#The Hoodie blanket you'll never want to take off
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heinzgarner · 2 years ago
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Oversized Blanket Hoodie with Giant Pocket,
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xalygatorx · 13 days ago
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A Case of the Slumps | Alastor x Depressed!GN!Reader
Summary: It seems you've brought your brain chemistry down to Hell with you. Figures.
Warnings/Tags: Hurt/Comfort, depression and related symptoms/thoughts (obvi), cinnamon roll Charlie, Angel gives you a Xanax but you don't take it, platonic Alastor with a hint of possible unspoken romantic feelings, unexplained cause of death, present tense for some reason, reader is gender neutral
A/N: Crosspost of a recent oneshot from my AO3 because I figured if I'm in a slump, someone else probably is too. x
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Sometimes it was a thought. Sometimes it was the time of year or the weather, when Hell's crimson sky was kept dark for long periods of time by an uptick of brimstone in the atmosphere or the lingering storm clouds after an acidic downpour. Sometimes it was a memory. A song. A smell.
Sometimes it was seemingly nothing at all.
Just like when you were alive, your now-dead brain hasn't lost its particular quality of liking to work against itself. It's impossible to say whether it's a continued chemical imbalance—that'd be likely right? If demons can do drugs, then clearly there's still something to brain chemistry in Hell—or if death took a snapshot of your self and your mind as they were in life.
It doesn't really matter what it is either because it still affects you just the same. And because you haven't had a depressive episode yet post-mortem, you haven't done any of the legwork you had to do in life on your own to figure out what's "wrong" with you, who might hear you and listen, and what medication(s) works.
So when it does hit, it hits like a tidal wave no one else can see. The wave itself, anyway—everyone can see you drowning.
That first slump isn't kind enough to hit in the morning when you can sleep in—or rather stare with dead eyes at the wall, bundled under your duvet and blankets as you put off the day passing by around you. No, that first slump hits in the middle of one of Charlie's exercises, one that you were enthusiastic about participating in just an hour ago. What happened?
You know. This feeling is an old friend you'd hoped to never meet again.
Charlie doesn't though, not right away. After you excuse yourself by means of referencing a stomachache you only kind of have—and only from the emptiness pooling in your gut and humming in your chest—she catches up to you in the hallway.
"Hey!" she chirps, leaning around to look at you when you stop but don't turn around. If anything, you curl further into yourself. She doesn't notice though—the only ones who would notice your change are the ones who know to look for it. Charlie, bless her heart, doesn't have that earthly world experience yet. "Do you want us to wait up for you or…?"
"Oh, uh, no," you stammer out, yearning for a big hoodie to comfortably drown in or a cup of tea, the idea of which sounds lovely but you don't even like tea. Everything that would normally feel like a treat sounds stressful or unappetizing, leaving you uncertain about what exactly you're meant to be doing. That's when the lethargy hits hardest. "I don't feel well, so I'm just gonna rest for a while."
Charlie's brow scrunches. You can tell she's about to argue that you'll never get into Heaven if you don't stick to the exercises and something akin to a sudden flash of anger roils in your chest, kicking the dead gray weight of apathy in the teeth. Because how dare she question your commitment, your hopes, your dreams, because you're walking away this one time?
But if this is like life, if this can happen again now, how many more times will it happen? Is it over for you?
Something clicks behind her eyes though as she watches your face. You don't know this, of course, but she's seen the same look on Vaggie's face before. Primarily right after they found each other—Vaggie also fell into a pit of her own pain and trauma, a victim of her new normal until the new normal became preferable.
And, on those days, Vaggie didn't always want to be with Charlie. At some point, Charlie had to learn that it often had nothing to do with her when that happened, too. It helped her understand her father better, too, in the end. She'd needed to reach out to him, but she'd had to let Vaggie come to her when she was ready. Both were valid approaches for different people.
She decides to trust that you'll make it clear to her what you need when you're ready.
"Okay," she says and her kind voice spears your anger with guilt, killing it instantly. You were always good at that, weren't you? Pushing away the people who care. "You have my number. You have everyone's number—well, everyone with a phone anyway. Just let us know if you need something. Anything. Okay?"
You clench your teeth to hold back the burn of tears working its way up your throat. "Okay. Thanks, Charlie," you say and it comes out as sincerely as you mean it, which is good. At least something's gone right today.
"Would you like a hug?" Charlie offers, starting to hold out her arms and then hesitating when she wonders if that could feel like she was pressuring you.
You think about it and decide it's worth a try. "Sure," you say and you step into her arms. She runs even hotter than the other sinners you've met, being Hellborn. It's like cozying up just a couple inches too close to a fireplace, but it doesn't burn. She just feels like the hearth in the place that's swiftly become your home.
She doesn't let go before you're ready, but the second she feels you shift to step back, she lets her arms drop. She gives you a little wave before scampering back down the hall to resume the exercise in the lobby, leaving you to resume your trek to the elevator.
Once you're in the elevator and you've tapped the button for your floor, you fall back against the wall of the lift and run your hands down your face, sighing into your palms.
What you wouldn't give for an on-paper, calculable test that you could fill out and hand to a doctor or psychologist or someone who could tell you with complete certainty what's wrong with your brain and how to fix or endure it. Not only so you could feel better, but so you wouldn't be such a burden to your new friends, your found family. What good were you like this?
(The reality is that the group downstairs is mildly concerned, but otherwise just fine. Charlie can manage the exercise through sheer optimism alone and she has enough bandwidth to do that and be available to you as your friend whenever you need something.
A couple of the others noticed your deflated exit, perhaps because they've once been through similar episodes, and are either just hoping you feel better or trying to come up with some nice gesture to make whenever they see you next. Everything you're worried about or sure you've messed up is a product of your dopamine-deficient brain.)
You pass Angel in the hall on your way to your room as he's heading out for work and he, of course, knows that look. He just hasn't seen it on you before. He offers you a many-armed hug and what he tells you is a Xanax, telling you to text him if you need anything or just want to talk and he'll check on you whenever he's freed from the studio next.
You appreciate his offers and agree to all of it, except the unwrapped, unlabeled pill, which you get rid of once you're in your room. You trust Angel, but you're too paranoid about making whatever you're feeling worse. You barely knew how to deal with it in life, what's it going to be like in Hell?
A stretched-out old hoodie is procured from your closet and you tug it on, smoothing your hair back down as you amble toward the bed. You burrow under the blankets and try to sleep, but of course it doesn't come. You're not tired, after all. You're not even sad. There's just nothing where there's meant to be something, anything in your chest.
Hours pass and, even though you're not helping yourself by lying curled on your side and staring at the wall, you're listless. You can't talk yourself into getting up or getting something to eat. It's even hard to convince yourself to look at your phone, maybe because you've heard it buzz a few times with texts likely asking how you're doing. You don't want to answer them until it's a good answer. Until you can say you're doing better. Anything else is a disappointment, surely, for all involved.
Someone's knuckles rapping against your door makes you jolt, but you sink back into that unsteady feeling of mentally treading water instead of answering. They'll go away if they think you're sleeping. It's probably Charlie anyway, maybe checking on you ahead of dinner. Was it really almost dinnertime?
That was enough to motivate you to extract one arm from beneath the duvet, extend your hand to your phone, and tap the screen to wake it up. It was after dinner. Time was a construct and someone was still at the door, knocking more sharply now.
You bundle your arm back under the bedding, keeping your back to the door. Charlie wasn't that hard of a knocker, so maybe she'd sent Vaggie up to check on you? Husk tended to pound on doors with the side of his fist (and not come near any potentially weepy situation with a ten-foot pole), so it probably wasn't him. It might be Angel, you supposed. Short studio session, if so. Perhaps Pen, but the source of the noise was too high up to be Niffty. She'd barge on in anyway…
"My dear, I can hear you moving around in there, you know," the Radio Demon's voice informs you through the door and your heart nearly stops a second time.
Not Alastor, you sigh inwardly, covering your face in your hands again and trying not to groan lest he hear that, too.
It wasn't that you disliked Alastor. In fact, that wasn't the case at all. You'd been a bit scared of him at first, sure, when you'd initially crossed the threshold of the Hazbin Hotel and who could blame you? He was an imposing figure, someone you'd heard of within days of falling into Hell despite his seven-year sabbatical from the Pentagram.
He was also a prominent public figure from his radio show. That was how you'd first tried to get to know him a little better—you'd started tuning into his broadcasts, getting better at predicting the shrill screams of the souls he tore apart just before they blared through your speakers. You still missed them on occasion and would violently jolt upward from wherever you were sitting or lying while listening, floundering for the volume dial and usually finding it well after you needed it.
Alastor had spotted you do exactly that once during a prerecorded broadcast and, after he'd run the gambit of jokes he could make at your expense, the barrier that had existed between you two since your arrival started to come down. And while the jarring screams hadn't stopped, your radio's volume would inexplicably drop on its own ahead of them from then on. You couldn't come up with any explanation for this that didn't include Alastor's influence, but what may have been a kindness on the Radio Demon's part was directly rivaled by his then-new penchant for bursting out of the speakers in a swirl of shadow to scare you, himself, and ask you for feedback on the day's stories.
Those interruptions had become short bouts of small talk in the hall, a couple of cooperative efforts to cook the crew a delicious dinner, him holding doors for you whenever you happened to be traversing the hotel in the same direction… Little things. Lots of little things that had ended up with you considering him a friend, but who knew how he felt. He probably just thought you were amusing. What made it even worse was that you were beginning to suspect the extra pitter-patter of your heart whenever he showed up was no longer adrenaline anticipating him scaring you, but butterflies.
You poor thing. You weren't sure you could've picked a more surefire way to make a fool of yourself.
"I'm not decent," you finally say in an attempt to deter him, wincing a little at the hoarse quality of your voice. You'd only cried a little during your time in your room that day, but you'd cried hard. Partially in an effort to exorcise some of the bad feelings you were harboring, but it hadn't helped much.
"Well! Under all those blankets, I wouldn't even know, now would I!"
You squeak as you startle so much from hearing his staticky voice right behind your head that you end up in a heap on the floor between the wall and your bed.
By the time you untangle yourself from the duvet and pop your head out of the heap, he's maneuvered himself to the edge of the mattress and is peering over it while lying on his barely existent stomach. A thin, but amused smile curls his lips as his legs idly kick behind him like he's a high school girl at a sleepover.
"Was that necessary?" you ask, any amount of riling up he'd done with his sudden entrance falling away from you as your slump saps it of its vigor in one go.
Alastor's brows rise into his fringe, clearly a little caught off-guard. You can understand why—you usually either laugh or, if he gets you badly enough, clutch your chest and scold him for nearly causing your second death via a heart attack.
He tilts his head at you as his eyes narrow and you can't tell if he's confused or zeroing in on his prey. Honestly, in your current condition, you can't get yourself to care. Maybe he'll put you out of your misery for your cheek.
"Mm, I deemed it so," Alastor says, his luminous red eyes blinking down at you as he leans forward ever-so slightly. He's clearly on edge and you digest this as a display of annoyance, but he's concerned (and doesn't like that he's concerned). He's never seen you like this. "Are you ill, cher? It's quite unlike you to miss dinner."
"In a matter of speaking," you allow as you stand up, brush yourself off, and gather up your duvet into a large wad in your arms. You maneuver it back onto the bed and into a sort of nest you can return to, careful not to jostle or accidentally touch Alastor as he remains partially prone across the foot of the bed and watches you work. Mindful of how little he likely knows about mental health, given his time period, you explain in a few words, "My brain is sick."
He blinks, not sure what to make of what you've said. "Your…brain?" he repeats uncertainly. "How so?" Alastor also deems himself "sick in the head," but he's fairly certain that his brand of insanity isn't what you're referring to in yourself.
You nestle into the duvet, missing how his eyes soften a touch at how small you look right now. You take a deep breath and let it huff out as you force yourself to look at him. If he just wants to torment you a bit, this will expedite him getting it out of his system so you can go back to your staring contest with the wall. If he's not just here to make fun of you…well, then that would be surprising.
"I have depression," you finally admit and you wonder when the last time was that you said those words out loud. Even in life, it was a rare moment when you'd be met with someone who was worth explaining yourself to—most people either didn't understand because they'd never been through it themselves or because they didn't want to understand. Over time, you'd just given up trying to be honest about your struggles because being demeaned or invalidated for them just made you feel worse.
"A what now?" Alastor asks, cocking one brow as he turns to lie on his side with his head propped against one hand. His fluffy ears twitch a little but stay upright, alert, and turned in your direction.
"It's a mood, uh…ailment," you explain, thinking he might not know what a "disorder" is either. You're not familiar enough with what terms people would've used to refer to mental health in his time, so you're overcareful with the words you choose. "My brain chemistry wasn't right in life—my body didn't produce enough of the chemicals that make us feel happy, so I'd get into really bad slumps. Exhausted, sad, sometimes just numb slumps. Apparently that came down here with me, too."
"So…you're in a 'slump'?" he repeats slowly, testing the word you'd used on his tongue.
