#Texas. Died on August 27th

[k-i-l-l-e-r-b-e-e-6-9]

Stevie Ray Vaughan - Crossfire

[greatworldwar2]

• Doris Miller

Doris "Dorie" Miller was a United States Navy cook third class. He was the first black American to be awarded the Navy Cross, the second highest decoration for valor in combat after the Medal of Honor.

Miller was born in Waco, Texas, on October 12th, 1919, to Connery and Henrietta Miller. He was named Doris, as the midwife who assisted his mother was convinced before his birth that the baby would be a girl. He was the third of four sons and helped around the house, cooked meals and did laundry, as well as working on the family farm. He was a fullback on the football team at Waco's Alexander James Moore High School. He began attending the eighth grade again on January 25th, 1937, at the age of 17 but was forced to repeat the grade the following year, so he decided to drop out of school. He filled his time squirrel hunting with a .22 rifle and completed a correspondence course in taxidermy. He applied to join the Civilian Conservation Corps, but was not accepted. At that time, he was 6 feet 3 inches (1.91 m) tall and weighed more than 200 pounds (91 kg). Miller worked on his father's farm until shortly before his 20th birthday. Miller's nickname "Dorie" may have originated from a typographical error. He was nominated for recognition for his actions on December 7th, 1941, and the Pittsburgh Courier released a story on March 14th, 1942, which gave his name as "Dorie Miller". Since then, some writers have suggested that it was a "nickname to shipmates and friends."

Miller enlisted in the United States Navy for six years on September 16th, 1939. He did his recruit training at Naval Station Norfolk in Virginia, then was promoted to mess attendant third class, one of the few ratings open at the time to black sailors. After training school, he was assigned to the ammunition ship Pyro (AE-1) and then transferred on January 2nd, 1940, to the Colorado-class battleship West Virginia (BB-48). It was on the West Virginia where he started competition boxing, becoming the ship's heavyweight champion. In July, he was on temporary duty aboard the Nevada (BB-36) at Secondary Battery Gunnery School. He returned to the West Virginia on August 3rd. He was promoted to mess attendant second class on February 16th, 1941.

Miller was a crewman aboard the West Virginia and awoke at 6 a.m. on December 7th, 1941. He served breakfast mess and was collecting laundry at 7:57 a.m. when Lieutenant Commander Shigeharu Murata from the Japanese aircraft carrier Akagi launched the first of seven torpedoes that hit West Virginia. The "Battle Stations" alarm went off; Miller headed for his battle station, an anti-aircraft battery magazine amidships, only to discover that a torpedo had destroyed it. He went then to "Times Square" on deck, a central spot aboard the ship where the fore-to-aft and port-to-starboard passageways crossed, reporting himself available for other duty and was assigned to help carry wounded sailors to places of greater safety. Lieutenant Commander Doir C. Johnson, the ship's communications officer, spotted Miller and saw his physical prowess, so he ordered him to accompany him to the conning tower on the flag bridge to assist in moving the ship's captain, Mervyn Bennion, who had a gaping wound in his abdomen where he had apparently been hit by shrapnel after the first Japanese attack. Miller and another sailor lifted the skipper but were unable to remove him from the bridge, so they carried him on a cot from his exposed position on the damaged bridge to a sheltered spot on the deck behind the conning tower where he remained during the second Japanese attack. Captain Bennion refused to leave his post, questioned his officers and men about the condition of the ship, and gave orders and instructions to crew members to defend the ship and fight. Unable to go to the deck below because of smoke and flames, he was carried up a ladder to the navigation bridge, where he died from the loss of too much blood despite aid. He was posthumously awarded the Medal of Honor.

Lieutenant Frederic H. White had ordered Miller to help him and Ensign Victor Delano load the unmanned number 1 and number 2 Browning .50 caliber anti-aircraft machine guns aft of the conning tower. Miller was not familiar with the weapon, but White and Delano instructed him on how to operate it. Delano expected Miller to feed ammunition to one gun, but his attention was diverted and, when he looked again, Miller was firing one of the guns. White then loaded ammunition into both guns and assigned Miller the starboard gun. Miller fired the gun until he ran out of ammunition, when he was ordered by Lieutenant Claude V. Ricketts to help carry the captain up to the navigation bridge out of the thick oily smoke generated by the many fires on and around the ship; Miller who was officially credited with downing at least two enemy planes. "I think I got one of those Jap planes. They were diving pretty close to us," he said later. Japanese aircraft eventually dropped two armor-piercing bombs through the deck of the battleship and launched five 18-inch (460 mm) aircraft torpedoes into her port side. When the attack finally lessened, Miller helped move injured sailors through oil and water to the quarterdeck, thereby "unquestionably saving the lives of a number of people who might otherwise have been lost." The ship was heavily damaged by bombs, torpedoes, and resulting explosions and fires, but the crew prevented her from capsizing by counter-flooding a number of compartments. Instead, West Virginia sank to the harbor bottom in shallow water as her surviving crew abandoned ship, including Miller; the ship was raised and restored for continued service in the war. On the West Virginia, 132 men were killed and 52 were wounded from the Japanese attack. On December 13, Miller reported to the heavy cruiser Indianapolis (CA-35).

On January 1st, 1942, the Navy released a list of commendations for actions on December 7th. Among them was a single commendation for an unnamed black man. The National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) had asked President Franklin D. Roosevelt to award the Distinguished Service Cross to the unknown black sailor. The Navy Board of Awards received a recommendation that the sailor be considered for recognition. On March 12th, an Associated Press story named Miller as the sailor, citing the African-American newspaper Pittsburgh Courier; additional news reports credited Lawrence D. Reddick with learning the name through correspondence with the Navy Department. In the following days, Senator James M. Mead (D-NY) introduced a Senate bill to award Miller the Medal of Honor, and Representative John D. Dingell, Sr. (D-MI) introduced a matching House bill. Miller was recognized as one of the "first US heroes of World War II". He was commended in a letter signed by Secretary of the Navy Frank Knox on April 1st, and the next day, CBS Radio broadcast an episode of the series They Live Forever, which dramatized Miller's actions. Black organizations began a campaign to honor Miller with additional recognition. On April 4, the Pittsburgh Courier urged readers to write to members of the congressional Naval Affairs Committee in support of awarding the Medal of Honor to Miller. On May 11th, President Roosevelt approved the Navy Cross for Miller. On May 27th, Miller was personally recognized by Admiral Chester W. Nimitz, Commander in Chief, Pacific Fleet, aboard the aircraft carrier Enterprise (CV-6) at anchor in Pearl Harbor. Nimitz said of Miller's commendation, "This marks the first time in this conflict that such high tribute has been made in the Pacific Fleet to a member of his race and I'm sure that the future will see others similarly honored for brave acts."

Miller was advanced in rank to mess attendant first class on June 1st, 1942. On June 27th, the Pittsburgh Courier called for him to be allowed to return home for a war bond tour along with white war heroes. On November 23rd, Miller returned to Pearl Harbor and was ordered on a war bond tour while still attached to Indianapolis. In December, and January 1943, he gave presentations in Oakland, California, in his hometown of Waco, in Dallas, and to the first graduating class of black sailors from Great Lakes Naval Training Station. He was featured on the 1943 Navy recruiting poster "Above and beyond the call of duty", designed by David Stone Martin. He then reported to Puget Sound Navy Yard at Bremerton, Washington on May 15th, 1943 when he was assigned to the newly constructed escort carrier Liscome Bay (CVE-56). He was advanced in rank to cook third class on June 1st. The ship had a crew of 960 men, and its primary functions were to serve as a convoy escort, to provide aircraft for close air support during amphibious landing operations, and to ferry aircraft to naval bases and fleet carriers at sea. After training in Hawaii waters, Liscome Bay left Pearl Harbor on November 10th, 1943 to join the Northern Task Force, Task Group 52. Miller's carrier took part in the Battle of Makin (invasion of Makin by units of the Army's 165th Regimental Combat Team, 27th Infantry Division) which had begun on November 20th. On November 24th, the day after Makin was captured by American soldiers and the eve of Thanksgiving that year (the cooks had broken out the frozen turkeys from Pearl Harbor), the Liscome Bay was cruising near Butaritari (Makin's Atol's main island) when it was struck just before dawn in the stern by a torpedo from the Japanese submarine I-175 (fired four torpedoes at Task Group 5312). The carrier's own torpedoes and aircraft bombs including 2,0000 pounders were detonated a few moments later, causing the ship to sink in 23 minutes. There were 272 survivors from the crew of over 900, but Miller was among the two-thirds of the crew listed as "presumed dead". His parents were informed that he was missing in action on December 7th, 1943. Liscome Bay was the only ship lost in the Gilbert Islands operation.

A memorial service was held for Miller on April 30th, 1944, at the Second Baptist Church in Waco, Texas, sponsored by the Victory Club. On May 28th, a granite marker was dedicated at Moore High School in Waco to honor him. Miller was officially declared dead by the Navy on November 25th, 1944, a year and a day after the loss of Liscome Bay. One of his brothers also had served during World War II. Miller was 24 years old at the time of his death. Miller's legacy continues in many memorials to his service. Doris Miller Memorial, a public art installation honoring Miller on the banks of the Brazos River in Waco, Texas. A bronze commemorative plaque at the Doris Miller Park housing community located near Naval Station Pearl Harbor; organized by the Alpha Kappa Alpha sorority and dedicated on October 12th, 1991, which would have been Miller's 72nd birthday. Even the U.S Navy honored Miller with the USS Miller (FF-1091), a destroyer escort (reclassified as a Knox-class frigate on June 30th, 1975) was commissioned on June 30th, 1973, in honor of Miller. Miller's likeness and story has also been portrayed in films, such as Miller being awarded the Navy Cross was portrayed in the 2019 film Midway. In Michael Bay's 2001 film Pearl Harbor, Miller is portrayed by actor Cuba Gooding Jr. Although he is not identified by name, Miller is portrayed by Elven Havard in the 1970 film Tora! Tora! Tora!

[phoenix1966sbottom]

Big Bang 2019

It’s that time of year again!

I’ll be updating and reblogging this at the end of each day, give or take. No postings on weekends. I will also be updating the Honorable Mentions post, which will have switching, ambiguous sex and no penetrative sex stories with Sam/Jared. Please consider leaving a comment if you read any of these stories, as it is the only payment the author ever receives. And, as always, head the warnings where the story is posted.

June 17th - Nothing that fits the criteria (there is one left to post tonight, but it’s getting late here).

June 18th - Nothing that fits the criteria.

June 19th -  Nothing that fits the criteria.

June 20th -  Nothing that fits the criteria (still waiting for the one that didn’t post the first day).

June 25th - Nothing that fits the criteria.

No posting on weekends. See you on Monday!

June 24th - In the Coils of a Snake by Sanshal on Ao3. Jared/Jensen. J2 AU. Jared was an undercover cop determined to cut the head off the criminal hierarchy of his city....only question was, would he successfully manage to behead the snake or would the snake swallow him first? (Warning for bottom!Jared purists: he wants to top Jensen and digitally penetrates him once; Jensen doesn’t want to bottom and nothing more happens)

June 25th - Nothing that fits the criteria.

June 26th - Dancing on the Head of a Pin by storyspinner 70 on Ao3. Sam/Dean. Wincest AU.  Dean is an Alpha shrouded in mystery and darkness – quite literally. Sam is a revolutionary forcing change in the world the only way he knows how – with guns and blood and death. Dean makes a living doing what other weres can’t; no questions, no concerns – until a job to kill Sam becomes a drive to protect his mate instead. After a brutal betrayal, he finds his mate tortured but alive and takes him to a pack he sees only in Sam’s mind. Pack politics, an age old prophecy and magic Dean has no business wielding breed fear and cowardice that spreads from the forests to the pack lands. Sam and Dean hold their own against the fear and hatred from their pasts, but dealing with their own unusual mating and Sam’s need for something only Dean can give him lead them into a battle both are determined to win. (art by me).

June 27th - Nothing that fits the criteria.

June 28th - Nothing that fits the criteria.

No posting on weekends. See you on Monday!

July 1st - Black Velocities and Shining Movements by dimeliora on Ao3. Sam/Dean. WIncest.  Set in Season 2, Sam has sustained a terrible injury trying to protect his brother. He finds himself in a tiny, idyllic village being cared for by Dean. Unsure if his paranoia is wholly justified or the result of brain damage, Sam finds himself fighting not only to recover but to understand what is unfolding around him. (warning: vaguely implied switching when teens)

July 2nd - Into the Great Wide Open by AmyPond45 on Ao3. Sam/Dean. Wincest AU.  A hundred years ago in a dystopian world where monsters have won the West and Sam and Dean were raised not knowing they were brothers, Sam and Dean reunite after a six-year separation and go in search of Dean’s mother through the Colorado Rockies. On the way, they fight monsters, meet an Angel of the Lord, and find gruesome evidence of a lost battle and abandoned human settlements. Eventually, they admit their love for each other, and together they begin to unravel the secrets and mysteries of their world and their place in it. But will their love survive when Sam learns the truth about his birthright?

Also, as this Thursday is a national holiday in the U.S., Wendy only has stories scheduled for today and tomorrow for this week.

Happy 4th of July to those in the U.S. that celebrate it!

July 8th - Another You by Annie46fic on AO3. Sam/Dean. WIncest AU.  Dean dies fighting Michael one last time and Sam must let him go; left without his brother and knowing that he can’t bring him back Sam goes into free fall until Castiel persuades him to go on a vacation. While staying in a remote cabin Sam thinks he sees his brother and starts seeing him in other places. Finally he manages to confront what he thinks is a spirit, but this is a real person – a Dean from another dimension – one where Dean and Sam have been bought up differently and one where Dean and Sam are more than brothers. This Dean is searching for his Sammy and Sam agrees to help him…soon he becomes too fond of this alternative Dean and they fall into a relationship that might change Sam’s life forever.

July 9th -  Nothing that fits the criteria.

July 10th -  Nothing that fits the criteria.

July 11th -  Nothing that fits the criteria.

July 10th - Clamor by firesign10 on Ao3. Jared/Jensen. J2 AU. Jared, a 22 year old college student, is eager to be Turned and become a vampire himself, since he's Jensen's mate and true love. Jensen, however, is making him wait. There's still a lot of human things to experience like sunrises, surviving a car accident, a rival dance club opening near Claret, and oh yeah...becoming the pawn in a battle with the new evil vamp in town—the voluptuous and deadly Alaina Huffman.A continuation from Claret and Clarity; this story stands alone, but you may enjoy it more fully if you also read Claret and Clarity. (warning: although this is bottom!Jared, he does digitally penetrate Jensen once in chapter 2 {one sentence}). The earlier stories are bottom!Jared when explicit.

No posting on weekends. See you on Monday for the last week of stories!

