#The Sidekick Snapper

[wanderingmind867]

You know, Marvel had less of the teen sidekick trope than DC. I think. Bucky Barnes, the original Human Torch's sidekick Toro and Rick Jones. I think that's it for teen sidekicks. I mean, we had some teen heroes (spiderman and the o5 X-Men). But only three teen sidekicks.

But then we look at DC and we have enough teen sidekicks for me to think we need to call child protective services on all these child soldiers. Just going by wikipedia, we've got Robin, Aqualad, Kid Flash, Speedy, Snapper Carr, Green Lantern's rascist Inuit/"Eskimo" friend Pieface, etc. Seriously. Do I have to call social services to report 15 child soldiers in the greater united states!? This is bordering on the surreal. At least Marvel didn't do the child soldier thing nearly as often! Maybe Stan Lee just understood it was a bit weird. I don't know. But I'm glad Marvel had less child sidekicks.

[alternateworldcomics]

Your Sidekick

[wanderingmind867]

Snapper Carr is the Rick Jones of the DC Universe. And their stories start similarly. Gardner Fox made Snapper Carr and Stan Lee made Rick Jones, and both men used their young teenage characters as aids to teams like the Justice League and The Avengers. But then we have to talk about the two missourians. Marvel had Roy Thomas succeed Stan Lee in most things, and DC had Denny O'Neil succeed Gardner Fox. And while Roy Thomas largely kept Rick Jones around by making him sidekick to Captain Mar-Vell, Denny O'Neil came in and took a baseball bat to everything good Gardner Fox did. No Martian Manhunter! No Snapper Carr! No nothing!

I won't forgive Denny O'Neil! Not for this, and not for his atorcious Green Lantern and Green Arrow stories. Sure, he had a few hits (like his superman and wonder woman stuff seems okay), but his Justice League was a net loss for DC. And then he was editor when Jason Todd was killed. He was the idiot responsible for getting Frank Miller a job with Daredevil (which would lead to Frank Miller's edginess and darkness also moving to characters like Batman later). Denny O'Neil was a menace, and every good thing he did is compensated by something awful he also did.

I just genuinely love the concept of Snapper Carr. He's just this completely normal teenager who--because they practically meet in his backyard I guess, and because he helped on one of their first adventures--is a junior member of the Justice League. He's fully accepted, he hangs out with them, he goes with them on JLA Work, and he's just NORMAL.

It's audience surrogacy in its purest form, but it's so much to think about. Just...

You're a teenager from a small town in Rhode Island. You have no special abilities, no special traumas, you're just some kid. And yet, on a regular basis, you head over to the mountain (if it can be called that) outside of town, and attend meetings of the Justice League of America.

You walk in complaining about your homework and Superman starts helping with the English essay. You have girl problems and the Flash sits you down and starts giving relationship advice. Batman asks you about music because he's trying to find a good birthday present for Robin and he knows you've got a wide range of music knowledge. Green Lantern tells stories about space and Wonder Woman borrows your history books. You and Aquaman bond over being the two New Englanders in the group. You think you might be the only person in the world who knows what Martian teenagers did in their spare time.

You've been on trips by superspeed and human flight and invisible jet. You've listened to Green Arrow and Green Lantern argue politics in the other room and rolled your eyes with the Flash. You know Superman's favorite books and you've thrown a blanket over Wonder Woman when she collapsed on the couch after a long fight. You've been at those long fights yourself, seen Batman taken by surprise and Martian Manhunter stare into the face of his greatest fears and griefs. The Atom helped you with your college applications and you paid him back in donuts. You exchange music recommendations with Robin long-distance. You have Ralph Dibny's phone number.

You've had your life threatened, and had it saved. You've saved a few people yourself.

You're abducted by the Joker and some other villains, once, because they want to brainwash you: when the heroes find you, you're so mixed up you only sort of know who you are, let alone who they are to you. But they remind you. They will always remind you, between the late nights and the afternoon meetings and the field trips and the gossip and the world-saving.

You're just a guy, it's true. Just a normal guy (as the poisonous whispers told you, before they found you again), surrounded by the extraordinary, and the famous, and the legendary. Overshadowed by them, even.

And that's okay. Because at the end of the day, those tall and shining figures the villains wanted you to feel dwarfed by, to bristle against and resent?

They're your friends.

No more.

No less.

[howtohero]

#276 The Self-Help Guide for Child Sidekicks

It has come to our attention that despited our best efforts and repeated attempts to prevent such things, many superheroes are still employing child sidekicks. (Read: child soldiers in their war on crime.) This is, obviously, still a horrible idea as most supervillain attacks are home to poison fumes, fear toxins, zombie carnivores and lots of loose knives, all things that children are famously not supposed to be around. And yet, we’ve seen time and time again that superheroes will actively recruit children, usually orphans, to help them fight crime. (I guess you can still call it a “one-man crusade on crime” if the person you’re waging it with is not a man but a child.) So, we’ve decided that it’s time for a new approach. Today we’re going to reach out directly to the children... Children still read advice blogs right? (Definitely.)

So, hello children, how are you today? Gleefully beating up henchmen in dark alleys? Kicking terrorists in the shins? Fab fab fab. Now, how would you like to stop doing all of that because, as it would turn out, all that stuff is extremely dangerous and you are a child and that is not the kind of stuff you should be doing at all. And look, I get it, you’ve got incredible powers, or a knack for kick flips, or an insatiable thirst for justice, and that’s great. Your heart is definitely in the right place. Nobody understands the desire to use your incredible powers for good at such a young age better than me. (Except, probably, for people who actually have superpowers at a young age.) But you’re simply not ready to go out into the field and busting skulls quite yet. Instead you should take this time to hone your abilities so that when it comes time for you to enter the crime fighting world you can start out as an experienced and professional hero who doesn’t accidentally blow up a school or get gross webbing everywhere.

As a young superhuman it is important that you don’t allow yourself to be swayed by the rhetoric of established superheroes. They’re going to tell you that you can be a valuable asset in the field, and that many supervillains are actually terrified of ten-year-olds in tights but don’t listen to them! They are most likely lying. (There is, admittedly, a thirty percent chance that they’re actually just stupid, lotta stupid superheroes out there. More than you’d think.) Trust me, all they’re thinking about is securing their legacy. They just want you to train you to be just like them so that you can take over their superhero identity when they retire or die or get shunted into another dimension. And I’m gonna let you in a little secret, they’re never going to retire and pass their mantle on to you. It’s a false promise! You’re just going to be another in a long line of proteges, apprentices, and sidekicks that get led on until you somehow grow older than the hero you’re working for. Don’t believe me? At the time of this writing there have been 388 different Hatboys. Anyone have a guess as to how many Hatmans (Hatmen?) there have been during that time? It’s 1. Hatman has always been Hatman. Still don’t believe me? Let’s take a look at what’s happened to some of those Hatboys.

