#The Dawns Here Are Quiet (2015)

[i-have-made-a-flat-thing]

This show made me cry like nobody's business - I just sat on the sofa with my earphones and tablet, openly weeping. I've cried at films and television since, but I hadn't really before this and I think it changed me into a person who cries sometimes at TV. Not often, but sometimes

А Зори Здесь Тихие - The Dawns Here Are Quiet (2015)

They were just five girls. And they didn’t let you pass.

[rollercoasterwords]

I haven't seen many horror films and would like some recommendations. What are some must-watch horror movies for someone new to the genre?

oooh this is such a fun question but so hard 2 answer bc horror is like. such a versatile genre & where u should start depends a lot on like what type of movies u enjoy/what ur looking for….

like if u want sci-fi/alien horror then the obvious place 2 start is w alien (1979) and aliens (1986) (there are other sequels as well but the first 2 are the best) & then also the thing (1982) and its prequel film that came out in 2011 (also titled the thing). AND of course the fly (1986) is a must-see...and if u want something more recent nope (2022) or no one will save you (2023)...both a little more artsy and slow-moving than the 80s recs on this list but very very good <3

if ur interested in slashers then again start w the classics scream (1996) is SO fun it deserves its spot in the horror hall of fame...i know what you did last summer (1997) is also a fun & slightly older slasher; cabin in the woods (2011) is great if u want some meta-slasher-horror; ready or not (2019) isn't necessarily a conventional slasher but i'd still include it in this category & it's one of my faves

if found footage is ur jam PLEASE start w creep (2014) probably my fave found footage horror film ever...but also i'm not a huge found footage fan generally speaking lol. that being said the blair witch project (1999) is of course the classic here but it's not my personal fave; other good options if u want something genuinely freaky/scary are the bay (2012) hell house llc (2015) and gonjiam: haunted asylum (2018)

if u want like possessions & demons etc then. start with jennifer's body (2009) if u want horror-comedy it is SO fun & a staple of the genre atp but if u want something scarier then it follows (2014) is a popular one. there have also been a lot of good possesion movies coming out recently i thought smile (2022) talk to me (2022) and when evil lurks (2023) (<- literally JUST watched this one today lol) were all quite spooky

& sort of possession-adjacent but if ur more into hauntings, ghosts, etc then start w the babadook (2014) or his house (2020) both SO good. also the shining (1980) is a classic & la llorona (2019) is a personal fave of mine (NOT. the u.s. 'curse of la llorona' movie. the guatemalan one.)

if u want witches then start w the craft (1996) another sort of fun one <3 or if u want a classic then hungry wives (1972). the love witch (2016) if u want a visually beautiful & less scary one; the witch (2015) if u want a scarier one.

if u want eerie fantasy-horror then the company of wolves (1984) or tale of tales (2015). if u want a creature feature then blood red sky (2021) for vampires, ginger snaps (2000) for werewolves, and a quiet place (2018) for like post-apocalyptic creature invasion horror.

& SPEAKING of post-apocalyptic. if u want zombies i could make a whole separate post but. START w train to busan (2016) & seoul station (2016) the dynamic duo <3 & then if u want some classics from the genre of course night of the living dead (1968), dawn of the dead (2004...i haven't seen the original one u could watch that one too tho...), and 28 days later (2002). raw (2016) if u want an artsier one, the girl with all the gifts (2016) if u want a fun spin on zombie apocalypse, cargo (2017) if u want 2 cry. & if u want something funny then PLEASE watch zombie for sale (2019) or anna and the apocalypse (2017) or one cut of the dead (2017)

if u want kind of a slower-build psychological thriller then the invitation (2015) is one of my faves, but mother! (2017) is also good if u want an artsy pick & gerald's game (2017) and lyle (2014) are good as well

and then just a grab-bag of horror movies that didn't fit perfectly into any of these categories: barbarian (2022) if u want something really scary, piggy (2022) if u want slow-building horror, midsommar (2019) if u want sunshiney culty a24 aesthetic, us (2019) if u want something that'll freak u out & is slasher-adjacent, get out (2017) if u want slow-build thriller vibes, and teeth (2007) if u want teen-girl horror classic.

bear in mind that many of these films overlap between the categories i've divided them into 4 this answer, as is the nature of horror...if u were asking me 2 just like. force myself 2 choose a top 10 horror movies 2 introduce someone 2 horror w no preference 4 genre or vibe...i think my list would probably be (in no particular order):

alien (1979)

2. the fly (1986)

3. jennifer's body (2009)

4. ginger snaps (2000)

5. train to busan (2016) (<- pains me 2 say bc seoul station is my fave zombie movie of all time but if i had 2 choose just one zombie movie 2 introduce someone 2 the genre it would be this one...beginner zombie movie...)

6. scream (1996)

7. his house (2020)

8. barbarian (2022)

9. creep (2014)

10. us (2019)

[chriscdcase95]

Fanfic Preview: “Screaming Until Dawn”

This is for a spinoff to one of my current stories, Unlife is Strange. I've been cooking this one for a while, and should post the first chapter in the summer. Fall at the latest.

— — — —

Summary: In October of 2011, Kirby Reed was stabbed by Charlie Walker. While she ultimately pulled through, there was a point in her near death experience that she experienced what she thinks is a dream, but isn't sure; the life of a girl named “Sam” — not to be mistaken for that quiet Carpenter girl that Kirby sees around school — having a slumber party with her friends Jess, Emily and the Washington Twins. After she awoke, Kirby decided this was just a dream that felt so real, so she tried to put it behind her.

In February of 2015, Sam Giddings and her friends survived Mount Washington, but left with scars, as well as a target on their backs. As Sam tries to numb things and is caught up with the Federal Bureau of Control, she has recurring dreams that she’s not sure are dreams. In these dreams, Sam is a college student named “Kirby”, the only survivor of her friend group in what is called the second Woodsboro massacre. Sam thinks that she should know Woodsboro, but when she looks into it, she finds only dead ends. And so, she brushes these dreams off as just that.

In October of 2016, Kirby Reed started her last year at Bayfield University. With an aim to join the FBI, Kirby has been following True Crimes stories; before soon receiving a call to Maryland. There, she is attacked by other figures in black robes and white masks; and yet, they were not Ghostfaces. As Kirby looks into who or what called her here — often seeing the name “Ithaqua” — she finds herself more and more looking through the eyes, and walking in the shoes of “Samantha Giddings”. 

In October of 2016, a year after she and her friends survived Mount Washington and signed up with the FBC, Sam Giddings has been taking a sabbatical, focusing on her college career. Sam attends Bayfield University, preparing to enjoy a much needed break with Emily and Jessica, while the rest of their circle are working on a case overseas. It isn’t long when Sam receives a call from “work”. Investigating paranormal activity in Maryland, Sam is attacked by a distressed girl, who mistakes her for someone named “Kirby”. As Sam looks into who or what called her here, she finds herself more and more looking through the eyes, and walking in the shoes of “Kirby Reed”. 

— — — —

So let's break a few things down.

1. Set between Scream 4 and 2022, originally this story was going to be about Kirby's first case as an FBI agent.

But then I did the math on Kirby’s age — she would be 22 at the time of the story; to join the FBI, you have to be 23 at the time of appointment. So instead, this occurs in her last year at University. Where we see Kirby is somewhere between where Sidney was in the second and third Scream.

Being the sole survivor of her friend group, Kirby is nearly propped as a heroic survivor up the same way Sidney was, but ultimately shied away from the spotlight.  

Unlike the more outgoing Sam Giddings, Kirby becomes more introverted as a coping mechanism; she's barely friends with her dorm mates; a lot of the people who try to befriend her do so for attention; and she developed insomnia from her near death experience, and has to medicate to sleep.

Her romantic life is almost non-existent; most dates she goes on fizzle out or just end up being one night stands. Which takes even more of a downturn when her medical professor made some “advances” towards her.

In her down time, Kirby has taken an interest in true crimes, cold cases and unsolved mysteries, and studies up on them while planning to join the FBI; especially for “Ghostface-like” murders. At the time of this story, she has a special interest in the Lakewood killing sprees; the case of Brandon James; and the arrest and trial of Kieran Wilcox.

However, when she gets a call to Maryland, Kirby quickly realizes that she has a stalker —  or stalkers(s) — who have a special interest in her. But what has her curious is why they are calling her “Sam Giddings” and who this woman is. And with a growing supernatural presence surrounding her, Kirby finds herself a little out of her league. 

Now would the supernatural be out of place for Scream ? Sure, but besides this whole “alternate universe/timeline” deal, I try to keep it mostly in the background or backstory. While this may be a Scream/Until Dawn crossover...It may feel more like “The Mothman Prophecies meets Borrasca”.

I also lean to the idea we can't assume a Ghostface is dead unless they're shot in the head.

2. So as I said above, this fic is also a spin-off to Unlife is Strange, and picks up after the “Flashback Arc” set in 2015. In that story, the Until Dawn cast are recurring/supporting characters who made a witness protection deal with the Federal Bureau of Control; which roped some into doing “scout work” for the FBC.

Sam and Emily both got involved in the Arcadia Bay case, soon investigating Rachel Amber’s presence in LA; and later uncovered vampire cult activity in Seattle. You can read their investigation here, here, and here.

Despite Sam and Emily being promoted to field agents after this case, Sam opted to take a sabbatical for college. At the time of the story, Sam hasn’t seen her friends in months. Mike, Matt, Chris and Ashley are overseas, looking into a cold case; something involving a different breed of vampires in Iraq.

Emily spent the summer in Japan for her own sabbatical; in truth, she got involved in investigating sightings of the “sea dragon” of Odo Island. Jessica doesn't officially join in with the FBC until 2019, and instead, attended Windsor College, before also taking a break.

Sam initially intends to take a “girls trip” with Emily and Jess, before all three are pulled into Maryland by this “call”. There, they find a girl in the woods, who mistakes Sam for someone named “Kirby”. 

3. Like I said, I don’t plan to go overboard with the supernatural stuff.

While the wendigo may have some presence, I don’t see them being the threat. Rather they’d lurk in the background, being more of a spiritual influence than a direct menace. And it’s here where I do some education from growing up with these stories.

There are variations of the wendigo, with specific beliefs often differ by region or tradition.  Some traditions say not to speak of them in general; some say only not to do so in Winter months; I've also been told it's directly addressing them that draws their attention.

Some portray them as pure evil, representing greed or selfishness, and even colonialism (which I lean too); or as tragic victims (like Hannah and Josh), with some writers using them as metaphors of addiction.

Some say that there is no cure; another says they can be cured by being force fed hot soup or grease from animal fat. Some say they can only be killed by fire, cutting out their hearts, or getting a living colonoscopy from a least weasel. 

What I’m getting at is, there’s a version that might not be widespread, but still something I was taught growing up. If you kill a wendigo without the right precautions, its spirit will awaken, fixate on you, and make its mission in life to punish you.

To avoid this, you must dismember its body, burning the pieces, and scattering the ashes about. And even then, there's a story about one creating the world's first mosquitos from its ashes. So yeah, “killing” a wendigo does is make things personal.

Here, this occurred after the “They All Live” ending.

When the survivors escaped Mount Washington, the spirit of the Makkapitew followed after.  Being an already powerful and vicious spirit — which possessed not one, but two victims who’d resent them — the Makkapitew wasn't content with just killing them. Instead it torments  them with what I call “Eobard Thawne Buffoonery”.

So even if it's not the threat in this story, I can see its spirit having some presence in Sam's life, and that of her friends.

As with the mentions of Ithaqua, let's talk a little more about this verses’ lore. 

4. Ithaqua is an entity originating from the Cthulhu Mythos, being the son of Hastur, and based on the wendigo and the yeti. Later writers depict Ithaqua as being obsessed with spawning a child that would help awaken the Great Old Ones.

I previously included Ithaqua as a Greater Scope Villain in Love’s Sacrifices (alongside daddy Hastur) and passing mentions in Unlife is Strange.

In Love's Sacrifices, Ithaqua was the “human” son of Hastur born to the Paleo Siberian people and was a mediator between his father and mankind. 10,000 years ago, his following spread across what would become Eastern Europe, Eastern Asia, and North America. His reign ended when Hastur was slain by an “Earthly Hero” and Ithaqua himself was bound to another world, unable to directly interact with this one.

In Unlife is Strange, Ithaqua is mentioned as having some ties to Mount Washington. While I don’t see Ithaqua being a direct threat, his followers are around in the present day. Albeit not as an apocalyptic threat and nowhere near as powerful as they were 10,000 years ago.

They exist with the guise of Christian based institutions, akin to prosperity gospel preachers and televangelists, obsessed with making money, and breeding prosperity. Modern followers don’t even believe in Ithaqua as an entity, but a concept/symbol to live under — ironically akin to how actual Satanists view the devil.

5. As for pairings and ships...I don't see this story being too heavy in the romance department.

However, write Kirby as bi, if only because she seemed somewhat actually interested in Charlie in Scream 4. Though bout the only character I actually ship Kirby with is Sam (Carpenter), but she ain't likely to be in this story.

But the way I see it, Kirby isn't looking for a relationship at this point in the story. A fling or two maybe, but nothing serious. 

As for Sam (Giddings); I write her as being a lesbian and having a “friends with benefits” relationship with Jessica and Emily, both of whom I write as Bi. Sam may actually have romantic feelings for them, but in her mind they aren't dating dating.

In Unlife is Strange, it's mentioned that Sam took up a mild promiscuity to cope with her trauma. Besides Jessica and Emily, Sam also had a near fling with Rachel Amber. It’s also mentioned that during the Arcadia Bay investigation, Sam couldn't “keep it professional” with some of the witnesses/survivors, becoming very friendly with Max, Kate, Victoria and Chloe.

During her time at Bayfield, Sam had a few casual hookups with a couple of girls from her dorm. All this to say, this story probably isn't going to be too big on shipping, other than Sam, Jess and Emily's “girls trip”.

But even that may take a back seat to the actual drama in this story. Though if Kirby looks through Sam's eyes and experiences her life, I can see her experiencing Sam's relationship with Jessica and Emily. I can also see them catching on to Kirby if/when they see something off with Sam.

But who knows ? It'll be a while before it's up.

— — — —

Anyways, here’s a hypothetical soundtrack to cap things off

“Little Talks” by Of Monsters and Men.

2. “Poison” by Groove Coverage

3. “Dark Horse” by Amanda Marshall

4. “Broken” and “My Hands” by Leona Lewis

5. “Losing Your Memory” by Ryan Star.

6. “Hero” by Toni Braxton.

[delshorrorlist]

My Horror List

-Here is a list of my finished horror movies. The first portion is in an unknown order, and the second portion is when I started documenting the order-

1408 (2007)

#Alive (2020)

•REC (2007)

13 Ghosts (2001)

28 Days Later… (2002)

30 Days of Night (2007)

A Classic Horror Story (2021)

A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

A Quiet Place (2018)

Anaconda (1997)

Annabelle (2014)

Army of the Dead (2021)

As Above, So Below (2014)

Banana Splits Movie (2019)

Before I Awake (2016)

Bird Box (2018)

Black Sheep (2006)

Blood Red Sky (2021)

Brainscan (1994)

Butchers (2020)

Cadaver (2020)

Cargo (2017)

Carrie (1976)

Carrie (2013)

Child’s Play (1988)

Child’s Play (2019)

Children of the Corn (1984)

Christine (1983)

Color Out of Space (2019)

Cube (1997)

Dave Made a Maze (2017)

Dawn of the Dead (1978)

Dawn of the Dead (2004)

Day of the Dead (2008)

Death of Me (2020)

Devil (2010)

Doctor Sleep (2019)

Don’t Breathe (2016)

Eli (2019)

Escape Room (2019)

Escape Room: Tournament of Champions (2021)

Evil Ed (1995)

Fear Street: Part 1 - 1994 (2021)

Fear Street: Part 2 - 1978 (2021)

Fear Street: Part 3 - 1666 (2021)

Final Destination (2000)

Final Destination 2 (2003)

Final Destination 3 (2006)

The Final Destination (2009)

Final Destination 5 (2011)

Friday the 13th (2009)

From Dusk Till Dawn (1996)

Get Out (2017)

Grave Encounters (2011)

Grave Encounters 2 (2012)

Graveyard Shift (1990)

Gremlins (1984)

Halloween (1978)

Hellraiser (1987)

Hereditary (2018)

His House (2020)

Hostel (2005)

Housebound (2014)

Hush (2016)

Idle Hands (1999)

In the Tall Grass (2019)

Incantation (2022)

Insidious (2010)

Interview with the Vampire (1994)

Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978)

IT (2017)

IT: Chapter Two (2019)

Jaws (1975)

Jigsaw (2017)

Krampus (2015)

Lake Placid (1999)

Leatherface (2017)

Legion (2010)

Life (2017)

Lights Out (2016)

Little Evil (2017)

Ma (2019)

Mama (2013)

Maximum Overdrive (1986)

Midsommar (2019)

Monster House (2006)

My Bloody Valentine (1981)

No Escape Room (2018)

Nope (2022)

Oculus (2013)

Paranormal Activity (2007)

Peninsula (2020)

Pet Sematary (1989)

Pet Sematary (2019)

Poltergeist (1982)

Psycho (1960)

Purge (2013)

Purge II (2014)

Purge III (2016)

Purge IV (2018)

Purge V (2021)

Ready or Not (2019)

Saw (2004)

Saw II (2005)

Saw III (2006)

Saw IV (2007)

Saw V (2008)

Saw VI (2009)

Saw VII (2010)

Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark (2019)

Scream (1996)

Scream 2 (1997)

Shaun of the Dead (2004)

Silver Bullet (1985)

Sinister (2012)

Society (1989)

Spiral (2019)

Spiral: From the Book of Saw (2021)

Splice (2009)

Summer of Fear (1978)

Tetsuo: The Iron Man (1989)

Texas Chainsaw (2013)

Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022)

The Babadook (2014)

The Blair Witch Project (1999)

The Cabin in the Woods (2011)

The Conjuring (2013)

The Craft (1996)

The Crazies (2010)

The Darkness (2016)

The Descent (2005)

The Empty Man (2020)

The Endless (2017)

The Escape Room (2018)

The Evil Dead (1981)

The Final Girls (2015)

The Forest (2016)

The Hills Have Eyes (1977)

The Ice Cream Truck (2017)

The Lazarus Effect (2015)

The Lost Boys (1987)

The Mist (2007)

The Nun (2018)

The Platform (2019)

The Possession (2012)

The Resort (2021)

The Ring (2002)

The Ritual (2018)

The Ruins (2008)

The Shining (1980)

The Silence of the Lambs (1991)

The Sixth Sense (1999)

The Strangers (2008)

The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974)

The Thing (1982)

The Void (2016)

The Woman in Black (2012)

There’s Someone Inside Your House (2021)

Train to Busan (2016)

Tremors (1990)

Truth or Dare (2018)

Tucker & Dale vs. Evil (2010)

Tusk (2014)

Unfriended (2014)

Us (2019)

Uzumaki (2000)

Vivarium (2019)

Warm Bodies (2013)

What We Do in the Shadows (2014)

Willy’s Wonderland (2021)

Winchester (2018)

Wish Upon (2017)

Would You Rather? (2012)

Zombieland (2009)

Zombieland: Double Tap (2019)

Dated Movies

-From this point on I have the date and order I watched these movies, everything above I watched before everything below-