July 15th - A Land of Love and Ruin by whispered_story on Ao3. Jared/Jensen/Jeff. J3 AU. After a virus wiped out most of humanity and turned some people into zombies, Jared is trying to get by on his own—until he's saved from zombies by Jeff one day and they set out to travel across the country to Texas together. Jeff makes no secret out of the fact that he's interested in Jared and despite his trust issues, Jared soon gives in to his own attraction to Jeff.But Jeff has someone waiting for him in Texas and even though he insists Jensen is just his best friend, Jared knows his feelings run a lot deeper. He plans to enjoy his relationship with Jeff for as long as he can and then let him go when they get to Texas. But Jeff refuses to give up on them.And then Jared meets Jensen. He expects to be jealous of the bond Jensen shares with Jeff or for Jensen to want Jeff to himself. But Jared gets along with Jensen as easily as he did with Jeff, and he falls for him as hopelessly as he did for Jeff. As a relationship blooms between the three of them, they set out to make a new life for themselves in a changed world. But between finding food and shelter, the approaching colder seasons as summer draws to an end and the threat of zombies as well as other survivors it's not always easy. (implied past top!Jensen/bottom!Jeff)

July 16th - True Beauty is Found Within by lullys on Ao3. Jared/Jensen. J2 AU. It’s a tale as old as time, but not quite as you were told.Jensen has one rule: to only sleep with a person once and never to get attached, he knows better than that, having truly learned his lesson in the past. Jensen knows he’s a heartless asshole, as he’s often called, and honestly doesn’t care. That’s why he’s less than pleased when his neighbor Chad brings an ugly homeless guy to live in the basement of their apartment building.Jared has a good heart, but is cursed when he says ‘no’ to a girl who turns out to be a witch, causing the memories of who he is and his exterior beauty to vanish. Jared is doomed to remain like this unless he finds someone with a cold heart who would fall in love with him before the last petal falls. Jared knows that’s impossible, so he slowly loses hope as the clock ticks.After all, who could ever learn to love a beast?

July 17th - No stories that fit the criteria.

July 18th - Nothing that fits the criteria.

Calling it early tonight. There are still 3 stories missing from earlier in the week and four scheduled for tomorrow and then that will be a wrap for this year. 

July 19th - I’ll Worship You Like You Should Be by blackrose_17 on Ao3. Jared/Jensen. J2 AU.  All his life Jared had wanted a fairy tale romance, he thought he had found that ending with his high school boyfriend and first love Stephen Amell but when he is left at the altar all his dreams come crashing down. The surprises don’t end there when he learns that Stephen not only ran off with Mob Boss Jensen Ackles latest fling but also some of his money Jared’s world is changed again as he finds himself the guest of Jensen until they find Stephen, Colton and the money. Jared never expected that the love he was searching for was with Jensen Ackles of all people.

Please leave comments, support the authors/artists and give Wendy a pat on the back for running this challenge so that we might still have years to come of it!

August 25th - A Fever Dream by brokenlittleboy on Ao3. Sam/Dean. WIncest.  Sam should have known it was too good to be true.

[fluidityandgiggles]

Sleep Is For The Weak - Chapter 17

Previous Chapters: Prologue, Chapter 1, Chapter 5, Chapter 10, Chapter 15, Last Chapter

Writing Masterlist - for previous chapters not otherwise linked, Read on AO3

Notes (I guess): Happy school year in two weeks, folks.

Not gonna lie, I actually had a plan for this chapter, and then forgot it. So... yeah, not the most cohesive or best chapter, but I got it out, and it’s nice, and I like it this way because it’s a break from the wave of panic attacks and mild transphobia the last chapter or two.

Yes, I’m back home now, and I’m doing actually much better mentally and physically than I have since September till June. But the chapters are gonna take a while longer to write from now on, because I’m about to join the scary world of job searching for the unstable ADHD brain, not to mention being involved in three regular ttrpg campaigns (where I play a halfling sorcerer, and a half-elf bard, and also DM the third one), so... my brain is busy. But I promise this fic isn’t going on hiatus! I’m still extremely dedicated and excited to be writing this fic. I love it so much. Honest.

As per every chapter, thanks go to @whatwashernameagain for KHS and for generally being a wonderful human, to @broadwaytheanimatedseries for putting up with my fangirl-levels of excitement over everything (and coming up with the original idea), to @winglessnymph, @asleepybisexual and @anony-phangirl - who, while I know they’ve all fallen out of the loop, continue to have long-lasting effects on this fic as a whole - and new to this list, to @ilovemygaydad, who I’ve asked to beta this fic for me and I hope they’d have time for that starting with the next chapter.

Happy start of college and good luck, my darling dear child. I love you.

Tag list (sort of): @bunny222, @ab-artist, @sweet-and-sour-shadowling, @your-username-is-unavailable, @virgilcrofters, @violetblossem, @maybe-i-like-the-misery, @book-of-charlie, @thatsanswitch, @thatrandomautist, @thebiggestgaypirate, @marshmallow-the-panda

(Wanna be tagged? Lemme know!)

Trigger warning: period appropriate transphobia (the early 00s were not exactly trans-friendly). This chapter is light on the transphobia, but includes aphobia, deadnaming, panphobia (yes, pansexuality was a term in the early 00s, as I learned just half an hour ago) and vague mentions of child abuse.

—————

Sunday, July 27th, 2003

Incoming call: 218-357-5555

"Ye—"

"Remy? I didn't forget your number? Oh good!"

"...Emile?"

"Yeah?"

"...what's this phone number, darling?"

"Oh! Yeah, I… my phone died, so I got a new one! Sorry I didn't tell you sooner… but, umm, I'm gonna get to the point, yeah okay, happy birthday!"

"Thank… you…? Em, you shouldn't have—"

"Ah, but see, that's where you're wrong! Because I had to, because I said that I have to! You're my best friend in the whole world, what kind of friend would I be if I didn't at least call you to say happy birthday?"

"You're precious, darling."

"Thank you! Oh, did you get my gift yet? I sent it to you in the mail last month! Did you—"

"I did, it was… well, it was unexpected, I'd give you that. Where did you even find a Jack mug anyway?"

"Disneyland…?"

"...you know what, that's fair."

"Yeah! So, happy birthday! I'll be in Manhattan next week, so like… do you wanna go see a show or something…? I haven't seen the Gypsy revival yet…"

"...it's a date, then. But you're paying."

"Yes, yes of course! It's gonna be alright, okay? You trust me?"

"With my life."

"Yay! Okay, okay, umm… yeah. I miss you! Happy birthday!"

"Thank—"

"I gotta go right now at this second it's my cousin's bat mitzvah in two days and I need to get my suit and everything but I'll call you tomorrow evening too okay?"

"Sure… have fun, darling."

"Thank you! Okay, bye!"

—————

"India M—"

"Why didn't you tell me Emile has a new number? I cannot fucking believe you!"

"He wanted to do it himself, peach. On your birthday."

"Okay… okay, I guess that's fair…"

"Happy birthday, too."

"Thanks, mom…"

"So… how'd you spend the week?"

"Nothing big happened… my dad took me to see Nina West last night. It was the fucking best."

"I'll bet. Did you have fun?"

"So much fun! She's fan-fucking-tastic. Honestly. I'd give anything for her to either do me or spare a bit of her funny to me."

"Wow… gay much?"

"Shut up."

"Don't worry, it's fine. I still need to take Jenna to a drag show sometime. Did anyone hit on you…?"

"You'll be surprised how many people hit on my dad, actually. But no. I actually broke up with Chris today because of this."

"Oh? Do tell."

"It wasn't… much. He called me a couple hours ago to say happy birthday, which is fine if you ask me but I just… it ended in him trying to talk me into not talking to Emile again. And that's normal, okay, ain't something I can't handle. But he said ‘sure he's asexual, when he isn't spreading his legs to everyone he's asexual'."

"...did he seriously think he can get away with it?"

"India, no—"

"I don't give a fuck anymore, peach. I'm not going to beat him up, you have nothing to worry about, I just… this shit is so fucking infuriating!"

"I know. But hey, look at the bright side. Ulysses and Mandy said they'll take over next year, I'm gonna let them know. He won't be back."

"That's… that's true. I'll call Mandy later. Don't worry about it. Just… what then?"

"Then I told him that it wasn't his choice, he didn't choose any of it, so he said ‘just like you couldn't choose to stay a girl, Rebecca'."

"...oh yeah. Yeah, definitely. I'm telling Mandy. She'll deck him for sure next time she sees him."

"Thanks, mom. I just… I so wanted to deck him right then! So I gave him a piece of my mind, broke up with him and hung up and deleted his number. Now we wait and see what's gonna happen."

"Good boy. I taught you well."

"Thanks… again… he also said that asexuality isn't real, and—"

"I'm flying down to Texas right now to sock him. I took karate for three years. I can do this."

"India, no… hon. Babe. You need to get settled in DC. You need to—"

"I'm buying the plane tickets right now, Remy! Watch me!"

"—You need to get your life together and get your master's degree. You do not, however, need to go break the nuts of someone who doesn't deserve your attention—"

"Who's the older and wiser one of us?"

"Right now? Not you. You told me this very thing when I wanted to kill that asshole who made a joke out of Emmy, I'm telling you this now. Don't."

"...fine. But if I ever do get the opportunity, I'm doing it."

"Good for you."

"Nobody plays my kids dirty like that."

"You go, mom."

"I will! Oh shit, I have to go!"

"What? Why—"

"I forgot Jenna's parents are coming over today and I need to go pick them up from the airport. I'll call you later to keep catching up, okay peach?"

"Okay, but—"

"Awesome, happy birthday, we love you! See you in two weeks!"

"...see y—"

—————

"...Remy?"

"Good evening, Linda… where's Leah?"

"...and here I thought you called to talk to me. But I suppose I'm only your mother, nothing—"

"Mom, please, I'll talk to you after I tell Leah something really important."

"Alright, I'm sorry. But you got the package we sent you, didn't you?"

"I did, I… I just don't understand. You painted that…?"

"Who else would sign my name on a canvas, Remy?"

"You're… right. I'm sorry. It's very nice. Thank you."

"Happy birthday, son."

"Thank… you…"

"...hello?"

"Leah…? Leah, sweetie, can you hear me?"

"Remy! Oh, oh oh oh Remy I told you I'd tell you about my camp and—"

"And how was your time at camp? Take a breath and then tell me."

"Okay! Okay, so, so we were in the woods, and in cabins, and I kinda wanted to sleep in tents but it didn't happen and it was kinda disappointing but I can always do that later, and…"

—————

August 2003

There was a blackout as Remy was trying to write an essay Dr. Gilliam asked of his class.

So his dad put him on a bus to Georgia, which is why he's making do right now at doing his schoolwork with two children running around.

"We gotta go bowling too!" Leah whispered excitedly. For the fifteenth time this hour. "And then we need ice cream, and, umm, I know where the puppies are, and—"

"Leah, love, I need to finish this essay for school right now. Give me a couple minutes, about twenty, and I'll be with you, okay?"

"Okay!"

Remy couldn't be happier to be there at that moment. He had a plane ticket booked to Boston, his rooming was already set at Lowell, the papers have all been set and he was about to room with Emile, Mandy called him the other day to ask if he'd like to help her run the queer society meetings (and of course he said yes)...

And then there was a crashing sound. And a crying toddler sound. And he had to put his laptop aside to go check on Rachel.

More like run to the kitchen to check on Rachel, who was now standing in front of broken pieces of cheap china and bawling her eyes out.

"No, sweetie, it's okay…" he picked her up and started playing with her hair, hoping to calm her down. "We're gonna clean this, okay? What were you doing with the plate?"

"Tea party!"

"You wanna have a tea party?" She nodded, hiding her face in the crook of his neck. "Okay… okay. Let's wash your face, then pick up the pieces, and then make some tea and have a tea party with your dollies. Okay, love?"

She nodded again, and he kind of had no choice. So he did what he said he'd do, sitting Rachel down in her high chair as he cleaned the broken pieces, and for a moment, he felt like an absolute idiot. He felt like he was his mom.

Well… like Rachel was his mom, and the plate was him, and he was his dad, and holy fuck Emile's show analysis habits have definitely had an effect on him and he really should stop thinking about all this ridiculousness right now.

"Remy?" Leah whispered from behind him as he was picking up the shards. Rachel was entertaining herself, rather unaware of what's going on. "Is daddy gonna be mad?"

"I—" He had to stop. And think before answering. "I don't think so, honey."

"But a plate broke…"

"...he doesn't have to know. It was just a plate. He doesn't count the plates in the cupboard, now does he?" She shook her head, her hair flying everywhere. "So he won't know. Because we won't tell him."

"Okay. I can do that."

"I know you can do that, hon. Now, how about you get your roller skates and we'll go to the park?"

"But you said tea party…"

"We can have a tea party after the park. Rachel, do you wanna go to the park?"

Rachel, who up until then mostly minded her own business, looked over and started nodding with a big smile on her face.

"So we can go to the park and then have a tea party. Where's your roller skates?"

—————

Saturday, August 30th, 2003

"It's always nice to see new faces at the queer society meetings," Mandy said with a huge smile on her face as she balanced the clipboard on her knee, Remy holding her iced coffee. "I'm glad you all could make it today. Now, let's do a name round. Everyone state your preferred name - please no dick jokes, we have people who are very uncomfortable with those in this group as well - and what brings you here, and a small fact you'd like people to know about yourself if you'd want to."

Remy just kept looking over the room. Mandy had this all under control, already having printed out a list to put everyone's names and contacts in for if they need to. India trained her well.

From the corner of his eye, Remy could see Emile bouncing in his seat.

"I'll go first. Hi, I'm Amanda, I go by Mandy, I'm pansexual—"

"That's not a real word," someone called out. Remy did his best not to glare at the person.

He was pretty sure it's Chris.

"Pansexual is a word, Christian," Mandy replied, not even looking at him. "It was coined before your grandmother was even born. Anyway, I'm Mandy, I'm pansexual, and I'm in this wheelchair today because I have fibromyalgia and today is a very bad pain day. Who wants to go next?"

It was the same old sharing circle. Some people elaborated more, some people chose not to. Emile went ham on sharing, telling everyone he was gay and asexual and talking about his bunnies at length, looking as proud as he can be.

And then it got to Remy. And he wasn't nearly as anxious as he was last year.

"I'm Remy, I'm gay and transgender, and my therapist said I can start hormone therapy this year."

