#That one day they’ll get deleted
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yea
other people do that thing where u keep a list of all the books movies shows short stories comics graphic novels podcasts radio dramas and articles *inhales deeply* that you've consumed and enjoyed enough to want to be able to one day find again, right? like that is just standard practice...
#I have an entire email account dedicated to copypasting my favorite fanfiction into google documents because I’m scared#That one day they’ll get deleted#And i also have a big long list on another google doc listing all the fanfics by tropes and fandoms#I won’t ever repost any of these btw#I just like having them for just in case#I also have a google doc set up with links to every pirating website that I can trust to watch anime on#And then I have a list of all the anime’s I’ve watched#In order from most recent to least recent#I do this with other things but the anime thing and the fanfic thing is the most obvious probably#I also have a google drive folder exclusively for downloading fanart#Which again#I will never repost anywhere#I just like having access to all of it at once#There have been times when I forget to add things to it and im SO SAD#because I really wanted to look at a specific piece of art or whatever#Anyways
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Porfiry telling Raskolnikov that at least he was honest and in one bound took the furthest leap to put his theory to the test of actual action——
#Taylor believing a man who is obviously lying to her#like. it’s fascinating to me how they’ll say anything to her and she’ll be like ‘okay let’s go’#she’s never read Jane Austen and it shows. but that’s okay because she’s the character in an Austen novel#she has no sense of self-preservation she has no common sense when it comes to love#and the reason I have endless patience for that is because she IS different. she is extraordinary. she is WEIRD. she’s so needy#so angry so fragile so stupid so brilliant so completely helpless#like the bolter———I can’t even LOOK at it right now#because you know she was like this since she was 5 and SHE knows it#just so. Different. so strange. I mean she ruled her family with an iron fist from the age of 11#and her packaging is so basic and she she had so much access to everything anyone could want#so there are none of the usual marks of someone being so Different#but like. people HATED her from day one. you know her own strength of personality was drawing out many people’s hatred or envy#and she’s so helpless in her own personality because she can never change#like thank you aimee? or whatever? heck yeah there was some girl who bullied her and brutalized her on the playground#and you know it devastated Taylor from day one and still does#and it’s just. I don’t know how people can’t see that someone with that extraordinary set of gifts#wouldn’t also suffer in such an extraordinary way#and ways that elicit so much scorn and non-sympathy because people are unsettled and jealous and annoyed by her#because she WILL find a way to win#but isn’t that proof enough that she is the very OPPOSITE OF NORMAL#it’s why people have to be like ‘oh she sold her soul to the devil for this success.’ or whatever the psy-op spy thing is#because there’s no human way to explain her success if she really were as basic/talentless as people say#ugh this is all so incoherent and irritating and I’m so sorry but I just. I cannot explain how protective my heart is of her#and all the many many mistakes she’s made and the prisons she’s made for herself because she’s LIVING the tragedy#of never having denied herself one time/getting everything she wants#and discovering the poison at the bottom of everything she reached for with desperate hands#like. I love her so much and I am so protective of her because she is so helpless and she is getting shot in the face every time#and she feels every blow!#whew I need to turn off reblogs and will probably delete but I just#this album is all of her spilled out and people DO hate to see it because a lot of people hate her!!!!
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#very personal rant time#probably deleting this when i wake up#also to preface#tw self harm and scars#so next monday its gonna be 6 years of me being clean#which is an insane thing to think about#and i’m so happy about this#but at the same time everytime the anniversary comes around i get a lot into my head#and one thing in particular that bothers me (if bother is the right word)#is that my scars are basically all faded and you can’t see them anymore#and in my head my brain goes to oh so why are you celebrating something you can almost not see anymore#which is so dumb and i know it is but it’s how i feel#and in the last couple of days my brain has been a little filled with not so happy thoughts#which is not new#but at the same time i thought that after a while they would just go away for good#but i believe they’ll always just linger in some corner of my mind#which is not something i’m very happy about#so yeah i’m sorry#this was just a little rant#putting my thoughts down is something that makes me understand them better#that’s why i did this#okay goodnight all love ya
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Ageist kids ;_;
everytime i have to do taxes i think about that tweet from some 14 yr old being like why are adults even in fandom dont you guys have taxes to do
and its humiliating
#just kidding#life is real#age is just a number#one day they’ll get it#life is too short#one day I’ll delete my accounts so my kid won’t find out#or just pray they can have some sympathy for me
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it’s october 7th. you hear about the attack by seeing people you followed glorifying the terrorist attack—a massacre, a pogrom—as victory & justified resistance, glorifying a terrorist group that was founded with the explicit intent to kill your entire people
you make a post in which you make it clear you support palestinians and oppose the ways israel has wronged them, explaining that the terrorist group is still not good. you know you will probably get some flacc from the pro-Hamas side, but naively underestimate how much.
you get thousands of notifications on that one post, the majority of them hateful comments.
some of the response is positive. multiple messages thank you for the post, expressing bafflement that it’s controversial.
a few Israelis are upset at the loaded language in your post, but explain their problems with it civilly. you called Israel “apartheid”. they ask you what apartheid laws Israel has. you admit you honestly don’t know.
your inbox is flooded with anonymous hate from anti-Israel leftists.
over the course of a few weeks you have received hundreds of death threats, a dozen rape threats. people accuse you of being pro-genocide. you’re a literal Nazi. you’re racist, you thirst for the blood of Palestinians. you’re brainwashed by propaganda, a shill for The Zionist Entity. a few of the hate messages are from literal Neo-Nazis; the overwhelming majority are from leftists, many of them queer.
you are considering suicide.
you see footage of the october 7th attacks. you see footage of the bombings in gaza. you see footage of a Jewish man being murdered at an anti-Israel rally.
a popular creator you follow posts in support of an antisemitic hate group that masquerades as a Jewish organization. this organization regularly posts blood libel and other antisemitic rhetoric, works with groups that are even more explicitly antisemitic, including celebrating October 7th, holocaust inversion, blood libel, “Khazar theory” and others. more than one of the orgs they work with is pro-Putin.
your former roommate liked the post.
graffiti appears on a street you frequent that says “#freepalestine” and “end settler colonialism”
the boyfriend of the friend you spent most of the summer with makes his first post about the war. it’s a reposted comic that mocks and downplays the october 7th attack.
you doubt he’ll be receptive to criticism. he’s shared leftist memes about “monied elites” pulling all the strings and evangelicals being modern day “pharisees” in the past, and getting him to understand why that was antisemitic was like herding cats. you try anyway.
another of his Jewish friends also pushes back. he smugly dismisses her, tells her she’s falling for Zionist propaganda and uses several antisemitic tropes. you go off on him. he just deletes your comment.
you give up. you’re done. you block him.
you see anti-Israel posters and billboards around town
you mention what happened with the guy you went off on to his girlfriend—the friend you’ve grown very close to, who you’ve been listening to as she unburdens her fears for the future and complains about her bf’s BS over the last year. she doesn’t respond to you.
a friend of a friend shares posts tokenizing fringe groups that spread blood libel and have collaborated with holocaust deniers. you know they don’t know what you know, so you explain what those groups are. they seem somewhat receptive, apologize, and take it down
the next day they share several more posts that dip into antisemitic tropes. you mention this to your mutual friend, that you’re worried about them being radicalized. you’re not sure how receptive they’ll be to continued criticism
you have a confrontation with the foaf. in the meantime they’ve shared even more antisemitic posts. they say they didn’t mean to cause you distress but instead of stopping they effectively block you.
the “end settler colonialism” vandalism has been counter-vandalized with the words “commie propaganda” in place of “settler colonialism”. you don’t know if this is an improvement.
a month passes. the friend whose bf you went off on still hasn’t spoken to you. you see she shared a post defending an SJP chapter that posted Nazi cartoon caricatures of Jews repurposed in “Anti-Zionist” memes. you unfriend her on all social media platforms but you can’t bring yourself to block her number.
you see a friend of someone whose couch you surfed when you were homeless harassing Jewish celebrities with “Free Palestine” comments. you block them.
you’ve lost count of how many people you’ve unfollowed or blocked, or who’ve blocked you. friends, content creators.
when a friend takes an unusually long time to respond you worry if it’s because of your posts about antisemitism.
most of the podcasts, youtube channels, and other content creators you regularly engaged with no longer feel safe. you wonder who will be next
a couple friends wish you a happy hanukkah. you don’t celebrate much aside from lighting the hanukkiah and making some latkes.
you see posts about a destroyed chabad menorah, antisemitic comments on Jewish celebrities’ Hanukkah posts.
your neighborhood is covered in pro-Palestine & anti-Israel posters. some are seemingly innocuous, some are JVP “not in our name” posters. some call for intifada. “globalize the intifada” “Zionists fuck off!” “solidarity means attack!”
a man kills himself shouting “free palestine”. you learn about his suicide by seeing posts from several popular accounts you followed glorifying it.
you follow a bunch of jewish accounts on social media and commiserate with them about everything happening
your jewish friends post screenshots of the dead man’s antisemitic, pro-Hamas views. you look at his reddit and find even more horrific shit: anti-Ukraine posts. mocking Zelensky. “elites” are “lizard people”; the only named individual he calls a lizard person is Jewish. you start to notice a pattern: a lot of the people he dislikes just so happen to be jews.
several people you know share a post glorifying this man’s suicide. most are acquaintances, one is someone incredibly important to you.
you wonder how they would respond to your suicide.
you tell the close friend that shared this post how it scares you. you show them the receipts of the man’s antisemitism. their response is a single sentence. they didn’t know about the antisemitism.
they don’t apologize.
you notice none of your irl friends, even your closest ones, interact with your posts about antisemitism. you are able to vent to a couple friends, but no one has reach out to you
you try not to read into it. you try not to take it personally.
you haven’t slept well in months. you’ve always been an insomniac but not like this. you’re not sleeping until 4am, 6am, even 9am. even when you get to bed at a decent hour and get a full night’s rest it takes you hours to get out of bed.
a few weeks go by. the friend with the single sentence response shares a post saying they’re excited and proud to join a group to help palestinians. you’re excited and proud for them.
a couple days later, they share a post about a fundraiser to help a palestinian family get out of gaza. you note to yourself this is a much more effective & less concerning form of activism than the pro-suicidal antisemite post.
your friend shares another post about the fundraiser. it’s a joint post between their group and another group.
you open the other group’s page
the page is just a wall of signs from rallies. you swipe through one after another: “from the river to the sea”, “by any means necessary”, justifying/denying the atrocities of october 7th, calling for violent revolution. anything done in the name of resistance can’t be terrorism, all Israelis are terrorists. Jews aren’t indigenous; they’re white colonizers. holocaust inversion. other vile, thinly veiled violent rhetoric
you feel sick to your stomach imagining talking to your friend about it.
you already feel like you’re burdening the few friends you can talk to about this. you already feel like you think about it too much, talk about it too much. but you can’t not think about it; it affects every aspect of your life.
you’ve filtered out relevant keywords on more than one social media site to avoid the worst of it. some still manages to leak through.
there isn’t a single friend you regularly interact with that you don’t fear the moment when they will switch from listening to your concerns to seeing you as the evil zionist or indoctrinated hasbaranik they’ve been warned about.
it’s not an irrational fear. it keeps happening. you knew it would then, and you were powerless to do anything about it before, and you continue to be as it happens again and again.
you don’t know what to do about any of it.
#idk just kinda wanted to document what this has been like all back to back#I know some of these on their own might come across as not that big of a deal but all together#they add up#tw for the all of it#cw trauma dump#antisemitism#i/p#tw suicide#tw suicidal ideation#tw death threats#tw rape threats#tw october 7th#tw terrorism
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oh, how i love you (yandere! stellaron hunters)
cw: all characters separate, spoilers for penacony quest, violence, yandere, stalking, obsession
currently listening to -> shut up, we don’t care - syris
KAFKA •
her love is something violent and horrific hidden behind a pretty mask. she knows she’s a beautiful woman, but she’s already got such a large bounty over her head that it barely matters to her anymore. what’s just one more kill to bring you closer to her? she’s a traditional type of yandere, obsessing over even the smallest detail related to you, memorizing everything from the exact tone of your hair and skin to every single reaction you’ve had to everything she’s ever said or done. everything you like or dislike, she has it memorized. she’d send gifts to your location, though deranged in nature. she’d send you severed and bloody, half rotted limbs torn from her victims with hearts carved in them and your initials together. she knows she’s dangerous, as if the multiple guns and katana she keeps on her person at all times wasn’t enough of an indicator of that. anyone she wants erased from the equation will be gone in an instant, and she would only hesitate for a second to betray her comrades for your sake.
BLADE •
oh, bladie. oh dear, sweet, bladie. how can someone possibly be even more violent than kafka? well, blade doesn’t even try to hide it. he relishes the fact that you’re scared of him, half the time he smiles at all is the deranged giggle he lets out as blood splatters all over his body and clothes. it would clot in his long hair, and he wouldn’t even bother to wash it out until it begins to rot. he doesn’t want to gross you out, just to remind you that you belong to HIM. someone talks to you for even just a little too long, they’ll be gone before the end of the day. he doesn’t enjoy killing in front of you, he doesn’t want his poor baby to see how violent he can get, but he at the very least implies such violent acts of love and passion to you with the blood on him. he’s a stoic man, but he still manages to smile every time he ends another life out of passion for you. he can’t die, so it’s not like it matters if you try to fight back. he will always be back, and you just can’t run from him.
SILVER WOLF •
she chooses the stalker, parasocial route. seeing as she’s a hacker who just views life as a game, this is no different. how much of your affection can she win? how long until you block one of her accounts, and how long until she just begins to stalk you from another one instead? everything from your social media accounts to your damn search history, she has access to it all, so don’t try posting for help because she’ll just delete it. you don’t know how she does it, every time you deactivate an account and make a new one to make it harder for her to find you, she always does. she’s saved all the pictures you post, hell, she’s even made alternate personas just to talk to you sometimes. it’s creepy. she gave up the act of pretending she didn’t always want to see you on her timeline pretty quickly when she realized her obsession with you.
FIREFLY •
to die three deaths is nothing compared to seeing you with someone who isn’t her. never again would she allow herself to be far from you, always only feet behind you in crowds even if you didn’t see her. if someone dares even look at you the wrong way, they can say goodbye to their life in a matter of seconds. such a sweet and innocent girl, never failing to keep her darling close no matter the consequence. don’t you understand, it’s only because she adores you with all she has. her fellow stellaron hunters will simply excuse her actions, chalking it up to a show of affection. once she has you in her arms, she is NEVER letting go. even if she has to be forceful with it, anything for you. absolutely anything. she would never reveal her true identity as a mech-girl to you, because that would only complicate things. as far as you know, your girlfriend is the only one around anymore because all your loved ones seem to just disappear after you talk to them.
