#That frustration all over again
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"little miss prairie faerie" is a cute name actually... (but I won't use it if she doesn't like it)
#neopets#illusen#aquanutart#thank you faerie festival for letting me support my childhood fave#even though i stumbled into the festival five days in and was randomly assigned a team because i was too late to choose#i was like yesss i can get rid of all my junk from the plot--wait i can get a faerie doll??#nevermind. i have to do this RIGHT#okay! time to rediscover my addiction to cheat!#...okay! time to restrain myself from spending all my free time on cheat!#i used to sit there obsessively playing cheat! on dial-up back in the day#also due to the festival i won at cheeseroller for the first time in my entire life. then i was too happy with my honey cheese to donate it#as a kid i didn't know how to play cheeseroller because i didn't know what cheese name to enter#i just sat there staring at the empty input box trying to think of a name of a cheese out of my head. it was very frustrating#i kept playing cheeseroller after i won because i was so happy i finally figured out how to play but i haven't won again since then#my one honey cheese remains my treasured prize. no i did not donate it#anyway my determination to farm 8-point items ended after one day when i realized how much time it takes to play cheat!#and i switched to 6-point but then missed a day and wound up with not enough points to get the staff#but i had actually been agonizing anyway over how i wouldn't end up with enough points to get the staff AND the faerie doll#simple choice now. i can have faerie dolls guilt-free
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Times they had to say goodbye — [3.5/4]
Pocahontas (1995)
#i had to split this scene into 2 parts#bc it's Long and they say good bye twice over#so like. yeah. hopefully i'll post the last part tomorrow 👍#pocahontas (1995)#pocahontas x john smith#pocajohn#pocajohn so long and farewell#disney pocahontas#disney john smith#pocahontasedit#pocahontasgif#disneyedit#disneygif#pocahontas#john smith#i want to talk to the color department about the light variance in this film?????#the skin color adaptation to various light changes is so cool but so frustrating to keep consistent in gifsets yo#gifset no. 23235 of That Kiss#john smith is literally about to pass out look at him#he strained himself like twice. once when he's ''helping'' pocahontas down (why)#and again when he's starting to panic as the circumstances really sink in and he sees that pocahontas is all distressed#and he can't do much bc he has a stupid gut wound#like u GH
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Anyway. Any last words you wanna say to me before I drink bleach
I SHOULD HAVE NEVER GOT TEMPTED BY ANOTHER MAN BEFORE JACK'S BIRTHDAY 😭😭😭 NEVER AGAIN NEVER AGAINNN
NOT THE GAMER!!! GO AWAY I DONJT WANT YOU HERE
#jack im sososos sorry for my moment of weakness it cost me everythkng I'm never looking at another man ever again#goaway idia im not brcoming your gamer girl im over this phase#imgonna kill this cat snd this pasty gamer.#second fave getting cockblocked by other second fave wasn't what i expected#im so frustrated im legit crying 😭#jack not being in the event + didnt even get leona ssr made me lose all the will to continue with this event tbh#sighs. will draw the new guy maybe. or not. idc im numb#gacha#leona kingscholar
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Phil: There is a small delay– it's the same translations as the ones used for the– the ones on screen that you can turn off right now. Those ones with the plugin, only it's sending it to a browser source so I can pop it onto the screen. It's cool! I like it. I'm sad I can't customize it more when I'm offline. I have to like, do it when I'm live. So... there we go, nice little test.
Phil: If I add it fully, I'll add all the languages Chat, and then try and make them match. I guess I could probably figure it out on my alt.
I know there's been a lot of bad news this week, so I want to share something nice: Phil is thinking about adding subtitles on screen so that VOD watchers can still have access them.
#Philza#Phil#This DID make me burst into tears all over again#Phil plays hardcore#May 15 2024#There are still good ripple effects#Even if I'm still grieving and sad and frustrated#The ripple effects are good
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link to the store here
#boost is appreciated guys#it's been hard to work with all the moving from one side of the world to the other#and the block is been blocking#nothing that i could do about it honestly#frustrating nonetheless#i feel like that is going to be over soon and i'll be back at it#anyway will be happy to ship some orders again〜❤️#shop tag
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okay this has been going through my mind for days and I have to get my thoughts out before I explode
Disclaimer, this is not talking about a specific artist/person and would never condone or participate in anon hate or online bullying for any reason but especially this one.
I get why people are mad about Link being portrayed as this buff, hypermasculine, tall guy. I am too (again don’t fucking attack people over it though) and it seems like such an infuriating way to change the character just to fit into some ideal of hypermasculine attractiveness or to make a ship fall into a more hetero lense by making him a decent foot taller than whatever girl he’s being paired with.