[haleyangel-blog1]

My life

Hi, my name is Haley Angel. In this vlog I am going to tell you about my life. Let’s start from the beginning. I was born on October 12, 1996 at Rush Copley Hospital that makes me 22 almost 23. My parents are Claudia Olroyd and James Angel. They were married July 20th, 1991. When I was 2 years old my parents had divorced. I got to see my dad every weekend. I moved to Coal City where my mom grew up. I had struggled to leave my dad, but also had a struggled to leave my mom. Mom began dating a wonderful man named Rudy.  A year after my mom and Rudy started dating they had a beautiful baby girl Samantha (Sam). She became the best thing that could have ever happened. When I was 6 years old and Sam was 2 we moved out of the apartment in Diamond and into a house in Coal City. I hung out with a girl named Madalyn Guthrie. My mom and Rudy got married March 19th, 2002 in Jamaica. My dad had also moved from an apartment in Marseilles to a house in Ottawa. My mom decided that we needed two cats. That day we adopted Dude and Hippie. When I was 7 I had a love for soccer. I started hanging with a girl I played soccer with Hailey Howard. I was actually good at playing. When I was 9 years old I had my first crush Tyler Sanders. He was my crush till I was about 13. I began hanging out with a girl named Sarah Jerz. We were best friends. We only lived a block away from each other. As I got older I found myself having once again another crush on a guy who was named Ryan Elliott. Boys that age started wanting more than just a relationship, but wanted SEX. When I was 15 I didn't know what that was. At the beginning of 8th grade I made friends with Lauren Reddington at a football game. In august in 2010 I started going to a church OFC. They made me feel excepted. September 2010 my grandpa was diagnosed with cancer. 4 weeks later on October 31st, 2010 my grandpa Towne had died. Ryan broke up with me the next day WOW. I got over it. On July 20th, 2011 my cousin had passed away due to a motorcycle accident. As high school started my relationship with Sarah had drifted apart. My freshman year was horrible. I played on my first high school soccer team. Sophomore year started I was dating a guy from Ottawa Austin Martin. Over time school was great, but life at home sucked. Austin was mentally and emotionally abusive. He would go back and forth with me everyday. Eventually I thought I was done. 2013 I made friends with Amber Locke. I became and I started to get weak. Austin was still the same old person. He had never changed. I eventually got away from him. Junior year started and I was happier than ever until he came back. Austin sweet talked me back into being with him. My best friend Lauren who I met back in 8th grade told me to leave. I finally had enough and left. Austin would then bother me for months and eventually years. 2014 I met a guy I thought would treat me great Mike Parrott. Mike was still stuck on a girl Sam. He only wanted me when she didn't want him. December 2014 I was so over it and moved on. The last few months of my senior year were great without guys and I thought maybe the right guy would eventually move into my life. Well on April 27th, 2015 I met Nick Cundari. He asked me to be his girlfriend on April 29th, 2015. I fell involve from day one. Nick would become everything that I have needed. He was the relationship I had never expected. Aug. 2015 I started college for radiology technology. I moved in with my dad in July. 2016 we took a vacation together in Texas. We had such a great time. I got to meet his grandpa. Everything was great with him and . 2017 was also the same way till December 2017. Nicks grandpa died. For the next 6 months it was rough for Nick. 2018 at the beginning was great. June 23rd, 2018 my grandma had passed away. I was going through a rough time. August 15th, 2018 I got my kitty Hazy. Hazy was hard to deal with at first, but I love her. in September me and nick broke up for 2 months. November came along and we got back together. Life became better again. At the end of 2018 I found myself happy and excited to live. 2019 is great, but it still isn't over. 

[stephhannes]

one year.

“I realize as I write this that I do not want to finish this account.

Nor did I want to finish the year.

The craziness is receding but no clarity is taking its place.

I look for resolution and find none.

I did not want to finish the year because I know that as the days pass, as January becomes February and February becomes summer, certain things will happen. My image of John at the instant of his death will become less immediate, less raw. It will become something that happened in another year. My sense of John himself, John alive, will become more remote, even “mudgy,” softened, transmuted into whatever best serves my life without him. In fact this is already beginning to happen. All year I have been keeping time by last year’s calendar: what were we doing on this day last year, where did we have dinner, is it the day a year ago we flew to Honolulu after Quintana’s wedding, is it the day a year ago we flew back from Paris, is it the day. I realized today for the first time that my memory of this day a year ago is a memory that does not involve John. This day a year ago was December 31, 2003. John did not see this day a year ago. John was dead.”

—Joan Didion, The Year of Magical Thinking

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

this day a year ago was august 4th, 2018. nathan did not see this day a year ago. nathan was dead. 

it doesn’t feel like it’s already been one year without nathan. it feels like just yesterday we were in philly together. 

the more i think about the last day we spent together, the more i feel like i was a make-a-wish child getting a trip to disneyworld. the last day we spent together was what i would consider to be a dream day in terms of what my favorite days with nathan looked like. 

any day that we actually spent time together after he got off work was a dream day. once he started work, we were still trying to get into a routine, so for the first few weeks, we really didn’t see each other that much. he would get home from work at 4, go to the gym, eat dinner, hang out by himself for a little bit and then come to bed- where we’d usually talk for 30 minutes before he fell asleep. for that period of time, those 30 minutes were basically all of the real quality time we’d get together. but finally, we settled into a routine that allowed for more time together. 

the week before nathan died, i was out of town pretty consistently. i was in stewartstown from july 27th to the 31st, and then i went to new york on the 1st & 2nd of august. i got home late on the 2nd, nathan picked me up from the bus stop, and we immediately came home and went to bed. 

on august 3rd, nathan got to work from home for most of the day. i ran errands most of the morning and afternoon. i got home and he got done with work at basically the same time. he went to the gym, and i started cooking dinner. for some reason, this was the day that i was finally getting my life together after having a month-long nervous breakdown. i had gone to the grocery store earlier in the day and got things to cook something other than a “depression meal.” i’d also gone to the library, so i spent a lot of time that evening reading while sitting next to nathan as he was on the computer and eating dinner. 

we took a shower and then got into bed relatively early that night. i finished my book around 9:30 and we sat in bed and talked for a little bit. and then he fell asleep. i was on my laptop next to him for a little bit. the last time i touched him while he was alive was when i leaned over and kissed his shoulder when i noticed he was asleep next to me.

he was kinda half awake half asleep, and around 11 i was finally ready for bed. so i closed my laptop, and walked around the bed and closed his laptop for him, sat it down on the floor, and then went to the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth. 

and that’s when it happened.

it all happened so quickly. i thought he was just sick. i didn’t realize he was dying. and then he stopped breathing. and i called 911. and he was dead. and they tried to revive him. and he was dead. and i couldn’t get in contact with anyone. and he was dead. and they took him to the hospital, and i followed behind the ambulance. and i got to the hospital and i waited in line at the ER because that’s what you’re supposed to do in the ER. and they told me they had no record of him. and i knew that meant that he was dead. and they told me to wait. and i waited. and tried to call people. i was so scared and so alone. and i sat in that waiting room on the phone with cody and i told her everything that had just happened and i wasn’t crying yet. not yet. 

and finally they took me to a consultation room. and finally a doctor told me that he was dead. 

and they let me see him. and i sat next to him for 30 minutes. the time they put on his death certificate as the time of death was actually a time when i was sitting in that room. i knew he had been dead for a couple of hours at that point. but bureaucracy runs slowly. he was dead at 11:08pm on august 3rd, but according to the certificate it was 1 something on the 4th. at 1 something i was crying in a chair next to his hospital bed, i was crying because they wouldn’t let me touch him. all i wanted to do was hold his hand.  

i finally left the hospital at 2am. 

i got home shortly after.

our apartment had never felt more empty, and just six weeks beforehand we hadn’t moved any furniture in yet. 

i walked in and every single light was on. earlier that night nathan had literally gotten on to me about my habit of leaving lights on. our bedroom was a still-life of what had happened a few hours before. one of our grey towels was on the floor, where they had laid him down to do cpr. the blankets were all on the floor, where they’d been thrown off when nathan collapsed out of bed. the fan was still running, laying on the bed, where i’d put it after nathan knocked it down on top of himself when he fell. 

i cleaned up the vomit. i picked up all of the scattered plastic that littered our rug from everything the paramedics had unwrapped. i grabbed one of nathan’s t-shirts that i knew smelled like him. i crawled into bed. i didn’t sleep.

no one else knew that nathan was dead until august 4th. just like every other big event in our relationship, there was a period of time where it was just ours. when we started dating, we didn’t tell anyone for a couple of days because we wanted to have it to ourselves for a little bit, and when we got engaged we waited a day to tell everyone because we wanted to keep it just for us for a few hours. and even when he died, it was just ours for a couple of hours.

i didn’t sleep for two days after nathan died. 

i haven’t gotten a good night’s sleep since nathan died. 

i still remember the first thing i ate after nathan died. on august 7th i ate one biscoff cookie, the ones they give you on american airlines flights. i was flying back to texas and was so weak that i had to eat something. i remember forcing myself to eat again a few days later. i wasn’t even hungry, but i knew that i had to eat something. 

+++

one of the very first things i did after nathan died was write a eulogy. i never intended on actually verbalizing it, i just had a lot of feelings that i wanted to write down. i sat and wrote it when i came home that morning after the hospital, and a very un-edited version of it ended up being what i read at his funeral. 

i thought that maybe this one year post would be as effortless to write, but it’s been hard trying to decide what i think is the most important thing to say. 

i wish that i could sit here and say that i’m doing great and i’m coping well, but that’s just not the case. i still miss nathan so much every single day. i still wake up every morning weighed down by such an insane amount of guilt that i’m the one that gets to wake up every morning instead of him. 

i think a lot about the time that nathan told me that i’ve “never needed him for anything,” and how i also believed that to an extent for a long time. i’ve been such an independent person for my entire life, and when nathan and i got together, i relinquished a lot of that independence- even if it didn’t really seem like it to either of us. now that he’s gone, i can’t help but notice this gaping hole in my life. i’m really realizing how much i did rely on him, mostly for emotional support. the hardest part about losing nathan is knowing that the one person who knows how to make me feel better is him, and now there’s no one that gets me like he did. 

one time when nathan and i were apart for a few weeks, he said “i just haven’t learned how to get by without you yet,” to me, and that’s exactly how i feel. i just don’t know how to get by without him yet. 

i still haven’t learned how to cook for just one person. every night when i come home from work, i feel this weird emptiness because i don’t have anyone to tell about my day. i get that i’m 24 years old and i should know how to self-soothe at this point but it’s been hard not having anyone to talk me down from my weird breakdowns at 3am. and it’s been hard not having someone to force me to get out of bed on my days off. i still can’t fathom my life without nathan in it, because he’s so intwined in how i exist from day-to-day. 

i still don’t know who i am without nathan. it feels like such a huge part of my identity revolved around him for more than half of my life. i’ve been having a hard time finding a purpose. when i was in high school, everything i did circled around taking care of nathan, being there for him when he was upset or stressed. when we started dating, it was the same thing. all the decisions i made for myself revolved around how i could best support nathan. now that i’m out here actually making decisions for myself and myself only, i don’t know what i want. nathan was the artist and the scientist and the athlete and i was the loyal sidekick. it feels weird to have my own identity now. to be more than the puppy at nathan’s feet. 

+++

i always think of this line from the letter nathan wrote me right before he moved to nyc- “It doesn’t feel fair at all that we could somehow find the one person in the universe that we truly want to be with, only to have to be separated again.” it still feels so unfair that we’re separated again. i still can’t believe that this is my life now. i can’t believe that i have to do this for the rest of my life. 

+++

the question i get the most now is “so what brought you to austin from new york?” and i’ve stopped doing that thing where i try to skirt around the truth. i tell the story the exact same way every time. “after i graduated from UT, i moved to new york because my fiancé was finishing up his master’s at columbia. when he graduated we moved to philly because that was where he got a job. then he died. now i’m here.” but even that story still doesn’t cover the entire last year of my life. 

when people ask what i did for the last year, i usually just say “i was on sabbatical.” i’m thankful that i got the opportunity to spend the last year doing whatever i wanted to do. for the first time in my life, i had a little bit of freedom. for the first time, i was able to travel and see my friends that i hadn’t seen in years, and go back home to nyc, and be there without worrying about if i was going to starve or be able to afford rent. i was able to lay in bed for like 6 months without the pressure of having to get a job. 

there are some days where i feel like i’ve made no progress. but i have to remember that i spent the first few months after nathan died literally thinking i was going to die from being so sad. 

i still cry a lot, but at least i feel like a human again. i’ll never forget how awful i felt after nathan died. 

for awhile, i thought i was going to get out of this without any sort of lasting ptsd or trauma, but boy was i wrong! lately i’ve found myself with more anxiety than i’ve ever had before. i’ve been having these consistent nightmares of everyone that i care about dying, and even in my waking life i’ve started having a lot of anxiety over the concept that “oh, everyone i know is going to die and knowing my luck it’s all going to happen very soon.” i’ve gotten more obsessive over small things- i’ve been having a hard time coming to terms with my lack of control. until nathan died, i felt relatively in control of everything in my life, but i lost so much control when nathan died and now i’ve just realized that i have no grasp on anything and it’s been a lot to cope with. 

anyways hopefully i’ll get a job with health insurance soon so i can go to therapy but until then i guess i’ll just be crazy, whatever. 

+++

i spend a lot of time thinking about what this year would have looked like if nathan hadn’t died. we would have been married by now. we would probably have a dog (or at least 2 cats) by now. we would probably be packing up to move a little further into the suburbs. we would have survived our first PA winter, i’m sure it would have been 3 months of him not letting me turn the heater on. i would have been even more in love with his dumb face than i already was. 

this last year wasn’t how i imagined it would be, but it was better than it could have been. i’m thankful for everyone that’s let me sleep on their couch, and everyone that’s checked in on me periodically, and everyone that’s spent time with me over the last year. i’m thankful for the new relationships i’ve built with people from nathan’s life that have now come into mine. part of the reason that i was so excited to marry nathan was an excitement for finally being a part of a family- and when he died i was so afraid that i was going to lose all of that. i’m glad that hasn’t been the case. 

from what i’ve read, the general consensus seems to be that the 2nd year is the hardest as a widow. so uhhhhh cool, can’t wait. 

[afrikan-mapambano]

George Jackson: Black Revolutionary

By Walter Rodney, November 1971 :

"To most readers in this continent, starved of authentic information by the imperialist news agencies, the name of George Jackson is either unfamiliar or just a name. The powers that be in the United States put forward the official version that George Jackson was a dangerous criminal kept in maximum security in Americas toughest jails and still capable of killing a guard at Soledad Prison. They say that he himself was killed attempting escape this year in August. Official versions given by the United States of everything from the Bay of Pigs in Cuba to the Bay of Tonkin in Vietnam have the common characteristic of standing truth on its head. George Jackson was jailed ostensibly for stealing 70 dollars. He was given a sentence of one year to life because he was black, and he was kept incarcerated for years under the most dehumanizing conditions because he discovered that blackness need not be a badge of servility but rather could be a banner for uncompromising revolutionary struggle. He was murdered because he was doing too much to pass this attitude on to fellow prisoners. George Jackson was political prisoner and a black freedom fighter. He died at the hands of the enemy.

Once it is made known that George Jackson was a black revolutionary in the white mans jails, at least one point is established, since we are familiar with the fact that a significant proportion of African nationalist leaders graduated from colonialist prisons, and right now the jails of South Africa hold captive some of the best of our brothers in that part of the continent. Furthermore, there is some considerable awareness that ever since the days of slavery the U.S.A. is nothing but a vast prison as far as African descendants are concerned. Within this prison, black life is cheap, so it should be no surprise that George Jackson was murdered by the San Quentin prison authorities who are responsible to Americas chief prison warder, Richard Nixon. What remains is to go beyond the generalities and to understand the most significant elements attaching to George Jacksons life and death.

When he was killed in August this year, George Jackson was twenty nine years of age and had spent the last fifteen [correction: 11 years] behind bars—seven of these in special isolation. As he himself put it, he was from the lumpen. He was not part of the regular producer force of workers and peasants. Being cut off from the system of production, lumpen elements in the past rarely understood the society which victimized them and were not to be counted upon to take organized revolutionary steps within capitalist society. Indeed, the very term lumpen proletariat was originally intended to convey the inferiority of this sector as compared with the authentic working class.