Hatboy #1: Went to college. (Nerd.) Hatboy #2: Was turned into a crowbar by a wizard. (Was then lost in a big pile of crowbars that Hatman used to keep lying around.) Hatboy #23: Asked when Hatman planned on dying so he could become Hatman. Was arrested for “threatening the life of a beloved superhero.” Hatboy #46: Stung by a wasp and decided he was not cut out for the superhero life. Hatboy #73: The only female Hatboy to date. She left Hatman’s tutelage pretty quickly and struck out on her own. She goes by the name Helm Lady now and she’s actually doing quite well for herself. Hatboy #74: Eaten by a shark. Hatboy #79: Beaten to death with Hatboy #2. (Hatboy #2 was subsequently lost again. Nobody involved realized that he was the crowbar used to kill Hatboy #79.) Hatboy #86: The “forgotten Hatboy”, only showed up on one mission with Hatman and was never seen again. When asked by How To Hero about this Hatboy Hatman told us “there was never an 86th Hatboy”. Hatboy #100: The hundredth Hatboy! Can you believe some people actually thought this guy would be the one to take over Hatman’s legacy. Ha! Joke’s on them. He turned out to be a cyborg sent from the future to kill Hatman. Technically the closest any Hatboy has gotten to taking on Hatman’s mantle.  Hatboy #115: Sprained his ankle and was told by a doctor that he couldn’t fight crime for a few months. Hatman promptly returned him to the orphanage from whence he came (can you even do that?????) and had his memory erased. (What??????) Hatboy #166: Stung by bees, had an allergic reaction, taken to hospital, hospital ended up being a front for evil bees, every doctor was actually several evil bees in a lab coat, Hatboy stung several more times, has several more allergic reactions, quits. Hatboy #167: Hatboy #166′s twin. He got annoyed that Hatman kept calling him his brother’s name. Quit. Hatboy #173: Accidentally launched out of a cannon. Never seen again. Hatboy #180: Lost in enchanted woods. Hatboy #182: Actually a tiny supervillain. Hatboy #193: Trapped in Opera House of Doom. Hatboy #195 and Hatboy #196: The first and only time Hatman decided to employ two Hatboys at the same time. They killed each other after a dispute about which of them Hatman loved more. (A stupid argument, Hatman didn’t much care for either of them.) Hatboy #203: Turned into a crocodile. Is doing just fine now. Hatboy #209: Cloned and then fired for violating Hatman’s strict but fair “no clones” policy. Hatboy #213: 213... 2 13... 13 twice... that’s unlucky two times. Like hell was Hatman going to keep a guy like that around. Shortest time as Hatboy at three seconds. Hatboys #214-233: After 213 failed Hatboys the local orphanage banned Hatboy from adopting anymore orphans so the next 20 Hatboys were imaginary. Unfortunately, not even nonexistence was enough to protect these brave Hatboys from suffering horrifying and grisly fates. Hatboy #234: The first new real Hatboy in three years. In an effort to show the rest of the superhero and orphanage community that he could keep a Hatboy safe, this Hatboy was never allowed outside until he turned thirty. By this time he was too large for the Hatboy costume, so he was fired. Hatboy #235: Hatboy’s back bay-beeee and cooler than ever! This Hatboy had spiked green hair, cool sunglasses, a skate board, and pet monkey. Easily the coolest Hatboy ever. Shame about the thing with the immovable mass of dark thoughts though. Hatboy #266: Eaten by that same shark from before. Apparently it acquired a taste for Hatboys. It now goes by the name Sidekick Snapper and it is still at large, so if that doesn’t turn you off from being a sidekick I don’t know what to tell you. Hatboy #272: Accidentally run over by the Hatmobile. Hatboy #279: Part witch, melted when it rained. Hatboy #280: Part ice pop, melted in the sun. Hatboy #283: As part of an attempt at synergy between this blog and the superhero community, this Hatboy was actually our very own Curly! {It was not fun let me tell you. On day three he had me scrubbing out the(All right nobody wants to hear it let’s move on to the next one!) Hey!} Hatboy #294: Tried to push Hatman in front of a train to avenge his predecessors. It didn’t work obviously. If Hatman had a dime for every time he got pushed in front of a train he’d be three times as rich as he already is. He’s trained for this. He knows how to survive being pushed in front of a train. (We can’t give away all of his tricks, but it essentially boils down to “not letting the train hit you.”) Hatboy #300: The three hundredth Hatboy! A party was thrown in the Hat Cave and all of the still living Hatboys were in attendance. (All 32 of them!) At the party they cornered the new Hatboy and held an intervention during which they convinced Hatboy 300 to get the heck out of there and never return. Hatboy #315: Fell in love with an elf princess from a magical realm in New York’s sewer system. Hatboy #330: Ended up on the wrong side of a superhero civil war.  Hatboy #349: Stared directly at an eclipse, was temporarily blinded, and was then kidnapped by a giant bird. Hatboy #355: Tripped and fell onto a landmine. Hatboy #368: Brainwashed into becoming a terrifying assassin. Hatboy #379: Struck out on his own and became the superhero Dark Brood to reflect his new mature and humorless disposition. Hatboy #380: “Misplaced.” Hatboy #388: The current Hatboy, he’s doing quite well actually... for now.

If the horrible fates of these Hatboys aren’t enough to dissuade you from a career as a sidekick, what’s the matter with you!? The life of a sidekick is not as glamorous as it’s made out to be. You’re essentially an unpaid intern with a high mortality rate. You’re going to be getting coffee, picking up dry cleaning, preparing meals, waxing and buffing and repainting hat-shaped vehicles, fighting the gross and weird henchmen that your boss doesn’t want to deal with. It sucks! And for what? So you can get eaten by a shark or lost at the nightmare mall? It’s just not worth it.

Instead what you should do is band together with other superpowered children and pressure one of the older heroes into mentoring you as a group. It’s like forming a sidekick’s union. You’ll look out for each other in a way the adults won’t. You’ll make sure nobody is put into situations that are too dangerous for them to handle. You’ll grow as a group and forge unbreakable bonds, and when you all grow up, you’re going to be a generation of superheroes the likes of which the world has never seen!

Right now you’re in a great position. You have powers, and you know you want to do good with them. So take some time now, find others like you, receive proper training and when the time comes, you and your team will take the world by storm. Don’t rush into things. Don’t fall under the spell of a charismatic older hero that doesn’t care about anything but himself. Don’t rob yourself of the change to be truly great! (We regret to inform you that Hatboy #388 was just hurled at a lava giant in a failed attempt to slow it down.) 

[dire-vulture]

Unintentional recurring theme: cool lesbians and their fun snapper sidekicks!

What do you mean two cases isn't a recurring theme

[forasecondtherewedwon]

3 Simple Rules for Dating a Centenarian - ch. 2

Fandom: The Falcon and the Winter Soldier Pairing: Sam Wilson/Bucky Barnes Rating: T Chapters: 2/2

Read chapter one on Tumblr.

Chapter two summary: Sam and Bucky talk after their date op in Germany.

“Four,” Bucky says.

Sam, plodding down the road beside him, turns to stare. His sidekick (and fuck him if Bucky’s thinking of Sam in the same terms) has his chin lifted, moving his gaze back and forth across the horizon in a slow sweep. With the lines of trees planted as windbreaks around the fields, they can’t see the highway from here. It could be nice, without the rushing noise of cars and trucks, if Bucky knew how to shut up. That sorta pout his mouth does when his face is in its sour resting position—that’s what Sam wants to see. Only because it means Bucky wouldn’t be talking and Sam could maybe find a few minutes of peace, some quiet in which to consider the Flag-Smashers they just fought.

“Four what?” he demands when Bucky doesn’t continue.

Can’t be hostiles. If Bucky had spotted anybody, he wouldn’t still be striding along, looking unconcerned. No, he’d be running flat-out towards their adversaries like the rash moron he’s always accusing Steve of having been. Trying to leave Sam in the dust until Sam kicked off and spread his wings.

“Four stars,” Bucky says, carefully, clearly, like that clears anything up.

“What are you doing? Rating our trip down the highway? That was a transport truck full of medicine and super-soldiers, not an Uber.”

Sam’s grinning to himself when Bucky turns his head to glare. Ah. So gratifying. Amends sound good in theory, but Bucky’s irritation is so much simpler in practice. Sam knows how to handle that. He’ll take the grouchy stewing post-mission over having to meet Bucky’s eyes across a table, the promised snapper dinner laid out in front of them. They haven’t gotten around to that yet.

“I’m not rating the ride,” Bucky says, “I’m rating our date.”

That trips Sam up, but just for a second.

“No, no, no, dates don’t end with me rescuing you from the underside of a truck.”

“You didn’t rescue me.”

“Man, those wheels would’ve turned you into ground beef,” Sam says with a snort.

“I doubt it. Fell two hundred feet without a parachute today and I’m fine.”

“You want a second opinion on that?”

Instead of watching Bucky’s scowl deepen at the joke, Sam sees his expression flatten out. It makes Sam narrow his eyes in suspicion.

“What?” he prompts.

“You’re wrong,” Bucky states plainly.

“About what those wheels would do to you? We can test it when we’re back stateside if you want. I’ll requisition a truck.”

“Not about that.”

Sam’s looking closely, so he spots the smile. A curl at the corner of Bucky’s mouth. He hopes, secretly, that Bucky is scanning the surroundings well enough for both of them, because Sam’s attention is homed in on this little sign of Bucky’s amusement.

“About the end of the date,” Bucky finally clarifies.

“Mission. The end of the mission, when I rescued you.”

“The end of the date, when I was on top of you.”

