#Tess/Joel Week 2024

[bumblepony]

Tess/Joel Week 2024 - Day One - Endings

Joel meets Tess at the end.

He meets her at the end of the world.

When everything is lost but his life and the brother who dragged him back from the grave.

He meets her when she’s trying to end it all.

Their story is one of endings.

So he’s not surprised when it ends, too.

IE: Tess and Joel at the end of it all.

[bradfordchens]

hey hi hello - i'm here to welcome you all to Tessjoel Week 2024! Spanning from 11/24 to 11/30, we have seven prompts for you to show your love for our favorite apocalypse couple. The prompts are as follows:

Day One - Endings Day Two - In Another Life Day Three - Care [Hurt/Comfort] Day Four - Promises or Worship/Devotion Day Five - Scars/Memories Day Six - QZ Day Seven - Free Day

Any and all art (excluding AI) is encouraged, as long as it follows the day's theme! If you have any questions please feel free to message me here, or on twitter at tessjoels if that's more comfortable for you. I'm happy to help! I hope this week is a fun little end of the year week for y'all :)

[seethesunny]

TESSJOEL WEEK 2024

Organized by my beloved @bradfordchens <3

Here you can find my entries using the prompts :)

Day 1: half return

Tess learns two new things from this.

First, that dying is relative.

Two, immunity is one hell of a drug.

1.-endings

[corazondebeskar-reads]

toni's fanfic masterlist

a collection of all of my fic, mostly ft. Din Djarin and Joel Miller

Key: 🏴 = dark, 💕 = fluff, ⛓ = bdsm, 💀 = dead dove do not eat

18+ ONLY, minors DNI. All fics on this list are explicit and f!reader unless otherwise stated.

also on ao3

dividers by @saradika-graphics

last updated: 10/25/2024

Din Djarin

Series

⛓💕 well it's love, make it hurt

(Complete, dom!Din Djarin x f!reader)

summary: After The Mandalorian begrudgingly teamed up with you for a big-ticket bounty, you find you work surprisingly well together, and you propose a short-term partnership. Weeks become months, and your hunting partnership becomes muddled as you explore a new dynamic onboard the Razor Crest.

🏴 live to rise

(complete; gladiator!Din Djarin x f!reader)

summary: The Last of the Mandalorians have fallen; their Mand'alor captured. Stripped of his armor, his weapons, his people. Din rises to fight another day, grasping onto the hope that his son still lives.

No fighter has won their freedom from the Empire's arena before. With the help of a servant girl, can he hope to break free?

One Shots

don't let me get carried away

summary: Mando finds the toy you use when he's gone and makes you demonstrate.

for Manda'yaim (Din Djarin x f!reader x Paz Vizsla)

summary: Now that they have reclaimed their homeworld, the Children of the Watch resurrect an ancient ritual to secure the future of their people. Reader is one of the volunteers chosen to bear the next generation of Mando'ade.

🏴💀 worry not

summary: Mand'alor Din Djarin is haunted by the Darksaber, and you suffer the consequences.

💕 mhi ba'juri verde

summary: After Din is crowned Mand'alor, you make good on your promise to fulfill the rest of your vows.

🏴 ori'skraan

summary: The Mand'alor needs to feed to regain his strength, so you are called upon to fulfill the most sacred of your duties.

🏴💀I'll take care of you

summary: Din takes care of you after a head injury leaves you helpless.

stuck in a lonely loop

summary: Din can't let go of the feeling that something's wrong, even if you deny it.

🏴nobody is coming to save you

summary: You get caught by a Mandalorian bounty hunter after fleeing your marriage.

something worse

summary: you're an imperial officer loyal to moff gideon — until a run in with the mandalorian and his weird magic baby.

Din Djarin x reader x Boba Fett

copaani gaan? (Din Djarin x f!reader x Boba Fett)

summary: Din catches you blushing after Boba Fett flirts with you. He instigates and encourages you to fuck Fett while he watches.

mhi me'dinui an and prequel (Din Djarin x f!reader x Boba Fett x Cobb Vanth)

summary: After the events of The Book of Boba Fett, you get railed by Din Djarin, Boba Fett, and Cobb Vanth.

Joel Miller

Series

🏴💀 all I did was what I had to (complete; dark!Joel x f!reader)

summary: this is a series of snapshots following dark!raider/hunter!Joel Miller and f!reader, who he saves from her abusive spouse for a slightly better situation. It's very dark and so far all the parts involve watersports, if that's your kind of thing.

you know you never stood a chance (complete; qz!Joel x f!reader)

summary: When your neighbor Joel finds out you've resorted to prostitution to make ends meet, he makes sure he's your first client, and proposes a different deal.

ain't no rest for the wicked (complete; tess x f!reader x joel)

summary: Joel would never complain about what he and Tess have. The only thing is that, sometimes, he’d like to be the one in control. Tess has a proposition: she’ll find a sub for Joel that they can both enjoy. It’s not an easy feat... until they stumble upon you in a dark alley. 

🏴💀 the art of breaking (mini-series)

summary: Your meeting is happenstance, but everything that follows? Well, that’s all Joel. He just knows you’re going to be his perfect little toy. He just has to show you how.

🏴of rage and ruin (ongoing; werewolf!alpha!Joel Miller x f!omega!reader)

summary: Joel Miller made it twelve years into the apocalypse without getting bit. He turns into a much different kind of monster than he expected, though.

fall, with you (mini-series)

summary: to love fall. to fall in love. to fall, with you. a burgeoning romance with joel miller. a collection of autumns long past. the end of the world. falling, falling, falling, with you.

One Shots

🏴💀 the devil you don't know (or however it goes)

summary: When Joel's men bring back the (adult) daughter of a rival group of hunters, he sees an opportunity. This is VERY dark.

-- the aftermath (by demand; my thoughts on the possible endings. i stand by the original though.)

💕 a home amongst the stars

summary: Joel gets home after a late patrol and finds solace in your warm body.

💕 to know that you're mine

summary: Joel Miller is a pussy eating king with a praise kink. That's it, that's the fic. sub!Joel if you squint.

remember what you're staring at is me

summary: A videotape is left on your porch one morning, and it changes everything about your budding relationship with Joel Miller.

drabbles/ficlets

🏴💀 too much

summary: you never know when to shut up.

🏴 not enough

summary: a companion to "too much;" it's rough sex and choking with Joel. that's it, that's the fic.

🏴💀no one could save me but you

summary: You're under the care of Dr. Miller at an inpatient mental health facility. He has a vested interest in your "recovery."

🏴💀seasons don't

summary: Your husband dies a hero, but it's no comfort to you.

🏴💀no loyalty in the apocalypse

summary: Your group falls victim to Joel Miller's hunters.

🏴💀better run

summary: You should have never tried to run from Joel.

💕 let's all go to the lobby

summary: a date night with joel miller

💕 could be

summary: jackson is not your home. joel miller is not your boyfriend. but they could be.

💀 get some on my love

summary: you visit Joel Miller to get what you need.

Honorable Mentions: Events

(most of these are in the other sections but if you want to read through in order, there's this.)

Kinktober 2023

Febuwhump 2024

[kiss-me-muchoo]

𝐅𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐲 || 𝐉𝐨𝐞𝐥 𝐌𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐫 𝐱 𝐅𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲_𝐭𝐰𝐨 𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐤𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐉𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐢𝐭 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮. 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐉𝐨𝐞𝐥 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧��� 𝐡𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐰𝐧’s 𝐦𝐢𝐝𝐰𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐄𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐥. 𝐀𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐝-𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲𝐉𝐨𝐞𝐥 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐄𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐫𝐠𝐮𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭, 𝐉𝐨𝐞𝐥 𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐠𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐭.

