#The Harkers: 'What like it's hard?'

[see-arcane]

I’m sure it’s been said more articulately elsewhere, but can I just say how much I love how Jonathan and Mina are placed amongst these Classic Heroic Gents (Stoker’s various Issues+ notwithstanding)?

While I have and will continue to feel two ways about how Mina is ultimately Madonna’d and damsel’d--Van Helsing and the Suitors going full diet misogyny/chivalrous, Jonathan just wanting to keep his wife out of the line of fire, Period--she’s so clearly established as a vital support the guys were missing. She brings intel, organization, and, what with the Victorian testosterone poisoning at play, an emotional anchoring point they can’t quite dare to seek out in their own best friends; Too Unmanly. Can’t Be Done.

Then they get introduced to Jonathan Harker. 

He of the harrowing adventure in Castle Dracula! Scaling stone walls and cliffs on the fly twice! Slipping free from a den of four centuries+ old vampires alive! Coming within inches of a killing blow to the Count but for the damned trick of the basilisk gaze and the (un)timely arrival of Dracula’s men! Jack can’t have been the only one expecting a Man’s Man among their group.

But, no. Jonathan Harker is Jonathan Harker. 

He of the golden retriever spirit and bottomless good manners and pretty eyelashes. If Mina is the nascent New Woman (don’t tell her that, she only knows what a New Woman is from the Punch comics), then Jonathan is the New Man. There’s no chest-pounding bravado, no jealousy at all these comparatively ‘threatening’ men--a lord, a rugged cowboy, a man who runs and owns his own asylum--gushing over his wife. It’s just as it was with Van Helsing.

Jonathan: Yes, Mina is amazing isn’t she? Please, continue telling me how great she is. :)

Mr. Harker, who spent two months imprisoned with the Terrifying Mega Vampire that needs an entire cadre of vampire hunters to attack, who was ready to see himself dead rather than risk joining the Brides, who landed a soulmate as fantastic as Mina...

...Is also the same Mr. Harker who takes comfort in law books and organizing paperwork, who pens wistful entries about nice meals and pretty landscapes and how much he loves his wife, whose defining trait when not in Vampire Hell is that of his friendly charm and kind nature.

He has endured nightmares and accomplished the unthinkable on par with the adventurous daydreams of any Classic Hero-Man of his era, yet he did it all while being the soft-spoken prettyboy sweetheart solicitor who stepped off the train and left Jack stunned. 

Between his example and Mina being--to borrow a double-edged phrase from Abe-- ‘a pearl among women’ (that is, being openly intelligent, competent, nurturing, and proactive), I have to assume that there is plenty left unwritten in the diaries about how the Suitors Three are adjusting to the Harkers’ unconventional nature in their time and place.

And perhaps, after all the vampire business is over, they start taking some notes and undoing the performative chokeholds they have on themselves and their hearts.

[saffitaffi]

On my yearly re-listen to OSPs Dracula reading! Thought I’d take a crack at drawing the characters, maybe I’ll do some more if I feel like it. Drac’s design is pretty heavily inspired by the OG Hotel Transylvania Drac designs (they’re so good omg)

[flameswallower]

something I always find really poignant and relatable in fiction is when a monster wants-- or seems to want, in my interpretation-- friendship or love from others in a very sincere way, but through either its nature (eg biological need to eat people), its more human-esque lack of insight (wdym manipulating or terrorizing people is a bad way to keep them from abandoning me), or both, just...cannot obtain this. is never going to be able to obtain this. has absolutely no idea why it keeps going wrong.

[minaharkerdailymirror]

The Changing of the Guard

Mina Harker knew what he was as soon as she saw him.

It wasn't a jerk in her gut, or a creep in her spine like some would think. She had dormant vampire blood in her veins but it did not give her any special gift beside longevity. she did not heal quickly, she did not have extra strength or speed. Dracula's gift after they killed him was that she was living a very long time. Eternity was a bloody long time to think about

It wasn't even her monster hunter hunting experience that told her what he was. It was his eyes. Those odd eyes that vampires had; she noticed it appearing more and more over the decades. She wondered why it was different with her experience. Dracula had no such features, he would pass as a normal man. And his age made him very powerful but he also had many weaknesses. The new breed also had far less weaknesses than Dracula did. Garlic and holy places did nothing to them and they were getting far more hard to kill.

This one would be hard to kill.

But best see if she could burrow in, he probably had a nest somewhere. Best see where it led her

She lit a cigarette and went to meet his gaze boldy, to see if what he might do.

[gilgamushroom]

Oh I can already tell I'm going to be so normal about Ben Galpin's Jonathan Harker. The way he intones Jonathan trying to rationalize everything and not give in to fear is just heartbreaking.

