#That is already a bug snack

[susivoi]

Cambus is a bit of a chef himself-

Cambus's ref lol

-

Commissions!

[obsob]

here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud!!

✷(print shop)✷

[usernameproxy]

introducing y'all to my oc dekora pugnax! he's a fighter in an underground boxing ring and also just a lil guy!! he's a birthday boy!! it's his birthday!!!

[dutybcrne]

Love the idea of Kae getting used to eating consistent meals bc of a significant other or even a friend who made it a point to always eat with him to ensure he doesn't forget, and even gaining a little weight as a result, even with his metabolism.

[yakkitylylac]

internet still shot so yknow what that means

[brainrotdotorg]

imagine a dashboard for alligators. what do you think that would look like

2 notes

🍏gatoridae Follow

Controversial opinion. If you're doing nothing but eating meat, what are you even doing. Remember to include bugs, fruits, and legumes into your diet in order to help aid digestion of the meat that you get from snakes, fish, and mammals.

Just because we have the reputation for eating lots of meat, that doesn't mean we have to stick to it.

🥒biting-you-biting-you Follow

counterpoint: fuit yucky

🪵blog-from-a-bog Follow

wdym reputation of eating meat. i float lik ea log thats what im known for

4,904 notes

🌿swamp-ass Follow

asked dad if i could go and steal some Floridian guy's lunch and he said "we have prey at home" girl we have been doing shit ALL DAY i am an awesome 600 pounds and I need some meat left on me to deathroll with. let me get a quick snack that i don't need to kill mmmmmmm burgers I want people food soooooo badddd....... i know they shouldn't feed it to me but I have such a lovely smile oh please oh please give me your burger.........

182 notes

🥗aliali-seeyoulater Follow

mom says it was cold the season she laid me so i have to be a girl. because girls are always born from eggs laid during cold seasons.

cope and seethe mother first of all, second of all, the reason i am transgender is because you kept me too fucking snuggly warm in the nest.

#i guess if you wanted a daughter you should have. idk. made a shittier nest? #thats not really my fault man

81,337 notes

⛰fuckyeahhugesnout Follow

You'll never guess how I just learned that we have the honor of being the "loudest reptiles in the world"

🫑teethem Follow

Yeah yeah, the 90 decibel mating bellow, we've all heard it.

🤢ch0mper Follow

we've all heard the what

135,633 notes

🩲gaytorrr Follow

this guy asked if i wanted to see his gator hole and i said fuck yes. why this boy take me into a 65 foot long hole in the mud at the bottom of the lake

6,421 notes

🏞daily-clawsitivity

✨Remember to take it easy sometimes!✨We thrive in slow-moving waters!✨Even though we can run fast, we get tired fast too-- it's okay to let yourself take breaks!✨Let yourself relax, that's how we made it this far as a species.

mud-rocks-deactivated20140706

Yeah, imagine telling your prehistoric great great great great great great great great great great grandpa or something to calm down and relax when he should be doing nothing but deathrolls. the longevity of the species should be your only goal. It's irresponsible to encourage your fucking species to fall behind even more than it already has? Have some pride, you're not a crocodile.

scalesssss-deactivated20150310

jesus christ calm down

alidile-crocogator-deactvated20140709

Okay, this post has a lot of misconceptions in it. There aren't as many differences between crocodiles and alligators than you think. It's really harmful to think that we have nothing in common with each other. So what if they're carnivores and we're closer to omnivores, or their snouts are more U shaped while ours are V shaped. We're both badass miracles of nature that have no reason to be pit against one another all the time.

Don't listen to guys like this. It's just hateful and small-minded.

stop-jawlock-androll-deactivated20140911

crocs are like. like them shoes that float right

wetlandia898 Follow

i wish i was a crocodile because i could have a virgin birth and i wanted to see what it would be like to eat an immaculate conception.

bigchallengesrealblog-deactivated20190412

welcome to the no notes gator/croc discourse post.

🦖l8rg8tr-z Follow

omg this is the post.... i can't believe i would see this naturally on my dash

🎍taildraggers Follow

Uh are we just going to ignore the virgin birth reply orrrrrrrrr

🐊gator-heritage-posts

gator heritage post

0 notes

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Follow

hgwiow h

hsfhjs

howw ws i nbevyrboy tyopingssaog oo vd wi hhrth rh thrre cl alawas ?>>

🌴a-l-g-t-r Follow

lmao this idiot never learned how to use their tail to type

#/j lol yeah its kind of hard at first #actually i'd say cut your losses and forget how to type bring the laptop back to the dumpster its not worth it

39 notes

🐍bellowbellowmygoodfellow Follow

am i fucking stupid. i just learned theres another species of alligator other than just me and the guys in my swamp. and i said "oh wow I didn't know that! which one of the two are we haha" and my buddy just stared at me like I was a fucking idiot. how am i supposed to know if no one ever tells me this . WHICH AM I

🍖meet-eat3r Follow

there are only 70-80 mature chinese gators in existence while there are 750,00-1 million mature american gators . do the math.

🐍bellowbellowmygoodfellow Follow

i could have just hatched you don't know me.

20,570 notes

🍀gatortears Follow

a group of queer gators in church call that a congregaytion

#reblogging this one bc none of you appreciate me

1 notes

👞makemeintoshoesdaddy Follow

I'm seeing the no notes gator/croc post circulate again and ha ha yes it's very funny, but we are NOT starting gator/croc discourse in 2024. lets leave that shit in the past. i know that's not what the post really ended up being about but i am soooooo sick of it.

🌾clawstothewalls Follow

okay, so the one with a fetish for getting turned into handbags is gonna talk down to us now.

👞 makemeintoshoesdaddy Follow

Not to be a pedant but its Shoes Actually. It even says so in the name. Shoes.

2,663 notes

[cvnt4him]

How about, instead of walking in on your husband Izuku jerking off, we have you walking in on your best friend Izuku jerking off by accident, cause you were supposed to watch a movie together :)

I like the way you think nonnie/nonnette<33

It's been a while since I've written an actual fic!!!! I enjoyed this

When izuku, your best friend, texted you asking you to come over his to watch a movie you were over the moon. You'd missed your bestie so much and hadn't seen him in so long! He went to some super fancy schmancy college called yuei, it was like supposedly the best college yk like Yale n Harvard n shit.

He was back in town and you didn't know until JUST now. What kind of best friend is he?! He was back in town for a week and hadn't told you? Come on. Of course you were going, you missed him and there was no way in hell you weren't gonna see him.

He was gonna get one hell of a pout though! On your way over to his house you thought about getting him something from the local corner store, y'know just as a welcome back gift. You fiddled with your charm bracelet that had both of your initials on it as you chewed on your lower lip and stared at the window.

You knock on izukus door with a bag of gummy worms, when he was younger he had an odd fascination with finding bugs in the dirt and became infatuated with gummy worms and their brand. They were so sour yet so sweet, he enjoyed them last time you remembered.

Izuku opens the door rather quickly with an expressionless face up until he seen yours. That silly little pout that you'd practiced all night for. His smile was bright and warm before he seen that little pout on your face, his smile turning into a mischievous smirk.

“ well, are you gonna come inside or are y’just gonna sit there with that adorable lil’ pout on your face?”

Oh. Suddenly you felt your cheeks warming, you look up to him n see a little smirk painting his features. Had he always been this sexy, and this... tall? He leaned on the door frame one arm above him and the other on the door handle before he moved out of the way to let you inside.

You swallowed hardly and walked past him, you looked up to him seeing the way his eyes followed you watching you very closely. You went straight to the couch and took a seat on the very edge. Izuku closed the door and walked over to you, with a small chuckle as he sat next to you, scooting back and putting his arm on the edge of the couch.

“ whaddya wanna watch, bug?”

Your breath hitched at the nickname. You hadn't heard it in so long, he had been gone for over 3 years. He gave you the name when you were kids, you would help him find bugs wherever you could, you never wanted to touch them so you always used a stick.

“ uh.. whatever is uh, fine.”

You say as you stammer on your words and hand him the snack you brought him, he was controlling the TV with the remote before the crinkling of the bag caught his attention, his wide eyes turned down to look at the bag in your hand before he turned to look at you. His eyes blinking a few times before he smiled.

“ ‘s for me bug? thank you!”

Izuku took the bag and held your hand whilst it was still in it, his bright smile returning with a chuckle. He took the bag and pulled you into a tight hug, you groaned and held him back his smell was intoxicating and mesmerizing. It was so pungent and left a big strong impact. Once he pulled away he patted your head and turned back towards the TV putting on some random movie.

“ so uh.. how long do you plan on staying?”

You spoke trying to clear the silence despite the moving being on. He didn't answer right away, not looking at you ad he gathered an answer.

“ well I've already been here for about 2 weeks and— ”

“ TWO WEEKS?!”

TWO. WEEKS. he's been here for TWO WEEKS and he didn't think about contacting you until NOW?! For fucks sake this guy sucks ass through a straw! You looked at izuku with a stunned get angry look. He couldn't help but to chuckle at you and turn his attention back to the movie. As if he had nothing to say to you.

“ so, buggy, how've you been? Any uh, romances I need to know about?”

Izuku spoke suddenly as he chewed on the candy you got him. He was watching the TV as you hummed in acknowledgement, you went to a college as well it wasn't as high and mighty as izukus but it was a place that could give you a degree or whatever. You hadn't really been with anyone recently, you'd just gotten out of a relationship about a month before izuku got back, it didnt mean too much to you do you didnt shed any years but uh, y'know.

“ not really, I mean did have a boyfriend — ”

Izukus eyes shot over to you within an instant of hearing the word 'boyfriend'. Izuku hummed in disapproval, he didn't like what he just heard. His face told it very well, he swallowed and turned his head fully listening to what you have to say now.

“ but uh, we broke up. like a month ago or something, t’wasnt really serious.”

He hummed once more, nodding slightly. His expression seemed to relax a bit more at the end of your sentence, but he was still somewhat on edge.

“ what about you? any baby mamas i need to know about?”

Your words snapped him out of whatever daze he was in, causing him to get flustered and snicker a bit he hid his face while he laughed and caught his breath. Izuku had changed a lot, he knew that. He gained a lot of mass and muscle, he got taller, and he was a pretty attractive guy well around. Of course he'd had a couple of girlfriends and friends with benefits.