#mafu.fic#honkai star rail#hsr x reader#cw yandere#hsr x you#tw yandere#yandere x reader#yandere x you#yandere hsr#yandere hsr x reader#stellaron hunters#kafka x reader#kafka x you#yandere kafka#yandere honkai star rail#yandere blade#yandere blade x reader#blade x reader#blade x you#yandere silver wolf#silver wolf x reader#yandere firefly#firefly x reader#woah i finally wrote smth
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House of the Dragon characters with a s/o that hates Targaryens
Warnings: Yandere behavior, violating boundaries, mentions of bullying
Rhaenyra and Daemon Targaryen:
Daemon and Rhaenyra take great pride in their Valyrian roots, so they get considerably annoyed whenever you complain about Targaryens and their traditions (Daemon more so).
Though they understand why, they will still try to get you to fall in love with their Targaryen heritage and traditions.
Rhaenyra and Daemon will take you on dragon rides, read you stories about their ancestors, and Daemon may sing to you in Valyrian. Though Daemon will only get to hum a song to you on days you are considerably more tired and can’t bring yourself to argue with them.
If you still continue to reject them, they’ll just have to take full control of the situation and disregard your wants.
They’ll send a letter to your mother and father, saying that they want your hand in marriage, and what fool would reject such a proposal from the Queen and Prince Consort?
Aegon Targaryen:
Aegon enjoys the luxuries that come with being a Targaryen prince, but he hates a few of the things that come with it; like the expectations, and being forced to marry Helaena.
Many other Lords and Ladies have tried getting on his “good” side because of his status, but not you. You avoid him whenever he is near, and have told him (as nicely as you possibly could) that you’re not a fan of him or his family.
Aegon finds this much too entertaining, and will try to seduce you into forgetting your “vow” of never getting into a relationship with a Targaryen.
Aemond Targaryen:
Aemond is desperate to be accepted by you. Though he is a Targaryen, you have never failed to show him respect even though you are not a fan of his family.
Other people have made fun of him for not claiming a dragon, or for only having one eye, but you haven’t.
Though Aemond won’t give up his full interest in his Targaryen ancestry, he will tone it down when around you, and will hope that would be enough for him to be an exception for your hate for Targaryens.
Aemond can’t change the fact that he's a Targaryen, just like how he can’t change the fact he has one eye, but he hopes you will love him like you would any other man.
A/N: this was requested but I accidently deleted the ask😭😭
#aemond targaryen x reader#aemond targaryen#aemond targaryen x y/n#aegon targaryen x reader#aegon ii targaryen x reader#aegon targaryen#aegon targaryen x y/n#rhaenyra targaryen x reader#rhaenyra targaryen x y/n#Rhaenyra targaryen#daemyra x reader#daemon targaryen x reader#daemon targaryen x y/n#daemon targaryen#hotd#hotd x reader#hotd x y/n#house of the dragon#house of the dragon x reader
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“Uninspired”
Glen Powell x Reader
Summary: You’re a writer who’s feeling uninspired, and when Glen notices your frustration, he tries to help. 
“What’s bothering you?”
You blink shaking your head to try and make the blank thoughts go away. “What?”
Your boyfriend smiles, caressing your cheek with his thumb. “What bothering you? And before you say nothing, I saw the thinking face you were making.”
You’ve been staring at your laptop screen and frowning because you just couldn’t think. Every time you type something, you delete everything and then stare blankly at your laptop screen.
“Nothing,” You sigh, closing your laptop.
“Come here.”
You stand from the kitchen table, walking to where Glen stands by the kitchen island before being pulled into his strong arms.
His scent plus the warmth coming from his chest makes you sink deeper into him, allowing yourself to lean into his body. You feel one hand slip into your hair, softly rubbing your scalp; the other rubbing small circles on your back.
When you sigh in content, he asks, “So what was bothering you?”
“I can’t think,” you tell him. “Every time I try to write something, I feel like it’s terrible or it’s complete shit and I end up deleting it. It’s starting to piss me off because every time I want to write what I feel is a good line, I reread it and it’s terrible.”
“Would you like me to look at it?”
“No,” you sigh. “I think I just need a break. I’ve been there for a good half of my day.”
“Have you eaten?” He asks, pulling you back a bit.
“No.” As if on cue, your stomach grumbles loudly making him chuckle.
“Let’s get some food in your stomach and talk about it.”
~*~*~*~
After eating, Glen sits you down at the island and opens your laptop again.
“So let’s talk about where you’re stuck at. What’s going on in the story?”
“The two main characters just got back together after she thought that he was cheating on her even though they’re not actually dating.” When he gives you a look of confusion you add, “They’re fake dating to keep their exes away.”
“Okay gotcha,” he nods. “So what do you want to happen right about now?”
“I want to write some cute romantic stuff that they’ll go through since they’re newly together for real,” You start. “What I’m getting stuck on is how they should be acting. Because they’re supposed to be going to some party together, but I just keep blanking every time I try to add any sort of fluff.”
“Think of how we are, or should I say how we were, when we started dating.” And he sees that you’re starting to think he adds, “Now think of how handy we were. Think of how much I did not want to let you go anywhere alone.”
You smile, remembering how clingy and loving he was, and still is.
“You got it?” He asks, a smile forming on his lips.
“I do actually. Thank you, baby.” You kiss his cheek before turning to your laptop and beginning to type out the next scene for your book. When you feel his lips on your temple, you smile before facing him and puckering your lips.
“Thank you.”
“I’ll always be here to help.”
You smile sweetly before waving him off. “Now, shoo so I can continue writing. I’ll come get you in a little bit.”
He only chuckles before raising his hands in surrender. “Yes ma’am.”
Something sweet and simple because I’ve been uninspired and I needed to have a peptalk from Glen( aka myself 😂)
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Johnny Suh
(aged up) Alpha Johnny x Omega Reader
Synopsis:
Falling for an older man is still considered acceptable in today’s society, but falling for someone who’s taken, by your own mother even, is never the cliche stories you commonly hear. You thought your little crush for your mother’s fiance was going to go away naturally, that they’ll get married and break your heart to pieces and you’d be able to move on, what you hadn’t expected was for them to break up and it was partially your fault. And when he moved away, you’d thought you'd never see him again, but your job brings you back to that sweet cinnamon scented alpha once again.
warnings: aboverse, daddy kink, breeding kink, overstimulation, unprotected sex, heats, ruts, knotting, minor angst, the mother in this story is a narcissist, absent father, fainting (briefly).
DON’T LIKE, DON’T READ, JUST SCROLL, HATE COMMENTS AND ASKS WOULD BE DELETED AND BLOCKED.
wordcount: 11.4k
a/n: so i’m back, but not entirely, mental health is still bad, but um, really wanted to write this, so if this flops i’ll be deleting this and rewriting the story to fit someone else lol, okay, bye, enjoy the story. and this is based on the song cinnamon girl by lana del rey.
Growing up, there’s one thing about your life that has been a constant and that is uncertainty, all your life, instead of having a pair of parents that diligently try their best to pave a smooth road for your life ahead like most parents, they had chose to lay out eggshells instead, their behaviour had manifested a constant spike in your heartbeat whenever you make a mistake in life, similarly to the feeling of prickling your bare feet by accidentally stepping onto a cracked eggshell on the floor, that’s how you’ve always felt ever since you were a child, every step you take, a pinch here and there that’s bound to push you over the edge one day, and that day came sooner and far more unexpected than a thunderstorm.
That thunderstorm had costed your mother’s marriage, and she never fails to remind you, how your attempt of ending your life had driven your bipolar father to the brink of his sanity, blaming your mother for her inadequacy of being a parent while he excused himself so easily just because he has ‘longer hours’ in the office.
Your father didn’t even try to fight for parental rights, he merely signed you away to your miserable mother, and that broke something inside her.
She begins taking more care in her appearance and goes out of her way to meet new people, particularly alpha men, she was particular with traditional first gender stereotypes, it didn’t really bother you, the rancid scent of some alphas could be avoided as long as you were in your room.
Since you were growing into late teen hood, she only gives you the necessities, basic interactions, things weren’t getting better, but they weren’t getting worse, to you, that’s considered a win.
Things were looking bleak until your mom engaged an alpha with honey in his eyes.
Johnny Suh, a young man your mother had picked up from one of the many parties she had attended on behalf of work, a client of her company apparently, he lasted the longest compared to all the others, you thought he’d stay forever and become an addition to your broken family, until another storm brews right in front of your eyes.
That day you had been sick, your mother had to rush back from a date to take you to the clinic, Johnny, being the gentleman he is, accompanies her with you, you still remember that day as clear as crystal.
The nurse had complimented how pretty you were, and that you take after your mother, to which she was delighted of course, gushing that she gave you all the good genes, no one but this nurse thinks the two of you look alike, you have always shared more similarities with your asshole father, not enough to make you feel sickening to look in the mirror, but just enough to remind you that you’d always be associated to that asshole.
After a thorough consultation, the doctor says that you had a bad reaction to the new heat suppressants your mother had switched to for a lower price.
“You better not fail your next driving test the next time around, or else you wouldn’t be able to get yourself to the clinic for heaven’s sake, and why are you always so sensitive to medicine? Can’t you be normal for once? Why do you have to be a freak?” your mother rambled all the way to Johnny’s car.
You had kept your silence, you weren’t feeling well anyways, you don’t have any energy left to argue with her, but instead, someone speaks up for you.
“Hey, why are you so harsh on her?” Johnny asks, at first he dismissed your mother’s odd alter ego towards you as a culture difference, since his own parents have migrated to the states so many years, he had always been told parents elsewhere are harsher towards their kids, but this feels like a personal insult towards you, and he might be 10 years younger than your mother, but not to the point of having such different views on how to children should be treated.
“She’s always been such a handful, all my friends’ daughters are so much more mature than her, they help clean the house, cook, always have good grades, not a burden like you are!” your mother emphasises on the last part by craning her neck to look at you with her hideous eyes, she’s not ugly at all, maybe average if you’re being mean, but she is horrid in your eyes, which is why you never understood why Johnny, a successful man at the ripe age of 28 would ever settle for a single mother omega with the worst mood swings ever.
“Why are you speaking to your daughter like this? She’s your own flesh and blood, you never told me there was such a huge riff between the two of you,” Johnny says, exasperated, oh there’s so much he doesn’t know, this is merely the surface.
She mumbles something under her breath that you didn’t quite catch, not that you bother to listen, you just want to lock yourself up in the safety of your room.
After a week from that day, your mother comes home with a slam of the door as tears stream down her face.
“This is all your fault!” she screams with a weak shove of your shoulder before she, surprisingly, retreats to her room. Later you find out why, because of the absence of the 6 foot tall handsome man who hasn’t dropped by for dinner for days now.
You thought you’d never see him again until you see his car waiting for you one day after you finish your college entrance examination.
“Johnny?” you call out, the handsome man has grown out his hair now, a beautiful lock falls right above his right brow, giving him an even more mature look, you’d always thought he was baby faced for a 28 year old man, but now he finally looks his age, guess this what people call a ‘break up glow up’.
“Hey, just thought I’d drop by to say congratulations, and maybe buy you a meal, you must’ve worked really hard these past few months,” Johnny offers, and who are you to reject him when you’re sick of having the same food your mom cooks.
“Did you get back with my mother?” you ask when you settle down in a fancy restaurant, your uniform looks cheap against the pretty red velvet walls, you note, even the waiters had judged when you walked in.
“Is your mother here?” Johnny asks, looking up from the menu, seemingly having decided what he’s having because he’s flagging down a waiter.
Johnny orders for the both of you, you had only mentioned that you’ll probably try the pasta you want once, and he never asked you to repeat yourself nor asked you to state your order to the waiter yourself, but he waits to see if he got it right, or if you’d like to order more, to which you quickly shook your head no, scared that he just might order more. Now you know why your mother was so heartbroken, you’d cry if you lose an alpha this attentive too.
You always had an odd sense of comfort when Johnny’s around, his scent was never overbearing, he has never once bossed you or your mother around just because he’s an alpha, he has been so respectful towards you, unlike some of the creepy alphas your mother brought back.
Just being in his presence again simmers down your post exam anxiety and general anxiety, you didn’t know Johnny's departure had such an impact on you until seeing him again today, it’s like your omega feels at home again.
The two of you talked with a newfound freedom, away from your mother’s watchful eyes. She never likes it when her boyfriends give you more attention, she’s always seen you as her competition.
Johnny asks about your ideas on how your future might look while he updates you on how he took the leap to establish his own company with the support of his best friends that you heard him speak about to your mother.
But everything good comes to an end, and yours come in the form of your lunch with Johnny ending, but the big blow is what he tells you right after reaching your neighbourhood.
“My new office is in Seoul, I’ll be moving tomorrow,” Johnny suddenly confesses.
“What? You’re leaving? Again?” you ask, a lump building in your throat.
Johnny winces at the wording, he thinks you know the relationship was toxic, how he lets your mother have her way in everything, but you’re just 18, a young girl who’s hurt time after time.
“I’m sorry, this company…has been my dream, and your mother and I, we’d never get back together, I don’t think we were ever compatible, I only stayed because…, nevermind, here, this is for you,” Johnny says, opening the glove box in front of you, passing you a little cardholder wallet.
“My business card is there, it has my office address as well as my number, personal and office, there’s also some gift cards there, Jo Malone, Sephora, I know you love perfumes and make up, get yourself something nice, a small gift from me,” Johnny says.
You don’t know when you started tearing up, but you felt Johnny use the expensive material of his sleeve to wipe away your salty tears.
“It’s going to be okay, just one more year, and you’d be able to move away from your mother, one more year and you won’t be binded to her legally anymore,” Johnny reassures, but that’s not what you’re sad for, you’re sad that Johnny’s leaving again, and so far away from Busan too, there’s no way you’d be able to leave the state without your mother knowing.
“Does that mean I could come find you in a year’s time?” you sputter out, the words taste bitter on your tongue.
Johnny freezes in his spot, the feeling of being on the borderline, he’s an adult, and an alpha more so, it’s not appropriate for an omega this young to be staying with him, yes you’re legal in terms of age, but it feels wrong still, but Johnny looks at you, he really looks at you this time, and he realises how you’ve grown into a beautiful young woman, even with tear streaks and a sour pear scent that makes him miss the soft sweet scent of pears in spring, he still thinks you’re absolutely ethereal in every way.
“Okay, I’ll see you in a year’s time if you don’t change your mind,” Johnny says as he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, he can’t have your pretty locks soaked in your own tears, seeing you cry and being the reason of your sadness already has his alpha howling in protest.
“Really?” you ask him once more, thinking you heard him wrongly, that your delusional mind had made things up for you.
“Yes, I promise.”
There’s so many things you want to say to him, but it’s better to keep it to yourself, you’ll just hurt yourself if you don’t.
So many things have changed since that fateful day, you no longer stay with your mother, instead, you’re staying with your rich best friend who has an apartment all to herself after her ex moved out.
You barely talk to your mother these days, merely giving an update or two for her every few weeks, at first she was ballistic when you said you were going to move out, but when you told her that Hyuna wasn’t charging you rent, she was ecstatic to help you move out of her humble abode.
You haven’t thought of looking for Johnny until you realise the modelling agency you’re working for expanded, and so now they’re planning on taking on bigger jobs by moving their HQ to Seoul, which means you need to pack up and find a place in a city you barely know.