In moments like this, you find him unbearably cute—from his twitchy ears made restless by the rate of his thoughts to his wide, considering eyes as he tries to absorb what you're telling him. He's a very good listener when he's not in the middle of a bit.
"Yes," you tell him and he relaxes slightly at the confirmation. "I feel dead inside, honestly. Which is funny to say now that I'm actually dead, but it's just… I just don't feel much of anything. Or I do and it just feels empty and hollow. That's kind of worse than feeling sad."
He hums and offers, "A smile is our greatest weapon, dear. We've discussed this."
"Not against this, it's not," you sigh, just waiting now for him to get frustrated or bored with you. "I'm not trying to be difficult, Al, I swear. It's just… I can't fake what I'm feeling. I've tried! I wish I could mask half as well as you can, but it's hard. It takes energy I just don't have in times like this."
Alastor evaluates you with a glance and asks, "Then what is your weapon of choice against these…slumps?"
You tug against the seam of the duvet wrapped around you, all nervous fidgeting. "I never really figured anything out," you admit and it feels like a failure. It feels like because you can't offer him a solution to your problem, your problem must not be a problem. You remember so many exasperated faces looking back at you at times you'd admit the very same. He just looks at you though, clearly thinking. "Sometimes just waiting for it to pass was the answer. I was on medication for it at one point, but it never helped very much. I know I need to eat, but I just feel a bit nauseous when I think about food."
"Then food should be on the docket, certainly, but perhaps not just yet," he muses, sitting up as he continues to regard you. "What else?"
You throw your hands up helplessly. "I'm not sure. I'm sorry," you say. "Maybe I need to go hug Charlie again or something, that didn't fix anything earlier, but it didn't hurt."
Alastor scoffs. "Is my comfort not up to your standards, dear?" he needles you, his tone confident even as his smile wavers slightly.
You blink and shake your head even as you scramble to try and understand what he's implying. "Of course not," you quickly say. "I just… You don't have to do that kind of stuff, you know? I know it's uncomfortable for you and I'd never want to make you uncomfortable."
He chuckles and a mischievous smirk overtakes his features as he leans in and pulls you toward him via the duvet, taking an indulgent look at the blush reddening your face before he tightens the blanket cocoon around you and adds his arms to the equation after. You get the hint not to take your arms out and touch him and you're not even sure you could if you wanted to. You're frozen in place, comically close to a deer in headlights, and you can feel the heat inflaming your cheeks.
It's nice to feel something for the moment.
"Um… Alastor?" you ask, stopped from looking up at him when his pointed chin settles against the crown of your head. "You… Why?"
"Why, what?" he asks, but it's just to put off answering and you have some inkling that this might be the case despite his casual tone.
"Why are you doing this?" you ask, embarrassed by how vulnerable you sound to yourself.
"I can't have you sat here in one of your 'slumps' by yourself, darling," he mused, one of his hands absently tracing over your back.
It takes a lot for you to not lean into the touch, but you're terrified of scaring him off. You're also terrified of overthinking this though, especially as he settles in around you, his larger body usually used to intimidate and tower over others making you feel oddly safe. Then again, even in his most antagonistic moments with you, have you ever felt in danger?
"Why not?" you ask softly.
"You ask a surprising number of questions over something so simple as this," Alastor notes and his words cause a puff of warm breath to stir your hair. You shiver a little and he chuckles.
"But it's not simple for you," you murmur, letting yourself relax a bit as he impatiently tugs you closer to fit you against his chest. He's certainly not as gentle as Charlie, but you imagine he's far less practiced in this sort of thing than she is. It hits you harder because you know he's trying. And perhaps because you—silly, silly you—have a tragic little crush on the Radio Demon. "And… Well, I appreciate it. That's all."
Alastor hums and admits, "It's simpler than expected. And not unwelcome." You feel his chin shift against your crown, like he might be looking down at you, as he asks, "Is it helpful? Or is dear Charlotte's attention still preferable?"
You have to bite your lips a little to keep from smirking—that sort of tone can only indicate that he's jealous. Once again, you find him unbearably cute and it'll likely one day lead to your second untimely demise once he realizes how you feel.
"Yes, it's helpful. And preferable," you confess and you can almost feel his chest puff with pride. "This is really nice. Thank you."
"You're most welcome, dear," he says, glancing down and watching you cave to fatigue and fall asleep as he feels your weight settle further into his chest.
Alastor chuckles and gives you time to fully settle into a more restful state before he shifts your body around and situates you on your bed. He'd first considered staying, but figures having something for you to eat at the ready when you wake is a better use of his time. At least that's the reason he gives himself to go.
The truth is he can't remember the last time he honest to goodness comforted someone. There's a tickle in the back of his brain, a voice asking if he's losing his edge. Asking if you'll see him now as less than he is, which (in his mind) is a sadistic, cannibalistic overlord and nothing more.
He can't deny though that he's savoring the lingering warmth from your body on his coat. And, as much as he doesn't understand these "slumps" or the depression you referenced, he didn't like seeing you look so sad.
And he supposes if he must occasionally soften his sharp edges a bit to help keep his favorite guest present and smiling, it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.
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chrrychills · 5 months ago
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i loved you like the sun .
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aiden clark « relationship hcs!
•he's so considerate. even if he doesn't show it, he's always checking up on you silently. if there's something wrong, he knows and he makes it his personal mission to make you smile, laugh, or just take your mind off of the situation
•dates are all over the place. most of the time, aiden likes to plan activities. skating, rock climbing, messing around at ungodly hours of the night are all very common dates. other times, though, he's down to stay in.
•lives for sleepovers/movie nights. he loves cuddling up on the couch with some move (it's either garfield or one of the spiderman movies) playing in the background. he has an awful habit of talking during movies, but you can never stay mad at him for long.
•let's you do his makeup/hair. he just likes having you close while you two giggle like schoolgirls at the makeup on his face or the pigtails in his hair. he will leave it on for an embarrassing amount of time, probably until you take it off of him.
•baking dates, but aiden can't bake to save his life. he usually lets you do all the actual baking while he hangs off of you like a koala or tinkers with something on the other side of the kitchen while talking animatedly about some random topic.
•he doesn't admit it, but you stress him out. especially in the phantom realm. if you're as reckless as he is, he's constantly watching over you so you didn't get hurt. if you did? he's losing his mind. internally, of course, but still losing his mind nonetheless. after the ceiling incident, he stays much closer to you.
•your biggest hype man. constantly showering you in compliments, even if you look like you had just dragged yourself through a mile of mud. you'll catch him (shamelessly) staring a lot, too. he just likes to take in your features, memorize the small details that no one notices at first glance.
•likes it when you help him bleach his hair. one, because he doesn't want to do it himself, and two, he gets to spend time with you. if you like to dye your hair, he'd definitely help you, too!
•doesn't like spooning. would rather have you facing him– he likes looking at you. he also moves around a lot in his sleep, so you'll most likely wake up either kicked off the bed or limbs tangled with his.
•drools. it's insane how much of a messy sleeper he is. if he's asleep and you're cuddling, there's a 75% chance he'll drool on you. also a blanket hog. overall– not fun to share a bed with.
•"accidentally" leaving clothes at your house for you to wear. you passingly mention how soft his hoodie is? he's left it on your bed. his reasoning is that he can always buy more; why not let you keep it?
•loves to spoil you. not in the usual way, though. he'll spend his money on trinkets like matching keychains or a stuffed animal that reminded him of you. likes buying you jewelry, too. he thinks it looks pretty.
•is actually so corny. it's embarrassing. will absolutely call you corny nicknames in public just to embarrass you. he thinks it's the funniest thing in the world.
•overall a dork who just loves you a lot. 9/10, he gets a point docked for being a gross sleeper.
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zomb-rabbit · 6 months ago
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Rabbit
Rabbit I'm begging you to do stalker headcanons with Mh or EMH guys (you don't gotta ofc! But w o ah)
🐟
AAAA IM SO HAPPY U LIKED THEM !!!! I WAS RLLY HAPPY W HOW THE TOBY ONES CAME OUT :)))) also,,,, watch me hit u w ALL the guys !!!!!!!!!!!!!! (nsfw can come later if u wish fishy, i skipped it cus this is alr a super long post BFJSJFNJS) (also i got to use my rainbow dividers i have saved up cus there's so many ppl YAYYYYYYY)
[📹⛓️‍💥🚬👁️☠️🐇]
Stalker!Brian Thomas / Hoodie / Tim Wright / Masky / Evan Myers / HABIT x gn!reader headcanons :)
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Brian ;
ok we know Brian likes to record
so expect there to be at least one camera on you a majority of the time
sometimes he'll leave it in a tree or placed just right behind a fence post, zoomed in on your bedroom window so he can document you and your routine even when he's busy
he's so thoughtful 😸😸😸
definitely the type to perfectly curate a "meet-cute" for the both of you, writing down the coffee place you stop off at on mondays for a pick-me-up, the stores you go to that have your favorite brand of something, he calculates his every action with you long before it's happened.
he knows what he's doing is wrong, but unlike Toby, he's not exactly ashamed of it. if anything he likes the added excitement that you could still find him out
this is one of the times him and Hoodie kind of blur together a little bit, both in morals and actions
Brian is fully willing to do whatever it takes to keep eyes on you and to keep you under his thumb and his alone; it doesn't matter who gets in his way
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Hoodie ;
also a big fan of recording, but tends to get much more risky with it
likes the feeling that you might catch a little camera that's nestled in between some trinkets and books or a pile of blankets you keep on your couch
he is a creepy creeper . he wants to watch EVERYTHING
gets his feelings hurt when you close your curtains cus you feel eyes on you (you're right, but still :(()
it takes a lot to deter him from doing everything in his power to keep watch over you
he's not even sure of his own motives, really. sure, he wants to keep you safe and make sure no one else is watching you, but most of the time he's just there to watch.
you're like a doll to him, something to entertain him.
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Masky ;
this isn't even part of this i just wanna say the vibe for stalker Masky (and just him in general tbh) for me feels a lot like the intro to My Meds Aren't Working by Dystopia . very slow, calculating, stuck in your own head but still zeroed in on one thing
and it's you ofc !!!!
i think Masky is one of the more scarier guys to have stalking you on this lineup honestly. hot? yes absolutely. terrifying to see constantly out of the corner of your eye, sitting at the bus stop outside your job, standing in the parking lot of the gas station by your apartment complex and staring up into your window? YES VERY
he's haunting. he doesn't go up to you, will go completely brick wall at you if you try to come up to him, and you can never tell what emotion is going on behind his eyes. the few times you've walked closer to him, likely on the street in the earlier stages, he looked hungry. like he was waiting and watching for your guard to be down to do something.
if he knows you'll be out, he'll get into your house to steal some of your clothes- likely your underwear (creepy crawler) and a sleep shirt
you will never see him without the mask on. point blank. not to smoke, eat, anything. he is not human or himself when he's around you; he needs to absorb everything about you.
i don't think of him to be the type to film you, would rather be there in person 24/7. it feels more personal to him.
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Tim ;
one of the few guys that feels guilt about what he's doing- he knows how scary it is to feel watched all the time. how awful it is to find out you were right.
he’s embarrassed of himself; he’s prided himself on being stoic and independent for so long that this sudden urge to love you and watch you and know you gives him waves of shame
watches from afar, would definitely try and avoid letting himself get too close to you in person. he’s ashamed of it, but he can’t help himself- he needs you, even if at a distance. 
steals clothes you’ve slept in so he can try and satiate his yearning to be close to you without actually needing to be so vulnerable, with you or anyone
his near dependency on you reminds me of It Will Come Back by Hozier, his obsession is fed by breadcrumbs from the few in-person up close encounters he’s had with you. smiles when he comes into where you work, nervous little waves when you catch him looking at you at the store, soft 'excuse me!'s when you pass by him
you drive him up a wall (lovingly)
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Evan ;
Evan feels guilty, but for the ‘wrong’ reasons
i say ‘wrong’ because he’s more concerned with you inevitable introduction to the whole Habit mess, not with the morals of stalking and obsessing over you
despite his guilt, he can’t get enough of you. his persistence rivals Brian's; it’s almost immediate that he tries to get you with him
latches onto you for fear of you leaving- honestly less of a stalker and more on the obsessive side. not good at keeping his hands to himself. 
you might be one of the only cases where he tries to bargain and/or work with Habit, in an attempt to keep you safe or keep you near him out of desperation if you're not listening to him when he tries to convince you to stay with him essentially 25/8
touchy obsessive little critter . give him what he wants before he goes sicko mode (being 10 feet away from you at all times)
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Habit ;
does not hide himself AT ALL
will actively be letting you know he's watching
seeing him behind you in mirrors, rabbit motifs everywhere, a random blood splatter in plain sight that no one else seems to see.
he watches, he knows, and he learns
what things make you the most paranoid, all the ways he can slowly introduce himself in a more. friendly light to get you to trust him. to love him.
he's what's best for you, whether you like it or not. it just might take some time for you to get there
ironically for him, think 'The Best Is Yet To Come' by Frank Sinatra. it's just a matter of time before things get so much better. for the both of you, of course!