“ nope. no babies or baby mothers for me.”

You giggled at the way he spoke, clearing your throat and turning to face him.

“ any girlfriend? boyfriend?”

He scoffed and rolled his eyes. He licked his lips and ticked his tongue, humming and chewing on his lip as if he were thinking.

“ well, I'm not in a relationship perse, but I had a fling.”

“ oh yeah? tell me about it handsome face.”

Izuku perked up at the name, a slight blush painting his cheeks while he cleared his throat.

“ just some girl in my classes who stays on campus with me. we used to date but uh, it didn't work out.”

“ so instead of staying away you decided to rekindle your 'love' by fucking her. you should honestly write a romance novel.”

“ fuck you.”

He says flustered as he turned his face, you burst out laughing slapping your knees and nearly falling off the couch. You lean back and catch your breath tears prickling at the side of your eye.

“ oh yeah yeah, it wasn't that funny.”

“ you're right kid, it was hilarious.”

“ I'm older than you?!”

His shrilly voice and the reaction he made had you dying all over again, you laughed loudly and almost lost all your breath coughing and gasping for air. Your side began hurting from all the laughing and you leaned against him holding your side in pain.

“ hmph. that's what you get.”

“ awwhh~ gettin’ all pouty wif’ me zuzukins?”

You tease him in a baby voice with a faux pout and leaned your head closer to his, your cheek right up against his shoulder. He groaned at the tone of turn voice and the name you called him, slightly cringing as he rolled his eyes and looked down at you.

You felt his breath slightly fanning your face, his slandered expression becoming rather expressionless now, serious in some sort. A small grin was still present on your face as you exhaled through your nose while looking up at him. You noticed the way he licked his lips, a quick swipe of his pick tongue going over his top then bottom lip. It's as if it played in slow motion.

Your smile dropped as you looked at his lips then back up to his eyes, he was staring right back at you, just not your eyes. A small smirk appeared on his face, his eyes trailed back up to yours. Before you knew it your foreheads were touching, your breath hitched at the sudden realization of the contact.

Izukus eyes moved back down to your lips, yours doing the same. Your noses gently rubbing against each others before he leaned in quickly and —

“ izuku honey, I'm home! you would never believe what happ—- oh!”

You two quickly snapped apart, your breathing was heavy as if you'd been stripped of all of your hair, izuku was breathing just ad heavy through his nose. Stammering on his words as he stood and greeted his mother who's eyes were locked onto you.

You cleared your throat and stood, this was quite awkward now. Izuku was rambling on about whatever and inko was just smiling warmly. She didn't hold at judgement or teasing behind your eyes or smile. Just a warm smile.

“ it's good to see you dear.”

“ haha, you too inko. erm, izuku id better uh, head home it's pretty late y'know?”

His head turned towards you, he instantly stopped talking as his brows furrowed slightly. Truth be told he didn't want you to leave. He didn't know what'd just happened between you two but he didnt want it to end.

“ are you sure? It's pretty late you could just stay the night like old times! I don't want you walking out late.”

“ awh, y’ worried about me zu?”

“ I just want you to be safe.”

He said quite sternly. It wasn't necessarily a lie, he had wanted you to be safe. He cared about you and your well being. It's just be better if you'd stayed there with him! For safety. And all.

“ thank you for the concern but I'll be fine, I'll even text you once I make it since you 'cawe so mwuch'”

You tease ending your sentence with air quotes and a baby voice. He scoffed looking rather angry and rolling his eyes. Your teasing manner instantly vanished at the sudden cold shoulder he'd just given you.

“ fine. whatever, see ya I guess.”

“ uh.. yeah. b- bye.”

You walked past him and turned back to the door as you were outside before it was almost slammed in your face. You were stunned beyond speaking. It's like you were knocked out of your body, you actually felt like crying even. Why was he suddenly being an ass? Whatever.

You walked home thinking long and hard about what you could've done or said to piss him off. Was it not staying when he asked? Maybe you'd teased him too much, y'know pushed and poked at his buttons. You groan in anger with yourself as you walk inside and jump right into your bed. You sigh heavily grabbing your phone and thinking about texting him. Maybe he didn't want to hear from you. You thought about it and realized you didn't give a shit.

" hey!!!!"

"made it home:))"

"k"

The absolute lovely fuck?! 'k' who the fuck just says 'k' like that. Fucking lame ass loser. You groaned loudly even angrier than before he was being an unreasonable dick because of what?? Hes just being a whiney little shit because you wouldn't stay over. It was late and you didn't feel like being away from right too long. Why couldn't he get that? You turned over and closed your eyes to try and sleep through the anger.

It's been about a week since you two last talked. Izuku was still being as dry as ever, not giving you anything when you two text. Just "oh"s and "lol"s like huh? Okay, give us nothing.

Your eyes were glued to your phone the entire time you were out with your friend. You kept letting out quick and timid sighs. This was like your 5th one in a singular minute. That has GOT to be a world record.

“ ya’ alright?”

“ huh?? Oh. Yeah.”

“ uh- y’sure? yer’ actin kinda weird.”

“ ‘m fine. Just pissed off.”

“ wanna talk about it?”

No. You wanted to run over to that shitty green haired humanized bunny ass prick and best his ass. Why was he acting so weird. There is no way he's still hung up over you not staying over that one time. He hadn't texted you in like.. 3 years and the second he gets back in town, he invited you over for a movie and flips out once you try to go home???? The fuck?

“ my friends just being a dick s’all.”

“ guy or girl?”

“ ...guy.”

“ he probably likes you.”

The absolute shock that went into your face. You literally let out some kind of noise at the absurd statement. There was no way in hell he liked you. Especially not if he were acting like this. Last time you remembered izuku was a sweetheart, not some stone cold dickhead who pouts and gets all angry when things don't go his way..................................

okay well he at least wasn't a stone cold dickhead.

This was actually typical behavior for izuku now that you think about it. You scoffed to yourself and a smile appeared on your face. That's it! Izuku was just being pouty because he didn't have his way! You solved it!

You laughed aloud and thanked your friend before literally sprinting down the street to catch the nearest bus. Your friend was literally so confused and yelled out to you, unbeknownst to you, you left without paying the bill like you agreed...

You got off the bus and headed straight to izukus house, running past the shop that you'd gotten his candy from. A few turns down some streets and you were there. Once you are at his street you stopped next to a fire hydrant and caught your breath, wheezing and nearly dying from the lack of air. You inhaled sharply and choked on the air that invaded your lungs in such an uncomfortable way.

You sucked up the horrible feeling and continued to jog to his door which wasn't too far. Once you were there you made sure to look somewhat presentable so you could get ready to beat his ass for being a whiney little bitch. You made sure your hair looked nice and sprayed on some perfume you had in your bag. You take one final breath before knocking on the door.

“ oh? Hello?- oh! Y/n dear, welcome welcome, come in come in!”

“ hello Mrs midoriya! It's good to see you as well, haha! ya’think I could go up n’ see izuku?”

“ of course hon, I'm sure he'll be happy to see you! you go one up, I'll just be in here if you need me.”

“ thank you Mrs midoriya!”

You walk up the stairs with no hurry at the beginning. You stop in your tracks and think to yourself; "what the hell am I doing." You sprint up the stairs with a motive and fake anger in your head. You stomp down the hall and make it to his childhood room door and twist the nob, slamming the door open. Unfortunately for you, you made the mistake of not knocking......

“ izuku midoriy— uh.”

You were frozen in place, your cheeks warming up at the explicit sight. Your friend best friend had his head thrown back and he looked as if he was experiencing pure ecstasy. He was groaning quietly yet so whimpery at the same time, his brows were stitched together and his eyes were closed, slightly fluttering and showing that his eyes were rolled into the back of his head.

Your mouth just hung open at the sight. Your childhood friend, the guy who'd always been so scrawny and weak was sitting here jacking off, and that wasn't even the problem. It was the fact that this guy was ripped.. you knew he'd gotten bigger since the last time you'd saw him, but wow.. as if getting taller wasn't enough, he had to go and get more muscle too, abs n shit. And fuck.... Your eyes accidentally trailed down. You swear up and down it was an accident, really. But gosh it looked so appetizing.

His cock wasn't exactly like.. looong, perse just like. Really really really thick. Like this guy was big. It was twitching against his hand as he stroked it, as far as you could see two veins painted the sides of his girthy cock. His hand wrapped around it but just barely, only his middle finger and thumb touched around it. Seeing how he could hardly even wrap his large hand around his cock had you thinking what it'd look like if your hand was around it...his tip was huge red and leaky, a glob of precum dripped down the side of his shaft and he was quick to swirl his hand around his cock bringing his thumb up to the tip of it and circling it fastly making him whimper.

He bit his lip and tried to muffle his moans that wanted to escape, that wanted to be heard. He had headphones in and obviously didn't notice you were there, he was watching porn on his laptop you'd guess as it was sitting on his thighs. He wasn't even watching more or less just listening. You couldn't take your eyes off of his cock and the way he touched it. It was so mesmerizing and hypnotizing. he bucked his hips into his hand a couple of times and laid his head back in his pillows. Little ropes of "fuck!"s And "oh yeah!"s left his lips. He looked so good like this, all desperate and yearning for release. Despite how bad he seemed to want it, it also seemed as if he was edging himself. Not yet letting himself cum.

His other hand came down to squeeze his balls lightly which made him whisper something. You didn't quite catch it but just your luck, he said it again. Still in a hushed tone, just a bit louder.

“ fuck! y/n, just like that...”

Oh. Your breath hitched and your thighs squeezed themselves together. You bit your lip and couldn't help the fiery feeling that erupted inside. You could practically just feel your cunt throbbing from his words. Was he really thinking about.. you?! Why were you just standing here watching... He's your friend for fucks sake and your watching him in a private moment! You're a weirdo! A perv! And worst of all his mom is right outside and could come up at any given moment! Have you no shame woman!

You seen how tightly he squeezed his cock, his knuckles turning white as his eyebrows knitted together. Sweat was beading at his forehead and his face was red and hot by the looks of it. His had breaths quickened and the movements of his hand had gotten sloppy, he couldn't help the whines that started leaving his lips.

“ please! want it— wna’ cum!”