Yet George Jackson, like Malcolm X before him, educated himself painfully behind prison bars to the point where his clear vision of historical and contemporary reality and his ability to communicate his perspective frightened the U.S. power structure into physically liquidating him. Jacksons survival for so many years in vicious jails, his self-education, and his publication of Soledad Brother were tremendous personal achievements, and in addition they offer on interesting insight into the revolutionary potential of the black mass in the U.S.A., so many of whom have been reduced to the status of lumpen.

Under capitalism, the worker is exploited through the alienation of part of the product of his labour. For the African peasant, the exploitation is effected through manipulation of the price of the crops which he laboured to produce. Yet, work has always been rated higher than unemployment, for the obvious reason that survival depends upon the ability to obtain work. Thus, early in the history of industrialization, workers coined the slogan the right to work. Masses of black people in the U.S.A. are deprived of this basic right. At best they live in a limbo of uncertainty as casual workers, last to be hired and first to be fired. The line between the unemployed or criminals cannot be dismissed as white lumpen in capitalist Europe were usually dismissed.

The latter were considered as misfits and regular toilers served as the vanguard. The thirty-odd million black people in the U.S.A. are not misfits. They are the most oppressed and the most threatened as far as survival is concerned. The greatness of George Jackson is that he served as a dynamic spokesman for the most wretched among the oppressed, and he was in the vanguard of the most dangerous front of struggle.

Jail is hardly an arena in which one would imagine that guerrilla warfare would take place. Yet, it is on this most disadvantaged of terrains that blacks have displayed the guts to wage a war for dignity and freedom. In Soledad Brother, George Jackson movingly reveals the nature of this struggle as it has evolved over the last few years. Some of the more recent episodes in the struggle at San Quentin prison are worth recording. On February 27th this year, black and brown (Mexican) prisoners announced the formation of a Third World Coalition. This came in the wake of such organizations as a Black Panther Branch at San Quentin and the establishment of SATE (Self-Advancement Through Education). This level of mobilisation of the nonwhite prisoners was resented and feared by white guards and some racist white prisoners. The latter formed themselves into a self-declared Nazi group, and months of violent incidents followed. Needless to say, with white authority on the side of the Nazis, Afro and Mexican brothers had a very hard time. George Jackson is not the only casualty on the side of the blacks. But their unity was maintained, and a majority of white prisoners either refused to support the Nazis or denounced them. So, even within prison walls the first principle to be observed was unity in struggle. Once the most oppressed had taken the initiative, then they could win allies.

The struggle within the jails is having wider and wider repercussions every day.

Firstly, it is creating true revolutionary cadres out of more and more lumpen. This is particularly true in the jails of California, but the movement is making its impact felt everywhere from Baltimore to Texas. Brothers inside are writing poetry, essays and letters which strip white capitalist America naked. Like the Soledad Brothers, they have come to learn that sociology books call us antisocial and brand us criminals, when actually the criminals are in the social register. The names of those who rule America are all in the social register.

Secondly, it is solidifying the black community in a remarkable way. Petty bourgeois blacks also feel threatened by the manic police, judges and prison officers. Black intellectuals who used to be completely alienated from any form of struggle except their personal hustle now recognize the need to ally with and take their bearings from the street forces of the black unemployed, ghetto dwellers and prison inmates.

Thirdly, the courage of black prisoners has elicited a response from white America. The small band of white revolutionaries has taken a positive stand. The Weathermen decried Jacksons murder by placing a few bombs in given places and the Communist Party supported the demand by the black prisoners and the Black Panther Party that the murder was to be investigated. On a more general note, white liberal America has been disturbed. The white liberals never like to be told that white capitalist society is too rotten to be reformed. Even the established capitalist press has come out with esposes of prison conditions, and the fascist massacres of black prisoners at Attica prison recently brought Senator Muskie out with a cry of enough.

Fourthly (and for our purposes most significantly) the efforts of black prisoners and blacks in America as a whole have had international repercussions. The framed charges brought against Black Panther leaders and against Angela Davis have been denounced in many parts of the world. Committees of defense and solidarity have been formed in places as far as Havana and Leipzig. OPAAL declared August 18th as the day of international solidarity with Afro-Americans; and significantly most of their propaganda for this purpose ended with a call to Free All Political Prisoners.

For more than a decade now, peoples liberation movements in Vietnam, Cuba, Southern Africa, etc., have held conversations with militants and progressives in the U.S.A. pointing to the duality and respective responsibilities of struggle within the imperialist camp. The revolution in the exploited colonies and neo-colonies has as its objective the expulsion of the imperialists: the revolution in the metropolis is to transform the capitalist relations of production in the countries of their origin. Since the U.S.A. is the overlord of world imperialism, it has been common to portray any progressive movement there as operating within the belly of the beast. Inside an isolation block in Soledad or San Quentin prisons, this was not merely a figurative expression. George Jackson knew well what it meant to seek for heightened socialist and humanist consciousness inside the belly of the white imperialist beast.

International solidarity grows out of struggle in different localities.This is the truth so profoundly and simply expressed by Che Guevara when he called for the creation of one, two, three - many Vietnams. It has long been recognized that the white working class in the U.S.A is historically incapable of participating (as a class) in anti-imperialist struggle. White racism and Americas leading role in world imperialism transformed organized labour in the U.S. into a reactionary force. Conversely, the black struggle is internationally significant because it unmasks the barbarous social relations of capitalism and places the enemy on the defensive on his own home ground. This is amply illustrated in the political process which involved the three Soledad Brothers—George Jackson, Fleeta Drumgo and John Clutchette—as well as Angela Davis and a host of other blacks now behind prison bars in the U.S.A."

[inkyardpress]

Celebrate Your Pride with 10 Great Queer Reads

Happy Pride! This month, we’re celebrating the LGBTQIAP+ community with the one thing we just can’t stop talking about: books, books and more books! There are lots of amazing novels out there repping queer voices, telling unique and impactful stories, and filing up bookshelves around the world. These are just a few of our favorite outstanding stories. What are you reading this month?

All Out: The No-Longer-Secret Stories of Queer Teens throughout the Ages edited by Saundra Mitchell 

Take a journey through time and genres and discover a past where queer figures live, love and shape the world around them. Seventeen of the best young adult authors across the queer spectrum have come together to create a collection of beautifully written diverse historical fiction for teens. 

From a retelling of Little Red Riding Hood set in war-torn 1870s Mexico featuring a transgender soldier, to two girls falling in love while mourning the death of Kurt Cobain, forbidden love in a sixteenth-century Spanish convent or an asexual girl discovering her identity amid the 1970s roller-disco scene, All Out tells a diverse range of stories across cultures, time periods and identities, shedding light on an area of history often ignored or forgotten. 

Featuring stories from: Dahlia Adler, Sara Farizan, Tess Sharpe, Shaun David Hutchinson, Kody Keplinger, Mackenzi Lee, Malinda Lo, Nilah Magruder, Anna-Marie McLemore, Tehlor Kay Mejia, Natalie C. Parker, Alex Sanchez, Kate Scelsa, Robin Talley, Scott Tracey and Elliot Wake. 

All Out is out now. Add it to your Goodreads shelf! 

Our Own Private Universe by Robin Talley 

Fifteen-year-old Aki Simon has a theory. And it’s mostly about sex. 

No, it isn’t that kind of theory. Aki already knows she’s bisexual—even if, until now, it’s mostly been in the hypothetical sense. Aki has dated only guys so far, and her best friend, Lori, is the only person who knows she likes girls, too. 

Actually, Aki’s theory is that she’s got only one shot at living an interesting life—and that means she’s got to stop sitting around and thinking so much. It’s time for her to actually do something. Or at least try. 

So when Aki and Lori set off on a church youth-group trip to a small Mexican town for the summer and Aki meets Christa—slightly older, far more experienced—it seems her theory is prime for the testing. 

But it’s not going to be easy. For one thing, how exactly do two girls have sex, anyway? And more important, how can you tell if you’re in love? It’s going to be a summer of testing theories—and the result may just be love. 

Our Own Private Universe is out now. Add it to your Goodreads shelf! 

The Sidekicks by Will Kostakis 

Ryan, Harley and Miles are very different people—the swimmer, the rebel and the nerd. All they’ve ever had in common is Isaac, their shared best friend. 

When Isaac dies unexpectedly, the three boys must come to terms with their grief and the impact Isaac had on each of their lives. In his absence, Ryan, Harley and Miles discover things about one another they never saw before, and realize there may be more tying them together than just Isaac. 

In this intricately woven story told in three parts, award-winning Australian author Will Kostakis makes his American debut with a heartwarming, masterfully written novel about grief, self-discovery and the connections that tie us all together. The Sidekicks is out now. 

Add it to your Goodreads shelf! 

Runebinder by Alex R. Kahler 

When magic returned to the world, it could have saved humanity, but greed and thirst for power caused mankind's downfall instead. Now once-human monsters called Howls prowl abandoned streets, their hunger guided by corrupt necromancers and the all-powerful Kin. Only Hunters have the power to fight back in the unending war, using the same magic that ended civilization in the first place. 

But they are losing. 

Tenn is a Hunter, resigned to fight even though hope is nearly lost. When he is singled out by a seductive Kin named Tomás and the enigmatic Hunter Jarrett, Tenn realizes he’s become a pawn in a bigger game. One that could turn the tides of war. But if his mutinous magic and wayward heart get in the way, his power might not be used in favor of mankind. 

If Tenn fails to play his part, it could cost him his friends, his life…and the entire world. 

The action-packed follow up, Runebreaker, hits shelves November 27th, 2018. 

Add it to your Goodreads shelf! 

What We Left Behind by Robin Talley 

Toni and Gretchen are the couple everyone envied in high school. They've been together forever. They never fight. They're deeply, hopelessly in love. When they separate for their first year at college—Toni to Harvard and Gretchen to NYU—they're sure they'll be fine. Where other long-distance relationships have fallen apart, theirs is bound to stay rock-solid. 

The reality of being apart, though, is very different than they expected. Toni, who identifies as genderqueer, meets a group of transgender upperclassmen and immediately finds a sense of belonging that has always been missing, but Gretchen struggles to remember who she is outside their relationship. 

While Toni worries that Gretchen won't understand Toni’s new world, Gretchen begins to wonder where she fits in this puzzle. As distance and Toni's shifting gender identity begin to wear on their relationship, the couple must decide—have they grown apart for good, or is love enough to keep them together? 

What We Left Behind is out now. Add it to your Goodreads shelf! 

Toil & Trouble: 15 Tales of Women & Witchcraft edited by Jessica Spotswood and Tess Sharpe 

History is filled with stories of women accused of witchcraft, of fearsome girls with arcane knowledge. Toil & Trouble features fifteen stories of girls embracing their power, reclaiming their destinies and using their magic to create, to curse, to cure—and to kill. 

A young witch uses social media to connect with her astrology clients—and with a NASA-loving girl as cute as she is skeptical. A priestess of death investigates a ritualized murder. A bruja who cures lovesickness might need the remedy herself when she falls in love with an altar boy. A theater production is turned upside down by a visiting churel. In Reconstruction-era Texas, a water witch uses her magic to survive the soldiers who have invaded her desert oasis. And in the near future, a group of girls accused of witchcraft must find their collective power in order to destroy their captors. 

This collection reveals a universal truth: there’s nothing more powerful than a teenage girl who believes in herself. 

Toil & Trouble hits shelves August 28th, 2018. Add it to your Goodreads shelf! 

The Diminished by Kaitlyn Sage Patterson 

 In the Alskad Empire, nearly all are born with a twin, two halves to form one whole…yet some face the world alone.

The singleborn: 

A rare few are singleborn in each generation, and therefore given the right to rule by the gods and goddesses. Bo Trousillion is one of these few, born into the royal line and destined to rule. Though he has been chosen to succeed his great-aunt, Queen Runa, as the leader of the Alskad Empire, Bo has never felt equal to the grand future before him. 

The diminished: 

When one twin dies, the other usually follows, unable to face the world without their other half. Those who survive are considered diminished, doomed to succumb to the violent grief that inevitably destroys everyone whose twin has died. Such is the fate of Vi Abernathy, whose twin sister died in infancy. Raised by the anchorites of the temple after her family cast her off, Vi has spent her whole life scheming for a way to escape and live out what’s left of her life in peace. 

As their sixteenth birthdays approach, Bo and Vi face very different futures—one a life of luxury as the heir to the throne, the other years of backbreaking work as a temple servant. But a long-held secret and the fate of the empire are destined to bring them together in a way they never could have imagined. 

The Diminished is out now. Add it to your Goodreads shelf! 

Lies We Tell Ourselves by Robin Talley 

In 1959 Virginia, the lives of two girls on opposite sides of the battle for civil rights will be changed forever. 

Sarah Dunbar is one of the first black students to attend the previously all-white Jefferson High School. An honors student at her old school, she is put into remedial classes, spit on and tormented daily. 

Linda Hairston is the daughter of one of the town’s most vocal opponents of school integration. She has been taught all her life that the races should be kept “separate but equal.” 

Forced to work together on a school project, Sarah and Linda must confront harsh truths about race, power and how they really feel about one another. 

Lies We Tell Ourselves by Robin Talley is out now. Add it to your Goodreads shelf! 

Ace of Shades by Amanda Foody 

Enne Salta was raised as a proper young lady, and no lady would willingly visit New Reynes, the so-called City of Sin. But when her mother goes missing, Enne must leave her finishing school—and her reputation—behind to follow her mother’s trail to the city where no one survives uncorrupted. 

Frightened and alone, Enne has only one lead: the name Levi Glaisyer. Unfortunately, Levi is not the gentleman she expected—he’s a street lord and con man. Levi is also only one payment away from cleaning up a rapidly unraveling investment scam, so he doesn't have time to investigate a woman leading a dangerous double life. Enne's offer of compensation, however, could be the solution to all his problems. 

Their search for clues leads them through glamorous casinos, illicit cabarets and into the clutches of a ruthless Mafia donna. As Enne unearths an impossible secret about her past, Levi's enemies catch up to them, ensnaring him in a vicious execution game where the players always lose. To save him, Enne will need to surrender herself to the city… And she’ll need to play. 

Ace of Shades is out now. Add it to your Goodreads shelf! 

Pulp by Robin Talley 

As if we couldn’t pack any more of Robin Talley’s fantastic works into this list, we have one more than needs to be on your radar. Keep an eye out for Pulp in November 2018! 

In 1955, eighteen-year-old Janet Jones keeps the love she shares with her best friend Marie a secret, but when she discovers a series of books about women falling in love with other women, it awakens something in her. As she juggles her hidden romance with a newfound ambition to write her own story, she risks exposing herself—and Marie—to a danger all too real. 

Sixty-two years later, Abby Zimet can’t stop thinking about her senior project and its subject—classic 1950s lesbian pulp fiction. The stresses of her life fall away when she's reading her favorite book. She feels especially connected to one author, a woman who wrote under the pseudonym “Marian Love,” and becomes determined to track down her true identity. 