Something to throw with all his strength, that’s what Sam needs right now. Some physical outlet for how badly he wants to fling the creeping, seeking, aching things he’s feeling very far away from himself. He wonders if Steve ever just whipped the shield as hard as he could to vent his frustrations. It’s hot as hell out here under the sun and Sam can feel the dampness of his chest inside his suit, the sweat riding his spine.

He takes a deep breath through his nose, fine with the scent of manure and getting nothing but grass instead. Like inhaling the colour green. Smells like the field they landed in. Landed in and went barreling across until, yeah, Sam wound up on his back with Bucky above him, their arms fastened around each other like life preservers or umbilical cords or anything else tight and necessary for keeping people alive. Goddamn nose-to-nose. Over the phone, Sam could brush Bucky off. When he says this shit in person, Sam has nowhere to go, besides extending the wings and launching himself into the sky. But he doesn’t want to overreact (doesn’t want Bucky to see him overreact).

“You just calling it a date because you don’t have rules for those?” Sam asks, deflecting.

“My three rules, you mean?” Bucky asks. He loses the smile.

“Right.”

“They’re for… everything. Supposed to be a blanket rollout, not doing anything illegal or that’ll hurt anybody in any aspect of my life. I’m sure the rules go for dating too, though Dr. Raynor and I didn’t really talk about those specific circumstances.”

“I think you might’ve mostly stuck to those rules today. I don’t think we hurt those guys.”

“Maybe you didn’t—”

“Get over yourself.”

“You’re a rude date,” Bucky notes. He’s looking straight ahead. No, not looking, staring. Like he does.

“I didn’t even invite you,” Sam says, refusing to correct this bonehead again about what kind of outing this was. “You walked onto that plane.”

“You wanted me to come.”

“Didn’t need you.”

“Oh really?” Bucky challenges. Sam clenches his jaw as he avoids meeting Bucky’s gaze.

“Hey, I was still in the air while you were clinging to that truck like a toddler to their dad’s leg.”

“You were in the air, but for how long?” Bucky asks, halting and grabbing Sam’s arm. Sam shakes him off in annoyance but stops too. “Until the Flag-Smashers knocked you out or broke your wings like they broke Redwing. They were mopping the floor with you.”

“And it was so damn useful to have you there to be the other mop,” Sam says sarcastically.

“If you’d put me back on the truck instead of in the field, we mighta had a shot at them.”

Bucky’s hands go to his hips, his Vibranium arm gleaming in the sun. He’s going to have to say more about that White Wolf thing. Wondering where the hell Bucky’s sleeve went and refusing to ask, Sam crosses his arms tightly over his chest.

“We had no shot. Not today, not without more information.”

“Information takes too long.”

“That’s what a successful op is,” Sam stresses, chopping the side of one hand into his opposite palm. “Intelligence gathering, corroboration, planning, execution. Information is what tells you to hang back instead of throwing yourself into a fight you’re not prepared enough to win.”

“We were already here. We couldn’t just let them leave.”

“Don’t worry about the hypotheticals now; them leaving is exactly what happened.”

“Unless Captain America has ’em on the ropes,” Bucky says deadpan.

“I hope they pushed him off the back of one of those trucks.”

“Were you thinking about that while we were up there with him?”

“At the time, I was thinking about pushing you off the back of the truck for getting us into that situation,” Sam explains, “that’s why I can picture it so clearly. See, Buck? I always have a plan.”

“Just like Steve.”

“No, not just like Steve.”

Sam pushes past Bucky to start walking again. After a couple steps, Bucky’s back at his side.

“You think the new guy had a plan?” he asks. “I don’t.”

“I don’t give a shit.”

“Sure you do.”

“Are you trying to get me to talk now? Mr. ‘I’m not a words guy’? Fine,” Sam huffs, tired from everything inside him that’s pushing to get out rather than their leisurely walk down a country road. Even so, he walks faster, almost stomping, and Bucky has to lope up next to him to stay in step. “I don’t think he had a plan. I don’t think he could fasten that dumb helmet on his head without a direct order. I don’t think he and his partner found us on their own initiative.”

“They work pretty smoothly as a team though,” Bucky tosses out.

“That looked like familiarity, not the result of inspiring leadership on the part of the Captain.”

“And not as good as us.”

Sam sends Bucky poisonous side-eye.

“I’m not trying to lead you.”

“I don’t wanna be led,” Bucky replies. “We fight together better than they do and that’s with you pretending you hate me.”

“Oh, I don’t need to pretend.” The comment is habit.

“All I’m saying is that it’s better. The two of us being out here doing this stuff together.”

“Especially with that dick waiting in the wings.”

Bucky stares at him long enough that Sam turns his head to stare back. When he does, Bucky glances away, but Sam knows where he was looking—at his back, where his wings are folded away.

“Waiting in the wings is a figure of speech,” he tells Bucky angrily.

“It’s perfect though. I always think of you as that dick in the wings.”

Sam exhales hard through his nose.

“I hope you don’t always think of me as anything.”

“I do. I always think of you.”

Freefall doesn’t jar Sam, no more than what he can remember it feeling like when he was a little kid and his dad would toss him into the air before catching him again. But what Bucky says changes the physics of his insides, the gravity all wrong with his organs. Heart plummeting then trying to sail straight up his throat like a balloon somebody just let go of.

Then Bucky adds, “You and that shield.”

“Drop it.”

He could just fly to the airport, leave Bucky here with plenty of time to think his stupid, shield-related thoughts. Maybe this smartass would have all the answers by the time he reached the plane, or Munich, if they went wheels-up without him. The truth is that the shield—and the Captain America persona—are on Sam’s mind just as much as they’re on Bucky’s, only he manages to keep those thoughts locked up tight. He has to make sure that shit’s contained, particularly if the new poster boy’s going to turn up like this. Sam doesn’t need that in his face.

As they walk, he glances at Bucky, who’s probably as aware of it as Sam is when Bucky gives him that stare. Blue as the sky overhead and heavy as a boulder. The realization that, although he didn’t mean to lead, Bucky followed him here, and continues to stick with him, is staggering. The pages of his mental photo album flip and he sees Steve crack a grin. It’s not like that, Sam tells that blond do-gooder, young in his memories. The only blond do-gooder who ever has or ever will look right with his arm threaded through the straps of the shield.

Maybe, maybe, this thing could work. Him and Bucky running ops, doing better at not getting their asses kicked in front of the government’s hand-picked hero. But Bucky’s gotta let that shit go. Since the Blip, Sam’s been trying to fly under the radar and that’s what he wants to continue doing. He doesn’t need to be showy, just effective; he doesn’t want to get dragged into some Cap vs. Cap contest, the inheritor against the upstart. If Bucky would take the time to think and listen, they could figure this out and be good. And do good. Understanding each other the way Sam wanted when he called Bucky up and they talked about Tunisia and rules and fish dinners. Bucky could make his jokes and, the next time, Sam could call his bluff. Show that gruff, rusty motherfucker what a real date looks like. What kind of team could they be? All kinds.

“Are we even going the right way?” Bucky asks after a half-hour of silence.

“Yes,” Sam says firmly.

He actually hasn’t checked. After they untangled themselves in that field, he just started walking, too keyed up to establish their position. He wonders if the grass still shows their path, crushed where they rolled to a stop.

“You sure?”

“Uh huh.”

“Got any thoughts you wanna share?” Bucky asks. Sam frowns and steals a glance at him. “What? I told you I’ve been going to therapy. I know the importance of a healthy dialogue.”

Sam tries to force his mouth to keep curving down, but he really wants to smile. Bucky’s not the worst company and he is obviously capable of growth.

“A question,” he says.

“If it’s sarcastic, I’m not—”

“Four outta what?”

“What?”

“You said four stars,” Sam reminds him. “Is that four outta five or four outta ten?”

Bucky’s smile spreads slowly, smugly, and Sam rolls his eyes hard. He’s no more aggravated by Bucky than he is by his own need to know. ‘Four stars’ was an incomplete assessment! Typical.

“I hate you,” he says.

Still smiling away, Bucky sways into Sam as he walks, their arms brushing. Could be an accident.

But probably not.

[minie-mastermind]

A look at all the small back ground details of earth 3 in young Justice part 2

Each gang name is a different reference.

First milk Sugar and Spike the old comic series.

Secend is a reference to the character Ambush Bug.

And Snapper Carr the Justice Leagues first young sidekick.

The two brands of food that are on display as well are Buster Gold & Jolly Olson both being a reference to booster gold and Jimmy Olsen.

