#The Tipsy Bison | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sixhours · 2 months ago

Text

haunting me

What if Joel was a ghost?

Rating: Teen Words: 4.9k Tags: Major Character Deaths, The Last of Us, The Last of Us (HBO), Joel & Ellie, Joel Miller, Ellie Williams, Tess Servopoulos, Marlene, Tommy Miller, canon divergence, not really a happy ending sorry, ghost AU, hurt/comfort, angst, canon-typical violence, implied sexual assault, Joel is a ghost so he's dead, I've probably forgotten some so please let me know <3

Notes: This is a bit different from my usual style, just in time for spooky season. 👻

This time, the guy doesn’t miss.

And the guy is a girl. A fuckin’ teenager.

Either she’s a crack shot or she got really fuckin’ lucky, because he’s on the floor with a bullet in his brain before he can warn Tess.

It should be a relief to be dead.

He waits for the light. For whatever is supposed to happen now. He’s never been religious, but he always believed there had to be something more…after.

Because Sarah deserved that.

He, apparently, does not. Because he’s forced to watch this exchange between Tess and Marlene and the little shit who murdered him, and he’s not going anywhere.

Well, shit.

He fails at everything.

He failed to protect Sarah.

He failed to keep Tommy from running off with the Fireflies.

And now he fails at fuckin’ dying.

He has no legs, no arms, no body that he can see. He appears to be attached to Tess. She’s grabbed the kid by the arm and they're hauling ass, and he’s forced to drift along.

The fact that she doesn’t shed a tear over his dead body should probably hurt more than it does. What does he care? He’s dead.

He tries to stay. Focuses all his energy on just…staying put.

It works until it doesn’t.

Tess gets far enough away and he starts to feel this…pull. Someone is ripping out his guts, using them like a tether. Not that he has a body to speak of, not that he can feel pain, but it’s…bad.

Assholes like Robert used to say that Tess kept Joel on a short leash.

Guess they weren’t wrong.

~*~

They leave the QZ.

Time has gone sideways. It’s like he’s in a fever dream, cycling in and out of consciousness.

The kid falls asleep, and he’s forced to watch as Tess breaks down–as much as Tess ever breaks down. He can count on one hand the number of times he’s seen her cry.

It’s maybe a couple tears, that’s what his life means to her. It’s more than he deserves.

It’s the first time he tries to interact with this strange un-body. He focuses all his energy on reaching out, imagines himself with a hand, with fingers–and surprisingly, it works. It’s faint, but he can feel it, an extension of his essence, a literal phantom limb.

Just one touch. A hand on the shoulder. That’s all he needs.

I’m here.

He gets a violent shiver for the trouble. She pulls her jacket more firmly around her shoulders and wipes her eyes.

So much for that.

~*~

Sometimes he could swear the kid can see him.

She looks at him like she’s–well, like she’s seen a damn ghost.

The State House was a fuckin’ mess. If it were up to Joel, they’d have turned right the fuck around and took the kid back to the QZ and washed their hands of it.

Besides, the little murderer shot him. He’d like to remind Tess of this fact.

He can’t.

And Tess is too fuckin’ stubborn. Stubborn and hopeful. The worst combination.

So they’re going to Bill and Frank’s.

~*~

Bill and Frank are dead.

Joel holds out a tiny bit of hope for their ghosts to linger.

He never much cared for talking in life, but it turns out hanging over the shoulder of your partner without any way to talk to her is pretty fuckin’ lonely.

But there’s nothing there that Joel can see or feel or hear. No trace of their souls, just two more bodies. He makes the mistake of floating through the locked door to their bedroom and wishes he hadn’t.

He supposes they didn’t have any unfinished business.

Joel didn’t think he did, either, but…here he is.

There’s a letter–addressed to him, ironically–and the keys to that piece-of-shit Chevy S10.

That's why men like you and me are here: We have a job to do.

~*~

He learns more than he ever wanted to know about his murderer.

Her name is Ellie. She’s fourteen, orphaned. Really desperate to hold a fuckin’ gun, but thankfully Tess is holding firm on that count. She won’t shut the fuck up.

She’s immune.

But what does he care? Dead people can’t be infected.

The kicker is, Tess likes the damn kid. She doesn’t say it, but he can tell.

He always thought she’d be a good mother. He’s pretty sure she was, once. Outbreak Day, both of them trashed and she said his name under her breath like a prayer.

Charlie.

Tess has never heard his daughter’s name.

It seems really fuckin’ unfair to be dead and still feel like he’s dying.

~*~

They’re camped out somewhere in the forest in Western Massachusetts when she asks.

“Tess?”

“What?”

“Do you believe in ghosts?”

The kid is looking right at him the whole damn time. It’d be unnerving if he had any nerves.

Tess snorts. “I dunno, kid. Why do you ask?”

A long pause. The kid’s eyes on him are fire-bright.

“No reason.”

~*~

It’s a long fuckin’ drive. Joel spends most of it disassociating, or whatever the ghost equivalent is.

At some point, the little murderer pulls out a book of shitty puns and he wishes he were dead for real.

Tess pretends to be annoyed but he catches her smirking before long.

She’s so good with her. It hurts to watch.

He learns to ignore the kid’s looks. Sometimes he channels that energy, reaches out a hand–it’s getting easier with practice–and it’s like she jumps when he touches her. Like she actually feels something more than a chill.

Tess still isn’t any closer.

He doesn’t sleep. Not like he can get tired, anyway.

