#The Assassin and the Desert

[acourtofquestions]

So, I (of course😂) have a LOT of thoughts after finishing The Assassin’s Blade — heading into Heir of Fire, so I still don’t fully know the series… this is current non-spoiler thoughts — but let’s get into it:

First off let’s deal with a big one: Celaena and Arobynn.

…Mostly “big” because their entire relationship is so severely f*ed up it take’s a LOT to understand… However, the biggest thing that keeps sticking out to me is the fact that it does makes sense (I am NOT saying it’s right, or healthy; to be clear it is most definitely NOT) it is a disturbingly realistic portrayal of what THAT kind & level of abuse does to a person.

It is infuriatingly painful to watch; as the reader you can clearly see the issue; you want to scream at Celaena to RUN already, get out, NOW; you feel for Sam’s frustration at times becoming fury & terror at the fact she does not stop him.

Yet, it is not a lack of knowing or agreeing with this that makes Celaena stay; it isn’t even wanting to stay, often she confirms the opposite; it’s the fact that she is utterly terrified. At times Arobynn makes her revert into a terrified state of childlike fawning. All centered around the idea; I can only seem to explain using this quote (because Shakespeare has nothing on Taylor Swift; though the context of this is 100% NON romantic; that question mark on their relationship is utterly skin crawling) “Who’s going to know me?” if not Arobynn who is going to know Aelin Galathynius ever even existed?

… Everything Celaena has become she has been (falsely) taught into believing was “Arobynn given”; even her notoriety as the prized “Adarlan’s Assassin” is not by her mark but by his word. He has ensured at every opportunity that she does not forget it; that she feels small & one breath away from being prey, that she does not feel sure of herself or anything aside from him (and even that is a pendulum) that she is haunted by her past; and never forgets what it is to lose EVERYTHING. She lost everything. In that she had to destroy every piece of the girl she was; the one that had a family she loved; the one that had a home, a country, a purpose; anything she was before the one Arobynn pulled out of the river. And if not him; does anyone even remember? — Does it all cease to be nothing more than forgotten; her grief, her love, Aelin herself; is it any different than if Aelin had drowned in the river?

— This is Celaena’s obsession with being remembered; on the surface it appears shallow, selfish, full of nothing more than pride & arrogance alone; in truth it has more to do with fear (a key point of her character’s driving mindset) & purpose (a key point of humanity/morality).

… How does she make any sense of all she has done & become at Arobynn’s hand; every life she has taken, every terrible thing she has done; if not for him?

And this is why for so long she stays; because she is more afraid of the unknown & so tired of loss; it feels much safer to be known, to know the loss that will come, to hurt with familiar pain, to exist within a tether to his realm; then to feel as if she is risking everything over again.

[thxm8y]

Trying To Convince You To Read A Book Based On It's Aesthetic:

The Assassin and the Desert

( The Assassin's Blade ) - Throne of Glass 0.3

[inlovewithquotes]

“So,” Mikhail said, shattering her thoughts as he pointed a fork at her, “when your master beat the living daylights out of you, did you actually deserve it?”

Ansel shot him a dark look, and Celaena straightened. Even Ilias was now listening, his lovely eyes fixed on her face. But Celaena stared right at Mikhail. “I suppose it depends on who is telling the story.”

Ansel chuckled.

“If Arobynn Hamel is telling the story, then yes, I suppose I did deserve it. I cost him a good deal of money—a kingdom’s worth of riches, probably. I was disobedient and disrespectful, and completely remorseless about what I did.”

She didn’t break her stare, and Mikhail’s smile faltered.

“But if the two hundred slaves that I freed are telling the story, then no, I suppose I didn’t deserve it.”

None of them were smiling anymore. “Holy gods,” Ansel whispered. True silence fell over their table for a few heartbeats.

Celaena resumed eating. She didn’t feel like talking to them after that.

