#The Road ahead is long but I am Free (Moved on verse)

[glacierxheart]

@psticide​ for that sweet Todoroki drama

Rei finds herself anxious, purse sat in her lap as she tries and keep her quirk from frosting over the strap of her purse from her nerves. It had been a rocky road getting to this point, having finally proven herself mentally competent to have access to the Todoroki finances once more. She had decided to use the new resources at her disposal to truly start fresh, including doing away with the doctors she had been subjected to for years. 

Instead, one of the lesser known nurses had suggested this particular doctor and clinic for her to visit, and while pricy Rei hadn’t exactly found anything amiss. It seemed like a respectable practice, and surely Enji-Endeavor’s reach didn’t extend to every medical branch or facility. 

No more pills being shoved at her or the same questions about the incident repeated over and over every single day as if it would change what happened or her answer- No.

No she was doing quite better, and was making a new start for herself and her family.

Which is how she finds herself waiting patiently to be called in to be seen, having decided to make an appointment due to her severely sore joints as of late. 

[keelywolfe]

FIC: A Lonely Impulse of Despair (standalone)

Summary:  They knew about the anomaly and the resets, but forewarned is not always forearmed.

Notes:  I got this idea into my head that what-if all the skeletons knew at least something about the anomaly and the resets and this is where it went. Read the tags!

Tags: Spicyhoney, References to Undertale Genocide Route, Dark, Angst, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Rough Sex, Lemony

Read it on AO3

or

Read it here!

~~*~~

Snowdin always lived in darkness, broken only by the lighted lamps along the streets, powered by the core. There was no sun underground, no illusion of dawn and dusk. It was morning simply because the clocks stated it to be so, and that morning, Edge left his home to walk down the empty streets to the shops at the far end of town.

The other houses in town stood vacant. There was an occasional window lit, flickering light casting shadows out onto the snowdrifts, but their former inhabitants were gone.

There was no sign of any violence in those homes. None of those windows were broken, the doors undamaged. He’d gone into one where the door was standing open and found dishes in the sink, a pie sitting on the back of the counter for an upcoming dessert. Half-folded laundry sat in a basket, books and toys strewn about as if they were only waiting for their owners to return.

Edge touched nothing, only left and closed the door carefully behind him.

On this morning, snow was falling in a silent flurry. The flakes were piling up on streets that were no longer cleared daily by the Bun family. It was barely a hinderance. His boots cut easily through the loose drifts as he walked, alone, down to the other side of town.

There were children here once. Not so carefree as the ones he’d seen in the other Universes but even here on clear days they played in the snow until their parents called them back inside as the more dangerous night hours came.

A ridiculous notion. The illusion of safety during the day hours was just that, an illusion. There was no difference in the Underground and every minute of any day could bring treacherous events.

From a distance, Edge could see the lights were still on in the store. He’d left them on the day before when he’d come this same way. The store was the closest building to the edge of town that led into the woods surrounding it. If anyone were still out there, those lights could guide them into Snowdin.

The bell over the door rang as Edge pushed it open, a cheery warning to no one at all. The shop was as empty as the homes. The shelves had never been fully stocked at any time in Edge’s memory and the meagre offerings lining them were thinner than ever. There were no more fresh baked goods and only a handful of dried food remained. Most of the commodities left were canned, their lids coated with a thin layer of dust.

(dust, so much dust, how could it be)

Half of the remaining stock would have fit in Edge’s knapsack. It would make more sense to take all the food there and bring it home with him. Spare him the walk out in the open, keep him with necessary provisions for a time. Sensible.

Edge only took enough for the day and carefully noted what remained so he would know if anyone else came scavenging. Monster food would not rot or spoil, but eventually, he was going to run out of rations.

He gathered up the day’s supplies into his knapsack and went back outside into the swirling snow. He didn’t follow his half-buried tracks back home, instead going around the outskirts of town along the perimeter. None of his traps were disturbed, there was no indication that anyone had traveled this way. Just as it had been yesterday and the day before and the day before that. No signs, no people, no other Monsters.

There was nothing in the woods but hungry shadows that beckoned and cajoled for him to join them. Come to us, they said, there is nothing left for you in that town but emptiness and death. Come with us into the swirling snow and listen to secrets that only the mountain knows.

Edge ignored their call. He stopped at the borders of Waterfall where the snow began to melt into sludge and turned back, heading into town along the main road. He was nearly home when he caught sight of something that stopped him in his tracks. A figure in a familiar orange hoodie was sitting on his front porch steps, casually disregarding of the signs to ‘keep out’ and ‘beware’ that were strung on the barbed wire fence around it. There was a lit cigarette in his hand and Edge watched him lift it to his mouth and take a long drag, the exhaled smoke lost in the falling snow.

He hitched his knapsack higher on his shoulder and resumed his stride. Stretch didn’t look at him as he approached. “hey.”

Edge said nothing.

“you’re still here,” Stretch said. He tapped ash from his cigarette, exposing burning red at the tip. “thought maybe you’d’ve headed into new home.” He tipped his head back and looked up at what was not sky, but the high ceiling of a cave deep beneath the mountain that was both their prison and their home. “might be other refugees there keeping ahead of—” He hesitated, then added in a voice like hollow ice, “the anomaly.”

The anomaly, yes. The Human child whose soul offered no salvation, only death and dust.

A child, that was what Edge saw in that one brief instant when he came upon them on the road leading into Snowdin. An innocent child, and in his shock, he didn’t consider how they’d gotten past the Dogs or the traps. He didn’t notice the dust coating their clothes, didn’t even notice the knife in their hand. All he saw was the striped shirt, the round, cherubic face and in that instant, he was so taken aback that he paused. That moment of hesitation was all it took.

If Edge saw them again, he wouldn’t hesitate to strike them down, Edge told himself. He would cut that angelic head from their striped shoulders with a single cutting blow and leave them dead where they stood, even knowing he would never get the answer to his one question.

Why didn’t you kill me?

He told himself that was what he would do the next time and knew it wasn’t true.

It never was.

Stretch finished his cigarette and flicked the butt into the snow. “doesn’t help much to know this,” Stretch sighed, “but what the hell. you’re gonna forget this all. one morning you’ll wake up and it’ll be an all-new day. you’ll forget everything, the kid, the pain.” His grimace twisted into a crooked smile. “you’ll even forget me, for a little while. silver linings, am i right?”

“Why are you here?” How many days had it been since he’d last spoken? Edge wasn’t certain, but to his hearing, his voice was harsh with disuse, painfully hoarse.

Stretch rolled his shoulders in an approximation of a hug. “checking in. no one’s heard from this ‘verse in a couple weeks. wasn’t too hard to figure out what was going down.”

Not a difficult guess at all, he was sure. They all knew about the resets, all of them. They knew an anomaly came and what it did, and the price Monsters paid for their hubris was death. He’d known what was coming, he’d been braced for it since his brother took him down to the basement and showed the machine, the path to the other worlds where skeletons with faces that resembled their own lived in towns that were not their home. Anomalies, they explained, resets where time flowed backwards and took memory with it.

He’d known and he’d still failed, failed, because he hadn’t expected death would come with the face of a child.

“Come inside.” Edge didn’t wait to see if Stretch followed.

Inside, Stretch paused on the doormat, glancing around the living room. “keeping the homestead clean, i see, i—whoa!”

His breath left him in a grunt as Edge took hold of his sweatshirt and swung him around, shoving him up against the closed door. The faces were inches apart as Edge gritted out, “Why are you here?”

There was no fear on Stretch’s face, only that same irritating smirk beneath a deadened gaze. “told you, wanted to check on you.” He shrugged again, this time tight and nervous. “no one else was gonna. no one’s real sure what’ll happen if the reset comes while someone from another ‘verse is in town. probably shouldn’t even be here, but, eh, guess i ain’t too bright.”

The question of what would happen if you were in a different universe when the reset occurred had been asked before and it was one without an answer. There was simply no way of knowing if anyone had already tested it. For all anyone knew, they might all once have had an elder brother who tested the theory and found the price was a high one. “You might be leaving your brother alone.”

“heh.” A soft laugh, but Stretch’s gaze shifted, moving to look past Edge at the wall on the other side. “ain’t like i’ve ever been able to save him, anyway.”

Edge didn’t step back, but he loosened his grip on Stretch’s sweatshirt, let him slide a little down until his feet were firm on the floor. “If you’re here to try to convince me to leave Underfell—"

“nah. wouldn’t do that to you. see, i’d ask and you’d say no but you’d feel bad about it.” Stretch shook his head. “nah, you already don’t want to travel, i’m not about to send you on a guilt trip. who’s to say it’s safer, anyway. maybe you’d come over to visit and when the reset hit here, it’d drag you back on home through time and space. not my idea of fun.”

“Is that why you’re here?” Edge demanded. “For fun? Come to see Underfell at its safest?” He stepped back enough to wave a hand towards the window as mockingly as Mettaton on their latest game show. “Please, feel free. Wander through the woods, stroll down main street. But I warn you, the scenery will disappoint. There’s nothing out there. I’ve looked. There’s no one, nothing.” His voice was rising, going shrill and Edge shut his mouth, teeth clicking together painfully.

Patiently, hinting at petulance, Stretch said, “i told you, came here to check on you. it’s hard to be the last one around, all you can do is sweep up, put the chairs on the table, and wait for them to turn the open sign on again.”

Edge searched his face. Their skulls were more malleable than simple bone, their magic gave them life and Stretch’s skull was creased from worry, wearing his exhaustion like a skin. Beneath his sockets were grey shadows that spoke of sleepless nights.

They’d never gotten along, he and Stretch. Something about the other skeleton grated on him past the fact that he despite his face, he was more like Red—

(don’t, don’t think about him, don’t)

--than Edge. Not his twin, but a reversal, a twisted mirror image come to visit from the other side of the looking glass.

Despite his smiles, right now he looked more like Edge than ever, blank and bone-weary.

There was nothing inside Edge. Even his soul was empty, its contents drained by loss, cold and bitter as the snow that danced as it fell.

Yet, deep in the dregs of soul’s ashes there was a single spark left, and Edge reached for it, desperate for any lingering warmth. He leaned up and kissed Stretch, their teeth grinding together almost painfully.

Between their mouths, Stretch made a startled sound, but he made no attempt to pull away. He stood there with his shoulders pressed to the door and let Edge take his mouth, their tongues meeting in a furious tangle. He tasted sweet and did not flinch from the jaggedness of Edge’s teeth, licking daringly at the points in a silent, mocking challenge.

The spark inside him flared, kindling caught, and Edge tore away, panting. Before Stretch could offer a word, taunting or otherwise, Edge took him by the wrist and dragged him stumblingly over to the sofa. He pushed Stretch down, bent him over the threadbare cushion of the arm. Tall as he was, if he’d chosen to struggle, it would have been difficult to pin him. Instead, he sagged willingly down against the sofa arm, let it angle his pelvis upward even as he shifted in a deliberate writhe of offering.

The gray that had haunted Edge’s vision for days receded, like a shroud pulled from over his sockets. He took hold of Stretch’s ridiculous, saggy pants and yanked them down to his ankles to rest on top of his dirty sneakers. Beneath them he was bare, his magic forming in his pelvis. The bright orange filled his sight to overflowing and the slit of his cunt glistened like a taunt.

Without warning, Edge pressed two careless fingers to the opening, slipping both inside and Stretch lurched under him, a strangled cry escaping him. He was merely damp, not nearly wet enough for what Edge intended.

He kept a hand at Stretch’s hip to hold him still and dropped to his knees to bury his face against those soft folds, pushing his tongue in alongside his fingers. A sudden buck nearly threw him off and Edge held him down more firmly, slicking his tongue up that cleft between his scissoring fingers, wetting him thoroughly. Stretch whimpered, shivering, his hips rocking back desperately against fingers and mouth both.

“oh, fuck,” Stretch whined. His breath came in ragged blurts, catching and resuming in a shattered cadence. “edge, your mouth…fuck!” His fingers were curled into the sofa cushion beneath his skull, gripping tightly as Edge pushed his tongue deeply inside, tasting a sudden blurt of honey-sweet wetness that allowed his fingers to move easier.

Slowly, Edge stood, letting his fingers slip free and wiping them on his pantleg. He stood there a moment, taking in the sight in front of him. The quiver in Stretch’s shoulders, the perfect arch of his spine beneath his rucked-up sweatshirt, his femurs spread as wide as his hobbling pants allowed. The shift of his hips was as eager as the wet pussy between them and wordlessly, Edge unzipped his trousers and pulled out his cock. He spit in his hand and spread the wetness on his shaft before lining up. He held there a moment, pussy lips parted around the broad head and the slippery opening clenching around it as if trying to suck him inside.

Over his own unsteady breathing was a constant stream of obscenity and begging, words spilling endlessly from Stretch. With a long, slow thrust, Edge pressed inside, ignoring Stretch’s increasingly desperate pleading and the urgent rise of his hips. When he was hilted inside, their pelvic girdles grazing against each other, Edge was forced to pause, closing his sockets at the unbearable intimacy of it. Edge couldn’t remember the last time he’d touched someone else, but it was before the anomaly (child) ever came here. Even the person he was closest to, his brother, never touched him, not since he was small and they curled up together to sleep, less affection and more to share their body warmth.

The slick tight heat surrounding his shaft was an overload to his touch deprivation, the rippling clench dragging a ragged cry from him as he tried not to come in an instant. Edge took a steading breath, licked his teeth and tasted his own sweat mingled with the sweetness of cunt, and only then did he move.

“nnngg, god!” Stretch sobbed out, his limp body battered against the sofa as Edge found a rhythm, pounding into him with a metronome-steady pace. His scant ectoflesh offered little cushion, their pelvic bones clacking together achingly. Edge ignored the discomfort, thrusting harder still and listening for protests that did not come.

Beneath him, Stretch covered his mouth with a hand, stifling himself even as he pleaded for more, for harder, fuck me harder, you bastard. His other struggled to reach beneath him, his skinny fingers briefly jabbing where they were joined as he sought out his clit. Edge felt it from within as he found it, the strangling clench of his cunt around him, and choked on a curse as he fucked in hard, his driving rhythm faltering, breaking, as orgasm struck him. He was empty inside, but he filled Stretch with the heat of his come, spilled in thick, hot pulses as Stretch whined and quivered, accepting his offering.

Withdrawing was difficult, made harder by both the spasming clutch of cunt and his own reluctance. In the end, Edge snatched himself free with the haste of someone (a child) pulling off a band-aid from a barely healed wound. He watched the crimson spill of his magic as it followed, wet streaks dripping down to paint the inside of Stretch’s femurs. Stretch didn’t move, his breathing still coming in hitched gasps as he laid in a half-crumpled drape over the sofa arm, his long legs still splayed, leaving him used and exposed.

Edge tugged his pants closed, his zipper loud in the silence. “You need to go.”

“heh.” Stretch stirred, his sockets slitting opened as he shifted enough to look over his shoulder. “kicking me out already? your afterglow sucks.”

“Be that as it may, you can’t be here when it resets.”

Perhaps something of the kindled spark in Edge transferred to Stretch somehow, in his kiss, in his come, in his words, he didn’t know which. There was some emotion in the smirk Stretch offered him, his gaze less empty as he asked, “worried about me, edgelord?”

“Yes.” The raw honesty was all he could muster.

Stretch exhaled, long and slow, turning his face briefly into the cushions where they’d all sat once, crowded together on the cushions to watch silly movies that were scavenged from the dump. With a low grunt, he slowly pushed up to his feet. He staggered and Edge caught him by the arm, holding him up as Stretch reached awkwardly for his pants, hauling them up over his stained femurs.

“yeah, i should probably go,” Stretch said. He didn’t move, his hands fluttering nervously to his pockets as if to reach for his cigarettes then aborting, moving aimlessly before returning to his pockets before repeating (resetting) again. “listen, you won’t remember this after and my memory is gonna get all smudgy again, but.” For one moment, Stretch’s gaze was entirely unshielded. Edge couldn’t decipher what he saw in his eyelights before he took reached out, taking hold of Edge’s face between both hands as he leaned in to kiss him, softly. A brief, gentle meeting of mouths still sore from the brutality of earlier, then he pulled away. “maybe we can do this again sometimes.” Unguarded eye lights above a crooked smile, then Stretch turned away as he added, carelessly. “hell, could be we already did.”

“Stretch.” He paused at the door, browbones raised, and Edge blurted out, “Do you think they remember what they’ve done? After a reset, do they know?”

A brief silence, then Stretch said, slowly, “to be honest? i’m not even sure it’s the same kid every time.” Stretch shrugged, a loose roll of his shoulders as if his ligaments still weren’t too tight. “maybe somewhere out there someone is sharing a controller. anyway, your bro should be sending ‘em back to the start menu soon enough.”

“Yes.” His brother. If he was still alive and don’t, don’t, don’t.

Stretch left without another word, the door closing softly behind him, and Edge gathered up his knapsack from where he’d dropped it to get his supplies.

He ate directly from the cans and tasted nothing.

Afterward, Edge curled up on the sofa that smelled of their sex, his cheekbone resting on the faded fabric close to the still-damp stains as he waited for the world to end or to begin again.

Whichever came first.

-fin

[callboxkat]

Just Your Average Ghost Hunt

Author’s note: I felt like writing a one-shot today, taking a break from my longer WIPs, and here’s the result! I hope you all enjoy.

Summary: Virgil has a YouTube channel where he talks about cryptids and conspiracy theories. Tonight, he sets out with his friend Roman on a ghost hunt. 

Warnings: ghosts, talk of death and murder, some crude humor, fear, Remus

Word Count: 1818

Writing Masterpost!

...

“You remembered the camera, right?”

“Wha—of course I remembered the camera! Come on, give me a little credit.”

“And it’s charged?”

Roman pouted at him, slinging his bag over his shoulder.

Virgil smirked, hopping out of the car. “Just checking.”

“It’s your camera, isn’t charging it your job?”

“Knowing you, you’d happily run down the battery before we even got here, with all those selfies you take.”

“That’s what my phone’s for,” Roman claimed, jutting out his chin. He slung the camera strap around his neck, double checking that it was secure.

“Oh, I see.”

“We’re not going to get in trouble for coming here, are we?” Roman asked, following after his friend and staring up the road.

“What, are you scared, Princey?”

“No, I just—”

“Because if you’re scared,” Virgil sighed dramatically, “we can go, I guess, but you have to be the one to tell Logan we still haven’t gotten his proof of ghosts. It’s your fault if he thinks we just couldn’t find it.”

Roman huffed. “What is it with you and proving to him that ghosts are real, anyway, Winnie the Boo? Isn’t talking about cryptids and conspiracies more your usual gig?”

Virgil raised an eyebrow. “Is that really the best nickname you can come up with? Wow, you really must be scared.”

“What, we’re on a ghost hunt, aren’t we? And don’t avoid the question!”

Virgil rolled his eyes, closing the car door. He took out a flashlight and switched it on, casting their surroundings in high relief. “I wasn’t, calm down. I just want to see the look on the dude’s face when we show him actual video of a ghost.”

The pair’s boots crunched on gravel, twigs, and assorted debris as they began the trek up the long-disused road towards their destination. “So,” Roman asked as they clambered over a fallen tree, “what are you going to do if we can’t find one?”

“I have Photoshop.”

“Well—then why are we even out here? Just photoshop yourself up a ghost and be done with it, Wail-E!”

“That nickname was even worse. And besides—” Virgil hopped down, reaching up to help Roman, whose jacket had gotten caught on a snapped branch— “this is way more fun.”

“Speak for yourself,” Roman grumbled, inspecting his coat for damage.

“Come on, it’s not that far now.” Virgil started forward, flashlight held high. Roman scrambled after, not about to be left behind.

“I don’t like this.” Roman peered around at the surrounding trees, whose shapes and shadows seemed to warp as they passed, reaching towards the pair like spindly arms ready to drag them into the dark.

“I didn’t ask you to come. I’ve done plenty of these without you.”

“You’ve done plenty of these with Janus,” Roman corrected. “In our friends’ houses. Not in the middle of nowhere.”

“I wasn’t going to put this off just because he’s got a stomach bug. It’s supposed to rain all next week.”

Roman swallowed. “And I wasn’t about to let you come to some old abandoned house alone.”

Virgil turned, putting a hand on his chest and grinning. “My hero. Now turn on the camera, I see the house up there.”

Roman squinted, and saw that, in fact, he could make out the shape of some kind of structure ahead. It looked like it was practically part of the forest now, trees grown around it and nearly obscuring the shape in the darkness.

“Welcome to Virgil and Roman’s final moments,” Roman said, turning on the camera slung around his neck, “documented for all those who want to see us torn apart by crazy woods people, or bears, or wolves, or, possibly, ghosts.”

“Very funny,” Virgil said.

“Well, aren’t you going to say anything?” Roman said. “I don’t know, set the scene.”

“Kind of hard to do that when you keep talking, isn’t it?”

Roman stuck his tongue out.

Virgil turned to face the camera. “My name is Virgil, and the lug behind the camera is my friend Roman. Tonight, we’ve got a treat. We’re visiting an abandoned house, deep in the woods.”

Roman silently shook his head, amused at the exaggeration. The nearest major road was only a ten minute walk away.

“Legend says it’s been abandoned since the 50’s—”

“Is Wikipedia where you heard this “legend”?”

“Shut up, Princey. And no, it’s not, actually. Will you let me continue?”

Roman held up his free hand in surrender.

“Legend says it’s been abandoned since the 50’s, but no one had been able to stay in the house for more than a few months at a time even before that. Apparently, there was a murder here decades earlier, and the ghost of that person has haunted the place ever since.”

“Sounds like fun.”

“Roman and I are here to get the first solid proof of this ghost, and share its existence with all of you.”

“I’m sure YouTube will love it.”

“I am so glad I can edit out all your dumb comments.”

“You know you love them, Count Woe-laf.”

“You’re going to make me wish I’d waited to come with J, I just know it. Just make sure you’re holding the camera steady.”

Roman smiled innocently, then turned the camera up to focus on the house.

“We’ve just arrived,” Virgil said, “And are about to head inside. Wish us luck.”

“Virge, you know this isn’t live, right?”

“Yes, Roman, I know that,” Virgil said. “Let me put in a little flair, okay?”

“I must be rubbing off on you.”

Virgil ignored this comment and approached the house, peering around the crumbling façade of the dilapidated structure. “It looks like the front door is padlocked, but this window is broken. We can put one of our jackets on the sill and climb in.”

“Wait—whose jacket, Virge?” Roman stepped back, clutching his own protectively.

“Oh, relax,” he said, rolling his eyes as he shrugged off his own jacket.. “Some of us thought better than to bring our favorite jacket on a ghost hunt.”

“If that roof collapses on us, I don’t want cheap plastic all that’s protecting me.”

“I’m pretty sure a jacket won’t save you if the roof collapses; but go off, I guess.”

“Thank you; I will.”

Virgil laid his jacket over the window sill and hopped inside. Roman climbed in after him, turning on his own smaller flashlight and looking around warily.

Dust motes hung in the air, which smelled of mildew. A few pieces of furniture remained in the house, each covered in a sheet that might have once been white. The space had not been spared from the elements. Weeds even grew between some of the rotting floor boards.

“I know this is where I’d want to live, if I were a ghost,” Roman commented dryly, eyeing a grimy puddle that had collected in a fold of one of the sheets.

“Ghosts are tied to places where they died, or to objects that were important to them. Or their body. Odds are, this ghost has no choice but to live here.”

Roman sighed. “Okay, anyway. How are we proving there’s a ghost here?”

Virgil slung off his backpack and pulled out a wooden board. “We’ll start with this. It’s a Ouija board.”

“A Ouija board?”

“Yeah. It channels spiritual energy and lets them talk to us.”

“I know what a Ouija board is,” Roman sighed. “I was just… I guess I shouldn’t be surprised you brought one.”

Virgil sat down on the floor, beginning to set up the board. “Set up the tripod, so it can see both of us and the board. You sit across from me.”

Roman did as Virgil asked, then sat across from him. Each perched his fingertips atop the small, triangular piece of wood with a hole in it, which Virgil said was called a planchette. They slowly brought the planchette around in a circle, with Virgil narrating what they were doing and why, probably for the less supernatural-versed Youtube fans. Then Virgil said some mumbo-jumbo words about positive energy and communication, whatever; and then they finally they got to the questions.

“Is there a spirit with us in this house?”

There was a long pause, long enough that Roman started to think that maybe Logan had the right idea, before the planchette slid over to Yes.

That was you, wasn’t it, Virgil?

Virgil was trying to hide a grin. “How many spirits are here with us?”

1.

���What’s your name?”

The planchette slid over to B.

“Brandon? Bethany? Bella? Benjamin?”

U.

“…Buford? Bucky?”

T.

Virgil frowned. “Butler?”

T.

Roman bit his lip to keep from laughing.

S.

“Roman, stop messing with the planchette,” Virgil snapped.

Roman made an indignant noise. “I didn’t!”

“Spirit, I apologize for my friend. What is your name?”

B-U-T-T-H-O-L-E.

“Maybe it doesn’t want to tell us,” Roman said, shrugging and trying not to laugh.

Virgil was starting to look exasperated.

“Maybe it’s a kid. How old are you?” he asked.

6.

“You’re six years old?” Virgil’s mouth opened. “That’s so y…”

The planchette moved again, interrupting him.

9.

“69,” Virgil repeated. “Okay, maybe not a kid.” He glanced at Roman, looking suspicious, as if wondering whether he’d changed the results again. Roman pouted at him in response.

“How did you die?”

“Wow, that’s pretty personal, isn’t it?” Roman asked. “Ask it how it’s doing, at least.”

Virgil sighed. “They don’t usually stick around for long, Roman.” Then seemingly deciding to humor him, he asked, “Spirit, how are you?”

Yes.

“Well, that’s… an answer,” Roman said. Maybe the Ouija board was broken or something.

“How did you die?” Virgil asked, repeating his earlier question.

The planchette hovered for a few seconds.

K-N-I-V-E-S.

Roman swallowed.

“Oh.” Virgil shifted. “What year did that happen?”

4-2-0.

“Roman, seriously, stop.”

“I swear, it’s not me.”

“Fine, then let’s try again. What year did you die?”

D-E-A-D.

“Yes, you died,” Virgil said. “Do you remember what year that happened?”

Y-O-U A-R-E D-E-A-D.

Roman’s eyes widened. Virgil wouldn’t have done that, would he? “Um, Virge? I think maybe we should leave.”

“Are… are you a good spirit?” Virgil asked, his voice uncertain.

No.

The lights above flared into life, far, far too bright, like small suns. They shouldn’t have worked, even if they were still connected to power, or had the bulbs replaced in the past decade. Wind rushed through the room from an invisible source, the temperature dropping.