Drag Me to Hell (2009) - October 4th 2022, #176

The Privilege (2022) - October 12th 2022, #177

Halloween Ends (2022) - October 15th 2022, #178

The Witches of Eastwick (1987) - October 24th 2022, #179

The Perfection (2019) - October 25th 2022, #180

Barbarian (2021) - October 25th 2022, #181

The Faculty (1998) - October 30th 2022, #182

The Exorcist (1973) - October 31th 2022, #183

Smile (2022) - November 27th 2022, #184

The Menu (2022) - January 8th 2023, #185

Ghostwatch (1992) - January 28th 2023, #186

Skinamarink (2023) - February 2nd 2023, #187

The Collection (2012) - February 4th 2023, #188

The Innocents (2021) - February 7th 2023, #189

Deadstream (2022) - February 7th 2023, #190

The Dark and the Wicked (2020) - February 7th 2023, #191

Kolobos (1999) - February 8th 2023, #192

Scare Package (2019) - February 9th 2023, #193

Re-Animator (1985) - February 10th 2023, #194

The Boy (2016) - February 15th 2023, #197

The Invitation (2022) - February 18th 2023, #198

Grizzly (1976) - February 18th 2023, #199

C.O.R.N.: Field of Screams (2021) - March 2nd 2023, #200

Slumber Party Masscare II (1987) - March 2nd 2023, #201

The Slumber Party Massacre (1982) - March 3rd 2023, #202

The Silence (2019) - March 5th 2023, #203

Once Upon a Time at Christmas (2017) - March 5th 2023, #204

Evil Toons (1991) - March 15th 2023, #205

Sleepaway Camp (1983) - March 15th 2023, #206

Prom Night (1980) - March 15th 2023, #207

Cooties (2014) - March 19th 2023, #208

House (1985) - March 20th 2023, #209

House of Wax (2005) - March 25th 2023, #210

Prom Night (2008) - March 25th 2023, #211

Werewolf in a Girl's Dormitory (1961) - March 31st 2023, #212

Wolf Creek (2005) - April 2nd 2023, #213

Body Melt (1993) - April 2nd 2023, #214

Bodies Bodies Bodies (2022) - April 5th 2023, #215

Death Becomes Her (1992) - April 18th 2023, #216

Stigmata (1999) - April 19th 2023, #217

Dead Silence (2007) - April 19th 2023, #218

Elevator (2012) - April 20th 2023, #219

Bad Hair (2020) - April 22nd 2023, #220

We Need to Do Something (2021) - 25th 2023, #221

Good Boy (2020) - April 25th 2023, #222

Pilgrim (2019) - April 27th 2023, #223

Piggy (2022) - April 28th 2023, #224

They Come Knocking (2019) - April 28th 2023, #225

Death Spa (1989) - April 30th 2023, #226

The Naked Witch (1961) - April 30th 2023, #227

I'm Just Fucking With You (2019) - May 2nd 2023, #228

Critters (1986) - May 3rd 2023, #229

Chopping Mall (1986) - May 5th 2023, #230

The Farm (2018) - May 12th 2023, #231

Motel Hell (1980) - May 12th 2023, #232

Jeepers Creepers (2001) - May 14th 2023, #233

Mother's Day (1980) - May 15th 2023, #234

Slaxx (2020) - May 15th 2023, #235

Slaughterhouse (1987) - May 16th 2023, #236

One Missed Call (2008) - May 19th 2023, #237

Mayhem (2017) - May 19th 2023, #238

Boar (2017) - May 19th 2023, #239

Pieces (1983) - May 22nd 2023, #240

Pandamonium (2020) - May 24th 2023, #241

All Cheerleaders Die (2014) - May 27th 2023, #242

Waxwork (1985) - May 28th 2023, #243

They Look Like People (2015) - May 28th 2023, #244

Class of Nuke'em High (1986) - May 28th 2023, #245

Fear PHarm (2020) - May 29th 2023, #246

The Stuff (1985) - June 1st 2023, #247

Planet Terror (2007) - June 2nd 2023, #248

Fear PHarm 2 (2021) - June 5th 2023, #249

Mom and Dad (2018) - June 8th 2023, #250

Renfield (2023) - June 11th 2023, #251

After Dark: The Task (2011) - June 12th 2023, #252

Terrifier (2016) - June 19th 2023, #253

It Follows (2015) - June 20th 2023, #254

Choose Or Die (2022) - June 20th 2023, #255

31 (2016) - June 21st 2023, #256

The Autopsy of Jane Doe (2016) - June 22nd 2023, #257

Apollo 18 (2011) - June 22nd 2023, #258

Triangle (2009) - June 23rd 2023, #259

Sorority House Massacre (1986) - June 23rd 2023, #260

Braid (2018) - June 24th 2023, #261

Await Further Instructions (2018) - June 26th 2023, #262

Ghost Ship (2002) - July 9th 2023, #263

Annihilation (2018) - July 11th 2023, #264

Antrum: The Deadliest Film Ever Made (2018) - July 13th 2023, #265

Scare BNB (2019) - July 19th 2023, #266

Sleepaway Camp II: Unhappy Campers (1988) - July 20th 2023, #267

Sleepaway Camp III: Teenage Wasteland (1989) - July 20th 2023, #268

The Bunnyman Massacre (2014) - July 26th 2023, #269

House (1977) - July 26th 2023, #270

Night of the Comet (1983) - August 3rd 2023, #271

Phantasm (1979) - August 8th 2023, #272

Evil Dead 2 (1987) - August 8th 2023, #273

Battle Royale (2000) - August 8th 2023, #274

Trucks (1998) - August 8th 2023, #275

247F (2011) - August 15th 2023, #276

2001 Maniacs (2005) - August 15th 2023, #277

The Video Dead (1987) - August 17th 2023, #278

Human Resources (2021) - August 17th 2023, #279

Parents (1989) - August 18th 2023, #280

Urban Legend (1998) - September 8th 2023, #281

You’re Next (2011) - November 21st 2023, #282

Frogs (1972) - November 21st 2023, #283

Jennifer’s Body (2009) - January 8th 2024, #284

The Hunt (2020) - January 8th 2024, #285

The Amusement Park (1975) - January 21st 202;, #286

Diary of the Dead (2007) - February 2nd 2024, #287

Corporate Animals (2019) - February 7th, 2024, #288

The Vampire Bat (1933) - February 7th 2024, #289

Blades (1989) - February 7th 2024, #290

Martyrs (2008) - February 7th 2024, #291

Game of Death (2017) - February 14th 2024, #292

Night Swim (2024) - February 16th 2024, #293

976-EVIL (1988) - February 18th 2024, #294

Microwave Massacre (1979) - February 18th 2024, #295

Street Trash (1987) - February 20th 2024, #296

Escape the Field (2022) - February 21st 2024, #297

Auntie Lee’s Meat Pies (1992) - March 3rd 2024, #298

Return to Horror High (1987) - March 23rd 2024, #299

The Beach House (2019) - April 14th 2024, #300

[mutatedangels-a]

get to know the author!

name : ana!

pronouns :  she/her

preference of communication : i usually use tumblr ims first, then if our muses click or i find that our plotting is more in depth and the little tumblr im box is too small for me, i like to switch to disco!!

most active muse :  either eli, soleil, or kirk! i find that they're kind of universal and can be applied to so many different plots.

experience / how many years : are we counting 2009 when i was absolutely horrible on message boards? i vividly remember my miley cyrus character being in a love triangle with a zac efron and some other famous celebrity back then, maybe vanessa hudgens?!?! and i cried irl bc the zac efron did not choose my miley. LMAO. anyways um, 14 years!! YEESH!

best experience : it's a tie between right now (i'm going thru a tumblr renaissance of sorts after being inactive on here for years throughout college & start of adulthood) and between 2013-2015! i maintained such fun blogs, like a kyo sohma from fruits basket, a peter parker, a single oc muse, and a multi-muse!

rp pet peeves : anon hate or drama!

fluff, angst, or smut : all of the above, with fluff and angst as top two and smut being sprinkled in ( i am not an expert or even frequent smut writer ).

plots or memes : i like to start with a plot if either my partner or i have an idea, but if there are times where i just want to toss around interactions randomly between pairs that may not be outwardly compatible or connected, memes!

long or short replies : i looove long replies! they tend to be a little time consuming but i find i get through them decently, and i just love exploring all the details and the setting of the plot. if the situation doesn't call for much length, then i definitely do shorter replies too, but i still somehow break it up into 2-3 small paragraphs.

time to write : hilariously i have built a habit of waking up at the ass crack of dawn, maybe like 6 am, to get some quiet writing time in while the hubs is still asleep and work doesn't start for a couple of hours! so morning, i suppose, is my favorite time!

are you like your muses : i am suuuper unlike my muses but they like to steal my jokes and sense of humor.

tagged by: no one - lovingly borrowed from @samhlaiocht <3

tagging: everyone who wants to!! @wynterlanding @mere-lullaby @octoberscrye @wintxrx @carp3diems @worthless-weight-in-gold @chainsawcutiie

[kitkatt0430]

So I mentioned Closer and Closer Still the other day. Gotta give a Six Sentence Sunday update on that now. :D

"I went to visit my father today," Barry replied, voice equally quiet.  "I haven't seen him since he was arrested.  There wasn't a trial, so... but it was like everything happened yesterday when I saw him."

"Do you want to talk about your visit?  I admit... I am curious as to why you choose to speak with him now, after all this time.  But I also recognize this is a very private thing for you, Barry.  So if you would rather simply to have company or to be alone..." hesitantly, Wells reached out to take Barry's hand and squeezed it.  "I'd like to be there for you, if you'll let me."

Eobard - I'm gonna be supportive, this is totally the correct social thing to do and will make Barry want to be friends with me. Barry - He's holding my hand!!!! *blushes*

Disasters the lot of them. Eobard's not really taking Barry's crush on the Reverse Flash too seriously here. After all, he knows what it's like to have a childhood crush on the Flash and that there's a difference between crushing on the idea of someone and actually having feelings for that person. And since the Reverse Flash killed Nora - saving Barry from an abusive home in the process - that's just an idle childhood crush that's resurfaced, right?

When he realizes that Barry likes him as Harrison because of how well they're getting to know each other - with the Harrison persona being rather paper thin these days... that's really gonna throw him for a loop. Because he does rather like Barry too, after all. This Barry. Who he thought he'd hate as much as the previous timeline's Flash... but he doesn't. Can't.

I'm working on the second chapter of Welcome to 2015, but that's getting close enough to being ready to post that I'm just gonna wait on it. I do have a Buffy fic that I'm working on, though. I'll post a snippet from that. Another Buffy/Anya fic, though not part of the series I've been writing on and off.

Buffy's honestly a little bored with the stripper part of the party, but at least Halfrek was right about Anya enjoying herself.  Buffy sends Dawn out of the room - the room the stripper was in, anyway, they had two reserved - and then spent the rest of that time the stripper was present with Tara playing 'guess what's in the box' regarding the gifts they'd brought Anya.  They both guessed Halfrek's was a dildo - they're right - and that Dawn got her a bodice ripper type romance novel - they're both correct there too.  (Buffy had gotten Anya a new dress to wear on the beach during the honeymoon and Tara got her a box of condoms.  Which had Buffy doing a spit-take with her champagne when the box was pulled from the tissue paper filled bag.  How was it that Buffy's gift was the only one that didn't involve sex in some way?)

The rest of the party is fun, though, with them nomming on green cupcakes that match the bridesmaid dresses and watching a marathon of Anya's favorite rom coms on pay per view.  They take over the hotel's hot tub at one point, everyone a little tipsy except Dawn. 

It's a S6 AU where Buffy and Spike don't hook up, but instead become good friends. Things fall out a bit differently when Tara and Willow break up. And Anya winds up living at the Summers' residence after her wedding to Xander doesn't actually happen.

It might tip over into Buffy/Anya/Tara, but right now the only ship I'm really planning on is Buffy/Anya.

[ailendolin]

Whump Wednesday - 32 - Bill (2015)

Title: Cake and Flowers [AO3 - Sequel to Daisy]

Characters: Ian, Gabriel, Anne, Bill and the children

Prompt: Gabriel birthday one-shot - Prompt by this lovely anon here.

A/N: Happy birthday, anon! I hope you're having a fantastic day! Enjoy your WW birthday fic!

Prompts are open, so if you want me to write a story for you as well just send me an ask with the fandom, characters and your prompt. I’m writing for Ghosts, Yonderland, Horrible Histories and Bill at the moment.

Six Idiots Whump Wednesday / Fluff Friday masterlist is here.

————

Cake and Flowers

Dawn was not even creeping up on the horizon yet when Ian got dressed and quietly tiptoed out of Bill and Anne’s house in Stratford, armed with nothing but a basket and a lamp. This early in the morning, the muddy roads of the town were completely deserted and the houses to his left and right still dark and silent. Not even birds were singing as he made his way through the sleeping village. Ian couldn’t even remember the last time he had experienced such quietness. He supposed some people might find it strange and eerie but he found it rather peaceful. It almost felt as if he was the only person in the world.

A few months ago, that thought would have brought him comfort. His life had been an endless circle of doing his best and expecting the worst – with the worst more often than not being exactly what he got. He would have done anything to make everyone else disappear back then just to get a break from the pain and loneliness that had been his steady companions for so long.

Not anymore, though. He had friends now – a thought still strange to him even after all these months. There were days when waking up in Anne and Bill’s house in London still felt like a dream to him that was too good to be true; especially when he got to sit down with them in the morning for breakfast and Gabriel smiled at him from across the table.

Ian’s cheeks heated up in the cool morning air just thinking about that smile. He didn’t know if he’d ever been so enamoured with someone before. He’d been more a boy than a man when he set out from home all those years ago to try and find work that would pay enough to help his parents feed their ever-growing family. There hadn’t been any time for – well, romance, he supposed; and not much opportunity for it either. None of Croydon’s maids would have ever risked the Earl’s wrath by starting an affair right under his nose and Ian simply didn’t have enough money to spend what little time off work he got inviting pretty, young ladies to a fine meal in one of London’s more respectable taverns.

Stepping off the road onto the dewy meadow outside of Stratford, Ian took a deep breath of the misty morning air. Things were better now that he was working for Anne and Bill. No one shouted or threw things at him anymore, he had more free time than he knew what to do with and was paid rather handsomely for his work around the house and the theatre. He didn’t keep that extra money for himself, though. Some of his younger siblings had their own families now and were in dire need of financial support. Not too long ago, both his sisters Margaret and Mary had lost their husbands to the plague and his brother Will had been out of work ever since his accident – no one knew if his foot would ever heal well enough for him to be able to walk without a cane again. So every extra penny Ian earned was needed, desperately so, and Ian gave all he could spare gladly.

Even if it meant not being able to afford a proper birthday present for Gabriel and having to get up before sunrise to pick her a basket full of flowers instead.

She deserves more, he thought with a sigh. No matter what Anne had said the day before, he wished he could afford to buy Gabriel the fabric she’d been eyeing so wistfully at the market last week, or that new pair of scissors she’d been going on about for almost a month now. Instead here he was, picking flowers in the dark, hoping their variety would make up for their commonness.

The sun was just starting to peek above the horizon by the time Ian had filled his basket to the brim with all the spring flowers he could find: daffodils and tulips, forsythia and weigela, primroses and hyacinths. His shoes, completely soaked through from the morning dew by then, squelched with every step as he hurried back to Anne and Bill’s home. Hopefully, Gabriel would still be asleep so he’d have time to cut and arrange the flowers before she saw them. Perhaps he’d even have time for a quick change of clothes, he mused as he walked down the street.

The warm, yellow light streaming through the kitchen windows upon his arrival dashed his hopes. For a moment, Ian steps faltered – if Gabriel was awake, his surprise (little as it was) would be ruined – but his thoughts barely had a second to spiral before the door opened and Anne – not Gabriel, thank god – ushered him inside.

“I thought I’d get breakfast going so you’d have more time to get everything ready,” she smiled and took the lamp from him. Her eyes fell to the flowers. “Oh Ian, these look wonderful!”

Self-consciously, Ian glanced down at his overflowing basket. “Do you think I have enough?”

Anne chuckled and her eyes softened in the way they always did when her children said something particularly endearing. “You worry too much, Ian. Go on, get changed. I’ll cut these for you and get you a vase.”

Ian managed to mumble out a thank you before he was shooed out of the kitchen. He tiptoed upstairs, mindful of that one step three-quarters up that creaked particularly loudly, and quickly changed into his best attire. It didn’t look that different from his normal one but it was relatively new and, more importantly, Gabriel had made it for him which meant it actually fit.

“Are you sure you don’t want to try the dark red fabric?” she’d asked him a few weeks ago. “Or perhaps the blue one? It would complement your eyes.”

“I really couldn’t,” Ian had told her with a regretful smile.

“Why not?” Gabriel had asked, looking down at the fabric in her hands with a frown.

Ian had explained the Sumptuary Laws to her, then; how he could get arrested for wearing the wrong clothes, even the wrong colours, and Gabriel’s face had fallen when she realised she’d never be able to make the garments she had in mind for him.  

“Green is fine, really,” Ian had tried to reassure her with a smile.

He should have known that Gabriel would manage to find a way to make his plain, rather simple clothes extraordinaire anyway. She’d sneaked subtle embroidery onto the sleeves and collar, barely even noticeable if one didn’t know what to look for. But Ian did, and every time he saw the fine lines of thread he couldn’t help but trace his fingers over them in reverence. No one had ever taken such care to make him something, and his heart beat just a little bit faster at the thought.

By the time he came back downstairs, Anne had not only cut the flowers but also gotten the cake out of the pantry where he had hidden it the night before. She offered him a smile before she busied herself with setting the table, leaving him to arrange the flowers on his own. Ian decided to put the long, thin branches of the forsythia and weigela in the back of the vase and placed the tulips and daffodils in front of them. The smaller, sweet-smelling hyacinths he arranged at the very front.

Taking a step back, Ian surveyed his work. It still wasn’t much but at least the flowers brought a little colour to the table, he thought. He put the cake next to the vase and then, as a final touch, scattered the primrose blossoms around them.

He felt a hand on his shoulder and managed not to flinch.

“Gabriel is going to love it,” Anne told him with a smile.

Ian wasn’t so sure about that but he didn’t have time to dwell on it because in that very moment the sound of the children very excitedly – and slightly off-key – singing Happy Birthday drifted down from the stairs, a sure sign that the rest of the house including Gabriel was now wide awake.

Anne shook her head in fond dismay and took off her apron. “How many times did I tell them we’ll sing once everyone is downstairs?”

Despite the nervousness thrumming through his veins, Ian managed a chuckle. “I remember at least five different occasions.”

Anne sighed and gave his shoulder a squeeze. “At least there’s one person in this house who listens when I say something.”

Not knowing how to reply, Ian ducked his head and busied himself with readjusting the primroses once more. Then that one step near the top of the stairs creaked and he knew the moment had come. He looked up just in time to see the children bursting in the kitchen. They were followed by Bill who wore a huge smile on his face when he announced with all the gravitas of the actor he thought himself to be, “May I present? The birthday girl!”

Ian very nearly forgot to join in on Anne and the children's applause and enthusiastic cheers because all coherent thought fled from his mind when Gabriel stepped into the kitchen. She looked radiant. There was no other word for it. Her hair, falling just below her shoulders now, was neatly pinned up with a sunflower hair clip that matched the beautiful yellow dress she was wearing. Ian had never seen it before and he had no doubt Gabriel had made it herself and most likely specifically for this day. But it wasn't her hair or her dress that made him catch his breath – it was her smile and the pure happiness that shone from her eyes when everyone shouted, “Happy birthday!”

Now, more than ever, Ian wished he’d been able to afford an actual present for her if only to to make her smile like this, just once.

Breakfast was an unhurried, merry affair that morning. The children asked Gabriel all sorts of questions about her past – “Do people in Spain even celebrate birthdays?” and “What was the best present you ever got?” – and though Ian had initially worried talking about the life she’d left behind would make Gabriel sad the opposite turned out to be true. Her smile never dimmed as she told story after story from her childhood. If anything, it only grew brighter.

