#The Wan Ton Weekend

[iamprchung]

The Wan Ton Weekend

Yep, this fever-dream nonlinear narrative is back!

A long forgotten one-off that an awesome reader sought out and inspired the repost. Thanks @gloriousqueenfest!

Everyone enjoy the chaos that is Skinner/Scully!

Available on AO3

Synopsis: Scully’s weekend takes a wild turn when Mulder calls from Vegas with shocking news. What starts as a desperate attempt to stop his latest questionable life choice quickly spirals into a snowed-in misadventure featuring takeout, tension, and one very patient Assistant Director. A comedy of errors ensues—complete with misunderstandings, chaos, and maybe just a little bit of fate.

Notes: This is absolutely a Fever-Dream PWP (Plot? What Plot?) repost from the annals of X-Files SSR fiction.

I think this is the fluffiest excuse for smut there ever was. And this is written in a nonlinear narrative style that some readers may find confusing—but give it a chance.

And before I forget, because I do that frequently with these types of things, this symbol (that I hope shows up for most in this post) “福” is the Chinese symbol for “Good Luck.”

And I’m sorry – I have removed the use of the word “undulating” because—wow, could that get anymore cliché?

Music referenced and of note: Appropriately the Barenaked Ladies, ‘It’s All Been Done.’ Also ‘Pinch me’ by the same band seems appropriate as well but isn’t represented in the story.

Special Thanks: Paula and Tina (You know who you are)—your influence and beta recs are still all over this story, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. And a huge thanks to a long-time fan who sought this out and inspired me (lit a fire under my procrastinating butt) to clean it up and repost it.

Oh and that terrible cover art here is nothing compared to the original cover art... LOL.

The Wan Ton Weekend by PR Chung

January 15th Saturday Morning

"Hel..." her voice degenerated into a grotesque guttural gurgle upon answering the phone. She cleared her throat and tried again, "Hello?"

"Scully? Scully!" It sounded like Mulder, but the voice was partially drowned out by his own shouting.

"Mulder?"

"Scully, I had to call you, I had to tell you wonderful-fantastic news!"

"Okay..." she tried prying her eyes open, but it made her head hurt. She tried just opening one eye and it wasn't so bad. "What's the news..." she asked reading the time with her one good eye: two-thirty-six AM. "It's almost three in the morning..."

"Not here!" His voice peaked.

She sighed. "Mmm… kay, where are you?"

"I'm in Vegas…”

"Really?" She muttered slipping back into the fuzzy warm place she'd been swimming around in only a moment ago. "Did you get some kind of good holiday rate..." “I'm getting married!” he laughed excitedly. Scully frowned. “What?”

"Scully, listen, just listen," he was excitedly saying, "she's beautiful, she knows me- She's a Goddess!"

"Hmmm..." she murmured, "all right, I'll talk to you about it tomorrow... bye."

She clumsily pressed the off button and aimed blindly at the receiver cradle, missing. She was already drifting back to sleep before the cordless handset skittered to a stop on the hardwood floor.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 福 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Watch out for the seat belt-

"Whoa-"

Something large and very solid stopped her impending decent on the pavement. Half in- half out of the back seat of the car, Scully looked up into twinkling green eyes. Joel loomed over her, like a Gap ad come to life, supporting her weight effortlessly and grinning. He was obviously amused by her predicament.

"Careful there, Dana," was all he said and lifted her fully out of the car, placing her on the ground. He held onto her a moment longer, steadying her. Was she wobbling? Well, if she wasn't, her apartment building certainly was, she thought looking past him.

"Hey, walk her to the door," Michelle called over the sound of the car radio and soft bing-bing of the open car door chime.

Scully threw a half-baked glare back at her friend, embarrassed yet thankful for the extra help in getting this guy to the door. Maybe, finally, he'd kiss her. She'd thrown all her subtle and not so subtle charms at him, willing his attention- his full attention... But she was afraid she'd had a wee bit too much at the wine bar, and just maybe, perhaps, that wasn't so attractive.

"Mademoiselle?" He offered his arm to her, and she latched onto it happily. He shut the car door and lead Scully up the walk to the front steps of the apartments. She mounted the steps almost gleefully, but he didn't follow. Still clutching his rock-solid bicep, she nearly toppled backward when he stopped at the foot of the steps.

She turned and he was peeling her hand off his arm, almost finger by finger, appearing panicked by her resistance.

"Um," he grunted as he freed himself from her, "it's… been… a fun evening," he continued, backing away slowly.

"It really was," she agreed earnestly, starting back down the steps toward him, "maybe we could do it again sometime—"

He threw his hands up, she stopped. Then, self-consciously, he smiled and lowered them, saying, "Good night, Dana."

Nodding, she smiled thinly and hugged herself against the cold that was suddenly penetrating her coat and the warmth of the alcohol. "Okay, night."

She watched as he got back in the car, returning Michelle's wave as they drove away.

The taillight's red glow disappeared from sight, but Scully stood on the brick steps listening to the fading sound of her friend's car engine, her breath clouding the cold, still air. She remained there a long while, rummaging through the freeze-framed images of the night, wondering when exactly it was that she had gone past adorably tipsy and fell headlong into annoyingly drunk.

A cat crossed her line of vision, at first there were two, but once she squeezed her eyes open and shut a couple of times it was only one little tabby. She absently watched it snake around parked car tires, rubbing and sniffing things, doing cat things, until she found it no longer interesting and went inside to go to bed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 福 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He stood there in the half open doorway blinking back at her, confounded. "Married--" Skinner started, then went on with, "what?"

"Mulder's in Las Vegas and he's getting married." She declared perhaps a little too loudly.

Skinner frowned at her and seemed to sniff the air between them. "Scully, have you been drinking?"

Her mouth dropped open, aghast at his inference- then realized she had been drinking.

"No-Y-yes- Some."

"Scully," he sighed and leaned against the door to his apartment with unaffected casualness.

"Sir, we have to stop him... I don't think he knows what he's doing."

Skinner chewed at his lip.

"He's getting married." She stressed again.

"I'll congratulate him the next time I see him." Again, her mouth went slack. Skinner straightened, agitated. "All right, what do you want me to do about it?"

"I-I don't know... Help me."

"Why don't you get his friends," he gestured past her toward the hall, "those gunmen guys..."

"They don't answer." Her shoulders sagged.

"I didn't answer," he declared, emphasizing by placing a hand over his chest, "that didn't stop you from coming over here... Did you drive here?"

"I took a cab- But your phone was busy, and… I knew—I hoped you were here at least..." her voice was beginning to take on a sort of whimpering quality.

He cocked his head, started to say something, then changed his mind, saying instead, "I was on-line."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 福 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Oh my God!"

Her head felt like it was going to explode when she came straight up from the mattress into a sitting position. Her head was pounding, her mind racing. The vague recollection of Mulder's words doing a clog dance on the foggy fringe of what sobriety she had managed to hang onto.

The bedroom was black but for the eerie red glow of the digital clock, this only added panic to her already skewed perception of time and place. She jerked around looking at the clock: two-forty-eight. What time had it been? She racked her brain frantically trying to remember what time he had called, she knew she had looked at the clock. Had only a few minutes passed? Yes, yes, just a few minutes- She went leaping from the bed, her feet tangling in the bedding...

Shards of smart pain zipped through her knees as she picked herself up off the floor, cursing the bedding, cursing the floor. Not quite done cursing she snapped on the light and headed for the closet. She caught a leg in her jeans, she cursed some more and tore a nail on the zipper—

"Shit."

She had a sweatshirt over her head before she stopped to wonder what exactly she was doing.

It wasn't like she could just jump in the car and drive over to Las Vegas, now, could she?

"Damn," she hissed yanking the sweatshirt back off, taking her pajama top with it.

Bare from the waist up she collected the cordless phone from the floor and dialed Mulder's cell phone number. All she got was the recording again and again, the monotone and android-like voice telling her the customer she was trying to reach was—  Oh, hell, how many times had she been down this road?

She hit the speed dial programmed for the lair of the Lone Gunmen. The line rang twice before she realized she was half naked- She hung up abruptly. She couldn't talk to Frohike in this state, never mind that he couldn't see her- She just couldn't do it!

Jammies back on, she dialed again.

"Hello?"

Scully's heart stopped at the groggy sound of her mother's voice. She had hit the wrong speed dial number! Her mouth was moving rapidly but nothing was coming out. What to do! What to say-?

"Hello?" Now her mother was beginning to sound concerned. Oh, no, not scared even...

"Sorry," Scully dropped her voice so deep she nearly coughed, but managed to finish her baritone disguised apology, "wrong number."

The phone clutched in her hand, her heart racing, she squeezed her eyes shut against the queasiness in her stomach- the dizziness in her head. She took a quick breath, collecting her wits and dialed more carefully.

There was no answer.

How the hell could there be no answer? Weren't these three utterly nocturnal in nature? Weren't the three of them constantly on third watch- Okay, well, maybe not so much Byers, she rectified the presumption. He really seemed the most normal, the most reality-based of the three, with his neat and clean, socially appeasing appearance.

She plopped down on the bed blowing her breath out. Now who? Now what?

Her head felt like it was caught in an isolated whirlwind- localized just in her bedroom, just in the exact space her cranium occupied...

"Oh, why'd I drink so much...?" she whispered to the walls, holding her head.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 福 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He was just lying there, stretched out over the length of the sofa, asleep. His jaw slack with relaxation in contrast to the tension of his hand that was clutching the TV remote to his chest. His posture, his entire appearance suggested an evening of excess, although she could tell this wasn't the case. More of a night spent quietly surfing the web and twisting the heads off a few friends...

She glanced toward the desk and eyed the beer bottles glistening in the light of the television.

About six to eight friends...

Turning back, she let her eyes linger over him, hovering in absent thought over the place where his shirt had hiked up over his stomach... A flat... fuzzy... stomach. Was it as firm as it appeared? Or was that just gravity doing its thing? She had suspected at times, while in his office, that he was sucking it in every time he got up from behind his desk. He just had that look about him, like he was holding his breath... Could that have been for her benefit? Nahhhh...

Her eyes traveled over the length of his forearm, mesmerized by the thick fine blanket of dark hair, a physical feature sadly hidden by dress shirts. Her gaze followed the toned curve of his muscles. She cocked a brow, a mischievous notion striking her. A notion constructed from unfinished business earlier in her evening... Freeze framed flashes of her fingers being peeled off that guy’s arm... What the hell was his name again?

Skinner stirred.

Scully caught her breath, beginning a nervous little dance in place, knowing she should go but somehow not being able to pry her eyes off his body.

Too late—

Skinner opened his eyes, and her heart crammed itself into her throat.

Looking a bit dazed he glanced around until his focus fell on the television... without ever noticing the shape hanging motionless at his feet. Rediscovering the remote in his hand he reached out with it, shutting off the TV.

The room went dark. Scully took relief in knowing she was completely hidden now; all she would have to do is slowly start back stepping before he ran over her in the dark.

Step, step-

She saw him coming off the sofa, his figure blotting out what scant city lights there were beyond the balcony window blinds. As though magnetically drawn, he headed straight toward her— of course he had the advantage of knowing his way around his home in the dark, knowing the placement of his furniture- but Scully, on the other hand, did not.

Trying to get out of his way before the inevitable collision she back stepped quickly and immediately into the end table.

Aside from being aware of the rattle and crash of everything on the table, and the table itself tumbling over, Scully realized she was going down with it...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 福 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Scully, just go home," he told her without much ceremony. "He'll be fine. It's not like he's in any immediate danger other than one wicked headache in the morning..."

Her feelings of immediacy were beginning to wear off, or perhaps it was just the alcohol that was wearing off. She knew he was right; Mulder wasn't in any danger. Why had she been so panicked anyway?

"Can I use your phone?"

"Wha- Why?" More irritation seeped from him.

"Well, I told the cab not to wait."

"Don't you have your cell phone?" He didn't mean for it to sound the way it did. It was more concern for her safety, her ability to call for help if need be, rather than a reluctance to let her in to use his phone. But what he meant and what she had heard were obviously two very different things judging by her expression. "Fine... Yes, you can use..."

"No," she shook her head. "No, thank you. I wouldn't want to disturb you any further."

She plucked her cell phone out and held it up for him to see, then walked off unsteadily down the hall.

Without a second glance he shut the door.

Damn it.

His hand was still resting on the door handle, the guilt already starting to prick at his guts. Wrenching himself away he walked across the living room slowly, drawing a hand back over his head. He could have at least offered her a ride home... He glanced over to the desk, eyeing the empty beer bottles sitting next to the computer in a sad neat row. Perhaps he wasn't running around jumping to conclusions in the middle of the night, but he didn't believe he was in the best shape to be driving either.

He went closer to the desk, studying the computer screen for a moment, his thoughts no longer on the images tiled there. Somehow, letting a less than straight Scully stagger off into the night (the snowy night, he amended the thought with a glance toward the balcony) had deaden his interest in fake nudes of Shania Twain...

Damn.

He switched off the computer without going through the hassle of shutting it down and went to the balcony, sliding on his bare feet across the slick tiles, stopping himself at the rail short of going over the side. Recovering, his heart still thudding from the near miss, he looked down, seventeen floors to the street, searching for a sign and found, with a stab of responsibility, a tiny little red-headed figure huddled against the cold.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 福 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Snowflakes landing on her face, Scully glanced up at the high-rise, eyeing the sparse sprinkling of lit windows across its face and wondered for a moment if she should have done this. She turned back and looked at the cab driver, "maybe you could wait for me?"

"I will have to run the meter, miss lady." The dark man called back over the seat to her in a thick and ambiguously foreign accent.

She had already poured a fortune out, and her cash on hand was limited. "Um, okay, never mind."

She lingered on the sidewalk, peering up again at the building wishing she could stop swaying long enough to count up to his... Surely she would be able to figure out which of these hundreds of windows belonged to Skinner... She grabbed her head to steady it, stop the spinning, the pounding.

After the world was fixed again she headed off toward the entrance ignoring the fact that she was still wholly uncertain about coming here. He hadn't answered the phone either, but it had rung busy, so at least she knew he was home. But what was Skinner doing on the phone this late and for so long?

The line rang busy again even as she traveled up in the elevator.

She put away her cell phone, noticing the battery needed a serious charge.

Maybe he took the phone off the hook, she thought heading down the hall toward his door. What if he's taken the phone off the hook to get some sleep— What if he's got... company? She suddenly thought, her knuckles wavering just a hair away from knocking.

She bit her lip and forged ahead, rapping the door hard.

There was a long beat before she heard the tumblers turn in the lock.

She tensed, batting away the intense urge to shut her eyes.