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seventhcallisto · 1 year ago
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Chapter 111 — "meet me halfway."
—Deep Down.
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Toc/cw: I want to apologize for the title, but I'm not going to *evil cackling*. Reader is oblivious fr. I love karaoke, you love karaoke, we all love karaoke. Cringe karaoke scene, but idc, karaoke is sexy. You can not tell me ateez doesn't love to be coddled and loved on. suggestive, kissing, yes. kissing. This chapter is all over the place I apologizeeeeee.
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A lot of things can happen in the span of two weeks. You know that more than anyone. The boys aren't mad. For some reason, they aren't upset with you either. You want to ask why, but you like the way things have almost gone back to normal. Almost.
It's a week before your heat. You don't think about the effects that are gonna start taking place soon.
Consistently, mingi takes over your bed almost every night and is back in his by the morning. When you ask why, he gets embarrassed. "Can't i sleep in your bed?" You don't know if he gets up because someone keeps kicking him out, or it's just mingi wanting to give you space. You dont live in mingis' mind, so you'll never know. You share the left side with him. It smells just like mingi, lots of mingi, so much so you have the hintest smell of him on you in the morning, sea salt and jasmine. He also moves way too much, yet he somehow never kicks you.
If you happen to wake up in the middle of the night, you will definitely find him with his arm over your head, and you tucked into his chest. If you can, you'll scoot over before he notices. And by the time you wake up, he'll be gone.
Luckily enough, you're the only one with a single room. Everyone else has to share.
You rub your tired eyes stepping out of your bedroom. The sun glares around the living room right across from your door. You take your time walking over to the couch where jongho, wooyoung, and yunho stare at the screen. Each of their eyes shift to you as soon as you pop up from the side of it.
Bed hair, pajamas, and all of it in-between. You don't even flinch. They've seen you like this plenty of times before. There's not much room, so you take a spot on the carpeted floor. "What are you doing?" Wooyoung whines, leaning over jonghos' lap to pull at your shirt. Jongho looks used to him doing that, but he stares along with yunho at you. "I'm sitting," you pout back, pushing his hand off, not yet fully awake.
"Get on the couch, don't sit on the floor!" He leans further, tugging on you some more, his lip juts out, showcasing his true displeasure at the idea of you sitting on the floor. "No," you turn away, pulling out of his grip. You lay on the white carpet, arm tucked under your head. Wooyoung harshly whispers to himself. You know he's probably cursing at you for being stubborn.
It's the big break before the agonizingly long comeback. Actually, thanks to you, the deadline has been pushed back to accommodate the time off for your heat. The media doesn't know that. They only know you are still getting medically evaluated. You miss being okay enough to perform. You'll get that chance as soon as this is all over. And then you'll show them a real performance.
A heavy weight begins pressing on you, and you huff out your air, turning towards the couch. Slowly, wooyoung had crawled all the way over jongho(again, jongho doesn't flinch), and now he's lowering himself over you. Squishing you with his full weight.
On his back is a white blanket. He wraps it around you both. You have to turn on your hip and lay on your back so he doesn't crush you sideways in an awkward plank. "Woo," you groan. "You're crushing me," you pant out, pushing on his chest. He's got the sneakiest of grins on his lips. You're leveled at his chin. His leg falls over your hips, caging you in between his hoodie clad body and the grey sweat shorts he's wearing.
"I told you to get on the couch," he says matter-of-factly, resting on his palm that folloes his elbow right next to your head. This is very wooyoung to do to you, crush you with his body weight, and tease you mercilessly. You pout. "I didn't want to get on the couch" you squint your eyes at him.
"And I didn't want to get on the floor," he sighs, smiling through his pout. His head falls over you. His chin tucks you into his chest. You've escaped this hold before, but you are still tired, and wooyoung is a furnace compared to the cold wood that soaks through the carpet and nips at your back. Your singular arm that you can wiggle out wraps around his strong waist and sits on his back hips. The exposed skin there gets to you, and the closeness of his neck scent glands makes you want to sink further into him.
You rub soothing circles on his hip, unconsciously. Wooyoung takes a deep breath, the air from his nose hitting you on the top of your head. The TV is what everyone's attention is on. Yunho chews whatever snack he's gotten a hold of from the kitchen, jongho tucks himself into the free space wooyoung left. And you and wooyoung are taking synchronized breathes.
All is well in the stillness of the morning.
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Touchy, touchy lately are you and all of the guys. Even yeosang. Especially yeosang. Which - wow, really? Yeosang? Yes. Yeosang.
The practice room floor is another area you find yourself lying on randomly. You've caught up on all of your moves and anything you needed to drill into memory. At this point, you're just waiting for everyone to catch up. You watch them through the mirror, the echoing of the music thumping off the floor. Yeosang takes a seat next to you. He sits criss cross, leaning on his hands. His green and black hair frames his face.
You scoot up to place your head on his thigh, curling into his side. Your phone is in hand. Yeosang pushes it to the side with the back of his fingers, getting your attention. You look up to him. His smile is small. You know that look he has when he has a question to ask.
".. Where'd you go the first day after your heat?"
And there it is, surprisingly, yeosang is boldly asking. You turn into him further, sliding your phone down into your sweater. You bury your face into him. Mumbling into his shirt. "What?" He asks, grabbing the back of your head. His hand palms your stray hairs down. He didn't hear what you said.
"I went to the girls.." You grumble, peeking for his reaction. If he had one, you couldn't tell. Yeosangs hand falls into a rhythm, patting and brushing your hair down. He pulls a piece of hair behind your ear, blinking down at you nonchalantly.
"Did you.." yeosangs words fall out. He takes a deep inhale. "Did you call on them?" He whispers, his hand trails to your back. You shake your head quickly, "No.. no," you sigh, closing your eyes. "Actually, I didn't know who to call.. Ghostbusters?" You laugh at your own pathetic joke, yeosangs smile brightens up, a small huff of laughter as well. You turn to lean on your back, pushing his green hair behind his own ear.
"I didn't know who to call on." You repeat, your hands fall to your chest. "Hook up culture scares me, and I'd rather bite my tongue off," you laugh, he smiles. Yeosangs smile is something you'll never get used to, never get sick of. If only you knew he felt the same way about your smile. "Not a fan either," he mumbles. His spread out hand rests on your stomach. You take his palm in your own, wrapping both of your hands around it, and you turn back on your side facing him.
He watches you fiddle with his fingers, pressing them against your own. You hear him inhale before he goes to speak. San cuts him off, with the smack of his palm against yeosangs shoulder. He takes his place by your hip. He pulls your legs onto his lap, holding them flush to his waist. The bend is awkward until you shift back onto your back. "Done already?" You tease, looking at the way sweat drips from his forehead.
"Done? We're just getting started," he laughs.
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You love karaoke. Especially on nights like this. Where all the guys aren't extremely tired and willing to put up with mingi, you, and wooyoung begging for it. Especially you. Most definitely you. You love getting your way. Sparkling mic in hand, swaying to the funky but loveable beat of the early 2000s.
"Can you meet me halfway? Meet me halfway." You belt, leaning into it. Laughter consumes you. You take the stage in front of the led screen by yourself even though it's a duet. You know the english lyrics like the back of your hand, but the guys don't. So you're solo on this one.
The rap is your specialty. You put your own spunk on it, swaying your hands and hips to the beat. The all familiar urge to run your hand all the way down yourself to emphasize your deep feelings for the lyrics. The sweats hongjoong gave you to wear hang low on your hips.
"Right at the borderline is where I'm gonna wait- for you -" You point at the guys on the couch, piled up and cheering you on. All eyes once again fall on you, but you're still in your own little world. You're so very grateful you do this for a living. You miss touring. You sway back and forth, getting into the groove.
Your hips follow their own path, and you'd surely have a career in belly dancing with the hip control you have. You lean over, singing into the mic.
"I want you so bad- it's my only wish." You finish off, with twenty seconds of instrumentals you decide to just dance the rest away. Back and forth, you twirl and fall into a rhythm. Eyes closed. The led lights from the tv shape you out perfectly. Swaying back and forth because you're kinda embarrassed that you got so into it.
You take a deep breath, the mic falling to your side as you hold it in your hand. You lean back, looking over your shoulder for the killing pose. You don't even mention the stares. When you bow, everyone seems to shake out of their trance, cheering loudly to the point you know there will be noise complaints.
"Thanks. I'll be here all night!"
You pass the microphone off to wooyoung. Stealing his spot on the squished couch, San is on your left, and on his left is yeosang. On your right is hongjoong, and on his right is yunho. San slips closely, his thigh presses into yours, and you wiggle out of the squish zone. When you do, you semi-slip onto his lap. His hip holds your leg up to the point that you have to shift your other leg under you to get comfortable. You try but fail.
"San, scoot over." You huff, he stops talking to yeosang and turns towards you. He tries buts its no use, yeosang even attempts to help, he gives up though and covers his hand over his mouth to hide his smile. There's no more room on the couch, "sorry" san laughs, "wow, laughing at my misery, thanks" you try to lift your hips, struggling through the cushions and trying to avoid accidently smacking someone with your elbow. San is scooting the best he can, denying your claim with a pout. Wooyoungs voice begins with mingis, an energetic song they scream and laugh to.
"Here," san grabs you, his fingers spread over your waist and hips. He spreads his legs so you can sit between them. He lifts you like you weigh absolutely nothing. You try to help, but he's just moving you and himself to the point that you both are comfortable. He scoots flush to the couch, giving you as much room as possible so you dont squish or rub up against his.. Bits, you're assuming. It's comfortable enough that you don't have to worry about falling off the edge, but just to be safe, you lean back into Sans chest.
"Better?" He asks, his head falling over your shoulder, his breath fans your neck, pulling a slight shudder out of you. His thick arms tighten around your waist just under your boobs. You laugh, trying to ease the tension in your stomach, turning towards him. "we need a bigger couch," he laughs along, leaning over you, now watching wooyoung and mingi sing. San smells like white musk, wood, cedar, and earthy tones, deceitfully, there is the scent of dark chocolate under all of it. You lean into his shoulder, letting your head rest against it. His neck is right next to you, one slight turn, and you could kiss it.
You wiggle a bit, sans sharp breath next to your ear, makes you clear your throat. "Sorry." You lean forward, his hands move down to encircle your waist. Pulling you back. "It's fine, just.. don't move, please," he hushly says, squinting his eyes, his throat bobs when he swallows thickly. His cheeks are dusting pink from the corner of your eyes. The rest of the guys' hollering serves as background noise. Sans scent is a little heavier, but you can't tell if it's because you're so close. The deep chocolatey undertone makes your mouth salivate. You swallow it down. Sans hands are tight against you, pushing you as close as you can get, chest-to-back wise.
His left hand slowly slips down to your thigh. It perks there as if he's waiting for your approval. In front of everyone, distracted or not, San is showing a lot more affection than you know what to do with. You freeze when his breath fans your neck. His chin digging into your shoulder.
He's quickly ripping himself away from you. You jump when he begins clapping, hooting at their finished bow. Mingi lays on the floor spread out, and you laugh to ease the tension wracking your body. When did mingi even get on the floor? He pants and yells a jumble of words. Wooyoung pats his knee and walks back over. "I'm done," he says seriously, shaking his head. He takes his water off the table next to the couch on yeosangs' side.
He slips his muscular thighs onto your lap whilst he lays his whole body weight on yeosang. You stroke your fingers over the ever-growing patch of hair on his thigh, and wooyoung looks at you from the corner of his eyes. You can't distinguish the emotion on his handsome features. "Movie time?" Hongjoong asks, bringing your attention to him when he pats your arm.
For whatever reason, he's asking you specifically. "Yea, who's picking?" You ask, looking up at the taller alpha. His lip sticks out in thought. "You always have the best choices." You shake your head. "That's not true," you mumble, lips curling into a pout.
"Everyone here has good choices.. Oh! Let's all put a paper in a hat"
After coming out of his shared room, jongho won the draw, and because of it, he's pronounced as the winner of the night. He takes you with him on the couch, letting you curl into his side. His arm falls over your forearm, you have his hand in your own hands, his other arm props his head up on his fist. You lean almost completely into him, resting your head on his shoulder-chest zone.
You can see how his eyes grow distant with sleepiness. He's pushing through, though. You silently turn your head to him, "You can go sleep," you whisper. His eyes flutter to you, and he inhales gently, pulling his head off his palm to look at you straight. "No." He shakes his head. "It's okay if you're tired, I can just make an excuse-" "I want to be with you tonight." He's silent even as you stare. The TV flashes across his face when he takes your eyes with his. He means what he said.
His tired eyes shift down your face, landing on your lips. "Will you sleep in my bed?" He sighs out, staring with the heaviness in his eyes he usually saves for performances. His boba eyes shift from each of your own pupils. You inhale a breath, pulling your lips into a shy smile. "Yeah, do you want me to bring my stuffies too?" You say to make him laugh, his lip pulls up into a grin. He finally closes his eyes and rubs his fingers near the inner tear duct of his left eye.
"You can bring whatever, as long as you're there, I'm happy." He mumbles sleepily. You smile, standing up from the couch and stretching.