[jadethest0ne]

When the Moon meets the Morning, Chapter 6 - Not all Black and White

Summary:  Raphael is going on missions with Captain Jupiter as he always does when he meets an orange-wearing turtle yokai who feels oddly familiar.

Word Count: 3376

Ratings/Warnings: General Audiences; some minor harrowing moments, but mostly fluff, emotional overload, emotional manipulation, self-deprecation

Notes: This is my longest chapter yet! This one has some minor emotional manipulation at the beginning of this chapter along with some harrowing moments later on. On the plus side, we get some cameos from previous TMNT incarnations that I’m happy about bringing to the table. Big thanks to @undercoverwizardninjaturtle and @fraymotiif for helping me workshop this. And a big thanks to @5weekdays who helped me with the Captain Jupiter dialogue in this chapter!

Read on AO3 For the RotTMNT Fantasy AU

———-

The trio gets up early the next morning, reaching the outskirts of Bedu in relative silence. The whole time Mikey keeps looking over to Raph as if he wants to say something. Raph knows by now to just wait until Mikey speaks – if the young boxshell has something to say, he's bound to say it eventually. Finally he opens his mouth. “How... did you do that...?” he asks.

Well, that wasn't exactly what Raph was expecting. “Do what?” he asks genuinely confused.

“I mean, how did you...” Mikey twirls his hands around each other as if trying to find the right words, “...make everything stop..? The noise? The... the feelings?” He looks to Raph in almost desperate wonder.

“Oh, that...” Raph runs his mask tails through his fingers as he thinks. “I'm... actually not so sure... I've always been good with protective wards and shields n' stuff. I guess... I just figured out a new way to use them...?” He ends his sentence in a rising questioning tone.

Mikey looks at him almost expectantly. As if there's more to what Raph has to say.

There is more. “And, uh,” Raph begins. “You're gonna probably think this is a little weird, but, um, I think I did it in a dream once...?”

Mikey's eyes widen, before softening. A warm smile spreads across his face. “That doesn't sound weird to me at all.”

“Oh really?” Raph stops tugging at his mask tails. “Um... I could maybe equip some of your gear, or even sheets of magic activation paper with some protective wards like that. Maybe they could help you out in your travels, even if I'm not around.”

Mikey's smile widens further and he bounces in his saddle. “Really!? You could do that?!”

“Of course! I'd have to grab some of the extra paper and ink from my room when we get back, but I could definitely do that for ya!”

“Well, it's good timing then, because we're just about there!” Red Fox chimes in.

The town of Bedu looked pretty much the same as when they had left. After all, it had barely been a couple weeks. The main difference now was that a thin layer of frost was covering the ground, signalling that winter was close at hand, even below the tall mountain peaks.

“I have to go sign in with the Mountain Guide Guild to notify them that I've returned, and I need Mikey to come with me,” Red Fox says. “Raph, could you drop our gear off at the base?”

“Sure! I'll take Infinity and Buddy to the stables, too,” Raph says.

“Alrighty then!” Mikey bounces off of Infinity's back and hands her reins over to Raph, then bounces over to Red Fox.

“When you're done, come meet us by the healing house. I want to check if our gecko friend has recovered. After that we can all get some brunch – my treat!”

“Red Fox, you are the best!” Mikey cheers.

Raph smiles as he watches the two of them head farther into town. It's good to see Mikey's usual energy returned. But then he frowns a bit, realizing that he'd probably have to say goodbye to the guy soon with their trek now over. His mind is stuck in that sad thought as he heads back to Captain Jupiter's base, sets up Buddy and Infinity in the stables with some food and treats, and unpacks their gear. He mulls over all the things he's learned about Mikey and how close the two of them had grown in such a short time. He's gonna miss him a whole lot.

Raph’s thoughts are interrupted by a booming voice.

"Great gorgons, my boy, where have you been all this time!?"

Raph's head snaps up to see Captain Jupiter in the door frame with his hands on his hips. Raph can't tell if it's his normal heroic pose or if he's angry for some reason. But either way Raph is cautious in his response. "I, uh, was on a mountain guiding mission with Red Fox."

"Well I needed you here! There's been a great monster attacking the town while you've been gone and we've had trouble tracking it down and stopping it! I could've used your natural instincts!”

“I'm sorry.” Raph shrinks a bit, now feeling really bad that he had been away. It had been selfish of him to leave like that when he was needed here. And at a time when the Captain wanted to use his skills for once! It was rare that Raph’s “instincts” were looked at positively.

“Where is Red Fox?" Captain Jupiter asks looking in various directions as if expecting his sidekick to appear at the mention of her name.

"She went to the healing house to check on one of the fire victims.” Raph tugs at his mask tails, his eyes darting around not sure where to look.

"Good to know she's back here, too. I'm going to patrol the edge of the town. You head to the healing hut to tell Red Fox of the situation. And if you see any large scaly monsters, you take it down!"

At the command, Raph immediately comes to attention and salutes. "Yessir, Captain Jupiter!"

“Remember what I always say? 'Act like a monster, become a monster.' Nobody likes a monster. That’s why we do what we do. You don’t want to be on the wrong side of justice, do you?” He gives Raph a pointed look.

Raph tells himself that the Captain is always saying these things to pump him up and get him ready for a challenge or to hunt a bounty. But he hates that it feels like these words are meant specifically for him, as a warning to what Raph could do and has done. Either way, Raph knows that he’s always going to fight for good in the end. So Raph nods with determination, and in affirmation of the Captain’s words.

“Good,” Captain Jupiter says with a toothy grin. “So if you see any beasts rampaging around, make sure your justice is swift!”

Raph sucks in a breath, but stands up straight, hardens his features, and repeats, “Yessir.”

“Good lad.” The Captain nods with a pleased grin, and rushes off.

---

Raph quickly makes his way down to the village square and over to the healing house, bursting through the door with a lot more speed and panic than intended when he gets there. Everyone inside gives him an inquisitive look and Raph tries to calm himself down and casually walks towards where he sees Red Fox and Mikey standing by a bed. In the bed is the gecko from before, now wide awake and bright eyed. Without the soot or bandages covering him, Raph can see that he’s a dull yellow color with dark speckles covering his features. He looks very relaxed next to the other two.

Mikey lights up at seeing the large snapping turtle enter the room. "Raph! You're just in time to meet my new friend!" Mikey gestures at the bed.

The gecko looks up with an easy smile. "Hey there," he says in a raspy voice. "The name's Mondo! You must be Raph?"

Raph smiles and gives a small wave at the yokai. "Yup that's me. You doing okay?"

Mondo nods and Red Fox explains, "He's mostly recovered from the fire, he just has a sore throat that may last for another week or so. The smoke did a number on his lungs. Right now we're just trying to figure out where his family is."

Mikey makes a small pained sound causing Raph to look at him. The younger turtle is rubbing his head as if it hurts.

"Hey, are you okay?" Raph asks, concern tingeing his tone.

Mikey lets out a small grunt and says, "There's a lot of negative emotions in the area."

"Like what?"

"Unease... Fear..." Mikey flinches as if something struck him. "Oof, a lot of fear actually, but this seems like..."

Raph doesn't get to hear what that seems like, because there's a sudden shriek from outside. Oh, right - the reason why Raph came here. He grabs the attention of the red panda yokai. "Red Fox, the Captain told me that there's been a monster attacking the town."

"That must be it. Let's go!"

The two rush outside and sure enough a large creature is running through the streets causing many people to flee from it. It looks to be a giant alligator of some sort with hard scales and giant jaws snapping every which way. Raph summons his red limb projections and charges the beast while Red Fox leaps in the air. She lands on the beast's head and transforms her tail so it is long enough to wrap around its snout, locking its snapping jaws shut. Raph rams his whole body into the alligator in an attempt to knock it down. But even with his magic enhanced limbs the monster stands its ground and pushes back.

There is a struggle; Raph puts more magic power into the red limbs and lets out a yell, growing a second pair of red glowing arms in addition to the two surrounding his actual arms. He tries to grapple the sides of the beast with the extra pair of magical limbs. However, the alligator seems to recognize the losing battle, so instead it rocks back a bit then sweeps out its large muscular tail. The lack of resistance from the gator combined with the tail flicking at Raph’s legs causes the snapper to lose balance and he falls over, landing on his snout.