It's day one, this man has only now REACHED the castle, and he's already questioning his own perception of reality. Were the coachman's eyes red? No, that's ridiculous, must have been a trick of the light. We seem to be driving in circles... no, but that can't be, why would we be? Oh, oh we are. Well there must be a reason. The coachman and Count Dracula are eerily similar... but don't be stupid, that makes no sense. And he's right! It doesn't! The sheer amount of times he goes “oh, silly me, it must be my own fault that I'm seeing and thinking all these things” and you can tell he's trying so hard to make himself believe it just breaks me.

I'm very happy we seem to be embracing more the “Jonathan Harker is not really naive he's just very anxious and needs this job” approach but also? Jonathan Harker refuses to acknowledge the warning signs because the only two possible explanations are “it's my own fault I'm seeing things” or “I am alone in an isolated area of a foreign country with a man who is not only stronger than me but supernaturally so, is not human and means me harm, and to try to escape him would mean certain death” and the second one is not only far less likely but uh. Leaves him with no choice but to break down in fear. His “naiveté” is not him ignoring his survival instinct, it IS his survival instinct.

(And Dracula KNOWS this, and he KNOWS his facade is easy to see through. But what is Jonathan going to do? So so early in the novel, and Dracula is already playing with his food)

[sylphidine]

Usually I re-read DRACULA each year on my own, in homage to the previously mentioned LiveJournal crew moderating "dracula1897" from 2006 through 2008.

Here on Tumblr, I've been following the "dracula daily" tag since 2022. I fell hard for the @re-dracula podcast because of the connection to THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES; having Jonathan Sims playing Jack Seward, the DRACULA character I relate to most, felt like a precious gift meant just for me.

This year I subscribed to the Dracula Daily email AND am listening to the podcast at the same time, and the tears are rolling down my face. The pairing of hearing and reading, the innocence and hopes that our good friend young Harker expresses through the words of Bram Stoker and the voice of Ben Galpin... well.

I have been slammed against a metaphorical wall with the horrors of knowing what is going to happen next.

And I am so going to enjoy pressing this metaphorical bruise.

[eternal-curse]

imagine if popular vampire media characters all had tumblr. that would be so hectic lol they’d have so much beef with each other

#this is about to be super out of character for all of them #but humor comes at a price

4 notes

👨🏻‍🦲 colin-robinson-69-420 Follow

Callout Post for @mag𝗂strate-murder (aka Astarion Ancunín)

@mag𝗂strate-murder (prev URL was @year-of-the-carr𝗂on-crow) has shown some absolutely vile, revolting, disgusting, toxic— sometimes downright evil— behavior on numerous (and lengthy!) occasions. This behavior has been repeated again and again. I would be willing to forgive and forget all of these things, IF they were first-time events or isolated incidents. They are NOT isolated incidents.

The list includes (but is not limited to):

Trying to attack his friends while they're peacefully slumbering.

The murder of countless (countless!) innocent people.

Theft. Maybe even robbery. Idfk.

Showing annoyance at the idea of saving entire groups of people from being enslaved or mass murdered. (These were two separate occasions... Yuck!)

I know I’m posting this at 8 o’cock, so many vampblr users may be currently asleep, but it’s my civic duty to provide information for the uh. The people at large. So there are more details, more moral crimes, and proof of all of the heinous actions this spawn has committed under the cut.

------------------------- read more -------------------------

🗡 magistrate-murder

I'm flattered. You just can't take me off of your mind, can you? Do you dream of me? I hope they're nightmares. 💕

🩸 blood-and-book-reviews Follow

I love how "theft" is directly between "killing innocent people" and "is chill with subjugation and mass murder"

🎸 the-vampire-queen

#did anyone else notice how they said 'moral crimes' #as if murder and theft and etc are legal? #lol? #weird... #<- prev's tags #my tags -> #YES OMG I NOTICED THAT TOO. #also what the eff? OP had to point out that astarion's a spawn? #why does it matter that he isn't a full vampire? #as someone who’s a vampire/demon hybrid that’s kind of a red flag to me :/ #ugh this is SO not math

12,987 notes

📚 j-harker

I’m missing @m𝗂ss-mina-murray. Currently out of the country for work.

💁🏼‍♀️ slayer-summers

Oh, I'm sorry :( At least the view is beautiful, where are you?

📚 j-harker

Transylvania. Why?

💁🏼‍♀️ slayer-summers

Get Out Of There Immediately Jonathan Harker Leave Get Out Now Get Out Go Leave Go Now

#buffy talks #slayer posting

548 notes

🎸 the-vampire-queen

I just learned about "vegan vampires." That's so stupid. Just eat the color red ???? It's NOT that hard

🎀 miss-draculaura

:(

🎸 the-vampire-queen

I'll make an exception for you

🎀 miss-draculaura

:)

1,600 notes

🐺 the-vampire-lestat

A preview of my upcoming book:

I am the vampire Lestat. I'm immortal. More or less. The light of the sun, the sustained heat of an intense fire-these things might destroy me. But then again, they might not.