POP!

The light above them burst, sending sparks falling around them. The rest of the lights followed in rapid succession. The tripod fell over as if pushed, crashing to the ground between the pair and sending up a cloud of dust.

Roman and Virgil screamed, scrambling for the exit, pushing each other through the window, back into the woods. They raced back towards the car, both the camera and Virgil’s jacket forgotten.

Hysterical, cackling laughter followed them through the trees.

[words-writ-in-starlight]

okay, i'm taking that as an invitation: PLEASE post your annotations for the kencyrath playlist?

OKAY SURE TWIST MY ARM I GUESS

Actually this playlist is...long as hell, BUT there’s only like twelve people in this fandom and I’m in a group chat with half of them, so everything is here but it’s got a cut for length because my annotations are Specific.

THE BASICS (in no particular order)

Can’t Cheat Death by the Ballroom Thieves, for Jame, no further comment, I am Correct

I spilled blood in the water Then let the storm roll in I put my hands in the fire Watched my welcome wear thin Salt in my wounds and spit in my eye I burned the path you walk on And I let none survive

Thistles and Weeds by Mumford & Sons, for Torisen, who is a good leader and also falling apart

Spare me your judgements and spare me your dreams Cause recently mine have been tearing my seams I sit alone in this winter clarity which clouds my mind

Hey Brother by Avicii, for Jame and Tori, in all ways

Hey brother, do you still believe in one another? Hey sister, do you still believe in love, I wonder? Oh, if the sky comes falling down For you, there's nothing in this world I wouldn't do

Human by Rag’n’Bone Man, for Kindrie Soul-walker, out of his depth and doing his best

Maybe I'm foolish, maybe I'm blind Thinking I can see through this and see what's behind Got no way to prove it, so maybe I'm lying

Soldier, Poet, King by the Oh Hellos, for the Tyr-ridan (I have considered learning to draw SPECIFICALLY to do a comic of this song featuring Jame as the soldier, Kindrie as the poet, and Tori as the king, but I couldn’t pick a verse because it’s not a very long song)

Home to Me by Devil and the Deep Blue Sea, for Jame and Tori, which I would ALSO do a line-by-line breakdown of as a duet, because I love it for them

(Tori) How dare you love me like you've never known fear When you've got more troubles than minutes in the year (Jame) And a voice like your father's tells you nothing good's for free Well that may be, but you're walking home to me

Dear Wormwood by the Oh Hellos, the ORIGINAL Bane/Jame song, for which I could easily do a line-by-line breakdown cast as a duet between them, the song that I, personally, would set over their last conversation before Bane’s death and over Jame’s flight from the palace, if I was making a TV series, just, you know, if anyone wants to kick me a couple million bucks

I know who I am now And all that you've made of me I know who you are now And I name you my enemy

Glitter & Gold by Barns Courtney, for the Kendar, survivors to the last

Do you walk in the valley of kings? Do you walk in the shadow of men Who sold their lives to a dream? Do you ponder the manner of things In the dark?

Delilah by Florence + the Machine, for Jamethiel Dreamweaver, the first unfallen darkling, the finest weapon and cruelest victim of the Master’s schemes, and for her daughter, who saw more and ran faster

Too fast for freedom Sometimes it all falls down These chains never leave me I keep dragging them around

We Have It All by Pim Stones, for Tyrandis, just...listen to it, I’m right

There's glory ahead, but our love will be forgotten If my heart was still mine, I would go to the bottom And apologise to you until the day it went rotten

Mercy Down by Shayfer James, which is THE definitive song for the entire Kencyrath--half-desperate for their missing destiny, half-terrified of that destiny when it shows up at their door.

It’s getting mythical now You better pick your weapons up And throw your mercy, throw your mercy down

THE EXTENDED STUFF (loosely sorted by topic)

Control by Halsey, for Jame, heir to the Dreamweaver, Snare-of-Souls, and learning to dance and running away

They sent me away to find them a fortune A chest filled with diamonds and gold The house was awake, with shadows and monsters The hallways, they echoed and groaned

Little Boy by Barns Courtney, for Torisen holding the bones of a little girl who died at the same age as his long lost twin sister

Little boy inside my chest Breathe some life into my bones I've been lost and wandering Down and out and missing home

The Draw by Bastille, for Torisen and the shade of Ganth and the promise of madness on a sleepless night

Don't listen to your friends See the despair behind their eyes Don't listen to your friends They only care and want to know why

Carry Your Throne by Jon Bellion, for Jame and Tori at their best, kissing in the ashfall and dancing in Tentir

Two crowns and a gold cup And they're coming for the throne, love But if your heart is a dog fight Then I'm ready to go to war like

Coming Down by Halsey, for Jame and the twin she loves, who is always, always running away from her

Every single night pray the sun will rise Every single time make a compromise Every single night pray the sun will rise, but It's coming down, down, coming down

Graveyard by Halsey, for Jame and Tori and dreams and the soulscape and running and chasing and trying

I keep running when both my feet hurt I won't stop 'til I get where you are Oh, when you go down all your darkest roads I woulda followed all the way to the graveyard

Thick as Thieves by Shinedown, for Jame and Tori, who can barely have a civil conversation but still manage to be each other’s answer to the concept of ‘home’

Evidently, we can't work it out I guess that courage ain't allowed Evidently, you're not in the mood And everything I say just bothers you

The Horror of Our Love by Ludo, for Bane and Jame, and blood and binding, and shadows crossing continents

I'm a killer, cold and wrathful Silent sleeper, I've been inside your bedroom I've murdered half the town Left you love notes on their headstones I'll fill the graveyards until I have you

Irresistible by Fall Out Boy, for Bane in Tai-tastigon, a prince of the city and a monster in his beloved’s kitchen

Too many war wounds and not enough wars Too few rounds in the ring and not enough settled scores Too many sharks, not enough blood in the waves You know I give my love a four letter name

Hellfire by Barns Courtney, for Bane, giving your soul to the wrong person, and the Lower Town

Run in an alleyway Through a dead end street Murdering promises That I just can't keep

Punch Drunk Grinning Soul by Flogging Molly, for all the Kendar who keep surviving disasters while their people fall all around them, and especially for Marc and Brier

But these tired eyes are crashing down on me While the paint never dries on these four walls that now suffocate me But tonight, maybe tonight all will be free

Sleepsong by Bastille, for soulscapes and locked doors and armor and hidden gardens and a whole race with a collective unconscious who still manage to be awfully lonely

Oh, in the strangest dreams, walking by your side It is the hole you impose upon your life When you're out, loneliness, it crawls up in the ground It's what you feel, but can't articulate out loud

Bad Decisions by Bastille, for Tentir and all the children there who thought they were immortal

Do you remember what you said to me? 'Cause we lost track of time Yeah, we lost track of time You always let me down so tenderly So live fast and die young and stay forever numb 

For The Departed by Shayfer James, for every Kendar who’s ever sold a soul, broken under Honor’s Paradox, died in service, and gone unremembered

So dry your eyes and count to ten They'll have me on the pyre by then Forget the man I used to be You'll move along more easily

Bones by MS MR, for death banners, and for the dead of Kithorn, and for Dalis-sar, depending on my mood

Dig up her bones but leave the soul alone Let her find a way to a better place Broken dreams and silent screams Empty churches with soulless curses We found a way to escape the day

I Am Stretched On Your Grave by Dead Can Dance, for sisterkin, for the massacre of the Knorth women, but especially for Brenwyr and her ghost and her maledight madness

Calling out to the air With tears both hot and wild Oh I grieve for the girl That I loved as a child

NFWMB by Hozier, for Brenwyr and Aerulan (and could be for Jame and Tori but he’s, you know, an ostrich with his head buried in his own trauma)

Ain't it a gentle sound, the rolling in the graves? Ain't it like thunder under earth, the sound it makes? Ain't it exciting you, the rumble where you lay? Ain't you my baby, ain't you my baby?

Church by Fall Out Boy, for everyone who’s ever fallen in love with Jame, from Dally to Torisen

Oh, the things that you do in the Name of what you love You are doomed but just enough

Renegades by X Ambassadors, for the good times in Tai-tastigon with Dally and Canden

It's our time to make a move It's our time to make amends It's our time to break the rules Let's begin

Breath of Life by Florence + the Machine, for everyone who’s ever fallen to the Knorth glamour and paid dearly for it

But I needed one more touch Another taste of heavenly rush And I believe, I believe it's so

[shirasade]

Still not dead (a rambly life update, TLDR)

Actually, I’m doing better. Continuing to work only part-time, some adjustments in my meds, more therapy and a new job coach (courtesy of my employer’s insurance) and probably also the beginning of spring are all contributing. (Although the last part also means hayfever, which I noticed when I went for a run this morning and only did about half of what I’d hoped. But still, fresh air and exercise!)

I’ve also gone back to eating better, making more vegan/vegetarian choices (as a nice vegan Youtuber put it, going away from the overwhelming all-or-nothing approach) and am currently waiting for the results of some extensive lab tests after meeting with a doctor taking a holistic approach, especially in regards to the connection between your gut and health, both physical and mental. (Okay, cutting for length, feel free to skip unless you’re interested in my mental health or my writing.)

I’ve still got a long road ahead, but I’m beginning to feel slightly more optimistic. Still, it’s made me reevaluate things, especially where work is concerned, but before I tackle anything in that area (i.e. consider looking for a new job) I need to build myself up again. A definite sign of improvement is that I’ve been inhaling books last week as well as watching some movies and tv shows, after being unable to focus on anything more substantial than Youtube videos for months. It’s all comfort food like Tamora Pierce’s Circle ‘verse novels, historical docos and Death in Paradise, but it’s an improvement.

Also, following once more in the footsteps of the incomparable Bernadette Banner, I’ve started using Notion. Not as a calendar, but for all sorts of other things: random recipes from my computer, lists for my post-plague birthday bash this summer, a reading list for this year (after neglecting to do one last year), hopefully eventually an inventory of my book and dvd collections (which I’ve also shamefully neglected) - and my fanfic WIPs!

As you can see, they’re now ordered by priority, which will hopefully give me some incentive. The first column contains the ones I get the most requests for, the second column are also already on AO3 but don’t seem that urgent. The other two columns are unposted and therefore to be completed at my leisure (if at all) - the third column I’ve already written a chunk of, the last column are only a paragraph or two. That doesn’t mean I’ll be writing them in that order, mind you, it’s just to help me keep track of the state of things. :)

Below that table are subpages with older WIPs, which will likely never see the light of day, but you never know. (As you can see from the fact that there’s a “bandom” folder, I’ve been carrying some of these around with me from one writing set-up to the next for over a decade - if I remember correctly, they were originally saved on my laptop, uploaded to Gdrive, moved to Nextcloud, switched to Cryptpad and now Notion.)

Anyway, that interested maybe 2 people, but there you have it. Now I only need to start writing again! Oh, and I’d also love to be able to focus on stuff with subtitles again, at least A Tale of Thousand Stars, which seems completely adorable (and has Earth in it, which I can’t stress enough, because reasons *g*), the Hello Stranger movie and the Cherry Magic special. But yeah, taking it step by step - as my insurance case worker says, it’s a process that can’t (or at least shouldn’t) be rushed.

If you’ve read so far, thank you very much for caring! I hope you’re doing well. I miss having you in my life - something else I hope I’ll be able to return to soonish! <3

[dailyaudiobible]

03/09/2021 DAB Transcript

Numbers 11:24-13:33, Mark 14:22-52, Psalms 52:1-9, Proverbs 11:1-3

Today is the 9th day of March welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I'm Brian it's great to be here with you today…well…today and every day. It's great to be here with you as we move forward on our journey through the Scriptures this year. So, let's get into it. We’re reading from the New International Version this week and picking up where we left off yesterday in the book of Numbers. Today Numbers 11:24 through 13 verse 33.

Commentary:

Okay. So, in the book of numbers today we actually revisited a place that we have been to before. Might not have seemed like that but we have. It was several centuries ago in time, but we have been through this territory before. So, the children of Israel, obviously they were slaves in Egypt and we went through that whole story and we have seen God take them into the wilderness to reform them and reshape them. And, so, the law is given around Mount Sinai and then the children of Israel move away from Mount Sinai, like they…they get to leave in formation, as they've been instructed and go further into the wilderness. And we've seen them grumble and gripe and complain, but they're finally in a staging area where spies have been chosen. And these are not just like, you know, flip a coin to see who gets to go in. These are ancestral family leaders chosen from among the tribes of Israel, so that each tribe has a representative, a respected representative. Again, not like they flip a coin for it. Like somebody who is known as a leader among their people and their sent in to explore the land, the land God had promised them, the land that they’re supposed to go live in. Like that's what time it is. It's time. They are free from slavery. They have received the law. They know how their community is supposed to be formed and now it's time to go in. So, the spies are sent in so they can spy out land. Who’s there? What kind of food is there? What kind of soil is there? What kind of cities are there? And, so, the spies do go into the land and the spy it out and they end up at this place called the Valley of Eshkol. This is the place where they cut the grapes. Like this is the famous part where they carry on their shoulders the produce, the grapes back down and are able to demonstrate to the people, yes, this is indeed a land flowing with milk and honey. It's more than that though. It's not just the place where they cut down the grapes. Remember that guy Abraham? We met him. It seems like a long time ago, but it wasn't that long ago. But in time it's centuries ago from where we are now. Abraham's wanderings through the land that God had promised his offspring and his wife Sarah dies and he needs to buy some land from the Hittites. He…he…he needs a place to bury Sarah. And, so, he's able to buy this cave and this field. And this cave, this is the cave of Machpelah, it's called in the Bible. And this cave is in a valley, the valley of Eshkol. And Abraham subsequently is buried there in the valley of Eshkol in the cave at Machpelah as well as a number of his offspring. The spies end up there where they can remember their origin story with Abraham and Isaac and Jacob. And obviously none of them had been in the land before, they just knew of the promise, they just knew of their ancestors. And, so, they're able to go there. And this is near the city of Hebron, which is a very, very ancient city, even spoken of as an ancient city in the Bible. And it's obviously still a city until today. But this cave Machpelah, this burial site of Abraham, this is still in existence today. So, the spies leave their, make their way back to the tribes, make their way back to the community of Israel, and they have these grapes and their able to say, “certainly this is a great land, but we can't take it. There are giants there.” I don't move too far ahead in the story because we’ll continue the story tomorrow and there are consequences because of this. But this is a good place to stop and ponder. Like this is a good place to pull over to the side of the road and we’re just gonna stay here pondering until we pick up our reading tomorrow because how many times have we felt the prompting and the promise of God moving us in a direction and we have all kinds of things that affirm that we are being moved and led in this direction. And, so, even wisely we explore moving in this direction only to find out that there will be obstacles moving in that direction, that there will be endurance, that there will be a challenge, that there will be hardship even, that there might even be giants in the land. And then we talk ourselves out of it. We can't take this…it's beautiful, it’s perfect, it's the destiny, it's…it's indeed where I would love to go but it can be done. There's giants in the land and I look like a grasshopper. It's great, but the obstacles are greater. This will have consequence for the children of Israel out in the wilderness, but it has consequence in our life as well. And considering the points at which we simply throw our hands up and surrendered to the giants in the land as opposed to the promise of God, certainly we can think about these things and wallow in guilt or shame or whatever, but that's never the point. The point is, things could have been different and we can’t keep blaming God for things that we were to…that we were…we were too much of a coward to face down. Some things to think about today.

Prayer:

Holy Spirit come. Come into this. Begin as we continue this season where we’re moving towards Easter, but we’re really openhanded and openhearted even lamenting as we sit with…with the consequences of the choices that we have made. How often have we been a coward when we were to be courageous, strong and courageous? Help us to remember that You are the Sovereign one the Eternal one the Almighty one. And so often we’re afraid of things that aren’t You and have nothing to do with You other than that You are leading us. And we just look around and we determine that where You are leading us is not good and we are not capable when You’re simply revealing that we are because nothing is impossible with You. Come Holy Spirit we pray. In the name of Jesus, we ask. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is home base, it’s the website, it’s where you find what's going on around here as always. And of course if you’re using the Daily Audio Bible app you can find what's going on around here as well.

Check out the Community section. There are different links to the social media channels that we’re on. And that's of course where the Prayer Wall lives. So, stay connected in any way that you can, in any way that you feel. you don’t have to carry everything alone. We shoulder each other's burdens through prayer here very well. And, so, be aware of the Prayer Wall.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, if the mission that we share to keep doing what we’re doing bringing God's word read fresh every day and offered freely to anyone who will listen to it in the world. If that brings life and light and good news and hope into your world than thank you for your partnership. We wouldn't be here if we weren't in this together. That's kind of the nature of community. And, so, utter gratitude for every day that we have ever been here and every day that we will ever be here because we’re in this together. And, so, thank you for your partnership. There is a link on the homepage. If you’re using the Daily Audio Bible app you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner, or the mailing address is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, as always, if you've a prayer request or encouragement, you can hit the Hotline button in the app, which is the little red button up at the top or there are a number of numbers that you can use. In the Americas 877-942-4253 is the number to call. If you are in the UK or Europe for 4-20-3608-8078 is the number to dial. And if you are in Australia or that part of the world 61-3-8820-5459 is the number to dial.

And that's it for today. I’m Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Morning this is March 5th Longing to be God's Delight in Pennsylvania. I wanted to thank the brother who called in I heard this morning to distinguish conviction and condemnation. Thank you that was wonderful. We so forget that conviction is the power of the Holy Spirit to move us forward towards hope and towards God and condemnation is Satan’s way of trying to drive us away from God and into stagnation and stuckness and darkness. But when our hearts condemn us God is greater than our hearts and He knows all things and will lift us up into His light. It is His kindness that leads us to repentance. So, thank you brother. I just wanted to say I'm praying for parents this morning. We've heard so many of the woman who called in with postpartum depression, the mother who’s happy that her son is in a state mental institution so he can get help for his addictions and mental issues, but for the mother whose daughter who has been seduced into drugs and prostitution essentially by a so-called boyfriend. Oh, how heartbreaking. Lord I pray for these parents. I pray for your light and for your hope and for the children to be convicted and saved, rescued from themselves, drawn back to you. And let the thunder clouds of deep dark dread that loom up overhead in our troubles would be broken by the power and glory of God and instead pour down blessings of His mercy on our heads. In Jesus’ name I pray these things. Donna in Pennsylvania.

Hi DAB family this is Tammy from the Adirondacks. I had called in last October I think it was. I had been diagnosed with ovarian cancer and my kids had been here helping. And praise God, praise report. I am in remission. But I'm still finding the emotions just so heavy. I don't know if it's the lack of hormones because I did a complete hysterectomy. I don't know if it…I just don't know what it is. There's just been so much change and the kids aren't coming to the house as much anymore now that back on my feet and taking care of my husband. And I'm looking for my joy. It is cold and it is just so hard. So, I'm just asking for prayers. I am so grateful and to be blessed and to serve such a wonderful God. He saved me. All the glory and honor as his. I didn't even get sick with the chemo. I'm just…He's a wonderful God, And I just type coming, these tears keep coming and I just need them to stop and I just…don't know why. So, if you could just keep me in your prayers. I can't remember all of your names, but I pray for you all. I was so happy to hear God’s Smile. You make me smile when I hear you and your kisses. So, please just keep me in your prayers DAB family. Thank you, Brian and Jill for what you're doing because you are helping a lot of people. In God's name. Thank you. God bless you all. Bye.

Hello DAB family this is God's Grace for Japan. I come with what in my heart feels like a very urgent prayer request although I hesitate to say that knowing what some people are dealing with. This is actually though my…a dear friend of mine Kristen and her soul and she’s so close everyone. I've had the opportunity to really share my…my relationship with my savior with her with our Prince of the Kingdom and she's…I can…I’ve seen with her own face the…the falling in love and she feels it. And I know she's closed but she has a lot of spiritual wounds and I know she's reaching for him when I…she spoke to me one night out of the blue when I was spending the night with her expressing everything that she couldn't believe about this Christian God and…and then I expressed to her who it was that I was with and she said to me with tears in her eyes, “I was afraid that you would say that”, meaning that I said to her the God that you desire is the one that I'm in love with. And she said, “I was afraid you would say that.” We spent the next three hours talking about Him, me telling her stories, and me…and you should have seen her eyes shining. And she’s so close but there’s still blocks there. There's a desire there but there's a lot of fear. I will be sending three days with her this coming week from Monday to early Wednesday. Please pray for sweet Kristin. Oh, my goodness I feel Him pulling her to Him and I know that her heart's longing for Him but there's a…there's still blocks and there’s still fear and I just I don't…I'm not making a plan, I'm just trying to go in the Spirit. So, please I ask for everyone over…all over the world to pray…pray for sweet Kristen, that she will come to her Messiah her Prince. Thank you everybody. Love you. Bye.

Hi DAB family it's James here from the UK calling in tonight for Marie and oh my goodness your story just it really broke my heart. You talked of your daughter and the fact that she has fallen into a group by…by virtue of a pimp who is…is using her and abusing her. And I don't know why but tonight I‘m standing here under an incredible starlit sky and when I heard your call I just…I just stopped and I'm just looking up and I'm just asking God, please, I want so much for there to be a release of that Young lady, that precious daughter, Your daughter Jesus. I want justice to be done in this situation. I want truth to reign in her life. I want her to be able to see what is going on. And I pray for this man Andrew and for the team he's putting together to try and break in. Lord in Your name Holy Spirit, in Your power You will have the victory, by one way or another You will have a victory. I pray a blessing on Marie I pray a strength, I pray a strengthening in her life that she would be able to stand firm at this time and have courage. I thank You for her, I thank You for her faith, I thank You for her daughter. Will You bring her home Jesus? Amen.

Happy birthday Brian, Jill, and China. My name is Sandy from Naples FL. I have been a member for three years now. Last December I sent an email for prayer for the first time because I was not committed, and I just want to say that all your prayers have just blessed me so much. I've been committed since I sent that prayer and God has blessed me and showed me many reasons why I have been trying to control things and what's going on with my life and I can't sure it's too long, but I just wanted to say thank you. And those who hesitate to call in please call because people pray for you. They want to hear your prayers they want to help you and bless you. And we need each other. That's what we're here for. So, God bless you and thank you and happy birthday.

Hello Daily Audio Bible since God is the Great, I Am I want to be a reflection of that truth and say yes He is. So, this is Yes, He Is calling from the Cumberland plateau Tennessee. I've been following along about a year and been really consistent since January with listening and reading along and so thankful for this community, but I want to call in today and pray for Maria my sister in Christ who called in today with a very heavy burden for her daughter Taylor. Lord Jesus we lift Taylor up to You and we pray for her deliverance from captivity to drug addiction, prostitution Lord and this pimp who has captured her and we pray Father that You would bring to her mind remembrance of who she is in Jesus Christ. She is Your beloved child. And I pray for all deceiving lies, deceiving mouths to be stopped, to be shut, that her eyes and her ears and heart would be open to hear the truth of the Holy Spirit speaking to her about Your purpose for her life, Your great awesome love for her. I pray for the missionary team that's going in to get her. I pray that You would make straight their path and give them a straight way to go in and I pray that You would prepare Taylors’s heart to be receptive, that she would understand that this is You reaching out to her and she would go. I pray You'd open the way of escape for her, and she would go. In the name of Jesus, I…I pray for this one. Thank you.

[sanders-specs]

Patton’s Playlist Analysis

A/N: I’m back again with Patton’s playlist analysis!

So this is definitely my favorite playlist. I know at this point both Logan’s and Virgil’s have come out, and i still just like Patton's the best, and honestly i think this analysis reflects that. It’s also very long, so I apologize for that. And again, disclaimer: This is entirely my own opinions. I’m not trying to speak for Thomas or Joan or anyone else who helped put together the playlist. it’s okay if you don’t agree with me! In fact, I’d like to hear your thoughts if you don’t!! 

It does go song by song, like with Roman’s, so you can divide it up if you want. but for those who don’t want to/can’t read an analysis of 20 songs, I’ll put the summary above the cut and those who want to dive deeper can enjoy. 

Let me know if you want to see Logan’s! 

Roman’s Analysis 

Analysis summary/conclusion(?): 

Patton is a bright, bubbly optimist. he sees the best in everyone and in the entire world. He believes in kindness and love and wants to make the world a better place with it. 

But he also wants to be loved and feel loved. By the other sides, by Thomas’s friends and family, romantically. He craves that affection and attention almost as much as Roman does. He wants so badly to help (like with Virgil), but he feels like he doesn’t quite do enough. 

Still, though, he’s determined to spread that love and kindness, even if he doesn’t get much in return for it. 

Like with Roman’s we’re going to start with the first song sooo here we go!

Camp Fire Song Song.

None of us should be surprised and honestly, I had forgotten Patton’s answer to the favorite song question in the Q&A video until I hit play on the playlist.

There’s not too much to analyze here. It’s a really short song with only a few lyrics (if also iconic).

Honestly, though, listening to it for analyzing purposes, it reminded me of Learning New Things, when Patton and the others were trying to get Logan to sing along with them and join in on the bit. Also, in the Christmas episode when Patton and Roman are trying to get Virgil to sing his line with them. Squidward being a good representation of both of them in the moment in their respective videos.

After all, Spongebob and Patrick were just trying to have a little fun, and they wanted Squidward to join in, even if it was obvious that he didn’t want to. Still, though, Spongebob wasn’t deterred by his silence. He just kept going and having fun.

Patton’s a bit of the same way. Even though he wants the others to join him in his ideas of fun, they don’t always do. Still, though, Patton keeps trying and smiling through it all and having his own fun. Making puppet puns, doing impressions, mixing up the way he was singing his part in the twelve days of Christmas. he has his own fun, even when the others don’t really participate but you know…

It’ll help if you just sing along

Turnaround is so cute. I haven’t watched The Little Prince, but if the whole soundtrack is as good as this song then I just might.

This song, like many on Patton’s playlist, is about living life and enjoying the good things. Everything from the lyrics to the happy-go-lucky music to the scat singing just has a tone of optimism and happiness.

Straight (Straight), how can you be so straight? (Straight) Life is everything but straight (Straight) It's going up and down

Life has its ups and downs, so you shouldn’t be so focused on one path or one plan. Not everything is going to go right, sure, but there are so many things that will. Focusing too much on making things go the way you want them to will prevent you from learning and living life how it’s supposed to be lived.

Far (Far) Happiness isn't far (Far) Not far from where you are (Are)

A lot of people live like their looking for happiness, when in reality if they stopped looking, they’d find they would be much happier.

Now, of course I can’t speak for everyone or their situations. In this particular instance, I’m talking about the people who go through life thinking “as long as I do/have/accomplish this then I’ll be happy” when they already have so much or have people around them that could give them the happiness that they want so badly.  