“Still looking for somewhere to stay?” Hyuna asks, bringing over a mug of wine for you, she’s always been a day drinker, a habit she’s passed on to you.
“Yup,” you say after taking a sip, just what you needed, “thanks for this, it’ll be perfect for my nap when it hits,” you joke truthfully.
“You’re still having issues sleeping?” Hyuna asks, her brows furrowed in worry.
“It’s been a long time now, don’t act all surprised, it’s not going to go away,” you say, deciding to shut your laptop after bookmarking a few places, still a bit over budget, but maybe if you took on more jobs, you’d be able to make ends meet, and maybe no more indulging yourself in expensive food and groceries like you do now, hopefully you’d still have enough for the heating when days get colder.
“The cinnamon candles don’t work?” Hyuna asks, looking at the direction of your room, probably trying to catch a whiff of how strong the scent is.
“It helps, but it takes me forever to fall asleep, but at least I can sleep,” you say, recalling the gruelling times when you couldn’t sleep at all.
“If it’s this bad, it means what you had for him is more than a mere crush-
“He didn’t even say anything, it’s just me, Hyuna, stop giving me false hope, he only cared for me out of pity, we wouldn’t even have met if it wasn’t for my mom,” you defend yourself, it’s true, if he felt the same, he’d speak up, maybe called you or something, your mother probably gave him your number before, Johnny’s a straightforward man.
“Maybe he wasn’t sure of how he feels, how do you know he’s not suffering just like you are if you’re not willing to even give him a call, maybe you could stay with him for a few months before you secure your own place, just to confirm if what you’re feeling is truly just a fickle crush, please,” Hyuna pleads.
“I’ll think about it after my nap,” you say dismissively, leaving your bestie in the living room, she’s going to miss your stubborn ass when you’re gone, but you’ll probably be in better hands if you’re nearer to Johnny.
You don’t know how’d you get here, at Johnny’s doorstep of his big ass house in Gangnam, standing in between two expensive cars.
You had taken up Hyuna’s advice to contact your ‘almost stepfather’.
When you called him, he was surprised to say the least, he hadn't heard from you for three years, he thought you had moved on in life, leaving him as merely a closed chapter.
The phone call had been brief, just a quick congratulations and brief updates before Johnny had to dash off to attend a meeting.
Needless to say, Johnny has been excited for your arrival, he hasn’t stopped wondering how you were since the day he left Busan, he doesn’t know if it’s because he’s missed caring for you while he was with your mother, but ever since that day, he’s had this emptiness in his chest, and just by knowing he’s seeing you soon has relieved this sense of emptiness that was once a hole in his chest.
You finally plucked up the courage to ring the doorbell, quickly stepping aside when you caught whiff of the familiar scent of cinnamon.
Before you know it, you’re being greeted by the familiar alpha, he’s buffed up since the last time you’ve seen, time isn’t an issue for Johnny when he ages like fine wine.
“Hey, come on in,” Johnny says after getting over the initial shock of how much you’ve grown, instead of the little girl that her mother picks fights with, now the little girl standing before him has grown into a beautiful young lady.
Johnny has a new problem now that the emptiness is gone, and it comes in the form of that emptiness being overfilled.
Your scent, it’s different from how he remembered it to be, yes it’s still has the major notes of pear, but he remembers picking it up notes of your mother’s rose scent, which isn’t surprising since sometimes a mother’s scent lingers onto their children, especially if they’re both omegas, but now that you haven’t lived with your mother for so long, he realised that the scent lingered due to proximity, not biology, and it has him reeling.
He thought his desire to care for you is due to the fact that he once had love for your mother, but now that he’s living with you, he realises that the scent of ripe pears was also lingering on your mother just as her scent lingered on you, and now he’s questioning whether he was initially attracted to your mother because of her own scent or the soft but empowering scent of pears.
“Johnny?”
“Yes?” Fuck, he should stop having these stupid questions filling his mind, he isn’t attracted to you, maybe he should get laid soon, maybe it’s purely an instinct thing.
“I was asking you if you could turn up the heating a bit? My body isn’t as warm as an alpha’s” you remind him, but just then a sweater on the sofa catches your attention, “Oh wait, I could just borrow this, you don’t mind right? If not I’ll head up to unpack,” you say, to which Johnny nods, he forgot to even ask you if you wanted to eat anything after your long journey.
The sight of you drowning in his clothes, god, you’re going to be the death of him.
A few days later, after having gotten used to your new living environment, and adjusted to your newfound proper sleeping schedule, to Hyuna’s happiness and her constant ‘I told you sos’, you decided to cook Johnny dinner as the many forms of 'thank yous’ you’ll be giving him.
You decided to cook him a simple pasta to start off, deciding to make your own pesto sauce from scratch, which is why the two of you are spending your Sunday morning at a supermarket, browsing through the many aisles after deciding to splurge on a block of aged parmesan cheese.
You walk towards a pile of fresh basil, but frown when you see the ‘organic’ tag, these are always unnecessarily expensive, so you put the pack of basil down even though the organic ones look a lot fresher.
“Why are you putting them down? They’re a lot fresher than the brand you’re looking at now,” Johnny says before picking up the basil you had discarded.
“Oh, just thought those were a bit too pricey,” you say offhandedly.
“I’m paying, no worries, you don’t have to fret over these miniscule things when you’re with me,” Johnny says with a comforting pat on your head, god, if only he knows what those words do to you, you think to yourself before willing your emotions to be stable, he can’t pick up the spike in your scent, or he’d think you’re a freak.
“But I’m buying today, remember?” you say reminding Johnny of your promise of thanking him for his generosity of letting you stay in his home.
“You said you’d cook as a form of thank you, not buying the groceries and cook,” Johnny says before he places the pack of basil in the cart, “you don’t have to worry about price tags when you’re with me,” Johnny promises before walking ahead, looking back to see you following him with a huff, not used to walking about with someone with such long legs.
“Johnny? Where’s the blender you used this morning for your breakfast shake?” you ask, looking around the expanse of his large kitchen.
“It’s in the third upper shelf from the left,” he says from the couch, apparently he’s checking his emails despite saying he ended work at 6 not too long ago.
You shout out a quick thank you before you follow his directions, opening the cabinet door, you’re quick to recognise the device, standing on your tippy toes to retrieve the blender, you’re surprised by how heavy it is, and when you felt a slight wobble, you suddenly felt a warmth body pressed up behind you as sturdy hands came up to hold onto the blender supporting your smaller hand.
“Careful, this thing’s heavy at the top too, I don’t know why the cover’s so thick,” Johnny jokes as he pulls away with the blender in hand, immediately setting it up for you to use.
“Thanks, Johnny,” you say, glad that he was there, or you’d be cleaning up broken glass now.
“No problem, let me know if you need anything else from the upper cabinets,” Johnny says, smiling as he ruffles your hair before walking away to let you cook, leaving you with butterflies in your tummy.
“Does it taste good?” you ask after tasting a forkful of pesto pasta, you think it’s okay, maybe a little over for the cheese, but Johnny loves cheese, so you purposely incorporated more cheese.
“Tastes great, you’re really good at this, where did you learn all this from?” Johnny asks with a surprised but satisfied smile on his face, he knows you didn’t learn this from your mother, she was a more eastern food type of person.
“Just picked it up from Youtube shorts, those pasta videos are all over my explore page,” you explain with a bashful smile as you try to keep your emotions in check, you’ll die from embarrassment if he picks up your scent getting sweeter.
“Just from a quick short clip? What a smart girl you are,” Johnny compliments, he couldn’t help it, your mother had always complained about you being dumb and clumsy, always never getting top grades, but here you are, learning a quick recipe from a 30 second clip.
Your breath gets caught at the compliment, fuck, your scent definitely changed, you can feel the fuzzy feeling in your tummy again.
“It’s nothing complicated, really, it’s just a simple recipe, it’s no biggie,” you deflect, not used to being complimented this way.
“No, none of that down playing shit, take the compliment as it is, you watched a short clip of a recipe and you recreated it, that’s an achievement,” Johnny says firmly, but with no ill intent, he genuinely doesn’t want you to put yourself down anymore, he knows your mother had conditioned you to look at yourself in a shitty manner, but he’s going to change that.
You nod, mumbling another quick thank you before you go back to eating, feeling the heat behind your ears still.
Johnny isn’t dumb, he picked up on your spike in scent, and the way you look at him, he just wants to stare back into those pretty eyes of yours when he feels them trained on him.
At first it was tolerable, but as the days go by and the weather gets warmer, he sees you walking the house in nothing but shorts and a tee, and he swears you’re not wearing a bra underneath if he looks a bit longer.
Johnny is now out for a long awaited boys’ night with Yuta and Mark at Yuta’s bachelor pad.
“I thought the biggest concern would be that you can’t bring back hot omegas to your place, but you actually have a hot omega in your house, and you’re not going to do anything?” Yuta asked in disbelief.
Fuck, Johnny shouldn’t have shown them your socials, now they’re spewing bullshit instead of helping him.
“Dude, that’s his step daughter, it feels so weird,” Mark says with a huge side eye towards Yuta, which was rather common, since Yuta is the alpha of every omega’s nightmare, unless they’re into freaky shit that is.
“Thank you, Mark, finally someone who sees the logic in this situation,” Johnny said, his tone convincing, but not convincing enough to forget about the way your shorts fit around your bubble butt.
“Johnny didn’t even marry that bitch, and I know you’re a beta, Mark, but can’t you pick up how sweet she is just from Johnny’s clothes, look, man, if you’re not gonna make a move to tap that, I’ll gladly-
“Don’t you fucking dare,” Johnny said with a growl.
Yuta holds his hands up defensively, a smug expression on his face.
“No matter how much you lie to yourself, your alpha wants her, and recognises the connection the two of you share, you can't run away from that, and it's not like you can kick her out now that you offered to let her stay long term," Yuta deduced with a tilt of his head, daring Johnny to come up with a logical retort.
But the tallest amongst them goes quiet, mulling over his choices.
"Even if it's not Yuta hyung, some other alpha's going to be interested in her some day, hyung," Mark reminds Johnny, "and would you be able to stand aside and let someone love her instead of you?"
Johnny's never thought of it that way, in some twisted way, he had always thought you were his little girl, too young to be courted by alphas, but in reality, you're a grown woman now, even if he thinks he's too old for you, other alphas his age aren't going to think that, maybe not even you, you probably see Johnny less of a father figure than what he assumed.
"He's finally using that brain of his," Yuta says on the side to Mark, the two conversing among themselves while they let their friend gather his thoughts.
"How about this," Mark suddenly speaks up, "you could spend some time away from her to clear your mind, if you really miss her during your time away from each other…then you have your answer, dude," Mark suggests, looking at Yuta for affirmation.
"I mean that could work," Yuta says uncertainly, it probably is going to work, although with added risks that he won't be mentioning, he doesn't need Johnny's angry side out with a few drinks in.
"What am I going to say? Where am I going to stay?" Johnny asks, still doubting that this is a good idea, would you be fine with staying all by yourself? You haven't done that before, he thinks, but on the other hand, your mother was very much an absent parent.
"You could crash at my place, man, what could go wrong? I'll clean up the guest room for you and it'll be just like home," Mark suggests, immediately going to his phone to make a list of things to buy, like toilet paper and booze, he misses having sleepovers with his bro, and this is the perfect opportunity to make up for loss time.
"I'm leaving for a month for a business trip," Johnny tells you in the midst of having dinner together at this Japanese restaurant you had suggested, the fresh prawn tempura doesn't taste as nice anymore, now that he's bringing this up.
"Oh, that's abrupt, where to?" you ask, hoping you don't look visibly upset, but Johnny could tell from your crestfallen eyes, he could feel his own alpha struggling to take over and comfort you, yeah, he really needs time away from you if his alpha is acting this way.
"Back to Busan, my business partners are debating on opening a headquarters there, just to make things easier on the management and shipping side of things," Johnny lies, he already has a HQ in Busan, but he doesn't oversee it, god forbid he runs into your mother after everything.
"Oh, okay, do you need me to do anything with the house while you're gone other than watering the plants?" you ask, taking a sip of your green tea to swallow down your nerves, what if he sees her again?
"No, just be there to look over the weekly maids and everything would be fine," Johnny says with a sense of finality, for him, not you, because after telling you, there's no backing out, he's going to go through this like the man he is.
Everything was fine until it wasn't, and it started off with an ache in his head, it wasn't extremely painful, but it was consistent enough for him to down an advil every 12 hours.
He'd been drowning himself in work and the gym and brushed it off as a sign of fatigue, but when the headache shows no sign of fading even on a long weekend, he starts to worry, and then Mark drops another bomb on him.
"Dude, you’re starting to smell different, is your rut starting soon?"
Johnny freezes up from his position on the couch, the morning news talking about some light earthquake that happened last night, usually he'd be very focused on news like this, but his mind is now blank.
"Dude you alright? That headache you keep talking about, it's probably your rut-
"But it can't be, my rut isn't due for another 2 months," Johnny says in disbelief, quickly checking his calendar, just to double check.
"I don't know, man, but that's how you smelled like when you start your pre rut symptoms, maybe go check it out at the doctor's?" Mark suggests, stealing the bag of chips Johnny opened on the coffee table, happily munching away while his friend quickly books a doctor's appointment.
It's probably nothing, Johnny assures himself, he's been eating well, resting well, it's probably just a flu or something, he brushes off.
"Mr Suh, I fear that there are a few questions I need to ask you in regards to your condition," Doctor Park asks, his face a bit grim, if Johnny's getting some death disease then he's booking a flight to see the aurora lights, stat, there's no way he's going down without doing all the wild shit on his bucket list.
"Am I dying, doc?" Johnny asks, preparing himself for the worst, maybe stage 4 cancer, maybe some incurable shit that's passed down from the family that miraculously skipped his grandparents and parents.
"No, Mr Suh, I'm afraid you had unknowingly imprinted on someone, which is why I'm going to ask you now, are you seeing someone at the moment?" Doctor Park asks.
"No, not at all," Johnny replies, a half truth, since you're on his mind all the time.
"Then are you perhaps interested in someone? And you see that someone quite often?" the doctor asks, sceptical that an alpha this attractive is single, he could hear the nurses gushing about his patient when he walked in, even if he was blind he'd know this young man is considered attractive.
"Well, there is someone I'm somewhat attracted to, but I don't think to the point where I'd unknowingly imprint on them? And what does this have to do with my upcoming rut?" Johnny asks, still in denial that he actually imprinted on you, maybe the doctor just misdiagnosed him.
"Based on the information you've given me, you're having constant headaches, no appetite, and an upcoming early rut? Those are all symptoms of mate withdrawal, or in your case, potential mate withdrawal," Doctor Park says with a slight judgement in his voice.
"Is this…permanent?" Johnny asks, he's never been scared of things, but right now, he feels like he's a kid on a roller coaster again.
"There's a procedure to remove the imprint, however it'll be very painful, and I suggest you quickly check on the person you imprinted on, they might be having these symptoms as well, however usually the one that imprints feels it first, so you still have some time to figure things out, now excuse me while I go sort of your medication," the doctor says before leaving Johnny in the room alone.