The door came open on a man she might have never recognized in a line-up as her superior; without his glasses, bare foot and wearing baggy gray sweats and a faded navy tee shirt with stray threads jutting out from where there used to be sleeves and a jagged tear from the neckline down that created a "V" the manufacturer hadn't intended.

Staggered, her eyes widened.

He was scowling at her, but her eyes had roamed away from his direct gaze and lit on the hint of chest hair escaping the homemade V-neck.

"Scully, what are you doing here?"

She jerked her attention back up.

Taking him in on the whole, she swallowed hard finding that she really wasn't quite sure now why she'd come all the way over here in the wee hours of the morning and through the falling snow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 福 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ass over heels, she went with a "Whoop!" Crashing down, her feet flew up and she felt her foot smash something, and heard Skinner let out an undeniable "Oof!"

What in God's name had she kicked? She miserably wondered as she tried to pick herself up off the floor in the dark.

The lights came on— track lights running the length of the living room ceiling— like stage lights and she was the center attraction.

"Scully?" Skinner all but yelled, one hand still on the light switch across the room, the other cupping himself as though shielding them from further attack.

"I-I couldn't see when you turned off the television." She explained.

"Well, what the hell were you doing anyway?"

"I wanted some aspirin?" It came out more of a question than an answer.

He was staring at her as though he couldn't believe his eyes and she realized her tee shirt- his tee shirt- was hiked up around her thighs exposing the crotch of her emerald green panties.

She yanked the hem down, scooting back out of the wreckage of his end table.

"Watch out," he warned, suddenly coming toward her in a sort of stumble. "There's glass here-"

She just missed putting her foot right on the jagged piece of colored glass that had been a.. a candy dish or... well, something only moments ago.

"I'm sorry... I'll replace it."

Gingerly picking glass from the carpet Skinner shook his head, grunting, "I didn't like it anyway."

She looked at a shard she'd collected for him and wondered aloud, "what was it?"

"An ash tray."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 福 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Great."

She had only just started to dial the cab company's number when the battery died on the cell phone. She checked the lobby for a pay phone, there were none. Stuffing the cell phone back into her coat pocket she looked out the front doors to the bare street out in front of Skinner's apartment building, curious as to what her chances of a cab passing by were.

She went out and stood at the very edge of the awning, looking up and down the street through the falling snow. There wasn't a moving car in sight.

She held herself against the cold, analyzing what the hell could have been wrong with her- coming all the way over here when he hadn't even answered. Sure, the busy signal had told her he was home, but what had she expected, Skinner to eagerly start packing his bags?

She huffed at the stupidity her drinking had blanketed her in.

"Scully..." She turned to see Skinner standing in the doorway. He'd thrown on a jacket and loafers, no socks. "Just stay here," he said to her humbly, "it's too late to be crossing town."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 福 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Sir?"

She was at the door, softly knocking.

The cursing, the grunting had increased to the point where she could no longer ignore it and became concerned, suspecting he had gotten a piece of glass in his foot.

When there was no answer she called again through the door, "sir, are you all right-?"

The door came open. "Yes," he breathed, standing on one foot.

"You have glass in your foot, don't you?" she asked, eyeing his impression of a flamingo.

His breath left him in a low, long hiss of resignation. "Yes," he said refusing to make eye contact.

"Do you need help?"

Rather than nodding, wrought with indignation, he swung side to side and hopped back into the bathroom.

"Sit down," she needlessly instructed as she took the tweezers from him. He gave the toilet a leery glance, he didn't need to say anything. She sighed gesturing toward the tub, "sit there, then."

Looking unmistakably miserable with the situation he sat down, still making no eye contact.

"Which one is it?"

"The right," he answered propping his ankle across his left knee. First, before allowing her to see, he looked at the bottom of his foot, grimacing. "It's really in there."

Scully fit herself between the wall and his foot, leaning in to see what she could see, thinking how huge his feet were... You know what they say about men with big fee... Shut up!

She tucked her hair behind her ears and went to work. “Do you have any alcohol?”

“Haven’t we had enough tonight?” he cynically asked.

“Rubbing alcohol…” she explained opening cabinets in search of something to sterilize the tweezers. “Left side, I think…”

Coming back, she winced. "This is probably going to hurt a little," she warned him.

"It can't hurt any worse than when I put my weight on it."

He was wrong.

When she dug into the skin he'd already torn at trying to dislodge the shard he flinched, losing his already precarious balance and started to fall. Scully went to steady him precisely as he blindly grabbed for support. His butt slid off the tub side just as he latched onto her, his weight dragging her with him backward.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 福 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"How many?" She looked at him, striking a blank.

"How many aspirin do you need?" He asked her again, gesturing toward her with the open bottle primed to dispense pills.

"Just two," Scully answered, her jaw dropping immediately—she could have sworn that she saw his mouth move, saw him mock her. “Just two…”

"Tap or ice water?" He grunted, handing her the pills.

"Tap," she answered and watched him get a glass and draw the water.

He was really very gracious despite the way he was grinding out every question. He'd invited her into his home rather than let her cross town alone late at night. He'd given her his room for what was left of the night. Even giving her free reign over his dresser drawer with the instructions to wear what she wanted; she had carefully picked through the neat stacks of tees and sweats but only found a shirt long enough to cover her, no matter how she had tried (and she really had) his huge sweat pants wouldn't stay up over her tiny hips.

And what thanks had she shown for all his kindness— ogling him while he slept, crushing his end table and breaking his knick-knacks? It was no wonder he was growling like a big surly bear.

She could have always said no, she mused heading back upstairs to the bedroom.

Why hadn't he offered her a ride home? Too late for one reason, but more certainly because he too had been drinking. Drinking alone and in front of the computer. She climbed into the bed thinking of how really very sad that picture was.

Shifting in the bed, feeling out of place, and not so much uncomfortable but nervous. She was now lying in his bed, her skin against the same sheets his body touched. The sheets were crisp and clean, and this almost surprised her. She had known a few single men and their beds; the sheets were rarely changed if they were lucky or mindful enough to own a second set of bedding. The bedrooms were another story altogether; smelling of dirty clothes hampers or some obscure source of mildew. Skinner's room smelled good, like sandalwood or cedar, warm and inviting, maybe even a little mysterious.

It was all around actually; on the bedding, in the pillows, dusting the shirt she wore.

Her cheeks began to burn as she languished in the mysteries of Walter Skinner's scent, drifting sleepily down the stairs to the sofa, to his side...

A knock sounded at the door suddenly.

It was soft, unintrusive to the point that she believed he thought she was already asleep.

She said nothing, staring at the door in the dark.

A moment passed before the door came open slowly, soundlessly and Skinner's silhouette appeared, cut in the dull light from downstairs. Holding her breath, her body flushing with nervous anticipation, she watched him enter the room- come toward the bed... She caught her breath shakily, preparing for... And he kept going, right past the bed and into the bathroom.

When the lock clicked she sat up and hit the mattress, mouthing a curse as the light came on in there, slipping out under the door in a sliver. Dowsed desire turned to curiosity as she listened to the hushed sounds from in the bathroom: drawers and cabinets opening and closing, rummaging and shifting. Then, what had started quietly grew louder, the level carefulness dropping dramatically as the search, for whatever it was he was hunting, became more deliberate and concentrated.

Curses began slipping out from under the door.

Then, silence for the longest time.

Okay, well, she couldn't just listen like this, she decided and laid back down pulling a pillow over her head. Give the man some privacy for God's sake...

"Damn it!"

Scully came up off the bed again at the sound of the curse.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 福 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A tangle of arms and legs, struck at inconceivable angles, Skinner and Scully tumbled into the tub. He caught the full brunt of Scully's weight atop him, his head going back from the force, smacking the tiles hard.

Once the initial shock wore off, he groaned dully.

Scully could fell the vibration of his voice, it was hard not to the way she found herself pressed between him and the tub side; her nose smashed into his armpit, her shoulder twisted down and half under his weight, her left leg still over the tub side while her right was shoved precariously close to his crotch pinned by his thick thigh. Although not entirely an unpleasant experience, pinned against his body this way, except for his arm pressing into her ribs like she was lying across a telephone pole.

She realized extrication was a must... and it wasn't going to be a simple matter.

"Pull..." he started to say as they began to work together on this puzzle, "no, can you just...?"

He was trying to scoot back and help her up, but there was no leverage to be found.

"You... turn toward me," she instructed hopefully.

After a great deal of grunting and struggling, attempting a good deal of care not to pinch, squeeze or otherwise injure (or offend) either of them, Skinner could clearly see only brute force was going to do the job.

"Hold on," he warned.

She hesitated, leery of what he was about to do. "Okay," she timidly answered.

He as well was hesitant, aware of the dangerous proximity of her knee to his genitalia. If he wasn't precise, if he didn't calculate his move just right...

Prudence abandoned, he heaved himself toward her, turning on his side. The move shifted Scully onto her back, jarring her teeth and sending her left foot into the air- slapping the shower handle full to C!

Ice cold spray blasted them, Skinner taking it full in the face while Scully caught it through-and through over her back and butt. Gasping, shocked, a living exhibition of approach avoidance, they scrambled clumsily away from the icy deluge while at the same time kicking at the handle together. Somehow, more luck than accuracy in aim, Skinner caught it just right and the glacial rain cut off.

The drain drained and the shower head dripped its last drip. What seemed the length of eternity passed in silence; each sound amplified a hundred-fold.

She was soaked.

He was soaked.

Scully fought off shivers, almost afraid to look up at him.

His face was covered with wetness, droplets of water beaded on his bare scalp rolled down over his creased brow and into his eyes. Squinting, he licked the water from his mouth and said, "Just one less thing to do in the morning."

Her laugh came out in a robust burst.

"You had this planned, didn't you?" He accused her, beginning to laugh as he reached up to wipe water from his eyes.

"What?" She laughed.

He shook his head, a broad, unconditionally uncharacteristic smile spreading across his mouth.

"This reeks of a scheme..."

She giggled, a motion that set her body shuddering against him.

His smile suddenly waned and she slowly stifled her merriment. He looked down on her, his eyes growing dark and fixed. She felt his leg pressing more firmly against the cleft between her legs and caught her breath, thrown by the intense response.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 福 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"...Mid-level disturbances over this area, so we won't be seeing a change for at least a while."

The weather report wasn't promising.

It was downright awful, but Dana Scully had nowhere she needed to be- except for right where she was.

She stretched herself long and hard, luxuriating in the coolness of the sheets against her bare skin, delighting in the cause of her soreness, her exhaustion. Nowhere, she thought again and rolled herself up in the bedding, turning from the television to the window. Nowhere at all but right here, she smiled seeing the morning light creeping through the blinds.

"You better not be asleep." She turned back seeing Skinner coming into the bedroom, balancing a plate of- what all she couldn't tell in the bad light.

"I'm not," she grinned and sat up, watching him come around the bed, high stepping clumps of shed clothes and discarded towels. She reveled, watching him stroll before her, magnificently bare, seeing full well that he did not have to suck it in.

He stopped suddenly and seemed to hop sideways, as though he'd stepped on something unexpectedly.

"What is it?"

He searched the floor in the dark for a moment, and then said, "I think I'm going to need to have my carpets shampooed."

Scully covered her mouth, but the laugh came out through her fingers. "I'm sorry."

He blew his breath out. "Takes two to tango," he chuckled, climbing back in bed beside her, careful not to spill the contents of the plate. "I hope left over Chinese is all right."

His feet were cold, and she jumped when they touched her leg under the covers.

"Sorry," he apologized handing her a fork and napkin. "The kitchen floor is like ice."

"Just like the rest of the area," she said around a cheek full of what she thought was Orange Chicken and pointed toward the TV. "Weather channel says it's only going to get worse before it gets better."

"The weather channel always says that" he replied, intently trying to load his fork with fried rice. He carefully brought it to his mouth, cupping one hand beneath the wobbly heap- only to have the rice cascade into his lap a hairbreadth from his lips.

"Let me get that for you," she said putting her fork down and taking the plate from him, smiling mischievously as she leaned over toward the spill.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 福 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He considered her for a drawn instance, a low hum escaping him, a sort of "hmmm," as if he were pondering what it was going to be like, relishing in the anticipation, resisting the fascination.

Water dripped from his chin onto Scully's lower lip.

Slowly, with full eye contact, she flicked her tongue out and lapped it away, tilting her head back, her chin up.

What more invitation did he need?

Something snapped- all good sense- wisdom and care tossed aside...

Startling her, appearing more to fall rather than making any controlled descent, Skinner covered her mouth with his, stealing her breath away. She moaned in sweet surprise and heard him echoing her sound, feeling his weight press against her, his fingers plunge into her hair.

She gathered herself up closer to him, fretfully freeing her arms from under him to throw them around his neck. His fingers tangled in her wet hair, his palm pressing against her scalp urging her more deeply into the kiss, his tongue parting her lips.

Urging was needless, her entire body was singing.

In a furious sudden gesture, he drew back, rearing up onto his knees, his back straight, his torso stretched and towering over her as he yanked his shirt off. He threw it wantonly from the confines of the tub, looking after it as it hit the floor, then back down at Scully. There was a deranged look in his eyes and his mouth- his jaw, was working in his furious deliberation to continue.

With singular strength she never believed herself to possess, Scully lifted her torso and peeled the wet tee shirt off over her head. Dropping the garment over the tub side she left her arms up over her head, stretching her body out before him, arching her back and thrusting her pelvis into his groin, offering herself fully.

"Hmmm?" She questioned him, her eyes half lit and beckoning him.

A brutish growl issued from deep in his chest, his answer his hands dropping onto her stomach, his fingers raking down across her hips and hooking the band of her panties...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 福 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Again, with the "Oof!"

Scully straightened and could have sworn his eyes were crossed. Some dark mischievous part of her nearly laughed at the sight.

Misjudging distance, Skinner reclined perhaps a little quickly, a bit too eagerly accepting her offer to clean up the spill of rice in his bare lap and promptly banged the back of his skull against the headboard.

"God," she declared just looking at him dumbly, "are you all right?"

He rubbed his head, blenching.

"Couldn't be better..." he replied and after a moment he looked at her with a wry smirk, "but I think we need to begin immediate medical procedures to reduce swelling..."

"Really?" she grinned, and without breaking eye contact began to caress the inside of his thigh.

He scrunched down into the bed, closing his eyes and taking a shuddered breath as her fingers traveling lightly over his skin and brushed ever so softly over his hair, teasing every she passed over.

Blood coursing, he began to throb and reacted to the sensation by thrusting his hips up with the desperate hope of making full contact with her hand.

"Hold on a second," she abruptly said, suddenly taking her hand away and turning from him.

Complete and unendurable frustration overwhelmed him. "What-Where are you..."