He wanders their campsite like a guard. As if he could do anything about it if something goes bad aside from giving their attacker a bad case of goosebumps. But they don’t run into anyone.

Not ‘til Kansas City.

~*~

She shoulda gone the fuck around.

It feels like he’s watching a horror movie. No matter how much he screams, the outcome never changes.

They make it through the first shootout, but Tess doesn’t see one of ‘em coming. Then she’s on her back being choked and Joel can’t do a damn thing about it.

What happens if Tess dies? Does he die, too?

Again?

Seems like he’s about to find out.

Desperate, he goes to the little murderer. He knows she has a gun now, knows she stole it from Bill and Frank’s when Tess wasn’t looking.

No time to think about it.

He summons his energy and tries with all his might to guide her hand.

The shot that killed him must have been a fluke because she almost misses the kid from point-blank range. But Tess is saved.

Close fuckin’ call.

~*~

They barely make it out of the city alive.

He watches helplessly as Tess snipes at the infected and tries to clear a path for the kid to get free. Tess was never as good a shot as him, but she’s holding her own.

By some miracle, she manages not to shoot the damn kid.

(Why he gives a shit about that, he doesn’t know.)

Tess has grown attached. He can see it in the way she looks at her, sees the fierce, protective mama bear she must have been. Is becoming.

Best not to think about that.

Neither Henry or Sam seem to feel Joel’s presence, and that’s just fine.

They don’t last long, anyway.

~*~

It’s a long fuckin’ walk to Wyoming.

The little murderer still looks at him weird sometimes, but after the whole Henry and Sam thing, she’s mostly quiet. Tess ain’t too chipper, either.

By the time they cross the state lines, it’s cold. Or Joel assumes it’s cold–there’s snow underfoot and the wind blows Tess’ golden hair around her chapped cheeks.

God, he wishes he could feel those strands between his fingers one more time.

Why she hasn’t given up on this little mission is beyond him. More than once, he wishes she’d drop the damn kid at the nearest QZ and call it a draw.

But no. Tess remains stubborn, and she likes the kid, and Joel is tethered to his partner for whatever godforsaken reason.

Fate is a weird son-of-a-bitch.

Because now they’re looking for Tommy.

~*~

Joel died looking every one of his fifty-six years and then some.

Tommy looks like he’s aged backward. Joel can practically smell the rosemary oil in his hair.

Damn, he missed his brother.

Tess gives Tommy some shit about his little disappearing act. Not nearly enough, in Joel’s estimation, but it’s not like he gets a say.

Tommy sheds a tear over Joel, but he doesn’t look surprised. The asshole went and got himself married. They’re having a kid.

Idiot.

Joel tries to hug him. Just once. When he’s standing with his new wife at the movies.

It goes about the way he’d expected. Tommy checks the doors for a draft.

There’s some Firefly base down in Colorado. They’re going south.

~*~

Colorado.

The hunters come, four of ‘em.

All he can do is watch.

~*~

Tess is gone.

To give the kid credit, she’s resourceful in a crisis. Manages to get Tess to a nearby house, clears the place the way she was taught, gets her on a mattress and drags her to the basement.

But it’s not enough. She’s bleeding too much.

Joel watches his partner slip away.

He waits to disappear. No more leash, no more tether. Nothing chaining him to this world.

When that doesn’t happen, he waits for her to appear beside him. Maybe he’ll have company.

But she doesn’t.

And then…there’s still the damn kid.

She’s pretty broken up about it. Curled over Tess’ cold body, pleading and swiping at her eyes. Joel almost channels his energy into trying to comfort her then thinks better of it. So far all he’s managed to do is make people cold.

Then she looks up. That uneasy stare, squinting. Right at him.

Wide eyes, big brown saucers in her too-small head. Her breath is a wisp of vapor in the stale basement air.

“I knew it!”

~*~

“You’re–you’re the–the one I–”

There’s no fuckin’ way.

“Are you a fucking ghost?”

“I–”

It’s the first time he’s tried to speak since he was killed. It comes out as a rasp, a moan.

It scares her.

It scares him.

“You–you can…hear me?”

She nods jerkily, pressing herself against the far wall with Tess’ body between them. Her chest heaves, fast and shallow.

“Kid, don’t–”

She passes out.

~*~

He’s kneeling beside her. Floating, more like. Although something about her recognizing him has him feeling…more solid. Corporeal.

She jerks awake at his touch, the faintest drag of a finger against her cheek.

She screams. He cringes.

“You’re a fucking ghost! How the fuck–what–”

He doesn’t have an answer for that.

“I–I shot you,” she says. “I killed you. You were–you were dead and I thought–I thought I saw–holy fuck.”

His damn mouth won’t move. He’s forgotten he can speak.

“Joel? That’s your name, right? Tess said–said you were Joel.”

She can hear him. She can see him.

Holy fuck is right.

She reaches out and he feels it. He feels her hand on his arm. It’s not like before, more like…like the way you can feel a cloud. But it’s there.

Then she pokes at him. Again and again, jabbing her finger into his cloud-arm, scrunching her fingers, testing him like clay. He feels every single touch.

“Cut that out,” he snaps, voice still rusty. She jerks back as if afraid.

Then she grins.

“This is so fucking cool.”

~*~

No time to figure it out.

They were followed.

Shoulda seen that coming. Blood trail and hoofprints from where Tess fell, it was only a matter of time. So fuckin’ stupid.

But she’s just a kid.

“You gotta go,” he says. “Go to Tommy. Go north.”