It goes well with the Growing Up video. What Patton was trying to tell the others all along, and what the ultimate conclusion of the video was. Happiness isn’t far.

Watching your life go by (By, by by) Now, why don't you sing out loud? The tune you keep inside?

Really most of this song is saying to enjoy the now. Who you are, what you like, the person that you are. Not to hide yourself.

Shy (Shy) How can you be so shy? (Shy) Hiding below the stars (Stars) Under your neon light (Light) Hi (Hi) Don't say hello, say hi (Hi) Hi to a higher sky (Sky) Hi to a higher ground Loud, why don't you sing out loud? The words you keep inside?

Listening to this verse in the context of Patton is super interesting to me. We all know those people who are all “Just be happy! You’re alive, the sun is out, what else could you need?” While I don’t really think Patton is too in that category, he’s up there. He loves rainbows and sunshine and everything about life (see: his verse in Recipe for Me). He’s excited-able and very Maira-running-through-the-hills-singing-about-how-the-hills-are-alive-with-the-sound-of-music.

All that being said, comparing this to, say Virgil, who is arguably the polar opposite is interesting. Patton being the way he is, really doesn’t understand being shy or social anxious. Of course he would want you to sing out loud! Why would you want to hold that in when you can just let it all out and have fun with it? He’s much more likely to give a stranger a hug than he is to duck his head and look the other way.

But he doesn’t want you to just suddenly change. He wants to help! The very first lyric of the song says just that.

Turn around, I’m right behind you

He’s there, he’s with you, he’s going to help you break out of your shell and be free. He wants you to turn your views of life around to be as happy as you can be.

 All of the songs on this playlist are super chill and it’s really nice. Jim Croce has such a nice voice which makes I Got a Name just really nice to listen to. Also, the music itself is amazing (I’m huge on aesthetically pleasing things, especially in songs so I have to gush. There will be a lot of that in this one).

This one goes along with Turnaround a bit in the sense that it’s about living. Moving through life like you move easily (in…some places) down a highway.

Like the pine trees lining the winding road I got a name, I got a name Like the singing bird and the croaking toad I got a name, I got a name

Everything in the world has a name, a title, something that we call it by. If it doesn’t, we give them one. It’s part of just being alive on this earth, having a name. In so many cultures, names are some of the most important things. They mean things, for some, they define who they are. Honestly, look into why we have middle names, or all the different titles the Greeks have for love, or why Queen Elizabeth had to full on change her name when she became queen.

Maybe I’m just song analyzing at this point instead of putting it to Patton Context or heck, maybe I’m just taking the lyrics too literally. But, I mean, he is the side who cares the most about….everything. Thomas is an incredibly caring person and all of that is Patton. He’s the one who would have names for every single toy he has, because names are important, everyone has to have a name! it’s something he would care about.

Movin' me down the highway, rollin' me down the highway Movin' ahead so life won't pass me by

I find this…ironic. I don’t know if it’s meant to be, honestly. But when you’re on the highway you are…literally rolling past life. The trees, the birds, other people. You are literally passing by entire towns and neighborhoods.

I dunno, I just find irony in this, intentionally or not. I know it means trying to get ahead of life so you can properly live it or something, but…you’re still missing it.

Huh. Maybe that is what it means.

Like the north wind whistlin' down the sky I got a song, I got a song Like the whippoorwill and the baby's cry I got a song, I got a song And I carry it with me and I sing it loud If it gets me nowhere, I'll go there proud

I love the comparisons here, because it’s not talking about an actual song, but the sounds of life. The wind, a baby’s cry, a whirlpool. There’s quote that I love be Cecily Morgan (at least according to Google), “Music is life and that’s why our hearts have beats.” We all have a song inside of us, the way our hearts beats (don’t science me, that’s for Logan’s Playlist). The phrase “follow your heart” is what I’m pretty sure this verse is referencing. Even if you follow your heart and it leads you nowhere, at least you can be proud that you got there, which not many people can say.

Patton is a huge part of Thomas. I’m not saying the others aren’t, because they are, but he holds his morals very highly. Patton’s input in anything, especially the big life decisions, is one of the most important next to maybe Logan. He knows what Thomas wants maybe even more than Roman. Sure, Roman holds Thomas’s hopes and dreams, but Patton gives him the motivation to go after them, to act on them.

Thomas’s choice to pursue Vine and then YouTube could have lead him nowhere. It really could’ve. But he followed the song of his heart and got there.

That’s allllll Patton.

Like the fool I am and I'll always be I got a dream, I got a dream

There’s some self-awareness here with the fool line. Patton’s not an idiot. He knows the others don’t think much of him. He’s the perfect definition of someone who may not be book smart, and therefore everyone else thinks he’s stupid. When in reality, he’s just not very good with words, so he expresses things the best way he knows how. This song is a really good example, because of all the nature comparisons in it. It doesn’t get too literal until this verse

They can change their minds but they can't change me I got a dream, I got a dream Oh, I know I could share it if you'd want me to If you're goin' my way, I'll go with you

Thomas has big dreams. We’ve all seen Roman, we know that. But like I said before, Patton is the one who can really get Thomas to go for those dreams. Like in Learning New Things, when Thomas was feeling self conscious because of one comment an old friend made, and Patton led the conversation that helped him to understand that there was nothing wrong with Thomas or his dreams, there was nothing wrong with feeling sad about the comment. How, in the end, it takes a lot to figure ourselves out and that without his YouTube career, he wouldn’t be where he is now.

So, yeah, others can change what they think about him, his career, and his dreams, but that’s not going to change what he does or the fact that he loves it. In fact, he’s willing to share that dream with others, and to help them on theirs, as he has done. Look at his team (or, I suppose, what we know of of Character Thomas’s team). It’s full of his friends and it seems like whenever they bring someone on, they’re welcomed with open arms. Now, I’m only talking from a fan’s perspective here. That’s just how it looks to me. He’ll help others achieve their dreams as much as they’ll help him achieve his.

 So from what I’ve seen around, people really like Oranges. Or, well, me. I really love Oranges. The song, not the fruit. Not a big fan of the fruit (the texture is eugh).

And it’s such a Patton song!

That thing about him not being book smart? It applies here too. It’s a bit of a nonsense song at first listen, I’m not going to lie. A really fun nonsense song.

But then, I have to read the lyrics along with listening to the song when I do these because otherwise I just can’t pick up on every word. My attention span and memory is not that good, and I tend to focus a lot more on the music part than the singing part the first few times around. So maybe this is just my experience.

It's funny how nobody sings about oranges The reason's no rhyme, I'm starting to mind How we take our ideas and put them in storage But peel back the rind, who knows what you'll find

Take the same risks as if you're afraid If life gave you an orange, would you make lemonade And it's funny how nobody sings about oranges When you've got one in the palm of your hand

Lots of metaphors here. I think Patton just lives in a state of metaphors.

I’m pretty sure we’re talking about suppression here. Suppressing ideas, feelings, whatever, because of pretty superficial reasons. Once you strip those reason away, you can be unstoppable. We’re back to that idea of living the life you want, going where your heart takes you. Using what life gives you and running with it. Take some risks with it, if you must. But you have it. Use it! I mean if you’re given an orange, would you make lemonade?

No.

No.

You’d make orange juice.

Crazy how nobody sings about chocolate Seems there would be nothing so sweet Like we're living in the boxes of someone who's locked it How can that be, it just ain't for me

Is…is the chocolate metaphor referencing Forest Gump?

Anyway, people like pushing others into “boxes.” Titles, positions, identities, whatever. They don’t like it when you step out of that box.

Which this is interesting to me, because as we’ve seen in the videos, Patton doesn’t like change too much. Stepping out of that box would involve change. He has gotten better at it since the changes video, but that’s not really something that goes away.

But on the other hand, the heart changes it’s mind all the time. It can be fleeting as much as it can be stubborn. When it comes to your wants and needs and dreams, that can change all the time. That’s why Thomas is a creator. Not just a YouTuber or a singer or an actor. He’s all of those things, all of which would have involved individual decisions on what to pursue and focus on. Which motivation would be the focus of the day or hour or minuet.

We're curving our motions and faking our bets If you don't open a chocolate, who knows what you get And it's crazy how nobody sings about chocolate When you've got it in the palm of your hand

Yeah, I’m pretty sure it’s a Forest Gump reference.

Which is a reference to life. How you’re never going to know what you’re going to get, what life is going to throw at you. But until you take it and uncover it, you really won’t know what it is.

I think this is a bit of Patton accepting that life is unpredictable and throws curveballs. Accepting that he needs to take whatever flavor of chocolate he’s going to get, whatever filling, no matter if it’s one he’s going to like or not.

We run in circles and just like this stay Now purple's got us blue and silver's going grey, hey hey Is there nothing else to say

Staying in the same place, always doing the same things, gets old. Without taking those risks or making what you can out of what you have, even if it’s not something that fits exactly what you think you need, just makes life fade away.

When you follow your heart through life, that doesn’t mean that you won’t be thrown some curveballs. Actually, it almost guaranteed that you’re thrown curveballs. That’s something that Patton has to be ready for, and ready to deal with, and not just making Thomas stay in the same state of mind.

It's funny how nobody sings about oranges Yeah it's funny how nobody sings about oranges Oh, imagine a world where we don't play this game With apples and oranges, nothing's the same

This game of staying still, comparing apples to oranges when they’re inherently the same (or at the very least have a lot in common). Where people follow their hearts and don’t duck away when things start to get a little tough.

While we know that Patton doesn’t like change, he is also the heart and he has to help Thomas deal with those changes as they come. It’s not easy or fun, but it’s something that he has to do.

 I Don’t Wanna Pray is a song that grew on me the more I listened to it. It’s definitely got a fun tempo to it.

Also I want to go ahead and say that I have a kinda complicated relationship with religion. I have grown up with a religious family and have been to church a fair few times (we weren’t the kind of family that went every week, it was really only when I spent the night with my grandmother that I went). So I have some familiarity with the teachings of Christianity. If I don’t hit every beat on this, then I’m sorry. I did my best.

It’s not too surprising that a religious song like this made it onto Patton’s playlist. After all, we’ve seen how Thomas’s religion means a lot to him and how he lives his life by his morals. It wouldn’t make much sense if this type of song wasn’t on the playlist.

I love my God, God made love I love my God, God made love I love my God, God made hate I love my God, God made hate I love my God, God made good I love my God, God made good I love my God, God made bad I love my God, God made me (Yeah)

Normally I wouldn’t include so many repeats for the sake of length, but the one word changes here is worth looking at. It goes from love to hate to good to bad and then instead of repeating bad, it says “me.”

Could it be that the singer thinks they’re bad? Maybe, but I think the point of all these repeats is to say that “me” (humans) are composed of love, hate, good, and bad. That God made all of those things and then made man with them. And despite that, the singer still loves God, because He made all those things, even if it’s something we consider to be bad.

And everything listed goes under morals and feelings. Love, hate, good, bad. Everything that Patton is (“I’m the core of a lot of your feelings”) is those things, and then some.

But I don't wanna pray to my maker I just wanna be what I see Not just who I am but the pink and darling land And that fiery wild sky over me Help me through the sun Hey I'm lookin' everywhere See I'm looking to become not the pray-er but the prayer

---

I don't wanna pray to my maker I just wanna be feelin' free Not like in a book, or the leaves of trees that shook From a word that means only not a thing Pardon god and mom, what I'm sayin' isn't fair See I'm looking to become, not the prayer but the prayer

I pretty much translate this to “I want to be the good I see in the world.” That instead of praying and hope that God will fix something or make something better, that they want to go and do what they would pray for. To take all the good and love and bad and hate that God made them out of and do something worthwhile with it.

Not much good to talk, better to walk it Not much good to take, better to give We are gone forgiven and forgotten of our sins I promise you my friend all that dies will live again Pardon god and mom, what I'm sayin' isn't fair See I'm looking to become, not the prayer but the prayer

This verse really drives home that idea. Better to give the good than to take it from others. That, yeah, you’ll sin (bad and hate are included in that beginning verse, remember), but God will forgive them.

Honestly this whole song just reinforces a lot of what we already know. Patton, out of all the other sides, holds the religious teachings Thomas had closely. It’s how he has determined to live his life. And Thomas is a good person. He wants to do what is right and do exactly what the song says: give good and love, practice what he preaches. Maybe it’s not always fair, but he firmly believes in how he lives, maybe even to a fault.

  I personally relate to New Soul and honestly this is another song that’s a very obvious Patton song and why it would be on this playlist. I know that’s the point, but still. It’s good.

I'm a new soul I came to this strange world Hoping I could learn a bit about how to give and take But since I came here Felt the joy and the fear Finding myself making every possible mistake

Gosh, we’ve all been here right? Going into a new situation or stepping into a new part of our lives and just messing it all up and tripping over ourselves as we go along.

Yeah, I know that’s how life works, but I’m still going to complain about it.

I don’t know if it’s the voice or the way it’s sung or the music but this song just reminds me of those scenes in movies where the MC or someone makes this new creature and the creature comes out and we have to watch them stumble through the world and learn about all the good and bad things about life.

But, like I said, we’ve all been there. Where we’re just feel like we’re thrown into this unknown world and have to stumble through it blindly.

I'm a young soul in this very strange world Hoping I could learn a bit bout what is true and fake But why all this hate? Try to communicate Finding trust and love is not always easy to make

This is a super hard lesson. There are people out there (myself included) who are just very trusting. We want to see the best in people and give them the benefit of the doubt. But it’s so hard, because other people see that and take advantage of that. It’s a hard lesson to learn and it sucks.

We’ve seen that Patton is like this. In Accepting Anxiety, he didn’t think anyone would break into Thomas’s car, even though it’s a very real possibility. He’s a bit like a little kid who doesn’t understand the “don’t talk to strangers” rule in that regard.

And as Logan said in that episode, it’s good for him to trust people, but he’ can’t always afford to. And man, sometimes you have to learn that the hard way.

This is a happy end Cause' you don't understand Everything you have done Why's everything so wrong This is a happy end Come and give me your hand I'll take you far away

There’s a bit of naivety here. Of being oblivious to the bad stuff and thinking that everything is still good and happy, but things are still wrong. The last part of it makes me think that it’s the singer telling another new soul to come with them, that they’ll protect the other new soul.

Another thing that just so Patton. He can be naïve, but he also wants to protect those around him from the horrors he’s endured (however sever those horrors may be).

And he makes mistakes. Sometimes irreversible mistakes. Remember, sometimes the heart leads us nowhere.

 I can’t decide if Better Together is on there as a song to all the sides and Thomas or if it’s just to Roman or just to Thomas.

Now, yes, it’s a love song. No, we’re not going to talk about shipping in these, since I highly doubt that’s what Thomas and Joan were thinking when they put these together.

There is no combination of words I could put on the back of a postcard No song that I could sing but I can try for your heart Our dreams and they are made out of real things Like a shoebox of photographs With sepia-toned loving

Love is the answer At least for most of the questions in my heart Like why are we here? And where do we go? And how come it's so hard? It's not always easy and Sometimes life can be deceiving I'll tell you one thing It's always better when we're together

See, my first thought is Roman.

Patton and Roman have to work together in order for Thomas to be happy. Without Roman’s ideas and his hopes and dreams, there’s not much Patton can do to make Thomas happy. And without Patton giving Thomas motivation and having that love, Roman can give idea after idea, but Thomas can’t act on them.

They’re an important pair.

And in that second verse? It makes me think of Why Do We get Out of Bed in the Morning. All those questions? Why are we here, where do we go, why is it so hard? Of course Patton’s answer to that would be love. Thomas’s love for his job, his friends, his family, his fans. But Roman couldn’t really see that because he and Logan negated Patton’s input. I bet you that conversation would have gone differently if Patton had been there.

You can’t really have dreams and aspirations without having heart behind them, right?

And all of these moments Just might find their way into my dreams tonight But I know that they'll be gone When the morning light sings Or brings new things For tomorrow night you see That they'll be gone too Too many things I have to do But if all of these dreams might find their way Into my day to day scene I'd be under the impression I was somewhere in between With only two Just me and you Not so many things we got to do Or places we got to be We'll sit beneath the mango tree now

Okay so I’ve sat here listening to this part over and over again trying to get a read on it. Here’s what I think, and you know, I could be totally wrong.

There’s a balance between dreams being realistic and then them just being fantasies. We know that Roman doesn’t really know where that line is. Patton does. He helps to keep Roman in check and brings him back down to Earth when he needs to. But’s it’s good for them to be somewhere in between. Sometimes having crazy dreams and aspirations is good, just as long as you don’t get too lost in them.

I believe in memories They look so... So pretty when I sleep --- But there is Not enough time And there is no... No song I could sing And there is no Combination of words I could say But I will still Tell you one thing We're better together

Patton is big on memories. This has been made very clear in his room. Thomas can use those memories in order to want to continue to follow his dreams. Like the first time he saw a Broadway show, or the first time he stared in a production, and using that nostalgia and fondness to pursue his acting career. Roman goes crazy over those memories in Patton’s room, and we saw that at the end of it, he was psyched up to get back to the theater. Patton holding onto those memories did that. They can act as inspiration and motivation.

Patton and Roman can work so well together. They’re a creative team, they need each other in order for the other to strive. They help to balance each other out and keep Thomas creating and passionate.

 And now, Vienna.

I almost feel like I don’t need to analyze this one. Everyone seems to have already done it.

But you know what, I love it so I’m going to dive into it.

After I gush about it.

The piano, the tempo, the softness of it. It’s an amazing song.

Okay okay I’m good.

So.

This song isn’t even about Patton. It’s about the others. It’s him talking to each of the other three sides. It’s him trying to tell them what he sees in them. Does it make me emotional? Yes.

So as always, let’s start at the beginning

Slow down, you crazy child You're so ambitious for a juvenile But then if you're so smart, tell me Why are you still so afraid, hmm? Where's the fire, what's the hurry about? You'd better cool it off before you burn it out You've got so much to do and only so many hours in a day-ay But you know that when the truth is told That you can get what you want or you could just get old You're gonna kick off before you even get halfway through, ooh When will you realize, Vienna waits for you?

Logan. He is ambitious. He wants order and structure in Thomas’s life, and he works so hard to get there. But he’s afraid of failing. So he works harder. Patton’s trying to tell him to slow down. Don’t try to get everything done at once and to take his time. That it’s not the end of the world if Thomas doesn’t accomplish everything on his To-Do list. And if he keeps pushing, Thomas isn’t going to have any energy left for anything at the end of the day.

Slow down, you're doing fine You can't be everything you want to be before your time Although it's so romantic on the borderline tonight Tonight Too bad but it's the life you lead You're so ahead of yourself that you forgot what you need Though you can see when you're wrong You know you can't always see when you're right You're right

You've got your passion, you've got your pride But don't you know that only fools are satisfied? Dream on, but don't imagine they'll all come true, ooh When will you realize, Vienna waits for you?

Roman. Oh Roman, Roman, Roman. This one is my favorite.

He’s so ready to get to where he wants to be. He just wants to go go go, do everything so he can finally achieve what he’s been working on for so long.

But he’s ambitious. He needs to stop, take a step back, and breathe.

And Patton sees his self-confidence issues. He sees that Roman acts like a big brave prince but underneath it all he’s scared. He’s so hard on himself when he’s wrong, but he doesn’t celebrate when he’s right, when he’s on a roll.

Like I said before, Patton keeps Roman grounded. The passion, the pride, he helps to keep that in check. And as much as Roman may hate it, he has to be realistic about Thomas’s dreams.

Slow down, you crazy child And take the phone off the hook and disappear for awhile It's all right, you can afford to lose a day or two, ooh When will you realize, Vienna waits for you?

This one is short, but I think it speaks a lot for Virgil. He has kind of been the side that determines he’s on his phone a lot, maybe checking Tumblr and twitter to see what people are saying about Thomas, who stays by his phone to make sure that Thomas doesn’t miss anything, that he responds to emails and texts and phone calls right away so no one will be upset. So they don’t think any less of him.

But Patton wants him to realize that he can take a break. It’s not the end of the world. Like Logan, Virgil stresses about Thomas being on time and keeping to his schedule. Not because of order or structure, but because he doesn’t want Thomas to be a failure or to lose what he’s worked so hard for.

In a way this one goes with Logan’s. taking a break isn’t the end of the world. His friends and family will be okay if he doesn’t respond right away. It’s okay.

 It’s You I Like is another song that I feel like it just Patton talk to the other sides. I don’t really know if Thomas and Joan had an idea of who. My first impression was Roman (what with his confidence issues) but looking at the lyrics I can really see it being to anyone.

It's you I like Not the things you wear Not the way you do your hair But it's you I like

The way you are right now Way down deep inside you Not the things that hurt you Not your toys; they're just beside

You

'Cause it's you I like Every part of you Your skin, your eyes, your feelings Whether old or new

Hope you will remember Even when you're feelin' blue It's you I like It's you yourself It's you It's you I like

It’s supper short song, so there’s not too much to break down. Honestly I think this is just Patton saying…yeah, he loves the other sides. He loves Thomas. No matter what any of them decide to wear, he’ll be supportive. No matter how they choose to present themselves, he’ll be there. No matter how they feel or think, he’s not going to go anywhere or turn against them. He likes them for them, no matter what.

 Thomas and Joan have already said that Little Shadow is about Virgil. But they didn’t say why so that’s what I’m going to try to do.

Have you ever had a younger friend, maybe at school or as a neighbor, who kinda follows you around because they don’t know what else to do? Heck, have you ever been that friend? Or maybe you have a little cousin or sibling who watches your every move to learn how to be.

That’s kinda how I see the start of Patton’s and Virgil’s relationship. Virgil is new to the “Light” sides and he just got Thomas to start really listening to him and taking him seriously, but he’s still unsure of his place. So Patton guides him a little by being completely and undoubtedly supportive of him. To a fault, as we’ve seen.

But this song reminds me of that beginning, of Patton reaching out hand to Virgil and helping to lead him.

Patience, shadow For all your sight, there's no sight to see Little shadow, little shadow To the night, will you follow me? Pardon, shadow Hold on tight to your darkened key Little shadow, little shadow To the night, will you follow me? Closer, shadow For all your strikes, still, we're caught between All this sorrow, little shadow To the night, will you follow me? Every shape and size Deep and deep, we dive Turn and turn aside To a fantasy Little shadow Into the night, will you follow me? Little shadow To the night, will you follow me?

This whole song just makes me reinforces the “Patton wants to protect Virgil” thing. For a while there, yeah, Virgil needed Patton’s support and probably even relied on it. If this song is Patton’s point of view of Virgil (Thomas’s words) then we can really see why Patton treats Virgil the way he does. The song has this little shadow who needs a guide into the scary unknown. Maybe Virgil was like that at one point, but he’s not anymore. Patton still sees him like that, though, which is why he was still treating Virgil the way he was in the Phases video.

 That brings us to Sad.

Thomas has said that this is the song that inspired him to make the playlist. That he imagined Patton singing it about Virgil. So to go along with the last one then…well.

You're just too good at being sad I'm just a Band-Aid on a broken heart Yeah, I'm the best at making you laugh For a breath, and you're back in your head, you're so sad You're so sad

Don't know if I'm hurting or helping It's just so damn hard to tell when You're just too good at being sad

Virgil is anxiety. He’s a huge part of Thomas and the fact that he’s there at all means that Thomas does have anxiety issues. He’s been open abut his social anxiety before, and Virgil encompasses that (among other things).

Patton tries to help. He wants to make Virgil comfortable, to get a laugh or even just a smile out of him. And maybe he does, but Virgil always ends up back to where he started. Anxious and sad.

All I wanna do is take the sad from you, but I can't and you wouldn't let me anyways

I think Patton feels a little helpless. His job, in his mind, is to keep Thomas happy, and to do that the others need to be happy as well. That’s why he tries so so hard. But in Virgil’s case, that’s hard. Not only can he not change who Virgil is or Thomas’s anxiety (and depression? We’re unsure at the moment), but Virgil wouldn’t let him change it. Either out of stubbornness or a fear of the huge change that would be.

The song goes on to repeat, so I won’t put any more lyrics here. I just think this song sheds so much light on how Patton is feeling right now, after Virgil’s rejection of the nicknames and the ask that Patton completely change the way he treats Virgil.

Then there was the whole thing with Deceit and Remus. The two haven’t really had much of a chance to reconcile. Virgil got his feelings out to Patton, but Patton is still sitting on his own.

There’s still a lot those two need to work on and talk about. Thomas seems to be in the middle of reevaluating himself and that includes the relationship his has with his anxiety. I, for one, am looking forward to see how it plays out.

 Oh Heart is one of those nonsense songs I was talking about earlier. I love it, it’s so fun, but it’s also kkiinndddaaa hard to analyze. For me, anyway.

But looking at the lyrics literally all I can think is that it’s Patton singing to Logan, trying to get his attention.

I'm a bee. You're a tree on a moon cloud in the sea. --- Oh heart, Oh Heart, stop making a fool of me. (fool fool fool fool fool fool of me) Maybe I'm a monkey in the a tree running with the hope and possibility Throwing pennies down the wishing well Hoping and wishing Male monkey just to look at me. Look how quickly i can climb a purple tree. I’m gymnast, chemist, centric mathematician. You should look at me. Look at me!

This honestly looks like it’s Patton saying stuff to get Logan’ attention. Like saying “I know big words too!” and trying to impress him. And I can’t blame him! If there’s one side that ignores Patton the most, it’s Logan. He doesn’t think Patton is serious enough, when really he just doesn’t understand Patton’s reasoning. I'm great. I'm green. I'm gorgeous. I'm every thing that starts with a "G" I'm goofy. I'm gargantuan. I'm going to make you laugh again. Got one smile and I'm gone. I live in a horn

Again, a lot of him trying to show off his own knowledge in his own Patton-y way. He wants to get Logan to loosen up and have fun too, which is why he gets so excited whenever Logan makes a pun. I'm everything that a flower is I plan to make about 30 kids I got sink for his and hers and hers for his. One well where my cotton is I'm a Baby and I'm basically The B girl who's been baking your heart in my stove hungry for your love

Patton’s desperate for Logan’s approval. He wants the validation by the embodiment of knowledge, to know that who he is is okay. That his feelings and everything he feels is normal. If anyone would know that, it’s Logan. One day you have to show me How you do that thing when you ignore your heart. Oh, One day you'll have to teach me how you do that thing when you forget about the Sun Sun Sun Sun?

Logan’s able to ignore his own emotions so well, and Patton being the embodiment of emotions, likely doesn’t understand it. How Logan is able to just ignore those things. To ignore Patton. Those two have had such a silent tug-o-war going on, and they have been since Heart vs. Mind. No wonder Patton snapped at him in Moving On, Logan had been ignoring him for so long. Why couldn’t he understand the feelings were too hard to deal with?