After breakfast, Anne ushered Bill and the children back upstairs, loudly declaring they needed to get dressed if they wanted to go to the lake. When she winked at him Ian realised she was actually trying to give him and Gabriel a few minutes alone. It would be a kind gesture, Ian thought, if only he knew what to say to Gabriel. He’d never been good at small talk, and it didn’t help that he felt self-conscious every time his eyes landed upon the flowers and half-eaten cake on the table. So instead of saying anything he started cleaning up the plates and cups, hoping Anne and the others would come back down before the silence between him and Gabriel grew too uncomfortable.

“I wanted to thank you for the cake,” Gabriel said suddenly. Her voice was soft but Ian still startled and almost dropped the plates in his hands. “It was just like my grandmother used to make it.”

He put the plates down, took a steadying breath and looked up at her. “How did you know I was the one who made it?”

Gabriel’s lips twitched up into a smile. “You’re the only one I told about the recipe. And you always add cinnamon to your cakes.”

Ian felt warmth rise to his cheeks.

“I like the taste of it,” he murmured, feeling the need to defend himself.

“So do I,” Gabriel said, still with that smile on her face. Her eyes flicked towards the flowers. “You picked these too, didn’t you?”

With a sigh, Ian nodded. “I know they’re not much and don’t really compare to what Anne and Bill got you but I didn’t want to give you just a cake for your birthday.”

Gabriel looked at him for a moment, quiet in a way that made him nervous. Then she pushed herself to her feet and rounded the table, “Ian? Look at me, please.”

Ian lifted his gaze from his tightly clasped hands and met her warm, gentle eyes. He swallowed hard. “Yes?”

“It’s not just a cake,” Gabriel said softly. “It’s a little piece of my home and my past. And the flowers …” She hesitated. Then, to Ian’s great surprise and shock, she reached out to touch his hands. Her eyes were shining wetly in the light when she said, “No one’s ever given me flowers before.”

“That can’t be true,” Ian blurted out before he could stop himself.

Gabriel breathed out a laugh and gave his hands a squeeze. “Well, it isn’t anymore. Thanks to you. I love them, Ian. I really, really do. Thank you.”

She leaned forward and before Ian knew what was happening her lips were touching his cheek – gently, and with love. He let out a soft, “Oh,” and, when Gabriel pulled back, let his fingers trail over the tingling spot, feeling more than a little dazed.

Gabriel gave him another smile. “How about we pack up the cake and take it with us to the lake?”

Still stunned by what had just happened Ian nodded mutely.

A few minutes later, Anne found them standing shoulder to shoulder in the kitchen, quietly packing the basket together. Every now and then, their fingers touched and they would stop and smile at each other for a moment, their eyes full of tentative new beginnings and lifelong promises.

Smiling to herself, Anne retreated into the hallway to give them five more minutes.

[jimlingss]

Dynasty

➜ Words: 17.4k

➜ Genres: 50% Angst, 35% Smut, 15% Fluff, Historical!AU

➜ Summary: It’s no secret that the Emperor is infertile. But even so, a girl is selected every three months and brought to become his concubine in hopes of conceiving the next heir. This time, it’s you. And in order to prevent execution, Jeon Jungkook might just aid you in conception.

➜ Notes: Inspired by the movie the Treacherous (2015)

➜ Warnings: Brief depictions of reluctant sexual intercourse, dubious consent, emphasis on impregnation, sloppy seconds, creampies, pregnancy. Reader discretion is advised.

“Absolutely not!” 

You stand at once, chair knocked back to the ground in a clatter, unable to believe what you were hearing. Perhaps it was a mistake. Perhaps your ears hear wrongly. But by the way your older brother’s brows are drawn together, marring his usually good-natured features, you know you’re not mistaken.    He had worn the same expression as the day of your parents' massacre.   Your voice is shrill as you protest and cry, “I won’t! I can’t! T-This— this is ridiculous! How could you even….how could you even….”   You are Seokjin’s younger sister — his blood, flesh, bones. Family. And you were about to be traded in like you were no one to him. A chess piece. A part of his bigger plan that you wanted nothing to do with.   Jungkook looks at you with an impassive expression, one you cannot read, but you pay him no mind. Seokjin, however, looks to him and nods his head. They are silent in their communication, and then Jungkook takes his leave until there it is only your shadow and Seokjin’s that flickers against the wall with every movement of the dim candlelight.   He begins with a soft voice. A soothing one as if you were a child.    “There’s no choice, Y/N.”   “There is always choice,” you emphasize as tears start to stream down your cheeks. “Do you really want to send me off to that...that disgusting monster? Do you really want me to be used? If you care about me as a younger sister, if you care about me at all, you wouldn’t be doing this.”   His dark eyes meet yours. “The decision has been made, Y/N. You have been chosen. But this is the way we can make our parents happy. This is the only way for them to reach peace.”   You sob, collapsing onto the ground. Seokjin does little to comfort you. He knows there’s nothing he can do after this betrayal.   You hold your face in your hands, catching the tears that rack through your frame. It is silent except for the noises of your wails muffled through your sleeves.    After minutes of devastation and grief that stutters out of you, your hands drop to look at him. And your voice swoops into a murmur, one that is private, kept between the two of you. You beg for his honesty from sibling to sibling, without duties or titles. “Is...is t-there no other way?”   Your brother deflates, refusing to look at you. You notice the way his Adam’s apple bobs in his throat, how he swallows hard to answer. “There must always be sacrifices made in times of a revolution and this is ours.”   “No.” You shake your head. “This is mine.”