Johnny quickly makes a quick search on where to get imprint removal in the country, just in case, and he curses when he sees the many warnings and symptoms of the removal treatment.
Doctor Park comes back in with a bag of medication, he pulls them out one by one.
"The violet pills are to numb the imprint in general, blue for your headaches, twice a day, green for your appetite loss, and red is to defer your rut if you wish to do so, however I don't suggest you taking too many of these as it worsens the effects of your actual rut when the medication can no longer withstand your rut hormones, take all of these after meals, and get sufficient rest, and please think this through as soon as possible," Doctor Park says before dismissing him for his next patient.
"So… what did the doctor say, man, you don't look too happy, but at least you look like you got more life in your face now," Mark says, gesturing at Johnny's face that is now less pale than when he left this morning.
"Yeah, I took some medicine, that's why, and I also found out that I imprinted on her," Johnny spilled, which earned the biggest and fruitiest gasps that he only hears from his beta friend.
"I'm sorry? Imprinted? Like for real dude? How did that happen?" Mark was in shock, but he was also curious, he's heard of imprints, but they rarely happen, especially with the dating culture nowadays.
"Not sure, the only good news is that I'm the one that imprinted on her, so I still have some time to think this through," Johnny says, just a heads up to Mark that he won't be rushing to pack his bags and move out of his home.
"Wouldn't she be affected also? And, what's there to think through? You wanna get it removed? That shit stings like a bitch from what I heard, even if you're willing to remove the imprint, there's no telling she would, and what if she falls sick while you're here-
"Stop, I just need a few more days, then I'll be out of your hair," Johnny says dismissively, heading back to his room for some peace of mind.
"Should we update Yuta on this?"
"Suit yourself, I won't change my mind regardless," Johnny says before shutting his door, ready for a long night's sleep.
Johnny knows you're fine, he's been staying up to date with you by asking you to water his plants everyday, today he even went as far as asking about your personal health, and true to the doctor's words, you haven't been feeling any withdrawal symptoms yet, and because of this, Johnny’s glad he bit the bullet and went for the check up early.
Anxious, that's what Johnny felt the last few days, the dismissive front he had masked on days ago now crumbling as he tossed and turned in his bed.
Johnny had felt tired after work today, which was odd, because he had purposely made himself a coffee before he left work to go to his scheduled workout at the gym, however, he had felt drained once he left the parking bay, which is why he ate a quick dinner of cup noodles and slept.
He had slept peacefully the first two hours, but after he woke up to go to the bathroom, sleep just couldn't seem to come back to him.
The sleep leaves Johnny as the prickling in his head grows, but he's taken his pills, why is he still reacting to the withdrawal symptoms?
Then he feels it, that sinking feeling in his stomach, he immediately hops out of bed, grabbing his wallet and car keys before dashing out of the door, a confused Mark who was watching a basketball game jolts at the harsh opening of his bedroom door.
"What's the problem, man? It's midnight, where are you going?" Mark asks, but nonetheless, he turns off the telly, following behind Johnny, he's never seen Johnny this anxious, he's not gonna leave him be at a time like this.
"I think something happened at home, but I don't know what, I need to check up on her," Johnny replies as he frantically watches the panel counting down to the car park levels.
"I'll go with you, it's late and if you need help, I'll be there," Mark offers, not questioning how true Johnny's hunch is.
It was quiet when he stepped into his home, but that wasn't out of the ordinary for you, you're not the type to stay up watching TV, but the weird thing is that there wasn't a single light on in the living area, you'd always leave a light on at night.
Then Johnny noticed how faint your scent was, you didn't tell him you'd be staying anywhere else tonight, but it smells like you haven't been here for half a day at least.
Johnny quickly traces your scent to your room, he opens the door, and the sight of you lying on the desk with your head down sends a chill down his spine, yes you might have fallen asleep, but you've told him multiple times that you can only sleep on a bed.
So he tries to shake you awake, but to no avail.
Mark was calling the ambulance before Johnny even asked him to, an unconscious omega is nothing to joke about.
Then everything was a blur, Mark drove Johnny's car while he sat in the ambulance with you, holding onto your hand as the medics asked him basic questions.
Johnny met up with Mark in the emergency area where he was ushered beyond the curtains due to your privacy.
"What did the doctor say?"
"Her life isn't in any danger, but they need to run more tests to confirm that it is imprint withdrawal symptoms," Johnny says, still focused on where you were wheeled in.
Then the doctor comes out, a stoic expression on his face.
"As you had predicted, Mr Suh, she is indeed going through withdrawal symptoms, so she's going to be hooked onto some drips and be given some medicine, nothing to worry about, however, please step up as a mate and actually be there for her," the doctor says with a slight edge to his tone.
"Yes, doctor," Johnny said, scratching the back of his head, embarrassed that as a man in his thirties is still struggling with professing his feelings.
Johnny watches your pale face, he did this, he’s to blame.
“Mr Suh, I’m sorry, but visiting hours are going to end soon,” the doctor informs.
“I wish to stay overnight to look after her,” Johnny says, as he texts Mark to find your essentials, thick sweaters and sweatpants, any skincare you have laying around.
“My apologies, Mr Suh, but you’re only eligible to sleepover if you book the VIP room where a proper bed is prepared for you, it’s company policy,” of course they got this greedy policy.
“Just charge it on my tab, get her the VIP room, immediately,” Johnny says, standing up from the chair he’d thought he’d be hunched over sleeping in.
“Gladly, Mr Suh, Nurse Park, please add Mr Suh into the overnight list and fetch your team to have the patient shifted.”
Johnny sighs as he follows you, keeping a keen eye when the team of nurses wheel you to your new room.
Marks drop by your things and he gets to work, cleaning your face with a towel and using the products that he recognises its uses of, he’s not a pro, but he does have a skincare routine himself too. Then, he tucks you in bed, pulling the blanket as high as your chin, knowing that you get cold easily.
Then Johnny slips off into slumber on the bed next to yours, fatigue consuming him after the stressful hour he had, but most importantly, sleep came to him because you’re finally in his presence again.
The first thing that you saw was how obnoxiously white the ceiling was, you’re quite fucking sure you had told Johnny to help you colour the ceiling black ages ago when you first moved in, wait, what happened to the silk sheets Johnny had splurged on you? Why are the sheets so rough against your skin?
You jolted up when you felt the tug of something connected to your arm, your eyes going as wide as saucers when you see that you’re currently in a hospital room, at first you thought you were kidnapped for your organs or whatever, until your nose picked up on the familiar sweet scent of cinnamon, you averted your gaze to the bed beside yours, seeing the view of Johnny’s back.
You carefully walked to him, cursing silently at the IV drip attached to you.
“Johnny,” you called to him, shaking him slightly, his contracting muscles at his shoulders alerting you that he’s waking up.
“Sweetheart? Why are you up? Let me get the doctor,” Johnny says urgently, scrambling up from bed.
“Wait, Johnny, why am I in the hospital? How did I end up here?” you ask, seeking answers in those panic stricken honey brown eyes that usually exude confidence.
“I…,” Johnny looks so lost at words at that moment, his entire confident businessman front is nowhere to be seen, he shakes his head, seemingly trying to get his composure together.
“It’s okay, you can take your time,” you reassure, sitting down beside him on the squeaky bed, an encouraging smile on your lips.
“I imprinted on you and didn’t know what to do, so I lied about going on a business trip to sort out my thoughts, I didn’t know you’d be affected by the withdrawal symptoms so quickly, I shouldn’t have trusted the doctor’s prediction, I should’ve consulted you, I’m so sorry, sweetheart, I put your life in danger even though I promised you I’d do anything to protect you,” Johnny confesses, his shoulders sagging after he’s spilled the entire story, his chest heaving as he struggles not to let his tears fall, he had put you in danger, he doesn’t deserve to be your alpha, he should’ve signed up for the imprint removal as soon as possible back then.
“Hey, Johnny, it’s alright, we all need time to think things through, I’m alive, I might’ve done the same in your footsteps, so don’t beat yourself over it,” you say, mind drifting to all the times you had felt very tired or had zero appetite for no particular reason, glad that you finally found the source of all your problems, all because of this cute alpha in front of you whose scent is so sour,
“If it makes you feel any better, I had the ulterior motive of wanting us to become something more too, when you were away, I thought you’d left me alone for good, so please don't even think about removing our imprint, please,” you plead, you sound a bit pathetic, if you’re honest, begging for a man to stay, but you don’t want his heart constantly out the door while his body hangs around, you went through that with your mother, you don’t want to go through that with Johnny as well, and you think Johnny understands what you mean too, because he releases calming pheromones, pulling you into his embrace.
“I’m not going anywhere you don’t want me to be, sweetheart, never,” Johnny promises you.
You bury yourself impossibly closer, but a crackling sound in his pocket pulls you out of your moment with Johnny.
“What’s that?” you ask, looking at Johnny for answers, watching him dig through his pocket, a packet of medicine is brought out.
“I had to take them while I was away from you, to deal with the side effects of imprint withdrawal from you,” Johnny explains.
“You won’t be needing them anymore then,” you say, ready to go home with your alpha.
Your relationship with Johnny has progressed smoothly, albeit rather slow, what you appreciate though, is that Johnny is a traditional man, going through the process of courting you, buying you flowers whenever he needs to leave for the office, cooking you food, buying you gifts once in a while, from simple things like a box of macarons to expensive jewellery.
What you didn’t expect was to find another package of medicine, when you decided to put his coat into the dryer, a packet of red pills that you recognised from a month ago.
“Johnny!” you called out to the alpha sitting on the couch, the evening news on.
“Why are you still taking these?” you ask, holding up the packet of visible red pills in your hand.
Conflict draws upon Johnny’s face, a frown between the creases of his brows.
“I didn’t want to let you know, but my rut is coming soon, so I’ve been delaying it as long as I can, I didn’t know if you’d like to, or if you’re ready for it, I’m actually prepared to spend it alone, I just didn’t know how to tell you-
“I’d love to spend your rut with you, so you won’t be needing these anymore,” you say, dumping the pills into a nearby trash bin,
“No! Wait-
“Taking suppressants are bad for you, Johnny-
“But you might not be ready, have you ever spent a rut with an alpha?” Johnny asks, but his wolf side is gnawing at his chest at the thought of its omega being with another alpha.
“I haven’t, but my heat is approaching too, and I don’t wish to spend it locked in my room anymore,” you cringe thinking about how your mother had warned you when you first presented that you should never ever sleep with anyone until you’re legally binded to one another, and that you should just suffer through your heats like a ‘righteous’ omega.
“Your heat is approaching soon too? Do you want to spend it at home or would you want us to go to heat hotels?” Johnny asks, but all you could focus on was the wording ‘us’.
“At home would be great, I want to nest a bit longer after my heat breaks,” you explain.
“Okay, we’ll go through this together,” your alpha reassures you.
The sexual tension between the two of you was so thick that a knife would've sliced through it, your approaching heat meant that your body temperature was rising steadily, that meant you had switched out your comfy sweat sets for cropped tees and cute house shorts, and the new expanse of exposed skin has Johnny struggling to concentrate on his work whenever he takes his work to the living room for a change of environment.
“Should he engage with you before your heat hits or should he wait and continue earning your validation?
You probably don’t have any extreme standards towards Johnny, but he has expectations for himself, like just the other day, he took you to a Japanese omakase, it was expensive, but your fascination towards the chef’s skill was worth every penny.
Other than that, he’s bought you flowers almost everyday, Mark had called him old schooled, courting you like what an alpha would do back in the 70s.
Johnny doesn’t really see this as a form of courting, he’s only giving you what you weren’t allowed to access in life, she was a selfish woman, she’d spent good money on a car before spending money on your needs. He recalls how you used to eat more on days where Johnny took both you and your mother out for dates, when he had asked you back then when your mother had walked away to the loo, that you don’t usually get to eat food this good, or this plenty when it was only the two of you.
Johnny curses to himself when he thinks of it, he should’ve realised this sooner, how your mother was treating you with such blatant dislike, he thought your relationship was rocky, he hadn’t known or expected that you were abused and neglected by her all along.
“What’s with the frown on your face, love?” you ask when you came round after fetching yourself a glass of water, taking a seat next to the warm alpha, you’re rather warm these days, which is why you’ve been layering less, so that you could still cuddle Johnny comfortably.
“Nothing, was wondering where you were at,” Johnny says, he doesn’t want to bring it up, you always have melancholy swimming in your eyes whenever he mentions your excuse of a mother, it’s better to not mention the past now that you’re having a good day.
“Corny alpha,” you tease, snuggling to his side, purring when his scent begins to envelope the two of you, you had specifically told Johnny that the scent of cinnamon calms you down, that you love smelling like him, consenting yourself to be scented by him at any opportunity.
“It’s work, isn’t it? Let’s take a break, how about a nap?” you suggest with an excited smile, you love being cuddled to sleep, his scent is a remedy for your insomnia.
“You should’ve become a negotiator,” Johnny says as he lifts you up in his arms, earning a squeal from you.
“I could’ve walked myself, you know,” you say breathlessly in between giggles, being carried by Johnny always makes you giddy, like you were a child all over again.
“What’s the fun in that?” Johnny retorts as he lays you down gently on his bed, and instantly his arms come circling your waist once more, Johnny can’t describe it, but whenever he pulls you into his embrace, his alpha feels like it’s coming home, having memorised your every touch, and when your smile falls a little, his alpha is clawing at his chest to prod why.
“What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?” Johnny asks, his hand reaching up to cradle your cheek.
“Can I ask you something Johnny?” that question worries Johnny, but he nods regardless, he promised to himself he’d face whatever problems the two of you may come across.
“What did you see in her back then? And what do you see in me? I don’t look anything like her,” you add on, choosing to be honest with him with your insecurities, your physical features have always taken after your father, or your male producer, since that’s all he’s done for you.
Johnny stills, he didn’t expect you to ask anything like that, and he sighs, knowing that he’d have to come clean to you sooner or later.
“I was attracted to the faint scent of pears mixed with roses when I first bumped into your mother, it was so calming to me, and at that time I guess I was young, and I wanted someone who was serious with me I guess, and maybe partly because it was kinda cool, bragging to my friends that I bagged myself a milf, it was just lots of bad decisions, really, especially when I realised that the scent I found comforting didn’t even belong to the person I was seeing, and I never thought you looked like your mother, she is her own beauty, and you are your own,” Johnny confesses and reassures, unknowingly, he’s breathing in your scent now, to calm his nerves.
“All of us make mistakes, Johnny, I’m just glad you don’t see me as an extension of her, that worried me the most to be honest,” you say truthfully, “that was my biggest worry.”
“You have nothing to worry about, if you do, that means I’m fucking something up,” Johnny jokes, but with a full sense of seriousness to it, and he looks into your eyes, trying his best to convey the message that this is serious, that you’re everything to him.
“Stop looking at me like that, go to sleep, you need it,” you say, laying your head on Johnny’s pillow and his shoulder, the support your neck needed after a day of editing videos.
“I think you needed this nap more than me,” Johnny notes with a teasing tone, but nonetheless, does as you’re told, closing his eyes to drift off to peaceful slumber with you.