 The Flame is the type of song that is so soft it can easily put me to sleep.

You know I think this is my favorite playlist so far.

Anyway, The Flame is definitely about Roman.

Hold on to the flame That only you can hold That keeps at bay the darkest cold Another light could never make you whole

The flame here could be passion, motivation, an idea. Something that keeps the light of creativity alive. Roman, being pride, is easily able to be discouraged and dissuaded. Patton acts a bit like a cheerleader in that regard. I know I’ve said this before on a few other songs, but those two really would not be whole without the other. Their jobs would be a lot harder.

Softly but sure The story that you weave Will be the gift that sets you free The ashes of a tapestry

Patton knows that the creative process takes a long time. He’s there for all of it. But Roman’s the one who weaves the stories, so he sees the work put into it, helps with it.

There will be times That it seems your world and wants collide But hold on for your heart to beat inside To be your guide

Roman has to learn to let Patton really help him. They’ve worked together before, on the Mind Palace, on the Christmas sweaters. So we know that they work well together. It just seems to be on Roman’s terms. Patton is telling him here to let him help, especially when the world throws a bunch of stuff at them. The good and bad.

Hold on to the flame That only you can touch That lights the path it must The journey is a game of trust

Roman has to trust him. Learn to accept the help of others and humble himself a little.

There will be times that grow darker with the dusk But light will still remain in us The longest night is but a shadow's blush

Creating is hard. It takes up so much brain power and a lot of times you fall into this slump and you feel like maybe this time is it. I won’t be able to find that spark of creativity again. And it seems like it takes forever, but eventually it comes back to you.

Patton doesn’t want Roman to burn himself up. He doesn’t want that burn out to happen, because that affects not only Roman, but Patton too. So he wants him to hold onto the flame, don’t let it go so they can keep going.

Is Landslide considered country? I think so? I dunno. I don’t know why people were mad about it, it’s a good song (says someone who grew up in the south).

But like? Listen to the lyrics. Thomas and Joan didn’t put it on the playlist for no reason. You people want angst and this song provides it.

When I looked into what this song meant to the songwriter, I honestly couldn’t think of another reason it would be on Patton’s playlist. This was a song written after a breakup, and I don’t know if Thomas and Joan knew that or not, but after Moving On, I think it’s perfect.

I took my love, took it down I climbed a mountain, and I turned around And I saw my reflection in the snow-covered hills Till the landslide brought me down

Patton puts his love out there for all. We know this. We see it. Thomas loves so much and so hard, because of Patton. So when that love isn’t recuperated or the love that was given back and taken away, it’s crushing. Heartbreaking, literally. So when the breakup happen, imagine how he felt. I mean, I know we saw a bit of it in Moving On, but that was months after the fact. I imagine that, yeah, it felt like the ground came out from under his feet and pulled him down.

Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love? Can the child within my heart rise above? Can I sail through the changing ocean tides? Can I handle the seasons of my life?

Well, I've been afraid of changing 'Cause I've built my life around you But time makes you bolder, even children get older And I'm getting older too

This verse more than anything else in the song just screams Patton to me. He is the children within Thomas’s heart, for one. Heartbreak is hard, and reminding yourself of being a child, when such a thing didn’t happen (I’m talking serious heartbreak, here. And also just in general. To those of you who did have to go through heartbreak as a child, I’m so sorry and I hope you’re doing okay). Moving through a big change in life, standing on the borderline, you could say, is difficult. For someone like Thomas, whose morality keeps literally everything in Thomas’s life he can’t let go of which is to say…everything, it’s super hard for a big change to happen. To having to relearn how to live again, basically.

We saw it, in Patton’s two parter. How hard it was for him to accept that he needed to move on, and that it was okay to be sad. But as time went on, as he got older and learned how to live without his ex, it got easier. Or it will, I should say. I don’t really know the time period in which all this took place between episodes since apparently we’re on a timeline now that’s different to just present day.

Life can be a bitch and sometimes it crashes down on you and hard. Patton, out of all of the others, can and will feel the biggest impact of it.

If Roman was the bruised ego in Logan and Virgil’s debate episode, I’m not really sure what Patton would be like right after a heartbreak (as opposed to months after).

 I feel like we all need the optimism that Float On has in our lives.

But yeah, this strikes me as Patton too. He tries to find the good in everything, even really shitty situations.

Backed my car into a cop car the other day Well he just drove off sometimes life's ok I ran my mouth off a bit too much oh what did i say Well you just laughed it off it was all ok

Oh the optimism. I feel like if this were Virgil’s POV he would be freaking out, but Patton’s just trying to keep things calm and look on the Bright Side. We all have these kind of people in our lives right? Either they’re really helpful or really annoying?

And we'll all float on any way well

Well, a fake Jamaican took every last dime with that scam It was worth it just to learn some sleight-of-hand Bad news comes don't you worry even when it lands Good news will work its way to all them plans We both got fired on the exactly the same day Well we'll float on good news is on the way

Again, the optimism. Taking the chance to remind yourself that yeah, you learned something out of this shitty situation. Good news comes with bad. Something good will happen even if something bad does as well.

And we'll all float on alright Already we'll all float on Alright don't worry even if things end up a bit to heavy We'll all float on alright Already we'll all float on Alright already we'll all float on Ok don't worry we'll all float on Even if things get heavy we'll all float on Alright already we'll all float on Don't you worry we'll all float on All float on

At this point, I don’t know if this is supposed to be Patton comforting Virgil or himself. Or both.

But in the context of the sides, this is really just how you have to calm your anxiety. It’s just constantly what my therapist tells me to do when I start to feel anxious, just tell myself “it’s okay, I’m okay for xyz reasons, this’ll be okay, it’s all good, that situation didn’t go as bad as you think it did, it was actually pretty chill, it’s fine” while doing some deep breathing.

So Patton being like this with Virgil makes total sense to me. Him being Thomas’s morality also makes him be the “dad’ friend and therefore the more comforting side. When Thomas gives comfort, it’s the Patton shining through, so this song is one that definitely highlights that.

 You know, I’m not sure if putting a Beatles song on here was purposeful, or if the lyrics just fit, but The Beatles is such a dad band. And I don’t mean that as an insult to anyone who like The Beatles, they’re a good song but like…how many of us have parents that grew up with The Beatles in their prime? I swear there’s a club of Parent Artist: The Beatles, Elvis, early Michele Jackson. There’s probably more.

A n y w a y

With a Little Help from My Friends is a cute and fun song, honestly. I guess you can’t have a Patton playlist without having at least one song about friends. We all know how much Thomas loves his friends (*insert gif of Logan saying “I think he cares about his friends* here)

What would you think if I sang out of tune? Would you stand up and walk out on me? Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song And I'll try not to sing out of key

Back to Patton being a dad character, this verse just kinda reminds me of a dad. Someone who would randomly burst into song and it probably be a little off key just to either 1) embarrass their kid or 2) make them laugh.

And I don’t mean an actual parent, necessarily. A friend or partner can be the same way. It also shows a bit of insecurity, like trying to make sure that the person he’s singing this to doesn’t leave if he ends up not singing that well.

What do I do when my love is away? Does it worry you to be alone? How do I feel by the end of the day? Are you sad because you're on your own?

This is another show of insecurities. Thomas’s lack of a romantic partner not only affects Roman, but Patton as well (see: the Moving On two parter). Roman wouldn’t be the only side feeling sad and lonely. Patton, needing that attention and validation just as much or maybe more than Roman, shares some of the same feelings.

No, I get by with a little help from my friends Mh, get high with a little help from my friends Mh, gonna try with a little help from my friends

I’m just going to go ahead and say that I’m not sure Patton would understand the high joke. I’m not even sure I understand the high joke.

But anyway, unlike Roman, Patton—being the source of Thomas’s love for his friends—would absolutely find that solace and validation through his friends. There’s a difference between platonic and romantic love, but as we see in the next verse, Patton just needs the love. He needs to be loved by other people in order to feel happy. Not to go all Logan, but looking at Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, that kind of support is something you literally need in order to function as a human being.

Do you need anybody? I need somebody to love Could it be anybody? I want somebody to love

Would you believe in a love at first sight? Yes, I'm certain that it happens all the time What do you see when you turn out the light? I can't tell you, but I know it's mine

I…really don’t want to talk about that last line. I’ll leave it there for your own interpretation.

Let’s just focus on the love at first sight line. Again, very Patton. He seems to me like someone who falls in love easily. And in this case, love at first sight doesn’t necessarily have to be romantic. Meeting someone who you just immediately click with is something that, yeah, happens all the time. Some of those people end up being lifelong friends (hi Kai).

Also I may be talking just from an ace perspective. It’s always been easy for me to love my friends (I relate very highly to Thomas in this regard).

But from a romantic (and I guess sexual??? But in my mind, that’s sorta Roman/Remus’s area. Also very uncomfy for me to talk about so we’re just not going to touch on it) perspective, yeah. Wanting romantic love is a hell of a drug. And in my opinion, romantic love at first sight is 100% possible and happens more than we probably think it does. And again, Patton (Thomas) strikes me as someone who falls in love easily, so it makes sense to me that he would relate to this idea.

Do you need anybody? I just need someone to love Could it be anybody? I want somebody to love

I feel that it’s important to note that at this point in the song, the singer sounds very tired. Like yes I just want somebody to love stop asking. It also strikes me as an affirmative to the questions asked. Yeah, it can be anybody. But in the repeated chorus that comes after, they also reiterate that they get by with help from their friends. Their friends are there and they help, even if they don’t fill the romantic hole. They still provide that support and love that can fuel someone who loves as strongly as Thomas does.

 What Makes The World is another song I just love. It’s so fun to sing along with and it’s catchy and fun and it’s just great.

Also, and I know I probably sound like a broken record here, but it’s such a Patton song! And like, I know that’s the point! But still! It’s so good!

Oh, I heard that spreading hate is easy And kindness is beneath me But that ain't so And I heard that God ain’t worth believing And hearts are made for keeping But that ain't so Fear can be found in the heart of the proud Peace runs it out without making a sound

Patton’s such an optimist. He’s also stubborn, as hears can be. So believing in what these lyrics are saying is 100% him. Believing that kindness is easier than spreading hate, believing in God and knowing when to let go of someone, living in peace instead of fear. It’s all so Patton. It makes so much sense to his character and that these lyrics would speak to him.

What makes the world What makes the world What makes the world What makes the world keep spinning? What makes it all What makes it all What makes a life worth living now? Love makes the world go 'round

This is the only time I’m going to put the chorus, so let’s talk about it.

For someone like Thomas, who, as we’ve established, seems to love so easily, believing that love and kindness is what makes up the world and gives life worth makes a lot of sense. Thomas, as people would say, has a kind heart. He reminds me of characters like Steven Universe or Mable Pines, both characters who care a lot about those around them, their friends especially.

Also, just for lyrics themselves, they have a ring of truth to them. Being cynical and full of hate gets no one anywhere. Spreading love and kindness and happiness makes life a lot better, both for you and those around you. And it’s a mindset Patton has. It’s why he tries to keep the peace between the other sides. Having inner peace and inner kindness is super important, and I think it’s something he tries hard to keep up, even when things get rocky.

Oh, I heard to turn away a neighbor Is living without danger But that ain’t so Love is so much more than just a feeling It's comforting and it's healing For our souls

It’s really hard to analyze where there’s not much to analyze. Or sounding more of a broken record than I already am.

This just furthers the idea that Patton holds this kindness mindset close. Helping others is an important part of that, even and especially a neighbor. And maybe it does show a little bit of him being quick to trust, because while helping a neighbor out can be good, you should also be cautious because people are crazy. But in Patton’s mind, of course you should help! They are your neighbor after all!

Now the next verse is something that strikes me as something directed at Virgil and Logan, both of whom are reluctant to admit they love someone. But love is more than a feeling, it’s something that can encompass all of us. it’s a strong power, one that can be wielded for lots and lots of good.

And hey, loving oneself is important. Being loved by others is important. It’s really not something any of us could live without.

I could know the future I could tell you what it holds I could own the world And all its glitter and its gold I could have the faith To move mountains and the sea Without love, I don't have anything

This is a verse that pretty much translate to the last line in it. You can have all the power in the world, but without love, do you really have anything? It your life really whole?

And you know, I think Patton would remind himself of this a lot. Especially when Thomas is having another one of his dilemmas and Roman and Virgil or Roman and Logan are fighting again, when Thomas (and himself) start to feel down and doubtful. It’s a small thing, to some. After all, love can’t cure anxiety or depression. Love can’t solve every problem.

But it helps, even a little bit.

 Do I even really need to put the lyrics here for Somewhere Over the Rainbow/It’s a Wonderful World? Don’t most of us just know these lyrics already?

Also can we just all appreciate the amazing talent of Israel Kamakawiwo’ole??? Such an amazing voice.

Anyway yeah I’m going to put the lyrics, because I know most of you aren’t going to want to look them up. Which is valid.

Somewhere over the rainbow Way up high And the dreams that you dreamed of Once in a lullaby Somewhere over the rainbow Blue birds fly And the dreams that you dreamed of Dreams really do come true ooh ooooh Someday I'll wish upon a star Wake up where the clouds are far behind me Where trouble melts like lemon drops High above the chimney tops that's where you'll find me Oh somewhere over the rainbow, bluebirds fly And the dream that you dare to, oh why, oh why can't I?

The Wizard of Oz honestly feels like a movie/show Patton would really like. Dorthy seems like someone he would relate to. Her kindness and optimism I feel like would speak to him. Also, she has a super cute dog.

Somewhere Over the Rainbow is a very wistful song. It’s a song that promises that things will be better, one day. That you will achieve your dreams, even if those dreams aren’t wild. I think it really shows that Patton has dreams too, but not necessarily as big as Roman. This song is a lot more chill than the multiple on Roman’s playlist that talked about achieving your dreams. And this is the only song on here that really talks about dreams. And honestly in Patton’s case, it seems like his dream is to just be happy, however that may be.

Well I see trees of green and red roses too I'll watch them bloom for me and you And I think to myself What a wonderful world Well I see skies of blue and I see clouds of white And the brightness of day highlight the dark and I think to myself What a wonderful world

The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky Are also on the faces of people passing by I see friends shaking hands Saying, "How do you do?" They're really saying, "I...I love you" I hear babies cry and I watch them grow They'll learn much more Than we'll know And I think to myself What a wonderful world, world

The entire meaning of What a Wonderful World is to marvel at all the little things that exist, like flowers blooming, the rainbow, the kindness people show one another. Of seeing the good in the world and really appreciating it.

That’s something Patton absolutely reminds Thomas to do. Think about how the generations after him will learn so much more about the world, everything that had to have happened for the sun to shine today, the beauty of everything around him. Really “stop and smell the roses” kind of vibe.

And maybe because it’s such a chill song, but it makes me think of sitting outside on a warm but not too warm spring day, breathing in the fresh air and enjoying the sounds of nature. Or driving down a winding road in the mountains, appreciating the beauty of everything around you, how big the world is and how vast. Watching the birds fly overhead, watching people as you sit at a red light as you pass through a town. Wondering what their lives are like, if they’re doing okay, hoping that they’re in a good place.

Okay, I may have some experience with this.

But it’s also something I can imagine Thomas doing with some goading from Patton. Logan might be the “there’s a ton of stuff that had to have happened in order for you to exist so you should appreciate that” but Patton is the one who actually appreciates this (and the more I think about it, the more I think it’s a tragedy that Patton couldn’t be in Why Do We Get Out of Bed in the Morning).

Besides, if anything can appreciate being alive, it’s the heart.

 Alright everyone, last two songs here we go

I honestly had no idea what Golden Slumbers brought to the playlist, other than it being a nice soft song that goes well with the transition to the end. then I realized this version of it was a cover of a Beatles song (I’m not that familiar with them okay?). So I wondered why they didn’t’ just put the original song on the playlist (I know there’s already a Beatles song on there, but they went to the trouble of putting the original version of I Need a Hero on Roman’s playlist and YES I am still salty it’s not the Shrek 2 version).

Turns out the cover is from a movie called I am Sam, and it’s about a disabled father raising his daughter to the best of his abilities. Now, I haven’t seen the movie, and I did just a little bit of research, so it could be totally missing the mark here. But the fact that the movie is about a father-child relationship felt a little too on the nose to ignore.

Now, as we all know, Patton is not really a father nor is he disabled. But a movie with such a moving plot and a high focus on the father’s determination to be a good one for his daughter seems to me like something Patton would very much, well, take to heart.

Once there was a way To get back homeward Once there was a way To get back home Sleep pretty darlin' Do not cry And I will sing a lullaby Golden Slumbers fill your eyes Smiles await you when you rise

These lyrics just repeat so…really this is all there is.

This song just brings comfort to the mind. I mean, that’s what lullabies are, right? Something to sing to your child when they can’t sleep in order to soothe their mind.

However, and allow me to get a little angsty and kinda headed into headcannon territory, it also seems like something one would use to comfort oneself. Maybe when they’re crying at night because some emotions are just too overwhelming, or they had a really bad day. A soft and sweet song to soothe the mind could be really helpful.

Now I’m not saying that that’s even remotely what Thomas and co were thinking when adding this song, but it was just something that popped into my head.

 It’s so fitting that the last song is from Winnie the Pooh. I just love that. And be honest, how many of you are just now realizing it’s from Winnie the Pooh because you didn’t see the cover art at first? Huh? Huh? Just me? Okay.

I can’t decide if So Long is talking about Virgil or not. Like, I want it to be, but I don’t know if that’s actually it’s purpose.

It's not complicated but very hard to grasp But every time I see you I laugh I won't get too sappy, I've had no epiphany I just enjoy your company

See? Seems like Patton’s version of his friendship with Virgil. I mean, really, Virgil is the only one out of the other sides who Patton actively calls his friend. It’s clear he wants that relationship with Logan and Roman, but Patton and Virgil are really the only ones with any kind of clear friendship

You test my nerves, it makes me stronger So can you bother me a little bit longer? Hate to say goodbye, goodbye Hate to see the end, the end 'Cause it's been so long since I've made a friend

I feel like in the beginning, Virgil really did test Patton’s nerves. Patton wasn’t the number one Virgil fan until after Accepting Anxiety. Likely because Thomas had made the realization Virgil wasn’t the bad guy, but we’re getting off topic. Looking back at times before that arc, Patton seemed to only tolerate Virgil like the others did, though he did grow to Virgil faster than the others, even Thomas.

Hate to say goodbye, goodbye Hate to see the end, the end 'Cause it's been so long since I've made a friend like you Well, I could dot the I's and you could cross the T's 'Cause letters alone are lonely

God that’s so cute.

Anyway, yeah, very Patton imagery there. Kinda reminds me of the puppet episode, the simplicity of it. But giving the letters a “buddy” makes me think of Patton being Virgil’s buddy. It also makes them complete, and Virgil completes their little group.

Well, I could be the blossom and you could be the bee And then I could call you honey

Again, two things that go together, making something better.

Also, again with the very cute imagery.

You test my nerves, it makes me stronger So can you bother me a little bit longer? Hate to say goodbye, goodbye Hate to see the end, the end 'Cause it's been so long since I've made a friend Hate to say goodbye, goodbye Hate to see the end, the end 'Cause it's been so long since I've made a friend like you Some like to be alone, independent and on their own All alone, I guess they're free but not me, not me

Yeah, Patton being a loner isn’t really something that adds up. He’s very sociable and likes to be around the others. I mean, Thomas loves being around his friends, so it makes sense that Patton would be bored being alone, or just straight up dislike it.

Hate to say goodbye, goodbye Hate to see the end, the end 'Cause it's been so long since I've made a friend Hate to say goodbye, goodbye Hate to see the end, the end 'Cause it's been so long since I've made a friend like you

Okay i’m actually going to address the phrase that’s repeated a thousand times.

Remember how Patton said he likes to leave his room when they have to have a T party because he gets to see the others? Well it was kinda implied that he doesn’t always like going back. He likes interacting with the others and hanging out with them. A lot of times in the episodes, he seems excited to see the others when they come up (or appear, in Virgil’s case).

Or, there is one more conclusion I can make to this song.

This is Patton talking to…well, us. the listeners. We’ve spent the past hour listening to his songs, ones he put together (look at the descriptions of the playlists. They’re all implied to have been together by each side). So, after to listening to all these songs he “used to listen to when {he} was {our} age…and {his} age now” it would make sense in my mind that he would then consider us friends and this is his way of saying goodbye.

“I had a good time with you, kiddos, I hate to see you go! Come back some time. So long!”

[secret-engima]

Worlds Unseen verse Drabble: Stand By You (Even in Dreams)

(here I am, writing something I have no idea what to do with. Enjoy the angst? This ends really abruptly but I didn’t know how to wrap it up. gfhgfd it was interesting to write at least. Also, potential spoilers for Horizon Zero Dawn).

...

     He showed up about two days in. A silent companion walking steadily at her side even though that —he— was impossible. She was determined to ignore him at first. She didn’t know if he was born of her increasing hunger and thirst, her loneliness, or if the air was turning toxic the more damage the swarm did to the world, but he wasn’t real. He couldn’t be. So she ignored him.

     Still, he walked beside her. Not speaking, not ranting or babbling or screaming, just-. Walking. Watching. He watched the world around them with sad eyes, very emotive eyes. Sometimes he almost seem to stumble over the rubble of the road. If it hadn’t been for the impossibility of it, of him, she might have believed he was real. Her imagination was too strong apparently.

     But he was impossible. Dressed like something out of a post-apocalyptic movie, furs and leathers mixed with machine piping and wires, his painted face exposed to the ruined world without dying even though she knew that people needed vacuum-sealed suits now just to survive. He was impossible.

     She would never admit that it felt good not to be alone. Even if her company was just a figment of her imagination.

     She made it through three days of silence before she broke, “You ever gonna talk, or are you a silent hallucination?”

     Blue-grey eyes, more like storm clouds than skies, shifted away from the landscape to look at her, “You didn’t seem in the mood for conversation,” he spoke, and she noted what almost sounded like a Japanese accent —odd choice brain, why not a southern accent like Travis or something?—, “so I left you alone.”

     She sighed, “Well, not much else to do out here but indulge my insanity.”

     “You think you’re dreaming me up.”

     “Aren’t I?”

     The hallucination shrugged, “I don’t know. I think that I’m dreaming you up, personally, and you believe you’ve dreamed me up. Maybe we’re both dreaming up each other. Or maybe we’re both just dreams. Does it matter?”

     She mulled over that for probably longer than it deserved, “I guess not.”

...

...

...

     “Where are we going?”

     She looked up tiredly at the words, jolted out of the daze that had been settling into her bones by the soft voice of the impossibility following her around, “I’m trying to get home. You can leave whenever you want.”

     A loose shrug, as if her words were merely a polite suggestion and not a jab at her insanity, “Are you sure you want to see it this way? It’s not going to be pretty.”

     They both paused to look around at the ruined landscape. Skyscrapers smoking in the distance, roads cracked and torn apart, the entire world either burned or eaten by unstoppable metal monsters, the sky turned unnatural colors as the atmosphere was ruined ever further. No, she mentally agreed. She probably did not want to see her home this way. But still … “I have nowhere else to go. I’m a dead woman anyway. I want to die at home.”

     He shrugged again, as if to say without words that it was her choice, and they kept walking.

     She wondered distantly when his footsteps had started to make sound, just like real ones did.

...

...

...

     “You got a name? It’s getting boring just calling you the Hallucination in my head.”

     An amused glance her way, “I thought you weren’t supposed to indulge hallucinations because it would only make them worse.”

     She scoffed, the sound laced with static through the speakers of her suit, “Worst case is that I die before I get home, talking to thin air. Best case is that I die at the ranch, still talking to thin air. Might as well risk it. So, do you have a name?”

     He tilted his head and considered her. There was something eerie in his gaze, something too keen and too alive. Something too old. It fit the strange military uniform he was wearing today, “Bast,” he finally said, “Bast Lucis Caelum.”

     “Pretentious,” she huffed, and his lips twitched like he agreed and found her opinion amusing. It was stupid to introduce herself to a hallucination of her own mind, because surely he knew everything about her already. But even so, boredom and manners made her tap her chest plate and say, “Elisabet. Elisabet Sobeck.” He stopped and stared at her with wide, startled eyes, the most open emotion she had yet seen from him. His mouth opened, then shut, then he shook his head and muttered something that sounded distinctly like “should have known” and she was intrigued despite herself, “You didn’t know who I was. Shouldn’t you know everything about me?”

     He scoffed, a dry, tired noise, “No. I didn’t. I knew your voice was familiar, but I can’t- I can’t see you under that suit. I wasn’t sure. And I don’t know much about you. Not really.” A pause, a thoughtful look at the ruined horizon and the swirling dust beneath their feet, “Tell me?”

     Elisabet didn’t feel much like talking about herself to, essentially, herself, but she was used to answering vague, childish questions after so long working with Gaia, and somehow she found herself talking as she hiked through the empty landscape. About herself, about her past, about her dreams. Bast listened without judgement, just occasionally made a questioning noise that let her know he was listening.

     It was a relief to not feel alone in this place. Even if she knew logically she was more alone than she had ever been before in her life.

...

...

...

     “If you had a daughter,” Elisabet jerked awake from her daze at the sound, blinked and tried to shake off the effects of dehydration —the suit had run out of water stims to inject into her bloodstream yesterday and she was already feeling the effects—, “what would you say to her?”

     “I don’t have any children,” she retorted and tried not to sound bitter about it, “for the best, really, considering … this.” She waved a hand at the fallen buildings and smoking spires. Ruins without bodies, everything already picked clean of organic material by the swarm as it had passed by. That was probably the only reason she was still alive. This area had already been deemed empty by the swarm and it had moved on before she had … left.

     “Humor me.”

     She looked at her imaginary companion. He was dressed in post-apocalypse leathers and cables again, his blond hair half shaved, the other half left to flop to the side like some kind of sad not-mohawk. His weapons hadn’t changed. They were just as anime as ever. A katana at one hip, a bow on his back and a quiver of arrows on his other hip, knives peaking out from seemingly every pocket. He was watching her with something very focused and serious in his gaze. Like he could see through her suit and into her eyes. She licked dry lips beneath her visor, “It doesn’t matter. I don’t have anyone.”

     He stopped walking, she stopped instinctively so as to not leave him behind. He reached out as if to grab her shoulder, paused before he could touch her and lowered his hand. Grey eyes looked dark with intent, with desperation, “If you had a daughter,” he started to repeat.

     “Well I don’t!” She snapped, temper breaking free of its leash, “I’m childless! I have no daughter, I have no future! I’m talking to a hallucination! You’re a figment of my mind, why won’t you just change the subject?”