As Raph lifts himself up with a pained grunt, he sees the gator whip its head around, causing Red Fox to be flung into the wall of the healing house. His eyes widen in worry and he shouts her name. But his attention is then caught by the form of Mikey stepping outside the door with a look of horror on his face as he comes upon the scene. Behind Mikey he can see Mondo. For a second Raph wonders what he is doing out of bed, but he has much bigger things to worry about at the moment.

The large monster seems to have noticed the two smaller yokai as well, and it charges in their direction. Mondo looks like he's trying to say something, but the only thing that comes out of his mouth is a squeak. Mikey just stares up at the monster charging at them with a strange expression on his face. Raph doesn't have the time to ponder whatever feelings the empath is picking up from the scene around him and launches himself at the beast. He grabs hold of the monster's tail and digs his heels into the ground bracing himself. The gator is stopped mere feet from the two younger reptile yokai and turns around angrily to look at Raph. It launches itself at him with giant jaws opened lined with sharp, jagged teeth.

Red Fox is down, Mikey and Mondo and other civilians are around, and it's up to Raph to stop him. The Captain said to take the monster down. Raph pushes down the fear fluttering in his chest, and the twisted feeling he gets at the Captain’s implication of what he must do. He ignores the similarities between an alligator snapping turtle and an actual alligator, and allows the Captain's words to echo in his mind. “Act like a monster, become a monster.” Well, this is one monster that Raph is not going to let hurt his friends. He summons from deep down as much of his power as he can muster. His sclera turns black and his iris and pupil form into that of a blood moon. He gathers as much of his energy as he can around his fist. If he can just get one good powerful punch in as the monster leaps at him, he can end this.

Raph lets out a yell as he's about to launch his attack, right as the alligator snarls and his leaping attack arcs downward, towards the turtle. Suddenly something wraps around the alligator’s jaws, causing them to snap shut and the alligator to unceremoniously fall to the ground in an ungraceful heap. The gator looks so shocked that it seems like for a moment its anger is dispelled. Raph, too, is so surprised that magic swirling around his arm dissipates.

"Wait!" A voice calls out to them. Raph and the gator follow the voice to see Mikey standing there holding onto a rope. The rope is attached to the gator’s mouth ending in what seems to be some sort of grappling hook, glowing with magical energy. Mikey walks over to the gator with raised hands and says calmly, "I'm not going to hurt you. Just hold on a sec."

The complete lack of fear or malice coming from Mikey must confuse the alligator since it makes no moves to attack him. "You're just scared, right? And sad...? Like you miss someone?" The gator looks at the turtle with mournful eyes. Mikey slowly moves his hands towards the gator. Raph is about to stop him when Mikey holds up at hand in his direction, making Raph clamp his mouth shut before he can say anything. Mikey gently pets the large reptile's snout before loosening the rope around its jaws and says, "I think maybe they miss you, too."

Mikey gestures at Mondo who is leaning against the healing house, tightly gripping the front of his shirt, staring at the scene with wide eyes. As soon as the gecko and the gator lock eyes, Mondo tearfully runs over to the large alligator and calls out, "Leatherhead!"

Mikey steps out of the way and positions himself next to Raph. Mondo throws himself onto the apparently named Leatherhead’s face resting his small head in between the larger yokai's eyes. Leatherhead closes his eyes and puts a gentle clawed hand over the gecko's back and pats him soothingly, letting out a rumbling trill.

Raph looks past the touching scene to see Red Fox pushing herself up and walking over to them. Raph rushes to her side. "Red Fox! Are you okay?"

Red Fox smirks and rubs her neck saying, "It'll take more than one raging beast flinging me into a wall to keep me down." She looks at the scene before them. "Though I guess he's not so much a raging beast anymore..."

Mikey giggles and explains, "I thought his aura and Mondo's seemed kind of similar, and you did say that Mondo was looking for his family. I thought maybe the big guy was looking for his family, too"

Mondo breaks his hug with Leatherhead, and speaks with him in hushed tones, likely due to the fact that his voice can't seem to go above a whisper at the moment. Even though Leatherhead seems to only respond in guttural growls and trills, Mondo doesn't seem to have any trouble communicating with him.

The two of them walk over to Raph, Red Fox, and Mikey. Mondo bows his head and rasps out, “I'm sorry for Leatherhead here. The big guy was just worried about me and didn't know where I was. Please don't be mad at him.” By the end of his short speech, Mondo's voice was losing power and the last part came out in a worried squeak.

A sense of injustice rings in Raph’s head. It is based on the constant lectures about right and wrong that the Captain taught him. And the fact that the Captain gave him a direct order to stop the monster that had been terrorizing the town. Raph looked in the eyes of said monster, and saw himself reflected back in its blank yellow eyes. Leatherhead is calm now and Mondo is just a kid. But Leatherhead attacked the town, apparently numerous times; scared a lot of people. Worried about his family or not, that was still a criminal act, and he acted like a monster. Captain Jupiter's words ring in his mind yet again. Despite the torment twisting in his gut, Captain Jupiter's justice should win out. Right?

Raph spoke sternly. "You could have caused a lot of people harm! And you broke the law! You need to learn--"

He stops when Mikey pats his arm and says, "I think they learned enough, Raph. This was just a misunderstanding and that's no one's fault. Yeah, and he might've done some not very good things, but Leatherhead here is not a bad guy! He was just looking for his family!" Mikey smiles happily at the two of them.

"But.. they..." Raph's resolve fades fast under the stare of Mikey's innocent eyes.

Red Fox steps next to Raph and puts a hand over his clenched fist. Raph looks over to her, and she looks wistfully at the pair. Something behind her eyes seems to tell Raph that maybe she's grappling with similar thoughts. Finally, she lets out a sigh and says, "Well, I did want to make sure you at least got to your family after all this, and it looks like that worked out. I think it might be best if you leave town quickly, though.”

Mondo grins and says, "No problem. We don't do too well with the cold. We were going to leave Bedu weeks back, but got separated in the fire. Sorry again for causing trouble.”

Leatherhead grumbles something and bows his head apologetically.

Mondo then hops up onto Leatherhead's back and the two quickly make their leave with Mikey waving happily after them.

Red Fox lets out a tired sigh and says, “I should check around to see if any real damage was done and to calm the townsfolk. You look like you could use a rest, Raph, why don't you hang back here?”

Raph nods. She is right, he is a bit tired, suddenly.

As Red Fox walks off, Raph backs up to the healing house, and slides down its wall to rest. He's looking down at his hands unsure of what to make of the situation. Should he have told Red Fox that the Captain wanted to stop the monster, maybe permanently? But it wasn't a monster, as it turned out. Yeah, it was just a misunderstanding... And looking around the square it seemed like he hadn't even damaged anything or hurt anyone. He was just scary... not evil. But what does that say for others with sharp teeth and claws... Claws that had, at one time... He scrunches his eyes shut, refusing to think about a pink scar on his friend’s face. He shakes his head to clear the images from his mind. As he opens his eyes, something orange enters his vision.

Raph looks up to see Mikey staring at him, almost looking as if he had been in as deep a thought as Raph had. "You did the right thing, you know, letting them go..." Mikey says, finally.

"I guess," says Raph. "Just one thing I don't get though... How did you know he wasn't a bad guy?"

"He seemed more scared than mean. Besides..." Mikey gives him a bright grin, one that looks like it trusts anything, especially what he says next: "Not everything is black and white like that."

Raph ponders this for a moment. For all of the things that Raph has learned about Mikey. All the confusing questions he still had. It's the meaning behind that statement, that Raph was sure he'd be confused about for a long time. It didn't ring true at all to what he'd been taught, and yet, the way Mikey had said it, it was as if it was the truest thing in the world.

Mikey sits next to Raph and pats him on the arm. “I guess today is another cool story that I'll get to tell – one with you and Red Fox again. You guys really are heroic!”

A smile tugs at the side of Raph's mouth and he rubs Mikey's head, “If anyone was the hero today, it was you, little man!”

Mikey laughs sheepishly. “Haha, aww, really?” he asks, but glows with the praise.

“Yeah, really.” Raph gives him a final head pat. “Better make sure to include that in your story.”

<–previous   ///   next–>

[waitingforthet]

How well would Jimmy Olsen and Rick Jones get along?