I'm six feet tall, which was fairly impressive in the 1780s when I was a young mortal man. It's not bad now. I have thick blond hair, not quite shoulder length, and rather curly, which appears white under fluorescent light. My eyes are gray, but they absorb the colors blue or violet easily from surfaces around them. And I have a fairly short narrow nose, and a mouth that is well shaped but just a little too big for my face. It can look very mean, or extremely generous, my mouth. It always looks sensual. But emotions and attitudes are always reflected in my entire expression. I have a continuously animated face.

My vampire nature reveals itself in extremely white and highly reflective skin that has to be powdered down for cameras of any kind.

And if I'm starved for blood I look like a perfect horror- skin shrunken, veins like ropes over the contours of my bones. But I don't let that happen now. And the only consistent indi- cation that I am not human is my fingernails. It's the same with all vampires. Our fingernails look like glass. And some people notice that when they don't notice anything else.

Please, contain your excitement.

🐺 the-vampire-lestat

Who is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way?

💁🏼‍♀️ slayer-summers

Would you believe me if I told you we're still trying to figure that out?

#buffy talks #well ebony isn't real #but we still don't know who tara is

6,666 notes

🦇 cravensworth-king-of-bottoms

I've heard a rumor about this online webbed site; that is which it is filled to the brim with abstinants, celibates, and the like.

📸 liam-de-lioncunt Follow

Ugh... As much as I hate to use popular gifs, I feel compulsed to post this before anyone else does.

There. I did it first.

🦇 cravensworth-king-of-bottoms

Tonight, we FEAST. NYAH! HAH!

628 notes

🎸 the-vampire-queen

Just recorded this Mitski cover

6 notes

🧛🏻‍♂️ tepes-the-first

Why is it that when Gods demand blood, it's called a necessary sacrifice, but when I, Vlad Dracul,

💛 alucard

It's because you're evil.

🧛🏻‍♂️ tepes-the-first

For the last time, change your URL. Your name is Adrian.

📚 j-harker

I didn't know you had a son!

📚 j-harker

Wait, what was the original post about??

🧛🏻‍♂️ tepes-the-first

Don't worry about it.

📚 j-harker

Okay. :)

4,279 notes

💁🏼‍♀️ slayer-summers

I'm starting an emotional support group chat for slayers, does anyone want in?

💑 armand-de-la-cruz

Yes please!

⚔️ nandor-the-relentless-3

Guillermo?

⚔️ nandor-the-relentless-3

Why do you want to be in a vampire slayer group chat Guillermo??????

⚔️ nandor-the-relentless-3

Answer my texts Guillermo

63 notes

✨ edward-cullen Follow

My beautiful daughter. Looks just like her mother.

🍷 dimitrescu-winery

Get that wretched monstrosity of a child off of my screen.

🐈‍⬛ carmillas-admirer-sappho

wait, Ravioli is a real child? i thought she was just a photoshop meme of @the-vampire-lestat’s daughter Claudia?

6️⃣ vampire-count-er

What is the Vampblr number of the day? Let’s count the vampires of Tumblr above me in this post to find out!

Ah, that’s one vampire.

TWO! Two vampires!

THREE bloodsucking vampires! Ah ah ah!!

The number of the day is three!

7,012 notes

🐈‍⬛ carmillas-admirer-sappho

💀 real-carmilla

?

🐈‍⬛ carmillas-admirer-sappho

NO I TAKE IT BACK

CARMILLA I’M SORRY

🐈‍⬛ carmillas-admirer-sappho

BEGONE WHITE GIRL

🐈‍⬛ carmillas-admirer-sappho

please check your dms carmilla i sent you my address

1,982 notes

👨🏻‍🦲 colin-robinson-69-420 Sponsored by Blaze 🔥

The new The Vampire Lestat album sucks.

Get it? It sucks.

Because he’s a vampire.

It’s pretty funny, if you ask me.

#lestat de lioncourt #satan’s night out #the vampire lestat #vampblr #not a callout post

438 notes

🌙 werepire

Is no one going to talk about how problematic Marceline’s girlfriend is? Just because they’re both royalty doesn’t mean that Bonnibel can do whatever she wants with no repercussions.

I mean, here’s an article explaining all the horrible stuff she’s done [link]. Are we just going to pretend none of it happened?

👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻 nadja-of-antipaxos

Hard agree. Down with the monarchies.