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬_ 𝟏/𝟐 𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐞 𝐉𝐨𝐞𝐥 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐄𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐞 (𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐯𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐬), 𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞, 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐠𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐲, 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭, 𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐚, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐝-𝐡𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐝, 𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚 𝐜𝐮𝐭𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐭, 𝐈 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 (𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐟 𝐮 𝐅𝐫𝐞𝐲𝐚), 𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟, 𝐝𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐭𝐲, 𝐬𝐞𝐱 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬, 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐠𝐞, 𝐢𝐝𝐤 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐞. 𝐎𝐡 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐡, 𝐍𝐎 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐎𝐅𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃 

𝐀𝐍_𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐞𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐧 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐝𝐮𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐉𝐨𝐞𝐥’𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐢𝐧 𝐉𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐬𝐨𝐧. 𝐇𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐚 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞, 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐡 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐳𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐝𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐧𝐨𝐰, 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐨𝐧 𝐬𝐨𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐦𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐞𝐱𝐢𝐬𝐭, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐄𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦. 𝐈𝐭’𝐬 𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐝𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜. 𝐔𝐧𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐮𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐲, 𝐰𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐥 𝐦𝐨𝐝𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 :(.

✰ 𝙄𝙉𝘿𝙀𝙓 (𝙈𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩 𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚) (𝙨𝙚𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙨 𝙢.𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩 𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙩𝙤𝙤)

♪ ♫ 𝙋𝙀𝘿𝙍𝙊 𝙋𝙇𝘼𝙔𝙇𝙄𝙎𝙏 (𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙨𝙩 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙮𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩)

「 𝐅𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐲: 𝐑𝐞𝐣𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐦𝐞, 𝐈 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐢𝐭 」 𝐄𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞

(Each chapter can be read alone)

The first morning of heat you feel in the year is calm. The ending of spring in 2024 in Jackson was getting very obvious. It’s 9:00 am, and the street is quiet, but you can hear the sound of the cooking eggs on the stove being made. 

A cup of ginger and lemon tea rests beside the sink, and the smoke melts with the one that erupts from the eggs. 

As you wait a little for the food to be ready, you look out the window at a cute couple of birds peppering each other on a tree branch. The brown and beige little birds shower in love while they both share some piece of food you can’t identify. 

They looked like a solid couple, unlike you and Joel. 

You get used to many things very fast. So living in Jackson for two weeks and a half show you that they lived like an ordinary town. With regular jobs, food, and social rules, within what fits. Soon you realized living in Jackson was the closest to what the world was before the infection. And that people never perceived you as Joel’s partner. 

But you and Joel had never put a name to your relationship, it was still hard for him to understand his love for you. But that only burdened you after you started to see many women felt attracted to him. The worst part is that your way of feeling jealousy was isolating and getting depressed. You used to feel like that when Tess and Joel were (kind of) together. But now it came with the pressure of him or you formalizing the relationship. 

And things were… complicated. The man and Ellie had been weird with you, distant and cold. The first days you thought it was because of the change, but now it was the same. Joel was joining the patrols and spent the afternoon in the bar with Tommy. While Ellie was starting to go to school, she was locked in her bedroom when she returned. 

Meanwhile, you didn’t know what to do. First, the house had things to clean; then you claimed your own room. You shared the master bedroom with Joel, but the house's smallest room was filled with books you had collected over the days and he ones you had since Boston.

Back into the present, the creak on the wood floor brought you back to reality. Joel entered the kitchen in his daily clothes: boots, a button-up shirt, and dark jeans.

“Hey…” you greet him with a smile. He reciprocates and walks to lean and leave a kiss on your temple. “Good morning, dear.”

“I made some breakfast….” you explain quietly. He nods, giving you a brief smile. “Smells great, thanks.”

“I was thinking. Maybe we could go and have fun in the bar later.” Joel is about to say yes. But soon he remembered you couldn’t enter a bar. Well, you can, but you can’t drink. You’re pregnant, and he hadn’t told you yet.

“I can’t. Tommy needs me to fix one of the stable fences. It’s going to take us a lot of time.” He wasn’t lying, but sure, he was exaggerating. You sigh quietly, placing the eggs, bacon, and a slice of toast on two plates—one for him and one for Ellie. “I’m sorry, baby.”

“It’s okay…” he knew you were sad about it. But he couldn’t find a way to tell you yet. He wanted to be ready and prepared. But he had to hurry since no one knew how many months you were into the pregnancy. And it was selfish of him to delay the reveal because you had been to checked up.

Ellie entered the room, also ready to go, which disappointed you because you would be alone so early. 

“What about you, Ellie? We could watch a movie or bake something together..” the girl looked at you with wide eyes. Since the day of the hospital, she can’t look you straight in the eye, or she would spill the truth. 

“I-I have an upcoming presentation from geography. I wanted to finish it early” both feel terrible to you. Both want a little familiar moment, but it would be worst. 

“Next weekend, dear,” Joel says, avoiding your upset look. Then, they sit at the table, and Ellie notices you stay on your feet. 

“You’re not gonna eat?” Then, after briefly looking at the food, you shake your head. “I used to love eggs, boiled or scrambled. But suddenly, they give me nausea.”

Joel and Ellie look at each other. Eating in silence. You lived from figs every morning since the seeds you and Joel planted outside were highly fertile. Chopped figs and milk with oats were fine. You didn’t want to exaggerate but couldn’t help but cry a little as you washed the dishes. It was weird because now you had a home, a “family,” but you felt so alone again. Similar thoughts ran through your head while you broom the porch. 

“Hey! There you are….” you are startled by a feminine voice. It’s Maria coming from the street. She’s carrying his baby boy from two months old. You smile at her and leave the broom on the door frame. 

“Hi! And hello, baby boy” the baby is barely awake, but you pretend to greet him too. Maria smiles, and with your help, you invite her inside the house. 

“I’m surprised. You have done a lot to the house. Looks different” she's very kind to you. Maria never failed to admit she liked you more than Joel and Ellie. But she was getting used to them too. As for the moment, she was okay with having you around. The baby liked you, and you weren't afraid to share your love for babies. 

"But what can I do for you on a Thursday morning?" You said as she smiled, sitting in the living room as you carried the baby. 

"Well, I was talking with Tommy. And we both agreed that you could join our council in the future. But for now, we think you could work as a teacher. We have a minimal amount of paramedics, and besides helping in our clinic, you could teach the youth. I know you did a little surgery on Joel" instantly, you smile through the painful memory of seeing your lover at the verge of dying. Either way, Maria made your day with that simple sentence. 

“YES!.. yeah, I’d love that,” she smiles kindly, liking your reaction very much. 

After over an hour, she takes you to the small school. And begins showing you how it works. Then you understand that you’ll start in two days, making you simultaneously nervous and excited.

Making your way out of the school, you freeze, looking at the bar entrance. It was 5:00 pm, and Joel was chuckling with the town midwife, Freya. You had met her the first days after returning to Jackson. She was that kind of fake person that showered you with kindness, but it was apparent how hypocritical she was. And she seemed to like Joel very much, always smiling and saying hello when she spotted you and him walking from Tommy’s house. 

Freya was slightly older than you, probably late twenties or early thirties, and she bragged with the excuse of her husband being a contractor just like Joel used to be. Also, she never hesitated to ignore you or barely knowledge your presence. 

Little did she know, you hated trouble. So you ignored her too, slipping away from Joel when she came, only to return some minutes later and remind him you wanted to leave. Joel would put his arm around your shoulder and say goodbye to Freya.

However, this time was different because Joel was supposed to be with Tommy fixing the fence, not at the bar's entrance, giggling with that woman. Seeing her so desperate to make him do something else boils your blood. And it terrifies you what could be Joel’s reaction. 

You wanted to trust him. But you didn't have many options when he had been so strange lately, and Ellie too. Maybe Ellie knew something, so she was also avoiding you. But you didn’t have the heart to pry about it with her. She was just a kid and didn’t need to be involved in “adult” stuff. 

