#The Wicker Man (2006)

[fanofspooky]

Scream King - Nicolas Cage

[six-demon-bag]

TJ MIKELOGAN'S HALLOWEEN 2024 EVENT | DAY 19: HORROR REMAKES

THE WICKER MAN (2006) dir. Neil LaBute

[adaptations-polls]

Which version of this do you prefer?

[forthegothicheroine]

Scattered thoughts on The Wicker Man 2006:

This felt in some respects like a bad production of a good play- it hits so many of the same beats as the original film, but it hits them wrong! 

The original Summerisle was creepy intermixed with seeming like a really nice, friendly, cheery place to live. The tension builds with each scene of the village doing something weird, but not necessarily wrong. In this film, Summerisle (excuse me, Summersile) is filled with sinister old women chanting “Yes, the wicker man!” and all but outright telling the cop what they want him to hear. Howie had to work to find out what they wanted him to know- that was part of his tragedy, that his own efforts doomed him. This film feels like the cult doesn’t trust their victim’s intelligence or skill as a detective so they have to spoon feed him every clue.

“This is like if the girl in Get Out said “I want to take you to my family’s experimental brain surgery party!” - my husband

Nic Cage is famously as good or bad as any given movie calls for, but when the whole cast is bad, it’s probably the director’s fault.

Yes, it’s misogynistic. Extremely so. A class full of girls and a line of pregnant women are both treated as scary sights in and of themselves. In many ways it’s reminiscent of Harvest Home, but the decent quality of that book overall made the misogyny offend me far more. Here it’s just goofy.

On that note, I wouldn’t normally think anything of a man punching an evil woman in a horror movie, but it feels like the movie wants me to feel a certain way about a manly man drop-kicking a teenage girl into a wall. But how does it want me to feel?

Sister Summersile isn’t given anywhere near Lord Summerisle’s charm or seduction; she’s just straightforwardly creepy. The whole point of the leader should be their charm!

There is a note or two of folk music during the procession, drowned out by the suspenseful soundtrack. COWARDS.

If our lead isn’t religious, let alone virginal, the line about “You have the opportunity to be a martyr” means nothing.

“Not the bees!” Yes, yes, it’s very funny, and the bees themselves are Birdemic-level bad CGI. But if they revive him with an epipen and then burn him anyway, what was the point?

“Our ancestors fled persecution in Salem!” Fuck you, movie.

This leads into one of my biggest criticisms of the film’s internal logic- the history of the cult. In the original film, Lord Summerisle’s grandfather created a Golden Bough-inspired “recreation” of ancient pagan traditions on the island; you can raise questions about how well that would work, but I bought it. But American white people don’t have ancient pagan customs. We all came over here long after Europe was Christianized. I would believe a New Age pseudo-Wiccan cult started a generation or so ago, or I would believe a Plain Folk pseudo-Shaker insular Christianity, but I can’t believe both at the same time. (I guess I should just thank god that it wasn’t portrayed as an evil Native American island...)

After all that, the end credit line “Dedicated to Johnny Ramone” was the last thing I expected.

[reviewsclown]

The Wicker Man 2006

So, famously not a good movie. having seen it now, I would agree. It's not atrocious or anything, not god awful with 50 kinds of bigotry it's just kinda, not very good. it /could/ be good, but it isn't. a main point is that, there's like 3 scenes where ed malus hallucinates a dead girl near water two of which he dives into the water and there's underwater shots that look nice, you think that'd have thematics or meaning to it but, not really? the most themes the movie has is that cult is like bees, everyone knows this. The set design was good I can't complain about that, well made props, the titular wicker man, cgi wasn't a huge deal back then compared to nowadays so makes sense. The acting wasn't bad? I had no complaints about it, Nic Cage was good as usual he said a few of his famous lines. "You tell me another and I'll arrest you myself, that is a promise! Miss... Rose." and "how'd it get burned" x4

rating: yeah you can skip this one with no skin off your back, if you have nothing better to do and you're with friends who have nothing else to do you can watch it but otherwise. I don't think this adds anything vital to your life.

[lyledebeast]

I'm feeling like maybe I should give the 2006 Wicker Man starring good ol' Nick Cage a try. I've been warned away from it as a fan of the original, but if it ends the same way . . .

[sweaterkittensahoy]

Every single decision Neil LaBute made in his remake of The Wicker Man was fucking terrible. Like, the absolute level of fucked it up cannot be stated.

[evmorfi-a]

فيلم The Wicker Man 2006 مترجم HD اون لاين

[thewarmestplacetohide]

Cryptic Commissions: The Wicker Man

I can be commissioned to do a mini review of any horror film of your choosing for $3/£2.36 on Ko-fi!

Remake of: The Wicker Man (1973) Year: 2006 Genre: Occult Rating: PG-13 Country: United States Language: English Runtime: 1 hour 42 minutes

Director: Neil LaBute Cinematographer: Paul Sarossy Editor: Joel Plotch Composer: Angelo Badalamenti Writer: Neil LaBute Cast: Nicolas Cage, Molly Parker, Kate Beahan, Ellen Burstyn, Leelee Sobieski

Summary: A detective searches for a missing girl on a pagan cult’s private island.

Review: A prime example of a remake that fundamentally does not understand what made its source material work, this is a dull, incoherent mess punctuated by occasional hilarity.

Overall Rating: 1/5

Story: 1/5 - Void of tension or scares, it exchanges the original’s commentary on the dangers of blindly following religion—be it Catholicism or paganism—for a weirdly sexist, plot hole-riddled mystery where Nicolas Cage punches a woman in the face while wearing a bear suit.

Performances: 2/5 - Most of the actresses give the same performance, as if the only way for a woman to be ominous is if she’s stiff, cold, and bitchy. Cage, meanwhile, comes off like an incompetent, hammy nutjob.