The world of video games and action movies and every form of media ever is extremely saturated with male characters that are swole and manly and whatever other descriptors people are trying to push onto Link that don’t fit into his actual character. There are so many characters out there that already fit this male standard and having a clearly androgynous elf guy was like a breath of fresh air.
Link was literally designed to be a character whose lines on gender were blurred, ‘a girl with a masculine touch or a guy with a feminine touch’ so that anyone could project themselves onto him. His physical design in botw/totk was specifically made to be feminine enough to wear a certain outfit to pass as a woman (which includes a nearly mandatory cutscene where he puts on the clothes and blushes after being called pretty, like you have to be blind to think that its an experience that he doesn’t like at all) and in totk there are a bunch of outfits made for Link that are blatantly gnc, ones that are practically dresses, include nail polish and lipstick, you can even dye his hair bright and vivid colors and that’s half way to giving him new pronouns. The whole reason Linkle isn’t included in more mainline loz games was because her existence would force Link into a gender dichotomy, if there's a clearly female version of the main hero, that means the main hero has to be a man, and they would rather abandon a potential reoccurring character than make Link conform to a gender binary.
So pardon me when it feels disingenuous and even malicious for him to be morphed into these clear masculine ideals, where he towers over any female romantic partner (even when in canon he is regularly depicted as noticeably shorter than her) or even in m/m fanworks he’s really beefed up, perhaps to make the scene feel more gay or something.
Perhaps it’s because his more twink-y/ femboy body type is so heavily sexualized (though obviously when people are sculping abs on him it’s totally not because they’re horny about it) and that’s an issue in itself that bothers me. But it’s just so tiring to see one of the very few popular main characters who is short and feminine and androgynous be molded into just another bland muscle-headed action hero over and over and over again.
I’m not mad at the creators for portraying him differently than how I like him portrayed, I’m mad because we really do get so few characters like him in good popular media, and to be honest, I really like him the way that he is. I love that he’s tiny and has long hair and has the option to dress any way the player likes. It seems a little distasteful to make him taller than a female love interest just because that’s how straight couples have to be, there’s just never been a real straight couple where the guy is shorter than the girl, that’s just Impossible! (/s)
#i doubt anyone read this all i just needed to get it off my chest and this felt like the best place to do it#again i don't think it's a reason to bully or even just say mean things to people over their portrayal of link#but i get why it's so frustrating to people#like... link is lowkey a hero for trans guys who aren't tall and aren't ending up as masculine as they had hoped#but he's still exceptionally capable and he's still there to be an image for people who see themselves in him#idk this is just a rant#rant#zelink#loz#botw#totk
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naw whos the crusty ass bitch who thinks its cute to take my ocs cause what is this
#''dergu zerghed'' thats the sound youll make after i hit u over the head with a mf frying pan#jk i just fukkin reported it man im so tired#even moreso they did enough digging to find the one where i threw freckles on him for an obscure ask like biiitch?????#got a comment on twitter abt how someone loved this character on spicychat and found more art of him and i immediately was out for blood#idc abt the cod fanart being thown all over every website i knew what i was getting into with that shit but my ocs#?#you take my oc my heart n soul ive been building for 10+ years slap some dumbfuck name on him and feed him thru a Fucking AI machine#thats whats rlly boiling my blood tbh fukkin selfish behavior#i went to investigate and i was on a waitlist for it im gunna kmssssss#i am once again plagued with the frustration of the major disconnect of people going 'oh yeah ai bad >:(''#yet falling for every single ai trap there is like some stupidass koala#now my character done been sacrificed to The Machine bc mfs too goddamn lazy to make real friends to rp with#aight the ugly bitch is tryin to take the wheel i gotta stfu
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euphrasia :D trying to get the hang of csp
#my art#scrib’s scribbles#fanart#ninjago#lego ninjago#ninjago dragons rising#euphrasia ninjago#ninjago euphrasia#experimenting with the headcanon that the ppl of cloud kingdom have feathers in some places to help them keep warm at their high altitude#i’ve used ibis for like 8 years so it’s a little frustrating suddenly having to learn a new program all over again but. i’m working at it!!!#i will know enough clip studio to get me through me eprops class istg
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one thing I have to keep reremembering every time I'm playing a soulslike/similar kind of difficult game -- and that I wish I could internalize elsewhere in my life as well -- is that you always, always have to suffer through the long dark of an inexplicable failcringe era before you can emerge into a fresh new dawn of competence. faceplanting into humiliating failure in ways you hadn't even conceived of before on a loop can sometimes be the herald of great and wondrous things to come soon. don't be so quick to abandon yourself in the early murk of daybreak because you think you just suck!!!