"I've got to get rid of this plate before we're rolling in Moo Shu..."

"I've already got rice all over me, what difference does..." he broke off, she was already off the bed, clearly not listening to him.

He blew out a tremendous gust of air, feeling like he would explode.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 福 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The bathroom mirror reflected their frenzied dance, and they liked the quick, transient snatches they caught of their own images; clumsy and bungling scrambling, groping and grabbing, sordid and guileless- the starved served a feast.

Interruption came but once when all but the sink faucets were savagely cleared from the counter top, swept aside— a shower toiletries clattered to the floor.

Scully squeaked; the countertop cold against her bottom when he deposited her up there. Her legs spread and wrapped around his waist, her hands roamed his back with rash swipes, her fingers digging into his flesh in anxious response to his fiery touch. She rubbed herself against him, realizing it was his stomach she was slicking her juices and tried lowering herself as much as the counter allowed.

"Wait," he breathed prying his mouth from hers, his hands from her breasts.

He grappled with the band of his sweatpants, trying not to put his full weight down on his foot- they hadn't quite gotten around to getting the glass out, exactly. Fevered, she reached down to help free him, working blindly with her face buried in his chest, her hands tangled with his.

Maybe a little too anxious, she jabbed him with a thumb nail in the process of stripping him bare, causing him to jump and take a step- pressing the sliver of glass home.

Yelping, hissing, he brought his foot up and hopped back trying to catch hold of the door jam.

Scully covered her face, unable to bear watching him fall out the door, his sweats pulled down around his knees. Once she heard the thud, the unmistakable sound of his full weight hitting the floor, she jumped off the counter to her feet.

"I think someone's trying to tell us something..." he panted, flat on his back and staring up at the ceiling, his exposed erection struck up like a spire.

She looked at it in light of the bathroom; thinking the only thing missing here had been a “boing!” sound effect.

"I can't hear anything," she whispered, dragging his sweats the rest of the way off before slithering along his outstretched body. "How's your foot?" she asked him and deliberately let a breast graze the dew dolloped head of his penis.

"What foot?" he muttered reaching down to capture her under the arms and hauled her fully atop him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 福 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rice brushed from himself and the sheets, his brief consideration to take matters into his own hands was interrupted as she collapsed into the bed beside him. Without hesitation, leaving no room for any further interference, he gathered her up in his arms and rolled over, pinning her beneath his weight.

He heard her catch her breath for the umpteenth time, the sound propelling his excitement, invigorating his want.

He bathed her neck with impatient kisses, plunging down over her collar bone to her breasts, first flicking at her nipples with his tongue then suckling as he wedged his knee down and eased her legs apart. He slipped a freed hand between them, touching her, slicking his fingers in the wetness, tracing the sensitive skin surrounding her folds, feeling her body instantly react.

Gulping in air, she strained against his weight, trying to rock herself against his fingers.

He satisfied her desires, separating her, slowly exploring, seeking and learning the map of her body, the places he would touch that caused her to shudder.

She caught her breath, and he knew; beneath his fingertip, hard and like the tinniest, he brushed and pressed, in rigid circular motions. Alert to her every breath and motion, he increased and decreased the pressure, savagely keeping her on the brink of orgasm.

"Please," she begged him, her body writhing with blind yearning. "I want you in me so bad..."

Hearing her breathy plea, the nastiness of her statement, he groaned as a whole new level of arousal surged through him. "You're so wet..." he exclaimed, dragging ragged breaths in as he positioned himself between her legs, almost unable to see straight.

She had already opened herself to him, pumping herself upward repeatedly, rocking her hips. "Fill me up again, please..."

"Oh, Christ..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 福 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

January 16

Sunday Evening

The snow had stopped falling, but the melt was far off...

The balcony enclosure was packed full of fluffy white that blanketed the city. According to the news the airport could reopen soon, flights were delayed of course, but at least people would be able to get back into DC if they had so desired to travel during the three-day weekend- those lucky enough to have Monday off...

* "... You were right, I was wrong. You said good-bye, I said goodnight...

It's all been done. It's all been done..." *

Music was blaring from in the living room.

Scully had the stereo turned up high and was dancing around the furniture carelessly.

Skinner had come out of the kitchen ready to scold her, demand her to lower the volume- God knew he'd had enough happen in this apartment to piss the neighbors off- but seeing her flinging about in his dress shirt, bare buttocks exposed with every twirl, he just couldn't bring himself to do anything other than go to her.

Nearly forty-eight hours together without a break, out of control and not giving a damn about the consequences, and her ability to ignite his hunger with a single word or gesture had not diminished

* ".... It's all been done. It's all been done!" *

He heard those lyrics and thought how nothing could have been more appropriate for the occasion, as he glanced at the hand cuffs dangling from his right wrist, then, his bareness, unable to remember exactly when he'd had clothes on the last time this weekend.

It had been too long for the two of them, that fact was more than obvious. They had gone beyond good judgment, thrown all caution to wind and had some of the best sex he could remember ever even contemplating. Good, fantastic, ungoverned, gleeful all-over-the-place, rug burn, clear-the-kitchen-table, chafing, leave-your-DNA-sample-at-the-door sex.

He caught her around the waist from behind in mid twirl, spinning her the rest of the way around, pulling her to him and kissing her in a motion so fluid, so natural, it surprised him.

She swayed in his embrace, returning the passion, her tongue exploring his mouth with all the delight of their first kiss, tasting him as though for the first time. An overwhelming sense of renewed longing rapt her, and perhaps it was that all the eagerness, the unbridled impetuosity gradually tapered and left between them unhurried tactile study, a savoring of the kiss that had suddenly taken on a decidedly tender and compassionate bearing.

* "If I put my fingers here, and if I say "I love you, dear"..." *

Something changed then. A tug, a pull, a touch, a caress... Something shifted, and all the wildness disappeared.

They parted, gaping and staring at one another, shocked and dismayed. In an instant the unpleasant knowledge that their time together was coming to an end passed between them. He touched her face, traced the curve of her neck and chin, feathered his fingers over her cheeks and brushed her hair back from her face, searching her eyes, studying her face as if to memorize every nuance.

She sighed softly and closed her eyes, enjoying his touch... until the handcuff clipped her clavicle. She shrunk away, whimpering against the unexpected pang.

"I've got to get these off before the delivery boy gets her," he told her, smoothing over the area the cuff had hit.

"He won't be here for a while in this weather," she said and grinned as she coaxed him to the floor with her.

She laid back flat on the floor looking up at him with a smile. Fumbling against the dangling cuff he worked to unbutton her shirt. Finished, he drew back the folds slowly, baring the smoothness of her torso, the fullness of her breasts, the cinnamon tuft of curls covering her inviting mound.

Her skin tingled with pleasure and anticipation as he ran his hands languidly over her stomach, her ribs. Closing her eyes, she moaned softly when he reached her breasts, pulsations coursed through her lower body, stifling her breath. Sightless, instinct driven, her hands went to him, passing over the incredible heat of his body, lavishing in the feel of his skin against her palms, the tickle of soft hair that trailed up his stomach, the texture turning coarse as she reached his chest and the well-defined swell of his pecs.

Enraptured, she inhaled sharply, feeling him slipping his hardness torturously slow over her, flirting penetration, slicking up and over her, discharging through her a fierce jolt of pleasure. She surged up, thrusting her hips toward him, sensing him trying to back away, knowing he wanted to make the moment last, but she couldn't wait.

Surrendering, he dipped into her, filling her, pushing deep inside. She was burning him up inside her, swallowing his strength as she constricted her muscles around him, drawing him to the brink of climax. Needing her to join him, wanting her to climax with him. As if sensing this, she reached down where they had become one, stroking herself, equaling his rhythmic strokes within her.

Staggered, half moans issued from her throat as she tilted her head back, feeling the wave of tightness beginning in her stomach, the seizure crawling through her insides, drawing the muscles of her vagina so taut for a brief moment she felt as though she could lose control, the sensation so intense.

Concentration shifted to a perverse level as they surged together, driving each toward orgasm with more forceful thrusts, matching the harshness of their ragged breathing. Paralyzing in suddenness Scully felt herself succumbing. She gasped in response to the twinges, the liquefied heat of him pumping his orgasm deep inside her.

His strength drained he collapsed over her, finally lowering his torso from its rigid up right position, bracing himself on his elbows. The sudden move caused him to slip from her and sent a shudder through them both. He buried his face against her neck, his breath was hot across her shoulder. She shivered as little aftershocks raced through her.

He muttered something and despite the closeness of his mouth to her ear, she couldn't understand him. "What is it...?" she wheezed a little, her hands absently messaging his shoulders and back, perspiration across his back cool to her touch.

He lifted his head just enough to speak, his voice spent, "I said, what have you done to me?"

Feeling flattered, she offered a breathless giggle in response and ran her fingers over his head, feeling the perspiration on his bare scalp, the dampness along the sides as she raked through his closely cropped hair.

She was beginning to sense a possible rug burn along her spine and tail bone when he finally lifted his weight from her and rolled to his side facing her, still touching her body with his. They laid together content and tried to ignore the stereo blaring music through the living room around them. For the moment this was their private oasis, a patch of earth untouched by any other than themselves—

Rambunctious, cop-like knocking suddenly erupted through the front door.

That was, of course, except for the delivery boy.

Invigorated with a new energy, Skinner came off the floor as if caught in the act- well, nearly- snatching the throw rug from the easy chair, wrapping it around him as Scully sat up pulling his shirt back together over herself. "Where's my wallet..." he began muttering, hunting blindly around without his glasses.

"The kitchen bar- the counter thing," she stammered and pointed toward the dining area. "Over there, I think."

He staggered forward, his legs quivering as he called toward the door, "just a minute!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 福 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When the door came open he wasn't quite sure what to think, or say for that matter. Was there really anything he could say?

The epitome of disheveled, Walter Skinner stood in the open door looking back at Mulder with what hair he had standing straight out from his head as though he hadn't combed it all weekend, a throw rug precariously wrapped about him and a wad of money clutched in one outstretched hand that just happened to be sporting a set of cuffs.

Mulder stared back at his superior, awestruck.

"Uh," he said trying to process this quickly, get past it even quicker, "I've, uh, been trying to call you since Saturday, but your phone's been busy."

“I’ve been on-line." Skinner shot back, unruffled- outwardly.

"For two days?"

"I was downloading a big file."

“Must have been some big file…”

"Do you have enough mone—" Scully appeared and jumped, her question bitten off at the sight of Mulder just past Skinner's arm. Dumbly, she actually jumped back behind Skinner for an instant, hiding from her partner.

Mulder took a step back, a lop-sided grin smeared over his mouth. "I guess this answers that—"

"Mista' Skinna'," a voice came from behind Mulder and made them all jump.

A fresh-faced young Asian man poked his head around the corner, grinning immediately and holding up a huge brown bag. "House of Wang," he announced.

"You got that right," Mulder muttered.

Skinner shoved money at the delivery boy and snatched the sack from him.

"Lots of extra wonton for you, Mista' Skinna'," he declared graciously and started counting the money. "You’ve been very good customa' this weekend."

"This is wrong on just so many different levels..." Mulder muttered, shaking his head at the scene playing out before him.

"Thanks.. thanks a lot." Skinner's cool facade was beginning to crumble as he handed the bag off to Scully still cowering behind him.

Pleased with his tip, delivery boy gave them all a quick salute and was gone.

The silence stretched to the breaking point between the three of them before Scully finally poked her head out form around Skinner to ask Mulder, "Did you get married?"

He shook his head, shifting his gaze between them for so long that Skinner was ready to shut the door in his face if he didn't say something soon— Then, finally, shaking his head, Mulder pursed his mouth a thoughtful instant before he told them with an air of whimsical denial, "there's just really no good way to end this, is there?"

Skinner shook his head. "No."

Mulder nodded, thoughtful. "I guess if I say 'I'll see you at the office' that would only intrude on this situation?"

Scully nodded, hugging the delivery bag. "Yes," she said.

Mulder nodded, reflective, then, stepping back from the door, smiling as he went, he said, "enjoy the wonton."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 福 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~ Done. Over. Fin. ~~

~~ A crack PWP production by PR Chung ~~

[charmwasjess]

So, let's say George Lucas was more self aware producing/directing the prequels and hired you to reign him in/keep him on track. How would the prequels be different?

What a fucking FUN question. :D I've been chewing over this in my inbox for a couple days.

Honestly you couldn't pay me enough to write for Star Wars, and that's not just because I'd be fired on my second day for making it so gay. I think there absolutely are problems in the prequels, but I also think no matter what films they made, it was going to be a difficult tango of trying to keep an existing fanbase happy while attracting new ones, doing the old story homage but also not just retreading stale territory, and the fact that an entire generation came up with headcanons for what the Clone Wars or young Obi-Wan or Vader was like in that era, and no matter what you do, someone was going to be disappointed.

I also have a ton of sympathy for Star Wars writers in general - I see stories like Mike Chen who wrote the Brotherhood novel having to get the book together in three months over 11 drafts or the Rebels writers working unpaid nights and weekends to try to land the story they loved decently because they weren't given enough time or money. I don't know what it's like to write or create content for Lucasfilm, but I can't help but think of Warren Fu, who created the iconic General Grievous design for Lucas, later drawing himself as Sifo-Dyas being drained of blood to create Grievous. The metaphor he chose there is, um, interesting, to say the least, and I wonder how it reflects on his time at Lucasfilm. I see these anecdotes all the time of writers and creators working incredibly hard for little money or recognition and then their passion project gets changed or sidelined by the powers that be within the franchise.

ANYWAY THAT SAID HERE'S HOW I'D FIX THE PREQUELS- I think it's really a matter of redrafting what's there because so much of it is really good and has great potential. I just rewatched the Phantom Menace, so that's on my mind. Yeah, I remember being little enough that Jar Jar Binks was funny to me - I love Ahmed Best - but having just rewatched it, Jar Jar gets a ton of screentime and that could be better balanced. AND oofa-doofa, the racist accents/stereotypes. Cut cut cut. Rework.

Otherwise, I think there's a tendency - and some of it was the popular movie tropes at the time the films were going out - to rely on Idiot Plot. OOPS, Anakin didn't mean to go to the big space battle!!! He just won the day on accident!! To a lesser degree, many other characters make it through the movie by just sort of guessing and lucking their way into it as a narrative choice. Just going by the fact that the films need to be about the good guys losing because it's a prequel for a saga with no Jedi, I'd like a little bit more agency for them. More moments of saying "yes, I want to do this" and less "wow, what the hell is going on?!"