Probably pretty poorly, since Rick is cross-dimensional pals with Snapper Carr and Jimmy supplanted Rick as the DCU’s sidekick supreme.

[dearyallfrommatt]

The "kid sidekick" deal has always fascinated me. I understand why - something for teenage boys to relate to - but it was always a bit goofy, even for Silver Age comics. "Snapper" Carr was a founding member of the Justice League & even helped make decisions in the earlier books. Can you imagine Batman or Hawkman seriously considering the recommendations of a 16-year-old hipster?

365 Marvel Comics Paper Cut-Out SuperHeroes - One Hero, Every Day, All Year…

August 20th - Rick Jones

Richard ‘Rick’ Jones was orphaned at a young age and was expelled from numerous orphanages due to his rebellious, free-spirited behavior.  As a teenager, Rick made his own way, working odd jobs and traveling from town to town.  One fateful day, Rick wandered onto a test range in New Mexico not realizing that the military was about to fire an experimental gamma bomb.  Bruce Banner, the head researcher on the project, ran out to save Rick, pushing the lad to safety just as the bomb went off.  Banner took the brunt of the blast and it had the fantastical effect of transforming him into The Incredible Hulk.  

Rick felt indebted to the scientist for having saved his life and he looked out for Banner during those times that The Hulk transformed back into his human form.  Rick became a sidekick to The Hulk and the two would have numerous adventures together.  

Rick’s association with the Hulk made him something of a celebrity among the younger generation; fame that he segued into forming a ‘teen brigade’ of like-minded youths whom Rick could rally when the need were to arise.  This brigade proved an invaluable assistance to The Avengers on a pair of occasions.  

Later, Rick became a partner to Captain America and even briefly wore the same costume of Cap’s former sidekick, Bucky.  The fear of losing another young partner to the perils of super-heroics proved too much for Cap and he ultimately forbade Rick from continuing on in the role of Bucky.  

Some time thereafter, Rick became bonded to the Kree hero, Mar-Vell, switching places with him back and forth from the Negative Zone (a role Rick would resume with Mar-Vell’s son, Genis Vell).  Rick was later brought before the Supreme Intelligence of The Kree, who opened in the young man a latent physic power that Rick was able to use to bring to an end the centuries-long Kree/Skrull Ear.  These powers returned to a dormant state following the war.  

Rick went on to marry his girlfriend, Marlo Chandler, yet the marriage sadly fell apart.  Rick was then paralyzed from the waist down following an adventure with The Hulk.  Soon thereafter, Rick became embroiled in The Destiny War wherein Kang used Rick’s buried psychic powers to amass the Avengers Forever Squad to battle Immortus.  

After briefly reuniting with Marlo and authoring a number of best selling autobiographical novels, Rick was abducted by The Intelligencia who transformed him into the Hulk-like creature known as ‘A-Bomb.’  

Rick perished during the Secret Empire ordeal but was later resurrected by way of the machinations of the nefarious Shadow Base.  Rick ended up teaming up with Gamma Flight and The Hulk to bring Shadow Base down.  He has since done his best to live a normal, civilian life.  

The perennial side-kick first appeared in the pages of The Incredible Hulk #1 (1962).  

[wanderingmind867]

I think I'm the only person in the anti denny o'neil tag. Which baffles me, because so many of his writing decisions or editing decisions grate on me. He helped platform Frank Miller! He wrote Martian Manhunter out of the JLA! He wrote Snapper Carr and Wonder Woman out of the JLA! He made Green Arrow preachy, he killed Larry Lance so Green Arrow could date Black Canary, and he made Green Arrow kick his sidekick out for being a drug addict! He also made batman overly dark and edgy again! Under his editorial watch in the 80s, they killed off Jason Todd! And I don't know the morals of letting someone write about the vicious murder of a prepubescent kid, but it seems wrong! The man made a lot (and I do mean a lot) of poor writing decisions.

There's only a few things he did okay, and I'll list them: I hate his solo batman work, but his villian work seems competent. He helped write a Joker comic book, so I appreciate that. He also did some writing for The Creeper, one of DC's most entertaining and weird heroes. And finally: his Wonder Woman and Superman stuff doesn't sound awful. It sounds loads better than his JLA or Green Lantern stuff, at least. So he did some tolerable stuff. But when he struck out, he really, really struck out. And I wish we talked about that more.

[captainofthekryptonspacemarines]

I’d like your opinion

Hello! I am exploring an idea and I’d like your opinion on whether or not this is a forced dialogue! Please tell me your thoughts.

Setting: In the Christmas Eve Battle, Reign is about to kill Supergirl when a mysterious Kryptonian Woman comes in and in one swift fist fight, makes Reign retreat with a broken arm and jaw. The media has a frenzy with this new Kryptonian and speculation is made over whether National City has a new protector. The following conversation happens:

Lena: So, I might not now much of Media Empires but I do know a good story when I see one. How are we on the mystery woman?

James: Not a single clear picture of her. Anywhere. I can’t believe it. And Snapper is not doing any better with the name

Lena: We need one right now. People are wondering everything about her. From what will her outfit be like to if she’s gonna be Supergirl’s sidekick or her own thing. Right now she’s the newest world wonder and Cat Grant will have my head if we don’t name her.

Kara: How about...Wonder Woman?

Thoughts?

[howtohero]

#215 Superheroes’ Pals

As your superhero career goes on you’ll find yourself spending more and more time in your superhero identity. You’ll find yourself fighting more crimes, saving more worlds, and making more enemies. But you’ll also, against all odds, and specifically in defiance of our sound advice, make some friends. A superhero’s pal is exactly what it sounds like, just a guy who is friends with a superhero. They’re not a superhero, they’re not any sort of specialist in anything, they don’t particularly help the superhero in any way. They’re just a friendly guy.

If you decide to get yourself a pal in your superhero identity you should know that you are needlessly endangering this poor person. But also, hey props to you. Making friends is hard. And I know you’re not exactly in a position where you can be rejecting friends. Plus, in your defense, most superhero’s pals initiate the relationship themselves. They’ll show up to all your battles and snap pictures or they’ll just tail you until you agree to hang out with them or they’ll hurl themselves out of a window and hope that you’ll swoop in and save them. (Or maybe not just you, maybe they don’t care who saves them from their act of self-defenestration. They just want a superhero friend and aren’t especially picky.) If this is the case, then just being their friend might even seem like the safer option. Then they can just text you when they wanna hang instead of jogging out into traffic or lathering themselves with bbq sauce and then wandering into the lion pit. (Not the enclosure in the zoo, the inexplicable pit of lions that was left in the middle of your city after some supervillain plot that nobody can remember.) Plus, a rejected pal might just turn into a jaded and resentful supervillain. Or you might just genuinely like them and want to be their friend. These things have been known to happen. But the whole entire reason you have two identities is to protect your loved ones, so if you have loved ones in your superhero identity, well that’s just a paradox waiting to collapse in on itself. You might have to invent a third even superheroic-er identity. An identity that is so super that is diverts the attention of all your enemies, but so aloof that they don’t pick up friends and hangers on. <Oh! I actually think that lion thing was one of mine. The plot was to put a lion pit in the middle of the city and then wipe everybody’s minds about how it got there.>

It’s a bit harsh, but having a superhero’s pal is very much akin to having a pet. They can’t look after themselves on the level that they’re going to need to. You’re personally responsible for their safety. But they love you a whole lot. So it’s not all bad. Your superhero’s pal can always be counted on to go to bat for you in the court of public opinion. They’ll sort of be like your mascot, but without the doofy costume. You’re going to have a monopoly on doofy costumes in this relationship. Anytime you get attacked in the press or on Greg Greginski’s new show “Superheroes are Bad with Greg Greginski” or in an online chatroom (and be sure, you are being maligned in the chatrooms. Frequent topics include “Haha did you see when he tried to show how high he could kick and then fell on his butt” or “Haha did you know this loser didn’t even know about the online chatrooms”) your pal will jump in there and defend you with an astounding amount of increasingly ostentatious epithets. The trade-off though, is that whenever they’re in trouble, you’re expected to come help them. Superheroes’ pals usually receive a direct line of communication to the superhero that they are palling around with. (Occasionally in the form of a special signal watch, less occasionally in the form of a regular old telegraph). This can be a bit of a culture shock to you, as you’ve been very diligent not to give your personal communication device’s number/hailing frequency/extension to anybody who is not a fellow superhero, world leader, or your mom/maternal figure. But this guy’s your pal and pals give each other their phone numbers. It’s just part of the deal. Be warned though, there’s a bit of a learning curve to giving your personal contact info to a civilian. Be prepared to receive emergency distress signals late at night and rush over only to find out that you’ve just been invited to a pizza party or that your pal just needs someone to quiz him on his Spanish. 