“ please please please, y/n!~”

He sped up his movements just a bit more before he started cumming. He let out the most quivery and gutteral moan ever, it was all whiney and breathy and oh so desperate. He kept going despite cumming, stroking him twitching cock as it spewed out long thick ropes of his milky white cum. It shot far all over his tummy his hands some even on his face. It was quite a sight to see him all sweaty and disheveled like this, covered in his own cum as well. Your eyes still hadn't trailed away from him or his cock, he used his other hand to swirl his palm around the tip of his cock causing him to bite his lip hardly and basically scream. He tried to muffle it, he did but it was quite loud. You were lucky his mom didn't call out. Your breath hitched as you seen the reaction. It was so adorable yet slutty, he was overstimulating himself.

You watched as he calmed down, fluttering his glossy eyes open and looking at the mess he'd made. He looked at the computer before realizing.... There was someone standing at his door...

He turned his attention to you before his eyes shot wide open and he got extremely red in embarrassment.. you both just looked at each other, speechless. Neither of you blinking, speaking, or even breathing. His computer had slightly shifted off of his thighs now that they were relaxed and your eyed had accidentally trailed to the screen, it was bad enough that he was moaning your name while fucking himself, but there was a picture of you on his computer right next to the open tab of porn asking to be replayed.

" man gets fucked by dom mommy!!! [Pegging included!!]"

Wow. You didn't think this was the kind of thing that got him off. You gulped and turned your eyes back to him, his eyes filling with tears his breath was shaky, not just from cumming but from pure disbelief. His mouth was agape and his lips were dried. The post nut clarity was hitting him HARD. he tried to convince himself it was just a hallucination from all that edging he'd been doing.

“ tsk.... so uh. I'm gonna js’ see myself out...”

The second you spoke he closed his eyes and tears had fell down his cheeks. He covered his face with his hands despite being covered in cum. He truly was a filthy pig and he felt it.

You closed his door and walked out silently. Walking down the stairs and not even saying anything to his mother who had wished you a good night and everything. You were too stunned to speak. Quite literally. You walked all the way back to your house speechless, your mind was empty as well. Literally no words could come to mind or to your throat.

You laid in bed staring at the ceiling thinking about what you'd seen. The images just flashing in your mind like a camera. Fuck... The squelching noises you heard from his cock being so wet.. oh, and the way he threw his head back moaning... Goodness when he came?! It was like he was shooting planks! And it was just so much!! How can a guy cum that much!!!!! You covered your face with your hands and groaned. There was no way it wasn't gonna be awkward.

Literally three days past before you realized you didn't even get to speak to izuku. It angered you again that you never got to give him a piece of your mind. Being the person you were, you got dressed and walked to his house getting ready to probably make the same mistake again. You sigh and knock on his front door, because clearly you need to learn how privacy works.

“ oh! Y/n, to what do I owe the lovely surprise!”

“ just here to see izuku is all!”

The way her face contorted from happiness to nervousness within an instant. It made your smile fade aswell. The silence was a bit too loud for your liking, it was beginning to get a bit awkward..

“ I'm sorry honey but, izuku left yesterday. He said he had to leave early for an upcoming project he forgot about.”

Oh ... Your mouth opened and shut like a goldfish. Hed run away. He left town and probably wasn't going to return. He was so fucking scared he actually ran awake like the pussy he'd always been. You were suddenly filled by a rush of anger. You bid his mother a good day and rushed back home.

You sat at your desk and pulled out your laptop getting ready to text him through email because you'd already texted him through his number, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, even Snapchat! He just kept leaving you on delivered. This motherfucker.

You'd sent him a total of 315 messages in between every app, email, and messaging. Not only did izuku not answer, he didn't even look at them. And by the next day he had unfollowed you on everything and blocked you. There was no way to get in contact with him....

Through your phone at least.

AN: how we feeling w this one chat? Did I cook?! Rs I really enjoyed this bc it's been SO LONG since I've written an actual fIc like HWHAYATATAAYA.

Also, I have ALOT of reqs I'm DROWNIGN in and I've answer alot of them and have like fics n shit like basically ready to go I just like lost motivation to give them actual endings so... Yeah!!!

[jji-lee]

nipple piercings .

(MINORS DNI)

pt.2 !

ot7 x reader , nipple play / breast play , inspired by this request

you had just gotten home from a girls day with your best friend, meaning you were worn out, oh and in pain. you and your friend had agreed to do something a little wild and get piercings together, turns out wild to your friend meant to get her belly button pierced, maybe you should've stuck with her idea of wild. now as you looked into the mirror you saw your nipples, swollen and sore, a cute shiny bar pierced right through them. you winced as you brought your hands up to touch them. why did you think this was a good idea?

on top of the pain your phone wouldn't stop ringing your groupchat notifications coming in one after the other.

hyuckie bear! : hellooo is y/n coming i'm only going if she is

junnie 💛 : no seriously why would i willingly hang out with a group of men

nana 🫂 : of course she's coming she always does guysss don't be lame we haven't had movie night in agessss 🥺

my 94 🎸: y/nnnn respond pleaseeee are you coming???

ji bug 👩‍🍼 : y/nnn i just broke my legssss ITS AN EMERGENCYY

puppy 💋 : the way she doesn't care 😭😭

big head baby 💞 : whatever losers i'm calling her

your phone began to ring, chenle's profile pic of him stuffing his face with marshmallows shining on the screen.

"yes chenle, what is it?"

you could hear him giggling to someone on the other end,

"y/n, y/n hellooo, are you coming? we have movie night remember?"

you let out a sigh as you slumped down into your bed,

"uh, i don't know lele i'm kinda tired tonight, can we reschedule?"

you could practically see his reaction from the sound of his voice,

"what? no way! you know we all have have midterms soon, and then it's just studying studying studying, we won't get to see you! tell her ji!"

he passed the phone to jisung,

"y/n can you come please, we miss you, i miss you, just for one movie okay? and then jeno can drive you home!"

you heard jeno in the background yell something along the lines of, i didn't agree to that! and chenle shushing him before grabbing the phone again,

"okay well haechan's on his way! see you soon!"

he hung up before you could answer, leaving you staring at your phone screen. it's just a couple hours right? and you won't get to see the boys again after a while so, maybe you should just go, who knows you might have fun.

.

your outfit was comfortable, not by choice of course, but comfortable nonetheless. you put on your largest tee, praying the material wouldn't graze your nipples, making sure to apply some ointment before leaving, hoping that it would soothe the soreness. so far, not so good. but you were already at jisung and chenle's shared dorm, sitting cross legged on the couch.

you had avoided the greetings as best as you could, resorting to a quick kiss on the cheek instead of your usual hug. thankfully nobody questioned it, boys just happy to see you.

the dorm started filling up, only haechan missing as you all sat around the tv, scrolling through the movie options on netflix. jaemin sat next to you, head on your shoulder as he scrolled through his phone. he sniffed loudly, head coming up to put his nose close to your neck,

you looked down at him, wondering what was wrong. he giggled at you, as he placed his head back on your shoulder,

"weird, you smell like ointment."

you chuckled nervously, did you overdue it with the cream?

"oh uh, yeah, just have some muscle soreness, doctor gave me some cream for it."

he hummed, turning his focus back to his phone. mark scooted in next to you, offering you some popcorn. you thanked him as you took a handful, a grimace on your face as you tasted the snack.

"mark, why do you always put too much salt."

his eyes widened as he tried the popcorn himself,

"dude, i swear i just put a tiny bit!"

you flinched as a pair of large hands grabbed your shoulders from behind,

"put a tiny bit of what? did mark put too much salt in the popcorn again?"

you turned your head, not surprised to see that haechan was the one making fun of mark. he leaned down to give you a quick peck on the cheek before walking around the couch to find a seat.

"sorry i'm late guys, traffic is a bitch."

renjun walked into the living room, ruffling his wet hair,

"nobody cares, wait, you don't even drive?"

haechan motioned for jaemin to move over so he could squeeze in next to you, rolling his eyes at renjun's comment.

"buses also get stuck in traffic you know!"

you all laughed as renjun called haechan a name, before everyone turned their attention to the tv, everyone but haechan that is.

"hi baby, gonna give me a proper hello or do i have to beg?"

you side eyed haechan, used to his antics.

"you already said hello, remember?"

you pointed at your cheek where he pecked you earlier.

"i meant a real hello, like a hug, come here."

before you could protest haechan's arms wrapped around you pulling you into a hug.

"wait, hyuck, wait, OW!"

haechan quickly let go of you, confused by your sudden reaction,

"i'm sorry, are you okay, did i hurt you?"

everyone's attention was now on you and haechan, waiting to see if you were okay.

"oh yeah, my bad, just kinda have sore muscles."

you brought your hand up to hold your arm, pretending to have pain there. you heard jeno chuckle from his seat on the floor in front of you.

"sore? from what? you're going to the gym now?"

you pushed his head, offended by his mocking tone,

"for your information lee jeno, i do actually-OW!"

you flinched, hands coming up to cover your breasts. you turned to see jaemin leaned over haechan reaching forward towards your chest. he giggled before turning his head to look at haechan, arm still stretched out towards you,

"see i told you, it's her nipples that are sensitive."

you slapped his arm away, before wrapping you arms over your breasts again.

"what the hell jaemin! have you lost your mind?"

he blushed slightly leaning back away from haechan, sitting up in his seat now.

"sorry. i just noticed, when i smelled you, you have, like, your, you know-"

he pointed to his chest,

"i saw the piercings through your shirt."

the boys eyes widened as they all turned to face you.

"piercings?"

you rolled your eyes at them,

"sometimes, it's better to mind your business, i don't need to tell you guys everything i do with my life, so what i pierced my nipples, can we hurry up and pick a movie?"

jeno turned to look at you, now on his knees in front of you, hands on your thighs,

"you actually got them pierced?"

you suddenly felt shy as you looked at jeno, a soft look on his face.

"well yeah, it was a last minute thing."

chenle scooted over on the floor towards jeno, facing you.

"did it hurt?"

you laughed at his question,

"of course it hurt lele, it still hurts now."

jisung gulped as he walked over towards where the guys had now huddled around you,

"can we see-ouch!"

he rubbed the back of his head where renjun had hit him,

"jisung you can't just ask to see her tits!"

jisung ducked his head, a blush painting his ears,

"uh only if you want of course, i'm just kinda curious."

haechan nodded his head quickly hand coming up to hold your arm,

"me too, i wanna see too."

you looked up at all of them, their eyes shiny and cheeks pink as they waited for your response.