#returnal out here reminding me of the great truths yet again#I am crying and screaming my way through the fractured wastes. I may have relinquished all dignity. but I am making progress#returnal#tbf I do find the grind weirdly comforting. this game is Doing something with the strange paradoxical comfort of misery#and it's doing it very well. fills the same 'knocking your head against a wall for the pleasure of it' depression niche#as farming for souls in formsoft games haha. we must imagine the bearer of the curse happy#it's the same thing I'm doing in real life but at least in games you get to see tangible progress within ten hours. not so in life I fear#the only part of the game I haven't loved so far is the nemesis boss fight but that kind of checks out considering what sorts of bosses#I normally struggle with. I love a dance partner boss I hate a 'so much is going on all the time all over the place what the fuck' boss#I could fight malenia for hours but when you fill my screen with noise I am frustrated and defeated lol#fight me man on man you COWARD!!!#thank god the game doesn't force you to replay bosses after you beat them the first time (though the others were kind of fun so)
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Wow! Jean looks so cool in the water! I'm so glad he has no water related trauma!
#this drawing was originally much darker but the whole thing changed throughout the process because I was getting so frustrated over his face#now we're here.#yay.#my hand hurts so bad#i never want to pick up a pencil again#i hate Jean Moreau now.#went through the damn seven stages of grief trying to draw him#actually cried a little#never again#anyway#check back in tomorrow for another Jean artwork!!!#aftg#aftg fanart#art#all for the game#aftg jean#jean moreau#tsc fanart#jean yves moreau#jean moreau fanart
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#persona 4#p4#persona 4 dancing all night#p4d#hanamura yosuke#yosuke hanamura#satonaka chie#chie satonaka#see this is super funny because chie describes yosuke as cool behind his back and we know she finds him reliable and trustworthy#esp in p4au where we see how she turns to yosuke for affirmation when shes frustrated or terrified#chie and yosuke quibble a lot and shes 100% joking here because its very much in line with the kind of ribbing the IT give each other#i feel like yosuke took this a bit seriously though yaboy probably went home and replayed that moment over and over again in his head#so i guess when i say super funny i guess i mean someone please give yosuke a hug by which i mean lets all give yosuke a hug#i think he reacts like this a lot to be fair its rare that hes calm enough to realise that hes being poked fun at#he's good with his queue
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Time loop fic but it’s just Thor stuck confronting Loki during Avengers 1 except Loki is actually evil this time and wants Thor dead so Thor just. keeps dying. He tries not to hurt Loki the first few loops but keeps getting killed and starts taking it personally so he steps up his game to actually try to win/kill Loki back but he still keeps losing.
#Thor like haha those were flukes surely this time I will—#and nope he’s done the fight is over Loki was invisible behind him and got him in the neck. yikes.#Thor being so frustrated like he’s been through all of Avengers 1 and now he keeps getting sent back to a 1v1 scene and can’t pass it#he’s so frustrated about WHY#and like no way is he losing a fight to LOKI#it is his 432nd time in the time loop and Thor dies with the sceptre through his chest. again.#he doesn’t get it#maybe this Thor is from further in the future too thinking Loki was just having his mind manipulated etc.#but this time it’s the real thing so Thor won’t be able to get through#I think he doesn’t comprehend that at all#he tries telling Loki he doesn’t need to pretend bc he knows about Thanos and Loki doesn’t even listen
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OKAY! Chatot rant in tags below! Read at your own discretion.