When Johnny wakes up, he feels your body next to his, impossibly close, and also alarmingly hot, he jerks awake, seeing your forehead beaded with sweat, immediately he knew your heat has approached, or is coming soon, he could also feel his rut arriving, having triggered by your heat, he concludes when he feels the prickly feeling he gets at the back of his neck, a sign of his upcoming rut.
Should he wake you up? You never enjoy being woken up for no reason, but he could smell your scent sweeten, meaning that you’re probably getting wet by whatever dream you’re having.
Johnny made up his mind to wake you up at half past six, then you’d at least have two hours of sleep, for now, he’s going to make some porridge in his rice cooker, so you’d have some light food to have if your heat is put on a pause, Johnny’s never been so glad for having a stocked up fridge more than now, he has to move quick, he doesn’t want you, or more so, your omega in distress if you find him gone from the bed.
Johnny finishes up the last step of his mother’s old recipe before he dashes back into his room, you were still sleeping, rolling around in the pile of clothes Johnny had placed surrounding you, a makeshift nest ro help you sleep better, and it worked, seeing how you’re sweating a bit less, your face a bit less tensed.
Johnny looks at the time on the clock, you’ve been sleeping for almost three hours now, it’s time to wake you up if he wants to make it on time for dinner to be done.
“Hey, baby, time to wake up, you’ve been sleeping for a long time amd, don’t panic, but I think your heat is here, do you still want me around? If not I could probably look for a heat hotel for myself,” Johnny reassures, even though you’ve told him many times that you’re perfectly fine with spending your heat and rut together.
“I wouldn’t want to spend it any other way, Johnny,” you say with utmost confidence, knowing that if you didn’t Johnny’s going to overthink himself not to.
“Okay,” Johnny replied with a shaky breath, he’s never been nervous to sleep with an omega, but this is you, the person that matters most in his life, it’s expected of him to be on his nerves.
Although without mark, you could feel how nervous Johnny is through his scent, the sweet cinnamon having a twinge of sour, any other alpha would’ve lost control at this point, but Johnny hasn’t even complained about his awful blue balls even once, and is instead contributing to his own pain, and so you decide to help him out, or you’d be lying in your own puddle of arousal and still you wouldn’t have came even once.
“Tell me what you want to do with me,” you suggest before you seal your lips with his, in hopes that it’d motivate him to be more expressive with you, that if you can’t lead Johnny himself to make a move on you, that Johnny’s alpha would.
Instantly, Johnny’s hands held onto your hips possessively, his face nuzzles into your neck, his tongue flicking dangerously at the spot which might bind you closer than the imprint, but you expose your neck still, your omega doing the thinking for you in this haze of lust your body is driven to.
When he brushes his teeth against your sliver of neck, you instantly feel a new flood of arousal, your scent now heavily dousing the air Johnny breathes in.
Johnny curses, and you know why, you could feel his large cock twitching in his pants, the tip grinding against your puffy clit through the many layers of clothing, the rough material encouraging you to swivel your hips faster, your mind in a frenzy to seek more pleasure, but Johnny ceases all your movements with his strong hands.
“You asked me what I wanted to do with you,” Johnny says before his hands pry your clothed cheeks apart, dropping his head to your shoulder before he inhales deeply, almost growling at the sweet spike of your scent, “I want a taste, sweetheart, could you give me that?” Johnny asks after pulling away, his eyes hooded, a red hue painted on his honey brown eyes.
“Okay-y,” you say shakily, preparing to hop off of your alpha, but Johnny ceases your movements once more, causing you to whine, your omega disliking the fact that you’re getting denied from your sweet pleasure.
“I want you to ride my face, baby,” Johnny demands, pushing you upwards his body, getting you to move as you quickly nod your head, one of your oldest fantasies of Johnny coming true right now.
Johnny helps you remove your pants and underwear, his eyes zoning in on your slicked up pussy.
“Beautiful, so fucking pretty, and all mine,” Johnny admires aloud before he jerks your body downwards, attaching his tongue to your cunt, lapping away like some mutt, his tongue greedily catches all your sweet juices before he thrusts his tongue inside your core, groaning at the way your warm velvet walls cocoon around his tongue, his mind reeling at the thought of having his cock deep inside you, how tight you’d feel around him.
Johnny’s pace is too fast, he has you grabbing the headboard, toes clenched as you whimper at the feeling of his flexible tongue and sharp nose digging at your clit when he started moving your hips for you, you’re most certainly fucking his face now, and when you thought things couldn’t feel any better, Johnny exchanges his tongue with three of his fingers and he traps your clit in between his lips, sucking hard, he had feared his jaw would really go slack if he keeps up with the strenuous routine for too long.
However, the added thickness and length quickly has you screaming, the tips of his fingers finally reaching your sensitive spot, and so you fall apart, screaming.
“Fuck, so good, daddy,” you say as you weakly grind against Johnny’s face, not registering the fact that the man under you had frozen up, but he lets you continue nonetheless, savouring your sweet release on his taste buds.
When you’re finally done riding out your high, Johnny gently flips you to his spot, now he’s hovering over you, a mischievous glint in his eyes.
“I didn’t expect you to spill that dirty little secret to daddy this soon, my sweetheart,” Johnny says as he brushes your hair out of your face, admiring your flushed face.
Your heart drops at Johnny’s words, cursing at your lack of clarity whilst you're entrapped in this sex crazed heat.
“Don’t be so worried baby, you don’t need to hide yourself from daddy,” Johnny reassures before he kisses you softly, tasting yourself on his tongue.
With Johnny’s reassurance, you uncover yourself and start roaming your hands up his shirt to have a touch of Johnny’s chiselled body, he deduces that he can wait no longer, quickly jerking off his pants, his large cock hung in between his strong thighs, Johnny jerks off his cock with his hands as he admires your bare body, he feels himself battling with his wolf side, the desire to fuck, breed, and claim nagging his mind.
“You can still back out, sweetheart, go while my rut hasn’t entirely consumed me,” Johnny reminds you.
“No, please, I need this, I need you, daddy,” you say as you spread your legs, sitting up to reach for Johnny’s cock, but before you could even touch him, Johnny gently pushes you down the bed with one hand, the other gripping his dick in his hands, guiding himself to your entrance.
Johnny intertwines his hand with yours, hands locked next to your head as you feel his gaze burning into yours, slowly, you feel him breaching your ring of muscle, your walls opening up bit by bit as he fills you up slowly.
A whimper escapes you as you feel him surely filling you up to the brim.
“I’m sorry, baby, just a little bit more, you’re more than halfway in, baby, you’re doing a good job for me,” Johnny coos, his thumb brushing against your knuckles, an action he does whenever he picks up your anxiety spike in your scent.
When you’ve swallowed his length whole, Johnny lets you adjust to his size, distracting you by kissing you passionately, hoping that his lips would suffice as a distraction from the burn you’re feeling down there, and slowly, the burning feeling turns into slow but steady twinges of pleasure, and the fullness is driving your omega crazy, and now she’s craving for a big fat knot.
“You can move now, daddy,” you say, in a reassuring tone, your hand squeezing Johnny’s.
Johnny nods, before he pulls his hand away, choosing to hold your hips for better control, he thrusts shallowly, needing to gauge your reaction before he really starts, and the reaction is immediate, the friction of your walls against his bare cock is too good, moaning at the slight movement.
Johnny takes this as a positive sign, his alpha crooning, he pulls out most of his length, leaving the tip in before he thrusts back into you in one stroke, groaning at the way you clench around him.
“Fuck, baby, you feel so tight, so wet,” Johnny mumbles, more to himself since you’re getting lost by how Johnny almost immediately locates your sweet spot again, a whine leaving you as your toes clench and your nails drag down his back, and the pain fuels Johnny, knowing that he could drive you mad just from his dick alone.
“Alpha, please…”
Johnny’s cock twitches at hearing you beg, he doesn’t even need to dick train you, your daddy issues alone have moulded you into his perfect princess.
“Please what, sweetheart? You need to be specific,” Johnny demands, a hand coming to rub circles on your clit, he knows you’re very wet by now, but he wants you to unclench yourself, it’s not going to be pleasurable if you’re constantly tense.
“I…” you stutter, how can you voice the fact that you want him to move because you’re insanely horny? But the encouraging smile and constant calming pheromones in the air has you caving in, and maybe your omega is getting frustrated too.
“Want you to move faster, please daddy,” you say in a seductive, yet shy whisper, before you add on something absolutely unfiltered from your omega’s mind, “make your omega feel good.”
Johnny lets out an appreciative growl, ready to accept the challenge after hearing you call yourself his.
Johnny ploughs his cock inside you at a rapid pace, his hands grabbing, digging into your ass cheeks as he most literally, rocks your world.
You could feel yourself slipping away from sanity, choked moans leaving your parted lips as Johnny rearranges your guts, hooking one of your legs around his waist so that he could thrust deeper inside you, upholding your request of being filled with his cum.
A loud whine escapes you as you let yourself be manhandled, anything is fine by you as long as you could feel this overwhelming amount of pleasure going through your body.
You hold onto Johnny’s tricep as you feel yourself being rushed into another high.
“Daddy!” you gasp out once the dam of pleasure finally breaks, figuratively and literally, because the next thing you could register in your heat crazed haze is that your pelvis and Johnny’s luscious looking thighs are drenched with your release.
Your eyes widen comically as you take in the fact that you just squirted, the apology on the tip of your tongue.
However, Johnny beats you to it, voicing his positive thoughts over it.
“Fuck, baby, can’t believe you squirted just like that, your tight little hole couldn’t handle daddy’s big cock, am I right?” Johnny asks, his tone so gentle, yet his words so filthy, and that has your heart doing somersaults and your pussy clenching enthusiastically.
Then your heart drops, the love fest interrupts your train of thoughts, Johnny hasn’t cum yet.
“Daddy, you haven’t cum,” you said, immediately clenching onto the girth inside you, but Johnny grips your hips to halt you.
“You must be tired, let your body rest before your heat consumes you again,” Johnny suggests, prepared to pull out of you.
“No! Please, daddy, I need your cum, your knot, or I’d feel empty…daddy,” the last part came out as a whisper, still not being used to voicing out your carnal desires even though it’s perfectly normal, especially during one’s heat.
Johnny gives you a soft smile, a hand caressing your face before he kisses you gently on the lips.
“Present yourself,” your alpha says to you before he pulls himself out, kneeling before your beautiful body, choosing to let you make the move.
And so you did, slowly lifting yourself, turning around and presenting yourself, on your knees with your ass arched up, your pussy glistening even under the minimal lighting in the room.
Johnny curses under his breath before he quickly seathes himself back inside you, groaning at the welcoming walls that he once again sank into.
“Don’t hold back, alpha, take what you need,” you say, twisting your neck to get a glimpse at the beautiful man you’re able to call yours.
Johnny curses under his breath before he resumes the punishing pace he had going on before you reached your high. You’re really starting to think you’re a masochist, the way you enjoy the slight burn from the overstimulation has all the signs showing that you can no longer deny.
“Is my baby a pain slut? Whining that it hurts, but I can still feel your pussy getting wetter for me,” Johnny teases as he slows down his thrusts, putting more emphasis on fucking you deeper, now that you’ve came.
All you could do was nod between sniffles, struggling to agree with your alpha verbally, knowing that most men find that sexy, but Johnny coos, he knows what you want to convey, and the fact that you couldn’t even speak your mind whilst he fucks you just drives his confidence through the roof.
Before he knows it, Johnny could feel his cock bulging up, his knot forming, groaning at the feeling of your tight walls wrapped around him so closely, and his knot hasn’t even finished swelling up.
Johnny whispers sweet encouragements in your ears as you whimper at the foreign feeling of being knotted.
Soon after, his knot starts to deflate, spurts of cum painting your walls white as he calls your name sweetly, almost moaning.
And slowly, the stream comes to a stop, you were in and out of it during the time of you and Johnny being locked together, dozing off as Johnny has his arms wrap around your body, scenting you even though you are most definitely drenched in his scent from the constant physical attachment, but he understands you well enough that you need this on an emotional level.
“You can still leave if you don’t want to spend my rut with me, I can feel it starting soon, maybe give or take a few hours,” Johnny reminds you, giving you one last chance to leave if you decide to not spend a rut with him yet, which is respectable, the two of you haven’t been dating that long, most people at least wait a year of dating before spending such a vulnerable time together.
“I’m sure, Johnny,” you reassured him as you brush the flyaways from his handsome face.
“Then let’s get some food before we fuck like bunnies again,” Johnny jokes before he whisks you away to the direction of his kitchen, tummy rumbling now that you caught whiff of the scent of delicious food, you just hope your alpha is able to keep his hands to himself long enough after you guy finish washing the dishes.
You smile to yourself at the realisation, that even with all the uncertainty that started off between the two of you, the situation with your mother and how Johnny used to keep you at arm’s length, in the end, you win.
#nct smut#johnny smut#nct imagines#nct scenarios#nct x reader#johnny suh#nct 127 smut#nct 127 scenarios#nct 127 imagines#johnny fluff#nct au#johnny suh smut#nct fanfic#nct fanfiction
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Grief in Dawntrail
Alrighty, here are my thoughts as a funeral director having finished Dawntrail. Obviously spoilers under the cut.
When someone says a game feels like work, that’s normally a bad thing. In this case it’s not. Two of Dawntrail’s themes are community/their different cultures and grief and while they’re explored more separately in the two halves of the story they are intrinsically linked. Funerals at their core are about remembering the person who’s died and coming together to support each other and remember the person. Even with the decline of “traditional” funerals, people who are just having a cremation and nothing else from the funeral home often say they’ll have something at home with their friends and family.
This is why Sphene pissed me off from the start. With the Yok Huy we see a beautiful funeral tradition. The body may return to the mountains but their legacy will always remain for their community to read and remember over and over again, even for future generations. Meanwhile Sphene echo’s the same message, “You will never die so long as you’re remembered” but then removes the memories as a misguided attempt to protect her people. They aren’t remembered, they’re actively forgotten by their entire community until those people die too.
Death and grief are complicated things. Something we learn in school is there are no stages as most people think. It’s a roller coaster that goes forward and back, has good days and bad days, and will sometimes crop up years later. What lessens it is allowing yourself to process it, and support from friends/family/community helps immensely. By denying them these memories, Sphene denies them growth and stronger bonds. A friend of mine said the people of Alexandria wouldn’t survive the Final Days and I agree. We even see this in the WoL! How many times are we able to quote Haurchefant or other characters who have died but made an impact on our journey? Even Emet-Selch asks us to remember them. The ancient’s love, their follies, the good and bad. While grief hurts in so many different ways, we often come out on the other side better, whether that be with new tools, new outlooks, or even just relief that the person isn’t suffering.
And this doesn’t just apply to people we care for. Look at the death of Zoraal Ja. Wuk Lamat hated him and he’d abandoned Gulool Ja. Regret or joy that it’s over are valid feelings . Both grieved in their own ways and had support to work through it. The fact that they were actively told to take a break to process everything, both after his death and after the attack on Tullioyal, was a beautiful touch. Grief is exhausting after all.