"do you guys want to, like actually?"

they all nodded quickly, embarassingly quickly. mark letting out a cough,

"but only if you want, like ji said."

you bit your lip as you reached for the hem of your shirt. these guys had been your friends for years what's the harm in just letting them get a peek, just a peek.

you lifted your shirt up, gasping lightly as the cool air hit your nipples. all their jaws dropped as they stared at your breasts. nipples perked up and shiny from the ointment. haechan was the first to speak,

"can i touch them?"

you let out a soft yes before you could process that you were letting one of your best friends, touch your tits. but any form of regret immediately disappeared as you felt haechan's large hands cup your breasts, thumb coming up to lightly play with the metal jewelry. you winced at the slight pain. jeno quickly reaching forward to gently remove haechan's hands.

"be gentle hyuck, can't you see they're swollen."

his hands replaced hyuck's, larger and firmer, slightly fondling your breasts before his fingers moved to rub around your nipple. you let out a sigh, the pain from before slowly fading away as jeno massaged your sore breasts.

"yeah? that feel good baby?"

you hummed in response, biting back a moan as the feeling of jeno's hands on your breasts began to cause some tension in your core. you squeezed your thighs together hoping none of them noticed the heat radiating off your body.

mark moved his hand in between your legs, lightly massaging the inside of your thigh.

"this okay?"

you nodded, scared of how your voice would sound if you spoke.

"alright that's enough jen my turn."

jaemin got on his knees in front of you, pushing jeno aside. his hands came up to hold your breasts, slightly squeezing them in his palms before bringing two fingers to gently pinch at your nipples. you sucked in a breath trying to move away from his grasp, when you felt someone's hands brush your hair back, collecting it in his hands, exposing your neck.

"relax baby, we'll be gentle. right jaemin?"

renjun gave the boy between your legs a stern look before gently kissing your neck, nuzzling the spot with his nose after.

mark and chenle on opposite sides of you reached forward, each of them gently massaging one of your thighs before gently pulling them apart, slowly moving their hands inward.

jisung came down to kneel next to jaemin dipping his head towards you exposed tummy, planting light kisses on the sides of your waist, tickling your skin.

you felt a warm breath against your ear, looking over at haechan as he lowered his hand to grip at his bulge,

"tell us when to stop, and we promise we'll leave you alone."

you heard jeno chuckle as he reached forward to undo the bow on your sleeping shorts.

"even though i doubt you'll tell us to stop."

renjun tutted above you,

"play nice boys, we're gonna have to learn to share, right?"

thank goodness you didn't get the belly piercing.

.

DOCTOR SHE'S OUT AGAIN, guys i'm not okay ot7 smut??? who have i become???

[ddejavvu]

hiii!! can i suggest some hotch x bau!wife!reader where reader is pregnant and she doesnt know, but at work she goes on about how she doesnt know whats wrong with her lately and spencer suggests that she might be pregnant and then she find out that she is!!

I love your writing sm btw😚😚😚

i think i might finally have enough time to write whole blurbs again :'))

--

"No flamin' hot for you today, Mrs. Hotchner?" Derek eyes your bag of plain cheetos where they lay open on your desk, and you grimace at his phrasing.

"God, no," You groan, "Don't make me sick."

"You love those things," His brows furrow, and he leans on the edge of your desk with one hand, his thick fingers splayed out over the wood, "I'm pretty sure your tongue is permanently stained red by now."

"I like them when I'm not in the middle of some weird stomach bug," You admit, "I woke up sick. I don't know what did it, but it was probably something Jack brought home."

Derek pointedly removes his hand from your desk, but he's kind enough not to tell you that he thinks you're contagious.

"Feel better, mama." He offers with something that you're sure is supposed to be a sympathetic smile, but looks a little more like a wince. Emily isn't so easily scared off, though, and she continues munching on the carrot sticks she'd brought for a snack.

"You look tired," She comments, and you almost want to take offense, "You were up all night with your stomach thing?"

"No, just when my alarm went off," You hum, swallowing a bite of your sandwich and trying not to heave at the texture, "It was nice enough to let me sleep, but-" Your sentence is cut off with a well-timed yawn, "I feel like I've been awake for days."

"Probably just your period," Penelope hums softly, trying and failing to keep your menstrual cycle a secret, which isn't surprising considering her track record with secrets. Everyone is kind enough to ignore the information she revealed, but when you shake your head and grumble, 'I'm late.', Spencer snaps to attention.

"You've missed a menstrual cycle, you're feeling extreme fatigue, and you're experiencing morning sickness?" Spencer verifies, and it's only with his discerning brain that you feel a weight sink in your stomach - preferably not your unborn baby.

"Oh my god," You breathe, your hand coming subconsciously up to your stomach, "Oh my- oh my god! Aaron, Aaron!"

Aaron rushes out of his office with the combined urgency of boss and husband, his eyes locking on you sharp with concern.

The air between you is thick as the members of your team grin up at Hotch, leaving you the silence to cheer, "I'm pregnant!"

His eyes are no longer viciously worried, their sharp edge melting into something far softer. His lips part, barely enough to let air through, until they crack and curve upwards in a dazzling smile that the bullpen doesn't often get to see.

"You took a test?" He confirms, but when you shake your head, he dims slightly.

"Reid said I am," You offer, and his zeal is back. You're sure he wishes he could wrap you up in a truly breathtaking embrace, complete with kiss far too passionate for your work environment, but you'll save it until you're at home, away from prying eyes and phone cameras. Regardless, you can feel his exhilaration from where you stand, and you're already planning out a nursery in your mind.

"He's probably more trustworthy than the plastic stick," Derek claps Reid on the back, and the doctor looks like the wind was knocked out of him. They're both smiling, though, and you feel JJ's hand on your shoulder, squeezing happily.

"Congratulations," Rossi pats Aaron on the shoulder, much gentler than Reid had been subjected to, "But a word of advice, Hotch? Don't have any more. If I have to split my inheritance another way, it won't be worth killing me over."

[hysteria-things]

can you do a story where y/n is really sick (a cold)

and chris is loving and takes cares of her

SNUG AS A BUG

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: chris x reader

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: you’ve been fighting this terrible cold for about a week, and your boyfriend loves to take care of you.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: FLUFF, swearing, crying

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 570

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: fun fact this is based off when i was sick and dying in like october LMAO it was the worst i’ve ever felt.

hope you like it anon!

i’m feeling jolly today so i might post a smut later ;)

here’s to day a million of being sick. realistically, it’s only been a week, but you still felt like shit.

the TV was playing your favorite show since you’ve had enough free time to binge. it feels like you’ve been glued to the couch forever.

tissues were scattered on the snack table next to you along with two empty bowls — one with soup from breakfast and one with ice cream. those are the only two things you can eat since your throat is killing you.

your parents have to work, so chris has been coming over to take care of you when they’re not available.

the front door opens; you don’t have the energy to look at who it is (even though you know)

“i got you your soup from wawa and some more water.” chris smiles sympathetically at you, placing the things on the table.

“thank you.” you hoarse out.

“how are you feeling?”

“terrible.”

he pouts. “i’m going to go to your room for just a second. let me know if you need anything.”

you nod as he walks away, making his way up the staircase. however, he pauses midway when he hears your sniffles.

it’s not just congested sniffles. they’re cry sniffles.

he snaps his head to you. you have the soup in your hands, but you’re not eating it. instead, you’re using the spoon to mix it.

he quickly goes back down the stairs to come rushing to you. “oh, no. none of that.” he takes his thumbs and wipes your tears, leaving his hands cupping your cheeks afterward.

“i don’t want to be sick anymore.” you sob. his heart is breaking seeing you like this. he hates it when you’re upset. “my h-head hurts so bad. a-and i feel so weak.”

“i know, i’m sorry.” he places your head into his stomach since he’s standing in front of you, and your tears start to wet his shirt. “just keep taking the medicine the doctor gave you and you’ll get better in no time.”

“i don’t want the soup.” you cry. you tend to say nonsense when you’re this upset about something.

“that’s okay.” he grabs it from your hands and places it with the other bowls. “we can save it for later, alright?”

a chill runs up your spine. chris starts to take the blanket off of your body and before you can protest, he speaks. “let’s bring you to bed. it’s much more comfortable.”

he takes your hands in his and helps you off the couch, walking at your pace until you’re upstairs and into your room. you immediately head under the covers, plus two more blankets for your chills.

chris starts tucking you in with a goofy grin on his face, as if he’s a father tucking in his child. “feel snug?”

you smile warmly. “as a bug.”

“i’m going to go get your medicine and water so you have them. i’ll be right back.”

you yawn but nod as he leaves the room.

moments later chris returns, but you already passed out. he quietly makes his way into the room when he notices this, placing the items on your nightstand.

he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear before kneeling to kiss you on the forehead. “i love you.” he whispers, backing out of the room and closing the door, leaving you to sleep for the rest of the afternoon.

𝐭𝐚𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭!

@bunbunbl0gs @lexisecretaccx @thy-mission @angelic-sturniolos111 @sophssturn @mattsneezing @janiellasblog @blahbel668 @meg-sturniolo @hearts4chris @mattslolita @sturnbaby @imwetforyourmom @tillies33ssss

[13uswntimagines]

Big Emotions (Alessia X Leah X toddler!R)

Request: In the Arsenal game vs Manchester United, R has some big emotions about the crowd booing her Mama (Alessia), while shes sitting with Leah in the stands because shes not back from her ACL yet.

Warnings: None. This is a cute kidfic.

Pt. II

More in this universe- here

You tucked your face tightly into your Mama’s neck with a groan, the Batman blanket draped over your body like a little tent protecting you from the biting wind and camera flashes as the team made its way off the bus and into old Trafford. 

It wasn’t that Alessia was hiding you from the world, the fans definitely knew about you and loved to chatter about how adorable you were, but she always did her best to keep your face off of the internet. 

Finding where you lived, and where you went to preschool would be far too easy for someone who had Ill intentions for her to risk it. 

Arsenal and her teammates had agreed and refrained from putting your face on their official social media. Though there were a few of you in a Batman mask on Ella and Mary’s pages, and a couple with some well-placed stickers on the Arsenal official account, she had been successful in protecting your identity. 