There is a knock at your door.   “Go away, Seokjin,” you shout at him without regard for sibling hierarchy. In your anger, he has long lost the respect that goes along with the status of being your older brother. “I said I wasn’t hungry!”   But in spite of your bitterness, the door opens anyhow.   It’s Jungkook who has appeared in place of Seokjin, doe eyes and dark hair tied into a high ponytail by a black ribbon that matches his robbed attire and the scabbard by his side.   “I saw the light in your room,” he says simply.   You lift your eyes away from the book you were copying, the last task that you wanted to finish, and your gaze remains cold on the man.    You detest Jungkook.    He is Seokjin’s friend, not yours and not a childhood one. Your brother had met him shortly after arriving in this town years ago. But you do not know him well. You resent him merely because he represents every manner that Seokjin has changed in the ways you hate most.   Before they met, Seokjin was still the brother you knew. Kind-hearted. Mischievous. Protective. There was no rebellion group, talk of treason, risk of harm. The Seokjin you knew would’ve never thrown you away like this.   “Are you ready for tomorrow’s journey,” he asks.   “There’s no reason not to be.” Jungkook is quiet and conniving. You know the only reason he has come out of his way to check on your well-being in the middle of the night is for his assumption that you are a flight risk. You suppose it might be natural to have those suspicions. Any girl in your position would run. But you quickly dissipate his worries if it means he’ll leave. “You don’t need to worry that I’m going to run. I wouldn’t do that to Jin.”   He makes no changes in his expression. Always blank. Always emotionless.   “The journey will be long. You should get some rest.”   “I can take care of myself.”   He remains silent for a moment. But you return to your work and when you look up again, he’s gone, having finally left you in your own misery.   //   When the first blush of dawn arrives, you get dressed in your best attire and gather the little belongings you have. They’re already waiting for you in front of the house, not allowing you a moment to yourself to relish in freedom any longer. There is a horse, a carriage, and four members of the group you don’t recognize along with Jungkook to journey with you.   Seokjin waits there too, but you can’t look him in the eye.   He knows you're upset, you can tell. Neither of you say much to each other, but you mutter a half-hearted farewell.   You can hear the way the corner of his mouth gently quirks by the sound of his voice. “I’ll see you soon enough, Y/N.”   You turn away, walking to your carriage where the horse is already neighing and becoming fussy. But then your steps slow. You hesitate getting in and Jungkook stares at you, waiting patiently, never once pushing you on.   At once, you turn around. “Jin!”   You call out to your brother and he turns around before stumbling. A giggle streams out of his chest after you’ve thrown yourself at him in an embrace as if you were still children. He hugs you back, arms around your body, frame overtaking yours, and he squeezes you tight.   You shut your eyes to savour the fleeting moment.   He leans down, murmuring, “I’m sorry.”   But you shake your head, unable to utter a word for fear of crying again.   “We should get a move on before it gets any later,” one of the members calls out and it’s your reminder of where you’re headed.   You pull apart from Seokjin. He smiles tenderly and brushes a stray strand of hair away from your face.   The carriage ride is shaky. Every bump and crack of the dirt road is felt by you ten folds, the wheels wobbling and the horse’s disregard makes it difficult for you to rest easy. But you don’t dare utter a complaint, not when you’re in the company of unfamiliar people. You do, however, pull back the curtain of the square window to look at the land and let in fresh air.   Eventually, there’s a break called. The tiny carriage comes to a halt and Jungkook is the one who brushes open the large curtain. He catches you off guard, peering in with his large eyes that seemingly sparkle naturally.   “We’re going to take a small rest.”   “Okay.”   He helps guide you out and you notice the other people are either on the ground resting their feet or by the stream, taking a drink of water.   “Are you alright?”   You nod. There’s a moment of serene quietness, the birds chirping around the trees, the rustling of leaves. Jungkook drinks from his leather pouch and then hands it to you to quench your thirst.   You sip it, soothing your throat and gather the courage to utter his name— “Jungkook.” He turns to you. “Do you know what’s going to happen to me?”   “You’ll be introduced as one of the minister’s nieces. He’s been aligned with us for years. You’ll be inspected and bathed, and then there will be a ceremony and then….”   “I’ll be bedded,” you complete his sentence for him.   Jungkook remains silent.   The Emperor is infertile. It’s a truth no one dares to utter, but it’s been fifteen years since he began his reign and he has yet to produce a child no matter how many consorts and concubines has entered the palace. The Empress has not bore a child either.   And nine years ago, there was an official decree. Every three months since, a girl is selected and brought in. If she doesn’t get pregnant within the time frame, she is executed for failing to fulfill her duty, for treason.   You are the next one.   The one who has to preoccupy the Emperor to the best of your abilities.   “You don’t need to worry,” Jungkook says, perhaps reading the expression on your face, but you slap his hand away when he reaches out.   “Of course I’ll worry,” you spit at him in animosity. “I’m going to die.”   The man’s brows draw tightly together, his lips lopsided. “It’ll be over before they can get to you.”   You say nothing more, returning to the small carriage before you can start to sob like a child and further be humiliated.   //   Night falls and camp is set up with little hardships. By the afternoon of tomorrow, you would have already arrived at the palace, perhaps straight to the Emperor’s bed. The thought makes you nauseated, wanting to crawl out of your own skin and hide from your body.   You know you’re being selfish. In the bigger picture, your desires don’t matter. If anything, you should be happy to give yourself up for the rebellion. For the common good. But you can’t.    “Are you not going to eat?” one of the female guards asks you with a smile and you lift your eyes away from the blazing fire whose heat has pressed against your cheeks.    You look around to the four members of the group that has been commissioned to protect you, their faces illuminated by the glow of the flames. You wonder what sacrifices they had made to be here, what led them here in the first place.   “I-I can’t.” You stand up and all of their heads, including Jungkook’s, turn to you. “I’m sorry. I….I need a moment to myself.”   You quicken your pace towards the forest, trying to escape their prying gazes, the burden that has been placed upon your shoulders. It’s hard to breathe. It’s as if the smog of the fire has bloomed inside of your lungs, constricting your chest, forming a thick lump in your throat.   The darkness of the forest envelopes you and it’s almost comforting.   That is until there’s a branch snapping behind you, and you quickly spin around.   “I knew you weren’t okay.”   “Go away, Jungkook.”   He remains silent, but you can see the outline of him coming closer towards you. He is not dissuaded no matter how much you have pushed him away from you, no matter how rude you’ve been to him from the start. You’re not sure if he pities you or he—   “Can I comfort you in place of Seokjin?” Jungkook requests in an earnest murmur, humble and cautious. “You wish he was here instead of me, don’t you?”   You’re taken aback, brought to speechlessness.   The two of you end up seated by the creek on a wooden log. The horizon is full of stars, allowing you to see enough to watch the water that rushes past in a calm hum, soothing your turmoil.   “I’m afraid.”   “Of what?”   “I don’t know what to do. How to capture the Emperor’s attention. How to be...bedded.”   “You need to be strong.”   You rise to your feet at once, biting back angrily, “I’ve never even been touched by a man! How am I supposed to be strong?!” It’s easy for him to say. It always is to the outsider.   He doesn’t know what this means to you. You’ll never be able to find a husband after this. The peaceful life you dreamt of will be gone.    You will forever be stained as the Emperor’s previous consort, his whore or you will end up dead.    You’re not sure which is worse.   “How am I supposed to know what to do?” Your voice is shrill, desperate and full of pain as if you are asking Jungkook for an actual answer to your predicament.   Jungkook stands and places his firm hand on your shoulder. “There,” he says after a moment when you’ve calmed down, “you’ve been touched by a man.”   Irritation surges through you again at how lightly he’s taken your strife. “You know that’s not what I meant—”   Then you’re suddenly spun to face him, a strong grip at your waist. Your words become muted through the soft press of Jungkook’s lips. Your whimper is muffled by his mouth. It’s chaste. Careful. He allows you room to breathe, to feel the velvet texture of his lips or to pull away if you so choose to.    But you don’t move. Your eyes become half-lidded, gazing into his doe eyes that seem to be full of stars. Your hands come to grip his broad shoulder, his placed on the dips of your body so gently as if he were afraid to break you. And your heart swells dangerously inside your chest.   After a moment of his mouth moving against yours in a sweet kiss, Jungkook pulls apart.   Almost immediately, you tug him back to you again, not wanting the moment to end. You kiss him fervently and he lowly hums inside his chest, tongue peeking at the seam of your mouth, urging you to grant him access. It’s unsightly, the two of you unmarried and holding one another so intimately in the dark during this time of night. If anyone knew, it would be shameful.    But it’s only you and Jungkook in this small space.   Your lips part, allowing his hot tongue to lick into your mouth. And he angles his head, happily deepening the kiss. It makes you gasp for air, becoming breathless, but he doesn’t relent. Jungkook presses forward eagerly like he can’t help himself anymore. His hands come to feel up your body, the softness of your flesh through your clothing, the curves of your hips, the swell of your breasts. Your arms loop around his neck, back arching into his firm body. You relish in the sound of soft smacking filling the forest, feeling your face heat as his scent surrounds you.   And when you moan his name again in a desperate whine — “J-Jungkook.” — his lips start to trail down your jaw to your neck. He holds you as you lean into him. You pant, chest rising and falling, and you have half a mind to realize that your clothes have loosened.   The man begins to suck a spot at the juncture of your neck by your exposed collarbone, claiming you possessively. Your entire body heats for him, your stomach fluttering. His name befalls your lips again in a whine and this time, it seems to snap him from his trance.   Jungkook pulls away from you.    Enough distance that if your arms stretched, it would barely be able to reach him.   He wipes his sweat off his forehead with his sleeve. “We...we should go back,” he says, winded.   You merely nod, not uttering a single word. The two of you don’t need to speak to know that this can’t be continued further. It wouldn’t be good for either of you.   But you’re still stunned as you follow him back to where the others are. Your eyes trace Jungkook’s backside and you nibble into your swollen lips. The taste of cinnamon lingers.   //   The capital is close — you can tell by the way travelers aren’t as sparse and the rich attire that adorns their body. Their expressions are bright and friendly, innocent from the fear of theft or strangers stealing their food. There are no hollowed eyes and cheeks peering at you blankly, no hands clasped together to silently beg for some grains to satisfy the shriveling stomachs.   By afternoon, the carriage is brought to a halt again.   “I’ll be going ahead first,” Jungkook announces as he sits on top of his horse. “It’ll seem less suspicious.”   The other seem to take little issue, but before Jungkook rides off into the distance, his gaze lingers on you. The two of you stare at one another for a moment, one where you’re not sure if you should bid farewell to him or not, one where you wonder when the next time is going to be.   But before you can utter a single syllable, he turns and whips the reins. The horse gallops off, hooves marked in the dirt. You stare at his backside diminishing before you’re called back into the carriage to carry on.   You arrive no later.   The palace is grander than anything you’ve ever witnessed, stretching across the horizon. The red roof and golden trim are vivid against the town even from the distance. Once the guards at the stone wall are briefly spoken to, the magnificent gates creak open and you’re brought into a different world, one protected from outside life. There are hundreds of servants with downcast heads and folded hands scattering across the vast courtyard, winding pavilion paths bordering each structure. Even from peering out the tiny window, your neck aches with how much you have to crane your neck to see it all.    But you quickly snap out of your awe.   This isn't paradise. It’s your prison.   The gates close behind you, trapping you in its walls and after a minute, the carriage halts the final time.   “Consort Y/N, from the Park family.” Your title is declared and the curtain is roughly pulled back. You brace yourself as you’re guided out and you come face to face with two men, both middle-aged, and two women, the younger one keeping her head down and her hands folded.   Instantly, you lower your eyes with a polite smile and dip down. “It is a pleasure to be here. I am grateful to serve my duty.”    You maintain a soft-spoken voice, barely above a timid whisper. It feels foreign to act this way, but not completely unfamiliar. Even if your title has been stripped away and your family name has been wiped, you still are of aristocratic blood.   “Oh my! I haven’t seen you in so long!” One of the middle-aged men approaches you with half-moon eyes and a plump face. You’ve been spoken to enough that you know the minister’s name is Park Jimin and he’s supposed to be your uncle. “You’ve grown so much!”   “You look as healthy as I remember, uncle.” You offer a brighter smile and he chuckles heartily.   “Do I? I’m glad then. I think I’ve packed on a few pounds since your mother last saw me, but don’t tell her that or she may send me some more medication.”   In the midst of the lighthearted conversation, you realize that you’re being scrutinized by the other man. His hair is as dark as his eyes, gruff around his mouth and chin but his features are sharp. He stands with his chin high, his spine straightened, his arms behind his back. His robes are a deep violet, silks luxurious and commanding attention. You’ve seen him before.   Jung Hoseok. The man who has stood in your family’s courtyard with the same posture as each member was brought out and executed. You had witnessed it from the gaps of the weaved basket that you were hidden in until Seokjin covered your eyes with his small hands. It was fifteen years ago, when you were merely five. But you still remember the iron stench of blood well.    The memory and his boring gaze makes you break into a sweat. It’s as if he’s tearing you apart limb by limb, trying to read your intentions and consider if you’re a threat. Fear drains blood from your face. And perhaps he notices because a moment later, he hums and smirks.   “Let’s not waste all day here.” Hoseok turns away. “Minister Park, there are many matters to attend to. Your greetings can continue later.”   “O-Of course.”   Hoseok glances at the older woman standing beside him and she nods, addressing you, “Come with me.”   “From now on, you are to serve the Emperor. I am going to assume that the Park family has taught you proper etiquette.” The head servant lady continues walking and you struggle to keep up with her and the servant. You don’t glance at the members who took you here as they retreat appropriately. From now on, you’re on your own. “If you step out of line, there is little anyone will be able to do for you. The Empress is difficult to please, but as long as you do what you’re told and say nothing more, then your time will be more pleasant.”   You’re brought into a room with two more female servants and the door is quickly slid shut.    “Strip.”   “P-Pardon me?”   The lady huffs in annoyance and steps forward. Her hands reach out and she begins to tug the ribbons of your clothes. You’re startled, immediately stumbling back out of her grasp. “I-I can do it.”   “You should get used to it,” she says as you shed your outer and inner coat. “There’s no point in being embarrassed anymore.”   Still, your fingers are slow to remove your clothing. After a moment, you’ve rid of your clothes, only keeping your modesty by the last thin white layer that hides your breasts and naked torso from plain view.   It seems to be enough and the woman begins to inspect your skin. She rounds you, examining you from head to toe. Then she holds your arm, lifting them at every angle, making sure there are no wounds or rashes that could infect the Emperor. Her eyes, however, eventually fall to your neck. Right at the spot where you remember Jungkook kissed you hard enough to bruise and your face heats at the memory.    “I was accidentally bitten by a bug yesterday on my way here,” you murmur to explain the subtle lilac stain. “I apologize for being so careless.”   “Nothing that won’t fade then,” she states and you breathe a silent sigh of relief. But then the woman suddenly grabs a hold of your cheeks in one hand. She tilts your head to look up into her eyes and she studies your face carefully. She hums after a moment and lets you go.   You blink at her. “Is there something wrong?”   “You’re one of the prettier ones, that’s all.” The woman speaks softly as if it’s a shame — a shame that you’ve been brought here as the Emperor’s consort and that you couldn’t be wedded properly. You’re unable to dwell on her pity when the other girls take you by the arms and guide you to follow the woman when she walks off. The door slides open into an adjacent bedroom. “You’re going to be washed, cleaned, thoroughly. There’s not much time. You must be prepared for tonight.”   Your feet stop, blood running cold. “Tonight?”   The lady turns around, her gaze more sympathetic than before. “There’s no time to be wasted.”   You’re taken roughly, bathed in milky water with flowers plucked from the royal garden and rigorously scrubbed by two other servant girls until your own skin feels raw. Your nails are trimmed, hair combed before being looped and braided into a half-updo, holding golden hairpins that you would’ve never dreamed of ever having. The robes that are slid on you are soft silks, a light blush pink that matches the peony flowers your mother once had in her own garden. And your lips are pressed with red pigment, eyes lined, cheeks dusted with a rosy shade.   When they’re finished, you don’t recognize the person you see in the mirror.   “The Emperor isn’t difficult to please, but one must know not to step out of line.”   “I understand.”   “All hail Empress Soojin!” There’s a clamour outside and the doors abruptly open. Instantly, the servants, including the head servant woman, sweep back and fold their hands together, bowing their heads. You also look to the ground, dipping down in the presence of the Empress.   “You must be the new girl. Lift your head,” she says and you come to meet cat-eyes narrowed in on you. The Empress is dressed in crimson robes with golden swirls, her dark hair in an updo with pins and luxurious decorations. But she is not worthy of her title from her clothing alone. Her aura is intimidating, her expression unyielding to anyone in the room. She carries herself like she knows she was born of importance, that the mandate of Heaven resides on her shoulders.   Empress Soojin looks at you with a scrutinizing eye that makes you fearful. But then she smiles.   “What’s your name?”   “Park Y/N, Your Majesty.”   “What do your parents do?”   “They are nobles. They have some land in the East. We grow wheat for Your Majesty.” The lies are easy, all part of a narrative that isn’t yours.   Her smiles eases even more. “Do a good job.”   “Yes.”   Empress Soojin is kind — more than what you expected someone in her position to be. You would not know how to feel if you were meeting yet another girl your husband was trying to conceive with. But you’re not foolish enough to be put off guard. You know far better than to fall for her facade.   At the end of the day, she is your enemy. She might poison you or kill you if she so chooses. And you know that your child will also be her child. If you do fall pregnant by some miracle, the baby would be taken away from you and given to her. To grow with her. To call her mother.   But you don’t dwell on these thoughts or let it be known.    Empress Soojin leaves once she’s satisfied with your appearance and a veil is put over you as the sun starts to dip over the horizon. The ceremony is about to begin, the jovial music already playing in the distance and muffled through the walls.    “It’s time.”   You’re led out of the room, lugging your heavy robes with you. But as you look up, your breath hitches in your throat.    Doe eyes stare into yours past the translucent veil.    Jungkook is dressed in navy robes with the royal emblem on it, his hair brought into a ponytail with a sheathed sword by his side. Something lodges into your throat. But you try not to let your eyes linger too long on him. After all, here he isn’t your brother’s friend or the companion on your journey. Jungkook is the Emperor’s guard. You are merely the Emperor’s new consort.   “I’m here to escort you by the Emperor’s orders.”   You don’t speak a word as you walk alongside him. Neither does he.   But when no one’s watching, you steal a glance at Jungkook from the corner of your eye and find that he’s peeking at you too.   The moment is too short.   The throne room is grandiose, golden pillars spiraling upwards to hold the high ceilings. The room is full of ministers sitting by and eating, young girls dancing to the deafening beat of the drums and the melody of the flutes. But even from the distance, you can see the Emperor seated at the throne beside the Empress and Jung Hoseok who stands to his right.    Your hand tightens into a fist until your nails have sunk into your palm.   “All hail Consort Y/N!”   You come to the bottom of the steps where Jungkook leaves you, resuming to the side of the stairs, and you lower yourself on your knees. “It is my honour to serve you, Your Majesty.”   Your expression remains impassive, demure perhaps. But inside you, the rage ignites.   Emperor Minseok who stood by and did nothing as the Kim Family, your family, was massacred. Left behind two children on accident to fend for themselves. Left the nation to soil as he was kept inside ravishing young girls and indulging in pleasures.    He isn’t an Emperor. He does not have the Mandate of Heaven.    He is a puppet.   Emperor Minseok’s eyes light. He scrambles upwards and pushes Empress Soojin aside, making her wince. But he still moves past her to sprint down the stairs and comes to you like a child getting a new toy.   Instantaneously, your veil is thrown off.   The child-like man gasps in excitement. “You’re pretty!”   Hoseok, the person you know well as the mastermind orchestrating the entire court and country, the king’s personal advisor, approaches with a smile. “I am glad you are satisfied with the new girl, Your Majesty. But you must show restraint.”   The Emperor enthusiastically nods, but still takes your hand. He pulls you up the stairs and leads you to sit on the other side of him, something the Empress is visibly mortified at in spite of staying quiet.    “Continue the celebration,” he announces and the music commences once more with the pleasant laughter of the ministers. Minister Park has a twinkle in his smile and slightly raises his cup towards you before taking a sip. Jungkook, on the other hand, faces forward with a blank expression as if he were a statue. “What’s your name?”   Your eyes tear away from the doe-eyed man. “My name is Y/N. I am Park Minister’s niece, sire.”   There’s no reason to hide your first given name. It’s not like they would know who you and Seokjin are.   The ceremony and dancing continues, held as an excuse to welcome you and give fortune to tonight’s conception. In reality, it’s for those in the court to indulge themselves. The Emperor fawns over you the entire time, asking many questions and trying to get you to eat to which you force yourself to swallow down the food. You’re nauseated, especially with the times he touches you, when he wraps his arm around your shoulder and pulls you into his chest, but you retain a shy disposition to not arouse suspicion of your true feelings.   It ends much too soon.   “His Majesty will be here shortly,” the servant informs you as you’re brought into the bedroom and before you can get in another word, the doors shut.   They’re listening — you know they are. Maybe other girls have run before you, tried to flee while they still had the chance. But no matter how strong the urge is, your feet stay rooted into the ground.    The bed is revolting to look at. The golden sheets that seem to reek of a luxury that you have never known and now imprison you. You feel sick, like you might throw up, but you hold it in.   Your eyes shut tight, trying to regain control of your breath, trying to dispel away your worries.   It will be quick. It will be over. It won’t change anything about who you are. You will survive.   This is something you must do.   The doors open with Emperor Minseok drunkenly stumbling inside after grabbing a hold of the door frame. He haphazardly slides it shuts and giggles once his gaze has set upon you. You swallow hard, moving back on instinct. He grins and bumbles forward.   “You’re so pretty, huh?” He strips off his overcoat and you fall to the bed, silently seated and gripping the edge. “C’mon, you can say something. Won’t scare you away, kitty cat.”   Emperor Minseok pushes you back and climbs over you with the carelessness of an eager but intoxicated man. He stinks of alcohol and you hold your breath, looking away. He snickers and then frantically pushes the many layers of your dress up as if he doesn’t want to waste any more time.   Your teeth sink into your bottom lip, but you comply, like a dead fish against the sheets. Your eyes shut tight and you think about what it means to make sacrifices...   The Emperor tugs his drawers down in one swoop and aligns his cock against your folds. His hips at once jut forward without warning and your teeth grit, holding in your pained whimper as he enters into you. It burns, aching to the point where your eyes are stinging. He groans above you, withdraws, thrusts into you once and then he’s coming.   As quick as five seconds.    The Emperor groans, eyes shut tight, and then he collapses on top of you.   It takes a moment, for you to gasp for air, to come back to your senses and then you’re shoving the sweaty man off of your body, freeing yourself of his heavy weight. Emperor Minseok snores, already worn himself out, and you curse at him silently while you pull the layers of your dress down.   It’s tempting.   You want to kill him — and it would be easy to do so. But it would mean your death, Seokjin’s everlasting grief over it and the likelihood that someone else will become Jung Hoseok’s puppet.   So you gather your wits and slide off the bed until you’re seated on the floor.   //   In the middle of the night, there’s a shadow at the doorway and a soft murmur of your name.   You grab a loose silk cover to wrap your body and open the door. The candle has long been blown out but you haven’t slept, stayed on the ground while the Emperor snorts in his slumber. You hadn’t expected to see anyone, not until morning at least, but it’s surprising to see Jungkook.   Although you’re not sure if that surprise is pleasant or not.   “What are you doing here?” you ask in a hushed tone, shutting the door behind you and wrapping your arms around your torso, away from the cold wind that brushes through.   If anyone saw him here, it could ruin everything.    You don’t know why someone like Jungkook would take that risk.   “I know. I just…” The more you allow your eyes to adjust to the darkness, the better you are at being able to discern the furrow of his brows and the way it mars his expression. “How...how was it?”   “How was it?” you spit at him. “What do you think?”   There’s a held silence. Neither of you speak.    But the moment anger surges through you, the upheaval follows.    Against your will, sobs begin to break through your frame. As intense as the day Seokjin delivered the news that you would have to do this. And the memories burst through, catching up to you.   It would have been fine if you were alone.   If you could pretend that it wasn’t bad, that it meant nothing. But the earnestly spoken question from Jungkook has brought forth the truth that you had so desperately tried to push away.   You cry, tears shedding down your face as you hold your face in your hands. You are oblivious to the way Jungkook’s fingers twitch, how his hands reach out, how he hesitates. But then he embraces you, pressing your face against his shoulder, his arms around your waist.   You grab onto him, latching on as if he is the only thing that grounds you to this insanity. You muffle your sobs, trying to keep them quiet before you’re found. You wish this was Seokjin.   But it’s Jungkook.   “I had a younger sister,” he tells you suddenly, calming your hiccups as he cradles you against him. “Her name was Jieun. She was brought in, just like you. Five years ago. She was taken in by force. All because she caught the eye of the Emperor.”   You pull away from him and he wipes a tear off your cheek, holding your face within his hands.   You didn’t know. Frankly, you don’t know anything about Jungkook, but to hear him tell you, for him to openly share is something you don’t take lightly. “W-What happened to her?”   “She was always weak and they mistook her sickness for pregnancy. When they found out she wasn’t, they hung her for supposedly losing the baby.” His whispers are quiet, but they carry a grief that you can barely understand. Jungkook’s eyes connect within yours.    Finally, you begin to understand. Why he started this, why he’s come here.    “I don’t want something like that to happen again. I’ll do everything in my power to keep it from happening to you.”   You nod.   He didn’t need to come see you tonight. But you’re thankful he did.   //   “All hail Empress Soojin!”   The doors open with a parade of servants following the female who holds up her dress, entering through the doorway. You meet her halfway, head dipped and hands folded with a demure smile. Her eyes are narrowed in on you and you pay no mind when her servants begin to inspect the place, examining the bed sheets and any other evidence of last night’s affair.   “Good morning, Your Majesty.”   “How are you?” Her gaze sweeps across your body, lingering on your stomach.   “It was fine.”   The Empress lifts her hand and two more servants enter with a tray of food. They start to arrange the breakfast on the table. “You might be carrying a child, so it will be important to nourish yourself.”   You look at the dishes with a sense of queasiness. The last thing you want is food — you don’t think you could contain it in your stomach if you tried. And there’s a fear in your mind that she’s going to take this opportunity to poison you. You wouldn’t be surprised if she did.   So you dip your head. “If you may pardon me, Your Majesty, I am not feeling hungry.”   “Don’t be foolish.”   “I—”   Your words are choked the moment your head is whipped to the side. Your cheek burns. The Empress’ hand print is embedded into your skin, her arm still raised in the air. Your eyes sting.   Even in your worst moments, you’ve never been slapped. Not by Seokjin. Not even by your parents.   “Her Majesty was kind enough to come here and offer you food but you dare deny her and talk back?” The servant beside her shakes her head in disapproval. “The Park Family has no manners.”   Immediately, you fall to your knees. Your head meets the carpet, right by her feet but she doesn’t see the way your teeth grit. “I apologize for my disrespect.”   Empress Soojin huffs in frustration and there’s a clamour as feet stomp out, making the room silent once more. It’s then that you lift yourself back onto your feet and pour the tonic she gave you into the plant.    You spend the rest of your day in your room after taking a bath, staying out of anyone’s way as you were told to do. But after nightfall, there’s news of Emperor Minseok planning to come see you. So you suppose you must’ve done something right for him to willingly reach out to you.   His body weight is heavy against you, your back molded against the bed.    “You’re very pretty,” he says for the millionth time.   You try to muster a smile, but keep your head tilted to stare at the wall, acting like you are much too shy. “Thank you.”   The Emperor is easily worked up, the very antithesis of control. He enters you and you bare through it, getting used to the action. But Emperor Minseok finishes in a mere three pumps, gripping at your thighs with a groan. He rolls over to sleep and you shove down your skirt.   If you could count the little fortune you have, you’re relieved he’s been too impatient to undress you properly. He’s neither kissed you nor laid a hand to the softest parts of your body.   Not like Jungkook.   //   The palace is unfamiliar. It’s a vast space that stretches across the plane and numerous structures gives room for ministers and servants you will never know the name of. The only person you truly know in these walls is Jungkook. He’s the only person to confide in, but there is little opportunity to see him, even if you long to.   But he comes to you, enough times to make you reassured that he is always there, following in your shadow. Though it’s never enough to fulfill your desires or relieve your yearning.   “What is this?”   You open the envelope he’s passed to you, pulling out the folded parchment. The two of you are hidden in an empty warehouse where supplies and weapons are kept in wooden crates. Grime lays in thick layers, cobwebs collected at the corners, but some specks of dust float in the air, seen by the sunbeams that pierce through the gaps of the planks covering the windows.   Your eyes widen at the familiar writing of the letter and your eyes skim the page to see Seokjin’s signature at the bottom.   The corner of Jungkook’s mouth quirks to see your wide grin.   “H-How did you get it here?”   “We have servants working for us and a communication line coming in and out of the palace. It’s the way we exchange news.”   You nod, reading the letter and the kind words that are so much like Seokjin, encapsulating his personality with every ‘dear sister’. But the sentences are short and the content makes the blood drain from your face. There’s been delays of Seokjin getting into the palace.   They need more time. More than three months.   “There won’t be enough time.” Your hands drop, the letter put at your side. Your eyes lock with Jungkook’s, but he doesn’t seem surprised, as if he already knew. “I’m going to die.”   He doesn’t flinch, expression solemn, unyielding to this devastating news. “I will help you.”    “How?!”   “We’ll give them what they want. You won’t be executed if you’re carrying a child.”   “The Emperor is infertile—!”    But Jungkook isn’t.    And once the implications of his words sinks into you, you turn away to hide from his gaze, your voice shrill. “How could you….how could you even think of that? You’re as cruel as Jin. No one...no one has any regard for me whatsoever. It’s all about the country, the revolution.”   In the midst of your hysteria, he calls you. “Y/N.”   “You want to use me. You want to use my body,” you sob.   “I don’t want you to die,” Jungkook emphasizes and grabs you, spinning you around to look at him again. His hand wraps around your wrist, doe eyes staring into yours. Your breath hitches and it goes silent. “If there’s anything I can do within my control to help you, I will. I don’t want to feel powerless.” Jungkook’s grasp on you tightens, as if he is afraid to let go. “Not anymore.”   You recognize the pain in his eyes. It’s tangible. Earnest.   On instinct, you lean in, pressing your lips against his to console his worries. It’s a soft kiss, one where Jungkook’s nose brushes against yours and his hands lift to cradle your face. You succumb to the itch of having him close to you, giving into your carnal desires and the lust that has lingered in you after the kisses you two shared in the darkness of the forest that one night.   And Jungkook doesn’t hesitate either.    He touches you, fingers gently tugging the ribbons of your attire to slip off the inner coat and many layers they’ve cloaked you in. It’s freeing to be out of the silks. You can finally breathe again, but not for long when Jungkook kisses you until you’re gasping for air and your breath is stained with his.   You grasp at his own clothes, ridding them and his sword clanks to the ground.   His mouth moves from your jaw to the juncture of your neck, traveling down your collarbone and the valley of your breasts. He sucks at your flesh, greedy to mark every inch of it. Even if he doesn’t say it aloud, you can tell through his touches. He doesn’t want to use your body. He wants you.   “Jungkook.” The whine only spurs him on and you hold his head against you, fingers tangling to his hair.   It’s silent, except for the sounds of him kissing against your skin. Heat rises on your face, warming your cheeks. You don’t know how Jungkook can stay so careful and controlled. He never once rushes, giving plenty of opportunities for you to push him away if you so choose to.   But you don’t and he lays you on the soft hay collected in the corner of the warehouse.   You shy away from his attention, your naked body laid in front of him. But then he strips from the rest of his clothes, not letting you be the only one bare. Immediately, Jungkook reaches down to kiss you again, mouth pressed against yours like he has become dependent on your taste.   Jungkook readjusts you, getting you to sit on his lap facing him.   “Is this okay?”   You nod, gripping at his shoulders for leverage. His doe eyes lock into yours.   “Tell me if it hurts.”   “Okay.” Tears fog your vision. You’ve never been treated so gently before, not from a man or woman. While the circumstances are undesirable, bliss still blooms in your chest.    Jungkook licks his thumb and lowers his hand to continue to warm your center. You keen against him with a moan as he plays with your bud, rubbing your clit in circles and watching your expression carefully. Your slick begins to leak to his thighs, but he doesn’t seem to mind.   “J-Jungkook…”   Your eyes are teary, nose reddened from the cold. Jungkook presses his forehead to yours, your breaths laboured together. His cock lays thick in his hand, slit weeping with precum and the two of you look down, watching him align it to your folds.   His hips push up at the same time as you guide yourself down.    Jungkook groans. The pair of you are finally connected.    Strangely enough, it doesn’t hurt. Far from it and the realization makes your cheeks hot to the touch. You’re snug around him, able to feel his head nudging against your cervix.   “A-Are you okay?” he asks and you nod several times fervently.    Instead of answering in words, you close the distance with another searing kiss.    Soft smacking fills the room with his tongue licking into your mouth. Jungkook’s arms wrap around your waist, guiding you up and down your length while he meets you halfway. Your moans are muffled, his chest pressed against yours and you begin to sweat at your hairline.   You break apart.   “Jung—ko...ok.”   “Hmm?” He brushes a strand of hair away from your face.   “Harder,” you whisper so quietly that you can't hear yourself. He blinks at you, not understanding and you throw away your pride, knowing that there’s no reason to be ashamed when you’re with him. “H-Harder, please. I’m not fragile.”   The corner of his mouth quirks into a small smile, “Okay.”   Soon, indecent noises of pounding fills the room. You hug one another, keeping each other grounded with your bodies. Your arms are wrapped around his shoulders, your whines stifled against his warm skin. Jungkook tries to catch his breath, a cold cloud emitting from his parted lips.   It feels good. To have your warm and wet heat filled by Jungkook. To be stretched by him and feel him all the way to your throat. To have him so close to you. The pleasure is overwhelming.   Your slick coats his length, dripping down and making it messy where his thighs hits against your behind. It feels like you’re scratching an itch as you ride him, your cunt being bruised against his force. Pleasure thrums through you, thoughts turned to slush, surrounded in his scent. Your eyes are hazy and you feel feverish. All that befalls from your lips are broken and pitched whines of Jungkook’s name.   It gets sloppy and his strokes start to become short and frenzied in a staccato rhythm.   “J-Jungkook!”   He licks his thumb and rubs against your clit, making you sob out. Then, you come undone. You seize, squeezing around him. Light pierces through your eyelids and your toes curl. Pleasure overwhelms you until you’re spineless. At the same time, Jungkook pants heavily and his hips thrust upwards. A moment later, he’s cumming deep into your sopping cunt. His head is lodged right against the opening of your womb. Thick ropes painting your velvet walls. Hopefully to conceive.   “—Soojin visited the consort the morning after the ceremony.”   “Is that so?”   There are voices from outside and your eyes widen, lips stealing a gasp.   Immediately, Jungkook’s palm raises and cups your mouth. His brows furrow, eyes staying locked into yours and the both of you sit still, staying silent. You turn your heads and through the gaps of the wooden planks covering the window, you can see Hoseok and a minister brushing past.   “She’s never shown favour to any of the consorts.” They stop, right where you and Jungkook are naked, merely separated by a brick wall.   “Perhaps she sees something different from this girl than the others,” Hoseok hums. “Keep an eye on Empress Soojin and tell me if she does anything else out of the ordinary.”   Jungkook’s cum leaks from your center, dripping down his length.   “Yes.”   They finally pass and Jungkook’s hand falls from your mouth, finally taking a sigh of relief. Jungkook removes himself from you but only after he pushes his milky fluid back into you with his brows furrowed in concentration. He tucks his cum past your used fold into your heat.   Once satisfied, he gets up and puts back on his clothes.   You’re still reeling, not sure what to say or if you can even look him in the eye anymore. Part of you feels used. You’ve been passed from one man to the next, always with a purpose, a greater reason that your own desires. But then—   “Are you alright?”   Jungkook is tender, helping you up and brushing a strand of hair away from your face. He helps you get dressed again while you feel his cum drip down your thigh. It’s a reminder of the sins you have just committed together, something worthy of treason.   But it’s something you find yourself not minding doing again.   “I’m fine,” you murmur after you’re dressed again.   Jungkook stares at you silently, his eyes unable to be torn away from you. Then he leans forward as if driven on by sheer instinct. Jungkook’s mouth presses against yours in a sweet kiss. It catches you off guard. And then he parts with downcast eyes. “I’m sorry for doing something unnecessary.”   “It’s okay.” You meet his gaze. “I don’t...mind.”   He nods and you turn before he can see your smile. Your hand press gently against your stomach as hope blossoms through you.

