#The Impossible Readalong

[cheesybadgers]

JSAMN 20 Readalong

"It seems to me," said Mr Segundus thoughtfully, "that I know your face. I have seen you before, I think?"

Something shifted in Childermass's dark face, but it was gone in a moment and whether it had been a frown or laughter it was impossible to say. "I am often in York upon business for Mr Norrell, sir. Perhaps you have seen me in one of the city bookselling establishments?"

"No," said Mr Segundus, "I have seen you...I can picture you...Where?...Oh! I shall have it in a moment!"

Childermass raised an eyebrow as if to say he very much doubted it.

******************

"Now, sir," continued the dark man, "you know me and you know that when I say a thing is so, that thing will be so - however much you and I might privately regret it."

"But you are quite mistaken," said Mr Segundus. "I do not know you. At least I do not believe I ever saw you before."

I know it's because of the strong magic that exists around - and has physical effects on - these two, but it will always amuse me how Segundus remembers Childermass from their first meeting at Hurtfew when they meet again in York, but then by the time Childermass visits Starecross, Segundus is all "I don't know her" about him and Childermass has to re-introduce himself 😂

It's interesting that Childermass expects Segundus to remember him in the second scene, though, because that suggests he's not in control of whatever's happening to them. There must have been countless occasions when he intentionally used magic to hide in plain sight and remain anonymous (we know he can turn himself into shadows, for example), but he wasn't trying to make Segundus forget him by this point. The magic flooding back into England is becoming wilder and more powerful, and I just love how this is reflected in the arcs of these two characters, who have never before been allowed to fully embrace or harness their own magical identities.

[cliozaur]

JSAMN 20 Readalong. Chapters 6–12 reflections

The number and extent of notes have dropped significantly! I think I miss them.

I find it both amusing and satisfying that the most gossiping characters in the novel are not women (as is typical in many nineteenth-century novels) but two men: Mr. Drawlight and Mr. Lascelles.

Mr. Norrell and the gentleman with thistle-down hair: It's curious that despite all of Mr. Norrell's theoretical knowledge and precautions regarding fairies, he seems utterly unprepared and vulnerable in the face of a real one. But isn't that always how it's supposed to be? The Gentleman’s manner of speaking is very entertaining—switching between languages, never stopping to talk. He’s so loquacious it feels as though he lacks company.

The "death and the maiden" theme: there is always something unbearably sublime and attractive about it. I’m not an expert on Austen, but this reference—“how kindly disposed the world in general feels to young people who either die or marry”—feels like her style. (Yes, I checked—it’s from Emma. And our dead maiden is also named Emma!) I can’t help but wonder how AUs with magicians capable of resurrecting the dead reconcile with Christianity. I don’t remember how Clarke dealt with it in my previous reading. If resurrection weren’t such a rare feat, would the triumph of Christianity even have been possible

Chapter 10 is one of the most amusing so far! “It had been two hundred years since the English Government had last commissioned a magician, and they were a little out of the habit of it.” Not to mention, war and military tactics have changed dramatically in 200 years. Ministers and military leaders must have had to be quite inventive. I sympathise with the idea of finding ways to make men more willing to fight. Sadly, this is something I now know firsthand: as wars drag on, it becomes harder to find motivated or willing recruits. So the idea of casting “a general spell over Lincolnshire so that three or four thousand young men would all at once be filled with a lively desire to become soldiers and fight the French” is intriguing and relatable. Fortunately, it was impossible—we don’t want Lincolnshire “be entirely emptied of people.”.

The fleet theme is also very entertaining. I love that the French, despite being tricked, could sincerely admire the mastery of the spell. The story of the interrogation of a mermaid figurehead from a French ship is hilarious! “Having passed all her existence among sailors, she knew a great many insults and bestowed them readily on anyone who came near her.” The poor thing giving up her resistance due to the handsome captain is amusing as well.

[setaripendragon]

JSaMN Readalong Liveblog - Chapters 2-3

Honestly, I have no idea if I'll be able to keep up with this, the first one took an entire afternoon, and while I have a lot of free time, I'm not sure I have that much free time XD Either way, I'm going to try, and see how I get on, because this is rather fun, if time-consuming. I've never actually taken the time to write down my thoughts as I read a book before. My approach to fiction is generally that if I'm not so absorbed I forget the real world exists, I'll go read something else, which makes this sort of liveblogging a bit impossible. Alright, here we go.

Chapter 2 - The Old Starre Inn (January - Fabruary 1807)

Every time I read or hear 'the old starre inn', my mind puts it to the tune of The Magician in York. (Warning: song contains spoilers up to chapter 4 of the book, I think.)

Narrator: Chapter 2: The Old Starre Inn Me: All on a winter's day~

I find it very interesting, the fact that Norrell gives them no specifics as to the magic he's done. After all, he hangs so much pride on his status as a practical magician that you'd think he'd want to show off. But it doesn't feel at all out of character, as he sees these 'pretend' magicians as so far beneath him that why would he need to?

Which is in such contrast to Honeyfoot's impression of him as 'humble' that it's funny. But at the same time, I don't think Honeyfoot is entirely wrong in his impression of Norrell. 'Shy' perhaps gives the wrong impression, but I get very vivid vibes from Norrell of that loner kid on the playground who no one wants to play with because they're 'weird', except once they settle into their isolation and do something cool because they're just trying to have fun by themself, everyone's suddenly interested in them, and their response is 'fuck off, it's mine not yours'.

"For the nation's good. He is a gentleman, he knows his duty..." This is such an alien perspective to me. I know it's a very common attitude of the time, and something of a theme in the book, but there's a whole commentary here on community and how people's sense of belonging has changed over time that I don't have the brain-power to make right now.

"Magicians in England are a peculiarly ungrateful set of men." I love this sentence. 'Magicians in England' - you mean the rich white gentlemen calling themselves magicians? Ungrateful? Perish the thought! XD

The fact that York is 'one of the most magical cities in England' with the possible exception of Newcastle is such an interesting piece of worldbuilding, and I can't help but wonder if that's a modern (to the book) thing, that simply scholars of magic happened to gather and set off a positive feedback loop, or if there is some in-world... concentration of magic. Given the connection of nature and magic, and the Yorkshire moors being so very iconic, there might be something to that?

Also, loving another little taste of the Raven King mythos, with the mention of 'the King's city of Newcastle'. Honestly, I've never been overly invested in English history (save for Arthuriana, but that's fantasy), but the way this book builds the fantasy on top of a skeleton of truth makes me much more interested in finding out about reality as much as the in-book lore of the place. (Much in the same way Assassin's Creed made me interested in finding out the truth of the history it depicts to better compare the story to.)