And the fans seemed to respect her wishes too. 

So your appearance in your Batman blanket tent was one that the fans were used to. 

What no one was used to was how grumpy you were. 

The bus ride from London to Manchester had been long, and rather difficult if Alessia did say so herself.

It was an extension of the already challenging week without her girlfriend that the two of you were trying to navigate. You didn’t take kindly to breaks in your routine, and since your move to London, your mother’s girlfriend Leah had become a large part of that routine. 

You were nearly as attached to her as you were to Alessia, and you hadn’t taken well to her absence. You were unable to understand that she was just away on business and that she hadn’t abandoned you and your mama. 

The week had been peppered with sporadic FaceTimes that you had no interest in and a lot of crying when your typical routines were broken. 

The only reprieve had been your excitement for the game between Arsenal and Manchester United at your favorite stadium, Old Trafford. 

You had been so excited to see Mary and Ella that you had refused to sleep after your bedtime story, even after she pulled you into the big bed she normally shared with Leah since the move to London. 

Then you hadn’t been impressed by how early she had to wake you up, and were rather uncooperative as she got you dressed, flat out refusing breakfast because they weren’t the mini pancakes Leah usually made you on travel days. 

You were miserable by the time you got to the bus, and then you had been forced to sit still for nearly 4 hours. You hadn’t been interested in any of the snacks she brought, any of the movies on your iPad, or interacting with her Arsenal teammates (even Viv, Beth, and Katie which surprised her). The only reprieve had come when she finally coaxed you into a nap about 30 minutes before the bus pulled into the stadium. 

“Easy love,” She hummed, bouncing you lightly as she stepped off the bus, flashing a grin towards the waiting crowd while trying to balance you and her bag. 

“Let me take that,” Katie said, grabbing Alessia’s kit bag from her. “You just worry about getting the bug inside,” 

She nodded towards the Irish captain in thanks, bringing her now free hand up to cup the hidden back of your head as you shifted anxiously against her again at the cheering of the fans. 

She sent them another smile, but forwent going to say hello, and headed down the tunnel instead. 

The last thing she needed was a full-blown meltdown, and with how loud the fans were and how cranky you were, she knew that’s exactly what would happen. 

“We’ll get to the changing room, and you can finish your nap in your cubby, alright?” She said, keeping her voice soft, her feet tapping as the crowd noise faded, blocked by the walls of the stadium. “And then you get to see Mazza and Ella,”

“Weah,” You mumbled into her neck, your voice muffled by her skin, your blanket tent, and the stuffed animal clutched under your arm. 

“I know you want Leah,” She sighed, rounding the corner to the hallway that held the visiting team changing room and showers. 

She wanted Leah too. 

While she had been single when she had you and she knew how to be a single mom, things were so much harder than they were with Leah. 

The defender had been part of your life since you were barely a year old, and Alessia had gotten used to her help throughout their 2-year relationship. Even when she was in Manchester, Leah had been an active participant in helping Alessia raise you. 

Things were so much easier when they could tag team things like breakfast and keep you entertained. It was one of the selling points of moving to Arsenal. 

More time for the three of you to be a family.

“But I’m sure the equipment staff will get you a nice warm sippy of milk, and we can relax until I play,” She continued, nodding towards Stinia as she held the changing room door open for the two of you. 

She thought you would perk up at the mention of warm milk, something they were trying to limit to just before bedtime, but you only sniffled against her neck. 

“I think our visitor will help too,” Stinia said as she passed, tilting her head towards the locker that the staff always set up for you with blankets and snacks, and a jersey of your own. 

Alessia followed her eyes, her shoulders immediately relaxing at the sight of her blonde girlfriend. 

“Oh thank god,” She breathed, crossing the room to stand in front of her locker.

Leah met her halfway, pulling you both into her arms the second she was close enough. “Hey loves,” 

“Hey,” Alessia sighed, leaning into the woman and accepting a very tame kiss. “Missed you,”

“I missed you both too, so much,” Leah said, her expression soft. 

While she loved her job and the opportunities it afforded her, she had grown rather attached to the little family unit the three of you had created. 

She quite missed the way you cuddled up to her in the mornings while she watched cartoons with you, and helped you get ready for bed. It was made even more excruciating by how little interest you showed in interacting with her on FaceTime, going so far as to hide under the couch so you could escape the phone. 

The only reprieve had been the photos Alessia sent her of you and your stuffed turtle cuddled up in a nest of her sweatshirts, and your refusal to leave the house unless you were wearing one that smelled like Leah. 

Today she knew Alessia had wrapped you in one of her owls England ones. 

“Tough morning?” Leah asked when you didn’t pull your head out from your blanket tent to greet her. 

“You have no idea,” Alessia sighed, beginning to rock again to help settle you. “We’re in a very grumpy mood today,”

Leah made a low noise, stepping a little closer, tilting her head around to look at the opening to your little blanket cave, and laying a very gentle hand on the center of your back. “Hey snuggle bug,”

You shifted in Alessia’s hold, peeking out from under your blanket, the head of your stuffed turtle just visible under your chin. “Weah?”

“Yeah sweetie,” She smiled gently at your bed head. “Do you wanna come to me so mama can get ready? I’ve got your cubby all nice and cuddly for you,”

“No,” You mumbled, your fist tightening in Alessia’s shirt. “m comfy,”

Both women frowned. 

They expected you to cling to Leah the moment you saw her, she tended to be your go-to on game days, and you had been relentless in your desire to see her for the last week. 

“Ok,” Leah agreed, rubbing your back to hopefully help you stay settled. “Do you want to continue your nap?”

You shook your head, resting your cheek back on your Mama’s shoulder. The way you blinked heavily at her told her a different story, but she didn’t mention it. 

“Alright,” Leah hummed, running her fingers through your wild curls. 

Your eyes slid closed, and she shared another look with Alessia. 

“Let’s go to your cubby,” Alessia sighed, rocking you as she made her way over to the bench that was all set up for you with blankets and two jerseys hanging. 

She gently pulled your head from her neck and settled you into the little nest that had been created for you. You pulled your Batman blanket tightly around you, snuggled deeply into the pile of blankets, and pulled the hood of your England jersey over your head, tucking your nose into the collar that smelled like Leah. 

You hugged your stuffed turtle, Squirt close to your chest, and let your eyes slide closed. 

Maybe you would finish your nap. 

******

“Hey love bug, wake up,” 

Gentle hands rubbed your back, and you lazily blinked up at Leah’s voice. 

“Warm-ups are about to start,” She continued, squatting in front of your little cubby. “Do you want to wear your jersey?” 

You shook your head, your little hands coming up to rub the sleep out of your eyes. 

“Alright,” Leah agreed, reaching up to brush your wild curls out of your eyes. “Does Squirt want his jersey?”

You yawned, thinking about it for a very long second before nodding. 

Leah smiled widely at you, reaching above you to the two extra jerseys hanging in your cubby, specifically designed for your favorite stuffed friend. 

“Does he want to wear mine or Mama’s?” She asked, waiting patiently as your eyes flickered between them. 

It often took you a few minutes to make big decisions like whose jersey you would wear. 

“Mazza,” You mumbled. 

The corners of Leah’s lips pulled downward. She wasn’t sure that Alessia had packed the turtle-sized Earps jersey that was a staple at Lionesses games. “I’m not sure we have that one bug. Can you pick mine or mama’s?”

You pouted, tucking your face into Squirt’s shell and shaking your head. 

“Ok love,” Leah sighed, trying to keep the disappointment out of her voice. “I have a sippy for you if you would like to watch warmups?”

Your eyebrows furrowed, and you rubbed your nose into squirt's soft body as you thought it over. 

You did love to watch Mama play, and they didn’t let you drink warm milk unless it was bedtime. 

“Otay,” You said finally, holding out your arms for Leah to pick you up. 

Her smile returned, as she ran her hand through your wild curls, and lifted you, squirt and the Batman blanket still wrapped around you into her arms. 

You immediately tucked your face into her neck, squishing your stuffed turtle between you, as she tucked your blanket more tightly around you. 

You hated jackets, and the old England sweatshirt you were wearing was not sufficient to keep you warm on its own. 

“Mazza and El?” You asked into her skin, practically melting into her as she made her way out of the changing room and down the tunnel, nodding at some of the staff as she passed. 

Leah hummed. “They’ll be out there too, but I think we’re closer to the Arsenal bench,” 

You yawned, a big dinosaur yawn as she stepped out into the stadium, waving at a few fans as she got settled in the seat just behind the bench that the training staff had set up for the two of you. 

“See after?” You asked, turning your head so you had a good view of the pitch. 

“Definitely,” Leah agreed, passing you a warm red and blue sippy cup filled with milk. 

Your eyes found your mama, running next to Viv near the center of the pitch, and you followed them as you sucked on your favorite beverage, relaxing into the defender's hold. 

Leah rubbed your back, bouncing her knees very gently. It was adorable how you waved at the girls on the pitch, no matter what team it was, and how they waved back, nudging whoever was next to them to point you out. 

You got particularly excited when Ella noticed you, sending you a very enthusiastic wave and a kiss. 

Leah knew the move to Arsenal hadn’t been easy for you. You were rather attached to the Manchester United women, and you missed them even if you had settled in well with the Arsenal girls. 

She just hoped that you could handle seeing both teams go at it. 

Seeing your Mama go against your decidedly favorite aunts. 

“Mama is waving at you,” Leah said, nudging you as Alessia sent you an equally big wave. 

Maybe this would pull you out of your grumpiness. 

*******

Any hope that Leah had of your mood lifting was dashed as soon as the starting lineups were announced. 

You had finished your milk just after warmups were over and dawned your Spider-Man ear defenders as the crowd roared to life. You seemed excited to chant along with them to their rendition of Country Road, and the Glory Glory Man united chant, even waving squirt along to the tunes. 

But then everything shifted. 

You wilted under the chorus of boos that met your Mama’s name, frowning as they echoed from every inch of the stadium. 

“Why they boo Mama?” 

Your voice was soft as you turned to Leah, a distinct crinkle between your eyes. 

Leah bit her lip at your adorableness, smoothing back your hair again. “Well, you remember how Mama played for United?” 

You nodded. “With El and Mazza,” 

“That’s right,” She said. “When she moved to Arsenal, that upset a lot of people,” 

“Because she so good? And they were sad?”