She nods, swallows hard. Then she’s pounding up the stairs. He hears the garage door rattle open, the sound of hoofprints overhead. He ascends to the surface so he can watch her disappear.

She’ll be safe. Tommy will take her in.

And then he feels that awful, sickening pull.

One last look at the body on the mattress, his partner. His friend. His…

He sends the thought out to the ether before he’s dragged away.

Tess? I’m sorry.

He’s been attached to the damn kid this whole time.

~*~

Things get real bad after that.

She doesn’t make it out of the suburb before the horse is shot. Joel is forced to watch as she’s thrown, knocked unconscious.

They’re dragged to some shitty resort town; her by the bad men, him tethered to her.

When she wakes, he’s the first thing she sees.

They’re in a cage. Or she is. At least he can look around, get the lay of the land. For all the fuckin’ good it does.

He can feel her fear like a physical ache.

“Joel,” she pleads in a whisper. “I don’t know what to do.”

This kid, the kid who fuckin’ shot him.

“I know,” he says, promises: “We’re gonna get you out.”

~*~

Turns out being a ghost makes him pretty fuckin’ useless.

He casts himself out of the building as far as he can. He finds the bodies strung up like slaughtered hogs. He finds the dead horse. He finds her backpack.

He can’t do a damn thing about any of it.

When David comes back, she breaks his finger and he bloodies her face against the bars of the cell.

The sight sets a fire inside him.

Then they haul her out. Chopping block. Joel throws himself at the assholes but it does no good. It hurts, like there’s some kind of force field, a black edge he can’t cross.

Meanwhile, Ellie struggles and uses that smartass mouth to get herself free. Attagirl.

She keeps her eyes on Joel the whole time.

She ain’t stupid, this one. Then there’s a cleaver embedded in one of their necks, and Joel yells at her to run.

She does.

So does David. Cat and mouse through the whole goddamned restaurant. She sets the place on fire.

If Joel had a heart it would be clawing at his ribs like a wild animal.

Then she’s straining and struggling underneath the leader of the fuckin’ cannibal cult.

Joel doesn’t think, all his protective instincts send him lunging forward. He throws his whole being into it, past the black edge, past the force field, until he feels the resistance give and their bodies merge and the shock of it stills the other man for one precious, infinite second.

It takes everything he has to hold him. It’s just barely enough.

Ellie grabs the cleaver. Joel is flung out of David’s body like a rubber band snapping violently back.

There’s so much blood.

The whole town burns at their backs.

Good fuckin’ riddance.

~*~

Later, bruised and bloodied and holed up in a shack somewhere.

“You need to go back to Tommy. He’ll take care of you.”

“I need to find the Fireflies.”

“Kid–”

“We’re going to Salt Lake City.”

“Not a fuckin’ chance.”

“You have to come with me. You’re, like, stuck to me, right? You don’t have a choice.”

She’s not wrong about that.

The little shit.

But he has to try, one last time.

“Kid, you can’t–you’ll never make it alone.”

“I’m not alone. I have you.”

~*~

Never mind infected or raiders or cannibal cults, the kid will be lucky if she doesn’t freeze to death. Tess taught her a lot on the road, but not enough to get her through a brutal winter in the mountains.

At some point, they have to admit defeat. Or she does. The snow’s too deep, the wind too biting, the resources too scarce.

They hole up in an abandoned town to wait out the cold, and he shows her how to survive.

Gotta have somethin’ to pass the time, anyway.

That’s what he tells himself.

~*~

“Can you fly?”

“No.”

“Do you get tired?”

“No.”

“How did you get to be a ghost?”

“Someone shot me,” he says flatly.

“Okaaaay, guess I deserve that. But I mean–I mean why didn’t you go toward the light or whatever?”

“I dunno.”

“C’mon, there must be some reason. Do you have, like, unfinished business?”

“No.”

“Then why are you still here, man?”

“Wish I knew, kid.”

“Oh, oh wait! Are there other ghosts? Can you like, see dead people everywhere? Like in that movie?”

She’s practically vibrating. This fuckin’ kid.

“No.”

“But what if there are? What if–”

“You ask a lotta fuckin’ questions,” he sighs.

“Yes,” she says, smug little thing. “I do.”

~*~

Turns out, Joel is pretty good at finding game. He’s silent, no tread to scare off the rabbits or deer, and he has a decent range–maybe half a mile or so. Can even get some height if he focuses enough, scanning the woods from higher up.

He shows her how to track, how to set snares, how to scavenge.

The kid’s a decent shot…when she’s not talkin’ his fuckin’ ear off.

She does the bloody work of dressing their kills. He walks her through it step by step and soon she’s eating roasted rabbit over a roaring fire, grease dripping down her chin.

Pearls of teenage wisdom fall from her lips like rain.

“They should call it undressing. Because it’s like, y’know. Undressing…from the inside.”

Jesus Christ.

~*~

He can’t hunt, but he can teach her how.

He can’t build a fire, but he can wake her up when it starts to die.

He can’t fight for her, but he can keep watch.

He can’t keep her warm, but he can keep her company.

Maybe he’s not so useless after all.

~*~

Sometimes he forgets she’s just a kid.

Until it’s the middle of the night and she’s shuddering awake and leaking tears and struggling for breath. Alone, but not.

Tess always shivered.

Ellie doesn’t. She leans into him before he can stop her, seeking comfort like another little girl a lifetime ago, and it’s almost…warm. Almost like before.

He didn’t know he could miss it so much.

When he puts his arms around her for the first time, he feels more alive than he has in years.

“You’re okay, baby girl. I got you.”