“Again with that imprudent woman? Gosh…” you jumped, looking at your new friend, Rosalie. She was another teacher, and she helped you since day one. She was a year younger than you and was a lovely woman. Honest and humble, with a loyal boyfriend and aunt living three houses away from yours with Joel and Ellie. 

“Jesus! Rosalie. You scared me.” She giggled, offering you a cup of tea, which you accepted kindly. “What? C’mon y/n. If I saw Rae spending too much time with her, I would give him a cathedra or a warning.”

“He’s not that kind of man, but….” you go quiet, looking at Joel and the woman as they keep talking and laughing occasionally. “He’s been acting so weird. Even Ellie is, and I don’t find any other reason but….”

“Him cheating? I thought older men wanted to fuck young girls. Every day I get them less.” she knew you were not in the mood to laugh, so she sighed, hugging you slightly. 

“We’re not even an official couple. He technically is allowed to cheat…”

“Oh my god, y/n. That man loves you. I’ve seen you two. He’s a man of word, I can tell. But Freya holds a terrible reputation regarding couples and relationships.” Freya caused a divorce four years ago in Jackson. It was a big scandal, but her friends said she was on a breakdown for her husband's death. Still, she was a maneater and didn’t like many women, including you.

“But don’t jump to make conclusions yet. See if there’s any other hint.” Rosalie was right. She was good, and she almost lost Rae to the infection some months ago, making her stronger and brave.

“You’re better at this. I don’t have any social skills.” You say, causing her to giggle. But the truth is that you felt like a fish out of water in Jackson. Ellie was going to school and making friends, and Joel had Tommy. But you, you were alone, even left alone by them. 

So Rosalie was your anchor and even Maria was your anchor sometimes.

“I felt like you were when I arrived with Rae here. We were eighteen, and we had escaped from Phoenix QZ. He joined the electricians; always been good with wires. But I was alone for the first months until I joined the school and made time teaching babies.” You sip at the tea, and the warm flavor of cherry and berries tastes amazing. “So don’t be sad. It’s hard to get used to the change. Especially after all the things you went through, y/n.”

“Thanks, Rosalie. I appreciate it so much.” She nods with a wink, hugging you tightly as you focus on Joel and Freya again. You meet his eyes, and instantly you avoid him. Hiding your face on Rosalie, who noticed the action. She takes you away, hoping to make you feel better.

“It’s going to be okay. He must have a good reason, and Ellie too.” You nod again, eyes on the clear sky of Jackson’s spring was your favorite season, but summer was getting better. 

You like to wear wide jeans and thin-strap tops. Eat ice cream and be outside after sunset. 

“I hope so, Rosalie. I really do….” you don’t notice, but Joel is looking at you yet, feeling guilty from seeing your sad pouting face. 

__

Ellie knew you wanted to ask her something after dinner. She could feel your gaze but stayed with her head down the whole meal. And Joel wished to act like everything was fine, but he was notoriously awkward. 

“So, Did you like the soup?” you asked with a little smile at the man and the girl. The mushroom and onion soup was delicious, with some bread Rosalie helped you to bake hours before. But they only nod quietly. 

Maybe I shouldn’t tell them about my new job, you think. So you stay quiet for the rest of dinner too. 

You are the first to finish, and Joel noticed how fast you were eating, which worsened his anxiety. He couldn’t wait longer; he was scared to wait until your bump popped. 

“Leave the dishes in the sink. I’ll clean them in the morning…” without any other word, you leave them alone. 

Ellie sighs and stops eating, looking at Joel. 

“I can’t fucking do this anymore,” Ellie whispers, and Joel doesn’t reply. “She’s getting upset, Joel.”

“I know…” your attitude minutes earlier clearly showed your disappointment. The look you had after seeing him and Freya talking was another sign. “She’s going to get tired. She’s going to get sad and….”

“I know,” Joel repeated, a little colder. But Ellie threw her fork into the table, surprising him.

“No, you don’t. Freya might be helping you to reveal the news to y/n. But she has clear intentions with you; everyone knows she does.” Joel was stunned by the girl's answer. He only stared at her thoughtfully. “You are taking too much time. It looks weird how much time you spend with that woman. If you’re going to change your mind about y/n, tell me. Because she’s very important to me, and I’m not willing to see her on the verge of another mental breakdown. And if you don’t hurry to tell her, I will”

Joel is shocked. He sighs, pressing his palms into his face. The stress would kill him, but it would be worse the next day.

__

In the morning, you pretended everything was fine, a little distant, but felt normal. Then, after Joel left and Ellie were gone, you arrived at the school.

Ellie was in the other little building with kids her age. You were teaching youths from 16 to 19 years old. 

After introducing yourself, you explain some basic things about first aid. Then, by giving them time to ask questions, you move on to put some practice on them, cleaning a wound. You had prepared a class with no experience. Maria’s council accepted it and quickly let you go.

The guys are incredible, patient, and willing to learn. And by the time classes are over, it is 4:30 pm. Rosalie knocks on your door, finding you alone inside.

“How was your first day?” You tell her everything, and she hears excited. By 5:30 pm, you two are laughing and sharing stories. Rosalie loves to hear all the things Joel had done for you in the past, and you love to listen to her share about how she grew up with Rae since they were kids. 

Until Freya appears out of nowhere with her long red hair and face full of freckles, teasing a bad omen.

“Oh, hi, y/n. I heard today was your first-day teaching. Congratulations” you give her a little smile, feeling uncomfortable with her presence. “Just wanted to pass and say hi. I bet Joel is super excited for you. With the baby coming soon and Ellie in school?”

Baby? what the hell was that woman talking about?

“Baby?” Rosalie asks. And Freya smiles kindly, fake. 

“Well, y/n’s baby, of course. She’s pregnant.” you frown, heart pounding. 

“I’m not pregnant, Freya.” She shrugs, twirling a hair in her finger. 

“Oh gosh, Joel hadn’t told you? I’m so sorry, y/n.” But, of course, she doesn’t feel sorry. It’s her job to ruin couples.

“Joel told me. A little before you arrived, you and Ellie had an accident in a hospital. And the doctors told him you were pregnant. But he didn’t know how to tell you. I’m sorry.” 

You go pale. Watching Rosalie in horror, she’s just as confused as you are. 

“He spent hours in my house last weekend. He wanted to surprise you,” Rosalie snaps at the red-haired girl. 

“Freya. Shut up,” your friend say. You stand up quietly and pass by the woman. 

“Excuse me…” you apologize and leave. 

From school to your house, you start feeling angry. Then, rage invades you because no matter if you are pregnant or not, Why he had to talk about your intimacy with Freya?

Why hadn’t he told you directly? A baby was a wish of yours but not a plan. 

People stare at you, looking at your red eye and raged face. 

When you open the door, Joel is seated at the table, drinking.  And the words spill out instantly.

“Is it true? That I’m fucking pregnant? Because I had to learn from fucking Freya,” Joel freezes. He wasn’t expecting to hear that after your arrival. After waiting and seeing he was silent, you push him to speak. “TELL ME!”

“…y/n. Please calm down-“ but you don’t want to wait. You need answers. He stands up silently.

“Is it true?” You ask pleadingly. Joel sighs, slowly starting to nod.

“Yes…” he admits. And somehow, you don’t feel illusion or love. This is not how you wanted to get pregnant. 

“What the fuck, Joel?” you ask, outraged. The pain in your throat increases, aching. 

“Freya was helping me to understand how developed the pregnancy might br. Also, she was helping me to know how to tell you. We’ve been through a hell and I just couldn’t burst out the news.” Joel wasn’t naïve. He didn’t trust anyone. What changed?