I might have to go on a wikipedia spiral about the history of places like York and Newcastle at some point. If these liveblogs don't swallow my entire weekend XD

"We do not care for men who build their reputations at the expense of other men's peace of mind." I do not like this man. (I know I'm not supposed to like this man, he is a representation of the worst sort of self-aggrandizing and complacent entitlement of rich white armchair-scholars, but it bears saying; I really don't like him XD Much respect to Segundus for not punching him in the face.)

"English magicians were only ever given common ivy." Ah, symbolism. I have a lot of thoughts about why ivy, honestly, and I definitely want to do some research on this later, but the phrasing here is so telling. 'Only ever given common ivy', making it so blatantly not some sort of accolade, but something commonplace and unremarkable. There's also the fact that ivy can be associated with neglect, as it's seen so often on old, crumbling buildings, and as a symbol of nature 'reclaiming' or even taking over that which people have built. (Again with the ominous whimsy of this book; the gothic imagery of an old house all over-taken by ivy matched with the tone in which the comparison is made making light of potential drama of the symbolism.)

There's also the correlation between ivy and lovers (ivy clings and binds and twines around things. And I recall reading somewhere about it being used for symbolism in the story of Tristan and Isolde?) but I don't think that's quite as applicable here, even though my brain does love to chew on it.

I'm noticing now, as well, that the author makes excellent use of 'show don't tell'. Instead of simply telling us that the room was noisy and everyone was shouting over each other, though we do get told that, we're also given the example of an old man being very passionate about some point that no one can actually hear over the noise.

I find it interesting because I've been reading a lot of things expressing frustration with the maxim because, I think, people take it too literally. That you must never tell, and only show, which of course will absolutely ruin your pacing and make your story very boring. But this, here, is what I think it means. Of course we could simply have been told 'it got loud as everyone argued', but the art of writing is not to simply tell people what happened, but to make them feel it. And by 'showing' us this little snapshot, by giving the noise a face in this old man who cannot make himself heard over the din, despite being very engaged in making his point, it makes the whole business feel much more real.

Oh, I feel so bad for Honeyfoot and Segundus in this part. Although I find it very interesting that we never actually got to see whether Norrell did do any magic for them. We cut from him confessing that he's a practical magician to Segundus and Honeyfoot leaving, and we don't actually know what happened in between.

And, of course, neither do Honeyfoot and Segundus. Which is deeply, deeply unnerving to me when I think through the implications. Not knowing where you are is one thing, but not knowing where you have been is a whole nother level of creepy. And yet, the narrative doesn't treat it as a particularly horrifying occurance. (Again with the ominous whimsy.)

There is something of a theme of this, too, in the book, with the truly horrifying things that magic makes people capable of being treated as a sort of just a thing magic can do, rather than lingering on the violations of privacy, personhood, and autonomy. Not to say that I feel that the narrative is treating them as inconsequential or in some way not as bad as they really are, but that it doesn't pass judgement on it, and lets you draw your own conclusions (which is a bit refreshing in this resurgence of purity culture in fandom at the moment).

Like, here, Segundus doesn't react with any particular horror or upset at his confusion and disorientation. Which, honestly, I find only heightens my own horror. He's just... sort of vague and fuzzy about it all, even in his emotional reaction to his memory being vague and fuzzy. (Like how someone with mind control telling someone to 'do a bad thing' is not nearly so horrifying as someone with mind control telling someone that 'you want to do a bad thing')

I find this part particularly gave me shivers, when Segundus and Honeyfoot are being questioned about the library and they're asked of the books:

"Had they been permitted to take them down and look inside them?" "Oh, no."

Like, everything else we hear from them is just... an obfuscation of the facts? There were a lot of books in the library, some of them were very rare, and that's the impression they've been left with even if they can't remember the specifics, but that? That, we know for a fact to be false.

Which then very abruptly throws Segundus's previous assertion that he knows for a fact that he hadn't seen any magic done into doubt.

Honestly I think that whole sequence is masterfully done. Because at the time, the way Segundus explains it, we're given no reason to doubt his assertion. He says he feels as though he saw magic, but knows for a fact that he didn't. Which can very easily explain away his awareness of the extra lighting and the... (I keep wanting to call it a maze-array, but that's the wrong fandom XD) directionlessness of the hallway, as him having the sense of magic, but not, actually, knowing for sure it was such because neither he nor us the audience were shown Norrell actually casting those spells.

Except then we get that blatant untruth, and suddenly that blank space of time between Norrell's confession at the end of chapter 1 and Honeyfoot and Segundus leaving at the beginning of chapter 2 just opens up with posibilities.

There's also the contrast between Honeyfoot merely being affected in the moment he tries to explain, and Segundus having felt 'heavy and stupid' for the entire week in between meeting Norrell and meeting with the Society. I do love how clear it is already that Segundus is sensitive to magic, the way he noticed so clearly the magical lighting and direction-obfuscation in the last chapter, and now this.

"Other men may fondly attribute their lack of success to a fault in the world, rather than to their own poor scholarship." "But what is my reward for loving my art better than other men have done? For studying harder to perfect it?"

Ooooo burn! He's so catty. What an asshole (affectionate)! Not to say that the Society (and Foxcastle in particular) don't thoroughly deserve it, of course. Everyone in this room is so ready to be offended, they're actively looking for reasons. Their lives must be so incredibly boring that this is how they choose to entertain themselves, holy shit XD

Oh, god. This attorney guy. Robinson. He is so... He's something, alright. "He was so clean and healthy and pleased about everything that he positively shone, which is only to be expected in a fairy or an angel, but is somewhat disconcerting in an attorney." No kidding. And during the whole scene he's so... blandly inoffensive and faux-innocent and defferential that it puts my hackles right up. He is deeply unnerving to me.

'This would be only fair' he says, of a deeply unfair and rigged agreement designed solely to punish them. 'Then surely they would recognise magic when they saw it' he says, as if he's not perfectly aware that they've just been given an incentive to fucking lie about it. 'All your friends have done it' he says, as the only argument he can come up with to try and coerce Segundus into signing the agreement. (Once again, much respect to Segundus for not punching this guy in the face.)

Yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck. Creepy motherfucker.

I love the descriptions of scenery and environment in this book so much, they're so damn evocative:

"The very voices of York's citizens were altered by a white silence that swallowed up every sound." "The winter gloom was quite gone, and in its place was a fearful light; the winter sun reflected many times over by the snowy earth."

Oh. Hmm. I can't be sure, but I think this is the first time the narrator has inserted themself quite so blatantly into the narrative. Things have been couched as observations before, but I don't remember before this the narrator actually referring to themself, or directly addressing the reader, or positing an opinion of their own? (I may have to go back and listen to chapter 1 again to check...)

"brooding blue shadows of the cathedral's west face" "sailing magisterially around the corner like a fat black ship" "he had a strong thin face with something twisted in it like a tree root" More great description and more adjective-adjective-noun phrases.