Finally, I want to talk about my experience going through Living Memory. That’s the part that truly felt like my work. Just sitting and listening to people say their final goodbyes to their loved ones. Some crying, some laughing at good memories, some angry, but all taking that moment. I didn’t cry really (except Cahcuia, that one got me), I got choked up and there was a heaviness for a lot of it, but there’s a joy in knowing nothing’s left unsaid. Even deleting the areas didn’t affect me much. They each got their last hurrah, like a eulogy at a service or stories shared over a meal. Plus the knowledge that reincarnation exists in FFXIV means they’ll be able to enjoy life again.
At the end of the day grief, in all its forms from the end of relationships, to what could’ve been, to death of a loved one, shouldn’t be swept under a rug. When people find out I’m a funeral director I often get asked if it’s “depressing with all the crying” and I always reply that I hear laughter coming from visitation rooms more often than tears.
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authors note: hellooo! someone had requested for a soft nate jacobs piece and the draft got deleted so if u were that person i am so sorry but I hope this finds you! :) also I’m so sorry for how long it’s taking me to make these I’ll try to post as consistent as possible! Pls enjoy this one in the meantime!
Tenderness is a Virtue.
The reminiscing air of what was left of summer flew through your window with a soft sound.
Closing your textbook, you let out a small sigh of relief. Wanting to get enough hours of sleep before class the following day, you shifted your body and let it finally be at ease.
Though none of it lasted long.
The soft ping of your phone rang through the room and its soft light luminated a tiny section of your bedroom ceiling.
Groaning softly you moved your body to scan the screen.
“Wyd?.” -nate
You stared at the message for a moment, but ultimately settled that you were to answer him back in the morning as you moved back to your previous position.
Again, it didn’t last long before your phone rang softly.
Letting out a nosier groan this time, you moved to answer the phone ready with an irked greeting to whom you knew was on the other line.
“I’m outside.” Was the first and only thing he said in a soft hurried voice before he hung up.
Agitated and incredibly confused you quickly put on a pair of slippers and looked outside your bedroom window.
From there, you spotted Nate’s truck parked right infront of your house.
Grabbing your phone you dialed him back.
He picked up on the first ring.
“What the hell are you doing here?!” We’re the first words you spoke to him that night.
“Well hello to you to moody.” Was what he said and you swore you could hear a smirk in his words.
“Nate it’s 2 in the morning, why the hell are you here-“
“Alright, Jesus fucking Christ calm down a bit, yeah?”
You groaned softly for what seemed like the tenth time of the night.
“Just trust me alright? And get your ass down here, the foods getting cold.” There was the shit eating grin in his voice again.
Your annoyance shifted into curiosity and by the time you were to respond he had hung up.
Grabbing a hoodie and carefully moving to the front door as to not wake your parents, you reached the front door and stepped outside.
Running carefully to his truck you reached the passenger door and opened it.
“Hi.” Was the only thing he said as he watched your soft gaze fall onto the objects in the passenger seat.
Your gaze shifted to meet his eyes, “hey.”
“You gonna come in or are you gonna stand there looking at me like that?” He asked with a soft teasing tone in his voice.
Hesitantly you exhaled softly.
“I don’t know Nate, there’s class tomorrow and I can’t risk not sleeping just because you decided to go on a joy ride.” You said in a slightly annoyed as he took it all in meanwhile you rambled.
“And even if I wanted to, if my parents see that I’m not home they’ll ground me-”
“Please?”
You turned your eyes to stare at his soft expression.
“I know it’s late as shit right now and I’m sorry for waking you up but I really need you right now, so if you could just get in the fucking car please.” He said in a pitiful tone.
Part of you felt a slight sense to be there for him, and the other small fraction felt like slamming the car door shut.
With a resigned sigh you slid into the passenger seat.
He smiled softly at you as you buckled your seatbelt.
“Thank you.” He whispered afraid his voice would break the brittle silence between you two.
You turned to him and nodded softly, a silent reassurance.
“So where are wo going?” You asked.
“It’s a surprise.” He said grinning and starting the car.
“Nate.” You groaned his name softly and scrunched your nose at his words.
“Nope, not telling you, but relax alright? All you have to do is sit your pretty little butt in that seat.” He said still grinning and teasing.
You shook your head smiling softly and leaning back into your seat.
———
After a short drive, he turned onto a side street, then another, weaving through the city until you reached a small, secluded rooftop parking lot with a stunning view of the city skyline. Nate parked the car and turned to you, eyes softening as he looked at you.
“Come on,” he said, his voice gentler than usual as he hopped out of the car. You followed, your curiosity growing as he opened the trunk and pulled out a small basket.
He caught your confused expression and offered a quiet smile. "Trust me," he said, guiding you to the edge of the rooftop where he spread out a blanket on the cool concrete.
"Picnic on the roof?" you asked, a bit surprised by the thoughtfulness behind it.
"Picnic on the roof," he confirmed, carefully unpacking the basket. He handed you a sandwich, his fingers brushing against yours briefly, and you noticed how deliberate and careful his movements were.
“Thank you.” You whispered sweetly.
He nods softly with a small smile on his face. “I know we’ve been tiring yourself out lately so I wanted to do something for us, figured we could use a break even if it’s just a night,” he admitted dropping normal smug tone to a more tender one towards you.
You couldn’t help but smile at the thought of him planing this all out.
“This is really nice, thank you,” you said, your heart warming.
His lips pulled upwards into an adoring smile, “I’m glad, I was worried you were going to think it was dumb or something.”
You shook your head softly as you bit into the sandwich.
You both ate and fell into conversation, chatting about everything from school to football.
“You know we have a game next Friday,” he spoke.
You nodded your head, “yeah, I heard. Biggest game of the year right?”
“Yeah,” he replied, his voice a bit softer than usual.
He paused for a moment as to decide how to say his next words. “You should come.”
You blinked, a bit surprised. “To the game?”
He nodded, looking almost shy for a moment, a side of Nate you weren’t used to seeing.
There was something in his tone, a quiet sincerity that made your chest tighten a little. “Really?” you asked, wanting to make sure you hadn’t misunderstood.
“Yeah,” he said, his eyes meeting yours. “It’d be nice to have someone there who... who actually cares, you know?”
You thought your heart would actually explode at that point hearing how he aches for you to be there.
“I’ll be there,” you said softly, your voice barely above a whisper.”
He smiled, a genuine smile. Thanks, it’ll be nice seeing you in the stands instead of mad at me,” he says teasingly.
You shook your head softly and laughed softly, “you’re horrible,” you said still shaking your head and hiding the soft tint that rose to your cheeks.
———
Pulling up to your house and turning off the engine, Nate turned to you, the soft radio music filling the space.
You smiled softly at him and reached to open the car door to exit but turned to look at him with a soft smile.
“You know you can’t just show up to my house and make me a picnic every time we fight,” you said softly and teasingly.
He smiled softly and reached to cup your cheek to bring your face towards him.
“I know,” he said in a whisper as your faces were inches apart.
“But,” he said as he got closer.
“There’s always painting, museums, a movie, and I suppose if everything else fails I’ll just do this,” he said as his gaze fell to your lips while he held both your cheeks softly and pulled them so your lips met his.
The kiss was soft and tender, no lust, just you and him.
As you pulled away softly you peck right below his lip lightly.
“You’re dumb,” you said in a whisper tone.
“I’ll be whatever you want me to be sweet girl.” He said with an adoring smile.
#nate jacobs x reader#euphoria#jacob elordi x reader#jacob elordi#nate jacobs#saltburn#felix catton x reader#felix catton#Spotify
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Prompt where r is a sub in Abbott who's head over heels for Melissa. She doesn't have the nerve to admit it let alone talk to Mel without being a stuttering and flustered mess. Barb noticed it as well as the other teachers but they leave the sub for the silly crush she's harboring with the redhead thinking it's cute to see such thing like that in the school . Yet Ava, who's like have eyes everywhere teases her about it. Melissa on the other hand is clueless and joined the teasing one day not knowing it was actually about her and the sub, who became absolutely embarrassed at that point and left the break room quickly. All eyes are on Melissa, Barb + crew was like questioning her if she means the teasing or she was just blind and clueless.
So this fic got way out of hand, I thought it was gonna be a cute 2k word one then I look when I’m finished and there’s 4.5k words. Whoops. I really thought this prompt was funny and cute and hope I did it justice. I’m sorry it sat for like 2 weeks while I did all the other fics but I finally got to it. Not edited in the slightest and I hope you like it!
On another note: I’m getting to all your prompts! If you wrote one then I will write a fic for it. I don’t delete them so don’t worry, it’s coming! I also didn’t expect to name it with the one I went with to describe it but oh well
Clueless Teasing
Warnings: Smut, I think one swear word and a shit ton of fluff
Words: 4.5k
You walk in through the doors of Abbott Elementary. It’s your first day as a substitute teacher at this school and you were beyond excited. They told you they’ll need you until the end of the school year which is in 6 months and they told you you’re filling in for Janine Teagues.
You walk into the office to get your temporary badge and classroom key. As you walk out you run into someone causing you to drop both things and the other person dropping a folder. You immediately bend down to pick up your things and the folder for the other person and stand back.
“Sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going-” whatever you were going to say next was cut off when you looked at the person and got distracted by her. Luckily for you, where you finished seemed like the end of your sentence and the woman smiled as she grabbed the folder from you.
“It’s alright hon, happens to the best of us.” She says and looks at your badge. “New teacher?” She asks.
“No no, um new sub. Filing in for a teacher called Janine Teagues.” You tell her and smiles.
“Did you happen to be shown where her classroom is?” She asks and you mentally facepalm.
“Um no, I- I didn’t.” You tell her.
“That’s alright, if you want I just have to drop this off and I can show you. The classroom is across from mine. I teach second grade as well.” She tells you and you smile.
“I would love that, thank you so much…” you say and try to read her badge but got distracted by her chest.
“Schemmenti.” She says and you look back up. “Melissa Schemmenti.” She tells you and you blink, of course she has a beautiful name, fits her beautiful face.
“That’s a lovely name.” You tell her and she sticks her hand out to shake. “I’m-I’m…” you start to introduce herself but short circuited when you shook her hand, it feels so soft.
“You’re…?” She asks and pulls her hand back.
“Oh right my name is Y/n Y/l/n.” You tell her and she smiles.
“That’s a lovely name too. I’ll just go drop these off and then I’ll show you the classroom. I’ll be right back.” She tells you and you nod. She goes into the office and 10 seconds later someone comes up to you.
“Hi, are you a new teacher?” He asks you.
“New sub.” You tell him.
“Oh amazing! I’m Jacob Hill.” He says and brings out a hand for you to shake.
“Y/n y/l/n.” You tell him. “I’m subbing for Janine Teagues.”
“Oh cool, I was good friends with her. She’s a temp at the district right now.” He tells you and you nod. Just then Melissa comes out and sees Jacob there.
“Jacob, are you trying to scare the newbie away? I thought that was more Janine’s thing.” She tells him.
“Well someone has to fill in for her.” He jokes back and she snorts.
“Come on kid, I’ll show you to her classroom.” She tells you and you wave goodbye to Jacob.
You walk down the hall with her and can’t help but feel mesmerised by her.
“So how long are you subbing for?” She asks you and you shake yourself out of your trance.
“Um um 6 months.” You tell her, cringing as you forgot how to speak for a second.
“Are you ok? You seem nervous.” She asks you.
“Ya I’m fine, a little nervous. New place and people.” You tell her and she nods.
“Understandable.” She says and then she stops. “So this is the classroom.” She says and nods her head to the side to the room. She then turns slightly and points to a class down the hall. “And that’s where mine is. Have any questions just feel free to ask. And another teacher, Gregory Eddie, his classroom is just right here.” Melissa points to the classroom just right next to yours. “Him and Janine are close so he can answer questions too.” She tells you and you nod.
“Thank you so much Ms Schemmenti.” You tell her and she waves you off.
“Oh please, call me Melissa. I normally don’t let newbies call me by my first name but you seem ok.” She tells you and you blush.
The morning goes by quickly and before you know it, it’s lunch time. You get the kids lined up and you begin to walk out and to the cafeteria when you have no idea where it is. You were about to ask the kids when Melissa walks by with her class and sees you don’t know where to go.
“Hey newbie, just follow me.” She tells you with a wink and you blush again.
“Thanks Melissa.” You tell her and you follow her to the cafeteria. You both drop off your classes and then she goes to walk out.
“Did you bring a lunch today newbie?” She asks you and you nod.
“It’s in the classroom.” You tell her and she nods.
“How about you bring it to the break room and come meet some more teachers?” She says and you nod.
“Ok, although I have no idea where it is.” You tell her and she giggles.
“I’ll bring you there, let’s go get your lunch.” She tells you and starts walking to your classroom and you sprint after her. For someone wearing heels, she’s sure fast.
She brings you to the break room and you see Jacob there with Gregory. You met both of them briefly today. You see a few other teachers chatting in a corner. You see another teacher at a table that Melissa goes to sit with.
You go to sit at an empty table but then Melissa stops you. “Newbie, come sit with us.” She tells you and you blush then sit down in the empty chair at her table. “This is Barb, she teaches Kindergarten.” She introduces her friend to you.
“Hi Barb, nice to meet you. I’m y/n y/l/n. I’m subbing for Janine Teagues.” You tell her and she smiles.
“Nice to meet you dear. I see Melissa has taken an interest in you.” She tells you and you blush.
“Oh I’m just lost so she’s been nice to me and showing me around.” You tell her.
“Ya like I said, she’s taken an interest in you, she doesn’t do that for anyone.” Barb tells her and Melissa rolls her eyes.
“You’re making me seem like a bad person.” Melissa complains and Barb chuckles.
“Not bad, just antisocial.” Barb responds.
“Well whatever it is, I just really appreciate your help. And if there’s any way to thank you then let me know.” You tell her and she smiles at you. That smile will be the death of you, you just know it.
Over the next month, you’ve been fitting in well and getting to know around the school, and the students seem to like you. You have Melissa to thank for the support and guidance. Your crush for Melissa has just grown more and more as she does seem to take a liking to you. You think that your crush has grown more into love though and you’re not sure how to act around her most of the time, or what to say. Most of the time when you talk to her, all that comes out is something that makes you seem like you have a loose circuit or wire, and you sometimes don’t understand what you say.
One day was really bad though as Melissa accidentally got pushed in a busy hallway and got pushed into you against a wall. You looked at each other and your lips were centimetres away from each other, if she didn’t pull away then you might have kissed her right then and there.
“Sorry kid, busy hallway.” She said as she pulled back. “Kids don’t watch where they’re going most of the time.” She told you.
“Oh.” You squeaked out and you clear your throat. “Oh, it’s alright, um ya. It’s alright.” You tell her and she looks at you confused and you want to bolt out of there but you can’t with all the kids in the way so you just start walking.
All the other teachers seemed to notice how you act around Melissa and they know it’s a crush. They don’t say anything though, since it’s none of their business and having fun watching you try to keep it together. The only one who doesn’t know is Melissa, and you want to keep it that way. But of course Ava happened.