Time passes and maybe the Empress notices that you’ve been smiling more because she asks— “Are you feeling any differences?” — with a careful eye and something akin to anticipation.   “Not yet,” you answer with your head dipped. “But I’m sure it may happen soon.”   The Emperor has been seeing you two times a week. But you’ve been seeing Jungkook every other day.   If the two of you are lucky, one of these days a baby will stick to your womb and neither of you will have to be worried about how doom is impending. You have a feeling though; it’s going to work.   “Empress Soojin has personally ordered a tonic for you,” the head servant says as she enters with a tray and porcelain bowl filled with an amber liquid. “It will increase your fertility.”   Your eyes flicker from her face to the bowl and the servant softens. “Don’t worry. She won’t harm you if there’s a chance you could be carrying her child.”   You trust the woman and you ease your instincts, taking the tonic. And no later are you and Jungkook’s limbs tangled in the old warehouse again, away from prying eyes and ears.   But it’s taking too long.   There isn’t any news of Seokjin’s arrival, no movement from the rebellion group whatsoever and you can tell that Emperor Minseok is losing interest in you.   As you’re passing by the pavilion, you take a brief pause.   The servant behind you also stops, aware that you are watching the way Empress Minseok is drinking and laughing with other women, being served wine as he lies on giggling girls trying to catch his attention. You aren’t jealous, far from it. But you know nothing good will come out of his boredom with you, that it will only speed up your execution date if you are still without child. His favour would prove not only advantageous to you, but to Seokjin and Jungkook.   You’re supposed to preoccupy him after all, keep him distracted.   “All hail Consort Y/N.”   The doors to the Emperor’s chambers open right as the evening sun begins to dip below the horizon. Emperor Minseok is having drinks and some dishes while there are two concubines looped around his arms.   “My beautiful consort!” He calls out to you with a grin, surprise evident on his features.   You muster a smile and dip down. “May I speak to you privately, Your Majesty?”   “Sure, sure.” He bats at the concubines, motioning at them to leave. They bow their heads and scatter out. Once alone, you lift your eyes to lock it into his. “Is there something wrong?”   “I just…” Your smile becomes shy. “...wanted to see you.”   Emperor Minseok bursts out laughing, hearty in his chest and grating to your ears. “You were lonely? Come sit.” He pats at tiny chicken thighs and you hold your breath, complying. You nearly slip off his leg, but his sticky hands are placed on your waist.   His nose digs into your neck and you accidentally flinch.    He notices, brows raising and you swiftly cover up your mistake with a smile. “It’s still...hard for me to have so much attention from you.” You fiddle with your fingers. “I’m not used to it.”   The man grins. “But you still came here.”   “Because I was lonely,” you confirm in a quiet whisper. “The palace is so grand, I don’t really know what to do…”   “It’s magnificent, isn’t it?” he mutters out of the corner of his mouth, clearly not caring about the topic of conversation anymore with the way he stares at you. It’s almost as if he’s entranced by your features and his hand reaches down to slink up your leg.   You abruptly stand and grab his collar, making him rise to his feet too. “The palace is beautiful, especially the gardens. But it’s lonely to go flower viewing by yourself.”   Emperor Minseok cups your cheek. “Then I’ll come with you next time.”   You turn away, out of his grasp. “I could never ask that of Your Majesty. I can’t be selfish and you are always so busy. Actually...I…”   “What is it?”   You duck your head, playing a bashful act. “I try to look at your painting to satisfy my loneliness.”    Emperor Minseok chortles again and you spin around with a tiny pout. You step forward until he’s fallen onto his bed, amused at your boldness. “But it’s hard,” you say as you begin to climb on top of him. “There’s not many paintings of you.”   You position yourself so he’s underneath you. You straddle his hips, a coy smile at your features. “For a grand palace like this, one would think there would be more.”   “You’re right.” The Emperor is breathless, already excited after barely ten seconds. His greedy hands come up to grab your bottom, but you push him off so he doesn’t touch you.   “My father once commissioned a painter,” you murmur as you slowly tug his trousers down. “He was quite immature and eccentric, but his skills are unrivaled with.”   “W-What is his name?” His eyes watch you, pathetically salivating. You wonder if he’s going to cum in his pants already.   “I...think his name was Kang Seokjin,” you lie, quirking your head to the side. You grab his tiny, red cock that looks like it’s about to burst and he groans. “Have you never heard of him? He’s quite infamous in the East.”   “I-I’ve never.”   You hum, tugging your many skirts up and his eyes pin to your exposed skin. “Well, he’s a free-spirit and rarely does paintings, even for people who pay for it. Gold doesn’t buy him. My father had to beg him for weeks and even then he was reluctant.”   He scoffs. “He would never deny the Emperor.”   “Of course.” You align him up to your pink folds. Yet, you linger, putting the crumbling man under you in great suspense. “But…”   Emperor Minseok blinks at you, becoming impatient. “But?”   “You never know till you try, right?”    You drop down like the way Jungkook taught you to. You know better now how to satisfy a man, how to satisfy yourself, what kind of rhythm works best. But it only takes two swivels of your hips and one groan from him until he’s done and finishes. Emperor Minseok has tired himself out and succumbs to the seduction of sleep almost immediately with a smile on his face.    You roll off of him as he starts to snore.   You feel disgusted — skin grimy and crawling, the pit in your stomach growing with queasiness, revolted at what you had to do. But you know bathing and scrubbing your skin until it’s raw won’t be enough to satisfy you. It won’t be enough to cleanse yourself from him. So you leave the Emperor’s chambers as quickly as you came, abandoning the greasy man on the bed and shutting the doors behind you.   In the dark, you hurry as fast as your feet can take you.    You’re out of breath by the time you’ve twisted through the structures and pavilions. But relief comes in the form of a doe-eyed, dark-haired individual. The person you’ve been wanting to run to.   The person you’ve been yearning for.   “What are you doing here?” he scolds sharply, standing as you slide the doors behind you. The candlelight flickers, providing a dim glow on the profile of his face. “What if someone saw you?”   “They didn’t and they won’t.”    The bedroom Jungkook’s stationed in is tiny, a round table and two stools with a large opening for where his bed fits into the wall as if it were built in. But none of it matters to you. You don’t care that he has nothing but a sword and some folded clothes. All you care about is that he’s here.   “And what if you were caught?”   “Every time we do this, we risk getting caught.” You quiet his worries by closing the distance. You cradle his cheeks in your palm and kiss him frantically, sealing your mouth against his.   Jungkook hums to the sweet taste of your lips, licking into your hot mouth, but then he pulls away. “Wait.” His hands secure around your shoulders and he searches your expression after noticing the way your eyes have become teary. “Is there something wrong?”   You shake your head. “I just want you. Is...is that so bad?”   The candle is blown out, flooding the room in a comfortable, intimate darkness. But close up, you can still see Jungkook with the faded moonlight coming through the paper walls.    His back falls against the bed, but Jungkook doesn’t give you a long opportunity to climb and sit above him. He whirls you around until it’s your body that molds against the soft surface of his bed, preferring to take care of you than vice versa. And when he undresses you and sees the sopping mess between your legs, he understands what this is all about.    Why you’re so desperate for his touch.   “Let’s get rid of this,” he murmurs tenderly, not at once hesitating and you nod.    Jungkook kisses you again, deep and earnestly until you’re panting against him and he’s swallowing your exhales. Then his mouth travels downwards, careful this time not to leave a bruising mark against your skin where others could see in spite of longing to mark you. The man’s tongue ends up wrapping around your soft breast, allowing the bud to pebble underneath the warm muscle. You keen into him with a sob, arms wrapped around his neck and he continues mercilessly.   His lips travel down to your stomach and once your skin has gotten warm to the touch, your body writhing against the sheets stained with his scent, he positions you upwards. On his lap. Facing him.   Jungkook brushes away the strands of your hair, tucking it behind your ear and he gently holds your chin, turning your head so your eyes can lock into his. “Look at me,” he pleads in a husky timbre.   You nod and he positions himself at your dripping center, allowing you to drop down when you choose to. And when you do, the two of you groan while keeping your gazes connected.   It feels like he’s filled a void that you didn’t know was there. He’s a snug fit around your velvet heat, stretching just enough that pleasure thrums through you. “J-Jungkook.”   He makes a noise at the back of his throat, understanding what you’re feeling and he leans in for another kiss, his tongue wrapping around yours and drawing more sounds out of you.   The two of you work with each other. Your hips swivel as he pounds upwards into you, pelvises rubbed against one another to clear away Emperor Minseok’s fluids. Jungkook works hard while you squeeze and the cum drips out of you in clumps. It sticks to your thighs and his thick length, drying unpleasantly, but soon it’s only your wetness that comes out from your center.   Jungkook’s hands hold your body, touching you anywhere you guide him to. And you lean onto his sturdy frame, holding onto his built shoulders. Finally, you feel clean. You feel loved.   You kiss him again and his thrusts stutter.   It’s intimate, the sounds of gasping breaths and skin slapping on skin filling the darkness.   Jungkook can tell you’re close and rubs against your clit mercilessly and you cry, quickening your own pace to chase after your pleasure. But before you can finish, he turns your head again.   “Look at me, Y/N,” he says and you nod, teeth sinking into your bottom lip.   You cum while looking into Jungkook’s doe eyes, trying your best to keep them open. And as you squeeze around him, hugging against his cock, he cums. Deep into your heat, right at your cervix. Claiming you as his. Ropes of milky white spurting in then leaking down out of your folds.    All while keeping his tender gaze trained on yours.   You kiss Jungkook again, letting him soften within you, keeping him here just a moment longer.   You love Jungkook. It’s a fact that you don’t want to face in light of the situation — one that you had tried to deny for the sake of your own sanity, but it’s all too true. You love him. And every time he holds you, it feels like you’re making love together. If only things were different, maybe you could’ve had a future together. Maybe you could’ve gotten Seokjin’s blessing and married Jungkook, started a family together and lived a humble life for the rest of your days.   But that desperate and simple wish seems so far out of reach.   Overwhelmed with emotion, you try to keep your tears at bay. Yet, they shed down your cheeks and in the intimate darkness, Jungkook holds you close to him.

It’s one afternoon while you’re walking in the gardens with the poor servant assigned to you following closely behind that you recognize a dark-haired, mischievous individual that you had missed. But you don’t call out to your brother, no matter how much you want to. You keep yourself poised, distant.   “Oh, Consort Y/N. Glad to see you wandering,” the head eunuch, a man you’ve spoken to little, says with a smile.   You keep your head lowered, a tiny smile that is all too genuine on your features. “Empress Soojin said it would be good for my health, so I have followed her instructions.”   “Well yes. Indeed it is.” He grins and then seems to remember the taller, younger man beside him. The head eunuch steps aside and motions towards your older brother. “This is Kang Seokjin. He is a painter from the East that Emperor Minseok has commissioned. Seokjin, this is the Emperor’s most recent consort, Consort Y/N. But I believe you have met before.”   “Only briefly.” You lift your eyes towards your sibling who smiles. “It is nice to see you again.”   “Yes, nice to see you again.” Seokjin’s eyes speak more than his words do and the two of you look at one another for a long moment, exchanging meaningful expressions and taking in the differences that two months have done.   “Well, I must head off now.” You break away the stare, keeping yourself unsuspicious. “It was pleasant to meet your acquaintance again.”   You pass Seokjin, but the two of you look at one another from the corner of your eyes.   He’s finally in the court and a sense of relief fills you. If a few more ministers agree to turn against the Emperor, everything will be complete. It’s Seokjin’s turn to act and now only time will tell.