She can, however, do whatever she wants because she’s hot

[johnnykeanytourney]

Do you like Keanu Reeves? Do you like characters named John? Do you like Keanu Reeves playing characters named John?

Have i got the very dumb very specific relatively short (and not guaranteed to be well run or well seeded cause I'm doing it from a phone) poll for you. Cause I combed his filmography and there are exactly 8.

Inspired by @john-battle but very late

Competitors are:

Johnny Utah from Point Break (1991)

John Constantine from Constantine (2005)

John from Generation Um... (2012) (apparently)

Johnny Silverhand from Cyberpunk 2077 (2020)

Johnny from Johnny Mnemonic (1995)

John Wick from John Wick (2014-present)

Johnathan Harker from Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992)

And on a technicality what seemed like a technicality but apparently Don is just a title

Don John from Much Ado About Nothing (1993)

All polls will last one week. 8 competitors will mean only 3 rounds. I will accept propaganda. I will not accept criticism. Of me or the Johnnies. I am doing this for free while I should be doing more important things and Keanu worked hard on those Johnnies.

Quarterfinals will start today after I finish this post

But here's where I tag a bunch of other polls to attempt to increase my reach

@princessandknightfight @who-do-i-know-this-man @obscurewebcomictournament @generic-man-in-suit-battle @xkcdbracket @controversial-blorbo-bracket @videogamedogbracket @look-how-they-massacred-them @retirement-home-rumble

Bracket links below the break

John Wick vs Jonathan Harker

FINALS

John Wick vs John Constantine

SEMIFINALS

Don John vs John Constantine

QUARTERFINALS

Johnny Utah vs John Wick

Johnny Mnemonic vs Johnathan Harker

John vs Don John

John Constantine vs Johnny Silverhand

[origami-trust]

Dracula, May 9th: "When we are married I shall be able to be useful to Jonathan, and if I can stenograph well enough I can take down what he wants to say in this way and write it out for him on the typewriter, at which also I am practising very hard." I like to think that Jonathan and Mina proposed during a transcription exercise. While dictating something, Jonathan got overwhelmed with love, and noted something like, 'The details of this case are being transcribed by the wonderful Miss Mina Murray, who I very much hope one day, if she would like, and if she feels the same, that is to say, could...do me the honor of becoming Miss Mina Harker?" and/or Mina, in taking notes for Jonathan, asks if he could check the accuracy of what she wrote down, and shows him that at the end of what she dictated, she wrote, "Will you marry me?"

[astrangergivingthestrangewelcome]

Jonathan's behavior while... enraging and also heartbreaking (he's gonna hate himself for it real soon and that makes me sad) is also interesting to me. He admits today that he originally thought Mina could handle the Horrors but now after the doctors suggested otherwise he's been convinced that she is more at risk of madness and trauma bc of female frailty

Jonathan mostly associates with women. This is as many male friends as he's ever had. Mr. Hawkins is mentioned but he's a father figure. I think Mina mentions a newspaper correspondent friend of Jonathan's once, but that's it and who knows if that was a good friend or just someone he liked well enough.

He spends his intimate time with women. The past months of his life he has been taken care of by women (the nuns and Mina) and talked about everything with them. He doesn't see them as women he sees them as people. It did not naturally occur to him that Mina would have less nerve because of her gender- he has avoided picking up The Sexism so far, and you can see it by his behavior towards her the whole novel. He doesn't treat Mina like a child, the way that the suitors treat Lucy like a child.

Then he got his polycule ID card, and suddenly is with all these men. And Jonathan is not a stubborn or prideful person. It's never been difficult for him to admit a mistake or when he doesn't know something. He has excellent instincts but he doesn't trust them. His lack of confidence in himself is imo his fatal flaw. And these men, two doctors among them are like yes we need to cut Mina out. It would be irresponsible to keep her in. She could never handle it. And this is not a natural conclusion for Jonathan to make. He writes that he finds it hard to keep things from her. It's not his instinct. But he feels inexperienced, and he desperately wants to be a good husband. The idea that he has not done his duty, that he's been careless in letting Mina do so much, that he's been unchivalrous and selfish, it's a new feeling but it's a horrible one and he bows immediately to what he perceives as the expertise and knowledge of Van Helsing.

That doesn't excuse him. It was wrong of him to do and he should have spoken for her. But I think it's interesting to look at how societal pressure and sexism worked on the character of Jonathan Harker in this instance to twist the love he has for her into something that hurts them both.

[vickyvicarious]

Dracula Declarations of Love

There is so much love, and so much talk of love, in this book. It's extremely hard to pick a favorite, but let's give it a go (or just get emotional over a bunch of quotes lined up together).