“Don’t bullshit me, Joel. That’s a fucking pathetic excuse; everyone knows she’s a whore” you tried to avoid denigrating women, but Freya was mentally ill, screwing couples to feel better after her husband's death. 

“You know I’m not that kind of man. I just needed help.” Unfortunately, Ellie heard and came downstairs. Now she was at the kitchen entrance, looking at you two arguing.

“STOP LYING!. This isn’t happening, this isn’t happening …” maybe you were delirious cause you didn’t hesitate to crash his glass against the wall. You burst into tears, feeling so shameful. 

“I can’t be pregnant. I was bleeding for months. I don’t have any symptoms….” Joel tries to step closer, but you step backward, hurting him with the action.

“The fireflies. The hospital wristband indicated anemia and pregnancy.” you shake your head. And Ellie is afraid of what could happen eventually. She’s worried for you.

Once she steps further into the kitchen, you look at her. She knew her regretful look had given her away.

“You also knew. And-, So you two opt for distancing and leaving me alone?” you find it hard to understand their decision, but it makes you mad. “I know you two had a hard past. I know we went through shit. But in the end, I guess you two are still those cold shits without empathy from the beginning”

“No, love. Listen-we have to think clearly.” it’s useless. You feel hurt and betrayed. You want to scream and disappear at the same time.

“NO, STOP IT. You were being a dick with that whore. You lied to me and encouraged Ellie to do the same. I’m pregnant and we are not even an official couple” Both see you scream and cry with pain. But you haven’t finished. “I don’t know if I want you to be the father of this baby. I don’t know if I want to have a baby. And I don’t know if I want a family like this.”

Ellie and Joel's hearts broke when you ran upstairs and slammed your room door. 

When Joel turns to see Ellie, she’s sobbing. The man hurries to hug her, and she hides her face in his chest.

“I’m sorry, baby girl.” His eyes are teary too.

Ellie fears ending up without a family, and Joel was significantly hurt by your insecurity about him being the father of your child. 

Joel understands that the three of you can’t keep living in pain after being in the ideal place to build a happy life. He needs you as much as you need him. Ellie needs the two of you. And that baby needed a sister and their parents. 

__

Knock knock.

“Go away, please,” you say, faltering a little. You have been sobbing for what feels like hours—curled in the little twin bed of the room you had for yourself. 

“Baby, please let me in.” Joel pleads on the other side of the door. You sigh, hiding under the blanket because you know he will enter. 

“I’m so sorry,” it’s the first thing he says, sitting on the edge of the bed. 

His hands start traveling from your back to your hip, comforting you. 

“But I’m not letting this thing of arguing and hurting each other screws our new lives.” he uncovers your face. And you can see how badly you hurt him. His face full of wrinkles and grays, those beautiful eyes you love, and his patchy beard you love. You don’t want to keep hurting him, either. 

“I was scared to tell you. After all the trauma you went through, the things we have seen. I wanted to find a decent way to tell you. But yeah, you’re right; Freya is a bitch. I knew she was flirting, but she’s the only midwife in town.” he tries to avoid excusing himself. You also notice it.

“Maybe talking with Maria was enough. First sorry of the night. I would never be unfaithful to you. To be honest, I thought we were a couple since we arrived here. I only have eyes for you and only you, my beautiful woman. I’m sorry for hurting you.” there’s a tiny smile trying to peek on your face. He can feel it. 

“Ellie wanted to tell you. She has been worried for you.” your heart aches at the statement.

“And I don’t blame you for hesitating about forming a family with her and me. We’re not the most usual couple, and she’s not the most normal adopted child.” finally, you chuckle. He does it too, and both of you feel that spark again. 

“Half of the town is awkward about us being together.” Again, both of you laugh. And it’s true. Most people disliked the idea of you dating someone so much older like him. 

“I’m not the best person. Maybe I don’t deserve to be a father again. But…” suddenly, you feel the urge to contradict him. 

“No, Joel. Don’t say that, please. You’ve committed some errors, like me. But you deserve to be a father again. I’m so sorry for making you believe otherwise.” he accepts your hug desperately. Both of you feel at home again. “I love you so much, Joel. I don’t want to keep hurting each other or Ellie. I want us to be happy.”

“We could have some therapy. Tommy said someone here can help with that” instantly, you nod. That sounded very good. “I’d really like that.”

“Okay. Then we’ll do it,” he states. And he’s able to examine your sweet face. “Looks, I should have given to you before….”

He places your mother’s necklace in your hands. You gasp in surprise. You knew he had it, but the action revealed that he had read your letter. “My mother’s necklace….”

It’s a thin gold chain with a little seashell pendant. She wore it since she was a girl, which was your only memory of her, besides a wrinkled family picture that now rested in the living room. 

“You read the letter…”

“I did. I can’t believe you were a California baby!” His words made you laugh instantly.

“Shut up, Texas”

He feels like he loses himself in the color of your eyes and eyelashes. Then, after securing the necklace around your neck, he wants to cup your red cheeks and your lips… he wants to kiss you so badly. 

“Promise me. We’ll try until we make it real this time.” Because it was fallacy after fallacy from the two years you had been together. Because of Tess, FEDRA, the QZ, taking Ellie, the infected, the fireflies. Now, What was stopping you two from being happy?

“I promise. For you, Ellie… and this one.” He exclaims, his hand caressing your stomach. You had forgotten about it. 

“I can’t believe I’m pregnant,” you admit to him. He sends you a sweet smile, still caressing your skin. There’s no visible or touchable bump yet; Joel still feels protective. 

“Me neither,” he shrugs, keeping the smile. “But it’s not like we had protection. And we are kind of a needy couple.” 

“Yeah. Good stamina for a silly old man.” you feel his arm gently pushing you as he rolls his eyes. When your arms end around his neck, he feels so comfortable. “This isn’t how I wanted a baby. But… I can tell you’ll be a good father to him. So it’s okay….” 

“And I can tell you’ll be the smartest and cutest mama.” He chuckles when you let a big Oww, Joel. And he’s more than pleased to accept another big hug. That’s when he can’t help but asks, “Can I kiss you?”

“Yeah…” it’s heated but adorable. And you’re so used to feeling his raspy beard against your cheeks and nose that you welcome the feeling. Joel is smiling through the kiss. He holds your hips swiftly and fights against the urge to invite his tongue to the kiss. But he’s surprised when you do it, and he replies. After that, the kiss gets messy, sloppy, and passionate. 

“I love you, dear” Joel accepts, pressing his forehead against yours. “I love you too.”

“You can come in, Ellie,” Joel says, hearing a knock and raising his voice. You smile at the girl opening the door, shyly making her way toward you. 

You offer your arms, and she runs to join the hug. Joel wraps his arms around the girl and you. 

“I'm sorry for yelling at you, Ellie,” you told the girl. She nods quietly, accepting you're apology. 

“Now let’s have some dinner. While I make something, you two can get a shower and pajamas ready,” you add, and she can feel she could cry a river for it. Ellie would always admire how you weren’t afraid to show and give love. 

__

A month later, things are so much better. Therapy was working very well for you and Joel. Joel pushed Freya entirely away and told her she wouldn’t be your midwife. Maria roasted Joel when you revealed you were pregnant because she didn’t like you dating an older man. But she accepted it by Tommy’s petition, and it was a nice grill day. 

Mornings were warm breakfasts, and afternoons were for playing and spending time with Ellie. And Fridays or Saturdays were mandatory dates for you and Joel. 

Walks to the stable, reserved dinner at midnight (courtesy of Tommy), steamy lovemaking when Ellie was at the movies, and gardening together. 