Cinematography: 3.5/5 - The movie generally looks quite good, with a strong framing and aerial shots, but it also feels just a little too polished and commercial.

Editing: 2/5 - Bizarre and unintentionally disorienting.

Music: 2/5 - Cliche.

Sets: 3.5/5

Costumes, Hair, & Make-Up: 2/5 - Some of it is serviceable but many of the islanders' outfits, meant to appear homemade and rustic, look like they came from a cheap party store.

Trigger Warnings:

Moderate but brief violence

Child endangerment and implied death

Misogynistic undertones

Animal cruelty and death

Insects

[fanofspooky]

Horror movies of 2006

[incorrectpepperann]

Oh no not the swans!! NOT THE SWANS!!! AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!

Nicky

[flora-bigs]

hatewatching the shitty remake of my fav folk horror by my least fav playwright

[marytylermoar]

The only thing the Wicker Man remake got right was casting a way hotter, more talented woman to play Willow.

[forthegothicheroine]

Something else about The Wicker Man 2006 that I forgot to say: the opening credits were in papyrus. I kept thinking about this skit the whole credit sequence:

[junkfoodcinemas]

JUNKFOODCINEMAS PRESENTS SO BAD IT'S GOOD JUNK: PART 2

Catwoman (2004) dir. Pitof

Jason X (2001) dir. James Isaac

Halloween: Resurrection (2002) dir. Rick Rosenthal

New York Ninja (2021*) dir. John Liu, Kurtis M. Spieler

The Wicker Man (2006) dir. Neil LaBute

Undefeatable (1993) dir. Godfrey Hall

Hard Ticket to Hawaii (1987) dir. Andy Sidaris

Maximum Overdrive (1986) dir. Stephen King

Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (1997) dir. John R. Leonetti

Suburban Commando (1991) dir. Burt Kennedy

[milfjagger]

horror recs 2024

categories are a little broad but take from it what you will. personal favs are in bold and a * next to the name means this movie genuinely scared me

serial killers/stalkers/home invasion the black phone (2021) the invisible man (2020) hannibal (series; 2013-2015) maniac (2012) american psycho (2000) the silence of the lambs (1991) opera (1987) tourist trap (1979) halloween (1978) deep red (1975) black christmas (1974) the texas chain saw massacre (1974) peeping tom (1960)

ghosts/hauntings talk to me (2022) the haunting of hill house (series; 2018) i am the pretty thing that lives in the house (2016) under the shadow (2016) crimson peak (2015) mama (2013) the orphanage (2007) lake mungo (2008)* dark water (2005) the ring (2002) the others (2001) the devil's backbone (2001) ring (1998)* candyman (1992) poltergeist (1982) the haunting (1963) the innocents (1961)

vampires interview with the vampire (series; 2022- ) midnight mass (series; 2021) let the right one in (2008) bram stoker's dracula (1992) near dark (1987) the lost boys (1987) fright night (1985) dracula (1958) nosferatu (1922)

werewolves dog soldiers (2002) ginger snaps (2000) & ginger snaps 2 (2004) the howling (1981) an american werewolf in london (1981)

demons/witches longlegs (2024)* smile (2022)* incantation (2022)* hereditary (2018)* suspiria (2018) veronica (2017)* terrified (2017)* pyewacket (2017)* the autopsy of jane doe (2016) the exorcist (series; 2016-2018) the blackcoat's daughter (2015) the witch (2015)* evil dead (2013) the exorcism of emily rose (2005) the blair witch project (1999) the craft (1996) hellraiser (1987) suspiria (1977) the exorcist (1973) the devil rides out (1968) rosemary's baby (1968) black sunday (1960)

survival horror yellowjackets (series; 2021 - ) the terror (series; 2017) rogue (2007) the descent (2005)* open water (2003)

sci-fi horror crimes of the future (2022) annihilation (2018)* the fly (1986) the thing (1982) alien (1979) & aliens (1986)

monster movies willow creek (2013)* troll hunter (2010) the host (2006) pumpkinhead (1988)

folk horror the ritual (2017)* wake wood (2009)* the hallow (2015) pet sematary (1989) the wicker man (1973) the blood on satan's claw (1971) night of the demon (1957)

fantasy/fairytale horror gretel and hansel (2020) red riding hood (2011) the juniper tree (1990) the company of wolves (1984) psychological horror (that doesn't fit better into another category) candyman (2021) the lighthouse (2019) us (2019) get out (2017) gerald's game (2017) a cure for wellness (2016) the invitation (2015) it follows (2014)* excision (2012) may (2002) frailty (2001) dead ringers (1988) gothic (1986) carrie (1976) cat people (1942)

indie/experimental (mileage may vary) enys men (2022) skinamarink (2022) bones and all (2022) men (2022) the house (2022) relic (2020)* saint maud (2019) mandy (2018) the wind (2018) raw (2016)

balls to the wall crazy/fun as hell evil dead rise (2023) fall of the house of usher (series; 2023) late night with the devil (2023) saw movies (2004-2023) the menu (2022) nope (2022) malignant (2021) escape room (2019) & escape room: tournament of champions (2021) run (2020) the chilling adventures of sabrina (series; 2018-2020) 31 (2016) the boy (2016) american mary (2012) repo! the genetic opera (2007) trick 'r' treat (2007) sweeney todd (2007) dead silence (2007) house of wax (2005) house of 1000 corpses (2003) final destination (2000) ravenous (1999) lair of the white worm (1988) brain damage (1988) the texas chainsaw massacre 2 (1986) re-animator (1985) & bride of re-animator (1990) evil dead movies (1981-1992) phantom of the paradise (1974)