#Teensemotions

[scarlettmknightly]

Greetings

Hi everyone! At first, I didn't intend on actually using the account to post anything but now I changed my mind and decided to make this my personal blog, so that way, I can post some things that's happening in my life and maybe have a chance to talk with anyone who have similar situations like me or anyone intesested. So, I'm Melody, and 17 years old and I'm an asian. And I'm gonna count today as my first day of blogging. I hope I get to talk with anyone.

So, I have a younger brother called william. As asians, since our mother language not being english, william and I were 'forced' to learn english by our somewhat strict asian parents. At first, I didn't very much enjoy it, but later on, I found myself enjoying learning it. The problem is william. He's not fond of studying, like at all. So, he only feels obligated to learn it, and slacking off. My parents are not having it. Every weekend, when william has english classes, they tend to throw tantrums. Seriously, it's affecting me and I can't take it. I'm really sensitive when it comes to family issues. What I think they 'should' do here is, instead of yelling, making a scene, comparing kids and stuffs, they 'really should' mame a stretagy plan on how to get him interested and actually start learning. Them throwing tantrums is seriously not helping at all. If it were me in his shoes, I simply wouldn't be ae to take it, the pressure is too much. I really hope they stop. I tried comforting them but they won't understand my point. So, I just can't help but hope they realise it sooner.

That's it for today. I have many other things or cases, but since today's the first day, I wanna keep it somewhat brief and not too much to take in for someone out there who actually reads this. I'm not sure if people will see this or even bother to read but still this blogging will be the only thing that keeps me sane during the crazy things that's happening in my life. Thank you! I wish whoever's reading a great day and happiness!

~Melody~

[scarlettmknightly]

Maladaptive daydreaming

Today I learned that my addiction with daydreaming and my habit of constantly daydreaming in order to fall asleep is a psychology disorder called maladaptive daydreaming. It is said to be caused by trauma. It usually serves as an escape from reality when things get too hard for me to manage and in doing so, I cultivated a hobby of writing stories and daydreaming on a daily basic. I also need to create these scenarios for me to actually fall asleep. If I clear these things out from my head and my head is clear, I won’t be able to fall asleep or get insomnia. I didn’t know that it was related to childhood trauma. Since I was young, this had been my way of coping with the reality. I escaped into this dream-like realm that I created in my head and immerse myself into it until I lose sense of reality and what is happening around me. I thought I was just too addicted to daydreaming.

[scarlettmknightly]

Dreams

Hi, it’s me, Melody! What I wanna talk about this time is, dreams. Some teenagers have dreams about what they wanna do in the future and  some simply doesn't have one.Dreams do play an important role in peoples’ lives.  It’s totally fine if you don’t have one now, I believe you’ll find yours someday. 

As for me, I wanna be rich, like crazy rich, like a millionaire. Well, that’s actually a really common one if you think about it but still let a girl dream. Besides, it’s not entirely impossible for us, is it? There’s also another one; it’s to travel around the world. I’ve always wanted to visit those beautiful places that exist in this incredible world. That’ll be a great luxury. Imagine spending a night in an expensive suite and enjoying the scenery of the city. Everyone would love that, wouldn’t they? Okay so, before I get carried away with my daydreaming, I’ll stop this here and talk about my current reality. 

After I graduated from high school, I was actually lost about what to do. But then, I ended up choosing my university major as an IT student. Simply because there weren’t any other better choices that interest me. Back then, I was thinking, maybe I’ll become a game developer and apply for a job at a company. I got that idea solely from my love towards otome games (which are anime simulation types). But everything changed when my parents wanted me to continue their business in their stead. I had no interest in their work and I was strongly against the idea. They finally gave up but everything I’ve thought about until then crushed and I became lost again. I’ve decided to become a freelance software developer or something along the line at least. So that way, I can still fulfil my dream of traveling while I’m also able to work no matter where I am. My career path is pretty much unclear but I refuse to give up on my dream. I hope one day I’m able to do as I wish and  see my dreams becoming a reality. 

Thank you for reading till the end. I wish for you to find your dreams if you don’t have one yet and for those who has one, I wish you achieve it as soon as possible. Spreading love and kindness to everyone. I hope you have a good day!

~Melody~