-The Assassin And The Desert

[acourtofquestions]

Also has very Red Desert dance vibes from Celaena with Ansel and the Silent Assassins in The Assassin and the Desert from The Assassin’s Blade

[v4mpfilm]

doodles of these three !!

i’m on the romantic route of the read so i’m currently on the assassin’s blade before i read queen of shadowssssss

I read the assassin and the desert last night and I LOVEDDDD ITTTTT the books been hard to read but this novella omfgggggggg

ANSEL I LOVE UUUU💔💔💔💔

so excited to keep reading

[fantastic-nonsense]

insane how Red Robin is "the loner Tim Drake book" when he had friends and family just popping out of the woodwork like daisies asking him to come home and enjoy hugs like he used to 😭

[pigin-is-so-rad]

A completely normal marriage portrait

[textless]

[ophierian-vp]

[acourtofquestions]

Starting the Assassin’s Blade:

Fully aware that I am going to fall in love with Sam Cortland; enjoy the story & character arc so much that I forget I know the ending… 🚨And then be consequently utterly wrecked when he inevitably dies… yay🤦🏼‍♀️😅🖤☠️.

[aths-art]

Dune Presence Wraith!

My submission for this year's Killer Outfit Contest.

[angeart]

AU Masterpost [tags]

I think it's time. So I can keep track, and you guys know what's out there and how to search for it <3 Bear in mind that some AUs are more like concepts and might only have a single thought/art underneath their tag, but there might be more added to them in the future. If you're curious about anything, you can always ask! (I'm very easily convinced to drop rambles, as has been proven in the past—)

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Help Me To Breathe [hmtb]

my main multi-chapter story, set in s8 boatem. deaths abruptly hurt on hermitcraft, and each respawn makes it worse. scar dies a lot by grian's hands, before grian even learns (the hard way) that things hurt now. welcome to a scarian angst hellhole where 3rd life flashbacks hit like bricks and guilt is mercilessly spilled everywhere <3

this fic is the epitome of it gets worse before it gets better. trust me.

cws: violence, ptsd, anxiety attacks, delusions, unhealthy coping mechanisms, suicidal ideation, suicide, temporary character death... please check tags on AO3 which i try very hard to keep updated

tags: #hmtb - an all-encompassing tag for fic updates, rambles, and art. (sometimes #hmtb art is also used in tandem, where relevant.)

fic: Help Me To Breathe on AO3

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Hunted hybrids [hhau]

hermitcraft s8 got code-attacked and all the hermits got scattered into different worlds, lost and stuck in unfamiliar places, not knowing if their home still exists. the au follows scar and grian who ended up in the same world (although originally unaware)—a world dangerous and hostile to hybrids. grian is an avian, scar is a vex, and they're hunted relentlessly. also, it's permadeath <3

this au is self-indulgently used in RP and co-owned by linkito

cws: violence, blood, dehumanisation of hybrids, self harm (feather plucking), mentions of suicidal ideation... [updated cws in the hhau masterpost]

tags: #hhau

this one got out of hand so >> hhau masterpost <<

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Boatem circus

scar, a sea-lion hybrid, builds a circus as a safe haven for all the hybrids and misfits that have nowhere to belong and need a place to heal. they all carry their own traumas and wounds, and scar gives them what they never had: gentleness and options and freedom to roam or leave. but it's not easy, navigating a growing community of varying triggers and buried pasts.

au put together with stiffyck

cws: ptsd, panic attacks, fear of fire, loss and grief, mentions of captivity/torture/abuse

tags: #boatem circus au

fics: don't be afraid, little bird (there are no cages around you now) —&— elegy

[AO3 series link]

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Sleep demon Grian

grian is a sleep demon, existing in the dreamscape, able to manipulate dreams and thriving on giving people nightmares. he meets scar in a dream, immediately intrigued and amused by his reactions, and he keeps coming back to him. scar, despite all the nightmares being thrown at him, catches a glimpse of his perpetrator, and grows curious in turn. they start talking, everything eventually culminating into a ritual and a summonning circle. grian, in the waking world, needs to learn how to exist somewhere where he can get actually hurt, and come to terms with the fact that he has locked away memories and trauma.