And then we come to Segundus and Childermass's second first meeting. Again, I feel so bad for Segundus, having his mind and memory messed with like this, but, if you'll excuse me a moment, -shipper goggles on- Segundus still remembers him! "I've seen you... I can picture you! Oh, where?" Can't remember so much as taking down the books that so enthralled him in the library never mind reading them, but he remembers Childermass.

"He thought John Childermass very insolent." Aaaaa, that's my blorbo! He's so cheeky, I love him so much.

"Several looked about them before going inside, as if taking a last fond farewell of a world they were not quite sure of seeing again." And we end the chapter on yet another absolutely magnificent line. Not quite the almost-cliffhanger of the first chapter, but still extremely tantalising, baiting the reader with questions about what, exactly, is going to happen next.

Hmm. Since this one isn't quite as long as chapter 1, I think I'm going to stuff chapter 3 in here, too; try and condense things a little bit XD

Chapter 3 - The Stones of York (February 1807)

"The cold of a hundred winters seems to have been preserved in its stones and to seep out of them." I have been in old churches and this is entirely accurate. I've said it before and I'll say it again, the description in this book is really top tier. Simple, but incredibly evocative and poetic.

"Bells often went with magic, and in particular with the magic of those unearthly beings, fairies." More symbolism, and this one I know less about, but at the same time, it feels right in a way I can't actually explain. Just that the vibes, the atmosphere it creates of bells being this ominous sound associated with something dangerous.

That being said, on thinking about it, I find it very odd that bells are symbols of fairies in this book for two reasons. One is the way that humans often get referred to as 'Christians' as a whole (I remember this gets explained later as a consequence of fairies being bad at telling the difference between humans, I think?), and church bells are the most commonplace example of bells I can think of. So why, then, are bells so specifically associated with fairy magic when there's such a strong connection to the way the book talks about the people who are not fairies?

And also, one of the primary uses of bells, with more significance in the past but with the tradition continuing on to this day, is to tell the time. To put order and structure on the otherwise abstract passing of the day. Which is in direct contrast to everything else we've been told about magic so far. Magic thrives in the places that are not structured to suit humans. Trying to impose scientific reason on magic kills it.

...Okay, I am definitely reaching here, but it just occurred to me that the other primary use of bells is as a warning. I can think of a bunch of examples; ye olden ships and fire-engines, castles and forts and such. All used to say 'something is wrong, action must be taken to avoid disaster'. And that makes me wonder if the bells are less a product of the fairy magic and more, perhaps, some other magic acting as an alarm.

And the only person I can think who could have cast such a wide-reaching, long-lasting spell would be the Raven King. And wouldn't that make sense? Wouldn't a King want to have a warning that some other being is trying to abduct one of his people?

...I'm reaching, but I really like this theory actually. Even though we knew the Raven King had no compunctions about stealing his own subjects away himself. (I still think it fits, as a King would feel entitled to privileges that others would certainly not be permitted.)

Which is a whole 'nother thing I have thoughts on. It's very interesting that the second real bit of information we get about him (after the bit about him having 'only three' Kingdoms being mentioned in one of Norrell's books. I think that's the only time he's actually directly named before this?), is that despite being an Englishman, he has the fairy habit of abducting people to other lands. And that ballad about it!

"The priest was all too worldly, Though he prayed and rang his bell, The Raven King three candles lit, The priest said it was well."

What is this? What does it mean? It does answer a bit of my speculation about bells, I think - they're used as a warning/warding off it seems (given that it's paralleled with praying) - but then there's that bit about the Raven King lighting candles and this, presumably, causing the priest to say 'oh alright then, do carry on'? I'm gonna have to keep my eye out for any more candle symbolism as well, I think.

"This land is all too shallow, It is painted on the sky, And trembles like the wind-shook rain, When the Raven King goes by."

-shakes fist at the author- You weren't content giving me chills with your description in prose, now you're doing it in verse?! -weeps- God. God. I don't have words for how this makes me feel. I am going fucking feral. I want to print this song out so I can eat it. Fuck.

And it's followed up by the narrator absolutely roasting the Magicians of York, which is making me cackle far more than it probably should because I'm still high off that absolutely unnecessary bit of poetry.

I love the way the narrative builds up to the magic. We get the bells, and then a voice, and then what it's saying, and then another one, and then that it comes from a statue, and then the rest of them, and between all of it we get these elaborate descriptions of the magicians reactions and fears.

Going back a little bit. The tale of the girl with the ivy leaves in her hair. This coming in the very next chapter after we were told that magicians are associated with ivy I think can't be a coincidence. And I wonder if the girl being a magician might not be a part of why the stones care so much about her murder? Not that I think murder inside a cathedral is all that common, but I find it hard to believe it only happened once in over 500 years.

"Kings, even stone ones, dislike above all things to be made equal to others." Hmm. Given how many Kings we have this story, I have a feeling this is Significant.

The fact that the stone statues that were to be repaired flinched from the chisel is... Oof. The idea of stone having a concept of harm, enough to fear it, is wild. And it raises the question of how... aware of what they are the statues are. Obviously we have the examples of kings bickering and quarrelling because they do believe themselves to be kings. But are they aware that they are statues of kings, or do the truly believe themselves to be those kings? The first statue seems aware, talking about how 'no one saw but the stones', instead of 'I saw'.

And if they know that they're stones, then... what does it say that they're afraid of the very thing that created them in the first place? Or is the fear of being 'remade' into something different? Is it particular to that statue, and another might welcome the chance to transform?

...Apparently I am my father's child.

My dad: But what is it like to be a tree??? -overthinks it- Me: But what is it like to be a stone??? -overthinks it-

I love this conversation between Segundus and Childermass. Childermass is coming at the thing so side-ways and sneaky, and yet... he's so blatant about it? It's so obvious right from the very start that he's leading up to something, and then he just... waits for Segundus to offer, instead of actually just asking? It's such a weird approach to take.

Also, the fact that we get another of those lovely poetic descriptions of the snow and the clouds as Childermass is waiting really gives the sense of a long drawn-out silence, and I can't help but laugh at the idea of this bizarre little stand-off, these two men just... staring at each other in the snow.

-shipper goggles on- "Until all the world contained was the falling snow, the sea-green sky, the dim grey ghost of York Cathedral... and Childermass." Perhaps it's an aspect of the audiobook that doesn't come through quite as strongly in the text, but the weight put on that last? Putting him on the same level as these... rather ephemeral, magical things, the natural phenomena of the snow and the sky, and the 'ghost of York Cathedral'? As well as the contrast of these... pale, dim, ghostly things, to Childermass who's so often described as dark and ragged. Even without that description here, it makes his presence so stark against this hazy, light backdrop. (And all this implied to be from Segundus's persepective =3)

And then there's all those compliments Childermass pays Segundus once he's gotten what he wanted, too XD (Even if I do kind of get the sense that Childermass doesn't necessarily mean them entirely as compliments. I don't think he thinks very well of people who are too obliging, tbh.)