Ava has been watching you on her cameras for awhile now ever since the incident in the hallway that happened during your second week here. She’s having fun watching you try to be a human being around Melissa and failing. After 6 weeks of watching this, she decides to do something about it,
So one day you were all in the break room while Janine was visiting everyone again, she seems to pop in once a week, she’s met you and seems to like you as well. Anyway, Ava comes waltzing in like she always does and looks at you with mischief in her eyes.
“So y/n.” She starts and you look at her confused as she walks to the coffee machine. “I know who you have a crush on.” She teases you and your cheeks go red. Melissa looks at Ava then at you.
“Do you have a crush on a girl y/n?” She asks you and you don’t answer, you just take a sip of your coffee.
“Oh she sure does. And she seems to not know how to act around her. Stuttering and becoming flustered, trying to be a human being and failing, miserably.” Ava continues on and you wish the ground would swallow you whole. And worst of all it seems Melissa is finding this amusing, as she begins laughing at what Ava is saying.
“Oh, I would like to see you around this girl, see you apparently fail at being a human being.” Melissa teases you. Your cheeks go red and you get so embarrassed that you sprint out of the break room and to your classroom.
Once you get to your classroom you close and lock the door and then just sit in your chair and sulk.
Back in the break room everyone looks at Melissa. “What?” Melissa says as she notices everyone staring at her.
“Why were you teasing her about her crush?” Jacob asks her.
“Because it sounded funny.” Melissa says like it’s obvious.
“Do you even know who her crush is?” Barb asks and Melissa shakes her head.
“No, she hasn’t told me, why? Has she told you guys?”
“She doesn’t need to tell us when it’s obvious.” Janine says and Melissa looks at everyone and she’s lost in what everyone else seems to know.
“Girl, how blind are you? You seem completely clueless to what’s really obvious.” Ava states and Melissa frowns.
“Ya like even though I’m not always good at reading people, it’s obvious to me as well.” Gregory says and Melissa looks at all of them confused.
“So it’s a teacher then?” She starts and they all nod.
“And someone you know extremely well too.” Barb says and Melissa is taken aback by this.
“But everyone I know well is in this room, and y/n is only interested in women.” Melissa says and everyone looks at her to see if she’ll figure it out. Melissa still looks completely lost, like something isn’t clicking like it has for everyone else.
“This is getting hard to watch.” Ava says and she almost blurts it out right there.
“Melissa dear, you know y/n, she’s told you what type of women she’s interested in. I know she has because I was there when she has.” Barb says and Melissa thinks about it.
“Well ya, she says she likes older redhe-” and that realisation stops her dead in her tracks. “I’m an older redhead.” She says and everyone smirks. “And I’m in this room.” She says and puts it all together and thinks about all your interactions. “OH FUCK.” She says and runs out of the room to go searching for you.
“Honestly if she didn’t figure it out right there then I would have just told her.” Ava says and everyone glares at her. “What? I didn’t though.” She says and Barb shakes her head at her.
Melissa walks down the hallway and decides to look at your classroom first and sees the closed door. She goes to open it and sees that it’s locked so she knocks on it.
“Y/n? It’s Melissa, are you in there hon?” She asks and doesn’t hear anything. She asks again but is still met with silence so she assumes you’re not in there and goes to check other places.
In your classroom you heard her both times but chose to stay quiet, you just want to be left alone right now.
Melissa is getting worried, she’s checked everywhere you could be but can’t find you, she texts you again but no reply.
Melissa: Hey hon, I wanted to talk to you about something, where are you?
Melissa: I wanted to apologise for what happened in the break room.
Melissa: I’m trying to find you but don’t know where you are?
Melissa: Hon, I’m getting worried, can you reply back to me please?
Melissa: Can you at least tell me that you’re ok?
Melissa decides to just go to her classroom and talk to you at the end of the day. When the bell rings she sees your door wide open and you welcoming back your students from lunch. She sighs as she thinks about what everyone told her at lunch and looks at you longingly. Barb and Gregory see her look at you and they shake their heads.
Melissa’s heart breaks a little, you have a crush on her and she never notices any of the signs, and she teased you about it to the point that you got embarrassed and left. She’s thought about her feelings for you many times, she remembers you telling her your type but she didn’t have any feelings for you at that point and didn’t think much about it. How long have you had feelings for her? Cause she hasn’t seen you act very differently from the first time you’ve met. And that’s when it clicks, you’ve been interested in her since the start and she mentally facepalms.
At the end of the day, Melissa says goodbye to all her students as they’re getting picked up or walking to their school bus. When her last student leaves she sees you locking your door to leave. So she runs in to grab her things, locks her door and bolts to you. She makes it to the parking lot and sees you pulling out and she sighs.
The next day, you come in and when you get to your classroom you see it’s already open and Melissa is spinning a little in your chair.
“Hey hon.” She says casually and you freeze.
“Um h-hi Melissa.” You say and she smiles. She motions for you to come closer and you close your door and walk to your desk as she stands up. You sit down at the chair and Melissa is sitting on your desk. Feet dangling on both sides of you when you sit in the chair.
“I wanted to apologise for what happened in the break room yesterday. Ava and I shouldn’t have teased you.” She starts and you sigh. You didn’t really want to be talking about this, you just wanted to forget about it, finish out your 4 months and then hope to get placed somewhere else.
“It’s fine, don’t worry about it. Just forget it happened.” You tell her and she tilts her head at you. You get up to go and get something at the other end of your classroom but Melissa straightens her legs out and puts them up, effectively trapping you. “Uh, Melissa, do you mind? I need to go get something.” You tell her but she doesn’t move.
“When were you going to tell me you have a crush on me?” She asks and your face pales.
“What?” You ask, very nervous now.
“When were you going to tell me you have a crush on me?” She repeats and you don’t say anything. “Were you ever going to tell me?” She asks and you shake your head. “So you were just going to finish up your 4 months and what? Just leave?” She asks and her voice breaks a bit at the end. You nod your head in response to her question and she sighs. “Why weren’t you going to tell me?”
“Because everyone I’ve ever had a crush on never likes me back so now I just keep quiet instead of making a fool out of myself.” You tell her and she puts her feet down. You go to move but she grabs your arm and pulls you to her.
“Oh hon, that’s no way to be. I mean if you never told me and just left then you would have never known that I like you back.” She says and you short circuit.
“Like me back?” You question and she nods.
“Ya, I like you as well you goof.” She says with a smile. You still look at her confused and she rolls her eyes. She then pulls you closer to her and kisses you. Your brain catches up with what’s going on after a second and then you kiss her back. Melissa lets go of your arms and you move a hand up to grab her hair while she puts her hands on your hips. You both pull back for air and you stare at each other.
“How did you find out?” You ask her and she blushes a bit.
“After you left yesterday, everyone sort of helped me figure it out. They all knew except me, go figure that out.” She jokes and you giggle.
“Ya I thought you were the smart one of the group.” You tease her and she huffs at you.
“You’re a little shit, you know that?” She says and you nod. She smiles then just pulls you back and kisses you again. You move your hands from her hair to her cheeks, then to her arms, then back up to her hair. Just trying to touch everywhere you could. While Melissa sneaks a touch and finds the skin under your shirt and places her hands there. You don’t seem to mind so she risks it and keeps trailing her hands up to the front of your chest and you still don’t stop her, even when she’s about to cup your breasts through your bra. You realise that you want her to touch you, you want her to unclip your bra and make you moan and you don’t want to stop. Melissa puts her hands on your bra and squeezes a bit and you moan. You still don’t stop the kiss and she moves her hands to your back to your bra clip and she undos it. She sees that you still don’t stop her so she moves her hands back and puts her hands underneath your bra, right on your breasts and she starts playing with them. You gasp this time and Melissa takes the opportunity to stick her tongue in your mouth and taste you. Melissa wraps her legs around your waist and pulls you closer to her.
You both pull away to breathe and you see how blown her pupils are and see the lust written all over her face. Her brain remembers where you both are for a second and she leans in to you. “If you want to do this now then I suggest you lock the door.” She says huskily in your ear and you shiver a bit. You then register what she says and you run to lock your door as she closes a few of your curtains. Just the ones where someone would be able to see you both.
You walk towards her as she’s leaning against the window sill, all sexy like you think and you smile. Once you reach her, she puts her hands on your hips and spins you around so that you’re against the window sill. She likes to take charge, you think, and you smile at that. You’ll let her take charge of you whenever she wants. You put your hands under her shirt and bring them up and to her back to unclip her bra and she lets you. You then snake them around to the front and you slide them under and feel her big full breasts and you moan and she pulls back. “You like my breasts hon?” She asks with a smile and you nod. She then takes her shirt and bra off for you to look at her chest without clothing in the way and your eyes widen. She then goes to take your shirt and bra off and you let her. She looks at your chest and she smiles. “So beautiful.” She says and you blush. She goes and sucks on your neck while you keep your hands on her breasts. You want to keep your hands on her breasts, I mean it’s not like you’ve been staring at them for 2 months with all her low cut shirts she likes to wear.
She moves from your neck to your nipples and you moan and this time you have to move your hands to the window sill or else you’d fall down right there. She presses her body up right against you when she pulls back from your nipples and kisses your lips, she snakes her hand down your pants and your underwear and finds you clit fast and rubs it. It’s a good thing she’s helping to keep you up or else you’d let gravity do its thing right there and fall. You also think it’s good she’s kissing you as you’d probably be loud enough for someone to hear.
“Keep quiet hon.” She tells you as she pulls back and then slides down your body and pulls your pants down and only has the patience to take them off one leg before spreading your legs. She then gets an idea as the floor here will hurt her legs. She goes back up and lifts you to sit on the window sill and spreads your legs that way, then dives down to your pussy and starts licking it like crazy. You bite your lip and do your best to keep quiet but her tongue is doing wonders on you and you let a few moans escape. She brings one hand up to your mouth and covers it with her hand. She then moves to your clit and tells you to suck on her finger, so you let her stick a finger in your mouth as she sticks another in your entrance and you suck on her finger instead of letting out noises.
She starts licking your clit with her tongue while fingering you and you keep quiet as best you could but she’s really good at what she’s doing. You let a couple of muffled noises escape so she pulls her tongue away and replaces it with her thumb. She pulls her finger out of your mouth and replaces it with her lips and tongue. You kiss her back and that gets you to keep quiet. You lean forward to kiss her too much at one point and end up falling off the window sill and on to her. With her fast reflexes she catches you and neither of you fall down but it does make her back up all the way to your desk. She turns you both around so you're against your desk and continues fingering you. You then realise someone could see you through one of the windows if they look and you push her backwards back to window. She gets the hint and allows it but still continues to finger you and you stop walking. She smirks and then picks you up and brings you the rest of the way. You’re close to an orgasm and Melissa realises as your legs start to shake and you’re breathing is faster. She rubs your clit faster and you come 5 seconds later, doesn’t stop though as she just keeps going.
You pull back from the kiss. “Mel- Melissa, please, it’s too much.” You tell her but make no other attempt to stop her.
“You can do it hon.” She tells you and you put your hand on her back and your mouth on her shoulder to have her closer and muffle your noises. You end up coming again and that’s when she pulls out. She helps keep you up for a few seconds and she licks her fingers and moans at your taste.
You help each other get dressed and fix your hair and reapply lip gloss. Anything to make sure you don’t look like you just fucked in your classroom.
“How about you come over to my place tonight? I’ll cook dinner and then we can continue what we started.” She says and you nod quickly. She giggles at your eagerness, gives your ass a playful slap, gives you a wink then walks out of your classroom. The bell is about to ring so you go to the door frame to greet your students as Barb walks by and looks at you.
“You might want to cover that hickey before Ava or your students notice.” She teases you and your cheeks go red.
“Wha-what hickey?” You stumble out and she chuckles. You take your phone out and put it on selfie mode and sure enough, there’s a hickey on your neck. You whip your head to Melissa and give her a glare. She just smirks at you and tries not to laugh and makes a heart shape with her hands to you. Barb sees the interaction and snorts and shakes her head.
“As happy as I am that you and Melissa got your heads out of your asses. Your students shouldn’t see this.” Barb tells you and ushers you in your classroom and quickly covers it with your makeup that you keep on you for emergencies. You never thought the emergency would be to cover up a hickey that Melissa gave you when you 2 had sex just before school but here you were. Barb quickly makes her way over to her classroom just in time for the bell to ring and you go and greet your students. You glance over at Melissa and she sends you a wink and you blush. You blow her an air kiss and she puts her hand over her heart.
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#melissa schemmenti x reader#melissa schemmenti x oc#melissa schemmenti x you#melissa schemmenti fanfic#melissa schemmenti#x reader#fanfic
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since this blurb will never see the light of day now that i accidentally deleted it while trying to edit it half asleep last night… i just need y’all to know the gist.
cw: exhibitionism, voyeurism??, maxiel being nauseating
(this is not a polished piece of writing)
POV nameless red bull social media team intern. he gets tasked with finding max and daniel to do one of those silly little reels where they’re answering trivia questions about the track they’re at or smth, gets warned that he might find maxiel in a… ahem… compromising position, intern thinks hahaha yeah they’re always doing something weird wink wink nudge nudge doesn’t think much of it bc they couldn’t possibly have meant….. (the intern is very new).
anyway poor intern knocks on the door of max’s motorhome and hears daniel’s voice saying to come in, thinks oh okay great they’re both in there i’ll kill 2 birds with one stone etc etc, opens the door and Hey! there’s 3 time world champion Max Verstappen getting his back blown out by once-again teammate (let’s gooo ricbull) Daniel Ricciardo! intern is stammering and embarrassed beyond belief and barely able to get out “i- i can come back another time…” but daniel gives him that megawatt smile and is like “come on in mate, we understand when duty calls, right maxy?” max just whines high in this throat and blinks at the intern like he’s not really seeing anything at all.
the intern stares as daniel pulls out of max gently, he can’t look away from daniel’s bare, Huge, still hard, lube-wet cock and prays to every entity in the universe that he doesn’t start to get hard. max just lays there making pitiful noises as daniel throws on a red bull polo that’s actually max’s if the breadth of the shoulders is anything to go by. he pulls on a cap over his clearly sex-mussed hair. daniel scoots on the couch, still naked from the waist down, to face the intern who has gingerly pulled up a chair. daniel twists to the side and reaches up to grab max by the hips and pull him closer, pushes his thighs apart and hooks 3 fingers into max while turning back to the intern and putting on his pr smile. “fire away!”
the intern just sits there holding the phone dumbly watching daniel stroke max from the inside with his right hand and gesture to him with his left. the intern glances down to where max’s soft splayed thighs and little pink cock are clearly visible at the bottom of the video frame. “they’ll close-crop it,” daniel assures him. the intern nods but then he’s like what about the sound…??? bc max is just exhaling raspy moans and whimpers and surely the video editors can’t be that good?? but daniel gazes adoringly down at max and is like “he can be quiet, he’s a good boy, aren’t you maxy?”
max immediately zips it, daniel does the trivia video fingering max slowly the whole time. the intern flees the scene asap but he’s barely closed the door behind him before he can hear max fucking moaning again. he adjusts himself in his pants and hurries off to put in his 2 week notice.