     “Because this is important!” He snarled back with more ferocity than she expected. He stormed forward until they were almost touching, his nose inches from her faceplate, “This is important, Elisabet. I don’t know what’s going on, if I’m dead or dreaming or what, but I have a chance to ask this and I’m taking it!”

     A fractured pause between them, tense and disbelieving on both sides. Then Bast ran a hand through his hair and stepped back, “Now please. If you had a daughter, what would you tell her?”

     A pointless question. A pointless question that was painful to even think about, especially here. Especially now. She turned away and resumed walking, listened to the crunch of footsteps that couldn’t really be there as they followed her and thought about changing the subject.

     And yet…

     “If I had a daughter … I would tell her that I loved her. So much. I would tell her … to be brave. And curious. And kind. That- that the world has enough people out there hurting it, and that it takes a special kind of person to heal it instead. If only a little bit. I would tell her that I support her, no matter what she decided to do with her life, and that wherever she went … whatever she did, I would believe in her. Anything she wanted to be, or achieve, she could do it. I know she could.” Elisabet looked up at the sky, taking in the starscape just beginning to be visible, “I would tell her to reach for the stars, because if she wanted to, she could touch them. And no matter what happened next … I would be … so proud. I would love her, and I would… I …”

     “I would tell her that I would always be proud of my baby girl.”

     Bast let her fall silent after that. Politely looked away as her shoulders shook and her breath hitched inside the suit. Then, after minutes upon minutes of aching silence, he whispered, “I’ll remember that.”

     And Elisabet wondered why it felt like such a relief to hear those words. Even though logically she knew that she had no child, and even if she had, they would never hear what Elisabet had to say.

...

...

...

     It was getting hard to see straight. Hard to think. She wasn’t sure how long it had been since the suit ran out of nutrient stims. Just that it had, and she had kept walking. She had avoided the swarm, somehow, and now … now she was so tired. So very tired.

     “Keep walking,” Bast said, and she wondered when she had stopped caring that he was a figment of her mind and instead clung to the comfort of his presence. To the steadiness of his voice even in a world eaten alive. “That’s it, isn’t it? Up ahead.”

     She looked up. Cried when she saw the weathered letters of the Sobeck Ranch looking back, “Yeah. That’s it. That’s home.” She had made it. She had made it home. Crazy and dying and alone at the end of the world but … she was home. She staggered past the wrecked gate, tried not to look at the devastation. The swarm had been through here, she could tell. All the trees were gone, all the grass ripped out of the ground by the roots. The walls caved in to get to the ivy that had been growing on them. Her home was in as much ruins as the rest of the world.

     But it was still here.

     She sank shakily onto the old stone bench that faced the house and sighed.

     This would be a good place to die.

     Bast settled next to her, crouching on his haunches near the bench rather than risk touching her —he never touched her, and she wasn’t sure if that was out of respect for her boundaries or because they both knew it would break the illusion that he was ever there—. He was quiet. He had been getting a lot quieter, the longer the journey went on. The more Elisabet faded. He only spoke now to wake her up, to tell her to keep moving. But she was home now, so there was no more reason to stay awake, or to walk. This was it. This was where she was going to stay until the end.

     She wondered, a little dazedly, if it would be scary for Bast. If he would fade with her consciousness, acting alive until the end, or if her brain would just get too tired to keep him around and he would wink into nothing between one heartbeat and the next. That thought scared her more than it should.

     “Hey, Bast?”

     “Yeah?”

     She licked dry lips and shifted to be marginally more comfortable on the bench. Tilted her head back to the sky and idly rolled her little globe charm in her fingers as she whispered, “If I had a daughter … what would her name be? What … would she be like?”

     The silence that followed was deep and long. So long she closed her eyes with a shaking sigh, sure that her brain had finally gotten bored with making him and left her well and truly alone. Then.

     “Aloy. Her name would be Aloy. She would … look just like you. Red hair, bright green eyes that try to pick apart everything in the world around her. She would be … curious. Brave. Unstoppable. The smartest person in the room wherever she went but not … arrogant about it. Always looking for knowledge, always looking to learn. She would be … afraid of a lot of things, but she would never let it stop her. She would be very kind. Always willing to help other people in need, even when it’s risky, or when she would rather do something else. She would … look at a boy about her age that … no one wanted anything to do with because he was weird and she would hold out a hand in friendship. She would learn a foreign language just so she could talk to her new friend better, and ask questions no else thinks to ask. She would do … so many amazing things.”

     Elisabet tried to picture it. Indulged in the fantasy of it, just for a little while, “What things?”

     “Well,” Bast mused slowly, a note of gentle, nostalgic fondness in his voice, “there was this one time when we were eleven, and Aloy decided she wanted to surprise Rost, our … caretaker, so…”

     Elisabet listened. Eyes closed, breath slowing, basking in stories of the impossible. Of children and curiosity, of teenagers and bravery. Of a daughter who was unstoppable, and curious, and kind enough to fix the world, just a little bit. She listened to Bast’s voice rise and fall in stories of hope and heartbreak and danger and kindness. Her hand slowly relaxed around her little globe charm. It would be alright to doze off just for a little while, right? To dream of these fanciful stories her own mind was telling her.

     Just for a little while. Maybe … maybe she would get to see them? In her dreams if nothing else.

     Just for a little bit.

     Thank you, she tried to tell Bast past lips too tired to move. Thank you for staying with me, even if you aren’t really here.

     Thank you for not letting me die alone.

...

...

...

     Bast finished his story, one of many he had been telling, through the day and night and into the dawn again. He looked up from the pebbles he had been fiddling with, only half feeling them, as if he was touching them in a dream.

     He couldn’t hear Elisabet breathing anymore.

     He closed his eyes. Opened them and looked around the ruined world one more time. He could feel it, the tug in his soul that had been trying to make him wake up for a while now. He could have left days ago, followed the tug and gone back to the world of the living. But even if this was all just a dream —which it might be, or it might not, could he really judge after all the things he’d seen?—, he hadn’t wanted to leave yet. He hadn’t wanted to disappear and leave her alone.

     It was the least he could do, for Aloy’s mother.

     He stood up, letting the tugging sensation unravel through his soul as he stared at the unmoving figure slumped over on the stone bench, “I’ll come find you,” he whispered, “when I wake up. When this is all over. I’ll take Aloy here to meet you. Just wait for me until then, okay?”

     There was no answer. He didn’t expect any.

     The tugging feeling grew stronger and yanked him away, and Bast had just enough time to whisper goodbye before he opened his eyes in the real world, aching all over and with a relieved Aloy crying at his head.

     “-you thinking? You almost died!”

     “Sor’y, Aloy.”

     “I’ll show you sorry, all those lectures on being reckless and there you go and do something stupid like that-!”

     “Your Mom says hi.”

     “I’m going to- what?”

     Bast shook his head with a sigh. She didn’t know yet. She still had hope.

     He would tell her later. When he took her to meet Elisabet, “Neverm’nd. Tell you later.” He reached up and tugged one of her braids gently, “Missed you.”

     He squinted past the tears dripping onto his face as she pulled him into her lap, “I missed you too you big idiot. Don’t scare me like that again.”

     “Okay.”

[maxsmusicmacrology]

Album Analysis: Best of Crush 40

Halfway through the 90s, everything changed. The PlayStation came out in 94, allowing games with 3D graphics and high-fidelity (for the time, that is) audio. Big Red came hopping onto the scene with Super Mario 64 in 96, and Sonic Adventure came onto the scene at the very end of 98. As a latecomer to the 3D party, arriving over 2 years after Mario had such a successful romp, they needed something special. They needed…

Children’s media! I’m of the opinion that there are two main categories that children’s media can fall into: there’s media that is specifically made for children, like Blue’s Clues or Peppa Pig or those licensed Sesame Street games. Then there’s kid-friendly media that, while made for and marketed towards children, can still appeal to adults. This would be most Pixar movies, shows like Phineas and Ferb, and the object of today’s article, the Sonic franchise.

While there’s some pretty huge differences between children’s media and kid-friendly media, one thing they both have in common is the goal of teaching children a moral lesson. With varying degrees of success. This can be something simple like “stealing is bad”, but oftentimes there’s some greater nuance, like how the protagonist of Inside Out learns to value sadness and other “negative” emotions. But when working with hardware that has some intense limitations, like the NES or Sega Genesis, telling a complex story isn’t easy, which is why Save the Princess plots (Super Mario Bros., The Legend of Zelda, the opening to Final Fantasy) were so common: it allowed for a moral hero without requiring any deeper discussion. Sonic the Hedgehog went with a bit more of an environmentalist message- saving animals from an evil scientist- which was easy enough to portray in only 16 bits.

Halfway through the 90s, everything changed. The PlayStation came out in 94, allowing games with 3D graphics and high-fidelity (for the time, that is) audio. Big Red came hopping onto the scene with Super Mario 64 in 96, and Sonic Adventure came onto the scene at the very end of 98. As a latecomer to the 3D party, arriving over 2 years after Mario had such a successful romp, they needed something special. They needed…

I’m going to review this album out of order. This is a “Best of” album, so rather than being a picture of the band’s musical vision at any given time, it contains some of their best work from over a decade-long span. What I’m especially interested in is how the music interacts with its respective game and how it evolves with the franchise, so let’s take a look at song #15 first.

Open Your Heart kicks off Sonic Adventure with a bang. It’s the first thing you hear when you boot the game up and it accompanies the final battle. Well, most of it, anyway- part 1 of the battle gets Open Your Heart and part 2 gets generic “tense orchestral music”, which is a flat-out awful decision, but I digress. Tonally, it’s perfect- it starts out tense, preparing you for the fight ahead, and then the guitars kick in to pull you forward. But more importantly… this is why I brought up the moral conflict earlier. The story is simple, so the game leans on the song to deliver its message.

Much of the lyrics are as relevant today as they probably were for most of human history: the quieter intro bit describes various catastrophes, and describes the fear and confusion that follows (much like the one we’ve been living in for the past few months). The song’s chorus is built around a dialectic: Can’t hold on much longer/but I will never let go, but then ends with Open your heart, it’s gonna be alright. Together, these components combine the fear of catastrophe with the innate desire to make things better. It instills the idea that it’s okay to have conflicting feelings about a course of action, then promises that your heart will make the right choice.

Live and Learn is the main theme of the direct sequel, Sonic Adventure 2, and fills the same roles as Open Your Heart. The opening riff plays when the game is launched, the full song plays over the final battle, and it delivers the moral lesson of the game. If Open Your Heart introduces a lesson about conflict, then Live and Learn teaches you what to do when you’ve made the wrong choice. What happens if you trust the wrong people, stay when you should’ve run or run when you should’ve stayed, let something important fall into the wrong hands?

The very title of the song hints at its message- you learn from your mistakes and do better- but to me the line that really hits comes in the second verse. But you can’t save your sorrows/you’ve paid in trade. It recontextualizes all the regret someone feels from a mistake as a sort of currency: it’s not to be saved, kept in your mind and dwelled on- you’ve exchanged it, traded it for valuable life experience. If you focus on the mistake instead of the lesson, you’ll never grow, and it’ll all have been a waste. Not only is it a natural progression from the last song, it’s an absolute banger of a track.

Next up is Sonic Heroes, the intro track to… Sonic Heroes. That won’t be confusing. I don’t have a whole lot to say about this one, it’s not the big moral apex of the game and it’s much more of a title theme than the song the game wants you to walk away from. It’s goofy as hell to listen to, but it always puts a smile on my face.

What I’m Made of is the final battle theme to Sonic Heroes and is, in my opinion, the finale of the Open Your Heart trilogy. Looking at the three songs is a sort of rudimentary 3-act structure: you have the introduction and first conflict, the dark part at the end of act 2, and the triumphant closer. The protagonist takes the lesson they learned through the story and uses it to defeat their opponent. What I have in my two hands is enough to set me free. Use the lessons you’ve learned through hardship to better yourself. The songs form a very nice trilogy when viewed like this that parallels the games quite nicely, and I’m confused as to why they’re all out of order on the album.

That finishes off the Adventure and Heroes saga, and now onto… Shadow the Hedgehog… god. I Am… All of Me is the opening track to the game and also the first song on the album, and it’s so goofy. It tries to be all dark and intimidating because Shadow is the dark and edgy character, who has guns and says “damn” because he has a tragic backstory, and the character isn’t edgy because he’s a cartoon hedgehog and and the song isn’t edgy because it’s a song about a cartoon hedgehog.

That doesn’t mean it’s bad, mind you. I enjoy it, and in a way it’s a perfect fit for the game. It’s like a kid wearing a vampire costume on halloween: they can try to scare you all they want, but the worst they can do is make you smile.

All Hail Shadow is the next Shadow the Hedgehog piece. This one was originally by a group called Magna-Fi, and was covered by Crush 40 for use in later games when the band broke up. Shadow the Hedgehog features multiple paths and multiple endings, and this is the “true hero” ending when the player makes all the heroic choices. This song does a good job painting Shadow as Sonic’s foil: both of them are heroes from this point forward, but while Sonic is more of a classical hero, Shadow is an anti-hero. Somewhere in chaos we all find ourselves/this destruction is the only tale we tell. The game features Shadow trying to recover his memories and find his true self, figure out who he really is, and this is the song that has him rediscover himself as a hero.

Finally, Never Turn Back is the true ending theme for the game, and the last Shadow the Hedgehog song in the album. This is the “moral lesson” song I’ve been on about so much, and it’s a damn good one. It starts with a slow cover that samples I am… All of Me, then it gets a powerful kick that rings in the rest of the song. The message in the song is similar to Live and Learn about not repeating mistakes, but Never Turn Back gives a sense of a much more arduous period in one’s life. If Live and Learn is about recovering from a mistake, Never Turn Back is about recovering from a long series of them. It’s been a long rough road but I’m finally here/Move an inch forward, feels like a year. It’s very much about cutting yourself free of a bad period in your life and how difficult it can be to even stay put, but the positive vibe of the song reminds us to celebrate the small victories. It’s a bit more mature of a message for a game that… at least tried to be more mature.

I haven’t talked a whole lot about how the music interacts with the events of the game partially because this is a music review, but partially because it’s gone perfectly hand and hand with the music so far. There hasn’t been much dissonance between “rock music that gives life advice” and “young-ish hedgehog learning how to live life”. That’s about to change, though, because it’s time for Sonic 06. At the end of Sonic Adventure 2, Sonic declared that he was no one special, “just a guy who loves adventure”. This is when that ceased to be true.

The first three songs we discussed weren’t about Sonic. The singer was a nameless narrator occasionally fighting a nameless opponent. They were relevant to the series, but they could be about anyone. That’s what made them so versatile. His World is the main theme of Sonic 06, and where the other 2 versions of the song existed more to hype up Sonic as a character, the Crush 40 cover was more about the events of the game. As a song, it’s pretty good: it’s a more intense version of the original song, and it’s got a slower but steadier pace to it. But here’s what sets it apart from the other main themes: it’s about Sonic. It’s not a lesson about facing conflict and overcoming adversity wrapped up in an upbeat rock song, it’s about the events of the game and how awesome Sonic is. He isn’t the everyman anymore, he’s an important figure, a chosen one to save the world from this point forward. The music reflects that.

To really drive home this new direction they were going, Sega released two games for the Wii called “Sonic Storybook��� games, where Sonic would become the main character of two classic stories: Arabian Nights and the legend of King Arthur. They’re both terrible in… just about every aspect, but the first entry Sonic and the Secret Rings is godawful. The main theme Seven Rings in Hand wasn’t written or originally performed by Crush 40, but for some reason they decided to cover it for their album, so I have to talk about it: it’s trash. It’s a bunch of empty lyrics about nothing with some pretty subpar mixing.

While Sonic and the Black Knight isn’t much better, it at least has a killer main theme. Knight of the Wind as a song is pretty badass, but it suffers the same issues as His World. There’s no more important meaning, it’s just about Sonic being a knight and saving people. It has a few familiar “never give up” themes, but it doesn’t do anything as well as Open Your Heart or Live and Learn. It falls into the Sonic Heroes mold where it’s fun to listen to and less fun to really take apart and analyze. The ending theme (which strangely precedes Knight of the Wind) Live Life samples Knight of the Wind, but that’s pretty much the coolest thing it does. It’s slow and pensive, making a sense of faux-thoughtfulness to cover mostly shallow lyrics.

With Me (Massive Power Mix) is the last Sonic and the Black Knight theme here, and was originally written by Crush 40 and performed by singers from the band “All Ends”. The album features a version performed by the band itself, and the song is unique in that it’s sung from the POV of the game’s villain. As a result, it features a look into a character who walked a “dark path”, weighed down by the mistakes they made. Don’t blame [me] for what I have become. It’s an ideological clash against the values in the other songs, arguing that anyone can be tempted to become evil. It’s deeper than anything in the game, but it’s shockingly good considering its source material.

That does it for the main series themes, but there’s a few others on here- a couple tracks for the racing games, an oddly placed cover of Fire Woman, and a too-slow ballad-sounding original song called Is It You. However, I think I’ve gone on long enough, and I’ve discussed everything I wanted to: how the songs showcased on this album elevate the messages given in the games.

Ultimately, all these songs are mirrors of the game they’re in, for better or worse. For that, I have to applaud the band’s versatility- even if most of the songs are the same genre, they cover a wide range of moods and messages depending on what the game demands. They can write a kick-ass guide to getting over failure or a fun little romp to introduce a game. Even divorced from their source material, many of the songs stand well on their own, and there’s a very good reason why fans of the franchise want Crush 40 to return for future installments.

Videos cited:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJYxYzxFyZw Peppa Pig - Caddicarus (warning: weird shit)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4JWYDUYqhlc&list=PL5F29F0909BF08B56&index=15 - Best of Crush 40 Playlist

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=voI-9TdS0Jw - Seven Rings in Hand (Crush 40 Ver)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-HrOjyltyEM - With Me (Massive Power Mix)

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june - july fic rec: month(s) in review

hello & welcome back to the june - july edition of fic rec: month(s) in review! we have a L O T to unpack this time, so let’s dive right in! throughout june & july, we have been blessed with the majority of @larryabroad, as well as the bulk of @hlsummerexchange2019, all of @wordplayfics, wanker’s day fic fest, and many more that i’m probably forgetting. summer was a great time to be a fic reader for sure, thank you to every author who contributed!! 

**disclaimer: not all of these fics were written in june/july, it is simply when i read them. however, a lot of them were. ***note: as always, if you do take my recommendation and read any of these works, please bookmark, comment, and leave kudos for these authors!! it is so important that we support the creators in our community. as an author, i know a sweet comment will often spur me to keep writing when i’m stuck. but, without further ado, here’s my recs below the cut!

J U N E : :

You Were Made To Be Mine by lovelarry10 (@chloehl10)

Louis Tomlinson takes his 6 year old son Jacob to see Harry Styles in concert. Jacob has been a huge fan of Harry's for as long as he can remember, so it's a dream come true when Harry notices him in the pit. But Jacob isn't all that Harry has his eye on...

Louis is a bit embarrassed when Harry picks on him from the stage, but when he's invited backstage after the show, he wonders what Harry Styles could possibly want with a single dad and his kid from Manchester...

This was such a cute read! At a whopping 580k, there is a LOT to sink your teeth into. Though I started it at the beginning of June, I haven’t even nearly finished yet, but it’s so good that it’s made it onto my rec list!

Get Off and Vote by haztobegood (@haztobegood)

Niall lets out a loud laugh, “Hey, listen to this. You know how elections are Tuesday? It says the Babeland on the edge of campus is giving out free toys to the first 100 people that show their ‘I Voted’ sticker.”

“How patriotic.” Louis laughs. “Maybe I should go.”

Haha! This one was great. At 3k, it’s a perfect quick read for some sexy, patriotic fun. 

Surprise Me, Space Boy by jacaranda_bloom (@jacaranda-bloom)

Louis is a solo officer on Space Station Zeta and the isolation can present many challenges, not least of which is that it’s really bloody hard to date. He’s pinning his hopes on that changing with a fellow solo officer, Harry, from a neigbouring station who gives great banter and has a gorgeous smile. Maybe online dating has its benefits after all?

OR The Space Wank Fic.

Oh, this one was so good!!! The thing I love about literally anything Dee writes is that she just thinks completely outside the box. I feel like I never quite know what’s going to happen (in the best way!) and her originality totally made this fic amazing. (7k)

rivers ‘til i reach you by embodied (@crossnecklace)

Louis can’t begin to understand how he’s always this close and still can’t manage to make Harry his. He stands up and gets another beer. AU. Louis studies astronomy; Harry studies Louis. They spend their summers on the water and it shouldn't be complicated (spoiler: it is).

This was such a good read! It’s written in such a way that you’re utterly sucked into the verse so much that you’re a bit sappy when the fic is over. Kinda makes you feel a bit lovedrunk just from reading it. (29k)

Found My Hallelujah by crimsontheory (@ireallysawanangel)

As an engagement gift from his parents, Harry and his fiance receive an all expenses paid cruise trip for two. But one week before they're set to sail, Harry walks in on his fiance cheating on him. Newly single, with the cruise tickets in hand, and his bags already packed, Harry brings along his sister instead. And maybe the cute bartender on the ship might just be the person Harry needs to help him put back together all of his broken pieces.

I have so much to say about this one! I had the absolute honor of beta’ing this 35k work (which im pretty sure i just cheerlead you bc nicole you know grammar isn’t my strong suit...lmfao) and honestly it has become a fic that i love so much! nicole is such a talented writer; everything she writes just brings out so much emotion from her audience, and she has such a great sense of characterization! if you liked this one, check out its sequel, Now I’m Moving Up because it’s great too!!!!

J U L Y : :

Whisk me off my feet by allwaswell16 (@allwaswell16)

When Louis locks himself out of his apartment in just a pair of novelty underwear, he hopes his new neighbor can come to his rescue.

Haha! This one was so cute! What a darling fic! (5k)

The Charles Compass Trilogy by SadaVeniren (@sadaveniren)

Louis Tomlinson is a successful writer who rents a beach house on the Cape to try and finish the final book in his successful Charles Compass trilogy.

So I’m convinced that any rec list I make will not be complete if Sada isn’t on it. Here’s the thing - I fell in love with this story before she was revealed as the author, and honestly I had no clue. She’s got this amazing way of being able to change her style to fit the kind of story she’s trying to tell. This is such a good look at the writing process, highly recommend! (9k)

From The Heart series by jacaranda_bloom (@jacaranda-bloom)

Every Tuesday, Louis spends his day off holed up in his favorite coffee-come-bookshop, writing his little stories as part of the WordPlay challenge while daydreaming about the resident barista, Harry. Each week a new word prompt is revealed and Louis adds to his series of short stories about Henry, the owner of a B&B in the Cotswolds who has curly hair and dimples, Lewis, his long term guest who just happens to be a writer, and Tigger, Henry’s cat.

As Louis and Harry’s friendship develops, could his fantasy world spill out into real life? And how does that reader who leaves the lovely comments with the teacup emoji seem to be able to read Louis’ mind?

Okay, Dee really killed the game this time. Because I was OBSESSED. I mean honestly checking my phone at work to see what the newest installment was. This series is so fulfilling and so so hot to think about as an author! (25k)

blue eyes, black jeans, lighters, candy by delsicle (@emperorstyles)

Harry is in Madrid and Louis had a hard week.

So, the whole dom on tour series is really good, but this is my favorite work of the two. I love basically anything Delaney writes but this was extremely hot! (4k)

Could you love me anyway by SadaVeniren (@sadaveniren)

Dear Mistress Lorin: I’ve been reading your blog for a couple weeks now and was hoping you’d give me some advice for something that happened with me and my boyfriend. I’m really worried that I hurt him.

aka Harry and Louis begin playing ping pong during the X-Factor Tour. It quickly gets out of hand.

Okay. If you know me at all, you know that the way to my heart is either spanking, kink negotiation, or both. This just delivers on it all, and it catches on some main parts of BDSM-for-newbies and kink-gone-wrong that people often pretend never happens. I could gush so much about this, but go ahead and just read it yourself because it’s too good to miss!! (13k)

you are half of me (and I am all for you) by angelichl (@angelichl)

One Direction, an obscure indie rock band, is about to embark on their first cross-country tour, living out of Louis' beloved van named Patricia.

Harry is in love, and Louis is oblivious. Or is he?

Featuring skinny-dipping in Texas waterfalls, getting lost in the desert, stargazing under the New Mexico sky, performing in front of crowds that grow in size each night, and falling in love on the road during the greatest summer of their lives.

Okay WOW. I have so much to say about this one!!! So first off, the biggest thank you to adri for writing this fic for me for HL Summer Exchange!!! Honestly I feel like you spied through all my hopes and dreams and loves (including parenthesis in fic titles??? love it) and squished it all into this fic. it’s just the best fic, and it feels like warm summer air and tracing constellations in the stars and falling in love. if you haven’t read this already, please do!!!! It was so good I teared up when I first read it! (25k)

Heading for Limbo by kingsofeverything (fullonlarrie) (@kingsofeverything)

Childhood best friends who’ve fallen in and out of touch with each other since Louis’ family moved away when they were thirteen, Harry and Louis find their paths crossing again and again. Each time, no matter how many miles apart or how many years it’s been, it’s as if no time has passed. They fall back into their easy friendship, until life intervenes and sends them on their separate ways once more.

When Harry discovers some life-changing things about himself, Louis is there for him, however he needs. But it’s all temporary because Louis has plans that will move his life from New York all the way to L.A. and the distance isn’t the only thing between them.

The pieces of their twice broken hearts are scattered from the Atlantic to the Pacific.

Okay. Okay. This fic literally is one I will remember for the rest of my life, and i’m not even being dramatic about it! So, I really do enjoy leaving authors detailed comments about their fics, but that just wasn’t enough... I really had to message Lauren this whole essay about how Heading for Limbo helped me deal with a lot of emotions I was feeling in my own personal life, and it helped me fully realize that i’m bisexual. (did i just come out?? yikes) it was nice to see a fic where things weren’t perfect over a long stretch of time. It was amazing to see Harry realize his sexuality later in life, because that was one of my main struggles. this fic is one of the best things that’s ever happened to me. Literally, Lauren, thanks for changing my whole life!!! (101k)

Tell Me This Is Paradise by QuickedWeen (@becomeawendybird)

Harry Styles has been lucky in love but unlucky in the bedroom with all of her previous boyfriends. When her best friend Niall finds out that she's never had an orgasm, she knows just what Harry needs: Louis Tomlinson. Niall sets Harry up to get sorted out.