You know, this is very much my brain veering off into the wilds here, but the thing about Mr Honeyfoot pursuing the tale of the girl with the ivy leaves makes me think of... this idea I've had for a while, mostly inspired by a JSaMN fanfic, On the March, where Childermass 'wakes up' the Yorkshire moors, and the notion of how magic, which in this book is so tightly tied to nature and the wild, could so easily be affected by the location in which it's done.

And if a place like York Minster can be aware of what's going on even when magic isn't being done upon it... then are the stones aware of Mr Honeyfoots efforts on their behalf? Do they see, for whatever value of sight they possess, him fighting this battle for them, and does this earn him anything from them? Can a stone feel gratitude? Is there some reciprocity or good will there? Does Mr Honeyfoot forge a bond of some kind with, or win the favour of, the Stones of York Minster?

There's a fic in this somewhere. (Mr Honeyfoot gets into a disagreement inside the Minster, and a stone drops onto the head of his adversary. Crumbly old buildings, you know, someone ought to check and make sure it's not going to happen again!)

'The Last Magician in Yorkshire' Now there's a phrase you could build an entire other story around. Another quite powerful end to a chapter, though not quite as gripping as the last two.

Well, I'm glad these two were somewhat shorter than all my thoughts on chapter 1. And I'm now more than half way through this week's chapters. I hope I'll be able to get 4 and 5 done tomorrow (or later this evening, maybe, if I feel like it?)

[alwayschasingrainbows]

TANGLED WEB READALONG CHAPTER 1.17.

I feel so sorry for Hugh, who clearly never stopped loving Joscelyn. What a terrible experience it must have been for him when his newlywed wife left him on their wedding night - the night that was supposed to be the beginning of their new life together.

Yet there is no anger or bitterness in his thoughts about Joscelyn. He still thinks of her with tenderness and gentleness, not blaming her for how terribly she hurt him.

Reading about his dreams and the life he wanted to have with Joscelyn is very depressing. The house that was never made into a home, the children that were never born, the laughter that never echoed through the rooms...

Hugh deserved to be happy. I agree with @batrachised who said it's hard to feel sorry for Joscelyn... It is almost impossible, while reading about the tragedy of a man for whom time stopped when he lost the love of his life...

[pilferingapples]

LM 4.11.1

ah the readalong is already marching off to the barricades! Somehow this part always seems to come up before I'm ready, even though I know the order of events...

anyway today is Gavroche, and the explanations of his poetry, which means I am obligated to note this bit:

It is hard to miss the last cake.

Nevertheless, Gavroche pursued his way.

Two minutes later he was in the Rue Saint-Louis. While traversing the Rue du Parc-Royal, he felt called upon to make good the loss of the apple-turnover which had been impossible, and he indulged himself in the immense delight of tearing down the theatre posters in broad daylight.

For no reason. No reason at all.

[ksfoxwald]

Fire and Hemlock Readalong: Coda

"You meant that, didn't you?" Tom said. "Yes," said Polly. And, thanks to Laurel, had to go on meaning it, or it would all be to do again. To love someone enough to let them go, you had to let them go forever or you did not love them very much.

Tom and Polly find themselves outside of Hunsdon House - the house is "dead" now, its enchantment broken, or at least sleeping for the next nine years. The rest of the quartet and Leslie make their way over through the bushes, which, in a final humorous touch, have been squashed flat by the horse-car, in its car form once more.

"But I want to keep seeing you. I always wanted to keep seeing you. It may not work out - between us. But I want to try. At least I can ask now. Won't you change your mind?"

This is perhaps the first time Tom is asking to see Polly for her own sake, not for hero-business. The coda epigraph from Tam Lin is very fitting here: "They shaped him in her arms at last/A mother-naked man." With no curses or hero-business or anything between them, they are seeing each other honestly for perhaps the first time.

"This is quite impossible," Polly said carefully. "For you, the only way to behave well was to behave badly. For me, the only way to win was to lose. You weren't to know me, and I wasn't to remember you. If two people can't get together anywhere - " "You think?" Tom said with a shivery laugh. "Nowhere?"

The ambiguity of the ending isn't much clarified in Diana's essay:

I was also following the Odyssey, where Odysseus does at last come home, to a partnership and a personal relationship. And I wanted to indicate, however briefly, that though a relationship was possible between Polly and Tom, such a relationship is only likely to be maintained through continuing repeated small acts of heroism from both.

One thing I do find interesting is that the essay doesn't actually use the word romance. Diana's books are all very unromantic about romance, but I do wonder if Polly and Tom are meant to have something more complex and ambiguous than a typical marriage and romance here.

This is one of the most complex and subtle books I have ever had the joy of reading, and I would like to thank @no-where-new-hero for putting the call out for a readalong and giving me the chance to really do a deep dive into it! I've loved reading your thoughts and observations as well!

[lafcadiosadventures]

Madame Putiphar Readalong. Book Two, Chapter XXVI, second half.

Pastel Hued Rococo Horror

"La femme d’un charbonnier est plus estimable que la maîtresse d’un Roi.", original illustration by Michele Armajer, second edition of Madame Putiphar.

Putiphar is wrong in her perhaps Rousseaunian suppositions. In Patrick’s case, not all loves are brothers. To prove her wrong he “treats” her with a long and minute translation of the Irish song into french. It is not a love song, but a war ballad (and, it’s a real song, @sainteverge found the original lyrics and you can read them in their translation) it is a long, long history ballad about scottish and irish clans, so long that when Patrick is finally done translating dinner is served. (Nothing against the song itself it’s just hilarious how much of a reach pompadour had to make to fool herself into thinking it was a love song, but admittedly, horniness is a hell of a drug) I can imagine Pompadour desperately trying and failing to bring the mood back to sexy. Her chance finally springs up when dinner is announced and she can bring Patrick’s attention to her outfit

Pomps appologizes for feeling “too lazy”to dress properly, she is still wearing her sheer white robe de chambre, a so called laisse-tout-faire -> don’t need to spell out what is that “tout” which the crotchless, petticoatless and drawersless robe allows to do here. (Borel’s narrator plays the puritan apologizing for mentioning such impudic garments, but he has to, because, in a way that single word sums up the decadence of a whole epoch or something (Borel mentions two linguists here: Pierre Borel, and Ménage. This is fun because Borel has a witty and contrived way of saying the meaning of the expression is obvious: laisse-tout-faire is not a word that will torture the pierre borels and menages of the future, Borel scribbles, while he crafts words and expressions that will indeed torture future translators and linguists. in the best possible ways.)