I tried to stick mostly to declarations/talk about (rather than acts of) love, primarily to focus on specific quotes and help me narrow it down to just twelve (still a big challenge). Before anyone asks, no, "I too can love" is not on here because Dracula's version of love doesn't stack up to the others for me in terms of emotional impact. And these were definitely chosen by my personal preference of specific quotes; there are a bunch of other great words of love that didn't make it in. Also, important note - this is not exclusively romantic love by any means.

The whole quotes don't fit in the poll, so please read below before you vote.

Full Quotes:

11 May, Lucy: "Oh, Mina, couldn't you guess? I love him. I am blushing as I write, for although I think he loves me, he has not told me so in words. But oh, Mina, I love him; I love him; I love him!"

24 May, Quincey: "If that other fellow doesn't know his happiness, well, he'd better look for it soon, or he'll have to deal with me. Little girl, your honesty and pluck have made me a friend, and that's rarer than a lover; it's more unselfish anyhow."

19 August, Mina: "I have cried over the good Sister's letter till I can feel it wet against my bosom, where it lies. It is of Jonathan, and must be next my heart, for he is in my heart. [...] I must write no more; I must keep it to say to Jonathan, my husband. The letter that he has seen and touched must comfort me till we meet."

24 August, Jonathan and Mina: "Then he took my hand in his, and oh, Lucy, it was the first time he took his wife's hand, and said that it was the dearest thing in all the wide world, and that he would go through all the past again to win it, if need be. [...] Well, my dear, what could I say? I could only tell him that I was the happiest woman in all the wide world, and that I had nothing to give him except myself, my life, and my trust, and that with these went my love and duty for all the days of my life."

24 August, Mina: "Lucy dear, do you know why I tell you all this? It is not only because it is all sweet to me, but because you have been, and are, very dear to me. It was my privilege to be your friend and guide when you came from the schoolroom to prepare for the world of life. I want you to see now, and with the eyes of a very happy wife, whither duty has led me; so that in your own married life you too may be all happy as I am. My dear, please Almighty God, your life may be all it promises: a long day of sunshine, with no harsh wind, no forgetting duty, no distrust. I must not wish you no pain, for that can never be; but I do hope you will be always as happy as I am now."

7 September, Arthur: '"What can I do?" asked Arthur hoarsely. "Tell me, and I shall do it. My life is hers, and I would give the last drop of blood in my body for her."'

17 September, Mina: "Jonathan asks me to send his 'respectful duty,' but I do not think that is good enough from the junior partner of the important firm Hawkins & Harker; and so, as you love me, and he loves me, and I love you with all the moods and tenses of the verb, I send you simply his 'love' instead."

30 September, Mina and Arthur: '"I loved dear Lucy, and I know what she was to you, and what you were to her. She and I were like sisters; and now she is gone, will you not let me be like a sister to you in your trouble? I know what sorrows you have had, though I cannot measure the depth of them. If sympathy and pity can help in your affliction, won't you let me be of some little service—for Lucy's sake?" [...] "I know now how I suffered," he said, as he dried his eyes, "but I do not know even yet—and none other can ever know—how much your sweet sympathy has been to me to-day. I shall know better in time; and believe me that, though I am not ungrateful now, my gratitude will grow with my understanding. You will let me be like a brother, will you not, for all our lives—for dear Lucy's sake?"'

3 October, Jonathan: '"Nonsense, Mina. It is a shame to me to hear such a word [unclean]. I would not hear it of you; and I shall not hear it from you. May God judge me by my deserts, and punish me with more bitter suffering than even this hour, if by any act or will of mine anything ever come between us!" He put out his arms and folded her to his breast; and for a while she lay there sobbing."

3 October, Jonathan: "To one thing I have made up my mind: if we find out that Mina must be a vampire in the end, then she shall not go into that unknown and terrible land alone. I suppose it is thus that in old times one vampire meant many; just as their hideous bodies could only rest in sacred earth, so the holiest love was the recruiting sergeant for their ghastly ranks."

11 October, Mina: "You are nearest and dearest and all the world to me; our souls are knit into one, for all life and all time."

31 October, Mina: "We are truly in the hands of God. He alone knows what may be, and I pray Him, with all the strength of my sad and humble soul, that He will watch over my beloved husband; that whatever may happen, Jonathan may know that I loved him and honoured him more than I can say, and that my latest and truest thought will be always for him."

[local-human-disaster]

There's something about Sister Agatha's letter that just gets me. Jonathan asking her to write to his boss to apologise for the delay after he's been held captive by a monster for two months is just. Ugh. It's lowkey sad to know that part of him is still that earnest young man, always trying to do his best, but then his encounter with Dracula has changed him forever, giving him what is probably PTSD/C-PTSD and a lot of damage. He'll never be just a young lawyer striving for his family, part of him/his identity will be tied to Dracula (being Dracula's victim), but he's already trying so hard to move on, already thinking of his job. It's not necessarily a good thing? You're having a brain fever, Mister Harker. And you worry even more about the state of mind he's in, to try and hurry on even when it seems like he still has a long way to go in recovery.