Okay, if you’re new around here, this fic was also on one of my previous rec lists, but then Molly had to ruin my life and write another chapter of it. Jesus Christ!!!! I literally could read this fic every single day and die happily. It’s so hot, and the characterization is so good. So, I guess this rec is specifically for chaper 2, but you’ve gotta read chapter 1 also! For the betterment of your life, of course. (9k)

Abstract by Star55 (@star55)

After Zayn draws a naked Harry for her art class, she finds that she can't stop drawing Harry and Louis' naked bodies, usually engaged in some form of sexual activity.

Literally - this was hot as balls. Loved it! (8k)

alright guys, that’s it! if you read all the way to the bottom, you deserve a sticker. i hope you guys enjoy some of my favorite fics i’ve read! don’t forget to go bookmark, comment, and give kudos! and just remember: we are all human. if you read a work, and loved it, and didn’t comment, it’s never too late! give your author some loooooooove. my life has been super busy and i really haven’t been in the place to leave the thought-out comments i like to, so most of these authors can expect comments from me soon. thank you to all the authors listed above, have a nice day everyone! also, feel free to send your favorite fics into my ask - maybe they’ll end up on my next list!!!

[glacierxheart]

@inrycku​ because starters were asked for and gotta keep up with that Todoroki drama

Rei is just exiting the grocery store, a simple brown bag filled to the brim with ingredients for the dinner she planned to cook for her family at her own place. She’s a bit out of it from the recent change in her medicine, as well as having been doing quite a few errands throughout the day. It had almost been a full three months since she’s been released from the hospital and gained her own autonomy over herself.

Due to her slightly lethargic state, she’s far too late when she rounds a corner of a building and collides right into a stranger having come from the same walkway, making her stumble back and almost drop her bag. “Oh! Oh I am so sorry, please excuse me!”

[kayteewritessteve]

Love and War - 2/16

Description: In a harsh medieval world, you set out on a perilous quest that will lead you onto a forbidden land. A land ruled and controlled by a ruthless Warlord King, one who does not look favourably upon trespassers of any kind, and punishes all with an iron fist. You may not know exactly where this quest will end, but what you do know is you will forever be altered by it. And that knowledge alone is what truly terrifies you the most.

Catch up HERE.

Word Count: 3,580 ish.

Pairing: Medieval!Steve Rogers x Reader.

Rating: PG for now. May become 18+ later.

Warnings: Violence. Curse words. Mentions of fears and potentially brutal medieval tactics. Most likely more to come down the road. Please don’t let these warnings scare you too much, give the story a try before you judge it.

A/N: I sadly don’t own any of these characters. And no beta reader, so I do proudly own all the errors and this story, so there’s that.

“Well, well, well,” the larger of the two starts, “and what do we have here?”

You want to scream, you want to run, but you know both urges are pointless in this moment. You can’t outrun these guards, this is their homeland, and you can only assume they are chosen for the Royal Guard based on their knowledge of the land and their skill sets. And then they are most likely meticulously trained to endure more than the average human. Probably trained to outrun, out strength, and outsmart their opponents, every single time.

So no, running away screaming won’t save you now. You’d be smarter to just listen to their commands and pray they show you mercy. Pray they take your submission and obedience as a form of respect and then maybe, just maybe, they won’t kill you. Maybe they will let you free with a promise to never return. To never enter the King’s land again.

But you’re not an idiot, you know that anyone who has ever entered the King’s land has never returned to tell the tale. And even if your mind is trying desperately to tell you that those lost townsfolk are still alive and just living out their days happily in the King’s city. You know that’s not possible, or true. They are all dead. Just as you will be soon.

“Well, what do you wenches have to say for yourselves?” The smaller guard, with long black hair, snaps.

“We—ah—we’re just—“ you try to form a coherent sentence but your mind is just not cooperating at all. Your heart is pounding in your ears so loudly that you can barely even hear your own voice over it.

“Just what?” The larger guard, with long blonde hair, prompts gently, though he still manages to sound rather irritated.

Wanda raises her hands in an attempt to calm them, “we were just trying to find our way home, we didn’t mean to bother you.”

Thank Gods she is here, you’d have never been able to get that sentence out on your own, let alone even come up with a lie that quickly.

“A likely story,” the smaller guard scoffs, “you are 5 leagues into the King’s land, and you want us to believe you were just lost on your way home?”

“It’s the truth,” Wanda snaps, you can tell she is getting ready to do something stupid, and you pray it doesn’t result in you both being killed on the spot. You quickly grab hold of her hand to help ground her, and she snaps her eyes over to yours for a moment. The physical connection visibly calms her and you plead with your eyes for her to control herself.

After a second she nods her understanding and you turn to the guards, taking a deep breath in, and pulling yourself together you finally find your voice. “We apologize for the intrusion, we are both not very good with wayfinding, as you can tell. If either of you could just point us in the direction of Triskelion we will happily vacate the King’s land immediately.”

The smiles that appear on both guards faces do not help your nerves at all, they make them worse actually. “Unfortunately, that will not be possible as you have trespassed, and the King doesn’t take too kindly to that. You will both have to come with us,” the larger guard says as they both move towards you, menacingly.

“Now just you wait one moment,” Wanda says as you both step back, attempting to keep some distance between yourselves and the intimidatingly large Royal Guardsman. “We didn’t mean to trespass, we are just silly women who can’t tell our North from our South. Surely that isn’t grounds to detain us.”

“It is when you trespass on Royal land,” the smaller guard says as he glances at the larger one, sharing an odd look with him for a moment before they turn back to you both. “You’ll need to come with us, don’t make this any more difficult than it need be.”

You sigh and then hold out your wrists to the guards, there is no point in fighting this, you’ll just end up in deeper water. Wanda glares at you for a moment, but you just glare right back, begging her to stop causing a scene as that will surely only result in you both getting beat for it. She shakes her head defeatedly, then sighs and sticks her hands out as well.

“Good decision ladies,” the larger guard says, patronizingly, as he moves towards you, pulling shackles from his belt as he does. “No need to make things any worse by doing something foolhardy.”

Both guards shackle your wrists, and attach you both to a length of rope, as the larger one then proceeds to basically drag you deeper into the Kings territory. You reluctantly follow, as you aren’t really given much choice in the matter.

But as you continue to journey forward, the guards become further and further ahead. Allowing about 5 yards of space between them and you, basically just enough that you can’t really make out their whispered words. Nor could they potentially make out yours, you note.

You obediently follow behind, stumbling over rocks and fallen trees as they continue to drag you along. Praying they are bringing you to a path or trail of some sort, so your aching legs don’t get anymore beat up by the rigorous pace they have set. But before your pleads can be answered you are forcefully yanked over a rather large tree trunk. Falling to the ground with a yelp, ending up in a heap on the other side, and sadly taking Wanda down with you.

Pain instantly radiates through your left leg, and you grip it, writhing on the ground as you yell out, “Gods dammit!”

Wanda quickly collects herself and attempts to check your leg, but you push her hands away for fear she will only agitate the injury more. “Y/N, let me see it,” she says as she tries again to reach for your leg.

In the background to can hear the guards chuckling to themselves, clearly enjoying your hardship. “Get up foolish little woman, we have a long journey left ahead,” the larger guard says through his chuckles.

“Give us a moment, we aren’t all built for this terrain,” Wanda snaps at him, receiving more snide laughter from the boorish guards. She looks back down at you, her voice softening “are you alright, Y/N?”

You grimace and clench your teeth, but nod as you release your leg and Wanda helps you stand, “will you be able to walk on it?”

You hesitantly place your weight on the leg, and though it does hurt, you know you will be able to handle the pain. You look to her and nod again, “yes, it seems to just be bruised.”

“Here, let me check it,” she says, but you shake your head like a petulant child. She sighs deeply, “Y/N, let me see, I promise I won’t touch it.”

You finally give in and nod, “okay, fine.”

She smiles triumphantly then turns you so your back is facing the guards, kneeling down in front of you and lifting your skirts just slightly, just enough that she can look at the injured leg. “You have a nasty scrape, but that’s all. It could have been much worse,” she says as she stands back up.

“Today, wenches,” the smaller guard yells, their chuckles can no longer be heard, so clearly they are becoming fed up and frustrated with how long you both are taking.

“We’re coming,” you snap this time, becoming increasingly frustrated with them as well. You both start to walk towards the guards as they turn and continue onwards.

After a while of walking—limping in your case—you glance over at Wanda. “How are we going to get out of this?” You whisper to her, making sure to keep your voice low so only she hears you.

“I’ll figure something out,” she whispers back, “we just need to play along for now, and wait for an opportunity to arise.”

“What if they lock us away in their dungeons?”

“Then I’ll break us out,” she whispers confidently.

You furrow your brows, and mumble, “we are both going to die.”

She giggles quietly, “you are such a zoilist.”

You gasp, in feigned outrage and shock at her calling you a zoilist; an overly-critical and judgemental nitpicker. “I am not!” But you can’t stop the laugh that bubbles up at her ridiculous insult. “You are the zoilist!”

You both laugh even harder but then the rope is yanked forward roughly once again, “keep it down back there!”

You glare at the back of the guards heads, wishing you could decapitate them both using just your eyes. But sadly, just as everything else, you weren’t gifted with that skill either. Though... “can’t you just kill them both?” You mumble to Wanda.

“I wish,” she sighs, “but I’m not that strong, nor that fast. If I tried to take one of them out, the other would be on me before I could finish the job. You know my magic is more natural than that. I can grow plants instantly, fix injured animals, but the dark magic that is needed to take a man's life,” she shakes her head, “that I am not versed in.”

You sigh, you did know that. But wishful thinking got the better of you. “You’re right. It wouldn’t be worth the risks.”

“Don’t worry, Y/N, we’ll figure something out. We just have to be smart about it,” she whispers and you nod. Then you both fall into a silence as you follow along, finally coming out of the dense wood and on to a wide path. Clearly one that is heavily used, judging by all the prints and marks in the gravel.

You thank the Gods for it though, as now you can walk a little easier and your leg is no longer being agitated by the uneven and fallen tree littered, forest floor.

A while later, as the sun is just starting to set in the horizon, you look up to see the top of a massive castle up ahead, just over the trees. And your stomach drops with every step closer to the intimidating structure, or more so, your Fate that will be decided within it.

As you slowly make your way closer you feel your throat dry up, and your heart begins to pound rapidly in your chest. Your hands become clammy and your face flushes. These are all reactions you aren’t used to. Yes, you’ve been nervous before, and yes, you’ve had each of these reactions before. But never together. Never all at the same time.

And even though you are terrified of the castle, petrified by what will happen to you inside it. Something in you, something deep, deep down wants you to continue on. Wants you to enter that fortress, and fast. You can’t explain it. You just feel like you were destined to be here, Fated to find this place. To enter it.

Maybe your subconscious knows this is where you die. Where you take your final breath. Yet, that doesn’t seem right. Something in you is trying to tell you that you won’t be dying here today, or any day. No, something very different is going to occur here, in this place. But you just aren’t yet sure exactly what that will be.

The guards pull you away from the entrance to the city, leading you off to the right along the outlying wall. The wall acting as a final line of defence for the buildings, structures and inhabitants of the King’s city. A wall you’d have assumed would’ve been taller, but then again, everyone knew not to enter the King’s land. Everyone except you, clearly.

The wall was short enough that you could see the roofs of the buildings that lay within, and if you squint really hard, you could just see that at the very back of the city, the side furthest from where you currently are, is the castle. Large and imposing as it loomed menacingly, yet protectively over the city. Giving the impression that so long as the castle stood, the city would as well.

Your nerves had dissipated now, being replaced by shear awe, mainly for the fact that you got to lay eyes on this place. You got to see the Warlord King’s home up close, a thing no one outside of his people got to do. Yet here you were, walking around the outside of it. You hoped that you’d get the chance to see inside the walls. Get a chance to explore the city. But you knew that would never happen, you’d just be lucky to make it to tomorrow in one piece.

The guards halted in front of a large set of iron doors, set into the wall. Two guards standing on either side, with swords on their hips and spears in their hands. You glanced over at Wanda, who looked both exhausted and forlorn. She didn’t look at you though, she was too busy watching the guards interact. You shifted your eyes back to them and noticed that not one had spoken so much as a single word. They were all just staring at each other, as if having a non-verbal conversation. Which was odd, for sure.

“Why aren’t they saying anything?” You whisper to her.

She shakes her head, “I don’t know.”

Then, the two guards who had been at the doors when you’d arrived, moved and pushed them open, the large iron doors creaking as they did. Once they were fully open the two guards who had brought you here begin to walk, once again pulling you along with them.

You are dragged down a long, dark and musky stone tunnel. One that clearly isn’t used to welcome castle guests. Not that you assume the King ever has any guests to begin with, what with his sheer hatred for anyone not born in his territory. And even then, you aren’t sure if he even likes the people who are born here.

You continue down the dark, damp tunnel, every 10 feet a torch is attached to the wall, giving just enough light to vaguely see where you’re going. But not enough to be able to make out much else.

After a while you reach a large wood door, with a metal plate in the middle near the top. The larger guard knocks 3 times and a moment later the metal plate falls in, away from you and a set of eyes appears in its place. But once again, not a single word is exchanged. Though you see the head, attached to the mysterious eyes nod, and then the metal plate is flipped back into place, right before the sound of locks echoes off the tunnel walls. And then the door slowly squeaks open, revealing another ridiculously large man behind it. He is smaller than the Guardsmen who brought you here, but still much larger than yourself.

The guards drag you both through the door, and before you know it you are unshackled and then tossed into a cell. And seconds later the cell door is slammed shut, leaving both Wanda and yourself unshackled but locked in a small dark windowless room—if you can even call it that, it’s more like a cellar.

You glance around, your eyes having adjusted to the low lighting during your walk in the tunnel. But even with that said, it is so very dark in here. Your eyes can just barely make out a pile of hay, off in a corner, most likely a makeshift bed, and then there is a bucket in the opposite corner. However, you don’t need to question what the bucket is for, just the smell coming off of it is enough to answer that for you.

You hear the tunnel door slam shut and then you know it’s just Wanda, you and the giant door guard left in here. Well, that and whoever else is currently locked in the cells near you.

Wanda quickly makes her way to the cell door, checking the edges for any faults or weak points. But after a moment of that you hear her heavily sigh and can just barely make out her head slumping forward in defeat. “I don’t know if I’ll be able to break us out of here,” she whispers dejectedly.

You make your way over to her, placing your hand on her shoulder, “don’t say that Wands, if anyone can get us out, it’s you. Have some faith in yourself.”

“You don’t get it,” she shrugs your hand off and turns to face you, not that either of you can make out the others features in the darkness. “I can get us out of this cell, but I won’t be able to take on that guard.”

“Then you work on getting us out of the cell and leave the guard to me,” you say resolutely.

She giggles, “and what are you planning to do, exactly?”

“I haven’t figured that out just yet,” you laugh, “but I’ll think of something.”

She shakes her head, and you can just barely make out the smirk on her lips, “we are so going to die.”

“Now who’s the zoilist?” you chuckle out, earning a scoff in return.

“I just don’t see how you plan to take on that ridiculously large man, let alone best him while you’re at it.”

“O ye of little faith,” you pat her back, “trust me Wands, we are getting out of here. Mark my words.”

“Wanda?” You hear someone yell from the cell beside yours, “Y/N?”

And instantly you know that voice. “Pietro?!” You and Wanda yell at the same time. “Is it really you?!” Wanda begs hopefully.

“What are you two doing here!?”

“We came to find you,” you say back.

“You shouldn’t have done that! What were you both thinking!?” He scolds from his cell.

“And you shouldn’t have entered the King’s land in the first place, Piet,” Wanda scolds right back. She never put up with any of his shit. Ever.

“Gods Wanda, I told you not to come after me if I didn’t return, now we are all going to die here.”

“Hey!” A new voice yells, clearly the guard, “no talking!”

You both huddle into the corner closest to Pietro’s voice, trying to not draw any more unwanted attention to yourselves, as you talk to him.

“Piet, we are going to break out of here,” Wanda starts, “do you think you’d be able to take on the guard?”

“Have you seen the guy!?” Piet scoffs, “he is like 3 of me! I don’t know what they put in the water here, but every person I have seen is insanely large.”

“You saw inside the city?” You quickly ask, curious if he got a glimpse of it or not.

“I did, but I didn’t make it far before they captured me. I sort of stood out like a sore thumb, what with everyone having at least 2 feet on me.”

“Really? They are all that large?” You question.

“Yeah, unhumanly large.”

“That will make escaping much more difficult,” Wanda sighs, “considering we clearly won’t be able to just blend in once we get out of here.”

“No, we wouldn’t,” Piet agrees, “and even if we get passed this guard, there are two others by the iron doors.”

“Gods! I forgot about them!” Wanda shakes her head again, “I don’t think we’ll be able to pull this off.”

“We have to at least try, we don’t have any other choice,” you start then realize something. “Piet, when is your sentencing?”

“At dawn.”

“That doesn’t exactly give us much time to plan,” Wanda murmurs, clearly losing hope.

“No, but I may have an idea,” you say as you lean in towards her, “okay, here’s what I’m thinking.”

Somewhere near, yet far.

“Have you found her yet?” the large man asks from his spot, hiding amongst the shadows of a deep, dark cave.

“No Sir,” a smaller man replies, “but we are still looking.”

“Of course you are still looking!” The larger man bellows, “because I told you not to stop until you found her, didn’t I?”

“You did, Sir,” the smaller man nods quickly.

“Well, then why are you here talking to me right now, instead of out there searching?”

“I only came to inform you that we have found a lead, Sir. She has been spotted in the town of Triskelion.”

“That’s wonderful news,” the larger man nods. “Now stop wasting my time and go find her. She belongs to me, and I won’t have anyone else taking her away from me again.”

“Of course, Sir,” the smaller man nods again, “right away, Sir.” He goes to quickly leave the cave, but just before he does the larger one halts him.

“Oh, and Charan—“ the larger man pauses to clear his throat, “Brock?”

He turns around, “yes, Sir?”

“You remember the price for failing me, yes?”

Brock nods quickly, “I do.”

“You do, what?” He growls.

Brock clears his throat, “I do, Sir.”

“Good. Now be gone before I take my anger out on you,” he threatens coolly as he waves a dismissive hand around.

Brock nods once more then hastily retreats out of the cave. Leaving the larger man alone once again, standing in the darkness, with only his thoughts of her, and his desperate need to have her within his grasp once more. She is his, and she always will be.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

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[wearetakingthehobbitstogallifrey]

MONICA YOU LOVED MANIC TOO??!?!? I'm overjoyed because I've only spoken to one (1) other person who really loved it & I feel so relieved, somehow, that you love it since you're the BEST OF US and what YOU love always gets right to the heart of a thing or a story. ANYWAY. Finally // and I Hate Everybody are my absolute favorites, and don't you think this album is like Ashley's version of Lover??? it's her most honest, and maybe lowest but also sweetest and steadiest album. I'M IN LOVE

YES YES YES YES YES I AM SOOO EXCITED YOU LOVE IT WILL YOU BE MY MANIC BUDDY *SINGS IT’S NICE TO HAVE A FRIEND WHO LOVES HALSEY*

also thank you sincerely and seriously so much for the glowing shoutout

#WONDER WOMAN SPEAKS MY HEART AND ALSO THIS IS SURPRISINGLY (?) RELEVANT TO THE ONCOMING STORM OF AN ESSAY

before I go any further I want to inform you I am drinking hot chocolate and Bailey’s out of my Batman/Catwoman mug and I still have Christmas lights up. This is not relevant to the following essay but I just thought you should know

I should start the essay shouldn’t I

First of all, I LOVE what you say about this being Ashley’s version of Lover. Both are a...finding of self, more or less complete. This isn’t to say that Taylor’s journey is over—she still has a lot of life and song left to fight through and to enjoy—but by the last words of “Daylight,” it seems to me that through all her struggles, she has finally discovered how to be gentle with herself and how to light her world.

I want to be defined by the things I love,

Not the things I hate

Not the things I am afraid of, I’m afraid of,

The things that haunt me in the middle of the

night, I

I just think that you are what you love.

In Lover, through Lover, by Lover, Taylor is whole again in her soul, and being thus whole and free, her future is quietly hopeful—even in the reality of the sorrowful “Soon You’ll Get Better” (which I still cannot listen to because it wounds my heart). I cannot imagine what she will do next, for she has the most expansive possibilities ahead of her.

Going back to Ashley, or Halsey, well, I can say nothing so clear about Manic other than that it aches. It aches because the whole thing is a confession. It is a spilling out of herself, all her hurts and frustrations and failures and most importantly the confusion of it all that lasts till this day and may last many more. Somehow, somewhere, in all this mess, I feel that by the end of the album, Ashley has found a grain of peace. She is still searching, still longing for things she maybe doesn’t even understand, but she understands herself, and, I hope, understands in a small way that it is okay to be in a state of longing and aching and messing up and trying again.

I’m sleepy so I’m not sure I am being coherent or cohesive, forgive me. I’m just going to say a few things about my favorite songs!

“Ashley.” So this wasn’t the first song I listened to, because of the singles released earlier. But how powerful is it that Halsey opens up with her name? There is nothing I like better than an album that tells a story (surprise!) and the instant I saw the track listing, I was shook.

Seems like now it's impossible to work this outI'm so committed to an old ghost townIs it really that strange if I always wanna change?And if only the time and space between us wasn't lonelyI'd disintegrate into a thousand piecesI think I'm making a mistakeBut if I decide to break, who will fill the empty space?

This verse—I don’t know if it is just where I am in my own life, but really, who hasn’t felt this strange rending of desires in some capacity. Cling to the past? Leap toward the unknown? I want to live near my parents forever, and see my mom every Sunday like I have for years now. I want to live in a foreign country, or even out near my old college, or heck even live in a city for year or six months, just because it would be an Experience. (Couldn’t live there indefinitely, not this girl who loves endless trees and hills and warm summer night country roads and rustling corn.)

How do we know what to do? How do we decide? What if we get left alone, with no one to comfort and support us? What if we cannot handle the consequences of our choices?

Apart from my beating heartIt's a muscle but it's still not strong enoughTo carry the weight of the choices I've madeI told you I'd ride this outIt's getting harder every day somehowI'm bursting out of myself

LOOK AT THIS! LOOK AT IT! I DARE YOU TO SAY THIS IS NOT A UNIVERSAL EMOTION. THIS IS WHAT THE ALBUM WILL BE ABOUT SO IF YOU CANNOT OPEN YOUR HEART AND BE PREPARED TO FEEL EMPATHY AND COMPASSION FOR THE YOUNG WOMAN WHO IS ABOUT TO SPILL HER GUTS TO YOU THEN GET OUT OF MY HOUSE

Ahem, I’m sorry, please stay, I don’t actually want you to go. Just sit down and I’ll give you your own hot chocolate. But listen. Ashley is, before anything, a human being. Therefore, she is going to mess up, just the same as any of us, maybe more, maybe less, but that is never going to take away a speck of her intrinsic worth, or the way that God loves her. Her struggles will not obliterate her humanity, but if I ignore her sorrows, her need for something more, her brilliance and strength and longing to love, then I would nigh obliterate my own.

Also, can I just say she has gone through some REALLY hard things in her life, things I couldn’t imagine, and for her to be where she is now—I just want the best for her. Do I agree with everything she does or believes? No. Is my life at all similar to hers? Not really. But I still feel a kinship with her, and it bleeds through in her music.

This is getting away from me isn’t it. I’m just trying to say that Manic struck a chord in my heart that has been reverberating ever since I first perceived it.

Oh gosh it is 12:30, I have to be up at 6. I’m going to fly through a few other songs and then you can message me about the rest or something 😊

“Clementine” has such color, doesn’t it? Also the line about her wondering what it’s like to be the blood in her veins—I love it!

“Graveyard” with the thing you love the most being the detriment—not going to lie, this is a story song for me, it fits into the Gold Rush Silmarillion AU I am co-authoring. Feanor and his own pride, Maedhros and half the people he loves, Fingon and Maedhros—the list could go on.

“You should be sad” and “More” gutted me because I had only just learned she has endometriosis, and has experienced a miscarriage before.

“Forever...(is a long time)”:

It's a nice surprise knowing six feet highWould reach and grab the moon if I should ask

Or just imply that I want you to be more lightSo I could look inside his eyesAnd get the colors just right

And

What am I thinking? What does this mean?How could somebody ever love me?

Self-doubt and questioning one’s ability to be loved ☹

“Without Me” gets stuck in my head and I LOVE IT I SING IT.

Found you when your heart was brokeI filled your cup until it overflowedTook it so far to keep you close (Keep you close)I was afraid to leave you on your own

 Is there anything more painful than giving all of yourself to someone, loving them so much that you do anything to help them heal—and then all they do is hurt you.

“Finally// beautiful stranger” I’m ashamed to say the first time I listened to it I wasn’t paying attention and so I was like eh it’s fine. THEN I LISTENED TO IT AGAIN. WHY IS THIS SONG HALSEY’S “ENCHANTED” (I can probably explain this, but just after I’ve had sleep)

“killing boys” there are a lot of things I could say about this song but the main thing I want to say is if there was a song that is ME regarding the sound of it only, it is this one. When she sings “you don’t need me anymore” and “I don’t need you anymore” OOH IT GETS ME IT’S SO BEAUTIFUL

Also

Told me pick my battles and be picking 'em wiseBut I wanna pick 'em all and I don't want to decideNo more, no more, anymore

THIS IS THAT TUMBLR THING  “MY MOM LIKES TO TELL ME ‘YOU HAVE TO PICK YOUR BATTLES’ WELL I’M FULL OF RAGE AND I’M PICKING ALL OF THEM”

ALSO ALSO GETTING INTO THE LYRICS THIS IS HER MOVING ON, THIS IS HER DECISIVELY SAYING NO THIS NOT RIGHT THIS IS HARMFUL TO ME I AM DONE. AND FOR SOMEONE WHO HAS EXPRESSED UNCERTAINTY AND DIFFICULTY MAKING DECISIONS, IT SO GOOD TO SEE HER MAKE A HEALTHY CHOICE FOR HERSELF

“Suga’s Interlude:” LOOK YOU LOVE BTS TOO SO I’M SURE YOU KNOW THE STORY OF HOW IT CAME TO BE AND YOU KNOW ALL ABOUT BTS AND THEIR RELATIONSHIP WITH HALSEY BUT FOR THE SAKE OF THE READERS LET ME SUM UP

Halsey did a collaboration with BTS called “Boy with Luv” and it shook the charts and is wonderful and I love it. Not only did they create that song though, but she flew out to South Korea and learned the dance choreography so that she could sing and dance in the song’s music video. This was the beginning of a beautiful, cross-language, cross-cultural friendship that has involved friendship bracelets, churros, a personalized microphone, and mutual teasing.