So: once dinner is announced, they leave the boudoir and step into another room whichis a puzzle in itself. What is it? A salon? A bedroom? Another boudoir? The room is filled to the brim with all kinds of furniture, beds, bookshelves with the latest Enlightenment hits, sofas, a table. The bric-a-brac makes it almost impossible to walk around the table, the rococo horror vacui becomes an impediment to circulation, almost as if it’s designed to trap Putiphar’s intended sacrificial lambs after an intoxicating meal. (only now Patrick begins to envision that Putiphar has some projects for him, yes, even after all her writhing, boob groping and verbal insinuations. He finally notices that he is physically trapped as well. Her plans are basically abduction and sexual assault) There are also no visible doors since they are all covered with gobelins. And even if he could physically escape, he thinks, he could never run away from her resentment. He realizes like Cellini before him, that the queen/pompadour’s sex is a trap where both sleeping with her, or rejecting her are deadly choices, because the power imbalance is too vast. (Patrick has more moral concerns than Cellini, who is basically his diametrical opposite)

Patrick suddenly begins to notice he needs to sit down because he has had too much to drink, and that he is not only trapped, but utterly alone with her. He is scared and disgusted with her secret plotting, and feels guilty and stupid for having accepted her invitation. Feeling tired, heavy, intoxicated and scared, weighted down too by the realization that all his possible choices are potentially deadly, and that he cannot physically leave the horror-vacui roccoco funhouse death trap, he lets Fate chose for him. He will rely on his instinctual responses and puts himself in the hands of God. (or his conscience)

The castle and the witch are trying to eat Patrick alive, Putiphar is in full fledged Hansel and Gretel witch mode, she is pumping wine and aphrodisiacs into Patrick, who drinks and eats as little as he can without being overtly rude. The arousal he felt at the beginning of the chapter is totally gone. Her lies and intentions to get him by force and treachery disgust him. Yet he shows himself bold and spontaneous. This slightly offends her, since she can no longer attribute his codlness to shyness or inexperience. It’s a masks off moment for both of them.

(in terms of form of the novel, Borel includes some Spanish expressions here like vino rancio, and alcahueta. Spanish culture shows up in the form of something delicious, the wine, that Patrick manages to resist, which shows his strength, and to name the royal pimp, perhaps with a less decorous word than what he could have afforded to include in french? Like his use of carajo in Champavert, but not foutre/vit, for example)

She still hopes to seduce him though, she tries the method she uses on Pharao. Like a character in Crébillon’s The Sofa, where a monarch forces guests to tell him stories, (just like in the 1001 nights, but more relevant to our novel about the crimes and power abuses of the powerful, just like the king and Pompadour had Sartine did as we will see) She instead forces dirty gossip of the royal family and all the courtiers into Patrick’s ears. (Borel beings up a connection between the royal pimp, the “alcahueta de la corte” La Gourdan, and Sartine, the head of the secret police. This is historical fact, some of the police reports are still existent, what is questioned and possibly a myth is that Pompadour started this not to control the other courtiers, but to incite a sexual partner that was increasingly harder to please, which sounds of course, too naif to be real. (I’ll include bellow a letter on Gourdan which I’d wager is one of Borel’s source for all of this)

It’s fascinating that, in complete accordance to the rumours, these sexual stories have both an erotic and a punitive function, the courtiers use them for their own amusement, but they also have their pimps work closely with cops to ensure they can wield power through them. (They are basically fapping to police reports. Allegorically fascinating and disgusting) But the stories lack their desired effect. Patrick is neither aroused or amused, he is disgusted. She orders more champagne, but Patrick says he’s not a drinking man. It would be “monstrous” of him not to have any vices, she claims, lacking “passion” would make him inhuman. (note here, how a man who lacks addictions/inclinations that are deemed perverse and thus condemned, because that’s the way Pompadour frames it, is someone who she cannot subjugate by the sartine/gourdan method)

Patrick enjoys things but is addicted to none, and has none of the modern “vices” he doesn’t gamble, he can drink, dance and go to the theatre but he wouldn’t die if he had to do without those things. He is not an addict, he cannot be trapped by vicies like the courtiers The King, Pompadour, Sartine and la Gourdan surveil. Pompadour grows impatient: "Who do you love?", she asks. "I love women". And she continues her guessing game, and is so vain that when Patrick claims to love one women above all the others, who is young, beautiful and noble, she calls him a flatterer since she thinks he means her. Putiphar wants to take Debby’s ring (an old and austere relic) from him and give him a shiny new one. He refuses it since he loves Deborah, she calls her cruel, but insists on the gift, and in making him her lover. He still refuses, he cannot have two loves. He cannot divide the same love in two either (the literary/cultural theme of carnal versus holy love, divided between the angel in the hearth and the mistress) as Pompadour suggests. But Patrick still rejects her. She is indeed insulted by that open refusal, and by Patrick’s mention of Love, that is not what she wants from him. In her rage, she remembers the ace up her sleeve, which she was willing to forget if Patrick had flattered her and accepted to become her lover and her plaything: The murder conviction, his status as a fugitive from the Law. The die is cast. Left with nothing to lose, Patrick dares recall that Pompadour’s father is also someone who evaded the law, but thanks to her power and status, all of that was forgotten. The chief difference is Patrick is actually innocent, but he has no powerful protectors, (and in fact was incriminated by aristocrats) so he’ll have to pay for the crimes of another, while Pompadour’s father was indeed guilty, but given his status he’s safe from the law (once again, the theme of the law as definitely not blind and equal for all) Outraged, Putiphar calls for her men, but Patrick has the last laugh:

“Woah there! messieurs, calm down! Please wait, I still have a word to say to madame,” shouted Patrick! and, taking from the bookshelf a volume of the New Eloisa, he flipped a few pages, and added: “This word I have to say is not mine, it is that of the citizen of Geneva; here it is: “A coalman’s wife is more estimable than a king’s mistress.”

 (tr. by sainteverge )

When the lackeys attempt to grab him, Patrick draws his sword. He leaves the palace in his own terms. His attempt at bonding with the aristocracy are forever broken, since it was impossible to have them without degrading himself. It was required of him to cheat on his wife, to have sex against his wishes, to renounce to his citizenship, to adapt his tastes and opinions to those of the ruling class, to accept surveillance by Sartine, and so on. Patrick will probably not survive this book, but he values his integrity higher than his mere survival. He starts (like many other Romantic characters), his own glorious defeat arc, a kalos thanatos, death before living by rules that rot the soul.