~*~

She survives the winter.

They walk for days.

He tells her about Tommy. He tells her about life Before. He teaches her about football and contracting.

He tells her about Sarah.

He watches her face light up at the sight of a giraffe.

Everything inside him wants to turn tail and run back to Jackson. He can’t, because she won’t.

Won’t stop him from tryin’, though.

“You don’t have to do this. You know that, right?”

“What do you mean?”

“You don’t owe Marlene, you don’t owe the Fireflies, you don’t owe ‘em anythin’. You can go back to Jackson. Be a normal kid.”

She scoffs, looking at her arm.

“I passed normal a long time ago, dude.”

~*~

And then they find the hospital.

He has to remind her to stop looking at him when she talks to Marlene.

“They’re gonna think you’re nuts.”

“I’m talking to a fucking ghost. I probably am.”

They settle her in a room. Marlene explains what will happen. It will be soon; tomorrow.

“It’s a straightforward procedure. No pain. We put you under, we do the op, then we’ll send you on your way.”

He has a bad feeling about this.

~*~

He wanders the hospital halls while she sleeps, drawn to a low light, hushed voices. Early morning sun just cresting the horizon.

He hears brain surgery and harvest and no recovery.

He hears chance and theory and hopefully.

“And you’re sure someone won’t come looking for her?”

“I told you, she’s an orphan.”

“But how the hell did she make it here by herself?”

“Jesus, Jerry. Relax.”

“I don’t like it.”

“You don’t have to fucking like it. You just have to do the operation.”

~*~

He shakes her awake.

“We gotta go. They’re gonna kill you.”

“What? But Marlene said–”

“She lied.”

She’s hesitating. Why the fuck is she hesitating?

Her voice goes small. “What if…what if I still want to do it?”

“You’re not understandin’ me, kid. They don’t even know if this thing’ll work, and you’ll be dead. Gone.”

She’s picking her damn cuticles bloody.

“But…but all this…can’t be for nothing,” she says. “Riley and Tess and Sam and Henry, and–and even you. You died because of me. Don’t you want that to…to mean something?”

“Look, kid, I've been both places. You make meaning by livin’. Not dyin’.”

She doesn’t believe him. She has to believe him.

Hand to her shoulder, he gets in her face. “Do you trust me?”

She swallows hard, nods.

“Ellie? Who are you talking to?”

Too late.

Marlene, at the door.

~*~

In the end, Marlene doesn’t give her a choice.

They get more than they bargained for, but one underfed little girl is no match for a team of soldiers.

Dragging her under her arms as she screams and claws. She fights all the way to the table, she fights as they’re putting the mask on to sedate her, she fights until her last breath.

And Joel fights, too. If he did it with David, he can do it again. He has to fuckin’ try.

There’s that resistance again, that force field, that dark black line. He presses into it, pushes past the pain, and finds himself in control.

He has…a body. He looks down. Sees hands and arms and legs and feet and a torso clad in blue scrubs. Feels the paper mask over his face and the heat of his own breath.

Not his own breath.

His control wavers. Something is fighting him. He’s trapped inside the other man, using him like a tool.

It feels wrong. It feels amazing.

No time to waste.

He picks up a scalpel. The doctor slits his own throat.

~*~

As before, he’s slammed violently out of the doctor’s body when the man begins to die. Three nurses scramble to stop the bleeding, but Joel only sees the girl on the table.

He’s gotta get her out.

“Ellie!”

He puts his whole ghostly being into it. She stirs, but doesn’t wake. Fuck.

“C’mon, kid, you gotta wake up.”

Nothing.

“Please, Ellie,” he murmurs, faint brush of a hand to her cheek. “Ellie. Please.”

The warmth of her skin against his fingers.

He can touch her.

If he can touch her–

He picks her up. Carries her like he used to carry a different little girl to bed.

To the terrified nurses, her body appears to float off the operating table. He leverages Ellie’s limp form to open the swinging door and they tumble into the hallway.

Shouting. Panic. Fireflies running at them.

Gunshots.

No. Not again. Not again not again not–

“Don’t fucking shoot!”

Marlene’s voice, frantic and frayed.

Wouldn’t wanna damage the fuckin’ cargo.

Joel runs.

~*~

He’s never been more thankful to be dead. Lacking a body’s demands for oxygen and blood and muscle, he doesn’t tire, doesn’t slow, doesn’t leave tracks.

He carries her until she starts to turn in his arms, eyes blinking and struggling to focus. He can’t open doors or carry her through walls.

Shit.

Barring a better option, he tucks them into an alley. No idea how far they’ve gone from the hospital, no idea how many are following, no idea how they’ll get out of the city.

She’s shaky on her legs. Weak. Cold.

But she’s alive.

~*~

It’s another long haul back to Jackson.

Nothin’ they can’t handle.

“What if they come for me?”

“Tommy can protect you.”

“But–what if–”

“You saw Jackson…you saw the walls. There’s a place for you. They’ll keep you safe.”

“...you really think so?”

“I know so.”

“Joel?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry I, like…shot you.”

What the hell is he supposed to say to that?

Not like she can take back the bullet. And if she could, well…she wouldn’t be alive right now.

Looking back, he’s not sure what he was doing could be called living, anyway.

“Don’t worry about it, kiddo.”

~*~

They’re almost to Jackson when he starts to fade.

It’s subtle. He feels it like a weakness, a breathlessness without breath. Feels himself growing less…solid. Like if he were to try to put a hand on her shoulder, it might pass through.