cws: injuries, fear, panic, nightmares(?), trauma, violence, memory repression

tags: #sleep demon grian au

au rambles: here

fics: the nightmare snippet —&— even if it hurts (and even if it isn't a dream) you can have a home here

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Cursed forest

found family boatem, where each of them carry their own heavy past and an attached curse. they thought they'd never find a place to settle that'd accept them and let them heal. but they found each other, deep in a hidden away forest, littered by bones and flowers, death and hope. (honestly, just see the au rambles.)

au put together with stiffyck

cws: animal death, necromancy, grief and guilt, body horror

tags: #cursed forest au

rambles: here

fics: even with death haunting your footsteps, your flowers will bloom again

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Spill my blood AU

grian and scar have known each other before the world fell apart. they were equal parts aquaintances and something much deeper—allowed to be close during the most vulnerable, raw moments, yet never orbiting too close outside of them. 

grian used to be in a bad relationship, and scar at the time just happened to be the roommate of grian’s best friend, mumbo. that is, until a too-close call forced mumbo and scar to finally save grian out of that situation for good, and then, only a couple days later, before things even had time to fully settle, scar—freshly turned into a vampire by a desperate third party, and too terrified of losing control and hurting those he loves—had no choice but to leave, abandoning them in the aftermath. 

now, years later, they run into each other and reunite in the apocalypse, both them and the world forever changed.

au put together with plantie for our rp. 

title based on our working doc title spill my blood at the end of the world

cws: mentions of abuse, unhealthy relationship, violence, dark thoughts, trauma, breakdowns, dissociation, panic attacks, suicidal ideation, blood, general vampire stuff, being turned into a monster, fear of loss of control, rot and decay of a mycelium apocalypse, zombie thematics, hybrid dehumanisation, mentions of trafficking and experimentation, post apocalypse survival, hallucinations, sickness

tags: #spill my blood au

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Snowbird AU

hybrids don’t have a place in civilised society, seen as too animalistic, the line between human and wildlife too blurry for them to be accepted. they’re rare, hiding away and living off on their own in their little communes, keeping to themselves.  

one winter, grian’s all alone, struggling to survive. as a migratory species, he wasn’t meant to stay. he wasn’t meant to be alone. he doesn’t really know how to build a nest that the snow wouldn’t destroy. isn’t sure how to stay warm, or which direction he’s meant to go. he gets caught in a snowstorm that blows him, tired and cold and wounded, to the edge of scar’s backyard.

scar is a zookeeper. he knows a lot about animals, but next to nothing about hybrids. he never expected to come face-to-face with one… much less one hurt and scared and in distress. as he coaxes the avian to let him help, his mind is spinning wondering if bird wing injuries and avian wing injuries should be treated the same, and what is he going to do? 

scar ends up bringing grian to his house, putting him in his bed, warm and soft and safe. grian’s never been in a place like this, bright and walled and— heated. and he was told his whole life to steer clear of humans, but scar doesn’t seem like he wants to hurt him, and oh, grian’s never felt so cozy. maybe it’d be okay to let scar help? maybe it’d be okay to stay for a little bit? (after all, the outside is so cold—)

they’re both in an unfamiliar situation, but maybe… maybe they’ll both come out of it with far more than they expected.

au put together with lyrai

cws: injuries, sickness, grief, dehumanisation of hybrids, kidnapping, claustrophobia, wing clipping, distress of being grounded, panic attacks, fear of touch

tags: #snowbird au

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Ari AU

grian (he/she) is ariana griande (ari), a famous singer beloved by the crowds. except things start getting a bit too out of hand. there are stalkers and people who think they have the right to ari's personal life, the right to see and dictate everything. the press gets out of hand. maybe the crowds get too rowdy. maybe—

more scared and overwhelmed by the second, grian gets a bodyguard. that bodyguard is scar. things continue to escalate though, and by the time ari calls a break in her career, everything's irreparably breaking down around her.