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May i req a Rocky Rickaby x fem or gn reader whose relationship is like Jessica and Roger Rabbit? Or Morticia and Gomez Addams? Everybody’s stunned as to how Rocky, the fucking CRAZY MAN OF THE CENTURY, managed to bag the only cat whose looks are beyond his level. And their personalities are like the textbook definition of opposites attract. Reader doesn’t care though, they’ll still be devoted and loving to Rocky ‘till the day they die.
(Bonus points if the reader is an artist like him, and is also touch starved as him)
You can do this req later or delete it if u wanna, no pressure! I really love your writing ❤️❤️
Rocky x fem reader with a relationship like Jessica and Roger Rabbit
A/n: Sorry this took so long! Was busier than expected ;-;, but anyways this was a really fun request to do as well! You guys send such great requests.
SFW but a bit suggestive towards the end.
-Anon you are absolutely on to something here let me say.
-Compared to Rocky’s more chaotic personality, you are more elegant and poised, but that doesn’t mean you’re any less passionate. You both share that fiery desire for one another even if you two couldn’t be any more different at first glance.
-You’re mainly known around the block for your fashion and self expression, not being afraid to experiment and be bold with your styles. So no doubt that’s how you first caught Rocky’s eyes.
- And Rocky quickly caught yours with the beautiful way he played the violin and his bizarre yet impenitent personality.
-What can I say, tormented artists that were made for eachother.
-You have Rocky wrapped around your finger, and he’s hopelessesly devoted to you. Any time he’s near you he just can’t help but smile and admire you…sometimes you can even catch his tail wagging-
-Your touch has him over the moon, and even the simplest scratch of the chin causes him to get all giddy with delight.
-He’s your number one supporter and defender. He takes great delight in seeing all the different outfits you make and the clothes you design, and if anyone has a problem with what you’re wearing he’ll make sure to deal with them accordingly.
-He’s very protective of you and has no issue of dealing with tomcats who are a bit too flirty with you. Just walks right up with that sharp-toothed smile of his and barely veiled threats of violence.
Right as the intermission starts Rocky hops off the stage and makes a beeline for you. A soft smile crosses your face as you greet him, beckoning him to sit next to you. However a passing tomcat gives you a suggestive comment and wink before walking away.
Rocky’s immediate reaction is to get up and follow that bastard, but he is stopped by you hooking a finger around his suspenders and pulling him back. You didn’t want him to waste his time talking to some greaseball when he should be talking to you. Plus he couldn’t be getting into fights this early into the night.
“Sit down Rocky.” You say looking him in the eyes.
“Yes Ma’am!”
-Make no mistake you’re just as protective as well. No one gets away with disrespecting your man.
-If someone is talking particularly loud during one of his performances, you shoot them a dirty look that shuts them up real quick.
-And if anyone dares to flirt or insult him in your presence, they’re in for a treat. While not as publicly confrontational as Rocky, you’re just as disturbing, if not more, with your confrontations.
-You wait until they are decently away from the crowd, or alone until you walk up to them with a sickly sweet smile painted on your face. The way your face and tone seem so calm, yet your words are vile and not to mention your eyes piercing right through them.
-Needless to say you consider your job done once they’re scared shitless.
-Rocky sometimes spots you doing this and it makes his heart swell with gratitude and pride. You truly care about him!
-Yeah you two are insane for eachother.
-While you dont mind PDA, Rocky appears to be the more clingy one in public. Which you don’t mind either you enjoy his touch. You even give him the occasional kiss here and there.
-But in private it’s a whole different story.
-It’s hard to tell if you’re stuck in Rocky’s grip or he’s stuck in yours. You find it hard to keep your hands off him!
-Rocky no doubt enjoys all this attention you give him, most days when you two come home after a long night he finds himself covered in lipstick stains from your kisses. His least favorite part of the day is washing it all off, he’d like to wear them proudly.
-You hate when he’s away all night doing bootlegging runs. It’s on lonely nights like those that your touchstarvedness truly shows.
-But Rocky is quick to make up for all that lost time.
You watch as Rocky passes the last of the stolen booze to Freckle, who walks out of the garage leaving you and Rocky alone. At first Rocky did not notice you were there as he closed the trunk. In fact he almost bumped straight into you as he turned to follow Freckle.
“Oh! Well what brought you down here dear?” He asks, his eyes widening in surprise and excitement. Rocky was more confused if anything, you usually never go into the garage. However you knew why you were in here, you didn’t know if you could last another hour without Rocky! You let out a dramatic sigh as you lean against him and he immediately wraps his arms around you.
“I just missed you, that's all honey…though I do have a certain request I’d like to make if you don’t mind…?” You asked as his ears perked up in interest, he seemed even more inclined after you started to play with his tie.
“I know after these little runs you like to stay at the speakeasy a bit longer…but I’m oh so tired and just want to wind down…would you like to come home with me Mr Rickaby?”
Your smirk grew wider as you tugged on his tie bringing his face closer to yours. “You think you can help me relax…?”
Rocky’s tail shot straight up as he looked at you, a wide grin on his face as he nodded his head. It didn’t take a lot of convincing with him.
“Yes Ma’am!”
#lackadaisy x reader#lackadaisy#rocky rickaby x reader#x reader#rocky rickaby#ask box#writing#Rocky definitely says yes ma’am/sir you can convince me otherwise
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addressing the drama (with receipts)
I wanted to have my ducks in a row before speaking out instead of just responding; I’m not doing this to change anyone’s opinions - it’s really not possible change someone’s perception of me even if it’s based on falsehoods - but I need to do this so I know I’ve said and shown what needs to be shown, and people can do with it what they please.
To the readers and writers who have blocked me, unfollowed me, and mutuals who have stopped talking to me over this - I’m really, really sad you didn’t come to me first and give me the opportunity to explain what was going on. I understand if you wanted to distance yourself from drama but I also need you to understand that this was not discourse-drama I willingly got myself into. This was a month of frequent harassment and slander that eventually turned into bullying by a group of people using false info, hiding behind side blogs and anons, and I hoped it would blow over but it never seemed to stop. With anons turned off for most of the last two months, people have gone to my friends’ inboxes instead to harass them about me (and insult them in the process), and I can’t do this anymore.
I feel so alienated and disliked in this community that I can’t go on the dash without feeling like I shouldn’t interact with anyone out of fear that they’ll get uncomfortable seeing me in their notifs. People keep saying they want the community to get better and then they jump on the bandwagon of vague posting and RBing without taking a second to verify the claims, clearly not realizing how much hurt it causes to perpetuate it. If you’re reading this, I hope your name isn't the next one they pull out of the hat when they want someone new to push off the platform.
Explanations, timelines and receipts below.
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For anyone waiting for an explanation regarding the posts and anons about me that have circulated for weeks, or waiting for receipts proving or disproving that I’m a mean girl who spends my time talking shit, here you go. I am so beyond hurt, I don’t even know what to say. I’m floored, I’m so disappointed in this community and I’m so sad. In the last two weeks, I stayed up until 4am one night receiving screenshots of posts and anons about me, I cried, I tried to understand why this has happened to me, and I have sat here day after day with no answers.
If you think I’m being melodramatic, try losing a quarter of your mutuals and having a bunch of people block you when you’ve had either no interaction with them or they’ve all been positive, and see how that feels, on top of constant rumors about you being a terrible person when you know you’ve barely had any negative interactions with anyone on the platform. I can’t be on tumblr any longer without exonerating myself and putting it out there that all of this has been one gigantic mess based on lies about me, seemingly compounded by grievances people have against Gracie (some one whose personal conversations have nothing to do with me). Either I do this, or I log out forever and only post on ao3, cause I feel like the fucking grim reaper here. Posts about me being an awful person are still circulating, despite the original post being deleted and the follow up stating that the OP has talked to me and they have apologized.
I’m not naming names in this. I will be using person A/B/C/D to make it less confusing. I’ve removed identifying information from the screenshots because even though I’m hurt by these people, I know that they will get dogpiled and harassed if I identify them, and I want it all to stop. Several have apologized to me and I have accepted.
Sometime in December, rumors started circulating that there was a “big/elite writers discord” where they talked shit about small writers (I’m not in any discords specifically for writers and I have never heard of such a server). At about the same time, person A - someone who was very active in my own, now-deleted discord server, started frequently vagueposting about me, calling me a mean girl and, intentionally or not, made it seem like I was part of this “elite group of writers”. This is someone who I have never had a negative interaction with and who seemingly out of nowhere decided that I call myself elite and I’m a terrible person.
Person B had some grievances with myself, Iris, and Gracie it seemed, so they went to person C and accused us of talking shit in our voice chats. I assume person A and B have talked about me at some point and validated each other’s claims, but I can't know that for sure. Person B messaged me from a burner account and apologized, then seemingly deleted the account after I responded.
Gracie frequently posted about us three chatting, and although I understand this might have felt alienating to some, many writers are open about having group chats with each other. All we did was write, edit, and Gracie sometimes made memes. We talked about non-fic stuff often, and when Gracie had an issue with other writers and she was upset, we talked about it. That’s what friends do. She knows that I believe those situations were handled poorly. One of those situations came to light recently - I had a very pleasant conversation with the writer involved, and we are still in touch.
I have spoken to person C, who posted the most “popular” smear post about me and some of my friends. They retracted their statements and profusely apologized to us, admitting it was based on stuff they heard from person B, showing me screenshots of the conversation. However, their original posts are still circulating through reblogs despite being deleted from their account.
Person D also posted about me and my friends, however their post was sort of ridiculous, accusing me of spending more time replying to anons than writing. I found this funny, but the way they slut shamed my friend was absolutely not humorous, and dragging a random writer in to criticize them was a strange attempt at adding fuel to the fire.
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And for the receipts,
I blocked person A after seeing a handful of vague posts clearly about me, and after they interacted with every single rude anon posted about me that I saw. I think that’s reasonable, no? I’m not gonna post screenshots of their posts cause I honestly just don’t want to look at them again, they make me feel kind of sick if I'm honest, but if anyone doesn’t believe me, they are welcome to DM me and I will send.
Person B messaged me, admitted to partaking in this mess, and apologized. This is part of a LONG message:
Person C apologized over message and called me on discord. We had a conversation clearing things up, they deleted their posts and wrote a public apology.
If you need any proof that person B’s claims were, in fact, baseless, look at this exchange between person B and person C after person C had cleared things up with me.
Person D honestly just creeps me out, cause what the fuck is this? Fine if you don’t like me based on my writing or my persona on here but… Why the witch hunt?
ETA: Person C asked person D to take down their post and they never responded. This was sent prior to that, I know the full context, I just thought this specific part was worth sharing to show how vile some people allow themselves to be behind burner accounts.
What kind of behavior is this? This was from a sideblog, and I don't know what their main account is. It creeps me the fuck out knowing this person is lurking somewhere in the community.
I have hated every moment of this. None of this has been fun for me. This has completely fucked up my motivation to write and my enjoyment of it, it has made me anxious, it has messed with my self esteem, and it has made me want to log out of Tumblr and not come back.
Please, I beg, if you have an issue with me, just come to me and I promise I will have a conversation with you. You can’t tell people’s tone over anon and I don’t think that’s a good way to have a conversation, especially one about something that should be solved in private, so they remain off, but my DM’s are open.
I'm so sick of seeing vagueposts and trying to decipher if they're about me. Having to do that a bunch of times messes with your head.
I'm not sure what to do moving forward, but I needed to say my piece. I don't want to talk about this again, I want to put this behind me. I seriously hope this doesn't wreck my last remaining want to share my writing on here.
Thanks again to everywhere who has supported me in my DMs and comments, you mean the world to me 🤍🤍🤍 And if you found yourself duped by all this but change your opinion on me now or eventually, I won't hold a grudge, and I'm happy to speak again and pick up where we left off.
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This is another post compiling campaigns of Palestinians who’ve reached out to me, in the hopes this gets them more traction & attention. I have one other post already completed, & will be working on more. Please contribute if you have anything to spare, & share this post either way. Campaign progress reflects the date of when I am making this post, on 8/21/24
@musababd – vetted by 90-ghost – £4,396 / £8,000
Musab is raising money for shelter & daily resources for his family, & eventually to complete his engineering studies so he can rebuild his community. He lost over £2,000 he previously raised to a scammer, so please support him now! He’s just over halfway to his goal.
@save-salam-family – vetted by 90-ghost – €22,028 / €40,000
Salam & her husband Mohamed are raising evacuation fees for themselves & their two small children. They’re halfway there! Let’s get them the rest of the way.
@amna-merwan – vetted by 90-ghost – €13,892 / €40,000
Amna is raising evacuation funds for her family, including her 3 small children. They’re almost halfway to their goal.
@saveyouseffamily – vetted by 90-ghost & The Butterfly Project, #406 on the spreadsheet – €3,748 / €20,000
Youssef’s infant son is extremely sick with a respiratory illness. He’s fundraising for Majd’s treatment outside of Gaza, as well as evacuation fees & relocation expenses. Low on Funds & URGENT
@salahaldinahhorsblog – vetted by 90-ghost – €5,442 / €40,000
Salahaladin is fundraising to evacuate himself, his wife, & their three daughters, as well as get them medical care. Low on Funds
@adham89s– I remember (& have checked for correlation) this being vetted by 90-ghost on a previous blog, when I tried to find it, that blog seems to have been deleted by tumblr, along with the verification proof. I cannot vet campaigns myself but I trust this.– €3,911 / €100,000
Mohammed is trying to evacuate his large family, they are very far from their goal, please share contribute! Low on Funds
@basma-ramez – unvetted, & I cannot verify campaigns myself, but I see no reason not to think this is legit – €125 / €20,000
Basma is raising evacuation funds, & she is Extremely Low on Funds, not even 1k towards her goal. Please contribute & share!
@mohalwadiya – unvetted, & I cannot verify campaigns myself, but I see no reason not to think this is legit – $2,062 / $35,000
Mohammed is raising evacuation funds for his wife & daughter, his orphaned niece, & his elderly parents.This campaign is Low on Funds.
@abedallhferwanagaza / @olaferwana – I can’t find verification, but I remember this family’s story & checking for it about a month ago. I’ve checked both blogs again, & trust them. – €2,691 / €35,000
Ola is raising funds to evacuate herself & her three children (including an infant) so they can reunite with her husband in Egypt. This campaign is Low on Funds.
@abuadamfamily / @mohammedalanqer – vetted by 90-ghost, fairuzfan, nabulsi – €56,967 / €58,000
Mohammed & Enas are raising evacuation funds for themselves & their 4 children (including a newborn). While they’re close to their goal, please keep in mind that every day with the border closed means that these funds need to be used for necessities, & they’ll have less money towards evacuation fees when the crossing opens. Please continue to support the Alanqer family too!
#palestinian fundraiser#palestinian gfm#palestinian gofundme#gfm ref for self#dial p for post#i have about 90 more messages in my inbox i will keep making these posts as long as people keep asking me for help.#i'll try to have another up by friday
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