He doesn’t tell her. What would be the point? Not like he can control it.

But it worries him all the same.

“Joel! You coming?”

She’s excited. Cheeks flushed from the hike, eyes bright.

“Yep. Should be just over that ridge.”

~*~

He feels like an intruder in his brother’s home.

S’pose he is, in a way. A haunt. A spook.

Ellie’s leg is shaking, knee bouncing up and down. She’s chewing on her goddamned nails again. Gonna get an infection if she keeps that up.

He grabs her hand. The connection feels weak, but he can still hold on.

For now.

They’re waiting in the kitchen for Tommy.

“What the fuck am I supposed to say?” she hisses.

“Just tell him the truth.”

“You know what they do to fifteen-year-olds who have imaginary friends, right?”

“I ain’t imaginary.”

“Says you.”

Just for that, he pinches her. Not hard, just enough.

“Ow!”

“Who’re you talking to?”

Ellie jumps. Tommy, at the door, fresh as a fuckin’ daisy.

“I…I need to tell you something.”

~*~

“So he’s…right here?”

“Yep.”

“An’ you can see him?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Look, kid–”

“I know, it sounds fucking crazy. But he’s here. He’s been with me the whole time. Since I–y’know.”

She mimes firing a gun. Tommy has that look on his face like he’s sucked on a lemon. Well, Joel probably would too, if he weren’t already dead.

Well, he’s pretty sure he can fix this, at least. He tells Ellie what to say.

“Joel says…her-man-eat-oh? Is that–is that like, code or something?”

Tommy’s Adam's apple bobs in his throat. “You, uh, you speak Spanish?”

Christ, his brother can be dense as a brick.

“No, I don’t fucking speak Spanish,” Ellie huffs. “Joel said I should call you that. And that��ugh, do I have to?”

She looks up at him, grimacing. He nods.

“So fucking gross,” she whispers. “He says…he says you have a birthmark on your ass. It’s shaped like a heart.”

Tommy’s face goes white as a sheet.

Huh, Joel’d been expecting beet red.

Who’s the ghost now, little brother?

“Fuck,” Tommy breathes, voice breaking. “I–I can’t–fuck. Joel–”

Ellie tells him the rest.

I’m sorry.

I love you.

Take care of her.

~*~

He lingers.

As though whatever twist of fate or chance or universal decree brought them together wants to make sure she has a place.

But for the first time since he died, he’s tired. The kind of deep, aching exhaustion that even decades of sleep can’t fix.

He’s still tethered to her. It takes more than he has to wander, so he doesn’t. He goes where she goes. To the stables, the cafeteria, the school.

She learns how to ride. She makes friends.

She holds his nephew.

Tommy makes a damn good father of two.

~*~

The first leaves are just starting to turn.

Ellie sketches in her journal on the porch swing, Joel at her side.

She puts down her pencil. Looks over at him.

“You’re flickering again.”

He knows. He can feel it, the world around him is a radio frequency tuning in and out.

“Sometimes it’s like…I look around and you’re not there,” she murmurs. “Then I blink, and you’re back.”

She leans into him, barely there, picking at her fingers. He plants a kiss on her forehead, imagines he can breathe her in.

“I’m scared…one of these times…”

The thought stays unfinished. The swing rocks gently beneath them.

“I know, baby. I know.”

~*~

She’s wrapped in a blanket, curled on her side, fighting sleep. Eyes fixed on him.

Like she knows he won’t be there come morning.

The pull is different this time. Gentler. He doesn’t fight it, doesn't have the strength.

He tries to wipe away her tears. He can’t, can’t make the connection last. The most he can do is stir the wispy hairs at her temple and then it takes all his effort. He settles for putting his hand over hers, the sensation tingling faintly like static electricity.

Tommy and Maria will protect her. She’ll be safe in Jackson, safe within the walls. She’ll have a home, a family, a life. The kind of love he never could have given when he was still breathing.

Because he had a job to do.

He’s so damn tired.

“Joel?”

“Yeah?”

Voice thick, eyes wet. “Where will you go?”

“I…I don’t know.”

“Will you remember me?”

“Always, baby girl.”

It’s a promise.

Her sigh trails off in a yawn. “Can you stay? ‘Til I fall asleep?”

It takes no time.

Her eyes flutter shut, her breathing deepens.

He falls asleep holding her hand.

~*~

Early morning sun pouring through the windows, golden rays of pure light. Ellie is a glow beside him, so full of life it’s blinding. He has to look away.

Then a familiar voice crosses twenty-years of memory, calling him home.

Dad?

#the last of us fanfic #the last of us fanfiction #ghost!joel au #joel and ellie #joel williams fanfic #the tipsy bison #happy halloween

71 notes · View notes

adhdprincess · 4 months ago

Text

Thinking about how Ellie and Joel's first instinct is to hug dead family.

(Concept art from "The Art of The Last of Us 2" book)

#sorry for the pain #tw death #the last of us #the tipsy bison #tlou art #tlou ellie #tlou joel #ellie williams #joel miller #tlou headcanons

211 notes · View notes

ellstronaut · 8 months ago

Text

Dina is so real for this like girlie ain’t playing around “you’ve made your bed now lie in it”

#ellie williams #ellie x dina #dina tlou #the tipsy bison #tipsy bison

175 notes · View notes

anthony-crowleys-left-nut · 4 months ago

Text

#original #tlou #joel miller #hbo tlou #tlou hbo #the last of us #the last of us hbo #hbo the last of us #pedro pascal #tlou memes #tlou meme #the tipsy bison

63 notes · View notes

abbysthighs · 11 months ago

Text

More lesbian hand content >

#tlou2 #tlou2 photomode #the last of us part 2 #virtual photography #the last of us #ellie williams #lesbian #queer #tlou #Ellie tlou #the tipsy bison #tlou2 skins #tlou2 remaster #Ellie Williams smut #tlou2 photo mode #photomode #game capture

194 notes · View notes

probssomethingorother · 1 year ago

Text

Post- Silver Lake Brainrot

I've wanted to put one of these together for a long time (..a long, long time 🎶), and just never did it. With the new year upon us I thought it would be a great time to finally give it a go.