The other big change I'd make is give Obi-Wan a much larger role in the Phantom Menace, and Padme a bigger part in both AotC and especially RotS. (Actually, she really kicks ass in TPM. That moment where she shoots through the window and the duel of the fates music swells? Ascension guns!! I'm getting goosebumps just thinking about it.) I think Anakin is the most sympathetic when he's seen through the eyes of characters who love him and vouch for him. And Obi-Wan is honestly barely in TPM - it's all Qui-Gon, who I love, but I could see the film being really successful through him as our perspective/focus character instead. The way that Luke Skywalker takes us with him on this adventure and shows us the story. Obi-Wan could do that very effectively. And as much as the prequels are about Anakin's fall, they're also ultimately a story of Obi-Wan's survival.

And I'd cut Count Dooku, for no reason other than I don't like how weird I got about that guy.

[archivewriter1ont]

Results from the WIP Poll!

I got A TON more votes than I was planning on in this but that's perfectly alright with me because *more mandated writing time.* 😁 According to the poll results, this weekend I need to spend....

190 minutes on Glory and Honor (Cody and Obi-Wan multichapter)

90 minutes on Uncle Echo: Adventures on Pabu

40 minutes on The Bad Batch Four-Episode Novelization (From TCW Season 7)

 70 minutes on A Brother's Touch (Echo's New Hand) one-shot

40 minutes on If This Ends in Fire (Let Us Burn Together) Cross and Echo multichapter

30 minutes on Tale of Two Snarks Chap. 10: How Echo Got His Droid Suit

10 minutes on Must Have Been Nice (To Exist Before This War) Tech and Romar one-shot

150 minutes on Protect Them: Echo's Rage (basically Echo losing his crap over hurt bros)

100 minutes on Echo and the Cadet Batch (ongoing WIP)

The poll option I was most surprised see being chosen was definitely Glory and Honor. I think I've only mentioned it once on here as a WIP, even though I talk to my Batch Bestie about it all the time. So I'm very excited to start working through the voted minutes for that one!

Thanks to everyone who voted, and stay tuned for the updates I'll post over the weekend with sneak peeks from the ones I can't complete entirely and the links to the ones I can!

[ladylucksrogue]

#5 and #17 in the writer asks! :D

Thanks for the ask @impossibleprincess35 😊

5. Do you have any writing superstitions? What are they and why are they 100% true?

If I actually post a deadline or write that I will update on a certain day, it absolutely won't happen...it never fails and then I feel guilty. Sometimes I'll have weeks where I have plenty of time to keep my writing time on the weekends and I'll write a ton. Other weeks I'm so busy with work that I don't have time to breathe much less write and I spend my writing time sleeping because I'm just done. This past month has been exactly that unfortunately.

17. Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text.

Well...my current WIP is Per Ardua ad Astra, my Obitine year on the run story. Fun fact...the title came out of desperation, I was so excited to post the first chapter and was frantic to find a title. Somewhere in stressing about it, I literally saw the inspo in the mirror. I have that Latin phrase as a tattoo. It means through hardship, to the stars. It seemed fitting, so I ran with it. As far as the story, I was aware that it may not be everyone's cup of tea with delving into all the politics, but it was something I wanted to see. I want all those messy details on top of an action adventure story. I wanted elements like hurt/comfort, the whole slow burn, I want to explore not only Obi-Wan's dynamic with Qui-Gon but also Satine's dynamic with him. I want to show that Qui-Gon is sometimes flakey, that he's far from perfect, that he's kind of a mix between a wise sage and an irresponsible hippy dad but deep down he means well. He tries. I want to delve into both Satine and Obi-Wan as characters and get in their heads. I want to show the real elements of hardship they went through being on the run, how everyone is totally out of their element, they are facing lack of funds, hunger, fear, etc. Satine grew up in a palace, Obi-Wan in the temple, compared to most of the known universe, they are pretty privileged and I wanted to put them in situations that put them genuinely out of their comfort zone. I have future scene in mind that really shows that, where there are elements of sort of writing an au within an essentialy canon story, and forcing characters who have no idea of how things like getting a manual labor job or paying rent actually works. I want to have cool cinematic action sequences. I really could go on and on...

Sometimes when I look at my outline, I feel like I have bitten off more than I can chew, but at the same time I am having a lot of fun writing it.

[cleverhottubmiracle]

In 2021, 46-year-old Kumail Nanjiani famously transformed himself from the soft-bodied uber-nerd he played in Silicon Valley to the super-ripped superhero Kingo from his Marvel movie debut, Eternals. While some actors do intense physical prep for parts only to backslide after shooting wraps, Nanjiani made his gains stick. With a change of physique has come a change of roles, including his more, well, muscular parts as a rebel in the 2022 Star Wars mini-series Obi-Wan Kenobi, strip club pioneer in Welcome to Chippendales (2023), and a Ghostbuster in 2024.In addition to the dramatic roles, Nanjiani has returned to standup comedy—he’s in the midst of a nine-month cross-country run—and is managing a fledgling production company, Winter Coat Films, with his co-founder and wife, the writer-producer Emily Gordon. He has also partnered with the nutrition company Quest. “I want to live for a long time,” he says. “And I want to feel good for a long time.”GQ: It’s the classic question for guys who want to get in shape: Do big muscles solve all your problems?Kumail Nanjiani: Oh, God no. Maybe, maybe, maybe I sleep a little better and I have slightly less anxiety because I’m working out pretty hard. But I’m seeing a therapist more regularly, so it’s hard to know what’s what. [Laughs.] So, no, it doesn’t solve shit.How has your fitness transformation affected you on set and on stage?On set, I don’t think as much. I’ve certainly grown in confidence on set, but I think that’s come from doing more reps—learning more on all aspects of filmmaking and feeling more comfortable. However, I started doing standup again about a year ago, and the last time I did, I looked very different. And so when I started doing standup again, my wife was, like, people’s experience of seeing you on stage is different now. You look different on stage. So even though you don’t see yourself differently, the audience perceives you differently. My standup used to be self-deprecating. I can’t do that as much anymore. It just has to be different. I used to talk about being a nerd—I still talk about being a nerd, but it’s changed the math.You’re on tour now for a few months, but often performing on the weekends. Do you make sure to work out while traveling, or do you just enjoy your time out of the gym and get back to it on Monday?This is so dorky, but I look up the gyms of the hotels I’m going to. I’m quite obsessed with working out now. It helps with anxiety, feeling more grounded, and my energy’s better. And so, I will look at the gym setup. Sometimes that information is hard to find. There’s a website called Hotel Gyms that ranks everything, but it doesn’t give you a ton of detail. But from the pictures, you can sleuth. Like, Oh my God, this place has a leg press machine. So, at home, I can skip legs, because I don’t have a leg press machine at home. I’m traveling Saturday, and I know that the hotel I’m in for the first few days has an amazing gym. So when I plan out my day, even with shooting, I’m figuring out when I can go to the gym.What’s the best hotel gym you’ve visited?Well, the one I’m actually going to now, the Forth Hotel in Atlanta, has a really, really good gym. And the Equinox Hotel in New York, Hudson Yards, is an actual Equinox, so it’s tough to beat.It’s said that if muscles are built in the gym, abs are built in the kitchen. What parts of that rigorous Marvel-prepping diet have you continued?When I first started trying to get in shape five years ago, I noticed how certain foods would make me feel. I didn’t know that. Eating sugar, you have the crash a couple of hours later. Eating gluten, you have a histamine response. To me, that’s been the biggest change. I have a pretty wicked sweet tooth, so I’ll still find room to eat dessert, but I know how it makes me feel afterwards. Days on set are pretty long, and when I’m on tour, I’m landing in a city, doing two shows that night, flying early the next morning to another city, doing another show or two that night. Energy’s so important. I’m finding that cutting out refined sugar has really made my energy more even through the day instead of these peaks and valleys, which I thought were [just part of] being a human. When I’m more thoughtful about what I eat, I certainly feel better, and I have more energy for the work that I need to do.Are there other areas besides sugar where you have shifted your diet?For a long time, I was tracking everything I was eating. But I stopped doing that almost two years ago, because now it’s a feel. I try to maximize protein, and I try to minimize simple sugars. I’m not keto or anything—I eat fruit. So what’s really stayed is the idea of protein content, which is where all the Quest stuff helps: It’s high protein, low carbs. Unless I’m preparing for something specific, if I’m eating high protein and minimizing simple sugars, I’m going to stay on track. Lean meats: chicken, steak. I love going to steak places. I ask, What’s the leanest cut of steak you have? I know that’s not the tastiest, but to me, the difference in taste and experience isn’t that big.So you’re not a Wagyu guy then?Listen, Wagyu tastes amazing. And I’ll do it every now and then, and if someone else gets it, I’ll try a bite. But generally, no, I’m getting a lean cut—a filet.You got married pretty young compared to many Americans. How has your change in your fitness affected your relationship with Emily?Well, at the beginning, she’s just, like, you just feel so different. She’s like, “It’s like hugging the corner of a building.” [Laughs.] But now, we have a gym at our home, and Emily’s started doing serious weight training, too, so that’s been the biggest change. She loves doing it. And the way she looks and feels is very different.Does she feel like the corner of a building as well?[Laughs.] Yes, just a couple of building corners bumping into each other. Sparks. But she really loves it. She saw what I was getting out of it, she got a trainer, and now she does it on her own. She loves it. But beyond that, when you’ve been married 17 years, you change a lot. So much about you changes, obviously. We’ve both changed in so, so many ways. So I think the biggest excitement in being in a relationship this long is how you change and how you change together, right? Because you’re changing as people, so your relationship has to change. There’s never a point where you’re, like, And now the relationship is done. It’s a growing, evolving thing that you need to keep talking about. It’s really about communication. And we just started a production company, so we’re working together more now than we ever have. All this stuff requires constant communication. “Hey, when you said that in the business meeting that we had, it hurt my feelings.” [Laughs.] So that’s the most exciting thing to me about being with her: Watching her change and watching us change together.You’ve described your weight room prep for your Marvel role as “vomit-inducing” and “chasing the pain.” Has that level of intensity changed as you’ve moved past that movie?It ebbs and flows based on my mood. Right now, I’m in a non-hardcore training phase. I just sort of go based on how my body’s feeling and how I’m feeling mentally. I also change up my workouts quite a bit, because you get bored. Right now I’m on a pretty easy split—it’s not a ton of exercises per workout. But honestly, if you have a stressful day or a tough day or a bad day, you feel like I want to work out really, really hard. And it really helps me feel better. It’s one to one. I’ll be in a bad mood, I’ll work out really hard, and I’ll be great. That said, I’m not able to put myself through a vomit-inducing workout. Like you said, I’m not trying to peak. I’m trying to maintain. There’s no reason for me to be buff anymore—it’s just because I like doing the thing, you know?In their 40s, guys start to think about longevity rather than performance. So when you think about training to stay healthy for the rest of your life, how does that change your approach to fitness and diet?I’ve read studies that say stronger muscle is good for longevity—older people break bones and get hurt, and having more muscle mass helps with that. My whole family has a history of cardiovascular issues, and working out helps with that. I take my blood pressure all the time, and at my age, and I can see the difference working out has made. I thought it would hit me at 40, mentally. It didn’t hit me at 40. In your early 40s, you’re like, OK, double that, 80s, a lot of people make it to their 80s. But when you hit 45, you’re like, OK, most people don’t make it to 90. At 45, I was, like, Oh, I’m probably more than halfway through this journey. For a long time, I was scared of opening that door to taking care of my cholesterol or my blood pressure, because it feels so scary—I’ve lost family members to it. Everyone I know in my family is dealing with it, to some degree. My generation is generally healthier; we’re more aware of what we eat, so we’re doing better than the older generation.I want to live! [Laughs.] And I want to live for a long time. And I want to feel good for a long time. Right now, I feel better than I did through most of my 20s and 30s, and I think a lot of that has to do with what I’m eating and what I’m not eating, and how I’m exercising. But also, a lot of psychological stuff: Being more in touch with myself and my emotions, being aware of what I’m feeling and why I’m feeling it, talking to therapists, talking to Emily, talking to friends about stuff that’s scaring me or making me sad. I think all that stuff I’m prioritizing more now.In Real-Life Diet, athletes, celebrities, and other high performers talk about their diet, exercise routines, and pursuit of wellness. Keep in mind that what works for them might not necessarily be healthy for you. Source link

[norajworld]