Pulp hits shelves November 13th, 2018. Add it to your Goodreads shelf! 

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[crimehbj]

The Butcher Of Plainfield

DON’T READ IF THE MENTION OF DEATH, GORE AND MURDER MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE

Ed Gein inspired the creation of Norman Bates from Psycho, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre’s Leatherface, and The Silence of The Lamb’s Buffalo Bill.

Early life to his first murder

Born Edward Theodore Gein on 27th August 1906, in La Crosse, Wisconsin to parents George Phillip Gein (1873-1940) and Augusta Wilhelmine (née Lehrke) Gein (1878-1945). He also had an older brother, Henry George Gein (1901-1044) He grew up under the influence of his religious and overbearing mother. Augusta raised her two sons to see the world as evil, and that women were sinful. 

Augusta wanted to protect her family from this “evil” so she insisted they move away from La Crosse, to Plainfield. They lived in a farmhouse outside of the town since she believed that living in a town would corrupt her sons. 

This caused Ed only to leave their farmhouse to go to school, but he wasn’t able to hold any meaningful relationships with any of his classmates. They saw him as socially awkward and he was prone to random fits of laughter. Ed also had a speech impediment and a lazy eye which made him an easy victim to bullies. 

Despite his mother's attitude, he still adored her. His father was an alcoholic and died in 1940, he was a much smaller part of Ed’s life. He absorbed his mother’s lessons about the world and he seemed to share her harsh view of the world. His older brother Henry stood up to Augusta, but Ed never did. So it’s not surprising that Henry seemed to be Ed’s first victim. 

In 1944, Ed and Henry were sent out to clear the fields of unwanted vegetation by burning it away. As they worked, the fire suddenly got out of control and the fire brigade had to go and put it out. When they finally did, Henry was nowhere to be seen. Ed claimed he has just vanished and they filed a missing person report. Ed helped the police find him, and he lead them directly to the body of his brother, face down in the marsh. Dead. They said it was an accident, asphyxiation was the written cause of death. 

Henry’s death left Gein and his mother to live alone in isolation, until 1945 when Augusta passed away. 

After she died, Ed began his decade-long spree of crime.

Crimes of Ed Gein, The Butcher of Plainfield

After his mother’s death, Ed transformed the home into some sort of shrine in memory of her. He boarded up rooms she had used to keep them in pristine condition and he moved into a small room off the kitchen. 

After living alone, in isolation, he began to sink deeper and deeper into his obsessions. He learned about Nazi medical experiments, studied human anatomy, consumed porn, even though he had never attempted to date anyone, and read horror novels. And unbeknownst to the town, he began to indulge in his sick fantasies. For a full decade, he was left alone, no one thought anything of the Gein farmhouse outside of town.

That was until 1957 when Bernice Worden disappeared from her hardware store, leaving only bloodstains. Bernice was a 58-year-old widow who had last been seen at her store wither her last customer. Ed Gein, who was there to purchase a gallon of antifreeze. The police went to investigate Gein’s house which turned out to be something pulled out of a nightmare. 

What was found in the farmhouse

As soon as the authorities entered Ed’s house, they found Worden in the kitchen decapitated and hung from the rafters by her ankles. They also found various bones, both whole and fragmented, skulls on the bedposts, and bowls and other kitchen utensils crafted from skulls. However, they found things much worse than bones. There were chairs upholstered with skin, a wastebasket made with skin, masks crafted with human faces, leggings from human leg skin, a pair of lips being used as a drawstring to a window shade, a corset from a female torso, a belt made with nipples and a lampshade made from multiple human faces. 

They also found many dismembered body parts. Fingernails, noses and genitals to nine different women. They also found the remains of the body of Mary Hogan, a tavern keeper who went missing in 1954. 

Gein admitted that he had collected most of the remains from local graveyards that he had begun to visit two years after Augusta’s death. He said he’d gone in a daze, searching for bodies resembling his mother. He also explained to them why. He said he wanted to create a “woman suit” so he could become his mother and crawl into her skin. 

How many did he kill

Gein was arrested after the visit, but he was found not guilty by reasons of insanity in 1957 and he was sent to the Central State Hospital for the Criminally Insane. There he was diagnosed with schizophrenia. 

Ten years went by and Ed was deemed fit to stand trial. He was convicted of the murder of Bernice Worden, but not of Mary Hogan since the state allegedly saw it as a waste of money. They reasoned that Ed was insane, he would be in hospitals for the rest of his life either way. 

No one knows how many women he killed. He only admitted to Bernice and Mary, but as many as 40 bodies were found in his home - he claimed he had robbed them from graves. 

[classic-rock-roller]

The Van Halen Timeline

Mostly Taken from Everybody Wants Some: The Van Halen Saga by Ian Christe, everything after March 2007 is from my own research  

October 13th, 1947: Sammy Hagar born in Monterey, California 

May 8th, 1953: Alexander Arthur van Halen born in Holland

October 10th, 1953: David Lee Roth born in Bloomington, Indiana 

June 20th, 1954: Michael Anthony Sobolewski born in Chicago, Illinois

January 26th, 1955: Edward Lodwijk van Halen born in Holland 

July 26th, 1961: Gary Cherone born in Malden, Massachusetts 

Winter 1962: Jan van Halen emigrates with his family to California 

1967: Edward gets $100 Teisco Del Ray guitar from Sears 

1971: Alex and Eddie Van Halen form the Trojan Rubber Company 

Autumn 1973: David Lee Roth joins the Van Halen brothers in Mammoth

1973: Sammy Hagar joins Montrose, records two albums, and tours heavily 

Spring 1974: Mike Sobolewski joins Van Halen, becomes Michael Anthony 

May 1976: Gene Simmons “discovers” Van Halen at the Starwood, finances unsuccessful demo tape 

1976: Sammy Hagar leaves Montrose, launches solo career 

May 1977: Ted Templeton rediscovers Van Halen, signs band to Warner Bros.

February 10th, 1978: Release of Van Halen; leading to tours with Journey, then Black Sabbath 

October 10th, 1978: Van Halen goes platinum

March 23rd, 1979: Release of Van Halen II; first headlining tour runs through October 

March 26th, 1980: Release of Women and Children First 

August 29th, 1980: Eddie Van Halen meets Valerie Bertinelli

April 11th, 1981: Eddie marries Valerie 

April 29th, 1981: Release of Fair Warning 

April 14th, 1982: Release of Diver Down

May 29th, 1983: Van Halen paid $1.5 million to play for four hundred thousand people at US Festival ‘83

January 4th, 1984: Release of 1984, featuring band’s first number 1 singe, “Jump”

September 2nd, 1984: Final show by classic lineup in Nuremberg, Germany 

December 31st, 1984: David Lee Roth releases Crazy from the Heat

1985: Cherone’s band the Dream wins MTV’s Basement Tapes

April 1985: David Lee Roth exits Van Halen 

September 1985: Eddie Van Halen announces at Farm Aid that Sammy Hagar is Van Halen’s new lead singer 

November 19th, 1985: Sammy Hagar’s ninth studio album, VOA, becomes his first platinum-selling disc

March 24th, 1986: Release date of 5150; first “Van Hagar” album sells triple platinum by October 

July 4th, 1986: Release of David Lee Roth’s platinum solo debut, Eat ‘Em and Smile 

December 1986: Jan Van Halen dies  

May 24th, 1988: Release of OU812, followed shortly by Roth’s Skyscraper 

Summer 1988: Eddie attempts sobriety while Van Halen tours with Metallica, Scorpions, and Dokken 

February 1989: Tone Lōc;s “Wild Thing” reaches number 2, a rap single that samples Van Halen’s “Jamie’s Cryin”

April 22nd, 1990: Van Halen performs at opening of Cabo Wabo Cantina in Mexico

June 8th, 1990: Extreme’s “More than Words” single hits number 1

February 2nd, 1991: Release of David Lee Roth’s A Little Ain’t Enough, his last gold record as a solo artist

March 16th, 1991: Eddie’s son Wolfgang Van Halen born

June 17th, 1991: Release of For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge, Van Halen’s third-straight number 1 album 

January 1991: Eddie debuts the EVH Music Man guitar and the Peavey 5150 amplifier line 

April 20th, 1992: Gary Cherone joins surviving members of Queen at the Freddie Mercury Tribute Concert in London

February 23rd, 1993: Release of first official live album, Right Here, Right Now

October 16th, 1993: Van Halen’s manager since 1985, Ed Leffler, dies 

March 14th, 1994: Sammy Hagar releases solo collection, Unboxed 

October 2nd, 1994: Fresh from rehab, Eddie Van Halen announces he will never drink again

January 24th, 1995: Release of Balance, the fourth consecutive number 1 studio album 

April 7th, 1995: Eddie arrested at Burbank Airport carrying a loaded gun 

April 26th, 1995: Van Halen returns to Europe after eleven years, as an opening act for Bon Jovi

Fall 1995: David Lee Roth appears in Reno and Las Vegas with a fourteen-piece band 

November 29th, 1995: Sammy Hagar marries second wife, Kari 

June 1996: Eddie and Sammy fight during a phone call; Sammy Hagar leaves Van Halen 

August 7th, 1996: Van Halen certified diamond for ten million sold

September 4th, 1996: Original members of Van Halen appear together at MTV Video Music Awards, leading to renewed quarrels 

October 4th, 1996: Alex and Eddie announce that Van Halen’s new singer will be Gary Cherone 

October 22nd, 1996: Release of Best of Volume I, with two new songs featuring Roth; despite the recent split with the band, it is his first number 1 album 

March 17th, 1998: Release of Van Halen III, the first VH . studio album not to go platinum 

November 5th, 1999: Gary Cherone leaves Van Halen

May 2000: Texas hospital confirms Eddie in outpatient cancer prevention  

Summer 2001: Van Halen completes at least three new songs with David Lee Roth

January 2002: Van Halen’s partnership with Warner Bros. ends after twenty-three years 

April 15th, 2002: David Lee Roth and Sammy Hagar announce joint forty-date summer concert tour 

May 2002: Doctors declare Eddie Van Halen cancer free 

July 2002: Eddie and Valerie Van Halen announce separation 

April 2004: Sammy’s Cabo Wabo Cantina opens a branch in basement of a Lake Tahoe casino; Cabo Wabo tequila ships over 110,000 cases for the year

June 11th, 2004: Van Halen launches reunion tour with Sammy Hagar; relations sour by the end of the summer 

November 19th, 2004: Eddie smashes two Peavey Wolfgang guitars, ending his thirteen-year partnership 

December 6th, 2005: Eddie and Valerie officially file for divorce 

January 2006: David Lee Roth replaces Howard Stern as morning radio DJ; lasts through April 

September 2006: Eddie Van Halen announces that Van Halen will tour in 2007 with his son, Wolfgang, playing bass

December 2006: Roth rehearses with a new all-Van Halen lineup

March 2007: Van Halen inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame

September 27th, 2007: Van Halen started their new tour in Charlotte, North Carolina 

March 5th, 2008: World Weekly Entertainment to CBS News reported that the reason the tour had been interrupted was Eddie Van Halen’s needing to reenter rehab

June 2nd, 2008: The tour ended at the Van Andel Arena in Grand Rapids, Michigan       

July 3rd, 2008: Van Halen headlined the Quebec City Summer Festival 

August 2010: Warner/Chappell Music extends its administration agreements with Van Halen 

January 17th, 2011: Van Halen enters the Hensen Studio C with Producer Jon Shanks 

December 26th, 2011: Their official website is updated, announcing that tickets for their 2012 tour will be available beginning January 10th, 2012 

January 5th, 2012: Van Halen plays an intimate gig at Café Wha? in New York City

January 10th, 2012: Van Halen’s single “Tattoo” makes it’s premier on radio stations 

February 7th, 2012: A Different Kind of Truth is released 

August 30th, 2012: Eddie Van Halen is diagnosed with diverticulitis and undergoes surgery, which postpones the shows in Japan 

April 20th, 2013: Van Halen performs it’s first show outside North American with Roth since 1984

February 2015: Van Halen fansite, VHND.com, announces that Van Halen is releasing their first every live album with David Lee Roth, Tokyo Dome Live in Concert 

March 24th, 2015: Van Halen announces a 39 date tour with Roth that will take place between July and October across North America   

March 31st, 2015: Tokyo Dome Live in Concert is released 

April 2015: Eddie Van Halen tells Rolling Stone that the band “will probably hunker down and do a studio album” after their tour 

January 16th, 2016: Michael Anthony clears up the rumor that he might be rejoining Van Halen 

February 26th, 2016: David Lee Roth clears up some rumors about his recently released song “Ain’t No Christmas”, saying that it has nothing to do with Van Halen 

May 25th, 2016: David Lee Roth says he believes he’ll be back with Van Halen 

August 17th, 2016: Sammy Hagar apologizes to Van Halen  

December 23rd, 2016: Rumors start to fly about Van Halen reuniting for album and 2018 tour 

March 12th, 2017: Michael Anthony says that it’s time for Roth/Hagar Van Halen tour 

June 22nd, 2017: Michael Anthony says that now is a perfect time for a reunion of the classic lineup of Van Halen 

November 2nd, 2017: Sammy Hagar says that there is no chance of a Van Halen reunion 

January 5th, 2018: Michael Anthony is interviewed for upcoming Van Halen documentary 

January 20th, 2018: Van Halen is rumored to have new music and 2018 tour 

January 29th, 2018: Eddie Van Halen sues to stop release of “5150 Vault” documentary  

[greatworldwar2]

• 201st Fighter Squadron (Mexico)

The 201st Fighter Squadron, was a Mexican fighter squadron, part of the Mexican Expeditionary Air Force that aided the Allied war effort during World War II. The squadron was known by the nickname Águilas Aztecas or "Aztec Eagles", apparently coined by members of the squadron during training.

The 201st Fighter Squadron was formed in response to German submarines sinking two oil tankers, the SS Potrero del Llano and the SS Faja de Oro. As a response do to the outrage of Germany's attacks, the Escuadrón Aéreo de Pelea 201 (201st Air Fighter Squadron) was composed of more than 300 volunteers. Roughly 30 were experienced pilots and the rest were groundcrew. The ground crewmen were electricians, mechanics, and radiomen. that were transporting crude oil to the United States. These attacks prompted President Manuel Ávila Camacho to declare war on the Axis powers on May 22nd, 1942, and to join Brazil as the only two Latin American countries to actually send military forces overseas.

The squadron left Mexico for training in the United States on July 24th, 1944, arrived at Laredo, Texas, on July 25th, and moved on to Randolph Field in San Antonio, where the personnel received medical examinations and admission tests in weapons and flight proficiency. They received three months of training at Randolph, Foster Army Air Field in Victoria, Texas, and Pocatello Army Air Base. The pilots received extensive training in armament, communications and tactics. The squadron arrived at Majors Field in Greenville, Texas, on November 30th, 1944. Here, the pilots received advanced training in combat air tactics, formation flying and gunnery. The men were honored with graduation ceremonies on February 20th, 1945, and the squadron was presented with its battle flag.