***

Here’s an annex on La Gourdan by Théveneau de Morande, (apparently a french spy and blackmailer himself, living in London in the 18th c) found in his compilation of Gourdan’s correspondence for the Jean Nourse 1784-1866 London edition. I would wager Borel read this, not only it is cited in most papers on this subject, and the dates match, but also Morande calling Gourdan The Priestess of Cytherea, -a less popular name for Aphrodite that Borel uses in this very novel- makes me extra confident in this conjecture. Relevant quote on Sartine’s gazette and spying in the high class brothels here:

“(...)il faut que vous sachiez, mylord, que les lieux de débauche de cette capitale ne sont pas simplement comme nos bagnos à Londres : ils sont ici d'institution politique. Celles qui y président, par essence espionnes de la police, tiennent un registre exact de toutes les personnes qui viennent chez elles, et entrent à cet égard dans les détails les plus particuliers qu'elles peuvent apprendre. Vous sentez combien ils doivent être amusants. C'est sous le feu roi, et surtout à la fin de son règne, que cet historique du libertinage de la capitale était fort recherché. On assure que le magistrat chargé de cette partie en dernier lieu (Sartine, according to the footnotes) donnait une attention particulière; qu'il occupait journellement un secrétaire de confiance très-intime à rédiger de ces divers matériaux une gazette galante et luxurieuse, et que le monarque et sa maîtresse (Pompadour) en faisaient leurs plus chères délices. Le lieutenant de police d'aujourd'hui n'a pas cet avantage. Le jeune prince, ami des moeurs, rejetterait avec indignation une chronique aussi scandaleuse; il rougirait des turpitudes qu'on y dévoile. Mais ces archives d'horreurs et d'infamies n'en subsistent pas moins, comme pouvant servir à diriger le ministère dans quantités d'opérations sourdes, à lui fournir le fil de beaucoup de choses et le secret de presque toutes les familles. La dame Gourdan, par l'étendue de son commerce et par ses pratiques distinguées, devait être plus recommandable qu'une autre au gouvernement. C'est ce qui excite la curiosité des amateurs, soit pour découvrir dans son journal bien des gens qu'on ne se doutait pas d'y trouver, soit dans la crainte de s'y voir inscrits eux-mêmes. De quelque manière que le procès tourne, on espère, au surplus, qu'une femme aussi importante ne sera que suspendue dans l'exercice de son ministère et qu'elle le reprendra incessamment. On sait qu'elle a déjà réclamé les bontés des personnages en place les plus éminents ; on dit même Pompadour qui, pour dissiper l'ennui de son auguste amant, avait imaginé cette gazette(...)”

There's also this article on Pompadour and the court's policing of sex, and sexual rumours as a political tool to manipulate the public opinion. It covers some of Borel’s sources (La Bastille devoilé), some of the rhetorical strategies he uses in this chapter, like orientalizing the french despot.

(also thanks to this article I learnt that Les bijoux indiscrets is an allegory of all that policing of sex at Versailles. That makes young Diderot's choice of an oriental setting less about exotism and fantasy -although that is definitely there- and more about making the analogies with the french court less obvious >_>)

@counterwiddershins

[brightbeautifulthings]

Week 1 | Week 2 | Week 3 | Week 4 | Week 5 | Week 6

Week 7 (§31 - §45)

"'...you think in terms of data. There's none of the feeling attached to it'" (p. 428-9).

I'm struggling with this, not so much on a reading level as an enjoyment level. Intellectual experiments usually start out interesting and then become a tiresome slog, and that feels like all this is to me. To what extent can Wallace push the reader to work for this novel while gradually reducing the payoff for that work? And you can't convince me there isn't at least some level of fuckery going on here. He's written a book about boredom, for god's sake, and tried to make it as meta as possible. The writing is often very good, but I'm just not connecting with any of the characters or events (assuming there are sometimes things that could be called events) outside of Fogle's section, which seems to me to be the heart of this unfinished version of the novel. I'm not sure we're meant to, but lack of connection just misses the whole point of reading, for me. Which is all to say that I'm far enough along in this to determine it's not one of my favorite Wallace books.

But anyway, down to specifics on these sections. There's something very uncomfortable about reading this book, both physically and mentally, that I also think is intentional and, incidentally, is also hindering enjoyment. Lane Dean's chapter is dense and meandering enough to feel like we're doing the tricky but boring concentration work with him (and I have an actual job for that, thanks anyway), and the kid contorting himself into impossible positions is like reading about someone chewing glass in slow, excruciating detail. If reading is to put us in the minds of other human beings, that's a consciousness I never particularly wanted to experience. (Yeah, yeah. I'm sure it's a metaphor for solipsism or something. That doesn't make it fun to read.) Again, we have the sense that things at the IRS are building up to something bigger, but even had the novel been finished, I doubt we would have seen that play out.

The DFW Discord server is hosting this readalong. Join us for discussions! 💀

[toopunkrockforshul]

Finally finished the last book for full blackout for 2023 bingo!

All hard mode except the robots one because I wasn't sure going in what role the robot would play. I don't think I can in good conscious claim that he was a protagonist though.

5 star reads (in order of prompt number):

Sunshine by Robin McKinley

When the Angels Left the Old Country by Sacha Lamb

Some Desperate Glory by Emily Tesh

The Pomegranate Gate by Ariel Kaplan

The Faceless Old Woman Who Secretly Lives in Your Home by Jeffrey Cranor and Joseph Fink

Full details below the cut:

Title with a Title (Hard Mode: Not a title of royalty) A Master of Djinn by P. Djèlí Clark - 4 stars

Superheroes (Hard Mode: Not related to DC or Marvel) Ordinary Monsters by J.M. Miro - 4 stars

Bottom of the TBR (Hard Mode: None, its already hard enough) Mister Impossible by Maggie Stiefvater - 4.75

tars

Magical Realism or Literary Fantasy (Hard Mode: Not one of the books in the Magic Realism recs thread) Uncommon Charm by Emily Bergslien and Kat Weaver - 4 stars

Young Adult (Hard Mode: Published in the last 5 years) The Way Back by Gavriel Savit - 4.75 stars

Mundane Jobs (Hard Mode: Does not take place on Earth) Mindtouch by M.C.A Hogarth - 4.75 stars

Published in the 00s (Hard Mode: Not in the top 30 of r/Fantasy best of 2023 list) Sunshine by Robin McKinley - 5 stars

Angels and Demons (Hard Mode: Protagonist is an angel or a demon) When the Angels Left the Old Country by Sacha Lamb - 5 stars

5 SFF Short Stories (Hard Mode: Read an entire SFF anthology or collection) Love After the End:An Anthology of Two-Spirit and Indigiqueer Speculative Fiction by Joshua Whitehead - 4 stars

Horror (Hard Mode: Not Stephen King or H.P. Lovecraft): The Voice of the Blood by Jemiah Jefferson - 4.75 stars

Self-published or Indie Publisher (Hard Mode: self pub and has fewer than 100 ratings) The Dying of the Golden Day by Carrie Gessner - 3.75 stars

Set in the Middle East/Middle Eastern SFF (Hard Mode: Author is of Middle Eastern heritage) The Bruising of Qilwa by Naseem Jamnia - 4.5 stars

Published in 2023 (Hard Mode: Debut novel) Some Desperate Glory by Emily Tesh - 5 stars

Multiverse and Alternative Realities (Hard Mode: Characters do not walk through a literal door in order to get to another world) The Pomegranate Gate by Ariel Kaplan - 5 stars