Another thing you should know about civilians who become close personal friends of superheroes is that soon, they’re going to become tired of just being the civilian pal. They’re going to hear all of your stories, or witness your grand feats, or watch you fly off with your sidekick or your living hover board (Shoutout to Brandy the living hover board. She’s like a modern day magic carpet who can do sick loop-de-loops and always has the hottest of hot goss.) and they’re going to start resenting their roll on the sidelines. So they’ll try their hand at becoming your sidekick, or partner, or if they’ve got a obnoxiously inflated sense of importance, your mentor. On paper this might seem like a fine idea, who wouldn’t want to fight crime and hang out with Brandy the living hover board with their best friend? But unless and until they can bring something useful to the table, they’re just making your job much harder. The last thing you need when fighting crime is a bumbling civilian who thinks they know how to fight crime because they’ve watched their super powered friend do it a dozen times. But that’s not good enough! That’s nothing! I once watched my friend snowboard down a mountain during an avalanche while being chased by no less than five (some sources reported four but I swear it was five) abominables snowman but does that mean I can do it too? No! Of course not! I would die probably nine different times before making it to the bottom of the mountain. (And that friend... was me.) No it wasn’t, it was Dale. (Who’s Dale?) Oh you don’t Dale? (I don’t think I’ve ever had the displeasure of meeting this Dale.) Oh you should, he’s a great guy, he’s good at skiing. Anyway, your civilian pal isn’t even observant enough to have worked out your secret identity and they think they’ve been paying enough attention to face off against Knife-Man? The man who is made entirely out of superheroes’ pals stabbing knives??? Fat chance. However, you shouldn’t just rebuff your friend outright. (See our earlier point about rejected superheroes’ pals.) If your civilian friend asks you to let them join you in the field tell them that you’re definitely interested, but only if they prove that they can make a valuable contribution in the field. This will inspire them to actually work for what they’re yearning for. With any luck they’ll learn how to fight or start studying nuclear physics or join the police academy and soon enough, you’ll have a new valuable partner in the field.

In this vein, many superheroes’ pals will, at some point or another, attempt to gain superpowers. This will invariably always work, every time. Sometimes they’ll even gain powers without even trying. But just as assuredly, every time a superheroes’ pal gains powers, it will only be for a short time. Any time a civilian gets close to a superhero they become 100 times more likely to gain superpowers from a supervillain experiment or a life saving blood transfusion from their superhero pal or just because some fifth-dimensional imp thought it would be an interesting new wrinkle to whatever story they’re observing. It’s one of the fringe benefits of being buds with a superhero I suppose. But just as your pals learns to control or accept their powers, they will, every single time, lose them. This is just one of those areas of life where the status quo reigns supreme. 

Superheroes’ pals are one of the most novel aspects of superheroism. They’re part fanboy, part asset, part best friend who is just kept in the dark regarding a significant chunk of your life. Superheroes’ pals can be relied on to defend you in the public eye, to lend an ear when you need someone to talk to, and to write extremely flattering biographies about your life that don’t even mention the time you accidentally blew up a planet or the other time when you spilled spaghetti sauce all over your costume. Superheroes’ pals, they’re like regular pals, but super.

[eighthman-bound]

I’m pretty sure that’s Snapper Carr, been in show since s1 but I don’t blame anyone for forgetting him. Used to be schoolteacher to Connor, everyone lives in his house now it seems, I think the tie in comics revealed he used to be sidekick to the Justice Society so that’s why they all trust him

Help I'm watching yj and Im lost, who's the brown haired guy in front?

[anon--h]

So what I am doing right now is essentially elaborate fanfiction. Season 2 of Supergirl was written extremely clumsily; it had a few great ideas that didn’t get explored enough and a few horrible ideas that got explored too much. The trailer and recent announcements that Mon-El will return really don't inspire much confidence and I am not even sure I will continue watching if things will proceed as poorly as I fear they will. 

We reached the point that I am convinced a fanfic writer can do better, and so a fanfic writer shall.

To further handicap myself, I won't retcon the established plans. Reign is still gonna show up, Maggie is still there but is getting even less screentime, Supercorp and Karolsen are still not happening, Kat gets to be in 4 episodes tops and Alex's dad is still out in the woods somewhere. Okay? Okay. Let's get started.

So let’s make like the Supergirl staff and put Mon-El first. Short version: no, Mon-El isn’t in this season. If it were up to me, we’d be done with his character the moment season 2 ended. His arc was done. He serves no further purpose other than distracting attention away from Kara. Any capable writer would at least give Kara time to mourn and/or develop before even hinting at bringing him back, otherwise what was the point? So, Mon-El is benched for at least 1 season. I’d bring him back for the season dealing with Kara’s clone (whenever that may be) because there he may actually add to the plot. If however we are contractually obliged to keep him in the CWniverse, I would have him recruited by the Legends of Tomorrow. This would be a chance for him to further explore what it means to be a hero, give him a chance to show us what he's like without Kara's infinite patience/support and actually place him in the position of the moral compass for a change. That could actually be fun. Show us what season 2 kept telling us and actually let him show that he is a hero now. Get Steel out, get Valor in. They basically have the same powerset anyway. Instead of history expert Nate, they now get alien expert Mon-El.

Now let’s discuss Kara’s arc; 5 words that were never spoken by the writing staff of season 2. Now Kara is understandably a little lost after the events of season 2. She's upset, she feels alone, she barely shows up to work at all. Of course, she insists she is fine, but she doesn't conceal her emotions very well. We get glimpses of her Scooby Gang visiting her, trying to cheer her up. We get Winn, Lyra and James visiting her, trying to take her mind off of things by explaining monopoly to Lyra. Lena calls her, very blatantly hinting at an invention that could easily make the frontpage of Catco magazine. She is genuinely surprised to be visisted by Snapper instead. Eliza visits, J'ohn visits, even Maggie and M'Gann visit, but no one really gets through to her. Finally, we get a very emotional couch scene with Alex, who tells Kara to grieve for as long as she needs. It’s not strange, no one thinks less of her for it, she has every right to take some time to heal.

But this is a superhero jam, so things needs to go down and we get the first appearance of Reign. She just crash-landed on earth and is lashing out, laying waste to an entire city. J'ohn tries to go at it alone with M'Gann, but it is swiftly made clear that they lack the firepower. Kara is called into action and when Alex explains that J'ohn is in danger, she leaps right out the window. Reign, being made by a Zor-El, ceases her violence against the martians when she sees Supergirl appear and recognizes her crest. The two begin their fight, while Reign demands to know why she was made. A question Kara can't answer. Mirroring Man of Steel, we see some large scale destruction going on. Kara saves who she can, but it only results in her further getting pummeled. Reign being one of the big bads this seasons beats the snot out of Kara, but because of a timely intervention of Alex, Kara manages to wound her enough to force a retreat, ending the first episode.

The second episode we find Kara in civilian clothes at the DEO. The news shows Supergirl fighting Reign and blaming her for yet another alien that attacks humanity to get to her. Kara tries to shrug it off, but is put on the same story by Snapper. "The Daxamites were looking for her specifically, this grey woman is after her as well. Grrrr endangering the public grrrrr." Kara tries to defend herself, but Snapper explains that objectively, we are 2-for-2 in hostile alien invasions seemingly caused by Supergirl. To make matters worse, Livewire has been spotted in National City again, and seems to be calling out Supergirl specifically to get under her skin. Livewire goads her, taunts her and seems to have gotten significantly more powerful. Finally, she goes for the cheap shots and mentions 'that cute sidekick that used to hang out with her.' and asks if he kicked the bucket so soon, laughing at his incompetence. Kara loses it and Winn depowers Livewire through science magic and James’s help. Even beaten to near death, Livewire continues taunting Supergirl, finally daring 'the girlscout' to kill her already. Kara seriously charges her eyes, and screams in anger, about to kill a person, but Alex talks her out of it. Livewire is put into DEO custody by a trembling Kara, who begins breaking shit in a rage the moment she is out of sight. She tries to explain her frustration, but breaks down crying and is hugged by Maggie and Alex in an attempt to calm down.

