He giggles a little too humbly against you and you pull a strand of his hair to shut him up.

“Don’t ruin this,” you sass and he peppers your lips with soft fast smooches, holding your cheeks in his palms.

The music fades out from their perfect voices and nothing else matters. It’s just you, and Chris, and that perfect little bubble keeping everything stopped in time.