Whatever this situation you're currently in, you don't know what kind of friends do this or make it seem so romantic and domestic. Jongho just wants you to be comfortable, but you want him to be comfortable. So now, with your blanket and your childish stuffed whale(a fan gave you), you stand on the left side of jonghos' small bed. Arguing with him.
Jongho, just tired. Takes the floor with his blankets and bean bag in hand. "When you said sleep in my bed, I thought -.." You flush at your own assumptions. You can't see jongho on the other side. You can only hear him when he talks, shuffling to get comfortable. He stops abruptly at your words. Whispering in the dark. "You want to lay together?"
His roommates, hongjoong and wooyoung, are still currently watching the movie. They know you two have slipped off to bed. You didn't tell them exactly what you were doing, though. Secretly going to have a sleepover in the room where three alpha men sleep at night, the musk in the room is insanely drowning. You try not to dabble on the specifics of the scents.
"Yes, .. well- i did" you bite your own tongue. God, you sound so desperate right now. Begging jongho to share his bed with you and to actually lay with him in it. "Nevermind -" you take back, jongho stops you. Popping up from the right side of his bed. His hair is messy, eyes wide, but then reserved. He clears his throat. Smoothing his hand over the blanket and getting on it.
You stare for a few seconds. "Well?" He asks, his ears are beginning to turn red as each second passes. You bite your smile. Shuffling onto the bed next to him, you fall right into his side. But try to subtly shuffle yourself under the duvet. You wiggle to get comfortable. Jonghos bed is comfortable yes, but with him next to you. You're starting to think it's heavenly.
Jongho shuffles awkwardly, trying not to bump into you while he sits atop the comforter. You begin laughing into the blanket, watching him struggle to be polite in the tight spot that is his own bed. You sit up, letting the blankets pool around your waist. You reach over the left side of the bed where you dropped your own blanket. Jongho leans over to catch your arm.
"Careful," he clicks his tongue, and you swiftly reach up and let the blanket cascade down on jongho. A fuzzy royal purple blanket a fan also made for you. It smells exactly like your omega scent. Jonghos eyes widen for a split second. He clears his throat, throwing it around him until it reaches his neck.
"Thank you," he says shyly. You smile, digging yourself into his duvet once again. Jongho has a blanket that smells just like you, and you're under jonghos' blanket that smells like him. You don't forget he's right next to you, taking over your senses. You face him while he faces the ceiling.
"Jongho?" You call quietly, he hums, eyes shut. You bite your lip, withholding your question. Should you ask him now? When the question could make things awkward? But this back and forth thing with all of them, is it really something you'll be able to deal with when the time comes to not have them with you? You really want to know, though. Want to know what he's thinking and what they're all thinking. And now that he's at his sleepiest and most compliant, you want to ask more than anything.
"About my heat.. " You sigh and breathe deeply. "Would you have helped if you had known? in the practice room?" You whisper. Jongho shifts in his spot. You can see his hand clench over the blanket, it's silent for two minutes.
"Yea," he finally sighs out. "I would, of course, anything you'd need.. I'd get for you in an instance.. you wouldn't have to wait." You hear his breathing deepen.
"I'd take care of you." His sleepy voice says in the dark of the room. Your eyes fall over him again. His chest rises and breathes deep, slow, methodical breaths. Was he.. Asleep?
"Jjongie?" You lean up to look at him, squinting to adjust to the dark. He's completely passed out. The confession was from pure exhaustion. You wonder if he'll remember it in the morning. Your heart thumps loudly in your ears.
You have more questions than answers, Yet how are you gonna get real answers from everyone else without making it terribly hard?
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"Hongjoong," you laugh, pulling away from his tight grip, his fingers once again grip your sides. Dragging you along with him to his laptop, left open on the couch. "Just one minute of your time! Please!" He laughs out, calling your name in a chant. You've been avoiding feeding into hongjoongs overworking attitude, even when you guys are due to comeback and everything has been set in stone. He's still working. You don't even want to look at another screen of beats and codes and orange, red, blue blocks that distinguish what sound is which.
"I'm not going to be in the demo! We're supposed to be relaxing!" You scold, trying to grab his hands from your sides. "Please, you have the perfect set of vocals for it," he whines, begging for you to just say yes. "At least listen to it first. You know I value your opinion most." He lays it on thick, coercing you to say yes, he still tries to tug you away from your marching towards the kitchen.
You click your tongue, pushing at his hands again. "What's in it for me, huh?" You want a bribe. Holding onto the counter and anchoring yourself there. "Anything! I'll do anything!" He says quickly, jumping on the balls of his feet. Hongjoongs grasp is strong. You doubt he knows how hard his fingers dig into your sides. You throw your head back, turning in his grasp to look him in his eyes. "You said anything! No take backs!" You huff, pushing past him and sitting in his spot on the couch.
He follows right on your tail. He snatches the laptop off the spot and sits in it. Hongjoong fumbles with the headphones, slipping them onto your ears for you. You look at him, amused. He's ever eager to show you what he's been working on. "Intro," he gulps, moving his finger to click play.
The ever familiar distinction of beats and hums meet your ears. It changes, heavier this time. You can feel the rhythm in your bones, bopping your head along. You hold the headphones closer to your ears. Watching hongjoongs face to see what he's thinking, he stares at the laptop. Pushing on his lip with his tongue.
The rest of the song isn't as different. The beats change and mix up, but not so much so it's a complete change. When it's finished, hongjoong pauses. Looking up at you through his lashes. "So?" He asks. You smile, shaking your head as you slip the headphones off. "I like it"
The look in his eyes is familiar, the distinctive look of not thinking its enough. You've seen it plenty of times before in his eyes. And every time, he never takes what you say seriously. "I was thinking of switching the chorus with -" he rambles on. You watch him do so, listening silently. You hope he knows you're always listening to what he says. Your hand reaches out to his wrist, his hand stops clawing at the laptop.
He looks up, sighing heavily. "It's really good, hongjoong. I like the difference it has, the way things switch up." You say. Humming the beat back to him.
The sudden nostalgic feeling hitting you like a train drags you back to the memory of meeting hongjoong for the first time. When you barely knew a lick of Korean and he was trying his best to communicate to you about something he was working on. The first two trainees at KQ Ent. Communication was the hardest thing for you.
Hongjoong speaks in riddles to you. You don't know anything about South Korean traditions or mannerisms. Being here was impulsive, and the only person who could talk to you was the manager named jongsik. You nod along as if you get it, hongjoong moves papers off the desk he's at. Making some room for you. Young, immature you helps him do so, stacking the papers.
Once cleared off, hongjoongs chair bumps yours so he can grab the stack of papers you just organized. You hold onto the sides to balance it. He picks out sheets and shows them to you. Musical notes and hangul you can hardly read is messily scribbled on the page. You look up to him expectedly. His eyes shine back at you, locking you in the darkness of them.
He hums a tune under his breath, hoping you'll get it and follow it. You hum back, the same tune he just made.
Hongjoong looks down at your lips. He must have remembered the same fond memory you hold dearly. He hums the tune, eyebrows pulled taunt under the bangs of his brown hair. You smile at him. "It's perfect joong," you shut his laptop, taking it from his lap. He let's you, finally listening to what you say.
"You'll sing it then?" He asks, turning towards you. You run a hand down your arm, hiding the laptop behind you. "Mhm," you nod. Hongjoong smiles, going to reach behind you for his laptop.
You fall against the arm of the couch, caging it between you and the couch. "No, you can't have your laptop back - because! You promised!" You struggle against hongjoong attempting to pull it out from under you. He knees over you, placing it between your hip and the couch. "Let me check it real quick!" He whines, trying to dig his hands between your sides.
Theres a few seconds of you laughing at hongjoongs struggle and hongjoong huffing and laughing as well. Finally, he takes a deep inhale and laughs, his lips pulling into a grin. His hands are placed on either side of your head now as he leans over. "Okay, What's your wish?" he asks, huffing. His breath fans your face. Close in proximity.
"Uhm.." You pretend to think about it, placing your hands on his shoulders. You make eye contact, then look away. "I have .. a question," You mumble, pulling your hands off his shoulders. Hongjoong doesn't move from above you. He doesn't even notice what he's doing. Pressing his knee on the inner part of your left thigh whilst his other presses against your left hip, practically straddling you. You shuffle, pulling your left knee up. You lightly graze your knee against his stomach, just above the button on his jeans.
Hongjoongs throat bobs when he swallows dryly. His beautiful dark eyes look between your own otherworldly eyes. your hands fall on his forearms, glancing up at him. How do you ask what you need to ask? How?
"Can i kiss you?"
Your jaw falls slack, taking in a sharp breath. He's slowly turning pink around the ears. He takes his bottom lip between his teeth, looking between your eyes and your lips. "What?" You whisper. He takes a shuttered breath.
"Can I kiss you?" He asks again, more quietly this time, you hear the fabric scrunch next to your head from under his hard grip. You inhale slowly. Looking down at his own plump lips. Everything in this moment is real. You can feel the heartbeat in hongjoongs arm from your firm grip pounding against your fingertips. Your eyebrows scrunch.
How long have you both been waiting for this?
You quiet his racing thoughts, pulling him down into you. That should be a good enough answer, you think. Your lips smack dab into his, melding perfectly. Like they were designed to be there. You tilt your head up to hongjoong while he tilts his down into you. Meeting you halfway. His hand pulls you up into him. Placed gently at the base of your neck. It's odd. The taste on hongjoongs lips is heavy with vanilla. When you move in tandem, the blend of pear tingles your taste buds. Hongjoongs other hand holds him up, and yours fall around his neck, coddling him closer.
Hongjoong nostrils flare as he inhales, the sound bubbling in his throat. He softly prods your top lip with his tongue. You part for him. Letting him explore the cavern that's your mouth. The soft sound he lets out has you responding with your own. Eyebrows crease forward. This is suffocating in all the best ways, leaning into his touch and having him and only him consume you right now. The anxiety of the question completely lifts in hongjoongs embrace.
You pull back to breath, and he follows for one more. Just one, pulling your sticky lip with his own one final time. You heave in his presence. Eyes softly opening. Hongjoongs eyes are heavy, full of adoration, and unspoken words. He stares down at you. His breathing evens out softly. You take each other in. Both dazed.
"Is this real?" He asks, breathing softly. His eyes glance between yours, begging for the truth. You nod. "It's real, we're real." Your hand caresses the back of his neck, playing with the hair there. Hongjoong makes a noise, a somewhat strangled one. His hands curl into your waist, pulling you into him completely, gently. His head falls into your neck as he sinks down onto you. Falling onto your leg. Like you've just drained his soul. "Good," he murmurs, kissing your shoulder softly.
You pull him just as close. The silence doesn't hurt you, and neither does he say anything for a solid minute. "You didn't ask your question," he laughs into your shoulder, gently fanning his breath across your most sensitive spot. You smile. "You answered it already," you say, brushing the hair on the nape of his neck down. He sighs into you.
"What does this change?" You whisper. He pulls back, looking down at you. His hand once again brushes under your head as his elbow props him up. "Everything and nothing," he shifts between your eyes, honestly speaking. "This can be whatever you want it to be" he finishes.
You shake your head. "What do you want this to be?" You ask. He looks back down at your lips, then to your eyes. "I.." he tries to read your face. "I want this to be more," he whispers, putting his heart on the line.
"I want you. I want to be yours."
An alpha admitting such feelings, even when he's supposed to withhold them because its shunned. It's honest and completely true. When he wants to be taken in as a partner, your partner. The one seeking out instead of being sought out. He's the one asking you. Feelings the reversed roles. You nod, taking his words into your heart.
"I want you too. I want to be yours too." You whisper, leaning up to kiss the corner of his lip. "But.." You silently say, knowing you have to be true, he looks at you, worry in his frown. "I love you as much as I love all of our pack," you confess to the pack alpha.
"More than friends," your voice cracks, withholding the waterfall behind your eyes. They blur with unsheded tears. Hongjoongs face going blurring. His hand from behind your head comes up. Calling your name softly. you feel bad, like what you want can't be said. Like it's shameful. Hongjoong pulls away, grounding his knee back into the couch.
He's leaving, you think. He's doesn't think it's okay. Your lip trembles, and your eyes grow the most blurry.
Hongjoongs' hands come up to hold your face. His thumbs swipe under your eyes, pushing the tears out of your vision so you can see him clearer. "That doesn't matter to me," he frowns, and you inhale a sob. "I knew you did, I can tell. I don't mind sharing with them." he laughs towards the end, hoping to stop your silent tears.
"Don't cry," he shushes with a grin, pulling you back into him. You try to stop yourself. He kisses the side of your head multiple times.
He feels the same, and he's willing to involve the members into your very personal, very small, intimate pack dynamic beginning to blossom. God, are you special? You're so happy.
"They like you too, you know." he bites his lip, kissing your lips gently. "We all really like you. It's why we never say anything with the affection. Even if they don't know it, I can tell." He smiles. You don't believe him, the oblivious hongjoong. Cute, sweet, clumsy, captain hongjoong. "How can you tell?" You ask, rubbing your thumb down his cheek.