In the middle of the night when the palace has gone asleep, you sneak from your quarters.   The dirty warehouse has become your sanctuary with Jungkook, a place you’ve grown fond of because it holds your most precious memories. It was this place that you looked forward to the most. That kept you sane. That always promised that your favourite person was waiting inside.    It’s tonight with the full moon out that you get to savour the moment. After the deed has been done, you’re slumped in Jungkook’s arms, naked with just his outer coat around your shoulders.   You take his right hand, uncurling his fingers. Carefully, you trace letters against his warm palm.   “Kim?” Jungkook questions after a moment of concentration.   “Kim means gold,” you murmur and trace more letters against his skin. With your head leaning against his chest, you can hear his soothing heartbeat in your ear. “Seok means great. Jin means precious. Together, it means great gift or big treasure.”   If things were different, you would’ve liked to be a scholar. Transcribing books all day long or writing your own, perhaps creating poetry about nature. As a child, you hated studying and preferred to play like Seokjin did. But it was now that you yearned for those simple times again.   You know Jungkook’s name too and you trace each letter against his palm with your index finger carefully. “Jeon means rice. Jung spindle tree. Kook is country. Together, it means to have a beautiful country.”   “Pillars of the nation,” he clarifies quietly. “Or at least that’s what I think my grandfather intended when he named me.”   “They’re such great names. I hope….the name of our child will be meaningful too,” you hum drowsily while dreaming of the possibilities. “If it’s a boy, Minkook, the country of the people. If it’s a girl, Yujin, meaning full of stars…”    The both of you know you won’t be able to name your child. Not if it’s born within these stone walls. Not when everyone believes it is the Emperor’s. The baby will be taken away from you the moment it’s out, raised while calling the Empress their mother and you would be a nobody.    But then Jungkook dispels away your anguish, even if it’s just for a second. “They’re beautiful names.”   The corner of your lips quirk and you blink sleepily. You tell him about your dream, a memory of the future you have conjured to comfort you, “They would be raised in a quiet home on top of a hill. Where we could see the sunset and sunrise every day. There would be grass where the children could play. A river nearby to wash the clothes too…”   Jungkook’s arms tighten around you and you feel the press of his lips against your temple. “That would be perfect.”   You hum again silently with a smile, falling asleep with Jungkook right beside you. And it’s all you know you can have.   //   Empress Soojin enters your chambers the moment you are doubled over in a copper bowl, the contents of last night’s dinner squeezed painfully from your stomach. The world is on an axis, your head dizzy since you had awoken. But when you realize she’s standing there and taking in your crumpled form, you wipe your mouth with the back of your hand and try to stand.   “Your Majesty…”    The Empress rushes over to steady you, her eyes wide and full of surprise. “You feel nauseous?” Your expression meets hers, your face drained of all blood. The silence speaks for itself. Empress Soojin immediately whirls around to her parade of servants, anticipation etched on her features. “Call the physician!”   No sooner are you laid in the bed with the physician pressing two fingers on your wrist, quiet as he listens to your heartbeat. The Empress is crowding around, her hands gathered together but still trembling. Then the old man lifts his head with brightened eyes.   “She has been with child for two months now. It’s extraordinarily healthy and strong.”   Empress Soojin stumbles back. Her palm is pressed against her chest, her breath staggering out of her parted lips. And you lift yourself, your hand laid on your stomach that has yet to swell.   It’s your child and Jungkook’s.   “From now on, only consume cold foods and make sure it is properly cut or mashed,” he says as he wobbles to his feet. “Avoid shellfish and pineapple too. I will prescribe a herbal tonic that you can take daily.”   “Thank you.” Empress Soojin is grinning and comes to your side to envelop you in a warm embrace that you aren’t used to. “Are you still feeling unwell? Are you hungry? It is important to nourish yourself for this baby.”    When you shake your head, having no appetite, she nods and looks around. “This place is so rancid and dusty.” The Empress spits several servant’s names and they step forth with bowed heads. “Clean this room immediately! We will go on a walk in the meanwhile and get fresh air.”    There is little you can do to deny the whims of the Empress who’s more alive than you’ve ever seen her before. So while your room is cleaned and redecorated with luxurious sheets and golden vases, you’re guided by her on a walk around the garden.   The news spreads like wildfire, passing from servant to servant to official declarations.   Within a few minutes, Emperor Minseok is bounding over. There’s a grin plastered on his sweaty face, the strands of his hair sticking together. He’s out of breath, still in horseback riding gear like he had gotten off a few seconds ago and you recognize Seokjin behind him in the same attire.   “You’re expecting a child?!” Emperor Minseok exclaims loudly, startling you. He’s jumping and you muster a stiff smile, not sure what you should say. But he doesn’t give you an opportunity to. He immediately reaches out to your stomach with his greasy and soot filled hands. “Is it moving?”   But he never lays a hand on you.   Empress Soojin slaps his hand away and her brows furrow sternly. “The child is at a delicate stage. These are not trivial matters.” She pinches her nose. “And the horses’ stench that you’ve brought here is defeating the purpose of coming out here for fresh air.”   “Of course, of course.” Emperor Minseok smiles, retracting his arm.   Your eyes meet Seokjin’s and the corner of his mouth quirks warmly into a familiar smile. “Congratulations, Your Highness. May your child have great blessings as you do.”   You bow your head, trying to not prolong your gaze and arouse suspicion. “Thank you.”   “But…” Emperor Minseok’s eyes flicker between you and the Empress. “Does this mean I will get another concubine soon since I can’t play with Y/N anymore?”   Immediately, Empress Soojin is distraught. Hurt comes across her features as if she’s been slapped and for once, you sympathize with her. She never answers, merely turning around. “We should get you back inside for some rest. It’s not good to be in the cold wind for too long.”   You nod, glancing at your brother behind your shoulder and after a moment, you follow her.   But as you’re making your way back, your path is intercepted by Jungkook on his way to the courtyard. He’s dressed in black robes that match his long hair tied back, holding a sheathed sword as always. Yet what’s different from before is the tenderness of his eyes.   Jungkook doesn’t need to speak for you to understand. You’ve come to learn all the ways he communicates through silence.   “I heard about the news,” he says and you slow to a complete stop. “Congratulations, Your Highness.”   “Thank you.” You savour the moment, looking at him with a soft smile.    To the Empress who turns around to see the delay, the exchange is simply between a guard and consort without connection. She doesn’t know that the meaningful gaze is shared between a mother and father to be, two secret lovers separated by circumstance.   //   There’s many good wishes and felicitations given to you. Even Minister Park, your supposed uncle, makes an extravagant gesture by personally delivering a basket of fresh fruits and vegetables that makes Empress Soojin command the servants to re-wash. But the person you least expect to receive praise and blessings from is Jung Hoseok. In spite of that, he is here in your room, having shown up suddenly.   It’s a surprise and you struggle to get up from your bed.   “Are you alright?” he asks, concerned. “You don’t really need to stand—”   You muster a smile and manage to sit up. “It’s quite alright. I was always taught that the least I can do is greet a guest properly.”   The thin, middle-aged man rubs the gray scruff on his chin and you can feel his sharp eyes that probe into you. The way he studies you carefully would cause sweat to bead along your forehead if not for how safe you feel. It’s not from Empress’ insinuated promise of protection or that you’re abstained from execution or knowing Jungkook would defend you at any cost either.    Ever since you’ve found out that there was life budding within you, you’ve felt safe.   You’re no longer alone. No matter where you go, you carry someone else with you.   And now there’s never been a stronger reason for you to fight, to be strong and unafraid.   “I heard the physician was called this morning,” Hoseok says.   “It was just morning sickness.”   The man hums, arms shifting to place behind his back. “Well, the Empress made quite an uproar.”   “She often worries about me and the child,” you state plainly and it almost sounds like a threat, one Hoseok visibly acknowledges with a cocked brow. But you don’t dwell, clearing your throat and putting a pleasant expression on your face. “May I ask for what reason you’ve graced me with your presence?”    “I just wanted to visit the future emperor.” Hoseok’s eyes linger on your stomach and his smile becomes wry. “It’s quite a miracle, isn’t it? It’s no secret that there has been….some difficulty for a child to be produced. And for it to last this long too. The physician said it was exceptionally strong.”   Your smile stretches, but mirth never reaches your eyes. “The Mandate of Heaven grants miracles. It must be a divine wish and I am honoured to be the one fulfilling it.”   “Yes.” He nods and then notes, “well, you’ve gotten close to the Emperor’s guard, haven’t you?”   “I have no idea what you mean.”   Hoseok eyes you and it goes silent.   Then, you sit back down with the back of your hand pressed to your forehead. You gasp for breath and bat at yourself. “I’m beginning to feel faint. I think I need to lay down. It would be best if you were to leave, minister. God forbid...something happens to this child otherwise.”   Hoseok scoffs, but turns to exit.   Your fist clench, wrinkling the sheets underneath your hold. You’ll do whatever it takes to protect Jungkook’s child.   //   The fourth month milestone of your pregnancy is eventually reached without many qualms or complications. You’re less nauseous than you were before, but the queasiness has been replaced with hunger that often strikes in the middle of the night. You���re given teas and tonics, tested to make sure there is no poison — something Empress Soojin obsesses over and screams if there’s even a hair in the liquid which you’re still not sure if it’s worth laughing about or being scared of. Your breathing has become laboured too, even after short walks.   But most importantly, you’ve begun to feel strange sensations. Flutters in your stomach that the physician says is the movement of the child and when they happen, you can’t help caressing the bump that’s not so tiny anymore.   While things have been going smoothly, you’ve been put under strict monitoring for a whole month.   You’re protected, out of harm’s way. The only people who visit you are the physician, the head servant, a few other servants, and Empress Soojin who constantly and excessively frets over you — her incubator to her supposed baby. Her kindness and concern is meant for the child, not for you and you’re fully aware. It’s not that it matters to you, but it’s something you keep in mind.   You’ve heard the Emperor has found himself new concubines to preoccupy his time with too. Ever the same as he disregards matters of the nation to have innocent girls and conniving concubines lay underneath him. At least you’re untouchable to him now, out of reach and far away.   But it comes at a price.   You can’t see Seokjin. And you can’t see Jungkook either.   Your only connection to him is the swelling of your stomach, a sizable bulge that you can rest your hands against.   You miss Jungkook — so much that it hurts to think about. And it’s yearning for him constantly that makes you question your ears when you hear his voice whispering your name one night.   But it isn’t your imagination.   “J-Jungkook?”   “Don’t get up,” he says, shadow laid against the paper walls of your room. Your eyes trace against the black outline, lump forming in your throat at how this is the closest you can get to him. “I just wanted to come by and tell you that in three days, it’s happening. The ministers and other government officials have agreed to turn against the Emperor and Jung Hoseok. They’re going to force him to abdicate.”   He did it. Seokjin did it. The realization has tears flooding your vision.   “I’ll come for you,” he promises.   The tall shadow moves away, but you call out to him before he leaves—   “Jungkook.” He stops at the soft enunciation of his name, a beck and call made with emotion. And your heart stutters, knowing that the day your yearning will cease is coming close. “The physician thinks it’s a boy. I do too.”   He lingers.   If you could see him, you’d find an affectionate smile stretching into his cheeks.   Jungkook murmurs, “I hope Minkook will be as handsome as his father and as strong as his mother.”   Tears stream down your face. The corner of your lip lifts as Jungkook’s shadow fades.   //   You count down the hours, the minutes, the seconds. They pass by tediously, but excitement swells in your chest as you consider that in three days time, you will have freedom. A life with Jungkook. Seokjin by your side. Your child in your arms, never to be taken away from you.   It’s all you wished for since you stepped foot into the palace. But perhaps even before then.   You might’ve never loved Jungkook the way you do now or yearned to hold your healthy baby close to you, yet it has always been clear that doing anything and being anywhere would’ve been better than here. Even with the careful treatment you receive, this isn’t what you want.   So you wait. Patiently. For the promised day to arrive.   But it’s the day before the expected overthrow that there’s chaos in the middle of the night.    “Y/N!” You’re shaken away by Empress Soojin. Her sudden appearance shocks you out of your peaceful slumber and you’re left gasping for breath. But she’s frantic, eyes nearly falling out of their sockets. She’s still in her nightgown, hair in a disarray. The woman holds you by your shoulders, making you rise. “There’s something going on. I—I n-need to bring you to safety.”   The Empress guides you upwards, shouldering your weight. Once you’re on your feet again, she grabs a silk overcoat and secures it around your shoulders. “Quickly. There’s no time to waste.”   “Your Majesty.” You try to shake the sleepiness away, wondering if it was all a dream. “What’s going on?”   One of your hands is held in hers while the other rests underneath your swollen stomach, supporting the heaviness of the baby. “There’s a carriage waiting for you.”   There’s yelling from the distance, footsteps on the roof that make your head tilt. But you’re unable to discern what they’re saying, what’s occurring. All you know is that you’re about to be sent away. Without Seokjin — without Jungkook.    “Wait.” You struggle to catch up to her pace, confusion inhibiting your movements. Yet she still pulls you along, past the structures and paths shrouded in darkness. “I can’t leave.”   “It doesn’t matter,” Empress Soojin says, more serious than you’ve ever had the chance of witnessing. “You have to protect the baby at all costs.”   She’s desperate to protect you, to protect your child. She came to you first when she could’ve run on her own and left you asleep. She chose to keep you from harm over her own well-being.   Time and time again, Empress Soojin has made sure you were watched over.   And the realization makes guilt well up your throat.   Your steps slow and your arm tugs her back.   “This baby,” you whisper, “it doesn’t belong to who you think it does.”   But Empress Soojin’s hand tightens on yours and she turns around. Her brows are drawn together, the corners of her mouth tilted in a sorrowful smile. “Don’t you think I know that? But it doesn’t matter,” she spits in the midst of your shock and continues pulling you. “The child is supposed to be mine. It will be mine. It’s the only way I can be a mother.”   Before you can get a single word out, she turns the corner and there are deafening shouts. A clamour of feet stomping against the wooden floorboards, the clinking of heavy armour following grunts— “Stop right there!”   “Stand down!” Her voice is unwavering, strong as she pushes you behind her. “I am your Empress—!”   But they are Hoseok’s guards.    You recognize them from having followed the man around, from standing by during the ceremony and other celebrations you’ve been a spectator to. They have sworn their allegiance to him. Not to Emperor Minseok and most certainly not to Empress Soojin.   But she doesn’t seem to understand she’s been caught, that she’s a mouse cornered by two felines. She is naive and continues to scream at them for their disobedience. You try to tug her away, to get her to run, yet her pride is much too strong and you’re yanked away.    Sideways. The collar of your coat is taken by the bloodied knuckles of the guard. Stumbling. He clicks his tongue in annoyance at the ear-piercing Empress and in an effort to silence the ordeal, his weapon raises against you. His sword is high in the air, prepared to slash and end this nightmare.   Except, his blade never hits you.   Even when you shut your eyes, wrap your arms around your stomach to protect your child, hitch your breath, bracing yourself for the cut…..   “NO!”    Empress Soojin throws herself in front of you, her arms outstretched, allowing herself to take the blow as she is ripped from across her right shoulder to the left hip. She spits blood, warm crimson spewing out and splattering onto your cheeks. The world seems to come to a stop.   Your breathing ceases. The guard’s eyes shake for having hacked the Empress herself.   Yet she does not yield in spite of the wound that drips blood to the floor in droplets with a steady rhythm, that soaks into her white nightgown, marring the clean colour. She lurches forward, grabbing a torch attached to the wall and shouts, “Stay back!”   Her yell is howled out from her throat, jarring to the ears, full of wrath and will. And she throws the torch, allowing searing flames to engulf the corridor.   The guards stagger backwards with widened eyes and after a delayed moment, they retreat with profanities before the smoke can engulf their form.   Empress Soojin collapses.   You drop down to her as sobs wreck through your frame. As calculating and thoughtless as she has been, she has never once been insincere to you. She has never abandoned you. You cradle Soojin’s head into your lap, trying to wipe at her mouth with the sleeve of your silk overcoat. But she bats your arm away. Her hazy eyes remain connected with yours.   “P-protect the child…..prom...ise me…”   You nod, tears staining your cheeks forevermore. But you stand, finding leverage against the wall that was slowly being consumed by the sweltering fire and you run. As fast as your weak knees allow you to.   You leave Soojin behind — laying on the floor — staring up at the ceiling.    She dies before being taken by the fire bleeding through the palace.   You run, unsure of where to go but away from the uproar of people, the bloodshed and clashing of swords, away from the blazing inferno, collapsing ceilings and smog that chases your shadow. And it’s when you begin to lose breath and come to a four-way path that you nearly collide with another body.   A scream tears out of your chest until you find warm, familiar eyes.   “Jin?!”   Your brother’s hands secure around your shoulders and he lowers himself for your gazes to meet. “Are you alright?” His chest rises and falls, steadying his breathing as well and you notice the sword dangling by his side, unsuitable and much too lanky. Seokjin has always suited brushes and books more than weapons — something you wish you had told him sooner.   “I—I’m fine, but Empress Soojin. I...I left her behind and she’s wounded. There’s fire….fire!”   “Y/N,” Seokjin calls you calmly and sternly. “Are you okay?”    You nod and he sighs, pulling away. “Then that’s all that matters.”   “What’s going on, Jin?! I thought the abdication was going to be tomorrow.”   “Some of the ministers changed their minds last minute. They decided they wanted to remain loyalists to the Emperor for fear of their families being punished. The revolt has been moved up.”   “Revolt?! I thought….I thought they were just going to force him to abdicate!” You didn’t know that there would be such violence. That all of this was planned prior. It makes you queasy.   “Sometimes sacrifice is needed,” Seokjin merely states. “But you don’t have to worry. We still have the majority of the ministers’ support. They would’ve still voted in favour of abdicating the Emperor from his throne.”    Your brows are drawn tightly together and you shake your head. “What does that mean?”   “It means we’re going to win.” Your older brother smiles, his eyes crinkling, a sense of elation evidently filling his features. But you wonder what the cost of the rebellion coming to fruition is. “I know you’re not carrying the Emperor's child. It’s Jungkook’s, isn’t it?”   Seokjin searches your expression for any confirmation, but unlike how you thought he would be wary of your relationship with his close friend and the dangers that came along with it, he appears more relieved.   “Jungkook told me,” he explains, “and I told him to come find you. Stay here, alright?”   “What?” You grab a hold of your older brother before he can run off, before he can disappear with your worry for him being abandoned with you yet again. “Where are you going?”   “I’m going to find Hoseok before he can run away. I’m going to give him what he deserves.”   Every syllable is spoken with malice, a sharpness and anticipation flooded between each pause.    But you hang onto Seokjin, refusing to let go. You gaze at your sibling, his eyes and hair that appear darker in this lack of lighting, the downturn of his mouth, his shoulders and frame that seem to have gotten thinner in the months you haven’t seen him. You’ve missed Jin so much.   And at this moment, you don’t care that the fire is spreading through the palace. That there was smoke already spread at the ceiling. Bloodshed and pitched screams not far from where you stand. You turn deaf to those noises, to the crackling of the flames, the uprising’s cry.   “Do you really need to do this? Isn’t this enough already?”   “No. It’s not. I won’t be satisfied until I know that bastard hasn’t run away.”   “Please, Seokjin,” you beg with your entire frame, fingers tightening on his sleeve until your knuckles have turned white. You do all that you can to reach him, begging him, pleading with him as his younger sister. “D-Don’t go. I miss you. We’re….we’re family. I only have you left and I...I don’t want you to go anymore. Stay with me, please. Please, please, that's all I ask.”   You remember. Days under the sun where you would follow him. Days he would take dull sticks and poke you incessantly. Days he would piggyback you and tell you stories he made up off the top of his head. That day the two of you hid in the woven baskets and witnessed the massacre of your family until he covered your eyes with his small hands still dirty from picking flowers.   “Don’t go.”   But Seokjin’s has already made up his mind. All by himself.   You can tell with the way his eyes become saddened, how he merely leans in to plant a kiss at your forehead, how he pulls out of your grasps. Seokjin runs off and you try to chase him as if you were still children playing games in the forest. But just like then, he’s faster than you are.   “Seokjin!”   He runs, disappearing into the darkness.   “Jin!” And you’re left alone. Abandoned. Sobbing heart wrenchingly until your whole being aches. “Kim Seokjin!”   You call out to him to no avail, watching the backside of your only brother fading away.

Seokjin hears you, loud and clear. But he doesn’t turn around.    He twists around the corner, sword slashing anyone who comes in his way. After years of training, it’s no longer difficult to drive his blade into bodies and let their blood splatter on his hands. It’s rather easy when he consumes himself in his hatred and anger.   Seokjin kills any guards still wearing the royal emblem or those who have sworn their allegiance to Jung Hoseok, and any ministers who have decided to stay as loyalists. He spares servants, letting them run past him as they cry, begging for mercy. And he persists, even when he has to lurch forward, the gash of his shoulder dripping of his blood and the nicks on his face sting painfully.   He makes it to the grand throne room. The red carpet is rolled in front of him, golden candle lights providing piercing luminescence but making his own shadow darker. This is the place that once held extravagant celebrations to welcome the Emperor’s consorts that were disposed of months later, that held dancers and musicians for the entertainment of the ministers, that failed to save the nation from poverty and famine.   And now, Seokjin finds Hoseok seated on the throne.    The man is alone. Pouring his last cup of wine to drink.   “Jung Hoseok!” Seokjin’s voice booms across the hall, his steps finding vigor as they close the distance. “You can’t run anymore!”   “I know,” the middle-aged man says after he sips and smacks his lips, savouring the taste of wine. “I know I’ve lost. It must feel good to undermine my position, huh? I should’ve known better than to underestimate you, but those are things of the past. I can’t change them now.”   His calmness exasperates Seokjin to his core.   And Hoseok rises to his feet, brushing his robes behind him. His arms are placed behind his back as he walks down the steps of the throne, finally facing the younger man. But he isn’t surrendering, far from it when he takes the sword from the stand and points it at Jin.   There’s shouting, an ear-splitting clash of metal against the crackle of the flames becoming louder as they seep through the back wall. Hoseok is stiff, age having slowed his movements. He isn’t as agile as Seokjin is, doesn’t have his fervour, but it’s clear to Jin that he’s not going without a fight. That he will never give up out of his own will. Hoseok would rather burn here.   “You killed my family!” Seokjin spits when their blades crash against each other again, the older barely able to deflect.   The corner of Hoseok’s mouth tugs. “I ended many families.”   Seokjin never tells him about the Kim family, about how his father and mother were both executed when knelt on the dirty ground, how his uncles and aunts were brutalized before being murdered, that the servants’ sobs only stopped once their breathing ceases.    Seokjin doesn’t tell, just because he has an inkling, a fear that Hoseok won’t even remember.   So he lets his grief speak for itself— “You will pay for what you’ve done.”   There’s a swing, another clatter. Hoseok stumbles back before lifting his sword again.   There’s a chance. An opportunity. Seokjin could deflect, could move away swiftly without a blink to waste, but his eyes instead pinpoint to Hoseok’s open abdomen. A perfect spot and he seizes the moment.   He drives the sword forward.   Until he can hear the breath in the older man hitch, see the way his pupils tremble. Even when the cost is that Hoseok’s own blade digs into his shoulder and tears it down into his chest.   Blood pours like rain on an April afternoon. It drips in a rhythmic beat, coating the empty throne room until the iron stench overwhelms the smoke of the burning, golden walls.   Seokjin uses the remaining of his strength to step back, pulling the sword out of Hoseok. The blood-soaked blade crashes to the ground at the same time as Hoseok’s own body collapses.   And Jin falls back a moment later. The pool of his blood is warm, the fire enveloping the room sweltering. He stares at the magnificently painted ceiling before shutting his eyes for the final time.    The corners of Seokjin’s mouth tugs upwards into a smile.   We’ve won, Y/N.

At the same time, you stumble.