#okay starting from the beginning of where ppl usually dislike him. apple woods chapter.#he doesn’t give hero/partner the CHANCE to explain themselves despite them being relatively good recruits up until that point.#and that legit might be my only gripe with that chapter bc!!! stories need conflict! I LIKE the conflict in apple woods!!!#hero and partner being punished so something they didn’t do!#the misunderstanding! how team skull (Skuntank) actually outplays the main duo with a clever yet rotten trick. I LOVE that it segways into-#one of the more sweeter scenes of guild members looking out for eachother. I LIKE APPLE WOODS CONFLICT.#but chatot just. not giving them a chance. is so dumb.#I’d personally fix this by having a lil montage of hero/partner fucking up on jobs. A LOT. and chatot giving them a pass every time.#and let the perfect apple incident BE the one where he puts his foot down and doesn’t listen to them. bc he’d given them loads of chances.#and doesn’t want to hear any excuse.#but yeah. I legit dont mind him during that chapter except for that really stupid and frustrating moment.#NOW. CHAPTER 17.#UGGGGHHH WHERE DO I BEGIN#Him not believing hero and Partner about Grovyle and the future being in ruin? FINE. ACTUALLY GOOD. BC CHATOT WOULD BE SKEPTIC.#IT FITS HIS CHARACTER!!#BUT WHAT DOES SUCK. IS HIM GOING ‘Dusknoir isn’t the bad guy. he didn’t do anything wrong’#WHEN HE LITERALLY KIDNAPPED HERO AND PARTNER RIGHT I N F R O N T OF HIM.#(NO LITERALLY. HIS CHARACTER IS IN THE FRONT ROW WHEN IT HAPPENED.)#and him. having the GALL to tell hero and partner they must’ve been ‘seeing things’ and downplaying the HELL they went through.#despite them being missing for hours/days. his own guild recruits. and his angry sprite showing up.#like. I think that’s when I genuinely despised him.#that and him going ‘OH I BELIEVED YOU THE WHOLE TIME HEEHOO :)’ shit was so fucking annoying.#just playing it off as a joke the second the guild started to believe hero and partner.#IMAGINE IF HE W A S ACTUALLY TESTING THE GUILD’S TRUST. SHOWCASING HIM AS THE MORE RESPONSIBLE AND RESPECTFUL RIGHT HAND OF THE GUILD.#and yes. Brine cave he saves hero and partner. but at that point I just didn’t care anymore.#he fucked those two over so much. that I didn’t care what ‘valiant’ sacrifice he had.#and he grills Team Skull for what they did OFF SCREEN. they couldn’t even give us THAT.#<<< THAT or him outright saying sorry would’ve been nice. IKIK his ‘actions’ or whatever but.#eughh again this is all imo. I’m not trying to make people hate him or change their mind.#I’ll get into positives in the second post cause I’m running out of tags
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HOTD is like if GOT started with Season 8's quality of writing and you could tell before it aired that was going to be the case when they decided to start the show off making huge changes. So glad I decided to ignore it altogether, sorry for the book readers who are currently suffering though 🙏🏾
#anti hotd#even locals are getting frustrated and bored that's how you know it's bad#all we can do is hope that George releases TWOW cause HBO's adaptations bring nothing but disappointment 🤷🏾♀️#the inconsistent character writing to try and force nuance and complexity cause they wanted to /both sides/ the dance is the#kind of shitty writing decisions you make when you try and write toward audience expectations instead of focusing on the story#literally all they had to do was expand on what was already written it's an adaptation not an original work 🥴#now they're writing in circles and couldn't tell you a character's motivations to save their lives#it's GOT's downfall all over again the difference is HOTD didn't have the same rise
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In case it hasn't been made clear, Behind The Codes is not a horror series. Despite having some disturbing themes, it doesn't focus on them the same way FNAF games did.
#I'm a big fan of silence as a cinematic tool#and when something feels wrong but you can't actually point your finger at it#as well as the concept of dreams and nightmares#the more time you spend analyzing them. the more you realize what's really troubling you deep down#some themes and visuals are tricky and make you frustrated because their meanings are unknown to you#things that are “without foot nor head”#might as well mention the concept of time running out. there are PLENTY more themes to explore!#you know you don't have to fear anything. as long as you keep your mind's integrity#but what if someone were to take that away from you. something so personal as a name or a story#an empty vessel will seek out fulfillment and eventually learn to love and hate all over again#starbstalks
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that call center job so far seems okay. the company and colleagues seem really nice, it seems to be a good environment. so far so good. i only have good vibes. but the fucking low salary!!! how am i supposed to get by working part time with that? (because i'll be going to school full time on the 30th, taking yet another school loan) i have no clue. it'll be really difficult. the hourly salary is about 45% of what i used to make working in vfx (after 8 years) so it's like. such a slap in the face and such a rough fall tbh. especially when up till june this year i was expecting to go back to the vfx industry after a couple months being unemployed.
anyway AT LEAST it's a job, it's better than nothing, i know. but still, it's very difficult to come to terms with this and realizing i will never have that salary again, or at least not anytime soon. i won't have the life i think i was gonna have. it'll take like another decade to have an okay salary like i used to have (just for 2 years in 2021-2023 tbh). it's really hard realizing i won't be able to like...put money aside for travel and a car/condo/house or things like that. i'll probably won't be able to get a dog like i've been dreaming of cause i can't afford to move somewhere where dogs are accepted. unless i find a sugar mommy or daddy i guess. i know it's the depression talking but it truly feels like life's not worth it right now and it's hard ro imagine it ever will.
#i feel bad for whining about that#but i worked hard in film school for 3 years and then for 8 years in the industry to get there#and it's all gone just because our government fucking SUCKS#it's frustrating and i wanna get over it#i was poor for most of my life except some recent years so i guess i'll get used to it again#shut up alie#tbd
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