Your head tilted to the side at the question. 

Leah hummed. Recognizing and vocalizing your emotions were things that they were working on with you, so she was proud that you were trying to understand the big emotions of the crowd. 

“Some are sad,” She agreed. “Some are angry because they don’t understand why she left them,” 

“She no leave. You no leave either,” You said automatically, and Leah was already nodding. 

“No, we will never leave you. She just changed teams because it was better for her,” She explained gently. 

It was a familiar reassurance, one that she and Alessia had to given you hundreds of times. 

You had never met your father, but since you started pre-school, you had been acutely aware that you had a Mama and a Leah instead of a mom and dad. They weren’t sure exactly what started it, but you had become irrationally terrified that one of them would leave you. Terrified to the point of a panic attack. 

She knew that her absence hadn’t helped. 

“Mark a meanie butt,” You muttered, turning back towards the pitch. 

Leah suppressed her snort as the teams lined up for kickoff. 

He was a meanie butt, and he hadn’t treated you well, going as far as to say that you were a distraction, and doing his best to make it impossible for Alessia to spend time with you. 

“Who do you think is going to score?” Leah asked you, redirecting your attention. 

Your nose scrunched as you thought. “Mama score one and El,” 

“If Mama scores then Mazza won’t have a clean sheet,” Leah reminded you, resting her chin on your shoulder. 

You shrugged, the crinkle between your eyebrows reappearing when the crowd erupted in more boos as the ball neared your mama. 

You didn’t like it when they booed. 

Leah tightened her hold on you, as you began to squirm, your head whipping back and forth with the pace of the game. 

“Go, Mama!” You yelled as Katie dispossessed Galton and sent a ball over the top, right into Alessia’s path. 

She easily collected it and sent it careening right past Mary’s outstretched fingers. 

You nearly launched yourself out of Leah’s lap as the ball hit the back of the net, cheering so loudly that Leah was afraid you would hurt yourself. She pulled you back to stand on her thighs. 

Your little yell of excitement was drowned out by the deafening boo throughout the stadium, impossibly louder than it was before.

You turned in Leah’s lap, glaring up at the crowd around you. “No boo my Mama!” 

“Easy love,” She said, using her hands on your hips to balance you as you stood on her lap, hyper-aware of the cameras now pointing in your direction. 

“No boo Mama!” You screamed at the audience again, your fists clenched at your side, your little cheeks going red. “Mean!”

“It’s ok bug,” Leah tried again, using hands under your armpits and standing up so she was cradling you against her chest. “You’re ok,” 

“No ok,” You yelled, tears finally leaking from your eyes. “No boo mama goal. Bestest goal,” 

She shushed you gently, rocking from side to side, as she gestured towards security to let her back to the aisle behind the benches.“I know love,” 

No one wanted your looming meltdown to be splashed across social media later, even if Leah agreed with you. 

It was a great goal and it didn’t deserve the boos. 

Alessia didn’t deserve the boos. 

 “Sh, you’re ok,” She shushed you gently, stepping down the small staircase and into the tunnel, dampening the boos. “Take some deep breaths for me,” 

“Mama,” You sniffled miserably into her neck, wiping your tears on Squirt's back. “Best,” 

“Your mama is the best,” Leah hummed, running the hand not holding you through your hair, scratching your scalp. 

You sagged against her, just like your mother did when Leah ran her hands through her hair. 

“And they all know it too. They just don’t know how to handle her being on a different team,” She continued, rocking from side to side. “You’re ok,” 

“Mama best,” You repeated, pulling back to look at her with a pout. “no boo,” 

She smiled sadly at you. “We can’t stop them from booing, but you know what we can do?”

You shook your head, your eyes that were so like Alessia’s still watery and rimmed red. 

“We can cheer so loud that we drown out the boos,” Leah said, fixing your hoodie. 

Your eyes flashed with determination. “I cheer for Mama goals,” 

She hummed, kissing your forehead (and Squirt’s when you held him up for her). “Let’s go then,” 

You nodded vigorously, wiping your eyes. “But after, I tell Mazza and El that fans were butt heads,” 

Leah made a low noise of agreement in the back of her throat, bouncing lightly as she made her way back to the mouth of the tunnel. 

Her idea wasn’t a complex fix to your mood, and she was sure that they would have to dodge more frustration tantrums from you, but hopefully, it would satisfy you until after the match. 

Yes, Alessia would need to assure you that she was alright, and they would need to scrub social media of your face angrily yelling at fans, but right now she would take the little that you were giving her. 

There would be time for big emotions later. 

Right now, all she had to do was cheer for her love with you (and Squirt). 

[munsster]

rockstar standards

A/N: PLS PLS PLS DROP SUGGESTIONS FOR HOCKEY STEVE/EDDIE im having a total brainfart but i need to break into the hockey au game bc i love it 😻 (gif creds: @cuntyarmand)

Pairings: Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader, 90s AU

Summary: Corroded Coffin starts to gain some traction, and you can't help feeling stranded. 1.5k words

Warnings: minor angst/hurt comfort, fluff, pining, pet names (bug, sweetheart, sweets, baby), jealousy, undressed cuddling,

You watch him parade around the stage every Friday night. Sometimes he's playing the home stage, other times he books random amphitheaters and dive bars. But today, he's drenched in purple light on the outskirts of Chicago. It's by far the biggest venue Corroded Coffin has played. You sit by the pop up bar, but bodies are packed like sardines in this place. It's hot and loud, but it's worth it to see him so elated.

Even through his streaky eyeliner, you can tell he's adoring the attention of the pit. You can see their red fingernails and shiny tank tops and free flowing hair. You never thought Eddie would be the kinda thing you were attracted to. You also know he's not the kinda guy to be attracted to something like you. You know guys like Eddie usually go for the Pam Andersons and Courtney Loves. The Party girls. Not the ones who have nothing better to do on a Saturday night than watch a romcom alone.

That Sunday, Eddie pulls onto your street. It's late and he has a ringing headache. He couldn't think of anything better to do after touching down in Hawkins again. You'd headed home the night before, and it made his gut wrench knowing he wouldn't get to see you the rest of the weekend.

Your door creaks open, and he's smiling on the other side. He's already leaning against your doorway with the bouquet he bought earlier from the woman selling them on the corner.

"Missed you, bug," he huffs, "Can I come in?"

You step aside without another word, and he hangs his leather jacket on the coat rack like always. Something feels off when he sits on the couch to find you're on the complete opposite side from him. Usually, you're not shy about cuddling up beside him to watch a movie or share snacks or just talk.

He frowns and scoots closer, leaning in to grab at your ankle playfully. You kick his hand away, brow set hard above your lethal glare.

"Sweetheart," he huffs, tilting his head in confusion, "What's going on? Where's my cuddlebug?"

"I dunno, somewhere in Hollywood?"

His eyes nearly pop out of his head at that. You're his favorite girl and you know that. So why're you grilling him now.

"Tell me what's goin' on. What did I miss?"

And you look serious, too. This isn't some running joke he missed out on while he was away. He's not sure who bruised your confidence, but he's sure he'd like to have a few words with them. He hates the way your lip wobbles and your eyes avoid him cause it gives you away. That's how he knows you're heartbroken.

"Eddie," you whine, swiping a hasty tear from your cheek. "I just don't know why you keep me around when you could have any of those girls at your bon vivant gigs."

"Fuck is that supposed to mean, bug?" He barks it out on accident, sitting back on his haunches with a scowl. "I'm sorry, but there's no way I'm gettin’ rid of you."

"Eddie, please... you're gonna make it big and get shipped off to Tinseltown, and I'll still be here, teddy. Probably being someone's lonely, suburban housewife. It's what I'm made for, and that's not what you want."

"You're wrong."

"And maybe you should go," you whisper, choking back a sob and standing from the couch.

"No, sweets, you're wrong," he says, standing and striding over to you, "You've got me wrong, and you've got you wrong."

You cross your arms over your chest and finally look him in the eye.

"'S that so?"

"Yeah," he tuts. And he has the most charming, most dastardly smile you've ever seen, flashing his canines like a gentle killer. "'Cause I'm gonna take you with me."

"Teddy."

"Nope, I'm takin' you with me wherever I go, and there's nothin' you can say to change my mind. Even if you hate my music forever, fine, I'll fix you up in a nice five star anywhere we go. You can sit and watch all the movies you like. You'll be nobody's housewife, baby, 'cause I'm keepin' you."

You roll your eyes, batting away tears when he grabs your hand to pull you back to the couch.

"And what if I said that's not what I want?" you suggest, testing his rockstar resolve with your big, wet eyes and stubborn quips.

"Then I'll give you somethin' else. Anything else. But you're mine no matter what." If only you knew how proud it made him to call you his girl. To know you support him even if you don't love his genre.  "Now, would you come closer? You're killin' me."

You obey with a frigid pout, letting him drape your thighs over his and brush his ring clad paws over your cheeks, down your neck.

"But what about your groupies and the pretty girls at the bars or in the front row?"

"What about 'em?" he says, just barely shaking his head, "I'll have somethin' way better waiting for me."

You chuckle. "You're crazy."

He cocks a brow. "Old news."

When he notices how close you've gotten, he smiles. Your manicured nails graze over his chest with the only light washing over you from the dimly lit kitchen. He can't resist his palm curling behind your neck, pulling you close for a sweet kiss.

"Where d'you keep your vases?" he mumbles, remembering the tulips resting on the little table.

"Kitchen. Above the fridge," you say with your fingers already slotting between his to pull him towards the warm light. He loves you like this: sickly sweet and tender, holding him all gentle in your hot pulse. You go to reach for a painted ceramic vase, but he wraps his arm around you and turns you away.

"Ah ah ah, drop it, sweetheart. That’s my job," he says against your temple, holding the lip of the vase and patting your ass. He takes the bouquet from your grasp and sets both on the counter by the sink. You hand him a pair of scissors and he carefully snips the stems jagged, filling the vase with water.

His stomach flips when you wrap your arms around his waist and clasp your hands at his belt. He sets the prepared arrangement aside and turns in your embrace.

"All done," he says wickedly, palming your face with his wet hands. You jump back with a squeal, pelting a dish rag at this chest.

"Use a towel, you slob!"

He chuckles and wipes his hands on his shirt, tossing the towel over his shoulder and leering at you like he's starved.