This marked the first time Mexican troops were trained for overseas combat. In charge of the group was Colonel Antonio Cárdenas Rodríguez, and Captain First Class Radamés Gaxiola Andrade was named squadron commander. Before leaving for the Philippines, the men received further instructions and physical examinations in Camp Stoneman in Pittsburg, California, in March 1945. The men left for the Philippines on the troop ship S.S. Fairisle on March 27th, 1945. The squadron arrived in Manila on April 30th, 1945, and was assigned as part of the Fifth Air Force, attached to the U.S. 58th Fighter Group, based at Porac, Pampanga, in the Clark Field complex on the island of Luzon. Beginning in June 1945, the squadron initially flew missions with the 310th Fighter Squadron, often twice a day, using borrowed U.S. aircraft. It received 25 new P-47D-30-RA aircraft in July, marked with the insignia of both the USAAF and Mexican Air Force.

The squadron flew more than 90 combat missions, totaling more than 1,900 hours of flight time. It participated in the Allied effort to bomb Luzon and Formosa to push the Japanese out of those islands. During its fighting in the Philippines, five squadron pilots died (one was shot down, one crashed, and three ran out of fuel and died at sea); and three others died in accidents during training. Among the missions flown by the squadron were 53 ground support missions flown in support of the U.S. 25th Infantry Division together with the Philippine Commonwealth troops and recognized guerrilla units in the break-out into the Cagayan Valley on Luzon between June 4th and July 4th 1945; 37 training missions flown July 14-25th 1945 (including missions to ferry new aircraft from Biak Island, New Guinea); four fighter sweeps over Formosa on July 6-9th 1945; and a dive bombing mission against the port of Karenko, Formosa, on August 8th.

When the 201st deployed, no provision for replacement pilots had been made and the pilot losses incurred in the Philippines hampered its effectiveness. Mexican replacement pilots were rushed through familiarization training in the United States, and two more pilots died in flight accidents in Florida. When the 58th Fighter Group left the Philippines for Okinawa on July 10th, the Mexicans stayed behind. They flew their last combat mission as a full squadron on August 26th, escorting a convoy north of the Philippines. Not only did the pilots get into combat, but also the ground personnel encountered Japanese troops, having some fire-fights and capturing a number of enemy troops as well. The 201st Mexican Squadron was given credit for putting out of action about 30,000 Japanese troops and the destruction of enemy held-buildings, vehicles, tanks, anti-aircraft guns, machine guns emplacements and ammunition depots.

The work of the 201st was recognized by General Douglas MacArthur, Supreme Commander of Allied Forces in the Southwest Pacific Area. The 201st returned to Mexico City on November 18th, 1945. In a military parade in the Constitution Square the Fighter Squadron delivered the Mexican flag to President Manuel Ávila Camacho. The FAEM was disbanded after returning from the Philippines. The Escuadrón Aéreo de Pelea 201 is still an active duty squadron, flying the Pilatus PC-7 from Cozumel, Quintana Roo, and saw extensive counter-insurgency service during the 1994 uprising in Chiapas. The Mexico City Metro Line 8 station Metro Escuadrón 201 is named after the squadron, whilst it was also the subject of the Mexican film Escuadrón 201, directed by Jaime Salvador and released in 1945. In November 22, 2004, the squadron was awarded the Philippine Legion of Honor, with a rank of Legionnaire, by then president Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo.

[halfmarathonhistories]

Born to Run on the 4th of July

This tour is also available as an audio tour

I will always have an affinity for the United States of America. I suppose it is hard to explain why. I just quite like American things…

Steph and I travelled across America in 2013 and have been back a few times since. When we travelled we couch surfed which meant staying with strangers, all of whom were amongst the nicest people we ever met. For my 30th Birthday we went to Boston, where we got to see Salem on Halloween and saw the Chicago Bulls vs The Boston Celtics. Something I had wanted to do since I was a child. 

I am fascinated by America; how different it all is yet how it’s all connected. It’s extremely distressing to see what a hellscape it has become. Especially for all the good people who live there.  With this fascination in mind, I decided to look into Belfast’s historical connections to the US and how I could link these together into a route to run on the 4th July. I have been able to orchestrate a route of just over 14km (1km for each of the original 13 colonies and 1 for Belfast) that encompasses American history from ancient times to the present day. Including links to American slaves, US Presidents, Civil Rights activists and just regular Americans. The full route is below:

Route map for July 4th by Jonny Murray on plotaroute.com

We begin at Belfast’s Thanks-Giving Square, home of the 2nd largest outdoor sculpture in Belfast, the ‘Beacon of Hope’, also known as ‘Nuala with the Hula’ and ‘The Angel of Thanksgiving’. Sculpted by artist Andy Scott based upon an idea by Myrtle Smyth who was inspired by the Thanks-Giving Square in Dallas, Texas. The purpose of the Thanks-Giving Square was to provide a public space in which to give thanks. Our Thanks-Giving Square is more secular than its sister square in Dallas. With a focus more on the universal concept of gratitude and hope through positivity and acceptance. The sculpture has become an important landmark for Belfast since its construction in 2007 and serves as a symbol for Belfast’s international connections. 

We then make our way towards the Waterfront Hall where the 44th President of the United States, Barack Obama addressed the Northern Irish people in June 2013. His speech echoed the sentiments of Thanks-Giving Square, calling for unity and peace in the city. Obama also called for the removal of the peace walls that divide the city, which we will get to a little later on the run.

We now turn right down Chichester Street which becomes Wellington Place and past the Belfast City Hall where the 42nd President of the United States, Bill Clinton addressed the people of Belfast while switching on the city’s Christmas lights in 1995. Much to the dismay of Belfast’s youngsters who were expecting the Power Rangers to have the honour of flicking the switch that year.

We now take a right at the Linen Hall Library, the oldest library in Belfast. Within the archives of the Linen Hall library is one of the oldest printed versions of the US Declaration of Independence which was published by the Belfast Newsletter in August 1776. This is not the only connection Northern Ireland has with the Declaration of Independence. John Dunlap was a native of Strabane in County Tyrone who moved to Philadelphia in 1757 at the age of 10 to work as an apprentice for his uncle who was a printer and bookseller. During the American Revolutionary war, Dunlap fought alongside George Washington and was awarded the contract of printing for the Continental Congress. After the Declaration of Independence had been signed, John Hancock ordered Dunlap to print 200 copies. These became known as the Dunlap Broadsheets and are the first published versions of the Declaration of Independence. The legend goes that a ship carrying the copy that was intended for King George III found itself in stormy waters and had to dock in Derry. This allowed the journalists of the Belfast Newsletter access to the document which led to The Belfast Newsletter being the first newspaper outside of America to publish a copy of the Declaration of Independence in full.

We now run down Fountain Street, right at Castle Street, left at Royal Avenue and onto Lower Garfield Street. Lower Garfield Street is named for the 20th President of the United States, James A. Garfield. Garfield was a veteran of the American Civil War, fighting for the Union Army. A strong abolitionist who had lobbied for strong punishments for those who fought on the side of the Confederacy. Garfield was seen as an American success story, having been born into extreme poverty but rising to the office of President through hard work and strong beliefs. During his presidency he had pushed for universal education to allow the newly freed slaves to have access to education that would ensure they would avail of equal rights. Garfield only served in office for 6 and a half months, as he was shot by Charles J. Guiteau in July 1881 and died from his injuries in September 1881.

We now leave Lower Garfield Street and take a right at North Street and then a left onto Warring Street. Warring Street, Donegall Street, North Street and Bridge Street make up what is known as ‘The 4 Corners’, this is one of the oldest parts of the city of Belfast. As it was a hive of United Irishmen activity during the Irish Rebellion of the 1790s it gave Belfast the nickname, ‘Boston of the North’ after the American city that became the birthplace of the American Revolution. Just off Warring Street is Sugarhouse Entry, where once stood the Benjamin Franklin Tavern, named for the American founding father who had visited Ireland and stayed at Hillsborough Castle before the American war of Independence. The United Irishmen would hold secret meetings in the Benjamin Franklin Tavern calling themselves The Muddler’s Club to avoid suspicion. A nearby restaurant is named in their honour and oil paintings of their meetings in the Benjamin Franklin Tavern can be seen at the entrance to the Premier Inn on Warring Street. 

At the top of Warring Street, we turn right down High Street and left at the Albert Clock onto Queen Street and Custom House Square. This was once the site of Chichester Quay, the home of the first US Consulate in Belfast. Belfast is the 2nd oldest running US Consulate in the world after Bordeaux, France. The first U.S Consul General in Belfast was James Holmes, who is commemorated by a blue plaque on the wall of McHugh’s bar. George Washington personally signed the papers that elected Holmes as the US Consul for Belfast on May 27th 1796. The current US Consulate is located in Danesfort House, off the Stranmillis Road. Danesfort House sits upon one of the oldest continually inhabited sites in Belfast, with artefacts dating back 5,000 years unearthed during its construction.

We now cross the road towards the Big Fish and join the Maritime Trail to run beside the river Lagan. We follow the path until we reach the CEA building, where we will turn left through the car park towards Princes Dock Street which will lead us to The American Bar. The American Bar has been located at its current premises since the 1860s. Although there is no consensus as to how the bar, formerly The American Inn, got its name there is belief that it was named for the many emigrants leaving Ireland for the New World. The bar was also one of the first sites American GI’s would see when they arrived in Belfast during World War 2, acting as both a farewell and a welcome to Irish Americans.

We now run past The American Bar and left onto Dock Street. We come to the corner of Dock Street and Garmoyle Street. Here, above the door of the Stella Maris Hostel for the Homeless, is a tile mural titled ‘At Sea’. It depicts one of the oldest connections Ireland has to America, the fabled crossing of the Atlantic by St. Brendan in 600AD. The story goes that while St. Brendan was in his late 80s, he built a ship and sailed it across the Atlantic Ocean in search of the Garden of Eden with a crew of between 80 – 150 men depending on which version of the story you’re told. Brendan recorded seeing pillars of ice rise out of the water, sheep the size of oxen and giants throwing balls of fire at them that smelt of sulphur. He also came across birds who would sing psalms, before finally landing on a country of lush green vegetation. After 7 years an angel advised Brendan and his crew to return home to Ireland. When they returned, they recounted their tale to everyone, and people would come from all over Ireland to hear Brendan’s tales of the new world. Historians began recording Brendan’s voyage and the island he described was included on maps. Christopher Columbus even used the legend as a basis on his journey to the Americas. While Brendan’s story may seem like fantasy, it has been interpreted to contain some elements of truth; the pillars of ice would have been ice bergs, the Faroe Islands are known to have large sheep and the singing birds and fireballs of sulphur could have come from Iceland’s volcanoes. As well as this, in 1976, adventurer Tim Severin recreated Brendan’s journey. By building a boat to the medieval specifications and setting off from the Dingle peninsula he successfully arrived in Newfoundland. So perhaps it is not a complete fantasy that an elderly Irish monk arrived on the shores of ancient America. 

We now continue down Dock Street, take a left at York Street and take a right past The City Side Centre to go down Henry Street, at the top of Henry Street we will take a left and cross the road towards the steps at North Queen Street. Head straight up these steps and follow the path round to Henry Place. This brings us past Clifton Street Graveyard, one of the oldest graveyards in the city and burial ground of the Irish Revolutionaries, Henry Joy and Mary Anne McCracken. Within this graveyard also lies William Brown, a black American who escaped slavery in America in the early 19th century and worked as a labourer in Belfast. The Clifton Street Cemetery records indicate that his wife and children remained as slaves in America at the time of his death in 1831.

We now head towards Clifton Street and then right towards Carlisle Circus and cross over towards Denmark Street. We will follow Denmark Street until we reach North Boundary Street. Here, turn right down Shankill Parade and then take a left down Boundary Way. At the end of this residential street is a community mural. Formerly a mural depicting the 7th President of the United States, Andrew Jackson, it now bears a quote from the President of the Louisiana Justice Institute, Tracie Washington (Not ‘Jackson’ as is depicted on the mural), “Stop calling me resilient,” “Because every time you say, ‘Oh, they’re resilient,’ that means you can do something else to me. I am not resilient.” Tracie Washington delivered this statement as a response to the New Orleans City Resilience Strategy in 2015 and their plans to tackle the continuing environmental crisis in Louisiana, which did not address the root cause of the issues. Her argument was succinctly summed up by Maria Kaika, Professor of Human Geography at the University of Manchester; “if we took Tracie Washington’s objection seriously, we would stop focusing on how to make citizens more resilient ‘no matter what stresses they encounter,’ as this would only mean that they can take more suffering, deprivation or environmental degradation in the future. If we took this statement seriously, we would need to focus instead on identifying the actors and processes that produce the need to build resilience in the first place. And we would try to change these factors instead.” This statement has been adopted by the people of the Shankill who feel the problems that face their community are not addressed due to a perceived resilience of the people. 

We then take a left to return to North Boundary Street and take a right onto Shankill Road. We follow the Shankill Road up to the corner of Lanark Way. We follow Lanark Way toward Cupar Way where we will take a left to run along the Belfast Peace Wall. On this wall we will see the message of President Bill Clinton, “Strength and wisdom are not opposing values”. 

Bill Clinton visited Belfast in 1995, becoming the first sitting US President to visit the province. He was greeted as a rock star with thousands of people lining the streets to get a glimpse of him. Below is a video of him visiting with Gerry Adams in a small office on the Falls Road. The Presidential cavalcade making its way down the Falls Road is a truly surreal sight.

We follow the Peace Wall down to the end of Cupar Way and take a left onto North Howard Street, a right onto North Howard Link and right at Northumberland Street. Here we come to the Solidarity Wall and the mural depicting the freed slave and American abolitionist, Frederick Douglass. Douglass visited Belfast many times during his life to speak to the city at the invitation of the United Irishmen. He would use Belfast as an example of a Western city where racism was not as prevalent as it was in America and would speak to large crowds in the city and received a warm welcome. A handwritten copy of a speech he delivered in Belfast is available to view on the Library of Congress website. The rest of the mural depicts individuals involved in the American Civil Rights movement, including Rosa Parks and Martin Luther King Jr. It is interspersed with figures of international civil rights such as Nelson Mandela and Mary Anne McCracken. As well as a quote from Abraham Lincoln, the 16th President of the United States. Douglass’s placement in the centre of the mural illustrates how the struggles for civil rights began with the abolition of the slave trade. He is also facing the Peace Wall, a reminder that unity and civil liberties have still not been achieved. 

We follow the Solidarity Wall left onto Divis Street. Here we see the most recent addition to the wall, a Black Lives Matter mural, depicting the murder of George Floyd by police in Minnesota. This murder sparked international protests during the pandemic of 2020 and has led to calls for sweeping changes to American policing and self-reflection about race relations in America and across the world.

We continue on Divis Street before turning right onto Ardmoulin Street, left toward Clonfaddin Street and right onto Cullingtree Road, we will then cross over the pedestrian bridge toward Durham Street. We take a right on Durham Street, a left on College Square North and then a right onto College Avenue. We will follow this road as it becomes Great Victoria Street and we pass the Grand Opera House. The Grand Opera played host to General Dwight D. Eisenhower, the 34th President of the United States, although at the time he was in Belfast as a General during World War 2. He was in attendance at the Grand Opera House in 1944 during a production of Irvine Berlin’s ‘This Is The Army’ performed by the US Army. Eisenhower was also presented with the Freedom of the City of Belfast later that year. 