"Intuition," he hums.
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For 3 days, you've been keeping things under wraps with joong. You love him lots. But it's too early to say so. And it's especially hard to hide the flushed looks and the loving glances. You both are trying to find a way to get a confession from the rest of the guys or to see if they feel the same way about the situation. It's odd, though. Having hongjoong, your.. boyfriend? Go out of his way to personally help you know if your other group members like you.
You truly wonder if he does like the idea of sharing you amongst your group, not in a possessive way, more so in a theres-more-than-enough-of-you-to-go-around way
The new feelings are strange and scary, one wrong move. One slip up, and you're ruining your friendship you've worked years to build. You highly doubt that will happen, though. You doubt you will ever want to leave hongjoong. You hope he feels the same.
Lately, San and wooyoung have hit the town, coming back tipsy. You make it obvious you're taking care of them, leaving hangover pills and water by their bedside table like some worried sick roommate. You struggle as you turn San on his side. Frowning at the scent of alcohol on his clothes. You slip his blanket over him, watching his sleepy and droopy eyes blink up at you.
"Omega," san whines, reaching his hand out to grab you. You sigh and sit back on your heels. "Yes, san," you answer, grabbing his hand from mid-air. You've got to be quiet due to the other roommates in the room, passed out, and completely tired from a long day. "Wait," he slurs, kicking the covers off of him. "San!" You go to stop him. He doesn't care. You grab his arms to steady him, watching his face shudder as nausea hits him.
He leans right into your chest, digging his face into you. "'mega, i'll take care of you." You could almost laugh. You're currently taking care of incompetent san, who's completely blackout drunk, who definitely doesn't know what he's saying or that he's squishing his face as close to your boobs as he can get. "I know," you reassure. "Me and woo will do it..." he mumbles the rest under his breath.
"You and woo will do what, sanie?" You try to ask, watching him droop down into you, San does weigh a good amount based on how much muscle he's packed on lately. You haven't been hitting the gym, so you're somewhat struggling to hold him up right now. You huff as you lean him back over into the bed, he wraps his arms around your back, dragging you onto the bed next to him.
You sigh, trying to lean away. "Me, you, woo, maybe yeosangie," he mumbles "everyone" he sighs into your stomach. You feel the heat of his head pressed there. San digs his face into you some more, rubbing his head back and forth across you. Nonsense spills from his lips, and you wonder why you even tried to distinguish it.
"Don't go," he whines as he feels you attempt to pull away. "San, we both have to sleep," you explain the best you can. He shakes his head into your shirt, pulling back to look at you. "Stay," he says earnestly.
"Fine, fine," you grumble, slipping into the bed next to him. Your head leans up against his pillows, whilst his lays on your stomach, clenching into your side. At least he's not on his back where he could choke. But you don't want to think about him throwing up on you either. Your hand strums through his red hair, separating knots gently. Sans breathing evens.
You can hear him mumble every once in a while. His hand clutches your thigh, holding it to him as if you'll escape. Using it to ground himself from the world spinning. He calls your name softly, shifting his head further up to look you in the eyes. "Yes?" You answer back.
"I saw your papers," he sighs. "The heat assessment ones, with hongjoongs name on it" san sounds sober as he says it. Your eyes widen. You know you left that paper in your room. You know you hadn't properly hid it, and when hongjoong saw it in your room. He signed to with your permission. A growing flush to his cheeks as he did so, his beautiful signature locked into your paperwork.
"san, I -" he cuts you off. "Put our names down," he ushers, squeezing your thigh as he says it. He looks up, squinting his eyes. "I talked with Woo and Yeosang about it. They don't want to say it, so I will." he sits up, swaying. The bed dips under him.
His hands land softly on either side of you when he sits on your left. "You can put our names down, i want you to, they want you to, i- if you want to," he emphasizes every word.
"No one else, no other alphas, betas, whatever, no one other than our pack should touch you during your heat. You're off limits to everyone else. You're ours. And I'll bite their heads off for even thinking about it."
You don't think san can bite anyone's head off. But the way he says it is as if he's trying to be as scary as possible. Instead, he's whining through his words, and it almost sounds as if he's scolding you. His eyes squint at you, tapping your leg before he falls back over your stomach.
"If you want to." He says, making sure you know he's not taking the option away. He's just jealous it's even an option. "If you remember this in the morning, you can write your name on the paper, all of you," you make a deal, hoping this will stay and if it doesn't then you know san didn't mean it.
"I give you my full permission to write your names if you remember." You bite your lip. Is this right? You trust these guys more than anyone. More than any hookup, more than any alpha, you know. You know they will not break your trust. Because they're your pack. They're your members. If they don't want it, they don't have to sign it. They don't have to agree if they don't want to.
And you know if san remembers, he can have the choice to pretend he didn't or to go through with it.
You won't know until they sign it tomorrow.
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A/n; omg... leaving it on a cliffhanger again(I'm terrible)pls don't hate me this isn't proof read either ;"c next update will take more than a few days so I can gather the storyline and get everything ready before the big heat.(stay tuned)
taglist: @lelaleleb @bratty-tingz @0325tiny @smilefordongil @atinytinaa @yunholuvrsblog @ja3hwa @stopeatread @sousydive @voicesinmyhead-rc @giiouis @c4tboyxiao @eastleighsblog @doggopepper @uhhheather @hyukssunflower (if I forgot to tag you (I'm sorry I'm new to this) :( please lmk!!)
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hitomisuzuya · 1 year ago
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Scara sexting, I know he would be so so good at it <33
Scaramouche x fem! reader. Smut. Sexting. Very dirty texts. Masturbation. This is nothing but pure filth, honestly.
Oml 😳 He would so good at it. Good luck with your pulls tonight, everyone! And now, I give you the power of words.
It was very late at night. You were curled up in bed, reading a book when you felt your phone vibrate next to you, dinging that you had a text.
You awake? It was a text from Scaramouche.
I am. You texted back.
I'm horny. What are you wearing? That was Scaramouche, always quick and straight to the point.
Blushing, you threw the blanket off of you, angling your phone so you could take a picture. You were wearing a purple tank top with matching purple panties. You attached the picture to a text message. This. I was wearing one of your hoodies before I got into bed.
A few minutes later, Scaramouche texted back. You know I love it when you wear purple. Seeing you in it never fails to make me hard. Attached to the text was a picture of Scaramouche's cock, leaking precum. The sight of it made arousal start to dampen your panties.
You thought for a moment before texting back. What do you want to do to me? Stretching out on your bed, you waited for his response.
I want to hold your wrists above your head, rubbing your clit until you beg me to cum on my fingers. Make your cunt clench around the tips until you squirm and writhe.
You felt your clit throb just from reading the text. Can I suck on your fingers after I cum? You were tempted to start rubbing your clit as you waited for his response.
I'll make you choke on them while you whimper for my cock. Is the sight of it making you wet? A picture of Scaramouche's hand wrapped around his cock came with the text, his fingers massaging into the tip.
Your fingers dipped inside your panties, massaging your clit as you read his text. You took off your panties, spreading the lips of your pussy so he could see how wet you were. I'm always wet for you.
You could imagine how Scaramouche was groaning with need, his cheeks flushing with lust as he looked at your texts. A response came from him a few minutes later. Touch yourself and tell me what you want me to do to you. I practically cummed seeing your cunt spread like that, all for me.
Tugging your shirt over your head, you took a video of your hand trailing down between your breasts, pinching one of your nipples until you started moaning. You spread your lips for him again, rubbing and pinching your clit. You recorded every moan, pumping your fingers to the knuckle inside of you. I want you to fuck me dumb, Scara. Make me cum screaming on your cock. I'm throbbing for you, I'm clenching around my fingers, wishing it was your cock instead. Fuck me until I can't think straight. Make me call you Master while I beg to cum.
You hastily typed the text, and sent it to him. Putting your fingers on your clit again, you rolled your hips up, barely able to swallow back your moans as you waited for a reply.
Your hand shook, continuing to finger yourself when you read his reply. Fuck, I am so hard. I'm cumming in my hand as type this. I'll make you cum and you'll lick my cock clean, sucking the cum off of it while you praise and beg me to cream on my cock again. A video of him fisting his cock was attached, cursing and groaning as cum spilled into his hand. You could also hear quiet whimpers bleeding into his moans.
You sent another video of you desperately pumping your fingers in and out of you, bucking your hips up while you moaned and cried out for him. Please, Scara. I can't make myself cum.
A response came a few minutes later. Aw, my slut can't cum without me? You will be punished if you manage to cum before I get there.
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ieatkeyboard · 10 months ago
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What Obey Me brothers do for Valentines day
Note: I have a love-hate relationship with Valentines day but it's a really cute holiday! Hope you guys have fun :] Warnings: Sappy love, fluff
Lucifer: - It's cannon he's been in many relationships so I don't think it's his first rodeo - He cleans up your room while you're at work. Washes your bedding+other laundry, makes your bed and folds your laundry, does some vacuuming. -He doesn't go through your drawers or anything just tries to make it a bit neater so you can come home and not worry about cleaning up - He gets you gifts based on things you like. If you like to make jewellery he'll get a couple kits from a hobby store to make together. If you like comfy clothes, he'll customise a set of pyjamas for you, etc. - He'll jot down notes of things you like all January. He makes sure to ask at the beginning of January what your dream Valentines day activity would be in hopes you forget about it over the month - I feel like he wouldn't ask for what he wants but he enjoys doing things together. He's a bit of a sap so he uses Valentines day to show it more. - I feel like he'd be a sucker for roses. Get him white and red roses with a little note and he'll never forget it. - He might get you some little things on Valentines day if it's on a week day and use the weekend to do more. - He'd love make dinner with you but he has your favourite restaurant on standby in case Beel walks in- - Watching movies together in his room cause his bed is bigger, taking your blankets and pillows into his room cause you're spending the night there. -He tears up a little at the end of the night, when you're sleeping in his arms. He hopes this is the most memorable Valentines day you'll ever have
Mammon: - He's a sap but in the "idk what I'm doing" way - Anything he knows about you leaves his brain - He gets you flowers and chocolate and sprays his cologne on a hoodie for you - He'll probably take you for a drive and show you all his favourite places (Spoiler. It's the places you first met, took your first date at, had all your firsts at) - He'll cry remembering how it started. how you ended up in his life and all the things you've been through - He takes you through a drive through and you eat in the parking lot. He has your shared playlist playing quietly in the background while you both talk about your days and your memories together - I feel like he wouldn't need anything. He just wants you - But if you got him a new sweater or watch he was looking at, he'd be extremely happy. - I also feel like he likes sunflowers
Leviathan: - He's never had a Valentine before, he also would be too scared to ask - He'd slip a note under your bedroom door that says "Wanna be my Valentine?" and when you agree he gets really happy but also nervous that you're kidding or are doing it out of pity - After much reassurance you set up plans together - You guys watch your favourite anime together, build the anime figurines Levi's been putting off together, play games, order food - You probably sneak out later to go walk to a convenience store to get snacks and drinks and go fuck around at a park - I think he'd buy your snacks for you and pick up a stuffy for you - He isn't overly sure what you like in the flowers and such department but he tries - I feel like he isn't a big flower person tbh
Satan: - Romantic slut man - He makes you a goody bag. He writes a love letter with references to the books you've read together, makes a kiss print sweater like the ones on tiktok (Got the idea from Asmo sending him stuff of what to do for you), got you the snacks you like, a gift card to the places you like and a lamb stuffy that reminds him of you - He likes lavender for sure - I feel like getting him a nice lavender room spray to help him relax while he reads, a cat stuffy, the book he's been dying to read but is always in use at the library and a new blanket would be perfect for him (I am absolutely projecting, and what) - Making a blanket for with him and watching the movie adaptations to the books you like is everything. Go to a cat cafe to get lunch before going shopping and putting the gift card he got you to use
Asmo: - Oh lordy lord - Bath bomb, rose petals, wine, your favourite show, the kiss print sweater but I feel like he'd do matching pants (You'll NEVER guess where he put the kisses!!!*REAL* *NOT CLICKBAIT*), spa day, a cute lunch and dinner date, SO MANY PICTURES - He wants to spoil you. Give you everything romantic he could possibly think of - He likes lilies. lilys? Idfk you get the idea - He also would love to make stuff together! I also feel like Asmo draws up a little map of all the places you had your firsts and put little Polaroid pictures of those days next to the spots - Taking him shopping and getting to go home, do a little fashion show, try all the new makeup he got one each other, make the teddy bear you got him smell like you, get him new blankets/candles/decorations for his room. He'd be so happy - I feel like as much as Valentines day is the day of love and he'd flirt a lot, he'd keep sex out of the plans (Unless you want it but than after the fact he'll complain about needing to catch up on the other plans he made lol) - He loves you for so much more than your body and especially cause he's the Avatar of lust he want to prove it's not just his sin getting in the way
Beel: - He gets you comfy clothes, snacks, and other stuff you like! If you have your ears pierced or have other piercings he'll get you cute jewellery, get you a necklace to match. If you like cats, he'll get you a sweater with cat ears and a cat stuffy - He worries about getting you flowers because if they smell good he'll want to eat them- - On the note he for sure likes edible flowers like hibiscus, rose, lavender and chamomile. I'd recommend getting him flowers in the way of getting flower flavoured things - He would appreciate ordering food from all the places you've been on dates so you can have a trip down memory lane while eating (He absolutely asked Asmo for that idea) - I feel like he'd ask his brothers and your friends for ideas cause as much as he knows you, you probably admit to like different or more stuff with friends - He asks you to show him all your favourite movies, current and childhood. He wants to know how you became the amazing person he fell in love with - He wouldn't want much for Valentines day. Candy and like I said, flower flavoured things would be enough for him. If you get him anything else please do not make it food related he will chew on it. Getting him new clothes and stuff based off his movie would make him really happy
Belphie: - Blanket, both of the fluffy and weighted variety. Cow stuffy. New sweater. -I would try and steer clear of stuff to make him sleep harder but he's a comfy kinda guy so it's hard - Star themed pyjamas and hair clips. Or bleaching his favourite constellations on a black hoodie. He'll wear it everywhere - I feel like he'd like white roses and dahlias - His ideal date would be getting food, going to the planetarium and talking, listening to music, looking at the stars, etc. And than going home and napping with his new blanket and in his new pyjamas. - He'd get you snacks, a hoodie and shorts that are your favourite colour, get you a new pillow that he'd test out first to make sure it was comfy. - And ofc he'd get you stuff you like. Your favourite perfume, stuff based on movies/shows/anime you like. - He'd get a little sappy and tell you he's so glad your still with him. That you're his
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daysofyellowroses · 2 months ago
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pumpkin
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richie jerimovich x afab!reader | 1.3k | part one of two | warnings: none
hello, i am (kind of) back! due to work/being prone to depressed slumps i have not written anything for a long while but (tmi alert) my last period was the worst i have ever experienced, and towards the end of it the only thing that made me feel better was the thought of literally just sitting on richie's lap like it got me through, then that thought spiralled into this, which will have a second part that will basically just be plotless fun! hopefully you enjoy this, and if you're still reading then i will use the opportunity to shout out @thecapricunt1616 she is the actual best so go check out the most amazing blog you'll ever see 🫶🏻💗🌼
🐻
You know when you can tell a storm is coming, but that doesn't make you feel any more calm about the storm? That was the feeling you'd been having for a few days. Your period tracker app had told you that you were due soon, but the pain had started a little earlier than usual. It was never a good sign. Some months your period came and went without a fuss, other months it was like torture, and evidently it was going to be one of those months.