"Come here," he mumbles. You go a little shy under his gaze, dropping your head and shuffling towards his presence. He catches you by the hips, dipping down to catch your mouth in a prying kiss. You grin against him and he groans, tugging you tight against his body.

"Always love how soft you are, baby. Surprises me every time." He shakes his wild mane and purses his lips for you to kiss this time.

"Where d'you want the flowers?" he says.

"Bedroom?"

His eyes light up involuntarily, and he grabs the vase, bounding off towards your room gleefully. You jog to catch up with him, and when you enter the threshold, he's expertly positioning the vase next to a stack of books on your dresser.

"Much cleaner than mine," he says, gesturing around the room, "You keep it nice in here."

You shrug. "Could be cleaner."

"You can never see mine," he teases, knowing full well you already have. He slings his arms low on your hips, adoring you in the blue light of dusk. "Can I undress you?"

You bow your head and whisper, "teddy..."

"Not like that. Just wanna hold you."

You kiss his slanted mouth sweetly, nodding.

He reaches for the edge of your soft cotton dress, pulling it up and over your head. He whistles low upon seeing your undergarments, whipping his shirt off and onto the floor somwhere. You giggle, helping him with his belt buckle. He traces your temple with his lips leaving kisses along the way. He steps out of his jeans and lets you lead him around the bed.

His curls sprawl out against your pillows, and he welcomes you into his side with a lazy smile. Your reach to touch his waist and softly feel over the scar below his ribs.

"Little tender, bug," he hisses. You bat your eyes up at him scared, pulling your hand away.

"I'm sorry."

He shakes his head. "No, please," he whispers, cradling your wrist, his eyes locked with yours. He draws the hair away from your neck, replacing it with his fingers to dance down along your spine. You’re warmer than he’s ever felt before and thankful for it. His hands are cold, but he doesn’t have to worry about it for very long when you bring each fingertip to your lips for a kiss.

“You’re my girl, alright? Always,” he whispers and you nod, “always.”

masterlist

[clockwayswrites]

Not So Imaginary

Parts 1-3 Parts 4-6Parts 7-8 WC: 1177

“I brought you some more books to read,” Jason said as he entered the room.

After Danny had shown that they were clearly a person (a kid at that) and answered a few questions, they had been moved to an actual room on the Watchtower. Jason was pretty sure part of it was how he refused to leave the cell until Danny was moved, but he didn’t really care as long as it got his friend safe.

Danny looked up with a grin. They were pretty solid today, sitting cross-leg on the bed with feet and everything.

“You’re back,” the artificial voice spoke out from the tablet like device in Danny’s hands. It was a version of something called a SGD, Bruce had said, and was used by people who had trouble with verbal sounds. They didn’t know if Danny would always need it or if they’re vocal cords would come back as they continued to solidify.

“I am. B said I could stay a whole three hours today too as long as I ate a snack while I was here,” Jason said, holding up one of the bags he had.

Three hours still wasn’t a lot, but it was better than the one it had been the rest of the week. It took a lot of begging, but B finally agreed that Jason was well enough for a test to see how it went. Danny was still draining life force from Jason, and only Jason, which made certain Leaguers nervous about letting the two of them close. Jason had done everything he could to let it happen: he’d begged and argued, he’d eating everything Alfie wanted him to, he rested whenever Bruce wanted him too which was all the time, and he even agreed to stay benched for as long as it took.

That last one had really helped convince Bruce and Dick that Jason wouldn’t back down from helping his friend.

“Good. I am happy. What do you have?”

“You liked the Hardy Boys, right? I have a few more of those and I found you some science mags you might like,” Jason said as he flopped onto the bed next to Danny. He could feel the odd tingle travel up his arm as he leaned into Danny.

“Thank you,” Danny said with a wide smile. The tone of the electronic voice didn’t match the brightness of that smile, but it was alright. Jason could also feel how happy Danny was.

“You’re doing okay?”

“Yes.” There was a long pause as Danny found the right words. They were pretty quick already with preset phrases, but odder things still took longer than regular talking would. “WW took me to observation deck. We watched stars. She told me stories of stars from her home.”

“Yeah?” Jason asked, trying to keep his voice from hitching around the word. He couldn’t bug Danny with that yet. “You like her? Wonder Woman?”

“Yes.” The reply was quick, but Danny was watching Jason with furrowed brows. They pushed a sense of question through their bond.

“I’m fine. Just thinking through some shit,” Jason said with a wave of his hand. “But Wonder Woman is really cool. She’s my favorite too.”

Danny set the tablet aside so that they could run their fingers through Jason’s hair. It felt odd, what with not all of the fingers always being all of the way solid, but a good sort of odd. It seems Jason couldn’t just Danny’s concern aside.

“I’ll tell you tomorrow, okay?”

Danny let out what for anyone else would have been a sigh and gave a little nod. They shorted through the bag of books Jason had brought and found a Hardy Boy’s to hand over to Jason.

“What me to read to you?” Jason waited for the nod. Apparently it was really important to let Danny choose things right then, or so the adults said. “Okay, move over a bit, yeah? You’re hogging all the bed.”

Danny placed their hand to their chest, face screwing up in an affronted expression. It didn’t work though when Jason could feel the amusement through their bond.

“Yeah yeah, I’m a brute, now shove over,” Jason said with a laugh. He worked his way up until he was lounging against the head of the bed.

Danny didn’t move.

“You’re a brat,” Jason accused.

Danny gave a silent laugh, humor bumbling up in their bond, before they flopped over right onto Jason’s chest. Jason let a huff of a sigh, but ran his fingers through Danny’s hair like he knew they liked before he opened the book to start read about another adventure of the Hardy Boys.

It was easier to feel the drain like this, when they were so close to each other and touching. Jason had tried to avoid spelling that out too much to Bruce. He got that his dad was just worried, but he was afraid if B knew he’d tried to keep Danny away.

As it was Bruce was trying to send Danny away.

Jason brushed the thought aside, focusing on doing his best to give the characters good voices for Danny. At least it was a distraction from all the rest of Jason’s thoughts. Two chapters later the stopped to ask, “Want a break or do you want another chapter?”

Danny rolled over and off Jason’s chest to flop onto the pillow next to him and Jason froze. His shock must have been clear because Danny scrambled up off the bed until they were floating above Jason.

“No! It’s a good thing. Just… you’re getting some of your color back,” Jason explained. He should really stop staring. He should take Danny to a mirror to see or something, but it was just that… Danny was beautiful right then. He found himself reaching up to brush his finger tips of the bright freckles that were scattered across Danny’s cheeks and nose like a galaxy of stars.

Bright teal eyes blinked back at him.

Jason cleared his throat. “Right, sorry, let’s go let you look.”

Danny floated to the side, landing on their feet as Jason stood, and followed behind behind to the small attached bathroom. Jason guided Danny in front of the mirror. White was spreading into their hair now.

For a moment Jason was worried that Danny was frozen in shock, then the other leaned in close to the mirror, touching the surface before bringing their hand up to their own face. Suddenly Danny was moving, spinning weightlessly around Jason as they gave a soundless whoop.

“I know,” Jason said with a grin of his own. “Look at you! You’re really coming together now! I knew you could do it. I knew that you could come back.”

Slowly, Danny drifted back down so that the tips of their toes brushed against the floor. They rested their forehead against Jason’s.

He didn’t need words to understand what Danny was trying to say.

“Don’t have to thank me, stardust. I’ll always come for you just like you’ll always come for me.”

--- AN: Oh ho, is Jason starting to realize he has a crush? And what isn't he telling Danny? Hopefully this part is good, the weather is giving me such a migraine/making me super dizzy so my eyes are crossing some! (Yes, I'm resting, on the couch with a cat!)

I really should have made an update post for this... this supposed ficlet just keeps going! 7K now! Aaaah well. Anywho, stay delightful, darlings!

[freakoont]

❝𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐩𝐨 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬❞

︵‿︵‿୨🍪୧‿︵‿︵

𝐅𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭: 𝐁𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐨 𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐲 𝐃𝐨𝐠𝐬 𝐅𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫: 𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐩𝐨 𝐄𝐝𝐨𝐠𝐚𝐰𝐚 【ＳＦＷ　ａｎｄ　ＮＳＦＷ ｉｎｃｌｕｄｅｄ】

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

GENDER NETURAL BUT AFAB READER sorry :')

REQUESTS ARE OPEN ! check the bottom of this post for information <3

︵‿︵‿୨🍪୧‿︵‿︵

【ＳＦＷ】

When you first start to begin noticing signs of having a crush on him, Ranpo immediately picks up on it.

Does he actually say or do anything about it? No . . . Not for a long while.

He's not embarrassed or nervous about it, actually he uses your little crush as a advantage to tease and mess with your cute little brain !

"hey, (Y/N) can you get me some pockys? I'm about to die from hunger, y'know!"

"..I'm busy, Ranpo."

"oh, fine."

...

"oh yeah, (Y/N) I seem to recall you were staring a lot at me earlier, which is kind of odd for a friend-"

"I'll get those snacks now"

Ranpo's never had a crush or significant other, so there are some things he doesn't know what to do. but he mostly treats your relationship the same way he treated you back when you were just friends

At first, he was a little nervous about saying things like 'I love you' because he thought it sounded cringe, but after a short while he needs to hear you say it 30 times a hour with lots of kisses💋

Ranpo can be a little shit at times, but he makes up for it for his good memory and always being able to understand you better than you know yourself.

Example: Ranpo will always remember little things about you! He noticed you staring at a T-shirt in the mall once and suddenly you've got it gifted to you, "from the worlds greatest detective; to my favorite assistant"

A lot of times when you're working in ADA, Ranpo will just hop onto your lap and keep still and silent as he eat snacks.

He loves being in your presence, just being around you is enough.

He's not crazy on PDA, usually holding your hand and dragging you along with him. He'll occasionally tease and embarrass you in public though, most of the time it isn't intentional

"(Y/NNNNN) :( can we please go to that bakeshop !"

"we were just at one. Besides, you still have that cake to finish at home."

"..."