But then, you have that part where Agatha says "oh he's told me everything about you Ms Murray" and where even she admits Jonathan has "won all hearts by his sweetness and gentleness". And you think, oh, the old Jonathan, the sweet kind man we've all come to know and love is still there despite all the pain he's been through, and maybe there's really hope for him and for everyone, that things will get better slowly but surely.

[vigilskeep]

Hi Harker! So I'm playing da2 for the first time after following you for years, and I really like what you've talked about before setting up tactics so that your siblings/romance/etc respond to come and protect you when under attack or below x health. Would you mind explaining how you do that? Idk if I'm missing something but these tactics options don't seem to be very extensive 🥴

it’s hard to do anything incredibly specific, “protect me if i’m under x health” might be beyond it, but: inputting Enemy Attacking: Hawke -> Attack will have them go for anyone coming after you. you can also input more specific commands for if Enemy Attacking: Hawke, like with my archer i’ve been having bethany or merrill cast horror to take anyone trying to attack me out of play for a bit. you could probably also have fenris or isabela use something like taunt or across the bow to draw the enemy’s attention from you, that would be cute. whatever takes ur fancy!!

(the above is not just fun storytelling it’s actual good tactics. protect ur squishies)

actually, you could probably use da2’s ‘Use current condition for next tactic’ action, which i haven’t taken advantage of before, to do something more specific. i wonder if you input ‘Hawke: Health <50% -> Use current condition for next tactic’ and then ‘Enemy Attacking: Hawke -> Attack’, maybe you really could have them particularly come to your aid if you’re already hurt. i’ve never tried this but food for thought!

[moliathh]

This had been irking me so i have to say it. I know Hellsing is a horror media with a LOT of flashy action scene, however, it is unjust to see it as solely gore and fights. I've seen complaints about how adding a "romance" in will reduce the quality of the story as an "action horror". (specifically speaking is between Alucard and Integra because of course in the end of the day this is just ship war, not a serious discussion whatsoever) I would argue that Hellsing is never ONLY about the actions. Yall might have already noticed how Alucard is too OP, and it was not even because he got any tricks up his sleeves. He is simply invincible, his mechanism is just that hes a "deus ex machina". He did NAWT need to start out with zero and levelling up like your common action anime protagonist. It's not a first time a central character is overpowered in an unreasonable way. A way you could interpret this trope is that it was not about battles, not the physcial one, but the development in their characteristic, their thoughts and emotions and ideology all that stuffs. A classic example is Sir Gawain and The Green Knight (TGK), where all of their (physical) battles are nonsense and did not mean anything in terms of combat, they dont even fight each other, even the climax (the decapitation of TGK) was dismissed into a looney tunes moment. BECAUSE OF COURSE IT WAS NEVER ABOUT THE BATTLE NOR PHYSICAL DEVELOPMENT, it was the internal struggle and maturing in character. THAT is what's happening in Hellsing IF yall look pass the very flashy facade of gore scenes Hirano put up. READ BETWEEN THE LINES, because he's not gonna hand it out to you on a plate. If you want to see how each character developed you have to look closely at their reactions and dialogues, not how they fight.

SO, imo, it's reducing the quality and message of Hellsing to interpret it solely as an action horror media, not the other way around. AND MIND YOU, romance subplot and action horror can coexist. For what does the character fight? A higher ideal? Power? Fun? Love? All that is noteworthy to think about when you engage in a media display many fight scenes. DONT YOU WANNA KNOW WHY THEY FIGHT THAT HARD ???? and in this case it is VERY obvious that Alucard is motivated by Integra. LIKE it cant be more obvious

And I'm so tired of seeing "Alucard only listen to Integra because of the seal and shes a Hellsing". Bestie, he literally ripped Richard's hand off, we dont even know the extent of the seal, like how far? or can it REALLY control Alucard? Besides, if you have read The Dawn you would see what a damn lazy ass Alucard was, Arthur sent him on a mission and he didn't even bother to walk on his own and just sleep safe and sound in his coffin until he felt like waking up??? Compare that to his enthusiasm to beg Integra on four just for her order and even purposefully tick her off by asking about her enthusiasm for war, oh and did we collectively forget this

(This is the Dark Horse eng scan if i remember correctly? i might be mistaken idk)

Sure it could just be a mere parallel, "The woman he personally desired" might only means Mina Harker and not directly Integra herself, I see. But, why bother choosing this parallel, and RIGHT after this panel he went STRAIGHT to Integra to ask for her order.