You threw yourself into work to try and distract yourself for what was coming. It was perfect timing, the bear had officially opened and service was beyond elevated. You'd been a waitress in the Beef for a couple of years, but that mainly consisted of handing over hot dogs, wiping down the occasional table and rolling your eyes (affectionately) at yet another terrible joke.
Now you were in at the deep end. The restaurant was was different, the clientele were certainly different, your uniform was different, your attitude had to be different. No more sneaking out back with Richie for a quick cigarette, stealing his hoodies when it was cold, no more hanging around in the kitchen chatting with the chefs.
You focused on doing your job perfectly, trying to ignore the PMS burning inside you. It wasn't easy, but you managed to style it out.
Until the day came.
You woke up in more agony, barely able to drag yourself out of bed for some aspirin. You still hadn't officially gotten your period but you knew it wouldn't be long. In most other jobs you would have a Saturday off or be able to call in sick, but that wasn't an option. Everyone was needed, there were no backups, no subs to be drafted in at the last minute.
Most of the day was spent in bed, layers of blankets wrapped around your aching body, willing the pain away.
It didn't go anywhere, rather it intensified as the day went on.
Taking a shower and getting ready was agony, all you wanted was to get right back into bed and forget the world existed, not go into a busy restaurant competing for a Michelin fucking star.
When you arrived, Richie was giving his usual speech/pep talk. He gave you a nod which you returned before standing beside Sweeps and trying to take in what Richie was saying.
Before service, you were standing by your locker taking a moment to breathe deeply and attempt to focus yourself when your solitude was ended.
"Hey," Richie gave you a nod. "You okay?"
"Yeah, all good," You lied, looking over to him with as much of a smile as you could muster. "Thanks."
"Just making sure," Richie raised a brow, watching you for a moment. "I'll see you out there, let's do this."
For a brief moment, you thought you would be okay. It would just be more bad PMS then tomorrow when your period actually made an appearance you could sleep it off.
But life could never be so simple.
It was already hot in the restaurant, every table full, the lights and the music making you feel overwhelmed, the heat and noise every time you walked into the kitchen not helping.
It all happened at once, you were taking the mains to table 10, your mouth beginning to water, not from hunger but from bile rising in you throat.
You delivered the food as calmy as possible, being the perfect waitress before you made your way to the bathroom as quickly as possible.
You barely made it into a stall before you were on your knees hugging the bowl.
It could have been hours or minutes later, you weren't sure, but eventually you heard a knock on the door.
Slowly getting up, you took a breath, grabbing some tissue to wipe your mouth before opening the door.
To your immense surprise, Richie was standing on the other side, a serious look on his face. You braced yourself for a scolding, ready to snap back if needed.
Instead, he touched your arm gently, his expression softening.
"You should have told me if you weren't feeling well."
"What does it matter?" You sighed, glancing behind you and tossing the tissue in the bowl. "You can't lose a waitress tonight."
"I'm down one right now aren't I?" Richie raised a brow. "We'll survive for a minute. I wish I could send you home but since I can't..tell me what I can do to make life easier for you right now."
You looked at him for a moment, the feeling of his hand on your arm making you feel calmer.
"Right now I need a tampon and some pain relief," You told him, taking a breath. "There's some in my-"
"I got it," Richie was already halfway to the door, waving his hand. "If you could get out there and keep Fak outta trouble that'd be great thanks."
You stood for a moment before quickly fixing yourself up and heading back out to the restaurant. There was no sign of Richie, but you threw yourself back into work. You didn't feel any better, and the need for protection was growing, but you tried to power through.
Around 15 minutes later, Richie re-emerged on the restaurant floor and caught your eye. You made your way over to him, half expecting him to subtly pull a tampon from his shirt cuff.
"Everything you need is in the office, you got five minutes," Richie told you, giving you a small grin before striding across the floor. You watched him for a moment before heading into the kitchen, ignoring the noise and heading to the office.
What looked like half of the entire feminine care aisle of a pharmacy was laid across the desk, along with a couple of bars of chocolate and a bag of candy you had a fondness for. You took what you needed and headed to the bathroom, feeling a little more calm and unable to stop yourself smiling.
After service, you were feeling better, though more than ready to go home and sleep through most of the following day.
When everything was done and everyone was getting ready to leave, you noticed Richie hanging back despite being ready to go. When you were heading out, chocolate and candy safely in your handbag, (the feminie care aisle had been left in tbe office for future emergencies) Richie joined you.
"Are you not driving?" You asked, raising a brow as you passed the car park.
"Not tonight," Richie shrugged, looking ahead before glancing over to you. "I'm making sure you get home safe."
You rolled your eyes with a grin, linking your arm through the older man's.
"It's just my period Rich, I'm not gonna die."
"I know," Richie scoffed. "Just let me be a gentleman once in my life."
So, you were joined on your commute home, the train ride and walk to your apartment feeling much quicker. Before you knew it you were hanging up your coat and dropping your handbag on the table.
"Are you gonna be okay?" Richie asked, glancing around your small living room.
"Do you need anything else?"
"You can drop the gentleman act now, it's getting old," You teased, touching his arm.
"But thank you for everything."
"Least I could do," Richie nodded, looking back at you and holding your gaze for a moment as you gently squeezed his arm.
"Well I uh..I should let you..get some rest."
"How very thoughtful of you," You smiled, letting go of his arm. "Are you sure *you're* going to get some safe? I would offer you the couch but your lanky ass would probably snap it in half."
You laughed as Richie gave you the middle finger, giving him the same back.
"I'll see you Monday, god help me," Richie sighed, stepping a little closer to you. "Now go get some rest."
"Yes, sir," You grinned, leaning up and placing a soft kiss on his cheek before stepping back.
"Let yourself out before the neighbours start a rumor."
"You should be so lucky," Richie grinned giving you a wink before heading out of your apartment.
You went to the kitchen and got yourself a glass of water before heading to your bedroom, the smile never leaving your face.
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justauthoring · 2 years ago
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BLUE LOCK - is he a good boyfriend?
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the answer is yes, obviously.
includes: bachira meguru, nagi seishiro, isagi yoichi, mikage reo all fem!reader
warnings: just bllk boys being the absolute best boys.
boyfriend!bachira who constantly makes you laugh - he’s always making funny faces at you, or telling you some stupid joke he read on twitter. no matter how dumb they are, it always manages to make you smile and that cute little giggle of yours to slip out and thus, bachira continues to do it.
boyfriend!bachira whose incredibly clingy. he always wants to be holding your hand, or is draped off of you. he likes having you close and he likes the warmth of you next to him. it makes him feel calm knowing you're there - feeling you're there - and that you're not going anywhere either. (it's also a plus that it usually wards off any potential flirts).
boyfriend!bachira who gets a little insecure sometimes. it throws you off the first time it ever happens. bachira's always confident, a beaming presence no matter where he is and seeing him quiet and shy is something that you definitely didn't expect. when you learn why, it feels like your heart'll break. almost instantly you're at his side reassuring him of every one of his silly words.
boyfriend!bachira who constantly making little gifts for you out of whatever scrap of something he can find. most of the time, his gifts look a little wonky, a little child-like, but it came from him all the same and you know he poured his heart into it so you don't really care if it's not the prettiest looking gift.
boyfriend!bachira whose so excited the first time you meet his mom. he'd known from the first moment he'd met you you were the one, but he'd waited as long as he possibly could before asking you to make that step. you were more than willing, if not a little nervous. you knew how close bachira and his mom were and you wanted to impress her so bad you practically made yourself sick the day of. (spoiler alert, she loved you.)
boyfriend!bachira who can literally never shut about you. it doesn't matter whether you're there or not - though it's usually worse when you're not because he misses you. he's constantly talking about you; "oh, yeah, y/n loves that show" or "y/n looked so pretty this morning when she woke up". honestly, his friends want to kill him but he's so happy they usually just let him.
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boyfriend!nagi who basically asks you out through reo. it was a mixture of both being too lazy and too shy (really though, he was just too shy) and it takes a lot of work from reo for the two of you to finally go on a date but it works out perfectly because the second he drops you off that night, you already want to go on another.
boyfriend!nagi who likes when you sit with him while he games. you don't always have to be talking, though he'll gladly let you chat his ear off, mostly listening but sometimes zoning out as you happily chat away about your day. sometimes it's just quiet, both in your own worlds but comforted by each others company. and sometimes you'll even play with him if nagi begs enough.
boyfriend!nagi whose the best damn cuddler. he's a huge man child that practically sinks into any couch or bed he can find, too lazy to even stand half the time. but he never hesitates to pull you into his lap, letting your head rest on his chest while the both of you bask in each others warmth. you fall asleep most nights like that, his arm securely wrapped around your waist while you lazily run your fingers through his hair.
boyfriend!nagi who prefers to stay home, order in and watch movies all night then go out to some fancy dinner. but he makes it the best date nonetheless, never failing to make you feel utterly beautiful and loved. some stupid movie playing in the background that's dumb enough to make the both of you cackle, while you eat greasy junk food, bundled up in pillows and blankets -- and you wouldn't have it any other way.
boyfriend!nagi whose constantly lending you his hoodies and shirts simply because he likes seeing you wear them. he's not an easily jealous man by nature, but there's something about the sight of seeing you in his clothing, telling everyone who you're with without him having to do a damn thing that just makes him so happy.
boyfriend!nagi who becomes ten times more motivated when he knows you're in the stands watching him. he can hear you screaming his name even from the field, voice probably going raw but you never falter, and it flutters his heart in a way he's never felt. he scores double as much as he usually does when you're there.
-
boyfriend!isagi whose incredibly shy and awkward when you first start dating. he's not very good with people, girls even more so, and he's constantly blown away by how pretty you are that the first few weeks of your relationship is spent with his cheeks constantly flushed and his words stammering. he looks incredibly cute though, so you don't mind all that much.
boyfriend!isagi whose insanely chivalrous. he'll make sure he's always opening doors for you, pulling chairs out for you to sit in, he tucks you on the other side of him when walking down the street. it's small, subtle things that hardly anyone would notice, but it makes your heart aflutter all the same.
boyfriend!isagi who loves soccer more than anything but always makes sure to make time for you. he's got a busy schedule and it requires him to be away from home a lot, but he's always willing to facetime, even after a long day of practice when his body screams at him for sleep. and when he is home, his free time is always, without a doubt, devoted to you.
boyfriend!isagi who can barely form coherent sentences when he sees you in his jersey for the first time. he feels as if he could combust on the spot at the sight of you in the stands, proudly supporting him with his name and number on your back. it lets everyone know who you're there for and isagi feels immense pride at the thought.
boyfriend!isagi who buys you a necklace a year into dating you. a small little 'Y' pendant with the date you guys met engraved on the back. its such a small gift, but incredibly thoughtful and you refuse to take it off the second you receive it. every time isagi catches a glance at the silver, he blushes.
boyfriend!isagi who is an amazing kisser once he gets past his nerves - his lips are just so soft and plump and he knows exactly where to kiss that it never fails to send a shiver down the back of your spine. whether it's on the lips or on the curve of your jaw, the feeling is something you'll never be able to get over.