In 2021, 46-year-old Kumail Nanjiani famously transformed himself from the soft-bodied uber-nerd he played in Silicon Valley to the super-ripped superhero Kingo from his Marvel movie debut, Eternals. While some actors do intense physical prep for parts only to backslide after shooting wraps, Nanjiani made his gains stick. With a change of physique has come a change of roles, including his more, well, muscular parts as a rebel in the 2022 Star Wars mini-series Obi-Wan Kenobi, strip club pioneer in Welcome to Chippendales (2023), and a Ghostbuster in 2024.In addition to the dramatic roles, Nanjiani has returned to standup comedy—he’s in the midst of a nine-month cross-country run—and is managing a fledgling production company, Winter Coat Films, with his co-founder and wife, the writer-producer Emily Gordon. He has also partnered with the nutrition company Quest. “I want to live for a long time,” he says. “And I want to feel good for a long time.”GQ: It’s the classic question for guys who want to get in shape: Do big muscles solve all your problems?Kumail Nanjiani: Oh, God no. Maybe, maybe, maybe I sleep a little better and I have slightly less anxiety because I’m working out pretty hard. But I’m seeing a therapist more regularly, so it’s hard to know what’s what. [Laughs.] So, no, it doesn’t solve shit.How has your fitness transformation affected you on set and on stage?On set, I don’t think as much. I’ve certainly grown in confidence on set, but I think that’s come from doing more reps—learning more on all aspects of filmmaking and feeling more comfortable. However, I started doing standup again about a year ago, and the last time I did, I looked very different. And so when I started doing standup again, my wife was, like, people’s experience of seeing you on stage is different now. You look different on stage. So even though you don’t see yourself differently, the audience perceives you differently. My standup used to be self-deprecating. I can’t do that as much anymore. It just has to be different. I used to talk about being a nerd—I still talk about being a nerd, but it’s changed the math.You’re on tour now for a few months, but often performing on the weekends. Do you make sure to work out while traveling, or do you just enjoy your time out of the gym and get back to it on Monday?This is so dorky, but I look up the gyms of the hotels I’m going to. I’m quite obsessed with working out now. It helps with anxiety, feeling more grounded, and my energy’s better. And so, I will look at the gym setup. Sometimes that information is hard to find. There’s a website called Hotel Gyms that ranks everything, but it doesn’t give you a ton of detail. But from the pictures, you can sleuth. Like, Oh my God, this place has a leg press machine. So, at home, I can skip legs, because I don’t have a leg press machine at home. I’m traveling Saturday, and I know that the hotel I’m in for the first few days has an amazing gym. So when I plan out my day, even with shooting, I’m figuring out when I can go to the gym.What’s the best hotel gym you’ve visited?Well, the one I’m actually going to now, the Forth Hotel in Atlanta, has a really, really good gym. And the Equinox Hotel in New York, Hudson Yards, is an actual Equinox, so it’s tough to beat.It’s said that if muscles are built in the gym, abs are built in the kitchen. What parts of that rigorous Marvel-prepping diet have you continued?When I first started trying to get in shape five years ago, I noticed how certain foods would make me feel. I didn’t know that. Eating sugar, you have the crash a couple of hours later. Eating gluten, you have a histamine response. To me, that’s been the biggest change. I have a pretty wicked sweet tooth, so I’ll still find room to eat dessert, but I know how it makes me feel afterwards. Days on set are pretty long, and when I’m on tour, I’m landing in a city, doing two shows that night, flying early the next morning to another city, doing another show or two that night. Energy’s so important. I’m finding that cutting out refined sugar has really made my energy more even through the day instead of these peaks and valleys, which I thought were [just part of] being a human. When I’m more thoughtful about what I eat, I certainly feel better, and I have more energy for the work that I need to do.Are there other areas besides sugar where you have shifted your diet?For a long time, I was tracking everything I was eating. But I stopped doing that almost two years ago, because now it’s a feel. I try to maximize protein, and I try to minimize simple sugars. I’m not keto or anything—I eat fruit. So what’s really stayed is the idea of protein content, which is where all the Quest stuff helps: It’s high protein, low carbs. Unless I’m preparing for something specific, if I’m eating high protein and minimizing simple sugars, I’m going to stay on track. Lean meats: chicken, steak. I love going to steak places. I ask, What’s the leanest cut of steak you have? I know that’s not the tastiest, but to me, the difference in taste and experience isn’t that big.So you’re not a Wagyu guy then?Listen, Wagyu tastes amazing. And I’ll do it every now and then, and if someone else gets it, I’ll try a bite. But generally, no, I’m getting a lean cut—a filet.You got married pretty young compared to many Americans. How has your change in your fitness affected your relationship with Emily?Well, at the beginning, she’s just, like, you just feel so different. She’s like, “It’s like hugging the corner of a building.” [Laughs.] But now, we have a gym at our home, and Emily’s started doing serious weight training, too, so that’s been the biggest change. She loves doing it. And the way she looks and feels is very different.Does she feel like the corner of a building as well?[Laughs.] Yes, just a couple of building corners bumping into each other. Sparks. But she really loves it. She saw what I was getting out of it, she got a trainer, and now she does it on her own. She loves it. But beyond that, when you’ve been married 17 years, you change a lot. So much about you changes, obviously. We’ve both changed in so, so many ways. So I think the biggest excitement in being in a relationship this long is how you change and how you change together, right? Because you’re changing as people, so your relationship has to change. There’s never a point where you’re, like, And now the relationship is done. It’s a growing, evolving thing that you need to keep talking about. It’s really about communication. And we just started a production company, so we’re working together more now than we ever have. All this stuff requires constant communication. “Hey, when you said that in the business meeting that we had, it hurt my feelings.” [Laughs.] So that’s the most exciting thing to me about being with her: Watching her change and watching us change together.You’ve described your weight room prep for your Marvel role as “vomit-inducing” and “chasing the pain.” Has that level of intensity changed as you’ve moved past that movie?It ebbs and flows based on my mood. Right now, I’m in a non-hardcore training phase. I just sort of go based on how my body’s feeling and how I’m feeling mentally. I also change up my workouts quite a bit, because you get bored. Right now I’m on a pretty easy split—it’s not a ton of exercises per workout. But honestly, if you have a stressful day or a tough day or a bad day, you feel like I want to work out really, really hard. And it really helps me feel better. It’s one to one. I’ll be in a bad mood, I’ll work out really hard, and I’ll be great. That said, I’m not able to put myself through a vomit-inducing workout. Like you said, I’m not trying to peak. I’m trying to maintain. There’s no reason for me to be buff anymore—it’s just because I like doing the thing, you know?In their 40s, guys start to think about longevity rather than performance. So when you think about training to stay healthy for the rest of your life, how does that change your approach to fitness and diet?I’ve read studies that say stronger muscle is good for longevity—older people break bones and get hurt, and having more muscle mass helps with that. My whole family has a history of cardiovascular issues, and working out helps with that. I take my blood pressure all the time, and at my age, and I can see the difference working out has made. I thought it would hit me at 40, mentally. It didn’t hit me at 40. In your early 40s, you’re like, OK, double that, 80s, a lot of people make it to their 80s. But when you hit 45, you’re like, OK, most people don’t make it to 90. At 45, I was, like, Oh, I’m probably more than halfway through this journey. For a long time, I was scared of opening that door to taking care of my cholesterol or my blood pressure, because it feels so scary—I’ve lost family members to it. Everyone I know in my family is dealing with it, to some degree. My generation is generally healthier; we’re more aware of what we eat, so we’re doing better than the older generation.I want to live! [Laughs.] And I want to live for a long time. And I want to feel good for a long time. Right now, I feel better than I did through most of my 20s and 30s, and I think a lot of that has to do with what I’m eating and what I’m not eating, and how I’m exercising. But also, a lot of psychological stuff: Being more in touch with myself and my emotions, being aware of what I’m feeling and why I’m feeling it, talking to therapists, talking to Emily, talking to friends about stuff that’s scaring me or making me sad. I think all that stuff I’m prioritizing more now.In Real-Life Diet, athletes, celebrities, and other high performers talk about their diet, exercise routines, and pursuit of wellness. Keep in mind that what works for them might not necessarily be healthy for you. Source link

[ellajme0]

In 2021, 46-year-old Kumail Nanjiani famously transformed himself from the soft-bodied uber-nerd he played in Silicon Valley to the super-ripped superhero Kingo from his Marvel movie debut, Eternals. While some actors do intense physical prep for parts only to backslide after shooting wraps, Nanjiani made his gains stick. With a change of physique has come a change of roles, including his more, well, muscular parts as a rebel in the 2022 Star Wars mini-series Obi-Wan Kenobi, strip club pioneer in Welcome to Chippendales (2023), and a Ghostbuster in 2024.In addition to the dramatic roles, Nanjiani has returned to standup comedy—he’s in the midst of a nine-month cross-country run—and is managing a fledgling production company, Winter Coat Films, with his co-founder and wife, the writer-producer Emily Gordon. He has also partnered with the nutrition company Quest. “I want to live for a long time,” he says. “And I want to feel good for a long time.”GQ: It’s the classic question for guys who want to get in shape: Do big muscles solve all your problems?Kumail Nanjiani: Oh, God no. Maybe, maybe, maybe I sleep a little better and I have slightly less anxiety because I’m working out pretty hard. But I’m seeing a therapist more regularly, so it’s hard to know what’s what. [Laughs.] So, no, it doesn’t solve shit.How has your fitness transformation affected you on set and on stage?On set, I don’t think as much. I’ve certainly grown in confidence on set, but I think that’s come from doing more reps—learning more on all aspects of filmmaking and feeling more comfortable. However, I started doing standup again about a year ago, and the last time I did, I looked very different. And so when I started doing standup again, my wife was, like, people’s experience of seeing you on stage is different now. You look different on stage. So even though you don’t see yourself differently, the audience perceives you differently. My standup used to be self-deprecating. I can’t do that as much anymore. It just has to be different. I used to talk about being a nerd—I still talk about being a nerd, but it’s changed the math.You’re on tour now for a few months, but often performing on the weekends. Do you make sure to work out while traveling, or do you just enjoy your time out of the gym and get back to it on Monday?This is so dorky, but I look up the gyms of the hotels I’m going to. I’m quite obsessed with working out now. It helps with anxiety, feeling more grounded, and my energy’s better. And so, I will look at the gym setup. Sometimes that information is hard to find. There’s a website called Hotel Gyms that ranks everything, but it doesn’t give you a ton of detail. But from the pictures, you can sleuth. Like, Oh my God, this place has a leg press machine. So, at home, I can skip legs, because I don’t have a leg press machine at home. I’m traveling Saturday, and I know that the hotel I’m in for the first few days has an amazing gym. So when I plan out my day, even with shooting, I’m figuring out when I can go to the gym.What’s the best hotel gym you’ve visited?Well, the one I’m actually going to now, the Forth Hotel in Atlanta, has a really, really good gym. And the Equinox Hotel in New York, Hudson Yards, is an actual Equinox, so it’s tough to beat.It’s said that if muscles are built in the gym, abs are built in the kitchen. What parts of that rigorous Marvel-prepping diet have you continued?When I first started trying to get in shape five years ago, I noticed how certain foods would make me feel. I didn’t know that. Eating sugar, you have the crash a couple of hours later. Eating gluten, you have a histamine response. To me, that’s been the biggest change. I have a pretty wicked sweet tooth, so I’ll still find room to eat dessert, but I know how it makes me feel afterwards. Days on set are pretty long, and when I’m on tour, I’m landing in a city, doing two shows that night, flying early the next morning to another city, doing another show or two that night. Energy’s so important. I’m finding that cutting out refined sugar has really made my energy more even through the day instead of these peaks and valleys, which I thought were [just part of] being a human. When I’m more thoughtful about what I eat, I certainly feel better, and I have more energy for the work that I need to do.Are there other areas besides sugar where you have shifted your diet?For a long time, I was tracking everything I was eating. But I stopped doing that almost two years ago, because now it’s a feel. I try to maximize protein, and I try to minimize simple sugars. I’m not keto or anything—I eat fruit. So what’s really stayed is the idea of protein content, which is where all the Quest stuff helps: It’s high protein, low carbs. Unless I’m preparing for something specific, if I’m eating high protein and minimizing simple sugars, I’m going to stay on track. Lean meats: chicken, steak. I love going to steak places. I ask, What’s the leanest cut of steak you have? I know that’s not the tastiest, but to me, the difference in taste and experience isn’t that big.So you’re not a Wagyu guy then?Listen, Wagyu tastes amazing. And I’ll do it every now and then, and if someone else gets it, I’ll try a bite. But generally, no, I’m getting a lean cut—a filet.You got married pretty young compared to many Americans. How has your change in your fitness affected your relationship with Emily?Well, at the beginning, she’s just, like, you just feel so different. She’s like, “It’s like hugging the corner of a building.” [Laughs.] But now, we have a gym at our home, and Emily’s started doing serious weight training, too, so that’s been the biggest change. She loves doing it. And the way she looks and feels is very different.Does she feel like the corner of a building as well?[Laughs.] Yes, just a couple of building corners bumping into each other. Sparks. But she really loves it. She saw what I was getting out of it, she got a trainer, and now she does it on her own. She loves it. But beyond that, when you’ve been married 17 years, you change a lot. So much about you changes, obviously. We’ve both changed in so, so many ways. So I think the biggest excitement in being in a relationship this long is how you change and how you change together, right? Because you’re changing as people, so your relationship has to change. There’s never a point where you’re, like, And now the relationship is done. It’s a growing, evolving thing that you need to keep talking about. It’s really about communication. And we just started a production company, so we’re working together more now than we ever have. All this stuff requires constant communication. “Hey, when you said that in the business meeting that we had, it hurt my feelings.” [Laughs.] So that’s the most exciting thing to me about being with her: Watching her change and watching us change together.You’ve described your weight room prep for your Marvel role as “vomit-inducing” and “chasing the pain.” Has that level of intensity changed as you’ve moved past that movie?It ebbs and flows based on my mood. Right now, I’m in a non-hardcore training phase. I just sort of go based on how my body’s feeling and how I’m feeling mentally. I also change up my workouts quite a bit, because you get bored. Right now I’m on a pretty easy split—it’s not a ton of exercises per workout. But honestly, if you have a stressful day or a tough day or a bad day, you feel like I want to work out really, really hard. And it really helps me feel better. It’s one to one. I’ll be in a bad mood, I’ll work out really hard, and I’ll be great. That said, I’m not able to put myself through a vomit-inducing workout. Like you said, I’m not trying to peak. I’m trying to maintain. There’s no reason for me to be buff anymore—it’s just because I like doing the thing, you know?In their 40s, guys start to think about longevity rather than performance. So when you think about training to stay healthy for the rest of your life, how does that change your approach to fitness and diet?I’ve read studies that say stronger muscle is good for longevity—older people break bones and get hurt, and having more muscle mass helps with that. My whole family has a history of cardiovascular issues, and working out helps with that. I take my blood pressure all the time, and at my age, and I can see the difference working out has made. I thought it would hit me at 40, mentally. It didn’t hit me at 40. In your early 40s, you’re like, OK, double that, 80s, a lot of people make it to their 80s. But when you hit 45, you’re like, OK, most people don’t make it to 90. At 45, I was, like, Oh, I’m probably more than halfway through this journey. For a long time, I was scared of opening that door to taking care of my cholesterol or my blood pressure, because it feels so scary—I’ve lost family members to it. Everyone I know in my family is dealing with it, to some degree. My generation is generally healthier; we’re more aware of what we eat, so we’re doing better than the older generation.I want to live! [Laughs.] And I want to live for a long time. And I want to feel good for a long time. Right now, I feel better than I did through most of my 20s and 30s, and I think a lot of that has to do with what I’m eating and what I’m not eating, and how I’m exercising. But also, a lot of psychological stuff: Being more in touch with myself and my emotions, being aware of what I’m feeling and why I’m feeling it, talking to therapists, talking to Emily, talking to friends about stuff that’s scaring me or making me sad. I think all that stuff I’m prioritizing more now.In Real-Life Diet, athletes, celebrities, and other high performers talk about their diet, exercise routines, and pursuit of wellness. Keep in mind that what works for them might not necessarily be healthy for you. Source link

[chilimili212]