POC Author (Hard Mode: Takes place in a futuristic, sci-fi world) Hexarchate Stories by Yoon Ha Lee - 4.25 stars

Bookclub or Readalong Book (Hard Mode: read as part of a bookclub and participate in the discussion) Gods of Jade and Shadow by Silvia Moreno-Garcia - 2 stars

Novella (Hard Mode: Novella is not published by Tordotcom Publishing) The Seep by Chana Porter - 4.75 stars

Mythical Beasts (Hard Mode: No dragons or dragon-like creatures) Drink Slay Love by Sarah Beth Durst - 3.5 stars

Elemental Magic (Hard Mode: Not V.E. Schwab's Shades of Magic series or Jim Butcher's Codex Alera series) The Last Sun by K.D. Edwards - 4.75 stars

Myths and Retellings (Hard Mode: Not Greek or Roman mythology) The Raven Tower by Ann Leckie - 4.25 stars

Queernorm Setting (Hard Mode: Not a futuristic setting) The Door into Shadow by Diane Duane - 4.25 stars

Coastal or Island Setting (Hard Mode: The book also features sea-faring) The Adventures of Amina Al-Sirafi by S.A. Chakraborty - 4 stars

Druids (Hard Mode: Not The Iron Druid Chronicles by Kevin Hearne) The Dawnhounds by Sascha Stronach - 4.5 stars

Featuring Robots (Hard Mode: Robot is the protagonist) He, She and It by Marge Piercy - 3.5 stars

Sequel (Hard Mode: Book 3 or on in the series) The Faceless Old Woman Who Secretly Lives in Your Home by Jeffrey Cranor and Joseph Fink - 5 stars

[banyeet]

“I see you lost your accent” and “I see you lost your jacket” are literally just 2 versions of I see you’re neurotically pretending not to be insecure. 😪 My dudes, it’s the 6th book. Can pot and kettle please start getting along

[silverbrume]

Inception 30 Day Challenge - Day 31 - A letter to Inception fandom

Dear Inception fandom,

Thank you for welcoming me with open arms and headcanons to spare! Over the course of the last few months, I've gone from a fandom lurker to someone who feels brave enough to share my own art, post my own meta, and participate in fic readalongs--and it's all because of you :) It's been such a joy to hang out with all of you during my first inceptiversary. Here's to dreaming up more impossible things!

<3 <3 <3

[badlesmisimaginesofficial]

readalong imagine #2

some good I mean to do

despite of mine own nature

- king lear, act v scene iii

Imagine...

Everyone is telling you not to make the journey. It is too dangerous with Cravatte on the loose, to the point where even the bravest men fear falling into his hands. The idea that you might go, as an unaccompanied young woman, is unthinkable.

You will not be dissuaded, however. God will shield you, and who needs your guidance more than the bandits themselves? You are resolved to go, and on one sunny morning you leave, mounted on a snow-white donkey.

Everyone else was not entirely off in their predictions. You have only been going for an hour when the bandits surround you, sending a shiver down your spine. You are not afraid, you insist to yourself, but there's no denying that God is all that stands between you and them.

Well, God, and your impossible beauty.

The leader - Cravatte - approaches, pulling up his horse with a dramatic flourish. You have heard tales of his bloodlust and brutality, and expected to find a monster in need of salvation - but he is younger than you expected, and despite the hard lines of his face he is the most beautiful man you have ever seen.

'Why, Y/N,' he says, in a Texan drawl completely out of place in 19th century France. 'What is a little lady such as yourself doing all the way out here?'

'How do you know my name?' you ask, and to your relief discover that your voice is steady.

'Oh, we've heard all about you.' He grins, revealing perfect teeth. 'The first ever female bishop. Famed for her charity and generosity. I figured it was only a matter of time before you came out looking for some sinners to reform.'

'I don't like your tone,' you tell him haughtily and, gathering up the reins, nudge your donkey onwards.

'Whoa, hold up a second.' He rides after you, catching up after a few paces. Now that you're a little way away from the others you see his expression soften, becoming open and more vulnerable. For the first time, you realise that perhaps he is not a monster at all, but a misunderstood creature fighting to survive on the outskirts of society.

'I know I'm going to hell, Y/N,' he says, quietly. 'Ain't nothing you or anyone can do about that. But I like to think - well, there's still time, ain't there? If there's any mercy in your heart, maybe you can show me what I can do. Maybe I can't be a good man, after everything, but I can damn well try.'

'Oh, Cravatte.' You feel your heart swelling at the handsome bandit's words. 'Of course. There's still good in you, I can see it.'

He smiles, more genuinely this time. 'You sure you're not a saint, Y/N? Cause I think you might just perform a miracle.'

[themoonlightarchive]

TOP 5 WEDNESDAY is a meme created by GingerReadsLainey on Youtube. Now hosted by Thoughts On Tomes, there’s even a group on Goodreads for this awesome weekly book meme! However, I am going to be picking my own topics each week. This week’s topic is favourite parts so far from The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue by V.E. Schwab. I’m participating in the readalong hosted by the Book Cult Club which I’m a discord moderator for. Y’all should join us! 

If you haven’t read Addie LaRue yet, beware of spoilers! There are lots below the cut.

1. Chapter VI; Page 35

“Addie thinks of her father and his carvings, the way he peeled away the bark, whittled down the wood beneath to find the shapes that lived inside. Michelangelo called it the angel in the marble  though she’d not known that as a child. Her father had called it the secret in the wood. He knew how to reduce a thing, sliver by sliver, piece by piece, until he found its essence; knew, too, when he’d gone too far. One stroke too many, and the wood went from delicate to brittle.  Addie has has three hundred years to practice her father’s art, to whittle herself down to a few essential truths, to learn the things she cannot do without.”

2. Chapter VIII; Page 39

“Adeline is three and twenty, already too old to wed. Three and twenty, a third of a life already buried. Three and twenty - and then gifted like a prize sow to a man she does not love, or want, or even know. She said no, and learned how much the word was worth. Learned that, like Estele, she had promised herself to the village, and the village had a need. Her mother said it was duty. Her father said it was mercy, though Adeline doesn’t know for whom. Estele said nothing, because she knew it wasn’t fair. Knew this was the risk of being a woman, of giving yourself to a place, instead of a person. Adeline was going to be a tree, and instead, people have come brandishing an ax. They have given her away.”

3. Chapter XV; Page 76

“My name is Addie LaRue, she thinks to herself as she walks. Three hundred years, and some part of her is still afraid of forgetting. There have been times, of course, when she wished her memory more fickle, when she would have given anything to welcome madness, and disappear. It is the kinder road, to lose yourself. Like Peter, in J.M. Barrie’s Peter Pan. There, at the end, when Peter sits on the rock, the memory of Wendy Darling sliding from his mind, and it is sad, of course, to forget. But it is a lonely thing, to be forgotten. To remember when no one else does. I remember, whispers the darkness, almost kindly, as if he’s not the one who cursed her.”