If you are like me and need to know what happened after Joel and Ellie walked away from Silver Lake, here are some fics to scratch that post-8/winter itch. For now I will just list them below, but I may eventually compile them into like a public Ao3 bookmark collection (if I can figure out that magic). [Started! Click the link]

These are going to be the mostly canon compliant/canon-vibes fics, and that's not to say other alternate version of event fics aren't good, I'm just not focusing on them atm here :)

Under the cut, the list is broken down into five fic length categories. Stories are not in any sort of order within each group, and I was only pulling from Archive, so if there is a Tumblr original floating around out there that you are surprised didn't make the list, that is why. In the same vein, I know I probably missed a lot of Ao3 fics. If you think something should be included (ao3 or Tumblr) just let me know!

And lastly, if you click n' read on any of these please try to give the writer some love via kudos or comments! ✨ Spread the good vibes!!

[Disclaimer - If I could find the author's Tumblr I have @'d them, but if I couldn't it's their ao3 name only. If you know an author's tumblr and I haven't linked it, or I have chose the wrong tumblr, or you just don't want your tumblr linked, please feel free to reach out and I will edit!]

𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐟𝐮𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐝𝐨....

🅰 🅵🆄🅻🅻 🅰🆂🆂 🅱🅾🅾🅺 (100k+)

>> please don't go by @toointojoelmiller

🅱🅸🅶 🅱🅾🆈 🅲🅻🆄🅱 (10k+)

>> Understanding Your Daughter Who isn't Really Your Daughter by @onlinepigeon

>> Back & Forth by @probssomethingorother

>> Dinosaur by @femmefacetious

>> I've come to know (life is a slow, beautiful heartbreak) by @the-relvin-temult

>> In the After by @probssomethingorother

>> and with you alone by @penandinkprincess

🅼🅴🅰🆃🆈 (5-10K)

>> Awake and Dreaming by @wordswordswords7

>> Let My Arms Bring You Comfort by @ellies-little-gun

>> There's no need to be brave by stained_glass_horizon

>> when she needed me i wasn't around by @periwinklwt

>> drifting by some_pomegranate_tea

>> i start for the great temple by @march-flowerr

>> cold is the water by @marceltheshellwithflipflopson

>> fix me up by survivorellie

>> if we make it through december (we'll be fine) by @marceltheshellwithflipflopson

>> teeth as sharp as cathedral spires by @actual-changeling

>> life, in the after by @dad-joel

>> things we lost to the flames by @dancingonmoonbeams

>> you’re my baby, say it to me by alternatemind

>> Winter's Edge by mikichi

>> the view between villages by @howlingbuchanan

>> Silver As The Snow (it must be cold) by @cgetbrmj

>> Keep Going for You by @someone-worth-racing-for

>> i’ll be coming home soon (long as i can see the light) by @outer-edges

>> This Bitter Earth by mahuika

>> Back to the Middle of Nowhere by @wordswordswords7

>> triage by @penandinkprincess

🆂🅼🅰🅻🅻 🅱🆄🆃 🅼🅸🅶🅷🆃🆈 (3-5k)

>> hold me twenty minutes to sleep (and some things you just can't speak about) by @compassinmyhead

>> Violent Heart by @timelesslords

>> I'll See Us Through by GardenerSnake8822

>> Please Hold Me While I Break Apart by @ellies-little-gun

>> there is fear in love by @durincorporated

>> never let you down again by @timelesslords

>> nothing but bones by gravefaeries

>> a wall between us and the world by @afjakwrites

>> these things eat at your bones (and drive your young mind crazy) by @outer-edges

>> Push through it by @probssomethingorother

>> Let Me Help You by arnabus

>> i'm beyond repair, let me be by thisisthehill_i_die_on

>> rambles and promises and bedtime stories by some_pomegranate_tea

>> never let me go by @ggardengirl

>> to see what i see (woe is me) by awoodenthicket

>> Reassurance by little_mack101

>> facultative by @penandinkprincess

>> it's how we show love by @outer-edges

>> care (how love is shown) by cosmic_idiot1

>> you love me so hard and i still can’t sleep by @marceltheshellwithflipflopson

>> aftermath by @boopernatural

>> With every heartbeat I have left I’ll defend your every breath (I promise I’ll do better) by @memelovescaps

🆀🆄🅸🅲🅺 🅲🅾🅽🆂🆄🅼🅿🆃🅸🅾🅽 (<3k)