Anyway, Halsey had been really impressed with BTS member Suga, saying “Yoongi is really introspective and has this really intelligent perspective on where we are and what we are doing in our unique lifestyles.” She also was moved by the hard work and sacrifices he (and his fellow band members) have made. Anyway, she asked Suga to write and sing a song with her. He was initially surprised, saying that he can’t rap in English. Halsey, gem that she is, was like bro, pls rap in Korean, that would be awesome. Pardon me for copying half the lyrics for this song but to me it is pivotal in Manic as a whole:

I’ve been trying all my lifeTo separate the timeIn between the having it allAnd giving it up, yeah...

Here is the conflict and strife that Halsey has dealt with all her life—there is fear of loss there, and also fear of what one has. The power it has over you. The way things might go wrong.

I believe your faith, efforts, beliefs, and greed,are not hideous...Although the dawn right before the sun rises is the darkest,Never forget that the stars that you wish for,can only rise within the dark...

Suga reminding himself, Halsey, and us to cling to hope, ragged and worn, even in the most difficult of times. Also—in the face of our insecurities and self-recrimination for the goals we set—he tell us that our deepest parts are valid

If I run endlessly towards the end of the tunnel,what will there beIt’s true, it’s honestly differentfrom the future that I had hoped forBut it doesn’t matter, now it’s a matter of living/survivingIt doesn’t matter what happenedYeah yeah it might bedifferent from the things that you expectedYour living and your loving might changeThat’s true That’s true That’s trueYeah so are you gonna moveWe’re still too youthful and young to hesitateLet’s face it (our lives)...

This, this verse is so important. Look back at the song “Ashley”, particularly the lines I already quoted. Indecision because the fear of what might be, of what failure could do, wrecking her worse than ever, with no one to help her. Indecision because of a nostalgia that might be bitter or softly sad, what was past was at least known. It was good perhaps, it was awful more likely. But it was gotten through. There is no guarantee that Halsey will be able to get through whatever the future holds. But Suga comes in here, having faced struggles similar at their core, and he embodies the Nike slogan. Just DO IT. Don’t hold yourself back. Don’t let yourself drown, stuck in sinking mud. Embrace the unknown. If you let fear hold you back, you are as good as dead. There will be no growth, no hope battling through the dark for something better. You have to MOVE! And maybe you were right, things will never be the same, or the way you want it to be, but MAYBE THE DIFFERENT WILL BE BETTER!!!

Anyway, this section really should have been its own essay, because I’m still not done with it. You may have noticed I have been calling them Halsey and Suga, and the song is indeed called “Suga’s Interlude” but this song is so deep and personal to them both, it feels wrong to use their stage names. This is Ashley speaking, this is Yoongi speaking. Halsey posted a cute, stick figure drawing as artwork for the song, and the two singers are pictured there—and named as Ashley and Yoongi. This song is not just a collaboration by two talented artists, this is a look into the souls of a woman and a man who’ve shed blood, sweat, and tears to become the people they are. This intimacy fits the whole theme of the album so well, I LITERALLY CANNOT

I am so sorry I will move on now. It is 2:00 am. I need to go to bed. I am not. I need to talk about 929.

Well first let me say that “Still Learning” is also super important to the theme of the album.

I know that I've done some wrongBut I'm trying to make it rightDid the one I love do me wrong?Give me up right now

I know that I love you but I'm still learningTo love myself (to love my, to love my, to love my)I'm still learning to love myself (to love my, to love my, to love my)

She has made confessions and declarations and sung her frustration, and now she is moving forward. The road may be long and hard, but she is moving forward. I had something else to say but I forgot it sorry.

And NOW

929!!!!

This song miiiiight be my favorite on the album, not sure. My heart trembles and I get chills listening to it, because the music and her voice are so gentle and soothing but the lyrics are essentially a list of moments that have been needles and knives to Ashley, all her fears revealed, that she wasn’t enough then and she isn’t enough now, that the girl with the pink hair lied when she said that everyone needed Ashley. It’s a soft confession, a stream of consciousness, so it was written and so I hear it. And in this moment, how can I not love her? How can I not cry for her, for me, for anyone and everyone who struggles with self-worth, with being wanted, with being loved, with loving, with forgiving self and others?Halsey is flawed, and I just want to give her extra love because of that.

But you know what? I think she is going to be ok.

This is where I want to go back and compare Manic to Lover. There is this knowledge of the self, a kind of peace with who one is. I don’t mean that either Taylor or Ashley have reached their pinnacle of self, but they see themselves a little more clearly, and are not suppressing that knowledge.

929 sounds like water gently pouring out of a pitcher into a basin, and water, properly placed, does not drown but gives life. There is hope by the end of this song, hope despite her difficult life, hope despite the fact that she was never even telling the truth about her time of birth. (That story could be a despairing one, the “I’m a fucking liar” could be the miniscule mistake that breaks her after all the rest of her mistakes, but instead...I don’t know she just sounds kind of amused, like even if she is disappointed or upset about it, there is still this “oh well, whatever, can’t believe that happened lol” to her voice and laughter. She knows who she is now, and there is a better woman she might be, but she is not angry with herself for being who she is, and she will move forward, letting go of her ghost towns and all her fears.

Let me end with a quote about 929: “I just start spilling all of my thoughts about myself and my fans and my family, and I admit so many faults and flaws all in one go. It’s forgiving, however, it ends with the acknowledgment that I am learning and growing, minute by minute.”

Ashley, like Taylor, is making a new start. They have both found a sort of daylight, and though there may always be shadows, I really really hope that they will know mostly sun, and spread it around for others.

ALSO I JUST REALIZED I COULD NOW BE SOMEONE’S MANIC PIXIE DREAMGIRL :D 

*Disclaimer: I AM SO FREAKING TIRED I AM GOING TO BED, THIS WHOLE THING IS ENTIRELY UNEDITED, ALSO I LEFT SOME SONGS OUT OOPS WELL TWO OF THEM I DON’T CARE FOR AS MUCH BUT I THINK I FORGOT 3 AM WHICH I DO  LIKE BUT I AM NOT GOING BACK TO WRITE ABOUT IT NOW. I APOLOGIZE FOR THE RAMBLING MESS AND LACK OF ELOQUENCE BUT HERE WE BE THIS IS WHAT YOU GET HOPE IT MADE YOU SMILE

[bluesakurablossom]

Forever in Your Arms

Thank you @aurora-the-kunoichi for helping with the title! Check out her stories, they are beyond amazing! :)

After living alone for a whole year after the tragedy in her life, Brayden meets four green warriors being held captive 

CHAPTER 1: Chance Meeting

   A warm breeze flew past the buildings and over hanging clothes on the lines as it swirled up a small trash pile up in the air before it settled back down again. Lights were flashing on and off from the many stores that were still open late and many people swarmed the sidewalks and roads rushing to get to wherever they were going. Above on a rooftop high up from the noisy streets below, Brayden was playing a flute sitting in lotus position playing a song she had been practicing for weeks on end, a song she had heard from an anime she had recently come to known. The first time that sweet melody ran past her ear she was enamored and she wanted to make that same music come alive by her. Her short chestnut brown hair with bangs across her forehead that were tied in a braid going doing to braid beside her cheek, secured with a pin and two rose pink flower clips pinned on either side of her head, flew softly as she continued to play, the wind bringing rhythm to each note. As she played the last verse, she pulled the flute away from her mouth with a soft smile, that was the best practice she had since starting. She only wished that more could of hear her.

Since coming to New York it had been difficult for her. It wasn’t what she wanted to do but had to in order to escape, she didn’t want to leave home. She remembered that very day all too well.

“I guess there is no more left to fight for here”

Brayden stood upon the ruins of her temple in Kyoto, Japan seeing the amount of damage that the fire had caused by their sworn enemies. Only a few burnt and crushed beams only supported what was left standing. What had been her home since she was taken into when she was only five years old, all those memories were now lost in the ashes. The only thing she had were the clothes on her back and her katana strapped to her back in its holster and the tessen that was secured on her hip. In her hand was a walkie talkie that she had somehow managed to keep with her during the mayhem and was talking into it, even though she had known there was no one on the other end.

“What we had fought so hard to keep out, made its way in. That slim chance we thought we could still keep fighting, but now it’s all about slim chances”

She had stood on the edge of the stairs that made its way down to the village below, looking at it with a frown. “I tried so hard to keep everyone together and keep our home safe, I tried sensei, I tried….”

The memory of fire flooded her mind, everywhere she looked fire kept her from escaping as she fought against the enemy with the amount of strength she had left in her with ferocity with her katana.

“I don’t know if you can hear me, I really hope you can, I hope so…”

She rummaged through the pile and was able to pull a few kunai that were left undamaged by the flame and placed them securely on her thigh in a holster and had found a golden jade stone ring that was one of her most valued treasures in the soot and carefully blew away the debris and placed it on her right ring finger. “No one had survived this…the last survivor I had found had past…day before last…it was his choice, I wouldn’t say I blame him…he had lost his strength…it was just too much. I know you have told me about this would happen one day as long as I could understand. I knew it would happen, but I only wanted to believe that it wouldn’t.”

Tears streamed down her face as she was squatted down what was where her room was, since she was brought to the temple. How it made her feel safe, loved, protected, and felt at home where she could flourish. “I didn’t think I would have to leave here, but it’s bringing me what I don’t want. Before I had escaped, I met one of the enemies, he told me that I have something that they want. He told me….”

She had released the button, pausing for a moment on what to say but quickly pushed it again. “Look it doesn’t matter, what matters is I am moving on, Japan is done for me, I am going to try New York City in the States. I am facing a very hard and long journey ahead of me, maybe even harder and longer than the ones I have already been through. But it’s not something I can’t do right? Over six thousand miles of traveling, that’s what facing me and I am trying hard not to lose faith that I can escape and stay hidden. And I know I can’t, it would be letting you, our comrades, and our family down. Its only me now, and I am on my own. Maybe I will find allies along the way, ones that I will protect and lay down my life if needed so be and maybe they might just do the same for me. Be careful out there sensei, I hope you and if anyone made it out with you are okay. Stay off the roads, keep moving, keep your eyes open and please just stay safe. Maybe you and I will see each other in the States someday. Brayden….signing off”

Brayden took one last glance at her home before turning her back to it and making that first step down the stone steps to start her new journey. A journey that she only hoped would bring goodness, and a way that she could leave this dark event behind her.

“You would have been so proud father”

Brayden stood from her spot and looked towards home that seemed so safe but yet seemed so empty and lonely. She had missed being able to socialize, but with anyone that could be an enemy and give away her position forced her to become reclusive. She wished that there was someone there to be there for her, it’s hard to be alone for so long. She made her way down to her open window of her small apartment and thought about going out for the evening, she had to get her mind off of everything. Reaching into her closet she pulled out a black shoulder-less shirt with rose pink stripe going around it off a hanger tossing it on the bed before slipping off her grey tank top and putting on the new garment. After making sure her hair and makeup was decent enough she slipped on her black combat boots over her rose pink pants, she had made her way out the door grabbing her tessen and katana off from the coffee table locking up her place.

It was a warm and beautiful night, reminding her of what life was like when she had long night walks in the forest. Where she could escape everything and recuperate with meditation, the sounds of the night were her music and she could do it for hours, just enjoying what nature had to give her. But the city was far from what she had been used to, but she had no choice, it seemed like her safest bet to escape the demons of her past. She only wished that it didn’t have to come to that battle on that tragic night, she knew what they were after and she wouldn’t let them have it. And for that, it cost her home and her family. A long sigh escaped her lips as she didn’t even bother to see where she was going down the street, she wanted her life back and to get out of this loneliness she has been to succumb to for a year.

Without warning, passing through a quiet dark alley, a swift pain struck her head and an electric jolt stabbed into her lower back causing her body to ache and twitch at the every jolt coursing through her body as she slammed to the ground. Her eyes twitched as she tried to focus her vision and the only thing that she could see was walking shadows of legs coming to her before she blacked out.

Pain was the first thing that she felt when she felt her consciousness come forward. She could feel her head pound hard with pain like someone had taken the back of a hammer and smashed it in the back of her skull throbbing. She was feeling her knees buckling under her weight threatening to fall, like every bone in her body was becoming jelly. What had just happened she didn’t know and she knew something was about to happen. When she felt her vision come to focus a bright searing light blinded her vision, scrunching her eyes to protect them from the torture. She tried to blind it with her arms but heard the sound of shackles holding her arms out beside her head, rendering her helpless. “What the hell?”

She tried to grip at the cuffs around her wrists and yank to free herself, but the bolts were deep in the concrete. A low growl escaped her lips as she squinted her eyes just enough to see a shadow come forward, blocking the light till it went out relieving her of the annoyance. She could now see she was in a cell dark and cold, only two doors can be seen with bars behind the shadow. She could tell this was a prison or something of that, like a heavy weight hitting her stomach she only hoped it wasn’t where she had been before many years ago. Her mind was trying to quickly put the pieces together on why she was here and how she got herself into this mess, she only remembered walking down the street and could feel a sharp pain on the back of her head and a jolt on her lower back.

Her right cheek began to sting and she leaned her head to the side of her shoulder to where she could feel fresh scratches on the skin, she must have been dragged into that alley. Although the city wasn’t where she wanted to go, she found parts of it very beautiful, the parks, the sunrises and sunsets, the wildlife. But seeing how people behaved here than back at home was something different. Treating one another as if they were their own enemies, being rude and demanding. Some would just have the nastiest remarks or comments towards anyone that they didn’t understand. What was this world coming to if they just kept it up, it would be nowhere and no one would survive anything. If only she could reshape it to where there was no more and reset the planet to where it was peaceful and safe.

She knew how to escape from what she was in my heart, but she just couldn’t. What was inside her was the most horrifying thing that she had ever seen and she didn’t want to repeat what had happened all those years ago. She would have to find a different way in order to survive. As much as it angered her on why anyone would do such a thing to her when she was simply minding her own business, she wanted to use her weapon but held herself at bay.

The shadow came forward and it revealed an older man in a black long sleeve and black pants came strolling up in front of her. His hand gripped her chin and jaw with tenderness but she could see in his eyes that this man was a monster. She growled and shook her head away from his touch letting her one uncovered eye give him a warning look. The smirk on his face indicated that he thought she wasn’t going to go down easily, but she had this one, she was waiting for the right moment.

After a moment she heard him chuckle. “Didn’t think I would have the chance to actually meet the one who supposedly has the strongest power in human kind, just so happened to be right here in New York”

His voice intimidating and evil and she was starting to let her anger boil, almost to where she wanted to use her weapon. His hand went towards one of the rose clips in her hair that somehow managed to stay clipped on hiding who she was. When his fingers nearly gripped at the ribbon her knee shot up targeting his stomach causing him to scrunch over, not prepared for her attack. ���Fuck you, whoever you are!”

He slowly stood up after taking a few harsh breathes to regain his composure. “Yet even with what you possess you still don’t use it, you must be waiting to use it when its right aren’t you?”

She held a strong look and grunted. “Who are you and what the hell do you want?”

He suddenly let the back of his head slap across her injured cheek the sting adding more pain, soon to be followed by swelling. “I would watch your lip if I were you, don’t think we don’t know who you are”

“Some random attack on a young woman? Some human being you are” She scoffed gritting her teeth tugging on her restraints, unbeknownst to this man in front of her she felt them coming looser with her strength and she smirked internally

Suddenly the door to her cell came open with a burst and two men dressed in all black came rushing in behind the man. “Sacks, the freaks of nature they are coming around again and were near close to breaking out!”

“Freaks of nature?” She looked at the men with confusion, before the man now known as Sacks looked at them “You fools! Sedate them again and make sure they are heavily sedated this time! I have waited over 15 years for this and I am not going to let them escape again, tighten their restraints and drain every last ounce of blood of out them, no mercy”

The soldiers nodded quickly before disappearing outside the cell leaving her and Sacks alone yet again. “We have ways of tracking our enemies and why I would want to get what you have coursing through your blood right now, I have other plans that I need to tend to” His voice with more intimidation as he closed the space between them whispering in her ear as she fought the sudden urge to use her power, but she calmed herself before headbutting him in the face suddenly, causing him to yell out in pain. He bent over holding his face with his hands before suddenly looking at her with a dripping bloody nose and lip

“Whoever you say these freaks of nature are, you won’t do anymore to them, when I get out of this, you won’t live much longer so I would start counting the minutes you have left” Growling low she didn’t blink once

He glared at her and she didn’t even flinch, she wasn’t going to let this man hurt her, not like the many that have done to her when she was younger. “Karai!”

The door once swung open and a woman with her jet black hair came up with a sword behind her back, glaring at the girl, Brayden felt her escape was coming at any given second as her restraints were finally loose enough to break free at the right moment. “Yes Sacks?”

“Take care of the young lady and give her my special treatment once you are done playing with her, I have got a taste for turtle soup tonight, after I clean up this blood” He held part of his nose with his hand as he glared back at Brayden before leaving the room

“Turtles?” She thought to herself, maybe they were the freaks of nature that the soldiers were talking about earlier, once the door shut she came face to face with the woman, not speaking a word. The woman came up laughing darkly removing the sword that was behind her back letting the tip of the blade drag and spark on the concrete floor

“Once we have what you got, there will be no stopping us, but don’t worry we will make your death nice and slow” Brayden knew she was going to torture her before sedating her, foolish humans they are so predictable. “Oh I don’t think so Karai, I think its you who’s death will be nice and slow”

She suddenly yanked her restraints from the concrete wall with the cuffs still attached to her wrists making Karai beam with disbelief and confusion. Brayden whipped the chain around the sword snatching it right out of her grasp before whipping her other arm up snapping it across Karai’s face, causing blood to spit out from her mouth before she ran at her, roundhouse kicking her on the side of the head making her slide across the floor hitting her head, going into a state of unconsciousness.

Brayden sighed shaking her head before releasing her hands from the cuffs and wrapping the chains tightly around the unconscious woman tightly before locking her in the cell. “Fun’s over for you…idiot”

She found her katana and tessen behind a locked glass case before using her forearm to smash it open placing the weapons in their appropriate holsters. She ran down the hall to where she could hear noise as she peeked through a plastic curtain and she could see four giant shadows in the distance. She forced herself back when she saw two people come her way before hearing their footsteps fade away and go out another curtain. Brayden went to the first concrete pillar climbing up it and crawling on her hands and knees across the beams to get a better look at the shadows. When she heard groaning she stopped and curled up against a pillar at the top to peek around to see four huge glass containers, holding four green large turtles, but these turtles didn’t look like any turtles she had seen before.

They were on two legs instead of four and they looked more human and you looked to see two men in lab coats push a button and a red substance come filling up a tank and her eyes followed to wear smaller tubes were poked into the turtles wrists and ankles. They were draining their blood! When the men in lab coats got closer she pounced as silent as a predatory cat and before they could scream she smashed their heads together before spinning them around smashing them into a table, letting papers and other materials scatter. She dragged the men away towards a small room with the machine humming that supposedly was taking their blood and shoved them in breaking the handle to prevent escape. Her anger spiked at the fact that anyone could do such a horrible act of crime, what was wrong with this species?

Once her thoughts settled, she turned her attention to the turtles inside the containers, her mind began to wonder at the four strange beings as she circled around them till she was center in front of them. She noticed something reflecting off the glass of the blue turtle’s container and she looked behind her to see weapons in a locked case like hers, maybe they could use these to escape. Using her handle of her katana, she smashed open the case and sheathed each weapon on her body securely.

“Where have I seen this before?” Her mind began to wonder till she could think as she looked at the turtles in the cages before remembering a scroll she had gotten in Little Tokyo and hearing a story from the shop’s owner about Yokai, they were supernatural monsters or demons in Japanese folklore, but they were said to be mischievous but could bring good fortune to those who encounter them. From the looks of them they didn’t look mischievous, well in the state they were in right now they didn’t. Maybe if she helps them it could bring her good fortune.

“I hope the legend was right”

She made her first step, being as quiet as she can not to startle them, she wasn’t sure how long they have been sedated for but from the looks of it, it must be a long time for their bodies to be very limp. Neither one noticed her approaching as she made her way closer. Each of them had a different color mask around their heads. Blue, red, purple and orange. The one in red was the biggest and looked like he might have been on steroids from his size, the one in purple seemed the skinniest but still muscular, the one in orange was the smallest but was still muscular. The one in blue was just in between the size and strength of the one in red and purple. They were gagged and restrained tightly with sharp needles piercing through their skin. But as she got closer, she could see the extent of the torture that this Sacks character has done to them. Burn marks littered their bodies, open cuts from scalpels and other instruments seeping blood, and bruises starting to turn black and purple. The restraints that held them the same way she was, seemed to pull at their limbs tighter making it look painful to move an inch, the inhumanity was overwhelming her. They didn’t look like the Yokai she had seen in the scroll but it was close, but these boys looked very much in pain and distraught. If this Sacks character was after them and wanting to kill them, she was not going to allow that to happen.

“Oh my god….” She stepped up to the blue turtle and stepping to her side she used the side of her arm to smash open the glass to where she could reach inside and open the door. He didn’t even flinch at the sound, she felt her heart starting to pound faster, was she too late?

She slid the door open and stepped inside, he was huge compared to her figure, how was this possible she had no idea, but she could only let her mind wonder with curiosity and amazement seeing the giant turtle in front of her. The ball gag that was around his mouth was causing him heaving breathing and struggle, as saliva was starting to drip from his mouth. She let her hand gently touch his head and she could hear slight moaning, relieving her fear that he was dead. Her other hand joined his cheek gently caressing it as his head began to sway side to side. “Come on, you can do it…”

His head titled up to where she could see his face properly, his eyes slowly fluttering open. Mystifying blue eyes greeted her and they were prettiest eyes she had ever seen, they were beautiful. Her eyes never blinked once. His eyes were confused at first looking around but when they meet hers, they widen swiftly. He flinched back from her touch but her fingers covered his lips to quiet him. “Shhhhh it’s okay, I am not here to harm you, can I take this off of you? If you promise not to scream”

He looked at the young girl in front of him, after his eyes focused for a few seconds he could see that she was no enemy. She was beautiful, with a heart shaped face with rosy cheeks, heart shaped lips and grey eyes with a hint of blue. He hadn’t seen that eye color before but boy was it beautiful. Her face was showing nothing but concern and worry, but didn’t show an ounce of fear upon his appearance. But his mind came to the position quickly, he had to get out of there, his brothers and him had to escape. He nodded to her slowly and she reached behind the gag and snapped it loose as she tossed it away. He sighed in relief letting himself take a few breathes of fresh air and moistening his lips with his tongue. “What happened? What’s going on?”

The sound of his voice, it was smooth and gentle, like the ocean she had once explored. It was beautiful just like his eyes. “Did they do this to you?”

His winced in pain as he scrunched up and she looked up to her left to see the restraints digging into his flesh. Quickly she pulled out her tessen and sliced at the restraints holding his arms as he collapsed on his knees rubbing the pain from his shoulder. His wrists red and almost due to the restraints his skin was being dug in. She made quick slicing at his legs restraints as she got on the floor kneeling in front of him resting a hand on his head and shoulder. Dear god this turtle was in pain and she knew from the looks of him, he was in dire straights and needed help. “Did this Sacks character do this to you?”

He looked up to her and nodded slowly. “Yes, but my brothers are they alright? Are they okay?”

“From what I saw they are alive, barely, we won’t survive much longer if we don’t get out of here now, I will help you escape, we have to hurry”

Leo struggled to get to his feet as she stood up pushing his huge arm draping over her, it was huge! It could easily crush her. “Come on you can do it”

Steadying him till he was able to stand he looked to her. “When we get out of here, I want to know who you are, can you make me that promise too?”

She nodded firmly. “Fair deal, now come on we don’t have much time”

Going opposite directions, Leo went to his brother Raphael kicking open the glass with a roundhouse kick, just like she had said they were alive but barely and he could still see the fresh burn marks from the electric prods from earlier on his flesh, they were deep and almost going to the muscle. It could of easily caused permanent damage and he shook his brother awake by the shoulder as he worked on slicing the restraints with a spare kunai from his waist. “Damn what happened?” Raph pulled the rubber gag from his mouth spitting out to his side

“Much has, but we are getting out of here” Leo worked to get his legs free as his brothers eyes looked towards the girl using her elbow to break the glass door and finished kicking the rest of it till it broke getting inside where Mikey was inside. “Who’s the babe?”

“Later Raph, no time for that”

Mikey coughed a few times as she freed him as he leaned against her for support. “You’re alright, come on” She grunted getting him out of the cage till she was able to sit him down on the floor and he looked up to her seeing her take part of roll of bandages on a near by table and wrap open an open wound on his right thigh

“Am I dead cause I think I saw a pretty girl holding me? And now she is taking care of me”

“We ain’t dead numbnuts, not yet at least” Raph grunted trying to walk down from the cage holding his left leg up in his hand

“Where are we exactly?”, Brayden looked around to see if there was any signs of sight but there was no windows in this torture lab

Leo helped his other brother Donnie out from his cage as he wobbled out hanging on to Leo for support as he blindly tried to reach for something on the top of his head. Leo noticed something on the table and quickly reached for the item handing it to him. Letting his fingers rub over what it was Donnie brought it up to his face feeling his glasses putting them on. Once regaining his vision, he looked around to see the familiar sight that they were in a few years ago. “Looks like we are at the Sacks estate, just like before”

“You guys been here before? Do you know the way out?”

“Yes, but I am afraid without our weapons we can’t get out of here”

She then remembered the ones she had on her that she found. Pulling from behind her back a bo staff and pulling out a pair of sai. “These be it by chance? I found them after I escaped the room I was in”

Their eyes widen at the sight and she threw the weapons up in the air as the red and purple turtle caught them before sheathing them as she threw the nunchucks and two katanas up in the air as the orange and blue turtle caught them. She couldn’t help but be in awe when she saw the blue turtle catch his katanas flipping them over his wrists before sheathing them behind his shell. Just like how she can, he did it with such precision and skill, she couldn’t but blush in her cheeks. They jumped from the torture lab and down to the main floor where there was nothing but concrete pillars and two metal doors off in the distance on either side

“What is the meaning of this? Why does he have you all here?”

“Long story, but we need to leave now” Leo looked at her with a firm grip on her shoulder but as they were about to turn to leave, many soldiers had jumped down and many came from each pair of doors surrounding them with swords and some carrying electric prods. The turtles and girl pushed close together, shells touching each other. “We are surrounded” The orange one whispered softly as she let her hand touch his arm

“Don’t show fear, be strong, they sense it”

They heard footsteps from above their heads and she noticed Sacks and the now unchained Karai, looking battered and bruised from her confrontation right beside him. Brayden stepped away from the circle and began to walk up till she was closer to them.