4. Chapter IV; Page 117

““Come,” he says, “give me what I want, and the deal will be done, this misery ended.” A soul, for a single year of grief and madness. A soul, for copper coins on a Paris dock. A soul, for nothing more than this. And yet, it would be a lie to say she does not waver. To say that no part of her wants to give up, give in, if only for a moment. Perhaps it is that part that asks. “What would become of me?” Those shoulders - the ones she drew so many times, the ones she conjured into being - give only a dismissive shrug. “You will be nothing, my dear,” he says simply. “But it is a kinder nothing than this. Surrender, and I will set you free.” If some part of her wavered, if some small part wanted to give in, it did not last beyond a moment. There is a defiance in being a dreamer. “I decline,” she growls.”

5. Chapter XII; Page 153

“Three hundred years she’s tested the confines of her deal, found the places where it gives, the subtle bend and flex around the bars, but never a way out. And yet. Somehow, impossibly, Henry has found a way in. Somehow, he remembers her. How? How? The question thuds with the drum of her heart, but in this moment, Addie does not care. In this moment, she is holding to the sound of her name, her real name, on someone else’s tongue, and it is enough, it is enough, it is enough.”

[rhysand-vs-fenrys]

How things will work starting tomorrow with the ACOSF readalong--

One of the things I had issues with (until I blocked enough blogs) with my TGCF readalong (that inspired my ACOTAR ones) was people commenting with nudge-nudge-wink-wink kind of things like “Oh just wait” or “You’d think that at this point wouldn’t you”.

That’s flat out stupid and no one likes it.

So to avoid stuff like that with my ACOSF readalong and to avoid people commenting like “I thought they revealed later this was that” or whatever- I know nothing going into SF and I’m happy with that I’m just pulling examples out my ass- I’ve decided to adjust the readalong a bit.

I’m going to save it all as drafts, and then start putting it through a handful of posts at a time once I’ve finished the novel.

There’s always stuff (like my “Fenrys Moonbeam” post) that I do as I’m reading, that stuff might still happen because it kind of gives you guys a benchmark to see my progress, but if I feel a readalong post has any potential to attract spoilers then I’ll draft it :)

As always, I look forward to this book, I’ll emphasize what I enjoy and just not talk about stuff I don’t. I choose to focus on positives. Oh, and just because so many people called Nesta OOC in FAS let me say one more time my official position::

It is physically impossible for Maas to write OOC (Out Of Character), she is these character’s god.  It’s not OOC, you just misunderstood the C. I don’t care if you don’t like that your fanfic interpretation of Nesta (or Cassian or whoever) doesn’t line up with canon. Canon is law.

I look forward to enjoying this book with you all soon!

[svengooliecat]

Sven’s Masterpost

         Sven’s Masterpost of Fancreations for 007 Fest 2018

You guys, I had a blast this year. The Bond fandom is seriously the coolest, most chill, insanely creative bunch of good eggs I’ve had the pleasure of getting to know over the past few years. 

Shout out to my team @teamofvillains for all their hard work and creativity--y’all rock. And we had such a marvelous inaugural Bond Villains Day Celebration!

Fanfic: 5pts ea., +5 pts per anon prompt fills in italics 1. Moonshaft 2. Jurassic Adventures 3. USS Skyfall (6 Chapters) = 30 pts 4. You, Me, and World Domination 5. Tequila and Lime 6. James Bond and the Deathly PowerPoint 7. Hellcat (3 Chapters) = 15 pts 8. The Knight of the Blue Rose 9. Dedication Base points: 80 Bonus: 25 Total: 105

Meta: 1. Leiter and Bond in Thunderball Total: 5 pts

Headcanons: 5pts ea, + 14pts per 7 headcanons 1. Ageism 2. Poodle 3. Celebrity 4. Kindred Spirits 5. 7 Headcanons about 004 (7 headcanons = 35) 6. Esprit de corps 7. Éclair 8. Commonplace Book Base points: 70 Bonus: 28 Total: 98

Recipes: 1. 007 Cocktails Pt. 1 2. 007 Cocktails: Bonus CR 3. Felix’s Southwest Tortellini Salad 4. 007 Cocktails Pt. 2 5. 007 Cocktails Pt. 3 6. 007 Cocktails Pt. 4 7. Villainous Ginger Cookies 8. Saganaki 9. Stone Crab Salad 10. Fricassée de Langouste Total: 50 pts

Rec Post: 1. OC—004 Rec List 2. Self-Rec #1: Humor 3. Self-Rec #2: BAMF Q 4. Self-Rec #3: AUs 5. Agent Q Rec List Total: 25 pts

Other Fancreation: 5pts ea., +5pts for prompt fills in italics 1. MB: Ageism 2. MB: Moneypenny 3. Entertaining 007 Pt. 1 4. Entertaining 007 Pt. 2 5. MB: OC 004 6. MB: Agent Q 7. Villain’s Day Word Search Puzzle 8. Villain’s Day Riddles 9. MB: Fairy Tale AU 10. MB: Bond Girl Day-Camille 11. MB: Author!Bond 12. Skyfall Haiku Base points: 60 Bonus: 5 Total: 65 pts

Events Attended: 1. Love is the Devil: 7/2 2. Chat Night: 7/4 3. Casino Royale 1967: 7/5 4. The Hour: 7/7 5. Versailles: 7/9 6. Chat Night: 7/11 7. Readalong: 7/12 8. Skyfall: 7/13 9. Hannibal S1: 7/15 10. Johnny English: 7/17 11. Mamma Mia: 7/19 12. Thor Ragnorak: 7/19 13. Renaissance: 7/24 14. Paddington: 7/25 15. Hotel Splendide: 7/26 16. Cowboys and Aliens: 7/26 17. Readalong: 7/26 18. Mission Impossible 7/31 19. Live and Let Die 7/31 Total: 19

Misc. Bonus Points: 31 Fancreations = 75 pts

Comments: 1 pt ea., +31 for first 31, and +10 every addit. 31 after Base Points: 310 Bonus: 121  Total: 431

Anon Prompt Fills: (Specific List) 1. Jurassic Park AU 2. Star Trek AU 3. Agent Q 4. Bond finds out Q hacked MI6 and left his resume 5. Actual!cat Bond is picked up from the shelter 6. Bond writes trashy spy thrillers on the side under a pseudonym

Total Points for the 2018 Fest: 873

[pilferingapples]

OK so as far as I can tell right now, the earliest chapter in LM would be in 1805 (the Bruneseau sewer chapters) 

the last one happens in 1861 (the narrator’s visit to the battlefield of Waterloo) 

the Drac Daily version of Les Mis would take FIFTY SIX (56) YEARS 

people asking me if I’m gonna run this have some extreme faith in my longevity