And now, out of nowhere, your belly popped. It looked like you were around five months pregnant, but you and Joel estimated you probably were three months into the pregnancy. However, with the upcoming arrival of summer, you only wanted to use sundresses that showed your bump. 

“There’s my perfect girl.” you feel Joel's big hands behind you, hugging you and weighing your belly. “Hi, love”

“Hello, handsome,” you greet him. Turning around to face him and planted a big kiss on his lips. “How was work today?”

“Thankfully, calmed. No infected, no rangers, everything is fine for now.” You nod while he plays with your hands. He looks happy, and it makes you happy. “Hey. We should go out. I want to give you something.”

“You know I don’t like surprises, Joel,” he smirks, grasping your hips seductively. You giggle when he starts to kiss your jaw and neck.

“I think you’ll like this surprise a lot.” rolling your eyes, you sigh. “Okay. Can I wear a sundress?”

“Oh, that would be perfect.” Then, sending him a sour look, you start to the stairs. “Perv.”

“What?-no. Come here…” he said playfully. But once he made it upstairs, you locked the closet door. “I’ll wait here, don’t worry, baby.”

“Good, just one thing. Orange or beige?” you ask. Joel wonders if you are making him choose between shoes or a dress, he prays it’s the dress. 

“Beige,” he answers. “I’ll take a shower.” 

“Okay,” you accept. And no later than five minutes, he’s ready, with a plain shirt, jeans, and boots. He has the sleeves rolled up how you like.

But he can swear he was about to tear after you exited the closet. First, you had the most simple but beautiful beige sundress with soft but attractive details on the torso. Then the thin and long fabric making your bump look so cute. 

“You look very…oh god” you’re beyond surprised after seeing Joel getting emotional. You ran to hug him, placing your chin on the top of his head as he sat on the bed's edge. “Sorry. It’s just you look so beautiful. I love you so much.” 

“Oh, Joel. You look gorgeous, and I love you so much, too.” he nods, leaning his ear on your bump. He wants to stay like that forever.

__

He takes you on a walk to the little park people built-in 2021 before he gets both of you some ice cream—vanilla for you, chocolate for him. 

“I’m still waiting for you to play us a song,” you say, rubbing your belly. Joel noticed you had started to include the baby every time. You also had cravings for dinner meals. 

“I'm still looking for a guitar” He was mesmerized by this new version of you. Pregnant, without significant worries, and always in pretty sundresses. “And don’t use our kid as your alibi.”

“I’m not. Right?” You ask to your belly, making Joel laugh and lean to kiss you. Without boots, you looked so tiny, and he loved to look bigger than you. 

At that moment, with the sun hitting your face and looking at your beautiful smile, he thinks it’s time. 

“Close your eyes, baby.” You obey happily. Then you feel him taking your hands and slipping something cold into them. When you open your eyes to look, you find a ring. 

“Joel…” you never planned to get married. You didn’t even think it was possible after the infection. 

“Let’s get married” But there you had Joel standing on one knee, proposing marriage. 

“Where did you get that?” You ask, covering your mouth. He shrugs. “There’s a department full of useless things. Maria told me that this kind of stuff is not the most looked-out. So she let me grab a ring. I know you like emeralds, but there was only this one or a Pearl. And…”

“Joel is perfect. Yes, yes, I’ll fucking marry you” nodding, he leans to hug you, knowing that therapy will continue, but this will change everything. Now it would be official. 

“Wait-, like. Right now?” He nods, standing up.

“Yeah, apparently, it’s very easy.” You are shocked. But you’re eager to find out and do it. 

“Okay… let’s go.” You giggle, taking his hand. 

Some turn to see you and Joel walking through the town. It was normal now. But if they knew you were on your way to get married. 

Tommy was leaving the offices when he looked at you and Joel and smiled, waving. 

“Hey. Where’s the church?” Joel asks, making Tommy laugh at the randomness. 

“Two blocks to the left from here. Why? You weren’t very religious back in the day, big brother” you laugh with Tommy, and your partner only rolls his eyes. 

“We’re getting married, Tommy.” His brows show he’s surprised but happy. And like the extrovert he could be, he started rambling.

“Oh my-. I’m taking Maria, our kid, and Ellie. Oh, and a camera. Get going. I will be there in a little.” You wave back at Tommy as he starts going to his home. Then you turn to face Joel.

“He’s so ridiculous.” You push him gently. Then you spot Freya on the street. She looks surprised because your belly wasn’t visible some days ago and now it’s very noticeable. Joel has his arm protectively around your shoulders. Freya must be pissed. 

But you ignore her, knowing that day was only about you and Joel. 

“We should make skewers to celebrate. And the cake I made… oh. You’re an asshole, that’s why you suggested me to bake something.” Busted, Joel got caught. Not that it mattered anymore, but he remembered how smart you were once again. 

“Yes. And it looks amazing. It’s been a while since we had strawberries.” You made a simple chocolate cake with strawberries, jam, and cream. Joel suggested the ingredients since he helped plant some strawberries in your little garden. 

“Can I invite Rosalie and Rae?” Joel nods. He liked the girl and her boyfriend. They were smart and kind. Joel liked it a lot you were making friends. He didn’t have a lot because he already had Tommy. But he knew you would befriend someone who he could trust.

“Sure. Ellie likes Rae a lot” because both were nerds about space stuff. Rae had comics and collected everything related to NASA. So Ellie was excited to meet him. She also liked Rosalie, but Rae had something to share with the girl. 

“I know. They’re a pair of nerds,” both of you giggle on the way to the church. 

And once you’re inches away from entering, nervousness succumbs to you.

“Hey. If you’re not ready, we can wait.” Joel comforts you. But you’re ready, and you’re sure of being his wife. The Miller last name suited you. 

“No, I’m sure. I want to do it now. It’s just… I never imagined this would happen to me. Since my family-, I-, I wanted a family. And now, I have Ellie, we’re getting married, and I’m pregnant. We even got that fucking house with the garden where I’ll plant the seeds my family had.” You realize it’s such a big coincidence. How life treated you like shit for so long, and now, it gave you all you wanted at once. 

“It’s what we deserve” actually is what you deserve, Joel thinks. Because he had a lie left, which he hoped would die with him. “Especially you, my love.”

“I don’t want to be arrogant, but fuck yeah. I deserve this,” you accept with a smile. Joel loves you so much that just by looking two seconds at you, he feels he has fallen deeper for you. 

“Let’s get married then….” you nod, entering the church.

__

Ellie looks perplexed at you and Joel. Tommy is talking with him and you. Maria is also in the conversation but helping you place a veil on your head. 

It must be old and rural. Because the piece was delicate and short and weirdly matched your simple dress. 

Again, Ellie was perplexed. She never thought about seeing this side of you and Joel. Both smiling so often, laughing, and being…happy. 

However, she was happy for you two. She wanted to meet the upcoming baby and already felt she was part of the family.

Tommy invited her to the stable when Maria corrected or scolded her for being mean.

Then you and Joel cooking with her, playing board games, and even folding laundry with him or you. 

“Ellie. It already started.” Maria whispers to her. The girl snaps out and can see Joel and you holding heads as a man says things she ignores. Only when you and Joel are officially proclaimed wife and husband does she takes very little to stand up to hug you. 

“I’m so fucking happy for your two.” You and Joel exchanged emotional looks, and he joined the hug for a brief moment. 

“Welcome to the family” Tommy congrats you and then his brother. You thank Maria for the veil, and she starts taking some pictures with an old camera. Ellie takes some. Maria takes others. It’s a happy moment. 

“Wait, hey. Kiss the bride, man,” Tommy suggests mocking his brother. But Joel doesn’t hesitate to pull you closer, taking your waist and cheek, passionately kissing you. 

You get lost in the moment, feeling all the love and devotion for each other. 