"WHAT THE- GET OFF MY BACK YOU CRAZY MAN-"

"LETS GO TO THE BAKESHOP THEN-"

Ranpo is a BIG cuddle bug! He loves being little spoon especially. Just laying on top of your chest or besides you as you caress his hair and kiss his forehead

He'll melt from your touch

He's a baby

Ranpo doesn't usually get jealous. It's a rare thing actually, he's a chill guy and just uses his deduction to know you love him 110%

He's probably gotten used to Dazai flirting with you, before you two got together, that he's unbothered by other people

TXT: "Ranpo ! Some guy is flirting with me !"

TXT: "👍"

TXT: "do you not care that someone is trying to get with me?"

TXT: "woah there. FIRST OF ALL☝️ I've already deducted that you wouldn't do anything to hurt me. You care to much. SECOND OF ALL☝️ I've also deduced that he's drunk"

TXT: "I'll go buy you some ice cream now..(⁠ ⁠╹⁠▽⁠╹⁠ ⁠)"

TXT: "👍"

...

TXT: "ily"

TXT: "I love you too(⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡"

I feel like Ranpo isn't good with feelings and his words. When he notices that you're angry or upset, he'll kind of just be lost on what to do to cheer you up

He'll make some unhelpful comments here and there, trying to cheer you up and joke around... But then it might piss you off a little more

HE'S TRYING(⁠｡⁠•́⁠︿⁠•̀⁠｡⁠)

He's bad at reading emotions, and when he does understand he'll share his snacks and keep quiet...

His love language is: words of affirmation and physical touch

He's not one to use pet names, just usually call you by his own nickname for you and that's it. Occasionally he'll call you his 'favorite assistant' or his 'watson'

Ranpo gets a boost in his confidence whenever you praise him. You and Fukuzawa are definitely the most important people in his lives, meaning your words mean SO MUCH to him

If you're the type to like cooking and cleaning, you've won him over. He hates chores and loves just sitting around and eating snacks

If you feed him as he sits or lays on your lap he'll literally die a happy man

❥๑━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━๑❥

【ＮＳＦＷ】

Ranpo is a switch, but definitely leans towards a bottom more

He'll be a very loud person in bed when you're on top of him.

If you tease him and poke at his sensitive parts, Ranpo will get flustered. You will catch him blushing and trying to keep quiet, just poke at him some more

Of course, don't be mean to him though. He only likes it when you praise him for doing good, because he's very inexperienced.

Ranpo is good at giving oral, he knows how to read you and where you like to be touched the most

Whenever Ranpo has a rough day, he'll either want you to ride him to make him feel better or he'd want to eat you out

"Mmmm... You look so good riding me like that,"

"just like that, Aah~"

"Love, I'm gonna- A-Ah"

He's noisy, but you can shut him upಡ⁠ ͜⁠ ⁠ʖ⁠ ⁠ಡ

Ranpo doesn't have that strong of a sexual desire. Sex isn't the most important thing to him. it's you🫵

If you ask him enough, praise him all day, and have a little teasing at eachother, maybe your lucky enough to walk home with him pulling you into the bed(⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴗ⁠ꈍ⁠)

His favorite positions are cowgirl/reverse cowgirl, anything with you taking control

He's very lazy and will let you do most of the work

Ranpo actually doesn't have any kinks, and I know a lot of you will be like "no he'd have a praise kink☝️" but I'm sorry to say that, Ranpo would 100% find the idea of kinks disgusting

LIKE I KNOW. I can see him having a praise kink too but it just fits so well for him to find 'kinks' disgusting

He doesn't like using toys either. Well, specifically for himself

If he feels like teasing you and edging you on, expect him to be using a vibrator on you and moving it around to get you moaning, but that's it really

If you're a easily-embarrassed or awkward and shy person, he'll definitely tease and mess with you when he's taking the lead

He's definitely had you doing things with him in the office and after you're finished you'll be like, "did... Did that really just happen?🧍‍♀️"

"Ranpo, the others are gonna be back any moment, please let's just finish at home.."

"Mmm, not a chance... Now, if you're so worried about it, you better start moving faster for me, sweet one.." he spoke, his hand on your ass as he straddled you on his lap as he sucked on a lollipop, his eyes were on yours. His other hand moved up your back and caressed your body.

How did you ever get dragged into this with him? Oh wait. It's Ranpo.

Ranpo loves face sitting

He'll eat you out like a unspoken religion, digging his teeth into your inner thighs just to hear your sweet noises as he knows he's doing good

He also loves it when you leave lipstick kisses all over him

YOU'LL LITERALLY MAKE HIM ALL NERVOUS AND BLUSHING. He'll be at a loss for words and start to ignore all eye contact

༻༺━━━━⁎∗.*.∗⁎━━━━༻༺

REQUESTS - I am accepting any requests for any character for the following fandoms:

Bungo Stray Dogs, Genshin Impact, Danganronpa, Ninjago, Southpark, Obey Me, 7 Deadly Sins, Tokyo Revengers, Hazbin Hotel, Helluva Boss, Death Note, Walking Dead, Demon Slayer, Assassination Classroom, Hunter X Hunter, Komi Can't Communicate, Diabolik Lovers and Doki Doki Literature Club

I will write any of the following: smut (all characters WILL be aged up), fluff, crack/joke, specific plot, angst, HC's, BL, GL

Do not expect me to write any of the following: intense gore scene, sexual themes that are disturbing to most people and anything that will get me banned for a specific and obvious reason.

I accept requests for any character from any of the fandoms I have named :)

[glow-worms-are-believers]

Lost in the Woods (dp x dc)

"Why are we here again?" Tucker asked as he rearranged his backpack straps.

"Because you lost a bet and Gotham Woods are my best chance of seeing a real satanic ritual," Sam answered.

“Hey, no,” Danny protested. “We said no spooky business. This is strictly for fun.”

“Fun,” Tucker repeated, dryly. “This is how most horror movies start, you know. Camping in the woods at night.”

“I highly doubt there’s any serial killer out there,” the halfa soothed. “I checked the news. There are no escape convicts right now.”

“The Riddler’s out,” Sam refuted.

“Can you imagine that pasty twig-man willingly trudging through the woods though?” Danny asked.

“I probably go out more often than him,” Tucker conceded.

“Which means we’re all good,” Danny concluded.

The trio walked a bit further before reaching the spot they had brought the rest of their bags and dropped their heavy backpacks beside it. Tucker fell down beside them before raising a hand to chase away a mosquito that was buzzing around.

“I hate this already,” he whined as he tried to smack the bug.

“Get up,” Sam said as she nudged him with her foot. “We gotta get the tent up.”

With a groan, he stood up and they got to work on the tent. It didn’t take very long, thanks to Danny’s experience in pitching Fenton Work tents, which had come from the numerous times his family had gone camping.

“What now?” The halfa asked.

“Why don’t we walk around a little?” Sam suggested.

“Can’t we take a minute to breathe?” Tucker complained.

“It’ll be fun,” Danny encouraged his friend as he offered a hand getting to his feet again.

"I'm beginning to think you don't know what that means."

They grabbed some water and snacks before setting towards one of the closest hiking trails. It was supposed to be an easy quick walk, but as time went on the path became more and more wild and overgrown, they started doubting the way. By the time they had stopped, the path was now nonexistent.

“We’re lost,” Tucker said. “The sun is setting and we’re lost in the creepy satanic woods.”

“First of all,” Sam started. “I have a compass, and second, we have Danny. We’ll be fine.”

“Oh I see how it is,” the halfa dramatically said. “You guys are just using me for my powers.”

Before the goth could make a proper answer to that, Tucker shushed them both before dragging them towards some thick bushes. A few moments later they could see two men in long robes carrying a third, unconscious man in a black and blue outfit.

“Those goddamned bats,” one of the ones wearing cultist robes said as he struggled to carry the unconscious man’s legs.

“Shut up and move faster,” the other cultist said. “The Grandmaster said to get him to the Barn before sundown.”

“I’m trying my best here,” the first one said. “Those robes don’t exactly make it easy.”

“They’re ceremonial!”

“Right now they’re a ceremonial pain in my butt,” the first cultist retorted which made the other sputter.

As they moved passed the three teens’ hiding spot, their voices faded in the distance. The ensuing silence was broken by Sam's “Dibs on any skulls when we raid the evil lair”.

“Why can we never have normal vacations?” Danny mumbled as he let his face fall in his hands.

[jadedchainsaw]

One Piece men if you ask them to peel you an orange/tangerine

Through the good graces of our girl Nami, she let you have one of her precious tangerines, but you don’t want to peel it so instead you go to bug one of your crewmate’s.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

———————————————————————

Luffy:

“Hey Luffy, can you-“

“Oh thanks, a snack!”

He eats it whole, right out of your hand

You: 😦

“Did you want something?”

Zoro:

Already grumpy that you woke him up from a nap but begrudgingly agrees, holding out his hand

The dumbass tries to split it in two with his bare hands

Gets the juice in his good eye

RIP

Sanji:

(If you identify as a woman)

As if you have to even ask this man

He snatches the fruit out of your hand the second you walk into the kitchen

Peels and plates it fancy, like a rose.

And he makes a tea out of the orange peels (we love a zero waste ship-household)

(If you identify as a man)

“Peel it your damn self.”

Damn

Usopp:

Agrees to peel it for you but now you have to listen to one of his made up stories.

“You know, this reminds me of the time I single handedly saved a city from a vicious orange-a-saurus! What, you’ve never heard of it? Well it’s a savage beast, three times the size of the sunny with razor sharp-“

You get the picture

Chopper:

Agrees to peel it for you, but he can’t quite get it with his hooves

You end up peeling it and sharing the fruit together

Franky:

He makes a little robot to peel the orange for you

Dubs it the “Franky peeler-nator 500”

he and the little robot strike a cool pose

Brook:

He happily agrees to peel it for you

He’ll tell you a story about his old crew and Laboon

“Oh my, this orange juice sure feels sticky! Or it would if I had any skin! Yohoho!

Now, may I see your panties-“

Jinbe:

Of course he’ll peel it for you

He’ll hand each slice to you one at a time as he steers the ship

Kind of like a dad and his kid

Killer:

Agrees, but he’ll slice it instead of peeling it

Still plates it nicely for you

Kid:

You’re better off asking killer but if you’re that determined-

“What are ya’? A fucking baby?”

Does it after some convincing, but he’ll loudly complain about getting it under his nails

Law:

“No.”

Slams the door in your face

You walk away dejectedly but you hear his office door open again and Law heavily sigh, motioning for you to come back so he can peel it for you