You know how enthusiastic he is with a fight and everything was already laid before him, worthy enemies and all. Yet he would not act without her words? I did not see him needing permission before ripping Richard's hand off... Also the seal did NAWT ask him to do all this

There are more of his sickening and excessive display of obedience but i don't have time to pull the panels out yet, but we all know its there since Alucard's submissive attitude and Integra's bossy demeanour is one of their most appealing traits, I know, because it is literally one of the BIGGEST selling points and running joke of the fandom, funnyyyy how people always love to call Alucard a sub and use words such as "freaky" and "slutty" to call him as if he didn't reserved this treatment for ONLY Integra. Sure Integra is a demanding boss to even her enemies, and it works like wonder everytime, because she's Integra, she mastered Alucard, others are just piece of cake to her. But that's not the same case with Alucard. Major literally said "She is the only authority Alucard recognizes". And have Alucard extended the phrase "My master" and all the begging and insinuating jokes to anyone else? It's so convenient isnt it, to just take one specific trait of Alucard's personality and make it his entire character without considering to WHO he directed those innuendos to.

Oh and I haven't walk us to the final chapter yet, like the seal did NAWWWWWTTT asked him to call her "Countess" (or Count, depending on the translators) and literally he could accept his death becoming a paradox? Wasn't Alucard had been craving an end for a long while now? Why the need to return just because Integra asked him to??? Be serious for a moment here

Also a personal interpretation of mine that could be a stretch or just pure delulu is that, in the manga AND the anime adaptation, the last word Alucard said after goodbye is "Integra" (In both Japanese and English dub, the word order is exactly the same), not "Master" or "Integra HELLSING". The same goes when he addressed how he can kill without remorse but the decision is in her hand, he also said "I am a monster, now regarding you, Integra". To me that is an indicator for how he CARED for her not just because she's a Hellsing or his master but she's Integra, from the first of their meeting it was very clear, that Alucard wounded A HELLSING to protect Integra.

So... even non-romantically, you cannot deny that Alucard voluntarily worked for Integra. They DO care about each other a lot, even platonically, their bond is almost like soulmates with how well they trust and understand each other. I just don't like it when people keep side-stepping the depth of their relationship just because you don't like to ship them romantically. These are the canon informations you can't just seriously unironically say that there was nothing there.

And oh don't even get me started on the "But he is a vampire, the enemy of her family and he hates Hellsing because of Abraham something something stockholm syndrome something she's ace coded she's lesbian coded she swore to be a virgin until death she wouldnt throw it away for the enemy of her family etcera etcera" you're saying it as if ace people aren't allowed to date or have sex and you're saying it as if Alucard isn't canonically genderfluid. Why always view the ship as solely heteronormative while they were never conventional to begin with. And MIND YOU, i thought everyone love the enemies to lovers trope?? they were BARELY stockholm syndrome at all did we forget about the Bird of Hermes analogy as a metaphor for loyalty voluntarily given.

If you care so much about "monsters and humans are forbidden" and "they are not canon" maybe treat every ship with the same attitude since MOST of hellsing most popular ships fit into that exact two sentences above, maybe except Pip x Seras is canon, but they're also human x monster, so what now???? Just hate on a ship all you like, I hate ships too and I hate them because I don't like them, that's all, no need to do extra mental gymnastic to prove the ship is "wrong" or their shippers are "wrong".

[c-schroed]

Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992) Or Why The Probably Most Accurate Movie Adaptation Of Dracula Still Is Not Accurate Enough

I mentioned some time ago - while salivating over the marvellous razor scene of Francis Ford Coppola's Dracula adaptation - that there is quite some stuff to unpack here. And now I found some time to unpack. So let's begin. I'll start with the good stuff, firstly the good stuff that's not in the book (i.e., the Flourishes), than the good stuff that's true to the book (the Well-Conserved). Thirdly, I'll make note of things that were, unnervingly, changed (by which I mean They Came Back Wrong), and then I'll deal with what is unfortunately left out from the book (the Missing). And finally, finally I'll rant over that two bad things that never were in the book in the first place (a section I'll call JUST WHY?).

So. A tragedy in five acts. Here we go.

Act I - The Flourishes

The razor scene. I think I dealt with this enough by now. It's perfection and I'll die on that hill.

The music. Obviously, Bram Stoker's gothic lil masterpiece is lacking some gorgeous score. But mourn no longer, because Wojciech Kilar cooked up some dashing, pushing tune for us, fitting perfectly to this dark tale of spreading darkness and deepening madness.

Some basic knowledge about blood groups. Yeah, Stoker can't be blamed for this, but still. It's a nice addition to remind us that we do indeed live in a world where blood groups exist.