(If it wasn't clear yet, this is one very dark, very heavy, very human story. There's love and so, so, so much despair. Things go wrong and then worse.)

au with ben

cws: papparazzi hounding, stalkers, lack of privacy, blurring of self, drugging and [attempted] SA, physical assaults, self harm, overdose, medical trauma, restraints, seizures, ptsd, depression, suicidal stuff (including several attempts)

tags: #ari au

au rambles: [part I] - [part II] - [part III] - [part IV] - [part V] - [TBC]

au art:

downfall in three stages - here lake scene art - here

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Murder cannibal AU

… or the fucked up one where grian has a silly crush on scar and scar takes him camping. he’s showing grian how to hunt—a concept grian’s uneasy about, but scar’s so close, guiding his hand, so it’s totally worth it—when they get ambushed by a group of campers. they attack without hesitation, and while grian’s stunned and confused and scared, scar lifts his hunting rifle and shoots without as much as a flinch.

three bodies later, scar reveals that they were probably upset about "what scar’s done to their friend". and through the shock, things start clicking in grian’s head. oh. oh. he— he needs to run. he feels the eyes on him, feels the gun that’s surely pointing at his back now. scar’s just killed people and seems wholly unbothered. bile rises in grian’s throat together with terror and his body moves, scrambling to get away.

scar moves after him with ease, and after a bit of a chase, shoots grian’s ankle. he brings him into an isolated cabin deep in the woods, tying him up but also fixing up his injuries. grian’s terrified, and as days progress, scar nonchalantly lets him witness more death as he brings in people—sometimes still alive—to butcher up for food, staining the cabin’s floorboard with blood.

and somewhere along the lines, something in grian caves and gives in to this new messed up reality he’s been thrown into.

au put together with ben

cws: kidnapping, murder, all forms of violence, gore, cannibalism, a really fucked up cast of characters, mutilation, self mutilation, mind breaking, torture, major character death, fucked up concepts of love

tags: #murder cannibal au

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Assassin AU

grian is an assassin, scar is elven nobility. one day, grian is sent to kill scar, which seems a simple enough job. except when they meet, they find that they actually know each other—they've met when they were kids and quickly became unlikely friends, with scar giving away a magical amulet to grian as a gift. (an amulet he still has.) scar was eventually found (turns out he was a noble runaway/lost kid) and dragged away, and grian never found out who he truly was or what happened to him and why he disappeared.

... until now.

now scar's life is at the tip of grian's blade, and grian finds himself conflicted, unwilling to kill the one person he's ever managed to connect with (even if it was years ago, and they've both changed beyond repair since). but grian knows that if he won't finish this job, someone else will.

so on an insane impulse, grian does the desperate thing and whisks scar away, uprooting both of their lives and exchanging everything they've known for a ragged life on the run.

except turns out, there's a reason why people want scar dead, and they're not going to give up the pursuit.

cws: blood and violence, mind control, being generally oblivious about life, survival scenario, murder, possible animal death

tags: #assassin au

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Misguided Heroes

scar is secretly hotguy, a hero meant to protect the people. grian is a shopkeeper at barge, but with self-proclaimed king ren wreaking havoc on economy and making life of ordinary citizens so much harder, he decides to secretly play vigilante, cuteguy, and stage a one-man rebellion.

also, scar and grian are roommates.

au with sima

cws: injuries, illusions messing with perception/reality, [to be determined]

tags: #misguided heroes au

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Grumbo apocalypse AU [monster horror AU]

mumbo wakes up to the world as he knows it gone. no more point to a routine office job, no more awkward neighbourly smalltalks, no more tired grocery shop runs. instead, the sky is bright white, the sun is black, weird glitchy reality rifts open up around, and death lurks in every shadow. amidst it all, the city is overrun by various monsters that shift and change and screech, killing off anything that moves.

when eventually one of them breaks into mumbo’s apartment, he does not move a muscle, completely freezing on the spot. it’s his lack of panicked movements that saves him in the end. 