Maria looks outrageous at Joel, suddenly turning to Ellie.

“You’re staying with us tonight,” she states, making Ellie frown. 

“Why? she’s already pregnant.” The woman sends a lousy look to Ellie, and the girl shrugs, feigning innocence. 

“With Tommy and I, Ellie,” she clarifies again, turning to see you and Joel still kissing.

You feel warm and light in Joel's arms. As the kiss is over, he keeps smiling at you. And it’s lovely that you could get used to his smile after years of seeing him serious. 

“I love you” He feels the same. He’s getting used to watching you all beautiful and happy. 

“I'll try so hard to make you happy, Mrs. Miller.” 

Now he’s yours, and you’re his, forever. 

__

Woah, so it's over. When I wrote the first part of this, it wasn't supposed to turn into a series, but I'm glad it did. I LOVE YOU for supporting this series so much. I'm still writing extras, like the birth and ideas from requests. 

Taglist: @aonungs-tsahik @buckysmainhxe @amethystwonders11 @kyuupidwrites @bookfrog242 @acornacreacure @enbywan @ipadkidsworld @my-obsession-spn @happycupcakeenthusiast @thesameoldboo @spideysimpossiblegirl @tubble-wubble @flightlexsbird @randomstory56 @memento-mora @royalty-cashinout @ayamenimthiriel @eddies-bat-tattoos @kassieesworld @damnzelsoul @floffytofu @rintheemolion @coldheartedmar @woofgocows @d4rno @marantha @floralsightings @pedro-pascal-3nthusiast @holb32 @harperdoodle

[fuckyeahdindjarin]

Goodbye 2023

It’s such a cliche, but this year has literally been the highest of the high and lowest of the low. It started promisingly, in gorgeous New Zealand on our honeymoon (with TLOU premiering the same day as our outbound flight!). Never could I have imagined that 9 months later, we'd be mourning a pregnancy loss in neighbouring Western Australia.

I didn’t know what a cairn was when my husband took this picture at Lake Tekapo, two weeks before Joel stacked rocks by the river for Tess in episode 3. I’m not really a spiritual person, but finding this random photo in my album and being able to retrospectively attach meaning to it is an unexpected source of comfort.

These few months have been so hard that writing has been relegated to the back of my mind. But I will take this moment to celebrate Palomino, my pride and joy that I said goodbye to this year; and also Seams, which happened completely out of the blue, despite me thinking I would never write for post-outbreak Joel; and everything else in between.

In my grief, I threw myself head first into starting @fuckyeahpaperco, and it has been a lifeline. Having something to focus on, learning how to run my own business, kept my head above the water when things got really difficult. I have no words to describe how grateful I am for the way you guys supported me and embraced my little venture. Thank you.

To my amazing readers, customers, mutuals, friends - thank you for being there for me when I most needed it. I am so incredibly lucky to have all of you and I don't know what I've done to deserve you. I feel so guilty that I haven't replied to all of your words of kindness, but please know that I’ve drawn so much strength from every single one. I'm sorry if I haven't been able to show up for you guys the same way in recent months, but as I heal, I will try my best to do so.

To round this off - today, on the last working day of the year, we signed a new tenancy agreement and got the keys to our new home. We are literally closing the door to 2023 and everything that happened, and I'm hoping there are happier days ahead.

Here's to 2024, I hope it will be kinder and gentler for all of us ❤️

[emilylawsons]

Of Artists and Architects

A Cordyceps-Free Tessjoel AU

TLOU | Rated E

Consider this a rebrand. I’ve been writing this fic for over a year, and we’re 15 chapters in as of now—May 2024. With more time on my hands this summer, I’d like to jump headfirst into working toward finishing this story. I don’t think I’ve ever worked this hard on a creative endeavor, and it would be awesome to see it regain traction.

I will keep this post pinned with updates. I will also be working on small tweaks to the existing chapters.

In the meantime, enjoy bartender/artist Tess, good parent Joel, and lots of Miller family love.

•-•-•

Austin, TX—Late August

He comes in on Friday nights. Has been for the last three months. Sometimes he shows up with another guy who she’s pretty sure is his brother. Sometimes he’s alone. From what she’s gathered, they work late nights and this is their kickback.

This is fine, of course. Except for the part where he refuses to have anything to do with her outside of ordering a beer or a shot of American Honey. If he’s with the brother, he flat out ignores her. If it’s just him, he sits quietly at a booth, broods, and refuses to speak.

As a damn good bartender, frankly, that pisses her off.

Continue on AO3

•-•-•

UPDATES

5/22/24: Chapter 16 is now posted!

6/11/24: Chapter 17 is up

7/5/24: As of today, Chapters 18 and 19 are live

9/15/24: We are all the way up through Chapter 21 as of last week!

[nerdieforpedro]

Day Twelve - Daydream

Word Count: 767

Warnings: Joel is very much in his FEELINGS, guilt, self-loathing, grief, imagined poisoning attempt, COFFEE, do I have a thing with porches now?

Notes: Joel Miller may have some survivor's guilt. I wanted to explore what he might be thinking about in Jackson, where he's safe with Ellie. I mean maybe, I dunno. I am familiar with how thoughts can swirl.

Main Masterlist / March Spring Prompts 2024 / Writing Challenges

Joel Miller’s mind wonders more than people realize. He’s aware that he’s thought of as a boogeyman, legend, nightmare, murderer in the various places he’s been, also here in Jackson too. He keeps a small core group: Tommy and Elle, his brother and his kid. There’s also Maria who tolerates him because he’s useful and her husband’s brother, otherwise she’s on the side of the vast majority in Jackson who steer clear of him. He’s used to the ire and navigating it with a scowl and indifference. He’s aware of what he’s done, worse than people think and he doesn’t regret it. He’s still standing. Joel Miller is still alive. There are times he’s able to picture his daughter Sarah’s face, oddly when he’s out on patrol and sees crimson roses or yellow pansies. If she was here with him, he’d be motivated to do worse to keep her safe, or maybe because she’s with him, he wouldn’t need to. The echoes of her laughter and playful mockery of his lack of culinary skills makes him still form laugh lines on his face when he’s by himself and between the tears.

There are other times where Joel finds himself curious how Tess would do in a place like Jackson. How big of a pissing match would her and Maria have over how things should be run? Would she even care enough to stay or want to keep moving like they had been, smuggling to survive? Would her hair look the same with the sunlight hitting it through the window, a straw yellow with streaks of brown? The same deep breaths against his back as he stays somewhat alert just in case. Just because he’s gotten used to life without her doesn’t mean he doesn’t remember the way Tess smelled or comforted him in some of his darkest days.

It's a rare day he’s not on patrol. Elle’s gone off to classes and he’s sitting on his porch. It’s cool so he has on his green flannel over his white t-shirt and jeans. The air is helping him to wake up in addition to the coffee he’s drinking. It’s horrible, but it was this or some flower tea Maria suggested. She could be trying to poison him; he didn’t know what flower that was.

“Good morning, Joel.”

You greet him despite knowing who he is and what he’s done. Joel’s fairly certain you at least have an idea. Your small wave and warm smile have him sip his coffee to hide his own. He can’t smile for you, you’re not one of his people. He nods after he pulls his cup back from his mouth, certain he can keep his face neutral. He raises his hand, and you nod, heading down the road. You live three houses down, in a small house by yourself. Patrol with you isn’t horrible. You’re a damn good shot and keep your wits about you. On patrol Joel trusts you with his back, and you talk to him, like you did just now. It’s not much, but he’s loathe to admit how much it does mean to him. He’s seen the second floor of your house and that you still have the fuchsia primrose he’d given you a few weeks ago. Miller was surprised that you’d kept it.