We now follow Great Victoria Street towards Bradbury Place and on to University Road towards Queen’s University Belfast where former US Secretary of State and Presidential nominee, Hilary Clinton was made Chancellor in January 2020. 

We then take a left into Botanic Gardens. Now this a somewhat tenuous link to the United States, but bear with me… Charles Blondin was a French tight-rope walker who found his greatest fame in America when he walked across the Niagara Falls on a tight rope, 1,100ft long, 3.25inches in diameter and 160ft above the water. He would walk back and forth across the rope, each time performing a different stunt such as pushing a wheelbarrow before him and even stopping midway to cook and eat an omelette. Abraham Lincoln compared himself to Blondin during the 1864 Presidential election claiming he was like ‘"Blondin on the tightrope, with all that was valuable to America in the wheelbarrow he was pushing before him’.

Blondin lived in America for most of his life but toured Britain and Ireland extensively. While in Dublin in 1860, a rope broke during his performance which led to the collapse of the scaffolding that was holding the rope in place. This led to the death of 2 workers who were on the scaffolding at the time. Due to this incident, Blondin began using rope made at the Belfast Rope Works and did so for the rest of his career. He performed in Botanic Gardens many times throughout his career, the first time being in 1861. He even had his last ever professional performance in Belfast’s Botanic Gardens in 1896. Where he walked across a tight-rope at age 72 while blind in one eye. 

We now leave Botanic Gardens and onto Stranmillis Embankment and over King’s Bridge. King’s Bridge suffered structural damage during World War 2 caused by heavy American Military Vehicles crossing over it. After the bridge we turn left and run down Annadale Embankment towards Ormeau Park. American GI’s were stationed in Ormeau Park during World War 2. It acted as a camp and training ground for the American military.  We then head up the Ormeau Road with the park to our left, as we take a left down Park Road, down Ravenhill Park and finishing at the corner of Ravenhill Park and Onslow Parade, the site of Kingspan Stadium, formerly Ravenhill Stadium. Here is where the first games of American Football and Baseball were played in Ireland. On 14th November 1942, American soldiers played the first game of American football to a crowd of over 10,000 people. They competed under the team names ‘Yarvard’ and ‘Hale’ with the American Col. Maurice J Meyer introducing the game and providing running commentary for those in attendance. Hale won the game 9-7 with a field goal sealing the points. 

The first baseball game took place in April 1942 between US 2nd Battalion and 3rd Battalion in front of a crowd of 1,000 people. Major General Russel P Hartle, Acting Commander of the US Army in Northern Ireland threw out the first pitch. Like the football game, running commentary was provided over loud speakers for the audience. 3rd Batallion emerged victorious with Corporal Leo J Robinson becoming the first serviceman to hit a home run in Europe during World War 2.

And so we have come to the end of our 4th July run. Hopefully you aren’t too tired, though it’s understandable as you have just run the length of American history. When researching the connections America has with Belfast, I found it interesting that America is somewhat of a unifying force in such a divided city. All parts of the city enjoy some notable connection the US. It can even bring politicians together, with Sammy Wilson sitting beside Gerry Adams during Barack Obama’s speech. This is ironic, because America itself is so divided, arguably it’s broken. As has even been illustrated on the walls of Belfast with the highlighting of racial and social inequalities that continue to exist in America. Inequalities that have been magnified during the current pandemic. With that in mind, I would urge everyone to educate themselves on these issues and find ways for you to make little changes that can contribute to addressing and solving these issues. As has been seen from this run, our countries have an impact on each other so let’s make the impact positive.

After the run, I recommend putting your feet up and watching Hamilton on Disney+. Probably the best way to spend your 4th July.

Sources: https://wartimeni.com/,https://extramuralactivity.com/, Weird Belfast by Reggie Chamberlain-King, Wikipedia, https://www.inyourpocket.com/belfast, https://edgeeffects.net/stop-calling-me-resilient/, BBC, https://www.culturenorthernireland.org/

[pavementlicker98]

@twistedvirgorivaliant

 its funny because the only people I see Doing the head bashing are gangs of Antifa members.

do you read the news dude

January 20, 2017: A right-wing extremist shoots a protestor at a Milo Yiannopoulos event at the University of Washington. January 29, 2017: Alexandre Bissonnette walks into a mosque in Canada during evening prayers and opens fire, shooting 17 people and killing six of them.

January 2017: Over 40 Jewish centers in the U.S. receive bomb threats. February 22, 2017:  Adam Purinton tells two men from India to “get out of my country” then shoots both plus a bystander, killing one. February 28, 2017: a mosque in Toronto is set on fire by arsonists. March 12, 2017: a mosque in Ypsilanti, MI. is set on fire by arsonists. March 20, 2017: James Jackson arrives in Manhattan with a sword and stabs the first black man he sees to death.  He later tells authorities he “intended to kill as many black men as he could.” March 24, 2017: Yelling “I hate Muslims!” a man in Minneapolis stabbed a Somali man in an attempt to kill him.   March 26, 2017: A racist mob attacks a 15-year-old Polish boy in Gloucestershire and, when a local Asian shopkeeper tries to intervene, attack him as well with crowbars and baseball bats, then attempt to run him over with a car. March 31, 2017: A 17-year-old Iranian/Kurdish boy is nearly beaten to death by a mob of eight people in Croydon after he revealed to them that he was a refugee. April 6, 2017: A Charlotte store is set on fire by an arsonist who leaves a warning message for the shop owner that he “did not want any refugee business owners and that they would torture the owner if they did not leave and go back to where they came from,” according to police.  It was signed “White America.” MAY 5TH: EDITED TO INCLUDE:

April 30, 2017: A  white man storms a pool party in San Diego and shoots four black women, two black men, and one Latino man while allowing white attendees to leave.  One victim dies while the other six sustain critical injuries.

MAY 10TH: EDITED TO INCLUDE: May 5, 2017: A man walking his dog on South Beach in Miami is confronted by two men who call him a “fucking faggot,” then attack him, beating him unconscious.  At one point in the attack, one of the attackers shouts  “all faggots need to die and we’re going to make sure they do!” MAY 18TH: EDITED TO INCLUDE: May 14, 2017: Vandals spray-paint hate graffiti on the home of a black family in upstate New York before attempting to set the house on fire while the family slept.  Although the family escaped unscathed, their garage burnt to the ground and their house suffered some damage. May 17, 2017: A homophobic mob break into the home of a gay couple and shoot and stab both men to death.   MAY 23RD: EDITED TO INCLUDE: May 20, 2017: University of Maryland student and member of the “alt-Reich” facebook group Sean Urbanski walks up to 22-year-old Richard Collins III, who is black and who Urbanski does not know, and stabs him to death in an unprovoked attack. May 27th: EDITED TO INCLUDE: May 24, 2017: A barrage of doxxing, rape threats, and death threats received by trans comic book artist Sophie Labelle forces her to cancel an appearance and event at a Halifax book store, which also received bomb threats and threats of attacking the event.  Labelle is forced into hiding. May 26, 2017: Three men intervene on a MAX train in Portland when they witness another man verbally abusing two Muslim women with an Islamophobic tirade.  The Islamophobe responds by pulling out a knife and stabs the three interveners, killing two of them.  

MAY 30th: EDITED TO INCLUDE:

May 27, 2017: A white man drives his pickup truck through a campsite, targeting the Native Americans camping there while yelling racial slurs at them.  He intentionally drives over two Native American men, killing one and injuring the other. June 3rd: EDITED TO INCLUDE:

March 3, 2017: A Sikh man is shot and injured in front of his Seattle house by a white man waring a mask, who yells at him to “go back to your country!” May 27, 2017: A 34-year-old Anthony Hammond lets loose with a flurry of racial slurs directed at a black man in a parking lot, then pulls out a machete and stabs the man before barricading himself in his apartment for several hours, until finally surrendering to police.

JUNE 13th: EDITED TO INCLUDE: January 1, 2017: 19-year-old Nathan Richardson encounters 67-year-old jogger Wenqing Xu and beats him to death in an unprovoked, random attack.  After committing the murder, Richardson texted his friends that he “fucked sum chink up. Bodied him. I think pure crime scene – his head’s gone,” JUNE 19TH: EDITED TO INCLUDE: June 18, 2017: two men armed with baseball bats attack a group of Muslim teenagers, kidnapping a 17-year-old girl, who they beat to death, dumping her body in a pond.

June 1, 2017: A Princeton professor and racialized woman is forced to cancel a three-city lecture tour to promote her book about the Black Lives Matter movement after receiving over 50 death threats. June 19, 2017: Shouting “I’m going to kill all Muslims!” 47-year-old Darren Osborne drives a courier van through a crowd of Muslims leaving a Finsbury mosque, killing one person and injuring ten others.

JULY 4TH: EDITED TO INCLUDE: January 28, 2017: a First Nations woman walking with her sister is struck by a trailer hitch hurled from a passing vehicle.  After struggling in hospital for several months, she succumbs to her injuries.   June 21, 2017:  an Islamophobe approaches a Muslim man and woman sitting in a car stopped at a traffic light and knocks on the window.  When the driver rolls down the window, the Islamophobe sprays the driver and passenger with acid, severely burning both.   JULY 16TH: EDITED TO INCLUDE: February 21, 2017: a 24-year-old transgender woman is shot and killed in Chicago, IL. February 26, 2017: a transgender woman is shot and killed in New Orleans, LA. March 1, 2017: a transgender woman is stabbed to death in New Orleans, LA. March 22, 2017: a 38-year-old transgender woman is shot and killed in Baltimore, MD. April 21, 2017: a 28-year-old transgender woman is shot and killed in Miami, FL. May 17, 2017: a 34-year-old transgender woman is shot and killed in Fresno, CA. July 2, 2017:  a 28-year-old transgender woman is shot and killed in Lynchburg, VA. JULY 25TH: EDITED TO INCLUDE:

June 3, 2017: 38-year-old white supremacist Phillip Wade racially abuses a 57-year-old black man on an Oakley, CA. bus, then pulls a knife and stabs the man to death while the man is walking away from the confrontation.  The victim is the third racialized person Wade has stabbed in the past six years and the second person he’s murdered.   July 16, 2017: A man attempts to pull the hijab off of a Muslim woman waiting for the tube in London, then hits her when she resists.  He then pins her friend to the wall and spits in her face before leaving.   July 16, 2017: Arsonists set a mosque in Manchester ablaze. July 18, 2017: A NASA researcher of South Asian descent has her car windshield shattered by a rock thrown through it by an assailant screaming “go back to your country!”  She’s injured in the attack. AUGUST 2ND: EDITED TO INCLUDE: July 19, 2017: Two men exit a car and attack a racialized pedestrian with their fists and an iron bar.   AUGUST 7TH: EDITED TO INCLUDE: August 5, 2017: A mosque in Bloomington, Minnesota is firebombed, narrowly missing killing & injuring dozens of members there for morning prayers. AUGUST 10TH: EDITED TO INCLUDE: August 8, 2017: A well-known Chicago neo-nazi starts an altercation at a concert, then pulls out a smuggled knife and stabs a man and a woman at the show. AUGUST 12TH: EDITED TO INCLUDE: August 12, 2017:  A white supremacist in Charlottesville, VA. drives his car at high speed directly into a crowd of anti-racist protestors, killing one woman and seriously injured 19 other people. AUGUST 12TH: EDITED TO INCLUDE: January 25, 2017: An arsonist destroys the only mosque in Victoria, Texas.

AUGUST 16TH: EDITED TO INCLUDE:

August 12, 2017: A self-identifed member of the white supremacist “three percenter” movement is arrested by the FBI after unsuccessfuly trying  to blow up a bank in Oklahoma City with a car bombed modeled after the one used by Timothy McVeigh. AUGUST 21ST: EDITED TO INCLUDE: May 25, 2017: A black woman riding the train home is subjected to extreme verbal harassment by Jeremy Christian, who admits to being a neo-nazi and tell her he will kill her.  As she leaves the train, Christian hits her with a bottle, cutting her eye open.  When police arrive, they refuse to arrest Christian.  The next day Christian would stab three people, killing two of them.

August 20, 2017: A racialized man standing outside his own home is attacked by a motorist who, without any provocation, jumped out of his car and ran at him, shouting racial slurs, before physically assaulting him.  The victim is seriously injured in the attack.

In case you have trouble counting, Anon, that’s three four five six seven eightnine ten eleven twelve shootings, three four five six seven arsons, two threefour seven eight nine ten eleven stabbings, two three four five mob beatings, over 40 41 bomb threats, one failed bombing, an acid attack, and several other miscellaneous assaults by bigots, Islamophobes, nazis and racists so far this year. Eight Nine Eleven Twelve Fourteen Fifteen Sixteen Seventeen Eighteen Nineteen Twentytwenty-one twenty-two twenty-three twenty-four twenty-five twenty-six Twenty-seven Twenty-Eight people are dead because of these bigoted attacks and fifteen twenty-one twenty-two twenty-three twenty-five thirty-five thirty-seven thirty-nine fifty-eight fifty-nine were severely injured.  

Not to mention Timothy McVeigh, who killed over 150 people in my home city in a right-wing attack in response to Waco.

And, you know, the fucking Holocaust and shit.  That’s kinda head-bashing.  A bit.

[muertita-catrina]

The Real Legend of La Muerte | Self-Para

When: August 27th, 2017, (between 3-5am) 

Where: A hidden pond

Notes: After being awakened by an ancestor, Catrina learns about her real origins. 

Warnings: GROUND BREAKING SHIT (Suicide, Murder.) 

“Catrina, you’ve lived many lives. Quite literally. It was a curse bestowed upon you as the death goddess. As a consequence, you only have one way to break the curse: die and reclaim your immortality.”

Life one: Mictēcacihuātl (Tenochtitlan,1450) 

Sacrificed as a baby, Mictecacihuatl rose to power as queen of the underworld alongside her husband. Many have depicted her as an ugly, fleshless being with an agape jaw, but she proved to be otherwise. Instead, she was a beautiful woman of raven hair, blood red lips, and golden brown skin. She was the envy of the Aztec women and a desire to their men. Many were enamored by her charm and her kindness. While her king proved to be a more stern leader, she was kind and believed in fun and joy. Thus, creating on what would later be called, Dia De Los Muertos, she planned lavish and festive parties with cempasuchil adorning the bones of fallen warriors and children. Many people loved her annual festivals and decided to pass down the tradition for their descendants to enjoy as well. 

However, her life came to a startling end when a jealous Aztec woman worked with the goddess, Tlazolteotl and had a special blade made for Mictecacihuatl. The woman concocted her favorite cacao drink with a hint of cinnamon and the naive queen took the drink happily and fell asleep. The woman then dragged her into a sacred temple where she and Tlazolteotl sacrificed her on the very steps of the king of the underworld’s temple. By the time he arrived, it had been far too late and his queen laid dead, impaled with the blade with a serene smile on her face. He knew that she had dreamt of happiness and joy among the world and this broke his heart further. Alongside Quetzalcoatl, they created a spell for Mictecacihuatl to live out her dream again, but with a price: she would have to repeat this over and over again until she died and reclaimed her immortality. 