the creature that’s crouched down in front of him, looking at him curiously, is grian. he’s existed long before the apocalypse, but the nature of this doom has scrambled some instincts and control, pushing his kind into a more aggressive, feral state. they’re shapeshifters, in the most literal sense of the word—their bodies are not a constant, instead a horrory amalgamation of various, ever-shifting things, squelching and skittering. 

oh, and they steal and mimic people’s voices; the captured and reproduced sounds are grian’s only method at human communication at the very start. (it’s mostly death screams. there’s not a lot of chatter when people see them in the apocalypse—)

mumbo somehow finds himself still alive after this encounter, and grian decides to be very protective over his new friend in the hostile world. they struggle to navigate not only the new landscape of the apocalypse, but also each other and themselves. 

au put together with ben

cws: apocalypse, body horror, identity issues, end of the world feelings, monsters, fear, nightmares, communication issues, mentions of death, violence, killer instincts, horror vibes

tags: #grumbo apocalypse monster au

ben’s masterpost: here

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Ghost Scar AU

grian is a paranormal investigator. scar is a ghost. they meet, they talk, and grian resolves to do his best to make scar feel less lonely.

cws: dead character??? he's a ghost dw he's fine-

tags: #ghost scar au

fics: you exist in silence (i'll help you make a sound)

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Silly vampire Scar

scar is a vampire living in a mansion too big and too lonely for him. grian and mumbo are survivors in a world riddled with monsters, which they learn to hunt and kill. one night, they seek shelter in what seems to be an abandoned mansion, only to find out there is a sole occupant in it: a strange, chippery vampire who's keen on keeping them there.

cws: general vampire and monster stuff, [to be determined]

tags: #vampire scar au

fics: [one day]

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Cuteguy AU

scar is hotguy, grian is his sidekick cutecuy. one day, things go wrong and a building explodes with scar still inside. the body is never found. hotguy is presumed dead. that is, until cuteguy comes face to face with a new villain that is oddly familiar—

idea loosely bounced off of stiffy's TOGH au

cws: blood, violence, delusions, brainwashing, grief, loss of identity, presumed major character's death (twice. wild. huh.)

tags: #cuteguy au

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Hybrid farms AU [respawn version]

with food growing scarce, hybrids have been separated from society, rounded up, and put into farms. they’re kept captive in inhumane conditions, slaughtered over and over again (thanks to respawn mechanics) to feed the general populace. 

grian was born in captivity, but briefly tasted the outside life in his teens, meeting mumbo. he was promised there’s a place he can be safe, but before mumbo could deliver on his promises, grian was recaptured and plunged back into the circle of tight spaces, pain, and death.

eventually, he manages to escape and makes it to hermitcraft, where he clingily attaches himself to mumbo. and then he meets scar… 

au put together with ben

cws: dehumanisation of hybrids, slaughter, captivity, repeated death, cannibalism, trauma 

tags: [none so far; this lives in our DMs]

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Vex Hunger AU [kidnapping/griangst AU]

grian (avian) and cub (vex) get kidnapped and shoved in a little cell. they’re cherry picked for their hybridity, used without consent by unethical researchers who are eager to prove that vex hybrids should be given mob status rather than a player status. the method is simple: provide avian-suitable food, but nothing for the vex to eat, and wait until he starves enough to go feral, proving vexes are dangerous.

with respawns anchored in their little cell, they don’t have a choice on what happens next. 

they are eventually found and rescued by the hermitcraft crew, but not before the awful unstoppable circle repeats over and over again; they’re found huddled up on opposite ends of the cell, dried blood and viscera splattered in between them. 

the path to healing afterwards is rocky and sometimes it feels insurmountable.

au put together with ben

cws: kidnapping, captivity, hybrid dehumanisation, starvation, assault, panic, cannibalism, gore and death, self hate, loss of control, Trauma™, bad coping mechanisms, self destructive tendencies 

tags: [none so far; this lives in our DMs]

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Dancing zombies AU [zombie whisperer scar AU]

it’s zombie apocalypse and grian, scar, and mumbo build themselves a little settlement, each of them playing a different pivotal role. mumbo’s in charge of security, defenses, and traps; grian’s in charge of building, scouting, and venturing out for resources; scar’s in charge of building upkeep, landscaping, animal keeping, and meals.

everything seems normal for a while, except… turns out, scar can talk to zombies. 