Joel was curious about how conversations with you would go if he was ever keen to speak outside of clickers, raiders and landmarks on patrol. You’d likely listen to him, let him talk for a bit as he clumsily asked you some simple question like what you did before Jackson. He was glad you were close in age to him. Well, he’d put you late thirties at the youngest but he’d bet on early to mid forties, given how calm you are and that you seem to have experienced life before everything went to hell, you couldn’t be much younger. Maybe you’d tell him about family you used to have or what our old job used to be if you had one. What could Joel Miller picture your profession as?

He sees you as capable so it could be any and everything. Maybe you had several. His eyes close as he sips his coffee again, the warm liquid sliding down his throat with a gulp. Could he sit out in that field and sip coffee with you? Did you even like coffee? As the sun continued to rise, Joel was curious if you’d sit with him again on a rock but this time side by side so he could talk to you. So many daydreams.

[hypnotisedfireflies]

How do Tess and Joel react to their first ‘Day off’ together in Jackson? So after weeks/ months of them just getting on with duties, Maria is finally like ‘Take the day off, spend some time together.’ And they’re like ????

(I’m picturing them both lying in their bed that morning, wide awake like ‘Why are we doing this again?’ … ‘I don’t fuckin’ know, you’re supposed to lie in on days off.’ )

Basically, I need to hear about them getting used to relaxing and the beginnings of the slightly more domesticated Tess and Joel we’re seeing in You Only Live Twice

I started this awhile ago and got distracted - but I finished it tonight while my dinner was cooking. Hope you enjoy this, anon! Thank you for sending a fun prompt.

Cheers

November, 2024, 8am

"No, you can see it."

"I can't see it."

Joel took Tess by the upper arm and eased her sideways, so that her head was more or less level with his. He pointed again and she made an effort to follow his line of vision, squinting at the corner opposite their bed. Her palm shifted on the mattress, catching in the sheets.

"It's just like Boston," Joel explained. "The wall's just a slightly different colour. Don't look right at it. Look up and you'll see the discolouration out the corner of your eye."

Tess held her breath.

"Oh. Oh, right. I see it, yeah."

TVs were one of those things that were magicked out of homes. Their Boston apartment had lots of square blank spaces. FEDRA stripped everything that might have viable parts for repurposing, but they also had the heart to take the photos off the walls, too. Their Jackson house had the boxy TV downstairs, but for some reason, the bedroom set was gone. It explained the blank space.

Tess settled back. "If you could watch anything on TV right now, what'd it be?"

"Oh," Joel hissed, folding his hands atop his head. "Good question."

Neither Tess nor Joel considered how much they'd been in need of a rest.  It was always one foot forward, head down, go on and don’t look back.  There had been pockets of relaxation over time, but those had gotten further away from them in the later Boston years, when keeping busy kept them together.  In Jackson, they had a collective kind of rent to pay that justified the action.

Or maybe Joel was better at stopping now; but not Tess.

Maria had taken them off their work rosters.  It had come to her attention (meaning, someone told) that they were actually doing almost double the work of most other citizens.  Given that they had only settled in Jackson that year, hot of the back of surviving Out There, they had been told there was no need to fill up their days quite so strenuously.  It had been phrased like they were being done a favour, but Tess didn’t take it that way.  She needed to be busy.  She needed to keep her mind humming along.

“I didn’t watch much TV,” Joel admitted.  Then he quickly raised his hand.  “And I’m not – sayin’ that like one of those assholes who thinks they were too good for it.  But I don’t know.  I worked long hours, all over the place, and Sarah had her soccer and this thing and that and such like.  I guess I watched stuff that was just on, the kind of thing that didn’t matter if you’d missed all the other episodes.”  Beat.  “I liked <i>Cheers.”</i>

He talked about Sarah much more freely these days.

“Of course you did.”

“Did you watch much TV?”

Tess shrugged one shoulder, staring up at the ceiling.  “Sometimes?  Mike had his shows he liked. I just watched those.  I kind of preferred to read at home and watch a movie on the big screen.  Did you have a TV in your room?”

“No.  Sarah had a little one, gift from – someone.  When she was in trouble – which wasn’t a lot – I’d take the remote.  My dumb ass didn’t realise she could open it at the bottom and use it that way.”

Tess pulled the sheets over her mouth and sniggered into them.  “How did you not know that?  You’re not stupid about that kind of shit.”

“It just … I don’t know.  Thing is, I did know, because one time we lost the downstairs remote and we used the TV that way till it turned up.”

They both laughed about that for a little bit and then lay there, wondering if they should get up, what they were supposed to do with a day with nowhere to be.  Even in Boston, they always had somewhere to go, whether it was legitimate business or not.  It might be just fixing something in the apartment to keep it habitable.  There was always something to do.  If they’d really wanted to, maybe they could have made some plan for the day, but it just kind of got away from them.  And now they were awake and at a loose end.

Tess turned her head on the pillow.  “What did you used to do on days off?”

Joel took a deep breath and folded his hands behind his head.  “Huh.  Housework.”

“Yeah, good fun.”

“Work on my bike.  It always had somethin’ fuckin’ wrong with it.  I’d get her all nice and ready to go and then by the time I had time to take her out, she was fucked again.”

Tess put her hand by her mouth.  “Do you remember when you and Tommy thought it would be a great idea to -”

“That wasn’t a bad idea.”

“The roads!  We could’ve been catapulted to Kingdom Come.”

“Not with the way we rode,” Joel assured her, so earnest and cocksure of their abilities as riders that Tess had not the heart to argue it further.  She just nodded and smirked.

“Not with the way we rode,” he repeated, almost to himself.  “So what did you do on your days off?”

“I was gonna say that seems like so long ago,” Tess began.  “But it actually is so long ago.  I liked to go for a drive.  Get away, get out of the house.  Didn’t have to be far.  Just pick a direction I hadn’t been before and find out what was there.”

“Well, Tess, you’ve certainly fuckin’ done that over the past two decades.”

“Yeah, be careful what you wish for,” she snorted.

“So even on our days off we were doin’ somethin’,” Joel noted.  “You ever just stay home?”

“Sure, if I was alone.”

Joel looked at her.  That was a little more honest than she had intended, even for herself. 

“I liked my own company,” she added, quieter.  “It could be nice to just … order enough takeout for two meals, eat it in bed.  Read.  But I kind of only liked doing that by myself.”

Joel pointed at himself and then at the door.

“No,” she said.  She eased closer and rested her head on his chest.  “I’ve got the feeling you might’ve been an exception.”

His fingers combed through her hair, easing out the knots.  At length he mused, “Well, I don’t know about the old-fashioned kind of takeout, but I could see what we got downstairs.  Gotta be enough for two meals down there.  What do you say?  Sounds like somethin’ me and you could do today.”

“It’s a start,” she agreed, smiling.  “Then we can stare at that blank space and try and remember – did Sam and Diane ever end up together, after all?”

“Wasn’t that set in Boston?”

“Get out, was it?”

“Yeah.  Donovan told me about it.  He was a big fan.”

“Get the fuck out,” Tess laughed.  “In Boston?”

“Yeah, not in the QZ,” Joel added.  “But somewhere.”

“… huh.  I would’ve liked to have seen that.”

“And no.  They didn’t end up together.”  His fingers turned gentle circles against her scalp.  “Just didn’t have enough time to sort their shit out, I guess.”

[hypnotisedfireflies]

Tommy and the Fates

I had a couple of false starts for the Tommy/Maria tale in Cloud Nine & Other Stories. I was looking through my files today and realised the outtakes were a bit more substantial than I remembered, so I'm going to share them.

This takes place in 2024, before Luke is born.

Everyone had noticed the size of Maria’s belly in those weeks.  Her gait had altered too, though she was supremely self-conscious of it and the other things she could not control.