In 2021, 46-year-old Kumail Nanjiani famously transformed himself from the soft-bodied uber-nerd he played in Silicon Valley to the super-ripped superhero Kingo from his Marvel movie debut, Eternals. While some actors do intense physical prep for parts only to backslide after shooting wraps, Nanjiani made his gains stick. With a change of physique has come a change of roles, including his more, well, muscular parts as a rebel in the 2022 Star Wars mini-series Obi-Wan Kenobi, strip club pioneer in Welcome to Chippendales (2023), and a Ghostbuster in 2024.In addition to the dramatic roles, Nanjiani has returned to standup comedy—he’s in the midst of a nine-month cross-country run—and is managing a fledgling production company, Winter Coat Films, with his co-founder and wife, the writer-producer Emily Gordon. He has also partnered with the nutrition company Quest. “I want to live for a long time,” he says. “And I want to feel good for a long time.”GQ: It’s the classic question for guys who want to get in shape: Do big muscles solve all your problems?Kumail Nanjiani: Oh, God no. Maybe, maybe, maybe I sleep a little better and I have slightly less anxiety because I’m working out pretty hard. But I’m seeing a therapist more regularly, so it’s hard to know what’s what. [Laughs.] So, no, it doesn’t solve shit.How has your fitness transformation affected you on set and on stage?On set, I don’t think as much. I’ve certainly grown in confidence on set, but I think that’s come from doing more reps—learning more on all aspects of filmmaking and feeling more comfortable. However, I started doing standup again about a year ago, and the last time I did, I looked very different. And so when I started doing standup again, my wife was, like, people’s experience of seeing you on stage is different now. You look different on stage. So even though you don’t see yourself differently, the audience perceives you differently. My standup used to be self-deprecating. I can’t do that as much anymore. It just has to be different. I used to talk about being a nerd—I still talk about being a nerd, but it’s changed the math.You’re on tour now for a few months, but often performing on the weekends. Do you make sure to work out while traveling, or do you just enjoy your time out of the gym and get back to it on Monday?This is so dorky, but I look up the gyms of the hotels I’m going to. I’m quite obsessed with working out now. It helps with anxiety, feeling more grounded, and my energy’s better. And so, I will look at the gym setup. Sometimes that information is hard to find. There’s a website called Hotel Gyms that ranks everything, but it doesn’t give you a ton of detail. But from the pictures, you can sleuth. Like, Oh my God, this place has a leg press machine. So, at home, I can skip legs, because I don’t have a leg press machine at home. I’m traveling Saturday, and I know that the hotel I’m in for the first few days has an amazing gym. So when I plan out my day, even with shooting, I’m figuring out when I can go to the gym.What’s the best hotel gym you’ve visited?Well, the one I’m actually going to now, the Forth Hotel in Atlanta, has a really, really good gym. And the Equinox Hotel in New York, Hudson Yards, is an actual Equinox, so it’s tough to beat.It’s said that if muscles are built in the gym, abs are built in the kitchen. What parts of that rigorous Marvel-prepping diet have you continued?When I first started trying to get in shape five years ago, I noticed how certain foods would make me feel. I didn’t know that. Eating sugar, you have the crash a couple of hours later. Eating gluten, you have a histamine response. To me, that’s been the biggest change. I have a pretty wicked sweet tooth, so I’ll still find room to eat dessert, but I know how it makes me feel afterwards. Days on set are pretty long, and when I’m on tour, I’m landing in a city, doing two shows that night, flying early the next morning to another city, doing another show or two that night. Energy’s so important. I’m finding that cutting out refined sugar has really made my energy more even through the day instead of these peaks and valleys, which I thought were [just part of] being a human. When I’m more thoughtful about what I eat, I certainly feel better, and I have more energy for the work that I need to do.Are there other areas besides sugar where you have shifted your diet?For a long time, I was tracking everything I was eating. But I stopped doing that almost two years ago, because now it’s a feel. I try to maximize protein, and I try to minimize simple sugars. I’m not keto or anything—I eat fruit. So what’s really stayed is the idea of protein content, which is where all the Quest stuff helps: It’s high protein, low carbs. Unless I’m preparing for something specific, if I’m eating high protein and minimizing simple sugars, I’m going to stay on track. Lean meats: chicken, steak. I love going to steak places. I ask, What’s the leanest cut of steak you have? I know that’s not the tastiest, but to me, the difference in taste and experience isn’t that big.So you’re not a Wagyu guy then?Listen, Wagyu tastes amazing. And I’ll do it every now and then, and if someone else gets it, I’ll try a bite. But generally, no, I’m getting a lean cut—a filet.You got married pretty young compared to many Americans. How has your change in your fitness affected your relationship with Emily?Well, at the beginning, she’s just, like, you just feel so different. She’s like, “It’s like hugging the corner of a building.” [Laughs.] But now, we have a gym at our home, and Emily’s started doing serious weight training, too, so that’s been the biggest change. She loves doing it. And the way she looks and feels is very different.Does she feel like the corner of a building as well?[Laughs.] Yes, just a couple of building corners bumping into each other. Sparks. But she really loves it. She saw what I was getting out of it, she got a trainer, and now she does it on her own. She loves it. But beyond that, when you’ve been married 17 years, you change a lot. So much about you changes, obviously. We’ve both changed in so, so many ways. So I think the biggest excitement in being in a relationship this long is how you change and how you change together, right? Because you’re changing as people, so your relationship has to change. There’s never a point where you’re, like, And now the relationship is done. It’s a growing, evolving thing that you need to keep talking about. It’s really about communication. And we just started a production company, so we’re working together more now than we ever have. All this stuff requires constant communication. “Hey, when you said that in the business meeting that we had, it hurt my feelings.” [Laughs.] So that’s the most exciting thing to me about being with her: Watching her change and watching us change together.You’ve described your weight room prep for your Marvel role as “vomit-inducing” and “chasing the pain.” Has that level of intensity changed as you’ve moved past that movie?It ebbs and flows based on my mood. Right now, I’m in a non-hardcore training phase. I just sort of go based on how my body’s feeling and how I’m feeling mentally. I also change up my workouts quite a bit, because you get bored. Right now I’m on a pretty easy split—it’s not a ton of exercises per workout. But honestly, if you have a stressful day or a tough day or a bad day, you feel like I want to work out really, really hard. And it really helps me feel better. It’s one to one. I’ll be in a bad mood, I’ll work out really hard, and I’ll be great. That said, I’m not able to put myself through a vomit-inducing workout. Like you said, I’m not trying to peak. I’m trying to maintain. There’s no reason for me to be buff anymore—it’s just because I like doing the thing, you know?In their 40s, guys start to think about longevity rather than performance. So when you think about training to stay healthy for the rest of your life, how does that change your approach to fitness and diet?I’ve read studies that say stronger muscle is good for longevity—older people break bones and get hurt, and having more muscle mass helps with that. My whole family has a history of cardiovascular issues, and working out helps with that. I take my blood pressure all the time, and at my age, and I can see the difference working out has made. I thought it would hit me at 40, mentally. It didn’t hit me at 40. In your early 40s, you’re like, OK, double that, 80s, a lot of people make it to their 80s. But when you hit 45, you’re like, OK, most people don’t make it to 90. At 45, I was, like, Oh, I’m probably more than halfway through this journey. For a long time, I was scared of opening that door to taking care of my cholesterol or my blood pressure, because it feels so scary—I’ve lost family members to it. Everyone I know in my family is dealing with it, to some degree. My generation is generally healthier; we’re more aware of what we eat, so we’re doing better than the older generation.I want to live! [Laughs.] And I want to live for a long time. And I want to feel good for a long time. Right now, I feel better than I did through most of my 20s and 30s, and I think a lot of that has to do with what I’m eating and what I’m not eating, and how I’m exercising. But also, a lot of psychological stuff: Being more in touch with myself and my emotions, being aware of what I’m feeling and why I’m feeling it, talking to therapists, talking to Emily, talking to friends about stuff that’s scaring me or making me sad. I think all that stuff I’m prioritizing more now.In Real-Life Diet, athletes, celebrities, and other high performers talk about their diet, exercise routines, and pursuit of wellness. Keep in mind that what works for them might not necessarily be healthy for you. Source link

[iamprchung]

Did you write the Skinner Scully fanfic “The Wan Ton Weekend”? It was like 20 years ago and I’ve been looking for it for decades now. Such a darling time shifting delight with handcuffs and Chinese food. I’d give you a crisp virtual high five if you did and were willing to share it.

Hey I found your question! Yes! I did write that. I need to get it reposted. Let me give it a look. I can post a link when it's up. 😁 We're you in the Scuttlebutts group? Just wondering.

[grapenehifics]

WIP Wednesday

I'm going to start posting an Obikin Jurassic Park AU later this week, but in the meantime, here's a sneak peek of chapter 3!

“That was so cool!” Luke enthused, jumping up and down, the same way he had ever since he’d seen the helicopter on the landing pad at the San José airport. “Dad! Dad! Dad! Did you feel how fast we dropped? We went like – whoosh – and then like, like – whoosh – again” –

“What did you think, Leia?” Anakin asked, turning his attention to his daughter. She was holding his hand, but was being much quieter than her brother, which was not her custom.

“Do we have to ride it again when we go home?” she asked, looking up at him.

Anakin nodded. “To get back to the airport, yeah.”

She squeezed his hand a little tighter. “And then we’re going to fly back home to Grandma, and you have to go back to work, huh?”

Luke was busy pretending he was a helicopter, so Anakin momentarily had both hands free to scoop Leia up and into his arms. She was getting just a little too tall to be carried, and her legs dangled somewhere around his knees, but she wrapped her arms around his neck and held on tight. “Yes, but let’s not think about that right now, all right?” Anakin murmured, and Leia nodded. “We get to have fun together all weekend first!”

Luke finally noticed no one was paying him any attention. “Dad,” he tried again, tugging on Anakin’s sleeve. “Who’re they?”

Anakin looked up. Dooku’s guys had picked them up at the airport, flown them here on the first helicopter ride any of them had ever been on, then put them in a Jeep and driven them to some sort of squat concrete building very much still under construction, and Anakin had been so busy enjoying seeing his kids for the first time in weeks that it had all passed as a sort of blur, but now, standing in the lobby of a large circular rotunda, the truth hit him like a ton of bricks.

Obi-Wan was here. Obi-Wan was about to meet Anakin’s kids. Dooku was here, too, and Anakin’s kids were about to meet Count Dooku, and they’d probably make a terrible impression, because they were ten, and neither Obi-Wan nor Dooku but especially Dooku seemed like men who suffered ten-year-olds lightly. Anakin had put ten years of work into protecting his family and his career both, and this one weekend had the power to bring the entire house of cards tumbling down.

If Anakin were a smarter man, he never would have mentioned his kids at all. Neither Obi-Wan nor Dooku would have known the difference. Nor would Luke or Leia. He might have missed his weekly Sunday check-in call, but he could have found some reason to explain why he needed to reschedule that. Costa Rica would have just been this weird blip in his summer that he didn’t tell his kids about. But no. He’d just been missing them so badly, and Dooku had mentioned kids, and Anakin had made that dumb joke, and the twins were on his brain, and the words had just come tumbling out, and Dooku, for some weird reason, had gone for it, and now here Anakin was, one ten-year-old dangling from his neck and the other making zoom-zoom noises with his mouth, standing in front of Doctor Obi-Wan Kenobi, full-time paleontology god and part-time secret love of Anakin’s life.

[oliviajoyice21]

In 2021, 46-year-old Kumail Nanjiani famously transformed himself from the soft-bodied uber-nerd he played in Silicon Valley to the super-ripped superhero Kingo from his Marvel movie debut, Eternals. While some actors do intense physical prep for parts only to backslide after shooting wraps, Nanjiani made his gains stick. With a change of physique has come a change of roles, including his more, well, muscular parts as a rebel in the 2022 Star Wars mini-series Obi-Wan Kenobi, strip club pioneer in Welcome to Chippendales (2023), and a Ghostbuster in 2024.In addition to the dramatic roles, Nanjiani has returned to standup comedy—he’s in the midst of a nine-month cross-country run—and is managing a fledgling production company, Winter Coat Films, with his co-founder and wife, the writer-producer Emily Gordon. He has also partnered with the nutrition company Quest. “I want to live for a long time,” he says. “And I want to feel good for a long time.”GQ: It’s the classic question for guys who want to get in shape: Do big muscles solve all your problems?Kumail Nanjiani: Oh, God no. Maybe, maybe, maybe I sleep a little better and I have slightly less anxiety because I’m working out pretty hard. But I’m seeing a therapist more regularly, so it’s hard to know what’s what. [Laughs.] So, no, it doesn’t solve shit.How has your fitness transformation affected you on set and on stage?On set, I don’t think as much. I’ve certainly grown in confidence on set, but I think that’s come from doing more reps—learning more on all aspects of filmmaking and feeling more comfortable. However, I started doing standup again about a year ago, and the last time I did, I looked very different. And so when I started doing standup again, my wife was, like, people’s experience of seeing you on stage is different now. You look different on stage. So even though you don’t see yourself differently, the audience perceives you differently. My standup used to be self-deprecating. I can’t do that as much anymore. It just has to be different. I used to talk about being a nerd—I still talk about being a nerd, but it’s changed the math.You’re on tour now for a few months, but often performing on the weekends. Do you make sure to work out while traveling, or do you just enjoy your time out of the gym and get back to it on Monday?This is so dorky, but I look up the gyms of the hotels I’m going to. I’m quite obsessed with working out now. It helps with anxiety, feeling more grounded, and my energy’s better. And so, I will look at the gym setup. Sometimes that information is hard to find. There’s a website called Hotel Gyms that ranks everything, but it doesn’t give you a ton of detail. But from the pictures, you can sleuth. Like, Oh my God, this place has a leg press machine. So, at home, I can skip legs, because I don’t have a leg press machine at home. I’m traveling Saturday, and I know that the hotel I’m in for the first few days has an amazing gym. So when I plan out my day, even with shooting, I’m figuring out when I can go to the gym.What’s the best hotel gym you’ve visited?Well, the one I’m actually going to now, the Forth Hotel in Atlanta, has a really, really good gym. And the Equinox Hotel in New York, Hudson Yards, is an actual Equinox, so it’s tough to beat.It’s said that if muscles are built in the gym, abs are built in the kitchen. What parts of that rigorous Marvel-prepping diet have you continued?When I first started trying to get in shape five years ago, I noticed how certain foods would make me feel. I didn’t know that. Eating sugar, you have the crash a couple of hours later. Eating gluten, you have a histamine response. To me, that’s been the biggest change. I have a pretty wicked sweet tooth, so I’ll still find room to eat dessert, but I know how it makes me feel afterwards. Days on set are pretty long, and when I’m on tour, I’m landing in a city, doing two shows that night, flying early the next morning to another city, doing another show or two that night. Energy’s so important. I’m finding that cutting out refined sugar has really made my energy more even through the day instead of these peaks and valleys, which I thought were [just part of] being a human. When I’m more thoughtful about what I eat, I certainly feel better, and I have more energy for the work that I need to do.Are there other areas besides sugar where you have shifted your diet?For a long time, I was tracking everything I was eating. But I stopped doing that almost two years ago, because now it’s a feel. I try to maximize protein, and I try to minimize simple sugars. I’m not keto or anything—I eat fruit. So what’s really stayed is the idea of protein content, which is where all the Quest stuff helps: It’s high protein, low carbs. Unless I’m preparing for something specific, if I’m eating high protein and minimizing simple sugars, I’m going to stay on track. Lean meats: chicken, steak. I love going to steak places. I ask, What’s the leanest cut of steak you have? I know that’s not the tastiest, but to me, the difference in taste and experience isn’t that big.So you’re not a Wagyu guy then?Listen, Wagyu tastes amazing. And I’ll do it every now and then, and if someone else gets it, I’ll try a bite. But generally, no, I’m getting a lean cut—a filet.You got married pretty young compared to many Americans. How has your change in your fitness affected your relationship with Emily?Well, at the beginning, she’s just, like, you just feel so different. She’s like, “It’s like hugging the corner of a building.” [Laughs.] But now, we have a gym at our home, and Emily’s started doing serious weight training, too, so that’s been the biggest change. She loves doing it. And the way she looks and feels is very different.Does she feel like the corner of a building as well?[Laughs.] Yes, just a couple of building corners bumping into each other. Sparks. But she really loves it. She saw what I was getting out of it, she got a trainer, and now she does it on her own. She loves it. But beyond that, when you’ve been married 17 years, you change a lot. So much about you changes, obviously. We’ve both changed in so, so many ways. So I think the biggest excitement in being in a relationship this long is how you change and how you change together, right? Because you’re changing as people, so your relationship has to change. There’s never a point where you’re, like, And now the relationship is done. It’s a growing, evolving thing that you need to keep talking about. It’s really about communication. And we just started a production company, so we’re working together more now than we ever have. All this stuff requires constant communication. “Hey, when you said that in the business meeting that we had, it hurt my feelings.” [Laughs.] So that’s the most exciting thing to me about being with her: Watching her change and watching us change together.You’ve described your weight room prep for your Marvel role as “vomit-inducing” and “chasing the pain.” Has that level of intensity changed as you’ve moved past that movie?It ebbs and flows based on my mood. Right now, I’m in a non-hardcore training phase. I just sort of go based on how my body’s feeling and how I’m feeling mentally. I also change up my workouts quite a bit, because you get bored. Right now I’m on a pretty easy split—it’s not a ton of exercises per workout. But honestly, if you have a stressful day or a tough day or a bad day, you feel like I want to work out really, really hard. And it really helps me feel better. It’s one to one. I’ll be in a bad mood, I’ll work out really hard, and I’ll be great. That said, I’m not able to put myself through a vomit-inducing workout. Like you said, I’m not trying to peak. I’m trying to maintain. There’s no reason for me to be buff anymore—it’s just because I like doing the thing, you know?In their 40s, guys start to think about longevity rather than performance. So when you think about training to stay healthy for the rest of your life, how does that change your approach to fitness and diet?I’ve read studies that say stronger muscle is good for longevity—older people break bones and get hurt, and having more muscle mass helps with that. My whole family has a history of cardiovascular issues, and working out helps with that. I take my blood pressure all the time, and at my age, and I can see the difference working out has made. I thought it would hit me at 40, mentally. It didn’t hit me at 40. In your early 40s, you’re like, OK, double that, 80s, a lot of people make it to their 80s. But when you hit 45, you’re like, OK, most people don’t make it to 90. At 45, I was, like, Oh, I’m probably more than halfway through this journey. For a long time, I was scared of opening that door to taking care of my cholesterol or my blood pressure, because it feels so scary—I’ve lost family members to it. Everyone I know in my family is dealing with it, to some degree. My generation is generally healthier; we’re more aware of what we eat, so we’re doing better than the older generation.I want to live! [Laughs.] And I want to live for a long time. And I want to feel good for a long time. Right now, I feel better than I did through most of my 20s and 30s, and I think a lot of that has to do with what I’m eating and what I’m not eating, and how I’m exercising. But also, a lot of psychological stuff: Being more in touch with myself and my emotions, being aware of what I’m feeling and why I’m feeling it, talking to therapists, talking to Emily, talking to friends about stuff that’s scaring me or making me sad. I think all that stuff I’m prioritizing more now.In Real-Life Diet, athletes, celebrities, and other high performers talk about their diet, exercise routines, and pursuit of wellness. Keep in mind that what works for them might not necessarily be healthy for you. Source link