We end episode 2 with a red streak in space, getting closer to earth, zooming in on the US, zooming in further to National City, zooming in further and further until it reaches Kara's appartment and crashes down. 'Kara Zor-El of Earth. You have great rage within you. You have been chosen to join the Red Lantern Corpse."

That's right, this season will essentially be Supergirl's Venom arc. Different logistics, same core deal. This may not be the most original course of action, but I see some major benefits. We get to explore Kara, her emotions and relations to the other characters, it puts the agency back with her, opens up a realm of new story possibilities and space shit gives J’ohn something to do besides barking orders and fumbling his relation with M’Gann. Melissa Benoist is a good Supergirl and definitely not a bad actress. Giving her the chance to express more anger and extreme emotion in her character would make for a fun performance. Finally, it gives her a costume change (because come on, third season without a new outfit?). It's not a permanent change because duh, Venom arc. The ultimate enemy this season will be both Reign and Kara's own self-destructive rage/grief. She’ll return to her classic outfit for the finale, having learned to healthily deal with her anger. Of course, the Red Lantern lore needs to be changed a bit to make it fit, but that's nothing CW isn't used to. Chances of a CW Green Lantern are pretty low and no one else is using it, so let’s go nuts with it.

Kat Grant, during the first episodes of the second half of the season will be the one to talk some sense into Kara. “Supergirl is a symbol of hope, not this little ball of insecure rage she’s pretending to be now. I swear, it’s that red kryptonite episode of hers all over again, minus the sex-appeal”. “Of course she’s angry Kiera. Everyone gets angry. Ghandi got angry, but we don’t let that anger define us.”

So, Kara decides to try and take the ring off, but a part of the red lantern lore we’re not changing is that this is impossible without aid of a blue lantern. Still, Kara very consciously tries to keep her anger in check from here on out, but ends up killing a man by flipping out in rage near the end of the season. I suggest bringing back Maxwell Lord to close off that chapter and because my self-indulgent ass deserves something nice. By the end of the season Kara manages to take the ring off and defeat Reign in her classic outfit, as is the standard for Venom arcs. To take the ring off, she will need the help of temporary Blue Lantern Alex, James, M’Gann or Lena. All 4 of them inspire/experience great hope in one capacity or another. Green might be a better fit, but you know, story purposes.

When bringing peace to Kara, both red and blue rings get rejected by their owners and the season finale can commence. My inner supercorp shipper says Lena has to be the blue lantern. Bringing her in contact with Saint Walker would be a fun exploration of her relation with aliens, but I really want the series to continue exploring the relationship between the Danvers sisters. Speaking of which…..

Alex needs to close her daddy issues arc and she needs to close it fast. What started out as a fairly interesting subplot has lost all pace, agency and consistency. Homecoming was one of the most embarrassing episodes of season two and the sooner we’re done with the Jeremiah arc, the better. So here’s what’s gonna happen. Seeing Supergirl get reckless and more aggressive sends CADMUS into panic mode, because ‘omg, evil kryptonian waiting to happen’ and they task Jeremiah with one last job. He agrees, but demands to do it *his* way. Cut to the next scene/episode and dad Danvers surrenders himself to the DEO. Obviously, no one trusts him and J’ohn is determined to keep him under constant surveillance. Alex and Kara hear about it immediately and they try to talk about their grievances, but Jeremiah is shady af. He explains seeing Kara as a red lantern concerned him, but we’re still in the early parts of her arc at this point; she is convinced she got it under control and is stronger than ever. Meanwhile, he sees the dangers of a kryptonian going mad with rage. He tries to convince Alex to see it his way, but after his last stunt in season 2, she remains supportive of Kara. In CADMUS’s attempt to retrieve him and Jeremiah’s inevitable double cross, Jeremiah dies while taking down Hank Hanshaw. It A) makes his sacrifice worth something and B) rid us of Hank Hanshaw. I’m sorry but he doesn’t work as Cyborg Superman, getting rid of him is a kindness. Unfortunately, a sample of Kara’s DNA was delivered to Lilian Luthor for project Galatea, leading into the Power Girl arc in one of the following seasons. Important! Alex, Kara and Eliza get a chance to mourn. Give us a few scenes, a few establishing shots, showing that Jeremiah’s death is acknowledged by the characters. Show how Eliza reacts to the sudden closure of their tragic relationship. I know, duh, but I feel like it should be mentioned because as established; I don’t trust the Supergirl writers. Also, it is kind of a theme this season. Alex’s engagement and probable marriage to Maggie this season may have to be the B-plot for her. Considering Maggie is getting less screentime, this’ll give us some scenes where she can support her gf with her plot, while the two are fantasizing about and planning their wedding. A season-spanning plotline for Maggie would be fun, but is unlikely to occur and even less likely to be handled well. Going by the promo, I suggest turning the plot upside down and allow Maggie to cut her homophobic father out of her life entirely because she is a grown woman and doesn’t need that toxic influence in her life. If the SG writers think of that themselves, kudos. If she has to be the bigger person and forgive her homophobic relative just because he’s a relative, my eyes might pop out of my skull from rolling too much.

I am honestly not sure what game the writers are playing with Reign and Lena. It is actually the only plot for season 3 I am sincerely interested in seeing play out, along with the Sanvers scenes. Allegedly Lena and Reign are linked somehow and I sincerely hope we’re not getting a distant siblings/lena is half alien reveal. Because that’s stupid. And really dumb. And stupid. Instead, I suggest making her what Mon-El should have been; a reflection of Supergirl. Reign/Sam becomes what would have happened if Kara had not been raised by the Danvers and used her powers for selfish ends. She isn’t even looking to conquer. She just wants answers about her existence and live in the comfort she feels she deserves, but goes about her quest with no regard for human life or decency leaving a trail of destruction in her wake. Unintentionally however, she becomes entangled with Lena Luthor and the two become good friends. As Sam, she becomes Lena’s secretary, sadly dropping fan favorite Jess but furthering her parallels with Kara. Meanwhile Lena helps her find out about what she’s made for as bessie mates. Sam will try to physically destroy Lena’s enemy for the season and Lena will have to play moral compass. ‘I’ll kill everyone in this room.’ ‘Sam no.’ ‘Sam yes!’ This will cause some fun tension between Sam and Kara too, as they can only shoot each other nasty looks when Lena is in the room. Reign being a CW villain probably isn’t going to survive the season finale, which is a shame cause they could really use another recurring villain. Considering CW has been trying to paint Lena as a potential villain since the beginning of season 2 however, this is as good a time as any to do it. Supergirl won’t deal the killing blow to Reign but Lena, primed by Lilian, will blame her nonetheless. Bonuspoints if she discovers her identity in the process, reducing her friends list from 4 to 0 in one bad day.

So those are the main plotlines I’d lay out for Supergirl season 3, connected by a theme of dealing with grief. Kara learns that it’s okay to be angry in her grief but to not let it consume her. Alex mourns the death of their dad in a pretty healthy way, surrounded by friends and family, though perhaps feels a little guilty for being so glad with getting closure and her upcoming wedding. Lena deals with the death of Sam in an unhealthy manner, tries to push Kara away and might go down the path of an anti-hero next season.

I know this is just elaborate fanfiction. Of course I do, I said so at the beginning of this thing. But, I felt it necessary to make a point. Season 2 was an awkward, clumsily assembled mess and even folks with only a passing interest in storytelling could have done better. I am not excluding the possibility that the Supergirl writers/producers will surprise me next season, but if they continue the trends set by season 2, I will probably drop the show by episode 5.

I mean, I can always watch the Sanvers and Reign/Lena scenes on youtube later.

[crypticdropkick]

Cat: *aiming kitchen sink sprinkler*

Leslie: National City is boring and cold and stupid without you

Cat: Not my problem, Leslie

Leslie: Pretty sure Snapper Carr fired Kara Danvers

Cat: I have faith that she'll make things right

Leslie: Catco went kaboom

Cat: I'm insured

Leslie: Supergirl is dating her sidekick and he su-uuuucks

Cat: What?! Catco, you say?! Goodbye, Leslie, I have to leave i m m e d i a t e l y