  The wind knocks out of your lungs as your knees buckle. You’re grabbed by one of Hoseok’s guards, pulled back until your arm feels like it’s being yanked out of its socket. You cry out as agony overwhelms you and the guard wheezes over the exhaust of the fire engulfing the palace and paints the wooden structures into bright scarlet.    “She’s here!” he shouts while you struggle.    But before you can be taken, dragged towards the center of the palace, there’s a low grunt from the guard. A short shout is made and he suddenly drops, revealing your saviour. Doe eyes and dark hair, his hands splattered in carmine and his brows knitted closely together.   “J-Jungkook!”   He embraces you in an instant, arms wrapping around your frame for the first time in ages. His nose digs into your hair, your face into his shoulder as you shake. “It’s okay, it’s okay, I’m here now,” he soothes you in a murmur that you desperately hang on to.   But the intimate moment doesn’t last for long.   Jungkook pulls away. “We have to go. There’s an open entrance in the back by the stables.”   “Wait—wait, Jungkook! Jin. I couldn’t stop him. He—he went to find...he went to find Jung Hoseok and he went towards the fire. I can’t leave him behind. He’s my only brother. Please go look for him, please,” you beg him, hands tightening on his. “I can’t go without him.”   “I know,” Jungkook tells you with lips lopsided. “But I need to make sure you’re safe first. I need to fulfill my promise to him. This is what he wanted, okay?”   You nod, putting your trust in him and quicken your pace. The faster you go, the more time they’ll be for Jungkook to return and search for Jin before it’s too late. But as the two of you interlace your hands, running alongside one another, you’re stopped meters away from the circular opening of the wall.   “Stop!” Emperor Minseok shouts pathetically. He’s obviously shaken, his hair in a disarray, his once magnificent robes dirtied and fluttering open. He is with two other guards wielding weapons, but without his clothes and servants, it is clear that he is undeserving of his title.   He is not an Emperor.   “Y-You can’t leave! That child is mine!” Minseok points to your stomach.   “This isn’t your child!” you shout back at him and the man seemingly pales, eyes horrified as his mouth drops open. “It has never been.”   “You….You!”   There’s a clamour above the roar of the fire consuming the entire palace. The last of his guards were coming from the corridor and your hand squeezes Jungkook’s.   If you die here, then so be it. But you will do so protecting your child until your very last breath.   Yet, Jungkook has other plans and it doesn’t encompass your death.    “Run,” he whispers sharply into your ear and you whirl around to look at him. “I’ll hold them off. Run and don’t look back.”   “But—”   “I love you.” Jungkook smiles. His doe eyes crinkle, shining in the flames bleeding to your feet. “I’ll see you again.”   He pushes you forward and your feet move on instinct. You run with your arms wrapped around your swollen center, breaths stolen from your parted lips and your eyes shut tight. The guards swing their swords around, but their blades never touch you. There’s a clatter of metal, blades striking one another.   Minseok reaches out to seize you, not letting you get away. But his fingertips merely skim the tips of your hair. You hear his grunt, a smothered sound coming from his mouth, the drop of a body.   You run. Out through the entrance. Up the dirt incline until your feet begin to slip. Until the darkness has completely covered your form from sight. Until sheer exhaustion forces you to stop.   Against Jungkook’s will, you turn around.   You watch as the raging fire engulfs the palace, eating away at the structure that stretches across the horizon, as blazing as the sunlight at dawn itself. And you fall to your knees, sobbing for the people you love.

[Epilogue]   The dynasty has fallen.   New people have taken over old places and you wonder if it was all futile — if history will repeat itself once more — if Seokjin’s sacrifice has been made in vain. For his sake, you hope not.   After the rebellion and riots on the streets by the common people, the loyalists of the old empire have been driven away from the country. But you know there’s few of them that are still after you because of your ties to the rebels. There are those on the uprising’s side that are seeking to kill you too. They believe that your child belongs to the deceased Emperor and many would rather be safe than sorry, not wanting to risk his bloodline being in existence at all.   But one look at the babbling baby trying to stand in front of you and his striking doe eyes and dark hair, you know for certain that he is of Jungkook’s blood and bones.   “Minkook, what are you doing?���   You pick up your mischievous, chubby toddler to place on your hip.   His grabby hands take your hair and his mouth circles, trying to sound out syllables and string them together. “M-Mum..mum..mama…”   You smile, nuzzling into him. “Are you hungry?”   Those who believe you, the ones closest to Seokjin, have chosen to protect you from the threats. After the birth, you were brought to a safe house far from the capital where no one knows your name or your child’s. It’s a modest home on top of a green hill, close to the riverbend and where you can see the sunrise and sunset. It’s peaceful and every morning and evening, you’re able to sit on the steps. Waiting.   They told you about Seokjin. You heard that several of them saw his body before the entire palace went up into flames, but there’s been no news of Jungkook. No sighting of him.   It’s been eleven months since that time. Six from when Minkook was born.   You don’t know Jungkook’s whereabouts, don’t know if he can even find you with where you’re hidden now, how he will manage to get himself here. But you believe in his promise. You trust that you will see him again.   “Goodnight, Min.”   Your sleepy toddler is unable to keep his eyes open for any longer and succumbs to the seduction of sleep. You plant a tender kiss on the top of his round head and set down on the bed, still softly humming a lullaby that Seokjin had taught you so long ago — a way you keep his memory alive. Once Minkook is secure and safe, your footsteps pad quietly across the floor.    You come outside, shutting the door behind you, sitting on the wooden steps.   The last light of the sun is fading from the sky. The horizon is painted in murky shades of tangerine and rose, the clouds wispy and floating in shapes that you and your brother once tried to discern as children. Someday, your own children will lay in the grass staring at the sky because of his sacrifice and yours. But for now, you watch the sun fall.    You watch as night takes over the evening, how another day has passed.   But as you turn to head inside as the sky starts to be filled with stars, your breath hitches in your throat.   You blink hard to ensure that it's not a dream. That the illusion has not imprinted into your mind after so much desperation and time. But the sight is all too real when you open your eyes again.   Over the horizon at a distance and in the last dwindling light of the evening, there is a man with doe eyes and dark hair approaching. His gaze meets yours and a tender smile stretches into his cheeks. His features are tired as if he has been traveling for days, clothes ragged and ripped.   But none of it matters.   Jungkook comes closer and closer towards you. And you run, meeting him halfway as tears flood your vision. You leap forward and he laughs, arms catching you in a tight embrace.   The two of you are finally reunited at last.

[diueliz]

(picture is a preview, full thing is here)

So here's a list I made for favourite movies I watched, or in some cases rewatched, in 2021. If I counted right, I watched 130 movies in total (a number of these were short films). This is a selection I made based on what I loved the most and what had major significance for me on a personal level. It's not necessarily deep, there's both stuff that made me go "shit, is this me?", and stuff that filled me with extremely simple, joyous glee thanks to the power of the moving image paired with sound — as well as stuff in between these sentiments. There is more that I really liked/appreciated, so not everything appears on here, but choices are choices.

I consider this a little appreciation or love letter to things that contributed in making my year richer and fuller. I won't be giving my motivation for the picks here, it's just a little gesture that has meaning to me. I don't usually do things like this, but it's been a challenging year. One of the things that made it also rewarding is, well, this, and the memories I have attached to these movies, the people I watched them with.

Details and more under the cut.

The list (ordered by watch date):

The Hitcher (1986), dir. Robert Harmon

Stendalì (Still They Toll) (1960), dir. Cecilia Mangini

A Rough History (Of The Destruction Of Fingerprints) (2016), dir. Ayesha Hameed

Fake Fruit Factory (1986), dir. Chick Strand

A Question Of Silence (1982), dir. Marleen Gorris

The Dawns Here Are Quiet (1972), dir. Stanislav Rostotsky

The Servant (1963), dir. Joseph Losey

A Magical Substance Flows Into Me (2015), dir. Jumana Manna

Funeral Parade Of Roses (1969), dir. Toshio Matsumoto

Jawbreaker (1999), dir. Darren Stein

The Blackcoat's Daughter (2015), dir. Oz Perkins

Velvet Goldmine (1998), dir. Todd Haynes

Prometheus (2012), dir. Ridley Scott

Alien: Covenant (2017), dir. Ridley Scott

Sunshine (2007), dir. Danny Boyle

Colossal (2016), dir. Nacho Vigalondo

Ravenous (1999), dir. Antonia Bird

Man With A Movie Camera (1929), dir. Dziga Vertov

Treevenge (2008), dir. Jason Eisener

Titane (2021), dir. Julia Ducournau

Priest (1994), dir. Antonia Bird

Over The Garden Wall (2014), dir. Nate Cash

Angels In America (2003), dir. Mike Nichols

Totally Fucked Up (1993), dir. Gregg Araki

A few honourable mentions: other Mangini works (like Divine Love (1961) , The Bridle On The Neck (1974), Being Women (1965)), that I let Stendalì, the one I felt the most, represent; other works in the Eating/The Other programme on Another Screen (which is where I watched basically all the shorts I saw this past year), I picked Fake Fruit Factory to be on this list but I'd like to also mention Popsicles (1984), The Sandwich (1977), Melons (1988), and The Sweet Number - An Experience Of Consumption (1969) — which is basically all of them; then, Eva's Man (1974); Islands Of Fire (1955); Your Father Was Born 100 Years Old, And So Was The Nakba (2017); Diabolique (1955); Censor (2021); Jeanne Dielman, 23, Quai Du Commerce 1080 Bruxelles (1975); Autour De Jeanne Dielman (2004); Pig (2021); Il Demonio (1963), another good rewatch; The Return Of The Living Dead (1985); Demons (1971); The Outsiders (1983); Stand By Me (1986); The Blood On Satan's Claw (1971); The Blob (1988); The Ash Tree (1975); Alice (1988); Young Frankenstein (1974); Child's Play (1988); Gremlins 2: The New Batch (1990). And that should be it!

[sitp-recs]

hii Liv could you please help me understand the difference between slow burn and slow build (if there is any?!) by recc'ing some fics you think fit their descriptions?? i'm so confused at this point it's not even funny D:

Hi anon! I think these tags are more often than not used interchangeably. I could be wrong but I’d say slow burn usually refers to the romance aspect, while slow build is more about pacing and tension - think of fics that gradually raise the stakes. I did two slow burn lists, here and here. As for slow build, these would be great examples in my humble opinion:

And Save Me From Bloody Men by @blamebrampton (2010, T, 10k)

Draco Malfoy once watched others fighting to stop the world falling apart. This time, he's not just watching.

Turn from Stone by @harryromper (2019, M, 45k)

Harry knows there’s nothing he can do to stop Hermione (war hero, historian, author of the reissued “Hogwarts: A History”) once she sets her mind to something. Even an extremely risky last-ditch effort to restore the ancient castle and lay its newest ghosts to rest. What he wasn’t counting on was her insistence that Draco Malfoy be part of the plan.

REVOLVEVLOVER by @firethesound and @lol-zeitgeistic (2014, E, 46k)

The work Harry does is justifiable. It’s justice. He works for his country, and his country is a republic—the magical side, anyway. It’s not laudable work, it’s not work he’s proud of, but it’s necessary work. Harry has always taken the necessary jobs that no one else has the stomach for.

The Darkness Before the Dawn by Ren (2016, E, 55k)

A mysterious creature is loose in London, stalking and killing people. Auror Harry Potter requests the help of a liaison from the Beast Division and gets saddled with Draco Malfoy. Will they be able to stop the creature before it claims more lives?

Running on Air by @tinyhistory (2014, T, 75k)

Draco Malfoy has been missing for three years. Harry is assigned the cold case and finds himself slowly falling in love with the memories he collects.

Super Rich Kids by trishjames (2020, E, 81k)

Draco Malfoy has become disillusioned by the glitz and glamour of the scandalous lives of the Post-Second Wizarding War Pureblood Elite. Enter: one existential crisis, one group of thieving cynical friends, and several terrible, terrible decisions.

Hermione Granger's Hogwarts Crammer for Delinquents on the Run by waspabi (2016, T, 93k)

‘You're a wizard, Harry' is easier to hear from a half-giant when you're eleven, rather than from some kids on a tube platform when you're seventeen and late for work.

At Your Service by Faith Wood (2012, E, 95k)

Hogwarts students are in danger; Harry is determined to save them all. There's only one thing he knows for certain: Draco Malfoy is somehow involved.

All Missing Things ( Can Be Found ) by daisymondays (2017, E, 100k)

After a drunken hook up ends badly, Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy have no intention of ever speaking again -- but when they're assigned to solve a case of young child disappearances, they have to put their past behind them.

Far From The Tree by aideomai (2020, E, 112k)

The arrival of Harry Potter’s children—snapped back in time, the children themselves guessed, twenty or so years—was the most interesting thing to happen at Hogwarts for years.

There Is Always the Moon by @firethesound (2016, T, 159k)

Draco's life after the war is everything he wanted it to be: it's simple, and quiet, and predictable, and safe. But when a mysterious curse shatters the peace he'd worked so hard to build, there's only one person he can trust to help him.

Temptation on the Warfront by alizarincrims0n (2015, E, 180k)

Draco Malfoy is forced into hiding with the Golden Trio and dragged into their search for horcruxes. What ensues is a journey of redemption, unexpected friendships and an unwanted, turbulent romance with Harry Potter. Warnings for swearing, sexual content, and dark themes.

In the Dark by @bixgirl1 (2020, E, WIP)

In the aftermath of an apocalypse, Harry receives an order to find and bring Draco Malfoy nearly a thousand miles, to the tenuous safety of Hogwarts. But more than distance separates them from their goal.

[lcdrarry]

LCDrarry Round-Up Post | Week 2

On Sundays during our posting period, we won't post a new work, instead you have time to catch up on the works that posted during the week and hopefully leave lovely comments for our creators.

Happy reading, commenting and sharing! ;)

~Your LCDrarry Mods

PS: Please have a look at the author notes and tags on AO3 for additional information. Thank you!

PPS: Here are all round-up posts of LCDrarry 2021:

Round-up Post Week #1 

Round-up Post Week #2 (you’re here ;))

Round-up Post Week #3 

Round-up Post Week #4

***

Art

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Between Your Heart and Mine

Prompt: "Crimson Peak", 2015, Guillermo del Toro Prompted by: vivi1138 (ao3) Artist: Anonymous Art Medium: Digital Art Rating: General Warnings: none

Summary: Auror Harry Potter is called to investigate barren and isolated Malfoy Manor, home to Sir Draco Malfoy. There, he finds forgotten secrets, lingering ghosts and perhaps even love.

View "Between Your Heart and Mine" on AO3.

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At the Beginning (With You)

Prompt: "Anastasia", 1997, Don Bluth and Gary Goldman Prompted by: Erebeus (ao3) Artist: Anonymous Art Medium: Digital Art Rating: Teen Warnings: none

Summary: It's one, two, three, and suddenly he sees it a glance.

View "At the Beginning (With You)" on AO3.

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Fallen

Prompt: "Chocolat", 2000, Lasse Hallström Prompted by: the artists Artists: Anonymous Art Medium: paper, thread, chalk, ink Rating: General Warnings: Food, Depression, Clergy

Summary: As Père Harry passed the window of the chocolate shop early on Easter morning, he was shocked to discover the Comte de Malfoy, who had destroyed the shop's window display and fallen asleep in his grief and exhaustion.

View "Fallen" on AO3.

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The Poet's Choice

Prompt: "Portrait of a Lady on Fire", 2019, Céline Sciamma Prompted by: @onbeinganangel Artist: Anonymous Art Medium: Digital Art Rating: General Warnings: none

Summary: On an isolated island in Brittany at the end of the eighteen century, Harry is commissioned to paint a wedding portrait of Draco without him knowing, since he refuses to pose. That means a lot of staring, and a lot of time together. Time goes by, and, inevitably, like everything in life, they fall in love. But Harry has to finish his painting, and Draco has to get married.

View "The Poet's Choice" on AO3.

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Fic

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Jurassic Drarry

Prompt: "Jurassic Park", 1993, Steven Spielberg Prompted by: @PhenomenalAsterisk Author: Anonymous Word Count: 1,941 words & Digital Art Rating: General Warnings: Unconventional disposal of dinosaurs; fanart includes graphic image of meat

Summary: An unflappable palaeontologist, a sexy chaos theorist, and a distracted palaeobotanist are called in to tour an eccentric billionaire's pet project.

Read "Jurassic Drarry" on AO3.

***

It is on the other side of my soul (where your name is written)

Prompt: "Call Me By Your Name", 2017, Luca Guadagnino Prompted by: @royaldynazty Author: Anonymous Word Count: 16,372 words Rating: Explicit Warnings: implied switching, rimming, anal sex, no age difference (HP canon-compliant age difference)

Summary: Harry’s having it all, now that the unpleasantries of being treated like a loose cannon is gone: the war is well over, and Voldemort is long dead. He’s made the choice to stay in B, an unplottable magical town in Northern Italy, whose protection wards had kept him in one piece at the height of the second wizarding war, and whose seclusion provides him with the quiet, normal life that he now lives. Harry adores the grassy hills that enclose B like the warm arm of a mother; Likes playing the grand piano from dawn to dusk; Cherishes his current life, on the whole. He gets himself Mocaccino every morning and sometimes has dinner with the Weasleys at their cottage nearby. With the majority of his friends and family falling in love with B and gradually settling down as well, Harry feels like this is the last place he would ever want to leave. To say that the arrival of a certain wizard—a razor-sharp, infuriating blond—makes anything remotely different for Harry would be absurd, of course.

Read "It is on the other side of my soul (where your name is written)" on AO3.

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In Search of Our Better Selves

Prompt: "Mad Max: Fury Road", 2015, George Miller Prompted by: @gilded-disaster Author: Anonymous Word Count: 17,519 words Rating: Explicit Warnings: Mentions of past torture, mentions of past rape, brief mention of miscarriage, descriptions of gun violence and injury. Sexual content.

Summary: Five times Imperator Draco saved Potter’s life and the one time Potter saved his.

Read "In Search of Our Better Selves" on AO3.

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Where in the World is Draco Malfoy?

Prompt: "Carmen Sandiego", 2019, Series Prompted by: @Ladderofyears Author: Anonymous Word Count: 18,029 words Rating: Mature Warnings: Minor mentions of homophobia, violence, and blood

Summary: After the war, Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter took parallel paths of fighting crime. Draco discovered the existence of VILE, an international organisation dedicated to the eradication of Muggle-borns. With the help of his best friend, Blaise, he commits international capers to steal artifacts before VILE can get their hands on them. Harry is the auror investigating the heists, but his instincts tell him there’s more than meets the eye.

Read "Where in the World is Draco Malfoy?" on AO3.

***

Peaches & Cream And A Little Bit Of Acid

Prompt: "Modern Love", 2019, Series Prompted by: @prolix- Author: Anonymous Word Count: 27,755 words Rating: Explicit Warnings: suicidal thoughts, mental health issues

Summary: In love there is no real hiding. You have to be pretty up front on who you are. The problem was though, Harry didn’t have a clue who he was one moment from the next.

Read "Peaches & Cream And A Little Bit Of Acid" on AO3.

***

Please help promote the fest by sharing your favourite submissions, so more people can enjoy all the amazing new Drarry works of LCDrarry. Thank you!

Author and artist reveals are on 15 June.

[truelivingblogs]

Selena Gomaz's early struggles

Selena Marie Gomez was born on July 22, 1992, in Grand Prairie, Texas, to Ricardo Joel Gomez and Texas-conceived previous stage entertainer Amanda Dawn “Mandy” Cornett. She didn’t have an especially simple youth. Her mom and father got separated from when she was just 5 years of age, and she lived with her mom in extremely helpless conditions. She and her mom moved to Los Angeles and battled monetarily. They were incredibly, poor. Her mom needed to maintain 3 sources of income just to get by. Getting by was especially hard for them. She was not content with her folks’ separation and took it rather brutally. This intellectually influenced her prosperity and she thought that it is exceptionally hard.

Career

Her enthusiasm for acting got going when she saw her mom. While watching her mom plan for stage creations, Selena’s adoration for seeking after a similar profession was conceived. From here her adoration for media outlets touched off with a searing enthusiasm. Selena Gomez anyway acknowledged unimportant acting positions that in the end prompted her profession in the music business. Selena most certainly gifted, however it was her dedicated soul that acquired her a position of high regard and worth. Her first break came in 2002, with the show, 'Barney and Friends'. She turned out to be extremely well known soon and got many acting jobs. She appeared in three episodes of Disney series, Hannah Montana. Thereafter Gomez starred in the Disney Channel series 'Wizards of Waverly Place' in which her role was much appreciated and earned her numerous awards and nominations. Additionally she has an exceptionally fruitful singing profession. Yet, her inconveniences and issues didn’t end with her prevalence. 

In the year 2008, Gomez sang and released her first album. The album was named as Selena Gomez and the Scene and was titled Kiss and Tell. The album saw a huge success and ranked among the Top 10 of the Billboard 200. In the same year Gomez appeared in the film Ramona and Beezus and released her second album A Year without Rain. She acted in couple of films in the following years and in the year 2013, Gomez released her solo debut album. The album which was named 'Come And Get It' went on to become first Top 10 hit of the Billboard 100 chart. Gomez earnings estimated to 3 million for every chart topper she recorded and released.