Maria’s stomach swelled in the last few weeks of her pregnancy.  She went from an almost-comfortable bump that fit beneath most clothes to something almost unmanageable. There was no position in which she could lie at night to guarantee a good sleep, and any position she could find to alleviate all her aches for just awhile came at the expense of Tommy’s comfort.  He never raised a word of complaint, but he was getting tired of being kicked in the side or clinging to the edge of the mattress in order to stay in the bed. 

“She’s handling it so well,” was a line that Tommy smiled patiently through at least five times a day from five different well-meaning, misinformed mouths.

The truth was, Maria wasn’t coping that well.  As her due date grew closer her anxiety, which she had so far done well to conceal from Tommy, began to escape containment.  Childbirth again came with complications that modern medicine had largely been able to protect women and babies from.  The mortality rate for pregnant women was high.

In the season Tommy had first come to Jackson, two women had died.  The first passed from complications from a difficult miscarriage – Tommy didn’t know the details – and the second a day after childbirth.  Never mind that there had been other healthy births in Jackson since then.  It was these occasions and others like it that Tommy remembered, and he knew Maria did, too.  

An idea had been rattling around Tommy’s head for days.  He knew he shouldn’t ask.  He already knew what the outcome would be, but for Maria’s sake, he felt he had to at least try.  Tommy made a deal with himself that he would only ask if the opportunity came up.   He would not force it.  He would just wait and see, and if the moment presented itself, then he would seize it.  Some superstitious part of Tommy’s mind told him that was the only way he would get a positive outcome. It was like handing it over to fate or nature. 

That opportunity came late one afternoon at the Bison.  Stormin’ Norman had a new batch of moonshine he wanted to try out.  Tommy and Joel had been helping set the stage up for the spring festival, and he persuaded Joel to come by the Bison for a drink before going home.

And maybe that was where Tommy fucked up, because although he was still waiting for that moment, he did kind of help it come along by convincing Joel to stop in for just one drink. He thought he could outsmart the fates.

They were not impressed by his guile and charm.

“I don’t know whether this is good,” Joel admitted, turning the glass to study the clear liquid, “or if I’ve just forgotten what the good stuff actually tastes like.”

“Don’t know if any hard liquor was ever actually good,” Tommy reasoned.  “It was just what it could do for you that was.”

“Couple of guys in Boston used to brew their own,” Joel continued. “They weren’t so bad.  Don’t think they were as strong as this.  This one time, me and Tess went out to smuggle in one of them some yeast, maize, all the stuff they wanted.  The whole gig was a bust.  We were out there for days.  Someone had gotten to it first, shot up the people we were supposed to meet, taken all the goods.”

“What’d you do?”

Joel shrugged and drank. “Not much we could do.”

“You fucked them up.”

“No,” Joel seemed almost offended.  “We had no idea who done it.  Tess thought maybe the brewer set it up, pitched some of us against one another.  She might’ve been right.  But we never got any proof of it and we didn’t work for him again.  Then he got found out anyway,” Joel took another mouthful.  “Couple of months later.  So I guess it all worked out for the best.”

“Joel,” Tommy shifted on his stool.  This was the moment, he could feel it.  “I need to ask you somethin’ about Tess.”

“She’s doin’ fine, Tommy,” Joel answered on autopilot.  “You don’t have to worry about her.”

“Actually, it’s Maria I’m worried about.”

Joel’s eyes slid to him.

“She’s – well, no one’d know it because she’s so goddamn together all the time, but she’s startin’ to sweat a bit, Joel.  The birth and all.  Everything’s lookin’ okay but, well, it ain’t like it used to be.”

The line between Joel’s eyes deepened.  “But it ain’t like it was, Tommy.  Women gave birth just fine all those years and we know all about infection and such like now.  It’s not the dark ages.  At least,” he added in a low mumble, “not in Jackson.”

“She’s nervous,” Tommy insisted. “She’s seen them go wrong over the years.  Seen a lot go right, but those ain’t the ones you remember when it’s your baby.”

“What’s this got to do with Tess?”

“… Tess had a hard time, didn’t she?”

Joel’s shoulders broadened as he took a deep breath.  “No.”

“If she just talked to Maria – you know, she survived a tough one, a tough birth – ”

“I said no.”

Tommy’s jaw set.  “You won’t even ask?”

“Maria don’t even like us!”

“… that ain’t true.”  Beat.  “She’s tryin’.”

“And whose fault is that?”

“That shit fucked me up, Joel,” Tommy whispered, leaning closer.  “And not just with you.  Shit with the Fireflies, too.  Things I done.  Ask Lachie. He was there for some of it.”

“And that’s all my fault, too?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“But she’s thinkin’ it.”

“Joel,” Tommy took a quick breath and spread his hands wide.  He forced a chuckle, determined to bring the conversation back around to civil without descending into an easy feud.  “These things take time.  She don’t hate you, not really.  But Maria, well, she’s had to listen to my nightmares -  ”

“And they’re my fault.”

“Will you knock it off?”

“It’s the truth.”

Tommy shook his head faintly.  “Don’t worry about it.”

They sat in disgruntled silence until Joel wheeled on him.  “How the fuck do you even know that about Tess, anyway?” 

As one, but in very different tones, they said:  “Rachel.”

“You don’t remember?”  Tommy asked.  “Indianapolis.  Tess was stabbed and we’d all just about given up on her.  Rachel handed us our asses.  Told us about Tess bleedin’ out after her baby, how she nearly died then and didn’t and wouldn’t now.  You don’t remember?”

Joel shook his head, perplexed.  “No.”

“But you did know anyway.”

Joel took another sip. “Yeah, I knew.”

“I just think,” Tommy quietly, gently broached, “Maybe – Maria don’t confide in many people, Joel.  She’s got this thing about stayin’ strong for everyone else, so she keeps things to herself.  But if anyone can understand how she might be feelin’, then it’s Tess, right?”

Joel finished his drink and stood up.  He clapped his hand on Tommy’s shoulder.  “I’m real sorry Maria’s all worried about it, Tommy.  I am. I can’t imagine.  But Tess can’t help either of you.  I ain’t askin’ her.”

It was probably always doomed to fail.

(I don't remember where this might have gone next, yipe).

[bumblepony]

I have a little snip to share from one of my fics!

hey hi hello - i'm here to welcome you all to Tessjoel Week 2024! Spanning from 11/24 to 11/30, we have seven prompts for you to show your love for our favorite apocalypse couple. The prompts are as follows:

Day One - Endings Day Two - In Another Life Day Three - Care [Hurt/Comfort] Day Four - Promises or Worship/Devotion Day Five - Scars/Memories Day Six - QZ Day Seven - Free Day

Any and all art (excluding AI) is encouraged, as long as it follows the day's theme! If you have any questions please feel free to message me here, or on twitter at tessjoels if that's more comfortable for you. I'm happy to help! I hope this week is a fun little end of the year week for y'all :)

[seethesunny]

I'm sooo excited this can be so much fun! 🤲🏼❤️ I can't wait to see who else is joining us 🫡

hey hi hello - i'm here to welcome you all to Tessjoel Week 2024! Spanning from 11/24 to 11/30, we have seven prompts for you to show your love for our favorite apocalypse couple. The prompts are as follows:

Day One - Endings Day Two - In Another Life Day Three - Care [Hurt/Comfort] Day Four - Promises or Worship/Devotion Day Five - Scars/Memories Day Six - QZ Day Seven - Free Day

Any and all art (excluding AI) is encouraged, as long as it follows the day's theme! If you have any questions please feel free to message me here, or on twitter at tessjoels if that's more comfortable for you. I'm happy to help! I hope this week is a fun little end of the year week for y'all :)