“Why are you helping them?” Sacks looked at her with curiosity and innocence

She stopped in her tracks and stood stiff as a board shielding the brothers from his view on them. “What’s so wrong with that haven’t I been one of your targets all along?” Her voice deep and angry, her grip on her tessen was enough to cause her fingers to almost turn chalk white

He laughed out loud. “That’s good you seem pretty confident”

Her eyes darkened as she pulled her tessen from his waist letting it unsheathe. “Look I don’t want any more trouble as it is, your clan has already destroyed home, and I won’t let you hurt myself anymore than what you have caused nor them”

The turtles beamed at the girl, they barely even knew her and already she was defending them from their worst enemy. Leo noticed she looked so bold and confident in her stance and she had a firm grip on her weapon of choice. She seemed so innocent when he first saw her but now, she looked ready for a fight, the fire in the corner of her eyes was bright and raging. “One tough girl you are, even after all that we did to you, you are impressive, and even not knowing these freaks of nature you protect them! Get them back and gladly do more harm than before you kill them!”

The Foot rushed everywhere towards the turtles and Brayden, making them entrapped in a circle of soldiers. Unsheathing from her katana from behind her back she charged at the first two soldiers who came at her. The battle was intense, the fighting over here in the states was just as brutal as the attack in Japan. She launched herself at a soldier who was about to get at Leo from behind with an electric prod, swinging her leg kicking him across the room till he hit the wall falling unconscious. He noticed the soldier after he fell and looked to Brayden behind her giving her a smile. “Thanks”

“Don’t mention it”, She gave him a confident smirk back

She screamed swinging her blade slicing a sword clean off its handle in a soldier’s hand and kicked him in the chest knocking him backwards. The intensity of the battle was starting to get more than what the turtles was going to take and Brayden knew they were struggling and had to have a backup plan. Their muscles were slowing down and their moves were getting more harder to defend themselves. She noticed the east side metal doors to her side and she took a ninja star and threw it against a pillar till it sliced through the control panel causing it to break open. “Guys! Fall back! Right hand side door! Go!”

The turtles noticed the escape route and began to run for it with Brayden coming right behind them, everyone rushing out into the hallway till they made it outside towards a helicopter pad, and jumped over the walls. The soldiers would be catching up to them very quickly. “What will we do? They are right on our asses” Mikey looked back frantically towards the open doors

Brayden looked around till her eyes spotted something in the distance and noticed a small cave of snow that would be big enough to hide nearby. “Hurry this way!”

She pushed through the turtles as they followed her frantically trying their hardest not to slip on the steep slope of snow till they reached the mouth of the cave. “Boys you have to do exactly what I say, hide in there, squeeze in tight, I will draw them away from here”

“Are you crazy?! They will kill you, we can’t let that happen!” Leo looked at her like she was giving herself a death wish

“Listen listen, they don’t get winded easily by the looks of it, but I know what their weakness is, I will be able to deal with them and be able to protect the four of you”, Brayden held on to his forearm gripping it firmly

They looked unsure at her till they could hear the sounds of vehicles and running feet approaching fast. “This isn’t your fault, please trust me, survive for me you understand?”

Leo looked back towards his brothers and began to push them inside the cave. “Move go! Hurry!”

The boys managed to all squeeze into the cave, it was a tight fit, but it was enough to conceal them. “If I don’t make it back, run away as far as you can, there is a manhole cover two miles down the slope that can hide you, get underground as soon as I lead them away. Keep the sun on your right shoulder” She looked to them giving them a reassuring look, but can see the fear in the blue turtle’s eyes seeing her risking herself for the sake of him and his brothers. Once he heard the sound of feet over the cave, the brothers scooted back as far as they could being extremely quiet as Brayden backed up giving a few soldiers cold glares. “Well come on then if you want a fight”, She took a handful of snow throwing it up to the soldiers with swords and prods

They only scooted a bit closer and she started to back up slightly. “Come on you son of a bitch! Come on!” The soldiers reacted and started to chase after her as she kicked off running sliding down the slope forcing the soldiers to chase her down. Many more soldiers followed in pursuit and a few rushing vehicles went over the cave, nearly threatening to crush the turtles inside, almost causing them to panic and make their location known. Soon after a few moments all was quiet and Leo cautiously poked his head out from the cave keeping a firm grip on his sword in case of any sudden attack before making his way out. His ninjas senses heightened as he looked around and could sense no one was there but them. He gave a hand signal to his brothers behind his shell as they started to make their way out. “Who the shell was that?”, Mikey swiped off some snow from his shoulder

“She was a badass that’s all I can say”, Raph spun his sai in his hand before sheathing it

“Why would she help us? She doesn’t even know us Leo”, Donnie looked around on his scanner to see where the manhole cover she had mentioned with his goggles to see what way they had to trek through the snow

“I don’t know” Leo looked in the direction the girl had disappeared to, she didn’t show fear whatsoever in the eyes of the enemy that could easily kill with one move, she was so skilled, cunning and confident, she must be a ninja from her skills and weapons “But we need to know if she will be alright, let’s get to the bottom”

[365daysofsasuhina]

[ 365 Days of SasuHina || Day One Hundred Forty-Five: Ridiculous Statement ] [ Uchiha Sasuke, Hyūga Hinata, Hyūga Hiashi ] [ SasuHina ] [ Verse: Divine Light ] [ AO3 Link ]

Word, apparently, travels fast.

They’ve only been in the capital city a few months when the little procession arrives. Plans to rebuild the elemental council have scarcely begun. Hinata’s barely even made up her mind to stay and begin learning the necessary politics to - once she’s ready - become the dignitary of Auquiana’s disciples.

How they found her, Sasuke really isn’t sure.

All he does know, is that while out practicing his swordsmanship stances, a carriage clickity-clacks along the stone streets toward the Luxerian palace. Brow drawing - they hardly expect any visitors - he watches before sheathing his blade and moving to intercept as they pull around the curved drive to the front steps.

Alongside the carriage are several riders on horseback, the beasts dancing a bit with nerves.

He has a feeling he knows why.

Standing at the base of the stairs, Sasuke folds his arms, eyeing the buggy warily. From within emerges a man, and genuine surprise pulls the Uchiha’s face taut.

...it’s Hiashi. Hinata’s father. The one she ran away from in secret all those months ago when they began this journey.

The water mage stands upon the small step up haughtily, looking over the palace with an unreadable gaze tinged with several flickering emotions Sasuke can’t begin to decipher. But he gets the impression Hiashi’s seen it before.

...but that means…?

“Where is my daughter?”

Facade smoothed once more, Sasuke - at first - doesn’t answer. “...name?”

“You know damn well who I am,” the elder elf spits, descending to the street. “Hiashi of the Hyūga. Pureblood descendent of those who first accepted the water elemental Auquiana’s blessing.” He gives Sasuke an appraising look, not bothering to hide his disdain. “...and you are?”

“Sasuke, line Uchiha. Pureblood of Ignitrios.”

“Tch, fire...how typical. Of course you stand in my path.”

“What makes you think your daughter is here?”

“She was spotted by men I’ve sent in search of her. And don’t play dumb with me, young man. They reported your visage, too. As well as your brother’s, and the lux mage. Don’t bother trying to lie to me. Now where is she?”

“If she wishes to speak to you, she’ll do so. If not, you’ll have to live with the disappointment,” Sasuke retorts, tone just as challenging.

“How dare you…? She is my daughter!”

“And perfectly capable of making her own decisions. If she doesn’t wish to see you, you can’t force her.”

A vein ticks in Hiashi’s temple, mouth opening to argue. But he comes up short, eyes flickering up over Sasuke’s head.

Glancing back over his shoulder, he sees the rest of his party descending the steps.

“That’s enough, Father,” Hinata calls, skirts pulled up with a hand as shoes clack along the stone stairs. “Sasuke’s right. Stop yelling at him!”

“Young lady,” Hiashi begins, tone like ice. “Do you have any idea what you’ve done?”

“I do,” she responds, tone firm. “I left behind a home that was no longer my home, and a father who refused to let me f-follow my destiny.”

“You ran away from home! Without a word! I’ve sent man after man to follow your trail, and now that I’ve finally found you, you refuse me?”

“I will, if you will not respect me.”

Hiashi actually retreats half a step in shock, gazing up at his daughter’s unwavering stare.

Clearly, he’s realizing she’s not the timid girl that left home so long ago.

“...all I have seen, and all I have learned, since leaving your home...has changed me. I’m not a doll for you to pose and control. I won’t be refused my path any longer, Father. I’ve learned about ven - about my element! I can control it now. It speaks to me. Just like it spoke to Mother -”

“Ven and its arts are what got your mother killed!” Hiashi cuts in.

“Fear and prejudice are what killed my mother. And I’ll bow to it no longer. I am not a child, Father. I’m forging my own destiny. And it’s here. With the new elemental council.”

“Are you mad…? What a ridiculous statement! The council has been dead for hundreds of years! Since the coup that broke it!”

“The coup that unfolded in this very city,” the lux mage cuts in, stepping further. “...in this very palace. Which led to the sealing and petrification of the Luxerian capital, until the return of one of their disciples. And here I am. The time for hiding and fear is over, Hiashi. The elemental council will be reborn. Balance will be found again. And the mor’el’ven and mor’el’kor will stop their cold war and return to peace.”

“...you’re delusion, the lot of you,” the aqua mage scowls. “All you’re doing is exposing our kinds to the threat of open war. The el’kor will never listen. They fear us. Hate us for our magic. For our bonds with the Elementals. Elementals that abandoned us!”

“Because we abandoned them!” Hinata retorts. “Ven was n-never meant to be used as a weapon. Not like it was after the coup. We forgot the ways of peace and balance the Elementals taught us...and for that, we were punished. They left us...but I know they’ll return.”

“You know nothing -”

“Do you know what happened to Mother the night she died?”

Hiashi goes silent.

“...she heard Auquiana. Heard their voice. Accepted their embrace. And through her, they shaped their ven to combat the enemy. It’s why Mother suddenly surged in power. Why she was able to destroy the foes that pursued us. Why we got away. She gave up her life for us...and that selflessness - that need - is what brought Auquiana to her. She became a vessel for their power. They have not left us…! If we return to the old ways - if we revive our cultures, our paths of peaceful unity with our elements - they will return.”

For a long moment, the Hyūga patriarch is quiet. Eyes flicker as he thinks, the memory clearly playing in his mind as he tries to find an argument.

But there’s none to be had.

“...the time of division is over, Father,” Hinata murmurs. Stepping up beside Sasuke, she gently takes his hand, threading their fingers in an inarguable symbol. “Our people will be brought out of hiding. Out of the darkness. The light has returned - the lux mages are not extinct as we feared. With her help, we will unite the twelve elements again. We will free the el’ven people. And I plan to remain and help. I will help guide and coalesce the disciples of Auquiana.”

“You…?”

“Yes.”

Hiashi studies his daughter, expression again unclear. But slowly, recognition colors his gaze.

“...you truly are your mother’s daughter. Were she here...she would argue the same case. She always was a dreamer…” He sighs, head bowing. “...it will be dangerous. The attention this will attract…”

“We’re ready for it,” Sasuke then says, drawing Hiashi’s gaze. “The council isn’t the only thing returning.”

Umber brows furrow...and then lift as a distant sound echoes. A great whistling cuts through the air. Through the sky streaks a white glimmer, the horses rearing in full-blown panic as the lux dragon flutters down into the courtyard, feathered wings buffeting the grass.

“The dragons, too, are heeding our call. They can feel the same change we feel. This one has remained, waiting diligently, for a disciple of Luxeria to return. And now she s-stands beside us. More will come. Drach, mor...the hidden kinds no longer have to hide. The world is changing, Father...and I want to be there when it does.”

Staring at the beast in awe, the last of Hiashi’s argument seems to crumble. “...what can I do?”

“Spread the word. Tell everyone you know - all the mor’el’ven - that the Luxerian capital no longer slumbers. The council is regathering. The future is quivering in anticipation. We must rise to meet it.”

Dragging his eyes back to his daughter, the pair lock gazes, communicating silently.

“...your mother would be proud of you. And I...am proud of you, too.”

Hinata jolts, eyes widening as her father turns, retreating into his carriage.

“I will return home. Gather the el’ven I know. I’m sure the winds will carry the news. When I am able...I will see you again.”

Still shocked, Hinata can only nod as the group retreats back down the cobbled road.

Behind them, Itachi and the lux mage exchange a glance before retreating inside.

“...did...did that really just happen…?”

“I think it did,” Sasuke replies softly. “...you were amazing.”

“My heart was p-pounding - was it obvious?”

“Not at all. You spoke your mind. Stood up for what you believed in.” Turning to her, Sasuke smiles softly, a hand tucking hair behind her pointed ear. “...you really have grown, Hinata. When we first met, you’d never have made a speech so rousing.”

Her cheeks dust pink, head ducking.

“Then again, I’d hope you could. Soon you’ll be doing that quite often once you represent your element.”

“...at times, I still can’t believe it,” she breathes. “It all seems to be happening so fast…”

“...well, you’ll not be doing it alone.”

Her gaze snaps back to him. “...you mean -?”

“I’m going to stay. Guess Hiashi’s not the only one you convinced,” Sasuke teases lightly, pressing lips to her brow. “Besides, you’ll need a little fire to boil your water until you learn to do it on your own, eh? But maybe you’re better at it than I thought.”

“...maybe I am.”

     *flops* Guh, tired...I'll be brief.      More DL, woo! This crossover's not the most well-received, but...this prompt gave me like NO ideas, so this was the best I could come up with, lol - Hinata and Hiashi finally break down and have a talk they've been needing to have for...a long time. But it could only happen now, with Hinata having grown as much as she has.      And Sasuke's right beside her, but...this time around, she handled it pretty well on her own x3      Anywho, I've got a long day ahead of me tomorrow, so time to call it a night. Thanks for reading!

[dailyaudiobible]

01/25/2020 DAB Transcript

Genesis 50:1-Exodus 2:10, Matthew 16:13-17:9, Psalms 21:1-13, Proverbs 5:1-6

Today is the 25th day of January, welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I am Brian it's great to be here with you at the end of another one of our weeks. And this is actually the final weekend of the first month of the year. So, well done. And as we end this week there's also another special line that we’re gonna cross. Today, we will conclude the first book of the Bible, the book of Genesis and then begin the book of Exodus. So, well done! And let's get to it. Let’s conclude the book of Genesis and then we'll talk about the book of Exodus as we begin it. But first, Genesis chapter 50, which is the final chapter of the book. And we’ll conclude the story of Joseph.

Introduction to the Book of Genesis:

Okay, so that concludes the book of Genesis and the book of Genesis concludes with the conclusion of the story of Joseph. So, what we have started at the very beginning, right, when we started on January 1st, the first words of the Bible were, “in the beginning.” So, we started at the beginning, we got a glimpse of how things were always intended to be for us. We saw how that got blown apart. We saw separation from God be introduced into the human story and then we watched humans try to use the knowledge of good and evil to essentially glorify themselves so that they could be their own God, which is what the serpent essentially tried to promise them, but we watched that disintegrate and fall apart completely until everyone's heart was evil and the world was flooded, which took us to the story of Noah. As we continued to journey forward, we met a man named Abram whose…his name was changed to Abraham and he entered into a covenant with God. God selected Abram changed his name to Abraham and then said, “I'm starting over with you. I'm going to create a people set apart unto me on this earth among all of the other people who bear my image, but who have rejected me and embraced separation. Through you. I'm going to create a people set apart as mine and through you will be the light to the world and all the nations will be blessed.” So, in other words God’s saying, “we’ve tried a few things but this knowledge of good and evil inside the heart of man is corrupting him utterly. So, I'm going to create a people of my own through Abram, Abraham. So, Abraham didn’t have any kids. We know that. He had a child in his old age, the son of promise named Isaac. And we went through all of that story. Isaac then had sons, Jacob and Esau. We went through that story of conniving and deception by Jacob and it certainly was revisited upon him. He did reap what he sowed but in the end Jacob's name became Israel. Alright. And, so, his children then are the children of Israel of which Joseph was one of them. And Joseph was trafficked into Egypt as we know. But that is how the children of Israel got to Egypt. And, so, we close Genesis at that point. Now we’re about to pick up the second book of the Bible.

And Exodus picks up this very same story, we’re just moving centuries into the future as we pick it up. So, these original children of Israel, the actual children who became tribes of Israel had...had certainly died. We’re centuries into the future, but their offspring had flourished in Egypt. They had become as numerous as the stars in the heavens, which is what God promised Abraham. But this flourishing that was happening was happening in Egypt and we’re centuries in the future and Joseph is forgotten and the Egyptians began to fear the numbers of the Hebrews and to fear their loyalty. So, like I said, Joseph's forgotten and they don't necessarily remember that he had saved them from devastation centuries in the past. So, Israel's children were enslaved. And the new Pharaoh of Egypt wanted to curb and control the explosion of population among the Hebrews. So, his version of population control was to demand that the Hebrew midwives would literally…would throw every boy, every baby boy that was born into the Nile River and the girls could live. And this…this, among other things certainly cause the Hebrew people, the children of Israel, Jacob's children, they cried out to God. And there was a baby and he was a boy and he was supposed to be thrown into the Nile River, but instead he was…he was put into the Nile River in a basket and then his little sister kinda watched from a distance to kinda watch out for him while he's technically in the Nile River. But he's being saved. This little boy's name is Moses and we will be journeying with Moses for quite a while. And as it turns out, this little basket that had this little baby in it was discovered by the daughter of Pharaoh and he was given the name Moses. And, so, he was a Hebrew who had been raised as an Egyptian and we will watch that story unfold as we now begin the second look at the Bible, the book of Exodus.

Prayer:

Father, we thank You, we thank You, we thank You for Your word and we thank You for bringing us these 25 days into this new year all the way to the last weekend of this first month. And we acknowledge, time, it moves by quickly, but as we established this rhythm, it strengthens us, it encourages us, it gives us wisdom for the road ahead. And, so, we thank You for all that You've done in our lives as we’ve journey through the book of Genesis, all that You are doing as we move through the first Gospel of Matthew. And we invite Your Holy Spirit as we release this week into our history and look forward to the next, that we would be aware of Your presence in all things. Come Holy Spirit we pray. In the name of Jesus, we ask. Amen.

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And, as always, if you have a prayer request or comment 877-942-4253 is the number to dial or you can just press the Hotline button, the little red hotline in the app at the top, you can't miss it, and just start sharing from there.

And that is…that’s it for this week friends and that's it for today. I love you I'm Brian and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hi Daily Audio Bible listeners my name is Brent. I was encouraged to call by Ben from Ohio. I’m the guy that’s been on the fence from calling in. Anyway, I’ve been listening to the Daily Audio Bible for eight years. I’ve been a Christian since I was a young child and I talk to God all day long every day but I struggle from an addiction to prescription pain medicine that I used to take for my back but I now take for the euphoric feeling that I used to feel before I built up a tolerance. So, I end up taking too many and running out two weeks before my refill is due, and it’s been a vicious cycle and has destroyed my marriage. I’m still married but my wife and I don’t talk very much anymore, and I need deliverance from this stronghold. And I ask that you will pray that God will free me from this bondage. That’s about it. Thank you.

While happy new year family this is Biola calling from Maryland. I actually had to call even though I’m recovering from tooth surgery and my cheek looks as if a chipmunk hid a nut or two in it. Pray for me when you think of me for full recovery. But I had to call in because I heard Kimberly, Yvonne, and Victoria Soldier. I had to call into pray for you. Kimberly I am so sorry for what you’ve gone through. Father Lord I pray for Your daughter. You are the one that comforts oh God Lord and heels. I pray that You will heal Kimberly completely oh God emotionally oh God Lord Father even spiritually. I pray that You will give her a heart oh God even to forgive these people oh God and release them even though I know it’s very difficult. But Lord You said oh God Lord that when we do forgive its freeing. Father God I pray that You will heal her from PTSD in the name of Jesus. Father every part oh God that the devil is using to harass this woman oh God Father I put a stop to it right now and I command it to cease and desist in the name of Jesus set her free Lord. In Jesus name give us her sleep oh God in the name of Jesus. Yvonne…Yvonne my sister I heard Your prayer request regarding Your children. You know it is comforting what happened to the prodigal son. The prodigal son’s dad just kept waiting, waiting proudly praying for him and that is a picture of our Lord. You are not responsible for their choices, but I know as a mother myself I know how You feel. So, keep praying for them. Father Lord I pray that You will draw Yvonne’s children back to You. Arrest their hearts oh God Lord in the name of Jesus. Father let them turn their way even from darkness back into light in the name of Jesus. Lastly Victoria soldier so sorry for Your cousin. I pray that God will comfort You in Your loss in Jesus’ name. Amen.

Good morning Daily Audio Bible community I just wanted to call and pray for Brian this morning. This is Darby in Georgia. And Brian I just…I was thinking about meeting today in Genesis 39 and I think it’s verse 22 or 23 where God just he…he was with Joseph. It’s all about Joseph and being put in prison. And I think with depression and anxiety you can feel as if you’re in a prison, that you’re in a pit. But Joseph lived as if God was with him because he was. And at that right time God brought him out of the pit and raised him up so that he could not only be free of that but also be a blessing to many others. And I just pray today that God would give you hope, that God would fill you with a sense of his nearness even though you said you feel like He’s far from you, He is not. And I know I’m not the only one that’s been provoked by just your hopelessness today. I just pray that God would just give you a sense through His Holy Spirit that He is near to you, He is not far. And God, fill him with hope, fill Brian with hope and let him choose to live this day as if You were with him. Give him direction, give him wisdom, and surround him with others Lord who will help to fill him with hope and to see You and to raise his head up and look for You and find You. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Hi this is Linda calling from Folsom California and I’m a first-time caller and wanted to call. Today’s date is 1/19 and I just listened to the prayers for today and I’ve been meeting to call for a long time. I’ve been a listener for about five years. And Ben, I’m just going to thank you and do a callout for pushing us to call because I’d wanted to call again today and your prayer of “just call” has…has prompted this. So, I thank you but today I’m really calling about Brian. My brother, I heard your prayer today. I heard your anguish and feeling depression and problems in your marriage and lack of memory and I just want you to know you’re not alone. I...it’s been for me about 15 - 20 years, that I had to because of my depression have a ECT which…that’s the electroconvulsive shock therapy. And, so, since then I have suffered not only the disease of bipolar but with lack of…loss of memory and how frustrating. I do know…I do know what that feels like and I want you to know how much God loves you and it can be frustrating but continue in the blood of Christ. Remember how much He loves you and wants to be with you. Let Him…let Him and don’t shoot Him…don’t shut Him out by telling Him that you don’t feel Him. He loves you. He is inside of you. I also want to do a shout out that I am praying for Diana and Burning Bush. That was such great news. Welcome with your citizenship and I’m so glad to hear about your sister. Love you all.

Hi Daily Audio Bible this is Kylie calling from Brooklyn New York. I’m a first-time caller. I’ve been listening since 2018. I just…I heard some calls today. I’m reaching out for new listeners who haven’t called in before and I was super touched, and I was grinning really widely on the train. So, I just wanted to say that this community has been a family to me since I stepped foot into it in October. Even just by listening I have been met in places I never thought I could be met in by this community. So, thank you. It’s like a hug every day listening to you. Be well and talk soon.

Good evening DABbers this is Running Desperately to Jesus calling for you Diana. I have started and stopped calling on the prayer line so many times because I feel I don’t know what to say to you but then God let me know that you need to her know by His stripes you are healed. To be healed down here on earth or in eternity, but the ultimate is that you are going to be healed. Your boys will be taken care of. God has them in the palm of His hand. He will honor your request because you have been faithful to Him Diana. You have been faithful, you have taken His word and made it into rhymes and poems so that it…it touches everyone’s heart. Your legacy is here. Your boys will be taken care of. Diana, we love you, I love you. I desire to see you in person. I don’t…I don’t know what else to say. My heart wants to cry but at the same time I’m happy because I know that this whole thing, cancer does not have dominion over you. I love you Diana. Running Desperately to…

Hello, my name is Claire and I’m calling from Canada. I am a longtime listener and first-time collar. I just want to say that I’ve been praying for everybody all these years. Everybody I hear call in, I pray with you and I’m just glad that you guys do call in. I did want to mention the guy that was running, that he just started listening as a podcast. I thought that…just…it made me so happy to hear that because I pray for the salvation and that people would start listening to the Daily Audio Bible all the time. And anyways, I want to call in because I have a friend and this is probably running prevalent through a lot of people’s lives, but I had a friend that’s been injured, he’s had crones for many years. We’ve been friends for 20 years and he’s really suffered. He is a believer but it’s the crones, they ended up putting him on painkillers when he went through surgery and after that he became addicted to them. And anyways, he’s living with my mother now and we’re trying to get him into detox and the enemy really has, you know, a grip on him emotionally and spiritually and I just, you know, want to ask, you know, everybody to please pray for him as, you know, he is really fighting a battle and, you know…I’m sorry but it’s just, you know, I don’t…I…I really want to see him healed once and for all. And just so you know I’m praying for all the people that are dealing with sicknesses and cancer right now and all these kinds of things. I am standing in prayer with all of you as well. So…I didn’t want to cry or anything but be blessed everyone and thank you for this podcast. It’s an amazing gift to my day. Thank you. Bye for now.

Hello Daily Audio Bible community I’m calling in today because I just listened this morning and Ben from Columbus Ohio encouraged those of us who have been reticent to call in to just get on it and do it. And, so, here I am. I’m going into my 10th year with the Daily Audio Bible and I’ve been praying for all of you this whole time, just never called in myself. But I just wanted to share a praise report. Over the last…some of the things you’ve shared with me and my wife of the last 10 years even though you didn’t know you were sharing them with us, you were. So, we’re both soldiers in the U.S. Army and the last 10 years both of our children were born. We’ve done seven moves, we’ve done 23 month-long training deployments, we’ve done two combat deployments between two of us. We’ve done two noncombat deployments between the two of us. The year before this last job I’ve had I did 190 days on business travel over that one year. We did to master’s degrees and then we both got selected to command at the next level. Her unit that’s about 4000 people, mine is about 600…well 640 exactly today. I am currently on one of those noncombat deployments right now. And here comes…that was the praise report, here comes the prayer request. Reintegration with my family, looking at that in about 30 days. I’ve spent a lot of time away from them training and being deployed over the last 3 to 4 years and I need to be the person they need me to be. I need them…I need them to just see Jesus through my actions when we get back under the same roof. So, that’s…sometimes it’s more difficult coming back from all that time separated and living apart but just help when we’re back together and living under the same roof together. All right. I love you all. Thanks.