The Westenra Estate. As much as I pity that the lovely town of Whitby did not make it into the movie, I do love Lucy Westenra's house. Because I'm a sucker for hedge mazes. Simple as that.

Those glasses. Those. Fucking. Nice. Glasses.

Act II - The Well-Conserved

The plot in general. Yes, there are a lot of maddening differences, as we will see soon. But still, this movie at least makes the impression that most of the people working on it had indeed read the darn novel. Which is something that I can't say about many other Dracula adaptations I have seen.

The costumes, the sets, the atmosphere. Well done, everyone!

The Actors. The good thing about being not native in a language is that one is not very prone to dialects that seem off. And as I happen to not be a native speaker of English, I have little problems with Keanu Reeves and Winona Ryder adding some US touch to what should be very, very, v e r y British characters. I even find Reeves perfectly fitting for the oh so darn young Jonathan Harker. And the rest of the cast is marvellous, too (with the exception of Winona Ryder, see below for details). Especially Tom Waits, who is hard-wired to the name of Renfield in my brain ever since I first saw this movie. And Gary Oldman as Dracula… Well. I think I already made clear what opinion I have about that sexy bastard.

Some lucky few of lovely quotes made it over to the film. Dracula's welcome. The Fowl Bauble of Human Vanity, of course. And Qunincey almost making me faint when saying "Little girl" when I least expected it.

Act III - They Came Back Wrong

The dates. Goshdarnit, the dates! It's an epistolary novel, so why make the effort of making up completely new dates for events that already had a precise date in the novel? I just don't get it. And it unnerves me. Every. Fucking. Time.

Time in general. Watching the movie after Dracula Daily makes it feel so very, very hasty. Jonathan travels to Castle Dracula like it's no thing at all. And the first few days in Castle Dracula are condensed into one weird evening.

Dracula meeting Mina before Jonathan is back. I really, really loved the book for avoiding the most terrible tropes. And then comes this movie, and struts right into this terrible pitfall.

Mina. I'm sorry, usually I love the work of Winona Ryder, but here she was way too bland. Maybe it was because her character had quite a revamp (ha. ha.) and no one cared to tell her what new approach she should take. But whatever reason, the clever, adorable train fiend of the original did not deserve this!

Act IV - The Missing

The Voyage of the Demeter is way too short. Where is "But I am captain, and I must not leave my ship"? Where is the poor sea captain tying himself to the wheel? And where is his funeral? Oh, I really missed all that. And, I mean, I don't mind hearing Anthony Hopkins read the lines, but would it have been such an expense to at least hire an additional actor to voice the correspondent or the sea captain?

Jonathan Holding Mina By the Arm. That's really not an objectively big issue. That's just me who fell in love with JonMina after reading this chapter. And almost no one does it properly. They deserve justice!

(Thanks a ton to @smieska for capturing my mood just perfectly!)

Act V - JUST WHY?

Elisabeta. Don't get me wrong here: All of the oh so tragic Drac backstory they invented for this movie is terribly unnecessary. But in this sea of uselessness, the tragically deceased wife of Vlad Țepeș that just so happens to perfectly resemble Mina Murray is an audience-insulting island of unoriginality. I mean, yeah, I guess someone wanted to add some romance to the story of Vlad the Fucking Impaler. Because, well, nineties or so. But Mina, of all women? Why not invent some new character that can be bothered with such stuff? Why ruin an all-nice JonMina ship? I don't get the whole new backstory, and I especially don't get this aspect.

Dracula raping Lucy in his shitty werewolf form. Everything about this is wrong. And it has no relevance for the plot. Just. Blergh.

Epilogue

It's cruel to watch Francis Ford Coppola's take on Dracula right after finishing @re-dracula. I know that now. Everything is still too fresh. It's a good movie, after all, but especially because it's quite good it is frustrating to be so terribly aware of all its shortcomings. In a few weeks or so, I would recommend it, again, I guess. As long as it's still Dracula Off-Season. 7 out of 10 points.

[tangents-within-tangents]

Art I made after my first reading of Dracula earlier this year, particularly inspired by one of my many favorite quotes:

"It interested me, even at that moment, to see, that, whilst the face of white set passion worked convulsively over the bowed head, the hands tenderly and lovingly stroked the ruffled hair."

Listen, the Harkers mean so much to me. Their relationship is honestly one of (if not THE) sweetest, healthiest, and most compelling relationships I've ever read and this book is 126 years old!

To me, Mina's assault is the most horrifying and heartbreaking scene in the book. It's hard to see a character you love go through something like that, but it's really cathartic to have a character there doing exactly what you wish you could, providing the well-needed comfort.