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boyfriend!reo who spoils you any opportunity he possibly can. he has more money then he knows what to do with, so he simply spends it all on you. anything you want, he'll get it for you simply because he thinks you deserve it and he wants to spoil you.
boyfriend!reo who never flaunts his money in your face though. he never uses it against you or makes you feel like you're any less for not having the kind of money does. he's kind and generous with his money, more than his parents ever had been and he uses it to help whenever he can. you never have to worry, but he also knows when not to spend it. overall, he's incredibly understanding and always seems to know what's meaningful and what isn't.
boyfriend!reo who loves to take you out on the most luxurious dates. at first he did it to impress you and then was worried he maybe seemed like he was showing off. but the bright beaming smile on your lips when you got to dress up all pretty was enough for him. none of it mattered other than just being able to dress up for him in your eyes, and that's enough for reo. he loves when you feel beautiful.
boyfriend!reo whose really good with his hands. whether sexually or not, he just... always knows where to put them. his touch sends shivers down your spine and always causes a flush to run hot through your body. a simple touch to the small of your back, or his arm hooked around your waist, tight and reassuring. it's something so small, but it makes you swoon every time.
boyfriend!reo who loves calling you by 'love' or 'darling'. it could be for the most mundane things; "did you have a good day, love?" or "have you eaten yet, darling?" and yet, it sends you into a puddle of goo every damn time. the way the pet names leave his lips is so incredibly intoxicating.
boyfriend!reo who supports you undeniably with whatever you want to do. you support him in his dream one hundred percent so he wants to make sure he gives you that same sort of passion and support back. he's always willing to let you do whatever you need to succeed and never makes you feel bad for it either way.
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kamwilliamsonn · 1 year ago
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make me - Caroline Graham Hansen
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"come over here and make me."
Your eyes glistened with amusement as Caro ran all around your shared bedroom, trying to find her favourite hoodie.
You were laid under your blanket, comfortable watching the chaos as your fiancée wanted that specific jumper so badly.
Oh, and by the way, you're the one wearing it.
"Babe? Can you help me, where-" She started, before noticing the red sticking out from your navy blue blanket
"Babe." She repeats sternly, "is that my hoodie?" She asks, not really a question though.
You sink further into the bed, trying to hide it. "No?"
She huffs out a little laugh and places her hands on her hips softly. "Babe, I need to go shopping and it's cold, so I need my hoodie." She tells you, a soft smile on her face.
"Exactly! It's cold, and you're leaving me here without your cuddles. It smells like you." A small pout is on your face as you look up to her. "If you want me to take it off, you'll have to come here and make me."
She walks over to the bed and pulls her shoes off quickly, crawling so she's hovered over you.
She pulls the blanket off of you, leaving you in your joggers and her favourite hoodie and you think she's about to tickle you, but instead, she leans down slowly and presses a soft kiss to your forehead.
Then she litters some all over your face, ignoring your lips.
When you get sick of her teasing, you grab her face and pull her lips to yours, her hands grab your waist under the hoodie and your t-shirt.
And then she pulls away, her hands stay resting on you as she mumbles. "If you give me the hoodie, I'll bring you back some chocolate, and I'll take the day off work tomorrow."
Your eyebrows furrow as you decide if it's a good deal. "And you won't leave me in bed alone tomorrow?" You ask, your hands going back to play with the hairs on the back of her neck.
"Never. Tomorrow, we can cuddle all day. I won't even make you wake up for food." She smiles teasingly.
"Fine... Deal."
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Bearing in mind, they're probably in Norway during this 😭 I didn't think about how hot Spain is while I was writing it
And sorry it's so short, clearly longer fics are not my thing 😭
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kazzy-boo-baby · 9 months ago
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⚡️Thor Odinson Caregiver Headcannons⚡️
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⚡️- He always, ALWAYS gives cuddles to his little. Bedtime? Nighttime cuddles. Waking up from sleep? Morning cuddles. Feeling sad? He'll give you cuddles and tell you stories. Basically, cuddles is the number one answer to making his little feel better
⚡️-He's not strict at all! All he asks is that his little stays on their best behavior and tries their best to be good.
⚡️-Thor gives out rewards to his little all the time. It doesn't matter what time of day or what his little even did in the first place, he feels that every good action needs a reward.
"You did amazing with dressing yourself, young one! How about I give you a lollipop as a treat?"
⚡️- When taking his little to Asgard, he always loves to show them off. Thor is always so proud of his little no matter what happens, so showing them off is something he takes prides in.
⚡️- Thor loves to play games with his little, whatever they want to play he'll go along with it. But he does have a favorite game he likes to play: Peek a Boo!
⚡️-Thor always takes his little on missions with him. Now, that sounds dangerous. But Thor always makes sure that his little is in a safe area like a hotel or the Avengers jet until the mission is over with. He just can't bear to leave his little alone for too long.. it makes him nervous.
⚡️-Thor throws his little into the air, safely of course. It's his way of playing around or teasing his little one. He'll throw you up and catch you with a silly face.
"I caught you, baby! How about we go for another throw, huh?"
⚡️-He's very, very protective of his little. Thor does his best to make sure that his little never gets hurt emotionally or physically. For instance, whenever they go out he always makes sure his little holds his hand or carries his little himself.
⚡️-On the rare occasion that Thor lets you get babysat by someone, of course you'll get watched by his brother Loki!
⚡️-Thor always have a backpack of things for his little when he's on missions with them. Some of the things he packs are:
•A blanket
•A pacifier
•Snacks/Juice boxes
•An extra pair of clothes/pull ups (Incase accidents happen)
•One of his own hoodies in case his little misses him and needs something to comfort them
•A few bandaids
And that's it for Thor Caregiver Headcannons! (He's my fav, I couldn't help but do one for him lol)
Let me know who you want to see on my page next!
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lightsoutletsgo · 8 months ago
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hello mimikins i am here asking u to ship me w a driver pls and thank u. i am an '03, finishing up year 3 of my super cool and smart science bach degree. ummm i dont know how to describe myself. i like to think im funny and sarcastic and people probably think i talk to much. ok have fun i love u congrats on 500 :P
BEAR!! okay I knew as soon as I saw your request who I was gonna pick fr (I picked him even before our little rant earlier) mwah mimikins 🤍
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LOGAN SARGEANT ᝰ.ᐟ₊ ⊹ - calls you sweet girl, pretty girl or baby - loves your eyes so much! like honestly finds himself getting lost in them mid-conversation and then being like "huh? sorry baby what did you say?" - his love language is a mixture of quality time and physical touch. he's happy to spend time just existing with you when you're both doing your own thing, but he also loves cuddling with you and holding your hand - loves loves LOVES when he gets to treat you as his passenger princess! we're talking seat warmer on, blanket, little snack box, charging cable in your favourite colour, cute cosy slippers for your feet and he's the bf who has a "passenger princess" sticker on the passenger seat sun visor mirror
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logan loves helping you study! he happily cuts up little fruit pots for you or makes your favourite snack and rewards you with a bite and a kiss when you get the right answer. whenever he can, he picks you up from class after a test and always asks you how it went. he'll cuddle you and tell you you did a good job regardless of the outcome. he's great at helping you stay focused and he will sometimes kidnap your phone so you're not tempted to get distracted.
he loves that you're sarcastic and dry sometimes because it reminds him a lot of oscar's sense of humour so he's used to it. he doesn't mind sometimes being the one you make fun of - he knows you don't mean it, plus! if he pouts about it, he knows you'll kiss him until his pout disappears. loves taking you to drive-in movies and driving to the beach to stargaze. he's actually a real softie and romantic at heart. he loves going on dates like bowling or to the arcade! anything where he gets to hold your hand or be a gentleman or do something for you, like win a huge giant teddy - he finds his heart still skips a beat every time he facetimes you when he's away and you're cuddling the bear dressed in one of his hoodies sprayed with his cologne as a substitute until he comes home.
he never thinks you talk to much! in fact he likes that you talk a lot because he's quite quiet. he loves listening to you mumble to yourself while you're revising and studying and he can't help the way he smiles when he listens to you talking to yourself when cooking or focusing on something. logan finds though that sometimes, late at night when you're curled up next to him, your hand clutching his tightly even in your sleep, he's the one talking. he talks to you about his plans for the future, how glad he is he met you, how much he loves your smile and how happy you made him that day. he swears one day he'll tell you when you're awake but he's still working up the confidence to do it! it's okay though, you know... you caught him one night when he thought you'd fallen asleep and now you try and stay awake that little bit longer just to hear what he will say to you.
"logan?" you call as you open the front door, the weight of today's classes and tests pushing down on your shoulders, "kitchen!" he calls out and from further inside the house you can hear your playlist of nostalgic childhood bops drifting down the hallway. you drop your bag in the hallway and kick your shoes off, just wanting to forget the day already. as you enter the kitchen he looks up at you, a huge grin spread across his face, "how was your day baby?" you just shake your head, unable to find the words. sensing your angst he moves around the kitchen island, "want a hug?" you sigh and nod, your head dropping to lean against his chest as he wraps his arms around you, his head resting on top of yours as he sways you along to the track playing in the background. "well... I'm still proud of you sweet girl." he pulls back to look at your face. placing a soft kiss to your scrunched forehead and sighing with relief inwardly when the tension there melts away. "can I offer you a suggestion to cheer you up?" you nod and he leads you over to the counter excitedly, "I got some of that pizza dough and sauce and toppings and stuff and I figured we could make pizzas and then watch a movie?" you smile at him, "sounds perfect love!" he backs you up against the counter and places a hand either side of you, effectively trapping you, "you are perfect baby."
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toomuchracket · 1 year ago
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heyy so I was thinking about sick girlie at one of the shows, she never fails to work and everyone knows how committed is she, but at a show day she ignores all her body signs, avoiding sleep and trying to low her fever. D word matty worried at her because she’s pale and still working along Jamie, causing a bit of fight. Maybe George would try to make her eat something more than an apple and water but not getting more than that, then Adam checking her temperature and Ross just handling his hoodie.
And yes, I’m sick while writing this
oh i hope you feel better soon, sweets! and yeah maybe you wake up one day with a bit of a stuffy nose and you feel warm and a bit more lethargic than usual, but it's a show day and you're busy, so you take a couple of paracetamol and get on with it. although it hits you worse than usual because you're feeling tired as it is, you know yourself that it's just a cold, and you get really quite exasperated that morning by matty's constant hovering around you backstage and frequent utterances of "sweetheart, you've gone a weird colour. i know you keep saying you're fine, but i think you should take it easy"; you DO feel like shit, and it's making you irritable, and in turn you end up snapping at him like "matty, for fuck's SAKE, please just let me get on with my work and fucking LISTEN to me when i tell you i'm alright. but if you're so insistent that i'm not, it's probably best that you leave me alone in case you get ill too", and matty's a stubborn little git so he just snaps back "fine. i fucking tried!" and walks off in a huff. so naturally you both feel worse, but whatever, you'll just get on with it. in fairness to matty, he at least manages to get the boys on-side to keep an eye on you and make sure you're ok - like you said, adam manages to calmly convince you to let him feel your forehead to check your temperature (high) and subsequently to take more paracetamol and drink a lot of cold water, and george ends up in the canteen at the same time as you and tries (mostly unsuccessfully) to coax you into eating something substantial for lunch. after lunch, you're working on your laptop in the green room with ross's wife, and she's like "babe i can hear your teeth chattering" - she makes ross, who's playing with baby eilidh on the floor, go and get his hoodie to warm you up. while they're away, she softly says "you're poorly, aren't you, lovely?"; you just crumble and start crying like "really don't feel well. thought i could push through it but i can't. and i don't want to not do my work but also i don't want to make everyone else unwell. and i pissed matty off so i can't even get him to cuddle me", and straight up just sob into your friend's arms as she pats your head quite maternally. ross and eilidh come back in - he passes you a zip-up hoodie and eilidh passes you one of her teddies 😭 - followed a minute or so later by matty, whose face just crumples when he sees you crying. he hurries over to you with an "oh, sweetheart, c'mere", hugging you and shushing you when you try to apologise for earlier (although he says his own apology - he sits with you until he has to get ready for the show, despite your protests that he'll get sick, letting you sleep with your head on his lap and holding a cold compress on your skin to cool you down. during the show, you stand with ross's wifey and a cup of soup at the side of the stage, bundled up in hoodies and cardigans and blankets but feeling better than you did beforehand, matty stealing little glances at you to see you're alright. it's a pretty quiet night for you and matty post-show - dinner, a shower together, some more paracetamol (for him too, so he doesn't get sick), and cups of tea and cuddles in bed. the best remedy, i think <3
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gh0ulixs · 2 years ago
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Dating Billy Lenz + Martin Mathias
Requested by @urauity
ʚ♡ɞ ʚ♡ɞ ʚ♡ɞ ʚ♡ɞ ʚ♡ɞ ʚ♡ɞ ʚ♡ɞ
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☎ Billy Lenz ☎
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♥︎ Another inexperienced slasher when it comes to the dating field. You'll have to take more charge in a relationship.