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #666

Top Ten Jedi

Sometimes I nurture these things like a big-time CEO in a 1980s movie would nurture a Bonsai tree. And sometimes I just kinda bash ‘em out. I’ll leave you to decide what today’s list is most like.

Anyway, I was going to do something vaguely Star Wars-related due to the launch of new TV series Skeleton Crew. This show looks great fun, like Explorers or Goonies but with a delightfully Star Wars twist; and it’s amusing that now Jude Law is having a go at being a Jedi.

Truth be told, I've fallen off the Star Wars train in recent years. I think it’s a combination of fatigue – so many different new things to keep up with – and the fact that they’ve had a couple of mediocrities. I really didn’t get on with Rise of Skywalker, and as great as I thought The Mandalorian was, I have to confess to being disappointed by both Boba Fett and Obi-Wan Kenobi. In fact, I've still not got round to watching Andor, Ahsoka, or The Acolyte (which I guess makes me part of the problem now they’ve gone and cancelled it). However, i will make more of an effort for Skeleton Crew (and catch up on those other ones before the release of The Mandalorian and Grogu in cinemas).

So basically all this preamble is me saying that I hope I can start to feel enjoyment for all things Star Wars again. For a while there, it was a pretty huge part of my entertainment life; now, though, it has been utterly usurped by the MCU (and probably the DCU too). In fact – whisper it – I'm way, way more excited for Star Trek nowadays. Please, whatever you do, don’t go back in time and tell teenage me that. I don’t think he’d ever recover.

Anyway (again), one of the things I really love about Star Wars is the Jedi. I've said this before, but because we’ve got so many different outer-space type shows these days, it’s really the whole mythological thing that continues to set Star Wars apart. A sort of industrial/Wild West/used future thing, with bantering, wisecracking leads? You kinda see that in everything from Firefly to Guardians of the Galaxy and even – oh no! – modern Star Trek. But you add in some mystic, magic space monks with their sexy laser swords? Oh baby, now you’ve got a Star Wars on our hands. More of that please.

And that’s what this week’s list is celebrating; those pyjama-clad denizens of Force Goodness, the Jedi. They’re cool in the original trilogy, with their whole magic, thought-control, telekinesis, swordfighting schtick; but it’s the prequels that added so many fascinating wrinkles to the concept. The structure of the Order, their Byzantine rules, the way the Jedi comported themselves, and ultimately the fact that their adherence to old rules (as well as a dose of hubris) allowed the Sith to take over. And then there’s the fact that there’s, like, tons of them. One of the huge failings of the sequels in my view is that they didn’t lean back into the Jedi as a force (no pun intended); imagine an army of them fighting an army of Sith? That would have been epic.

Something else to note is that this list is pretty light on extended universe characters or those introduced in the “Disney era”. This isn’t a criticism; it’s just that I’ve not really seen, read, or played loads of that stuff. But in, I guess, the “core” Star Wars stories, there are plenty of really cool characters who embody lots of aspects of what makes the Jedi so… Jedi-ish. Unique, otherworldly, and just all-round cool. I mean, how many sci-fi or fantasy groups become so popular that people end up claiming it as a religion on a census? But, yeah, if you happen to be reading this and you’re a big fan of Mara Jade or Cal Kestis or, er, whoever they’re called in The Acolyte, and you’re wondering where your favourite character is, that’s basically it.

So there’s nothing more to say except “begun, this Top Ten has”. Sorry.

Luke Skywalker: yes, it seems like a basic and obvious answer; he’s basically the Jedi of the franchise. But that’s just it: he exemplifies all the best aspects of what the Jedi are meant to be, without the trappings or structure of the Order. He’s the prototypical boy hero, but just through his own inherent goodness he overcomes both the temptations of the Dark Side and the failings of the older Jedi. And then. And then! Older, wiser, and with failure hanging over him, he still manages to redeem himself, save everyone, and pull out one of the greatest feats of power in the whole saga. Basically, growing up watching Luke as a young man, then being a dad and watching him in sort of grumpy dad mode, is an incredible experience as a Star Wars fan.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: I like his as Alec Guinness’s wise old mentor in the first Star Wars, but really it’s Ewan McGregor’s take that seals the vote. At times pompous and arrogant, he’s also very human and empathetic, straddling a line between emotionless fealty to the Order and his brotherly love for Anakin. Plus he manages to be both a bit of an action badass, and also a sassy camp git: “Hello there.”  

Anakin Skywalker: whilst there’s a whininess to him in the early years, he’s a brooding presence over the prequels. Also, whilst he’s a bit of a dick about it, his grievances are genuine: the Jedi are simply awful to him from the get-go. He’s also a war hero and a fantastic swordsman, and then he gets to become Darth Vader. And what’s more iconic and badass than Darth Vader? His whole arc – the fall and redemption – is the spine of the first six films and really needs to be celebrated.

Qui-Gon Jinn: the wise old mentor of the prequels, in a way, but there’s a humanity to him that’s lacking in most of the other Jedi. He might be the ideal of what the Jedi should be; dedicated to helping everyone, incredibly empathetic, but also serene, wise, and very powerful. If the Council had listened to him none of the bad stuff would have happened. Plus: he has a noble end. Not like that you filth.

Mace Windu: it’s almost all in the performance, but there’s a swaggering sense of badassery to Windu. He’s basically the Jedi’s number two, the second most powerful member of the Council. He has some great lines, a sexy purple lightsaber, and gets to chop off Boba Fett’s dad’s head. He’s just so cool, dammit.

Yoda: in a way it’s a surprise to see him this low! But he’s the mentor of the Jedi Order, who manages to be incredibly wise and venerable but also has a quirky sense of humour and iconic speech pattern. There’s a sense that he maybe understands the failings of the Order, how they’re sleepwalking to disaster. He gets an awesome fight with Dooku, and arguably the best scene in the prequels (“we are what they grow beyond”).

Rey Skywalker: the sequels are depressingly short on Jedi – so much so that the only new one really is Rey herself. But as the lead across the trilogy, she’s terrific; skirting a line between light and dark in such a way that we did all wonder whether there might be a (temporary) fall on the cards. she’s empathetic and sees the good in others in a way reminiscent of Luke or Qui-Gonn but also carries a bit of the arrogance and physicality of Anakin. She was, all told, a very charismatic presence in the films. I hope they do eventually manage to get her new film off the ground.

Kyle Katarn: ah, here we go – onto the expanded universe at last. It was really the games that drew me into the franchise in between trilogies, so it stands that the star of the Jedi Knight games would have a presence here. I like his arc in the games: he basically goes from being a Han Solo stand-in in Dark Forces to being a secret Jedi, combining the two best aspects of the original trilogy. I love his look, his voice, and his beard.

Ahsoka Tano: like I said earlier, I’ve never watched a lot of the supplementary spin-off shows – whether that’s the likes of Clone Wars or the newer Disney ones. But Ahsoka is a cool new character even in the ones I’ve seen, starting out as a young apprentice to Anakin. She’s full of spirit even back then, an excitable force of nature. Whilst the specifics of her leaving the Order I’ve not seen, when she reappears as an adult – older, wiser, perhaps a bit more world-weary – she’s remains a great character in a different flavour, doing that cool thing of combining the best of the Order’s teachings with a more humanist approach to the galaxy. Plus she has two lightsabers.

Leia Organa: she’s only this low because across the whole saga she doesn’t really do a lot of Jedi-ing. She clearly has a connection with her brother, and is just a generally empathetic presence. It’s only in the sequels that we get any proper examples of her using the Force – subconsciously pulling herself across space, and the flashback of her training. So, as a result, we don’t really get a real sense of her as a “Jedi”; but, look, it’s Leia. She’s one of the best characters in movies. She’s gotta be on the list.

[the-firebird69]

It's not enough time in the day to see how many things to send me out but I suppose I should do that it's not getting listened to still so I'm saying it now in a memo and a special one and he has been getting away with it and we do not man it properly and he's been our father and mother have been demanding weekend do something to stop him and I heard him say that it is angry and just desperate and frustrated we started doing things to stop him and we saw his issuing tons of orders and we know about it and we're counting them countering them but we said this is way too many this guy is a complete spaz and we just started taking him apart and we noticed that he has way too many debts and there's too many people at him and there's too many things going wrong and he's already a disaster prior to the max running him through the mill now he's being separated out of his group and they're just they're detaching from him his offspring and his women. It's going to be a matter of time before others separate from him right now he is going to court and he's going to court over a bunch of stuff but he is mainly going to court for the gene Carroll abuse case and if it's really a case about him abusing her son's race and that's what they're saying and Gene Carroll is a woman that she has been known to be very abusive of our son and of his race as well she is a huge huge loser when it comes to mathematics around here are people of his race started to Target these idiots and find out there after any of them and started to mutilate them and that means most of them and they're after them right now and they said this these people say they can't stand this and things like that we know it's why and there's a whole bunch of them who are gone because of the recent orders and they're going through them very quickly they don't waste time so that's happening and that lady is a b**** she's a massive b**** and she is horrible she's the one in death race wicked with Trump and she's separated out from the other women and she's suing him and for some reason Sarah can't stand Trump think he's a different race and she's thinking of it like that cuz he's so different and she is not as bad but this b****** and people are wondering if Sarah is different and not really who Trump is saying she is and yeah that's the case so Trump says you're messing with my wife and her son says your wife may have been incapacitated at the time. And he says don't do it with me and he says I assure you I'm not going to but I will incapacitate you and we have as easy you're an easy prey you get killed a lot so they don't like the sound of it and Camilla Parker is not Sarah , it's the idiot. You can see where the idiot was when our son was with inchworm. And people want to know where and it's really not that hard but a lot of people didn't know who she was so he put it that way because this a****** is a dick and now he's got her in the public eye on purpose to say that it wasn't her and is he always self-deprecating loser that does that s*** no he wasn't both ways and all sorts of stuff it doesn't work now it's found out it's not her and a lot of people are checking and finding them doing stupid s*** and it's worthwhile there's more happening but this guy is going down really it's against his clones and her clones and they're nasty idiots. Then there's the other riders that's what we call them they're against Trump too they wan him to sit down and shut up and he won't. This is disgusting person it doesn't belong here and we're going to move him out now and people are actually getting ready to do so.

-there's a few other things happening to him but this is important so we're going to publish

Thor Freya

Olympus

Zues Hera

[deirdre-queen-blog]

[seryueeeee]

yo baeC asking for a friend, she wants a Michael afton piss kink💀🤞🏻

𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑'𝐒 • Michael Afton

# ☓☓ chrt. MICHAEL AFTON

ʚ ◠◠ syp. spending the whole day fulfilling your boyfriend's desire after leaving him so pent up because of work.