(and turns out, they listen.)

… this au involves grian’s fear (and distrust) of zombies, silly scams, zombie intel, misunderstandings, flowercrowns, dancing, scar building an amusement park full of zombie cast, and a death moat full of zombies that makes both grian and scar uncomfortable for different reasons

cws: zombie apocalypse, general zombie gore, panic attacks, assaults, survival scenario

tags: [none so far]

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Papers please AU

what it says on the tin. scar lives with his cat jellie in a cold, small, state-provided apartment and gets assigned a job as an immigration officer at a border checkpoint. he... isn't great at the job, but doesn't have a choice, and needs the money to keep them fed and healthy. grian is the head of resistance, because of course he is <3

cws: dystopian world, cold, hunger, sickness, potential pet death, injuries

tags: #papers please au

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Spirit AU

grian is an avian living freely in a patch of forest. that is, until he gets caught by people who think hybrids are on-par with working animals, and is shackled and hurt and trained, to serve. there is a looming war, and flight-capable carriers are very valued (but not much cared for). scar is a vex hybrid, coming from a settlement that's kinder to hybrids, who also gets captured. they meet in captivity, and things happen.

cws: hybrid slavery, hybrid dehumanisation, loss of freedom, abuse, warzone stuff

tags: #spirit au

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DL rp AU

grian and scar in double life, soulbound and with vague memories of previous life games. their soul connection transfers not only all the pain and injuries, but also emotions. and they both feel. a little too much. (they're a mess, but also in love, as they should be)

au for rp with sima

cws: they very sad; self destructive tendencies (sorry there's no self in this one, they are linked and there's always collateral-)

tags: #dl rp

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Half sea town AU

a town half-submerged into the sea. the upper half is reserved for humans, who are seen as better, richer, the posh and the nobility. the lower half, the submerged part, is slum-like, reserved for seafolk, seen as lesser. many seafolk learn to live on land, to improve their standing (not necessarily living situation; they do need water). mumbo lives amongst the nobility. scar lived his whole life in the sea. grian, even though he belongs to the seafolk, lives on land. mumbo's best friend, forever trying to be something he isn't.

a crackers collective au

cws: er.. class divide?, self worth issues, needs denial in a way?

tags: #half sea town au

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The underwater AU that somehow fails to have a name the first thing i ever posted on tumblr woo.

an underwater au set somewhere in the wide, deep sea. merfolks. mumbo is a prince, grian, jimmy, and joel are his guards. scar is a deep-sea fish, and tales say those are scary and horrendous and dangerous. (he's just a silly guy, pls)

stiffy/crackers collective au

cws: injuries, idk

tags: #mer au

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smaller aus/ideas:

last life scar: #post-ll scar's issues with touch

fixing double life scarian: #fixing dl au

puppeteer scar: #puppeteer scar au

cannibal scar/forest (the game) au: #forest au

life games king au: not on tumblr but i should tell u about it one day

...and more

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some other aus that i have yoinked and might have content for:

#space grian au - another au that belongs to ben. also burrowed my way in to this one. hehe. (ben none of your aus are now safe from me.)

#snifflins au - crackers group au, based on that one time jimmy and scar were piglinmynose, and joel and grian were sniffermyfeet - twisted into snifflers and piglin hybrids (snifflins!) in the aftermath, trying to get used to their new bodies and instincts and needs.

#desert alien scar au - belongs to stiffy

+ a whole bunch of others <3

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(if i missed any cws for any of the aus, please let me know!)

reinstating that if you're curious about anything, i don't bite! come ask!

[my AO3]

[hellagator]

Starlight assassin (Commission 2024).

[galasgamingcorner]

AC Origins Scenery | The White Desert

[martyrmarked]

there should have been at least 2+ assassination attempts on the inquisitor

[aiisstuffnthings]

With the World at Your Feet