Life Two: A Persian Princess (Lebanon, 1650) 

Not much was known of her, except for the fact that she was the youngest of an unknown Persian King. She was incredibly bright and a pioneer for her age, making her stand out of the rest of her sisters, much to her dismay as she was also the shiest of the 12 girls. Nonetheless, with her nose in the books and her feet firmly planted on the ground, she grew up to be a very powerful young woman. She, alongside her eldest sister helped their father lead powerful crusades to strengthen the Persian Empire. 

She had the opportunity to travel abroad with her oldest sister that she adored and admired dearly and learned the ways of trade and business and so, this was something she wanted to become. That was, until, her 16th birthday she was betrothed to a neighboring prince and the young princess did not want to be married off. In fact, she rebelled so much, her father locked her away and deemed her as insane and slowly...she began to believe that. Heartbroken, she wrote a goodbye letter to her eldest sister and continued her journaling her travels and findings from the past until the day of an eclipse where she threw herself from her tower and died upon impact. 

Life Three: Maria Fernanda Sanchez De La Fuente (San Angel, 1850)

Maria Fernanda Sanchez was known as an incredibly fierce woman for her age and perhaps one of Mexico’s first feminists. She had quite the mouth on her, speaking up against the injustices made against women. Many have tried to silence her but she was relentless and powerful in her walk and talk. Her secret, however, was that her family, aside being famous toreros of San Angel, Mexico, were hunters of the supernatural and Maria, was the first woman to do so in her family. 

Of course, on her first expedition to Texas, Maria Fernanda met a man by the name of Samuel Colt and together created a blade to destroy the demon Abaddon who had wreaked havoc and practically decimated Colt’s little town in Texas. In the process, however, Maria fell hopelessly in love for Samuel Colt but in the end, it wasn’t meant to be, which pained her so. He was her first love. A love at only 17 years old and he was someone she truly vowed to never forget. Three years later, she married a man who respected her values, her goals, dreams, and aspirations and gave birth to a new generation of toreros and hunters alike. She laid the foundation for magic to be embraced and she died peacefully in her sleep. 

Life Four (present): Catrina Ximena De La Fuente Hayek (Santa Monica, 2017) 

Catrina De La Fuente was a young woman driven by ambition and a drive to change the world. She was the light of her parents’ lives after nearly losing the girl when Yasmin went through an excruciating and terrifying labor. She was their miracle baby and their warrior. At a young age, she always found an interest in law. She was often seen sitting on the laps of either her father, Mayor Vicente De La Fuente Sanchez or her mother, Ambassador Yasmin Hayek De La Fuente. Through this, she learned so much from seeing the adults talk in hushed whispers or in loud voices. She admired those who spoke up against injustice, like her parents and this merely inspired her to do the same.

Sure, she fell in love and was engaged young to an heir named Xavier Balboa and yes, she was heartbroken, but she rose above that and focused incredibly on her studies. But soon, love came around again and now she was engaged to be married to none other than Samuel Colt’s descendant, James Ryan. It was almost as if her third life, came in full circle. 

“Catrina?” The ghostly man in front of her waved his hand softly in front of her glowing gold eyes as she let go of the stone. 

“Hm?” She asked.

“Are you alright?” He asked. She nodded slowly.

“Si, Tio. I’m okay, I just have to ask. Is there a way to reverse the spell?” She asked with a furrowed brow. 

“You would have to visit the temple of where you died in your first life. And then you’d have to summon your murderers and kill them yourself. You kill them,” he added and smirked hopefully. 

“I become a goddess or I live and die?” Catrina asked with an inquisitive look. 

“You live and die. Then when your soul passes on, you will return to the spirit world and reclaim yourself as queen and goddess of the dead and you stay in the spirit world for all of eternity...you know except for your favorite holiday,” He nodded with an encouraging smile.

“Then after I marry, I’ll go on this quest,” She nodded with a confident look on her features. For a moment, the water of the pond rippled in front of her and underneath the soft glow of the light overhead and Cat’s reflection in the water changed to the goddess she had always been, in her very first life. 

[racingtoaredlight]

On This Day...

On this day in 1966, at 11:25 a.m. 25-year old student Charles Whitman entered the Main Building, or “Tower” as it is more commonly referred to, on the campus of the University of Texas, took an elevator to the 28th floor, stepped out onto the observation deck, and at 11:48 a.m. began randomly shooting an assortment of hunting rifles at people below. For the next 96 minutes, Whitman fired at anything that moved, eventually killing 14*--including an unborn baby--and wounding 31 others. Eventually a small group of police officers assisted by the manager of a nearby store made their way into the tower and up to the 28th floor where they shot and killed Whitman.

Charles Whitman graduated high school in June 1959 and enlisted in the U.S. Marine Corps one month later. Whitman had an excellent record as a marine and he demonstrated exceptional marksmanship on the rifle range where he qualified as a sharpshooter. In 1960, Whitman applied for a Navy-Marine Corps scholarship program that would allow him to attend college and earn an degree so that he could become commissioned as an officer. Whitman enrolled in the University of Texas in September 1961 and majored in mechanical engineering. Whitman’s grades were poor, however, and he wasted much of his time gambling and hunting. In 1962, Whitman met and married Kathleen Leissner, en education major. During 1962 and 1963, Whitman’s grades only marginally improved and the Marine Corps terminated his scholarship and ordered him back to active duty at Camp Lejeune, North Carolina. Whitman’s previously sterling record, however, was marred by his continued gambling and for threatening another marine over an unpaid loan for which Whitman demanded a usurious interest rate. Convicted at a court martial in November 1963, Whitman was sentenced to 30 days in the brig, 90 days of hard labor, and was demoted from lance corporal to private. Despite this, Whitman was honorably discharged from the Marine Corps in December 1964. He returned to Austin where he re-enrolled in the University of Texas, this time in an architectural engineering program.

In May 1966, Whitman helped his mother move from his hometown in Florida to Austin after she filed for divorce from Whitman’s father, citing years of violent domestic abuse. By this time, Whitman was complaining of regular, intense headaches which caused him immense pain. Unable to determine the cause, he coped with them by taking Excedrin, Dexedrine, and amphetamines. Added to this was the stress of fending off his father, who called continuously from Florida, trying to convince Whitman to bring his mother home. Whitman refused. Feeling that something was wrong with himself, but completely unable to pinpoint it or apparently do anything about it, Whitman’s mood grew increasingly despondent and morose over the summer of 1966.

Sometime after midnight on the morning of August 1, Whitman drove to his mother’s apartment, let himself in, and killed her while she slept. He then drove back to his apartment and stabbed his wife Kathy while she slept, killing her immediately. Whitman left notes at both locations trying to explain his actions, saying that he loved his mother and wife and killed them in order to shield them from pain, embarrassment, humiliation. He left a suicide note at this apartment in which he, among other things, requested that an autopsy be performed on his body after he died. Whitman’s mother and wife were his first two victims.

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Whitman spent the rest of the morning driving to various hardware stores, retailers, and gun shops, purchasing guns and ammunition. At his apartment, he packed a footlocker that included three rifles, a shotgun, ammunition, several knives, earplugs, toiletries, coffee, vitamins, and painkillers. Whitman then drove to campus and parked, using a falsified research assistant’s parking pass. He entered the ground floor of the Tower and found a university employee to turn on the elevator for him. Whitman exited the elevator in the 27th floor, lugged his footlocker up a flight of stairs and walked into the reception area of the 28th floor observation deck. Whitman pulled out a rifle and attacked the receptionist, Edna Townsley, striking her multiple times with the butt of his rifle, fracturing her skull. Shortly afterward, the Gabour family, visiting a student-relative on campus, walked into the reception area. Whitman attacked them with his shotgun, wounding or killing four of them. Whitman then pulled his footlocker out onto the observation deck, shouldered one of his rifles, and began firing.

Over the next hour and a half, Whitman moved along the observation deck, shooting at anything that moved. Whitman shot at people on campus and at students and retailers on the The Drag, a section of Guadalupe Street that forms the western border of the campus. Students were shot as they went about their business, then other students, university employees, and nearby business owners were shot as they attempted to aid those who had been hit. Police officer Billy Paul Speed, one of the first to arrive on campus, was hit by Whitman as he stood behind a wall with the bullet passing through a six inch gap in the masonry. At least two people were hit at a range of over 500 yards after they moved from their shelter, thinking they were out of range.

Mass shootings on university campuses were not widely contemplated in 1966 and both the university and the city of Austin struggled to respond. A nearby funeral home was pressed into service, using its ambulance and hearses to hastily collect and take the wounded to nearby hospitals. An armored truck in the neighborhood was also pressed into service to evacuate the injured. Whitman shot at these vehicles and the drivers and anyone who attempted to move his victims to safety.

Around noon, three police officers were joined by Allen Crum, a 40-yeard old Air Force veteran who owned a store on the Drag, outside the Tower. Armed with a rifle, a shotgun, and their sidearms, the group entered the Tower and slowly made their way up the flights of stairs. Encountering the wounded members of the Gabour family, one of them motioned to the observation deck doorway, indicating Whitman’s location. The officers and Crum quietly approached the doorway and then bolted onto the observation deck, catching Whitman by surprise. They opened fire on Whitman who was hit immediately and fell to the ground. One officer then approached Whitman and shot at point blank range to ensure he was dead. It was 1:24 p.m.

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In accordance with the request Whitman made in his suicide note, an autopsy was performed on August 2. The examination led to the discovery of a small, pecan-sized tumor in Whitman’s brain. Though the neuropathologist who conducted the exam concluded that it had no effect on Whitman’s actions, subsequent investigation, including by a government commission assembled to investigate the massacre, found that Whitman had visited numerous university doctors in the months leading up to the shooting. They had each prescribed various medications to Whitman and one recommended he meet with a psychiatrist. The Connally Commission ultimately concluded that the tumor did in fact affect Whitman’s actions, suggesting that it may have pressed against his amygdala, a part of the brain which controls anxiety and fight-or-flight actions.

August 1, 1966, was one of the deadliest days in state history and Whitman remains of the most prolific spree killers ever. The Tower’s observation deck remained closed until 1968. It was closed again in 1975 after the deck became a spot for suicides, with nine people jumping to their death. The deck was finally reopened in 1999 after safety and security barriers were installed.

*David Hubert Gunby was badly wounded and ultimately died in 2001 due to complications of the injuries he suffered that day in 1966. His death was ruled a homicide and thus he became the 15th fatality 35 years later.

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[flaglerphotographymw-blog]

Lynn Saville

Lynn Saville is a night time photographer based in New York. She went to Duke  University and Pratt Institute. She currently lives in New York with her poet husband, Philip Fried. Saville’s fascination with light began as a child when she was travelling to Italy by boat with her parents. She walks around whatever town she’s in to find places she wants to photograph during sunset or sunrise. These places tend to be vacant shops or other urban areas. Photographing during those times can be tough seeing how artificial lighting didn’t always cooperate.

I chose this artist because I’m drawn to landscapes and city-scapes. Nighttime is also one of my favorite time of the day, due to the stars, moon and artificial lights.

Lynn saville won the MTA Arts for Transit Commission to Document "Grand Central Revealed" in 2017, the New York State Council for the Arts Grant in 1999, the  New York Foundation for the Arts Photography Fellowship in 1989, and the Premio Award in 1998.

Ferris Wheel from the Tuileries - Paris, France                1997

St. Mark’s Square from the Arcade - Venice, Italy        1997

Columbus Circle - New York, New York

Wall Street - New York, New York

Pepsi - Long Island City, New York

Jack’s - Columbus, Ohio

String of Lights - Harlem, New York

Gowanus Canal - Brooklyn, New York

Central Park Path - New York, New York

Basin Streen - Brooklyn, New York

SELECTED SOLO EXHIBITIONS:

2017Grand Central Terminal, MTA Arts for Transit Lightbox Exhibition, NYC "Grand Central Revealed" opens in Spring 2017 and continues for approximately 3 years

Griffin Museum's Atelier Gallery at Stoneham Theatre, Boston, MA "Dark City" Feb 7 - Apr 9th, 2017 Opening and artists talk March 21st & Workshop March 22nd

2016Galerie Baudoin Lebon, Paris, France, "Dark City" September 14 - October 30th, 2016

Florida Museum of Photographic Arts, Tampa, FL, October - December

Montgomery Museum of Art, Montgomery, AL, "Dark City: Urban America at Night", July 14th - September 25 curated by Michael Panhorst

Gallery Kayafas, Boston, MA, "NEW YORK PHOTOGRAPHS", January 22 - February 27th with a book signing February 5th.

2015Pratt Institute, Brooklyn, NY, "Dark City, A retrospective Photographic Exhibition", August - October curated by Stephen Hilger

Schneider Gallery, Chicago, IL "Dark City", October - December, curated by Martha Schneider

Florida School of the Arts, Palatka, FL, "Dark City", August - October

2014The University of Maine Museum of Art, Bangor, Maine

Schneider Gallery, Chicago, January - March 2014

2013Gallery Kayafas, Boston, "Vacancy", Feb 22 - March 30, 2013

2011Schneider Gallery, Chicago, "Solo Exhibition", January 7 - March 1

2010Zoe Bingham Fine Art, London, "Night/Shift", December 2010

2009Yancey Richardson Gallery, New York, NY, "Night/Shift", July

Kayafas Gallery, Boston, MA, "Night/Shift", July

2008Stephen A. Austin State University, TX, "Night/Shift".

Montgomery Museum of Art, Alabama, "Night/Shift".

Hodges Taylor Gallery, Charlotte, NC

2007Mint Museum of Art, Charlotte, NC, "Lynn Saville: Night Vision", Feb - July

Pensacola Art Museum Pensacola Florida, July - October

Hiram College, Hiram, OH, Nov - December

2006

New York City MTA, Arts for Transit (Public Installation), "42nd Street Nocturne", - 7 Large Light boxes in 42nd Street Bryant Park subway station.

Duke University, President's Gallery, "Lynn Saville: The Color of Night"

2005Duke University, "

Night Vision: Photographs of William Gedney & Lynn Saville

"Kathleen Ewing Gallery, Washington, D.C., "Paris: Night's Edge"

2004The Photographers' Gallery, London

2003Yancey Richardson Gallery, New York City

2002Brooklyn Public Library, New York

2001Hiram College, Frohring Art Center, Hiram, Ohio

2000Galerie Baudoin Lebon, Paris

1999The Photographers' Gallery, London

Federazione International Artistici Fotografia, Turin, Italy

1998Gente di Fotografia, Palermo, Italy

1997Yancey Richardson Gallery, New York

Jackson Fine Art Gallery, Atlanta, Georgia

John Cleary Gallery, Houston, Texas

1996New York University, Tisch School of the Arts, New York

1995Columbia University School of Architecture

University of California, Berkeley, CA

1994Moore College of Art, Philadelphia, PA

Photonica Gallery, New York

1993Photo-four Gallery, South Suburban College, Chicago

1992Mincher-Wilcox Gallery, San Francisco, CA

Marymount College, Tarrytown, NY

1990University of Texas at Dallas, Texas