❑ cw. pi$$ kink/watersports, Sub reader, Dom Michael, Size kink, Belly bulge, hardcore sex, GN reader but more on the fem side.

DRIVING BACK home was exhausting after a weekend of endlessly pleasing the staffs in the company you worked on, heck, you were submerged with a hell ton of paperwork that you forgot to take care of yourself.

nonetheless, all you wished was to go back home, and be pampered by your loving boyfriend; Michael afton.

however, Michael was left alone and worried over your health. you never had the chance to answer his phone calls because of how occupied you were with your paperworks and other constitutional stuff, despite that; he knows you're busy, but the wariness began to engulf him whole to the point where he started overthinking.

you knew you had to so something to be forgiven because of your actions. and you came up with a plan to do so.

Michael had heard you pull off in the garage, and all of his worries started to wash off of his shoulders, knowing that you came back home; safe. but he was still mad deep inside because you left him to worry.

you looked worn out; scruffy uniform and your tousled hair, but you still managed to look pretty in his eyes. Michael smiled, opening his arms for you to crawl in, and you did so. the warmth of his body gave you solace and you were thankful.

"I'm sorry I left without telling you that I'll be busy." your voice; hoarse and tired. Michael nodded, tracing circles behind your back.

"it's fine, Y/N, you didn't intend to leave me, you're fine and that's what matters to me" your heart was beating faster, hearing his voice seems to put you on ease.

you leaned closer to his face, giving him a lovingly and lustful kiss, Michael indulged into it, nipping on your bottom lip for consent, and you immediately opened your mouth letting him wonder across your mouth.

you moaned, draping your arms to his neck as his was wrapped around your waist. tapping on his shoulders rapidly as you reached your limits. you both pulled away, chasing your breathe. Michael looked upon you; Lust filled eyes.

you leaned in to whisper in his ears "Michael, please devour me whole, I'm yours to toy with tonight. let your desires control you" your voice tainted with seduction; you noticed the tent on his Pajamas, he was pent up and couldn't hold himself no longer.

soon enough, Michael had took you in his arms, carrying you bridal style as he leads you to his bedroom; you know exactly where this would go down.

your uniform was ripped open, your wrist was harshly tied upon the bed frames. he was rough with you, and you liked it. he started nipping and toying with the hard bud. you couldn't help but let out a whimper.

Michael took your pants, leaving you on your underwear, you wanted to break free out of this cuffs. Michael seems to notice your struggle and chuckled.

"my, you have a lot of punishments to endure, you fucking slut." you swear you felt butterflies in the pit of your stomach, him talking down about you turned you on so much. Michael took of his bottoms, his dick sprung up, it was hard and twitching. his hands traveled down your thighs, stopping on your underwear, pulling it off and throwing it down your bed.

his hands wrapping around his already hard cock, pumping it up and down before putting it close to your hole. nudging your hole with his dick — you knew he was teasing you, you were so high with the pleasure that you started rocking your hips.

"look at how messy you are for me." he leaned in close to your neck, nipping and sucking on your neck as he starts thrusting inside of you. you were squirming underneath him, you looked so cute, so small and so weak. Michael bit his lip, seeing you all submissive for him made him go feral. he wanted to wreck you.

suddenly he shoved his whole length in, causing you to quiver, eyes wide and mouth open, you let out a mewl as he started moving in and out rapidly.

"AHhn.. Mikey — slow down pleasee.." you begged but he seems to pretend and not hear you as he wrecked your insides. you looked so ethereal with that cute bulge on your lower belly. he watched as you moan and beg for him.

soon enough you reached your high, moaning loudly. your lower body felt so numb; it's not even a surprise if you couldn't walk tomorrow or even for a week. you let Michael use you as you couldn't do nothing but to watch him grunt and moan; softly whimper as he humps you like a pillow.

Michael on the other hand was busy pleasuring himself. the sharp pain on his bladder made him shiver; but he was too drunk over the endless amount of pleasure you were giving him. you were too busy moaning underneath him, your vision clouded by lust and blur because of your tears.

Michael couldn't hold himself, back arching as he slams over you incredibly fast. you felt his dick twitch inside of you as he lets out a string of curses after curses.

"fuck fuck fuck fuck! oh God, you feel so good..! I wanna cum, I wanna fill you up inside." he whimpers.

warm liquid, gushed inside of you. as he pisses himself inside of your tight hole. it felt so hot and you felt so full. you moaned, feeling his hot piss and cum spill inside of you. reaching your high once again as you shuddered underneath him. legs feeling numb as his piss and cum started flowing out of your poor abused hole.

Michael kept himself inside of you, as he collapsed right on top of your warm chest, your heartbeat was fast, and you were breathing way too hard.

slowly, your drowsiness took over you, as your eyes started closing.

[A/N] GARGLING BFJSJF I WAS TRYING MY BEST NOT TO LAUGH WHILE MAKING THIS RIGHT BESIDE MY MOM BWHAHAJAJFJS anywayyy, hope y'all enjoyed this oml also tysm for 200 follows :")))) Ilygsm <3333 😭😭💖💖

[sableseb]

hi! congrats on 500!!! you deserve it, your work is *chefs kiss*

for your sleepover this weekend, can i get a one shot where it’s reader’s birthday & bucky pampers her. gives her a nice bath, maybe even attempts to paint her nails, etc etc. then he starts to give her a massage & things turn sexual pretty quickly. she ends up being the one on top, & there’s many orgasms for her because she’s the birthday girl, so of course bucky is gonna make sure she’s feeling her absolute best.

ya know, lots of face riding, breeding kink, some choking, maybe spit kink, food play(?👀)....whatever you feel is best honestly:)

thank you, & i hope you have a fun sleepover!!!💕

Thank you tons!🥺❤️ I genuinely loved the idea of this request🥵 I hope you like!

word count: 1.9k

warnings: smut, fingering, face riding, breeding kink, choking, biting

tags: @fuckandfluff @meetmeatyourworst @greeneyedblondie44

“Buck! Stop it, you’re tickling me.” you say in between giggles, trying to jerk your foot away from his grasp. You’re sitting in the tub, bubbles and flowers lay scattered through the warm water as your boyfriend is perched outside the bath trying his best to give you a foot rub.

“Well, this would be a lot easier if you’d just stay still for two seconds.” he mumbles, a smirk forming on his face.

Bucky always goes above and beyond for you, but when it’s your birthday, he always makes sure to give it his all. This year you didn't want to do much to celebrate your milestone. All you told him was that you wanted to spend the whole day with him and only him.

Of course, he happily obliged. He hasn’t let you lift a finger. He’s done all the cooking and cleaning for you. He hardly even let you leave the bed.

You sink lower into the tub as you feel your muscles relax beneath the steaming water. Bucky’s hands are working wonders on the balls of your feet and you can’t help but to let out hums of contentment. You can’t remember a time that you’ve felt so relaxed.

After almost an hour of pampering, he helps you step out of the bath, wrapping a fluffy, white towel around your body. You lean into his chest and lay your head just below his chin. “Thank you, Buck. Best birthday by far.” you whisper.

He pulls away to look down at you. His girl has him whipped and he’s not afraid to admit it. How can he not be with your doe eyes and perfectly pink lips? “The night’s not over yet, doll.” 

“Oh?” you question. “What did you have in mind, Barnes?”

“You’ll see, hun.”

He takes your hand in his and leads you to the master bedroom. He motions you to lay on your stomach. You do so and he pulls the towel down to lay just above the curve of your backside.

Bucky straddles your waist and brings his hands up to your back. You melt into his firm caresses. The cool metal on his left hand feels nice against your humid skin from the heated water. The right works in tandem, getting out all the little kinks that have built up in your muscles.

“A foot rub, now a back rub? You’re too good to me.” you tell him, voice muffled a bit from your cheek is pressing against the fabric of the blanket resting atop the bed.

“Oh, doll. This is just a little warm up.”

He dips his head down to press chaste kisses along your shoulders and neck. His lips make a shudder run through your relaxed body. His hands move down and grip the towel that’s covering your lower half. Without a second thought, Bucky pulls the towel away to expose your perfectly round ass.

He grips the flesh, grabbing and pulling, spreading them apart, giving a smack here and there. You find your hips rising, trying to push against him, needing some sort of friction on your aching pussy.

“How many times does the birthday girl wanna cum, hm?” he asks as he watches you squirm, eyes catching wetness glistening between your thighs.

“As many times as you’ll let me.”

Bucky groans, he knows how much you love the orgasms he can bring you. It makes a sense of pride swell in his chest that a woman such as yourself wants him as much as he wants you.

He moves off you. “On your knees, baby.”

You happily oblige, chest pressed firmly against the mattress, hands gripping the blanket, anticipating his next move. You feel him move behind you once more. This time, cool metal fingers dance along your thighs.

Bucky’s eyes feast on your pussy all spread out and practically dripping on the bed below. His fingers finally make contact with your clit, rubbing slow circles against the sensitive flesh.

Your moans get caught in your throat with each rotation of his wrist. You work yourself against his hand, almost humping his palm.

“Look at you, fucking yourself on my hand. I know that cunt wants to cum.”

“Please. F- finger me.” you gasp.

With a smirk, he inserts a metal digit. Who is he to deny his girl on her special day? He languidly pushes in and out of your tight channel. Your legs spread farther apart, knees digging into the bed. You bounce back against his finger, puffs of air leaving your mouth as he works you effortlessly into a frenzy.

There’s a coil that starts to wind and Bucky takes notice by the way your thighs start to shake and your toes start to curl. He adds another finger, stretching you out even more.

He picks up his speed, watching the way your ass ripples against the harsh pace of his arm. Your moans get louder as he curls his fingers to find that spot that makes you see white.

His flesh hand snakes it’s way around your front, pads of his fingers meeting your swollen clit once more.

“Bucky, oh fuck. Right there baby, right there.”

“Know how much my girl loves to come around my fingers, c’mon, cum for me, doll.”

His hands keep moving, gaining momentum the more he sees you squirm. You’re close, heat overtakes your back, clit pulsing under his finger tips, drool leaking out the sides of your mouth. Bucky leans down to bite your ass. The harsh sting sends you over the edge and you let go with a cry.

He helps you ride it out, fingers slowing down just enough to send aftershocks through your core.

“That’a girl.” he praises, pulling his hands away from you.

Sweat sticks to your skin and you’re trying to even your breathing out. You raise up, making room for Bucky, who is making himself comfortable on his back in the middle of the bed. He turns his head to look at you, a slight smirk appears.

“Come fuck my face, baby.”

The words make you clench around nothing. Bucky lets you take the reins from time to time, but it’s been a moment since you have. As much as you love having him in control, you love controlling the pace just as much.

You throw a leg over his head, situating yourself on your knees to hover just above that sinful mouth. It takes all of Bucky’s willpower to not grab you and shove you on his face. He wants you to use him for your pleasure.

Placing your hand on your drenched cunt, you pull your lips apart, giving the man below you a perfect view of your clenching hole and engorged bundle of nerves.

He audibly groans at the sight. “Such a pretty pussy.”

Slowly, you sink onto his tongue. Whimpers escape your lips as he licks each fold and teases your entrance.

You start to grind back and forth on his face, his stubble adding a delicious burn between your thighs. Your hands fly up to grab your breasts. You tug and knead, twisting your sensitive nipples.

Each grunt Bucky lets out adds to your pleasure. Little vibrations find your clit, making you try to lift away, but his hands find purchase on your waist, pulling you back down to eat you out like you’re his last meal.

You fall forward, arms holding your weight while you continue to mercilessly move your hips against Bucky’s face. Another coil is forming, that same heat returning as he bites and sucks.

“Suck my clit, baby.” you plead, tears forming around your eyes.

His lips automatically wrap around the swollen flesh. You jerk, a debauched moan escaping your chest.

“Ah, fuck. Right there, don’t fucking stop.”

He wouldn’t dream of it. He keeps sucking until your flows of “yes” and “Bucky” stop and your body goes stiff. He pulls back, gasping for air. Your juices cover the entire lower half of his face, lips and nose glistening.

You collapse on the bed next to him. Getting up abruptly, he sheds his clothes until he’s completely bare. You can’t help but to glance down at his cock. It’s swollen to the point that it looks painful. Angry veins appear along his shaft, the tip leaking precum. Suddenly, you find yourself turned on all over again.

He makes his way back to you, slotting himself between your sticky thighs. He brings you in for a kiss. His tongue slipping past your lips, making sure you can taste yourself on him.

Bucky pulls away, giving you a quick peck before trailing kisses along your neck. He makes his way up to your ear while lining himself up to your entrance. “Know you got one more for me. Can you give me one more, doll?”

“Yes.”

And that simple word is all it takes for Bucky to fully sheath himself inside you. Your warm walls welcome him with ease. Finally being wrapped around something has him let out a breath of satisfaction. You feel so wet, so tight.

He can’t control himself, he’s fucking into you with such a force that the bed beats against the wall. You feel so full, his thickness is rubbing you in all the right places, his tip keeps kissing your cervix.

Grabbing your throat, he grounds himself, pounding into you as he watches your chest bounce with each snap. He squeezes a little harder, knowing how you love your air way constricted. Especially with his sizable hand.

Your eyes roll in the back of your head, the pleasure is almost too much. You’re still overly sensitive from the last two orgasms. Bucky brushes his nose against yours, keeping eye contact as his thrusts keep getting faster, chasing his release.

“How’d you like me to fuck a baby into you? Have you all round with my child. That’d be a good present for you, wouldn’t it be, gorgeous?”

You couldn’t think straight. His words fuel a desire you didn’t know you had. The squelching sounds grow louder as wetness is pooling on the comforter below.

“Tell me you want my cum.” he snarls. “Tell me to fill you up.”

“Please,” you rasp against the pressure of his hand, “want you to cum in me so badly. Fill me up, James.”

He lets out a broken moan as his climax approaches. His thighs and abdomen start to pull taut, he needs you to cum first so he can feel your walls clench and pulse around him.

His hand leaves your throat, he brings your legs up to his shoulders. The new angle has you seeing stars. The pointed strokes inside your tender pussy have your feet locking behind his head.

After a few more thrusts, you come undone. Your body locks up and your walls lock onto Bucky’s dick, almost making it impossible for him to pull back.

“Fuck.” he moans.

Your climax triggers his. He’s cumming deep into your womb. The hot ropes soothing the light pain accumulated inside you from being overworked.

Your legs fall limp, Bucky still resting snugly between them. His lips find yours for a sloppy kiss. Your tongue dances with his, seeming to want to taste him for all his worth.

Pulling away, you trace his jaw with the tip of your nose, inhaling his musky scent. “We need to have birthday sex every day.” you chuckle.

“That we do, doll. That we do.”