>> i’ve always had a violent heart by @mattsbooknook

>> The Parable of the Lost Sheep by riversiders

>> Aftermath by @purplesunrisefanfic

>> how our souls, born to heal, become so prone to die? by @apuliae

>> A Violent Heart by @val-creative

>> No Apologies by @mentallyinlothlorien

>> Aftermath by galaxiesreader

>> These Hands are Clumsy Not Clever by my_immortal_parody

>> never goes away (but it all works out) by @timelesslords

>> Cargo by @mentallyinlothlorien

>> so slip your hand inside my glove (hold me) by @dulce-chisme

>> it's how we show love by @outer-edges

>> Lullaby by @sillysunshinesstuff

>> unforgiven by @eedsknees

>> Endure & Survive by iheartjoelmiller

>> you may bury my body, down by the highway side by ChristmasEve12

>> Touch Me Not by Sokeyy

>> Aftermath by HurtandComfortWriter

>> Broken Violent Heart by ARightFarPiece

>> Indelible Scars, Pivotal Marks. by thefactimadethissaystomuch

>> every night i dream of you by @anpantae

>> Winter's Fury by @dinobotbitch

>> The Aftermath by lettucehater007

>> you are my purpose by prefectrainflowers

>> Be Fruitful and Multiply by Rainy_Rayne

>> do you ever think of me and my two hands? by @eedsknees

158 notes · View notes

bingbongsupremacy · 1 year ago

Text

Happy Anniversary

Pairing: Ellie Williams x Reader

Warnings: Creep, pet names, use of y/n

Summary: An anger filled fight doesn't stop Ellie from Standing up for you.

*Not Proof Read* TLOU Masterlist

*****

" -god, how many times do I have to tell you, I'm fucking sorry, okay? I completely forgot about our date. It's been a long week. " Ellie groans, running a hand through her messy hair.

" Our date? " I narrow my eyes in disbelief. " It's our anniversary, you absolute ass. I've been reminding you about it for the past fucking five days. I planned everything, Ellie. All you had to do was fucking show up and you couldn't even do that. "

Ellie's jaw clenches in frustration. Her eyes darken. Annoyance seeps through her tone. " It's one fucking day. I get it, we've been dating for an entire year, whoopie. " Ellie mocks. " We don't need to plan something on a stupid fucking day to remind ourselves how long we've been together. "

Sadness fills my already rage filled heart. Did she really not give a shit? " That's not the point, Ellie. I barely see you anymore. You're always on patrol...I just wanted to spend time with you. And-and you can't even spare an hour for me anymore! "

Ellie's eyes narrow. She stands up, finally meeting my gaze. " Don't even. You spend all your time in that stupid bakery. Doing what? Baking fucking cakes. At least I'm trying to protect us-keep the fucking bad shit outside so you can keep on baking pastries. I'm on patrol for us. "

Rage seeps out of Ellie's every pore. Her face is lit up from the fire place, casting a dark shadow across her tired features.

My heart shatters. Stupid pastries? Does she think that little of my job? " I don't need you to protect me. I can take care of myself. " I spit. " I've survived without you for years, Ellie. I can do it again. I don't need you. "

For a moment Ellie's angry expression seems to break. Sadness flashes through her eyes, leaving just as fast as it came. Could it be the lighting?

" You don't need me? Fucking fine. " Ellie snatches her worn coat from the floor. " I'll see you around. " Ellie snaps towards the door.

Regret floods my body. " Ellie-Wait! I didn't mean it. " I chase after her. " Ellie! "

Ellie doesn't respond. Instead she slams my front door, stopping me from continuing after her. The loud sound bounces off my dark walls, mocking my hurting heart.

All I wanted was to spend time with her.

---------

Ellie doesn't need me either.

For weeks I've thought back the our argument, where everything went wrong. I doubt Ellie has. She's spent the last 3 weeks partying with Cat.

It's not like I'm unfamiliar with the quietness filling my house. I spend most of my nights alone, only having another person there when Ellie sneaks in after patrol. This time, the silence is haunting.

Ellie's still pissed. She hasn't bothered to pick up anything of hers. Whenever we're in the same area, she finds a way to get out of there fast.

Honestly, I'm still pissed at her. The one time in 2 weeks I ask for her to make time for me, and she still can't find the fucking find a way to.

I make my way out of the bar, flinching at the freezing temperature outside. The streets are quiet. Only the flickering lights from nearby street lights break the darkness. Everyone's home.

I make my way down the street, taking my time look at the night sky.

A shiver runs down my spine when the sound of crunching snow fills my ears. Not from my shoes. From someone else.

" H-hey, baby. Where're you heading off to all alone? " A slurred voice asks.

I turn the face the owner. It's one of the newer people Tommy brought in today. " That's none of your business. "

I shove my freezing hands into my pockets.

The mans' eyes narrow. His grinning expression fading into a more frustrated one. " That's no way to talk to your new neighbor, sweet cheeks. Especially when he's being so nice to you. "

Disgust and fear fill my stomach. This guy can't be serious.

The tart smell of booze oozes off of his clothes. He certainly didn't wait long to find the bar.

" Why don't you leave me alone, neighbor. " I try to stand up straight, make myself look intimidating. Inside, my heart pounds quickly.

The man steps closer to me, causing me to take a step back. My heels makes contact with the snow covered curb. My body falls backwards, my arms stretching back to catch my fall.

A stinging pain fills my left hand. The white snow underneath quickly turns a cherry shade of red. The icy dust enrages my cut hand, making the injury hurt so much more.

" You just saved me a whole lotta time, baby. " The man chuckles, stepping towards me, grabbing ahold of the back of my head.

" Hey you, ugly motherfucker, back the fuck off. " Ellie's familiar voice cuts through the bitter air. She steps out of the shadows from behind the man, carrying a blade in hand. " Now. "

The man chuckles. " What? Is this your little bitch? Shoulda known, they look like a- " The man doesn't have time to finish his sentence.