Social work

Gomez is also actively involved in NGO and philanthropic activities. She does a lot of charity work and involves in social causes. She has also actively engaged herself in production business and owns a production house ' July Moon Productions'.A notable milestone in her career is work with UNICEF. She was named UNICEF's Spokesperson  For The Trick-or Treat UNICEF campaign. The cause encourages children to raise money on Halloween to help needy children around the world. She expressed her interest in supporting and working for a children's cause.

The inspiring comeback

Following the troublesome stage she has another significant obstruction her way. In 2015, Selena unfortunately affected by Lupus. Selena needed to go through a kidney relocate a medical procedure on account of her condition with Lupus. During the medical procedure, her body kicked back against the new kidney and she broke one of her corridors. Her condition was excessively desperate to the point that the specialists thought it was a wonder that she emerged from it alive. She did firmly retaliate, yet things were difficult. Selena Gomez had on and off battled with melancholy and uneasiness in her life. As of late, Selena talked about misery transparently and attempted to utilize her big name status to bring issues to light of how significant your psychological wellness is and how significant is to look for treatment, look for help and not keep quiet, voiceless, as a result of disgrace or judgment. She experienced physical and mental illnesses, everything being equal. Regardless of this she came out more grounded after every mishap. She strolled past every one of the battles with such fortitude and valor that a couple of us can at any point try to coordinate. She is really a motivation to a great deal of hopeful individuals out there.

[vikingqueer]

music recommendations because i have some thoughts™

i don't wanna be that person who's like "my music taste is so weird lol" but i find that very often most of my friends don't really care for the music i like so i thought i'd just make a long ass post about it on tumblr instead. Fair warning, I'm very passionate about MIKA and The Mechanisms and so this very quickly got VERY long because it is part of my ongoing campaign to convince people to listen to mika and the mechs.

1) MIKA in general, but especially My Name Is Michael Holbrook (2019) and No Place In Heaven (2015) (especially the Deluxe version!!)

MIKA is a kind of British singer (half Lebanese, grew up in France blabla), and you probably know him for Grace Kelly and Relax, Take It Easy from his first album Life In Cartoon Motion from 2007. He writes a lot of FUN music, interspersed with the occasional slightly sadder song, especially when looking at an album like No Place In Heaven, which contains a lot of songs with gay themes, resulting in some songs that are just a little bit ouch. He's originally classically trained and has a frankly RIDICULOUS range and idk he just writes very good pop music. Also I have so much respect for that time he talked about how a lot of pop is very fake, with like expensive cars and stilettos and mini skirts in the snow and said "Because I walk down the street, and I don't see any of that. I see fat women and gay men. I don't know... That's real". He's written 5 albums; My Name Is Michael Holbrook (2019), No Place In Heaven (2015), The Origin Of Love (2012), The Boy Who Knew Too Much (2009), and Life In Cartoon Motion (2007).

For starters, I recommend listening to Last Party, Origin Of Love, Grace Kelly, Blame It On The Girls, Blue, Happy Ending, Pick Up Off The Floor, Last Party, Underwater, Tomorrow and Tiny Love (yes this is a long list but i REALLY love MIKA). If you want a slightly broader palette that's not just my favourites, I recommend the Mika starter pack on spotify.

2) The Mechanisms. I warn you. I am making this a thing. I have been obsessed with the mechs since last march.

Boy, where to start? The Mechanisms were a British 9 member space pirate story-telling cabaret that "died" in January 2020. They rewrite songs to fit retellings of various stories. I don't even know what genre I'd describe them as, but probably folk but steam-punk?? Their 4 "main" albums are concept albums, and I honestly just recommend listening to the from beginning to end in chronological order. A good way to get into the mechs is also to listen to UDAD and then watching the live show on youtube or alternately try giving Death To The Mechanisms a listen, to get good quality live show audio of TBI and various other stuff. Also, it was streamed on YouTube and someone combined the footage with the album audio and it rocks. Really, I think the mechs' best selling points are honestly just their concept albums:

Once Upon a Time (In Space) Their first album from 2012. I'd say this is the most "easily digestible" for the general public, since it's a retelling of various fairytales. So, what if Old King Cole was in fact not merry, but rather a cold-blooded dictator, intent on colonising as much of the galaxy as possible. What if Snow White was a general, looking to avenge what King Cole did to her sister, Rose. What if Cinderella was to be wedded to Rose the day that King Cole attacked in order to kidnap Rose? But y'know, In Space and also like every other mechs album it's a beautiful tragedy. Fave songs are Old King Cole, Pump Shanty, and No Happy Ending.

Ulysses Dies at Dawn You guessed it, it's a story about Odysseus, or Ulysses because I guess Ulysses is easier to rhyme or fit in the meter or something, idk. Ulysses is a war hero of unknown gender who is said to keep something that could take down the corrupt Olympians, meanest families in the City, in a vault to which only they know the passcode. Oedipus, Heracles, Orpheus, and Ariadne have been hired by Hades, who happens to be The Mechs' quartermaster Ashes O'Reilly, to get into Ulysses' vault. I didn't care much for udad at first, but honestly it's got some real bangers and the story is really good. UDAD weirdly stands out as the only of the concept albums to not feature any gay relationships, per se. Fave songs are Riddle of the Sphinx, Favoured Son, and Underworld Blues.

High Noon over Camelot This is my favourite mehcs album. So basically, this is Arthurian legend, but it's a space western and Jonny D'Ville does a bad southern accent. This is the story of the cowboy lovers Arther, Lancelot, and Guinevere searching for the Galfridian Restricted Acces Interface Login, or GRAIL, in order to stop their world from falling into the sun. Meanwhile, Mordred and Gawaine are ruling Camelot, and Mordred has convinced Gawaine to try to establish peace with the Saxons by whom Mordred was raised, but Gawaine hates viciously. If you love getting your heart broken and songs by a fucking off the rails batshit preacher I HIGHLY recommend hnoc. Fave songs are Gunfight at the Dolorous Guard, Blood and Whiskey, and Once and Future King. Honorary mention for Hellfire because it awakens something animalistic in me.

The Bifrost Incident TBI is the frankly only good adaptation of norse mythology I've ever known of, and I say that as Dane who was literally forced to learn things about norse mythology in school because it's my heritage or whatever. I've been listening to TBI a lot lately because it's VERY good. It's definitely the most refined of the mechs' albums (because it's the newest) but also I just love a little bit of cosmic horror. 80 years ago, Odin, the All-Mother, ruler of Asgaard, launched a train through the wormhole Bifrost that would reduce the travel between Asgaard and Midgaard from 3 months to 3 days, but things didn't go quite as planned. Lyfrassir Edda of the New Midgaard Transport Police is trying to solve the case of why suddenly the train has arrived 80 years late; to figure out whether it was accident or maybe it was sabotaged by Loki, who was allegedly sentence to death her murder of Baldur, by the Midgaardian resistance led by Loki's wife Sigyn, or maybe by Thor, who was to take over after Odin, and who holds quite the grudge because he used to be a friend of Loki's. You might've heard the song Thor from this album, it's apparently quite popular. Fave songs are Loki, Ragnarok III: Strange Meeting, and Ragnarok V: End of The Line. Yet again an honorary mention: Red Signal because while Lovecraft was a bitch, his invocations are fucking RAW.

Basically, the Mechanisms do all of their performances in character as captain first mate Jonny D'Ville, quartermaster Ashes O'Reilly, pilot DrumBot Brian, master-at-arms Gunpowder Tim, science officer Raphaella la Cognizi, doctor Baron Marius Von Raum (neither a baron, nor a doctor), archivist Ivy Alexandria, engineer Nastya Rasputina, and The Toy Soldier, who is, as usual, present. You can find very obscure lore about the crew of the Aurora here, tidbits on Tales To Be Told and TTBT Vol. 2, such as One Eyed Jacks, The Ignominious Demise of Dr. Pilchard, Gunpowder Tim vs. The Moon Kaiser, Lucky Sevens, and Lost in the Cosmos.

If you feel like listening to a full 40-50 minute album to find out if you like a band is a bit much, I recommend listening to one of the mini stories Alice, Swan Song, or Frankenstein, which are about 12, 5 and 9:30 minutes respectively.

3) The Amazing Devil You know that guy who played Jaskier in the Witcher? I got into The Amazing Devil from spotify recommending them because I listened to the mechs, and apparently Joey Batey from The Amazing Devil is the same Joey Batey who was in the Witcher. Both him and Madeleine Hyland are VERY talented singers and songwriters and their second album The Horror and the Wild makes me go out into the forest and SCREAM. I listened to it on repeat for like a month straight. I guess they'd also be considered folk, but like. New Folk. Also yes, this is another British artist, I don't know why I'm like this. I've never really gotten that into their first album, Love Run, but King slaps. As I understand there's this whole lore about the Blue Furious Boy and Scarlet Scarlet, Joey and Madeleine respectively, but unlike the Mechanisms it's actually possible to find out things about the actual real people and harder to find the obscure lore? I'm open for people to please help me. Fave songs are The Horror and the Wild, Farewell Wanderlust, and That Unwanted Animal, which is literally a third of their second album, but again. I haven't really listened to Love Run that much, and I just LOVE the harmonies on THATW. (also im gay and dramatic leave me alone)

4) dodie I have so much love for this woman. Like many others, I first knew dodie as doddleoddle on youtube. I think I first stumbled across her in probably 2015, because I distinctly already knew her before she released her first EP Sick of Losing Soulmates in 2016. I think I watched probably every video she's ever made in the span of a few weeks. I just loved her quiet sound and was absolutely HOOKED. Also she's actually the reason I got into MIKA originally, so thanks for that. Dodie just realeased her first album Build A Problem (in addition to her three EP's; the one mentioned above, You, and Human) and it slaps. Yes dodie is also British Fave songs are probably Monster, Rainbow, and In The Middle.

5) Cladia Boleyn Unfortunately, Claudia Boleyn only has three singles and that's it. She's been making content on youtube for quite a while, and that's how I first discovered her. I don't know what genre her music is, but I like it. The songs are Celesta, George, and Mother Maiden Crone, of which the latter is my favourite. I'm not saying Claudia Boleyn invented women in 2017 when she released Mother Maiden Crone, but she did. Also you guessed it, Claudia Boleyn is British.

6) Hozier I'm not about to tell you about Hozier. You know who he is. Listen to Nina Cried Power, Angel Of Small Death & The Codeine Scene, and Shrike. Also Hozier isn't stricly British in that he is definitely from A British Isle, but Ireland is not part of the UK. Give me a break.

7) Oh Land Oh Land IS DANISH. I like her early music best, because I'm not that into the electronic sound. I guess Oh Land is just you regular old pop, but with the occasional weird vibe? Oddly enough, I like her first album Fauna best. Unfortunately I haven't really listened to her newest album Family Tree much, but it seems good? Fave songs are Frostbite, Love You Better and Family Tree. I cried on the bus, first time I listened to the Danish version of Love You Better, Elsker Dig Mer because my mother tongue always just hits harder. Also Frostbite is Oh Land doing a duet with herself which is pretty cool.

8) Oysterband This is a live recommendation. I mean they're a decent folk band and all, but they're a fucking experience live. If you like folk and you ever get the opportunity to see Oysterband live, do it. Unfortunately, yes. They are British. Either way, they are incredible on a scene and I think they deserve a mention for that.

9) Ben Platt Honestly don't know much about this guy, but he's not British and he was in Dear Evan Hansen. He released an album in 2019, Sing To Me Instead, and I just think it's a good album, there isn't really not much more to it. Fave songs are Grow As We Go, Bad Habit, and In Case You Don't Live Forever.

and thats all for now. this has been a ramble. shout out to you if you actually read all of this, especially the mechs part.

[overlookedwwiimedia]

Overlooked WWII Media’s Rec List 2.0

Tumblr won’t let me update the original post so I’m making a new one with a couple new recommendations!  All the old recommendations are still here, and the Rec List link on my blog has also been updated.  Enjoy!

Posted 2/8/2021.

Updated 11/9/2024.

The Dawns Here are Quiet (2015)

Bomb Girls (2012)

The Guernsey Literary & Potato Peel Pie Society (2018)

Suite Francaise (submission)

Land Girls (2009)

Catch-22 (2019)

Generation War (2013)

Jojo Rabbit (2019)

The Monuments Men (2014)

The Man in the High Castle S1 S2 S3 S4

Home Fires (2015)

Remembrance (2011)

Charité at War (2019)

El Alamein - The Line of Fire (2002)

The Windermere Children (2020)

World on Fire S1 (2019)

Greyhound (2020)

Canopy (2013)

Foyles War (2002-2015)

A Call to Spy (2019)

Land of Mine (2015) *

The Defeated (2020) *

The Gathering Storm (2002)

Darkest Hour (2017)

The Railway Man (2013)

Night Train to Munich (1940)

Into the White (2012)

Jaguar (2021)

A League of Their Own (2022)

A Matter of Life and Death (1946)

SAS Rogue Heroes (2022)

All Creatures Great and Small (2020)

The Best Years of Our Lives (1946)

We Were the Lucky Ones (2024)

The Four Days of Naples (1962)

Five Graves to Cairo (1943)

*These movies/series contain graphic violence, watch at your own discretion.

[lookforanewangle]

#wipwednesday part one: talon!au edition! this is the very beginning of talon au (minus a tiny prologue, but that’s going to wait for the actual posting). dick isn’t having a good time right now, but a mysterious man is there to provide some semblance of comfort :(

this fic first came into being in 2015 (inspired by this lil doodle actually, and then careened wildly out of control and down a different path though looking at my tags, a lot of that remains the same, but that was the spark!). been chipping away at it here and there for the past six years, but nano19 and nano20 kicked my ass into gear, and I’m up to 34k now :o still only have about a third of the story written, but progress is being made!! all tidbits etc. for this verse are tagged #talon!au

live text under the cut!

There is a man at the circus.

There is a man at the circus, and Dick's blood is ice in his veins, and his heart is trying to beat out of his chest, and he can't get in enough air, and the only thing he can hear are his thoughts on repeat: they fell they fell they fell and they're dead dead dead your parents are dead and they fell--

Dick's hands are shaking and the man is talking to him.

Dick’s not sure what the man is saying, but his voice is nice. Kind. There are tears in Dick’s eyes as he turns to look at the man sitting next to him. When did he sit? How long has it been since--

“What?” Dick rasps, turning his broken thoughts from they fell they fell they fell to focusing on the man’s voice as he speaks, kindness and pain written all over his features and swimming in his pale blue eyes, eyes the color of the sky just before dawn--

Mama's eyes were so much more vibrant, the color of a clear lake in Colorado, the deep blue of a cloudless summer sky, and they won't ever be that color again--

theyfelltheyfelltheyfe--

“I want to help you,” the man says, voice slow and steady and Dick latches onto it's deep timbre like a lifeline; hands latching onto wrists and holding steady. Safe. “I… know what you’ve been through. How much it hurts. I want to help, if you’ll let me. At least for a few days, until the police are able to find who did this.”

The steady thrum of they fell they fell is still beating at the back of his mind and his breaths are still hard to pull in and his chest hurts, hurts all over, but he forces himself to respond.

“Okay,” he whispers, choking on the words in his throat raw from screaming. The man places a gentle hand on his shoulder and everything quiets, just a little, and with that everything is a little easier.

“Okay.”

[coffeewreckedkeyboard]

[the places i find you]

fandom - yugotalia / balkantalia pairing -serbcro warnings - purple prose

i own none of these characters

Living alone is something Dražen, Croatia really, is used to. He can accommodate loneliness very well, telling himself quite expressly that he doesn’t mind it at all. He doesn’t mind the quiet evening, the calm mornings and the mundane day to day. He’s able to decorate his home however he pleases, hang a flag without shame, and not have to retreat to the silence of his room if someone eventually loses their temper.

But he finds him in every crevice, stashed away behind curtain of clothes and left behind in bathroom cabinets. It’s the little things that build up, the ghost that lingers in laughter that sounds too close for comfort but so far away that Dražen swears he’s being haunted (even though he’s never believed in ghosts — but so much tells him that he’s wrong). Sure, he’s just a simple text, a phone call, an email away but he doesn’t want to.

No matter how much time has passed, he’s too stubborn to — he’s in the right to not talk to him, why should he? There’s a million other things he should do, could do, wants to do. Can’t do. Won’t do. None of it as fun without the stench of his favorite cigarettes, a cold cup of coffee and late enough in the night that dawn only peeks over the horizon. He doesn’t get that same timeless feeling — the lack of ache in his muscles and bones, that only ever become noticeable at the sound of humans, at the loneliness of couches and beds, kitchen tables that would be filled with food in the true Balkan fashion.

And ghosts do attach themselves to him — they echo old conversations, pull up memories of times where maybe, for a moment, he too could be human for just a few minutes and kiss other boys without shame. Perhaps, he thinks. In another life, there would be no ties to the whims of human whims. Because kisses at sunsets, in the rain, and stolen at Christmas markets when they believe nobody else is looking isn’t as fun when there’s no promise of a growing gray, growing old together — it’s only fun to sneak around when you’re young, away from the prying eyes of Austrian masters and loud Ottoman rulers, the whispers of we’ll be free can only hold so much weight when there’s always the uncertainty of what the humans want. They have no today, no tomorrow, and no yesterday.

And his winter jacket hangs in his closet, hidden away because Dražen forgot to give it back to him the last time he visited — 2015? — the last time he willingly entered the private premises of the man named Dražen Krleža and not the nation of The Republic of Croatia. He is a ghost that haunts, lingers with his stupid smile and loud voice that makes his ears ring, ruins the idea that he could emulate the young Austrian master who was strict and kind and would never really glance his way, never see him as an equal and only one of the problem ones. His stupid impulsivity and give no fucks about anyone else angers Dražen, and upsets the Republic of Croatia because it’s not fair — how hard he strives and how quickly he falls behind. And then there’s goddamn Serbia, Vuk Misic, who does what he wants, when he wants without even much of a care what the others think — the ability to fearlessly look Germany (and even America) in the eyes and plainly tell him to fuck off.

And his winter jacket is musty and needs to be washed, and it has a half used pack of cigarettes and a few dinar. He finds old, crumpled receipts of wine he bought that was Dražen’s favorite (“Shit’s fucking expensive, but you like it so here you go.”), and scraps and other things. He’ll wash it and he’ll give it back, after all, winter is going to set on the horizon (and he’s sure Vuk bought a new coat, assuming the asshole isn’t just wearing sweaters and pretending that the bite of winter doesn’t bother him. He’s due to go to Stockholm soon, anyways, and it gets cold.) very soon.

And Dražen finds his ghost unsent texts, emails in drafts that he couldn’t ever quite send, and in letters he forgot Vuk ever even wrote him (and they wrote daily back then, back before it all went wrong) but can’t stomach to read them now because all he can do is live right in this moment but they still whisper his name (his writing is crude, scrawls of a country boy learning to write and talking about how weird Romania is, how annoying Ottoman is — it’s a tune, a song Dražen didn’t realize he’d memorized), he finds Vuk, not Serbia, missing on the couch and at empty tables, lingering in his hallway and taking up the bathroom.

And he packs them all away, pushing them aside as he goes out to his balcony as the sun slowly goes to sleep and watches lovers, friends, go about their day and unaware of the ghosts around them. And yet, Dražen is unable to ignore the empty spot next to him because his ghost is there, in a non-space, echoing and he can’t enjoy his cigarette because this man has the audacity to haunt him this way.

And he debates and argues why he shouldn’t text him — they agreed that their entire relationship should be formal, business only.

But isn’t business to invite a colleague out for a drink?

Still, while Vuk’s ghost lingers and haunts, Dražen can’t quite convince himself — in all his loneliness — to text him because if he is here, physically, he may never quite get rid of his ghost after. And he may never let the man, Vuk Misic, go and dig in his claws while limbs entangled and force him to stay because the physical apparition is too much to handle when they all linger and haunt at different times.

And Dražen was never good at saying goodbye.