♥︎ PDA. He is... Very touchy. Always groping for your ass or your chest. You'll have to set firm boundaries with him. He will eventually learn, but you have to be patient.
♥︎ Brings you little gifts he finds in the attic or around the house. He leaves them on your night stand or kitchen counter. He gets very happy when he sees you like them.
♥︎ He'll mimic phrases you say, since Echolalia. It'll be quiet and you just hear your voice from across the house saying something you usually say out of habit. He uses this to scare you sometimes.
♥︎ You have to fight to get him to shower. The only way he'll even allow you to bring him near it is to promise you'll join him. Those words will have him immediately sprinting towards the bathroom.
♥︎ Even though he's touchy with you, he gets nervous when you do it back. Be easy when you go to hug or kiss him, it scares him a bit. Ease him into it and he'll be alright.
♥︎ Please don't let him in the kitchen. He cannot cook. You can attempt to teach him, but it may go horribly wrong. The food will be burnt, he will be panicking, God will be dead.
♥︎ Billy often has periods where he hates being bothered, and will lock himself in the attic. You'll have to leave him some food and blankets up there and just wait until he comes down.
♥︎ Whenever he's in a more stable headspace, he loves just holding you. Your warmth bring a him comfort and security. He will sit there until he physically can't or you finally push him off.
♥︎ Sometimes calls you just to compliment your appearance. It's almost a daily occurrence to pick up the phone just to hear him calling you "Pretty Piggy" and then hanging up.
♥︎ Takes up all of the bed when he sleeps. If you sleep together, you will be nearly falling off because he stretched out a whole lot. He also kicks in his sleep, so have fun.
♥︎ He hoards everything you give him. Hoodies, pillows, plates, you name it. You've had to buy so many new dishes because of it.
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🦇 Martin Mathias 🦇
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♥︎ He is very shy. You had to make the first move, because he was terrified to do it himself.
♥︎ Likes it when you hold his hand. He'll rub his thumb along it with this flustered little grin on his face.
♥︎ Martin hides all of the needles and other supplies he uses to get blood. He's worried you'll leave or think him as a monster, and he can't risk it.
♥︎ If you DO find out and offer to let him have some of your blood, he'll be head over heels. He is worried he'll seriously hurt you, so you have to convince him it'll be okay.
♥︎ Very touch starved. He always melts when you show him any sort of affection. He likes resting his head on your chest; your heartbeat calms him.
♥︎ Call him 'Pretty boy' and he'll get so flustered. Any sort of pet names will have him blushing, but that specific one just does something to him.
♥︎ He never lets you into his house. As much as he would like to, he's afraid Cuda will pull something and mess it up for you two.
♥︎ He'll talk about you on the radio show he always calls in on. He can't help it, he just needs to brag about how lucky he is and how pretty you are.
♥︎ He helps you with your chores or activities. You tell him it's fine, but he insists. He wants to help you out since you've done so much for him.
♥︎ Calls you things like "Little Bat, Darling, Honey" and loves it when you call him things like that back.
♥︎ One of your dates involves getting ice cream and hanging out around town.
♥︎ If you give him anything, he'll cherish it with his life. He has it tucked away in his room and admires it when he misses you.
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inkrabbit · 2 years ago
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Hello! I just found out your ao3 account and I've spent the last few days reading your beautiful fics! I absolutely love the way you write about the ghouls! So if I can, I wanted to request a Rain x reader, something fluff like him or the reader reaching out to cuddle on a snowy night and exchanging kisses and sweet words 💕 thank you so much!
I keep forgetting my ao3 exists tbh :x one day I'll upload all of these requests. but ty anon! it means a lot to me <3333
hopefully this is good, though it is really short
His body is shivering violently, teeth chattering as he tries to nuzzle further into your hoodie. He didn't think it would start snowing. Sure, he knew it was cloudy out when practice was over, but he thought he had more time. He thought that maybe it would start snowing tonight when he was cuddled up with you in his bed.
But no. Here he was, alone in his room while you were off doing your studies. His whole body ached as he trembled, his tail wrapped around himself in a futile attempt to stay warm. Even with your hoodie and his blanket, he was still so cold. He cursed himself for not buying that comforter he had seen at the store. It would've come in handy right now.
He missed you by his side. By now, he would've had his face nestled against your neck, keeping you close to him as he tried to sleep. If he thought hard enough, he could still feel your arms around him, rubbing those soothing circles into his back. Your calm heartbeat that would lull him to sleep, feeling safe and content with you by his side. He hated how long it took you to finish in the library. Sometimes you could be in there all day and all night, only leaving before curfew started so you wouldn't get in trouble.
You wouldn't stay that long tonight, would you? He hoped not. He desperately needed your warmth, and he wasn't brave enough to leave the warmth of his blanket to beg for you to hurry. He knew it wouldn't make you go any faster, anyway.
He doesn't know when he had dozed off. He just knows how groggy he feels when he hears his door push open, followed by the sound of your soft voice calling out to him. He takes a second to let his eyes adjust before he looks over his shoulder, smiling when he sees you. You're all bundled up, though that isn't a surprise. But he notices the blanket you're holding in your hands and he can't stop his tail from thumping the bed.
“I didn't mean to wake you.” Your voice is soft as you slip the plug into the outlet before making your way over to him. He scoots over, trying his best to ignore just how cold the mattress is underneath him as he opens the blanket for you.
“You're fine, love.” He smiles when he feels you drape the blanket over top, having put it to the highest setting. He's sure you'll throw it off of your side the second you get too warm, but he appreciates that you had brought it for him. The thermal blanket, he decided, was one of the greatest inventions by man. But he's happiest when you crawl into bed beside him. He pulls the comforter and thermal blanket over you, dragging you across the bed and right against his chest. Your skin is so cold but it doesn't matter as he buries his face in your neck, a loud purr starting up. It's like the horrors of the cold world melt away as he breathes in your scent, pressing soft kisses to your neck.
“I've missed you.” His voice is muffled against you, but he hears that little amused huff you let out.
“I've missed you, too, Rainy.” He feels the kiss you press to the top of his head, your arms wrapping around him as well. He's never felt so comfortable before, especially in the middle of winter. “You feel better now?”
He lets out a hum as he nods his head. How couldn't he? Your scent enveloped him, along with your natural body heat. You held him so close and made him feel so safe and loved, and your voice was just so soothing to hear whenever you talked.
Snowfall be damned. He was right where he needed to be: nestled in your arms and basking in your love.
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tripl3ts-sturni0l0 · 1 year ago
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Future
Prompt: Y/N and Matt are in a long term relationship and lately Y/N has been questioning their future. Being overwhelmed Y/N cannot sleep, so Matt takes her to go for a drive and they talk everything out
CW: mentions of anxiety/ anxiety attack, little cringe, crying, kissing, some swearing
Y/N's POV:
Matt and I had a date night in our room tonight, we ordered pizza and watched our favorite movies in a blanket fort he created on the floor. After a while we cleaned up, I changed into a pair of his sweatpants and a hoodie, and then we crawled into bed together.
He kissed me goodnight and pulled my body close, cuddling into me. Shortly after that his breathing slowed and the rhythm of his heartbeat had become steady. I closed my eyes, waiting for sleep to overtake me, but it never did. My mind started racing with my usual overwhelming thoughts.
Matt and I have been together for five years now. We started dating when we were eighteen and have known each other our entire lives. Matt has always been my best friend and since I was twelve years old I have been insanely in love with him. Luckily for me when we were eighteen, Matt had confessed that he felt the same way and ever since, we have been together. Two years ago, we even bought our own place and moved in together.
Now at twenty-three years old we are still going strong, but I have started to question our future together. I want to get married and have kids, but what if he secretly doesn't want that? Sure we've both expressed that we want that, but why hasn't he proposed yet? Is he unsure? Did he change his mind? My mind races a million miles an hour.
My breathing picked up as my anxiety really set in. Suddenly I started to feel my chest tighten, I sat up and walked to our bathroom, trying to calm myself down and get my breathing straightened out.
"Baby? What's wrong are you- oh no my love." I hear Matt's sleepy voice say as he enters our bathroom. I look at him with tears in my eyes as I try to calm down, but seeing that I woke him up just upset me more. He walks over to me and grabs my hands placing them on his chest to feel his heart.
" It's okay sweetheart, you'll get through this. Breathe with me, feel my breathing and match it, love. " Matt calms me down. I slowly start to feel better after what feels like an eternity. I look up at him and he takes his hands and wipes my tears away with a sad smile encasing his lips.
"Y/N, you know you can wake me up whenever you feel like that, honey. God knows I've done it to you a thousand times before. I want to help you baby, you gotta wake me up." He says caressing my cheek with his hand.
I let out a deep sigh. " I know, but I hate waking you up. Usually it goes away faster than this I'm sorry I woke you up, my love." I say. He shakes his head at me and says, " Never apologize for that babe. I'm glad I was here to help. I just wish you woke me up sooner."
He pulls me into a hug and he holds me for a few minutes, caressing my hair, swaying us side to side lightly and leaving kisses on the top of my head. I shut my eyes and focus on how he feels in my arms and it's almost enough to make me fall right asleep. He notices this and whispers into my ear, " I know you must have had a hard time sleeping, love. Do you want to go for a ride? Those always seem to help you calm down and fall asleep."
I nod my head into his chest and he picks me up and carries me downstairs.  He puts me down so we can both put our shoes on and grab our jackets, then he grabs his keys. He takes my hand and we walk out and get in the car.
We start driving and I still cannot sleep. He puts one hand on my knee rubbing small circles to help relax me, but it doesn't work. He frowns at this and says, " Maybe you should talk about it baby. It might help you get it off your mind so you can sleep."
I let out a shaky breath, fighting not to cry. After a few moments I finally speak up. "What does our future look like to you?" I say. He glances at me with a confused look , which quickly turns to a look of worry.
" Well, I see us getting married and having babies, maybe getting a dog or two. Honestly I want whatever you want, love. I just want to make you happy forever. What do you want baby?" He says.
I feel a few stray tears fall down my face as I let out a breath. " I just want you, Matt. I want everything with you. I love you so much. I just want to make sure you want this too. I don't ever want you feeling trapped with me or that we have to do certain things like getting married or having kids. I want those things, but if you don't want them we don't have to have them because I will be happy as long as I have you." I sob out.
He pulls the car over into a random parking lot, unbukles his seat belt and gets out. He comes over to my side, unbuckles my seat belt and helps me out of the car. So there we were standing in the rain
"Did I ever make you feel like I didn't want those things with you? Baby, it's all I've ever wanted. I'm sorry I made you doubt our future. I promise you we are gonna have all of those things. You know what? This isn't how I wanted to do this, but fuck it. " He says.
Before I process what's happening Matt pulls out a small jewelery box from his jacket pocket and drops down onto one knee. My mouth falls open and I start crying even harder than before. I look at his face and notice he's crying too.
"Y/N L/N, this is not planned at all and I'm sorry because I wanted to do this differently. I wanted to make this super huge deal for you and so I was waiting until I had everything sorted out. Nick and Chris have been helping me plan for the last week actually ," he chuckles.
"Right now feels like the right time. Y/N I want to have a life with you, I want you to have my last name, I want to have a family with you, I want it all. The good, the bad, the crazy, all of it. I have loved you for as long as I can remember. You have been my best friend, my person, my first love, love of my life. Will you please be my wife?" He says.
I crouch down onto my knees as I nod my head vigorously at him. He pulls the ring out of the box and slides it on my finger as I grab him and hug him. He stands us both up and kisses me passionately, the rain pouring down, soaking us entirely.
We get back in the car and drive home. He holds my hand placed on my thigh and runs his finger over my ring and I smile. "Y'know Nick and Chris are gonna be so pissed that this happened without them." I said laughing.
"Yeah Nick is never gonna shut up about it. They'll both get over it though." He said laughing lightly. We pulled up to the house and went inside, discarding our wet clothing and changing into dry clothes. Then we headed upstairs to our bedroom.
"Do you feel better baby?" He asked as he snuggled up close to me in bed. "Absolutely. How could I not after all that excitement?" I said smiling into his chest. He lifts my chin up with his hand and kisses me slowly and softly on the lips.
"God I can't wait to marry you. Gonna make you my wife." He says between kisses. I wrap my arms around his neck as he buries his face into my neck, placing kisses to it. "I love you" I say as I start to fall asleep. "I love you more, love." He says as slumber consumes me.
The future may be unknown, but at least I know it's ours.
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I have a ton more to upload! Let me know your thoughts/requests!!!
<3
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