Ellie lunges at the man, taking him off guard as she loops behind him, holding the shiny blade to his neck. " Unless you have a death wish, I suggest you shut the fuck up. "

His hand lets go of my head, obviously surprised by the sudden movement. The mans eyes widen in confusion and shock. " Hey- "

Ellie presses the blade in the mans throat. Not hard enough to kill him, but hard enough to draw a few beads of blood.

" Please! " The man begs, obviously not expecting this outcome.

Ellie pushes the man away. " Get the fuck out of here, you fucking coward. "

The man scrambles away from us. He hurries back in the direction of the bar, clutching his veiny neck with his large hand.

" Thank you. " I let out a breath of relief. " I had no idea- "

Ellie turns her eyes towards me once she's sure the man has gone away. " What the hell are you doing out here this late? Are you fucking crazy? What the fuck is wrong with you! " Ellie steps towards me. " You could've been hurt! God, do you even think? "

As much as want to fight back, I know she's right. I should've left with Jesse and Dina. So many new people have been brought into Jackson, too many to meet them all. There's bound to be some shady characters in the mix.

" I didn't think anything would happen. " Tears sting the back of my eyes. I tear my gaze away, not wanting Ellie to see me weak.

Ellie scoffs. " You're not a fucking ghost, y/n. People can see you walking out here alone and the fucked up ones will want to hurt you. "

" I know. " I whisper, trying to cover up the shaky sound of my voice.

Ellie's eyes soften. " Y/N..." She sighs. " I didn't mean-Is that blood? " Ellie rushes towards me, snatching my hand from the ground. " Oh my god, why didn't you say anything? "

I try to pull my hand away. " It's just a scrape. "

" Your hand looks like a fucking Saw movie - " Ellie holds my wrist tightly, not allowing me to break away.

" Ellie! What the fuck. " My stomach churns at the sight of my hand. I didn't realize it was bleeding this bad.

Ellie puts her other hand on the side of my waist. " Come on, we need to get this fixed before you get an infection. Who knows what that fucker was carrying and if it spreads. "

I stand up and I'm quickly ushered towards Ellie's garage. " You're not funny. "

" I'm not trying to be. Did you see the crust on his eyes? I don't think that's natural. Not to mention his dirty fingers. " Ellie mutters.

We walk the rest of the way in silence, Ellie not moving her hand from my waist.

Light cuts through the darkness of Ellie's garage as she flicks on the switch. A pile of clothes sits in the corner next to her bed, obviously dirty from patrol. Various things liter the floor, just the way it was before I met her.

" It's a bit of a mess...I wasn't expecting company. " Ellie rubs the back of her neck, obviously a little embarrassed by the sight of her room. " I've been pretty busy. "

I roll my eyes. " With Cat, I know. "

Ellie's eyes widen. " What? Cat? "

" I know you've been hanging out with her. " I don't meet her gaze. I don't care if she hangs out with Cat. It's just the fact she didn't tell me about it. I guess we were on a break...She didn't need to tell me anything.

Ellie grabs a small bag from on top of her desk. She gently pushes me onto the bed before pulling open the bag. " It's not like that...We didn't do anything. " She dabs the cut with a little towel.

" Yeah, for sure. Look Ellie, I don't give a shit who you fuck. " I say through clenched teeth. Obviously I'm lying. " Just don't pretend you having been with someone else. "

Ellie's eyes meet mine, confusion filling her expression. " Y/N, it's not like that. Cat and I...we aren't anything. I met with her 2 times to talk to her about...fuck about how to make everything up to you. I didn't fuck Cat. I would never do that to you. "

My eyes widen. " What? "

Ellie continues to bandage my hand. " I told Cat what happened. She thought it was pretty shitty of me to stand you up on our anniversary. " Ellie sighs and lets go of my hand. " Look, I've never done this before. I've never been in a relationship this long. I-I'm fucking terrified. What am I supposed to do? " Ellie admits.

I've never seen her this...vulnerable before. She tends to keep things bottled up, something I've tried to get her to stop doing for her own sake, but it's never worked.

" I don't want to ruin you, y/n. I've ruined everything else in my fucking life. No one I love ever fucking gets a happy ending. I mean, look at Joel and Riley...I don't want you to end up like them. " Ellie's voice cracks.

" Ellie...I had no ideas..." I put my hand on her arm.

" How would you? I've been ignoring you for months. I just...I didn't want something to happen to you. I know that's a shitty excuse, but it's true. You mean so fucking much to me, Y/N. I don't know what I'd do without you. " I scan Ellie's face for any signs of dishonesty. She's sincere.

" Nothing is going to happen to me. Ellie, you can't do this to yourself, blame yourself for everything that happened. You had no idea what was going on. You have to stop torturing yourself with this. You aren't going to be able to live a full life if you're living in fear. " I try to reason with the woman.

Ellie swallows. " I just don't want you to get hurt. "

" Ellie, if something were to happen to me, I know you'd be right there to help me. I mean, look at what happened a little while ago. I'm going to be okay. Just please...don't ignore me. I want to be here for you. I want to spend time with you. " I pull the girl towards me. " I love you, Ellie Williams. I fucking love you so much. "

I feel Ellie tense at the words. We've never said I love you before.

Ellie shifts so her face is next to mine. Her hot breath fans over my cold lips. " I love you too. " She whispers.

I kiss her, pulling her body towards me. " You owe me a date. " I pant once we pull away.

" I owe you a lot of things. " Ellie sets her head on the crook of my shoulder. " I'll start with another kiss. "

262 notes · View notes